#i love when these things fall into place tbh...
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plot ── tasked with interviewing actor drew starkey about his latest movie, you unintentionally steal the spotlight, leaving him blushing and lost for words under your mesmerizing gaze.
content ── reader being toooo pretty that drew is just like woah, drew being so observant ugh love him, reader not even trying to get his attention at all but ure just so alluring to him
authors note ── yea FUCK my series even tho i made that poll tbh im just so unmotivated. i saw this pic of drew n had some ideas for this lil oneshot of reader interviewing him post-premiere or something and him literally falling in love n reader noticing the little things n he becomes soheart eyes for u omg
you were a little nervous, to say the least. it was supposed to be a one-on-one interview, which somehow felt more intense than group ones with an entire cast. at least in those, the attention wasn’t entirely on you. but now? now it was just you and drew starkey, a handful of questions, and an awkwardly large camera crew standing just out of frame, watching everything. no pressure, right?
your boss had insisted that this interview focus on drew’s performance in his latest film. fair enough, but it also meant no backup—no costar to bounce off of or share the spotlight. it felt intimate in a way you weren’t entirely comfortable with, no matter how many times you’d done this. at the end of the day, it was just you sitting across from a celebrity while everyone else quietly judged your ability to hold a conversation.
you had almost turned this job down when you first started, not because of the nerves (though there were plenty) but because of the sheer vulnerability of it. still, the exposure wasn’t bad, and the paycheck? even better.
as you stepped into the room, clipboard in hand, the tension in your chest tightened just a bit. drew starkey, an actor you were only somewhat familiar with, sat casually in his chair. outer banks, hellraiser, the other zoey—you’d done your homework, skimming through his projects like your career depended on it. because, well, it kind of did. and he was . . . well, better looking in person, if that was even possible. the kind of face that made you forget you had questions to ask in the first place.
meanwhile, drew had been at this for hours. interviews were basically part of the job, but after a while, they all blended together. same questions, same conversations, just with different faces. he was tired but not miserable, holding onto the thought of dinner plans with some friends later that night.
interviews weren’t bad—he liked the connection when it happened, like the guy he was first interviewed by had laughed when he cracked a joke—but there was only so much charm drew could muster after a full day of talking about himself and the same film.
when you walked into the room, he barely glanced up at first. another assistant, probably, or someone from the crew running around to keep things moving. he didn’t pay much attention until you stopped right in front of him, introducing yourself and the network you worked for, arm extended for a handshake.
his gaze flicked to yours, and for a moment, he forgot how to move, but he pulled himself together quickly, or at least he hoped it looked that way. he shook your hand, smiling the kind of easy, practiced smile he’d perfected over the years, but there was something a little shaky in his voice when he said, “nice to meet you.”
he sat back down, reminding himself to focus. you were a professional. he was a professional. this was just another interview. but it was hard to ignore the way his heart picked up every time you looked at him like that—focused, curious, maybe even a little nervous yourself. he wasn’t sure what it was about you, but for the first time that day, he couldn’t wait for the next question.
his hand went to his earlobe almost instinctively, a nervous habit he hadn’t really noticed until now. yeah, you were . . . stunning, in the kind of way that made him feel like he should stand up straighter or check his hair. if someone had told him you were a celebrity, he wouldn’t have questioned it. but the fact that you were here to interview him? that just felt unfair.
but the interview was smooth, the kind he’d done a hundred times before. the questions were predictable again, circling around the same themes: his character, the challenges of filming, the energy on set. drew answered easily, slipping into that familiar rhythm, but every so often, his focus wavered—not on the questions, but on you.
you glanced down at your list, scanning it for the next prompt, and then back up at him with those eyes. god, those eyes. drew swore they could make anyone feel like they were the only person in the room, even though he knew there were at least ten crew members just beyond the cameras.
he noticed it, though—how bored you seemed, even if you were too professional to let it show. your smile was polite, your tone unwavering, but every now and then, you hesitated just slightly before asking him a question, like you were already tired of the script you’d been given.
and then there was him, barely able to hold eye contact. it was almost embarrassing when he caught himself smiling at you, just a small, almost shy curve of his lips, but it was enough for you to pause, tilting your head slightly as if you were studying him.
"are you okay?" you asked softly, your own lips quirking into a smile that practically knocked the wind out of him.
it was such a simple exchange, but drew could feel the heat creeping up his neck. “yeah. yeah, i’m . . . awesome,” he managed, clearing his throat and looking away for half a second before his eyes found their way back to yours. he had to play it off, had to stay professional, but the way you smiled back at him, like his answer had made your day a little brighter? it felt like a win. still, he reminded himself: there was only so much time left. you were on a clock, and he couldn’t afford to waste it, even if you made it almost too easy to get distracted.
you just laughed, accepting his answer, but the moment lingered. your smile lingered. and the questions rolled on, one after another. nothing groundbreaking, but you kept it light, adding just enough to make it feel like a conversation. drew appreciated that. but eventually, after a particularly shared laugh—he couldn’t even remember what the joke had been—he leaned in slightly, his voice carrying a hint of playful curiosity.
“okay, so what did you think about the movie?” he asked, a smile tugging at his lips. it caught you off guard; he could tell by the way your posture shifted, your pen stilling over your notes.
and then you started talking.
at first, it was simple—a few observations, some praise for the direction, the performances. but the more you went on, the more animated you became, your voice lifting slightly, your words flowing effortlessly. you dove deep, unraveling moments and emotions from the film like you’d been holding them in since the premiere. drew leaned back, one hand resting against his chin as he watched you, utterly mesmerized.
you talked about the subtlety of his character, how his guarded exterior felt like a shield hiding something raw and vulnerable. you mentioned the tension between the characters—the way their connection felt like a push-and-pull dance neither could fully commit to but couldn’t walk away from either. you dissected the music, the cinematography, how it all wove together like a symphony of yearning and restraint.
and the way you talked about his performance . . .
you didn’t gush, which he appreciated, but your words were thoughtful, specific. you spoke about his quiet expressions, the way he held so much in his body language—the hesitation in his glances, the way his character seemed to pull back just when you thought he’d lean in. it was like you’d been watching with a magnifying glass, picking apart moments even he hadn’t considered.
he couldn’t stop himself from grinning. not just because you liked the movie, though that didn’t hurt, but because it was you. you, sitting across from him, completely unaware of how captivating you looked while tearing apart his work in the best possible way. if someone had asked him to focus on anything other than the way you gestured, your fingers brushing lightly against the edge of your clipboard, or the way your lips curved when you spoke, he would’ve failed miserably.
drew just sat there, watching you, and he couldn’t help but smile. you weren’t just pretty—you were sharp, insightful, and clearly so much more than the routine questions your clipboard suggested.
“you’re good at this,” he said when you finally paused for a breath, and he meant it. but he couldn’t help the slight teasing edge in his tone, the way his smile softened just a little as his eyes met yours again.
#drew#drew starkey#drew starkey x you#drew starkey smut#drew starkey blurb#drew starkey fic#drew starkey fanfic#drew starkey fanfiction#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey imagine#drew x you#drew blurb#drew smut#drew fic#drew imagine#drew fanfic#drew fanfiction
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I keep bothering u for homicipher stuff I’m so sorry 😭
But imagine trying to fold laundry but Mr. Crawling is all >:( abt it bc he wants to cuddle you on top of the fresh warm pile of clothes so u give in and take a lil nap 🥹
It’s absolutely fine! I need my dose of homicipher tbh at this rate.
You were just trying to get things done in yours and Mr Crawling’s shared living space, but Mr crawling seemed to have something against this attempt at productivity, for he would either hide it somewhere you couldn’t find anywhere or just do his best impression of a spoilt dog who’s acting like he doesn’t get fed just so you could cuddle and take a nap with him.
A neat little trick that he’s learned quite recently works wonders in his favour.
The very same trick that he was using on you right now as you worked diligently in folding clothes on yours and Mr Crawling’s bed and putting them on their designated piles. You were focused so intently of your folding that you almost didn’t feel the arms at your waist until you felt Mr Crawling nudge his head against you, whining for your attention.
‘Sweetheart I can’t.’ You chuckled as you patted his head.
‘Cuddle. me!’ He pouts, nudging his head against you some more. In recent days mr Crawling’s efforts to communicate with you was improving, slowly but they were improving regardless. The best he got was a sentence or two but you were still extremely proud of your smart man nonetheless. ‘You can get cuddles after I’m done.’ You replied and Mr Crawling huffed as he tried to pull you away from your folding to pay attention to him, he didn’t like it when your focus was on something that wasn’t him, it made him feel things that he didn’t feel comfortable feeling.
‘Cuddle. Cuddle, cuddle.’ He chants as he lets go of your waist and proceeds to make his way onto the bed with a plan in mind as a wide, mischievous smile stretched across his lips, followed by the sound of his high pitched laughter that you’ve come to love. However that laugh was going to be your undoing for just as the word ‘no’ left your lips, Mr Crawling had already hoped up on the bed, making the piles of warm clothes fall into a massive heap as your long haired lover giggled and open up his arms to you.
‘Cuddle! Cuddle! Cuddle!’ He chants once more as he made grabby hands at you and while you tried to look annoyed by crossing your arms and huffing, you couldn’t find it in yourself to deny Mr Crawling his much needed cuddles, the very thing that you have denied him thus far in due to your recently lack of productivity. Mr crawling whines upon seeing that you weren’t cuddling him still and reached out to tug at your shirt, each tug being more desperate then the last as he tries to convey to you that he needed your touch.
‘Love me.’ Mr crawling pleaded with you as you felt your resolve break and crumble with ease as you smiled softly, taking his hand from your shirt and intertwining your fingers, as you then proceed to lay next to him in the semi-warm nest of clothing upon your bed. ‘Come get your living then sweetheart.’ You told him and Mr Crawling was already laying on your chest, holding onto you tightly, chirping softly when he could hear the comforting sound of your heart; his body relaxed atop of you when it recognised a place of safety.
You kissed his head and began stroking his back like you usually do when you cuddled, loving to hear your lover purr and express his love for you through purrs, chirps, mewls and kisses scattered across your collarbone and neck. You found yourself letting go and melting in his affection and even found yourself becoming sleepy in his embrace, its a feeling that you felt often when you cuddled up to Mr Crawling or he cuddled up to you, and it was also quite common that you become more affectionate as you were always found kissing some part of Mr Crawling -whether you knew it or not- for it just came naturally to you.
