#i may have to give my account to a friend to pull for me in the worst case scenario but!! im fine w that

[stcries]

TIME FOR MY HSR GRIND TO GO INTO OVERDRIVE.

for a short summary: i haven't been able to play honkai star rail for the longest time due to storage problems. my ipad has never had enough space thanks to other apps, same with my phone, and with it not being on ps4, i cannot play it there either. my pc, being a mac, cannot run hsr without a windows emulator, and i don't trust any enough to download them.

recently, i replaced genshin on my ipad with hsr, and i've been enjoying it so far. but with my storage once again nearing ful capacity, i'm SO scared i'll run out of space before i get to boothill's banner. i need 9k more jades before i have 180 pulls, so i'm RACING to continue with the main story, finish events, and do as much as i can before my storage eventually gives out and i have to uninstall.

but if i remove the game after i get boothill? that is a reality i can live with. I JUST NEED TO GET ENOUGH JADES BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE LMAO.

[princessbrunette]

⊹ ᜊ(ᜊ ´ ˘)੭ ♡ … princess going digital! ♡

bsf!jj followed you on all of your social media accounts. well, he thought he did. ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ ౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆

your instagram was adorable and demure. photo dumps and stories of your daily iced coffee in your little manicured hand. you had pinterest boards too — jj had seen you scrolling through endless pictures of clothes on his bed and asked questions. you helped him make his own account so he could find new ideas on how to customise his board. he hasn’t opened the app since, but it seemed like it made you happy so he couldn’t find it in himself to delete it off his lockscreen.

he followed you on twitter too. he knew he did because he saw your tweets all up and down his timeline when he would be scrolling late at night trying to find porn. tweets about the cashier that was rude to you, or about that one song you just can’t get out your head.

he thought he’d covered all bases with you. he liked to be in tune with everything you were doing — and maybe that was wrong for a best friend to want, but the two of you were close! it only felt right. it may also have something to do with the fact he’s head over heels for you.

you were laying on your front on his bed. contrasting so sweetly against the boyishness of his room with your cute little hello kitty shirt and denim skirt — epitome of girly girl in such an unfitting space. it made him smile, and he nearly forgot to tune into what you were saying.

you were ranting about your mother again, the woman making it her mission to constantly bring you down.

��seriously jayj, if you saw the way she spoke to me...” you mutter with a frowny little pout as your fingers tap away at the screen, assumably responding to a text.

“i have seen the way she speaks to you. the lady is a nut job, no offence.” jj leans back slightly, tossing a balled up pair of socks from his laundry in the air and catching it.

“her texts are even worse.” you huff.

“s’alright. i’ll be your mommy.” he quips as you’re distracted by pulling up the correct screen.

“jj.” you tsk before turning your phone around. “look!” you whine, and he knows he’s meant to be looking at the texts displayed infront of him. but with undiagnosed adhd, jj couldn’t help but find his focus on the notification sliding down at the top of the screen. the twitter icon, notifying someone reposted your tweet — however, it was accompanied with another username he’d never seen before. an account ran by you assumably, that he no idea about.

“huh… yeah, no yeah. she’s batshit.” jj shakes himself off as he takes mental note of the username, leaning back and hoping you don’t ask any questions knowing he didn’t read the texts at all. you seem none the wiser, continuing to complain and go about your business. that evening, it’s time for you to head home. jj squeezes you at the doorway, cups your cheek and tells you that if your mom is giving you grief, you can come right on back. it seemed to comfort the pout off your face, and you skip off.

now it’s time to sate his curiosity.

when jj gets into bed that night, he types the username into twitter. it takes a few tries to get the specific spelling right, as it had been a few hours and slipped his mind — but finally, the account filled his screen.

your age is attached to the account, yet no name. there was definitely a sense of anonymity— to the point where you hadn’t even told him about it. he considered doing the right thing and clicking off — but jj didn’t always do the right thing, and this was one of those times. the first thing he notices is how clearly you the account is. the header, the profile picture — even the font in your bio was so… you. all curlicues and girly and pink — it was undeniably his best friend.

and then he scrolls.

‘want my best friend 2 hold me down n use me so bad :(’ a tweet from 3 days ago. the blonde sits up in bed, blinking at the screen. that was him, right? eagerly, he continues his scrolling — finding endless tweets about your sexual desires, fantasies, anecdotes about jj himself. it didn’t take much longer of scrolling until he comes across a video — his face heating and crotch stiffening at the familiarity of it all. it was your bedroom, and your face was cropped out. that one pair of pink panties he occasionally caught peeks of beneath your skirt hang off the ankle of your knee high clad legs, pretty pussy on display, glistening as you roll your hips, desperately fucking a pillow.

“god… damn.” he breathes, hand coming up to rub his chest as if to attempt to still his quick-beating heart. he stuffs a tongue in his cheek, part of him wanted to be mad that you were letting strangers on the internet see you like this before he got to. it was a childish type of jealousy that made his hands sweat and the back of his neck all prickly.

a bird squawks outside his window, causing the maybank boy to jump out of his skin like he was about to be caught watching his best friend get herself off. he juggles the phone, quickly checking the screen to make sure he hadn’t accidentally liked any posts. he hadn’t, and he exhales— but with the commotion, he’d accidentally refreshed the page. the loading wheel disappears with a pop, and a new tweet displays itself from three minutes prior.

‘my bsf looks after me so good :( he shld make me feel btter by letting me cum on his fingers <3’

it would be stupid to make a move. he would be potentially destroying a friendship, and on top of that — you could be mad at him for snooping. it was kind of a betrayal of trust after all, similar to if he’d read your diary. but his dick was hard and had taken over the steering wheel that operates his brain — and like he always said, stupid things had great outcomes all the time.

so with a clammy hand, he calls you.

“whats up jayj? did i leave something at your place again?” you croak, sounding all sleepy and cute. god, he couldn’t believe he’d waited so long.

“uh… so, like — imma cut to the chase, with everything goin’ on at your place, i don’t love the idea of you stayin’ there tonight. i’m comin’ to get you. you’re stayin’ here.” he makes up a quick excuse and feels kind of bad about it. his own desire toward you being masked as genuine concern for a friend. he expects some questioning, maybe even some resistance— but you perk up instantly.

“okay!”

and that’s exactly how you end up cradled in his lap with the rings at his knuckles tickling your opening from how deep in your greedy, drooling pussy they were.

“hmm— mm—huh—” you’re whining, all incoherent and fucked out with your cheek smushed against him, only two orgasms in. jj is grinning ear to ear, like some kind of sicko — never in his life thinking you’d want him like this. he almost wished he’d kept up the act for longer, preyed on your twitter account for longer to see what else you’d say, but he couldn’t help himself. he’d wanted you since you met in high school, and he was hungry.

“what’d i tell ya about not asking for things? could’ve just told me dude, i literally wanted this more than you.” he thinks out loud and you groan, pulling yourself up face to face with the handsome blonde.

“don’t call me dude when your fingers are n’side me!” you slur, lip all puffy and pouted. he smirks, unable to stop himself from finding amusement in your neediness and tilts his head a little so he was breathing right into your mouth.

“i’m sorry that’s my bad. baby.” he corrects himself, before pressing his lips to yours. that was much better.

[moonlightcycle571]

The Justice League mingling before their meeting

Captain Marvel, crashing through: CYBORG QUICK, I NEED YOU TO FIX IT

Cyborg: what?

Captain Marvel: SHES DOWN

Cyborg, palling: You don’t mean … *checkc* OH FUCK NO

JL, visibly concerned: What’s going on

Captain Marvel: HURRY DO SOMETHING

Cyborg, already has twelve laptops going through codes furiously: IM TRYING

Plastic man, bursting through the room: EMERGENCY, SHE HAS BEEN HIT

Cyborg and Captain Marvel: WE KNOW

Plastic man, gripping Batman: DO SOMETHING

Captain Marvel, slapping Plasticman: GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF SOLDIER

Green Arrow: WHATS GOING ON?

Captain Marvel: AO3 IS DOWN

JL: … what?

Green Lantern (Hal & Jessica): NOOOOOOOOOOO

Wonder Woman : … the fan fiction website?

Superman: that’s it?

Cyborg, dramatic gasp: how DARE-

Captain Marvel, dramatically holding him back: No my friend, they simply don’t understand

Green lantern (Hal): How am I supposed to get through monitor duty without my dose of SI field trip fics?

Green lantern (Jessica): How am I supposed to fly through space without my Percabeth podfics???

Green lantern (Hal): Aren’t John and Kyle currently in deep space right now?

A moment of silence for thé two lanterns in space

Flash: is this what’s got you in a fuss? Damn I thought someone died

Cyborg: SIX HOURS

Four Heroes proceed to cry in unison

Bonus:

After a gruelling 6 hour meeting, the heroes found themselves with their beloved writings again

Cyborg: SHES BACK BABY

Green lantern (Jessica): NO ONE TALK TO ME FOR SIX WEEKS I NEED TO CATCH UP ON MY FIC TIME

Captain Marvel: I CAN FINALLY POST MY NEXT CHAPTER

Green lantern (Hal): You’re an author? Let me see your works

The three look at Caps account: …

Green lantern (Hal): THATS YOU???

Cyborg: howwwwwww

Green lantern (Jessica): Oh shit, I’m a big fan of your work

Bonus 2:

Batman, in the BatCave: it seems this ao3 site has a great deal of influence. I might need to investigate this.

Batman: Captain Marvels work may also give me clues as to who he is

Ten hours later

Batman, knee deep in Gray ghost, Batfam and Danny Phantom fics: … I may have made a mistake

Bonus 3:

Lex Luthor: hey Mercy. Mercy. Hey.

Mercy: WHAT

Lex: wouldn’t it be funny if after ao3 starts working again, I mess with it some more. Making it go down so soon after the 6 hours are up

Mercy: that’s sounds cruel

Mercy: I love it

Bonus 4:

Lex Luthor talking to some villains

Lex: it seems that I was right, planting a bug within the reading platform brought forth a level of villainy i hadn’t truly imagined

Sivanna “got blamed and beat up for it”: THAT WAS YOU!

Cheetah “her furry and wlw safe space” : WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

Killer Croc “same reasons above”: Oh I’m going to beat your ass

Harley Quinn, pulling out her bat and calling all the Gotham Rogues (who have been up in arms about it): IM WAY ON YA! YOURE DEAD

Lex Luthor, “just wanted to stop seeing himself get shipped with Superman”: I sense that I may have made a mistake

[astonmartinii]

bad blood (lando's version) | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem carlos ex!reader

band aid's don't fix bullet holes but his best friend might

based on this request:so reader is a famous model who’s also carlos ex (dated YEARS) and after the breakup he jumped straight to rebeca (we just need a tiny bit of bad blood). soo she and lando always got along, ever since carlos was in mclaren. the point is they get together and come hand in hand to a gp out of nowhere so drama and more bad blood surface - you can lead this to whatever you want hehe, thanks!!! - @lorenakaspersen

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

vogue

liked by hunterschafer, landonorris and 1,209,433 others

tagged: yourusername

vogue: y/n y/ln takes the cover for this month, where she talks re-discovering herself and giving yourself time to move on. copies in stores everywhere this friday.

view all comments

user1: i am once again asking how the fuck that man fumbled a bad bitch like her

user2: do not bring that man up here, he actually boils my blood

user3: honestly thank god they wear helmets in f1 cause if i saw his smug little face i may have smashed by tv

yourusername: thank you for having me hehehehhe xx

vogue: you dropped this queen 👑

user4: not vogue supporting her more than carlos ever did 🤨

user5: at least lando still supports her

user6: i'm glad the friends she made... i.e lando, charles, max, daniel, etc did also abandon her when carlos just dropped her

hunterschafer: you're the person i see in your dreams

yourusername: are you sure i'm not just your sleep paralysis demon?

hunterschafer: you're welcome to stalk mine dreams anytime

user7: how am i meant to care about f1 without y/n?

user8: she's the reason i learnt about the sport but at leats now i have an excuse to support someone else LOL

landonorris: tinkerbell looks a little bit different here

yourusername: i thought you were too old to watch peter pan?

landonorris: i just said that so you would think i'm a big macho man :(

yourusername: that is tragic

landonorris: can i interest you in a movie night some time soon then

yourusername: you might

user9: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ^^

user10: idk but i am excited

f1wagupdates

liked by user11, user12 and 4,032 others

f1wagsupdates: carlos sainz debuts his new girlfriend rebecca donaldson at the bahrain grand prix, just one month after breaking up with model y/n y/ln. sainz and y/ln were together for three years, and sainz was seen with donaldson for the first time just a week after the breakup.

view all comments

user13: lol the wag accounts are done with his ass

f1wagsupdates: i am a y/n y/ln stan first and foremost

user14: anyone see the absolute stink eye charles and lando gave carlos LOL

user15: that's the thing when you're together for so long, the friends get attached as well

user16: i mean if certified homie hopper charles leclerc is calling your bluff then you know you've fucked up

user17: i will never understand how he jumped into a relationship with her after three years ?? LIKE IT WAS NOTHING

user18: things like that make me glad i'm single

user19: the thing that is bothering me that no one has said yet is the fact that he's been with her what a month? and he's already brought her to a race when he made y/n wait months to go to a race?

user20: screams insecurity - like "look i have moved on, i'm an alpha male who can get whoever i want"

user21: i never understood why he didn't let her come to races for months when they first got together, like not even his home race?

user22: i've always got the vibe that he thought that he was better than her and that she was using him?

user23: the way if he ever posted her (which was not very often) he never tagged her

user24: which is ironic because she's one of the most celebrated models in recent history, she has millions more followers than him and has a bigger network than him, so really if anyone was using anyone it was carlos using her

user25: anyone else pulling for her to get with lando?

user26: i always thought they got on more in the videos of them all together but honestly i just want her to be happy

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 2,018,552 others

yourusername: not much going on recently

view all comments

user27: SHE'S SO HOT

user28: i need her to give me one chance please

charles_leclerc: are we still down for the road trip to lourdes?

yourusername: needed now more than ever

charles_leclerc: trust and believe

user29: charles and y/n friendship you mean so much to me

user30: need her to sit in charles' side of the garage

user31: mother went to the university of servington where she got a degree is cuntology with a minor in slaying the haus down

danielricciardo: miss ma'am, leave some for the rest of us

yourusername: why thank you good sir

danielricciardo: where do i procure a veil as such?

yourusername: i may source one for you if you promise not to shave that moustache

heidiberger: preach

user32: i bet carlos just thought everyone would just forget about y/n when he dropped her, but he forgot that she's probably more liked on the grid than he is LOL

landonorris: why are you staring into my soul like that

yourusername: why are you lurking in my comment section

landonorris: i thought we were friends :(

yourusername: always and forever

user33: but he wants it to be more

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo

user33: I SAW THAT LANDO X Y/N COMING SOON?

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 803,774 others

landonorris: hostess with the most-ess?

view all comments

user34: is that a ... WOMAN?

user35: he's saying he's a host ... maybe he's hosting a friend who is a girl, it's not illegal

user36: i get your sentiment, but that photo is straight out of the soft launch girlfriend pinterest boards

user37: well now i'm picturing lando scrolling through pinterest and asking ??? to recreate the pics 😭

carlossainz55: missing my golf partner, round this weekend? ⛳️

landonorris: let me check my schedule buddy 👍

user38: okay... well someone else tell me that they can feel the vibe shift

user39: it's their first online interaction after the breakup, i think we can guess who's side lando is on

oscarpiastri: someone needs to debrief me asap

landonorris: someone forgot that he owns a phone

oscarpiastri: needed the added pressure of the public call out to make you actually do it

landonorris: fine, but you get three questions and that's it

user40: if the call out was public can't we get the public answers

yourusername: are you coming for my job?

landonorris: you saying i could model 😊

yourusername: i'm definitely saying you should let me give my agent your number

landonorris: you already have my number babe

yourusername: okay pretty boy

user41: i need this type of nepotism in my life

user42: i need the nepotism and the sexual tension cause PHEW it is through the roof

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 2,760,521 others

yourusername: enjoy the picture of me fucking up a pretzel

view all comments

user46: okay where are the detective freaks from f1twt?

user47: reporting for duty 🫡

user46: what car is that?

user47: it looks strikingly similar to a jolly, but i don't know if that's just my brain pushing me to make it lando. but there is a florist in monaco that wraps their flowers just like that as well ....

user46: thank you for your service

danielricciardo: this is very ballerina core 🩰

yourusername: has the old man been spending time on the internet?

danielricciardo: yes he has 😃

yourusername: omg proud

danielricciardo: no but seriously how did you do it? it looks sick

yourusername: very fiddly, needed an extra pair of hands

danielricciardo: an extra pair of hands [wiggles eyebrows]

yourusername: did you just comment your own stage directions?

danielricciardo: funny 😄

user48: okay i am glad we're not being deprived of the y/n and daniel friendship.

landonorris: i am enjoying this picture of you fucking up a pretzel

yourusername: i am a whore for carbs

landonorris: i am a whore for you

this comment was deleted

landonorris: i am also a whore for carbs (don't tell jon)

maxverstappen1: 📸📸📸 saw that mister !!

landonorris: you didn't see NOTHING

user49: we saw everything. i am so disappointed in lando, he's carlos' bestfriend and he's doing this?

liked by carlossainz55

user50: oh i know this man aint speaking

f1teaandgossip

liked by user51, user52 and 10,945 others

ftteaandgossip: carlos sainz was caught liking this tweet about his ex girlfriend y/n y/ln and his (former?) best friend lando norris. what do you think?

view all comments

user53: the audacity of men never fails to astound me

user54: you know what, i feel like a guilty man only acts this bold. so i'm saying it. i think there was overlap between his relationship with y/n and his relationship with rebecca

user55: you're right and you should say it

user56: carlos got with rebecca within a WEEK of the end of a three year relationship but is angry that she's finally moving on after months ?

user57: for real the first sight of lando and y/n was after at least two months

user58: i know people will say she's in the wrong because it is lando but honestly carlos has no leg to stand on with him parading rebecca around the paddock

user59: i really couldn't give a fuck if lando is his best buddy you act like a fool expect to get treated like a fool

user60: also the whole "whoring around the grid" is so dumb. you mean her FRIENDS? you know the friends she had to make when you would just leave her in the paddock or ignore her at parties ?

user61: babe really thought he was more loved in the paddock and expected everyone to go along with his messiness

user62: men don't talk about women this way challenge

user63: imagine talking about a girl you were with for THREE tears like this

user64: i wish lando and y/n all the best and i hope they're together for a long time, she deserves a good man after all of this

user65: i have faith 🤞

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 3,109,413 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: sloppy seconds you say? i never come second with him. pun intended x

view all comments

user66: SERVE

user67: user67 found dead in her home, cause of death: this post

landonorris: what can i say i'm a giver 🤷‍♂️

yourusername: i'll say 😮‍💨

oscarpiastri: ENOUGH

landonorris: i thought you were happy for us oscar :(

oscarpiastri: i am !! i even took the second picture. but i think you forget that i am staying with you in monaco :/

yourusername: whoops my bad

landonorris: i swear my hospitality is usually better

yourusername: i can attest to his hospitality

oscarpiastri: STOP PLEASE STOP

user68: poor oscar being traumatised by y/n and lando 😭

carlossainz55: real mature

yourusername: how about instead of liking shady tweets and commenting on my instagram posts, you come confront me like a real fucking person.

carlossainz55: you'd love that wouldn't you

yourusername: i really would because if i said everything you needed to hear i'd be banned from this app

carlossainz55: you really are the gold digging slut my parents warned me about

landonorris: you will absolutely not talk to her that way. if you do so again we'll have a very real problem

carlossainz55: you have no sense of loyalty lando

landonorris: the call is coming from inside the house

user69: the girls are FIGHTING

comments on this post have been limited.

