#i love them both and i hate seeing either of them suffer 😭 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jasntodds · 3 months ago

Text

Penance [7]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 8,230

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, fluff, mentions of death, hurt/comfort, mentions of scars, small description of jason's autopsy scar, smut, 18+ mdni

Summary: ❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞

It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right?

Right?

A/N: It was my birthday a few weeks ago and 2 days later I was in the ER with a bad kidney infection so that's why this is late lol I'm sorry!! lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

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Jason and you patrol together and it feels like old times. You work well together just as you always have and it’s something the both of you really needed. Patrolling with Tim was different because you had to and you couldn’t really do it how you were used to because it was about training Tim and showing him the ropes. But this? This is like it always was, fighting side by side, teaming up and taking turns interrogating people. You stop at Excellent Gotham halfway through and park yourselves by Jason’s favorite gargoyle to eat.

You think tonight is healing parts of you. You felt hopeless before and now you're sitting here with your favorite person as if nothing has really changed. Maybe you don’t need to punish yourself all of the time and maybe this can be good. Maybe you can let yourself heal from everything. If Jason can, don’t you deserve to try?

“Wasn’t too boring tonight, was it?” Jason quips, the both of you back in your street clothes as you stand outside of your apartment building, Jason having rode home with you to make sure you got home safe.

“Eh.” You shrug. “It was alright I guess.” You scrunch your nose at him.

“Alright?!” Jason scoffs. “Bullshit. I’m a fucking trip.”

“You’re something.” You let out a cackle and Jason is relieved to see you look so happy. You looked lost earlier. “Can I ask you something?” You ask.

“What’s up?” Jason shifts his weight to his left leg, resting the helmet on his hip.

“When do you go see Leslie again?” You look down, tugging your sleeves over your hands before your eyes come up to Jason's.

Jason's brows raise slightly before he shrugs. “Uh…few days, why?”

“Can you, uh, a-ask her if she…ya know…maybe I need…to go.”

Jason nods his head with a warm smile. “Yeah, I’ll ask her and give her your number.”

“Thanks, Jay.” You give him a small and shy smile.

“Of course.” Jason smiles softly. “Hate fucking admitting it, but it’s been helping a bit again.”

“Good. I, uh, that’s why I wanna go. Might be for the best.”

“Good. Can’t hurt.” Jason nods his head.

“Yeah.” You smile softly. “Well, I’m gonna head in but thanks for tonight.”

“Do it again?” The corner of Jason's tugs into a hopeful smirk.

“Hell yeah.” You laugh softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You beam before spinning on your heels and entering the apartment building.

A smile is stretched across your face as you make your way up the three flights of stairs to your apartment. No part of you believes going to see Leslie is going to be easy but if she’s helping Jason who literally died, surely she can help you. And it feels really good to finally feel like you and Jason might be falling back into some sort of normal after everything.

You enter your apartment, pressing your back against the door as it shuts behind you. The TV is playing quietly from the living room, the rest of the apartment is dark. You're so stuck on how well the night went, you almost miss the sound of Molly’s voice coming from your living room.

“Molly?” You question, pushing off the door and walking the few feet into the kitchen, looking into the living room thanks to the open concept layout.

Molly is leaning against the arm of the couch holding her phone against her thighs. A wide smile splits her face as Jurassic Park is playing on the TV. Molly is still rambling on about the first time she saw the movie, completely ignoring your presence. You roll your eyes and walk over to the back of the couch, looking at her phone screen.

“Hey.” Gar chimes.

Molly jumps. “When did you get back?” Molly ask.

“Just now?” You question. “Hey, Gar?” Your brows furrow, looking between the two of them.

Nothing going on, sure.

Molly looks at the time on her phone. “Did it go okay? You’re not mad are you?” Molly questions.

“What happened?” Gar asks.

You look between the two of them and maybe nothing is going on but from where you're standing, it definitely looks like it. You aren't even upset about it, but if something is going on, you think it's weird and confusing neither one of them would just say something but you aren't going to push. It's not really your business or your place. So, you decide, you're not even gonna say anything. You'll sit back and see what happens with them.

“Nothing?” You shake your head. “We patrolled together, grabbed some food, and came back.” You shrug your shoulders. “So, I’m gonna shower and head to bed.” You reach over the couch and steal a handful of popcorn from Molly’s bowl. You glance to the TV, watching the water in the cup on the dash of the Jeep start to vibrate. “You guys are missing the best part.” You state as you start walking away. “Get it together, guys.” You make your voice cheery, making sure they know you're joking and you can hear Molly laugh quietly as you enter your room.

You grab your change of clothes before heading to the bathroom and hopping in the shower. Music plays through the bathroom until it's interrupted by a ding from a text. You peek out of the shower just in time to see your phone screen still on with Jason’s contact on your screen. He’s texted you a quick ‘made it home’. You smile to yourself and continue washing your hair while your phone chimes again. This time when you look over, it’s a second text from Jason telling you you should just meet him at his place around noon and you can go to Home Depot together. You roll your eyes but your smile is glued to your lips while you finish your shower.

You take a seat on the toilet seat with a towel draped around your body. You pick up your phone while your stomach bubbles and twists.

You: What? Don’t trust my driving?

Jaybird: No ☠️

You: Fuck you 🔪

Jaybird: I’m really shaking in my boots babe

You: You suck

Jaybird: 🤤

You: 🤮

Jaybird: 🖕

You: Ill see you tomorrow I do like to be chauffeured around

Jaybird: How many times did it take autocorrect to get that word right?

Your jaw drops before you burst out laughing. He’s such an asshole but it did take more than a few tries to get that damn word right and he would know.

You: I will walk over to your apartment and fucking stab you so fucking help me jason todd

Jaybird: You’d have to catch me first babe

You: That a dare?

Jaybird: I dare you

You: Okay

You toss your phone and immediately start getting dressed in sweats. You don’t bother with makeup or anything else. You get the bathroom tidied up before you exit the bathroom, phone in hand before you go for your backpack. Molly is still peaking over the couch on her Facetime call with Gar.

“What’re you doing?” Molly asks.

“Going to stab Jason.” You answer casually while Molly looks to her phone at Gar.

“She’s doing what?”

“He dared me, Gar!” You yell but Molly and Gar can tell by the airiness in your voice it's really not that serious.

“He dared you to stab him?” Molly asks, unsure if she really heard you correctly or if she really wants to any sort of context.

You widen your eyes at her, nodding your head quickly. “Yeah! And I’m not gonna back down. It’s a dare.” You scoff with the furrow of your brows.

“Were they always this weird?” Molly asks Gar.

“Hey!” You yell.

“Yes.” Gar answers with a nod.

“Okay, I’ll be back!” You call with a smile as you kick your shoes on and head out, locking the three locks on your way out.

Jason prepares for you to get there, knowing you take dares seriously. He unlocks the door and shuts every light off in the place. If you want to come for him, he’s not going to make it easy. That ruins the game. It’s silly and he knows but at this point, he doesn’t want to miss even a single opportunity with you. Yes, he shouldn't have wasted a month and a half and neither should you but he’s thinking maybe that was for the best. It did give you both space to start to healing. It gave you both space to start setting up your own lives and finding out who you are today. It seems to have helped and there’s nothing saying you can’t continue while trying to get back what you once had. Optimism is not something that ever came easy to Jason Todd but he’s letting himself feel optimistic about you for just a second.

You pull up to Jason's place, seeing it’s completely dark. At first, it almost scares you, thinking maybe something happened and this is a trap. That would be something that could happen. But, that thought fades quickly because you don’t have that pit in your stomach and Jason would never have played along with anything to endanger you. This is Jason being a shit.

You dig in your bag and pull out your phone, using the flashlight as you enter the building, keeping light on your toes.

“Finally.” Jason's voice rings through the speaker system. “Usual rules?”

This was something you did at the Manor when Bruce was out. You blacked out the entire house, the only light would come from the moon outside. Other than that, it was just you two and a black house trying to locate each other. The only rules were not to permanently injure the other one -- don’t shove each other down the stairs and no lethal weapons. First person to disarm the other wins.

“You’re on, Jay.” You call as you shut your flashlight off, pocketing your phone.

You have your hands at your sides as they start to warm and glow a vibrant shade of green. Your steps are careful, using the glow to guide your feet. Back at the manor, you didn’t even need the light from your hands at one point. You had the whole place memorized from doing this with Jason which did kind of defeat some of the purpose of the blacking out the building but it served enough purpose. Plus, there are more stakes. It has the same premise as Dick’s whole thing with the blindfolds but this is more fun.

Jason is positioned at the end of the hall, carefully listening. He can see the glow of your hands which he said was cheating at first, until he realized he can also find you. He doesn’t need the glowing but it’s definitely not a bad thing to have on his end. So, he stands against the wall, watching and listening to you walk closer. His eyes track you, knowing you’ll search the full hallway before attempting the stairs. A part of him wants to dodge around you and essentially play a weird game of hide and seek but instead, he keeps his feet planted. The idea is to disarm, not to find.

Your hands stop glowing the further down the hallway you get. Jason's brows furrow, still listening to your footsteps. They echo softly no matter how light on your feet you try to be. If you know anything, it’s that Jason likes to play games. He’s going to make finding him easy the first time because that’s the point. And then you’ll have to spar it out until one of you backs off and runs off. He’s done this before so you keep walking with soft feet until you reach the end of the hallway. Jason is like a radiator. He could heat up an entire room if left there long enough so as you stand right in front of him, you can feel the space between you growing warmer.

You strike first, just missing his head as Jason grabs your arm. He spins you around as you kick your leg around his, sending you both to the ground. Jason falls on top of you, barely catching his weight on his hands to not crush you and you don’t miss a beat, crawling from under him only for Jason to grab your ankle and yank you back. Jason hears your laugh through a squeal.

“That’s a fucking ego boost.” Jason laughs with you.

“You’re not scary, sorry, Jay.” You tease, yanking your ankle free.

“Lotta people'd beg to differ." Jason defends as he hears you run off down the hallway.

“Not to me!” You sing-song, your voice echoing off the walls and staircase.

A smile stretches across Jason’s face as he shakes his head. He starts walking after you, not hearing your footsteps anymore and he knows you've hidden yourself behind some sort of corner so he’s careful with his steps.

A large part of him thought the good parts of him died and the pit kept them. It kept them in exchange for his life, maybe that’s just the price he was to pay in order to live. Someone can’t come back to life without sacrificing something. Look at Ra’s. But, over the last few days, he’s learning that may not have been in the case.

His bones still ache and something still feels hauntingly different but the good parts of him are still there. Tim didn’t even blink when Jason showed up in the alley, he was so unbothered by all of Jason’s training methods that even got you to pitch a fit every once in a while. Jason had a good time training Tim and him and you are back to doing this stupid game in the middle of the night with laughter bouncing off of the walls. He’s smiled more the last few days than he has in two months. Maybe the good parts of him aren’t entirely gone. They were just covered in guilt and remorse.

You're tucked away in a corner and you always wonder how Jason manages to be so silent as he walks. You can be quiet but you can’t even tell when he’s moving until it’s almost too late. It’s for his own protection, he’s been doing this longer, but it’s always fascinating to you and it'd be a little scary if you didn't know him. One second he’s down the hall and the next, he’s standing in front of you without ever making a sound. It’s his most intimidating quality.

But you're careful anyway, listening, focusing on your surroundings and then the hairs stand up on the back of your neck with a subtle throb starting to your right. You dodge just as Jason's fist flies through the air and you grab his arm, elbowing the inside of his arm. Jason lets out a groan and you twist it around before Jason laughs.

“It’s cute you think you still stand a chance.”

“I’ve taken you before.” You quip, holding his arm behind his back.

“You’re out of practice.” Jason chuckles, pulling his arm away before he spins back around, going to grab you but you jump back.

“So are you.” You quip.

“You sure?” Jason asks making you nearly scream. He’s right in front of you now and you didn’t feel him that time. His breath is fanning over your face and without needing to see him, you can tell he’s smirking, cheeks probably that pretty shade of pink.

“Uh-huh.” Your voice catches in your throat.

“Right.” Jason gives you this chuckle that makes you want to kiss the smirk off of his face but you know you can’t very well do that now so instead, you make your move.

You quickly slide to the right before kicking his feet from under him. Jason lands on a knee and he swipes his leg across the floor, knocking you down just as you try to run off. It’s Jason’s turn to get to his feet and find a new spot.

The two of you go back and forth like this and it’s different this time. Usually, you spar hard and you both make solid efforts to disarm the other but this time, you’re spending a lot of time hiding and running. It wasn’t so much intentional at first from either of you but the more you do it, the more you realize this is just more time to spend together. Tomorrow comes eventually and tomorrow always has some sort of surprise in it. Tonight, you don’t wanna worry about that. You spend your time in the dark, finding each other and going back forth with fists and quips.

Two hours in, Jason is hiding out on the landing of the first staircase, tucked away in the corner. The window is two feet away from him, the city lights cascading through the pains and onto the wood flooring. His eyes stay trained in front of him, hearing you from downstairs walking around. You've been looking for a few minutes and Jason is wondering if you’ll give up. And then he hears a smack and a groan from down the stairs. Jason has to stifle his own laugh, far nicer than you who burst out laughing when Jason hit the doorframe. You seem to recover okay, your steps picking up a few seconds later and he can hear you ascending the staircase.

Your steps stop right at the top.

You roll your eyes and you know damn well Jason is right behind the light of the window. He’ll be able to see you before you can see him. And if you know anything about him, you know he’s standing right in the corner, right foot lifted and pressed against the wall with his arms crossed and that stupid smirk on his lips. This game was never very fair from your perspective. You've never won. Jason’s senses have always been better, Bruce trained him well. As much as you hate the thought. You let out a sigh, take two steps forward and stand directly in the light, a taunt telling Jason to get it over with.