‘I love you sweetheart.’ You whispered against his head.
‘Love you too.’ Mr crawling replied softly as he drifted off to sleep, though not before planting one more kiss to your neck. You rested your head against his and stayed away for a few moments, looking at the mess you both made but decided that this would be a problem for future you, and not long after promising yourself that you’ll be productive tomorrow before falling asleep to join Mr Crawling in his dreams.
#homicipher#homicipher x reader#homicipher x you#homicipher imagine#homicipher imagines#homicipher x y/n#homicipher fluff#mr crawling#mr crawling x reader#mr crawling x you#mr crawling x y/n#mr crawling imagine#mr crawling imagines#mr crawling fluff
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Before I read any reviews and let what other, smarter people have to say about Wicked (part 1) cloud my thoughts, I will get some of them down:
It was better than I thought it would be in a lot of ways, and exactly what I expected in others.
The biggest issue is that the movie fundamentally does not trust its audience to be able to think for themselves and put the pieces together. All the jokes are explained. All the important plot beats are drawn out to the point where they lose momentum in their effort to make sure everyone is on the same page. Every emotional beat is its own movie, and it was to the production's detriment in almost every case.
An example of this (and a spoiler) - toward the end of "Defying Gravity," the song fully STOPS so that Elphaba can start to fall, continue to fall, oh no, she's falling, now time slows, and she catches her reflection in a window, and it's the reflection of her child self, and now she's emboldened to act on her own behalf and save herself and in doing so, save the helpless, unloved child she once was, but we didn't NEED any of that, and in my opinion it didn't ADD anything of real substance. I thought it was corny, tbh, and I say this as a lover of corniness, cheesiness, kitsch, and camp.
The sets were beautiful. When the first trailers dropped, I was very afraid that it would all be CGI. But the sets were real and they looked real and I loved them. EXCEPT FOR the random stone Jeff Goldblum Elphaba finds in a cave during "The Wizard and I." Speaking of...
It felt like Elphaba's solo songs, rather than being a driving force, slowed the movie to a halt. During the ensemble numbers, duets, and Galinda's songs, there's movement. Choreo, montage, a sense of direction. Both "The Wizard and I" and "I'm Not That Girl" spent long periods of time just sitting in one place. Maybe that's not a fair assessment; INTG is a contained music-box kind of song, and TWAI had some movement - we see Elphaba hopping over stones with some CGI frogs and eventually breaking out of the Wizard cave and running through a field to look over all of Oz at a cliff's edge. But why make a movie if you're not going to play around a little bit? She has a vision midway through the song, and we don't see it. We see a different vision of hers later, but her "vision almost like a prophecy" in TWAI is just some rippling colorful lights on a giant stone carving of Jeff Goldblum's head. Maybe there was an image in there, actually. I was too distracted by the giant Jeff Goldblum tbh. Someone had to sculpt that. Wild
All of the performances were fantastic. I went in ready to be a hater, but credit where credit is due: Ariana Grande was great as Galinda. Cynthia Erivo knocked it out of the park, too, but I was less worried about her
I have so many more thoughts but it's way past my bedtime and this post is already so long, so I'll say one last critical thing:
In the Broadway production, the costume design progresses through the play as Ozians wear more feathers and furs, as a way to show how attitudes toward Animals are shifting. I felt this was really missing in the movie. The designs were beautiful, but they were missing that additional thoughtful layer.
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I see colourful (usually green) waves of light flowing across my vision in various patterns. the world feels as if it is rocking under my feet. these ones always come with a sense of unity with the world, as if I am seeing some larger pattern in the universe. they also come with a lack of desire to move or react to things, as in the moment, seeing the beauty and unity of the world has made me uninterested in functioning in human society. sometimes I see very weak/non corporeal people or animals. sometimes I see childhood objects I don't have anymore sitting on a shelf in my house. they usually go away when I blink. sometimes I bump into people, apologize, and then they disappear. sometimes I see downy grey feathers emerging from my arms.
when I am very anxious, and about to have a panic attack, I always smell this scent that's like a combination of ozone and strawberries. it is hard to describe.
i often feel insects crawling all over my arms/legs but tbh i'm not sure if that's actually caused by my nerve problems or not cause it does only happen where I have nerve pain. I can feel the feathers as they grow in.
I hear the ghosts of famous confessional poets (and a few other famous writers as well at times) talking to me. they are a mix of good and bad. I've had amazing conversations with them, and they are my friends, but they are also sometimes very cruel. they all have their own issues and like to make that my problem. Plath and Sexton are the worst about it, with them at times trying to get me to kill myself. however I have also had very beautiful and complex conversations with Plath about suicide. they are like a weird aunt you love but that also gives horrible unsolicited life advice you pretend to appreciate but that you never actually follow.
I don't like when people ask me if the voices tell me to do specific things, because that feels weird and like my entire existence is being boiled down to this one thing, but also because you are giving them ideas. a friend once asked, upon hearing of my disordered eating "do the voices tell you not to eat?" and at the time the answer was no, but then a few days later, guess what they were saying to me. :/
I get milder command voices as well, that i usually follow if they are not hurting me, like taking a different route to get somewhere or putting an object in a certain place.
the voices also do not want me to tell mental health professionals about them, which is tricky.
I also get a lot of nonsense almost-talking. it sounds almost exactly like those hallucinations you get when about to fall asleep, except that i am fully awake.
rarely I have felt an earthquake happening when there isn't one.
Let's fight some of the misconceptions about hallucinations. If you have audio or visual hallucinations, either frequently or only under stress or what have you, tell me what they're like and how you deal with them.
I'll start.
My audio ones are music, or murmuring. The music is like a lively adventure 8bit tune, like old Zelda music, or a tasty guitar or bassline from another room to some rock song i can never really put together into a whole thing. The murmuring is like hearing a party in another room, people talking. Sometimes, lately more often, I'll have clips of things stuck on repeat in my head over and over. Tom Cardy's voice has been particularly invasive the last several weeks, but it's always weird because it's not accompanied by the music, it's acapella. It's just his voice.
Visual most often when it's in full swing I'll see little borrower sized shadows darting around my room or on tabletops, just fast enough I can't get a solid look at them. Other times I'll see things form out of the corner of my eye like shadows, especially in corners. If I'm in low light or have my glasses off it's more oppressive and scary feeling because I can feel and see something but not see details no matter how close it gets.
I'm pretty sure I've mentioned these all before on this blog a few times. But I can't help but feel like it's important to bring them up now and then, and to invite others to talk about theirs, so there's less stigma around it. Stigma exists because of misunderstandings and fear, and if we can erase those components then the world will be a slightly better place I think.
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HOW DO YOU NEED TO BE LOVED?
recklessly, like a horse running as fast as it can
You've been told that the way you love can never last, and that heartbreak is inevitable. But you don't want to love carefully. You want to love with reckless abandon. You want to love with everything you have, and you want to be loved the same way. You don't want them to worry about tomorrow. Make today worth living for.
deeply, like the vastness of the sea
You are a very passionate person. You feel everything so intensely, and that definitely includes love. You need someone who will match that passion, that intensity. You need someone who will care about you as much as you care about them, but you have a hard time finding that. You're usually the one who loves more, and it's sad sometimes, but it's okay. You will find someone who loves you just as much as you love them.
casually, the same way you love to breathe
You want someone who will see your favorite flower and will give it to you, without even thinking about it. You want someone who will remember all the little details about you, the things so seemingly unimportant but that matter more than you thought they did. You want someone who will still be there, thirty years down the line, holding your hand while the two of you do two separate things. You want the intimacy of being known by someone who makes you feel safe. You don't want expensive dinners or grand proposals. You want someone who will love you consistently.
carefully, like a gentle rain on dry Earth
You've been left beaten down and by someone you really trusted and loved, so now love doesn't come easy for you. You want it to. You want to love and be loved, but you're not sure you remember how. So you need someone else to take the lead. They have to be gentle and sweet and patient. They have to watch out for you, and make sure youre doing okay, because most days you feel a little fragile, if not totally shattered. But someone will come along who will put those pieces back together again.
Tagged by: @vhgr requested 'anyone but silas' so i'm choosing to misinterpret that and give you four. i actually did this for all of them... but there are only four results. some excluded bc the result didn't fit. (lumen needs to be loved.... from a great great distance, tell you that much)
Tagging: steal it! anyone who wants to. + mandatory tags for @vilestblood @eclipsedt (any!! give me the juice!), @maramcna (not sure if any of you have done it, treat this as an i love you tag)
#ohhhhhhhh ouch#oh the way these all fit...#nik with his bottomless dynamic hungry take take give give give kind of love#vanya with her head in the clouds where romance is involved. dreaming up perfection and never achieving it. setting herself up for failure#angel with his fondness of domesticity and constancy. who's tired of running and has been trying to settle into something akin to comfort#sally who lost two family members in quick succession and has been scared to love another thing since. always expecting the other shoe#i love when these things fall into place tbh...#and heads up silas would be a mix of the two middle ones.#𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 ‒ angel ║ DASH GAMES#𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 ‒ nikodemus ║ DASH GAMES#𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍 ‒ vannie ║ DASH GAMES#𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑 ‒ sally ║ DASH GAMES
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Y'know I used to always say I liked kids in person but not in theory (reverse from my feelings towards dogs) but I think I finally realised how to word it more accurately. I like kids as people, but not as a responsibility. I do not trust my ability to take care of a kid even temporarily if there's no well-adjusted adult nearby I can ask stuff and call if anything happens, but I love the passion children have for their interests, their fearlessness wrt breaking societal rules they haven't been forced to learn yet and their curiosity about almost anything that's even remotely interesting. I like children, I just don't like being given responsibilities I'm not equipped to handle
#personal#mine#not intended to be reblogged but i don't think i'd mind#and tbh basically any child that can communicate in any way (so... any child i think) is fun to hang with. babies will be so fascinated if#you show them cool things. and lbr the grabby thing is adorable. was even back when i had long hair lol#you know that 'i want a baby' texts meme where one of the partners replied 'just to hang out with?' that was for me. i don't like being#given responsibility for children but i love to just hang with them lol#i mean obviously i'll take basic responsibilities like making sure they don't fall off the balcony but ykwim#back in the place i lived temporarily for a bit there was a kid (didn't ask how old but she was in the middle of her teeth exchange) and sh#was so funny and creative. great kid to hang with! very energetic tho lol i'm glad i didn't have to race her#and tbh hanging with kids like her gives me hope for the future too. we'll be okay actually. like as a species
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Concept: Reylo, but Rey was mentored by Luke her entire life, but it’s like The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride (1992) where they have to repeatedly reinforce that Rey isn’t really Luke’s daughter, so she isn’t really Ben’s cousin, so it’s not really incest
#it came to me in a vision…#honestly lion king 2 is literally reylo I bet reylos go so hard for lion king 2#it’s so funny how in lion king 2 they go to such lengths to tell you Kiara and Kovu aren’t related#when the fact that there’s only one dude lion per pride means…everyone’s related#wait but is rey Kiara or is rey kovu?#because kovu’s whole thing is that he’s from the bad guy lions but he can choose to be good#and rey is like a palpatine or whatever but she denies her bloodline#the idea of goodboi ben falling for goth gf rey and being like ‘but daddy I love her’ is kinda sending me lol#I need to touch grass fam. I can’t be mentally well if I’m sitting here contemplating lion king 2 reylo au.#gonna. go outside and take a walk.#being stuck at home post-surgery is putting my brain in some weird places#ben and rey#yes it’s me. bashing reylo and then being okay with it again one post later.#it’s the reylo fandom I have beef with tbh reylo itself is kinda okay
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brings me joy to see fanart of hana. she is funny!!
