#i love you so damn you and they don't deserve you

[blastiebabe]

hell yeah, you are spoiled

Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

You place your phone somewhere Katsuki cannot notice, and in an angle enough to be able to see most of the space in the bedroom you share with him.

You press record and come back to sitting in front of your vanity table to continue getting ready for your date night. You have seen this TikTok video and was inspired by it to put your phone on record to test how easily your boyfriend can be enraged for you.

Katsuki comes into your shared bedroom wearing only trouser pants that fits perfectly in his waist and accentuate his hips. Seeing him through your mirror, you can't help but realize how beautiful your boyfriend is. Katsuki heads to the closet looking for a shirt to wear.

"Love, what color are you wearing?" He asks as he look at his clothes on the rack.

You came back to your senses when you heard him speak, you have been so mesmerized by his beauty you almost forgot you were shooting.

"A black dress." You replied, looking at his direction. "Why?"

Katsuki looks back at you. "Just askin'." He says as he brings out a black polo and proceeds to sit on the bed.

You smirk at his response. "You wanna match colors with me or somethin'?" You tease him.

"Nah uh." You watch his condescending expression from his reflection on the mirror, his tone with an attitude while simultaneously having red ears. If you aren't planning anything, you weren't gonna let that slide, but since you are, you'll prioritize that.

You laugh at him and continued your make up, trying to find the right time to throw him the reason you started recording. He laid on the bed scrolling on his phone while waiting for you.

A minute passed, and you decided to finally tell him. "Love..." Katsuki immediately darted his eyes straight at you, waiting for the next thing you'll say.

"I have something I need to tell you but promise you won't be mad, okay?" You say calmly, acting yourself the hell out.

Katsuki immediately changed his position and sits up straight, eyes locked at you with a hint of worry in his face. "I ain't making any promises. What is it?"

You turn your back on the mirror and faced your boyfriend who has now a visibly worried face. You look at the floor and started playing with your fingers, making him worry more.

He stands up and sits on the edge of the bed in front of you. He is now near you and looking straight at you while you continue to look at the floor. "Princess, come on, you can tell me..."

"Well, I... I have read some comments on your social media page..." You look at Katsuki before you, you feel a hint of guilt when you saw how genuine his concern is. But you needed to continue.

"Mm hmm. And then?" He asks calmly.

"And... and some of your fans have left comments on the pictures you have uploaded of me."

"The hell did they say?" Katsuki asks now with a hint of irritation from his voice. This is going well. You thought.

"They said I am super spoiled." You say as sad as your acting can be.

You can clearly see the shift in Katsuki's eyes as you have muttered the last word, and his annoyance suddenly became a repressed laughter. He snorts as he covers his mouth.

You face him offended. Did he just laugh because other people called you spoiled? What the fuck?

Before you can even tell him off, he stands up, grabs his polo and started wearing it. "Love, you are spoiled." He says emphasizing on it.

"Katsuki, what the actual fuck?" You say having a hard time to process what he is saying.

He was about to button his polo when he suddenly sees you look so disappointed to what he just said. He clearly isn't making himself clear. He goes in front you, his right knee touching the floor as he looks straight into your eyes.

"My love, you honestly better be spoiled. Because I do spoil you, don't I?" Katsuki reaches for your hands. "So, hell yeah, you are spoiled. Because you are my princess and you deserve to get everything you want."

You can literally feel your annoyance slowly fading out. How can this man be so damn mean and sweet at the same fucking time?

Katsuki continues, "I know you spoil yourself even before we started dating, so it is my job to spoil you better than you spoil yourself." You can straight up see how genuine his words are through his eyes.

"And if I may I remind you, I am more than willing to spoil you 'til the ends of the Earth if it means I get to make you be happiest you've ever been." The man before you explain as he cups your cheek with his hand.

This conversation has turned into a completely different route from what you had expected. You had expected him to be furious about the comments, to be protective to not let other people talk like that about you. But turns out Katsuki has his own way to make you feel so damn good. This. This is the reason why Katsuki is different from all the other damned extras.

You can literally feel tears forming in your eyeballs. You cup both his cheeks with your hands, knowing anytime the damned tears might just fall. "You know I love you so damn much, right?"

You feel his smile in the palm of your hands. "Of course I do, my love." As soon as these words depart from his lips, you took the opportunity to have your lips met his.

Using your tongue to explain and make him remember how much you love him, and all the other things you feel for him that can never be explained by words alone.

Your hands travel on the nape of his neck bringing him closer to you as you deepen the kiss. You feel his hands at the small of your back as he let you lead.

When your lips parted, both of you are catching for your breath. You stare at Katsuki's mesmerizing face before you with his eyes glistening. "Now that was a perfect example of how you spoil me."

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ thank u for reading! :>> . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ ༶•┈ by yel0ngkape ┈•༶ i accept requests, so feel free to reach out! ♡

[sunflower1experiment]

Trust in me

Risk

What have you done?

Lower, lower, and stop in front of the playtime care, walking beside Harley in silence when you both walk by the toys, they cower or hiss. Kneeling down to their level to get a better look at the children, you hold one of the smaller critters. That was when Catnap came to view, he leaned in with a head tilt, you rubbed a hand over his head with careful poise, leaning into your hand the giant toy breathed out, Red...smoke...

"Enough." Harley orders and you both split apart, so the follow continues, "Who is that?"

"Theodore." It was quiet but he was prideful and held no remorse while you stared at each toy with a sad gaze, it was beside you. Any other time you held a gaze of firm animosity for every scientist who mistreated the toys. Scolding, yelling, even demonstrating the pain the toys experienced. But this is beyond you, Mommy and Huggy were easy access to your kind words and gentle touch. But these toys, these children, are out of reach.

Out of your hands, "Earth to my dear partner."

"Oh, sorry I was just spacing out."

"You seem to be doing that often." You both go silent knowing that this would wedge a rift if no one spoke, so you get ready to plead, but he cuts you off. "Listen, just because you cater to that bleeding heart of yours doesn't mean it'll save you from this moral veil you hide behind. You aren't the only one who had their moral compass challenged, and you will not be the last. I'm doing this because these orphans deserve better, I'm giving them better. Elliot didn't understand but you will soon enough."

He walks further ahead while your unshed tears begin to slide down your face, "......"

The walk was quieter than ever, the fight, flight, freeze or fawn triggers were rising in the head. All you can think of was, "Stop wallowing" or "Huggy is being patient for you." He was, wasn't he?

What have you done?

You first met Huggy, it was frightening, what happened to this toy? "What did you do?"

"We were training him; he's shown signs of complete obedience and respect.."

"Are you daft!? Damn it, he's practically seething!" You open the cell, bringing in a basket filled with fruits. "What are you doing!?"

Eddie tried to open the cell, but you continued your job, placing the basket down, holding Huggy's paw and then feeding the bigger toy. "You, okay?" He was quiet...

Unblinking, unmoving, he ate the apple, then the fruits after, and afterwards the giant toy was showing you his scars, so you wrap a bandage around them. "....."

It was irritating, to see these toys, above, below...

How much lower does this go?

That memory was so far behind, Eddie was furious, and you simply didn't care. Now that you know the truth, how dare he show signs of fury!? You're no better, the sinking feeling and the idea to manipulate Harley to be gentler. How stupid.

"Ya know, Elliot has a daughter. Poppy....she's further up, you and Poppy didn't meet yet, but I don't plan to let you both meet." Sawyer's words cut deep, he knew you well enough to know that if Poppy had any chance to whisper any form of the truth, you'd lose your mind.

What have you done?

That suspicion reaching your eyes, it made Harley shudder with excitement, he adores the reactions. The nights spent together, the breakfasts, or times you'd visit his place just to cook him some food or sometimes give him a loving break.

Spoiled is what he is, and he didn't even realize how badly this was hurting you and him both.

When you both went back up, the critters crawled up and you knelt down, hugging one of them. It was then Harley realized something, he noticed your gentle demeanor, somber smile, the way you cradled this critter...

"You're pregnant."

You try to avoid giving an obvious reaction, but the way his hands held your face, his fingers move to the back of your ears. He was searching for a pulse; you blink then chuckle out weakly. "Of course not, silly! I just really wanted to adopt Quinn, He's very sweet. Precious too."

