#i love you so damn you and they don't deserve you

[lesbianherald]

my hatemail for you is that coming home is too fucking good and im having a hard time finding other jayvik fics that hit like it hit >:( im too new here to have already found my "The Javik Fic" dammit!!!! (p.s. have a good new year <3)

heeheheheeh thank you stuff like this means so much !

but also maybe i can HELPPP

there are some incredible fics out there that deserve so much love and recognition so here's a list of some of my absolute faves!

to swim through the fires – to stay in this world by theroyalsavage (M)

literally adore the character writing in this one and the tone. i found myself relating to and enjoying the style so much.

wound care (E) by Sinister_Queer

call me a child of divorce but I really struggle with fics where they're divorced, but this one is so with it. such an incredible, well-thought-out world and love that is so tangible between them.

advanced particle physics (the laws of attraction may apply) (E) by Sinister_Queer

fuck i didn't realize these were written by the same person until I did this list holy shit I want to give this person a kidney. I'm very picky about modern AUs probably because I had to think about my own so much. but this is just. so so good. The Jayce in this is EXQUISITE!!!

Love was the Law (E) by ruinthatboy

she's the most popular girl in school and I don't care because I'm still going to be singing her praises. incredible fic.

i read the signs (E) by vavavavoom

this is fucking phenomenal. i'd say its more vikjayce because we have defender jayce and machine herald vik, though its also set in an alternate reality from league. it has just, delicious epistolary elements. such good relationship building. it's so hard in a situation like theirs to believe they're fall in love but the author really. makes. you. believe it.

heavy crown (E) by vavavavoom

another absolute banger from this author. i love reading from an author that characterizes differently than you, but still so goddamn WELL. I feel the longing and tension in this and how that wars with duty. it's so marvelous.

hearts in halves (E) by vavavoom

i really struggle with mythology adaptations because they're deceptively hard to pull off but this author did it so damn well. The UGHHH!!!. THE PINING !!! THE WANT !!! AHHH!!!! I literally do not understand how it has not gotten more attention.

the blessing of all that you dreamed (M) by nightlilly

such an interesting one where the set up is similar to their lab dynamic in season 1 but viktor happens to be a really cool original fantasy being who can show people their deepest desires, which obviously gives then-oblivious jayce a crisis. so so good?

let's talk about chemistry cause I'm dying to melt through to the heart of {his} molecules (M) by the_RiftWalker

the love between them is so palpable in this one. they just feel so real. i relate to viktor a lot in this one - just really exquisite work.

inside the starshine by sepiacigarettes (E)

short and sweet and sexy with 👏PINING 👏LOVESTRUCK👏VIKTOR👏

Started out with a Kiss (T) by CasperCryptid

if you need to smile read this. its an adorable very silly drabble that somehow still manages to pack in some signature jayvik longing.

Perfect (M) by TheTrickyOwl

one of my first Jayvik fics i ever read from the one and only and oh my god. the raw emotion in this is so sweet.

Nothing Left to Lose (M) by TheTrickyOwl

same emotions as in perfect but in a devastatingly depressing context. is so so worth the read. so stunning and just brought up so many feelings.

tell me when my hunting days are done (E) by dualwelding

Dark and depressing Vampirism where the change Jayce makes to viktor after he almost dies is turning him into a vampire with insatiable bloodlust. it's such a gut punch and its sexy and I love it!

And finally...

I really hesitated to put anything of my own in this list because these authors are so damn good but I do have two others other than coming home (but not to you). I actually am more proud of here at the end so I wanted to throw it at people against their will.

Here at the End of All Things (M)

Follows old Man AU Mage Viktor's decades of solitude and the aftermath of his meeting with Jayce

In the After (E)

wrote this right after season 2 as a way to cope. was high on these new meds that weren't working the whole time so uhh. i can't attest to this one. she's my stepchild. but I have an inherent affection for her due to the time I wrote it. - follows what might happen after Jayce and Viktor vanished.

[rie-092]

Hi, i love ypur dinamic.

When I read lycris number 8 I inmediatly tough of Claude de Alber Obelia.