#I’ll always be her defender#writing wise it’s a disappointing and bad choice for gege to write hana and by extension angel out#when there’s SO much there that was skimmed over the second they failed to kill sukuna#and for what? because Hana’s missing an arm?? even then there could be more dialogue between characters or angel flashbacks#but that aside fans also say the worst shit#that typical thing where a teenage girl is kinda cringey and silly. then suddenly there’s people ripping her apart for being annoying/whiny#same w the fan polls where i saw comments saying maki and nobara being low is bc jjk is bad with women#and yes it absolutely is bad in that department. but that is Not why inumaki or naoya place so high above 😭#I’m glad there’s more love for Mai too. she falls into a similar place as hana where she doesn’t have a huge role#and there were missed writing opportunities (although I think Mai’s presence is pretty great tbh)#but fans overlook everything (and esp. their relationships and trauma) and just call her names#that’s enough of my monthly rant where i want to vent a little about characters deserving more from fans and the creator#look all I’m saying is if inumaki can have such a huge fan base just bc people like his design#then why not hana!! she has an interesting backstory - is funny - AND has amazing fashion
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How is it Kiryu is both a great and a terrible dad? Its a talent I guess.
Duality of man 🥰
#i think it really is realistic tbh#Kiryu I would never describe as a purposely negligent father#like he really does tey and seemingly between games when shit isnt going down#he appears to be a pretty good dad#but then he goes and hes too fucking kind and it blows up in his (and Harulas most particularly) face#like he did traumatise that poor girl without meaning to#but compared to someone like the florist or date#i dont consider him a bad dad hes a complicated dad#his heart is in the right place#and boy does he love those kids#and boy is he good natured#but that doesnt negate that he fucks up severely#but i still love him#so yeah i fall on the more Its Complaicted#hes not bad to me but that doesnt negate that he fucked up horribly#but also i was a daddys girl and my dad died when i was lottle so maybe i just give kiryu more leeway than i should#but oh well#thats the thing with kiryu for me hes almost always coming from a place of love and kindess and its why i love him#even if i wanna shake him#ya know?#lmao#SORRY FOR GOIN ON INSANE TAG TANGENTS TONIGHT LMAO
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heroforge approximation of my humanoid bellum design
#salty talks#bellum#thesis statement of the whole thing: just make him nonwhite and just about every problem you have with the design is resolved#the scars are fucking rough bc the scar color options are. weird. theyre the same color options for the thing on his back#i spent like over an hour on the pose and much more just on his face#he looks too pretty. hes handsome and its weird. at least it helps with conceptualizing linebeck n damien falling in love with him#things you cant see: sharp teeth and purple tongue. also a liiiiiiiiiiittle bit of yellow around his eye#anyways. i felt for a while that his face was. off. but finally got the idea to compare it to the commissions ive gotten of him and#yeah thats just what he looks like but in 3d pretty much. im just unused to seeing my written design visually expressed#which suggests that when i imagine him its not totally the right design which is. not surprising considering imagination#anyways this helped like crazy i dont feel as unsure abt the design seeing something very close to it like this#heroforge is v limited in some places but the biggest hurdles were no scar over a lot of face and nose and no little cloth armbands#but thats nothing this turned out well. not exactly as he should look but its good#hes got eyes like he’s blessed with the grace of the erdtree or smth i cant remember the specific phrasing#tbh probably the lack of nose rendered in 3d like this also messes with how i see his face lol
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ignore this post i’m just whining again
#i HATE being new with a passion like it is one of the most uncomfortable situations for me to be in#i had extreme social anxiety as a kid (still do i’ve just learned how to manage it better) that had a huge impact on me in school#i switched schools 3 times between the ages of 5 and 10 and tbh i made friends pretty quickly every time#but i was still so indescribably anxious every time bc i just hated being the new kid so much#and i thought that was all behind me bc at the time it was bc i didn’t know anyone and everyone else already had friends#but as i’ve gotten older that same feeling has come back and this time it’s when i’m starting at a new job instead of a new school#i started working when i was 16 and for the first month or two i was so stressed and uncomfortable all the time#and i thought it was normal bc it was my first job ever#which was reinforced when i was 19 and got another job and the adjustment period was a million times better#but i started working there 2 weeks after the business opened so literally everyone was new not just me#and now i’m realizing that was probably the only reason i settled in so easily#bc now i’ve started another job and i’m right back to feeling incredibly anxious whenever i’m there and it’s driving me crazy#like everything’s been super easy so far and it’s the exact same type of work i was doing before so i already know what i’m doing#and everyone i’ve met has been nice and chill but i’m still so uncomfortable#like every time i talk to my coworkers i’m just thinking ‘oh my god this is so awkward’ the whole time and i can’t stop#and i just feel so out of place and it sucks bc i was so excited about this job and rn i just feel so anxious every time i go to work#and the worst part is i felt the same way when i was new at my first job and (to a lesser extent) my second job#so logically i know it’s just bc it’s my first week and it takes time to adjust and it’ll be fine eventually#but knowing that doesn’t make the feeling go away or help me deal with it#like what can i do besides just accepting that work is going to suck for the next month??#the whole thing is just kind of making me spiral bc i desperately needed a new job and this is literally the only one i wanted#but at the same time i’m still so upset about getting laid off from my last job even though it’s been 3 months#and the more anxious i feel at this new job the more i miss my old job#and i cannot allow myself to fall back into the headspace i was in for all of march after losing that job#maybe this is irrational bc it was just a job but the layoff genuinely sent me into one of the worst depressive episodes of my life#so idk i guess i was just really hoping i would love this job right away so i could finally see a bright side to getting laid off#and i mean i don’t have any complaints about the job so far but my anxiety is just making me so unhappy anyway#and i just miss my old job so much and i think about it nonstop and i really fucking hate being new and idk what else to say or do#vent#lj.txt
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if i had a nickel for every time i now, years later, looked up a book i read as a child/teen with an indian setting and a central plot about a tiger, to find out it was written by a white non-indian woman with no background in anything to do with indian culture, i'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice
#it's not actually weird bc i doubt local places take care to diversify their authors and keep an eye out#for potential cultural appropriation etc.#and i got those willy nilly at the local library when i was like 10 or so#i just thought Cool! Tiger!#and the other book series i borrowed from a friend who liked it lol#tigermond.....tiger-saga....#what is it about tigers.#tiger saga (or. tiger's curse in english) is abt like. indian princes cursed to be tigers#i dont remember more of the plot. only that British Girl Protag falls in love with them and vice versa but there was actual#plot there that intrigued me when i was younger. i should reread them to see wtf that was all about#and if they're exoticising bc i expect that tbh#i remember i cried at reading the ending of tigermond. which at that point i think was a first i'd never cried at a book before#that's the only thing i remember about that book LOL#cas.txt#also im not dogging on these women. they may very well be respectful and thoughtful in their settings#i cant tell bc i dont remember anything but i want to reread the books at some point just to see
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#wedding celebration to go to next weekend#they're like. maybe already married?#they didn't tell us when they were gonna get married or announce their engagement at all to us#i'm kinda like 'why even bother' but one of em has been reaching out to try to hang with my partner more#no one tries to talk to me at all tho despite me attempting to reach out to them so like#fuck me i guess. as is usual with this group.#falling out of love with some other close friends recently too tbh#i'll have to wait and see how i feel about everyone once we've fully moved and settled into our new place and i'm not stressed af anymore#a major major stressor is one of said friends developing a bed bugs case and being extremely lackadaisical and naïve about it#no spraying a bug bomb once will not take care of the issue#why do you think people are so fucking afraid to get them?#do some damn research#and acts like i'm reeeeally putting upon him to ask him to exercise some reasonable caution#like not bringing his backpack on trips#like!!! you're lucky we're having you in the car with us at all and in our hotel room!!!#backpacks have a million tiny spaces for things to hide! get used to living out of disposable plastic bags on trips for a little dude#if i get bed bugs from him being fast and loose i WILL legitimately stop being friends with him
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SURPRISE, SURPRISE !
john "soap" mactavish / reader – 9.3k sale of a lifetime mini series !
tags: smut, developing relationship, virginity for sale trope, protective!soap, virgin!reader, afab!reader, no prns for reader, mean!soap? or maybe just intense!soap, soap is NOT beginner-friendly
cw: loss of virginity, soap's filthy mouth, fingering, multiple orgasms, wet&messy, sloppy blowjob, cum facial, squirting, crying during sex?/dacryphilia, consent check bc johnny is a GOOD MAN, intense heated sex to sex with feelings, cunnilingus, corruption kink if u squint, multiple rounds, sloppy sex tbh
;
It’s not like it’s hard to find someone to sell your virginity to, men come out of the woodwork offering you the money. It’s no problem at all to set up a little meeting and get to know them before you’re whisked away to a bedroom.
At least, that’s how it should be.
The problem was there seemingly was always something that got in the way. Or rather…someone.
Soap, in fact.
or.
After continuously getting in the way of your attempts to sell your virginity, you finally let yourself fall into bed with him instead.
