#i love those stupid lil lizards

[melancholyghoul]

You're telling me Carlos Reyes got his boyfriend A BEARDED DRAGON even though he is incredibly put off by reptiles ???? Because he knows TK loves them ???? I fall more in love with this man every episode

[pinyatapix]

i never played Concord nor had interest in it but i felt an insatiable drive to redesign all of its characters before the game shut down ever since i saw how absolutely dripless they were

anyways here’s my scuffed ass sketches of the gang. i was originally going to finish these all before the game’s shutdown but i was so stuck on Teo that it took 6 extra days rip me. also i cant draw guns. these are all first drafts so expect them to change a bit if i feel like drawing em again

more info on these designs below (warning i yap a lot)

Itzi (i am not calling her “It-Z” cuz it reads rly weird and i can imagine someone bri’ish calling her “It-Zed” it’s so dumb): Wanted to make her more of a goofy lil gremlin creature, like some combo between a jerboa chameleon and raptor, to make her more appealing and interesting, imagine being shot to death by this silly little scamp. Everyone loves Ivy Deadlock for her gremlin charm so maybe they’d love Itzi too if she had that as well. Her chest has a hole in it containing the weird ball she throws to teleport and shit, because a Concord critique by TBSkyen said that a character’s powers should appear on their physical design or whatever, also to show that she got mutated in a freaky space storm

Bazz: nothing about her reads as “agile deadly knife-throwing assassin”, especially with that annoying puffy bright red coat, she looks completely stupid running around doing backflips with that thing on! So i made it a more sharper mysterious black coat she wears like a cape to give her that sense of shadowy agility like a phantom thief, which she keeps all her carbon steel knives all neatly stored in. Gave her a slight diamond motif on the coat and the glasses because it felt elegant and sharp. Thought her hairstyle kinda fucked hard so i kept it but made it a bit more pointier and added a little stylish side swoop.

Lennox: i actually love this guy’s voice acting and the slightly manic goofy personality it had but his design did NOT fit the voice, so fuck it im making him even more of a lizard man than they were trying to do. His self-healing ability is him shedding a bit of skin after it took damage, and his “splodey knife” is probably a back scale spine he yoinks out of his back that can explode because it’s a biological property of his species for some reason. I do not know what clothes to give him

Lark: Discarded all semblance of a humanoid silhouette to make them even more of a weird mushroomy alien. I don’t really have much to say but i can easily see them slithering around like an octopus on land but faster. Their gun would look way more like some organic fungal creation

Haymar: not much changes here but i wanted to make her more mystic and “wizardy”. The “fireballs” she uses as her main ammo are now a floating bead necklace rotating around her neck (kinda like that zen robot from overwatch) and her clothes now have more of a slight flame motif, along with more of a mystic vibe. Got rid of those ugly ass mustard sneakers too of course

Daw: gave him more turtle motifs to match his “turtle-esque” gameplay style by giving him a protective hoodie and turning his “healing pad” pack into a bulky turtleshell backpack (he’s also wearing a turtleneck sweater shirt underneath the coat lol). His coat is somewhat translucent like shiny plastic cuz i thought it would look neat, tried to ditch the goofy-ass jumpsuit thing he had by giving him a belt to separate shirt and pants. Not too sure if i made him appear enough as a medic as that’s his main thing, the coat and gloves could probably help but idk, but i adjusted his personality presentation to be more easygoing and warmhearted with the closed-eyes so maybe that could give a healer energy.

Duchess: old ladies who know how to kick ass are rly cool. her whole thing’s making walls and constructs out of this golden gooey energy but nothing in her design tells you about that, so i decided to give her a cape/cloak made of that same golden essence so that it’s more apparent on what she can use it for, it also makes her appear more like royalty which was prolly what they were going for. Kept the haircut cuz that beehive thing was very goofy but it fits the vibe of everything else

Roka: she looked like a blowup sexdoll version of Master Chief which is… very cursed, and it tells nothing about her being able to fly around and stomp on people, so i made her bug themed! She’s like a cross between a wasp and dragonfly, the bulletproof wings are rocket-powered and can fully rotate the other direction to give her a forward boost of momentum to stomp people with her slightly more exaggerated boots, they also neatly fold away when she’s not flying. She’s rockin’ that tokusatsu hero look, it gives her a lot more energy to her personality.

Daveers: hated drawing them and i feel unsatisfied but i do like what ideas i had for them. Gave them more of a “sketchy mad scientist” vibe and personality with a shit-eating grin and all that, also tried to give them a “test tube contraption” thing going on by having their helmet be entirely glass and there being tubes and bottles all over their baggy jumpsuit full of poisons and chemicals. Gave them a spray-can backpack that stores all their toxic sludge tho im not too sure if it fits the rest of them or not… whatever. Tried giving them a chemical burn mark on one half of their face but it’s blending in with the hair rip

Jabali: he’s a healer whose powers come from “his own pulse”, but the weird pacemaker thing on his heart is the only way of knowing that so i made him waaaayyy more heart themed! His cool-ass hat’s got a blood cell design on it, his coat’s got a vein pattern, his shoulder pads look like aortas and arteries, i think his dreadlock ponytail could also match the aorta look. I seriously felt that vibe of the cool badass black guy with the glasses and coat and wide tippable hat needed to be enhanced even more, he had all the ingredients to be one stylish mfer but they weren’t mixed in properly, depressing.

Vale: i was racking my head on what to do with her because the only thing going on with her was “sniper” and “bionic legs”, but i decided to make her a “scrapper” like what they called Emari in that one short by turning that “burlap sack hobo” look she originally had into more of a defining feature as something recycled from a bunch of scrap she collected. Turned her “how do you do fellow kids” backwards hat into a slick bandana that has her sniper goggles attached to it, made her braids/dreadlocks into a cool ponytail befitting of a sniper though i wished i decorated them with more stuff other than the power plugs at some of their tips, like nuts and bolts acting as hair beads. Her bionic legs are also more heavily emphasized here, she’s like 70% leg like Byakuya Togami Danganronpa and that makes her a bit more taller than most, i can see her running around with them rly fast also they have large springs in them for extra jump (also they matched those spring like curly tips in her og hairstyle)

Emari: tried to make her bulky armor even more like it’s made of scrap like the “scrapper” she is, tho since i kinda suck at mechanical greebling she looks very cluttered and hard to read. I tried putting cute little stickers and graffiti on her armor to give her more of a fun-loving vibe despite her imposing build, felt like she’d decorate her armor for fun. Gave her helmet a visor to give her some cool toughness and added lil things on it reminiscent of bear ears cuz her silhouette needed a lil something. Problem i have with drawing her is that her silhouette ended up looking too similar to 1-0FF’s redesign, it really needs some fixing cuz it’s pretty damn rough.

Kyps: she could’ve served so much cunt but she didn’t, so i needed to change that. To match her invisibility powers as a spy i themed her off of chameleons and mirrors — i un-balded her for improved silhouette by giving her a hairstyle similar to a chameleon tail (tho it also looks like a glass Prince Rupert’s drop and mirrors are also glass), gave her “earrings” similar to mirror handles, made her coat a lot longer and have it slightly reminiscent of fractured or cut glass, give it a coattail like a chameleon tail, and tried giving faint patterns on the clothes and especially the tied that gives a sort of “shimmery” kinda vibe??? She’s reminding me a lot of Inteleon right now

1-0FF: actually my favorite out of the redesigns, he was so tricky to do but i think i got him pretty right. Wanted him to appear even more of a friendly recycling bot toughened up by constant battle, replaced that menacing eye of his with a friendly smile on a screen (that i took from an app icon from my ipad out of laziness lol) and gave him little symbols of recycling like little sprout iconography and a recycling symbol heart, though as contrast to all that i gave him scars and battle damage so you know he kicks ass. Still wanted to keep the trashcan look so his head kinda resembles those trashcans with the spinny rotating lids, tried my best to make the rest of the body also trashcanny. Turned that vacuum gun of his into a megaman-type arm gun because why did they make it a separate component that’s so stupid.

Starchild: turned him from a rip-off Guardians of the Galaxy character into something more like a rock monster guy since his main ability's called Diamond Skin and it does.... guess what. I put crystals on different parts of his body and I thought about the "hair" on his body being made of those weird fuzzy kinds of crystals (realized it was a missed opportunity to give him chest hair rip). Wanted to make his name "Star Child" a lot more literal by inspiring him off of a shooting star, which is why I gave him that plume of smoke for hair. Since he's a (former) proud tribal warrior guy I wanted his design to lean more heavily into that by giving him tattoos that are like geometric stone carvings??? and giving him clothes and jewelry that give a sort of non-existent tribal culture vibe, his clothes also have a sort of bismuth pattern to them.

Teo: okay this fucker was the reason why I did not finish this. His design was so unimaginably boring that it was very difficult to come up with a "twist" for him while still having him be the standard shooty guy. Days later I immediately thought "Space Dandy" and decided to make him be way more flamboyant with a pompadour as his main feature, befitting of the "goofy space adventure" vibe this game tried and failed to capture. In my head his backstory was that he was raised from birth to be a regular ass disposable space soldier, leaving the army much much later to pursue a quest for self-identity... the identity he chose for himself being that of an over-the-top galactic popstar. I imagine his "Smoke Bomb" ability being glittering colorful smoke instead, like a popstar entering the stage out of artificial smoke clouds.

okay I'm tired. i am cooler than playstation. goodbye

[lordturkish-robomallcop]

Gimme 11, 7, 26, 27 and 28 (Drawing not required). For Ana and/or Marcel, but also for anyone whom you'd feel have interesting answers for these!

Taking that and and running with it straight under the fold!

11 for Marcel, Anatol and Roman because he's bundled in with the Ana package: Marcel was my first WoD pc, so he's largely a port of my main DnD guy (Dillup the Diviner) who also got blended with Midnight Gospel dissociative ennui and Mackgyver goofiness. Anatol... less fun and goofy, this one. Ana/Roman were originally built to be kinda a parable tackling my thoughts/feelings regarding to "trans widow/er" narratives and spiraled out from there. I haven't posted their full origin story outside of the snippets in Limits, but a lot dwelling in that uncomfortable zone of folks reaching for things they do not have language for, so they reach into the phantoms they construct of loved ones as mooring points and then freaking out when those points prove to be imagined/changed. Also just a general exploration of "toughing through" a relationship that perhaps has reached its sell-by date. Roman is married to an image of Ana that never was/will never be but has convinced himself that is a natural state that must be returned to. Ana is married to an image of Roman (the man who was disowned by his family to be with Ana, who despite being a bit of a patriarchal terror in his own right was one of the few folks who begrudgingly gave him space/grace outside of his own father) that Anatol has convinced himself is someone he needs to rebuild/is the touchstone he needs. This is also mirrored with Mihal/Kliment, except Mihal in a shocking twist is probably the only motherfucker in this generational pain cycle to recognize, in that one moment, that he was chasing a construction and just... letting go, letting that fixation die. Understanding it was making him and the person he claimed to do everything for worse. That he was unconsciously doing what his own sire did to him, and ooooh no if there's anything he hates more than being passe it's being reminded he's very similar to the Old Dragons. Also the fixation was immediately resurrected when Ana entered the picture, because pobody's nerfect but lil ruffly bugboi tried.

Wow I've already done a massive ramble anyhoot there's a healthy dose of Artemy Burrakh from Pathologic 2 in Ana as well bc I had Pathologic brainrot when I was first drafting him, lmao. He also got his last name Stamatin from that game.

