#i mean cmon whats better than this
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gods-perfect-idiots · 3 months ago
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something something blood-soaked hands cradling your face something something
anyway here's the post btw
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#what if post dp3 logan struggles to emotionally accept that wade Will Actually For Real Survive Anything#and one time they are fighting some random baddies#and they somehow get in a few shots straight to wade's cranium and he drops like a bag of slutty slutty potatoes#and logan goes full berserker trying to get to him#like he just massacres everyone in his way and wade still isnt getting up ohnoohnoohnonotagainohno#(healing factor or no a few direct shots to the brain stem/t box take a bit to recover from)#(no more than five minutes but it's an eternity to logan)#and his heart sinks to the very core of the earth as he kneels down next to wade's body#and his hands are shaking and soaked in blood and he can't seem to sheathe his claws in his dazed adrenalined state#he tries to peel back wade's mask and fear is just *pounding* through his system because in that moment#all he can see are the xmen dead in massive pools of blood#and that feeling of unreality is rushing over him like thiscantbehappeningthiscantbehappeningnotagainohgodnotagain#wade's still and unresponsive and there is so Much BLOOD (hard to tell how much is Wade's and how much is just on his hands)#and logan doesn't even realize he's crying until suddenly wade's eyes light up like a computer restarting#and he's smiling and gasping and joking immediately#“well howdy there hot stuff what did I miss?”#and then he clocks that logan is Not Okay#“... well gee willikers golly goddamn peanut 'twas only a flesh wound! no need to go all waterworks over lil ol me”#“you know it would take a helluva lot more than that to make me shuffle off this here mortal coil!”#“see all better I'm hunky dory peachy keen right as fucking rain”#“I mean cmon I can't have been out for more than five minutes so let's just go back to you being exasperated with my bullshit antics okay??#“...okay sugarboobs? snookums? babycakes?.... Logan?”#and they just sit there on the floor holding each other for a while#wade babbling and logan crying about everything he's lost and wondering distantly how he has come to care so much#about this blithering jokester in like barely a week#that the thought of losing him brought him crashing back to the worst memory of his extremely rough life#anyway that's enough tag mini fic lolol I'm having feelings about my own drawing I guess 😵#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine art
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deus-ex-mona · 1 month ago
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when you’re trying to sleep bUT T H E .
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nemesis-is-my-middle-name · 3 months ago
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this is a tiny pet peeve but i think its kinda odd that people seem to like. forget, or maybe just neglect to take into account, that yellow, for whatever reason (whether he's an alt universe john or a fresh piece of this universe's KIY that kayne went and ripped off) has ALSO been trapped in the dark world prior to being with arthur and has exactly as many Feelings about it. this is a very load bearing character trait imo
#the nemesis speaks#mv liveblog#malevolent spoilers#standard ''fandom hermit'' disclaimer most of my perception of common hc/characterization here is just osmosis from fics ive read#this is why i lean way more towards the ''alt timeline john'' idea than anything else#bc how does it work otherwise. did kayne grab a new piece of the king and then. stick it in the dark world to finish cooking?#i mean i wouldn't put it past him i guess it just seems like a needless logistical investment on his part#anyway more to the point. in terms of personality/character i think both of them are several layers removed from the king atp#and it's BECAUSE of the dark world. BECAUSE they went through this process of being helpless and fighting for their lives#that's why yellow is Like That. this is why he bites.#you think the king would be that goddamn defensive and scared and easily cowed by threats?? fuck no. hes better than that#relatedly i think ppl overestimate how much yellow actually remembers of being the king#and correspondingly underestimate how much the persona really is just a mask he grabbed at to defend himself from arthur#''ok you're saying that i am this thing and you hate and fear it so i'll become it and then you'll stop snapping that fucking whip at me''#like cmon. you make a guy feel so fucking lost and small and helpless and then tell him that he used to be a fucking GOD#what is he supposed to do besides lean into that idea in hopes of getting any of that power back to defend himself with??#yellow my poor lil meow meow... my sad wet cat who refuses to admit he is wet or sad...#anyway i'll stop doing character analysis in the tags now#malevolent#malevanalysis
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broodygaming · 1 year ago
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I'm sorry, did SAM RIEGEL, Broadway star, just say "is that a real song" about the OPENING NUMBER to Legally Blonde? wtf?
