#i love you all a lot!!!!! i hope you’re all having a good day | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

threadbearsweater · 3 days ago

Text

one warm day is all i really need | arthur morgan

When you find yourself taken in by a gang of outlaws, the last thing you expect is to grow sweet on one of them- and have the feelings reciprocated. Arthur Morgan doesn't have time for romantic nonsense, but a few memebers of the gang want to make sure that he gets to indulge in his obvious affection toward you. Tags: 3.9k words, an unlikely romance, meddling gang members (with the purest of intentions, one might suppose); female reader, alcohol use, smoking, emotional smut. A repost from a (regretfully) deactivated blog.

Arthur first notices your eyes on him one evening around the campfire at Shady Belle. He won’t accuse you of staring– Lord knows he’s been known to look at you with the same foolish grin you’re wearing now– but he tips his hat to acknowledge you. The heat in your cheeks is suddenly warmer than what the fire has already provided; your grin only grows until your teeth are showing, and you duck your head into your shoulder to hide. Arthur takes a long swig from his whiskey bottle and grimaces as it goes down. He hasn't had a drop of anything in days, and the burn takes a little while to grow numb to now.

“Think she's sweet on you, Morgan,” Sean says in his Irish lilt, giving Arthur an elbow in the ribs.

“Naw, she's lookin’ at you,” Arthur deflects, though he hopes he's wrong. He thinks he knows.

“She told me last week to keep my eyes on my own work,” Sean continues. “I really don't think it's me she wants, Arthur.”

You turn to whisper something to Sadie, who laughs out loud with her face tilted toward the stars. You dare a glance back at Arthur, who is, in fact, looking at you.

Maybe there's some truth to what Mary Beth told you yesterday.

“Arthur's been awful quiet lately.”

The sun shines through the trees and dapples the table where you're seated with bright spots of pale yellow. It's your third round of dominoes with Mary-Beth, and she's whooping your ass, as usual. You don't know how she does it, but each game you play, you're a little more privy to her prowess.

“You think so? I don't know him as well as you.” You hope it isn't obvious that your heart started beating a little faster at the mention of his name. It leaves you breathless.

“Oh yeah,” Mary-Beth continues. “He's been scratchin’ away in that journal of his a lot more, too.” She leans closer, conspiratorial, her eyes twinkling with the gossip she's about to share. “Karen said he went to town twice last week to have a hot bath. If you knew Arthur like I know Arthur, why…you'd know that's highly out of character for him.”

“But you said he'd been quiet. Is that unusual for him, too?”

She hums and purses her lips. “Well you see, Arthur isn't usually a man of many words on a good day. But it's been real bad lately. He don't even give John a hard time like usual.”

You ponder the dominoes for a moment and then make your move. It doesn't earn you any points, but at least you didn't have to draw. “What do you think the problem is?” you ask, nonchalant as possible.

Mary-Beth smiles. Big and bright and sparkling. “Oh, it's not a problem at all.” She lowers her voice and cups her hand to her mouth. “Arthur's in love.”

You gasp, then giggle behind your hand, and Mary-Beth follows suit. Hosea looks on and shakes his head, so you quiet down, reaching across to grab Mary-Beth's hands. “Who do you think it is?”

Her cheeks are tinted pink, and she looks around to make sure there aren't any ears to hear. Word travels fast around camp if one isn't prudent. “I think it's you.”

A thunderstorm rips through Shady Belle a little over a week later. Your little tent that you share with Sadie is ripped straight off its supports in a terrible gust of wind, and you and the others hightail it inside the house to take cover just as it begins to hail. There's quite a ruckus as everyone huddles inside, windblown and rain-soaked. A few of the men hold up lanterns to illuminate the darkness while you watch the lightning and feel the thunder shake the old bones of the house.

“Everyone just calm down,” Dutch calls, descending the stairs, wearing some ridiculous robe with his arms spread wide. “Are we really gonna let a little old thunderstorm keep us from getting a good night's sleep?”

“Says the man with a bed inside the house,” Arthur bites, rounding the corner from what used to be the kitchen, holding a lantern up high in front of him. “Dutch, you better allow these ladies to take cover in here for tonight, or I'll–”

“Or you'll what, Mister Morgan? Pray tell, what kind of man do you take me for?” Dutch's eyes are fiery as he stares Arthur down; a display of dominance. A veritable cockfight.

Arthur's jaw twitches, but he doesn't back down. “The kind of man I should hope would have some goddamn respect for his family.”

There's a tense moment or two where everyone is quiet, then Dutch relents. “Fine, fine! But I expect everyone out there pitching in to clean up in the morning.” He points at Arthur and raises his voice again. “That includes the other man with a bed inside the house,” he sneers.

Arthur shakes his head, then looks away only to catch sight of you, shivering in your wet undergarments, huddled close to Mary-Beth for what little warmth the two of you can share. For a minute, he forgets to breathe, then composes himself enough to cross the room.

“Come on in here. Get yourself warm and dry by the fire.” His hand on your elbow is rough but warm as he leads you toward the fireplace. You nod and look back at Mary-Beth, who shoos you away with a flick of her wrist and a wink; you notice that her teeth are chattering. Despite the humidity that hangs heavy in the air, the temperature has turned chilly with the storm.

Arms crossed over your bosom to preserve any shred of modesty you might have left, you allow yourself to be led away by Arthur. Dutch and some of the others head upstairs while Charles and Javier keep watch from the front porch.

“You alright?” Arthur asks. He covers your shoulders with one of his heavy winter coats, and you pull it around you, grateful for the weight and warmth of it. Another clap of thunder shakes the house and you jump. Arthur chuckles.

“You laughin’ at me?” you quip, placing your palms flat in the direction of the fireplace. You don't even bother to hide the grin you feel curling on your lips.

“No madam, I am not,” Arthur says earnestly, taking a seat beside you on the old wooden crate he's set up as a makeshift bench.

“Then just what do you find so funny, Mister Morgan?”

He scratches the back of his neck, looking into the flames. “Aw, I dunno. I'm sorry. It's just that you're…”

You bump him with your hip, unable to stop the giggles that bubble up from your chest. “I'm what?” you pry.

There's a clatter of something falling on the front porch, and Arthur uses it as a good excuse to get out of this hole he's dug for himself. “I better go see what's going on out there. Charles might need my help.”

“I'm what, Arthur?!” you call, to no avail. He's gone before he can see the proverbial hearts in your eyes.

The saloon in Rhodes is a little nicer than the ones you visited in Valentine, though it's a far cry from the ones you used to frequent in Saint Denis. Still, when Sadie and the other girls decide that it's high time you have a little fun in town, you throw on your best dress and let Karen curl your hair and even apply a little of the makeup you snagged from a homestead up north. For the first time in months, you feel like a proper woman. There isn't time to be melancholy about the past, though, when the boys start whistling and cat-calling upon the sight of you and the other girls.

“Aw, knock it off!” Sadie hollers. She's decided to dress up a little tonight, too, much to everyone's surprise. But she hikes up her skirts to hop into the wagon, calling for the rest of you all to hurry it up. “I've got a bottle of rum with my name on it that's waiting for me to come drink her all down!”

You catch the sunset on the way to town. It's dazzling over the meadows, all golden light and warm, blazing oranges and reds that settle into a brilliant pink by the time your reach the main road into Rhodes. You wish you could see Arthur's eyes, but he's got a handle on the reins next to Charles in the front of the wagon. You've seen him watching the sunset before; he always looks so peaceful those evenings at camp, and you often wonder what he thinks about in those few minutes before the horizon is painted in pastel hues.

Karen starts singing a song that everyone eventually joins, and before you know it, you're pulling up in front of the Rhodes Parlour House. You can already hear the piano and a few voices from outside; the sound of it stirs something in your soul that makes you long for the familiarity of home, but you quickly shove it aside in favor of the company of your new family.

“Madam.” Arthur's voice brings you out of your thoughts and back into the present, where he waits at the back of the wagon with his hand extended to you. You beam at him, and he feels dizzy. And when your soft hand fits into his, he straightens his knees so they don't buckle and betray him.

“Why, thank you, kind sir,” you say, lifting the hem of your skirts to step out onto the dirt road.

Arthur leans in, dangerously close to your ear. You can smell the whisky and cigarettes on his breath, along with the faint tang of gunpowder and hair pomade. “You sure do look nice in that dress.”

You demure and fan yourself with your hand. “Just how much have you had to drink already tonight?” you giggle.

“Ahh, just a little nip to take the edge off.”

“Mm-hm. Sure, Arthur. Whatever you say.”

The night starts off relatively calm, as most nights do. You and the other girls find an empty table to sit and pick up on the town gossip, and the men start a hand of poker. It grows loud and crowded sometime around midnight, and it's hard to have a conversation without shouting over the din of voices, the clink of glass bottles, and the slow drag ragtime music from the piano. The ambiance is charming and lighthearted, and there are even a few couples drunkenly dancing on the porch.

You push back in your chair and find that when you stand, you're a little more wobbly than you thought you would be. The alcohol has loosened you more than you realize, and you grip the table for support until you feel a firm arm around your waist. “Whoa there.”

It's Arthur, who has won the last round of poker and has come to check in on you and the other ladies. You're pulled tight against his chest for one fleeting moment, and you look up into his eyes. He, too, seems drunk, with his eyes gleaming and drooping at the corners, his smile easy and his cheeks flushed.

“My knight in shining armor,” you slur, pretending to faint in his embrace. He only pulls you tighter against him, both of his broad hands splayed across your back. You laugh, and he smiles.

“You weren't getting another drink, were ya?” he questions with a raise of his brow.

“‘m thirsty,” you whine, lifting your empty glass entirely too close to his face. It knocks against his nose, which sends you into another fit of laughter.

Arthur takes your wrist– gentle but firm– and lowers the glass away. “Think you need to drink something that's not whiskey,” he drawls. You can't help but watch the way his lips form around the words; the slip of his tongue between his teeth, the way his mouth turns up into the hint of a smile when you pout. Before you can think too long and hard about it, you lunge forward and kiss him. Hard and clumsy and impulsive. You don't give him time to react. You're far too involved in the kiss to notice, but the girls at the table behind you have all gone silent. Arthur slides his hand along the side of your face and presses his fingers upon the nape of your neck, kissing you back like he really means it. (He really does.)

You pull back suddenly, breathless and reeling, swiping the back of your hand over your mouth. You're still held firm in his embrace, but the playfulness in his gaze has been replaced with an intensity that makes your knees weak all over again.

“What'd ya do that for?” he asks.

“Could ask you the same thing.”

“Well, you started it.”

“And you finished it.”

“Oh, I ain't finished with you, yet.”

“That a promise or a threat?” Your pulse is thumping wildly in your ears.

“Ya know, they got rooms upstairs for that!” Sadie shouts. There's a ripple of laughter across the table. Arthur's hand on your cheek feels like a brand, his arm about your waist an anchor. The rest of the room comes back to you in a woozy blur, and you look around, a little lovestruck and a whole lot drunk. Arthur's lips at your temple make your eyes flutter shut, and the room fades to black as tIt'weight of you slumps against him. He staggers only slightly, but holds you firm, chuckling softly.

“It's a promise,” he whispers.

You come to some hours later. Your mouth is dry as the desert, your head feels like lead, your skin broken out in a cold, uncomfortable sweat. At some point, it seems you were covered with a downy soft blanket, and the pillow at your head is much more fluffy than the makeshift one you made out of a bedroll at camp. At first, you think you're dreaming. Then, you wonder very briefly if you're back at your childhood home in Saint Denis. You almost call out to your mother when you hear a soft snore from the other side of your bed.

The room spins when you turn your head, and you rub your eyes until Arthur comes into focus. He's sprawled in an armchair a few feet away. His arms are crossed over his chest while his chin is tucked into his chest. Off to the side, you spy his boots; his big toe pokes through a hole in his sock and you smile at how vulnerable he looks.

“Arthur,” you whisper, shifting slightly as you pull the blanket up around your chin.

He grunts and lifts his head slowly. He frowns a little at first, but when he focuses on you lying there, so close he could reach out and kiss you again like he did last night, there's a slow, easy smile that spreads across his face.

“Hey there, party girl. You feeling alright?”

You could kick yourself for all the giggling you've done around him lately, but you can't help it. He brings out something giddy and downright foolish inside you, so you toss a pillow at him and bury your face in the sheets.

“Aw, come on now. I'm just messin’ with ya.” He leans forward and rubs your head affectionately. “I'd say you were feeling pretty good last night.”

It's in that moment a white-hot jolt of sheer panic shoots down your spine. Quickly, you check to make sure you're still wearing clothes. Aside from your breasts being a little lopsided in the confines of your bodice, you're relieved to find that your dress is still intact and– more importantly– on your body. You dare another peek at Arthur and notice that his shirt is unbuttoned down to the middle of his chest and he's discarded his vest somewhere, but he, too, is fully clothed. Thank the good Lord above.

You must've said that last part aloud, because Arthur laughs. “Don't worry, nothing happened. Though it weren't for lack of tryin’ on your part,” he says, scratching the back of his neck. “Thought I was gonna have to lock you in here like some feral cat till you settled down.”

Oh. Oh Lord. You try to recall what happened that led you to this room, but all that comes to mind is a lot of loud conversation, some dancing, a spilled drink across Sadie's lap, and Arthur's hand on the side of your cheek. “Oh…”

Now you remember it in vivid detail.

“Didn't know you cared for me like that,” he says. It's earnest and tender, a few shades less intense than the kiss you now recall, the one where it felt like he wanted to eat you alive right there in the middle of the saloon. Now, he thumbs your cheek and looks at you so fondly you swear your heart jumps right up in your throat. “I mean, I'd been hoping. Wasn't sure you was looking for a romance.” He huffs a short sigh, frustrated with himself. “Aw, hell, what am I saying? ‘Course you weren't. You're just looking to survive, just like the rest of us, and here I–”

“Shut up,” you say, taking hold of his hand and tugging him closer. He resists until you pull even harder, watching the fire in your eyes blaze to life. “You talk too much, Yankee.”

“I ain't no damn–”

“Kiss me.”

He's over you in an instant; you're pressed flat against the bed, completely and totally at his mercy. This kiss feels different than the drunken one last night. It's sober and honest, if not a little hesitant, as if he's holding himself back from devouring you wholly. The warmth of his body against yours takes your breath away. Or maybe it's the way his tongue laves heavy into your mouth, unashamed of how badly he craves the taste of you. You grip his hair at the roots and tug him down to kiss him harder, lifting your upper body to meet him until he presses down, his chest flush with yours.

Things get heated quickly.

His mouth moves across your cheek, down your neck, and he groans against your skin, rutting his cock against your thigh. You fleetingly wish that he had managed to get you out of that dress before he presumably tucked you into bed and passed out in that chair, because there’s a whole lot of fabric between you and him that really pisses you off right now. Arthur must feel much the same, because he’s bunching your skirts up past your knees while you’re fumbling with his belt buckle, desperate to feel him against you, inside you. It’s clumsy and crazed, rushed and rough, but you manage somehow to shuck off every last bit of your clothes and his until you’re breathless and so, so eager beneath him.

“Need you now,” you whine. You feel insane. Dizzy and dehydrated, impossibly turned on, every nerve ending on fire when his callused hands grip the fat of your thighs and open you to him.

“Greedy little thing, ain’t ya?” One of his hands slips between your legs to find you wet and swollen. He presses the pad of his thumb against your clit and pushes a finger inside you; the sound you make nearly has him finishing there on the sheets, so he wastes no time in getting himself as close to you as humanly possible.

“Never wanted something so bad,” he murmurs into the dip of your shoulder. He wants all of you– all at once– wants to fuse his hands against your skin and sink himself into you so deep that it would be impossible to tell where he ends and you begin. The heat from his body takes away what little breath you have left, his mouth on each part of your body building the buzz in your chest until you feel like you might just burst open. You grabbed at each other like it was the first and last time you might have this opportunity, as if you wanted more than what the other of you was able to give.

Considering the kind of life you’ve both led so far, it’s a good possibility that you might never get to do this again.

“Give it to me,” you plead, opening yourself further to him, fingers wrapped firm around the base of his cock. “Please.”

Arthur Morgan is a man of incredible strength and self restraint, except when it comes to a woman like you.

There’s nothing gentle about the way he takes you. It’s primal, sweaty, filthy, rough. Arthur pushes as far inside you as he can go, then pushes further when you beg for more. He cups your knees with slick palms and presses you open as far as you can bend; you tug roughly at his hair and bite down on his shoulder when the pleasure builds to a blinding ferocity. The wooden bedframe knocks angrily against the wall with each thrust, but you can’t bring yourself to care if anyone hears. You can’t focus on anything beyond the feeling of him filling you with every stroke of his cock, of the taut, corded muscle in his back and shoulders as you grapple to hang on as tight as you can. Your orgasm hits your hard and fast, and he encourages you through it, taking his time to give you long, controlled strokes. It’s as pleasurable for him as it is for you. “‘Atta girl,” he rasps, lips moving against your ear. Your hand flies to your mouth to muffle your cries, but he pulls it away and threads his fingers with yours, pressing it onto the pillow. “I wanna hear it.”

Your moans are what drive him over the edge.

He buries his face against the side of your neck, panting heavily as he comes, driving into you so hard that you can almost feel the mattress beneath you begin to sag under the weight. You cradle his head in your hands and link your legs around his waist, boneless and languid in the aftermath of your own pleasure. When he moves, you move with him, riding out the waves together until you’re both too tired to move another muscle.

Neither of you speak for a while. He lies on his back with an arm around your shoulders while you curl against him, tuned into his heartbeat and swirling little patterns into the hair on his chest. It’s comforting to feel him next to you, to watch his chest rise and fall as he steadies his breathing, to soak up the warmth of his skin against yours.

You’re the first to break the silence. “Did everyone else go back to camp last night?”

Arthur nods slowly. “Something tells me they planned all this.”

“Planned it? You mean…” You lift your arm slowly and flick your wrist to acknowledge the room you’re laying in. “This?” You lift your chin and grin at him. “Or getting us together?”

“Room was paid for before I even had a chance to ask if they had one,” he explains. “Think it was Mrs. Adler.”

You vaguely recall her shouting something about a room after you kissed Arthur last night, and you shake your head. “You complaining?”

He turns to his side, draping an arm across your hip. “Me? Never.” You’re suddenly pressed beneath him once again; from the looks of it, you won’t be getting out of this bed anytime soon. “Specially when I’ve got you here to help me keep warm.”

#arthur morgan x reader #rdr2 x reader #red dead redeption 2 x reader #arthur morgan smut #my writing

230 notes · View notes

jjkarmy091 · 3 days ago

Text

Second Best- Jungkook (part 8 )

Summary: Being friends with someone who has your heart it’s already hard, let alone when that special someone ends up falling in love with your best friend, the one you think would never make anything to hurt you . Will you be able to ignore it and move on? what will happen when everything gets too much for you to handle?

Genre: Friends to lovers; angst; body insecurities; bullying; friend betrayel;

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Wordcount: 5.781

Author's note: It took me a lot but here it is. Got so many blocks writting this and I'm not satified with it. It doesn't matter how many time I write and rewrite it, it feels like it's never good enough but I tried my best so please go easy on me. Hope you like it and let me know if you want a next chapter or not. Also: I'm sorry for any mistakes

Love you loads <3

When Y/n woke up the next morning she could swear her head was gonna fall off. It was one of those headaches it makes you wanna clung onto the bedsheets and never leave ‘till the next day. Flashbacks of the night before went through her brain but she brushed them off. She wanted to enjoy the few days she had taken, yet she’s still thinking about the same. She thought she was doing a good job but Taehyung’s words didn’t really help too, she definitely was going to face Sewoon with all these facts. Y/n always chose kindness over anything else but would all of that have gotten her anywhere? Looking back, she had serious doubts about that.

Getting up from the bed and heading to the bathroom she notices everything is still very quiet which means Lisa is still asleep. Y/n wants to do something nice for her so she decides to make a huge breakfast once she knows that food is Lisa's undoing and starts preparing things without making too much noise (or at least trying to). Everything’s almost ready when Y/n listens to steps aproaching the kitchen/living room area as she pours some orange juice in Lisa’s cup saying good morning. Lisa looks at her and smiles, answering her back and sitting down.

“what’s all this?”

“It’s just a way to thank you for being such a great person to me. I know I've been hard to handle these last days but I want you to know that I truly feel grateful for everything you’ve done for me so far. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know how things would’ve ended up for me, I’d probably be crying in my room, thinking how much I suck because the guy I’m in love with doesn’t love me back”

“I told you Y/n, it’s completely fine. I always liked you. You bring such a positive vibe and you’re so kind and fun to be around. It’s good to be around you and if I can help you somehow I will.” A few minutes of silence passed until Lisa asked what she was dying to know. “Did you talk to him?” Y/n stops suddenly, swallows hard and shakes her head.

“No”

“care to explain why?”

“I’ve been thinking about your words and you’re right! I have to stop being a pussy and be real with myself and my feelings, not for others but for me. All this mess started because I'm always comparing myself to others all the time. I was so scared that Sewoon and Jungkook would meet and I was the bridge for them to start something. I allowed this. If only I wasn't so afraid and had more confidence in myself maybe it would be me in Sewoon's place and that kills me inside Lisa. For once in my life it would have been simple and sincere and I'm the only one to blame for this."

"What makes you think he was never interested in you Y/n? Because from what you told me it seemed to me that he was quite into you”

"He definitely wasn't Lisa, you're confusing things. He found my attitude towards him funny when we first met, I don't know. But he never showed any signs, he never said anything and I was afraid of destroying the friendship we were building by saying something. He even used to go on dates. At the end he would go to the coffee shop and we would talk about it and stuff.”

Lisa frowned “So he went on dates but never hooked up with them afterwards? a boy in his prime, with basic needs and would always come to you afterwards? You never found anything weird?”

“For what he told me he had just gotten out of a complicated relationship. I think he was more interested in meeting new people, go out for a bit, clear his head.”

“and come back to you in the end” Lisa mocks while Y/n throws a piece of bread at her, hitting her in the forehead. “Don’t be annoying”

“Y/n you may not understand much about boys but I do and that's not normal for someone who don't have feelings for you. At best, he would go home.” Y/n drank some of her juice. "stop it! if that was true he wouldn't have gone straight to my supposed best friend. Why would he do that if he was interested in me? The way he looked at her, how he said she was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he would never be able to love anyone the way he loves her. Not to mention what he did for Sewoon. She told me some things and all I could think about was how I wish it was me instead. I hoped it was me but I'm a coward, that's why I'm still here, 23 years old and a virgin. Even in that regard, Sewoon was lucky.” Y/n looks at her plate, trying to avoid eye contact with Lisa, knowing that would be enough to make her start crying but kept talking

“How she described the way he touched her, grabbed her, how he -- in short, everything. There was this one time she couldn't stop talking about how and where they did it so I invented that I was super busy and couldn't talk so she could leave and I could cry in peace. I swore never again.”

“After everything Tae told you do you still think things are as Sewoon says?” Y/n didn’t answer, instead she got up and started taking the dishes onto the table, washing them. Lisa got up too, leaving her plate in the sink "always listen to things with a hint of doubt but specially with your heart." Y/n decided to change the subject.

“What are we doing today?” Lisa laughed “let’s introduce you to this place the right way. See something else than snowboards” With this they got ready for the day. Lisa already knew the place with the palm of her hands so she knew what and where to go with Y/n.

Even tho her mind was still in another place she actually found herself enjoying their time there. She enjoyed it so much that she didn't even notice the days passing by until the day for them to leave had arrived. Although the first days were complicated now she didn't mind staying another day or two but there were things to fix that she was eager to mend and she wouldn't find the so needed peace she wanted until everything was cleared up.

On their last day there Lisa suggested to go for a hot chocolate where they found Tae and his friend once again. They saw each other a lot during their staying and ended up clearing everything up and agreed that Sewoon was a NO topic. That night they went to a club all together and Y/n remembers having so much fun and getting so drunk that she ended up on top of Tae's friend. (Not the way you guys are thinking, pervs ;)

Y/n already had too much to drink and once they were stepping out of the club she tripped and Tae's friend was there and tried to hold her only for Y/n to bring him down with her. All of them laughed and they even took a picture of them both on the floor in a suspicious position. She just hoped any of it would end up on social media, at least for now because she knew either Sewoon or Jungkook would see it, but of course things never go the way she wanted them too. On their way home Y/n got a notification on instagram saying Taehyung tagged her in a photo so she opened it and saw a set of pictures, the first being Y/n, Lisa, Tae and his friend with drinks on their hands and Tae's arm around Y/n's waist and the second just a photo of Y/n and Tae making a funny face among with other random pics with the caption “Glad to see an old flame again. Loved these days with the best people. Let's repeat it next year” Fuck

She still had two days before going back to work and a few hours' journey ahead of her and the last thing she wanted was to end these wonderful days in an anxiety attack at an airport far from home because of a set of pictures.

It was a peaceful trip, they both took the opportunity to sleep and rest during the flight since when they arrived they had a lot to do. Y/n agreed to move to Lisa's house just as she had proposed. One night before going to sleep she spoke with her landlord and canceled the lease so she had little time to organize her stuff and take them to Lisa's. As soon as the plane landed they looked at each other and smiled, grabbed their things and slowly walked out of the airport where Lisa's father was waiting for them. As soon as they got into the car, Lisa said

“I'm sad it's over but I'm happy we're getting home. I honestly love traveling but the moment I get to my space and make myself comfortable at home is always the best of all. Speaking of it, we still have to get your things. How about we go to my house, unpack, have lunch and then pack the rest of your stuff? Unless you're tired”

“I agree with you Liz, nothing feels better than the comfort of home, and yes, I was thinking the same. I still have two days before going back to work so I have to make the most of it. Right now, i just really want to eat I’m starving and I can’t function without food” They both laugh. Lisa asked her father to turn on the radio and as soon as he did, Tate mcrae's new song started to play. Needless to say they started singing with all their power until they arrived at Lisa's house. Y/n didn't remember having that much fun, not even with Sewoon and she had known her for years.

After arriving at the place, her father said goodbye to them and left their bags at the front door so they could unpack them. They decided to order Taco Bell and while they waited for food and for the washing machine to stop, they sat down on the sofa. Y/n was looking at her phone until she heard herself say

“I don’t know what to do” Lisa gets confused and kept her silence in order for Y/n to say something else, getting comfy on the couch. It took her a while to speak again.

“I- we got back to reality and I can't ignore the fact that I never spoke to Jungkook again ever since that day. It's making me nervous because my mind is racing 1000 percent, I mean, imagine he no longer wants to talk to me or listen to what I have to say.. In hindsight I should have said something to him but I was so hurt. Furthermore, I received a message from Sewoon asking what the hell I was doing with Tae without telling her. Let's just say it wasn’t a very nice message. What should I do Lisa?”

“First of all breath Y/n. Being like this won't get you anywhere. Second: I honestly think you should send a text to Jungkook, tell him that you need to talk to him and that you know that ignoring him wasn't the right choice but that there are a lot of things he doesn't know and that it's difficult to explain. Ask him to meet, preferably in a place other than your work because it will draw a lot of attention on you. You still have time to get back to work, make the most of it before - " Before Lisa finished, the washing machine was heard making its characteristic sound and Lisa apologized and said she'd be right back while Y/n continued sitting on the sofa looking stupidly at her phone. Lisa was right, she couldn’t drag this anymore.

