#wish i had more energy to give more explanations | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jenscx · 4 months ago

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LUCID DREAM — ning yizhuo

it’s been years without ning yizhuo in your life. it feels surreal; the day you walked out without an explanation. but just the thought of being able to see her again, it draws you back into the endless loop of loving her.

TAGS — angst, exes to ???, insecurity, model!ning, ambiguous ending, mentions of alcohol, making up, jmj wedding (we don’t actually get to witness it tho)

WORDCOUNT — 7.4k

you stare at the wedding invitation, written neatly at the top, the invitation is addressed to a ning y/n. you want to cry. the invitation clearly stating your ex’s name makes your heart clench uncomfortably. it’s a blaring reminder that your relationship ended and you’re no longer living in your childhood fantasy.

“fuck,” you swear, “fuck you, kim minjeong.” you want to murder minjeong, but who were you to ask minjeong to stop reminding you of your bitter ending? especially since it was your own impulsiveness that had ended the relationship. you could have been more understanding towards yizhuo, could have tried her best to resolve your conflict, but no. instead, you ran. ran like the coward you were.

you remember the brokenhearted look on yizhuo’s face, the devastated glimmer in her eyes before she had flipped her expression to another, like a switch. or more like a broken one, your brain offers unhelpfully. of course, the quiver of her lips had given yizhuo away almost immediately. you had known yizhuo for a third of your life, obviously you could tell when your soulmate– or in this case, ex, was about to break down.

you wish you had stayed, and simply comforted your soulmate like old times, but you couldn’t bear to watch yizhuo cry, because of you. you remember the look on your friends’ faces when you told them that you broke up with yizhuo, all the words they had yelled at her for betraying yizhuo. you remember the anger directed at you by yizhuo’s parents when you had sent them an apology letter. through the post, yizhuo had told you, letters felt more sincere than emails.

but perhaps the worst reaction wasn’t from any of them, it was simply from your own cat. meowing viciously when you had picked him up, bringing him together with you. the scratches lining your arms only serve as a constant reminder. mao, your british short haired, was desperately attached to yizhuo (and she was the one who named him too. what absolute luck.) his hostility could only be reasoned that he knew his owner had hurt yizhuo. if a silly little cat knew the extent of the breakup, what could that mean for you?

“wallowing in your grief again? that’s not good for you,” you peer up at chaewon, the only friend that somehow wasn’t connected to yizhuo. chaewon takes a quick glance at the invitation and giggles, “you’re going? i hope you survive, you haven’t paid this month’s rent yet.”

you merely sigh.

“the place’s gonna be filled with people who hate my guts, you really think i’m going? minjeong probably only sent this to piss me off.”

chaewon frowns, “you don’t seem pissed off, just sad. honey, you have to let me know if they’re bothering you, like actually. it’s not your fault, well– maybe it is, but you’re suffering too. it isn’t nice for them to do this to you.” you shrug in response. you deserve it. you deserve every stab in your heart, you deserve the tears that escape in the middle of the night.

“let’s drink tonight, okay? we’ll put on titanic or something and cry about life while eating ice cream,” chaewon offers. maybe it’s the thought of getting drunk, or titanic, or crying in your friend’s arms, but the offer is appealing and you find yourself agreeing too soon.

you can hear chaewon do a silent cheer. it makes you smile slightly and gives you enough energy to pull yourself up from the floor.

“i’ll go get the soju, just lie on the couch and relax!” you follow as your friend says and lie on the sofa you had picked out together after mao’s claws had sunk into the leather, ripping it to shreds. the cat was a brat.

doesn’t this remind you of something– or someone? the voice in your head quips. you groan, why couldn’t your head shut up sometimes? your heart drops as you recall the conversation between your parents when you had told them you broke things off with yizhuo. you remember your mother’s expression; disappointed and upset, a stark contrast to when you had told her that you finally found someone. the proud look on your father’s when you introduced yizhuo to them, god, why the fuck was yizhuo such an amazing girlfriend?

you caused this. you want to scream ‘no’. you’re the one who dumped yizhuo. who are you to be upset over thi–

“y/n? hey, stop thinking about it,” chaewon pouts, “don’t make yourself even more sad!” you blink back into reality and at the sight of chaewon puffing her cheeks out, holding two bottles of soju and a large bowl of popcorn, make you want to coo at the girl. you push the thoughts of yizhuo to the back of your head as soon as the opening to titanic appears on the screen.

you two laugh sometimes, mostly chaewon, but it’s quiet throughout the movie and you can’t tell whether you’d rather have chaewon’s comments about how cute the actors are or the silence that allows you to delve deeper into your thoughts. you take a sip whenever chaewon mentions how in love jack and rose are.

when you blink, it’s already at the part where jack allows rose to get onto the wooden door, while he stays in the freezing water. chaewon throws popcorn at the tv, apparently already drunk, screaming at rose to quote, “fucking move her ass,” for jack to get on. you take a large gulp of soju in the midst of chaewon’s sniffles.

“y/n…i can’t believe it… she just let jack die!” chaewon cries out, “the love of her life, she just let him go! how could she just let him die?!” you nod, trying to drink the already empty bottle of soju.

when you stand up, the whole room swirls and you stumble back onto the couch. “don’t let her go, y/n!” you jump at the close proximity of chaewon’s voice, “don’t let the love of your life go!”

you hum in agreement and scream, “i won’t let her go!” determined, you pick up your phone and the selfie of you and yizhuo greets her. you miss her, don’t you? of course not. you don’t miss her at all. change your homescreen then. you wouldn’t.

you roll your eyes and enter kakaotalk.

y/n [11.38pm]:

i kiss you

i miss you*

read [11.39pm]

“i did it, chaewon!” you exclaim, “i didn’t let her go!”

drunk you is apparently an idiot, since we all know, if a ‘i love you’ can’t solve a crack, obviously a ‘i miss you’ wouldn’t be able to solve an earthquake.

i miss you too. i miss you so much it hurts. but how could you say that, when you’re the one that left me first? yizhuo doesn’t cry as much anymore. she doesn’t sob into her pillow in the middle of the night anymore. the couple posts that appear on her instagram feed doesn’t make tears well up in her eyes anymore.

it still hurts. hurts as much as it did before. and yizhuo might just have to live with that pain everyday. the misspelt word makes her heart throb, in affection and pain, because she could imagine your voice in her head. are you hurting as much as she is? it doesn’t make the stabbing pain in her chest any better to know that the one she loves is suffering.

yizhuo stares at the glaring light from her phone. i miss you. really y/n? she wants to scoff. you were probably drunk out of your mind and sent that text on a whim. or maybe it was meant for another girl. the thought makes yizhuo want to cry.

is there someone else you call ‘baby' now?

fuck, you think, oh fuck. the read blaring on your phone, as if mocking you.

“shit,” chaewon groans, holding her head, “what happened last night? did we accidentally kill someone?” you wish you did. you take a deep breath, and scream. if the neighbours show up the next moment, it’s totally because of the night before, and not your scream at 8 in the morning.

you calm down. eventually. you calm down after chaewon grabs your shoulders and wiggles you back and forth, yelling for you to get your shit together. it only worsens the raging headache the both of you have. if rent wasn’t so high nowadays, you would have immediately fled and lived alone. kim chaewon with a hangover was not a good sight.

“whatever! you drunk texted your ex! whatever! hashtag yolo right— ah fuck, the room is spinning,” chaewon shrieks, “ugh, why did we drink so much?! but! your life isn’t over! so what if you texted her? it’s okay, we stay delusional and pretend things never happened!”

despite the wacky talk chaewon gives, it actually helps. texting yizhuo, while drunk, was a mistake. you nod hastily, “i get what you’re saying, but please let me go.”

chaewon loosens her grip, pursed lips as she huffs, “the most badass thing you can do now is go to the wedding.”

your eyes widen, “what the hell? kim chaewon, are you crazy? no, you’re insane.”

your roommate only grins lazily, “it came with a plus one invite, right? i’ll go with you. it’ll be okay! and don’t you wanna see your friends again?”

“i do, but most of them hate my guts,” you wince, recalling the angry messages left by aeri and minjeong, none from jimin, that probably speaks for itself what she thought of you, “they were yizhuo’s friends first, and mine second. when it comes to things like this, they would, rightfully so, take yizhuo’s side.”

chaewon whistles, “yeah it’s not looking too good for you right now.”

you flop onto the couch, sighing, “if i see yizhuo, i’ll freeze up and make a fool of myself.” your hands fly to rub at your eyes, groaning miserably, “i guess i’m not over her.”

chaewon slides into the space next to you, scoffing, “you think? having her number saved and pinned is crazy and the last time we talked before this, you were in love with her. what happened?”

your heart constricts painfully. you never spoke about your breakup to anyone, only asking chaewon if she still needed someone to split rent with. the moment you had uttered those words, you had left the shared apartment with yizhuo, not turning back to watch the love of your life collapse.

“i…” your throat dries up, “i was in love with her, i guess i still am. i don’t doubt that she felt the same for me, but maybe not anymore. our relationship was the best thing to ever happen to me. the happiest years of my life were when i was with yizhuo. she made me feel alive.”

tears prick at your eyes involuntarily. chaewon’s gaze is full of pity and comfort. sympathy. no one else gave you that.

“she wanted to get married, chaewon,” you whisper, “she was ready for marriage. i wasn’t.”

“oh.”

“i saw her looking at engagement rings one day and god, it was like, how have i never noticed before? she always shows me videos of weddings and how she would want her wedding to be like, but i never stopped to think whether i wanted marriage. i didn’t know what i would say if yizhuo just proposed. would it have hurt less for her if i said no rather than breaking up with her?”

chaewon presses a comforting hand to your shoulder, sighing, “i’m sorry, i literally see two of you right now but i’ll try to articulate this as best as i can.” her words draw out a hollow laugh from you. “you just weren’t ready yet, and yeah, you should have communicated that to her before jumping in to break up, but have you ever thought that you weren’t ready because you didn’t love her enough?”

you swallow, tears flowing down your cheeks freely, “n-no, i love her. she’s my favourite person. i love her so much, too much even. but getting married? that’s a lifelong commitment. i just didn’t know if she was sure that she really wanted to spend the rest of her life with… me. she has her whole life figured out. she’s a rich model who could have anyone else. we were childhood friends first, before girlfriends. and now she’s certain that she wants to marry me? what if there’s someone better for her out there? she’s only been chained to me because we got together so young. i just… had to let her go.”

“commitment issues,” chaewon states, “you have severe commitment issues.”

“i guess so,” you let out a watery laugh. your roommate chuckles, “you want her back?”

“yeah, i’m desperate.”

“let’s go to the wedding.”

you send a small smile to chaewon, “thanks, roomie.”

“i saw the invite by the way, and damn, are your friends rich? don’t get me wrong, i’m going as your moral support but the free buffet too—”

“i’m literally going to strangle you.”

yizhuo twirls the pen in her hand, watching it glide across her fingers and abruptly landing on the wooden table with a thud. she couldn’t stand seeing all the wedding preparations and chose to hide in jimin’s study. the door creaks open, a figure stands by the doorway.

“hello jimin unnie, aren’t you meant to be looking over the finishing touches of your wedding?” yizhuo asks, her smile dimming as she thinks about marriage. jimin frowns, “minjeong’s doing that. she told me to come check up on you.”

“me?”

“i know how you feel about weddings. we all do,” jimin says bluntly. yizhuo’s lips fall into a thin line. of course her friends were aware. they helped pick out the ring for god’s sake. the weight of a velvet box lying in her bedside table haunts her dreams.

yizhuo stands up from her desk, inching closer to jimin, a faux smile on her face, “you don’t have to worry about me. it’s your special day after all.”

“not yet, but let me worry about my friend for a while more before i get married,” jimin mutters, “minjeong sent an invite to y/n.” yizhuo’s whole body tenses up. a blurry image of you appears in her brain. she immediately shuts that down.

biting the inside of her cheek, yizhuo turns away from jimin with folded arms, “and? did she say she was coming?”

yizhuo hears jimin’s hesitance.

“just say it.”

jimin clears her throat, “she’s coming with a plus one.”

a distant thought forms. a plus one. your new girlfriend? did you find someone else? were you coming to the wedding to flaunt your new lover? yizhuo wasn’t dumb, she knew that her friends disliked you, heavily. minjeong most definitely sent out that invitation with disgust. jimin told her what minjeong had said to you. aeri had barely brushed it off, saying you weren’t worth her time scolding, despite the chain of messages she sent. she knew that you were aware they hated you. why would you come to the wedding?

“i-i’m not sure what’s their relationship, but her name is kim chaewon and oh my god, minjeong’s gonna kill me, y/n requested for a shared hotel room,” jimin utters out nervously. yizhuo’s eyes turn into slits. a shared hotel room?

“i see,” yizhuo says indifferently, contrasting the feelings bubbling inside her, “that’s good to know.”

jimin places a hand on yizhuo’s shoulder, “hey, it could all mean nothing, i don’t want you to get hurt again.”

“does it matter when i’m already like this?” yizhuo retorts back.

“i hope you don’t do anything stupid. before everything, you’re still my friend. if y/n showing up makes you uncomfortable, i’ll tell her she’s not invited,” jimin says softly, “minjeong will understand. you come first.”

“it’s your wedding, jimin. i won’t be a burden to you guys. it’s your day,” yizhuo mirrors jimin’s frown.

jimin’s shoulders slack.

“it’s not about that,” the older girl retorts, exasperated.

“what is it about then?”

“i don’t think minjeong will stay neutral and be calm when she sees y/n,” jimin groans, “she’ll probably pick a fight with her and i don’t want my wife to be stressed and angry on her wedding day.”

yizhuo can’t help teasing jimin, “wife, huh?”

jimin smirks, “yes, wife. you know last week, minjeong called me—”

“oh kay! i think you should go!” yizhuo yells, saving herself from the details of her friends’ intimate lives. jimin cackles maniacally as she leaves the study. yizhuo sighs and leans her head against the wooden door. jimin’s footsteps can be heard as she walks downstairs, along with the voices of her friends. they’re all scattered and anxious, she hears the distant shouting of minjeong and aeri. despite the noise around her, yizhuo feels somewhat at peace. for now. she doesn’t know what she’s going to do the moment you come to the wedding.

because despite what everyone else says, yizhuo cannot move on. you were literally half of her life and more. when you had uttered those words of devastation, it was like the world had ended. a terrible nightmare that tortured yizhuo every single day. was she too overbearing? sometimes— well, last time, you had mentioned that she was a very affectionate and clingy girlfriend. was that the sole reason? yizhuo frowns. no, that couldn’t be. you were equally as physically needy as her.

maybe you had found someone new? the plus one that was coming? that didn’t seem plausible either. if you were cheating, yizhuo would most definitely know and you abhorred cheaters anyway.

as she wrecked her mind for reasons, a common past time she developed after you had left, the constant rewinding of the conversation had been engraved in her brain eternally.

(yizhuo had just gotten off work, a smile on her face as she entered the house, heels clacking against the floor. the thought of you waiting at home impatiently for her only brought her smile to widen. maybe you would run up to her and embrace her warmly, complaining about how long she took. yet, neither of those happened and she’s left staring at you, hunched over, at the dining table, a suitcase packed by your side.

“what are you doing?” she had asked curiously. were you going on a trip? begrudgingly, you had gotten up, a sombre look on your face as you whispered, “yizhuo…”

that ticked yizhuo off. you never called her yizhuo. it was always baby, honey, sweetheart. but never yizhuo. it sounded so foreign and cold coming from your lips.

“what’s wrong? is everything okay?” she asked.

your face contorts into one of utter desperation and heartbreak, “i think we should break up.”

yizhuo’s mind had gone blank. she had never anticipated hearing those words from you. break up? that wasn’t in her future with you. her heart clenched uncomfortably against her ribcage and her throat constricted, to the point she couldn’t mutter a single word.

taking advantage of her silence, you run your fingers through your hair, the hair that yizhuo would so lovingly comb through every night as she whispered words of devotion into your ear, “i want to break up.”

“no.” is the only thing yizhuo can say. wide-eyed and stupefied, “no.”

you look as stunned as she is, yet the stark difference between the two of you, are the tears that threaten to tip over at every passing second in your eyes.

“yizhuo,” you pleaded, “i’m sorry. i can’t.”

“why are you doing this?” she croaked out, demanding an answer. the weight of the velvet box in her purse felt like it was dragging her down to the darkest pits of hell. she couldn’t imagine something like this ever happening. you were meant to be her happily ever after.

“i—”

yizhuo couldn’t stand it anymore. “tell me why you want to break up!” she yelled, the confusion and fatigue of her body overwhelming everything.

“i… please… don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“you don’t love me anymore? you found someone else?” yizhuo accused. of course, none of these were the true reasons. you couldn’t even look at yizhuo in the eye before murmuring an apology again and grasping the suitcase in your hand.

