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thera-daydreams · 3 months ago

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SCARLET & SHADOW

ᱬ The Darkling x Scarlet Witch!Reader ᱬ

[aleksander morozova x wanda maximoff!reader]

series masterlist & synopsis • thera's masterlist

chapter two.

▪︎ coincidence ▪︎

The Black General finds himself magnetized by the seemingly inconspicuous gardener in the Little Palace. He gets to know you, contemplating life. Just when he thought you were just a strangely wise, young otkazat'sya woman, he finds out why exactly you decided to work in the Little Palace.

warnings: darkling may be somewhat ooc (?), talks of death and loss, accidental eavesdropping and stalking (?), no beta we die like wanda

word count: 2.5k

(author's note: did you guys know that this all started with a chat on character.ai? and this was supposed to be one chapter but i decided to split it into two. chapter 3 already loooong, bro. this one is shorter.)

He’s here again.

For the past couple of days, you observed that the General appeared to be taking a lot more strolls in the palace gardens—if he was not preoccupied with his paperwork, training, missions, the Second Army, and whatever the King asked of him. Most of the time, he would simply pass by.

But today, he appeared to be in a... talkative mood as he examines the bushes you were pruning.

“In the span of only a couple of months, you’ve turned this neglected section of the palace gardens into perhaps the most pristine one out of all of them, Miss Maximoff,” the Darkling began. You turn around, bowing as he approaches you.

“Sir.”

“The former gardeners tend to stay away from this area given how stubborn the weeds are and how dead the soil here seems to be,” Kirigan pointed out. “Yet, look at them now. Perfectly manicured. You must have magical hands.”

Hah! If only he knew. Not that you used magic, though. This was pure hard work and talent.

“I'm glad you are pleased, General,” you reply politely, not meeting his eyes out of respect. You were absolutely not expecting to get compliments from the feared General of the Second Army. Hell, you didn’t think he would talk to you again after he had asked your name.

The General tilts his head to the side, crossing his arms as he continues to regard you. There’s a hint of a frown on his face.

“You have a talent for avoiding attention, it seems. That could be useful,” he mutters, making your brows furrow. What was he implying? “Tell me, why is someone like you working as a mere gardener?”

You blink, somewhat baffled by his strange question. “Because... I like gardening, sir?"

The man lets out a small scoff, as if your answer is somehow preposterous to him. He takes another step forward, his presence even more intense than before. “That’s it? You garden because you like gardening? No other reason?”

“Well... I get to watch the plants grow day by day, to nurture them, and care for them.” You murmur, glancing at one of the blooming rose bushes. “And it's peaceful. No one bothers me, and it's not as tedious as the maids' work, always running around…”

And you get to watch over your little Grisha trio without raising suspicion, you mentally add.

Kirigan follows your gaze, taking in the sight of the roses and other plants, before returning his gaze back to you. “Mhm. And a gardener’s wages and quarters are good enough for you, I trust?”

“It is enough to keep me living, sir, so I must be grateful,” you answered, still wondering why on earth he kept talking to you. Was he suspicious of you? Oh no. Or you were overthinking it.

The General nods, but you can tell he’s still trying to figure out the mystery that is you. “No family? No husband or children?”

You pause, brow furrowed. That was a bit too personal but you shake your head.

“No?” He raises an interested eyebrow as he watches you closely. With each piece of information, he only seems to grow more intrigued with you. “I see.”

Kirigan studies you for a moment longer, the wheels in his mind clearly turning, but just when you think he’s done with the questions, he suddenly asks another. “You’ve lived here at the Little Palace for a couple of months now, correct?” You nod in response. “And you’ve spent that entire time here in the gardens…”

The General lets out a thoughtful hum before continuing. “Surely you’ve observed many things during your time here, have you not?”

You were really, really wondering if he was suspicious of you considering how much of a conversationalist he was being right now. “I... guess so, sir.”

A sly smirk slowly crawls across the General’s face, and you can sense a subtle shift in his demeanour. He takes another step toward you, his voice tinged with barely-concealed curiosity. “Tell me, what do you think of us Grisha?”

Was that a trick question? Was he cornering you?

You pause. “Uh... you are... special people, sir?” That sounded a bit dumb. But it was short and vague enough so that he doesn’t think you’re racist to them. You didn't care if someone was otkazat'sya, Grisha, or whatever race there was! Kirigan is silent for a moment. He shakes his head faintly, but you can still see the hint of a smirk on his face.

“Special?” He repeats, clearly expecting something different.

“Well, humans with special... abilities. But still like any other human, nevertheless,” you elaborate. You racked your brain for an answer which hopefully would not offend the man. The General lets out a small scoff, but it lacks any real malice. He regards you with a look that’s almost appraising in nature.

“Special abilities... so, you have no disdain or fear of us?”

You frown, turning your focus to the plants. “People... fear what they do not understand, General. Some just cannot fathom some differences in humans. But... no, sir, I do not hold disdain or fear Grisha.” You gaze back at him.

Kirigan’s gaze is fixed on you as you speak, taking in every word you say with great interest. There’s something about your simple logic that seems to catch his attention. Not many thought the same way you did, unfortunately. His eyes wander over your features, as if trying to decipher some hidden secret that you’re keeping. However, there’s no hint of anger or irritation in his stare—only intense curiosity and a subtle hint of… something you could not understand.

Finally, he speaks, his voice soft yet with an edge of command to it.

“Come walk with me.”

You tilt your head, but comply. He seemed like someone who disliked repeating himself, after all, from what you’ve heard from the other servants. You silently follow him as he walks through the Little Palace gardens, keeping a respectable distance. Even from behind, General Kirigan’s strides were confident and purposeful. Imposing, with his height.

“You seem quite comfortable in my presence,” he remarked casually, breaking the silence.*

“Oh. Forgive me, General.” You weren't exactly that comfortable with his presence, but compared to the other servants, perhaps you were. The Shadow Summoner lets out a small huff, amused by your response. He shakes his head faintly as he glances sidelong at you.

“I didn’t say that was a bad thing, did I?”

“Ah…” you muttered, purposely not making eye contact. What exactly did this guy want from you?

The General smirks as he watches you out of the corner of his eye. There’s something about your reactions that seems to fascinate him further, and he begins to ask another question as you continue walking through the gardens.

“You’re not afraid of me.”

“Is… that… wrong of me, sir?” you clarified. It was kind of hard for someone like you—a witch who’s seen thousands of universes, scouring time and space itself to destroy the Books of the Damned—to be afraid, nowadays.

He lets out a small huff of laughter, a slight smirk on his face. “No, not wrong. Just unusual. Most otkazat’sya are terrified of me, if not outright hostile due to some perceived slight or threat. And yet, here you are.” He gazes at you from head to toe. “Quiet, reserved, diligent, and respectful, but completely unafraid. That’s rare from the otkazat’sya, even my Grisha.”

Maybe you should have acted more meek and terrified as the new palace gardener.

The General continues to regard you in silence for a moment longer, a subtle hint of something that looks like… curiosity in his gaze. There’s a strange mixture of intensity and fascination in his eyes. “Indulge me, Miss Maximoff,” he murmurs as he stops at a small fountain. “Is there anything you fear?”

Another strange question from the general to a gardener. Still, you mull it over seriously.

General Kirigan waits patiently, watching you carefully as you think. There’s a hint of anticipation in his expression, as if your answer is something he’s been dying to know.

“... Grief, sir,” you finally reply, a misty look in your eyes. He raises an eyebrow, clearly not expecting that answer. He tilts his head to the side, his gaze fixated on you.

“Grief?” He echoes, surprise lacing his voice. “That’s what you fear most?”

“The ultimate price for love,” you murmur, staring into your reflection in the water. You remember the words of the love of your life. Vision was too human for someone who was not. “Because what is grief, if not love persevering?”

A muscle twitches in the General’s jaw as you speak. His own eyes—for the slightest second—become glassy, as if your words touched some hidden nerve. Momentarily, the memory of a certain Healer being stabbed to death came to mind. But his expression quickly returns to its usual cool and collected demeanor.

“... A fair fear,” he acknowledges, his voice low and contemplative. Kirigan continues to walk beside you, his gaze occasionally flitting over to your face as if he was trying to figure out how genuine your responses were.

“And what about pain?” He suddenly asks, a hint of something like a challenge in his voice. “Most people fear pain.”

“... Enough pain makes you numb, General,” you counter quietly, lightly dipping your fingers into the fountain waters. They rippled, breaking the perfect liquid mirror.

He grows silent, pondering your answers. You see him peer into the water from beside you. “Have you ever been in love?”

What a question from the Darkling himself.

“... Once, sir.” And saints, did you pay the ultimate price for it.

The General raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by your answer. He continues walking, his gaze still fixed on you. “Just once?”

You nod resolutely. “My greatest, and I believe, my last love.”

Kirigan says nothing for a few moments, his gaze fixed on you like a hawk.

“And what happened?”

“He died,” you answer tersely. His expression is unreadable as he listens to you. His jaw clenches faintly, and there’s a flash of something in his eyes—pity, perhaps—but it’s gone almost as quickly as it appeared.

“And you haven’t loved since?” He asks, his tone almost soft in comparison to his usual authoritative demeanour. You nearly forgot you were talking to the most terrifying man in all of Ravka.

“... I don't think I can.” You chuckled tiredly.

The Shadow Summoner raises an eyebrow at your admission, and there’s a hint of surprise in his expression. He seems to be studying you intently, as if trying to understand you better. His voice is quiet as he responds.

“Why not?”

“Probably can't handle the grief if I lost someone I loved all over again,” you admitted. You were now quite aware of your horrible coping mechanisms; the constant self-deception and spiral into madness you often fell into. Can you ever escape them? You don't know.

He nods slowly, a hint of understanding in his gaze. “But you truly don’t think you can ever love again, Miss Maximoff?”

“No.”

But that was a lie. You already did love again when you arrived into their world. Henrik, Dmitri, and Katyusha were living proof of your love. They would have likely died from either starvation, the cold, illness, or Grisha hunters had you not intervened.

Kirigan’s gaze is fixed on you as he continues to walk again. There’s a frown on his face, as if your words have stirred something in him that he can’t quite identify. He’s silent for a few more moments before he comments.

“That’s quite lonely, isn’t it?” He touched one of the white rose bushes, mindful of the thorns.

You chuckled again, “Sometimes, solitude is the easier option, General.”

There’s a tinge of understanding—and maybe his own loneliness—that makes it clear he knows what you're talking about. After a minute of walking in silence, you decide to share your thoughts to the man. You might be overstepping, but it was a change of topic you needed.

“You told me earlier that I have a… talent for avoiding attention, sir,” you start. “Perhaps I simply prefer to watch than act.”

He looks at you out of the corner of his eye, his expression unreadable. For a moment, it seems like he's not going to respond, but then he lets out a small huff, almost as if he finds the truth in your observation amusing.

“You must be quite observant, then, hm?” he mutters.

“There is much one can see when on the sidelines,” you answer, frowning as you spot a relatively large snail on a leaf. At the sight of the pest, he lets out a soft huff—almost a chuckle, but it’s hard to tell for sure. He takes a step closer to you, his eyes following yours to the plant and the snail on it.

“Ah, so you notice everything?” he asks, his tone a little more teasing now.

“I'm just the gardener. Hardly everything, sir.” You excuse myself, quietly retrieving the snail and placing it into a glass jar you procured from your pockets.

The Black General watches in silence as you handle the snail, his expression a mix of intrigue and amusement. He gazes at the snail in the jar.

“... Do you often keep a jar at the ready? Expecting to find a snail?”

“Or some ravenous caterpillars munching on my hard work,” you snort. Kirigan lets out a real chuckle this time at your answer. There’s a hint of a smile on his face as he glances at the jar in your hand.

“Can’t have those pests ruining your precious plants, can we, Miss Maximoff?”

You raise a brow, a tiny grin on your face—the first he’s seen. “Technically, you're the head of the Little Palace, so it's your plants, not mine, General.”

He glances at you, amused. He lets out another soft huff, his gaze flickering from you to the plants around you. Alas, you reached the end of your walk in the palace garden.

“I hope the garden's... state of being was to your liking, sir.” You bow your head.

He nods, his expression now more aloof. “It’s up to my standards, yes. You’ve done well.” The Shadow Summoner says this almost distractedly, as if the status of the garden is not his primary concern at the moment. His eyes are still fixed on you, his gaze sharp and perceptive as he studies your features.

“... Is there anything I may assist you with, moi soverenyi?”

General Kirigan hesitates for a moment, considering your question. His gaze shifts from you to the garden around him, almost as if he’s thinking of an excuse to keep you here a little longer. But then, he seems to decide against it, and the expression on his face becomes impassive.

“No.” His voice was measured. But then, he adds, “You may just want to consider planting moonflowers."

You think over his suggestion, then give a small smile. “Very well, sir. I'll see to it.”

And then, without another word, he turns and strides away, disappearing into the Little Palace corridors.

ᱬᗢᱬ

You don't notice—a mere week later—that by chance, the Black General had been near the Little Palace lake when you were secretly visiting Henrik, Dmitri, and Katyusha at the Grisha children's school. At first, he was wondering why there were kids were sneaking away somewhere from the supervision of their teachers.

Now, he understood.

You may be talented at gardening, but it wasn't the main reason why you were even at the Little Palace, Kirigan realized. Not even close.

When he spots you handing them candies from the kitchens, laughing as they embraced you, kissing their foreheads so tenderly—he hums, extremely pleased with himself that he decided to visit the summoners' pavilion and the lake this afternoon.

The fates were on his side today.

Aleksander was going to have to look into the history of those three Grisha children and how on earth his gardener knew them so closely.

next chapter

Please, please, please reblog, heart, and/or comment for support! (And maybe more ideas!) Comment or message to be added to the taglist! 💕

#thera.writes #the darkling #darkling x reader #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #scarlet witch #wanda maximoff #shadow and bone #wandavision #multiverse of madness #grishaverse.works

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merymoonbeam · 2 months ago

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Book of Breathings - Elain - Ankh Symbol

First of all this is tied to my "a tool of creation" theory so you can read that first if you want.

We first learned about book of breathings in acomaf. To nullify the Cauldron.

“When the Cauldron was made,” the carver interrupted, “its dark maker used the last of the molten ore to forge a book. The Book of Breathings. In it, written between the carved words, are the spells to negate the Cauldron’s power—or control it wholly. But after the War, it was split into two pieces. One went to the Fae, one to the six human queens. It was part of the Treaty, purely symbolic, as the Cauldron had been lost for millennia and considered mere myth. The Book was believed harmless, because like calls to like—and only that which was Made can speak those spells and summon its power. No creature born of the earth may wield it, so the High Lords and humans dismissed it as little more than a historical heirloom, but if the Book were in the hands of something reforged … You would have to test such a theory, of course—but … it might be possible.” (acomaf)

And as the books went on...we got the two half of the books and finally the book is somehow in cc world.

So lets start with this theory post.