You couldn’t believe you wound up here. You always thought it would happen in some sweet way. A long-time boyfriend or girlfriend, happy and in love. You’d snuggle up afterwards and be told how good you were.
But no, instead you became swamped in debt and ended up on the verge of eviction even though you were living in the cheapest apartment you could find that wasn’t in an area that would get you stabbed for stepping outside. You needed money fast and you had one thing that plenty of perverts would pay for; your virginity. It’s not your most crowning moment in life but as they say, you gotta do what you gotta do.
At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself so you don’t crumble under the shame of it all.
When the chair across from you suddenly gets yanked out, feet scraping obnoxiously across the floor, making you nearly jump out of your skin. The man who sits down looks nothing like the picture he sent and you internally groan. He looks much older than you, no doubt in his mid 40’s, balding, and graying hair. You wouldn’t mind an older man if he were a little more…attractive. Sure, maybe that’s a bit shallow of you but fuck, it’s your virginity you’re giving away. You should be allowed to be picky with the man you choose! Under normal circumstances you would be so why not now?
Then again, this isn’t exactly normal circumstances was it?
You pick up the glass of the strongest drink you could handle that you ordered at the bar while waiting and downed it in one deep gulp. You gave the man a very fake smile and he grinned back, the sleazy sight making your stomach turn.
You were going to need a lot more alcohol.
The evening turned into night and you’re feeling the effects of the alcohol. Your ‘date’ doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest as you drink, if anything he seems elated. That thought makes you curl your lip in disgust.
“So,” he starts when you finally lean back in your chair, having had your fill of alcohol for the night, “Shall we move this along? My place or yours?”
“You got the money you promised?” you ask, raising a brow, unsure if you sounded as drunk to him as you did to yourself.
“In my car,” he responds, grin sitting irritatingly lopsided on his ugly face, “Got it all ready for you. After services are rendered, of course.”
Anxiety coils in your stomach at the mention of what you have to do to get the money. It’s a lot of money and that makes your palms sweaty – you need it. You feel like there’s eyes on you from behind, making the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. When you turn to look around, there’s no one paying any attention to you. Everyone in the bar was having a nice time. You wish you were one of them.
“Let’s get out here,” the man grins, “I am just achin’ to get my hands on you.”
He stands up but you find yourself rooted to your seat. Your entire body feels tense, you can’t find it in yourself to stand up. You don’t want to go with the guy, you decide. Your fight or flight activates with terrifying speed, alerting you of the danger you’re in. Though you’re not exactly sure what danger that is just yet.
“I think…” you start and the guy heaves a big sigh.
“Don’t tell me you’re backin’ out?” he grumbles, not bothering to mask his irritation, “After I came all this way? That’s awfully rude of you.”
“I just don’t think I want to–” he groans, embarrassingly loud.
You feel the eyes of nearby patrons on you and your cheeks burn under the scrutiny. Shame bubbles up inside you at the thought of them finding out what exactly was going on between the two of you.
“Let’s go,” he snaps, his anger bubbling to the surface as he rounds the table and grabs hold of your arm.
You don’t bother fighting back as he yanks you to your feet, instead leveling him with a fierce glare. You don’t want to make a scene in front of all these people so you plan to let him drag out outside where you can really give him a piece of your mind before hopefully coming back inside and peacefully getting drunk alone.
But a sudden, growling voice has both of you freezing in place, “I don’t think you’re goin’ anywhere.”
Your eyes fall upon a man, standing tall and confidently. He has a mohawk, brilliant blue eyes and handsome features. Upon first glance, you could immediately tell he was in the military based on his posture alone. He was intimidating, broad and well-built.
“Hey, dude, why don't you mind your own fuckin’ business,” your ‘date’ snarled, yanking you harshly towards him.
You felt your eye twitch in irritation but your drunken brain was too slow to react properly. You were still hung up on the appearance of this rather good looking man.
“This is my business,” the stranger said, Scottish accent thick as he took two big strides over to the both of you, “Why don't you just leave quietly so things don't have to get ugly?”
Your ‘date’ stares the strange man down for a few seconds, taking a glance at you before kissing his teeth and ripping his hand off of you.
“You ain't worth this shit,” he huffed, stomping off into the crowd. You could hear the bell over the door ring, announcing his final departure from the scene.
“Well, he was just a dandy fellow,” your rescuer jokes, a crooked grin settling on his face. His shoulders relaxed and he held his hand out, “Name’s Soap. How about I walk you home?”
“That'd be great,” you responded, feeling your stomach starting to roll as the alcohol settled. You knew you were going to be stuck with your head over the toilet bowl soon and you'd rather be in the comfort of your apartment for that.
“Let’s get a move on then,” he waved forward for you to lead the way.
The crisp outside air had you sighing happily. You hadn't realized how hot you were in there but now that the light breeze brushed against your skin, you noticed how you had begun to sweat.
“So you’re military, huh?” you ask, leading him in the direction of your apartments “Soap.”
He chuckles, “You caught me.”
You smile, “It's kind of hard to miss, no offense.”
“None taken,” he assures, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets, “What were you doin’ with a piece of shite like that? Was he your boyfriend?”
You sputter, “No! Nothing like that. I just…had a deal with him, that's all. I called it off and he got pissed. I'm sorta pissed at myself. Just missed out on a fuck ton of money.”
Soap’s brows raise, “What kind of deal?”
Your drunken brain forgets all about the fact such a deal should be kept quiet. Your mouth opens before you can stop yourself, “My virginity for his money. But I’m not like a prostitute or anything!”
He holds his hands up as surrender when you get defensive at the shocked look on his face, “You need money that bad?”
“You have no idea,” you sign, pinching the bridge of your nose at the mere thought of your money troubles, “I never do this. You know? I-I mean obviously…with the virginity and all. But-!”
“I’m not judgin’ you,” he assures, “Hard times. But you should be careful. Lot’s of dangerous characters out there.”
“Yeah,” you sigh, shrugging your shoulders as you come to a stop, “This is my place.”
“Right,” he mutters, “Let me give you my number.”
“For what?” you sputter, watching him pull out his wallet.
“Just in case,” he smiles, “I doubt anyone really knows what you’re dealin’ with right? I do. So if you’re ever in any trouble,” he hands you a business card, “Give me a call.”
You take the card and look it over. It’s got his name and military rank but not much else. You raise a brow, “Why do you have a business card on you?”
He chuckles, waving his hand flippantly, “Just ‘cause. I’ll see you around, darlin’.”
“Yeah,” you smile, stowing the card away in your pocket, “Thanks for walking me home, Soap.”
He stands outside of your place, waiting until you’re safely inside and shutting the door. When you peek out the window, you see him walking off in the direction that you had come from. You smile and go about getting ready for bed, grateful that you’re not feeling that awful nauseous pit in your stomach you had earlier.
When you wake up in the morning, you’re still dressed in your clothes and you have no recollection of having laid down the night before. You groan, your head throbbing in your skull as you sit up.
You stumble your way to the bathroom, grimacing at the sight of yourself in the mirror. You take the time to start the shower and strip yourself, determined to scrub the grime from last night off of your body.
By the time you step out, you’re feeling like a brand new person. You stretch your arms over your head and work on drying yourself off. Wrapping your towel around your body, gather your clothes in your arms, and trudge back into your bedroom.
You look through the pockets of your jeans from yesterday, pulling out various coins and candy wrappers that you remember snacking on in the car to ease your nerves. You finally pull out the last thing – the business card Soap had given you last night.
It all floods back to you, and you find yourself pulling your phone out, opening it to make a new contact under the name Soap.
Sitting on the edge of your bed, still wrapped in your towel, you shoot him a text.
“Hi Soap, remember me? You walked me home last night! I was just wondering if I could take this as a business inquiry?”
You aren’t sure where the burst of confidence came from. Last night, you would have never even thought to ask him such a thing. But the fact your plans fell through last night with that pig of a man, you kind of had no other choice at this point.
And luckily for you, Soap texted back almost immediately.
“Sure, darlin’. We can consider it a business inquiry.”
Jackpot, you think. Not only is he very good looking and nice – if he has the money, then you can’t think of anyone better to sell your ‘goods’ to.
He’s perfect.
Turns out, Soap is more than ready to meet up. Not at a bar, you’re thrilled, but at an actual restaurant. It almost feels like a real date!
You have the opportunity to dress yourself up and feel pretty. It feels so much better than meeting up with that guy at the dingy bar. Your nerves are almost non-existent.
You still have that jittery feeling everyone gets when they’re going to be going out with someone new.
But this isn’t actually a date, you have to tell yourself, as you get into your car to drive to the restaurant. It’s a meeting.
When you walk in, you’re greeted with the heavenly smell of food and what you can only deduce as something akin to mint. It’s a lovely restaurant, tablecloths and wine glasses everywhere.
You look around the room before you spot him, sitting at a table in the far back nursing a glass of water. You make your way there, coming to a slow stop in front of the table. He looks up, blue eyes widening at the sight of you before he jumps to his feet.
“You made it,” he says, a smile growing on his lips.
He rounds the table and pulls your chair out, gesturing for you to take a seat.
“Thank you,” you say as he pushes you in a bit before returning to his own seat.
Soap situates his elbows on the table, chin resting on his hands as he gazes across at you. You feel your cheeks burn underneath his intense gaze, not able to gain the courage to look directly at him.
A waiter comes by, depositing a basket of fresh, buttered bread on your table, letting you know he’ll be around in a moment to collect your orders. You offer him a polite smile as he vanishes, acutely aware that Soap is still staring right at you.
“Why are you…” you clear your throat, finally looking at him.
“You look lovely,” he says, a smile growing on his face when you become more bashful, “You’re truly breathtaking, has anyone ever told you that before?”
You can feel how hot your cheeks are and you resist the urge to reach up and pat them in an attempt to cool them down. You’re at a loss for words, no clue what to say in response to that. You hadn’t been told anything like that before, actually. Nor has anyone ever looked at you with such infatuated intensity like he is right now.
Thankfully, the waiter arrives to relieve you of this immense pressure. Pulled from his devoted admiration, Soap orders first before you put your own order in.
Left alone once again, you and Soap fall into an easy conversation. You’re surprised by how nice it is to talk to him, he’s open and funny. He tells you about his buddies in the military and about how he goes out to drink every weekend with some guy named Kyle and that he thinks his buddy Ghost’s jokes are just the worst abomination on Earth.