“i love you,” you had whispered at the door, “i’m sorry.”

yizhuo doesn’t even respond. pure shock overtaking her as she watched you leave. the moment the door had closed, sobs took over yizhuo as she collapsed on the floor, heartbroken and devastated at losing the love of her life.

if you truly loved her, you wouldn’t have left so easily.)

that statement plagues yizhuo’s mind for the next few years. it replays in her head repeatedly, like a broken mantra. she knows that it’s unhealthy; to be thinking of you every night before she succumbs to a dreamless sleep. yet, sometimes, yizhuo prays that she might be dreaming, and when she wakes up, you would be right by her side. jimin thinks she should get a therapist. but yizhuo doesn’t want to get over you. she fears that you might just become a hazy memory, lost in anger and grief. she doesn’t want that to happen. because despite everything, the pain you have caused her, she still loves you.

it’s strange, the way love works. yizhuo hates you for doing this to her; ruining her for anyone else because if they even bore a similar trait to you, she would just break down. like the blind date aeri had set her up on long ago. fresh out of the breakup, and with extreme bribery and convincing, yizhuo had met shen xiaoting, one of aeri’s friends, over dinner. aeri had said that maybe yizhuo needed someone closer to her culture, and with the homesickness she felt constantly, the lack of comforting words that you provided, yizhuo agreed.

that date was the whole reason aeri stopped asking yizhuo to go on blind dates, for when xiaoting had mentioned that she liked cats, yizhuo had started bawling, the memory of you playing with your own pet cursing her mind.

it was embarrassing to say the least, and even more embarrassing to explain to xiaoting that it wasn’t her fault. the poor girl had thought yizhuo had something against cats. aeri apologised endlessly as yizhuo cried, with an awkward xiaoting patting her shoulder. at least they became friends.

maybe, with the support of her friends, yizhuo would be able to stand the sight of you at the wedding. it would be totally fine! and if she sees you with someone new, maybe, just maybe, it would give her the motivation to finally get over you.

honestly, screw everything. you literally hate chaewon right now. thankfully, jimin and minjeong had provided a one night stay at the hotel. your apartment (and mao) was being taken care of by sakura, one of chaewon’s friends. there was apparently a party before the actual day. you assumed they would just want a shared bachelorette party. however, your self-proclaimed wingman was cozying up to one of the guests. by her straight posture and gentle expression, she was probably nakamura kazuha from high school. yizhuo was friends with her, you remember.

you couldn’t believe that all those words of encouragement had flown out the window the moment chaewon locked eyes with the ‘love of her life’. you roll your eyes, already annoyed with your friend. somehow, you still hadn’t spotted yizhuo amongst the crowd.

most of them, you didn’t recognise. some, from high school and college. the rest, probably family members. maybe some faces stood out, like shin ryujin from history class or jang wonyoung, the valedictorian. but mostly, unrecognisable. from the various mops of hair in the crowd, you spot uchinaga aeri’s infamous smirk. you wonder where the rest of the group are.

you sigh, taking a lonely sip of the champagne they provided. at least it was good.

chaewon’s obnoxious laughter fills the area. it’s loud and irritating, or maybe you’re just easily annoyed right now. kazuha just stares at her, all confused. it’s a little funny.

“y/n.” a steely voice rings out from the crowd. you whip your head, heart racing at the familiar but dreadful tone.

“oh,” you whisper, horror-stricken. you weren’t prepared to meet them now!

the older girl merely stares at you, before you bow your head hesitantly, “congratulations on your marriage.”

jimin visibly loosened up, her eyes twinkling and shining with adoration, “thank you.” perhaps out of all of yizhuo’s friends, jimin was the one who hated you the least. she didn’t bother scolding you or cursing you out, only choosing to glare at you.

“i think we should talk,” she finally says after a moment of silence. you wholeheartedly agree with her. if you were meant to see yizhuo tomorrow, you definitely needed another friend that wasn’t chaewon.

she brings you out of the function room, the starry night sky being the only company outside. jimin takes a long gulp of her champagne.

“why’d you really break up with yizhuo?”

the patiently and dedicated stitches of a sewed wound are ripped apart, directly exposing your bleeding heart and emotions. everything comes falling apart the moment she asks. you can only stare at her.

“i… i made a mistake,” you shake your head, “i wasn’t ready.”

jimin, patient as always, hums, urging you to continue.

“she wanted to get married. i didn’t,” you say, with grief and regret lacing your every word, because everything would be fine if you had just talked to yizhuo.

“we helped her pick out the ring,” jimin adds. you only feel more guilty.

“i can’t give her the life she wants, unnie,” the endearing term of intimacy slips out, a cry filled with desperation, “she deserves the world and i can’t give her that.”

“you were her world. it’s that simple. she only ever wanted you.”

hurt gnaws at your heart, it’s palpitating with raw stabs that echo of your heartbreak.

“i don’t deserve her,” you sigh, “i had to let her go. i couldn’t bear to see the look on her face if i refused her engagement.”

jimin nods, “i understand your fear. but i hate the fact that this could have been solved with an explanation.”

you groan, anger coursing through your veins. you were so upset and narrow-minded at the time. the only solution was to seemingly break up with yizhuo. it would spare her the everlasting pain from a rejection of her proposal.

“i know, i just couldn’t at that time.”

the older girl tries to smile. it’s akin to one of those encouraging ones she would give right before an exam or test. it sparks a shiver of nostalgia.

“jagiya, where are you— oh.”

jimin quickly straightens up, swiftly turning around to face minjeong with a grin, “hey, mindoong.”

you tense up, your fingers wrapping around the glass tightly.

“glad you could make it,” minjeong’s eyes flicker up and down your body, venom evident in her tone as she hisses, “y/n.”

nodding, you reply, “thank you for inviting me.”

the tension is overbearing; with minjeong’s glares, jimin’s beaming smile and your awkward shuffling, you couldn’t wait to retreat to the comfort of your hotel room.

“where’s your girlfriend?” minjeong suddenly asks. you stare at her, confused, “my what?”

jimin’s eyes widen as she hastily pulls minjeong aside, frantically whispering in her ear. but like the past, jimin has never been a good whisperer. you catch phrases like ‘she might not be her girlfriend’ and ‘what if yizhuo hears?’. a looming sensation brews in your stomach.

“kim chaewon? is that her name?” minjeong asks harshly, “didn’t take you to like korean girls, i thought you liked chinese girls instead.”

you’re visibly taken aback. what was minjeong saying? chaewon? your girlfriend? since when was chaewon your girlfriend?

“uh,” despite your fear of minjeong yelling at you, your words come out firmly, “chaewon isn't my girlfriend.”

minjeong falters slightly before scoffing, “yeah right. you don’t have to lie now. we all know that you left yizhuo for some other girl.”

your heart stops. what?

what was she saying?

leaving yizhuo for another girl?

“i— i would never… that’s—”

“minjeong unnie, that’s enough.”

you’ve thought of this moment forever. every single day after the break up. you’ve thought of running back into her arms, apologising endlessly for even thinking of breaking up with her. you’ve thought of how she would accept you graciously with murmurs of comfort, because that was just how she was. a gracious and generous girl who deserved the world. you’ve thought of her bright smile and gleaming eyes.

you’ve never thought of her staring at you, a dull and saddened look on her face.

“ning—”

“minjeong unnie,” she pleads, “please.”

the watery gaze must have swayed minjeong over. you would know, having fallen prey to her puppy eyes before. yizhuo slides the door open, watching intently as minjeong and jimin leave.

“good luck,” jimin whispers just before she steps away. you think you need all the luck in the world right now.

yizhuo lets out a heavy sigh once the door slides closed. she gazes at you for a second. you’re taken back to your younger days, where every day was spent just staring at yizhuo. you had proclaimed confidently that yizhuo was the most gorgeous girl on earth. you aren’t wrong. the years you spent apart from her had done her generously. it had only been two, yet, yizhuo looked more mature and sure of herself.

“did you really find someone new?” she whispers, shattering the glass of ignorance. you swallow, shaking your head, “no.”

yizhuo thinks back to the drunken message you had sent.

“was that on purpose? that text you sent,” she asks, eyes wide and afraid of your answer.

you shake your head again, “i was drunk. i’m sorry.”

“i hate you, you know that right?” yizhuo says. before, you had imagined the piercing stab of pain that came with those words. you had thought it would be the end of your life, with the girl you loved the most saying she hated you.

it’s understandable now, and inevitable.

“i know,” you whisper.

yizhuo continues to stare at you. somehow, this all feels like a fever dream, one that she’ll wake up from soon. it feels unreal to have you in front of her again.

she takes in the sight of you, memorising every detail for if you leave again.

“why’d you come then?”

there are many reasons that you can say, with varying degrees of truthfulness; to congratulate jimin and minjeong, to see your friends again, to just visit your hometown.

“i wanted to see you.” it’s the truthest thing you’ve ever said.

“you can’t,” yizhuo inhales sharply, “yo-you can’t just show up like this.”

“i know, i’m sorry.”

your head hangs lowly.

“tell me the real reason why you left.”

you had expected this.

she would want closure.

your throat constricts uncomfortably.

“i… yizhuo…”

“tell me.” it feels similar to your past.

yizhuo looks as beautiful as ever. she’s the only thing you can think of right now. her lips are moving, yet you don’t hear a single thing.

“i didn’t want marriage.”

oh.

the girl’s eyebrows furrow. her eyes turning into slits of anger as she takes in a deep breath. you know she’s about to start tearing up. maybe you should quickly explain yourself.

it’s your only chance.

“i saw you looking at engagement rings and i knew i wouldn’t be ready if you got down on one knee. you’re a model, for god’s sake. you had a prospering career, being tied down to someone like me wouldn’t bring you any benefits,” you finally say. it’s not the full reason why, but you hope yizhuo would understand even a semblance of your choice.

“i know that it’s a shitty excuse. i know that i’m a coward. but what else was i meant to do?”

yizhuo huffs.

“talked to me. you could have talked to me.”

you resist the urge to roll your eyes.

“would that stop me from breaking your heart?”

the love of your life stands before you. yet, it seems like the only words of devotion you’ll exchange is how devoted she is to hating you. yizhuo crosses her arms, frowning, “yes. i’d much rather have a minute of heartbreak than years of it. you’re such a prick.”

“yizhuo—”

“no, you don’t get to do this,” she points a finger at your chest, prodding the area where your head resides ferociously, “you can’t just come back, explain yourself with an extremely stupid reason, and expect that i would be okay with it. you sent me a drunk text, saying you missed me. how come i don’t feel anything?”

“i love you, yizhuo. i just did what i thought was right in that moment—”

the only thing you can hear is your heart shattering into pieces at the sight of tears falling down her face. yizhuo sniffles, her voice becoming shrill as she adds on, “you’re an asshole. you think you’re the only one in this relationship? you didn’t even explain yourself properly. you think you’re making the right choices for us? for me?”

you continue to stare at her blankly.

the next words come out like a gunshot, “then you don’t know me at all.”

it snaps onto your skin, leaving a scathing burn and engraving ning yizhuo’s name into your body. your insides coil up painfully. hearing yizhuo’s cries as you left years ago had been torturous, but nothing beats her breaking down in front of you right this instant. you’re overcome with a striking urge to pull her into your arms and whisper words of affection into her ears, promising her to never leave. the pet name leaves your mouth quicker than you can think.

“baby—”

a sharp stinging sensation sears in your right cheek. you can feel the affected area heating up, scorching hot and red. yizhuo’s handprint is evident, singed in your skin.

an onslaught of tears rises, but you’re determined to not let them fall.

“okay,” you whisper, unable to say anything else to the equally stunned yizhuo, “i’ll leave. i’m sorry.”

the girl just stands outside in the cold, her eyes bloodshot and cheeks rosy from the wind. before you go, the slight shiver that runs through her body makes you hesitate. the comfort of your jacket feels like a heavy burden now.

maybe you would get slapped again. but at least yizhuo wouldn’t be cold.

gently taking it off, you encase yizhuo in your jacket, biting your cheek (which still hurts!) to resist a smile at how it covers her small figure. she gazes at you like a deer caught in headlights. you sigh and try to move your legs, but they feel like jelly. with much difficulty, you finally make it to the door, using the frame to stabilise your wobbly walking.

when you turn back, yizhuo isn’t staring at you, but she’s staring at the night sky, more specifically, the moon. you take one last look at her. the weight on your shoulders is gone now. and all that is left is a longing feeling to have yizhuo back in your arms again. but maybe, you could live with that.

sliding the door open, you go back into the function room. the crowd had dispersed, leaving just a few people chatting around. you spot jimin and minjeong talking while drinking. aeri’s at the bar, engaged in a conversation with a waitress. chaewon, god bless her, is relatively nearby, while kazuha is nowhere to be found.

“chaewon,” you breathe out, relieved. she turns to you, startled, “oh damn, what happened to your face? you look a little…”

“i know,” you laugh dryly, “i think it’s time for us to leave and go to sleep now.”

chaewon doesn’t argue and instead nods, her eyes drawn to the reddening mark across your cheek. even in the dark light, she could still notice the imprints of someone’s fingers.

“she slapped you?” she asks while you head towards the elevator.

“yeah,” you scratch the back of your neck, “we kind of… argued.”

chaewon laughs heartily at your misfortune. you’re glad at least this brings someone joy. maybe minjeong too. she would love to see you in pain.

“i think you should get some rest buddy,” she pats your back. you nod, feeling as if sleep was just an arm’s reach away.

the conversation with yizhuo had drained you significantly, both mentally and physically. and maybe you should put some ointment on the red area too. you might wake up with a bruise or something tomorrow.

the urge to flop into bed is too strong as chaewon slides the keycard into the slot. the door opens, revealing a luxurious hotel suite with a king-sized bed. you remember requesting for a shared room. it was to mainly prevent yourself from doing anything reckless when drunk. you’d have chaewon to keep you grounded.

“did you get kazuha’s number?” you ask as chaewon throws her face cleanser at you. the girl giggles, “yeah. she’s so cute.”

you subtly cringe at the lovestruck look in her eyes.

groaning, you head into the bathroom. your eyes widen as you prod at your cheek, shocked that yizhuo landed such a heavy hit. damn, has she been going to the gym lately? the yizhuo back then barely had any strength to resist your tickles. there wasn’t any surging hot anger left from yizhuo slapping you, just a dull and yearning hope for her. maybe you should calm yourself down by taking a cold shower.

after dowsing yourself with water, you padded out of the bathroom, only to discover that chaewon wasn’t hunched over her luggage anymore.

you check your phone.

chaewon [10.27pm]:

zuha texted me, staying w her for the night

there’s ointment on the bedside table

for ur stupid face

bye :p

wow. chaewon had managed to do that within a day. staying at a girl’s hotel room? you whistle lowly. maybe she was onto something. but with her departure, the hotel room feels too quiet now. only the breezing and fluttering sounds of the airconditioning accompanying your thoughts of self-loathing. collapsing onto the bed, you reach out for the ointment.

just as you unscrew the cap, the doorbell rings. you don’t recall ever ordering room service. maybe it was chaewon and she forgot something?

you turn the door knob, not bothering to check who it was.

“chaewon—”

ning yizhuo stands before you, glassy eyes and a look of desperation that you’re familiar with.

“oh.”

she shuffles awkwardly, gesturing at your cheek, “are—is it okay? does it hurt?”

gulping, you shake your head.

“can we talk?” she asks, in the quietest voice ever, her words coming out shaky and breathless.

you open the door wider.

yizhuo mutters a soft, “thank you,” as she enters the room. you quickly send a text to chaewon telling her not to come back.

“did you put any cream on it?” she asks.

“no, not yet. i was just about to,” you reply quietly. the tension from the heated argument from before had disapparented, only leaving a strained relationship behind.

“can you sit down?”

you follow her instructions dutifully, sitting right at the edge of the bed. yizhuo lifts the ointment up, squeezing a bit on her finger before gently rubbing it into your cheek. it hurts, but the softness of her touch heals the area.

wincing as she applies more pressure, you can only stare at the girl.

“i’m sorry,” she whispers.

“it’s okay.”

you want to pull her into your arms.

you want her to lean onto you.

you want the feeling of her skin against yours.

“i was really hurt.”

“i know.”

yizhuo sighs, her hands dropping.

“i can’t believe you left me so easily.”

your chest tightens at the devastated tone in her voice. it wasn’t easy, you want to say. but it doesn’t feel right to defend yourself now.

“i thought it was the right thing to do.”

yizhuo lifts her head up, “why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to get married?”

“i don’t know,” it comes out in a hushed murmur, “i didn’t want to tie you down. you had a lot more things to accomplish.”

“i’d rather have you and nothing than losing you and having everything.”

the confession goes unsaid. because you’re her everything.

“i’m sorry. you just had your whole life in front of you and i was in the back. i… i didn’t fit into your life.”

the girl takes everything in. you were just so afraid then. scared that once you said yes to her proposal, yizhuo might realise that you weren’t the one for her. you’d rather be away from her, than be with her and make her unhappy. you didn’t want to live a miserable life where you hated each other.

“you don’t get to make that choice for me.”

“i know, yizhuo.”

yizhuo’s eyes are brimming with tears. her raven hair covering her face partially, but you can feel the pain radiating off her.

“you know that i would have been happy just being with you?”

“i know.”

“god, you still left like it was the easiest decision of your life.”

no it wasn’t, you again want to protest.

“you know that even in another life, i would choose to just have you by my side, even if i lose everything else? don’t you understand the extent of my love for you?”

it’s so surreal— the way yizhuo is practically begging for you to realise that leaving her was the worst possible choice for you to make.

“i love you too much.”

“then why’d you leave?” she asks.

through tears, you shakily breathe out, “because i love you too much.”

the lack of past tense doesn’t bother you, nor does it bother yizhuo. it’s a given that you’re still madly in love with the girl, and vice versa. it only leaves the question of what will happen now. yizhuo doesn’t say much afterwards. it’s the truth. you love her too much that you couldn’t bear to see her suffer because of you.

“i was so ready to marry you, i bought a ring,” yizhuo mutters, shedding tears. her sniffles aren’t concealed by the low humming of the air conditioning. it feels too real.

“forgive me, please,” you say.

“i can’t.”

the hotel room goes quiet.