The name of the book comes from Egyptian Mythology

The Books of Breathing (Arabic: كتاب التنفس Kitāb al-Tanafus) are several ancient Egyptian funerary texts, intended to enable deceased people to continue existing in the afterlife. The earliest known copy dates to circa 350 BC.[1] Other copies come from the Ptolemaic Kingdom and Roman Egypt, as late as the 2nd century AD.[2] It is a simplified form of the Book of the Dead

This information will be important for later. And in the meantime I made a post about koshei's onyx box connecting to this if you wanna read it.

Okay moving on...

I was looking at acotar coloring book pages and book of breathings drawing is... interesting.

Side not: sarah got the deals for the acotar books and then worked on the coloring book so I think this is important to add bc she LOVES to add hints as little things and whats better to add than a coloring book?

The circles of silver, gold and bronz.

It had been formed of dark metal plates bound on three rings of gold, silver, and bronze, each word carved with painstaking precision, in an alphabet I could not recognize. Yes, it indeed turned out my reading lessons were unnecessary.

I think these might be related to the book names of the new acotar books.

Silver flames

Gold(en) XX

Bronz XX (for vassa maybe? Bc she is a bird of flame...flame and bronze???)

Okay back to the other things.

The star(sun?) in the middle. When you first look at it it is like a sun but when you take into account that the asteri made this book and there is the starborn symbol of 8pointed star...its probably an eight pointed star.

She stared and stared at the Book—as if it were a ghost, as if it were a miracle—and said, “It is the Leshon Hakodesh. The Holy Tongue.” Those quicksilver eyes shifted to Rhysand, and I realized she’d understood, too, why she’d gone. Rhysand said, “I heard a legend that it was written in a tongue of mighty beings who feared the Cauldron’s power and made the Book to combat it. Mighty beings who were here … and then vanished. You are the only one who can uncode it.” (acomaf)

Amren turned to Rhysand and said in that new, strange language—their language: “The glowing letters inked on her back … they’re the same as those in the Book of Breathings.” (hofas)

“I can teach you things you’ve never even dreamed of,” Rigelus promised. “The language inked on your back—it is our language. From our home world. I can teach you how to wield it. Any world might be open to you, Bryce Quinlan. Name the world, and it shall be yours.”(hofas)

Also in the coloring book the ships of the papa archeron have these on them.

Feyre: moon and stars

Nesta: sun?

Elain: eight pointed star 👀

So for feyre it checks out. For nesta...why sun? When she had eight pointed star tattoed on her back(tho now it is gone after the deal with cassian is done) I thought what could the sun mean? The cover of acosf.

That's a sun. Also it is interesting that the High Lord of Day had such a negative reaction to the mask...🤔

And now... eight pointed star for elain? That remains to be seen what it could mean...👀

So thats out of the way and now we will look into the symbol at the bottom and top which I found out is the symbol of Ankh...from Egyptian Mythology.

The ankh or key of life is an ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic symbol used to represent the word for "life" and, by extension, as a symbol of life itself.

The ankh has a T-shape topped by a droplet-shaped loop. It was used in writing as a triliteral sign, representing a sequence of three consonants, Ꜥ-n-ḫ. This sequence was found in several Egyptian words, including the terms for "mirror", "floral bouquet", and "life". The symbol often appeared in Egyptian art as a physical object representing either life or related life-giving substances such as air or water. Commonly depicted in the hands of ancient Egyptian deities, sometimes being given by them to the pharaoh, it represents their power to sustain life and to revive human souls in the afterlife.

Life...soul? We always say how Nesta is death and Elain got the life. Maybe it is more correct than we had thought???

And now the bird on the cover. There is no mention of bird symbol being on the cover of the book.(Im pretty sure of this but if Im wrong...it still stand that the only quote the book of breathings has said with bird is this) So why add bird? The only time Book of Breathings is connected with a bird is this quote:

The other one, the Book hissed. Bring the other one … let us be joined, let us be free. I slid the Book from my pocket, tucking it into the crook of my arm as I tugged the second half free. Lovely girl, beautiful bird—so sweet, so generous … Together together together

Which I totally think it is about Elain and Vassa.

Lovely girl? Elain. There is SO MANY quotes with elain and lovely.

Beautiful bird? Vassa...bird of flame.

And I made a bigger post about this(the other one) if you wanna read it.

So maybe we really need to get the book of breathings back? And Elain will use it to control cauldron?

#elriel #cauldron #book of breathings #ankh symbol #this is kind of mess but I cant deal with making it look that pretty so here you go...

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meaningofaeons · 1 year ago

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Hi, how are you?? I hope that you're doing good. May I request how the HSR boys (Mainly Jing Yuan, Dan Heng, Gepard, Sampo and Caelus, if you want to add more it's ok) would react to their s/o doing something embarrassing?? I remember one time where I was out with my friends and out of nowhere I tripped and fell to the floor, my bubble tea just exploded under my chest and everyone was looking 💀 my friends split into two groups, the ones actually worried and the other ones who were just laughing, one even fell into some bushes because they couldn't stand properly 🧍‍♂️I hope it makes sense, rather than seeing it as something bad, maybe make it funny(?

sorry for my bad english🗿🥑💖

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ klutz

⊹ character(s) - gepard landau, jing yuan, sampo koski ⊹ word count - 938 ⊹ notes - gn!reader, fluff, reader is kind of a klutz, all just cute stuff lmfao

hi anon! don't apologize, your english is very good! I actually only do 3 characters per req so I just went with these 3, hope that's okay! feel free to send in another req for dan heng if you'd like!! (I don't write for caelus im srry </3) thank you for the req and I hope you're doing well too! (=^･ｪ･^=))ﾉ彡☆

⊹ Gepard Landau

You can't tell me that Gepard isn't the kind to completely freak out if something like that happened to you

He's quite protective, so even if you're unharmed, something embarrassing happening for you like tripping is cause for concern for the boy!!!

"Oh my god! Y/N, are you okay?! Here, let me help you..."

It's a little awkward sometimes only because if you try to laugh it off, Gepard is totally adamant that you have nothing to feel awkward or embarrassed about

"This kind of thing happens to everyone. Please don't apologize!"

On the other hand, if it's something not involving potential bodily harm, I still don't think he'd laugh at you

At least, not too much

Gepard is the kind to be 100% sure you're okay before he even thinks of laughing at the situation

But in scenarios where you trip or possibly get hurt, he forgets the whole "laugh" part.

Still, if you were to do something like wave at someone who you thought was waving at you on accident (and they were actually waving at someone behind you) he'd... probably let a small chuckle slip.

It's even more embarrassing than bombastic laughter, arguably, because he's trying to hide it but it's so evident that he's amused

Would treat you to your favorite snack afterwards though as an apology!

He definitely gets worried that you're actually mad when he lets a small giggle slip, but you never are

"Y/N? Come on, I didn't mean to... I'm sorry!"

Let him trail after you a bit longer, it's cute to see him acting like an obedient puppy

⊹ Jing Yuan

Jing Yuan is the dignified General of the Cloud Knights. As such, he knows how to keep his composure.

Most of the time.

Truth be told, as much as the man is dedicated to his job and public appearance, he doesn't really feel like a cold, distant General. Even in public, but especially not in close quarters.

He's amicable, he smiles, he greets his people

But the first time anyone outside of the Seat of Divine Foresight had ever seen Jing Yuan laugh out loud was because of you.

When you stumbled into a pond in the gardens of the Central Starskiff Haven, your lovely boyfriend had barked one single, obvious cackle.

He was quick to politely put a hand over his mouth, but as your head popped up from the water, you had scowled.

There was an obvious smirk on his lips as he helped you out.

It had caught the attention of the (few, but still present) people nearby, so the two of you were quick to make your exit, your face burning red

Now, no matter how much he says it, Jing Yuan doesn't really feel sorry after...

Unless you really lay it on with the dramatics on how much it "upset" you.

Get this man to dote on you, because he totally will

Spoiling you rotten afterwards in exchange for genuine, pure laughter? Sign the General up!

He'll start off with gifts and treats, but if you keep up the façade, he'll eventually just start putting his hands all over you and hanging off your shoulder with overexaggerated theatrics.

"I do wish my dear Y/N would forgive this old man already... I didn't mean a thing by it..."

Don't leave him hanging too long, though—he will get too clingy trying to "earn your forgiveness" and no work will get done that day.

⊹ Sampo Koski

Let's not kid ourselves, Sampo's bursting out laughing the second you topple over

I dare say this guy is even whipping out his phone to take pictures of your blunder like the little shit he is.

Don't worry, though—those photos will never reach the eyes of others. They're for him to giggle at when he's taking a break from his work, or sit in bed and coo over how cute you were pouting at him for his tearful chuckles.

Sampo is sort of the opposite of Gepard in this scenario

If you trip or do something that could've led to unlikely harm, he's still laughing his ass off at you first

Only if you're actually hurt will he calm down and help you out, but it's always superficial wounds so he's still wiping the tears from his own eyes when he bandages your wounds

Oh, he's so smarmy when you get upset though.

"Aww, is my sweetheart mad? I'm sowwy!"

Baby voice to the max, clasping his hands together like a repentant maiden, it's hard to discern which is more embarrassing—your accident or his behavior after.

He's teasing you about it for weeks after.

Again, the pictures he takes of the incidents (if he deems them funny enough) are for his eyes only, but the story is not for his ears only

Everyone in Boulder Town hears about the incident before the week ends. I feel bad for you, poor reader...

Especially right after, if you get "upset" with him, he'll be pinching your cheeks and cooing over you

He turns up the "act like a little old lady crooning over a cute youngster" act to the maximum too, which can be annoying, but it can also turn your embarrassment into amusement and laughter

Honestly, most of the time when he's treating you like that after a blunder, it's because he wants you to see the humor in it too

Doesn't want you to be hard on yourself for doing something kinda embarrassing—happens to the best of us!

Still, make him treat you afterwards. He'll do it eventually, you just have to get through the annoying antics first.

#sampo x reader #sampo koski x reader #sampo koski #sampo #hsr #hsr x reader #gepard #gepard landau #gepard x reader #gepard landau x reader #jingyuan #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #jingyuan x reader #honkai #honkai x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader

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offtorivendell · 3 days ago

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Why is Azriel so "different"?On Dusk, Hel and the Valg...

This post was written for @azrielappreciationweek Days 1, 2 and 3: Cool Quiet, Scarred and Belonging

Disclaimer: the following is only a theory which, as usual, makes no claim of being canon. It's LONG, even though I've almost certainly forgotten to add some thoughts I've misplaced. I'm sorry, but by the time I realised how stupidly long it would be I cbf splitting it up into smaller posts, so... no offence taken if this gets chucked into the too-hard basket.

My thanks, as always, go out to the lovely @wingedblooms, @ladynightcourt3 (the queen of quotes), @silverlinedeyes, @psychologynerd, @elrieldreamer, @cassianfanclub @shitwillnotbegiven, and anyone else who has helped me process my thoughts along the way. 💜

Spoilers: the entire Maasverse is referenced, reader beware.

One theory that seems to be (mostly lol) accepted across the fandom is that Azriel, the shadowsinger of Prythian's Night Court, may be more than simply Illyrian. Back in 2021, before reading the Crescent City series, I had wondered whether he might be descended from the Dusk Court (here, here and here), but after HOSAB was published - and then HOFAS especially - I had other thoughts. This post is just incredibly fucking belated.

Firstly, what evidence do we have to suggest that Azriel is different?

Quite a bit, in my opinion. From the moment Feyre met Azriel back in ACOMAF, there have been hints that, even beyond his seven siphons, he is not your average Illyrian warrior. That he may, in fact, be significantly different even to Rhys and Cassian.

As we can see, Feyre felt his otherness right from the start.

But the second male, the more classically beautiful of the two … Even the light shied from the elegant planes of his face. With good reason. Beautiful, but near-unreadable. He’d be the one to look out for—the knife in the dark. Indeed, an obsidian-hilted hunting knife was sheathed at his thigh, its dark scabbard embossed with a line of silver runes I’d never seen before. Rhys said, “This is Azriel—my spymaster.” Not surprising. Some buried instinct had me checking that my mental shields were intact. Just in case. - ACOMAF, chapter 16

Now, there's a lot to unpack in that brief passage - and I aim to do so over the course of this post - but let's begin with Feyre's instinct to ward against Azriel; a reaction that was unique to him. This was followed by further suggestions that Azriel is not purely Illyrian throughout the rest of the series, some of which are quite blatant.

Cassian finished his laughing. “Illyrians are certainly not High Fae. And glad of it.” He hooked his black hair behind an ear—rounded; as mine had once been. “And we’re not lesser faeries, though some try to call us that. We’re just—Illyrians. Considered expendable aerial cavalry for the Night Court at the best of times, mindless soldier grunts at the worst.” “Which is most of the time,” Azriel clarified. I didn’t dare ask if those shadows were a part of being Illyrian, too. - ACOMAF, chapter 16

"You'll get used to it—the wording," he said. Clinging to him so tightly, I couldn't see his face. I watched the light shift inside the sapphire Siphon instead, as if it were the great eye of some half-slumbering beast from a frozen wasteland. "I don't really know where I fit in any- more," I admitted, perhaps only because the wind was screeching around us and Rhys had already winnowed ahead to where Cassian's dark form flew-beyond the wall. "I've been alive almost five and a half centuries, and I'm not sure of that, either," Azriel said. - ACOMAF, chapter 22

Azriel just shook his head. "I'll go. The Prison sentries know me—what I am." - ACOWAR, chapter 16

I was rasping for breath, sweat sliding down my spine, by the time he said, "Good." He cleared his throat. "I know you're not Illyrian, but amongst their kind, it is considered inappropriate to touch someone's wings without permission. Especially females." Their kind. Not his. - ACOWAR, chapter 19

One glance at Azriel’s unreadable face and I added, “Don’t bother to answer that.” A corner of Azriel’s mouth curled up, the shadows about him sliding over his neck like living tattoos, twins to the Illyrian ones marked beneath his leathers. Shadows different from anything my powers summoned, spoke to. Born in a lightless, airless prison meant to break him. Instead, he had learned its language. Though the cobalt Siphons were proof that his Illyrian heritage ran true, even the rich lore of that warrior-people, my warrior-people, did not have an explanation for where the shadowsinger gifts came from. They certainly weren’t connected to the Siphons, to the raw killing power most Illyrians possessed and channeled through the stones to keep from destroying everything in its path. The bearer included. - ACOFAS, chapter 7

"Azriel can winnow all the time, though." "Az is different. In a lot of ways." His tone didn't invite further questioning. - ACOSF, chapter 16

He left the rest unspoken. Because her mate was here, sleeping a level up. Because her mate had been in the family room and Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much. - ACOSF, Azriel's Bonus Chapter

There was even a hint or two about Azriel's possible Starborn heritage in HOFAS, thanks to Bryce.

“What have you done?” Azriel rasped, and Bryce twisted to find him on his feet, wings tucked in, Nesta leaning against him as if wounded, Ataraxia dangling from her grip. The male now held the Starsword at the ready, Truth-Teller gripped in his other hand. He must have had some sort of Starborn blood in him, then—a distant ancestor, maybe. Or maybe his possession of the knife somehow allowed him to also bear the Starsword. - HOFAS, chapter 24

Obviously Azriel is still Illyrian, I don't know anybody who disputes that in a non-crack theory manner, but it seems likely to me that he's also something more¹. All of the above hints about his shadowsinging powers, his own feelings of otherness to his people, and - potentially² - his ability to smell the Elucien bond as Lanthys did Nessian, the fact that we have yet to meet his mother? Is it simple coincidence, or intentional hints?

