#i love to hear about what people eat it's deranged

[manny-jacinto]

The French will build a whole identity around pastries and them not have afternoon too smh

french people are built on contradictions

we are OBSESSED with food, it's the most important thing in the world for us and YET. we have this obsession of being healthy and thin. so you can imagine how this whole idea clashes when the entirety of our dishes consists of oil, crème fraiche, butter, wine and pastries

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Emily: “I’m really sorry Vaggie didn’t feel comfortable coming back here. If there’s anything I can do to change that-”

Charlie: “Probably not! It was kinda a sign of her endless love for me that she visited haven again at all!”

Emily: “Oh! Oh that’s nice!!”

Charlie: “Which I NEVER would have asked her to do anyway, if I’d KNOWN the truth about her history up here!”

Emily: “Right. I’m so sorry about that too, by the-”

Charlie: “I mean, I’m not the kind of girl who askes her girlfriend to go spend an afternoon sitting across from the people who ripped off her wings! And her eye! And left her slumped against a dumpster looking half dead!”

Emily: “A… dumpster?”

Charlie: “Making the woman you love relive all that without even rEALIZING it would be pretty fucked up, wouldn’t it??”

Emily: “V- very.”

Charlie: “IT HYPOTHETICALLY COULD MAKE SOMEONE FEEL KINDA TERRIBLE AFTERWARDS, DON’T YOU THINK?”

Emily: “I’m sure it did!”

Charlie: “H Y P O T H E T I C A L L Y”

Emily: “Could! I could see that, yes, if it HAD happened, that would’ve been…”

Emily: “…”

Emily: “Are you- um, is she, errr.. doing better now?”

Charlie: “SO much better she’s doing SO great these days!!!!”

IN HELL

Vaggie: (lying face down on the hotel lobby floor) “I promise I won’t stop helping you morons when she dumps me. I won’t let her dream die just because I was dumb enough to think I could be part of it.”

Angel Dust: “That’s nice toots.”

Vaggie: “Thanks.”

Angel Dust: “Not sad or stupidly gay or anythin’.”

Vaggie: “Thanks.”

Cherri Bomb: “Sad? Angie, it’s perfect!” (takes picture) “I’ve been thinking this place could use a new rug…”

Niffty: (stepping on vaggie) “Squishy!”

Husk: “Get the fuck off her.” (at vaggie) “You, get the fuck UP.”

Vaggie: “Why.”

Alastor: “Hmmm, because this is PAINFULLY pathetic to watch, even for me?”

Vaggie: “Guess I’ll be here forever then.”

Angel Dust: “Vag-GAY c’mon, ya girlfirend’s not gonna dump ya. What’s the competition even!?”

Vaggie: “There’s an angel up in heaven who's helping Charlie work towards her life long dreams as we speak, and she's taller than me, got more wings than me, not as stabby as me, and also not a mass murderer or a liar or missing an eye.”

Cherri Bomb: "Hey!"

Vaggie: "No offence to the other one-eyed ladies here, but it's different when you've got a fucked up empty eye socket."

Niffty: (sighs dreamily) "I bet losing it hurt soooo baaaaad..."

Vaggie: "Never telling my girlfriend why I'd actually lost it or how it made me look like the deranged murder angel I was, even while she tried kissing it better for me, ended up hurting way worse."

Angel Dust: “That's a point….”

Angel Dust: “...alright, so Charlie’s PROBABLY not gonna dump ya-”

Niffty: “Oh that’s a weird sound!” (giggling) (bounces on vaggie) “I think she’s dying~”

Husk: “If you fucks kill her, I’m telling her demon princess girlfriend and pouring myself a drink to go with your fucking tormented howls.”

Vaggie: (muffled) “what if she’s my ex-girlfriend”

Husk: “…I’ll pour you a fucking drink and listen to your tormented howls.”

Niffty: “ME TOO I’LL LISTEN TOO!”

Alastor: “Dear one, perhaps if you were NOT standing on her skull and compressing her WRETCHED cries into the floor, we could be hearing them already.”

Niffty: “Whoops~ Heheheeh~”

Cherri Bomb: (recording it) “Damn, that groan’s been going on for ages… Bitch has some lung capacity on her.”

Angel Dust: “Point one for Vag-gay! Probs as good eating out as ya are at HOLDING out on ya girl!!!”

Vaggie: “uuuughhh…uaauuugghhaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaahhhhrrrgh..” (whimpers)

Niffty: “Okay.” (GIGGLES) “NOW she’s dying~” (bounces)

IN HEAVEN

Charlie: “Everything’s totally fine I have NO idea why you’d even ASK!”

Emily: “You’ve spent the entire time up here staring at pictures of Vaggie on your phone?”

Charlie: “I’m allowed to look at my girlfriend!”

Emily: “While crying and sniffling into your sleeve?”

Charlie: (sobbing) (desperately patting down her jacket) “SHE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS WHICH OF MY POCKETS HAS THE HANDKERCHIEF IN IT, OKAY??”

Emily: (smiling) “I think you two are going to be just fine.”

Charlie: (BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY INTO JACKET SLEEVE, which catches on FIRE)

Emily: “…..not your clothes, though. You might need a new set of those.”

[redr0sewrites]

Can you write Vox x reader where like the reader just says like really unhinged things and just like vile things whenever they rage and stuff like the internet could be slow or smth and the reader is just like “IM GOING TO RIP OFF MY SKIN” idk man I’m kinda just self projecting rn like you can right anything with it tbh idk sorry for rambling anyway you don’t have to do this if you don’t wanna

THIS IS SO MEEEEE I LOVE THIS IDEA SM!!! sorry it took me a hot minute to reply to this i have over 70 hazbin hotel requests in my inbox 😭

🥀Cw: fluff, crack, silly vox

when he first met you, vox was charmed by your seemingly sweet nature- that is, until you were pissed

your unholy screech of how you were going to rip off your skin if he cut the wifi again was both endearing and confusing in his eyes

vox would just short circuit for a second, just blinking at you while he tries to process what you just said

once it clicks, he just starts giggling. vox very rarely genuinely laughs, most of his laughs are professional or part of the persona he adopts as the leader of vox enterprises, but when he's so shocked by what you just said, he can't control the booming laughter thay fills the room

he's wheezing and gasping, each barking laugh only pissing you off more

"what's so funny? if you keep laughing i am going to fucking break ur fingers like carrot sticks!" you snap, and vox only giggles harder

after a few seconds, you can't help but notice how adorable his laughter is, and soon you don't mind it as much

once you two are officially together, you notice how stressed vox often is, yet how he seems to visibly relax around you

the batshit crazy things you say, which normally disgusts other people, only seem to amuse him

its actually a wonderful dynamic because you bring some spontaneity and slight insanity into vox's otherwise irritating and depressing lifestyle, and vox balances out the crazy things you say and calms you down every time

you often find yourself searching for new phrases to baffle him with, and for new ways to make him laugh

after vox has a stressful day, he enjoys just listening to you ramble about the most insane things and adores hearing whatever fucked up saying you've adopted recently

vox notices himself beginning to copy your speech patterns. he only begins to realize when he slips in an exceptionally odd metaphor into a work meeting and everyone stares at him, yet his heart skips a beat at the thought

there's something so charming to him about the fact that he's adopting your mannerisms, and you truly make him laugh when no one else can

whenever another one of the vees pisses him off, he always comes to you for advice on incredibly deranged comebacks, and you never disappoint!

he's won multiple arguments by just repeating one of your fucked up sayings and the other vees being too lowkey shocked to disagree

vox LOVES IT when you diss people he hates, hearing you ramble some fucked up insults about alastor made him fall in love with you all over again

"that worm on a string fucked up karen cut bob looking ass- if i see him around here again im going to eat a fucking brick" *cue vox looking at you with the biggest heart eyes*

overall, you are both menaces, but you're menaces in love ♥️

vox lay with his head in your lap, the blue light of his screen illuminating the dim room as you rambled mindlessly about your day.

