#i may have had them take on some of morgana and gwens personalities :')

[lesbicosmos]

day 4 of @chrisginnyweek !!

day 4 prompt: time

my interpretation: different time period au (medieval/merlin)

summary: ginny is the king's ward and chris is her maid, but there's something more between them. ginny suggests they go for a picnic in the woods and lesbianism ensues

notes: if you've seen merlin, here's my list of character parallels for this au:

ginny = morgana chris = gwen neil = arthur todd = merlin keating = gaius mr perry = uther (bc shitty father figures) charlie = gwaine knox = lancelot meeks = leon pitts = percival cameron = elyan then stick is a stablehand and all the horses are named after midsummer nights dream characters because i had to include that somewhere

also on ao3!!

we lay here for years or for hours

Ginny awoke to the bright light of the morning sun shining behind her eyelids as she heard the silk curtains being carefully opened.

“Good morning, my lady,” came the familiar cheerful voice from over near the window.

Ginny finally opened her eyes, stretching her limbs in her huge four-poster bed as she followed Chris with her gaze.

“Morning, Chris.”

This was their usual routine for the morning: Chris brought Ginny out of her deep sleep with her soft voice and the dazzling sunshine through the window. Then, as Ginny was fully waking up, Chris fixed the curtains and replaced any candles that had fully burnt. Ginny’s breakfast would always be on the table and her hairbrush would be on the dresser ready to be used.

As Ginny stood up from the bed, Chris left the room to go and get her clothes for the day. She walked over to the table and popped a grape into her mouth just as her maid came back into the room holding Ginny’s favourite dress. It was soft satin and a gorgeous purple colour with gold embellishments and a sheer blue cardigan. The dress made her feel like a princess, which she supposed she was, really. She lived in the castle with the King as her guardian, after all. A smile spread across Ginny’s face as she took the dress from Chris’s hands and went behind the changing screen.

“Can you help me with this fastening?” she asked after a few minutes, stepping out from behind the screen.

“Of course!” came Chris’s reply, and Ginny turned around so her back faced her.

Ginny felt Chris’s hands take the ribbons at the back of the dress and began pulling them slowly tighter. There was an odd silence between them as she did; not awkward or uncomfortable, by any means, just…odd. Tense, almost. Ginny felt her breath hitch when Chris’s hand lightly brushed her back as she threaded the ribbon through the loops to fasten the dress.

Once she’d finished, Chris moved over to the dresser to get the sheer cardigan, allowing Ginny to slide her arms through the wide sleeves. Then she stood directly in front of her, her fingers working on the cardigan’s front fastening at her abdomen. They were so close together, their faces only a few inches apart. If Ginny moved just a little bit further forward-

“Is there anything planned today, my lady?” Chris broke the silence, taking a step backwards and breaking Ginny out of the strange trance she’d fallen into.

“Chris, please,” she said, a soft smile on her face. “I’ve told you; you can call me Ginny. We’re friends, there’s no need for the formalities.”

She swore Chris’s cheeks became slightly pinker as Ginny sat down at her dresser.

“Sorry, my- Ginny. Is there anything planned today?”

Chris took the hairbrush and began slowly combing through her dark hair.

“Not specifically. Although, it does look like a fine day to go for a ride in the woods.”

“Of course. Would you like me to go and tell Neil once I’ve finished your hair? Or would you like the King to accompany you instead?”

Ginny lightly chuckled. Chris was always so focused on making sure she was doing her duties. Ginny wished she knew just how much she meant to her.

“No, no, Chris. Not with either of them. I’m sure Neil has his princely duties to be getting on with, anyway."

Neil might as well have been Ginny’s brother. They were raised together as children, have known each other practically all their lives. Whilst they do bicker sometimes, they’ve always been close. There was an understanding between them, but neither had exactly figured out what.

“If he ever wakes up, that is,” Chris laughed. “As I passed his chambers I could hear Todd having to practically hit the bedframe with a sword just to get him to open his eyes.”

“The future King of Camelot, ladies and gentlemen. I still can’t believe people think he’s going to be the best King the land has ever known.”

Chris seemed surprised at that. “You don’t think he will?”

“Oh, I think he will. With his kindness and ideas, this kingdom will prosper once he’s on the throne instead of his father. I just think it’s ironic that he’s still the same dramatic prince as ever.”

“He has always been one for the theatrics, hasn’t he?”

A memory flooded into Ginny’s mind, of her and Neil around aged 10, having been bought wooden swords by a visiting king. They snuck out into the courtyard in the night, playfighting and putting together a choreographed performance, which they showed the King the next day. He didn’t seem too impressed. He never was.

Ginny shook the memory away, aware that she’d zoned out for a few seconds.

“Anyway, no. I don’t want to go for a ride with Neil today.”

This was her chance to spend more time with Chris.

“I was wondering if you wanted to come?”

Chris’s eyes widened in shock, stopping the gentle brushing of Ginny’s hair.

“Me?”

“Yes, Chris. You.”

Ginny stood up from her chair, so there was very little space between the two of them once again. There were a few seconds where that tense silence returned and neither of them moved. Ginny wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t even breathe.

Inevitably, the moment ended, and Chris spoke.

“Are you sure, my lady? You know there’s been bandits hiding out in those woods for weeks now, I can’t protect you if something happens. Perhaps one of the knights-”

“Chris. I want to go with you.”

Ginny looked at her maid sincerely, trying to show how desperate she was to spend time with her. Chris didn’t seem against the idea, but the look of worry on her face was impossible to avoid. Ginny had an idea.

“How about we ask a few of the knights if they’d tag along with us, then? Just to keep lookout in case the bandits are still around. I’m sure Charlie, Meeks and Pitts wouldn’t mind a day in the woods, if we offer them food.”

Chris seemed to visibly relax at that, placing the hairbrush back down onto the dresser.

“Okay. I’ll go and send word to them, ask if they have any duties today.”

“Thank you, Chris.”

Chris smiled brightly and turned to leave the room, but Ginny spoke again just as she got to the door.

“If they can’t come…”

Chris turned around.

“It’s not like I can’t protect us.”

Ginny gave a quick wink, and she watched Chris look down at the ground as if hiding her blush. She nodded and left the room.

It was around an hour later when Chris returned to Ginny’s chambers. She’d managed to convince the three knights to join them, and had then gone down to the kitchens to fill a picnic basket with the best food she could get: bread, fruit, the whole lot. The basket was fairly heavy by the end of it, but the weight wasn’t the thing that made her drop it onto the ground as she entered the room Ginny was in.

Ginny stood by the window, focused. She’d put on the leather sword sheath she’d been gifted by Neil a few months ago, and was sliding her sword into it. Chris knew that Ginny was good with a sword, that was no surprise to her; she simply couldn’t get over how the sight of her with the weapon made her feel even after this time. She really shouldn’t have found it so incredibly…attractive. If she had to die by sword, she’d willingly meet her end by that specific one, she thought; then mentally scolded herself for thinking it.

“Chris, you alright?”

“Yes! The basket’s just…a bit on the heavy side,” she lied

Ginny walked over to her, opening the basket and seeing what was inside.

“Oh, strawberries! My favourite!”

“I know,” Chris smiled. “The knights said they’d meet us by the courtyard gates, so we’d better get the horses.”

Ginny nodded, and her and Chris both reached for the basket handle at the same time, their hands brushing for a moment.

“I’ll take it, my lady.”

“Please, Chris. I insist.”

Chris couldn’t argue with her. She took a step back and let Ginny take the woven picnic basket and walk towards the door.

“Going out?” a quiet voice called from behind them as the two women made their way through the halls of the castle.

They turned around to see Todd walking out of Neil’s chambers, carrying a freshly polished chest plate. Sometimes Ginny forgot that he was technically the prince’s manservant – they were so much closer than that, and it was clear to everyone who knew them. There were rumours about them, but only few knew that those rumours were true. Ginny and Chris had known for over a year, ever since they’d caught the two of them exchanging secret kisses in the armoury.

“We’re going into the woods for a picnic,” Ginny told him.

“You could join us if you’d like!” Chris chimed in.

As much as she loved Todd, Ginny didn’t really want him crashing their picnic. Sure, the knights were going to be there, but she’d make sure they were standing at such a distance that meant her and Chris would have some privacy.

“I can’t, sorry,” Todd said, and Ginny silently thanked him. “Got to prepare for the knighting ceremony tomorrow.”

“Of course. We’ll see you at dinner later?”

“Yep,” Todd replied, adding a quiet “have fun, you two,” before turning around and walking in the direction of the armoury.

As Chris and Ginny walked into the courtyard, they felt the warmth of the early summer sun shining down on them. It wasn’t too hot to be uncomfortable but definitely wasn’t cold – the perfect day. They walked over to the stables, where a blond stable hand was tending to one of the knight’s horses.

“Stick!” Ginny said as she walked over to him.

The stable hand turned around and gave a small bow when he saw Ginny.

“My lady, what a lovely surprise. What can I do for the two of you?”

“Could you ready our horses? We’re heading into the woods with a few of the knights.”

Stick nodded but then seemed to freeze for a moment and looked apologetic.

“I can ready Hermia for you, my lady, but I’m afraid Lysander suffered an injury a couple of days ago and isn’t quite back on his feet just yet.”

Hermia was Ginny’s horse – she’d had her since she was a child: a gorgeous black stallion. None of the servants were allowed horses of their own, but Chris had taken to Lysander a few years ago, and now she was about the only person he’d allow to ride him without knocking them off his back. He was a young grey mare, who currently lay inside the stable, one hoof visibly damaged.

“I can ready one of the other horses for you, if you’d like, Chris?”

Chris opened her mouth to respond but Ginny cut in.

“Nonsense. She can ride with me. That’s alright with you, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Chris stammered, slightly taken aback.

Stick gave them a nod then went to fit Hermia’s saddle.

“Are you sure, Gin? I can take one of the other horses, it’s not too much trouble.”

“Gin? That’s a new one.”

Chris’s cheeks appeared to grow redder as she realised what she had said.

“Sorry.”

“No, no. I love it.”

Chris relaxed, smiling.

“And of course I’m sure. I wouldn’t have offered otherwise. Besides, it’ll be one less horse for the knights to keep track of once we’re out there,” Ginny chuckled.

After a few minutes, Stick walked out of the stables with Hermia’s reins in hand.

“Here she is, all ready.”

“Thank you, Stick.”

Chris held out her hand for Ginny to use to help her mount the horse, then Stick helped Chris up so she was sitting behind her. Chris awkwardly put her hands in front of her, trying and failing to keep herself stable but not knowing what else to do with her hands.

“Chris, you’ll fall off like that,” Ginny laughed. “Put your arms around my waist.”

Chris’s mind may have slightly short-circuited at that, and it took her a few seconds to comprehend what Ginny was telling her to do and follow through with it. She did, delicately moving her arms forward underneath Ginny’s until she was practically hugging her from behind, their bodies flush against one another. Ginny took Chris’s hands in her own, pulling them tighter around her.

“There’s no need to be so gentle, you can hold on tighter than that.”

Soon, they were riding together across the courtyard to meet the knights, who were waiting for them outside the gates.

“Took you long enough,” said Charlie as they approached.

“We had horse trouble.”

“Right. Of course.”

They began riding through the town and out of the city, the forest surrounding getting thicker and thicker. The five of them all laughed and joked together; sure, they were all important parts of the royal household but beneath their sophisticated jobs, they were all just good friends. Charlie and Neil had become friends the moment they met when they were young boys, and with Ginny being so close to Neil already, she got dragged into the friendship, too. Soon enough, they were all teenagers and the boys had befriended the rest of the knights and they became one big group. Ginny loved them all dearly, loved spending time with them outside of the context of ruling the kingdom; but she not as much as she loved spending time with Chris. Sometimes they got too boisterous, and all Ginny wanted was to sit in her room with her maid, both of them doing each other’s hair and talking about everything and nothing.

Now, they were riding through the forest together, Charlie and Ginny and Chris side by side at the front of the group, and Meeks and Pitts taking up the rear.

“So what ‘important knightly duties’ have we dragged you three out of for this?” Ginny asked, an almost mocking tone to her voice.

“Just our daily training session with Neil.”

“Wow, he actually let you miss a session?”

“See, Ginny, we didn’t exactly want to miss it,” Pitts chimed in from the back of the group. “But Chris said you were offering food up, so…”

That was the easiest way to get the knights to do anything. Offer them food, or a way to disobey the king.

“Well, thank you, nonetheless. I may be highly skilled with a sword, but I can’t say fighting with one is exactly my intention for the day.”

Still riding beside her, Charlie was close enough to lean over and whisper a question only Ginny could hear. Luckily, Chris seemed busy looking around her at the beauty of the forest, distracted by a bird in a nearby tree.

“And what exactly is the intention?” He raised his eyebrows, a knowing smirk growing on her face. Ginny really should never have told him about her feelings for Chris. All he’d done was mock her – lovingly, of course, but still.

“Oh shut up,” was all Ginny could reply, subtly turning her head to check that Chris was still zoned out and hadn’t heard. She seemed to be. She had also, however, leaned her head into the crook of Ginny’s neck, which she as desperately trying to ignore. Chris really wasn’t helping her keep her feelings secret, was she?

After at least 15 minutes of riding through the forest, gossiping with the knights about the king, Neil and Todd and the other knights, and having such an intense fit of laughter at one point that all of them nearly fell off their horses, they came upon a small clearing. Wild violets grew scattered around the patch of grass and the sunlight shone through the gap in the trees. The battlements of the castle were faintly visible above the top of the forest.

“This look like a good spot, my ladies.”

It was the perfect spot.

“Absolutely. Now, are you three going to stay close?” Ginny asked.

“Yep. We’ll stand guard around the clearing, don’t worry,” Pitts replied.

“Maybe a but further into the woods than that, Pittsie! Give them some privacy, you know.” Charlie turned to face Ginny and winked.

Ginny could have strangled him. Not that she would, of course. She loved him too much for that. But she wished she could do it in spirit. She prayed Chris hadn’t seen.

As Charlie and Pitts began looking for a spot to keep watch from, Meeks helped the girls down from their horse. He took both Hermia and his own horse by their reins and lead them away to follow the others.

“Enjoy your picnic!, remember to save some food for us!” he called before he disappeared into the woods.

Chris set the picnic basket down on the grass, detaching a soft lilac blanket from where it was tied to the back of it with leather straps. Wordlessly, Ginny held out her hand and Chris handed her two corners, taking the other two herself and the two of them gently laid the blanket onto the ground, careful to avoid the violets that appeared to be everywhere around them. They sat down, Ginny cross-legged and Chris with her feet on the blanket and her knees up. She tried not to pay attention to the way Ginny was sat so close that her knee was brushing her thigh.

“Let’s get the food out,” Chris said, more trying to distract herself than anything else.

There was more food in the basket than seemed physically possible: all different types of fruits and sandwiches and other baked goods. Ginny reached for a strawberry, taking a bite of it, and humming in pleasure at the taste.

“These might be the sweetest strawberries I’ve ever had, Chris! Where did you get them?”

“Palace kitchens,” Chris shrugged.

“I’ve never had strawberries from the kitchens! Not ones this good at least.”

“I may have stolen them from what was supposed to be the king’s lunch…”

“Oh you little rebel,” Ginny grinned.

Chris had taken a sandwich and was slowly eating it, gently carding her hands through the patch of flowers right beside her. Here eyes seemed to widen with an idea.

“Gin, we should make flower crowns! My mother taught me how to make them when I was little, I could show you if you’d like!”

“That sounds like a brilliant idea!”

“I really want to make one with these beauties,” Chris indicated to the violet patch. “But you should make one with daisies. The stems are easier to work with.”

Soon enough, the two of them were sat opposite each other on the picnic blanket, two piles of flowers beside them. Chris picked two of the violets up, slowly demonstrating to Ginny the way to thread together each stem.

“You just keep adding flowers like this until it’s the length you need, it’s easy once you get used to it. I’ll show you how to close it off when we get there.”

Ginny nodded. If she was being honest, she was probably focusing more on the fact that Chris’s nimble fingers looked so pretty tying the stems together than on what she was actually demonstrating, but she got the idea.

“Like this?” she asked, after replicating what Chris had done with the violets on her daisies.

“Yeah, that’s it! Just keep adding them, now.”

They must have spent half an hour in content silence, just threading flowers together. Unbeknownst to each other, both of them had taken a few moments of that time just to admire the other person, watching them work, all the emotions showing in the look in their eyes. They had made eye contact a couple of times, and both had simply smiled at each other or giggled quietly. Chris was a lot further into her project than Ginny was, being much more experienced with the craft.

“The one with violets in her lap,” Ginny muttered, looking across at Chris with the bundle of perfectly threaded bright purple flowers lying on her knee as she struggled with a stubborn stem.

“What was that?”

“Oh, nothing. Just a line from a poem Neil told me about the other day. It fits you.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“I wish I could tell you the rest of it. It was written by an Ancient Greek poet, so we only have fragments of her works.”

“That’s…oddly sad.”

“I know. She was nicknamed the Tenth Muse, too. It would be incredible if we could read her full poems, know her mind even better.”

Chris hummed in agreement, focusing once again on the flower that didn’t seem to want to thread into the rest of the crown.

She finally fixed it in, sighing in relief.

“Can I check if it’s the right size?” she asked, holding it out towards Ginny.

“Of course,” Ginny replied, placing her work in progress down in front of her and lifting her head up.

Chris moved so that she was sat behind her, placing the crown on her head and checking the ends met at the back.

“Perfect,” Chris said, and Ginny could feel her breath on the back of her neck. She fought back a slight shiver.

“Here, I know you’re not quite done yet, but I’ll show you how to close off the crown.”

Chris held the ring of violets out in front of her, demonstrating the specific way of threading the final stem into the first.

“I think I get it?”

Chris grinned at her, then leaned forward and placed the crown onto Ginny’s head. Their faces were so close at that point, all it would take would be a slight push forward from either of them and they would be-

“Can I measure this on you?” Ginny asked, ignoring the thoughts in the forefront of her mind at that moment.

“Sure.”

Chris turned around so that Ginny could copy what she had done a few minutes before, holding the daisies around her head. Her hands brushed Chris’s hair in the process, and it was so soft. Ginny thought she would do anything to run her hands through it. The crown fit perfectly.

“It fits,” Ginny said, and Chris turned around to face her again. “How do you connect it again?”

“Here, I’ll help.”

Ginny expected her to take the daisies from her hand and finish it herself, but instead she held Ginny’s hands, guiding her to where to thread the stem. She was trying and failing to concentrate on what to do rather than the feeling of Chris’s hands on hers so softly.

“There you go. Finished.”

The two girls smiled at one another for a long moment, then Ginny reached up to place the crown on Chris’s head. The slight pink tint of the inside of the petals matched her blonde hair perfectly, and she looked like a living embodiment of the sun. One of the daisies in the chain hadn’t been secured in fully, so it fell across her forehead haphazardly. She still looked perfect.

They had realised they’d all but forgotten about the food, so Chris offered Ginny more strawberries, which she gladly accepted. Chris caught herself staring at the gorgeous woman sitting beside her, paying close attention to the way her nose scrunched up slightly when she smiled at the taste of the fruit; the way the late morning sunlight reflected off her eyes, making their green-blue colour shimmer like the ocean; the way her soft dark hair- oh.

In the midst of her staring, Chris noticed something in Ginny’s hair – some kind of tiny insect that must have crawled out of one of the violets on her head.

“Oh, Ginny, hold on a second. I think there’s an ant in your hair.”

Ginny laughed slightly, her eyes moving upwards as if to look at the tiny reddish bug. Chris, hesitant as she was, shuffled closer to her, her hand reaching up to gently pick the ant out of her hair. Ginny’s eyes fluttered closed the closer her hand got to her face. It took a few tries, but she got it out, setting the insect down on a leaf within arm’s reach of the blanket.

Ginny watched her as she did so, her hands so delicate as not to harm the ant. She saw her lips quirk up into a tiny smile once it was safely on the leaf. It was only when Chris turned back to face her that Ginny fully comprehended the position they were in, yet again. They were so close, even closer than they had been when they crowned each other with flowers; Chris lying on her side, propped up on one elbow, Ginny sat only a few inches from her, leaning back on her hands. She couldn’t think what to do: she didn’t want to move; she didn’t think she could; but being this close to her maid meant all Ginny could do was stare at her.

Ginny was sure her feelings for Chris were slowly getting stronger as time went on – it was definitely getting more and more obvious to those around them, that’s for sure. Neil and Todd both knew, and so did half of the knights (perhaps not Knox though, he was a little slow in that area). She honestly didn’t know how Chris herself hadn’t figured it out yet, especially now in this moment, where Ginny’s gaze couldn’t help but move to Chris’s lips, soft as they always looked, soft as Ginny had always imagined they’d feel against her own.

“Ginny?” Chris’s voice broke her from the moment, and she panicked she’d noticed her staring, and was about to say something that would mean they would never be the same again. Ginny quickly looked back up to Chris’s eyes, anxiety filling both her heart and mind.

But Chris’s eyes weren’t looking into hers. They were looking lower, at her lips. Her breathing seemed somewhat laboured, and her voice was barely a whisper.

“Strange request, but…” she paused momentarily. “Can I-“

Ginny’s mind was racing, but she knew what Chris was asking. Before she could even finish the question, Ginny replied.

“Yes.”

Time seemed to slow down as Chris moved forward slightly and closed the small gap between them, tiny gasps leaving both of their mouths as their lips connected. They were just as soft as Ginny had expected, as soft as she’d dreamed they would be in the many times she’d daydreamed this event. In the heat of the moment, Chris lost balance on her elbow and fell backwards so she was lying on her back on the blanket, her daisy crown falling off her head. Neither of them cared; Ginny simply followed until she was practically on top of her, the kiss deepening as a result of the change.

Eventually, the need to breathe interrupted their moment and Ginny slowly lifted her head.

“You taste like strawberries,” Chris exhaled, barely audible.

Ginny just laughed softly; It was the only thing she could think of to do in that moment. She was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to kiss her again.

“I’m glad I came on this picnic with you, Gin.”

“Me too.”

She leaned down again, her fingers finally able to brush through her silky hair. This time, Ginny pressed a soft kiss to Chris’s nose and admired the way her eyelashes fluttered slightly as her eyes closed, before moving her kisses elsewhere: Chris’s cheeks; forehead; jaw; sternum, just above her delicately sewn blush pink corset. Ginny seemed intent on kissing every inch of the other woman’s face, committing it to memory. If she had the time, or indeed the artistic skill, she would have spent hours painting her; recreating the gorgeous patterns of steel grey in her irises, the tiny, excited smile on her lips, the soft curls of blonde hair that fell over her face. She would paint it all, ensure she would never leave her mind for even a moment.

Just as Ginny moved her kisses back to Chris’s lips once more, there was the snap of a branch behind them, and they jumped apart quickly.

“Hate to interrupt this clearly incredible moment between the two of you, my ladies, but Meeks and Pitts have spotted a bandit camp about a mile north.”

Charlie.

“So, unless you want to be interrupted by an ambush instead, we’d best be going.”

“Of course,” Ginny replied, trying to ignore the embarrassment of the moment and comprehend the situation. “Could you ready the horses? Chris and I will pack up.”

“Of course, my lady.”

Charlie gave a small bow and turned to leave, but instead faced the two women once more, a playful grin on his face.

“Also, I thought I was promised food from this picnic for skipping an important training session to be here protecting you?”

Ginny thought for a moment, then lobbed a bread roll at him. It hit him in the chest, but he caught it nonetheless, nodding and leaving.

“Damn bandits,” Ginny swore under her breath, just loud enough for Chris to hear.

“You know,” Chris picked up her daisy crown and replaced it on her head, then moved to take Ginny’s hands in her own. “There are still no plans for the rest of the day. We could spend it together if you’d like.”

Ginny just smiled, pressing a quick but heated kiss to Chris’s lips before they began packing away the picnic basket and blanket.

The ride back to Camelot was oddly quieter than the journey there, likely because the knights had noticed the subtly different way Chris and Ginny seemed to look at each other, or the way Chris was much more comfortable sitting behind Ginny on the horse, holding her waist tighter.

Charlie leaned over to Ginny, whispering once again.

“Nice headpiece by the way. Interesting choice, violets,” he grinned at her knowingly.

“Shut up.”

Ginny couldn’t help the smile growing on her own face, too.

[gdn7-dollopole]

Could have destiny, and therefore Arthur’s death, really be avoided in Merlin? Or were things supposed to flow like that either way?

The first thought that struck me, as soon as the last episode ended, was the usual “what if?” that keeps this fandom alive, alongside the plethora of theories (that I like looking into and discuss) questions, answers and headcanons.

But no matter how many times I think about it, I personally believe that the answer to the question in the title is simply:

No.

It couldn’t.

The directors, no matter how many choices they made, that we could either think are wrong or not, had also made a wonderful job of deceiving us, but not really, and ending the show with a tragedy and a good fucking plot.

What is the plot, you may ask?

“You don’t choose destiny, destiny chooses you”,

and I think it’s brilliant.

First thing first, destiny:

The directors said: “Fuck it.” They tried everything they could do so that Merlin, at the end of the day, had only one choice. It is really an hard point to make, especially because we like to think that if Merlin had done something differently, things could have actually took another road, and yes, it could have, but it didn’t happen, because we needed an enemy in the show, and it was made on purpose. I like to think that the directors knew it would piss people off. It did. Great job, you guys, I still think about it after fifteen years.

Second thing, who’s the bad guy? (Uther)

What I mean by this, is that I’m asking this question to the main characters who the directors wanted us to believe they were objectively good, right, like Merlin, or Gaius, and even Arthur. How about, no one of them had to be completely good? It hurts less if the characters I just cited acted differently, like we oftentimes say of Merlin, but it’s fiction, and we wouldn’t have Tumblr to discuss it on, if they were all perfect, so why not give them some very bad flows? *cough* All the better if they’re murderers *cough*. Now, if it were reality, I too would have said: “Go to hell”, but it’s BBC Merlin, so let me have some fun.