He hums in thought, "Stella told me."

That made it skip two beats, and he was back to his calm apathetic demeanor. "So, when did you plan to tell me?"

"I...I don't know." You turn ahead as if that would even matter.

"You should have told me."

"Why?" Harley sighs as if he was tired of hearing you question his nuance, he suddenly snaps.

"Because it makes you more sentimental, your bleeding heart is already interrupting my handwork, because that simply means you're having our child, and it most of all means you are being a threat to yourself and this unborn life." You wince at each word, ignoring the rising tears that you blink away.

"I wouldn't have to put myself at risk if you weren't actively lying and manipulating me. But who am I kidding, I'm no better, those toys, those children. They were looking up to us, to Elliot. I'm not perfect but my worst mistake was letting you into my heart." The train stops, and you both go your separate ways.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

TW//bleeding, miscarriage, adoption plans, signs of depression (If you or a loved one is experiencing anything like this, seek help or call a trusted adult/loved one/ take the chance to therapy)

You were so stupid, it's all your fault, yes, your fault.

The metal floors clank with fury while you march past Stella, Leith, more scientists, Stella notices your angry tears and she follows.

"Hey- Hey!" She holds your face, while you sniffle weakly. "....Did..."

The woman looks at your stomach, then you while those unshed tears fall once more. "Oh..." She hugs you close, "It's okay."

"No, it's not..."

When you reach the door, her door....

"Poppy."

You open the door.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Walking inside this playhouse, you see the doll. "Poppy."

She turns with her giant doll-like eyes, staring in fear of being hurt again, but you merely kneel down and hug her close. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Poppy didn't know what to say, are you a friend? Did Ollie....no.

You continue hugging her.

She told you everything, Elliot, Harley, Quinn, all these children...Ollie.

The stress was enough to create such a dark mindset, in the back of your mind you weren't any better.

Rich noticed the signs carefully placing a hand on your shoulder, "Hey, um...try not to let this place get to you."

"It's fine Rich, you don't have to comfort me. Especially with the privileges I have compared to you, yea." It was true but so what!? Rich knew that, yet he still cared, the idea was simply that you were grieving.

"Ya know, I loved that boy. Quinn, I cherished him as if he were my own. Then I stupidly...." You look at the cameras, letting more tears cascade down.

No amount of comfort could save you, even with how stressful things were getting.

Prototype acknowledged that the third time you visit him, "liFE gROwS wItHin....YOu, aRe not Happy?"

"No, I'm not..." His hand holds yours; a twisted form of comfort arises, he wasn't one of them and yet...his voice, Harley's voice.

You found comfort in them, ".....Catnap, in one of the files I read, he mentioned a further...down..."

"tHe pRIsOn..."

The prison, your eyes widen...No, no no..

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Prototype knew what he was doing, surely you didn't.

Harley slams his fist down, "What have you done!?" He shouts, "What did you tell them!?"

Prototype chuckles darkly at Harley's anger, thriving off his agony even if it meant you were the one suffering. To Prototype you were indeed, no different than the rest, which is why you needed to find out the hard way.

You stare at this creature, files on the side, holding your stomach while Yarnaby breathes heavily through his cell. Unable to recognize you, Quinn, could not see the person who was so excited to take him in. Share the sweet life of home with Harley, what a stupid naive dream!

As you move further, you see Doey, and your mind races back to things you brushed off. "Experiment 1322 A and B.." Then to the accident, you were here long enough to acknowledge the dough incident. "Jack.." What of his parents?

Doey looks at you in confusion while you feel sweat beads going down your face, sensing your stress he begins to knock on the window, as if to warn the scientist. But no avail, suddenly you were on the ground, cradling your now shaking form.

Scientists only stopped when you were on the ground, the immediate thought was to call Stella.

You feel something...pain...contraption, Stella was beside you, once more hugging your feeble form. She breathes heavily, "How far- Hey. How far along was it!?"

"......T-Two months." Stelle sweats, while she anxiously orders for you to be taken to a lab.

Hours would pass, and she was on the floor weeping, sniffling with self-loathing. She had this chance to send you to the hospital, hell frame Harley or give up the evidence...but Lieth remains on her mind, his words. Their miracle working goal...

Now all she could remember was the blood curdling screams of anguish you let out; they filled the room. Her ears keep ringing as they start to turn into cries and then voices of another scientist trying to comfort you. Whispers upon rumors fill the prison and laboratory.

"Why would he do that?"

"What was even going on in their head?"

They blamed him, then you, then they'd call you ignorant or naive..

Privileged, Stella remembered when you tried so hard to protect that sweet bliss of hers. Keeping a smile, even sugarcoating Harley's words while she was a bit offended by his remarks. She remembered when you placed a yellow daisy in her vase, she enjoyed those a lot.

Her mind then went to Harley's when he placed that Tuberose, that Poppy flower, you tried so hard to protect her, and she failed you.

Harley had to cover this up, he sat beside the medical examination bed, while you say nothing. "I- didn't expect you to.."

"Be so naive?"

He sighs with regret of spilling out those words, "You didn't expect me to want to adopt Quinn?"

Harley merely covers his face while you list out more things that contradicted his work, for you to acknowledge your own flaws merely simply made it worse.

"I love you." Harley weakly responds, now holding your hand. "I should've just transferred or-"

"Fired me? Or baby trap me?" No not that that was cruel and just, uncalled for. It would be disgusting; he's seen cases like those. So, have you and for you to say that it made him want to cringe at the idea.

"I don't hate you Harley, I'm just disappointed in myself for falling for the facade I made up about you."

Harley stays silent when he realizes his perspective didn't match yours, his...you...

he failed; you were his failed experiment. He'd have to live with that forever.

When he left, Stella came in and hugged your hand to her head with sadness. You both were silent; it was a sad comfortable silence.

One week later and a Peony was resting in your vase, Stella's had a Yellow Carnation and Harley's had a butterfly weed.

Things were tense as they should be, Leith expected this but to find out the reason. He was disappointed rather than snarky about the incident, so he placed a white rose in the vase. You look at him while he walks away.

To him you were the one scientist he despised, not because of envy, or hatred, or disdain, but because he knew someone of your caliber and heart would get torn apart by Harley. Whether Harley wanted to or not, that was what made Leith, and you clash, he was usually bemused with your interaction with the toys.

He just wishes he could have stopped you in time.

[laseracronym]

They Made You Cry (MHA/Fem!Reader)

(Laser: I'm sad today, so I curse you with angst.)

Summary: MHA characters reacting to making their girlfriend cry. (Angst, arguments, and some unhealthy relationship dynamics.)

Characters: Bakugou, Dabi, Aizawa, Shigaraki, Midoriya

MHA-MHA-MHA

Bakugou

Katsuki's heart sinks when he sees the unmistakable wetness that mists over your eyes. What's worse, what really makes him feel like the worst kind of bastard, is the way you shy away from his gaze with a sense of bitter defeat. Like he's getting what he wanted. Like his victory, his intention, was pushing you to tears.

As if he could ever consider this a victory.

"H-Hey..." he reaches out to you, awkward and unsure. He's so bad at dealing with tears, especially yours. It's so much easier to take on whatever piece of shit that's made you cry, but in this case, it's him. He's the piece of shit.

You sniffle, hurriedly brushing past him, equal parts angry and hurt.

"Whatever, Katsuki."

Dabi

The thing about you is that you're so damn unpredictable. Sweet one second, drawing blood the next.

Dabi kind of loves it. It keeps things from becoming boring, getting stale. And you're so hot when your eyes are ablaze with whatever emotion is overcoming you.

Just like right now, in the middle of some pointless, bullshit argument, when something he says makes you snap. You tackle him to the ground, your hands fisting into his jacket as you yell in his face. All he can do is grin up at you dangerously, just as angry, but equally as enticed by just how vibrant you look in this moment.

Then something even sweeter happens.

Big, fat tears begin to drip from your wild eyes, and Dabi sucks in a breath. You sob, frustrated and overwhelmed, and his cold, little heart warms at the sight.

"Oh, pretty girl..."