Maybe where the reader is someone whi he grow up and it could be Athanasio or Felix Fiance/wife <3

EVENT'S ENTRY OO1 : POSSESSION

[ yandere! claude de alger obelia ]

note: here's the link about the event! i love this prompt. this would be fun!

okay, let's start with the time before everything became messy.

there is one reason why you became anastacius's wife despite the two of you being way too young to get married. they wanted to tie your family down to the imperial family and anastacius was the one who acted as a shackle to make sure that your family will stay still and be the imperial family's loyal dog.

but honestly, being in the imperial family wasn't that bad. because you have anastacius and his younger brother, claude who was still young that time.

the first time you met claude, there's only one thing that came into your mind. why in the hell did they abuse this cute little creature?

that's the reason how you and anastacius became claude's salvation inside the imperial palace.

you always plays with him, spend time with him, hell, you even go far on firing those maids who put sand on claude's soup (you're the crown princess and you have the every rights to do so, duh.)

but there is still this small doubt inside his mind. that this peace won't stay forever and there is a high chance that you will change once you grew up and realize that he was lacking in many aspects.

and that doubt was only fueled when anastacius slowly changed.

and anastacius started isolating you. and he started prohibiting you as well as claude from visiting each other. and that's how everything became messy.

you see, this is the main reason why claude lost it. the gentle facade that he created for you and anastacius. his confidence, his emotions, his everything as well as his mother.

but don't worry, this wasn't his boiling point. he still had lady margarita (forgot her name, my baddd). while you escape time to time to spend time with him.

he remembered back then, before his big brother's betrayal. when the two of you escaped the palace to play. he remembered it clearly, the time you said that you were on his side. and you will remain as his friend forever.

unknown to you, this only fuels the unhealthy feelings that he suppress for years. because hell, you were his big brother's wife!

and congrats! now you had a possessive and obsessive yandere who sees love as ownership! and damn, he will not let you escape, after all, you were his right?

and fast forward to the time where claude discovered lady margarita and anastacius' betrayal. instead of feeling betrayed, this man was delighted as hell.

he can still clearly remember how he sent you a letter using his brother's name and inviting you to the room where lady margarita and anastacius was doing the deed.

he remembered how excited he was seeing the horror in your eyes.

ahh, don't blame him. you left him no choice after all. because he knew that deep inside, you started on having a feeling towards his older brother.

and it's a big no because you were his.

and now, after all the shits happened. and he became the emperor. you suddenly said that you will now go back to your family?

no, no. how can you say that towards him, (name)? after all he did to keep you by his side? after all the blood that he spilled for you?

don't be surprise if you woke up in your palace, chained in your bed. and even had a collar with his name on it.

you made him do this so basically, this wasn't his fault. you made him insecure, you made him panic. so, technically, you deserve this.

oh, by the way. starving yourself to death won't work against claude because he won't hesitate to force you on eating. or even killing your family in front of you.

just give up, ( name ). because you were his as much as he was yours.

now, be a good girl and help him raise athanasia well, okay? <3

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

“ ahh, dear. stop being annoying or i would be the one to hold you down and put this damn food in your mouth. hmm? you don't like that right? now be a good girl and listen to me, okay? ”

[harrietswriting]

Hihi! Im so sorry if this is pushing a boundary or something, but personally, I struggle with an eating disorder. I was wondering if you could write like a Curtis sister imagine where one of them finds out that reader is dealing with an ed and tells the other brothers? Just like a shit ton of angst + comfort. Again, I’m so sorry if this is pushing some sort of boundary. I hope you have a lovely day 🫶🏻

Your Brothers Found Out You Have an ED

Curtis Brothers x gn!sibling!reader

An: I wish everyone out there struggling with an ed the best of luck at recovery. Yall are beautiful and deserve the world. 💕 I hope this is kinda accurate. If it's not and it's weird then please let me know!

Word count: 750

W: discussion of ED, reader with ED, Darry is a bit insensitive at first

"I'm not really hungry, Darry." You stand in the kitchens entryway and mess with your sleeves as your older brother cooks dinner. "I ate earlier."

"Well, you need to stop doing that. You're always spoiling your dinner. When was the last time you ate with us, y/n?" He looks over at you.

Your cheeks flush and you avoid his eyes. It's been awhile since you've eaten dinner with them. You normally just drink a glass of water and talk about your day as they eat, trying to talk over the grumbling of your stomach. But you lie, "I ate that pasta you made a few nights ago." You had taken a bite of the Alfredo pasta, but you felt awfully guilty and regretted it.

Sodapop had been sitting in the dining room and had over heard your conversation with Darry. He'd noticed your lack of eating and was really worried about you. Maybe Darry couldn't see that something was wrong, but Soda could. He couldn't remember that last time he'd seen you eat a healthy amount of food. He's also noticed your abnormal weight loss and how fatigued you've been lately.

"I'll eat leftovers when I get hungry." You lie.

Darry sighs then goes back to cooking. "Okay, y/n."