“Hi Jungkook, how are you? I hope you’re doing well. I’m doing good. I know i probably kept you up at night, or maybe you didn’t even think of me but still I’m writting this to give you some heads up on why I disappeared the way I did. Truth is, I had a lot going on these last few months and I know that’s not an excuse and I was on the wrong for not replying to your texts but honestly I didn’t know what else to do. I was in a real mess. I still am and the way I thought it was possible to get out of this chaos inside my mind was to escape my reality and move away. I'm sorry, I know I should have said something but I'm ready to explain everything to you now, if you still want to.

I love you.”

During the rest of the day Lisa helped Y/n move her things to her new place. The fact that she didn’t have a lot of things made it easier. After that, they went grocery shopping and ended up passing by Y/n’s work and decided to walk in being greeted for her co-worker Sana

“Ohh well well well. Who do we have here? Good evening lady and welcome back! thought you’d never show your face around here again. I already miss you, how are you doing? And most importantly, when will you return? I'm so tired of putting up with the boss alone, everyday he gets more and more annoying” She says making Y/n and Lisa laugh.

“It’s been wonderful having some days to actually rest, sad to see it end” Yn says with a smile. “How’s it going around here?”

“Pretty much the same you know. Had your really hot friend coming over everyday at the same hour he used to come. I guess he didn’t believe me when I told him you took some days off. Weird you didn’t, you guys were so close and were together all the time I thought you’d end up together after he broke things off with Sewoon. The last time I saw him was two days ago with her actually. They came here together.” Y/n’s heart stopped for a second and she had a hard time breathing all of a sudden

“Together how?”

“Like I said they came in here together, sat at that table over there and chatted for a while. It was a very busy shift and I was alone here so I couldn’t see or hear a lot. When it calmed down I looked at them, Jungkook was holding her hand and saying something to her while she looked like she was crying or about to. Then I couldn't understand anything else because several customers came in at the same time. When I noticed, he was already coming to pay and Sewoon was at the entrance waiting for him. That day he didn't say anything, he looked somewhere behind me but didn't speak, he just smiled, paid and left but I couldn’t see if he went alone or with her. I’m sorry”

Of course this was going to happen, all she had to do was disappear for a few days and they wouldn't waste time getting on top of each other. She was so stupid. Was she really worthless? Lisa looked at her worriedly but didn't say anything, simply ordered two drinks while Y/n thanked her and looked out the window. If she had known, she would have enjoyed the trip even more without thinking about those two. She felt bad about leaving Jungkook in a vacuum and he was very much entertained. She always had a tiny bit of hope but what for? Sana had left to prepare their order when Lisa spoke

“Don't pay attention to it Y/n. It could be many things, you don't know. If he really was with her why was he always coming over and asking about you?”

“Because that’s what friends are supposed to do Lisa! They worry about each other, which makes sense given how I left the club that night and the fact that I didn't say anything to him in the following days made him think that something bad had happened to me. Everything friendship based.. Maybe that's why he didn't answer me, because he's with her. Sewoon must have shown him the photos we took with Tae on vacation. He was sure I was okay so he moved on with her, again.

Lisa didn't have the chance to say anything because their order was given to them and they said goodbye to Sana and made their way to the car. Lisa started driving and to get home they had to pass by Y/n's old house. As they approached the road Y/n saw someone she knew very well, Sewoon and next to her was Jungkook in front of her old appartment. As if they could see her, Y/n leaned as far back as she could against the seat.

""Lisa, for all that is most sacred to you, please don't stop here, don't look, don't do anything other than move as quickly as possible. Don’t ask me anything just go!"

Always the second, never the chosen, as always.

--------------------------------------------------------------

As they get to their now shared apartment Y/n tells Lisa that she's not hungry and if she doesn't mind she's going to rest because it was a very long day and that tomorrow is the last day and she wants to take the opportunity to organize the rest of her things and relax. Lisa says she doesn't mind at all, that she also feels the same and is going to rest, specially because the next day she has a last minute meeting.

Y/n tried to make Lisa not notice it but she's not stupid. As she drove past Y/n's old building she saw the silhouettes that bothered her so much and all she had to do was put two and two together upon seeing her reaction. The only thing she wanted was to park and give Sewoon a good slap and tell her everything she had been holding back so far.

After getting home both went to their rooms. Y/n couldn’t get any sleep. She tossed and turned but sleep was far away. Y/n looked at her phone and still no text or call from Jungkook. Why was she stupid and sent him a text? Clearly he wasn't worried at all, not even an "ok" he had responded. Suddenly she felt her eyes blurry and that was when she realized the tears rolling down her cheeks. She thought she was worth more, even if it was just in terms of friendship. After some time lost in her own thoughts, she decided to put on her headphones and try to get some sleep and managed to do so after a few hours.

The next day, when she woke up it felt like she had been hit by a bus. Lisa had also gone out to deal with some matters at work, at least she remembered mentioning something about it. Once alone, Y/n had decided to stay in bed. Honestly she wasn't in the mood to do anything else and wanted to take to relax since she was going back to work the next day. Willingness? none. It was going to be hard but the way things were going neither Jungkook nor Sewoon were going to show up there or so she thought.

The next day her alarm went off and Y/n got ready for the day. She was going to do a double shift today since Sana was off, so she was on her own. For some reason she was nervous, it seemed like it was her first day again so her anxiety was on the roof.

As incredible as it may seem, as soon as she arrived she saw her regular customers greeting her and telling her how much they missed her (most of them elderly people who used to frequent the shop even before she worked there and who had loved her since her first day) relaxed her immediately. Everything went very well. During her break Lisa went to see her and they chatted and drank coffee before going back to do the other part of the shift. Until then, everything was going perfectly. No sign of people she didn't want to see, she hadn't had any rude customers and her boss was in a very good mood. It was all too good to be true since luck is not something that goes on her side.

Y/n was getting ready to close the shop and at that point she was usually alone. She was putting the chairs on the table when she heard the entrance bell signal that someone else was there with her. When she turned to inform the customer that they were closed, she came across someone she didn't want or even expeected to see.

In front of her was Jungkook with wet hair and helmet in hand. He seemed agitated, confused and angry. Very angry. Y/n couldn't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in days. She stopped on the spot, what would she say or do? They hadn't seen or spoken to each other for almost a week and the atmosphere was tense and she just wanted to disappear.

He looked at her with such an intense gaze that she had to turn away while saying "we are closed" and pretended to keep doing what she was doing.

"Really? After days of complete silence while i was worried sick about you. After leaving without any kind of warning? After that stupid fight on the club and sudden departure with someone that neither Sewoon nor I knew, that's all you have to tell me? we are closed? Are you for real?”

Y/n stopped doing what she was doing but kept her back to him. It’s a good thing he couldn't see her because her hands were like jelly, shaking so much that she thought she was going to faint right there, however continued to act tough and ignored him, took a deep breath and started walking to the counter until she felt a hand grab her arm.

“Y/n please stop shitting me. I’ve been going crazy these last few days because of you and you act like you don't care. I don't know what's worse, your attitude or the fact that I don't recognize you at all" and with these words Y/n turned around and looked at him with tears threatening to fall. She released herself from Jungkook's hand and turned completely towards him. She was on the verge of bursting.

“You. Out of all people YOU are the only one who can't say that. I did everything for you Jungkook. I was always there for you when you needed me, remember? I knew when you were good, when you were sad, when it wasn't the best time to talk and when you wanted to say something but didn't know how. You needed me and I was there but when it was the other way around, were you there for me? Did you care at all?” she sighed “All this because I didn't answer to some calls and texts from you? You were so worried about me that you were always tied to Sewoon, don't tell me you were also worried about me when you were inside her. Be honest Jungkook, you only remembered me when it suited you. Admit it, when it comes to me you don't think twice."

Jungkook didn't say anything, he looked at her as if she had just stuck a knife into him. He expected everything but this version of Y/n. He had noticed for some time she was different but he never asked her because he didn't want to bring up the subject that was bothering her hoping she’d be the one to open up to him yet it seems like it was a bad decision to wait. Maybe he should have talked to her when he noticed it, he knows he was stupid but he wasn't going to give in now. He was about to speak again when Y/n continued her speech.

“Things weren't supposed to be like this but everything is already ruined so what I'm about to say won't make a difference and honestly I'm tired of staying silent so as not to hurt other people and try to please them. That's why I'm in this shit right now, so here it goes.” Y/n looks him straight in the eyes and more tears run down her face, it's now or never.

“I’m in love with you Jungkook”

As soon as the words left her mouth, a sob came out as well. This is where it ends and she knows it. His expression changed from angry to pure shock. She knew him very well, but at this moment she couldn't read his thoughts, everything was so confusing, he seemed so confused and she didn't understand why. She was breaking and to avoid even more suffering said

“Please let's not talk about this anymore. Things are pretty obvious and we don't need to drag this out any further. I need to close this Jungkook, I'm tired and I need--"

“How long Y/n? How long have you felt this way?” Jungkook's look was anything but disappointed. It was a look she couldn't decipher and she also didn't know if she wanted to. Y/n looked down and replied

“ A few months after we met and started hanging out more” Jungkook turned around and placed his elbows on the counter and his hands resting on his head.

“And you never thought to tell me? Don't you think that would be a good thing to do?” he sounded so mad. “All this time you had feelings for me and you never said anything, never showed any signs and now I'm the bad guy for moving on with my life? And why you’re talking about Sewoon? We broke things off a long time ago and you know it. You were there!”

“Ohh please Jungkook, anything but that. I'm not blaming you for anything, in fact, I even supported you, remember ? it was ME who introduced you to Sewoon because YOU wanted me to! Even if I told you earlier what would change? Every time you came to me it was either because you just had a dinner date or someone had asked for your number. You love to say I'm always on your mind, I guess that I wasn’t on it those nights. I'm just the girl you would share things with and ask for advice, you don't have to be very smart to see that.”

“Is that why you left without saying anything?” Y/n looked at him and when he saw that he wasn't getting a response, he went to her and got so close that she could see all the moles on his face, some that she hadn't even realized he had.

“Y/n answer me. It's the least I deserve.” Even though there was some distance between them, Y/n felt trapped so she decided to move away a little, hitting her back on the counter.

“Yes. After our conversation at the club and the way I saw you look at Sewoon I realized that there was no chance for me, not that I didn't already know, but I got the confirmation that day and the way you were more interested in going to her than hearing me confirmed my guesses once again, yet it was when you went to her and you kissed in the middle of all those people that my heart was left in pieces. I looked at you and instead of being happy that my best friend was back with the girl he's in love with, I just wished it was me in her place. I had to get out of there before everyone saw me break." Y/n cleaned some tears that were running down

"In Sewoon's eyes I'm already pathetic, but in yours? I preferred to die than to know you had that image of me. I went to the bathroom and that's when I met a friend from school, we ended up talking and exchanging contacts. She asked me if I wanted a ride and I took the opportunity to leave, that's when you found me. That night I spent at her house and she made me an offer and invited me to go traveling with her. For my mental health I accepted and only God knows what it cost me not to have said anything to you and I'm really sorry for that, I know it wasn't the right thing to do, but Jungkook you didn't care either because when I texted you back you never answered me. You can't judge my actions after having done the same thing.”

“You could never be pathetic y/n. I've always said how much I admire the way you are and I keep praising that, I would never get that impression of you. I know you went on a trip with Lisa and two other boys, Sewoon had shown me pictures of you, that's why I don't understand Y/n, none of this adds up. And I never received any text from you because unlike you, every day I checked if you had come to work, if you sent anything or if Sewoon knew anything about you. That's the reason I was with Sewoon a lot more these last few days. It's sad that I only found out that you were back because I saw your friend here yesterday, I recognized her from those photos, so I went to her and asked her about you. She told me you were coming back to work today and to show up around this time because you'd be alone. I was crazy looking for you, wondering if you were in a dead end, that's when Sewoon called me saying you were okay, hanging with some guys you probably met there. She also sent me the pictures, that's when I calmed down.”

Y/n didn't know which part made her more shocked, if the fact that Lisa spoke to Jungkook or knowing Sewoon sent the photos to him and omitted the fact that they both know the boy in question.

"Oh my god. After all this time Sewoon is still keeping you in the dark. Well just so you know the guy who posted the pictures is Sewoons ex-boyfriend, the one she left you for. Remember when she broke up with you? Yeah it was because of him. There are definitely things you should clarify with her, as she changes everything that corresponds to reality. Things that don't concern me at all and to be honest I'm tired of this conversation, it doesn't matter anymore. Things happened and it's ove, so if you don't mind it was a complicated day --” She didn't expect Jungkook to get so close to her but the truth is that they were centimeters away from each other and that was making her even more nervous and uncomfortable. She tried to get around him but he put his arms on either side of Y/n's body, trapping her there.

"Did it work? Did you forget about me there? Did any of those guys help you forget me?” Y/n had no response, she was completely surrendered to looking between his eyes and lips. She wasn't brave enough to grab him and kiss him, specially since he was still fooling around with Sewoon or so she thought, even tho the denied it. Still she wouldn't feel good doing that even if Sewoon hadn't been the best friend, so she did what she does best, avoided the interaction.

“"I had fun and regardless of things I don't owe you any kind of explanation. I finally learned my lesson and you're not the exception, Jungkook. You're the rule and I don't give second chances to get me hurt, not even to you. I don't want to continue in this agony every time I see you and ask myself why others and not me? It took me a long time to get there but I finally managed to understand that as long as I don't like and accept myself as I am, neither will others and for that reason I ask you not to come here again. This is a closed subject and one that I want to bury.”

“We’re not done having this conversation Y/n, I have to tell you some-”

“Yes we are Jungkook, don’t you get it? I just told you I’m in love with you. My best friend who’s in love with my other best friend, who's still into her ex boyfriend. Did you even hear what I said about Sewoon?"

" I don't care about Sewoon,Y/n. Don't you fucking get it? All this time the only person on my mind was you. I tried really hard not to call you because why would I need to know where you were or who you were with. In your eyes I dated your best friend but in my eyes the only thing that connected me to her was you."

"Lisa has been fixing something she didn’t break because of how weak I was to stand for myself. I’m tired of being this innocent and naive girl everyone can step on. I'm not blaming you Jungkook, you didn't know and things turned out this way and it's okay. It's over and I think it's the best for you and me. I’ll be here if you need something but right now I don’t want to be around you. I need to fix myself before being there for you or Sewoon again and if you really care about me you’ll respect that”

“Y/n, you're not understanding I--"

“Please Jungkook, just go. Let me do this for me and maybe we can talk about this in the future and laugh about it.” He didn't say anything else, he swallowed hard, shook his head, picked up his helmet and left, slamming the door loudly and that's when y/n collapsed.

"I love you Jungkook. I love you so much but I can't be your second option." Y/n said as she slid down the wall, succumbing to the pain of something she never had.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

tags: @esposadomd @joonlover1207 @eegyo @furrywonderlandwolf @minghaosimp @differentrunawayperson @nikkinikj @jksusawife @jk97bam @cryingoverpixelsetc @bhonbhon @lostinneocity @almostpurplelady @meowforluv @imagine-this-motherfucker @jk-190811 @cryingoverpixelsetc @11thenightwemet11 @rinkud @ayatie97 @jk-190811 @shaku1995

#jungkook #angst #jungkook imagines #bts #imagines #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #fluff #kpop angst #bts angst #jeon jungkook

164 notes · View notes

pbaz7 · 10 hours ago

Text

AGAINST THE TIDE: PART ELEVEN

paige x azzi

word count: 5.5k

A/N: I don’t know how I feel about this chapter, today felt fake and life can’t be real😭. I just need to have a lil crash out and I’ll work on making the next chapter better lol. Let me know what you think please and I hope everyone has/had a great day :)

—————————————————————————

January 2023

The library wasn’t their usual hangout spot, and for good reason. The last time they’d been here, a fan had spilled Paige’s Shirley Temple all over her book in an overly enthusiastic attempt to get a picture Paige had agreed to. But Paige and Azzi had no other choice today. They’ve been “catching up” with each other quite often— in Paige’s room, in Azzi’s, and even the living room a few times—and they realized they weren’t getting anything productive done and they had a lot to do. So the library was their last resort: a public space where they really had no choice but to not touch each other.

Azzi sat across from Paige, grumbling at her math homework. "Why do I need to do math for a communications degree?" she muttered, glaring at the numbers on her paper as if they’d personally wronged her.

Paige laughed softly, reaching over to take the paper from her. “Lemme see baby.” She skimmed it, already recognizing the concepts—it was the same class she’d taken last semester. Without a word, Paige grabbed her pencil and jotted down some notes in the margins, showing Azzi an easier way to solve the problems.

Handing the paper back, Paige teased, “You’re lucky I love you or I’d charge a pretty penny.”

Azzi grinned, a soft "Thank you, baby," slipping out as she leaned back in her chair. Paige just winked, the corner of her mouth lifting in a smirk before returning her focus to her paper.

The two worked in silence, the scratch of Azzi’s pen and Paige’s typing mixed with the distant hum of whispered conversations were the only sounds between them. Azzi, always needing some kind of contact, lightly tapped her foot against Paige’s under the table. Paige didn’t look up, but a small smile tugged at her lips as she nudged Azzi’s foot back, indulging her.

They were so engrossed in their work that neither noticed someone approaching until a voice broke the quiet.

“Hi, Azzi!”

Paige looked up, her brows knitting in mild confusion at the sight of a girl she didn’t recognize. Azzi, however, smiled in recognition.

“Oh my God, hey! It’s nice to see you outside of class,” Azzi said warmly. She gestured between them. “Paige, this is Elle—she’s in a couple of my classes. Elle, this is Paige.”

Before Paige could say a polite “Nice to meet you,” Elle let out a laugh, shaking her head. “I know who she is, Az. It’s kind of hard not to know who Paige Bueckers is on this campus.”

Paige chuckled, though the comment made her cringe a little inside. She always hated when people did that. Meeting someone and knowing of them were completely different in her mind. Still, she managed a smile, keeping it light. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”

Azzi quickly looked between them, having heard Paige ramble about people doing that to her more than once before. Once she realized Paige was fine she turned her attention back to Elle who was chatting about their class. Paige shifted her focus back to her paper, letting Azzi carry the conversation, her foot still brushing against Paige’s under the table as she worked.

At some point, Elle had slid into the seat next to Azzi, the two of them catching up on class and tossing around ideas for a project they had agreed to work on together after Elle asked. Paige stayed quiet, her focus seemingly glued to her laptop as she worked on her paper. But she couldn’t help noticing the way Elle leaned in a little too much, her gaze lingering on Azzi when she thought no one was looking.

Paige didn’t say anything—she wasn’t worried in the slightest. Azzi was hers, and she knew it. Still, she made a mental note of Elle’s overly enthusiastic demeanor, keeping it there for later just in case.

Eventually, their conversation faded, and the table fell into a quiet rhythm. Elle was scribbling in a notebook, Azzi flipping through her math notes, and Paige’s fingers tapped steadily on her keyboard. The library’s soft hum of whispers filled the silence between them, broken only by the occasional shuffle of papers.

It wasn’t until Paige felt a familiar brush of Azzi’s leg against hers under the table that she glanced up. Azzi was already looking at her, a faint smile tugging at her lips. Paige couldn’t help but grin back, warmth spreading through her chest.

Lifting her hand from the keyboard, Paige tapped her finger on the table three times—a silent “I love you.”

Azzi’s cheeks flushed pink, her eyes darting back down to her notes as she quickly gathered herself. She stole a glance at Elle, who seemed oblivious to the exchange, and let out a quiet breath.

Paige, clearly amused, went back to her paper, a satisfied smirk playing on her lips at getting the reaction from Azzi.

…

As the clock crept closer to the library’s closing time, Paige closed her laptop with a soft thud, stretching her arms over her head. “Alright,” she said, glancing at Azzi. “Az you almost ready, I’m done for the night.”

Azzi nodded, letting out a quiet sigh as she began organizing her notes. “Yeah, same. My brain’s fried.”

Elle looked up from her notebook, her gaze flicking between them. “Heading out already?” she asked, her tone light but with a hint of disappointment.

“Yeah,” Paige replied, sliding her notebooks into her bag. “We have an early morning practice tomorrow.”

Azzi added, “And I’m pretty sure I’ve maxed out my tolerance for math tonight.” She gestured to her notes with a dramatic groan.

Elle chuckled. “If you ever need help with it, Azzi, let me know. I know he can be tough—I’d be happy to go over things with you so we can figure it out together. Maybe make it less painful.”

Azzi shook her head, laughing softly. “Thanks, but I’m good for now. Paige already helped me out. She’s like my personal mini Isaac Newton.”

Paige laughed at the comparison, adjusting the strap of her bag. Elle’s eyes flicked toward her, curious. “Wait, you understand this professor? How?”

Paige gave a polite smile. “I took him last semester. He’s not as bad once you figure out his style.”

Elle tilted her head, intrigued. “Ah ok. Are you in communications too?”

Paige shook her head. “Nah, human development and family sciences.”

Elle blinked, her eyebrows lifting slightly. “Oh wow. I wouldn’t have guessed that. I mean… you’re so busy with basketball, I didn’t think you’d have time for something so... strenuous.”

There was a pause at her tone, but Paige’s smile didn’t drop. “I make it work,” she said simply, her tone even but firm.

Azzi, noticing the subtle tension, broke in with a grin. “She’s being modest.”

Paige gave her a look, but her lips twitched with amusement. “Don’t start big head.”

Elle laughed lightly, though her attention lingered on Paige a moment longer. “Well, that’s impressive,” she said, her tone softer now. “Good for you.”

Paige nodded. “Thanks.”

As the conversation ebbed, Elle turned her attention back to Azzi, her tone a little more animated. “By the way, I meant to tell you—your presentation last week? It was really good. Like, you made everything sound so clear and relatable. I was kind of jealous.”

Azzi laughed, shaking her head. “Thanks, but I’m pretty sure I stumbled through half of it.”

“No way,” Elle insisted. “You were amazing. Honestly, I wish I had even half your confidence when I’m up there.”

Paige watched the exchange quietly, her expression unreadable as she scrolled on her phone waiting for Azzi.

Azzi shrugged modestly. “Appreciate it, but it’s all practice. I’m a little lucky with getting the extra practice from interviews. You’ll get there though.”

As they gathered the last of their things, Elle leaned slightly toward Azzi, her voice dropping just enough to seem more personal. “Seriously, though, if you ever want to practice a presentation or go over the project, just text me. I’d love to help out—or just hang out, you know.”

Paige’s brow twitched, but she remained silent, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

Azzi smiled, brushing it off with her usual ease. “Will do. Thanks, Elle.”

As they started walking toward the exit, Elle called after them with a warm smile, her gaze lingering on Azzi. “Goodnight! Azzi, don’t forget—I’m just a text away.”

Azzi turned, waving casually. “Got it. See you in class.”

…

About a week later they found themselves back in the library. This time because Azzi needed to work on her project with Elle and the team made it a point to not have people they didn’t know that well know where their rooms were. Paige had begrudgingly agreed to tag along after Azzi made her turn off the game. Ice, who had been playing the game with Paige and someone who was always up for people-watching and a chance to bother Paige, came along too, settling next to Paige at the table.

Azzi and Elle sat on the opposite side, laptops open and papers spread out between them as they hashed out the finer details of their project. Paige had her own laptop propped up, supposedly working on a presentation, but her focus wavered as her attention drifted to the other pair.

It didn’t escape Paige how Elle seemed to hang on to every word Azzi said, nodding eagerly, her expression animated. And while Paige tried to ignore it, she couldn’t help but notice how Elle’s chair seemed to have mysteriously scooted a couple of inches closer to Azzi since they’d sat down.

A buzz from her phone interrupted her thoughts. Picking it up, Paige saw a text from Ice, who was smirking faintly next to her.

Icy ❄️: She’s eager.

Paige but back a laugh as she typed a reply.

P Boogers ⛹🏼‍♀️: So I’m not crazy?

Her phone buzzed almost immediately.

Icy ❄️: If she leans in any closer, she’s falling in Azzi’s lap

Paige let out a quiet snort, her shoulders shaking slightly as she glanced up at Ice. The two exchanged amused looks before Ice added another text.

Icy ❄️: Lowkey feel like we intruding on her plans

That one made Paige laugh under her breath, though she quickly covered it with a cough, glancing down at her screen to hide her amusement.

Azzi, picking up on the movement and muffled sounds, glanced up from her notes. Her brow furrowed in curiosity as she looked between Paige and Ice. “What’s so funny?” she asked, tilting her head.

Paige gave her an innocent look, raising an eyebrow. “Nothing,” she said smoothly, but the slight twitch of her lips betrayed her.

Azzi narrowed her eyes, clearly unconvinced. “Mhm. Sure.”

Paige just shot her a knowing look that said, I’ll tell you later, before going back to typing on her laptop.

Meanwhile, Elle, seemingly oblivious to the exchange, leaned a little closer to Azzi, pointing at something on the screen. “So, for this part, we could either expand on the point or keep it short. What do you think?”

Azzi considered it for a moment before responding, her tone thoughtful. “I think we should keep it short. Too much detail might make it confusing.”

Elle nodded enthusiastically. “That makes sense. You’re really good at simplifying things. Honestly, I’d be lost without you right now.”

Ice and Paige exchanged another glance, Ice raising an eyebrow as if to say, See what I mean? Paige’s lips twitched in amusement, but she said nothing, focusing instead on her work.

As the day wore on, the dynamic remained the same—Elle constantly seeking Azzi’s input, Paige silently observing, and Ice sneaking occasional texts that kept Paige entertained.

The library was quieter than usual today. Paige had her glasses, that Azzi thankfully grabbed for her, perched on her nose as she typed away on her laptop with her iPad propped up silently playing an NBA game. Next to her Ice scrolled through her phone, occasionally tapping away at her own work. Azzi and Elle, were still engrossed in their project, their heads bent close together over Azzi’s laptop.

The steady rhythm of their work was interrupted when a young woman approached the table nervously. “I’m so sorry to bother you while you’re working,” she said timidly, her eyes flicking to Paige. “But could I get a picture with you?”

Paige looked up, blinking behind her glasses before offering a warm smile. “No, it’s okay. Of course.” She took off her glasses, setting them on the table, and pushed her chair back slightly to make room.

The girl quickly leaned in, snapping a selfie with Paige, her excitement clear. “Thank you so much,” she said breathlessly, clutching her phone like a treasure. “And I’m sorry for bothering you!”

“Don’t worry about it,” Paige replied easily, giving her a quick smile. “Have a good day.”

As the girl walked away, Paige casually slipped her glasses back on and resumed typing as if nothing had happened. Ice didn’t look up from her phone, and Azzi returned her attention to her laptop. Elle, however, was looking at Paige with thinly veiled curiosity.

“Isn’t that a little weird?” Elle finally asked, breaking the silence.

Paige raised an eyebrow, looking at her. “What’s weird?”

“People just… walking up to you like that,” Elle said, gesturing vaguely. “Doesn’t it bother you?”

Paige shrugged, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Not really. I’ll always make time for people who support me.”

Elle tilted her head, her curiosity not quite satisfied. “Your girlfriend doesn’t get jealous?”

At this, Paige froze, her fingers hovering over the keyboard. Ice’s head snapped up, and Azzi’s shoulders stiffened slightly. A brief silence fell over the table as Paige stared at Elle, confused.

“What?” Paige asked, her tone guarded.

Elle pointed at Paige’s neck, her lips quirking into a faint smile. “Your neck. There’s, um… a lot going on there.”

Realization dawned on Paige, and hand’s moving to adjust her hoodie to cover the faint marks Azzi had left a little too high this time around. Her cheeks tinged pink, but she quickly covered it with a chuckle. “Oh. Guess she got a little overzealous,” as she shoots a brief glare at Azzi.

