#plural guide

[finelythreadedsky]

it always makes me smile when scholars in academic writing refer to the hypothetical reader with she/her. "let the reader experience the battle as if it was unfolding right before her eyes". "a reader accepting her own historicity". "gives the reader the impression that she is following the events". "when a student is asked to write an essay on the aeneid she will normally be encouraged to read some modern criticism". like yeah i see you. i know you did that for me.

[tanix-dragon]

Is That a New Guy or Am I Losing My Mind; or, A Beginner's Guide to Finding Headmates

Written by Roger de Camden of the Draconic Wizard Workshop

Hello, everybody! This is an essay for both plurals who might struggle finding, identifying, or confirming headmates, as well as people who are questioning whether or not they’re plural. Certain pieces of advice may apply better to questioners than established systems, and vice versa, but rest assured, it is intended for both!

This essay will be broken into several sections for various “phases” of discovery and working things out, but a disclaimer before we get to that: this is heavily based on our own experiences. This is not a one-size-fits-all kind of guide. I’m going to try to make it such, but, well, I can’t make any promises, because there are infinite ways of being a system out there, and everyone’s a little different. This is just what I’ve found works for us, and, to a large extent, many of our system friends! That being said, if you try to start syscourse or invalidate other systems for any reason in response to this essay, I’m going to block you and that’s that.

Also, sorry if I go between spellings for words. I’m English, but the body is American and that means that I don’t know how to spell certain words anymore.

So! Onwards, towards discovery!

Step One: Getting an Inkling

The first step to figuring out whether or not you’ve got a headmate (new or otherwise undiscovered; I’ll mostly be calling them “new” as in “new to you”) is having an inkling that one might exist. This is mostly a passive process, and you’re probably familiar with it if you’re reading this guide. Maybe you felt something scuttle through headspace (if you have one) or through the back of your mind. Maybe you felt a presence looming behind you, mentally, that bolted when you “looked.” Maybe you had a very strong emotional reaction to something that makes no sense for you to react to, but would make sense for a character you’ve been really attached to in a show. Or maybe you slipped into an unfamiliar accent, had a loss of memories and woke up with nail polish on in a colour you hate, or just felt an opinion about something that doesn’t match your usual one. Sometimes, you may even “hear” comments about things going on in your mind.

There are a lot of little things that can tip you off. Most of them are going to be things that are misaligned with your own perception of yourself, your opinions, and your behavior. This is usually a sign that someone is co-conscious or co-fronting with you without you being aware of it. Some headmates are very sneaky this way, and some may not realise that they exist at all while doing this! Don’t hold being hard to notice or get a hold of against your headmates—many of them don’t realise that they exist, don’t know how to not be this way, or are doing it for what they perceive to be a good reason (this last one is especially common in disordered systems). Maybe they’re scared, or just not ready to be confronted yet. Don’t worry—remember, you have your whole lives to figure out everyone who’s in there, and the time will pass anyways! Take it easy.

One specific thing that tends to tip us off to a new fictive is that we realise that… no one is aware of running a character that we’re playing in a tabletop roleplaying game. Maybe someone started off running them, but they sure seem to be doing their own thing now! That character may be hard to “turn off” or “put on the shelf” when you stop playing them—and they may continue to make comments and have opinions about things in your life. This is a dead giveaway! Sometimes when we think about a character, we feel a “movement” or interest somewhere in our mind that doesn’t match anyone else’s pattern of thinking or interests, which also can be a giveaway that they’re scuttling around somewhere. Also beneficial, for us, is our synesthesia—every headmate has a colour associated with them, and when we get a thought pattern that seems to match someone but the colour is off, it can make us realise that maybe there’s someone else in here. For example, if someone were to be really interested in jellyfish, we might think that it’s Caspian, but if the colour comes back as red and not blue, then we know for certain that it’s not him.

This first inkling of a new headmate may be obvious or it may be subtle. You may question yourself repeatedly, but remember: if you feel like you are “accidentally faking,” that’s not how faking works. Faking must be done intentionally and on purpose. You could be wrong, yes, but being wrong isn’t inherently bad. It’s just that you were mistaken about something. Nothing wrong with that! We’re all mistaken about all kinds of things every day! Be kind to yourself while trying to figure things out.

Step Two: Are You There, Headmate? It’s Me, Your Other Headmate

Steps two and three are interchangeable in order, but I thought I’d put this one first because it tends to be the one that’s hardest and most distressing, rather than step three, which is about identifying who the hell your headmate is. We’ll get to that, never fear!

So, let’s say you think there might be someone in there. How can you tell for sure? How can you open communication? How can you get them integrated okay?

The bad news is that this depends heavily on the system. The good news is that there’s no need to panic, rush, or be afraid, because once again, you’ll figure it out eventually, and it will be okay!

My first suggestion is to take note of everything that’s made you think there might be someone else in there. Write it down, if that helps! Write down everything that seems to get the entity’s attention, if anything. Write down anything that might help you identify who it might be! In some instances, you might have a character that seems a little independent but you can’t tell whether they’re really a headmate or not. In my experience, this is often how many non-disordered systems (but it’s not exclusive to them!) realise that they’re plural. Knowing who it is will make this step easier, but it isn’t necessary! After all, if you know who it is, you can also write down things that might bait them into responding. Interests and friends of theirs are good examples.

Your goal in this step is to try to draw them out into doing things, speaking, or acting in ways that will give away that they are for certain there. For systems with heavy amnesia or dissociative barriers, this might be significantly harder, but my best suggestion there is to jump straight to trying to communicate, however you can—and this isn’t a bad approach for other systems, either. You can try internal communication, although you might get no response, or an abnormal one, if the headmate is new. For example, with us, new headmates usually respond to direct queries with anxiety—which, while not good for communication and not ideal for the headmate in question, does help us key in on the fact that they definitely exist. You can also try external communication, if internal communication isn’t working or is difficult for you. Write a note in a journal or a sticky note, or even in a notes app or a private Discord server. Sometimes, headmates can find replying over text to be easier. If you’re a high-dissociation and high-amnesia system who is trying to figure out if it’s someone old or new who is fronting and doing things while you’re unaware, leaving sticky notes places asking people to write down who’s fronting when they see it (if they even know who they are) might be helpful. Keep experimenting, and do what works best for you!

