#i love the holidays it smells like cinnamon and drama

[velciatem]

it's still november

merry christmas everyone

[rangerbarbz]

First Time

Author’s Note: Y’all i am so sorry it’s been so long since i posted a fic. I am a junior in college and i have two jobs so i have been so busy. However expect some more stories now that it’s winter break! Hope everyone is having some happy holidays 🫶🏼

Summary: Reader and Ford go all the way for the first time together

It was a chilly night in Gravity Falls, Oregon when Stanford Pines and you decided to make some cookies. It was the perfect atmosphere for baking: comfy clothes, the temperature had dropped down, and the sun dipped behind the woods surrounding the Mystery Shack. The rest of the Pines family had went on an excursion to break into the theatre for a free movie, so you can’t imagine they would be back anytime soon.

Ford and you were in the kitchen trying to figure out what to make with the few ingredients you had available.

“Hmmm… So I’m seeing cinnamon here,” you said, looking into a cabinet next to the fridge. “I’m not seeing much else. What do you think about Snickerdoodles?” You grinned excitedly and faced Ford who was already smiling.

“Whatever you want, sweetheart,” he replied, his voice resonating in you. God, his voice was so attractive. You remember hearing him talk for the first time in the library where you worked and your heart just melting.

He was in the fantasty section talking to himself when you walked by the aisle to reshelf a book. He was in the same area where the book needed to be relocated. Turns out you were holding the novella he was wanting to read, and you two struck up a conversation. He was kind and smelled delightful. You were too shy to ask him for his number, but a young girl who came into the library once a week for a crocheting club set you up on a date. You were unaware at the time this young girl was his great niece. The rest is history.

“Do you think everyone else will like them? I want to make sure these won’t go to waste,” you asked, scrunching your eyebrows together.

Ford scoffed as he was scraping flour from a measuring cup back into the bag. “Please, those things will be devoured. You have nothing to worry about.”

You laughed softly, standing up on your tip toes to press a kiss to his cheek. “Glad to hear that.” A small smile spread across his face.

While you two prepared the ingredients and mixed everything together, you filled Ford in on the workplace drama. He would never admit it, but he loved to gossip with you.

“I can’t believe Denise would do that,” he said in disbelief, shaking his head. “I mean who does she think she is?” You rolled the last ball of cookie dough in cinnamon and sugar before pressing it into the pan.

“Right?! Like come on, now. I thought we were civilized.” Ford chuckled at your comment and put the cookies in the oven.

“Some people just never learn.” He snaked his arm around your waist and put a hand on your hip, bringing you closer to him. You placed your hand on his broad back and leaned your head on his chest.

“We got about 25 minutes until these are done. Wanna see what’s on TV?” you suggested, looking up at him. He cocked his head to the side.

“Sure. I think that’s enough time to get through half an episode of ‘Ghost Harassers.’”

“Ah, man. Dipper’s got you hooked doesn’t he?” You giggled and began to walk into the living room, him following suit.

Ford sighed. “Unfortunately, yes. I know it’s fake, but their reactions to these so-called ghosts are so funny.” He sat down on the recliner while you fiddled with the TV antenna to get it to the right channel.

It finally flickered to a group of men with flashlights running through an abandoned house screaming. “Ah! Got it!” you exclaimed. You ran over to Ford and sat on his lap. Your legs draped over his, feet hanging over the armrest. This time he kissed your cheek, his stubble tickling your face.

“Good job, dear,” he murmured in your ear. Butterflies formed in your stomach from hearing his low voice.

“Thanks, baby.” You leaned your head on his shoulder as one of his arms cradled you. He was so strong; you always felt protected by him. One hand was splayed across your stomach while the other was on your knee.

You were so engrossed in the show you didn’t notice Ford wasn’t paying a lick of attention. You were wearing loose shorts which exposed much of your legs, and he was entranced.

You lifted your head up to look at him, eyes drifting over your thighs. His hand remained still on your knee, however.

“Stanford?” You had a mischievous smile on your face.

He quickly looked over at you like he had just been caught doing something wrong. Since the lights were still on, you could see the blush spread across his face.

“Something catch your eye?” you teased, inching your face closer to his.

“I-uh. My apologies. I was distracted.” He cleared his throat and returned his eyes to the TV. Oh, so he was going to play dumb? You were going to drag it out of him.

“M-hmm. What was distracting you?” You egged on. He glanced over at you and back to the TV.

“Your, um, legs. They just looked very nice.” Ford answered quietly, avoiding eye contact with you. It was so cute to see Ford get flustered.

You had kissed and hugged, but never went much further than that. It was hard to find alone time, and Ford could be hesitant about showing affection. This didn’t bother you, though. You were willing to wait how ever long you needed to for him. He had been through a lot, so it’s reasonable for him to want to take things slow and gain trust.

“Ford, you can touch my legs if you want,” you reassured him, placing a hand on his. “Do whatever you want. I don’t mind.” You gave him soft kiss on his lips and cupped his face in your hands. Your fingers slid through his silver hair and down the nape of his neck.

He sighed into your mouth and you felt his hand slowly creep up your leg. His other was on the small of your back. His hand began to slowly travel up and down your leg, stopping to squeeze every now and then as you continued the kiss.

God, he was being so gentle with you and all you can think about is ripping his clothes off.

You shifted your body so you were straddling him without breaking contact with his lips. His hands started to squeeze your thighs a little harder, his thumbs rubbing your inner thighs.

You whined a little against his lips. You could feel his lips turn into a smile. You decided to deepen the kiss by opening your mouth and sliding your tongue along his lips. You felt him shiver as he welcomed you. What started as an innocent kiss began to turn into a make-out sesh. His hands had moved to your hips and were gripping them. Not tightly enough to hurt you, but enough to feel oh so good.

You broke away from the kiss when you heard the oven timer go off. “Dammit, cookies,” you joked, getting up from Ford’s lap. “Don’t move. I’ll be back for you, handsome.” You quickly pecked his nose and made your way into the kitchen. The Snickerdoodles smelled delicious as you pulled them out of the oven. You placed the pan on the stove top not wanting to damage the kitchen table from the heat. You removed your oven mitts from your hand and placed them back in the drawer where they came from.

“Cookies are done! Just-“ You were cut off by Ford scooping you into his arms and carrying you to his room. You were giggling uncontrollably all the way there feeling like a bride on her honeymoon.

He pushed open his bedroom door and gently placed you on his bed. He sat beside you, his eyes staring earnestly into yours. He took your hands into his, fingers intertwining perfectly together.

“Y/N, I’ve been thinking,” he started. “I am tired of dancing around these feelings I have for you. I want to be completely vulnerable.”

You were a little worried as to what he was about to tell you.

“I’m in love with you. I love everything about you, and I know in my heart this is deeper than surface level admiration. And…if you’ll let me. I want to show you just how much I love you.”

Tears started to well up in your eyes. You lifted your hand into his and began to plant kisses on each of his knuckles. “Oh, Stanford. I would be honoured, but are you sure you want to move forward like that? I know you like to take things slow.”

He shook his head and smiled at you while using his thumb to wipe away the tear falling down your cheek. “I’m totally sure. I was holding back my affections for you because I was scared. I’ve never felt this strongly for someone before, and I didn’t want to make careless mistakes. Now all I want is you. If you’ll have me, that is.”

You grinned and nodded your head eagerly. “Yes, please.” His face was pink perhaps from the whirlwind of emotions you both were experiencing.

He leaned forward his hands holding your face now. His movements were more sure than they had ever been before. You laid on your back, letting him take charge.

Your innocent kiss quickly turned rampant, exploring each other’s mouths. Your hands gripping his broad shoulders and moving through his hair once again. His elbows were on either side of your head, his breath becoming more ragged. His lips moved from yours to kiss down your neck. You moaned into his ear as sucked on a spot in the dip of your collarbones. There was sure to be a hickey there in the morning, but you didn’t mind. There was something erotic about having a mark from him.

Ford kissed down the other side of your neck, leaving yet another sign he was there on your collarbone. His mouth went to your ear to whisper, “May I take off your shirt?”