His arms wrap around you as you cry into his chest, cursing his name all the while. He strokes your hair, twisted affection squirming in his chest like a nest of spiders.

Always so unpredictable and entertaining.

Aizawa

"(Name), I-" Shouta falters, all the anger and frustration from your argument washed away by cold, all-consuming guilt at the sight of the tears slipping down your face.

You hurriedly wipe them away, stepping back, away from him, and the guilt deepens.

He knows you hate crying in front of him, even when it isn't his fault. It makes you feel weak, and he knows you worry he'll think less of you, that he'll find your more emotional way of being "irrational."

You turn, hiding your face as you try to walk away, but he stops you, gently catching you by the arm.

"Wait," he pleads, his voice gentle, "I'm sorry." Because no argument is worth making you cry.

"I don't want you to see me like this," you mutter, your head down. But at least you're not pulling away from him. He takes that as a good sign.

"Don't hide from me," he urges. He takes you by the chin and tilts your head up so he can look at you properly. He brushes your tears away, regretful that they're there in the first place. "Let's talk about this, okay?"

He's always so stubborn, set in his ways. But he'll try to meet you in the middle, to understand your perspective. You're worth it.

Shigaraki

Tomura feels no guilt at the sight of your tears, only vindictive satisfaction. Good. He'd been aiming to hurt you when he said those words to you. He really can't stand the way you make him feel sometimes, so he's happy to return the favor.

"You're seriously crying?" he taunts with a cruel smirk, poking at your cheek with a mocking finger.

You smack his hand away, "fuck you, Tomura, you fucking prick," you hiss, trying not to cry even more in front of him. You turn and storm away from him before things get even worse.

"You're so pathetic!" he calls after you, making sure you can hear him before you slam the door behind you.

He huffs, standing there and scratching at his neck. You're so damn overdramatic, a pain in his ass. You deserve to cry a little for the shit you put him through.

The image of your tear-filled face flashes through his mind. He ignores the way it makes his stomach twist with discomfort.

Midoriya

Izuku feels his own eyes fill with tears, watching you hug yourself and cry in front of him.

"(N-Name)... please don't cry..." he begs, his hands brushing up and own your arms, trying to console you.

"I thought I was never going to see you again," you cry, your words making his heart ache. You scrub a shaking hand over your eyes, "I was so s-scared for you!"

"I'm sorry, (Name)," he pulls you into a hug, his own tears running free. He really scared you this time. It was a close call. "It's okay, I'm okay. I'm here."

He shushes you gently, guilt spreading through his chest at the distress he's caused you. His job is always going to cause you to worry, the only thing he can do is try his best to come home to you at the end of the day.

(Requests)

[heretherebedork]

I wish I could save Yotha from his own family. He cares so damn much and just wants the people around him to feel loved and be safe. I also cannot believe this show put poor Faifa in the spot of having to defend a mother who raised him but didn't even remember he was allergic to milk. And then the show just... tells us she did what she was trying to do and she did it all right and she loved Yotha SO MUCH that she had to abandon him, don't you see? I would also like to rescue Faifa from his family.

But, like, she says she made the wrong decisions but still has no idea her son was allergic to milk and doesn't seem to care that she doesn't know or that she openly admits to loving one of her sons so much that she knew she'd never try to visit the rest of her family if she'd moved with him. Faifa even knows that she loves Yotha more than him and that she chose him despite that and that he spent all of his life chasing after a love that was never and could never be his.

... And the whole point of this is that Yotha is supposed to just... forgive her? He has every right to be angry and every reason to be angry and Faifa has even better ones.

She took him with her and then sent him away and doesn't remember his allergies and Yotha is mad for him because he deserves someone to be mad for him, to be mad that he doesn't get the same love and care. He deserves to have someone on his side, who protects him and makes sure he's safe and he deserves that anger, damnnit.

He is with all his brothers and his mother and he is still alone and he is still aching and he seeks the love he didn't get from her from everyone else in his life with such absolute desperation it breaks my heart and shatters it into pieces.

[gangstalkerbarbie]

Yes, you don't owe anyone your time and intimacy. These things are freely given to people whose company you enjoy. They're not a reward for performing the mechanical actions of courtship correctly, they're a logical consequence of two people mutually liking one another on a profound human level. Courtship is a game between two people who already like each other, and the thing is that there is no reward, the reward is getting to spend socially sanctioned time together that could lead into nesting and raising children. The win condition of dating is a pair bond capable of weathering life and maybe sustaining childrearing, which for most people involves sex because it's fun, bonding and is what leads to children. The win condition of dating is not mechanical sex for mechanical sex's own sake.

The thing that progresses dating into greater seriousness is therefore also not a kiss, not a handy, nothing — you can do all of that with whoever you're dating, I don't care, but call me a boomer idk, the period of time that you're in love is supposed to be safe and fun for both parties. The progression of a relationship is about trust, which dies instantly the second dating is no longer both fun and safe.

If feeling safe and having fun does not, in your heart of hearts, include being alone together or handies or head for you (and let's be honest with ourselves, it often doesn't, no one really thinks these kinds of risks to her reputation and human value are fun and safe; when girls engage in these behaviours it's because they live in a bizarro world where for some reason horny boys are allowed to set the rules of mate choice and girls are taught to value being wanted above anything else), that should be respected. If it isn't, stop dating this person.

Lack of willingness to respect women's nonconsent (and telling you not to be a prude is, in fact, disrespect) leads to rape, which used to often lead to children out of wedlock whose lives were doomed to be miserable, which is why so many patriarchal cultures wrote not being in private with unwed women into ritual or customary law and usually tied in metaphysics.

Even back then, people knew that rape can be a profound sociological trauma with very far-reaching consequences and wanted to keep their children from experiencing it, and their grandchildren from living whatever life these circumstances gave them. Not everyone alive in a prevailing social climate agrees with it, but they do all know what the consequences are for acting like it doesn't exist.

And after marriage too, you may not always have the right to say no, but on principle you deserve it just by existing as a human being. No still means no even with a ring on it.

I would (and I have) stop talking to a guy even at the implication of any entitlement to sex; in my culture it's normal to be a virgin until 24 or older nowadays, because marriage is a very long commitment, and sex is always a risk for the woman, and no shit she has the right to discretion. If he wants to gently try to wheedle or pressure you into sex while you're still reasonably in the public eye as a distinct person now, imagine what he'll do when you're married, you're in private together with no witnesses all the time, and his grandma thinks he's entitled to it!

He's not entitled to fuck or damn, but marital rape is much harder to get any recourse for than rape, comma, vanilla (which itself is the farthest thing from a picnic), and not everyone who blogs on the internet has a right to no-fault divorce. Universally applicable advice: either the man you're with is capable of understanding that no means no, or you just don't get into that position with him to begin with. If he has bad vibes, don't give him a chance, leave. If he says or does some weird shit, don't give him the benefit of the doubt, leave. You are always morally in the right for leaving and telling everyone about why.

There may be very little you can do once you're too far in — I'm not saying you shouldn't have the right to leave a bad marriage, I'm saying a lot of people wake up one day to find they don't — so if at all you can choose whether you end up in that position, do everything in your power not to.

There should, also, in principle be standards you should be able to hold men to. Leave if they refuse to be held to standards; they do believe in standards even if they claim not to, just standards only for you. You want the guys that believe sincerely in standards for everyone that you also believe in.

They will be hard to find because their path is thankless and often also considered to be cringe or even juvenile (because very young boys don't know they're supposed to want to hurt women yet, not wanting to hurt women is widely perceived as naive, feminine or infantile among men), but it's the only way to safely be heterosexual. If you need a man (I'm a lesbian but I have brothers I love who feel they need women, and I know full well that it is possible to feel you need a man), pick a good one.

You may be waiting until you're 30, even 40, but the good news is that gives you time to make nesting money and learn who you are, so, you know, different time periods, different priorities.

Secrets of the mothers of Israel or whatever, special for Tumblr: make good choices about your box and hold the men in your life to standards. Otherwise they will make up bad one-sided standards to hold you to and make your stupid box choices for you.