Morgana is bad, Merlin could be too, Arthur even, also Gwen, Lancelot too, and all the wicked team we’ve got. Oh, especially the toilet they had instead of a king, the one and only Uther Pendragon. I even said that Gaius is bad, and offended Hunith of all people, so let’s get to my point. Merlin could have done things differently? Yes. But Morgana, too. Hell, also Arthur. The point of the TV show is the very, very bad choice Uther made of being a tyrant, so. Merlin could have told Morgana he had magic? Yep, but sometimes I believe Morgana had to be evil, so even if she could have become like that in another way, she made her own choice. She knew Merlin was a good person, who didn’t dislike her because of the magic, and still threatened him throughout all season three, causing chaos and death because she craved power and she was in a privileged position where she could do all these things. We like to blame Merlin and Gaius for how she turned out, but what about Gwen? Poor woman didn’t do anything, as much as breathing too hard near her mistress, and Morgana wanted her dead because she hated the idea that a woman like Gwen, who even if amazing and with so many skills, was just a peasant, and could get on her throne. Morgana made the choice to hate Gwen. Morgana made the choice to try and kill Arthur to take her throne, even when Arthur had no idea of what was happening. Heavy on her throne, because who said it was? By age, status, whatever, Uther appointed Arthur as the heir, and there is no changing that. (so, bad Morgana. See? She had to be, like, it was the director’s job)

“Merlin poisoned her.” He did, and isn’t that magnificent? We can see how it destroys both of them in their own ways. Why did they have to be good characters? Imagine how boring the show would have been, and now I wouldn’t be making a post about it at ten in the evening. Morgana chose Morgause. There is no discussing that. As soon as she saw she could take Arthur’s throne, she started doing the evil smirk every two seconds, accuse Gwen of being a sorceress (shouldn’t she side with her own kind?), killing guards wherever she went, sneaking out with the clip, clap of her boots to make bad things, uh uh, in the woods, uh uh.

Third thing, Merlin tried, poor guy:

No, he is not perfect either, and I love it. He is a man who got appointed with this great job to do the right thing since he was a boy, and what did the lad do? Many wrong things, LMAO. And still, in his perspective, they were right. And we agree on most of them, don’t we? Everything because we’ve got his point of view. It was right for Merlin to try and kill a child, because of a prophecy; it was right to lie to Morgana, because she was upstanding, and he was just a peasant; it was right to free a dragon, and he was simply right on this one (yes, to me, there is no discussing this. I would have freed The Great Dragon too, and I cannot blame him for what he did after); it was right to poison Morgana; it was right for Merlin to follow Arthur everywhere and believe he was a good man despite everything, because the idiots loved one another more than they could hate the system they had been put in (spoiler alert, Arthur too has so many flows). Why listing all these things he thought were right? Because they were right to him, because we know his life, how much he had hurt, and how much death not only he saw, but also inflicted. And Morgana killed so many people too. She, multiple times, committed treason, and Merlin had enough information to know that she agreed to make Camelot sleep. Thinking only of saving Arthur and innocent people, he did what he thought was best (this is the same man who had already saved Morgana after he had already tried to kill her, because he tried with all his might not to be a killer, like he had said to the dragon long before), and poisoned her. Could there be an excuse for Mordred? I believe not, but Merlin believed there was, and that’s enough for him, for the audience, and that’s what makes him such a complicated and beautiful character. Merlin did help Morgana, even if he lied to her, and what if he didn’t? He could have got into so much more trouble, Gaius would have reproached him, Merlin believed neither Arthur or Camelot were ready to accept magic, or him, and Morgana, once finding out about the fact that he was Uther’s daughter, she would have probably still acted the same, because we later see that she didn’t want magic to not be outlawed anymore, but to simply, ehm, kill Arthur and everyone who got in her way.

Fourth thing, the other characters can be bad too:

Even if enchanted, Gwen did betray Arthur. (she is such a good character, and very kind, but I like when even the best ones do something bad). We know she is not guilty, but nobody knew, not even Merlin and Gaius, because they never found out she had been enchanted. And when she was evil, there are still consequences to the deaths she caused. Lancelot, even if a good man, and a good friend to Merlin, left before Gwen could decided if she wanted a relationship with him. Gwaine, who we love and adore, him too a complex character, didn’t think about it twice in kicking Merlin in the dungeons when Gwen, evil and enchanted, had accused him of treason. (yes, she is the queen, but Gwaine doesn’t seem the kind of character who would that, or maybe yes?) What about “you’re the only friend I have” and all that? Arthur still made prejudiced choices even when crowned king, and Merlin supported him, and we know why. Even bloody Sefa, manipulated by her father, decided to commit treason.

My point is, who wouldn’t have loved if things went differently, but at the same time, a TV show that is so perfect, with characters who cannot make a single bad thing, would have been still this enjoyable? Hell, that is the point of fiction, that is the point of writing, of directing. Even when we look at bad choices in a TV series, we try to understand why those things happened, why character A betrayed character B and the dominoes effect their relationship brought.

That’s what makes the TV show better. You can build things off bad things. You can make good fanfictions about what could have gone different. You can make theories debating whatever these choices were simply poorly made by the directors or made on purpose. You can discuss all day the relationships between the characters because they’re flowed, and sometimes even toxic.

That is the best part.

This is not to say that we cannot blame a character’s arc for something that happened, or try to redeem another character, instead, but it’s also good to be able to judge and point and write about it.

Even in this post I made points that I believe should be objective (siding with the oppressor, being an oppressor, not blaming a caged dragon for revenge, ecc.) and yet I still like the characters because I can blame them and talk about them exactly because they’re bad.

Moral of the story. A good story always has an antagonist. We shouldn’t delete that.

(and fuck you, Uther Pendragon)

See? Beautiful.

[dragonrasberry]

Ok so, there’s no more electricity at my house, (because of the storm) and I have pretty much nothing to do, because it’s 1am and my sister is sleeping. So, I go in the shower ( yes I know I do it in the dark, for some of you it may be strange but it’s not. I have superpowers to see in the dark, called: it’s been dark for like 4. Hours and my eyes are now adapted)

So like a normal person the shower is where I think.

And like why people have sex in the dark? Do it make you feel more sensation? I know it’s a kink for people to get blindfolded, but like when you have nothing to cover your pretty eyes you can still see some sort of shadow, so like..?

Anyway that was not the goal of that post, I had some Merthur ideas of fics, and like I will probably write them, but like always never going to publish them so as well partage them with some of you. Just like use the hashtag merthur and I will find them.

So like I had this idea of Merlin, Percival, Arthur, Morgana, Leon, Gwaine and Elyan, Lancelot starting a parties of dnd, Mordred being the Dm. Gwen is there sometime to bring snacks and talking so like Mordred use that opportunity to make her play some npc. The party is just very chaotic, Percival being an awful good, but like forgetting sometimes and follow the teams without thinking. Lancelot not being able to stay in roll when Gwen is there. Arthur and Merlin not quitting arguing even in critical moment. Morgana being always like, so? I take her sword, she can’t hit me. Leon alway hitting critical 20 Gwaine, playing a bard and want to seduce everyone/ everything. Elyan being a Druid and is supposed to bring balance in the group is a goblin Druid so is not taken seriously most of the time with the voice he take. Mordred being exasperated most of the time. ( perwaine, merthur, gwen x Lancelot…)

my second idea:

But not that original, Merlin having a crush on Gwaine, and Arthur is neighbors who is a big charo. Arthur bring a lot of girl in is house, so he end up asking him some cues… and they fall in love at the end. Morgana being friend with Merlin and Morgana being Arthur sister, and Gwaine being the best friend of Arthur. A party take place at Arthur’s place, Merlin and Arthur argue about real love, and like Arthur say talk when you find the one you discribe as perfect. And that’s later at the party Merlin meet Gwaine,or Lancelot, come to think of it it work too. And like he have a big crush on one of them. Ask some advice to Arthur, and it’s working at first but like more time past and more he create a relationship with Arthur and more he find that he have nothing in common with, Lancelot/ Gwaine. And find out why Arthur think that about love, and have so many one night stand. his heart was broken by Gwen. ( merthur, Arthur x Gwen, merwaine, merlance)

And a third one because the lasts ones have been AU:

Merlin is under an enchantement, a love spell , with some new knight, and like some times he have those moments where he stay normal but that’s only when he is with Arthur that is. And he is alway with Arthur, so like the knight don’t understand, he promised to Morgana that is plan would work, that if Merlin was distracted, being in love, he would not stay by Arthur. It’s really confusing because it’s like if he was in love with the knight, but when Arthur get jealous and step in the conversation and adress Merlin, he becomes himself again. And all the knights find that very strange that when Arthur is not there the Newbie and Merlin flirt, and when Lancelot asked Merlin if he was in love in front of Arthur he responded no, but when Elyan asked him when the prince was not directly with them Merlin said yes. What is strange in that is that Merlin would never have a reasons to lie in front of Arthur. So they say it’s suspicious to the princess, and they investigate, they find some flasks of potions in Merlin’s chambers that are empty and they ask Gaius and he tell them that the young boy doesn’t have any affliction that he know of. ( merthur and jealous Arthur)

Fourth one:

Uther swap body with a servant. And he start to be friends with Merlin. And one night Merlin ask him to go tend to the prince for him, because he need to do something for Gauis and Uther see how much Arthur is a spoiled prat without the servant tending to him being that boy called Merlin. So when he ask Merlin about it Merlin rolls his eyes and say many things that should be putting him in the dungeons but Uther doesn’t have that power being Morris for now. But Merlin just smile and say at the end, but if it doesn’t bother you I will retake my duties with my favorite clotpople if you excuse me. And the day after that there’s an hunting trip organized and and Uther being Morris need to go in the place of a servant so being there with the Knights and Merlin he take the time to observe his son and the servant and is not so oblivious. When the next day he is again in his body. He decide to have a discussion about THINGS with his son.( merthur and like mentioned morgwen)

Now if you have questions don’t be shy, I know I’m not the most clear person in my ramblings.

[keyboardsmashdmhtmdcmdcdm]

Rant about Morgana

This is not hate on Morgana or Katie just to be clear. Great character and actress. Rant incoming, Everywhere I look I see posts saying Morgana was right and should have killed Arthur, Merlin, Gwen and everyone else however she seemed to stop fighting for magic once she knew she had it. In the early days Morgana is seen as the only sane one when it comes to magic in a way. That's why nobody believes that she could knowingly abuse magic/innocent people/the cultural groups that accept magic. Morgana in the beginning says things like "Maybe you don't choose magic maybe it chooses you." and "The more brutal you are the more enemies you create." Lastly "I don't feel so alone here." However these line as great as they are aren't proof that she was innocent and only wanted peace throughout the show. Morgana is a person in this story in the sense that she has hope, ambition, fears and emotions and though there is definitely some misogyny in the writing I don't think blaming Merlin for her actions fixes that. Morgana is an adult who knew what she was doing when she commit murder and tortured people including Gwen though I am sure if she got the chance she may blame Merlin because she knew it would hurt him and he would not forget it. Merlin did try to help her when he sent her to the druids however people seem to forget that he was asked to kill her or to not let her know about her magic as well as that helping her was extremely dangerous. She was very close with Uther more than once having lunch or dinner with him as well as him asking after her health and worrying about her safety (though he was still a horrible father) there was no way for Merlin to safely teach her anything about magic while he was alive. Though I disagree with what Gaius did I can see why he choose not to take the risk when he was the person who snuck Morgouse out if I remember correctly, he was a known sorcerer before the purge and her physician if she seemed to be learning magic in the walls of Camelot he would be one of the first suspects unless Morgana betrayed Merlin or Morgouse. Morgana also proves later in the show that she is very willing to betray people that she feels deserve it even for petty reasons like with Gwen so this is a possibility. Characters like Gaius and Gwen may have already seen her do this to someone who got more a punishment than they deserve as well because she is shown to be very quick to assume the worst and call for action even in season one. Now to mention the poisoning. Just to clarify I do believe this was horrible and that Morgana should not forgive Merlin, however this was not as peaceful of a takeover as people try to justify it as. NO ONE could defend themselves from the army. I cannot understand how people don't see how horrifying the situation is for everyone from the knights to the farmers. There is an entire invading army of people who support magic inflating a land that hate magic while everyone is incapable of defending themselves. How many people would wake up to crops burned that they could not protect people that still got killed because this is a invasion among all the other horrors they could wake up to. Morganas second invasion makes this fact more horrifying when she does not kill the knight and replace them with her own and tries to fore there loyalty by killing innocent civilians and burning there crop in her orders knowing children will starve. Morgana was Uther's daughter through and through she saw magic as only a weapon or tool she used magic to give herself power over people without it and her status as a high priestess over people with it. She was a smart person early on and was capable of empathy so when she defended magic users there must have been something genuine there even if you don't like her but she most likely still saw magic as weapon that Uther was incapable of using therefor taking some power away from him and when she had it that is what it became a weapon she could use better than anybody else possibly even in her eyes a weapon.

[tinyavenuesailor]

Arthur’s Perspective

One thing I think we don’t talk about often is Arthur’s perspective in the show.  I’ve seen quite a few stories of Arthur having an extremely negative reaction to Merlin’s magic reveal. I think some fans tend to begrudge Arthur for his prejudice against magic. Understandably because when we are watching Merlin, we are seeing everything from Merlin’s perspective. We see the injustice and the fear people and creatures of magic have to endure. So, I get it but as viewers we know the whole story. Arthur and frankly 99% of Camelot don’t.

Let’s slow down and really take this in Arthur’s shoes. Arthur had been raised on the idea that it was a sorcerer that murdered his mother and had to listen to his father preaching about the evil of magic since he was old enough to understand people.

If that wasn’t enough 80% of the sorcerers that Arthur run into have tried to end his life.

Then he had to watch a Great Dragon burn and destroy the homes and lives of innocent citizens of Camelot.

And let’s not forget Morgana, someone Arthur loves and cherishes, goes missing for a year, returns, betrays him, voices her hatred for him and how she blames him for everything, practically gleams at the idea of ending his life and also reveals that she’s his sister and now has magic - which Arthur has been taught corrupts people.

Then the Disir sort of try to blackmail Arthur with a death sentence if he doesn’t free magic and bow down to the Triple Goddess. 

So yeah I get why Arthur may not be so ready to jump on this magic train when almost every encounter he had with magic had almost gotten him, the people he loves or the people in Camelot killed.

And if you’re thinking, well magic has saved Arthur and Camelot asses multiple times. Yes, but they don’t know that.

Arthur doesn’t know his mother died because his parents didn’t heed the warnings of the High Priestess. He doesn’t know that every sorcerer that comes for his life and Camelot is doing so in vengeance of Uther’s misguided rage. Doesn’t know that Morgana had to live in fear of her life of her powers. Doesn’t know that Merlin is going around saving Camelot and his ass like its a full-time job.

Arthur has every reason to hate magic considering how its wrecked his life but he doesn’t. Arthur never shows any real resentment to magic, more caution from being conditioned to hate magic. He always say ‘Magic corrupts’ but those aren’t his words, they’re his father’s. Because if he does believe magic only serves to corrupt why does he give people with magic fair trials? Why  doesn’t he actively hunt sorcerers unless they are a threat to Camelot’s safety? 

Then we see these moments where we can see Arthur is open-minded, that deep down some part of him always doubted his father’s teachings. Where he’s ready for someone to show him that magic can be more than destruction but he never gets that validation. 

*cough* There can be no place for magic in Camelot *cough*

I’m not blaming Merlin, Morgana or any other sorcerers. I fully understand why Merlin hid, why Morgana mental health deteriorated and why other sorcerers sought to destroy Camelot, except the Disir - I have my personal reservation on them.

I’m just emphasizing with Arthur’s point of view, everyone expects you to one day open your eyes and make magic legal but no one wants to sit down and show you the beautiful things magic can do. Like if y’all wanted magic in Camelot that bad did no one think to actually talk to Arthur about magic after he became King, he’s a prat yes but he’s not beyond reason.

Merlin had his fears yes, but, Gaius has a history with magic and knows of the atrocities of the Purge and is an advisor to Arthur. Gwen is Queen of Camelot and has no ill-will towards magic. Leon, one of Arthur’s trusted knights was saved by the Druids using magic. We all know Lancelot and Gwaine have no qualms with magic.

Did it really never occur to Gaius that Arthur had a right to know of the origins of his birth and would have maybe sparked a movement to help restore magic to Camelot and fix the damage the Purge had caused to the magical community. 

This is what really hurt me because I feel Arthur would have wholeheartedly accepted magic. In fact, I think he could have come to love it. In one day, Arthur entire stance on magic changed - albeit he was dying but it only took one person Arthur trusted to change his views on magic.

And it’s sad to think that Arthur still died with only half the story. Yeah, he knows Merlin has magic but he’ll never know why Morgana became the way she did. He’ll never know the real reason behind the Purge. Hell, he doesn’t even know he’s apart of this whole big prophecy.

Honestly, people could throw shade on Arthur for not legalizing magic sooner but I don’t think he was given a fair fighting chance. What is a man supposed to do when he only has 100 pieces out of a 1000-piece puzzle.

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

The Shadows Will Come... (final part)

The creatures creep closer with every second, and the journey to The Isle is every bit as difficult as the group expect it to be. An unexpected but more than welcome visitor helps them out.

Part 1

TW: Angst, bittersweet ending.

They set off that afternoon, not wanting to take any chances, thankfully not facing any resistance from the council for once. Gaius elects to stay behind, and though Arthur tries to make Leon, Morgana, and Gwen stay behind as well, so they can keep an eye on things, he doesn’t get anywhere, receiving nothing but raised eyebrows, crossed arms, and planted feet until he backs off.

The journey is slow and tense as they make their way towards The Isle of The Blessed, all of them feeling a sense of dread; not once have any of them been there and had something good happen. Elyan and Gwen stick close together, Leon and Arthur stick close together, Gwaine and Percival stick close together, and Mordred and Morgana stick close together. Each natural pairing gains a Merlin at some point, though never for long, and untrusting glances continue to be thrown between the two of them until they finally settle into a camp, hours after dark has fallen. Then, the Current Merlin levels a slightly harsh stare on the side of the other Merlin’s head, and said other Merlin in turn stares at the floor with blank eyes, hands fiddling tightly in his lap.

Gwaine, ever the one to break the silence, is the first to speak in what feels like days, directing his question to the group, and then to the Merlins specifically:

“I have what may be a slightly... insensitive question, if the two of you don’t mind?”

The both of them look to him, dragged from the inner workings of their minds’, and raise an eyebrow each, speaking eerily in sync:

“Depends on the question.”

It almost echoes around the forest, but the glares they shoot each other is distracting enough that Gwaine just clears his throat and says:

“... Ok. Now there’s two insensitive questions. One, who’s Freya? I don’t understand, how can one name convince you-”

He nods at his Merlin:

“-that he-”

He nods at the other:

“-is actually you somehow?”

Gwaine’s own Merlin clenches his jaw and looks away, half angry, half suddenly teary, and mutters:

“Not that question.”

But the other Merlin sighs and answers truthfully. His voice is quiet and he can’t quite look anyone in the eyes, but they all hear him loud and clear:

“I was going to marry her, a long time ago, but things went... awry, and she died. With the benefit of hindsight, I know that I could’ve saved her, but that’s what regret is, isn’t it? The benefit of hindsight?”

His counterpart glares at him viciously, his head whipping around and his eyes furious when he realises the other man has no intention of lying or keeping his mouth shut:

“Do you mind?! This isn’t your time, your life, you don’t get to fuck things up for me just because they’re fucked up for you.”

The camp goes chillingly silent, but the other Merlin just shrugs his shoulders and shoots himself a look, half condescendingly amused, half hateful:

“Yeah, well, we’ve always loved a bit of self-flagellation haven’t we? And anyway, they’ll keep asking question after question, now they know about the magic thing and the destiny thing and the immortality thing. I’m doing you a favour.”

Current Merlin snorts in clear derision, and looks away with rolled eyes and a shaken head. Gwaine clears his throat again, opens his mouth, closes it, opens it, and asks his next question, his timid voice somehow overflowing with curiosity:

“That... leads me on to question number two. Why do you two hate each other so much? You’re... the same person??”

Though a few of the people sat around the fire, Gwen and Mordred and Percival, look upset at the question, the others just seem intrigued, like they’d been on the edge of their seats, waiting for someone to ask. The two Merlins look to each other, and when Future Merlin shrugs and looks away, Current Merlin huffs, rolls his eyes, and answers quietly. It’s an odd sort of kinship they have, one in which they know almost exactly what the other is thinking, can have whole conversations in glances and tapped fingers and haughty scoffs, but still can’t stand each other:

“Have you ever... looked in a mirror, for the first time in a long time, and really... seen yourself? Your face, your hands, the blood on them? Seen how tired you are? How miserable? Except this time it’s not a two-dimensional image, it’s another version of you, warm and bloody and thinking and feeling, staring right back at you;-”

He gives them a crooked, self-deprecating grin as he quirks his eyebrow, almost challengingly:

“-it hates you as much as you hate it.”

No one quite has an answer to that, all, including Arthur, staring at him with a desperate sort of sadness, diluted with confusion at just... what could possibly have happened to make Merlin hate himself so much? Elyan is the first to speak, what feels like hours later but is probably less than a minute:

“That’s... a lot of self-loathing, Merlin. How in the name of the Gods does that sort of thing happen without anyone noticing? You’re... you’re Merlin?”

This time, Future Merlin takes the question, starting with a scornful, sarcastic snort, and ending with a tone of voice that speaks to years and years of agonising isolation:

“When you’ve made the decisions I’ve... we’ve had to make, done the things we’ve had to do... When you have to weigh the pros and cons of every life that’s ever been in your hands, every life that’s even just passed you by, and have to watch as the scales tip towards a decision that you know you’re going to have to... live with, often enough that at the end of the day, you’re more monster than man, all for one person, one ideal, one destiny, that you’re losing more and more belief in with every passing minute... well. Self loathing sort of comes with the territory.”

Everyone looks horrified at his little speech, more so when their own Merlin doesn’t even react, just stares into the fire, perfectly still, perfectly unbothered. Arthur begins regretting his anger more and more by every crackle of the fire, and is the first to break the eerie silence:

“Merlin? Is this true?”

His voice is quiet, but it carries strong over the sound of the flames, and his own Merlin looks up to him blankly, only briefly, before he sighs and looks down again:

“Destiny... is a fickle thing.”

Arthur flinches at the words, certain that he’s heard them, or a variation of them, from Merlin’s mouth possibly several times over the years. He asks the dreaded question:

“You both keep mentioning this... destiny. What destiny?”

The identical Warlocks turn to look at each other, for once seeming to seek a comforting agreement instead of sending an argumentative glare. The slightly older of the two sighs and gives his counterpart a smile that’s part pitying, part proud:

“It... might be time, Merlin. As I’ve already proven, things can go to shit at any moment.”

Though most of the people sat around the fire are tense and apprehensive, the group’s Merlin just nods, sighing and clenching his jaw before looking back to The King with a shadow in his eyes that makes him almost indifferentiable from his traumatised future self. Arthur wonders just what that means, but takes a breath, preparing himself for the oncoming explanation:

“Albion, The Forever King, and The Eternal One. There’s this...-”

He sighs again and looks down, fiddling with his hands. He speaks as though he has to force the words out, but after ten years of apparent secrecy, no one can find it in themselves to hurry him along:

“-there’s this prophecy, that you’ll be the greatest King Camelot has ever known, unite the Kingdoms—collectively named Albion—under your High Rule, and bring peace and unification between... between the magic, and the non magic. I’m meant to... protect you, guide you, stand... uh... by your side, I guess.”

Arthur’s expression goes blank, ever so briefly, but then his face pales and he gulps, shaking his head ever so slightly:

“Magic and non... Merlin, why did you never say anything?”

His face and voice seem distraught, almost teary, but both Merlins look to him with a flash of anger, gone in a second for the Future, who looks away, obviously unable to stare at the face of an Arthur that isn’t his whilst maintaining his fury. The time’s Merlin doesn’t have any problems with the tense eye contact as he grinds out through an unrelenting grief:

“Ten years of having everyone around you tell you, unknowingly, that you’re a monster and have been since birth, ten years of everyone who knows about the prophecies parroting that *telling Arthur is the worst possible thing you could do*, really effects a person, really alters the way you think.-”

Arthur obviously wants to interject, but Merlin doesn’t give him the chance, furrowing his brow and clenching his fists as he continues:

“-And besides all that, excuse me for thinking I’d ever be safe in your presence if you knew the truth, King of the self-proclaimed We-Hate-Magic-And-All-Those-Who-Use-It-and-Burn-Sorcerers-As-Public-Entertainment Kingdom. Or as you like to call it, Camelot.”

Arthur, wide-eyed and mouth open, keeps his teary stare firmly fixed on his own Merlin, though the others glance between the two versions nervously, heartbroken and not quite knowing what to say. The other Merlin catches Gwaine’s eye and gives him a small smile, muttering:

“It’s been a tough... decade.”

The King finally finds his voice, breathlessly asking, barely heard over the hooting owls and spluttering campfire:

“You’ve been waiting. For me. For ten years. My Gods, Merlin... I’m so... I don’t even know what to say, I’m so sorry.”

Before Merlin can even answer, his face, despite Arthur’s apology, still unnervingly blank, Mordred speaks up, timidly, but with an undercurrent of confidence that presumably comes from a lifetime of belief in something bigger than himself:

“A lot of people have been waiting, My Lord. A lot of people have been waiting for a very long time.”

Arthur doesn’t have time to open his mouth to ask what on Earth his youngest knight means, doesn’t even have time to blink, before Mordred’s eyes are flashing golden and the fire flares green for a moment. Everything returns to its normal colour, and The King lets out a sudden breath, deflating under the weight of his realised failure. Both Merlins seem perturbed that Mordred had outed himself, despite the young man's—almost boy’s—insistence on appearing strong. He’s failing only marginally; his face remains stubbornly challenging, but his hands shake in his lap.

The atmosphere is charged and heavy, thick with a swirling mix of emotions flowing in and out of everyone’s lungs, becoming more and more potent with each exhalation; it’s anger, misery, guilt, perhaps just a touch of pride. Both Merlins, despite the presence of Mordred and Morgana, feel as though they’ve never missed Lancelot’s quiet, determined, hand-hidden-on-the-small-of-their-back support, more than this very moment.

Arthur is the first to break the teary stare between Mordred and himself when the youngest of his knights refuses to look away; he can’t even muster up an apology, can’t look anyone in the eyes when he calls for everyone to pull out their bedrolls. The watches are decided haphazardly between the others, and no one questions it or argues when Merlin, Mordred, and Morgana settle close together—the King’s sister had always been protective of the youngest of them, and they accept rather easily that she had likely already known about Mordred’s magic, if not Merlin’s as well. The other Merlin strays as far away from the fire as he can without freezing in the cold of the night, and the way his counterpart relaxes more and more with every pace he takes away from The King is mostly ignored by everyone else.