“Yes,” you hissed. That was all he needed. His fingers tugged the hem of your oversized shirt and pulled it over your head. You weren’t wearing a bra which had Ford somewhat short-circuiting. His eyes drank you in, eyes trying to capture your beauty permanently in his mind. He stared for so long you had become a tad insecure, so you crossed your arms over your breasts.

“No, no,” he moved your arms away quickly. “I’m sorry, dear. You’re just so…beautiful.” You felt your face heat up. His eyes were just so full of adoration, and it made you nervous.

“Thank you,” you replied softly. He smiled gently and started to kiss down your chest. They were as soft as feathers. He then kneaded at your breasts, letting out a sharp exhale. His calloused hands felt wonderful against you. His thumb caressed your nipple before he put it in his mouth. You yelped at the contact. His tongue swirled around your aerola as his other hand pinched your hard nipple between his fingers.

“F-Ford,” you breathed, your hands gripping his hair. He had began to suck at your nipple and repeated the same actions to your other breast.

He continued to move down your body, leaving a trail of kisses down your stomach. He got to your loose shorts and looked at you as to ask for permission. You nodded, your face becoming hotter.

Ford’s eyes glinted with lust as he looked into your eyes. “You know, I loved the way you said my name. Can’t wait to hear you say it more.” You could barely register how smooth that line was before he was removing your pajama bottoms. You didn’t wear underwear to bed so you were now completely exposed.

Ford sat up to look you up and down. His lips were parted slightly, and his hands gently rubbed your thighs. He looked at you in disbelief.

“Y/N, you are the most heavenly sight I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” Ford murmured. “You look like art.” His eyes had gazed down back to your now dripping core, but you couldn’t wipe the grin off your face. He sure knew how to worship his woman.

“But frankly, my dear, I’m about to be very disrespectful to you,” he mumbled, his lips kissing your inner thighs.

“Oh God,” you moaned. He was making his way to your center but taking his sweet time. Ford was a loving man. However, you could tell a primal part of him had been awakened.

His placed sweet kisses along your folds before flicking his tongue along your clit to tease you. You cried out in pleasure as he dove into you. He licked a stripe inside you and moved his tongue back and forth. You heard him moan deeply as he tasted you. Your brain was becoming foggy from how good everything felt and how he enjoyed pleasing you. Your thighs pressed against the side of his head; his hands were massaging your hips.

“Stanford, please. I want to feel you.” You needed him so bad. He lifted his head up from your thighs, slick covering his chin and lips. His hair was a ruffled mess. God, he looked good.

“Of course, sweetheart.” His finger rubbed along your entrance. He breathed heavy as he slid a finger into you. You let out a sharp inhale as you adjusted to him.

“Ford…”

“You feel so, so good.” Ford pumped his finger back and forth in you. Your eyes were closed and your legs had started to shake. “Fuck,” he said under his breath. Seeing you come apart underneath him was almost too much for Ford.

You had decided that he had done enough for you. It was time to return the favor. “Baby, baby. I wanna ride you.” Ford stopped and slowly removed himself from you.

“Are you sure?” he asked. I don’t mind-“ You pushed him down onto the bed and climbed on top of him. You grabbed his face and kissed him passionately.

You separated from the kiss to see his eyes wide and a tinge of pink on his cheeks. “Take off your shirt,” you demanded. He quickly removed his loose red shirt to reveal a toned, yet scarred body. You had actually seen him shirtless before accidentally when he came out of the shower in just a towel so this wasn’t a shock. You found it incredibly attractive. Although, it took lots of convincing for him to believe you.

You ran your hands over his chest and kissed him once more. “You’re so sexy, Stanford,” you whispered to him before biting his earlobe. You spastically kissed him all over his body, letting your hands now roam over his muscular arms. You couldn’t tell it by looking at him, but he was packing some heat under those sweaters. You were also grinding down on his painfully erect dick which caused him to whimper.

Ford sat up and held you close to him as you fumbled with pulling down his sweatpants. He sprang free and you lowered yourself onto him. He let out a guttural moan as he felt your walls tighten around him. His forehead was against your shoulder while you bounced up and down on him. His strong hands had grabbed onto your ass, his fingers pressing into the tended flesh.

“Y/N…Oh my…” You held his face in your hands, making him look you in the eyes while you fucked him. He had a loving look; you had an animalistic one.

“I’m… Not going to last much longer, darling,” he said between breaths.

“Me neither baby.” It was the truth. He already almost had you with his finger, but now that his length was inside you, you didn’t stand a chance. Your legs had started twitching and you threw your head back, allowing Ford to assault your neck further. His arms were now wrapped around you as you came insanely hard. You thought you were gonna see stars. It only took a couple more seconds for him to fill you up. His chest heaved up and down as he collapsed on his bed with you on top of him.

“That was…wonderful,” he sighed, placing a kiss against your temple.

“Agreed, but I think we need a shower after that,” you suggested.

Ford raised one of his eyebrows at you. “Round two?”

You laughed and smacked his shoulder. “Oh you bet.”

P.S. I didn’t look over this so if you see a typo or bad grammar no you didn’t

[magiccath]

Weirdly specific headcanons (10th doctor x reader)

a/n: finals fried my brain so this is all I got for y'all let me know if you like this

When you’re anxious or freaking out he places your hands on his chest to feel his heartbeats

Has a whole drawer full of ties, if you voice interest he will let you pick them out every morning 

He smells like strong tea, cinnamon, and caramel candy

Gets excited over the smallest things

Seriously, will dance happily over a pair of polka-dot socks if you give them to him

He wears patterned socks and/or patterned boxers I don’t have evidence just take my word for it 

Takes you to see the most beautiful galaxies but spends the whole time looking at you cause nothing is more beautiful to him

He absolutely loves a girls' night with you and Donna

I’m talking pedicures, sparkly drinks, and spilling drama 

Loves it when you trace the lines between his hundreds of freckles, connecting the dots

Sometimes you wake up before him and just trace his face, but always feign innocence when he wakes up

"I wasn't doing anything" 

He dances with you around the TARDIS, even when there isn’t music playing 

He gives you soft kisses on the tip of your nose

The only time he ever sleeps is when he’s cuddling you. Most nights that means you fall asleep in each other's arms 

Subsequently, he falls asleep during movies if you cuddle (and sometimes when you don’t)

You pull him in for kisses by his tie and it drives him crazy 

When he isn’t busy running around time and space he absolutely loves to read 

Is very good friends with Tolkien and Lewis and will take you to meet and chat with them if you want

His sheets are dark blue and silk (once again, I have no evidence I just know)

He wears bunny slippers

spontaneously decides when to celebrate holidays because time is just a concept

[bananxjin]

Trophy Wife || 8

↦ Coworker!Seokjin x Reader

↦ WC: 8,729

↦ Drama || Angst || Fluff || Slow Burn

↦ Trigger Warnings: One night stand/Light smut in the beginning, Reader cries a lot, Mentions of past abuse, Swearing

↦ Tagged: @lysannnnaa​, @vanillanjin​

↦ Summary: You thought you knew what you wanted – You were sure you knew what you wanted. You thought the be-all and end-all was a loving, domestic marriage with your fiance, Touru Kim; the love of your life, the future father of your children, and the man of your dreams, but things happen. Events begin to unfold, and the relationship falls apart. You see the true colors of your husband-to-be, and you realize that maybe he’s not what you built him up to be. With everything laid out in front of you, you knew the be-all and end-all was a loving, domestic marriage.

Just not with Touru.

✨ Masterlist ✨

**

Early November…

Usually, this was Jin’s most favorite time of year.

Usually.

When the time has finally come for the air to cool down and he can break out all his favorite sweaters. The way there were leaves in varying shades of reds and yellows littering the ground. Or how all the delicious holiday foods were back in season and it was finally justifiable for the apartment to smell like cinnamon and toasted marshmallows. In many ways, Jin believed he romanticised this special time of year.

But for now, things would be a little different. A little more stressful. With Yoongi leaving in another year's time, he and Hobi had no choice but to start looking for their own places since this apartment was way too expensive for the two of them, and they weren’t really interested in rooming with someone who wasn’t Yoongi.