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 1,866,398 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: nothing better than a podium at home and time with family

view all comments

user72: the sky camera shady as fuck for cutting straight to y/n in the mclaren garage when carlos crashed LOL

user73: her and lando's dad trying not to laugh had me creasing

yourusername: beyond proud of you baby

landonorris: your support means everything pretty girl

yourusername: and your family are the loveliest, tell mama i said thank you for having me (and my sandwiches for the plane)

landonorris: she say's thank you and come back soon (i also want you to come home asap)

user74: he already refers to his house at their home

user75: and y/n has been accepted by the family - the sainzs could take notes

oscarpiastri: oscar piastri erasure

yourusername: sorry osc, you're our favourite pookie on the grid

landonorris: also mama made you sandwiches too

oscarpiastri: i know they were very yummy 😋

danielricciardo: HOLD ON, oscar is your favourite pookie, where am i ???

maxverstappen1: i think you'll find i am their favourite full stop

charles_leclerc: nuh uh it's clearly me

yourusername: i'll just say lando is my favourite

landonorris: and i'll say y/n is my favourite

yourusername: and that's that

danielricciardo: boooooooo.

maxverstappen1: cop out :(

charles_leclerc: 🍅🍅🍅

user76: i am so confused right now

yourusername

liked by bellahadid, landonorris and 3,109,766 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: you are in love, true love.

view all comments

user77: omg the letters? i swear there were letters in her first post after carlos took rebecca to the first race of the season

user78: wait so do you think they were from lando the whole time?

yourusername: yes they are from lando ! after the carlos stuff had somewhat died down he had them all delivered to me and it definitely swayed me for a first date

user79: but i thought some of those letters looked pretty old

landonorris: i won't deny that i liked y/n for a long time but i obviously couldn't express that so i put them in letters. an idiot was an idiot and i'll never not take my chance

user80: okay that makes this whole thing so much cuter

user81: y/n is the definition of never letting your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband

landonorris: you're my best friend and i love you so much

yourusername: i'd go through all this mess and all this heartbreak again if it meant i still end up with you

landonorris: but i'm by your side forever now you can't get rid of me

yourusername: i wouldn't dream of it

user82: lord i have seen it all, please bless me with a relationship like this

danielricciardo: god you people are ridiculously cute

oscarpiastri: just think yourself lucky that you no longer share a garage with them

landonorris: we're not THAT bad

oscarpiastri: i have working ears

yourusername: sorry not sorry osc x

fin.

note: hope you all enjoyed. i am dying trying to do 75 soft but i also signed up for burlesque class !!

[submattsmxmmy]

ghostface!matt x slutty!reader x ghostface!chris

👻🎀 content warning: smut, degradation, predator/prey dynamic, restraints, knife play, blood play

👻🎀 summary: you're throwing a halloween party at your house in a remote area. the night becomes like a thrilling, real-life horror movie after your friends, matt and chris both show up dressed as the infamous ghostface

Dead dove: do not eat 💖 Hiii, it's @ariestrxsh and this is my secondary account. Here is my contribution to kinktober. I know the Ghostface trope has been done so many times, but I figured it would still be a fun little smut to write in honor of Halloween.

idk if this would be considered a dead dove: do not eat fic, but it certainly contains some rather dark material, so i'd rather label it that way to be safe. also, my reader's slutty nun outfit may offend you if you're religious, so please scroll and don't read if it's going to upset you.

masquerade

"What are you guys going as tonight?" You asked Nick, Matt, and Chris as the four of you aimlessly wandered around the Halloween store that was littered with all the decor you could dream of for the party you were throwing later. You'd done most of your holiday shopping a few weeks prior, but you just needed a few final touches to complete the vibe you were going for.

"I'm going as Stu Macher," Nick responded, fiddling with some tacky Halloween decoration. "I'm going as Ghostface," Chris confidently replied, and your gaze softened as you pictured him in one of those sexy masks.

"Hey, what the fuck, Chris? I'm going as Ghostface," Matt slugged Chris in the arm. Your breath caught in your throat, and your lips fell open as you pictured them both in the Ghostface costume. "Relax. That'll make it more fun. Then no one will know who's who," Chris smirked. "People already have a hard time telling us apart," Matt rolled his eyes.

"What are you going as?" Nick asked you, ignoring his brothers. "Well, I'm going to be the only one out of the four of us who isn't going as a Scream character. But it's going to be a surprise," you told them, wandering over towards a giant cauldron that caught your eye.

"What are you going to use that for?" Matt asked. "Punch bowl! Isn't it perfect?" You asked, picking it up and cradling it in your arms as the four of you continued through the store. "Can you at least give us a hint about what you're going to dress up as?" Chris playfully poked you in the side.

"All I can tell you is, it's gonna be sexy, and you're gonna thank God when you see me in it. I'm trying to get laid tonight," you proudly stated as the four of you headed over to the checkout counter to pay.

Nick, Matt, and Chris dropped you back off at your place, which was out in the middle of nowhere, so you could finish setting up, and so they could change into their costumes. You thought it was fitting you lived in a secluded part of your town's national forest and didn't have any neighbors for miles.

You'd just finished putting out the last of the decorum when people started trickling in. You had fake spiderwebs strewn in every corner, a smoke machine, and a black light.

You were just thinking about how excited you were for the boys to see you in your glowing slutty nun outfit when the doorbell rang, and as you pulled open your creaky front door, you saw Nick covered in fake blood accompanied by a pair of Ghostfaces, the whites of their masks lit up by the black light. "Look at you!" Nick gasped as you gave them a twirl. Chris and Matt's eyes were immediately drawn to your exposed chest and your bare thighs.

"Please, Mr. Ghostface, don't kill me!" You jokingly shrieked, placing your hands on your cheeks and making a fake surprised face. "You look really good," one of them said to you. "So do you guys," you seductively replied, nibbling on your lower lip and looking at the three of them, but especially Matt and Chris. You had a bit of a thing for masked men.

They shuffled into your house, admiring the way you had decorated. More guests started arriving, and the party started to really take off. Nick started hitting it off with a guy you worked with who was dressed as a skeleton, which left you, Matt, and Chris alone.

"You guys wanna scare Nick tonight?" Matt asked menacingly, tilting his head in his ghostface mask, which had no business being as hot as it was. You bit your lip at him.

Chris could tell you were entranced by the costume. "Like the mask, sweetheart?" Chris asked in a deep, menacingly voice that was strikingly familiar to that of the original Ghostface, taking his 'prop' weapon and running the edge along your cheek, but the metal was sharp and cold. "Shut the fuck up. Oh my god, is that a real knife?" You asked him, staring wide-eyed at it.

"Yeah, why does that scare you? Or do you like it?" Chris said in a spooky voice. You narrowed your eyes at him. "Neither. You guys are so immature. Have fun scaring Nick. I'm gonna go enjoy my party and try to find someone to hook up with. Try not to cut anyone with that thing."

You rolled your eyes at them and pushed past them, trying to hide the effect they were having on you. Both sets of eyes traveled to your ass as you walked away. "Why don't we play a prank on her instead?" Matt inquired. "Yeah, she could use a little loosening up," Chris responded.

You couldn't deny that the way Chris had put that blade up to your cheek while he was dressed like that was having a rather strong effect on you, an effect so strong that you desperately wanted to turn back around, grab them by their solid black robes, and beg them both to rail you while they wore their Ghostface attire.

You'd always found them both attractive, but they were your good friends, and most nights that the sexual thoughts about them creeped into your psyche, you were able to will it away, or something you'd never admit out loud to - sometimes you'd just take care of the aching between your legs really quickly, and the thoughts would usually dissipate on their own, but tonight was different.

You could feel a damp warmth between your thighs as you sauntered off in another direction to greet some of your other friends, but even as you asked them how the party was and tried to get your mind off of the Sturniolo boys, you found yourself peeking over your shoulder, stealing glances at them, and losing your inner battle with yourself to fight off your urges.

It had been so long, and you were so horny.

"I think that guy over there is checking you out," your friend who had animals ears on nudged you and glanced off in the direction of the punch bowl you'd bought earlier. Your eye caught a tall man with zombie makeup on that you didn't recognize grabbing himself a cup of spiked punch, his gaze flicking up at you every few seconds. You thought he was kind of cute.

"Go talk to him," your friend urged you, lovingly squeezing your arm. You took one more glance in the direction of where Matt and Chris had been standing just moments ago, seriously considering trying to pursue one of them instead, but when your eyes scanned over the crowd, you didn't see either one of them. You'd missed your chance.

"Okay, fine," you whispered to your friend, rolling your eyes and working up the courage to approach him. You took a deep breath and headed in his direction.

"Hey, do I know you?" You asked, grabbing yourself a red solo cup and serving yourself some alcoholic punch. "You know, some would say your costume is offensive," he said, ignoring your question and motioning towards your exposed breasts in your very ungodly outfit.

"Then why don't you rip it off of me?" You flirtatiously shot back. He looked unamused with you.

"Hey, so, what's the deal with your friend?" He asked, taking a sip of his drink and his gaze looking past you to where you were previously standing. "Oh, my friend," you said in a slightly disappointed tone, realizing you'd just approached and been very forward with a man who had been interested in the girl standing next to you the whole time.

You started back off in the direction you came from, and your friend glanced over at the embarrassment in your expression. "What happened? Was he a dick to you?" She asked, concern in her eyes while she cradled your face. You could understand why he was looking at her instead of you.

"No, nothing like that. If you think he's cute, you should go talk to him. I'll be right back," you responded, feeling your face get hot. You pushed past a crowd of people to get to the bottom of your staircase, and you hurried up the steps before your tears could fall.

It wasn't so much that you were upset about not getting the guy. You weren't even that interested in him. It was a combination of a few things, really.

It was the humiliation of misreading the situation, the insecurity you felt about not being as pretty as your friends, and the constant self-doubt you had about whether you really were a slut like everyone called you and if any guy would ever want you again because of it.

Through your teary vision, your bedroom door caught your eye. You stopped dead in your tracks, sniffling and wiping away your tears as alarm bells went off in your nervous system.

Your bedroom door was wide open, and you swore you'd shut it before the first few guests had arrived. You walked through the door frame cautiously, overwhelmed by a sensation of having eyes on you, studying your surroundings to see if anything else was out of place.

You shrugged off the feeling of being watched, chalking it up to the fact that it was Halloween, and you had been watching a lot of thriller and horror movies in the couple weeks leading up to your party.

You made your way over to the bathroom sink, setting down your red solo cup on the cold countertop and peering at your reflection in the mirror. You didn't want to spend Halloween night sulking in your bathroom while your two hot best friends were downstairs, strutting around in their sexy Ghostface attire and probably finding other girls to sleep with.

You cleaned off the eyeliner that was smudging on your bottom eyelid, glued the corner of your eyelash back down, and readjusted your breasts in your costume.

After fixing the imperfections with your wardrobe, you decided you weren't going to let the night end without taking a stab at trying to have sex with whichever one of the Sturniolo brothers you saw first, excluding Nick of course. You were done pretending like you weren't completely taken with them.

Your gaze flickered over to the reflection of your partially open closet door in the mirror. Again, you could have sworn you'd left it closed. Filled with dread, you slowly tiptoed out of the bathroom, past your bed, and over to your closet. You rested your hand on the round, metal door knob and slowly pushed it shut.

You realized how ridiculous you were being, rolling your eyes at yourself and letting out a sigh at how jumpy you'd been lately. You turned back around and started to head out of your bedroom when all of a sudden, you heard the sound of the closet door creaking open again.

Before you could spin yourself around and identify the threat, you felt a gloved hand cover your mouth and a cold, sharp blade resting against your neck. "What's your favorite scary movie?" The way his voice came through sounding just like Ghostface had you both scared and turned on.

Your eyes rolled back in your head, and you let out an audible moan against his palm, causing him to pull his hand back. "What was that?" Chris accusingly asked, speaking like himself again. "What the fuck? How do you make your voice sound like that?" You asked in a shaky voice.

He chuckled in your ear, avoiding your inquiry. "Answer me first. What was that sound you just made?" Chris posed the question again. "Nothing. Real funny, Chris. Let me go," you responded.

Another figure appeared in the corner of your eye as Matt walked around in his Ghostface costume, shutting your bedroom door closed. Your heart dropped as you watched him lock it and make his way back over to you. "Let you go? Are you sure you want that?" Matt cooed, running the back of his gloved hand along your cheek and tilting his head down at you. You gulped.

"Is this turning you on?" Chris whispered into your ear. "Gross," you rolled your eyes. "Only one way to find out," Matt menacingly replied. "Why don't you check her, Matt?" Chris smirked under his mask.

Your mouth fell open, and a strangled whimper came through as Matt reached between your legs, lifting up your skirt and slipping his fingers into the waistband of your panties. Immediately, he felt the wetness leak through his glove.

"Oh, she's soaked. Her clit practically has its own heartbeat," Matt relayed to his brother, drawing circles on it with his fingers and talking about you as if you weren't in the room with them. "I bet she'd like it if we took care of that. Don't you think?" Chris wondered, dragging the blade across your collar bone and between your partially exposed breasts.

You couldn't hold back your delighted sounds as they both put their hands on you. It was like a dream come true. Your prayers had been answered. You'd fantasized about them each separately, but the idea of having them both take you on at the same time didn't even seem like an option until now.

"What's turning you on so much? The mask? The knife? The fact that it's me and Matt?" Chris cooed at you, pulling your top down to reveal your tits. He took the knife and started running the sharp edge against your nipples that stiffened at the touch. You immediately shuddered and let out a whimper.

"All of it?" Matt wondered, continuing to play with your pussy that was becoming wetter by the second. "Answer him, slut. What's got you all wet, hmm?" Chris growled into your ear. Of course, it hurt your feelings to be called that, but there was something about the way Chris said it so endearingly that it didn't seem like he was trying to do anything other than turn you on, and it was working.

"Nothing, it's completely unrelated," you lied, biting your lip to hold back another moan, but your attempts failed, and your head fell back against Chris' chest. You felt his hard cock against your backside, and it twitched at the way you struggled to keep yourself composed. "Yeah, mine's unrelated, too," Chris replied sarcastically, staring down at your tits as he continued to tease them with his knife.

You felt Matt's fingers slip into your hole as he started to fuck you with them. "You want us to stop?" Matt asked. You nibbled on your lip and softly shook your head no. "That's what I thought. She's such a little slut," Chris said to his brother. "Don't you know it's always the slut who dies first?" Chris rasped into your ear.

"Oh, she likes that," Matt cooed, feeling your pussy start to throb around his fingers. You tried to hide your reactions, but your body language couldn't keep your secret from the two pairs of Ghostfaces who manhandled you.

"You still never told us your favorite scary movie," Chris pointed out. "Blair Witch Project," you hesitantly answered. "Mmm. That's a scary one. Especially when you live out here," Matt replied. Chris leaned over to Matt and whispered something in his ear that you couldn't quite make out.

"Lay on the fucking bed, slut," Chris responded as they both let you go. "We're gonna go have a little chat in the other room, and you're gonna lay right here and behave," Matt ordered you. "And if you try to run, you're gonna be really sorry," Chris said, waving the knife in your direction.

They both disappeared behind your bathroom door. You heard the sound of Chris and Matt arguing behind the wooden barrier about who was going to have their way with you first, but you had another idea.

When they both emerged from the bathroom, you were gone, and on your nightstand was a note that read: "come find me in the woods, mr. ghostface. xoxo, your prey" with a heart drawn below the lettering.

"Oh, that sneaky bitch thinks she can be in charge of her own fate. We're gonna have fun with her tonight," Chris told Matt as he picked up the note.

They both disappeared out of the room, down the stairs, and out the backdoor towards the dense treeline behind your house with a flashlight Matt had snagged off your kitchen counter.

All they had to do was listen quietly for a few minutes beneath the blanket of stars and clouds, and then they heard you, crushing twigs and leaves under your weight as you tried to stealthily make your way through the forest.

All of a sudden, you were lit up by the flashlight Matt held in hands. "Gotcha," he said in a menacing voice. You froze and stared at them both, unable to move a muscle. "Think you're so slick, huh?" Chris asked in a low, sexy rasp.

"You know what would make this so much more fun? If she had to guess who's who while we take turns fucking her," Matt suggested, taking a few steps towards you. "And if she guesses wrong, we'll make her bleed," Chris laughed, closing in on you as well.

