#i love you so damn you and they don't deserve you

[deathbxnny]

Maybe a part 2 of the arcane characters saying things they regret, but they're apologizing because I can't live after reading a angst 🫠

Making up with Arcane characters after a bad argument. | Vi, Caitlyn, Jinx, Ekko, Sevika x Gn!Reader

(Previous part)

Fine, fine, here is a happy part two guys. Take it as an apology for the tears and pain I've caused.✨️

Content: Swearing, accusations of cheating, slight angst, making up, fluff, potential spoilers for season 2, established romantic relationships, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not proofread))

》VI

She knew that she had fucked up. There was no way to deny or refute it either. And your absence was further proof of that.

You were always there for her, even when things got bad and she became even worse. No matter how much she yelled or drank, you were there afterward to nurture her back to health. It was so unfair of her to expect it still, after all she had said to you. She hated herself. She hated how weak and pathetic she had become. How she can't even stand straight anymore from the alcohol and couldn't win a single game since she had lost you.

And instead of Caitlyn haunting her like she used to, it was only you now. But you were crying every time. Asking her why she hated you so much. Why she couldn't care for you the way you cared for her. Why you were always the second choice despite having been there since the start.

Why, why, why.

Gritting her teeth against the headache, she made her way through the dark, familiar lanes to your small home that you once shared together. She had to talk to you. She really, really had to. Even if it's far too late now after a week of silence in-between the two of you. She had taken the time to reflect and think about everything, especially about your relationship. And it made her realise that nothing in this world was losing you too.

Knocking on your door, she nervously waited as she heard your footsteps quickly approaching her from inside. You opened the door carefully, ironically just how she had taught you, before freezing at the sight of her. She gave you a weak smile, attempting to look calm and friendly, but it still scared you off. "Hey cupca-" You tried slamming the door into her face mid greeting, but her foot was faster to jam itself in the way.

"H-Hey! Wait, please hear me out!" "Fuck off, Vi. I'm not in the mood to hear more of your bullshit. Go back to Caitlyn since I know how badly you want that!" You never cursed, and every word you spoke made her flinch. She, for some reason, didn't expect you to be this mad. But it hurt, and she deserved it. Another thing she underestimated was, unfortunately, your strength since you somehow managed to push her away and shut the door again. "Come on! Please! I... I didn't mean what I said. I just... have been losing my shit ever since what happened. The guilt is killing me, and I know it's not an excuse! You're right, I have to stop this shit! You're right, I need to stop treating your love for granted!"

She didn't know if you were even listening to her anymore, but it didn't stop the tears that burned in her eyes. "I don't give a damn about Caitlyn like that! I never did! It always you for me. You... you cared for me when no one else ever wanted to, and I was such an idiot for not appreciating it more." Her hand slammed against the wood in defeat, her head coming to rest against it as her body trembled. She was so scared of losing you. This can't be the end. "Please. Please just give me another chance to prove myself. I know I'm a fuck up but I swear I'll do better now."

Vi nearly fell right through your house entrance when you opened the door wide with a teary huff. "God, you're such an idiot... get in already before the neighbors complain." You didn't let her reply as you simply dragged her inside and locked the door again. The pitfighter watched you do so with a gentle gaze, one that felt so familiar to you. "... Fine, I'll give you another chance... but no drinking or fighting anymore. Please." You whisper to her, and she nods quickly before engulfing you in a warm hug.

She knows that she isn't fully forgiven yet, but she'll do everything in her power to prove herself worthy of your love again.

》CAITLYN

"You're still up." Caitlyn's voice was calm and gentle now, so different from the stern and cold tone it had before. You ignored her, however, knowing better than to fall for this again. She always got like this when she knew she had screwed up and was trying to crawl back into your good graces. But this time around, you didn't allow it that easily. You refused to speak to her if she hadn't come back to apologize. And yet... you couldn't help but allow yourself at least one sharp dig at her. "And you're late to bed once again. But I suppose Officer Nolan's 'report' was just that interesting, no?" You were perhaps the only person in all auf Pultover that could ever accuse her of something so scandalous as adultery and get away with it.

It certainly would have been amusing if Caitlyn didn't feel so sick at the thought of you believing that.

Sighing, she placed her hat onto a clothing hanger, her jacket following suit. You were facing away from her on the bed, trying to read a book and rest, despite the pain in your heart. It was hard being angry at her when you loved her so deeply. But her insults had struck much deeper than that.

The bed dipped behind you, and soon enough, you felt her strong arms surrounding your body and her nose tickling your cheek. "I'm sorry, my love. I really am. I... have lost my cool, and that was wrong of me." You scoffed at her words, finding them too shallow for the pain she had caused earlier. Yet you struggled to get out of her strong grasp on you. It felt desperate. And you hated the warmth and security that it made you feel. "If that is all you have to say, then you can leave." You hissed out weakly but couldn't find any malice in it. Just heartbreak, that solidified in more tears burning in your eyes. "Because how... how could you ever say that I could betray you? Do you know how that makes me feel? Do you care?"

Caitlyn hummed against the nape of your neck soothingly, a way to acknowledge the plight she had caused you without revealing her own tears. The grief had made her into a monster. A monster that hurt its friends, family, and most importantly, you. It was unforgivable, and yet she wanted to prove herself worthy of you anyway. She wanted to show you that she hadn't changed deep down like everyone claimed. She was still yours.

"... I will find a way to end this war and resolve it peacefully as soon as I can. I swear it to you." She began, her voice low and gentle, as she listened to the sound of your hiccups and sniffling. This wasn't what she wanted. "And I apologize, truly, for what I called you... I know that you are loyal and trustworthy. Much more than I ever could be... I'm still your Caitlyn." The last part was whispered quietly, as she tried everyone in her power to not break down in front of you like this.

She hated what she had become deep down. She knew it was wrong and that her mother must've been turning in her grave at the sight of what she had done. But what she couldn't handle at all was you hating and leaving her.

There was a moment of silence before you turned to face her and immideatly hugged her impossibly close as you cried into her arms. She rubbed your back lovingly, understanding that this was your way of accepting her apology. But forgiveness will still be a long journey she was willing to take.

For now, she'd rest in your embrace thankfully.

》JINX

Deep down, you knew that she didn't mean what she said. She never would do anything to hurt you. Silco's death was just killing her more than anyone could have expected, and it was hard for everyone to deal with. But you just couldn't take the pain and hurt she caused you anymore. You've been there since day one. You were always at her side. You always took care of her when no one else wanted to. And you understood her better than she did herself. But it was ultimately just not enough. Or so you thought.

The young girl that was now dragging you through the lanes reminded you of her too. She didn't speak a word to you, and for some reason, you didn't have it in you to protest against her odd actions either. She somehow seemed to recognize you the second you bumped into her. And that was enough for her to take your hand and lead you to a very familiar hideout. Perhaps it was fate that brought you here again when you needed Jinx the most.

"Hey kid, who's our little guest-?" The rest of the young woman's words died on her tongue, and it left you simply staring at each other. There was a familiar haze in her eyes, one that you often saw when the voices were taking over. She once mentioned that you sometimes became a part of her hallucinations during longer absences, and that reminder alone made your heart ache. You shouldn't have run away that day. But what other choice did you have? She didn't trust you anymore. She didn't think you should be together anymore. Why were you even here?

"S-sorry... I'm just going to leave..." You muttered as your ears rung and that familiar burning in your eyes made your sight blurry. You felt suffocated and somehow also angry, wishing she could just see how much you loved and cared for her. But just as you were turning away to run again, her strong hand was quicker and held you back by your arm. "Wait. Let's just... talk, alright? Like we always do?" That was your thing. Whenever things got bad, you'd sit down and talk calmly to her about it. She used to scoff at it every time... yet she was the one who suggested now for once. Something about it shook you so hard that it made the first tears finally spill at the recognition she had given you for all the work you've put into her.

Jinx panicked a little at that, unsure of how to comfort you, yet at Isha's stern frown and cross of her small arms, she just hugged you for the first time in a while. And god, did she miss it.

Perhaps it was good to show the little girl a picture of you after all.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, I swear, sweetie! I... I won't ever say stuff like that again. Just don't leave me. Please don't leave me. I just, I was just-" You hushed her by just hugging her tighter and shaking your head. "It's okay... just hold me for a while. We can talk later... I missed you so much." You whispered, voice breaking into sobs. Jinx hummed weakly and sighed against your hair, the familiar scent making her relax and feel better at last.

Isha grinned to herself behind you before quickly sneaking off to let you talk things out.

》EKKO

To say that the entire firelight hideout was pissed at him would be an understatement. Absolutely everyone disagreed with the way he treated you, and the side eyes he got very much confirmed this. But the worst part of it all was definitely you avoiding him like the plague.

Every time he entered a room, you were the first one to leave in a hurry. Every time he tried speaking to you, you either ignored him or found an excuse to get away. Every time someone even mentioned his name to you, your mood seemed to dampen. And that hurt so much that it killed him. This isn't how he wanted you to feel about him. He was your boyfriend, damnit it. Yet he acknowledged that he was failing at his job way more than he should've allowed himself to. He had to fix this somehow.

Ekko couldn't just lose you over his own foolishness. You were the one person who motivated him to keep going even on his worst days. You were the light he fought for. The person he battled to come home to every day. He couldn't handle your absence any longer, especially at night when he laid wide awake in your empty bed without you.

And so, he finally had enough and cornered you one night up in the tree during a patrol you had together. One, he definitely didn't pull the strings for to happen. And ever the one to abide by his orders despite your current dismay, you were now avoiding his gaze whilst you watched your sleeping home below. It was peaceful and calm, but the pain lingered between you two too much to enjoy the moment. He didn't know how to break the deafening silence, and it made him think of backing out on his initial plan... until you surprised him by speaking up first.

"I'm... sorry for avoiding you. I didn't mean for this to become your last resort. I just... didn't want to be a burden anymore." "Wait, wait, wait... who said that you were a burden, I... I should be the one apologizing right now. Because I was wrong about every fucking thing I said to you." The words spilled out in panic at the mere thought of you blaming yourself. He never wanted you to feel like this. It made him feel even worse about himself. This wasn't right. "You're not useless. You do so much for us, for me, and I take it all for granted like the asshole I am! And I fully acknowledge that now... I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. There is no excuse for it." He shook his head in disappointment at himself, wondering if this was it now. He'd understand if you broke up with him now... but instead, you seemed to be in the mood to surprise him alot today.

