#i mean it's not a bad thing to have regardless bc i was only using one slot amd it was but a wee little 8gb stick even though i have
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
NO I'm not mad that my new 32gb of ram won't come in until after I finish the game. It's fine and I'm not brooding
#>:(#i mean it's not a bad thing to have regardless bc i was only using one slot amd it was but a wee little 8gb stick even though i have#the capacity for 32gb#idrk just how much of a defference itll make because my motherboard is old... so... not much to be done about that unless i want to back up#my entire computer onto an external hard drive and get a new motherboard and then transfer everything back over again#which i dont! i juts had to do that last year because my computer was crashing constantly#though it turned out it was just because somehow an entire extra os was hidden deep in some file pathway somewhere. which. how. anyway#im just looking at other peoples gigs of emmrich and realizing hm i am kind of losing a lot with my lowest setting possible 😭 sad!!!#10 more days.........
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
you know what? i'm gonna say it. i miss being seventeen. not for the "glory days," bc they weren't, by a country mile lol. if i had glory days i'd say they were in 2020. but i miss the electricity, the constant undercurrent of euphoria and deep plunging black. i miss the fight i had. i was literally known for being scrappy. i was self-destructive and coping poorly, but goddamn if i didn't burn bright and long. it took me until my twenties to finally start to fizzle out. does the candle with its wax melted down to the base of its glass cage miss when the wick was lit?
#she bork#it's not even that i'm tired of fighting necessarily. clearly. if i was i wouldn't miss it. i think i miss being ABLE to fight. now i just#don't feel like i have the grit i used to have. i'm not sure if it's bc i'm healthier mentally or bc my energy has just dissipated over time#but i miss taking hit after hit (metaphorically) and wiping the blood from my lip and standing again and raising my fists. i don't do that#anymore. and again even if it's bc i'm healthier i'm not sure it's a good thing that that stubbornness and grit is gone. is it automatically#better to seek the path of least resistance? i'm not sure.#maybe it's learned helplessness? idk i mean logically one person can only suffer so much before they learn it's better not to fight or that#fighting isn't even always possible. but i've always struggled. i've always gone head-first into these things and white-knuckled it and made#it through even if only w self-violence (which was often remarked upon as self-discipline). now i feel like i just flounder and flop and cry#like a fish w a wailing voice on the dock as it loses its breath. i really do think it's partially bc i'm sane now but somewhere inside me#that crazy flame still dances. and ik that bc from time to time i still feel the heat against the sides of the glass. maybe it's a lack of#confidence. maybe it's that ik now that it's impossible to hate yourself into a different better shape (both physically and mentally). but#it was so exciting to try. if i'm miserable regardless i'd at least rather be having fun.#furthermore it could also be that my chaos is no longer external. a lot of what i have going on is internal/physical and it's a daily thing.#fighting daily is a lot harder than fighting through my shitty relationship or that one season of volleyball that destroyed me mentally lol#(ik that sounds ridiculous but it was pretty fucking bad). i'm no longer fighting against other people or external circumstances that i feel#a need to prove myself against. i'm fighting my own body which has proven a tougher match than anticipated. bc how can i? i live here. i#cannot will my body to function. i can swim against the currents of my illness and often do. but that's less glamorous than punching walls#and running for miles like i used to. i want to break a hand. i want to run three miles in half an hour. i want to doll myself up for a#dance and spend the whole night driving w the windows down strung out on a cocktail of cortisol and dopamine. i want to live in the eye of#the hurricane again. and i never will. and it's good but i think it's made me soft.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
yippee woohoo :3
#just me hi#pfp; changed 💥#might tweak it later but mm prolly not lol#//anywho i do have a couple things i wanna talk about;#so i'm still trying to figure out how to use this mp3 player - not that i can't work it but the downloading process is confusing pfshv#cuz firstly the past couple times i've gone to use the downloader on my computer but i went to the 'backup and retrieval' thing for so i d#past the retrieval thing bc. i didn't have files to retrieve. and it was true but it Was frustrating hfsvhg#now here's the neat thing: i had somehow pinned the backup and retrieval center for the app instead of the actual app. which worked as it#was meant. but by some weird weird mistake i. Well#it was a nice discovery at least lmfsvh :)#/and also it's gotten colderrrrrr YAYY#which means i leave the window open while sleeping YIPPEEE#absolutely sucks having it open in the summer and i sleep v awesomely when it's open in the winter so Yyyyyyey :33#also means more than half of my clothing is now safely wearable YAAAY#downside. can't wear chanclas anymore <////3#i mean i could but i like to know my toes are still attached sometimes. it's just a little comforting to know pfhsvbhg#upside i get to wear my snowboots again at some point YAAAAAAYYY#man i really only wear like 2 pairs of shoes huh#also hopefully i get to enjoy winter this year cuz it does feels like getting dragged into the Lagoons by every force of nature for some#reason but i am going to glean my spirits regardless so EHEGH#//oh i also got a haircut :33 my mom is getting better at cutting the kind of style i like and i don't mind if she messes up (i would like#to experience Bad Hair please [grab hands]) but she kept measuring it and then muttering behind my head 'so that's jacked up' LFBVHS#ma you won't survive as a barber hgkfjsvk <3#//oo i've gotta poot pa toof#toodles ehe :3
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
"deradicalization is best achieved through kindness and acceptance because many radicals feel alienated for one reason or another" and "someone who is hurt by radical beliefs has zero obligation to be kind to someone who holds those beliefs" are two facts that can and should coexist btw
#marzi speaks#this isn't inspired by anything. i'm just reading a paper and thinking abt other stuff i've read/seen. i guess it's inspired in that sense#but like no specific event has occurred to make me write this post it just. happened in my brain#like. my brother fell into that like andrew tate/'self improvement' youtube channel rabbithole a couple years ago#and he's finally starting to come out of it bc my family refused to let that be his only source of input#(thankfully he kept talking to us abt it)#so we were able to tell him that no he is worthy of love and respect as a human being regardless of whatever labels he applies to himself#which kept him from self-loathing his way into total misogyny#but also. when he was really in that shit sometimes he would spout some bullshit! and i did not tolerate it#now i had the most freedom to get mad at my brother without him taking it super personally bc. he's my brother#he has a thing abt authority and bc we're equals he'll actually respond to me better#so we would argue. and all that. and i'm glad we did#bc like. just because i love my brother and i want to see him be happy does not mean i have to let him spout horrible bigoted bullshit#obvs this is a specific example. but it also applies to things like white supremacy groups or fash groups#like yes. showing kindness to these people is the best way to help them heal from these harmful ideologies#but also! holy shit nobody (especially no person of color) is obligated to sit down a KKK member and explain to them why racism bad#yanno?