Azzi’s lips twitched, clearly amused, while Ice smirked knowingly, leaning back in her chair to watch the interaction unfold.

Paige cleared her throat, still adjusting her hoodie. “Why’d you assume it’s a girl?” she asked, glancing at Elle with a curious expression.

Elle shrugged, a faint grin tugging at her lips. “I don’t know. You just… give off those vibes.”

Ice snickered at this, covering her mouth with her hand as Paige shot her a quick glare. Azzi raised an eyebrow, looking more entertained than anything.

Paige chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of her neck. “Uh, thanks, I guess?” she muttered before clearing her throat. “But, um, no, to answer your question... she doesn’t mind.”

Elle looked surprised at Paige’s admission, but her curiosity only deepened. “Really? She’s cool with random people coming up to you all the time? A lot of them probably have crushes.”

Paige’s expression softened slightly, a small smile playing at her lips. “Yeah,” she said, her voice quieter now. “She understands what it’s like.”

The words hung in the air for a moment, carrying a weight that Elle didn’t fully grasp. Azzi glanced at Paige, her features relaxing into a fond smile that she quickly masked by looking down at her notebook.

Ice, however, noticed and smirked again, biting her lip to keep from laughing. “Yeah, I bet she really understands,” Ice muttered under her breath, just loud enough for Paige to hear.

Paige shot her another quick glare but couldn’t fight the grin tugging at her lips. “Mind your business,” she mumbled, turning her focus back to her laptop.

Elle smirked slightly but didn’t press further, turning her attention to Azzi instead. “So, Azzi, are you single?”

Azzi, caught off guard, coughed slightly, shifting in her seat and simultaneously adjusting her hoodie just in case. “No, I’m not,” she said, her voice calm.

Elle blinked, visibly surprised. “Oh, wow. Really? You’ve never mentioned him before.”

Azzi’s lips quirked in a subtle smile as she corrected, “Her.” She glanced at Paige briefly before adding, “And we’re just private people.”

Paige couldn’t stop the small snicker that escaped her lips, amused by Azzi’s excuse. Without missing a beat, Azzi’s foot shot out under the table, connecting lightly with Paige’s shin. Paige bit the inside of her cheek to keep her reaction in check, keeping her gaze fixed on her laptop as if nothing had happened.

Elle tilted her head, her surprise growing at Azzi’s correction. “Oh, I didn’t know you were gay.”

Paige’s jaw immediately tightened at the comment, her fingers pausing over her keyboard. She glanced at Elle, a faint glare flickering in her eyes, but she bit her tongue, waiting to see how Azzi would respond considering Elle was her friend.

Azzi, however, remained composed, her expression calm. “Yeah, I am,” she replied simply, the edge of a confident smile playing on her lips.

Paige’s tension eased slightly at Azzi’s response, but she couldn’t resist shooting Elle one more look before returning her attention to her laptop. Under the table, Azzi’s foot lightly nudged Paige’s again, softer this time, a silent reminder to let it go. Paige exhaled, her irritation fading as she refocused on her screen knowing Azzi was fine.

Elle hesitated, clearly trying to mask her disappointment at Azzi having a girlfriend before nodding. “Oh, that’s cool. But yeah private is good. I totally get it.”

Ice barely suppressed a grin as she glanced between them, but Paige remained focused on her work, her expression unreadable. Azzi, meanwhile, busied herself with her screen, though Paige caught the faint pink tint on her ears, a detail that made her smile to herself.

The group settled back into a rhythm of quiet productivity, but Paige couldn’t help stealing occasional glances at Azzi and Elle. Azzi seemed fully absorbed in her project, her brow furrowed in that cute way Paige loves, as she scrolled through a document while Elle leaned closer than necessary, pointing something out on the screen.

She stole another glance at Azzi, who was now leaning back in her chair, looking at Elle with a little bewilderment.

“You’re sure this part makes sense?” Elle asked, her tone unusually sweet. “I feel like I’m overthinking it.”

Azzi shrugged. “It looks fine to me.”

“But what if—”

“It’s fine, Elle,” Azzi cut her off with a light laugh, leaning forward to tap the screen. “Seriously, stop stressing. This part’s solid.”

Elle relaxed a little, her shoulders dropping as she smiled back. “Thanks. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Paige’s grip on her pen tightened slightly now, growing a little tired of Elle throwing herself at her girlfriend. She exchanged another look with Ice, who snorted quietly at Paige’s irritation.

Before the tension could linger, Ice leaned forward, tapping the table with her knuckle. “Hey, Azzi, you about done? Paige and I were thinking of grabbing food after this.”

Azzi glanced at Paige, who was still focused on her laptop. “Yeah, I’m almost ready. Give me a sec.”

Elle looked between them, her smile faltering slightly. “Oh, you’re all going together?”

Azzi nodded. “Yeah. we probably don’t have an ounce of food in our rooms right now.”

“Sounds fun,” Elle said, her tone light but her eyes lingering on Azzi a moment too long.

About five minutes later Azzi zipped up her bag, organizing the last of her notes as Paige stood up from her seat. Paige’s eyes landed on Azzi’s phone sitting on the table. Remembering something the younger girl was hiding, she reached for it, her fingers unlocking it with practiced ease.

Elle looked up from her own computer, eyebrows raising slightly. She expected some sort of protest from Azzi, but none came. Azzi didn’t even glance up, completely unfazed as Paige casually scrolled through her phone.

“Hmm,” Paige muttered to herself, tilting the phone slightly away from wandering eyes before walking around the table to Azzi’s side. She stopped just behind her, holding the screen in front of Azzi. “What’s this for?”

Azzi glanced at the phone, her lips curving into a faint smile. “You weren’t supposed to see that yet.”

Paige leaned down slightly, her voice dropping into a soft whisper, just low enough that Elle couldn’t hear. “Too late now. I like it a lot, though.”

Azzi’s body instinctively leaned back into Paige as she whispered something back to her. Her movement wasn’t much—just the smallest shift—but it was enough to make her posture relax, as if her body naturally sought Paige’s presence.

Elle’s eyes flicked between the two of them watching the subtle exchange, her brows furrowing slightly. She tried to keep her expression neutral, but the way her jaw tightened didn’t go unnoticed by Ice, who stifled a laugh behind her hand.

Paige chuckled softly, straightening up and handing the phone back to Azzi. “I look forward to it.”

Azzi tilted her head, giving Paige a small smile. “Mm I’m sure you do.”

Elle cleared her throat, the sound making both Paige and Azzi glance her way.

“You guys are close,” Elle said, her tone light but tinged with something else.

Ice coughed, failing to hide her snicker.

Paige smiled politely, tucking her hands into her pockets. “Yeah, she’s like my best friend.”

Azzi didn’t add anything, instead focusing on grabbing her bag.

After bidding goodbye, the three of them headed toward the door, leaving Elle at the table as she worked on something else.

…

Later that night, Paige and Azzi were tangled together on Paige’s bed, the room dimly lit by her led lights. Paige hovered over Azzi, her lips brushing against hers before she nipped playfully at Azzi’s bottom lip.

“Ow,” Azzi laughed softly, pulling back just enough to pout at her. “That one actually hurt.”

Paige smirked, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “Oh, come on, you’re fine.” She leaned down to kiss her softly, the pout on Azzi’s face melting away almost immediately.

Azzi deepened the kiss, her hands sliding up Paige’s sides, drawing a quiet sigh from her. Paige pulled away slightly, her lips brushing against Azzi’s as she murmured with a chuckle, “You’re such a hornball.”

Azzi grinned, her fingers tugging lightly at the hem of Paige’s shirt. “Can you blame me?”

Paige laughed, sitting back and pulling her shirt off in one smooth motion. Azzi’s eyes immediately landed on the marks she’d left across Paige’s collarbone and shoulders earlier.

“You got me caught up earlier” Paige teased, leaning back down to kiss Azzi again.

Azzi didn’t respond with words, just a satisfied hum as her hands slid into Paige’s hair, undoing her bun.

The soft buzz of Azzi’s phone on the nightstand interrupted them. Azzi ignored it, her focus entirely on Paige, until the buzzing sounded again, twice in quick succession.

“Popular tonight,” Paige muttered against her lips, but Azzi just shook her head, pulling her closer.

Then the phone started ringing.

Paige sighed and pulled back, reaching over to grab the phone from the nightstand. Azzi groaned, her head falling back against the pillow.

“What?” she grumbled, not even bothering to look as Paige’s fingers swiped across the screen looking at the three messages prior to the call .

Paige raised an eyebrow at all the messages and the call. “Elle,” she said, turning the screen toward Azzi.

Azzi’s eyes opened, her brows furrowing slightly. “Seriously?” she muttered, reaching out for the phone, but Paige pulled it back out of her reach.

“Should I answer it?” Paige asked, a teasing smile on her face, already knowing the answer.

“No, give it to me,” Azzi said, sitting up slightly and reaching for it again, but Paige held firm, her grin widening.

Without waiting for a response, Paige answered the call, putting it on speaker. “Hello?”

There was a brief pause on the other end before Elle’s voice came through, hesitant but upbeat. “Um… Azzi?”

Paige smirked, holding the phone just out of Azzi’s reach for a moment. “Yeah she’s right here one sec,” she said into the receiver, handing it off to Azzi with an innocent smile that Azzi didn’t trust for a second.

Azzi sighed, taking the phone and pressing it to her ear. “Hey, Elle. What’s up?” she asked, forcing her voice to sound casual.

“Oh hey! I just wanted to check if you’ve had a chance to go over the notes I sent over after you left,” Elle said brightly.

“Uh… not yet,” Azzi replied, her voice steady, though her gaze flickered to Paige, who was leaning closer with a grin. “I’ve been… busy.”

Paige leaned back on her elbow for a moment, watching her, but then she leaned forward again, her lips brushing softly against the curve of Azzi’s neck. Azzi’s shoulders tensed as she sent Paige a sharp look, mouthing, Don’t start.

“Oh, no worries,” Elle said cheerfully. “I just thought it might help if we went through them together? Maybe tomorrow after class?”

“Yeah, um… that could work,” Azzi said, her voice faltering slightly as Paige pressed a kiss to her neck, this time lingering. Azzi’s free hand pushed weakly at her shoulder, but Paige didn’t budge, her lips curling into a smirk against Azzi’s skin.

“Great!” Elle continued, completely unaware. “Do you want to meet at the library again? Or maybe somewhere quieter where we won’t get distracted? There’s this pretty private coffee shop I know about.”

Azzi’s grip tightened on the phone as Paige began trailing kisses down her neck, her warm breath sending shivers down Azzi’s spine. “Uh… the library’s fine,” Azzi managed to get out, her voice strained.

“Okay, cool that’s fine! Oh, and by the way,” Elle added, her tone turning slightly sheepish, “I actually wanted to ask you about that third slide. I’m not sure I totally understood the point you were making.”

Azzi groaned softly—not at Elle’s question, but at Paige’s lips finding a particularly sensitive spot. She tried to compose herself. “The third slide?” she repeated, her voice higher than normal.

“Yeah, the one about media convergence. Like, how does that tie back to our overall thesis?” Elle asked, her enthusiasm completely at odds with Azzi’s internal panic.

“Um… well,” Azzi started, her words fumbling as Paige smiled against her skin at her struggling. Paige leaned back just enough to whisper, “You’re doing great,” before moving to another spot, this time lightly nipping. Azzi let out a sharp breath and had to clamp her mouth shut to stop any further noise from slipping out.

“I, uh…” Azzi struggled to focus. “It’s about… the integration of different media platforms. Like—um—it shows how, uh, traditional and digital media can…”

Paige’s quiet laugh at Azzi’s stumbling didn’t help. Azzi sent her a pleading look, but Paige just raised her eyebrows as if to say, Don’t mind me.

“That makes sense!” Elle said, completely oblivious. “But do you think we should include more recent examples, like TikTok trends or streaming platforms? Or is that too specific?”

“Sure,” Azzi said quickly, squeezing her eyes shut as Paige sucked hard above her collarbone, barely registering the question. “Whatever you think works is fine.”

“Okay, cool! I’ll jot that down,” Elle replied. “So, do you think we could finalize that section tomorrow? I feel like if we can tighten it up, the rest of the presentation will fall into place.”

“Uh-huh,” Azzi said, nodding absentmindedly, her resolve crumbling as Paige continued to suck gently on her neck, making her breath hitch time and time again. She bit her lip hard, trying to keep her composure as Paige started trailing further down her chest.

“Oh! And about the intro slide—” Elle started, but Azzi couldn’t take it anymore as Paige tilted her head to the side for more access.

“Elle,” she interrupted, her tone a little sharper than intended. “Let’s… uh… finalize everything tomorrow, okay? I’ll take a look at the notes before we meet, I promise.”

There was a brief pause. “Oh, yeah, of course! Sorry if I’m keeping you from something you sound busy,” Elle said, her tone apologetic now.

Azzi huffed softly, glancing at Paige, who was smirking triumphantly. “It’s fine,” Azzi said quickly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay, sounds good! Have a good night!” Elle chirped.

“You too,” Azzi replied before ending the call and tossing the phone onto the bed.

Azzi turned to Paige, her cheeks flushed. “You’re on timeout,” she said firmly, though the hint of her smile betrayed her.

Paige leaned back on her elbows, completely unrepentant. “What? I was just keeping myself entertained while my girl was busy,” she said, her grin widening.

Azzi groaned, running a hand through her hair. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Paige raised an eyebrow. “Elle seems to think you are too.”

Azzi’s head snapped toward Paige, frowning. “What? No, she doesn’t,” she said, crossing her arms defensively.

Paige snorted, sitting up straighter. “Yeah, okay. She’s just super friendly, right? Sure.”

“She is just friendly,” Azzi said, rolling her eyes. “That’s just her personality.”

Paige tilted her head, a smile tugging at her lips. “Mmm. I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure she has a little crush on you.”

Azzi huffed, but the faintest hint of pink crept up her neck at herself, possibly being oblivious. “You’re imagining things.”

“Oh, I’m imagining things?” Paige asked. “She doesn’t light up every time you talk? Or scoot her chair closer? Practically trip over herself to help you?”

Azzi hesitated, and Paige continued. “See? You know I’m right.”

“She’s just… enthusiastic,” Azzi muttered, though her tone wasn’t as confident as before.

Paige chuckled, shaking her head. “Okay, how about this then? Let’s make a bet.”

Azzi narrowed her eyes. “A bet? About what?”

Paige leaned back against the headboard, her smirk growing. “Simple. I bet Elle tries something tomorrow when you meet up.”

Azzi groaned, grabbing a pillow. “Paige, she’s not going to try anything. I told her I have a girlfriend.”

Paige raised an eyebrow, her expression skeptical. “Yeah, because that always stops people who are already crushing hard.”

Azzi let out a laugh, tossing the pillow at Paige. “You’re so full of it. Fine. What are we betting?”

Paige smirked, leaning forward slightly. “Alright, if I’m right, you gotta let me put her in her place.”

Azzi groaned, dropping her head into her hands. “Paige, no.”

“What?” Paige said, laughing. “I’m not saying I’ll be mean. Just, you know, a little something to make it clear who you belong to.”

Azzi shook her head, though she couldn’t fight the small smile tugging at her lips. “You’re annoying.”

“I’m hilarious,” Paige corrected, leaning back smugly. “Come on, it’ll be harmless. I swear I won’t be over the top.”

Azzi sighed, shaking her head in disbelief. “You’re ridiculous. Fine. But what happens if I win?”

Paige shrugged casually. “I don’t know. You can pick.”

Azzi’s gaze shifted toward the closet, her expression turning mischievous.

Paige immediately sat up, narrowing her eyes. “Hell no.”

Azzi pouted dramatically, clasping her hands together like she was begging. “You’re no fun.”

“That’s never happening Az and you know it,” Paige said firmly, crossing her arms.

“Fine,” Azzi said, sighing as though greatly inconvenienced. “If I win, you’re doing the dishes for a week. And laundry.”

Paige groaned, throwing herself back onto the bed. “Why do your bets always come with chores?”

“Because I’m practical,” Azzi said, grinning as she lay down beside her. “And because I know you’ll lose.”

Paige turned her head, giving Azzi a playful glare. “We’ll see about that.”

Azzi laughed softly, shaking her head. “Alright, deal.”

Paige held out her pinky. “Pinky swear?”

Azzi rolled her eyes but hooked her pinky with Paige’s anyway. “You’re so weird.”

“I love you too,” Paige said, her grin widening.

Azzi rolled her eyes, though the fond smile on her lips betrayed her. “I don’t want to talk about her anymore,” she said, her voice softening as she moved to climb onto Paige’s lap, straddling her with ease.

Paige’s breath hitched slightly, her hands instinctively finding Azzi’s hips. She tilted her head back, her lips curving into a smirk. “Mmm,” she murmured, her thumbs brushing lightly over Azzi’s sides. “What do you wanna talk about then?”

Azzi leaned down, her hands bracing on either side of Paige’s head as her lips hovered just above hers. Her eyes gleamed with mischief as she whispered, “I don’t really want to talk.”

Paige’s smirk deepened, her grip on Azzi’s hips tightening slightly. “Good,” she said, her voice dropping to a low, teasing murmur. “Talking’s overrated.”

Azzi chuckled softly before closing the gap between them, her lips pressing against Paige’s with a slow, deliberate intensity. Paige responded immediately, her hands sliding up Azzi’s sides and pulling her closer, deepening the kiss.

#pazzi #paige x azzi #pazzi fics

135 notes · View notes

juniperskye · 2 days ago

Text

You’re Not Alone In This.

Based on the following ask: @itzvenus04 Hotch is my comfort character, maybe it’s because he takes care of others and I like that especially when I take care of people all the time, I’m like Cinderella in my house like no joke, if I don’t do it, nobody will ever do it. Anyway, I was wondering if you could do like an Aaron x Diabetic reader fic, as I have diabetes and it’s extremely difficult and exhausting and love to maybe see that with a comfort character of mine. Like Aaron does anything and everything he can to understand the reader and the illness, like when the reader sugar is high or maybe low, taking care of doctor’s appointments, medication drop off, just putting effort in I just want to read something that could comfort me in that way because it’s exhausting being a diabetic and having no one bother to care about it or put effort in, I’m alone essentially - I really hope you like this babe! I did my best!

Aaron Hotchner x Diabetic! Fem Reader

Angst/Fluff

Word count: 1709

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, some explicit language, reader has type 1 diabetes, mention of doctors and appointments, mention of medication/insulin management, no use of y/n, Fem reader, reader has no physical description – other than being a diabetic and having an insulin pump (worn tucked into their waistband or pocket) and an administration site located on their leg (there is mention of a site failure and relocation) as well as a sensor worn on the arm, reader is mentioned to work as well as being active in college courses (not full time), Hotch cares a lot, use of pet names, I think that’s everything – let me know if I missed any!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

You were the type of person who couldn’t bear the thought of burdening others. As exhausting as it was, constantly doing things on your own and taking care of others, you did so without complaint because things needed to get done. It would be much easier to just do them as opposed to putting it on someone else, or worse, adding weight to their shoulders.

This growing sense of solitude grew when you began dating Aaron. It wasn’t that he made you feel alone, actually it was quite the opposite! Aaron was always reassuring you that he was by your side through it all, especially as your relationship progressed. But as things intensified, you couldn’t help but notice the sag in his shoulders, bags under his eyes, and the air of weariness he exuded. Aaron had an extremely difficult job, one that had taken far too much from him, so who were you to make his life any more difficult than it already was.

You did everything in your power to hide things from Aaron – just to keep from filling his plate with anymore worry. You would suffer in silence through the highs and lows of your mental health, the business from working full time and taking classes at the local college…and even more so, your physical health.

You had kept the fact that you had type one diabetes a secret from Aaron…not because you were embarrassed or because you didn’t trust him, it was simply because you knew he’d make it his mission to ensure that you were taken care of, ahead of everything else.

But that was the problem with dating a profiler. Aaron could see through the façade that were your replies of “things are good!” “I’m great.” “Classes are going well.” “I feel fine, just a little tired.” Aaron knew that there was something deeper, looming under the surface, something you weren’t telling him. So, two months into dating you’d had to come clean.

“Sweetheart, I know something is wrong. I just wish you’d tell me so I can help you.” He’d beg.

“Aaron everything is fine I pro-”

“Please don’t say everything is fine…honey, you were basically lethargic the other day when we facetimed, and I was so worried about you.”

“I’m diabetic Aaron. That’s what was wrong. My sugar was low. But everything is fine.” You explained.

After that, Aaron made sure to keep a closer eye on you. Not so much that you’d feel suffocated or like he was babying you, but enough that he could tell if your sugar was too high or too low. Once Aaron found out you had type one diabetes, he dove into late night research sessions on what all your condition entails, how to best manage your insulin, what an appropriate level looks like, how to calculate your carb intake so the proper amount of insulin is being administered as well as how to change your site and how to use the pump.

The change in his behavior was subtle…but noticeable. Aaron started keeping small snacks or juice with him in the case of a sugar low, he also started checking in on you more frequently. When you moved in, the changes became far more obvious, Aaron was doing so much around the house – always doing the dishes, taking the trash out with him on his way to work, doing laundry on the weekends, setting up deliveries for your groceries. It was overwhelming to have someone this attentive.

“Aaron, I can do this!” You giggled as his arms snuck around you, pulling the vacuum from your grasp.

“I know you can sweetheart, but you don’t have to. I will.” He pressed a gentle kiss to your shoulder, encouraging you to go sit.

His overprotective nature didn’t surface until he witnessed a pretty intense low.

The morning had started off normal, you’d skipped out on breakfast, which wasn’t unusual. You’d completed an assignment for school and taken your dog on a walk when you started to feel off. It had been a little bit warm outside, but with the way you were sweating, you knew that wasn’t it.

You managed to get back home, but not without feeling lightheaded. You reached down to unclip the dog’s leash, and that’s when Aaron caught it, your hands were shaking, so much so that you were struggling to open the clasp.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?”

“I uh, I feel a little…” You pressed the back of your hand to your forehead and with the other, steadied yourself on the entry table. “Can you – would you grab me some…some juice?”

“Yeah, honey why don’t you sit down.” Aaron quickly went to the kitchen and poured a glass of juice.

Aaron watched you insistently as you sipped the juice. He reached over to check your phone, to see if your numbers were starting to regulate. Taking note of the number beginning to rise, he sat next to you and rubbed soothing circles on your spine.

“Honey, did you eat breakfast this morning?” Aaron inquired.

“No, but I never eat breakfast Aar. When I do, my numbers usually end up to high and then I feel sick all day.” You huffed.

“Okay, we will figure it out. Maybe we should schedule an appointment with your doctor.” He suggested.

“It’s always been like this, it’s okay really.”

“I’ll schedule an appointment for you sweetheart.” He pressed a kiss to your temple.

Aaron was far more attentive with your illness, going with you to your doctor’s appointments, asking them how to avoid highs and lows, figuring out the best way to manage your insulin. He also began to monitor your medication, making sure you never ran out and that the pharmacy was processing your refills, when they got low.

This day was not going the way you had hoped. Things had been super overwhelming, you had finals coming up for your classes and work had been particularly busy, truthfully you were exhausted. You’d been nauseas all day, your numbers elevated, despite your best efforts to lower them.

You had taken a break from studying to change the laundry when you heard Aaron get home.

“Hey baby!” Aaron pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“Hi hon.” You mumbled.

Aaron knew you had been stressed out about school and work, you had put your finals dates on your shared calendar, and he figured that was taking its toll on you.

“Why don’t I make us some dinner? I can grill up some chicken?” He posed.

“Yeah, that sounds good. I can steam some broccoli to go with it.” You suggested.

“Perfect!” Aaron left you with a peck.

You’d finished up with the laundry and went to the kitchen, pulling out a water bottle from the fridge while you got started prepping the veggies.

Aaron glanced at you through the sliding door, he had noticed there were quite a few water bottles and cups scattered around the apartment, more than usual. He couldn’t help the bit of concern that crept in – you’d previously mentioned sugar highs sometimes came with unbearable thirst.

“Sweetheart, have you checked your number recently?” He asked.

“Yes, it’s been a little elevated today.”

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, a little nauseous but I’m fine.”

The two of you sat and ate dinner while talking about your days. You told Aaron about a new project at work and how you were more than ready for your finals to be over. He shared that he had consulted on a few cases today with some law enforcement from other states – hopefully they wouldn’t get called away this weekend.

After dinner you’d excused yourself to the restroom and Aaron cleared up the table, placing the leftovers in the fridge. He made his way to your shared bedroom and softly knocked on the bathroom door.

“Baby, is everything okay?”

“Aar, I’m fine.” You sighed.

“Would you let me in? Maybe I can help.” He offered.

“I don’t need help – Shit!” You hissed.

With that Aaron let himself in the bathroom, worried that you were hurt.

“What’s wrong?”

“I think there’s something wrong with my site.” You were fiddling with the site attached to your leg.

“Honey, why don’t we change it out, I can help.” Aaron moved to grab everything you’d need for your new site. “Is your sensor good still?”

“I think so.”

“Okay, go lay on the bed.” He commanded gently.

You went to lay on the bed, sliding your sweats off, carefully moving your pump to lay beside you on the bed. Aaron made his way over to you with the new injection set. He assisted you in removing the old one and placing the new one, taking note of the needle being bent slightly.

“Sweetheart, I think this is why you’ve been high all day. Your insulin wasn’t injecting properly.”

“Ugh. Stupid thing! Let’s just put in the new one so I can get this all sorted out.” You stressed.

You had tears in your eyes. Not from the pain of the needle entering your skin, or the sick feeling you’ve endured all day…but from the fact that you don’t get to have a normal day that’s carefree. Aaron has taken so much off your plate by being especially helpful with day-to-day things, but this feels like too much and you feel so alone in your illness.

“Alright honey, you’re all set.” Aaron began cleaning up all the trash from the new injection set.

“Thank you.”

“Hey sweetheart…” Aaron began. “I know that I will never be able to fully understand, but I want you to know that I’m here for you. I want to help you in anyway I can, whether it’s changing your site for you, doing the dishes after a long day, or even just to give you a hug.”

Your tears were falling freely at his confession. You had never felt so seen, so weightless, so supported. You let your head fall back and your shoulders finally relaxed.

“I love you so much. You have no idea how much that means to me Aaron.” You wrapped your arms around his middle.

“I love you too sweet girl.” Aarons arms enveloped you as his lips connect with your forehead.

98 notes · View notes

burymagdalene · 1 day ago

Text

Rocket Fuel - S. Reid x Reader

After a week apart, Spencer and reader have a day tucked away from society together. Resulting in stolen coffee, Spencer tries to make it up to you with his own trial of coffee making. pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader genre: Good old fashioned fluff tags: established relationship, sharing (stealing) coffee, season 6 Spencer, lots of kisses– PURITAN REALLY wc: 2.3k a/n: Based on my little headcanon here, I expanded my idea a bit for you guys! Kisses, I hope you enjoy!

You hadn’t seen Spencer in a painfully long time. With a quick departure from work to Louisiana, it had been a week since you’d last seen him. Of course, you have gone longer, but something about this case dragged out how eternal it felt, each day becoming more drawn out like the beginning of the summer solstice. That being said, your copious hours apart have finally ended as Spencer calls you once you’re off work.

“Baby, I just landed. Are you busy? Can I see you?” He quickly rushes out, combining all the words into one jumbled, excited mess. You can hear the chatter in the background and the wind blowing as he’s stepping off the plane.

