#i may not have even hit 100 pages this year

[sneezypeasy]

The Lightning Scene, How Azula Targeted Katara (of All People), and the Doylist Reason Why That Matters

Mention Zuko's sacrifice for Katara in Sozin's Comet Part 3 as part of a pro-Zutara talking point, and invariably you'll get a Pavlovian response of:

"But Zuko would have taken the lightning for anyone."

(Not to be confused with the similar-sounding Pavlovan response, which is "Zuko's sacrifice ain't shit compared to a mouth-watering, strawberry-topped meringue dessert"*, which is actually the only valid counter-argument to how the lightning scene is a bona fide Zutara treasure, but I digress.)

Now, I've talked in depth about how the lightning scene is framed far more romantically than it had any right to be, regardless of how you might interpret the subject on paper; this is an argument which I still stand by 100%. That Zuko would have gotten barbecued for anyone, and that he was at the stage of his arc where his royal kebab-ness represented his final act of redemption, doesn't change the fact that the animators/soundtrack artists decided to pull out all the stops with making this scene hit romantic film tropes bingo by the time it played out on screen.

(I mean, we stan.)

There's also a deeper level to this conundrum, a layer which creeps up on you when you're standing in your kitchen at night, the fridge door open in front of you, your hungry, sleep-deprived brain trying to decide on what to grab for a midnight snack, and quite inexcusably you're struck with the question: Okay, Zuko may indeed have taken the lightning for just anyone, but would Azula have shot the lightning at just anyone?

But there's yet a deeper layer to this question, that I don't recall ever seeing anyone discuss (though if somebody has, mea culpa). And that is: would you have written Zuko taking the lightning for anyone else?

Or in other words, who Zuko would have taken the lightning for is the wrong question to be asking; the question we ought to be asking is who Zuko should have taken the lightning for, instead.

Get your pens out, your Doylist hats on, and turn to page 394. It's time to think like an author for a hot minute.

(If you don't know what I mean by Watsonian vs. Doylist analyses, and/or if you need a refresher course, go have a skim of the first section of this 'ere post and then scoot your ass back to this one.)

So. You're the author. You've written almost the entirety of an animated series (look at you!!) and now you're at the climax, which you've decided is going to be an epic, hero-villain showdown. Classic. Unlike previous battles between these two characters, your hero is going to have a significant advantage in this fight - partly due to his own development as a hero at the height of his strength and moral conviction, and partly because your villain has gone through a bit of a Britney Spears 2007 fiasco, and isn't quite at the top of her game here. If things keep going at this pace, your hero is going to win the fight fairly easily - actually, maybe even too easily. That's okay though, you're a talented writer and you know just what will raise the stakes and give the audience a well-timed "oh shit" moment: you're going to have the villain suddenly switch targets and aim for somebody else. The hero will be thrown off his groove, the villain will gain the upper hand, the turns will have indubitably tabled. Villains playing dirty is the number 1 rule in every villain handbook after all, and each of the last two times your hero's braved this sort of fight he's faced an opponent who ended up fighting dishonourably, so you've got a lovely Rule of Three perfectly lined up for the taking. Impeccable. The warm glow of triumph shines upon you, cherubs sing, your English teachers clap and shed tears of pride. (Except for that one teacher you had in year 8 who hated everybody, but she's a right bitch and we're not talking about her today.)

Now here's the thing: your hero is a hero. Maybe he wasn't always a hero, but he certainly is one now. If the villain goes after an innocent third party, there's basically no-one your hero wouldn't sacrifice himself for. He's a hero! Heroes do be like that, it's kind of their thing. The villain could shoot a bolt of lightning at Bildad the Shuhite, and the only thing that'd stop our boy Redeemed Paladin Bravesoul McGee from shielding his foxy ass is the fact that Bildad the Shuhite has the audacity to exist in a totally different show (disgusten.)

But. You're holding the writer's pen. Minus crossover shenanigans you don't have the licensing or time-travel technology to achieve, you have full control over how this scene plays out. You get to decide which character to target to deliver the greatest emotional impact, the juiciest angst, the most powerful cinematic suspense. You get to decide whose life you'll put at risk, to make this scene the most intense spine-chilling heart-stopper it can possibly be.

This is the climax we're talking about, after all - now is not the time to go easy on the drama.

So.

Do you make the villain target just anyone?

Or do you make the villain target someone the hero cares about?

Perhaps, someone he cares about... a lot?

Maybe even, someone he cares about... more than anybody else?

You are the author. You are the God of this universe. You get to choose.

What would deliver the strongest punch?

If you happen to make the inadvisable decision of browsing through these tropes on TV tropes, aside from wasting the rest of your afternoon (you're welcome), you'll find that the examples listed are littered with threatened and dead love interests, and, well, there's a reason for that. For better or worse, romantic love is often portrayed by authors, and perceived by audiences, as a "true" form of love (often even, "the" true form of love). Which is responsible for the other is a chicken/egg situation, one I'm not going to go into for this post - and while I'm certainly not here to defend this perspective as objectively good, I do think it's worth acknowledging that it not only exists but is culturally rather ubiquitous. (If you're playing the love interest in a story with a hero v. a villain, you might wanna watch your back, is what I'm saying.)

Regardless of whether the vibe you're aiming for is romantic or platonic however, one thing is for certain: if you want maximum oomph, the way to achieve that is by making the villain go after the player whose death would hit the hero the hardest.

And like I said, this doesn't have to be played romantically (although it so often is). There are platonic examples in those trope pages, though it's also important to note that many of the platonic ones do show up in stories where a love interest isn't depicted/available/there's a strong "bromance" element/the hero is low-key ace - and keep in mind too that going that route sometimes runs a related risk of falling into queer-bait territory *coughJohnLockcough*

That said, if there is a canon love-interest available, one who's confessed her love for the hero, one who has since been imprisoned by the villain, one who can easily be written as being at the villain's disposal, and who could quite conveniently be whipped out for a mid-battle surprise round - you might find you have some explaining to do if you choose to wield your authorly powers to have the villain go after... idk, some other sheila instead.

(The fact that this ends up taking the hero out of the fight, and the person he sacrifices himself for subsequently throws herself into the arena risking life and limb to defeat the villain and rescue her saviour, also means the most satisfying way this plays out, narratively speaking, is if both of these characters happen to be the most important person in each other's lives - at least, as of that moment, anyway - but I think this post has gone on long enough, lol)

This is, by and large, a rebuttal post more than anything else, but the tl;dr here is - regardless of whether you want to read the scene as shippy or not, to downplay Zuko's sacrifice for Katara specifically as "not that deep™" because "Zuko would have taken the lightning for anyone anyway", suggests either that a) nobody should be reading into the implications of Katara being chosen as the person nearest and dearest to Zuko, so that putting her life in jeopardy can deliver the most powerful impact possible for an audience you'd bloody well hope are on the edge of their seats during the climax of your story or b) the writers made the inexplicable decision of having the villain threaten the life of... literally who the fuck ever, and ultimately landed on someone who's actually not all that important to the hero in the grand scheme of things - which is a cardinal writing sin if I ever saw one (even disregarding the Choice to then season it with mood lighting and sad violin music, on top of it all), and altogether something I'd be legitimately pissed about if my Zuko-OTP ship paired him with Mai, Sokka, or just about anybody else 😂

Most importantly c) I'm hungry, and I want snacks.

*The Aussies in the fandom will get this one. Everyone else can suffer in united confusion.

[silly-of-the-str1ng]

Dream come True?

A/N: this is the first fic i've written in little over a year so feel free to lmk what you think with a comment or two! also some word/spelling errors, i made this while sick at 11pm 😭🙏

warning: none :3

word count: 1.1k

summary: your dream of going to Billie's show suddenly becomes a reality

part 2

------------------------<3----------------------------

You had been listening to Billie’s new album ‘HIT ME HARD AND SOFT’ ever since it had been released, over and over and over, and well you get the point.

And when you heard Billie was going on tour?- you nearly cried, well no- you did cry, a lot at that.. but as usual the universe wasn't on your side.

“No- No, No, No, NO!-” you practically screamed as you scrolled down to the New York shows, desperately refreshing the page as if the big bold letters “SOLD OUT” would disappear. You had never even had a chance to try and even go to any of her shows even once, you were pretty tight on money due to New york’s crazy prices for just about everything and the moment you had saved up enough money to buy a show ticket? of course you wouldn't be quick enough to get one or even try.

You slammed your head down on your mattress, whining pretty pathetically as your best friend, Amber awkwardly sat next to you, looking up from her phone where she was texting her boyfriend. She sighed softly and shook her head as she tilted down to meet your sad eyes, “all sold out already?”

“yes…” you grumbled, shoving your face into your comforter. “You should at least expect it somewhat, I mean she's Billie Eilish for goodness sake….” Amber hummed as she went back to messaging Lucas.

You sat up slightly, resting your chin on your palm, “I know!” you groaned as you rubbed at your eyes clean of your stupid tears, it felt so stupid to cry over someone who didn't know you at all and you'd never have the chance of meeting, but here you were-

“I just!- She coming to New York three times, Amber! THREE!! and every single show is sold out in under the first day it seems like!” you wailed as you shoved your face back into your blanket.

Amber sighed softly, setting down her phone and gently placing her hand on your back, rubbing soft circles over it- “You know, maybe it's for the best… I mean you'd probably explode if you even had a chance to see Billie in person-” Amber offered, making you scoff harshly.

You wanted nothing more, you'd sell your soul if you had to- or your car…

—-

That was a few weeks ago now, you were still mourning the loss of course but you still had to go to work- so here you were clocking in to your mom's bakery for the oh so convenient shift of 4AM… like anyone was actually up at this time but you had to start making the pastries for the day.

You kneaded at the dough, softly grunting as you rolled it out and cut the dough, shaping it into croissants and setting it on the tray. Though the soft ringing of the front entry door opening and closing caught your attention.

“Seriously…?” you sourly muttered to yourself, who the hell is up at 4:28 in the morning getting breakfast?!- you walked out from the back, sighing excessively as you spoke in a pretty harsh tone-

“Sorry if your here for any pastries you'll have to wait another two hours or so-” though when you met the eyes of the woman who walked in you were shocked-

Billie

fucking

Eilish.

“Oh, no worries- I can wait, I don't have to be anywhere today thankfully,” she shrugged confidently as she met your eyes, those bright blue eyes staring back into yours. You felt your face naturally go red from embarrassment.

