#man was grieving

[wrenwinchester]

Thinking about the year between season 7 and 8, and the line “I fixed up the impala and just drove.” (Then he hit a dog but I’m not talking about that.)

The impala has been through a crap ton, and she was sitting in a storage locker for most of the year, then they send her through a sign and she definitely has damage on her undercarriage from how she landed. It’s not going to be an easy fix, and getting parts is probably going to be difficult actually scratch that, Bobby’s house may have burned down, but the salvage yard is still there and was left to the boys 100% so maybe not so difficult. But Sam would still have to get the car to Bobby’s old place, maybe he even stayed with Jody for a little bit, while working on the car.

Sam isn’t the most experienced with taking care of Baby. That’s Dean’s job, sure he showed Sam how to do touch ups and tune ups, but most of it, Sam wouldn’t know how to do, but there was no way he was going to let anyone else work on his brother’s baby. That’s not a choice, so he spent a couple months, maybe more, pulling pieces out, putting them back in, trying to match parts from other vehicles and finding ones that worked because it was all he had left of Dean, and it needed to be perfect.

Finally, after like 5-6 months, it’s done, she runs and drives, and she sounds as close as Sam remembered to what she was after Dean would modify, or fix something. (It really wasn’t all that close, but she runs and drives,) then, he spends another month driving around, he drives to Vegas for their annual Vegas week, checking every towns first motel in the yellow pages, just in case, along the way. He doesn’t stay in Vegas long, just long enough to play a round of Dean’s favorite game.

Finally, he ends up in Texas, and somehow, thinking about everyone he’s lost, he hits a dog. Up until this point, he’s been checking motels to see if anyone had checked in under the name Jim Rockford. This time, he checked in under the name. Dean could find him.

Sam did what he could. He even took on a few cases before Vegas, but it felt wrong without his brother by his side. (Of course it did, it always did.)

The dog didn’t do much damage to Baby, and the little it did, Sam had fixed within a week. (He’s grown to know Baby quite well, and understands what every noise she makes means. (Sometimes she whines as he starts her, and he just sighs and says, “I miss him too.”))now we’re at month 8, he’s been staying at this motel for a few weeks, working on maintaining the building so it’s safe, and that’s when he runs into Amelia once more after the dog barges in to her room. And they end up talking about loss and loneliness. And Sam feels seen for the first time since Dean died, (he’s still not sure he believes Dean is dead, but also he exploded right in front of him. It’s the easiest way to rationalize everything and stop him from starting another apocalypse to bring his brother back. Because believe me he considered it.) and he feels accepted and she doesn’t push about his past.

They buy a house 9 months after Dean’s death. Sam just wants to call his brother and tell him, but he wouldn’t get the message.

He meets her Dad month 10, and life is moving on. He has a job, and maybe he could have the normal life he always wanted. The one Dean wanted too. Maybe he could go back to college, and he starts looking into things.

Month 11 is when Amelia’s husband is back from the dead, he wasn’t ever actually dead, but it doesn’t matter to Sam. He’s been in her position before. A loved one coming back from the assumed grave is a big deal, not as big as a loved in coming back from an actual grave that you put them in yourself, but it’s enough.

Everything comes crashing back to reality. He starts looking for Dean again, but more so just looking for signs of him from his home with Amelia. Amelia who now has to decide between her husband, and the broken man she grew to love.

Then, a full year has gone by since Dean’s death. Three hundred sixty-six days (it was a leap year) without his older brother. Not really knowing what happened, not really sure he wants to find out, so he doesn’t ask questions, he doesn’t push, he doesn’t even ask about Kevin and tries not to think about him, even though he has nightmares about Kevin being stuck with Crowley, he can’t handle even the idea of anymore pain.

But then, he gets a call from Dean.

There’s not a doubt in his mind that it’s his brother, though maybe he should, and he leaves in the middle of the night. Yes he loved Amelia, but Dean is his brother, and nothing is more important than his brother. He leaves without a second thought, if his brother was alive, life wasn’t so topsy-turvy.

Dean wasn’t supposed to be the one that died first. He gave his life for Sam. Sam should have died in that abandoned town all those years ago, but Dean traded places. (Sam should probably consider the fact that Dean was supposed to die instead of their dad all those years ago, but he doesn’t. Dean wasn’t dead then, he was just mostly dead.)

Sam would be the one that died for real first. He had to be.

His relief upon seeing his brother’s face for the first time in a year could have collapsed him on the spot, he was truly alive, then guilt came crashing over him.

[backjustforberena]

I wonder if any of them knew it was all for her.

[mapipipi]

otto and daemon are the real widows of viserys

[divineandmajesticinone]

4 MINUTES (2024) I 1.03 "I didn't think you were like this. Like what? Like this..."

[joy-girl]

Naruto 425 // Kakashi meets Sakumo in the after life

[topaz-mutiny]

God.

When Liam created a grieving widower he went all in on being a grieving widower.

Orym misses his husband Will so much. He cares so much for him and because of it he is crushingly lonely at night, even when being spooned by his best friends.

But time doesn't sit still for the living. So years go by for the widower. And he meets someone who brushes upon some feelings that he had held for only his husband for years.

