#i love ur beasties

[vanderdeer]

YOU JUST GOT leia jumpscared

A BEAST!!!!!! A BEAST!!!!!!

[plutoons]

i must go back to my old ways... art requests open for any animal, critter, beast, or bug

[byanyan]

aaaand tonight i'm thinking about how byan was originally meant to be this irredeemable little shitbag who was a problem just to be a problem... but now they're a lot more sympathetic and much more just this traumatized kid who's been done so dirty their whole life. like, they're still not a great person or anything, but it's a lot more out of necessity than actual nature...

[eebie]

thing i saw in my minds eye just naow. taken this thing i foun d in a tumblr post but ill never b able 2 find the tumblr psost again

HOLCKING SHIT OOOOOHHHHH GIRL OOOOOO GIRL

[bimboviolence]

Nine characters that are my type to see if you can spot the similarities in what I’m into! Gee I wonder. I had a hard time with this I’m really a one character at a time kinda vamp (right now it’s clearly Jack) so I had to really think abt who I’ve liked over the years lol here they are

Thanks for tagging me @raccoonome 💕kiss kiss chateau bunny

I tag @shubbzebubs @askkingsleysilvershark @glamballesta @hatsunebeejpeg @phantastragoria only do it if u wanna!

[ittybittybumblebee]

BEE YOUR ART IS AMAZING it adds YEARS onto my life I’m going be become immortal because of you

WAAAAHHHH YOURE SO NICEE ID HOPE YOUD BE IMMORTAL ANYWAY REGARDLESS SO WE CAN HAVE FUN BEING MUTUAL BUDDIES FOREVER !!!!

Anyway ur tags or asks literally make my day every time i hope you always have a little snacky treat on hand of your favourite kind always ❤

[kalims]

he's a ten but he...

premise. sometimes certain bad habits of theirs make their overall rating just a tad bit lower—besides the fact that they keep doing it.

characters. dorm leaders

content. gender neutral reader

malleus (doesn't have a sense of space)

"look beastie, that flower is a native of ours,"

"I agree mal, but I didn't think you taking up the entirety of my seat will make me see it better,"

he blinks, then shrugs.

like i said, has NO sense of space.

if an average person would make an excuse to constantly be in physical contact with who they admire, then malleus is the complete opposite. well, not entirely but he doesn't even bother to construct an explanation as to why he's literally sat over your seat when you coincidentally get put in a table together.

if you start questioning him about it the most you'll get in a very outright 'because he wanted to.' it's not even one of those sarcastic replies he's 100% serious!

cause he believes there's no use in lying about things to be honest.. to further emphasize that, if he ever acts like he does hold fondness for you that surpasses the platonic meter but doesn't mention it he probably hasn't realized yet.

if he did he'd already walk over and bluntly tell you about it.

(I wish I could be that unbothered.)

lilia thinks it's the cutest thing though. you swear you see flashes of light for a split second from the ceiling but when you look up there's only a suspicious swinging chandelier.

^ totally has his own album full of pictures.

if malleus ever discovers it he won't even be disturbed, probably would ask for a copy 💯

since human lives, and their bodies are so fragile he'd taken it upon himself to protect you from harm. even if it means trailing behind you everywhere way too close for comfort, or standing a bees wing away.

while he is respectful most of the time, he's encouraged if you don't comment. if anything, he seems pleased you dont seem to be bothered! (and it'll get harder to tell him to stop when he's so happy the more you let it happen..)

"child of man, have you slept?"

*starts leaning his body forward, to squint at your eyes.* practically right in front of your face.

"WTF."

not even a warning or anything! but atleast he's concerned?

idia (won't even show up for anything and insists a 'virtual' date is better.')

user: where tf r u??

ghoul666: WDYM? at the dorm?

user: IVE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR 20 MINUTES

unintentionally stood you up 💀

you literally have to tell him that you're waiting for him to arrive at the specified area you discussed where your date would take place but would end up vastly irritated when he questions if you guys even did.

ghoul666: we do??

user: I'm taking my minecraft bed away from urs.

ghoul666: NO PLS

ghoul666: HELLO????

next time you log in minecraft it's probably because he begged you to play, you WILL end up seeing some kind of structure that probably took days to make. that's not even the entire thing cause the inside is entirely decorated to your taste.

in short: he constructed some kind of venue for a wedding.. even changed his skin to wear a tuxedo 😭

though he has sparked your pettiness, hence the ignoring him period. even you have got to admit that it's freaking adorable...

big sign, emphasis on please: Im sorry pls put ur minecraft bed back I can't sleep w/o u and I have to wait entire days for it to turn into morning :(

with what he's built you're sure it's 65% true.

if you do end up forgiving him, few weeks later attempting to schedule another date will only end up in naught.

ghoul666: can we not go there

user: 😐

user: you are testing my patience love

ghoul666: 😓 (he is screeching about the term of endearment part btw KABSJAJSAJA ortho would enter his room very concerned.)

ghoul666: how abt

ghoul666: mimic together? call

user: sighs

user: I'm only agreeing cause I want to spend time with you

queue more screeching from his end that you're completely oblivious to.

the only screeching you're gonna hear though is when you guys do get into call as you play, and it's mainly out of terror when his soul gets sent to the void ascending when the entity pops out of a corner and starts chasing him.