Jin was lucky enough to find the place that he did. Sure, he still had nearly an hour's worth of driving to his second job, but this place was perfect in every other aspect. He’d be a fool to pass up on it. Yoongi and Hobi were ecstatic when they’d heard he signed for it earlier this week, and insisted they all went out to celebrate.

It took some convincing, mostly because it meant Jin would be passing up a bartending shift, but he’d caved in the end. There was some unnecessary debate about where they’d be going to celebrate because Jin already knew the one place that’d stand out above all the others.

HI-Lites.

It was HI-Lites everytime no matter what. It seemed to be the only decent bar within a twenty mile radius. He didn’t mean to complain or seem ungrateful. HI-Lites created a lovely atmosphere for all who visited with vibrant music mixed with the softened glow of neon lights. Velvety plush booths and a stainless steel countertop which the bartender always swore up and down was so clean you could eat off it.

Jin never attempted to.

Not to mention, 90% of the patrons were regulars. It might as well have been its own little community with the way everyone practically knew one another. It certainly wasn’t uncommon to run into an old friend or even a colleague some nights. There were plenty of reasons for HI-Lites to be their favorite bar, but Jin just wasn’t in the partying spirit tonight.

In fact, Jin would argue that he’d been going out of his way to ignore this place ever since he ran into you and your friend that night. He couldn’t help but now associate the establishment with the vivid memory of you looking like something that’d just stepped out of a dream. He caught himself a couple times taking glimpses up towards the bar just hoping he’d spot your figure sitting up there once again, but to no avail.

He felt guilty. Here his friends had been hyping him up all week long and made time in their schedules to spend this time with him, but all he could think about was you. His eyes and his heart would only search for you.

Although it wasn’t like Jin’s crush was a secret in this household. No, his friends were quick to pick up on his little crush and seized every opportunity to tease him about it. That was at least until they realized how familiar the situation seemed to his previous one. Then they changed their tune real quick.

They’d talked to him about it on several occasions, reminding how broken up he’d been over Her, and they didn’t want him to make the same mistake twice. He lost count of how many times they’ve had this conversation. How many times he’s stressed to them that it won’t happen this time. Because even if he did have a chance, he knew you’d never be the type to play such twisted games to get one over on your partner. Or rather, an ex-partner.

“Hi boys!”

“Hi, Mina!” Echoed Yoongi and Hobi’s response in a light chorus.

She smiled, eyeing Jin for a moment longer than she did the others. “Haven’t seen you three in awhile! What’s going on?” She asked, sliding into the rounded booth right beside Hobi. Yoongi, having noticed Jin’s spacey stare, gave a sharp kick to his shin beneath the table.

“Why don’t you tell her, Jin?” Yoongi quipped, giving him a sickly sweet smile. Immediately, Mina’s curious eyes found him.

“Oh? Tell me what?” Jin cleared his throat. “Uhm. We’re celebrating.” He responded vaguely, reaching down to rub his still very sore leg.

“I signed a lease for my own apartment, and I’ll be moving in come the new year.” At this, Mina’s face lit up with her full smile and rounded cheeks. “Wow, that sounds wonderful! I’m so happy for you!” She giggled.

“Let me buy your next drink, yeah? Just a little something to congratulate you with?” She offered. “Oooh, we should all do a round of shots!” Hobi added, giddy at the thought of free drinks.

“I don’t know, gang…” Jin shied away. “Shots sound like a great idea! Any preferences?”

After deciding they’d leave the decision up to her, Mina disappeared into the crowd with a promise of bringing back more alcohol.

“Dude!” Hobi blurted once she was out of ear shot. “Are you fucking blind? Why do you always try to push her away?”

“I’m not trying to do anything.” Jin retorted.

Okay. That might’ve been a lie. It’s no secret that Mina liked him. Every Time she’s caught him here, she’d do everything short of throwing herself into his arms. Anything just to get even an ounce of his attention.

This wasn’t even the first time she’s offered to buy his drink, and she was always flirting with him. It’s been this way for as long as he can remember. And while Jin’s flattered, he’s just never been as interested in her as she was him.

“Ya know,” Yoongi interjected, throwing back the rest of his whiskey. “Your personalities actually match really well. I think you two could really hit it off if you’d just give her a chance.”

Jin rolled his eyes and leaned back into the velvet booth, wondering what he should say this time. Which excuse would he use to worm his way out of this conversation? His friends had been trying to push him into Mina’s arms for the last couple of months. Even more-so now that they knew he needed to get over you, but he was more concerned with hurting her. There was no doubt they’d probably have a lovely relationship, if only Jin just felt the same way…

“Maybe a night alone with Mina is just what you need to get over you-know-who.” Hobi winked. “You can say her name.” Jin tsked. “It’s not like talking about her will-”

“Here we are!” Mina interrupted as she haphazardly placed four shots on the table. “Sorry it took so long! I wanted to let the girls know what was going on.”

“Oh, we didn’t mean to take you away from your friends.” Yoongi frowned. “Hey, what if we moved up to the bar instead?”

“Ooh, yeah! Then it’d be a real celebration!” Hobi laughed. Mina hummed, “They’d be more than happy to celebrate with you guys! But I think I’ll leave the decision up to the man of the hour.”

All eyes were on him now, eagerly awaiting his answer. Was Mina offering him a way out? He really didn’t feel like it was fair for Yoongi to make such a suggestion, not like that mattered now.

“C’mon, Jin!” Whaddya say?” Hobi begged. Jin’s nervous gaze shuffled between the three of them until finally locking eye contact with Mina.

A night to forget about (Y/n)…

Your friends are right; you never really did give Mina a chance. And it’s not like you’re locked into anything, just…

Talk to her.

Mina smiled shyly and tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear. Obviously feeling flustered from holding Jin’s gaze for so long.

“Okay.”

And so the trio followed Mina back to her spot where three other ladies were waiting. Jin recognized them, but he couldn’t place any names to any faces.

Jin was sat right beside Mina, and it didn’t take long for their conversation to divulge from the others. Mina had finally gotten her wish. With Yoongi and Hobi preoccupied with her friends, she’d finally had Jin to herself. The conversation flowed easily between them. They talked almost like they were friends long ago and were finally getting the chance to catch up.

Jin was nervous at first as memories of you still lingered in the back of his mind, but as the night went on, those memories became nothing more than a fleeting thought. Jin was finally giving himself permission to let loose a little bit.

One beer turned into two. Then three. Another round of shots just for fun. Maybe one more after that because it tasted pretty good and Jin wanted to savor it this time. He was starting to forget why he’d been so depressed when he’d gotten here earlier. Eventually, the two started a drinking game. He couldn’t quite recall why or even what the rules were, but he was having fun nonetheless.

Then Mina was pulling him onto the dance floor. Her arms were around his neck, and his around her waist. Her fingers tousled at the hair on the nape of his neck, and it was turning him on.

Slowly. Ever so slowly, time had begun to escape Jin. He took a small peek over his shoulder just to make sure his friends were still there, but Mina’s warm hands found his cheeks just in time to bring his attention back to her.

The rest of the world felt so far away. Almost like they were in their own little bubble. Even his own voice was beginning to sound like gibberish in his ears, and he wondered if he was actually doing anything or if he was standing off in the background, watching somebody else have fun.

He had to blink a couple of times. No, he was sure every experience he was having was his own. Clearly some part of his brain was still high functioning. He could only see Mina. The way he was making her laugh at something he’d said. The way they were flirting with light touches and eventually closing the small space between them.

He hadn’t felt this good in a long time.

Then he blinked. And he was in the backseat of an Uber with Mina’s tiny frame pressed into his side. Palming him through his jeans and whispering dirty things into his ear. He could hear the soft moan that came from his lips, and he thought he should’ve been ashamed. But all he could focus on was the way her breath tickled his skin.

He blinked. And Mina was underneath him. Moaning his name and tugging him close to kiss him again. Had she already kissed him once? She must have. Or did he kiss her?

It didn’t matter. All he could feel was the way her pussy was squeezing him as he pumped himself in and out.