~

The next day follows as the previous afternoon: silent, tense, awkward.

Arthur figures, when they settle into camp again as the sun falls, that they’ll make it to the shore of The Isle after only an hour or so of travel the next morning; originally, the Future Merlin had pushed for the group to keep going, but Gwen’s soft groan of saddle pain—badly hidden despite her effort—softens his resolve, and he allows the group to build a fire, cook some food, and sit in their customary circle.

Just like the day had followed from the previous, the night follows as well, though this time it’s Leon that starts the almost-interrogation of the two Merlins:

“I... I understand not liking each other. I understand looking at your own face and seeing nothing but the mistakes you’ve made, the decisions you’ve been forced to undertake. I’ve... I’ve done plenty of things I regret,-”

He looks away briefly, and a select few members of the group frown at the First Knight’s rare display of weakness before he looks back:

“-done things I’ll never forgive myself for. But how can you not trust each other? Merlin, or, that Merlin,-”

He nods at the version that isn’t quite his own:

“-is right: regret is formed with the benefit of hindsight, but in the moment... in the moment you are the one who makes those decisions, and you’re the same person. He’s only got one week’s worth of hindsight, and considering him just being here has already changed his past, I hardly think it counts any more. So how can you not trust each other?”

He says how can you not trust each other, but it’s hardly hidden that the question is aimed solely at his own Merlin. They both dislike each other in equal parts, sure, but the distrust comes from the time’s Merlin only, and it’s obvious to anyone who looks between them.

The Future Merlin smirks and shrugs his shoulders, signalling to himself that... he’s going to have to answer this one on his own. Though the others get the distinct impression that he knows the answer anyway. The slightly younger of the two Merlins takes in a deep breath, holding the cool air in his lungs for a moment before he lets it all out and levels a judging, assessing gaze on his other. He doesn’t look away, doesn’t even blink, as he replies, his voice difficult to read in it’s monotony:

“A lot can happen in a week, and I’m a very good liar.”

The other continues his smirking and quirks his head to the side slightly, obviously in agreement, half accepting that his past self doesn’t trust him, though also half annoyed. The knights, the King, Morgana, and Gwen, evidently don’t think his answer explains anything at all and wait in silence for him to expand; when he doesn’t, Morgana—who had previously been intent on staying silent, lest she give something away or upset Merlin—asks, her words slow and her voice low:

“Surely not that much can happen in a week? And even then, a week, a year, ten years... you’re still the same person.”

The other Merlin, now being ignored for the most part, raises an eyebrow in his counterpart’s direction, wondering just how he planned on explaining it; he knows how he would explain it, but Leon had been right, him just being here had changed things, maybe even the way he used to think. It’s all fucking with his mind a little, if he’s honest, so he tries not to dwell on it too much.

Morgana’s Merlin shakes his head, frowning, and though he glances up at his future self for just a split second, he answers with his gaze firmly focused on his Witch friend:

“No, he’s me, I’m not him, not yet.-”

He seems content to leave it there, but with the way everyone stares at him, he knows he’s not going to be able to get away with that. He huffs out an annoyed sigh and rolls his eyes, continuing:

“-What I mean, is that... with the life I lead, the things I’ve done, the things I have to live with... the decisions, the death, the pain, the... the loss,-”

He voice cracks slightly, but no one calls him out on it, not even when his future self blinks away sudden tears and looks off into the forest. He clears his throat, gulps, and continues, his voice forcefully louder and very... matter-of-fact:

-well. I’ve always been hyper aware that it might only take one more thing, one more tragedy, to... uh... send me over the edge, as it were. I’ve always been averse to proving Uther right, but if there is one person in all the Kingdoms whose mind is susceptible to snapping under the weight of magic and all the suffering my destiny has brought... it’s me. Like I said, a lot can happen in a week; yes, he’s me, that’s exactly why I don’t trust him.”

Arthur, at long last, is the one to reply this time. He seems confused, and heartbroken, and guilty, and angry, all in one, every inflection of his voice in every syllable he utters floating across the camp with a different emotion buried in it:

“So you... what? Think that at some point in that week, you went insane, killed everyone yourself, and then came up with an elaborate story so you could travel back in time and... do it all again?”

Everyone’s eyes gradually get wider as Arthur goes on, and then get impossibly wider still when both versions of Merlin just tilt their head and shrug their mouths, answering, once again, in eerie harmony:

“It’s a possibility.”

They don’t glare at each other this time, they barely even notice, in fact, that they’ve both said the same thing at the same time. When Arthur orders everyone to sleep that night, they all toss and turn in equal parts, unable to sleep both out of fear for their friend, and, as much as no one would admit it, as much as they all hate themselves a little for it, fear of their friend.

~

Arthur would have been right, in that the journey the next morning would only take an hour or so, had everyone had at least a few hours of sleep the previous night. As it is, it’s almost noon before they reach the shore of the lake surrounding The Isle. They had barely slept a wink between them, and even on horseback they’re sluggish and aching and slow. When they finally make it however, there’s an air of relief around them, like they know that, some way or another, it will all be over soon. It being the oppressive atmosphere that has been hanging low over their heads, choking down their throats into their lungs, dulling their senses but heightening their emotions, since the Merlin from the Future had appeared in the Throne Room, dirty and bloody and so very very scared.

The King, the knights, the servant, don’t quite know what they plan on doing once they get there, but they board the boats anyway, trusting, despite last night’s conversation, that Merlin would know what to do. Merlin who had raised an eyebrow at the appearance of multiple boats, with just enough room to carry them all across, but hadn’t questioned it in any way other than sending a narrow-eyed glare of suspicion to his future self, and a confused but passive shrug of his shoulders to Mordred and, more subtly, Morgana.

When they get to the other side and clamber through the overgrown ruins to the centre of The Isle, the room where they last sore The Veil torn just around the corner, they see... not who they were expecting. Their own Merlin is the first to figure out who it is pacing up and down the courtyard with his arms folded tightly across his chest as he mutters angrily to himself. The Warlock stops in his tracks, shocked, before he breaks out into a sprint, calling his name:

“LANCE!”

The man looks up, grinning widely and rushing to meet Merlin in the middle, embracing him tightly as the others stare, suspicious, but hopeful enough to smile and hurry their pace. When they get there, they can see that this truly is their own Lancelot, his eyes devoid of the evil darkness that they hadn’t noticed in the Shade until it was too late. The deceased knight barely spares them a glance, holding Merlin so tightly Arthur fears he might crush him, before pulling back, holding him by the shoulders, and rushing out his words:

“Thank the Gods you’re here, everything’s about to go to shit and I really don’t know what to do about it. Merlin, they’re coming, they’re going to-”

He’s cut off by the other Merlin, pale and shaking and the only one not sporting a smile as he stares at his old friend with wide, teary eyes; Arthur supposes it’s more difficult for this Merlin to see him, having already lost everyone else. This Lancelot... he’s the only one that both Merlins are on equal footing with. He is neither the time’s, nor the future’s:

“We... we know. That’s why we’re here. Why I’m here.”

Lance manages to stare at him with an open mouth for a moment, then look between him and his counterpart, and then glance to The King, before the man at his side sighs and deigns to give him an, albeit rushed and clipped, explanation:

“Everything already went to shit for him. He’s from the future, where the creatures came through, supposedly killed everyone, leaving only him. He came back a week in time to warn us, and here we are. How are you here?”

Lancelot just raises an eyebrow:

“Supposedly?”

The Merlin from the future just rolls his eyes as everyone else looks marginally uncomfortable, but the Current Merlin just waves his question away:

“A long story, doesn’t matter. How are you here?”

Lancelot hesitates for only a moment, but lets out a breath and shrugs his shoulders, accepting that he isn’t going to get much more than that:

"The Veil’s torn again. I’m... uh... somewhat of a special case apparently, I can move between Avalon and The Darkness fairly easily, unlike creatures like the Dorocha and their more... violent, counterparts. The tear meant I could climb through, before the creatures thank God, but I can’t leave the Isle. I’ve just been waiting for someone to pass, for something, anything, for me to be able to get a message to you. I guess you didn’t need me though.”

He finishes with a grin, and moves around the group, hugging everyone tightly, especially the King, Gwen, and the other Merlin, much to the Current Merlin’s evident, badly hidden, annoyance. He takes care not to waste too much time, speaking to Arthur as he lands a hand on each of the Merlins’ shoulders; the way he squeezes however, tells them that he’s actually speaking to them:

“So. How do you plan on fixing this, My Lord? Because unfortunately, I know nothing of use, other than the fact that the Veil has to close.”

Arthur raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms:

“I’ve no clue, but I’m assuming that the two Merlins and Mordred will be able to figure something out. What with their magic and all.”

Lancelot freezes, only momentarily though, before he leans to one side, speaking to one of the Merlins:

“... When did that happen?”

Future Merlin, not that Lancelot knows that, having already lost track of which is which, tilts his head and mutters, only just loud enough for the others to hear and snort at:

“About twenty minutes after I had everyone shitting themselves by appearing out of nowhere in the Throne Room.”

Lancelot just nods, muttering a quiet “Fair enough.-” before speaking up, somehow managing to stop himself from glancing to Morgana, knowing that, for whatever reason, her own magic hadn’t been outed quite yet:

“-So! I’m assuming the plan is just... see what you can manage?-”

The three Warlocks look to each other, one decidedly more worried than the other two, before shrugging and looking back to the knight, nodding their assent:

“-The Tear is just around the corner and it’s pretty... gruesome.”

They all frown at that, and with a glance to each other that is, once again, less suspicious and hateful than the group had become used, the two Merlins turn around and lead the way into the next room.

The Tear is immediately obvious, and the group doesn’t understand how they had missed it before, what with the noise. It’s deafening, seeming to suck all sound from the room and amplify it back to them, loud and distorted and painful. They would have to shout over it to be able to hear each other, but equally, they loath the idea of contributing more turbulence to the cacophony. Gwen, Morgana, and Mordred, in particular, stare at the deep, black, seemingly endless crack in the fabric of their existence with a horror they’ve never experienced before. The others... they have experienced it before, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less horrifying, and they struggle to rip their eyes away to look at the Merlins. It’s only their clothes that tell them apart, their clothes, and the way that only one of them seems to be going pale and shaky at the sound of the ear piercing screeches coming from inside the Veil. Like nails on slate.

Lance is the first to yell, his voice echoing in all different pitches and tones around the room as he struggles to be heard:

“You need to figure it out soon! It’s been getting bigger by the minute, and I have to slip back through, to Avalon, before you shut it, otherwise it won’t work!”

Gwen responds quickly, seeming to lose interest in The Veil entirely as a few tears escape her eyes:

“You can’t stay? Can’t we find a way to bring you off the Island? Can’t you come home?!”

He frowns, teary himself as he shakes his head:

“No. I’m sorry, Gwen, I don’t belong here. I have... responsibilities. And part of my soul being forced to resurrect in the form of a Shade... that’s the whole reason this happened. I have to go.”

Everyone accepts it quickly enough, though they’re clearly unhappy about having to let him go once more. They suppose it’s easier now that they know he’s ok; he’s happy, safe, keeping busy in... Avalon, wherever that is. The time’s Merlin grips his arm tightly at a particularly vicious gust of wind, and changes the subject:

“You know the most about this, how do we shut it?”

He looks to The Veil, looks to The King, and seeing the trust in his eyes, looks to the two Merlins:

“You’re Emrys! You have enough power, especially between the two of you, and especially if Mordred and- especially if Mordred helps. Just tell it what you want it to do, it should obey!”

If anyone notices his slip up, no one points it out; Mordred nods and steps forward, though frowns when a thought apparently occurs to him:

“What about the Cailleach?!”

Lancelot appears angry, only for a moment before it disappears and he yells over the growing noise:

“Fuck her! You don’t need her, not anymore! We’re running out of time!!”

The group nods, all gripping each other tightly as the wind grows, almost lifting them from the ground and dragging them into the rift; Percival has both Gwen and Elyan clinging to him, finding safety in the heaviest and strongest of them all, whilst Gwaine, Leon, Arthur, and Morgana anchor each other. Lancelot turns to face the Veil, pulling the two Merlins and Mordred together so they don’t trip and slide towards the Tear when he lets go. Everyone has to stop themselves from reaching out towards him when he begins walking towards the Veil, leaning back against the violent force to stop himself from being taken off his feet. He turns back at the last moment, screaming as loud as his lungs can manage and still only barely being heard:

“Merlin!! I’ll come find you next time you die and bring you to Avalon! Freya wants to see you! She misses you!!”

Both Merlins tear up, but the current allows the future to answer, already suspecting what will happen if they succeed; he’s decided that if... if this is where either everyone dies, or this Merlin ceases to exist, then he can afford to be a little kind to himself:

“Tell her I love her!!”

Lancelot smiles slightly and nods, but doesn’t get time to answer before the gale becomes too much for him to resist and he has to step through, to the other side.

The Veil tears even more, growing tall into the sky as sharp black claws rip through, holding on to the edge of existence as their anchor. Mordred is the first one to thrust his arms forwards, his eyes glowing golden as he yells:

“We don’t have time!! It looks like they’re early so it’s now or never!!”

The Merlins nod and push their own hands forward, groaning with the effort of forcing their magic to the edges of the Tear without letting it pull them into oblivion. With a blinding light of gold clashing against darkness, the edges slowly begin to push together, starlight stitches appearing at the top and bottom, pulling tightly and disappearing into the bright noon sky as the Veil heals, forcing the claws so disappear. It’s slow work, difficult and tiring, and after minutes of the Veil barely closing a few metres in all the time, Mordred groans loudly, hands shaking, eyes clamped shut:

“This isn’t... this isn’t enough! I can’t keep this up!!”

He sounds close to tears in his agony, and Morgana decides, in that moment, that she should have matched his bravery two days ago; she lets go of her brother, allowing the darkness to pull her forward, catching herself between the two Merlins even as Arthur reaches out for her desperately:

“Morgana!! What are you doing?!”

She can barely speak as she lifts her own arms, gold spilling from her eyes and hands and joining with the stitches of Merlin, Merlin, and Mordred:

“What I... should have done.... from the beginning!!”

No one says anything more, all praying and hoping and begging that this, whatever this is, is enough.

A minute passes. Two. Three. Four. The three Warlocks and the Witch seem to gain traction, their power growing more and more intense the further they manage to push The Veil closed. Eventually, despite the deafening noise and the blinding light, they manage it, closing the last of the darkness away with a great heave of breath and one last push.

Everyone falls to the floor, panting, feeling as though they’re floating with the sudden lack of extreme force on their bodies. The magic users are the last to rise, only able to get to their feet as other members of the group rush towards them on wobbly legs and pull them up, Gwen and Elyan to Morgana, Gwaine to Mordred, Arthur to one Merlin, and Leon to the other.

It’s Elyan. clearing his throat and still gripping tightly to his sister, that is the first to break the blissful silence:

“How do we-”

He realises he’s yelling and coughs again, speaking quietly:

“-How do we know it worked? We thought the Veil was closed last time, but apparently not.”

Leon’s Merlin, the group’s Merlin, answers gravely, glancing to his future self with what looks disturbingly like pity:

“We should know soon enough.”

He barely finishes his sentence when his counterpart collapses to the floor, dragging Arthur down with him. Everyone goes quickly to crowd the two of them, but Merlin waves a hand and they’re frozen in their spots; the magic seems to be tiring him faster than normal, which is to be expected, so he just shakes his head subtly as he looks to each of them before releasing them all. They seem to get the idea, staying back back but staring on mournfully as Arthur rests the other Merlin’s head in his lap, cradling him ever so gently:

“No.”

The creature smiles weakly but shakes his head:

“All your courage, Arthur, it can’t save me now.”

Tears drop from Arthur’s eyes as he shuffles on the floor, trying to keep Merlin comfortable but also hovering his hands over his chest, trying to figure out what’s wrong:

“I won’t lose you, not after everything, I-”

Merlin rolls his eyes fondly and takes his hand in a weak grip. He’s lethargic, more than that, his movements slurred as he opens and closes his mouth, like he keeps forgetting what he wants to say. His eyes close, and Arthur, among everyone, weeps, thinking it the last time, before they fly open again. He struggles slightly, and though The King is shocked, he doesn’t let go, clamping his eyes shut when Merlin’s remain unfocused and confused. He mutters quietly, frightened and angry, though everyone hears him, even over the sound of their own heartbreak:

“Elyan... I left... I can’t... I can’t go. I left... left him. I have to... he’s hurt, I left him.”

Elyan darts forward, kneeling down opposite Arthur and taking Merlin’s other hand softly in his own, stroking his forehead until he looks up at him:

“You didn’t leave me, Merlin, I’m right here. You and I are staying right here, neither of us are going anywhere.-”

He looks up to his own Merlin, grateful that no one acknowledges the tears on his cheeks—though that would have been hypocritical, considering everyone bar their own Merlin is crying at least a little—as he whispers:

“-Is there nothing we can do?”

Elyan’s own Merlin sighs and shakes his head, responding with furrowed brows and soft words:

“I’m sorry. The time he came from... it doesn’t exist anymore. He doesn’t exist.”

Elyan gulps but nods, looking back down to the slowly dying creature in Arthur’s lap, not releasing his hand for a second as he smiles and repeats his earlier words:

“Neither of us are going anywhere. We won, Merlin, you just need to rest, and everything will be fine.”

His voice cracks and splits as he says it, and whether the creature smiles because he believes him, or smiles because he knows he’s lying, because he knows why he’s lying, Elyan can’t quite tell. He doesn’t think it matters really, not when he creaks out a groaned:

“Just, hold me please. Please.”

Arthur tightens the grip he has around his shoulders and chest and face, and Elyan holds his hand tightly, right through the last breath. Before they can even check for a pulse, the body shimmers slightly, fading and becoming glassy and see through before suddenly collapsing into sparkling white dust. Arthur and Elyan almost fall into each other before scrambling back, staring between their hands and the cloud of stardust currently floating away on a light breeze in horror. Merlin, their Merlin, the only Merlin, steps forward, kneeling down and resting a hand on either of their shoulders:

“He’s gone. But if it makes you feel any better... he never existed. Which means he never suffered. I’m... I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.-”

The two men look up at him quickly, pouncing on him with teary eyes and shaking limbs as the other members of the group finally crowd in, all grabbing softly at Merlin’s tunic and hair and hands, in desperate need of some sort of comfort, that he is here, that he isn’t going to turn to dust before their eyes.

Merlin sighs, tired, exhausted really, and allows himself to be held, gripping especially tightly to Arthur and Elyan, and forcing himself to remain hyper aware of Mordred and Morgana’s positions; at least half of his brain is always concerned about them. He struggles to stay awake as the warmth and pressure winds him down from an adrenaline fuelled desperation to fix the Veil, to a languid, listless need to just... let go. To not need to be so tightly held together, for once. The Warlock knows that sleeping is probably not the best thing he could do right now, and with the last of his resolve, he forces himself to stand, gently pushing everyone bar Arthur away from him:

“We should get back. I need a... a nap. And a drink.”

Arthur snorts a soft laugh, obviously equally as tired, but pulls him into another tight hug, cradling the back of Merlin’s head softly, but crushing their chests together tightly, not that the Warlock would complain:

“If you think I’m letting you out of my sight ever again...”

Merlin copies his laugh, holding onto Arthur securely and deciding, not too surprisingly, that if Arthur is content to follow him around and keep him safe for the rest of his life, despite everything, well then. Merlin is content with that as well. He’s always wanted a brother.

~

THE END!!!

At long last!!!

As a prologue, Merlin dirties himself up, travels back in time and re-enacts everything so that no... paradoxes or whatever appear. But it was so long I really couldn’t be bothered to write it all out just for the sake of fixing a minor plot hole.

I almost made this Merthur, but I also love some background Freylin so🥺🤩

I hope y’all enjoyed!!!!! Let me know!!!

[sneakyboymerlin]

Hi!!! Do you have any like. Hcs or thoughts on that one gwaine scene in a servant of two masters, where he looks like such a sad puppy bc possessed!merlin was mean to him? Do you think they ever talk about it? Especially since well. Merlin doesn’t REMEMBER anything in between morgana showing him the snake and Gaius later telling him he was trying to kill Arthur- I just. It hurts my heart, that sad Gwaine look, and the fact that in the very best episode he is right there helping Merlin look for Gaius

Oh I have many, many thoughts.

First, it’s vital to remember that we did not actually see the complete scene when they first reunite because part of the script was cut. Find the missing parts here. It seems to continue from the lines “You know what I like about Merlin? He never expects any praise. All these things he does, just for the good of doing them…” This can be considered fully canon, despite being absent from the final cut, because Gwaine refers to Merlin as “Bog Man” later on.

We may not see Gwaine’s full reaction after Merlin reappears, but Arthur and Gwaine only brought two horses on the rescue mission, so it can be inferred that Merlin rode back with Gwaine (which may explain why he didn’t make any successful attempts on Arthur’s life until they returned to Camelot).

One other factor to keep in mind: Gaius, Gwen, and Arthur each approach Merlin from the perspective that, having been in the hands of bandits for days, he is currently processing a traumatizing experience (truer than they know). It can be inferred that Gwaine is no different here, even if his approach seems to be. I’ve said it once before, but Gwaine—like everyone else—likely attributes Merlin’s newfound attitude to his recent trauma.

Based on that information, it’s safe to say that Gwaine could have responded in one of two ways:

He didn’t take Merlin’s emotional lashing-out personally because Merlin had only just returned from being held hostage by bandits.

He did take it personally because he believes that’s how Merlin really thinks of him—maybe Merlin just doesn’t want to pretend right now.

In any case, he probably never brought it up, just accepted the treatment because… it’s Merlin.

If we look at how Merlin snaps at Gwaine in the following episode, but miraculously does not deter Gwaine in his anger, it seems that Gwaine is handling the hurt with grace, choosing not to apprehend Merlin out of understanding for his feelings.

Regardless, he doesn’t seem to believe that Merlin actually dislikes him and even argues for his own usefulness. But he may also feel that he needs to repair whatever’s broken in their relationship, and perhaps he only sees his worth as far as he can be of some benefit to Merlin.

Moving forward, did they ever talk about what Merlin said while possessed? My guess is, no. Merlin and Gwaine’s dynamic in the event of Gaius’ kidnapping is emotionally consistent with where they left off in the prior episode. Gwaine’s act of camaraderie has been harshly rejected by Merlin, and Merlin feels some rejection himself when Gwaine and the knights try to kill him (while he’s disguised lol) in the woods.

So really, those two interactions are the starting point that they’re coming from when Merlin walks in to see that Gwaine’s been waiting to see him. It makes sense if Gwaine doesn’t know the real reason for why Merlin was harsh with him, and it further explains Merlin’s assumption that Gwaine isn’t going to believe him (besides the fact that he’s just been basically accused of treason for telling the truth). Merlin and Gwaine both feel like there’s a distance between them, but for entirely different reasons. It’s ultimately due to this major miscommunication.

Besides their self-inflicted self-isolation habits, there’s another reason they probably didn’t talk about it. If Gwaine never brought it up, then Merlin has no way of knowing that it’s hanging in the air between them, since he has no memory of his time under the enchantment. He also wouldn’t be able to tell Gwaine the full truth without potentially revealing that it was him in the woods, not an actual assassin, but who’s to say what lie he might’ve told Gwen? She didn’t seem to know what Merlin had to do to get rid of the Fomorrah, so what he tells Gwaine of the incident is up in the air I guess.

If you want an answer, I would say that if they did talk about it, it was after they rescued Gaius, not before. In all honesty, I don’t believe it happened in canon. But whether their relationship ever fully recovers (at least in that margin of time) is difficult to gauge. Even if those events continued to stand between them for the rest of their friendship, it didn’t stop them from caring about each other or trying to fix it. And that is in and of itself a sure sign of their bond :-)

[weakforarwen]

The Sword in the Stone Part 1 opens with another unfunny Merthur scene, which is really just fatshaming, followed by more pointless Merthur banter (as well as Arthur's confession that he still deeply missed Gwen after seeing Percival looking cozy with a girl).

I loved how they cut from Merlin bragging about being a great secret keeper to Agravaine and Morgana invading Camelot. Oh, the irony.

The single dumbest thing the show did in all of the first four seasons (season 5 is on a league of its own when it comes to stupidity) was to make Arthur a brainwashed "simpleton" in the finale. What the fuck were they thinking?

Gaius would've never suggested that Merlin use magic so openly in front of Arthur, least of all to take away his free will.

Everything about Arthur being a "simpleton" screamed ableism.

It was completely unfunny and pathetic.

What spell did Merlin even use on Arthur? If he took away his will and made him more compliant, why was Arthur saying thank you and sorry all of a sudden? Merlin didn't even have to tell Arthur to do anything most of the time. And since when do people with no free will sit with their legs open like children and hug trees?

How could Merlin, who always talked a good game about using his powers for good, actually use the fact that Arthur was at his mercy to "teach him a lesson" on manners?

I also absolutely hate Tristan. The dude was insufferable, and casting a 40 year old actor as a 20 year old's love interest was so stupid. They had a bigger age gap than Merlin and Hunnith, ffs. Besides, Tristan and Isolde had no chemistry and were so transparently meant to mirror Arthur and Gwen in some way.

Arthur learned of Agravaine's betrayal the same way he had learned of Morgana's. He asked Merlin why it was always him being betrayed, and the answer is: "Yes, Arthur, it's because you are that stupid, and because the people around you don't care enough to make you see the truth, for some reason". Of course, Merlin immediately tried to make Arthur feel better about himself, but Merlin was equally at fault for Arthur not knowing of Agravaine's betrayal beforehand.

So, not only did Arthur lose Camelot, learn of Agravaine's betrayal, and have Tristan looking down on him the whole time, he also missed Gwen dearly:

Tristan: Well, I may have lost my cargo, but I still have my beloved Isolde. A: Then you're richer than you know.

The best part about this episode was hands down Arthur and Gwen's reunion. It was truly a beautiful and bittersweet moment. Kudos to Bradley for looking so heartbroken, yet relieved and happy, to see Gwen. He outdid Angel for once. Their hug was so painfully beautiful - like, I was physically in pain. This is one of the best Arwen scenes.

Arwen in The Sword in the Stone almost made the entire Lancelot du Lac fiasco worth it. I hate what they did to Arwen and Lancelot, and I hate Gwen's banishment, but there's something so beautiful and kind about their reunion. I love the idea that you can forgive someone who betrayed you even if you don't understand why they hurt you. It's not always possible to understand another person's actions, no matter how hard you try, and we have to accept that. We have to accept that we don't have all the answers in life and to live despite our fears.