"I GOT THIS. ILL CARRY U THIS IS FINE" *screams again* but really wants to impress you so he pushes through.

unsurprisingly does carry you.

asks to match avatars right after (idia love languange)

vil (frets over you way too much.)

"vil, did you see the chocolate in the freezer?"

"oh, that? I noticed that you've already gone through the ideal number of bars this week so I took it upon myself to make sure you don't go sick on me,"

"I love you but please give it back—"

"I love you too, and no."

disclaimer: he does this for your own good 😜 (average mom excuse.)

looks out for you more than he does for his own dorm residents. everyone is wondering where he ran off to after class, especially since he's the one that scheduled the pomefiore meeting every fridays!

and to think he was the one getting irritated over the more newer first years for being late..

*shows up literally half an hour in*

why you ask? you simply shouldn't have texted him about abandoning your daily walk together through the gardens in favor of catching sleep since you called in sick (you're suspicious if crewel really did go in to check for proof, and not concern.)

vil's really feeling the absolute regret of not checking his phone during classes.. well, he only saw the message which was coincidentally sent like somehow ONE minute after the lecture started and he's only seeing it 59 minutes later.

oh you poor thing!! though the lunch break is short, he has about 5 minutes for a trip to the mirror chamber..

you'd think the 'seen' icon below your message was a weird omen for something you're not sure but it must be doom cause vil is right at the front porch of your crappy dorm. at his own expense?! looking more disheveled than you've seen him before.

if a few stray hairs was disheveled at all. more importantly, he still looked drop dead gorgeous!

you probably looked quite terrible with the blanket draped around your shoulders looking like you just crawled out of your grave, because he looked absolutely mortified at your state.

"oh great sevens.." he looked like he was faint, huffing and fanning himself with his hand. "look at you, why didn't you tell me sooner, darling?"

you blink, swallowing to make your throat less dry but your voice still comes out raspy. "I did, like an hour ago—" without your invitation whatsoever, he steps in. promptly shutting the door behind him (which surprisingly still stands sturdy.)

vil takes a hold of your shoulders before reaching his hands upwards to tilt your face around. "you should have sent earlier," he says. you keep in the comment that you were sleeping during it, and you told him about it during second period so.. "your face is so pale."

you sigh.

"yeah, I just saw. I know, I look hideous right now."

vil frowns at you, stopping to angle your face at him. "don't ever say that. I always find you beautiful even if you are.." he glances at you from face to toe, then back up. "sickly."

"... I feel offended."

"hmph, shush now. let me draw you a bath then I know something that will boost your system."

after much coaxing in his end, you reluctantly take a warm bath in the hopefully hygienic bathroom. true to his word, vil did... concoct something. though it looked pretty the random steam that flew from it was really suspicious.

the residents don't dare to question, except rook of course. who already knew what transpired! :)

epel: 😃 (atleast vil wasn't around.)

"roi du poison~ tell me, tell me! is the trickster well? have you cured them with your love?"

"rook, you have 5 seconds to get out of my face."

rook giggles away.

kalim (thinks money will buy anything, including your forgiveness.)

"here!" there's a suspiciously bright smile on his face as he hands you.. some keys?

you deadpan, jingling it in your hands. it weighs heavy than the average, probably because of the fact that it's literally made of gold. "... kalim what is this?" you emit a sigh, from suspicion and concern.

"a gift!"

"wait why does it say lot 111--"

as you can already, that was an actual, literal house. which you imagine would probably be a lots more grand, and new compared to your old baby ramshackle.

but you do love it despite it's love for falling apart at the most inconvenient of times..

fighting with kalim was rare but it was hard to even argue with him because the notion of disagreements are so bizarre to him that he unintentionally doesn't treat you seriously with your concerns, accidentally downplaying them aaaand now you're upset.

after the ranting to jamil about how you must be busy with a lot, since you haven't even talked to him in the past 2 days. all it took was a side glance to his friend in denial and jamil immediately knew.

"what do you mean they're mad!? D:"

"just.. go apologize, I don't want to get caught up in this."

if his definition of an apology is buying you an entire house...

( ^ it is btw.)

kalim really doesn't mean any harm. he just really wants to sate whatever anger you held for him <- maybe he's overthinking it but it's kalim so he's 99% sure it's his fault! even though it hasn't even been confirmed from your end he'd probably accept it whole heartedly.

he wanted you to talk to him again so badly that he wouldn’t mind showering you with houses... since your living situation doesn't live up to your kindness (sorry ramshackle love u xx)

you know what. he wouldn't even notice he's the reason you're upset at first even though he's been asking around on who put you in that mood. despite himself being the perpetrator but he didn't really know that did he?

the only reason he does is because he assumed you were just because you avoided him like some sort of.. cockroach! (he dislikes those.) and he couldn't take it anymore.

was probably 1 sec away from barging into your dorm which wouldn't take a lot of effort since one ram to the door would probably break it.

bless jamil for jailing all the carpets so kalim doesn't find them.

even if said carpets fling him off when he's riding them.