"Did you... like the food I made you?" He blinked at your question in confusion, yet answered honestly. "Best thing I had all week." "Then I guess I'll forgive you... just don't do that again." Ekko chuckled weakly at your words, relief filling his senses whilst he pulled you close to press a kiss to your head. "Would never dream of it... wanna ditch patrol and fly around town?" You mirrored his sly smile, glad he had the same thing on his mind as you did. "Sure thing. But let's make it a race."

He let you win.

》SEVIKA

She took some time to cool off after your argument and returned later into the night with a clearer mind. Sevika had actually reflected on what you had said to her, and she knew you were ultimately right. She was extremely overprotective and stubborn, two things that didn't mesh well and often ended in her thinking you couldn't take care of yourself. Even if she knew better than to actually believe that.

You were strong, especially mentally. It's what drew her into you to begin with. But with the fall of Silco and a war being on the verge of breaking out against Piltover, she had no choice but to make sure that you never left her sight. And if you did, then you had to be somewhere she knew was safe and away from all the chaos she dealt with daily. It helped her focus and stay calm to know that you're okay. Yet despite how much she cared, she still fucked it all up for herself again.

And now she had to fix it, something she was never good at.

She felt awfully guilty at the sight of the things you've lovingly prepared for her, now laying forgotten and cold on the kitchen counter. She truly didn't deserve someone as kind as you. And yet she considered herself too selfish to let you go.

Slowly approaching the bedroom door, she paused to hear if you were awake or not. Unfortunately, you were, but she only knew this from the faintest sound of your sniffling and sobbing that drifted through the wooden door. Sighing to herself, she knocked once, deciding to just rake things slow and as calmly as possible. You had sustained an injury after all, and her mind was reeling at the thought of it getting worse without any proper care. "What do you want?!" Your weak voice yelled at her, and it made her frown. Yeah, you were definitely beyond pissed.

"I want to talk." Her gruff voice said, and it may have sounded like a demand if the underlying care and worry didn't overshadow it so clearly. Your silence made her initially think you were ignoring her until the door slowly opened and revealed your disheveled form. "... well, go ahead." You muttered, one hand cradling the side of your hip that was clumsily bandaged up by you. You were never good at stuff like that.

"Let me take care of the wound whilst we're at it. Can't have ya dying on me because of an infection." She sighed out before simply dragging you to your shared bed and pulling out your medkit. You didn't protest or complain and let her do as she pleased, whilst you carefully listened to her speak with an unreadable expression.

"Listen. I... get it. I really do. The way I treat you isn't right, and I know you're grown enough to take care of yourself, but... I can't risk losing you too now. It drives me crazy to think about. Even if that ain't much of an excuse, and I get that too." She was never this honest before. Usually, she simply deflected or blamed someone else. But here she was, for once admitting openly to being the problem. "Just... be more careful out there. That's all I ask of you. I won't comment on it otherwise anymore though, unless you're in serious danger. I promise." Finishing the last of her bandaging, she hummed at it now looking much securer. This way, you are sure to recover much faster.

Taking a deep breath, you nodded your head at her words, deciding to give her another chance to prove herself. You understood where she was coming from after all. "Okay, fine. I'll accept your apology... if you help me cook." She grinned at that slightly with a casual shrug. "Fine by me, if I get a taste of your heavenly cooking, sweetheart."

[paddockletters]

drunken confession | charles leclerc smau

request: yes! | thank you so much and sorry took me so long pairing: charles leclerc x singer! reader summary: when Charles drunkenly posts instagram stories confessing his love for his secretly famous best friend after a podium celebration

Gossip 

Liked by carlossainz55 and 24,945 others 

Gossip: Charles Leclerc, Ferrari driver, celebrating after his win in Las Vegas. 

view all the comments

Fan1: Charles is having the time of his life 

Fan2: I swear, I love seeing him enjoy himself, he totally deserved another win 🥺

Fan3: Hope his friends keep him safe so he doesn’t do something stupid 😭😭😭

Fan4: I get it, when you're drunk you don't know what you're doing 😂

charles_leclerc

Liked by yourusername and 3,863,927 others

charles_leclerc: Heyyy… do you guys knooow my friennnd? She’s likeee… my bestest friennnd, and I’ve loooved herrr for… what, likeeee, 3 yeaaars or somethin’? i'll marry her one dayyyy

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Fan5: Charles… WHAT THE HELL??? Fan6: This man just confessed not only that he’s in love... BUT THAT HE’S IN LOVE WITH HIS FRIEND WHO, BY THE WAY, IS THE DAMN Y/N 😭😭😭 Fan7: Y/N and Charles??? Didn’t see that coming but I love it Fan8: Offended that no one knew they even knew each other Fan9: SOMEBODY TAKE CHARLES' PHONE AWAY FROM HIM, FOR GOD'S SAKE

landonorris: When did you posted this?

Fan10: Doesn’t matter, now the whole world knows about his love for Y/N Fan11: landonorris, did you know?

Fan12: yourusername LOOK AT THIS Fan13: yourusername WE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THIS SECRET Fan14: yourusername SOMETHING TO SAY???

arthur_leclerc: Bro… don’t forget to send this one to mom before you propose😂

Fan15: I didn't even know they were FRIENDS and now he’s out here planning weddings 😭😭

yourusername has posted a story

Time skip 2 year later

yourusername

Liked by charles_leclerc and 2,921,973 others

yourusername: Surprise! We’ve been keeping this one to ourselves for a while… 💍❤️ Love of my life—6 years of friendship, 3 years in love (we didn´t know), and 2 years married

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Fan9: My whole life feels like a lie 😭😭😭

pierregasly: About time, mate. Knew you’d slip up 😉

carlossainz55: Charles with the accidental announcement 😂

max33verstappen: I knew it! You couldn’t keep it quiet forever. #GridMom

landonorris: Congrats to the grid mum and dad 👀

carmenmound: I’m dying… he really couldn’t wait another week for a proper announcement?

charles_leclerc: Je t’aime, ma reine ❤️

[tan1shere]

Her Favorite - Pt 3

Billie Eilish x female reader !

A/n: this is the last part of this series I hope you all enjoyed it !! This was one of my favs to write <3

Summary: you're the teachers pet. Her. Favorite.

Warnings: smut, tension ? A small tiny argument, fingering, strap, r sucks billies tits, teasing from both parts, slight angst ??? Scissoring - let me know if I missed anything !

Tags - @trulyy-yourzz @eilishslut @brat-at-the-disco @iluvapplesxh @chrissv4mp @n0vabug @dollyvuu

Masterlist - pt 1 , pt 2

You didn't want to believe it, but she had been distant. Why? It was bugging you because all you wanted was her. Just her. And the more the time passes that's all you could think of. Her. Your God damn teacher. You could barely focus with the thought of her recently so when she had started this weird distancing. You were a bit hurt. But, you decide to try your best to ignore it. "Hey Y/n!" You hear Silvi say, approaching you. You turn to face her. "Oh hi!" You say cheerful. "Since we didn't get to hang out that one time I thought I'd invite you to this party I'm going to tomorrow night." You think for a moment.

"You know what yeah, I'd love to." She smiles and goes about her day. This couldn't hurt anyone right? That was unconvincing, you knew it'd bother someone. But then again that someone doesn't really seem to care currently. Why the hell not!

It was a Saturday and you were in her bed, things were quiet like they have been. Until she turns over and wraps her arms around you. "Sorry I haven't been that present. End of the year so it's hectic as a teacher." You look up into her eyes. Oh.. That's why, now you felt bad about going to this party. But why, you deserved to have fun. You just nod, going to kiss her cheek and sit up. "I uh, I'll just get going." Her brows furrow. "You know you can stay another night babe." You bite your lip. "Yeah but I just don't have a change of clothes here." She looks at you. "Those are fine, no?" You sigh. "I'm going somewhere."

Her head tilts with a grin. "What, no invite?" You stand up, causing her face to shift. Her features changing at your body language. "It's uhm, a school party. So it'd be a bit you know." She caught on. "Right, gotcha." Billies fear was infront of her, she didn't want to believe it. She was 9 years older than you ofcourse you needed to be around people your age. But she wondered if that was romantically too. She didn't want that, she just wanted you. "You hate parties though." It was true, you did. Then that jealousy kicks in. "Shes going to be there isn't she." You stay silent for a moment as you put your pants on, leaving her baggy t-shirt on.

You grab your keys,but she's up and out of bed. "Hey." She says when you don't respond, coming over and making you look at her. There was more silence as she finds the right thing to say. She wants to tell you to be careful and to not do this at all. But shes better than that. "Have fun ok?" You nod again, kissing one another before you leave. The kiss lingers on your lips, and you miss it. Did you even want to go to this party?

It was too late you were already there with Silvi, having a few drinks but never too much. You really didn't like parties but, you hadn't ever been to one so why fight something you haven't even tried. Laughing, talking, music. Honestly it was boring and you'd rather be spending it with Billie, in your underwear in the comfort. Eating crap, watching movies. That's all you'd want right now. But something pulled you out of that little day dream, you feel a hand on your thigh. Your senses going off, growing uncomfortable. You turn to see it was Silvi's you look at her as she must've done it subconsciously. Talking to whoever infront of her. But her next move wasn't so subconscious. Her hand slowly glides upwards making you get up from your seat.

Her face turns to you. But before anything else you go to find your way around into a room, not realizing she had followed. "Shit, I'm sorry I didn't even-" You shake your head. "It's fine. I just think I want to go home." Not think. You were certain. "You sure?" Your brows furrow slightly. Feeling uneasy. "Positive." She comes over and sits by you. "We could go soon, you got somewhere to be?" Yes. At our teachers house. "No I just, don't really want to be here." She gets closer. You felt icky. "Please just take me home." Her demeanor changes. "Fine." Your brows furrow again, what the fuck was up with her.

You were close to Billies place. "Just let me out here." She slows down. "This isn't your place." You go to open the door. "I know it's a friend's." She didn't seem to really care. Wow, Billie was right she wasn't any good. "Bye." You say closing the door, watching her zoom off. You felt gross, wanting to get in there and find some sort of comfort. You knock on the door, getting greeted by a slightly sleepy Billie. "Hey, no fun?" You shake your head, noticeably seeming down. You step in. Being greeted by the smell of her place. It was such a beautiful smell. "Something happen?" You give it a moment. "Nah, just wanted to be in comfort tonight." She sensed something was up, but going to let it be for now.