Jason pushes off the wall with his right foot and makes his move but he’s cautious. You do not give up, especially to him when there’s a game like this in play. He strikes first, you block him in an instant, using the light to drag him from the shadows and you get him with your knee right in his side. Jason doesn’t even flinch, throwing another hit, this time hitting you on your side. The two go back and forth, breathing turning heavy as you use the city lights to your advantage. But, it’s Jason who gets the upper hand as he almost always does, grabbing both of your wrists as you use one to try to punch him and the other to block his hands. His grip is tight and unwavering.

Jason’s chest is nearly touching yours as you look up at him. There’s a devious gleam you can make out even in the low light, the corners of his mouth perked into a subtle smirk. Your heart jumps into your throat.

“Giving up so quick?” Jason questions.

“No.” You let out a soft pout but you aren’t fighting him.

Jason can feel his heartbeat on his tongue. His grip loosens on your wrists but he doesn’t let go. Instead, his thumb rubs your skin softly, not even realizing he’s doing it. It’s been hours and he’s been having a blast and he knows she is, too. For the life of him, he can’t figure out why you both let time go by. He does know why, because it all hurt but maybe it was just getting over the hump of it all. He thinks it must be just as hard for you to overcome as it is for him. But, you both always seemed to be able to cope better around each other. It’s the understanding of every action and word that leaves your lips. The feeling that you’ll both never be alone.

Jason nods once. “Not trying very hard.” Jason whispers softly.

Last night felt so good and cathartic. Maybe you just want to live in another one of those moments for a few minutes.

“You’ll just tighten your grip.” You whisper back, watching a cheeky smirk grow on his lips.

“Doesn’t seem to bother you much.” Jason quips and his eyes glance to your lips.

What if he kisses you anyway? Just one more time. Then you can do this friend thing with the game and the banter. What if he kisses you anyway?

“No.” You answer back, glancing to his lips.

What if you kiss him? Just one more time and then you can do the whole friend like you did before. What if you kiss him?

“How’re you gonna get out of this then?” Jason quips.

Fuck it.

You lunge forward, your lips connecting with Jason’s. He groans and immediately drops your wrists as his hands come to your cheeks, pulling you closer to him. Jason melts right into you, nearly exploding at the seams with the very thought you were thinking the same thing he was.

His mouth moves with yours and you push forward until Jason’s back hits the wall. Jason grabs your hips, turning you both around so your back is pinned against the wall. He kisses down your neck, nipping and biting at the flesh. Your heartbeat skyrockets as your hand tangles into his messy hair. Your eyes are closed as a soft moan escapes your lips. Jason bites down, sucking a mark into your skin.

You pull his head back to your lips, the kiss turning sloppy and wet. Jason slides his hands under your thighs, picking you up to pin you against the wall as his knee slots into between your legs. His thigh hits just the right spot making you let out a moan into his mouth immediately followed by a groan.

You pull his hair back, getting a pretty groan from Jason before you go to his neck, leaving your own purple mark. Jason holds your hips helping you grind down against his thigh. The sound of your desperate gasps makes him want to lose his mind. He wants to surrender all control he has ever had and forget anything bad ever happened. His head is lust drunk and all he wants is you. His bulge is growing and throbbing through his sweatpants, desperately wanting free.

You feel yourself growing closer and wetter but more desperate. There’s not quite enough friction and he knows it. He knows this only ever gets you teetering on the edge but it’s never quite enough. He knows exactly what he’s doing and you want to bite him. Your pussy throbs and aches for something to fill you up.

“Jay.” You pant desperately into his mouth.

He fucking snickers.

And stills your hips.

“Jay.” Your brows pinch together as if you're in pain.

“What’s that?”Jason teases.

“Fuck. You.” You nod your head, trying to move your hips but his grip keeps you steady.

Jason leans forward, nipping up your neck making you whine. He can feel your pulse against his lips as he kisses his way up to your cheek. You feel him grin against your skin and you think your skin might set the both of you on fire.

“Say please.” Jason mocks you, whispering in your ear, his voice deep and graveled.

You think you've melted into the palms of his hands.

Jason loosens his grip slightly, allowing you to get some friction for just a few seconds before stilling your hips.

“Didn't hear ya, babe?” Jason’s eyes lock on yours with the quick raise of his brows, using all of his self-control not to cave himself.

There's a sliver of you that wants to push him, see who can actually outlast the other because you know it'll be him begging for you in about ten minutes. But, your head is swimming and your body is erupting in goosebumps. The desperation of wanting him all over you makes you lose every other thought that was once there.

You kiss him, keeping your lips close to his, pulling away just enough to speak. “Please.”

Jason doesn’t waste a single second to dropping his knee as his lips connect back with yours.

Jason pulls you with him, his back towards the second set of stairs as you both walk up them, unsteadily with your lips connected. Once you’re up the stairs, Jason is grabbing the hem of your hoodie, tugging it over you and tossing it on the floor. Jason’s hoodie is next, tossed somewhere in the dark hallway. By the time you reach Jason’s room, he’s tugging your top off and tossing it to the floor.

It’s all hasty and hot, desperate and needy as Jason pulls you to his bed. He lands on top of you, catching you to mind your fall and your hands are under his shirt. They’re warm and soft. They make him feel whole again.

The words ‘i need you’ circle his brain but never quite make it out. He needs you like he needs air. You're the breath of fresh air on the first day of spring. It’s the first day the air doesn’t hurt his lungs. You taste how the word cathartic sounds. He needs you like he needs the oxygen in his lungs.

You scratch up his back and Jason arches his back right into you. His head spins. His lips trail down to your cheek and then your neck. He leaves a second mark in his wake and your head falls fuzzy. You aren’t even entirely sure you're even here anymore. All you know is that you want him and your skin is on fire. You can’t form a single coherent thought as Jason makes his way down to your collarbone, leaving yet another mark. All you can think about his him. His mouth and his the way his teeth graze over your skin, how warm his hand is as it trails up to your breast. All you can think about is the pretty moans and groans that leave his lips as you claw his back again. You've turned to mush all over again.

He presses some kisses around where your braw cuts off, just enough to tease you before he comes back up, kissing your lips. And all you know for certain is how badly you need him. You need him today and tomorrow and every day after. Every moment with him is worth every bit of pain and agony. Every moment without him is boring and lackluster. Jason walks into a room and it’s like a color bomb explodes through the room. His laugh could light up the darkest of hallways and his eyes are the prettiest shade of green, they could convert anyway to love the color. Breathing is easier whenever he's around.

Your hands go to the hem of his shirt and try to tug it off of his head but Jason stops you, shooting up immediately. Your high immediately vanishes seeing the look of panic spread over his feature. Jason’s head comes back, still spinning but down in panic and his chest heaves. What’s he supposed to do?

“I-I’m sorry.” You shake your head, leaning up on your elbows. “I-, uh, I thought…well…I…I should have asked--”

“No.” Jason shakes his head, looking down then back to you. “It’s not…that.” Jason nearly chokes on his own words.

“What’s wrong, Jay?” Your brows tug together and even though you're the one half-naked, he’s the one feeling exposed.

Jason’s teeth grind together and he didn’t really think this far ahead. His mind was clouded with the thought of you and the desire to just have one more fucking night. His mind was clouded with the idea of chasing the feeling you shared just a few months ago. He didn’t think about this step. This part of the whole sex thing. You don’t care. You never care about scars but it hurts him.

Jason clears his throat as he brings his hands back to your hips, watching your chest quickly rise and fall with every breath. He's running through everything he could say. How is he supposed to tell you he has a thick, protruding scar from his collarbones all the way down his abdomen? That can't possibly be some sort of turn on and if anything, he's almost certain it'll send you into a spiral because it nearly does to him every damn day he looks at it. What's he supposed to say? What's he supposed to say without making you feel worse or feel like you need to push to make sure he's okay?

What's he supposed to say in order to keep this moment intact without it being just another moment tainted by painful memories?

“We can just keep doing this. Um…I-I don’t mind…if you don’t.” You try to pull in a breath. The guilt chews at your stomach. “I, uh, I don’t—“

“Y/n.” Jason cuts you off, not wanting you to spiral. “It's not that, I fucking swear.” Jason squeezes your hips and his brows twitch up with reassurance. He's just not sure if he's ready to reveal that part to you. It makes him feel guilty. He's supposed to be able to share everything with you but the shame eats at him. “I want to.” He clarifies, earning a nod from you. “It’s just…” His eyes go distant for a second before coming back to yours. “Stays on.”

You offer him a large nod and you thought it was odd he turned around before to change. Jason has never been very modest about anything ever. He has worked very hard for his chest and abs and he doesn’t mind showing off a bit, especially in front of you because he’s still a shithead. But, last night he didn’t and sitting here now, you're putting the pieces together while a piece of your heart breaks for him.

“I, uh…I know.” You nod softly, pushing yourself up to sit up fully.

Jason sits on his knees, his knees on either side of your legs.

You can't know.

“What?” Jason’s brows tug together.

“The night Crane kidnapped you, you, uh, you couldn’t get out of your gear so I had to help you.” You offer him a soft shrug. “So, uh…I just want you to know that I already know. It’s completely fine, I get it, but I wanted you to know that I already knew.”

Jason can feel his throat wanting to close and his world feels like it's closing in on him. It feels like a nightmare. He doesn't want you to know. It's embarrassing.

“You saw it?!” Jason’s voice cracks as his cheeks burn a vibrant red as he bites his own tongue to try and hide and his shame.

You nod again. “Yeah. You, uh, you were really high and I figured it would not be something you would want brought up.”

Jason shakes his head looking down. He feels tainted, ruined, a mess of broken and damaged pieces piled on the floor to be discarded and forgotten about. He's not even sure what's worse. The fact you knew and then never said anything or the fact he didn't even get a chance to make peace with it before he told you. He hates it so fucking much and it just makes him feel like the biggest failure there is. What more proof does anyone really need? He failed at being Robin, failed at taking down the Joker, failed at being a good son, failed at being a good boyfriend, he even failed at staying dead. It's just embarrassing and shameful.

You can see the gears in his head working overtime. He's going to spiral and the scar doesn't mean shit to you. Your entire back is riddled with them. Any one of those could have caused massive bleeding and killed you. The way you see it, his scars were better because most of them were just part of the job. He got them putting himself in danger for the greater good.

"I don't care, ya know?" You state with the raise of your brows and all Jason does is shake his head. "I don't fucking care about it, Jay. I know you do. Whatever the fuck you're thinking about it, you're wrong." You rest a hand on his cheek. "You don't have to take your shirt off around me if you don't want to. I get it."

"I fucking hate it." Jason states, taking your hand in his, his fingers delicate over your skin. He uses both hands to rub circles into your palm, massaging the muscles.

"For what it's worth," You let out a breath. "I don't. I don't care and I don't mind. That shit doesn't matter to me, Jay."

"I know." Jason nods his head because he knows you don't. It's something in his own head. It's just really difficult to move on from.

"So, whatever you wanna do, I don't mind." You offer him a tender smile.

Jason lets out a breath. “Thank you.” Jason says back. “Did you know? That Bruce had it done?”

“Yeah.” You pull in a breath, biting back your bitterness for Bruce. “He didn’t say why though I was screaming at him when I found out so he didn’t have much chance, I guess.”

Jason lets out a quiet but sad chuckle because even in death, you will fight tooth and nail for him. “You were screaming at him for it?”

“Well, yeah, I thought it was pointless. I figure it’s just legal reasons, maybe.” You shrug. “But I didn’t wanna hear it then.” You chuckle softly. “So, yeah, I uh, I knew he did and I knew the Pit didn’t take it away.”

It's something he's going to need to find a way to make terms with but at least, you're understanding about it. He wishes he had the opportunity to tell you himself but...he's thinking maybe this was easier. You've known and never batted an eye or said a word about it. Maybe he doesn't have to feel all that shame and embarrassment around you.

“White hair, kept all of my scars, and got the one my chest.” Jason lets out a scoff.

“Least it fixed your face.” You quip back with a cheeky smile in hopes it'll help cheer him up a bit.

You see the flash of something kind and cheeky cross over his face.

Jason drops your hand, leaning in. “What’s wrong with my face, huh?” The corner of his mouth perks into a grin and you always have a way to make him feel better about anything and everything.

Your name might as well be synonymous with catharsis.

“Did you want a list?” You raise with a smirk as you tilt your head to the right.

Jason lets out a laugh. “Fuck you.” Jason shakes his head at you and his eyes go to your lips before traveling back up to your eyes.

“Say please.” You lean in closer to him, brushing your nose against his.

Jason shakes his head, bursting at the seams with a devilish grin. His hand comes up to your cheek before he kisses you, pushing the both of you down to the bed.

“Please.” Jason nearly growls into your mouth.

Jason leans up and tugs his shirt off quickly before coming right back to your lips. Your hands tangle in his hair and give the strands a light tug. You push on his shoulder, signaling for him to roll over. You get on top before you trail down and press kisses to his cheek and then to his neck, leaving your second mark of the night.

The words ‘i love you’ bounce around Jason’s head like a pinball in a pinball machine. He’s so in love with you he thinks he might have lost all of his sanity. He did not know it was possible to feel so strongly for another person but he does. And he wants to live here forever. You make him better and he is so certain of that if not for everything that has happened but the reason that Jason doesn’t want to self-sabotage with you. It’s not worth it. You’ll fight and make up and it’ll have been for nothing. All it would do is hurt the both of you and haven’t you both been hurt enough?