It may feel foolish to forgive someone who hurt us for apparently no good reason, but if we don't want to lose that person, and believe they are worth forgiveness and well-intentioned, why not forgive them? It will only make us feel better, lighter. It's an act of kindness to ourselves and the other person that requires great courage. There's no point in holding on to resentment and pain even if it feels justified and righteous. There's no such thing as righteous anger tbh.

Sometimes, forgiving people we don't want to forgive, because we fear or know they won't change and will hurt us again, or because we can't understand how someone who loves us could hurt us so much, is actually the best thing for us. It's so hard to let go of that feeling of betrayal, that grief and anger and resentment.

The fact that Arthur put all those emotions and memories behind him and opened his heart up to Gwen again, completely and without reserve, was truly one of the bravest and hardest things Arthur ever did. I think people underestimate the courage, strength, and purity of heart it takes to make such a decision. If you're hateful, angry, bitter, or cynical in any way, you won't be able to do it. Arthur chose to trust Gwen with his heart and his kingdom, and to value her opinion above all others, again. It was an act of great love. Only someone who loved another person greatly and unconditionally would be able to swallow their pride and their fears to welcome them back into their heart.

My mom always says there's no pride in love. I'm not sure that's true, but Arthur made a good case for it. For me, that was the saving grace of Lancelot du Lac - the one thing Arthur did in this finale that showed his great heart. Otherwise, he didn't really prove himself.

[thesleepy1]

My King Shall Have Everything

A/N: A fuck load of people seemed to like my last Merthur fic. I even got a request for a sequel from @antobcq who wanted a 5+1 fic where Arthur couldn’t get anything done without Merlin on his lap. I haven’t done one of these fics in ages but I’m down with this prompt. I also love the headcanon where Merlin is a better court member and adviser than Arthur and completely leaves Arthur in the dust during diplomatic meetings. Unbeta’d as always, we die like Arthur.

Extra note, this turned out much longer than I expected it to. This might be my longest fic yet. I didn’t mean for it to be like this but I spent too much time on it to just leave it alone. And much to my surprise, it’s a linear storyline as well. I hope you all enjoy it and feel free to give me some feedback. Do you prefer the linear storylines or short snippets of scenes? Also, kind of sorry for the slight angst. My bad. It got worse towards the end, I was getting really tired and wasn’t completely sure how to end it. It’s not on the highest note is all I’ll say.

Pairings: Merlin x Arthur, slight Gwen x Morgana

Summary: Five times Arthur couldn’t get anything done without Merlin on his lap and one time where Merlin couldn’t get anything done without Arthur on his lap.

Word count: 10,485

Warnings: Lap sitting, fluff, physical touch, sexual content, grinding, angst, wounds, violence, character death, more warnings to be added, more tags to be added, proceed with caution, breeding kink, impregnation kink, mentions of dub/con, possessive behavior, obsessive behavior, eugenics, blood, gore, hurt/comfort, angst/comfort, whump, injuries, begging, character death, mentions of public executions, long fic, foul language, asphyxiation, strangulation, choking,

Arthur was good at many things, but being on time was not one of them. Especially, when at the end of the hall he had to attend a council meeting with some of the most stuck up people he had ever met, and that was saying something considering he had to spend the last winter with his extended family. His advisers had been up his ass all week about the new rising kingdom beyond the continent. A kingdom so far away, he had just heard of it several months prior. It was like the kingdom had appeared overnight, suddenly a new ink blotch taking over the lower side of the map.

Personally, he didn’t believe it was real in the first place, having a squadron of knights and hired mercenaries sail over to investigate this so-called Kingdom of Le Lubrique. Much to his disbelief, they didn’t come back empty handed and instead returned with a message. A greeting, as his advisers and Merlin had called it.

To Arthur, it was merely stiff aristocrats getting together in too large a room to talk about dull nonsense. Something he had enough of in his own kingdom. Every other month he was already forced to put on a brave face and converse with the other ruling kings and queens of the continent; he didn’t need another to add on to the mix. He already loathed the balls he was required to host.

“You’re late,” Merlin hissed at him as he entered through a side door so as to not alert the others of his presence.

“That’s kind of the point of me coming here long after the time I was supposed to, Merlin,” Arthur rolled his eyes, sneaking behind the other advisers present to his seat. Merlin begrudgingly followed right on his tail.

“This is serious Arthur, you should have been here ten minutes ago!” Merlin nagged a tad too loudly.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the great king of Camelot himself. I’m delighted to see you have graced us with the honor of your belated attendance,” said an adviser from the guest kingdom with a tone that made Arthur want to stab him, wars be damned.

“I hope you could excuse my tardiness just this once,” Arthur began, trying to come up with a plausible excuse. He looked over to Merlin for help, but the warlock looked clueless as usual. “It...was just that I was caught up with...making sure my...uh...husband’s family were making themselves at home. The in-laws are visiting, you see. You know how hard it can be to keep them happy.”

Merlin looked like he wanted to hang Arthur with his own entrails at the king’s quick thinking. Camelot’s advisers seemed to be considering throwing themselves from the window. And the guest advisers seemed content with Arthur’s answer; though not pleased.

“Oh, believe me,” one of them began, a tall woman with high cheekbones and piercing brown eyes, “I know exactly how tiring in-laws can be.” She let out a high pitched laugh like the sound of dying blue jays; the sound made Arthur want to join his advisers as they inched towards the open windows.

“Well, yes, hahaha, they can be quite a hassle. Especially people that are related to my husband here,” Arthur clapped his hands, smiling at Merlin as he took his seat at the head of the table, “Shall we properly begin then?”

Arthur truly and wholeheartedly regretted agreeing to the whole thing. It was hour after hour of mindless words with little to no meaning. They just went on and on about things that meant little to nothing. He tried to tune out their voices but the tall woman’s laugh was like the crack of a whip, bringing him back to reality each time someone made a vaguely funny comment.

“Are you alright, Arthur?” Merlin said in a hushed tone next to his side. Concern had brought his dark eyebrows together. Arthur was tempted to take his fingers and smooth out Merlin’s worry, but perhaps that was too intimate an act for a meeting. Then again, when did Arthur care about what other people thought of him and his husband.

“I’m fine, Merlin,” Arthur sighed, “Just so bored with all of this.”

“How could you be bored? Have you been listening to half of what they’ve been saying? For a kingdom so small they have so much potential. Their farmlands double ours, as well as their ores, and their medicine is even on par to Gaius’s.” Merlin continued on with such a light in his eyes that Arthur was distracted like a moth to a glowing flame.

“Arthur, have you been listening to what I’ve been saying?”

The king shook his head softly, slightly ashamed for not paying attention to his husband. “I’m sorry. I’m just so distracted. I need something to ground me if I’m going to survive another dreadful hour of this,” he groaned, thinking over if the fall from the window would kill him or lethally wound him. Either way, he’d be away from this horror with Merlin at his bedside playing nurse. At the private thought, an idea crossed his mind that had him delighted.

“You know what would help me?” Arthur began, a smirk tugging at his lips.

“What?” Merlin gave him a suspicious look, having seen the grin on the king many times before.

“It’ll really help if you were on my lap.” Merlin gave him an incredulous glare, ready to smack him across the back of the head for such a suggestion during such a crucial conference. “Please, Merlin? You really do help me focus.”

The warlock seemed to be thinking over Arthur’s request, a frown twisting his face. He looked like he was going to say no, but the pleading look on Arthur’s face made him change his mind. “Just this once. I don’t want to make a habit of this, Arthur,” Merlin warned in a hurried voice.

“Just this once,” Arthur lied through his teeth.

The second king of Camelot sat himself on the first, his side pressed against Arthur’s chest. Arthur wound his arm around Merlin and held him tightly. The action seemed to have garnered the attention of the visitors who looked at the pair strangely. And for some odd reason, the visiting ladies of the guest kingdom seemed to be glaring intently at Merlin.

“We are ever so sorry to be boring you, your majesty, but there is still much to discuss,” a visiting high lord coughed, glaring at the pair. “I apologize that our talk of declining population, racial biases against commoners and sorcerers, and ever so low birth rates have made you tired, but considering it may be the undoing of Le Lubrique, I deem it vital,” he practically snarled.

Arthur’s grip on Merlin tightened, his other hand palming Merlin’s thighs. The warlock couldn’t hide the grin that was stretched across his beautiful face at the touch. The king absolutely loved that grin. Arthur glared right back at those who dared question his behavior, for him showing his love for his king. He sounded in a stern voice that left no room for argument, “No apologies needed. Please, continue.”

“Don’t let us disturb you,” Merlin added with a more snarky tone, commanding the same amount of respect. “You have our full attention.”

-----

“Must I attend? You’ll be there, is that not enough?” Arthur whined as Merlin buttoned up his shirt.

“We are hosting a party in the Kingdom of Le Lubrique’s honor. Their queen has traveled all the way here to properly meet us,” Merlin pressed a kiss to Arthur’s cheek for the effort. “Must I continue?”

“Only if you wish, my dear,” Arthur pointed to his other cheek, waiting for the same treatment as the other.

Merlin rolled his eyes, pressing another kiss to Arthur. “I’m serious, Arthur, this could mean an all out war or the strongest of ally ship. I mean, have you read the reports of what their kingdom is like? It sounds, and excuse for my word choice but there really is no other way to describe it; magical. I would love to visit the country myself. If we make a good impression they might invite us for a stay,” he continued, tying a red handkerchief with Camelot’s crest around his own neck.

“And that’s why the second king of Camelot would be in attendance.”

Merlin left Arthur in their room after that, knowing that Arthur would follow him. “Are you really going to make me sit there and listen to them go on and on about their plan to repopulate their country, or over tax their people for the food that’s in abundance? Come on, Merlin, we could have our council handle it.” Arthur stepped in front of Merlin to block his way. “Why don’t we head back to our room and make this a more entertaining night?” he wiggled his eyebrows to make sure Merlin got his point.

Merlin heard him loud and clear and rightfully ignored Arthur’s attempt to get into his pants. He sidestepped the man to continue on his path, turning a corner to the ballroom. “Do you hear yourself? What kind of impression would that give Le Lubrique if you just suddenly disappeared?!” Arthur turned to run back to their room just to prove Merlin’s point, but the warlock quickly magicked him back to his side. “You’re coming with me whether you like it or not.”

And that was how Arthur ended up sitting on his throne, bored out of his mind and unwilling to be civil or sociable when he could have spent the entire evening snuggled inside Merlin. He could have been in bed by now, having Merlin moaning his name underneath him, but instead Arthur watched as the guest and court mingled and danced. The instrumentalists bobbed their heads in tune to their upbeat song.

Despite refusing to speak to anyone besides Morgana, and Merlin, and occasionally Gwen when she could spare a moment from dancing; he had learned quite a bit about their guests. The fact that although they had a vast amount of farmlands, they had little people to work in them. Which came as a shock to Arthur because he had learned earlier on that Le Lubrique consisted of mostly sorcerers.

Le Lubrique’s queen was the tall woman with a voice that made Arthur’s ears bleed. Her lady in waiting seemed to be a distant relative from their shared trait of high cheekbones, drowning brown eyes, and dark hair. The two were glued at the hip, her lady in waiting obsessively trailing behind her like a newborn duckling wherever they went. They were both strong magic users if Merlin’s gushing was anything to go by. And also very beautiful with fancy perfume that complimented each other so nicely that they smelt like heaven, from Merlin’s words of course, not his. If Arthur didn’t know any better, he would think Merlin fancied them; the queen and her lady in waiting.

Even when the queen was dancing with a number of council members, the servant would be right next to her. It was quite amusing to watch them struggle to sway in time with the music. Arthur had already made bets with Gwen on the number of times party guests would refuse dances with the pair because they refused to separate. So far Arthur was winning.

That was until the queen smugly asked Merlin for a dance. Her lady in waiting immediately stepped away like someone had called for her assistance, leaving the queen alone with Merlin. Much to Arthur’s disappointment, Merlin happily accepted the dance. He took the queen’s hand and off they went, twirling around as if they were the only ones in the room. His hands on her shoulder and waist, her hands virtually tearing his clothes from his chest.

The way the queen of Le Lubrique looked at Merlin made a sick feeling build up from the pit of Arthur’s stomach. She was undressing him with her eyes, the brown in her gaze turning an almost pitch black from lust. The woman said something that made Merlin taken aback, something about dragons and druids, but it was hard to hear from the chatter of the room. For all Arthur knew, it could have very well been a spell.

Merlin recovered quickly with a grin and laugh that had Arthur’s heart skipping a beat. Then the two of them had the audacity to continue dancing as if nothing had happened, the queen still shamelessly pulling at Merlin’s fine clothes that only Arthur was allowed to rip away.

Arthur didn’t know why Merlin didn’t stop the queen when she pulled his handkerchief from his neck. The king was almost killed for even playing with Merlin’s handkerchief and now this woman was doing the same without losing an arm and a leg? Completely unfair. That was proof in itself, she had casted a spell on Merlin.

“Merlin,” Arthur called out to his husband sternly only to be ignored once more. “Merlin,” Arthur stepped away from his throne, making his way towards his husband and the queen.

“I think you should go to bed before things get ugly,” Morgana gently warned Gwen, gesturing towards Arthur’s outburst. “It could either go well or we’ll die of secondhand embarrassment.”

“Thank you for your concern, my love,” Gwen replied with a smirk, “But I want to see how this unfolds.”

Morgana laughed at that, glancing between Arthur and Merlin. “Suit yourself.”

The two high ladies watched as Arthur pulled Merlin away from the queen of Le Lubrique, dragging him away from the woman as she stared on in horror. To Gwen's and Morgana’s surprise, the queen tried to pull Merlin back into her arms. Merlin seemed to be in a daze throughout the whole skirmish. His eyes glazed over, even from afar.

“Should we step in?” Gwen asked with concern, ready to intervene.

“Arthur can handle it, probably.”

The queen called her lady in waiting to help her. Three heads tugged at poor Merlin like he was flax rope at a kingdom fair. The lady in waiting tried to block Arthur from getting a good grip on Merlin while the queen tried to take more of Merlin’s clothes off. A crowd was forming and Morgana distinctively noticed coins being passed around in bets.

“Are you sure, my love?”

“Oh, It's just getting good,” Morgana grinned like a Cheshire cat. “How much are you willing to bet, my beloved?”

Finally, as the crowd began cheering, Arthur twisted out of the lady in waiting’s grip and grabbed hold of Merlin’s waist. The king lifted the warlock up in a bridal carry and turned on his heel for his throne, the crowd parting in heckles and laughs. Arthur blatantly ignored them, sitting down on his throne with Merlin in his lap. Unfortunately, he was unable to retrieve Merlin’s handkerchief, a matter he will surely not hear the end of for quite some time. But between a measly piece of fabric and Merlin’s life, Arthur would choose Merlin time and time again, his own life be damned.

Taking a moment to throw a sneer at Gwen and Morgana who were snickering, Arthur tried to shake Merlin out of the haze. “Are you alright, Merlin?” He stroked Merlin’s arms gently, trying to bring him back to the present. His blue gray eyes were a stormy glaze, seemingly out of it. It made an ugly feeling swirl around in Arthur’s head, the fact that some queen had touched his Merlin in such a way made Arthur sick.

Merlin shuddered in Arthur’s hold, looking down at himself and then at the ballroom floor where others had returned to dancing. Confusion crossed his face, “Of course, I’m alright,” he furrowed his eyebrows, “How did I get here?” Merlin rubbed at his temple, trying to soothe the ache that had formed there.

“Arthur carried you like the jealous brute he is,” Morgana explained, passing Gwen a handful of coins.

“Jealous brute?” Merlin questioned, looking at the trio for a real explanation.

Arthur was about to defend himself when a member of Le Lubrique’s court approached them. “Haha, I couldn’t help but notice the spectacle that you put on there, sire,” the man addressed Merlin.

“I’m sorry, I don’t quite follow.”

The man laughed again, mirth in his eyes. “I guess you wouldn’t,” he said vaguely, “The queen does have a way with words.”

“What do you mean by that?” Arthur butted in, holding Merlin a tad too tight. Merlin squirmed in Arthur’s lap but Arthur seemed to hardly notice.

“Well, you are a warlock, aren’t you, sire?” the man addressed Merlin once more. Merlin nodded despite himself. “A warlock as well as a dragonlord under the queen’s attention is bound to feel the efforts of her magic. And her special attention for that matter, hahaha.”

“Sorry,” Merlin began, more confused than before. “What do you mean by that expactly?”

“Our queen is a lovely dragon tamer. Her family is the last of their kind. Although taming a dragon is much easier when you have someone who can speak to the creatures,” the man laughed as if telling a joke only he knew the punchline to and walked away as if nothing had happened.

Least to say, the rest of the night Arthur didn’t let Merlin out of his sight. He had no idea what a dragon tamer was and Merlin seemed as lost as he was, but he wasn’t taking any chances. No one was going to “tame” his lover. Whatever that meant. Morgana and Gwen could laugh and call him jealous all they want, Arthur only had Merlin’s best interest at heart.

“I doubt having me be a lap warmer is in my best interest.”

-----

It had been weeks and Arthur naively thought they were done interacting with the kingdom of Le Lubrique. He had hoped to be finished with the rising kingdom, to leave them alone as long as they left him be.

He was rarely fortunate these days. Never even.

Apparently, Merlin was not deterred by almost being kidnapped by the queen and her lady in waiting. Merlin even said he enjoyed their company and their attention to his every breathing word. Arthur loved the man, but sometimes he could be quite an idiot.

Merlin, without Arthur’s knowledge, had invited a member of Le Lubrique’s court to stay at the castle. Who else to volunteer to come to Camelot but the queen’s lady in waiting. She was only supposed to be in the kingdom for a couple of weeks, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. That couple of weeks turned into a couple of months and eventually the woman practically lived there. She had made herself at home on day one, much to Arthur’s dismay. He couldn’t really kick her out without making a bad impression towards her kingdom, despite what her queen had already done.

He was a king. Much to his reluctance, he had to act like it. And that meant acting like you liked people that you hated to the core.

“And these are our forests,” Arthur gestured to the thick wall of trees that signified the beginning of the woods. “I typically take neighboring kings hunting here. If you’re interested, we can go if you’d like.”

Sylvy, the lady in waiting, sat on her horse with her head held high. For someone with a position like her’s, she acted like she was queen herself. Arthur had spent the whole day trying to show her around for the utmost time. She was never satisfied with what he showed her, as if she were looking for a break in the walls of the kingdom.

Every morning she demanded to be taken around on a tour and every afternoon she was left with a deep frown on her face. Nothing made her happy it seemed, and Arthur had truly tried to make her feel at the very least, welcomed. It was just so difficult to do so with the knowledge of what she had done to Merlin. Had enchanted him, put him in a daze of some sort.

If Camelot still had the ban on magic, she would’ve been dead the moment she laid a hand on Merlin. On the crown’s orders, she would have been hung or burned, some form of public execution. Her dark hair would go up in flames as the fire burned higher and higher, her head would hang low as the bucket was kicked out underneath her. Arthur was still considering having her prisoned for what she did and simply explained to her queen that there had been a freak accident. If he were a lesser man, a lesser king, he would’ve done so and let it be a warning.

“I despise hunting as a sport, it’s just mindlessly cruel,” she snarled, her lips curling as a show of disdain. She held the reins to her horse like a vice, afraid that she’d be ripped from the saddle and forced to participate in such barbaric practices. At least, that was what Arthur thought was swimming through her mind.

“Yes, yes, but some like the adrenaline rush of a good hunt,” Arthur explained without real passion, merely a form of continuing the dry conversation. Sylvy had woken him up so early that morning he barely had a chance to give Merlin a goodbye kiss. “Some have to do it to survive.”

“There are other ways to live,” Sylvy began, urging her horse to turn by towards the main part of the kingdom, seeing as they were on the outskirts. “Le Lubrique for one replies solely on farmlands. We have no need for meat or the slaughtering of innocent animals. Everyone can live without such a horrible act; people and sorcerers alike. Meat is simply murder.”

Arthur half heartedly nodded, trailing behind her while trying not to fall off his horse. “I can’t argue with you there.” He didn’t want to argue with about anything her to be truthful, he had had enough of that already.

They traveled at a moderate trot in silence before she spoke up again. “Why haven't you invited me to a council meeting? I’ve been here for ages. Surely you have these sorts of things at least once a month.” She tried to act nonchalantly, but Arthur could see right through her. “I mean, there must be all sorts of things to discuss. An heir to the throne for one, seeing as neither you nor king Merlin can bear children.”

“We just haven’t had any council meetings, nothing interesting to report that couldn’t be done with a quill and parchment is all,” Arthur lied with a fake smile she could not see. “And an heir doesn’t need to be of blood. They just need to be taught how to properly command a kingdom like a fair and just ruler. To know what’s best for a kingdom, who to trust and who to leave behind in the woods.”

A look of abhorrence lingered on Sylvy’s face at Arthur’s words, bothered that he would even say such a thing. But Arthur was right, it didn’t matter if his heir was not his child as long as they were just and fair to all that passed them. Arthur could only imagine what Le Lubrique was like if all their subjects thought the same way Sylvy did. It must be all out war for them if a bastard appeared in court one day; though in reality royal bastards were a dime a dozen.

Sylvy went quiet for a moment, calculating her words while mulling over what Arthur had said. “With a kingdom as large as yours, surely there’s action all around? Suitable women all around. Something worthwhile must have happened during my stay,” her voice took on a tone that Arthur didn’t like, a light flush painting her cheeks like some teenage girl with a crush, “What about king Merlin?”

“What about my husband?”

“What has he been up to?” Sylvy asked indifferently, trying to hide her curiosity from Arthur. If only she would try to hide that damn blush. Merlin was physically attractive, Arthur knew this as an undeniable fact, but to be so unabashed while in front of the man’s husband? What was he? The first king of Camelot reduced to chop liver. Unbelievable!

“Well, he’s the second king of Camelot. A king’s job is never done. There is always more work than one man can handle. I should know, I used to be the one doing all the work.”

They reached town just as Sylvy took on an accusatory tone, “Then what are you doing here?”

Arthur resisted the urge to strangle her in front of so many people. His fists clenched around his reins so hard his knuckles turned ivory. “I’m showing you around, just as you had requested,” Arthur gritted through his teeth, trying so very hard not to glare at her.

“And here I was, hoping to attend a meeting with the second king.”

“Really now?” Arthur could feel the mare under him shuffle on her hooves at his fury. “You know what? There might be one later today.” What he had planned was so unbelievably petty and a tad childish, but at this point, he didn’t give a damn. Sylvy was getting on his last nerve. “I’ll have a servant call you when it’s time. For now, why don’t you explore our lovely town by yourself? Walk around without a king hovering over you and all. That way, I could get back to doing my job.”

Sylvy brightened up in spite of Arthur’s words. A smile was forming on her face, her high cheekbones pushed up even farther. Her brown eyes crinkled at the notion that she’ll be able to see Merlin. “I can’t wait,” she said, unsaddling and handing the reins to her horse to Arthur. “I must get ready,” she said to herself loud enough for Arthur to hear.

“Take all the time you need.”

Arthur would regret those words later that night when he sat among his advisers. Sylvy, their honored guest was over half an hour late and the others were beginning to feel on edge. Many of them were not planned for a meeting so soon after the one they had earlier that week. It was an unprompted get together for the lady in waiting’s sake, Arthur had explained to them.

On days like these Arthur was glad he was king and that there’d be grave consequences if he were murdered by one of his advisers. They would be in the right to do so, kill him that is; but he was hoping to live long enough to raise a couple of children with Merlin.

“Why are we doing this, Arthur?” Merlin asked, hiding a yawn with his hand. While Arthur was riding around the kingdom with Le Lubrique’s queen’s lady in waiting, Merlin was left to run the kingdom by himself. The haunted task of commanding and keeping an eye on so many people was taking its toll on the sorcerer. Merlin hadn’t properly slept in days, too busy keeping the kingdom in one piece.

“Sylvy wanted to be present for a council meeting. As a member of Le Lubrique’s court, we have to answer to her call until her stay is up.” Merlin gave him a look that called Arthur out on his poorly constructed plan. “And I may or may not want her to know that you’re taken.”

Merlin rolled his eyes along with most of the present court. They should all be used to Arthur’s antics at this point. What were they expecting? An honest to god meeting to discuss important topics with their visitor from foreign lands? Never. A fake meeting just so Arthur could flaunt the fact that Merlin loved him and not some conceited queen and her lady in waiting? That was more like it.

“Sometimes I can’t believe I asked you to marry me,” Merlin yawned again, giving Arthur a tired look in more ways than one.

“Feels just like a dream, doesn’t it?”

“More like a nightmare.”

“You love me,” Arthur opened up his arms so Merlin could take his place on the king’s lap. Merlin shook his head at the gesture, so incredibly done with Arthur. “Come on, Merlin. You know you like it here.” He teasingly patted his lap. “You can rest until our guest arrives.”

“Fine,” Merlin said begrudgingly after a moment of hesitation, his mind clouded by the want for sleep. “But you better wake me up when she comes.”

“Of course,” Arthur assured, inviting Merlin over once more. This time Merlin made himself home on Arthur’s lap, his head going to rest on Arthur’s chest. He curled in Arthur’s lap like second nature, having done this so many times over the years. Arthur wrapped his arms around the younger man, making sure he was supported and comfortable. Merlin fit perfectly nonetheless. Within moments, a soft snoring sound could be heard from the man on Arthur’s lap, content in where he sat. The second king finally got the rest he deserved. “I wouldn’t wake you for the world,” Arthur whispered, rubbing soothing circles on Merlin’s arm and leg.

Another half an hour passed achingly slowly without the esteemed lady in waiting’s presence. Arthur was about to call off the whole thing and make his way to his bedchamber when at last, the doors to the room opened to reveal Sylvy. She was no longer dressed in her usual servant attire with its cream apron and blue gray dress. Instead she had ransacked the queen’s wardrobe, wearing something befitting a ball.

The dress was elegant and detailed with silk and satin; a deep shade of bourbon that brought out her brown eyes. Her hand was even done up in cascading dark curls that perfectly fell from the knot atop her head. A glittering wine hair piece sat nestled against her hair, matching perfectly with the studs in her ears. She was beautiful even without the time spent enhancing what was already there, but now she stood ready to rule a kingdom.

Sylvy took her seat across from where Merlin would have sat. “Where is king Merlin?” she asked, not noticing that the man in question was currently sleeping on Arthur’s lap.