"Sorry."

"Its fine, but you're eating with us tomorrow."

Damn it. You'd have to ask one of your friends if you could stay over or hang out at their house tomorrow evening to avoid that. But you say: "okay."

You turn around and walk out of the kitchen, heading towards your room. You try not to panic about potentially having to eat dinner tomorrow while you walk.

Soda watches you go towards your room. Hr waits until he hears the door close, then he gets up and heads into the kitchen.

"Hey Darry, we need to talk about y/n." Soda says.

Darry looks up from the pot he's stirring and gives Sodapop a questioning look. "What about 'em?"

Soda hesitates for a moment, then begins. "I don't think they're eating Darry. Like, at all. Or at least, not nearly enough."

Darry's saddened by this idea, and a long, sad, heartbreaking conversation follows. He doesn't want to believe Soda at first.

Ponyboy finally finished his homework and joined his brothers in the kitchen. His heart dropped when he heard what Soda thought.

"You really think... why would y/n do that?" He asks quietly.

Soda shrugs. "I don’t know. So, what do we do now? Do we have an intervention kind of thing?"

"Y/n is eating dinner with us." Darry states, then calls your name.

"Darry, I don’t know if rushing them into eating is the best idea." Soda counters.

You come out of your room and make your way to the kitchen where all three of your brothers are. "Yeah?"

"You're eating dinner with us." Darry crosses his arms. Soda looks at you sympatheticly and Ponyboy looks worried. They can't know, right?

"I ate earlier though." You say quietly, trying to mask your panic. Soda frowns.

"What'd you eat?" Darry asks.

You pause. "I.. I made eggs."

"Don't be a liar."

"I'm not-"

"Both of you stop." Soda interrupts, "Y/n, you're not eating, and we're worried about you. That's not good for you. I'm no genius, but I'm pretty sure eating a healthy amount of food is super important."

You stare at them, unsure of what to say. They know, so you can't deny it, but you don't want to admit it either.

Darry speaks, "This ends now, this not eating thing."

"It's not that easy." You mutter.

"It's a disorder, Darry." Pony chimes in. He glances at you then looks at the ground.

This sucks. You're feel helpless. You feel cornered. You can't get yourself out of this. Its embarrassing having them know, and its worring. Yeah, you need help, but sometimes you dont want it. You hug your arms around yourself as you look at the ground and tears blur your vision.

Darry sighs, walks over, and hugs you. "It's okay, y/n. You're not in trouble. We just want to help you." Soda joins in the hug, "Yeah, y/n." Then Ponyboy joins in too. You can't help but smile a little with your brothers hugging you. You know they love and care about you, and in this hug, you feel safe.

The group hug eventually breaks up. You sniffle and wipe your eyes. Soda looks at you tenderly. "How can we help you?"

an: argh! I hope this is sweet and lives up to your expectations. I didn't want to have the reader give specifics on how the brothers can help them in the fic, because everyone is different and needs different things.

[askthehylianchampion]

Blog runner here: I'm reblogging this because one it's important that people see that behaving in this way towards someone is NEVER ok. We as the blog runners are regularly talking boundaries and making sure each of us are having fun and not crossing lines. Apologizing when needed to each other. None of you: the viewers, should be taking this fun ROLEPLAYING so seriously as to send death threats or describe dismemberment in graphic detail. We are fucking human beings behind these blogs and if you want to continue to enjoy what we do, you treat us with respect.

Nobody is under any obligation to make a character behave a certain way. If you don't like their characterization? leave.

If it's such a big deal to you. Write an angry letter in your journal and burn it or make your own damn blog. But this behavior up above? Unacceptable.

I'm so sorry to the Harth blog runner. You never deserved anybody treating you like this and I hope you still want to enjoy playing fun pretend with us, because we love having you here 💜

(This is the blogger here, making a post that I never thought I'd be making, but due to recent events, regarding threads, and my inbox I feel like I need to)

First of @askthenewritoelder @asktheritochampion @asksakitherito @askaritobard @askthehylianchampion I want to make it make clear, none of you are at fault for this.

As @asktheritochampion said on their blog there has been no drama, or anything of the sort between us, just bloggers having fun with the characters, engaging, and creating fun scenario's for us to play out.

Unfortunately with that said, for the past couple of days, my inbox has been flooded with nothing but death threats to myself and the character of Harth.