"kalim, why would you buy a literal house... and you also got a rare address paid--"

"for them! ;D"

"... you do know they'd be more offended by the fact that you'd try to replace that.., ahem. dorm, right?"

"oh... should I buy them a vehicle then?"

you only promise to forgive him once he takes back the keys, and the house entirely...

(grim begged you to keep it, 'house for him apparently.')

azul (keeps trying to offer you discounts thinking it's a good excuse to have you over.)

"I assure you. you'll find no deal better than this."

"I'm not even that hungry for sea food, actually I'm craving some--"

"you're in luck then! ahem, it's 26% off due to a special event for today."

pro tip: keep insisting to eat at other places cause he's gonna keep increasing the discount by 2% until you eventually relent. once, you made him go to the point of 75% off, it's almost hilarious if not for the fact it only worked once.

now he won't go last 50!

ahem. if you look closely you can almost spot tiny cracks accumulating with each denial you respond with, and each increase of his discount. he's grown to be wary about the bullshit 'lucky' promos you just happen to stumble on.

last time you did he practically lost a week's worth of the presumed income he's predicted cause you actually went around and told your first year friends about it... who.. in turn told some, other friends of theirs about it and you could guess.

love must hurt.. and unfortunately it's his wallet wailing.

but azul is not so easily swayed by this! for you have swayed him first! *wink wonk*

but azul has another trick up his sleeve... keeping on roping jade and floyd into it; whom are far too enthusiastic cause finally— something fun to do! someone to bother! not only have you got the most stubborn octopus having frequent suspicious 'deals' but here are his equally suspicious lackeys.

who keeps.. talking about fried octopus..

yeah, you're not sure if preaching about azul’s species is the job they were assigned.

they're fairly easy to point in the right direction anyways. the tweels have always associated you with the word 'fun' so just a little, friendly suggestion from and they were off to their merry way. mortifying every single person you come across with their sudden attachment.

one of their tricks? following you around. and just somehow, every single place you enter is just mysteriously full even though you peered inside and there was like 7 tables empty. what are they hosting? ghosts? spirits?

...

they do look like they've seen some though..

jade rn: "a shame indeed, you must be hungry. why don't we escort you back to monstro lounge?" :)

long story short you can't even reply cause the sleek eel is already guiding you around by the use of his hands on your shoulders. just to make sure you don't stray away from the destination, he says.

"didn't you say that yesterday's promo was like, a one day thing?" you quirk a brow, and you almost fool yourself into thinking he flinched.

azul clears his throat. "well—today is.. the month before you've graced octavinelle with your assistance—"

he praises himself for his quick thinking.

COME ON! it doesn't matter if you're sick of eating stir fried shrimp, or the butter one, or every single dish they serve that includes shrimp! (also do not mention that you ate somewhere else before you just decide to visit his dorm because that establishment just mysteriously got filed a non-legal business report.)

then you've got floyd chasing you around with a fork. which is more terrifying because he's holding it in a notion that would seem like he'd just stab down at you when he catches up with your little goose chase.

it's just.. you're not sure if your stomach could take another bite of the poor food he stabbed into, and is now chasing you around with.

you screech. "JADE PLEASE."

the man shrugs. "it's a free taste."

"AZUL."

"... only on a condition of course."

frankly. it took all the balls he had to actually sputter out the most simplest sentence ever, cause during the time he rehearsed that in front of his mirror it just plagued him with embarrassment but he's getting desperate.

'I'd like to take you out to dinner, somewhere else of course.'

actually, maybe obliterating any possible craving for the food of his lounge just might've been part of his plans to ask you out..?

leona (prevents you from actually being productive via dragging you down to 'nap' every. single. time.)

"I will literally fail if you don't let go of me right now."

"hmph. so what? it's not like failing a grade killed anyone."

"leona just because you've lived through a lot of fails doesn't mean I have to, we're not all rich enough to not finish school."

to which he'd retaliate that all you'd need is to marry him and you'd be set for life.

there is no winning an argument with leona when it comes to his naps. if he states that you're to be next to him as he sleeps, its final. no buts, no retaliations, cause apparently they're all invalid according to him even if you drag him to court.

rhetorically of course, that if its a comical court scene his only statements are; 'well you're wrong', 'who cares', and 'i dont care'. one way or another he's still gonna win you over and now you're fit snugly in his arms, lamenting.

and if crowley chastises you for not doing the errands (via leona's common interference.) the only thing you need to honestly do is to complain to leona about it and suddenly crowley has the kindness to forgive you for your 'laziness' then says something about enjoying your time together?

leona's work no doubt.

you suppose he does has its perks. even if most of it isn't exactly ideal.

if you're being smart then you should give him an ultimatum or something, or bribe him. but... that really has no guarantee to work either cause you're ending up defeated, or just defeated and flustered since he's somehow unconsciously flirty.

at the end of the day you can't really hate him cause the following day you find out he sent an already sleep deprived ruggie to do your work. 'so you can shut your fussing up and let me enjoy you.' he says, and you quote.

it goes something like;

"if i finish my work i'll stick by you all day."

a stready flow of confidence keeps your voice firm as you glower down at the blank-faced leona sat on the grass. he merely tilts his head, raising a brow at you and seemingly pondering from the way his eyes fly to the sky.

you'd think that maybe your plan actually worked but he merely grunts and flops backwards, holding the back of his head with his palms as he laid. and! he ignores you.