As a last resort for uncertain, new, or inexperienced systems, you can try something called “puppeting” on a suspected headmate, especially if you know who they are and just aren’t sure whether or not they’re here. A warning: this is rude and not advised under most circumstances, but sometimes it’s the only way to make absolutely sure that someone is in there with you, especially when you’re not used to it. Have an apology ready and mean it. Puppeting is when you try to force a headmate to do something, especially something unusual or out of character for them. For example, if I thought I might have my character Gorka as a headmate, but I wasn’t sure, I might try to call up a scenario involving Gorka and then try to imagine her doing something wildly out of character, that she would never, ever do. If I couldn’t get a response out of that, or if I had no idea who this new headmate might be, I might just try to make them physically do something—strongly imagining them doing a stupid dance or similar! No response doesn’t necessarily mean you do or do not have a headmate, but a strong response—usually of anger, offense, or “slapping” your “hands” away—indicates someone separate from yourself! Apologize immediately and then attempt to engage in communication once they’ve calmed down a little, or try to transition into it through an explanation. 

There are a lot of reasons that a headmate might not respond to puppeting, though. They might be non-confrontational, or hiding their presence from you intentionally for any number of reasons. (Maybe they’re nervous, not ready to exist yet, afraid of how you might respond, afraid of accepting that they’re in a system—it could be anything.) In cases like this, you might just get discomfort instead of a strong response, which is easy to confuse for being your own rather than theirs. Try to sort out whether you just feel strange doing it, or if it’s someone else’s discomfort bleeding through. I know it’s hard, but that’s a difficult thing to give advice for, I’m afraid! Other reasons may be that they just dip from the front when you try (removing themself from your sphere of influence completely), or if they’re a character you frequently play, they might be so used to being pulled around into doing things that it doesn’t bother them, or bothers them so little that you don’t notice.

Usually, if you’re at the point of trying puppeting, there’s enough signs that this person really is a headmate to dissuade you from trying it once you’re a little more used to it. It’s a temporary and unideal tool that should leave your toolbox as soon as you become confident enough to identify new headmates without getting grabby with them. Undoubtedly, trying to establish communication is a better approach, if you can get it to work.

Usually, once we’ve properly spotted a headmate and made it clear to them that we know they’re there, one of two things happens: either they come sit in the front for a few days or weeks to settle in, let us identify them, and get used to being a full active member of the system, or they realise that they exist and have a panic attack. This “new headmate panic” can last anywhere from a few minutes to multiple days, and may fluctuate in strength. Sometimes, a new headmate might seem fine early on, but have this panic after a few days, weeks, or even longer. Be gentle during this time, especially if you yourself have a strong reaction—be gentle with both, or all, of you! Realizing that you’re in a system can be very distressing, as can realizing you have a new headmate, so try to be gentle, let yourself feel what you’re going to feel, and work through it in the best way you have. Try not to direct any anger or negative feelings towards anyone else in your system during this time, and just let the storm pass before really trying to get to know each other.

Step Three: Who Is This Guy, Anyway?

Once again, you can do this step before or after step two, but I put it here because I decided to include some tips for getting to know your headmate, not just identifying them (if there is anything to identify). If your system is introject-heavy, or if you’re asking yourself if you’re just really interested in a character or if they’re a new headmate, this is an important step! Who is this? Are they an introject of some kind? Are they something or someone else? Is there anything to identify, per se, or is it just a situation of getting to know a whole new person? This is a very, very different step depending on your system, and is going to skew very much towards my own experiences. I’m sorry about that, but I will do my best!

If you’ve already established communication with this headmate, even if it’s shaky, you can try to get information from them that way. They might be willing to give you a name, a code name, a colour, an aesthetic, likes or dislikes, something you can use to familiarise yourself with them or identify them from a list of “suspects” if you have such a thing. (We always do, because we’re almost all fictives, and we know our own patterns at this point.) For us, new headmates almost never actually identify, and just sullenly sit while trying to figure themselves out and will only confirm who they are once we figure it out. It’s sort of like playing a mystery game, assembling clues based on a myriad of factors. If you have some suspicions, just like the previous step, you can try to bait out responses by doing things that might interest who you suspect this headmate might be.

Again, I suggest writing things down! Write down likes and dislikes, things that get their attention, interests, even things that make them anxious or afraid. Whether it’s a case of identification or just getting to know them, this is invaluable information for interacting with someone sharing a head with you, and it may even be helpful for them as they get their feet under them.

Another invaluable tool is talking to people outside of your system. They can help you identify when you’re acting unusually, when you might have someone unfamiliar riding co-conscious, and even who that person might be. You may be too tangled up in your own feelings, your dissociation, or the desperation to understand who is in your head with you. It’s easy to get lost in the weeds and lose sight of the big picture, but another friend, especially another system that knows you well, can be extremely helpful! One of our system friends has clocked many a headmate of ours before we were even certain they were there—just “hmm, you’ve been very much like X lately” and they were absolutely right. 

Regardless, taking notes on your new headmate, asking them about themselves, and sharing things about yourself are all important steps to getting to know them! They may be uncomfortable, they may distrust you, they may be afraid—or they could be friendly and excited to be here! It really depends on who it is and their comfort level. Don’t push—if they’re not comfortable talking yet, don’t make them! Let them adjust at their own pace and get to know them as they’re willing to let you. I know it can be distressing to have a totally unknown entity co-fronting with you, but sometimes it’s one of those things that you have to take a deep breath and carry on through until they’re willing to talk. I know you can do it! Talk through it with someone outside of your own head if it’s difficult to give yourself some fortitude if you need to. I know it helps me.

Step Four: Now What?

Let’s say that you’ve confirmed that you do have a headmate, and either have or are on the road to identifying them, if applicable. Now what?