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naenaex0xx · 10 months ago
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maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone
#like how my day is? or what dumb stuff im doing lol#my “safe space” where i got to meet people somehow (and theyre very cool :3c)#well. im happy if i get to do it now#cmon nae! sympathy points wont do you any good !!#okay so. tumblr gets to be my little planner too cause i get to write things in the momoment#so im writing things im proud of!#brushed my teeth for more than two mins today#n i actually washed a lil! its embarrassing writing this here because i dont want anyone thinking im dirty.... since its gross#but anyways.. im getting better at putting my phone down at night!#that means fixing my sleep right? i just have to sort out the mornings since i lose track of time#and struggle to leave bed (its too comfyyyy >.<)#and oh. i want to start going on walks..#itll be hard since the house is getting done n stuff but. anytine if the day. i feel like taking walks woukd be better for me#just to keave the house. my eyes always hurts when i steo outside#n thats not good :<#those are my goals for now. i do wanna get closer to my friends. and actually make friends!#ive had no friendships for nearly a year at college lol#its just been 'oh well' but i have actually felt lonely... oh well-#i guess i wanna get closer to people?#and.. talk to ny old friends too#i feel to guilty#im not good with this stuff. it drains me#but anyways. baby steps right? who knows#maybe ill make a friend on the trip! or next year too! that sounds good#ik nobody'll probably read this cause its word vomit lol#but basically yay yippee im feelin kinds alright#<333#posts.nae/rambles
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alex-vents-or-something · 21 days ago
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anyways. how we doing gang < talking to no one
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driftwooddestiel · 29 days ago
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me when my parents observe objectively true things about me which i didn’t explicitly reveal to them myself:
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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 months ago
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billions also comedy gold presenting winston as a scapegoat for abuse culture fans when it's like but hey it can't be actual scapegoating if you Enjoy It or consider it Justified or experience Reassurance from Its Opportunity For A Group Cohesion Substitute For A Cohesion Based On An Inherent Equal Degree Of Belonging, The Absence Of Which Allows For, Encourages, Reinforces, & Rewards Scapegoating
it can't be Bullying if someone's Weird or you Just Don't Personally Like Them or Nobody's Actually Stopping You, Maybe At Least If They Don't See Too Much Of It, Maybe Others Are Supporting It
it can't be Abuse if you're just doing things Normally or are Following Rules or Aren't Feeling Malicious And Aren't Getting Divine Revelations Otherwise and probably it's just that a lot of abnormal people are being whiny &/or unfair &/or the Real malicious ones. kinda just like how that scapegoat is the real person ruining everything and really just forcing you to treat them like this
#might note hardly limited to billions; the series doing bog standard suffocatingly common [Being Normal can't be abusive] replication#nor is their Unaware Replication Of [it can't be ableist if i'm not reacting to ppl who walked up & said Hi I'm Autistic]#well abuse & traumatic treatment can't be Everywhere. like how umm sexism can't be everywhere. neither can white supremacy. ableism. cmon.#oh please not everything can be political. Just Be Normal. which makes it ''apolitical.''#now we all agree abuse can't ever be made palatable; insulated; easy. now ppl doing it never said it wasn't That bad.#if they did they must have been maliciously lying. whereas when i say it can't have been That bad; i mean it :)#and if that person says it was; well they must be lying. or clueless. or a pussy. or scheming to destroy me. Must be. Gotta#& we wouldn't be able to look around & see contexts of imbalance. who's vulnerable. who's life gets smaller. who's supported automatically#who's supported if someone even posits they May have done anything like No; Impossible; now instantly definitely get their ass#you can just go on all day about the ''um i'm just the Realistic Normality vessel'' arguments made boundlessly in bad faith#being like ohh Everyday Interactions / ''Normal'' Semi/Public Situations Can't Be Uncomfortable Imbalanced Dangerous Abusive....#if they are that must be So Rare & created only by Rare Bad Actors with Malicious Mens Rea (itself a great concept to make any act Okay)#something framed as Extreme must be an outlier. could never be part of everyone's everyday life & some much more than others.#could never be what's defined as Normal (associated with Superiority) like how Abuse can't be shit i'd think of as Normal#like how damn if ya don't just wanna kill the autistic coworker and everyone agrees & would clap & cheer if you did And That's Great#you'd have to feel Weird / Abnormal about it! b/c Weirdness & Abnormality is what's bad!#like the autism or the cptsd (the Real abuse can only be: inflicting the existence of a victim's survival skills on Superior Normals)#or whatever else gets pathologized with Polite ABA arguments about how it's not ''social skills'' so hide it or suffer the consequences#winston billions#having that perspective too like oh [our blessed successful conformity] [their barbaric xyz Issues]#if the best you can argue for or against smthing is as Normal or Weird respectively like. no. what's behind that door#the authority figure/s who must be supported lest this all crumble. vs the ruinerrrrrr#billions recognizing winston & tuk the next most shitted on would probably get along & have a mutually supportive friendship#billions also recognizing that mutual support better not be Allowed to get that far. lest this all crumble#like look see we Knew it. we knew the bottom tier ppl who don't really belong in the group who we bully & scapegoat are Always Ruining It.