You'd never seen this side of the two brothers, but it excited you more than you were willing to admit.

You started slowly walking backward until you backed into a tree, and you swallowed hard as you felt its rough trunk under your palms, realizing you didn't have anywhere to go.

"Please, Mr. Ghostface. Spare me!" You whined, but you couldn't hold back your smirk as Matt pulled the knife out of his robe and cut your costume from your body. You gasped as the fabric fell the floor in front of your feet. You'd never imagined your night would go like this. In fact, this was hotter than anything you could have ever dreamt up.

"We told you that you'd regret running." It was that same ominous, threatening, and sexy voice that Chris had used earlier in the night, so that must have been him. "I thought we told you to behave," said the other, sounding just like the first one. Fuck, you thought.

You watched as the boy with the knife started to cut a hole in his robe, and your eyes widened, and your jaw fell open as you realized what he was doing. You watched as his dick poked through the black fabric, staring you down. He handed off the knife to his brother.

"Since you like to run, one of us is going to have to hold you still," the second one said pinning your wrists above your head with one hand with the other, he held the blade up in front of your face. You saw yourself in the reflection of the sharp metal accompanied by the man in the Ghostface mask beside you, and it sent goosebumps across your flesh.

He closed the distance between the weapon and your breasts, and he started tracing your nipples again with the knife's edge. Your chest rose and fell as your breath quickened. You peered at the boy who was settling between your legs, grabbing ahold of his big, veiny cock with his gloved hand as he started pumping it back and forth a few times, making sure it had reached its full potential.

He hiked up your leg, wrapped your thigh around his waist, and pulled your panties to the side before sinking it into your heat and stretching you out. "So tight," he groaned deeply, feeling the way you gripped his dick. You let out a few loud moans as you adjusted to his size, taking every inch of him.

"That's it. Take it like the slut you are," he gruffed, picking up the pace and wrapping his gloved fingers around your neck. "Like that?" The boy who was holding your wrists cooed as he dragged the sharp object across to your other peak.

You loved the way both Ghostface masks reflected your fear back at you as well as your pleasure, their empty eyes, and their contorted mouths, taunting you. You glanced back at the brother who was between your legs, focusing on his thrusts. His fast and powerful thrusts.

Every time he bottomed out in you, a desperate mewl escaped your lips, filling the atmosphere. The masked man started to mimick the sounds that poured from your mouth while his brother fucked you, and you adored every second of it.

You loved the way they were feeding your sick fantasies, holding you at knife point, wearing their sexy costumes, and fucking you dumb while they degraded you. Your sounds became louder, more urgent, and less inhibited. You could feel the intensity building.

"Scream for me, bitch," the man between your legs chuckled. His mean words, his hand around your throat, the movement of his hips, and the cold, sharp metal dancing across your skin were enough to cause you to snap.

You hit the point of no return, clenching around the mystery man's rod, sending him to the same fate shortly after. You could feel his twitching cock filling you up as your orgasm took its course, the two of you moaning in unison while you finished together. Your legs grew weak as you came.

"Oh my god, Chris. Matt. Whoever you are," you breathlessly panted. You thought for sure you'd be able to tell them apart by now, but you had no idea, and you found it all the more enticing.

"Such a good girl for me," he cooed, slowing down his thrusts, pulling out, and watching his seed flow out of you. He stared down in awe at the mess he made, taking in the sight and savoring it while his breathing pattern returned to normal.

"I've been waiting for this," the boy to your left said as he switched places with his brother. He took the knife, hooking it into your panties and slicing the delicate material, watching the fabric fall to the ground and revealing your pretty pussy to him.

Then he cut a hole in his robe like his brother had done, and you peered down at his gorgeous cock poking through the tear in the material.

He roughly pried open your legs, guiding them open with the blade. He dug into the inside of your right thigh with his gloved hand and rested the knife on your lower stomach. You couldn't keep yourself from admiring his big, throbbing dick, and you sharply inhaled as you felt him slip his tip into your entrance.

"Oh, fuck," he moaned as he bucked his hips forward, his entire length vanisihing into your tight hole. Your eyes flicked back up to his Ghostface attire, taking in the incredible view of being fucked by a man in such a sexy mask.

The man beside you restrained your wrists, pinning them above your head again. "Alright. Time to guess. Who am I?" The boy beside you asked in his creepy Ghostface voice, tilting his head at you as he tightened his grip. You innocently peered up at his mask, searching for some kind of hint in his demeanor.

"Chris, is that you?" You asked uncertaintly. "Wrong. Remember what happens when you guess wrong?" Matt cooed, running his gloved finger along the underside of your chin. Your eyes were glazing over, your lips fell open, and your cheeks were flushed.

Chris applied more pressure to the knife, running the blade along your lower stomach and drawing blood. You let out a satisfied whine as you felt the release of the knife cutting you. The warm, sticky red fluid glistened in the moonlight as it slowly dripped down your abdomen.

"So pretty," Matt whispered, brushing your messy hair out of your face and his eyes dancing between your desperate expression and the way the blood looked so beautiful on your skin. Moans began pouring from you again as Chris fucked you senseless up against the tree.

"Please, Mr. Ghostface. Harder," you begged, your eyes lazily rolling back into your head as your breasts bounced to the cadence of his thrusts. "Cock dumb little slut," Chris menacingly chuckled at your pathetic pleading, but he still gave you what you so enthusiastically craved, relishing in your desperation for him.

You loved feeling helpless and giving yourself over so willingly to both brothers as they used you for their own pleasure. Your whimpers became louder and fuller as you neared your tipping point again.

"Harder," you cried out again before your orgasm took over. Your gaze danced between both of their masks, and your pussy started rhythmically throbbing around Chris' cock as he delivered a few more monumental strokes. You felt a wonderful, relieved feeling in the pit of your stomach as you came unraveled under the control of both boys.

Your brows pinched together, your knees weakened, and your stare began to lose its focus until you couldn't concentrate on anything except for the pure pleasure and ecstasy coursing through you. You were pumped full of Chris' cum as his cock twitched inside of you, and as you came down from your intense adrenaline rush, you felt all your muscles relax.

Both men chuckled, removing their masks and revealing their identities to you. Sure enough, you had guessed wrong. Chris leaned in and chuckled into your ear.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. You may have guessed wrong, but we're going to spare you. You're worth way more to us alive than dead."

[nnight-dances]

CASUAL

PAIRING: karina x fem!reader

GENRE: fluff, angst, smut (explicit, but not too much?)

TROPES: fwb to lovers except you're roommates and best friends, unrequited love but not really.

LISTEN TO: casual by chappell roan

NOTE: i may be having a bit of a military wife moment rn but i'm still a sapphic at heart yearning for something more... my first gay fic i've posted on this account yay! cannot reveal if ive been in a similar situation but you could say this is based on real life! whose life, i will not say. hope u enjoy and stay safe everyone <3

knee-deep in the [twin bed] and you're eating me out

you want to say you're in control when it happens, but you'd be a big fat liar if you did. truth be told, karina had you wrapped around her finger since she moved in. (in more ways than one, if you catch my drift.) 

you met her late freshman year in college when you shared a gender studies course with her – which alone would've been enough of a clue to which ways she swings, if not for the black leather jacket and unnecessary amount of rings she wore to class. she'd sat next to you the first week in and approached you after class. "this class is a bore," she said as a matter-of-factly, "wanna get coffee with me?" 

you'd agreed because you were mesmerized (even though secretly, that was the favorite course you took that year) and followed her into a cafe, letting her sweet talk you into all kinds of things from there. she had a big friend group which welcomed you generously when they found out you were friends with karina and eventually, that became your everyday life. 

you worked on papers sincerely while karina watched you with an unreadable glint (maybe it was unreadable, maybe you didn't want to read too much into it), swirling her untouched coffee. eventually one day, she asked you, "wanna be roommates next year?" 

that was karina. easy-going and confident. she didn't hesitate to ask you to do things with her, even if they were often bending the boundaries of what friends could do. exhibit a: she'd asked you to make out with her at a party just so she could shake off a creep. in general, she was touchier than the normal person, finding a way to cup your stomach under your shirt when you weren't looking. you get the idea. 

that's how when she moves into the same room as you sophomore year, you lost all sense of self and reality. you have to thank your mom who convinced you to arrive on campus a day earlier than most, so you could settle in without the bothersome crowd. 

you're in the middle of fixing a poster of your favorite band, the strokes, in the wall when she lets herself in with a, "you're already here, jagiya!" you almost lose your footing on your chair in order to face her, heart already a fluttering mess thanks to her shameless flirting. 

"karina!" you call out, thrilled to see your friends, complications aside. you step down carefully before throwing yourself in her waiting arms. "you're here earlier than i thought."

she pulls away with a devilish grin, "missed you too much so i came early." she looks around the room, "i see you've already made this place home."

you smile, unsettled by the way she's still holding you in her arms, your bodies attached at the hip as she takes in her home for the next year. she smells like she always does: like grapefruit and spicy cedar. you feel relaxed in her embrace, taking in her appearance. she's wearing a cropped tank with a large flannel that slips off her shoulder thanks to the heavy tote she carries.

with a sigh, you take the tote off her. "your hair grew longer," you comment as you place the bag on her desk. karina does a little spin for you, giving a full view of the wavy locks that came all the way to her navel. it only made her that much more charming (you couldn't resist wanting to know what it would feel like to run your fingers through them). 

you watch as karina lugs all her stuff into the room, refusing your help with a strict look. "can't have you spraining something already, jagiya," she quips and that's all it takes for you to sit back obediently. she takes off her flannel, letting you take in her arms. was it just you or did her biceps get bigger? (it wasn't just you. karina spent her summer the gym rat way.)

"you barely have any stuff…" you murmur mindlessly when she's nearly done in half an hour. for reference, it took you three whole hours for two days to set your stuff in place.

"you just have a lot of stuff," karina laughs, closing her closet with a satisfied clap. "thoughts on ordering in for din'?"

you raise a brow, "shouldn't we at least go see if everyone's back?"

she shrugs, "we can just go after we eat." she approaches your bed, resting her forearms next to you. "come on, i don't feel like eating that prison food just yet."

despite karina's exaggeration (your dining hall makes perfectly edible food), you let karina order for you. who are you kidding? the thought of sharing a meal with your newly established roommate in your new room on your first day together… it was sweet, you had to admit. so you give in and tell karina exactly what toppings you want on your bowl. 

but where you had expected to bond in all kinds of cozy ways with karina, the night quickly an unexpected turn. you're not sure how it happens but you end up caged under karina's body on your bed. her hot breath is hitting your face, "you got even prettier over the summer, huh?"

her words make it harder to think. to think about how this your best friend slash roommate slash the person you would do anything for. fuck, it's too late and you're too helpless when it comes to her. karina's already sliding her hand down your stomach, eliciting a mewl of her name from your throat. 

she looks pleased, chesire grin lighting up her face when she reaches your panties. "mhm, karina–" you claw at her shoulder when a cold finger meets your slick folds. she kisses your cheek and then your mouth, so strong that you can't do anything but hold her closer to your chest till she's ripping a scream from you. 

"karina, what are we doing?" you cry out, still coming down from your orgasm. what the fuck, this not a situation to be with your roommate.

"what?" she whispers, lips attached to your neck without a care in the world, "i'm just doing what i've been wanting to all summer."

"okay, that's enough," you push her off until you're both sat. you're breathless so it doesn't help the gravity of the glare you hold karina captive under. she sits back on her palms, eyes hooded. 

"we're friends," you start and sensing the protest rising in her, you hold up a hand, "and roommates. you know what they say about that, don't you?"

"don't shit where you eat," she deadpans, "but i don't care. i'm not shitting anywhere. i like you, you like me. that's why we're friends. if we want to fuck around a little, what's the big deal?"

you contain a scoff at how unbothered she is. at the same time, her words stab you in the heart, the subtle friendzoning nature of them not going unnoticed (that's why we're friends? what if you wanted to be more?)

"listen, jagiya," karina shifts dangerously closer, a thumb wiping away the sweat on your lip. "it's chill. we don't have to if you don't want to. but i'll tell you right now; i want to do things with you."

"things?" you breathe even though you know you shouldn't fall into her trap.

"yeah," she caresses your cheek, licking her lips, "want to kiss you. make you come. that sort of thing."

you fall against her weakly, feeling the soft strands of her hair envelope you like a dream. with your eyes closed, all you can feel is warmth of her body and none of the cold of her words (kiss, fuck, chill. no love.) 

"only if you let me eat you out, too," you finally murmur against her skin. feel her shake with laughter.

"thought you'd never ask."

you wake up in karina's arms. she'd dozed off in your bed as if hers wasn't two hops away. the thoughts makes you flushed (despite everything) and you turn around to face her. she's still asleep, peaceful as ever. you trace the mole below her lips, envious of how little she was attached to you.

not to drown yourself in self-pity, you had always been too attached to karina for your own good. a week into being friends with her, you would jump at a text from her, dropping everything to meet at her the cafe she had wanted to try or to help her get ready for a party. 

but it wasn't without reason. she was sweet to you, genuinely. karina sensed your moods smoothly, knowing when your silence was more than comfortable and when your drunk crying meant you were actually upset over something. she listened to you, no matter how little you claimed the problem to be, her reliable shoulder always yours when you were in trouble.

so you couldn't blame the butterflies in your stomach at waking up with her. right?

"we never made it to meeting our friends," karina mumbles through a yawn later. you're both in the middle of getting ready for the day, thankfully still a grace day before classes start. 

"you clearly had other plans," you purse your lips in the mirror, working on fixing a bump in your hair. stupid karina and her arm under your head all night. 

she comes up behind you with a playful smile, taking the brush from your hands to rake it through your hair herself. "you say that like you didn't have fun," she says. she brings your hair into a bun, taking a hairtie off her wrist to secure it in place. patting your head with eyes on you in the mirror, "there. you look cute."

you heave a deep sigh at the motions that stir up at her actions, sliding away to pretend to busy yourself with your bag. "we should go meet them today," you say, "or they might declare us dead."

"definitely," karina laughs.

meeting your friends helps you a little. maybe it's because you're seeing them after so long or maybe it's just the fact that you have normal friend feelings for them. but it's nice, you can lose yourself in a nonsense conversation with seungkwan about your recently acquired obsessions with various mobile games.

he's in the middle of offering to show you his brand-new coffee machine when karina shouts, "guys! gather up! minjeongie is driving us to get ice-cream! on her!"

you spot the short blonde attacks on karina at the presumably false declaration. your rommate dodges well, bent in a fit of laughter at minjeong's tantrum. "okay, i lied! everyone buy your own ice-cream."

as it turns out, minjeong's car is definitely not big enough to fit all 8 of your friends. "looks like we're fighting it out the fairest way," seowon declares, readying her fist for rock paper scissors. 

"since only five of us can go," karina starts, somehow finding her way next to your side. you shiver when her hands clasps yours. "minjeong, y/n, and i are definitely going."

you watch in shock as everyone wreaks havoc at her words. "now why would we allow that–"

"see, it's technically just two seats taken," she explains calmly, "y/n's sitting on my lap anyway." you gape at her audacity as she holds up your intertwined hands, like a wedding announcement.

you try to weasel out of her grip, mumbling, "that's fine. i don't really want to go–"

"what? of course you do," karina's hand tightens and you curse her strength, "you love ice-cream, jagiya. come on. let's go."

your friends seem dubious of the interaction but with a few statements along the lines of they're in their honeymoon phase as roomies, they return to the rock-paper-scissors battle at hand, now the stakes reduced to four seats now. 

"calling shotgun by the way!" karina calls as she pulls you after. you don't know what to say honestly, overwhelmed by her hand in yours. you had expected her to pretend things were the same as always but clearly not: you had never gone as far to sit in her lap with your friends around (alone was a different story. but you swear you'd only ended up in her lap because she'd wanted to hug you through your breakup with your ex.) 

"karina, you're crazy," you tell her, finally shaking your hand free. you cross your arms and karina simply takes a chug of water from the brita in geum's minifridge. 

"why? because i volunteered my lap so we'd get to go?"

before you can really give her a piece of your mind, minjeong interrupts. "looks like they figured out the winners. we're leaving in the next five minutes or the offer's off the table."

– 

two weeks and your mom invites me to [lunch]

"y/n, it's so nice to see you again," karina's mom is saying, sliding a menu toward you. thanksgiving week was around which meant parents were abundant on campus these days. it also meant your own mom couldn't make it because she was swamped with work, no thanks to her job as an on-field reporter. 

"of course, you've lost so much weight since we last met, eommeoni," you smile.

this is fine for the most part of it. you genuinely enjoy karina's mom's company. she's kind and sincere, always bringing a gift for you along with karina and treating you like her own. but this time around it's different because it's the first time you've been sleeping with her daughter.

in fact, just that morning, karina had kept you in bed longer than usual, complaining because you had gone to bed earlier than usual. it had been part of your plan to keep your conscience clean for when you met her mother, to make sure you didn't lose her respect. but being the nefarious idiot she was, karina had crawled up your torso, eyes going sweet at you, "please, just once?"

so now you had a dirtier conscience than usual, having been panting in karina's lap just hours before this lunch. 

but even if you tried to maintain composure in front of her mom, karina made it impossible. she slid close to your shoulder, hand splayed across your bare thigh (curse you and your decision to wear your sundress out today). it's honestly harmless and even excusable as a friendly gesture, but ever so occassionally, her hand climbs up, reaching closer and closer to a position that was far from appropriate.

"so tell me, do you two have any classes together this semester?" karina's mom asks you between mouthfuls of rice. you take the chance to peel karina's hand off but it ends up at your knee like a magnet. 

"not really," karina answers easily as if unaware of the power struggle going under the table. probably because she was winning by a mile. 

"i told karina she should take an elective with me but she refused," you complain, deciding if this was the way you could hit back then so be it.

"i think you forgot to mention it was an economics elective," she corrects you, hand basically clawing at your inner thight by now. you shift uneasily and karina's mom laughs.

"you know jimin," she shakes her head, "she doesn't take the serious courses. only painting all day long."