You can feel Jason's hardening bulge beneath you. Without breaking the kiss, you slide your fingers into the waistband of his pants, helping him tug them down. Jason sits up, helping you get the rest of his clothes off before he flips the two of you so you're back on your back. You let out a laugh just as you always did and Jason thinks he'd never grow tired of it.

Your hands are in his hair and he can feel you smiling against his lips despite the haste of your kiss. Jason slides his hand under your back, undoing your bra before he helps you get off. His hand goes right to your right breast, pinching your nipple between his thumb and finger. You moan into his mouth as your head starts to go fuzzy all over again. You squirm under him and a grin comes to Jason's lips.

You snake your hand to his cock, wrapping your fingers around the shaft before you start pumping him slowly. Jason's mouth opens against you as his hips stutter for just a second. You start moving your arm faster and Jason's mouth trails back down to your neck. His teeth graze the skin and you think you'd let him mark every part of your body without ever putting a thought into it.

He sucks a mark into your neck.

And then another.

And another leading down the scar on your shoulder from the bullet wound.

He stops there, switching to a kiss and your stomach twists while your brain starts to turn to goo. He presses kisses back up to your lips and you're squirming under his touch as you can feel yourself growing wetter by the second.

"Condom." You mutter against his lips before removing your hand from his cock, precum leaking from the tip.

Jason wastes no time in reaching for his nightstand to tug out a condom. You're already stripping the rest of your clothes by the time Jason has the package in his hand.

Jason smirks down at you. "Not wasting any time, huh?"

You shrug, almost taunting him as you keep your eyes locked on his, careful not to look down at the scar. "Been a while."

Jason chuckles as heat runs over his neck. "Having withdrawal?"

"I could just do it myself." You quip back.

"Can I watch?" Jason questions and a part of you thinks he's serious.

You roll your eyes. "Maybe next time."

Jason has to clear his throat as his cock twitches with the remark. "Hold you to it." Jason mutters as he finally gets the wrapper open.

"Then I get to watch you."

Jason's eyes flash over to you as his stomach drops and spins. "Whatever you want, princess." Jason finally gets the condom on and you pull him back down to you.

His lips connect with yours, hot and fast at first, hungry as if he hasn't eaten in a month. His cock is lined up with your soaking pussy but the kiss slows and deepens. Jason's hand trails down your right thigh, delicate fingers running over your skin as goosebumps erupt over your body. You run a hand down his shoulder and to his arm, his bicep twitches under your touch.

Jason is warm and sturdy, an unwavering force that you find yourself so intertwined with, you really aren't sure how you've managed to live so much of your life without him. It always feels like he's meant to be around you like someone out there made him just for you and you were made just for him. In some ways, that's scary and feels like a big responsibility, but in others, it's comforting. It's the reassurance that it's just you and him in the end of it all. You'll get there one day. That's how it's supposed to be.

Jason pulls away, resting his forehead against yours before he starts sliding his cock into your aching pussy. The pit in your stomach grows as you start to see stars. Jason's eyes are shut and he's thinking he's left this whole plane of existence. He sinks into you slow and steady until he bottoms out.

His eyes open, locking on yours. Your fingers are lightly running up his arm and the words of 'i love you' almost spill from his lips like an overflowing cup of water. His nose brushes yours and he almost says it. He doesn't want to scare you away with piling too much on you at once. Last night and the scar tonight, he knows you're worried the Titans.

He'll tell you later.

Instead, Jason settles for something with the same meaning.

Your eyes close and the words of 'i love you' almost escape your lips like an easy breath. You brush your nose with his and you almost say it. Jason has been through a lot. You don't want to add to it, not right now. You don't want to add more pressure if he can't say it back yet. You don't want to scare him off.

You'll tell him later.

Instead, you settle for something with the same meaning.

"You and me." Jason whispers to you as he goes to kiss your cheek.

A tender smile pulls at your lips as your heart stutters in your chest. "You and me."

A smile rips through Jason's lips as his heart feels like it's just burst through his ribcage.

Jason pulls out and pushes back in, just as slow this time before he starts picking up the pace. Your mind starts swimming with his quick movements. His mouth is on yours again and you can barely keep up. Your mind is flooded with how full he's making you as your pussy clenches around him.

You try to form words, anything to tell him to keep going but nothing can form quite right, giving Jason the ego boost he doesn't exactly need. He gets the idea and doesn't lighten up. His hand grips your thigh, tugging your leg up near his hip. With the new angle, he's tapping the patch of nerves inside of you. You gasp against him, your nails digging into his back.

"J-Jay." You nearly whine into his mouth and Jason nearly finishes right there with the first word you're able to get out being his name.

"Hmm?" He hums, trying to hold his composure. "Gotta speak up, babe." Jason teases.

"H-harder." You get out.

Jason grins wickedly against your lips, doing as you asked but only for a few thrusts before he stops entirely. "Like that?"

Your eyes shoot open, pupils blow with desperation and lust. "Please."

You don't have to ask again.

Jason thrusts his hips harder and faster than before. You groan louder below him almost immediately. Your pussy is clenching around him more and more and he can tell you're getting close. He slides a hand between you, rubbing tight circles around your clit. You nearly scream with the new sensation.

You grip his hair and pull his neck closer to you just as Jason gets you to reach your high. You let out a mixed whine and moan of his name before you bite down where his shoulder meets his neck, desperately trying not to scream. Tears prick your eyes as your stomach tightens and your whole body shakes and twitches beneath Jason.

It takes everything in him not to lose himself until you're finally finished, panting below him. His hips stall against you as his head hangs in the cook of your neck, his cock twitching as he shoots his load into the condom.

Jason leans up, chest heaving and he places a kiss to your cheek and then your forehead before he rolls off of you to dispose of the condom in his bathroom.

You sit up, wrapping the blanket around you with your chest still heaving and you give Jason a tender smile as he walks back towards the bed. He grabs his clothes as you watch him and you're getting your first full view of the scar. It doesn't bother you but you understand why it bothers him. Seeing it in full, it's a harsh scar, not something that looks like it'll even fade. You think if it were you, it'd bother you, too.

Jason makes his way back to the bed, plopping back down before he leans against the pillow. His eyes are still lustblown as he gives you a soft and tired smile, and you think his eyes are filled with something you became so accustomed to. Your hand goes to his hair, brushing the white streaks away from his face. Jason’s hand grabs your hand before bringing your palm to his lips and he presses tender kisses over your hand.

“For the record,” You start as Jsaon places your hand back down. “I don’t care what scars you come home with.” You say so easily and your word choice doesn’t go unnoticed by Jason. “I know you do but I don’t…” You pause, chewing the inside of your cheek. “Just as long as you come home.” You nod a few times as your brows pinch together.

Jason sits up, his face coming just a few inches from yours. “I’m sorry I didn’t.” His voice is rough and this is a different apology than the one you got on the roof. The one you got at his safe house. There are no stakes in the apology.

“It’s not your fault.” You place a hand on his cheek and Jason leans into it. "I forgive you anyway, though."

He still wonders how you were ever able to bear it. Despite his general feeling of self-doubt and self-loathing, he knows your feelings have always been very real for him. You didn’t cope, that he knows for certain and he’s not entirely sure if you ever will. It’s something you have to make peace with just as much as he does. And he thinks about how maybe that’s an important part of you both moving forward. You forgive him for some reason but Jason doesn’t think you've accepted it yet. A part of him has, it happened to him and he’s alive. He went through it. One second, your world is moving at a steady pace and the next it’s halted, suddenly stopped with no warning and then it’s thrown in the other direction. It sounds more like whiplash. So, Jason wonders if you’ll ever hit the acceptance stage. He wonders how you were ever able to bear any of it. He knows for certain if it were him, he’d never be able to.

Your eyes are soft and tired and there’s the tiniest, adoring smile on your lips. A look Jason is privileged enough to be the only one to receive. And he thinks about he’d never be able to bear the loss of you. It rips him to shreds. It would take all of the remaining good parts of him and shatter them. He’d never recover if something happened to you. Even if it's beyond his control. It’s terrifying feeling that way about another person.

Jason nods against you before he presses a kiss to the palm of your hand. “Yeah…” He lets out a breath. “Thanks for sticking around.”

“Thanks for letting me.” You smile softly. "You and me?"

Jason offers the same smile back. "You and me." Jason confirms. “You still gonna talk to Leslie?” Jason asks as you pull your hand away.

You nod softly. “Yeah. If she has anything open.”

Jason gives you a soft smile. “Good.” He nods softly. He sits back up all the way, looking to his doorway. “Gonna grab your clothes.” Jason chuckles softly, tossing his shirt over his head before he gets up.

You watch Jason disappear through the doorway and you're quick to grab his pillow, checking to see if he’s replaced the knife with a gun. Your chest warms with the sight of your blue switchblade still locked and lying under his pillow. It’s a relief he hasn’t put the gun back. Your thoughts are jolted as fabric hits your face.

“Hey!” You yell through a laugh, your clothes falling into your lap.

“Fucking nosey ass.” Jason nods his head at you, making his way back to the bed with his hoodie in hand.

“You’re an interesting person to be nosey about.” You shrug as you get the blanket off of your shoulders. You can feel the tiredness weighing on your bones and you know if you don't head home soon, you'll end up staying here. As much as you really want to, you do not want to overstay your welcome. “Well,” You sigh as you tug your shirt over your head. “I should probably head home.” You laugh softly, seeing the orange light of sunrise seeping through Jason’s window.

“Guess so.” Jason nearly pouts at the thought. He never wants you to leave but he doesn't want you to feel obligated to always stay just because you're here late. You'll be back here later anyway. “Still gonna help me today?” Jason’s eyes are hopeful and big.

“Of course.” You laugh softly, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. “I’ll just sleep for a few hours and how about we like one?” You ask. “We’ll both be out of it if we don’t get some sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright.” Jason says in agreement. “Want an escort home?” He asks but you can tell by the way he raises of his brows and the way he's already moving to get up, it's not really an offer. He's going to do it anyway.

“Thank you.” You stand up, putting the rest of your clothes on. "Just get some sleep when you get back, okay?"

Jason nods with a grin. "Of course. Gotta be well-rested hanging out with you."

"I can not help you." You quip as you grab your bag.

"Sorry." Jason lets out a chuckle.

"Let's just go." Your eyes widen at him to tease him before Jason gestures towards the door for you to lead the way.

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Tag List: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai //

@makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out //

@velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmesss // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 //

@stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash //

@xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased //

@scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @urmomsgayforme5 //

@septixtrash // @kplatzman // @killxz // @lovefks // @laurelthesimp //

@strawberryforks // @mxtokko // @kolpvii // @adorabluesposts // @jasontoddthings //

@bbiaa420 // @todorokiskitten // @krishavania

#jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #red hood x reader #red hood x you #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #dc fanfic #dc fanfiction #penace

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cinnbar-bun · 6 months ago

Note

I.. I have an request 🥹

Plsplspls there's so little content of my boy Kakyoin, I need to see something of him!! Specifically some relationship headcanons, he's just my sweetheart my little boy 😭 (this anon suffers too much already)

You got it bestie Kakyoin deserves the best!!! Please enjoy <3

Kakyoin Relationship Headcanons

Rating: SFW

Word Count: ~1.2k

Notes: GN!Reader, minor callbacks to Kakyoin's backstory, no spoilers for Part 3, just fluff for a majority of it.

AO3 link here!

Taglist (if you wish to be added, please fill out the form in my pinned!): @child-ofdust, @gingernut1314, @adeadcreator, @starr-l1ghtt

A quiet but honorable type of partner who would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.

While not fully like one, he behaves like a gentleman a majority of the time and will easily throw himself in harm’s way to protect you, should the need arise.

Kakyoin is the type of guy who wants both him and you to aspire to be better people within the relationship. He’s a tolerant and patient man when it comes to you, more so than he would normally be with say… Polnareff or the others.

But he’s a bit rough around the edges in certain areas. Not for the lack of trying, by the way, but given his isolation and hesitance to be around people when he was younger, he can sometimes fumble the delivery of certain topics and come off a bit harsh.

It’s very well-known that he hates brownnosing and lying to others for the sake of ego, so while his tolerance for you is higher than he would give the average person, he won’t hesitate to tell you if you may be doing something wrong. He believes that as your partner, you two should want each other to grow and be better. He won’t lie to you if he believes whatever you’re doing will only hurt you in the future or will cause extra stress.

Kakyoin does his best to never be rude or too hurtful in those moments. He will often gently take you aside and tell it to you straight with his usual calm demeanor. He does have trouble showing tons of affection, but this is one of the ways his care for you manifests. He really does prioritize your moral and physical well-being and so when he sits with you about those topics, he’s really showing off the fact he does intend on being with you for the long haul.

Kakyoin is simultaneously one of the best and worst communicators out there. A majority of the time, he will be able to calmly express himself to you without worry. But when he’s frazzled or particularly flustered and prideful, he can become a mess. In the times when he’s off his game, he tends to bottle his emotions until they come out, or he’ll say one thing and do the opposite.

When it comes to you, this tends to manifest from either a fear of you getting hurt (if you were close to that during a battle/actually did get hurt) or his pride taking somewhat of a hit if someone else may be getting a bit too close to you/making you happy.

Okay, yeah, Kakyoin admittedly tries to not show this too much, but he can be the jealous type when pushed hard enough. His frustration is never directed at you because he trusts you, but if someone is pushing their luck with you, he tends to get upset with them.

In his head he’s like… “I’m their partner, not you. You need to back the hell off.��

But a smile from you will honestly cure that jealousy and he’ll relax knowing you’ll choose him every time. It’s nice knowing he’s got someone in his corner who’s just as devoted to him as he is to you.

