#im talking from the perspective of the fact he is a grieving man

[ziamln]

It’s wild seeing some of these clueless tweets like:

"This isn’t fair; we waited so long."

"It’s Liam’s fault."

"They weren’t even close."

Honestly, it’s unreal how stupid some people can be. Zayn’s taking time for himself and putting his mental health first, and that’s exactly what he should be doing. Loss is heavy, and he deserves patience and support while he deals with it.

If Zayn were to cancel the tour indefinitely and disappear for a year, I would support him because loss is no joke- it's a lot to deal with and he deserves compassion during this time not people spewing all sorts of bile.

It's a shame some of his so-called fans are behaving like such entitled assholes during such a difficult time for their supposed fave.

Some of you really dont deserve shit.

[h4venpha]

songs that make me think of trimax vashwood and why

MAJOR TRIMAX SPOILERS !!

like im serious please do not read if you haven’t finished the entire manga

oceans & engines by NIKI

- i saw a post on twt talking about where at some point in vashs immortal life, he starts to forget wolfwood. he begins to forget what his voice sounded like and how his hands used to feel in his.

- and instead he misses him more than anything. he misses the thought of him. and it hurts so badly that he cannot remember the only one he loves.

- oceans & engines is vash's last stage of grief: acceptance.

- “how is it now that somehow you're a stranger? you were mine just yesterday": this represents how regardless of vash's immortality and the decades he has lived after wolfwoods death, he still finds himself living the days he did with wolfwood. thats where he feels he truly belongs. hes finally caught up with the fact that its been years after his death and hes realizing that wolfwood is just a stranger to him again

- “i know ill be alright, some day ill be fine, but just not tonight.”: vash’s final push, a swear to himself that he’ll get over it and he’ll drop it for good. that this night will be the last night he grieves wolfwood. he knows that at some point he may forget everything about him but his name. too many years meeting too many faces and he can barely form wolfwoods in his mind. and hes accepting it.

- “this is the last falsetto, ill ever sing to you, my great lost love.”: his great lost love, what better wording for him and wolfwood!

welcome and goodbye by Dream, Ivory

- this song because of the unspoken mutual understanding of each others motives and wants/needs. so honestly this song can be from both perspectives.

- “thats the reason im afraid, youre the thoughts that cant be tamed.”: no matter what either of them do, its so very obvious of the vulnerability and understanding they share. even if they bicker so often (as seen in the manga), they cannot ignore the bond they share.

- like how is it that this man knows these things about me? how is it he knows exactly how i will act? that somehow hes the one who knows everything about me with ease?

- “and im trying to be sane, and im trying to be sane.”: this line is more vash imo. at the end after he kills legato, when hes talking about “you[wolfwood] died for him[livio], i couldnt let that go to waste”. this line and what he said shows how even in death, wolfwood has such an affect on him

- how vash went against his insanely stubborn, strict morals because of wolfwood

pistol by Cigarettes After Sex

- post trimax vash to deceased wolfwood

- “and ill waste my time, til you lift me off the floor and love me again”: vash talking about how he’ll waste the years of his immortal life waiting for wolfwood to come back to him. oh he knows its impossible, but he can’t help but hope, hope that somehow wolfwood will find his way back to him

- he knows wolfwood won’t come back? yet he still waits, he waits and waits for all of eternity for him because he doesnt know what else to do

- “i know if i saw you, and we kissed just once; you could be happy, maybe you’d come back”: hes oh so desperate. vash who only realized the depth of his feelings for wolfwood as ww was dying. he cursed himself day and night that he never got the chance to kiss him at least once

- maybe if he kissed him or said something he wouldnt have died, its silly to say but hes so so desperate.

- he wants just one more chance to see wolfwood, to feel him and kiss him, maybe then he would decide to come back to him.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Danganronpa 3: Future arc, episode 2

Thonks.

Soo after that fun episode, we are back to the killing game.

Fun.

I called it!

I knew Munakata was gonna Makoto for all of this. Even though it is not his fault.

Though he's definitely gonna blame himself now.

I mean I get it.

Munakata is grieving and of course you're gonna lash out at Makoto.

Because from his and everyone else's perspective he's the likely culprit.

He's already betrayed you once, Monokuma called him by name and this all happens when Makoto is being arrested.

But than, if Makoto is the mastermind why would he put himself and his friends in this?

To kill you guys? But than why not just kill you with the gas earlier and escape.

... Wasn't expecting him to tell Makoto to straight up kill himself.

Greif or not, what the fuck Munakata.

... Also how the fuck would that accomplish anything?

If you truly believe Makoto is on their side, if he kills himself especially on the basis that you were the one to make him do it... You're just gonna enrage them.

It's fucked and it's stupid.

Though now I'm sure he's gonna be like fine, I'll kill you myself.

... Yeah Chisa I don't think we can give him a chance, sorry.

Also Makoto in black and Munakata in white, we love to see it, visual oppositions.

The bracelets are dangerous.

I thought maybe they would be explosives but apparently they just inject you with death.

So that's fun.

And one person "the attacker" will be fine and can kill one person.

That person's a traitor... And Makoto is the traitor so more reasons against him.

"Why don't you gang up on someone you don't like and pray their the attacker."

Insert all the sprites surrounding and killing Makoto

.. What is this, the 5th trial?

So Makoto's fucked until they can prove who the real one is.

And omtop of that there's a "forbidden action" Something you can't do at all.

Or you die.

Man theres a lot to this one.

Given Makoto's luck, he's gonna get something bad isn't he?

Asahina, girl I love you but why are you acting like you haven't done this before.

And it's being televised...

Fuck I hope Komaru doesn't have to watch this... Again.

... And Usami is already here?

And apparently the avatar of Miaya, the ultimate therapist.

Who was apparently is one of the top developers for the neo world program.

Aka the simulator the Remnants went into.

Cool.

Though we all know this isn't gonna work, Usami can't beat Monokuma that's a fact.

Aaand Monomi is back.

Makoto: We need to work together.

Munakata: I couldn't agree more.

...You mean work together to kill Makoto don't u?

Because I don't believe you'd wanna work together with him.

I get why everyone's like find the traitor and kill them.

But Makoto being against that is gonna cause a rift, especially because their already is one and it makes him more suspicious.

... Also, who was the traitor in the first game?

And what happened to her because of all the infighting?

I doubt Makoto or Asahina especially want another Sakura situation happening.

"We can restrain them."

"Yeah, with your Super High School Level Luck, big shot .

Juzo...that's not how insults work.

"I'm not as easy to manipulate as Junko Enoshima."

WHAT?! 🤣Im sorry what???

There are many, MANY words to describe the chaotic mess of a human being that was Junko fucking Enoshima.

Easy to manipulate, are not those words.

I'm sorry... have you met, Junko?

In what world, is she easy to manipulate!??

Did you even watch the first game?

And he just hit Ryota... Fuck this guy man.

Talking about being in a war zone when he's acting like the big shot high-school bully.

I get your friend is dead and that's upsetting but let's be real my dude you'd be the asshole here either way.

There's no need for any of this.

This is what Monkuma wants and your playing into his hands.