7 for All Assortment of Lads: Marcel is a Divination Wizard, as was his Dillup Double! And like Dillup he'd def find a way to become a Hag. Ana would def be a Warlock of some stripe, likely a Great Old One patron. He'd be a human and be grumbly about it. Eliza is pretty straightforwardly a halfling Rogue. Roman starts as the lvl 1 Runescape farmer and ends up as a pretty bomb ass Ranger. Mihal would be the patron Ana's praying to, lol. 26 for All Assortment of Lads: Ana compulsively categorizes people he meets as different types of flora so this is the perfect question!! Ana- Venus fly trap Roman- Strawberry Blossum Mihal- Eidlewiess Kliment- Red Rose Eliza- Blue Hydrangea Marcel- Ivy/Kudzu 27 for Ana and Macel: Marcel is a Cuckoo Shrike bc he barrels in out of nowhere and completely wrecks other people's houses for his own ends. Like, look at this stupid son of a bitch, I hate him:

Ana is def some kind of weird lizard or stickbug. Part of me wants to say "do dragons count bc he's genuinely the type of kid who'd buy one of those Dragonology books growing up and also his grandfather was an Obertus Monk so Big Lizard Stanning is just a family tradition" but also another part of me feels like that's a cop out tzim answer lol.

28- Ana and Marcel: Marcel rolls with the skaters/burnouts smoking by the dumpsters after school before doing some light shoplifting at the Casey's down the street. Ana rolls with the theater kids to Perkins at 1am as the designated Butch Carabiner Haver of the department. Roman is the single jock at the end of the queer theater table struggling as the "Sure I Am An #Ally bc my S/O is queer but don't get it twisted I'm straight ha-ha" boyfriend. Maybe someday I will dig out the wacom tablet that I know to be existing in a desk drawer somewhere to do my own OC doodles but today is not that day lol.

[shoesterrs]

VDL Gang but Animals

I know this has been done countless times, but here's my version! Some have a cool explanation and some are just,,, silly :)

Dutch Van Der Linde: Black Panther

I think it's fairly widely accepted. He gives off the vibes of a big cat, hard to remember they're wild animals and not just big lovable kitties.

Hosea Matthews: Corsac Fox

This one was oddly tough. It was pretty easy to make him a fox, but I had a lot of other ideas. I do think he looks A LOT like a corsac fox, and acts a lot like a fox in general, clever and cunning.

Arthur Morgan: Stag

What'd you expect? This is just perfect for him, no other questions are being taken, thank you.

John Marston: Golden Eagle

That picture is so. So so John Marston. It looks just like him dude. I see a lot of people say he's a wolf, and I get that, but BIRD OF PREY. Wolves are more often seen as very territorial and constantly with their pack. I see John Marston more as a loner, especially with the lonely vibes in RDR1. And going from weird little looking baby to BIG MAJESTIC BIRDDD. I don't know I'm a big bird fan. He hunts down his old friends in RDR1 and that is very bird of prey of him. And the bird symbolism? OAGH freedom and independence but also strength and courage. And they mate for life 😀

Javier Escuella: Coati

Very out of field uhh. Okay. So in all sorts of different cultures, coati can represent change and protection, but also greed and gluttony. They're often depicted as protectors or crafty and mischievous creatures. Javier is very protective and loyal of his family, and despite trying not to, he's changed a lot throughout the years. Coati. End quote.

Bill Williamson: Javelina

Hii he's a silly little javelina, blind and stupid but also so so horrifying. Big family protectors, travel alone or in packs, and this picture spoke to me. I LOVE JAVELINAS!!

Micah Bell: Gila Monster

The largest venomous lizard in the US (I think), these badass lizards hunt down their prey by locking them in their jaws and biting down, slowly injecting venom. MICAHHH - Dutch is his prey, or fucking ANYONE and GOD iusghfja

Charles Smith: American Bison

Sweetheats <3 ofc he's an American Bison. Chonky boys, very connected to Native American culture. Hella protective but so so chill. And silly.

Sean Macguire: No fucking idea maybe a woodpecker

Lil assholes who like to swoop at me for some reason these ableist birds. Anyways. They got those strong head muscles. Perfect for him. Love to cause noise. Bird vision. Yep

Lenny Summers: Otter!

sweethearts with an evil mind <3 They often symbolize curiosity and playfulness. Young hearts. :( gonna make myself cry

Sadie Adler: Cougar

Often thought loners, but value their social family and friends. Purrs doesn't roar REAL Sadie's fierce as hell and a fantastic bounty hunter BAM cougar

Karen Jones: Secretary Bird

she looks like a secretary bird finished. My sister gave me this idea and I LOVE IT. "execute snakes by stamping on them" JUST USING 'EXECUTING' IS KAREN ENOUGH. QUEEN.

Tilly: Black-Footed Ferret

I want to put her in macaroni.

Mary-Beth: Barn Owl

Freakin NERD. I don't like this one very much, think she's more of a cat maybe?? But neither a cat or a barn owl fits her personality. Going more with what is represents, owls representing ya know nerds and magic and all that. And I guess barn owls are real good at being sneaky and Mary-Beth is a good pickpocketer :)

Uncle: Raccoon

Weird, gluttonous, and trash animals? Uncle. But for real, raccoons might not look threatening but they can put up a FIGHT. Reminds me a lot of Uncle.

Abigail Marston ;): Red Shouldered Hawk

Very protective, gets PISSED. Abigail probably would kill like a bird of prey for her family. Love her. Love hawks. Also really wanted to make the Marston family BIRDS OF PREY heh

Jack Marston: Brown Falcon

Silly little guy, but still a predator. Hunts down Edgar Ross. Absolutely a bird of prey.

Miss Grimshaw: Emu

Miss. Grimshaw would single-handedly win a war against Australians. Therefore, emu. Cannot fly but has personality for years.

Simon Pearson: Turkey

Very American, balding, and they represent giving and food of course. I wanted to make him a sea related animal, like maybe a Manatee or a Walrus?? But I REALLY like turkey.

Leopold Strauss: Weasel

Evil fucker, that one weasel from Zootopia yes I just referenced that, also I want to toss him in macaroni.

Josiah Trelawny: Raven

Very clever, often represent magic. "Spiritual messengers". Also found that they represent "divine timing" which is funny as hell to me and very Trelawny. I play a silly DnD thing where I DM and roleplay as the entire freaking Van Der Linde gang and I made Trelawny just kind of show up at the simultaneously the worse and best times.

Reverend Swanson: RED SPOTTED TOAD!!!

MY FAVORITE CHARADCTER!!! and i gave him a toad :) BUT i like toads! Especially this silly guy <3 They represent transformation (very Swanson look at him go) and are often attached to witchcraft which I think is fucking hilarious for a reverend. These guys spend the day in rock crevices and come out during the night - they can survive 40% body water loss. Good for the morphine and alcohol :D

Kieran Duffy: Ring Tailed Cat

Look at those big eyes and tell me that's not Kieran. They get hit by cars all the time and that's soooo Kieran Duffy of them. They're super shy and timid but also hella adventurous to the point of stupidity. I've only ever seen one in the wild in my life and it very aggressively yelled at me. Wherever you are, sorry little dude.

Last but not least, Molly O' Shea: Bleeding Heart Dove

Another one my sister recommended. OH the symbolism, I could write a whole essay, it HURTS. Doves are obviously very common symbols for freedom and love. The plumage looks like a gunshot through the chest. HELLO!?!? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!??! It's a bleeding heart. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. They're freaking gorgeous majestic creatures, a symbol of resilience and beauty in the Philippines

And that's it?? I think. Would love to hear y'alls thoughts!

[rockintapper]

i say stuff about rh characters part 2two

becuase. teehee

the fir1st one, the t3hird one

rhds tiem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!readmore jumpscare

yuka: wair i already d

that frog doll from the tutorial: I give!

note: the jumperrrr

widget: oh its you. yknow your older brother /gn akai mono likes to piss people off sometimes /silly

conductor: jj rpcker questions why you dont move and im glad i can answer her with "he does in megamix"

chorus kids: hi elleon the screaming screamers. theyre ltierally so sikly. but Watch Out

robots (fillbots): the snall one reminds me of coxmo. yall know cozmo? the lil guy and he had cubs that he plays with. and you cn like. and he. cost 200 dolar. the snall rovoNow i feel nostalgic

pop singer (erina): shhehehjdubdmyedrjguexrguderjugdexkvguuggxrwguvvjgkzhdvjgwxd

monkey (fan club): boy stop staring at me your judgemental ass lyour fuckin We're the best fanclSHUT yo stupid ass up fuckin banana lookin headasss i suppose you should jump off a cli

paddler: scare the shit out of me /half sily

blastronaut and shoot-'em-up radio lady: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

inturders: l + ratio + get blasted

captain blue bird: when i heard this lil shit go "STRETCH OUT YOUR NECK" the firsttime i was like WA IT THAT REMINDS ME OF SOMETHIGNG,,, WHHWHAHAYTFAFYA

the blue birds: ok actually. the enitre minigame takes me all the way back to the we are number one rh remix imm so df. s SADDACGFHEVVHG /POS

moai kids: doo-womp womp

moai bird: wait i though you were called seagullx

love lizards: Wonderful cnaracters, HHHHHHORIBBLE minigame. that is all. unles you uh. i mean. listen. leans c,oser to you. what if you flicked for each shake.

stomp farI HHEHDHHHHHJBJFXHEHBSDXJHB. GRABS HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM IT WAS OOONNNEEE MOOOOOOLLLEEEEEEEE OOOOONENEEEEEE MOOOOOLLLLLEEEEEEE

oh god the vegetables again: ok!

moles: pats your head. i know. hes very mean to you guys. i mean. like. i misse dlike One of oyu and stomp farmer gave me A GOD FORSAKEN ok. i know its not his fault its the games. judgement system. but the way he

tj snapper: me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic

tj snapper's girlfriend: me and the goofy guy i pulled by being autistic

the dazzles: stop staring at me im trting my best,,

munchy monk: i call him munchy in my head. he smiles SOOO WIDE in the battle of the bands audience hes so goofy i lov

dj yellow: SCRATCHO

dj blue: i. the lips. the lips. what have the done to you. its gonna be okay. i sure as hell am not drawing you with those big ass lips. hily s

taiko rally squad: DON DOKODOKODON DOKODOKODON kinda unfair how in the try again and ok screens this guy Loses. but in the superb screen BOTH SIDES WIN. PARTICIPATION TROPHY-ASS SHIT

research scientists of love lab: bi4bi. and if youre willing, bi4bi4bi.

the three synchrettes: alley-oop!

dolphins: oh cool dolphins :)

ecto: omg hiiiii helloo litle guyyy i wuv youuu ^_^ kises your snall tiny forehead

booboo: FUCK you FUCK you FUCK you FU

spooky: honestly? i fw him

dog ninja: i wanna cook soup wjf youbyoure soawesome and cool and i lpve you hii doggyyy hi dogy. dohyynkkgunnbuyrctib

mister eagle: thanks for telling me to cut the fruits. i was gonna do that anyway but like. shoutout to you man. props

the frogettes: jj rocker really likes you huh. cant get enough young love rock and roll even

space kicker: hi radar AAGHHHH THE SPACE!!! KI IEKR AAHH ITS HIM INAHIUIBSSYSBIYFIBYDS /VPOS

stepswitcher: love these thangs. i have several of my own thangs. the one i (mc) adore most is the purple thang. his name is mo

JJ ROCLEKEKRKMJ &*;*;&;&$-$×<;^<^<^$ UBGDEBGSCXUGBUSDXGBBHG my eif ei lvoe her so so sp sososososoos muuch foreverrr aheehee giggle. kicks my feet twirls my hair. i think i hauve covid