"Ok well, the beds missing you." You smile at her. "I'm missing the bed." She puts a hand over her heart. "You and my bed might as well date, you like it more than me." You giggle, shoving her lightly. She loved making you laugh or even smile. It made her feel powerful that she could make that happen, it made her heart happy to hear and see. You both get into the bed once you get out of that annoying dress. You eventually fall asleep in one another's arms.

Wednesday, Wednesday. Wednesday. Things seemed to be normal again, which you were thankful for. Today was a stripped shirt and tie day. And she looked tasty as ever. You were in a very playful mood so today you went with yet another short skirt. Her eyes land on it instantly. Giving you a look, but you just returned it with an innocent smile. The shirt you were wearing wasn't helping either. Tight. You were honestly thanking the universe that Silvi wasn't there today. You don't need some repeat of a few weeks ago. At the end of the lesson you slowly get your things, everything was so slow, intentionally so. You go over to her desk, her eyes not meeting yours just yet even though everyone's gone.

"Hi!-" "What are you wearing." Her tone was calm, knowing good and well she was far from that. "Well hello to you aswel." Your eyes roll. "And I thought you loveddd my skirts." She stands. "Why are you testing me today hm?" You shrug. "Good thing Silvi wasn't here to drool over it." You cringed slightly, remembering she was right about her. But you soon roll your eyes again. "Whatever I seriously-" But her hand was around your neck, you tense slightly but only for a moment. It was just her, you didn't need to worry. You had actually been doing that alot recently, that whole interaction had frightened you to say the least, you felt weak and out of your own control in that moment that night.

It was frightening without a doubt. "Don't test me babygirl." Her tone was full of warning, you gulp. Clenching your thighs. Her head motion down as you do, letting out a dry chuckle. "Really? You like me doing this?" Your words go. But her hand soon leaves, causing you to whine. You wanted more. She goes back over to her desk. "I'll just finish that up then we can head to mine." You had forgotten it was the end of the day. Score. You think for a moment. "Yes ma'am." She laughs a tad, shaking her head. She thought you were being silly. No, you were dead serious. So when that doesn't work you resort to your next trick. Your eyes scan her desk.

Seeing a pencil laying there, your fingers go to move it off. "Oopsies, my bad." She wasn't really paying attention, she was finishing a few things. But her head turns as shes faced with your ass. Her eyes widen as she spots the second fucked thing you did today. Her eyes look around as if someone would see. Everyone left. Her eyes return as you slowly stand up. She grabs the bottom of your skirt pulling it as much down as she could. "Are you serious?" She then says. Your head turns to her. "Whattt?" Her eyes widen again, brows furrowing tremendously. "You were sitting there. For almost an hour with nothing on!?" You giggle. "Nooo, I just took them off. But you weren't looking sooo." Her temper shines through. "Jesus fucking christ."

She's surely worked up from seeing your bare cunt on display for her. "Office. Go." You bite your lip. And boom, you got what you want. So you thought. She locks the door behind her, coming up behind you and pushing you over her desk. Causing you to bend over. "Might just tease the fuck out of you and leave you here." Your head turns to look back at her. "You wouldn't." - "Oh yeah?" Her finger makes contact with your folds. "Imagine if someone had walked in." She was still mad, making her finger retract. This was going to piss you off sooner or later. She grabs her tie, bringing it over your exposed ass.

"Out in the open like that." It travels around to your neck, she wraps it around tightening ever so slightly. "With this stupid fucking skirt." It tightens more, you gasp. But it then loosens as she grabs your wrists, tying them together. Causing you to fall further into the desk, the coolness hitting your cheek. Her hand makes contact with your hair, pushing just a tad. "Please, I'm sorry." You then plead. She chuckles maniacally. "Bad girls don't get treated nicely." You bite your lip as you think of a response. "Teach me to be good then." You say, your voice soft. It was her turn to bite her lip. "You gunna listen?" You nod. "Answer me." - "Yes, Ms O'Connell." She lets out a breath, finding the way you say it so hot.

Her hands fiddle with the belt around her waist, pulling out your favorite one of her straps. It was the second most large one she owned. And in an instant it's prodding your hole, ready for access. Your back arches, moving around to try get it in. "Don't dig your grave further." She says stilling your hips. "B-" You stop yourself. This was already bad you couldn't make things worse. Little did you know. The tip slides in, not fast enough but you keep your mouth shut. No whines, no protests no nothing. Not until she bottoms out inside you. Your mouth hangs open at the feeling. "This fucking skirt." Her fury was still evident. Very. Evident. Especially when she snaps her hips hard against you.

The stretch made your eyes squeeze shut, your legs almost doing the same but her hands make sure that doesn't happen. Your brain went into a frenzy, biting your lip so hard you draw some blood. Your tongue swipes over it, letting out a small hum. She looks at why you had done that, seeing your blood lip. She looks at it for a split second, then your eyes. The way they roll back as she's giving you backshots on her fucking desk. You were like a drug to her, she found you to be the most precious thing ever. "Gunna cum? Can feel you getting tighter." Her body leans over yours, her hands on the brown wood. Either side of your body. Her thrusts were ungodly. "Mm, yes!" You gasp as it hits your g-spot. "Found it." You moan. Cumming immediately.

She pulls out bringing you up and making you sit on the desk. Kissing your lips, tasting that same thing you tasted moments ago. Slowly pushing you back, feeling the cold desk against you. She was hovering over you, no words being said. She gets up close to you. "Maybe you should get it into your head..." Her voice low. Her hand moves to wrap around your neck her strength pulling you up and off her desk just slightly. Your eyes widen as she does. "You're mine." But you smirk, sealing the whole situation with one last kiss.

Fridays were probably your favorite, not only was it the end of the week, but you got to see your hot girlfriend. As you enter you're blinded by today's outfit. How would you ever focus. The dang glasses. The way her top fit perfectly, the long skirt. You sit down in your spot. Fixated on her cleavage. You needed to stop this was bad. Then you thought for longer. Was this pay back? Was she giving you a taste of your own medicine from the other day? Your heart skips a beat when she makes eye contact with you. Your thighs squeeze. She was so evil.

You were begging for this to be over and soon. You were also begging to suck on her t- "Y/n? You with us?" You gulp quietly, but her eyes watch your throat. She knew. "Oh, yes. Sorry." This was absolute torture. But you let out a relieved sigh when it was finally time. Everyone goes to leave as you go over to her. "Hi!" You say happily. She smirks. "Hi babygirl." That fucking nickname. "You good today?" Oh God the way she was speaking. "Yes." You knew she was asking how you were feeling, not how you would be acting for her. On your knees, obeyi- "Earth to Y/n?" Your head shakes. "Huh?" She smiles. She's got you right where she wants you. "I asked if you were ready to go my love?"

"Mhmm!" You say wanting to get out of there as fast as possible. You needed her. So bad. So when you get to hers your legs rush to her room, her slowly following. You whine at how long she's taking. "Billieee." She laughs. "Yes pumpkin?" You glare at her, getting frustrated. But you were just so needy there was no room for your bratty remarks. "Pleaseeee." You say, from your spot on the bed. She comes over, getting ontop of you. Thankfully there was a slit in the skirt so she could maneuver properly. Her hand moves over your body, moving to your soaked underwear. She hums to herself. Knowing exactly what she's upto. And glad she's succeeding.

Her finger slips past and enters you a little bit. You gasp. "Remember to breathe." ..... "Good girl." Her fingers enter you slowly. But your eyes are glued to her tits. They just looked so incredibly good in that outfit. Your hands move to touch but she grips them. "Uh uh. Since you didn't have a proper punishment the other day you need to learn your mistakes." You huff, is she serious? She can't be. You just wanted to wrap your lips around them and you wanted to do it now. "That's not fair." You mumble. Her brows raise.

"No? Not fair huh? Let's circle back to you wearing that tight, shirt and tiny tiny skirt. I had to focus on teaching, I had to refrain from fucking the living shit out of you because you indeed looked God damn hot in it. I had to wait a whole. Hour. You can't wait that, and a bit more. Can't you?" You swallow. Having no words. "Bu-" "Uh uh. Don't but me, you know good and well." You let out a moany, huff. "Come on now, don't be like that angel. You'll get what you want. You just have to work for it." You wriggle. "Ah! Lesson learned, I won't do it again." She doesn't even let your hand move to touch before she's pinning them down. "What, did I say."

And you caved, you were too far gone with need to care. "Please, Billie I'm sorry I wore such a revealing skirt like that in public, you know I won't do it again. I promise and if I break it you can do such horrible things and I'll have to take it just please. Please let me suck them." You were almost on the verge of tears, but man was she enjoying every bit of this. "You want to suck them huh?" She ponders as you nod manically. "Please, I need to so bad." She still thinks. "No wonder you were so wet." You whimper. Oh that sweet whimper. And within an instant that shirt is loose. Her tits spill out right before your eyes.

Your thighs sqish tightly as your mouth latches so fast. Closing your eyes. She bites her lip, watching you suck. Bite. Do it all. You were too far gone. Incredibly far. The way you swirld your tongue made her grunt. The feeling so good. Her hand makes its way into your hair, stroking it as you do so. "You are a good girl, shit." She breathes. But she nearly goes mental with your next words. "Mmm, mommy." Her eyes look at the headboard processing. She grabs your face, kissing you with such hunger. Your subby state makes it sloppy. Moaning into the kiss. "Say that again." She says against your lips. And as you were about to. Her finger is back in your pulsing cunt. "F-fuck! Mommy." - "Mm, good. Louder."

Her fingers speed up as you go to again. "Mommy!" It was music to her ears. If she wasn't inlove before she sure as hell is now. "Cum for me, go on." Her fingers enter deep. Making your head spin, and eyes roll back. Gushing all over her fingers. Her eyes look down, looking at the white substance. "You, my girl. Are just one sexy thing huh?" Your head rests back out of breath. "You're sexier."

Weeks pass. Things were back to how they were a few months back. Everyime something beautiful happens it gets ruined and by what? It was eating at you. Was it you? What was going on. You wanted to ask but that'd just opened room for her asking what had happened that night. She had asked the day after if you wanted to talk about it but you declined and said it wasn't important. Maybe you should've told her. You didn't want her freaking out or even saying- 'I told you so.' But when she notices your strange behavior over the last few days its making her want to know more.