As I’ve said before: be gentle with yourselves! Especially for a new or inexperienced system, and especially for someone who is just realising that they’re a system, this can be overwhelming, distressing, or any other number of emotions. Remember that having or gaining headmates isn’t inherently a bad thing, and while this all might take some getting used to, it’s going to be okay. You’ll figure out an equilibrium eventually, and it is absolutely possible to live a long, happy life with your headmates. Remember that you’re all in this together, and you’re a team.

People may not want you to notice them, may not want to be in the system, or may avoid attention as best they can for a lot of reasons, and trying to make them feel at home, or at least more comfortable, is essential. It can be scary being in a system all of a sudden, especially if they’re an introject or otherwise had a life outside or before this one. Maybe they don’t like the body, or are afraid of another headmate, or are terrified of a negative response from you or someone else. Don’t force these people into situations they’re not ready for! If you’re looking for someone, trying to identify them, or trying to help them, and you’re just causing a lot of distress, back off for a while. Let them calm down and come to you in their own time. Sometimes, you have to do the system equivalent of leaving cookies out on a plate and turning your back to them so that your new headmate can take them without being watched. Take things at the pace that you’re all the most comfortable with, and as always, be kind.

I really do suggest talking to someone about this process, if you can. Journal if you’d like, especially if you can’t trust anyone with this, or don’t feel comfortable doing so yet. Getting your words out of your head helps you sort them out a lot, especially in the case of systems, where a lot of people’s thoughts can get jumbled together. Writing them all down, even if you don’t know whose they are, can be helpful. We find that talking to other system friends is of the most benefit, and our new members are far more likely to speak to them first rather than us, because there’s a degree of separation and that’s more comfortable for them. Whatever works for you, do it! The idea is to get comfortable with each other, and with being here together.

Find things that your new headmate likes doing. Goratrix has a whole panel about this aimed at fictives, but essentially, if your new headmate doesn’t have reason to front and isn’t interested in anything, you probably won’t see much of them, and they may end up miserable. Make sure you engage with them and their interests. Let them make friends if they’d like. Get them snacks. Again: whatever works! This is going to depend very heavily on your system, so follow your gut instinct on this one, I think.

Absolutely essential, though, is to not repress anybody. I know sometimes getting a new headmate can be scary, especially if they’re unfamiliar, frightening, seemingly monstrous, or a persecutor, but remember: they’re probably just as freaked out as you are, if not more so, and they need patience and understanding. Statistically, if they’re doing something troublesome, they’re trying to help and just don’t know how, or are misguided on what “help” looks like. Be kind, and try to find a solution that works for everyone.

Past that… just get to know each other. Figure out how to live together and how to make your combined life the best life it can be. For us, there’s so many of us that someone new can almost always find a fast friend in someone else, and sticks with them for a while until they’re more used to the system and more confident fronting and doing things without their buddy. Other systems may be able to mimic this approach, or may need to do something very different. Again, again, again, do what works best for you! If parts of this guide seem unhelpful or counterproductive, ignore them! This is based on our experience of plurality, not yours. Always do what’s best for you, what helps the most of you, and what causes the least distress while still letting you function as much as you need to.

Being plural is a very personal experience, in a lot of ways, which is pretty funny because sometimes that personal experience is spread across two or twenty or five hundred people. It’s also a very personalized experience, meaning we’re all quite different. Your “now what?” might look very different from ours, and that’s okay. We can only do our best, and that’s always good enough.

I hope this is helpful to someone! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask, and I may edit this guide in the future if it seems that I left something out or think of anything to add. =)

[roseblog-rog]

Dog of War Changed My Life For the Better

Okay, I know a smut fic doing that sounds silly, but trust me this post is really important.

I wanna take a moment to talk about Mindcrank’s HDG fic Dog of War. Now I could go on and on about how well it’s written, how engaging the story is, how…hot it gets 😵‍💫…but that’s not what I’m here to do. No, I want to talk about the part that really helped me come to an important realization: Princess’ plurality.

//spoilers ahead for DoW up to the end of chapter 33

While not the center of the story, Princess’ plurality is an integral part of their character, being explored and explained throughout the fic. They were, as the fic has said, “two parts of one whole.” Now, to cut to the chase, the specific moment that woke me the fuck up was towards the end of chapter 31, where Princess and her other half “cut themselves in two.” The moment itself sent me into hysterics, prompting a full on panic attack and spiral. I was not only scared for Princess, actually having to contact a friend who had already read the whole thing to confirm her other half would come back, but also for myself.

Because you see, what made this moment so raw and powerful for me is that I too am plural. It’s a fairly recent realization, one that I am only just coming to terms with after reading this, but I did much of the same thing as Princess did. My alter, Skye, is the conglomeration and personification of years and years’ worth of repressed and stifled feelings. Emotions I hated having and experiencing, pushing them away in fears I would hurt someone. Being pushed down and getting cramped together for so long resulted in a fairly recent personification of these repressed emotions. It was terrifying, making it all the more likely I completely lose myself in the feelings, quite literally losing control of myself. Despite the personification, as well as the few times they fronted being almost completely non-harmful, I continued to push them away, down and down until I couldn’t feel their presence at all. I believed I hated them and everything they stood for, having intense trauma towards the feelings of anger and numbness that originally sparked Skye’s formation.

But when I read the moment where that same thing happens to Princess, seeing that split secondhand and not knowing if her other half would ever come back, I screamed out in pain. I realized I didn’t want to lose Skye, that we too were “two parts of one whole.“ I didn’t want to lose them, I don’t want to lose them. I was SCARED. When that breakdown ended, I finally realized that I couldn’t push my other half away anymore.

It will still be an arduous process of healing for the both of us, and it will definitely take a long time before they’re right up at the front with me, side by side, but it’s a start. And when Princess’ own other half came back, saying “we don't truly exist without both reflections, we can't be apart for long”, I couldn’t help but feel the same about myself. Or, I guess, my selves.

Long-winded ramble aside, I wanted to thank @magicalgirlmindcrank for not only producing an absolutely beautiful and incomprehensibly hot story, but also for helping me realize that I’ve been pushing my other half away for far too long. Words cannot describe how grateful I am.