Her coal black her was splayed out across the pillow, and Jin couldn’t help sweeping one side up into his palm and giving it a light tug. She arched herself into him, crying out in ecstasy when Jin leaned in to suck blooming bruises into her neck.

God she looks fucking gorgeous like this.

And there it was. As if he’d flipped a magic switch, he’d regained some semblance of clarity. Sobriety. Just enough to feel the guilt come creeping in. She was gorgeous, and this is what she’d been wanting. She’d laid everything out for him and waited patiently until he’d finally take the bait.

His head was starting to hurt. He could feel himself inching closer and closer to coming undone with the way her heat was squeezing him. Jin dove in again, sucking more and more hickies into her skin.

He couldn’t stand to look at her anymore. He shouldn’t be doing this. This scene wasn’t meant for his eyes. It shouldn’t be meant for his eyes. He shouldn’t be enjoying her body as much as he was. It was selfish. HE was being selfish. He knew; he’s known this whole time how she’s felt, and he crossed that boundary.

It wasn’t fair to either of them, but especially not to her. Because even though she’d gotten what she wanted. Even if being with him was making her happy in the moment, nothing was going to change.

Tonight wouldn't mean anything to him.

**

“My parents are hosting a little dinner to congratulate my sister on her engagement next weekend.” Her naturally bubbly voice spoke through the receiver. “They’ve been asking about you, you know.”

He couldn’t stand to hurt her. The morning that followed their evening together, they sat in Mina’s kitchen. Had coffee together and tried to come up with ways to talk about what’d happened the night before. The usual routine for any one night stand.

Mina had been the first one to break the silence, admitting to Jin that she had, in fact, liked him for a long time. “I want to give us a chance.” She said earnestly.

Us…

It took Jin a moment to compose himself. Yoongi’s words of encouragement entangled themselves with his pounding migraine, and Jin couldn’t piece any of his thoughts together. “Mina…” He called out softly after a moment.

“I don’t know that I’m emotionally ready for a relationship. I have a lot of baggage--”

“That’s okay!” Mina reassured him. “I mean… We both still have some things we need to figure out; I know that, but…” She shied away from his gaze.

“Wouldn’t you at least like to try?” She whispered.

It broke Jin’s heart. Enough to finally give in. There was a mutual agreement: No labels on the relationship. Less of a chance for either of them to get hurt, but they wanted to make the effort -- Or rather, Mina wanted to make the effort. Because, who knows? Maybe they’d make a great team!

But Jin had been slacking recently. And he knew it. Was painfully aware everytime her name popped up on his phone or she’d shown up on his doorstep.

“They want to know when they’ll get to meet you.” She continued, reminding Jin that he was still on the phone with her. Jin nodded idly despite Mina not being able to see him. She’d been trying to plan another date for weeks now, but Jin’s evaded all attempts in doing so. Each time with the taste of guilt sitting at the back of his throat.

“It’s Saturday evening. I was wondering if you’d be able to make it.” The lilt of false hope in her voice plucked at his heartstrings. Made it that much harder to turn her down.

You should go. Just to make her happy.

“I really want to Mina, but I have my research deadline coming up soon, and I haven’t touched that paper in weeks…” Technically he’s not lying. But he knew damn well he wouldn’t be working on that monster anytime soon.

“You told me that paper’s not even due until April!” She sighed. “C’mon. You can’t spare just one night?”

Jin frowned, completely understanding her frustration with him. Mostly because he wished he could just learn how to tell people no. Or maybe tell Mina what was really going on. How he really felt. That way it wouldn’t feel like he was dragging her along anymore.

“I’m really sorry, Mina.” He apologized. “I promise you’ll see me soon.”

It didn’t take long for her to end the call after that, giving Jin some time to breathe. The phone fell onto the wooden table with a little more force than he’d intended, creating a sharp echo across the breakroom. Thankfully nobody else seemed to be around. He crossed his arms and laid his head down.

It’d been two weeks. Two weeks since he saw the bruises on your arms. Two weeks since he’d heard your voice. Two weeks since you’d been into work.

He texted you a couple times the first week. Called once just to make sure everything was okay, but it sent him straight to your voicemail.

He hung up.

The only thing reassuring him that you were still employed and above all else, alive was knowing Namjoon and Seulgi had both heard from you regarding every shift since then. He tried asking about you, but they simply told him you weren’t feeling well, and left it at that.

He knew they couldn’t share anything with him beyond that; it was common sense. Other associates’ business was strictly confidential, and really they were giving him more information than they needed to just by saying that. But at least it was something.

It wasn’t until he was back on the floor, going through the motions when he felt like he could finally release some of the tension built up in his chest. It was faint. Hardly something that would rouse his attention any other day, but he’d caught wind of your name being called out by one of the cashiers.

His hands stopped whatever they’d been doing. His body stood completely still. He eyed the doorway of the Men's dressing room. Not so much expecting you to walk through, but god he’d hoped.

There was a chill crawling up the back of his spine. A slight tingle in his fingertips, like his body knew what to expect, yet he didn’t. Looking down at his scanner, he tapped on the screen for confirmation.

6:18 PM

Four hours until closing. It would line up perfectly if you’d just clocked on. An unexpected bout of shyness washed over him. His cheeks. His ears. His neck. Everything felt warm at the thought of seeing you. Even if you wouldn’t speak to him; even if you’d told him you wanted nothing to do with him, just knowing you were safe would be enough.

He swallowed, forgetting what he was meant to be doing. Until he heard the telltale echo of timid footsteps on laminate floors approaching the Men’s dressing room.

He continued to stare holes into the backs of his hands until his vision unfocused. Listening intently to the footsteps until they were echoing off the walls of the tiny room he occupied. Until there was a clear indication he was no longer alone.

They faltered for a moment. As if they hadn’t expected anyone else to be here, but he didn’t seem to scare them off, walking closer until there were on the other side; standing shoulder to shoulder with him, staring at the wall of clothes that would need to be sent back out onto the floor. But nothing beyond that.

So it was you…

His mind eventually caught up to him, and all too quickly Jin realized how fucking stupid he must’ve looked right about now. How creepy it must’ve been for him to just be standing there like statue, his gaze burning holes into the wall as if that would somehow make him move. Make him focus on doing his job instead of worrying about you.

But you didn’t make any attempts to move either. Didn’t speak or give any indication you were even there aside from simply existing in the same space as him.

Out of his peripheral, he could tell your head was tilted down, fingers tightly wound together like you were paying your respects at a funeral. Neither of you moved a muscle.

The silence wasn’t uncomfortable. But it certainly wasn’t welcomed either. Jin couldn’t imagine what this scene might look like to a stranger had anybody decided to walk in, but to you and him, this would have to be enough for now. Enough to exist silently in this tiny, enclosed space. Enough to know that there’s no judgement nor urgency to fill the still space between them. Something akin to becoming acquainted with each other again, but for the first time.

There was no animosity. No abundance of energy or need to comfort.

It just Was.

“Hi, stranger.” Finally breaking the silence, your voice melted away any remaining anxiety seizing his bones. Part of that wall had been chipped away, and he could see you again. His lips upturned into the tiniest grin.

“Hi.”

You swallowed, clearly unsure of what to say or how to handle the situation now that it’d been acknowledged. You wren’t even sure there was anything you could say. Now didn’t seem like the right time for it. Like you’d already messed up before you’d been given the chance. Still, you wanted to try.

“I really…”

You cleared your throat. “I really missed you.”

Jin’s stomach lurched up into his throat. He wasn’t expecting that sort of response, but he was relieved to know he wasn’t the only one that’d been hurting for your company.

“I missed you too.” His throat cracked. “How’ve you been?”

You shrugged, tightening your fingers around each other until your knuckles turned bright white. “Not good.” You whispered. “I think…”

Jin finally turned his head in your direction. Just enough to catch your side profile. You didn’t look at him.

“I think I need somebody to hold right now.”

And somehow, that was all it took. Those were the magic words that broke the spell. In one short movement, Jin had your wrapped up in a comforting embrace which you gladly accepted. The glue keeping you together was already thin, and now it was melting away. But Jin’s hug prevented you from crumbling. Instinctively, you held him tighter and he returned the sentiment tenfold.