There's always a big tough guy who has to be the asshole, to show he's strong when he's just as scared as everyone else.

Picking on people weaker than you doesn't make you tough, it makes you pathetic.

.... And because of your actions you've killed Ruruka because his forbidden action was "witnessing violence by participants."

Way to go, tough guy.

No one wants to share their forbidden action.

It's the "embarrassing memories" and the motive videos all over again.

And we all know how those ended.

Oh.. we're gonna just vote the person out straight away? With no evidence or anything?

Sure because that's a good idea? Munakata you are supposed to be smarter than this.

And it's not anonymous either... You're just creating tension.

I'll say it, the high schoolers handed this better than you guys.

He's totally gonna vote Makoto isn't he?

... Yup.

I can't imagine having such a disregard for human life that you're mentality is to kill everyone till you find the culprit.

Funnily enough, mass murder is not the answer.

Munakata saying Makoto understands that that the Remnants nerd to be eliminated at any cost.

... Like he didn't just go against that entirely.

Chisa, I know you're dead but you deserved better friends.

Gozu is officially my favourite member.

Dude shattered Juzo's knife with his bare hands.

Giving Sakura and Nekomaru vibes, the badass with a heart of gold.

And gas in the room, go go gooo.

... And Makoto is forbidden to run... Fucking hell.

Asahina got them muscles because she just piggybacks him away.

Concerned that Kyoko stayed behind.

The director of Hope's Peak telling someone violence isn't the answer.

Now I've heard it all.

Also he might not be Kirigiri but he giving them vibes.

Gozu continues to be the best person ever. Fighting Munakata one on one in the hallway.

Man we've got the ultimate wrestler vs the ultimate student council member.

I tell ya, fight of the century.

I'm sorry I can't take Munakata's talent seriously he sounds like the less cool version of Ishimaru.

Also Munakata your spitting bullshit.

How does killing, especially a person others care about stop despair?

That's like the textbook guide to causinh despair.

That's why the killing game happened and is happening now...Tf you on my dude?

Most unrealistic part of this is the future foundation lasting this long.

Annnd the floors caved in.

Makoto shutting the door the moment before Munakata threw his his knife.

And having Gozu in his side and carrying him.

Nice to see Makoto having some good luck here.

Even if... Yeah.

Times running on the bracelets.

I love the conversation between Asahina and Makoto. Telling her she's not alone, he and Kyoko are here.

They didn't know each other last time.

Now, they are a team.

And that, that's hope.

Plain and simple, it's knowing in your darkest hours you have something to hold onto to keep you going.

They might be in the worse situation on earth, again but they aren't alone this time.

They didn't have that before, not with each other.

It's something that the previous survivors are all banding together.

And the Future foundation members who have, because of the memory wipe, know each other longer.

And they have turned on each other.

Their split up, divided.

For an organisation built on the future, on hope.

They have none.

Not in each other, nor themselves.

I love Gozu adding into the conversation, remarking that Makoto was exactly the person he saw on the screen.

Because unlike Juzo's stupid ass, Gozu saw the killing game.

He saw that Makoto never gave up. Despite everything, he clung to that hope and inspired others.

It meant something to people, it changed lives.

Also him telling Makoto not to modest over his contribution, love this guy.

I love seeing the people who genuinely believe in Hope, who genuinely care for each other.

And than you have people like Munakata and Juzo who are just out for revenge and kill whoever disagrees with them.

I know Juzo says he's doing it for revenge but I don't believe him.

I believe Chisa's murder hurts him, but even if she hadn't died.

I can't see him being in this situation and not acting the way he is now.

Feels like an excuse, a justification to bring about his own perverse justice on whoever he wants.

And either way Chisa wouldn't be happy with either of them.

Makoto I love you but you're luck is more unhinged and complex than Nagito's.

It's not the best thing to rely on.

Times up.

I love how this just became the most dangerous game of Mafia.

.... NO

NO NO NO NO

FUCK THIS.

FUCK THIS OH FUCK NOOOO

ASAHINA 😭!!!

And the bloods literally on Makoto's hand so he looks the most sus.

What is this the first trial?

AHHHHHH

His face, oh Makoto... God this is Sayaka in the shower all over again.

They were just talking.

I HATE IT

I HATE IT HERE.

AHHHHHHHHH

[akampana]

Diarturia for the ask game?

Ship It

What made you ship it?

THE ENTIRE FATE ZERO. The moment their eyes first locked when she answered his challenge, gods the chemistry was bloody tangible. Every statement had a witty retort, every confrontation had an answer. Their rapport was the best in the anime, that come episode 16 when we’re robbed of it so suddenly you can feel the hole he left. 

What are your favorite things about the ship?

There is so much out there to love. I don’t even know where to start. But here’s a few.

But let’s be real. Fate Zero was built around Kiritsugu but also Arturia. Diarmuid was the only Servant who ever shared in her ideals. He was her one “ally”, and ironically an enemy. They were always more alike than they were different, able to understand each other just by crossing blades and the slightest exchange of words. Everyone else was against her. Caster dismissed her in favor of his delusions. Iskandar refused to recognize her crown. Her own Master shat on chivalry in the worst way possible. And then there’s Diarmuid, who from her point of view, must have been one of the few things that felt right in that world.

The fact that you can flip that previous argument into Diarmuid’s perspective. The man was reliving his own hell all over again, and she was his one ray of sunshine. He only ever smiles when she’s around. And he even says as much! “Saber...Your pure, unclouded fighting spirit is the only thing that still calms my heart.” OOOOhhhh that really hit so hard.

He says her real name. “Arturia”. It’s just once, I think, but damn I latched onto that. 

Their rivalry. Yes. Good stuff. MMMMM.

“I..I am glad to have met you.”

There are a lot of moments that other glorious Diarturia fans have shared before (like the Excalibur scene where you just know he’s in love), but then there’s THIS SCENE WHICH I DONT THINK PEOPLE TALK ABOUT ENOUGH

LOOK AT THIS SCENE. Just...look. That’s his blood. After she argues with Kiritsugu, she grieves for just one tiny moment, then begins to lose the “Master” that actually gave a damn about her. 

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don’t think it would be all smooth sailing for them if they ever got together. Even in Chaldea, I think they’d need...time. A lot of it. 

THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS HNGNGNGNG THIS AINT EVEN HALF OF THE FEELS I HAVE FOR DIARTURIA BUT I HOPE ITS ENOUGH FOR THE ASK. brb im gonna go right back to watching fz for the nth time and crying about it again ;_;

[lilacandladybugs]

hey since youre talking about christianity, i was wondering if you could answer a question ive been curious about. if god cares about people and if jesus died for our sins, then why does hell exist? and if god cares about us then why did he let so much bad stuff happened in his name, and even cause it, like with the noah’s arch story?

sorry if any of this is wrong ive never read the bible, but ive had bad experiences with christianity in the past and the way you talk about it seems much nicer than the way i know it

I don’t think I can answer this question in a way that doesn’t come across as pretentious or like I’m asking for an argument or just being straight up unsatisfying. But I just am going to try anyway because i'm hoping that maybe this will be comforting or helpful to someone. I’m sorry if this is offensive I am really trying my best, please take this all in the best possible way and be gracious with me 

The thing about this ask is that it’s actually a bunch of different questions, and since each of them individually is really hard to answer so I’m going to narrow it down to just one ( im sorry ;-; ) . The one I’ve thought about the most is “Why does God let bad things happen if he loves us?”