"eomma," karina groans, "how many times do i have to tell you? it's not just painting. i'm an arts major. that's like the second hardest major at this school."

"really? what's the hardest major?" (the only right question for a mother to ask.)

the rest of the lunch goes by quickly, fortunately for you. you're the first out the door, eager to put some distance between you and karina. you pretend to fan yourself out of the hot mess she's made of you.

"i have to say," karina's mom says as she gets ready to leave, "you two seem to have gotten closer since you started rooming together."

"really?" karina wonders as if clueless to the arm around your shoulder, where it had been the whole walk back to campus from the restaurant. (insufferable, you whisper to her. cute, she accuses you.)

"thanks for sticking next to her, y/n. who knows where my little girl would be without you?"

you brush of karina's mom's words of flattery, not voicing the thoughts that arise. where would i be without your daughter? 

– 

i know what you tell [our] friends

imagining a life without karina becomes terribly real when it becomes clear to you that karina truly has no intentions of treating as anything more than a friend who she sleeps with and not just as roommates. 

it's a cold slap of reality that you finally feel one day when you're eating with minjeong and seungkwan. karina's next to you, like she so often is, hand on your elbow for no good reason.

"so everyone's been wondering…" minjeong starts to say and seungkwan shoots her a glare, realizing where this was going.

"...are you two a thing?" she points to the point of contact between you and karina.

"what?" you squeak, pulling away at the call-out. but your mind goes blank, all the excuses you had practiced in your head deserting you. you had expected someone to catch on sooner or later, but somehow right now all you can think of is how you already miss karina's touch. i'm in love with her, it occurs to you to say. (wait, you love her? you wonder distantly as if the answer hadn't been crystal clear the minute she crossed lines with you.)

karina shrugs, "we're fucking. but it's casual. no attachment or anything." she adds with an arm around you, "just girls being girls, right?"

you muster out a laugh to agree with her, ignoring the concerned look seungkwan pins you with. minjeong seems convinced though, "no way! you're sleeping together? i guess it must be convenient… you live together."

"yeah, you could say that," this time it's you responding, swallowing the tremble in your throat. you'd rather die than let karina get a whiff of your true feelings. you stand up.

 "it's easy." it's the hardest. "not a big deal." you thought about it every waking second. "i have class now though. see you guys later." 

you did not have class. you ran to the nearest bathroom stall to lock yourself in and let out the sobs that had been threatening your system for the past three weeks. you make sure nobody can hear you and then wipe your tears with the spare tissues you carry in your bag. 

you leave, hoping nobody notices your red eyes. 

that night, you go to your room later than usual, counting on karina to be asleep. you should know better though because she's up, in nothing but her night shorts, sitting on your bed. 

it almost frustrates you for a moment, the sight of her curled up so comfortably on your bed like you were lovers. but you weren't. you weren't even close. but she perks up like maybe you are, calling out your name sweetly, "you're so late today. is everything okay?"

"yeah," you say, not making eye-contact for too long as you rest your bag on your desk. you contemplate leaving the room just so you didn't have to feel this hot volcano erupt in your chest. but instead, you undress, aware of karina's unwavering gaze. you make sure to slip off your pants and put on a baggy shirt. no shorts, like karina liked.

"we're a fully dressed person put together," she liked to joke when she'd bring your bodies close. you laughed along but all you wanted was to actually be one person with her. maybe that would justify why you were so attracted to her. 

"come on,," she coos when you jump into bed. "i know something's wrong. your eyes are red. your shoulders heavy."

"can't lie for one second with you, can i?" you sigh into her skin when she hugs you. 

"sorry, jagiya. maybe if i was a man, you could get away with it."

maybe that would make it easier. if one of you was a man. at least then someone would bat an eye at the concept of a no strings attached situationship between best friends. you were practically begging for someone to object to its apparently platonic nature. (you were begging yourself.)

"i didn't even shower," you complain when she explores your bare stomach with her fingers.

"it's fine. we'll just take one in the morning."

she holds you to the promise, waking you up half an hour earlier than usual just so she could drag you into the shower. two girls showering together, a sight nobody would see because it was dead quiet until an hour from now. 

– 

i try to be the chill girl 

you knew it was too good to be true, your friends-with-benefit situation with karina. but now that your feelings are actually catching up to you, you can barely hold in the tears that overwhelm you when you look at her.

then, when you finally decide to suck it up and show up to dinner with your friends, it all goes south. thanks to some dumb group project karina's doing, a guy named taeyong was at your table. you knew him by name from college gossip. he was fit to be the protagonist of a rom-com, nice guy with the looks to go with it and he was friendly, fitting right in with the group of friends. 

bitterly, you reflect on how long it had taken you, in comparison, to warm up to everyone. a month, maybe? plus, he looked perfect next to karina, their unusually good looks matching each other's quality.

you're not the only thinking that because geum pipes up, "you two look good together! when's the wedding?"

seowon hits his arm though most of the people on the table join in laughter. (you don't.) "come on, you can't force it, geum," she says, "they're clearly still getting to know each other."

"so it'll be official in say, a week from now?" minjeong teases, earning herself a blush from taeyong. karina is unruffled but she does smile a little at the teasing comments, side-eyeing the boy next to her.

right. they did look good together. 

much to your discomfort, karina and taeyong only seem to become closer, with the latter frequenting your table at every meal. he assimilated easily with the group, already circulating inside jokes that you were conveniently not a part of.

speaking of which you were circulating a word tornado yourself: casual, no attachement, chill, convenient, easy… not a big deal. as taeyong became a regular with your friends, you became increasingly absent, coming up with excuses to take your meals at much earlier or later hours.

you're officially spiraling, doing your best to avoid karina. but avoiding karina meant avoiding your friends. it was a harsh truth but you came to realize you were only friends with them because of her and if you decided to break things off with her, you'd also end up a loner.

it was a cold, miserable place to be in, your mind. you left your room early and came back late to karina asleep. she'd tried to stay up for your sake a few times but you'd made your arrivals later and later, until she gave up and went to sleep. 

you know you can only avoid her for so long before she caught you and grilled you but for now, you just had to come up with a way to keep yourself occupied. that afternoon, you get a text from her, asking to talk to you after dinner. you leave her on read for hours before texting back a quick "sure," afraid to go too far. you may be mad at karina for treating you in ways that left you confused, but you didn't actualy want to hurt her. 

but come the time when finally face her and you realize it may be too late. 

"so… why exactly have you been avoiding me?" more than anything, karina's voice is weary. she appears worried when you first take a seat across from her but when you don't look like you're in actual physical pain, her expression morphs into one of frustration.

"i'm not," you sigh, "i'm just busy."

"busy during every single meal? busy enough to leave before i wake up?"

"i'm taking more classes than usual," you say and though it's the truth, it's far from being the reason why you were acting this way. karina seems to know this. 

"i'm taking an art class that has me staying back in the studio till 11," she tells you. only then, you notice the black charcoal marking her cheek. "but i still come home."

"sorry," you mumble, averting your gaze. "i'm not– you didn't do anything. i'm just… thinking through some things. i'll come back to the room earlier today."

"great, so now we're not close enough for you to share your thoughts with me?" this time karina actually sounds hurt. it was the indication of your friendship finally falling apart that has her sitting forward, eyes blinking in panic. "y/n, what the fuck?"

what the fuck, indeed. you try your best to reassure karina but it seems like she's done talking to you after that point so you see yourself out. a small part of you manages to wonder whose jacket was laid across the chair next to her. taeyong?

you find the answer the hard way when you come back to your room at a reasonable hour for the first time in a week. only to run into taeyong himself.

he seems like he's in a hurry when you step in, rushing to put his jacket on (yes, the jacket that you saw next to karina earlier today) and avoiding your gaze. you don't even pretend to seem pleased encounter him there.

you fix your glare on karina, kneeling on her bed. she lets out a sigh when she sees you. "you're finally back."

you watch as taeyong leaves without a goodbye and you scoff, "i feel like i interrupted something. maybe i shouldn't have come back." you feel the blood rush to your head, all your convictions to lay out your unreciprocated feelings out to karina because she deserved an explanation.

right now, you just feel empty. and mad. so as soon as you rest your bag, you get to changing. but not into your night clothes.

"are you going somewhere?"

"...maybe."

"and what happened to our talk earlier?"

with a huff of disbelief, you throw your sweaty shirt on your bedroom floor. "well, i decided it meant nothing when i saw that guy leaving our room."

"taeyong?" karina looks baffled and you want to shake some sense into her so bad.

"yeah, i don't know, karina, the thought of you already replacing me with some dude–" you cut yourself off when your voice breaks. "it's not a great feeling. so i'm just gonna leave."

"wait, what?" karina jumps out of her bed. "is this what you've been mad about all week?"

you pause your angry movements about your space when she comes close to you, touching your arm, first contact in days. you breathe unevenly, "karina, i just need some time–"

"are you crying, jagiya?"

you want to say it's stupid nickname that gets to your nerves finally breaking your walls down. but really, it's the warmth in her tone, the sound of her breath hitting your ear so close. you'd missed karina. that's why you end up sobbing, arms finding her neck to support you. 

"karina, i'm–" she rubs your back calmly through your sobs. "i'm sorry."

"what's wrong, baby? why are you crying? please, talk to me."

"i think… i'm in love with you."

your confession is quiet, just like your love for karina has always been. actually no, that's what you want to think but no, your love is loud: you look for her in every room you enter, hands already welcoming hers when she runs over to you. you're the first to laugh at her jokes, no matter how nonsensical or how many times she's told them to you. you may be a flustered mess when things got intimate, but you always made sure karina felt good, too – going far beyond your comfort zone to please her.

karina pulls away with a soft gasp. "that's not what i expected you to say."

"i know," you sniffle. "but it's been killing me. i know you wanted to keep things casual. and i know you and taeyong are–"

"okay, just so we're clear for once and for all– there is nothing between me and taeyong."

you freeze in shock, having been rock-solid in your assumption of their relationship. "what?"

"come on, i barely know the guy. but apparently, everyone's teasing got to his head," karina sighs, "he came here to confess to me earlier today. and i rejected him."

now his urgency to leave the room makes even more sense, you realize slowly. but you realize another thing: karina had looked cold when you'd entered, ending things with him clearly. yet, here you were, standing with her arms around your waist as if you hadn't declared your love for her.

"...and?" you prod her, biting your lip hopefully.

"and?" karina echoes you, eyes locking in yours to understand your hint. "oh, you wanna know how i feel?"

you nod coyly, a stray tear falling down your cheek as if on cue. 

"well, let's start with a recap of this week. you ignored me so i felt like shit for most of it. and then you ignored me some more and i had to go to sleep lonely and sad. then, you stopped showing for meals so i didn't even want to eat anymore. what happened next? oh right, this evening. i had to practically beg you to talk to me–"

"okay, i get the idea!" you stop her with a groan, "i'm sorry, but i clearly had good reason to act the way i did."

"did you?" karina is suddenly holding your face, smiling turning bittersweet. "you idiot."

"huh?"

"i wanted to keep things casual because i wasn't sure how you felt about me. i wanted you to keep your options open till someone who you actually liked came along–"

"but–"

"this was long before i knew you were into me like that. you're really hard to read, you know? but yeah, i kept things casual because i'm selfish. i wanted to sleep with the girl i love without losing her friendship. i was obviously an–"

"idiot!" you hit karina's arm repeatedly at her revelation, tears filling up your vision yet again. "you love me?! why would you do that to me, then? are you–"

karina catches your fists in her with a heave, "i know, i know. i'm sorry, jagiya. but–" she brings your first to her chest, exposed by the deep neck of the tank she wore to sleep. "i'm serious about you, okay? i didn't want to gamble someone i cherished over some fucking around."

your body feels weak now that the truth is out in the open. you lean into karina. "you're so mean," you say into her neck, "i thought… you were chill."

she laughs at your complaint, "sorry. i'm dumb. dumb in love?"

you let karina coax you into her bed that night, kissing your body free of the tension you'd carried all that week like she was nursing you back to health. you can't help the tears that escape at her sweet touch, not new for her by any means – but different for you nevertheless, now that you knew how she felt. later that night, when you're falling asleep in her arms, in her twin bed this time, you feel her snuggle closer. warm nose against your cold cheek, she kisses you goodnight. (and a soft love you that you can barely distinguish from a dream.)

[keeryhours]

toxic - rafe cameron

Baby daddy! Rafe x Baby mama! Maybank! Reader

Masterlist

Rafe Cameron Masterlist

More Baby daddy! Rafe

Summary:

A prequel to my Baby daddy! Rafe series exploring their toxic relationship.

Warnings:

(18+) Major toxicity (seriously, a very toxic relationship), fighting, gaslighting, not smut but one smutty part, p in v, oral (f receiving), about a million uses of “fuck”, drinking, drug use (weed and coke), drunk driving (seriously never do that), pregnancy

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N:

Rafe and reader have done a lot of growing since this time in their relationship, so be prepared for serious toxicity. This one could be a bit heavy. I was heavily inspired by a scene from Smile 2 lol

tag list (let me know if you want to be added to any taglists!)

@sabrina-carpenter-stan-account

—

Being in a relationship with Rafe was…intense.

It had been many long years of crushing on him before you got together. Lingering looks during sleepovers with Sarah, touches when you’d pass in the hall, late night talks when you couldn’t sleep.

When you started hooking up, you were happy, but also felt terrible. You felt like you were betraying your best friend and your twin brother in one go - and maybe you were. But the way Rafe made you feel was like nothing you’d experienced before. The way he made you come alive under his touch, the way he’d give you orgasm after orgasm when you were in bed together, the way he felt inside you. The way he’d hold your hand when no one was looking, or place a hand on your back when walking around you in the kitchen of the Cameron house.

At night, during sleepovers after Sarah had gone to sleep, you’d sneak out of her room and into Rafe’s. This night was no exception. As you cracked his bedroom door open, you saw him lounging on his bed in nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants, hanging low on his hips.

“Hey, baby,” he greeted, a relaxed yet cocky smile on his handsome face.

“Hi,” you had greeted shyly, slipping into the room and closing the door behind you. Rafe held out a hand, beckoning you to join him on the bed. And how could you refuse?

You were dressed in your pajamas, short shorts and a tank top. There was a chill in the air, sending goosebumps across your skin as you crossed his room towards his bed. Rafe grabbed your hips as you reached him, pulling you down onto the bed next to him. You squealed, laughing as he kissed you deeply.

“So fucking sexy,” he commented, hands roaming your body immediately. “All mine.”

And you were his. Wholeheartedly. You would do anything for him, anything he asked. You may have been a little obsessed.

It didn’t take Rafe long to have you naked, his face between your legs. After he was satisfied he’d made you cum enough times, he was pushing those sweatpants down and entering you, fucking you hard and fast, just the way he liked it.

You had tried to be quiet, but it was hard when his cock was hitting so deep inside you, and the way he’d bend your body to his liking as he fucked you had your head spinning. Rafe would cover your mouth with his large hand - “Shh, baby girl, you don’t want the whole house to hear us, do you?” While burying his quiet grunts in the crook of your neck.

You had been so wrapped up in how Rafe was making you feel that you didn’t hear Sarah calling your name from the hall. Neither of you even heard the soft knock at his bedroom door.

“Rafe? Have you seen - oh!”

You practically shrieked as you saw Sarah standing in the doorway in shock, her jaw dropped as she took in the scene before her. You grabbed the blankets and covered your naked chest, but Rafe didn’t seem bothered.

“Get the fuck out!”

Sarah did just that, closing the door tightly behind her. When she was gone, Rafe wasted no time getting back to it, thrusting into you quickly, back to using you to chase his high.

“Rafe-“

“It’s fine.”

You tried your best to push Sarah out of your head. When Rafe finished, he pulled out of you, disposing of the condom. He opened the window then collapsed onto the bed next to you, muscular chest covered in a sheen of sweat.

“Do you think she’s mad?” You asked, feeling anxious that you had just fucked up the best friendship you’d ever had.

“What?” Rafe reached into his bedside table, pulling out an already rolled joint and sparking it up. The pungent smoke filled the room.

“Sarah?”

“What about her?”

“Rafe.”

Rafe took two long drags from the joint before passing it to you. You took it, bringing it to your own lips.

“Look, I’m sure it’s fine,” Rafe said, looking completely uninterested in the topic.

You weren’t so sure. You dreaded having to face Sarah after that, but after the two of you had finished the joint, you redressed and left his room, slipping down the hall and back into Sarah’s room. She was sitting on her bed, playing on her phone. She looked up as you walked in.

“Uh…hey,” you said awkwardly, moving to sit next to her on the bed like you always did.

“Hey,” she said, equally as awkward. You both sat there in an uncomfortable silence.

Finally, you spoke up again. “Listen, I-“

“Look, I don’t really care if you want to hook up with Rafe,” she said. “I just…just, be careful with him, okay?”

You furrowed your brow. “What do you mean?”

She looked at you incredulously. “You know how he is. He’s always leaving girls high and dry. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

You weren’t stupid enough to think you were an exception, but at the same time…you wanted to think he felt differently about you. You weren’t sure what this would mean for your relationship now that Sarah knew, but you hoped for the best.

The next day, Rafe asked you to be his girlfriend.

“It’s out now,” he had said simply, “And I want to show my girl off.”

JJ had not been happy. He didn’t talk to you for weeks. It broke your heart, because you had always been close with your twin brother. You felt like the worst sister in the world.

“Rafe Cameron? Of all people?” he had said, huffing a disbelieving laugh. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“He’s good to me, Jay-“

“Oh, he’s good to you? Did you forget how he’s treated me and our friends for all these years?” He shook his head. “I seriously can’t believe you.”

“You’ve got to let me make my own decisions-“

“Yeah, well you’re making really shitty ones.”

Things with Rafe were honestly amazing at first. He doted on you, took you everywhere. Spoiled the hell out of you. He would give you his card and tell you to buy whatever you wanted. He would take you on fancy dates. He loved having you on his arm, anywhere he went. You weren’t particularly fond of his friends, but as you got to know them, you realized they weren’t so bad. And they loved having you around, too.

