#i mean it can run off raspberry milk if you want. sounds fun

[simcardiac-arrested]

what would CRM's can be like, Would it be the CREAM of the crop, just the perfection that runs off of the Raspberry flavored milk that is voidfluid?

i think she lives in the woods

[burning-clutch]

Shielded From The Truth

Cross posted on A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30441042 -.-.-.-.- Warnings: Mild wounds. Number two in the phic phight! When his parents put a shield up around Casper high to keep the ghosts out, and it means that Danny’s day hardly goes to plan. And he was so close to being on time for once too…. PHIC PHIGHT 2021 For team ghost! -.-.-.-.-.- Prompt by: Silverwing013 Danny's parents have kindly offered to set up a ghost shield generator for Casper High. Hijinks ensue as Danny attempts to handle the situation. 

-.-.-.-.-.-

Danny groaned as he only half listened to his parents rattle off whatever ghost nonsense they were going on about as he ate his breakfast. A bowl of dry cereal because the milk was contaminated and he really didn’t want to chance it giving him more than a stomach ache. This had become the norm this week it seemed as his parents seemed invested more than usual into the ghost shields that they had been working on and improving.

Why only shields? They would be installing one in the school soon… but beyond that? He wasn’t sure. They probably told him, sure, but being a teenager and one that had parents that hated half of him, had the effect of making him only lightly listen to the weapons and things that were meant to fully kill him off. That and at least the ghost shields weren’t usually a hindrance to him, in fact, they had proven themselves useful on a few occasions.

Plus he had the added advantage of being able to simply return to his human form and slip through the shield with little issue. Given his parents had no knowledge of half ghosts existing, at least he hoped not, they shouldn’t be designing a ghost and human shield. After all, that would defeat the purpose, right? It wasn’t as if Amity really had any human threats anymore.

Well, regardless of the eccentricities of his parents he could at least take some comfort in the fact that Skulker couldn’t simply attack the school to get to him any longer.

Small mercies he supposed.

Danny blinked as his father said something to him before slapping him on his back causing the teen to practically choke on his cereal from the force of the smack. “Isn’t that just great Dann-o?” the large man exclaimed happily before looking at his son expectantly. Oh great, he wanted him to ask something? Great.

“S-Sure” Danny choked out as he flailed, grabbing in front of him for the orange juice he had nabbed from the fridge, it thankfully hadn’t been in there long enough to start glowing… yet…

He shook his head as he finally got his breath back without inhaling dry cereal pieces into his lungs. When he was sure he wasn’t going to sound like some dollar store squeaky toy he tried to ask his parents a question, always a dreadful time if he were honest, but hey, he would usually be late for school anyway.

“So this will go around the whole school?” Danny tried weakly.

“Yep! And the best part is it’ll sense where there's an evil ectoplasmic entity nearby and spring up instantly! We made sure there won’t be a ghost within Twenty feet of the school before that puppy jumps up to the rescue! Like a big Fenton airbag!” Jack exclaimed all too enthusiastically for what the current time in the AM should allow a normal person to exhume.

Danny hummed noncommittally and sent a glance of ‘help me’ to his sister, who, in turn, rolled her eyes at her little brother. “And the shield even uses the ghost’s power to run the shield right?” Jazz asked side eyeing her father from her own spot not wanting to fully engage in the conversation they were having.

“Oh, yea! That’s the best part!” Jack practically cheered out.

“And the stronger the evil skum is the faster the shield will react and sooner it will be picked up. It will only go off on a level three or higher.” Maddie explained with a pleasant smile as she sips at her coffee.

“And we got it all finished last night to be ready for you kids today” Jack added happily.

“Hooray, more fun on a Monday” Danny sighed out into his last bites of cereal. Jazz snorted but didn’t comment, though Danny blew her a childish raspberry.

Jack continued to go on about the more intricate details of the shield they had put up though only one thing really caught his attention in the spiel, “-And Vladdie helped with the funding to outfit the school! Even helped us get the materials we needed to make such a large shield!”

“Ah, there it is…” Danny groaned letting his head fall forward onto the table in instant defeat.

“Danny! I really wish you would learn not to stay up so late playing video games! Look at you! If I get another call from one of your teachers about you sleeping in class-” Maddie started only for Danny to cut her off jumping to his feet.

“Yep! Thanks for that, mom! Look at the time! Love you bye!” Danny prattled off quick as could be before grabbing his book bag by his feet and bolting like a scared rabbit. After all, if his mother never finished that sentence when he inevitably fell asleep he couldn’t be grounded… she never officially gave him the last warning…

That’ll work, right?

It wasn’t long when he was out of the house that he was at his usual waiting spot for Sam and Tucker. Unsurprisingly, Sam got there first though they didn't have to wait long for Tucker to lumber forward, half asleep to his friends, and together they made their way towards the school as a unit.

Things seemed well enough until he got onto the stairs leading up to the main doors. That was when all hell broke loose. A deep alarm sounded before his father’s voice rang out from the speakers, in his over the top cheery way that only Jack Fenton knew how to pull off.

“Attention kids! Guess there’s an evil spook nearby so we’re deploying the shield! This ghost protection was brought to you by Fenton-works and sponsored by your mayor!”

Danny frowned. “My ghost sense didn’t go off…” He mentioned quietly to his friends.

“Maybe the shield sensors are more sensitive than you are?” Tucker asked with a frown.

“Since when?” Sam argued incredulously.

“Well who or whatever it is, it isn’t bothering me right now and no one’s screaming, no one’s panicking, so it can wait. I’m actually going to be on time for once!” Danny says waving the notion off.

He continues his trek up the stairs and towards the doors of the school, though when he reaches the threshold of the shield he finds himself having to really push hard against the thing. It was like hitting a wall of foam or Jell-O. He could push through if he pressed hard enough but it was not pleasant or as easy as going through the air.

Once through the initial shield wall, he blinked slowly feeling sluggish and as though all his limbs were moving through water. He even sort of felt like he was having to ‘swim’ as he walked like he was both heavier and lighter than he should be, but unable to find that buoyancy happy middle ground.

“Dude…” Tucker said smartly as he frowned at his friend’s almost slow motion, yet stop motion like movements. It was eerie, to say the least, not to mention the more pressing issue that he noticed right off the hop, “Your eyes are shining, man. And your, um… Neck...”

Sam, ever prepared for whatever bull their lives seem to throw their way, slipped her bag around to her front and offered Danny a pair of sunglasses, which the halfa put on promptly, along with the spider webbed patterned black and silver scarf.  “I mean, it’s better,” Sam argued, not even giving Tucker's look of disapproval her full attention.

“They’re spider glasses.” The boy states with a shake of his head. “Not really digging the whole-” Tucker waved his arm about Danny’s head in little circles, “-pseudo goth thing” he finished finally. Though he had to admit it was at least marginally better than seeing his friend’s glowing eyes and the electric scars showing up on his neck and disappearing under his shirt collar.

“Better?” Danny asked out sluggish, his voice almost sounding like it was being drawn out on a tape deck that was starting to lack battery power and not playing at quite the proper speed making the pitch and timing slower and lower.

Sam and Tucker shared a look before offering a thumbs up to their friend, both deciding it better not to address… whatever that was… The look they shared between one another spoke of their mutual hope that this would perhaps be one of those problems that simply go away on its own.

Ignoring the problems they have usually makes it go away… Yeah, that always works out.  

Danny makes a grab for the door to pull it open again, having that weird slow stop motion effect, like he was flickering between blinks rather than making a smooth motion forward. “Ehm, maybe don’t move around too much man… it’s um… creeping me out.” Tucker offers helpfully.

“Huh?” it took Danny a minute to process, as while he looked slow to them they seemed to be hyped up on caffeine to him… “Why are you talking so fast?” He wondered, his head almost appearing to glitch into a tilted and confused look.

“I think the ghost shield is making you go all slow motion. Just stop talking.” Sam says forcefully before letting out a shudder of her own.

Sam and Tucker share a glance before they each grab onto one of Danny’s arms and half drag him off to his locker. Despite his friends’ efforts he still got many looks shot his way, and a couple of people started whispering to one another as he passed by them.

“How is this going to work if I’m already weirding everyone out?” Danny asked, voice still sounding like a slowed record as he blinked sluggishly and his head jerked almost unsteadily from side to side. From his perspective, everyone was speeding along and talking at 1.5 times the normal speed.

“Maybe I should look for the ghost that triggered this, maybe Tuck, can you look into this mess?” Danny asked after a moment of trying to figure out what was being said around him through the noise of the hall.

“Yeah that might be best…�� Sam responded shifting from leg to leg as she locks eyes with a basketball jock who was staring at their group incredulously.

“I got you, man, I’ll change everything to present and, block any ‘call home’ recommendations.” Tucker pipped up already pulling out his PDA to set that up preemptively.

Danny nodded and let out a hum before glitching his way out the nearest exit and out of the shield’s bounds. Once he slipped back out through the barrier, strangely enough, a harder feat than it was getting in, but that wasn’t a problem he wanted to focus on, he already blamed Vlad so he would simply continue to do so until the fruitloop showed himself.

As soon as he was through the green line of the shield Danny practically fell forward in relief. That stifling feeling now gone from his core and bones making his movements fluid and normal, well as normal as a clumsy half ghost could be anyhow…

It was a moot point and not one Danny wanted to think on too long. He gave a quick “thanks” to his friends, before diving between the dumpster and the school’s bricks, transforming into his ghostly alter ego and taking off into the sky. He would do a few laps around the school and city as he looks for whatever ghost set off the shield.

-BREAK-

It wasn’t until lunchtime Danny returned looking much more windswept and all around more miserable. He entered the courtyard through the side joining his friends out on the picnic table they had claimed.  He made it over to them, flopped down on the bench next to tucker with a groan before his head smacked into the table before him.

“You find them?” Tucker asked around whatever horrid monstrosity of a sandwich he was eating, spewing bits of half chewed bred at Danny’s head.

“No” Came the muffled reply, filled with tired disdain.

“No ghost sense?” Sam wandered, flicking the bits of bread from Danny’s raven hair and back towards Tucker.

“No”

“Huh… You think it was you who set off the shield?”  Sam wondered with a thoughtful frown.

“When I went into the back end of the generator though it wasn’t supposed to go off for anything that low, Danny in human form is like a two at best,” Tucker argued spinning his PDA around to show what he’d found when he hacked into the motherboard of the Fenton’s latest device.

Danny groaned. He supposed had he listened to his parents he could have been more prepared for whatever lunacy his parents’ decided to toss his way but alas, his short attention span and teenage rebellion and lack of caring got the best of him yet again.

Joyous of joys.

He tuned out his friend’s back and forthing for a bit, wondering if he could get away with smashing the device as Phantom when Tucker had his a-ha moment of discovery. Danny turned his head and raised a brow at his friend who was furiously typing away at his device.

“You were right about Vlad, Sam”

“Naturally,” She agreed.

“Well, he had an over right line here specifically set for Phantom’s ecto- signature,” the boy states running his finger along the line of code he’d found in the program.

Danny’s mood instantly brightened at that. “So then we just get rid of that bit right? And BAM everything’s fine?” He asked. “Man, what happened to me? Why do I want to get into the school again?”

“To keep up the illusion of normalcy on this mortal plane.” Sam supplied stabbing at her salad a little more forcefully than she probably needed to.

“Eh, yeah, I suppose.” Danny agreed with a lacklustre shrug.

“There, that should do it” Tucker spoke, interrupting whatever tangent Sam was getting ready to spew off about how normalcy was only an illusion created by corporations or some other such thing.

“And just in time The bell just rang,” Danny says with a small grin clasping a firm hand onto his friend’s shoulder. “Nice one Tucker!” he cheered as the trio made their way over to the doors that would lead them back into the cafeteria.

Unfortunately, as soon as Danny’s hand hit the door handle the shield once again sprung to life, though this time, instead of simply having a hard time passing through the shield, he was thrown back across the field earning a cry from several students who were following the trio.  

“Grapes of wrath Mister Fenton!” Lancer, (of course it was Lancer) shouted out in worry, his shout even carrying over the prerecorded message containing his father’s voice. Lancer half jogged half waddled over to Danny who blinked up blearily to his teacher, eyes flashing green for the briefest of seconds before draining back to blue.

“Leave it to Fen-turd to get himself possessed.” Dash snorted from behind the pot bellied teacher earning a few nervous glances between the small crowd of gathering students. The mutterings of the students didn’t take long to start up after that.

“I’m not possessed,” Danny argued, though, it was rather hard to make said argument when the palm of his hand was burned and leaking ectoplasm from where he had touched the door.

“Course he’s not possessed! He’s a ghost himself!” Wes shouted pointing an accusatory finger at the youngest Fenton.

Danny glared. “Not the time Westly.” He muttered under his breath as he was hauled to his feet by his friends. He tried to brush himself off only to end up smearing the ectoplasm from his hand onto his jeans, leaving a luminescent streak across his thigh.

Seeing his chance the ginger jock was all too eager to point it out. “See look! He’s bleeding ectoplasm!”

“No, I’m not! It’s from the shield! it sputtered out at me.” Danny tried to protest, though even in his own ears it sounded like a weak argument.

“Really?” Wes argued and marched over to the shimmering shield. The teen waved his arms about freely in the shield’s range hopping back and forth pointedly across the line of the barrier before showing his hands and clothes were completely clean of any glowing goo. “See! Ghost!” he accused again after he did a little pirouette to show his lack of ectoplasm.

“Yeah? Well, it sputtered at Danny only ‘cuz it turned on with him in the threshold.” Sam tried to argue back glaring at the ginger, venom in her gaze.

“Well then, why don’t you just walk through the shield Fen-toad?” Dash said with a smarmy grin, ever eager to get his own jabs in and seemingly not wanting to be outshined by the ginger conspiracy theorist’s bullying of his favourite punching bag.

“Fine” He spat back bitterly and marched up to the shield with a huff.

Sam and Tucker exchange a glance with one another as Danny presses his hand into the shield again. Thankfully this time there wasn’t anything that blows him back but he also really had to try and push through the shield.  

Danny could see out of the corner of his eye Wes’s smug grin as he grunts and does his best to push through the shield. His persistence is rewarded and he falls to the ground on the other side jumping up and giving a quick ‘HA!’ as he faces the small gathering crowd of students shifting uncomfortably just beyond the shield.

Sam had a look of exasperation and she looked like she was trying to restrain herself from face palming. Tucker on the other hand had no such restraint. He was almost over eager to bury his face into his hands.

From Danny’s perspective, he simply smacked into the ground and stood back up, but from the other students’ perspectives, Danny fell into the shield but instantly slowed down, looking as though he were falling with the moon’s gravity rather than the earthly speed everyone was used to. It also didn’t really look to them like he had hit the ground, instead glitching his body back into an upright position before cheering in that low slow motion state as he had earlier.

And if that wasn’t damning enough his eyes were glowing a lovely shade of ectoplasmic green.

Wes smirked, seemingly very smug and content with himself and this development. “See told you all he was a ghost!”

“T-that’s enough Mister Weston… Right…” LAncer muttered to himself a few moments watching as Danny seemed to glitch about as he cheered before seemingly realizing something was wrong. “I think there was a procedure to depossess a student…I bet the teachers in Bridgestone don’t have to exercise their students in this manner…” He complains. Sure they had gym class and he would appreciate the pun and irony if he wasn’t so tired.

“I don’t get paid enough for this,” he muttered, ignoring the look of panic that spread across Danny’s face.

It took some doing, a lot of flailing limbs and pressing himself against the damn shield, but Danny soon was through back out and free. His eyes still glowed brightly as he stared at his classmates looking very much like a deer in the headlights. Eyeshine and all might he add.

A few of the students were snickering, because only in Amity park could one get possessed by a ghost and have it come across as though someone had merely said something embarrassing or misheard an instruction and was now staring blankly ahead.

“Er….” Danny stared at his classmates half panicked before simply vanishing from view.

“Moby Dick!” Lancer exclaimed, almost dropping the book he was thumbing through from the Fenton parents. Sure it was a ghost, and could potentially be dangerous, but it wasn’t attacking so there wasn’t really anyone panicking.

Instead, the teacher simply felt tired. “Right, I’ll call the Fentons and let them deal with this, Everyone back inside I do believe the lunch bell rang already!” the teacher called out shooing the students into dispersing.

Danny stood there invisibly and holding strong as he internally groaned. At least they thought he was possessed, that could be easily explained away but he was not looking forward to trying to explain it to his parents…

Still maybe if he gets ahead of this…

It was with that thought in mind that he bolted away into the treeline beside the school, transformed and headed off to his home landing in his bedroom only a few minutes later. He went human, back intangible and invisible came out the door, made sure the coast was clear before speeding his way down into the basement.

He just made it down the stairs startling his mother and father who blinked at him curiously, when the phone rang cutting off his mother’s “Honey? What are you doing home so soon?”

“It’s the school calling Mads,” Jack says, sounding disappointed as the large man sent a look of disapproval to his boy.

“Wait!” Danny jumped forward answering the phone and instantly hanging it up.

“Daniel!” His mother exclaimed abashedly.

“I wanna explain first! Do you know how all your stuff goes off on me? Well, the shield at school started doing that and they think I’m possessed! I’m not, it's just the… ya know…” Danny rambled off hurriedly hoping against hope that his parents wouldn’t try to send him to decontamination … again… (Thanks to his ghost half, it burned in places he didn’t ever want to burn)

“You’re possessed Dann-o?!” Jack exclaimed instantly pulling a Fenton gun from somewhere on his person and brandishing it towards his son.

Danny threw his hands up and waved them placatingly at his father. “NO! Just the normal stuff! The contamination from the portal accident set it off. I got too close to the sensor!” He says quickly ignoring how his parents seem to flinch slightly.

His parents shared a look before his father seemed to deflate, seemingly upset at the fact his son wasn’t possessed. “I thought we fixed that... “ Jack says with a frown. “But, we can’t let the school know we may have messed it up! I know we’ll just run the tests again and fix it in the night!”  

“Yeah, that would be- Wait what?” Danny blinks. Why couldn’t they just go down and fix it normally? Of course, his parents had to be weird about this too. “Thanks… Is there anything you need from me to help?”

And with those words said he almost instantly regretted it. “Well… We would really like to know why your ecto signature lines up perfectly with Phantom’s but perhaps that can wait.” Maddie offered with a small amused smile.

Danny sputtered at that, “Wh-What?”

“We set up a monitoring system so we can tell which ghosts most frequent the school… Phantom was the one that triggered the shield twice today. There actually wasn’t anything else that did,” Maddie explained with a deepening frown.

“You sure you’re not possessed, son?” Jack asked again this time sounding almost defeated in how, well, normal a volume he asked that. The hidden meaning was all too obvious especially after he mentioned his accident…

They thought he was dead! The portal killed him! And as the growing pit of dread grew into Danny’s stomach he couldn’t help but feel awful knowing they were correct in that assumption, well at least half right anyhow.

“Yeah… I’m… I’m me…” Danny managed out his voice cracking

“O-oh hun....” Maddie sniffed.

“But it’s not I… I’m me, I promise and I’m not all dead. I still have a heartbeat and everything!” Danny argued or rather tried to as his mother was quick to kneel before him taking his face in her hands as tears bubbled down her chin.

“Mom really I’m like … half at most. More human with a side of ghostly abilities ya know?”

“Oh, it’s okay Dann-o… You're still my son, I know ya are. It’s been almost a year since that accident and you’re mostly still you.” Jack said. “Just worse grades and more hormones and-”

“Thanks, guys really,” Danny sighed in relief both at dodging the potentially awkward birds and ghostly bees talk as well as the tepid acceptance he was getting. Awkward though it may be it was still acceptance nonetheless.  He was happy for it just the same.

“Maybe while we work on fixing up the shield to ignore Phantom’s signature you can tell us about some things?” Maddie asked sniffling again as she looked over her son’s face trying her best to hold herself together and not outright bawl at the thought she had killed her youngest child.

“Y-yeah… I’ve been wanting to tell you about this for a while now but, well, ya know…” Danny offered uselessly.

“I think it’s us who should apologize for that, son but maybe we can just all go get some triple chocolate fudge milkshakes and go deal with that shield after dinner?” Jack offered with a smile, ever the one to break up tension.

“Yeah, yeah… that sounds good.” Danny agreed. Well, it wasn't how he was expecting this to go, but he was kinda glad it ended up like this. Maybe now they could repair their strained relationship.