When this question first really occurred to me, I was already a believer. So I was already pretty convinced that God exists logically, from the perspective of history, philosophy, science, and my personal experience. I believed in the /existence/ of the God who is represented in the scriptures. (I doubt anyone wants it but I can give you a list of resources if you want to look into any of that.) The struggle for me was whether or not all that evidence held true in the face of this moral dilemma; the problem of evil in the presence of a loving God.

But I just couldn’t turn my back on the concept of a moral grounding in God. I had a philosophy professor tell me that people are mortal and so we shouldn’t grieve them like they’re immortal, that grief is a choice, and that trauma is a choice. I respected her so much, but I just couldn’t accept that. There’s nothing more unsettling to me than suggesting that cruelty and death and suffering are only wrong because you think they are, and not because they’re violating sacred ancient laws. My friends dying, people hurting me, that isn’t just in my head. It’s /real/. They’re really dead, and it really matters. People really did something wrong when they hurt me, and it isn’t my fault for being hurt. It’s their fault for being cruel. And their cruelty is objectively morally wrong.

I realized that if I became an atheist I would have to accept the fact that there isn’t /objectively/ any difference between right and wrong. There isn’t any theoretical “right way” that the world should be. But to me, there is a right way it should be. There is a right way and it was lost because of sin.

It was I guess comforting that Christianity provided the premises I needed to ask a question like this. Evil exists. And love exists. So how can God exist? What a comforting question, in a way. To get to grieve, to be angry, to wonder what’s going on, to want things to be different. It was validating i guess

Don’t get me wrong i was FURIOUS i was so angry. I was so angry and so conflicted I kind of thought I might just like rip apart at my seams but I just felt caught between a rock and a hard place to be either abandoned by God or to not even be able to think about my experiences in a way that felt coherent.

He showed up though. I remember swearing at him, and laying up at night thinking he wasn’t there, I told him I wouldn’t have to have trauma if he would’ve stepped in, that my friends wouldn’t be dead, that he let it happen to me, that he just /witnessed/ it. And man idk he just showed up. He showed up every time. I almost walked away like five times that summer. And every time he sent someone, there was always someone that showed up and talked to me like out of nowhere. Or music, or scripture, or something someone said in passing. 

The night that it was really bad was when I realized that the only person who could save me was God and I cried out to him, and I just idk I’ve never been so desperate. I went to church the next day against my will and the sermon felt like it was written for me specifically. I cried through the whole thing.

If God is goodness, then how can I say he isn’t with me and around me constantly? In the sunrise and sunset, in the stars, in flowers, and in kind words. In sermons. In friends and family. In all the coincidences that stopped me from becoming an atheist, all of the answered prayers and the impossibilities. That’s why my side blog is called @in-the-whisper. Because I felt him there, even though it hurt, he was with me in the quiet and in the silence, in his whisper in a thousand different ways.

I was posed this question by someone who was there for me in one of those moments where I almost walked away from God, “Is sufficiency abundant?” I guess I thought it was. Where was God? In the peace that surpasses understanding. In the knowledge that everything is finished, that he died for us, that he didn’t abandon us. That whatever terrible things happen, he was willing to take all of the consequences for that onto himself in the person of Jesus. That one day he will set things right, even though it isn’t right right now. 

It comes down to the Gospel (good news, core story of the Christian faith); humanity actively chose to walk away from God in an act of rebellion. We had free will because God created us tenderly to be in a loving relationship with him, and loving relationships must be based on free will and they must be two way. So he let us walk away from him, and away from the sustainer of life our bodies break, our world crumbles, and we die. In order to bridge that gap, he chose to die in our place, so that we could re enter that free will relationship with him if we so choose. He died on the cross, descended into hell, and then in three days he rose from the grave, defeating death. And one day he will return on a white horse to rescue us and to take the world back as his own. If I believed that to be true, then I believed in the greatest intervention in human history that has ever occurred. The God of the Bible isn’t a distant God, "God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him." 1 John 4:9 He did the unthinkable for us.

Living in light of the gospel helped me to understand the way that God is present in my life, my present, past, and in my future. It gave me peace. When Horatio G. Spafford’s two daughters and wife died in a shipwreck, he wrote this,

“When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul." 

“Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, let this blest assurance control: that Christ has regarded my helpless estate and has shed His own blood for my soul.

“My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought. My sin, not in part, but the whole, is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

“And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight The clouds be rolled back as a scroll The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend Even so, it is well with my soul!

“It is well with my soul, it is well, it is well with my soul.”

I don’t have an answer for your question. What I know is that I am willing to rest in the knowledge of my personal experiences and my research that God exists, that he is loving, and that he is powerful, just, and wise. Even the winds and the seas obey him, the mountains are like pebbles to him, thunder rolls at the sound of his voice. He had thought before time began, he gave all knowledge and all wisdom to us. 

Why do bad things happen also brings up the question, why do good things happen? Who do we have to thank when we get up in the morning and can see or hear or move or are alive in general? Why are we so blessed as to have two days and not just one? Where do mornings and complexity and beauty and wonder come from? They come from him. Not because we need it, but because he wants to give it to us. Enjoyment, existence, love, laughter, thought, beauty, heartbreak. The world is just as beautiful as it is terrible, and why should it be beautiful? Because he wants it to be that way.

God is so patient. He is so patient and kind and powerful, and he wants to hear your questions. Some of them, like this one, are in my opinion something that you have to talk to him about directly. He gives us thought and logic and reason and wisdom, and he asks for us to engage him. He will answer.

If any believers are reading this, I want you to know that it is enough to cry out to him in pain. It is enough to want to want to believe in him. He would so much rather hear from you in your anger than never hear from you at all. Seek him out, he will find you. He will chase after you.

I bet that he would chase after me, bet my life on it. I might not know the answer, but I am confident enough in what I do know that I’m willing to bet my existence that God will come true on his promises, that he will deliver me, that everything will be okay, that he is bigger than my trauma, and that he will hold me.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,     neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,     so are my ways higher than your ways     and my thoughts than your thoughts. 10 As the rain and the snow     come down from heaven, and do not return to it     without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,     so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:     It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire     and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. 12 You will go out in joy     and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills     will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field     will clap their hands. 13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,     and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown,     for an everlasting sign,     that will endure forever.” Isaiah 55:8-13

And I’m holding him to that promise.

[ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr]

WandaVision Episode 8 spoilers

Ok I heard this episode is sad so I’m prepared to cry and ruin my eyeliner.

I’m just emotionally preparing myself rq before I start I’m assuming a lots gonna go down cause the second episode is the finale.

I’m still not ready 2 minutes later lmao wait.

Okay hmm the title is called Previously On so we’re going back in time to her childhood based on the summary.

I think we’re gonna get more insight on her and Visions relationship and how it formed and hopefully get to see her relationship with her brother I’m starting now.