The social coercion women face to date people they’re not attracted to is fucking insane. I remember distinctly thinking “well, I can just force myself to be attracted to him…”

Films, books, etc, all show the trope of beautiful woman and unattractive man. There is still the myth that an unattractive man will treat you better than an attractive one (more women are waking up to this, but still). Even now the left thinks that activism happens between the legs of women.

Don’t date people you’re not attracted to. Don’t feel guilty for not giving them the time of day. No means no.

[respectthepetty]

At one of the nearby-ish universities, researchers can use the lab that attaches those little pads to people's heads and see their brains light up (the sign-up list is loooong), and I always think my brain would look like fireworks going off while I watch color-coded boys fall in love because once Black Brooder Yotha said that Green Guy Gun was his boyfriend to his Blue Boy brother and Gun's Blue Boy best friend in Perfect 10 Liners' sixteenth episode, I'm sure my brain stayed lit!

Even when I saw Yellow Yal Arm and Red Rascal Arc not in their colors, my brain wanted to shut off right here, but I think Arc's shirt has yellow highlight over the text (for his man), and every time I see that Manchester United poster, -I- see red from my rage, so I guess I'll make the colors happen with or without the show giving them to me.

But Sam makes up for it since he has consistently been a Red Rascal in the second portion of the show, always popping up to talk shit and bounce, and it appears Arm is wearing a light yellow, so my brain is, once again, lighting up!

However, I wish we would have gotten more of the other color-coded friends since we don't get enough Orange Oddities (Book) or Pink People (Franc) in BLs. But I know every story is going to have the Blue Boys (Kong AND FAIFA!!!!)

I won't be too mad at it though because, as I've mentioned every single week, this show's color coding is just so damn good, so my brain is always lighting up. Like these are the exact faces a jovial Green Guy and a mean Black Brooder would make. Perfect faces. Perfect colors. Perfect 10 Liners.

Even Faifa's rage is perfect!

Because even though Faifa's dark blue shirt is telling him to "Seize" the day and "Just trust yourself then you will know how to live," as a sign of the dark Blue Boy coming his way, he can't see his own happy ending when he is listening to Gun say stupid shit like "Love makes you tiny." I'd also be plotting murder if I was him.

COLOR-CODED BOYS IN LOVE ARE DISGUSTING(LY ADORABLE)!

Random: Someone at GMMTV likes puppy play because every single show has some aspect of it, so good for that person getting everything they wanted!

Because I got matching birthday ties! So Yotha got matching binary tattoos with Wa, but he has matching bracelets and ties with his current boyfriend cementing that Yotha is an emo who likes sentimental gifts.

Emo Black Brooders in love are the best!

I'm not going to get over that there was a whole ass Pink Person and Orange Oddity in this portion of Color-Coded Boys The Series, and I know minimal information about them.

But thank goodness I know everything about these two yin yang colored boys!

Because they are meant for each other. They are toxic AND in love!

They fight just so they can have make-up sex.

Good for those beautiful bastards!

That could never be these two color-coded boys though.

Gun doesn't understand anger or foregoing sleep in favor of sex unlike these other color-coded boys.

Good for him!

And the more light Blue Boy Faifa cries about not having someone, the more I scream that he is about to meet his match in dark Blue Boy Wine. Newton is going to hate BOTH his brothers.

Now Yotha and Gun are putting on matching pajamas just to take them off the way God and Arm intended.

Have I mentioned how happy my brain is about color-coded boys in love? Because I'm very happy about color-coded boys in love being there for each other when they have to deal with big emotions.

Even more so when they are color-coded brothers who yell at each other that "You're too pessimistic" and " You're too optimistic" since the colors only emphasize those points!

Newton remains neutral, the dad is blue, and the mom is pink. This is Heterosexuality 101, which is why Yotha and Faifa do not comprehend it.

Yes! Keep saying this Gun! Keep reminding me that the people who worked behind the scenes on this show deserve a raise! Keep saying you bring light to this Black Brooder's dark world!

Because your shirt will explicitly state it later ("Sunshine on my Mind")

All is right in the world. Everyone is in the color, and Yotha got jokes.

AND ARM AND ARC ARE FINALLY IN THEIR COLORS TOO!

Thank God for small miracles and color-coded boys in love.

NOW BRING ME MY LAPIS LADS!

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Weekend Ramblings

GelBoys Episode 1

Great first episode. I like that they're using public transport and walking outside a lot, it feels more alive and realistic even if I have no real frame of reference. I like that the nails are telling the passage of time and this is going fast. The first episode spanned 3 months at least judging from that, probably more.The visuals are really good and I really like the editing, and the way it's shot almost makes me feel like I'm watching a documentary. Seems like this will be messy and angsty teenagers kinda bl and I'm ready.

Perfect 10 Liners Episode 16

I'm still comfortable in my hypocrisy and will use this gif whenever it suits me. Cause Faifa is me, in any other show but this one.

There's something about a brooder begrudgingly falling for the ray of sunshine he swore he’d never need, that I just adore. Add to that the fact that the brooder is played by Perth and I'm in uni bl heaven. I loved this arc so damn much. These two make such an adorable couple and Perth and Santa are great together. I'm surprised with their chemistry but also not, cause I think both of them can probably have chemistry with anyone. If they stay a pair for now I'm on board. Although I do enjoy seeing Perth kissing different boys. We had another parental forgiveness moment which I hate but at least she's moving away and I won't have to see her again. I love Faifa and as much as I hate saying goodbye to YothaGun, it's gonna be fun to watch him and Wine. I do hope just like ArcArm, I still get some crumbs from those two.

Boy Next World Episode 6

Say what you will about Mame but she can deliver a sex scene like no one else. I like that Phu has agency here and that there's real communication happening around and during the nc scenes. Boss and Noeul also deliver as usual but I find the dynamic a little too similar to LITA, and I don't love that. I think it happens more when it comes to Noeul, although I concede that I'm often too distracted by Boss's face to notice much of anything at all, but there are moments that I'm seeing Rain instead of Phu. Fake dating seems to be the go-to these days to keep psychos away and I'm not mad about it. That mother though. His stalking tendencies notwithstanding, it’s a wonder Cir is a functioning human at all. I really like the sides and I adore Jin.

Sangmin Dinneaw Episode 7

This show continues to be the weirdest. And I don't know what I did to deserve this but I think I got a double prize today. Amnesia plot my beloathed and some noble idiocy to follow. At least when it comes to the amnesia we were warned. Although I'm not sure when he actually remembered, so he might not have had amnesia at all. Honestly, who knows with this show? Half the time, I have no idea what's happening, and the other half, I wish I didn't. That scene with the sides gave us the usual whiplash, and the scene with the mother was just insane. It's psycho mom's day, apparently. At least with this one, we got to see some mom-on-mom fighting. It's all bonkers but at least there's only one more episode to go. Sangmin better have a damn good reason for leaving, although I doubt it. At least let me have some fluff from these two, cause they are cute. Also why is the hotel dude still breathing?

[ecoterrorist-katara]

hi! curious as to what you think about the comparison of aang giving up cosmic energy for katara and percy rejecting immortality for annabeth? i genuinely do not think they are the same because percabeth knew each other for years and gradually evolved from friends to lovers, in which their feelings were mutual. most importantly, him rejecting immortality did not have any negative bearing on the future of the world. as for aang, he gave up the avatar state, which he needed to save the world/defeat ozai. he risked it because of his obsession with katara, who at the time did not reciprocate his feelings at all.

hi! I agree that Percy rejecting immortality comes across as very romantic because, well, he already saved the world! Plus he was able to leverage his rejection of immortality to help people like him. That said, while I don't find the cosmic energy arc in ATLA romantic, I can't find it in myself to blame Aang in-universe. It's one of those "damn this kid is 12, he's lost everything, and I can't believe he has to make these decisions" moments of the show that made me feel super bad for him, and even if I disagree with his choice I understand why he made it.

However! I do have a HUGE problem with the arc, and it lies entirely with how the writers made Katara a damsel. They never gave Aang the opportunity to see Katara as another hero, like him.

Katara is not a Chosen One like Aang, but she still chose to be a hero. In episode 1, Katara chooses to stand up for Aang against her community. A few episodes later, she gets herself tossed into prison to free Haru and earthbenders. She demonstrates again and again that she's not worried about her own safety, as long as she's doing the right thing and protecting others.