As Maddie ruffled up Danny’s hair the teen offered her his first genuine smile in almost a year.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Total words: 4245 Complete

[bearlee-giggling]

giggle marks

guess who's finally gotten around to writing something 😎 this bitch

series: steven universe future (post bismuth casual)

ship: connverse

warnings: cursing, body insecurity

taglist: it's literally just @lizzienaut lmao

---

It was a surprisingly nice day in Beach City. Temperatures in the mid 70s, mostly sunny, and according to Steven and Connie, a perfect beach day. Granted, pretty much any day is a beach day when you literally live on the beach, which Pearl immediately pointed out to them.

"Pearl that's not the point!" Steven said, excitement gleaming in his eyes. "We never have nice weather like this before June, let alone in April!"

"Yeah!" Connie threw her arm around her boyfriend's shoulders. "Plus, you could come with us and bring Bismuth." Connie and Steven grinned at each other.

"Oh all right. but you two need to go find her at Little Homeworld" Before Pearl had even finished speaking, Steven and Connie had already rushed over to the warp pad. Pearl couldn't help but smile fondly at the two.

-

It took a shockingly small amount of time for Steven and Connie to return to the temple with Bismuth. Connie and Steven had also already changed into their bathing suits as well, Connie's underneath a pair of shorts and Steven's swim trunks paired with a plain t-shirt.

"Well I see you two are ready-" Pearl once again was interrupted by the giddy teenagers running through the room and out the front door.

"Young love," Bismuth laughed. Pearl smiled too. "Well, P, we better get out there before they start having fun without us!" And with that, Bismuth scooped Pearl up in one arm and ran out to catch up with them.

Steven and Connie were already seated right along the shore, each building their own sandcastle as they tried to out-do the other. Steven grinned and nudged Connie as Bismuth ran down the stairs with Pearl nearly tossed over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Pearl! Bismuth!" Steven called out as he and Connie ran to greet them. "Where are your swimming suits?"

"Steven, you know that all gems are water resistant. We have no need for special garments to keep us from getting wet."

"Oh come ON, Pearl," Bismuth said with mock frustration. "Have a little fun!" Bismuth snapped her fingers, and her usual clothing transformed into a pair of board shorts and a tank top.

Pearl looked at Bismuth in her new attire, feeling her cheeks flush. "Oh fine." Pearl snapped her fingers and, like Bismuth, her typical clothing transformed into an elegant looking one-piece bathing suit with cutouts on the sides.

Steven and Connie looked at each other, grinning, as they removed the extra clothing over their own bathing suits. "Hey Pearl!" Connie called out. "Can you take a picture of us?"

Pearl nodded as she approached the two kids. Connie handed Pearl her phone and stood next to Steven as they put their arms around each other and smiled for the camera. Pearl looked as though she was about to say something, but Bismuth was calling her back to their little beach spot. Pearl just smiled and handed the phone back to Connie as she walked back to Bismuth.

Steven grinned and turned to face Connie. "Lemme see!" Connie handed him the phone to look at the picture. He smiled broadly as he looked at their picture perfect smiles, but then frowned as he looked at it more closely. "Connie? Is there something wrong with your phone? It looks like your screen is scratched."

Connie looked over Steven's shoulder at the picture and immediately knew what Steven was talking about. "Ohhh, no those are just stretch marks, Steven. Don't worry, they're completely normal."

Steven turned pink with concern. "Stretch marks?? What is that?"

"They basically form when your body grows faster than your skin, so your skin has to stretch along with it. A lot of people have them. I had them on my legs during my growth spurt too."

"But I don't grow taller like humans do, i just shape shift into an older form! How did i get these?"

Connie bit her lip, trying to find a way to put what she was about to say as nicely as possible. "Sometimes people... get stretch marks, especially on their stomach like you, if they've been gaining weight."

Steven, now completely pink, sprinted back towards the temple, up the stairs and through the door. Pearl and Bismuth had taken notice to what was going on, and they both looked concerned.

"Connie, is everything alright?" Pearl asked with a nervous edge to her voice. Bismuth stood next to Pearl an arm around her shoulder, looking just as worried.

"Everything is fine. Just... give us a few minutes." And with that, Connie turned to go after Steven.

-

Connie pushed open the door to the little beach house. "Steven? I didn't mean to-"

"Go away, Connie." He sounded so genuinely upset. Connie's heart shattered.

"Steven, I'm coming upstairs," Connie announced as she approached Steven's loft space. "Please talk to me."

Steven was sitting on the side of his bed with a blanket over his back and shoulders. He was staring down at his stomach, and Connie noticed he was crying. "I'm just-" Steven began to speak but was interrupted by one of his sobs. Connie felt awful.

"Steven, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you"

"No, no, it's not your fault," Steven reassured her, wiping some of the tears away from his eyes. "I'm just not used to it, that's all."

"Not used to the stretch marks?" Connie asked, a little confused.

"No, not just that. I'm not used to feeling so upset by the way I look."

"Oh Steven, it's okay to feel insecure. But I can assure you that stretch marks are completely normal. Plus now it looks like you have tiger stripes! Maybe you should go talk to Amethyst about bringing back Purple Puma and Tiger Millionare-"

Steven chuckled at that, starting to feel a little bit better. "I'm afraid my glory days are far behind me," he said with an exasperated sigh, dramatically falling backward onto his bed with a small "oofe".

Connie smiled and sat down next to him, placing her hand on top of his. "Are you feeling a little better?"

"Mmm sort of? I dunno, I guess I feel better knowing that they're normal, but I'm still worried about what other people will think of them."

"That's okay, Steven." Connie placed her hand onto Steven's stomach. "If you want to keep them covered up, that's completely your choice."

Steven let out a content sigh before he suddenly began giggling softly. "Connieeeeee," Steven whined.

"What's wrong, Steven?"

"You're tickling meeeee..."

Connie looked down at her hand, noticing how she had been tracing Steven's stretch marks with her fingers. "Oh! I guess I hadn't even realized. I'll stop if you want. But if you feel like you wanna laugh, then I can keep going."

This was a little routine they had. Whenever Steven was upset about something, as he began to calm down, Connie liked to make him laugh. Of course, knowing the important concept of consent, she always asked if it was okay. And nearly every time, Steven said yes.

"You can um... keep going if you want..." Despite how often Steven said it, he could never get the words out without blushing bright red. Connie thought it was cute.

"Of course, Steven. Any preferences?"

"Not really, just... kinda do whatever."

"Tell me when you've had enough, okay? Promise?"

"I promise, Connie."

"Good! Now let's see..." Connie was now kneeling on top of Steven's bed so she could easily use both hands. She began tracing Steven's stretch marks on both sides of his stomach. His left side was always more sensitive than his right, but Steven was the most sensitive right around his gem.

Connie always took extra care to notice which areas caused Steven's breath to hitch or turn his laughter frantic. She was overjoyed at the discovery of a new spot, about half way between his gem and his hip, on his left side. It was right where one of his stretch marks tapered off into his normal skin. Connie grinned and scratched at the spot with her fingernail. Steven's laughter rose a pitch.

"Connihihihie!"

"Yes, Steven?"

Steven didn't actually have anything to say, so he just shook his head and closed his eyes as he continued to laugh. Connie milked that spot for a moment longer before continuing her hunt for Steven's jackpot spots.

After a while of trying, occasionally going back to that one area between his left hip and gem, Connie just went back to tracing Steven's stretch marks.

Much to Connie's surprise, Steven started laughing even louder as she did this. With Steven's senses being heightened, it made sense that he was quite a bit more sensitive now than he had been at the beginning.

"Wow, Steven, I was going back to tracing your stretch marks assuming it would bring you back down to relax for a second, but this is the hardest I've seen you laugh in a while! Maybe we should start calling these your 'giggle marks'!"

Steven blushed red at the comment, continuing to cackle as Connie's fingers got closer and closer to his gem.

Connie, however, could tell that Steven was getting tired and decided to stop just before reaching the stone.

Steven looked up at Connie as she stopped, still giggling. "You're going to stop before the gem?" He seemed genuinely confused and honestly a little upset.

Connie smiled fondly. "Were you expecting a grand finale?"

"Well... yeah, kind of? I mean, that's always how you finish."

Connie chuckled. "Well if you insist..."

Steven felt his whole body tense as Connie leaned over and positioned her head over Steven's gem. Connie looked to him for permission, and as he nodded, she blew a huge raspberry right on top of his gem.

Steven all but screamed. "CONNIHIHIEHEHAHAHAH-" Steven was laughing at full volume for a full five seconds after Connie had finished. She looked down at him, happy to see that huge smile plastered across his face.

"Feeling better now?"

"Mhmmm," Steven hummed contentedly, still coming down from his giggle high. "But 'm tired now. Can we just snuggle?"

Connie smiled. "Of course. Let me go tell Pearl and Bis that everything is alright." Connie planted a kiss on Steven's nose, making him giggle and scrunch up his face. And as Connie went downstairs, Steven couldn't help but feel he was the luckiest boy in the world to have such an amazing partner.

[honeypwark]

[ Comic Books ]

  ↳ Roller Coaster era (late Jan-early Mar 2019)

       ↳ Lily has a headache. Sana and Chaeyoung offer a solution. They get boba afterwards.

m.list

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Sana laughs loudly with the other members, all except Nayeon, who just got yet another add four card from Tzuyu and begrudgingly begins to pull them off the pile in the middle. Twice sits in the living room, all of the girls playing a heated game of Uno with the card pack Lily’s mom sent her a few months ago. As more members get rid of all their cards, Sana notices Lily and Chaeyoung are nowhere to be seen. Once her cards are gone as well, she gets up to try and find them.

“-ask them to be quieter if that would help,” Sana hears Chaeyoung say quietly as she eases the door to the maknae line’s room open.

“No, unnie, it’s okay,” Lily responds.

“Lily, if you’re in pain they’ll be okay with being quieter.”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Lily.”

“I don’t want to disturb their fun.”

Sana can hear Chaeyoung sigh.

“Lily? Are you okay?” Sana asks, entering the room fully.

Sana finds Lily curled up in her bunk, facing the wall. Chaeyoung is sat beside her on the bed, soothingly running a hand over her hair.

“Yeah,” Lily says, voice muffled by her pillow.

“She has a headache,” Chaeyoung tells Sana.

“It’s not that bad.”

“Lily, you were almost crying when I came to check on you.”

“You don’t have call me out like that.”

Sana can’t help but giggle a little as she kneels beside Lily’s bed and rubs the youngest girl’s back. Her smile fades as another wave of laughter and screaming comes from the living room and Lily buries her face a little further into her pillow.

“Why don’t you ask us to be quiet, then?” Sana asks.

“You all are having fun; I don’t want to be a spoilsport.”

“She won’t let me go tell them to quiet down a little,” Chaeyoung tells Sana.

“Well, why don’t we go somewhere quiet then?” Sana offers.

“Like where?” Chaeyoung asks for Lily.

“There’s a comic book cafe not too far where we can go and read a little, get a snack, nap if you want to.”

“That’s a great idea.” Chaeyoung looks down at Lily and leans over her to try and find her eyes, “How does that sound?”

Lily’s quiet for a moment, not responding or moving.

“That sounds good,” she finally says.

“Okay, then. Let’s go do that.”

After getting ready, the three girls are ready to head out.

“We’re going to a comic book cafe,” Chaeyoung tells the other members still in the living room.

“Okay, be safe,” Jihyo says.

The three girls take the bus and then walk a few minutes to get to the cafe. The walls are covered with shelves completely filled with comic books. Down a hallway to the left, the girls can see a sign telling them where the reading cubicles are. Luckily, it’s not busy.

They pick out a few comics each then head farther back in the store. They pay for some snacks then settle into one of the cushioned cubicles.

“I feel like we haven’t spent time together in ages,” Chaeyoung says as they eat some snacks. “You’re always so busy with promoting and emceeing and going on variety or radio shows.”

“Yeah. It seems like I’m more busy promoting solo than I am when the whole group is,” Lily muses.

“How are you liking it?” Sana asks, “Performing solo?”

“It’s a lot of fun,” Lily says happily but her mood changes quickly, “But I miss having you guys around. It gets lonely backstage.”

“You say that like you couldn’t walk into some random dressing room and become friends with any group, their managers, and their stylists,” Chaeyoung teases.

Lily laughs.

“Why don’t we arrange a day to come visit you?” Sana offers. “I know Jeongyeon and Nayeon have come to see you, but we could all drop by one day if you want.”

“Really?” Lily asks hopefully.

“Of course!” Sana answers.

“A lot of us have been meaning to come to one of your music shows,” Chaeyoung says. “We’ll all definitely come.”

“Please do,” Lily says. “Our manager could drive you to Inkigayo in a few days.”

“We’ll talk to her about it,” Sana promises.

Finished with their conversation, they settle in to read for a while. It doesn’t take long for Lily’s busy schedule to catch up to her, making it hard to focus on the pictures and words on the pages of her book. She gives up after a bit and sets her comic to the side. She opts to crawl over to Sana and cuddle up next to her, using the older girl’s stomach as a pillow. Only a few minutes later, Lily is fast asleep.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Sana shakes Lily gently, “Lily flower, it’s time to wake up.”

Lily lets out a little groan but opens her eyes.

“There she is,” Chaeyoung smiles at her from Sana’a other side.

“What time is it?” Lily asks groggily.

“9:30,” Chaeyoung tells her, “You slept for about an hour.”

“Sorry,” Lily mumbles, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“It’s fine, that’s kind of why we brought you here,” Chaeyoung says.

“But we figured the others must be done being loud,” Sana says. “And we can get boba on the way home.”

Lily gasps, “Bubble tea!”

With a renewed sense of her usual energy, Lily shoves her shoes on and climbs out of the reading cubicle she’d slept in. She takes all three of their comics to put them back on the shelves as the two older girls put their shoes on. Lily is all but skipping as they leave the comic book cafe to head for the closest boba shop.

“I’m guessing your headache is gone,” Sana says, Lily’s arm through hers as the younger girl practically drags her down the sidewalk.

“Mhm, all better,” Lily says.

“Here we are~,” Chaeyoung sings as they reach the boba shop.

They reemerge a few minutes later with drinks in their hands. Sana’s is a raspberry-based boba drink and Chaeyoung opted to get peach green tea. Lily stuck to traditional milk tea flavored with strawberries. They’re quiet on the way back, all sipping their drinks in comfortable silence.

They reach their apartment building about twenty minutes later. After riding the elevator and getting out on their floor, Lily speaks up as they walk down the hallway toward their dorm.

“You were serious about coming to see me at a music show, right?” Lily asks.

“Of course, we were,” Chaeyoung says.

“Yeah, we’ll talk to the girls tonight and text our manager in the morning; we’ll come to see you,” Sana promises.

“Okay, good,” Lily says.

Any further comment any of the girls would have made is cut off as Chaeyoung opens the dorm door.

“LILY! There you are! We have to go right now!”

Lily’s personal manager grabs the girls arm before she can even enter the dorm, steering her back down the hallway she’d just walked down.

“NCT Night Night is in an hour and you’ve still got to go the salon and get your hair and makeup done then we’ve got to drive to SBS and met your stylist and get you dressed and-“

Her manager continues rattling off all the things they need to do to get her ready for her guesting on NCT’s radio show that night. She manages to look back at Sana and Chaeyoung before being hauled into the elevator and back down to street level.

“Make sure to talk to the others about coming to Inkigayo!” Lily calls to them.

“We will!” the two girls shout back.

They’re able to see Lily smile brightly at them before getting yanked into the elevator to hurry off to get camera ready.

[willowandfog]

Dramione V-Day One Shot

WOO! Dramione V-Day oneshot!

Read it on AO3 or below the cut!

Dunno how many of my peeps are Dramione fans so I’m only tagging the ones I know of, if you want to be added to any future Dramione posts let me know!

@superpixie42​ @smmahamazing​

A quiet knock sounded into the silence of Draco’s office followed by a soft feminine voice. ��Mr. Malfoy?” 

“Come in, Naomi.” He paused from his writing to peak up over his spectacles as the door cracked open. 

“Sorry to bother you, Mr. Malfoy. But an owl just arrived with this package for you. There’s no missive, I’m not sure who it’s from.” His assistant stood hesitantly in the doorway, a small brown wrapped package in her grasp. 

“That’s ok, Naomi. Just bring it in.” He set his quill down and held out his hand. He frowned at the package as she released it over to him. Looking up at her he studied her for the first time all day, she looked a little more dressed up than usual, a lovely lace red dress coming to rest just above her knees. Short black heels adorned her feet. Her fiery red hair pinned up in a delicate chignon. He gave her a small smile. “Why don’t you take off for the day. I’m sure you have plans tonight.”

“Thank you!” A huge grin broke out on her face. She made it back to the doorway before she spun back to face him. “Oh! I’ll be right back, I brought something for you.” She dashed out the door. She returned and set a small Honeydukes bag on the edge of his desk. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Mr. Malfoy.”

He gave her another smile. “Thank you, Naomi. Have fun tonight, I’ll see you on Monday.”

She gave him a final wave as she exited his office, closing the door softly behind her.

Draco took off his glasses, setting them down on the desk before studying the package. The outside gave no clues as to the contents inside. Picking up his wand he cast a few spells, checking for traps and curses. Nothing. He cautiously peeled back the wrapping, pulling out the thin rectangular box. He gave the box a sceptical look before lifting the lid. 

Two perfect squares of chocolate sat inside the box. Lovely squares of shiny chocolate, one with gold flecks on the surface, the other with a perfect fresh raspberry elegantly placed on top. The inside of the lid contained the elusive missive. With a raised brow, Draco put his glasses back on and leaned back to read the note. 

Draco,

I don’t expect that you should be surprised that you would receive a gift on Valentine’s Day, but I do hope to surprise you before this day is over. These chocolates are not normal chocolates however, they are quite special. Each contains half of a potion. I know that by now you will have sent your assistant home, if not for having noticed her outfit and realizing she had plans, then for the fact that you’ve received a mysterious package and would not risk opening an unknown package with her in the vicinity. You are an admirable man, whether you chose to see yourself that way or not, I know that you are. So here is my proposition for you, eat both of these chocolates. You will be shown a vision of a destination. Go there, there will be someone waiting for you, they will give you the next step. Follow the clues and guidance I have set up for you and they will lead you to me.

You may choose not to follow this quest, as a Slytherin I can imagine that your need for self preservation far outweighs your need to solve this mystery and take the plunge to follow an unknown path to an unknown end. To help ease this, I will tell you that I am no stranger. You and I know each other, we see each other often enough. Good luck, I hope that you will take this journey and that I will see you at the end. 

Xx

Draco sat back with a scowl, being subtly called a coward was almost enough to make him throw the box into the bin. The need to know who this person that he supposedly knew was enough to make him pick up the first chocolate. He studied it carefully, then took a sniff of it before popping it into his mouth. A small moan escaped him as the rich, velvety truffle-like chocolate hit his tongue. His sweet tooth screamed at him to grab the other square, but he resisted, setting the box to the side to finish working on the form he had been filling out. 

When the thought occurred to him that he had no idea how long before the effects of the first half of the potion would start fading, he grabbed the other chocolate and bit into it. The burst of the tart raspberry paired perfectly with the gooey sweet milk chocolate filling inside. Swallowing, enjoying the lingering sweetness on his tongue, he sat back into his chair. 

He didn’t have to wait long before images were flashing across his vision. Images of a place he immediately recognized and knew all too well. With a smirk, he rose from his chair, carefully tucking the missive into his pocket before heading for his cloak. Cloak on, wand tucked into his pocket, he apparated. 

Head tucked down against the wind, Draco walked the block away from the apparation point and into the cozy Leaky Tavern. Which was packed full of people, couples and singles alike, all out for a Valentine’s Day drink. Looking around hesitantly, unsure of who was supposed to be waiting for him, he made a beeline for the bar, figuring he would be easy to spot there. He was surprised to find an empty stool, settling himself into it, he motioned the bartender, who pointedly ignored him. Draco gave the man a scowl before the bartender purposefully moved to the other end of the bar, avoiding his gaze. With a huff of annoyance Draco glanced around before Theo sidled up to the bar beside him, a tumbler with a finger of firewhiskey in one hand. 

With a mischievous grin on his face, Theo set the tumbler on the bar in front of Draco. “Some liquid courage, my man.”

Draco gave him a scowl, before taking the tumbler and tossing the contents back. “You’re in on this? You know who it is?”

Theo chuckled, his emerald eyes gleaming. “I’m your best mate, of course I know. No, I won’t tell you. But trust me when I say, you will not be disappointed.” With a firm pat on the back, Theo turned and disappeared into the crowd. 

Draco watched him go, considering chasing him down and getting answers from him. But when he turned back to the bar, the empty glass was gone and in its place was an envelope. With a quirk of his brow, Draco picked up the envelope, glancing around again before opening it up. Inside was a subway pass, with a note, Train 115, leaving in 10 minutes. Go.