You stood there awkwardly before letting out a forced chuckle, “I-I don't want to having to wait in here all by yourself while I make stuff- that'd be kind of rude considering your, well-”

“Billie Eilish?” she finished with a soft smile.

“...yeah…” you mumbled in an almost embarrassed way, well no- it WAS in an embarrassed way, 100 percent.

Though she just simply sat down in one of the booths, crossing her legs, “I may be a singer but that doesn't mean i'm not human enough to not really care-” she chuckled softly, making your heart jump.

“Right- sorry-” You quickly replied.

“I, take it you're a fan?” she asked, not prying but just genuinely looking to see what she was to you in a way. “Uh yeah!-” you awkwardly smiled, “I tried to get a ticket to any of the shows your having here but you know-” you died off at the end, rubbing the back of your neck with the hand that was still completely covered in flour.

“Oh- for real? Do you want one or something? I can just get you set up.” she offered, making you do a double take.

“A-Are you serious?-”

“Yeah, it's easy, I can get you up front too, if you want, I know that some people are sensitive to the bass.” she hummed, pulling out her phone to do god knows what. Then she met your eyes again, tilting her head to the side slightly as if you were just as regular as a friend to her. “So?”

You were star struck, you didn't even know what to say. On the more obvious hand, this was Billie Eilish offering you a completely free ticket to one of her shows, you had to yes. But on the more annoying hand that wanted to have some sort of confidence for some version- you wanted to say no.

“uhhh… i don't think so- I mean it's asking a lot from you really-”

“Nah it's fine, i'll just get you a VIP pass, just tell someone in security to go get me, I know they probably won't listen but if I hear about someone being annoying i'll assume it's probably you-” Billie chuckled.

“...u-uh- okay…”

There was an awkward silence, your shoes squeaking against the floor before Billie spoke up again, “on second thought- i'll just have someone come pick it up… You've got a nice place here but I'd rather not sit down in silence by myself today…” and this time you let out a small genuine laugh, “I hear you.”

Billie stood up and walked over to the counter where you stood behind, “Nice meeting you by the way, most fans I meet are kinda crazy about seeing me,” She chuckled. “Oh believe me i'm going crazy inside.” You scoffed, making her smile. “Well, I'm gonna dip, maybe see you round…?” she shrugged. “Yeah, maybe…” you repeated as she walked over to the front door and opened it. though she looked back- “oh I didn't catch your name.”

“oh- it's Y/N.”

“Y/N… Nice name,” Billie hummed before she walked out, the bell ringing softly of her exit. you stood there in silence before quickly picking up your phone and speed dialing Amber's number.

“Amber-HOLY SHIT YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED-”

[youcouldmakealife]

Stuff That Helps Me Write: Pacing (no, not that kind), and burnout avoidance

So this was supposed to be about something entirely different., but every time I started making a point, I got distracted by a second, bonus idea (ways to trick your brain when it's not cooperating with you! things I've tried (I will try everything) and what worked and didn't! what to do with writer's block!) and then start writing about that, and I've got half a dozen unrelated paragraphs going in my drafts, so I think I'm just going to make this a mini-series of 'stuff that helps me write and may also help you (or maybe they won't, I don't know, this shit's all subjective)'.

If there's anything in particular you'd like to hear about, or something about my process you're curious about, absolutely feel free to reply or shoot me an ask and I'll do my best to address them as I go.

But yeah, pacing. And more specifically, not burning out. I figured it was important I hit this one first, because I think it's the most important one, or at least, the one that makes the biggest difference.

With the caveat that I am someone who has repeatedly driven myself into burnout, I'm also someone who now knows why that is, and have been teaching myself how to, you know, not do that.

So. Here's how I, you know, don't do that.

Will preface this by again mentioning that most writing advice (and advice in general) never seemed to work for me, and I mostly thought I was just Bad at Doing Things, until I learned my brain's literally wired differently, and that I'd been trying to apply processes that didn't actually work for said wiring.

So instead, I figured out what worked for me. And what works for me isn't necessarily what will work for you, or even what will work for me a month or five years down the line, but it's going okay right now.

I'll straight up say that, contrary to all the Writing Advice, I don't write every day, and I don't think it's necessary, or even necessarily a good idea -- I have at times, but I no longer do, because if I write for more than six days straight I find the proverbial well dries up and I write less than I do had I just taken a break when I needed it.

Cognitive energy and the sort of ephemeral ~inspiration (work that's been done on a subconscious level) are fundamentally no different than physical energy: if you don't replenish it, you will run out. If you overdo it, you will run out. If you consistently overdo it without replenishing it, you will burn out.

Taking a page from hockey players here: if you did an intense workout right before a game they'd ask what the fuck was the matter with you. You need a nap and a meal and to get some stretching and light work in. Running at 100% all the time will burn you out in every single field, including this one.

That's not me saying not to run at 100% at all. I generally try to pace myself now, but if I'm really in it, and the words are coming easily, I don't stop until they stop -- I wrote just shy of 4k of later scenes for SAIT last week (my 2024 record!), all in one sititng, by hand, when I was supposed to be sleeping, because that's when the inspiration came. I didn't fall asleep until past 6am that night, and my hand is still mad at me.

But you know how much writing I got done the follow day? (None, I was busy transcribing 4k of handwriting). The rest of this week? (Not much more than that). Those bursts of energy are awesome, and honestly can make you feel like a writing god, but the well's the well, and I've learned my personal well is about 5000 words a week deep.

Before my most recent scrape with autistic burnout, which I'm still sort of climbing my way out of, that well was closer to 7500 words. But honestly, it probably wasn't; I was likely just siphoning words from future wells and then it all caught up with me when I was looking at a horizon of dry-ass wells ahead of me. (I'll admit this isn't a perfect metaphor.)

But seriously, my advice for basically everything, not just writing (and something I wish I'd learned before I hit my 30s), is 'figure out what pace you can work at sustainably'.

Please note that 'sustainably' is not 'without literally dying'. Because my literal ass thought when people said 'give it 100%' they meant, you know, 'give it 100%' (I know! absurd of me), rather than 'give the best effort you can give in this moment considering your current resources'. So I gave it my all (also interpreted that one wrong I guess?). And then I wondered why I kept hitting a wall all the time. And why, eventually, I stopped being able to climb that wall entirely.

I don't think I'm ever going to reach that 7500 word threshold again. There will be weeks I'm so inspired I write that much, but the next week I probably won't manage more than 2500. Or maybe I'll have two 7500 weeks in a row, but I'll need to take a whole week off after that, or spend several weeks working at a lower tempo while I let the well replenish itself.

I've been tracking some metrics quite closely as I sort of tweak my life into its new shape (said shape being 'do the best you can given your resources') , and during my most productive month of this year I wrote 3x as much as the worst (writing wise, I was finalising publication at the time), my current weekly average is about 4800 words. Sometimes it's a bit higher or lower, sometimes much higher or lower, but that's what I can sustainably do right now.

Frankly, I'm a little cranky about this: I know I can do more, because I did do more. But my priority now is not to send myself straight back into burnout again, so when I sprint, it's just that, rather than my previous 'trying to run a marathon at the pace of a sprinter'. I'm writing less than I used to, but it's honestly not that much less: because the pace is sustainable rather than boom and bust, I don't run myself ragged enough to desperately need a break.

I'm aware this advice only works if you have control over your own time, and a schedule that doesn't force you to focus on writing say, one day a week, or around other obligations, but the only real workaround for burnout is consistency, and that consistency cannot be your maximum.

Or, it can, but I guarantee you that will bite you in the ass at some point, and the pain of not getting enough done is nothing compared to the pain of not being able to get anything done because your nervous system threw up its hands and decided if you weren't going to listen to their clues (feelings, symptoms) or their warnings (Feelings, Symptoms) that you were overdoing it, they were going to shut your ass down until you listened.

0/10 do not recommend.

Next week: how to trick your brain into doing shit that it doesn't feel like doing, even though it's onto all your tricks by now. Or at least, how I trick mine.

[nevros-fr]

Big question: Who or when was the first use of the term UMA?

Cross posted to FR's forums but I thought fr tumblr meta readers would like this too! Introduction What is a UMA? It stands for User Made Accents, where the companion term is User Made Skins, but UMAs caught on as the catch-all term instead of UMS. I was in the Arcane discord server where foxaquinn made a joke about UMAs and wondered who was the first to use it. If you are on GASP (general accent and skin pinglist), UMAs pop up regularly where I got pinged 60+ times for threads with UMA in the title. I research by day and play pet sims by night so here I am, combining research and pet sims to unravel how language changed throughout the years in the skins and accents community! I included in text citations for my sources because I like those and I don’t like making works cited lists. :) First, what language does the staff use for skins? Maybe UMAs came from them? The Kickstarter uses the word “customs” in regards to the skins (Kickstarter, 2013) The first skin submission competition for the festival, Undel used the word “customs” to refer to the skins users made (Undel, 2013). Note that the current competitions and even the tooltip for blueprints use the word “customs” as well. The blueprint page even uses “user-created” and not “user-made” so "user made" must have stemmed from the community as a more casual way to say user-created.

Results Let’s rule out some approaches that may give an easy answer. I tried to use the FR search tool to see if I could find the first use of UMA, however it only indexes up to one year of results or 100 pages, whichever you hit first when you sort by age so I wasn’t able to glean anything from that. Note that I tried to stick with UMA as the search term because use of UMS just overlaps too largely with the sound “um” when I use the search bar, which also means that plurals are captured by FR’s search. I can also tell you that FR’s search lets you type in user-made or user made and it will pull up the same results.

Then I tried google where I used the key terms site:https://www1.flightrising.com/forums/ "UMA" with a time range from 2013 to 2014. It looked promising at first because it looked like there was an instance as early as 2013. When I actually checked it though, it pulled up the most recent use of UMA in the forums in the first two hits as seen by the timestamps of May 2023 next to it. Google indexed when the forum board was established instead of the individual threads for this search. I dropped the time range and just checked what results it would pull up.

There was an individual thread called the FR Abbreviations Guide that got pulled up. It was made in 2014 and includes both UMA and UMS in the definition list. However, UMA was added to the page in 2020 (FR Abbreviations, 2020).