There's a bit of dramatic irony in Crossroads of Destiny where Aang has this vision of Katara struggling in chains and looking every inch the damsel...meanwhile we the audience know that Katara is alive and well and yelling at Zuko. Then Aang goes off to save her, only for her to save him instead. He has that moment of “I’m sorry Katara” where he tries to access the Avatar State, implying that he’s letting her go, as if this is a decision about him — as if the decision to save Katara was about Aang’s attachment to her, rather than their shared values.

Even after the Ba Sing Se scare, it never seemed to occur to Aang to ask Katara what she would have wanted, and I assume this is because it never crossed the writers' minds that Katara is anything but a character development object for Aang when it comes to their romance. Would Katara be willing to sacrifice her own safety so that Aang can defeat Ozai? Uh, yes, least of all because she's scrappy and she would've figured something out to save herself (recall this was neither the first nor the last time Katara ended up in prison — is Katara the only ATLA character who’s thrown in jail every season? I think so lmao). But even if she wants Aang to let the world burn and prioritize her over his duties as the Avatar, the point is that she deserves a say.

Katara will presumably one day need to choose between love and duty. These are supposed to be shared burdens when two heroes love each other. Sokka and Suki, a secondary ship, got a whole arc where Sokka learns he doesn't have to save Suki because she has agency and she also wants to save him! But what did Ka/taang get? Nothing of the kind. It’s not clear if Katara even knows that Aang was about to give up the Avatar State for her, because they never talk about it!

I think other people have talked at length about how in ATLA, Katara is her own character and her own person with her own journey...except when she’s written as Aang’s love interest. The cosmic energy/Avatar State fiasco is another example of that.

[hungermakesmonsters]

Just want to take a moment to congratulate you on 500 followers! You absolutely deserve it and more! I love your ideas and your writing. Can I request a blurb with a headstrong reader who is always used to fixing things herself but Billy just wants to take care of her? I like the idea of PA reader, kinda like Donna & Harvey in Suits! Maybe something like reader gets “stood up” by an Anvil client whose interest in you got Billy clear on how he feels and jealous on someone else seeing your worth?

I used to love Suits... but I never finished watching it so I don't know what happened with the whole Darvey situation but I LOVED their dynamic in the first few seasons of the show (and also just how weird and awkward it was when Max Beesley's character was going out for Donna for a while). So, yeah, this was definitely fun to write and I hope I've managed to catch enough of the awesome Donna energy in the reader character here! (Also now I'm going to have to start watching Suits again)

Don't Have to Say You Love Me

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : M 

Warnings : [This is 18+ only, minors DNI] Smutty behaviour.  

You placed his coffee and lunch down in front of him, immediately drawing his attention upwards.

"Is that —"

"A large flat white and a toasted BLT with extra sauce," you said, knowing full well how he liked to take his lunch on a Friday. By this point you were almost offended that he dared to ask.

"And have you got —"

"The research on the Collins account and the two government contracts Senator Williams wants to discuss," you interrupted as you pulled three files from beneath your arm and placed them down.

His eyes narrowed on you, mind obvious racing, trying to find something you hadn't thought of.

"What about —"

"Yes, I've had someone from maintenance fix the AC in the meeting room because I know you don't like having the Senator in your office around the good scotch."

Everything was sorted. Everything he could possibly ask of you, and he knew why — he was just waiting for you to say it. You didn't want to have to say it, because you knew exactly what his reaction would be.

But you knew Billy Russo. You knew how fucking stubborn he could be.

It'd probably amuse him to keep you standing there all day like a lemon.

After a few seconds you let out a huff.

"You do remember that I'm leaving early today, right?" You asked, drawing attention to the elephant in the room.

You weren't even sure why Billy was so annoyed that you'd gone and gotten yourself a date — he was stringing along half the women in New York, so why did it matter that you'd finally found someone who was interested in you?

"Right, how could I forget?" He said and you could hear the disdain in his voice. "I still can't believe you're going out with Thompson."

"Why not?" You asked, really not in the mood for his snarky behaviour. You both knew each other better than that.

"He just so —"

"Rich?" You offered. "Handsome? British?"

"Boring. He's not right for you, he doesn't deserve you."

You rolled your eyes. "And what would you know about what's right for me, Billy?"

The question was met with the expected silence. You'd long since given up on any fancy notion of him actually seeing you or admitting to the undeniable tension that had permeated your relationship since you first started working for him years ago.

What had once been a will they, would they, could they, had be stamped with a big red absolutely not by him and his inaction.

"Enjoy your date," he said, like he was driving the final nail into the coffin.

You couldn't remember exactly what you told him as you left his office, but it didn't matter. The pair of you argued, you always had. You'd made it clear from the start that, just because you were his PA, you weren't there to take any of his shit. You did your job and you were damned good at it — he was lucky to have you, lucky that you still wanted to work for him when there were so many other firms that would love to have you.

But you were loyal if you had one fault. Endlessly loyal when it came to Anvil and when it came to Billy Russo.

The one thing you weren't, however, was an idiot. Davis Thompson was funny, charming and rich, and sure, you might have met him through work, but you at least owed it to yourself to see where it would go.

And, where it went, as it turned out, was absolutely nowhere.

You'd been stood up before — you were a big girl, getting snubbed by a man who couldn't even bother to text was not going to end your world. (Though it might give you the urge to key his car the next time he had a meeting at Anvil.)

You got to the bar early, and you waited.

And waited.

You ordered yourself a drink, and you waited.

You gave up on him showing, but you decided to have another glass of wine because, why not? And, while you were making bad decisions, you decided to add another to the list and text Billy.

Don't go getting smug, but you were right.

It took less than a minute for his reply to come through.

He bored you that much already?

You found yourself smiling, even as you rolled your eyes.

Didn't even show up.

Despite feeling somewhat embarrassed, you knew that Billy wasn't on the other end of the phone laughing at you. He wasn't like that. Not when it came to you. (He was probably planning on keying Thompson's car too now.)

You put your phone down on the bar and ordered another drink, only half-surprised when it didn't buzz with another message from Billy. It was fine. It was Friday, he was probably busy on a date of his own. You had your wine, you were happy, you'd maybe have one more, then —

"Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?"

In any other circumstances the bad pick-up line would have had you seriously considering throwing your drink, but you recognised the voice immediately and before you could even turn your head, Billy Russo was sitting at the bar beside you.

"Please tell me you've never used that line on a woman you actually wanted to sleep with," you said, barely biting back a laugh.

"I have," he answered, waving down the bar tender and ordering a glass of what you were drinking.

"And did it work?"

"I'll let you know at the end of the night."

"Oh, ha ha, very funny." You rolled your eyes. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Thought you might want some company since Thompson was a no-show."

For a few seconds you were willing to accept his answer, but it didn't exactly hold up under scrutiny.

"I text you literally five minutes ago; how did you get here so quick?" You asked, eyes narrowing.

"I was in the neighbourhood?"

He almost looked sheepish, embarrassed even, and you had no idea why. A dusting of pink spread across his cheeks and, for a second, he could barely even look at you.

"Okay, what the fuck is going on?" And, then when he looked at you, you felt an unsettling feeling in you gut. "What did you do?"

You'd always been good at reading him, at seeing right through him. And, right then, he had the look of a guilty man struggling to explain himself.

"Don't get angry —"

"Don't ask me not to get angry if you're going to say something that makes me angry, Billy," you warned.

He took a drink. "I might have cancelled your date —"

"You did what?"

Un-fucking-believable.

Actually, no. It was entirely fucking-believable. And that was what pissed you off the most. He'd ruined your date because of — what? Some selfish sense of jealousy and entitlement, because if he didn't want you, no one else should.

You start to move, standing only to find his fingers on your wrist.

"Wait —" he started, almost sounding panicked.

"I did wait, Billy," you said, admitting far more than you ever wanted to. "I waited for years. For you. And what were you doing? Fucking half of New York."

It was the first time you'd dared utter anything of the sort aloud, the first time either of you had openly admitted to the unspoken, unacted-upon feelings between you.

You tugged against his grip on you, but Billy held tight as you struggled against him.