Draco jumped from his stool and dashed for the door. He was almost running to the apparation point and managed to remember that he was apparating into a muggle area a moment before he left. Appearing in an alley somewhere he knew there was a subway nearby. He jogged to the area, stopping an elderly lady to ask her where he could find the 115 train. He was luckily nearby where he needed to go, thanking the lady, he ran. At the bottom of the stairs, he paused to look at the signs and watch the muggles scan their cards to get through the turnstiles. Following suit, Draco made his way through. Shocked, he found himself on the correct platform just as the train pulled in. Shuffling his way onto the train with the rest of the passengers, he found a seat. 

Muggle transportation, huh? Most likely not a pureblood witch then. He let out a relieved sigh. Good.

When the train came to a stop, some of the passengers began flooding out of the car but some remained. With no instruction to guide him and not knowing whether to join the group leaving or stay with the remaining people, Draco stood and shuffled out. Looking around he spotted a familiar face near the stairs leading up to the street. With a smirk and a shake of his head he made his way to the tall, dark skinned man. 

“Wasn’t sure if you were gonna make it.” The deep voice of Blaise commented at Draco’s approach.

“Looks like all my friends are in on this. This some stupid prank of Theo’s?” With a chuckle and a shake of his head, Blaise led the way up the steps. “Who’s the mystery witch then?”

“Not going to get those kinds of answers from me, mate. Let’s just say it’s a witch that knew your Slytherin ways would be put more at ease knowing that your friends are here to help guide you in the right direction.” Blaise gave Draco a sidelong glance. “And so you’d know that you have all of our support in the end.”

Draco’s head snapped in Blaise’s direction, brows drawn together. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

With a shrug, they reached the top, and Blaise turned to lead him down a busy street. The bustling muggle shopping area was packed with people. Some carrying packages and gifts, a few couples just strolling arm in arm. They continued in silence, coming up on a small market set up on a side street, Blaise led him past the pop tents, most vendors peddling sweets and flowers for the holiday. 

Draco thought he spotted a familiar head of curls in the crowd that was passing by; he turned his head to look through the group, trying to find them again. His observation was interrupted by a small force barreling into him. Draco whipped his head around in time to watch an armful of fluffy objects fly into the air and a small squeak of surprise to reach his ears as a little girl with long blonde hair tumbled to the ground. 

Scrambling up, the girl began picking up what Draco now saw was stuffed animals. He knelt, helping the girl to pick up her soft prizes. 

“Sorry.” She said softly. “Hard to see where I was going while carrying all these.” 

He rose. “No problem. Just be more careful. Wouldn’t want you getting hurt. Are all of these yours?” He questioned as he handed her the last one.

“Yeah, there’s a small game tent down there at the end.” She pointed in a direction behind her. “I spent all my allowance winning these! I’m a collector!” She beamed proudly at him. “Thanks for your help, mister. Sorry again for not watching where I was going.” The little girl looked through her pile, before plucking one of the objects out. “Here, I want you to have one.” With a smile she thrust it into his hands then took off through the crowd. “Bye!”  

When the girl was out of sight, Draco turned his attention to the object in his hands, he almost shook his head at the small stuffed green dragon with gold sparkly wings in his hands. With a raised brow he looked to Blaise and held up the dragon. 

“Not a coincidence I take it?”

Blaise shrugged. “All I know is where to lead you and leave you. Come on.” He continued past the tents and into a dimly lit alley. At the end an elderly man with round spectacles sat on a stool next to a steel door. He hobbled to his feet as Blaise and Draco came closer. 

“Ah. Mr. Malfoy, finally arrived I see.” The old man croaked before holding out a wrinkly hand. “I require payment for you to go forward.”

“Seriously?” Draco drawled looking at Blaise. “Some witch just looking to get some of my galleons then?”

One corner of Blaise’s lips twitched up as Draco drew a small bag of coins from his pocket to hand over to the man. The old man flinched his hand back before Draco could set the sack in it. 

“I don’t want money.”

Draco dropped his arm, confused. “Then what is the payment?”

“I’m sorry to say that it’ll be a bit more costly than your galleons, in which you have abundance. Something that was given to you by another will do.”

Draco hesitated, his hand going to rest on the small dragon tucked into his pocket, it becoming clear as to why the little girl’s run in had been orchestrated. But the thought of handing it over made his stomach turn, even if it had been planned and set up by the mystery witch, it was still the only gift given to him by someone who just saw him as a man, not an ex Death Eater monster. Pulling his empty hand from his pocket, he began removing his cufflinks. He set them into the old man’s palm and met his gaze.

“These were a gift from my mother.”

Blaise grabbed his shoulder. “Draco, man. Just give him the dragon.”

“No. I want to keep that. I have lots of cufflinks, it’s fine.”

Blaise frowned at him. “Well I’ve led you to your door, I have my own date waiting on me. Good luck in there, let me know how all this goes.” He apparated away. 

The door beside the old man swung open, and the man waved his hand towards it. “Just be warned, you will not be able to leave through this door, you will have to go through the other inside.” 

Draco nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets and entering the dark room beyond the door. The door snapped shut with a loud thunk behind him, leaving him standing in darkness. A few intense moments passed before overhead lights began to flicker on. The room was mostly barren, with a small table and chair in the center of the concrete floor, and a small bookshelf with a dozen books resting near one of the white walls. 

Turning back to the door he came through, Draco tried to pull it open, with no luck he pulled out his wand and tried using a spell to open the door. With no luck he tried several more, even tried blasting the door, nothing happened. With no choice he turned to the other door, it too would not yield, to brute strength nor spell. 

With a sigh Draco studied the room, with eyes drawn back to the shelf, he approached it, glancing over the titles. None popped out at him as particularly interesting but palmed one anyways. Flipping through the pages, he noticed a few highlighted passages, but closed it and set it back on the shelf. He turned to observe the room again, studying the walls and ceiling, half expecting someone else to come into the room, there had always been someone to guide him thus far. He picked up another book and casually looked through, pausing when he noticed that like the other book, this book also had some highlighted passages. Taking the time to read through the passages, Draco’s drawn brows slowly began to move up in surprise. 

He grabbed the other book he had picked up from the shelf and took both to the table and sat down in the chair. Flipping the other book open he read through the highlighted passages. He wandlessly levitated over the rest of the books from the shelf while he was reading. He poured through all the books, finding each one contained highlights. The more he read, the more understanding began to set in. 

“Bloody…” He whispered, looking around the room again. “Wish I had some-”

He cut off when a stack of parchment and a self-inking quill appeared on the edge of the table. “Well… I’m either being watched or there’s some very intuitive magic in here.” He glanced around the room again before picking up a sheet of parchment and the quill. 

Carefully reading through each passage and taking notes, Draco had no idea how much time had passed before he felt like he had figured everything out. Setting the quill down, he dropped his head into one hand and shook his head. He felt the grin spread over his face as he chuckled. “Bloody brilliant. This witch is bloody brilliant.” The pages had cleverly shown him how to cast a new spell when pieced together correctly. 

As he stood from the table, he pulled his wand from his pocket. He practiced the movements of the spell for ten minutes before he felt comfortable that he had it down. Turning to the door, he went through the motions again, murmuring the incantation alongside it. Draco held his breath for a long moment before there was a loud, echoing click from the door. With a cocky smile, he yanked the door open. Pocketing his wand, he stepped through, into another large white room, a large red partition screen the only object inside. Frowning, he went to inspect the screen. 

When he circled around to the backside, he heard the door click shut. Stepping around to peak out at the door. Pansy stood there, wearing a tight navy blue dress, the plunge of the neckline exposing the tops of her breasts and the sharp points of tall heels stuck out from under the fabric. Her black hair was in a straight, smooth bob, and a spiked gold necklace adorned her neck. 

“Pansy?” His disappointment filled him and his heart sank. “You’re the mystery witch?”

“Were you expecting someone else?” She questioned, raising one groomed brow at him. 

“No offense, Pans. But I was hoping for someone else.”

With a burst of laughter she snapped her fingers, a long garment bag appeared in one of her hands, a pair of dragonhide shoes in the other.  “Put these on.” She held the items out to him. 

With a grimace he stood his ground. “Sorry, Pans. I don’t think this is such a good idea.”

Pansy rolled her eyes at him, closing the distance between them, she thrust the items into his arms. “I’m not your mystery witch, you dolt.” With her now free hands, she gestured to herself. “All of this sexy goodness is for Blaise. I have to meet him for our date after I’m done with you.”

Hope returning, Draco stepped behind the screen and began to change. Unzipping the bag, he looked over the tux inside, he brushed his hand along the front of it. “Muggle attire?” He questioned out loud. “This is nice, who made it?” He asked Pansy as he started stripping down. 

With a snort, Pansy replied. “Your tailor of course. Nothing but the best for Draco Malfoy.”

Draco poked his head around the screen to look at her. “This witch went to my tailor and asked him to make me a muggle tux?”

“Ballsy right? Apparently the witch can get almost anyone to do anything.” She shrugged one shoulder and continued studying her nails. “Stop staring at me and hurry up, you’re not the only one with a date waiting.”

Quickly dawning the suit and then slipping into the shoes, he shrank the dragon and tucked it into his pocket alongside his wand. Coming around the screen with a raised brow, he looked to Pansy. “Missing a few things isn’t it?”

With a nod Pansy drew her wand. A bowtie appeared around Draco’s neck, she leaned forward to straighten it out. Taking a step back she studied him, moving her head from side to side she waved her wand again, replacing the bowtie with a slim black tie. 

“Yup, tie it is.” She moved up to tighten the tie. Waving her wand once again, a small box appeared in her hand. “Your witch thought you might also need these.” She handed the box over to him. 

Confused, Draco lifted the lid to the box, inside resting on a pillow of velvet were two matching platinum cufflinks, engraved with his initials. “But…” He looked up at Pansy. “I was wearing cufflinks, how could she have possibly known that I would need...” Realization dawned that this witch knew him better than he would have thought. 

“Have you figured out who she is yet?”

“I don’t know for sure. But I sure as hell hope it’s who I think it is.” He commented as he pinned the cufflinks into place.

With a smirk Pansy handed him a small envelope. “Here’s an address, just in case you haven’t figured it out. Now I’m off to see a man about a date.” She vanished. 

Left to study the envelope, Draco considered opening it, just to be sure. Suddenly knowing that even if he was wrong, he would forget this mystery witch and go to the door of the witch he wanted to spend the evening with. No matter if the mystery witch was her or not, Draco Malfoy was going to spend Valentine's evening with Hermione Granger. He tucked the unopened envelope into a pocket and apparated away. 

He walked the couple blocks of the muggle neighborhood in contemplation. Many of the signs pointed to the witch being Granger, the muggle transport, enlisting the help of his friends, the damn riddle of a spell, the subtle hints of things that showed how well the witch knew him. He sighed, hoping he was right but also hoping if he wasn’t that Granger would be willing to spend the evening with him. Or… Merlin forbid that she wasn’t already out on a date. 

Draco stood across the street observing the tall apartment building. Tucking his hands in his pockets to hide their tremble, he strode across the street and approached the entrance. As he neared the doorman swung the door open for him. 

“Mr. Malfoy, good to see you.”

Draco stopped giving the man a questioning look. He had never been to Granger’s apartment before and nor had he ever seen this man. “You know me?”

The man gave a light bob of his head. “I was told to expect you, follow me please.”

The shorter balding doorman led Draco across the modest entry to the elevators. With a press of the button, the doors swung open. The man gestured for Draco to enter, when he did the man held the doors open but leaned in to press a button, the floor lighting up after a swipe of a keycard across a panel inside. The doorman stepped back, letting the doors slide closed, a knowing smile on his face. 

Draco stood nervously still in the elevator, eyes glued to the floor numbers increasing, sweaty palms still stuck firmly in his pockets. When the seemingly endless elevator ride finally came to a halt with a loud ding, the doors parted to reveal the roof. Stepping out and allowing the doors to close behind him, Draco took in everything around him. There were strings of lights strung across overhead and lining the roof’s edge, giving the area a soft glow. There were several comfortable seating areas throughout the space but in the center of all of it, separate from the rest, was a small round table. An intimate setting with a chair on either side and candles, two gleaming silver plate covers, and an empty champagne flute resting atop. 

But what drew Draco’s full attention was the witch leaning with arms crossed resting against the edge of the roof’s wall, a half full champagne glass rising to her delicately painted lips for a small sip. Setting her glass down on the edge, she slowly turned to face him. Hermione wore a vibrant emerald green satin dress with a thin strapped V neckline. A wide band fitting around her midriff leading to the wrap style flowy skirt which contained a large slit revealing her smooth legs made longer by her tall black suede Jimmy Choo’s. While her barely there makeup was soft, it was obvious she had tried to tame her curls into delicate waves that flowed freely down across her shoulders, but it was slowly becoming more wild every moment that passed by. 

“Draco.” Her breathy whisper drawing his feet into motion, taking long strides to reach her side. Her eyes roamed over his face, taking in every detail, studying him for some reaction. She cleared her throat and glanced away when he didn’t speak. “I hope this isn’t too disappointing for you.”

With a frown Draco withdrew the unopened envelope from his pocket and set it beside her champagne glass. “I thought it might be you, and I hoped it would be. I didn’t open this because I was determined to come here to spend the evening with you whether you were the mystery witch or not.” 

She looked at the envelope for a long moment before turning her eyes back to his. “I’ve been waiting.” She whispered.

Draco knew the depth of her words went far beyond talking about tonight. “I know.” He took her elbows in his hands, pulling her a little closer. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t here sooner.” He spoke softly. “And I’m definitely not going anywhere now.” 

Pulling her so she was flush against him, he wrapped an arm around her waist, the other gently stroking her cheek with his knuckles. He cupped her cheek momentarily before sliding his hand around into the tangle of curls at the nape of her neck and pulling her in, his lips tenderly pressing against hers. 

When she grabbed his lapels to hold him close, he pressed his lips more firmly against hers, deepening the kiss with a graze of his tongue against the seam of her lips. When she opened up for him, he tried to convey everything he had been feeling towards her over the past year, hoping she would understand.

Hermione pulled back with a shuddering breath, earning a smirk from Draco. He pulled something from his pocket and took her hand to rest the object in her palm. With a wandless wave of his hand, he enlarged the stuffed dragon. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Granger.”

[kingdomofallthehearts]

The New Girl in Town

SoKai Week 2020 - Day 2 - First Meeting

Synopsis: The teacher introduced a new girl and for some reason Sora can’t help but notice her.

Featuring: Sora, Kairi, Riku, Selphie, Wakka, Tidus

Prompt for the Day: First Meeting / Unseen Adventures

“Alright children, I’d like you all to give a warm welcome to our newest friend.”

Standing beside the teacher was a petite girl wearing a white dress with big purple flowers along the trim. She had shoulder length hair the color of fresh raspberries and her eyes were bluer than the sea surrounding the islands.

“Her name is Kairi. She’ll be staying with us for a while, so be nice.”

Before Sora even had a chance to introduce himself, a bubbly brunette in a pair of yellow overalls and a white t-shirt ran over to greet the new kid.

“Hi Kairi! My name is Selphie. Let’s get along!”

“That’s Selfie for you,” a voice said from behind, disrupting Sora’s thoughts. “—Woah, Riku! You snuck up on me!” “Did not. I was here the whole time. You were just too busy staring at the new girl to notice, which is very rude by the way.” “—I…I wasn’t staring! I was just… listening to the teacher! Yeah, that’s it!” “Whatever you say.” The young boy with silver locks gave a knowing smirk, but he opted to drop the argument. After all, he was a year older than Sora. He had to be the bigger person. The more mature of the two, which annoyed Sora to no end. Usually, he’d push back against Riku’s apathy, but a fit of giggles from the two girls distracted Sora from any feelings of irritation.

“Hey Riku, do you think that’s the girl living at the mayor’s house?” Riku made mention of such a girl earlier when the two were playing at the secret place. In fact, they planned on visiting later that day, but once they arrived at the mayor’s house there was a maze of long legs blocking them from reaching the front door. They opted to try again on a day that was less crowded, but never got around to it.

“It has to be. It’s not like we get many visitors. And what are the chances of two girls our age moving here at the same time?” He was right. That’s Riku for you. He always had an answer to everything, even when speaking to the adults! Sora was proud to have him as a best friend.

Another fit of giggles erupted from the two girls. What are they laughing about? Sora didn’t understand girls at all. Selphie was the only girl around Sora’s age, but she never wanted to do anything fun! She wasn’t interested in racing to the shack or swimming in the water or playing with swords. All she wanted to do was talk and build sandcastles. Boring. Yet Sora couldn’t peel his eyes away from the girl with bright red hair. Kairi, was it? There was something different about her.

______________________________________________________________

After pre-k, the children made a habit of rowing to the play islands. When they were younger, they could only go to the island when their parents were available. But with Riku and Wakka being the oldest of the group, they convinced the parents to trust them. Well, Riku did most of the convincing, but it worked nonetheless.

Sora and Riku just finished an incredibly heated race and needed to take a breather. As they were catching their breath, a pair of sandals approached them.

“Hi there!” “—H…hiya.” The new girl?!? What is she doing here? “Hello. It’s nice to meet you,” Riku cut in, “I’m Riku and this shorty is my best friend Sora.” “Hey, my mom said if I drink a whole lot of milk, I’ll be taller than everyone! I bet I’ll even be taller than those trees!” “That’s impossible.” “No it’s not!” “Yes it is.” “No—“ Suddenly a burst of the joyful laughter Sora heard before erupted from the new girl. It sounded like… well Sora didn’t know what it sounded like. He just knew that hearty giggle made him feel all tingly… in a good way! Riku must have felt something too, because that infectious laughter had the both of them smiling ear to ear. “My name is—“ “Kairi, right? We heard the teacher introduce you earlier.” So Riku WAS paying attention. And he had the nerve to poke fun of me for watching her interact with Selphie. “—Wait a second, weren’t you hanging out with Selphie?” “Yup. She introduced me to Tidus and Wakka, but then they started arguing, so I decided to see what you two were up to.” And lo and behold, Sora and Riku could make out an angry Selphie frantically shaking her finger at an equally angry Wakka and a defeated looking Tidus. “So, what are you up to?” “We just finished a really intense race! You should’ve seen my victory!” “Don’t you mean my victory?” “No way! I totally got here first.” “No you didn’t.” “Did so!” “Did not.” “Did—“ Suddenly Sora could feel those unfamiliar blue eyes watching him. He didn’t feel like arguing anymore. “I… It doesn’t matter,” Sora conceded to Riku’s shock. That was usually his job. “Kairi’s here now, so let’s ask what she wants to do,” Sora said as he turned to face her with a wide grin. “What… what I want to do?” “Sure! Let’s play together!” “Hmm…” Kairi carefully considered their options. The boys looked pretty tired from their race, so that was out of the question. And nobody brought a swimsuit, so they couldn’t go swimming. What to do? What to do? Her bright blue eyes grew even bigger as inspiration struck. “How about we build a sandcastle?” she asked with confidence. “That’s a great idea Kairi,” Riku concurred. Sora, however, immediately regretted asking Kairi for her input. “Ye—yeah,” he managed to choke out. Sandcastles. How fun.

______________________________________________________________

The three sat on the wet sand ready to get their hands dirty, when they were startled by loud shouts coming from the opposite end of the island. Whatever argument Selphie and Wakka have gotten into has clearly escalated. And poor Tidus was caught in the middle of it.

“You guys can get started without me. I better see what’s going on.” That’s Riku for you. Always the responsible one. But in this case, Sora wanted to go instead. Anything was better than building sandcastles. However, Riku was already halfway across the island before Sora could protest.

Kairi picked up a nearby bucket and started filling it with sand. She never made a sandcastle before, but she knew what castles looked like! Or at least, she had an idea of what castles looked like. Kairi wondered what it would be like to live in a castle, but quickly pushed the thought out of her mind when it was time to flip over the bucket. She slowly lifted the compacted pail and… “Perfect!” she thought. She lifted her head to see if Sora was admiring her work, but found him pushing around sand with a stick looking unsure of what to do.

Oh no. He doesn’t look like he’s having fun. Was this a bad idea? Kairi was starting to doubt her decision until she spotted a shovel next to her foot.