"and THEN, this fucking asshole tried to flirt with me! ME!! as if he doesn't know were dating! ugh, it makes me feel like i have an entire beehive living beneath my skin. i swear if he even looks at me again im going to lick wet cement i can NOT deal. how can you even work with him? he's such a fucking CREEP voxy, i'm going to cut off those ugly ass wings and shove them so far down his throat- hey, are you even listening?"

you look down to see vox half asleep, his eyelids drooping as his light dimmed. "keep talking.." he murmurs, looking up at you with a lazy smile on his face. "you're my favorite person t' listen to.."

i love the idea of vox with a partner who challenges his very idea of power. he clearly wraps himself in a sort of persona, surrounding himself with powerful people and acting like he's so serious and important. i love the idea of him falling in love with someone who can break down his walls in seconds, someone who can dismantle his entire bravado act and who allows him to truly be himself. this is such a wonderful prompt and i am eating this up. nonnie ur awesome!!!!

[lu-sn]

if you're still taking prompts, I'd love to hear you talk about Macau seeing through Pete at times when no one else does

PETE AND MACAU MY BELOVEDS!!!

the nice thing about macau is that he's in the mafia and related to vegas and therefore very accustomed to weird mafia shenanigans -- but he's also, like, normal. (relatively speaking.) so he sees pete get up to just-deranged-mafia!things and none of it even registers, but that also means he can cut through all of that mess to pick up on some of the more, ah, normal problems that pete has.

(vegas is not nearly as good at this as macau, because vegas is not normal in the slightest.)

for example. pete doesn't... make choices? he does when he really needs to (e.g. when the alternative is literally killing himself) but he's generally content to be handed things instead of choosing them. for instance, i don't think we ever saw him choose an item of food to eat in canon.

vegas knows this and has probably decided it will be his life mission to deduce exactly what food pete wants at every moment in pete's day without so much as a peep from pete. he will make pete taste-test everything under the sun and will analyze the most minute of pete's microexpressions to death, and then he'll add a pinch of lemongrass and try again. it's a point of pride for him to guess what pete wants correctly and then provide it.

macau, on the other hand, listens to pete go "we can go eat wherever you want, macau," and "i'm happy with whatever you order" for the fifteenth time and goes "dude. you're allowed to say you want something, you know."

(pete immediately bluescreens.)

macau examines him for a bit and then goes, much slower this time, "you're allowed to want things. it's, like, healthy, bro."

idk! i just have the feeling that macau has an uncanny ability to point at a particularly funky peteism and go "phi why are you like this. you really don't gotta be like this." and pete has Never Considered These Things Before, Ever.

macau is going to catch pete deflecting and retort with a "we're talking about you right now, not me." and he's going to watch pete bow and fake-smile at a bitchy authority figure and say "you can just tell him to fuck off, you know. you don't have to put up with that shit."

other people see pete doing these things and it doesn't even process for them as something odd. vegas knows it's odd, and sometimes can't figure out exactly why, and will definitely waffle about getting pete to talk about it. but macau is going to spotlight pete's issues with no remorse. he's gonna look pete in the eye like the blunt teenager he is and say, do you know you're human, too?

[apolloskazoo]

ELLIE & JOEL HEADCANONS PART 2

Here’s the part 2 you people (me) have been asking for. Once again 1k words because I cannot control myself

• When Ellie is looking a little down or bored and Joel isn’t right beside her, he’ll make a silly little face at her from across the room to get her to laugh a little. She always makes one back to get him to laugh, too. They can make each other laugh from literally across the room with one single look. 

• Joel keeps everything Ellie makes. Drawings, school assignments, anything and everything he can get his hands on. He has stacks of papers and other things Ellie has made just lying in his drawer or pinned up on the fridge. Ellie always talks about how lame it is, and how they’re not even good, and blah blah blah, but Joel just snatches that paper right out of her hands and pins it up on the wall because he LOVES HIS DAUGHTER. 

• One time Ellie got a cut, and while Joel was patching it up he jokingly said, “want me to kiss it better?” Ellie doesn’t understand what that even means and Joel has to explain. Now whenever she gets a cut she forces him to kiss it better because 1) it’s funny 2) to make fun of him when he said it the first time and 3) maybe she wants a Joel kiss, is that so much to ask for?

• In Jackson, Ellie learns that hardwood floors and socks can create a Very Fun Activity (sliding around a room in bare socks) and Joel has a near death heart attack every time she does it because he’s convinced she’s going to slide into a wall one day (she does).

• Joel 100% snores SO LOUDLY like the dad he is and Ellie complains about it non-stop, but in reality she can’t fall asleep without the sound of his annoying dad snores, whether they’re right in her ears or coming distantly from down the hall. It helps her know that he’s alive and okay and that he’s with her, and also it’s become like white noise since it was all she could hear during the nights they were traveling (she would tease him endlessly about raiders finding them by the sound of his snoring alone. He did not find it as funny as she did). 

• Joel is known as the “pun guy” by the other adults at Jackson, and whenever there’s a new resident they all tell them that if they have any puns, give them to Joel. The entire reason the name started up was because whenever Ellie was having a bad day, telling her a pun she hadn’t heard before would cheer her up, but he didn’t know enough of them—so, obviously, he went around telling everyone that if they knew any puns, give them to him. He has people approaching him and telling him puns weekly, and he suffers through it just to see the look on Ellie’s face when she’s sad and he tells her them to get her to smile.  

• Ellie eats things off of the floor. Don’t get me wrong, she’s NOT running around grabbing week old pieces of food off of the dirty ground, but she thoroughly believes in the five second rule and not wasting food (because of FEDRA school and not eating on the road and such, but I won’t get into that). So if she drops some food on the ground, she’ll quickly snatch it up and keep eating it, because of old habits. The first time Joel sees her accidentally tip her plate onto the floor, snatch it up in record speed, and keep eating it? He’s horrified. Speechless. Beyond shocked. Ellie Williams? Who? You mean the kid who just ate the same food that landed on the floor five seconds ago like some sort of deranged animal? Yeah, he didn’t know her, she was just some random kid. What do you mean, you saw him walking in with her when they first arrived? He’s never spoken to her a day in his life before, because if he had, he certainly would’ve taught her not to eat off the damn ground. He 100% pulls her aside, dumps the food into the trash, and lectures her on not trying to beat the world record of “person who caught the most sicknesses in under a week.” Ellie doesn’t see the big deal (“at least I’m not wasting food, Joel. And it’s hardly even dirty anyway, it was on the ground for, like, a second”) but after he starts listing off all of the diseases she could get she agrees to stop, if only to get him to stop talking. 