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just started watching hannibal and i dont see what this guy is doing wrong. as far as i can tell he's just a gay man who loves to cook fancy meals for his friends
#Im enjoying it so far suprisingly! Im not big on crime shows usually bc all of the#A) intense copaganda#B) repetitive/boring narratives#C) graphic & often fetishistic depictions of violent crimes against women#And i mean hannibal does hit A and C-ish but the story is sooo so fascinating esp the dynamic btwn hannibal/will/abigail#They are sick and twisted#Will is interesting autistic rep as well im glad they leaned into the hyperempathy thing bc that shit SUCKS#and no one ever talks about it bc if you call yourself highly empathetic you sound like such an asshole.#but like it can genuinely be dangerous esp. for women bc it makes us more trusting & therefore more vulnerable to manipulation/abuse#I don't know how to judge the copaganda yet since ive only watched s1. So far its like.#The fbi is generally accepted as a force of good. criminals are all those regular people! And the fbi agents lock the bad guys up!#We'll add a throwaway line abt how law enforcement are among the most likely to be serial killers#And we'll have one of our FBI agents be framed for murder#but dont worry hes still one of the good guys. He works for the fbi how could he not be?!#Im oversimplifying things ofc. the characters are portrayed as flawed human beings and thus the bureau is shown to make mistakes#But as of right now the show had not explored the systemic issues w/ law enforcement#I hope this will change bc i think that would elevate the story so much#And from where I'm at in the story there's definitely a way for the story to move forward with this perspective (mostly with will's arc)#But this is american network television so. i have my doubts#Regardless it is super interesting to analyze this show (if you could not tell by my tag essay that barely scratches the surface)#lots to chew on for sure#<- im sorry i couldnt resist#hannibal
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
if someone has a crush on you how would you react? just as a hypothetical situation ha ha
#as for a real answer: if you mean it in like a someone confesses to me then depends on who it is#regardless of who it is i will b flattered and it will leave a positive mark in my self esteem#same with people anonymously confessing that#i have done some rejecting in my lifetime and it's never nice for either party. especially the one being rejected.#but personally if someone cofesses to me and i dont feel the same - the way i feel about that person doesnt change#as in. i would be ready to hop back to being friends normal style but with that information changing nothing between us#idk how to word it but it's like. i dont mind it. wow no shit ofc someone like me wouldnt mind ppl having crushes on them but like#to me it's a very. uuhh. in a certain way neutral feeling? you cant really help having a crush and im not here to make fun of you or stop#being friends or whatever the relationship might be#same thing with like. ok im terrible with people crying bc i just tend to ignore it if its a case where theyre talking but also crying#bc personally i hate it when im trying to talk but keep crying and cant get the words out bc in those cases in the past i have been wishing#the crying part would have been ignored and i would have just been listened to#but kina like that? but not at all god i dont know words are hard#im acknowledging u have big feelings and i try my best to be compassionate and take you into consideration#but i wont see it as a bad thing#is any of what im saying making sense#idk understand it or dont#if someone i have a crush on confesses to having a crush on me? mfbgmdnekfbwk 👍👍👍💝💗👍💕💞💗💖#though at that point i usually already know it and then on purpose direct the convo to that#DISCLAIMER: i do not manipulate conversations like that on the regular only when it comes to matters of the heart#that sounded worse#but like. i have never told anyone i have a crush on them unless they said it first and i give my omg i have a crush on u too#and that happens when theres a conversation that could potentially go to that and it feels like both parties feel like thatd b a good moment#anyways. hehe anon you have a crush on meee :3ccc#this will fuel me for the week#ask#anonymous
1 note
·
View note
Text
If you believe the shit my abuser says about me and use that as your reason to not listen to trans men who are vocal about our issues then you dont care about trans rights. you make all of your moves based off of drama and a desire to keep the clique pristine.