“Here.” Kairi handed the plastic yellow shovel to Sora. “You can dig the moat.” “The moat…” Sora repeated, “what’s a moat?” “It’s a giant hole filled with water that goes around the castle.”
 “Why would you want a giant hole filled with water around a castle?” “To protect the princess! You fill the hole with piranhas and sharks and uh… jellyfish so bad guys can’t capture the princess!” “Castles have piranhas and sharks and jellyfish!?!?” Sora was starting to think maybe sandcastles weren’t as boring as he once believed. “Of course! They also have traps that are meant to capture any enemies who dare to enter. And if a bad guy somehow gets passed the moat and the traps, he would have to fight against a lot of strong knights.” “Woah! Knights! What are we waiting for? We have to help them!” Sora jammed the shovel into the sand as fast as possible to create a moat as deep as the ocean. “Do you like knights, Sora?” “Obviously! Knights are the coolest. They wear shiny armor and use weapons that can take down dragons and are the strongest people in the world!” “Hehe, if you like knights so much Sora, you should be one!” “Re—really?” Sora wasn’t sure why, but he suddenly felt embarrassed. “Th-then if I’m a knight, you have to be the princess.” “Oh—okay.” Kairi was suddenly feeling hot. Must be the island weather. She wasn’t quite used to the heat. “Alright!” Sora’s previous embarrassment was replaced with a newfound enthusiasm. “Don’t worry Kairi, I’ll be the toughest knight around. Nobody will be able to defeat me, not even Riku! I’ll protect you from all the bad guys.” “Then, I’ll protect you too!” Sora’s enthusiasm was rubbing off on the redhead. “What? Princesses don’t protect knights.”
 “Why not?” “I’m—I’m not sure.” “Then I’ll be the first.” She beamed at Sora and he smiled back just as wide. If Kairi has the power to make building sandcastles fun, who knows what else she can do? I should ask her to play tomorrow and the next day and the next day and the day after that! We can run and swim and build sandcastles and… who knows? Maybe I can even show her the secret place.

Sora looked up and watched Kairi concentrate on stuffing her bucket to the brim with sand. Almost on cue, she raised her head to make eye contact and let out that whimsical giggle Sora couldn’t get enough of. He definitely wanted to show her the secret place.

As the day turned to dusk, Sora and Kairi worked tirelessly to build an incredible sandcastle. They wanted it to be perfect. After all, they had a promise to keep. It would only be later in life that the two would learn a knight and a princess don’t need a castle to protect each other.

______________________________________________________________

Notes: Behold! Prompt #2! Featuring an original story this time :D But in all seriousness, thank you for the likes and reblogs on my last post (and the tags... I’ve enjoyed reading them :p) I do have something in the works for tomorrow’s prompt so hopefully I’ll finish in time, but who knows. Anyway, I hope everyone is enjoying sokai week as much as I am!

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

"Everyone in this house is sick" with crime family

I love six (6) idiots, and this is the last day I can post a crime family fic before a canon Dynamic is established for them. 

25.: Everyone in this house is sick. 

(I’ve never written from Buddy’s POV before, so this was really fun!)

~~

“I wanna die.” 

“Don’t be defeatist, darling.” 

“I wanna.... ng.” The blankets shuffle as Vespa rolls over. “Go into a coma.” 

With a sigh, I let her cuddle against my side and wrap an arm around her waist. It was not in any of my plans for the entirety of our crew to come down with illness at the same time. Really, if I were able to plan for this sort of thing, this would be positively the last time I would pick. But fate doesn’t care at all for our timing, as Jet feels the need to remind me. 

He’s here too, lying across the couch. Rita had the idea that we should all “crash” here in the rec room. “If we’re gonna be sick, we might as well all be sick together and have fun”, was her exact phrasing, I believe. So now here we are, with Vespa and myself on our air mattress, Jet stretched out on the couch that is really too small for him, Rita in a nest of pillows and blankets she dragged in, and Juno passed out across Nureyev’s lap on the loveseat. 

“This is absolutely my FAVORITEST movie!” Rita chirps as she pulls the next segment of our movie marathon up. 

“You said that about the - achoo! - the last one, darling.” 

“Yeah, but I MEAN IT bout this one, Captain A! This one is for sure the best!”

“Does the acting quality improve with this one?” Vespa grumbles from under my arm. 

“It sure does - it gets EVEN - ch! - BETTER! They take the actin’ from a 100 to a 7000! Ain’t that amazin’?”

Vespa groans loudly. “Nureyev, how many sleeping pills do we have left?”

“Juno finished them off, I’m afraid.” Nureyev runs his fingers affectionately through Juno’s hair as the lady snores away against his chest. “We don’t have another bottle.” 

“Fuck.”   

“Don’t worry, Miss Vespa, I think you’re really gonna like this movie! Promise!” Rita snuggles deeper into her blanket, grinning from ear to ear. I simply reminds myself that, for the outstanding work she does, it’s almost worth watching these films. “Gosh, this is so NICE! All of us just hangin’ out as a family and watching a movie together! Makes me kinda glad we got sick, in a way.” The joy in her eyes makes me smile. I’ve grown somewhat fond of this Martian hacker, and her innocence in the face of all we go through. 

But then the voice on the screen bellows, “MERMAIDS SWIM IN THE VOID OF SPACE” followed by the now-familiar guitar riff that Rita describes as “epic”, and the smile drops. 

We collectively endure “Void is the Ocean” for a half hour or so, disturbed occasionally by the sounds of loud sniffling or Rita squealing in delight. At the movie’s one-third point, she pauses it and turns around. “Hey, you know what I want?” she says. “I could really go for an iced raspberry coffee slushie! Nothin’ better than seein’ a movie with friends AND refreshments!”

“You are sick,” Jet reminds her. “You cannot go buy iced coffee.” 

“Okay, well, maybe I could order it remotely an’ have a delivery drone bring it to us! We’re parked on a planet right now, we should take advantage of that. We really don’t do that all that often, ya know?” 

“I’m not sure that’s advisable, darling,” I say. “We can’t afford to give away our location to a delivery drone. With all the stolen merchandise we have aboard -”

“Okaaaaay, so I’ll hack it! Then nobody’s gotta pay for it AN’ it won’t give away our location!” She folds her hands on the side of the air mattress and looks imploringly into my eyes. “Pleeeeeeeease, Captain A? Pleeeease can we all have coffee an’ snacks together?” 

And there’s something so sweet about this young lady, even if she is the reason I’ve had to endure five movies of the “Void is the Ocean” saga. Oh, why not? I suppose it’s just good that she’s so willing to commit a crime. “Very well, darling. You can get me a large cappucino, hazelnut. A croissant would be lovely, too.”

“GREAT!” Rita excitedly opens the notepad on her comms and taps in my drink like a waitress. “Aaaaaand Ms. Vespa? Whaddaya want?”

“Medium espresso.” Vespa grumbles from under the covers. 

“A medium coffee with a shot of espresso?”

“Medium cup.” She pulls the covers down. “Full of espresso.” 

“That ain’t health-”

“If I’m going to be awake, I am going to be awake,” Vespa snarls, and Rita squeaks and types it into her comms. 

“O-okay! An’ for you, Mistah Big Guy?”

“I will have a large tea. With two sugars. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome! An’ I know how Mistah Steel likes his coffee already, soo.... that just leaves Mistah Nureyev!”

“Get Juno a large,” Nureyev says, still stroking Juno’s hair. “He’ll complain, but he needs it. I’ll have a medium vanilla chai latte with extra vanilla, but as little foam as possible, with soy milk instead of lactose. And honey, not sugar. That’s quite important.”

“I’m... gonna need ya to repeat that a few more times.” 

He does, until she finishes and hops up. “Okay! I’m gonna take this to our main system and hack a drone from there, an’ then we can all have our drinks! Gee, this will be fun, I ain’t ever piloted a drone before. Be right back!” 

She skips away, comms in hand. The four of us look at each other. 

“All in favor of turning off the movie while she’s gone?” Nureyev asks. 

I grab the remote. “I second.” 

[etherealgoddessblog]

Chan of Stray Kids: Love at First Sight

I rush to the town swimming pool, afraid of the wrath of my waiting friends. I peer around and I realise that I was the only one there. Just then, my phone rings - it is my friend, “Dude, we are bailing out. Let’s meet up next week, same time.”

Are you kidding me? Here I was, at a pool with a bunch of crying kids. I absolutely hate sunlight and getting chlorine in my hair so I rarely came over here. I could have gone back home but I decided to stay. I didn’t come here for free. Might as well make the most of it. I change into my red Polka Dot bikini in the dressing room. I may be alone but I definitely look like a snack. Too bad there are only kids in the pool today. My friends promised that there’d be some tasty-looking guys here. I tie my hair into a cute top knot and set out to swim. 

Those kids do not even glance in my direction. Even the parents don’t pay any attention to me. I realise that I am not the centre of the entire universe as I splash in the swimming pool. The kids are good fun to be with. We play slow motion ballet and underwater tea party together. I love how creative kids can be! As if my friends and I would even enter the water. We would just drown in sunscreen while we tried to sunbathe.

After half an hour of swimming, the kids stop playing and start leaving. As I step out of the pool, some really hot guys come out of the changing room. They had freshly showered and were walking in a large group towards me. 

“Noona, come on out!”, yells this one kid I had been playing with. I emerge from the pool, water dripping all over my body. My curves glisten in the sunlight and my wet clothes stick to me tightly. I grab my pink towel and quickly wrap myself in it. All this while I was pining for some boys to drool over me in my bikini and now I was suddenly feeling self-conscious. What am I even playing at? The boys don’t seem to notice me. I am not even the center of this swimming pool. They seem more bothered about their beach ball than about me. Well, boo sucks to them because I love how I look today. 

The kids had changed and they set out for their home. I just lay down on a beach chair to dry myself off. From here, I could get a bird’s eye view of these dashing guys playing volley ball. It doesn’t look that hard. Or maybe they are so good at it that they make it look easy. 

Suddenly one special guy catches my attention. His skin is as white as milk. His back muscles flex back and forth as he swims in the direction of the ball. His arms have the perfect amount of muscle - he is not too bulky or too lean. Turn, boy. Let me see your face! He faces me and our eyes meet. We stare at each other for a while until one of his friends yells, “ Chan Hyung! Leader Hyung! Pass!” We both come out of trance and he continues playing. This boy looks like an angel… with abs. I want to run my fingers through the soft curls of his black hair. So he is called Chan. And he is their leader? Oh I just love dominating guys who know what they want and how to get it. So Mr. Chan is the leader among 9 guys. All of them look so good but this man is my prince. 

Wait… They are playing in teams: 5 vs 4. This is my chance. If I don’t seize my opportunity, I will live a lonely life. So I gather my guts and walk towards them, “Guys, can I join you? I play well, I promise.” What a fake promise. But I got to join Chan’s team as the fifth member. I played so badly. I knocked out my own members as I tried to catch the ball. I almost drowned because of the tides these guys were causing while running around in the pool. I got into Chan’s bad books when I distracted him by pouring splashing large bouts of water at him. He is not as angelic as he seems. Apparently he takes this game very seriously for some reason and I am more dangerous than the other team. He can’t win because of me. Angry Chan is sexy Chan. But we somehow tied with the other team. 

Suddenly, the ball comes in Changbin’s direction. I rush towards him so that I can catch the ball but two white arms snake around my waist and paralyse me. His grip is firm. Changbin safely catches the ball and finally scores a point. We win! I turn around to see Chan’s dimpled smile. He is ecstatic from the victory. “Yayyyyy!!!”, I scream as I wrap my arms around his neck. He in turn holds my waist. I look up at him, into his eyes and smile. Then I blush because I realise that our bodies are crushed together and my boobs are resting on his bare chest. I think he also noticed that we are wearing very less clothing. We let go of each other and smile. 

I want to get to know this guy more. I can’t leave him and go away just yet. So I announce, “Guys, I’ll treat all of you to ice-cream. As the worst player, I could do atleast this much. Let’s meet after changing.”

I change into the clothes I had brought with me - a baby pink oversized hoodie and white shorts. The shorts can be seen only if i raise my arms. I let my wet black hair loose; it reaches all the way to my waist. I put on my white shoes and jump out of the dressing room. The boys were already waiting for me. Chan’s eyes sparkle when he sees me. He is wearing a baby blue hoodie. I want it so bad. Maybe I could borrow it if I were his girlfriend. 

“Your hair is so long, Noona”, observes Jeongin. I flip my hair in approval. Oops! I spray some water accidentally at Hyunjin and Seungmin. Felix continues, “You and Chan Hyung make quite a pair.” I blush so much that I can’t even face Chan. He shakes his hand in disagreement. That’s when Felix comments, “I meant, you guys look like ice-cream!” 

We had to walk a few blocks to buy them some ice-cream. I had to find a pretty place because they honestly shouldn’t think of me as a cheapskate. Chan and I order the same flavour: Raspberry. I spend a fortune on these 9 boys. The things I have to do for love! 

I have to sit opposite Chan because Jisung and Changbin called dibs on either side of him. We lick our icecreams appreciatively. All of us talk about random things and exchange numbers. I feel happy having made so many friends in one day. Then, Changbin grabs the Sriracha bottle and shows it to Jisung. He winks back. They are probably spicy food lovers. 

“I can’t handle this firesauce. But I do love a hip-hop group called 3Racha,” I explain. “I don’t know what they look like because they arent exactly an official group of JYP. They just release mixtapes but good lord! Theirs is the best rap I have ever heard! They only have private shows so common people like me can’t really meet them.” I continue fangirling, “There are three members - G.One, SpearB and my favourite, CB97. He is the one who produces most of their songs. I am in love with his voice and his music. I want to meet him so bad and tell him how much his music means to me!” I let out a long sigh. All nine of them are quiet all of a sudden. 

Chan breaks the awkward silence with a question, “Which is your favourite song by 3Racha?” I reply, “Wow by Spear B is a gag song but it always brings a smile on my face. It actually makes me feel confident about the way I look.” Chan asks, “Wow was produced by Spear B. Then why do you like CB97?” “CB97 sounds like an absolute gentleman in Wow. My favourite song is Start Line in which he raps in English about how he entered the world of music,” I reply. 

Chan grins but I can’t understand what his smile means. “Do you know 3Racha too?” It was my turn to ask. Changbin butts in before he can answer, “I am Spear B. We are all part of an upcoming boygroup called Stray Kids. So we used nicknames insteas for 3Racha. We were still trainees, you know.” He points at Jisung, “He is G.One.” Jisung assures me that it’s him with a rap from the secret tracks of 3Racha’s first mixtape. I am frozen. I muster up the courage to enquire, “So who is CB97?” Chan shyly raises his hand, “I’m your gentleman, Miss.” That Australian accent is unmistakably CB97’s. 

I bury my face in my hands out of embarassment. He pulls away my hands and gazes into my eyes. “Well, you did open that door for me,” I slowly remarked, recalling the time when we entered the cafe. “But you’re not better than Tony,” I stuck my tongue out at him. 

Now that we had all finished our ice-cream, we set out to leave the cafe. Chan opens the door for me again, with a smirk on his face. He blocks my way with his arm and says, “Now that you confessed your love for me, I would like to ask you out on a date. I want to get to know my future girlfriend a little bit more.” He ruffles my hair and comments, “I liked you ever since I first saw you at the pool playing with those kids. I heard fireworks when you came out of the pool. Then I felt that you were a keeper with your long hair and pink hoodie. So I do feel honoured that my ideal type is also my biggest fan.” “You are so cheesy, saying so many things about me like that. You might as well make a song about me!” I peck his cheek lightly and run away.

[ericsonclan]

Meeting Clementine

Summary: Kenny convinces Lee to give adoption a chance and brings Clementine to meet him for the first time.

Read on A03:

“So, how are you and Duck doing?” Lee asked as he handed his friend Kenny a beer.

Kenny let out a long sigh, taking a swig of the drink before answering. “It’s been some fucking year. Katjaa’s been out of the hospital two weeks now, but it’s gonna take a hell of a lot longer than that for her to really bounce back,”

“She’s a fighter,” Lee took a sip from his own beer, looking round the bar. “She beat cancer; she can make it through the recovery,”

“I sure hope so. We almost lost her back there, Lee. Raising Duck on my own…” Kenny shook his head. “I couldn’t imagine it,” He glanced over at Lee, then looked down at the table. “I heard about you and Claudia. Sorry I couldn’t be there when all of that went down,”

Lee shook his head. “There was nothing that could’ve been done anyway. Claudia’s moved out… and I’m stuck in that big house we’d planned to start a family in. It’s a weird feeling, being in such a huge place all alone,”

Kenny looked like he was about to say something, but then a voice crackled over the microphone. “Alright folks, it’s time for Mueller’s weekly Trivia Night to begin!” Nick, the host, shielded his eyes from the lights as he looked out into the crowd. “Hey, I see we have some familiar faces back after a long time! Lee, Kenny, good to have you back!” There was a round of applause from those in the bar who also recognized them. The pair raised their beers appreciatively. Six years of attending Trivia Night at Mueller’s and they’d never missed a week of it until this last year from hell. With Katjaa in the hospital and Lee’s marriage collapsing around him, it just hadn’t seemed like a priority. Now that they were back though, it felt like life was finally returning to normal in some small way.

“Alright, first question,” the mic crackled again. “Independence Day was first established as a holiday by Congress in what year?”

Lee’s hand came down hard on the buzzer. “1870!”

“That is… correct!” Nick rang the little triangle that dangled from the mic stand while his partner Luke manned the whiteboard that tracked the points.

Lee pumped his fist in satisfaction. Civil War history was his forte, but anything within American history was a good bet for him. He had history and literature covered while Kenny had the sciences down pat.

“Liver!” Kenny called out in response to the question “what is the largest internal organ of the human body”. Another ding from the triangle, another correct answer.

Lee shook his head in good-natured disbelief, taking another drink from his beer. He’d asked Kenny back when they’d met how he remembered so much random knowledge and Kenny had shrugged it off, saying his brain was like some sort of sea sponge, soggy and absorbing everything round it. Now they were back in the proverbial ring and he was still as sharp as ever, hand poised beside the buzzer, ready to strike as soon as the next question was given.

Things progressed smoothly throughout the rest of the night. They didn’t end up sweeping Trivia Night as they had for several weeks in the past, but they’d accrued a respectable score, keeping things close between them and their main competitors while everyone else lagged behind. Now it was dark out though, time to pack things up and head home.

“Lee,” Kenny started, “Before you leave, there’s something I was meaning to talk about with you tonight. Should’ve brought it up earlier, but there just didn’t seem to be a good time,” Lee raised an eyebrow. “Go on. I’m listening,”

Kenny fidgeted nervously with his trucker cap. “I know that before things went south with you and Claudia, the two of you were considering adoption. I was wondering if that’s something you’d still be interested in,” He raised his hands up. “Now of course, if this ain’t a good time for you, you can tell me to fuck right off. But there’s this one girl I’ve been trying to find a good home for for years now, and I think you two might be a good fit. She’s not a bad kid or nothing, it’s just that life seems to like kicking her when she’s down. Figured you could relate,” Kenny had been the one Lee and Claudia had approached with thoughts of adoption back when things were going well. Given his job as a social worker, they knew he could help them through the intricacies of the adoption process. However, they’d been looking into getting a baby. Lee wasn’t sure if he could handle that on his own.

“How old is she?”

“Just turned fifteen,”

Now raising a teenager was another problem in itself. Lee saw that Kenny had noticed the indecision in his eyes.

“I know, I know, it’s not an easy age to start with. Hell, Duck’s the same age right now and some days I think he’s worse than when he was a toddler. But this girl’s special. Kat and I were seriously considering adopting her ourselves before we got news of the cancer. I just want her to have somewhere safe to grow up at least till she ages out of the system. But it doesn’t have to be you if you don’t want it,”

Lee pursed his lips thoughtfully. “What’s this girl’s name?”

“Clementine,”

---

It was about a week later when Lee found himself in his kitchen, anxiously looking out the window as he waited for Kenny to arrive with Clementine. He had decided to give this a shot. He trusted Kenny’s judgment enough for this girl to deserve that at the very least. Lee still wasn’t sure if he was cut out to be a teenager’s dad, but if Clementine was as special as Kenny seemed to believe, then just maybe this could work.

He set down his coffee mug as he saw Kenny’s truck pulling into the driveway. Stepping out to his front porch, he gave an awkward wave before walking forward to greet them. Kenny hopped out of the truck, giving Lee a quick hug and patting him firmly on the back.

“You ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,”

Kenny nodded, motioning to the young girl who’d just stepped out of the car. “Lee, this is Clementine. Clementine, Lee. I’m gonna head out for a few hours, give you two some time to get to know each other, then I’ll be back to pick Clementine up. You good, kiddo?”

The girl nodded noncommittally, looking around the outside of the house with a sort of jaded boredom.

Lee cleared his throat awkwardly, extending an arm to the house. “Wanna come in? I just make a fresh pot of coffee,”

Clementine nodded, following without a word. The kitchen was immediately to the left of the entryway. As Clementine took a seat, Lee searched for another mug. “Sorry there’s not much décor around the house. My wife and I had just moved here back when we were planning to start a family, but, well, things happened and now it’s just me in this big ol’ place without a clue about interior design,” Way to go, Lee. Telling this kid about your history as a sad divorcee is a great way to kick things off.