The other day.

You had just woken up, making some food, when you hadn't heard her come in. You had on her t-shirt and some underwear, humming away to yourself. When a hand touches your thigh, the same thigh that she touched. You jump back, turning to look at her. She was about to apologize for giving you a fright, but then she remembered. She's done that dozens of times before. You always knew it was her and you always put your head on her shoulder. So when none of that happened she gets more confused. "You've been doing that alot recently angel, everything ok?" You're silent for a bit. "Yeah! Just didn't hear you come in." Such a lie. Even if that was true, she knew something had to be up with the way you reacted. "Okay.."

She thrusts into you slowly, it was all sweet. Everything was. The eye contact, the intimacy. Her thrusts soon speed up, wanting to get you to that bliss feeling. Loving how she always could. She was getting closer to. But everything in the room changes. She touches that sane spot on your thigh making you tense up and gasp. She hadn't noticed at first seeing as you gasp all the time. What was it with that thigh. It wasn't even because of Silvi. But for some reason she triggered it. Something happened ages ago and it was slowly coming back to you. Your hand wraps around her wrist.

Causing her attention to be on you, her brows furrow as she sees your discomfort. She would never ever want to hurt you in any way. "Too fast?" You think for a second, you had to lie you couldn't tell her what was truly bothering you. You then nod, her hand moving to your hip. Soothing any further discomfort. "Sorry babe."

She begins the lesson for today, writing on the board. After that one night things were still dry in the air. You honestly hated it, but it was probably all your fault all along. That's what you'd been telling yourself. But it wasn't all you. Billie was in fact distancing. It was the last thing that she wanted but she was falling hard for you. One half of her didn't care about the fact she was falling for someone so amazing. She loved it, and then the other half wondered if you could do better. When your in your early 30s she will be in her 40s. It didn't sound that bad but it was intense to think about. Let alone the fact she's still your teacher. Even if the year was ending for you this year, you wouldn't have to be as secret atleast.

This was her brain constantly, weighing out the pros and cons. But why should she, she knew what she felt was real despite all of that. But she cared too much about you. She just wanted you to be happy and she didn't know if that was with her. But she definitely looked good today. It made you miss how closer you were before the weird change. You hardly went over to hers anymore and it hurt. It really hurt. "Sorry I'm late." It was Silvi, she had been gone for over a month. You had no idea why. But you avert your gaze, feeling uncomfortable. Remembering that night so clearly. "That's alright, take a seat." Billie gives her a kind smile. Continuing to talk about today's lesson. When her eyes land on you, she notices that sane discomfort like the other night. All she wants to do is comfort you. But she had to stay professional.

She can deal with this afterwards. As the class nears the end she spots how you shift in your seat when Silvi walks past. Her brows furrow, now she was determined to figure out what had happened. Did she do something?

The car ride was silent. It was bugging the both of you but none of you say a thing. As the night goes on it proceeds to consist. Until she speaks up, finally. "You've been weird lately, especially that night that you came home strange from that party and you'd refuse to tell me what happened. And even the other night when-"

"Not now Billie please." - "So you admit something happened?" You stay quiet continuing to take your makeup off. "If not now when? Huh? You keep putting it off whenever I ask you if you're ok. I worry about you for fuck sakes." You turn around so fast. "Bull fucking shit. You've been distancing yourself again! I know damn well its not school. So what is it?" Now she's silent. "What, happened. At. That. Party." You turn to face the mirror. "If you won't tell me why you're distant I won't be telling you that." She was seething, you'd never seen her so angry before. But you didn't care you were getting annoyed too.

Then within seconds her hand Flys to your wrist, you jump getting a fright. She stops in her tracks. "She touched you. Didn't she." You Avert her eyes. "No." Hers squint, not believing that for even a second. "Did she?" - "Billie."

"Did she fucking touch you?"

"Yes. But I stopped it God, why are you so worried." Her brows furrow. "Because, you didn't give her consent to do that! That stupid bitch just thought she could do whatever."

"Why are you so worried when I stopped it." - "She could've pressured you." You shake your head. "Do you think I'm stupid or something?" She puts her weight on her left foot. "You know I don't think that." - "Again. Why are you so fucking worried when you're the only one I want touching me." The room fell silent, a slight need creeping in the air. Her face moves, eyes locking into your own. Her feet move, but so do yours. Lips instantly crashing on the others. Everything grew heated. "Only one?" You nod. "Only one." You both say between kisses. "It's only ever been you." Those words fuel everything in her.

Backing you up out of the bathroom and onto the bed her kisses trail down your neck, down to your cleavage. She takes all that you were wearing off, seeing you all. She then takes her clothes off, leaving you in awe about the special moment that was about to happen. Just you and her, closer than ever. When her cunt slots perfectly into yours you both let out a long well needed moan. This was all you ever wanted, it's all she ever wanted. To have you close in this way. She moves against you, her body moving closer to your own as your breasts touch. Her lips meet yours as she kisses you.

It was the sweetest kiss ever. Full of every emotion. As her movements pick up she pulls back loving how this all felt. "I love you." You were taken aback for a second. But that soon goes away. "I love you." You then reply, she was so happy. Your hands go to her face. "I'm inlove with you." Her heart melts, that's all she ever wanted. She just had no idea if you'd feel the same. "Together." She says softly, putting loose strands of your hair away from your face to see you better. You nod as she picks up momentum, feeling that amazing feeling building up. She feels it too, she feels it all. And with one last move of her hips your both gushing against one another.

You grab her face going to kiss her again, both smiling into it. She lays back on the bed, holding you in her arms. "Why I was distancing honestly had nothing to do with you. It was just my fucked up brain scared I'd ruin things and I nearly did." Your hand rests on her shoulder as you're both on your sides. "Bills. You could never ruin things, I think I've loved you for a very long time, but I too, was afraid. I'd never want you to feel like you had to choose me." She shakes her head. "I'd choose you in a million life times, over and over again." Her hands hold your face. This whole moment was just perfect. It was good to clear up things and communicate. Her eyes wander to your thigh. "I hope you know you can tell me anything at all. I'm here for you, always."

You nod as she says that. You trust her, which was hard for you. You thought this whole school would change that and it had. All because of her. You grab her hand moving it to that exact thigh. You let out a small breath as she watches your face, scans it. Her thumb moving over it soothingly. "Did something deeper happen to you?" You look at her. Thinking for a moment. "Nothing you need to worry about."

Except there was something deeper. Massively, that you knew youd have to tell eventually. And you would. Youd tell her everything. She was now your everything.

[alieinthemorning]

Deepest, Darkest, Purest Love [Sylus] 

Content: World Underneath: Sealed in Dust Spoilers, Sylus Story Speculation, Angst, Soft Sylus, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert

Pronouns: None

Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don’t forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!

This work’s concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries.

Sylus…was an enigma to you. After the Nest, the forced resonating, and being told that he wanted to achieve his goal, he needed you to like him in some capacity. Now, you’ve ended up here in one of his many safe houses, wrapped in his arms on the couch while some movie played. Domestic bliss as its finest, but how did you end up here? You knew that it wasn’t just him playing with your feelings while you hopelessly fell for it. No…you knew that his feelings for you were real. His actions and words, although not always obvious, were always clear in the intentions. 

“You know very well that I adore you. There is no love purer than mine.”

Despite how you acted toward him, or tried to deceive yourself. You knew you loved him. You loved this man something fierce. And honestly? 

It scared you—terrified you.

You understood that you and Sylus shared a past. One of your many pasts, over your many deaths. Unfortunately, you couldn’t remember much (not that you think you ever could). Since EVER had gotten their hands on you and the Aether Core, memories come up spotty and painful. You want to remember, you really do, but it doesn’t seem like you have an actual say in the matter. But from what you can remember…you’ve both died…many, many times. Pitted against each other for some reason or other, then forced to become close—fall in love, just to do it all over again—Oh.

Oh.

“You know very well that I adore you. There is no love purer than mine.”

You were pitted against each other for the Aether core. That’s what wants to devour him—this damned Aether Core. 

“Sweetie?” His thumb brushed against your under eye, catching the wetness there. “Why are you crying?” 

“I’m sorry!” You wail into his chest. “I’m so sorry for hurting you!”

“I’ve told you before that it was my fault for pushing you—” He grunted as you shoved away from him, shaking your head violently. 

“I’m talking about before! Way back when—I still don’t remember it all, but I know that I hurt you, so—” You looked up at him, tears caressing your waterline. “How can you love me so deeply?” 

“I’ve told you this once, and I’ll tell you as many times as you need.” He smiled, and you break. 

“You know very well that I adore you. There is no love purer than mine.”

You know, and you hate yourself for selfishly enveloping yourself in that love. 

A love you do not deserve. 

I was trying to do Soft Sylus, which! for the two lines that he speaks, he is in fact soft, so I'm counting it! But it ended up as angst regardless lol.

Now, let's get into what might be his Myth or one of his many pasts with you. I think that the two of you were pitted against each other for the Aether Core. Whoever the hell had y'all fighting wanted to make one of you stronger, and having one kill the other for the core seemed a lot more fun than just choosing one. But! I don't think it worked, y'all got tired of fighting and choose not to take arms when it was time, which not the best idea because you'd be punished, but hey, it did eventually get the message through to them. However, they took another approach, which was getting the two of you closer, so when they did pit you two against each other again, one of you would have to throw your life down for the other, and in this case…it was Sylus.

At least! That's what I'm thinking lol. Just a little theory!

I'm on Bluesky btw~

Ko-Fi | Masterlist

[pbam0ney]

Hey, sean, y'know why your passing hurt them?

It was BECAUSE they love you. And that alone shows that you are deserving of being family. They love you, and that shows you are deserving of this status.

You'd be hurt too if someone you loved died, right? You wouldn't hold that against them, though! So you shouldn't hold it against yourself.

All I've done was hurt them yet they kept staying! I don't deserve that damn title... I really don't!

I blame myself for everything that happened....

(Sean continues to cry, curling up into a ball on the floor)

I did this to myself.... It was all my fault and that's final!

[yandere-paramour]

So Noelle, being to a degree emotionally reliant on knowing that darling is safe and that her apartment is a sanctuary. How is she handling having that mental construct violated? Like say for example there's a break in and the apartment is robbed, darling isn't hurt or anything just that perception of having a safe secure place violated in some way. c:

GREAT Question, I was excited to answer this one.