Ugh my TV is glitching

Okay we’re starting out in witch trials so it’s Agathas backstory the lady staring at her looks familiar. Oh it’s her mom

Her powers are blue here she’s into dark magic and the book in her basement is the stolen book from Doctor Strange im assuming she began learning dark magic from it l.

As they started to drain her. Her powers became blue and she starting to drain them back. I’m assuming the witches shared power and it was blue and now that it’s dark magic it’s purple.

Wow she killed her whole coven my draining them of their life and magic. Then she took her mother’s amulet so that’s the amulet she’s always wearing from the comics is. 

She admitted her thoughts weren’t available and she was never under control.

Her accent is back because she’s angry because of her children being missing.

She possessed the fake Pietro from another universe she didn’t say he was from another universe she just said she couldn’t get to his body so she had to do possession instead of necromancy.

She picked up the fly now she’s chanting in Latin

She’s mind controlling and talking about how thousands of people can be under your control and all interact with each other with complex storylines which makes me think she wants Wanda power because she’s jealous she can do everything like transformation and mind control without having to study all the spells

“Magic on autopilot,” Dhe wants to know how she did this and she wouldn’t tell her and now she’s manipulating her with her own loneliness. She took a piece of her hair so now she has her DNA 

Real reruns aka memories so she can look into them to see how she did it.

Her kids are crying out for in the basement so she’s gonna go with Agatha to save them I honestly don’t think the cries were her own.

OHHH MY GOD

All the movies her parents were going to sell were the decades and movies she did projected.

When Wanda walked into the memory she turned into her younger self,

The Dick Van Dick show is in the TV shape of the one Darcy used on the first episode so we know where she got her inspo for that one.

Everything outside makes me think this is the scene where her parents die.

The Stark bomb just hit and she’s looking around and can’t find her family yeah the Stark industry label is in front of her and she’s reverted back to Sokovian because she’s young and not the best at English yet I’m assuming.

The TV I’d still on and playing the show “At the end of the episode you realize it was all a bad dream,” I’m not sure why she said that part in English maybe because she’s referring to the show and movie nights are for English? 

Agatha is asking if she used a probability hex to stop the bomb because Wanda reached her hand out towards it and that’s how she uses her powers.

Maybe Agatha is hinting towards Wanda being a natural born witch?

“So what I see here a baby witch obsessed with sitcoms and years of therapy ahead of her. Doesn’t explain your recent hijinks,”

Wanda used her powers subconsciously there and she’s probably using her powers subconsciously to keep Westview running and she used them subconsciously to get it started. 

“The only way forward is back,”

She’s referring to Wanda not wanting to go back to Hydra I haven’t seen the scene yet but I’m assuming it’s because the testing was painful and because she now knows who hydra is and what it stands for.

“Don’t be scared you already lived it once,”

They have Loki’s sceptor of course im assuming they got it from SHIELD since they are SHIELD.

She didn’t have to touch the sample it just came to her on its own further proving she’s a witch but I don’t think she knows she moved it,

She touched the tesseract making the mine stone she then absorbed all its energy and passed out.

In isolation she’s watching another sitcom I just can’t figure out which it is.

I’m sure the episode on the TV is important “she hasn’t got any feeling,” maybe it’s about the Westview citizens or maybe it’s about vision being a doll or like a puppet and the brother is like “she hasn’t got any feelings” just like when Pietro or Fietro called Vision a popsicle an inanimate object 

“So little orphan Wanda got up close and personal with an infinity stone that amplified what otherwise would’ve died on the vine. The broken pieces of you are adding up buttercup I have a theory but I need more,” This is probably talking about how if you don’t use your powers or learn to control them you stop having them but the infinity stone just made the powers she already had stronger. The name Scarlett Witch is starting to make sense now. 

Another door another memory that I’d her watching Malcom in the middle.

She said the Avengers compound was the first home she had ever shared with Vision and with her family and country gone she felt alone so I’m assuming she’s with Vision cause he cured her loneliness.

Vision walking through the walls again she asking him to watch the sitcom with her. The sitcoms are important to her and she’s sharing them with him.

“So it is funny because of the grievous injury that man just suffered?” Vision

“No he’s not really injured,” Wanda

“How Can you be sure?”

“It’s not that kind of show,”

I think this is sort of related to the fact that nothing bad ever happens in Westview permanently like in Malcolm in the middle where the roof structure fell on the dad sure he got hurt but it wasn’t a detrimental injury.

He wants to comfort to her “The only thing that would bring me comfort is seeing him again,” Wanda about Pietro she felt the same with Vision hence why Westview is happening and why he’s back.

“I’m so tired, It’s just like this wave washing over me again and again it knocks me down and when I try stand up it just comes for me again and I can’t- it’s just gonna drown me,” How she explains her grief and depression we’re getting a glismpe of how she copes with death in her actual reality.

Vision says he’s always been alone he never experienced loss because he never had a loved one to lose.

“What is grief if not love preserving,” Okay damn Vision getting all deep.

Aww they just had a moment and now he’s laughing over the show how sweet. The awkward smile they did at eachother. How cute

Vision was dead and she wanted him back now we get to see how she stole Visions body back from her perspective.

All the news on the TV playing might not be revelant but it’s related to tamiles being reunited after the blip. So this is very shortly after the blip and some people might be right thinking it was almost directly after Tony’s funeral.

“He deserves a funeral at least I deserve it,”

They’re letting her take him probably to be able to paint her as a villain which is why Hayward cut out the first part of the footage.

She’s being shown him take apart and sawed she’s in pain seeing him practically dying again. Hayward called vision a weapon and Wanda is saying he’s not a weapon because he wasn’t and he didn’t want to be a weapon Hayward is hiding his true intentions of bringing him back to be his own weapon

“I just want to bury him. That’s all I want,”

She said she can’t do that she truly believes she can’t.

He won’t let her take $3 billion of vibranium to put in the ground she just wanted him to have a proper burial but Hayward provoked her and set her off.

She can’t feel him. A nod to how Vision said “I only feel you,” When he asked Wanda to kill him there is nothing left. She hot in the car and went to Westview she left and when she left she didn’t have Visions body.

She’s pulled up to place where she planned to grow old in with Vision and it’s been demolished this is the scene where she breaks down crying over it. And when she grieved she lets it get the best of her which is how she put the house back together without realizing she was doing it. Then that spread over the whole town and she is projected her own version of Vision. But I’m unsure if this is really Vision or not because then she’d be way more powerful than I ever believe to be able to create people own her own.

Oh wow she’s showing all the lights and it’s like she’s own set so she’s back to where Agatha had this all set up and she was the audience.

Agatha is choking the twins “I know what you are. You have no idea how dangerous you are. You’re supposed to be a myth. A being capable of spontaneous creation. and here you are using it to make breakfast for dinner.” Maybe Wanda was a prophecy before hand and she just never learned how powerful she really was and now Agatha is trying to feed off her powers I’m assuming she’s going to try to get Wanda to push her powers into her so she can drain her.

“Let go of my children,” Wanda with her accent coming back.