I've had messages telling me to kill myself. I've had messages telling me they hope Harth commits suicide. I've had messages hoping Harth gets killed in his sleep by Tulin in graphic detail. I've had messages telling me they look forward to Teba stabbing Harth to death and taking Molli. I've had messages saying they hope Revali kidnaps Molli and kills Harth. I've had messages hoping Saki cooks Harth and feeds his remains to Rito Village. I've had messages telling me Harth is going to get hacked into pieces by Link, and he's going to eat him. I've had messages hoping I die for not falling in line and loving Revali like everyone else. I've had asks saying Harth should make a bow and shoot himself with it. etc...

It really is as bad as I'm describing. I sincerely wish it wasn't. Nor will I show the asks, as they're incredibly graphic and disturbing to read. I haven't gotten any genuine asks lately. Just simply death threats, or messages hoping I die, or Harth dies, or Molli getting taken away because Harth gets killed by someone. I've counted 60 so far and counting.

It goes without saying I'm here to have fun. I'm here to enjoy myself. I'm here to interact with others. I'm here to have fun answering asks in character. I'm here to engage with other threads. I'm here to respectfully freely express my feelings and opinions to others, and respect their opinions. I'm here to get into all sorts of fun shenanigans with Harth.

I didn't come here to be harassed. I didn't come here to get ridiculed for being different. I didn't come here to be sent constant death threats because I think differently. I didn't come here so people can tell me they hope Harth dies, so someone else can take his daughter. etc...

I understand people may like a character, but there comes a point where you shouldn't take things to this extent because someone has a different stance to someone else. Things have been taken way out of context, and people have gone to the extremes in my inbox.

We all have different opinions and should respect them. We should be polite to one another regardless of the differences. I'm just someone looking to have fun with others, and create stuff by myself or with them. Nothing more nothing less.

There's a right way to engage with someone and express yourself. This isn't that way. I don't want to make posts like these, but I'm hoping in doing so people are mindful of what their doing and the effect it can have on someone simply wishing to enjoy themselves.

[drenched-in-sunlight]

people bending over backwards to scream Marika never loved Messmer when he alone has more blessings personally bestowed by her than any other demigods combined are so funny to me. also the fact that it's implied he used to live in Leyndell too 😂😂

also she killed an entire god herself and made sure said God is called all manner of names and depict as ugly forever. for him 😂😂

[sleeptokenpuppy]

my tags

drift's tags

the tags drift was referring to

the thing about loving sleep token is that you can tell he's Been Through Some Shit if those are the lyrics he writes. you see clips of him trembling and weeping as he performs and you know those songs mean so so much to him. they mean so much to you too.

then eventually you see old clips, where he's young, and he's Going Through It, and your heart breaks even more.

but you look at those old clips knowing something he doesn't.

you know he's going to make it.

you know he's going to survive what he's going through, build a loyal following over the years, become your favorite metal band's favorite metal band, and then go fucking viral.

sell out wembley. play red rocks and radio city. open for linkin fucking park on their comeback tour. in fucking paris!

you know he's going to change lives. save lives, even if he won't take credit for it.

at that point, he definitely doesn't know that yet.

at that point, you can see he's struggling. you can sit here in 2024 and look back on baby vessel - and we call him baby vessel, i think, not just because he's so much younger there, but because there's a specifically youthful sort of pain so visible in him in that era.

and it just...

i remember how that youthful pain feels, and the uncertainty of self that comes with it. if you went through shit when you were younger, you know it too.

he means so much to you that you wish with all your might you could soothe that pain the way he soothed yours.

[skarkkk]

It was fucking rape. That's my fucking point of view.

What do you mean he liked it? What do you mean it was cheating? What do you mean I like her?

It was rape, there is no other interpretation other than rape.

Robby lived with two addicts and yet he was abandoned in a bar with free access to alcohol, and that's where it started.

He got drunk for the first time, he drank for the first time and he has no resistance to alcohol because he stays away as best he can for the simple fact that his parents were addicts who never cared about him. So he wanted to forget what was happening, to repress all of this and he turned to alcohol because where else would he go when everyone didn't give a damn about him, or his situation with Tory or his emotions? Where else was he supposed to go when his example of dealing with emotions is aggression and addiction? So he drank. He drank to a level where he couldn't formulate a response, a sentence, when Kwon came to talk to him and provoke him, and we know that if he was sober he would have done something. It was obvious on his own face listening to Kwon that he was spaced out, drunk, and then Zara approached him. And took him to her room, from where he came out the next morning. No memory of the night before, a headache, and still looking out of it, as we can see when she kissed him and he didn't even react to it. The level of alcohol this requires is the level of alcohol that prevents someone from giving consent.