• Joel teaches Ellie how to build and fix things, and essentially teaches her all of the stuff he learned as a contractor and mentors her. He loves teaching it to her because it’s his work and he loves to share it with her, and Ellie loves to learn it, too. When he’s working on houses or repairs in Jackson, she tags along and helps, and she likes feeling like her and Joel share a skill together, plus she thinks building is pretty rad. Also, if she and Joel share work, they get to see each other more often, which is a bonus. They’re building buds. They have matching construction hats. 

• They take walks together, especially during the time when the sun is setting and it’s a bit cooler on hot days. Sometimes they just walk and talk, and other times Ellie brings her sketchbook and Joel brings something to carve and they walk to a river or back to the porch or somewhere peaceful, and they just sit down and do their thing. Joel works on what he’s working on, Ellie draws what’s around her or what’s on her mind. They just exist peacefully beside each other, silently bonding and doing their separate tasks beside one another. 

• Ellie pets every animal she sees. A dog is passing by? Joel, stop walking, she needs to pet him NOW!!!!! Is there a cat in the window? She will spend thirty minutes trying to get the cat to trust her enough that it will let it pet her, and an hour later it’s in her lap purring and whatever she was trying to get to has already closed up, and Joel is running to find her in a panic. She 100% brings a rat home one day and asks Joel if they can keep it (she named it Chef Boyardee Ratvioli. She does not, unfortunately, get to keep it). 

• Alternatively, Joel is such a big lame dad that he has to interact with every baby he sees. A baby is crying? Here, let Joel hold it, he’ll calm it down. Is that baby staring at him as he walks by? He’s waving and when the baby waves back he cannot control his smile. Yes, of course he’ll watch someone’s infant son for a second while they go to the bathroom despite not knowing either of them. Yes, he cries when he holds Tommy’s baby for the first time and yes, Ellie does indeed make fun of him for it (she cried, too, though, don’t listen to her lies). 

• Ellie has a hard time sleeping at night while they’re traveling, so instead of just lying down and struggling to sleep, she talks to Joel every. Night. About everything. She reads him stupid puns. She tells him dinosaur and space facts. She tells him funny made-up stories. She chats about literally everything and anything, and Joel is baffled on how much she can still talk after a whole day of walking. He complains non-stop on how he wants to sleep and she needs to shut up, but eventually he gets used to it and he even, gasp, looks forward to hearing her non-stop nighttime chattering, which usually ends in Ellie talking herself to sleep halfway through a sentence. 

Part 3 only if y’all like these and I get inspired again

[umi-adxhira]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄

𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: I made this on the toilet because I love this manhwa and I need it to come back

Jeremy HATES vegetables like whenever he has lunch or dinner he shoves the veggies to the side and only eats the rest of it

Roxanna hated wearing red before she ikesai'd into TWTPTFLOB because she thought it didn't suit her but now she wears red because it makes her eyes pop

Lant's a biter. Even as a child, he ABSOLUTELY bit his father's leg because he didn't let him have a sleepover at his friend's house

Dion has the best handwriting ever. It's like calligraphy. No one knows where he got it from because they never see him practice he's just good at it ig

Griselda is a collector. Either a set of jewellery or dolls I know in my heart, she lives having her shelves filled with a completed series of novels and collectables

Silvia definitely sings in the shower. Or anywhere, really. I'm thinking Robin from HSR she has a voice people are drawn to and they generally love to hear her sing

Cassis is good at drawing. I headcanon that he sucked ass as a kid but wanted to get better, so he dedicated time to learn how to draw, and now he's the verse's Picasso

Maria is also a collector. But instead of cute things like Griselda, it's eyeballs like what OG Roxanna collected or fingernails like that one girl from Kakeguri

Sierra drinks warm milk before bed. Her parents told her it would make her stronger as a child and never got out of the habit

Ashill used to sleep with teddy bears. He got one as a gift from his mother along with a matching one for Roxanna and never slept a night without his until the day he died

Charlotte skips. Like, idk much about her man she's the type of person to skip along the halls, humming a creepy tune with a deranged face

©️umi-adxhira [13/10/2024]

[kyokikia]

Im curious, do people even write for uta? Do people like uta at all?? If you cant tell, she's my favorite female character! I dont see anyone talking about her 😭😭

i might write for her if someone requests it (when requests are back open) but she might be the only one piece female i would ever write for so, sorry for that

Has anyone else on here watched film red? I wanna talk about it with someone because its one of my favorite movies, currently listening to new genesis as i speak (ado's singing was HEAVENLY in the movie)

Ado's singing is so heavenly, and she honestly captured the supposed greatness of uta's voice PERFECTLY. I watched the movie in sub so i couldnt hear amalee dubbing uts, but honestly, i listened to amalee's covers of the songs, and i think the dub watchers were robbed from hearing amalee's covers. She covered all the songs PERFECTLY! She did the spell part of tot musica perfectly aswell and i adore Amalee's and Ado's works so much!

SPOILERS UNDER KEEP READING FOR ONE PIECE: FILM RED

I think she's a little crazy but i love her a lot, what she did in the movie is honestly justifiable. I love her design so much, i wanna cosplay her but i got my bills to pay 😭 i'll do it once i get extra money tho, anyway, i feel so bad for her because for years she thought that shanks had abandoned her but turns out she was manipulated into singing tot musica by the people of Elegia 😭 i feel so bad knowing on how much she probably blamed herself for what happened but it wasnt her fault at all

Shanks is so selfless i swear, the way he just chose to take the blame instead so uta wouldn't blame herself and so she could make other people happy with her voice aswell 😭♥️

Watching uta descend into madness, as her mental health and physical state reach its absolute lowest was so heartbreaking (but the movie was so cool to watch!)

As you probably know, the wakeshrooms cause the person who eats them to stay awake until they die, and makes them more aggravated and brings out their negative emotions more, so i can see why she became more deranged as the movie went on. i feel so bad for her she deserves better 😭 i see why she was driven into madness after meeting shanks after all those years

Being kept on that island for so many years mustve been so depressing, so she was in a bad mental state most of her life. Kept alone, isolated with the entire world other than Gordon, not knowing anything going on in the world is so sad

I can see why she hates pirates so much, seeing as she cares so much about her fans (that she would trap them in the sing sing world just so they wouldnt have to deal with pirates anymore and for a 'new era' which she had good intentions with, but honestly it wasnt that great of an idea) she had the idea that all pirates were bad, and seeing all her fans sending her video mail about it probably amplified her hatred.