First, let's explore the logistics of this. By the nature of her wealth and status, Atalanta has a trusted and experienced security team to protect her at all times. Since she was hired, Noelle has had security around her too, both because Ata likes her and because she is a potential risk. If Noelle is kidnapped and tortured for information, Montclair secrets could come out and that's a huge problem. So there is at least 1 security guard following Noelle around/Guarding her apartment at all times. A potential intruder would have to break into the building, get in the elevator, somehow know the apartment number, get past the guard, and then get into the locks. Noelle is no fool, she has taken precautions to protect both herself and Darling.

If someone managed to do all that, Noelle would be downright hysterical. Like she would have a mental breakdown, and Darling isn't even hurt in this scenario. If Darling was hurt, she might go on a rampage. For now, she is able to tone it down to just a simple mental breakdown.

You have never seen Noelle like this, and you will never see it again. In fact, very very few people have seen Noelle like this (Odette, her mom, and a few stepfathers). Noelle is a very, very calm person. She doesn't raise her voice or show any extreme emotions. You could be psychotic and she would calm you down slowly and gently, wrap you in a blanket, and hold you close as you slept.

But this is more than she can handle. This is violating her sacred space. She has carved out one space in the entire fucking world and some jackass has fucking defiled it? She can't have one damn thing? What did she fucking do in her past life to deserve all this?

You're not fucking staying here tonight. Noelle sends you with a security guard to a hotel room Atalanta arranged; she'll catch up later tonight. She has to do something first. You can try to protest but she's not in the fucking mood and you are going to listen and go. She's actually a little scary, she always speaks kindly to you.

You wait anxiously in the hotel for Noelle to come back for about 2 hours. When she finally comes, she is back to her normal loving, doting self, stroking your hair and lamenting about how scared you must've been and how brave you were and how she is so thankful you are safe and sound. She brought your favorite stuffed animal and some clothes for the two of you. She seems the same, only a little sweaty. After she showers, she cuddles you to sleep, then gets up to get her laptop and try to rebuild your lives.

The next day, Noelle allows you (after a lot of begging and pleading on your end) to go get some more essentials. When you get back through the kicked-in door, you are shocked. The place looks much, much worse than it did when you saw it last. The expensive glass vases and trinkets Noelle decorates with are shattered on the ground, the paintings clawed, the TV seemingly kicked in. The place looks ransacked, and your mouth drops open. You know Noelle would never be negligent enough to not leave someone to watch the door, and nothing sentimental seems hurt. All of your possessions are safely intact and pristine. Only... only the expensive things are destroyed... only the things that can be replaced.

"What-" You don't even know what to say, "What happened here?"

"What do you mean, Darling?" Noelle cocks her head at you, confused, "The burglars did this; it was like this when you left."

"No-"

"You're mistaken, my love. This must be such a great shock to you. Let's get your things and we can go back to the hotel room and rest. I'll even order some of those cookies you like."

[dozyteacozy]

I had to play the field a little bit for the shooting star festival in Fields of Mistria. Here's my reaction to Balor's, Hayden's, Eiland's, Juniper's and March's dates

(⚠️Spoilers for the FOM shooting star festival ahead. Screenshots are included.)

Balor

Balor. The sketchy merchant with ominous boomer energy.

What do you mean "next year, huh...." WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Damn, why's he sitting so far away? Is this his very unsubtle projection of being a mysterious bad boy? Ooorrr is he leaving room for jesus? 🤷‍♀️

Final thoughts: A little underwhelming, but I suppose given Balor's air of mystery, his romance is a slow burn. I predict that you really gotta commit to him before you can learn more about him.

Hayden

stop

STOP

STHAAAAAAPPPPPP

He's a cuddler, a snuggly big soft boi❤️❤️❤️look how close he sits to the farmer, this man's starved for love and he deserves it by the ton 😭💞💞

Final thoughts: Not gonna lie, I've been pretty lukewarm on Hayden so far, but this cut scene instantly made him my favourite bachelor out of the bunch! Just picturing a little Hayden sitting on the roof of his farmhouse with his grandma, watching the stars and eating popcorn is the turbo booster shot of wholesome serotonin I needed.

Eiland

Awwww, it's really cute when he gushes about archaeology and history 💖

But then it got deep

Poor Eiland. I suppose he must constantly feel like the odd one out in his family, given his vested interest in Mistria's past. I do like how the farmer can encourage him and show him that his work is important and has merit. That was really sweet.

^Help! I've been vexed by this fluffly, pink haired, cutie pie!

Such a gentleman 🥰

Final thoughts: I loved this cute little date! Eiland definitely fits the bill for the charming, princely type. But he's got layers too, and that's why we love him. <3

👑Juniper 👑

God, I love her

hhhhhnnnnnnnnnngggggggg

Stop being mean to me or I'm gonna fall in love with you!

Final thoughts: Juniper is a queen, as always. I adore how sassy she is, and I love how she flirts calls you out when you return her sass in kind. There is a hint of sadness to this scene though that I did not picture here. I think deep down, Juniper is lonely, and that makes me just want to love on her even more. 💔

March

He's so awkward lmao 🤣🤣

^Maaaaayyyyyybeeee

Wait no! Stop the car! Does he think the farmer is making fun of him by asking him out? Oh no, my heart! March, it don't be like that <\3

Final thoughts: Our poor resident tsundere blacksmith. March's date went about as expected. There's more to his scene than what I showed here. It ends in a sort of sweet way where he walks you home cause he doesn't want to get chewed out if you end up tripping in the dark 🤣🤣

Final, final thoughts: I had so much fun with this festival. Thank you FOM developers for such a wonderful game with really engaging characters <3

[vidavalor]

Love reading your thoughts, @masnadies! Have some in return on the shop metaphor and why I think Aziraphale does attempt sleep at times, if you or anyone else is interested. No pressure. 😊

Cute excuse, too, for one of my favorites of @mimisempai's correctly "incorrect" gifs 😊

<<If we can be bookshops (and honestly, I can't think of much I'd rather be), then all the mementos are memories, and all the books are what? knowledge? also memories? ideas? Intriguing, in any case, as the bookshop is full of clutter and rare, valuable books, none of that cheap stuff but it's everywhere all mixed up and nobody can figure it out. All of that is lovely for metaphor of Aziraphale.>>

I can't think of anything I'd rather be than a bookshop, either. 😊 i think Aziraphale is the bookshop on two, different-but-interconnected levels, I think. One is the metaphorical one we're talking about here; the other is the characters' sexually euphemistic one, which I think exists in the dialogue, in part, to help us see the metaphorical use of the bookshop for Aziraphale. It makes it more interesting, though, because Aziraphale using the bookshop as a stand-in for himself in innuendo means that he and Crowley are self-aware of the metaphor, which allows the characters themselves to be seen playing with it as metaphor and not just as innuendo as well.

So, we have the innuendo-laden things like "Just as that bookshop, technically, is my shop, but we both get plenty of use out of it, don't we?" and the "you like waiting inside" and the "get thee behind me, foul fiend-- after you!"... but we also have Crowley and Aziraphale aware that what is, technically, each their own, is also one another's, because they are a couple. So, The Bentley is Aziraphale's and the bookshop is Crowley's, and that means that it's "Fells' Bookshop" and "no more old bookshops" and "you can't leave this bookshop", etc..

I think that there is a slight difference in understanding between the main characters on this. Not when it comes to the innuendo-- they both get that. It's actually more in how Crowley uses it sometimes and it comes down to how they each see Aziraphale. Aziraphale sees the bookshop like how he sees himself-- not good enough, a compromise when Crowley deserves more-- while Crowley sees the bookshop as clever and safe and home. The same thing that Aziraphale sees as the best he could offer Crowley when he wants to give him more is something that Crowley sees as the most romantic of gestures and evocative of their love for each other and the life they're trying to make together. Aziraphale has still not fully seen this, I don't think. It's the root of the confusion of "you can't leave this bookshop" in 2.06. I think we can all see that Crowley means that Aziraphale can't leave him and their life together but, ironically, Aziraphale had spent the whole season low key trying to figure out how to get them the fuck out of the damn bookshop lol.

Crowley had been struggling to feel safe in there since the fire and why even run it anymore when Heaven hadn't shown up in years and Aziraphale never wanted to run a bookshop? I think he was struggling to figure out whether or not he had an obligation to keep the embassy open or if he could just pack it in and tell Crowley about the cottage and just go live like normal people. He didn't know how to handle that with threats of Heaven and Hell and Armageddon still looming-- The Finale'll solve the rest of that-- but he was circling asking Crowley to go with him to the South Downs. So, when Crowley is all "you can't leave this bookshop" and means him and their life, he thinks Aziraphale was breaking up with him when Aziraphale replies with that (brutal lol) "oh, Crowley, nothing lasts forever." Because Aziraphale thinks they're talking about the actual bookshop because, like The Baby Swap was in S1, The Final 15 is a series of miscommunications based around how no one can understand each other because they're all too in their own heads when it comes to what they're thinking/worrying about to fully recognize what the other person is saying.

I think that all of the Whickber Street Shopkeepers & Traders represent different things in the story based on their personalities and on what kind of businesses they run but, running under all of that, is the fact that Aziraphale actually has two businesses on Whickber Street. He's also a landlord. He owns the land and many of the buildings on and in which the people on Whickber Street are working/living, which means that, metaphorically-speaking? They're all Aziraphale's businesses, too. Aziraphale and Crowley's because they're both the bookshop and Whickber Street. The shopkeepers and traders exist in their own rights but they also exist to highlight stuff about Crowley and Aziraphale and their story.

The two angels who come into the shop in S2-- Gabriel and Muriel-- help further define the books metaphor, imho. Muriel, established to be really lonely, asks Crowley at the end if they can "take a book" with them because "books are like people, only portable." Gabriel spends the season trying to rearrange the books in what winds up being metaphorical for how he sees people. He doesn't need categories or labels or genres and he doesn't judge by their covers-- it's just open up the book, read what it's saying, and group it alongside others by its words. Yes, it gets you some wild bookshelves and possibly the inability to ever find any book ever again lol but, if we're talking about people? It's a great idea. Gabriel and Muriel see books as people because that's who wrote them-- they're the ideas of other living beings and represent their lives. Aziraphale being an avid collector of books and protective of them and careful in preserving their history is, to me, reflecting how much he loves humanity and his ongoing quest to understand life-- pretty much in the same way that us humans love books.