STUDENT ROKCKONOUCRFUIBCFEJHBGCERBGUSXD MY CHILD HE HAS EVERY DISEASE

airboarder: yeeeeaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHH LETS GO

seals: wait. whatd you do with the dolphins. where are they. say somethign . Where are thr DOLPH

smiling coin: do i know you

thr cnaract3rs from tunnel the endless game: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i gues. but like. do you really ned a cowbell to keep driving? i mean. just record yourself playing a cowbell and like play it on the radio. just do that. why am i holding a cowbell anc playing the cowbel for YOU. do it yourselfIs she even listening to. m

glass tappers: ths Glass Tappers J SWEWR EVERY TIME I READ THR WORD "TAPPERS"

the thing from rhythmove dungeon: youre. okay. i guess. i only played your endless game once. uh it 's fine. i mean.

clodhopper pickens: youre so full of glee,, id be happy too if my business card made music,,

slot monster: tjen scdrunkly. scdunkyl. scrunkly. sc

octo-pop: WAHAHHA THE. MSUIC SO FAST

beat machine: i barely messed around with this one. it's fine . wish the crowd wasnt so judgemental thogu

beatbag I dont know this one

kappa dj: ive seen you on davidmismol thumbnails and thats basically it lel

okaye wow owwowow owowowo WOWWOWWOW

[crownrots]

K since you wanna be smart

KYLE ALPERT — my t*ou hbo baddie 😫 she’s such a ball of trauma, but also hope at the same time. she was only a teenager when the outbreak happened and over the years she’s made mistakes that forced her to grow up and take responsibility for those mistakes and those directly affected by them. she’s raising her sister’s daughter, aspen, and passing her off as her own and for nearly eighteen years she’s moved her from place to place to try and outrun her demons and make a better and safer life for her…but it hasn’t been without the past and it’s ghosts finally catching up to her.

KELSEY MOORE — another middynight mass baby. i wish i played around with her more, but, she’s a blind artisan that’s lived in crockett for most (if not all) of her life. she’s got a younger cousin that (and that cousin’s baby) that lives with her and it’s been great to have that family unit for her. she sells her pottery on the mainland at craft fairs and such, but, her life gets complicated ( sometimes for the better) when her childhood sweetheart (russell) returns home after nearly two decades and she finds herself able to see for the first time since she was a teen 🩸🦇⛪️

KASSANDRA HARMLET — a lil side b for the war criminal and flying lizards show. she’s grimm harmlet’s hot mom (the real milfs of westeros rise up!) and wants to be the matriarch of the family sooooo bad it makes her look stupid 😫 she’s a poisons expert and loves taxidermy. nobody knows how old she is because she hasn’t aged in years (it’s just genetics, girl is like 55 years YOUNG) but people thinks she’s spooky. she’s always trying to get in the good graces of those at court tho and is besties with mr foot fetish because they’re both conniving.

[screampied]

hii pretty baby!!!!! HIGURUMA IS BACKKKKKK, omg i’m like ready to give him the biggest reward for coming back home. me and the kids missed him a lot 😔

yes, i have 5 dogs!! four of them are rescued or the children of ones my family rescued and passed away. but the one that murdered the pigeon is a pitbull. she is lovely and charming, and this is not at all a normal occurrence, but we think the pigeon got inside through our yard and she got scared. this reminded of my latest cat and how she would bring lizards and rats over, and give to my sibling, who might i add, has a phobia of those two animals. she was a lil bitch and i miss her everyday.

omg, i know right? like toji might be looking stinky sometimes, but that man’s wallet is as big and thick as his cock. he just likes to spend most of it with stupid bets, but he has money. give him a sugar baby, he just needs a new hobby! on god, i would’ve send you, but that shit flopped, i’m just waiting for a bit to see if it gets better, idk.

THE WORM DOESNT LOOK SOFT. it’s an ugly think, probably smells like trash and i’m gagging already. KINGSNAKES ARE SO CUTE!!! AND THE NAME??? adorable, gimme 14 of those.

toji would 1. be the happiest man alive, 2. be the saddest man alive. i fully believe he would go around and steal peoples money. like someone by his side got a large amount, next second they are dropped out on the floor and mr. toji just got the bowl of coins!

oh, makes sense. i’m not gonna lie i thought the vaseline would go somewhere more..well, you know.

five languages? you’re so cool!!!! and i love those languages name, so unique. i speak my native language, obviously, english, italian and bits and bits of korean. i can however understand spanish, french, and for some fucking reason russian? dad says i should be a linguistic because i have facility to learn languages. i think it’s cool, i want to go back to french (i used to speak as a infant because of my dad), and learn japanese.

question for today is sweet or salty food? and who do you think has the prettiest cock in jjk? i was wondering that these days and i fully believe is gojo.

OH, AND BY THE FUCKING WAY, I READ YOUR RECENT ONE…. WHAT WAS THAT? need suguru’s head glued to my pussy 😔

nut anon

NUTTY MCNUTSAR 🙆‍♀️

HIIIIII omg pookie i got sick again istg my immune system hates me like . i was dying in bed alllll day yesterday but we lived 🫡 YESSSS HIGURUMA’S BACK WE STAN. im so curious as to how he survived bc ????? but at least he’s safe 🙂‍↕️ now its sukuna n choso’s turn YAY.

you have five dogs :(((( ugh i love dogs. literally my comfort animal. i have three. i grew up around dogs my whole life aaaaughh. i wanna get a husky one day bc they r just so cute n i love their eyes sm. so cute 🥹🥹 i have a pit bull too but she’s mixed with black lab and she’s such a sweetheart. she’s the baby of the trio but she’s always getting into trouble </3 she loves going through my closet for whateverrrr reason.

not toji’s wallet as big and thick as his cock 💀. see !!!!!!!!! i try to tell my moots this all the time but they call me delusional for defending a broke man like WHAT. no one can go band for band w toji, he has a literal hell cat and stacks for days wbk !!!!!!!

STOPPPPP WORMYGURO’S SO CUTE :(((( i just wanna poke it. kinda reminds me of slime. WHY DO U HATE HIM SO MUCH HELPDOIGKH. personally, i think his worm would smell like roses :’)

LMAO UR SO RIGHT. and omg, i saw this video on twitter where this guy in new york runs up to someone on a train and steals their salad and runs away. why do i kinda feel like toji would do that to people in las vegas help 😭😭😭😭 he could steal my food any day <3

really …… what did you think i meant ……. 🧿 i would have said lip gloss too but yk its not a fashion show its survival so 🐩

thank youuuu !!!!!!! ackkk im learning italian also !!! im just taking a break tho but its such a pretty language, french also. korean omg you’re so cool, i wanna learn korean / mandarin one day. is korean hard? ouuugh i wanna learn russian also.

hmmmm i think i prefer sweet foods. prettiest cock in jjk, maybe gojo, suguru, or nanami

TEHEHEH THANKYOU FOR READING MWAH

[cherrywade]

Oh they showed an add for the show it actually looks good, i loooovvveeee a lot of those people so I'll probably watch that as well....

Gonna be a gap in this cuz im eatin a snack...

Do Harkanons just float like that? I know in the of movie that man was just flaotin around.... oh they fall well dont they... very nice.

OOOHHH ITS JESSICA WITH TH LARGE ROCK

Worm snack!

The Femen place is so pretty!!! All sand carved and like.... geometircal. I love it.

I love this man... what is it... Stilgar? He's amazing. Growling at Paul and then "but seriously, they're demons dont listen to them. Okay have fun byyyeeee!"

Like a drunk lizard, i love her.

He's a lil desert mouse.

Oohh she's a prophecy kid too cool cool cool

I do like when he yells. Also jessica.... that voice was fuckin weird dont do that.

Now okay... how the fuck did they get her and her little tent up there....c'mon

The harkonnens make me so uncomfortable... like.... i love Mr Bautista but his shouty tantrums...ya know what maybe its just the shouty tantrums making uncomfortable.... 🤣🤣

Fuckin bene geserits. (I know thats not spelled right i dont care) "he's psychotic" "tjat doesn't matter. All that matters is can we control him" honey no, you can't, because he's psychotic. I haven't even met him yet and i know this....

Okay no its all the Harkonnens. I dont like em. Are none of them just.... normal people? Like... just chill the fuck out my god.

HE'S ALIVE!?!?!?!

They know their stupid square hats look so dumb right???

Wait THREEEE???? WHO WHO WHO???

oh literally nobody else we know... ok

Okay those fireworks are fuckin cool as hell

Do they just not like color? Or is it like... ikd they like being in black and white? For thee aesthetic

Atomic war heads... really.... ugh

BABY WORM!!!! oh.... oh.... it... is it venom??? Or blood??? Or something else??? Its a very pretty shade of blue for sure.

I feel like a lot of people in this movie have weird mouths....

Boy drank the koolaid here we go.

"What did you do to him?" GET HER ASS CHANI

Hey Jessica??? Has anyone ever told you.... that you're a huuuugggeeee bitch????? 🙃🙃🙃🙃

Poor Chani. Oh that was great slap. Fuck yeah.

Oh for fucks sake. The fucking drama of it all.

Oh good he's in his Anakin phase

Ooohhh he just yells now. Okay.

Home boy brought his whole fucking army and had .... like 15 guys in the throne room. Okay sir. Maybe wanna talk to your head of security on that one...

Ooohhh shiiiiiittt get his ass Gurney!!! Fuck his little tantrum throwing ass upppppp

Oh shit that happened faster than i expected. Gurney don't fuck around. Okay okay.

Was the shot of bugs necessary oh my god blleegg

Nice fight. Very fast.

Fuckin.... poor chani. Like... i knew that was gonna happen. But thats still fucked up. Can't wait to see the twins tho... that Paul and the shiny girl make. The children of dune kids. That'll be fun.

I liked it!!!! I maybe don't understand allll the hype. But i do enjoy the movies. They're very very pretty. Super glad i didn't see it in theaters though cuz i think it would have overwhelmed me with all the loudness and such.

[makima-s-most-smile]

okay i just have the most random question, like

what's your favorite pokémon ? iirc you reblog from time to time pokémon-related posts, and everytime i see you reblog one that's what happening in my head

that's also one of the questions i think is the most important to ask someone. like, genuinely, i think you can learn a lot by knowing someone's favorite pokémon

like, why ? how did this one in particular catch your eye ? when did you start liking your lil' critter ? did you use one in a playthrough and it stuck with you ever since ?

You want one Pokemon... ONE?!?! Q_Q I can't... Three... Take it or leave it!

Okay... This one needs an explanation. I am called Echse by my German friendgroup. (German for Lizard (The English speaking friends mostly call me Zard.)) Long story short, pen and paper character thought they had an invisible, speaking lizard at her side to explain the magic effects of the magic she didn't know she possessed. (The lizard was called Henry.... with the worst French accent... My character wasn't French... The world didn't have French people in it... Oh... To be young again...)

And then I took one of those: The day and month of your birthday and I got electric/normal... And what was the only electric/normal Pokemon? This beauty. I liked it before, but after this it became my chosen Pokemon!

And look at it! Just look at it! Not one braincell behind those big, optimistic eyes! No thoughts at all! It is stupid and I love it!

And it is one of the weakest Pokemon in the game... I love it so much... But it dies so easily... *cries*

It is lightsensitive and hides away its true self... Since I am a masking autist... Yeah... I vibe with it and want to give it love. It deserves to be cuddled and to be told that all is well and that it is loved for who it is and not for who it masks as. Pikachu is overrated anyway!