And if anyone reading this is also plural, or going through a crisis of realization or something else of the sort, know that you are not alone. While the journey will be perilous, know that you too will find peace with your selves.

Thanks for listening, I really appreciate it.

[eeveecraft]

Possession: By a Tulpa for Tulpas

By: Arcanus of the Dragonheart System

Introduction

Possession is an optional skill in Tulpamancy that allows a tulpa to access the physical world; it gives a chance for a tulpa to experience things not curated or managed by their host or other system members. Thus, what is possession? For those uninformed, possession is quite simply the act of a tulpa or other system members taking partial or full control of the physical body while the previous person in control is still connected to said body. For many tulpas, this is our primary manner of accessing and interacting with the same world our hosts do, especially so for systems where the host is incapable of fully disconnecting from the body, often considered a highly important step for switching. As such, even possession itself is desired by many tulpas for this opportunity of interacting with the outside, with people who are not of the same mind and body, and to gain experience and develop as individuals.

Numerous possession guides are often created by hosts rather than tulpas or by a neutral viewpoint; there are very few possession guides designed by tulpas themselves who are capable of possession and wish to teach it to others. This guide is crafted by a tulpa who has existed as such for six years, and has been capable of possessing quite well for nearly as long. The aim with this piece is to guide other tulpas with this specific perspective in hopes of sparking a form of eureka moment for other tulpas that can be the flicker necessary to obtain this skill, and for tulpas who use solely nonhuman forms that may be uncomfortable with the idea of using a human body.

Preparation and Mindset

Before attempting possession, there are things to consider and prepare for. These preparations allow future training sessions for possession to be less vexing, and can aid in avoiding potential issues further down the line.

A primary thing a host and tulpa should obtain before practicing possession is the ability to have clear communication between each other, often in the form of vocality. Seizing control of the body is an action that requires both parties to communicate their feelings to each other consistently, especially when speaking about consent. Without clear communication, a situation can go awry or create a schism between the two parties. For example, imagine a tulpa possessing the body without informing the host first, causing bewilderment and fear within the host who had no inkling that the tulpa was going to possess. On the opposing side, picture a tulpa possessing and performing activities when the host snatches back control deliberately and without warning, and thus disrupts what the tulpa was doing. With both parties, this can cause unease and anxiety simply due a lack of communication and respecting boundaries.

To avoid this, both the tulpa and host need to speak with each other and mutually agree to the possession beforehand through means akin to vocality or even tulpish. If one member does not consent, then the other should not ignore the boundaries set by the other person. However, this does not mean a host should unreasonably prevent a tulpa from possessing. There are reasonable times to possess and situations where possession is not ideal where a host may state, "Sorry, now's not a good time because we're in public," and other circumstances that are unreasonable such as, "Sorry, but I don't want you doing this harmless thing." From personal experience, it can be quite thrilling to possess and experience existence in such a physical and lifelike sense, but it is best to show self-restraint and ask before attempting possession.

For further reading to learn about techniques to build communication and vocality, here are a few well-written guides:

Tulpamancy: Guide Into the Strange and Wonderful: Section 13: Vocality & Section 25: Methods of Communication

Tips for Hearing Your Tulpa

Quantum's Nametag Method

Clear communication often also requires the tulpa to be fairly developed, capable of making informed decisions without the host's input while also being mature enough to handle any possible outside world responsibilities. Fledgling tulpas have a tendency to be childish and emotional in nature, even being somewhat unstable in form and personality at times, as they continue to establish their identity with forcing sessions and experience. Therefore, a younger tulpa may not understand the importance of respecting boundaries, maintaining what are usually the host's responsibilities such as school or occupations, or may make emotional decisions in favor of logical ones. Harsh world experiences can also be stressful for the tulpa and negatively impact their development while they are still malleable and easily influenced, thus it is ideal for the tulpa to be developed to the point of their identity being mostly solidified, and where they have learned to manage their emotions in times of stress and hardship.

It must be specified that this advice is targeted towards more extensive possession sessions, sessions that may span hours, days, or longer. Shorter sessions within a controlled environment are more suitable for a less developed tulpa learning possession and do not require as much preparation and development from the tulpa.

How much time it takes for both of these to be met is subjective and has a high degree of variance between Tulpamancers. Both maturity and vocality can come with time, consistent forcing sessions, and patience. What is imperative is to not rush possession; possession is not a fleeting opportunity that is capable of vanishing at a moment's notice. Regardless of the system's age, possession is a skill that will always be available, thus do not feel the need to rush it or obtain it as quickly as physically possible. Nor should a Tulpamancy system feel as though they are obligated to learn possession. Though few in number, there are tulpas who are quite content with never being in control of the body, instead preferring to be imposed on the material plane or live their lives in a mindscape. Neither host or tulpa should be forced into learning a skill they do not wish to learn if they do not desire it within reason, however, it does not harm either to at least attempt possession once.

Finally, another common issue, specifically for hosts, is a sense of fear or anxiety when pondering the idea of the tulpa taking control. This fear is reasonable, especially with how possession and control swapping is often portrayed in many nations and cultures. In tandem with this, the host is often one who has spent their entire existence being the singular entity of the body; switching as a concept is a direct opposite of what the vast majority of humanity believes to be the sole way of existence, that each consciousness belongs to one vessel and is that vessel. There are some hosts who require self-introspection and must accept that they are not the body itself, but a single consciousness of multiple that happens to dwell within it.

Anxiety for switching can stem from pathological anxiety or this mindset of singularity, and thus not all Tulpamancy-specific advice may apply. Trust between both parties is critical when exchanging control, not simply that they will do no harm with the power they are given, but as a general rule. For both the tulpa and the host: trust in the tulpa to be responsible, and trust in the host to allow the tulpa to safely express themself without overstepping boundaries. Any and all concerns should be spoken about between both members and genuinely listened to, this includes doing whatever possible to negate any doubts or fears.