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leafpool-loves-ashfur · 7 months ago
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my favorite thing about my Generations ocs is when i start mapping things out and suddenly Poppystar has gone from Bitch-ass Leader who is Mean to the Protagonist for No Reason into Oh My God Give This Woman a Break, Moonpool Christ.
literally all in the span of 3 moons she: has an apprentice, is made deputy, becomes pregnant, goes on a quest to save her dumbass leader while pregnant, leader decides to RETIRE and she becomes leader, GIVES BIRTH, decides "fuck this" and makes her apprentice into a warrior despite him not having finished his apprenticeship
like YEAH no WONDER she's a Bitch(tm), she literally had to train an apprentice WHILE pregnant WHILE being a new leader WHILE the dumbass Main Protagonist pisses StarClan the FUCK off and suddenly its HER problem and she DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS
AND she had a bad mom
#omg Poppystar was always just kinda that background Mean Girl character for Smokeface's story. but now. now im kinda like#babygirl im so sorry. im so sorry this happened to you#ur mom p much abandoned you for work and you internalized it and thought that work = your value#so you worked yourself to death while trying to protect your siblings. and then ur barely even a warrior with a new apprentice#when u get made deputy. and then ofc ur leader decides to retire. even though you are GREGNANT. and you only get 8 lives cause of it.#but thats fine. its fine. you finish training ur app and you give birth#and you try to be a slightly better mom than urs was but ur failing and you know ur failing but you try not to think about it#you have a clan to lead after all#and then suddenly your sister the med cat and StarClan are screaming at you to GET RID OFF this little fucking PEST called Smokepaw#and your like 'the apprentice??? wtf did she do? she's my best friend's daughter. my best friend who died giving birth to her'#and it turns out she Stole Nine Lives from Cat Heaven#and your like. what the fuck. how did you do that. i only got 8#and you gotta do StarClan's will so you revoke Smokepaw's privileges but whatever. she's young-#AND THEN A FIRE KILLS YOUR BROTHER AND YOUR FORMER MENTOR/LEADER/DAD FIGURE#and of course you blame Smokepaw (even though it was STarClan's fault really but cmon. ur brainwashed into worshipping them remember?)#and so you basically devote most of ur leadership to bullying this apprentice/young warrior#and by the time you realize there's been a plot to murder you its too late because you've been. murdered#warrior cats#warriors#warriors ocs#generations ocs#generations#poppystar#poppyflower#smokeface#smokepaw#rattail#ratstar#ravenfur#nightshade
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shocked-collar · 5 months ago
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Are we seriously going to let some anonymous rando with accusations divide this community? Are we really letting that happen yall? In their latest post they LITERALLY said it wasn't that serious. They made a big stink because they could. So like........ uh....... Why are we making this a big deal again?