— I barely remember last night

— Good thing I do

Can we see the exact connotation that something happened? That she actually took advantage of the boy who couldn't speak to give consent, who couldn't think to say no, who was too drunk for this to be acceptable? The fact that she shows no remorse whatsoever for this happening and yet kisses him again.

Besides the fact that the writers themselves are treating it like it's some kind of cheating with Tory, the characters themselves acting like he's not a vulnerable person being raped by someone who knows better?

I hate her and I hate the writers for making this like it's nothing. I don't want to be that girl, but being that girl, if the roles were reversed, would this be in the show? Would this be treated that way? Or would they actually treat it like the SA situation that it is?

From the beginning, you can see her interest in Robby - starting with that scene in the captains' photo shoot where she talks to Tory. She knows he's in a relationship. All those teasing scenes with Tory. Her taking advantage of Robby. Then the fight scene.

— You chose her over me?

Like, girl, what the fuck did you expect? He doesn't know you, he doesn't like you, you raped him and you're going after his girlfriend - the person he loves? How high is your ego to even consider that he would choose you? Axel's obsession with Sam I can understand more, although I still have my doubts. She was the first person to understand and see his situation with his sensei, she was friendly and he developed a protectiveness towards her. Although his attitude towards Miguel was wrong, he didn't rape Sam or act like a bitch towards her.

Iron Dragons and their obsession with the Miyagi-Do captains.

Zara Malik and the fact that she raped Robby Keene.

[chaimachi]

Noiz's Neurodivergence

I recently started playing DMMD and just finished Noiz's route. As I played and learned more about Noiz it struck me that he came off as extremely neurodivergent coded. The more I thought about his route, the more I realized how it really strongly reflects neurodivergent individuals and their struggles in society. The thought has kind of overtaken my brain space, so I've decided to yap about it some and make an semi-analysis post.

A few notes:

Personally, I came away reading him as autistic, but if you read him as ADHD/ADD, AuDHD, or neurodivergent in other ways, that's fair! For generality I'll stick to using neurodivergent here.

I'm basisng this on my own knowledge and experiences, if these don't match your experiences, you disagree, or would like to add something that's okay and please do! I'm interested in conversing with others about this topic and would love to see other opinions.

If I use incorrect/outdated or offensive language please let me know. I don't want to harm anyone with my words, but if I do please let me know so I can correct it.

I haven't read or played re:connect yet, so I won't be including information from there. While writting most of this I also hadn't finished Ren's route yet either, so I won't include information from there!

Why I think Noiz is Neurodivergent I'll admit, Noiz was not my favorite character during the shared/general route scenes. He came off as a brat, a character archetype I'm not too fond of. Don't get me wrong, I still think he's a brat, but more of a loveable brat now.

It wasn't until I entered Platinum Jail and his route in honest that I started to realize he displayed neurodivergent traits. The first time it crossed my mind was when he was in Glitter with Aoba and suddenly swapped topics, asking if Aoba was hungry. The tonal shift was absolutely jarring. Jarring to the point that, coupled with Aoba's response and Noiz's own nonchalance, I realized he wasn't trying to aggressively change the topic. He literally just got carried away by an intrusive thought. He realized he was hungry, and just jumped on that train of thought and got carried away with it. This moment was like a lightbulb for me, I was "Oh, he's got ADD."

Suddenly, Noiz's character started making so much more sense to me. He's got intrusive thoughts, he literally follows a conversation at his own flow, which Aoba finds hard to follow at times. He has his own leaps in logic, something you commonly hear about neurotypical individuals trying to understand, how neurodivergent individuals can jump from one topic to another. Noiz suddenly saying he's hungry and then just leaving while Aoba is standing there gobsmacked mirrors one of these interactions so strongly. To Noiz him being hungry and acting on it makes sense, meanwhile Aoba is left wondering what just happened and annoyed. Looking back at several of his conversations in the general route, I get an entirely different feel for him and several things click into place. He's not purposefully ignoring Aoba when he broke into Aoba's room (he's still capable of doing it, because he's still a brat when he wants to be), instead Noiz is just following the conversation at his own pace, resulting in Aoba finding the flow of the conversation strange.