"Let me go," you said.

"No," Billy answered, getting to his feet, standing in front of you. "I'm not letting you go again."

Before you could even think to question what the fuck he meant, his lips were on yours and your whole world seemed to come to a screeching halt. For a few sweet seconds, you were frozen, indulging in something you'd barely allowed yourself to dream about, but how could you trust it? How could you trust him when he was only kissing you because he'd been jealous, because he'd thought you were finally going to find happiness with someone else.

You pulled back from the kiss, enough to see the flicker of hurt in his eyes and the worry on his face.

"This better not be a game, Billy," you warned him. "I'm not one of your girls that you can pick up and drop whenever you —"

He cut you off with another kiss, his arm winding around you waist and pulling you against him. And you let him. You allowed yourself to melt into the warmth of his body, you fingers gripping his shirt at his waist, just beneath his jacket.

"No more games," he muttered against your lips. "I can't lose you. I won't. I'm sick of pretending that I don't want you — that I don't love you."

Your heart stuttered, knowing the weight that that word bore for Billy. He'd never used it when talking about any of the other women, and you knew it wasn't the sort of thing he'd say without meaning it.

Still, you couldn't bring yourself to say it back. Not yet, not when some part of you still ached over his treatment of you.

"Take me home," you said, daring to hope that this wasn't just some pipe dream that would vanish the moment he'd had you in his bed.

Not that you made it as far as his bed.

He'd taken you by the hand a pulled you out of the bar, into the cold New York air — his car was park a block over, it should have been a quick, short walk if it hadn't been for you pulling him back for another kiss. Then, before either of you could think, you found yourself in an alleyway, pressed back against a wall as Billy kissed you.

Years of tension quickly came to the fore, your fingers gripping his jacket, his shirt, his hair — anything you could get hold of, anything you could use to keep him close. And all the while, he kissed you. You couldn't get enough of him.

Things quickly reached boiling point, your fingers tugging at the fastenings of his pants while he lifted your dress. There was no slow build, no teasing foreplay, once you'd freed his cock, you found yourself lifted and —

"Fuck," you moaned against his lips, "fuck, fuck, fuck — Billy."

He buried himself inside you in a single fluid movement, stopping when every inch of him was hilted.

His forehead pressed against yours as you both stilled, already breathless, and both entirely overwhelmed.

"Billy," you said in a low whine, your fingers gripping his hair.

His eyes opened and he looked at you through the gloom of the alley.

"I love you," he said softly, like he'd finally realised the gravity of the situation.

He started to move with slow but deep thrusts, not quite making love to you, but doing all he could to show you that this meant something. He alternated between kissing your lips and your neck, and you found yourself leaning into his every touch as pleasure started to coil inside you.

Your legs tightened around his waist, keeping him close, never wanting to let him go. And when you came it was with four little words.

"I love you too."

[schattenmagier]

The mage looks interested at the tattoo's after Russell had pulled up his sleeve. It were rather simple designs, and so cool in her opinion. And on the wrist even! That surely had hurt a lot! She also listened to what he said of course, before she smiles.

" Zhat's so cool! And zhey are so pretty! But damn! On zhe wrist must have hurt a lot! And yeah! Let no one tell you vhat to do vith your skin, heh! "

Still, if she looked back on it now, it hadn't been her best idea... And she would choose something different now as well than a tattoo that had no meaning besides 'I thought it looked cool' choosen by a rebellious and stupid teen.

" Zhen I might come by sometime! Always love to try coffee's and cakes from different places! "

Lilli simply nods along then as he told her that people had been into some game. She hasn't played that one, but she did see it on the app store! Besides, he said everyone is welcome, so she doubted it will be a problemt that she isn't exactly into games.

" Vell. Mundane isn't always bad! And I'm glad you don't have to deal with that many rude customers. And vhat? Just because you asked zhat? Such a bitch! "

She knows customers like that. Thinking they can let out their bad mood on others. Russell surely didn't deserve that!

" I hope you didn't take zhat to heart! And I hope you zhrow her out! Because zhreatening you? Really? Some people have nerves... "

Russell felt a little bit of relief when he heard Lilli chuckle at the joke. At least that had come off as funny rather than annoying, given that it seemed like something Lewis would have said.

"Oh, s-sure," Russell said. At least he didn't have to be so self-conscious about his arms anymore. He took a moment to pull his right sleeve up so that Lilli could see.

Sure enough, there was the simple but clean design of Lyra on his inner wrist, right next to another one of Canis Major.

"S-Sirius was, um, heh, one of the, the first stars I, I ever learned about. It's, it's the brightest star in, in Canis Major so I uh, I wanted to get that, that on, on my wrist too."

Of course, he had Libra on his left wrist. But he wasn't going to show it unless Lilli asked.

"That's, that's a real, a real good way to, to see it. Th-thank you, Lilli. I'll, I'll remember that," Russell said then, "Hey, as, as long as, as you're happy with it, that's, that's the main thing. It's, it's your skin. You, you can dec-decorate it how, how you want."

But then he nodded.

"Everyone is, is welcome. If, if you want a, a drink, a, a sweet treat, someone to, to chat to. Most, most people in, in there are, are pretty friendly," Russell said, "And hey, n-nothing wrong with, with that. If, if you enjoy it, that's, that's always the main thing. I, I know some people at, at the cafe have been re-really into Archero 2 late-lately."

Maybe he could give that one a try.

"Oh that's, that's good to, to hear in that case," Russell said, "I'm glad it, it works out in, in that case, and that, that you enjoy it too. Nah don't, don't worry. Working in, in a cafe does seem a, a bit, heh, a bit mundane compared to, to that. Heh, yeah, that, that is true."

Russell rubbed at the back of his neck briefly with his left hand.

"Luckily, the, the ruder customers are, are few and, and far between. Although I, I did have one subtly threat-threaten me just because I, I uh, heh, I asked what she liked doing when, when she wasn't, when she wasn't working."

And that had really shaken him due to other stuff that had been going on.

[drenched-in-sunlight]

people bending over backwards to scream Marika never loved Messmer when he alone has more blessings personally bestowed by her than any other demigods combined are so funny to me. also the fact that it's implied he used to live in Leyndell too 😂😂

also she killed an entire god herself and made sure said God is called all manner of names and depict as ugly forever. for him 😂😂

[sleeptokenpuppy]

my tags

drift's tags

the tags drift was referring to

the thing about loving sleep token is that you can tell he's Been Through Some Shit if those are the lyrics he writes. you see clips of him trembling and weeping as he performs and you know those songs mean so so much to him. they mean so much to you too.

then eventually you see old clips, where he's young, and he's Going Through It, and your heart breaks even more.

but you look at those old clips knowing something he doesn't.

you know he's going to make it.

you know he's going to survive what he's going through, build a loyal following over the years, become your favorite metal band's favorite metal band, and then go fucking viral.

sell out wembley. play red rocks and radio city. open for linkin fucking park on their comeback tour. in fucking paris!

you know he's going to change lives. save lives, even if he won't take credit for it.

at that point, he definitely doesn't know that yet.

at that point, you can see he's struggling. you can sit here in 2024 and look back on baby vessel - and we call him baby vessel, i think, not just because he's so much younger there, but because there's a specifically youthful sort of pain so visible in him in that era.

and it just...

i remember how that youthful pain feels, and the uncertainty of self that comes with it. if you went through shit when you were younger, you know it too.

he means so much to you that you wish with all your might you could soothe that pain the way he soothed yours.

[skarkkk]

It was fucking rape. That's my fucking point of view.

What do you mean he liked it? What do you mean it was cheating? What do you mean I like her?

It was rape, there is no other interpretation other than rape.

Robby lived with two addicts and yet he was abandoned in a bar with free access to alcohol, and that's where it started.