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yuriyuruandyuraart · 2 years ago
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yuri yuri please
you can’t
you can’t draw cross that good and keep getting away with it
please im collapsing /j
but oohhh i love him so much,,,, and the drawing just hit me so hard in the little soft spot on my heart and UWAAAAAA THRASHES
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CHAAAAAIR DUUUUDE omg you're gonna make a poor little artist cry with your sweet words gosh :'Dc THANK YOUUUU<333333
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abyssalpriest · 1 year ago
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God I could and should write a whole fucking book by the end of this life here on Lev and his symbols
ill write it then burn it before anyone else gets a copy. or i wont. im supposed to be helping him this incarnation here to get a better anchor in this plane so maybe it would help more than itd be weird - im just getting from him the energy of "yeah no people already effectively have these things, people on my plane already know me inside and out to an extensive degree, may as well have it here too" you know. fair
#~abyssal murmurs#ugh god i love his tone saying that tho. i kept trying to prod to see if it was a ''ugh yeah people know me inside and out and Yes Its#Invasive But -'' but no#oh my god man. his like energy towards his people is..... BEFORE I SAY THIS#I HOPE YOU ALL KNOW IM ANTI PROPAGANDA. the biggest reason i dont work with Lu and others is bc theres this tendency to#be like ''we're darkness but also light! we're teachers we're enlightened we're pure in our own way and the kings are here to#teach you how to empower yourselves and they love all worshipers and they reject all tyrannical authority and they are the good guys#against the chrxstian god who (insert specific atrocity that actually was committed by the kings not the 'chrxstian god' - and#''demons'' should KNOW that because it was AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE WAR so either theyre LYING orrrrr) and we're actually#really down to earth and more holy than anyone else bc we're enlightened - i mean uh uh no wait that contradicts us being#against the love and light style of enlightenment chasing'' like. i will tell you that my boss has massacred a lot of people i will tell yo#im anti monarchy and i dont believe that the kings' peoples are any better than 'angels' and i will tell you a lot of innocents on both#sides have been lost bc of royalty and rich families the kings are directly tied to#so i hope you know that when i say the way lev treats his people in his mind is..... holy shit#i pick apart everything he does. ive seen sides of him that are dark af (and i love him for them lmfao) but as soon as his people are#involved... have you ever been w someone getting hot and bothered and a kid walks in that you thought was sleeping and you just switch#completely into parent mode like. he'll have complex fictions w me helping me write stories about corrupt monarchies and shit#and then no. he is like. hes very good at mindset switching and going immediately into different faces but i swear#his ''i am a king and a king is a head of a mass of people - a king is a servant to his people'' mode is like. impenetrable#he is so. fucking intensely single-minded and trained to be a king unlike anyone else. anyway what was i talking about#OH YEAH. his tone w what i wrote in the post. was so switched into that mode of ''my viscera is theirs to eat as Im splayed on their table#and this is divine ruling. this is my purpose with them'' type shit. PURE thought. there is no other energy i can find in it other than#pure ''this is my job and i do it''. pure as in distilled. a pure tone like a sine wave played on a synth as opposed to a string plucked#leviathan //#ive. im nervous about saying the shit ive said here lmfao but ive had his OK before to say it ALSO. AS I SAID. theres no way his people#dont know the massacre was done by the kings lmfao. like. yall were involved. and also you all have to know that one of the#people that pretends to be the christian god is. two of the kings actually and since lev commonly appears to people and lets them#decide who he is bc hes never arsed making a show of Being Leviathan and whatnot im sure hes been called God plenty of times#too but like. cmon. I dont know who started the ''oh the uh the invading heaven and killing off half the population was the#chrxstian god'' rumour but i was first exposed to it through lu and (his wife) worshipers so yall get the blame - that said...
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lixbf · 1 year ago
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weve gotten like nothing so far abt this skz cb and im already going insane
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dystopiadev · 1 year ago
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ITS INTERNATIONAL CLOWN WEEK WOOPWOOP
I'm gonna draw a clown every day. Working on one for today right now, one of my tma ocs to kick it off. will post once its done :o)
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wonderjanga · 3 months ago
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Marvel and the Street Kids
Billy likes helping people. Especially people who have, and are still going through something he’s also experienced. Hunger, brokeness, homelessness, if you’ve had to go through any of those things, Billy’s probably going to favor you more than most of the other people he’s saved. I mean, after all, he knows what all of that feels like. It’s why he helps out around soup kitchens a lot. It’s why he donates a hefty bit of his paycheck to homeless shelters and charities. It’s why he works to keep drugs off the streets, and crime at a low. He doesn’t want anyone, man, woman, or child to experience what he has. So, here’s a couple instances where he’s helping some homeless kids we know. (Btw this is the same AU as the Billy and the Robins post. In that post, basically Billy knew Dick and Jason when the two were both Robins) Roy: *in Speedy costume* “Hey Robin, who do you go to whenever you need advice?”
Robin!Jason: *in Robin costume* “Batman, why?”
Roy: “Right, cool. Cool, but what if you can’t ask him a certain question?”
Robin!Jason: “Oh, then I go to Marvel!”
Roy: “Marvel? Like Captain Marvel?”
Robin!Jason: “Yeah!”
Roy: “Huh. Uh… okay then.”
Robin!Jason: “Why do you ask?”
Roy: “No reason.”