I took notice on how by the time uta had to sing tot musica, she was in her absolute worst mental and physical state, some of the words were linked together some words were messed up, i think ado captured on how much of a terrible state uta was in by the time she was forced to sing the song perfectly, i adore ado's singing in film red so much

I might've misunderstood uta honestly, i might've done her wrong in this post, i also realize this entire post is a rant but oh well i honestly just wanted to talk about her, anyone wanna tell me their thoughts on film red?

[thelesbianpoirot]

could you plz talk about your thoughts on poor things. I havent found the courage to watch it yet and id love to hear your takes on it

I like Yorgos Lanthimos films, he deals in absurd fucked up little worlds, I've seen Lobster, Dogtooth, and The killing of... and enjoyed them. They usually tackle something fucked up in society. How these characters live is deranged, we are also doing these deranged things, but we've normalized it so much that the absurdity on us is lost. Lobster - Our fixation on romantic partnership to the point people who choose not to participate in this societal arrangement as treat unfairly and left out of many areas of society. So where is an absurd situation is where this society forces you to be partnered or you are not human anymore. Killing of a sacred deer (TO ME) was about how we're at the mercy of powerful men with vices (and perversions) that can ruin our life without consequences, the drunk surgeon ruins a family by killing someone, the male doctor has a very scary fetish, assaulting unconscious women etc, when you realize the fallibility of men in charge of our lives, horrifying, so here is an absurd situation where someone has ultimate power and characters have no control. It is horrifying to be powerless to human men. I have been a woman who had to be sedated for a procedure, with a male doctor, my greatest fear was being taken advantage of, it would make me throw up to know my doctor had a fetish for having is wife pretend to be dead/unconscious while they had sex. That is what I took from that film. That is what made it powerful for me. POOR THINGS I thought when people were criticizing it they may not have gotten the satire, (I thought) it was supposed to be about how people only love women, the concept of women, if we are eternally girls, never mature, and always giving them carte blanche to exploit us and have a smile on the entire time. The prostitute who loves sex with random strangers for money, always sexual, always flirting, she just can't control herself. The stripper who loves being an exhibitionist, she's just a freak and has to share it. The woman who loves pain, it turns her on to be hurt by men. We've seen her on TV and in porn. I expected this to be an exploration of how men love this fake woman, and want to control her, because if she loves sex, they should be in control of who she has sex with or it is no longer fun for them. I thought this was going to be another "LOOK AT THE ABSURDITY" of such a woman. She doesn't exist. And if she did, she'll have to be brain dead, literally a shell of a mature adult woman who has killed herself because she cannot cope with this world. An analogy for how the sex industry takes advantage of drug using and mentally ill women. HOWEVER, director man wants to have his cake and eat it too, satirizing the exploitation of women, while exploiting a woman doesn't not make good satire. You're just doing the thing you're condemning. Satirizing sexualization of mentally unwell women, while actively eroticizing fucking someone with the mental IQ of a child is not good. Men already have a fetish of taking advantage of women with developmental issues, would loved if fuckin children was legal, and here you have talented actress Emma Watson making a fucked-stupid face right out of hentai. And she's being alluded for doing what porn actresses do every day, the voice and facial expression that makes me want to throw up. The film more goes on it stops being about (what I viewed, me personally) as a critique of the sex industry, and became about controlling a woman's sexuality, with no character there to present a feminist path that isn't BEING USED BY ANY MAN VS BEING CONTROLLED BY ONE MAN.

HERE IS A SHORT VIDEO of how I don't like satire of objectification/sexualization that uses objectification/sexualization to say it's message. But also I don't even think poor things are anti-sexualization, it is mainly about autonomy, the autonomy of women to sexually exploited. The exploitation isn't criticized, marriage is, a child like woman with unquenchable sexual lust belongs to the world, not one man it says. It was gross to watch and I felt icky. Not the kind of grossness that Killing of a sacred deer felt like, which was necessary to feel uneasy because feeling powerlessness is not comfortable. However, it is up to you to watch the movie and make up your mind, I am just annoyed that when it came to tackling women's issues acclaimed directors always fumble the ball.

[valtsv]

Hi I recently watched the terror because of you and I absolutely loved it :) so first of all thanks for posting about it so much haha. I wanted to ask your opinion on something that I personally wasn't a fan of (SPOILERS): I didn't really like that the only men we saw partake in the cannibalism were the ones in Hickey's group. I would've rather watched a slow progression of the ones I actually liked/respected (or respected as much as I could lol) being forced to cannibalize as they starve and their instincts take over, as opposed to "this group cannibalized because they were hungry and dying but also mostly because they were being lead by one deranged/sadistic guy who drove them all towards it". Idk I thought since they were in a survival situation that they would find a way to subvert our notions of "cannibalism is always morally wrong" but I didn't really feel that they did that...but I would love to hear your thoughts on it as you usually add a very interesting and well thought out perspective to matters such as this!

hmmm that's definitely one way of looking at it and not an invalid one, so from that perspective i agree that it leaves a pretty bad taste in the mouth (pun not intended). however. another way of looking at it is that hickey's group and hickey in particular are more willing to do what it takes to survive even if it means abandoning any semblance of what is Good And Proper And English. only by shedding the last vestiges of "civilization" are they able to survive for as long as they do. and it's a tragedy, in a way, because they've been driven to this point by men in positions of far greater power whose colonial greed has literally culminated in their great empire eating itself - starting with the poorest and least well regarded, who simply cannot afford to cling to sentimentality or morality - to "indulge [their] morals over [their] practicals" as hickey puts it in an earlier episode. it's no coincidence that the first person hickey cannibalizes is his own lover, and that he does so as an afterthought to ending his suffering (which draws a stark contrast to the scene earlier in the same episode where crozier does the same thing for fitzjames, but due to his privelege as an officer and the resources and discretion it affords him relative to hickey is able to refuse james' dying request to cannibalize his body and give him a more gentle, lovingly administered death). meanwhile everyone at terror camp who clings to their morals over the practical reality of the situation suffers and in most cases dies for it.

also, it was only a brief shot, so if you missed it i don't blame you, but we see at the end of episode 10 when crozier and silna come across the remains of terror camp that they'd resorted to cannibalism there too. so it's definitely not a cut and dry black and white case of "only Bad People participate in cannibalism" or even "cannibalism is always morally wrong". quite the opposite in fact.

[sicksucculentz]

Regretavator headcanons: Bive

Don't look at me like that, I love this character

There are moments when she truly is scary to other people. Sometimes her fits of angry deranged delusional ranting can reach this fevered rampage that quickly becomes scary. She's never hurt anyone during these but there's been sometimes when folks have just left or pressed against the wall in a bit of fear. It's highly unlikely she would hurt someone but it's still scary. She's only lost her shit in the elevator about 4 different times and Split was present for one of them. It didn't phase her because she knows Bive. The only thing Bive has ever done to her is hug her a little too tight out of stress.

She smells. Holy shit she smells! she smells of just general BO and unwashed hair if not musty.