#mood#if one person makes you lose alll sympathy for the marginalized identity they have then you never cared in the first place.#i honestly just think yall refuse to hand me any stmpathy for anything i go through bc then it means you have to consider actually#that maybe perhaps i am in fact telling the truth about my experiences. which ik is so incredibly hard for yall apathetic wastes to do#yall will hold so strongly to your black and white thinking and desire to not critically think to the point of dividing the community#and that tells me everything i need to know about how you function and how many fucks you actually give about liberating trans ppl#(which is none)#no no wait- you only give a fuck about liberating yourself specifically and only give af about doing it for your friends bc they let you do#whatever you want regardless of the consequences besides all the very very mean other trans people who ask you to actually#use your fucking brain and critically think sometimes.#like. the only reason you refuse to listen to my side is because you dont have faith in your own ability to hold on to what you believe in#once provided with different information. which is good in this case bc the info i provide is true to my experiences.#but if you're so weak and so bad at critical thought that you cant view ANY opinion that opposes your own without waning on that belief#that means you actually have to do more critical thinking and actually try to think for once instead of essentially lobotomizing yourself#in any of your thoughts bc dur nothing matters 🤪 even peoples rights 🤪🤪🤪#god. what a boring personality.#nihilism with a twist of selfishness#and a desire to only ever indulge and never actually idk. do shit. bc idk. you're so hopeless so its just easier to drink away the pain ig.#literally mindless self indulgence! and you dont care about anything! how fun and unique of you and totally subversive#bc if theres anything we need rn its the younger generations to become apathetic and stop trying to soak in the things that make them feel#good than to ever actually do anything else bc it hurts bc you've been traumatized so much that now youll do anything to avoid the pain#like i get it but its not an excuse.#not saying you cant indulge ever but thats all yall ever do and its tired. gonna eat half of the world for your own pleasure. SAD!#imagine being that sad and miserable.#and stop trying and to soak*#reminds me of my dad. which makes me feel so ick inside since thats literally what my abuser is like#ig its true what they say that ppl tend to get in relationships subconsciously w ppl who abuse them in similar ways to their parents#oh and my dad was such a careless self indulgent fuck that didnt care about sexually abusing people either. curious!#its almost like theres a certain level of mindless self indulgence that becomes purely self serving and not giving an inch of a fuck about#other people in any capacity because You Need To Feel Good To Numb The Pain and thats all that matters.
1 note
·
View note
Text
“ive been persisting for a year and my 3d still hasnt conformed!” 𓆩✧𓆪
stop TRYING to get shit in the 3d! trying will not get you anywhere but experiencing more trying! remember the 3d reflects self! if you are assuming/being the one who is trying and waiting for shit to conform then what do u expect? more of that will reflect…
𓆩★𓆪 if you have been “persisting for a year,” i can assure you two things:
thing 1: you were persisting in what you dont want/fears/doubts & identifying w them
thing 2: you were not being the version of you who already has it / you were not being in the state of the wish fulfilled
thing 1: persisting in what you dont want/fears/doubts: you can have all the doubts you want, but when you identify w them / persist in them, then you flop. when u assume/do techniques, you are choosing to identify as another version of you. key word = identify ->
if i identify as the version of me who is living my dream life, does it make sense to look at a doubt and identify w it? or assume the doubt has bad meaning? no. it makes sense that i move on from it bc i already identified as the one who has it. the doubt is just there, neutral.
continuing to identify w the version of you who has it regardless of the 3d
= persisting
= applying the law
persisting = continuing to hold an idea or identity as true even when you manifest it, you will still be persisting in it because you will continue to hold it as fact. you are always persisting in something.
𓆩★𓆪 “how to not identify w a doubt?”
1) move on from it. focus on something else. ur only job is to assume it in the 4d only. if you feel lack, dont panic, feel the doubt & when ur ready, change self/states theres no need to push urself into anxiety. ur desire isnt going anywhere. relax.
2) identify as the one who has it. when u truly identify as the one who has it, any doubt would seem worthless.
𓆩★𓆪 “how to identify w it?”
assume that is ur identity already in imagination. its a simple decision. techniques are there to help to so use them to satisfy yourself in imagination, not to see 3d change. i say this because you need to get out of this 3d trap ->
3d trap = you assume you have something & feel good and then when you look at the 3d, you let that make you feel like shit
solution: know the 3d is always neutral and only you add meaning to it + know the 3d literally reflects imagination + focus on satisfying ur inner self only
sweet gentle reminder: STOP TRYING AND START BEING! YOU DUMBASS CUNT
thing 2: not being the version of you who already has it / not being in the state of the wish fulfilled. state of wish fulfilled = you know you have it already (in imagination); nothing in the 3d can change that
there are infinite versions of you (rich you, broke you, sexy you, business woman you, 100k followers you, annoying you). your job (or should i call it privilege) is to choose one version of you and identify with it in imagination and boom its done.
1. choose the version of you that you want to be
2. identify w it in imagination (via techniques to satisfy your inner self)
3. know its a fact because you just experienced it in the real reality (imagination aka inner self)
4. know any fake illusions of reality (3d) are neutral
𓆩★𓆪 in summary, if you are aware of it not reflecting after persisting for 100 years, you are saying that your senses & 3d mean more than inner self (even tho the 3d is a reflection of inner self). stop forgetting that it is all neutral. it is all inner self reflecting! CHANGE SELF!
𓆩★𓆪 the 3d is a form of inner self so it makes common sense to go to the source and change self (imagination). idc about how long youve been persisting bc if you were rly doing ur job and assuming it in imagination, you would know you are god who has whatever she claims in an instant.
from my sexy twitter thread (click da rainy cloud): 🌨️
kisses, jani 𓆩★𓆪
#etherealkissed🎀#etherealkissed#law of assumption#loa blog#manifesting#loassumption#edward art#neville goddard#4d#imagination creates reality#imagination#inner man#inner self#living in the end#master manifestor#desired life#desired appearance#affirm and persist
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Hihi Pooks, I love your writing and was wondering if you would write for a Mitsuri!reader, like a reader who looks quite weak (IS FEMALE as mitsuri is a female) but is INSANELY strong and quite flexible (which breaks the stereotype of ‘women aren’t strong’). (Helluva boss x Mitsuri!reader) reader who can eat LOADS while staying fit bc yk she’s strong and exercises regularly but could definitely rival a sin with her strength and probably could do some magic with the ‘power of love’ typa shit
yes I mean Mitsuri from demon slayer.
Sorry it took me so long to do this! I had to move, then completely forgot I had a tumblr blog. And now after somewhat of a midlife crisis I have just realized that I infact DO have a tumblr blog. So ye, I apologise for keeping you waiting for so long
I.M.P & Stolas x Mitsuri!reader
Blitzo
First of all, this dude thinks your strength is HOT (take that however you want).
He thinks you're kind, yet knows that if you really wanted to, you could probably beat Lucifer himself in a fight.