Then, a little bit after Oliver kicked Roy out, Marvel was in Star City because Green Arrow needed him for whatever. As of now, Roy was walking down the street, upset because obviously. It’s been an about three days since he was kicked out by someone he considered his dad. All because he had a wee little problem with painkillers, and wee little problem with heroin. You’re supposed to help people who’re addicted. Especially if they’re family. You don’t just kick them out… right?
Roy: *walking down the sidewalk*
Marvel: *flying when he sees him*
Roy: *not paying attention*
Marvel: *flies down in front of him*
Roy: *bumps into Marvel* “Hey, watch where you’re goooo…wha…?” *slowly looks up until he’s craning his neck to look up at him*
Marvel: “Aren’t you GA’s boy?” *looks confused* “What’re you doing out this late?”
Roy: “What?”
Marvel: “Yeah! You’re uh…” *snaps fingers a couple times, thinking* “Speedy. Right?”
Roy: “Do I know you…?” *looks Marvel up in down*
Marvel: “Oh, my bad.” *holds hand out for handshake* “I’m Captain Marvel. I don’t think we’ve properly met.”
Roy: *doesn’t shake hand* “Well you already know me. I’m Speedy.” *shrugs*
They both talk. Marvel gets Roy to open up a bit after he gets the kid a hotdog. While they’re both sitting on a bench eating their respective hotdogs, (I saw the Marvel in civvies post and he’s wearing that exact fit. He magicked up the red sweater, the yellow hat, and the jeans so they could eat in peace) the archer remembers his conversation with Jason. So, he decides he might as well bite the bullet since his friend hyped up the guy so much.
Roy: “Hey… I gotta ask something.”
Marvel: “Hm?” *mid chew*
Roy: “You wouldn’t happen to know any good struggle meals, would you?”
Marvel: *finishes hotdog* “Yeah? I do. You wanna learn some?”
Roy: *hasn’t told Marvel about him being homeless now* “Yeah.” *takes bite of his hotdog*
Marvel: “Okie doki then.”
Roy: “You aren’t gonna ask why?”
Marvel: “It’s not really my place. Unless you want me to ask?”
Roy: “Nah, not really.” *finishes his hotdog*
Marvel: “Then I won’t.” *stands up* “Alright! To the nearest Chuck E. Cheese!” *points in a random direction*
Roy: *also stands up, raising a brow at him. Moves Marvel’s arm in the correct direction* “Why are we going to a Chuck E. Cheese?”
Marvel: “You’ll see. Cmon!” *starts jogging in the direction Roy corrected him to*
Roy: “Dude, wait up!”
When they’re now outside the Chuck E. Cheese…
Marvel: “Alright. So, here’s what you’re gon— Are you good?”
Roy: *out of breath because they just ran about three blocks* “Yeah… Yeah. I’m good. Just uh— gimme a sec.”
Marvel: *gives him until he feels better*
Roy: *looking better now* “So, what were you saying?”
Marvel: “Right, so what you’re gonna be doing is, see those tables?” *gestures to the booths through the Chuck E. Cheese’s windows. Some booths have leftover pizza and chicken wings in them*
Roy: *nods head*
Marvel: “Okay, great. So you’re gonna go steal all of that.”
Roy: *blinks at him before the most befuddled, bamboozled, puzzled expression crosses his face* “What?”
Marvel: “You’re going. To steal. All of that.” *gestures to the tables again*
Roy: *looks between Marvel and the tables* “Dude, I am not stealing scraps from the fucking Chuck E. Cheese tables.”
Marvel: “How else do you expect to get food then?”
Roy: “I don’t know! I expected you to teach me some cheap recipes or something stupid like that!”
Marvel: “Oooooooh, so you don't want struggle meals then.”
Roy: “No, I do. A struggle meal is something like a ketchup sandwich. This is way worse than a goddamn struggle meal.”
Marvel: “You and I clearly have different definitions of a struggle meal, but okay. Also, chill with the cursing, man. I can teach you something cheap if that’s what you actually want.”
Roy: “Okay then, thank you, because the day I need to steal scraps from a Chuck E. Cheese, is the day I lose my dignity.”
Marvel: “Yeah, yeah, come on. Let’s just go to a grocery store.”
Then, there was Cassandra Cain. She was homeless for about nine years before she went to Gotham when she was seventeen. During her homelessness, she never really stayed in one place. One of the places she ended up in was Fawcett when she was about sixteen. There, she met Captain Marvel. She man saved her from a mugging she was about to take care of herself.