...this little greedy man... "why should i care whether or not you finish your work?" he huffs, like the evil, arrogant spawn he is but you can't really defend yourself cause said evil spawn bewitched you so much that you actually still like him.

"because you care about me?"

"...fine," he scowls, releasing a breath you'd mistake for irritation. "then, do you really think i need you to finish your work when i can just keep you right here?"

you sulk. "i'll do anything you want?"

he deadpans as if you said something stupid. "i don't need you to anything else but sit still and be pretty."

...

...

see what i mean about him eventually winning you over? yeah.

next morning there's a rebellion in savanaclaw about overworked residents and ruggie is the head of them.

"he said that he doesn't need you today." <- ruggie, steering you away.

"really?" <- you, confused

riddle (overthinks TOO HARD.)

“I'm just a little busy.”

“I understand,” riddle says.

“I'm just a little busy.” he understands.

“a little busy.” its just… a small thought…

“I'm just busy.” his mind is a hazard at this point. 

for someone as supposedly maintained as riddle—you'd think his mind is as composed as it is organized. like the pens you'd perfectly align in correlation to order of colors, or the neat pile of clothing folded neatly, tucked in some corner in your closet that is farther in since it's used less.

that's just how he is, or at least seems to be. a bundle of organized thoughts, every thought connected to another. a mind too clean to be going on haywire (when he isn't in a particular mood, that is.)

you're just busy. he thinks. you said it yourself, with that agonizingly nice smile that must be sprinkled with some kind of spell from the way it just eradicated all the protests in his throat upon sight. he isn't one to question it, he wants to help but not if you don't ask.

he can only stare with resigned acceptance at your insomnia induced eyes.

but when the curtain of darkness befalls night raven college, even in the comfort of heartslabyul is he still thinking about that thought–and he can’t help but wonder; why exactly are you busy? its not that he’s suddenly hyper aware of your lack of presence since you’ve been attached to the hip the previous week and now you’re just.

…busy…

riddle likes to think of himself as a level-headed, private person. like the boy he raised himself to be and therefore proud of. but its way past 10AM. which is usually the time he sleeps, and let me tell you that he’s never once broke the cycle for years. yet here he is, a frown of frustration present on his face as he wills his mind to sleep.

somehow closing his eyes felt forced, he immediately snapped them open once his mind decides to conjure an image of you even in the darkness his lids offers.

“THIS IS ABSURD.”

and the yell promptly woke up the entire dorm from the ferocity of his scream. (and of course gave them the flashback of their year.)

that night was one of the worst he’s ever had because he woke up with red rimmed eyes and a pounding headache that ensured his bad mood the rest of the day.

everyone noted to steer clear.

and he unknowingly steered clear of yours since you were ‘busy.’

“why are you sulking?” a voice queried, spoken as though they were eating something as they asked. a reprimand rises in his throat, but it all just dies down once his sharp eyes settle on you, slipping into the seat in front of him then raising a brow and the traces of irritation practically evaporates from his eyes.

he feels the need to cough–so he does. “i’m– i’m not.” he clears his throat, avoiding your eyes but still sneaking in glances, something he notes is that you’re still looking everytime he does. (and boring an unimpressed face because he knows you don’t believe him at all.)

guilt rises in his mind, because he feels a slither of annoyance and its the presence of pettiness that bothers him. riddle knows you’re not at fault, just his mind at convincing that you just somehow decided in the span of a day that you might not like him anymore–so he can’t help the bite. 

“why are you here?” a glance not intended to look mean.

“i thought you were busy.” he adds.

your brows raise, he spots your teeth holding your lips back from showing your grin and he feels warm. “what?” he hisses defensively, despite you not even having replied to him yet.

he leans backwards, straightening up in his seat when your chin leans forward, resting on your intertwined fingers. you flash him a smile. 

“mr. rosehearts, are you perhaps… sulking because i’m busy?”

“no!”

silence.

“no.” he repeats, weaker.

“well,” you continue, beaming. “i heard from ace that you were awake the entire night, and that you kept him awake too. are you alright?” 

he sputters. “it wasn’t because of you!”

you snort. “i didn’t even say anything about me.”

so you incline to following riddle around, poking fun at him and still trailing after the seemingly enraged red head because despite his angry protests, demanding you to go away because you’re annoying he keeps glancing back to see if you’ll follow,

so cute…….

[rrcenic]

if they had tumblr on the lotf island simulator bc silly :))

🐚 thechief Follow

God I love him so much. Every time we kiss I feel so alive.

🔥 csharpmf Follow

cringe

🐚 thechief Follow

…this is literally about us

🔥 csharpmf Follow

OOOH FUCK I DIDNT READ THE USERNAME

#SORRY BABE OMFG #PLS FORGIVE ME WE CAN HAVE A PARTY W MY HUNTERS ON THE BEAJCH

(9 notes)

🦎 helloitssimon Follow

found a ton of these beautiful leaves and made a flower crown!!