You get so lost in talking to him, you don’t even realize how much time has passed. Your food arrives and the table finally falls quiet.
You both get lost in eating your meals. Soap finishes his glass of wine and leans back in his seat with a content sigh. When you finish your own plate, you do the same. The chair creaks underneath the shift of weight and your eyes meet his.
You wait to see if he’ll say something. But he just continues to stare at you, drifting from your eyes and down the rest of your body that’s not hidden by the table.
“So, should we get out of here?” you finally find yourself asking, burying any embarrassment deep down, “Your place or mine?”
Soap seems to falter suddenly, crooked smile slipping off of his face, “Listen, darlin’...I-I don’t actually want to…you know…”
Your cheeks burn a little and you shrink in on yourself where you sit, “Oh! Well, that’s fine. I-It’s just that you said it was an inquiry so…I assumed.”
Soap shakes his head, reaching across the table to place his hand over yours, “I know. I told you that just so I could see you. I’m just worried about you, darlin’.”
“You want to talk me out of it,” you sigh, leaning back in your seat again, “I appreciate your concern, Soap. But I’m really at the end of my rope here. This is my very last resort, you understand?”
“But you shouldn’t have to-!” you pull your hand out from underneath his and stand.
“I know,” you shrug, “I’m only doing what I can with my circumstances. I appreciate you taking the time to see me and let me know you’re worried. I’ll see you around, okay?”
You leave him behind at the table and make your way back to your car. As you sit, engine idling, the disappointment bubbles up within you. Soap is probably the absolute best you could have gotten in a situation like this. But, it’s clear now that you’re going to have to find a new guy.
You just hope you don’t walk right into the clawed talons of some unknown serial killer or something.
The thought sends shivers down your spine as you make your way back home.
So begins the process of finding a new person to get the money from.
It’s not like it’s hard to find someone to sell your virginity to, men come out of the woodwork offering you the money. It’s no problem at all to set up a little meeting and get to know them before you’re whisked away to a bedroom.
At least, that’s how it should be.
The problem was there seemingly was always something that got in the way. Or rather…someone.
Soap, in fact.
Around every turn, he was there to intercept the meeting you had with a man.
A terribly boring man named Charles; Soap showed up at the bar you met at. The surprisingly young guy you weren’t even sure had enough money for his own monthly rent, Brandon; Soap was there. Justin, the doctor that lowkey gave you the creeps; Soap was there too.
Every single time, the Scot would sit himself at the table and run the guy off, leaving you no choice but to go home alone and moneyless.
You’re getting angrier with every passing day and before you know it, you’re calling him up and asking him to meet you.
The second you lay your eyes on him, you’re marching right up to him.
“What the hell is your problem, Soap?!” you cry, practically nose to nose with him as you glare.
“Whoa, darlin’,” he holds his hands up in mock surrender, “Don’t know what I did to get you so wound up but-”
“You know exactly what you’ve done!” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest, “Why do you keep getting in my way?”
“That’s a mean thing to say to someone,” he responds lightheartedly.
But then your glare wipes the smile off of his face and he sighs, running a hand through his mohawk. He stuffs his hands into his pockets, rocking anxiously back and forth on his heels as he seems to think over his next words carefully.
“I’m just lookin’ out for you, darlin’,” he assures, “This…isn't safe, what you’re doin’. You could get into somethin’ real serious. I just…want to make sure you’re safe.”
You deflate and sigh, “I already told you, Soap. I appreciate your concern but…”
Suddenly, he surges forward, big, rough hands cupping your cheeks as he pulls your lips to his. You gasp, hands resting against his chest as you allow yourself to melt into the kiss.
When he pulls back, he seems almost nervous, “I wanted to kiss you really badly the first night I saw you.”
“So you like me?” you ask softly, not taking your hands off of his chest.
He reaches up, wrapping one of his hands around yours, “I’m afraid so.”
“Soap…” you start but he interrupts you.
“Johnny,” he says, “Call me Johnny.”
“Johnny,” you correct yourself, feeling your cheeks burn at the positively giddy look on his face, “I don’t know if…this…” you gesture between the two of you, “Is a good idea…with what I’m dealing with.”
His brows furrowed and a frown lines his lips. You find yourself wishing you could wipe the solemn look right off his face – it doesn’t suit him, “Just give me a chance, yeah? That’s all I ask of you.”
You sigh, “Okay, Johnny.”
You’re not sure why you gave in so easily to him. But the bright look returns to his eyes again and you find yourself feeling lighter.
He steps back, slipping his fingers in between yours. He tugs you in his direction to follow him and you do, heart skipping in your chest as you look at your hand wrapped up in his.
You haven’t been in a relationship in a very long time so this giddy feeling wasn’t one that you got to feel very often.
Sooner than you’d like, he’s slipping his hand from yours to open the door to an apartment complex for you. You step inside and make your way down the hallway, tailing close behind him up to a door on the first floor – apartment 108.
“It’s not much,” he gives you that charming, crooked smile as he opens the door.
“It’s better than my place,” you joke as you toe your shoes off.
“Have you had anything to eat?” he asks, helping you out of your jacket before hanging it on the rack by the door. You shake your head and he nods, “I’ll order us somethin’. Go ahead and make yourself at home.”
You watch him disappear into the kitchen as you look around his flat. It’s a modest apartment, a bit bare but there’s little bits of Johnny scattered around the place. There were picture frames on the walls and on different surfaces. The couch was navy blue and looked well loved.
“Here’s some water,” he says, startling you as he comes back into the living room, “I ordered us some food, wasn’t sure what you liked so I guessed.”
You chuckle, taking a seat on the couch, “I don’t mind.”
“I’m not really,” he chuckles, sounding nervous, “Good at this.”
“Well,” you sink into the cushions, “I can’t say I am either.”
He laughs, a sweet, melodic sound that makes your cheeks flush, “Well, in that case. We can just…go with the flow.”
“Yeah,” you nod, “Go with the flow.”
By the time the food arrives, you and Soap are invested in watching a random season of The Bachelorette. Neither of you could decide so you looked online to find a wheel to spin to decide your fate for you.
“Ugh,” Soap groans, “Can’t believe she’s goin’ on about how dreamy this bastard is. He’s a total tool!”
You giggle, holding one of his throw pillows against your chest as you sit. You’re about to add your own two cents when the doorbell rings.
Soap jumps to his feet, “Fuckin’ hell, I could eat a cow.”
You admire the view of him from behind when he opens the door. His tight green t-shirt hugs the dip of his waist, riding up just a bit to show a sliver of tanned skin. His shoulders look impossibly wide as he stands in the doorway to take the food, muscles rippling beneath the fabric. His jeans sit low on his hips, belt tied tightly around them.
Fuck, he’s good looking.
He turns, grinning and holding up the bags as if to show you his spoils. He raises one dark brow curiously, as if he knows what you’d been thinking.
“So,” he coos, saddling up next to you, placing the food on the coffee table, “Did you enjoy the view?”
You squeak, “I don’t think it’s polite to call out someone for looking…”
He cocks his head to the side and chuckles, leaning down to grip your chin, “Mind if I kiss you?”
“Now you’re asking?” you respond, breathless as you look at his lips coming closer and closer to yours.
“Aye,” he breathes.
You nod and his lips are against yours in an instant. He supports his weight by placing his hands on the back of the couch. You have to crane your neck back to be able to kiss him but having him over top of you like this is exhilarating.
You know you should stop before you get too carried away but you can’t seem to bring yourself to break away from him. Your attraction to this man is palpable and all consuming.
Against your better judgment, you let him push you down, back against the cushions so he can crawl onto the couch. One knee on one side of you, he keeps one foot on the floor to straddle you without crushing you under his weight. But you wish that he would, fuck.
Your arms wrap around his shoulders, fingers slipping through the short hairs of his mohawk. He sighs against your lips, one hand coming up to wrap lightly around your throat, just pinning you down so he can deepen the kiss.
You find yourself tugging at his shirt, edging it up and up until he’s forced to pull away.
“Are you sure?” he asks, blue eyes swallowed by the black of his pupils when he meets your gaze.
You nod, “Want you, Johnny.”
“I’ll give you all of me,” he promises, sitting up to yank his shirt over his head.
It feels like the air evaporates from your lungs at the sight of him. He’s built, muscles rippling underneath a layer of fat – a man who is built for pure strength. His tanned skin is littered with tattoos here and there and hair speckles over his chest and stomach, a thick happy trail disappearing under his jeans. Which are tented with how his hardened cock presses against the fabric, desperate to be released.
Your hand slips down the planes of his chest and down his tummy, cupping his erection. It twitches and kicks beneath your touch and pulls a groan from him.
He reaches out, wrapping his hand around your wrist and bringing your hand to his lips where he places a kiss upon your palm.
“Strip yourself, baby,” he orders, “Wanna see that pretty body.”
He sits back on his heels, watching your every movement as you slip your shirt off and shimmy your pants down your hips.
When you stop, he realizes you're not going to take your panties off so he quickly does it for you. His thumbs hook into the band and yanks them down, making you squeal as the force jostles you.
Soap chuckles, pressing a kiss to your shoulder as his hands eagerly cup your breasts. You sigh at the contact, arching your back to press more into his touch.
His kisses all over your chest, leaving no spot untouched, until he can pop one of your nipples in his mouth. You whimper, fingers sliding appreciatively through his mohawk while his other hand slips between your thighs.
You easily part them, nearly panting by the time his fingers slip between your folds. You're already wet and sticky, drooling all over yourself with slick he uses to circle your clit.
Your hips twitch as the first feeling of his rough fingers on the little bud. You cry out, tugging on his hair as he switches his mouth to give your other nipple proper attention.
You arch your hips, his fingers sneaking down to prod at your entrance. With a glance at your face to make sure you're okay with it, he slides one in.
There's a loud squelch when it sinks in to the last knuckle and you whine in embarrassment.
He can't resist commenting, “So wet.”
You whimper, lightly slapping his shoulder at his teasing. He chuckles, leaning up to press his lips against yours as he carefully works you open on that one finger. He presses and prods against your walls, waiting for you to relax so he can slip another one inside you — really prepare you for his cock.
He presses against your g-spot and it rips a heavenly sound from your lips that only encourages him to do it again. You get wetter and wetter, throbbing and clenching around his middle finger.
When he decides you're ready, he introduces a second finger. His ring finger easily fits in right alongside his middle.
“There you go,” he praises, unable to resist looking down to see where his fingers are buried inside you, “That's it, baby, look at you go.”