In conjunction with maturity, the ability to communicate properly, and dousing any fears and anxieties, another key factor in possession is the mindset of both the host and tulpa. It can be deceivingly simple to believe that possession is this archaic skill, possibly due to preexisting connotations of possession from various forms of media and how only supernatural beings are capable of performing this feat. Despite this, possession is not impossible to achieve, nor does it take years for most Tulpamancy systems to gain. Remember that both the tulpa and host exist within the same mind and body; both parties have access to the same neural pathways, and thus access to movement. As months become years, a tulpa eventually reaches a point to being on equal footing with the host, being a fully separate person capable of all the same feats the host is capable of and not simply some entity that can be willed away on a whim.

In addition to this, it is a highly prevalent and pervasive myth that the host must manually dissociate from the body to allow the tulpa to possess. Quite frankly, this is false, as many tulpas have proven to be capable of possession while the host is still fully connected to the body and is aware of what the body is doing. Mindset, however not being an absolute factor, can still majorly influence how quickly or slowly a skill in Tulpamancy is gained. Another belief that can stymie possession training is the belief that the tulpa is lesser, weaker, or simply less capable than the host. By doing this, the host is setting unnecessary limitations on the tulpa, which further slows skill development. When speaking about Tulpamancy, one should not think in absolutes, but instead keep an open mind for any possibility instead of denying or wholeheartedly believing a certain outcome will occur.

Thirdly and finally with possession myths, older guides often reference possession being this "alien" feeling when experienced, a sensation easily noticeable. In recent years, many Tulpamancers have started fervently exclaiming that possession will not feel alien and that it was merely an artifact from the past. As previously stated, believing in absolutes is often an unhelpful mindset in Tulpamancy. Despite the claims from either side, there are Tulpamancers who experience this "alien" feeling and others who do not. A possible explanation for this is a tulpa's presence and the sensation it gives when the tulpa possess, or perhaps this "alien" feeling is more common with tulpas with nonhuman forms that clash more with a human body when attempting to control it. Regardless of whether or not a system will experience this "alien" feeling is unimportant, as many believe this sensation alerts the host whether or not the tulpa is actually moving the body. If one is simply unsure if the body's movement was theirs or their tulpa's, they can simply verify it with the tulpa instead of merely guessing.

Once mentally overcoming these hurdles to the best of one's ability, possession is much more likely to be swift with ample progression and lowering the possibility of tribulations in the future.

Step-by-Step Process and Explanation

At last, the process of possession specifically for tulpas in the perspective of another tulpa. For the sake of brevity and simplicity, the possession strategy will be laid out in steps first, then the explanation will be placed after the method itself. Remember that this method is done solely in the perspective of the tulpa, however, the host at minimum should relax in whatever means they wish and simply allow the tulpa to go through the process.

Begin by connecting to the body's senses, look through the body's eyes, feel the gravity of the earth pulling downwards, take in any scents or sounds in the area, and even pay close attention to any flavors the mouth may be experiencing.

Hone in on a singular sense, whichever is desired. With the eyes, absorb every single detail possible, every color, every shape, their distance from the body, and more as an example. Or not simply feel the effect of gravity, but also the textures of objects or even the body itself, the temperature of the air or ground, and potentially even focus on negative sensations such as pain if they are present.

Entrench oneself in that specific sense until feeling completely absorbed by it, entranced to the point of losing awareness of one's form or anything else, even the thoughts of oneself or the host.

Become that sense, become the eyes, become the skin, the nose, the mouth, or ears. Not simply using the sense, but embodying that sense itself.

Once this step is complete, repeat the process with the other senses, slowly becoming them while remaining connected to the ones already focused on.

With every sense focused intensely on, attempt to move the body in some capacity. An example would be moving the eyes if the first step taken was to become sight.

Attempt to do this with the other senses and what they are related to. Move the body's arms, look around, take a deep breath, and listen to one's environment.

If the process was successful, the tulpa will be possessing the body.

Note how this strategy does not ask the host to "give up" the body or instruct the tulpa to flow their essence into the body unlike other possession guides. The mindset behind the method presented is guiding the tulpa to essentially synchronize with the body to the point of becoming one with it instead of a nonphysical person, becoming so lost with the world they are experiencing that they simply forget that they are a passenger in the metaphorical car. When honing in on or focusing highly on a sense, it can be possible for a tulpa to accidentally begin possessing what controls that sense. For example, a tulpa may be interested in what the host is eating, paying such close attention to the food that they begin to experience it physically, possibly even moving the mouth to eat without realizing it.

However, not all tulpas understand the idea of "connecting" to the body's senses, especially tulpas used to living their days in a mindscape. Quite simply, this can be done through intuition and trial and error, or through symbolic means that translate to the act of connecting. It boils down to: what seems logical? For every tulpa, this is highly subjective and there is no flawless method that can be taught.

One must also keep in mind that following these steps may not be successful the first attempt or even after multiple attempts. Rather, a tulpa may take time learning how to focus on a particular sense, or possibly learning how to focus so intently in any sense. One day may be a day filled with progress, but said progress is halted by a singular part, mileage will vary between systems.

Possession for Nonhuman Tulpas

Not every tulpa takes on a human appearance, or even an appearance that matches a human's general shape. Though a tulpa is not quite literally their form, there are some tulpas who are quite connected to their form in a sense either through means of identity or simply out of fondness for their appearance. For tulpas in this category, possession or fronting at all can be uncomfortable or possibly unpleasant due to the contrast between the body and the tulpa's form; this connection with the tulpa's form can also impact how they act whilst in control such as mannerisms, walking style, or even voice to a notable degree.

Common advice to counteract this is for the tulpa to temporarily take a human form when fronting to ease the bodily dysphoria, yet, there are tulpas who are uncomfortable with that idea and would prefer to avoid it. This section is intended for tulpas who are uncomfortable with changing their form just to front.

A simple way to ease the discomfort of body dysphoria is to accept any "quirky" fronting mannerisms, opting to embrace them instead of fully attempting to act like a human. Walking on toes, using hands in a way that is considered odd, even imposing one's own form over the body to whatever capacity within reason (typically known as "phantom limbs" if this includes adding otherwise nonexistent limbs). Unless it is necessary not to out the system as plural to others the system is not out to yet, allow oneself to be nonhuman in nature regardless of if they are currently using a human body.