🦎helloitssimon Follow

so. piggy has informed me that the rash on my arms and head is due to the posion ivy ive been wearing for a week.

#everything itches :,(

(23 notes)

🐷 number1ralphstan Follow

Greetings and salutations! This is my first official Tumblr post. My name is Peter. I use primarily he/him pronouns but do not mind they/them.

If you’re a supporter of J*ck or The H*nters DNI!!! I am a Ralph supporter!!! You choir boys make me sick!!!

I have asthma and I am gay. If you insult me, or call me fat, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!!!

If you are anti-Ralph, I’m not afraid to call you out as the CONCHPHOBE you are!

Lastly: DO NOT CALL ME PIGGY. IT IS NOT MY NAME

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

lmaoooo kys piggy

🐷 number1ralphstan Follow

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

#I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW #YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF #tw h*nters #tw conchphobia #tw j*cks tribe

(341 notes)

👬 sam-and-eric-the-twins-alt-account Follow

#we’re personally more ralph-leaning #but not picky

(15,326 notes)

🔳 mulberry-boy-deactivated

t hebeasty i know it’s there i lnow the hel p help theyre is a beastie pleas

😭 PercivalWemdeysMadison Follow

hey op are you ok

😭 PercivalWemdeysMadison Follow

OP WHAT DOES THIS MEAN PLEASE

#I AM AFRAID

(40k notes)

🤡 sillybillymaurice Follow

brooo my homies @xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx and @csharpmf were talking about their kill streaks and i said “do you play on an open server or a private world” and they just looked confused 😭😭😭 like bro did. were. were you not taking about minecraft????

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

🙂

🤡 sillybillymaurice Follow

girlie help?????

#ur so silly like wtf

(12 notes)

🔥 csharpmf Follow

bro check out this fire art i whipped up this afternoon 💪💪💪 nothin much just a quick doodle 💪💪💪

🐷 number1ralphstan Follow

Hey OP. Maybe do some research on famous art before attempting to plagiarize the Mona fucking Lisa. You disgusting credit thief.

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

maybe you should learn what a joke is lmao

(31k notes)

🐚 thechief Follow

This is your daily reminder to take care of yourself! Drink water and eat some pig! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT LET THE SIGNAL FIRE GO OUT!!!

🔥 csharpmf Follow

…i forgor

🐚 thechief Follow

ISTFG

#literally so pissed /srs

(2,176 notes)

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

i am #strong. i am #emo. i listen to #mychemicalromance. i am #dark

*lifts black hair off face, revealing black eyeshadow* i cannot feel love. i care about no one. because i am #EMO!!!! /srs

🦎 helloitssimon Follow

:(

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

no!!! don’t be sad- *bites black lipstick covered lip and glances away* i… i love you

🦎helloitssimon Follow

:)

🐷 ralphsnumber1stan Follow

Oh my God. And you call ME cringe.

#no hate on Simon even though he’s a weirdo #but Roger is like a different breed of freaky #tw h*nters #tw j*cks tribe #tw conchphobia

(865 notes)

[a-twistedheartslonging]

IM LOVING UR NONHUMAN AU.

Do you think Crowley would be protective of us? Maybe fend off the beasties that try to court us?

That's a cute thought.

Realistically, Crowley is a dick that often leaves the protagonist to fend for their self and pushes them to take care of dangerous stuff that they really shouldn't have to.

But on the other hand…hehe birb dad.

One of the reasons he avoids us is because of the whole us “wanting a way home thing.”

Imagine his surprise when you tell him you would rather stay. Maybe you don't have a family, maybe the family you have is horrible, or maybe it's because our world is a polluted mess with a cruddy economy. Regardless it means he doesn't have to (pretend) to put in the work of sending you home. 

Well, as long as there's a place for you to stay that is. He is sort of your guardian and it would be in the best interest of himself and the entire school if you stayed.

Now a thing I like to think about…this man is likely lonely. I mean, a lot of people don't like the guy. (for good reason) The students and teachers are tired of his shit, though he and Trien seem to be homies and have tea together, the guy’s cat still hates him. Crowley also doesn't have a mate or any hatchlings waiting at home for him.

Combine the guilt trip of having nowhere else to go, add his loneliness, and then butter the guy up. I would say you have a good chance of getting him attached.

Imagine he sees you heading his way and is about to screw off cuz he doesn't want to deal with whatever thing you need to get fixed or have to complain about, you catch the sleeve of his coat before he can, and so he braces himself. But instead of asking him for something or scolding him you simply ask him about his day and how he's doing.

Birdman is shook.

Bit by bit the tasks and chores he gives you are ones where you'll be around him or he’ll randomly pop in to check in on you while doing them. Soon you end up being the preferred person for making and bringing him his tea. He pretends to nap on his office couch while you do his paperwork. May even ask you to help him file his claws on occasion. If it wasn't so dire for you to take care of things at the school he would be half tempted to bring you along on one of his vacations. If you give him anything it's going on his desk and he will brag about it to anyone who enters his office.