“I’m sorry for how unprepared we were, but I can relate to your troubles of not having enough hands to run a kingdom. My husband had taken the task of ruling all alone while I tended to your needs.” Arthur pressed a kiss to Merlin’s hair when he stirred in his sleep, continuing on his over sweetened words. “He’s beyond exhausted, but still wanted to take part in our meeting. Please understand that he really did try his best to stay awake.”

The emotions that crossed Sylvy’s face came in a blur; she was unreadable. But one thing was for sure, Arthur had won this small battle. He had shoved Merlin’s unquestionable favor for him in the lady in waiting’s face. Merlin was his and his alone. For good measure Arthur pressed a deep kiss onto Merlin’s lips, the sorcerer smiling in his sleep.

His advisers on the other hand felt cheated. If the death glares shot his way were anything to go by. Though there was one from Sylvy as well. A lot of people wanted him dead at the moment. But he was perfectly happy. They could string him up after the meeting for all he cared, the unintelligible look on Sylvy’s face was worth it. She was utterly speechless.

“I’m ever so sorry we were late to start, but would you like to commence this meeting?” Arthur asked like a gentleman with a cocky grin, making sure to stare right at Le Lubrique’s envoy.

-----

When Sylvy left Arthur rejoiced. She was finally out of his hair. Things could go back to normal and he could go back to spending his free time with Merlin instead of on horseback through a bare orchard. No matter how many times Arthur explained to Sylvy that their crops were not aided by magic like Le Lubrique’s, Sylvy insisted on seeing their “mortal” development.

Everything was put back into its rightful place. He couldn’t wait to put everything about Le Lubrique behind him and move on.

He was back on the throne with Merlin, leading the kingdom just as they were before the whole ordeal with Le Lubrique. Their advisers especially liked the fact that Arthur was back with Merlin; it meant less work for them. The moment that Sylvy left their grounds, Camelot’s advisers piled parchment after novel after demands on his table.

Those selfish bastards.

The so-called requests were so thick that Merlin didn’t even make a sarcastic comment comparing it to Arthur’s ass, and, or his thick skull; the warlock simply went to work. If Arthur himself wasn’t already terrified of the workload, he would have shocked himself to the grave at Merlin’s willingness to submit to their advisers. The two kings of Camelot knew when they met their match.

What felt like weeks passed where Arthur and Merlin did nothing but what their advisers ordered. They were slaves to their own court. The two didn’t leave their room for anything, not food, not training, not even a breath of fresh air. Their knights would occasionally knock on their door to make sure they were both still alive, but once the knights of the round table had been turned down a couple dozen times, they stopped caring. Merlin and Arthur shut off the world. They were practically locked in there, all because of their own doing.

Well, mostly Merlin’s doing. He was the one who invited the envoy over and wanted to make peace with the new kingdom. Arthur had nothing to do with that prolonged visit from the devil, he was only paying the price. His hands ached like it had been shorn off at the wrists, his back screaming for him to rest. He didn’t remember the last time he touched his bed, the neatly tucked in linens calling him to slumber. But he couldn’t, neither of them could until their work was done. Their kingdom depended on it and their kingdom came first, Arthur and Merlin’s comfort second. They both knew what they had signed up for when they decided to wed.

“A-Arthur,” Merlin groaned late one night, the sun mere minutes from the horizon.

Arthur immediately looked up from his book, putting his full attention on Merlin who was on the other side of the room. Neither of them had talked in days besides the few grunts they exchanged while passing over important text. The fact that Merlin was straining his voice now meant something serious was going on.

“What’s wrong?” Arthur coughed, his throat parched and dry as a desert.

“I-I-” Merlin began, rubbing harshly at his hurt eyes, “I think that’s the last one.” The sorcerer signed one more parchment with a flick of his wrist, setting it aside to dry along with the rest.

And the thing was, Merlin was right. There was no more work to go through, to tirelessly read; everything was finally done. “I’m so tired I don’t think I can see straight, b-but that was it!”

“What?”

“We’re finished, you clophole," Merlin smiled, taking Arthur’s breath away.

Arthur leapt out of his seat, pure joy masking the aches and pains as he rushed over to Merlin’s side. The king pulled the sorcerer from his chair, lifting the man into the air, Arthur kissed Merlin like it was their wedding day. Deep and full of all the longing he had for the man, grasping at him as if he could protect Merlin from the world.

He only pulled back for air, inhaling lungfuls before pressing his lips back against Merlin’s. Arthur missed his husband so damn much despite having worked across the room for each other. He hadn’t touched the other man in ages, it was heaven to feel his heartbeat beneath his pained fingers. To kiss down Merlin’s pale neck and mark him until the whole castle knew exactly what they had been up to. To pull at Merlin’s clothes, ripping his tunic right off of his chest, the buttons flying across the room.

“Arthur,” Merlin moaned, gently pushing Arthur back so he could speak. “I liked that shirt.”

Arthur thumbed at Merlin’s trousers, holding his hips tight enough to leave marks that Merlin would feel for days to come. “I’ll get you a new one.”

“But my mother made me that one,” Merlin complained, wrapping his arms around Arthur’s neck. His strong hand went to cup Arthur’s cheek, making the king look at him. Forcing the king to calm down and evaluate things. “We have to get something to eat too, dear,” Merlin told Arthur in a loving tone. “We’re both too exhausted for this.”

“I’m never too tired for you,” Arthur bit back, leaning into Merlin’s hand. He may have been putting his weight on Merlin’s desk so as to not fall over, but Merlin didn’t need to know that. Arthur could most definitely ravage Merlin while on the brink of death.

Merlin pulled Arthur close to kiss him softly, “If we go to bed now, then we can spend all of next day together,” Merlin tried to bargain, eyes teary from lack of any sort of sleep. “You’re going to hurt yourself, you ass,” he chuckled with a small smile that made his eyes crinkle with mirth.

“I don’t want to,” Arthur whined, “I’ve worked for weeks on end. Now I want my reward for behaving.” Arthur sat back on Merlin’s desk, pulling the man on top of him. The desk groaned under their combined weight, but Arthur hardly cared when he had Merlin on his lap and straddling his thighs. “You’re all I want.” He embraced Merlin, the warlock half naked and moaning as Arthur kissed along his arm. His mouth sucked at Merlin’s skin, teeth leaving markings on pale skin claiming Merlin as his. Arthur worshiped Merlin until his stormy eyes were hazy with unabated lust.

“Just you….”

Arthur slumped forward, out like a dying candle before he even knew it. Merlin had to stifle a laugh, though he doubted anything would wake Arthur then. The king was out cold, snoring like there was no tomorrow. Too bad Merlin had to carry his fat ass over to their bed. The warlock was beginning to rethink their plans for tomorrow. Sometimes he wished Arthur wasn’t such a stubborn ass and listened to him. It would save them both the trouble, Merlin was right most of the time after all.

“Get some rest, you oaf,” Merlin said to the asleep man, tucking him into their bed. Arthur’s blonde hair was like a halo against their stark white pillow, the dark bags underneath his eyes a contrast with the paleness of his skin. His old tunic was a dull red from overuse, the buttons holding onto the fabric for dear life. Merlin stripped Arthur of his boats and stuffy tunic leaving both men in their trousers. A much better way to sleep if anyone asked.

“Good night, Arthur,” Merlin whispered into Arthur’s ear, snuggling up against the king. He threw the blankets over himself and laid on Arthur’s chest. The pull of sleep had Merlin out just as quickly, the moment he allowed his breath to even out, there was nothing that would stop him from getting the well earned sleep that he so needed.

“Rest well, Merlin,” Arthur answered in a murmur, pulling Merlin in close. “Sweet dreams, you idiot.”

-----

“Arthur, calm down and try to see reason!” Merlin all but yelled at the king without his crown. The man in question was in his knight gear, armor and chainmail strapped tightly to his body for protection. His sword hung to his side, within reach at all times. Arthur could feel something ominous looming on the horizon, it was Merlin who was still seeing the world with rose colored glasses.

“I tried to see reason. I tried to play nice. And this is what I get in return,” Arthur gestured to the pile of charred wood on the round table. Wood that was once the homes of innocent farmers who played no part in the altercations of royals. People that Arthur was supposed to protect, their livelihoods and homes included. “We were nothing but good to them and this is what happened. Dozens of houses burned to nothing overnight!”

“We have to act now, Merlin.”

“Going in there with your swords raised in offence isn’t going to do anything but start an all out war,” Merlin insisted, urging Arthur to reel himself in, to not lash out at the closest thing. If it were anyone else Merlin would have already smacked them over the head for raising their voice at him. Unfortunately, Merlin was sleeping with the man and didn’t want to be smothered in his sleep. “That’s what Le Lubrique wants; a reason to fight. We can’t give them that.”

“Then what exactly do you expect us to do, Merlin?” Gwen piped in across the table from Merlin. Morgana stood to her side, eyes darting between all the speakers in a frenzy. “They attacked first. It’s only right that we return what they have given us.” Gwen picked up a piece of wood, charcoal rubbing off on her hands as she turned it over. “Arthur is right, we just can’t sit idle.”

Merlin stared at Gwen, hoping that she would be on his side on this. She solemnly shook her head, denying her friend’s offer. Gwen wanted to go on the offence just as much as Arthur, her friends were harmed when Le Lubrique’s soldiers set fire to a section of the kingdom. They burned down acres of farmland, dozens of homes with children and elderly. Luckily, nobody was killed in the process but many were harmed. Gwen wanted vengeance for them. She was a loyal ruler, loyal to her people.

“And we won’t,” Merlin bargained, “We won’t let them gain any more than they already have. No one here knows exactly what they want from us, but we do know that they’re willing to play dirty to get it,” he went on, talking with his hands to release some of the tension. “Let me be a spy and-”

“Absolutely not.”

“You didn’t let me finish.”

“No,” Arthur said firmly, daring Merlin to argue. “You stay right here with me. I will not have you risking your life for measly information.”

“It's not measly information, Arthur. It could be the difference between thousands dead and a simple treaty. We don’t know what Le Lubrique wants, but if we do, we could try to bargain with them. No blood needs to be shed,” Merlin tried, laying a hand on Arthur’s shoulder, forcing the man to look at him. “The queen wants me. She made that very clear. She won’t hurt me if she thinks I’m on her side.”

Arthur stared at Merlin, watching the sorcerer for any sign of hesitation. When he saw nothing of the sort Arthur sat down in his chair with a huff. Merlin really wanted to do this. Spy work is equal to a as rushing in with their flag flying and swords shining; both could end with Merlin buried six feet under. Even the implication had Arthur feeling like hell.

“How am I supposed to get anything done with you gone?” Arthur questioned genuinely, much to the snickers of the knights and ladies. “I can’t function without you,” this was whispered softly to Merlin, just for Merlin.

The anger and stress dissipated from Merlin’s eyes, his shoulders slacked in resignation. Realization slowly but surely dawned on the sorcerer. Arthur was simply afraid. The first king of Camelot was worried, on the brink of tears from it if anyone looked close enough. Merlin rolled his eyes, even after all these years Arthur was still undoubtedly the same.

Without a care for the other people in the room, Merlin sat down on Arthur’s lap, hands on the other’s chest to stabilize himself. Merlin leaned in close and pressed a kiss to Arthur’s lips, cradling his jaw like it was something breakable. “Everything will be alright, Arthur. I can protect myself just fine,” Merlin reassured in a careful voice, stroking Arthur’s cheek. “You won’t even notice I’m gone.”

“I always feel empty without you, Merlin." Arthur pulled Merlin in for another kiss, this one deeper than the last. The two only pulled away for air and even then they went back for more. They couldn’t have enough of the other, constantly needing to feel the other person. A give and take only the other could provide. “What am I supposed to do if you don’t return?” Arthur asked quietly, resting his forehead on Merlin’s. “How am I supposed to live?”

“I promise to you, you’ll never have to find out. You’re stuck with me," Merlin smirked, running his fingers through Arthur’s hair. "Till death do us part, darling.”

Arthur wished he could believe Merlin’s promise. He swore on his mother’s grave that if Merlin fulfilled his promise that he’ll listen to everything Merlin has to say. He’ll never question Merlin again, never talk back to the warlock, shove his stubbornness down and never speak of it again. Arthur would have done anything for Merlin, only the man asked.

Not a month later Arthur received news in the form of a messenger. Le Lubrique had declared war on any who dared try to take the last living dragonlord from them. Merlin was theirs, they stated, the dragonlord belonged to dragon tamers. The two are vital for the continuation of dragons in the old religion. One to gain their trust, the other to keep the creatures in chains where they belong. Any and all who tried to take away their dragonlord would be faced with lethal consequences.

At that Arthur sent the messenger to be put into the stocks. Lethal consequences. Arthur will show them just how deadly he could be. Le Lubrique will pay, a month without Merlin was torture but if they dared to lay a hand on Merlin they would all burn. Gwen was absolutely right, Arthur required vengeance, he wanted them all to feel just what angering Camelot will do, what angering him will do.

And after making such a claim over Merlin’s life, Arthur will show them no mercy. Le Lubrique had declared war on Camelot and Arthur would answer tenfold.

------

It took around two weeks for Arthur to prepare for battle against a kingdom full of sorcerers. Another week was spent traveling with his soldiers over land and sea. Through it all he couldn’t help but be eaten alive by the nagging feeling that he was too late. That he would arrive only to find ash; bones if he was lucky. Day and night he was slowly being killed by the fact that he could very well be walking into his husband’s grave.

“He’s going to be okay,” Morgana reassured him one day as he leaned against the railing of their ship. They were perhaps an hour if not less from shore and Arthur hadn’t slept a wink. He could feel exhaustion mixing with the worry brewing in his mind, ready to overflow at a single inconvenience. His sword was once again at his side, the memory making everything so much worse. “Merlin will be teasing you for worrying so much if he were here.”

“But he isn’t, is he, Morgana?” Arthur said more harshly than he intended. “He could already be dead for all we know.” And it would be all Arthur’s fault, though he kept that notion to himself. By the look on Morgana’s face, she must have been thinking the same thing.

“It's not your fault, Arthur. Merlin chose to go on his own free will.”

“But I was the one who allowed it,” Arthur bit back, standing straight on his feet. “I sent him to his death.”

“You don’t know that,” Morgana crossed her arms. She should be used to Arthur’s self destructive behavior but even this was getting too much for her. “If what that messenger said was true, Merlin’s probably being pampered to death.”

That seemed to be the wrong thing to have said because Arthur’s despair did not lighten. It seemed to have gotten worse. “What if he likes it better with Le Lubrique’s court? I’m no warlock, I can’t compete with their magic!”

“Arthur, you’re overthinking this,” Morgana was done with Arthur’s antics. She was ready to gag him and throw him in the ship’s makeshift prison cell until they had properly docked. “Merlin will run right into your arms the moment he sees you. I’m willing to bet on it, just you wait and see. Merlin loves-”

At Morgana’s silence, Arthur looked over to the direction of her gaze. Their ship was making speed but Arthur suddenly wished they had stopped right where they were and sink. The sight took Arthur’s breath away, making his blood go cold. Le Lubrique was burning and it looked like it had been burning for a very long time. There was no shoreside to speak of, just endless flickering flames. Where the castle should have been standing tall like a beacon was nothing but flames, ruble, and ash.

“Merlin!” Arthur yelled even though his voice would not carry that far. “Merlin!” he called again, his heart sinking to his stomach. He wanted to drown at sea. He never wanted to reach the shore, to be lost in the ocean and never have to face what he already knew was there. The absence of what he knew should’ve been. “Merlin!” he shouted even though it was futile.

“Arthur, please!” Morgana struggled to pull him back from the side, afraid he’ll jump and swim the rest of the way himself. Or worse. “Just an hour, please. That’s all you have to wait for. You- you don’t know for sure.” Even Morgana was not so sure of her words, the picture in front of them was hard to paint as lies.

“I sent him to his death….” Arthur whimpered, “I killed him. I killed my husband.” The king sank to his knees, kneeling next to Morgana. The woman could barely hide the tears in her eyes at the sight. Everything she wanted to say, every reassurance died on her tongue. Whatever she said could very well be a lie and nothing more.

“We will make them pay, Arthur. We will make them pay for what they’ve done,” Morgana decided instead, pulling Arthur to his feet. “They won’t get away with this,” she stated sternly, much like their father when he had set his mind to something.

Less than an hour passed where the tension was so thick, one could slice through it with an unsharpened sword. All on board prepared for battle, despite the fact that the fires never stopped burning. Regardless of the fact that they might be too late to be of much good. The fighting had already begun long before they docked, a civil war where the same flag was flying on opposite sides.

“Go search for what is left, we’ll handle everything else,” Gwen informed Arthur when they stepped foot on the raging battlefield. She was dressed in chainmail armor just like everyone else, Camelot’s colors making her blend in with the searing fires. Her helmet was covering most of her face, giving her the appearance of a frightening soldier ready to take lives at a moment's notice. If Arthur was in a better mood, he would have been sorry for the folks who would come face to face with Gwen, the quick footed soldier instead of Gwen, the gentle, kind hearted high lady. At the moment he was on the verge of breaking and was ever so glad that Gwen was as cut throat as she was.

“Thank you,” Arthur told her from the bottom of his heart, “We should have listened to you from the start.”

“You followed your husband’s request, I can’t fault you for that.” She pulled Arthur in for a hug before sending him off. “Go find our king.”

Gwen didn’t have to tell Arthur twice, he was off before she finished speaking. The only thing is his mind was finding and holding Merlin. Nothing else mattered. Not the war thriving around him, swords clashing, arrows flying, Camelot’s red against the duality of Le Lubrique’s purples; nothing. The sorcerer was all that was worth living for and Arthur had a guess as to where Merlin would be.

The castle with Le Lubrique’s flag flapping against the blistering wind was as good as any place to start. Arthur climbed the hill that the palace stood on with lead in his stomach. It felt like every step he took he was merely walking into a trap. The castle should not still be in one piece, the battles around the structure should have made it no more than debris. However, it still stood on weak support.

Going against the nagging voice in the back of his head Arthur called out for his husband, “Merlin!” He walked closer to what would have been the courtyard. Around the perimeter were burning shrubbery that must have been a sight to behold at one point in time. Now there were nothing more than flares and the source of black smoke. The cobblestone center was stained with a drying red that Arthur did not want to face the source of. “Merlin!” Arthur sounded out in the courtyard.

“Arthur,” a hoarse voice groaned weakly. Arthur ran in the direction it came from, his sense of self preservation be damned. Merlin’s life could be on the line.

“Merlin, stay with me. Keep talking!”

“I-I’m over here,” Merlin hissed out helpfully, not informing Arthur where, “here” exactly was. Why did Arthur have to marry such a buffoon? Sure, no one could compare to Merlin, but at the very least he could have courted a smarter man.

“I’m coming, just stay where you are,” Arthur said hastily, rushing through the crumbling courtyard. “Don’t you dare die on me, I’ll kill you myself if you do!” he threatened, searching every nook and cranny for the warlock.

“That’s my line, you ass,” Merlin moaned in complaint, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. “Come up with your own catchphrases.”

Sometimes Arthur couldn’t believe his choice in a partner. Merlin was really making banter with him while possibly on the brink of death. He was definitely going to kill Merlin for this. “Make me, you bastard,” Arthur cursed, rounding a sharp corner that fell apart as he passed it. His breath was taken away for the second time that day when he saw Merlin on the ground.

They were in what must have been a parlor, the stained glass windows shattered on the ground as a number of the fine furniture burned to cinder. Arthur could imagine the room as something beautiful if he were to be invited over for tea. Now he just saw it as a smoking mess, something that he was glad was going up in flames. Though, without him or Merlin in it would be nice.

“There you are!” Arthur exclaimed, rushing over and kneeling on the floor next to Merlin’s frame. The sorcerer was half naked with sharp nail marks littered across his pale skin. Merlin’s neck was a raring red as if a hand had been wrapped around his throat which didn’t let up until he passed out from the lack of air. His form was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and tears, his rib cage stuck out in unpleasant angles. It looked like he hadn’t been fed in days. The sight made Arthur furious, but Le Lubrique’s court could wait. Arthur had to get Merlin to safety first.

“Took you long enough, you oaf,” Merlin hissed through his teeth, his lips chapped from dehydration. The corner of his mouth was bleeding as if he had been back handed across the face. Arthur reached out a hand to touch it, to make sure Merlin was real and not just some illusion made by a sick sorcerer. “Stop that, it already hurts to talk,” Merlin coughed, his eyes hazy.

“What happened?” Arthur couldn’t help but ask, shrugging off his cape to throw over Merlin’s bare chest. It didn’t offer much coverage but it was protection against the flying embers. As a bonus it covered the markings that made Arthur’s skin crawl.

“I arrived under the guise of an envoy, just as we had planned. Everything seemed to be going fine, but they found out I was a spy early on. It was like they could read my mind, and I don’t doubt that they have the knowledge just for the spell,” Merlin explained, pulling Arthur’s cape close, the soft fabric offering a sense of shelter. “But they didn’t seem to care that I was there under ulterior motives. They were only glad to have me, mind and body,” Merlin shivered at the thought. “Le Lubrique’s queen wanted me to father her children.”

Merlin paused to let the thought sink in. He watched Arthur for his reaction. Arthur’s face twisted in a disgusted sneer, baring his teeth at the implication. The king clenched his fists until his nails dug deep enough into his palm to drag blood. Arthur wanted to feel the pain, something to ground him farther so he didn’t march off to kill someone who might already be dead.

“Le Lubrique wanted dragons as slaves, no king would be dumb enough to go to war with a kingdom with dragons on their side; no matter its size,” Merlin went on, his eyes glowing yellow at the notion. “They needed me as a stud.”

Arthur was repulsed at the notion that Le Lubrique would even conceive of such a thing. He must have looked ready to vomit because Merlin quickly added, “Le Lubrique’s queen even tried to make herself appealing to me when I denied her advances.” Arthur could only imagine what the woman did. Sylvy’s antics immediately came to mind. “She magicked her hair blonde and made her eyes your shade of blue.”

Arthur couldn’t help but darkly chuckle at that. Of all the ways to make Merlin fall for someone, blonde hair and blue eyes weren’t it. “Did she really think looking like me would get you to bed her?”

“No,” Merlin began again with a pained yelp that he tried to hide. “What she said was what made me comply.”

“What did she say?” Arthur growled, his earlier fury seeping back into his bloodstream. “What did that harlot say?”

“She threatened your life, Arthur. Your honor, your dignity, and reign as king. Everything,” Merlin got teary eyed at the memory. “The way she took her pleasure from me was painful, but it was nothing compared to the thought of what she said she would have done to you.”

Arthur was shaking with rage, his whole body trembled with the urge to tear Le Lubrique’s queen apart, limb by limb by his own bare hands. His hand hovered over his sword subconsciously. He wanted to kill her, needed to destroy her for what she’s done. For the fear she incited into Merlin. Arthur was bloodthirsty; he hoped that Gwen was just as demanding of blood.

“I wanted to kill her.” Merlin’s quivering voice brought Arthur back to the present. “Let me kill her, Arthur,” Merlin begged his husband, his lip beginning to bleed.

“Of course,” Arthur wiped Merlin’s tears away with his thumb, his hand caressing Merlin’s cheek gently. “Anything you want, I’ll give it to you in a heartbeat.”

“Now, Arthur. I want to kill her now.” Merlin tried to sit up but the cry of pain had him falling right back to where he was. “She deserves to suffer.” His eyes lit up in a gold light, trying to magic his way upright but failed and fell down once more. The warlock’s body was in a worse state than he appeared, he shook in a cold sweat like an infection induced fever.

When Merlin began coughing fistfuls of blood at the strain Arthur was forced to act quickly. The king straddled Merlin’s legs, sitting down on his lap to keep Merlin on the ground. “Shhh, I’m here, Merlin. I’m safe, I’m alive,” Arthur barricaded Merlin with his arms. “I’ll bring you her head, I swear.”

“Let me do it, Arthur. I can kill her myself,” Merlin barked, another fit of coughs had him squeezing his eyes shut.

“I’ll bring her to you, alive. You can do anything you want with her court,” Arthur tried a different approach, tears forming in his eyes at the sight of Merlin in this state. “You can make her pay for what she’s done, make her feel the same pain. But please, Merlin,” Arthur begged, stroking Merlin’s face as tears fell on the man’s face. “Stay with me. Keep talking.”

Merlin opened his eyes at Arthur’s request, pain painting them a disorientating blue. “It hurts, Arthur. She did so, so many horrible things,” Merlin admitted in the burning parlor room. He reached out angry scarred arms to wrap around Arthur, pulling the king flush against his chest. “Everything aches, it feels like I’m being burned alive.” Merlin had Arthur in a death grip, there was barely enough room for either of them to breathe. It felt like home.

“They will pay, this I swear,” Arthur made an oath, kissing Merlin to make it true. “By the end of this day their bodies will be put on display for all to see.” He kissed down Merlin’s neck, burying Le Lubrique’s queen’s markings with his own. “Do you want her kingdom as well, Merlin? Say the word and it's yours.”

“I want you. I want her gone. I want her kingdom. I want it all,” Merlin’s mind was spinning with searing fever, screaming pain, and the constant pleasure of Arthur licking at his throat. He squeezed Arthur’s neck with his shaking arms. “Give me everything.”

In a burning parlor of a dying country with a queen and court that abandoned it, the first king of Camelot made a vow to the second king; an apology and a promise. Everything the licking fire was eating, everything destroyed by its own queen; the country, and the sea that surrounded it. The never ending farmlands, the people that survived, and the bones that would be buried by ash of its own making. The entire kingdom; dead, dying, or thriving. All of it would be Merlin’s.

All of it is Merlin’s.

“My king shall have everything.”

[natvrefairy]

Hi, I saw ur request rules and wondered if I could ask for a merlin X reader (romantic) and it's like really fluffy? Thx 😊

A/N: Of course! I'm so happy my first request is for Merlin, because both him and the entire show are just so iconic. I really hope you like this. :)

Something Meaningful (Merlin x Reader)

Requested: Yes!

Reader Pronouns: They/them

Word Count: 1,529

C/W: Uther is dead. A little bit of self-doubt on Merlin's side. Occasional rant. A little bit of stream of consciousness. (Cause I'm experimenting with that technique.) Fluff!