Another method is to have the mindset of, "I am not actually a human, just a nonhuman taking control of a human body," much like the more fantastical definition of possession many are familiar with. This mindset can create a disconnect that may ease the dysphoria, especially for tulpas who solely identify as a singular or set form.

Choose articles of clothing or accessories that match the form or at minimum, mask the human shape such as hoodies or sweatpants. One can also avoid staring at the body in the mirror or undressing, but this can have the negative consequences of becoming more and more avoidant of the body, which is not ideal if one wishes to become at least somewhat accustomed with it.

Conclusion

Being able to control a physical body can be a wonderful opportunity to grow as a person, form relationships and bond with new people, and to have meaningful impact on the world. Possession in of itself may not be a tedious challenge, but it also may not be a breeze a tulpa and host can accomplish within a day. Remember that this guide and strategy are one of many; do not feel shackled to a particular method if it is simply not working out. Every host and tulpa's experiences with possession will vary to some degree, and that is the beauty of such a thing, as it allows for many to share their experiences and knowledge that can reach out to benefit others.

I do hope this guide aids my fellow tulpas.

Please consider supporting us on Ko-Fi if you found this guide useful.

This is a slightly improved iteration of my guide, as I was unaware that we had never posted it on this blog. However, the body of the content remains identical to the Tulpa.info and Tulpanomicon iterations of the guide.

7-21-2024

[goldmanguyperson]

a little message to my therian friends: Do not use the Therian Guide Forums.

The owner of the site, Dustwolf, is transphobic and supports it under the guise of “allowing free speech” as well as supposedly defending biology. Specifically, he is against and tacitly supports people who are against especially genders based around species, or who are otherwise outside of the binary and whatever could be considered in between. He did nothing about people arguing to me that they do not need to respect a person’s gender because of culture or (bad) biology.

He essentially told me that they deserve to have “free speech”. Told me that he was doing what he was to “protect the community”. Like, protect who? The bigots? Your small little bigoted group of therians? Really?

Other things—Sysmedicalism was endorsed by the previous owner (and also literal child predator and bestiality committer. he has since been banned but co owner Dustwolf remains as sole owner) LycanTheory. The wording he uses includes rejecting self diagnoses of disorders that go under the label of plurality, and asks way too much personal, even confidential information of systems—“why should we accept anybody’s claims of ‘plurality’ without a professional diagnosis or history of treatment”. r/systemcringe talking points get regurgitated there as well.

The forums also allow discussion of zoophilia while at the same time banning mention of consent, and i really hope i do not have to explain why this is pretty gross and dangerous.

Rejected and banned members on the forum get labeled as “human”. Disrespecting somebody’s identity for any reason is pretty disgusting. Don’t particularly care what theyve done to make people believe they should be treated that way.

Dustwolf and previous co-owner LycanTheory have advocated for therian seperatism and clearly look down on non-therians under the alterhuman umbrella. Dustwolf does so while simultaneously trying to dunk on feminism and “identity politics”.

I saw kids applying to be on these forums when i was first trying to learn about my otherkinity and found this website (it is considerably high up in search results relating to therian information). I am worried for them. Please warn people against using this website as best you can. The sense of community you might get there is just not worth the potential damage to your identity journey and emotional state.

A deeper look can be found at this link: https://invisibleotherkin.neocities.org/Resource-Masterlist/Therian-Guide-Beware

[cadence-the-hypnotic-floret]

So should I talk about my headmate or what. Cuz... Like... I'm plural, and one of my headmates is an Affini.

Believe me, if this strikes you as bizarre, I'm right there with you. It's weird to have a voice muddled in your head suddenly jump out onto the page (thanks Pluralkit) and start taking on thoughts and ideas that seem notably distinct from you. And distinctly identifies as an Affini. Yes, Diona Gracilis, 6th Bloom, lives in my head.

It is doubly weird when this headmate starts talking to another facet which feels like a more grounded part of you and starts making overtures at domestication. And it's not like the fact she's speaking to isn't really into it. (I have been informed in no uncertain terms that allowing this to happen is a very bad idea. I have, ironically, been advised to touch grass.)

We have distinctly mixed feelings about all of this. On the bright side, I now have a sense of what people mean when they talk about "Species Euphoria". Don't get me wrong, there are upsides to having a predatory hypnotic plant alien living in your head. It's just... concerning. Diona must be aspirational, because sadly, I cannot simply wave a vine and fix every problem. I can't always win. I cannot allow her confidence to push me into situations where I will hurt myself or others.

I'm going slightly mad, methinks. At least I'm having fun with it!

[adaginy]

The Big Guide to Humans: Mating — Reproduction, Sexuality, Genitalia, and Sexual Contact

In its basic unassisted sense, human reproduction requires one male and one female (see sex and gender; it is recommended to read that entry first). Each partner contributes half of the genetic material to create a new human, and that genetic material is roughly half of a copy of their own genes.

A male's internal genitalia produce millions of mobile packets of genetic material in a protein-rich nutrient gel, and the external portion serves as a tool to introduce it deeper into the female's internal genitalia. A female's internal genitalia produce a single packet of genetic material with a starting supply of cell building blocks, and offers a space for the male's mobile packets to meet and fuse with it, a process called fertilization. If this happens, the combined genetic information will latch into the female's circulatory system via the wall of this meeting place, and proceed to grow over the next 3/4 of a year into a human baby (see lifespan and development), enclosed within the female, who will become obviously distended. At the end of this time, her body pushes the completed baby out via the path between the internal and external genitalia. The female's external genitalia serve as a gate to this passage. There is a small window of time in which this fertilization is possible; only a few human sleep cycles. If this time is missed, the meeting place will cease preparations to contain a baby and remove its existing preparations, falling briefly fallow until preparing for a new fertilization window. This process takes approximately 28 human sleep cycles, depending on the female and how she has adapted to the local day/night cycle. The preparations-removal time can be uncomfortable for the female; do not be alarmed if you smell blood. In humans, both male and female external genitalia are also connected to the excretory system.