He’s not used to being in such a close and intimate relationship with someone, so he does sometimes feel that his own weakness could make you more suited for others, but his pride wants him to be the best type of man for you.

So while Kakyoin can mess up and show off that weakness with poor communication sometimes, he always tries to rectify that. He will never let you forget how much he loves and adores you, never.

You are truly the safest space he has in the world, and the one he feels is his true ‘home’. He considers you an equal and he will often let himself act out of character if it is for your sake (a rare feat that he’d never do for others). That’s a privilege you have over everyone else, and he willingly lets you have that hold over him as a sign of his trust and devotion to you.

He tends to show his care through more of his actions than his words. He will say the sweetest things, of course, but his actions truly show how methodical and full of love he is for you.

They tend to be more subtle actions, such as buying you your favorite food/treat and offering it to you, removing any things you may hate on your food, squashing all bugs within an area so you two can peacefully walk together, and carefully maneuvering you so you don’t trip while talking.

Some of the Crusaders (mostly Joseph) like to joke how you get preferential and kinder treatment from Kakyoin than they do, but Kakyoin will shrug and continue on.

“Isn’t that obvious why I would? They’re my lover, it’s only natural they’d be my first priority.”

Not super into PDA beyond maybe holding hands in public. Although if pushed into jealousy, he will ask if he can kiss in you in public.

But in the privacy of home/a room/wherever there is not many eyes, he likes to hold you close and just quietly have you rest against his chest. He likes the feeling of having you there as a reminder that you are real and with him. It also makes him feel like a strong protector for you, which he happens to like a lot.

Not required but he does find it cute if you talk a lot during those moments. He’d get this adoring look in his eyes as you chat about any and everything. Hearing your voice instantly soothes him and makes his heart swell.

Since he’s got a big love for video games, he likes to play them with you. He often goes out of his way to find more multiplayer games so he can spend some quality gaming time with you. He can get pretty competitive with you and you two make fun games/bets out of it.

If you’re not good at video games or prefer to watch, he’s happy to just do a playthrough for you. The way he will talk your ear off about the secret tricks to do in Super Mario Bros 3 or what he will do in Final Fantasy is the cutest thing ever. Come on, how can you resist him being so excited? How can you look at a happy Kakyoin and not instantly melt?

Last but not least, Kakyoin will always try to include you in everything he does/will do. He knows how it is to be lonely, but since you’re his partner, he’d hate to feel as if he is pushing you aside or making you feel left out. He’s attentive in making sure you are having a good time and aren’t in the sidelines (or, if you don’t mind, he’d be waiting on the sidelines with you).

#x reader #reader insert #jjba #jojo #noriaki kakyoin #noriaki kakyoin x reader #jojo kakyoin #kakyoin x reader #kakyoin noriaki #jjba x reader #jojo x reader #jojos bizarre adventure

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rougepancake · 2 years ago

Note

Domestic mitsuri x shinbou x fem reader HCS! (Could be nsfw or sfw whatever works for u!)

DATE NIGHT

What it’s like to date them

Sfw & nsfw hcs (mixed together I am so sorry I wasn’t thinking 😭)

Ft. Shinobu Kocho and Mitsuri Kanroji

Warnings: Some suggestive material under cut but nothing too bad. Modern au. Had a blast writing this tsym anon 😩

SHINOBU KOCHO

If you’re taller than her then have fun. She’ll look up at you and KICK YOUR ASS for simply being tall

If you’re shorter than her you’ll get pampered because she feels the need to rub it in

She’s definitely into quality time and physical touch all the way. Since she doesn’t tend to vocalize how she’s feeling, these kind of make up for it 😉

Is definitely the type of gal to book mani pedis for you two as a date as well as go and get your hair dyed together

Unlike Mitsuri, she isn’t clingy and trusts you quite a lot. She knows that no one else can eat you out as good as she can, and it kills you every time she mentions it

SPEAKING OF MENTIONING IT

She’ll openly dirty talk you in public with no shame whatsoever. In fact, she’s brutal

Won’t even stop if you offer to pay her

Has no regrets because she loves seeing you all flustered and cute like that

If she spends the night at your place BE PREPARED

She cuddles in her sleep and DENIES IT TO DEATH

Also enjoys showering/bathing together but not in a sexual way. She believes that it’s a good way to spend time together and just bond as a couple

HERE COMES THE QUALITY TIME AGAIN RAHHHH

It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, when you’re doing it, or how long it’ll take you, she will find a way to join and/or help you out

Unless you’re complaining about it

Then she’ll sit and watch you suffer 😔

All in all, she’s the type of woman to definitely wind up in a relationship with the “best friends” dynamic

You have a lot of fun together and she wouldn’t want it any other way

MITSURI KANROJI

SHE LOVES TO GO ON ADVENTURES

That’s how you spend a lot of your time together (post/during your relationship)

Her love languages are receiving gifts and words of affirmation

If you say you can’t do it think again!! You’ll wholeheartedly believe you can by the time she’s done with you!!!!

Loves to go out and try new things!! She’ll try anything once and definitely lives with the yolo mindset

Her ideal date is going out on a hike or trying a new restaurant. Either is fine for her as long as you’re down for the ride

Since she’ll try anything once, your time alone is fairly interesting. In the sense of you’ll bring something up and she’ll say yes without a second thought

Prefers to keep what happens in the bedroom between you and her. HATES public humiliation going both ways because she feels guilty afterwards

Since one of her love languages is receiving gifts, she loves to show up with random trinkets and such that she’s found

“Oh here you go Y/n! This shiny rock made me think of you!!”

Stuff like that

It’s honestly so sweet

She was once a hopeless romantic, and now that she has you, she’s a bit worried that you might just up and vanish one day, so she has a tendency to be a little clingy

That’s okay though cause you love it

(She also enjoys cooking for you quite a bit but is quite embarrassed to admit it since her cooking skills are questionable)

Also enjoys watching movies with you and ‘accidentally’ falling asleep on your lap

She enjoys romantic cliches (even if they’re stupid)

You guys were definitely close friends before you started dating, so you’ve got that ‘we know each other better than our own parents’ type of vibe

Let’s just say you’re incredibly grateful that you wound up meeting her 😩

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aayakashii · 2 months ago

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hihi! I absolutely love ur hcs and fics!! (I may or may not have downloaded Tumblr just from your fics on AO3 👉👈)

anyways- I wanted to ask if you have any hcs for unlikely friendships among the ghouls? Like maybe Lyca and Mido would get along well, or Leo and Rui?

also do you have any hcs for Towa's flower nicknames for the other ghouls? (Like how he calls MC "dandelion", Edward "Rafflesia", etc)

OH MY GOD??????????? this is literally the sweetest ask I have ever gotten seriously seriously thank you so much for liking my fics AND DOWNLOADING TUMBLR BECAUSE OF THEM??? OMG 😭 THIS IS SURREAL...... I hope we get to interact a lot more here now!!!! >:3

Now now about your request, it's actually something I've never thought about!!

Off the top of my head, I think these are some good friends:

Haru and Tohma: two tired men who work a lot and bond because of their exhaustion 🤝 Haru could go to the vault whenever he is suffering from heat exhaustion after spending too much time under the sun and Tohma could take his walks around Jabberwock’s fields! Mutual benefits!

Lyca, Kaito and Luca: @ghoulspaw had the great idea that Kaito and Luca would be the best boys to play with Lyca >:3 and I think they'd be quite understanding (Kaito would take a while to warm up to him because he's a wuss) and Luca could help Lyca with his studies!!!

Alan and Lyca: I promise not all of them will involve Lyca. But I JUST KNOW Lyca would be :O!!!!!! after seeing Alan and how strong he is. Cue new sparring buddy for Alan!!!!

Kaito and Sho: I think this is either a bit canon or someone else already had a headcanon??? But Kaito bakes sweets I think?? AM I THINKING OF A FIC I READ???? But anyway, Sho and him could exchange recipes! Leo would hate it though because he hates Kaito but That's Not About Him.

Ed and Zenji: come on. You can't tell me Ed doesn't see ghosts. Zenji would be more than happy to watch youtube with Ed and would force him to like every video he posts AND subscribe. And hit the bell.

Ren and Kaito: they would be that meme that's a bunch of ppl thinking "wow these people are a bunch of freaks! I'm the only normal one here." Except they would think "wow this guy is a loser. Thank goodness I'm not like that!" In the end, they are both losers and Ren will worsen Kaito's gambling addiction by introducing him to a bunch of gacha games.

Okay if you have more ideas please let me know because this was actually so much fun LMAO

Regarding Towa's nicknames, I genuinely think that him nicknaming people comes from a place of disdain. Like, his nicknames aren't necessarily based on the language of flowers. Sometimes, he just associates the characteristic of the plant with the character's personalities.

Edward is Rafflesia because rafflesia is the corpse flower, which smells rotten and like dead bodies. Ren is Wolfsbane because it's extremely poisonous, even to the touch. PC is Dandelion because it's a weed and it's weak, and Towa made it very clear that he thinks PC is cute because she's weak.

I don't actually know why Kaito is Coriander, but given that some people are born with the genes that make coriander taste like soap, maybe it's a nod to the fact that not everyone likes him (since he's not very well liked in Frostheim)???? Genuinely have no idea

As for Zenji, I imagine Towa associated him with Iris based on one of the flower's meaning, which is "bearer of messages and a symbol of deep sentiments" which... fits Zenji, his role in Hotarubi and his love for his baby brother quite well.

And I THINK that he doesn't refer to Haru as a flower/herb because he genuinely likes and respects Haru (unlike Ren and Ed) and doesn't think of him as someone weak and pathetic (unlike PC and Kaito).

SO.......... KNOWING ALL THAT...... now let's get into the name ideas *rubs hands* not all of them will be associated with the flower's meanings btw!!

Alan: anthurium! It's the strongest flower >:)

Sho: basil or thyme merely because of how useful they are in cuisine hehe

Taiga: with how much Taiga raids Jabberwock, Towa probably already got a nickname for him, but if it was me, I'd say petunia because one of its meanings is trouble and he's always causing Haru trouble.

Romeo: mandrake. Because he screams a lot LMAO and mandrake is that root that, in myths, people say screams when you uproot it.

Haku: lotus!!! One of its meanings is mystery and I think it fits him since he's allllll mysterious

Subaru: wisteria, I can't associate him with any other flower 😭

Lyca: lupine, for obvious reasons. It's a legume and it means wolf!!!!

Jiro: okay this name is UGLY but: rhododendron. It's means "beware" in Victorian flower language!

I genuinely didn't have any other ideas for the other ghouls so if you think of any, tell meeeeeeeee this was such a fun ask I love these types of requests!!!!

ALSO THANK YOU FOR JOINING TUMBLR AGAIN........ STILL CANT BELIEVE IT 😭

#tokyo debunker #ask #tokyo debunker headcanons

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talkingparrotkee · 2 years ago

Text

After seeing disagreeable claims critiquing the end of Wakanda Forever float around for the nth time, I felt like organizing my qualms and putting them neatly into another blog. These are just my musings.

"Shuri should've killed Namor! Sparing him was wrong!" I apologize for my harsh phrasing, but this is a horrible and brainless take, especially when it's from begrudged shippers or anti-Wakanda Forever recasters 😭. Whenever I see it, I can't help but wonder if anyone who says this or agrees genuinely likes and (especially) understands Namor and/or Shuri's actual characters. And no, I do not mean the surface aesthetic of or attraction to them.

If you knew and understood what kind of character Shuri (at least in the MCU) is, you would know why she spared Namor's life after nearly taking it. If you understood the important messages carefully baked into the film, you'd understand the writing choice of Shuri sparing Namor and Namor not being the "incorrigible villain who deserves death."

Asking the silly question of why she didn't kill him in the form of critique, or worse, saying she should have or somehow should give him hell after the fact (fortunately, a regressive immaturity neither character has), is a clear show of media illiteracy. It neglects both characters and at least one pillar theme of Wakanda Forever. If Shuri killed Namor, Talokan and Wakanda would unnaturally be eating away at each other for eternity, allowing the surface colonist nations to swoop in as the destabilization process was done for them. The true villains and enemies that put them in that situation where they collided with one another would gain access to their vibranium and technology. Game over.

Shuri Was Never In Her "Villain Era"

The simple answer, Shuri is not Wanda Maximoff ��. Goodnight. (Author's note because someone was troubled by this tongue and cheek remark: I don't hate Wanda at all. I meant what I wrote: Shuri is not Wanda, just Wakandan. People want her to be Wanda and have a Wanda arc when she is not and will not. 🫡)

Even at the lowest of her low, Shuri is no villain. Shuri was just a young woman trying to find what kind of leader she was in the midst of grief, inner turmoil, and human anger. I don't know why some fans say she had a "villain era" or want her to canonically have a "villain era," but ok. That is not Shuri, nor would it have filled the hole in Shuri's heart, as said by Nakia. It was not just because it endangered Wakanda and would spearhead them in an eternal war either. Although, that is reason enough for Shuri not to kill Namor.

Who Princess Shuri Truly Is

Princess Shuri is a natural healer, teacher, and creator. Shuri loves, designs, creates, innovates, builds, and protects. Shuri has people who would die for her and trusts her to make the right choice in the end, faithfully standing beside her even when they recognize that the trajectory she currently set them on wasn't a good one. Why do you think this is? Because they know and trust Shuri. They know her brain is as big as her heart.

Shuri is not inherently destructive. That was the uncharacteristic result of her gripe with death (thinking it meant gone) and destructive handling of her grief. Ryan Coogler even pointed out how Shuri's state was unhealthy and dangerous. Shuri and Namor were both grieving and asking themselves painful questions.