His chin locked over your shoulder while your face stay buried in the crook of his neck. There were still so many things left unsaid. Unspoken apologies that continued to dangle in the air above you, but they didn’t need to be spoken to be understood.

They’ve always been understood. With patience, the pressure faded away into nothing. Jin could finally breathe again, and so could you. There was never a need for any fear or doubt when it came to your friendship, and you knew. Both of you cherished the other; that much was made clear in the volume of your actions. It was just a matter of time.

Make no mistake, both you and Jin knew there was still so much to be discussed. Understanding that things couldn’t be left like this. Understanding that they couldn’t turn into this every time something went wrong. There needed to be a clear line of communication.

You felt like at this point, you owed it to him. No more keeping him in the dark. No more keeping secrets to protect him. Jin was a grown man. He wouldn’t run away at the first sign of trouble. He’s always been there, and as long as you’d allow it, he’d continue to be there. But all of that would come in due time. There was no need to fill this silence with word vomit.

For now, this was enough. This was more than enough.

And so in the hidden confines of a public dressing room, the two of you continued to share a long, comforting, and much needed hug. Warnth and safety in each other’s embrace.

“Come back to my place tonight.” Jin whispered.

You nodded. You didn’t need to be asked twice.

__

His apartment looked so much more different since the last time you’d been there. Granted, last time you were here, it was completely barren. Unlived for so long until he’d come to make it his own. The futon with the busted leg stuck out like a sore thumb being sat in the middle of the room, but now there was a large tan rug unfolded across the living space with splashes of blue and red, thus creating a deep purple where the two colors met.

Navy curtains adorned the floor to ceiling windows, perfectly shaping around the sliding glass door leading to his balcony. You couldn’t help the low buzz of giddiness in the pit of your stomach. It felt all too intimate standing in his apartment this late at night. Comfortably. Knowing you had nowhere else to be except for Dahyun’s apartment when the night would eventually come to a close.

There was light conversation as Jin led you through the lounge and out onto the balcony. He offered to get you a drink which you were happy to accept. He also grabbed the quilted blanket which lay folded neatly on the back of the couch.

Cool air rushed at your face as you stepped outside, and Jin as quick to wrap the quilt over your shoulders. You quietly thanked him. He flipped on the fairy lights and pulled one chaise lounger just a bit closer to the other. The only thing preventing them from being pushed together was the dark end table between them.

It was a nice little nook cut out just for them. The walls extended away from his apartment, giving them ultimate privacy from his neighbors. Jin handed you a beer before taking a seat on his lounger, facing you. You smiled, mirroring his actions before he handed the bottle opener over to you. The tabs came off with a satisfying pop.

The two of you sipped in silence for a bit. Once again, nothing felt uncomfortable. But rather heavy. You looked out into the night, tracing the silhouette of the city skyline off in the distance. You hadn’t known for sure what would happen when you finally came back to work. How Jin would react or treat you after going radio silent the way you did. Whatever tonight had ended up turning into, you wanted to explain yourself to him. Explain everything to him.

He’s going to run away…

You had to reassure yourself that your anxiety was lying to you. That nothing was going to happen except that you two would sit here for as long as it took. Even if you said absolutely nothing tonight, Jin would sit here with you until he knew you were okay.

You chanced a glance over at him, and he you. A gentle smile adorned his features. “So, are you going to tell me?” He asked softly, setting his bottle on the table.

You smiled back. “I wouldn’t know where to start….” He shrugged, looking back up at you. “I’ve heard the beginning is a great place for that.”

That drew a chuckle out of you. Setting your bottle down beside his, you drew your knees into your chest, and laid your cheek on top of them. You found yourself looking out towards the city once again.

Breathe…

“Touru called off our engagement.” You stated plainly. “He called it off… That last night I saw you.”

Jin nodded in understanding. “We fought really bad. Not just that night, but we’ve… We’ve been fighting a lot these last couple months.” You continued. “He told me… A lot of things the last time I saw him…”

“Like what?” He responded in a hoarse whisper.

You reached for your bottle, taking a long swig of the amber liquid before continuing. “Like how he doesn’t trust me.” You whispered back.

“How he’s been coming in…” You smirked to yourself. “Coming in to check on me.” “At work?”

You nodded. “I think that’s how he recognized you at the restaurant.” Truthfully, Jin had no idea Touru recognized him. Although he recalled Touru giving him dirty looks a couple times back then, he assumed it was because he was blatantly flirting with you in front of him.

“I don’t…” You were choking on your words before you could completely finish your thought. “I don’t want you to think it’s your fault all of this happened.” You coughed. Jin could see the tears clear as day, building up in your eyes. He made quick work moving to your side and taking a seat beside you.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He wrapped his arms around you. You all but clambered right into his lap and he let you. He held you close to him and stroked your hair.

“We have a lot of problems.” You snorted, laying your head on his shoulder. “And we haven’t always agreed on things… Actually, a lot of the disagreements turned into these… These really fucked up arguments.” Your voice cracked under pressure, swallowing around your words so you wouldn’t choke again.

Jin pulled the comforter around your shoulder and held you closer when you began to shiver. “I think this has been a long time coming, and… I don’t know. Maybe I should’ve seen it coming. But I wanted everything to work out.” You bumbled.

“I wanted us to work out. You know, he was my first love, and we’ve been together so long…” Jin’s heart broke for you. He reached out to thumb your tears away. He never wanted to see you like this.

“I just wanted us to work out…” You sniffled, pushing your face against Jin’s chest. Holding onto him like your life depended on it.

Jin frowned deeply, gently rocking you back and forth, hoping to provide any sense of comfort to you. “He’s always been a really jealous person. I don’t want to think he’s done it intentionally, but…” You sniffled again, “He’s run off so many of my friends over the last couple years. I really only talk to Chae and Dahyun now. I mean, I’ve met their friends, too. And I think we get along just fine, but…”

“I don’t have a deep friendship with those girls like I do with Dahyun and Chae. Like I do with you.” You admitted shyly. Jin understood what you meant by those words. Still, his heart jumped at the way you said it.

“And I’m sorry. I feel like these are things I should’ve told you from the beginning, but I guess I was scared.” You mumbled. “I didn’t want Touru running you off next.”

Jin smiled and tightened his hold around you. “Awe, (Y/n),” He cooed into your hair. “Touru would never scare me off. I’m too clingy.”

You snorted. You wiggled around a bit until you were able to free your other arm from the blanket so you could wrap it around his waist, giving him a proper hug.

In the dead of night. The only thing that filled the silence were the crickets and the distance noises of city traffic. Next door, his neighbor was playing an acoustic guitar. It was soft. Faint. But just enough to brighten the otherwise solemn atmosphere. Making the night just a little more comforting.

“Can I ask you something?”

You nodded.

“Did you want to leave nursing school?”

Jin’s voice had barely been above a whisper, and it took a moment for you to respond. He was worried either you didn’t hear him or maybe the question upset you.

“No.” You squeaked. “No, I didn’t want to leave.” You pulled away from him. The tears had calmed down a while ago. Although your cheeks were still puffy and your eyes were pink and bits of your hair were glued to your cheek. Jin couldn’t believe Touru could hurt you like this.

“It was just one more thing for us to argue about. I mean it was vicious the way we fought about my college and everything.” You dug the heel of your hand into your eye, trying to undo the tears dried around your lashes.

Jin nodded in response. “What are you going to do now?” “I’m not sure. Part of me wants my relationship back, but…”

You fell quiet, unable to finish your thought. Your mind had been in such a haze ever since that last night with Touru. No matter how hard you tried, it hurt too much to ever think about. Whether ending the engagement meant ending your relationship. Whether you’d try to pursue something you wanted or wait and see if he wants you back. There was still no clear ending for you.

The familiar lump was forming in your throat once again, but you didn’t want to cry anymore. You’d been messing with a loose thread in the blanket when Jin reached out to take your hands in his.

“Look at me,” He whispered. “You should do what’s going to make you happy. Even if he wants you back, you need to tell him…” He swallowed thickly, his nerves teasing him for staring into your eyes for too long.