"I really miss Dorian and sometimes I think that's okay and sometimes I think it isn't"

The feelings exist, it's undeniable, and sometimes he feels indulgent. But because those feelings are so wrapped up with Will, wouldn't it, in Orym's eyes, feel like a betrayal?

So he feels those feelings and then guilt trips himself over it.

[mortysmith]

first time meeting

[jjnostredame]

so please don't ever say that it should have been you

@loudclan-clangen

i've been feeling um. crazy? crazy. about them since moon 29 dropped. no one has suffered more than them. i'm on my hands and knees begging the clangen rng to be kind to them bc i cant take this anymore. i needed to draw these two grieving so bad... my survivors :(

loudclan's relationship to starclan is so vague, unstable, and strange and it breaks my heart to think about how seperated and far away they must feel from their family right now. i hope somewhere in the dark of the healers' den they'll find a way to ease each other's pain.

i've really been loving loudclan so far :') i ended up doing the initial sketch for this at work bc i couldnt stop thinking about them.

[introspectivememories]

sorry but do you ever think about the fact that the bernard we have today is a direct amalgamation of everything that happened in his past and i know that sound like such an obvious statement to say but it actually kills me to know that you can draw a direct line from who he is today all the way back to that sixteen year old boy who watched his best friend bleed out. like it is the defining moment in his life. it fundamentally shaped who he is and the person he's become. he is the bernard we know and love not despite the grieves shooting but because of it. because the gangs all got together and shot up his school. because tim walked out of that room with nothing but a baseball bat. because his darla got shot. because he watched her gasp and cry as she died. because he watched the blood coagulate around the wound. because he sat there and held her hand as her life drained out of her. because he walked into school that day with a joke he knew would make her laugh and her nose would scrunch up and she'd snort a little and tim would roll his eyes at him and call him ridiculous and instead he walked out with a bloody white shirt, blood under his fingernails, and two friends less. because, even now, almost half a decade out from the shooting, he thinks that if he closes his eyes, he will always be that stupid, scared little sixteen year old, holding the cooling body of dead best friend.

[tenrose]

[slavhew]

Posting my thoughts here too.

PPS; there is something about BGD still looking the same while jake has so clearly changed in appearance. I don't have anything clever to add, except that that stupid fingerless-gloved hand is so quintessentially Dirk, it looks like an aesthetic choice that belongs to a man much younger than Jake. Because it does. Because Dirk stopped, while Jake had to keep going.

[ohprcr]

[octopath traveler 2 spoilers]

if the gods are ever so merciful, then why did they take everything from me?

[templegate]

A moment of vulnerability

[bangtanjjks]

I have this irrational fear that the only reason why Lucien is so good as a character is because Sarah leaves him alone. Because I saw what happened with her male leads (Tamlin, Rhys, Cass) and how they went from characters with a lot of potential (ACOTAR Tam and Rhys, ACOWAR Cass, I am a firm believer that ACOWAR Cass would sucker punch ACOSF Cass for his appalling behavior towards Nes) to the hot mess we have now.

I am scared shitless that the reason why my baby Luci is so good is by accident. That because Sarah didn't focus on him since he's not the main "love interest" is precisely why HE'S SO GOOD AS A CHARACTER. And that's why I'm kinda dreading the next book (if it's really going to be about Elain because that means Lucien is bound to be showing up a lot in it no matter what she chose to do with the mating bond).

God pls protect my man Lucien Vanserra. Sarah have a track record of ruining her own male lead (for me!!! They're kinda ruined for me) and I can't have that happening again. THRICE IS ENOUGH HEARTBREAK FOR ME

[vertigoartgore]

Jim Starlin's The Death of Captain Marvel Trade Paperback Cover (1994).

[lvndrlondonfog]

Okay I always love the good angsty “devastated Crowley after the fall” ideas, but I feel like the majority of them surround him being depressed and sad- which was absolutely a part of it, but I feel like a lot of people miss the idea of Crowley being FURIOUS after the Fall. Raging against the injustice of it all; it was only a few questions! How could the very beings he considered brothers and friends do this to him? How could God do this to him? Not just to take away his creations but the very essence of what he was made for? Sure, he’d made a mistake, but nothing so much as to lose everything.

A lot of the other demons are still bitter, and mean, and evil to this day after the Fall; so why would Crowley initially be any different? Even now, despite being always inherently nice (even if he won’t admit it,) another one of Crowley’s core personality traits is that he has a rather short fuse and large explosions of anger and frustration. While he finds ways to vent and manage it throughout the years (ex. The plants,) his immediate reaction being anger is definitely something that is just instinctually there.

But just; freshly-fallen Crowley having to rediscover balance and humanity while everything around him tried to argue that he should let these feelings rule everything and that there was no hope, redemption, or goodness left for him. For the first time since Falling, stepping foot onto Earth in Eden and feeling fresh wind for the first time, seeing the sun (a star, even if it wasn’t on elf his favorites,) being shown kindness by an angel, the very kind of being he’d been encouraged to hate; finally having to stop his spiral of rage and look around for a moment and maybe even begin to accept things.