“that’s okay,” it’s hard to say. you want to protest against everything, beg yizhuo to take you back and you could live your happily ever after with her.

it doesn’t happen. you don’t fall to your knees and plead.

you only stare at yizhuo in a mix of fear and longing affection. it pains you to see her so broken, and it only drives the knife further into your heart to know you’re the reason why.

“i’m so tired, y/n.”

you nod, feeling the fatigue seep in.

“me too.”

“can i sleep here tonight?” yizhuo asks softly.

you nod. there were still things to talk about, but you think you’ve done a decent job so far. pulling the covers over your bodies as yizhuo slides into the bed, you relish in the warmth and comfort of having her beside you again.

she turns her head to look at you, uncertainty filling her voice, “let’s talk more in the morning. i’m tired now.”

you agree with her wholeheartedly, inching closer to fit against her back.

as yizhuo’s eyelids flutter shut, you caress her skin tenderly. your index finger writes against her back, strokes lining her skin.

我爱你.

i love you. it’s one of the many phrases you’ve picked up throughout the years of being with the girl. she only taught you silly words and swears, but yizhuo had insisted you learn how to say and write those very words.

it’s fitting, because it’s all you ever feel for her.

because of yizhuo, you’ve had the opportunity to experience having a soulmate for almost your whole life. because of yizhuo, there’s no lingering doubt of being unlovable. because of yizhuo, you get to spend your days filled with happiness.

because of yizhuo, you understand what love is.

you just hope she understands you too.

#aespa x fem reader #aespa x reader #ning yizhuo x reader #yizhuo x reader #ningning x reader #aespa #ningning #ning yizhuo

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austinsastrology8991 · 1 year ago

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> Ascendant Aspects < How you Appear to be, and how your treated based off your appearances > why you look like a clown without makeup

Ascendant aspecting Sun - I like your smile. Did you put it on for me, or for yourself? yes your charismatic, yes we noticed why your so confident, yes your literally the greatest person do you really need us to shower you in affection all the fkn time? your extra but too many toppings ruin a good pizza. your the embodiment of the cheesy smile from that cat in alice in wonderland. main character energy for sure you get the attention and you know how to use it Ascendant Aspecting moon - 🌚 < dont they look like that.? idk but you guys look like someone you want to grab the cheeks of and treat like a baby, your like a sugar glider. but we know your emotional so we have to be careful with how we grab your cheeks 👀 please stop crying its just a joke > also; big ass eyes. you are so sweet that everyone just wants to take you home and feed you till you become so obese you cant leave Ascendant Aspecting Mercury - the most devilish and cheeky smile all at once. they look like a kid about to do something bad, or have just been caught doing something bad and are now trying to explain why they had to do that dumbassery. but no matter how much you explain yourself, we will still question you because its funny watching you come up with explanations. you give me the vibe of any character from cartoon network or nickledoen - timmy turner, southpark, phineas and ferb, ed edd and eddy, or fkn bart simpson, you act like a cartoon yes.

Ascendant Aspecting Venus - I dont normally do this but whats ur number? is what your used to hearing presumably. and its not necessarily because your attractive... okay you are, you can stop pouting now. but its because you know how to get attention and you clearly love getting it. but they act so superficial, and oblivious sometimes... like they purposrfully look away just so its easier for you to look at them, 💀 then they look back playfully and it gets you in the feels. remind me of doctor who's bitches (any of them) they all act the same idc what you say

Ascendant Aspecting Mars - so pissed off lol but its hot. they are fierce > if they want something they are going to get it, and even the mere consideration of negotiating what they want will just get them more mad. which makes them more attractive? idk people love their ferocity, and as much as people say they don't like aggressive types, they don't ever get in their way when they pissed off (ik because im hot head) your basically a hornet > and no one gonna fight a hornet without the proper precautions Ascendant aspecting Jupiter - Yall are excellent at impressions and being impressionable, idk how you do it so well. You just act normal but then pull off this funny shit and return back to normal like its nothing. you guys perfected just being, and this energy makes people want to be around you. Your like a firework, the explosion is awesome, but when it goes away your like damn that was awesome wish it stayed; but thats what makes it so good, because we never know when its coming, and when its gone we want it back lol Ascendant Aspecting Saturn - batman without the mask sucks. thats you. batman without the mask.... why so serious???? > "because life shouldnt be taking for granted and fuckery aint apart of my Repertoire" - is some whack ass shit yall would say. you have great dignity, but people get insecure around you because your on top of your shit. oh and you tell people to get on top of their shit all the fkn time lol. > your like a crow, you look like one and act like one. - Side note- one time i had a stand off with a crow: I was chilling at home and i was on top of these tile blocks, then this crow came along. I tried to scare him, by like staunching him just a bit. but he responded by gripping the tree branch he was perched on, by twisting his claw foot; and he did it with so much ferocity it made this bone cracking noise (from the strength of his grip gripping the tree) and suddenly i was intimated.... by a fkn crow. okay moving on

Ascendant Aspecting Uranus - how did you even become like that. no one really understands why you act the way you do, you do some really eccentric things which are eye grabbing but also disturbing the more you think about it. your like a sword fish. theres probably more effective ways to kill fish, but i mean a sword works, we are just wondering how you attached a sword to your face. also try to calm down, you doing so much and acting so bizarre that im actually more worried about you, even though im laughing my ass off. Ascendant Aspecting Neptune - your like a mirror of all that i ever could want in a person, and this mysterious allure you so easily pull off is truly enchanting. its like being around you makes it feel as if reality can so easily be readjusted into what i would like it to be. but this quality of urs is addicting, and no wonder people project onto you. but you cant even blame them, you literally shapeshift into whatever you want, and typically you like to show it off. your like a chameleon. or a axolotl Ascendant Aspecting Pluto - you scare people easily lol. your a spider. but spiders are sexy.... look at the BUNDA. okay but those teeth yeesh, have you ever seen a spider like lick its lips, bro its fkn scary. theres a reason arachnophobia is the most popular phobia and its because spiders are fucked. and yall are fucked. you move like a spider, and i swear to god you smile like one too lol. but people low key wanna be eaten by a spider..... so go ahead choose yo prey you fkn creepy crawler

#astrology #astrology blog #astro community #astrology notes #astrology observations #astrology placements #ascendant aspects #astrology aspects #astro observations

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farfaras · 2 years ago

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First part to this prompt I posted the other day. This is gonna be eventual steddie (sorry, stonathan) and I’m really excited. Title from the song ‘nonsense’ by Sabrina Carpenter.

I think I got an ex but I forgot him

Part 1. (You’re here)

Part 2.

If he heard the words: Robin and in love, in the same sentence, with the melodious voice of one Dustin Henderson, one more time. Steve was sure he was gonna lose it.

Listen, he understands where he’s coming from. The kid just wants him to be happy. But he is! Dustin just doesn’t seem to get that. Happiness doesn’t only come in the form of a relationship. His teenage brain can’t comprehend that fact just yet. He wishes he did though, because he’s absolutely insufferable about getting Steve and Robin together.

No excuse or explanation he gives is good enough. Dustin still insists that he needs to try, that this is his chance at true love. Robin is kind of the love of his life, sure, but the platonic love of his life. His best friend, his soulmate, sister from another mister. All that jazz. Dustin doesn’t buy it though.

And Steve’s tried everything! He even told Dustin about that time in starcourt when they were high off his asses. Told him that he confessed his crush to Robin but that she rejected him, and that they were best friends now and nothing else. He obviously left out the part where Robin came out to him. He’s never gonna reveal Robin’s secret to anyone. The only answer he got was that “It doesn’t even matter now! Things could’ve changed! You never know.” Steve knew. He knew that he would never be into his best friend like that, and she would never be into him. Apparently they were the only ones who knew that.

Because of all the fuss Dustin was constantly making, other people started giving their input. Thanks Dustin. They didn’t get it either, didn’t believe they were just Platonic with a capital P. They made sure they knew it too, the whole party, Nancy, Jonathan, Eddie. Not Argyle, he said that the energy between Steve and Robin was intense but completely friendly, almost like they were twins. Steve liked Argyle. Of course he had to be miles away.

Most of their friends dropped the subject after the second time Steve or Robin explained the nature of their relationship. Even if they weren’t convinced, they didn’t push. Except for one person. Yep. Dustin.

Who was currently harassing Steve at his job. He didn’t know what else to tell him. If family video wasn’t empty he would just ignore him to do his job but there was nothing to do. He couldn’t even sweep or anything because everything was already done.

“Okay well! There must be a good reason why you guys haven’t gotten together!” Dustin exclaimed. He is so fucking stubborn.

“I already told you, Henderson. We’re. Just. Friends.” He knew it wasn’t gonna do anything. It was just a routine at this point.

Dustin’s expression changed to determination. “Nuh uh. There’s a reason there. And I’m gonna find out!” Shit. Could Dustin figure out Robin? He doesn’t think so. But he’s starting to panic. What if he finds out? Robin doesn’t deserve that. He’d feel like it was his fault, and everything would go to shit.

“Okay! Okay! There is a reason.”

“I knew it! You have to tell me.” Dustin demanded. Well, Steve hasn’t thought that much ahead. He needs to come up with something and he needs to do it fast if Dustin is gonna believe it.

“Look, I haven’t told anyone this before.” Building suspense, nice.

Then, an idea popped into his head and it seemed like the perfect response to all of this. Or maybe it’s the only thing he could think of in such short notice. “I’m gay.” He blurts out. It made sense in his head, really. Robin doesn’t get outed, but she can still look at the reaction she might get when she comes out. (It doesn’t hold any kind of truth at all. Not one Steve can see right now at least.)

Dustin is just staring at him. “What? I don’t, you’re not, since when?”

“Since I was born?” It sounds like a question. Steve didn’t prepare for follow up questions to the reply he literally just crafted.

“There’s no way you’re gay.” At least he didn’t seem disgusted or upset? Is this a good or bad reaction?

“Are you not okay with it?” Steve dared to ask.

“What?! Of course I’m okay with it, I’m just. I don’t care, but you don’t really seem gay. It’s hard to believe.” At least he’s okay with it. He’s still being stubborn.

“Way to stereotype, Henderson.”

Dustin sputters. “Wha- can you even blame me? Who could believe you?”

The next words that came out of Steve’s mouth didn’t actually ask for permission to be said. “My boyfriend can believe it.” He said it so matter of fact that he surprised himself a little. The way he usually took the route of action before thinking was gonna bite him in the ass some day. Would that be today?

“Boyfriend?!! And you didn’t tell me? You don’t have a boyfriend!” He accused Steve. “Who is it?”

Oh. Shoot. Quick, brain. Who could be his boyfriend? Someone his age, that was single, and could be believed to be in a gay relationship.

“It’s Jonathan.” Why did he say that? He just broke up with Nancy, that would just seem like a messy situation. Also is he literally just doing what he scolded Dustin for and stereotyping?

“But he just broke up with Nancy.” Hmm. Did Dustin read his mind or something.

“It’s new. That’s why I haven’t told anyone.”

“Not even Robin?” Oh, crap. Is he gonna have to tell this to people? Well, he should probably tell Jonathan first that he is apparently in a relationship with him now.

“Not even Robin.” Dustin beamed at this.

“You know, even if you and Jonathan are kind of a weird sounding couple, and this is surprising… if you’re happy then I’m happy for you, Steve.” That was weirdly sweet of Dustin.

“Thanks, bud.”

After that and renting a movie, Dustin was on his way. He gave Steve a hug goodbye and hopped on his bike to go home.

Steve had a lot of things to get done now. And he hoped that the first one went well because he didn’t really have a plan B if it didn’t. What had he gotten himself into?

First things first. Asking Jonathan to be his fake boyfriend.

At least for a while.

What could go wrong?

Step 1. Get Jonathan to be his fake boyfriend.

Step 2. Probably get Robin in on it?

He’s not sure about that one. This situation was kind of embarrassing, he’d rather just share his embarrassment with the one person who is absolutely necessary. Also Robin doesn’t seem like the type to lie to their friends. Even if it was harmless.

Step 2. Probably get Robin in on it?

Step 2. Make a game plan.

They’d probably need to talk about how this was gonna go. Get all their facts straight in case there were any questions, which there were going to be. Plan how long this was gonna be for. He was getting a bit ahead of himself, but there was no plan B.

Step 3. Hope it’s believable.

He was already outside of the Hopper-Byers home. This shouldn’t be hard, Jonathan is a pretty understanding guy. He wouldn’t judge Steve, or make fun of him. At least that’s what Steve hoped. They’ve been developing a friendship for a while. Which has been going surprisingly well. Fuck. Was this gonna mess it up?

He got out of his car and walked to the door, knocking. El answered the door, she gave him a smile and let him in.

“Is Jonathan home?” Him asking for Jonathan wasn’t a rare occurrence nowadays, so El just nodded and pointed to his room.

He knocked to make his presence known. “Hey, Jon?” He opened the door and stepped inside the room.

“Hiya. What’s up, Harrington?” Jonathan grinned at Steve. Ah. Shit. He didn’t look completely sober. Must’ve smoked something earlier.

“Well, I wanted to talk to you. I’d rather wait until you sober up though.” Jonathan just gave him a thumbs up.

“Happy to have company.” Steve knew Jonathan was having trouble dealing with the break up. They had been together for a while and he thought that those two were gonna beat all the odds and marry each other or something. Maybe they still could find their way back to each other someday. Right now though, it probably sucked.

Nancy was off to college, Jonathan stayed here in Hawkins doing community college. There was no way of knowing how Nancy was taking it, she barely called and when she did it was kinda cut and dry. Although Steve supposed that was a way of telling she wasn’t doing so good either.

They hung out, doing nothing in particular. Just talking, listening to music and Steve sobering him up.

“Did you say you wanted to talk about something?” Jon asked. He looked sober now. Or as sober as his perpetual stoner face could look.

“Yeah… I kinda did something stupid.”

“Don’t we all.” Cute. Was he trying to make him feel better? It would’ve worked if what he did wasn’t as stupid as it was.

“No, seriously. I think this is the dumbest thing I have done.” Understatement.

“It can’t be that bad.” Jon’s words weren’t aligned with his face because it looked like he was starting to worry.

“It has something to do with you too.” With those words, Steve definitely made Jonathan start to worry. “Hear me out first!”

Retelling the events from earlier was excruciating. Steve has never felt this embarrassed before. It sounded so dumb saying it out loud.

“You really couldn’t come up with anything else? Like oh I don’t know. Saying you don’t like Robin like that?” It was like he wasn’t even listening.

“I tried that thousands of times! He wouldn’t buy it!”

“Why haven’t you just dated anyone else? To prove that you’re not hung up on her?” Interesting line of questioning. Honestly, it’s been a long time since someone has made him feel anything at all. No girl caught his attention like before. Has the upside down messed him up so bad that he can’t form romantic connections anymore?

“I just, I don’t really. Taking a break from dating sounded good to me.”

“Uh huh. Sure.” Jon didn’t believe him, whatever.

“Look I just panicked, spoke without thinking.”

“You know, I actually thought that Dustin was right about you and Robin before. But if you’re so determined to prove you’re not, to even come up with something like that.” Steve hated this. Was Jonathan getting a kick out of this?

“Are you amused? I’m kinda suffering here.” Steve lamented. “Can you just please help me?

“Oh god, what do you expect me to do? Pretend to date you to get Dustin off your back?” Yes. Please.

“Look! I only ask for a few weeks! It doesn’t have to be for long. Just, a few weeks of fake dating and then just say it didn’t work out and we decided to stay friends. All that cheesy stuff.” God, he was not being convincing at all.

Jonathan still looked skeptical. But at least he was considering it now. “I’ll owe you, big time. Whatever favor you want.” Steve offered.

Jon looked resigned now. He huffed out a breath. “I never thought my first boyfriend was gonna be Steve Harrington.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I always pictured a nerd or maybe a stoner.” He was confused now. Was Jonathan? “Yes, Steve. You should probably know if we’re gonna do this. I also like guys. And I’m assuming you’re okay with it, considering what you just asked.”

“Of course! Thanks for telling me. I’m glad you could trust me.” He was being genuine. Even if Steve was a little surprised, and now felt even more guilty about words he used in the past to insult Jonathan. All the past apologies seemed insufficient. Even so, he was happy that their friendship could develop into this.

“So? How is this gonna work? You really owe me now, you know.”

“Trust me, I know.”

So their friendship wasn’t ruined. Who knows? Maybe this could make it stronger.

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flamingpudding · 1 year ago

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Ghost Hunting Vigilantes #2

Ties to: Ouija Board Prompt and Ghost Hunting Vigilantes

A/N: The electric gun thing was inspired by Elton from TFIL Overnight. They used it in one of their videos I just don't remember which and what they called it. Also thanks to @cyber-geist for sparking this follow up idea.

Danny was pressed flat against the wall and floating close to the ceiling. His hands still covering his mouth. What the actual fuck? How prepared was this teen? Sam had made him watch a lot of ghost hunting videos online but none of these 'hunters' appeared and held themselves like Red Robin.

Ancients, he wouldn't be surprised if they also had some Fenton Tools now.

Danny watched how Red Robin was frowning at the screen, the camera was still pointed at him. Once more the Ghost King looked down at himself, feeling for the familiar hum of his powers. He definitely knew he was still invisible.

"It's all a little blurry but I think the SLS Camera is picking something up…" The Teen muttered and Danny watched how the girls wandered over to look at the screen too.

"That's just a bundle of yellow lines. Doesn't even remotely look like a stick figure." Spoiler commented and Danny really wished he could let out a sigh of relief. So the camera was not picking him up. That was good to know.