He got drunk for the first time, he drank for the first time and he has no resistance to alcohol because he stays away as best he can for the simple fact that his parents were addicts who never cared about him. So he wanted to forget what was happening, to repress all of this and he turned to alcohol because where else would he go when everyone didn't give a damn about him, or his situation with Tory or his emotions? Where else was he supposed to go when his example of dealing with emotions is aggression and addiction? So he drank. He drank to a level where he couldn't formulate a response, a sentence, when Kwon came to talk to him and provoke him, and we know that if he was sober he would have done something. It was obvious on his own face listening to Kwon that he was spaced out, drunk, and then Zara approached him. And took him to her room, from where he came out the next morning. No memory of the night before, a headache, and still looking out of it, as we can see when she kissed him and he didn't even react to it. The level of alcohol this requires is the level of alcohol that prevents someone from giving consent.

— I barely remember last night

— Good thing I do

Can we see the exact connotation that something happened? That she actually took advantage of the boy who couldn't speak to give consent, who couldn't think to say no, who was too drunk for this to be acceptable? The fact that she shows no remorse whatsoever for this happening and yet kisses him again.

Besides the fact that the writers themselves are treating it like it's some kind of cheating with Tory, the characters themselves acting like he's not a vulnerable person being raped by someone who knows better?

I hate her and I hate the writers for making this like it's nothing. I don't want to be that girl, but being that girl, if the roles were reversed, would this be in the show? Would this be treated that way? Or would they actually treat it like the SA situation that it is?

From the beginning, you can see her interest in Robby - starting with that scene in the captains' photo shoot where she talks to Tory. She knows he's in a relationship. All those teasing scenes with Tory. Her taking advantage of Robby. Then the fight scene.

— You chose her over me?

Like, girl, what the fuck did you expect? He doesn't know you, he doesn't like you, you raped him and you're going after his girlfriend - the person he loves? How high is your ego to even consider that he would choose you? Axel's obsession with Sam I can understand more, although I still have my doubts. She was the first person to understand and see his situation with his sensei, she was friendly and he developed a protectiveness towards her. Although his attitude towards Miguel was wrong, he didn't rape Sam or act like a bitch towards her.

Iron Dragons and their obsession with the Miyagi-Do captains.

Zara Malik and the fact that she raped Robby Keene.

[chaimachi]

Noiz's Neurodivergence

I recently started playing DMMD and just finished Noiz's route. As I played and learned more about Noiz it struck me that he came off as extremely neurodivergent coded. The more I thought about his route, the more I realized how it really strongly reflects neurodivergent individuals and their struggles in society. The thought has kind of overtaken my brain space, so I've decided to yap about it some and make an semi-analysis post.

A few notes:

Personally, I came away reading him as autistic, but if you read him as ADHD/ADD, AuDHD, or neurodivergent in other ways, that's fair! For generality I'll stick to using neurodivergent here.

I'm basisng this on my own knowledge and experiences, if these don't match your experiences, you disagree, or would like to add something that's okay and please do! I'm interested in conversing with others about this topic and would love to see other opinions.

If I use incorrect/outdated or offensive language please let me know. I don't want to harm anyone with my words, but if I do please let me know so I can correct it.

I haven't read or played re:connect yet, so I won't be including information from there. While writting most of this I also hadn't finished Ren's route yet either, so I won't include information from there!

Why I think Noiz is Neurodivergent I'll admit, Noiz was not my favorite character during the shared/general route scenes. He came off as a brat, a character archetype I'm not too fond of. Don't get me wrong, I still think he's a brat, but more of a loveable brat now.

It wasn't until I entered Platinum Jail and his route in honest that I started to realize he displayed neurodivergent traits. The first time it crossed my mind was when he was in Glitter with Aoba and suddenly swapped topics, asking if Aoba was hungry. The tonal shift was absolutely jarring. Jarring to the point that, coupled with Aoba's response and Noiz's own nonchalance, I realized he wasn't trying to aggressively change the topic. He literally just got carried away by an intrusive thought. He realized he was hungry, and just jumped on that train of thought and got carried away with it. This moment was like a lightbulb for me, I was "Oh, he's got ADD."

Suddenly, Noiz's character started making so much more sense to me. He's got intrusive thoughts, he literally follows a conversation at his own flow, which Aoba finds hard to follow at times. He has his own leaps in logic, something you commonly hear about neurotypical individuals trying to understand, how neurodivergent individuals can jump from one topic to another. Noiz suddenly saying he's hungry and then just leaving while Aoba is standing there gobsmacked mirrors one of these interactions so strongly. To Noiz him being hungry and acting on it makes sense, meanwhile Aoba is left wondering what just happened and annoyed. Looking back at several of his conversations in the general route, I get an entirely different feel for him and several things click into place. He's not purposefully ignoring Aoba when he broke into Aoba's room (he's still capable of doing it, because he's still a brat when he wants to be), instead Noiz is just following the conversation at his own pace, resulting in Aoba finding the flow of the conversation strange.

Moving along to the food trucks, we see Noiz going around buying all kinds of food. He's like a kid in a candy store, literally. He's so interested in these different types of food in front of him that he's going wild buying them all, showing how he's chasing a dopamine rush but also somewhat lacks impulse control. His impulse control with money could be a side effect of or just further exacerbated by being rich, but I think could be a neurodivergent trait for him. Especially because Aoba himself mentions that Noiz is buying more food than one person could possibly eat, and we never hear about Noiz himself eating more than an average individual. Noiz is just so captivated by all the kinds of food offered that he buys without thinking about how much he can feesibly eat. Later on in the fist fights we see him just diving right in without thinking of the danger or getting hurt, but this is also related to his lack of care for himself or getting hurt. Ultimately the impulsivity is there, and while it could stem from other external influences, to me it comes off as a sign of neurodivergency for Noiz.

For me, the moment that made a lightbulb go off and I realized Noiz was neurodivergent (autistic in my interpretation) was when he mentioned just living off delivery pizza and pasta. At this moment I put my head in my hands and just whispered "oh he is autistic." It was such a simple statement, but when I learned he was okay eating the same things day after day, I couldn't help but equate it to how neurodivergent individuals can have food preferences where they prefer to eat the same food repeatedly. Now, Noiz doesn't mention any texture issues, actually he seems to love trying other foods. But he does say he has lived on pizza and pasta for years, which makes me feel like it is a comfort to him because it is simple to obtain/make and he knows it tastes good. It's such a simple moment/statement, but that really helped Noiz's neurodivergence click into place for me, because while not a one to one similarity of a common associated trait it reminded me of a commonly discussed trait.

From here on, I recontextualized a lot of Noiz's own personality traits and it all just seemed to fit together so well. Heck, one of his positive choice options hit a personal note with me. He shows a strong dislike for being interrupted while he's engrossed in work, he does not enjoy or tolerate his concentration being broken, a trait I find quite relatable. All of this together made me realize he has issues communicating with others and understanding social cues. Yes, he is a standoffish brat but he also just has no clue how to properly communicate and read the room.

For his inability to read social cues we have scenes like Noiz kissing Aoba out of the blue and not understanding why Aoba finds it weird. His social normalcy can even differ from the reader, at times, he seems pretty chill for just barging into Aoba's house or job and then having Aoba follow his lead. This isn't even touching on how he seems so distanced from any form of "normal" physical affection such as kissing or sex. Normally I'd say, okay these don't have to really mean anything, but when you juxtapose it against Aoba's (or even Mio's) reaction, it just drives home that his definition of social normalcy and theirs are completely different. He also, y'know seems completely unable to realize that people can just care, taking genuine concern and turning it transactional. I'd also like to highlight how Noiz seems good at making eye contact, until you strip him of his own armor forged of stubborness, then we see him glance away. He doesn't start avoiding eye contact after that, but I did find it interesting that he displayed yet another commonly associaed neurodivergent trait only when finally showing some of his true feelings.

This doesn't even include his own sensitivity to touch/pain. That was another trait that seemed to hint at neurodivergence, a lack of sensitivity to pain has been debated as a neurodivergent trait, however it is known that individuals can suffer from either hyper- or hyposensitivity. I feel like Noiz just can be put in the latter category.

One last bit I'd like to mention is his hyper-focus/obsessive interest in Rhyme, especially after losing to Aoba. I'll discuss Rhyme a bit more later though! Mostly I'd like to point out how his issues with losing could be interpreted as rejection sensitivity almost. I'd also like to propose Rhyme and his overall stubborness as an attempt at masking, not showing his weakness or problems. He intentionally was trying to seem like a standoffish brat instead of letting his inability to understand humans show. But in truth, he wasn't a standoffish asshole, he just didn't know how to communicate and connect with others. And this becomes a core theme for him as his route progresses.