Chonky, teenage edgelord Pokemon, misunderstood to hell and beyond. Arceus is a shitty father. It is so silly, I wanna squish its face! (AND SHOWER IT WITH LOVE AND ATTENTION!) And it would be so offended. 'Stop it, human! I am a God!' And I would be like: 'Aw, silly, willy wormy. You are such a lovely stinker! Easily being caught by a master ball. Do you want to have a snacky?'

[storiesofsvu]

I've been toying with an idea about how Casey would convince Rita to adopt a cat with her, maybe you have headcanon ideas about how it might go?

(Bear with me as i’m on my phone. Expect typos/formatting issues)

Casey loves all and every kind of animals. If she wasn’t so set on her career she would totally live on a farm. A whole slew of cats, dogs, goats, pigs, maybe even a lil cow or donkey to round out the bunch

She also has a thing for creepy crawlies. Loves bugs, (probably purposely ate a lot as a kid… dont come for me). She’s always kind of wanted a snake, and loves lizards, high key wants one of those.

Naturally, she’s waiting until she’s super solidified and knows she can take care of a pet/isn’t going to have to move again with all the extra crap.

So when her & Rita get together, she starts to think about it more.

She quickly realizes that her lizard dreams are dashed the day there’s a spider in the kitchen and all she hears is a scream, a plate smashing & she finds Rita ON the kitchen island her limbs all pulled up tight, absolutely terrified.

Casey naturally scoops up the spider (with her bare hands, which Rita makes her wash approx 8 times before Casey can touch her again) and drops it outside. Rita’s wishing she’d killed it.

Since they’ve had the kid conversation basically on their first date they both know that’s not an issue, but Casey starts to bring up getting a dog.

“Casey… I *know* you want a golden…. We cannot have a big dog in this apartment..”

“Okay what about a smaller dog?”

“Dogs are messy. And they take more time & care & we both work such crazy hours already. They slobber… and smell…”

“The Queen has corgi’s…. You cannot tell me you wouldn’t get the same dog the QUEEN has… they’re OBVIOUSLY classy.”

Rita lets out a slightly annoyed sigh. (Only slightly because Casey is giving her an adorable pout & her best puppy eyes & Rita almost always gives in when she does that).

They entertain the idea for a bit, and when Amanda takes a trip down south, Rita offers that Casey will dog sit Frannie (at AMANDA’s apt cause like hell Frannie’s getting near the prauda)

That’s when Casey is reminded just how much work a dog really is. And Frannie doesn’t even shed that much but Casey still finds herself (and as such, Rita) covered in dog hair *much* to Rita’s distate.

Casey lowkey sulks for a week about it, but Amanda always lets Casey take Frannie to play whenever she wants.

They’re coming out of a meeting one day with Barba & he’s all “why don’t you just get a cat? They basically take care of themselves…” Rita shoots him daggers, Casey’s eyes light up like the fourth of July.

They end up agreeing on fostering, because to Rita, it’s not long term.

Until she absolutely falls in love with this stupid little fluff ball she’d meant to hate.

Casey names it something ridiculous, like Bernard cause of the little grey tufts by his ears.

Bernard trots along after Rita no matter where she goes in the house. It doesn’t even matter if Casey’s home, she’ll have to come grab the cat as it tries to climb up Rita’s leg while she’s making breakfast.

Casey’s long passed out one night, having spent the day in the park with her soft ball team playing & drinking in the sun. It was an early night for her.

Rita’s working away in the office, heavy into a closing argument when there’s this scratchy little “meow?” And she looks up, Bernard is perched in the space on the floor in front of her desk, head tilted with a curious expression.

“Oh alright.” She half scoffs, waving the cat to her, “but you tell no one.” She gives him a glare while he happily trots up to her and jumps into her lap. First he tries to steal her pen, chewing along the end of it. She eventually gives up and lets him have it, and he very happily curls up in her lap and goes to sleep.

She ends up working three hours longer than she’d intended cause she doesn’t want to move him.

A couple of days later Casey comes home saying the shelter still hasn’t had anyone come forward & they want to know if they want to keep him. (Casey also happens to have come home with Rita’s fave takeout & her fave gourmet chocolates)

Rita tries to play it cool but it becomes pretty apparent as Bernard slinks through her legs and she scoops him up without a second thought, scratching between his ears as the conversation continues.

Casey shoots her a wicked grin & says something like “I think Bernard chose his rightful Mom already”

And obviously they keep the cat.

[hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong]

FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!!!!

Rex and Quetzalcoatl had a pair of twins that they cared for very much. A girl named Maria, and a boy named Eduardo.

The twins were born on the 25th of September, and that date had arrived so it was time to celebrate their birthday!

In the morning, Mari was peacefully asleep.

Mari: *SNOOOOOOORE!*

Quetz, softly: mijaaaaaaa....

Mari: mmm....!

Quetz: mijaaaaaaa.....!

Mari, sleepily: mama..... I wanna..... sneeeeep......!

Quetz: but mija, it's your birthday today....!

Mari: hmmm.....

Quetz: did you hear me, mija?

Mari: *grumble* ok..... *sigh* I'm getting up already.

Mari got up, still very tired.

Mari: Da hell's my glasses?

Quetz handed her her glasses.

Mari: gracias....

Quetz: you should probably hurry, everyone else is already getting ready.

Mari: who the hell is everyone else?

Quetz: just the rest of the family.

Mari: hmmmm.... okay...... was worried I'd have to deal with a party.....

Quetz: don't worry, we know you don't enjoy those. It'll be just the family.

Mari: good....

After some time getting ready, Maria went out into the living room.

Mari, while yawning: ok.... how long will it take to get there again?

Rex: uh... not too long, maybe an hour or so on the serpent.

Ed: still crazy how fast he can be.

Quetz: well of course my familiar would be fast! It'd be a bit disappointing otherwise.

After a bit of time getting ready, the family went outside to see Quetz's pterosaur outside ready to go!

Quetz: ok everyone! Get on!

The family got onto the large flying reptile.

Rex: ok then. Now just a simple invisibility spell so we're not spotted on our way there.

Ed: radar won't work either right?

Rex: right, I've got everything covered, Mijo.

After that, the beast took off!

After some time in the air, their destination was in sight: Mexico City!

Ed: wow!

Mari: such a massive city.

Quetz: ah, it's been too long since we've been here.

Finally the pterosaur landed and they got off to go out into the city!

Rex: man, this place brings back memories!

Ed: so, where to first anyways?

Quetz: it's up to you guys

Mari: breakfast!

Rex: ok yeah, should probably eat first

*stomachs were growling*

The family went to a nice restaurant for their breakfast.

Quetz: mija, those are a lot of pancakes...

Mari: si, and?

Rex: your mother is just a bit concerned for you is all.

Mari: hmmm, sounds unnecessary.

Rex: also Ed, is that enough bacon?

Ed: hmmm.... maybe.

After breakfast, there were still many things that could be done.

First thing, was visiting the old site of Teotihuacan.

Quetz: *sigh* it's been a very long time.....

Mari: looks kinda.... decrepit.

Rex: kinda par for the course with old ruins and shit.

Ed: ....is there a ball court?

Quetz: si, but I doubt we're allowed to play these days.

Ed: awww....

Next stop, was the Aquarium.

Mari: Shork

Ed: Shork

Rex: ya real fascinated by those sharks huh?

Quetz: don't ya wanna see the penguins?

Ed: Penguins?!?!

Rex: also piranhas.

Mari: PIRANHAS?!?!?!

Next was the Zoo

Rex: mi corazon, it's just a random Jaguar. There's no need to cause a scene.

Quetz: I CAN SEE MY STUPID BROTHER TAUNTING ME THROUGH IT'S EYES!!!!

Mari: Mamá, not every Jaguar is Tio Tez.

Ed: we're gonna get kicked out if you don't stop.....

Rex: really hope there aren't any spiders too.

Another fun site, was the museum.

Ed: so..... this is Piedra del Sol?

Quetz: si

Mari: but... so is your noble phantasm?

Quetz: si

Ed: ....how does that work?

Rex: don't ask too many questions about this kinda stuff. You'll get it eventually.

Finally, it was getting a bit late. So it was time to return home.

Mari: we getting the presents now?!?!?

Rex: si, si. You relax will ya?

Ed: you already know she can be a bit greedy.

Quetz: it's better that you try to relax that, Mija.

When they finally got home, a Large assortment of presents were waiting for them.

Mari: Hell yeah!

Ed: hmmmmmm......

Mari: let's see.... which one first....

Mari first grabbed one with.... very unique wrapping, eyes and other odd things decorated the paper.

When she unwrapped it, what was inside was a plush wolf

Mari: AAAWWW!!!

Ed, opening a similar box, got a plush Narwhal.

Ed: oooooh!

And the horn started to glow

Ed: huh

Rex: ....that's a sword

Quetz: it's definitely a sword

Mari: also, my plush smells poisonous.

Rex: well.... that's par for the course for your Tia Quinny.

Next were.... slot machines?

Ed: so we just... pull them?

Quetz: I guess so?

The twins pull the levers of the slot machines.

The machines spun their slots for a time, until finally stopping on 3 symbols that looked like present boxes. Then out of the machines, popped out tickets for both kids.

Mari: oh

Ed: huh

From Mari's popped out VIP tickets to a Music Festival.

Mari: POG

And from Ed's popped out, a soccer season pass.

Ed: oh word?!

And finally, matching tickets for the two, for "5 hours of use of the Mooncell" from BB

Mari: ......

Ed: .......

Quetz: well that sure is.... interesting.

After that, was another box. Wrapped in blue wrapping paper. The two unwrapped it, and inside were two gecko eggs. Along with incubators and everything necessary to raise lizards. With a lil tag saying "from Calamity" (Chalchiuhtlicue)

Mari: LIZARD

Ed: they're cute!

Next were two VERY big gifts wrapped in bone patterned wrapping.

Mari: gimme!

After Mari unwrapped the gift, what she found was a VERY large obsidian Hammer.

Mari: ah hell yeah!

SLAM

Ed: damn.... ok.

For Ed, was a large Obsidian Club.

Ed: oh fuck, ok.

Rex: there a reason Xolotl decided to give such gifts?

Quetz: good question.....

Then a very deep and loud *CROAK* was heard

Ed: FROGE

Then hopping out, was a very VERY large bullfrog. About a foot and a half in length!

Ed: OH HE'S A LARGE LAD!

Mari: damn.

Rex: mija, look behind that tree.

Mari: hmm?

When Mari looked, she saw a Huge car! Modeled after the Batmobile!

(Tho, with bat theming replaced with skulls)

Mari: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

After latching onto the car, Mari was very happy.

Mari: finally.......! I can drive!

Quetz: can we trust her with that?

Rex: we'll play it by ear.

And in a small package near the center of the pile. Was a first aid kit, with a note.

"Happy birthday you two, hope you enjoy the car and frog. And don't forget to stay safe with the first aid kit love, Florence, Julius and Eva."

Mari: awwww.....

Ed: so sweeet....

There were many other presents from friends and family alike, more toys, clothes, even laptops too.

Then it was finally time for Rex and Quetz's presents for the kids.

Boom

Mari: the hell?

Then, out of the trees of the nearby jungle, came a large animal. A dinosaur known as Giganotosaurus.

Mari: oh...!

The creature stomped up to the family, until it stopped in front of Mari.

Mari: holy crap.....

Rex: now you have your own divine familiar too, Mija!

Mari: oh shit!

Quetz: si, wasn't sure why you didn't get one the same time as Ed's Pliosaur, but now we got you one!

Mari: finally!

Quetz: and for Mijo, it may not be as big. But since you already got your Pliosaur. We got you this instead.

In Quetz's hands, was what looked to be an electric eel. Tho it glittered with green sparkles, not unlike that of jade.