"That is strange. When I tested it before the background image was still clearly visible but it looks like everything is blurry and static like." Red Robin muttered and Danny couldn't help but suck in a breath when the teen looked up directly at him.

The Ghost King knew they couldn't see him but right now this feels like the teen could. Danny let out the breath he sucked in once the teen turned to the vigilante in blue.

"Hey Nightwing. Could you spark some electricity?"

"What?"

"Your escrima sticks." The teen deadpanned. "Use them and spark some electricity into the air to charge the molecules."

"Why the fuck should he do that?"

"The interference I am getting on the camera is probably because the ghost used up most of its energy with the little music stunt it pulled. So to recharge and offer them some energy to keep communicating with us, we will release some electricity into the air. This will also prevent the ghost from attempting to drain any of our batteries or in the worst case our own energy or stamina if you want to say it like that."

What? Danny blinked. Okay he was the Ghost King, yes he had learned from his tutors that there are some ghosts that feed on electricity but most of them had an electric core and as far as Danny knew he was not sucking up battery power or life energy, not a power he had developed…. yet? He probably should ask his former rogue Technus if he knew anything about what Red Robin just said.

While Danny contemplated this the other vigilantes were staring at Red Robin and his explanation and the teen sighed. "Look if you don't want to use them, under the table to your left is a case with a modified stun gun that will do the same."

"We are not giving this Pit Demon power!" Robin declared as he moved to sit in front of the case blocking Nightwing as well as anyone else potential access to it.

Nightwing only shrugged and took out his weapons letting them spark to live.

There was a very hearable sharp intake of air and suddenly the rooms temperature dropped. The vigilantes watched how a sheen of ice spread around the walls and ice flowers started to bloom on the windows and glass like surface.

"What the fuck?!" Red Hood yelled, dropping the controller he was holding and pulling out his guns.

"We didn't invite Mr. Freeze, did we?" Spoiler asked no one in particular, rubbing her arms for warmth. Orphan was taking on a fighting position with her eyes surveying the room. Robin had sprung up on his feed, katana out and ready to fight once more, even Nightwings whose escrima sticks were still crackling with electricity assumed a fighting position.

The only one who appeared unconcerned was Red Robin, his eyes were still glued onto the screen that was still blurry and static like at times. "Hmm they weren't drawing energy front he camera... but now we know that the ghost has temperature changing abilities. I wonder… if I use the integrated heat-vision of our masks...."

"RR not the time to get stuck in your head!"

Danny couldn't breath as he pressed himself further into the ceiling. Green glowing eyes focused on the visible electricity sparking and humming from the blue ones weapons. His entire focus was on that and he hated it.

He had fucking trauma with a capital T. His friends knew that. His siblings knew that. His parents knew that. His former rogues knew that. Ancients. Even Dan had admitted it once to him that he had a similar problem with electricity!

Everything in him screamed to get away from that electric hum, he barely remembered to keep his invisibility up as he sought out the point farest away from what he probably presumed were tasers sticks. He hated how his core trembled and he wanted to do nothing more than fly as far away as he could.

"HEY GHOST FUCKER! STOP TRYING TO MAKE US POPSICLES!"

Green eyes snapped away from the crackling electricity and Danny could only stare at Red Hood who clearly didn't know where Danny was but still yelled profanities at every wall of the room not once moving from his spot though.

"Like yelling at the ghost will work. Anyone happen to have a blow torch on hand?"

"<tt> I told you it's a Pit Demon and now because of Red Robins stupidly we might end up frozen."

"Look how was supposed to know that the Ghost would use the electricity to change the Temperature this drastically? I knew they could change the temperature slightly but not like this!"

"Nightwing stop fucking sparking electricity already!"

"Oh right." The electric hum stopped and Danny felt himself relax slightly. "How do we get out of this? Think we could get B on the coms to bring us something?"

"Isn't he with the Justice League, right now?"

"<tt> You are all too relaxed for this."

"Oh, do you have a better idea than Demon Brat?"

Blinking Danny realized he had frozen over the entire room and that the ice had traveled up to the knees of the vigilantes. Nervously he rubbed at the back of his neck as he let his powers run and told the ice to withdraw from the vigilantes.

-Sorry, I am not got with electricity like that.- The Ghost King apologised in ghost speech sheepishly as soon as that spirit box was no longer covered in ice and his own trauma infused panic had settled down. It was probably better not to let them hear his voice right now.

Red Robin instantly turned his attention back to the SLS Camera Screen only to find it shut down. The cold had messed with something in it, making it blue screen and shut down. The vigilante narrowed his eyes, had the ghost maybe done this on purpose like Robin had said?

"Okay fucking noted. No sparking electricity if we don't want to be popsicles." Red Hood grumbled clearly not happy with what happened as he dramatically stomped with his boots like he was testing if he could feel all his toes.

"Did you die getting electrocuted? That was a pretty strong reaction." Nightwing couldn't help but ask. A little worry as well as curiosity layering his voice.

"Wait didn't Mr. Ghost say last time that asking about how he died is rude?"

"We are not pissing of that fucker any more than we already have." Red Hood decided, crossing his arms, guns still in his hands, while the EMF Meter lay forgotten by his feet.

"This Pit Demon is clearly tricking us. This was an attempt to get rid of us."

"Stop saying that! We still don't even know if it's a Pit Demon in the first place!"

Danny felt a presence appear next to him as he continued watching the vigilantes argue, a little amused as well as still apologetic because of the ice. Carefully he side eyed the presence hoping for all there was that it wasn't who he felt it was only to gulp. Next to him was Lady Gotham and she was once again holding the ghost club in her hands. A new kind of panic settled in the Ghost King's stomach, he slowly started to understand why Clockwork had such respect for this spirit.

"Oh look at the time. It has gotten late. Gotta go! BYE!"

Okay he panicked and once again forgot about ghost speech when he opened the portal home right next to him to escape her first swing but in his defense: That spirit had a mean swing that rivaled all the females of his family when they had the Creep Stick at hand and were pissed.

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phyrestartr · 3 months ago

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Rhubarb | Zagreus x M!Reader (WIP!!)

#SFW, reader is a daimon, ik nymphs can't be male but let me have this!!!, reader tends to persephone's decayed garden, hurt/comfort, lots of fluff, COURTING!!!!!

“You wouldn't happen to be the one gifting me all these flowers, would you?” Zagreus asked.

You cleared your throat as you scrambled for an excuse, a reason, an explanation to give the godling–it didn't feel right to outwardly admit to it (Gods, that'd be embarrassing), and you couldn't find it in you to turn the prince away; if you did that, what would be the point of your bashful little gifts? You wanted to show support, you wanted to try and embolden him when few else would.

But still–

You tucked some hair behind your pointed ear and cleared your throat once more, never ripping your gaze away from the flowerbeds to look at your opponent. Nope. You wouldn't do it. You couldn't or you'd die on the spot (again).

“I beg pardon?” You asked, willing your earth magicks to replace that which had withered in the garden.

You swore you heard him smile. “Those flowers, the ones in my chambers? The ones that renew every night, or–or day, or what have you.” His cindered footsteps ventured closer to you. “Surely you must have some idea.”

“I'm afraid I don't, Prince,” you hummed, stepping away as he followed. “But I can keep an eye open, if you so wish.”

“Oh, come on. Do you really think you'll be punished for giving me a flower or two?” Zagreus asked.

“Everything can be punished in this house. Anything in regards to the runaway prince, even more so.” And that was true. You'd heard of Megaera and Thanatos being promptly admonished for their inability to stop Zagreus, or their blatant refusal to even try to stop him. Most didn't give Zagreus the time of day. What would you, a mere shade, say in your defense if the lord of the underworld found out about the simple fondness you felt for the prince?

Before you could linger on that dread for too long, a hand caught your wrist, stopping your further retreat. It wasn't painful, nor did it frighten you–but it was odd. So, so odd. You'd not felt the warmth of another for decades. It reminded you of a warm summer's day.

“Look, I–I just want to thank you,” Zagreus said, sounding far too flustered and honest. You couldn't help but turn to him and meet his mismatched gaze, finally.

“Thank me?” You said, dumbstruck. A little because of the brilliant emerald and ruby eyes staring down at you, a little because of his words.

The prince nodded. He didn't release your wrist. “Is that so unbelievable?” He asked with a smile.

“Not when it comes to you, no.” Your face heated, but you kept your composure calm and collected. “Well. You're, uh, free to speak. If you wish.”

“Thank you,” he said, not hesitating the slightest bit, “For taking the time to…well, think of me, I suppose. These days, it feels like everyone's against me, so the flowers, they--they're a welcome sight.”

His smile melted your faux frigid expression, and you let the slightest hint of gentility peek through. “I worried they'd be a nuisance.”

“A nuisance?” Zagreus balked. “No, no, anything but. It's what keeps me going most days, if I'm being honest.”

You raised your brows, despite a smile not following. “Well, that's depressing. To think few others are cheering you on brings a tear to the eye.”

The prince snorted. “Huh. Never knew gardeners could be the sarcastic type.”

“Seems you haven't met enough gardeners, then.” You clasped your hand over the one holding your wrist. “Truthfully, I don't understand the extent of your quest, but I've no doubt you'll succeed. I wish you to know that I've full faith in you.”

Zagreus’ energy surged tenfold. His smile nearly blinded you, he who had become so used to the dark, and his eyes gleamed like polished gems. Cerberus probably bore the same look when he was a pup, you figured. Did he play tug with the prince back in the day? Probably. Or fetch, perhaps.

“Really?” The prince asked, now holding both of your hands in his and squeezing. “You think so?”

You swallowed away your shock at being touched again and stared hard at the spot between the prince's eyes. “Well, yes--you're like rhubarb.”

He leaned toward you, leaning down and welcoming himself into your personal bubble. “I've not the slightest idea what you mean, but I'm eager to know.”

You almost smiled. Almost. But you wouldn't let him win, not that easily.

“Once you accomplish your goal, perhaps I'll tell you.”

#male reader insert #male reader #zagreus x reader #zag x reader #zagreus hades x reader #zagreus hades game x you #hades game reader insert #hades game x reader

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fanartlover1234 · 4 months ago

Text

JUST FRIENDS part two

Hook and Y/n settle in their realationship, pf course Morgie watches over them

Made by a request in my dm

I was wondering if u could do a part 2 for that?Like where morgie hears some strange noises almost every night and one day he decides to ask his sister off she heard about it and she says no so he looks suspicious when she says no and why they're hockey's on her neck and chest. Then in the middle if the night, morgie comes and sees his sister because there are strange noises coming from her room and sees hook and his together. He gets livid and yells at them. The next morning they go and apologize to morgie and he gives the overprotective talk to hook and tells his sister to stay safe and when hook suddenly says to late for that morgie chases hook around the school (make that part funny)

Now a month has passed and Y/n and Hook are dating, ofcouse they dont go full PDA because Hook is now traumatized after the girls brother had punched him across the face.

But in secret, its a different energy, if you know what i mean and this is where our story begins.

"Y/n are you okey" the girls looked at her brother confused as to why he would ask her, of course she was okey, she wasnt failing in classes and was with the boy she loved.

"Of course, why?" She asked her brother.

"I dont know, i've just been hearing these weird noises cominh for your room" he said as his gaze was on some students going in and out of the school.

Y/n almost choked on her drink at her brothers explanation and she looked at hook who was leaning against the wall smirk plastered on his face.

"I dont know what you might've heard, but im fine" this caused Morgie to finaly look at het and he notoced the the few purple bruses goung from her collar bone and to her shoulder.

"Oh my, are you okey" he asked pointing at the bruises"

"Yeah, i slipped in the shower, probs what you heard as well" and with that the convo ended and she was sure she had never been more relieved.

》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《

Hook layed on Y/n as she trew her head back when he rolled his hips into her, she moaned but her mouth was covered by her boyfriends hand who now looked at her with somewhat mocking smile.

"Shh baby, we dont want your brother to hear, do we?" He asked and pushed his member deeper in her and enjoying the view in front of him.

Both their heads snaped to the door when they opened to reveal a livid Morgie at them.

"What the fuck guys, what the fuck dude you are fucking my, eww" he said storming out after he trew one of the stuffed animals on the girls shelf at them.

They both laughed at him a bith before kissing.

》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《

" i think we should say sorry to my brother" the girl mumbled the next morning as she layed on her boyfriends bare chest.

"You think, everytime im talking with him about our relationship i get attacked" he said as watched Y/n while she srarched for her clothes.

"Quit being dramatic, nothing will happen" she said looking for a peace of clothing everywhere.

Hooks cough caught her attention and now he was sitting up right his back against her headboard as he waved her panties at her.

Y/n walked over snatching them from him and pulling them on.

Y/n felt her boyfriends hands around her waist as he pressed his face against her back.

"Get dressed and lets go" she said.

"I though you prefered me naked" he mumbled and the girl could feel the smirk on her boyfriends face as she chuckled and shook her head.

》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《

"Morgie we are sorry you walked in on us" Y/n said as she looked at her brother.

"Fine, But Hook" he said at her sisters boyfriend and got up pointing a finger at him " you hurt her and you will wish i would have knocked you dead month ago" he said and hook lifted both his arms up defense in a way he means no harm.

"Relax, Morg, id never hurt her" he said.

"And Y/n " Morgie now turned to his sister " be careful and dont let him do you know what"

"A bit too late for that" Hook mumbled before he realised what he said he was faced with Morgie who was looking like he could eat Hook without salt and unboiled.

And soon Hook was being chased around by morgie in the courtyard.

'Morgie dude sorry" Hook yelled out as he jumped over some bags but Morgie only kept chasing them and once they ran into school Y/n ran after them.

"You fucked my sister"

"Im sorry"

"Morgie i want my boyfriend alive"

"Ill kill you Hook"

Hook ran around table before stoping.

The scene was a bit weird.

Both boys on either side of table and Y/n her arms streched out to prevent her brother from harming her boyfriend.

"Both of you stop" she said "come here" she took both their hands and made them stand next to eachother.

Hook looked like he was scared to even breath while Morgie looked like he was about to strangle Hook.

"Both of you need to get along" the girl said now crossimg her arms " got it?" She asked but both boys only stood there quietly "well" she yelled and both boths let out a quick 'yeah' sound.

"Good, now i have a class bye" she said and walked to her class.

Both boys waved her before Hook leaned forward in pain because Morgie elbowed him in the stomach.

Morgie leaned on Hooks shoulder to whisper in his ear.

"Dont hurt her, buddy"

#joshua colley x reader #descendants chloe #descendants james hook #descendants red #descendants #d

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alwaysonf1 · 1 year ago

Text

are they flirting?

Pairing: Charles LeClerc x Hamilton!OC

Genre: Slice of Life; Fluff

Word Count: 2.4k

Warning: Mild Language.

Rating: PG-13

Author's Note: And this my loves, is the end of 'A Week.' Forever is within reach.

Charles’ every thought is filled with things regarding the way Iman dances. The schedule meant that there were two games that would happen while they were filming. Everyone was given the choice to go or not to go, but all of them jumped at the chance to experience the energy of the first night.

And despite how even now Charles wants to deny it, he’s more than just fascinated by this part of college life that he never would have gotten to experience. No, most of his interest lies with the girl with the bright smile dancing along to the band’s rendition of New Edition’s “Can You Stand the Rain.” Every move is made with a fluidness and grace that most only attribute to ballet.

As it winds down, and the girls take their seats he finds himself wishing for a repeat of the same performance. Maybe then he could look at all of them and not just stare at Iman the entire time.

Movement to his left draws his attention and breaks him out of embarrassing himself if Iman caught him looking at her for so long. He sees Lewis embracing someone and he assumes it’s a friend of Iman’s mom, but when they pull away, he’s met with the smiley face of Logan Sargeant.

The young Williams’ driver is chatting it up with Lewis as if they’re best friends. All while Charles can’t remember a time, he’s ever seen them interact. He’s not even sure he’s ever seen them look at each other.

It’s confusing and as if sensing his gaze, they both turn to look at him. Lewis wears a smirk and Logan’s smile is just as bright as when Charles first looked their way.

“Hey, Charles.”

“Hello.”

The silence following that greeting is loud, even in a loud stadium. As seconds tick by Logan’s expression morphs into confusion and then Charles watches as he looks to Lewis and the lightbulb clicks on.

“Oh! Sorry for crashing. I had some time to fly out here and I like to visit Iman when I can. Lewis said it would be fine for me to come since this is the last day of filming.”

That answers so little, but it does give Charles an opening.

“You know her?” he asks.

The smile returns. “Yeah, we’ve known each other since we were kids. Met at some of the competitions here.”

His explanation makes sense. Iman seems to have been somewhat involved with her brother and mother’s line of work all her life, even if it was in a more covert way. That meant she probably crossed paths with many drivers, even him, without any of them knowing who she was or her relation to Lewis. But Logan seems to know.

“Hold on. Have you always known about her? Them?”

Lewis laughs and Logan joins in. The other drivers walk over, their attention drawn away from the game that restarted. Most seem as confused as Charles was, but they greet the American driver warmly, nonetheless.

“He didn’t know until they were like eleven or twelve. They were already friends and she wanted me to meet him. We trusted him to keep the secret and he hasn’t let it slip even a little bit. In fact, he was on my side about not doing this at first, but hey, you know how siblings are, they get their way.”

“Really? You both lost against her?” Alex asks, amused.

“I rarely win against her. She knows how to divide and conquer, so she made some good points and so I helped her convince Lewis.”