Blitzo definetly can, will and has fucked around with your whip-like nichirin sword, but will stop the second you tell him to, well if its serious, if not then he'll keep goofing around untill he manages to destroy something.
He once walked in on you eating what can only be described as a 3 course meal that would be served at a thanksgiving dinner. He is both surprised, and horrified once he finds out that it is the normal amount of food for you because of your extremem muscle density.
Once tried to challenge you to an arm wrestle match just to see how he could compare, and that day he found out that you had an absolutely insane physical strength after winning with just your pinky finger. He will do everything to hide that fact
He has definetly said some stupid threat like ''My grilfriend will beat *hiccup* your ass if I *hiccup* don't'' to someone in a bar while drunk
Moxxie
Being the most realistic out of all of the employees at I.M.P, Moxxie is outright terrified of your strength.
He can and will try to keep you happy, already wanting to hide in fear at just the thought of you having a bad day.
No matter how much you re-assure him, its gonna take a while before he actually begins to think you wont kill someone whenever you feel angry.
He thinks its both impressive and weird how that you can eat so much food without even gaining as much as a miligram. He won't comment on that tho.
He is very curious as to how your weapon works. Y'know since its metal, yet can be used as a whip.
Millie
She thinks your weapon is incredibly cool, and encourages you to use it more often.
She's asked you about how well you think you'd do with other weapons as well.
Either way will still love you, regardless of your choice of weapon <3
You two are a power couple and you can't convince me otherwise (two strong women who can and will kick the ass of anyone who disrespects them in any way, shape or form).
She loves your power of love magic, especially because part of her thinks it becomes stronger with the love you two have for eachother
Loona
This legit feels like the fandom classic of shipping the two characters who are the exact opposite.
She secretly really loves your whole power of love thing, even if she says otherwise.
Has probably jokingly asked you to punch Blitzo one time because he really annoyed her.
She will blush MADLY if you decide to pick her up and just carry her around, but if its in private, she won't complain.
She loves seeing you use your strength in combat.
Stolas
Like Moxxie, Stolas is scared as fuck.
He can and will do EVERYTHING to avoid you when you're angry.
You can convince him, that you're not going to hurt him. But the last thing Stolas is trying to do is becoming bbq chicken because he decided to approach you while you were angry, so no risks
He likes how strong you are, makes him feel safe. Mostly because you'll kick the ass of anyone who dares try to hurt him.
He was surprised when your power of love wasn't some sort of magic to make others fall in love, but is quite literally love turned into raw power.
This 100% isn't worth the wait, sorry it took me so long. But hope it was, somewhat decent, am willing to do a part 2 tho
#helluva boss x reader#helluva boss blitzo x reader#helluva boss moxxie x reader#helluva boss millie x reader#helluva boss loona x reader#helluva boss stolas x reader#blitzo x reader#moxxie x reader#loona x reader#stolas x reader
146 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can you elaborate more on what you said abt wonbin when you said “HE will be making some very selfish decisions rooted in his own Empress energy. Meaning the things and people he cares about.”
I’ve been trying but I can’t seem to understand what that means fully.
Yeah ofc!
So "He will be making some very selfish decisions" lets dissect this first.
Selfish means to do what you want without regard for others. We know that already. However, this doesn't always mean you have NO regard, it means you are disregarding either *Someone* OR *multiple someones* but not always ALL. This is why selfishness is a grey area and not always inherently bad. Most of us know this already, so just setting the tone.
So when i say this is rooted in his Empress energy, and thus this is abt those he cares about, we are talking about maternal selfishness because the Empress is a nurturer, a mother figure.
What do moms do for their kids (the ones they care abt)?
Anything and everything, regardless of the consequences. This is inherently selfish bc they are only thinking of their desire to help their family.
So what can we assume this means?
Who does he regard as his children/family/people he cares about?
What people would he have to disregard the feelings of in order to satisfy his selfish will to protect those he cares about?
He is disregarding a group of people's feelings and wishes to serve his own selfishness, which stems from the selfish desire to protect the ones he loves. He is willing to potentially hurt others emotionally by not being as kind and generous as before to them, because he sees it as an uneven give/take (6 of pentacles).
I hope this was helpful!
63 notes
·
View notes
Note
"no art is good bc it's a misconfiguration of the natural world to suit man's vanity" Is an extremely misanthropic take on art. Is humanity not part of "the natural world"? Can one not make pigments from flowers or minerals? You say that the universe would never align so that a piece of art is made without human intervention, but the universe did align so that it could be made, you just assume humans aren't part of it. I understand that this is some faux-deep shit I'm on, but I love art and while I think good is kind of useless adjective when talking about art in general, to compare the concept of art to a tumor is a pretty bad faith take. Sorry if that was like, ironic or something and I just sent a rant into your inbox for nothing.
your faux-deep shit could never reach the faux-depths of my even shallower faux-deepness.
i think the main problem when establishing this argument in the first place was saying "all art is bad" because someone asked me if i liked any bad art, and i answered using "bad" as a shorthand for "not good". if i had known i'd be getting into this pedantic of an argument about it i definitely would have changed my wording, because things that are "not good" are not inherently "bad", which seems to be where the majority of the misunderstandings of my stance come from.
i'd ask you this: what could be considered "good" outside of something that affects humanity in some capacity? to be clear, you're absolutely right, humans ARE natural, humans ARE part of the world. but the idea of something being "good" didn't exist until humans came up with it.