Resting your phone on your shoulder as you wiggle your key into your apartment, you smile at his voice. “Hi. Yeah, I’m just getting home from work. I can get pretty and we can go out?” You shut the door behind you.

“Hmm. Can I just come over and stay with you? After this week I kind of feel like seeing you and nobody else again.” Spencer’s voice tapers off to a whisper at the end, not wanting to risk the BAU hearing and getting offended. Which they heard anyway, earning him a soft slap upside the head.

“If you won’t feel stir crazy, yeah I’d love that. You can help me with a new braid I want to try, I’ve been practicing and it’s killing me…” Spencer is very much used to these calls of help. When you wanted to learn how to do a french braid, you made him watch a video and come over to do it himself since he retains what you’re supposed to do so easily.

“Perfect. Do you want me to pick you up? Coffee? Are you tired?” Not being able to hold it back, you chuckle a bit. Spencer’s frantically trying to supply you with anything he might’ve missed while he was gone. He’s always like this, desperate to bring you little treats after a case, like a crow leaving shiny gifts on the doorstep of those who feed them.

“I’d love a coffee Spence. I have this incurable sweet tooth I’ve adapted since you’ve been gone,” you tease while letting out a dramatic sigh “not enough sweetness in my life.” Spencer whines out a sorry on the other side of the line and asks what you want.

“Okay, a raspberry mocha with an extra shot for the beautiful girlfriend. Sounds… interesting.” Spencer replies and after quick goodbyes he slides into his car to drop off his luggage at his apartment, feed his fish (that you had won during a carnival date and gave to him) and is off walking to get you your artificially flavored coffee that will make your dentist cry.

Spencer loiters around the aggressively hipster coffee shop you frequent because of its good prices (uncommon in D.C.) waiting for your drink while smiling softly at himself at the idea of smelling you again, shoving his head in the nape of your neck while embracing you, touching your hair, being in your apartment surrounded by your things.

He’s at a point of hazy daydreaming where he doesn’t hear the “mocha for Spencer!” shouted by the barista until minutes later when they make eye contact and he sheepishly realizes he needs to get himself in gear.

Taking your drink he texts you letting you know he’s on the way and starts heading towards your apartment. The past week Spencer has been crammed inside offices, cars, the plane, so walking over and stretching his legs is making him bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Just bright eyed enough that the chocolate-y sweet aroma wafting from your coffee peaks his interest. Spencer brings it closer for a better sniff and makes a little “hm, not so bad” sound. Spencer and you share a similar taste in sweet coffee, though Spencer usually goes for a mountain of sugar added, not really any of the different kinds of flavoring you typically order. He takes a curious sip.

Before he knows it Spencer is on sip number two and is offhandedly thinking about the rise of modernist architecture as he walks past the corporate apartments downtown, devoid of individualism and expression. In fact, he thinks, 420,000 apartment buildings were built in America this year, a world record. With how quickly apartments are popping up, 200,000-300,000 are being destroyed because of the cheaper and less expensive materials that are being implemented currently-

The cup feels significantly lighter than it did when Spencer first bought it. He gives it a few swishes to gauge his damage and winces a bit. That’s okay! You’re the most understanding and sweet person he knows. He doubts you’ll bat an eye that he stole some sips. Sharing is caring after all.

The neighborhood finally starts to become more homely and familiar as he makes his way towards your complex. He’s already consumed his fair share of airplane and office coffee today, now with your sugary double shot, Spencer is bouncing with every step knowing he’s about to see you momentarily.

Spencer understands the energizer bunny to his full extent right now. Bounding up your front steps and knocking to the tune of “doot doola doot doo” and reflecting on a memory of an energizer bunny commercial he had seen as a kid. He was terrified of it.

And right before his eyes his angel finally appears.

You swing the door open and hug him tightly in the doorway, immediately shoving your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply. The laundry detergent on his clothes was not holding up while he was gone to how he actually smells in person.

“Hi, my baby,” Spencer mutters into the top of your head. He pulls you back gently by the back of your neck so he can get a good look at your face. “I missed this face so much.” He giggles, he can’t believe how badly he’s been longing for you this week. Pulling Spencer to your living room, you’re still embraced in a hug.

“You don’t even understand. I’m coming jammed in your suitcase next time you have to leave.” You smile back at him, softly running your thumb along his jaw. Spencer blushes sweetly and breaks eye contact.

“Anddd your rocket fuel.” In his bliss he’s forgotten all prior sips of your coffee and hands you the drink.

You take his offering, smile dropping when you’re holding it yourself. “What the hell?”

Spencer remembers immediately. “I was checking for poison.”

“What the hell?”

“You know, so that if there was poison I’d be the one-”

“This is almost gone?” You can’t help but laugh a little bit at the absurdity.

Spencer pulls his best guilty face. “I’m so sorry. It smelled so good so I had to try it, you know scent accounts for around 75 to 95 percent of the impact a flavor can have. So, I could’ve been doing an experiment to attest to how it tastes in regards to how it was smelling. But I wasn’t actually, I just got carried away. Did you know that if you tried plugging your nose while eating a potato and an onion that without smelling them, they would taste essentially the same? We have to try that some time.” He’s nervously rambling.

You laugh and hand him back the cup. “It’s all yours, Spence.” You turn and walk into your kitchen, knowing he’s going to be following at your tail.

“I am sorry. Are you sure?” Spencer scratches the back of his neck nervously. Though he stops feeling bad once you turn around and lean against your kitchen counter with a grin.

“Yes, I’m sure. However, you’re about to sift through my kitchen and whip me up the most delicious coffee that my cabinets have to offer. Okay?”

Spencer nods with a bashful smile, sipping the coffee again. “Okay. Truce?”

“Hmm. Not so fast, it’ll be a truce if and when the coffee you make knocks my socks off.” You tease.

Spencer kisses your shoulder and gives another kiss under your ear like this second chance has a life changing outcome. A queen giving her jester another chance at entertainment before his beheading.

Conversation flows sweetly as you stand together in your kitchen. You have new flowers on a small table that he comments the origins on. “Why am I jealous that you got yourself flowers and I didn’t?” Spencer half jokes as he rummages through your options of crappy instant coffee.

“Hmm. But you did go out of your way to buy me that coffee I wanted… oh wait.” You poke back at him lightly. Spencer sighs good naturedly and asks you to turn around.

“I want the drink to be a surprise, don’t look at what I’m pulling out.”

Turning around, you roll your eyes. “Yes, chef.”

Spencer starts concocting his masterpiece and puts away the ingredients after they’re combined. He turns around, moving your hair to the side, away from your neck and places a kiss on the back of your neck. He hums against your skin and places another kiss. “Okay, you can look again.”

You spin on your heels and wrap your arms around his waist, against his back, chin resting on one of his shoulders as you watch him stir together a warm and milky mix of God knows what. You’re a little bit scared.

Pouring the mixture into the mug he gave you on your last birthday with your first name initial across the front, Spencer hands it to you with a ginormous, proud smile.

Pulling it up to your nose you give it a sniff to see what you’re about to get yourself into, though you guess this could be an onion and potato scenario, or whatever Spencer was saying to save his ass. You take a sip.

It’s not very good. You can taste each ingredient separately and together simultaneously. Way too milky that it drowns out the already weak coffee grounds you have. Spencer definitely makes coffee in a unique way, you’ve tried it once or twice.

“Mmm, this is so good, baby. Perfect.” You smile against the rim of the cup anyway.

“Really?” Spencer grins, taking a sip of your coffee again, one that you’re mourning more than ever now.

“Yeah! Thank you!” You lean over and kiss the side of his mouth. Spencer shifts to the side to catch you in a proper kiss. He overzealously pulls you in closer, hands cupping your cheeks, the coffee he made you spills a bit with his movement.

“Mm- babe,” you pull away to wipe the rim of your cup with a napkin. Spencer just hums in response, that he is not sorry for.

“Let me try?” Spencer asks sweetly after watching you take another sip, curious to know what he did to make it taste so good.

“Uhh, yeah. Sure.” You give a tight-lipped smile, your facade slowly breaking.

Taking the cup from you, Spencer takes another one of his greedy sips. He gulps it quickly, offendedly, and looks at you with a crazed expression. You burst out laughing.

“What?” You choke out through giggles.

“This is awful.” Spencer deadpans.

“Nooo, it's good!” You remedy. You don’t really care how it tastes, it’s just nice to be drinking something he’s made you after all this time. You don’t even care anymore he has your sweet drink either, he deserves it. Sweet thing.

Spencer starts laughing along with you, pulling you in by your wrist and peppering your face with kisses as you try to boost his confidence. “Seriously. I couldn’t have made it better myself.”

“You couldn’t possibly have made this yourself. That’s just awful. I was confident too.” He shakes his head with a smile. Spencer pours out half of what he made you and lifts the top of the remainder of what you actually wanted, and pours it in. He mixes it with his finger, pops it in his mouth to taste. No poison. And hands it to you.

The mixture was pleasant actually, a lot of the flavoring from the coffee shop fell to the bottom, so it made his milky coffee flavorful. You hum in genuine pleasure this time.

“I can’t believe you tried to lie to me about that coffee. You never have to grin and bear anything for my sake.” Spencer responds seriously as he watches you drink his combination.

You can’t help but feel like when a parent turns a funny story into a life lesson, but you suppose he’s right.

“You looked so proud! I didn’t want you to feel disappointed. I don’t really care about you drinking my coffee. I just care that you’re here.”

Spencer laughs and rolls up his sleeves as he talks, “I swear tomorrow your socks will officially be knocked off with the delectable coffee you’re about to receive.” He picks back up a joking tone.

“Oh I bet.” You kiss his cheek.

The rest of your evening together was full of caffeinated updates either of you may have missed in the past week, Spencer filling you in on a prank he was particularly proud of devising against Derek.

Spencer held up his end of the bargain as well. You woke up from the first good rest you’ve had all week since Spencer left to a raspberry mocha by your bedside table. You hadn’t even heard him leave.

You skip into your living room to find an empty cup of the same coffee Spencer picked up for himself this time to find him hunched over your coffee table fixing a bouquet of flowers into a vase.

He looks up at you and walks over, giving you a warm hug, slipping an arm up the back of your hoodie and traces your skin. “I was supposed to wake you up, angel.” He mumbles into your shoulder.

Pulling away, you walk over to inspect the new vase of flowers he got you. You put your hands on your hips and smile over at where he’s standing.

“Yeah,” you nod. “Truce.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer x reader

111 notes · View notes

creamecafe · 7 hours ago

Text

Love you the same and to the moon and back | Hyun Ju

Summary: After Hyun Ju came out as woman, it seemed like hope was lost as she lost everything. The military, her family and her friends. When dating you, she’s afraid she’ll lose you too. Or will she?

Pairing: Hyun Ju x GF!Reader

Warnings: angst, fear of coming out, fluff

Word Count:

Author's Note: This was requested by countrybarbiegalss from my book titled “Squid Game Imagines” on Wattpad. If you’d like, please check it out I’d really appreciate it. Don’t forget to vote, comment on what you think and share!

Feedback is always appreciated!

Want a request for a Squid Game character like this one? Check out my latest post, read my request guidelines and send a request!

Read on Wattpad & AO3 here

Hyun Ju could have not expected her life to take a turn like this. Discovering she’s transgender was a question she was able to solve. But the problem was what it came with after.

Shortly not long after she came out, she was kicked out of the military, struggled to find a job for at least almost two months. A lot of her family members cut her off and she lost friends she knew for years.

It seemed like everything was lost, until she met you. You were in the light in her eyes she needed. She met you while she was running late for work and you were jogging and accidentally bumped into her.

She remembers it all well the moment she met you, what she and you were wearing. You were so beautiful and hope was found again.

Hyun Ju hoped to see you again when she came to work and she did. Days turned into weeks and eventually a month. She really wanted to ask you out but was terrified of the relationship not lasting long as she was hiding herself, her true identity.

But something told her to ask you out. So the morning that she got ready for work, she told herself, she’s going to ask you out when yiu see her. As usual, she saw yiu again. She put a hand up as if she was going to raise a hand but it was to capture your attention.

You stopped running, took out your phone to pause your music and took out a earbud from one of your ears.

“Hey, how are you?” Hyun Ju asked

“Good and you?” You replied breathing heavily from the running.

“I just wanted to ask you something.”

“Yes, what it is”

Hyun Ju took a pause and took a deep breath

“We’re always seeing each other when I’m going to work and you’re running. I just think you’re really pretty and I wanted to know if you would like to maybe get a coffee together or go out sometime?”

After what Hyun Ju said to you, you had to think of what she was saying to you. You also found him (because at the time you didn’t know that she identified as a she even in that moment)

Hyun Ju took your silence as a possible rejection. It wasn’t until you replied

“Sure, I would love to” You nodded

“Really?” Making sure of what Hyun Ju was hearing right now.

“Yeah why not?”

Hyun Ju couldn’t believe it. Was her life finally turning around for the better? Was this a sign?

“What time and day works for you?” You asked

“I get out at work around 6:30. 6, if my boss is merciful.”

“Alright then, I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Sounds great”

Hyun Ju nodded and smiled to herself. This was really happening. She asked out a girl.

“See you around then” You said about to go back to your daily running

“See you” Hyun Ju exclaimed as she was going to head to her work. She realized one thing. She didn’t know your name and you didn’t know hers

“Wait!” She turned around to face you hoping you didn’t run off already. Luckily, you just about to put your second earbud in when she called out. You turned around.

“I didn’t get your name.”

“It’s Y/N.” You smiled and Hyun Ju didn’t forget that

“Hyun Ju” She said

“That’s a pretty name. I hope you don’t leave me hanging tomorrow Hyun Ju.”

“I won’t.” She shook her head and laughed.

You chuckled too as you ran off, looked back and waved to him her. She waved back to you as she looked at the time and realized she’s running late. “Crap!” She ran off to her work.

A few hours passed and she was done with her job. She took the subway home and was tired. Your smile wouldn’t leave her mind. When she got back to her apartment, she prepared something to eat, watched TV and went to sleep. A few more hours and she’ll be going out with you, she thought to herself.

The next morning and she was more than ready to get out of bed to see your face again. Everything she was doing in her daily routine was fast paced as she was so excited. She always double checking herself, to see if her hair was fine in every reflection she could see. While she was fixing her hair while walking looking in a shop glass, she bumped into someone. She looked at who she bumped into, it was you again. Time felt like it stopped. She was going to apologize but you did first.

“We, well I gotta stop bumping into you. I gotta be more careful when running.” Yiu chuckled putting a hand to your mouth

“It’s alright,” Hyun Ju nodded smiling.

“Tonight’s still on?” You asked playfully

“What? Oh yes, it is.”

“Great!”

“Here,” Hyun Ju took a notebook and pen out of her bag and wrote down her number to give to you. “You can text or call me if anything comes up”

You took the paper and looked at what she wrote.

"Ok will do. I'll let you get back to you going to work."

"And I'll let you get back to running."

Both of you nodded and parted ways. A few hours have passed and Hyun Ju finished her shift. She rushed home to get ready for her first date with you.

It was going to be at a small restaurant, nothing fancy. When she saw you at and what you wore, it felt like her heart was going to fall out her chest.

The date has gone well and you started seeing each other after work more often. Both of you not long after started dating each other.

This was the happiest Hyun Ju been in a long time. Being with someone, finding peace and security. But while dating you, still being happy, there was something eating at her.

Her wanting to come out to you, telling you she's transgender. Over the course, you have been dating her, you notice his her hair would get longer and would paint her nails.

You seen other guys done the same as it was a trend mostly among Gen Z, so you thought nothing of it.

Every opportunity Hyun Ju had to tell you, she would shut it down quickly as she was afraid of losing you. She hated lying to you. It wasn't right, but she was afraid of your reaction of her telling you.

She believed that you would cry and yell at her, never wanting to see her face again. Tonight after work was the night she was going to tell you.

When she came home to your shared apartment, you came running to you excited to see you, her boyfriend girlfriend again.

"Hey babe, how are you doing? How was work" You said smiling

"Good thank you. Work was good. How are you?"

"I'm good thanks, just reading a book. I made dinner for both of us. I waited for you to eat togther."

Your kindness. That was the thing Hyun Ju was going to miss when she tells you the truth tonight.

"I need to tell you something, Y/N."

"Yes, what is it?" You asked without looking up from your book.

"I don't know how to say this. And when I do, you might not wanna be with me anymore."

You put your book down at what she meant by this.

"What do you mean?

"I have discovered something about myself. And I'm trans. Transgender."

"Are you being serious right now?"

"Yes I am. I won't be known as your boyfriend anymore. I probably won't even be yours anymore after I have said this."

Putting your book down, you got up and went up to him her.

"Hyun Ju-"

"Listen," Hyun Ju's voice starts breaking up as she looks down. "If you want to break up with me, that's fine. But this is who I am."

"I loved you as the man you weren't meant to be. And who doesn't say I won't love you as the woman you're going to be?"

"You're still going to be with me? People will look at us and I don't wanna damage your reputation."

"So what? Screw those who are going to judge, that's not make me change my mind or make me love you any less."

Hyun Ju tried to hold it in but she was crying. You held her close and sat down on the couch. Her sobs broke your heart. You probably didn't realize how hard this must have been on her, keeping this a secret from you.

"Do you want to go to the bed and just lay down?" You asked softly

"Yes, yes" She took her hands from her face and nodded.

You helped Hyun Ju up and went to your shared room. The room was dark as you turned on a lightly dimmed lamp.

You sat down on the bed first and waited for Hyun Ju to come. She hesitated a bit, but eventually sat down next to you. She wrapped her arms around you. Both of you went further into the bed as you both laid down.

Her broad arms were firm but soft on you as she laid her head on your chest. Trying to match her breathing to your heartbeat. You still felt her tears fall on your tank top and some on your arm.

"It's ok, it's ok. I got you" You whispered kissing her forehead.

Hyun Ju was shaking under you. This wasn't the reaction she wasn't expecting. She was sure you were going to break up with her. This all had to be a dream, like too good to be true.

But she felt safe here. Like her past and everything else didn't exist. It didn't matter.

"I don't deserve you" Hyun Ju said so faintly as shell break.

"Don't say that. Whoever made you feel like you weren't deserving of love just because of the way you identify, don't deserve you. Not the other way around."

After what you said, Hyun Ju just wanted to continue laying and not say another word. You kept kissing. Her forehead, her neck, slow and soft with your lips.

"I love you Hyun Ju. I'll always love you the same and to the moon and back."

Hyun Ju now knows it was indeed a sign you were the one for her. She gets up a bit to face and kiss you on the lips sweetly and gently.

A tear dropped down and you tasted her salty drops. You pulled back and just smiled.

"I love you too Y/N."

"We can take a nap and eat dinner later. Or we don't have to, tomorrow's the weekend. We can stay in, lay like this all you want."

Throughout the night, you guys talked nonsense until you both fell asleep holding each other. This was all Hyun Ju wanted and needed.

Safe and sound in your arms. She was ready to become a new person. But in your eyes, she was the still same.

She was still yours, and you were hers.

Taglist:

@itsnznn, @soultyun, @hobinistaworld, @happyfrog7681, @Tiuhiatus, @star2008, @magicalconnoisseurcoffee, @fyraevya, @ninahorikoshifr, @ouwioworuuu, @cloudysxkura, @iidontwannadiealone, @idontreallyexistyet, @gigglingkickingmyfeet, @hollxe1, @uuhhtt, @bludzk1llzyuzu, @maymustdie, @bahoglobot, @bread-crum206, @lovesickxmina, @galactict3a, @livelaughlovekuni, @petrrraaa, @sackgirl666, @grimminiecricket

#creamecafe #squid game x reader #squid game season 2 #squid game 2 #squid game #hyun ju #cho hyunju #transgender #transfem #trans #wlw post #wlw #x fem!reader #x f!reader

69 notes · View notes

kiame-sama · 1 day ago

Note

Oi! Can you stop posting things that get stuck in my brain so often? Joking, but I mean a lot of things you bring up a lot of fun ideas in your AU that just stick in my brain. Hope I’m not bugging you too much with messages. However, you have introduced my lil emo catholic boy Rollo so I must ask: how would Rollo and Malleus (and anyone else tied to fire) deal with a fire bug?

Like not necessarily someone who starts fires, but someone who LOVES fire. Like I could stare at fires for hours. They are just so pretty and the flickering and swaying look just look amazing. Imagine all the different colors of fires! Especially when I poke it or have something like a match.

Ima go before I start ranting about fire again. Hope you’re keeping warm and have a great day! Can’t wait to see that fish prince get hit shins kicked!

Warnings: Grim and Ortho are platonic only, yanderes, yandere behavior, yandere temper, different levels of yandere, use of magic to amuse the Human, Rollo wrestling with self-loathing, Malleus is malleus,

- Grim is thrilled his Hooman loves his little ear flames and will intentionally make them flare brighter when he wants more attention. Mostly he just uses his ear flames to make them smile.

- Ortho will laugh and be excited to tell the Human about the hair flame many Shinigami have, giving details while he consciously makes his hair slowly change color flame. It takes some effort, but he cycles through the visible light spectrum before he needs to take a break, his hair snap returning to the usual blue. He's happy to tell them all about it, so long as the Human will listen.

- Idia is going magenta and doesn't even know it, warm hearts forming in his long flame hair as he internally fanboys over the Human looking at him with such an interested gaze. The way they stare at the flickering light and flames as he just burns brighter. He loves it and will burn that sight into his memory.

- Papa Hades quickly picks up on the Human's interest in fire and flames, happily using his magic to create flames for them. Different shapes, colors, creatures, he is making a show of fire to marvel at and enjoy. It has been too long since he has last had an audience so enraptured and it soothes his heart.

- Rollo is struggling with himself over this. He dislikes his flame and the fire that fules his very core. Get a bit too out of hand and *poof* gone. That's how he sees it, at least. It is tragically sweet to him for the Human to adore the things he hates most about himself. Leave it to a divine Human to see the good in the wretched and sinful. He will slowly begin allowing his fire to flourish, if only for the Human's sake. He does adore them quite a bit and will willingly do what the Human wishes of him.

- Malleus loves that the Human enjoys his flames. He will show off his mastery over summoned flames and explain how they differ from Dragon-fire which he can only ever create when angry. Any time the Human wants to see his magic displayed, he will create a bright green flame for them. Eventually he will gift them a crystal containing one of his green flames, around it will spin a group of green fireflies. So they can take his flame anywhere they go and always marvel at his fire.

#kiame-sama #yandere #x reader #yandere x reader #reader insert #tw yandere #humans are extinct twst au #platonic x reader #hae grim #hae papa hades #hae ortho #hae idia #hae rollo #hae malleus

102 notes · View notes

read-write-thrive · 1 day ago

Text

Charles Rowland Week Day One — Cricket Bat/The Brawn

There were a lot of unexpected downsides to being a ghost. Sure, he got a best mate and a “life” he loved out of dying, but it wasn’t all sunshine rainbows and ice cream. And not just the major things like being chased or attacked on cases, neither! Small things were just as bad, especially when they snuck up on you

Take the mirror thing, for example. It’s really not an issue, right? Charles wasn’t vain or anything, he didn’t need to see himself in the mirror constantly. But you don’t realise how much you look in the mirror until it’s gone, really. All of a sudden your only perceptions of yourself is what you can see looking down and what you can remember. Charles had done his best to not think about it at all, but was rather suddenly confronted with his image issues about a year into being dead.

Well, “suddenly” isn’t quite right. Truth is, they’d just found a place to call theirs and were set on fixing it up. They hadn’t settled on a name for their detective agency yet, but they were getting there. At the moment all they were doing was cleaning the space as best they could to try and make it feel more homey.

You see, the place was, looking back, their reward for their first case. They’d taken to wandering London, just seeing the sights really, when recently they noticed the building. In slight disrepair, sure, but the weirder part was the poltergeist wreaking havoc on anyone who came near it. The living (un?)consciously avoided the place, but the boys hadn’t heard the gossip and were the next victims to its destruction. They couldn’t be killed, of course, but they could still be thrown about (and injured, apparently! Blasted iron—).

Edwin had already picked up a magical tome on their travels (which he’d then casually carried in his overcoat—Charles, who was still struggling to reimagine his clothing, was only a little jealous, he swore) and was thankfully able to use it to banish the poltergeist. They both took a hit or two, but Charles had realised early on that he needed to take the attention off Edwin in order for him to actually use magic. Charles had quickly rallied against the poltergeist, distracting it and taking the rest of the blows that came with that. Well, he’d tried to tackle the poltergeist first, get on the offense and all that, but that hadn’t gone well. So then he just took the hits until Edwin did his job.

Edwin, for whatever reason, had been right pissed about it in the days since. He kept his sentences short, kept his nose in that bloody book, and was overall being a cranky bastard. Charles was still sore from the fight (how ridiculous that ghosts could even be sore) and was frankly fed up with it. Time to tackle it head-on.

Though he could’ve taken the empty chair on the other side of the desk, Charles decided that being up close and personal was better for this talk. He marched up to the desk and sat on the ledge of it, arms crossed and looking down at Edwin, feet nudging the base of his chair.

Edwin didn’t even look up from the book, “Yes, Charles?”

Charles carefully took the book (bookmarked it, naturally, he wasn’t a monster) and set it aside as he spoke, “We need to have a chat, mate. Now, if you’ve got the time.”

Edwin let the book be taken, though his (stupidly broad, how does a sixteen year old even get built like that?? too fit for his own good and he doesn’t even know it, the wanker) shoulders remained tense. He quirked an eyebrow as he looked up at Charles, “Since you’ve taken my reading, I suddenly have the time. What is it you wish to speak about?”

Charles used his hand to motion at Edwin’s face, “All this. I get that you’re angry with me, though I have no clue why, but I need you to come out and say it, yeah? I’m not a mind reader.”

Sighing, Edwin properly faced Charles, “Fine. If that would please you. I am unhappy with how you handled our encounter with the poltergeist, and I was hoping you would apologise for it. I see that will not be happening.”

“Apologise?” Charles questioned, bewildered, “What the bloody hell did I do? I distracted the thing while you used your fancy magic to get rid of it!”

Edwin remained unimpressed, “I can handle myself, Charles. Your display of… masochism, shall we say— was unwarranted and reckless. We had no way of knowing what the poltergeist could do.”

“And? What, I was just supposed to let the thing do equal damage to both of us? Or let you take all the hits? You’re the one with the bloody book, mate, least I could do was give you time to read it.” Charles huffed.

“And yet your soul is less tempered than mine, so it is extremely likely that you will succumb to injuries at a faster rate.” Edwin snapped back, hands steepled in front of him as if this were all just obvious facts.

Bewildered, Charles tried to clarify, “What are you saying? I can’t take the same damage as you? Seriously?”

Edwin’s eyes, usually steadfast in maintaining eye contact, flickered down Charles’s form, then back up to his face.

Charles knew what that meant. It wasn’t the first time he’d gotten looks like that, in conversations like these. Every time he tried out for a sport, every time he tried to stand up to his dad, every time he tried to keep up with his mates. Charles knew he was twiggy, alright? He didn’t put on muscle like the other lads did even doing the same sports and eating the same school-provided meals. Hell, even when he tried going above and beyond in eating meat and lifting weights all he did was get lean, not properly muscley. A fact which everybody noticed.