I could definitely be wrong, but I'm choosing the latter.

¹ "More" as in quantity, not quality. This is by no means a diss at Cassian or Rhys.

² To be fair, the true mate theory could also explain this; by the point in ACOSF that Nesta and Cassian met Lanthys they'd already been intimate, even if their bond was not yet "accepted."

The Dusk Court

As mentioned above - here, here, and here - I've been wondering for a long while if Azriel could be connected to the Dusk Court (or what remains of it).

I'd even started a meta on it, one of many that I lost track of and then never got around to finishing because my magpie brain latched onto other shiny theories or books, but the gist of it was that Azriel's mother (or, more likely imo, a distant female relative, such as his grandmother) hailed from Dusk. Given I thought the Hewn City/Court of Nightmares was the Dusk Court acting as a sub court to the Night Court, I had written an entire spiel about how one of Lord Thanatos' troublesome daughters may have been this female ancestor who fell in love and had a child with an Illyrian warrior who died prematurely, leaving her with nothing (not even a family who would take her back, because Hewn City bullshit amiright? Especially if she was unable to have further children after birthing a winged child), and that we hadn't met Azriel's mother yet because she might have spoilery traits like small/different wings or her own shadows. I went a lot deeper - funnily enough, my thoughts actually mirrored quite a bit of Hunt's mother's relationship with the father he never met (HOFAS, chapter 61) - and even wondered if this was partly why the Darkbringers and Illyrian soldiers disliked each other in ACOWAR... but those are the basics.

HOSAB then gave a different sort of importance to Lord Thanatos, but I don't think it necessarily precludes my original theory being right somehow, especially as "daughter" might be used as loosely as "son" was by Apollion in HOFAS, to mean that some power was donated for their creation. Even now, I still suspect Azriel may have hidden - or even corrupted - Starborn powers, which should indicate some minimum level of Dusk-based heritage.

While we now know the Made blades can be wielded by the Starborn - descendants of the Dusk Court - in addition to Made faeries such as Elain Archeron, I always suspected that Truth-Teller was much more important than we knew from the start (and I know I'm not the only one intrigued by the blade). After reading Crescent City, the parallels between Azriel's and Ruhn's almost guardianship of their respective magical blades until a female character³ came along to activate their power seemed to be significant (though of course with Elain it's still hypothetical, as we haven't had her POV yet).

³ Bryce may have been Theia's magical heir (though I suspect it may be through Ember rather than Einar), but she lives on Midgard - an entirely different planet. While the Archeron sisters may (or may not) spring from more humble beginnings than Fae royalty, imo they do share some notable parallels with Bryce and Theia herself. I discussed those in this post after HOSAB came out; since reading HOFAS, I suspect the Archeron sisters will grow to, as a unit, replace the Starborn magic that Bryce took, leaving Prythian unguarded. The power of three will set the land free, so to speak.

But back to Azriel. We know that Ruhn Danaan - the shadowy male who claimed the Starsword/Gwydion until a female associated with light came along and was able to activate its magic... sounds familiar, huh - is a Starborn prince who can wield shadows, and has some powers that appear similar to Az (shadow walking and mind speaking), though imo it may have been suggested that his light - aka Pelias' light - might be considered corrupt by Rigelus (while posing as Aidas).

Is Azriel's light magic corrupted as well?

“You knew the last Starborn Queen?” Ruhn asked. Starlight glinted among Ruhn’s shadows, shimmering down the length of his sword. Aidas’s eyes now flared with a strange sort of rage as he looked upon the Fae Prince. “I did. And I knew the sniveling prince whose light you bear.” A ripple of stunned silence went through the room. [...] “Theia was dead by that point,” Aidas said flatly. “Pelias slew her.” He nodded to the Starsword in Ruhn’s hand. “And stole her blade when he’d finished.” He snarled. “That sword belongs to Theia’s female heir. Not the male offspring who corrupted her line.” - HOSAB, chapter 15

Morven’s shadows gathered at his fingers, his shoulders. Wild, angry shadows that Ruhn’s own balked to meet. They seemed corrupted somehow, like those Seamus and Duncan wielded mentally. “You are Starborn. You have an obligation to our people.” - HOFAS, chapter 51

Further, Cormac and Morven Donnall are both Starborn and Avallen faeries, with "wild" shadows that seem to more closely mirror Azriel's own.

“How the hell did you manage to survive this long without anyone killing you?” Cassian tipped back his head and laughed, a full, rich sound that bounced off the ruddy stones of the House. Azriel’s brows flicked up with approval as the shadows seemed to wrap tighter around him. As if he were the dark hive from which they flew and returned. - ACOMAF, chapter 16

Azriel nodded his agreement, his shadows twining around him. Most of the camp women had ducked into their homes when he’d appeared. - ACOWAR, chapter 18

She set down her teacup. “Is that a threat, Shadowsinger?” Cassian took a long drink from his own tea. Drained it to the dregs. Azriel said coolly, “I don’t need to resort to threats.” The shadows coiled around him, snakes ready to strike. - ACOSF, chapter 8

Azriel nodded his agreement, his shadows twining around him. Most of the camp women had ducked into their homes when he’d appeared. - ACOFAS, chapter 26

The thought was … not comforting. But neither were the shadows that curled like snakes around the king, wild and twining. A coiled crown of them sat atop Morven’s dark head, blacker than the Pit. - HOFAS, chapter 47

Without delving into the "why" of their wildness - was it the magical imbalance of the chained land that led to their wilder shadows, their prolonged proximity to an incredibly strong thin place (the obsidian or mists), was their line intentionally corrupted by a high power as Prythian's Cauldron was, or do they potentially have ties to demons, or the princes of Hel themselves? - it's not implausible to suggest that Azriel could also hail from the Starborn Fae of the Dusk Court, same as Rhys.

That being said, I think Hel will also play a part...

Prince of Hel

As I suggested in this reblog of @nikethestatue's post from way back when, I've been eyeing off one Lord Thanatos of the Hewn City (and his wayward, troublesome daughters) for a while. So when SJM dropped the bomb in HOSAB that the Prince of the Ravine, the soul eater, was called Thanatos, I was basically shaking my feet and screaming internally.

Because it had to be the same being, right? Right?!

I know I'm not the only one who noted the use of Thanatos' name, as others across the fandom have since suggested that Azriel may be related to the princes of Hel, or even be one himself... and as I've said before, I would not be surprised if this was the case (actually, at this point I would be shocked if Azriel wasn't related to the Hel Princes in some way, especially after what we learnt of Hunt's ancestry in HOFAS).

“Fine,” Hunt cut in. “Great, we’re protected.” He eyed the Prince of the Pit. His very bones shook, but he forced himself past his fear, his dread. “What the fuck did you mean by calling me son?” Thanatos scoffed. “You are no son of his.” He yanked off his war helmet, cradling it under an arm. “If anything, you are mine.” Hunt’s knees buckled. “What?” [...] “Because the Princes of Hel cannot be contained by the black crowns. The Asteri learned that—it was their downfall. As you were made by Hel’s princes, it should not be able to hold you.” Made by them? By these fuckers? - HOFAS, chapter 59

“Can we please rewind for a moment?” Bryce cut in. “You guys made the thunderbirds to complement my power—in case I never got the sword and knife, and if I ever needed a boost to open the Rift. But when they were hunted down, you … made Hunt, and then I was born …” “Athalar was already enslaved by then,” Aidas said, “but we kept a close watch.” Apollion nodded to Hunt. “Why do you think you’re so adept at hunting demons? It’s in your blood—part of me is in your blood.” Nausea clawed its way up Hunt’s throat. The thought of owing anything at all to the Prince of the Pit … “Just as he gave over some of his essence for the kristallos,” Thanatos said, “so he gave something to me for you. His Helfire.” “Helfire?” Bryce demanded. “The lightning,” Thanatos said, waving an irritated hand. “Capable of killing almost anything. Even an Asteri.” “That’s how you killed Sirius?” Bryce asked. “With your … Helfire?” “Yes,” Apollion said, then added to Hunt, “Your name was a nod to that, whispered in your mother’s ear as you were born. Orion … master of Sirius.” “Clever,” Hunt snapped, then demanded, “Wait—my lightning can kill the Asteri?” Hope bloomed, bright and beautiful in his chest. “No,” Apollion said. “It is … diluted from my own. It could harm them, but not kill them. I believe your mother’s angelic blood tempered my power.” - HOFAS, chapter 61

“Your father knew your mother briefly,” Aidas said. “And he knew having a partner would help lift her from her poverty. He had every intention of staying. Of leaving behind his life and raising you in secret.” Hunt could barely ask, “What happened?” “The mystics told Rigelus of your father’s connection to us. They didn’t discover everything—nothing about you or your mother. Only that he had been speaking to us. Rigelus had him brought in, tortured, and executed.” Hunt’s heart stalled. “He didn’t break,” Apollion said with something like kindness. “He never mentioned your mother, or her pregnancy. The Asteri never knew you were tied to him in any way.” - HOFAS, chapter 61

Bryce squeezed his knee, her hand so warm—or was he unnaturally cold? “Okay, so Hunt was made to be a backup battery for me—” “Can I do the same for Ruhn, then?” Hunt interrupted. “No,” Thanatos said. “The prince’s light, his affinity for these thin places, isn’t strong enough. Not like hers.” Hunt gripped Bryce’s hand atop his knee. “Is it in my DNA that Bryce and I are mates? Was that engineered, too?” “No,” Aidas said quickly, “that was never intended. I think that was left to higher powers. Whatever they may be.” Hunt turned to Bryce and found nothing but love in her eyes. He couldn’t stand it. Horror cracked through him, as chilled as hoarfrost. He’d been created by these males to give and to suffer, and where the fuck did that leave him? Who the fuck did that make him? “Okay,” Bryce said, “Helfire and starfire: a potent combination. But Helena left all this shit to help end this conflict. It sounds like you guys just want me to open a gods-damned door for you to come in and save the day instead.” - HOFAS, chapter 61

Thanatos used some of Apollion's helfire (lightning) to create Hunt as a weapon for Bryce, so it stands to reason that he may have done something similar in the Hewn City/Court of Nightmares that eventually resulted in Azriel, possibly with a different Prince of Hel - was it Koschei, or even himself - leaving "poisoned honey" on Prythian in case the Daglan/Asteri ever regained power? Feyre once referred to Azriel as a "dark hive," and we now know that he often helped Cassian to hunt down monstrous creatures like Blue Annis... could this be why? Does he have a natural talent for it, like Hunt? Was Az also created for a specific purpose?

I've been on the "Azriel and Elain are carranam" train from the time I joined the fandom, and since then I really do think that the three brothers and three sisters will act as paired conduits to save their world, as I mentioned in my third note above. In addition to the parallels I've noted between the Archeron sisters and Bryce (and Theia), Elain and Az shared a "charged" glance in ACOSF.

Nesta shook her head slowly, not understanding. Elain just linked her arm through Nesta’s and led her toward the family room, where Azriel stood in the doorway, monitoring them. As if he’d heard Elain’s sharp laugh and wondered what had caused it. “I was just checking on dessert,” Elain explained as they approached the doorway and Azriel. Nesta met the shadowsinger’s stare and he gave her a nod. Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it. Between them. Elain’s breath caught slightly, and she gave him a shallow nod of greeting before brushing past, leading Nesta into the room. - ACOSF, chapter 58

The very first book of the ACOTAR series confirmed that magic can appear as a charge in Prythian...

I opened my mouth to again ask him for his name, but a growl of annoyance rippled out of him. I didn’t have a chance to struggle, to fight back, when a charged, metallic tang stung my nose. Exhaustion slammed down upon me and blackness swallowed me whole. [...] I awoke with a jolt atop the horse, secured by invisible bonds. The sun was already high. Magic—that’s what the tang had been, what was keeping my limbs tucked in tight, preventing me from going for my knife. - ACOTAR, chapter 5

And then HOFAS gave us this - Azriel learning that he can charge up a Starborn Fae. A point that was so important to make that SJM ignored - or had reasons we are yet to learn - the fact that Azriel could have winnowed the three of them across the gap himself. Curious, given how she made doubly sure we knew how "different" Az was in ACOSF.

But Bryce frowned deeply at Azriel. “Do you ever use that power to, uh, charge people up?” “Charge?” “Fuel. Um. Give your power to someone else to help their power.” “Are you implying that I could do such a thing to you?” “I’m pretty sure the concept of a battery won’t have much meaning here, but yeah. My magic can be amplified by someone else’s power.” The other untranslatable word—battery—lay heavy on her tongue. But Nesta looked her over. “For what purpose?” “So I can teleport.” Another word that didn’t translate. “Winnow.” She pointed to the other side of the divide. “I could winnow us over there.” - HOFAS, chapter 16

Obviously there's always the possibility that SJM simply wrote that Azriel didn't winnow because A) he didn't want to expose any further facets of his magic unnecessarily to a Fae he had no reason to trust, or B) he wanted to see what Bryce could do, but what if it was C) that he lacked the strength to winnow at the time, as @ladynightcourt3 has so brilliantly thought? Because potentially, if light can blind an Oracle - one who may or may not use the murky realm of the Void to See - then there's a possibility that their growing proximity to the power chained deep in the land, or even Vesperus herself, may have made Azriel less able to see where he was going with his shadows to safely winnow them. Or was it that, similarly to whatever bond that exists between Elain and Lucien becoming too much for Azriel to bear, maybe the singing between Gwydion and Truth-Teller was distracting him?

As an aside, furthering the parallel between Hunt and Bryce that I noted earlier, I think the following passages support the idea that Azriel may be able to charge Elain, or that Elain can charge him as well, in addition to suggesting that he may be able to sense minds, or enter some that are more susceptible.

And what Hybern would do to Elain, might already be doing— From the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in answer to some unspoken debate, “I’m getting her back.” Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azriel’s hazel eyes glowed golden in the shadows. Nesta said, “Then you will die.” Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, “I’m getting her back.” - ACOWAR, chapter 64

Azriel slid back the curtain— Elain was in her nightgown. Gagged, wrists wrapped in steel that glowed violet. Her eyes went wide as she saw us—Azriel and me— I shifted my face back into my own, raising a hand to my lips as Azriel knelt before her. I kept up my litany of praying, beseeching the Cauldron to make my womb fruitful, on and on— Azriel gently removed the gag from her mouth. “Are you hurt?” She shook her head, devouring the sight of him as if not quite believing it. “You came for me.” The shadowsinger only inclined his head. “Hurry,” I whispered, then resumed my prayer. We had until it ran out. - ACOWAR, chapter 65

Azriel’s power gave out on the outskirts of our camp. The girl, despite the burns and lashings on her moon-white skin, was able to walk. The gray light of morning had broken over the world, mist clinging to our ankles as we headed into that camp, Azriel still cradling Elain to his chest. He dripped blood behind him the entire time—a trickle compared to the torrent that should be leaking out. Contained only by the patches of power he’d slapped on it. Help—he needed a healer immediately. - ACOWAR, chapter 65

Azriel didn’t give Rhys a chance to reconsider. Didn’t say good-bye to any of us. He shot into the sky, those still-healing wings beating hard as they carried him toward the scrambling northern flank. - ACOWAR, chapter 71

Elain’s mouth twitched into a smile. "Nesta wouldn't appreciate the joke.” He offered her a smile back. "I wasn't sure if I should give you your present." He left the rest unspoken. Because her mate was here, sleeping a level up. Because her mate had been in the family room and Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much. Elain's large brown eyes flickered, well aware of all that. Just as he knew she was well aware of why Azriel so rarely came to family dinners these days. - ACOSF, Azriel's bonus chapter

We know that Elain likely shares that strong affinity for thin places, as may Az. Feyre mentioned the gray light of morning, mist around their ankles. Does this make them the ideal conduits for each other, as Hunt and Bryce were? As Feyre and Rhys - and, I suspect, Nesta and Cassian - are? Are they all meant to be "weapons" against a long, deeply sleeping foe?