You gasp, eyes rolling back in your head when he adjusts his hand. His palm cups over your clit, the angle letting him really grind the tips of those digits right against that gooey little spot inside you.
He watches the way you cream his fingers, milky colored slick dripping down his knuckles. It makes his mouth water.
The movements rub his palm over your clit, stimulating the tender little bud and driving you closer and closer to the edge. You cry out, moaning and wailing the tighter that cord winds in your tummy.
You clench and pulse against his fingers, a signal that you're going to cum for him. He works even harder, diligently worshiping your precious cunt until you toss your head back and sob.
Your body trembles, thighs twitching in time to your walls squeezing around him. He moans with you, watching your pretty body in the throes of pleasure.
When it becomes too much, you weakly reach down and bat his hand away. He slips his fingers out, watching you clamp your thighs shut.
As you lay there panting and collecting yourself, he pops his cum-covered fingers into his mouth. He moans at your taste, slipping his tongue between them to catch every single drop of sweet cum he can get.
By the time he finishes off the delicacy, you're watching him with lidded eyes and your bottom lip tucked between your teeth.
“More?” he asks, a crooked grin on his face. You nod and he chuckles, “That looked like a good fuckin’ orgasm. Sure you can handle more?”
“If I can't,” you whisper, sitting up to tug at his belt, “You can make me.”
“Fuck,” he groans, reaching down to help you open his pants, “Want me to make you take it, baby? Make you cum on my cock until you can't even think?”
“Please, Johnny,” you whimper, not tearing your eyes off the sight of him stripping himself bare.
His cock was fat and heavy, a thick patch of hair scattering the base with thick, full balls to match. You felt your mouth fill with saliva at the sight of his hand wrapped around his big cock, stroking himself languidly until enough precum had dripped out to slick himself up.
“Let me hear it again, doll,” his eyes are heavy lidded as he looks at you laid out beneath him, breathless and sweating from the orgasm he’d worked out of you.
“Please, Johnny,” you whisper, needily reaching your hands out towards him.
“Shit,” he grunts, “Alright.”
He scoots closer to you, spreading your legs open for him. Your sticky folds part, exposing your swollen, sensitive clit and clenching hole that’s still drooling your creamy release.
He slips the tip of his cock through the gooey mess, tapping it meanly against your little bud. Your knees flinch at the stimulation and your jaw drops open when he starts to push inside.
It burns and you arch your hips away instinctively from the pain. He slips out and curses.
“You gotta relax, sweetheart,” he mumbles, hoisting your hips into his lap with an iron grip.
“Can’t,” you pitifully whimper.
Soap clicks his tongue, purses his lips and lewdly spits on your clit. You whine, hands covering your face when he uses his cockhead to smear it all over.
When he starts to push in again, the burn starts but a rough thumb finds your clit.
“Shh,” Soap soothes you, watching as the furrow in your brows vanishes.
He works your clit in tiny circles as he carefully saws his cock in and out of your tight hole, inching a little bit more in every time. Your body grows pliant and soft, slumping against the couch until he finally buries himself to the hilt.
“Thaaaaat’s it,” he praises, still rolling your hard clit under his thumb, “Good fuckin’ job. Take your reward, sweetheart.”
He remains completely stuffed inside you, grinding his hips up just a little until he prods at that gooey little spot inside you. His thumb continues to swirl around your clit and he watches your eyes grow wide, a grin stretching across his face.
“C-Cummin’-!” you manage to gasp before you throw your head back.
He groans, jaw falling open as he works you through the orgasm, rubbing your clit to ease you through every pleasurable wave. It’s only when you reach down, grabbing his wrist to stop him that he ceases.
“Fuck,” you pant, pupils blown wide as he looks at you coming down.
“Feels good cumming on cock, huh, sweetheart?” he asks, once again wearing that crooked grin on his face.
You nod your head, still too fucked out from your orgasm to properly formulate words. He chuckles, carefully pulling back until only the thick head of him remains nestled inside. With a swift, experienced roll of his hips, he stuffs every single inch right back in.
You wail, grappling haphazardly against his shoulders for stability as he starts to really fuck you. He punches so deep, makes you feel him in your tummy. The friction burns and feels incredible at the same time.
It feels so fucking good that you can’t stop any of the sounds that are forced from your lungs with every mind-numbingly pleasurable thrust of his cock. You’re soaking him, dripping all creamy down his cock in a way he knows you’ve never done before. No way your own fingers could make you cream like this and he doubts you’ve ever sat this pretty cunt on any stupid toys.
He groans, grinding against your clit every time he reaches as deep as he can, “Not gonna have shit to sell now, huh?”
You whimper, shaking your head as you stare at him wide eyed, drool dripping over your lips because you can’t close your mouth for even a second. There’s no way for you to quiet yourself, you’re loud, you wear every pleasurable experience on your face with no ability to hide or perform. Every reaction is real and authentic and he loves it.
“Don’t think I can ever let you go after this, sweetheart,” he coos, slowing his thrusts so you can focus on looking at him, “That alright with you?”
You swallow thickly and shakily nod your head, “O-Only want you, J-Johnny.”
He snorts, sharp canines glinting at the predatory grin he gives you, “You only sayin’ that because you’re got your cunt stuffed full of my cock?”
You whimper at the punishing thrust he gives you, the pain of him battering your cervix making you tremble, “N-No! L-Liked you when I first saw y-you. I-I swear, Johnny. Please!”
“Alright, quit fuckin’ beggin’,” he snaps, leaning out of your reach, making you whine.
He takes a mean grip of your hips, using just his strength to yank you onto his cock like a fleshlight. You wail, head tossed back against the couch as he really fucks you. Every thrust is too deep but gives you nothing but pleasure. He grinds against your clit every time he sinks in, making sure to also aim for the gooey little spot that gets you creaming around him. His fat, heavy balls slap against your ass every time he stuffs that cock into you.
It’s all just too much. He should know better, really, treating a little virgin pussy so meanly. You’re too new to this, don’t know how to take such cruel, deep strokes. You’re squeezing tight, staring at him with wide, glassy eyes. He can’t stop the moan that tears from his throat at the sight of tears trickling down your cheeks – proof that this is all too much.
But he doesn’t stop. He can’t stop. Not when he feels how tight you’re squeezing around him, how much wetter you’re getting as you get closer and closer to what he knows is going to be the best damn orgasm of your life.
“Cum,” he whispers, shocked at how fucked his voice is from pleasure, “Cum right fuckin’ now.”
“W-Wait, Johnny-!” you wail, feet kicking as you fight against his iron-tight hold on you, “I-It’s…It feels w-wrong!”
“Stop fuckin’ runnin’,” he snarls, easily pinning you to the couch. He folds you up, knees to your chest as he presses his body weight down on you. He can feel the air being forced out of your lungs under the weight, “I said cum.”
You open your mouth, wanting to say something. But you can’t get the words you, only whimpers and tears. He doesn’t care what you had to say, though. All he cares about is feeling your tight little cunt cum around him so he can have his own orgasm.
You still try to fight him from how intense the build up is. You slap against his shoulders, squirm and try to kick him off but he easily holds you down. Even as you fight, you never once tell him to stop.
After a few, long seconds, he feels it.
Fuck, does he feel it.
You gush. It splatters all over his cock and stomach. He curses, slamming into you over and over, every thrust forcing another squirt out of you. You’re sobbing, fat tears falling down your cheeks and you’re moaning the prettiest damn symphony that has ever blessed his ears.
The orgasm is too much, it’s intense and all consuming. You can’t come down, every time he stuffs you full, your orgasm continues to wash through you.
“J-Johnny-!” you sob, “N-No more!”
“Fuck!” he snarls, cutting his own orgasm off when he pulls out of you.
He pushes himself off of you and you curl in on yourself, softly sniffling and shaking in a little ball. He licks his dry lips at the sight of you covered in your own squirt.
“C’mere, darlin’,” he coos, panting and breathy, hoisting you up and into his lap.
He cradles you in his arms as you’re wracked with trembles and twitches, your nerves zapping through your body from the pleasure. He shushes you, cupping your chin to make you look at him. Your eyes are red-rimmed and wet from your tears, pupils blown out wide. He clicks his tongue and wipes his thumb underneath to swipe some away.
“That’s it, sweetheart,” he coos, “Just get some breaths. Got a little overwhelmed, huh?”
You nod, slumping against him with a sigh when you finally feel like you’re back in your body. Johnny is solid and sweaty beneath you, warm and comfortable as he cups the back of your head and strokes his hand over your body.
“I-I’ve never um…” you clear your throat, cheeks burning hot.
“Knocked your damn socks off, huh?” he jokes, a crooked smile on his face.
You giggle, endorphins still rushing through your body. You shift on his lap and catch the pinch in his brow before he can school his expression back into place. You look down, biting your lip at the sight of his cock still hard and twitching, smeared in a creamy mess of your cum.
“Ah, it’ll go down on its own, darlin’,” he assures, no irritation to be seen or heard from him.
One look in his eyes shows you that he’s perfectly prepared to go without his well-earned orgasm – just for you.
But you don’t want that, you realize. He had made you feel incredible, given you an orgasm that you’ve never been able to experience in your life. You doubt anyone else will ever be able to make you do it again.
“I-I want to help, Johnny,” you whisper, trying to swallow down your nerves.
His brows raise in interest, “What did you have in mind?”
You slide off of his lap and slowly sink to your knees. You place your shaky hands on his thighs to steady yourself, looking up at him with wide, too-innocent eyes.
He lets his head fall back against the back of the couch, a breathless, “steamin’ blood Jesus,” following.
“I-I’ve never done this,” you confess, though he’s not surprised, “Is that okay?”
“Is that-” he laughs softly, “darlin’ any man who isn’t appreciative of you willin’ to swallow his cock is a man you kick in the balls, got that?”
You giggle, nerves dissipating as he wraps a hand around the base of him. You scoot a bit closer when he holds it out for you, waiting for you to do what you please with it. Your tongue falls from your mouth and Soap feels like he’s suspended in air as he watches you get closer and closer to the sensitive, leaky tip.
The first contact feels better than he could have imagined. He’d gotten so fucking close earlier, buried in your cunt as you came around him, squealing for him and all. He knows it won’t take much to send him over the edge this time.
Perfect practice for you, he thinks. You won’t have to be on your knees for too long or do any real work to get him to cum for you.