Marvel: *staring at her because Solomon’s whispering about how she’s worthy*
Cassandra: *staring right back, picking up confusion in the man’s body language*
Marvel: “What’s your name, miss?”
Cassandra: *stares blankly at him* (Guys, this is before she learned most stuff. So she has no idea what he’s saying and has to go off of body language alone.)
Marvel: *stares back* “Can… You not speak?”
Cassandra: *continues to stare blankly*
Marvel: *sighs* “I’ll take that as a no.” *reaches into pocket dimension*
Cassandra: *startled when she sees half the man’s arm disappear*
Marvel: *pulls out some money and puts it in one of her hands* “Please take this. I can tell you don’t have a home. Starving isn’t fun.”
Cassandra: *sees understanding in Marvel’s body language and looks at the money in her hand then back at Marvel*
Marvel: *hovering off the ground* “Stay safe, miss.” *gives her a little wave before flying off*
Cassandra: *watches him go*
They meet more times after that, and soon, Cassandra ends up being one of the many homeless kids he checks up on. Cassandra comes to enjoy the man’s presence, and Marvel comes to enjoy hers as well. She eventually gets a really good read on the man after a while and he gets a good read on her. She even mimicked the man’s bodily expressions sometimes with a nod here, or a shrug there. Marvel even got to learn her name after she gestured to one of the other kids who had a cast on their leg. He guessed a couple times before he got her actual name. They ended up having to charade it, Beetlejuice style.
Marvel: “Cassie?”
Cassandra: *makes a so-so motion with her hand* (something she picked up from the man) *makes a motion that was supposed to convey it was longer*
Marvel: “Longer…?” *pauses to think for a solid 20 seconds* “Cassandra?”
Cassandra: *gives him a thumbs up* (another gesture learned from him)
Marvel: “Wait that’s actually your name?” *body language shows he’s happy he got it right*
Cassandra: *blankly stares* (Again guys, she has no clue what he’s saying)
Marvel: “Oh, this is awesome!” *body language shows he gets happier. He starts yapping about stuff*
Cassandra: *listens even though it’s all gibberish to her*
Cass liked that she could depend on someone. The man was… sunny. That’s the best way to put it. She liked listening to him talk. He never expected an answer or response. She liked that. She also liked that when she did try to respond, he was patient and did his best to try and understand her. Their friendship (sort of father daughter thing) continued until she was almost seventeen, and soon, things came to an end.
Marvel: “You’re leaving?” *body language shows concern*
Cassandra: *saw him look to the backpack stuffed with things for the trip to the next town. she nods her head*
Marvel: *body language shows disappointment for a moment before acceptance* “I see.” *gives her a warm smile* “It was nice knowing you, Cassandra.” *gives her same little wave he gave her when they first met* “I hope we get to meet again.”
Cassandra: *waves back unlike the first time they met and leaves*
They actually met again, unbeknownst to Marvel, when he was in Gotham to help Bruce with something. They got paired up together to go and do something for the mission.
Marvel: “You know, you remind me of this girl I knew from a while ago.”
Cassandra: *silence and a stare because she knows he’s talking about herself*
Marvel: “Yeah, she would’ve done that same blank stare too.”
Cassandra: *wondering how he knows she’s pulling the same face as herself*
Some goons decided to interrupt them before she could figure that out.
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shrenvents · 8 months ago
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Guard Dog
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Warnings: Part one of two (is smut), stalkerish lol, fluff, mentions of death, mutual pining
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x you
Summary: Set after joining Alexandria, Daryl's overtly having issues settling in, and even more problems leaving you alone.
Word count: 1.8k
...
You and Daryl have known each other for years. Through thick and thin, your found-family has each other's backs. But your group has been wearing thin. From Beth to Tyreese, now in Alexandria, a strange and new environment— it's safe to say, Daryl’s been on edge. He was losing his nerve, and that somehow entailed keeping you close, very close.
Every and any second you're alone, he appears, determined to invade your space, and it's becoming difficult to keep your feelings at bay, because you’ve been in love with him since your time at the prison. Even then, when shit hit the fan, he raced to get you out. Though you feared your affections for him made such a delusion — one that posed he would think to save you first— his recent clingy behaviour has made you believe in said delusion.
Today, he's back at it. You’re alone gathering food for dinner, for less than 10 minutes, before he marches into the garage. Bearing in mind that he has no reason to be here, and spent most of his time hidden from the locals, his appearance would be considered unusual.