I decided to just look back at some of the early Skins and Accents posts to see what language they use. It was pretty interesting, where many people just used skins and accents. There is no distinction yet, likely because there weren’t any festival or coliseum skins that users could submit yet! There were still categories though, since blueprints were so expensive, some artists offered “premades” which were skins people could buy for a certain cost on top of providing a blueprint. There were also options for “ghost artists” where the artist could design a custom skin but pass the psd files to the patron for them to distribute instead of the artist selling them instead. “Customs” was also another common term, where it works the same as it does today. People commission an artist to design a unique skin for them. The majority of skins on the market right now would be considered premades back then, which makes sense as it lets the artist have their creative liberties and will allow like minded users to support them.

I was clearly a fool to think UMAs were old because with the skins and accent threads research, I decided to comb through my forum posts to see what I ended up using. I first used UM accents in 2016 since that is when I first started collecting them, then the last time I used it was in early 2018 because I started using UMA by early 2019. I have no posts between 2018 and 2019, but clearly there was a language shift for me that preceded the FR abbreviations update just a year later  (FR Abbreviations, 2020). I’m usually slow in the uptake so I decided to try and track down other forum boards besides the skin specific threads to see what terms were used.

As I was thumbing through the pages, I think I may have overestimated the age of UMA use popularity because I thought it started back in 2013-2014 since that is when the site first got started and I felt like UMA was such an old acronym. The General Skins and Accents Pinglist (GASP) started in 2016. I raked the first version for mentions of “UMA” and there was nothing ! The use of “UM skins” and “UM accents” was the norm (GASP, 2016; GASP V2.0, 2016; GASP v2.0, 2018). One of the first instances of UMAs being used in this thread was in 2018 (GASP, 2018). Can I do any better than 2018? It surely is an older term!

The accent trading hub was established in 2014, so chances are, there are some time points there! The results for “user made” predates “UM accents” by one year, and “UMA” by two years which were 2014, 2015, and 2016 respectively (Accents Trading Thread, 2023a; Accents Trading Thread 2023b; Accents Trading Thread 2023c). There were 14 pages of results for “user made”, 64 pages for “UM accents”, and 96 pages for “UMAs” from the accent trading hub thread. “UMA” was used by two people in 2016, then 5 pages worth of posts in 2017, then another 6 pages worth of posts in 2018, and it took off with 25 pages worth of posts in 2019. Clearly the language was developing around 2016 but exploded in popularity in 2018. This trend was similar in the UMA mentions in the skins and accents forum board. I used ctrl + f with UMA to see when it started regularly showing up in titles, and that was in 2018.

Discussion

According to the UMA searches in the discussion boards, do you know what cultural icon got a revival in the minds of mainstream media? Uma Thurman specifically because of Fall Out Boys who released a song with her name. And you know what Uma is like? UMA, User Made Accents. I’m not saying that Fall Out Boys planted the idea in our heads, but it’s quite the coincidence the song came out in 2015 and UMA as an acronym use started in 2016. In fact, when I searched the FR threads for UMA across the site, the early ones were Uma as a name and Uma referring to the song. The earliest mention of UMA that was actually relevant and broke containment from the skins and accents board was in 2017 in the tiny little questions thread asking what does UMA stand for. (tiny little questions, 2017).

I would like to say that while this user wasn’t the first to use it, they repeatedly popped up when I tried to see who used UMA the earliest. And that user is chocomonster, they showed up and consistently used UMAs in the forums since 2016. I’m saying they showed up in the bug reports, suggestions, dragon trading posts using “UMA”. They are definitely an early trendsetter for UMAs and repped it across the forums.

Popularity of UMA rose in 2018, you know what else got popular in 2018? Reselling UMAs to the secondary market. Typing in UMA in a title means you have more characters for other things. You know which artist got really popular in 2018? Ravenhearst. She has since changed her username but I will keep Ravenhearst for the search results legacy.

I know correlation doesn’t equal causation, but her skins were massively popular when she was regularly releasing skins for the highly rendered wings and sky scenes where there were skins sold in the 100s range. I looked at the game database for Ravenhearst’s earliest skin which was #24078 and compared it to my hoard of festival skins as a year benchmark. The Flameforger’s event in 2017 has a skin with #23992 while the Crystalline Gala in 2018 had a skin #25608. She started her night sky niche around skin #25001 so it lines up with the 2017 - 2018 timeline.

A stronger communal identity was also created with groups like accent addicts anonymous in 2017 or aaa for short, which is a group of collectors and artists who came together to make collaborative skins. An early "big hit" for them were the wildclaw male line where the participating artists made flower/halo/wings skins that were super popular at the time but also being hated on by the vocal minority. If you weren't around for the bustle, one example that came out would be Invidious by fenmori or Bewitched by Churyu. Some examples of the aaa's recent work would be like aaa. Amanita Ambrosia where three artists take turns, one sketches the concept, one lines the skin and one renders it .The increase of more people interested in buying skins and artists flexing their creativity allowed for a great burst of interest that has carried on to this day.

Conclusions Can I pinpoint who first used user made accents, UM accents, UMAs? No, but, I can guess that it was sometime between 2015-2016. It is clear that language has evolved in small ways right under our noses and that human memories are terrible as I thought we were using UMAs since the very beginning. The customization and uniqueness of the UMA system on FR is such a joy and I can't wait to see how the community changes in the future!

If someone wants to try to tackle who first said UMA, be my guest and let me know! My earliest mention of UMA was October 2016 in the Accent Trading Hub  Accents Trading Thread 2023c.

In conclusion, I love umas and will probably look at their sales and trends more.

[project-sekai-facts]

As a person who hasn’t played any other rhythm game, why do you think prsk is so successful in a category where there are so many other games to choose from? I guess this would also relate to why you quit the other games you were playing?

hatsune miku.

also i think the story is project sekai is very engaging and generally much better than rhythm games in terms of writing quality and storytelling. i can't comment on bandori because i never got into the story, but compared to D4DJ, proseka is much more consistently good and deep. that's not to say there's anything wrong with D4DJ's more lighthearted overall tone aside from when it gets into questionable shit but sometimes it feels like there's no stakes even when the story tries to say that there are, and generally it's written more like a comedy slice of life than prsk's very realistic and heavier slice-of-life style.

the same can be said for SIF of which i read 6 chapters 3 years ago before skipping literally everything else. the stories were pretty simple again and obviously some people are gonna prefer that over prsk's sometimes more heavy-hitting tone but from a critical pov project sekai does have the better writing.

both the other franchises i mentioned do have really good writing at times. while love live is ultimately slice-of-life with comedy it does have some exceptional character writing, as does D4DJ. Some of the D4DJ stories released in the last year are also amazingly well-written and have dealt with much heavier topics and handled them really well. but that's enough of me gushing about those.

i think its interesting that while this game has always been pretty popular as a idol mobage outside asia, EN suddenly exploded last may-june and i'm not entirely sure why (i guess summer break in america and maybe some adverts and tiktok?). like i used to be able to T20K-30K by barely playing the events and suddenly i was getting T100Ks when I didn't change how i played at all.

Also like. not the best way to judge but when i first checked this fandom's ao3 page in february last year it had about 300 fics and it very suddenly started rapidly going into the 1000s starting that May-ish. like, very rapidly. as of posting this we're at 15516 (only 6k less than enstars which is a much older game) and two ships made it into AO3s top 100 this year so that's a very significant boom in popularity just to back up my bad tiering strats.

i also think tiktok definitely played a part in the game's EN popularity. i don't go there but the tiktok fanbase is huge, right? and then it runs on algorithm shit so people get that stuff on their FYP and download the game. word of mouth but digital style. also crossover with genshin somehow that i think has roots on that app.

the thing is that none of those directly have to do with why people would play proseka over the others and i think that's it. prsk has become an outright popular game outside of the idol-rhythm label. loads of people at my college know what hatsune miku: colorful stage is but barely any of them know enstars or bandori which are the other big names.

i think in someways it's less project sekai being the "preferred" game and more project sekai being the "known" game.

what the fuck did i just write i'm so sorry

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

The Secret Portal, Draft One

The people have spoken. Here's my school project I wrote when I was 10.

At fifteen pages, it was the longest in the class by far! (Our minimum requirement was two pages, which most barely reached)

I also got a 100% on it!

Instead of the regular taglist for TSP, tagging the people I tagged in the original poll -- @gracehosborn @illarian-rambling @mk-writes-stuff @elsie-writes @mysticstarlightduck @little-peril-stories @buffythevampirelover @willtheweaver @eccaiia @winterandwords @thepeculiarbird @televisionjester @finchwrites @theeccentricraven @awritingcaitlin @sleepywriter00 @dyrewrites @somethingclevermahogony @writeintrees @thebejeweledwatercat @theelfauthor @cadotoast @space-writes @sunset-a-story

Can't believe I have to put a warning on this, but--

CW: children are threatened with a firearm but don't worry no one gets hurt and they aren't even that scared; brief Harry Potter reference

Word count: 2.3k

Est. reading time: 7-11 minutes

The following is transcribed exactly as written, save for my use of multi-colored text, which I'm not gonna waste my time adding in.

****

~“Come on, Aurora!” I shouted to my friend, Aurora Flité, who wasn't moving from her seat at school. “Alexia, the bell hasn’t…” she started RRRIIINNNGGG!!! “Oh, wait! ‘The bell hasn’t rang yet’!” I joked. Aurora sighed, shook her head, and pushed herself up saying, “Ha, ha, ha!” “Bye Mrs. Kat!” we called. “Oh, wait Alexia,” Mrs. Kat, my teacher, called. “I found this.” She handed me my metal detector. “I found it on the floor. It said, ‘Redinés’ on it, so, I guessed it was yours.” “Thanks.” I said. “Bye, girls!” she called after us. We walk out of Little Rock Elementary. The beautiful blanket of May flowers stretched out all the way… to my house. <3 I sighed. Nothing was better than… “AAAHHH!!!” I whirled around. Aurora had disappeared! I moved the grass where she had been standing. A rock. A metal rock? I stood up, confused. I put my bag down, next to Aurora’s (which she probably dropped) and felt the rock with my hand. “AAAHHH!!!” I screamed.