She doesn't sleep often and when she does it's only for about 3 or 4 or so hours. It's typically 3 or so times a week from about 4am to 6am or 7am when her body reaches her limit. Sadly due to her frequent sleep deprivation she hears things. They are just little things like a radio somewhere crackling and muffled speaking from a radio, something lightly skittering around in the walls, A soft quiet continuing beeping noise like an alarm clock she doesn't own, and pages from a book flipping and shuffling.

Split has been able to get her to sleep for longer hours in the past. Her secrete is to convince Bive to take a couple of strong CBD drops. It really helps settle her down, quiet her mind, and help her get to sleep sense in a normal state Bive's mind is constantly racing. It's pretty normal for Bive to completely pass out on the sofa with Split while watching murder mystery shows or game shows. Split often checks on Bive every hour or so because Bive doesn't move in her sleep. Her breathing is shallow and she already smells like a dead body as is.

Bive is in love with Split, Bive will often do what Split says with such little convincing. Split knows this and she loves Bive to but they are not in a relationship. Bive herself doesn't really understand WHY they need to label their closeness with a relationship and Split is just the type of 'go with the flow' type of gal, she's just happy to be around Bive.

Bive eats 2 meals with small snacks in between. She lives in constant stress so her stomach is always in knots or aches. Her appetite is almost gone at this point so she gets a little food in here and there when the hunger starts to make her dizzy and her head hurt. This doesn't mean she's small and skinny ether. I see this design with a lot of artists and I completely agree with it, she's husky. Tall, thicker, and bulky, an appearance much like that of a bear and she knows her own strength and size.

She does have some small abilities that she doesn't tell anyone about. She WANTS it to remain hidden so she can just pull something from her metaphorical back pocket. She does have retractable claws much like a cat and these claws are quite sharp. She's amazingly strong! and can get aggressive enough to rip a car door off a car with enough pulling and twisting. She has a very mild hypnotic ability, it's pretty weak though. Her moulth has the ability to open up wide like packman. There are chromatophore cells all along the inside of her mouth. These cells all have different timings for when they change colors. It appears as if there are thick stripes of rapidly color changing sections inside her mouth. There are all number if colors of the rainbow that flash from color to color. This has an odd weak hypnotic effect that can result in dissociation at most. It causes the person to freeze up and just stare, trapping them in place until someone shakes them or she stops flashing those cells. She can do this at will so it isn't constantly going any time her mouth opens, she has to choose to do this. She almost never uses this ability but she has had to do it once before in front of Pest. Pest tried to get her to do it to folks in the elevator so he could steal from them for like a month. She refused of course and even got frustrated enough to swat at Pest to get him to go away. Didn't hurt of course, just a physical way to get her point across. She does have a pretty nasty bite and that bite can become infected pretty fast. Human bites also tend to become infected pretty easily and it's the same for her even if she may not be human. Her sense of smell is amazing, much like a bear she can sniff things out from pretty darn far away. She does also hide small pocket knives or letter openers in her trench coat just in case. She doesn't have a lot but she'll use what ever works to survive. She's also a dirty fighter. This just means she's an unfair opponent. She goes for the face, neck, liver shots, groin shots, hair pulling, sand or dirt in the eyes, and even uses over wealming tactics. She just keeps swinging and swinging not giving her opponent a chance to recover. She can break someone's arms or ribs if she wanted to just by over the knee snapping or pushing them to the ground and throwing all her weight on top.

All her fur on her body raises when she's in the presence of Unpleasant. She just puffs up and stares Unpleasant down. If she can she wont even get on the elevator if she sees Unpleasant on that elevator. Unpleasant doesn't scare her she just hates them.

She has tiny little ears that are hidden in her mess of hair. They are pretty gosh darn small and resemble a bit like an elf's ear. They can move up and down, side to side, around, whatever. Her eyes are also very small. She has tiny beady little eyes and she can't see jack squat without her glasses. Everything is super super blurry without her glasses to the point she couldn't even navigate her own apartment without her glasses.

Her teeth reach pretty far back in her mouth and she even has all her wisdom teeth. Her jaw can handle keeping them and she only has some issues stemming from them about 3 times a year or so.

She's bigger than Split but of course and again Split is not scared of her because she's never ever hurt Split and she never ever would, she even tried to make herself seem smaller and weaker when interacting with Split. Split likes watching her stand at her full height, she likes watching Bive break things or fight.

Bive is an omnivore while Split is more of a herbivore. Bive does love fruit and funny enough bananas are her favorite fruit! she also loves loves loves sautéed zucchini and soft chicken. She's not much of a fan of heavy meats like beef or pork, ham or bacon is too salty for her. Unrelated but she finds fish has too many little bones and the fish taste just doesn't appeal to her regardless of what kind of fish she's eating. She does enjoy crab, lobster, and shrimp. She has the ability to just crack open the shells with her teeth and has a lot of fun doing it. Clams and muscles are gross to her, just slimey and bleugh. Squid and octopus is fine, lost of fun to chew on.

She sleeps in a small closet. It's completely by choice but there is a cot in a closet in a closet in her bedroom(converted to an office). She sleeps with her back to the wall and facing the closed closed door. The clothes hanging inside the closet also help conceal her and make her feel a little more safe/hidden.

She does have perpetually itchy spots like her back, head, under chin, and tummy. It might be because she has dandruff in those spots making those spots itchy. Of course the itchy spot on her tummy has never been itched by anyone but herself and Split.

[blorbocedes]

wow, the alex video you posted IS so deranged and yet valid. i for one would love to hear any further thoughts about galex cannibalism you may have??

this is so deranged...... anyways what if galex were stuck on an island 🤪😳🏝 (based off this video)

Turns out being stranded on a deserted island is really anticlimactic. Incredibly boring, and more of a waiting game, once the adrenaline, relief, and panic at being alive wears off.

"We're the most tracked people on Earth. Once the teams figure out what happened, they'll send those large helis. We'll be out of here in no time. Probably in time to catch the next race too." George paces around, as if delegating his own rescue operation. Saying it out loud affirms it, it's going to happen, and therefore all George needs is to be cool and collected. His phone hadn't survived the waves, but he's sure it had sent his last known location somewhere near the waters. That's why they allow themselves to be tracked by technoautocrats all time, right? George isn't even worrying.

Alex is sitting down on the sand, with his small collection of rocks he's gathered and halfheartedly rubbing them together. You need a fireplace for that, George think irritated. Or like, a collection of sticks in a circle. He doesn't know, he's an F1 driver for fuck's sake.

Alex snorts, "Reckon they'll save the biggest helis for Lewis? Realise he's safe and sound in LA and bring out the backup single seater ones for George Russell?"

"Piss off. I suppose they'd find us faster if I was stuck with Max but you don't see me saying that." George snipes back. Admittedly, they're not on their best behaviour. Something about waking up concussed and realizing you're on a deserted island with the sun blazing down on you, and no fresh water or belongings nearby has a way of doing that to people.

"Ouch." Alex sounded mock-offended. He made a smiley face with his rocks.

"Shouldn't be long now." George bluffs with absolutely no way of knowing, only he needs to believe it. The waves dip into the beach, treacherously soothing. All that water, and nothing to drink. George imagines heroically catching a fish. He's not quite sure how to go about that, but Alex would for sure be impressed.