“Oh, yes your children and Vision and this whole little life you’ve made, this is Chaos magic Wanda. That makes you the Scarlett Witch,” Ugh yes one of those moments where they say a name of the movie or a character that’s basically it’s own movie I love it.

I’m gonna research Chaos magic and then I’ll reblog this again after I research some other things too.

End credits time. “Team is ready for launch,” They’re going to use Wanda own power to attack her using Visions actual corpse. He’s been brought back as the one thing he didn’t want to be. A weapon. I’m not sure who that was who powered it up but was it Monica’s contact?

Also doesn’t Agatha have Monica now if she was possessing Fietro? I have a lot of questions that I can’t get out right now

[teacupsandcyanide]

I posted 483 times in 2021

77 posts created (16%)

406 posts reblogged (84%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 5.3 posts.

I added 523 tags in 2021

#wwdits - 247 posts

#wwdits spoilers - 176 posts

#hmp42 - 56 posts

#dghda - 16 posts

#sdd - 7 posts

#what we do in the shadows - 6 posts

#the jack - 4 posts

#vampires - 4 posts

#lotr - 4 posts

#please - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#im not even free on thurdsay im so busy i havelike 20 doctors appointments a week and i have to make sure all the mentions of the hunter va

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Watching vampire grieving from a multicultural perspective is fucking interesting bc there ARE cultures where the norm is to get rid of all imagery of the deceased and/or not speak of them in the immediate aftermath but my understanding is that that’s usually to with not wanting to call up their ghost/disturb their rest, it’s about letting the person go and moving on with life without clinging to remnants of them

But obviously the way the vamps were dealing with the death as individuals was not particularly cathartic, it was about deliberately NOT processing the death as something that had happened, it was in fact about pretending that the deceased had never existed or been known by them so that they, the living, didn’t have to acknowledge their own grief because you can’t grieve someone who didn’t exist and you didn’t know

And then you have Mexican culture, which is one of the number one cultures for having a tongue-in-cheek relationship with the concept of mortality and also remembering and talking about family members who have passed on is absolutely fucking vital and you would never do something like destroy all their pictures

So from Guillermo’s perspective it must have been ten times as horrifying and bizarre

252 notes • Posted 2021-10-30 03:30:24 GMT

#4

pov you are standing outside your house with a beautiful boy and he demands you turn him into a vampire and you tell him you love him too much to do that to him and he says nothing so you turn away and tell yourself and him "i can't bear the weight of everything you put on me anymore. i don't want to be your idol anymore, i just want you to see me. i'm not a vampire anymore. i'm just me, i'm just a man who cares for you too much and is trying his best and is about to walk into traffic and nearly get totalled by a passing car"

308 notes • Posted 2021-10-18 05:20:54 GMT

#3

guillermo "maybe he'll care for me if i'm a vampire" de la cruz VS nandor "he only cares about me because i'm a vampire" the relentless

330 notes • Posted 2021-10-18 07:00:53 GMT

#2

Primula and Drogo Baggins: No! please! We don’t die until Frodo is 12! Frodo isn’t even born for another twenty years after Bilbo comes back from Erebor!

Parentshield writers, waggling their finger like an instragram model and picking up an enormous reaper scythe:

605 notes • Posted 2021-10-18 06:55:18 GMT

#1

See the full post

665 notes • Posted 2021-10-26 05:59:23 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[nomdeguerreblogs]

hello!! i don't know if you still into tommy x grace ....but if so, what do you think that season 3 would had be? in terms of their relationship with each other, and others, particularly grace with polly and ada. i miss them, and im terrible afraid of tommy and lizzie having more years together, and more kids.

Hello anon! I answered an ask a little while ago about how the Time Gap Tommy and Grace looked and hopefully that goes some way to answering this. The other part of your question - about how Grace interacted with other family members is tricky. I don’t think S3 tried very hard at all to answer it, but I do think it’s interesting. Because I want to know who Grace was (at least partly to know why THIS woman, why does Tommy who we know quite a lot about, love HER); and I want to know what she thinks of Tommy who, despite what SK thinks about his charismatic bad boy is not readily loveable; and I want to know what the family - especially Arthur, Ada and Polly - think of the pairing. The family members might have counterpointed Tommy’s grief too and given the audience a slightly more sympathetic way in (yes I know he bats away Arthur and Polly but…) Before I wander off who knows where…

Let’s start with Arthur, who you didn’t ask about, but I like, so. He remembers Grace in the Garrison covering for him taking cash and talking about manky cigarettes, and that he was attracted to her then too. He remembers watching Tommy watching her and being amused and pleased that his brother was doing something palpably normal and comprehensible; ie. lusting after a good-looking bird. He’s not capable at the time of appreciating the emotion though (“give her a good seeing to” I mean, Arthur please Tommy’s nearly proposing). The other thing Arthur brings in perspective is the idea of betrayal; after being scammed by his father he understands being manipulated by someone you love, and still loving them, and wanting things to be changed, better, kind. (FWIW, there are several parallels that begin way back in 1.05 between Grace and Arthur Sr, usually antithetical.) Arthur’s relationship with Linda seems to have taken Tommy’s with Grace as a bit of a template too. I would suggest that, just as much as Polly might, Arthur gets Tommy’s perspective in the relationship with Grace, just in a different way. It’s kind of a masculine perspective; he gets the lust and that she softens him, and finally in S3 he understands that’s good. He’s best man for a reason. Anyway, Arthur I think likes Grace in an uncomplicated way, and cheers them on. His “Sorry, sister” is possibly my favourite line of the entire series from anyone to anyone (it’s a close run thing with Tommy finally saying ‘I love you’) because it is the only one that indicates she is family, not just to Tommy, but the rest of them as well.

Now, Polly. *rolls up sleeves*

Oh my giddy fucking aunt where do I go with this? In series one, Polly and Grace have a frank exchange that is by turns tense, warm, charming and deadly and ultimately, woman to woman, honest. Polly intuits (way better than Tommy who has been thinking with his penis for episodes) some of Grace’s background (rich girl; Ulster Volunteer), and her opinions about her surroundings*. Grace gets to ask what Tommy was like before France and they connect briefly, because Polly sees how Grace really feels and understands it. They both love him, and recognise his extraordinariness, there is momentary compassion. After Polly has given the ultimatum - I run the business of the heart in this family and I will never accept you and if you’re not gone tomorrow I’ll shoot you (or something very similar, I’m rusty) - Grace also gets to deliver the final barb, and she’s right too when she tells Polly of her fear of losing him. Anyway, we learn quite a bit about Grace, and a bit about Tommy during this exchange (how many people have lost their minds to the line “He used to laugh. A lot.”? At least 98% of the fandom at last count). It is the ideal template for a parallel conversation in a different tone several years later - Gray and Shelby, hatpins at the ready, interpreting our dear protagonist and love and fear and loathing. Instead there was a suggestion that Polly has really let fly at Grace (“Tommy’s orders, no upsets tonight”), Grace’s handy expository monologue about the Russian business, her cheap shot about the power of her vagina to suck information out of him (“We were late coming down because we were having sex and then he told me everything”), and Polly trying to one-up her by telling her the final piece of the puzzle before the smug “remember I used to do this for a living.” Like the conversation in the first series, it’s about power (and don’t get me wrong I love that there are two female characters in this kind of dynamic) but that’s its limit, and that disappoints me because the characters have things in common (like, being desired by and shooting Campbell for example; wanting what is good for the family; actually knowing what it is to love Tommy and what a complicated business indeed that is; knowing how it is to work in a ‘man’s world’) that are richer and more interesting than their differences, yet it’s the differences that were emphasised.