Finally, let's revisit the first passage I mentioned at the top of this post, when Feyre first met Azriel:

Hunt stilled. There was only one being whose name was not uttered in Midgard. The Prince of the Pit. Apollion. His blood chilled. This was a fucked-up, weird-ass dream, no doubt caused by Quinlan literally blowing his mind into smithereens— “It is no dream.” The seventh and most lethal of the demon princes of Hel was in his mind— “I am not in your mind, though your thoughts ripple toward me like your world’s radio waves. You and I are in a place between our worlds. A pocket-realm, as it were.” “What do you want?” Hunt’s voice held steady, but—fuck. He needed to get out of here, to find some way back to Bryce. If the Prince of the Pit could get into Hunt’s mind, then— “If I went into her mind, my brother would be very angry with me. Again.” Hunt could have sworn he heard a smile in the prince’s voice. “You certainly worry a great deal about a female who is far safer than you at the moment.” - HOSAB, chapter 21

“During my time with Theia, Helena was a quiet girl, but she always listened.” “You spoke too much,” Thanatos snapped. Aidas ignored him. “Helena learned black salt would allow her to commune with us while protecting her mind and her soul.” - HOFAS, chapter 59

Given the princes of Hel were fathered by the Void - Apollion, the Prince of the Pit, said he resides in true darkness and has the ability to enter minds - and mothered by Chaos (who is possibly Wyrd?⁴), that they are attracted by obsidian (the material from which Truth-Teller's hilt is made), who may or may not use wyrdmarks that might match the runes on Truth-Teller's hilt (post on this to come), who appear to be able to use a black salt-induced dream state to communicate across worlds with their minds... it seems a little more than coincidental to me that Feyre would think to protect her mind from Azriel.

⁴ A personal crack theory that I'd love to be true - I think the eight pointed star may be Urd/Wyrd's or Chaos' symbol: a Chaos star. @wingedblooms has discussed Wyrd and Chaos here and here.

I once noted Azriel's similarities to Koschei, who can send his whispers on the wind, twisting distant minds to do his bidding. If Koschei is a prince of Hel - the sixth prince, of the Abyss? - could he have contributed towards Azriel's creation, either directly, or through the making of a female ancestor? Azriel has the ability to speak the language of shadow, wind and stone, which could plausibly tie in with Koschei as a hell prince: void, wind and obsidian. Or if it was Thanatos - the eater of souls - does this affect Azriel's ability to sense others around him, as Rhys once suggested? We know he's capable of using his shadows to read people. Was Azriel's existence, intentional or not, a secret like Hunt's?

Or to be completely cracked, is Azriel actually the heir to a currently empty throne in Hel?

Elide asked Lorcan, “Do you—do you feel any different?” The lack of the gods who’d watched over them. Lorcan peered up at the trees overhead, as if reading the answer in their entangled branches. As if searching for Hellas there. “No,” he admitted. “What does it mean,” Gavriel mused, the first rays of sun beginning to gild his golden hair, “for them to be gone? Is there a hell-realm whose throne now sits vacant?” “It’s too early for that sort of philosophical bullshit,” Fenrys said... - KOA, chapter 101

Whatever is going on here, please consider me still all aboard the Azriel is related to the Princes of Hel train until told otherwise by SJM. Choo Choo!

The Valg

Moving on from the princes of Hel, many of the fandom - myself included - are desperate to know exactly how Aidas and his brothers may be related to the Valg, a race of demons we met in SJM's 'Throne of Glass' series. Are they the same as, or simply related to each other? Did Hel's princes - or possibly Void and Chaos - create the Valg as well, or did the Valg just evolve naturally on the planet that is Hel, eventually turning it cold and barren? I know some in the fandom have drawn parallels between Rhys and Maeve, and theorised that he may be partly Valg, which would be such a twist if true! I'd love it.

But more than all of that, I want to know what Azriel may have to do with the Valg. Because in addition to my suspicions that the King of Hybern may have been infected by a Valg/Valg-type being (and that Elain assassinating him with a sunlight charged Truth-Teller was akin to Yrene healing Erawan out of existence), I have been wondering about Azriel and his shadows for years. I know I've suggested that Koschei could be a prince of Hel, but I also think there's a chance he could be Valg. I outlined in this post, where I wondered if Koschei was once known as Fionn - yes, I can see there's a pattern forming here, thanks 😂 - if he had once loaned magic to the King of Hybern, who had "hateful black eyes" and a "galaxy" in his palm, in order for Hybern to be powerful enough to orchestrate a scenario that Koschei was unable to himself, given he's trapped at his lake; considering this possibility in the context of the Valg existing in Prythian, and that Koschei may be one of them, it could mean that Koschei himself, or a loyal Valg prince, was possessing Hybern's king; a pawn until he was no longer required.

As I mentioned earlier, there are significant parallels between Azriel and Koschei that should not be ignored, especially if Koschei ends up being his magical ancestor in some way. In addition to this, Azriel's history and habits are intriguing when laid out next to what we know of the Valg as a species. Although, given the similarities between the Princes of Hel and the Valg, much of the following could indicate some sort of link to either species (that's assuming they're actually different, of course).

The Valg's true form involves a smokey, shadowy aura, while Azriel is a shadowsinger, described as a "dark hive" from where his shadows originated.

Cassian tipped back his head and laughed, a full, rich sound that bounced off the ruddy stones of the House. Azriel’s brows flicked up with approval as the shadows seemed to wrap tighter around him. As if he were the dark hive from which they flew and returned. I tried not to shudder and faced Rhys, hoping for an explanation about his spymaster’s dark gifts. Rhys’s face was blank, but his eyes were wary. Assessing. I almost demanded what the hell he was looking at, until Mor breezed onto the balcony with, “If Cassian’s howling, I hope it means Feyre told him to shut his fat mouth.” - ACOMAF, chapter 16

While a Valg's possession of someone's body is often confirmed through their unnaturally black eyes, it's interesting that Erilea's witches - who are half Valg and half fae - are increasingly prized the more golden their eyes are. Though Azriel's eyes are naturally hazel, a colour which often contains flecks of gold, they have notably glowed golden before. @psychologynerd and I have both discussed the possibility that Azriel could be a witch; this could be another indication of his hypothetical Valg ancestry. Edit: I just found this brilliant post, by @sak2605 which included a passage where Valg described Manon's gold eyes as the eyes of their masters!

The Valg fear fire so much they attempted to wipe out Aelin's entire flame-wielding family.

“Hello, princeling,” she said, her voice bedroom-soft and full of glorious death. “Hello, witchling,” he said. And the words were his own. For a moment he was so stunned that he blinked. He blinked. The demon inside of him recoiled, clawing at the walls of his mind. Eyes of the Valg kings, eyes of our masters, it shrieked. Do not touch that one! - QOS, chapter 58

Credit for the observation goes to @ladynightcourt3 but Azriel's brothers burnt his hands. Furthering the possibility we have discussed before, that his horrible half brothers were pouring oil onto some sort of Starborn flame that he may have unwittingly exhibited, could said Starborn magic have sparked in the first place because it was trying to purify itself from a dark, shadowy infestation taking root in the lightless dungeon? Imagine if the pain of the burns only fuelled the Valg attempting to hijack young Az! And, while Nesta thought Azriel was lying when he said his shadows don't like the flames so much because he's sat in front of the fireplace "plenty," we do know they tend to avoid the light of a different sort of flame: the sun.

I didn’t doubt his claim. And the other Illyrian … “Azriel—his hands. The scars, I mean,” I said. “Where did they come from?” Rhys was quiet a moment. Then he said too softly, “His father had two legitimate sons, both older than Azriel. Both cruel and spoiled. They learned it from their mother, the lord’s wife. For the eleven years that Azriel lived in his father’s keep, she saw to it he was kept in a cell with no window, no light. They let him out for an hour every day—let him see his mother for an hour once a week. He wasn’t permitted to train, or fly, or any of the things his Illyrian instincts roared at him to do. When he was eight, his brothers decided it’d be fun to see what happened when you mixed an Illyrian’s quick healing gifts with oil—and fire. The warriors heard Azriel’s screaming. But not quick enough to save his hands.” - ACOMAF, chapter 18

Azriel lingered near the door, quiet enough that when Feyre and Mor began talking about some of her paintings, Nesta went over to him. “Why don’t you sit?” She leaned against the doorway beside the shadowsinger. “My shadows don’t like the flames so much.” A pretty lie. She’d seen Azriel before the fire plenty. But she looked at who sat close to it and knew the answer. - ACOSF, chapter 58

The Valg use rings and necklaces of wyrdstone, an obsidian material, to infect a host, and in addition to Truth-Teller's hilt being made from obsidian - I've wondered before whether it could be a wyrdkey, or even possessed - Azriel was once described as not having shadows at his ear, or darkness ringing his fingers when around Elain. Does this mean that his shadows - which we now know are concentrated magic - could be infected by a Valg-type being such that they can influence his mind, and maybe even control his body? Could he become a "mindless" soldier grunt?

Cassian’s dark brows narrowed. I dragged a hand over my face before going to Elain and touching her too-bony shoulder. “Can I set you up in the garden? The herbs you planted are coming in nicely.” “I can help her,” said Azriel, stepping to the table as Elain silently rose. No shadows at his ear, no darkness ringing his fingers as he extended a hand. Nesta monitored him like a hawk, but kept silent as Elain took his hand, and out they went. - ACOWAR, chapter 30

The Valg princes can feed on pain and nightmares; in the ACOTAR, shadows are frequently associated with - and can even darken with - pain. Azriel was once described as having shadows and terrors over his shoulder, and there are many examples of his shadows gaining strength when he is uncomfortable or hurting, and lightening when he is happy or content. Is this because his nightmares/negative emotions are less potent and so stop fuelling the Valg he is - hypothetically - carrying around?

I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two. The only bridge of connection … that knife. - ACOWAR, chapter 69

“Can’t sleep?” Cassian took up a fighting stance. A shadow curled around Azriel’s neck, the only one brave enough to face the sunlight. “Something like that,” he said, and settled into his own stance across from Cassian. Cassian let it drop, knowing Az would have told him already if he’d wanted to share what had been hounding him enough to exercise at night, rather than in the morning with them. - ACOSF, chapter 23

Speaking of, what is going on with this newly brave shadow? If Azriel or his shadows are hosts in some way for Valg-type being/s, is something causing them to gain on him? Is it his notably intensified depression from ACOSF, or the fact that he was standing above the House of Wind, the heart of which might be connected in some way to Hel? Alternatively, is it a positively denoted response to his new proximity to the Archeron sisters and their (hypothetical) different forms of Starborn light?

Could Azriel's shadows/magic simply be possessed, or are they actually a swarm of Valg in their own right, either wholly or in part, and attempting to use Azriel and Truth-Teller as a thin place to cross into Prythian? This behaviour fits with what we know of them as a species, though of course we don't know if they have the ability to do this specifically. But if Azriel does harbour some sort of Valg infestation, it becomes very interesting that his shadows respond by brightening around Feyre, who is a powerful healer, Mor - whose power is Truth (Damaris, the sword of Truth, was used in Erawan's death), and Elain⁵ (of whom many have wondered if she contains pure life or rebirth from the Cauldron, which could potentially allow her to heal - especially given the frequent use of "dawn" to describe her, another parallel with Yrene, the Torre Cesme, and even the Dawn Court in Prythian).

⁵ I'm including this information in the discussion not because of any shipping preference, but due to its relevance if Azriel really is infected by a Valg-type being.

Could this phenomenon extend beyond the fact that they, like the rest of his found family, all make Azriel feel comfortable within himself, and mirror what we learnt about Yrene⁶ and her powers? Otherwise, it would be incredibly coincidental that Elain is the sister who loves to nurture the cycle of life by gardening, who is so often described with imagery pertaining to warmth and the sun (especially at dawn), who has wielded Truth-Teller in such a way that may indicate she activated its powers and weakened a possible Valg prince, who has been strongly linked to hope, who has a different sort of strength, who has even brought a king to his knees...

⁶ @wingedblooms has previously discussed Elain's parallels with Yrene here and here; as always I suggest reading her brilliant posts!

Erawan panted as he approached. “Healer,” he breathed, his unholy power emanating from him like a black aura. She backed away a step, closer to the balcony rail. The dark king followed her, a predator closing in on long-awaited prey. “Do you know how long I have looked for you?” The wind tossed his golden hair. “Do you even know what you can do?” She hesitated, slamming into the balcony rail behind her, the drop so hideously endless. “How do you think we took the keys in the first place?” A hateful, horrible smile. “In my world, your kind exists, too. Not healers to us, but executioners. Death-maidens. Capable of healing—but also unhealing. Unbinding the very fabric of life. Of worlds.” Erawan smirked. “So we took your kind. Used them to unbind the Wyrdgate. To rip the three pieces of it from its very essence. Maeve never learned it—and never shall.” His jagged breathing deepened as he savored each word, each step closer. “It took all of them to hew the keys from the gate—every one of the healers amongst my kind. But you, with your gifts—it would only take you to do it again. And with the keys now returned to the gate …” Another smile. “Maeve thinks I left to kill you, destroy you. Your little fire-queen thought so, too. She could not conceive that I wanted to find you. Before Maeve. Before any harm could come to you. And now that I have … What fun you and I shall have, Yrene Towers.” - KOA, chapter 113

Erawan’s power swelled, but Yrene was already glowing, bright as the far-off dawn. - KOA, chapter 113

Erawan didn’t seem to know where to look. Not as Dorian sent out a punch of his healing light that knocked him off balance. Not as Lysandra leaped upon the dark king, pinning him to the stones. Not as Elide, Damaris in her hands, plunged the blade deep through Erawan’s gut, and between the stones below. Erawan screamed. But the sound was nothing compared to what came out of him as Yrene reached him, hands like burning stars, and slammed them upon his chest. The world slowed and warped. Yet Yrene was not afraid. - KOA, chapter 113

He arched, shrieking, but Damaris held him down, that ancient blade unwavering. His dark power rose, a wave to devour the world. Yrene did not let it touch her. Touch any of them. Hope. It was hope that Chaol had said she carried with her. Hope that now grew in her womb. For a better future. For a free world. - KOA, chapter 113

The gods might have been gone, Silba with them, but Yrene could have sworn she felt those warm, gentle hands guiding her. Pushing upon Erawan’s chest as he thrashed, the force of a thousand dark suns trying to rip her apart. Her power tore through them all. Tore and shredded and ripped into him, into the writhing worm that lay inside. The parasite. The infection that fed on life, on strength, on joy. Distantly, far away, Yrene knew she was incandescent with light, brighter than a noontime sun. Knew that the dark king beneath her was nothing more than a writhing pit of snakes, biting at her, trying to poison her light. - KOA, chapter 113

A thought and Yrene’s power flared brighter. Erawan screamed. The power of creation and destruction. That’s what lay within her. Life-Giver. World-Maker. Bit by bit, she burned him up. Starting at his limbs, working inward. And when her magic began to slow, Yrene held out a hand. She didn’t feel the sting of her palm cutting open. Barely felt the pressure of the callused hand that linked with hers. But when Dorian Havilliard’s raw magic barreled into her, Yrene gasped. Gasped and turned into starlight, into warmth and strength and joy. - KOA, chapter 113

Yrene’s power was life itself. Pure, undiluted life. It nearly brought Dorian to his knees as it met with his own. As he handed over his power to her, willingly and gladly, Erawan prostrate before them. Impaled. The demon king screamed. - KOA, chapter 113

I could be wrong of course! But it just seems too coincidental to me that we have all of these parallels between one of the Archeron sisters⁷ and the unassuming healer who - together with her friends - executed a Valg king in Erilea when I have suspected for a while that Azriel's shadows had been hijacked or corrupted in some manner.