“His ambitions aren’t your ambitions, (Y/n).”

You smiled at him, drawing circles into his hands with your thumbs. “Thank you, Jin.”

A smile. A genuine smile from you in who knows how long. And it was just for him. He couldn’t help but think about how beautiful you looked underneath the moonlight like this. Even after just crying over a man who certainly didn’t deserve you. His heart continued to pound against his chest.

He wanted to kiss you. God, he wanted to kiss you so bad, but there couldn’t be a worse time for that. You didn’t need a new relationship or a quick fuck to run to for the night. You needed a friend, and Jin was happy to be that.

The moment was broken all too soon by the light ping from your back pocket. You quickly pulled your phone out to check who was bothering you. “Ah, sorry. It’s just Dahyun checking in on me.” ou sighed, pulling your other hand away from his so you could reply.

“I should probably head out soon. She wants to know when I’m coming back.” You stood into a stretch. The blanket fell away and pooled in Jin’s lap. But he was just as quick to stand up, instinctively taking your hand in his again.

“You don’t have to!” He blurted out. “You can stay the night if you want.”

You frowned for a moment. “I dunno, Jin. Are you sure?” You questioned timidly. “I don’t think your girlfriend would appreciate me being here. Besides, don’t you have classes tomorrow?”

What?

Jin shook his head in confusion. “I only have one class in the afternoon tomorrow.” He sighed. ”As for my non-existent girlfriend, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.” He laughed. “What made you think I had a girlfriend?”

Your cheeks were turning bright pink as you took your spot back on the chaise lounger. “Uhm… I guess someone told me about your crush on Seulgi…”

“Kyla.” Jin sighed and pressed his palm into his forehead, eventually brushing his hair away.

Thump. Thump.

“Wow, you figured that one out pretty quick.” You joked lightly. Jin chuckled, “Yeah. Because she’s the only one that found out.” Slowly, the humor faded from his face. And all that was left behind was worry and maybe a sense of guilt.

“Did she…” He cleared his throat. “I mean. Is that all she said?” Too embarrassed to look him in the eye, you focused your gaze on your fidgeting hands. “Ah. She said she thought you two were probably… Well, ya know.”

“Right.” Jin sighed loudly. “And she might’ve mentioned something about Seulgi’s boyfriend…”

He groaned and leaned back into the brick wall. Rubbing a hand down his tired face, “It’s not what you think.” He mumbled into his palm. He shut his eyes. His face scrunched up like he was in pain, but he wanted to tell you.

“I’d already been working there for like… I don’t know. Almost two years, maybe? Seulgi and I would kind of flirt with each other once in awhile, and it didn’t take long for me to develop a crush on her. But she’s my manager, right?”

You nodded in agreement. “I really, really liked her. But I never thought anything would come about until one day, I was ready to go on lunch, and I could hear someone whimpering in the back offices.” He explained softly. You pulled the blanket back up to your chin, and continued watching him with puffy eyes.

“Turns out it was her. I went back there to see what was wrong; maybe comfort her if she needed it. She told me she’d broke things off with her boyfriend a couple days before, and she’d never get back with him -- Ya know, relationship drama.”

“Yeah.”

“And…” Jin’s lips stretched into a shy smile. His cheeks were turning fifty shades of red, and he had no choice but to look away. “I don’t know… I guess in a heat of the moment thing, she kissed me.” He gulped. “I felt bad. Disgusting. It was weird because I didn’t want her to feel like I was taking advantage of her, but she insisted she was the one kissing me. Because she wanted me.” His voice grew weaker. You could tell by the emotion in his face. In his voice, that this was still something that was hurting him.

“She kept telling me she wanted me. That she had wanted me for a long time, and she asked if I wanted her, too. And of course I wanted her; I’d been dreaming of this moment.” He tugged his fingers through his bangs again. One finger got caught on a knot, but he pulled it through.

“It just felt… Off. That that had to be where we started, and it should’ve been a red flag. I should’ve stopped her, but I didn’t.” He chastised himself. “After that, we started seeing each other outside of work. That’s something she was super strict about, and I could never really figure out why: We couldn’t let anybody know. What we were doing was just between us.”

“Eventually I came to the conclusion it was because of the weird power imbalance or whatever, but…” He cleared his throat. “I kept seeing her. For seven months, we had this back and forth and it felt good. It felt wonderful being wanted by someone… Being in love with someone…”

Hearing him admit to being in love with her stung pretty bad for some reason, but you didn’t let it show. Scooting closer, you took one of his hands in both of yours. He finally looked over at you, giving you a small smile. He clamped his hand gently around yours.

“She would talk to me sometimes about her ex, but she’d never mention him by name. Never said anything that would hint at them getting back together; she only ever complained about what was wrong with their relationship, and I was happy to lend an ear.”

“But I think at some point, I started getting too bold. I was flirting with her at work again; even more so than what we were used to. I’d joke around and try to play with her. I think that’s when she started to pull away.” His voice cracked. “Then one morning… She just snapped at me.”

“During the morning huddle…” You finished for him. “Irene filled me in on that much.” You added, recalling what her and Kyla told you on your first day.

So even the other managers didn’t know what was going on.

Jin nodded. “I was humiliated because she usually enjoyed my jokes, but it was like everything had come to a halt. That afternoon before I left, she pulled me into her office…” He took a deep, shaky breath.

“She told me she hadn’t been honest with me. That her and her ex had one of those on again; off again relationships. And she was getting back together wit him.” He continued. “Because despite everything, he was the one she’s in love with. Is in love with.”

Jin stopped to take another deep breath. It’d been so long since he talked about this, but never in this much detail. He hadn’t realized it would be this difficult. “She thought this time, it was really over because she’d caught him with his ex after they’d broken up last. And she thought she wanted to move on, but…” He shrugged. “She also wanted to make it work.”

You frowned and leaned your head against his shoulder. He leaned his head on top of yours. “I’m so sorry, Jin. I can’t imagine how hard that must’ve been for you.” You whispered, but he just shrugged again.

“So are they back together now?” Jin nodded. “Yeah. Her and Namjoon--”

“It’s Namjoon!?”

He nodded again. “That’s why she wanted to be discreet at work.” He smirked. “Please don’t tell anybody I told you. Our coworkers aren’t supposed to know.”

You furiously shook your head, making a zipping motion over your lips, and even though it was enough to make Jin smile, he still looked so tired. So exhausted. It was like retelling that story had aged him ten years. To Jin, it surely felt that way, too.

“Did… Did you ever tell him?”

Another nod of confirmation. “I had to. I couldn’t handle the guilt.” He sighed. “He listened to me, and I think he understood that I genuinely had no idea they were a couple. He was still angry, though. Shoved me out the door.” A humorless chuckle escaped his lips.

“Namjoon’s never been a violent guy, but I’m positive he wanted to his me that night. It was just a fucked situation all around.” He scoffed. “We went out to lunch a week later, and he apologized, and so did I. Again. and he told me this was something pretty normal for them -- That they’ll break up and get back together, and they’ve cheated on each other and all this other stuff.”

You immediately looked up at him in shock. Safe to say, his look matched yours pretty closely.

“Jesus.” You breathed. “Have they ever heard of couples therapy?” He laughed, “I know right?!”

The two of you shared a knowing smile, but the mood turned somber once again. “But anyway… He said that breakup was really bad for them for so many reasons. I didn’t want him to go into detail about it; I got the idea. But I swore I’d never get involved again because… I mean, I don’t want to. If I would’ve known they were a thing, I never would’ve gotten involved in the first place.”

Your lips downturned into a small pout. So that’s how it happened. He’s not a homewrecker or a playboy. He got caught up in something he knew nothing about. You couldn’t blame him for that.

You leaned into him again. His bicep felt surprisingly warm against your cheek. His head was resting on top of yours once more. “I’m really sorry that happened to you.” You muttered softly. Jin smiled, “It’s been a long time. I’m over it now.”

“But not over it enough to join the morning huddles anymore?” You snorted. Although you regretted it seconds later.