Clementine simply nodded politely, taking the cup of coffee that was offered her. Lee had a fleeing panicked thought as he wondered whether it was appropriate to give coffee to children. Then he remembered Starbucks was a thing. Shit, Lee, you’ve gotta calm down. She’ll smell your fear. Lee took a long sip of his coffee, watching Clementine. She seemed like a normal enough kid, though a bit closed off. On her head she wore a baseball hat emblazoned with a blue D. He wondered what it stood for. “You a baseball fan?”

“My dad was. He gave me the cap,”

Now that he looked more closely, Lee could see how worn out the thing was. Dirt and dust were caked over every inch of it, and maybe even a flew splatters of blood. The embroidery on the D was starting to come loose in one corner, causing the tip of the letter to curl out from the hat. The cap must mean a lot to her. “You know, Morgantown High has a pretty good baseball team from what I hear. The coach there used to be in the major leagues,”

“That’s cool,” She didn’t sound impressed.

Lee cleared his throat. “Have you had anything to eat yet? I should have run out and grabbed some sandwiches for us,”

“I had a granola bar,”

“Now that’s no sort of proper breakfast!” Lee walked over toward his fridge, searching for what he had handy that was healthy and fresh. It was pretty bare, just the basic like eggs, milk… Now wait a minute. Lee walked over to the pantry, rooting around in it for a minute before finding what he was looking for. He popped his head out of the pantry door to look at Clementine. “Any chance you’d be interested in making some pancakes with me? We’ve got eggs, bacon, O.J… we could make it a full on breakfast feast,”

Clementine’s eyes widened a bit at the offer. She looked pleased though. “Sure, that sounds fun,”

“Alrighty then! You get out the ingredients, and I’ll find us some bowls and pans,” With that they set off on their missions, Clementine assembling the milk, eggs and pancake mix while Lee banged around in the pots and pans drawer before finding something fitting. He wasn’t sure where any of the old cookbooks were (if Claudia had even left any), so they Googled a recipe and got started from there. As Clementine stirred the mix together, inspiration struck Lee. “You know what? Now that I think of it, I’m sure I have some bananas stored away somewhere. Do you like those in pancakes?”

Clementine nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. “Do you have any.. chocolate maybe?”

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Lee reached up onto the top pantry shelf. “It’s a bit musty, but that’ll cook off, right? Worth a shot,”

Clementine chuckled, taking a cup measure and ladling the first pancake onto the frying pan.

Lee cautiously plopped a few pieces of chocolate on top of the bubbling mass, watching it with curiosity. “Let’s see what else we can find that’d go well with pancakes, shall we?”

In the end, they found the bananas, a stray container of blueberries, some stale walnuts that Lee threw in with his own banana pancakes, and a few raspberries. Lee was worried there wasn’t any syrup, but Clementine took the initiative, bravely scouring the depths of his pantry until she found it. She plated the pancakes while Lee finished frying up the bacon. They sat down together once everything was ready, their mouths watering.

Lee watched in contentment as Clementine attacked her stack of pancakes. Damn, this girl could eat. It made him wonder if her last foster home had been feeding her enough. The sleeves of her shirt were pushed up to avoid getting syrup on them. He noticed a nasty looking scar sticking out by her left sleeve, but decided it was best not to ask about it. She also had a scar indenting her forehead, small yet noticeable. This girl looked like she’d been through hell and back. He could see why Kenny wanted to protect her.

“Do you… want to hear a little bit about me?” Lee offered. “I’m not super interesting. I work at WVU as a history professor, specializing in American history and the Civil War,”

“I like history,” Clementine responded through a mouth full of pancakes.

“Well, alright then!” Lee felt the history geek in him getting excited at the prospect of a new student to take under his wing. He started going through some of his favorite historical events: the Battle of Fort Sumter, Antietam, the Emancipation Proclamation and Juneteenth… Clementine listened with what appeared to be genuine interest, munching happily on her pancakes and providing surprisingly insightful questions from time to time. Lee found himself losing track of the time. He was genuinely surprised when he heard Kenny’s truck pull up in the driveway.

“So soon?” Lee’s face fell. He saw Clementine’s do the same, looking down at the table. Lee leaned forward conspiratorially. “Maybe if I invite him in for a cup of coffee, we can get a few more minutes. How does that sound?”

Clementine nodded appreciatively. “Yeah, let’s do it,”

Lee stepped out to meet Kenny as he made his way up the steps of the front porch. “Back so soon?”

“Soon? It’s been almost two and a half hours,” A smile crossed Kenny’s face. “I see the two of you hit it off then?”

“She’s a good kid. I can see why you’re fond of her. That foster home that she’s at right now, are they feeding her right?”

“Clem’s actually between foster homes right now. Her bag’s in the back of my truck,”

“You mean…”

“If you’d like, we can sign the paperwork for you to foster her starting today,”

Lee felt a rush of excitement run through his veins. “Alright, let’s do it,”

He and Kenny stepped inside, walking into the kitchen just as Clementine was finishing the last of her pancakes.

“Hi, Clementine. Have a good time?” Kenny asked.

Clementine nodded, but looked down as she got up. “Is it time to go?”

“Actually, Lee here was wondering if you’d be interested in staying. What do ya think, Clem? Would you like to stay here?”

Clementine’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Seriously?”

Lee nodded, a warm smile on his face. “You’re welcome for as long as you want to stay. There’s a guest room just down the hall. It’s nothing fancy, but feel free to move anything around in there however you like so you feel at home,”

Clementine seemed genuinely touched at his words. She looked away, clearly unsure how to react to such good news.

Kenny chuckled, tossing her the keys. “Go ahead and grab your stuff. I’ll get Lee started on the paperwork,”

Clementine caught them, bounding out the door before either of them could say anything else.

“Well,” Kenny placed a hand on Lee’s shoulder, “You’re a dad now. Or a surrogate dad at least. I wish you the best of luck,”

“Thanks,” Lee looked out the window, watching Clementine as she hurriedly grabbed her stuff. “I think it’s gonna be a really good thing. For the both of us,”

“I couldn’t agree more,”

[littlemisssquiggles]

RWBY Squiggle Scripts #002: A-Dork-You!

It’s been a long time since we’ve had some lighthearted fun in combat in RWBY. So I propose for a rematch between Team RWBY and Team JNPR. 

…Only this time, Oscar Pine has officially joined the revived team as their youngest member.

The designated battlefield is a snow-covered courtyard on the compound of Atlas Academy. The game: Snowball Wars!

This idea would be made even better if it was parodied after Captain America: Civil War where either opposing teams are lined up, squared off against each other. Then simultaneously all eight huntsman start advancing towards each other, slowly at first before building momentum and going into a full battle charge.

We can even have Oscar being the adolescent Peter Parker/ Spiderman of the group (because let’s just face it, he would totally be the Spidey boy in this) look to Jaune, their team leader, and be all like “…Umm Jaune, they’re not stopping.”

Only for Jaune to reply with a serious anime smirk “And neither are we”.

The two teams then clash and it’s a snowball war of epic proportions. I’ve been itching for a rematch between these two teams since the original Food Fight from V2. There needs to be a rematch snowball showdown if the group are heading towards Atlas.

I can totally see the CRWBY team doing something like this if possible especially if it’s a spoof of Civil War. I’m even picturing a cute Hawkeye and Black Widow moment between our young Rosebuds where Ruby and Oscar end up clashing at some point during the snowball fight.

Picture the two younglings sizing each other up, snowballs in hand, ready to aim. Picture Oscar looking at Ruby cheekily and saying humorously, “You wouldn’t hit a guy with two souls, right Rhubarb?”

Or…perhaps he’d imitate Black Widow and be all like, “We’re still totally best rosebuds, right?”

Smirking, Ruby imitates Hawkeye and boldly responds “Depends on how hard you hit me, pipsqueak.”

Or…perhaps Ruby’s response to Oscar goes like, “Duh. Rosebuds forever whatever, right?”

This remark makes Oscar smile. “Movie later?” he suggests.

“Sure,” Ruby complies, “but loser of this fight has to feed the other cookies and give them a foot massage.”

“Oooh bad idea Rhubarb. You’re going to regret those words later when I beat you.” Oscar says mischievously.

“Ahaha! You’ll have to catch me first, pipsqueak.” Ruby retorts playfully, bopping Oscar on the nose before speeding off using her semblance.

That’s the general idea. In the end, the snowball fight is declared a draw as the ruckus caused by the combating huntsmen alerted the attention of one of the adults on the Atlesian school grounds. For the sake of this example, let’s say the adult is Winter Schnee.

In a similar fashion to Glynda Goodwitch from in V2, Winter marches onto the courtyard scolding everyone (especially Weiss) and ceasing the battle before a victor could be crowned.

As a result, everyone is forced to retire inside. While their other team members decided to explore more of the Atlas school compound, Ruby and Oscar stayed behind in the common rooms to fulfill their promise to hang out together watching a movie. Since neither of their teams won the match, the two rosebuds decided to compromise on their earlier agreement. Oscar agreed to rub Ruby’s feet for her if she fed him cookies.

So imagine… Ruby and Oscar huddled together on the couch streaming a movie onto the TV via one of their Scrolls (probably an action-adventure or something cute as requested by Ruby).

Ruby is enjoying a nice warm foot massage courtesy of Oscar and his magical hands, every once in a while reaching over to pat his head and feed him as a chocolate chip cookie as tasty compensation for his services as her, quote, ‘Humble Masseur’ for the evening.

I can imagine that at this point in their friendship, Ruby and Oscar would’ve grown accustomed to each other’s company to the point where they’re absolutely comfortable around each other. So it feels natural and well-welcomed to spend time alone together doing stuff like enjoying a movie without the need for supervision. Not to mention that they’d also be contented to consent to making physical contact with one another without it becoming too inappropriate or weird.

Not to mention being close enough to crack cheeky jokes at the other’s expense without it coming across as offensive.

RWBY Squiggle Script #002: A-Dork-You! 

Picture…Ruby, while enjoying the massage, saying to Oscar sarcastically in a mock snooty accent while holding a glass of milk pretending it was the finest champagne in all of Remnant. “I can really get used to these foot massages. Mr. Pine, might I say that your hands are as magical as your powers. The legends about your mighty skill speak truth.”

Snorting, Oscar chuckles before responding in a fake Southern accent of his own. “Why thank you mighty kindly Ms. Rose,” the farm boy says mockingly, “and might I say too, that your toes are as prickly as the lovely flower you get your name from.”

He is rewarded with a pillow directly to the face as Ruby playfully clobbers him with one of the couch cushions. “You jerk! I give you a compliment and you insult my delicate toes,” Ruby giggled as Oscar burst into fits of laughter himself.

Oscar: I’m sorry I couldn’t resist. You’re just too fun to tease.

Ruby: Oh yeah? Well y’know what? For that, you’re not getting the last cookie.”

Oscar: What! No! Nooo! I want a last cookie. Please! I promise I’ll be a good little humble masseur and won’t insult your thorny toes anymore.

Ruby: Nuh uh! You’ve been bad so no more cookies for you. Deal with it.

Oscar: *pouting as he slumps onto the other side of the couch* Great I get no more cookies and now my hands smell like your feet.

Ruby sticks her tongue out at Oscar and gives him the raspberry.

Oscar: *rolling his eyes* Mature.

He then gets an idea and he smirks looking from his hands to Ruby. As if reading his mind, Ruby realizes what he’s thinking of doing and instinctively slinks back on her side of the couch.

Ruby: Don’t even think about it Oscar Pine!

Oscar: *smirk widens as he nudges closer to Ruby’s side of the couch* Oh whatever do you mean Ms. Rose?

Ruby: You’re thinking of smothering me with your stinky feet hands, aren’t you?

Oscar: I was just going to tickle you till you give me the cookies because I know your secret tickle spot but that sounds like a much better plan.

Ruby: …No! Bad Oscar! Very bad!

Oscar: *playful smile intensifies* Give me the last cookie. *inches closer to Ruby*

Ruby: Never! I’ll tell Ozpin on you.

Oscar: *scoffs* Really? That the best you got?

Ruby: Yeah that was kinda dumb. Wait! I’ll tell Uncle Qrow on you.

Oscar: I’ve seen the way your uncle runs even when he’s sober, I think I have the advantage or at least a five minute head start. Ten if I get him drunk.

Ruby: …Good point. Fine. I’ll tell Yang on you.

Oscar: ….Ooof. Worthy threat. But y’know what, I’ll risk it. I like living on the edge. Boy with two souls here, bring it! I yield for no wo-man not even one with a metallic arm. Wanna know why? Cause I’m a rebel!

Oscar and Ruby then eyeball each other for a while after his last remark. Then, simultaneously, they both snorted and keeled over in fits of raucous laughter.

Ruby: *through fits of giggles* You…are…such…a…DORK!

Oscar: …Yeaaaaah but that’s why you like me. I’m your dork, right? *finger guns Ruby making her laugh more*

Ruby: *still giggling* You’re a-DORK-able!

Oscar: A-DORK-able enough to get a cooookie? *props himself in front of Ruby looking her square in the face, giving her his best Oscar puppy dog eyes while wigging his butt like a dog wagging his tail*

Ruby: *stifles another laugh* You are soooooo lucky you’re cute Oscar.

Smiling, Ruby breaks piece of the last cookie, popping one half into her mouth while feeding the other half to Oscar. Like a puppy, Oscar happily accepts the cookie, taking it with his mouth before plopping his head onto Ruby’s empty lap. Still imitating a puppy, Oscar rolls over onto his back and makes himself more cozy on Ruby’s lap. He then nudged closer to her so that he was looking directly up at her face again. Smiling, the freckled farm boy then proceeds to poke Ruby in the cheek; still being playful.

Ever had that one friend who would annoy you but in an irresistibly cute way just to get your attention? And you can’t even get too mad at them because they’re so adorable. Imagine Oscar like that with Ruby.

Oscar: Hey…Hey Red…Hey Redberry. Hey Ruberry. Hey Ruby-roo-berry.

Ruby: Why are you like this? Stop…being…so…adorkable! What do you want now?

Oscar: Gimme tummy rubs!

Ruby: No.

Oscar: *pouting* No fair. I gave you foot massages. C’mon rub my belly pleeeeease! *pretends to whimper like a puppy*

Ruby: You’re as bad as Zwei. If I rub your belly, will you stop being such a dork?

Oscar: …Maaaybe

Groaning, Ruby rubs Oscar’s belly and the former farm boy purrs in content. Ruby couldn’t help but roll her eyes at how much of complete dork he was being. A cute dork. But a dork nonetheless.

Ruby: *sarcastically* Wow, your stomach is as flat as a board, my sir.  

Oscar: Hey! Don’t insult my rock hard abs, woman.

Ruby: *snorts* Rock hard abs? More like paper thin sheets.

Oscar: It’s a work in progress, thank you very much. Besides maybe you should work on your toes, thorn-bush.

Immediately Oscar regretted his last choice of words as Ruby started tickling his belly, making him laugh.

Ruby: *through tickling Oscar and his loud laughing while laughing herself* Or maybe you should try not insulting the hand of the person giving you belly rubs especially if they know you’re ticklish too!

Their amusement soon dissolved into a silence. Nothing awkward. Just a quiet contentment they’ve grown between themselves since the start of their friendship. It was a relaxed feeling that they both shared whenever they were alone together. As she looked down at his face, Ruby noticed a happy grin playing at Oscar’s lips as she absently smiled back up at her.

Ruby: What are you smiling about Mr. Rebel? Thinking of another adorkable way to bug me for favours?

Oscar: *chuckles softly* Nah. Not this time. I guess…I was just thinking about how much I’m really glad you’re my friend Rubes. You’ve been so nice to me and you’ve helped me grow so much. Sometimes I feel like I don’t really deserve a friend like you since you’re so great. I don’t know if you feel the same about me since I don’t think I’m all that great to begin with anyway. I guess, what I’m mostly trying to say is, thanks for being the best friend I could’ve wished for.

Oscar then looked away, a tiny blush playing at his cheeks at his last statement. For a moment, Ruby just stared at Oscar, stunned by his kind words. Her cheeks then flushed pink as she then beamed from cheek to cheek.

Ruby: Hey Oscar?

Oscar returned his gaze to look back up at Ruby. And as he did, Ruby put her two hands together, making a heart sign to Oscar’s face.

Ruby: *in a cutesy voice* I a-DORK you!

Now it was Oscar’s turn to stare back at Ruby in awe at her rather cute gesture. He then stifled a laugh before sheepishly bringing his hands up to covering his face, doing his best to hide the embarrassed blush and bright happy smile that threatened to take over face.

Oscar: *bashfully* Why are you…and you say I’m the adorkable one. You should…try looking at yourself in the mirror sometimes.

Shyly Oscar takes Ruby’s hand into his. He intertwines their fingers before bringing them together to form the same heart sign in response to Ruby’s. Timidly, Oscar flashed Ruby a warm smile.

Oscar: I a-DORK you too.

Ruby beamed. She then booped Oscar on the nose as the two shared another laugh before returning to their quiet cuddles on the couch; soon remembering that they were supposed to be watching a movie.

You can’t have a strong rose-budding RoseGarden friendship without our two smaller, more honest souls being adorable dorks with each other.

Especially Oscar. V4 hinted at Oscar having a somewhat joking and playful side to his personality so I’m hoping that a close friendship with Ruby would help bring out more of that side of him. I want the freckly farm boy to be as adorkable as I imagined him to be in this post.

I welcome any and all RG-friendship moments if it gives me these two being absolute cuties. Especially Oscar. We already know Ruby’s adorable. I now need to see more of Oscar being adorable too. He’s already got the face of a puppy. Let him be as cute as one and maybe one day act like one for funzies to score some cookies and/or tummy rubs/ head pats from Ruby.

Let these two be cute dorks with each other is what I’m saying.

   More Squiggles’ RWBY Content

~LittleMissSquiggles (2018)

[hoffkk]

One Small Glimpse

Deception Drabble - Kaymeron

Requested by: Anon

Quote Requested: “Why do you have a baby with you?”

********

“I can’t do this anymore!” Dina nearly shouted through her tears as she walked urgently into Cam’s apartment. She was a stress-crier and right now she was definitely stressed out.

“Good to see you too.” Cameron quipped, trying to lighten the mood as he closed the door behind Dina and the stroller she pushed in front of her. He knew she had volunteered to babysit her nephew for the weekend. He also knew that she wasn’t a baby person. At all. So, Cameron had a feeling he knew exactly why she was all worked up.

“He just won’t stop!” Dina complained, confirming Cam’s suspicions just like that. “I've tried everything... playing, feeding, changing him, but he just cries! No matter what I do, he cries and cries and—“ Suddenly, Dina cut herself off as she stared in awe at Cameron who was now holding her surprisingly quiet nephew. “How did you do that?” She asked, feeling completely flummoxed.

Cam bounced the baby boy on his hip and cooed at him, pausing for a moment to reply, “You've just got to stay calm."  He took a moment to cover the little one's ears then continued in a whisper,  "Babies are like sharks. They can sense fear.”

Dina wasn’t sure if that information was totally accurate, but she wasn’t about to argue. The baby was finally quiet, and that was all that really mattered. So, instead of questioning his wisdom, she probed about his methods, “How did you get so good with kids?”

“Much like my magic skills and good looks, it is yet another heavenly gift I have been bestowed.” He answered confidently. “Isn’t it, little man? Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is!” Cam cooed again, making the baby give him a high five with his tiny hand.

Smiling nervously, Dina bit her lip and said sheepishly, “Look, I know it’s a lot to ask but... can you please look after Leo for a little while?

“What do you think, Leo?” Cam asked the little mocha skinned munchkin in his arms. “Wanna hang out with Uncle Cam for a bit?” Leo squealed, causing slobber to drip down his chin as he waved his hands happily. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He grinned, pulling a magic hanky from his sleeve and wiping Leo’s face.  "And so can you."

“Thank you!” Dina sighed in relief then ran over to hug her friend. “Cameron, you are a life saver!” She told him as she gave him a gentle embrace around Leo.

“Don’t mention it.” He waved off, then after a moment added, “Actually, if you want to mention it to Kay, that’d be cool. You know, just saying.”

Aware of his little thing for Kay and that she now owed him big time, Dina just nodded her head and smiled, “I will talk you up SO hard next time I see her.” With that, she gave Leo a quick kiss on-top of his dark curls and darted to the door. “Everything you’ll need is in his diaper bag in the stroller. I’ll be back around dinner time. Thanks again!”