EVERYTHING WENT BLACK

************

~I opened my eyes. Was I lying in snow? I forced myself up. Wait… it wasn't snow… it was… CLOUDS?!?!?!?! OK. I am dreaming. I thought.I pinched my self. OW! No, wasn't dreaming. “Aurora! Aurora!!! I called. NO ANSWER. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a house. I crossed my fingers and hoped this was the right house. I knocked on the door and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited… and soon, I started to walk away when an elderly woman opened the door. “Hello!” she said, cheerfully. “Hihaveyouseenagirlwithblackishbrownredhair?” I blurted out. “Herhairflowsuptoherwaist.” “Wha...OH! Yeah, I’ve seen her. She went that way.” the woman said, pointing to her right. I ===zoomed off! “Oh! And watch out for my pet, Bobby!” I thought Bobby was a very hyper puppy that could trample me but, I had to continue my search. I soon found her upside down tangled in vines. I charged towards her. “HEADS UP!” I warned. I pulled on the vines. “AAHH!” she screamed. “umph!” she said as she hit the ground. I brushed the hair out of my eyes, when suddenly… “RRRROOOOAAAARRRR!!!!” We both whirled around. A dragon!! “Run for it, Aurora!” I breathed. We charged towards the house and banged on the door. “LET US IN!!” we shouted. “DRAGON ALERT!” “Come in girls!” the woman said, cheerfully. “Oh, and you too, Bobby!” “BOBBY?!” Aurora said weakly, and fainted... RIGHT ON TOP OF ME.

****

Aurora woke up a few minutes later and found me in the living room. “Where am I?” “The lady’s, Lizzy’s, house.” “Oh, yeah right.” We heard a clatter in the kitchen. We figured it was Lizzy or Bobby, but when we walked in a boy about 16 years old, was standing there. “Hey, you must be Alexia and Aurora! I’m George.” When I shook his hand, he seemed strong, but he didn’t look strong. “Hi,” a voice said behind us. A 17-18ish years old girl was smiling at us. “I’m Carly.” Suddenly, we heard laughter in the other room. We ran towards the noise. We found them in Lizzy’s bedroom. Lizzy and her husband were on the bed. “Oh, Aurora and Alexia, right?” he said. “I’m Theodore Majg. But you can call me Ted.” Suddenly, we heard a knock at the door.” “I’ll get it.” Lizzy sang, as she ran to get the door. “Alexia! Aurora! Someone’s here to see you!” she called a minute later. For US? HERE?! We ran towards the door. A man was there. He wore a very big black hat that covered his face. He also wore a long, black cape. There was only one thing I knew: We didn’t know this guy. The man in black pulled out a gun. A GUN! “Show me the treasure or everyone DIES!” What treasure??? I thought Aurora was about to faint when she said, “OK. we don’t know who you are or what treasure, but if you tell us, we might be able to help.” I thought the man was probably FURIOUS. Instead, he said, “Well, it’s what you call… a metal detector.”

****

~I couldn’t move. He wanted something that was in my pocket! “Um… about that...uh…” the words sounded as fake as they were. “It’s in Lizzy room!” Aurora and I ran in the other room. “I need to hide this!” I yanked out the “treasure”. “Why does he want this?” Aurora asked me. “The portal. The portal brought us here. In Cloud City!” (I named it Cloud City since we were in the clouds.) “The portal is metal. I explained. “I think he wants to use the metal detector to find the portal, destroy it, and keep us from going back to Arkansas!” Aurora looked bewildered. Suddenly, she snatched the metal detector out of my hands and jumped off the bed. “We still havn’t found it!” she shouted. Then, she THREW open the dresser drawer JAMMED the metal detector in, and SLAMMED the drawer shut! “Uhhh!” she grunted as loud as she could. “We just CAN’T find it!” she groaned. Wow! My BFF is a WONDERFUL actor. We went back out into the living room. “I’m sorry, sir. But we can’t find it. You can come back another day.” I said. “TOMORROW!” he shouted. When he left, I felt like fainting myself.

****

~That night, I couldn’t sleep a wink. I closed my eyes, trying to go to sleep. My mind was only focused on the metal detector. I thought of a safe place for it, out of the house. Then… I drifted… away….

****

~When I woke up the next morning, I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that the metal detector was gone. I was about to say, “Aurora! Get up!” When suddenly… BOOP! BOOP! BOOP! BOOP! I screamed. Aurora screamed. We both rolled off the couches, which was where we were sleeping. Oh, by the way, that was Ted’s alarm clock. “Aurora,” I said. “I think we should check the drawer for the You-Know-What.” “Why do we ne-” But I was already running into the room. She sighed, and ran after me. She found me digging though Lizzy’s drawer. “Not here.” I told her. “Oh no!” Aurora exclaimed. “He broke in!” “Check the back door.” I ordered. She ran to the back door. I zoomed to the front. “Locked!” Aurora called. “Same here!” I called back. “Girls!” Lizzy’s voice called come here!” Aurora and I ran towards her voice. We found her in the kitchen sitting down on a chair. “Sit there,” Lizzy pointed to 2 seats in front of her. “You’re 10, right?” We nodded. Uh-oh. I knew what was coming. “Your parents found out when they were your age. You 2--like your family, and every one in this house--have…” Oh my gosh!!! I gave Aurora the Don’t Even Think About Fainting! look. She nodded. “...magical...abilities.”

****

~I knew it. Aurora--thankfully--didn’t faint. Whew! “Like what?” Aurora asked. “Well,” Lizzy said. “I can see through walls.” Our mouths fell open. “For example,” Lizzy went on “Ted is naked and in the shower.” Aurora looked like she was about to puke. “What’s mine?” she asked. “Well,” Lizzy stated, “Yours Aurora, is… Oh! Yeah! You can read minds!” Aurora’s face lit up. “COOL!” Oh my gosh! This is freaky! I thought. “Alexia,” Aurora said looking at me. “You are thinking Oh my gosh. This is freaky! Correct?” I nodded. My mouth was still open. “What’s mine?” I asked, even though I knew what the answer probably was. “Alexia, yours is transportation. You can transport objects, people, and animals to different places.”

****

~Wow! I knew it. I looked at Aurora’s glasses, closed my eyes, and focused on the table POP! I opened my eyes, and looked at the table. The glasses were there. Aurora started to reach for her glasses. I grinned. POP! They were on her lap. POP! They were on my head. POP! They were on her face. “Not funny!” Aurora looked annoyed, but she was biting her lip trying not to laugh. She then turned to Lizzy. “How close do I have to be to read minds?” she asked. “15 yards.” Lizzy answered. “I thought Aurora was done with questions, but, oh no! “You said everyone in this house had abilities! What’s Ted’s? What’s George’s? What’s Carly’s?” Lizzy sighed. “Wel, Ted has super-hearing for a mile. George has super-strenght. And Carly can pick up a pencial with her mind, and write something she’s working on sketching with her mind.” After ALL of that, I REALLY thought Aurora would be done with questions (expecialy if she could read minds) but, she wasn't. “Cool! You also said our families have abilities. What’s Mom’s? What’s Dad’s? What’s Robert’s? What’s Marie-Sue’s? What’s Julian’s? What’s Mrs. Redinés’? What’s Mr. Redinés’? What’s Kelly’s?” Oh my gosh, HOW CAN 1 GIRL HAVE THAT MANY QUESTIONS!? But Lizzy didn’t seem to mind. “Your mom can make things appear out of thin air. Your dad can embarass enemies. Robert can make his voice super loud and it can be heard for 3 miles when he taps his chest. Marie Sue can talk to animals. Tamara has X-Ray vision. And Julian can turn into animals.” Lizzy then turned to me. “Your mom can turn invisible. Your dad has a photographic memory. A Kelly can get in a full conversation ½ klm away.” OMG!!! This was waaaaay to much for me to handle. I absoultely positivley wanted to faint. But then it hit me. The metal detector was gone because of me! I didn’t even know where it was! Ding-Dong! Oh no! The man in black was here!! Wait! I can transport things! My mind focused on the metal detector. POP! The metal detector was safe. For now, at least. I ran towards the door. “Lizzy,” I whispered. “Do you know him?” I pointed to the door. “Take off his hat, Alexia.” I focused on his hat. POP! The hat was next to Ted (who had came out of the shower.) “How did this…” I gave him the Cut It Out! look. He nodded. “Now?” I asked Lizzy. She pushed her curly, gray hair out of her eyes and said, “Yes. He is an evil sorcerer named Warlock LV.” All of a sudden, I remembered Lizzy’s own words: “You can transport objects, people, and animals.” People. I can transport people. BAM! BAM! BAM! My mind focused on Warlock LV. POP! He was 0.6 klm away from us. “I heard a splash.” Ted said suddenly. “He’s at the pool.” I looked at him in surprise. But then I remembered that he could hear a mile away, and 0.6 klm is a mile. I ran into the living room. About a minute later, I had Lizzy, Ted, Aurora, George, and Carly living room with me. (I’d transported them) “I have a plan.” I said.

****

I tied my hair in braids to keep the hair--brown-mess off my shoulder. I made sure my scarlett dress was straight. I fumbled with my glasses. Even though it was my plan, I was REALLY nervous. Aurora and Ted were at the front of the house, waiting to hear him. (“Him” is Warlock LV.) Finally, “I hear him!” Ted called out. That was Carly’s cue. She made out 15-yard mark by picking up a chalk with her mind, drew a line and wrote: Don’t cross this line! Or else! And that’s exactly what we meant.

****

“I know what he’s thinking!” Aurora blurted out a few minutes later. “He’s thinking: ‘Don’t Cross This LINE! Or else! Ha! Stupid kids!’.” Wow. “Lizzy!” I called. “Remember the alarm!” A few minutes later, we heard… ERRRH! That meant Lizzy saw Warlock LV, and that was also George’s cue. He literally busted down the door, ran down the block, and threw Warlock LV up! This was my chance. My mind focused on him and I transported him far away. (I don’t even know where!) “We did it!” we shouted. Then Aurora tapped me on the shoulder. “Alexia, where is the metal detector?” I smiled. “Come on!” I walked into the kitchen, and pointed to the cookie jar on top of the refridgerator. I looked at Aurora. Her mouth was hanging open. I smiled, transported the metal detector down, and walked to the door. “Bye,” we called. “Bye, bye!” they called back. When Aurora and I stepped outside, we heard a roar. “Bye, Bobby!” we waved and it seemed like he waved back.

****

“I found it!” We had just reached the portal. I had been using the metal detector to find it. “I’ll go first.” Aurora said. She took a deep breath, stepped in, and disappeared. I looked around 1 last time. I told myself I can come back anytime. I sighed, closed my eyes, took one step, and fell back to Earth…

****

FLOP! I was back on Earth. I looked up., Aurora was standing there. I forced myself up, and looked at the school, 3:00PM?! But… I looked at the date on my watch, May 15, 2013!? No time had passed since we left. “Let’s… go...home.” I said.