“Giving yourself a lot of credit there with that help, huh Sargeant?” Lewis jokes.

Logan nudges him and laughs. “She’s the one who tells it like that. We both know I was there to just nod.”

This comradery is shocking. Charles feels like he’s in an alternate universe as he sees them talk and laugh together. He turns to look at his teammate and sees the confusion he knows is on his face too. Somehow, he’d managed to just accept that Logan of all people has known, but this dynamic change between the drivers is the real stunner.

It takes a bit, but he zones back into the conversation between the two.

“Like that time, she called my dad an ass and some things I’m just not comfortable repeating,” Logan says.

“Is he still scared of her?”

“Yup. He said something dumb, that’s on him.”

That subject is one Charles is interested in, but a throat clear draws his attention to Daniel.

“Any particular reason you didn’t want to?” Daniel asks.

“She’s my baby sister, I always want to protect her from how things can get. Ya know?”

A chorus of agreement sounds because everyone gets it.

Charles definitely knows. What he often deals with in the industry and with the media was the same, but also different from what Lewis got hit with. Sometimes he wanted to keep his family far away from the spotlight, but he left the choices in their hands and did what he could to limit some of the stuff that people would write and say about them for clicks.

The arena erupts in cheers, forcing the groups’ attention on the field. Southern’s team is leading by far and they’ve made another touchdown. The joy of the players can be seen by the way they celebrate in the end zone and Charles is reminded of how much he likes the camaraderie in sports. It’s there, but not as strong in motorsport. An expected outcome when even your teammate is a rival for a win.

For the rest of the game, they’re focused on the football part of it. It’s a good game and though the team is running away with the win it has its tense and exciting moments. When it ends, they allow everyone else to make their way out, post celebration, and then head to the tunnel that Iman told them to meet her. She’s already there near the exit with her bag and changed into her outfit for dinner. The green dress she’s wearing compliments her brown skin and fits her perfectly.

As they reach the last few feet Logan moves to take the lead. He jogs to her, and Iman drops her bag to hug him tight. There’s an uncomfortable churn in Charles’ stomach.

“Hey, Lo. Didn’t know you were coming,” Iman says.

“I had time and Lewis said it would be fine. Plus, it’s your last season. Have to see my big sister perform as much as I can.”

Logan removes himself from the hug and puts some distance between them as he says it. From the way Iman’s eyes narrow Charles can tell it’s a wise decision.

“It’s less than a year difference, you dork.”

“Still a difference.”

“Wait, how old are you?” Lance asks.

“Uh…”

“She’s twenty-three,” Lewis says.

Daniel coughs. “Twenty-three?”

“You don’t remember your age?” Charles asks.

Iman gasps and lightly slaps his arm, which makes him laugh. “It’s a fresh twenty-three. And there are too many numbers in my head to keep track. And to answer the question I know is there, I took a little over a year for a gap. It involved working as a mechanic and traveling. If I wasn’t in GA or deep within the Mercedes or Williams areas, you would have run into me at almost every grand prix.”

A weird feeling fills Charles. He doesn’t like that they could have met sooner and didn’t. He gets why, but for some reason he wishes he’d gotten the chance. Though if he's honest the reason isn’t that mysterious to him, he’s just pushing it out of his head. He can’t linger on it for too long or he’ll do something stupid.

“But enough about that. We need to leave now to get to the restaurant on time. All questions can be asked there.”

And with that she picks up the bag - which is then taken by Logan - and they all follow her out to the cars. She gets into the one Logan is driving. Lewis does as well and without question Charles follows them. He’s been attached at the hip to the Hamilton siblings all week, so he finds no reason not to be now.

And he ignores the smirk on Carlos and Daniel’s faces as they watch him go.

Once inside Logan pulls off while Iman puts the address into the GPS. Then she turns up the volume to a song and both of them basically scream the lyrics as if they’re the only two there. Charles looks to Lewis who is amused and looks at them in adoration. He finds himself smiling and humming along to the song, but let’s them have their moment.

Minutes into the drive, and a few songs later, Charles’ eyes shift to the rear view mirror just as Iman looks into it. She sees him and winks, all while continuing what has turned into screeching.

The dumb smile on his face can’t be helped.

###

Laughter fills the restaurant, the three tables they’re using all having various different conversations but all in a happy, upbeat mood. Things were a little awkward when everyone arrived, no one knew where to sit and were clearly uncertain with how the tables should mix. Iman had to take control and get them to sit anywhere, even if that meant it was between two drivers.

Iman found herself in between Logan and Charles, with Lewis right across from her. All three were carrying the conversation while she ate off her and Logan’s plates, her mind mostly consumed with eating as much as the oddly delicious asparagus while refusing to order more.

Before she knew it both of theirs was gone and a pout formed on her lips. One that she’s hyper aware of to the point that she shakes her head a little and pulls it together. Reminding herself that she’s being silly.

Her stomach doesn’t get the memo though. It does a weird swirl, and it makes her wonder if she should order more of it. She shakes her head and tunes back into the conversation, focusing on the way Logan wheezes as he laughs at something that Lewis said. Something that Iman knows wasn’t that funny, but that the two of them clearly think lists her brother as king of comedy.

It's almost a reflex as she turns to meet Charles' gaze and give him an eye roll about their theatrics. He’s wearing a bright smile and laughing softly, but with the way he looks at her Iman knows that laughter is largely because the two men are ridiculous.

Having that sort of connection makes her feel sane and pushes a laugh of her own out. But it causes an itch in her throat and before it can get any further, she reaches for her drink. Just as it reaches her lips her eyes notice her plate is no longer in front of her and instead it’s one that looks like it once held what Charles ordered.

Iman’s eyes move back to the man, and he’s immersed in the conversation with a producer and Lance. She stares at him for a while, lips parting to speak and then his head turns toward her. Charles winks at her, motions toward the plate, and then rejoins his conversation.

A soft grin forms on her lips and she grabs her fork, digging into what she promises herself will be the last of her new found addiction for the night. Mid chew she looks up and meets Logan’s gaze and he has a smirk on his face. His eyes twinkle with amusement and a knowing look that she hates to see on him. It’s the signal that he’s either going to say something she won’t like that he knows something that she doesn’t or something she doesn’t want to address.

Quickly she swallows the vegetable and glares at him.

“Shut it.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“Liar.”

His hand moves to his chest, and he fails an expression of faux hurt. “I would never.”

Yet again Iman finds herself rolling her eyes, but when she stops her attention is on her brother who wears a similar expression to Logan’s from moments ago.

“I’m sick of your shit.”

Lewis gapes. “Mine?”

“Both of yours.”

“Hey. I didn’t do anything.”

“That’s mean!”

Exasperated is not a fitting enough word for how she feels in the moment about their antics. Despite her ignoring certain signs and feelings herself she’s smart enough to not ignore them noticing all of that. And the fact that they want to comment and encourage it. No one ever tells the cons to having the world’s biggest cheerleaders by your side.

“Either of you open your mouths to say anything that’s running through those brains of yours when you speak again, and I’ll pop you.”

Both lean a bit away from her at that and a smile forms because she knows they won’t push it. At least not for the night. There’s no universe where she’s delusional enough to think that the subject is dropped forever.

Lewis breaks the ice first, asking her questions about the rest of her season and making a joke that he’s going to be spend more time on the plane this season than he has all the others. From there it’s jokes and catching up with each other. Those close to them join in here and there, some even bring their chair to their part of the table to talk. At some point Charles joins back into the mix and he speaks like he’s been in on all the jokes as long as they have. And he ensures that her water is always topped off and slips her a piece of the cake she swore she wants none of.

By the time the night is over it’s like a peaceful high. They all head back to the hotel, Lewis got her a room for the night, and it’s both hard and easy for her to drift off at ease. In the morning they met for breakfast as their last meeting before everyone, except Logan, were headed to the airport. There were hugs all around and Charles is the last to embrace her, both of them lingering longer than the norm.

She and Logan wave to them until the vans are out of sight. With them officially gone Iman sighs and turns to head back into the hotel. Logan is giving her a look, his brow raised a little as he grins like the cheshire cat.

“Shut up.”

“Nope.”

She walks away and he keeps up with her quick pace and as the elevator doors close, he has a million and one questions and opinions on a situation he got to experience for less than twenty-four hours.

#charles leclerc x black reader #charles leclerc x reader #f1 x reader #f1 x black!reader #formula one x black reader #formula one x reader #formula 1 x black!reader #formula 1 x reader #charles leclerc fanfic #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #f1 imagine #formula one x oc #formula 1 x oc #charles leclerc x oc

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livingdeadmlm · 23 days ago

Text

Low honor Arthur Morgan redemption with a Preist 4/31

Pronouns: reader is referred to as a man

Physical Sex: AMAB

How far are things going?: not full sex but some slight head and dirty talk

Warnings: bit of shame, priest reader didn’t think gay people were being fr, a bit of corruption kink, talks of previous parts Arthur has had, lewd acts in an empty church

Outline: Arthur has had a change of heart recently, but once he sits in the confessional booth with you late at night he can’t help old habits as he teases you, and not knowing better you internalize it.

What inspired me to write how I did: the crappy presort romance book I got lol

Other: hopefully I will make this a few parts! 3446 words 😭 this is very different from my usual writing as I wanted it to be more detailed and flow better let me know what you think!

They spoke of constant temptations, even hesitating to take the vow as they could not give up the sins of the flesh. You tried to understand the strain and comfort of your brothers and explain just how easy it was for you, but that was always met with them stating you were much more blessed than them and, therefore, could not understand their struggles.

It pained you to hear, but over the last decade, it made you learn how to comfort other men and women with their desires and maintain themselves for marriage. Giving tips and tricks, you were never truly sure worked but heard from others how much they did. Besides your unsureness of how well those tips worked, many men and women found comfort in you. While confessional booths were all about privacy and anonymity, many of the women you advised claimed to be able to tell it was you due to the ‘energy’ that surrounded you.

Once you stepped into the booth, one person after another stepped into the warm space and opened up about what they felt ashamed of. While you kept privacy, you did remember the voices you were hearing, and today was a completely new one. This voice was gruff; it must belong to an older man much like yourself.

A new voice, as well as being an older man, made your heart swell. You believed it was never too late to turn to God and find comfort in religion. With how stubborn the men in town were, it made you happy to see one come in and swallow their pride.

"Mother Superior sent me here; she said you could 'lend me an ear' on what's happening." A smile graced your face as you fondly thought of Mother Superior. She was a great woman, especially for the work she did and her enjoyment of it.

"Well, good Sir, what has been happening you wish to speak about?" a low sigh came from next to you as the man began to explain a recent change of heart he was experiencing. He opened up more and more as the time ticked by. About harming people at the start it was those who had been awful he noticed the bar for awful things was getting lower and lower causing him to harm people who hadn’t done anything wrong. What he needed most at this moment was not advice but someone to hear him, and that's what you wanted to provide. His explanations of almost everything he's been going through and what he put others through, if they were not scary and authentic, you'd commend him for being a fantastic storyteller.

He reached a point where he would hesitate more and more when telling you things.

"Mister, you don't have to tell me everything in one session, right? You can always return on a new day or even when I'm open later at night! Sometimes, people have things on their minds before bed that stop them from sleeping." Your voice was soft, not to push the man away but to let him know he had space to get comfortable. As you sat in the confessional, the tension hung thick in the air, almost palpable. Your heart raced, grappling with the weight of the man's confession. His voice's unspoken truths and struggle lingered, creating an electric atmosphere that made the booth feel smaller like without the wood separating you too you would be intertwined.

Though you encouraged him to leave and take his time when opening so much you found yourself drawn to the warmth of his presence, a magnetic pull that ignited an unfamiliar spark within you. His hesitant gaze and the helplessness etched on his face were something you couldn't see or know was happening. Still, if you could, it would stir something profound in your chest, an unexpected desire to comfort him beyond the constraints of your roles. It made you crave to reach out, to reassure him that he was seen and understood. The thought of simply offering a hand, of shattering the barriers between you, felt equally exhilarating and terrifying.

"It's not that, Father (Name). I just have a lot of history with women and even men. I'm not sure you're too keen on hearin' it." Had the booth not had a screen, you would have been a bit embarrassed for him to see you so red.

"Uh, I am not sure what you mean by history. Do you mean violent? We've spoken of that so far. I understand that-"

"No, Father (Name), you've never heard of men bedding up with other men?" Your stomach jumped. You had heard of the verse but have yet to consider it something people did. It's a struggle some men could have, and you never put much more thought behind it.

"I am aware of it on a surface level, but I can help you, as I have many other women and men struggling with adultery." A grunt could be heard on the other side of the confessional booth, and the man sighed, "Okay then, How about this, Father (Name)," there was rustling of the man standing up. "I'll be back about 11:30 to discuss this with you; the things I've done shouldn't be spoken about in the daylight." You craved to reach out and reassure him that he was seen and understood, yet the boundaries loomed large. He bid you bye as the door opened and shut, letting in a tiny sliver of sun.

His impending return felt like a double-edged sword. You wanted to be there for him, to help him navigate his shadows. Still, crossing into more profound, more complicated territory made you uneasy. Questions swirled in your mind—were you genuinely able to help him? Would your inexperience be what holds you back for good this time? You sat in the booth, an odd, uncomfortable feeling in your stomach as you realized you had to prepare for tonight's meeting. While innocent as it was to help a man find the light, it felt like something you had to hide. Meeting so late into the night.

As the sun set, you felt a stir in your stomach. You had your bible, attempting to find a proper way to go about the conversation later. As you looked, all you could feel was nervous, many thoughts swarming your head. Men had come in and described their acts with women, and you were more than clear-headed on the steps they needed to take. But this man, having already acted on the thoughts he had about men, made you think of sodomy as an old law you deemed unfair. To punish those for private acts in their homes. And if true love existed in the act, how could god punish that? Were there other ways to share love between men? That could be something to ask.

Nightfall came, and you were having a late dinner when you went to the confessional booth. Candles burned across the church, offering a gentle light. As you glanced up, you saw a large man enter the booth. Fearing you were late, you quickly followed his steps and sat in the booth.

"Good evening, Father (Name). I am glad you are open so late. I am glad to speak of these times."

"Of course, what about these? Relations are keeping you up, mister—" "Morgan." "I'm sorry?" "You can call me Arthur Morgan." There was silence for a second. You smiled, having a name for the mystery man. "Well, Mister Morgan! What about these relations keep you from sleeping?" There was slight shuffling from the man as he cleared his throat.

"I've stopped seeing men and women that way the last few months, but I miss it. At night, I can't help but want the warmth of someone else next to me, to know who's next to me, feeling their best." His voice was low and soft, and you subconsciously leaned close to the screen to hear him.

The gentle flicker of candlelight danced around the booth, casting shadows against the box. Arthur's voice, low and tinged with longing, pulled you in even further, creating an intimate cocoon that felt almost sacred. "You talk of these connections," you replied softly, your heartbeat echoing in your ears. "It's clear how much you crave that closeness." The moment's intimacy sent shivers down your spine as you leaned in further, the barrier between you both seeming to dissolve.

"It's not just the physical interactions I miss. It's the intimacy—how another person can make you feel alive and understood." You could sense the ache in his words, and your heart responded with an unfamiliar flutter. "I never feel more alive than when I have someone pretty exhausted next to me."

The tight feeling was back in your stomach. "Well, Mister Morgan, the only real sins you commit in these cases are ones of the flesh; God does not punish those as harshly as they are the easiest to commit." there was a chuckle from Arthur. "As I speak to you, father, something tells me you have no experience with this whole thing. You've never experienced this before, have you, father (Name)?" You laughed and shifted in your seat. "You got me there, Mister Morgan; I've never so much as had a girlfriend!" There was silence from Arthur. You could hear your name echo; his voice was so captivating.

"Though my personal experience or lack thereof in these cases isn't important when it comes to helping you." The church was hushed there wasn’t another soul in the church as everyone had long since gone home. Crickets chirped as the silence got longer and longer.

“I know you never mentioned that forgiveness from god is a goal of yours; however, I do think he will forgive! Just sodomy is looked down upon by many people as it's a part of an old set of laws-"his gruff voice interrupted your own, "so no sodomy and two men can lay together?" His inquisitive tone sent a pleasant spark in your abdomen. You sat in thought as you attempted to remember the condemnation of other acts when you remembered your curiosities from this afternoon.

"I do wonder, Mister Morgan, other than, um, sodomy, what else do two men partake in?" Your voice felt small and strained. It felt inappropriate to ask as if it was invasive. His laughter filled the space again, warm and inviting, as if he could sense the heat radiating from you through the wall separating you both. At that moment, the line between priest and man blurred, and the night deepened.

“Some men just like kissin' Father. Most brush it off as an in-the-moment type thing. They were ‘too drunk and didn’t realize.’ But they knew the mouth they were swapping spit with was a man. Maybe even some grabbing and rubbing.” You now felt incredibly top-heavy, as if your legs would struggle to support you if you stood.

You could only imagine what grabbing went on and rubbing. You felt flushed at the idea of such closeness with a man. Was this how homosexuals felt? An ache in their groin to be near a man, not for sex but just passionate closeness? Was the main thing that pushed you to this work not some blessing from God but just Homosexual tendencies?

But he continued, “Some men even love another man’s mouth on them. Did ya know that Father (Name)? A man taking another man in his mouth?” His tone was curious, but you missed his intentions in provoking you. Sure, he was here to become a better person. But even a saint would become desperate to see your face tighten at the most minor touches you’ve ever experienced. The slacks you wore under your cassock felt uncomfortable. They never felt so glued to your body. The extra fabric of your cassock gave you more coverage, but you couldn’t feel more exposed.