Cameron, who was too busy blowing raspberries on Leo’s tummy, barely heard her over his giggles. “I’m sorry, what?” He said after a moment looking over to where Dina had just been standing, but she was long gone. Unconcerned, Cam gave a quick shrug and began playing peek-a-boo with his new little buddy.

********

It was a little after one, and Kay had just finished her afternoon run through the park. She stopped by the big fountain as always and did a few cool down stretches. First, she stretched her legs. Then, she moved to her arms. As Kay pulled her left arm across her chest, she inhaled the sweet scent of lilacs and took in the scene around her. There was a family having a picnic, a young couple on a stroll, few other joggers like herself, and an elderly couple sitting on the fountain’s edge, feeding the birds around them. Down a few feet from Mr. and Mrs. Birdseed, was a young father playing with his baby boy. Kay couldn’t help but watch as he lifted his baby up and tossed him playfully in the air. It was so sweet. It made Kay’s heart tingle a little... as well as another place on her body. Let’s just say her biological clock was ticking loudly at the moment.

Still watching the father and son moment across the small grassy field, Kay dropped her left arm and repeated the motion with her right. As she did, she noticed the man switched from tossing the baby to making him fly around. Now that the little one was moving from side to side, Kay was better able to discern the man’s face. It was hard to see specifics, but she could tell he was about her age with dirty blonde hair and a charming dimpled smile. Wait a minute...

Squinting into the sun, Kay took a few steps closer and realized what or rather who she was seeing.

Making her way over to the man, she called out in confusion, “Cameron?”

“Oh, hey, Kay.” He grinned, placing the baby on his lap. Cam raked his eyes over her appreciatively. She always looked good but seeing her in spandex leggings and a racer back tank was truly something else. “Nice outfit.” He noted in a playful tone.

“Nice baby.” She retorted in kind.

“Leo meet Kay. Kay, Leo.” He introduced, holding out Leo’s teeny hand toward Kay.

“Hi, Leo.” Kay said sweetly, stretching out her index finger for Leo to grasp. He gave it a tight squeeze, making her heart melt and smile widen. “So...” She added after a moment, her curiosity getting the better of her. “You wanna tell me why you have a baby with you?”

“He’s Dina’s nephew.” Cameron explained. “She offered to babysit for her sister, but things weren't exactly working out.”

“What do you mean?” She asked, taking a seat next to him on the fountain ledge.

“Let’s just say Dina and babies go together like orange juice and toothpaste... and as someone who brushed their teeth before breakfast this morning I can attest that that is a terrible combination.” Cameron elaborated humorously.

Kay chuckled and said, “Gotcha.” then instantly returned her attention to Leo. He was so adorable that she couldn’t help but tell him so. “Aren’t you just a precious little man?” She cooed.

“I know,” Cam replied, accepting the compliment for himself with a teasing smirk. “It’s both a gift and a curse.”

Kay just rolled her eyes in response, expecting nothing less from her partner.

For the next few minutes, Cameron sat and watched as Kay played tickle monster with the bouncing baby boy in his arms. He loved the way her face lit up at Leo’s giggles and babbles. He also liked how Kay wasn’t fazed by a little drool or spit up. She would just grab the burp cloth sitting atop his shoulder and wipe the mess away before continuing with their little game. It was evident that Kay would make an amazing parent one day.

“You are pretty good at this.” He complimented.

“I’m not so sure about that... but thanks.” Kay responded awkwardly yet appreciatively.

“I mean it.” Cam told her with certainty. “When the time comes, you’ll be a great mom.”

Blushing a little, she smiled and quipped, “So will you.”

Letting out a little chuckle, Cam queried, “You wanna hold him?”

“I probably shouldn’t. I mean, I don’t want to interrupt your afternoon.” Kay responded, glancing at her smart watch. Holy crap. Had she really been sitting here for a half hour already? “You know, I should probably get going.” She added, but really wanted to do anything but. It was her first day off in forever, and she had planned a “me” day, but, now that she was hanging out with Cam and Leo, Kay really liked the idea of a “we” day much better.

“We don’t mind. Do we buddy?” Cam asked looking to Leo. Mimicking a baby voice, Cam held him out to her and said “Stay, Kay! Stay! Hold me!”

Leo scrunched his little nose and gave her the cutest grin. How could she say no to that face? So instead she sighed, “All right, come here, little man. Come see Auntie Kay.”

Stretching his smile to meet his steel blue eyes, Cameron happily handed over Leo. Then, he proceed to watch the two of them play for a while longer before intervening to give the baby his bottle. Kay, not ready to give him up just yet, took the milk from Cameron along with the duties of feeding and burping. Cam didn’t mind. He loved watching them together. It made him think of his own future. A future with Kay and perhaps a child of their own. Realizing where his mind was going, he shook the thoughts away quickly and made a comment about Leo needing a nap.

“You gonna head back to your place?” She wondered aloud.

“Yeah, eventually.” Cam answered as he packed the toys they had used back up in the diaper bag along with Leo’s now empty bottle. “I’ll stroll him through the park first though. That should put him right to sleep.”

Kay nodded silently before handing Leo back to Cam and asking, “Mind if I tag along?” When he just blinked at her a moment, she added, “I don’t have to. I mean, if you don’t want me—“

“I want you,” Cam told her hurriedly, feeling like a jerk for suddenly trying to leave her behind. Realizing how awkward his words came out, he quickly amended, “to come... to come with me. Come for a walk with us.” He finally got out, using a phrase that didn’t sound completely inappropriate.

Seeing his cheeks flush with embarrassment, Kay smirked and said, “I’d really enjoy that.”

After staring at each other for a moment more, Cameron put Leo into the stroller, strapped him in, then gestured to the dirt walking path and inquired, “Shall we?”

The two of them walked for about an hour as Leo slept soundly, talking about this and that. Given the situation, the topic of kids naturally came up. While they both disagreed in amount (Kay liking the idea of just one and Cameron wanting a houseful), they both agreed that they did want kids someday... when the time was right."

A little while after that, Leo started to stir and get fussy, so Kay drove them all back to Cam’s (he had taken the subway earlier) so they could change the baby's diaper in the privacy of his apartment. For the remainder of the day, the three of them bonded as they went through a repetitious cycle of playing, feeding, and changing. Unfortunately, Leo got gassy and wouldn’t nap again. He got fussy for a while too, only relaxing whenever Cam would hold him. Needless to say, it was a fun yet exhausting evening.

********

Around 7 o’clock, Dina returned to the apartment for her nephew. She was about to knock when it occurred to her that Leo might be sleeping. Not wanting to risk waking him, if that was indeed the case, she pulled the spare key from her purse that Cameron had given her forever ago. Inserting it into the lock, Dina opened the door slowly and quietly. Not hearing much of anything from the entryway, she carefully shut the door and made her way further into the apartment. It wasn’t long before she spotted them in the living room.

Cameron laid passed out on the couch with Leo bundled in his arms, snoozing contently on his chest. Toys and diapers were strewn about, and the television softly played some children’s show that she didn’t recognize. It was all very adorable yet not really surprising... except for one detail.

Kay was there.

She was passed out on the couch next to Cameron, her head nestled on his shoulder, and a hand resting gently on Leo’s back like she had been giving him a soothing bedtime rub before falling asleep herself.

Not wanting to disturb the sweet moment, Dina quietly went to the kitchen and left a note for Cam, telling him to call her when he woke up.  Unable to stop herself, she went back to the living room to see the cuteness one more time and snap a picture of it with her phone.  With a cheeky smile, Dina hit save and made her way back out the same way she had come, all the while thinking and hoping...

that this was just one small glimpse of a big, bright future that lay ahead for Cameron and Kay. Together.

[lamptracker]

FIC: ‘Baby, just say yes’

A companion piece to 'I think i wanna marry you' . Five headcanons in one again. If I write another follow-up it’ll only be four.

FIC: ‘Baby, just say yes’

Summary: How Tom, Harrison, Harry, Sam and Jacob would propose

A/N: Harry’s is a true story but Sam’s is my favorite :)

Proposals from the boys

Tom

We all know that Tom can be Extra™

But

With something as important as this, he wants to keep it a little more low-key

(Not TOO much, though, this is Tom we’re talking about)

So his is something totally cliche yet entirely special

He decides he wants to go to New York for the weekend, because you’ve never been

He gets a room overlooking Times Square

It’s a warm spring night, there’s a slightly cool breeze blowing

You’re out on the balcony after having gone to dinner, just taking in the sights and sounds of the city below

You are completely awestruck by it all

You’re marveling to yourself just how beautiful Times Square is at night when you feel Tom’s arms wrap around your waist

“What’cha lookin’ at, darling?”

“Oh, just the city” you say, sighing contentedly as you lean back to rest your head on his shoulder

“It’s so pretty at night, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Thank you for bringing me here, Tom”

He kisses your cheek softly and says, “I think you’re prettier, though”

“Oh, stop it”

Tom spins you around so you’re facing him

“I mean it, love, you are”

You reach up to kiss him (mostly to hide the fact that you’re blushing)

He gently cups your face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs along your jaw as he kisses you

“I love you, Tom”

“I love you, darling”

Then he all of a sudden drops to one knee and pulls a ring box out of his pocket

You gasp loudly, covering your mouth in surprise

“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, darling. I love you so much. You make me so happy, and I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy. So, (y/n), will you marry me?”

“Yes, Tom! I will!”

He slides the ring on your finger and you happily kiss him

He doesn’t even close the drapes as you, ahem, “celebrate”

Harrison

Harrison thinks you’re the most perfect being on the planet

So when he proposes to you, it has to be no less than perfect

BUT

Remember that episode of Friends where Mike is trying to propose to Phoebe, and she makes fun of every proposal idea he’s tried to come up with?

It’s like that

He originally wanted to propose at a baseball game on the jumbotron

But then you were telling him about the time you went to a game with your dad and someone proposed on the jumbotron, but the girl said no and dumped a beer on his head

So that was out

(He likes beer, but he doesn’t like to wear it)

Then he thought of a restaurant, the classic “ring in the champagne” thing

But then one night you were out to dinner; someone did that and you snorted and said, “how frickin’ cheesy, get an original idea, geez”

(that girl said yes but STILL)

Frustrated, he'd turned to Tom

Who kindly advised him to “quit fucking overthinking it and just ask her already, come ON”

“Gee, thanks for all your wisdom there, Tom”

So he decides he’s still going to do it over dinner

But at home, over a home cooked meal

Chicken alfredo from scratch with homemade bread

(He may or may not have had Sam help him with all most of it)

You come home from work and it smells amazing

“Hey, Haz, what’s the occasion?”

“No occasion, just wanted to cook for my girl is all”

“How much of this did Sam help you with?”

“What’d you mean, he didn’t-”

“Harrison. You tried to thicken pancake batter by adding milk”

“Fine, he did most of the work but I stirred the sauce!”

And you laugh - “Well, it looks delicious, I’m starving”

You’re sitting there, eating in comfortable silence

Occasionally you talk about your day

After you’re finished with the meal you inquire about dessert

“Oh yeah, there’s chocolate raspberry cake for later, there’s something I need to do first”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

Harrison looks into your eyes, takes your hand from across the table and says:

“Ask you to marry me”

You gasp - “Are you serious right now?!”

“Yep. I love you so much and I can’t imagine spending my life with anybody but you. So, what’d you say? Will you marry me?”

“Yes, oh my God, yes!”

He pulls the ring out of his pocket and hands it to you; you slip it onto your finger, admiring it for a moment before you jump out of your chair and kiss him

“I was so stressed out about this, every idea I had you made fun of”

“Come on though, Harrison, the Jumbotron?”

“Yeah, I guess that does seem stupid”

“I love you, Harrison.”

“And I love you, (y/n)”

Harry

Harry would also freak out about the proposal

But he winds up doing it quite by accident

You had two more months before graduation and you were starting work on a huge term paper

He’d come over to visit you and bring you coffee and snacks

“You should stay the night, Harry, it’s too far a drive to make this late and you know how I worry”

Too tired to argue, Harry agrees

You both climb into bed and settle in - you’re on your side, he’s directly behind you with an arm wrapped around your waist

You’re both there in the dark, chatting about everything and nothing; occasionally, he’ll kiss your head or the back of your neck or you’ll grasp his hand and kiss it

“It stinks that you live so far away, Harry”

“It’s only 45 minutes, love. But I get what you’re saying”

“Only two more months,” you sigh, leaning your head back into his chest

He rubs a hand up and down your arm soothingly

You’re about to fall asleep when he just blurts it out:

“You know, when we get married, we won’t have to drive as much”

“Yeah, I know”

You’re about to fall asleep again when Harry all of a sudden realizes what he’d just said

He sits bolt upright and turns on the bedside lamp

“What’s the matter, Harry?”

“Did...oh, God. Did I just say when we get married?!”

You think about it for a moment

“Huh, I guess you did”

“And...that doesn’t freak you out, does it?”

“Not really”

“Well. Okay then. I...guess….we’re, uh, we’re getting married?”

At this point you’re wide awake and fully aware of what’s happening

“Yeah, we are! I mean, if you want to”

“Of course I do, love, I wouldn’t have mentioned it if I didn’t. You want to too, right?”

“Yeah!”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

You turn over to face him; he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you into his chest

“Well, it’s not the way I envisioned being proposed to, but let me tell you something, Holland. It was terribly romantic”

“Oh, thank God”

And he kisses you oh-so-tenderly before turning off the lamp

You’re about to fall asleep for the third time when Harry suddenly decides he owes it to you to give you a proper proposal

So he says:

“Hey.”

“hARRY ROBERT HOLLAND I AM TRYING TO SLEEP”

“I know, and you will, but… okay. I know we just talked about it, and I know I don’t have a ring yet, but...will you marry me?”

And your eyes fill with tears as you whisper out a “yes”

You’re crying, he’s crying, you’re both a weepy, joyful mess

“I’ll buy you a ring tomorrow”

“If you keep waking me up, you won’t live that long”

Harry just laughs as you snuggle back into his chest

“I love you so much, (y/n)”

“I love you, Harry. Now shut up and let me go to sleep, okay?”

And he chuckles again but lets you actually get to sleep this time

(He takes you out the very next day and buys you a ring)

Sam

So this boy - THIS BOY

He always figured he was better with music than with words

And he knows you play piano (especially since the two of you played that duet at the piano shop)

So when he proposes he decides to be slick about it

He spends weeks writing a song just for you

He makes Harry listen to it over and over

“Yep, Sam, sounds like a piano”

“Shut up, you dickhead”

“I’m kidding, bro, it’s beautiful. She’s going to love it when you play it for her”

Sam gets, just, the biggest smile on his face

“Oh, no, I’m not going to play it. She is”

Harry is so confused

He records himself playing it, then transcribes it into sheet music

Sam then sets it aside for a couple of days, then plays it off the sheet music to make sure it’s readable

(He makes a handwritten note at the end)

Then it comes time for the plan to be set into motion

You’re at his parents’ house - you, him, his brothers, and Harrison

Sam says: “Hey, (y/n), I wrote a song the other day”

“Oh, how cool!”

“It doesn’t have a title yet, but I was wondering if you’d like a go at playing it?”

You are flattered, honestly

“Y-yeah, sure”

So you take a seat at the piano and he sets the music in front of you

And you start playing it

Oh my goodness, it’s beautiful

Like the most beautiful song you’ve ever heard

Holy shit, he is SO talented, you think to yourself as you play it

Harry is smiling like an idiot

(You try not to think about that; he’s always smiling like an idiot)

Tom and Harrison are visibly moved by the piece

(Especially Tom, who is smiling tearfully and resting his head on Harrison’s shoulder; Harrison frowns and shoves him off)

Paddy looks a little bored, if we’re being honest

You finally reach the end and are about to play the final notes when you see something scrawled in Sam’s familiar handwriting

Your jaw drops and your hands fly away from the keys and up to your mouth, the last few notes remaining unplayed as you read the note to yourself

(y/n), will you marry me?

You look over to your left to see Sam kneeling with a ring in his hand, looking up at you hopefully

“Yes!” you manage to squeak out

He slides the ring onto your finger and sits on the bench next to you; you grab his face and kiss him deeply

Harry, Tom, and Harrison clap and cheer

But Paddy just sits up and says: “You gonna finish the song or what?”

Jacob

Jacob knew he wanted to do something special

It had to be larger than life

So, Vegas

Specifically, the fountains at the Bellagio

They run shows every 15 minutes in the evening

He uses his Marvel connections to make the 9 pm show finale unforgettable

You are transfixed by it

The water moving in time with the music is just amazing

“Oh, Jacob, this is the most awesome thing I've ever seen”

“Yeah, it's pretty dope, huh?”

You're watching it, totally awestruck, with Jacob's arms around your waist

“Oh, here comes the finale. (Y/n), you are gonna love this”

The song they're using: “Marry You” by Bruno Mars

You laugh

“Ah, because of all the quickie weddings” you muse

You're so engrossed in the show you don't notice Jacob isn't holding you anymore

Until about halfway through, when you feel him tap your shoulder

You turn to face him

And he immediately drops to his knee and sings along

“Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you”

You can't stop the tears of joy from falling down your cheeks

“What do you say, huh?”

You grin cheekily

“i think I wanna marry you too”

He slips the ring onto your finger and stands up, grabbing you by the waist and spinning you around happily

“Wanna go do it now?” He asks, between kisses

“Sure!”

So you go to the nearest all-night wedding chapel and elope

Tom is a little upset

“Now I don't get to give my awesome best man speech, you dicks”

But who cares

Because you and Jacob are married and you’re the happiest you’ve ever been

(You let Tom give it anyway the next time everyone gets together)

(And it's equal parts sweet, funny, and borderline inappropriate)

(Just like Tom)

[the-grumpy-panda]

That's Not A Snack Box...

THIS is a snack box! Oof. An extremely outdated and severely tired Crocodile Dundee joke? I'm sorry. So very sorry. But it's time for another snack box adventure. This time from Australia! Land of Brody Dalle! Land of Isla Fisher! Land of the Irukandji jellyfish! All beautiful and deadly in their own unique way. Thanks, Australia. This sugary, salty and unhealthy excursion is courtesy of Snack Crate. A bit pricier (although I did opt for the 'premium' box) than other boxes I've tried, but this box is quite hefty and fully loaded with a wide assortment, and for a few bucks more, they also offer a drink option, which I of course threw in as well. I want the whole experience. So as a (possibly) one time splurge, I feel alright with the price. For anyone not wanting to splurge big, there are a total of three box sizes to choose from. Of course, the lower the price, the less goodies you'll receive. Two day shipping is also already included in the price. Express shipping is also available if you simply can't wait two days. But I'll tell ya, I ordered my trial box on a Friday evening, and the very following Monday afternoon I had it in my hands. That's a hell of a fast turnaround, and I praise Snack Crate for that. The insides were wrapped in a pleasant and fun themed paper, also included was a sleeve of Australian based stickers (Fun! I'm not going to secretly decorate the desk of the girl I secretly like as if I were a ten year old...) and the always appreciated sturdy booklet with some fun Australia facts, information and a run down of all the treats included in the box. All it truly lacked was a hand written welcome and a picture from Rose Byrne to class it up a bit. Come on Australia, she just looks like a princess, put her to use! For ease and comfort, I'm just going to run down the treats in the order they appear in the booklet. So, put on some Colin Hay (an Australian transplant, but I'll allow it) music and settle in, we're off to a land of snacks atop the counter! -Violet Crumble! A crunchy honeycomb toffee center coated in milk chocolate. I was not expecting this to be as crunchy as it is. It bites as if it were frozen. Even with the density of the center, it melts nicely in your mouth. It's a very airy sort of nougat. For being as hard as it is, the airiness is still a perplexing note. This is a candy bar to study! It's also fortunately very tasty. A very smooth honey infused toffee flavor that is delicious and makes me wish more treats used this formula. A great way to start this box!