⁷ I once posted, ages ago, that Azriel's shadows do not recoil from Elain Archeron, and even though I just outlined why I think she might be able to heal/purify them (assuming they're corrupted, of course), I stand by the theory. It is the corruption that would be vanishing/weakening around her and not the concentrated magic itself. And it would be an interesting tie in to the "purity language" (not my term) that SJM has used between them. That's the only shippy note I'll make here, and only because it would otherwise appear like I was contradicting my earlier self.

Anyway! If you've read this far then well done you, I'm sorry I didn't break this up into more manageable sized posts. I hope it all made sense, I did leave a bit out to try to salvage some of its atrocious length, so if I realise I forgot to tie something back around I may come back and fix it. But to sum up once more, I do think - and others have also noted - that there are many parallels between Azriel and the Starborn/Dusk Court Fae, the princes of Hel and the Valg, though one could argue that the latter two parallels extend to any void-based or demonic beings in general (which tracks if I'm correct that Illyrians can trace at least some of their origins to Hel).

Thank you for reading! 💜

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peculiaritty · 6 months ago

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Sunday character study/trauma study

Again! before i start this ramble there is tw for religious themes, abuse, mental illnesses (ocd especially) and grooming so please if you have any triggers regarding those please don't read ^^ 2.2 Penacony spoilers so please be warned and future leaks and/or theorys may be involved. NO future storyline leaks though. This might be split into parts- not sure! Things might be hyperlinked and these will count as my reference/evidence, theres no need to read them unless you're curious!! There might be a part two on this when Sunday does come out ! Edited 18/05 to correct mistakes/add things i forgot about it OK. Lets begin: GOD. Poor Sunday, i think a lot of people has seen Sunday's abuse unnoticed, and i honestly can't blame some people because sometimes we don't automatically pick up everything unless we are actively looking for something. Sunday is a very interesting character, and i don't necessarily think he is 'evil-evil' per say, he is more of a morally grey character rather than being right up evil. Some major pointers i want to bring up and will be discussed: -> neglect, emotional abuse and the grooming of Sunday by Gopher Wood AKA dreammaster. -> The 'family' dynamics and attitudes -> Sunday/robins ideologies -> headcanons, character design choices and religious imagery (Not a deepdive into the imagery!)

-> neglect, emotional abuse and the grooming of Sunday by Gopher Wood AKA Dreammaster.

The most clear thing we can see as of right now without any reading between lines- Robin and Sundays bond. They care for eachother very much, we know that Sunday is the eldest brother, we already know that from right off the bat, that he is indeed the protector of Robin. Such as any older sibling usually feels towards those born after them. Sunday in no doubt in my mind has firstborn syndrome, basically the main 'burden-holder' between the two. This is the first fact we need to understand before we delve in. Due to Sundays natural-protectiveness of his sister that leaves Sunday at the face/brunt of Gophers ideals, which means sacrificing himself at any cost. Which may be why Robin remains currently unaffected or/not as self-destructive as Sunday. One thing that is easily skipped over and not noticed, Gopher and Sunday share a completely transactional-non-familial bond as they seem to not have the common father-son bond what so ever, Sunday only refers to Gopher as master which hints at the wedge between them. Gopher has ever only inspired and encouraged Sundays pessimistic behavior, such as when the Charmony Dove fell, we can assume that both Sunday and robin are extremely young at the time, i position them to be around 6-8, while at this age children do start to grasp that death in permanent, in no way should a child i quote be saying anything along the lines of "i think people believe birds are meant to fly...because they've never seen those birds crashing to their death." while this 'kind voice' (Gopher) does seem unbiased and passive, there is no reason unless you have actively convinced and taught a child to think that way. While children do come to gain their own beliefs, and ideals, siblings usually remain with the same ideas and beliefs until they reach around 10-12 where puberty starts. The belief gap at such a young age between Robin and Sunday is too big for it to be just "growing up" most if not all children take joy in being naïve- and cheerful. it is only when we come to abused, groomed, depressed and neglected children we start to see such pessimistic behavior. Sunday does have first-born child syndrome, it is also a bit of a worry of how stoic and 'unfeeling' he is. He doesn't confine in anyone, and while yes, we could say this is normal- but in normal, healthy environments people always have someone to confine in. Sunday doesn't have that. This could purely be just his personality- as some people are simply coded that way. It just strikes differently when we compare Child Sunday unto his adult self, as seen in Robins trailer BOTH of them had artistic aspirations, and even though there is no 'heavy' implication, that one tear indicates to me that Sunday was indeed the more emotional one. Growing out of hobbies is normal, but Sunday is lacking of life, he generally looks lifeless. He could've grown out of them, but what I read between the lines is extreme shaming and guilt. The need to be 'perfect'. Just so he could be the 'sun' in the sky and maybe even please Gopher.

Another thing to point out- his OCD yes. This is another thing that is hidden but only few people have found. In this scenario i am not fond of actually just saying its because of his connection to Ena. i am more fond- and find it much more reasonable that it has impacted and grown from his trauma. While i will not clarify which i believe he has since thats leaning more into headcanon territory. Unhealthy childhood environments and events predispose and increase the risk of various psychiatric disorders and OCD is one of them. It is clear that Sunday has been indoctrinated and been taught to think the way he does now. The family is cultish and it doesn't seem to act as one, everyone has their own ideals- and motives, including Gopher. Grooming does not have to be sexual in order for it to be considered grooming, grooming is defined as when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them. In this scenario, Gopher has essentially groomed Sunday to exploit him and use him as a sacrifice. Groomed and abused, religious abuse seems to be a big one in this especially considering the huge religious imagery in Penacony, but it is important to point out some common symptoms of religious abuse is doubtful faith and compulsive perfectionism which resemble in Sunday. Most times, religious abuse is often paired with other forms of abuse, most commonly being sexual grooming and emotional abuse. This does not leave other forms of abuse out such as physical however. Gopher has 'trained' Sunday to think this way (Sundays ideaology), and indoctrinated him for his own use, and you can see it in Sundays extreme ways of dealing with his belief. there is clear there's an external force in his thinking- Gopher.

-> The 'family' dynamics and attitudes To continue, the family- as again, all have very different ideals, and motivations in Penacony. They act as completely separate entities yet still collaborate with each other. One thing remains crystal clear to me, that this family- follows a royal family sort of dynamic, where everything is hushed, you mustn't be too emotional, or too illogical. Basically coming to the point where Sunday has directly been told to not worry about Robin. He was never allowed to grieve. He is not allowed to grieve which is a horrid thing to be put through. Even when Gopher does deliver the news of Robin being shot there is a lack of care, and concern, he sounds non-chalant, going on to mention, "once you've attended to your outstanding tasks…" In any family emergency of sorts, that's the last thing you want to be told, you want to be there as soon as possible. Gopher wood simply does not have enough care, or concern for both of his 'children.' While this is my pure assumption, i do have reason to believe that the Family does share a rather cold dynamic, such as any other usual dynamic that is seen in stories where there is a political, rich, or royal family.

lack of care towards children, and moreso encouraging less 'child-like' traits

Parental figures primarily not being involved in the childs care, it is most likely that both Robin and Sunday were raised by the servants of the house, while Gopher remained some sort of mentor towards the both of them.

Isolation from other children in different life scenarios/circumstances

- Most often, children in these scenarios get put into a protective bubble, unaware of the outside. henceforth, another reasoning why Sunday might be so scared of the outside world. -> Sunday/Robins ideologies Both of them are entirely separate eachother belief wise, but they have one goal in mind. Helping people. I would describe Robins ideals as being quite idealistic and soft, that has come to her naturally, and its quite sweet. she wants world where people can live how they want. Even if its a bad one. Sunday on the otherhand quite thinks the opposite, i would describe his as: 'To protect everyone, keep them safe from pain, and suffering, their freedom of choice must be taken so they will suffer no longer, even if that means sacrificing all that i have.' This comes on very intense, as he does you know. send an entire star system to sleep!! But, His idea isn't exactly wrong. As in those questions he posed to us- we would've done the same if we were in the same scenario. Of course- if one of our siblings we knew were going to get shot in the future because of the path they chose- we would do our best to do that. It makes sense. But logically, and emotionally speaking, it is not in our best interest to control other lives and what they wish for, and what they dream for. What does Sunday want? Nothing. he is entirely swallowed with trying to help other people. He has no dream for himself. His dream- is others peoples dreams. What Sunday wanted, out of the goodness of his own heart, and the unfortunate abuse he has been put through, essentially what we call a utopia/dystopia. IT IS utopian to think of a world without pain, with harmony, where everyone is happy. But because of our nature as people, we want choice. so to us IT IS dystopian to think of a world were we have no choice, were we live on autopilot always content. He seeks escape, and he's not ashamed of it. The most common reason people seek escape, is because they're scared. They are scared of facing what they need to face. He is scared, he does not wish to see pain and suffering, he knows and purely thinks things are doomed from the start. Its almost nihilistic. And i understand it. paired with his childhood, Gopher and how he gets stuck in the confessional box hearing the most horrendous things, i would be like him too. "is this apart of your plan?" It is Gopher who brought the order to Penacony. That line above, implies that this wasn't Sunday's plan at all. Gopher was going to use Robin in the first place, but Sunday, again, being the oldest took the forefront of the indoctrination and abuse- thats how he now blindly believes in it. Gophers plans and his reason why hasn't been revealed. but i doubt it was because he genuinely cared for his people. It is depressing to see who Sunday is as a person, purely pessimistic, and so lost but obsessed with his belief, but to me and other people he is relatable; to him, things don't get better. he wants to stay in the moment. Suspended in a dream that is too perfect to be true. He seeks escape, escape for everyone. Things do get better, whether that is now, or later. We just need to keep trying and continuing on, no matter how tiring it is. -> headcanons, character design choices and religious imagery (Not a deepdive into the imagery!) UP TO MY FAVOURITE BIT!! ok, heres something that genuinely makes me want to explode, because if this is on purpose it is brilliant. Pointed out by Matchua and i actually think the first to notice it. his wings look clipped.

They don't seem very oval and/or similar to how normal bird wings would look. This can also be seen in Harmony MC's splash art too, the Raven being Sunday, and of course, the Charmony dove, Robin.

While the birdcage imagery is used on Robin, i think it is so damn powerful that if this is a deliberate design choice, that Sunday has been clipped. Depending on the clipping, it renders birds unable to fly until they grow back, and even then there is horrendous people out there who permanently injure the bird by clipping it wrong so its never able to fly again. A birdcage has a key. But once you take away a birds wings like that, it cant fly. It represents how Sunday can never seemingly become his normal self again, he will always be consumed by his pessimism and fear for the world around him. how there is seemingly 'no hope' We know that Robin is not clipped because in her skill her full wings pop out (even if this is just an effect...still) It also represents how damaging abuse is, how it takes away someones dignity and freedom. Religious imagery!! i'm sure you can find some super deep dives into it but i think one of the main things is how Sunday represents Jesus from the Christian bible. The thorns across his coat tie in deeply with the fact that on the crucifix, Jesus was given a thorn crown which was used to belittle and mock him. Sunday falls back in the crucifix pose. He is the sacrifice. Not exactly to purge them of sin, but to give them an Eternal paradise. (which in Christianity, is what the purging of sin does, it gives us an eternal paradise next to God.) Headcanons: -> i believe Sundays OCD to either be of the Religious, Harm or Order OCD. i see all three occurring, but rather more on the Order/Religious side. -> Sunday is a people pleaser, no buts!! -> He has alot of shame and self hatred towards himself for wanting things, as he believes it doesn't make him 'perfect' -> He strikes me to have some form of anxiety, again this can tie in with the OCD -> His small/awkward chuckles are just him trying to cope, i feel like he does it alot more when he is anxious though, towards the end of the quest he doesn't chuckle, which officially means hes lost it (lmao poor guy) -> Very scared of making mistakes. Really small ones too. (as you find in some abuse victims.) -> jealous of his sister but he could never come to hate her, he just wishes he was able to participate in being creative too but i do think he was shamed for that, for being 'childish'. Robin was the 'jewel' of the family. Sunday never was. -> as some abuse victims do, he probably never understood or came to understand that Gopher was abusive to him, maybe after 2.2 possibly. And when he does come to understand God. He's got a lot of healing to do in himself. A lot of anger, grief, sadness- tons of processing. -> He doesn't like hugs at first because he was really not hugged as a child, but when he does get hugged it absolutely destroys him because he really really loves being validated and being held. Something that he lacked so much as a child. -> As birds do when their stressed, Sunday plucks the feathers out of his wings, which leads to him being insecure about them so he never really shows them, which is why he keeps them neatly folded Infront of his waist and hides the back part of his wings with his coat. -> Forgets to eat, drink and bathe due to working so much. He gets so lost in his work he's probably stayed up for more than 48 hours. (ok like i know its the dreamscape but listen.) -> I didn't add this into the first part, but including all of the other things i mentioned, Sunday was alot more quiet/introverted as a child as i interpret him to be, while Robin was more of a blabbermouth. So thats why Gopher decided on Sunday instead, lesser chance of anyone finding out about what he was teaching. -> Never had a day of rest in his life. He needs a break. That's pretty much all i've got to say though (i'm going to spare you from my headcanons i have on his behaviors. that list is LONG.), i just think Sunday is a really interesting yet heartbreaking character at the same time. Very relatable to alot of people. He's not genuinely evil. Just severely misguided and hurt. Thx for reading <3