“I’m sorry, that didn’t--” “No, you’re right!” He laughed. “Ah. I think it’s just the humiliation. If Seulgi’s in the morning huddle, then I’ll skip it. Reminds me too much of how I felt that one time.”

“I understand.”

Your gazed panned over to the open drinks sitting on the nightstand. Right beside each other just like you and Jin, and you frowned. You couldn’t help but wonder if Jin had opened up like this to anyone else. If he’d shared moments like this with Seulgi.

He still misses her.

You could feel yourself sinking into these negative thoughts until you felt a raindrop on the tip of your nose. Then another on your cheek. And another. Until eventually, a few sparse raindrops turned into a light drizzle. That’s when you and Jin decided to turn in for the night.

You were folding the quilt when Jin spoke up. “I’m gonna go grab some spare sheets for myself. Would you like something more comfortable to sleep in?”

You made a face at him. “Spare sheets?”

Jin nodded. “You should take the bed; I don’t mind.” He smiled softly. He turned to head upstairs, but you grabbed his wrist, stopping him suddenly. “Actually…” You interjected in a shy tone.

You turned your face away from him. For a grown woman, you were making an awfully big deal over such an inconsequential question.

“I was wondering… Do you mind sleeping with me?” You were met with silence. Not because your question weirded him out, but because you surprised him.

“I promise I’m not going to do anything weird--” “Isn’t that supposed to be my line?” Jin laughed.

You quickly pulled your hand away. “If you don’t feel comfortable, I understand. I just… I really don’t want to be alone right now.”

The heat was quickly returning to his cheeks. Thoughts of you half-naked laying beside him plagued his mind, but he quickly put those thoughts to rest. He reached out to take hold of your hand again.

“I understand.”

He led you up the familiar stairwell, not saying another word. After changing into the clothes he offered you -- And maybe staring at yourself in those clothes for just a little too long -- You finally returned to his room and crawled into bed with him.

You took the side closest to the window while he lay closest to the door. Facing each other, you shoved your hands under the pillow and gave him a small smile. “Well. Goodnight.”

He smiled, shutting his eyes first.

“Goodnight, (Y/n).”

Although hesitant, you followed suit. What you’d forgotten to mention; what you’d hoped would be fixed by having a warm body beside you, were the sleepless nights you’d been experiencing from day one. It took hours of laying there, just waiting for something to happen. Waiting for the intrusive thoughts to fade away. Hours of being on your phone and willing yourself not to look back at old conversations. Anything that would be a distraction to you. Anything that would eventually put you to sleep.

He’s already fallen out of love with you.

What if he has another woman at the house?

Your house…

It’s still your home just as much as it is his. There’s probably another woman laying on your side of the bed right now. Just like you’re laying here with Jin.

You’re no better than he is.

You opened your eyes again as if that would somehow reset your mind. You were surprised though, to find Jin there, watching you.

“What?” You whispered.

“You were making a lot of facial expressions.”

You blushed, shoving your cheek against the pillow. You’ve never been good at hiding how you felt.

“Are you okay?” You asked him, but he furrowed his brows at you.

“Are you okay?” He parroted your question. You shrugged. “As okay as I can be.”

Your eyes shifted down to the sheets. Gently you began scratching your fingernail against the bed, focusing anywhere else so you wouldn’t breakdown again. Judging by the tightness in your throat and behind your eyes, you had a feeling this facade wouldn’t last long.

“Is there anything I can do?” Jin frowned.

After a beat of silence, you finally spoke.

“Will you hold me?”

Immediately, Jin scooted closer and pulled you into his chest. Wrapping one arm around your waist while the other wrapped around your shoulders. “It’s okay.” He whispered into your hair. It felt like you were sucking cold air into your lungs when the sobs finally broke through again. You grasped onto the front of his shirt, feeling pathetic. Why were you crying over someone so selfish? More importantly, why were you crying to one of your coworkers?

Everything Touru said. Not just him calling off the engagement, but from every argument that consequently led up to this. Every mistake you made that pushed him away.

“You’d tell me if you were unhappy, wouldn’t you?”

“I tell you everything, don’t I?”

What a load of shit that turned out to be. How could you not see this coming? Your first sign should’ve been that night he said he didn’t trust you. That should’ve been the first sign things needed to change, but they didn’t.

You didn’t change anything, and now look at where you’re at.

Another sob broke through your chapped lips, causing pain in your chest. “I can’t do anything right, Jin.” You whimpered.

“What are you talking about? You do plenty of things right.” He responded softly, looking down at you. You kept your head buried in his chest, disagreeing with him.

“Hey,” He whispered, stroking the back of your head. You looked up with tears glistening in the moonlight. “You’re doing everything right by just being you, and doing what makes you happy.” He reassured you as he thumbed your tears away. “If he can’t support you, then he doesn’t deserve you. Hell, if he can make you cry like this, then he really doesn’t deserve you.”

A new wave of sadness overcame you and you were shoving your face right back into his chest. “I know you’re right.” You hiccupped. “It just hurts, you know? Realizing it.”

Your speech was broken up between sobs and stuttering between heavy breaths. It killed Jin to see you like this. Seeing the way Touru could tear you apart as easily as he did.

“I know.” He responded, holding you tighter and kissing the top of your head. He lay there quietly, stroking your hair and gently kneading his fingers into your waist while you continued to cry. He wished there was more that he could do. Anything to ease some of your pain, but this was all he could offer.

Ater a minute or so, your crying had subsided. Jin couldn’t tell if you’d fallen asleep or not, but he figured it was worth giving this a try.

“What does a loaf of bread say to his girlfriend before breaking up with her?” The room was silent for a moment, give or take the occasional sniffle.

“You deserve butter.”

At first you didn’t react, and Jin thought you really did fall asleep. Then you pulled away with furrowed brows and a look like he’d just insulted your mother.

“Wh-what?”

He smiled at you. From this angle, you could see his defined double chin. “Sorry. That one was a little crumby, wasn’t it?”

Soon your lips were upturned into a smirk. You let out something between a giggle and a snort. “Jin. Stop it.”

“Wait, wait.” He was giggling to himself before he could even get the next one out. “What did the toast say to the psychic?”

You watched in amusement as he tried not to burst at the seam. “You bread my mind!” He howled with laughter. He was already pulling you back into him so he could laugh into your hair. “What the hell, Jin! That’s so lame!”

“But you’re laughing too!” “I’m only laughing because  you’re laughing!” You argued, clearly laughing along with him. “I’m still sad!”

“Hey.” His giggles came to a halt, and he was pulling away to look you in the eye again.

“What?” You smiled.

“What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?” “Jin, I swear--”

“They tend to get stale!” He squealed. Even in the moonlight, you could see just how pink his cheeks were. The way his eyes creased up before laughing into your hair again.

Seulgi was a fool to give him up.

You playfully smacked at his chest. “What is up with you and bread tonight?” He shook his head. “I dunno; must’ve been something in the beer--”

“Oh my god, shut up!” You laughed, quickly wrapping your arms around his waist so you could hold him too.

Jin watched on in awe at the way you were still giggling at his antics. The way he could feel your arms around him. He knew he was in trouble, but he decided he would put those feelings on the backburner. Kick that can on down the road, if you will. That’s a problem for future Jin to deal with.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked as he rubbed the pad of his thumb over your tears once again. Your gaze waivered a bit. Flickering back and forth between his eyes, to his nose, his lips. Then back up again.

“Yeah, I am.” You sniffled.

“Thank you, Jin.”

[lovemesomesurveys]

How are you doing today? It’s only 1:56AM, but so far I’ve just ate a bowl of ramen and watched a couple YouTube videos. What was the best thing that happened to you today? My ramen was quite delicious, ha. Which cell phone network are you on? Verizon. Do you like the smell of cinnamon? Yesss. What was the last book you've read? I just finished, “The Secret She Kept” by Elle Gray and I’ve started, “Autumn’s Strike” by Mary Stone.