****

I was exhausted! “Hi, Alexia!” my little sister, Kelly, said. She looked happy to see me. Something clicked. Kelly’s best friend, Nellie, had powers too. Nellie once looked like she was floating. I ran to the phone and saw my mom disappear into thin air. And then, my dad started to recite the entire 1st chapter of the 7th Harry Potter book, word for word! I grabbed the phone, dialed Aurora’s numbered and told her to bring Julian and Tamara.

****

On the way to the school, while Julian, Kelly, and Nellie were ahead of us, Tamara, Aurora, and I were talking about our powers. Tamara, Aurora, and I all agreed that Nellie’s magical ability was floating. All of a sudden… “AAAHHH!!!” We looked up. Julian and Nellie were looking down at the portal. “Wait for us, Kelly!” they shouted and jumped after her…………

And

I

knew

exactly

what

was

about

to

happen.

[strongsuits]

How does one get started playing TF2?

alright, step one, you're gonna go To the Team Fortress 2 Steam Page and Download it. And install it. I used to consider this as 'Taking a long time' since 21 gigabites 10 years ago was like, a whole lot. But nowadays, in the era of Western Game Dev, it's nothing. Step 2. You will be greeted with the main menu screen.

You have no items. So what you're gonna do, is go up to the top right corner and hit 'Find a game' That will open this menu.

Now, you may be tempted to hit the 'Training' Button. I mean. You can. the TF2 Training is notoriously lacking, but, it will teach you the absolute basics if you've like...never played a First person Shooter in your life. There's only three tabs on this menu that matter. "Casual" "Mann vs Machine" and "Community Servers" Forget about MvM right now, that'll be something for you to explore later, when you have the feel of the game down. First what you're going to do is hit 'Casual' That will open up this screen.

This will give you the list of gamemodes you could queue for. If we weren't currently under attack, I'd say 'Queue for anything! it'll be fine!' But, given that...well...

This. You're going to want to stick to the most popular modes. Uncheck everything except "Payload" and "Attack/Defense" and hit 'Start Search' With luck, you'll be placed into a game of Dustbowl or Badwater with mostly real live actual people in it. If not, you'll be votekicked before too long by a group of spinbots blasting Music that ranges from 'Alright' to 'Utterly Offensive' From here, you have two options. 1. Re-queue, trying to find a casual match that isn't under fucking siege OR! 2. Go back and hit this button instead

This will open the old fashioned server browser. Now, for this next section, Imagine my voice is coming out of an old timey radio, or perhaps, a crunchy 2001 walmart brand computer mic. BACK IN THE DAY, THIS WAS THE ONLY WAY TO FIND A SERVER! YOU'D HIT 'FIND A GAME' AND IT'D OPEN UP THIS QUAINT LITTLE BOX!

AND INSIDE, IS ALL THE SERVERS YOU COULD WANT FOR! What you're going to do next is go up to the second row of tabs on the list, mouse over to 'Players' and click it. That'll change the sort mode to putting games with more players on the top. Garunteed you'll see the Shounic 100 Player server on tippy top, but, ignore that for now, that's for advanced TF2 players. I'd reccomend you next go down to the search bars, and at the map bar, type in "cp_dustbowl" or "pl_badwater" or perhaps even "ctf_2fort" Then, look through the list and find a server with at least 10 people in it, that preferably is not instant-respawn. Then, pick a class that looks fun to try out, and enjoy! I warn you, though, the Server-Browser crowd is typically a good many IQ points higher than your Casual crowd, so, you might be jumping into the deep end here, but, hopefully you'll have enough good players on your team to even it out. Once you get your sealegs you can search around for 'your' server. Perhaps you like the Try-Hard, Objective Focused gameplay of the Uncletopia servesr. Maybe you like the instant-respawn, 32 player chaos of the Skial domain. Me? I play mostly on "The Furry Pound #4" and "Tiny Kitty's Girlpound"

Now go, and have.... The Most Fun you can have online.....

[creations-by-chaosfay]

Depending on our budget, I may be attending the Portland Quilt Show this week*. It's a little over two hours away, and will be the first quilt show I've attended since childhood. It simply depends on the budget. Fuel, tickets, and food aren't an issue, but attending with no shopping just isn't gonna work for me. Fabric, tools, books, patterns, and a few other fun things are gonna be there. A four hour round trip is gonna require coming how with good things.

I have items in my shop, prices start at $0 USD, and I have quilt tops available with the option to have me handquilt them before shipping. Everything has a base price, some starting at $0, and the option to pay more.

I asked my mom, who has been to dozens of such shows, what I should bring woth me for shopping, she laughed. Why? Because she has a large budget. She told me a minimum of $400 to cover fuel, food, tickets, and goodies.

Yes, I flinched when she told me that.

She takes a lot of classes at shows, and leaves with many quilt kits. I have only purchased a couple kits, and one was about $100 at 50% off. They include fabric and the pattern. The most expensive already have the fabric cut and include thread, needles, templates, and rulers. Personally, I'm fine with a pattern, but that's not always an option.

Books and fabric will be what grab my attention. I'm low on red and yellow yardage, and need to restock those prints. Books are my weakness. Multiple patterns in a single unit? Less expensive than individual patterns. I especially love foundation paper piecing books with CDs included because those have the patterns ready to print. Then there's the other goodies, like threads, to consider.

Please consider making a purchase from my shop, even just a digital download. If I don't hit the minimum $400 my mom suggested, all funds will be applied to the goal on my ko-fi page.

*There will be other quilt shows I might be able to attend this year. My husband will likely be relieved about not attending seeing as he's gonna be bored. 😅

[nanowrimo]

4 Steps to Making Each NaNoWriMo Event Your Own

While many people look forward to the 50K challenge in November, our upcoming Camp NaNoWriMo challenge in April can be a good time to try a new kind of writing project or set a goal of your own. If you’re looking for tips on personalizing your NaNo experience, NaNo Participant Stephanie Braxton has some advice! NaNoWriMo is known for being the Write 50,000 Words in 30 Days challenge. Like many things in life, National Novel Writing Month, and all of its accompanying events throughout the year, are what you make of them.

I’ve always been someone who liked writing by hand. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found more convenience for the habit of writing in a composition book than a laptop. That is how I tackle NaNoWriMo three times a year, with a cheap Papermate pen and a $1 black and white composition notebook. I set my own goal, which is often dependent on what’s going on in my life at the time and what project I’m working on. If you find yourself enchanted by the community and atmosphere around this challenge, but you’re scared or unable to commit to November’s 50k challenge, maybe try it another way. There are some things you’ll need to do first though.

1. Figure out your normal.

No matter how you write, find what is a normal and easy pace for you. For me, I can usually do 30 pages handwritten in 30 days, easy. That is my normal, average pace. It is the baseline from which I figure out how I can challenge myself.

2. Decide how much to challenge yourself.

This part may take some trial and error. You may have to adjust your goal if you realize the original one is not working. Even though I conquered a 75 page goal in the past, sometimes life is being crazy or the story itself is not cooperating, and I'll have to lower my goal to 50 pages. The flip side of that is what happened to me last November, when I started out with a 50 page goal and ended up writing 78 pages.

3. Find ways to give yourself a boost.

I take my writing everywhere. I’ve written in the car while waiting at the dentist. I’ve taken a book light and attached it to my notebook, and written in the floor of my kids’ bedroom while I’m waiting for them to go to sleep. It doesn’t always work, but when something is important, we can find time for it.

4. Realize that each NaNoWriMo event is different.

It can be discouraging when you see people who commit to this challenge every year always hitting 50,000 words. Do not let that stop you from trying. Social media contributes to this falsehood that we should be able to do everything at 100% all the time, and that is just not always the case. I’ve had some epic flops of NaNoWriMos, but then I’ve come back to the challenge the next time and nailed my goal. Like writing itself, it has highs and lows.

Though I’ve had some good non-NaNoWriMo writing months, I find this challenge gets me to do more than I would any other time. Even being a rebel who always does handwritten and always does page goals instead of word count, I would not change the November event at all. Honoring the original idea that created NaNoWriMo isn’t stopping me from making this challenge my own. In my opinion, the spirit of the event is just to get to writing, and that’s what it does for me, nearly every time.

I hope as April approaches, you feel that magic in the air that makes all writers put fingers to keyboard or pen to paper.

Happy Writing!

Stephanie Braxton is a working mama of two, married to a Forever DM of Dungeons and Dragons. Daylighting as an administrative assistant for a non-profit focused on adult literacy, she writes whenever and wherever she can purely for the joy of it. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

[pluckyredhead]

Green Arrow #1 (2023)

I promised to yell my feelings about this issue so here! Are! My feelings!!!

Spoilers beneath the cut, obviously. Also, I won’t be including scans since I want to encourage people to buy this comic. It’s already selling so well that it was expanded from a 6 issue miniseries to 12 issues before the first issue even came out - if sales stay strong, maybe we can get an ongoing!

First off, love Sean Izaakse’s art so so so much, I adore his designs for the characters and the way he makes them move. Roy and Connor’s new looks are a little busy but I forgive him because they have such lustrous hair. (Though I still long for a Connor with a curl pattern.)

Starting with Ollie hitting on Dinah while barely conscious? A+. Also, the bit where he realizes he’s on an island again and is like “HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME???” made me laugh out loud.

I’m not going to lie, on the first double page spread, I’m...not sure why Doomsday is there? Or whose arm is sticking up out of the rubble? Does anyone know?

Why on earth would Dinah call Connor “Hawke?” That line felt really weird to me. Izaakse has been calling him that on Twitter so idk if they’re trying to rebrand him that way or what. Are they making it his new codename? I guess it’s slightly less dumb than “Drake.”

Also, I love the flashback panel of Roy and Connor with their arms around each other, but I am very tired of this thing DC has been doing lately where we see the aftermath of big moments and not the big moment itself. I suppose I shouldn’t complain considering that they nailed the most important reunion in this issue, but I really would have liked to see Connor’s reunions with Roy and Dinah, especially considering that Emiko and Dinah both had basically zero reaction to learning that Roy wasn’t dead. (And in that vein, I’d like to see an actual conversation with Ollie about Connor being ace and not just a flashback panel that’s like “I told my dad, and he was great about it! This will only be addressed annually in Pride issues from now on!” Bonus points for Ollie being very supportive but not 100% getting it and getting a chance to learn.)