Context: Morgana's alive and good. Mordred and the rest of the knights are also still alive, but they're not really mentioned. Arthur and Gwen are King and Queen. Arthur's allowed magic in Camelot, and they know about and accept Merlin! And LGBTQ+ is accepted! (Cause reader is they/them, and there's no angst here. ^^)

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

When Uther died, Camelot was a bit of a mess. Not that it wasn't before; Uther's reign wasn't a particularly cheerful one. But although he wasn't the kindest person, people still loved him, and his death simply came as a shock to everyone.

Arthur took it the hardest. But honestly, that was to be expected. When most people lose their parent, they get time to grieve, but Arthur didn't have the luxury of time. Uther died, and Arthur was thrown into power.

The first few months were the worst. Not just for Arthur, but the whole castle. But with Guinevere and Merlin by his side, he got through it. And with Arthur as King, it no longer mattered what anyone thought of his relationship with Gwen, because she was now the Queen.

But with Guinevere becoming Queen, a small issue arose. The Lady Morgana no longer had a servant.

Morgana, being as lovely as she was, truly didn't care about the loss of her maidservant. She still had her friend, and enjoyed her independence. But her brother thought it necessary, so the job was given to (Y/N).

Gaius didn't appreciate losing his other helper, but he couldn't say no to the King, so that was that.

But then, Gwen also needed a servant. And once again, the job was given to (Y/N). Merlin most definitely did not approve of his best friend's drastic increase in work load.

"I always knew you were an ass, but I didn't realise you were stupid as well." Merlin told Arthur the following morning.

Arthur's new title as King didn't change Merlin's attitude towards him in the slightest.

"Merlin, you can't address me like that."

"I did before, why is it any different now? Your highness."

"I am the King."

"Doesn't change the fact that you're an ass."

(Y/N) managed to talk Merlin down, but that didn't mean he liked the idea of them having to rush around everywhere all the time. Although, at least it was only Gwen and Morgana, who were both perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.

If it was two Arthur's, that would be an entirely different story.

That was about two years ago now. Camelot has had law changes since; such as the lifted ban on magic, allowing people to freely practise their gift, and the new acceptance of anyone identifying as other than cisgender/heterosexual.

And finally, at long last, the land of Albion was united.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Having both grown up in Ealdor, Merlin and (Y/N) were always close. (Y/N) would constantly seek out Merlin and William, the three of them soon becoming best friends. When Merlin set off to Camelot, (Y/N) tagged along to look out for him, Will staying behind with his father.

Unlike Merlin, (Y/N) didn't possess any magic. But although being completely normal, they always went out of their way to try understand what their friend was going through. They never understood Uther's hatred towards magic. Even without having any themself, they absolutely adored Merlin's gift. Witnessing him in action never failed to put (Y/N) in a state of awe.

But of course, Merlin is much more than his magic. That, (Y/N) always knew, even when he didn't believe it himself. They were always there for him, and he was always there for them. That was how it always was, and how it always will be.

Which is why it was so hard for either of them to pinpoint exactly when their feelings grew. They always cared deeply for each other, but at some point, both completely unaware, those feelings blossomed until they were both completely and utterly in love.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The two friends were granted the evening off, and unbeknownst to (Y/N), Gwen and Morgana had something up their sleeve. Having long figured out the pair's mutual yet oblivious feelings, the women decided to take matters into their own hands.

This involved giving them the evening off, and directly telling Merlin to confess.

"I'm sure they feel the same way," Gwen encouraged, "I know it's hard, but try something meaningful. If you can't say how you feel out loud, do something special instead."

So here Merlin was, a nervous wreck as he lead (Y/N) outside of Camelot, to a small forest clearing. What if they didn't like it? What if they turned him down? Then it could lead to disaster and they won't want to be his friend anymore and everything they had built will go to waste.

"Merlin," (Y/N) grasps his hand, immediately gaining his attention, "whatever has you stressing out, it's okay. I'm here, and I always will be. We'll face it together."

Taking a deep breath, he had them close their eyes, before gently leading them in the right direction. Glancing around to make sure everything was in place, he tried his best to calm his nerves.

'You can do this,' he thought to himself, 'you can tell dragons what to do, and they listen. This should be easy.'

"Merlin?"

"Oh, right, sorry. You can open your eyes now."

Opening their eyes, (Y/N) gaped at the scene before them. A rug laid out on the grass, all their favourite snacks and fruit laid out in front of them. Glancing between the dinner and Merlin in a combination of joy and surprise, they struggled for words.

"You did all of this?"

"Well, I may have stolen some things from the kitchen, but... I hope you like it?"

(Y/N) laughed - one of Merlin's favourite sounds - and pulled him over to sit down.

"Thank you."

Just their smile was enough to calm Merlin's nerves, and everything melted away as they began to eat, telling stories and laughing. Everything between them seemed perfect.

That is, everything except for the unsaid feelings.

As they finished and the moon began to rise, they cleared up a bit before laying down to stargaze.

"Star-gazing was a good idea," (Y/N) said softly after a while, turning their head to face Merlin, "but I have to ask, what was this all for?"

"What? Aren't I allowed to just spend time with my best friend?" Merlin replied, a little too quickly.

"Of course, but that's not what I mean. You seemed really nervous earlier. I can tell when you want to say something, Merlin."

He turned his head away in embarrassment, so (Y/N) shifted their body to properly face him.

"Hey, look at me," they said, placing their hand on his cheek and tilting his head back towards them, "you know you can always tell me anything. We've been through so much together. Nothing will scare me away."

Merlin gazed into their eyes in silence for a moment, before speaking up, voice barely a whisper, "It's hard to say it out loud. Can I just show you?"

"Of course. Whatever's best for you."

Slowly, he moved one hand to rest on (Y/N)'s cheek, hesitating slightly as his gaze shifted between their captivating (E/C) eyes and plump lips. Finally, deciding it's either now or never, he leaned forward, tilting his head as he captured their lips in a tentative kiss. He felt them stiffen slightly, his heart racing as his mind flooded with unwanted thoughts. This was the end. They were going to shove him away and never speak to him again.

But then, the thing he expected least of all happened; they actually reciprocated the kiss.

Their hand moved to his hair, butterflies going wild in their stomach. They never expected him to feel the same way about them, and now they couldn't even think straight. The only thing they could concentrate on was the feeling of his lips on their own.

Eventually, the sweet moment came to an end, leaving each of them completely breathless, faces only inches apart. They gazed into each other's eyes, catching their breath while they both tried to process what just occurred.

Then, all at once Merlin freaked out and started a rant, desperately trying to explain himself. Apology after apology flooded out of his mouth, raving on and on about how much he loves them and how he probably ruined everything and should have just kept his feelings all to himself.

(Y/N) cut him off with a small kiss on his lips, leaving him staring at them in shock when they pulled away.

"I love you too, Merlin. I thought I was so obvious about it," she laughed softly, gently running her fingers through his hair. "I'm so lucky to have you in my life, and I'm glad you feel the same."

His shock vanished, and he gave that heartwarming smile of his as he wrapped his arms around them, pulling them close. "You have no idea how happy that makes me."

And so they stayed there like that, laying and enjoying each other's company in the comfort of their mutual feelings. They stayed there until they decided it was time to head back and face Gaius' concerned wrath on them staying out so late. But for once, it didn't bother them listening to his lecture, because their lives had just changed for the better.

[theonceandfutureking6481]

BBC's Merlin Season 1 Episode 1: The Dragon's Call Analysis

*SPOILERS- FOR THE WHOLE SHOW*

So I just re-watched episode 1 of Merlin, The Dragon's Call and I thought I'd post my thoughts here, since this is the kind of thing I always wanted after I watched Merlin for the first time. Sorry, it's quite long!!

This episode is great fun to watch but also really interesting from a thematic perspective, as it introduces all the key characters and many key themes that continue throughout the show.

Setting it up as subverting traditional telling's of the legend

The wonderful thing about Arthurian legend is how many ways you can tell it, there is very little canon, it's whole point is that it has been reinterpreted time and again to say different things, be that as it may there are traditional elements which tend to remain constant and Merlin keeps some of these but many it takes out and it sets that up here.

The introduction is like a fairytale, "the young warlock arriving at the gates of Camelot", feels very much like the introduction to a fairy tale. This is on one hand telling us that this is a story we know like any fairytale, but the very fact that Merlin is young shows us that it is going to be different.

On the side, I love the line "A boy that will in time father a legend", because there's just this wonderful gap between the audience and the characters (as there is throughout the whole story), we know that Merlin will do great things, we know that Arthur will too, they are stories we have heard (tying again into that fairytale esque introduction), and its wonderful to know that, to see Merlin and know that he is destined for greatness.

Introduction to characters:

I haven't got a specific section for Merlin here, but its sort of strewn throughout everyone elses.

Morgana:

If you know Arthurian legend you will know that in many (even most) versions of the story Morgana is a villain, so her introduction here is both scary and fascinating. She is so clearly not a villain, and you wonder (if Merlin stays true to this element) what is going to change and happen that she will become one. I knew from the start that Morgana would become a villain (I had heard a lot of spoilers), so it was especially tragic and interesting to watch her character arc because I always knew. Interestingly she is immediately set up in alliance with Merlin, even though they barely interact. We know that he is a sorcerer, and her first lines are oppositional to Uther's stance on magic, she out of everyone in Camelot seems the most likely ally. This is the start of what becomes parallel character arcs, Morgana and Merlin are both fighting for magic to become legal but they end up going about it in different ways, and one is the main villain, the other our hero. They are the same and yet opposites, and the setting up starts from here.

Arthur:

Arthur appears quite simply to be a spoiled bully, not exactly what we expect from the King Arthur we know and love. The position he starts in though is important for a key element of the story which is Merlin and Arthur creating a better world in many ways directly oppositional to Uther's teachings, based on love, kindness, willingness to put others first and respect for others. Uther's world is one where strength is rewarded and he is (in a more adult way than Arthur) a bully, as we learn later he is someone who takes his anger and fear out on others, who takes advantage of his position to hurt people even those he loves. Uther can be a good king, but not when it asks him to make sacrifices of his worldview or things that really matter to him. Uther teaches Arthur some important things but there are many things Arthur has to unlearn, and these bullish tendencies, and lack of respect for others inherent in them are one of them. We do however see Arthur's inherent nobility and goodness in this episode. When he lets Merlin go because even though he's an idiot "he's a brave one", it shows us how Arthur respects what people do rather than who they are. Uther wouldn't of let Merlin go (though to be fair Uther probably wouldn't of picked a fight with a peasant), he would have thought that the law had to be upheld no matter the individual circumstance. Merlin attacked the prince that is definitely illegal but Arthur respects his courage (even though it came at the cost of his humiliation), and there is something different to Uther in that, even good.

Merlin and Arthur:

This episode aside from setting the tone for the more hilarious aspects of Merlin and Arthur's relationship establishes some other interesting things about what they are going to be to each other in this version of the story. Traditionally Merlin is Arthur's teacher, often tutoring him as a child, obviously this doesn't happen here but they retain that element of teaching here. Kilgharrah literally says that maybe it is Merlin's job to change the fact that Arthur's an idiot. Merlin challenges Arthur from the start, willing to criticise him and treat him as an equal (which Arthur actually appears to love), and we see perhaps what Merlin is going to teach Arthur and the more noble elements of Arthur's character that Merlin's going to bring. It is also only within the context of his interactions with Merlin that we see Arthur's best side (at least in this episode). Merlin shows Arthur that he has to treat all people with respect, Arthur recognises that Merlin is brave and full of qualities that Arthur himself admires. When Merlin saves Arthur's life you can see Arthur re-evaluating everything he thought he knew about him, there is a respect there.

Arthur's Mum Igraine

She's not a big part of this episode but she was mentioned and I think its interesting how she's represented. In many ways her representation is highly simplistic, she falls to the fate of many fairy tale mothers in being dead before the story begins, she's a plot device. She is presented (not outright but implied) with all the stereotypical virtues mothers are ascribed with, the woman who's trying to kill Arthur this episode talks to Uther about how hard it must have been for Arthur to grow up without a mother. It's not a huge scene but its an insight into Arthur's character, he was brought up with all the hate and bullishness of Uther without a mother who could have taught him love and kindness. As we later learn Igraine's death triggered the great purge, her loss very much symbolises the loss of love within the kingdom, both in what Arthur's like at the beginning as well as what Camelot has become under Uther's leadership.

Gwen (and Merlin):

She is wonderful and sweet and interestingly (especially for an audience that knows Arthur is going to marry her one day) a servant. It is interesting that the two people who become in the show (and we know as an audience will one day be) closest to Arthur are servants.

The thing about Arthurian legend is that typically its very much set within a context of Medieval feudalism, which means stringent social barriers. The code of equality inherent in the idea of a Round Table is equality among nobles, the code of chivalry is a code of honour for knights not for ordinary people. It's a reflection of the social realities of the era that inspires much of the aesthetic of Arthurian legend as well as the era in which most key tenants of the legend were formed. In making Merlin (Arthur's teacher & (in this show) best friend/soulmate) and Guinevere (Arthur's wife) servants, this show is changing this idea for one more reflective of our own times. It is about absolute equality of all people, and as I've said already the inherent value that every single human being has and the individual capabilities for nobility and goodness and everything the Knights Code admires. It thus sets the tone for what Arthur is going to represent, not just the ideal of knighthood and courage but the ideal of kingship for all people and the ideal of the world that matters to every person.

The self reproducing nature of love and hate

This is an idea which I've always viewed as the main theme of Merlin, the idea that hate begets itself, as does love. This episode is a perfect encapsulation of that theme which recurs again and again. Uther kills a man who is innocent (in the sense that he didn't actually hurt anybody) and the man's mother seeks vengeance and in doing so kills more innocent people because she hates Uther enough that she doesn't care who else she hurts to get at him. This happens again and again in the show, but what this show does that I love is turn it into a main theme by depicting the reverse. Arthur and Merlin are great because they act against this world of Uther's creation, they act with love and compassion and respect for all people, the ends rarely justify the means and most importantly, especially when their actions seem morally grey, they are always motivated by their love for others (not fear or hate- unlike Uther and any number of villains). Uther is the main villain of the show precisely because it is his actions that create every other villain they encounter, Morgana sums it up nicely and somewhat ominously (given what side she ends up on)- "the more brutal you are the more enemies you'll create". Uther views that brutality as strength, but it is the weakness at the heart of his kingdom, it is what makes Camelot a worse place it is what puts everyone he cares about in danger. Essentially the plot of the first episode sets up the cycle of violence that Uther started, though it doesn't set up Merlin and Arthur as breaking it it does set up the idea of equality and respect for all people that Arthur will learn and is essentially opposed to the brutality and cruelty and hate represented by Uther.

Fun non-analysis things

It mightn't seem like it but I do actually watch Merlin for reasons other than copious analysis of themes. It is a highly enjoyable show with characters and relationships (Merthur but also just generally the wonderful representation of friendship and loyalty) I love, and its actually really funny.

Gwen saying "Who'd want to marry Arthur" is peak comedy because we all know, well you.

The weird set up in Gaius' first scene as him being bumbling and slightly insane (in the mad wise old man sort of way), there is literally no carry through, he's not even like this in the rest of the episode, but its hilarious so who cares.

Merlin and Arthur's whole exchange is the funniest thing and Arthur had every insult coming. Also this is exactly how you set up enemies to lovers.

All the writers names begin with J? It's just something I notice every time the intro credits roll and it's just funny (Julian Murphy, Johnny Capps, Jake Michie and Julian Jones)- also two Julian's, I mean what are the chances?

[mca-attack21]

The Beginning of Something

This imagine is based super loosely off of Season 5, Episode 8. It can be read as a stand alone, but will definitely be continued with at least five more parts as I rewrite the ending of the show. That being said, get ready for the rollercoaster of emotions that is Merlin. Also, you can find more of my writing: Here.

Tensions had been high with Arthur as he was struggling with a decision. He had come to find out that another ruler, Sarrum, had similar aims when it came to Morgana. As much as he hated it, he knew that there could never truly be peace in Camelot, or even in Albion for that matter until she was stopped. Sarrum was known for his boundless cruelty and double-crossing nature, but Arthur was becoming desperate and you know what they say about desparate times...

As Arthur was working through this troubling decision, he took it out on the one person unlucky enough to almost always be at his side. So when Gaius told Merlin that he needed him to go get some herbs and plants, Merlin was out the door glad for an excuse to escape the castle before he killed Arthur himself and ended his destiny once and for all. He understood that Arthur was under a lot of pressure, but he didn’t have to be such a clotpole about it.

Merlin was out looking for the last of Gaius’ herbs when a young dark-haired boy all but ran into him. 

“Woah, who are you? And what are you doing out here by yourself?”

“My name is Daegal. I have been sent by the druids to find you, my sister is dying,” the boy spoke showing Merlin his mark. 

“How did you know where to find me?” 

“I could sense your presence.”

“Where is your sister?” Merlin asked.

“She is at camp just shy of the Valley of the Fallen Kings. Please, you have to hurry, she does not stand to survive past the night.”

“What exactly is wrong with her?”

“She has a terrible fever and it is something beyond our magic. Please, Merlin, you are our only hope.”

Merlin was conflicted as he knew that this was risky. He also knew that Arthur would need him by his side in order to get through the meeting with Sarrum the following day. But he couldn’t stand by and let an innocent girl die when there was a possibility that he could help. 

“We need to leave at once, I need to be back in Camelot by nightfall,” Merlin spoke. 

“Of course, thank you.”

“I can’t make any promises to save your sister, but I will do everything in my power. The druids have helped me before, they are a welcomed ally,” Merlin replied as he packed up his belongings.

The two of them walked on, spending the rest of the morning and the better part of the afternoon making their way to the place where Daegal said the druids were camped. It was as they neared the camp that Merlin heard bandits approaching and reached out to Daegal with his mind to warn him. The boy carried on as if he hadn’t heard Merlin and Merlin was forced to all but tackled him so that they were not found out.

“Did you not hear me?” Merlin asked.

“No?” Daegel replied looking at Merlin as if he were crazy, “Come on, it isn’t much further.”

Merlin brushed off an uneasy feeling that was staring to form and followed Daegel. They reached the clearing, and Merlin tossed his bag down before turning back. “There is no one here,” he stated the obvious.

Daegel opened his mouth as if to say something but could not find words. He was beginning to wonder what his choice in bringing Merlin here would mean.

“Why have you brought me here? What is this?” Merlin interrogated sternly.

“I can explain,” the boy said fearfully.

“You are not even a druid,” Merlin realized lifting up Daegel’s sleeve to confirm. 

“She told me to bring you here,” Daegel tried to explain. 

Before Merlin could confirm that the ‘she’ Daegel mentioned was indeed Morgana he was thrown back and knocked unconscious. 

“Why are you doing this?” Daegel asked. 

“Because, Merlin has meddled in my plans one too many times. I only wish I could see his face as Arthur meets his demise at my hand,” Morgana revealed as she poured a dark liquid down his throat and pushed him over the ledge. 

“Are you really going to kill the king?” 

“Bite your tongue. You have done your part here and you would be wise to forget it. Here is the antidote your sister requires, now get lost.”

And with that Morgana left to set the rest of her plan in action. Daegel took one last look at Merlin before leaving to return to his family. 

Back in Camelot:

“Gaius, you said Merlin would be back by lunch and now it is past dinner. Where is he?” Arthur asked clearly frustrated.

“I truly do not know Sire, but I am beginning to become worried.”

“Where did you send him?” 

“I sent him out just beyond the creek. It should have taken him 4 hours at the most there and back,” Gaius explained worry evident on his face.

Picking up on this, Arthur’s expression softened, “I am sure that he is fine Gaius, probably just taking advantage of the break from me. If he does not turn up tomorrow I will send out a search party for him.” 

“I hope you’re right,” Gaius said as Arthur took his leave. 

Meanwhile with Merlin:

The first time he regained consciousness, Merlin struggled to breathe through the pain he was in. He attempted to use his magic to try to heal himself, but he was too weak. The exertion proved too much for him and everything around him faded to nothing.

The next time he awoke, he was both disoriented and confused. He had clearly been found by someone as a cool rag now rested on his brow and his wounds had been treated. He had been laid near a fire, food and water were both in his reach.

He peered around for any indication of who had helped him, and realized that he recognized where he was. He had been brought back towards Camelot. Before he could deduce anything else he heard someone approaching. He forced himself to sit up, which was a task in itself. He then try to mentally prepare for whatever was coming.

But instead of bandits, Morgana’s men, dangerous creatures, or anything else that could be considered threatening, it was just you. Merlin was surprised to say the least. Not that he had really thought about it, but the idea of someone who appeared around his age who had helped him... as he looked at you, he felt safe and connected to you in some way. It was as if he had known you his entire life, and he didn’t even know your name.

“Ah, take it easy, I mean you no harm. I come baring fish,” you smiled at him.

“Are you the one who did all of this?” he asked gesturing to his bandages and the water/food.

“I am, usually you would’ve been healed by now, but the poison that Morgana used in combination with her magic was a force to be reckoned with.”

“Who are you?”

“A friend. Some know me by Phúlax, but you can call me Y/n,” you said before turning away to use your magic to cook the fish and offering it to him. 

“You have magic?” Merlin asked in awe.

“Yes, I was born with it,” you answered offering him one of the fish, “You need to eat, and then rest, you have been unconscious for over a day and we are still about an hour from the castle. Morgana and the queen intend to kill the King tomorrow and bring a great war to Camelot.”

“How do you know that?” Merlin asked.

“I know a lot of things Merlin. I promise I will answer all of your questions in time, but for now I just need you to trust me,” you answered.

“I guess I don’t really have a choice,” he joked.

“You do, Merlin, you always have a choice,” you spoke voice turned serious for a moment before you snapped out of it, “I am sorry, I am just tired, you aren’t the easiest person to keep alive,” you replied light-heartedly.

“If you think I’m bad you should try being the manservant of the king,” Merlin joked which caused you to laugh.

“Is he really that bad?”

“He can be a prat at times,” Merlin paused, “But at the end of the day, he is one of the best men I have ever met. He is fiercely loyal, believes in equality and justice, valor and honor. Camelot is lucky to have him. And it is an honor to serve him,” Merlin reflects.

“He is lucky to have such a loyal friend,” you add before taking his plate from him, “Get some rest.”

“Y/n,” he called as you began to walk away.

“Yes, Merlin?”

“Thank you.”

“Your welcome,” you smiled, turning your back once again. 

You cleared away everything and packed up your bags before walking over and covering Merlin with a blanket. You layed across from him and just watched as he slept peacefully. He had been so close to death, and to see him now you wouldn’t even know it. You were glad that he was alright. Eventually, you too drifted off to sleep.

Back in Camelot:

“I’m sorry to bother you Sire, but I wanted to inform you that Merlin has still not returned. I fear something terrible may have happened,” Gaius spoke after having been let in to Arthur’s chambers.

“I will send out a search party,” Arthur spoke growing concerned about his friend.

“What is this?” Gwen asked walking over.

“Merlin still has not returned, so I am sending some of the knights out to search for him,” Arthur explained.

“Oh dear, I knew I should’ve said something. Arthur I feel terrible, but he made me promise not to tell anyone. I know where Merlin is,” she returned.

“Where?” Gaius asked.

“He has gone to visit someone. He isn’t in any danger. He’s just seeing a girl,” Gwen explained.

“Merlin?” Arthur laughed in suprise.

“There isn’t any reason to worry, I promise,” Gwen smiled.

“Except for the poor girl,” Arthur joked.

“Thank you your highness, you’ve put a worried mind at rest,” Gaius bowed before exiting the chambers.

“Now then, it is time to begin preparing for the signing ceremony,” Arthur said relieved.

Meanwhile with Merlin:

“Merlin,” you spoke softly as you shook him slightly.

“Hmmm?”

“It is time to get up, we must head for Camelot,” you reminded. 

He groaned before sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Here, have some breakfast. I’m going to refill the water canisters and then we can be on our way,” you smiled handing him an apple and some bread. 

When you returned you were pleasantly surprised to see that Merlin was packed and on his feet ready to go. The two of you started on the path in a comfortable silence before Merlin’s curiosity got the better of him. 

“Tell me about yourself,” he suggested.

“Okay, what do you want to know?”

“Everything. I mean where are you from? Why are you here? How did you discover you had magic?” 

“Slow down Merlin,” you laugh, “I was born in camelot. When I was very young my mother was discovered healing a child who was meant to die. The king found out and…” your sentance fell as you thought back. 

“I’m so sorry,” Merlin said genuinely.

You took a deep breath and continued, “My father quickly snuck me out and to a small village just outside of Camelot. We lived there, I was able to practice magic in secret. Everything was going fine until Morgana showed up searching for me. I had never even heard of her, but there she was calling me by a name that a friend of mine who was a Druid used,” you paused again.

“I was going to turn myself over to her in hopes that she would spare the others, but before I could I was knocked unconscious. I woke up in the woods with the survivors and discovered that my father had not made it. I left them partially in hopes that Morgana would not strike again, and partially in shame that I did not stand up for them. I decided to head back to the only other home I have known, where I will search for a job and try to create some semblance of a life. On my way, I discovered you,” you explained a few tears betraying you.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Merlin spoke with certainty, “Morgana would’ve tortured you or killed you.”

“Still, I should’ve done something. When you have powers like ours, it is our responsibility to help those who can’t help themselves.”

“How did you know that I had magic?” Merlin asked.

“I can sense it, it flows through every fiber of your being. You have this resonance of power. It’s like we are connected.”

“I have never met anyone like you,” Merlin said as he smiled in amazement. 

“You barely even know me,” you reply turning away from his face.

“I know that you are kind, and brave, and good,” he thinks for a moment before adding, “and beautiful.”

You can’t help but blush, “Thank you, Merlin.”

“What about you, is there anything that you want to know about me?” he asked.

The two of you continued to talk until you reached the courtyard. There were moments filled with laughter and moments of true sincerity. It was like you were old friends merely catching up. Like both of you were drawn together somehow.

As you entered the castle, you were both on high alert not knowing exactly what to expect. Merlin searched for Arthur before discovering that a door that was meant to be locked was left open. Having a gut feeling, he lead you up the staircase. There was a man with a crossbow who aimed for Arthur. He immediately noticed you and shot at Merlin who was slow to react. You shifted the arrow using magic. The man seemingly unphased threw knives at you instead. You tried to use your magic but it was to no avail. 

You barely managed to pull Merlin out of the way in time. Taking advantage of your brief distracted state, the man reloaded the crossbow and aimed for Arthur once again. Merlin used his magic to jar the man and knock him out. The shot meant for Arthur instead hit Sarrum.

“Leon, Gwaine,” Arthur ordered them to check out the source of the arrow. 