Agreed on the clutter and the million desks and everything in the shop being symbolic of Aziraphale's inner state. I'd also say that it's actually also symbolic of Crowley's, too-- more than it might appear at first to be. He was never really safe in his Hell-owned flat in S1. The bookshop is his home, too--and also, I'd wager, why he never got another flat after Shax took his old one. He could have just gotten another flat or we could have seen him living in a hotel or something in S2. Instead, he's fooling Hell into thinking that he's living entirely in his car while he's really only there for a couple of hours in the morning because it also serves to make it look like he's saying "look at poor me here in my car! I'm definitely not living with the angel!" 😂 I think it's also why Aziraphale never notices that Crowley lost his flat. Why would he when Crowley just basically lives in the shop most nights, all Romeo sneaking out of Juliet's bed before dawn (one of the things which "no nightingales" references being that bit of Shakespeare's play, likely really written by one of them, probably Aziraphale)?

Crowley stays most of the night and goes out the side door before the sun comes up to avoid them getting caught. Those are basically "the rules" of their relationship that Aziraphale refers to in Lockdown, I think. If we go back up to the pictures of the bookshop that the OP was kind enough to provide, we can see that side door on the right-- built in as part of Aziraphale's design in the part of the shop that opens into the alleyway, not on Whickber Street. The bookshop was likely built on an angle just for that purpose. The bookshop's side door is directly opposite Mrs. Sandwich's building and that's probably how she and Crowley became friendly-- they ran into each other in the alley at night. It's a bit of sleight-of-hand from our no-stranger-to-the-art-of-prestidigitation magician. Anyone watching Aziraphale would be looking at the front door of the bookshop and be far less likely to notice Crowley slip out the side door in the dark. No Bentley parked in front of the shop when Crowley's staying past business hours, as well, as what else could scream "totally fucking" more than Crowley's ridiculously recognizable car on the curb in front of the shop at 3am?

Also why/how Crowley was in his car on a side street a fast two minute drive away from the bookshop first thing in the morning in 2.01. The way these two just want to wake up together and have breakfast in peace... 😢

<<It also works with the fire and the reconstitution of the bookshop going with the discorporation and re-constitution via Adam of Aziraphale and the book shop (and the Bentley, that is interesting as Crowley did not die, hmm, further thought perhaps there for me)>>

Yes! That's what I think, too. The Bentley burning is interesting because Crowley's kind of going through a paralleling kind of thing but maybe not quite the same thing. The Bentley goes on fire because Crowley drives it through the ring of fire around the M-25, right? As he's about to, we flashback and see that Crowley influenced the building of the M-25--so, the highway is symbolic of Crowley having made his own mess and him having to get himself out of it. If he didn't, it would have eventually consumed him because he was literally trapped inside it. He's breaking free of his own stuff versus Aziraphale getting kind of accidentally caught in his own web a bit.

The bookshop is Aziraphale's M-25-- it's the "same daily round" that he's stuck in, like the horoscope God read. I'm sure he didn't want it to burn entirely. It is his home and he loves his books and all of his things and wouldn't have wanted to have lost all of them but you know that scene for which they made that concept art but then cut out of the end of 2.02? The one where the bookshop is the only thing that's survived an apocalypse and was supposed to be someone's dream?

Yeah, I bet that was going to be Aziraphale's dream. His nightmare, really. He's seen so many horrors in the whole history of Earth and remained past so much death and his nightmare would be having to see Earth destroyed so the bookshop kind of representing him there in the dream in that way, maybe? But also a nightmare in the sense that Aziraphale feels like he cannot get the hell out of the bookshop. He feels trapped in it because of how it represents how he tries to balance all the different facets of his life. His whole breakdown comes about as a result of basically just being like fuck this, I can't take it anymore-- everyone come on in at once, we're having a party! and then promptly, understandably, having an anxiety attack over exactly that. It's the angel who is going too fast in S2, not the demon.

<<but I also like to believe he doesn't sleep, in my opinion due to trauma, and I can't quite figure that bit out yet. Is it lazy writing or did he exaggerate or have pyjamas for show?>>

I'll agree with you that I don't think that Aziraphale sleeps well a lot of the time. I can definitely see that and for the same trauma-related reasons you mentioned. He has problems sleeping at times-- nightmares, etc.. Like a lot of people, he also likely doesn't sleep or sleep very well when in one of his fasting (actually: depression) periods.

I believe the main thing that causes people to believe that Aziraphale doesn't sleep at all is the bit from the book where he's talking about how he and Crowley don't "need sleep" but... just read it again below and look at how Crowley phrases the last line of his reply:

Aziraphale didn’t rise to it. “What are we going to do now?”

“Try and get some sleep.”

“You don’t need sleep. I don’t need sleep. Evil never sleeps, and Virtue is ever-vigilant.”

“Evil in general, maybe. This specific part of it has got into the habit of getting its head down occasionally.”

I can practically hear Aziraphale's flirty/teasing tone here and the idea that that is what's happening is reinforced by the last line of Crowley's reply above. It's more common in most places, even if it sometimes happens in Britain, to say "laying your head down" to refer to sleep, as opposed to saying "getting [your] head down." If you lay your head down, you're going to sleep. If you get your head down, you're simply moving your head down to a lower position... do you see where I'm going with this? 😂

Now, add into it that he also uses in the sentence the word habit, which isn't just something one does consistently but the head covering of a nun... and now take a little trip around things like how we say that people who are lovers are "sleeping together" and sleep being phrased as to "rest your head" while still also the head being not just the place where the brain is stored but the tip of the penis and getting that "down" would be to satisfy an erection and "to get/give head" being slang for oral sex and we're circling what the sleep paragraph in the book is really more about than just actual sleep.

Crowley does sleep but he's referring more to the fact that he's "gotten in the habit" of "getting his head down"-- aka going down on Aziraphale. That's the kind of rest he's suggesting they have, beyond some actual shut-eye-- probably a bit of both.

Crowley also uses the word occasionally here-- a word that comes from the Latin cadere, which means... to fall. If you were a pair of wordplay-happy supernatural entities who ushered in the so-called Fall of Man together-- and one of you is a fallen angel and the other is called Mr. Fell and you both fell in love with one another a long time ago-- you'd absolutely love flirting using words that link to the verb meaning to fall as euphemistic for making love, particularly for falling/going down on one another.

As such, when Crowley uses occasionally in this part of the book, it doesn't mean 'every once in a while' so much as it means 'as the occasion calls for it' and there's plenty of reason to assume that it there are plenty of occasions...

This word is also in the series. It's in Aziraphale's innuendo-laden, verbally italicized use of "special occasions" in 1.01:

Around the 14th and 15th centuries, special actually meant a person's lover or romantic partner. It's really only sort-of survived into today in use of the phrase "special someone" and that is slightly different than calling someone your "special", the way it was apparently done in those earlier centuries. A "special occasion", in Ineffable Husbands Speak, would definitely be a reason to celebrate outside of the usual ones, yes, but it also appears to be going down on your sweetheart, which is what Aziraphale is expressing interesting in doing in that 1.01 scene.

Here's where we can just say now after S2 that the above "special occasions" scene is even funnier because Aziraphale isn't telling Crowley anything about the wine that he doesn't already know, as he and Aziraphale were drinking from that stash of Chateauneuf-de-Pape back in 1941, Part 2. Aziraphale was likely bringing it up in that 1.01 moment, in part, so he can say the words around it. How many cases did Aziraphale pick up for his "occasions" with his special? A "sleep"-relevant number: a dozen. 😂 That joke has apparently grown on him since when Crowley made it in 1601...

This also all gets even funnier when you add in the other, descriptive passage about Crowley and sleep from the book, which has lines like: Crowley likes sleep, it was one of the pleasures of the world. True of both sleep and sex and the rest of the paragraph talks about sleep but using sentences the word choice for which makes them alternately appear to be about sleep and sex or worded in such a way as to be applicable both at once, all reinforcing the idea of sleep having an euphemistic layer to it.

Aziraphale's response to Crowley's suggestion that they "try to get some sleep" in the book is often taken really literally, I think, when the tone is actually kind of light and flirty. It's basically the same tone as this, similar scene from the series:

In the book, it's more clever use of puns. Virtue-- Aziraphale, here-- is a word that just originally a human man and "manliness" and then came to mean good moral character. Virtue, says Aziraphale with tongue-in-cheek, is "ever-vigilant." Vigilant means-- literally-- to be awake. Virtue is a word used in religious circles with a nod towards chastity and "purity"-- the opposite of "sin", like that of Adam and Eve-- so Aziraphale seems to be dryly saying that, as an angel, he's supposed to be Virtue itself-- the epitome of virtuosity-- but he's more of the word's original definition of a human man... one who might supposed to be "ever-vigilant"-- always awake, so, euphemistically, never getting any wink wink sleep-- but they both know that's not true because, as we've learned, Crowley's gotten in the habit of getting his head down on frequent occasions.

Adding to the Adam and Eve/Fall of Man & "occasionally" meaning to fall theme is that they're prompted by Aziraphale using the idiom "evil never sleeps" as a joke about Crowley-- referencing Eve in there. Evil sounding phonetically like "Eve-il". Another, similar joke in which they are paralleling themselves to Adam & Eve is them going off to have lunch (and "lunch") at the end of 1.06, with Crowley referring to them going to have food and sex together by saying: "Time to leave The Garden. Let me tempt you to a spot of lunch?"

So, anyway, the bit of the book that people use to justify the idea that Aziraphale doesn't sleep isn't really saying that he doesn't, imho, and there's nothing in the tv series that suggests that, either. Sleep-- and I'm just talking about sleep now here lol-- is obviously restorative and it can be peaceful. Technically, Aziraphale is correct that they don't "need" it. They could, theoretically, probably survive for all of eternity without ever sleeping a wink, etc.... but that's what they'd be doing-- just surviving. There's a big difference between living and just not dying. Being able to subsist without having something is not the same thing as not needing it.

What I think Crowley and Aziraphale have discovered in living on Earth for all this time is that their their human bodies like and need what other a lot of human bodies like and/or need. Even if they can, technically, survive without these things, they also realize that doing so is not actually healthy or pleasurable or really living. If they didn't have the capacity to need and enjoy living like humans, they wouldn't have human bodies. The things that exist for the humans and are necessary for them exist for them, too. Their bodies work better and they feel better when they breathe and eat and sleep and talk with one another. They need nature and art and companionship the same way that the humans do. Like some humans do, they both enjoy sex and feel romantic love. They could, technically, remain alive without all of these things but being alive is not the same thing as living.