Moving along to the food trucks, we see Noiz going around buying all kinds of food. He's like a kid in a candy store, literally. He's so interested in these different types of food in front of him that he's going wild buying them all, showing how he's chasing a dopamine rush but also somewhat lacks impulse control. His impulse control with money could be a side effect of or just further exacerbated by being rich, but I think could be a neurodivergent trait for him. Especially because Aoba himself mentions that Noiz is buying more food than one person could possibly eat, and we never hear about Noiz himself eating more than an average individual. Noiz is just so captivated by all the kinds of food offered that he buys without thinking about how much he can feesibly eat. Later on in the fist fights we see him just diving right in without thinking of the danger or getting hurt, but this is also related to his lack of care for himself or getting hurt. Ultimately the impulsivity is there, and while it could stem from other external influences, to me it comes off as a sign of neurodivergency for Noiz.

For me, the moment that made a lightbulb go off and I realized Noiz was neurodivergent (autistic in my interpretation) was when he mentioned just living off delivery pizza and pasta. At this moment I put my head in my hands and just whispered "oh he is autistic." It was such a simple statement, but when I learned he was okay eating the same things day after day, I couldn't help but equate it to how neurodivergent individuals can have food preferences where they prefer to eat the same food repeatedly. Now, Noiz doesn't mention any texture issues, actually he seems to love trying other foods. But he does say he has lived on pizza and pasta for years, which makes me feel like it is a comfort to him because it is simple to obtain/make and he knows it tastes good. It's such a simple moment/statement, but that really helped Noiz's neurodivergence click into place for me, because while not a one to one similarity of a common associated trait it reminded me of a commonly discussed trait.

From here on, I recontextualized a lot of Noiz's own personality traits and it all just seemed to fit together so well. Heck, one of his positive choice options hit a personal note with me. He shows a strong dislike for being interrupted while he's engrossed in work, he does not enjoy or tolerate his concentration being broken, a trait I find quite relatable. All of this together made me realize he has issues communicating with others and understanding social cues. Yes, he is a standoffish brat but he also just has no clue how to properly communicate and read the room.

For his inability to read social cues we have scenes like Noiz kissing Aoba out of the blue and not understanding why Aoba finds it weird. His social normalcy can even differ from the reader, at times, he seems pretty chill for just barging into Aoba's house or job and then having Aoba follow his lead. This isn't even touching on how he seems so distanced from any form of "normal" physical affection such as kissing or sex. Normally I'd say, okay these don't have to really mean anything, but when you juxtapose it against Aoba's (or even Mio's) reaction, it just drives home that his definition of social normalcy and theirs are completely different. He also, y'know seems completely unable to realize that people can just care, taking genuine concern and turning it transactional. I'd also like to highlight how Noiz seems good at making eye contact, until you strip him of his own armor forged of stubborness, then we see him glance away. He doesn't start avoiding eye contact after that, but I did find it interesting that he displayed yet another commonly associaed neurodivergent trait only when finally showing some of his true feelings.

This doesn't even include his own sensitivity to touch/pain. That was another trait that seemed to hint at neurodivergence, a lack of sensitivity to pain has been debated as a neurodivergent trait, however it is known that individuals can suffer from either hyper- or hyposensitivity. I feel like Noiz just can be put in the latter category.

One last bit I'd like to mention is his hyper-focus/obsessive interest in Rhyme, especially after losing to Aoba. I'll discuss Rhyme a bit more later though! Mostly I'd like to point out how his issues with losing could be interpreted as rejection sensitivity almost. I'd also like to propose Rhyme and his overall stubborness as an attempt at masking, not showing his weakness or problems. He intentionally was trying to seem like a standoffish brat instead of letting his inability to understand humans show. But in truth, he wasn't a standoffish asshole, he just didn't know how to communicate and connect with others. And this becomes a core theme for him as his route progresses.

The Struggle to Connect with Others

Noiz's primary psychological struggle is his inability to understand others (because he can't feel pain) and make meaningful connections as a result.

He repeatedly mentions how he doesn't understand Aoba wanting to help him just because Aoba cares about him as a person. While this is also because he's been used for his money and other reasources, that doesn't change his core issue of how he can't understand people. How he has been unable to truly connect with anyone since he was young, leading him to a life of loneliness and being even more unable to understand and connect with others.

His struggle resonates strongly with me on how at times neurodivergent individuals struggle to understand the reasoning behind rules/actions or connect with other people and maintain relationships. I see his struggle, his suffering because he is existing in a world that is not made to help him with individuals who are unable to help him learn to adapt or cope. So instead, he makes his own defense/coping mechanisms and attempts to mask to the best of his ability. He belives everything is transactional, that life is all about give and take. He uses stubborness and aggression as a shield. He'd rather have his wound bleed out and get infected than have another person care for him.