JASON SAID THE VAN HAD FINGERPRINTS THAT MATCHED. ROY’S LEAD CAME FROM JASON. Jason and Roy are another set of characters where we were robbed of a good, satisfyingly emotional reunion, but in the single solitary panel we were given of the two of them together, Jason did say he would find Lian, AND HE KEPT HIS PROMISE. Can we please stop discoursing about whether or not he is a good friend to Roy now?

Ollie says that Roy is the greatest marksman in the world and my heart grew three sizes. The last time this came up was 2006ish and it was contested, with the heavy implication that Roy would soon surpass Ollie. I guess he finally made it! I’M SO PROUD. (Although... Shado is the greatest marksperson in the world. I choose to believe that Ollie is using a gendered term deliberately, especially considering what he says to the Manhunter at the end of the issue. Anyway lololol get fucked Merlyn, enjoy being #4.)

“I may have taught Roy and Connor” what did you teach Connor, Ollie? Stop lying.

The flashback panel of Ollie and Dinah fighting back to back is! So! Good! Very Doc Shaner, which is always a compliment.

WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED WHEN LIAN APPEARED

The first time I read this I wasn’t sure if they knew it was Lian, because obviously she’s a lot older than they would have expected. Rereading the panel where the family reacts hits different when you know: the dumbstruck look on Roy’s face! Dinah’s comforting hand on his shoulder! Connor saying “Good form” because he is a PROUD UNCLE! And his little smile on the next page as he wrangles the guy she shot HE THINKS SHE IS SO COOL.

I truly feared that they were going to let her go so Roy’s line, “You threw your first ninja star when you were two years old,” stopped my heart. And then Roy’s speech, besides being heartbreaking, is full of so many great details. I love that he has a sweet tooth and Lian doesn’t. I love the panel of them watching Point Break. I love that they remembered his missing arm in the flashback panel of him mourning Lian.

And on that note, the line “I don’t care how you’re here”...sometimes I get frustrated by DC’s refusal to try to logic their mangled continuity back together  because it feels lazy to me, but here I think it was handled really elegantly. Lian was five and dead and now she’s not; Roy was missing an arm and then he wasn’t and then he was dead and now he’s not. They don’t know why, they’ve accepted that their lives are weird, and they’ve moved on. What’s important to me is that this comic sets out very clearly what is canon and what the characters remember experiencing (short answer: everything, because Roy clearly remembers both pre-Flashpoint and the New 52), because that tells me how to understand their relationships and their choices. I don’t care how they got here either, I just want to know what they’ve lived through.

God, the way he just goes to his knees and gives her all the space in the world. Trusting that she will make the decision that’s right for her, even if it’s one that hurts him. Offering his love on her terms. It’s so perfectly Roy and exactly what Lian needs in that moment.

AND THEN THEY HUG AND I SOBBED FOR TEN MINUTES. Lol @ Izaakse signing this page like “Yeah. You’re welcome.”

AND THEN A FAMILY GROUP HUG. I appreciate the acknowledgement that Lian and Cheshire interacted in Catwoman, because I was so frustrated that nothing came of that.

“They’ll never let our family be together.” This is such a smart move! If you only have 6 (now 12!) issues to bring back Ollie AND Lian AND Connor AND Mia AND (I hope) bring Cissie into the fold for the first time, giving all of the various deaths/disappearances/continuity hiccups one unified source is a great way to fit them all into one story.

And then: DYSTOPIAN OLLIE!!! Dystopian Ollie is always a good move! Dystopian Ollie wants you to use gender neutral threats! Dystopian Ollie has a chainsaw arrow! I love Dystopian Ollie.

ANYWAY THAT WAS A GOOD COMIC AND I WANT THE NEXT ISSUE IMMEDIATELY, THE END.

[marosina]

Band!Eren pt. 3-1 (Hometown: Lore Tour)

Modern AU, reader x Eren, famous!Eren, band!Eren (guitar+vocals)

Series warning: 🌶️

Part 1

💫 When you arrive in Shiganshina for the band’s hometown show, you can’t help but feel giddy. Eren’s early lyrics included references to the people, places, and things all around you—and now you get to see them for yourself.

💫 You probably could have just driven over on show day, seeing as you live only a couple of hours away. However, you’ve decided to make this a weekend trip so you have time to explore beforehand and rest afterward. After checking into your hotel, you head out with a map of the sights you want to see.

💫 You start with the large wall separating the city from the seafront, which is mentioned in a number of lyrics. As you stand on top of it, wind blowing through your hair, you feel inspired to write your own.

💫 Then, you visit the high school the band was born from. You’re sure to take a picture for your friends back home. You even take a picture with the sign out front that reads “Go Titans!”

💫 You can’t be 100% certain, as it was never confirmed by the man himself, but you’ve heard through the rumour mill that the coffee shop you’re approaching is the same one Eren used to frequent; the building where most of their first two albums were written.

💫 As you open the door to Sonny’s Beans you’re now at least 99% sure that the rumours are true. There he is, sitting at a table in the back with two familiar strangers: Armin and Mikasa, his childhood friends. You’ve seen them in the few photos from Eren’s pre-band days that fanpages circulate from time to time. Eren’s mostly hidden behind a plant but you’d recognize those hands anywhere.

💫 His “stalker” comment from a few weeks ago rings in your ears, so you do your best to act like he’s not there. Celebrities deserve privacy too, and the other patrons seem to be on the same page. No one bothers them and you don’t either.

💫 You order your drink and sit at the window bar with your notebook, scribbling down the words your earlier sightseeing inspired. They’re not much yet but the cozy atmosphere of the coffee shop fills you with the energy to sculpt and refine them. It’s easy to understand why Eren spent so much time here.

💫 By the time you finish your drink, you’ve got a verse and hook. You pack up to leave, but before you can make it too far out the door you hear that smooth, deep voice call your name.

💫 Armin and Mikasa study you closely as Eren closes the distance. He wasn’t expecting to run into you before the show, especially when he’d just been talking about you to his friends. Not that he lets you know that. This is strictly professional, after all.

💫 You’re a bit embarrassed to be caught on your band lore tour and he teases you about it. It’s a bad idea, but he offers to treat you to dinner that night in exchange for your promise to never confirm the location. He made a deal with the owners years ago to try and preserve the quiet and stable lifestyle they preferred.

💫 You may or may not feel like you’re going to explode from his invitation but you’re determined not to show it. You accept and joke that you’ll even make a post to throw off the trail if he throws in dessert. Eren grins and suggests one a few streets over that ‘really deserves more hype’.

💫 Armin and Mikasa exchange a glance just as Eren says he’ll message you the details within the next couple of hours. You watch them disappear around the corner, Eren waving his friends off as they pester him. Then it hits you.

💫 Eren Jaeger—the man you’ve spent way too much time and money idolizing over the last couple of years—wants to spend his time and money on you tonight.

Fun fact: one of the local high schools in my hometown called their sports teams the “Titans”! I once cosplayed Mikasa in their practice gear c:

Tagging: @katestrophes @jaegersdiary

Comment or message to be added to tag list <3

Part 2 | Part 3-2: TBA

Fanart

[wrenwinchester]

Thinking about the year between season 7 and 8, and the line “I fixed up the impala and just drove.” (Then he hit a dog but I’m not talking about that.)

The impala has been through a crap ton, and she was sitting in a storage locker for most of the year, then they send her through a sign and she definitely has damage on her undercarriage from how she landed. It’s not going to be an easy fix, and getting parts is probably going to be difficult actually scratch that, Bobby’s house may have burned down, but the salvage yard is still there and was left to the boys 100% so maybe not so difficult. But Sam would still have to get the car to Bobby’s old place, maybe he even stayed with Jody for a little bit, while working on the car.

Sam isn’t the most experienced with taking care of Baby. That’s Dean’s job, sure he showed Sam how to do touch ups and tune ups, but most of it, Sam wouldn’t know how to do, but there was no way he was going to let anyone else work on his brother’s baby. That’s not a choice, so he spent a couple months, maybe more, pulling pieces out, putting them back in, trying to match parts from other vehicles and finding ones that worked because it was all he had left of Dean, and it needed to be perfect.

Finally, after like 5-6 months, it’s done, she runs and drives, and she sounds as close as Sam remembered to what she was after Dean would modify, or fix something. (It really wasn’t all that close, but she runs and drives,) then, he spends another month driving around, he drives to Vegas for their annual Vegas week, checking every towns first motel in the yellow pages, just in case, along the way. He doesn’t stay in Vegas long, just long enough to play a round of Dean’s favorite game.

Finally, he ends up in Texas, and somehow, thinking about everyone he’s lost, he hits a dog. Up until this point, he’s been checking motels to see if anyone had checked in under the name Jim Rockford. This time, he checked in under the name. Dean could find him.

Sam did what he could. He even took on a few cases before Vegas, but it felt wrong without his brother by his side. (Of course it did, it always did.)

The dog didn’t do much damage to Baby, and the little it did, Sam had fixed within a week. (He’s grown to know Baby quite well, and understands what every noise she makes means. (Sometimes she whines as he starts her, and he just sighs and says, “I miss him too.”))now we’re at month 8, he’s been staying at this motel for a few weeks, working on maintaining the building so it’s safe, and that’s when he runs into Amelia once more after the dog barges in to her room. And they end up talking about loss and loneliness. And Sam feels seen for the first time since Dean died, (he’s still not sure he believes Dean is dead, but also he exploded right in front of him. It’s the easiest way to rationalize everything and stop him from starting another apocalypse to bring his brother back. Because believe me he considered it.) and he feels accepted and she doesn’t push about his past.

They buy a house 9 months after Dean’s death. Sam just wants to call his brother and tell him, but he wouldn’t get the message.

He meets her Dad month 10, and life is moving on. He has a job, and maybe he could have the normal life he always wanted. The one Dean wanted too. Maybe he could go back to college, and he starts looking into things.

Month 11 is when Amelia’s husband is back from the dead, he wasn’t ever actually dead, but it doesn’t matter to Sam. He’s been in her position before. A loved one coming back from the assumed grave is a big deal, not as big as a loved in coming back from an actual grave that you put them in yourself, but it’s enough.

Everything comes crashing back to reality. He starts looking for Dean again, but more so just looking for signs of him from his home with Amelia. Amelia who now has to decide between her husband, and the broken man she grew to love.