“We did it,” Merlin turned to you smiling. But as quickly as it had graced his face, the smile fell. For you were still on the ground with one of the knives in your stomach. “Y/n, just hold on, I can fix this.”

“It is one of Morgana’s, no magic can be used against it.”

“Well then, we will just have to fix it the old fashioned way,”  he smirked before leaving over the balcony. 

“Gaius, I need you to meet me in the infirmary at once it’s urgent,” he yelled.

“Merlin?” Arthur questioned quick to follow Gaius out of the door.

Merlin then picked you up bridal style and carried you back to Gaius’ chambers. 

“I’m glad I met you,” you whispered already feeling much of the strength leaving your body.

“Well, there is a lot more to see, so just hold on,” Merlin said.

Merlin ran into Gwaine and Leon at the bottom of the stairs but he didn’t stop even as they were calling after him. Once inside, he swiftly used his magic to clear off the table and laid you on it. Just then Gaius and Arthur came rushing in. 

“What happened?” “Who is that?” Gaius and Arthur asked at the same time.

“Her name is Y/n and you have to help her Gaius,” Merlin said voice full of emotion.

“Of course,” the physician said starting immediately to work. 

“Is there anything that I can do?” Merlin asked. Gaius gave him a list of instructions and he completed each one quickly and without question. Arthur just stood and watched not knowing how to react. It wasn’t long before they had done everything that they could and it was just a matter of time. 

Upon reaching this point, Arthur calmly asked for an explanation of what had happened.

“I went out to get herbs and before I could do anything else, I was trapped by Morgana. She had left me for dead, but then Y/n found me. She took care of me and brought me back here. I knew that Morgana was planning something, so we rushed here and found the overlook door open. We went up and found a man who was aiming a crossbow at you. He threw a knife at me and she pushed me out of the way. I was then able to charge him, but the shot still went off,” Merlin explained. 

“So it seems that she has saved your life twice and now mine, when she wakes she will be rewarded,” Arthur responded impressed, “I must get back to the proceedings, please move her into the guest chambers and keep me appraised of her condition. Merlin, I trust that you will stay with her and see to her needs,” Arthur said sending him a knowing look.

“Of course Arthur,” Merlin replied. 

“Oh, and Merlin,” Arthur started.

“Yes, Arthur?” 

“I am truly glad that you are back in one piece,” he finished, pulling the door closed behind him.

“As am I,” Gaius added pulling the young warlock into a hug. 

As they pulled away, Merlin was quick to carry you up into one of the fancy guest bedrooms. He laid you down and covered you with the blankets. Guias entered behind him.

“Did anything else happen while you were gone that you couldn’t speak so freely about in front of Arthur?”

Merlin glanced into the hallway before using his magic to close the door earning a glare from Gaius. 

“She’s like me, she was born with magic,” he eyes lite up. 

“Really?” Gaius asked.

“Yeah, the druids call her Phúlax. I can’t explain it Gaius, but I have never felt this connected to someone before. 

“She is Phúlax?” Gauis asked with reverence. 

“Yes, why? Does that name mean something to you?” 

“You know how your destiny has been foretold for many generations?” Gaius asked and Merlin nodded.

“Phúlax means protector. Though she is known by many names. Some that may stand out to you are, the Servant’s Guardian, Arthur’s Chance, Protector of Emrys, or Rewriter of Destiny. It is believed that she would arrive at the beginning of the end, and that she would be at your side to turn the end into the beginning,”  Gaius explained. 

“What does that mean? And why have I never heard of her?” 

“No one truly knows what the prophecy means. Just that she is an important ally in your story. And I would assume that those who know of her are protective of her identity for the same reason they are protective of yours. Because if Morgana found her, Albion would fall.” 

Merlin had more questions, the most important one being, “So she is going to be okay?”

“Her wound was not fatal, due to the nature of the weapon, she simply has to heal at a normal rate. That being said, she should wake up by morning,” Gaius answered before getting up to leave the room. 

Gwaine entered as he exited, “Merlin, it’s good to see you. I’ve been searching the taverns for you in your absence,” he winked.

“Good to see you too, Gwaine,” he laughed.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing after earlier,” Gwaine said taking a seat beside his friend.

“Well, in the past three days I have almost been killed twice, so you know just another day in Camelot,” Merlin tried to joke.

“Are you alright?” Gwaine asked seriously. 

“I will be fine,” Merlin promised. 

“And who is this beautiful lady?” Gwaine asked trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m afraid she is off-limits,” Arthur spoke from the doorway carrying a plate of food. 

“What? Why?” Gwaine asked.

“Because Merlin here has dibs,” Arthur grinned. 

“I...We….She is…..I mean…” Merlin struggled.

“Oh, look at him he is getting red as a tomato,” Arthur said bursting into laughter.

“Our little Merlin has a crush,” Gwaine grinned, “If you need any advice,” he winked at Merlin before getting up and seeing himself out. 

Arthur took his place at Merlin’s side. 

“Did you really have to do that? I’m not going to hear the end of this,” Merlin rolled his eyes at Arthur. 

“Consider it payback for all of the times you teased me about Guinevere. Besides, I think that it’s a good thing,” he decided.

“I brought you this, along with some news,” Arthur said handing Merlin the plate of food. 

“What’s the news?” 

“Should she want it, I have decided to offer Y/n a position as Guinevere’s lady in waiting. I figure that she has shown her loyalty and you clearly trust her. I trust your judgment. And, this will give you an excuse to see her in the castle,” Arthur explained.

“Really? That’s incredible. I can’t wait to tell her. And to introduce the two of you.” 

“Just remember this when it comes time to chose a best man,” Arthur joked. The two of them continued to talk for a while before Arthur decided it was best that he return to the knights as they were preparing for a trip. 

Merlin was trying to work through what Gaius had said, and how he felt. It was silly to think that he could love someone that he had only just met. But there was no other word for it. The thought of working with you, getting to know you better, spending time with you, it was all exciting for Merlin. Especially having another person that he could talk about magic with, someone who truly understood him. 

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even register the fact that you were awake.

“Merlin?” you tried to sit up, but the pain that rippled through you decided otherwise.

“Hey there, take it easy. It’s okay, you’re safe,” he smiled taking your hand without even thinking, “Do you need anything? Water? Food? I can go get Gaius if you’d like?”

“I’ll be fine Merlin, I’m glad you and Arthur are safe,” you smiled.

“Speaking of Arthur, I’ve got some news for you,” he beamed, “The King was so thankful that you saved his life that he has decided to give you the highest honor he can bestow.”

“Oh? And what is that?”

“He has graciously decided to make you his wife’s servant,” Merlin replied rolling his eyes. 

“That’s brilliant! It solves my problem of finding a place to stay and finding a job in one fell swoop,” you smile. 

“There is one problem though,” Merlin said seriously.

“What is it?”

“We will definitely be seeing a lot of each other,” he grinned.

“You had me worried,” you said as you smacked his arm.

“I am going to go tell Gaius and Arthur that you are awake,” he decided. 

You watched as he left, you felt so relieved that things were falling into place. You were happy to meet Gaius and the King, who made not-so-subtle jokes about Merlin’s affections for you. Merlin looked like he was about to kill him, which made you laugh all the more. You already felt at home here. You couldn’t wait to see what the future held for you in Camelot. This was truly the beginning of something special. 

[bruh--wtf]

A Lovely Secret

Masterlist

Part 4

Previous Next

Merlin x Reader

Warning: Parental abuse. Poison.

Merlin followed close behind the group as Arthur carried you off to Gaius' chambers.

"How could someone poison her?" Gwen asks, clearly nervous. The two of them were forced to stay back.

"What happened?" Y/N's servant asks as she catches up to them. Gwen turns to her.

"Y/N fell. Which pitcher did you take?" Gwen asks hurriedly. Lila stutters for a moment. "Come on, Lila!" The girl jumps a bit and stutters out a response.

"The one next to yours!" She says. Gwen's eyes widen and she hurriedly catches up to the group in Gaius' chamber.

"Morgana!" She exclaims. Morgana and Arthur turn to her.

"What is it Gwen?"

"The pitcher that served Y/N was meant for Arthur," the girl announces. Gaius turns to them.

"Bring it to me." Lila comes in hesitantly and hands the many the pitcher. He smells it and puts a pit of the liquid in a clear glass. He examines it.

"It's a slow acting poison," he says. Arthur marches up to him.

"Well, how do we stop it? What's the cure?" He asks. Gaius swallows and straightens up. I need water, a few herbs in the woods, I'll make a list. And space," he says. Uther nods and him and Y/N's father walk out. Along with Lila.

"I'll go fetch water," Gwen says.

"Take Morgana with you, the person who brought the poison may still be here," Gaius says making up and excuse. The girls nod and hurry out.

"I need Merlin's help, Arthur would you find the girls and collect these herbs?" Gaius asks handing him a list. Arthur glances at Y/N, and then Merlin. Then he takes the list and hurries out. Gaius shuts the door behind him and walks up beside Y/N.

"What did you send them to get?" Merlin asks.

"Random healing herbs," Gaius says. Merlin watches him in confusion.

"What? But, Y/N-"

"I know! The only cure to a magical poison is magic, Merlin," he points out. Merlin watches him.

"You want me to do magic? To heal someone? I don't know if I can do that," he says. Gaius takes his shoulders.

"You have to! Y/N doesn't have more than a day!" He says. Merlin looks at Y/N with wide eyes.

"What do I do?" He asks. Gaius starts giving detailed instructions and begins making a mixture of some of the things he has. It was hours before your three friends returned. Gwen placed the water bucket down.

"She's shivering!" Gwen says. Gaius' blanket already covered you. You shifter slightly at the sudden noise in the partially quiet room.

"Is she waking up?" Morgana asks. Gaius shakes his head.

"Sadly not. Please, it's best if there aren't many people in here. I will summon you all as soon as she is awake," he says.

The three reluctantly leave. Gaius continues making his mixture and Merlin sits beside Y/N. He pushed your hair out of your face, as it stuck there from the sweat.

Her head shifts slightly, leaning into his touch, turning towards him. He couldn't help the small smile that came over him. He wanted you to wake up so he could talk to you more. Just as the two of you had earlier that evening. Perhaps even ending with a similar gesture as you had given him.

"Merlin!" Gaius called. The yound sorcerer hopped up and rushed to read the spell Gaius pointed out to him. Once it was done, and the liquid Gaius had been working on for hours had changed colors Gaius rushed over.

"Open her mouth," he tells the boy. Without hesitation, he does as instructed, pulling the girl's now chapped, dry lips apart enough for Gaius to poor the liquid down her throat. Only a few drops slipped by her, what he called perfect, lips.

Merlin glanced over at the door and noticed movement. He rushed over and found Y/N's servant standing there, smirking.

"He knew of you, Emrys. He told me you would be able to preform the spell." Merlin stared at the girl who looked no older than fifteen. "It did jot matter which of the three received the poison. You were to heal them no matter what."

"Who sent you to do this?" He asks. The girl had been working for Y/N about as long as Merlin had been working for Arthur.

"She'll awake soon. And further tests will soon come your way, Emrys. Be ready for them."

With a sinister smirk she turns and leaves. Merlin was about to go after her when Gaius called him in.

He hurries to Y/N's side. Gaius stands up.

"I'll summon for the others," he says. Merlin sits down as he walks out.

You turn your head and smile weakly at the boy. "Hello, Merlin," you say. He laughs a little, clearly happy.

"I'm happy you're awake. You scared everyone," he informs you. Your smile only widens, and you use your small amount of strength to reach for the boy's hand. He looks down at it for a moment before meeting your eyes again, and holds you hand as if it is the most delicate thing in the world.

"Science didn't heal me, Merlin," you say. He looks a bit nervous. "I don't know if it was you, or Gaius. But... I know it wasn't science."

He stares at you in bewilderment.

"H-How?" He asks.

"Because, I know how to spot magic, Merlin. And I happen to know what it looks like first hand." He sighs.

"Are you mad?" You shake you head instantly.

"No, of course not. Magic is mot evil. It depends on how the person wielding it uses it." He smiles at you, and sighs in relief.

"So..."

"I won't tell anyone, Merlin. I've mastered the art of keeping secrets." His smile widens, which causes you to smile. The boy was simply adorable. And you didn't know if you would ever get enough of him.

[hiimsociallyawkward]

a servant of two masters

hi friends welcome back to me aimlessly ranting about merlin. up today we have 4.06 and this episode. wow. literally just the title gives me everything i need and i'm absolutley here for the chaos that will ensue. hi bestie @lady-ofmagic-andstars

i love them in their capes

i want a cloak

dude the 'oh it's not gonna happen' and then it happens trope is so dumb but i laugh every time

notice how the knights ripped off their capes

dude people are falling off of horses and out

MERLIN

ok ok but how is he injured. ik this is rated for kids but i really dk how badly merlin is injured. it looks like just his shoulder but he shouldn't be almost dying like his yk?

:,) arthru making jokes

ok but i love arthur taking care of merlin

alskdjflsadk them trying to make jokes to make each other feel better :,)

stop arthur. stop telling the truth merlin's not dying here 😭

bestie vibes only deadass

HAHA

a s s

side note, the site i get my screenshots from- this picture has 61 views while others average maybe like 10-15?? perverts HAHA just kidding

sok i'm actually really curious as to what merlin's injury is

alsdjf;lasdfjsaldfjsaldf merlin making the rocks fall

idk if it's jut the angling but i felt like the enemies were way too close for merlin to create an entire rock barrier. i don't have any screen shot evidence but so you're just going to have to take my word for it

ok but like who even are these men. they were working for morgana trying to capture arthur?

and what's morgana going to do once she has arthur? kill him and take his place on the throne? remember how well that turned out last time she tried that? no one wanted her. idk idk morgana is just confusing as to what she wants

pls die agravaine

haha strangely fond of the boy? there's nothing strange about it

ok i laughed but i also felt bad when morgana splashed merlin awake and flailed around like a fish

dude merlin is so snarky here and i'm HERE for it

ok i like the knights being competent. thank you thank you

and now they're riding back into camelot with their capes on? you're telling me they traced back their steps to find their capes, dusted them off to make sure that they weren't too dirty and didn't have any leaves or branches still sticking to it before riding back to camelot? iconic

poor gaius. ok he's the worst but he does think of merlin as his son and this makes me sad

ok i have a dumb question. do you think merlin understands whenever other magic users are casting spells? ok i feel like this is a dumb question now. but like, is magic a language? are all incantations in a different language, so when other person who knows magic is watching you- they know what you're trying to do and such? i feel like "of course they'd know" but i'm basing that assumption on hp where everyone knows that alohomora is alohomora and where everyone knows that lumos is lumos. but what about here? does merlin know what she's incanting? can he slightly understand it even if he's never seen/done it before? is magic a language like latin, and even if you aren't completely fluent, you and parse together things and make an assumptions?

arthur is just so sad here

i just, i have to have these here

yes bby figure out that we have a traitor

gaius is not slick in the slightest. yes. look at the traitor king

wow morgana being able to bond with the snake? i wonder how

ok question, does the fomorroh have some sort of loyalty to whoever calls them?

✨kill arthur pendragon✨

ok that snake going in his neck is actually scary

pretty castle counter: 5

btw this is actually my zoom background sometimes. it depends from call to call but it changes between this pretty castle and peeta mellark

G E O R G E

ok i've seen all the tumblr posts but it doesn't get less funny. the 'merlin's missing and we can't find him so we're going to replace him with another manservent dressed EXACTLY like merlin so arthur feels better' makes me chuckle every time

i would like to have that for breakfast

i like the loyalty arthur thank you. i love the loyalty pls. i love that they're friends. like, i love the romance but i love just people being friends too

ok this whole scene. arthur wanting to look for merlin because he has to at least try, gwen just wanting arthur to be careful and to come back to her, gwaine being buds. i love all the friendships in this and just yes thank you

ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok i'm not at the hug scene yet but i know it's coming and i'm beyond excited

ok this sound track is so cute.

saldkfj;asldkfjasldkfsd

matching icons for you and your best friends

deadass if someone wants to change their tumblr icons so we can match hmu bc i'm 100% down with that

another pretty castle scene

SASSY MERLIN PLS

ok ik this is dumb to comment on because i feel like it's not tremendously hard to execute but i love the differences that colin made in regular merlin and fomorroh merlin. it's the best

they say it later in the episode but i find it hilarious how bad of an assassin merlin is

dude pls you're pouring poison in front of EVERYONE else?

BOG MAN. ok guys i'm calling you guys bog mans now.

ASLDJFALSDFJS THE JEALOUSY SCENE

i am cringey but laughing at the same time you don't understand why am i this childish

ok but arthur is being so sweet right here. i feel like he's not trying to be showy in front of gwen, i feel like he wants merlin to rest and that's so sweet. he's so patient right here and i love him

i miss the gwen and merlin friendship actually

dude merlin is roasting gaius so hard today

leon geeking out over weapons is so cute. omg he's such a tiny nerd i love him

laskjflasdfj THIS SCENE. this makes up for the stew jokes that i may or may not still be mad about

i love that the knights LITERALLY turn a blind eye it's actually hilarious

LOOK AT MERLIN BEING COMPETENT?? HE'S SO SMART WITH THE ARROW RIGGING THING

it's literally treason leon pls and you're laughing you're the best 😭😭

i wish we had a pervical back story arc

ok i think it's dumb that i laughed when merlin ducked but i stand by that

ok why do i feel bad for arthur a little. he's talking abt some semi-deep stuff. not deep deep but like, he's trying to ask for advice from his friend, his close advisor. he would've never talked to merlin like this is season 1-2 but here he is, talking about trust. and MERLIN is trying to MURDER HIM. yes. i admit it's a little funny when i'm just watching merlin trip over things and such, but when i listen to arthur talking i feel slightly sad

literallly. merlin's passed out on the floor and arthur doesn't even think anything is wrong

gwen's face when she knocked merlin out is so cute

oop. why is arthur standing in agravaine's door way like an absolute robot

cyes arthur. figure him out

i hate agravaine. i just want arthur to be happy. he's only trusting agravaine because agravaine is family.

stfu agravaine 'you're all that's left of my dear sister' SHUT THE FRONT DOOR

ok there's a repeat of the castle from earlier but i'll spare you

pls this bath scene is so awkward. tt not being able to trust anyone anymore and we're laughing at merlin but arthur's talking so sad and deep

pls this bath scene is so awkward. that's all the notes i have

again, i miss gwen and merlin

merlin is MONCHING on those berries. i'm craving berries now

ok but like. yk that pouch that gaius is using to make the forromoh dormant? what if merlin tucked it in his neckerchief as a precaution. i'm just saying.

aslfkjasdaskdjf the tavern

yall why did merlin have to stop his horse to drink the potion

i want the knights to have a cool band name or smth yk what i mean?

i like that merlin is still a little in the camelot red. it's not the same shade but yk what i mean

HAHA LEON AND PERCIVAL BEING PUSHED TOGETHER. I JUST KEPT ON SCREAMING SUBTEXT SUBTEXT

damn morgana wants RESUKTS. i dont blame her

the frist interaction with merlin and morgana in the hut is so awkward. pls.idek how to comment on it

deadass morgana's dress is so pretty.

magic fight! magic fight!

stfu 'rightfully mine' pls

hehe there's a leaf in his hair

ok i feel like i should've commented more on the magic fight but idk bro

so ik that colin was in this whole episode but it really only just now feels like merlin is here and i think that's fun

arthur is the cutest. i'm loving this dynamic you have no idea. i live live live live LIVE off banter. pls

guys i'm sad apparently i can only put 10 pics in a post but pls enjoy this one pic of arthur right here 😭

ok idk abt you but i'd love to hear jokes abt brass

agaragvaine pls die already

YOU'RE SUCH A PERV LITERALLY

GO

AWAY

NOW

dude that last scene was actually really pretty and i'm sad that i can't attach it now

anyways thanks for reading my long ass rambles. but i'll be back next week to the secret sharer i'll catch you on the flip side

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

Headcannon promt

When they propose to their significant other how would they do it ? Who in the pairing would propose? Any pairings you would like although I would like at least one Merlin/Arthur.

(Headcanon Masterlist) (Full Masterlist)

These two are along the same lines, so I shall combine them!!! These are very cute, anons, thank you :D

There’s... quite a lot under the cut, gang :P

Merthur - Arthur proposes, but Merlin knows something is coming from the very second Arthur decides he’s going to do it. They’re at a point in their relationship where they tell each other everything, so Arthur suddenly: 1) Hiding his insecurities (that Merlin will say no) 2) Is making excursions and not taking Merlin with him, or even telling him where he’s going/obviously lying about where he’s going (to see Hunith and the Druids/buy a ring/scout out where he wants to do it) 3) Is having hushed conversations with all their shared friends (asking for opinions/advice/favours) 4) Is not only ok with, but actively encouraging Merlin to spend loads of time fucking about with Gwaine and Lance and Elyan (so he can sneak off to plan)... All Of It Is Sus. He figures it out within a week. But mainly because, even after all that, Arthur leaves a letter from the jeweller on his desk, and then doesn’t notice when Merlin tidies it away for him. They definitely write their own vows, and they’re all about destiny and golden futures and fate and the stars. Everyone cries. Everyone.

Arwen - Very similar to Merthur, in that Arthur proposes and it’s very obvious. But she figures it out properly when she corners Leon and Elyan and forces them to tell her what’s up. She may or may not play up the tears deliberately to guilt them into telling her, and they’re so worried about her being overwhelmed or scared of saying no or being unprepared for marriage that they cave and tell her pretty quickly. She gets this smug smile on her face, wipes away the tears, and says “Hmm. I thought so. Good,” and then leaves them flabbergasted. No one ever finds out about this, and Arthur thinks he surprised her with it up until the day he dies (of old age, obviously). They use the traditional vows, but add a line or two of their own in at the end, just to make it a bit personal. Merlin and Leon cry. Elyan tries to pretend he’s not crying, but he is.

Mergwen - Gwen proposes, but it’s spur of the moment. Well, sort of. She’d been hinting at Merlin about marriage for a couple weeks, after coming to the conclusion very suddenly one evening (she had been reading, Merlin had been muttering angrily to himself whilst mixing some tincture or other for the physician’s chambers) that she wanted to marry this man. So it’s just sort of on her mind. Then one day, it’s sunny, and warm, and they’ve taken a picnic out to a meadow that it literally FULL of wild flowers and butterflies and bees. They’ve been there for hours, talking and laughing and eating good food and snogging a bit, and there’s a comfortable lull in the conversation. He’s looking out across the field, and she’s looking at his smile, and she just... asks. Very bluntly, “Marry me.” . He sort of laughs and snorts and shakes his head and says “Yeah, sure.” but Gwen takes his hand and he finally looks at her and she’s serious and she says it again, and Merlin has a blushing beau moment all 😳 but then, of course, says yes, of course he’ll marry her, consider them officially engaged. They go ring shopping together the next day, and it’s a very short engagement, with little fuss and planning before they get married. They write their own vows, and they’re short and sweet, about best friends and bonds stronger than anything and a soft, sunny, life together, full of flowers and laughter. Once again, everyone cries.

Morgwen - Morgana proposes for sure, and it’s so sweet and soft and lovely and awkward; she’s nervous around Gwen for the first time in her life. They’re in Morgana’s chambers, because Morgana didn’t want Gwen to suspect, and didn’t want it to be some public spectacle. She starts rambling, but after a minute of so, Gwen just kisses her into shutting up, before pulling back and smiling softly and so quietly saying “yes, you silly woman.”. They fight over who gets Merlin in the ceremony, and as a compromise, he walks both of them down the aisle at the same time, and hands each other their rings. Arthur officiates of course, as much as Morgana joked about giving him a seat in the back row, she desperately wants her brother right there with her when it happens. They write their own vows, and though they’re pretty short, they’re very sweet, all about facing the darkness, and embracing the light, together, no matter what.

Mergana - To be perfectly honest, either one of them could propose, it depends on the circumstances. If Merlin is still a servant, or it’s super early on after he’s become Court Sorcerer, then Morgana proposes. OR she tells Merlin it’s ok, he’s allowed to propose *hint hint*. If Merlin is actually respected in court and the relationship is widely known and approved of, then Merlin proposes on his own. Together, they’re pretty private people, so they use traditional vows, maybe with one line at the beginning or end that’s a touch personal, maybe about their magic being entwined forever or something. BUT when they’re alone later on, they stand in fron of the hearth in their chambers and give each other their own vows, written by them (with the help of Gwen on both sides lol). They’re SUPER emotional, and they both cry, and it’s so ridiculously soppy. Mainly because after everything, this is... a happy ending? An actually happy ending? Neither of them ever though they would get that, and here they are, reading their vows to each other, in their own room, in their accepting Kingdom, after getting married in front of all their friends and family, who knew about their magic.

Merwaine - Gwaine proposes. And it’s a complete shock to everyone, including Gwaine; he’d only figured out he’d wanted to do it like... thirty seconds prior. When the thought first pops into his head, it goes something like this: “Oh my God, I want to marry this man. Pfft, marriage? Gross. I’m not going to be here or with him forever. Fuck. Yes I am, I could never leave him ever. Ok. Ok ok. Let’s wait, see how long this lasts, figure out Merlin’s feelings, maybe he’s not ready for marriage yet?? He’s never mentioned it?? In all the time we’ve been courting?? Hmm. Ok. Let’s wait it out.” Then Merlin does something cute, like smile, and Gwaine just says “Marry me?” and everything stops and he goes bright red and Merlin is obviously kinda... bummed? When he sees how uncomfortable Gwaine is?? When he sees that Gwaine didn’t mean it?? And Gwaine has that whole thought process again but very quickly goes fuck it and doubles down until Merlin says yes with a grin. The moment in promptly ruined by Arthur going “...Now then,” because they were in the middle of a hunt or patrol or worse, a meeting. They do traditional vows, upon Gwaine’s request, but he painstakingly writes Merlin a letter explaining all his worries and feelings and how much Merlin means to him. Just because he’s not great at vocalising that sort of stuff, and he also... doesn’t think it should be for anyone else’s ears anyway.

Arwaine - Arthur proposes, but Gwaine says no, and Arthur is heartbroken, until Gwaine explains that yes, he wants to marry Arthur one day, he’s just not quite ready yet; he’s scared about being coronated, about being Prince Consort/King. He’s just worried about the way things will change, and Arthur understands, even though he’s still a little upset. They make a pact that Gwaine will do the proposal, when he’s ready, and in the mean time they make their courtship slightly more public, and give Gwaine more responsibilities and exposure, bit by bit, until he feels more secure in it all. In the end, it’s less than a year until he pops the question, and Arthur is shocked into tears because he thought it would be five years at least before Gwaine decided he was ready, and there he is, down on one knee.