As a result, he’d get these looks. Right rude looks. As if it was funny to think of him being strong or holding his own in scraps. There were a few times his mates would egg him on to fight some other bloke twice his size to try and embarrass him. Maybe it wasn’t so harmless, looking back, but Charles usually scraped by by changing it into a race or just talking his way out of it. He knew they wanted to see him take a beating, even if they framed it as him “proving” that he was stronger than he looked. They’d give him that same look every single bloody time, as if he had to be bluffing and they were thrilled to call him out on it.

This was made all the worse by his dad of course—his dad who outright laughed in his face any time he tried to stand up or fight back. His dad who left just enough visible bruises and scars to make it seem like Charles was out fighting every break and losing every single one of ‘em. The teachers took it as another sign of Charles being no-good and brushed off any time he wanted to get treatment or lenience for the injuries. The other boys would laugh at the bruises and such, asking what Charles did to piss off his foe. Asking why he kept fighting if he was so obviously always going to lose. Just look at him—how would a scraggy thing like him ever win a fight?

So yeah, maybe Charles was a bit defensive about how he looked and how strong he was. It was all the worse by the mirror thing—was he skinnier dead? How would he ever know for sure? To top it all off, he’s dead. Not exactly like there’s a gym for ghosts, is there? Well, not that they knew of yet at least. And with his luck, a ghost gym wouldn’t do anything either.

Point is, Charles was practically stuck in this stupid thin appearance for the rest of his ghostly days. And he hated it. He hated it every time he went to check a mirror and saw nothing, forcing himself to rely on his memory. He hated it every time he struggled to manifest better clothes—Edwin kept telling him to just visualise, right, but how was he supposed to do that when he’d avoided visualising himself at all for years? What if he made it worse by visualising? Maybe he was a bit bigger since dying! Some unconscious thing helping him out or some shite. He didn’t want to risk making himself any skinnier!

It was ridiculous, all of it. But Charles was not about to take that same bullshit from someone he thought was better than all that.

“What, I’m too skin and bones for ya? Too weak? C’mon, tell me. I can take it.” He really couldn’t, truth be told, but he was ready to bluff his way through the hurt like always.

Edwin’s face scrunched up, “What the devils are you talking about? We’re ghosts, Charles, our appearances are entirely subjective. Not to mention they have little very bearing on this situation.”

Now it was again Charles’s turn to be confused, though he was still hunched up on the defensive, “Then what? What is it?”

“I do not want to see you hurt, alright?” Edwin snapped, “We do not know how to fix any injuries you might have sustained and you were completely defenceless! I was trying to focus on locating and performing the proper spell and there you were, ready to be obliterated in front of my very eyes!”

Charles gave a slightly relieved sigh. Edwin looked displeased at this, but Charles started speaking before Edwin had a chance to continue, “You’re mad at me because I scared you, is that it? Mate, I’m perfectly fine! We got that fucker out of here and I’m perfectly a-ok! Here I was thinking I’d properly mucked something up—“

“I am serious, Charles—“

“So am I!” Charles planted his hands on Edwin’s shoulders, forcing complete eye contact, “Look, as soon as we can, we’ll get our hands on some weapons for me to use alongside your fancy magic books. Hell, maybe you can make me one for all we know on magic!”

Edwin again went to reply, but Charles wasn’t finished.

“I’m flattered you care, and thank you for looking out for me, but I promise I’m stronger than I look. Get me a bat or something and, with you and your magic, I’m happy to take on any future baddies we come across, yeah?”

Edwin sighed again, but it was clear his icy demeanour was melting, “I suppose we can have that be our next move, now that we have a headquarters for ourselves.”

Charles all but cheered, ecstatic to have actually resolved their little spat, “That’s the spirit! I’ll be the brawns, you be the brains, and our Ghostbusters agency will be brills!”

“For the hundredth time, Charles, we are not naming our detective agency after some film!…”

—

Day one of @charles-rowland-week in the books! I make no promises to have something for every day/prompt bc my life is a mess (as per usual) but I wanted to at least do one :) hope y’all enjoyed it !!

#tw body image #tw body dysmorphia #tw mentions of abuse #tw charles’s dad tbh #charles rowland week #charles rowland #edwin payne #dead boy detectives #dbda #dead boy detective agency #save dead boy detectives #pre-canon dbda #save dbda #dbda fanfic #dbda fic #renew dead boy detectives #payneland #platonic payneland #(at this point hehe)

54 notes · View notes

motorsportbarbie13 · 1 day ago

Text

Track Limits - Part One

(author's note: this is a fully original series that I wrote this summer, with fully original characters. I will be posting every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I won't be using my tag list for my F1 Fanfics, so if you want to be added to this one, please leave a comment! As always, my inbox is always open for suggestions, comments, questions, etc. I love love love hearing from you guys!!)

Warnings: brief talk about cheating boyfriend and panic attacks, but nothing serious on page Word Count: 3.1k

Intro Post Series Main Navigation Page Master List

Celine

CelineStG posted

CelineStG Siri, play 'Home' by Good Neighbors RealMollyGrace bitch, what? >>>CelineStG oops? AlexStGerard I’m sorry, since when are you home? >>>CelineStG Hi big brother, consider this my official notification that a sister visit in imminent. Hope you’re prepared! >>>AlexStGerard When am I ever prepared for a sister visit? >>>CelineStG Never. >>>AlexStGerard Exactly SebSimonet STG C if I don’t see you before quali I’m running you over with my car >>>CelineStG What an awful thing to say to your bestie. User123 Are you in town for the race? User34 Of course she is, her family literally owns a team. Idiot.

“Ms. Saint Gerard, what a pleasant surprise to see you today! Your father didn’t say anything about you visiting this week. Would you like me to take you to the estate then?” George Fishburn asks as he holds the car door open for me.

“No, no.” Waving him off, I slide into the back seat of the SUV. “I’m staying at the Hermitage this week.” I ignore the man’s raised eyebrows, choosing to pretend like he isn't giving me the opportunity to give him a little bit of gossip like I always tend to do. I’m certain he’s dying to ask why I won’t be staying with my father and on a normal day, I would have been happy to answer his questions. George has been my father’s driver and all around errand man for as long as I can remember and normally I would have gladly chatted with him about why I was suddenly home.

Today though? Today I was glad he was giving me the quiet distance that my melancholy mood craved.

“Could you take me to Alex’s condo and then drop my bags off at the hotel though? If it’s not too much trouble.” I ask once George has loaded my bags in the trunk and settled himself in the drivers seat.

He chuckles and rolled his eyes, “Of course it’s not too much trouble, you know that. I’ll leave you with your brother and take them up to your room myself.”

“Thank you.” I sigh as he starts the engine, sinking into the supple leather seats that are a sharp contrast to the turmoil rolling through me.

Moments later, he’s smoothly navigating the car out of the parking lot and is making his way towards the highway that leads from Nice to Monaco. My clenched jaw softens as I watch the French country side slip by, a wash of relief unknotting the constant stomachache I’ve been living with for weeks. Kilometer by kilometer, the tension that I’ve become quite acquainted with seems to melt away. I had woken up that morning in my townhome in London but this afternoon, I found myself home again.

Technically, Monaco isn’t really home, in the strictest sense of the word. I had lived in New York City until I was 14 but the tiny principality had always felt more like home than any apartment in the city or home in the country I had ever shared with my mother. My father had always brought my brother, Alex and I here during our summer visits after my parents had divorced when I was three. Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of a London rainstorm swearing I can smell the salty air of the Mediterranean and perfume of the wealthy residents.

So it really wasn’t quite a surprise that the only place I thought might be able to fix me after what I’d been through in the last six months was Monaco.

Slipping my phone out of the pocked of my bag, I check the notifications on my Instagram post earlier. It had been such a last minute trip to come home this week that I hadn’t even told my best friend, which she was apparently not very pleased about.

Moments after the I send the last text, my phone vibrates, interrupting the quiet tranquility that I had been soaking in.

“Are you okay?” Guilt sits at the edges of Molly’s tone when the call connects.

Glancing out the window, I tip my head back against the soft leather head rest as I ruminate over my answer.

“I’m...alive?” A dark chuckle escapes before I can stop it while I stare out the window as we begin to pass through the outskirts of Monte Carlo. I briefly catch a glimpse of the glittering sea that sits at the edge of the city. Even just the briefest of looks at the water chases a bit more of the anxiety that sits heavy in my chest away.

On the other end of the phone, I hear Molly shuffling about and the muffled voice of someone that sounded a lot like Bev, Molly’s PR manager. Checking my watch I suck in a breath, “Molly! You have a show in like 45 minutes, shouldn’t you be warming up?”

While Molly might be my best friend, she is also multi-Grammy award winning singer Molly Sharpe. We met five years ago when she had nearly thrown a punch at a drunk guy that was getting a bit too handsy with me at a party during the Cannes Film Festival. We had never said a single word to each other before she came to my rescue, somehow picking up on my panic from just a glance, and we’ve been inseparable ever since. Even when we were on opposite sides of the globe, which happened more often than not now that she was on tour, we try to FaceTime at least once a day.

“Nah, this is more important. I’m already warmed up anyway, so stop trying to deflect. What happened that made you literally flee the country?”

I barely fight the urge to groan. “I ran into William at a coffee shop thi-.” I stop mid-thought to correct myself. “No, no! I saw my cheating ex-boyfriend at MY coffee shop this morning, Molly! In MY neighborhood. On MY side of London!” I cry, my molars grinding together. “With whatever the fuck her names is, that stupid red head that he cheated on me with.”

Heat rises in my cheeks as I remember the scene from this morning. I had just left my pilates class and had been planning on making a quick run to the barn to exercise my horses even though that was the last place I wanted to be. But all of my plans came to a screeching halt when I saw William arm in arm with the girl he had cheated on me with walk straight into my favorite coffee shop.

“Coming from anyone else, I’d say you claiming it was ‘your’ side of London was simple hyperbole but I genuinely don’t doubt you and your family actually own a significant portion of the city.” Molly teases.

A smile tugs reluctantly at my lips, “Shut up.” I scoff. She was right, of course. My family had been the founding investor into the Formula One team that all these years later, still bares our last name. We had a luxury road car division that was the first bit of our business, the racing coming second after my great-grandfather fell in love with the sport. Simply put, St. Gerard was as synonymous with luxury car production as Chanel was with haute couture.

“So anyway, I saw him with her and I couldn’t breathe. I completely panicked. Between that and,” I pause, my breath catching in my lungs. “What happened last month, I just lost it. So, I did the most mature thing I could think of at the time.”

“And what was that?” Her tone held an edge of a laugh, like she knew this was going to be ridiculous.

“I called an Uber right there on the street corner, packed a bag, and chartered a flight home.”

“Céline Cristelle St. Gérard! That is the most out of touch way to deal with your problems.”

I let out a chuckle. “Thats rich coming from a girl who quite literally chartered a jet to fly her favorite chef from New Orleans to Portugal just to make her chicken noodle soup when she was sick last year.”

“That was a medical emergency.” She pouts.

“So you’re telling me that you wouldn’t have done the exact same thing?”

Molly cackles and I could just imagine her throwing her head back laughing in the green room at whatever stadium she was performing in tonight, “Oh no, I would. We’re both equally insane and privileged. It’s a dangerous combination. Go on.”

“That’s it. I flew home. I don’t even have any luggage packed. We were 20 minutes off the ground when I remembered that the race was in Monaco this weekend and panicked that I wasn’t going to be able to find a place to stay but I somehow managed to find a room at the Hermitage.”

“You’re not staying with your father?”

“Ha! Absolutely not. He’ll be furious with me when he hears about what I did yesterday.”

In addition to a cheating ex-boyfriend that had just broken my heart recently, I'd also decided a few days ago that I was done with show jumping for the season. There had only been a few competitions but after what had happened six weeks ago to my heart horse, I just didn't have the competitive drive in me anymore. For as long as I could remember, show jumping had been my 'thing'. Alex had racing and the team but I had always had my horses.

Until I didn't.

On the other end of the phone, my best friend gasps. “You haven’t told him yet?” She shrieks.

“I was kind of hoping the press would do it for me, to be honest.” I wince, nibbling at a cuticle my manicurist missed at my nail appointment yesterday.

“Céline!” Molly hisses.

Rubbing my free hand over my face, I groan into the phone. “I know! I know! I’m a coward. I’m actually on my way to see Alex to try to figure out how the hell to break it to the old man. He’s going to be so mad.”

Molly’s tone softens at the guilt that I know fills my voice. “He won’t be if you’re honest with him.”

I stay silent for a moment, considering Molly’s words. I know my father is going to lose his mind when he finds out that I had made this huge, life altering decision without even so much as consulting him. Not because he’d tell me that I wasn’t allowed to but because show jumping is such a big part of my life and making such a big decision like pulling out of competition for the year without even so much as consulting him was going to set him off. My father was solidly of the 'the St. Gerard family is not a family of quitters' belief and this was going to break his heart.

“Listen. We just pulled up to Alex’s place so I’m going to let you go. Say a little prayer that I survive the first firing squad?”

“Alex will be on your side, he always is. Text me later and I’ll call you after the show if it’s not too late.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too Cece.”

Theo

TheoJHighgate Posted

TheoJHighgate Rolling into Monaco race week like... user918 the curls are curling evansracing so excited!! user0199 does this man know what he does to us??? >>>user029 oh 100%

The Evans Racing garage thrums with the kind of energy that only happens during race week. Mechanics scurry around my car making any last minute adjustments before the first of three rounds of practice tomorrow, the sounds their tools make a familiar grind in my ear. I lean against one of the many sleek orange and black toolboxes that line one side of the garage, taking it all in.

Monaco is my favorite track on the entire circuit. I have so many good memories here that every time this weekend rolls around, I try to soak in as much of the energy I can. The team has been really consistent so far this season but we’re still winless and this weekend feels like the perfect time to remedy that situation.

“Theo.” A sharp voice yanks me out of my podium day dreams. “My office. Now.” Scott Hayes, Evans Racing’s team principal stands just outside his office door, his expression all storm clouds threatening a downpour. Fuck, he does not look happy.

I straighten, ignoring the stares from the mechanics who are trying to look busy while hoping to overhear the verbal undressing I feel like I’m about to get. I shuffle through my memory quickly as I push off the tool box. While I have somewhat (read: huge) of a reputation in the paddock of being the driver that gives the PR team the most headaches before race weekends, I don’t think I’ve done anything recently to bring the wrath of Scott Hayes down on me lately.

“Sounds like I’m about to be on the receiving end of one of your inspiring pep talks boss.” I flash him my most disarming smile, trying to hide the pit that has suddenly formed in my stomach.

Scott simply rolls his eyes and steps back into his office without another word, leaving me no choice but to follow.

Fantastic.

“Good luck in there.” My performance coach Levi McAllen claps me on the back when I walk past him. “Find me after and we’ll go through what he says, okay?”

What he means is ‘I’ll talk you down off the ledge Scott is about to put you on’. While Scott Hayes is a legend in Formula One, he’s also one of the scariest mother fuckers I’ve ever worked for. I hate being on his bad side, which seems to happen on a regular basis more and more lately. Thankfully, my driving makes up for it. Most of the time.

“Yeah, yeah.” I sigh dramatically, running a hand through my mess of dark brown curls that are in desperate need of a haircut. I make a mental note to get to my barber before tonight’s charity gala, knowing our PR manager Loraine will have my head if I don’t. If I can show up with a clean cut mullet, she usually doesn't give me shit. The way that woman had almost buzzed off my entire head of hair when I showed up one day a few months ago with said mullet was almost scary. There might have been tears.

Weaving my way through the labyrinth of the garage easily, I manage to pretend I'm ignoring the engineers who keep tossing what look like sympathetic glances my way.

This is not going to be good.

I shut the door behind me, the snick of the latch the only sound in the quiet office.

Scott waves a hand towards one of the two white plastic chairs in front of his desk.

“Theo.” He begins, his voice softening a fraction. “We’ve invested a lot in you. You’re our number one driver, the face of Evans Racing in F1.”

I nod, a flicker of pride settling the anxiety still churning in my stomach a bit. Being a Formula 1 driver has been my dream since the first time my dad plopped me down behind the wheel of a go kart. It’s exactly where I want to be. Fast cars, pretty girls, the roar of the crowd dressed in your team colors - it’s a life I’ve dreamt of since I was a scrappy little kid fighting for the podium on dusty, back woods karting tracks.

“Frankly, Theo,” Scott continues, his voice turning rough again, “The results haven’t been there. A few podiums, yeah, but no wins. We’ve poured resources into this car and it’s showing. We need you to step it up, to translate that speed into wins.”

I lean back in my chair, shoulders dropping. He’s not wrong. We certainly had the fastest car on the grid most weekends but I hadn’t capitalized on it yet. The media was starting to chatter about how I might not have the skill or mentality to handle a fast car and championship fight. Here I was, my sixth season in F1 and only one win to my name. And that singular win had taken me four and a half seasons to get. Sure, I was consistent enough, I hold the record for the most podiums before winning a race in all of F1 history. Second and third place finishes will only get you so far in this sport though, especially when your team has made huge leaps in technology in the last half dozen years.

The responsibility of translating that speed and those improvements into wins sat squarely on my shoulders.

“I know, Scott.” I say. “Believe me, I want to win just as much as you guys do. Probably even more.”

It was true. My entire career I’ve been the ‘solid, consistent, well performing driver’. Good enough to gain the attention of Evans back when I was just 16 years old driving in F3 but never quite good enough to be considered one of the greats. And the reputation of being ‘almost good enough’ starts to grate on your ego after a while.

Scott studies me a moment, a hint of doubt lingering in his eyes. “Theo,” He says finally, “you have the talent we want here at Evans. We wouldn’t have signed you otherwise. You’re a natural behind the wheel, your race craft impeccable. But sometimes…” He trails off, the silence of his unfinished words hanging heavy in the air.

I know exactly what he’s trying to say. The late nights, the tabloid headlines, the reputation for being a player that follows me like a shadow. It’s a tightrope I usually walk a little better than I have been lately. Balancing the bad boy image with the laser focus I need on the track was something I’m usually good at. Or at least I thought I was.

Maybe I’m not as good at the balancing act as I thought I once was.

“I’ll do better.” I promise, meeting his heated gaze head-on. “This race, this whole season? It’s mine. No more distractions, just wins.”

A flicker of something that might have qualified as a smile crosses his lips. “We’ll see.” He says, a hint of steel still in his voice. “We’ll see. Your contract is coming to an end this year and we want you to be in this seat next year. You are the heart and soul of this team but we need you to start winning.”

We both knew my word is only as good as my last race. The pressure was on. I had to get serious about my driving. I know I have it in me to be a better driver, that I haven’t hit the peak of my career yet. I was just running out of time to finally find the missing piece to the puzzle that was my career. I had to find it and I had to find it fast.

Tag List (reminder, this is 100% different from my normal tag list!)

@ahgase99

32 notes · View notes

graceisinthelibrary · 2 days ago

Note

How about #2 from the prompt list.

Sorry, but this took a while and it's too long... It's set between the episodes 5.5 and 5.6.

“You’re burning up! Like a match!”

“Nonsense! Bugger off!” The mere idea was preposterous. Siegfried stared at his brother, the smug beggar, and wished him to the moon or at least back to Doncaster. He did his best to ignore the heat in his cheeks and hoped his beard would sufficiently cover his unease, before anyone else noticed it.

Tristan chuckled and picked up the manuscript, the tome, as Siegfried had baptised it and gave the title a closer look. “Ancient Persia, eh? A memoir… anything racy?” With another giggle he dropped the volume to the desk. Dust exploded, dancing in the sunlight of the late spring morning.

Siegfried wished his embarrassment about his feeble attempts at dating were less distinctive. It rubbed him the wrong way that everyone thought he was a lonely old man without any prospects in love. Well, he was getting older, no doubt about that. His aching bones spoke volumes about his age and so did his reading glasses, but none of this meant he wasn’t interesting to women. He was rusty, admittedly. But he wasn’t past his prime. Mrs Hall had said so, Carmody had reminded him about it, but Tristan had a field day with it.

Somewhere behind him, he heard Mrs Hall moving about. She was giving the dining room a thorough dusting and although she would never say anything to embarrass him, he knew she was well aware of his interest in Miss Grantley. There was nothing happening in this household that she wasn’t aware of. He felt the heat in his cheeks intensifying as he tried to fathom whether she had an opinion about the matter or not.

Did she think of him as a fool for trying his luck?

Did she find him pathetic by getting into Miss Grantley’s good graces by reading her book?

Tristan apparently did and he knew Helen good enough to know, she was thinking the same. James was perhaps the only one who didn’t bother to phrase his opinion and he was glad for his partner’s discretion.

He had read his way half through the manuscript by now and didn’t know what to make of it. Catherine Grantley’s grammar lacked some things to be desired, and the story of her life seemed indeed racy. A bit too racy for his taste, but then what did he know about life and love in Persia? He wasn’t stuffy, but he wasn’t sure he enjoyed various descriptions of liaisons in the desert.

In the corner of his eyes he watched Mrs Hall as she picked up Evelyn’s picture and cautiously cleaned it. She placed it gently back on the piano before she moved on to the next object, a small clock. The almost loving way with which Audrey Hall looked after Evelyn’s memory touched him and made him wonder about Miss Grantley and the late husband she barely remembered.

The phone rang and sensing this was the opportunity to get rid of Tris, he barked at his brother to answer ‘the bloody phone’. Tris’ refusal, rooting in his amusement, vanished when Mrs Hall used her feather duster and her stern gaze on him. Once again she had saved him, but he didn’t want to show her how much Tristan’s teasing bothered him.

“Just ignore him,” she said softly. “You know how he is.”

“You mean he’s an annoying busybody. Worse than the vicar’s wife!”

“He means well. He wants you to be happy.”

“Well, I would be a lot happier if people stopped bothering me!” He snapped. Mrs Hall was the last person who deserved his gruff, but he didn’t know how to cope. He stared at the manuscript and sighed, annoyed with himself. “Is it that bad?” She asked, leaving it open if she was referring to the book or the woman herself.

“Bosworth was right, you know.” He shoved the book into his drawer and shut it forcefully. “I’m all played out. Maybe I should join him for some bingo session on Friday night in the church hall.”

Now it was her turn to chuckle. “You better not. You have no idea how the widows long for an eligible widower who’s still in possession of his own teeth and hair.” Despite his wish to be grumpy she just made him laugh. He looked at her and realised how cute she looked. The duster was stuck under her armpit and one of the feathers had come loose and was entangled with her hair. He longed to pull it out, but that would perhaps be considered overstepping. There was a roguishness about the way she smiled at him, that restored his good mood though and so he let her go without mentioning the feather.

His eyes followed her trail down the hall. Suddenly he thought that he maybe should tell Miss Grantley about her grammar mistakes and some minor content-related improvements for her literary work.

On her way into the kitchen Audrey thought about Siegfried and his sudden wish to impress that archeologist or whatever that lady did for a living. She couldn’t help but feel that she had put the bug in his ear when she had told him not to compare himself to Bosworth and that there was plenty in life ahead of him. And she had meant it. Their temper aside, the men didn’t have much in common.

So, why did it bother her that he was trying to get into the good graces of this exotic stranger? From what Carmody had told her, Miss Grantley was an alien figure to begin with. Nice, but also… aloof? If Richard Carmody noticed as much she must be a handful.

Lost in her thoughts, she entered her pantry and listlessly collected the ingredients she needed to prepare lunch. As she put the pan on the stove, Siegfried entered the kitchen and filled the kettle with water.

“I can do that,” she offered and looked at him.

He just smiled and shook his head. “Mrs Hall… May I?”

Confused, she blinked, as he raised his hand and pointed at her head.

“Course…”

He slowly pulled out the feather and showed it to her. “A bit rogue that one,” he said. She took it and smiled at him. “Thank you for restoring me dignity.”

“Thank you, Mrs Hall,” he said and when she crooked her eyebrow, puzzled, he added, “For being you.”

#all creatures great and small #acgas 2020 #siegfried farnon #audrey hall #siegfried x audrey #tristan farnon #fanfiction #prompt #writing prompt

35 notes · View notes

notcaycepollard · 1 day ago

Note

hey, I hope this is okay to ask since you’re now talking about stackie on here again.

do you have thoughts on what happened between them, like genuinely. do you think they were just friends with benefits, fell in love along the way and til this day these feelings are still there, or more? sometimes seb says these painfully sincere things about him that make it sound like he’s in love with him and sometimes he’s all snarky and says he hates him. without even too much tinhatting what do you think about them?

okay so I’m gonna lay out a range of Scenarios in decreasing likelihood/increasing tinhatting, on the agreement that we are all just foolin around thinking out some thoughts none of this is real and I do have a hold on my normal brain

1) the intense situational friendship

we’ve all been there. A workplace that puts you in constant intense contact with each other and destroys your ability to maintain normal external life while you’re in the middle of it (filming, press tour) and before you know it you’re trauma bonding over cigarettes in the back of the parking lot and swearing you’ll be bffs forever and nobody knows you like they know you

and then you quit or the film wraps or the junket is over and you make all this big noise about staying friends and catching up but inevitably your new reality begins to get in the way, plus after a year or two you can’t sustain catch ups that revolve around work gossip when you’re not in the middle of that shit anymore, and it’s not that either of you are deliberately fading out it’s just that friendships like that naturally ebb over time but u still got a soft spot for your guy your pal your best marvel bro

2) the intense situational friendship but you act a little gay about it

maybe you’re gay, maybe you’re not, some straight dudes are pretty fun about idle gay flirting for the bit, and platonic chemistry looks like flirtation from the outside anyway so you let everyone give you the side eye and keep sharing cigarettes in a way that’s a little bit too close for anyone to NOT wonder

3) the intense situational work-crush, one-sided

it’s the above but one of you is super gay about it for real not for the bit

and maybe you know or maybe you don’t, maybe the other guy knows or maybe HE don’t, as above some straight dudes will just flirt for the bit but anyway it’s more likely he doesn’t know it’s real for you or at least he’s gonna keep the facade up

so you say some weird stuff to and about each other and play it up for the interviews and it could pass for platonic chemistry but you gotta keep the yearning on lock or you wind up accidentally looking at your work friend like he’s the sun moon and stars and then you’re lying in bed that night like FUCK did I make it TOO weird

(if it was gonna be weird he wouldn’t be constantly telling you your hair is so great and touching it in a way that makes you shiver and want something you’re not ever gonna give shape to even inside your own head)

(like running his fingers through and taking hold at the nape of your neck and threatening idly to pull it for real not for jokes, and you do wonder just once before you can catch yourself, what would it be like if he followed up with a kiss or, like, setting his teeth in the side of your throat and biting down just a little)

usually it’s recoverable if you don’t admit to or talk about your feelings, it’ll pass when you’re not spending 16 hours a day in each other’s company but he’ll hug you years later at the golden globes and he’ll still smell so good and you WILL feel Something that sort of hurts but in a mostly good way

maybe years later you’ll have worked through it and gotten a secure-attachment real life boyfriend and you’ll idly refer to that big crush you had and it won’t feel like you’re choking on acid it’ll just be Haha Wow Remember That One Time When

4) the casual work friends-with-bennies

you’re both cool! you both like to kiss on the mouth and also suck a dick occasionally! you’re never gonna come out about it because it’s hollywood but it makes a film shoot a lot more fun when you can blow off some steam in your trailer

you can drop it at the end of filming and pick it back up when you get signed for a Disney plus show together and it’s fine, it’s chill, it’s a truly optimal outcome

5) the casual work friends-with-bennies but one of you caught feelings

oh bud. we’re in mess territory and you’re gonna get burned by it but you already know that and the best you can hope for is that once you’re not fucking the feelings will fade

in all honesty it’ll still burn you less than scenario 3 because an intense friendship like that takes you so much deeper into casual intimacy but on the other hand you DO know what his dick feels like halfway down your throat and let’s be real, the smart thing to do would be call it off but the sex is too good so you’re just waiting it out for the crash

and the crash is bad, obviously, you finish the press tour and go home and if you push down you can still feel the last bruise-bite but you’re back to texting once a month and hearing about each other through social media instead of in person

you’ll do it again though because you are a sucker for punishment and it’ll be just as good slash just as bad

6) the intense situational work friendship turned friends-with-bennies

[ralph wiggum voice] haha you’re in danger

and I want to tell you that you’re BOTH in danger but let’s be real, one of you is way more likely to get real feelings about it and once that happens it’s all over for you because while he’s going, yeah this is cool I like to suck a dick occasionally and I also like my good buddy so what a good combination, you’re drawing love hearts in the margins of your script and thinking about a romantic holiday to Romania

you will end filming and he will go “good game man let’s catch up next time we’re in the same city” and you will feel something catch in your heart

all I can say is that at least you entered into the fucking part of this on the basis of true friendship and the feelings didn’t arrive until after you were already fucking. it’s still not great. It’s bad. But at least there’s that.