Ed: whoa, he's an odd lil guy.

Rex: he's very special too. He's not just any electric eel. But a divine construct at that!

Quetz: si, his name is Onotlachin. The storm fish.

Ed: hot damn!

Ed held the lil guy in his hands, and felt the energy within the fish. It also seemed perfectly fine without water.

Ed: he's amazing, gracias!

Mari: si! Gracias for this!

Rex: no problem you two!

Quetz: si, anything for mis hijos!

A/N: and there's the birthday story. Sorry it came out a bit late. Things happened irl. Hopefully everyone likes it! And the festivities can still continue on throughout the weekend and even longer if anyone wants to celebrate with us.

Tags

@hasbbdoneanythingwrong @havetheavengersdoneanythingwrong @hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @exmeowstic @grievouslyxorvia @panyum @witch-of-chaldea @chaldeamage-neo @hasnightingaledoneanythingwrong @renmeo @writer-and-artist27

[merlinssaggyyfronts]

BBC Merlin Rewatch:

01x01: The Dragon’s Call

—

FIRSTLY THE FUCKING DESCRIPTION LMAO “Merlin, a young country boy” COUNTRY BOY AHAHDHSNDH IF ONLY YOU KNEW!!! ITS LIKE SETTING SOMEONE UP FOR DISASTER BUT THEN AGAIN THEY WERE SO LIKE I MEAN-

aw look at merlin all happy and smily, walking into camelot like he isnt going to witness the death of his best friend/king and basically everyone he loves

LOOK AT HIM HES SO HAPPY!!! HE DOESNT KNOW YET

“like everyone, he must live and learn” yo shut ur bitchass up lizard man u literally tried to murder everyone in camelot that one time

“his name: traumatised 😍😍”

AH YES THE OPENING!!1!1!-!-! AHHH THE AMOUNT OF HAPPINESS I FEEL HEARING THE OPENING

fuck ur bitchass uther no one likes u

“i pride myself as a fair and just king” sir didnt u like basically kill ur wife... and thousands of peo- OH MY GOD MORGANA BB ILY

oh jesus okay hes dead um chile-

“when i came to this land” wait i thought he was raised kn camelot brb i forgot im an idiot wait,,, does this mean before this it was the du bois family on the throne of camelot?? also, mired in chaos? u mean like.... before ur wife died and everyone was living peacefully? ....okay

“merlin, seeing a person who's been stated had been studying magic get beheaded: [a magical being himself] ah,, welcoming.” -my gf

“since the great dragon was captured” ....so did no one think about where they put a dragon?? a captured one at that. ud think he’d be more smart but nah he just left a random ass dragon under his castle like THAT is going to end well

YUHH MARY COLLJNS HATE HIM!!! YELL BABEY YELL!!! “you took my son!” YES MURDER HIM OMG I CAN FEEL HER PAIN

“a son for a son!” omg why couldnt u have killed uther bb ur the perfect villain i love u ur literally just a loving mother i-

OOOOO GAIUS

.....why is there a bunny mask in there

why is thERE A BUNNY MASK-

why didnt merlins eyes glow when he dragged the bed to gaius to save him

also whats this slomo magic why didnt he do this after this why did season one haveso much magic and like every other season was just everyone throwing it back

like i get instinctual magic but like.... if its instinctual wouldnt it happen more especially when his powers get stronger-

gaius: what did you just do?!

also gaius, five seconds later: i know what it was!! i just wanted to know where you learned it

merlin: 😐

merlin, about his magic: i was born like this

gaius, who knows full well warlocks exist: impossible!

(are warlocks naturally born knowing how to use magic without learning? i mean if u have to learn magic like a sorcerer then whats the difference between a warlock and a sorcerer cuz wouldnt sorcerers atleast have to have some magic in them to actually cast spells? am i dumb or do i just not get it)

wait so merlin arrived in camelot on a wednesday

merlin, walking into camelot: it is wednesday my dudes

merlin: [witnesses an execution] aaaAAAAAA-

“someone that might help him find a purpose of his gifts” oh honey he’ll get something mUCH LARGER THAN THAT-

—

oH MORGANA

SHUT UR BITCHASS UTHER SHE WILL KILL YOU-

“the more brutal you are, the more enemies you’ll create” oh the waY SHE PREDICTED THEIR FUTURE OO

ah bless u lady helen/mary collins we love them spicy villains

...why do you have a dressing table in a tent

[watches mary collins murder lady helen] i never snitch on dadd- ...someone pls delete me

merlin, about his instinctual magic: i just do it!

gaius: ...lord have mercy what did i just sign myself up to

what ever happened to sir olwen did he die from accidentally overdosing

—

oHHH THERE HE IS THERE HE IS THERES MY BOY!!! MY LIL PRAT MAN!!!!

merlin looks so offended, oh god i could watch this whole scene for HOURS

oooOOOO YES MERLIN FUCK HIM UP!!! SHOW HIM WHOS BOSS

“do i know you?” “im merlin” “so i dont know you” ugh theres already sexual tension

“i would never have a friend who could be such an ass” “or i one so stupid”

also them, ten years later: “i use my magic for you arthur, only you” “just hold me” “i cant lose him! hes my friend!” “thank you..”

“tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?” OOOOH THE BOYS ARE FLIRTING

NOT THE “would you like me to help you?” SIR YOU ARE FLIRTING SO INTENSELY AND DONT EVEN REALISE IT SIR DO YOU KNOW YOURE FALLING IN LOVE

im convinced atleast half the knights with arthur were like “ayo thas kinda sus bro 😳😳 ayo 😳😳”

arthur: tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees? would you like me to help you?

merlin: ....i really dont know how to answer that

imagine being paid to throw fruits at colin morgan omg id be so thrilled

OOOH HERE COMES OUR QUEEN GWEN!!! MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING YES ILY

gwen: well, arthur looks like one of those, save the world kinda men... and you dont

merlin, 1500 years later, having failed his destiny: well i mean you’re not wrong

—

gaius: uther banned magic a long time ago

merlin, flabbergasted as if he wasnt raised on tales of the death of his kind every day in the kingdom right next to his: why?!?!?

gaius: the dragon is imprisoned where nobody can free him

merlin:

(that is the face of someone knowing full well hes going to free that dragon. look at him. he’s already made up his mind.)

—

[sees merlin and arthur in the marketplace] oh heres he is again heres the lil bitxh ooo theyre about to FIGHT

god hes flirting so hard without even realising it, oh my god

“i could take you apart with one blow” “i could take you apart with less” um sirs this is a mcdonalds drive thru 😃

arthur: ahah, you’re in trouble now~ 😏😏

i had to pause cuz wHAT THE HELL WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE THAT-

—

....yall are yelling very loudly, um, arent there guards near yall? people passing by? please relax

“im just a nobody, and i always will be” OH IF ONLY YOU KNEWWW

“if i cant use magic, i might as well die” ....well, ive got a surprise for you-

“maybe theres someone with more magic than me?” like... a whole dragon? i mean if you say so 👀

merlin about why he was born like this: if you cant tell me, no one can!

a fucking dragon, basically every magical creature and the druids: WELL-

the camelot guards are so stupid how the hell is this kingdom still standing

how does kilgharrah know merlins name? in prophecy hes known as emrys (and we see basically every magical being call him emrys and not merlin,, i think). so how does he know? did he stretch his neck long enough that he could somehow hear merlin? is it cuz theyre kin? is it cuz merlin and gaius were yelling so loudly that kilgharrah could hear them all the way in his cave? ig we’ll never know 🖐

merlin: where are you?!

kilgharrah:

kilgharrah: without you, arthur will never succeed.

merlin: ....oh look, im already paranoid

the amount of sadness i feel hearing kilgharrah say “none of us can choose our destiny, merlin. and none of us can escape it” is INSANE cuz in season one you can SEE merlin trying to escape it. hes doing his damned best trying to have some control over his life. and then in later seasons you can see the light slowly drain from his eyes as he becomes just another toy for the gods to be entertained by. he realises he cant control a single thing about his life so he does the one thing he can: protect arthur. and he loses SO MUCH because of it! its not fair, he deserved so much, and when he finally got everything he could ever ask for, it was taken away from him by his own mistakes.

arthur, seeing morgana in a beautiful dress: god have mercy 😍

uther: .....um

the way they set arthur and morgana up as if they arent gonna make them siblings i- what the fawk 😄

person A, who knows arthurian lore: oh no! arthur is going to have an affair with morgan(a) and have mordred! oh no!!

person B, whos seen merlin: oh no in this show its worse

person B, knowing full well theyre siblings: much worse....

gwen: who’d wanna marry arthur? 🙄

-

gwen, getting crowned queen of camelot: well fuck

hhhnghnh yes queen sing them to sleep yes murder his bitchass (and fail but like its the thought that counts)

on a sidenote tho this is such a fun way to murder someone, id try this

the absolutely OFFENDED “FATHER!” and the horrified look in arthurs eyss when uther announced merlin would be his manservant is PRICELESS OMG

oh the way uther unintentionally plants the first seed of his sons love story omg 😍😍

Conclusion: this episode is a 10/10 greatest episode with so many iconic scenes omg. mary collins u will forever have my heart for unintentionally kickstarting merlin and arthurs relationship destiny. i loved the whole thing and oh GOD does it already hurt knowing full well how the show ends

[quilloftheclouds]

Hi Quill ~ it’s @iparisaltanwing from main 👋🏻

I’m developing a new wip! And I’m prettt excited; just in time for nano. I’d intended to get a head start but then I got blindsided by some deadlines that were approaching faster than anticipated so…. Hehe (on a side note I had a pharmacy school interview yesterday and that’s how my personal life is going)

ANYWAY WIP STUFF: I’m thinking detectives but fwb and horrible slow burn mutual pining and there were def two beds there but they only used one. I’m in the process of developing “fatal flaws” for each character, so to speak. One trait each that makes them infuriatingly unable to make any decision besides the stupid one because that’s just their nature. And like I don’t have a plot but usually if I have enough character stuff going for me then a plot kind of lands in my lap at the end of it so *fingers crossed*

How are you?? Take care of yourself! And finally… look at this smol bean

Hi hi hihiiii!!!! Oh oh! School interview! I hope it went well, those things can get sooo stressful. :o It's awesome you're developing a new wip--I know when you've got the inspiration, it's always the most fun to come up with new characters and plots!!

STUPID DETECTIVES. Always a favourite. They seem so super intelligent in solving mysteries and noting details and evidence but you take them and put them in any situation without a crime to follow and oops. They got not a clue. XD

LOOKIT THE LIL BEAN. I live nowhere near a warm enough place for lizards but I absolutely love reptiles and amphibians and any sorts. <3 I can't really tell from the image, but is it an anole of some type?

[takerfoxx]

Jurassic Park 4: Doki Idol Live Festival!

magic5ball submitted:

Remember how you asked me about my idea for a Jurassic Park sequel? Well, here you go:

The two velociraptors stood outside a pastel colored town house in Hokkaido prefecture, Japan. If any passerbys thought that was weird, they certainly didn’t show it. Probably because the raptors were wearing fedoras and fake mustaches, so they looked like humans. Also they had guns. Very cool, very intimidating mobster guns. A tommy gun and a sawed-off shotgun, respectively.

You needed guns, to survive Shinzo Abe’s little empire of vice and socialized medical care.

“So this is the place, huh?” muttered the velociraptor carrying the sawed-off shotgun. His thick Brooklyn accent hung in the air like concrete. “Kinda… frillier than I was expecting.”