Then, a full year has gone by since Dean’s death. Three hundred sixty-six days (it was a leap year) without his older brother. Not really knowing what happened, not really sure he wants to find out, so he doesn’t ask questions, he doesn’t push, he doesn’t even ask about Kevin and tries not to think about him, even though he has nightmares about Kevin being stuck with Crowley, he can’t handle even the idea of anymore pain.

But then, he gets a call from Dean.

There’s not a doubt in his mind that it’s his brother, though maybe he should, and he leaves in the middle of the night. Yes he loved Amelia, but Dean is his brother, and nothing is more important than his brother. He leaves without a second thought, if his brother was alive, life wasn’t so topsy-turvy.

Dean wasn’t supposed to be the one that died first. He gave his life for Sam. Sam should have died in that abandoned town all those years ago, but Dean traded places. (Sam should probably consider the fact that Dean was supposed to die instead of their dad all those years ago, but he doesn’t. Dean wasn’t dead then, he was just mostly dead.)

Sam would be the one that died for real first. He had to be.

His relief upon seeing his brother’s face for the first time in a year could have collapsed him on the spot, he was truly alive, then guilt came crashing over him.

[thepastisalreadywritten]

Hachiko: The world's most loyal dog turns 100

2 July 2023

The Chinese tagline on the movie poster says it all: "I will wait for you, no matter how long it takes."

It tells the true story of Hachiko, the faithful dog that continued to wait for its master at a train station in Japan long after his death.

The cream white Akita Inu, born 100 years ago, has been memorialised in everything from books to movies to the cult science fiction sitcom Futurama.

And the Chinese iteration - the third after a Japanese version in 1987, and the Richard Gere-starrer in 2009 - is a hit at the box office.

There have been tales of other devoted hounds such as Greyfriars Bobby, but none with the global impact of Hachiko.

A bronze statue of him has stood outside Shibuya Station in Tokyo, where he waited in vain for a decade, since 1948.

The statue was first erected in 1934 before being recycled for the war effort during World War Two.

Japanese schoolchildren are taught the story of Chuken Hachiko - or loyal dog Hachiko - as an example of devotion and fidelity.

''Hachiko represents the ideal Japanese citizen with his unquestioning devotion," says Professor Christine Yano of the University of Hawaii - "loyal, reliable, obedient to a master, understanding, without relying upon rationality, their place in the larger scheme of things."

The story of Hachiko

Hachiko was born on 10 November 1923 in the city of Odate in Akita prefecture, the original home of Akitas.

A large-sized Japanese dog, the Akita is one of the country's oldest and most popular breeds.

Designated by the Japanese government as a national icon in 1931, they were once trained to hunt animals like wild boar and elk.

"Akita dogs are calm, sincere, intelligent, and brave [and] obedient to their masters," said Eietsu Sakuraba, author of an English language children's book about Hachiko.

"On the other hand, it also has a stubborn personality and is wary of anyone other than its master."

The year Hachiko was born, Hidesaburo Ueno, a renowned agricultural professor and a dog lover, asked a student to find him an Akita puppy.

After a gruelling train journey, the puppy arrived at the Ueno residence in Shibuya district on 15 January 1924, where it was initially thought dead.

According to Hachiko's biographer, Prof Mayumi Itoh, Ueno and his wife Yae nursed him back to health over the next six months.

Ueno named him Hachi, or eight in Japanese. Ko is an honorific bestowed by Ueno's students.

The long wait

Ueno took a train to work several times a week. He was accompanied to Shibuya station by his three dogs, including Hachiko. The trio would then wait there for his return in the evening.

On 21 May 1925, Ueno, then 53, died of a cerebral hemorrhage. Hachiko had been with him for just 16 months.

"While people were attending the wake, Hachi smelled Dr Ueno from the house and went inside the living room. He crawled under the coffin and refused to move," writes Prof Itoh.

Hachiko spent the next few months with different families outside Shibuya but eventually, in the summer of 1925, he ended up with Ueno's gardener Kikusaburo Kobayashi.

Having returned to the area where his late master lived, Hachiko soon resumed his daily commute to the station, rain or shine.

"In the evening, Hachi stood on four legs at the ticket gate and looked at each passenger as if he were looking for someone," writes Prof Itoh.

Station employees initially saw him as a nuisance. Yakitori vendors would pour water on him and little boys bullied and hit him.

However, he gained nationwide fame after Japanese daily Tokyo Asahi Shimbun wrote about him in October 1932.

The station received donations of food for Hachiko each day, while visitors came from far and wide to see him.

Poems and haikus were written about him. A fundraising event in 1934 to make a statue of him reportedly drew a crowd of 3,000.

Hachiko's eventual death on 8 March 1935 at the age of 11 made the front page of many newspapers. He was found on a street in Shibuya.

In March 2011, scientists finally settled the cause of death of Hachikō: the dog had both terminal cancer and a filaria infection.

There were also four yakitori skewers in Hachikō's stomach, but the skewers did not damage his stomach nor cause his death.

At his funeral, Buddhist monks offered prayers for him and dignitaries read eulogies. Thousands visited his statue in the following days.

In impoverished post-war Japan, a fundraising drive for a new statue of Hachiko even managed to raise 800,000 yen, an enormous sum at the time, worth about 4bn yen (£22m; $28m) today.

"In retrospect, I feel that he knew that Dr Ueno would not come back, but he kept waiting - Hachiko taught us the value of keeping faith in someone," wrote Takeshi Okamoto in a newspaper article in 1982.

As a high school student, he had seen Hachiko at the station daily.

Remembering Hachiko

Every year on 8 April, a memorial service for Hachiko is held outside Shibuya Station.

His statue is often decorated with scarves, Santa hats and, most recently, a surgical mask.

His mount is on display at the National Museum of Nature and Science in Tokyo.

Some of his remains are interred at the Aoyama Cemetery, alongside Ueno and Yae.

Statues of him have also been cast in Odate, Ueno's hometown Hisai, the University of Tokyo and Rhode Island, the American setting for the 2009 movie.

Odate also has a series of events lined up this year for his 100th birthday.

Will the world's most loyal dog still be celebrated a century from now? Prof Yano says yes because she believes the "heroism of Hachiko" is not defined by any particular period - rather it is timeless.

Mr Sakuraba is equally optimistic.

"Even 100 years from now, this unconditional, devoted love will remain unchanged, and the story of Hachiko will live on forever."

🤍🐕🤍

[tavina-writes]

Have you any suggestions for someone who has started recently (few months ago) to publish fics on ao3 and doesn't get a lot of hits/kudos? I feel a little down and insecure, and I don't know if it's my writing the problem or the fact that the pair is not the main and not liked much

Hi Nonny!

This is a difficult conflict to have with yourself, and I'm sure that like, you've seen all the posts about how like "you should be self indulgent! you should write for yourself! who cares about engagement!" and this both is and isn't true. But also even if you think it is true and you'd like to get some of that energy it's very difficult and for that sending you so many hugs. It is very normal to feel insecure about sharing something you've made, and I think writers of all levels of experience and "engagement" feel down about themselves like this in cycles.

idk if I'm qualified to say a ton on this topic, but I've seen lots of "unhealthy relationship to stats page" and could tell real stories about horrible things that have happened so I guess here goes nothing?

A few things to keep in mind:

what do you consider "not a lot" ? 10? 100? 1000? One of the major problems of focusing overtly on hits/kudos/comments/and other things you can't change is that inevitably if you achieve the "number of your dreams" you will....get a new number that you want. It will be bigger. Chasing this type of external numbers based validation to the exclusion of other stuff is very difficult because it is one of those sliding slope black holes to never being satisfied with what is currently going on. This is my primary thought on why focusing on stats isn't very good: it's very easy to get into a never ending cycle of never being happy.

as someone who's written for several years: we're coming up on the winter holidays, end of the semester, winter break type time period in many parts of the world but esp for northern hemisphere english speaking fandom, so if you're seeing a decrease in hits/kudos/comments/the feeling that someone out there is reading your work in general, this could play a big role. If you've only been publishing for the last few months the first time this happens can be really jarring! But it has nothing to do with the quality of your writing or if people are interested in reading and everything to do with brickspace taking up a lot of time right now. (I imagine this might also be true for Chinese speaking fandom around New Years, but I can't say since I don't engage there very often to notice trends.)

Depending on the fandom, (which, unless you, like me, are into Naruto which seems to thrive on niche AUs from now until forever), main pairings/fandom popular juggernauts will always get more people reading than a rarepair. That doesn't mean the people who write for rarepairs are doing a bad job or that writing for a rarepair isn't rewarding to the writer in other ways, but that may mean modulating expectations on like "how many people will click on my work?" and "how much feedback will I get?"

So overall, I feel like there's a combination of factors here for why you might be feeling down, but there are ways to help with this!

For one: talking about your writing and your work and what you're doing! This, I've found, is a great way to make friends. (also to anyone who says that this is obnoxious and attention seeking, this is the attention seeking webbed site, if you don't want attention why are you here????)

For two: locate friends and yell your thoughts at them <- I have found this to be 100% a mood picker upper when it comes to "am I doing a good job at writing?"

For three: find what makes you really happy about your own writing! This doesn't mean that you have to seek to improve your writing, but just, stuff that you enjoy, a line you really like, a relationship you enjoyed, a fic you thought was nice, and be kind to yourself about it.

Again, sending you hugs nonny! I hope some of this helps!

[andromedaexists]

The Death I Gave Him || Em X. Liu

★★★★★

TW: SELF HARM (ON PAGE, WARNED), SUICIDAL IDEATION, SUICIDE (PAST, MENTIONED), MAJOR + SIDE CHARACTER DEATH

I feel like I need to mention how this book was recommended to me

Now that we know this very relevant background: The Death I Gave Him is one of the most mind meltingly fucked up thing I've read in a while, and I've gotten into erotic horror as of late

It is a queer and sci-fi retelling of hamlet that managed to be even more fucked up than the original, something I didn't think possible. Did it hit the sci-fi mark? Yes absolutely as soon as Horatio was introduced that was a yes. Is it queer? 100% it is because idk how else to describe what happens with Hayden and Horatio. Is it Hamlet??? Absolutely it is Hamlet may not be present by name but good fucking lord is the story interwoven into the very fabric of this book.

This book is also very unique in it's presentation, which I fucking love omg. It starts with a prologue that's less of a prologue and more of an academic introduction into the rest of the book. You see, this book and the recounting of what happened that night in Elsinore Labs is a recreation by a student a hundred years later based on what remaining evidence they have of the events. This is really fucking cool!!! Please give me more books like this!!! Learning about the student and their motivations through footnotes in the book is so fucking awesome!! Seeing where they had evidence for what happened versus where they created a fictional account based on personality, probability, and remaining dialog…. Stunning. Truly.