Humans categorize their within-species sexual attractions as being attracted to the same gender as themselves, a different gender (most common), or multiple genders. For some this may be an absolute barrier to an attraction outside of that category; others may consider themselves certain until they feel an unusual attraction to a particularly compelling potential partner. (It is also possible to have no attraction in this way at all.) This is usually, but not always, the same limitation applied to their romantic attractions; though the exceptions and sometimes-not-at-all applies to those as well. Whether a human requires/prefers romance to be involved with sexual contact varies by individual. See flirting for more on determining a human's romantic and/or sexual attraction. For humans whose attractions extend to other sapients, the "gender" barrier may be ignored, or they may (usually unconsciously) estimate how a non-human would map into the human gender chart and find their attractions limited by this assumption.

The rest of this chapter will assume you and a human have agreed to sexual contact. While this is not intended as a sexual manual, it is within this guide's mission to prevent surprises and ensure safe, successful interactions.

Process:

Human reproductive mating requires inserting the male's external genitalia (penis) through the female's external genitalia (vulva) and into the internal (vagina). However, nearly anything that can safely produce similar physical sensations can be enjoyable, and humans will also use their hands, mouths, and specially designed objects for the pleasure of non-reproductive mating.

The penis hangs relatively soft and small between a male's legs when not in sexual use; arousal will cause it to stiffen, enlarge, and stand approximately perpendicular to the body. It is sexually sensitive along its entire length, but particularly at the distal end, which is rounded and may be a different color. The internal genitalia are in a pouch underneath the penis. The pouch is also sexually sensitive, but delicate. The vulva is a series of skin-folds that reveal the entrance to the vagina when separated. The folds, particularly the inner ones, are sexually sensitive, as is the entrance. Arousal causes slight swelling of this area, and the skin here will produce lubricating fluid; do not attempt insertion of anything until adequately slippery. Slightly above the entrance to the vagina is a small, hooded protrusion called a clitoris; this is extremely sexually sensitive to the point that rough contact will cause it to retreat under the hood.

All of these sexual areas can be stroked or lightly pressured (squeezing for the penis, filling/outward pressure for the vagina) for sexual pleasure; the human may request more, less, firmer, faster, etc. In addition, humans also often enjoy stimulation of the nipples (the paired protrusions on their upper torso). Individual humans may also have other sexually-stimulating zones, such as the backs of the ears and neck. Human aggression may or may not extend to sexual contact, some enjoy pinching/being pinched, biting/being bitten, striking/being struck, etc, even to the point of injury. This is something to discuss beforehand and in the moment.

Continued sexual pleasure will eventually cause the human to "climax", which for the male produces that jet of nutrient gel and genetic material, and for the female involves involuntary clenching of muscles in and around the internal genitals. After this, the penis will become soft and possibly painfully sensitive, requiring recovery time before it can stiffen again; whether a female will want to continue (and whether she will climax again) varies.

Humans often enjoy "cuddling" after: a period of quietly resting together skin-to-skin.

Risks:

Hybridization and prevention: Either sex can take reproduction-preventing medication, but it is very rare for human females to produce human/non-human hybrids, owing to the scientific details of reproduction and the immune system. Hybridization is usually the result of a reproduction-capable non-human mating with a human male. If this would be a risk for your species, and the human male is not on preventive medication, he can wear a "condom," a penis-sheathe designed to prevent the dispersion of his genetic material.

Disease: Although inter-species disease risk is low, it is still important for the human to be screened for anything dangerous to you, given the sheer volume and aggressiveness of Terran-native microbes. Humans have a microbiome of bacteria, viruses and fungi on their skin — and, for females, within their internal genitalia — all of which are usually harmless to them. They also have a separate oral microbiome that is considerably more dangerous and should be avoided unless medical has screened and approved it specifically. (Humans can also spread pathogenic microbes to each other by sexual contact, but the non-human risk from those is not particularly more than from the others.)

Fluids: The human male's sexual fluids are usually slightly alkali and the human female's are usually slightly acidic. A condom or similar device can be used for protection from this risk as well. Their mouth fluid is acidic and corrosive regardless of microbiome, belonging to their digestive system.

!! Always, always talk with medical first. They can answer questions about your species-specific risks regarding hybridization, dangerous fluids, or Terran-native microbes. They can do this well in advance of sexual contact or even attraction to specific partners; only the disease screening is specific to individual humans. !!

There is considerable variation in human genitalia: In length and thickness, in curves and angles, in hair presence, in color, in sensitivity. There is also considerable variation in what a human may enjoy or be capable of sexually. And, as the universe has learned, humans are creative. If there is mutual interest but your body cannot do the things described, or if medical has given you dire restrictions, talk to the human about it. Humans live by the Terran saying, "where there is a will, there is a way." Do not assume that mutual enjoyment is impossible.

[mechpilotvi]

Started reading human domestication guide.... oh yeah ... this .. this is good (coping with how absolutely cooked I am about wanting to force intoxed by a big plant lady)

[fluffysystem]

Hey, thank you for rebloging that post about HDG and trans women like a month ago

It got me into HDG and now Im OBSESSED with it :3

Awawawwawawawwawa!!!!!!

So glad you got into it!!!!!

It's our self assigned duty to spread the mommy plant (plommy) propaganda :3

It's a great community filled with all sorts of sophonts! Most of which are trans. Everyone is accepted there! :3 (unless you're a feralist, yuck, keep your capitalism away from us)

[imagicalcentral]

Imagimancy Guide for Beginners

Step 1: Create a headspace. To do this you just have to envision a space in your mind and slowly build it from the ground up. Places in your headspace could include a common room, your own room, and a room for your future imagi.

Step 2: Get in tune with your emotions as a starting point. Then once you feel emotionally prepared start brainstorming ideas for your imagi. It must come to you naturally and feel right. Forcing an imagi will only make the process uncomfortable. Don’t attempt to make an imagi that is nothing like you. Build up on yourself and ideas you have of yourself to make an imagi that will be in tune with you.

Step 3: Once you have the name, form, and pronouns of the imagi envision it doing mundane tasks in headspace such as walking around and allow your mind to get used to the idea of another being within your headspace.