Looking back at Rhyme, it is his hyperfocus. Hyperfocusing on Rhyme makes it almost like Noiz's life line, his safe space. Rhyme is the the one thing that he feels like he can use to connect with others (even if he is still lonely standing at the top). That's why his loss to Aoba shakes him so hard, because his safe space had been intruded upon. If he's not the strongest in Rhyme, if he's not the strongest and loses, then the mask and shields that he so carefully crafted will begin crumbling down. If he can't be the strongest in a world where he's on an even playingfield with others, where he can feel pain, then how is he supposed to survive in a world where he's at a disadvantage. It's Noiz's struggle to live in a world not made for him, where he's at a disadvantage and tries but fails to comprehend others that makes me relate his story so strongly to neurodivergence. It's seeing Noiz get up, and even though he still does not fully understand, decide he'll treat Aoba's burn injury that makes me find his story compelling. His story shows that he can survive in the world, that he can come to terms more with his own inability to experience similar situations. But he can't do it alone, he needs help by his side and I think Aoba does a wonderful job of supporting Noiz.

Aoba spends the route trying to understand Noiz, and when he realizes Noiz's struggle, he doesn't berate him. Instead, Aoba extends kindness and warmth to Noiz. If Noiz struggles to understand, then Aoba won't berate him, instead he'll try to help Noiz. He'll help Noiz learn to connect to other people and not be alone. Aoba was willing to do this before he even helped Noiz gain the sensation of touch, which I think is a beautiful message. Aoba shows an inherent kindness towards Noiz and also promotes Noiz learning healthy coping mechanisms instead of staying behind his crudly made stubborness. To me, Aoba represents a world/individual that tries to adapt for neurodivergent individuals, helping them to understand and survive in life. Aoba saying he'll teach Noiz pain, he doesn't mean physically he means helping Noiz learn and process his emotions. He wants to show Noiz that the world isn't terrible, that there are people who will accept him despite his differences and help him find a way to survive in the world. Which brings me to Noiz's good ending.

Noiz's Good End: Abelist or a Lesson on Acceptance and Coping?

When I first got his good end, I was left with a slightly bitter taste in my mouth. Noiz learned how to feel pain and other sensations, he lost the main reason behind his inability to understand and connect with others. This was done through Aoba using Scrap, so at first I was left finding it to be a "magic cure" for the core issues that made him readable as neurodivergent. I was left feeling disappointed, like the game was telling me Noiz's neurodivergent traits were bad and that he needed to be "fixed." Overall, Noiz gaining sensation, losing the barrier that made his life harder just soured the excellent writing of his route for me.

But then, I rolled the ending around in my head more. I realized personality wise, Noiz hadn't changed. He does come off as more open and emotive, but I think it's safe to say those feelings were always there. He just now feels comfortable enough to let his guard down and show them to others. The only thing that had changed was Aoba showing Noiz acceptance, being the first person in his life truly capable of extending a hand and offering that acceptance to him. I thought more about Scrap and how Aoba says he's destroying a part of the mind, but in all honesty this "destruction" stems from acceptance. Koujaku accepts his bloody past, Mink accepts that it is okay for him to live, and Noiz, Noiz accepts that he CAN and WANTS to connect with others even if he can't feel pain. In return, Aoba extends the exact same acceptance to his friends/romantic interests. He does not fully understand them, he can never fully relate to his friend's traumas and struggles, but he can accept them. Accept them as a part of the people he cares about, and show everytone that no matter what their past was or their struggle that he will be there for them. Honestly, Aoba is just a great friend in general due to his innate kindness.

Aoba himself is what saves me from thinking this ending is ableist in nature. Because he offers to help Noiz learn about the emotion behind pain and how to form bonds, before Noiz even gets Scrap'd. Instead of seeing Scrap as destroying Noiz's neurodivergence, I see it now as Aoba accepting Noiz, neurodivergence and all. Due to this acceptance we can finally see Noiz let down his guard, unmasking for the first time if you will. Noiz doesn't magically have a good relationship with everyone in his ending either. Instead, he starts trying to move forward and learn how to live alongside others in society. It's because Aoba was the first person who stood by Noiz and showed him the patience required to help Noiz learn how to interact and connect with others. Ultimately, that's what I think Noiz getting Scrap'd represents. It represents Noiz finally being able to move forward because he met someone who could help support him as he learns to navigate the tricky roads of social etiquette and expectations. He's found a companion who can help him understand his own emotions. Aoba represents the person who will not baby Noiz and let him get away with everything, but also shows him the understanding Noiz needs in order to learn.