His cheap ass isn't going to spoil you but he will bring you small gifts. Usually the random shiny thing and small souvenir from his trips away. You might start finding loose feathers around Ramshackle and more crows around who also bring small things.

He starts thinking up plans for you to stay on as official faculty of the school once graduating. Of course, it's only because you are super useful and not because he’ll miss you or anything…

It doesn't really hit him until after he sees one of the teachers getting all father figure-y with you and he gets jealous.

Displeased bird noises.

Even before he started to get attached to you he did keep an eye on you, your easy prey amongst beasts after all, but he does develop a habit of popping in more when a boy happens to show his interest in you…or anytime he thinks someone is trying to sneak in and swipe his unofficial dad role…he does a lot of that with Crewel and Trien in particular.

Still, even with his affection for you, he’s still very much…him and the boys know this. Not long till he finds the more well-off beasty boys in his office offering donations to the school in exchange for certain things. More info about you, making you a member of his dorm, ect. A few have learned that the best thing to butter him up with is to talk about what a kind and generous father figure he is and how lovely it would be for Crowley to give the perfect away on their wedding day.

As a result, he, and probably Grim, are going to nudge you toward certain preferred suitors.

[red-viewe]

general lilia x reader thoughts 🔫 (part three 👌)

COLORED LETTERS IS FAE LANGUAGE, (tw swearing)

Part 2 part 1

"Please pay attention to me, your grace~" a young lady says as she touches Lilia seductively, before he pushes her away and walks away, rolling his eyes.

'Ew.'

"C'mon, Duke! Look alive! You're the famous general, you should enjoy the fame!" A soldier playfuly shouts, as the party gets louder and louder.

The war has finally ended after 3 years, peace taking over both sides of the war. The borders are open, and many expected years of prosperity and peace.

'3 years since I've seen them, 3 years since I've felt their warmth.' Lilia sighs, massaging his temples.

'Just a few more days until i see them.

Just a few more days....'

----

"Y/n, my love and life, please take this ring and marry m-"

"Absolutely not." You slam the door, annoyed. It's been 3 years since Lilia left, and the war ended, meaning that men and women are coming back home to see their families, some looking to start one. As a hot asf, unmarried, somewhat financially stable person, you were expected to be popular among the marriage market in both women and men.

'Dude, i did not know i had this much game.' You thought, peeking out the window to see a line of people waiting at your door. 'WTF I DON'T KNOW HALF THESE PEOPLE. IT'S LITERALLY 3 IN THE MORNING. '

Sighing, you quickly pulled out a peice of paper, writing in bold, thick letters, 'NOT ACCEPTING MARRIAGE PROPOSALS' and stuck it onto the window.

'What if he forgot about me? Should i just give up on waiting?' Fuck no. Why would you do that to lilia?

'Genuinely fuck this shit.' You sighed, going back to sleep.

-----

'Knock knock knock'

'Ugh, dude i swear, if it's another suitor I'm moving.'

You slowly walk to the door, opening the door.

"I said no more suitors! Read the god damn sign!" You say, annoyed, looking up to see a man with long, black hair with red highlights. You slam the door, and go to walk back to your room.

'Wait.' You pause to think. (For once)

Long black hair with red- OMG YOU JUST SLAMED THE DOOR ON LILIA.

You rush back to the door, now fully awake and quickly open the door.

"LIlia!" You jump to hug the fae, his eyes widened at the sudden embrace.

"Beastie! I thought you forgot who i was. How mean of you to slam the door on your love." He hugs you back, pouting and nuzzling his face into your neck with warm cheeks.

"W-we don't talk about that..." You look away, embarrassed.

"Pft, it's quite alright, my love." He pulls you in for a soft, deep kiss. "So I hear you had many suitors, hmm? Planning to marry someone who's not me?" Lilia smirks, pulling away to cup your cheek.

"I swear i can explain-"

-----

"And thats how me and your mother/father met snd fell in love." Lilia giggles at the memory, "Ahh, young love." A young silver haired boy looks at his father, now filled with questions.

"But father, but isn't y/n a human? How can they live so l"ong? Also, what happened to all the suitors? And the bar?"

"Hmm, now now, silver, that's too complicated for your young mind to understand. I shall tell you when you are of age." Lilia smiles, as he rocks the boy to sleep.

"Everytime you tell that story, Silver always ends uo falling asleep." You walk in, taking Silver from Lilia's arms to transfer him to his spiderbat bed.

"It's our love story dear, I'll tell it again and again untill the whole world knows how we fell in love."

"You're lucky I love you, you cheeky bat." You pout, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

"I love you too, beastie."

----

Authors notes :D

I THOUGHT I PUBLISHED THIS BEFORE GOING CAMPING IM SO SRRY

Also this is probably the end of the general lilia x read thoughts series, but I'll definitely be making more stories on other characters and lilia.