7) intense situational work-crush (one-sided) turned friends-with-bennies

we are in the game over zone. you are not in danger you are surrounded on all sides by forest fire and there’s no way out. you have signed up for a prolonged broken heart and [radiohead voice] you did it to yourself

either you pretend forever that you did not have a crush before you started fucking and you don’t have a crush now, and you silently suffer through losing the brief joy of getting to kiss when filming ends (bad) or you admit to your feelings and your friend tells you with grace and sympathy that he does not feel the same way (worse) or you hide your feelings so poorly that you act like a total asshole and when you do eventually admit to it the entire edifice of friendship is torn down by the force of your repressed emotion (worst).

appendix: what if they both had feelings?

no I’m sorry I simply don’t think this is realistic I think AT MOST it was a love affair where one person liked the other quite a lot but the other was in it Too Deep and that was unsustainable long-term.

anyway, my only other contribution is that apparently sebstan’s current girlfriend previously dated chris pine. for four years. isn’t that interesting? chris pine, now that’s a man with some perplexingly undefinable energy. some would say, that man is a lesbian. just interesting to me that an aspiring model slash actress would date an extremely lesbian man for four years and then two months after breaking up would get together with ol sebastian, a man who was apparently spotted celebrating his 40th with said girlfriend and a passel of other pals including his long-time buddy chace crawford.

which could mean nothing, obviously. but it’s interesting. that’s all.

#stackie

27 notes · View notes

smoluglies · 3 days ago

Note

Hi, i love your art, its super cute and one of a kind! My question is out of all artpieces you’ve created, which would personally be your favourite? Thank you and have a good day! 😄

Hello! Thank you so much ☺️ and thanks for asking such an interesting question! It took me quite some time to think about it and I’m still not sure! Since a lot of my illustrations hold some kind of emotional value for me - some because they include a place / animal from my personal life, while others a memory or feeling from the past. Here are 3 that I think are my favourites as of now :)

1. The calm before the storm - for me it’s a really nostalgic piece and reminds me of childhood. I really love the moment when you can start to hear rumbling of thunder in the distance and the sky grows darker, and you’re anticipating a storm that will bring relief from the summer heat. The atmosphere of that moment is just one of my favourite things in life! I love thunderstorms.

2. ⁠A meeting with autumn - I like this piece visually and it’s of a place I would go for walks to very often a couple of years ago. So I like it because it reminds me of that place and of course I love when nature is so colourful in autumn.

3. ⁠Bubble cat - this one is from last year and the story behind this one is that I was trying to draw how I often feel - with my head in the clouds and in my own little bubble, within my comfort zone. Funnily enough I went out of my comfort zone drawing this illustration because I don’t feel so confident in drawing clouds, I would much rather draw meadows or forests and here it was just the sky. But I’m quite proud of how the piece turned out.

Thank you once again and I hope you have a wonderful day 🥰

31 notes · View notes

writing-whenever-whatever · 11 hours ago

Text

Your duty is here

Velaryon (strong) reader x cregan stark

Summary : you’re lucerys twin sister the only daughter to Rhaenyra is sent with your older brother Jace to winterfell to meet your betrothed lord cregan stark for the first time after your marriage to lord stark things start to go wrong leaving you and your family with holes in their hearts

Warnings : Warnings : 18+ mdni, p in v sex, f!oral, blood, loosing virginity, fingering, praise kink, cream pie, talk of pregnancy, hickeys, arranged marriage, wedding drama, jealousy, death, grief, loving family, comfort, use of high Valyrian, not proof read

———————————————————————

It’s early in the morning when I’m sat in my room watching the sun rise through my window as I hear a knock on my door and enters one of my maids to help me dress and prepare for the day and the travels I have ahead of me.

“ good morning Katia” I look at her smiling sweetly “ what dress have you got me for my travels today” i see her walk in holding a thick black and red dress that’s suitable for travelling on dragon back “ this is the dress your mother wishes you to wear and then we’ll pack you some others for when you’re there” I smile at her “ thank you katia” I smile as I stand up and she starts helping me into the dress lacing it up from the back tightly “ you’ll be grateful for the thick material we chose once you reach the north the weather is known to be not as warm as it is hear” she says gently pulling the laces till the dress fits snug against my figure.

“ have you ever been north katia” I look at her my eyes drifting to the floor slightly “ I haven’t princess but I’m sure you’ll enjoy your life there I’ve heard lord cregan stark is a kind man” I nod looking at her “ I hope so” I sigh quietly katia runs her fingers through my hair platting sections into a half up half down look taming my wild dark curls as I hear a knock on my door “ enter” I call out still facing the large mirror that sits opposite my bed.

Luce walks in dragging his feet as he’s dressed in his dragon riding gear his hair is slightly messy and he smiles at me as he sees how beautiful I look “ you look lovely sister” he says walking to me “ thank you Luce I’m glad you like it” I say hugging him “ I can’t believe we’re being separated “ I look down sadness filling my face he rests his hand on my cheek “ hey don’t be like that we have a connection and I’ll never be too far away I promise “ he runs his thumb sliding across my cheek bone stroking it gently “ promise to write” I look at him as he nods “ i promise I’ll right as soon as I return back from storms end and you must tell me everything of this cregan stark I must know if he is deserving of my sweet twin” I giggle at his protective nature “ I’m sure Jace would step in if he isn’t suitable brother trust me” I kiss his cheek “ let us go to breakfast before we all depart” he says taking my hand in his as we walk to the dining hall in dragon stone.

The early morning sun is draping through the window as we sit at the table me Luce and Jace on one side baela and rhaena on the other mother and Damon at each end as plates of fruit, cakes, meat and cheeses are brought out on platters i sit taking a bunch of grapes eating them slowly not wanting to eat too much knowing it would make me ill if I ate too much before flying.

I look over at my brothers who are stuffing themselves with meats and cakes as if it is thier last good meal in a while I look up at my mother “ what do they eat in the north” I question placing a grape in my mouth “a lot of warm foods like stew, pie and bread but they do have cakes too” my mother looks at me a gentle smile on her face as I scrunch my nose up at the thought of eating nothing but stew “ you’ll adjust y/n do not worry sweetling” she giggles at my displeasure “ I don’t think I will” I look down slightly picking up some of the food on the table passing it to the maid next to me “ please have some of this packed in my bag for later thank you” Jace laughs at me a large toothy grin on his face “ you’ll be fine y/n” he touches the back of my hand “ trust me” I look down nodding slightly going quiet Luce looks at me he leans into my ear whispering “ if you hate it then I’ll come for you” I giggle my face lifting into a smile as he places a soft kiss on my cheek I see rhaena’s lip twitch in disgust her eyes burning into me filled with jealousy as she rises from her seat leaving the table without asking, baela soon follows concerned about her sister as she rushes off.

Rhaenyra sighs slightly watching the two girls run off “ it’s only for a few days y/n then you’ll come back home or if you like it there you can stay and grant lord cregan stark as your husband “ I look at her “ I do not want a husband I want to fight I want to help you and the family get your birth right back” daemon lets out a laugh as rhaenyra bangs on the table rising from her seat “ you’re doing your part y/n it’s not safe for you” I sigh going quiet again daemon looks at me “ your mother was like you once now look at her a loyal wife and she enjoys married life and so will you” I nod staying quiet now letting my eyes stay down on my lap instead of looking at anyone at the table. I finally rise from my seat “ I’m going to finish getting ready” I walk off without another word.

I walk into my chambers again seeing katia and two other maids packing my bags “ they just want to sell me off “ I pace back and forth “ that’s all mother wants to do “ katia grabs my shoulders stoping my pacing “ calm down princess your mother is doing what is best for you what will keep you safe” I look at her “ your on her side you think I’m weak that I can not fight” I pull myself away from her “ who else thinks such a thing is true” tears well in my eyes “ listen to my y/n she just wants you safe in the north instead of being made to fight in this war and taken by the greens as a prisoner god knows what aegon would do to a woman prisoner” I shudder at the thought pulling away from her “ I can not be useful if bound to a bed chamber with a swollen belly” she shakes her head “ you are useful you are passing on your mothers legacy continuing her blood line” I sit on the edge of the bed “ do what you can to make your mother proud from a safe distance princess it is what is best” she rests her hand on my knees crouching in front of me as I nod.

A few moments pass and the maids close my bags finally finishing the packing I get up hugging Katia and the other two “ if I do not return be safe and thank you for being so kind” I smile sweetly as they hug me back I turn to see Jace in the door way “ you ready” he tilts his head his curls falling infront of his face making me giggle “ I am brother” he smiles as I walk to him he rests his hand on my lower back guiding me to the steps down to the dragon pit where mother and Luce are talking as I walk closer Luce looks at me a smile on his face “ next time I see you you may be a married woman” his eyes filled with pride “ we do not know that for certain I haven’t even met the man yet and I do not see myself getting married without my twin by my side” he wraps his arms around me enveloping me in a tight squeeze pushing my head to his chest “ Jorrāelagon ao lēkia” ( love you brother) I mumble into his chest as he kisses the top of my head “Jorrāelagon ao tolī mandia sir sagon ȳgha se remember naejot bardugon” (Love you more sister now be safe and remember to write) I take in his scent one more time before he lets go stepping back letting mother step forward “ y/n be on your best behaviour in the north promise me you will give lord cregan a chance” I nod “ the journey will be a long one and it will be very different from dragon stone but you’ll grow to love it” she rests her hand on my cheek “ be safe”

she turns to Jace continuing to talk to him as I make my way into the dragon pit where my dragon Xylix is resting she is a beautiful dragon who is young but also extremely large in size bigger than vermax and arrax who are both older than her, her scales are a cool toned silver with black tinges to I them her eyes are a bright orange and she has spikes that travel down from the top of her head to the bottom of her tail “ Skorkydoso issi īlon tubī dōna hāedar” ( how are you today sweet girl) I coo running my hands along her scaled neck her head tilts to me as she nudges me playfully I giggle “Issi ao ready syt nykeā bōsa jēda hen sōvegon” ( are you ready for a long time of travel?) She lets out a low rumbling noise joint by a clicking I smile as she lowers herself as if preparing for me to mount my saddle

I can hear jaces footsteps coming into the pit as I climb onto Xylix’s back as he comes into sight and vermax comes out to meet him “ are you ready to fly sister “ he asks his voice calm and caring “ I’m ready brother I shall meet you in the skys” I hold onto the saddle “Sōvegon xylix vermax jāhor join īlva isse se jēdar” (Fly xylix, vermax will join us in the sky) she starts flapping her wings moving herself out of the pit and as the fresh air hits my skin soon enough we’re in the sky flying a few minutes pass and Jace joins me flying next to me I can see lucerys flying on arrax in the opposite direction.

———————————————————————

We stay flying for hours through the thick growing clouds watching as the sun starts to fade in the distance making the skys glow in oranges and pinks it’s beautiful “ sister we should stop to rest we’ve been flying for 10 hours straight “ Jace cry’s across to me “ is it safe to land here” I look at him furrowing my eye brows “ it is safe for a break we shall rest and refresh for a while then we can take off again” he smiles at my concern “ Tegon xylis sīr īlon kostagon rest” (land xylis so we can rest) I call out following in jaces actions as both our dragons lower down from the skies towards the ground.

As we land near the vale we set up camp by a tree I look at Jace watching as he sets up a fire and takes out blankets “ sister rest” he looks at me “ I am ok Jace I’ll rest when I need it” I smile resting my head back against the soft green grass surrounding us I watch the Skys as they turn slightly darker “ isn’t beautiful “ he looks at me “ what is” he questions as he settles himself next to me “ nature it is beautiful when not destroyed by peoples actions” I sigh as he wraps his arms around me in a close embrace “ rest little sister you need to rest we take off again in 5 hours” I rest my head against him “ it will be night soon brother are you sure it’ll be safe” I tilt my head “ the night will be smoother than the day a little wind or rain maybe but we’ll be ok” he smiles as I rest my eyes and i slowly start to relax.

When I wake there are two skinned birds cooking on the fire I look at Jace who’s sat watching them cook as the sky grows darker “food will be ready soon sister” he says softly running his fingers through my hair “ have the dragons eaten anything “ I tilt my head looking up at him “ they have had some food but they will be fed properly at winterfell” I rest my head on his shoulder “ i understand how much longer do we fly “ I look at him sweetly as he passes me one of the birds “ a day and a half it is quite a long journey but if we do it with few breaks it will go well” I nod agreeing with him as I tuck in to the bird.

After another hour I get up ready to start flying again “ I’m ready brother let us leave” the skies are now black twinkling with stars as we rise up into them there is a slight twinge in the air that brings chills but we go onwards flying till sun rise and on further.

—————————————————————-

A few days pass and we finally arrive in winterfell the cold air freezes my bones causing me to shiver and Xylix grumbled her scales burning hot trying to keep her warm as we settle onto the ground that’s covered in a white powdery substance that crunches under foot i climb off her back and run straight to Jace uncertain of this strange new place.

We see two lower class men leave the gates of winterfell with lanterns to light up the path from the growing darkness of night “ prince princess welcome to winterfell” they greet us bowing slightly “ lord cregan is waiting inside along with a hot meal for you both” the man offers me his arm to hold onto but I ignore it holding onto Jace I turn to look at xylix one lay time “Umbagon kesīr xylix sagon sȳz” (Stay here xylix be good ) Jace smiles at me as we turn and start to walk to the gates of winterfell.

When we finally enter the winterfell castle the warm still air along with the smell of steak pie and ale hits me I hold onto jace more as I feel all the men in the room who are sat tucking into plates of food then to stare at us “ Skoros issi pōnta jurnegēre rȳ” (what are they staring at?) I look up at him furrowing my brows as I swallow a rising lump in my throat “ Pōnta’re admiring aōha gevie dōna mandia Ziry’s daor tolvie tubis pōnta’re isse se company hen royalty” (they admiring your beauty sweet sister it’s not every day they’re in the company of royalty) he says brushing a stray curl behind my ear.

A large man stands up walking over to us from the front of the hall he’s in thick fur clothes a direwolf pin holding his cloak to his shoulders his shoulder length brown hair is untamed and wild his deep grey eyes boring into me “ prince princess it is great to have you in winterfell” he bows slightly as he rises a small smile is toying on his lips “ you must be lord cregan stark” Jace says smiling giving me a slight side eye as I fidget uncomfortably as I keep my eyes connected with the lord stark’s.

“ you must be exhausted we have food and refreshments prepared for you and then there are rooms ready for you with your belongings” I smile looking at him “ thank you my lord “ he nods at me before leading us to the table where he was occupied prior to greeting us “ i hope you do not mind that you will both be sat next to me” he jests “ we do not mind at all lord stark it is best that you and my sister are well introduced “ Jace smiles as I roll my eyes as cregan pulls out my chair for me I sit down “ thank you” I say as he pushes me back to the table I giggle a light blush rising to my face “ you northerners seem to be very strong my lord” he looks at me a smirk rising to his face “ the stronger the people the more work gets done princess” he sits next to me taking a sip from his cup ale.

“ I guess you’re right with that” I sigh looking down at the plate of pie, mash and veg that has been placed infront of me by a servant I look at her a gentle smile on my face “ thank you” she simply nods before rushing away “ this food is very different from what we have at home” Jace says a uncertain smile on his face as he takes his fork in his hand poking at the food on his plate “ it’s best to eat hot food with the cold weather here” cregan says looking at me “ but I’m sure when you’re my lady wife the kitchen staff can make anything you want” I blush more as I take a mouthful “ this is delicious” I smile at him as I take more “ I’m glad you like it” cregan says smiling as he starts to eat his own pie.

I sit back after eating half of the food on my plate feeling full up “ are you alright princess you haven’t finished your plate “ cregan looks at me concerned I look at him sweetly as Jace pipes up “ my sister doesn’t have much of an appetite for savoury foods “ i glare across at him “Gaomagon daor embarrass issa lēkia” (do not embarrass me brother) I snap as he looks at me smugly “Lo ziry’s going naejot sagon aōha valzȳrys, ziry’ll emagon naejot gīmigon everything bē ao” (if he’s going to be your husband, he’ll have to know everything about you) cregan sits back observing our little spat as we go back and forth arguing in high valerian he seems entertained as he observes us “I do not mind princess everyone has a preference “ cregan rests his large rough hands in the back of mine making a red blush rise to my cheeks “what’s your favourite treat ” he looks at me tilting his head “ I like jam tarts and lemon cakes but I love natural fruits too like grapes, apples and berries” I look at him smiling “ do you have a sweet tooth cregan” he sits back on his chair thinking for a second “ I have bitter pallet than a sweeter one “ I nod smiling up at him “ I guess opposites attract” Jace jests looking at me “Lo ao istan dēmagon hembar naejot issa nyke would actually hīlagon ao” (if I was sat next to you right now I’d actually hit you) i spit at him slightly but all i get in response is an entertained laugh leaving jaces mouth as he leans back on his chair “ it’s Clear she likes you lord stark” he says through gasps for air as he keeps laughing clutching his sides “ I’m glad to hear that princess being you’re quite beautiful and sweet I’d be glad to call you my wife” I hide my face in my hands blushing violently “ thank you cregan you’re kind but I must know you more before making a decision “ he chuckles a low gruff laugh “ I understand and I’ll enjoy getting to know you through your visit”.

As the night goes on me and cregan get to know a lot about each other he learns that I’m lucerys younger twin sister my favourite foods hobbies and that I’m desperate to do my duty for my mothers corse even if it means not being able to fight in my mothers name. I learn that cregan is the eldest son of rickon stark that he has a younger brother who passed early in life he gained the title of lord of winterfell and warden of the north when he was ten and three and that he is a loyal man who believes in holding an oath no matter the consequences.

As I get to know him more I sit sipping a cup of wine slowly falling for him as he looks at me a smile on his face my heart flutters “ people really didn’t over exaggerate your beauty y/n “ he smirks as I flutter my eyelashes “ you should know that beauty is power” I giggle at him as he looks confused “ how” I lean forward resting my elbow on the table “ well if your beautiful more people are loyal to you they gift you things and just will do anything to be in your presence “ i explain looking up at him a look of pride on my face “ how did you learn this” he furrows his brows “ I learnt it young when I started to develop my uncles started to lust over me I learned I could ask for anything they’d do it and they’d gift things to me just to see me smile” I giggle remembering how aegon and Aemond treated me so well just to be near me “ well I’m glad you’re here now you can use your beauty here in the north” I giggle looking at him “ you’re quite beautiful your self my lord” I run my fingers through his hair “ you flatter me princess” i giggle as he kisses my cheek “ it’s getting late may I walk you to your chambers” I blush more nodding as I take his arm “ good night brother see you in the morrow” i kiss his cheek before leaving with cregan.

He walks me to a rather large bed chamber with a large crackling fire burning a four poster bed with thick furs as well as bed sheets the window had a view of the gods wood that has trees of red and orange mixed with that same white that greeted us earlier today then in the wash room there is a steaming hot bath prepared as I look around the room .

cregan comes up behind me resting he’s hand on my waist “ I do hope you like this room but if you become my wife I hope even more well share a bed chambers” I turn around to look at him “ I would like that a lot” I giggle as I wrap my arms around his neck going on my tiptoes to kiss his lips leaving him slightly shocked as I walk away into the bathing room “ good night cregan” I call out as I unlace my dress giving him a small glimpse of my naked body before I slip into the tub “ good night princess “ he stutters out extremely flustered before leaving.

———————————————————————

Cregan goes back to my brother who is still sat in the hall drinking ale and talking to the northerners he sits back in his seat “ your sister is quite the cheeky minx my prince” his face still red with blushing “ I’m glad she likes you, you aren’t the first she’s been offered a marriage from most of them she despised I think she was expecting mother to betroth her to lucerys but he is already with a woman as am I” he looks at cregan a smile on his face as he sees an intrigued look on him

“ her and lucerys are very close but do not be alarmed by it tis just the twin bond they hold” he chuckle “ my prince I have learnt a lot about your sister this evening she even shared her lips with mine is it enough to marry her” he questions “ leave it another day you must see her in the day time not just in the night she may seem different” he looks at cregan pride in his eyes “ you will look after her won’t you” he says voice wavering slightly “ of course will my prince she will be safe by my side now and always”.

———————————————————————

As the morning sun rises I look out of my window seeing cregan and a hunting team out in the woods I sit there watching resting my head inn my hands as I admire him I do not realise Jace walking into my room he creeps up next to me “ what are you looking at”I jump out my skin falling back off my chair he laughs historically “nothing I wasn’t looking at anything “ he pulls me up off the floor “ well it seems you were staring at lord stark” he tease me “ he is lovely isn’t he” I look at him red blush flushing my face “I’m glad you’ve found your someone sister” he pulls me into an embrace “he is fond of you” he looks down at me “ he wishes to marry you” I blush more nodding “ I’d like that” I giggle as Jace twirls me around playfully “my sweet little sister a beautiful bride you shall make” he looks at me eyes full of pride as he lets go of my hand “ get dressed I shall meet you in the hall” he smiles as I rush to my wardrobe where all my clothes have been unpacked.

I look through them all of them thick and warm to protect me from the chill of the north I pick out a dark blue dress it had a silver belt around the waist with the Targaryen crest in the centre, a low neck line that has a fur collar and long sleeves I look in the mirror as I tie my own laces tightening them as much as I can till it fits snug then I run my fingers through my wild curls then going to join Jace in the hall.

I run down the long stone corridors stumbling slightly as my feet slip on an odd bit of ice that’s made its way into the castle making me giggle as I walk into the hall standing next to Jace “ you look beautiful sister” he rests his hand on mine holding it gently “ thank you” I giggle looking up at him “ I feel like I’ll have fun here” he pulls me into a hug “ good I’m glad” he pulls away to take a seat at the table “ oh I forgot to tell you that Luce had to go back to dragon stone the weather was too torrential to travel to storms end and mother instructed him to go back in a week” I sit back “ is he ok is he safe” trying to hide the panic in my voice “ he is fine y/n he’s safe” I nod taking a deep breath to calm myself as I see cregan enter into into the hall.

“ lord stark good morning “ I smile as he walks towards us he has white flex of snow in his hair and on the fur of his jacket “ good morning y/n did you sleep well” he asks taking his seat next to me “ very well thank you” I look up at him smirking “how did you sleep” I take his hand in mine looking at him “ I slept well thank you princess “ I lean in close to his ear whispering to him “ did you dream of me” he blushes violently I giggle more he wraps his arm around me “ you cheeky minx” he pulls me into his lap I sit across his lap looking at Jace a wide grin on my face “ I know it’s still not been long but will you marry me now” I look up at cregan “ perhaps” I look at him a smug smile on my face as I lean in my lips inches away from his “ I like you cregan stark you’re a good man not like some of the other people that have offered me their hand” my soft breath hitting his face “ i believe I may marry you” he pulls me into kissing me roughly and passionately his hands on my waist as i wrap my arms around his neck have sits back watching it in shock.

———————————————————————

As the day goes on I adventure out the castle walls going into the woods exploring the wintery wonderland that surrounds me going deep into the trees picking up the fallen leaves then I find a large tree with winding roots I sit under it taking out a book i’d brought with me about the histories of winterfell and start reading loosing myself to the history of the north. I read for hours not noticing the snow falling from the sky as the day starts fading away. I hear footsteps getting closer to me suddenly I put my book down looking up at cregan who is looking down at me “ it’s getting cold out here princess “ he sits next to me “ I must have lost myself in thought I’m so sorry “ he pulls me into him “ tis ok I’m glad you’re adjusting to the north well” I rest my head on his shoulder “ this place is so peaceful “ I look at him smiling sweetly “ come on let us go inside before the snow swallows us” I nod getting up holding onto his strong arm as we go back into the castle.

“ since you agreed to being my wife the wedding will take place later this week” I tilt my head looking up at him “ why so soon are you that desperate for me” I giggle teasing him slightly “ well I was told by the prince your brother lucerys would be able to come but any time later he’ll be busy” I blush looking up at him “ thank you for making sure he can come “ I rest my head on him “ i know he’s important to you” he holds me close as we finally get back into the castle.

———————————————————————

Within the next few days everything had been sorted it seems slightly rushed but it’s gone well. It’s two days till the wedding when mother and lucerys arrive with baela and rhaena when I see them outside the gate I run out the door excited to see them I run straight to Luce and hug him tightly basically jumping into his arms “ my beautiful sister how are you” he holds me a big smile on his face “ I’m great but I’ve missed you” he smiles looking down at me as I rest my feet back on the floor “ I’m glad to hear your betrothal to cregan has been going well” my mother speaks up looking at me “ he is so lovely mother” I assure her smiling happily as I see cregan walking out the doors of the castle “ my queen it’s good to have you and your family in winterfell for our wedding “ he smiles looking at how I join his side looking extremely excited to see my family again.

Rheana and baela both look me up and down with a look of hatred in thier face that makes my stomach drop I’ve always known that they don’t like me but they’ve never looked at me like that as they push thier way into the castle of winterfell cravens eyes follow them a small scowl growing in his face “ don’t worry about them cregan they are jealous of the attention i get from my brothers” he wraps his arm around my shoulder pressing his face against my cheek “ they don’t deserve the attention you get my love” i giggle blushing violently as he turns back to my family resting his hands on the small of my back “ let us go inside the castle so we can properly welcome you all.” He smiles turning to walk into the castle with everyone following behind him.

He leads to the hall where a feast has been prepared “ welcome to the north” he smiles “ you can drink and eat as much as you want we are celebrating” he chuckles “ you aren’t married yet cregan” my mother looks at him “ we must celebrate the fact that you are here in the north my queen” he looks at me I smile “ we are simply excited mother tis all” she rests her hand on my cheek “ as long as you’re happy my girl” I giggle “ I am very happy mother” she looks at me smiling running her hand over my head placing a kiss on my forehead “ we shall celebrate then” she smiles.