"We've got to think more long term, George."

"What do you mean?"

Alex levels him with a look. "Look around us. We're the only living things around for god knows how long. You've got to start thinking survival of the fittest."

George heroically catching fish. Alex in those lionskin dress the wives wore in the flinstones, cooking it over a fire. They Blue Lagoon it for years. Having to hold each other for warmth by the fire as they sleep to crackling hum.

"Yeah?" George asks, mouth going dry and not from the lack of water.

"There's only so much of each other we can take. You've gotta do what it takes to survive. That's what they don't tell you about deserted islands, the rules don't apply here. We can do anything here, and get away with it. And from what I can see, we're the only food source around. Anyone ever tell you you've got the neck of a gazelle?"

"You wanna eat me, Albon?" Dies down in George's throat, can't make it sound casual enough, like a joke. Not with the way Alex is staring at him, dark eyes, like he's something particularly delicious. We can do anything here, and get away with. The rules don't apply here. The giant helicopters with their flashlights could find them fucking them on the beach, and it wouldn't matter. Except they'd probably have cameras, to film the whole rescue operation and then yes, it does matter. Everything they do here matters.

"I'm not eating you. You're all bones and stuff, no thanks." George huffs, the dehydration truly settling in as his face gets redder.

"You don't want a little Thai food out here?" Alex laughs, reaching from where he's sitting and pulling at George's ankle who trips and falls on his ass on the hard sand.

Alex is flirting with me. Or he wants to eat me. George is not sure which is worse.

"Say a hyena gets me, you've gonna let a stupid bird have at me? Not even honour my body?" Alex still has his hand on George's ankle, the grip of it unrelenting. George's heart thuds in his chest.

"There's no hyenas around." He argues with reasonable confidence, despite not knowing.

"I wouldn't let a bird do that to you. I'd think, my friend George would've wanted me to survive." Alex moves closer, until he's halfway on top of George. His hand moves to the soft flesh of George's thigh sticking out from his shorts, and circles it. It's a little on the nose to feel like a prey trapped under a predator, imagining Alex kissing the soft of thigh before biting down on it, blood around the jut of that handsome mouth. One way or another, they'd both leave this island together. Within one another. It would be so, so easy to press Alex's head down here. Between his legs. Crush him with his thighs. "Whatever it takes."

"Fuck, fine. If a fucking hyena gets you, l'll shoo it away and eat you. Happy?" George pushes Alex off him, getting up, who grins up lazily from where he's fallen on the sand.

Heart still beating in his chest like a wild rabbit, George runs into the clearing of a few trees -- not wanting to venture further from where Alex won't be able to hear him if he calls for help. Their first mode of action had been making a SOS that could be seen from above, from the search helicopters, with the biggest rocks they could find. Turns out their strength at driving race cars had absolutely no use in lugging large rocks and they'd given up after the first C of the S. Finding large rocks makes George feel like he's doing something productive, actually aiding their rescue.

But Alex's words swim into his head. Survival of the fittest. Almost paranoid that Alex is watching, even though he's still lying on the beach, George stares into the clearing of trees ahead. There could be signs of life inside and he really doesn't want to find out, or be unarmed if there is. He just has to wait it to out. The rescue planes are coming. Entire jets. The whole country is on red alert. They're going to shake hands with the King.

Delirious in the heat, and the amount of blood that's rushed south, the shine of his wrist catches the sun. His sponsor gold Tag Heuer watch. A few hundred thousand quid. He takes it off, checking it's weight, and then places it on the ground. Takes the rock he'd found, and smashes it, collecting the now broken watch, and shards of glass in his pocket.

He makes his way back to Alex.

"What happened to your nice watch, Georgie?" Alex asks casually, frizzy air dried blond hair sticking up. Still looks great, like this. Tanned skin, blonde hair, pants rolled up as shorts. They could be on a beach vacation. George thumbs the watch in his closed fist, along the sharp ridges of where it broke.

"You got something in your pants or are you just happy to see me, Alexander?" George asks, staring at the rock sized bulge in Alex's left pocket.

"Always happy to see you." Alex smiles, and George mentally maps where his jugular should be as he takes a step towards him.

[leafmint-does-a-meow]

We’re mutuals now which means I’m allowed to be autistic on main <3 You are ABSOLUTELY right in your interpretation of Jekyll, in my opinion. He is trying So Hard to be neurotypical in a world where there isn’t even a word for that, there’s just ‘normal’ and ‘male hysteria’, and I see myself in this poor sad man.

Also, your depiction of the withholding of food to punish a naughty child? And the way Jekyll knows that, as an adult, he puts too much stock in food and drink? The fact that he has enough education to recognize a trauma response but can’t help the fact he’s doing it? The peak of cinema.

Do you think Jekyll ever did, or considered self harm? I have my own thoughts on the matter, but I’d love to hear what you think!

nah man, you always LEAD with being autistic on main! That's how you find all the other people who are deranged absolutely normal about the same stuff you are!

ugh, yeah, I was diagnosed at 17 so I had already gone through school and puberty wondering What Was Wrong With Me. The world isn't built for ND people, even today. It was even worse in the 19th century...

So fun fact! Well...not really fun, but that was a totally accepted thing that the upper class did with their kids. They believed that too much rich food would create immorality in their children when they reached adulthood and it was very common for food to be withheld as punishment. I bought historian Ruth Goodman's book How To Be A Victorian for fic research (Ruth my beloved) and there was a whole chapter that went into depth about food and nutrition.

'While hunger was at its cruellest among the poor, it sent its tendrils winding around the lives of the more wealthy too... Requests for more food were met with pious lectures about carnal desires and pampering to greed... The self-control and self-denial induced by hunger were thought to teach enduring habits of self-sacrifice and to aid in fashioning a more moral individual.'

I really recommend her book and documentaries if you want to learn more about the 19th century :)

Jekyll probably knows something isn't right, but with the lack of education or even acceptance of the mere existence of mental illness and trauma, he's probably been told his whole life to 'just get on with it', essentially. Poor bub.

Oof, yeah, I mean he definitely has had some dark days. Again, with the lack of knowledge in regards to mental health, he would be inclined to just force himself through it and on to the other side.

In my fic I wrote: 'There were days where his thoughts seemed to eat him alive, where the relentless pounding of his own heart would cause chest pains and exhaustion. It was on these days that dark thoughts would begin to surface, and he would throw himself into his work to evade them.'

The work proves a valuable distraction, until of course he begins to turn it into a process of finding a 'cure' for himself. Just as well he got away to the country when he did, I suppose.

Thanks for the ask! <3

[microscotch]

“Earth is a pathetic planet. Isabella getting with a guy BEFORE ME?? Like okay, what’s his name sorta only half counts but the LIKELIHOOD of that to happen and it STILL HAPPENED!!”

-“I hate the fact that I can hear them.”

-“Dito.”

-”Is... is Dante really eating those comedically spoiled cornflakes over there?”