That is why Killmonger is who appears to her. Killmonger is a violent, radical character (made that way by neglect, grief, loss, militaristic molding, and the suffering African Americans face) who almost carelessly sent Wakanda spiraling into mayhem. He became the people he hated, in the wise words of T'Challa, and was an unworthy king, in the wise words of Shuri. If such a man is comparing himself to Shuri and is who her subconscious elicited on the Ancestral Plane (which Shuri seems to be taking to her grave now, refusing to tell Nakia), maybe she's not doing alright? Just a thought!

This is also why Ramonda took her out by the river. It's why M'Baku said what he said at Ramonda's funeral. It is so she can mourn properly. So she could heal properly. Something she wasn't doing since the day T'Challa died.

Killing Namor would've destroyed her, not just her people. It wouldn't have sated her despite in her rightful anger, feeling it would. It would've just sent her past a point of no return.

"Show him who you are." Ramonda told her this after she struggled on her own with killing Namor. Why do you think Shuri hesitated even without Ramonda's influence (which was just her presence and reminding Shuri who she already was) yet? It didn't feel "right" to Shuri as their moment together (watching the Talokan sunrise), how Namor paralleled her, and how their people were alike flew through her mind's eye. Shuri hesitated, not because she was "soft" or "nonsensical mushy writing." Shuri saw what they were and what this was. She thought beyond herself. As Editor Michael P. Shawver said, Namor's line of, "only the most broken people can become great leaders" is what they focused on. It is what Shuri finally realizes at the bitter end. They relate. The narrative, characters, and actors all recognize this; I don't see how some audience members do not.

She and Namor were perpetuating the destructive cycle of grief and vengeance while setting that example for their people, but she was strong enough to pull herself up and break that chain. Then she offered her his hand for the sake of not only themselves, but their people. She saw firsthand the beauty of Talokan. Like Namor admired Wakanda in the beginning, she admired Talokan. She remembered her visit to Talokan in the mix of her nation's beauty.

"Vengance has consumed us. We cannot let it consume our people."

Not "my" people. Not "your" people. Our people.

Shuri realized many simple yet, at the same time, humanly complicated truths of how they had connectivity and were broken, trying to be the best leaders they could be. Neither of them was the villain but are what they were due to the bitter hand life dealt them and the situations they faced.

The Real Theme of Black Panther's Wakanda Forever

This movie also had clear themes of:

A) how POC/indigenous infighting sucks and is counterproductive

B) connectivity of black and brown, from culture to shared wounds

C) the scars of colonialization

Shuri killing Namor would defeat the carefully woven narrative and betray all these well-built things. I know some of you guys don't like to hear this, but Namor is not of the archetype of Killmonger, nor is he the real "villain," so he was handled accordingly.

“We talked to so many experts and really made relationships with them, because there was a lot to go through,” says Beachler. “There are a lot of parallels between Africans and Latin Americans as far as the colonization of their communities and cities, the enslavement of their people, the lies that were told about their culture, the misinterpretation of their words, and the ways they were made out to look demonized in order to elevate a European country.”

Shuri Getting Her Lick Back

"Shuri should've beaten Namor until-" or "She let him off the hook unpunished!" If you paid attention to the movie, you'd see she literally beat him within an inch of his life? She definitely did get her lick back just as Namor got his. Wanting her to get "more" licks after the fact is regressive.

Shuri:

isolated and trapped Namor to weaken and drain his energy

ferally clawed both of his wings, taking out his ability to fly

made him bleed and bruised him up

roasted him in a firey explosion, effectively charring him and rendering him temporarily paralyzed

Shuri didn't play patty cake with him; she made an immortal bleed and fear death. She had him gasping for air on his back at the mercy of her spear tip. She made him yield and call off the troops. She made an ally out of him on her terms who exalted her strength and is currently bandaged up, flightless, and awaiting to aid her (rather than striking first, waging war as originally wanted). It's more than enough and was the best course of action. What do you mean? What are you talking about?

#black panther #wakanda forever #namor shuri #princess shuri #namor #marvel #bpwf #shuri #letitia wright #tenoch huerta

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chaos-of-the-abyss · 26 days ago

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[warning: spoilers]

omg!! omg omg omg!! i see you've been blogging about tgcf!!

ughhhh interesting timing, especially since I just recently got into a slump because of that damn drama audio of shi qingxuan crying in the [yk-what-scene.] 😭 i wonder if you've seen it?

anyways!!! back to my suffering agenda,

what are your thoughts on He Xuan's seemingly tragic ending?

If my sources are right,

Shi qingxuan can't reincarnate and will die, and He Xuan, out of guilt, will look after him from afar until Shi qingxuan's eventual death. Then afterwards, He Xuan disappears because he has no reason left to live. (based on an interview).

What do you think of this?

Also, do you think Ji Wudu got what he deserved? Should he have suffered more?

Were you satisfied with Ji Wudu's death scene and He Xuan's revenge? Or do you wish it played out differently?

That's all!!

Ack! Sorry if it's too much questions, I just got excited 😅❤️

thank you! 🙏♥️🙏

don't apologize anon! i'm always down for a yap session lol. also for anyone who hasn't finished tgcf, anyone who or plans to read it... HERE BE SPOILERS. MASSIVE SPOILERS. PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED PLEASE

i believe it's correct that shi qingxuan cannot enter the cycle of reincarnation and once he dies he's dead -- from my understanding, both ghosts and heavenly officials are barred from rebirth. i do not think there's any novel basis that he xuan will be looking out for him, though -- if this is the same mxtx interview i'm thinking of, it's actually misinfo spread on tiktok. tbh, i don't think there's any novel basis that he xuan feels too terrible about what he's done to shi qingxuan in the first place. that's the whole point of his story imo: that he used to be such a hardworking, kind, and hopeful person, who was happy with his parents, sister, and fiancee despite the little they had. but the injustice of his life beat him down so much to the point that in his rage he emerges as a supreme-class ghost king who will hurt others the same way he was hurt without a care so long as it's for his revenge. i mean, what he does to the real ming yi, and later to shi qingxuan, reflects different aspects of what shi wudu did to him (stealing a person's identity and fate, and ripping a person's sibling away from them in a horrible way). he xuan is someone who's become so consumed by his hatred and resentment that, while he still retains a certain sense of fairness, he's still a fundamentally vicious and remorseless person.

as for what will become of he xuan, i personally think he'll either destroy his own ashes or will disperse eventually. he's had his revenge, and has nothing concrete tying him to the mortal plane anymore. i think the reason he's still around by the end is that he's unsatisfied with his vengeance, and that's because he didn't get to wring true remorse out of shi wudu; he was denied that vindication for his family. he never saw the moment that shi wudu truly understood how horribly he'd hurt him and his loved ones -- because shi wudu refused to feel that guilt. he refused to feel remorse over subjecting innocent people to such horrible fates, because he loves shi qingxuan too much to regret doing what he did to protect him. i also think he's deliberately trying to hurt he xuan as much as possible even in his death -- his cruel declaration that he's won, that no matter what he xuan does to him or his brother now, they're the ones who lived for centuries in prosperity and godhood and nothing he xuan does can undo that -- was a colossal and pointed middle finger, an indication of his refusal to give he xuan the satisfaction. and he xuan absolutely hates that shi wudu never felt sorry, even until the end.

i do think that he'll eventually make his peace with his revenge and how unfulfilling it was, though. i mean, there's nothing else he can do. and if that happens he'll have truly let go of the last thing keeping him in the world and will disperse. if he can't make that peace, as i said, i think he would destroy his ashes. it's once again a matter of there being no other path forward for him, because he's had his revenge, however unsatisfying it was, and he has no way of meeting his family or miao-er again. if he continues to stay around there'll be nothing but misery and grief and dissatisfied emptiness for him, and i just don't think he xuan would care for an existence like that. it would take him a while -- a very long time actually, i think -- but imo he'd commit ghost suicide eventually

as for whether shi wudu deserved it... i am a he xuan stan. he is by far my favorite character in tgcf aside from hualian. he deserved to do worse to shi wudu... is what i'd say, but that's my love for him talking and the fact that i just sympathize with him more than i do with shi wudu despite both of them having their reasons, and i'll explain why: his and his family and fiancee's sheer powerlessness in the face of their circumstances was so intrinsically tied to their lower class that it always gets me. especially his sister and miao-er -- they were forced to become sex slaves to a rich family, and no one was able to do anything about it because this family had wealth and power. his sister killed herself, unable to bear the suffering, and miao-er was beaten to death. given that these sort of class dynamics are unfortunately very real issues that lead to very similar occurrences irl, it's just something i have to feel veryyy strongly about.

from the standpoint of impartial analysis of the text though, i think the more accurate answer is that... well, there really isn't one. shi wudu was wrong for what he did to he xuan and his family, nobody can argue against that -- but would you not also go to any horrible lengths you could to protect your little sibling? in fact, didn't he xuan go to very similar lengths to avenge his little sister, and his parents and fiancee? at their core, he xuan and shi wudu become the same type of ruthless, uncompromising, singleminded person who will do whatever they feel is necessary for their loved ones, and not feel guilt for it. whether i wish shi wudu's death had gone differently, it's the same deal. shi wudu's defiance until the end and his mocking of he xuan does grind my gears, but that's again the biased he xuan stan in me talking. once more from an impartial standpoint, it makes perfect sense narratively that shi wudu would act the way he did. he and he xuan are parallels. they're supposed to be very similar to each other. he xuan feels no remorse -- not for what he did to the real ming yi nor for what he did to shi qingxuan -- and shi wudu feels no remorse, either. so yeah, the "he xuan did nothing wrong!!!!!" blinking neon sign in my brain aside, i think shi wudu's death scene is perfect from a thematic perspective. i wouldn't change it, because that would tamper with the message of the blackwater arc and the message of, and the dynamic between, he xuan, shi wudu, and shi qingxuan as characters.

#i know this sounds like i hate swd lmao listen guys i promise that's not the case. i just love hx more #anonymous #answered #asks #tgcf tag #he xuan #shi wudu #shuangshui #shi qingxuan #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #black water sinking ships #black water arc #tgcf meta #tgcf spoilers #mxtx #mxtx tgcf #mo xiang tong xiu

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beyourownanchor6 · 6 months ago

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20 questions for fic writers ✍️

Tagged by my dear @spotsandsocks 🩵

How many works do you have on ao3?

249!

What’s your total ao3 word count?

1,588,699 ummm guess i really never can stfu 😅

What fandoms do you write for?

mostly 9-1-1, but also teen wolf. debating another but we shall see..

Top five fics by kudos

if i lay here, would you lie with me (forget the world) (over 3k kudos 🥲)

nobody can do everything

i want to love you (but i don't know how)

five + one (istg i'm gonna come up with a title for this so i don't have to see this embarrassment of one anymore 💀)

if i asked you to stay, would you?

Do you respond to comments?

always! i appreciate people taking the time to leave them <3

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

—uhh either of these since they're both mcd ooop 🫣

dancing after death (you and i)

come back home (version 2)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

—mm i'll go with chris doesn't come back au since it was full of angst and everyone suffered 😂

wake me up (i'm drowning)

Do you get hate on fics?

no just annoying/unnecessary comments sometimes 🙃

Do you write smut?

i may have written a few....

the slutty suit (i think this one's self explanatory 😏)

upstairs/downstairs (pwp on a rainy day in the fire station)

i'll let you fire my hose if you merry my christmas (author!buck writes pwp x amatuer model eddie for his book covers)

beautiful drama series (buddie meet on a dating app and start up fwb)

Craziest crossover:

uhh, well there's my step up au: let me lose myself

or there's my divergent au: crossfire

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of...

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't think so. someone asked once, but not sure what ever happened with that

Have you ever co-written a fic?

yep, with my wife @loserdiaz 🫶🏻 (i think i know what our next one shall be 👀)

—no body, no crime

—this is my idea of fun (playing video games)

—i don't want to keep secrets just to keep you

All time favorite ship?

buddie ofc 😌

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

—uhhh probably the buddie fwb buck 1.0.2 that i started, deleted, but still have the notes for....rawie look away

What are your writing strengths?

keeping them in character and metaphors, according to my lovely readers 🥰

What are your writing weaknesses?

keeping things short 😭 (idk i could make a whole list but don't feel like tearing myself apart atm lmao)

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

—to each their own

First fandom you ever wrote in?

teen wolf!

Favorite fic you’ve written?

i hate picking between my children 😭

i'm gonna go with duck buck, just bc i've been thinking about her lately 🐥 (and i'm sure y'all are tired of hearing about my favorite one 😂)

the ducking of evan buckley

—so i definitely forgot this was in my drafts hfurnj. if you’ve already done this just ignore me <3 tagging: @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @redlightsandicedtea @honestlydarkprincess @bi-buckrights @onward--upward @elvensorceress @daffi-990 @wikiangela @hippolotamus @wildlife4life @eddiebabygirldiaz @confetti-cupcake @queerdiaz @jackluvsdaniel @ronordmann @spaceprincessem @underwaterninja13

#tag games #buddie #my writing

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darlingsnow0 · 5 months ago

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Katniss avox pt 2, kinda hate it tbh but it took long to write 😭

tags: @heartforeyes

I think you wanted me to tag you? Sorry if you didn’t lmao😭

Katniss does not know how many days she’s been here, she’s kept in a white room with a bed and doctors come and check on her. Their clothing is always the same so she cannot tell if they came every day or twice or maybe even thrice. She has her mouth checked, but they always have a peacekeeper with them, she guess’s snow has told them to be wary about her bites.