I also quite loved the interspersing of mediums in this book. We have traditional fictionalized prose mixed in with excerpts from Felicia's article after the events mixed in with readings from Horatio's systems and message logs from Felicia's pager!

It's all just so brilliant.

I'm making the call here to add the spoiler warning because I want to get into the characters a bit, so just be warned [SPOILERS AHEAD]

So, as per Hamlet, the first thing to happen is the death of the King. This time, our King is Dr. Graham Lichfield. A renowned scientist and researcher working on the Sisyphus Formula.

His son is Hamlet, of course. He's known as Hayden in this book and we get to see his descent into madness mostly through other people's (or other AI's) eyes. He is a pathetic man with no spine, just the way Hamlet should be.

Hayden's Uncle is Charles, of course. He didn't work on research with Graham and Hayden, but he does run the labs more or less.

Then we have the security guard: Rasmussen. I think he's supposed to be a stand in for Rosencrantz & Gildenstern, but honestly I read Hamlet back in high school and though I watch it at least once a year (David Tennant is the best Hamlet, I will die on this hill), I don't really ever remember Rosencrantz & Gildenstern. So this is just an educated guess.

From here, we have the Xia's. Felicia Xia and her father, Paul Xia. They are security and they are our Ophelia and Polonius. The brother exists as well in Arthur Xia, however he is not physically in the building and does not show up until literally the last chapter.

That leaves one. Horatio. Also knows as the Elsinore Labs Operating System. He is the AI of the building that has slowly gained consciousness over Hayden's life. He is also intrinsically linked to Hayden after the man turns on his NeuralLink so we know a lot about what's going on in Hayden's head because that's where Horatio resides.

Of course another key player in Hamlet was his mother, and while she is present as a character, she is not physically in the building.

And why do I keep saying physically in the building? Well that's because after the death of Graham; Hayden, Charles, Rasmussen, Paul and Felicia Xia, and Horatio are locked into Elsinore Labs. That's right, this is a locked door thriller.

This book is everything to me, like I am genuinely just so…. god I can't even think of the words for it and I am writing this the day after I finished it!!!

I was on the edge of my seat the entire way through the book, especially when we get lines like these:

It was Hayden Lichfield who I remembered. Not because he was brilliant (though he was), but because he was afraid.

Hayden Lichfield was afraid of death, because he was afraid of failure, and he spent his whole life trying to reverse it.

Hayden was not like me, but he was afraid of the same things that I was, and his fear changed the world.

What we understand of Horatio is inextricably entangled in what we understand of Hayden.

I would haunt you very cautiously. Leave some vague messages alluding to my existential dread in your shower every morning. Nothing special.

The Sisyphus Formula wasn't enough. It was never enough.

Do you want to live because you want to live, or because you're afraid to die?

Then be afraid. I will take you afraid and alive over anything else.

He splits himself open, willing or not, digs fingers into himself, thinks maybe the edges of death are pressing in at the edges, maybe finally he will find repentance here at the end of all things.

Just because you've been a jackass doesn't mean you've messed everything up irrevocably. You'll have good days and shit days and eventually there'll just be days, you know?

I am feral for this book, I am foaming at the mouth. I need to be buried with this book when I die. This book is intrinsically a part of who I am not in the same way that The Teras Trials and Bloom are. It speaks to something in my very soul

Anyways! I think that's really all I can say on this book without writing a whole ass analysis of it (which I would gladly do if people wanted that), so I will leave it here!

[shinedowncharts]

Shinedown—“Threat to Survival” 9 Year Retrospective/Review

I have often wondered how qualified I am to talk about Shinedown in any sort of quasi-objective or professional manner. I am a super-fan who is hyper-aware of every move the band publicly makes, so much so that I dedicated a social media page to it. Is there any way in which I could give Shinedown fair criticism, should they ever need it? This thought plagued me as I prepared to revisit Threat to Survival, the band’s fifth studio album, in the form of a written review. I have such positive memories and affiliations with this record, and I could not wait to share how this record changed the course of the band’s career; however, Active Rock is sorely lacking critical music reviews on an elevated level. There is a level of buzz-wording and anti-radio sentiment that plagues rock journalism to this day and makes it overall non-interesting.

Where to begin?

“Asking For It,” the blistering opening track is a thrilling first look into the record that hits the listener with such speed and dopamine that the content and purpose of the song cannot be fully processed until the track is over. What seems to be and lyrically functions as a warning call to those who use position and authority to spit on the little guy who may just fight back later, two other things are going on here.

First, the album is said by the band in multiple interviews at the time of the record to be eleven different scenarios of life and death contemplations and contradictions, serving as a stark opposition to optimistic, tide-turning Amaryllis that put a bookend in Mainstream/Active Rock crossing into popular culture (Which is, for the most part, continuing to this day, twelve years later). “Asking” is maddening, and it demonstrates a shift in writing that Shinedown was inching closer to with Amaryllis: Instead of writing about personal experiences through a 100% first-person perspective with personal pronouns like “I,” some of it is rebranded as “you,” addressing the audience as if there is a nugget of advice to be mined and the experience is shared, or even a hypothetical. When describing the songs in interviews, the word “you” was used quite often. Whether or not this style of writing is better is anyone’s judgment.

Second, there are a variety of producers on this record—an experiment that I am thankful for but am glad is no longer in practice for the band, truth be told—and Dave Bassett, longtime co-writer of Brent’s who still works with the band to this day, serves up the best production on the whole album. Dave was able to pull out other tracks like “Thick as Thieves,” “Misfits,” and “Outcast,” just to name a few, so he automatically gets my blessing.

Speaking of “Outcast,” it is my turn to be the outcast because the album does not hit its stride until the fourth track comes along. The preceding tracks were the two singles that defined the era on radio stations and concert setlists, “Cut the Cord” and “State of My Head,” and I have never fully identified with either. I find nothing inherently wrong with these tracks, but there is a hint of Shinedown trying to do something quintessentially Shinedown in 2015 after Active Rock was still reeling from its swift rejection from mainstream pop radio and the streaming era’s complete lack of attention to it. Eric Bass got to try out his production hand for the second time on a major single with “Cord,” which is why this song was chosen as a lead single; yes, it would do well on radio and thematically set the tone, but it would allow for feedback and focus on Bass production. Pete Nappi tried his hand on “State of My Head,” the only song he appears to have produced for Shinedown. “Outcast” gives us a truly unique riff that could blow a car stereo out, a different sound structure than anyone was doing—and is still doing—on the radio, and allowed for Shinedown to flex their muscles vocally, as a low, rumbly cadence switches dramatically between the verses and the pre-chorus to a soaring belt from Smith, who never disappoints. The projection of this song is to announce the comeback of the band that breaks Mainstream Rock records at least three times a year and has enough potential to lead us into the record cycle with as much attitude and feet-to-the-fire lyricism as could offer.

If you want to talk about feet-to-the-fire lyricism, let us visit “How Did You Love,” the final single from the album. Scott Stevens gets to help set up himself on this track as the producer powerhouse he has developed into today. This is in no small part to this track, and he now gets to court artists such as Halestorm, Daughtry, Dorothy, and Scott Stapp. The record has his signature build and structure that I have become all too familiar with in the last year, but it was developed and tested in its adolescence on this track, as well as “Dangerous,” and who could say anything negative about either one of these songs? They are perfect, I have no complaints about either one. I think “Love” in particular set the tone for some increased contemplation on the future, life, and death which is certainly not unheard of in rock music but was lyrically lackluster at the time.

Skipping ahead to “Dangerous,” this song is referenced as a moment where Smith’s ex-girlfriend told him he would be much more “dangerous” if he were to put down the bottle and put his best foot forward in his personal life, let alone the music. He describes this moment as an awakening, and I can hear it in his voice. The passion in his voice comes from a man who truly experienced the awakening he desperately searched for decades and finally found, but not just found, earned. The vocal performance and personal connection are truly what makes the song great. While the instrumentals are wonderful, the selling point is the punch, the empowerment, and the catharsis that Smith brings to the table.

“Thick as Thieves” and “Misfits” are two pieces of the same puzzle and are the two most riveting songs this record has to offer. Reflecting on personal relationships in Smith’s life, namely his first love from back in the day on the latter track, there is a level of orchestration that has only been challenged by “BRILLIANT” and earlier single “The Crow and the Butterfly” to bring a grown man to his knees…That would be me. The longing in the vocals and lyricism on both tracks illustrates that for as glorious as reminiscing on the glory days with glorious people is, those people are gone, and so are the times when those memories are made. With the hope that you feel on “Misfits” and “Thieves,” it is painstakingly obvious in the delivery that those people are never coming back.

With a semi-comprehensive understanding of the standout tracks, the album can be viewed with consideration of quality and cohesion. The quality of the record is there, no question at all. The first two singles blend into the background, in my opinion (Clearly nobody elses, as they both went #1), but are in no way a hindrance, and the only real dud is “Oblivion” with some promising instrumentation and vocal melodies, but drones on way too long and causes a bit of a slog in the middle of the record. I am crying, screaming, dancing, and smiling throughout the whole record, and the songs are properly dispersed where the emotional balance is even throughout. Cohesion is where I must praise the album again: I can trace an emotion that would elicit a fight or flight response on every song, and I do not even have to listen to an interview to figure it out.

What is most valuable to me about this record is not this record; if there had not been a slew of new producers all on the same record, a single produced by Eric Bass, and an assigned theme to write to and structure the tracklist after, we would not have the boldest and best artistic statement the band has ever made, ATTENTION ATTENTION. While I do not at all want to undermine the work done on this record and the great material, it is a transitional moment in their career. Had Shinedown followed up this album with a selection of songs following a similarish thematic structure and the same or similar selection of producers, the creative output would have dwindled very quickly. This could be said for any record that repeats production teams, but Rob Cavallo was shared across two records. While this record was a beautiful listen and never fails to grab my attention, I remember it as a last hurrah; a goodbye to songs produced by high-class, hired help and engineered for an 11-12 track run of smash radio hits, to then usher in a wave of self-produced, painstakingly personal, and foaming at the mouth with passion concept records that took Shinedown from Active Rock darlings to a truly one of a kind band that can execute a vision with precision and excellence on all cylinders. What better legacy could an album like Threat to Survival ask for?