Also our boy Noiz still does retain several of his neurodivergent traits. We still see him leading the conversation at his own flow while Aoba is left trying to say his piece. We see Noiz just automatically jumping to Aoba come live with me in Germany, honestly giving the vibe that he'd whisk Aoba away right that second if possible. He's still Noiz, a young adult who can be bratty and spoiled at times, but now he finally has a support system. With that support system in place, he finally feels free enough to show his true self to others. Becaue now he knows that if he fails or makes a mistake, he won't be ridiculed and locked away, but instead have a partner who can help guide him.

Overall, Noiz's route has to be my favorite in terms of writing because it deals with such a real and personal struggle that many people can relate to.

Anyways that's all from me! If you disagree and the ending still leaves a bad taste in your mouth, that is perfectly valid! I just personally wanted to look at it from another angle and give the writers the benefit of the doubt. I'd be interested in other opinions though! Thanks for reading if you did, I mostly wrote this to get rid of the brain worm, but if you read and liked it I appreciate it!

[ixcaliber]

trying to finish as much as i can off playstation plus before letting my subscription end and one of those things was the bioshock infinite burial at sea dlc and oh my fucking god what an absolutely atrotrious experience. incredibly somehow worse than bioshock infinite (a game i hold no affection for) and may be one of the worst video game experiences i've ever had.

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends | "He took the money because I forced him to. I admired him. He seemed to live a tough life. So I gave him the money. Don't be mad at him."

Over the series, Ray has harboured an obvious complex over whether Sand may be interested in him due to his wealth - a complex which funnily enough he established by offering to pay Sand to spend time with him from the get go. From the morning after they slept together, Sand makes a point of turning down Ray's money as he now deems him a friend.

Episode 11 is proof that Ray has taken to heart what Sand taught him in Episode 4 and what he has more recently come to learn in Episode 10. Ray could easily pay for Sand and all his needs, but that's not the point. Sand wants to earn his own way and to be seen as capable of doing so, without taking advantage of anyone in the process.

Ray is no longer throwing money at Sand as a means to placate or as leverage. Instead he puts his money towards supporting Sand's dreams, his passions. Intentional gifts that prioritise Sand's happiness, rather than as a gesture of frivolity or force of habit.

When Ray says "I'll pay anything for you", it's his way of saying 'this is the least I can do to take care of you when you do so much for me.' Ray may still feel like he doesn't bring much to the table, but what he can offer is his wealth. Rather than this being a point of insecurity, he can now regard it as a privilege that can be extended to Sand as stability, as support, as love. 'I know you don't need my money. But I am happy to provide for you.'

[nuclearnerves]

that one post thats like "tumblr name a woman challege (impossible)"

[nettlestingsoup]

needed a break from persistence (1/3 edited but the dialogue is a heartbeat under my floorboards right now) and decided that actually i wanted to think about something deeply, deeply tragic, SO please appreciate the concept of viktor, avatar of the end, and jayce, avatar of the spiral. they are now living rent free in my head.

[ir-abelas-vhenan]

Oh cool you're a gamer? Normally I'd claim such a chill and nebulous label for myself, but thanks to a helpful anon I now know instead that the proper term is "piece of shit"

[starwarjotta]

there’s a special place in hell for people who take the time and go through the effort of leaving negative comments on fanfics, like-- what is wrong with you, what is LEGITIMATELY wrong with you? I’m so angry and so devastated on behalf of everyone who has been harrassed like this and who is going through something like this right now. There’s no excuse for shitty behavior - if you intentionally leave a hurtful comment on something someone created and put out there for other people’s enjoyement, for free, after spending probably HOURS if not WEEKS or MONTHS or longer on it, you’re an incredibly shitty, disgusting, miserable waste of space of a person be better

[longmaxsilvarg]

will forever have a soft spot for chloe cause yeah dawg i get it we can try to avoid becoming attached out of the overwhelming fear of being abandoned again but miserably fail together

[gravestone-sys]

oh to live with my friends.

oh to spend every waking moment around them.

oh to hear their squeaks and laughs and yells in their full capacity.

oh to live in their space enough to know where they'd put something.

oh to fall asleep on each other's shoulders during a movie and be violently woken up with a pillow to the face.

oh to be able to squeeze and hug and just. hold them.

oh to give them forehead kisses and spin them around like you always wanted to.

oh to be the one they drag to stores to buy them snacks.

oh to be around them. what a wonderful life it would be. when I say I love you, I don't mean 'I love you because you're my friend.' you're my everything. I love you all so much.