You’re clumsy and it’s clear you’re unsure about the taste of his cock. It’s not just his precum, it’s your own cum mixed with it. He can’t blame you for being unsure.
He reaches down, a soft, gentle hand resting atop your head to encourage you. When you look up, he smiles so softly at you that it makes your heart jump in your chest. You suddenly feel like you’re the center of his world. Those baby blues never once waver from you as you sloppily lick and slurp on the tip of him.
“Take a little more,” he whispers, lashes fluttering and chest rising as he takes a deep breath when you eagerly follow his directions.
Your pretty lips stretch around the girth of him, taking just the head inside your hot little mouth. The flared glans are greeted by your curious tongue, making him whimper when you lick. Your mixed taste lingers on your tongue but you quickly grow accustomed to it.
Feeling braver from Johnny’s unfiltered reactions, you take a little more into your mouth. Then more. And a little more until you suddenly choke, gagging around him. You pull your head off, sputtering and coughing a bit.
Johnny coos at you, thumbing away some drool on your chin, “Not too deep, darlin’. You’re not ready for that.”
You hum, not at all discouraged from taking him back into your mouth again. You don’t take him as deep, accepting that you have your limit – for now, judging by Johnny’s subtle promise of more to come.
“Just suck, watch your teeth,” he whispers, not caring about the way his voice cracks, “Move your head like this. Go at your own pace, alright?”
You lazily blink up at him, hoping he understands your agreement. You do as you’re told, folding your lips over your teeth to keep them away from his sensitive skin. Bobbing your head feels awkward and it makes your jaw ache but the sounds Johnny begins to make makes you temporarily forget about your own discomfort.
His eyes are rolling back in his head and he starts to stroke the rest of his cock that your mouth can’t handle yet. You can’t tear your gaze away from the sight of those thick, veiny fingers wrapped around himself, getting covered in a slick mess of your cum that he had so generously fucked out of you earlier. Drooling all over him like this only gives him more of a mess to work with. It’s gross, frothy and dripping down your chin and neck, slicking up your tits.
It makes your cunt tingle selfishly. You think you could make yourself cum, slip your hand between your legs and stroke your clit until you find release. But you don’t – you focus on Johnny and his pleasure. He’d already given you so much that you don’t want to come across as greedy by making his moment about your own pleasure.
Johnny’s free hand grip around the back of your neck, squeezing and caressing your skin as encouragement since his mouth is too busy moaning. You take his sounds as signals, sucking and moving at whatever pace makes him cry out the loudest.
You had no idea men like him were willing to be as loud as he was. Usually, the masculine type of guys like him would be online whining about how moaning was ‘gay’ or some stupid shit.
Johnny didn’t seem to give a fuck. If he felt good, he was going to let you know. It made you feel more at ease, like you were doing a good job even though you knew you were still clumsy and it probably didn’t feel as good as head he’s surely gotten in the past.
But it encouraged you to work harder to please him, to earn more of those beautiful, unfiltered moans that he was so willing to give you. They were your reward for the intense ache in your jaw.
“F-Fuck,” he groans, suddenly, eyes opening from when he had closed them at some point, “I’m gonna cum. Oh fuck, you’re gonna make me cum.”
His words are slurred, like his brain’s oozed down to his cock, too stupid to think of anything except how heavy and full his balls felt.
“Shit, shit, shit-!” he whimpers, an honest to god whimper, “Off, pull off!”
You do as you’re told, releasing his cock from your mouth. Strings of frothy drool connect your lips to his tip and you don’t dare break it, the sight making you clench around nothing.
Johnny strokes his cock, another loud moan erupting from his lips as he cums. It spurts out, splattering against your cheek, making you flinch in surprise. You can see the way his balls throb in time to each rope of cum that his fat cock spits out. More splatters on your cheeks and lips and across your nose until it tapers off to slow, thick oozes that dribble over his knuckles.
When he lets himself go, he sags against the couch, staring dazedly at the ceiling as his erection flags and grows soft.
When he finally looks at you, you can see his eyes widen almost in alarm. He leans forward, cupping your cheek, messily swiping some of his cum off of your cheek.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” he mumbles, still sounding breathless, “Didn’t think you were gonna get splashed with it.”
“It’s okay,” you whisper, feeling his cum still lingering on your lips.
You can’t resist sticking your tongue out to taste it. His eyes darken at the sight of you licking up his cum. You don’t make a face of disgust like he expected, instead he catches the way your thighs clench together.
“Is that right?” he mumbles, cock twitching in interest, “Isn’t that an interesting development? You like to taste cum, sweetheart?”
You whimper when he swipes more up onto his thumb, bringing it to your lips for you to suck off, which you eagerly do. You suck his finger clean until he pulls it back out, pupils blown wide, making his blue eyes look black.
“You ever had that pretty cunt eaten before?” he asks, a predatory grin splitting across his face when you shake your head.
His hand wraps around your throat, ripping a moan out of your throat. He easily manhandles you onto your knees, tits pressed against the cushions of the couch with a nasty “stay.”
You never thought you’d enjoy being manhandled and ordered around like a dog but fuck if you’re not learning more about yourself tonight.
Soap smacks your thighs apart, and slips his head between them. You take a glance down and nearly choke at the sight of him laying on his back, staring hungrily as you cunt drips gooey, sticky strings right onto his waiting tongue that he holds out for it.
The sight is so fucking filthy.
But it’s nothing compared to the sounds he makes when he gets that tongue on your cunt. He slurps between your folds, groaning at the taste of your cum on his taste buds. He swallows your clit, cheeks hollowing out as he sucks.
You’re already a moaning mess, crying out into the cushions which you claw desperately at. Your eyes roll up into your head when you feel him pop your clit out of his mouth, spit on it, and then slurp it right back up.
He eats so fucking dirty, it’s disgusting and sloppy. But it makes you rut your hips against him.
Soap chuckles, pulling back to watch you work your hips over nothing before you realize he stopped and whine.
“Fuck yourself on my tongue then,” he whispers, earning him a relenting whimper in response.
You can feel the flat of his tongue, hot and thick, against your clit. The little bud’s so hard, swollen and pulsing against the muscle.
With his order ringing in the back of your head, you clumsily hump his tongue. You drag your sensitive little clit back and forth along the surface of his tongue. It feels so fucking good that you actually sob. The sound tears from your chest and makes his cock twitch.
You rut faster and faster, not caring about the way you’re messing up his face when you move too high or too low. You know there’s a mess on his chin, cheeks and nose but you don’t care. His tongue is there for you, for you to cum all over. He’s so good to you, holding it out just so you can use him as you please.
As you grow closer and closer, your moans change in pitch and he suddenly reaches up, stilling you. You groan, an irritated sound that makes him laugh. You frown at that but it’s quickly wiped away when he grips your ass, spreading your cheeks apart so he can stuff his tongue into your creaming cunt.
You shout, sitting straight up in surprise, your weight falling onto his face. He moans at that, rewarding you by pushing his tongue even deeper. It feels odd, different from his fingers and his cock. It’s soft and almost slimy, not long enough to quite reach any pleasurable place.
But just the fact that he’s got his tongue buried in your pussy is enough to have you clenching on it. He watches you through heavy lids, waiting to see what your next move is.
He’s enjoying your little show, he must admit. He likes seeing a sweet, clumsy virgin experience these things for the first time. He likes the fact he’s breaking you in, tearing your walls down and seeing you lost in mind-numbing pleasure.
You surprise him by resuming the motion of your hips. You hump back and forth, riding his tongue like it’s a little toy just for you. And he supposes it is, he’d be a toy for you if you so wished. He’s addicted to this sweet, creamy little pussy and he’s not afraid to admit it.
You reach down, swirling your fingers around your sticky clit. There’s lewd clicks that accompany the movements along with the sound of his tongue sliding in and out of your hole.
You meet his gaze, he’s staring so intensely at you. It spurs you on, makes you fuck yourself on his face more confidently.
You tap your fingers against your clit, slapping the little bud and pulling your fingers back to show Soap the sticky strings of slick that connect them to your cunt. He can’t stop himself from reaching down, wrapping his hand around his cock, jerking himself off to the sight of you smacking your clit and fucking his tongue.
You’re pulsing around it, dripping down his face and mixing with the drool that's pooling out of his mouth. His face is a mess, it drips down his cheeks and under his neck. He’s sure there’s a pool beneath his head that will need to be cleaned up and fuck, he’ll lick it from the floor if you let him. Just as long as he gets to taste you again.
You gasp, tossing your head back. His cock fucking aches, harder than it was before and more sensitive now that he’s already had an orgasm. He knows he’s leaking, drooling sticky precum all over himself like the horny mutt he is.
You cum spectacularly, twitching and trembling, rubbing your clit and clenching around his tongue. It’s like a reward, swallowing down your cum straight from the source. He pulls his tongue out of your hole and wraps his lips around your clit again.
You wail, shaking and throwing yourself face down against the couch again. You try to wrench your hips away from his punishing mouth but he wraps his arms around your thighs and continues to slurp and slobber all over that tender little bud. Your eyes roll back in your head as another orgasm tears through you, far too soon after the other. It almost hurts from how sensitive you are through it, not even able to make a sound as it washes over you.
Only when you’re left twitching and trembling does he finally relent. There’s tears falling out of your eyes and drool dribbling down your chin. The picture of fucked out.
He laughs, folding himself over your back.
“You still with me?” he asks, kissing your shoulder.
You whimper, “Fuck, you’re so good, Johnny.”
He chuckles, “Think you can take more?”
You eagerly nod your head and he doesn’t waste any time. He sinks his cock into you in one deep thrust. You choke on a moan, arching your back so you can feel him even deeper.
He doesn’t start slow like he did before. He knows your little cunt is fucked nice and open for him now. You’re still dazed, drunk on endorphins, any attempts to meet his thrusts are sloppy and clumsy. It’s cute so he doesn’t bother stopping you.
“Spread your legs,” he orders you but doesn’t wait for you to do it.
Instead, he meanly knocks them apart, opening you up even more. His balls slap against your clit and you wail, the exact reaction he was hoping for.
“There you go,” he laughs, “You liked slapping that little clit earlier. How’s this?”
“So good!” you cry, kicking your feet against the floor as pleasure washes through you.
You feel like a live wire, every movement forcing you closer and closer to your next orgasm. Soap isn’t far behind you, too sensitive and worked up to draw it out for long.