Of course she doesn’t try and bite them, the peacekeepers don’t intimidate her she just has no need to bite them. They’ve given her a note book to write down responses to their questions, though they complain about how sloppy her hand writing is, she wants to say they need to take it up with President snow to get district twelve a better education system but she doubts they would take that seriously.

She’s been sedated at least three times, usually after thinking of what could’ve become of Prim, peeta, her mother, gale, his family, all of district twelve really. They say she worked herself into a panic and that it could disrupt her healing, she guesses from how much she’s tried screaming and opening her mouth. She wonders what peeta would think about this, would he console her? Yes, he would a voice in her head said, because peeta is kind and good, Prim is as well.

She’s tried to cry before, but all that’s come out is sad, pitiful animal noises. They remind her of sounds that animals she would shoot and not kill immediately make, she suppose’s that is what she is, an animal that’s been shot yet not killed. She’s seen some people try and help animals they see on the streets that are near death and in pain, ones that should be dead, that is snow but he is not doing this from the goodness of his heart by keeping her alive. He is keeping her alive so she can suffer and tear herself apart mentally and soon enough physically.

She once tried to district herself by singing, singing a beautiful ballad or maybe the hanging tree. But she could not sing, she has no tongue, she can’t sing anymore. How will she sing prim to sleep? How will she tell her stories? How will she console her if she ever gets nightmares? Is prim even alive anymore? Katniss asks herself that question everyday, what had happened to her dear prim? Sweet, lovely, and innocent prim who wanted to always help people, how was she born in panem? To a country so cruel, with rulers who could learn from her kindness.

Katniss wonders where she will work, Will she work in the sewers? Or in a capitol house? Maybe snow will keep her as an avox at the presidential mansion? Would she prefer that? Being trapped with the horrible smell of blood and roses that seemed to follow President snow wherever he goes, or would she prefer working down in the sewers of the capitol? What would she prefer? Being trapped with the smell of blood and roses or in the sewers for so many hours a day? Katniss does not know what being in the sewers is like, does she want to know what it is like?

When Katniss wakes up she is met with a loose white dress? Or a large piece of fabric with some holes, she is not cinna, she cannot tell. She puts it on and sits on her bed, and she hears walking outside the door. Then it’s opened and in walks two peacekeepers, they motion for her to stand up and she walks over. They are on either side of her as they walk down a hallway, it looks like the tribute center, she must’ve been kept in the tribute center.

They walk past a window and Katniss see’s herself, she looks like a skeleton and her hair is messy and brittle. The sky outside is bright, and people are walking around below her, they look likes ants almost. She is shoved into the elevator and almost falls before her arm is squeezed by a peacekeeper and he drags her back up. She stands in between them both and she hears quite laughs as they both look at each other, it takes her longer then she liked to realize they were laughing at her.

They push her into a car and she watches through very dark windows as the capitol buildings pass, it reminds her of the parade. Where are they taking her? Are they taking her to a sewers entrance? The presidential mansion? Or an auction where rich capitol people will bid on her like a piece of furniture? Which would she prefer? Has she asked herself that question before? She cannot remember. Soon enough they are somewhere and a peacekeeper pulls her out of the car, the presidential mansion stands tall and imposing in front of her. She is dragged through a back entrance and sees others wearing the same piece of fabric, Katniss had decided to call it that, as her.

She is forced into a kitchen and is handed a bowl of fruits, raspberries and for a second Katniss thinks they are nightlock berries but they are regular blue berries. She is instructed to take these to President for breakfast, katniss has not eaten breakfast yet, when will she be allowed to eat breakfast? She walks through the halls, like a lost child with the bowl of fruits, the raspberries and blue berries which Katniss has decided to think of as nightlock.

She likes to think that she is going to give President snow nightlock berries and he is going to die, another way of killing to add to her imaginary list in her head. She doesn’t know where the office is, nobody told her, they just assumed she’d know? Or was this some joke? Soon enough a peacekeeper is dragging her to snow’s office and there he is, sitting behind a nice desk, mahogany, Effie likes mahogany. He smiles once he sees her, his snake eyes lighting up in sick delight, his lips look bigger than the last time she’s seen him. She sets down the bowl in front of him and he stares at the fruits, he must recognize what the berries look like, or maybe he see’s the slight smile Katniss has realized she had while thinking of killing him. Though whatever he sees he must realize the resemblance of the berries sooner or later. Because his smile fades slightly before he shoo’s her out, and then she is taken out by the peacekeeper and instructed to clean.

That is what she does now, everyday, some days she is shoved and some days she is not. She prefers the days where she isn’t shoved though she cannot get rid of the thought that President snows lips seem bigger each time she sees him. Even if it’s twice in the same day, something else Katniss has grown to hate-the smell is always so strong-they seem bigger than the first time she saw him.

One day, when she is waiting for the peacekeepers to come she is not met with them coming through the door but different people, in black combat outfits and helmets with vests as well. When one removes their helmet she thinks she is dreaming because peeta is standing in front of her, and she tackles him. They fall to the floor and she grips his wrist, so that she knows he is real and that it is not her imagination, she grips so hard she feels her nails leave marks but she is worried that he will be taken again if she lets go.

#mel mutters #the hunger games #coriolanus snow #katniss everdeen #catching fire #peeta mellark #avox katniss #katniss and peeta #this is long #1278 words #I think #very proud of myself for writing that much tbh #president snow #peacekeepers #avoxes

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18ndrift · 2 months ago

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🤭💕 why do you like deidara and hidan? what exactly about them draws you to them? 🍓☺️

uhm EVERYTHING. LOL!

Deidara and hidan are such goof balls and I have a soft spot for goofballs 100% 🙏🙂‍↕️ Their funny interactions always light up my mood

Hidan is bitchy, annoying and enjoys pressing your buttons. His duo, Kakuzu, is perfect for him and it showsss. Always joking about dying when kakuzu threatens him 😭 Ugh, That man. I also LOVE his bitchy attitude, It honestly reminds me of myself since I act very similarly. Hidan is crazy, he is Bersurk. He doesn't really back down no matter how many times he's either corrected or humiliated, he doesn't care, he goes back to being a bitch. He won't shut up. Also his character design is insane, I love how his akatsuki cloak looks.. its different from the others, the hair is so fine bro, The sythe is Crazy and how he twirls it around like its his favorite toy to show off LOL. I could just Ramble on and on. Believe it on not, when I first saw hidan I thought I was going to hate him, but I realized the humor in this man and I loved him

Deidara, Honestly man, I usually dont like blond men but he's an exception. His fixation on art was so real, both hidan and deidara are very fixated and dedicated to their work. Loyalty in a way I guess? I really like the fact that he doesn't really stop creating his art even after being mocked or argued against, but its funny to see him blow his top off. He does have a bitchy attitude but its like "hmph" all the time, like he's some sort of grounded moody teenager 😭❤️ (he's 19 too) His pouty responses and how he handles tobi is probably one of my favorite scenes to rewatch. Also he literally says to tobi "you have to be cool, like me" (implying he is chill and calm collected) when he's literally a hot head. HAH no way Deidara

Honestly I probably like hidan and deidara out of everyone else is because they don't really.. care about other people in a way? Like they aren't interested in world peace or how other people are suffering, they're just chilling in their own bubble

oh and they both are dedicated to their work even to the very end, death. well "death" for hidan, he gave his life to praising his god technically

#im not crazy guys #i'm just a really big fan for them 2 #akatsuki #deidara #naruto #hidan akatsuki #hidan #hidan naruto #deidara akatsuki

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syrupsyche · 2 months ago

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Chapter 2 of "Even If There Are Monsters" Director's Commentary

I wrote a Les Mis × Dracula AU! You can find the commentary for Chapter 1 here.

Now onto Chapter 2!

Combeferre as the Dr. Seward-figure is kinda funny to me 😭 because I feel like they'd have HATED each other. And is a big reason why I didn't have a Renfield character either; not only would the Renfield side plot taken way too much time, but I also wholeheartedly believe that Combeferre would not have been an asylum director 😔. So a regular doctor he is!

Speaking of Combeferre, that implied One-sided Combeferre/Enjolras tag is a callback to Lucy's rejection of Dr. Seward. Didn't include the scene bc its fanfiction; readers would already be familiar with Combeferre’s personality! No need for any humiliation /lh. But for those curious in the lore of this AU, Combeferre had indeed confessed to Enjolras years ago, only to be kindly rejected. Clearly their friendship has not suffered, but Combeferre will always be a little fond of him. As we can see in the later chapters.

There's a lot of build-up around Enjolras's illness and his relationship with Grantaire, firstly bc yay exR ❤️ and secondly, I've always loved the parallel between Arthur/Lucy and Jonathan/Mina, and though both couples deserve happy endings, A/L was simply just the right person, not enough time trope 😔 and so I wanted to gun for this parallel even further by having exR and marisette go on the same "journey": one side of the couple suffering/missing, while the other is frantic with worry.

Anyone familiar with Dracula would also know I've completely mucked up the vampire lore/logic/timeline of the OG novel too. Well, with Renfield gone and me not wanting to basically regurgitate plot, I figured I'd just create my own vampire lore 😭 They can come in uninvited now apparently! Yay!

Prouvaire as the Van Helsing-figure also means that he is now their equal instead of a High Ranking Professor with Multiple PhDs Etc. Thus, he has a personal stake in the matter from the very beginning, making him hesitate when investigating bc surely his friend couldn't be going through what he thinks he's going through...right? And also makes for a great friendship with Cosette! I love writing the both of them together; they would have had tons of lovely conversations in canon 🫶 too bad they're left to face the Horrors here.

This was a shorter commentary than yesterday's but tbf, this chapter is quite short in generally. Was unsure where to cut it but decided to do so just before the next rising action (sleepwalking outdoors!) Hope you guys enjoyed nevertheless :D

Come and find the next chapter's commentary tmr!!

#les mis #les mis fanfic #syrup ramble #syrup writing

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couchpotatoaniki · 11 months ago

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One Year ❣︎ Eleven: Friends Are There Through Thick And Thin

Chapter summary: You hear San out, which leads to an unexpectedly difficult talk for the both of you. Things are shifting, and neither of you don’t know what to do.

Pairing: Mafia!San x Fem!Reader Series Genre: Mafia AU, fluff, angst, eventual smut, lotta crack and stupid shit ngl Chapter warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse, mentions of ptsd, anxiety, hints to sleep paralysis, Word count: 5.1k+ A 365 Days parody

A/N: I’m back from my hiatus and my god I missed this so much 😭😭 this chapter’s a bit angsty but the next one will make up for it, I promise.

Previous: Chapter Ten

For the rest of the series, click here

Speech and bracketed speech in bold means they’re talking in Korean

Speech and bracketed speech in italics is whatever the reader wants their native langue to be that’s not Korean or English

Speech without either means they’re talking in English

“The first time I met the Jeong family was shortly after Ma died,” San began, in a low relaxed tone as if he was talking about what he had for lunch yesterday. “I was quite young, but my father was grief-stricken and I stepped up to support him. He didn’t want me to but he wasn’t as strong as he used to be in arguments with me after her passing, so he just let me learn the trades of our business.”

He chuckled darkly, rubbing the tip of his thumb along the soft plush of his lower lip. “Should’ve listened to him,” he admitted with a hint of regret in his voice and a darkness in his eye you recognised from your own reflection. “Should’ve stayed a kid a little bit longer like Ma wanted me to and not want to be the hero that could fix everything like she seemed to do.”

His deep gaze bore into you for a few beats until he spoke once more. “The first time I met the Jeong family, the patriarch was beating the ever living shit out of his own son.”

You tried your best not to freeze, and although you knew of the treatment Yunho had endured there, it certainly felt a whole lot different hearing it from someone else. Hearing it from San.

He noticed your shift and gently grasped your hand over the table, running his thumb soothingly against your knuckles to try and ease the horror he could feel building inside you.

“My dad,” he resumed in that detached tone again, “had grown up with a horrible mother and an even worse father. When he met Ma, he was still a bit of a...’fixer upper’. But he changed. Said he wanted to give himself a reason for her to be proud of loving him, a reason she would want to call him her husband when the time came for him to propose--and most importantly, he was just so tired of hating his own soul. Wanted to love it as much as she did.”

A soft, intimate smile played against his lips for a brief moment. “Once, she told me that loving him came as easy as breathing.” His eyes flickered to yours, so much weight behind them, and his hand that held yours seared with a heat you couldn’t find yourself to pull away from.

“By the time they had me, they were very clear on what morals I was to have. And neither of them stopped drilling it into me until their dying breath.” San chuckled humourlessly. “Sometimes I still hear their ghosts whisper it into my ears, in the gentle way they spoke.”

His eyes closed as he recounted one of the last things he ever heard his father say all the way back in Santorini five years ago. “(We too have morals. There are some lines we must never cross.) One of them was that family and friends were sacred. You can’t hurt them. Can’t fix them through pain.”

You do your best not to think of Isaac but his face flashes for the briefest of moments in your mind and you hate yourself all the more for it.

His eyes shut more tightly as if trying to stop seeing the memory once more, a shuddering breath released from his lungs. “I’ve seen and done some horrible shit, Y/N, but what I saw that day? Fucking hell. No child should ever have to suffer that much, never mind at the hands of one of the few people in this cruel world that was supposed to protect him.”

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as memories resurfaced for you too--of Yunho and his breakdowns, of the scars that littered every inch of his torso, of the slight limp in his left leg and occasional shoulder pain from broken bones that never managed to set quite right. Memories of that sweet, sweet boy made of sunshine and smiles consumed in nightmarish slumber, still trying to fight off the ghosts of his past that felt all too real to him. Frozen. Unable to move. Unable to protect himself.