Also if you guys want side stories on this series lmk(Requests r always open btw GIMMIE UR IDEAS)

(Taggies: (SRRY IF UR TAG DIDNT WORK) @rainingdandelion @rincommittedarsin

@ayachansan @sugarkitty839 @oogly-oogly @rainbowcake1212 @kitsune25 @ninjalizards

@thi3u @nico707 @mistuna @otomyoli @syndyj @ftyaftya @secret-potion @cottage-clockwork @raaawwwr

[catboymoments]

*kicks door down* is there a possibility we can see ur cool ass witchsona aka a 2023 Frances Acrewitch??

Here’s an updated design for the beastie!!! I love them

[william-solace-aaaaa]

My Maurice x The Beast smut, as promised (this is all a joke) @chbs-feral-gremlin @nico-di-angelo-aaaaa @averagehopelessguy :

"Wow Mr Beasty-weasty, ur so smoking hawt" Said Maurice as he was pinned against the wall by The Beast's big, strong and fluffy arms. "Rawr baby grill, I know u love my smexy bod. Now take off ur clothes, u don't wanna keep daddy waiting...😈😈😈" The Beast said in a low, seducktive voice. "Ovc my pookie wookie bear🥴" He said as he yeeted his smexy old-man clothes. When he was finaly nakey The Beast then told the candle dude that was watching and to stop jacking off the clock guy and give him some lube. Then Mr candle man pulled a bottle of lube out of his but which he was using as a butt plug and gave it to The Beast. The Beast then took all his colthes off while making out with Mauriece and then put the lube on his fingers. He then shoved 3 of them in. "Ahh~ uwu daddy, f-feels so gud😩" Maurice moaned. "Rawr" then The Beast pulled out his fingers after 10 muinets and put the lube on his pp and put it up Maurice's bumhole. "Meow🥺," he moaned loundly as The Beast put his beast in and out of his fastly. "Rawr bbg ima cum😣" The Beast said in a dark, raspy voice. "Me 2-" he said just as he exploeded into plaeshure. He then comed and The Beast cummed, and them 1 year later they had 238,719,291 little baby pup-dog-human things. The End.

(I'm dying, help this is so funny)

[teecupangel]

Hey beastie, im sorry if you’re too swamped with requests but i had this remembrance of a fic from way back when. I think it was a oneshot but essentially it was Desmond returning back in time after touching the eye but it was to an alternate timeline/universe where it’s ABO but his biology is still standard with no second gender. Just curious on ur take and how you can spin this with his ancestors-thank you!

(I’m still swamped by requests/asks/reblogs but I’m slowly making a dent on it. As long as you guys don’t mind that there’s like… a month-ish delay for your asks/reblogs to be answered then feel free to keep sending me asks or reblogging/commenting on my posts with your idea and additions :))

I have not read that kind of A/B/O story but let’s see how we can make… Desmond suffer (affectionately).

So let’s set up some backstory first: Desmond’s world does not have the biological markers of A/B/O. This can either mean (1) Desmond didn’t time travel, he was kicked into an alternate universe where this world has A/B/O so Desmond has no idea about it or (2) by the 21st century, A/B/O markings have already been ‘wiped out’ by the passage of time and the ‘evolution’ of mankind (that may or may not be part of the Isus’ calculations) so Desmond has ideas about it but doesn’t necessarily understand it.

Backstory (1) would give us a way to explain to the readers how A/B/O works in this world using Desmond’s lack of knowledge as our basis as well as give Desmond a lot of scenes of just being confused or forgetting about it. Backstory (2) would give Desmond a bit of a break as he’d have an idea of what the hell is happening all around him.

Regardless of whichever backstory we use, we will of course make Altaïr, Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton ‘alphas’ in this one.

Alright, let’s see how we can screw Desmond up with each of them XD (warning… this also talks about their sex life… a bit)

AltDes:

So, first of all, Altaïr and Malik are alphas and Kadar is either a beta or an omega. Abbas is also an alpha (although it would be funny to make him a beta) and Al Mualim is also an alpha. The main idea is, the further Desmond goes back in time, the more alphas and omega there are.

Desmond would confuse Altaïr a lot because he doesn’t feel the urge to be aggressive around Desmond for not bowing down to him that he would get when he’s around other alphas but Desmond isn’t submissive like an omega or deferring to him like a beta. Desmond treats him like an equal without acting like he needs to show he’s better than Altaïr which has always been his problem with other Alphas (even Al Mualim make Altaïr’s alpha instincts want to show dominance).

However, Desmond also smells… really, really nice. Altaïr can’t describe it and the only explanation he can give is that Desmond smells like ‘home’.

Desmond, on the other hand, has no idea what the hell Altaïr is talking about concerning scenting and such because Desmond doesn’t smell anything funny. Even when he tries to smell Altaïr (which both confuses and also arouses Altaïr), all he can smell is the oil he used for his hidden blade, the smell of his robes and Altaïr’s own scent which just… smells fine? Like… it’s okay?

Altaïr falls for Desmond because of Desmond’s dismissal to the hierarchy that has long ruled over their second gender and finds himself attracted to Desmond’s personality. He falls in love because Desmond is his equal and there is no need for either of them to even try to take the other down to be the one on top.

Although, this is one where Altaïr usually tops, mainly because Desmond knew he prefers it. Desmond is also the only person Altaïr is willing to bottom for.