Sarah actually liked you and Rafe together. It made him less of an asshole when you were with him. She thought you were exactly what he needed - someone softer, someone he loved.

It wasn’t long before things changed.

Rafe never cheated, but he was flirty. You would catch him talking to other girls in a way that made you uncomfortable, and when you’d confront him about it, he’d act like you were crazy.

“What, I can’t talk to any other girls?” He’d said, rolling his eyes. “That’s fucking ridiculous.”

“You’re not just talking, you’re flirting!”

“I am not flirting!” he threw his hands up, exasperated. “You’re being so crazy right now, you know that?”

“I’m being crazy?” you laughed. “You don’t just compliment other girls and tell them they look good when you have a girlfriend, Rafe.”

“Why the fuck not? Am I supposed to lie?”

“How about just don’t say anything about their appearance at all?” It was your turn to roll your eyes. “You don’t have any respect for me, Rafe.”

Rafe scoffed. “You’re so fucking dramatic.”

Days later, Rafe was picking you up from your college classes. You were headed out of the building, backpack on and extra books in your arms. You could see Rafe leaning against his truck waiting for you, which made you smile.

“Hey, wait up!”

You turned around to see a friend from your class, Jake. You were often paired together for group projects, which was the case with the current one. You smiled as he approached. “Hey, what’s up?”

“I just wanted to check your notes if that’s okay?” he said. “Since I came into class late, I just want to make sure I didn’t miss anything important.”

“Oh, sure.” You pulled your binder from the stack of books in your arms, opening it to the day’s notes and handing it to him. He scanned over it for a minute, before handing it back.

“Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow in the library at 2 to work on the project, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course.” You gave him one last smile, eyes darting to Rafe to see him standing with his arms crossed. “See you then!”

You began walking towards the truck. The closer you got, you could see that Rafe did not look happy. You felt dread in the pit of your stomach. When you approached the car, he opened the door for you without a word, his jaw clenched tight. You climbed in, dreading whatever was to come.

Rafe climbed into the driver’s seat. “Who was that?”

“Just a guy from my class. We have a project together.”

“Why were you talking to him?”

You looked at him with your eyebrows raised. “He needed to see my notes.”

“He can’t take his own notes?” Rafe started the truck, still not looking at you.

“He was just late to class, he wanted to see what he missed.”

“Sounds like a him problem.”

You rolled your eyes. “It wasn’t any trouble to let him look at my notes for a minute.”

“I don’t want you talking to him anymore.”

You laughed, looking at him like he was out of his mind. “Rafe. He’s my project partner. I can’t just not talk to him.”

“Get a new partner.”

“That’s ridiculous. What’s your problem with him anyway? You don’t even know the guy.”

“I saw the way he looked at you.” Rafe pulled out of the parking lot, beginning to drive back to his place.

“You’re crazy. He doesn’t look at me any type of way.”

“You have to be blind to not see that he looks at you like he wants to fuck you.” Rafe scoffed. “And you just let him. Do you want him to fuck you? Is that what you want?”

You looked at him like he had grown another head. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Do you want him to fuck you?”

“Rafe, you are being insane right now.”

“Oh, I’m insane?” He looked at you, his eyes shining wildly.

“I said you’re being insane.” You looked out the window as he drove, your day officially ruined. Yet again. “I don’t know what you expect me to do. The professor isn’t just going to let me switch partners for no reason.”

“Then you finish the project, and never talk to him again.”

It wasn’t worth the argument. You rode the rest of the way to Tannyhill in silence.

Things went on like this for months. You argued all the time. Rafe would be too cozy with other girls, then turn around and get mad the second you gave a man the time of day. It really pissed you off.

Things got especially bad one night during a bonfire. You were both completely wasted, and Rafe freaked out when he saw you talking with John B. He stormed over, his face twisted in fury. “We’re leaving.”

He grabbed you by the arm, dragging you to the truck. He was not sober enough to drive at all, but both of you were so wasted you didn’t even care.

You both stumbled your way into the front seats, you nearly falling on the ground attempting to climb in. It took Rafe a couple tries to get the keys in the ignition. He pulled out, nearly hitting a couple other cars in the process.

He pulled a small baggie of white powder from his pocket and handed it to you. “Give me a bump.”

You took the baggie, pouring a little on the back of your hand. You lifted your hand to his nose and he closed one nostril as he sniffed the coke. When you brought your hand back, you poured a little more, snorting it yourself. You scooped the excess on your finger and rubbed it on your gums.

The coke only made Rafe more hyped up. “Why the fuck do you keep talking to other guys in front of me, huh? What are you trying to do?” The truck was swerving on the road, both of you lucky not many cars were out tonight.

“You know John B’s only my friend. We’ve known each other since like 3rd grade.” You were starting to feel the effects of the drugs you’d done tonight, your body buzzing. You pulled your phone out, responding to a text from Sarah.

Sarah: Where did you go? Did you leave?

You: Rafe’smad. We leftt

Sarah: Who’s driving? You’re both wasted

You: Rafe

Sarah: Oh my god, turn around and come back, you can both ride home with me and Top.

“Who are you texting?” Rafe demanded, his voice slurred.

“Sarah,” you answered, not looking up from your phone.

“Yeah right. Give me your fucking phone.”

Rafe reached for it, and you jerked it out of his grasp. The truck swerved wildly on the road before Rafe got it under control again. “Give me the fucking phone!”

“No!” You held it out of his reach. “Can you just focus on the fucking road?”

“I know you’re talking about me. What did you tell them about me, huh?” Rafe finally turned back to the road, barely swerving back into the lane before careening off the turn. “Fucking ridiculous. After all I do for you.”

“You’re so ridiculous. I was texting Sarah. She wanted to know where we went. Why are you always so paranoid?”

Rafe didn’t answer. He kept driving, jaw clenched tight. The muscles in his arms flexed as he held the steering wheel tighter.

“Hey! I’m fucking talking to you!” you yelled.

Rafe reached forward, turning on the car’s radio and blasting his music. He turned it up so loud he couldn’t hear you if he tried.

You smacked the radio’s power button, turning it back off. “Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Rafe yelled, looking at you with his pupils blown wide. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Why don’t you fucking tell me, huh?!”

“Jesus Christ,” Rafe said. “You are so…so-“

“So, so what? Just fucking say it! Fucking tell me, huh?!”

Rafe smiled, but there was nothing but anger and cruelty behind it. He shook his head, before turning to you and getting in your face. “You’re a fucking bitch. A psycho fucking bitch!”

“Oh yeah? I’m fucking psycho?”

“Yeah, baby! It’s out now, isn’t it? You’re a crazy fucking bitch!”

The coke had your adrenaline running high. Your body buzzed with anger. You pushed his shoulder, causing him to swerve even harder. “Yeah? You want to see crazy? I’ll show you crazy! I’ll show you fucking crazy!”

“Stop!” he yelled, fighting off your hands. “You’re fucking psycho! Jesus fucking Christ, I’m fucking driving!”

“How’s that for crazy, huh?!”

“That’s plenty fucking crazy, you psycho. Back the fuck up!”

“I fucking HATE YOU!” you yelled, tears streaming down your face.

“Good!” Rafe said, turning to get in your face again. “Good! Because I fucking hate you, too!” He hit the steering wheel and started laughing like a crazy person. “Oh, you bitch. Crazy fucking bitch. Are you gonna cry?”

You just looked at him, tears streaming down your face now. “You’re such a fucking ASSHOLE!”

Rafe still had that cruel smile on his face as he continued laughing. “You look so sloppy when you cry, baby.”

You angrily wiped the tears off your face. “Take me home. ‘m not going home with you.”

“Whatever,” Rafe said. “Just don’t fucking try to call me in the morning.”

Somehow, you and Rafe made it to the house you shared with JJ in one piece. You climbed out of the car, slamming the passenger door shut behind you as you stumbled to the front door. Rafe peeled out of the driveway before you even made it to the porch.

You realized too late that you didn’t have your key, and JJ was still at the bonfire. You slid down against the door, sobbing into your hands. You didn’t know where things had gone so wrong. You didn’t know what had caused this change, but you couldn’t handle it anymore. You couldn’t handle the arguing, the jealousy, the accusations. Tonight was the last straw.

You pulled out your phone, calling your brother.

“Hello?”

“Jay,” you sniffed, from the tears or the coke or both. “I can’t get in. Can you come home?”

“I thought you were spending the night with Rafe. What happened?” You could hear the concern in his voice. “I’m leaving now.”

“We had a fight,” you admitted. “A bad one.”

“Do I need to kick his ass?”

“Maybe.”

“Just…just wait there, okay? I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

That night, JJ came home and found you pathetically crying on the porch. He unlocked the door and scooped you up in his arms like you weighed nothing, carrying you inside. You cried into his chest for a while before you decided all you wanted to do was go to bed at this point.

That wasn’t the end of your relationship with Rafe, surprisingly. And two months later, you found yourself staring at a positive pregnancy test.

You cried your eyes out about it. When you drove to Tannyhill for your planned movie night with Sarah, you still looked like a mess from all the crying you’d done.

“Jesus, what happened?” she asked as she opened the door for you.

You couldn’t bring yourself to tell her the words. You pulled the three positive tests out of your pocket instead. Her jaw dropped open.

“Oh my god.” She leaned in closer. “Rafe’s?”

You nodded.

“Oh, honey.” She pulled you into a hug, letting you cry it out on her shoulder. She rubbed your back soothingly.

“Woah, what’s going on?”

That was the last voice you wanted to hear right now. Rafe was walking through the living room, and had stopped when he saw you crying. You looked up from Sarah’s shoulder, and figured now was the time, whether you wanted it to be or not.

“I need to talk to you.”

Rafe looked concerned. “Okay, yeah. Come up to my room.”

You followed Rafe up the stairs and down the hall to his room. You sat on the edge of his bed while he stood watching you. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?” He clenched his fists. “Do I need to talk to somebody?”

“I’m pregnant, Rafe.”

He stopped cold. His blood felt like ice in his veins. “You’re what?”

“I’m pregnant.” The words felt wrong on your tongue. Like they belonged to someone else.

Rafe laughed. “Yeah, okay. We always use protection. You’re not pregnant.”

You pulled the three tests out again, handing them to him. He stared at you for a moment before he tentatively reached forward, taking them from your hands. He examined the tests, and his hands started shaking. When he looked up at you, there was anger in his eyes.

“Who else have you been fucking?”

That was the last thing you expected him to say. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“No one! God, Rafe, I have never cheated on you! Why do you always accuse me of shit?”

“Because there’s no way this kid is mine!” He ran a hand through his hair. “We used condoms every time.”

“Condoms fail.”

“That’s like a 0.1% chance.”

“I don’t think that’s true, Rafe.”

Rafe shook his head. “We’re not doing this. You’re not going to ruin my life like this.”

“Ruin your life?” You laughed humorlessly. “I’m the one who has to carry, birth, and then raise this baby. I don’t get the option to walk away.”

“You could get an abortion.”

His words stopped you. Sure, that was an option, but it didn’t feel like the one you wanted to make. “I don’t want an abortion.”

Rafe threw his hands up. “Christ, what do you want from me? I’m not ready to be a dad. I don’t want to be a dad.” He sat on the bed, looking dejected. “I wouldn’t be a good one anyway.”

You were quiet for a moment. “Why do you say that?”

He laughed, but there was no joy behind it. “I’m a fucking mess. Our relationship is a mess. I can’t stop with the fucking coke. This whole thing is…it’s not right for a baby.”

You were quiet again as you pondered his words. “Maybe we should break up.”

His head snapped in your direction. “Why?”

“You’re right,” you admitted. “Our relationship isn’t healthy.”

It was Rafe’s turn to be quiet. “What about the baby?”

“We can raise them together without being together.”

Rafe thought about your words. “Is that what you want?”

You didn’t know, to be honest. It felt right, though. You couldn’t bring a baby into this relationship the way it was. “Yeah. I think so.”

He nodded slowly. “Okay. If that’s what you want.”

“Are you going to stick around?”

“For the baby?”

“Yeah.”

Rafe thought again, for a few minutes. You feared the worst when he opened his mouth to speak again. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sticking around.”

You nodded. “I guess that’s that, then.”

“Yeah. That’s that.”

You left Rafe’s room and joined Sarah back down in the living room for your movie night. You had a hard time focusing on anything other than the baby growing inside you. How could you? You wondered how things would turn out. If Rafe really would stick around. You knew it was time to get sober now, and you hoped Rafe would, too.

Anything else aside, you owed this baby a good life. And you were determined to make that happen. No matter what.

[the-alarm-system]

A Guide: Encouraging Separation in Plurality

Hello! I'm Ardyn, and I decided to make this guide because after talking to many systems, I've come to realize that moving from a near medianhood to a full multiplicity may encourage better function for certain systems. For us any identity blurriness brings a lot of pain that has been aided by further separation and amnesiac barriers. Before you put an awful judgement on this, remember that healing is different for everyone, and breaking down barriers isn't best for everyone. This is up to the system, there is no guilt on wanting to do what is best for your system.

RADQUEERS DONT TOUCH

This guide will hold many different exercises and ideas that have been taken from tulpamancy and my own experiences.

first I'd say get situated with identity grounding and also following the "The Body is a Car" exercise within these sources

Identity Grounding

Guide to Switching

Building up Distinction

Separate Journals/Diaries

A seperate journal or diary that nobody can write in but that headmate is a good way to help a headmate build up their identity. They will be able to write down their own experiences and their own feelings, and this seperate space gives reinforces the idea that they are ultimately apart from you.

Separate Accounts with a Separate Feed

Something that pushed for the blur was having similar feeds, seeing my interest would push me to the front and cause issues for Vincent. He ended up making his own account on reddit where he is able to join subreddits that appeal to solely his interest, and it would help keep him at front instead of pull someone else.

Distinct Hobbies

encourage your headmates to pick up hobbies that are not something you may be interested in, hobbies give way to individuality as now they may seek others who share that hobby or spaces online that appeals to that hobby.

Different Clothing and Ownership

Assign different clothing and other items to headmates, let them pick out their own jacket and may they be the only ones to wear that jacket. Let them have their own perfume, let them have their own bag, let them have their own keychain for the car keys. This won't just give you that barrier, but also can be used as a form of identity grounding during a blur. When in blur, you will be able to tell whose fronting based on what clothing makes you feel more yourself.

Different Friends

This option may be more difficult, but it works very efficiently. Let your headmates have their own friend, I mean it. Giving them someone outside the system that they themselves can solely talk to is absolutely perfect in giving that split. Interacting and communication outside the body and encouraging unmasking will do wonders.

Drop Part Language

If you really want to encourage separation, you will have to drop the idea that you are all pieces of another. This is however a preference, speak to your headmates about it. Speak to them about terms they may prefer, maybe customized role names, let them be themselves. Push to yourself too that these are different people, not parts of you. But like I said, if parts language isn't an issue for you, then you might not have to change after all :P but I recommend it for this all to work.

Identity Separating Exercises

Now as you have pushed the formation of these headmates, now it's your goal to start separating them more and more through these exercises

Remember: Fake it until you make it

Being consistent in these exercises will be great, but you also have to make sure you believe that they are working. Plurality is very much a brain game, you have power over yourself and the more you believe these separations the more they will be. Some of these exercises are purely for pushing the belief, I recommend having a collection of proof on your plurality to refer to whenever you get doubtful.

I also recommend joining a tulpamancy community such as a discord or reddit, even if you don't practice tulpamancy, these people have so much trust in themselves and the process that it starts to rub off on you.

Separation Meditation

If you are able to visualize and even after doing all the above you still feel like your headmate hasn't fully left you, this exercise may be useful. In this meditation, you are to visualize the headmate in front of you. Then repeat "___ is a separate person from me" repeatedly for however long you like once a day.

Discussions

Speak to your headmates, ask questions about their lives

Here is a good source on that

The best route to take is to discuss opinions and specifically focus on what you disagree on, this will reinforce in your mind that this person is not you, this person does not agree with you, this person has their own opinion. Focus on those ideas until they really settle, and maybe also record these disagreements in your proof collection.

Affirmations

If you are a bit too busy for these things, constant affirmation throughout the day are both simple and helpful. Here is a good list

"__ is a seperate person from me"

"the system has entirely different and seperate people"

"___ is real and a seperate person"

"the system is noticeably distinct"

at first it may feel silly, but like I said, fake it until you make it. These will reinforce ideas.

Building Up Amnesiac Barriers

This may be more controversial, but for us these barriers help a ton. I would like to say that we already had blackout amnesia to begin with, but these exercises made them "worse". There are many reasons why a system may want to have higher amnesiac barriers, ours being privacy and independence, try to avoid judgement on this decision. The Switching Guide above also has an exercise that will push lost time.

"Cancel Recall"

When a memory from another headmate tries to seep into your thought process, immediately cover that memory and say to yourself "This memory isn't mine to remember". Perhaps visualize a door closing on it or a lock appearing on that memory. Mentally assign that memory to the correct headmate and move on

Affirmation

Affirmations that may help these barriers can be used situationally, just whenever you try and remember a time another headmate fronted think "No, I don't remember"

Headspace Tools

If you have a headspace, try using creation. Imagine cutting memory ties off with everyone else that can only temporarily be connected when agreed upon by both parties. Maybe also set up a headspace memory lock system.

Using Remnants left behind

When I say this I mean use something such as text messages a headmate left behind and when scrolling through them, focus and think "This wasn't me, I don't remember typing this".

Memory Redirection

Most times it's harder to push a memory away than just redirect it. When redirecting memory, for example you start to remember something another headmate did in meatspace, recite "that wasn't me, what did I do during this time" and attempt to recall your time within the headspace instead.

FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT, REMEMBER THAT

what do you guys think? any changes we should make? we would love to hear how this guide impacted your system!

[revelboo]

Last night I dreamed about you (not a strange dream)Basically, in my dream, you were famous to the point that all two stories here on Tumblr were physical books/available on Kindle. One day, on my birthday, I received a gift from my friend: The hardcover editions of "give up/give in" and "everything is alright". Man, what a good dream. The covers were SO BEAUTIFUL, glossy and probably the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Like, I woke up sad, because they were so perfect that I wanted them to be real. The last thing I remember doing in the dream was finishing reading both books on the same day because i was so excited!