As the celebrations commence I sit next to Luce my head resting on his shoulder as we talk in high valerian “Nyke istan sīr zūgagon bona ao wouldn’t settle kesīr” ( I was so concerned that you wouldn’t settle here) Luce whispers to me holding my hand in his “Nyke emagon settled sȳrī lēkia gaomagon daor zūgagon”(I have settled well brother do not fear ) he kisses my forehead gently ignoring the evil stares that rhaena gives us “Aōha jorrāelagon daor raqagon issa” ( your betrothed doesn’t like me) I look at rhaena as I lean to lucerys cheek kissing it “Gaomagon daor torment zȳhon mandia” ( do not torment her sister) he chuckles looking at me with a beaming smile on his face cregan turns to look at both of us a smile on his face “ jace was right to say your behaviours together is quite peculiar” i look at him giggling “ don’t be jealous cregan our love is simply a twin bond” cregan smiles “ i do not mind i like the fact family means a lot to you” he kisses my cheek pulling me back to him making me squeal quietly and giggle “ im glad my sister has found a loving man such as yourself” Luce looks at cregan smiling “ but if you hurt her at all I will come for you” he keeps a smile on his face before tucking into the food on his plate.

Cregan looks down at me raising his eyebrow slightly concerned by luce’s threat “ tis a jest he’s joking” i giggle resting my head against him “ but you aren’t gonna hurt me so he’d never need to hurt you” i take a swig of wine from my cup before continuing with the celebration.

———————————————————————

Days pass fast and on the morning of my wedding day it I wake up early the cold winter air blowing through the window I rise from the bed and close it quickly wrapping my blankets around my shoulders I go to the bathing chambers climbing into the freshly drawn bath washing myself scrubbing my skin raw till I feel clean and ready as I get out the bath wrapped in a towel as I re enter my room.

I hear my door open and Luce walks in “ are you nervous sister” he takes my hand in his “ a little “ I look up at him a nervous smile on my face as he pulls me closer hugging me “ you’re the bravest girl I’ve ever met y/n the north will suit you and if you ever need me I am only a short flight away”I rest my head against on his chest listening to his heart beat “to think this was the first sound I ever heard “ he chuckles looking down at me as he runs his hand down my back “please don’t forget me” I look up at him he shakes his head “ how could I ever forget my beautiful twin you’re half of me” he smiles kissing my head “ can you help me get ready for the wedding” I look up at him as his smile widens “ of course it would be a honour”

He helps me get into my dress it’s a beautiful gold scaled thick dress that fits tightly around my figure with white furs round my neck it’s bound with a ruby infused chain he then sits me in front of him as he plats my hair into a tight bun then he places a ruby hair pin into my hair. I look at myself in the mirror staring at my reflection “ I’m beautiful” I mumble happy tears prickling my eyes as I hug him “ you are always beautiful sister” he envelopes me in his embrace keeping me close to him protectively.

We stay together in my chambers for hours talking over everything he keeps me close to him soothing my anxieties “ I love you brother” I look at him sweetly as he kisses my forehead “ love you too” I smile up at him as he strokes my arm “ I need to go get ready i shall see you at the special time” he squeezes my hand excitedly I giggle “ thank you” I smile “I shall always be there for you” he walks out leaving me in my chamber alone.

A few hours pass and my mother comes to my chambers “ are you ready sweetling “she rests her hand on my shoulder looking over my dress and hair “ I’m ready mother” I smile excitedly but she can see a glimps of anxiety behind my eyes “ if your father could see you right now he’d be so proud “ she runs her hand over my cheek placing a kiss on my head “ come let’s go “ she holds my arm and we walk to the gods wood under the protective leaves of the giant autumn trees there are people gathered, the people of the north on one side my brothers and thier betrothed in the other as mother walks me down to the end of the isle till I’m stood face to face with cregan she lets go of my arm and takes her place next to my brothers.

Cregan looks down at me a smile on his face “ you look beautiful “ he whispers down to me “ so do you” I giggle looking into his deep grey eyes and take his hands into mine holding them smiling up at him the officiants announces “Let it be known that lord cregan stark of the house of stark and y/n velaryon of house velaryon are one heart, one flesh, one soul. Cursed be he who would seek to tear them asunder.” There’s a brief moment of silence as he continues “ In the sight of the Seven, I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one for eternity. Look upon one another and say the words” he looks down at me “Father. Smith. Warrior. Mother. Maiden. Crone. Stranger. I am his and he is mine, from this day, till the end of my days.” Then cregan repeats “Father. Smith. Warrior. Mother. Maiden. Crone. Stranger. I am hers, and she is mine, from this day, till the end of my days.” Then we meet each other in a long passionate kiss as everyone cheers in celebration as cregan lifts me from the ground making me giggle and squeal as he carries me bridal style towards the hall.

The doors are open and the hall has a feast laid out of all our favourite foods music and a dance floor the room is decorated with snapdragons, snow drops and daffodil bouquets on eat table and glowing candles lit around the room I wrap my arms around cregan’s neck kissing him passionately “ will you dance with me later” I look at him excited he looks down at me chuckling “ if it’ll make my lady wife happy “ I smile more nodding excitedly as he sits at his place of the table sitting me on his lap comfortably placing his hand on my waist.

A sweet selection of fruits is placed infront of me while cregan is given a pint of ale and a bowl of beef stew I look at him “ you’re not expecting me to eat that are you “ I pull a face slightly as he takes a mouthful chewing it before speaking “it would be nice for you to try it but I know how picky you can be” he tickles my sides slightly making me giggle “ fine I’ll try it for you my love” I look at him smiling as he brings a spoonful to my lips I take it into my mouth chewing it quickly and swallowing as quick as I can pulling a face shaking my head he laughs watching my face “ I think I’ll stick to my fruit thank you” I pick up a grape and placing it into my mouth to get rid of the taste He layfhs more stealing a grape from my plate eating it a smug look on his face as he enjoys it.

After a few cups of wine I come up with the great idea to go dance with the guests as cregan sits watching a smirk plastered on his face Luce comes to join me he holds out his hand to me “ shall we dance sweet sister” I take his hand “ we shall” he twirls me about childishly as we dance having fun

rhaenas lip curls and she walks to cregan sitting next to him “ why don’t you do something about them” she looks at him an angry twinge present in her voice “ I want my wife to enjoy herself and I see no harm in letting her dance with her twin” he doesn’t even look at her his eyes fixed on us a smile still on his face as he sees how I dance so happily and freely not even notice when rhaena gets up

She walks towards me pushing me away from Luce the music suddenly stops suddenly cregan rises from his seat ready to jump in to protect me “ you are always stealing him from me he is my betrothed mine and now you’re a married woman but you still steal him from me” she yells at me tears welling in her eyes as she strucks me down to the ground I hold my cheek that is tending from the blow my face a look of shock “ how dare you talk to me like that how dare you lay your hands on me” i rise back to my feet my pride taking over as I slap her with my full strength my eyes full of fury “ are you that stupid to not see that I love my brother as a brother I am not trying to get in his bed” she stares at me in disbelief “ now if you do not mind I wish to enjoy my wedding celebration if you can not enjoy it you can leave” I point to the door she looks at Luce wanting him to stand up for her but he shakes his head staying by my side as she storms off. “ let the music play have drinks have fun what is a wedding without a few family problems “ I jest a kind smile spreading across my face as we go back to dancing and the celebration continues into the night.

As I get exhausted from dancing with the northerners and my brothers I rush back to cregan sitting in his lap resting my head against his chest “ you still haven’t danced with me” I look up at him with big eyes it makes him smile “ I will soon I promise “he rests his chin on top of my head as I take a swig of wine “ this reminds me of the celebrations that would take place in kings landing” I rest my head back against him remembering how much fun we all used to have “before the war and even before Aemond lost his eye we would all dance and play sneaking wine out of our parents cups” I giggle “ twas such fun” I lets out a sigh “ it is a shame this war had to ruin such a thing” he kisses my head holding me closer in his embrace “ you’re trying to guilt trick me” i giggle looking up at him “ is it working “ he chuckles “ maybe” I rise from his lap dragging him up to come dance.

We dance for hours cregan pulling me into his strong arms as he twirls me around towards him I rest my head on his chest as we slowly dance I look up at him a smile on my face “ thank you for becoming my husband “ he scoffs at me “ you’re so beautiful and kind I’m grateful to have you as my wife” I blush as he leans down kissing me passionately “ it is getting late perhaps we should retreat to our chamber” he looks down at me smirking suggestively “ we shall” I giggle kissing him more “ we may return to the celebrations later if you wish” he says gentle as we walk towards the door of the hall “ let’s see how this goes first my love” he nods letting me take his arm as we walk out.

As we reach our chamber the large wooden doors open as we enter the room is much larger than the chambers I had occupied prior the fire is burning and the room is lit up with an assortment of candles there are tapestries across the walls depicting stories of hunting along side wolves and this history of the starks in the centre of the room is a large four poster bed with piles of fur blankets on it to keep the cold out

Cregan kisses my neck gently his rough stubble tickling me slightly as I lean back into his touch my breath hitched in pleasure as his hands move to undo the laces of my dress “ my beautiful wife” he mutters against my neck a blush riding to my cheek as my dress falls from my body and pools around my feet I let him see me as I am turning to face him his eyes wander across my frame a smile on his face “ aren’t you gonna join me in such a vulnerable state cregan” I look up at him giggling I reach to undo his trousers, loosen the furs and remove his leathers leaving him in his breaches and me in my small clothes “ do you like what you see my love” I tilt my head as he raises his eyebrow at me he suddenly picks me up throwing me over his shoulder giggles and squeals escape me as he places a firm slap against my ass “ you’re mine my love all mine” he chuckles as he throws me down onto the cushioned bed “ i want you to say it” he orders looking at me “ say what my lord husband “ i giggle teasingly

“ you are mine” his voice is low and gruff as he moves his hand down my underwear running his fingers through my soaked folds making me gasp slightly “ so wet “ he coos moving his fingers to my pearl rubbing it circles making me moan more he sits up suddenly pulling my small clothes off as he pulls my legs over his shoulders taking his place between my thighs he kisses down my lower stomach soon taking my clit into his mouth sucking in it then using his hand he slips two fingers inside of me moving them in and out at a rough pace taking what he wants causing a desperate whine to escape me my legs quivering slightly as he slowly becomes rougher grazing his teeth over my clit my breath hitching more as he pounds his fingers into me hitting the deepest spots I didn’t even know existed. I grip onto his head scrunching fistfuls of his hair as I push myself against his tongue moaning so loudly that the people out side the room can probably hear me. I can feel the knot in my stomach tightening more and more as my body starts to quiver “ cregan~” I moan out my eyes rolling back as I scream out my whole body shaking as I release over his tongue and fingers I hear a satisfied grunt come from cregan as he laps up my juices.

He pulls away moving up the bed laying next to me he wraps his arms around me drawing patterns on my bare skin as I continue to tremble panting to catch my breath. “ you alright my love” he looks down at me I roll into his embrace burying my head into his chest “ i feel all overstimulated” he chucked at me kissing my head “ are you ok to continue” he raises his eyebrow slightly I nod looking up at him “ use your words sweetling” he runs his hand over my cheek cupping it gently “ I’m alright “ my voice is quiet and slightly shaky as I finally managed to steady my breathing.

I lean up kissing cregan passionately I mumble against his lips “ I’m ready “ he smirks at me as he unties his breaches and letting me see everything I stare at his solid member and back up at him “ I promise to be gentle “ he kisses my forehead head as I lay back down on the bed he moves my legs to be as spread as they can he as he leans to be on top of me he lines himself up slowly letting his length slip into my entrance making a long uncomfortable whine escape my lips he strokes my hair gently“ shhh it’s ok you’re doing so well” he coos slowly pushing more into me till he’s at the hilt making more sound to escape me and tears to well in my eyes he keeps stroking his hand through my hair and down my cheek “ you’re doing so well” he kisses me gently as he allows me adjust to the new sensation and waiting for the sting to fade.

A few minutes pass I look up at him “ I’m gonna start to move “ he slowly starts to thrust moving at a slow pace I grip onto the bed sheets as he thrusts I let out small moans as the sting fades completely being replaced with pleasure he keeps thrusting at this slow pace as I rest my head back moans echoing through the room “ faster cregan please~” I beg as he places kisses on my neck leaving a dark purple mark as his pace changes to a faster rougher one.

I rip my hands off the bed sheets and grip onto his back digging my nails in leaving long red scratches as I grip onto him his low grunts and growls escaping him as he pounds harder into me my moans getting loud and loud as my mind suddenly goes black and foggy I wrap my legs around him letting him get deeper into me as he thrusts everything he has into me his pubic bone causing friction against my clit causing everything to get lost in the moment I lean up kissing him passionately our moans mixing together escaping with ever breath he can feel every thigh tightening around him as I start to reach my peak “ such a good girl~” he praises as my nails grip harder into his back enough to tear through the skin as I moan out his name he keeps his ruthless pace pounding harder and deeper animalistic growls leaving his lips as I bite down on his bottom lip when he hits my g spot and I gasp out letting go of his lip as I start babbling nonsense as I try to form words the only thing I can get out is “ PLEASE~YES~” as he abuses the spot inside me my legs start to feel like jelly and I feel everything tightening more “ you gonna cum~” he asks me through gruff groans I simply nod my moans changing pitch as a smirk grows on his face pounding harder

“ FUCK~” I scream out feeling everything snap and my release washes over me my whole body shaking as I throw my head back moaning so loud everyone can hear he keeps pounding into me both fucking me through my high and trying to get his release as my walls pulse around him he lets out a long grown as he spills his seed deep with in me the warmth spreading through me as he thrusts deep into me both of us pant desperately to catch our breath he leans down kissing my cheek “ you did so well” he soon pulls out rolling to the side of me pulling me into his arms holding me “ I’m yours cregan 100% yours” I pant out closing my eyes letting the passion of the moment last as long as it can as I let my self rest on his chest for a while.

———————————————————————

When I wake up a few hours later I’m alone cregan must have gone back to the celebration not to long ago because his side of the bed was still warm I get up my legs still wobbly and unsteady as I get my dress back on I look in the mirror seeing the dark purple marks on my neck and shoulders I smile to myself as I wash my face and tie the laces of my dress back up before making my way down to the hall my brain still fogged as I open the door I see cregan drinking and talking to my brothers laughing together as I walk over to him.

I settle myself down on his lap resting my head on him not wanting to interrupt their conversation but cregan looks down at me running his hand through my hair “ you ok my love you still look quite exhausted “ I burry my head into him “ you left me so I came to find you” I grumble quietly it makes him chuckle “ i was just showing your brothers what you did to my back” I look up at him raising my eye brow “ what did I do” I tilt my head smirking slightly as he pulls the furs away slightly showing off deep red bloodied scratches going down his back “ you’re quite feisty sister” Jace jests looking at me “ look what you did to my neck and shoulders lord husband “ I pull the fabric of my dress away to reveal the marks scatted across my shoulders collar bones and neck “ at least we know you both enjoyed yourself “ Luce looks at me laughing “ I’m sure you two will be uncles soon enough “ cregan smirks a smugness present in his voice as he runs his fingers through my hair as I pull my dress back up “ they’d be brilliant uncles” I smile resting my head back against cregan sleepily “ just as they’ve been amazing brothers” I look at them “ promise me you’ll visit me” I look at them both “ you’ll see so much of us here that you’ll be sick of us” Luce chuckles taking a swig of his drink “ I’ll never be sick of my brothers” I hug then both tightly “ just do not bring your betrothed” I whisper to them making them both die in fits of laughter as they lean back in their chairs.

As the evening continued i stay close to cregan as people start to leave and soon enough it’s just us and my family cregan looks at my mother as she walks up to us “ would it be ok if we stay here for the night we’ll be leaving in the morrow” she sees me cuddling up to cregan a small smile plays on her face “ of course my queen you’re welcome to stay when ever you and your family want” cregan looks at her smiling as she crouches to look at me “ you ok sweetness” she brushes some stray curls out my face I sit up and hug her “ im ok mother” she smiles and holds me in her arms “ we’re all going to bed now you should do the same” she looks at me with a motherly look as I nod “ good night mother sleep well” I smile looking at her “ sweet dreams y/n good night lord stark” she turns and walks out as Luce hugs me kissing my head “ night sister see you in the morrow” “ night brother” I smile sweetly watching as they leave to their rooms.

———————————————————————

When the sun slowly starts to rise the birds are singing loudly as I wake up I look to cregan who is sleeping so soundly as I watch him I lean down peppering kisses over his face as he opens his eyes a sleepy chuckle escaping him as he pulls me into him “ you’re happy this morning “ his voice is croaky and gravely as he looks at me “ I’m always happy “ I giggle as I kiss him passionately “ it’s so early my love why are you awake” he looks at me tilting his head “ my family is leaving this morning I want to be there to say goodbye”he nods running his hand over my head “ Jace is staying my love in the next week we’re doing a trip to the wall” I look at him sitting up on my knees with big eyes “ may I travel with you” he chuckles “ the wall is no place for a lady my love” I cut him off “ please cregan” he sighs “ fine you shall come but you must stay by my side” I nod smiling as I hug him “ thank you” I giggle as he kisses me more.

A few hours pass and we get up we a warm bath has been ran to wash in as I enter the wash room cregan is sat in there surrounded by bubbly water as let my night gown fall from me and I climb in to join him straddling his lap “ cheeky girl” he kisses my neck as I lower myself onto his now hardened cock letting it sit inside of me as we wash “ you’re still so tight and warm my love” he grumbles into my ear making me clench around his cock I lean in kissing him to muffle to quiet moans from escaping me as I move up and down slightly riding him as he grips my hips “ so needy for me~”

I giggle as he thrusts to meet my bounces as he buries his cock deep into me guiding me up and down I throw my head back as it becomes rougher his grip on my skin becoming bruising and water starts to spill over the sides of the bath as everything starts tightening and my orgasm hits unexpectedly I fall down to his chest my body shaking as he cums deep into my cunt our moans mixing together harmoniously as he holds me close in his arms still thrusting up into me fucking me through our highs. Once he pulls out we go back to cleaning each other a giggle slipping from my lips as he looks down at me “ I love you” i smile up at him face flushed holding an expression of pure passion and loyalty “ I love you more” he pulls me into a long sloppy kiss before rising from the bath giving me a hand to help me out of the water the cold Northern air hitting my skin causing it to pebble but he pulls me close his warmth protecting me from the cold.

After we are dry I’m sat on the floor infront of cregan still nude as he plays with my hair braiding it and tying it up beautifully “ what a lovely morning this is” I giggle looking up at him he places a kiss on my shoulder “ I agree” he chuckles “ come let us dress “ he helps me up slapping my ass before walking to the wardrobe pulling out his dark leathers and grey furs as well as a silvery dress with leaves embroidered onto it with black furs around the collar he passes it to me “ this is beautiful “ I look at it smiling running my hand over the details I put some small clothes on and a shift then pull my dress ontop “ can you tie the laces” I turn to him so he can lace up the back tightening them till the dress fits tight enough to my figure “ my gorgeous wife” he kisses my cheek then twirls me around smiling “ let’s go eat your family may already be there” I giggle smiling “ ok do not share to much information with my brothers this time round my lord husband “ he chuckles looking at me “ I can not promise if questions are asked” I go on my tip toes kissing him gently before he wraps his arm around my waist and we walk to the hall.

Were greeted by my family who are sat together with bowls of fruit and porridge “Sȳz tubis mandia gōntan ao enjoy aōla va aōha dīnilūks bantis” (Good morning sister did you enjoy yourself on your wedding night) lucerys walks to me wrapping his arm around my shoulder as he teases me “ Nyke gōntan kirimvose” ( I did thank you) my mother and brothers chuckle as we both sit down tucking into a bowl each “ I hope it won’t be to long till I have a grand child cregan” my mother looks at my husband a smile on her face “ trust me my queen it won’t be “ he looks at me chuckling as my face turns bright red with blush as I try to pick at my porridge to just get the fruit out “ promise to keep me updated with everything mother you too lucerys I want to know everything that happens”I look at them both “ trust me if anything important happens you and your husband will know soon enough “ my mother reassures as she stands up “ I’m going to prepare myself to fly be sure to come join me Luce once you’re done” she walks out the hall I look at my twin “ please be safe when going to storms end Luce “ I sigh as he rests his hand on my shoulder “ I’ll be as safe as possible sister “ I nod looking back down as we all continue to eat in silence.

Hours pass and my mother and Luce are both ready to leave in their flying gear I come to join them to say goodbye Jace at my side I hug Luce tightly “Gaomagon daor sagon tolī tolmiot” ( don’t be distant) i hold onto him tightly tears dripping down my face “Avy jorrāelan lēkia” ( i love you brother) I sob into him as he cuddles me “Nyke dōrī tolī tolmiot mandia” ( I’m never to far sister) he wipes my tears away he looks at Jace “ make sure he looks after her” his voice cracks slightly as tears glisten in his eyes “ I promise he will brother” Jace hugs him “ ill come home soon be safe” he turns to our mother hugging her as I soon follow “ you’re a strong girl you have the blood of the dragon burning through your veins you know what you must do as your duty to our family” I nod more tears falling as she kisses my cheek and turns to leave I grab her hand not wanting to let go like a child but Jace pulls me back holding me in his arms as they both leave on dragon back.

———————————————————————

A few weeks pass and we’re visiting the wall both me and have travel there on dragon back flying through the air with the fresh snow hitting our faces as we finally land out side the gate “Sȳrī gaomagon xylix ao sōvegon sīr sȳrī sir umbagon gīda se umbagon kesīr se nyke shall jiōragon ao nykeā hobres” (Well done xylix you fly so well now stay calm and stay here and I shall get you a goat) she tilts her head in an understanding way as I dismount her running my hand over her warm scales before Jace joins my side and we walk through the gate to meet cregan who is waiting I see him instantly a smile spreads on my face as I run to him “ you should fly with us on the way back my love you’d love it” I giggle as he brushes stray snow flakes out my hair “ I think you forgot that I have no dragon “ I look at him giggling “ no silly fly with me on xylix” he looks shocked “ let me think about it “ a disagreeable tone in his voice as he takes my hand in his as I nod smiling more.

Jace walks to us “ let us discuss lord stark” my husband nods walking along with Jace as they discuss matters of war and loyalties “ you do know my sisters love relies on the loyalty you have for my family our claim” Jace looks at cregan as he sighs “ I do understand that but winter is coming my prince we can not risk it I need my men here” he looks at Jace a small grimace on his face “ while your men guard against wildlings and weather the hightowers plan to usurp the throne if my mother is to keep her claim to hold the realm united she needs an army war is coming my lord we can not wager without the support of the north” Jace steps forward as we reach the top of the wall looking out at the nothingness ahead of us the snow falling thicker than before and the wind blowing my hair in my face as cregan holds me close “ my father brought king jaehaerys and queen Alysanne to see the wall his grace stood where we stand now and watched as their dragons refused to cross it” he pauses for a second tightening his grip on my hand as I step closer to the edge looking out “ do you think my ancestors built a 700 foot wall of ice to keep out wildlings and weather” he scoffs slightly “ what does it keep out” Jace looks curiously as they both look at each other Cregan’s tone going dark “ death” I look up in shock “ don’t say such thing I don’t want to hear it” he sighs turning to me “ you may not want to hear it but it’s the truth my sweet lady wife” I shake my head as he kisses it holding me close to him then turning his attention back to Jace “ we have thousands of grey beards who have witnessed one to many winters” his confidence is high in his voice “ they are well honed “ he looks at him as Jace speaks up “ so they’re old “ he chuckles slightly “ I can ready them to march at once “ Jace nods “ if your grey beards can fight the queen will have them “ cregan looks proud as he looks at Jace smiling slightly “ they will fight hard like northerners “ suddenly a man runs up interrupting them .

“ my lord a raven has arrived urgent news from dragonstone” he sounds out of breath as he passes a small piece of parchment to cregan his face full of concern as he opens it reading it to him self his face dropping instantly “ what’s it cregan” my voice shaking as i see the expression on his face he passes the note to Jace his face soon changes to a similar expression “ please tell me” i try snatching the note from Jace” no sister you do not wish to know “ his voice cracking slightly with emotion as I finally get it from him i read it my legs give way under me hitting the icy floor with a crunch and i let out the most agonising scream any one has heard tears streaming from my eyes “ no no no this has to be some sort of cruel joke “ I sob my hand shaking as cregan holds me “ Ñuha mijegindita lēkia ñuha beloved lēkia ñuha idaña lēkia” (My poor brother my beloved brother my twin brother) I sob uncontrollably into cregans chest my whole body limp as he tries getting me to my feet Jace just stares at me shaking as he tries to hide his emotion “Ossēninna zirȳla ossēninna aemond syt skoros ēza gaomagon” (I will kill him I will kill Aemond for what he has done) I scream out both sadness and anger suffocating me “ shhh y/n it’s ok come on let’s get home ok” he tries to comfort me but I shake my head

“ I-i must go to dragonstone” I sob uncontrollably each word coming out with a strained breath as I start having a panic attack“ you can not sister” have finally speaks up shaking his head “ you have your place here you are under mothers order to do your duty here” he takes my head in his hands “Kesan gaomagon skoros kostan naejot ōdrikagon qilōni emagon ōdrikagon īlva” (I will do what I can to hurt who have hurt us ) i rest my forehead against his “ don’t leave me too” I sob uncontrollably “ promise me” he envelopes me in a tight embrace “ I promise”.

33 notes · View notes

hrizantemy · 12 hours ago

Text

What did she deserve?

For so long, Nesta had believed she deserved nothing. Nothing but the emptiness, the isolation. She had told herself, time and again, that her existence was a mistake, a burden. What was there for her, after everything she had done? After the mistakes, the anger, the bitterness that had poisoned everything around her?

She should have died. She used to think that, with a conviction that had driven her to dark places. That the world would be better without her. That the people she had hurt, the people she had pushed away, would be better off without the weight of her presence.

It wasn’t just the memories of that time; it was the constant reminder that she had failed so many—her family, her people, even herself. When she closed her eyes, it wasn’t the laughter or the good times she remembered. It was the yelling. The coldness. The disappointment. It was the sharp sting of guilt that never seemed to fade, the feeling that she would never be enough, no matter how hard she tried.

For a long time, Nesta had thought that death was an escape. A way to end the agony of being a shadow in her own life, of being a person who only took up space. She had been so certain, so sure, that the world would be lighter without her in it.

But somewhere along the way, something shifted. A small spark of something she couldn’t name had kept her from that final step. And that spark, no matter how weak it felt at times, refused to go out.

What did she deserve?

She still didn’t have the answer, but maybe, just maybe, it was something more than silence. Something more than pain. She had a lot to make up for—she knew that. She had a long road ahead, and the journey wasn’t going to be easy, but for the first time in a long time, she felt the faintest stir of hope that maybe she was worthy of something more than she had allowed herself to believe.

Maybe she deserved to live. Maybe she deserved something like peace. Maybe she even deserved love—though she had no idea how to accept it or what it might look like. But she would find out, one step at a time. She would have to. Because what else was there to do but move forward?

At least, that’s what she told herself, even if she wasn’t entirely sure she believed it yet.

Nesta didn’t truly believe it. She couldn’t. The doubt was too deep, too ingrained in her. But that didn’t mean she stopped hearing it. Because she did hear it. She heard it every time Taryn spoke, every time she said something kind, something that didn’t come with a catch or a look of pity. Taryn’s words were always steady, always filled with conviction, as though she genuinely believed Nesta deserved something more than the endless self-loathing she had carried for years.

It wasn’t just the words themselves—it was the certainty with which they were delivered. Taryn never faltered when she spoke to Nesta, never looked away or hesitated. She said what she believed, and it was enough to make Nesta question her own narrative, the one she had crafted for so long, the one that had kept her trapped in darkness.

“You’re worth it,” Taryn would say. “You’re not broken. You’re not a mistake.”

Those words echoed in her mind, louder and louder with each passing day, as if Taryn’s belief in her was strong enough to outlast her own doubt.