#sunday #sunday hsr #honkai star rail sunday #honkai star rail #penacony #robin #hsr robin #robin hsr #childhood trauma #religious imagery #tw religious themes #tw child abuse #tw child neglect #character study #character analysis #2.2 spoilers

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antimisinfo · 6 months ago

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as someone who has maladaptive daydreaming disorder this pisses me off so FUCKING BAD. im too shakey to type much less read this fully but oh my fucking god. oh my god. what the FUCK. how fucking DARE this person take MY DISORDER and twist it to conform to their DISGUSTING ABLEIST BELIEFS?? im reFUCKINGvolted

https://www.tumblr.com/alyssasmaddworld/741046067507904512/theres-this-level-of-dissociation-that-goes-hand?source=share

i- this post is a lot, but i'll try deconstruct each point here.. i'll be focusing on points that i can debate here / can disprove or try to disprove here because otherwise this will be a really long post,, longer than it already is. also i'll be referring to maladaptive daydreaming as MD for simplicity's sake. if i get any information on MD wrong please let me know as i do not have this disorder(?) nor do i know much about it outside of the research done for this post.

the source linked here does say that it is a dissociative disorder and it does say that it might not be caused purely by trauma " Although trauma may be one causal factor, we indicate several other etiological pathways to the development of MD. We discuss associations with related concepts and suggest directions for future research " so there isn't much for me to say here other than the part about plurality, but we'll go more into depth on that below.

this.. the source they used is pluralpedia.. which used the source of a tumblr blog.. so lets get into this. the first source also mentions maladaptive characters / MD characters but it also says that it is not like DID " We discuss and exemplify with clinical vignettes the shared phenomenological characteristics between MD and dissociative phenomena, such as double consciousness, vivid visual imagery, and the creation of internally narrated characters. MD characters can be experienced as somewhat independently-agentic, although unlike dissociative identity disorder (DID), they typically do not take control over the daydreamer’s behavior "

so lets look into MD characters, shall we? the only source i can find on MD characters ((other than the one they linked / tumblr posts)) consider them more of a form/type of daydreaming (experiencing the daydream as yourself or as a character, daydreaming about a character, ect). these characters are not at all similar to alters and the "closest" i found was the foreign character

" For those who heavily engage in maladaptive daydreaming, they often will begin to develop "The Foreign Character" type of maladaptive daydreaming. In this type, you daydream about a central character who you believe is yourself, but who is fundamentally different in almost all respects. " — maladaptivedaydreaming.org

however these are not at all similar to alters which are

" two or more separate identities called “alters.” They control your behavior at various times. Each alter has its own personal history, traits, likes, and dislikes " — WebMD

the same source on foreign characters also states that " The reality is that for most people, they engage in these kinds of daydreams because they want to daydream about things entirely devoid from themselves and their real world experience. They don't want to daydream about themselves being a doctor or being better looking (to use the prior examples I used), but instead they want to dream about themselves being entirely different people so they can escape from who they really are. ". other than that source there is very little evidence on these characters being separate identities, even then it's important to keep in mind that it is not the same as having a split identity as it only appears during daydreams i would assume and would not be able to control you, how you think, how you behave, ect. ((which the first source literally said,, do endos even read their sources??)) i would also like to add that if these characters feel real and you believe all your daydreams to be real then it might actually be a delusion. there's nothing wrong with having delusions but it is also important to recognise that it's not real and that it does not at all compare to being a system.

the first source they used to claim that having MD is the same as being plural is a pro endo source, it defines being plural as " The most simplified definition of the term plural that includes all people who take the label is “someone who shares the same physical body with other individuals.” Such a group is sometimes referred to as a system, though many plural groups use different terminology. " which,, again having daydreams are is not the same as having separate identities, so really this source means nothing.. and the second source is.. just insane really. its a study done on the experiences of those with multiple identities. they did two things, one was an online survey that had 200-300 results and then 6 interviews.. which is definitely not enough evidence, since they cannot know if people are lying on those online surveys and 6 people are not enough to make it a reliable source. but lets focus on the part they pointed out, which was:

" Empirical measurement of multiplicity is sparse. The first inventory published in the field was the Plural Self Scale (Altrocchi, 1999), which assesses the structure of the personality. High scores indicate that thoughts and feelings are different through time and situations. The other inventory to assess multiplicity was developed by Carter (2008) and consists of 20 items, such as “Does your handwriting change noticeably at different times?” or “Do you swing suddenly from one mood to another for no apparent reason?.” However, these scales measure the integrity of the self and rely on the assumption that there is a “you” or “I” who is able to self-reflect. Individuals who consider themselves multiple refer to themselves as a group of selves (“we”). Thus, questionnaires that assess the extent of self-integration fail to assess the experience of individuals who claim to have multiple selves who all have different thoughts, feelings, motivations, and levels of complexity. " which-- just isn't much of a criteria other than the questions, of which are "does your handwriting change at different times" and " do you swing from one mood to another with no apparent reason", but it literally says this fails to asses those who claim to be plural-- so i don't see what their point was here really. it just seems like they're saying words for the sake of saying words.

i don't think this person realises what closed culture is.. tulpulmacy is not a form of being plural nor should it be considered that, thoughtforms are usually used purely for meditation or for your spiritual journey, not for fun,, unlike "tupla systems" which are often not even Buddhists, which is the main issue. a closed practise, which is what tulpulmacy is, is a "practice in which you can only take part in their craft if you were specifically born into the practice, or went through an initiation process.". while i'm not 100% sure what exactly they mean with the last part there isn't much for me to say here other than the fact that tulpulmacy is not the same as being plural and we did have a former Buddhist actually talk to us about this here! and while it isn't exactly sourced i feel its still an important read.

i believe they're speaking about the word plural here,, which wasn't made by endos?? the word plural just refers to more then one. unless they mean traumagenic?? which then confuses me because their source doesn't really mention it--

culture is dynamic yes, but some cultures are closed and it's important to understand that-- just because the culture is shifting doesn't mean you can steal closed practises.

"endogenic sphere" makes me shiver but okay, lets talk about this too. there isn't a lot of research on MD, so i cannot say what the direct cause is. "Experts don’t know exactly why maladaptive daydreaming happens. However, they suspect it happens because maladaptive daydreaming can be a coping mechanism for problems like anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions."

no?? what?? as i said above, many times, having MD is not the same as having DID / being a system and also the image only refers to feeling disconnected from the body and sense of identity which is pretty common with dissociation and doesn't exactly prove anything related to endogenic systems..

i- ?? i mean as i said before we don't know what exactly causes MD but i don't believe people chose to do this?? not really??

" maladaptive daydreaming is often compulsive, which means a person feels like they need to do it. Because the need to daydream is similar to an addiction, daydreaming more often can make it a strong habit, so it’s very hard to stop doing it. That’s why seeking mental healthcare for it sooner rather than later is important. "

but all being said, its not a vaild form of plurality because its nothing like having separate identities?? sure when daydreaming you might identify as a different person but you're still you. your overall identity is intact and i'm pretty sure most people with MD do not think their daydreams are real, i believe that would be a delusion instead of a daydream-- and an important separation is these characters would only show up in daydreams i assume, while alters are always there, infact in DID you yourself is an alter but in MD one of you is a person and the other is a character created through daydreams,, which is not comparable to genuine parts / alters. ((also please do not harass the person who made the original post, our post / response is purely meant to educate and correct misinformation and we do not intend for people to go to the op's blog and send them things))

#sourced #kind of sourced #requested info #answered asks #anti endo #endos dni #system #did osdd #osddid #plural #system stuff #did #traumagenic system

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youvebeenlivingfictional · 7 months ago

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May I humbly request “why didn't you kill me when you had the chance?” from the enemies/rivals to lovers prompts with Christopher Pike please? 💕

Send me a rivals (to lovers?) sentence starter!

Of course my dear! I hope you're having a lovely day!

You have your orders, and are told within earshot of their cell: if the prisoners try to escape again, shoot them on sight.

You don't now if it's pure luck or a coincidence that you're on patrol that night, or that you round the corner just in time to see their leader five steps out of the cell that they're being kept in.

"Get back!" You hiss, raising your phaser and advancing toward him swiftly, "Go!"

The man backs up, hands raised in a show of surrender. You grasp the gate that they've managed to open, closing it hurriedly and covering the code on the pad as you relock it. You shoot a murderous gaze at the five inside, jaw tight. Your heart leaps into your throat as you hear your commander call your name, and you turn around just as they approach you. Your back goes ram-rod straight, chin up as he comes closer.

"Lieutenant! What's going on here?"

"Nothing, sir," You insist. "Just checking that everything is secure."

"Is it?"

"Yes, sir."

He casts a gaze over your shoulder, brows drawing down as he looks them over. You fight to keep from fidgeting, your stomach churning with nerves. Does he know that you're lying? Were they seen on the security feeds?

But he finally nods slowly, drawing away with a murmur to keep up the good work. You nod, mumble, "Sir," And hold your position until he's out of sight. You let your breath drain from you slowly, your body releasing just a little bit of the tension before you look over your shoulder, locking eyes with the man that had been trying to escape.

"Do not do that again. It won't always be me coming around that corner," It feels like a stupid thing to say even as you say it, but the man gives a small nod, and goes so far as to take another step back from the door. You glance around to the others, finding them watching you warily. You just give a small shake of your head before you leave, lingering around the corner and listening for any click of a lock for the rest of your shift.

They're not like the other off-worlders. From what you can tell, they didn't sneak onto the facility to try and steal your tech—but you still don't know how they got past the planetary defense systems in the first place, or why. They fought well, but they'd been no match for your squadron once you'd been deployed to their location.

The five of them—two women, two men, and one Vulcan—can't be kept together. It's your commander's decision to split them up. You're not sure how effective it'll be, though you suppose its worth a chance until you can get answers out of them. You think that you may escape any more association with the situation, but your commander insists that you move their leader to his new high-security cell—and puts you in charge of his watch.

You grit your teeth and agree, certain that you have no choice but to obey. Your commander is not a kind man; he rewards loyalty with punishing work, and insubordination with death.

You force your expression to passive indifference as you approach their cell, fingers twitching over the handcuffs strapped to your belt.

"You," You nod to him, drawing the attention of all. "Get up."

It takes him a moment, but he rises slowly.

"Come here," You add, punching in the code for the door and listening to the snick as it unlocks.

"What is this?" He asks.

"You're coming with me."

"Where are you taking him?" A woman is up in seconds, just a step behind. You still your hand on the door, letting your gaze flit to her.

"Another cell."

"Why?"

"They don't trust you together." You probably shouldn't tell them that, but it's obvious enough.

"Why only take him?" The Vulcan pipes up.

"He's the first. He won't be the last." You look between all of them. "I'm going to open the door. If any of you rush me, I'll have to raise the alarm. If you try to escape, I can't be held responsible for what they do to you. I can promise that whatever they choose will be brutal." You meet the man's eye again. "I'm going to open this. I want you to step out and hold your hands forward."

"...I understand," The man says.

"Chris," The woman warns lowly.

"Captain, I would advise against this," Another woman begins to rise, then freezes when she sees your hand twitch toward your phaser.

"Stand down, La'an. That's an order." His gaze stays steady on yours, hands raising, palms open and fingers spread as you open the door just enough for him to inch out. You shut it quickly, punching the code with one hand and draw your cuffs off of your belt. He holds still, and despite your movements, you feel his eyes steady on your face. You turn to the others, eyes skating across their faces again before you reach up, gently nudging the man's shoulder and guiding him to leave ahead of you. You learned a long time ago not to let a prisoner follow you, or have the opportunity to easily grab your phaser.

He goes, slowing only for a second to shoot a wink at his compatriots over his shoulder—it's a reassurance that isn't meant for you, but makes your chest flutter nonetheless.

"Left here," You order, and he does as you say.

"What's your name?" He asks, and before he can twist all the way to look at you for an answer, you snap, "Face forward."

He does so, keeping an even pace down the corridor.

"I'm Christopher," He adds.

"Congratulations."

"You're not going to tell me your name?"

"You don't need it."

"I might."

"Trust me, you don't. Make a right."

He does. You can see him turning his head a bit this way and that, no doubt trying to memorize markers, security cameras, things that may help him find his way back to that first cell.

"You're a lieutenant?" He asks. You bite the inside of your cheek, fighting back an irritated groan. Is he going to talk the whole time?

"That's what your commander said," He adds. "How long have you been working here?"

You still refuse to respond.

"Must be a while. You seem pretty familiar with the layout."

This man must be plenty comfortable making conversation with himself—

You pull up short as he stops, taking a wary step back as he turns to face you. The two of you stand in testy silence for a few tense moments. You wait for him to spring toward you, past you, away from you. You try to think of every possibility, but he hits you with something that you could never have anticipated:

"I'm not going to hurt you."

Your eyes narrow slightly.

"...Are you going to hurt me?" He adds.

"Please turn back around."

He tips his head to the side a touch, and when he takes a step forward, you take a step back.

"I'm not going to ask you again," You raise your voice a little, trying to instill fear in him, and a sense of authority in yourself. His lips twitch with a small, almost taunting smile as he takes one more step. He freezes, watching your hand raise to rest on your phaser. He nods a little, finally turning to face away from you.

"...Left or right?" He asks. You nearly can't hear it over the roaring of blood in your ears. You actually have to think about it before you say: "Right."

He lets you nudge him into the cell, lock him up, and then steps forward when you open the latch.

"Give me your hands," You wave him closer. "I'll take the cuffs off."

He takes his time coming closer, and you have to fight a shiver off as his blue eyes seem to spear into you.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Do you do anything else?" You grumble, raising your hands to unlock the mechanism. He chuckles softly as the cuffs fall away, and grasps your wrists once the cuffs are off. You suck in gasp in, eyes widening slightly. He isn't pulling or doing anything threatening—just holding.

"...Why didn't you kill me when you had the chance?" He asks.

"What?"

"You had orders to shoot us on sight. You let me live the other day—and you could've killed me in the hall just now."

You shake him off, yanking your hand back. He's still watching you with a warmth that's unfamiliar to you, and disarming.

"Maybe I just want to know how you all snuck onto the planet," You fib. "Can't find that out if you're dead."

He nods a touch, his gentle hum almost condescending. You raise your hand to shove the latch shut, but he catches it with his hand before you can, lowering his voice,

"When we get out of here—and we will get out of here," His lips curl into a mischievous smile, "I'll remember."

"Remember what?"

"Your kindness."

He lets go of the latch, and you slam it shut, locking it hurriedly. Finally out of his sight, you let you sigh out a panicked breath, tugging your armor back from your neck a touch to cool your rapidly heating neck and face.

#Christopher Pike x Reader #Christopher Pike x You #Christopher Pike/Reader #Christopher Pike/You #Christopher Pike fic #Christopher Pike imagine #asks #replies #requests #prompts #elen tag

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the-burd-lord · 8 months ago

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Playing around with Alastor’s design a little bit. He would still wear most of the same outfit he wore back then, don't fix what's not broken, but with an added suit jacket that's a bit too big for him. I need to make a bit of to at some point, but after his break up he draws on a pencil mustache to add on to his emphasis of having a new appearance while still staying in his time.

A post depression mustache if you will.