Aziraphale knows that he needs to eat to feel healthy-- that food can affect how his mind and body feel and perform-- as much as he just enjoys eating. I think sleep might be the same thing for him. He struggles with it a lot in ways similar to any person who has been through traumatic events and has related mental health issues but I think he does try to sleep. I honestly cannot imagine being completely awake for over six millennia without a break from the world. Aziraphale is also an introvert so I think he might find the idea of taking a rest from people for awhile extra-appealing, even if he might have felt guilty about wanting to sometimes. I think he probably didn't sleep for the first couple of thousand years, though-- if he hadn't tried food until 2500 B.C., it's probably likely that he hadn't allowed himself to try to sleep prior to that either. He might have needed Crowley to show him how or at least help him give himself permission to try it at some point.

Aziraphale also likes to eat and drink and fuck and there's a certain threshold of those activities that, when crossed, requires at least a nap lol. There's also maybe just Crowley's sleeping habits as a potential suggestion of Aziraphale's. When Aziraphale comes back from Edinburgh in S2, Crowley tells him that he didn't sleep at all the prior night while Aziraphale was gone.

This is suggestive of what other things, like Lockdown, suggest, which is that Crowley has a human sleep routine, more or less. He can survive without a night's sleep probably better than any of us can but he does feel the effects of it if he doesn't sleep. So, this being who technically doesn't need sleep--or has been told to think such a thing is true, anyway-- knows he really does and goes to bed at night most nights the same way that we do. It's also healthy for him to at least try to do so. He has PTSD and an anxiety disorder-- he needs sleep to manage that, even if sleep is often the first thing to be disturbed by it, which is basically what Crowley says happened while Aziraphale was in Edinburgh. (How much of the reason why Crowley couldn't sleep was Gabriel-related anxiety and how much was Crowley having trouble sleeping without Aziraphale is debatable...)

So, if we go with the idea that Crowley basically lives in the bookshop at night until before dawn and that he has been doing that most nights for awhile now and if we add in that he also canonically sleeps for a bit at night each night, then Crowley goes to bed like a human at some point each night in the bookshop. It seems likely that Aziraphale goes to bed with him. They both would inevitably sleep better with one another nearby.

Aziraphale staying in that bed after Crowley leaves in the early morning, though, is probably another story. I tend to think that he struggles with the bed if Crowley's not there and will get up after he's gone and have tea or go to Give Me Coffee or do basically anything to try to distract himself from the misery of his Crowley-free mornings.

I'm sure what had him reject Crowley hunkering down during the lockdowns was just that he didn't think he could handle having Crowley there in the mornings, only to have to go back to him leaving after the lockdowns were over. I'm still not totally sure that they didn't actually wind up maybe doing that anyway-- at minimum, I think Crowley apparated over after the phone call, but I don't know that he stayed-- but, either way, this is why they just need to get to the South Downs Cottage, dammit.

Speaking of the bookshop, theories on what could be upstairs?

ooooo the BIG QUESTION.

so we can see a bit of the second floor in all these pics:

basically all we know for sure is there are A LOT MORE BOOKS, both stacked around the railing and on the circle of shelves. neil has decided not to comment on what else might be there (YET 👀) but he’s confirmed that much.

apart from that, we can see from the outside that there are six windows on the second floor:

i’m going to assume they’re part of the shop because they’re Very On Fire when the rest of the shop is on fire. SO. taking all that into account, you end up with something like this:

where the thin grey circle is the railing and the brown one is the bookshelves (as you can see in the first pic, it doesn’t circle all the way around!)

the rest is a complete mystery. i mean i’m sure the actual set was empty because they didn’t need to fill it, but in theory there’s room for some interesting stuff! with the first floor for scale i can imagine a whole flat built around that circle of shelves — a bed aziraphale never sleeps in, comfy chairs, every other angel knick-knack he’s encountered in his life. in my personal headcanon it’s all books and hoarded items covered in dust, which he leaves for authenticity.

thank you for asking!! i’d love to hear other people’s thoughts if they want to share :)

[xserpx]

morse for the ask game?

How I feel about this character?

(Caveating this with the fact I haven't yet watched Inspector Morse, so this is only about Endeavour.)

Normally I'm not at all a fan of whump and I don't like feeling sad for well-meaning characters who are hurt repeatedly through (mostly) no fault of their own, but I really love Morse's brand of melancholia. The way he struggles to deal with change is too damn real, I'm a sucker for characters who struggle to voice their feelings and whose anxiety causes them to say nothing, because bitch me too. I also like that he's shy but it's kind of a selective shyness? Like if you catch him at the right moment or say a certain thing, he can be very snappish and outspoken and even funny, but then in those (incredibly important!) moments where he feels truly vulnerable, he just clams up, and it's heartbreaking and delicious to watch.

It's also undeniable that he is a massive prick sometimes. His treatment of women, his pretentiousness, there are moments when I want to slap him upside the head and I'm like you deserve this shit buddy! Monica my beloved, she deserved so much better from him. As much as he craves deeper connections with people and as much as I really want him to find a place to belong and settle down, it's so clear why he can't, why he shouldn't, and it's so deep rooted that in a way if he actually made a more concerted to change and do better he'd pretty much be a different person. And I like that the show never compromises on providing answers or catharsis for his struggles. Change happens, that's life, and there's often no way to deal with it that doesn't hurt.

I also love his dark academia style and the way it's grounded in finding meaning/belonging. It's not that it doesn't give him a sense of superiority at times, but like... that was his rebellion in the face of anti-intellectualism and abuse at home, and in a way I feel like he's earned the right to that pretentiousness. I think it dilutes some of the intimidating effect that opera and classics and poetry can have - some people listen to the Beatles, he listens to Wagner, one thing isn't "better" than another - but without binning it off entirely so that we still get to enjoy the commentary on classism. Plus watching him school the Oxford dons is always fun :P.

All the people I ship romantically with this character?

Romantically, hmm... The trouble is I end up feeling sorry for either Morse himself or whatever woman he's got his eye on at the time!

I love Joan and Morse, and I'd love for them to work things out, but the more time passes the less and less suited they seem to be. It's one of those relationships that's more about yearning than it is about getting together. They struggle to communicate and they're constantly miserable. He puts her on a pedestal because of her family, and Joan likes him because he's an enigma, and they can't move past that. But at the same time, fanfic exists for a reason, and I still love the yearning despite it all.

I'm not sure if I ship it romantically per se, but Max is another one where I feel like they could be more than friends, they're very Sherlock and Watson (and this fic by gaytobymeres is so good I love it). That scene with Morse and Max having tea in Max's garden is one of my favourites in the series, and I want that life for Morse so badly! Literalllyyy at the end of Exeunt I was like dude just move in with Max!! He'll never leave Oxford! He'll come along to your choral recitals! You have way more interests in common than any of your girlfriends have thus far! And he's lonely too, bless him ;w;.

My non-romantic OTP for this character?

I don't think there's a single character I don't ship Morse with platonically?? All I want in the world is a pub quiz fic featuring all of Cowley CID (and Trewlove) but I'm not clever or patient enough to write it. I wish we had more teamwork episodes tbh, and I think that's the best thing about seasons 5 & 6 (as dissipated as CID is at the start, that just makes them coming back together all the more heartwarming).

Morse & Thursday are of course the freaking bedrock of the show, they're just insanely good and I genuinely want them to be together forever. As much as he misses Joan at the end, I really want a happy ending where Thursday and Morse can stay together. At the same time, what with the whole men in the 60s reinforcing one another's emotional repression, I kind of wonder what would've happened if Thursday had been able to steer Morse in a different direction, and if it would have had a knock-on effect with helping Morse express his feelings for Joan and maybe end up somewhere better. But their characters are so intertwined it's hard to separate out the what-ifs. I do think Thursday had more of an impact on Morse than Morse did on Thursday, but you could maybe chalk that up to age. Leopards don't change their spots, etc. Still... lamenting lost potential is what grief is.

I'm also a huge fan of Morse & Trewlove tbh, he's so relaxed around her?? He tells her stuff he never tells anyone else?? They fake marry?? Ridiculously sweet. They share the trait of being incredibly dedicated and detailed in their work, and it bleeds over into a genuine appreciation for one another that they don't really have with any of their other colleagues (save for maybe Trewlove & Bright, another fantastic platonic OTP in my book). I also can see them being friends w bennies but I def don't ship them romantically.

My unpopular opinion about this character?

Not sure if I have one tbh. I haven't been here long but I generally think the wider fandom has it right about most things. Maybe not including Jakes as some brand of OTP? I feel bad because I love Peter, I just don't see him and Morse being particular friends any more than Morse and Jim are tbh.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Um, happiness. Just, all the happiness. I wish he could communicate better. I wish he'd had a better childhood. I wish his house hadn't been burgled and that he could still listen to Rosalind Calloway without taking emotional damage. I wish he hadn't been beaten down and that he could feel secure and safe, and have a fulfilled life outside of work. Great tragedies always keep the happy ending in sight, and Endeavour does that incredibly, painfully, well.

If I had to choose something specific to have happened in the show, I guess I would have liked to see more of Joyce. I'm fascinated by their relationship and I really loved every cameo from Morse's past that we saw, plus episodes like Cartouche with cousin Carol. Tbf I have heard that Joyce shows up more in Inspector Morse, so... 👀

[drenched-in-sunlight]

people bending over backwards to scream Marika never loved Messmer when he alone has more blessings personally bestowed by her than any other demigods combined are so funny to me. also the fact that it's implied he used to live in Leyndell too 😂😂

also she killed an entire god herself and made sure said God is called all manner of names and depict as ugly forever. for him 😂😂

[skarkkk]

It was fucking rape. That's my fucking point of view.

What do you mean he liked it? What do you mean it was cheating? What do you mean I like her?

It was rape, there is no other interpretation other than rape.

Robby lived with two addicts and yet he was abandoned in a bar with free access to alcohol, and that's where it started.