You let Daryl silently stand there, patrolling the entrance for a few seconds, till your heart gives out.
“Is something the matter?” You utter, shifting your eyes to his dark ones, and they snap to you, slightly taken aback. “Nothin,” is all he grumbles before looking outwards to your surroundings, observing and scanning like the hunter he is.
“Daryl, we’ve been here for weeks," huffing, "we’re alive, and well,” you state, swallowing quietly. “You can relax you know.” You turn to lift a basket of supplies. When heading for the exit, Daryl swiftly steps in front of you.
“I ain’t doin' nothin' but standing,” he rumbles defensively.
“Standing in front of me, might I add,” you retort, smiling, trying to ease the strange tension, but his face remains stoic. Daryl stares directly into you, and a shiver rolls down your spine. His intense gaze doesn’t last long, as he chooses to walk off without a goodbye. Your shoulders instantly deflate, and you exhale, closing your eyes.
“Now what was that?” Sasha’s voice makes you flinch, popping your eyes open to peer at her. “You tell me,” you sigh and she laughs.
“I’ll be damned if I ever try to read that caveman's mind,” she grins, ��You're better off leaving that question for Carol.” Her smirk tells a different story, one that says she knows something more, and you can’t help the second shiver that racks through your body.
...
Desperate to figure out Dixon, you go to Carol’s, asking for her assistance with dinner as a cover.
As you both cook, it takes little time for her to notice your incessant gawking. She pronounces your name, and your eyes snap back to the sizzling food. “Cmon, you can talk to me,” she assures.
When you decidedly stay hushed, she releases a sigh that eases into a snicker. “You should speak soon before Daryl finds us, or you, rather,” she mentions, attempting to contain her humour. You spin to face her. “What do you mean by that?” You question far too quickly, that the words practically jumble together. “Exactly what it seems,” she smiles pleasantly, ignoring your eager tone. “You’ve got yourself a lifelong, loyal guard dog.”
“Why? I mean, Daryl’s protective of everybody? But why does he only follow me?” You ramble, “Doesn’t he trust me to not end up dead, in a friendly, gated community?” You pout and Carol laughs again.
“That isn’t quite why,” she dwindles.
“Please just spell it out for me, I can't take it anymore.” Now square to her, you drop the stirring utensil, and tug your apron over your head. She watches you move, absorbed in her thoughts, as you jump to sit on the edge of the kitchen island. “He’s making you uncomfortable?” She asks warily.
“Yes,” you pause, “and no.” Your head lowers in embarrassment.
After a moment, you look at Carol, while she refocuses on adding more ingredients, to the dish you abandoned. “Why does he do it?”
Her moving actions falter, and she pivots to face you. “It isn’t for me to say, but being around you, knowing you’re safe, clearly calms him." Though you don’t truly get it, you nod slowly so Carol goes back to finishing the meal.
Just as she puts meat in the oven, Daryl waltzes through the door, without so much as knocking or giving some sort of warning. You yelp when you spot him. When you lock eyes, you refuse to hold it, so you turn your head over your shoulder quickly, with a grimace, one that doesn’t go unnoticed by Daryl.
“What? Somethin' happen?” His hoarse voice sounds almost panicked. As you swivel your neck to soothe Daryl’s unnecessary worry with a "No," he suddenly grips your wrist, far too roughly. You squeak as he grabs your full attention.
You assess how he stands motionless in front of your knees, eyes widened, regarding his hand as it holds your wrist. He looks kind of appalled, as if he couldn’t believe he touched you. He then briskly lets go of your arm, like it burned him, retracing into himself.
You gulp and your bottom lip trembles. 'Was he disgusted? Did he see you as a child? What had you done to warrant this behaviour?' You think anxiously.
You look between Carol and Daryl now, as they share a lengthy stare. You swear under your breath, then push Daryl's chest with your fists, shocking both of them.
“I’m leaving, do not, follow me.” You order, with a vexed, yet hurt look. His mouth gaps with a soundless word, and you leave.
...
Sitting alone in your home, your empty stomach growls, and you start to seriously regret what you did earlier, which left you too ashamed to stay for dinner.
As your thoughts run wild, a quiet knock at the door diminishes them. You stay still, almost wondering if the noise is no more than a tree branch, moved by wind, but he bellows your name.