The Struggle to Connect with Others

Noiz's primary psychological struggle is his inability to understand others (because he can't feel pain) and make meaningful connections as a result.

He repeatedly mentions how he doesn't understand Aoba wanting to help him just because Aoba cares about him as a person. While this is also because he's been used for his money and other reasources, that doesn't change his core issue of how he can't understand people. How he has been unable to truly connect with anyone since he was young, leading him to a life of loneliness and being even more unable to understand and connect with others.

His struggle resonates strongly with me on how at times neurodivergent individuals struggle to understand the reasoning behind rules/actions or connect with other people and maintain relationships. I see his struggle, his suffering because he is existing in a world that is not made to help him with individuals who are unable to help him learn to adapt or cope. So instead, he makes his own defense/coping mechanisms and attempts to mask to the best of his ability. He belives everything is transactional, that life is all about give and take. He uses stubborness and aggression as a shield. He'd rather have his wound bleed out and get infected than have another person care for him.

Looking back at Rhyme, it is his hyperfocus. Hyperfocusing on Rhyme makes it almost like Noiz's life line, his safe space. Rhyme is the the one thing that he feels like he can use to connect with others (even if he is still lonely standing at the top). That's why his loss to Aoba shakes him so hard, because his safe space had been intruded upon. If he's not the strongest in Rhyme, if he's not the strongest and loses, then the mask and shields that he so carefully crafted will begin crumbling down. If he can't be the strongest in a world where he's on an even playingfield with others, where he can feel pain, then how is he supposed to survive in a world where he's at a disadvantage. It's Noiz's struggle to live in a world not made for him, where he's at a disadvantage and tries but fails to comprehend others that makes me relate his story so strongly to neurodivergence. It's seeing Noiz get up, and even though he still does not fully understand, decide he'll treat Aoba's burn injury that makes me find his story compelling. His story shows that he can survive in the world, that he can come to terms more with his own inability to experience similar situations. But he can't do it alone, he needs help by his side and I think Aoba does a wonderful job of supporting Noiz.

Aoba spends the route trying to understand Noiz, and when he realizes Noiz's struggle, he doesn't berate him. Instead, Aoba extends kindness and warmth to Noiz. If Noiz struggles to understand, then Aoba won't berate him, instead he'll try to help Noiz. He'll help Noiz learn to connect to other people and not be alone. Aoba was willing to do this before he even helped Noiz gain the sensation of touch, which I think is a beautiful message. Aoba shows an inherent kindness towards Noiz and also promotes Noiz learning healthy coping mechanisms instead of staying behind his crudly made stubborness. To me, Aoba represents a world/individual that tries to adapt for neurodivergent individuals, helping them to understand and survive in life. Aoba saying he'll teach Noiz pain, he doesn't mean physically he means helping Noiz learn and process his emotions. He wants to show Noiz that the world isn't terrible, that there are people who will accept him despite his differences and help him find a way to survive in the world. Which brings me to Noiz's good ending.

Noiz's Good End: Abelist or a Lesson on Acceptance and Coping?

When I first got his good end, I was left with a slightly bitter taste in my mouth. Noiz learned how to feel pain and other sensations, he lost the main reason behind his inability to understand and connect with others. This was done through Aoba using Scrap, so at first I was left finding it to be a "magic cure" for the core issues that made him readable as neurodivergent. I was left feeling disappointed, like the game was telling me Noiz's neurodivergent traits were bad and that he needed to be "fixed." Overall, Noiz gaining sensation, losing the barrier that made his life harder just soured the excellent writing of his route for me.

But then, I rolled the ending around in my head more. I realized personality wise, Noiz hadn't changed. He does come off as more open and emotive, but I think it's safe to say those feelings were always there. He just now feels comfortable enough to let his guard down and show them to others. The only thing that had changed was Aoba showing Noiz acceptance, being the first person in his life truly capable of extending a hand and offering that acceptance to him. I thought more about Scrap and how Aoba says he's destroying a part of the mind, but in all honesty this "destruction" stems from acceptance. Koujaku accepts his bloody past, Mink accepts that it is okay for him to live, and Noiz, Noiz accepts that he CAN and WANTS to connect with others even if he can't feel pain. In return, Aoba extends the exact same acceptance to his friends/romantic interests. He does not fully understand them, he can never fully relate to his friend's traumas and struggles, but he can accept them. Accept them as a part of the people he cares about, and show everytone that no matter what their past was or their struggle that he will be there for them. Honestly, Aoba is just a great friend in general due to his innate kindness.

Aoba himself is what saves me from thinking this ending is ableist in nature. Because he offers to help Noiz learn about the emotion behind pain and how to form bonds, before Noiz even gets Scrap'd. Instead of seeing Scrap as destroying Noiz's neurodivergence, I see it now as Aoba accepting Noiz, neurodivergence and all. Due to this acceptance we can finally see Noiz let down his guard, unmasking for the first time if you will. Noiz doesn't magically have a good relationship with everyone in his ending either. Instead, he starts trying to move forward and learn how to live alongside others in society. It's because Aoba was the first person who stood by Noiz and showed him the patience required to help Noiz learn how to interact and connect with others. Ultimately, that's what I think Noiz getting Scrap'd represents. It represents Noiz finally being able to move forward because he met someone who could help support him as he learns to navigate the tricky roads of social etiquette and expectations. He's found a companion who can help him understand his own emotions. Aoba represents the person who will not baby Noiz and let him get away with everything, but also shows him the understanding Noiz needs in order to learn.

Also our boy Noiz still does retain several of his neurodivergent traits. We still see him leading the conversation at his own flow while Aoba is left trying to say his piece. We see Noiz just automatically jumping to Aoba come live with me in Germany, honestly giving the vibe that he'd whisk Aoba away right that second if possible. He's still Noiz, a young adult who can be bratty and spoiled at times, but now he finally has a support system. With that support system in place, he finally feels free enough to show his true self to others. Becaue now he knows that if he fails or makes a mistake, he won't be ridiculed and locked away, but instead have a partner who can help guide him.

Overall, Noiz's route has to be my favorite in terms of writing because it deals with such a real and personal struggle that many people can relate to.

Anyways that's all from me! If you disagree and the ending still leaves a bad taste in your mouth, that is perfectly valid! I just personally wanted to look at it from another angle and give the writers the benefit of the doubt. I'd be interested in other opinions though! Thanks for reading if you did, I mostly wrote this to get rid of the brain worm, but if you read and liked it I appreciate it!

[ixcaliber]

trying to finish as much as i can off playstation plus before letting my subscription end and one of those things was the bioshock infinite burial at sea dlc and oh my fucking god what an absolutely atrotrious experience. incredibly somehow worse than bioshock infinite (a game i hold no affection for) and may be one of the worst video game experiences i've ever had.

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends | "He took the money because I forced him to. I admired him. He seemed to live a tough life. So I gave him the money. Don't be mad at him."

Over the series, Ray has harboured an obvious complex over whether Sand may be interested in him due to his wealth - a complex which funnily enough he established by offering to pay Sand to spend time with him from the get go. From the morning after they slept together, Sand makes a point of turning down Ray's money as he now deems him a friend.

Episode 11 is proof that Ray has taken to heart what Sand taught him in Episode 4 and what he has more recently come to learn in Episode 10. Ray could easily pay for Sand and all his needs, but that's not the point. Sand wants to earn his own way and to be seen as capable of doing so, without taking advantage of anyone in the process.

Ray is no longer throwing money at Sand as a means to placate or as leverage. Instead he puts his money towards supporting Sand's dreams, his passions. Intentional gifts that prioritise Sand's happiness, rather than as a gesture of frivolity or force of habit.

When Ray says "I'll pay anything for you", it's his way of saying 'this is the least I can do to take care of you when you do so much for me.' Ray may still feel like he doesn't bring much to the table, but what he can offer is his wealth. Rather than this being a point of insecurity, he can now regard it as a privilege that can be extended to Sand as stability, as support, as love. 'I know you don't need my money. But I am happy to provide for you.'