-Milo Snack! Crunchy cereal pieces mixed with chocolate powder and dipped in milk. Hmm. Cereal pieces is a vague description. Dipping in milk seems odd to me for some reason in a pre-packaged item. Can't specifically explain why. Let's open this oddity and see what we see. Upon opening I discover it looks like one of those ready to go milk and cereal bars available nowadays. This looks like Cocoa Krispies smooshed up and then yes, a layer on the bottom of whatever milk substance companies use to make sure milk congeals and sticks to the bottom of things. Unfortunately, this bar smells exactly like dried dog food, so my first, and very tiny, bite is taken with trepidation. Not a winner here. It tastes merely of very old and very stale Cocoa Puffs. -French Fries Original! Australia's original potato straw snack! Just a simple and classic salty potato chip flavor, but in straw form. These do have a pleasant crunch, though. -Tim Tam Original! Two chocolate cookie biscuits filled with chocolate cream and covered in chocolate. For all the chocoholics! The name Tim Tam seems familiar. Either I've had them before somewhere along the way, or they are so popular in Australia, knowledge of their existence has permeated out. Like Natalie Imbruglia. You know the name, but you can't remember when last you saw her and if you liked her music or not. Time to try it again. Ha. These deliver exactly what they promise. Chocolate on chocolate covered in chocolate. A nice cookie crunch that's not too hard, the middle is tasty and the covering chocolate is smooth, creamy and adds to the whole flavor. A good treat, but one that could also get old quickly. Eat in small doses. -Fantales! Smooth and velvety caramels, coated with milk chocolate. Quite dense. Be prepared to be gnawing on this little sucker for a couple of minutes. It's not great, but it's certainly not awful. Comparable to a Milk Dud I suppose, but with a higher chocolate component and better made. I'd eat one if offered, but not a caramel treat I'd actively seek out for myself. -Arnott's Shapes Pizza! Pizza flavored biscuits. Um, what exactly do pizzas in Australia look like? These crackers resemble coffins to me. Which is fine, I'm into it, but is this a general Australian pizza shape or am I just a rambling moron inadvertently insulting an entire country? I'm not really getting a "pizza" taste here. It's more like an oregano infused cracker. Not bad for what it is, but it's lacking something and doesn't deliver the promised flavor. Or maybe it does. Someone send over Karen Martini to make me an Australian pizza, please. Thanks. -Twisties Cheese! Apparently Australia's most popular snack. Corn and rice snack with cheese flavoring! Let's crack a bag! They look like Chee-Tos, but the taste is definitely different. This cheese coating seems a bit creamier or milkier and they're not as salty as Chee-Tos, which is a big bonus. All said and done, though, I like these but I don't love them.

-All the snacking has made me thirsty. Luckily I opted for the drink! Here comes Solo Original Lemon! A refreshing drink made with 5% crushed lemons! The can says so! And it absolutely shows in the flavor. This is not just another "lemon-lime" sugared up soda. Oh, no. This is like a very genuine and nicely home made lemonade with some carbonation thrown in. I dig it. It is refreshing and tasty. Back to the foods! -Chomp Caramel! A crispy wafer layered with caramel then coated with chocolate. I have nothing else to compare this to other than a Charleston Chew, but it is most assuredly not a Charleston Chew. It bears the same shape, the consistency is close, but the flavor of the Chomp is far superior and the addition of a thin wafer layer gives the Chomp bar a very nice and welcome crunch and added fun element. The caramel here is very smooth, and it eats easily, as opposed to a Charleston Chew trying to yank your fillings out. A solid winner, here.

-Allen's Pineapples! Pineapple shaped gummy candy! A bit more solid than gummy candies I'm used to, and the pineapple flavor is very subtle. Another not great but not bad candy. Pairs well with the Solo Lemon drink, though, for a weird sort of tropical taste trip. -Wagon Wheels! Marshmallow filling between two soft biscuits and dipped in chocolate. Sounds like a Moon Pie to me! Let's see if we'll notice any differences. It's certainly a lot thinner than a Moon Pie. The cookie, while soft, still has a bit of a welcome crunch to it, the chocolate is very chocolatey and what I didn't know at first was this Wagon Wheel also has a thin layer of jam within. It doesn't say what kind of jam, so it could be Vegemite jam. But since my American taste buds aren't heaving, it's safe to assume it's some sort of fruit jam. I like this a lot, and far better than the Moon Pies I'm used to, which admittedly I haven't eaten one in probably twenty years. Just not a fan. The Wagon Wheel also gets to be too much of a good thing. A mini Wagon Wheel would be a perfect serving size. -Milky Way! Yep, a Milky Way! But the Australian version is only filled with a light and sweet nougat. Which means it's a 3 Musketeers bar. Nice try Australia! I'm on to your ruse. You owe me one Abbie Cornish. -Iced Vovo! A biscuit topped with pink fondant, a strip of raspberry filling and sprinkled with coconut. These are a beautiful cookie. Ready made for presentations and for putting on airs. If you were fifteen and had no idea how to impress anyone, that is. And that's not a slam against the cookie... but it is still just a cookie. Taste wise, they are sadly just okay. I like the cookie part, I like the raspberry stripe, but the fondant and the coconut just don't work and those two items should never be paired together to begin with. But I'm going to place the majority of the blame on the fondant. A raspberry coconut cookie could have been lovely. Fondant is... it's just somehow not right. Ever. I know you know what I mean. How cake makers get away with using it so much is a mystery to me. -Chokito! A Milk chocolate bar filled with caramel and crispy rice. Or as the packaging proclaims... "Chewy Caramel Fudge! Crunchy Balls! & Loads Of Chocolate!" This doesn't quite work. It tastes like all the ingredients are quite cheap, and seems like a drunk babysitter just dumped leftover pieces from other treats into bowl and gave it to you to shut you up for a minute. This candy bar made me sad. -Cherry Ripe! A mix of cherry, coconut and dark chocolate! Australia's oldest candy bar! I would have been much better served by this were it bite size pieces instead of a whole bar. It's good, I enjoy it, but it has far too much coconut. The cherry notes are wonderful when they finally fight their way through the coconut. -Peppermint Crisp. Milk chocolate bar filled with thin cylinders of peppermint flavored toffee pieces. Those who know know I'm no fan or friend of mint, but I'll try this bar all the same. Nope. Nope Nope. Nope. It's like a candy cane covered in chocolate and the inside color is that of mouth wash. Nope Nope Nope. Don't want. -Caramello Koala! A chocolate bar filled with caramel. Pretty direct. And exactly what you'd expect. It's made by Cadbury, so it's safe to assume most of us have had a chocolate and caramel product by Cadbury at some point, or at least something strikingly similar. No muss or fuss here, it is what it claims to be and serves its purpose.

-Cheezels! Corn and rice rings with a zesty cheddar cheese sauce! Very similar in taste to Chee-Tos Paws but a bit crunchier. Not bad. Slightly too salty for me, all the same, though. -Cadbury Picnic! Crispy wafer with caramel, peanuts and raisins covered in chocolate. A very hard candy bar. Watch your teeth with these. Taste a lot like a frozen Baby Ruth bar somehow. It's alright, but it's hardness level wouldn't make me a repeat buyer.

-Golden Vines Anzac Biscuits! Just a big ol' honking cookie. Apparently these were sent to Australian soldiers in WW1 as a reminder of home. This might be one leftover from then. It's hard, it's dry, and it's only remotely sweet. Tastes like an oatmeal cookie that only used honey for sweetening. All that being said, I can honestly see the appeal to this cookie. Once I swallowed my initial bite and set it aside, the flavors really took hold and I want another bite. It's very large, though, so I imagine this one cookie will last a few days, if not a week. Which makes their part of soldier history make a lot more sense, as well. This seemingly bland and innocuous little cookie is the surprising little cookie that could. Thumbs up. -Wizz Fizz Sherbet! A sweet powder that fizzes in your mouth! Thanks Wizz Fizz. I am now coated in your powdery wares because opening this little pack was like opening a gag gift. Despite my efforts to prevent such a thing, the moment the package got the tiniest tear, its contents flew everywhere. So now I must appear to be a messy baker covered in powdered sugar, or some sort of coke fiend who knocked over his mirror. Including a tiny spoon in your packaging just the right size for a "sniff" isn't helping. Are you trying to be the "cool" "street cred" candy maker? Plus, your product doesn't fizz whatsoever in my mouth. It sat there, lumping up like a gob of remorse. This product sucks. I hate everything about it. -Last in line for this sojourn is Allen's Chico's! Cocoa flavored gummy candies! Gelatin and cocoa just do not mix. It's like uncooked brownie batter left atop your fridge for two weeks. Dang. Ended on a sad note. Just the way things go sometimes. Might be a good time to revisit the 1996 Australian bio-pic "Shine." Or perhaps 1978's "Patrick." Thanks again, Australia. Until next time, I am momentarily The Grumpy Koala. Koala's sleep up to twenty hours a day! Waking to eat, and "socialize." Now that's a life. Cheers, mates!

[svetlanabelikova]

JOURNALING V

content warning:

weight loss/talking about weight

medical/surgical discussions

it has been awhile since i updated anyone casually interested in this part of my life, hasn’t it. 

well, part of that is b/c i’ve been busy. holidays and everything, also i’ve started a work out routine, but i’ll get into that in a moment. also i didn’t have any doctor appointments for like, literally 3 weeks straight, which was nice. much better than speed running it like i had been.

today is 11.11.19, (make a wish if you believe in that sort of thing) and i’ve decided i no longer want surgery.

let me back up here.

so, let me re-read my last post just to remember what i need to fill in... ah yes, the fun i had w/ the x-ray. that feels like it happened months and months ago.

well, since then , i’ve been trying to get my life a lot more organized. i’ve started a (bullet) journal (mostly b/c i love watching the aesthetic set-up videos on youtube) and in it have been tracking my progress by the numbers. for the first few weeks of trying to lose weight, i was weighing myself every other day, sometimes more than that. i became obsessive and felt like the numbers weren’t enough. i wasn’t losing enough and one weekend i had gained back like 1.7 lbs or something. but seeing any increase in the numbers upset me. even though when we are talking about 1 or 2 pounds in someone that’s got over 300 of them, it isn’t the same as if someone is more like a buck fifty. 

being able to put it down somewhere physical and then keep a log so i can see the numbers adding up or going down in a catalog has been very helpful for my mental health. having just the numbers on a paper has allowed me to watch my weight go from 349 in the beginning of october to where it currently is (or was as of 11.6 i only weigh myself every other wednesday. why wednesday and why every other week, i don’t know. it just seemed like more than once a month but less than every week. a good distance between not enough and too much) which is 329 lbs. 

when put to paper, 20 pounds in a month is, i think, great. i know everyone says “oh the first 10-12 pounds comes off so easily!” but not from where i’m standing. i have been working for those 20 pounds. 

speaking of working, let’s dig into that piece of proverbial pie i teased earlier. 

i have a work-out routine. which is the first time i’ve said that in,,, probably ever. i know while in school i technically had one in p.e. class but let’s be honest. i did not give it my all and would take any opportunity to skip if i could. now it is just me, alone w/ my dark synthwave music and the pedometer built into pokemon go.

yeah, i could download a real work-out app that would track this stuff for me, but my phone’s memory is full to bursting and listen, i need to walk my buddy and eggs. i’ve got friends on pokemon go that need gifts and it is already built-in w/ this new adventure sync, so might as well use what i have.

so, i work out every monday, wednesday and friday night. i usually leave the house a little before 9pm and try to be back a little after 10pm. just about an hour. in that hour i walk down my street (which is pretty long imo), around the corner to the pokestop at the park, around the park, back down my street and return home. in the beginning i just walked around my street, or just to the stop (which is 0.7km from my front door) but as i’ve built up stamina, i’ve been able to walk all the way around the park. actually my goal for november, is to start walking around the park twice a night, at least once a week. 

on average it is about 3,400 steps(or roughly 3.5 kms) and an hour of activity, 3 nights a week. i doesn’t seem like a lot but:

1. it is an hour of cardio every other day that i was not doing before, and 2. additional movement that adds up

i walked a combined 40,881 steps in october 2019 while working out. that is on top of whatever else i did while shopping or playing w/ the kids or what have you. 

and i plan to add more. i found a great video on youtube that is all about basic, beginner yoga for curvy people. the instructor talks about doing yoga to your size and abilities and not letting anyone tell you that you can’t do yoga b/c you’re fat. i don’t buy into the idea that yoga can directly help you loose large amounts of weight, but what it will do is help build up muscle in my legs and relieve tension in my back, which will then allow me to walk longer and w/ less pain. after forty minutes or so of fast walking, my knee starts to scream and my back burns. hopefully by adding in this yoga that concentrates on thighs, calves and back, where most big people have issues, it will help me target issue areas, deal w/ them in a low-impact way, then save energy and build up stamina to push myself in other ways.

i also want to eventually start adding weight training into my work-out routine.  gods, it still sounds so bougee to say i have a ‘work out routine’, but there you have it. 

i’ve also begun to overhaul my eating habits. for breakfast, 6 days a week, i have a protein shake. water and soy milk mixed w/ a plant-based protein powder and an additive of instant coffee. sugar free, dairy free. and awful. i hate them. i’ve tried a few different ones and they are all fucking awful, but i drink them anyway. 

i also usually eat a salad or soup for lunch. i’ve been finding a lot of really great salad combinations on top of rediscovering my love of salads. when i first went vegetarian, i was big into salads but eventually, it became easier to buy those premade, frozen veggie-friendly meals. like all that Amys’ food or the MorningStar brand (which still conjures ideas of satan-worshipping vegans, but hey, i can dig it). i’m trying to find pre-paired salad meals. i found this really good asian inspired salad that had friend wonton strips and a wonderful sesame seed sauce. so good. each bag can make 3 lunches for me, so it is great to stretch them out. also did you know that most cans of soup are technically 2 servings? i didn’t.

that was probably my biggest problem w/ food that i’ve addressed: what constitutes an actual serving size? 

before last month, i assumed a serving size was what looked right. like in the case of the soup, i assumed if it all fit in a soup bowl, it was 1 serving. 1 can of soup can fit in 1 soup bowl so it would make sense, right? nope. 1 serving of canned soup is actually about half the can or roughly 1 cup of liquid. which doesn’t seem like a lot. 

so i’ve stuck to salads. 2 and a half cups of salad is like, i don’t know, 35 cal. so, i can go hog wild, prepare a giant ramen bowl full of salad w/ carrots, onions, a sprinkle of slivered almonds, a splash of lite raspberry vinaigrette, and some sliced, uncured ham and that is lunch, baby!

dinner is pretty untouched, other than i eat on children’s plates now. i heard somewhere from some dietian on a show or something that eat on smaller plates, like children’s plates, helps trick your mind that you are eating more than you actually are. your eyes see a plate full up w/ food rather than eating a little food on a large plate, it is the same amount of “little food” but looks more filling on a little plate. i don’t know if it is true, but i feel like it helps me portion food out better. if a helping of potatoes can’t fit in the little sectioned off children’s plates, it is probably too much potatoes. rip

dessert has been downsized, if i have it at all. 3 thin oreos rather than like, a bowl of cereal. a 1/4 of soy ice cream rather than however much i can pile into a small bowl. 

so that is the update: breakfast is a protein shake lunch is soup or salad dinner is served on a child’s plate dessert is 3 thin oreos. 

maybe this week i will start keeping a calorie count, just to get an idea of what my average is compared to the 2,000 cal/day suggestion.

ok, so that was already a lot, but i did mention that i had suddenly taken a large left turn when it came to the surgery. my last journal update was all about how i was excited to blind, no walkthrough, speedrun this so i could get cleared for the surgery on like january 1, 2020. well, ha ha, nevermind. 

this latest class i went to was enlightening. i mean they all have been so far, for different reasons and in different ways. the first class was about what kind of choices we had. did we want to take mediation? did we want to go to food addicts anonymous? did we want surgery? so this new class i went to on 11.7, was a follow-up to the surgical path.

i was already on the fence about disfiguring my insides. the idea of slicing off 2/3 my stomach rearranging my intestines already sounds horrifyingly frankenstineian to me. it sounds like something midevil doctors would come up w/ while snorting morphine or something. but, i was assured that it was the best option, that it was incredibly safe, it was done all the time, it had great success, etc. 

i allowed myself to be talked into it. i relented and bought into the dream they were spinning for me. 

not after this class. the amount of insanity that is involved, even beyond, again, the whole cutting off and throwing away 2/3 of your stomach, there is some buck wild rules you have to abide after the surgery. i wrote them down (which i was the only one that did. in a class of 9-10 people, i was the only person taking notes and the only person horrified by what i was hearing):

- lose hair first 3-9 months (me, a person w/ thin hair: oh yikes) - will need to take as many as 12 vitamins a day (me, a person that hates taking any medication) - will not be able to take any medication other than liquid/pills will pass thru tiny stomach too fast to be effective (me, a person that hates liquid medication w/ a passion), only tylenol allowed; all medication from doctors must be liquid or chewable - 70% of patients need a follow-up surgery (WHAT) - no smoking (that’s fine) no alcohol (hang on....) after surgery. ever - ideal meals after surgery: 60-100g protein, 40-80g produce, no carbs, no sugar (wait...) - eat a meal every 4 hr.s or so (that seems like overkill) - no carbonated drinks, no drinks w/ sugar/cal (but i love my fizzy drinks :c this is bullshit) - chew each bite 20-30 times, every meal should last a half hour (that’s normal for me anyway, i’m a slow eater but idk how i’m supposed to chew soup 20-30 times) - 30 min.s of activity/day (got that covered, chief) - go to support groups (no thanks, don’t wanna listen to other ppl complain and the idea of being open to other ppl,,, in real life, where they can see me? absolutely not, how dare you) - 64oz of liquid/day (is that not normal? i already drink that much, if not more) - only able to drink a shotglass amount of liquid at a time or risk vomiting (WAIT) - drink every 15 min.s, possibly even during the night (HANG ON) - no drinks w/ meals, stop drinking about 30 min.s before meal and don’t resume until 30 min.s after meal otherwise it will wash food away too quickly to be absorbed by tiny stomach (HOLD THE HECKIN’ PHONE)

at w/ that, the instructor ended the class b/c there were no questions. i was in shock. all i wanted to do was be like those tik tok kids that recreate meme images but i wanted to become the living embodiment of this gif:

literally, i looked over at my mom, who was sipping on a soda and scrolling through facebook for most of the class and went “nevermind, i don’t want surgery”.

i think she thought i was joking. she laughed and waved it off, but the... the existential dread i felt in that moment. this,,,, this was what old howard was shooting for when he wrote about all that cosmic horror. this feeling that i was the only one seeing the insanity in that classroom.... i was the only one that realized that it was madness. how would a person drink 64oz od liquid a day, broken down into 1oz at a time, but not w/n an hour of eating and also having to eat every four hours. that means you’d have to somehow shove 64oz, broken down to 4oz an hour, for 3 hours, then not drink anything for an hour, over only 16 hours. you couldn’t drink anything for 4 of those hours while you eat your tiny baby meals for your tiny baby stomach. i’m not great at math but it doesn’t seem physically possible to me and yet everyone in the class were just nodding their heads like “yes, of course old chap. perfectly reasonable.”

i’d rather continue to starve myself, and work-out. theoretically, if i continue to lose about 20 pounds a month, i will lose my goal weight by may 2020. sure it would be faster w/ surgery. it might be technically easier w/ surgery but everything in my mind tells me that the surgery is wrong. that it isn’t sustainable. i don’t want this surgery and i certainly don’t want the second stage of this surgery 10 yr.s down the road. if you think cutting 2/3 of your stomach out is upsetting, the image of the second step surgery in which they take that rough banana shape of a stomach and stretch it out into what is effectively, A STRAW. 

A STRAW.

and once more: A STRAW!!

i could get behind having a banana-shaped stomach, but a straw in which the food literally just,,, falls through you is grotesque. 

gonna be a big, fatty NOPE from me, chief. hard pass. 

[draconian-overlord]

Do all of the asks. All of them.

YOU TRASH BAG UGH FINE I’LL DO ALL OF THEM.

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

It does not exist and may never

french vanilla:

how old are you?

My existence exceeds the age of the universe

cotton candy:

three places you want to travel to?

Paris, Alaska, and Japan

strawberry:

a language you wish you could speak?

Sign language

coffee:

favorite cosmetic brands?

KVD, Urban Decay, and Shiro Cosmetics

mint chocolate chip:

indoors or outdoors?

Although I love the outdoors, the indoors has fewer ants

cookie dough:

do you play any instruments?

I play classical piano, and know one guitar riff

rocky road:

favorite songs at the moment?

Little Earthquakes by Tori Amos

butter pecan:

favorite songs for life?

Um, the same?

cheesecake:

what’s your zodiac sign?

VIRGO

toasted coconut:

the beach or the pool?

The beach because my dog loves to play in the sand

chocolate chip:

what’s your most popular post?

IDK THERE’S TOO MANY

bubblegum:

books or movies?

Mostly books, but movies can be great too

pistachio:

manga or anime?

Both are great- stories with more action work really well with anime since they are more exhilarating to see, but more complex stories are better told in manga because of their ongoing nature

salted caramel:

favorite movies?

UGHH I HATE QUESTIONS LIKE THESE. I literally remember nothing that I watch; if I have a favorite, it is somewhere deep within the void that is my mind. I know I loved the Falsettos movie, though!

birthday cake:

favorite books?