Arthurlot - Arthur proposes, only because no matter how much he tries to convince him, Lance is still... unsure about his worth stood next to a King. It’s the only rocky part of their relationship, that Lancelot almost always defers to Arthur because he’s The King, and he’s a loyal knight, when they should be equal partners in everything. Lance says yes, then freaks out the night before the wedding, so much so that Merlin AND Percival are called to calm him the fuck down. Merlin gets frustrated (in a loving way) easily when it comes to Lance not believing in himself, so he has to leave the pep talk to Percy, and it’s all “You love him, Arthur, not King Arthur Pendragon of Camelot. And he loves you, Lance, not Sir Lancelot DuLac of Frankia, so take a breath, and marry him.” Merlin adds on a helpful “you dolt.” to the end of course. The use traditional vows, but afterwards Lance like... pours his heart out in private and Arthur is absolutely speechless and just holds him and they both cry a little and it’s all very ridiculous and soppy but. So so somft.

Mercalot - Lancelot proposes, and it’s really traditional and lovely and he forced all the gang to help him with the planning and execution. Though truthfully, they were all super willing; willingness however, does NOT equal helpfulness, and Gwen, Leon, and Morgana were basically the only ones who were any use. He takes the two of them out to a lovely meadow just below a waterfall in the height of Spring for a picnic. He hides the ring in his pocket until after they’ve eaten lovely food, courtesy of Gwen sweet talking the cook, and expensive booze, courtesy of Arthur being bullied persuaded by Leon. It’s so perfect and fairytale, and it’s everything Lancelot wanted Merlin to have in life, Merlin who says yes, of course. They write their own vows. They’re not too long, but they aren’t short either, and they’re so fucking sappy. E V E R Y O N E cries, big time, even the guards in the room who don’t really know either of them that well. The vows are all about coincidental meetings vs fate, and always having each other’s backs and following each other to the edge of the Earth and unending loyalty.

Merleon - Leon proposes, because he’s the more traditional. Everything about it is traditional: he asks Hunith’s permission, he asks Arthur’s permission (with the understanding that he’d be pissed if Arthur says no), he lays out a lovely dinner with candles and good food and flowers, he gets down on one knee. Merlin thinks the whole thing is very cute, but when it comes to courting stuff, Leon is very predictable, so he knew exactly what was coming the moment Leon requested he dress nicely for a normal private dinner. They also use traditional vows, but Leon goes off piece at the end, just to get some more emotions off his chest. It’s only a line or two, but it’s so incredibly important to Merlin, so he does it too and it’s very emotional.

Merlyan - Elyan asks, but it’s off the cuff and a sort of “Run away and marry me” sorta thing, but the emphasis is on the running away bit, and Merlin is all “I... would love nothing more, but I can’t.” and Elyan already knew that, he knew that, but he’s still bummed, ya know?? But then a few months pass, and Merlin is still crazy busy trying to protect Arthur and Camelot from the shadows, and Elyan can do nothing more than watch from the side-lines and patch him up when he gets home, knowing that he can’t get Merlin to leave and go adventuring somewhere safe. He proposes again, but it’s “Let me stay here with you, and let me marry you.” and Merlin... he knows the meaning of that. He knows that, whilst Elyan will always come back to Camelot, that Camelot is still his home, he craves the world, he craves the thrill of not knowing where he’s going next. And Elyan asking if he can stay right here as part of his proposal... Merlin knows he means it. They write their own vows for the wedding, but they’re fairly simple, just a few lines about how life is always an adventure as long as they’re together, and how they’ll always have each others’ backs, no matter what. Gwen friggin’ sobs. As does Gwaine.

Gwencalot - Either to be honest. If Lancelot proposes, it’s super traditional, like Merleon, and if Gwen proposes, it’s because she’s been hinting about marriage for months and either Lance doesn’t get the hint or can’t get the nerve up, so she just does it off the cuff. Either way, it’s very emotional and heartfelt and lovely, and they both give each other little speeches. They do traditional vows at the actual ceremony, but give each other more little speeches later on in private.

~

I hope this please you anons!! I enjoyed writing these so much :D

[alovesongshewrote]

Almost A Thousand Years - Witch Hunt | Hisirdoux Casperan

Plot:  You’ve known Hisirdoux Casperan for almost a thousand years.  You’ve hated him for almost a thousand years.  And for almost a thousand years, you’ve been cursed to feel each others pain.  But somewhere in that time, things changed.  [Hisirdoux Casperan x Mostly Gender Neutral but Probably Female Presenting Based on How Historical Men Treat Them!Reader]

Word Count:  4,463

Warnings: i swear some more and uh... i can’t really give a warning, it’s spoilers.  you’ll probably like it tho, i promise

A/N:  today’s a/n shout out goes to @furblrwurblr​ for drawing femboy hooters douxie and fucking cursing me

Taglist:  @furblrwurblr​ @rainningdoom​ @fluffydmonkey @blondie0458​ @sitherin-mxschief​ @jinxedleo​ @lawlesshedgehog @einahpetsyarcip​ @dolphincommander​

Back | Next​

“I told you the boy was bad news Master,” past you said with way too much pride in their voice for your liking.

“Oh, would you shut up?”

“So you’re me from the future, then?  Tell me, how do you end up travelling time with the likes of that git?”

“Oi, shut your mouth you little-” Douxie put his hand over your mouth, effectively shutting you up for the time being.

“Calm down (Y/N), please,”

Both you and your past self said “No,” in unison.  It would have been funny in literally any other situation, but alas, this was what fate handed to you.

“All of you, silence!  Have you any idea what you’ve done?  I knew my apprentice was an ignoramus, but travelling through time?  Time!”

You felt a very strong urge to scream, but fortunately, Douxie was doing the talking.

“I think we handled ourselves just fine, all things considered.  And technically, it was your idea,”

“Damn right,”

“Well, then, you must have botched it up!  My planning is flawless!”

“For the record, Master, I had nothing to do with this.  He did, which is me, and… ugh!  Time travel, so confusing!”  past Douxie was awake, and you decided right then if anyone said anything else you were going to knock him, your past self, and Merlin unconscious just for some peace and quiet.

“Aah!  The timelines are in complete disarray!”

Oop, that counted as saying something, “They’re about to be in more disarray,” 

“Seriously, (Y/N), calm down,”

“Don’t you talk to me… us?  Like that!”  past you was a little confused, but they still had the spirit.  It was the wrong kind of spirit, but spirit nonetheless.  You sighed, knowing that Douxie was right.

“No, (Y/N)?  Me?  Whatever.  He’s right, I just need a second,”

Past you froze in absolute shock while Douxie's past self decided to relish in the fact that you were wrong.

Present Douxie didn’t have a lot of patience for this, “Look, both of you, quiet down for a second.  Master, I can fix this, I swear!”

“Ah-ah, your meddling has already wreaked enough havoc on history!”

“Then surely we can use the time map to change things back, and then it’ll all be as it was,”  Archie said as you, your Douxie and the familiar surrounded Merlin, your focus on the time map in your former master's hands.

“It doesn’t work that way.  The map only offers glimpses of possible futures!  There are no detailed instructions,”

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad,”  Douxie said, reaching towards the device before Merlin slapped his apprentice’s hand away causing both of your hands to sting.

“Ow.  Look, life doesn't come with instructions, and we live through it every day without causing too much damage.  We can manage this!  It’ll be fine,”

“Not that bad, eh?  It’ll be fine, eh!?”  Merlin said before revealing just what the time map had to show you.  

King Arthur was on the ground, dead.  Needless to say, that was not good.

“Oh, fuzzbuckets,”  Both Douxies and your past self said.

“Oopsie,” you grimaced at the consequences of your actions. 

“Your little dungeon break must have changed fate!  Now, unless I stop it, the king will die!”

Merlin stormed out of the room, off, probably, to fix your mistakes.  Beside you, your Douxie groaned, bracing himself against the table.  You put a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.

“Seriously, how can you stand to touch him?”

It was your turn to groan.  You didn’t even look at your past self as you responded, “Because he is my friend and I care about him,”

It may have been a risky statement, one that could doom both you and your wizard, but the smile on Douxie’s face was worth it.

“I don’t understand, how can you-”  

Douxie cut off his past self, “You’ll understand when you’re older.  Now, you two stay here, we have to go,”  he grabbed your hand, and you left to find Claire or anything else that would help save the future.  Whichever came first.

It was Claire.  Claire came first.  You could hear the knights cheering from your place in the shadows.  The noise was a decent cover-up for your conversation.

“They’re hunting Jim!  If they catch him, he’ll be killed!”

“I know, and he’s not the only one.  Because of us, Arthur’s now fated to eat the big one, too!”

“Eat the what?  Oh, no, was I supposed to bring food?”

“He’ll be eating a death sandwich, Steve,”

“Ugh, who would eat that?  Gross,”

Douxie groaned, but you couldn’t help but laugh a little.  Times were tough, but that didn’t stop you from admitting that Steve absolutely had a point.

“Look, if Arthur dies, we lose the Battle of Killahead and the war,”

“Which will probably mess up time so much, you’ll never be able to return home,”  Archie said, pawing his way around your hiding space.

“At least, not our home,”  you glared at the ground, as if the dirt was the reason the world was at stake.

“Oh no!  Toby!”

You looked up at the time map just in time to see the War Hammer disappear into a blue mist.  That could not be a good sign.

“What’s happening to him?”

“The future- our future, is vanishing!”

“There’s gotta be a way to fix this,” you said, using the time map, searching through time to find something that would save your home.  Among the red, there was a moment of blue.  You paused as an image of Arthur and Morgana getting along flashed into the sphere.

“What’s that?”  Claire asked before you had the chance to ask the same thing.

“Well, that wasn’t there before.  It’s a new timeline, one where Arthur and Jim live,”

“And Morgana’s the hero?  I thought she was destined to become Mistress Doom,”

“No, you’re thinking Mistress of all Dark Magic.  Mistress of Doom is… something else,”

“What?”  Douxie paused, looking at you with vast amounts of suspicion.  

“You’d be surprised by some of the house calls I’ve made.  Now, keep talking,”

Douxie shook his head, but he was smiling.  Good.  You loved that smile.

“It looks like there’s a possibility if we get Arthur and Morgana to reconcile, then somehow, nobody dies,”

“I don’t think I have to say that that’s the outcome we want!”

You took a moment just to look at Douxie’s face.  In this small moment of victory, which was over too soon, he looked happier than you’d seen him in a while.  Of course, you never saw his face when he looked at you.

“Squire Steve!  We are all thirsty!”  and bam, moment over.  Thanks, Gallahad.

“I’ll keep an eye on Morgana.  Douxie, you work on Arthur.  (Y/N), Steve, make sure they don’t kill my boyfriend,”

“We’re on it.  Don’t die out there, guys,”

“We won’t,” Douxie said, taking one last look at you before he ran off.  You and Steve did the same.

About a minute in, you could feel things going wrong.  Your chest hurt as if you’d crashed to the floor.  It wasn’t awful, so you ignored it and kept moving forward, following Steve and the knights and making a mental note to make sure Douxie was ok when you had time.  A smirk made its way onto your face when said wizard knocked his past self out.  You couldn’t imagine that it was good for him, but if he could still perform magic, he was ok.  

And after that, things were okay.

At least for you.

Douxie was having a difficult time getting Arthur to listen to him.  Magic, as always, turned out to be a useful tool.  The king and his sister began their reconciliation, but something was troubling him.  He saw the way they looked at the illusion of Gweneviere.  They had both loved her.  Arthur even called Gwen “the heart of him,” and they had lost her.  He could see the grief on their faces, how it killed the king and weighed down the sorceress was clear to anyone who looked at them the right way.

This was not the first time Douxie contemplated his fear of losing you.  He’d been afraid of that for a long time, and one could say that he was used to the familiar sense of anxiety that made itself at home within him whenever you were in danger.  But now?  Now he looked at the faces of the royal family and realized that losing you would completely destroy him.  

Douxie was already a selfless person, one who would sacrifice everything he was to save the world, but right then, he decided that he would sacrifice the world to save you.  You were the world to him.  

But he couldn’t focus on that right now.  He had a job to do.

So did you.  And Steve was not making it any easier.

“Kill the beast!”

“Wait, kill?  I thought this was catch and release!”

“Oh, my g- ok, come on, Steve,”

You grabbed the boy by his armour and dragged him along as you followed the group, stopping dead when you reached the troll that the guards spoke of.

Arthur’s men had slung chains around the creature, restricting its movement to next to nothing.  You were not okay with this.

“Squire Steve, will you do the honours?”  Lancelot asked, tossing his sword to the boy.  

The boy whimpered, very obviously uncomfortable with this.  He turned to you, eyes desperately searching for instructions on what to do in this situation.  You shook your head, trying to get across that needless murder should probably be avoided.

Whether or not Steve got the message, you would never know.  The troll jumped at the teen.  You jumped in front of him, creating a shield with your magic, and Arthur jumped in front of you, swinging a sword at the troll and putting himself in some pretty needless danger.  You couldn’t talk on that subject though.  When it came to needless danger, you were freaking royalty.

“Careful, young squire, witch,” he spat out your title like it was a curse, “Show these beasts no sympathy,”

He kicked the troll into the sunlight, turning it to stone instantly.  You looked on with disappointment as the guards cheered.

Behind you, Steve whimpered again.  You turned, hoping to provide some comfort, or calm the kid down at least, when you froze, your blood running cold.  Behind Steve stood Bular, aka the Troll who kept trying to kill you.

“Shit,”

The Gumm-Gumm prince knocked Steve aside, advancing and attacking the guards.  He hadn't noticed you yet, and you intended to keep it that way, staying out of the troll's field of view, and going after Steve instead.  You helped the boy up and off the ground.  He wasn't injured, but you realized that the king was about to be.  

Before you could do anything, Douxie and Merlin had things under control, saving Arthur and taking out the troll prince.  You breathed a sigh of relief.  If things went well, Bular wouldn’t see you.  Very few things ever went well, but you had your fingers crossed.

And it worked!  For once, things went your way.  Arthur knocked the Gumm-Gumm out with a kick to the face.  Sure, he said some very menacing and antagonistic things right after, but you had no thoughts in your head other than, “Well, that was convenient,”

You watched the guards take Bular away, taking note of Morgana questioning who the real monster was.  If Bular hadn’t tried to kill you and your friends and hadn’t successfully gotten you tortured a couple decades ago, you might have agreed with that.  Unfortunately, he had.

You hadn’t realized that you’d lost yourself in memories until Douxie said your name.

“-(Y/N), are you alright, love?”

“I-” you watched them take the troll out of sight, “I will be,”

Your wizard took one of your hands, squeezing it, “I’m right here if you need me,”

“I know,”

It was silent for a moment.  Then you heard the knights calling Steve.

“I should go,”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,”

“But I should.  Someone needs to make sure that kid doesn’t run into any more high ranking Gumm-Gumms,”

Douxie seemed hesitant, but he respected your choice, “Stay safe,”

“You too,”

From the corner of her eye, Morgana watched you and Douxie.  She wasn’t focused on it, per-say, but she did find it odd.  Were Merlin’s apprentices not constantly at each other’s throats?  She ignored it for now and moved on.

Things went decently for you after that.  The forest was peaceful, the knights were quiet.  Everything was chill until Steve decided to walk through a trap.  You weren’t sure why he didn’t just stop.  Kids these days, honestly.  

You winced as the arrows hit his armour and his skin.  Beside you, Gallahad and Lancelot were absolutely losing their shit.  You had to admit, it was kind of funny, but you were also concerned for your friend.  You put up a shield around him, sheltering the teen from any further arrow-related damage.  Needless to say, the knights were very disappointed.

“Oh, come on, now!  Don’t spoil all the fun,”

“It was fun for the first minute.  Now I’m concerned for his health,”

“Really?  Merlin’s witch apprentice showing concern?  Well then, we’ve found something rarer than the holy grail!”

You took a moment, keeping up your shields as the king and his guards moved through the trap, Lancelot and Gallahad now supporting Steve.

It was weird to see how much you’d changed.  Talking to your past self had been surreal, and a decent reminder of what a little shit you had been, but you hadn’t considered the specifics.  Past you was a scared kid doing what their king told them to.  Under Gunmar, you didn’t have any interests or hobbies outside of getting stronger and staying alive.  Even after you left, you really didn’t start to become who you were now for a few centuries.  You'd been scared that the Gumm-Gumms would come for you at any moment, and that fear wouldn't leave you until at least the fifteen hundreds.  You suddenly felt enormous amounts of guilt weighing on your shoulders.  Guilt about what you’d forced your past self to go through, that you never got a childhood worth having, that you hadn’t been a person for so long that it took centuries to take a real interest in something.  And you felt guilty about how you’d treated other living things.  You knew now that everyone who could be saved deserved saving, but the child you were in the twelfth century didn’t know that.  

But you couldn’t fix the past, even though you were now reliving it.  The only thing you could do was forgive yourself.

And so you did.

Then you ran after the knights to see if Steve was okay.

He was.  Teenagers are surprisingly resilient, that’s how they can do dumb things and not die.  You counted Steve coming out of that trap mostly unscathed as a win.  What wasn’t a win was Lancelot spotting Jim and Callista, looking at what appeared to be Jim’s phone.

You had no idea if that would affect the space-time continuum, but what would affect you personally was your friends getting shot.  And Lancelot was aiming a crossbow at them.  Great.

Beside you, you could hear Steve’s internal panic.  This time he didn’t turn to you, instead, he chose to act, smacking the crossbow out of the knight’s hands.  The arrow still fired, but there was still time.  You put a spell on the arrow, knocking it off course a little more and lessening the impact.  However, there was still an impact.  You could hear as much from the trolls below you.

Lancelot lined up another shot, but Steve knocked the weapon aside again, and you used your magic to push the crossbow out of reach.  It didn’t do much, but it bought your friends some much needed time.  The knight thrust the crossbow at Steve, clearly frustrated.

“What if we just let this one go?”  Steve’s efforts were admirable, you’d give him that much

“You never let them go,”

Lancelot turned away from you to face the king, who was rallying his soldiers.

You put a hand on Steve’s shoulder, “Hey, you did a good thing, kid,”

“Thanks, (Y/N),” Steve’s voice shook slightly, and you felt awful.  If you had time, you probably would have hugged him, told him everything was going to be okay, and maybe adopted him, but right now, you had to find some way to protect Jim.

The knights ran off, leaving you and Steve watching them go.  

Douxie and Merlin came out of the bushes, clearly in pursuit of the king.  They called out to him before running off again.

“C’mon Steve, we have to follow them,”

The boy, who was still shaken, nodded, following behind you as you ran after everyone else.  

Things were not going well.  Morgana and Arthur were fighting, knights were surrounding the area, and Lancelot was firing arrows at children.

Claire was skilled enough to fend for herself, scaring Lancelot, but before the knight could say anything that everyone would regret, Steve knocked him out with a large rock.  You were a bit surprised, but also very pleased.

“Whoa, man, that troll- that came out of nowhere!  Right guys?”

Lancelot woke, only for Steve to hit him again.  You were very proud.

“Nice one, Steve!”

“Thanks!  Uh, can you do your doctor thing?  Make sure I didn’t kill him?”

You kind of doubted that Lancelot had been killed by the rock, but head trauma exists in every century, so you nodded and began your assessment.  You managed to focus up and do your work, ignoring the clanging metallic noise of the battle before you.  Then the pain hit you.  It was like you’d been thrown back into a tree, but that hadn’t happened, so what was- Douxie!

You rushed your assessment, focused on the ache in your spine, “He isn’t dead, Steve, you’re in the clear,”

The teenager punched the air, saying something that you weren’t paying attention to.

“Sorry, kid, I’ll be right back,”

That was kind of a lie.  You weren’t sure when you’d be back.

You made your way to Douxie’s side, helping him up as Morgana sent a beam of gold magic into the sky, before bringing it down on the earth like a whip.  Your wizard pulled you close to him, trying to shield you from the magic.  Had she been paying attention, Morgana would have declared this officially strange, but at the moment she was fighting her brother and former mentor.

You, Claire and Douxie thought it would be a good idea to try and reason with the angry sorceress.

“Stop!  We found another way!”

“It doesn’t have to be like this!”

“We can do this peacefully!”

“The time for peace ended long ago,”

“Morgana,” Claire called out, “He’s not the enemy,”

Morgana continued to rant, but you were a little distracted by the fact that she was now flying.  It wasn’t the best choice either of you had made, but you and Douxie got closer, just in time for the sorceress to cast a spell, creating shadow-like clones of herself.

“Oh, buckets,”  Douxie said as shadow-clones appeared before all of you.

“Yeah, that,”  you drew your sword.  There wasn’t much left to do but fight.

Unfortunately, you were in the minority when it came to having a weapon.  You watched as your friends struggled and dodged, eventually backing away, but wherever they went the shadows followed (as shadows are wont to do.)

Your small group found their way to a cliff, overlooking the ocean.  You recognized this place, but you weren’t sure how.

You could hear Merlin call for someone to protect the king, but you were a little busy fighting for your life at that moment.  

Somehow, you found an opening and sliced through the clone.  You only enjoyed your victory for a moment before Douxie was thrown to the ground, causing you both to wince from the pain.  You were about to make your way over to him when Arthur pointed his sword towards the sky, drawing a spell into the blade and releasing it into the ground, knocking everyone back and banishing the shadow-clones.

Douxie helped you up before you both ran to get the time map.  The sphere flickered from red to blue.  You looked out into the sunset and suddenly realized where you recognized this place from.

Morgana’s name left your lips and Douxie’s at the same time.  The time map’s sphere showed the sorceress’s body.

You and your wizard ran towards the duelling siblings in a last attempt to stop them, but you were once again blown back.  

You screamed as Morgana fell off the cliff for the second time in your life.

You couldn’t remember walking back to the castle. 

You knew you must’ve done it because you would remember being carried back, but you didn’t know how you got from the cliff to Camelot.

And now Claire was talking, “She’s gone.  We failed,”  as if you needed reminding.

“No,” Douxie’s voice came from beside you, “I failed.  Master, I-I’m so sorry,”

“This is why you don’t meddle with time,”

You didn’t even sass Merlin about how this was his idea.  You were out of sass at the moment.  Your head was full of static as you tried to process things.

“But I tried, I tried to fix it,” Douxie fell to his knees, his eyes on the still flickering time map.

Correction, your brain was full of static and heartbreak.  You knelt beside your wizard, putting your hands on his shoulders as he focused on the time map.

“Don’t you see, boy?  There is no ‘fixing’ anything,  Every change has consequence.  Knowing the future is a responsibility to bear with caution, lest you cause the worst things to happen,”

You couldn’t look Merlin in the eye.  Even as he walked away, you didn’t watch him go.

“Morgana’s dead, Excalibur's broken.  This never happened,”

“We are in uncharted territory,” Archie said, coming closer to you and Douxie, allowing the wizard to pat him.

The pain in your chest was his.  The utter anguish he felt over failing to fix things stabbed through you.  And it wasn’t just that.  He had failed Claire, and Steve, and Jim.  He had failed Merlin, and Toby and Camelot.  But the worst thing was he had failed you.  He had destroyed your future, and now you were stuck here.  The very thought of it ripped through him, and you felt all of it.

You bit your lip, just then realizing what that day was.

As if he realized what was to come, Archie took a few steps back, wandering away from the two of you.

“Hey, Doux,” he turned to look at you, the sorrow in his eyes eating you alive, “This was the night.  In our timeline, anyway,”

“What?”

“Where was that fight again?  Merlin’s study?  The staircase?  The throne room?”

“(Y/N)?”

“If we wait outside, do you think we’ll see it happen?”

The pieces fell into place for him, too.

“I don’t even know if it will,”

You waited a moment.

“Who knows.  We hated each other enough, we might still get cursed,”  The joking tone in your voice made you both smile, even though it didn’t reach your eyes.

“Seriously, though, Douxie.  I think whatever bond Merlin gave us, I-” you took a deep breath, knowing that what you said next would definitely damn you both.  But that didn’t matter.  He needed to hear this.

“I think it was the best thing that ever happened to me.  You are the best thing that ever happened to me,”

Douxie looked surprised, only for a second, before his eyes cast their gaze to the ground, to the time map that sat closed on the floor.  “Are you sure?”

His voice was so quiet you barely heard him, and it was so sad, so scared, that you could feel your heart shatter into a million pieces right then and there, “Yeah,” your voice felt like it would break at any minute, “Yeah, I’m sure,”

Your predictions were correct.  Your voice broke and tears came to your eyes, much to your embarrassment.

“(Y/N),” Douxie turned his body towards yours, taking your face in his hands, “You-” he took a second, also feeling that his voice would fail him at any minute, “You mean everything to me, and I-I ruined your future.  We don’t have a home to go back to, and it’s my fault, I-”

“Douxie,” you cut him off, “As long as I’m with you, I’m home.  If we have to, we’ll just build a new future, together,” you ran a hand through his hair.  This was it.  This is what was going to kill you, “I love you, Hisirdoux Casperan,”

There was silence.

And then his lips were on yours.

Do you remember the kiss in the 80s?  Yeah, that was child’s play compared to this.

Your lips fit together perfectly,  his hands glided over your back, pulling you closer to him.  Your hands held his face, swiping away at the tears that threatened to fall.  You found your bottom lip captured between his.  A gasp escaped you when he bit down.  It wasn’t enough to draw blood, but it was enough for your heart to race a little faster, if that was even possible, and tighten your grip just a little.  You could almost feel his pulse racing, and you were absolutely certain he could feel yours.  Your last kiss had been everything in your past, but this kiss was your future.  It was a promise that no matter what came next, you would face it together.

And then you remembered exactly what it was that your future held.

T'was a mood killer.

You broke the kiss, almost unwillingly and definitely wanting more, but Douxie had been right.  He should know what, “I don’t want to kill you anymore,” meant.

Also, there was a loud crash and bright lights from one of the towers, and that was pretty distracting.

“Those damn kids.  Did we really fight so much?”

That almost got a laugh from you, but you had something else to focus on right now.  You rested your forehead against his for a moment, just breathing for a second before your spoke, your voice low, “Douxie, I have to explain some stuff,”

“What is it, darling?”

“You were right, there’s some stuff you should know.  Doux, I think now is later,”

You bit your lip before standing and motioning for him to follow you into the castle, “Let’s go,”