AND ANOTHER THING. I’m not done with Polly yet. She is the emotion to Arthur’s lustful understanding. She ‘gets’ love: “Polly is never wrong about matters of the heart.” It is one of the first series’ most delightful twists that Polly, after chasing Grace out of town, gives Tommy the news that it was ‘for real,’ Grace did indeed love him. Perhaps this is cold comfort. Perhaps it is Polly’s way of telling him that his intuition wasn’t broken. And yet it is also Polly who tells Grace he might forgive her, giving hope she never imagined to have. Despite her threat in 1919, Polly is absolutely up to her neck in responsibility for allowing them to happen at all - I’m surprised Tommy hasn’t called a horse Polly’s Gift tbh - and I hoped S3 would acknowledge if not celebrate that fact. But it’s like SK only remembered the hatred and hardness. Beyond that, there’s this lowkey implication that Polly’s dislike for Grace colours her response to her death. Of all the characters, excepting Ada, Polly is the one who should have mined Tommy’s grief for the audience. But apparently Tatiana looks a little like Edna Purviance (Chaplin’s leading lady, you know?) to John and when you grieve you make bad choices. I mean. That’s it? Yep. That’s it. I know Tommy basically turned inwards and hardened his carapace to avoid descending completely into madness, but it is Polly’s job as a character to connect with emotion and empathise with grief, but she didn’t at all and it’s a bit baffling. Tommy is left wondering at the end of the series whether the family is worth all his effort, and Polly’s distance, brought on by her own romantic sub-plot and coolness towards Tommy’s chosen other half, is definitely part of that. But it feels cheap and thin when it could have been rich and gravy. (Just to clarify, while Tommy was definitely in no mood for a heart-to-heart she could still have been the audience’s anchor to the emotion in other ways, other conversations, actions. Polly doesn’t even mention Grace Shelby at the opening of the Institute bearing her name.)

OK, Ada. In my head, before the series began, I imagined Ada and Grace as warily respectful of each other and actually able to connect quite well. The biggest fly in their ointment is Grace’s responsibility for Freddie’s arrest in 1.04. But because it has never been mentioned since I’m not sure how it all fell; I’m also not convinced Ada wound up in a good place with Freddie before ‘pestilence’ took him so maybe that would colour her opinion too. They probably don’t see each other that much because Ada’s still largely committed to her cause in S3. Of all the characters, they are probably closest in terms of how they see Tommy - with hope and kindness (remember the way they both point out to him that he is loved on Derby Day?) - and, of all the characters, they are the two with reason to think this way. I wish I had heard a conversation between them because, like Polly’s, it could have been insightful.

Oh god and Lizzie and Tommy. I really dislike it. I really do. But it does seem to be endgame. I just consume vast quantities of whiskey before every episode now to deal with the pain. xx

*I have to point out that I’m not sure Grace exactly thinks the people of Small Heath are ‘scum,’ and also that Tommy sees himself as above them as well. Also while they are both loners, Grace is a loner in exile.

[sweetiepie08]

A long rambling essay about Teacher!au Ernesto & Hector’s friendship and where they go from here.

Essay inspired by the day’s discussions regarding the latest chapter of @im-fairly-whitty and @slusheeduck ‘s teacher!au and the crossroads we find ourselves at.

Long, rambling essay found below the cut

Hector and Ernesto have come to a crossroads in their friendship which can either deteriorate or get stronger & healthier depending on how maturely they handle the transition into Miguel’s adoption. In this essay I will…

Actually write an essay! Let’s begin by laying the facts out on the table.

·         Hector is adopting Miguel.

·         Miguel is a recently-orphaned 8 year old.

·         This decision came suddenly with the previous plan being that Miguel was going to go back to Santa Cecilia after the holidays.

·         Everyone was operating under the assumption Miguel would go back to Santa Cecilia.

·         When Hector made this decision, he neglected to tell Ernesto until the last minute.

·         Ernesto’s only 2 pieces of information on the subject include a text which told him nothing except that there was a change of plans, and a phone call 24 hours later which lasted less than a minute.

Hector & Ernesto both have faults in this situation, but I’ll start with Hector’s since it is honestly smaller and more concrete than Ernesto’s. Hector is making a life-altering decision which will not only affect his life, but Miguel’s life, Imelda’s life, and Ernesto’s life. As previously stated, Ernesto only has a text and an exceptionally brief phone call. It is fair to say that Hector had a lot going on and it’s only natural that some things fall by the wayside. It is also fair to say that Ernesto does not have enough information to go off of to process this sudden massive change to his living situation. (And being the thing left by the wayside never feels good).

To be clear, it is still Hector’s decision to make, but he and Ernesto do have to have a long talk about this because there are a lot of questions that need to be addressed. What, exactly, is Ernesto’s role in all this? How much is he expected to parent Miguel? Are there new rules as to what Ernesto can & can’t do in the apartment now? (For example, bringing a random girl home for the night. Probably can’t do that anymore.) How does this affect their music? Or their touring? What if Hector is planning on moving out all together? Now, assuming they are going to behave like mature adults, these questions will be addressed in the future, but at present, Ernesto’s been left with flailing in the wind. He has nothing to indicate if there is an answer to any of these questions or if Hector has even considered any of this.

So, Hector’s mistake is that he handled telling Ernesto all wrong, and he’d probably be the first one to admit it once it’s brought to his attention. However, Hector’s mistake can be resolved with a future conversation in which they come up with a game plan. Ernesto’s problems are going to take some more work.

To be fair, Ernesto does have legitimate concerns about what’s about to happen, one of which would actually factor into the decision about whether or not Hector should adopt Miguel: can Hector handle it? Ernesto has been friends with Hector for most of his life, which means he’s also been there for all the stupid times. He was there for the chorizo incident, and I’m sure there are plenty more like it. He also knows Hector is prone to flights of fancy and raising a kid is a way bigger commitment than, say, getting a starry-eyed crush on the girl at the bookstore. However, if he’d been paying attention for the last 6 months, he’d have seen how much Hector has matured and how well he’s taken care of Miguel. Sure, there’s a big difference between taking care of a kid for a few months and actually raising one into adulthood, but Hector has proven himself capable.

(As a personal anecdote, I used to be a lifeguard at waterpark, and if you don’t need a lifeguard to tell you that you can’t leave your infant unattended in a pool, you’re already doing better than some people I’ve come across.)

Ernesto’s other previously mentioned concerns do need to be addressed, but none of them change whether or not Miguel is adopted. Assuming something doesn’t go wrong with the adoption process, this is happening. Hector is adopting Miguel. They are going to need all the support they can get. Now, the question is, will Ernesto be supportive?