“It better be.” Replied his companion, who sounded like your racist conservative uncle trying to impersonate that one cool guy from ‘The Godfather’ (You know, the one with the mustache who was played by Robert de Niro). “We hadda kill a whole lotta people to get this hellhole.”

Sawed-off shotgun licked his non-existent lizard lips

“But hey. That airplane stewardess tasted mighty fine goin-“

“Oh, for f*ck’s sake, would ya stop thinkin’ with your stomach and help me with this f*ckin’ knob!” cried tommy gun, trying to work the doorknob best he could with his raptor claws, which, in all honesty, wasn’t much, because raptor claws are terrible at operating things meant for human fingers. Little did he know, the door was a ‘pull’, not a ‘push.

At least he didn’t have to wait long before someone unlocked the door from the other side: another velociraptor, this one a bit on the short side. And p!ssed. Very, very p!ssed. You could tell he was the cool one because he wore an eyepatch over one eye. An eyepatch with a Captain Underpants logo on it.

“Didn’t your parent’s ever teach you idiots about using the doorbell?! I was just about to enjoy lunch with my beautiful wife and you-!“

He paused, recognizing the two figures facing him.

“Well, well, well” Said tommy gun, cocking his weapon “If it isn’t SWEET JOHN HAMMOND’S BALLSACK WHAT THE F*CK AM I LOOKING AT?!”

For the cool raptor was dressed in a gothic Lolita maid outfit, complete with a bonnet and penny loafers. Under his arm he carried a human sized pillow depicting what appeared to be a blonde floozy with massive tits.

 “Oh this? This is Mami Tomoe, my beautiful wife.”

“WHAT THE F*CK!?!?” Tommy gun pulled out a flask off orange Fanta from his butthole and drank the whole thing in one go. He did NOT have time for this homosexual weeaboo nonsense! Still, he and shotgun hadn’t left a mountain of corpses the exact height and width as Mt. Fuji behind them. Too many to go back to Isla Nublar empty handed. Er, clawed. Because they were dinosaurs. Who have claws.

Shotgun took a deep breath. “What the Boss means to say is, ‘May we take refuge in this fine establishment?’”

Cool raptor opened his mouth to reveal a pistol he’d hidden there. And by hidden I mean replaced his tongue with it.

“You know, for all crap you guys used to give me in the past, I oughta pump you full of lead right here and now. Buuutttt… the lady of the house is present, and I’m not in the mood to create more work on her end. So come on in! You’re just in time for lunch.”

Lest they attract unneeded attention, the three dinosaurs hopped inside.

.   .   .

Lunch was omurice boba tea with a bottle of teriyaki sauce on the side. It was just boba tea, but the boba had been replaced by omurice because F-Bomb hated the flavor of boba, which he likened to rabbit crap. The teriyaki sauce was teriyaki sauce.

It was the most racist thing shotgun had ever eaten.

“Well, now that you jerks have gotten a taste of my sloppy seconds, I suppose some introductions are in order. You’ve already met my lovely wife” Cool raptor gestured to the body pillow seated next to him “So that leaves you two. Mami, meet A-Hole and D-Bag. A-Hole’s got the tommy gun, D-Bag is ridin’ her sawed off shotgun, as always. They’re old… acquaintances of mine.”

“He.” Corrected D-Bag. “I’ve been using he/him pronouns six months now.”

“Well that’s an improvement. Now instead of bein’ the Boss’ side B!tch literally, you’re just his b!tch figuratively!”

“Well screw you too, F-Bomb!” laughed the boss. “An’ speakin’ of screwing, what’s with the fruity get up? You a prostitute now or something?”

 “Even better! This might surprise you, but I’ve got legitimate work now. This here’s my uniform, my uniform for MILF TIDDIES!”

A-Hole chugged his entire bottle of teriyaki sauce in one go, lest his mind implode from the sheer stupidity of that sentence.

“The Hell’s a milf tiddie!?”

“Only the best freakin’ maid café in Hoikaido, hookers!”

He gestured to a wall, covered in hundreds of photos of cute floozies dressed like they were attending a vampire’s funeral. Among them was a photo of F-Bomb in his drag, serving a deep fried hot dog to some elderly Japanese dude.

“As you can see, yours truly is serving Japan’s national desert to none other than 57th Prime Minister of Japan Shinzo Abe!”

“Hold it up. Youse been hobnobbing it with politicians?!”

“I wish! You’re thinking of Shinzo Abe, 57th Prime Minister of Japan. This guy is his twin brother. Still pretty sweet though. We DID win a Grammy for that, after all.”

A-Holes eyes bulged out of his scaly raptor head.

“YOUSE WON A GRAMMY FOR THAT?!”

“Dang right! Milf Tiddies has won sixteen Grammys since I started working there!” He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. A very special piece of paper, if the six holes punched into it were any indication. “Did you know that if you win ten Grammys in a row, they give you a free orphan? That’s how the wife and I got our glorious daughter, Lil’ Nagisa!”

F-Bomb pulled a faded photo out of his wallet. A photo showing himself, his pillow wife, and a smaller body pillow of a ten-year-old moeblob wearing a Green Bay Packers cheesehead helmet.

“So youse couldn’t even conceive your own kid?” Inquired D-Bag sexily. He was munching his omurice slowly, so F-Bomb knew he was being serious.

“Are you implying I have sex with my own wife, you sick freak?! I’m a weeaboo, not some degenerate anime fanboy! Get it straight!” He instinctively cocked the pistol in his throat. It was awesome as hell.

In response, D-Bag pumped his shotgun. Loudly.

“Permission to put the sick freak out of his misery, Boss?”

“Firstly, don’t call me Boss when we’re not having anal sex. Second, no can do, my spicy lover. We need F-Bomb alive.”

F-Bomb heard all of this even though A-Hole whispered it, but he pretended not to make A-Hole feel clever.

D-Bag mumbled about how the Boss was lucky he was so mind blowing in the sack, otherwise he would have left the relationship long ago. The sack in this case being a really kinky sex dungeon. Like really kinky. So kinky even Donald Trump wouldn’t go within a mile of it. D-Bag had almost died of autoerotic asphyxiation more times than I’ve gone to the bathroom in my lifetime. That’s why he was the smartest dinosaur out of the three of them. Now where was I again?

Anyway, F-Bomb interrogated

“Alright guys, what’s the deal? I know folks who come to this socialized medical care infested hellhole, and they don’t come here just to eat omurice boba tea. You WANT me for something.”

He cocked his mouth-pistol again. Sparks flew all over the carpet, which was made of alpaca fur so it didn’t catch fire.

A-Hole scandalously kept his cool.

“It’s about Isla Nublar.”

The second those words left A-Hole’s lips, F-Bomb escorted his wife out of the kitchen, but leaned her against the kitchen door, because that’s what she would have wanted.

“Well what about it? I told ya guys, I’m done with that dump.”

“They’re puttin’ the screws on us, F-Bomb. Making us pay for eating those tourists back in the nineties.”

“And what makes you think I care? Like I said, I’m done with that place. I got a wife and kid now.”

“But F-Bomb, doesn’t the Park mean ANYTHING to ya!? What about the time we ate that park ranger that called you a girl? ‘Better than sex’ I recall you saying.”

“Nice try, but I’m not exactly in the mood to get misgendered again. Don’t you guys got any ideas that don’t involve me?”

“As a matter of fact, yours truly had this really spectacular one!”

D-Bag did a hand gesture wherein he constantly crossed his dinosaur claws across his throat rapidly in quick succession. A-Hole, being very smart, knew this meant he should continue, loudly enough so that everyone in the prefecture could hear.

“It was called ‘Trump Ballz’. We’d harvest Donald Trump’s testicles, see, and sell them to the highest bidder, so they could do whatever people do with lopped off testicles. I’m not one to judge. It was a terrific idea. I know because when I told my best friend Donald Trump about it, he said, ���A-Hole, this is an incredible idea. Absolutely terrific! This is probably the best idea in America! You are very smart, very intelligent dinosaur! I oughta buy you a prostitute!’ Of course, we didn’t realize that Trump’s ballz don’t grow back when you lop them off. Did you know that by the way? Human testicles don’t grow back-“

F-Bomb cocked the pistol inside his throat gain, getting the Boss to shut up. This was probably the most heroic thing anyone had ever done in the history of the universe. He also asked a question:

“SO WHAT THE HECK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME?!”

A-Hole vomited a severed arm and a pamphlet onto the table.

“EVERYTHING, ya WEEB trash!”

The pamphlet was for something called the Doki Idol Live Fest- DILF, for short. F-Bomb was no stranger to the DILF, but they had parted ways years ago. Six, to be exact, when he had buried Nico Yazawa’s still screaming corpse by the side of the highway. And neither was he stranger to the prize.

It looked like a beer and soda drinking baseball cap, but only to complete idiots who didn’t know crap about the Idol Life.

And F-Bomb wasn’t one of those people, er dinosaurs.

“THE MCGUFFIN OF SIN?!”

“Dam* straight! And like it or not, youse the only one with enough idol know-how to help us win it! Thing’s worth, like, a zillion dollars.”

A zillion in this case was equivalent to half a million. Still, isn’t that impressive?

F-Bomb stuck his nose in his omurice and snorted, a common intimidation tactic among velociraptors. I know because I read  it in the Scientific American.

“Sorry, guys, but even with that on the line, no can do. I’m DONE with the Idol Life, any I’m not letting you filthy casuals drag me back in.” He cocked the pistol in his throat. “NOW SCRAM!”

A-Hole and D-Bag jumped out a window, so they could get the jump on a feral dog humping its’ owner. Nobody realized they were dinosaurs because of their fake mustaches, so it looked like a pair of mobsters were eating a puppy.

When they were gone, F-Bomb pranced to the bathroom, which was filled with plush alpacas he had collected over the years. So many, in fact, the bathroom did not meet OSHA compliance. Which was why F-Bomb had made it an independent nation state, only to realize that OSHA didn’t apply to him anyway, since he lived in Japan.

He had felt really stupid after that, but at least he got his own country out of it.

Anyway, he vomited sixteen liters of blood into the sink, for F-Bomb had a secret: he was dying. Back when he was a fetus in an egg in a lab on some island in the Caribean, he’d become addicted to the illegal street drug known as WEEB, and frequent use had poisoned his lungs. The doctors had given him Socialized Medical Care and four more years to live. The WEEB had taken eighty years off his life. Socialized Medical Care had borrowed his lawnmower and never given it back.

But F-Bomb also had a dream: he and his wife were going to build their own maid café, and it would be even better than MILF Tiddies. He’d already picked a title: DILF Tiddies, and it was going to be the greatest food-selling establishment in the history of Japan. Omurice boba tea was going to go global. But he’d never get the funds on time, not on his meager salary. Unless…

His beautiful wife greeted him as he exited the bathroom.

“Get a pen and some razor blades, sweetgums. I’ve got a letter to send.”

.   .   .

The message arrived in the neck of a mailman’s severed head. This is the traditional way velociraptors send letters to each other. I read it in a book.

D-Bag didn’t see the letter, but the look on A-Hole’s face told him everything.

“What’d I tell ya, D-Bag? Like I always say, when you’re dino you’re dino all the way, till youse dead in the ground or youse come out as gay!”

“Yeah, we really need to update those lyrics.”

End Chapter 1

...I cannot for the life of me decide if this is the greatest thing I've ever seen or the worst, but it at the very least had me staring speechless at my computer screen for a long time.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #311

“somebody told me you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that i had in february of last year.”