But Nesta couldn’t shake the disbelief. She couldn’t imagine it was true. She had been too damaged, too far gone for too long. But still, Taryn’s words lingered, even in the silence between them. They wouldn’t let her completely forget, wouldn’t let her stop wondering if, just maybe, there was something she was missing.

Cassian’s words lingered in Nesta’s mind like an echo she couldn’t escape. “I don’t know why your sisters love you.”

She didn’t have the answer. She didn’t know why Feyre and Elain had loved her, not truly. She never understood why anyone would. She wasn’t someone worth loving, not in her eyes. Not after everything she had done, the ways she had pushed them all away, the bitterness she had held onto for so long. But then there was Taryn, and Nesta couldn’t figure that one out either.

Taryn had said it before, had told her that she loved her. She had said it with such conviction that it felt like the air around them had shifted every time. Taryn said it in the morning, with a soft smile and sleepy eyes, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She said it before bed, every night, as if she needed Nesta to hear it one more time before she could sleep. Taryn said it when Nesta was leaving, when she was walking out the door, as if there was no question that she’d be back, as if there was no reason not to. And Taryn said it when Nesta came back, with the same unshakable certainty, as though Nesta’s return was the most normal thing in the world.

It was different. So different from anything she had ever felt. Taryn spoke it with the same intensity every time, no hesitation, no doubt. As if Nesta were something to be cherished. Worshipped. Genuinely loved.

And Nesta couldn’t grasp it. She couldn’t understand it, not when she had never been able to see herself that way. How could Taryn love her like that, with such certainty? How could anyone love someone like her? But Taryn never faltered, never pulled back. She said it, again and again, as if it were truth.

Cassian’s words lingered in Nesta’s mind like an echo she couldn’t escape. “I don’t know why your sisters love you.”

Even if she didn’t say it often, Taryn knew. And Taryn would wait for the day when she could hear it again.

Nesta walked along the Sidra, her steps slow and deliberate, the bag of books swinging gently in her hand. The scent of the river mixed with the crisp evening air, and for once, she didn’t feel rushed. It had been a long day, one filled with the familiar hum of the bookstore, the rustle of pages, and the occasional, welcome silence that came when customers found their way into their own worlds.

The books she carried were new — a mix of stories she’d been meaning to read, some old classics, and others she picked up simply because they felt like something she needed in that moment. She had grown fond of reading in the quiet hours after work, when the world around her slowed down enough for her to escape into someone else’s life, someone else’s pain, someone else’s triumphs. The weight of the bag felt like a quiet reminder of how far she’d come — from the days when books had been the last thing she wanted to hold, to now, when they were one of the few things she knew could help her make sense of her own scattered thoughts.

As she walked, Nesta thought about the day. She didn’t really talk to many people at work. She liked it that way, liked the solitude that came with shelving books or helping a customer find exactly what they were looking for. It wasn’t glamorous, but it was hers. It was stable, and it was enough.

She passed the small shops along the Sidra, the ones that glowed in the evening light, their windows framed by the glow of lanterns. She didn’t stop to browse, her mind too preoccupied with thoughts that swirled like the water by her side. She thought about the life she was building, how much it had changed in the past year.

Nesta hadn’t seen Feyre or Elain since Solstice. No letters had been sent either. For a moment, she’d considered writing to them, inviting them out again, maybe to a tavern or to spend time together. But the thought faded as quickly as it came, overshadowed by the memory of all the times she had reached out before, only to be met with rejection. The silence from them had been a constant reminder of the distance that had grown between them.

To be honest, Nesta was tired. Tired of being the one to try, of always putting herself out there and never receiving what she needed in return. It felt like the weight of their absence was too much to carry, and she was done bearing it alone. She didn’t need to fight for their attention anymore.

Nesta knew she hadn’t been the easiest to deal with. She had been cruel, she admitted that to herself. Her words were sharp, biting, meant to hurt. Every time she had lashed out, it was like she was trying to keep people at a distance, even those she cared about most. She didn’t know how to show vulnerability, how to ask for what she needed without fear of being let down. So, she shut people out, and in doing so, she pushed them away.

She owed Feyre an apology, and perhaps Elain too. She hadn’t given them a chance to show they could be anything more than what she had assumed. She had seen their love and concern as pity, or worse, as a reminder of her own failures, but maybe that wasn’t fair. Maybe she had failed them by not seeing them for who they truly were, by not acknowledging their care as something pure and genuine.

Despite everything, Nesta knew she didn’t deserve the way she had been treated, not by her sisters, not by the so-called family she had. The veiled insults, the passive-aggressive comments—those had been there, hanging in the air like a cloud she couldn’t escape. When her sisters had tried to stop them, their attempts were often ignored, as if their voices didn’t matter. Yet, when she had lashed out, when she had finally reached her breaking point, it was always her fault. She was the one to blame.

But, as much as she hated to admit it, she didn’t believe she deserved that treatment. Not anymore. Taryn had told her she didn’t deserve to be treated like she was less than, like she didn’t matter. And even though Nesta had wanted to argue against it, to believe the awful things she had told herself for so long—that she had been a wretch, a leech, that she deserved every cruel word thrown her way—something inside her questioned if that was truly the case. Did she deserve to be cast aside, to be treated as nothing more than a burden? Did she?

She didn’t have the answer, not yet.

But she was trying—really trying—to be better. That had to count for something.

Nesta turned into a small café, the kind tucked away on a quieter side street, its warm glow spilling out onto the cold pavement. She hadn’t intended to stop, but something about the cozy interior called to her. She stepped inside, adjusting the bag in her hand, and stopped short.

The sight before her was unexpected.

Feyre and Elain sat at a table near the window, a pot of tea between them, soft laughter filling the air. They looked… comfortable. Unfamiliar. Their faces were relaxed, easy, not like the strained encounters she’d had with them since Solstice. It was a strange feeling—seeing them like this, without the tension, without the constant underlying friction that had always existed between them and her.

But then they saw her.

Feyre’s eyes widened in shock, her hand pausing mid-air as she had been reaching for the teapot. The moment froze. Nesta felt a quick, unbidden surge of heat flush her cheeks, but she didn’t let herself turn away.

Feyre shot up from her seat, her chair scraping against the floor, her expression a mix of surprise and something she couldn’t place. Elain looked up too, her eyes flickering between Nesta and Feyre, clearly taken aback by the sudden shift in energy.

The air thickened with silence, and Nesta stood there, her heart pounding in her chest. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for this. But there they were, in front of her, waiting. Waiting for her to say something, do something. And for a brief, flickering moment, all she could do was stand still, uncertain, not sure of how to navigate the tangled mess of emotions that had been left unresolved between them.

Feyre’s voice broke through the silence, tentative but steady. “Nesta… I didn’t expect to see you here.” Her gaze was softer than Nesta had anticipated, though there was still a hint of uncertainty, the kind that only comes from unresolved hurt.

She stepped closer, her fingers nervously clasping and unclasping in front of her. “Are you—are you alright?”

Elain remained seated, but her gaze flickered over Nesta with the same mix of surprise and caution. Feyre’s question hung in the air, waiting for Nesta to answer, and as much as Nesta wanted to pull away, to escape the sudden confrontation, a part of her longed for something—something that resembled understanding, or maybe just the faintest trace of connection.

Nesta held up the bag of books she had been carrying, her voice firm but guarded. “I was just coming in to grab a coffee,” she said, as if the simple statement could somehow shield her from the tension building between them.

Feyre’s eyes softened, but there was a hesitation there, like she wasn’t sure how to approach Nesta. “Would you… like to join us?” she asked, her words tentative, almost as if she was bracing for rejection.

Elain’s eyes were equally cautious, glancing back and forth between Nesta and Feyre. It was clear they expected her to say no, to make some excuse and leave. But instead, Nesta surprised herself. She felt a quiet defiance rising within her, the quiet strength she had nurtured in her.

“Yes,” Nesta said, her voice steady but quieter than usual. “I’ll join you.”

The surprise flickered across Feyre’s face, but it quickly shifted into something softer, almost relieved. Elain gave her a small, encouraging smile, and for a moment, the weight of all the time apart seemed to lessen, if only for this small exchange.

Nesta set the bag down by an empty seat, her back still a little tense, but she stayed, sitting down with them. She wasn’t sure where this would lead, or how she could navigate what had happened between them, but for once, she allowed herself to take a step forward instead of retreating.

Feyre took a slow breath, her eyes flicking to Nesta as if weighing her words carefully. “How have you been?” she asked, her voice gentle. “I know… during Solstice, the tension between us all was high. And Morrigan… she didn’t mean what she said. But, well, I suppose we’ve all been wondering what you’re going to do about Cassian.” She paused, hesitating for just a moment before continuing. “He… well, he’s been asking around. We all know it’s not just about the bond anymore. It’s more than that.”

Elain’s gaze flickered briefly to Feyre, but she remained quiet, allowing the conversation to unfold.

Nesta could feel her jaw tighten, her thoughts swirling. She had expected this conversation, even if she didn’t know exactly how it would unfold. Cassian. Always Cassian. It had been a constant presence, even in her silence, and she had grown weary of it, of him.

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” Nesta replied, her voice steady but her eyes sharp, like she was holding something back. “It’s not just Cassian’s decision, or anyone’s. I’ve had to figure things out for myself, in my own time.”

Feyre nodded, understanding but also concerned. “I know. But we’re still your sisters, Nesta. And Cassian… he’s never stopped caring. He wants to fix things with you.”

Nesta’s gaze shifted from Feyre to Elain, her eyes narrowing slightly. She leaned forward, her voice steady but sharp. “And why don’t you have the same attitude about Lucien? You and Feyre are always telling me to fix things with Cassian, to put the past behind us. But I don’t see you two getting scolded about fixing things with Lucien. I mean, how many times have we seen the lingering stares between you and Azriel? But you don’t hear people demanding that you make amends with him, do you?”

Feyre’s face flushed with discomfort, and she shifted in her seat, clearly unprepared for Nesta’s accusation. She opened her mouth, closed it again, then sighed heavily, running a hand through her hair. “That’s different,” she muttered, clearly struggling to find the right words. “It’s not the same, Nesta.”

Elain, who had been silent until now, looked down at her tea, her hands nervously clasping around the cup. She didn’t want to be dragged into the comparison, but Nesta’s words had hit a nerve.

Elain stumbled, unsure of how to explain herself. “Well… because Lucien… and we’re… trying to understand everything, and… we’re still figuring things out. You know? With him being bonded to me and all.”

Nesta didn’t blink. “And so you think that makes it okay? That it excuses the double standard? Or is it just because it’s easier to focus on me, to point out everything I’ve done wrong?”

The air around the table felt thick, as if the tension between them had somehow gotten heavier with every word spoken. Feyre seemed at a loss, glancing at Elain for some kind of backup, but Elain remained quiet, still not meeting Nesta’s eyes.

“You know, I’m tired of the constant expectation that I have to be the one to fix things, that I’m the problem,” Nesta continued, her voice quieter now, though still tinged with frustration. “You’re both allowed to make mistakes, but somehow when I do, it’s a reflection of everything wrong in this family.”

Feyre bit her lip, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation, but her gaze softened with guilt. “That’s not what we meant, Nesta. It’s just… we want you to be happy. And we don’t want you to carry all of that weight alone anymore.”

Nesta sighed deeply, her shoulders slumping as the weight of her words pressed on her. She shook her head, looking at both of them, and for a moment, she felt like a stranger to herself. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, almost too quietly for them to hear. The words tasted bitter on her tongue, but they were true. She hadn’t expected to say them.

She looked directly at Feyre, her heart aching in a way that made her throat tighten. “I’ve been cruel to you,” Nesta said softly, the sincerity in her voice unmistakable. “I hated myself, and I took it out on you. You always tried to care for us, to take care of everything when Father wouldn’t. And I… I couldn’t stand it. I resented you for it.”

Feyre’s expression softened, her eyes filling with an understanding that made Nesta feel even more vulnerable. She wasn’t sure she deserved that understanding, but Feyre’s gaze didn’t waver, and it made Nesta feel both small and incredibly exposed at the same time.

“I didn’t know how to handle it,” Nesta continued, her voice rough. “How you just took on everything. And I… I didn’t want to depend on anyone, especially you. But I shouldn’t have been so cruel. I should’ve tried to understand.”

For a moment, the air between them felt heavy again, but this time it wasn’t from tension. It was something more fragile, like a crack in a wall that had been there for too long.

Nesta turned her gaze to Elain, her heart heavy as she watched her sister. She hadn’t expected this conversation to go the way it had, but now, with Feyre’s understanding, it felt right to do this. It felt right to face what she had been avoiding for so long.

“I’m sorry, Elain,” Nesta said, her voice quieter this time, almost unsure. “I never expected anything from you. I thought you would always stay the same, that you’d always be… the one who would just stay in the background, waiting for everything to pass. I never really saw you—saw who you are now. I was wrong.”

Elain’s expression softened, her eyes wide as she looked at Nesta. She had always been the more gentle, the more patient one, and Nesta had never truly acknowledged that. She had always taken her for granted, assuming Elain’s kindness was constant and unchanging.

“You’ve changed, Elain,” Nesta continued, her voice thick with emotion. “And I didn’t give you credit for it. I should’ve seen that you’ve been through your own struggles, your own growth, and I haven’t been there for you the way I should’ve been.”

For a moment, there was silence. Elain’s face softened, but there was still a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. Nesta hadn’t expected instant forgiveness—she didn’t deserve that. But the weight of her apology hung between them, genuine and real.

Nesta straightened, her shoulders stiffening as she looked at both her sisters. Her apology felt like it had been a long time coming, but there was something else—something she needed to make clear.

“That’s all I’m sorry for,” Nesta said, her voice firm. “But there are only two of you I owe anything to. Feyre’s family, your mate—” She shook her head, frustration bubbling in her chest. “I can’t for the life of me understand why I’m made to feel like I owe them something.”

Feyre opened her mouth to respond, but Nesta cut her off, her emotions running high.

“Why am I supposed to walk on eggshells because of their pasts? Their pain? I didn’t cause it. I didn’t do anything to them. Why should I be the one to tiptoe around them, to make them feel comfortable? What happened to them had nothing to do with me.”

Feyre’s gaze softened, but she still looked conflicted. She exhaled slowly before speaking, her voice quiet but steady. “It’s not that simple, Nesta. It’s just… how they live, how they’ve always lived. Their backgrounds, especially Morrigan’s—it’s not an excuse, but it’s the reality. They come from places where those wounds run deep, and sometimes… sometimes they want to protect each other, to make sure no one repeats the mistakes of the past.”

Nesta’s chest tightened at the mention of Morrigan, but her anger hadn’t dissipated. She didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to keep explaining herself, apologizing, for something that felt like it wasn’t her fault.

“Protect each other?” Nesta said, bitterness creeping into her voice. “By treating me like I’m the one who needs to change, the one who needs to make amends? I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t ask for them to judge me for something I wasn’t even part of. And I’m tired of being made to feel like I’m the one who’s supposed to fix things that have nothing to do with me.”

Elain shifted in her seat, and Feyre sighed, looking at Nesta with a deep sadness in her eyes. “It’s not about fixing, Nesta. It’s about understanding each other, trying to heal as a family. They can’t just… ignore the things that have happened. We all carry those scars in one way or another.”

“But I’m not them,” Nesta shot back, the sharpness in her voice echoing. “I’m not their past. I’m not their family’s mistakes. And I’m tired of carrying their burdens too.”

Nesta sighed, the weight of everything she’d said settling in her chest. She didn’t come here to rehash old wounds, to argue, or to dig into the past. She came for something different. But she could feel it—this unspoken distance still hanging between them.

She stood, brushing a hand through her hair as she glanced at both Feyre and Elain. “I didn’t come here to talk about this,” she said softly, the exhaustion in her tone barely contained. Her gaze softened for a moment before she met their eyes again. “I really do need to go.” She forced a weak smile, a smile that barely felt like hers, more of a pale imitation.

“I wish you both a good day,” Nesta continued, her voice quieter, as if offering a peace she didn’t quite believe herself. She took a step back, her hand resting lightly on the chair, her eyes lingering on Feyre and Elain for just a moment longer before she spoke again. “I assume, by the lack of letters, that you won’t be coming to the tavern anytime soon.”

Feyre’s face softened, her brow furrowing as if she wanted to say something, but Nesta’s words had already pushed her back. “Elain… she’s still uncomfortable there,” Feyre said, a hint of regret in her voice. “But… maybe we could all have dinner together at the river house? Even Taryn could come along, if you’d like.”

Nesta’s smile faltered immediately. She looked down at the ground for a moment, feeling the weight of her thoughts pull her deeper into herself. “I appreciate the invitation,” she said, forcing the words out through a tight throat. “But… I think Feyre, Elain—you’re the only ones I would want to see there. And I understand they’re your friends, really, but they’re not… mine.”

She took a deep breath, as if trying to steady the shaking in her hands. “Perhaps we could have dinner another time,” Nesta said, her voice a little firmer now. “You two could come over. But… the invitation is really only extended to you.” She met Feyre and Elain’s eyes, her expression soft but resolute.

Then, without another word, she turned and walked toward the door, her footsteps steady as she left the café behind.

As Nesta stepped outside the café, the cool breeze greeted her, and for the first time in what felt like a long while, she found herself smiling. It wasn’t a wide smile, but it was there—soft and genuine, a fleeting moment of peace she hadn’t known she was capable of. The tension in her chest had eased just a bit, the weight of everything she’d been carrying seeming a little lighter.

She hadn’t expected to feel this way. She hadn’t expected to feel anything but exhaustion and frustration when she walked in. But now, with the air around her and the quiet buzzing of the city, she couldn’t help but feel like she had taken another small step forward. Maybe she hadn’t fully figured out everything yet—maybe there were still things left unsaid—but she was moving.

And that was enough for now.

#anti acosf #anti acotar #anti feysand #anti inner circle #anti rhysand #nesta archeron deserves better #pro nesta #anti azriel #anti cassian #anti amren #anti nessian #anti morrigan #anti night court #sapphic nesta

21 notes · View notes

peachhcs · 14 hours ago

Note

Can you do a lil blurb of Sammy and will still crushing on each other even though they’ve been in a relationship for a while now (like from the start of it to now). Like they still get memorized by each other to this day and it’s just too cute

waittt yesss samy and will still have such a “honeymoon” stage relationship and are always trying to find ways to “wow” one another because they’re just both so in love with one another. like it’s such a playful relationship of continuously crushing on one another and being shocked that they even pulled one another still ahaha

(btw i just got back to school which means i won’t be as active but i promise i see all of your requests!!! i’m posting this to hold you all over until i can get to them :))

au masterlist

when samy got a text from will earlier that day telling her to dress up when he got back from practice because he had something planned, she couldn’t deny the little skip her heart did reading the text nor the smile on her lips.

it was the way he wrote it and added a bunch of cute little emojis that made her swoon just a little bit. he had practice today, so say busied herself doing things in downtown san jose. she was starting to become a regular and a pro at navigating the city without will. now, she wondered what exactly her boyfriend could have going on him his mind that wanted her dressed up.

samy got back to the house and searched her suitcase for something that screamed “dressed up.” she never usually packed a lot, only really trying to stick to basics, so she was struggling and believing that what she packed wasn’t dressy enough. samy should’ve known will would do something like this.

with what she had, the soccer player threw together something that she hoped met what will had in mind. the long, pink satin skirt fell to her ankles and sat at her hips and the white crisscrossed tank top that hugged her midsection and left her lower stomach open screamed dressy enough. at least the floor length satin skirt was dressy. the girl stood in the bathroom touching up her makeup when her phone buzzed again and her boyfriend’s name lit up the screen.

WILL <3

when you’re ready come outside :)

she smiled at his message, hurrying to finish her mascara and add a touch more of lip gloss. samy stuffed her purse with her essentials, shoved her feet into her sands wedges, and then headed down the stairs to the front door where will supposedly was. her stomach was doing little somersaults as she pulled open the door and her eyes widened when she saw will dressed in a nice button down and shorts leaning against his car holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand. samy’s cheeks heated up as she slowly descended down the steps.

“hi,” the blonde grinned, eyes drinking in her outfit and his own cheeks heated up seeing how pretty she looked.

“will, what is this?” samy grew confused when he handed her the beautiful blue, purple, and pink flowers. she smelled them, the scent of fresh flowers filling her senses.

“just a little something for my girl,” the hockey player hummed, snaking his hand around her waist and thumbing the open skin on her hip.

“you’re so sweet. these are gorgeous,” she beamed, leaning up to peck his lips.

“get in, there’s more surprises,” will urged which just made samy even more confused, but she hurried around to the other side to climb in.

“what do you have planned?” she giggled catching the glint in the boy’s eyes and his mischievous grin.

“you’ll see. it’s a surprise,” will argued.

they rolled out the driveway and will wouldn’t say anything else, so the girl was left to wonder until they got to their destination. the hockey player reached his right hand over to squeeze her thigh, a soft smile on his lips. samy quickly latched their fingers, squeezing back and looking over to admire how good will looked. his curls were a bit damp from the shower he took after practice, but they were the perfect amount of wet and dry that they fell perfectly on his head samy just wanted to reach out and touch them, but she didn’t because will probably styled them just how he wanted them. instead, her heart fluttered again when he began rubbing his thumb across his hand.

it was a small gesture, but it was one that made samy giddy with excitement still anytime will did it. she felt like such a teenager on her first date right now with the unknown of not knowing where it was or what it was, but the butterfly nerves both of them were feeling and sharing.

when they got on the main drag and will started driving in the direction of santa cruz, she guessed it had something to do with the beach because why else would they go to santa cruz? she kept trying to find his eyes and get him to drop a hint, but will was really good at keeping his face set and secrets in.

“how was practice?” samy broke the silence because she still wanted to talk to will and hear his voice after not seeing him all day.

“it was good. we ran some plays and did a few technique practices,” the boy explained and the girl smiled.

“feeling ready for the game tomorrow?”

“i think so, yeah. it should be a good game,” will agreed which was the first time he’s said that in awhile, so samy was glad to hear that. she let him know that by squeezing his palm.

“what about you? how was your day? buy anything cute?” will turned the conversation to her and she flushed.

“it was good. i walked around downtown and just window shopped. i didn’t buy anything. i don’t know if i have money to buy anything right now,” the girl admitted with a laugh.

“if you saw something, tell me and i’ll buy it for you,” will was quick to cut in and her face flushed

“will, i can’t ask you to do that.”

“then don’t ask, i’m already doing it,” he beamed and the girl just rolled her eyes playfully. it would be a miracle if will had any money left after spending all of it on her.

“well, i didn’t really see anything i wanted, so you’re in the clear for now,” the youngest hughes joked.

“you act like it’s a burden for me to buy you things,” the blonde rolled his eyes back.

“don’t forget our roots. you never would’ve bought me something willingly when we were 12,” samy teased with a small chuckle. younger samy and will were such enemies back then, it was hard to believe this was how they were now.

when they pulled into the parking lot samy wondered what will was getting from the back that she wasn’t supposed to look at yet. she stood away from the car like will instructed just waiting for him to tell her what they were doing for the night. she couldn’t lie about the excitement bubbling in her system because will had always been the best at planning these little surprises.

“okay, you can look,” will said and samy spun around.

her boyfriend had a picnic basket slung on his arm, a beach blanket, and a bottle of wine in his hands. the girl’s eyes widened as a large smile crept its way to her lips.

“oh my god, will,” she gushed and the blonde just loved seeing that smile on his girlfriend’s lips.

“how do you feel about a sunset picnic on the beach?” he grinned back.

“i love you,” samy reached up to place a sweet kiss to his lips before letting him lead them down to the warm sand.

luckily, it wasn’t too crowded as they found a spot far away enough that the tide wouldn’t get them wet. samy watched as will opened the basket and pulled out two wine glasses and then the entire grocery store—he seriously must’ve bought all of the pastries, deserts, and appetizers.

“where’d you even get all of this stuff?” samy wondered as she helped lay it out around them.

“the basket is christina’s. i pitched the idea to her last night and she was very much on board. the beach blanket is mack’s. i got the food at the grocery store after practice,” will beamed feeling pretty proud of himself for doing this and it really was worth it to see the smile on samy’s lips.

“and the wine?” she raised her eyebrow.

“eklund.”

“ah, makes sense. well, this is really sweet, will. you wow me,” the girl giggled.

“you wow me too. thought we could have a little date since it’s been so busy lately and i probably won’t see you for awhile after this,” will admitted and a soft smile fell on both of their lips.

they dug into the food and the wine. for being best friends their whole lives, they never seemed to ever run out of things to talk about. samy and will talked about everything and anything while they ate and got (mainly samy because will had to drive home eventually) somewhat wine drunk. they talked about college and everything samy didn’t tell will over facetime. will talked about his teammates and if he could assign them a shred character who would they be. they talked about next summer and where they think they’d be besides the lake house. samy teased will about how much the fans loved his and mack’s friendships and how she was getting replaced (no one could ever replace samy in will’s mind).

by the time they covered all of their bases, two hours had passed and the food was nearly all gone. the sun was almost all the way set below the horizon for the night, but the lights from the town above kept the beach lit for them.

samy was laying on will’s chest. her head found a place over his heart where she listened to its steady rhythm. will’s arm was hooked securely around her waist, still thumbing the open skin between her skirt and shirt. now they were just admiring the starts starting to come out as the sky grew darker and the sun disappeared. it was so perfect.

“did i tell you how beautiful you look?” will mumbled making samy look up at him. he peered down at her while she peered up at him, a soft smile finding its way to her lips.

“you may have mentioned it,” she stroked her thumb over his chest where some of the buttons on his shirt were undone and exposed his toned muscles.

“well, you look really beautiful. you had me speechless when i saw you come out,” the hockey player said making samy blush from the bottom of her neck to the tips of her ears. those compliments would always get her no matter how many times will said them.

“you’re just saying that,” she mumbled.

“i’m not. you make me speechless a lot,” the blonde mumbled.

“you make speechless too. you look pretty handsome yourself. i didn’t know you had these clothes hiding at practice,” she half joked.

“i grabbed them before i left. been thinking about being here with you all day,” will used his other hand to thumb some of samy’s loose strands of hair away from her face.

they gazed into one another’s eyes as the moment closed in around them and it was just samy and will in their own little world.

“how’d i get so lucky?” samy muttered quietly.

“you tell me. how’d i get so lucky?” the boy echoed her words.

“would you have guessed we’d start dating when we were 12?” the girl giggled and will rolled his eyes lightly.

“you’re back to this huh?”

“i’m just saying. we hated each other so much when we were 12 and now we’re confessing our love to one another on a beach,” it just made samy laugh that this ended up being their fate even though she would never ask to change any of it.

“i mean i did have a crush on you when were 12, so it’s not that far off,” will shrugged with a small smile.

“what? you did?” this was news to the soccer player.

“i mean we were 12 and like having those weird phases and moods where we were first developing feelings..i don’t know, but yeah kind of. maybe that was why i was so mean to you because i didn’t know why i was feeling that way towards you. it eventually faded obviously until we got older,” the blonde laughed.

“wow, i didn’t even know that. i just genuinely disliked you.”

“alright,” will mumbled, but samy pushed herself up to peck his lips.

“i couldn’t imagine anything different though. i love you so much,” the brunette beamed. god, will loved that smile so much, especially when he was the cause.

“i love you a lot, samy. you’re my girl forever,” he wrapped both arms around her torso and held her ad close as he could even though they were already as close as they could be.

“you’re mine forever,” she kissed his chest before turning her gaze back to the stars that were now shining brightly above them in all their glory.

51 notes · View notes