Anyway, thanks for making me go crazy over Transformers again! I've been following you since the first 'chapters' of Everything is Alright (I think I found your account when you were releasing the 5th or 6th).

Hugs from a Brazilian fan 💗🇧🇷(And sorry for any words I may have misspelled. I'm not very confident about my English writing 🙂)

Haha nooo this stuff is just purely just my bored rambling nonsense. It’s not even beta read or edited really- it’s super rough. I’m glad you like it, though. I hadn’t been active in the fandom in ten years or so myself before I started writing these snippets.

Give Up/Give In Pt 14

Earthspark Megatron x Reader

• Landing, he waits for you to get clear before transforming so he can kneel and offer you his cupped hands. “Where are we?” You ask, settling yourself in his palm as he stands and walks up to the massive, hidden door recessed into the mountainside. And grimacing, he tries to think of a nice way to explain that he doesn’t trust Ghost. That he likes having his own place to recharge where he doesn’t have to constantly worry or look over his shoulder. Not even Optimus knows about this place and he can appreciate that his old friend also hasn’t pried, respecting his privacy. But letting himself in, he’s suddenly painfully aware of how empty the space is.

• “it’s just a place I can escape to for quiet,” he says, but there’s an edge to his tone that makes you think that’s not the whole answer. You don’t push, though, looking around. There’s a berth against a wall. A storage locker, and what might be a shower area in a corner, but it’s spartan and doesn’t really look like a place someone lives in. No photos, no mementos collected over the years. It’s not a home. “It’s not much, is it?” He asks as if reading your mind and you flinch, because what do you know about Cybertronians? Maybe uncluttered and empty is their design aesthetic.

• Wishes he can tell what you’re thinking as you look around. Do you find it lacking and lonely? It’s never mattered to him before, but now it does. Dorothy’s home is full of things. Odds and ends that humans tie memories to. What do you make of his hideaway without those human things? “It’s fine. You’re sure I’m not in the way here?” You ask, looking up at him and his spark warms that you’re worried about imposing on him. Just like you hadn’t wanted to impose on the Malto’s. Pulling the air mattress and blankets Dorothy had let him take from his subspace, he sets it up on a corner of his berth. The box of water and packaged MREs go beside it and he turns to find you watching him.

• “I like the company,” he says, nudging the box with a servo. Is he lonely recharging here alone instead of in the Ghost facility with the Autobots? He’s not given you a lot of details, but you get the impression he doesn’t trust Ghost and that Dorothy isn’t entirely sold on them either even though she works for them. Aware that you don’t have all the information, but okay with that for now since you don’t want to hound him. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you want,” he adds, letting you avoid the real world a bit longer. To take the time to get yourself together.

• If you’re here, he can keep an optic on you. Live up to his promise. Knows you’ll want to leave him eventually and go back to your life, but he’s not about to make you until you’re ready. And until then, it’ll be nice to have someone to talk to. Someone that doesn’t only see the monster he’s trying to leave behind. “Thank you,” you say and he reaches out a servo, one corner of his mouth twitching when you lay a hand on it. Because your trust? It means everything and he wants to be worthy of it.

Previous

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[ahhnini]

the star - frat!rafe cameron x tarotcard!reader! reader

“know that you’re supported, even when support isn’t always that obvious to you”

warnings - not proofread!

not obx4 bringing me out of my writing slump omg…also this is very self indulgent LMAOO much love to @nemesyaaa for this idea!!

“dude, c’mon!” topper drags rafe down the street, your dimly lit shop lights coming into his view. “nah, I don’t mess with that kind of stuff,” rafe says, shaking his head. “just go in there, ask one question, and then we’ll get out. don’t want me to tell the bros that you’re flaking on this dare,” topper smirked. rafe scoffs, rolling his eyes before he enters your shop, his nose filling with the scent of incense.

“hello?” your voice called out, seeing a tall man slowly make his way towards you. you softly smile, inviting him to sit. you notice his hesitatation, slender fingers gliding over the chair across you.

he gingerly sits down, taking a good look at your face. you giggle, “not what you were expecting, huh?” his eyes glance down at your name badge, reading it out, and his eyebrows furrow together, “you’re in my accounting class, right?” his voice trebles through the quiet building. you nod, “and…you’re rafe?” he hums, crossing his arms. he clears his throat before speaking up again, “I don’t really believe in this stuff, this was actually a dare…hope…you don’t take offense to that in some way.” you give him another polite smile before you shuffle your deck, “it’s okay, I don’t take offense, don’t worry, you are completely entitled to your own beliefs as I am to mine,” you reassure him.

“so…do you have a question you wanted to ask me or do you just want to talk about our accounting homework that’s due tomorrow for an hour straight? I saw your friend waiting outside the window,” you quickly point to topper fidgeting on his phone on the steps outside of your building.

“um—yeah I guess I do have a question,” he hesitates before speaking, “what advice can you give me right now?” his blue eyes sparkle at you, taking you aback for a moment. you nod before you continue shuffling, asking the question out loud and pulling three cards.

you hum, analyzing each of the messages and imagery of the cards. “well—rafe. it may seem you’ve been having trouble with some family and friends lately, you may have been feeling some resentment towards them, not feeling as if you’re being seen. but they do see you, and they’re here to support you, so don’t be afraid to ask for advice; they’re always willing to give it”

his eyes widen, “how—how did you—” he stumbles over his words, “it’s basically a mix of analysis and creativity. you analyze what the cards say and sort of make a story from it!” you beam, “but it’s also a trust of gut, do you see this?” you point at a card in the middle of your pull, the star. this is what stood out to me in your reading rafe; it’s what gave me your advice.” he nods slowly, before softly speaking up again, “um, can I tell you more?” “you have another question? sure—”

“no, not like that,” he grabs your hands from across the table, preventing you from shuffling your deck, “oh, okay,” you put your deck in your box, putting out the candle on your table, “let’s sit on the couch, okay?” he nods, pulling out his phone to text topper to go home.

once you see topper leave, you flip your front door sign to closed, shut your blinds, close your curtains, and turn off most of your lights, except the ones that hung over your cozy couch.

as the night went on, rafe told you about his recent struggles, you listening to every single word, providing him advice not as a tarot card reader, but as a friend.

the next morning, you woke rafe up from your couch, freaking out about your now overdue accounting assignment.

taglist - @nemesyaaa @julie123456897 @mfdoomdickrider @grxnde-dwt @littlelamy @rafeeekam @xcinnamonmalfoyx

[tbgblr2]

A Halloween to remember

This is a story I was asked to write for @tara-b who asked me to write an account of the day her twin sons were born on Halloween 2023. Part detailed by her, part artistic licence I hope you enjoy the story.

Here we are again… 31st October, 2023. Halloween. Once again we’re putting the finishing pieces together for our party, which we have ran for family and friends since we got married 3 years ago.

However there’s a difference right now… I’m pregnant. Really pregnant in fact, due tomorrow and might be having contractions really pregnant. To make matters worse we’re expecting twins… and my belly certainly doesn’t hide the fact.

But I can’t just stop and give up on the party, we’ve confirmed to everyone we were still going ahead and the guests are starting to arrive.

I’m out in the back garden blowing up an inflatable spider…. To be honest a big breath in and a big breath out is really helping the pains I’m feeling. Just have to get through the next few hours, we can wave goodbye to the guests, fill up the birthing tub and relax into it, get the birth I’d dreamed of. Only a few hours.

In through your mouth… hold it a second… and breathe out. It’s not efficient to blow up a balloon, but it certainly helps.

I stand up and groan, one hand supporting my back as I realise I was stooping over. The other holds the spider. It looks like it’s done. Just need to set it down over…. Shit. That was a feeling of a gush. My panties are soaked… it’s running down my leg. My heart races… that must have been my waters. Must have been my waters… oh hell… babies are coming, babies are coming… it’s all so real now.

The spider just gets dropped where I stand and I figure I look like a deer caught in the headlights as my eyes shoot wide. I look around. No one saw me. Good… good. Hopefully we can stick with the plan. Can’t let the party be ruined.

I walked inside to find my husband and our neighbour chatting in the kitchen - they were plating up canapés ready to take in for the rest of the guests. We got on well with our neighbour… he was a nice guy. Both he and his wife had offered to babysit for us when the babies were born.

“You look like you’re ready to pop any minute now” he grinned as he saw me approaching. I don’t think he realises just how true that statement is.

I was dressed as cleopatra with my husband as Mark Anthony. My dress had a cut out for my belly - there was no way the standard costume could fit me in my current state. Our neighbour opened his arms wide to give me a hug - he quite liked giving hugs and if I’m going to be honest, he gives really good ones - and took the opportunity to rub my belly. I know some people may consider that a bit forward, but we’d already discussed this in the past and he actually had a way of making the babies calm down inside of me so I wasn’t going to complain!

“Little angels kicking up a storm today?” He enquired after a few seconds of contact.

“Yeah, something like that…” I didn’t go into too much detail but I was scared that he would feel a contraction. Pretty sure it would feel a lot more different to what a kick felt like from the outside.

My wince gave it away as I visibly saw my stomach tighten. I watched his eyes blink and he pulled his hand away. “Braxton Hicks” I grunted, a little winded. He nodded understanding. He and his wife had 2 children of their own and they had seen all this before - though not 2 at once !

“Look after yourself and don’t work too hard” he said as he grabbed 2 plates and went back to the main room leaving just my husband and I in the kitchen.

We kissed. “You sure you’re ok? You look a little flushed?” He asked. I smiled and gave the best effort I could under the circumstances.

“I’ll be ok” I said “just very pregnant if you hadn’t noticed.”

“Oh… I’ve noticed all right!” He was grinning as he kissed me, and for that fleeting moment everything was all right in the world. “We finish this party, get rid of the guests and I promise it’s just you and me together until the babies come.”

I grinned “I like that idea, I like it a lot.” I emphasised the belly by pressing my hands into the small of my back and sticking it out with a groan, masking the start of another contraction. Was I imagining it or were they getting faster… no… can’t be.

“Duty calls… let’s go meet our guests” my husband smiled as he grabbed the other plate and walked through leaving me alone.

As I stood in the kitchen, readying myself for the onslaught of people and well wishers, I rubbed my belly. “Just hold out a little longer… mammas got to do some things then you can have your grand entrance. Please little babies… please “

The first few hours were manageable. The constant moving from guest to guest took my mind off my predicament, and I began to wonder if it was just a false alarm after all. I had a few glasses of water and I’d learned during my midwife appointments that hydration levels could affect things later in pregnancy. I was certainly the definition of late pregnancy at this stage.

As the party goers got more and more drunk as the night wore on, the well wishers went from “you look glowing” to “let me touch your belly for good luck” like I was some sort of Buddha statue. I laughed along with it with good grace, but as the night wore on the contractions came back with full force and it took a lot of careful avoiding to make sure no one saw anything too obvious.

My husband was certainly getting into the party spirit. He had promised to have a drink but not have too much just in case we did need to leave the house in an emergency but after the 10th person asked him to “wet the babies head” with them… he started to misbehave as well.

There was a sudden crash as a bowl we had set out got knocked over and smashed. Instinct had me rush toward it to clean up the mess but my husband was quicker and shooed me away. “Can’t have you bending down in your condition. I’ll clean this up, can you go fetch another bowl from upstairs.” We had some spare cutlery and crockery stored in a cupboard out of the way.

It was when I turned around he tapped me on the shoulder causing me to flinch. “Darling… I think you may have had a little accident. You’ve a wet patch on your skirt”. I gasped at the revelation. I was almost certain it was my waters. Perhaps the initial gush wasn’t all of it and I’d continued to leak for hours… or perhaps it had always been there and people either hadn’t noticed or were too polite to say. Either way I went red with embarrassment and said I would get changed when I went for the bowls.

I made my escape without much fuss. Completely forgetting the bowl I scrambled into the en suite bathroom. My hands slipped under my skirt and pulled down my sodden panties which slapped to the floor with the added weight of the liquid they were doused in. I don’t know if my body saw this as a sign, but I suddenly had to push and I almost doubled over with the unexpected sensation.

I went with it, closing my eyes and widening my stance involuntarily by sidestepping, grunting as I strained with effort. I gasped and strained again. Finally the contraction ebbed away and I had to re-assess the situation.

I had left my phone downstairs and shouting down would cause a panic no doubt. I would do this myself and surely my husband will come to check on me soon. I used the time I had to get out of my dress and bra, turning on the shower to full force. I checked the temperature just as the next contraction started and I stumbled in, turning my back to the shower jet and spreading my arms and legs like a starfish to brace me.

Prior to the need to push coming over me, I’d wondered if there would be obvious sensations to tell me to push… all I can say is that given the option between pushing or walking (or basically any other activity that I could possibly do) at that time… I had no choice.

The roaring water encouraged me to let go, I roared with it. I yelled. Part of my brain presumed the whole house would come running at the commotion but there was nothing. Another push - keep going girl, this is all on me now - and I felt weak at the knees with the effort. I had to get down to the ground before I slipped or fell.

My brain was focused on the need to push, and before I realised I was on the floor with the shower water gushing over my head. I can’t actually remember climbing down but logically that’s what must have happened. My feet were flat on the floor but something came to me. Leverage. My legs swung up at my hips and braced against the wall of the shower. It gave me something to push against.

A side effect of the reposition was that the shower water - once blasting me on the back and top of my head, instead washed my belly and between my legs. Good for making sure there was no mess… I’d seen the blood and who knows what else coming out during birth videos I’d watched… but part of me was worried for the baby with the water streaming down my belly and between my legs - right into the path where they babies were going to come from.

I shook my head. Idiot. Babies are born underwater. These babies were going to be born under water. I guess I kind of get a water birth after all.

Logical thought left me again as the contraction ramped up and once more I was left with the entirety of my conscious thought being “PUSH!” I closed my eyes and yelled out with abandon, I could feel the movement of the baby passing through me. I realised I couldn’t see… couldn’t check how well I was doing, couldn’t judge how much of the baby I’d pushed out. I had to rely on the feelings and the power of touch.

My hand groped down between my legs and I was honestly expecting to feel the head there… I mean it was certainly painful enough to warrant the labour being progressed almost to completion… but as my hand groped down I felt closed lips. I slipped my finger between the folds and that’s when I felt it… my first baby. It was certainly an alien feeling compared to years and years of exploration I’d done with my fingers before getting pregnant.

Still… feeling something there certainly had me buoyant. I knew I was doing it. The first baby was coming. I was going to be a mother. The contractions came thick and fast, at least in my opinion, as they seemed to be on top of one another with hardly time to catch my breath before the next hit me… but I was getting rewarded for the effort. I proved once more with my fingers, and as the burning sensation between my legs was testament to… the baby was starting to emerge.

Push, push, push again. Rest whilst I can, push once more. I was lost in it. I lost count after 10 sessions of pushing, my mind was too focused on the thought of getting the baby out than keeping track.

My grunts, roars, and occasional screams still went unanswered by my husband or any of our guests. How long had I been gone for. Was it minutes… was it hours… no don’t think, just PUSH!

I felt the head with my hands as I realised just how wide I’d been stretched when I got the ring of fire. They call it that, it might as well be the crotch supernova. I was crying at this point, though the tears were unidentifiable among the shower water. I wanted to push but I recalled from a video about panting through this stage, trying to avoid a tear by going to fast. I opened my mouth wide and blew out. Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo… then a gasp as the head reached the tipping point and shot out of me.

When I felt the… what could only be described as a ‘twang’ of my stretched lips springing back to place as the widest part of the head passed through me, I made a sound which I can only describe as a banshee wail. It knocked me senseless, to the point of where I lay sprawled on the ground of the shower panting heavily wondering just what happened.

Then panic set in. I hadn’t thought this through. Someone needed to check the cord was free… and there was no one here. I yelled out my husbands name, and there was no answer. I didn’t know what to do… what if I hurt the baby. I reached forward but couldn’t tell what I was feeling. The only mirror in the room was mounted on the wall and there’s no way I can do the acrobatics needed to get a glimpse between my legs. I felt my heart beating faster and faster when suddenly I felt a gushing release and then the baby was out and on the floor of the shower. Whilst in my panicking state I hadn’t realised the baby had turned and after the contraction forced out the first shoulder the rest came easily.

That’s it. I’d done it. This squalling, wriggling thing between my legs was my baby. My first child. I was a mother. I’d done it. I’d survived.

I rolled and adjusted my body to get onto my knees and that in turn would let me pick up the baby. I was very careful not to step on or damage the umbilical cord. With the baby in my arms I crawled on my hands and knees over to the bathtub where I grabbed onto the side with my free hand and finally managed to get to my feet. Turning off the shower to avoid any more water spraying on the floor I stumble into the bedroom, in a complete daze.

I knew from watching the preparation videos that the placenta would come out soon and as I didn’t have any tools to cut the cord I just flopped down on my side on the bed and admired my baby with him still attached. That child had so many kisses in its first few minutes of life…

Until the contraction brought me back to reality. The realisation that I was having twins and I’d need to do it all over again. I’m not afraid to say that my spine turned to ice in that split second moment of realisation.

I checked the bedside clock. Only 30 minutes had passed since the bowl was smashed. To me it felt like it could have been hours. Hopefully only 30 minutes or maybe even less to go. I was already stretched, I hope the second baby follows the same path as his… I guess big brother.

The next contraction had me feeling like pushing again so I hefted up a leg and pulled it back whilst I was on my side. I’d seen that position on a video, but for whatever reason I just couldn’t get it to feel right. After a few false starts, I decided to go on my hands and knees, straddling the first baby. I don’t mind saying that I was a bit concerned about slipping and squashing the baby, but unless he has his cord detached there was nowhere else really that it would stretch to.

So that was me for the next contraction. Knees and elbows dug into the mattress, my fingers finding a pillow to grab and squeeze and the baby seeming to drift off to sleep underneath me. I suppose the poor dear has had a trying day.