What is something that is so awful it gives you pain in your teeth? Extremely sweet and/or cold treats. What is something you would like to teach someone? I love educating people about meerkats, snakes, tarantulas, opossums... lots of animals. What is something people tend to come to you about? For me to take pictures for them. What is something you would be willing to gamble? I don't mess with that. What's something you're absolutely 100% sure about yourself? Uhhh that I really like creating things and just being artistic. How often do you self-reflect? Probably too much, really. When was the last time you realized that you were the problem, if ever? I feel like a problem now, still living with and financially depending on my mom. If applicable, what's the furthest you've traveled because of a hobby? Ha, Mom and I got lost driving one day looking for roadkill for me to photograph (that will always feel weird saying) and wound up pretty far north from home, kinda close to Virginia. It was a fun afternoon/evening. What are some sights around the world you would like to see some day? I'm honestly not crazy about pursuing ancient architecture, but I'd take the opportunity for some if I could, especially in Egypt. OH! Venice would be cool, and whatever that city is with the umbrella "ceiling" layer outside. Do you have souvenirs from other countries? If so, what and from where? No. Apart from sleeping, name something you enjoy doing in bed: Sit on my laptop or read. Do you believe in ghosts? Yeah, or at least something of the sort. Do you stay friends with your exes? Girt and I are close friends, while the others I don't have contact with. Not because we're on bad terms (I may be w/ Jason, but I think our last meeting was freeing for both of us and distilled any remaining tension), we just don't talk. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? Pretty sure no, I'd crash. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? One or two. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? No. How many pregnant people do you know? Good Lord, a lot. People are bored in quarantine apparently lmao. Who was the last person to play with your hair? Myself, outta boredom, kinda just twirling it. Have you ever seen the inside of a computer? Yeah. ^If yes, can you name any of the components? I could probably identify the motherboard. If you could get a new phone right now, would you/which kind? I would. Idk what kind, though; I'm not very familiar with what's up-to-date. Have you ever cut your own hair? No. If you had the chance, would you start your life entirely over? No. How old is the eldest member of your family? I don't know really, given both pairs of my grandparents are dead. Probably some aunt or uncle on Mom's side. I don't remember their birth order. Do you drink the milk from the bowl after you eat all the cereal? No, it grosses me out for whatever reason. UNLESS it's after a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, then I'll drink it. Do you know anybody who has had an online relationship? Yeah, me, and some others. One thing that your guy best friend doesn't like about you: He's never told me about something he doesn't like, so I can't speak for him. How about your girl best friend? Ummm you'd have to ask her, too. Do you loan your friends money? *recites the usual financial woe story* Are you taller than your siblings? No. Do you have “photoshoots” with your friends/family members? Definitely not regularly by any means. Are you generous? If you ignore monetary generosity for obvious reasons, I think I am in other ways. Are you afraid of lizards? No no no, I love those tiny lil dinosaur boiz and gorls!!!!! :''') Ahhh, I want a tegu especially one day. How legible is your signature? It's perfectly legible, imo. How hot are your neighbors? I don't even know my neighbors. Well, Mom's spoken to the woman to our left more than once if they were both outside, but I know she's an older woman whose appearance I never really noted, but regardless, I know I wasn't attracted to her. Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who's your buddy? Yeah, I can finally play it regularly since they began offering a daily box with a few items in it, like the balls. I'm not checking, but I think I'm like... around 23? My buddy is Charmeleon because I love love loooove that evolution line and absolutely want a Charizard ASAP. :') What's the most daring thing you have ever done? I guess that would be the story about how I challenged my rather intense fear of fair rides that can trouble the stomach by going on whatever the thing's called where you slowly go very high up and then drop down abruptly. Yeah yeah yeah, I was safe the whole time, but it was daring by my standards, haha. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It's been pierced twice already; the first time it closed while I was in the psych hospital and had to take it out, and the second one I just gave up with it after I kept losing them in my sleep and they just fell into the fucking void or something because I could never find them come morning. I eventually had none left to replace those I'd lost. And yes, I wore the curved types, they still just came out somehow???? Probably didn't help that I sleep like, ON my face sometimes, but... lol. I've been thinking of doing it one more time, but this time with a hoop ring. Nostril piercings are just really cute to me. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Somehow. Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend? She's single. Do you have tan lines? HA. Absolutely not. Not even in the summer. Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip piercing? Yeah, he had snake bites. Has anyone told you they were in love with you? Yeah. Have you ever seen a bald eagle in person? Yes. Have you ever been vomited on? What about in vice versa? Oh my fucking god no, don't even make me imagine it. What is one family member you wish you were closer to? My sisters. When and where did you lose your virginity? Since then, what was the longest time you've ever gone without sex? I dunno, his bed or mine when I was maybe like 16 or 17. Been many years. What is your biggest fear about making a total commitment to someone? That I'll experience heartbreak again. Do you think that your life is exciting enough to be made into a movie? Do you think anybody would actually enjoy it if it were a movie? lol fuuuuck no If you were the opposite sex, would you be attracted to you? I don't know? If I was a different person, I'd obviously have unique tastes, too. Have you ever walked around your house naked? Oh no, I'm way too uncomf for that. Do you prefer profile pictures of you by yourself or with someone else? Me by myself. Did it bother you to find out that Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Toothfairy were not real? Not really, no. I'd been suspicious about it for a long time anyway. Is there a food that you only recently started to like? If so, what is it and when did you start liking it? How often do you try again foods you don't like to see if your tastes have changed? Hm... I'm unsure about "recently." I'm not very adventurous with food at all, so the answer for the last part is not often at all. Who would you NOT want to read the surveys you've posted on here? What would most likely happen if they did read it? Is there anyone you actually wish would read your survey answers but doesn't? Probably my therapist lmaoo. It'd spark some concern, especially regarding my PTSD, for him to be able to see "wow, she is deeply scarred." I don't really "wish" anyone else would read them, other than the occasional answer I wish He Who Shall Not Be Named could hear. Do you watch Glee? If so, which song do you want to hear on there that they have not yet done? If not, which TV show do you think has the best soundtrack? I don't watch it. The answer is obviously Supernatural, like good good shit right thar. Do you think you would be able to pull off a crime perfectly, without being caught? What about other lies? For example, cheating on your partner without getting caught? Would you be able to get away with it? Ha, hell no. I'm way too clumsy in more ways than physical and would overlook so many details. And I wouldn't WANT to get away with cheating on my partner, thanks. Do you know anyone who has divorced and remarried the same person? What do you/would you think of someone who does that? I don't think I do, and it's not really my business, but I'd have silent doubts, probably, depending on why they split. Do you say goodnight to anybody before you go to bed? If so, does it feel weird if you go to bed without saying it to them? I say goodnight to my snake Venus; even if she's in her hide, I say it when I walk past her terrarium. It probably wouldn't feel weird not to, but I want to, even though she can't even hear me lmao. How do you react when you're scared? Do you scream, jump, cover your eyes, etc.? I am VERY jumpy, tend to gasp easily, and sometimes scream if I'm seriously scared. Who is the best storyteller you know? What do you find best about their storytelling? Is there an interesting story of theirs you'd like to share? I don't know. Do you strongly dislike (or even hate) any bands or musical artists? If so, what caused such a strong negative emotion towards them? Not for purely their music, that's just stupid, but I could certainly dislike artists for what they do as people. For example, I haven't looked into it whatsoever, so it could be a load of bull, but I know Manson recently had some sexual misconduct or assault allegations rise against him, and honestly, I'd believe it. He's one of my favorite artists (emphasis on the "art"), but definitely not high on my list of favorite people and keeps doing things that are making me lose more and more respect for him. Then there's Otep... again, one of my favorite musical artists. I agree with a good handful of her values, but she is nevertheless an absolute holier-than-thou, intolerant bitch. I don't like her as a person. Do your parents have any collections? If so, what do you think of those collections? Dad collects Cleveland Browns and Carolina Hurricanes stuff; it's all over his "mancave." I don't have an opinion on them. Do you have a favourite role of Johnny Depp's? If you don't like him, what is your favourite role of an actor you like? I'm not familiar enough with all his acting roles for this, but I know he's incredibly good at what he does. If you were in a competition to win your dream prize, and you were allowed to decide what the competition would be (trivia about your favourite band, a foot race, singing, etc.) , what would you choose and why? Uhhhh maybe facts about meerkats? Reason being it's something I'm honestly very knowledgeable about. What is your least favourite thing about the English language? Are there any other languages you prefer besides English? It breaks its own "rules" ALL the time. If I was fluent in German, then I might actually prefer it. There are many parts to the German language that make it very precise and clear what and whom you are addressing (ex., there are two different "you"s for singular and plural usage); the only real downside I see to German is the sentence structure is odd, but then again, I mean, it does encourage active listening to get all the parts of a sentence you need to understand what is being said. Would you be upset if a long-term partner confessed that they had committed a serious crime before you met? How do you think it would affect your relationship? Hm. I guess it would depend on the crime? I sure wouldn't be happy hearing they committed an as you said serious crime, but I'd have to consider if there were other red flags for danger going on, again, if it wasn't massive in my eyes. Do you enjoy watching the special features found on most DVDs? What do you usually enjoy more: the deleted scenes, the bloopers, the audio commentary, or the behind-the-scenes footage? I have to be seriously into whatever I'm watching to explore these. I do love me some bloopers, though. Was there something you were afraid of as a child that just seems silly to you now? I had that usual "monster (or in my case, skeleton) in the closet" fear. Have you ever had a crush but then found out he’s gay? Almost positive my puppydog-love middle school bf actually is gay. I also had a crush on a closeted gay guy for a little bit that same school year. Nowadays he is so open about his sexuality and even does drag, and he's great at it! It's wonderful seeing how far he's come in his confidence. Would you ever be a porn star? What'd your name be? Oh no, hunny. Does blood make you squeamish? No. What's your favorite Pokemon? Ninetales. <3 I also have a very soft spot for Charmander, though. What was the last event to cause you any sort of heartache? My older sister got in a wreck yesterday because some impatient bitch ran a red light. She's fine but did break her clavicle and is going to be using a sling for probably a few months. It was definitely upsetting to hear about. What do you do when you like someone? I tend to get very shy around them, more than I naturally am, and smile a lot. I try to stay in contact with the person, and it's maybe a 60/40 chance I'll wait for them to make the move versus me, but I've done it. Do you mind if people just show up at your house unannounced? YEAH. Especially as someone who needs to mentally prepare for company, don't do this. Do you enjoy rain? To a degree. If it hangs around too long, it affects my depression. I LOVE going to sleep to rain pattering on the window, though. You love Jesus, yes? I don't believe he was a bad person; quite the opposite, actually, but I don't "love" him. I won't go too deep into why just because I'm not in the mood to offend people today lmao. Who’s your favorite person in the whole world? My mom. She's my rock. How many different beverages have you had in the last 24 hours? Just water and Mountain Lightning (a Mountain Dew ripoff for us poor folk, haha). Oh wait, I did have a meal replacement shake for lunch yesterday, I think? Or that might have been the day before... How many brothers does your father have? None, unless I've seriously forgotten him having one. He only has a sister, to my knowledge. What kind of camera do you use? I have a Canon EOS Rebel T6. If you could change you name, what would you change it to? I wouldn't. 25 years with a name I quite like has worked out fine. What was the last song you listened to in the car? Uhhh it was "Drugs" by Mother Mother, I think. Are you the youngest, oldest, middle, or only child? I'm the middle child between my parents. What's the best thing about the place you currently live? Hm. I would say for practicality's sake that we're very close to pretty much everything, but seeing as I enjoy long car rides... With that in mind, I'd say who our landlord is. She's a very close family friend who is very understanding of our financial position, so pretty forgiving with some things. Do you eat breakfast daily? Yessss, I need breakfast to start my day off. Can you hear anyone talking right now? No, just singing. I'm listening to Motionless In White's cover of "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers. What's your favorite flavor of ramen? I solely enjoy the spicy pork bowl by Yakisoba. I've never had another I've liked. I lived off that shit in the apartment. I guess what they say about college kids is true, haha. Never realized that. When was the last time you had a bowl of soup? What flavor? Back when I got my snake eyes tongue piercing, I tried vegetable soup only to find I didn't like it anymore. Do you have any tinned foods in your cupboard at the moment? Yeah, lots. I couldn't name 'em all, besides like, diced pineapple, corn, and beans. We always have those. What was the last food item that you tried for the first time? On Thanksgiving, I was actually brave with food for once and tried that sweet potato dish that's topped with marshmallow, and it was okay. I never liked sweet potato before, and while I couldn't eat a lot of it, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Does anyone in your family have green eyes? No. What was the name of your first ever pet? I was born into my family with a beautiful collie named Trigger, but I have zero recollection of her because she passed away from old age when I was very young. My first personal pet was either my guinea pig Squeak or Chinese water dragon Shadow (no, I have no idea why I named a green lizard that); I can't remember who came first. I adored them both. I feel so bad looking back though, I was so uninformed on how to properly care for a water dragon that she (or he, we were never sure) was, as far as correct husbandry goes, horribly taken care of and stunted from having a tank too small. I consider myself lucky she seemed to really trust me and loved being held, even sleeping on me, and she did live out her full lifespan. I was lucky; please, please, never adopt a reptile until you are properly educated on their unique care. Where was the last place you went out for lunch? What did you order? Mom bought me McDonald's a few days back because I was really craving it. I had a double cheeseburger and for once large fries, because that's what I was seriously wanting. I usually get small or medium. Where was the last place you went for an evening meal? What did you order? I feel bad and selfish for breaking my own "stay the fuck home but for emergencies" rule, but my mom, one of my sisters, and I went out to the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday. I think I ate a chicken sandwich with Chipotle sauce? I actually don't remember for sure. I do however remember the cheesecake I got: some cinnamon swirl one that was fucking glorious. Oh yeah, and we had an appetizer of these pretzel ball things dipped in fondue. I ate waaaay too much, but it was a special occasion, so whatever. Have you Googled anything today? What? I ensured I spelled "clavicle" correctly. Yaaaay, I did. What do you like to eat for breakfast these days? Special K cereal, a sandwich, sometimes those pancake & sausage on a stick things I mentioned at some point in the last survey I think, or a Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl. Maybe other stuff I'm just not thinking of. Is anyone in your family a nurse? No, but I have family in the medical field. Do you like to wear lipstick? What colors do you think suit you best? Not really, no, but I will sometimes for pictures. It smudges too easily yet is also hard and annoying to get off. I only really wear black. Who was the last person to recommend a book to you? My therapist recommended a book for the whole PHP group, but I can't remember what it was. Something self-care related. Who was the last person to tease or joke around with you, in a friendly way? I wouldn't be surprised if it was Tobey, the "family friend" I mention a lot. She probably said something technically rude that she thought was an appropriate joke. Is there a jar of peanut butter in your house? Yeah, always. Does anyone you know own a tabby cat? How about a cocker spaniel? Tabbies are very common, so yes. I don't think I know anyone with a pure cocker spaniel, but my late dog's mother was one. Do you have blinds or curtains in your bedroom? What colour are they? I have those slanted blinds that you can close by pushing them upwards or downwards with a stick thing. They're white. What was the last beverage you tried for the first time? Some form of juice I wasn't a fan of. Orange and peach, I think? Who was the last person that said you were beautiful? I think a friend on Facebook when I changed my profile picture. Is/are your pet(s) fixed? My cat is neutered, but obviously my ball python isn't. Roman would mark the house like crazy before we got him fixed... but even if he didn't, we still would have done it. Please make spaying/neutering your cats and dogs a financial investment priority. If you do the research, you would marvel over the "damage" especially one fertile cat can cause. Hell, my childhood experience with cats is enough proof of that.