As for some of his creepy aspects I'm cutting out the voodoo elements of his character, and instead using the uncanny and analog horror elements instead (I am a simple creature).

I need to actually remake the color pallets for him and old Vox, but essentially they both start off as black and white or with grey like colors, and gain new ones after they split up. Vox becomes more saturated and Alastor becomes sepiatone, as while it's more colorful it's still is reminiscent of the past.

Now time for some of the silly rivalry bits:

I’d image they would have casual debates on the radio and tv that would soon devolve into insults and eventually nothing but 30/50s slang and Creole French that would last for hours.

I need to finish writing this bit, but basically Charlie sees it as a good idea to go on Vox’s talk show to promote the hotel and herself. There’s some lil rivalry moments between Vox and Al, but ultimately Vox doesn’t fully let his grudges get in the way of hosting a good show.

Even though they mutually broke up they still each regret ending the relationship, and as such covey their loneliness in their respective mediums. Vox making sad, gay movies and being so worn out after that when he watches them he doesn’t even know what he made.

And Alastor having a late night audio story about a turtle and a hare going on adventures. There are times where he’ll just start describing crushing regret and isolation, and he’ll realize that he may have gone a bit far and try to steer it towards more of a happy ending with Vox listening in on all of it.

Something something relationship meme with a sketch I’ll probably never finish. Also surprising, but also not that surprising, to me that in "Stayed Gone" they didn't go with the obvious joke on what to call his late night talk show.

The grrls r fighting!! But for real this time.

Been playing with the idea of Vox turning into pure energy when he's overly stressed, or just becoming a weird robot creature as form he can take as an overlord. It's probably going to result in a lot of sketches where I 𝘵𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 won't use Videodrome as inspiration (lie).

At some point I need to get a good animation program and just start making a bunch of animatics or animations cause I have so many song inspirations for these two.

Specifically one that I want to make a whole animation for is “(They Long to Be) Close to You.” Basically it’s just going to be them fighting interspersed with moments of them waltzing together. I think you can probably parse out the metaphors and connections I'm going for here.

youtube

Also me and a friend were talking about song inspirations and after I continually listened, watched, and worked (at least for me) on Hadestown we just replaced Hades with Vox in some of the songs.

🚨SPOILERS FOR HADESTOWN🚨

One stanza that I need to make an animatic for is in Chant Reprise, specifically 2:33-3:18 with the “I conduct the electric city” line.

youtube

This is going to become a bit of promotion for the show cause I love it so much. Probably my favorite musical ever! Also highly recommend listening to this version of "Chant," cause there’s a verse for Persephone and Eurydice that provide some cool reflections that reflect the original “Chant” in their verses.

youtube

There’s no direct references to any of the other characters, although you can add your own interpretations.

On that note here’s another song that reflects them. “How Long?” mainly with the “your pity won’t fit in my bed” lines, and when Hades and Persephone are actually singing to each other turning it into being about their relationship instead of the fates of Orpheus and Eurydice.

youtube

And a lil teaser for how they make up:

Will make another post about them. I have so many sketches WWHYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN’T ESCAPE EITHER VERSION!!!!

#vox #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #hazbin rewrite #hazbin redesign #alastor redesign #digital sketch #sketch dump #sketch #Youtube

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darcytaylor · 5 months ago

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I don’t know why but I feel like Luke has lost himself a little in the chaos of being the leading man, and the worldwide tour. I can only speak for myself but I have ADHD like me, and a lot of chaos going on around me sends me on a disruptive path.

This is pure speculation as obviously I don’t know, and never will, but it just feels like Colin’s storyline ie, having a glow up, and travelling has also become very like Luke’s. He knew he was going to be the lead, so started making changes - eating better and investing in a stylist. Along the way he splits up with a long time partner, and I can only speak for myself here, but I not too long ago split with my partner of 6 years, and I’ve needed drastic change in my life. Again this echos what’s been happening imo.

I can only compare, but I do remember seeing people going mad for Corey and India during the press run for Queen Charlotte. I do remember the former saying in an interview that he had a girlfriend, perhaps at the end of the run where he could say things? It just seemed then that he was putting firm boundaries and the speculation was becoming too much for him and India, I do remember comments of them looking distant and purposely standing apart, and the hate he received for bringing her along to a Netflix event in Brazil.

Luke and Nicola had six months of this, and no one will ever know what truly went on, but from the outside looking in it seemed that they were really supporting each other and getting on. This is where the speculation reaches fever pitch - they were very touchy feeling with each other, and would often hold hand. Luke sometimes even seeking Nic out and grabbing her hand to calm his nerves (he says he suffers with anxiety) it’s sweet that they can calm each other down. Nicola does seem like the more confident of the two. All this is happening whilst in the background he has a girlfriend, great. I wish them well, but it’s all sneaky. She attends some events low key - the New York premiere. I do wonder if he wants to be open, keep it private or he’s advised to by Netflix. I don’t think the streamer can actually make them keep them quiet? Corey being open about his relationship says not?

Now I don’t agree with the timing of the hard launch, that’s my problem and not his. I do agree with fans saying that the timing is not good, he could have waited and it gone down so much better. I do feel like it’s slightly disrespectful to Nic, who carried that promo tour imo. People vibed more with him than her. I sincerely hope it was his choice to go public, and it was not forced. I know she was in Milan with him, but it does feel strange that her Mum was with them; your daughter hasn’t seen her boyfriend for a while, and you tag along with them? Feels a little strange to me. Maybe that’s just me, and add in the unconfirmed rumours that the Mum liked fatshaming comments about Nic.

I’m certainly not one to hate on another women for simply being in a relationship, and I really don’t like that side of the fandom that has come out. Regardless, I hope that Luke (and Nicola) keep their feet on the ground, and have people around them who keep them on a healthy and productive path in life.

Thank you for your detailed message!

I do think that it would be hard to navigate the onslaught of fame that Luke would be going through, and some people are able to handle it better than others (Nicola being amazing at it). You can tell that Luke struggles with the fame and knowing what to do and what to say.

I do think he made some mistakes in regards to his relationship and how the whole thing transpired (which really kicked off on New Years). But I will give him a bit of grace since he may not have realized the impact his season of Bridgerton was going to have on people.

It is very funny all of the parallels that can be seen in regards to Colin and Luke, I really wonder if he has admitted that to himself or has even realized?

This may be a hot take, and while I enjoyed Queen Charlotte, I didn't love it. I also didn't follow any of the promotion in regards to Corey and India.

I have said it here before, but I never thought that Luke and Nicola were anything other than friends. You can clearly see the bond that they share, and I can understand why people thing they are more. While I thought their handholding was adorable and you can see the comfort that it gives Luke (and even Nicola), it never occurred to me that they were dating because of that.

I have been working for many years, and I have insanely close relationships with coworkers. Coworkers understand a part of you that nobody ever will! And then to top that off with them having to do intimacy scenes, I can understand why they share a bond (that nobody will probably understand).

The paparazzi pictures on the premier night were terribly timed. It wasn't a good look and I can understand some of the outrage. Then adding fuel to the fire with Milan. I guess they thought that since they were spotted once and it was out in the public, lets just lean into it. Definitely the wrong move!

But like I always say, who knows what is actually happening. I don't know any of these people, so anything is possible.

#luke newton #bridgerton

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dream-in-fall · 1 month ago

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Red-blue reflections.

There are a lot of red and blue colors in the film. Often these two colors mark opposites and/or couples in one way or another. Crowley and Aziraphale, Sergeant Shadwell and Madame Tracy, Adam and Pepper, Maggie and Nina's shops, and so on. A cup of coffee and an apple of Eden. My interpretation of these colors. I assume that the color symbolism is taken from the Christian religion of the Renaissance.

In this case, the Red color means everything earthly, sensual, full of life, sexual, chaotic. Sometimes it's something aggressive (Anathema saw the red aura of an angry villager). But aggression can also be righteous bravery like Pepper, who stood up to the War. The color red does not appear symbolically in Hell and does not directly mean evil. The Blue color means everything unearthly, reasonable, calm. This is order, discipline, loyalty and stability. The blue color also does not symbolize Heaven and does not directly mean good.

I would add here the fact about two Christian saints - St. George and St. Andrew. Saint Andrew is the patron saint of the Scottish flag. The flag of Scotland has a white oblique cross on a blue background. And St. George the Victorious (the man who defeated the snake /dragon) patronizes the flag of England (this flag has a red cross on a white background. Saint George and Saint Andrew are also opposites of each other - one is a warrior (red), the other is a martyr (blue), respectively. I think it would be interesting to see these characters in the second coming?

One more color thought. Here is a screenshot. (S1E3 [54:24])

This is an image of a monitor in an office at a nuclear reactor. At the moment, there is no fuel in the nuclear reactor, there is a yellow candy that Adam placed there. The monitor shows that this yellow candy gives energy by splitting into blue and red colors. Yellow (gold) color in Christianity is a Divine color, the color of divine energy and grace. People who see it say "it's impossible". They witnessed a miracle. I associate this episode with another one.

(all subtitles are original) In this scene our angel and demon exchanged bodies and Death itself says that it is "ineffable". Death stated that it was a miracle.

I will also mention White color in my color reflections. He appears in the series four times (something I noticed.) White in this theory means purity, innocence and/or sacrifice.

1.The third baby in the S1E1. He was wrapped in a white blanket. He was a victim of circumstances. I haven't read the book, but fish were mentioned in the movie in the context of the baby. These few little facts lead me to think that this child may appear in the third season. And he will play a direct role in the second coming, as the new incarnate Christ (the fish is a symbol of Christ and also the white color his symbol too.)

2. In the theater with a red interior (1941), Aziraphale takes out a white handkerchief and theatrically waves it. I think it reflects the purity of his intentions to help his demon. And also the fact that he is the only one in this "vicious" place (where illegal alcohol is sold and people stare at half-naked girls) is a pure immaculate soul.

3. Gabriel wears a white fur coat when he goes out to the demons in the second season. He obviously intended to sacrifice himself for the sake of saving people.

4. Muriel - everything is obvious here. She's a blank slate. I really hope she doesn't fall victim to any dramatic circumstances in S3. I love Muriel).

There is also a Violet color. I have already talked about him a lot in my other posts, for example in the post about Gabriel's eyes or about the joint miracle of Azikro. I'll just mention a funny little fact here. When Aziraphale gets inside Madame Tracy, her sleeves turn violet (because she herself is marked in red, and the angel is blue, respectively.)

Violet color appears once more at the end of S2E6. When we see that Shax and Furfur are up to something together, they unite. And we see them disappearing into a violet haze. I think we need to find out exactly what this couple is up to in S3.

I assume that the violet color here means unification, union, expansion, reaching a new level.

#good omens #good omens fandom #good omens theories #good omens meta #good omens analysis #azicrow #good omens colors

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prouvaireafterdark · 4 months ago

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hi! i absolutely LOVE all of your writing- especially how you write smut. it’s filthy nasty but also very tender and loving and true to the characters. as someone who’s getting into fanfic writing, do you have any tips on writing good smut? how do you create that balance? thanks xx

Aww, that's so sweet, thank you! And yeah totally!

My first piece of advice is the advice I gave to myself the first time I ever wrote smut: Go big or go home. That isn't meant to like talk down on people who don't want to write really filthy stuff btw, that's just what helped me get over my anxiety about whether I was writing something "too filthy" for the beautiful degenerates on AO3 bc I'd never written anything like that before and didn't know if I was going "too far." I decided to just throw that line of thinking away and write what I wanted. If people don't want to read explicit fic, they won't. If they click on explicit fic, they probably will enjoy it if it's filthy nasty, so, be free. Write the filth you wanna see in the world.

That brings me to my second tip: Write what you think is hot. There may be moments where you're like "are other people gonna like this?" but I'm telling you, don't worry about what other people will enjoy because everyone enjoys different things and you'll never please everyone, especially if you're writing fetish content. If you enjoy the idea, you'll be motivated to finish it and you'll write a better fic because of it. It might take some workshopping and editing until it's where you want it to be, but if you're reading your work and you like it and think it's hot, other people will too.

Those are my two big tips for getting started. When it comes to creating balance between filth and tenderness, I would say my one big tip I have is to try to focus on what the POV character would be feeling and thinking in the scene. Tab A goes into Slot B is a fine way to begin constructing or plotting out a scene, but it would be a pretty boring thing to read if it just ended there without anything else added in there to give it emotional dimension.

I try to break up mechanical descriptions about positions or movements with descriptions of physical sensations or emotional responses to physical stimuli. I also like to add in a healthy amount of dialogue.

Let's take Armand and Daniel for an example: When Daniel is squirming beneath Armand and begging for a taste of his blood, is he begging with words or with the desperation in his eyes or his hands as they grip at Armand's clothes? How does that make Armand feel? Physically, does the movement of his body against his feel good? Can he feel how hard Daniel is where he's rubbing up against him? Emotionally, does Daniel's submission and begging make him feel powerful? Or is he overcome with devotion, like he'll give Daniel anything he wants just to make him stay?

Taking the time to ask and answer these types of questions can reveal a lot about the characters and also give you a lot of fodder for description in a scene. It can also help you set the tone you're going for. Maybe this fic is just pure smut, PWP, with a bit of a hate sex vibe, so Armand is really getting off on the power play and denial. Or, maybe it's a more angsty smut fic where you want to explore how Armand is dominant, but also deeply insecure and feeds Daniel's blood addiction to keep him coming back. It all really depends on the vibe of the fic and what character traits you want to explore through the smut.

Another good tip is to try to engage all five senses when possible. Ex: What does Daniel feel like beneath him? (ex: warm, soft, hot, hard) What does he smell like? (ex: cigarettes, sweat, the expensive cologne Armand bought him) What does he taste like? (ex: martinis, smoke, blood that's welling up from a split lip from one of Armand's fangs) What does he sound like? (ex: desperate, like a whore, his voice high and thready with need) How does he look, spread out beneath him? (ex: flushed cheeks, messy curls, pink lips open and gasping). You can have a lot of fun with all five senses.

I could go on, but I'll leave you with this last bit of general writing advice: If you get stuck, don't be afraid to write out of order. Who cares if you start at the end? You can always edit it all seamlessly together, and then you haven't wasted hours trying to brute force your way through a scene when you had a different idea for a later part floating around in your head practically begging to be written. You make the rules!

Okay, that's all for now. I hope it helps!

#writing advice #fandom love #down to answer any follow up questions too #this is a fun form of procrastination lol

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robustcornhusk · 4 months ago

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green beans, except not makes two servings Ingredients

Beans * 8 oz dried beans, cooked & liquid reserved, or 2 cans of beans, rinsed; split into 'most of it' and 'about a half cup of beans'

Pita Croutons * 2 pitas * 1 tbsp olive oil * 1 tbsp za'atar * 1/2 tsp salt or so

Herb Puree * reserved beans from above * 1 bunch cilantro, bottoms cut off, about 30g * 1 bunch flat parsley, bottoms cut off, about 30-45g * feel free to add a bit of olive oil

Green(i) Tahini * fuck, i don't know. i made this a few days ago and had leftovers * 60g ish tahini * more cilantro and parsley, around 30 g or so * about a half lemon of juice

Optional - Chili Oil * 1-2 tbsp olive oil * 1-2 tsp chile flakes

Unusual Tools * food processor

Procedure

Oven at 400f, convection on if you have that option.