ANOTHER ONE. Okay, well, I love series, especially fantasy series. So my favorites are the Riordan books (there are too many to list), the Harry Potter books, and the LOTR books. I also like the Sisters of Versailles series (warning, they’re SIN), and probably many more I can’t remember at the moment.

moose tracks: (wtf is this a real ice cream flavor???????)

favorites for manga?

OKAY THIS I KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE A LIST-- I should do that for other stuff. Anyway, I love Black Butler, Yona of the Dawn, Princess Jellyfish, and Abide in the Wind (although that’s a manhwa, but oh well).

orange sherbet:

favorites for anime?

One Punch Man, Shiki, Orange, From the New World, Psycho Pass, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Nana, Boys over Flowers, and Sailor Moon

peanut butter:

favorite academic subject?

AP Biology is the most wonderful subject to ever exist, I looovved it

black raspberry:

do you have any pets?

A DOGGO WHO I LOVE MORE THAN THIS PLANE OF EXISTENCE

mango:

when and why did you start your blog?

When: July 2016

Why: Literally a whim after you told me to, Maia

mocha:

ideal weather conditions?

THUNDERSTORMS ARE HELLA FUN

black cherry:

four words that describe you?

Spontaneous, sensitive, small, and sordid

neapolitan:

things that stress you out?

Everything I get stressed when people tell me I need to fix something, when I’m separated from people I care about, when I’m in a room with strangers, when a room is really cold and has harsh lighting, when I’m walking down a narrow bright hallway, when I suddenly feel detached from my surroundings for absolutely no reason, when I lie awake in bed for hours trying to sleep but being distracted by thoughts, and when my shoes don’t fit properly.

raspberry truffle:

favorite kind of music?

I love Chopin’s Nocturnes, they awaken my inner witch, but I also love ACDC and assorted rock bands, as well as Tori Amos-esque pop, so my taste is kind of all over the place

chocolate marshmallow:

favorite brands of candy?

I love Cadbury chocolate since it’s literally all milk & sugar. Lindt truffles are universally acknowledged as heavenly, and Kit-Kats are pretty great. I’m not really a fan of hard candy, but blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers are cool.

toffee:

a card game that you’re good at?

Um. None of them? Maybe those memory games, I guess.

lemon custard:

do you eat breakfast?

I do! I’m usually STARVING in the morning, so I’ll have a bowl of cereal or toast, nothing too heavy. If I’m not hungry that early, I might have a fancier brunch later, like waffles or pancakes.

dark chocolate:

turn ons?

Oh my god. Um. Long, luxurious curls are pretty hot. As well as nice lips. Uhh, I like pretty clothes too?

fudge:

turn offs?

A lack of hygiene, definitely. Also, being nasty and a just plain awful person are clearly turn offs.

peach:

how do you relax?

Two words: I don’t. But, I do try to drink tea and take long baths, they sort of help.

praline:

a popular book you haven’t read yet?

The rest of the TMI series. I read book one, was severely put off by the incest, the blehhh writing, and the annoying protagonist, and never picked up another one.

superman:

do you like sweaters?

OH MY GOD I LOVE SWEATERS SO MUCH YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ONE OF THE REASONS I HATE SUMMER SO MUCH IS BECAUSE I CAN’T WEAR SWEATERS.

cherry:

do you drink tea or coffee?

Both! But I prefer tea for the taste. If I’m really tired, though, I might have coffee.

dulce de leche:

an instrument you wish you could play?

I really want to learn how to play the violin! It sounds so beautiful, and it’s an instrument I can actually bring with me places. Pianos are a little difficult to carry around.

blackberry:

have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

SO MANY TIMES!! I laugh all the time, at anything, and then end up laughing so hard I cry ;v;. It’s really a problem when I’m wearing mascara!

ginger:

a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

Hmm, I think that NOT MESSING UP YOUR PLACE ON A BLOG WHEN YOU TRY TO REBLOG SOMETHING WOULD BE A GREAT FEATURE, NO???

blueberry lemon:

favorite blogs?

I GUESS that I’ll have to go with @lareinedelapoubelle (this is coercion i did not add her in of my own will i swear it), @a-million-stories, @space-rocks-trash-bin, @dracos-at-pigfarts, @astrae, @thebootydiaries, @pjoisboss, @writing-prompt-s, @zephyrine-gale, @norindraws, @astrorhea, @normal-horoscopes, @qiu-jin, @mysticmessengerincorrectquotes, @anyway-i-love-vanderwood, @lizard-is-writing, @missthingmessenger, @promiscuous-jalapeno, @cuipid, @artcemis, @myetie, @aquariumprincess23, @caffeinewitchcraft, and @jintii (I LOVE ALL OF YOU YOU’RE SO WONDERFUL ❤❤❤)

almond:

favorite mean girls quote?

WE SHOULD TOTALLY JUST STAB CAESAR!!!

butterscotch:

what color are your nails right now?

They are currently a sienna-reddish-brown.

cinnamon:

have you ever been confessed to?

Nope.

blue moon:

have you ever had a crush on someone?

Yep.

cappuccino crunch:

do you take naps?

Nahh, I can never sleep during the day even when I need it.

mint:

the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?

I once tripped going up the stairs at a family friend’s house, and found myself rolling sideways from the top of the staircase I had just walked all the way back down. Unfortunately, I have still not lived that down.

brownie batter:

do you like sushi?

Yeah, it’s pretty great!

key lime:

where do you want to be right now?

In a tangled affair with a balding French Canadian waiter named Lemon. He kisses my hand, and we run away across the seas into eternal darkness.

red velvet:

do you wear prescription glasses?

I wear prescription colored contacts, so technically, I guess.

green tea:

favorite flavors of ice cream?

Cookie dough is love, cookie dough is life. I also love vanilla fudge swirl and birthday cake.

[shannrussell-blog1]

As hikers we tend to spend our money and put our energy into the gear we will need for the hike. We will buy the best backpack, best trail shoes/boots, the latest lightweight tent, and stove but when it comes to food, I see a lot of hikers at camp sitting down to 2-minute noodles and continental pasta packs!

While this type of food is okay every now and again, the most important piece of equipment we should be investing in is our bodies! Why would you want the vehicle that is getting you along the track to not run at its best?

You need to fuel your body and keep it running at its optimum level because if it breaks down then you are off the trail. If your tent rips or your backpack breaks you can fix it and move on, but if your body breaks then your hiking trip is over.

Invest in your body by eating healthy food on the trail. 

So, what can you do?

There are lots of things you can do to get your body in top gear. You can just be healthy in your day to day life, exercise and prepare your body by training. But, when on the trail, you want it to keep running well, so you can do that by feeding it healthy food.

Now I’m not a nutritionist, I haven’t studied any form of this, I am just a mum, a long-time hiker, and someone who tries to maintain a healthy body.

I would suggest that if you are concerned with getting the appropriate nutrients for your body, or have special dietary requirements, to consult a health professional or nutritionist.

Healthy food will help keep your body in good condition.

Dehydrating food for hiking

Homemade dehydrated food is what I have personally tried and tested throughout my hiking life, and is what I’m keen to share with you all in this article.

Dehydrating meals is a great way to preserve your food for longer, as well as lighten the load of your pack. I try not to use prepacked foods where possible, however, sometimes it can be unavoidable especially if you’re on the trail for a long time.

I’ve been testing out homemade dehydrated meals throughout the years. 

How to use a food dehydrator

I am not going to go into step by step instructions on using your dehydrator, as this would be a whole book. But, I will share a few ideas to show you how easy it is. Dehydrating is so much fun and very addictive once you get started. You will find that you can dehydrate almost anything!

The most important thing you should remember is if it has fat it probably is NOT okay to dehydrate. This is because you can’t dehydrate fats, they won’t break down so they will turn rancid.

Once you get the hang of it, you’ll find that dehydrating is quite fun. 

How to dehydrate vegetables

When I’m hiking I crave vegetables, so I try to add as many vegetables into my dehydrated food as I can, even adding in veggies to my simple spaghetti bolognese.

Dehydrating vegetables is so easy to do and requires little to no preparation at all. Some do work better if you blanch first though, but for most, it doesn’t matter. If you haven’t got the choice of fresh vegetables then frozen works just as good, so there are no excuses for not getting your veg!

Tip: Be sure you cut up what you want to dehydrate into sizes no bigger than 1cm-1cm, any bigger and you’ll find it just takes too long to dehydrate. Some dehydrators have a temperature control, so you’ll find the soft vegetables are best to dehydrate at a lower temperature so they don’t dry out too quickly and turn crispy. Unless you want to make veggie chips (yum) then crank it on up.

Whether it’s for veggie chips, or for meals – vegetables are easy to dehydrate.

My favourite vegetables to dehydrate

Snow peas

Capsicum

Grated carrot

Zucchini

Mushrooms

Sweet potato (chips)

Mushrooms are one of my favourites to add to my trail meals. 

To blanch or not to blanch?

What is blanching? Why blanch? Do you have to blanch or not? How do you blanch? These are good questions and I hope to shed a little bit of light on it for you.

What is blanching?

Blanching is a process of basically boiling or steaming the food for a short minute before plunging it into a bowl of icy water.

Once the moisture has been removed, the ingredients will be lighter and more compact. 

Why should I blanch food before I dehydrate it?

Blanching vegetables will not only keep the rich colour of the food, but it can also remove any grit, dirt and organisms from the surface. This process also will help destroy an enzyme in the food that can give off a bitter taste after you have dehydrated it.

The best thing is it also shortens the cooking time at camp which means you’ll use less fuel and you’ll get to eat your dinner quicker. The biggest reason people like to blanch is that it helps seal in the flavours and vitamins.

Now blanching is not necessary, it’s down to personal preference. I find it helps keep the colour of the vegetables, and that some flavours are stronger if first blanched before dehydrating.

Which vegetables don’t need blanching?

Onions

Mushrooms

Capsicum

Mushrooms are one of the veggies you don’t need to blanch.

which vegetables can I blanch if I want to?

Carrots

Eggplant

Peas

Squash

Broccoli

Asparagus

You really should consider blanching vegetables if dehydrating raw, unless you want to make veggie chips… I personally don’t.

Potato

Sweet potato

Broccoli is an ingredient you can blanch before putting into your dehydrator. 

How to make veggie chips

I like to nibble on veggie chips whilst hiking and at camp… I use sweet potato and zucchini and carrots but you can be creative. With a peeler, I peel the veggies nice and thin then place onto the drying trays and dehydrate at the highest temp (70°C) for around 12 hours, turning over halfway.

When they are completely dehydrated they are crispy.

Try: adding salt and garlic powder to them before dehydrating for extra flavour.

Carrot chips are a delicious snack for the trail. 

How to dehydrate fruit

I love fruit and I always buy an orange and a cucumber when I hit a town on a trail. The cucumber will last a few days and I munch away on it while walking. Cucumbers might not be full of calories, but they’re high in vitamins and minerals and great for hydration. The orange is the same and really makes a nice change from drinking water all the time.

I, however, eat the orange a little differently. This is because I use it to help make a yummy cake for dessert at camp! That’s right, I bake a cake at camp. It is such a treat and makes the other hikers jealous.

Slice some strawberries, dehydrate them and use them in your breakfasts on the trail. 

Getting fruity

You can dehydrate all types of fruit to have as your snacks or even put into your meals. I often will have stewed fruit with custard at night or even for breakfast. You can add it to your cereal or oats, make fruit rolls, or even fruit chips.

Some fruits need to be treated first by using an acid-based fruit juice to help prevent it from turning brown. I squirt these fruits with either lemon or lime juice, but pineapple juice can work too.

Tip: do not slice your fruit too thick, this will make the drying process far too long, so slice thinly for better results.

Fruit that you should treat before dehydrating

Apples

Bananas

Pears

If you don’t have the fresh fruit you can use frozen ones. I often do this for my blueberries or raspberries. Don’t be afraid to experiment and get creative as it is a lot of fun and so yummy when on the trail.

Pears will need to be treated with citrus juice before dehydrating. 

How to make fruit roll ups

Even if you aren’t hiking these make the best treats and it’s a great healthy snack option. Get creative with what you make, I personally love the combo of watermelon and pear!

To make these you just blend all the fruit you want to use together into a puree, spread it evenly over your solid dehydrator tray and pop it into the dehydrator. If you don’t have a solid tray or want more, then I use parchment paper onto my other trays, and it works just as well.

When it is around halfway done you will begin to see that it starts to become leatherier. At this point, I peel it off and flip it over to help dry it evenly. Once it’s complete, you can peel off and cut to size – ready to eat. Kids also love them, even the older ones!

Once they’re completely cooled off, I recommend storing them in a sealed airtight container or a zip lock bag.

Other yummy fruit snacks

Fruit chips (the same way I make veggie chips)

Stew fruit with custard (dehydrate your favourite fruit and rehydrate with extra water and cook at camp till stewed).

Fruit chips are just as delicious as veggie chips! 

Rice and pasta

Rice is one of the most popular and oldest grains used by mankind and a staple in the diet of most cultures. It’s inexpensive, lightweight, extremely versatile and easy to cook.

Pasta and rice are a must for any hiker’s pack as they’re a great form of carbohydrate which will help you fuel your body, giving you the energy to keep going.

To pre-cook or not?

I tend to pre-cook my rice and pasta then put it in the dehydrator. Sounds silly I know, but it really does make the cooking time at camp a whole lot quicker which means you are using less water and less fuel – which is always a good thing!

Tip: You can get quick cooking rice from the supermarket, (this has been cooked then dehydrated) or pre-cooked rice from the supermarket that isn’t dehydrated (this is heavier to carry, however).

Pre-cooking ingredients such as rice and pasta will save you time later on. 

Ideas for rice and pasta

Whether it’s breakfast, lunch or dinner, it doesn’t matter, rice and pasta make great options for hiking. I always have rice for my breakfast and throw in loads of dehydrated fruit and mixed nuts with a squirt of condensed milk. So yummy!

At night I like to have a stir-fry using lots of dehydrated vegetables, Italian pasta dishes loaded with mushrooms, vegetables and meat – which you can’t go wrong with!

My favourite rice and pasta meals

Creamy porcini pasta

Vegetarian risotto

Pesto pasta

A delicious Italian risotto goes down a treat after a long day of hiking.

Tips on how to dehydrate your own soup

The dehydrating process makes it easy for you to create and have your own homemade yummy soup on the trail. Whether it is a chicken or beef broth, veggie or noodle soup – you can have it all!

Tip: I sometimes grate my vegetables then dehydrate. Not only does the food dehydrate quicker, it also rehydrates quicker.

Use less water

When I make a pot of my soup at home for the trail I use less water during the cooking process because this makes the soup more concentrated and easier for the dehydration process. Remember that when you do rehydrate your soup you can add as much water as you want. Once the soup is made, you then spread it over the solid drying trays.

Pumpkin soup is a recipe that’s perfect for the colder months. 

Split it up into serving sizes

Tip: I put my serving size on each tray to make it easier to know how much to pack per meal. Spread as thinly as you can so the drying time is reduced, and I always just use my highest temperature (70°C), which can take around 10 – 12 hours, but this is very much depending on the type of soup you are dehydrating.

Blend it into a puree first

For example, my pumpkin soup takes around 10 hours, (as I puree it first), where my chicken curry and vegetable takes 12 hours as there are chunky bits of vegetable and chicken in it. Tip: Blending your soup to a puree is great for quick rehydrating and once your soup is dehydrated, put it back into the blender to blend into a fine powder.

A bowl of piping hot noodle soup is a yummy treat on a cold evening at camp. 

Only vacuum seal it when it’s completely cool

Once the soup is dehydrated I then vacuum seal it.

Tip: Do not put your dehydrated food in any sealed container until it has completely cooled off because if you don’t wait, this will create moisture (defeats the purpose of dehydrating) and will shorten the shelf life of your soups by causing it to turn bad.

You can also store in a zip lock bag in a dry cool place like the pantry.

My favourite soup recipes for hiking

Chicken curry and vegetable soup

Chicken noodle soup

Pumpkin curry soup

Warm up around camp with a hearty soup recipe. 

How to dehydrate meat 

When you first start to dehydrate meat, it can be a scary process as you don’t want to end up sick on the trail. The main thing to remember is to make sure it is completely dehydrated and choose meats that are of a lean cut with little to no fat. Be sure to slice your meats small to help it dehydrate quicker.

I find that mincemeat works the best for dehydrating. On average, meat will take around 12 hours to dehydrate and I always do so at the higher temperature setting.

Tip: I place the food into my dehydrator right before bed so once you wake in the morning it is done and ready for storage.

Once you try it, you can get more confident dehydrating meat. 

How do you know if the meat is fully dehydrated?

When it is fully dry it is like a pebble, and if you squeeze it, it’s should feel hard not soft.

Storing your dehydrated meat

Storing your dehydrated meat correctly and safely will help your meat last. A safe guideline for you to go by would be to consume your dehydrated meat within the first 6 months, providing you store it correctly. I personally have gone longer, but that’s a judgement call you need to make on your own.

Once you’ve completely dehydrated your meat then you need to store it in airtight containers. You can use ziplock bags or vacuum seal it for storage.

Tip: Be sure, before you handle the food, your hands are completely clean and free of any oils. I would recommend you use food safe gloves as well.

Store your dehydrated meat in a dark cool place like your pantry. Some people prefer to store in the freezer as they say it lasts longer. It is recommended before placing in the freezer to vacuum seal the meat first to avoid freezer burn. This is a personal choice, so it may take some experimentation to work out what works best for you

A hearty meal of rehydrated beef hotpot. 

How to dehydrate your chicken or beef

You MUST cook your chicken/beef first! I use 75g of fresh chicken/beef mince per meal, but use the amount that suits you. I know some hikers I meet on the track say that they easily double that!

Tip: don’t use oils when cooking.

Uncooked chicken/beef mince weight is around 75g and reduces to around 14g once dehydrated. Not bad!

Cook your mince before you dehydrate it, and then it’s ready to add to your meal. 

Beef

Beef is easier to rehydrate than chicken and offers more flexibility as you can put it in meals such as casseroles or stews, providing a hearty meal on the track that warms you up on cold and wet days.

Chicken

Unlike other meat, my experience dehydrating chicken has not always been successful, to say the least. Once dehydrated, the chicken will often become dry, stringy or chewy when rehydrated. I use chicken mince as it dehydrates quickly and re-hydrates back even quicker and is just as moist.

Chicken mince is best for dehydrating – then you can add it to a pasta or rice dish. 

Dehydrating casseroles and stews

When I am cooking for the family dinner I will make extra and put the leftovers into the dehydrator overnight, so by the time I wake up in the morning, its ready to be packed away. This is the easiest method as you really are not adding any extra effort to your daily life, so there are no excuses to say ‘I don’t have time’.

Tip: be sure when you are preparing that you chop the ingredients, like the meat and vegetables, up small.

Just line your trays with parchment paper and spread out the food thinly. I like to do this in portion sizes so, it is easier when it comes to packing the food for my trip. Dehydrate on your highest setting (mine is 70°C) for a least 10-12 hours or until fully dehydrated. You will know when it is ready as it will be crunchy, but do let it completely cool off on the trays before you pack it away.

To store, once it is completely cool, you can put into ziplock bags in serving size. I also mix with it some dehydrated rice or pasta to make my meal complete. If you own a vacuum sealer, you can place it into the bags and vacuum seal it but this is not necessary. The most important thing is to keep the moisture in the air from getting in as this is what will make it rancid.

Dehydrating leftover dinners saves you time later on. 

How to make beef jerky

Jerky is the classic hiker snack and I will say I have never been a huge fan but on a longer hike, I tend to like it. My son loves it and so I let him loose in the kitchen and he creates some great marinades for his jerky.

Tip: marinate for at least 12 hrs before dehydrating. Put the dehydrator on at the highest temp, which will take around 12 hrs.

My favourite meat dishes

Beef tacos

Italian chicken risotto

Chilli con carne

Chicken laksa

One of my fave dishes to enjoy when hiking is chilli con carne. 

How do you rehydrate it on the trail?

It is easy enough to rehydrate your food once at camp. Some will put their food in their pot on arrival with the required water on top, bring to boil then leave to soak while you set up camp. Others will rehydrate on a slow simmer, some will even cold soak but this only really works on oats and couscous.

There are a few methods for rehydrating your meal. 

Now it’s up to you to get creative with dehydrating food for your adventures

For more details on preparing meals for long distance hiking, as well as recipes for the trail then head to my site here for details on my upcoming book.

My biggest tip for you all is to be creative and have some fun creating the best dishes that will make every other hiker drooling with food envy.

  Do you dehydrate food for your bushwalking adventures? If so, what’s your favourite trail meal?

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