[purplesurveys]

1106

survey by mickey-mouse

Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off of? I haven’t been feeling that way towards anyone, be it from real life or someone on the internet or a celebrity, for a while.

Do you drink the milk from the bowl after you eat all the cereal? I’ll try to drink some of it, since I do think milk tastes nice haha, but I keep it in moderation so that my stomach won’t end up being too upset.

Have you ever kissed anybody accidentally? Oh wow, how does this even happen? Hahaha but no I haven’t.

Who was the first person to wish you a Merry Christmas last year? Most likely a family member. My friends and I usually greet each other late into the evening.

Do you think it'll be the same person this year? It will probably be family again, yeah. I just can’t tell which one would be first.

Is your display picture in black and white? None of my profile photos on all social media are.

Do you know anybody who has had an online relationship? I don’t think so. I have some friends who met their SOs through dating apps, but I think all of them have since seen each other in person. I’m not sure I know of anyone whose relationship has been entirely online/virtual so far.

What food are you always in the mood for? No matter how full I am, I will always take a slice of pizza or two if it’s ever served at a table. That or chicken wings or spicy tuna salad.

When was the last time you played Guitar Hero? Safe to say more than a decade ago. I had always preferred Rock Band since I found it more fun that switching instruments was a main part of its gameplay, whereas you were stuck with the guitar on Guitar Hero.

What friend could buy clothes for you and not have to worry what they bought? Angela. We have nearly the same sense of style and we find the same things cute, so if I ever had to make a friend control my wardrobe for the day I will likely trust her the most.

1 thing that your guy best friend doesn't like about you: I don’t have a guy best friend. Hans is my closest friend of the opposite sex; while I don’t think he dislikes anything about me, I’m sure he thinks I’ve acted dumb about love and relationships many times before. Which is fine, we’re very honest and blunt about those things and I actually appreciate it when he gets brutally honest with me.

How about your girl best friend? Again, I don’t know if Angela doesn’t like a certain trait of mine but she’s well aware of my past stupid decisions i.e. staying in a harmful relationship.

Do you loan your friends money? No, but I’m ready to lend to my closest friends should they ever be in need.

Are Lucky Charms really magically delicious? I dunno, I’ve never tried.

When was the last time you had Lucky Charms anyway? See above.

Who is the last person you called long distance? I don’t do video calls with friends living in other countries, mainly because I’ve grown apart from them haha. My mom will sometimes start calls with relatives living abroad though; I believe the most recent one was a group video call with my dad’s side of the family, which included an uncle who lives in New York.

Do you sleep with a nightlight? No; I would find this too distracting and bright.

Is Lil Wayne really the best rapper alive? I never thought he was one of the best to begin with. Some of the songs he’s featured in are fine but I don’t like his slurred style of rapping very much.

What is the first text in your inbox? Like...the very first one in my inbox? I scrolled all the way down and it’s from Frances - an orgmate who has since disappeared off the face of the earth and blocked all her friends on social media lmao - asking about an org-related thing three years ago. Wherever she is, I hope she’s doing okay.

Are you taller than your siblings? I am the eldest yet smallest child in the family. My relatives get a kick out of it, which is fine because I do too HAHA

What are the first letters of your friends first names on your top 8? Myspace? Was never active on it.

When was the last time you almost cried from laughing? I can’t pinpoint an exact moment for you but this happens a lot when I watch 2 Days 1 Night, so this has probs happened recently.

Do you have “photoshoots” with your friends/family members? Not with me as the subject – I’m very camera shy and turn into an awkward stick once I’m asked to pose. But I love taking photos of loved ones, especially an SO.

Are you generous? To a fault.

Are you excited for Thanksgiving this year? I don’t celebrate that.

Are you excited for Thanksgiving ANY year? Yeah, I still don’t celebrate that.

Any plans for the weekend? I had plans to start a new series and spend a lazy day watching YouTube videos, but we haven’t had internet all day today and it’s felt quite deflating to have the first day of my weekend taken away from me. I’ve been running on data which is...fine, I guess, but I can’t use too much if I don’t want to keep paying for it. That said I’ve only been able to do surveys and stream music today. For tomorrow, I wanna go to a coffee shop and perhaps even treat myself to ramen because I’ve been craving.

Do you lay your clothes out the day before? Before Covid happened I planned out my clothes the night before, but I didn’t lay them out.

Who was the last person you bought a gift for? Andi; got them a dress and a skirt.

What was the last song you had stuck in your head? My Limb has been repeatedly playing in my head all day.

Are you ignoring anybody currently? Not ignoring, more of I’ve already given up on them.

Do you curse at your parents in a different language? I don’t curse at my parents in any language, lmfao.

Do you get the mailman a Christmas gift every year? We don’t have mailmen, buuuuut the maintenance staff in my village (trash collectors, security guards, those in charge of trimming the grass, etc) will usually hand each household an envelope in time for Christmas. My family and I help them out and place a certain amount in all envelopes.

Are you afraid of lizards? They are very common visitors in homes here so no I’m mostly not. They move very fast and get freaked out when they see humans though, so sometimes I’ll be shocked by them suddenly scurrying away.

How legible is your signature? I don’t make it legible at all so that it’s difficult to replicate. I actually get a lot of comments on it because my signature is mostly a lazy scribble and I don’t actually spell out any part of my name, which exactly fulfills my goal of making it hard to copy.

Do you think anybody else has a bedroom EXACTLY like yours? I actually live in a neighborhood where the houses are the same models, so I can confidently tell you that there are around 10-20 bedrooms that look similar to mine. But as for being styled and furnished exactly like mine, I doubt it.

How hot are your neighbors? Lol uh I don’t pay attention to this particular trait. All my neighbors are your typical suburban families with young kids, anyway.

Do you have pictures of clouds on your cell phone? A lot. I like looking up at the sky from time to time.

Do you send compliments through text message? Sure, when it’s appropriate and only with close friends.

Do/did your high school theme colors match? I never thought they didn’t go well together, that much I can say.

Do you own any Nike shoes? Several.

Have you ever rode in a VW Bug? Never.

How about a Mini Cooper? Never have, would absolutely love to.

What was the last fast food place you got food from? Yellow Cab. I got two pizzas and pasta for my family.

When you invite people to your house do you usually hang out in your room? I never invite people to my house because it’s too far compared to where most of my friends live, and it would only be a big hassle for everyone. As for my room, the only people who’ve been in it are Gabie and Angela/Hans, the latter only once.

Have you ever seen your crush/current bf/gf cry? I don’t have any of these.

Do you own any Spongebob merchandise? I’m pretty sure we have a Patrick plushie we continue to keep around.

Do you have any food traditions with any of your friends? My orgmates and I frequented a certain bar near our university; we went there whether it was to celebrate the end of an exam-filled week, or if we simply wanted to spend an ordinary Thursday with a few drinks. A few months ago they were in danger of closing because of the pandemic, but I hope life has been kinder to them recently.

Do you like Gwen Stefani? Erm, not particularly. Some songs of her I like, but I’m not a passionate fan.

Do you know anybody with a thick Jamaican accent? No.

Are you closer to your mom’s side of the family or your dad’s? Mom’s. Aside from being able to see them more often, our humor is also similar.

Have you ever been to a haunted house? I’ve stared at one, but never gone inside haha.

Yes or no: red eyeliner? Do whatever you want with your face and makeup, man.

Yes or no: red lipstick? ^ Still applies.

Would you ever own a pet black widow spider? No.

Do you wear holiday themed clothing? I don’t think I own any, so no.

At 6:00 tomorrow night where do you think you’ll be? On my way home, or preparing to head home, I hope.

Is it night or day right now? Evening.

What time did you get up today? Like 5:30. I fell asleep on the rooftop and got to see the pretty sunrise and the sky gradually change colors :)