He got drunk for the first time, he drank for the first time and he has no resistance to alcohol because he stays away as best he can for the simple fact that his parents were addicts who never cared about him. So he wanted to forget what was happening, to repress all of this and he turned to alcohol because where else would he go when everyone didn't give a damn about him, or his situation with Tory or his emotions? Where else was he supposed to go when his example of dealing with emotions is aggression and addiction? So he drank. He drank to a level where he couldn't formulate a response, a sentence, when Kwon came to talk to him and provoke him, and we know that if he was sober he would have done something. It was obvious on his own face listening to Kwon that he was spaced out, drunk, and then Zara approached him. And took him to her room, from where he came out the next morning. No memory of the night before, a headache, and still looking out of it, as we can see when she kissed him and he didn't even react to it. The level of alcohol this requires is the level of alcohol that prevents someone from giving consent.

— I barely remember last night

— Good thing I do

Can we see the exact connotation that something happened? That she actually took advantage of the boy who couldn't speak to give consent, who couldn't think to say no, who was too drunk for this to be acceptable? The fact that she shows no remorse whatsoever for this happening and yet kisses him again.

Besides the fact that the writers themselves are treating it like it's some kind of cheating with Tory, the characters themselves acting like he's not a vulnerable person being raped by someone who knows better?

I hate her and I hate the writers for making this like it's nothing. I don't want to be that girl, but being that girl, if the roles were reversed, would this be in the show? Would this be treated that way? Or would they actually treat it like the SA situation that it is?

From the beginning, you can see her interest in Robby - starting with that scene in the captains' photo shoot where she talks to Tory. She knows he's in a relationship. All those teasing scenes with Tory. Her taking advantage of Robby. Then the fight scene.

— You chose her over me?

Like, girl, what the fuck did you expect? He doesn't know you, he doesn't like you, you raped him and you're going after his girlfriend - the person he loves? How high is your ego to even consider that he would choose you? Axel's obsession with Sam I can understand more, although I still have my doubts. She was the first person to understand and see his situation with his sensei, she was friendly and he developed a protectiveness towards her. Although his attitude towards Miguel was wrong, he didn't rape Sam or act like a bitch towards her.

Iron Dragons and their obsession with the Miyagi-Do captains.

Zara Malik and the fact that she raped Robby Keene.

[wundergeek]

Excerpt from a 4K word fic of me being Very Normal About G'raha along these lines - - -

THEN

I returned, dazed, to the bottom of the lift.

Alisaie gave me a too-innocent smile. "How was your talk with the Exarch?"

Shit. She knew. Of course she knew.

I fought down a surge of panic. We'd never made what we had official - in fact, Alisaie had shut me down every time I'd tried to mention my burgeoning feelings. But she still deserved to know that I'd kissed someone else. "Alisaie, I..."

"You want to fuck the Exarch," she said, smirking.

My cheeks burned. "It's complicated," I mumbled.

Which it was. I'd kissed the Exarch, but I wasn't sure I wanted to fuck him. On the other hand, I'd wanted to fuck G'raha, but never got a chance to kiss him.

"I don't know how I feel about fucking the Exarch, but I did kiss him. And I'd like to do it again. But. I won't if you don't want me to."

To my relief, Alisaie shook her head. "No promises, remember? We could all die tomorrow, so why not chase what happiness you can today?" She rolled her eyes and punched me fondly in the arm. "Besides. Do I look foolish enough to think I can put a fence around a heart big enough to love the entire world?"

For the second time that day, profound, unutterable relief. She understood. "Thank you."

Alisaie waved her hand airily. "If you want to thank me, go get your boy."

I laughed.

- - -

NOW

The soul vessel is pulsing slowly, but G'raha is still unconscious. My magical senses tell me something seems to be happening, but it's happening a lot slower than it did with the Scions.

"Gods damn it, G'raha." I snap. "I had to watch you die, so if you haven't somehow managed to pull this rabbit out of your hat, I'm going to be... very cross with you." My voice breaks as the last comes out as a sob.

I put my head on my knees and weep.

I've cried myself out and am sitting there, trembling miserably, when G'raha finally stirs and opens his eyes. I see recognition, followed by confusion reflected in his red eyes. "Savvel?"

"G'raha!" I manage to give him a watery smile, but my heart is still in my throat. "How much do you remember?"

He blinks as he searches his memories. "I remember Elidibus," he says slowly. "And climbing the Crystal Tower and... Gods. Oh Gods, I remember turning--" I shush him as I pull him into my arms and stroke his back. He sobs and buries his face in my neck.

"I've got you, G'raha. We're in the Source. You're okay." My voice breaks, and I realize that I'm grinning like a fool and crying at the same time. "Everybody is okay."

"Everybody? ...really?"

"You're the last to wake up, on account of all the pesky security systems you've got around here."

G'raha laughs weakly, and it hits me all at once that somehow we did it. We won, and he's okay - better than okay! - he's alive, awake, and seems to have all his memories intact. My arms tighten convulsively around him and I nuzzle into his hair. "You're an idiot and I forbid you from sacrificing yourself again," I choke out. "Do you hear me?"

G'raha laughs again, and I can hear the smile in his voice when he says, "sometimes sacrifices have to be made."

"No." My voice is firm, the most firm, and I am definitely not giggling. "I don't accept that."

"You wouldn't."

And then G'raha's mouth is on mine. We kiss in a delicious frenzy of mouths and hands and moaning, so much moaning, and I realize that Alisaie was correct. I do want to fuck the Exarch.

Read the whole fic on AO3

G'raha, I would die for you

Okay. Replaying Shadowbringers rn and G'raha just got abducted by Emet-Selch, and this whole scene hits just as hard on the fourth play-through as it did on the first. Look at this fuckin face. This is the face of a man who loved you from a distance for A HUNDRED YEARS assuming you didn't even remember his fucking name, until you call out to him just as he's about to sacrifice his life for yours.

He's about to teleport himself into the Rift and fuckin' die, and still, that proof that you remember him, that you matter to him makes him so fucking happy.

And. Like. Take a minute to think about that.

Not only did he come up with this insane scheme to rewrite history, then actually have the brilliance to pull it off, but... he has lived MULTIPLE LIFETIMES for you, and walked into this situation anyway, fully thinking that he was going to die, and totally prepared to sacrifice more than anyone could possibly comprehend. Like - imagine living long enough to see the small community of refugees you harbored to grow into a vibrant city. Imagine being part of their lives as the first residents of the Crystarium have children, grow old, and die, even as their children are having children of their own.

Imagine an attack that happens during that second generation that kills a couple with a young child and taking her in because she has no one to care for her. Imagine taking time, despite all of your responsibilities and literally being on the clock to save the world, to raise her to be strong, loyal, and unfailingly excellent at what she does. She isn't your blood, but she's the closest thing you'll ever have to a daughter, and still you don't hesitate to leave when it's time to see your scheme through to its ultimate end - your ultimate end.

Imagine what it would have been like making those final preparations without being able to tell anyone that you were saying goodbye.

Imagine having tea with Chessamile and agreeing with her that you need to do this more often.

Imagine discussing improvements to the Crystarium with Katliss that you know you'll never see.

Imagine gossiping with Bragi and knowing you'll never get to hear how things turned out.

Imagine visiting Moren to give him a book and saying nothing as he insists that he'll return it to you when he's finished.

Imagine having lunch with Lyna, your daughter, who will find herself in charge when you're gone, and having to give her instructions about what to do in the event of your death.

Imagine having that much love in your life - an entire city that you built from the ground up, and whose residents you loved with all your heart, and who loved you just as strongly. And calmly bidding that entire life farewell as you take an amaro to Kholusia to rewrite history by saving the life of the person you love, thinking that you were nothing more than a minor footnote in their previous adventures. Then imagine finding out at the literal last second that they not only remember, but cared deeply about you the entire time, and still having the strength of will to sacrifice yourself anyway.

What an icon. What an absolute fucking legend.

[sleeptokenpuppy]

my tags

drift's tags

the tags drift was referring to

the thing about loving sleep token is that you can tell he's Been Through Some Shit if those are the lyrics he writes. you see clips of him trembling and weeping as he performs and you know those songs mean so so much to him. they mean so much to you too.

then eventually you see old clips, where he's young, and he's Going Through It, and your heart breaks even more.

but you look at those old clips knowing something he doesn't.

you know he's going to make it.

you know he's going to survive what he's going through, build a loyal following over the years, become your favorite metal band's favorite metal band, and then go fucking viral.

sell out wembley. play red rocks and radio city. open for linkin fucking park on their comeback tour. in fucking paris!

you know he's going to change lives. save lives, even if he won't take credit for it.

at that point, he definitely doesn't know that yet.

at that point, you can see he's struggling. you can sit here in 2024 and look back on baby vessel - and we call him baby vessel, i think, not just because he's so much younger there, but because there's a specifically youthful sort of pain so visible in him in that era.

and it just...

i remember how that youthful pain feels, and the uncertainty of self that comes with it. if you went through shit when you were younger, you know it too.

he means so much to you that you wish with all your might you could soothe that pain the way he soothed yours.

[ixcaliber]

trying to finish as much as i can off playstation plus before letting my subscription end and one of those things was the bioshock infinite burial at sea dlc and oh my fucking god what an absolutely atrotrious experience. incredibly somehow worse than bioshock infinite (a game i hold no affection for) and may be one of the worst video game experiences i've ever had.

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends | "He took the money because I forced him to. I admired him. He seemed to live a tough life. So I gave him the money. Don't be mad at him."

Over the series, Ray has harboured an obvious complex over whether Sand may be interested in him due to his wealth - a complex which funnily enough he established by offering to pay Sand to spend time with him from the get go. From the morning after they slept together, Sand makes a point of turning down Ray's money as he now deems him a friend.

Episode 11 is proof that Ray has taken to heart what Sand taught him in Episode 4 and what he has more recently come to learn in Episode 10. Ray could easily pay for Sand and all his needs, but that's not the point. Sand wants to earn his own way and to be seen as capable of doing so, without taking advantage of anyone in the process.

Ray is no longer throwing money at Sand as a means to placate or as leverage. Instead he puts his money towards supporting Sand's dreams, his passions. Intentional gifts that prioritise Sand's happiness, rather than as a gesture of frivolity or force of habit.

When Ray says "I'll pay anything for you", it's his way of saying 'this is the least I can do to take care of you when you do so much for me.' Ray may still feel like he doesn't bring much to the table, but what he can offer is his wealth. Rather than this being a point of insecurity, he can now regard it as a privilege that can be extended to Sand as stability, as support, as love. 'I know you don't need my money. But I am happy to provide for you.'

[nuclearnerves]

that one post thats like "tumblr name a woman challege (impossible)"