Ernesto has (reasonable) choices: either find a way to deal, or find his own place. No matter what, there’s going to be change. Ideally, they’ll talk it out, figure out a routine for the new normal, and if that doesn’t work, they get separate apartments when the lease is up. This second one doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It doesn’t have to mean the end of their friendship. It doesn’t even mean they can’t still play together. (Hector obviously can’t go on tour all summer, but he could still play local shows and be Ernesto’s stay-at-home songwriter). It just means this particular era is over. It’d be sad, of course, and they’d have to grieve and adjust, but it’s 100% doable.

Somehow, I doubt that’s how it’s going to be handled.

I don’t think it’s controversial to say Ernesto has tendency to think about himself first. He expects other people to make sacrifices to suit his needs, but he’s not used to making sacrifices himself. (Still low-key salty that he tried to get in the way of Hector’s education and then acted like he did Hector a big favor by stopping his freeze-out over it). Well, he’s going to have to start. Hector is taking on a very important responsibility. Miguel comes first, no matter what. This means accepting that Hector has a life separate from him. This means relinquishing control.

Ernesto relinquishing control: this is completely uncharted territory for him, especially when it comes to Hector. He’s always been able to control Hector before, and Hector’s rarely pushed back before. The only other big time they’ve fought was when Hector went away to college, but that was temporary, just like watching Miguel was supposed to be temporary. But now that Miguel is staying for good, he has to give up some of his control. He has to respect the rules Hector sets (like not filming Miguel without permission. Seriously, Ernesto, you are a 30-something man filming a small child without permission and posting it on the internet. What part of this is not creepy to you?). He has to trust Hector’s judgement and defer to Hector. And he’ll have to face the facts that this was all stuff he should have been doing in the first place.

I’d be interested in what sort of childhood & family life Wit & Slush have in mind for teacher!au Ernesto. I’d like to see where his need for control comes from.

I’ve gone in depth about what I think of Cannon Hector & Ernesto’s dynamic before, but I think some aspects still apply, such as Ernesto conceptualizing Hector as an extension of himself. Now Hector is operating in a way that is independent from Ernesto. They’ve been fighting more than ever, and not even about dumb stuff like who’s turn it is to do the dishes. From Ernesto’s perspective, this kid’s come between them and making it permanent is only going to make things worse. So the kid must be the problem, right?

Well, Ernesto, let’s look at the pattern. Whenever the big fights with Hector have happened, they follow a common thread. Hector tries to do his own thing or put his foot down, Ernesto gets mad because it messes up his plans, If Hector doesn’t fold immediately, Ernesto shuts Hector out, Hector waits until Ernesto’s ready to come back. If Ernesto concedes to Hector, he makes it a point to make sure Hector feels bad for trying to assert himself in the first place. Seems to me that the problem isn’t the kid, or even Hector.

The problem is that Ernesto fears growth to the point where he keeps those around him from growing. Why is this? Again, I’d like to know more about teacher!au’s childhood & home life. But, I do think he needs so much attention all the time because he’s afraid of spending too much time with himself and not liking what he finds when he really has to spend time with that person. On some level, I think he’s aware that he’s aware that he’s in the wrong, but truly admitting his faults would be too damaging to his ego, so he’ll shift blame to Hector, or Imelda, or even a child.

And is there maybe an aspect of self-doubt in there? Maybe he’s seeing his best friend make big steps forward in his life, while Ernesto is still stuck in the same place he was before. Might he feel insecure in his own ability to succeed? So insecure he’s willing to drag down those around him so he’s not left behind?

But still, it’s not fair right? It’s not fair that Ernesto’s life should change so dramatically for this kid he barely even knows. It’s not fair that he has to make sacrifices over something Hector decided, over something he has absolutely no input in. It’s not fair, right?

Right, it’s not fair. Just like it’s not fair that Miguel lost his parents at such a young age. It’s not fair that Enrique & Louisa don’t get to watch their son grow up except for 1 day a year. It’s not fair that Hector had to dive into the responsibility of taking care of a child without getting the chance to grieve for his own cousin. Nothing about this situation is fair.

But that’s the way it is. So what are we gonna do about it?

As I said at the beginning, we’re at a crossroads. What Ernesto choses to do now can either make or break his relationship with Hector. He can either make drastic moves to try to maintain the status quo, or adapt and change with everyone else.

Let’s see what might happen if Ernesto tries to force his will on this situation. It really depends on how low Ernesto’s willing to go. Is he going to try his usual freeze out? Will he try manipulating Hector into changing his mind? Might he try sabotaging the adoption progress? Would he try something even worse? His other incarnations tried to enforce their control over their Hectors with a glass of poison. Is this Ernesto willing to sink down to their level?

Whatever he tries, Hector’s starting to get his priorities in order. He’s not going to fold this time. He might not be good at standing up for himself, but he’d kick a tiger in the face for Miguel. Hector is growing into his own person, and he’s not going to put up with anything that could jeopardize Miguel’s chances for a happy, stable home. If he realizes Ernesto is actively working against this, their friendship will be done for good, and Hector will be the one to end it.

But, it doesn’t have to end like that. This could be a growing opportunity for Ernesto, a coming-of-age story for a 30-something year old man. And it starts with accepting that he is in the wrong and that he’s been treating Hector horribly. He needs to recognize what he’s doing, when he’s being unreasonable & self-centered, and learn how to stop himself.

It’s not going to be easy. No one wants to look too hard at the ugly parts of yourself too long, let alone acknowledge that they’re there. I think he’d definitely benefit from some CBT. If he’s not too proud, he could do with some counseling (everyone could, really). I’d focus on increasing empathy and recognizing irrational thoughts which prevent him from recognizing the needs of others. I’d also work on healthy ways to cope with change.

Just doing this work on himself could make a world of difference, not just with his relationship with Hector, but with his whole life. When you come right down to it, Ernesto is scared. He’s scared of change. He’s scared of loss. He’s scared of being left behind.

He likes what he has right now. He likes having Hector constantly by his side. He likes having adoring fans watch his channel. He likes performing for said fans and basking in their praise. But if something changes, he could lose everything. He might not, but why take the risk? Better to keep everything the same.

So what needs to happen now? He and Hector need to have a talk, a real talk. No accusing, no gas lighting, no giving in just because you’re uncomfortable and you just want it to end. Gonna need a lot of “I” statements and being open about their emotions. It’s not going to be an easy talk. A lot of hurt feelings are going to come to the surface. Old wounds will be open. But they really need to sit down and hash out what’s been going wrong with their relationship. Hector needs to acknowledge that he gives in too easily and doesn’t enforce boundaries. Ernesto needs to acknowledge that he takes advantage of Hector and tries to control too much.

After that, they need to come up with a new life plan, one that takes Miguel’s welfare into account. They need to talk about where compromises can be made and where they can’t. It may end with them coming up with a new routine at the apartment or they may come to the conclusion that it’s better for everyone if they don’t live together anymore. That second option might hurt. It’ll be different and they’re not going to be spending as much time together as they’re used to, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. It just means they’re growing up.