Until of course I was forced to yell out. This startled the baby who in turn screamed at the top of his lungs at having his sleep disturbed. That’s when the bedroom door opened.

My head darted to the side to see my husband partially silhouetted against the door. He yelled out and dashed into the room when he saw what was happening.

“You didn’t tell me!” He yelled.

“I couldn’t… no phone, couldn’t move. Baby… baby coming.” You gasped out as I closed my eyes, scrunched my hands into the pillows and heaved an almighty push.

“What can I do” he asked. The situation certainly catching him off guard.

“Can you…” I couldn’t get my words out between the need to push. I focused on that and left the sentence unfinished. After gathering my breath once the contraction disappeared I quickly managed “cut the cord and get the first baby.”

He nodded and dashed out of the room to get the birth bag we had prepared. I looked down at the wriggling infant below me and couldn’t help but smile at what I’d managed, that perfect little baby that we had made. Soon the need to push was back again though, and I was back to focusing. I didn’t realise my husband had returned to the room brandishing a bad of surgical clamps and some scissors. He stopped dead in his tracks as he got behind me.

“Baby’s… baby’s head. It’s there. Baby’s head.” He was stuttering and stammering at the shock, or perhaps wonder of seeing my lips parting, bringing forth new life. I could only grunt in acknowledgement as the contraction still had me seized it’s its grip.

I could feel the burn starting. I knew the head was filling me and I couldn’t stop it progressing to its inevitable conclusion. I felt him behind me, my eyes clamped shut focusing on both the pain between my legs and the need to make sure I stay supported by my arms in case I collapse on the baby beneath me. There was a tug, another tug, and I sensed, more than heard a snip as the first umbilical cord was snipped.

“Get… the… baby.” I gasped, my hand waving to the child below me. My husband grabbed our son and held him to his chest.

“Can I help with this one?” He seemed eager. I quickly shook my head.

“Get that one somewhere safe he won’t roll off then come back… I’ve… got this” the last 2 words were strained as the need to push overcame me. As my husband stepped to swaddle the first baby and lay him down the head of our second child emerged more and more.

I was sure these were not identical. Sure this one’s head was bigger. Sure I was putting in more effort… but knew deep down that it was just because I was simply exhausted. Still, I knew what needed to be done, and set my mind to it, focusing on nothing else but the sensations of the stretch.

Suddenly cool hands were supporting the burning sensation between my legs. I gasped at the sudden sensation, not expecting it. A finger slipped around the circumference of the head, gently stretching my skin. Another big push. Another… I felt the hands pushing back my lips, and then with a yelp, the second head was free.

I couldn’t do anything else but cry. The tears were streaming down my face, the exhaustion, the overwhelming sensations, they were nearly at an end. I recall the time between the head and the rest of the body coming out earlier, the panic whilst I felt around for the cord. There was no delay this time - my body wanted this baby out. Another long, involuntary groan and the body of our second son slipped into my husbands waiting hands.

I managed to get back onto my haunches as the baby was passed between my legs into my arms. The tears were still streaming down my face as - when I looked up - I realised the same was true of my husband.

He wiped the baby down who burst into his own fit of crying… with the first baby going too. It was a bit of a cacophony in our usually quiet and serene bedroom.

To say the guests were shocked at the new arrivals would be a bit of an understatement.

[jaeminify]

a game of tic tac toe.

synopsis ☆ mark would much rather spend his afternoon lazing around his apartment with just you in his clothes with a movie playing on in the background, but hanging out with his friends around was quite fun too.

warning/s ☆ mention of food/amount of food being eaten but it isn't specific!!

author's note ☆ hii! this is one of my second works posted onto this account and compared to my jaemin one shot, this one is much more mundane and while a little suggestive -- not so as compared to finders keepers >< please stay tuned for more works from me!! i'll do my best to put out better imagines and one shots <3 any feedback is much appreciated!

Mark can't seem to keep his hands off of you.

While that may seem like a regular occurrence, his hands are reaching out for yours more than usual, his head rests on your shoulder at least twice as more times when he's sat next to you, and when you're seated beside his close friend, he can't help (he could, he doesn't care) but pull you as close as possible even when the three of you are sat in a booth across his other friends.

"Need something, handsome?" You whisper as your eyes scan through the menu he's holding up for you.

He has one arm slung over your shoulder, holding the menu on the table for the both of you to read. It's easier for you, but the display of affection is a little surprising for you.

Discreetly, Mark leans his head down to give you a kiss. He lets his lips linger on yours one last time when he gives you a second peck, then he kisses the top of your head.

"You're so pretty today." He exhales, resting his head on your shoulder as he points to the meal he wants. "Wanna share that? Looks good."

"That's too heavy," You pout "We have dinner with your family tonight. I don't want to be rude by not ordering."

"I'll finish whatever's on your plate baby, I got you." Mark laughs but finds your concern over the tiniest of things (to him) endearingly cute. He likes that you pay attention to detail, even if it isn't so obvious to him.

"You could just sit there and they'd love you," He reassures. "I know I already do."

"Mark," You laugh. "The way you love me and the way they do is completely different."

"What's different in the way I love you?"

"Mark—"

"Okay, lovebirds! Need you two to put your hands in. We're playing tic tac toe and we need witnesses." Yuta belts, smiling innocently when Mark throws him a glare over your shoulder while you laugh at the paper they show you.

Tic Tac Toe Tournament is written at the top of their paper; you don't know where they got it from, but it's written in Jaehyun's writing so you know who was the mastermind was.

"It's gonna be Yuta versus Jaehyun first, then Jungwoo and Taeyong."

"Hey, how come I don't get to play?" Mark pays more attention this time, sitting up to accentuate his voice more. The arm that was looped over your shoulder instinctively drops lower to your waist, resting there.

"You were too busy staring at Y/N to even hear our question," Taeyong laughs, looking over at the couple with fondness in his eyes.

Even if he does teases Mark at how dense he becomes to his surroundings when you're around, he thinks you two are a good match that he adores.

"Wish you could've seen yourself. It was like cupid shot arrows in your eyes." Yuta grins.

You lean back into Mark's embrace and pinch his cheeks, not thinking too much about how his friends were with you two. You were aware that certain boys disliked affection or being coddled by their girlfriend when they were around their friends, but you were lucky because Mark never minded that. He'd even be the one to proudly ask for more hugs when you were around his friends.

Jaehyun, who had grown accustomed to your antics, shakes his head with a laugh.

"Not even cupid could compare," Jaehyun grins. "Cmon, pick a side." Jaehyun slides the paper over to you.

"I have to pick a side?"

"Have you been to a football match, Y/N?" Taeyong asks, smiling to show you his words were lighthearted. "You either sit on one side of the stadium, you can't cheer for two teams."

"Or so they say," Yuta winks at you, making Mark throw a tissue at him.

"Okay, I'll root for Yuta and Taeyong."

"Whaaat! Y/N I've known you the longest," Jaehyun whines.

"I cheered for you during your FIFA game, I can't keep cheering for one person."

"Especially when she has a boyfriend, Guys. Right here, by the way." Mark says, poking fun when he raises an arm to point at himself. "Sucks that I'm not playing, Y/N's great support."

"Her support for you would be a pity vote."

"In tic tac toe?"

"Especially in tic tac toe."

"That makes no—"

"What did I miss?" Jungwoo comes back to the booth with his phone, having left it at the theatre hall they watched their movie in previously.

"We're playing tic tac toe." Yuta says, beckoning him to hurry back into the seat so they could start playing.

"I'm against taeyong again?" Jungwoo squints his eyes, "Piece of cake. Hope you didn't bet against me Y/N."

"Not betting." You point out.

"So you voted for Taeyong?" He asked dryly.

"...Yes."

"The hell's that supposed to mean?"

"Can we start the game?" Jaehyun asks, impatiently grasping the pencil in his hand trying to pass one to Yuta.

The four boys start the game in front of you and Mark. The two of you don't really have to be paying attention much since it was a simple game, but you watched with interest when Taeyong would make side comments at Yuta placing the X's in the wrong boxes while Jaehyun drew hearts instead of O's for his turn.

In the midst of their bantering, Mark rests his chin on your shoulder and subconsciously, you place a hand on his knee to let him know in a subtle way that you're here and that you're still paying attention to him even when you tell Jungwoo to stop smudging Yuta's X's.

"I could totally win at tic tac toe." Mark mumbles just for you to hear.

You can't help but smile at how sulky he's gotten, knowing that he's only showing a straight face to not let the guys tease him. He doesn't really care if they do, he just likes sulking to you more than them.

"You could baby," You say to him, low enough only for him to hear. "I'd even cheer you on."

"I know you would, Angel." He smiles, "With how pretty you sound in bed your voice is music to me."

"Hey," your head turns sharply to face him, placing a finger up between you and his lips, Mark has to bite back a smile at how cute you are, choosing to kiss the tip of your finger before he lays his head on your shoulder again.

He pokes your side to get your attention but your focused suddenly shifts to the match between Jungwoo and Taeyong. Jaehyun wins the first round against Yuta, the latter saying he wasn't focused because he hasn't played in a while.

"How do you even lose at tic tac toe?"

"You're living it, Yuta. That's literally you."

"Shut up and start the game," Yuta groans, passing Taeyong his pencil after hearing his friend tease him.

"You sure you don't wanna change your mind, Y/N?" Jungwoo pokes fun, drawing the lines for the game to start after he scribbles down his and Taeyong's name.

You shake your head at Mark's friend, "Nope. I trust Tae, I know he'll do well."

"Wish I had that confidence," Taeyong mumbles.

"It's just tic tac toe..." Mark breathes out, shaking his head when he sees how worked up his friends are getting over one game while waiting for your dessert.

Mark tunes out the conversation, only turning his head to look over at what you guys are doing when he hears you laugh, or when you move forward that Mark doesn't feel your skin on his that makes him tune back in to what the guys are saying.

Mark almost falls asleep when he realises it's been drizzling outside, raindrops pattering softly onto the glass pane he leans on, but when he feels you move again, he turns his head again and notices the way you've now brushed your hair to rest on one side of your shoulder. The clasp of your necklace sits prettily on your neck, making Mark realise you dressed up more than usual today.

Don't get him wrong, you looked gorgeous in anything you wore (much more when you were wearing his clothes, he would debate), but what catches his eyes is the way your shirt lightly raises the more you lean forward. Granted only Mark is privy to see such exposure of your skin; let alone your back, but his mind gets the best of him and before he can stop himself, his hand reaches out to lightly graze his hand over your waist.

You jump a little at how light Mark's touch is, but you don't pull away from your argument — whatever it was about with Jaehyun — to look at Mark.

Mark's a little dazed and empty-headed when he focuses on your skin against his palm. It's not like he was looking to start anything, he loved holding you. Maybe physical touch was his love language, but he liked having you near him. You did too, but Mark enjoyed it maybe a tad bit more.

When you finally scoot back to be closer to Mark after concluding who had won this match, you rest your back against Mark's chest and he locks you close to him, the hand that had been tracing random patterns on your skin only slid to the front of your body to hug you. Mark quietly watched the next game of tic tac toe begin between Taeyong and Jaehyun.

Looks like you won both of the bets; even if no money was involved.

You laugh at something Jungwoo says and Mark feels your laughter through your body against his and soon, like most days, he's smiling against the top your head, leaving light kisses on it.

The four boys get caught up in their game, demanding another rematch, this time between Yuta and Jungwoo.

When you tell them to handle this game on their own, Mark volunteers to play the next match against Taeyong.

Although Mark would prefer a quiet day in spent with you with movies being played in the background while the both of you lazed around in your most casual attire, he couldn't lie that moments with his friends and you were just as good.

His favourite people with his person; his most adored person in his world as of right now. He wouldn't want it any other way.

[dumbseee]

bro code. pt.2

part two of this

part 3.

carlos sainz jr x reader.

fc: bruna marquezine.

note: thanks for the support it means so much to me! and english is still not my first language so this may contain mistakes krkrkr

liked by bellahadid, georginagio, carlossainz55 and 1 889 009 others.

y/n: your girl is single and ready to mingle.

_

fan1: girl what about carlos?

georginagio: stunning!

fan2: who was the man in your ig story?

fan3: omg the girl just got out of a seven years old relationship, LEAVE HER ALONE!!

fan4: y/n is her own person, she don’t need a man

liked by y/n.

carlossainz55: que guapa!

liked by y/n.

"so you asked him to be your fake boyfriend?" bella asked, trying her best not to laugh at your face. you rolled your eyes and threw a pillow at her. "yes, i did. and he was okay with it." you answered but added something else when you saw the look she was giving you. "okay, maybe i had to convince him a little bit and bribe him with a movie date but he said yes!" bella laughed. "he’s so in love with you, of course he said yes." you frowned. "no he’s not. i’ve known carlos forever, we’re just friends." you said, trying to convince your friend but she already stopped listening to you.

you met carlos through neymar, they weren’t close friends, only acquaintances, but you immediately clicked with the spaniard. he was funny, trustworthy, kind and charming. you liked him a lot, but only as a friend, right? you thought that this fake dating stunt would help you a lot because neymar didn’t know how to take no as an answer and kept harassing you. you explained the situation to carlos and he immediately said yes, kinda pissed off at your ex’s behaviour after what he put you through. the plan was simple, soft launch the relationship since the fans were already shipping the both of you, go on a few public dates and do this for a few months, so neymar would finally leave you alone.

simple right? well…

y/n just posted a story!

caption: guess who ☺️

liked by y/n, charles_leclerc, landonorris and 969 000 others.

carlossainz55: this account is going to be a y/n fanpage starting from now.

_

y/n: carlos clearly lied when i asked him if he knew what soft launch was BUT you’re cute so i’m not mad, amor

fan1: NZKDODODJZBDODPDPFPMF

fan2: MAMA Y PAPA

fan3: SMOOOTH OPERAAAATOOOOR

fan4: i know neymar is fuming rn

fan5: omgg congrats

fan6: carlos is such a cutie omg

"what’s wrong, mi cielo?" carlos asked you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. you were lost in your thoughts so you shivered at his touch. you smiled at him, "it’s nothing, just tired."

you were both sitting in carlos’s car, after having dinner together in some fancy restaurant carlos wanted to take you to. neymar was constantly calling you and sending you text messages, which you ignored but it was slowly taking a toll on you. he destroyed everything you both built in seven years, he destroyed your hopes for marriage and love, he basically destroyed you. and he still had the nerves to cling onto you like he was the victim.

"amor, you look pale, you sure you okay?" carlos asked again and you just looked at him while he stroked your cheek softly, you leaned against his touch and closed your eyes. "your hands are soft." you mumbled, slowly falling asleep. you heard him chuckle and remove his hand which made you complain. "kiss me." you immediately opened your eyes and looked at him. but when you noticed some paparazzis in the corner of your eye, you remembered that all of this was fake. he was being affectionate because cameras were filming you. you didn’t know why but you were nervous to kiss carlos. you’ve never been that close and he looked so… confident all the time. you were scared to mess it up. it’s fake, it’s all fake, don’t forget that.

carlos pulled you closer to him, and slowly kissed your lips, your cheeks were burning hot and you didn’t know what to do next. suddenly you were back in high school when you had your first kiss with your crush. after a few seconds, the two of you broke the kiss but stayed close to each other. eye to eye, carlos smiled at you and looked at your lips once again. "kiss me again." he said, in a murmur. "what? but they-" carlos cut you. "shut up and fucking kiss me."

the second kiss was more passionate, you never felt anything like it in your whole life. no one had ever kissed you the way carlos had. your hands were sweaty and you could feel a million of butterflies blooming in your stomach. that’s when you realised; you were doomed.

liked by f1lover, smoothoperator55, ferraribaby and 58 007 others.

f1news: BREAKING! We just received pictures of Carlos Sainz Jr and Y/N L/N kissing in the spaniard’s car. What a cute couple!

_

fan1: ODBDLOWLWPDPD

fan2: what in the booktok is that

fan3: the hand placements…

fan4: idk if i want to be y/n or carlos tbh

fan5: my fav couple

fan6: pls don’t ever breakup

fan7: NEYMAR DEACTIVATED HIS IG???