100,000,000,000,000,000 light years away, two planets crash into each other, each with their own forms of biological life so different from earth's that we would find it difficult to even classify it as life if we were given the chance to observe it, but that doesn't matter because we would have never been given the opportunity to reach those planets anyway under any circumstances. is this a good thing? is it a bad thing? i don't think it's either, it's just something that happened.
because "good" and "bad" are code words used to reflect the societal values of the person using them, they cannot exist in a vacuum.
so if that's the case, and "good" and "bad" only exist to us, what does it mean to us?
well, something "good" is something with objective benefit or subjective enjoyment-- but subjective enjoyment of something can also contradict the nature of its objectivity. soup can be considered "good" because it sustains us and is therefore beneficial. soup can be considered to "taste good" because someone might enjoy the flavor. but "torture" can only be seen as "enjoyable", but it benefits nobody-- even if the person doing it enjoys it. that's just them subjectively enjoying it.
conversely, something can be objectively good but still subjectively unenjoyable, like having a soup that's healthy in a way you think tastes bad! you'd still benefit from it, even if you didn't enjoy the experience. but regardless of whether or not you enjoyed it, what has the greatest bearing on something being considered "good" is its objectivity, as it's something fewer people can debate.
now, all of that being considered, what can "art" do that is objectively good, without it serving some secondary purpose? something that is objectively good can be artistically created, like a children's hospital designed by a genius architect-- but its goodness in that case would be derived from its benefit, with the subjectivity of it being something that only enhances its good.
a piece of fabric, stretched across a wooden frame and painted using colorful oils, creates no benefit objectively, it exists solely in the world of subjectivity. how can something be "good" if the only thing it does is hold the potential (not the guarantee) for a person to look at it, and enjoy looking at it?
more importantly though, is that bad? it's not.
but it is superfluous.
^ please forgive me for typing all of this. im so sorry. it's just so easy to be pedantic. i promise im not a stick in the mud and i love art, i just also happen to be someone who is personally deeply concerned with rhetorically whittling communication down to the bare knob of its meaning (XRA style).
because it is something i find subjectively enjoyable.
68 notes
·
View notes
Note
THANK YOU for pointing out that killer probably wouldn't be diagnosed with DID bc he was an adult when all the bullshit happened
As a system I am honestly kinda tired of people saying he has DID especially since alot of them can't even tell you what it means
Of course. I’ve heard from both singlets (people who aren’t systems) and systems both for and against the idea of Killer having DID/OSDD1/being a system/being plural, and as im not a system, im not gonna comment on or control how systems choose to interpret or headcanon Killer.
But I am of the belief that misinformation should avoid being spread—both of Killer’s canon (not only purely on the basis of not being true, but because if people start believing Killer is canonically a system/has DID/OSDD1 and also is a literal serial killer, that has an understandably bad rep but it may cause people to harass or spread rumors about rahafwabas that aren’t true), and of already misunderstood stigmatized disorders. It also has fantasy themes such as magic, souls, monsters, time travel, Resetting, coming back from the dead multiple times, etc.
Killer is a character involved in themes of heavy abuse (captivity, high control groups, kidnapping, labor trafficking, cult elements, organized crime, etc) and these are all elements that require nuance and care in depicting seriously and respectively—which can be hard to do while also having to keep in mind stigma surrounding the idea of “murderous” or “evil” alter(s)—because these types of abusive controlling environments very often require victims to partake in illegal or harmful acts and behaviors to survive. And this can also very easily to maladaptive coping mechanisms that aren’t easily understood or pretty.
So im of the opinion that if people want to write killer as if he is plural/system and aren’t one themselves, they should both do research and speak to any plurals/systems willing to help them out—and in the actual writing, avoid using terms associated with the actual disorders such as DID, OSDD1, alter, host, persecutor, etc.
Not only because 1. killer was an adult when the trauma and abuse happened, so therefore he’s unlikely to be professionally diagnosed with those disorders even if he shows symptoms and presentations similar to them, and 2. killer himself wouldn’t know what he has and wouldn’t use those terms in relation to himself and his experiences.
He is not in any position to seek diagnosis or treatment or support —under Nightmare and with Chara, he is surviving. He may have a chance of that with Color and the Chromatic Crew in the Omega Timeline, but again—unless this is deliberately an AU where all this trauma happened and stuff when he was an actual child—he likely wouldn’t be diagnosed with it.
So instead it’d be best to focus on his lived experiences regardless of what dissociative disorder one decides to write him with—and use the terms he applies to himself or ones he may apply to himself, such as his numbered hierarchical understanding of his SOUL and its Stages (either something he came up with to make sense of his own experiences, or something that was decided for him by external forces such as Chara or Nightmare.) and perhaps use words like “my stage(s),” “my other,” “my other half,” “when I’m like that,” etc.
And if the topic of Killer having DID ever comes up in the story, such as another character asking him or another Stage if he has it, dont feel the need to confirm it. Not only because Killer himself likely wouldn’t know, but also because he likely doesn’t exactly fit the full criteria for a diagnosis in a canon adjacent story where he was an adult when it all happened.
Of course that’s my opinion, not really important in the grand scheme of things—im not a system—but there it is. Systems, as always, can add and chime in as they wish—and correct any misinformation or misunderstanding if they want.
#canon k1ll_sans#dissociative killer#cw dissociation#cw trafficking#cw abuse#cw trauma#killer sans#utmv#sans au#sans aus#killer!sans#undertale au#killertale#undertale something new#undertalesomethingnew#something new sans#something new au#something new#killertale sans#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmares gang#nightmare’s gang#plural killer#utmv fandom#utmv au#undertale aus
54 notes
·
View notes
Note
i have literally been begging for someone to write a paige fic based on “Slut!” by TS like the parts that’s like “if i’m all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us” where reader is famous and gets like hated on for being a “slut” 💁♀️💁♀️
“slut!”
paige bueckers x female!reader
a/n: hi guys!!! sorry it took me so long to edit this and actually post it. i don’t have much to say but THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE ON THE ALCHEMY!!! i promise part 2 is coming soon!!! ps: this may suck a little but i wrote it in an hour and a half so im sorry!!! also, this hasnt been proofread bc its 6 am and i havent slept! hope u somewhat enjoy!!! love uuuu!