Step 4: When your first start attempting to communicate with your imagi you will want to sit with it in headspace and try simple exercise such as analogies, counting, colors, shapes, objects, places, and similar.

Step 5: Once you feel confident in yourself and your imagi start to build up more complex sentences and topics. Do not expect any responses and just let yourself feed ideas into the imagi.

Step 6: Once you are comfortably and easily able to do the latter then start working with your imagi on empathetic communication. Think of yourself as a hivemind where you and your imagi can feel one another’s emotions. Try to invoke them to feel things and try to feel those emotions yourself. These will be both your own emotions and their emotions. Two sides of the same coin.

Step 7: Once you have a handle on the dual empathy start to spend time with your imagi. As well as occasionally act as your imagi. The act of acting as your imagi is called transferring.

(Steps can be adjusted to better suit your needs)

Feel free to ask questions about this in the replies or send me an ask!

[mooncalf87]

Oh hey btw if you didn't remember, Hetty cannonly has more then one child

[zz9official]

[pluralhottakes]

the recent pro-endo move/trend to try and "prove" endogenic plurality via the DSM has actually only worsened the problem of

(A) psychologizing plurality and (B) brushing off spiritual plurality unless using it as a "gotcha" towards anti-endos

like. why are you trying to use the DSM. you're only validating the idea that the DSM is what defines what is "possible" in the psyche, and even if you point at the mention of plurality in spirituality and culture, are you actually saying that because you care about spiritual plurality and plurals whose existence is derived from spirituality and metaphysics, or are you saying it's one of the only explicit places where non-traumagenic plurality is mentioned in the context of being non-disordered?

i get that it can be validating for some people, but even if the DSM didn't support non-traumagenic, non-disordered plurality (which, btw, it didn't for a long time), why should that matter? why should the words of a book written by people who are not like us, who likely have not talked to us to understand our experiences in-depth, be taken as the truth?

the DSM does not and should not define what is and is not possible. especially when it comes to spiritual and metaphysical plurality, which is inherently going to be so fucking personal in how it intersects with psychology (if it even does!) in ways that cannot be measured beyond "this is how these people experience their reality".

.

[sheepgirlmaidtummy]

my love for trans women has no end. the things id do for us big and small. i hope ive touched the lives of all of you that i know. i hope i can continue to do so.

[protectingtulpas]

Hi!

We have a few questions for you!

First, is it possible/normal for tuplas to start responding verbally almost immediately? My tuplas Jax & Jasmine were accidentally created when I was 12, and from what I can tell they started talking almost immediately, but were pretty undefined as people.

Second: Do you have any tips for learning to co-front and how we can learn to switch who's fronting? We have a final goal of functioning multiplicity with mutually beneficial fronting to help with daily life, but aren't sure how to start.

All three of us are interested or curious about learning to co-front/switch fronts & I, the host am mainly the one curious about our first question.

-💜🔗 (we'll probably be back so here's our signoff)

Yo! I'm gonna combine these two asks into a singular one since it's way easier. I'm gonna answer things bottom-up since the second one gives more context 👍

So there's a lotta crossover between paragenic systems and tulpas, which makes a lotta sense because it's really similar in the how you're starting with a non-autonomous concept of a person that then gains autonomy & awareness for themselves. Especially with unintentional tulpas, there's really a thin line between em. From what we know, most paragenic systems call their members paratives: "a member of a system that was originally a para. The development of a para into a parative is unique to neuronarrative plurals, immersive daydreaming plurals, or systems that have Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder." Which means that it's kinda up to you what you feel like; if it seems like your system members used to be paras and then turned into full system members, then you might like paragenic more; but if ya feel like tulpamancy terms and concepts fit wirh you better, then go ahead and use that one! Labels are just things ya use to describe yourselves, is all.

And here's the secret part: you can still use tulpamancy techniques if you're of another origin! A lot of it is writtwn for previously-singlets that don't have any dissociation problems, so you gotta know yourself best when you go into looking into this stuff with a dissociative disorder, but it's still super useful for a lot of people. Fronting/switching/possession guides are the reason I'm able to front at all, plus maybe our non-tulpas too 👍 What helped me a ton when I was first starting was trying partial possession first- the first part of the body I ever controlled was the voice, actually!

For your last question, it's not super unusual for different tulpas to hit different points of development/awareness/personhood at different times. For some people the awareness comes first and then the emotions and then the mindvoice communication, but for others it can be in a buncha different arrangements. My guess with amateur-knowledge on MaDD is: the fact that you daydreamed with your proto-headmates primed them to be able to respond with their mindvoice way easier, while they were still developing a sense of self behind it.

Lots of fronting/possession guides to use:

- Possession Explained

- Possession via Dissociation

- DJFlix on Possession (this one is based in visualization and colors; good for ppl with vivid imaginations)

- Possession: By a Tulpa for Tulpas (hell yeah tulpa made resources)

- Parallel Processing and Switching

- Malfael's guide to switching (in-depth, awesome)

- So you wanna switch? Do you, really? Might be able to help with that. (Written by a DID system)

- Controlled switching (a few short intentional switching methods)

- Sophieinwonderland's ghost switching method (short)

[anendoandfriendo]

"Fuck your online discourse" actually, no, we do think the halloween DID flag shouldn't be used but it's not because of some bullshit like "waah it's just a recolor" it's because the system that created that flag is a huge fucking racist and ableist last we checked, and we never saw ant kind of apology for being racist and ableist to endogenic systems. We never saw them stop being anti-endogenic or anti-Black (because let's be honest, Black endogenic systems specifically would be the ones most affected and hurt by this).

Like, we know people have forgotten by now, but we were THERE just before TPA became a thing, when systems like The Entropy System were fully mask-off in their bigotry (we call anti-endogenics facsists because of the personal experience of having the not-pleasure of seeing shit like the above link lmao), and such other things. We used to be very visible on Twitter as an endogenic system who's seen this shit but it was kind of taking over 99% of our focus when we were working retail instead of working at home, so we ended up tapering it away.