-”I’m not standing here consuming one drink after another while staring at this unfitting painting to cope with the fact that everyone here is an idiot JUST for you to lure in the background and bother me with irrelevant questions like that. Why the fuck are you already drinking coffee?”

-”I don’t have a bed, did you forget that?”

-”Stop whining, people have bigger problems to worry about than you being doomed to sleep on our heart couch.”

-“Oh that’s just where I stood a couple hours ago. Is it what I think it is?”

-“LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I NEED TO FORGET THE THINGS I SAW AND HEARD LAST NIGHT.”

-”Yup.”

-”COME HERE MY LOVE!! LET MAXXX SMOOCH THE DISGUST OUT OF YOU!!!”

-”I don’t think I ever encountered such a pathetic pile of lifeforms in my whole existence-”

☎ *phone rings* ☎

-“KOMEI!!! LOVE OF MY LIFE!!”

-“WHERE ON EARTH WERE YOU ASSHOLES YESTERDAY??? I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO SPEND THE WHOLE DAY AT THE BEACH, YOU STILL HAVE A JO-”

-”DAMMIT!! Alright, let’s try again.

“Dude, Angie clearly passed the boy crazy virus onto Namzib before she left. Ever since that Comet or whatever his name is came around she’s just been acting completely deranged.”

“And not to mention, she was blocking the phone. Had to wait out seventeen obnoxious attempts until I could finally call the girl I met yesterday.”

“Then I realized I forgot her name...”

-“GUYS!! Hurry up, the awkward tension that is sitting next to Isabella by myself is terrible for my skin! I can basically feel it losing its radiant glow with every second passing by!”

“Don’t look at me like that! Isabella just oozes an amount of toxicity no bear shaped biotin gummies could possibly counteract!”

-“GUUUUUUUYSS FOR REAL WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE????”

-”Watcher! Hold up April, I think I can see a wrinkle!”

-”You’re just jealous ‘cause my boyfriend is a literal 10 while I’m the only person in this house who can even REMEMBER your guy’s name!”

-”Wow, obsessed much?”

-“Oops....”

“No one saw that.”

-“GET OUT OF THE WAY NAMZIB!!!!! CORNFLAKES!!!!!!”

-“NO DON’T GO IN HERE!”

-“NAMZIB FOR WATCHER’S SAKE!!!!!”

-“Hey, uh, Lyam right?

-”You guys still can’t re-”

-“Props to you and everything but also good luck with this one. Well, actually, my condolences with this one.”

-”Oh no, no, no, I still wanna live the next couple decades, that was just for fun.”

-”You’re fucking with me right now, aren’t you.”

“Wait, WHAT?”

“...THE UNDERSOCIALIZED VIRGIN THING WAS JUST A TACTIC???”

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I just want to preface this by saying that I do enjoy reading your metas. Thought clearly went into them and you've always got an interesting angle on things that people clearly want to hear.

But, I will admit, that some of your metas, especially the Harry Potter ones, do make me raise an eyebrow.

Like, with Twilight you say: "Edward is a deranged monster living out a romanatic tragedy in his head with a girl who's personality he made up and he's practically on the verge of eating her at any moment. "

Or: "Bella is a severely depressed teenager with some pretty bad problems with empathy who has staked all her self-worth on becoming a creature she barely understands."

Me, I think that makes sense. I get it. I agree with it.

But, with Harry Potter, you say: "The abused, tramuatized, orphan teenager with clear PTSD is in reality a idiotic, thuggish pyschopath completely incapable of love."

And also: "The child-killing, mass-murdering cult/terrorist leader terrified of death is lowkey suicidal, misunderstood and was failed by society even though he was basically Damien Thorn from the Omen since childhood."

That... gives me pause.

That's not to say I don't disagree with all your HP metas. I guess it's just, even though I'm not much of a fan anymore, I do have more of a connection with HP than Twilight, so that might explain it.

Well, it is a heresy blog you know, it's actually downright bizarre that the Twilight fandom gives me and @therealvinelle as much credence as it does.

Remember that what I say, on any topic, is fucking insane.

But I think you hit the nail on the head:

For all that fandom is extremely disapproving of JKR (many leaving fandom altogether because of her actions and stances), they love the world of Harry Potter and (per the blog anon, you did come talking to me) love what they think it is more than it actually is.

It was a huge part of many people's childhood, people saw Hermione as one of the biggest female leads in their lives who not only keeps up with the boys but easily surpasses them, everyone wanted to go to Hogwarts and be friends with Harry and play quidditch, we want to believe that it really is the power of love is what saw Harry through to the end.

Even now, despite the backlash against the author, people want to like Harry Potter.

And that's fine, it's about whatever makes you happy and people are more than free to block this blog or filter at will, I just answer the questions.

Twilight, on the under hand, has this weird cynical culture where a lot of people (at least in the Twilight Renaissance) want to hate Edward, the Cullens, Bella, all of them.

So, when I come along preaching my nonsense, it fills in with the fandom is already willing and ready to hear (and even then a lot of the times it's considered very spicy).

Glad you enjoy some of it.

[superpeeboy]

Evil thoughts and headcanons about benny and gcbc below

Benny is mad-scientist-adjacent in my mind. He’s almost one of those but hes an engineer instead. Still a freak.

Benny has facial hair. its in the storyboards and I cling to it like a koala to a tree during a forest fire

Benny IS short but he floats to peoples height so most don’t even notice

Old ass men. Benny would be born sometime before the 80s so he could actually grow up during that time! 1970 something.

For that matter, GCBC is also old as hell. Similar age to benny but he did not age anywhere near as well 😭😭 UGLY!

Benny and GCBC play fight like dogs.

Benny is NOT SKINNY!! this man eats ice cream every day he would not be skinny! no!

And for that matter, GCBC isn’t skinny either. Fat GCBC or death!

Hard of hearing benny. He works with spaceships those things are loud!

I dont think benny would care about pronouns. I usually use he/him for benny but i really dont think hed have a preference like everyone calls him he/him so he just goes with it.

On the other clawhand, GCBC is WOKE!!! He/it good cop he/she bad cop, collectively he/they because they are literally TWO GUYS!!!

More lgbt stuff. I think Gay Cop Bisexual Cop is funny to say so i go with it for that reason. Benny is probably also gay HE LOOKS GAY!

Good cop probably likes to go to the library. He just looks like he does. Round glasses. NERD!!

Benny is more evil than GCBC. The girls that get it get it and the girls that dont dont.