“No, I, um, uh, wasn’t aware of that, Mister Morgan. I didn’t know the options two men had when bedded together.” You felt like you were gasping for air as you spoke as if the air from your words was being sucked out of you by Arthur.

“Is there anything else that keeps you at night with these memories, Mister Morgan?” Your stomach felt tight. The atmosphere in the booth was intense and hot. While you wanted to help, you also wished things would. Cool down and not feel overwhelmed.

"I’ve just been feeling lonely. I miss sleeping next to someone most nights—someone who doesn’t leave before I open my eyes in the morning." His voice sounded sad, bringing the warm feelings in your head back down to earth.

"God is with you every night, Mister Morgan," you said, clearing your throat as you gazed through the screen that separated you. You could make out his side profile, but there are no specifics. "Of course, you can’t hug or kiss God. But you can feel His presence with you. I’m also here for you, Mister Morgan. The whole church is! If you need company, there’s always someone here during regular business hours." You heard his boots scrape against the floor on the other side of the booth.

"I suppose you're right, Father. I'll come again. You're quite nice. It's sweet how much you try to understand. Do you get rewarded for your work?" Your stomach felt like it was full of butterflies at the question. You did your best to explain that you received physical rewards for helping others. Still, the joy of assisting was reward enough. Even being asked that question was a reward for all your efforts.

Though Arthur believed you loved your work, he offered: "I just think such a hardworking and kind man deserves more than just praise. How about a nice night out for dinner and some sightseeing? Whenever you're ready, Father (name), just let me know, and we can go off on such a trip—just the two of us."

The booth's screen hid his features, but you could tell he was facing you now, taking your breath away.

This was against the booth's code of conduct. You shouldn't know his name; you shouldn't be looking at him. But you couldn't help yourself. You wanted to open the doors or tear off the screen between you. You want to see the man you have been speaking to for so long, even if it was only a few hours.

“That’s a very kind offer, Mister; maybe one day when folks around here don’t need me as much! I’d love to visit a whole new town.” Your hand reached up for the screen before stopping yourself. “However, Mister Morgan, maybe these plans would be better out of confessional and when I can see you. Of course, what happens here stays in here and will not be mentioned in our free time out of it, but I do believe in stranger danger!”

As you spoke, a playful smile tugged at the corners of your lips, hoping to lighten the mood. “It sounds silly, but sometimes when I think of going to a new town, I can't help but imagine wearing some normal clothes like the rest of you cowboys wear.”

“Maybe we could have that arranged someday, Father (Name).”

The night had finally ended as you heard Arthur bid you goodnight, leaving with a soft click of the confessional door. You sighed gently to yourself as you opened your confessional door and noticed a few candles had gone out. Take the small matchbox from your pocket. As you turned slightly, there was the warmth of a hand around your torso, and a soft laugh sounded through the air, wrapping around you like a warm blanket. You glanced up, surprised to see Arthur's playful grin, his eyes sparkling in the dim light.

"I thought Ya could use a little help with the ambiance," he said, adjusting the hat that now perched softly on your head. The playful gesture sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach. You couldn't help but smile, your heart racing as you felt the closeness between you. The flickering of the last few candles cast gentle shadows on the walls, creating a personal atmosphere.

"Thank you so much, Mister Morgan; I was just about to relight these," you replied, motioning toward the candles. His presence was comforting, and for a moment, everything felt perfect. As you struck a match and brought it to the wick, the flame danced with a life of its own, illuminating Arthur's features. He moved closer, his breath warm against your ear as he whispered, "Sometimes all you need is a little light to guide the way." His hand slid down the front of your cassock, and his much rougher hand groped your stiff hard-on.

“Just no sodomy and God will forgive you right?” His other hand mushed your chest around. You slightly cried, ashamed of the subconscious humping into Arthur’s hand. Ashamed that in front of the son of god, you gave in so easily to another man's advances.

While you had almost no exposed skin on your neck that did not stop Arthur from latching onto it. His hands never stopped rubbing and smooshing. You stumbled forward to a pew, your legs couldn’t hold you up for much longer.

Arthur’s hard-on pressed against your back as his grunts and moans filled your ears. “Could you forgive me Father (Name)?” Your eyes squeezed shut feeling overwhelmed at the licking and sucking onto your skin. The sucking stung in a way that it felt like a punishment for enjoying it. His mo and grunts replayed in your mind as his hands went into your slacks grasping at your crotch so desperately.

He flipped you over your ass pressed against the hardwood of the pew you were leaning on and his hand was right back into place toying with you, it was almost pitiful how you whined out his name.

“How many Hail Marys for this Father (Name)?” Arthur had slowly sunk to his knees kissing down your stomach, maintaining eye contact the whole way down. Your face was on fire as the cowboy’s hat tilted down with your head.

His unwavering eye contact was captivating, exuding a powerful hold that was difficult to resist. A small kiss was pressed against the warm skin above the waistband of your underwear. His tongue playfully peeked out from between his lips.

Gently press it against the tip of your penis. You choked on air as his mouth sealed onto the tip lapping at it like a thirsty animal. You gently tugged his hat over your face, savoring the scent of his hair, his movements kept pace and you could feel your stomach tighten.

You've never even kissed someone before but now having a man touch you in ways you had never done to yourself, his mouth attached to you like a lifeline in such a holy place.

The shame you felt was overshadowed by the feeling of coming undone. Like a rubber band snapping tears burn your eyes as you wheeze against the soft pillow on your mattress. Your fingers were tightly gripping the smooth pillow as you attempted to catch your breath.

Stumbling up from your mattress the floor creaked under your weight. In your frantic movements, you dropped to your knees and reached for your crucifix. Holding the cold beads in your hand made you realize how much your skin was burning up. The beads tapped lightly together in your hand as you began to pray, desperate to apologize for such a filthy dream.

While you couldn't control it and you knew that, this hadn't ever happened before. The small wet patch on your underwear was cold when you finished praying, you could only ignore it so long before you eventually had to change them. Upon closer inspection your sheet also needed cleaning as you deduced you were also grinding against your bed when the dream reached its peak.

Hou wasn't sure how this would affect you if you were to ever meet the man face to face, he didn't need to know but what if he found out?

#male reader #m!reader #arthur morgan x male reader #red dead redemption x male reader #priest kink #arthur x male reader

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lucienne-thee-librarian · 6 months ago

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Just to minimize my chances of being genuinely misunderstood OR deliberately misinterpreted, and crucified for something I don't think, How Dare You Say We Piss on the Poor website etc...I'm gonna say this right up top. I absolutely understand why people don't like Thessaly as a character, if anyone does completely unironically stan her as some kind of feminist hero who Did Nothing Wrong uwu, I personally see it as a bit of a red flag. I don't like terfs real or fictional. In a vacuum, I could even completely sympathize and agree with the people who want her cut.

HOWEVER.

It's really something to me to see people clamoring for her to be cut, because she carries and expressed an ugly indefensible prejudice (transphobia) in words towards (1) person. Meanwhile Hob fucking Gadling enacted one of the most violent forms of antiblack racism I can even think of against thousands no, millions of people, the ripple effects of which still affect billions more today. Just a little light idk, profiting off the fucking slave trade and had to be told by someone else that it was bad...and he's a fan favorite.

People are saying Thessally being Dream's love interest reflects badly on him or is somehow endorsement by the narrative (?!?!?!?!?!? Didn't she (SPOILER ALERT AS IF IT MATTERS BY NOW) help participate in his extended assisted suicide? She's not painted as a great person to me just another character what are y'all SMOKING whatever fine. It's fine this is fine.) But shipping Dream with Mr. Former Slaver is not only not verboten or frowned on widely in the fandom but its THEE most popular pairing by far. So...why the difference?

Like where are the same fans who are saying Thessaly shouldn't just be more clearly shown to be wrong, she shouldn't even be in the show at all when it comes to Hobert's crimes??? Yes, transphobia is indefensible. Isn't racism?

And I hear the cries of "it's fiction!!!" Already rallying (if anyone who needs to hear this even sees it lol) to which I say:

HORSESHIT. I KNOW you don't, deep down, really agree because if you did, why get upset about Thessaly being included??? Why does what she said to one person matter if it's Just Fiction You Guyze. Fictional characters are allowed to do bad things and fiction isn't reality sweaty....except when you only apply that standard to fictional racists you like and simp for, but fictional transphobes you don't are SO HARMFUL they shouldn't even be portrayed in fiction.

Like. Give me a big fat BREAK. This looks like bullshit, no? I'm sorry, but I'd love for someone to try and give any other explanation besides one personally offended you or hit home for you, and the other doesn't.

And if that bothers you or you feel like it says something negative about you...idk what you want me to say??? You can't control how other people perceive you and that's how people outside this majority-of-the-fandom bubble see it. You don't need to respond, I just wish and genuinely hope this gives you a moment to think about why fans who ARE bothered by both (and not just paying lip service to being bothered by the one but railing against the other) are so frustrated with people saying everyone is welcome but in practice only bending over backwards for the comfort and emotions of themselves, and people they can easily relate to.

You don't have to like Thessaly (I don't. I find her an interesting antagonist, I don't stan her. And frankly imo likability is not. the point of her character) but you'll pardon me for feeling more than a bit cynical and side eying people's motivations for what seems a...pretty obvious double standard, on what fictional crimes related to real world issues matter to y'all, and which clearly don't. Either actually bring the same energy to the table for fictional people who committed atrocities, even if against a group you're not part of and thus don't feel the need to empathize with, or just carry on, but accept that you don't have the SLIGHTEST room to talk about cutting characters who do immoral things. And you also need to accept that you look like a hypocrite when you do.

#thessaly #wanda the sandman #hob gadling #fandom racism #I could've cried sexism!!! Problematic Male vs Female Characters except 1) I don't actually think that's the main reason *here*#2) there are WAY better examples of that particular double standard in this fandom #also i can admit when I'm a bit of a hypocrite or was.#i used to dip my toes into the dreamling stuff too early on #but idk. It just got too sour seeing ppl whitewash (lol I know I'm a comedian)#what he did over and over. And I genuinely had started to wonder #if the show hadn't included that particular crime and I'd just imagined it from the comics because #my memory is shit sometimes and I guess I was naive. I *wanted* to believe someone would talk aboutit #if it had made it in. but ultimately i went back and checked and no #and seeing how the whole fandom behaving affected my non-white mutuals some of whom...#like these are my friends man or ppl I just respect and I can't just. Ignore their feelings and their pov #and act like they werent making points or it doesn't matter #like it's all just fun and games for everyone on the same terms. And seeing how easy it was #for everyone to ignore was so unsettling. I couldn't keep pretending it was just fiction and didn't affect anyone real #Call me a bully a t3rf apologist (fuck you and for the record. no)#a puritan or a Fancop (actually stop comparing #people disagreeing with you online to what cops do. For fucks sake you just make it look like nothing is really real to you outside fandom)#whatever man. Whatever helps you sleep. I'm just gonna block you #if you're clearly sticking your fingers in your ears. engaging with you is a waste of time and energy then #Hell I have sympathy for anyone who doesn't like thessaly #especially trans fans. Especially rn. But lbr that sympathy for a lot of the white trans/queer fans only goes one way!!!#never gets extended to anyone else's issues. Like THATSthe issue. And it's shitty!#(sorry this post is not about me in the confessional lol that's why I put this at the bottom #I just had feelings to get out and yes its my blog but i didn't want to clog the airways)

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yallthemwitches · 19 days ago

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Catch the Wind Chapter 17: Threefold Law

A flicker of pain flashed past Snape’s eyes, mouth twisting into a grimace. “Look what he’s done to you—how could you let him—” “Would you even believe that I asked him to? Or are you too pathetic and in denial to see that maybe, just maybe, I could want something that doesn’t revolve around you.” She watched as his expression went from triumph, to anger, to complete hollow sadness. There was no going back now—if he wanted to hear the worst of his fears, she was willing to give it. “I love him ,” she choked out. “I love him with a kind of love you will never get—not from me. You forfeited that chance the day you chose dark magic.”

Smut, fluff, angst, plot...the gang's all here!

Thank you everyone who has asked for an update or has kept supporting me and this work. This fic is especially a labor of love and it makes me happy that people look forward to it!

AO3 Link Here

It’s hard to ignore whispers when they are about you.

“Alright—explain.”

Lily kept her eyes on her toast, too tired and sore to put any energy into Marlene’s interrogation.

“What, we’re just going to ignore that the whole bloody school is talking about how your precious boyfriend went absolutely nutter at Sluggy’s last night?”

Of course the news would get out. Anyone who had half a brain would have jumped at the chance to talk about it. What was more juicy than the head students deciding to have a raging meltdown at a professor.

“He was angry, there’s not much to say.” She murmured, head still bowed. A dull ache reverberated from between her legs, reminding her of the only part of last night she wished to remember.

“Not much to say? Babe, I heard you two stormed out of there–heard you were right pissed too.”

Was she? At this point she hardly even knew. She didn’t like that James had the tendency to be impulsive, and in hindsight she should have shown a bit more tact when trying to remove them from the party— but hadn’t he been right? She placed her mind’s eye back in the room, picturing the faces of Regulus and Avery, coming up short once she tried to recall how James looked when staring down at a very frazzled Slughorn.

“I’m not saying Slughorn deserved it, but James did have a point. What they wrote about us was awful and they shouldn’t have gotten away with it.” She took a large bite of her toast, punctuating her statement.

“And it doesn’t occur to you that now you will be even more of a target? Think about it Lils, you poked a sleeping dragon with this move. Maybe James was trying to be Mr. protective but–”

A surge of anger bubbled up. The only explanation was that it had been trapped inside her all evening, repurposed at the time in the form of lust, but now spilling forth unfiltered.

“But what, Marlene? They are going to attack me whether someone says something or not. At least I have one person who isn’t willing to pretend like it isn’t bloody happening.”

Marlene shrunk back, eyes darting wildly over her friend's face.

“Christ Lily, I didn’t mean it like that,” Marlene whispered, sounding smaller than she had ever heard, “You know that I want the best for you. I’m just worried is all—those blokes who hang around Slytherin are evil—even Snape.”

“Trust me, I know that.”

Lily stood up, feeling less hungry than when she came down. She was aware that the anger was irrational, but it coursed through her nonetheless. She wished she had never left James’ arms that morning, wished they could be in that limitless space where all that existed was their bodies intertwined and the heavy scent of sex. At least there the anger was transformed into something more self-serving.

As she retreated from the hall with Marlene’s stare boring into her back, she promised herself she would apologize later for her overreaction, not having the energy in her now to repair things. She headed for the stairs, hoping to find a solitary place where she could calm herself down and hide from the whispers that continued to plague her since she stepped out of bed.

As she turned the corner, James came bounding down the steps. He hadn’t even bothered to comb his hair and the strands still had memories of her fingers sliding through them. She rushed towards him, reaching up to throw her arms around his neck.

“I was a fool this morning to get out of bed—let's skip potions.” James froze as her lips skimmed against his pulse point, her tongue flicking out for good measure.

“I just want you again– please.”

She moved her hand to pull at his belt, but a calloused one wrapped around her fingers, stilling her urgency.

“Lily–-wait. We need to talk.”

Eyes flashing up to meet his, she could see something harboring in his usual cool gaze.

“What. What happened?”

“Let's just—yeah, let's skip potions and we can go to the office.”

He took her hand in his, pulling her back up the steps. He didn’t look back at her, shoulders set as though heavy boulders were pressing them into a straight line. When they reached the office, James motioned for her to sit and she obliged, watching him pace back and forth in front of her, face twisted up in pain.

“James, if this is about me being upset about what you said to Slughorn last night, I’m not —-”

“Snape saw us.” His voice cut through hers, clear and simple. “He saw us in the corridor—and I let him. Merlin Lily, I’m such a bloody fucking piece of shit.”

“What?” She stood up, fingers grabbing at the sides of her skirt for something to stave off the growing anxiety.

“When we were shagging. He just appeared…and I didn’t stop it—he couldn’t have been there more than a few seconds but—”

She took another cautious step forward, eyes unfocused, trying to track his erratic movements. She opened her mouth to speak but he lifted a hand for silence, misery pouring out of his mouth.

“Godric, I’m just as bad as him. Even Sirius practically agrees and you know you’ve fucked up when Sirius chastises you.” His reserve was crumbling, completely unraveling right in front of her like a loose spool.

“You deserve better. I should have stopped, should have stopped him, should have told you when it was all happening— ah Lily. ”

He was barely keeping it together, cracking under the weight of his own remorse. Tears were springing up into his eyes and he knocked his glasses askew trying to wipe them away.

“I’m shit—I haven’t changed at all. I’m still that arrogant, ego driven ass from fifth year who just wants everyone to see that I am better than them—that I have you.”

She was close enough to touch him now. He kept turning his head, trying to simultaneously wipe away tears while averting her gaze.

“James—” She reached a hand out for his chest, but he recoiled from it.

“No, I don’t deserve it, Lily. Do you understand? I broke your trust. I broke it.”

“James.” She tried again, her voice now strong and demanding. “No you didn’t—I don’t care.”

He stalled, tears still gathering under the rim of his glasses. A small part of her wished she could take a photo to remember his vulnerability forever.

“Did you hear me? I don’t care.” She repeated, her voice stern. “Fuck Snape, and fuck all those people at the party while we are at it.”

“But Lily, he saw us,” he said, voice pained.

“Good–maybe now he will leave me the fuck alone.”