"Daryl?" You respond, and his voice simply calls your name again, almost like a plea. You turn the lock and knob, opening to find Daryl, fidgeting on his feet uncomfortably at your doorstep. "Um, come in?" You allow meekly, and he enters, faintly brushing your side.
Picking up his musky, pine scent, you bite your lip examining him, slowly leaning back on the closing door. He looks around agitatedly, seeming completely out of place, and somewhat flustered.
Growing stiff, you can't bear the awkward silence for much longer.
"I'm sorry," you mumble an apology for something, you're not sure what, and clearly, neither is he. He whirls towards you, stepping into your space. "For what?"
"I was rude earlier and-"
"Not rude, just, confusing." He interjects, brows furrowing in tune with his sentence. You scowl, "Well, if I'm being honest, I wouldn't say I'm the 'confusing' one here." Your remark reminds you of your previous feelings, and they bubble to the surface.
When he says nothing, you continue. "I'm safe here Daryl, and pretty happy, all things considered," you breathe out in exasperation. "Is there some danger that I should know of? Is someone here out to get me?"
"No-"
"So why do you keep chasing me around?" You just about shout, interrupting him. Daryl flinches and looks as though he wants to be anywhere but here, with you. He fixates on the door behind you. "I ain't doin' nothin-"
"Daryl! Please just," you cut yourself short as your voice escalates. "Please be honest with me, after everything we've been through, you owe me that," you beg.
His tense frame withers in defeat. "I just can't leave your side," he grumbles, his words barely understandable. "Why?"
"Don't wanna lose ya," Daryl's voice trails off as his head wheels to the side. "You won't, and I can take care of myself, just like the others, who you don't follow around." You fail to hide your ignominy, visibly disappointed that he believes you need special attention, over the rest of the group. "Can't," he mumbles.
"'Can't' what?" You inquire, now stepping into his space, voice rising.
"I can't, 'cause I don' wanna lose you," he exclaims again in a burst. Your face twists further in ignorance. "Christ woman," he runs his hand down his tormented expression. "Daryl, please stop dancing around what you mean." You cry out, "'Lose me?' Tell me what you mea-"
Abruptly, he grips your shoulders. "I want ya." He states, baring his teeth as if it were a threat. "I want you, I want you to live."
"You 'want' me... To live...?" You ask slowly and his eyes roll back in frustration. "No, not just to live-"
"Because I love you," you blurt and immediately try to pry your shoulders from his clutch. He stills with you firmly in his grasp, so close that his nose nearly grazes yours. His hold increases its strength, and he shakes his head to himself, seemingly battling his own thoughts. "Daryl?" You whisper.
"How can you?" He utters so quietly it's barely audible, so quiet you don't think he expected to say it out loud.
While his eyes squeeze shut, you snake your arms around his waist, and his entire build clamps up. Now afraid of a possible rejection, you loosen your embrace. But his hands move from your shoulders to your upper back, arms drawing you to him, fully caging you in. You take in his broad chest as it presses against your less impressive one. Your fingers seize his leather vest, aching to know how it feels in your palms.
His heavy breathing fans your nape, and you swear he sniffs your hair, as his nose and scruff tickle the skin behind your ear. His fingertips tease the ends of your hair, and you take this as an opportunity to breathe him in. Just as you do, he pulls away, moving you to an arm's length. You blush.
"Sorry," he mutters and your brows crease. "I smell bad, I know," he murmurs and goes fairly red himself. "I don't mind," you say sweetly with a smile, ignoring the urge to tell him you like it.
Finally getting a chance to gaze into his eyes properly. You virtually melt when his pupils appear glassy. You've only seen him cry once, after losing Beth. 'So would he really be brought to tears over a confession? From you no less?'
"Daryl?" He peeks up from behind his fringe. "Do you 'want' me, or like me, like I like you?" You ask, trying to minimize the pressure he may feel to admit any feelings, but you so desperately want to know —how desperately you want him to hold you again.
"Both," he rasps.
You nod and smile sheepishly, "I can work with that."
When a comfortable silence envelops the room, your stomach growls loudly. A modest smile takes shape on Daryl's face. "I put some food aside for you, back at Carol's." He emits, gesturing to the door behind you, wordlessly asking you to go over there, with him. You nod a yes and your heart pounds, swooning at his thoughtfulness. "Thank you."
You reach your hand out, and he very hesitantly holds it, after wiping his twice down his thigh. You beam, heading out the door.
Part two
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