San may have seen part of the actual abuse Yunho had to endure, but Y/N had to witness for the past five years how he tried so damn hard to not slip back down, even if it sometimes oozed out of the cracks in the walls he built. And Seonghwa? Jesus, Seonghwa was the one who who truly saw it all--how it almost broke Yunho, how he almost broke himself to try to get away from his own mind.

Guilt resurfaced as a heavy knot in your throat, imagining Yunho starting to slip back again. There were triggers but he’d worked well to cope in a healthy way, they all supported him in managing his responses, in helping him re-associate some of those triggers with better, nicer things. But being this close again? God, you should really go back home, end all of this.

But you need to do this. Yunho needs you to do this much at least.

“Y/N,” San coaxes you away from your thoughts, and if he noticed that you disappeared for a few moment, he did not mention it. “I care for you. More than any person on this earth. Would travel through the nine circles of hell and back to protect you. You know that right?”

Strangely, you did. From the reverent way he looks at you, holds your hand, speaks to you. Faking something like that must have needed intervention from some higher being. Without another thought, you nod.

“Good. So you know that I want to keep you far away from things that may harm you. I’m already a dangerous person with many enemies but the Jeong family have a darkness I couldn’t bare to have you near.”

“I don’t need you to protect me, San,” you whisper, voice feeling fragile in such a raw moment. “Got plenty of darkness in me already.”

He looks at you with this sad sort of smile. “I know. Wanna kiss you for being so strong and scorch the world for not stopping itself from hurting you.” He brings the hand still in his own up to his lips, letting it brush along the slightly rough skin in the barest of kisses as if content with feeling the warmth of your soul through your very fingertips. “I’ve been around enough sorrow to know when there is still goodness in something and you have so much goodness in you despite what you’ve been through.”

He pauses.

“Maybe one day you’ll find enough comfort with me to confide in it all. But until then, let me shield you from the unnecessary pain.”

You don’t remember how much time passes as the words seep into your very heart and bones and soul. While the very concept of being cared for and shouldering the burden you carry has always been an unspoken rule between your family and even more so the boys, you’ve never had someone say that to you and it feels almost overwhelming to hear it. As if your brain is having a hard time processing the fact that here is someone on this godforsaken earth who cares for you as deeply as San does and would want to stay by you side in spite of all of that.

In spite of the damage to your soul and pieces missing from your heart.

Even while you were with Dominic, there was a side of you that you felt was unworthy of being seen--shameful even--though it wasn’t you fault. You still had to keep guards up sometimes even with Mingi, and in this very room where the outside world with every messy thing that came with it was just noise far down below, you started to feel the toll it took on you. The energy is sucked out of you, the weight of keeping it up all the time.

Suddenly, confiding in Choi San didn’t seem like a bad idea at all.

But then you remembered that some of the bricks that made up that wall you held up against him weren’t yours to share with him.

“There’s...” Tongue flickering out to lick your lips, you’re unsure of how to phrase this in a way that won’t divulge in too much information, “I just...” You take a deep breath to calm your nerves. God, why was your heart racing that fast?

San could tell the conundrum you were going through. Went through the same after all, with how much he could divulge you with for he too had walls built up and for good reason.

He took the initiative. “You asked about Jeong Yunho specifically... why?”

“I wanted to know what you knew about him.” But neither of you mentioned how from the crumbs San gave you, both of you knew that Yunho was the boy he was talking about. Stiffening the air like dust in an abandoned house.

“Why?” he repeated.

Your mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. Damn it, you were good at this. Good at coming up with shit on the spot--why isn’t your brain working right now? Why do you want to tell him the truth? That truce between you two is starting to shrivel up, walls pushing back up again--

“Remember, Y/N, I can’t give you an answer if you don’t give me a good enough reason in return.” San’s last plea to get you to open up so he could do the same.

You pull your hands from his grasp to run through your hair, and the walls start to go up even higher the both of you can feel it.

Blowing a frustrated breath out you get up from your seat, turn your back to him as you make your way to your nightstand.

The man lets his face crumble as his heart drops in his stomach all the while he watches you walk away from him both physically and mentally. He leans back into the chair, feeling--for the first time in a long time--defeated.

He sees you grab the glass of water on your nightstand and finish the whole thing in a few big gulps. He wants to tell you to be careful, that you’ll choke, but his voice is caught in his tight throat unable to come out.

Setting the glass back down, you take a moment before you turn back to him. There’s something in your eyes that tells him, maybe your wall isn’t fully up yet. There’s some cracks. And then you ask him, in a soft voice, “stay with me the night?” You try to regain some playfulness by narrowing your eyes in a mock glare. “No funny business.”

He musters up as much of a smile as he can at the moment--it’s weak and tired, but there’s the remnants of that brief truce there. He doesn’t speak and neither do you as he walks to the opposite side of the bed and crawls in with you.

You both lie on your backs, you looking up at the ceiling while he looks at you. Making no move to touch you, not even move closer to you.

You close your eyes, letting him gaze at you with those curiously sad eyes of his. So attuned to his breathing, you can tell even when a lot of time--or a little, you can’t tell as the concept doesn’t seem to exist in this room right now, but it feels like a lot--he still hasn’t fallen asleep yet. His thoughts are loud but not loud enough for you to hear them.

He feels the same way about you. Knows that you’re awake, mind running with thoughts that escape him and damn it fucking hurts to be this shut out from you.

You want to speak the words--any words to him or at least intertwine one of your fingers with his. To show some semblance that things have changed, that you have not shut him out completely like he might think.

But at one point, you lose the mental battle and fall into a dreamless sleep.

When you wake, San is nowhere to be found. You’re curled up facing where he would be and feel around to notice that the spot is cold and that side of the bed is made. He’s been gone for a while, you confirm once you notice the time on your phone, because it is almost one in the afternoon and he must have had business to attend to.

That didn’t stop the faint pang inside you at his sudden absence after last night.

Groaning, you roll you body up, trying to rub the sleep from your eyes while you think how could things change so much for you in such a short space of time since you met San.

His crazy seems to be rubbing off on you, since you feel some kind of attachment to him? Or at least, you feel a little more empty when he is not there. Jesus, at this rate, you might actually want to stay with him by the end of the year.

You find that thought terrifying, though not as all-consuming as you expected it to feel. Like the kind of terror that came with standing at the edge of a cliff that you can just as easily back away from into the safety of land rather than stare at the rough dark waters crashing on jagged rocks below.

You have been through enough shit to know when you really need to talk to someone about how you’re feeling. And right now you need to talk to someone.

Run through the talking points in your head as you freshen up in the bathroom, already knowing that today feels like a pyjama day. You feel sick just thinking about the idea of talking about your feelings, that familiar sense of dread curdling in your stomach. So you don’t leave the confines of your bedroom for a late breakfast--you can barely think of stomaching the smell of breakfast.

Cold sweats lace your palms as you click on Mingi’s contact on your phone, practice some level breathing as ringing presses against your ear. It doesn’t take long for you to hear his voice.

“Hey, wassup?”

“Hey,” you try to say confidently but it comes out as a strangled whisper from the funny feeling in your throat.

A pause, and then, “What happened?”

The instinctive answer comes out despite all the mental preparation. “Nothing.”

“Y/N, what happened?”

“Nothing...”

He sighs, “The last time you answered the phone like this and I played along, you were in a horrible situation. I’m not making that mistake again. Now tell me, what happened?”

You don’t know why but hot fat tears spill from your eyes in quick succession against your will. Silent as they come, you know he can tell. He was always able to. “Mingi, I don’t know what to do,” you whisper as it all comes crashing down on you.

“It’s been weeks since everything’s happened and I don’t know why but it’s all come crashing down and I just don’t know what to do.”

“Okay, that okay,” he coaches, “Just grab onto the closest threat. Start from there. Bit by bit.”

“I just,” you try to take deep breaths and make a clumsy attempt to explain the pent up emotions, “it’s so stupid but it only really just hit me how much Dominic hurt, you know? I didn’t love him but I did like him and just... being treated like that, like I’m nothing of worth fucking hurt. It was the first time I was with someone since...him and it ended up hurting me again and I swore I would never let my heart get hurt again and...and--”

You pause. Breathe.

“And then there’s what I’m putting Yunho through simply by being here with San, all because I wanted to escape my problems and feelings again. I can barely even do my job right because I can’t get a straight answer out of him--or any of the others because they’re tight-knit and won’t betray San like that even if it is to shit-talk his ex.”

Not even Wooyoung, who you seemed to have the most rapport with out of the three boys. You tried getting information out of them over the few days San was avoiding you (and admittedly you, him) from the initial bathroom confrontation, but each of them were tight-lipped and you knew without them having to say that San told them to remain that way about the subject.

More waves of fatigue wash over you, and you lift your legs up and rest your forehead on your knees. “And the worst part is, is that San cares about me in a way no one has. At least, not in the same sense you guys do. And it feels different but my brain is telling me it’s the same honey trap all over again. I’m holding myself back from opening up to him, which is the smart move all things considering, but some part of me wants to open up to him and that scares me so damn much.”

Mingi doesn’t interrupt even as you pause again, knowing you well enough to be able to tell when you’ve finished talking and when you’re taking a moment to find the truest words to string together even if it sometimes doesn’t make sense when it is translated from your mind.

“Last night, he came to me and told me that if I wanted answers out of him, I would have to hear why he didn’t want to tell me then tell him why he should tell me.” You sigh. “Mingi, he knows about what they did to Yunho--or at least snippets of what his dad did to him. I’m sure he knows that I know that too because I made the stupid fucking decision to ask about Yunho specifically. He said he didn’t want me near people like that...”

Isaac’s presence filled the silence but neither of you mentioned it.

“He asked me to tell him why I needed to know...and I just...couldn’t. It wasn’t my place and we both kind of shut down on each other and for some fucking reason, it hurt a bit. I just...” You let out another heavy breath. “I don’t know. It feels so messy.”

A beat or two passes before he exhales. “Okay. Yeah, that is pretty fuckin’ heavy.” You smile, breathing out a little amused laugh. “But that’s okay, Y/N. None of this shit ever comes easily.

“First and foremost, before we touch any of that other shit you just said, you need to get it through to your head that you are in absolutely no way, shape, or form, the reason why all this is being dredged up again. You of all people know how the past has a nasty way of catching up to us, and Yunho was going to have to face it sooner or later. Yes, the fact that you’re with San means that it did come sooner, but that doesn’t make it bad whatsoever.

“Yunho has his own demons and we can’t protect him forever, no matter how much we want to. If anything, this couldn’t have come at a better time. Our future isn’t exactly secure in the field we work in so at least it’s coming now when we are all here to support him through his problems and help him grow. But remember, we’re not powerless kids anymore. Yunho knows that too, he’s just trying to get his brain up to speed with it in his own way.”

You want to protest that you can do more, but the words die on your tongue as you tell our brain that Mingi is right. Yunho has to work through his own demons, and you being there to baby him through the process would be more counter-productive than anything.

Mingi clears his throat. “You’re stubborn and a major empath, so I dunno if any of that stuck.”

You smile faintly. “I’m trying to make it.”

“Good. Now, onto the whole spaghetti of emotions you’re having about San and relationships.” He sighs, “you weren’t wrong when you said it was messy. But don’t think for a second that it’s not supposed to be. Your hearts been stomped on to high heaven so I don’t blame you one bit for not wanting to give San a chance.” You open your mouth to protest but he already hears the fight coming and cuts it out of the roots, “I know we joked about you falling for San at the beginning and you have this whole aversion to the concept of ‘love’ so for arguments sake, we’ll just say you like him and chalk this situation as Fate being the bitch that it is.”

He hesitates for a moment. “I was actually planning on telling you this later, when you had finally come to terms with your own feelings about the whole Dominic thing but it seems like you did that already--which, by the way, I am very proud of you. Even if it did come out as a part of an emotional explosion since you have a horrible habit of bottling everything in until you’re bursting at the seems.”

“Thanks,” your tone is deadpan with an underlying tone of amusement to it.

“No problem. Anyway, Seonghwa made Yeosang and I do some more research into San--he was doing all this fancy computer wizard shit again and I did some incognito spy shit--and he really doesn’t seem that bad of a person. I mean, yeah, he’s got as much blood on his hands as the next mobster but he just seems to be a nice person? Again, relative to him being part of the mafia world. So if you wanted to open up to him... I mean, I don’t see why not.”

“He could have that side to him, the one he doesn’t show to everyone. He could hurt me.”

“Y/N, don’t take this the wrong way... but that will always be a possibility with anyone you meet--be it a potential friend or partner or whatever. You learn from the pain and mistakes, and recognise the signs more easily if you see them again so you don’t get hurt as badly as the last time. You left Dominic when he cheated on you, recognising that as one of the signs that he didn’t care for you as you wanted him to. You learned from the last time. And what did you learn from Dominic that you’ll keep an eye out for?”

You don’t realise that the tears had stopped until they started again at his gentle tone and careful words. This time, slower. “I wasn’t as important to him as his ego and reputation was. He was very different to how he was in public and how he was in private,” you sniffled, recalling all the times he would try to seem Big and Masculine in from of his friends often at your expense.

It happened on your way to Jeju, when you were struggling with the luggage and he was chatting to his friends about how he was going on a casual holiday, forgetting that it was supposed to be a birthday trip for you and Mingi. Even at the birthday dinner, he tried to make a speech that fed his ego as the Good Boyfriend at the expense of one of the most important people in your life.

“The point is, you can’t be so afraid of being hurt again that you shut everyone out. That’s a painfully slow death you’ll be experiencing. You live, you hurt, you learn, you move on. What did Auntie L/N always say when we were being angsty kids?”