They stared at each other for a while, sizing each other up. It felt like a strange impasse of emotion, one wanting to repent and the other not willing to accept it, somehow seeing no fault in the misdeeds.

“You’re being serious?”

Lily reached out a hand, wiping the salt streaks that marked their way down his cheeks.

“James—no one has stood up for me like you did that night. No one—and especially not Snape,” she let her hand trace its way down to his chest, toying with the buttons of his collar.

“I know I’m mental, but it actually meant a lot to me what you said to Slughorn. I’ve always been too afraid to tell him off for his house and you did that for me.”

She reached a hand to cup the back of his neck, twisting the strands of his hair lightly with her fingers.

“Also—technically I did invite anyone to walk up on us—sort of shit karma that it was Snape but what are you going to—”

“I really love you, you know.” He cut her off again, but this time it was heavy and pure.

“I mean it. This isn’t just some teenage fancy that I’ll shrug off after school. I love you and if I ever lose you because I did something stupid, I’d never forgive myself.”

He pressed his forehead to hers, his breath hot and sweetly familiar on her face.

“You aren’t losing me—especially because of Snape. I love you too.”

They stood like that for a while, arms around each other with their faces pressed together. After months of clawing for carnal physical touch, the quiet swaying together felt right, a reminder that love could take many different forms, each just as powerful as the next.

After a while they curled up on the couch, James placing her on his lap so she could lean her head against his chest, combing his hand through her hair. Lily tilted her head upwards, humming at the sensation of his fingers on her scalp.

“I can’t believe you told Sirius,” she murmured, still leaning in to let his fingers reach around and tangle through the other side of her hair.

“You can’t? I tell that bloke everything—well almost everything.”

She snorted. “Yeah, apparently even the naughty details of our sex life.”

“Hey! I was in crisis mode! What was I supposed to do?” James whined, giving a strand of hair a little tug.

“Whatever Potter, but if he starts making sly remarks, I will actually be angry.”

James leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her nose, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Well, good for me you're very sexy when you are mad.”

********

She knew she didn’t have much time before one of the boys would catch on. She ran down the dark corridors of the dungeons, wand raised in case someone lurked in the shadows, waiting for exactly someone like her to be found alone and unguarded.

She couldn’t pinpoint how she knew he’d be there, but she was right: Snape stood behind the empty teacher’s desk they had always used together, looking down at a closed potions kit that he clearly had no intention of opening. Her divination had always been terrible, but when it came to him, she was a prophet. He was easier to read than tea leaves.

At her entrance, he looked up, eyes expanding before lowering into slits, a twisted scowl forming on his lips. It hit her suddenly that he was probably replaying whatever he saw that night—no doubt some moment of carnal lust that was never meant for him. She didn’t want to linger on the thought of what state she was in when he last looked at her.

“We need to talk.”

His mouth pulled into something of a smile, more sinister than she was used to seeing directed at her.

“Was it you?” Her voice bounced off the thick stone, making it seem booming in comparison to how she felt. “Was it you who wrote those things on the pitch?”

He kept his mouth tight, lips nothing but a straight thin line.

“If it wasn’t you then it was one of your mates—don’t deny it.”

He picked up the knife that was laying on the table and turned it gently in his hand, eyes fixated on the gleaming silver. He spoke slow, seething.

“I didn’t want to believe it—but what they say in my house is true. You let him fuck you like some kind of animal–.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lily cut in, her face twisted with anger. She knew he was saying it to deflect, to get some upperhand from his witness.

“He let me watch it, Lily.” The knife clattered back on the table and he looked up at her. His voice was edging on hysterics.

“He wanted me to see you begging for him because as much as you lie to yourself, he treats you no better than any of the Slytherins do.”

Lily took quick strides forward, eyes blazing into his. “And what if I wanted it, hm? Did it ever occur to you that maybe I want him to fuck me like that? Because I trust him enough not to think like you. ”

Snape looked like he had been slapped, face cocked to the side.

“James told me you saw. So quit acting like you have some high ground.”

A flicker of pain flashed past Snape’s eyes, mouth twisting into a grimace. “Look what he’s done to you—how could you let him—”

“Would you even believe that I asked him to? Or are you too pathetic and in denial to see that maybe, just maybe, I could want something that doesn’t revolve around you.”

She watched as his expression went from triumph, to anger, to complete hollow sadness. There was no going back now—if he wanted to hear the worst of his fears, she was willing to give them.

“I love him ,” she choked out. “I love him with a kind of love you will never get—not from me. You forfeited that chance the day you chose dark magic.”

Severus’ jaw clenched, eyes now glassy. He stepped away from the desk, rounding so he could get closer. She took a step back, realizing her wand was still tight in her hand.

“They are planning to eradicate all muggleborns from the wizarding world.” His voice was low and cold, coming down like a hammer. “Voldemort is gaining footing in the Ministry–it won’t happen fast but it’s what they are working towards, and when they do all opposing parties will be exterminated.”

Lily could feel the blood in her veins congeal, the room getting fuzzy at the edges.

“Do you think Potter is going to lay down his family’s life and power because he wants to fuck some muggleborn in the corridor?”

“Stop it.” She took out her wand and pointed it at him but he didn’t flinch, staring down at it like she was brandishing a tree branch like they did as children.

“Potter’s family has already chosen their side and they will lose. I’ve spoken to the proper channels—told them how brilliant you are. He’s said he’d be interested—”

“He who? He as in Voldemort?”

Severus shifted a little, shoulders squaring backwards. “Yes.”

Lily’s hand shook, her wand still pointed at his face.

“He’s willing to meet with you if you accept. He will protect you, Lily. We can be together— safe. We can—”

The room was no longer fuzzy, it was over-saturated, a brilliant blinding sharpness of color.

Stupefy

She saw Severus’ eyes grow wide as the spell hit him square in the chest. He lay motionless on the ground, gazing at a fixed point upwards. She let out a scream and it echoed through the corridor, sounding like thunder the farther it traveled.

“You disgust me.”

She turned around without giving him a second glance. She didn’t know where to go but she needed to leave, making it only around the corner before shrinking onto the ground, the world going dim and claustrophobic.

It felt like she was watching herself hyperventilate in real time, sucking in air rapidly and then forgetting how to expel it. Her fingers clawed at her knees, trying to gain purchase on anything to ground her.

Lily—

He was there, miraculously, like a spectral vision. His head appeared first before his whole body flashed into the foreground. Throwing off his invisibility cloak to dive towards her, she made a whimpering sound as he wedged both forearms under her backside, lifting her up against his body like one would a wounded animal.

“Lily–Lily. What happened? Breath, baby. You aren’t breathing.”

The distance of his voice didn’t match the feel of his body. She tried sucking in another breath, then another, realizing that the choking sounds were coming from her.

James placed her back down against the wall in a seated position. Her hands sandwiched between his, he hooked his thumbs around so he could guide her palms together, then slowly drift them apart while counting slowly: one, “two, three, four…. . “ He repeated, opening and shutting their hands together until she no longer heard the horrible choking sound and her lungs were able to fill with air.

“He’s already one of them...” She murmured out, dropping their hands and lunging forward against his chest. Usually the smell of him against her made the rest of the world disappear, but the floor was still cold beneath and the smell of molded stone warped her scent.

“Already what? Who is?” James spoke slowly, cradling her head against his heart and caressing her back.

“Sev—Snape. He told me—He’s met Voldemort.”

James' body stiffened under her, fingers clenching to the point of causing pain.

“Where is he—Lily did he touch you?”

He was pulling out his wand, looking down the corridor to see if any movement would appear out of the shadows.

“No—but he said—he spoke to Voldemort, about me…about sparing me if I—if I .”

James reared back. She could see the fire in his eyes, a murderous gaze.

“Where is he, Lily. I need you to tell me.”

“No, There’s no use doing anything.”

James let out a cathartic cry, swishing a hand through the air.

“Fuck off with that Lily—stop protecting him. I’m going to kill him–really kill him.”

He was getting to his feet, wand still in hand. She had never seen him like this, not even when he would get in stupid duels with Slytherins. It was an anger that well surpassed what he had shown at Slughorn’s party. It was palpable and deadly.

“I need you with me James. Please don’t leave me here.” She knew it was the only way to get him to listen. Any other reason and he would have stalked off, gone to get his map and hunted down Severus like a pig for slaughter. But she wasn’t lying either, she did need him. He was the only thing grounding her away from the complete void.

He ran a hand through his hair and let out a strangled cry, turning to crouch back to her. It was the second time she had ever seen tears in his eyes. This time he let them run freely.

“Voldemort—-Snape, fuck he’s an idiot…” James fell into a series of babbles, trying to string together a cohesive thought but was coming up short. It was Lily’s turn to console, lurching toward him and grabbing his face to wipe away the tears with her thumbs.

“Shh--I’m right here with you. Look at me.”

James placed his hands on top of hers, pressing her hands against his cheeks.

“Nothing is going to happen to you, Lily. I will not let anything happen.”

“I know.”

She didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but by the time they picked themselves up and walked back to the Gryffindor tower, the sun was peeking out from the mountains. They slipped into the boys dorms then behind the safety of his bed curtains, shucking off their clothes so they could tangle as close as possible. A fleeting sense of safety.

******

Lily didn’t know what time it was when she woke but she could sense that all of the other boys had left for their classes. Her face pressed into James’ bare chest, warm and reassuring breaths rose steady like a wave against her. She could tell he was asleep by the way he hummed softly, sounds stolen from a place far within his mind.

Their legs tangled together out of familiarity. One of her thighs was hitched up against his hip and she could feel a heavy arm wrapped around her in a protective hold. Against her pelvic bone, a hardness pressed against her, causing something in her body to stir. She instinctively wiggled against it, and he gave a soft moan, before drifting back off.

It felt good to be held like this, to be wanted by him even in the deep recesses of his sleep. As she continued to rouse from her haze, she realized that it was something she wanted more now than ever: to be as close to him as possible. War was no longer coming, it was there–and they were about to lose precious time where they could be wrapped together like this so often.

She waved her hips in a circular motion, brushing her pelvis back up against him. He responded again, this time with a hand reaching down to her bum, giving it a soft squeeze. His eyes were still closed but his body worked on muscle memory.

Uncurling a hand from against his chest, she started to make the passage down, her fingertips skimming over his taut chest muscles until it found the small path of hair that led down to his groin. Passing through the black curls, she reached her objective, palming his erection with a warm, lulling hand.

“ Lily.” His eyes blinked open, still blurred from dreams.

“Ah, sorry—” He was still too delirious to realize that his cock was pressing into her willing hand and he tried to shuffle back. In response, she curled her fingers around him, watching as the realization flooded his face.

“Lily—ah Merlin .” That woke him– the feel of her fingers yanking him completely out of any subconscious still lingering. The hand that had grabbed her arse now contracted against her, fingers pressing deeper, roaming around to kneed at soft skin.

“I want to feel you baby,” She murmured and he responded with a noise that blended between a squeak and a growl.

“Lily–you’re so lovely. How do I deserve to wake up like this…. Shit.” He reached his other hand around to cup one of her breasts and her tit hardened under his touch, yearning for him to keep swiping a thumb over its flat center.

Lily moaned into his chest, arching her back to press her breast farther into him. The hand around his cock started to slowly tug from the base up, reaching his tip and finding that some of his come was already dripping. She smeared her thumb through the liquid, using it as lubricant to slide her hand back down. A rumbling groan quivered their connected bodies.

“ Ah Merlin–oh shit—”

She hitched her leg up higher onto his thigh, pressing her body forward so her center leaned against where her hand worked him. His tongue moved erratically, switching to her other tit and swirling into his open mouth. With every stroke of her hand his eyes fluttered, fighting to stay open.

“Lily, my darling, my life, my love—oh fuck Lils.”

She gripped him again at the base and guided his tip to the top of her clit, massaging his cock against her for stimulation. Her head tilted back with a guttural moan and he released her tit to catch it, his tongue slow and soft as it started to tangle around hers.

“I want you inside me. I want to feel you deep. I need you every moment I possibly can.”

He panted out a noise against her lips and she lapped it up with her tongue, skimming it across his lower lip until his mouth welcomed her in again. Tilting her hips forward, she rubbed his cock through her arousal until she reached her opening, letting his tip slide in just enough to feel the tug of her muscles expanding to accommodate him.

“Lily baby, I won’t last long. You are so tight–so beautiful, you have no idea how good you feel—.”

She pushed him in a bit farther and the words cut in his throat. Pulling her leg to hook against his waist, he rutted his hips forward until their hip bones met and he filled her completely.

They rocked like that for a while, him helping her body move back and forth on him by pushing and pulling on her ass. She threaded her fingers through his hair and panted on his neck, stopping only to give small nips and licks to his pulse point.

Unlike the last time where their lust was rabid and frantic, they meld together in a calm serenity. She could feel every rotation of his hips as he pushed himself farther inside, letting every delicious moment of friction be savored. His voice was a whispered mantra, her name falling out of his mouth like whips of smoke that wafted away as soon as they left him.

“Baby, I’m going to come–” he breathed. She could already feel him shaking under her, his body preparing for climax.

Grabbing his face with her hands, she forced him to look at her, his eyes round and clear without the hindrance of his glasses.

“Come for me baby. I love you, I want you always. Always.”

She watched as his eyes dilated in release, mouth falling open like holding a long rapturous note. She caught it in her own, letting him sing it into her throat. She wanted to drink up every moment of his pleasure and feel it coarse through her.

Coming down, he rolled to the side, falling onto his back as though his soul was now depleted. Eyes closed, a shadow of a smile pulled at his lips. He reached over and pinched at her hip, beckoning her to be close again.

“C’mere.”

She could feel the sticky evidence of his climax between her legs as she complied, curling into the crook of his shoulder. He grumbled, dissatisfied, and reached to pinch her hip again.

“No, on top of me.”

His eyes were now open, flooding again with the desire that had pushed him into a blinding ecstasy moments before. She swung a leg over his waist and hoisted herself atop him, her moist thighs pressing against his already re-hardening erection.

“Higher.”

She arched an eyebrow, but he didn't give an explanation. Grabbing onto her thighs he slid himself downward until she could feel his breath drifting into her center, mixing with both of their slick arousal.

“ Oh gods– oh fuck James–” Her mind caught up slower than the pleasure his tongue made as it darted up into her, causing all vision to go white. She could feel her hands digging into his hair, tilting his head as she mewled for more.

“Let me take care of you.”

His mouth closed in again, and with every kitten lick a new universe was born. The world fell away, hot and spiraling through a dimension she didn’t care to know and hoped to never come back from.

******

In the laws of muggle created magic, there is the fundamental belief that any energy you put out will return to you threefold. Of course, Lily didn’t believe in false magic systems, but she was starting to feel like maybe they were onto something.

She wasn’t sure what kind of karmic energy she had sent into the world to cause such a visceral reaction, but the effects were certainly coming back to her. Looking down at the note in her lap, she hoped this was the final blow.

Lily,

Vernon wants to propose to me but his family has requested that they meet ours before we become officially engaged. I expect you to attend.

It will be a dinner at Vernon’s sisters (address below) on November 4th, 19:00

Petunia

She sat on the top of the astronomy tower and reread it multiple times, memorizing each curve of her sister’s handwriting. It looked messy to her and she wondered if she had been physically pained to write it. Something told her she wasn’t too far off.

She fished into her bag, found an old cigarette that Remus had offered her one drunken evening and used her wand to light it. To watch the smoke waft towards the Scottish mountainside felt as close to serenity as she was going to achieve.

If dealing with the fallout with Snape wasn’t enough, she hadn’t had the heart to go back to potions since the party, presumably failing the one thing she had a shot of doing occupationally when she got out of school. As much as it haunted her, she couldn’t let her mind linger on what Snape had said—that somewhere out beyond those mountains the most powerful wizard in the world knew her name and was interested .

“Oh no! Our valiant Head Girl! Fallen from grace!” Sirius loped into view, followed by Remus who squinted at his mate before offering her a soft smile.

“Bad day, huh.” Remus and Sirius flanked her, the former doling both of them smokes from his trouser pocket.

“What gave it away?”

“You don’t smoke unless you're drunk or stressed—it’s kind of your tell.”

Of course Remus picked up a pattern she hadn’t even realized herself and of course he was right.

“Care to elaborate on your woes.”

Lily held the note straight out in front of her so both boys could lean in to read. In such close proximity, she could tell that Sirius and James used the same shampoo.

After a few moments of quiet reading, Sirius’ face scrunched up into a scowl. “What? Is his family sizing up yours like some sort of dog breeding set-up.”

“I mean his sister is a dog breeder so—that’s not too far off base actually.”

“Fuckin’ hell—these muggles man.”

Remus took a drag of his cigarette and reread the letter. “Alright, so don’t go. Simple as that.”

“But she expects me to.”

“Yeah and my parents expected me to be a Slytherin prick who wanks blood purity, but we can’t always get what we want.” Sirius retorted, forming his mouth into an o to blow out an impressive smoke circle.

Lily looked at the letter again. Something tugged at the deep part of her subconscious, something that related to Snape and what he had said about the potential future if Voldemort rose further up the ranks. If wizard families were going to be exterminated, what did that mean for muggles?

“Ask James to go—-Merlin knows his sappy arse will sit straight in the line of fire if that means making you happy.”

She struggled to picture it, James at a table with the Dursleys while her sister loomed over them all like some vulture waiting for the kill. To the boys’ point, even the James in her imaginary scenario looked happier just to be beside her.

“I dunno—I’d need to ask permission to leave grounds for it and having both Heads out of school would be a bit much.”