warnings: naur, just swearing :)
word count: somewhere around 1k-ish
-
got love-struck, went straight to my head. got lovesick all over my bed. love to think you’ll never forget. we’ll pray the price, i guess.
you had been dating paige for 5 months, now. she was the best person you had ever met, and an even better lover than you could have ever imagined. but, being in the public eye isn’t necessarily ideal, especially when you’re queer. paige was a basketball player at uconn, and you had been famous for a few years. you had been famous before you knew paige, and even before paige was famous. it’s awesome, and you love it. the lifestyle can be very rewarding and enjoyable.
but, being ‘famous’ comes with its faults. as most things do. over the years, you had developed this sort of…. title. this title being that you are some kind of insane serial-dater. it was pretty ridiculous. of course, paige loved you for you, and didn’t really give a fuck as to what people had to say about you. but, it’s still obviously hurtful, and paige gets that.
present day, the epsy’s were coming up. this is something that meant a lot to your girlfriend. and, quite frankly, you’d do anything to make her happy.
until that thing was going as her date (or +1) to the epsy’s. not that you didn’t want to, not that it was because you were gay. but, because you knew how much this could mess with both of your careers. you didn’t really care about your own, cause people are gonna talk about you regardless, but paige’s social presence made it hard to just come out and do whatever you guys want.
“i mean, i’d just really want you there. we can like…. coincide outfits ‘n shit.” paige says, looking over at you, eating a bite of her cereal.
“yeah, p. i understand.” you say, sighing. you look down at your hands, acting like you were paying attention to anything to distract her (and yourself) from the fact that you really just do not know how it would go, and that fact is stressful in itself.
“baby, if you don’t want to go, it’s fine. im just saying it would be cool.” she says, and you meet her eyes again.
you know she’s right. it would be really fuckin’ cool. but like, at the same time, you really didn’t want to have to receive all of the texts from your publisher of news articles with pictures of you and paige where they essentially just put your name in bold letters then talk about how much of a slut you are for dating 4 people in your approximate 5 years of being famous.
yes, it may seem like a lot. but, also, most of these relationships only lasted a few months. you never necessarily wanted them to go public, but, they almost always did. that’s why you and paige took extra precautions.
obviously, one day, you wanted to tell people about you and paige. but, you wanted it to be when you guys had atleast made it past the new relationship stage.
but, if im all dressed up, they might as well be lookin’ at us. and if they call me a ‘slut,’ you know, it might be worth it for once. and if im gonna be drunk, i might as well be drunk in love.
you couldn’t help but give in. there was exactly a week before the epsy’s, and even though you’d kept telling paige you really didn’t think going was a good idea, you felt so bad for saying it that you randomly changed your mind.
“p, come here.” you say, calling from the couch in your living room. she walked in the room, hands on her hips, sleeves rolled up. she was loading the dishwasher for you, as the ‘gentleman’ she was (in a world of boys, (s)he’s a gentleman.)
“yes, baby? what’s wrong?” she says, walking toward you and sitting down, resting an arm on the back of the couch behind your head. “i wanna go with you, p. ill go with you to the awards.” as you say this, you fiddle with the hem of her basketball shorts.
“you wanna go with me? seriously?” she perks up. her whole face immediately lights up. this was the reason you were doing it. that reaction right there.“yes, love. i want to go with you.” she grabs your chin, pulling your face closer to her and gently pressing a kiss to your temple.
“you know, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. i know you don’t want to read about all of the stupid shit men online say about you. they don’t even know you and it’s so infuriating that they think they can talk about my baby like that. my sweet, sweet girl...” she rubs your side, kissing your temple gently a few more times while babbling a few more sweet names in your ear.
“i know, p. but, i also know i don’t owe anyone shit, and if i want to go out in public with you, i shouldnt be scared. i mean- it’s just…. like, i don’t want to keep hiding us because of the fact that people always have some stupid shit to say. you know, if they call me a whore or if they call me a slut, it might be worth it. it may just be worth it this once.” she smiles ear to ear as you say this. seconds after this, she tackles you onto the couch, pecking all over your face as she tickles your sides.
half asleep, takin’ your time in the tangerine neon lights. this is luxury. you’re not saying you’re in love with me, but, you’re goin’ to. half awake, takin’ your chance, it’s a big mistake. i said, ‘it might blow up in your pretty face.’ im not sayin’ do it anyway, but you’re going to.
the night finally arrives. you guys are both getting your hair done. paige is wearing a lilac suit, and she looks ridiculously attractive. you were wearing a white dress with lilac heels, to coincide with her.
you guys get to the carpet, and it feels so surreal. you guys are finally out together and it’s just fucking insane. she does a few interviews, and they even ask you for your own pictures (even though you’re not an athlete)
the awards themselves are good, paige presents and even changes suits. she looks fuckin’ phenomenal.
but, then the after-party comes. the lights are tangerine and kinda dim, everyone’s drunk, and some people are even outside in a swimming pool. (???)
you had been to award shows yourself, but this was so cool. paige grabs you guys drinks throughout the night, careful not to get too wasted, but enough to get a little tipsy. by the end of the afterparty, so many pictures of you guys had been taken you felt like it was kinda too hard to hide your relationship from the world anymore.
while this wasn’t the main goal of tonight whatsoever, paige decided it was time to make your relationship social media official. she thought you deserved to be loved out loud, and honestly she couldn’t give any less of a fuck who said what. you loved her. she loved you. that’s all that mattered.