_

tag list: @ru-kru @slytherheign @iamahallucinationnn @leclerc16s

[jude-duarte-wannabe]

husband material

it is finally here! as promised my loves <3

so to keep my formula one girlies satisfied and fueled, i put this together until my university work slows down for a bit which may be a little hard since this term we are covering all the theory topics of my business degree like accounting and law, i'm sorry my lovely's <3 i will try and write when i can but it's literally only week one and i've already got three assessments due next week <3

pairing; lewis hamilton x phoebe windsor [original character]

blurb; this is a list of cute things husband lewis hamilton and his wife phoebe windsor with features from their daughter sage hamilton do in my smau series that i'm working on called the billion dollar baby, this story features a original character but for your reading pleasure, i've used 'you' and 'y/n' in this little snippet <3

currently playing; my love mine all mine by mitski "cause my love is mine, all mine, i love mine, mine, mine. nothing in the world belongs to me but my love mine, all mine, all mine"

how you two met;

you are friends with my original character broadway actress marceline 'marcy' bennett [from my story broadway bug] who is dating charles leclerc.

you've been best friends for the past fifteen years of your lives and you attended the silverstone race with her, hanging out in the ferrari garage most of the time.

you met lewis when you ran into roscoe and stopped to pat him due to you being a dog lover and having one yourself.

marcy ended up introducing you to lewis, who was absolutely floored the very first time he met you.

and i'm talking speechless, stumbling over his words and weak in the knees down bad for you [the way i want this]

when it comes to your jobs;

your relationship is secret for the longest time, you two love having a private relationship and just being in the moment with eachother so when your relationship is finally revealed to the world no thanks to paparazzi, you can finally support your husband at his races.

and when you can't make it to a race, you always send him the same text message.

your often filmed at races in the garage jumping up and down.

he gives you a necklace with his race number on it but unknown to him you already have it tattooed on you.

your a singer and he often ends up helping you write lyrics even though your styles are completely different from eachothers.

he promotes your company that you have on the side selling bourbon, your company being called the chamomile company.

your company is a sponsor for whatever team lewis happens to be apart of, where lewis goes, your companies sponsorship follows.

whenever you are on tour and he can make it to a show, he's often filmed in the VIP tent yelling "that's MY wife"

and you two are often the paddock favs in your matching or mostly matching outfits. [i did my best]

whipped;

this boy is so utterly and completely whipped for you.

he is completely weak in the knees for anything that you do.

he's a utter gentleman and pulls out every chair and opens every single door for you.

he carries both your heels and your bags and sometimes when he's feeling extra loving he'll just carry you.

he steals your perfume when he leaves for the race season so that he can spray it the hotel pillows to make it seem like your with him, you always have to have two bottles for this very reason.

this man will not stop gushing about you, in interviews or in conversations with other drivers, george is begging him end of season to just shut the hell up.

he is in love with your voice and will often call you at any time of the day just to hear you talk.

before you two even started dating, he was told of your love of flowers my marcy and sent them to you all the time and he kept doing it long after you got together and even after you got married.

you've just come to expect random surprise bouquets at this point, you have a whole instagram story highlight dedicated to the bouquets you've gotten.

kisses, cuddles and all thing cute;

lewis will often wake you up with kisses along your shoulders and back.

if your standing together and his hands on your hips, it's almost always likely that his thumbs are under your shirt hem and gently rubbing your skin.

cheek kisses galore, whenever he passes you in fact.

belly kisses, even before you were pregnant, he would just lay between your legs and kiss at your belly imaging what you would look like pregnant.

whenever you've been apart for long amounts of time, whenever you see him again, your sprinting to get to him and just so eager to have his lips on yours.

random surprise kisses are a definite.

and if lewis is cuddling you from behind standing or laying in bed, he's bound to be nuzzling against your neck, placing sweet little kisses the skin.

he kisses all of your tattoos and even sometimes traces them in content silence and peace.

you will also do the same with him from time to time.

you two are always holding hands and you both find it bittersweet to let go.

if your sitting next to lewis and your tried from a long day of travel, your head is resting on his shoulder while he plays with your hair.

sudden hugs from behind from both of you are a thing, one time you surprised him at a race and when you hugged him from behind, lewis freaked out but calmed down as soon as he heard your soft whispered "i love you lew"

your a stomach sleeper and lewis will just lightly run his fingers up and down your spine while you sleep.

there is moments when your face is squished in between lewis fingers while he kisses your cheek.

you both grew up in england and so if one if you wakes up before the other, you make eachother proper english tea.

when he cuddles you from behind while just standing around in the garage and the camera captures you wriggling in his arms.

"ugh.. bub stop moving" lewis would whine and pull you tighter in his grip to which you would protest but stop when he says "you feel too good in my arms to let go just yet" while he nuzzles against your cheek.

when you two are both on a break and this man wants to get out of bed early, you can bet you are dragging his ass back to bed "not today you don't" with a cute grumpy look on your face.

THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE!!!

you often have to stand on your tippy toes to kiss lewis and sometimes if your in the garage, a mechanic will give you a step stool so you can kiss or even just hug him properly.

lewis is the kind of husband to always give you the first bite of his food cause he knows you want to try it but just won't admit it.

you will pull lewis in by his jacket to kiss him.

he'll blast your music in the garage.

if he comes home during a break from the race season but you had errands to run, lewis will often find notes like this.

if lewis gets bored which can happen really easily and he texts you but doesn't get a response, the texts will often get cute aggressive, like if your in a meeting and your phone is on silent once it's over you often show your manager the texts and how peeved lewis gets over you not answering him for an extended period of time.

and there was a moment after you moved in with him and you guys were in your honeymoon phase that you were so excited to spend the first day in your now shared home together that you woke him up by jumping on the bed, yelling "get up, get up, get up! it's a very pretty morning!" but lewis who had come home late the previous night from a sponsorship event just put his hands on your legs as you stood over him to stop you from jumping around, gazed up you with soft sleepy eyes and muttered "do you know what else sounds real pretty... sleep" and then he tugged you back down and wrapped you in a cuddle.

the animals;

roscoe is a cuddler and often intrudes on your intimate moments or romantic cuddles cause he feels left out.

you two are dog parents well before becoming real parents but even your dogs have different vibes.

and before you met lewis you were a cat mum too, to a calico cat named boba who seemed to inherit your adhd and hyperactivity, you know this by the video's lewis will send you of her when your away on tour or just cause she was being strange per usual.

nicknames + cute things lewis says;

lewis's nicknames for you include; mama, sweetcheeks, baby girl, little one, wifey, mrs hamilton and my personal fav bub.

your nicknames for him include; papa bear, baby boy, lew, hubby and my lifeline.

when lewis get's approached by your fans and they ask "are you-" this man won't even let them finish their sentence before he's very proudly blurting out "hell yeah i am... i'm y/n's husband"

down and dirty;

you wearing lewis's clothes is one of his biggest turn on's.

there is no quickies with lewis, this man likes to take his time.

he is in love with your legs.

panty band snaps, he loves hearing you squeal every time he does it.

the both of you are suckers for praise.

another turn on for him is when you wear his clothes for an extended period of time and then end up smelling like him.

he loves being able to eat you out, he'll drop to his knees just about anywhere.

and let's finish on a cute note with family;

lewis is very over protective when your pregnant, if your walking through the paddock or a high traffic area or anywhere basically, he's got you tucked tightly against his side and if your sitting, his hand will always be on the bump.

he dedicates his race wins to you and your daughter; sage.

roscoe is sage's own personal bodyguard, roscoe loves that little girl so much that while you were pregnant, he would lay with his head resting on your belly like he knew his future best friend was growing within.

he'll often message you during the season asking for bump updates while your pregnant with sage but it turns out that you happen to be pregnant at the same time as marcy and so lewis will often get a picture of your bumps together and because he and charles are teammates at this point, he'll chuckle and show charles the photo who just has this lovesick smile on his face.

and i think it's safe to say that sage is a daddy's girl through and through, in fact she has lewis wrapped around her little finger even if it does scare the crap out of him the minute she shows an interest in racing.

i hope you guys enjoyed and feedback is very much welcome, love you lovely's <3

[luveline]

Ok Derek angst what about a non-bau gf getting jealous of his flirting with Garcia? Bc ngl if my bf did that with a girl who I hadn’t met I would be super upset and then May be his gf meets Garcia and realizes she’s a girls girl and super sweet? Idk u can take it any direction

ty for your request ♡ fem!reader

You don't want anything to do with Penelope Garcia. Honestly, you wouldn't ever meet her if you had your way, but you're level-headed enough to know that she's important to Derek. Integral to his life. It's a miracle you put off meeting her as long as you had. 

At first, you genuinely thought she was Derek's mom. He always ended calls with, "Love you, mama." It was only a few weeks ago when he shook things up to say, "I love you, babygirl," did you look up from the book on your thigh to ask who it was.

"Penelope," he'd said, like he was confused. "Who'd you think?" 

You shrugged noncommittal, earning yourself a hair pet and a kiss. You lay awake that night wondering if you got it wrong. You'd heard a hundred stories about her and felt reluctantly fond, but now? Your boyfriend calls other girls pet names, what do you do about that? What can you? 

You ignored it. And now you have to meet her. 

She doesn't seem as nefarious as you've imagined her, springing from her seat at the cafe table to hug you. "Hi! Oh my god hi! I can't believe I'm finally meeting you, I've never been this happy in my life! You're so pretty!" 

You wince at her arms thrown over your shoulders but reciprocate. You aren't a total bitch.

"Thank you," you say. She smells like coffee creamer and hairspray. She pulls away to beam at you, her lips painted a shiny, pretty red. "It's nice to meet you. Derek has nothing but good things to say about you."

It sounds awfully formal, like you're opening a bank account with a teller who has a shared acquaintance. Derek gives you a look. You give him a look back, mutual confusion. She may be his best friend, but you don't know her (and what you do know you're jealous of, so). 

Derek takes your hand despite your off behaviour to show you off with pride, his teeth peeking from behind his lips milky white. "My two favourite girls had to meet eventually."

"I thought I'd be more jealous about coming second," Penelope says, eyes twinkling, "but I've never seen Derek so happy." Her voice turns scratchy like stretched linen. "He deserves the best, you know? And it's clear you're it. He's smitten."

"Maybe don't give up all my secrets, sweetheart," he says. 

Seeing them together chills your raging envy. There's a lot of love there, clearly, but the sexual tension you pictured is fictional. "Girl code, my love,'' Penelope says with a shrug. She winks at you. 

Insecurity nags at your skin like condensation on a cold window, "You've known Derek for nearly six years? Have you guys always been this close?" 

"Well, mister muscles here didn't bother remembering my name for the first couple of weeks that we worked together, so he deferred to pet names. And, you know, he's him," —Penelope gestures to him as if to say, behold, drawing a startled laugh from you— "and I'm me, so. I didn't want him to stop." 

"Hey, now." 

Penelope shakes her head at you. "He always does this." 

"If 'this' is stopping you from talking bad on yourself, babygirl, then yeah. I'll always do it." 

You feel clarity break, the sweet taste of relief and the muggier lick of shame. Derek and Penelope have a special friendship. That you knew before meeting her. She's made a huge, irreplaceable impact on his life, and Derek has clearly done the same. They aren't playing work husband and wife —there are reasons for their affections that go well beyond the surface flirtation. 

"I get it. Nobody ever called me anything so nice as Derek calls me," you confide. Derek's eyebrows leap up. You've never told him this; you're telling Penelope as a sort of apology, though she can't know that. "I never got asked out growing up. When he asked me on a date I thought he was trying to win a bet." 

Penelope's expression flickers with relief. There and gone, quickly replaced by sympathy. "Are you kidding? You're so pretty, Derek's lucky he got to you before someone else did." 

Derek kisses your cheek. His lips linger against the apple of it, your joined hands pulled instinctively to his firm torso. You might be imagining it, but Derek seems to know everything, so he probably knows the hill you've just climbed in your head. "Damn straight I'm lucky. I'm surrounded by beautiful, genius women. This is paradise for the modern man." 

You flush at his touch and praise. Penelope makes a pleased squeak. "Ooh, you guys are cute! You need to let me take a photo. This'll make a great printout for your wedding."

"Penelope." 

[h0efor2ho]

Hi, how are you?

May I request something about reader being best friends with The8 and secretly fucking/seeing Hoshi (his roommate) The8 catches reader riding him in their living room and instead of walking away The8 jerks off to them having sex

If you decide to write thank you and even if you don’t thank you for your work 💕

I'm so happy someone other then me is enjoying my work lol so thank you<3

2) I can not tell you how excited I got thinking about this!!

I started writing it at work in a email to myself I couldn't wait lol

I hope you enjoy!!

WC : 1.6K

TW : Voyeurism, Secret Boyfriend! Hoshi, Best Friend! Minghao, Jerking off, Unprotected sex ( wrap it up everybody ) Cream pie.

"We only have a hour" Hoshi moans into your mouth as he pulls you down onto his lap. You straddle him, your pretty sundress bunching up around your thighs as you settle again the bulge straining against his sweat pants. "He left 15 minutes ago" He says pulling back to pull off his shirt exposing his chiseled body to you. 

You can't help your hands from roaming over the plains of his defined muscles. "I hate sneaking around and lying to him" you say meeting Hoshi's eyes as you grip the bottom of your dress and pull it up over your head. "I know babe" He says with softness in his eyes. "But you know how he is. I don't know how he'll take it when we tell him we're dating. God look at you didn't even put panties on"  "There could be worse things" you say lifting up on your knees allowing Hoshi to slide his pants down around his ankles. "Yea there could be" He says gripping your hips "Like you not sitting your pretty pussy on my cock right now" He tugs you down gently. You grab his cock and guide him to your wet entrance. Coating his tip in your juices before slowly sliding down onto him till your completely full of him.

"F-Fuck" Hoshi moans out as you adjust to his length. It's not long before your bouncing up and down on his dick. The room filled with the wet sounds of your body meeting, your moans and his grunts. Your so lost in the moment you don't hear the front door open and close. You don't hear the sound of keys hitting the entry table, or the foot steps coming down the hall. 

"So this is the stuff you had to do that you couldn't come to the gym with me?" 

Your blood runs cold. You hault your movements, eyes going wide as you look at Hoshi, Who is already wrapping his arms around your back pulling you to his chest to shield you from view. You tilt your head and look over your shoulder and there stands your secret boyfriends roommate, your best friend Minghao. His eyes dark and his brows drawn together. 

"Geez man you scared me" Hoshi says looking over your shoulder. "I forgot my airpods and well I'm not the one fucking my best friend, who i told you was off limits I might add, in the middle of our living room" "Hao'" you softly say, his eyes looking at you "Don't Y/N. I told both of you that friends were off limits as fuck buddies. It gets messy and I don't want to have to chose" "but it's not like that" you say looking at Hoshi. "How is it not, your stuffed full of his cock right now I literally see it with my own eyes" Hoshi gives you a devilish smile. "It's different because we're actually dating" He says, looking past you to Minghao. You wish you could see the look on his face as he just gives you a "huh" you peel yourself from Hoshis chest, turning to face Minghao more. "It's true Hao. We've been together for 3 months now. I'm sorry we didn't know how to tell you"

You expect him to get mad, to yell at you guys for lying. What you don't expect is for him to walk over and sit on the couch next to you and Hoshi. "Well don't stop on my account." he says. "what?" you as, eyes going bit wide. They both look up at you. You feel both sets of eyes racking over your exposed body. Minghao looks at Hoshi than back to you. "Hao' here, well he likes to watch, as you can see" Hoshi says, you follow his gaze down to your best friends lap where his basketball shorts are currently being tented by his hard cock. Your eyes shoot back up to the wall behind the couch. "Ohhh" your boyfriend says "Don't you like that babe?" His hand coming up to grip your chin tilting it down to look at him.

"She most definitely clenched around my cock" he gives Minghao a sideways glance before looking back at you "You like that idea? Minghao watching as I fuck you?" Your walls again involuntary squeeze Hoshis dick. You can't deny the idea pools heat in your stomach. "Yea she does" before you know it he's pulling you down into a needy kiss. His hands sliding down to your hips, gripping them as he gently starts to rock you back and forth. Hoshi pulls away slightly. "What do you say pretty. Can Hao' watch as I make you cum? I know you like the idea of being watched. I can feel how wet you're getting" You glance down at your best friend, who is now trying to subtly rub his cock through his shorts. You cant hold back any more "Yes" you moan out, rocking your hips in rhythm with Hoshi's hands. 

Before you know it Hoshi was you spun around, your back pressed to his chest and he rams his cock up into you. Across from you Minghao has his cock in his hand. You cant help but look at his hand pumping up and down his long cock. Pre cum oozing from the pretty pink tip. He's moving his hand in time with Hoshi's thrust's up into you. You watch as his slender fingers grip his shaft on the down ward tug. How he's trying not to thrust his hips up into his hand. How he's biting his bottom lip to keep from moaning to. You watch as his pumps pick up speed, becoming a bit erratic. Just at that moment Hoshi's hand snacks across your stomach to dip and find your clit. Rubbing tight circles on your nerve. "Come on and show Hao' what it looks like when you cum baby" he says into your shoulder. 

Your hips start to meet his thrusts, just as Minghao's reserve breaks and he starts to thrust up into his hand. His head falling back as he lets out a groan. "Fuck" he says. His eyes coming back to look at where you and Hoshi's body meets. "You take his cock so well" The coil in your stomach becoming tighter and tighter as you watch your best friend jerk off to you and your boyfrind fucking. Your walls begin to tighten, Hoshi knows you're close, angling his thrusts he hits the spot inside you that has you seeing stars. "fu-fuck" you cry out as you tighten around his cock. 

Your thrust over the edge, your release running down his cock as he begins to slam into you. His thrusts determined. You watch as Minghaos eyes are glued to your cunt. "Shit" he moans right before his abs tighten and streams of hot cum shoot from the tip of his cock coating his hand and abs. Hoshi slams into you one more time before he still. "Fuck fuck!" he shouts as his cock twitches inside you, coating your walls in hot sticky cum. You close your eyes, trying to regulate your breathing. Hoshi's arms wrapped around you, his face nuzzled into your neck. When you open your eyes, Minghao is gone. 

You start to panic for a moment, afraid you just ruined your friend ship between not only you and him, but him and Hoshi as well. A moment later you hear his footsteps as he rounds the corner. A warm wet rag in his hand. He makes his way over handing it to Hoshi, who slowly pulls out of you and onto his lap. Using the rag he helps clean you up. Minghao takes a seat back on the couch, looking at the both of you. A smile warms his lips. Silence settles over the room, heavy but not uncomfortable. The air still hums with the remnants of what just happened, an unspoken understanding hanging between the three of you. Hoshi presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder before moving to clean himself off, while Minghao watches, his smile lingering but unreadable.

"Well," Minghao says again, tilting his head as if processing the moment. His gaze flickers between you and Hoshi before he leans back into the couch, one leg crossing over the other. "That was... unexpected." You swallow hard, still catching your breath. Your mind races with a thousand thoughts—Was he upset? Was this a mistake? Had you just ruined something you didn’t even realize needed protecting? Hoshi, still warm against you, chuckles softly, his fingers tracing idle patterns on your skin. "You’re acting like you didn’t enjoy it." Minghao huffs out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. "I didn’t say that." He pauses, his gaze settling on you. "Are you okay?"

The sincerity in his voice sends a strange warmth through your chest. You nod slowly, adjusting your position against Hoshi, who holds you a little closer. "Yeah," you murmur. "I’m okay." Minghao studies you for a moment longer before nodding, seemingly satisfied with your answer. Then, he shifts, stretching his arms above his head before letting out a breath. "Well, now that we’ve crossed that line… what happens next?" The question hangs between the three of you, heavy with meaning. You glance at Hoshi, who meets your eyes with a knowing look, before turning your gaze back to Minghao. "I guess that depends," you say softly.

Minghao smirks, the sharpness of it softened by the warmth in his expression. "Depends on what?" You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment. "On what we want this to be." The room falls into silence again, but this time, it's not uncertainty that lingers, it's anticipation.

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