“Bollocks—Remus here can keep the school afloat while you're gone!” Sirius gave Remus a hearty smack on the back and he retaliated by shoving him until he tumbled over.

“Fine fine. I’ll ask for myself but I’m not going to make any waves getting James to come too. We are already in hot water as it is after Slughorn's party—we can’t be the first Head Students in history to lose complete credibility.”

She said her goodbyes to the boys and slumped her way towards the clock tower on the south side of the castle. The note firmly clenched in her palm, she found the owl scepter and whispered Gum Drops into its ear, making it screech to life.

She watched as the owl unfurled its wings and rose into the air, bringing her with it. A hollow feeling thumped into her chest, not because of her stupid sister but because being in this close proximity to Dumbledore meant there was a good chance she wouldn’t be able to control her fear anymore.

Since the morning, she had mostly been able to pretend like it had been a nightmare: just a delirious dream that could easily be waved away by the streaking sunlight of morning and the feel of James’ pulse against hers. She wasn’t ready to reckon with it, the idea that the boy who she had once laughed and played with was now close enough to someone so despicable ...and had put her name into his mind.

She didn’t want to fathom what Voldemort found interesting in her. She was a mudblood, worse than dirt in his eyes, a pawn at most. James had been right: Snape was a fool to believe that he would want anything to do with her besides to see her dead.

The owl halted in front of a brightly lit archway that led into a study. A phoenix slept on its pedestal while Dumbledore sat looking over some parchment while a quill scribbled on a journal next to him.

“Miss Evans, was I expecting you today? Surely if I was I would have put a kettle on–”

He stood up with a smile, opening his arms as a gesture of welcome before nodding towards the ornate wooden chair across from the desk. As she sat, a bowl of gum drops floated in her direction and she nudged it a way with a quiet no thanks.

“Is this about what happened at Professor Slughorn’s party? Because I would just like to assure you that Horace is not upset, though perhaps a little startled—he says he really misses you in class, do return to it. He won’t bite.”

Lily’s cheeks bloomed red. It hadn’t occurred to her that their stunt at the party would make it all the way to Dumbledore’s ears.

“No actually—though I am sorry about that—I’m afraid it’s quite silly actually but—”

All of the sudden, she felt like she was back in first year, being spoon fed even the most basic understanding of magic. She took the note and reached it over the table, letting Dumbledore take it to skim himself, his mouth moving silently as he read the words.

“It’s my sister—she’s getting engaged and uhm–”

“Congratulations to your sister!” Dumbledore clips in, giving her an approving nod.

“Er, thanks. Well, as you read, she expects me to be there and I feel a sense of obligation–”

“Miss Evans, you know full well that I always put family before anything else. I’ll give you permission to leave the grounds as long as you return within the same day. I’ll alert Hagrid of your departure so he can unlock the gate for you.”

She didn’t know whether she should feel relief or dread. No matter what, there was no going back now.

Dumbledore turned to look out the window, arms folded behind his back. A silence descended on the space and Lily felt the distinct feeling of energies shifting.

“Wonderful season, Autumn. It is the most beautiful part of the year, yet it is the closest nature is to dying.” He didn’t turn around, standing as though turned to stone.

“We live our lives so terrified of death that we sometimes forget the beauty in the process of living.”

She didn’t respond, unclear if he was inviting a conversation or just ruminating.

“I hope you know you can share anything with me, Miss Evans.”

He didn’t turn back to her but she could feel it, feel that he had already looked deep inside her and sensed her fear. Perhaps he already knew, heard it from a secret source well beyond the confines of the castle. There was no possible way he wasn’t aware of the tensions building within his own student body and suddenly it felt awfully ignorant of him to have done nothing all this time.

Still, if anyone could do something, it was him. She could rat Severus out, tell him about the plan with the ministry—everything. It was vital information for a man with the power to wield it, yet there he still stood, watching the leaves fall to the deaths at the window.

Her response sounded far away from her. “Yes, I know, thank you Professor.”

He turned back to her, a curious glint in his eye. “Very well—you enjoy yourself and give your sister my congratulations—but when you come back, could you come visit me again? I have a particular proposition I would like to share with you.”

The hairs on her arms bristled, but she didn’t respond. Rising to leave, the weight of what had been left unsaid globbed like tar in her chest.

“Oh and Miss Evans?” Dumbledore sat back in his chair and leaned with his elbows on the tabletop.

“Bring Mr. Potter on both occasions–the dinner and the next time you visit—something tells me he will find a way to include himself anyhow. Better we save him the trouble.”

#catch the wind #jily #james potter #lily evans #yallthemwitches #marauders era #jily fanfiction #hp marauders #james x lily #hp #jple

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riveracheron · 1 year ago

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eh. might as well post this now. a few of these are wish fulfillment rather than actual theorizing but explanations under the cut

i have an alchemy hyperfixation and all the alchemy stuff in tmagp makes me very excited so a lot of my theories are related to that

spoilers for the pilot btw

main character gets an eye injury - the image will not leave my head. in the magnus institute ruins statement there was this whole thing about redcanary having some kind of encounter with or experience with eye trauma and that feels like something thats just. gonna come up again

another mechanisms va - self explanatory, we need to complete the set. would love to hear kofi or rachel.

gwen has trauma related to something that happened with elias - this is going on the theory that she’s not elias’ counterpart, but a relative of some kind. something spooky happens to him and that pushes gwen to research the paranormal.

character referencing nicholas flamel - all the main characters have names that reference alchemists, and nicholas flamel is probably the most famous alchemist of all time. i doubt he’ll be given the smirke treatment because that kinda already happened with the transphobic wizard books, but someone could be sharing his name.

mag 114 statement is relevant - thats the. hill top road statement that deals with other realities, and anya (the statement giver) could be from the protocol verse. we could totally hear about the aftermath of her departure

alice/sam/gwen = three primes - the three main alchemical symbols on the OIAR crest, and a good sort of symbolic trio sorter. the three peimes are salt, sulphur and mercury, and are the basis for alchemy. the down to earth, reliable salt, the firey, unpredictable sulfur, and the adaptable, easygoing mercury. i think these could apply i just want to have it called out in universe

lena is a good person - i don’t think they’d pull the evil boss thing twice. i just think lena’s weird mannerisms are from her autistic swag

celia is related to or is agnes - (related to as in. her story involves agnes, not that shes like. a sister.) this comes from a theory by @/pinklotjeart, i think. basically: through the way her death was described (spark returned to the lightless flame) and some timeline discrepancies and general avatarness making it weird, agnes might not be Dead dead. and celia’s counterpart, lynne - well, she saw a fire ghost. also, both her and agnes are the only non one-off characters who have shakespeare names afaik. agnes MONTAGUE, celia from as you like it…

annabelle cane is related somehow - self explanatory, she was at hilltop road when everything went down. might have been pulled in.

a famous alchemist is robert smirke’d - self explaining, give me more canon historical figures jonny

another kitty cat - i want more kitty in podcast is that a crime

augustus is not jonah - we hear jonah’s voice as ben meredith in 193, so im skeptical that tim fearon’s character is jonah for that reason.

oiar group has a messy moment that devolves into actual physical violence - mmm angst i think they deserve to smack eachother around a bit

bonzo cult - yeah.

oiar found family - we got the group of coworkers that hate each other angst last time gimme the “hurting one to get to the others” and self sacrifice angst this time

colin dies early - mmmm i cant say much about this bc its based on one throwaway line at the MCM panel where jonny doesn’t mention colin in the main character group. so . death flags.

oiar is containing the entities scp style - this was a super early theory of mine, either this or theyre using them for power or energy in some way. even more heavy handed capitalism metaphors yay

someone gets ushanka’d - its computer horror: the podcast. that’s all

cookbook statement - a few clues in the ARG had to do with cookbooks, and alex and jonny have already said they’re getting weird with the statement formats (they mentioned an insurance report!) so. cookbook doesn’t seem too far-fetched

tiktoker/influencer character - archives was 2010s and they had a podcaster and youtuber, which were like. the big things. whats the hip trend now??? instagram and tiktok baybee

protocol editors va a small role a la mag 100 or the wtgfs cult - those characters were voiced by other rq team members (ie helen as laverne and martyn as robin) and the team has since expanded!! some editors dis stuff for cry havoc, so im guessing nico, annie, april and others will get a small role!

a villain’s goal is creating the philosopher’s stone or other alchemical thing - tmagp is heavily inspired by alchemy, and the philosopher’s stone was the main goal of alchemy!! it would grant you eternal knowledge snd the ability to turn lead into gold- which seems like a good. evil dude’s ambition

the desolation gets more focus - the institute burned down, the oiar crest has a lot of sulfur symbols (the fire element), alchemy as a whole having to do with fire, celia and her connection- it paints a very. lightless flame picture

trip to germany - a lot of the arg was set in and around berlin, and there was that exchange between sam and colin about german in the pilot! i could see a germany trip happening in the same way jon took a trip to china and america.

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #the magnus protocol spoilers #tmagp spoilers

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bts-hyperfixation · 8 months ago

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Outside of the Fox

Chapter 36 of????

1830 words

Y/N longs for a new life when the one she’d been living comes to an abrupt stop. Without much thought to those she is leaving behind, the little fox packs a backpack and disappears. She stumbles across the shelter and makes an interim home for herself while she works out exactly what she wants from her second chance.

Last

You seethe for the entire drive home. Furious at Taehyung's father for forcing him into an arranged marriage, furious at Taehyung for not standing up for himself, and furious at yourself for not trying harder to fight for Taehyung. You know better than anyone how difficult it can be to go against your family's wishes for you. But at least your family thought they were doing what was best for you, Taehyung's family only wanted to save themselves.

It takes all of your energy to try and calm down before you reach home, knowing the moment any of them scented you they would smell your anger and Taehyung's sorrow. You contemplate heading into the main house first to shower, knowing that the builders finished one of the bathrooms last week, but you'd still be stuck in the same clothes so it'd only be dampening the smell, not removing it.

You walk through the side gate to find Yoongi sitting out on the steps to the annexe. He looks up the moment he hears the wrought iron creak. He looks like he hasn't slept the entire night.

"Did something happen?" You ask.

"Yeah, a man I've come to care quite a lot about has suddenly become absent in my life for no discernable reason and on top of that, for some unknown reason, the woman I love stole my car and then stayed out all night without more than a brief text as an explanation,"

He looks at you expectantly, waiting. But you don't have an answer to give him. The news of Taehyung's impending nuptials isn't yours to share, and you can't tell him anything about last night without including that detail. You sit on the step below him and lean your head against his lap.

His hand finds its way into your hair easily. He gently tugs out the tangles you didn't have a chance to brush that morning.

"You don't want to talk about it? Or you can't?" He asks softly.

"It's not my story to tell," You confirm.

The two of you stay there silently for a while, watching the wind blow through the grass. You can tell he wants to push for more information, but he knows better.

Jin finally moves the two of you when he comes home from the night shift. He brings breakfast with him and gives it to Yoongi to set up, insisting that you go and shower before eating. What he didn't clarify before sending you into the bathroom was that he intended to shower with you, insisting on saving the water.

He steps into the basin behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, kissing along your shoulder up to the pulse point under your ear.

"Is there anything I can do to remove that rotting flower undertone to your scent?" He asks before nibbling at your earlobe.

"I don't think so, Jinnie," You admit, leaning back into his touch.

He reaches to the side and takes the soap from the shelf, using it to lather up the both of you. He offers compliments as he goes, making you blush with every word. It does little to soothe the memories of your fight, but it reminds you of the love your partners have for you and one another. If anyone can figure out how to fix Taehyung's problem it's your family.

_____________________

Taehyung sits on his sister's bedroom floor as she dangles with her head off the side of the bed like they would when they were younger. They spent a lot of their formative years here, putting the world to rights. It seemed fitting that they be here again if Eun Jin did in fact have a plan that would save Taehyung from his parent's plan.

"When we were younger, we went to a birthday party for a girl we had never met. Mum and Dad insisted that we attend as it was for the daughter of a very wealthy shareholder within one of their companies. Now, I don't particularly expect you to remember, it was around the time you were permanently drunk. However, that party was for Y/N L/N." Eun Jin explained.

Taehyung listens with rapped attention. His sister is right, he has absolutely no memory of this party. His teen years all blend into one drunken blur when he tries to focus on them. Eun Jin goes on to explain that his father had always intended for their youngest brother to marry into this family, at the time Taehyung had been too much of a screw-up to consider, but Jong Gyu would've been perfect.

However, they had realised that plan wouldn't work as your parents had seemed pretty set on having you marry Romero, despite him being so many years your senior. In fact, after a brief conversation with your parents, it seemed like the idea of setting you up with another hybrid had been laughable to them anyway, so Taehyung's family abandoned that plan completely.

Now, with her parents no longer a factor in her decisions, Eun Jin is under the impression that their family would be willing to accept you as his bride.

Taehyung looks at his sister in shock, struggling to digest all the information he's been given. It seems too simple. Too easy.

To escape his forced marriage all he needs to do is propose to the woman he loves instead? Nothing in his life is ever that simple... Unless it could be.

"Do you really think Father would let me out of the arrangement that easily?" Taehyung asks in disbelief.

"I think it's your best shot." Eun Jin shrugs.

"Then I guess it's a shot I'll have to take."

"Just make sure Mom is also in the room so you can play on the little sympathy she might have for love." Eun Jin reminds him, "Also you should perhaps get your pack onboard first..."

_____________________

For the remainder of his day, Taehyung sits through tedious meetings about wedding details with a fiance who seems roughly as enthused as him. It would seem she would also rather be anywhere else, which would at least make it easier when it came down to telling her the wedding was off. The families must've known neither of them wanted to truly be there as they never gave them even a second to be alone in the same room together

The Hirelys refused to leave until gone 9:00 pm. By that time everyone in Taehyung's family was exhausted. It turned out that while the bride may not have been ecstatic about the wedding, her family was insufferably chipper. They chattered nonstop and couldn't quite tell when they had outstayed their welcome even though the wedding planner had left hours prior.

"See Taehyung-ah... she isn't so bad." His mother commented as they all sat down for their evening tea.

"It doesn't matter either way. Our deal has been struck." His father states.

They all sip their tea silently, shuffling awkwardly in their seats. Eun Jin's gaze darts from Taehyung to their father, urging him to speak. Taehyung pretends not to notice, the tea leaves at the bottom of his cup seeming far more fascinating than anything else in the room.

In theory, Taehyung has spent most of his life standing up to his father. The only problem is that he has ultimately lost every fight, and he isn't sure whether he is prepared to finally lose the battle if his father doesn't agree with the plan they have cooked up.

It seems that Eun Jin doesn't harbour the same fears as she rolls her eyes and takes matters into her own hands.

"Daddy?" She starts, as she always does when she wants something "What if Taehyung-ah found himself a better bride, someone who would boost his reputation just as much, if not more than the girl you found?"

"Oh don't be silly dear." Their Father chastises, "No one of that high a calibre would be stupid enough to go for Taehyung, we are fortunate enough that the Hirelys agreed to this."

"I'm right here," Taehyung grumbles at the put-down, although no one takes any notice of him.

"What if he could marry Y/N L/N?" Eun Jin pushes.

His father audibly snorts into his tea presuming Eun Jin to be joking.

"No one has seen Y/N in months Eun Jin," Taehyung's brother chimes in "You'd never find her, and why would she want to marry Tae any way?"

Taehyung shoots evils at his brother who holds his hands up in defence.

"We've seen her, In fact, we all saw her last night sneaking into Taehyung's bedroom, and this morning when Father yelled at her for being here..."

Their father pales.

"That can't have been her, don't be silly. The girl is a recluse. Her parents told me that after her husband's untimely accident, she moved home, she's been in mourning ever since and refusing to come out, they say she isn't well in the head."

"Her parents are lying!" Taehyung bursts out.

He jumps from his seat and slams a fist on the table. He realises he may have made a mistake when his father matches his actions, a standoff taking place over the table as the two men stare each other down. Taehyung does his best not to flinch away from his father's glare.

"It has been decided Taehyung, you will marry the Hirely girl and you will like it, no more of this hypothetical nonsense. You are a grown man and you will honour the commitment you made."

"No father, you want me to honour the commitment you made not me," Taehyung's voice cracks as he finishes the sentence.

"Taehyung you need to marry, and she really is a lovely girl. You should just accept this match," His mother says trying to comfort him.

"If this is just about me marrying then why can't I choose the partner?" He turns to his mother pleading in his eyes.

"You can't be trusted to pick a suitable match." His father sighs, rubbing his brow in frustration,

"Wouldn't you consider Y/N a suitable match?" Eun Jin asks.

"I might, but there is no way that girl this morning was the real Y/N. And even if she was I'm certain she wouldn't marry Taehyung." Their father scoffed.

"So if we can prove that she is the real Y/N and she says yes you'll consider it?" Taehyung's sister pushes.

"I'll consider it, only because I'm certain this won't work out the way you want it to," Their father agrees.

Taehyung reaches out his hand to shake his father's, knowing that no deal is complete in his father's eyes without it. Begrudgingly the older man meets Taehyung's grasp.

Immediately after they let go, Taehyung reaches for his keys and sprints for the door.

"Where do you think you're going, young man?" His father shouts.

"I'm going home, I have a proposal to figure out!" He shouts back before slamming the door closed behind him."

Masterlist

#bts fic #bts smut #kpop fic #kpop smut #namjoon smut #jungkook smut #jimin smut #taehyung smut #taehyung fic #bts hybrids #hybrid bts #bts x reader #hoseok smut #yoongi smut

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