@paigebueckers
liked by kamoreaarnold and others
paigebueckers: Cats out of the bag I guess 🐈👜
view all 2,405 comments
kamoreaarnold: Photo creds on slide 3
> paigebueckers: @kamoraarnold Best photographer 🙌
yourusername: wow she’s cute who is that
> paigebueckers: @/yourusername Idiot
>> yourusername: @/paigebueckers 😁
Load more…
57 notes
·
View notes
Note
Am i blind for not seeing how Caitlyn manipulated Vi? I keep seeing this take and I don’t understand it. She hurt Vi in an inexcusable manner, both physically and emotionally by making classist implications in her anger…
But manipulation? If Caitlyn wanted to manipulate/ guilt-trip Vi into joining the enforcers or killing Jinx all she had to do was say “I had the shot” to Vi instead of her father. But she didn’t bring up the dinner at all or oil & water for that matter. In fact not only did she not blame Vi (initially) or guilt-trip her; Caitlyn blamed herself: “My arrogance led me to take on more than i could handle and she paid the price”. That’s something someone like Vi who always blames herself and takes responsibility for everything really needed to hear so i was happy with it.
I think Caitlyn’s intentions were genuinely good throughout the first episode, both regarding Vi & the undercity but she still had the same flaws from season 1: thinking the enforcers are the ‘good guys’ here and there are just a few bad apples among them (i bet she probs thinks the ones who killed Vi’s parents were just bad apples lol) ; approaching some matters in an insensitive, entitled manner (springing the badge on Vi instead of having a conversation with her first about the reasons why she thinks it’s the best recourse… well at least she apologized for that ig)
I already feel like they pushed Caitvi in a terrible direction that’s hard to come back from in a satisfying way… i think if people willfully misinterpret ALL of Cait’s actions in the worst possible light you guys really won’t be happy w the ending bc there’s a point a relationship really can’t come back from in a healthy way. I doubt even now if it can…
I haven't used the word manipulative just yet because it's a pretty touchy thing with a specific meaning, but apparently you can be manipulative without knowing. She plays on vis emotions a lot, telling her wearing a badge is how she can show that she doesn't support jinx, which just isn't true. She doesn't need to wear one to show that. I'm not gonna blatantly say it's outright manipulative but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth nonetheless. And just blatantly enlisting vi after she explicitly said no and explained her trauma around enforcers is just...bleh. maybe distasteful more than manipulative but regardless it's just icky.
And yeah a lot of people think they're doing right but are actually just awful..."interpreting her actions in the worst possible light". How else am I supposed to interpret what she's done? She undid a ventilation system that gave the undercity clean air, she enlists vi after she said no, saying its easy to hate zaunites, is ready to get jinx even at the cost of a childs life, ffs she hits vi and leaves her there, it's bad, some of it downright corrupt. Apologizing to vi for springing the badge on her doesn't negate her bigoted attitude toward her and the entire undercity, it's not vis job to prove anything to her, especially if it ultimately means letting anyone get hurt at the cost of getting jinx. She sees vi as her possible example of what people of the undercity could be, and even that's fucked up, because once vi doesn't do things the way she wants she thinks she's "no different" than jinx or any other zaunite. I don't think they could have a healthy relationship with all this. I don't even want vi around her after all that tbh. I know it's gonna happen tho so I'll just see what they decide to do
36 notes
·
View notes
Note
do u have death family headcanons....
NO FUCKING MAMES I HAD 14 OUT OF 15 DONE FOR THIS ASK AND THEN TUMBLR YEETED THEM. I'M GONNA SCREAM AND COMMIT MURDER, IDR THEM ALL. FUCK.
ANYWAY YOU BET YOUR GAY ASS I HAVE DEATH FAMILY HCS.
qPhil headcanons masterlist
Family walks, Chayanne on Phil's shoulders and Lullah on Missa's. Or they do that thing where there's one kid between them and they take either hand and lift/swing them together.
Family gardening. Missa using his reaper scythe to harvest things, Chayanne and Lullah replanting seeds, Phil going full crow brain and hoarding all the harvested crops in crates.
The kids are Phil & Missa's biggest wingmen. Lullah will lead them somewhere and then be like "Oh. Oh nooo, oh noooo my asthmaaaa" and teleport away. And then suddenly there's Chayanne with a table for 2 and an entire kitchen setup with a dinner in progress.
They'll plot "relaxation" days for Phil and Missa too. It's a toss-up if either of them actually relax though. Missa's better at it than Phil at least.
No one cheered harder about the prison kisses than Chayanne and Lullah. They wish their dads a very "do it again. Often."
Phil and Missa are constantly conspiring together about cool things to do with/for the kids. Even when they're away from each other they'll write books leaving the other a message like "shhh don't tell the kids :)"
They'll also plan days Just for one of the kids where whatever the family does is centered around their interests. It's nice for them, because although they have mutual interests and are more than willing to do whatever the other wants, they still have unique interests and it can naturally get tiring being a package deal. Especially when so many of the other eggs are only children and get doted on by their parents with undivided attention
They get separation sadness a lot bc reaper duties and Phil's extremely deep sleep/vivid dreams keep them apart so often, but their little system of leaving gifts (Missa his paintings, Phil misc trinkets) for each other works. It's not as good as a hug or quality time though :(
Everyone's passing each other's accents to one another. Missa finds himself slipping up saying "bewk" (book) or some shit, meanwhile Phil keeps saying stuff with a Spanish accent because of Missa and Lullah and everyone keeps adopting German words into their vocabulary because of Chayanne.
Phil and Missa are both good at pvp, they love sparring with each other and teaching the kids. Chayanne is way more into it than Lullah, but Lullah loves to learn regardless, and she loves hearing Phil infodump about strategy and timing and whatnot.
Missa and the kids will team up and get Phil on one of his Philzaing rants. They'll be like "what do you MEAN you couldn't physically carry all three of us on a flight? :(" and there Phil goes, raving about how weight matters with flying and safety and blah blah blah. And he KNOWS they're getting a rise out of him most of the time. Yet he falls for it every time.