He clasps the back of your neck, pinning your face to the cushions as he fucks. He takes and takes, using your sticky, gooey cunt. He’s pounding into you, hips slamming against your ass and his balls slapping your clit.
You can’t even say anything as the orgasm washes over you. He only feels it, the rhythmic clenching of your walls and the gush as you squirt. You’re silent, completely still against the couch as he saws his fat cock in and out, squirt after squirt of cum splattering all over his thighs until he inevitably reaches his own end.
This time, he fills you up. Seats himself as deeply inside of you as he can before he moans. His cock pathetically spits only a few strings of cum but the orgasm lasts far longer, encouraged along by the clenching of your cunt as you’re coming down. Or maybe you’re still cumming, he’s not sure.
There’s a faraway look in your eyes, a wet spot of drool underneath your cheek on the cushion of the couch. You’re panting and glistening with sweat. When he pulls out of you, you drop to sit on the floor, the measly load he had given you drooling out of your cunt as it continues to clench and throb around nothing.
Fuck, he’s never felt so proud to fuck someone brainless before. He knows you’re gonna need a good bath and cozy arms to sleep in.
And his are the best around, if he does say so himself.
He kisses up your spine, curling himself around you as you finally start to come back to yourself, pliant and soft. The both of you sit there, holding one another and sharing soft kisses until he decides it’s time to move.
He’s in no rush, though. He’s wrapped around your finger now and you’re never getting rid of him.
do not modify, translate, repost, or use for c.ai. reblogs OK!
#soap x reader#soap smut#john mactavish x reader#john mactavish smut#john soap mactavish smut#john soap mactavish x reader#cod x reader#cod smut
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i need more of jinx being a bottom and fucked by a strap
nsfw 𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚 jinx loooves being put in place, especially by you. its also way more enjoyable than the piltover law enforcement. one of the things you find real entertaining is how flexible jinx is— she's a small girl, skinner than most... easy to move around.
her favorite is when your hands slide up the back of her thighs, pinning her knees to the bed on either side of her body as your strap buries deep inside her, the angle making the faux veins rub against different spots.
she squeaks and moans with every thrust, her long nails scratching at your arms in a desperate attempt to take the pleasure you're giving her, whining your name.
the new position makes her somehow wetter, her face scrunching up in pleasure. "mmph— h-harder..."
you tug her closer to the edge of the bed, your hips slapping against hers harder and your breath hitching as the harness nudges your clit a few times.
her slender hands travel up your arms to your face, whimpering as she brings you down to lean over her, her fuzzy pink eyes staring up into your own. she craves that connection, your love, even if you are pounding her into the mattress.
you brush her bangs out of her face as she whines, pressing a kiss to her forehead and then her lips, feeling her eagerly kiss back before breaking it to moan. "'m cuming..." she whimpers.
"yeah..?" you whisper, your eyes flickering down to watch her pussy swallow your strap to the hilt, the wet squelching sound making her hide her face in your neck, nodding frantically.
you tilt your hips a little, hearing the pretty gasp that falls from her as you hit the spot inside her that makes her start to squirm under you. it's cute, her whimpers and pants growing more frequent and high pitched as you rub repeatedly against that spot.
her body tenses up suddenly, crying out as she starts gushing around your strap every time your hips draw back, your abdomen and the toy soaked with her release.
the sight is something you never want to forget, her thighs twitching under your hands, how pretty she looks wrapped around the silicone and how she leaks around it.
you keep her writhing body pinned down as you fuck her through it. she can't run from it like she tends to do, forced to feel every single second of her orgasm that you intentionally prolong until she starts clawing at you to stop when it gets too much.
because i feel like jinx is a squirter tbh
#fakevalentine.com#asks. 𝜗𝜚#jinx#jinx smut#jinx x fem!reader#arcane jinx#jinx arcane#jinx x reader#jinx league of legends#arcane#jinx arcane smut#arcane jinx smut#lesbian#vi#caitlyn kiramman
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love letters | s.reid
summary; when you miss spencer while he is away on a case, you re-read all the love letters he has written you over the course of your relationship
warnings; established relationships, mentions case but doesnt go into detail, fem reader, reader is not a coffee drinker, fluff fluff fluff
an; fic six!! this is just pure fluff tbh. also can we appreciate the colouring on this fic. ITS SO PERFECT PRETTU PERFECT.
You’re lying on the bed that feels too big without him, your fingers idly tracing the edge of a soft, worn piece of paper. The clock beside you reads 2:12 a.m., and you can’t shake the emptiness settling over you as you stare at the ceiling, too awake to sleep and too tired to do anything else. Spencer’s been away for three days now, and every hour without him feels like it stretches on and on, the silence heavier than you’d ever thought silence could be.
Your eyes drift back to the drawer beside your bed, a drawer he never opens, but where you keep something he would recognize instantly. Tucked away are letters, dozens of them, each one a quiet reminder of him. They’re notes, really—not grand declarations, not epic poems. Just little reminders he’s left you over time, slipped into coat pockets or left folded on your pillow. You hadn’t intended to save them all, but now, having them close is the only thing keeping you grounded while he’s away.
You open the drawer and pull out the little bundle tied with a piece of twine. Your heart swells as you untie it, gently unfolding the first note. It’s one of your favorites, written on a torn scrap of notebook paper, one corner crinkled from a drop of coffee. Spencer had left it on your kitchen counter before heading out to work, months ago.
“If I could leave you notes all over the world, I would. But for now, just look outside—it’s raining, and I know that makes you feel calm. I’ll be home before the storm’s over. – S”
You smile, remembering that day. You’d found the note just before noticing the rain falling in gentle streams outside your window, and you’d waited with a blanket by the window, watching the clouds until he came back, just like he’d promised. He always knew how to turn your little quirks into anchors.
Setting that note aside, you reach for another. This one’s written on the back of a receipt from the bookshop downtown. It’s short and scrawled in his neat handwriting.
“You pick up this book as if it’s a friend you haven’t seen in years. It’s beautiful to watch. Don’t forget to mark your place in the story—I want to hear what you think. – S”
You laugh to yourself, remembering how he’d tucked it into the back of the book after you bought it. He hadn’t let you see it until you found it yourself one night, and the memory of the way he’d watched you read that note makes your heart ache just a little more.
You lie back against the pillows, shifting so you’re curled around his side of the bed. It’s silly, maybe, reading these notes over and over. But as you go through them, each one reminds you how much he loves you, how he notices things about you that you hadn’t even noticed about yourself. His love is a quiet kind, a series of small gestures and words, but somehow, it feels bigger than anything else you’ve known.
Another note catches your eye. This one’s on a tiny sticky note, a bright yellow square you’d found on your mirror one morning.
“You make coffee exactly how I like it, even when you don’t drink it. I don’t think anyone’s ever done that for me before. I’m lucky. – S”
You can still remember the warmth of his hand over yours when he found you reading it, how he hadn’t needed to say anything else.
The letters become a timeline of your relationship, a way to measure time not by dates but by memories, by little notes that remind you of the person you are when you’re with him. Each one has a tiny piece of his heart tucked into it, a small reminder that he’s with you even when he’s halfway across the country.
You read through a few more, feeling your eyes grow heavy but not wanting to close them. There’s something grounding about seeing his words, knowing that he took the time to write these little messages just for you. In a way, it makes the ache of missing him almost bearable, makes you feel connected to him in a way that’s both heartbreaking and comforting.
You’ve just set down the last one, a note he left in the middle of a crossword puzzle—“How do you always know the words I can’t think of? I love you.”—when your phone buzzes on the nightstand.
It’s him.
You answer on the first ring, not even caring if he’ll be able to hear the lingering sleepiness in your voice. “Spencer?” you say, unable to help the warmth in your tone.
“Did I wake you?” His voice is soft, low, and there’s a hint of worry in it.
“Not really. I couldn’t sleep,” you reply. There’s a beat of silence before you add, “I was reading some of your notes.”
The smile in his voice is unmistakable. “You kept those?”
“All of them.” You can practically feel his surprise through the line. “It helps. You know, with you being away.”
He hums softly, a sound you know means he’s thinking. “Do you have a favourite?”
There’s a hundred favourites, but you know the answer without hesitating. “The one on the mirror, about the coffee. I don’t think anyone’s ever noticed something like that before.”
The line goes quiet for a moment, but you know he’s smiling. “I think about those little things a lot,” he admits. “I keep thinking about how much I miss you. I know I’ll be back in a few days, but it doesn’t stop me from wishing it was sooner.”
Your heart tightens, and you can’t help but imagine him sitting in some unfamiliar hotel room, thinking of you just as much as you’re thinking of him. “I miss you, too,” you whisper, barely able to keep your voice steady.
There’s another pause, the comforting kind, where neither of you needs to say anything. It’s enough just to be together, even like this.
“Do you want to hear about the case?” he asks gently, as if he’s afraid you’ll say no. You do, because it’s part of him, and you always want to know. So he tells you, his voice a familiar comfort in the dark, weaving through the details with that measured precision he’s so good at. You listen, nodding at the right places, even though he can’t see you, letting his words settle over you like a lullaby.
When he’s finished, there’s a soft exhale on the other end of the line. “Do you have any notes for me?” he asks, the hint of a tease in his voice.
“I could think of a few,” you say with a smile, glancing down at the scattered pages on your bed. “Maybe a sticky note on your phone: ‘Call your girlfriend as soon as the plane lands.’”
You can hear his smile widen. “I think I can manage that.” His voice softens, the words almost like a whisper. “I’ll keep leaving them, you know. Notes, I mean. Just in case.”
“In case of what?”
“In case you ever need a reminder. That I love you. That I notice the little things. That I’ll be there, even if it takes a while.”
You’re quiet, just for a moment, because the words stick in your throat. He always knows how to get to the heart of things, how to make you feel so understood. “I don’t need a reminder for that,” you say. “But I’ll still read them every time I miss you.”
“Then I guess it’s a good thing I’ve written so many,” he murmurs, the warmth in his voice unmistakable. “Get some sleep, okay? I’ll be home before you know it.”
You nod, letting your eyes close. “I love you, Spencer.”
“I love you, too,” he replies, his voice like a gentle embrace over the line. “Sleep well.”
The call ends, but you hold the phone to your chest, listening to the quiet in your room. For the first time in days, it doesn’t feel lonely. Spencer may be miles away, but his words are here, resting against your heart, waiting for you in every corner of every room.
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