Beans: Put all the beans, aside from the reserved half cup, into a pot. If you cooked them from dry, include enough of their cooking liquid to cover; if you used canned, add water to cover. Turn on the heat and let it simmer and soften while everything else happens, about 15 minutes. Add salt to taste.

Pita Croutons: Rip the pitas in half, then rip into little croutons. Toss ripped pita in a bowl with olive oil, za'atar, salt, pepper until mostly evenly coated, then spread them out on a baking sheet. Cook for 8-10 minutes with convection, 10-12 without convection.

mine are burnt because i did like 11 minutes with convection. so don't do that.

Herb Puree: Put the reserved half cup of beans, the cilantro, and parsley into food processor. Puree, adding enough water that it loosens up a bit. Add salt to taste, but go light; you could also add some olive oil and it'd be great. Put it aside in a bowl and halfassedly clean the food processor.

Green Tahini: Put tahini, herbs, lemon juice in the food processor. Puree, adding enough water that it loosens up. Add salt & more lemon juice to taste. It's easier to pour it onto the food if you put this one in a bowl, too.

the real pro move would be putting it in a squeeze bottle but we all have lives to live and i hate cleaning them

Chile Oil: In a small pan or pot, heat up the oil for a minute; add in the chile flakes (they should quietly but audibly sizzle), stir, turn off the heat.

Back to the Beans/Plating: The water should be largely cooked off at this point, and the beans soft; some may have exploded. Turn off the heat. Mix in the herb puree, check the flavor -- salt? lemon? some black pepper?

Divide the beans into bowls (or into bowl/storage), then put half the tahini on each; try (or not) to be fancy. If you made chile oil, drizzle that on now. Cover up any ugly globs of tahini with pita croutons, and put the rest of the croutons on the side.

#i wish i had a cute food tag #uncleftish beanholding #you could do a pesto paletteswap on it: basil instead of cilantro and some pine nuts or walnuts instead of tahini #and. not pita croutons in that case.

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merymoonbeam · 10 months ago

Text

A Tool of Creation

CC3 spoiler. You have been warned.

In acomaf we learn that book of breathings was made to control the cauldron.

So...only made can use its magic.

Made = Feyre , Nesta and Elain

And later in the book we learn that the book is written in Holy Tongue—Leshon Hakodesh.

Might beings: Daglan/Asteri

And this is confirmed in Hofas.

Amren turned to Rhysand and said in that new, strange language—their language: “The glowing letters inked on her back … they’re the same as those in the Book of Breathings.” (hofas)

Bryce's tattoo is in the holy language.

And later in hofas Rigelus says that it was his people's language.

So the book of breathings can control cauldron and it can "open any world" to who can wield it.

Also in Hofas we learn that Asteri corrupted the Cauldron.

The Cauldron was of our world, our heritage. But upon arriving here, the Daglan captured it and used their powers to warp it. To turn it from what it had been into something deadlier. No longer just a tool of creation, but of destruction. And the horrors it produced … those, too, my parents would turn to their advantage.(hofas)

So asteri turned it from tool of creation to tool of destruction.

Once upon a time...cauldron was good.

Can we use Book Of Breathings to uncorrupt the Cauldron? To bring it back to its natural "tool of creation" state?

In Hoeab we learn that the book of breathings is in crescent city. In jesiba's library.

Micah loomed over her. She stretched her arm out—toward the shelf. Her tingling fingers brushed over the titles. On the Divine Number; The Walking Dead; The Book of Breathings; The Queen with Many Faces …

Do we need to get book of breathings from crescent city? Is the crossover not over yet? Are IC going to think with bryce having the language of book of breathings tattooed to her body she might have had access to book of breathings at some point? Are we going back to cc in the next acotar book?

Also it is a great time to add that Cauldron is obsessed with Elain.

“You stole from the Cauldron,” I said to Nesta, who seemed ready to jump between all of us and Elain. “But what if the Cauldron gave something to Elain?” (acowar)

The Cauldron purred in Elain’s presence as the King of Hybern slumped to his knees, clawing at the knife jutting through his throat. Elain backed away a step (Acowar)

The Cauldron seemed to realize what she’d done, too, as his head thumped onto the mossy ground. That Elain … Elain had defended this thief. Elain, who it had gifted with such powers, found her so lovely it had wanted to give her something … It would not harm Elain, even in its hunt to reclaim what had been taken. It retreated the moment Elain’s eyes fell on our dead father lying in the adjacent clearing. The moment the scream came out of her.(Acowar

Why did it give elain such powers? Does it want someone to see how it was corrupted? Does it want to turn into tool of creation state again? Does it see elain as its salvation? (As @riddlecrux talked to me about). All the others saw cauldron as a thing to be used. A thing to be control. But it was only elain who had never stolen from it as nesta did while she was in the cauldron. It found Elain so lovely that it gave her the seer ability.

And from acotar we know that elain look at things as hope.

I gazed again at that sad, dark house—the place that had been a prison. Elain had said she missed it, and I wondered what she saw when she looked at the cottage. If she beheld not a prison but a shelter—a shelter from a world that had possessed so little good, but she tried to find it anyway, even if it had seemed foolish and useless to me. She had looked at it that cottage with hope; I had looked at it with nothing but hatred. And I knew which one of us had been stronger. (Acotar)

So maybe all cauldron needs for someone to look at it with hope. Also @riddlecrux told me that in cauldron myths and legends someone goes willingly into the cauldron to destroy it. Maybe in this case someone willingly going inside it uncorrupts the Cauldron..."Through love all is possible"

And we know that Cauldron is the most important thing in acotar

“Long ago, before the High Fae, before man, there was a Cauldron … They say all the magic was contained inside it, that the world was born in it. But it fell into the wrong hands. And great and horrible things were done with it. Things were forged with it. Such wicked things that the Cauldron was eventually stolen back at great cost. It could not be destroyed, for it had Made all things, and if it were broken, then life would cease to be. So it was hidden. And forgotten. Only with that Cauldron could something that is dead be reforged like that.” (Acomaf)

And in Hofas we learn that Daglan/Asteri made the Cauldron a kill switch.

“Once we left our home world, our powers began to dim. Too late, we realized that we had been dependent on our land’s inherent magic. The magic in other worlds was not potent enough. Yet we could not find the way back home. Those of us who ventured here found ways to amplify that power, thanks to the gifts of the land. We pooled our power, and imbued those gifts into the Cauldron so that it would work our will. We Made the Trove from it. And then bound the very essence of the Cauldron to the soul of this world.” Solas. “So destroy the Cauldron …” “And you destroy this world. One cannot exist without the other.”

In my Mystic&Seers post I connected The Void and Cauldron to each other.

I managed to stand. To take one step before I felt it. The … thing in the Cauldron. Or lack of it. It was lack and substance, absence and presence. And … it was leaking into the world.I dared a step toward it. And what I beheld in those ruins of the Cauldron… It was a void. But also not a void—a growth.It did not belong here. Belong anywhere. (Acowar)

The darkness paused. “You are impertinent as well. Do you not know where I come from? My father was the Void, the Being That Existed Before. Chaos was his bride and my dam. It is to them that we shall all one day return, and their mighty powers that run in my blood.” (hosab)

And from Hofas we know that the Void is actually a blackhole.

The only force in the universe that ate light, so strong no light could ever escape it. A portal to nowhere. To a black hole. Wasn’t that the unholy power that Apollion possessed? The power of the Void. The antithesis of light.

And you know how Elain was when she came out of the Cauldron?

She had been always so full of light. Perhaps that was why she now kept all the curtains open. To fill the void that existed where all of that light had once been. And now nothing remained

The power of the Void...The antithesis of Light.

Elain got rid of that murkiness in her eyes. When Azriel understood what was wrong with her.

It made sense, I supposed, that Azriel alone had listened to her. The male who heard things others could not … Perhaps he, too, had suffered as Elain had before he understood what gift he possessed. He asked Elain, “There is another queen?”

Elain blinked and blinked, eyes clearing again. As if the understanding, our understanding … it freed her from whatever murky realm she’d been in.

Maybe thats all Cauldron needs. So maybe we just need to get rid of the Void, to make sure Cauldron returns to its natural state—a tool of creation.

Also in my Mystic&Seer posts. I looked up what Mysticism is.

Mysticism is popularly known as becoming one with God or the Absolute, but may refer to any kind of ecstasy or altered state of consciousness which is given a religious or spiritual meaning. It may also refer to the attainment of insight in ultimate or hidden truths, and to human transformation supported by various practices and experiences.

Cauldron is the absolute. We looked up that above.

The hidden truths part.

When theia and fionn overthorwn the daglan they didn't learn all their secrets.

They fought the Daglan and won, she went on. Using the Daglan’s own weapons, they destroyed them. Yet my parents did not think to learn the Daglan’s other secrets—they were too weary, too eager to leave the past behind.

And Cauldron made Elain a seer. Maybe to see to learn the other secrets The Daglan had?

We can't even ask Amren because her timeline doesn't even match.

In acosf we learn this.

Rhys shook his head. “Only vaguely now. From what I’ve gleaned, she arrived during those years before Fionn and Gwydion rose, and went into the Prison during the Age of Legends—the time when this land was full of heroic figures who were keen to hunt down the last members of their former masters’ race. They feared Amren, believing her one of their enemies, and threw her into the Prison. When she emerged again, she’d missed Fionn’s fall and the loss of Gwydion, and found the High Lords ruling.”

The problem is how can she go into prison when there was no...prison.

Silene made the prison what it was after she returned from Crescent City. So before fionn's fall...there were no Prison. Actually theia ruled from the Prison Island.

Our home had been left empty since we’d vanished. As if the other Fae thought it cursed. So I made it truly cursed. Damned it all.

One after another, I hunted monsters—the remaining pets of the Daglan—until many of the lowest rooms were filled with them. Until my once-beautiful home became a prison. Until even the land was so disgusted by the evil I’d gathered here that the islands shriveled and the earth became barren. The winged horses who hadn’t gone with my mother to Midgard, who had once flown in the skies, playing in the surf … they were nearly gone. Not a single living soul remained, except for the monstrosities in the mountain.

So even Amren doesn't know. She is even confused in hofas.

Amren picked at an invisible speck on her silk blouse. “It’s murky. I went in before …” She shook her head. “But when I came out, there were rumors. That a great number of people had vanished, as if they had never been. Some said to another world, others said they’d moved on to distant lands, still others said they’d been chosen by the Cauldron and spirited away somewhere.”

So who is better to learn these secret than a Cauldron Made seer?

Also in hofas we learn that Cauldron sits on top of Ramiel.

“The Cauldron,” Nesta said hours later, pointing to yet another carving on the wall. It indeed showed a giant cauldron, perched atop what seemed to be a barren mountain peak with three stars above it. Azriel halted, angling his head. “That’s Ramiel.” At Bryce’s questioning look, he explained, “A mountain sacred to the Illyrians.”

And from Acosf we know that nobody went to look at what lies under ramiel. Sure enough Eris says "secrets". Maybe like daglan secrets???

Eris shrugged, and Nesta knew Cassian monitored his every breath. “There are three of them, you know. Sister peaks. This one, the mountain called the Prison, and the one the Illyrian brutes call Ramiel. All bald, barren mountains at odds with those around them.”

Eris gave him a mocking smile, but continued, “Unsurprisingly, the Illyrians were never curious enough to see what secrets lie beneath Ramiel. If it, too, was carved up like the others by ancient hands.”

What if there is more to under ramiel than we thought? What if its a secret Daglan hideout? I went into detail and what could have inspired it in my Wild Hunt post if you want to read it.

Also we know from acosf that Enalius tried to stop the "enemy" from reaching the stone on top of Ramiel.

Emerie’s eyes shone. “Long ago—so long ago they don’t even have a precise date for it—a great war was fought between the Fae and the ancient beings who oppressed them. One of its key battles was here, in these mountains. Our forces were battered and outnumbered, and for some reason, the enemy was desperate to reach the stone at the top of Ramiel. We were never taught the reason why; I think it’s been forgotten. But a young Illyrian warrior named Enalius held the line against the enemy soldiers for days. He found a natural archway of stone amongst the tangle of boulders and made that his bottleneck. He died in the end, but he held off the enemy long enough for our allies to reach us. This Rite is all to honor him. So much of the history has been lost, but the memory of his bravery remains.”

It was forgotten? Or was it never learned? What if it wasnt The stone the daglan was trying to reach but Cauldron as we know it stood on top of Ramiel? What if they were trying to reach that?

We also learn more about Enalius in hofas.

“You are no creator of mine,” Azriel said coldly. The Starsword gleamed in his other hand. If they bothered him, if they called to him, he didn’t let on. Neither hand so much as twitched. The Asteri’s eyes flared with recognition at the long blade. “Did Fionn send you, then? To slay me in my sleep? Or was it that traitor Enalius? I see that you bear his dagger—as his emissary? Or his assassin?”

The Truth-teller was Enalius's dagger. How did Azriel come to possess it? And we know that after Enalius's dead Fionn took possession of it as it was his friends dagger.

My father had never shown himself to be giving—long had he kept Gwydion and never once offered it to my mother. The dagger that had belonged to his dear friend, slain during the war, hung at his side, unused. But not for long.

And we know that Elain used the TT to kill the King of Hybern.

But as a black blade broke through the king’s throat, spraying blood, I realized someone else had. Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king’s neck as she snarled in his ear, “Don’t you touch my sister.”

So how did Elain stepped out of a shadow?

The asteri under Prison says Azriel doesnt know it use—its full potential.

Vesperus took another step, steadier now, and smiled past Bryce. At Azriel, at Truth-Teller. “You don’t know how to use it, do you?” Azriel pointed the dagger toward the advancing Asteri. “Pretty sure this end’s the one that’ll go through your gut.” Vesperus chuckled, her dark hair swaying with each inching step closer. “Typical of your kind. You want to play with our weapons, but have no concept of their true abilities. Your mind couldn’t hold all the possibilities at once.”

True abilities? All possibilities? There is more than just creating a portal to nowhere with gwydion? Maybe that's how Elain could step out of a shadow? The "unknown" abilities of the Truth-Teller?

Also Autumn king says this:

“The Starsword is Made, as you called it.” He waved an idle hand, sparks at his fingertips. “The knife can Unmake things. Made and Unmade. Matter and antimatter. With the right influx of power—a command from the one destined to wield them—they can be merged. And they can create a place where no life, no light exists. A place that is nothing. Nowhere.”

As @offtorivendell theorised in her mating bond theory. Did the Asteri messed with the mating bonds too?

Can the Truth-teller unmake a mating bond? As it looks the cauldron was corrupted? It even ties to Book Of Breathings and what it said in acomaf:

Unmade and Made; Made and Unmade—that is the cycle. Like calls to like.

And don't ever forget that...

"What if the Cauldron was wrong?" 🫡

#elriel #cc3 spoilers #cauldron #my brain hurts #I wrote all this and accidently deleted it so this is the second post that I had to rewrite #Im dying #hofas

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