…I LOVE EVIL BENNY! i must continue. I feel like in the drafts for the lego movie benny was just absolutely deranged and they had to tone it down a bit for the final film but i love that he was such a freak! like what was his issue. all the removed stuff ive seen with benny was just him absolutely tweaking. AND HE KILLED GCBC he did that in the draft script and it was so awesome and he didnt even feel bad i love it!!

outside of like actual stuff from tlm i also think people infantilize benny a lot and its fun to just make him absolutely horrible to spite that.

also! Benny has brain damage the evil way… I project a lot for this cuz GIRL ME TOO! he has poor control over his own limbs and cant hold a train of thought very well and i dont want to continue cuz i takea lot of this specifically from my own experiences but those are just a couple things 🤔

I feel insane talking about this but i swear bad cop has an interest in cowboys. when emmet and lucy escape it seems like the first place she checks is the old west (i know its jsut movie logic… BUT STILL!), the folks in the old west recognize her theyre literally shaking cuz shes SCARY!! and she knows her way around the place pretty well which both of those are probably from her job but IDC!! now when she said “get off my train” WHAT IF what if she just felt protective over old west propertyy also in the behind the bricks video she mentions cowboys even though they were NOT that big of a part of the movie!! evil speculating on a fictional characters interests 😭😭😭

if they were birds gcbc would be an owl and benny would be a blue footed booby. also not about my main slop characters but related to bird legos, metalbeard would be an albatross.

continuing with owl cop, hes an owl because owls have large circular eyes, yet their eyes can also be very reflective, and they can twist their heads about.

if they were cats gcbc would be a tiger just so they could say “you bit the wrong tigers tail” and benny would be a serval

if they were dogs gcbc would be a german shepherd, obvious choice, and benny would be a schnauzer

if they were fish gcbc would be good cod bad cod just for the name and benny would be a pleco

when picking good cop up he would curl up like a happy kitty hed really like being picked up and when picking bad cop up he would scramble and claw at you in fear of falling (she is a frightened animal)

Good cop would watch kids cartoons in his free time, if he had any 💀

Good cop the type of guy to say “geeze louise”

Good cop the type of guy say “you wouldnt hit a guy with glasses would ya?”

Good cop the type of guy to say “ohh butterfingers” after dropping something

Good cop the type of guy to look for his tv remote and say “if i were the tv remote where would i be?”

Good cop the type of guy to close the fridge door with his hips

Good cop definitely has the urge to just collect trinkets but not the time nor money, maybe on weekends hed visit thrift shops just to get random stuff

Good cop and benny both seem like they chew on things when nervous

Both good cop and bad cop like the color pink but bad cop would be a bit more embarassed to share that. at home they definitely have pink blankets and pillows and all sorts of pink

Everyone is autistic if you think hard enough.

I love how everyone agrees that bad cop takes after his mother and good cop his father. Unanimous agreement ive never seen anyone headcanon it the other way

I say this as a joke but i dont have any way that i think gcbc wouldve come to be so its basically my headcanon even if its a joke. Good cop ate bad cop in the womb. Thats why theyre like that. And ma cop was terrified because she was set to have twins and only had one baby. 💀💀

Benny has definitely been hit with the “Hes smart but he doesnt apply himself” thing in the past.

GCBC is not a pale white man. Not happening. He would not do that!

If they participated in a chicken fight, gcbc would be on benny’s shoulders (as the cops cannot swim)

Good cop’s eyes are so big they squash his brain

[soot-and-salt]

for the fanfic ask game: F and N!!!!

Hello anon!!

(Question from this list of fanfic author questions - come ask me more!)

F. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

This is so hard because writing dialogue is my favorite. Okay let's see. Off the top of my head I thought of:

"You," Vox growled as he sidled up next to Alastor. "Me," the Radio Demon replied with a special shit eating grin he kept in reserve only for him. He took another sip of the admittedly very nice whiskey (one point in this terrible club's favor, his internal review of the place jumping from minus 4 to minus 3 stars). Vox snapped his fingers at the bartender and a drink was put in his hand immediately. "Manners," Alastor chided. "You can tell so much about a person by how they treat waitstaff, you know." "Fuck you, first of all," Vox said, pointing the glass at him accusingly, "second of all, what the fuck are you of all people doing at the trendiest night club in the whole city? I thought you'd burn to a crisp like a vampire walking into a church if you set foot into a place that refused to act like culture stopped evolving after the Great Depression." Alastor huffed a laugh. "I'll have you know, my dear, that I enjoy an evening out every so often. I'm not a nun." "And, so, what? You guys picked here?" A disbelieving chuckle clung to his words, glitchy and warped. Vox leaned into Alastor's personal space a little, screen lighting up with one of his patented shark toothed grins. "I had no idea you were so fond of EDM music, must have missed that segment on your little radio program." Alastor refused to take a step back, instead letting his smile turn into something sleek and serpentine. "Oh, so you do listen to my program! I was wondering who's been writing me all that deranged fan mail lately, so good to find an answer to that little mystery!" Tinny canned laughter played through his static, a few whoops thrown in for good measure.

(sic)

"Pfft, lucky for you! If this place wasn't warded I'd beat your ass so hard they'd have to sell your hide as ground venison." Vox let his own internal studio audience ohhh at the insult, grin dripping with malice and pixelated saliva. The Radio Demon rolled his eyes, his monocle a shard of glittering red in the dark of the club, elbow leaned primly against the bartop. "My dear fellow, it would be a miracle if you could even lay a fingertip on me before I rend you down into scrap metal and sell you for pennies." Valentino slotted himself between them, angling for the bartenders attention. "Girls, girls, cut it out, you're both pretty."

It's from my radiostatic fic Betty Boop Then The Beat Drops which I'm still bizarrely fond of, even though I think it could be a better fic in places. The reason why I love this dialogue is because I think it's so SNAPPY. I love BANTER and Vox and Alastor do it SO damn well. They're both the very definition of catty bitches and they love to quip at each other. Alastor's snark is sharp and witty while Vox's is a little more bravado-heavy, but it works so well. This section was an absolute JOY to write. They're both so MEAN. Writing their snark lets me let out MY inner catty bitch and it's the best time ever.

The end bit with Valentino, who is bizarrely a RIOT to write, is just so absurdly funny that I can't help but include it. They're all fucking terrible and it makes for fantastic comedy.

Is there better, wittier, snappier dialogue in stuff like Fetch Quest or the Cursed Cat Alastor fic or the one where Valentino teaches Alastor gen z slang? Completely. But for whatever reason these two being dicks to each other here is so funny to me that I can't help but hold it dear. It just sounds like them, I can hear it so clearly in their voices. Now that's good television dialogue!

N. Is there a fic you wish something else would write (or finish) for you?

I'm not going to tag him here, because the good doctor just started his residency and he has enough going on (so tell him I said nice things!), but DEAR GOD do I wish I could pick Prince-liest's brain on how to write Vox in a sexy context. HOW DOES HIS BODY WORK???

I had a great idea for kink week back in June involving Vox and Alastor and I failed completely at writing it because I just could not figure out in my head how Vox's whole deal worked. It's mostly why I haven't written anything smutty in a radiostatic context yet. I'm utterly flummoxed on how to write Vox's body.

Prince is the fucking GOAT at it, though. His 666: Live On Air! series is FANTASTIC. Literally the gold standard for demented radiostatic and his Vox is exceptional. Prince absolutely understands how that weirdo's body works, in lots of different iterations even, and executes it flawlessly in his writing. Completely believable, completely makes sense. I bow down before him.

Don't get me wrong, I'll get there at some point, but MAN. Vox, buddy, the actual fuck are you, my guy. Prince, sir, doc, I don't know how you do it but I tip my proverbial hat to you.