In conclusion, I believe Hector & Ernesto’s relationship is still salvageable at this point, but there needs to be change and it needs to start with Ernesto. Hector is taking on a lot of new responsibilities and is already taking steps to better himself. Ernesto has a lot of work to do on himself and his relationships, but he needs to take that first step and acknowledge his faults. For their friendship to survive, he needs to relinquish control and give Hector unconditional support. He needs to decide what is more important to him, his best friend or his ego.

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... Orange is the New Black (S05E4) Litchfield's Got Talent Airdate: June 9, 2017 @oitnb Ratings: @netflix original Score: 8/10 **********SPOILERS BELOW********** Litchfield's definitely got something... Im sure talent is in there somewhere, but as far direction is concerned, Nick Sandow who plays Joe Caputo is clearly new to the trade. Yes, this is his first stab at directing and he definitely has an eye for a 'Director's Perspective', but the episode does suffer in the 'cohesive flow' department. Josh Koenigsberg, Tara Hermann, and creator Jenji Kohan must have had a lot of fun in the writers room with this one, but I imagine this was a riot to just be on set for when it came to the actual talent show and insanity that followed. Sandow captures and settles on several vital emotional tones, and does find a good balance of heavy and light that OITNB has always honed in on so well... But it's the 'heavy' that I really want to tackle in this article. The heavy... Grief and Loss has been an ongoing subject I've tackled under the Spotlight Saga banner again and again. Grief straight up wrecked me... When I lost my Aunt (who was more like my sister due to environmental & situational factors), who I've mentioned many times through many different series, I lost my grip on reality. Seeing Taystee (Danielle Brooks) having such major difficulties processing her grief brings back a lot of emotional tidal waves for me. Even if this world is chaotic and completely meaningless, we have to find our home somewhere. It's so much more difficult to do that when someone who is so important in your life is literally ripped away from you... It's like ripping a massive bandage lined with duct tape off in a flash on a wound you never knew existed, that you never knew was bandaged. It leaves an inescapable void and we try to fill it with anything we can. In 'Litchfield's Got Talent', Suzanne (Uzo Aduba), Maureen (Emily Althaus), and Soso (Kimiko Glenn) have created a sacred alter of sorts using trays to block off the area where Poussey Washington (Samira Wiley) was killed by the undertrained, young, and very remorseful Baxter Bayley (Alan Aisenberg)... A very inexperienced and naive young man who was under the hostile orders of the tyrannical Piscatella (Brad William Henke). That whole situation with Baylee/Piscatella/Poussey will be covered later but for now, we simply use it help shape the rocky confines of where this grief stems from. Suzanne & Maureen convince Taystee and her friends to get in on a seance... One where Poussey will speak through Suzanne. Soso is eager to do anything to fill that void she can't escape, while Taystee is much more apprehensive. Taystee is a realist, but she has a great support system in friends like Janae (Vicky Jeudy), Cindy (Adrienne C. Moore), and Abdullah (Amanda Stephen) and they urge her to at least give this a shot. At this point Taystee is so 'capped & bottled' that anything is worth a whirl to hopefully crack her open and let everything she's holding on so tightly inside to breathe and fizz over. The whole experience backfires. Suzanne is earnest in her intentions, but Soso is almost too eager to believe that it sends Taystee over the edge. Here's where things get interesting. I had a couple of friends pass right around the time my Aunt departed this realm (death seems to come in 3's). All of them were completely unexpected but one in particular was extremely puzzling. It was one of 2/3 that were caused directly by suicide. It was a young man who was worldly, he talked about spiritual trips in India, his beliefs in reincarnation, he struggled with addiction and dependence... But he had, for the most part, overcome all the immediately difficult effects. His life was back in order and he was heading in the right direction. Sometimes people who were dependent on opiates are greatly affected by PAWS, Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms... A Great Depression that lingers for as long as it wants to, depending on the person... Understand that person has no control on PAWS, and it's certainly not only in your mind. All of this isn't really the point, I just feel a great need to set the stage and pay homage to a great life lost. Weeks before his suicide by self strangulation, he had visited us and was in great spirits, hopeful, loving... It felt like he was really enjoying this newfound freedom from the heavy shackles of opiate dependence, eager to reconnect on a very intense platonic level. He was a good friend, he was such a special light... But one day that light turned out and he was unable to switch it back on. We were all in mourning. My partner had a particularly difficult time with his death, at the time I had been slammed with dealing with death after death and was almost numb to it. I bring this is up to show the juxtaposition of Soso and Taystee's grief and what it meant to them. Soso had not known Poussey for very long, but they spent every waking moment together once they connected, bonding on all sorts of levels. Taystee had known Poussey for ages. She was her best friend, and she had her own special bond with Poussey. No one bond is greater than the other but when dealing with grief, sometimes we a hit a moment where we are very angry. We may feel like certain people don't have the right to feel such a deep sorrow or intense heartbreak... Taystee doesn't know how to let other people have their grief, because in her mind, there was no one more special... And there was a romantic side to their relationship, but it largely remained platonic. Taystee loved Poussey, maybe even romantically, but she was unable to sort out societal norms and the wall we surround ourselves with labels, to feel the safety of belonging to a specific brand in life. There is safety in being 'straight' or 'gay' or 'whatever', but the truth is we are all sexual beings and whatever you identify as doesn't mean that someone can't come along and represent a love that you didn't know could exist inside of your world. My partner felt a bond with our fallen friend like Taystee had with Poussey and I think that's why this time, this death, was particularly difficult. We are in an open relationship, but on terms that are only ours and were a pain in the ass to define... Feeling out those parameters comes with a lot of hard work and trial & error. At the time we were living with a friend, one who had initially introduced us to our now departed friend, years before his tragic end. In a similar vein to Taystee, she had felt a need to repeatedly remind us that if it wasn't for her that we wouldn't even know him... Which, by the way, isn't even necessarily true considering life will happen as it does and eventually we bump into each other along the boardwalk of an all-interconnected path. I can't tell you what she was looking for exactly with those statements, only she can say. All I can say is that it's not a great look. The whole thing flashed before me watching Taystee react, it almost helped me understand why our roommate had said those comments that seemed so very egotistical and insensitive at the time. Like I said before, we all grieve in different ways... There's no right way to do it, and sometimes when the pain is so great, the rulebook of grieving and dealing with death goes out the window. Taystee must reconcile with the fact that Poussey is gone... The horrible truth as to why it happened... And she must accept that Poussey meant a lot of things to very many people, not just her. Hell, I don't even live in Litchfield Prison or that world and I literally cried out all the water in my body into several towels when that fateful, unjustly tragedy occurred... And I cried again here too. I believe this will still greatly affect me until Taystee is able to let Poussey go... And Soso too... Everyone really, as despite what everyone's 'demands' are, or how crazy it gets inside that prison with an Inmate forced 'Prison Guard Talent Show', who has the gun, or what the media thinks about two Skinheads in Hijab's crucifying their rich, white, cooking celebrity, Judy King (Blair Brown), on top of the prison roof... This was all made possible by the outrage of an oppressive series of living conditions, an almost totalitarian CO rule by the Dolphin Loving, Arabian Night Theming, Piscatella and his autocratic snowball effect that led to the senseless and brutal death of a woman who didn't deserve to die. Unfortunately, that's what happened, and there's no changing the past... Only how we handle the future.