EziDes:

Ezio would actually assume Desmond is a beta that is using a scent blocker for a while.

He would only realize that Desmond isn’t a beta because of Desmond does his own thing and just raises an eyebrow whenever Ezio tries to use his ‘alpha voice’ to get Desmond to try and cooperate with him.

Ezio would be the one who would have the hardest time with his feelings for Desmond because he was raised with the idea that alphas must mate with omegas (something that this world’s church advocates for and the Auditores were raised with those ideas) and he wants the kind of alpha-omega marriage his parents had (if you want more drama, ‘enter Lorenzo’ to make Ezio question just how 'perfect' his parents' marriage was XD).

After Ezio learns that Desmond is the one Minerva is talking about, he gets this idea that Desmond has no secondary gender because he’s a divine being. This gets more complicated when they learn that Isus don’t have secondary genders as well (and that the Isus made humans with secondary genders to make it easier to control them but they only made betas and omegas, the first alpha was Eve who ‘transformed’ when she became a hybrid). It's after Ezio learned of Desmond's connection to the 'Isus' (sorta) that Ezio realizes why Desmond smells like 'hope' to him.

Ezio finally gets his head out of the sand after Desmond confesses to him that he loves him and Ezio realizes that he doesn’t want an alpha-omega marriage anymore. All he wants is a future with Desmond by his side.

These two are the ones that tend to switch a lot. Even as an alpha, Ezio is game with anything as long as it’s fun and pleasurable. He’s more of a power bottom though because he can’t help it.

ConDes:

Ratonhnhaké:ton actually thought that Desmond not having a secondary gender is a quirk that happens with the colonizers. It’s only when he sees that the other colonizers think Desmond is weird that he realizes that Desmond is an ‘anomaly’.

He doesn’t care about it though because Desmond has been a loyal friend since they met and, sure, he knows Desmond isn’t saying everything but he trusts him.

Ratonhnhaké:ton is actually the most relaxed with Desmond because he doesn’t feel the urge to dominate that is common with alphas. It’s just… peaceful. And that's what Desmond smells like to him: 'peace'.

This is more of the side of friend to lovers kind of deal with both of them not realizing that they’re falling in love with one another until they’re in too deep.

Ratonhnhaké:ton would also be the one to have the least amount of angst about Desmond’s lack of a secondary gender as he believes in the actions people make, not of what they’re supposed to be.

Desmond honestly forgets about the whole secondary gender thing the most in this one because Ratonhnhaké:ton doesn’t try to flaunt it or anything. He thinks a lot of alphas are just dicks, forgetting that it’s encoded in their genes to want to be the dominant one even in normal conversations. The way some of the alphas do try to do it? Yeah, that’s just them being dicks, has nothing to do with being an alpha.

Haytham thinks that their relationship is strange though and might even think it’s because of how Ratonhnhaké:ton was raised (although both Ratonhnhaké:ton and Desmond aren’t sure if Haytham is insulting Ratonhnhaké:ton’s village or Achilles?) but he tries to be polite to Desmond when he and Ratonhnhaké:ton are working together.

Desmond gets into Haytham’s nerves a lot, mainly because Desmond is doing it on purpose because he knows Ratonhnhaké:ton’s feelings for Haytham (and that childhood desire to have a father) stops him from saying what Haytham needs to hear.

The Homestead doesn’t care about how strange Desmond and Ratonhnhaké:ton’s relationship is as all they care about is that the two are happy (plus the two of them helped everyone one way or another so they know they’re good people)

Ratonhnhaké:ton has never thought about bottoming before but he wants to try it for Desmond. It just takes a bit of a time for him to ready his ‘heart’ though.

Sorta dark addition:

So there’s this thing called ‘bitching’ which is mainly used to make an alpha into an omega and it’s usually in the realms of noncon or really questionable dubcon. I’m just thinking if it’s possible to make Desmond who has no secondary gender into an omega by ‘bitching’ him? Probably not because his body doesn’t have any marks of a secondary gender (unless…) so maybe the help of a POE would be needed as well (like the Shroud that we know deal with the physical body). Of course, this is a slippery slope that can either make this idea quite dark (and, ngl, it would work well with a dark!Altaïr who wants to have a family with Desmond) or this has to have Desmond’s full consent first and the main idea isn’t that Desmond wants to be an omega to preserve the hierarchy or order of things or whatever but because they want to have a child of their own. Of course, the bitching doesn’t have to happen to Desmond in this route… XD

[byanyan]

not to keep shoving fc content on ur dashes tonight but in case u were wondering, no, I'm still not over this shit

[eebie]

All of your posts are like fever dreams /pos

idk what this it but i love it

looks at u with big wet slulful eyes

[creekfiend]

i am having a Rather Large Crisis about Kind Of Everything but i don't need to leave for work (where the distractions live) for another hour so i am distracting myself from the Everything via your beafts so. thank u i love ur little pointy dog shes very good and so is grandma. thank u for sharing ur animals on the internet so that we may look upon them

ENORMOUS MOOD DUDE I am sorry to hear it and very glad that the beasties are helping you regulate thru your Rather Large Crisis