One day,, one day we'll get a 4/4 family build project,,, They want to do it do bad,, So far it's just been 3/4 make it and the 4th is delighted to be shown it by the kids whenever they're around again. (August 2024 Edit: KILLS MYSELF)
Phil and the kids have started half-purposely obtaining as many birds as they have bc it's funny to see Missa come back from reaper duties to MORE birds that he just has to accept live there now.
The kids love Phil's crow murder to death (pun intended) and are used to interacting with them. Missa not so much. Which has made for countless funny moments. He's still bewildered that they're so attuned to throwing something shiny at him and then aggressively cawing. He doesn't understand them like Phil can.
Something something the four of them having a seance together where Lullah taps into her medium abilities to communicate with Kristin bc Goddess of Death is part of the Death Family. She loves to tease Missa (usually about Phil) and she ADORES the kids.
#qsmp#qsmp philza#philza#q!philza#qsmp missa#q!missa#qsmp tallulah#qsmp chayanne#qphil headcanons#qsmp death family#deathduo#qsmp deathduo#qsmp pissa#pissa
98 notes
·
View notes
Text
would i follow these obey me characters on social media? + social media headcanons
explanations + hcs below the cut:
content warnings: playful mentions of cyberbullying/death threats (reader's discretion advised)
post notifications on, loyal mutuals for life: thirteen, barbatos, mammon, satan
you cannot convince me thirteen does not have the funniest fucking twitter imaginable. she posts a lot of funny shit herself but also retweets a lot of good content too. she seems like the type to get in fights on social media and win by humiliating her opponent in the funniest way possible. probably makes a lot of jokes about fucking one or both of your parents
the barbatos one might be controversial but hear me out. i think that any account he'd run in association to his work would be dry as hell. but a personal, deeply private account? funny as FUCK. i think this man wouldn't post very often but when he does, it is quite literally some of the funniest shit you've ever seen. he's ancient, too, so i think he'd be persistent. just years of logging on to tell elon musk to k*ll himself (whiCH I AM NOT ENDORSING @ THE GOV IM JUST MAKING A JOKE OKAY WE'RE ALL LAUGHING HERE) in new and creative ways
mammon would probably post a lot about his shenanigans and that to me is worth tuning in to. i think his social media would consist of him posting about a new scheme/plan part of the way through (when things are most exciting) and then updating hours/days later with an "update: lucifer caught me and made me wear a dunce hat for a week straight" or something like that
satan would post the most normally in this category but i think he'd have some genuinely interesting stuff. he'd probably use a photo-based platform like instagram (technically devilgram but y'know what i mean) and his content would fall into two categories: cat pics and the most amazing, exclusive events you've ever seen. he'll post a photo dump of cats he feeds one week and then next is him at some gorgeous exclusive hot springs on a free trip one of his connections invited him on.
mutuals by choice <3: asmo, simeon, luke, levi
asmo posts a lot about himself, but like. c'mon. he's so pretty. and he also just posts a lot of pretty aesthetic influencer photos so it's nice to see him on your feed. he posts a lot, too, so your feed never quite runs dry when he's your mutual. he's also the type to hype your photos up in the comments like you're the only other person on the platform. lots of heart emojis and flirtatious comments on very mundane posts
simeon would be fun to follow in the way that old people are fun to follow on social media. long, sweet captions on his weekly post (that someone helped him post), cute but off-center selfies with the things he cares about, funny grandpa comments on your photos-- ex. "nice photo mc... 👍" without realizing how funny that comes off
luke is just cute and posts cute things. lots of stray animals, pretty sunsets, and cute baked goods. he's even got a few rare photos of barbatos on there looking slightly relaxed. levi made luke's accounts private when he first set them up bc he's been on too many weird corners of the internet to let that innocent angel be corrupted.
speaking of levi, he'd post a LOT about his dorky (affectionate) interests. he's one of the few that would post every day on multiple platforms. there's a pretty small chance you care about each and every thing he posts but regardless, it's nice to see him so enthused and happy.
mutuals bc i'd feel bad unfollowing: belphie, lucifer, diavolo, mephisto
belphie's accounts have all been inactive for YEARS, but if you unfollow him he does get offended. he found out asmo unfollowed him at some point and started an argument about it.
lucifer's social media is also rarely active, but anything he posts is usually at least a little important, so if you unfollow he'll know and get on you about missing it.
diavolo's account is quite literally all royal bullshit and official devildom information, but seeing as he doesn't have personal social media, he still values his friends following him. if you unfollow, his feelings will be hurt, but he'll stay quiet about it.
mephisto's account literally just posts the same lame shit that the RAD newspaper account does, word-for-word and post-for-post. unfollowing either of these accounts comes off as a slight from the feeble human that doesn't care about the devildom. his complaining is always so loud.
not following + no plans to follow: beel, raphael
beel posts exclusively about food. he doesn't run a food-themed account, that's literally all he finds interesting enough to post. he rates all of his meals after he finishes, too. fun, but not my type of content.
something in my heart of hearts tells me raphael's photos are all blurry. like he just thinks his D.D.D. camera is bad when really he won't focus the damn camera before taking a pic.
blocked, reported, cyberbullied for good measure: solomon
i KNOW this man is a menace on social media. he probably eggs on conspiracy theorists and purposely spreads misinformation. it's funny at first until following him starts filling your feed with the crazy bullshit he likes/retweets. he is playing devil's advocate on social media for the dumbest, most argumentative people online bc he thinks it's funny and it's quite literally going to drive you insane if you don't block him. when he's causing problems, he's posting stupid shit. he'd be the type to unironically post the "saw a snail today. effervescent" shit
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me swd#obey me headcanons#obey me thirteen#obey me barbatos#obey me mammon#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me asmo#obey me simeon#obey me luke#obey me leviathan#obey me levi#obey me belphegor#obey me belphie#obey me lucifer#obey me diavolo#obey me mephisto#obey me mephistopheles#obey me beelzebub#obey me beel#obey me raphael#obey me solomon
355 notes
·
View notes