You mouth quirked at the memory of your mother. “Let the negative emotions come, let them teach you, but never let them overstay.” God, you missed her.

“Yeah. You’ve got that wise woman gene from her. Maybe rather than only using it for others, use it for yourself too.”

Sniffles filled in the silence as you let that sink in, silently promising yourself that you would try to do that. That you would try to be kinder to yourself.

“As for the Yunho shit in relation to San...trust your gut. You know what to say and what not to.”

“Okay,” you mumble, feeling another tsunami of fatigue wash over you again now that this is all off your chest. “You said you did some spy shit? Are you Seoul right now?”

“Damn, I was planning on surprising you. Just a few towns over, actually, but still in Choi territory.”

“What if I speak to San? About letting you come here to visit me? I don’t think he’d say no.”

He thinks for a second. “Hm, well I’m gonna see you anyway so you might as well see if you can get a less fun way too I suppose.”

This time your chuckle comes out stronger and once Mingi feels like you’re in a decent mental state, he lets you end the call.

Any second-in-command worth their salt would be attuned to their leader and able to take over the heavy lifting when it was beginning to get too much for them. And Hongjoong was priceless so it didn’t take much for him to sense San’s off mood. He was not as sharp today, was not as focused as he usually was and that was strange in and of itself.

San was always great at compartmentalising and separating his work and personal affairs so they did not bleed into one another--which was a fucking feat considering most of the men in these circles lived and breathed their work life (not a very healthy thing to do) and also the fact that San used to date Jeong Dae who came from a very powerful family in their own right.

There was only one being who could frazzle this impenetrable man.

Wooyoung and Jongho had spent the most time with you and so had begun to take a liking to you--then again, the what they considered to be a nice partner was a line down all the way in the ninth circle of hell after their experience with Dae.

More than anything, he was frustrated because you do seem like a nice person--stuffed full of secrets that you hold tightly to your chest more so than the average person--but he cared more for San’s heath and right now, he looked fucking terrible.

He knew that if the other man got a whiff of how Hongjoong was trying to take care of him, he would get annoyed from being treated like a child. Would try that much harder to take on more of the work. Years of having to deal with him taught him the fine art of how to manipulate the stubborn ass into looking after his own wellbeing but being willing to share some of the workload.

But even masters of craft come along a new situation they are unsure of how to handle once in a while.

“San?”

“Yeah,” he mumbles absentmindedly, staring at sheets of paper the blue-haired man knows for a fact is reading two-three times over just to get the words to make sense to him through the foggy lethargic haze clouding his brain. Could see it in his eyes.

“Did you get any sleep last night?”

He takes in a deep breathe. “Uh... not much. Couldn’t sleep.”

“How come?”

“Just...couldn’t.”

He hums in response, not taking his eyes of the sheets in from of him. “I think we both know that’s a lie.”

San slaps his own documents onto his desk, rubbing his eyes in frustration. “Then what do you want me to say? Do you want me to open up and talk about my feelings?”

Hongjoong presses his lips in to a thin line. “That’d be a start...” When he feels San’s growing agitation, he finally looks up at him. “You don’t have to go into detail about anything if you don’t wanna, but dude, you can’t just pretend whatever is on your mind isn’t, ya know?”

His words don’t seem to persuade him to talk, at least he thinks they don’t when the other man picks up the closest sheet of paper next to him...and then throws it back down and sits in a huff back in his chair. “She just... she just won’t open up to me. Like, I’m trying so hard here and there’s that barrier between us. Last night,” his tone softens a little as the memory washed over him, “it seemed like things were shifting. Like she was starting to let me in.”

He take a few seconds to calm the growing irritation he felt. “I extended an olive branch and when it was her turn, she just...shut me out again. I mean, I suppose she tried to offer an alternative by letting me stay with her--” he ignored the other’s raised brows “--but it wasn’t the same.”

Even with the holes and lack of your side of the story, Hongjoong had an idea of the whole situation. “Right, I can’t believe what I’m about to say but...are you sure she’s not totally at fault for that?” He notices the look he sends him. “Okay, hear me out. Imagine you’re in her shoes and some rando just up and kidnapped you. No matter how nicely you treat her, she isn’t going to bare the deepest parts of her soul to you after a few weeks. She’s not trusting, like she’s a... like a...”

He tried to find the right analogy, right at the tip of his tongue, but San beat him to it with a quiet answer. “Like a wounded animal.”

“Uh... Yeah. I think. She’s got that vibe about her, that she’s been hurt before and so keeps herself closed off. And maybe you need to think about yourself too. With what we do, you’re going to have to keep secrets from her--you are keeping secrets from her by being cryptic and not willing to answer her questions. I mean, you’re not entirely wrong for not wanting to tell her about the Jeongs, but do you really think she would want to give up any of those pieces of herself she holds so close to her chest to someone who won’t fully do the same for her?”

Hongjoong has a strong sense you’re a lot more intelligent than what you make yourself seem, but he doesn’t say that. “I don’t know what to do or how to fix your situation--only you and Y/N can do that--but you should at least see her side of things too. And maybe just take it a bit easy when you’re this annoyed because you’re not getting much done and that’s pissing you off even more.”

“...Geez, dude. Okay.” San rubs his hands over his face and sighs. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll, uh... are you good with handling this?”

“It’s literally my job.”

“Alright,” he huffs in amusement, then stands up to gather his coat and phone, ready to call his driver to take him back to the apartment. “Oh, and--”

Hongjoong cuts him off without looking back at him. “Yeah, everything’s ready at home. I’ll let the house staff know that we’re coming back this weekend and to make sure it’s all perfect.”

San smiles at him in gratitude. “What would I do without you?”

“Not a damn thing, that’s for sure.”

Yeah, Hongjoong doesn’t need to be told if he’s a good Second. He damn well knows it from the grateful look in his best friend’s eye. That’s enough for him

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jasntodds · 7 months ago

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Penance Chapter 2 Teaser - Full Chapter coming 6/12

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader Teaser Words: 1,716 Chapter Warnings: Swearing, a little bit of angst, some fluff, mentions of death, mentions of injuries, mentions of canon violence Summary: ❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞ It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right? Right? A/N: I'm having problems with my taglist?? I'm trying desperately to get it to work properly so please bear with me lol I'm always going to post some sort of update when this fic will be posted just in case so you can search my blog under "penance" if you haven't been tagged in anything in a week!! A teaser or chapter will be posted every week!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

Jason heads out to find Tim, daunting his Red Hood gear and helmet. The drive isn’t too far from his safe house but it is raining tonight, on and off. Yesterday was nice, warm and no rain. It's a bit of a depressing contrast between the two days. The street lights reflect off the wet pavement and Jason isn't entirely sure what he's going to do when he gets there. All he knows is Tim will probably need help and he'll just take it from there. It's not exactly how he wants to approach any situation but he's not sure what Tim will even be doing.

Jason pulls up to a building across the street from an alley where some, surely, illegal deal of sorts is going down. Apparently, Tim is supposed to be here eventually so Jason parks the bike in the dark of his alley before he uses a grappling hook to get to the roof of the building just so he can see better. And then he waits.

Meanwhile, you've made your place on the roof overlooking the alley with the van, knowing this is where Tim will be. And you can’t help but feel excited to see him. You miss him a lot even if it is a little hard to be happy it's under the circumstances of Robin. There's also the bit of dread and excitement over seeing Jason, working with Jason.

Seeing him means there's going to have to be some sort of conversation over the two of you being unable to pick up a phone and call each other. There's going to be some sort of conversation about everything that happened. It's going to bring back all of the pain all over again. Will you even be able to pick up where you left off? Or will you fall into an awkward dance where you both just fumble over each other until Tim leaves? Or will it be worse? But, seeing him, being around him, always felt the most like home and you really hope he's okay and happy. You're excited just to see how he's doing.

You're laying on your stomach to take cover while you watch over the ledge but your fingers tap wildly against the pavement at the thought. It’s the hope this goes okay, that he doesn’t hate you. That Tim is happy to see you both. That Tim doesn’t get killed in the first five minutes of being Robin. Excitement, dread, and anxiety flood your system. Why did you agree to this?

Commotion starts from below you and you see Tim on the top of a car while the goons are loading their van. Even in the low light, you can tell the suit is a little different than Jason's and Dick's. The cape definitely is with its jagged edges and it's longer. It fits him actually. You stand on the edge of the roof, grappling hook in hand and knife in the other, ready to slide down the second things get out of hand.

Tim handles himself okay at first but then they outnumber him and they’re faster than he is and better. You know Tim has had a few training sessions but by the looks of it, they could not have been very long or helpful. Things start looking pretty bad for him so you use the grappling hook to lower yourself down but before your feet even hit solid ground, shots ring through the alley, taking out one of the men and then the other. Just as your feet hit the ground, you nail the last one with a knife, turning to face down the alley with your arms crossed. And there he is, walking confidently with a gun in hand.

Of course, he beat you to it.

Jason's eyes widen behind his helmet. He did not expect to see you tonight. Kind of like last night, seeing you throws him off. It's a bit jarring somehow. Gotham might be a big city but you travel in the same circles, it was bound to happen. Just...two nights in a row seems...odd.

“I had that covered.” You state through your mask.

Jason can taste his heartbeat in his throat as he keeps closing the distance between you. Your mask always muffled your voice a little but it's still his favorite sound. He can feel his cheeks burning and a smile desperate to cross his lips. Jason bites it back, trying to keep his composure.

“Where the fuck did you even come from?” Jason quips back.

You point to the roof. “Clearly. And you?” You question, keeping your voice flat and curious, trying to conceal your own nerves.

Jason points a thumb over his shoulder. “Clearly.” He echoes as he stands next to you.

It all clicks then, this was definitely a setup by Dick. Of all fucking people, Dick Grayson is doing this shit? Jason swears up and down this is getting ridiculous. Bruce, Molly, Gar, Dick? They are all trying to get them to communicate and...maybe they have a point even if Jason never wants to admit it. Not when two of those people are Bruce and Dick. But, he can’t focus on that or how this is sending his head into a tailspin.

He needs to help Tim which means he can't let his feelings for you get in the way even if ignoring them is one of the hardest things he's ever done. He has to act normal and like being next to you doesn't make him want to explode. He needs to keep his cool, keep the smile from ripping apart his lips because even if this is a setup and he should be mad, he misses you so fucking much it physically pains him. He can't find himself to be mad because you'll never abandon Tim so even if you don't speak to Jason while you help him, at least he gets to see you as you. Like old times even if it doesn’t last and for that, Jason is happy.

Jason reaches behind his head, releasing the helmet before he takes it off and you swear you swallowed your heart. He looks so good. “Who the fuck are you supposed to be?” Jason calls, eyes locked on Tim and you think you've melted at the sound of his voice.

His voice is somehow better than you remember it. A little calloused, a little rough, but not too deep. It always fit him so well and you've never been so thankful to have a mask that covers the lower half of your mouth because your lips are curling into the most uncontrollable smile. Every piece of reservation you had about seeing him completely flies out of the window.

Jason Todd has always had his type of gravitation pull like a planet lost in the universe and you've just been sucked right back into it.

You miss him so fucking much.

Tim looks down to his chest, right at the R symbol before he looks back to Jason. “I’m Robin.” Tim states as if Jason should have known.

The subtle hint of a smile comes over Jason’s lips seeing someone else in the Robin suit. It’s weird because it almost feels…hurtful. It hurts a little seeing someone else in a position where he was, not in a jealous way but in a way that he is reminded that was him. He was Robin and he fucked up and now he’s not. It hurts in the way he’s reminded of it being ripped away from his bloody hands. The suit is different, Jason clocks almost every difference in the first few seconds but it is similar. Jason was beaten to death in something similar with the same mantle. There’s almost this part of him that even worries about it. Robin didn’t work for Dick. He didn’t die as Robin but it didn’t work for him. Jason was killed. Where’s that going to leave Tim?

On the other hand though, there is something about someone else taking up Robin that feels good. Jason died but Robin didn’t. Robin never had to die with Jason and he shouldn’t. The people need a Robin and he doesn’t really know Tim but you do and Gar does. He trusts you both and Tim looks thrilled to be here. It’s a mix but there is something kind of nice seeing the resurrection of Robin.

“Hey.” You chime as you walk closer to him.

Tim’s smile splits his face. “Hey, how’d you know I’d be here?”

“Molly tracked you the second a Robin showed up. Knew it was you.” You laugh softly before you pull him into a gentle hug. “You should have told me.” You say as you pull away, your hands coming to his shoulders as you look over the suit, noticing all the difference between this one and Jason’s.

“Yeah, I thought I could handle this.” Tim chuckles sheepishly, realizing he was a little in over his head tonight but not lacking in any of his confidence to do this job.

“Clearly, you were wrong.” Jason closes the distance between you. “You’re lucky we showed up when we did.” Jason stands right beside you as you drop your hands from his shoulders, maybe you looking over the suit makes him want to chew his tongue out of his mouth.

“Yeah, I got that.” Tim nods his head. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” The smile reaches your eyes as you beam back at Tim.

Jason’s eyes narrow at you slightly. You seem awfully happy. He knows Tim is your friend but you just seem overly happy or maybe he’s in his own head about it. He just remembers that day picking you up from Titans Tower and it was...similar. It's like he's getting stabbed in the chest and the base of his throat knowing you were not happy to see him tonight. The very thought of your feelings disappearing makes him feel like his rib cage might collapse on itself. So, he pushes it away as far as he possibly can and bites back his own words, trying to just be relieved you look happy instead of pissed off Dick set you up. He’s just thankful you haven’t run away. Yet.

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