Are you hungry right now? No, I just finished eating. What was the last thing you've had to drink? Water. How often do you visit this website? I’m on Tumblr all the time. Do you like frogs? No. Are you afraid of dying? Yes. Do you like bananas? I love bananas.    Do you like the show American Dad? Meh. It has its moments, but overall I’ll pass. I don’t ever watch it by my own choosing, I just catch it here and there because my family watches it.  What TV show do you miss the most that's no longer on TV? Gilmore Girls, Degrassi, and True Blood come to mind first. Are you currently fighting with someone right now? No. Is your life full of drama? No. I have other stressful things I’m dealing with, but not of the drama variety. How long can you hold your breath underwater *shrug* Where's the last place you've been to out of state? When I went to Arizona to visit my grandparents about 6 years ago. Have you ever been kissed in the rain? No. What letter does your last name start with. -- What are you listening to right now? I’m watching Gilmore Girls. Have you ever had a pet that died? Yes. Would you rather use a trackpad or a mouse? Trackpad. Do you consider yourself politically intelligent? No, not at all. Have you ever done any volunteer work? Yeah, I’ve done a lot with Girl Scouts, school clubs, and class assignments. Do you like the Beatles? I like some songs. Is it night time where you're at right now? Yeah, it’s 2:08AM. Do you like steak? Nope. Do you eat healthy? No, I definitely don’t. How often do you work out? I don’t. What was the best gift you've ever received? I couldn’t possibly choose. Have you ever participated in a spelling bee? Nope. If you could have one wish right now, what would it be? Good health. Do you owe anyone an apology right now? I kind of do. Are you the jealous type of person? I can be, but it’s not something I feel much. Or at least haven’t felt in a long time. I feel envy more. Have you ever tried doing yoga? Nah. Do you like getting massages? I’ve never gotten one. Would you rather be too hot or too cold? Cold. Are you good at telling jokes? No, I’m pretty much the worst. I don’t tell many jokes. When was the last time you've attended a sleepover? Several years ago. Tell me one of your pet peeves. Eating sounds. Do you wear glasses? I do. Do you like to keep your nails painted? I haven’t painted my nails for the past few years. Have you ever had a pedicure? Nope.  What is your favorite smell? I have several favorites. Do you like the TV show Full House? I do. Would you rather listen to country music or rap music? I like both. Are you a Duck Dynasty fan? Nope. Have you graduated high school yet? Uh, yeah, back in 2008.  What kind of person were you in middle school? Quiet, shy, awkward. Nothing has changed. Do you have any major regrets in your life? I have a few. :/ Do you like pixie sticks? Eh. I did as a kid, but I don’t have much interest in them the older I get. Do you like French toast? Mmm, yes. Are you a fast typer? I am. Are you good at doing math in your head? Nope. Or at all. Have you ever played with Silly Putty? Yeah. Do you take in a lot of caffeine daily? I do. I love my caffeine. Do you like watching Football? Nope. Or an sport. What language do you wish you could speak? Spanish. Do you know a lot about history? No, I wouldn’t say that. If we could travel back in time, where would you travel to? Can I travel back to childhood? Would you ever consider joining the military? No. I couldn’t anyway, I’m physically disabled. Are you a cigarette smoker? No. Have you ever done something you didn't want to just to look cool? That’s kind of how it was when I used to drink and smoke. I wasn’t a big drinker or smoker, only did so socially, but still. I also did so on my own accord, I’m not blaming anyone, and I’m not going to say I hated all of it because I did have good times, but there was a big part of me that did so because I felt I had to. My friends liked to do it and I wanted to partake with them and not sit out on the sidelines by myself. It’s just that truth be told I think I would have rarely drank at all if it weren’t for that and likely would have never smoked. It had its fun moments, but I didn’t feel the need to partake all the time like they did. Do you like zombie movies? Nah. Have you seen The Hunger Games? Yep, all of ‘em. Do you have a favorite piece of clothing? All my graphic tees, t-shirt dresses, leggings, and lounge shorts. All my comfy clothes, basically. Do you own any Uggs? Nope. Are you wearing any rings on your fingers? No. Name a TV show that you absolutely can't stand. Most sitcoms today. Do you have any unusual talents? No. Or any kind of talent. Do you look like your age? *shrug* I’ve been told I look younger. Do you feel confident in a bathing suit? Nooo. Do you do a lot of online shopping? I do. Do you like the Harry Potter films? Yeah. Do you judge people based on their sexual orientation? No. I care about who a person is, their personality, and whether we vibe. Have you ever been told you had an accent? No. Have you ever ridden an elephant? Nope. Are you allergic to pollen? I do have seasonal allergies. Have you ever eaten sushi? Ew, yes. Not a fan. If so, do you like it? Nope. Are you a fan of anime? No. Would you rather play Xbox or Playstation? Playstation. Are you a big fan of seafood? I don’t like seafood at all. What kind of food are you craving right now? I’m good right now. Are you currently in a relationship? No. If not, are you happy being single? Yeah, it’s for the best. Do you like to go fishing? No. Are you a fast runner? I used to be. I don’t have the energy or strength anymore for that.

Have you ever worked at a fast food place? Nope. What's on your mind right now? Now I’m thinking about food cause of some of the previous questions. Are you texting anyone as you're taking this survey? No. Have you ever had a nasty rumor spread about you? No. Have you ever sent someone sexual pictures of yourself? No. Do you like who you are on the inside or the outside more? Neither. :/ Are you good at drawing? No, I have no artistic abilities. Do you know how to dance? Nope. What's your favorite reality TV show? Catfish, Teen Mom OG, Teen Mom 2, The Voice... Do you think Kim Kardashian deserves to be famous? I don’t care. Are you excited for Christmas this year? I’m always excited for Christmas. Do you celebrate Halloween? I mean, I put up some decor, watch scary movies, and partake in treats. I stopped dressing up and carving pumpkins a few years ago. Have you ever had a concussion? No. Do you pretend to be someone you're not? No. I certainly wouldn’t pretend to be... *gestures vaguely* this. Do you listen to heavy metal music? No. Were you sad when Michael Jackson died? I was just surprised. Do you have more upper or lower body strength? I barely have any strength anymore it feels like, but I used to have really great upper body strength. Have you ever been in a tanning bed? No, and never want to be. Do you like hot tubs? No. Do you know anyone who is battling cancer? No. Have you ever donated money to a charity? Yes. Do you get bored easily? More so nowadays. I didn’t used to. Have you ever peed your pants in public? Maybe as a little kid. Are you afraid of roller coasters? Yes, except for the Cars and Big Thunder Mountain Railroad roller coasters at Disneyland. Are you good at doing tongue twisters? Not really. What was the last movie you've seen in theatres? Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. Have you ever been to a drive-in movie? Yeah, a few times but it’s been a long time. I’ve been wanting to go to one, though. Are you good at doing fractions? Meh. I’m alright. Me and math don’t get along, but I could do some things somewhat. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas and Halloween. Do you prefer Apple or Android? Apple. Would you rather have a tablet or a computer? Computer. Do you like things that are touch screen? Yeah. What age did you have your first kiss at? 16. Do you regret losing your virginity to whoever you lost it to? I’m still a virgin. Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Yes. Do you like the color lime green? Sure. What are your plans for tomorrow? I don’t have any. Would you rather wear jeans or yoga pants? Yoga pants. Do you like your clothes to be baggy and comfortable or tight and revealing Baggy and comfy. Do you wish you could change something about your hair? Yeah, it’s really not a good look right now. I pretty much chopped it off a couple months ago for reasons and it’s in that awkward phase as it grows out. I want it to be longer and dyed red again because currently it’s all natural and I don’t like it. Have you ever gotten a makeover? Yeah. Do you get mad easily? No. but I get frustrated and irritable easily. Have you ever punched someone in the face? No. Do you think the minions from Despicable Me are cute? Ehh. Did you have a Gameboy as a child? I did. Would you rather have chocolate or gummy worms? Chocolate. I’m not a gummy fan. What are your favorite pizza toppings? Extra cheese, garlic, green onions, spinach, cilantro, crushed meatballs, and pesto. Have you ever auditioned for a talent competition? No. I don’t have any talent. Do you make good sandwiches? I think theyr’e better from a deli or when my mom makes them haha but sure. Would you rather get high or get drunk? High. Have you ever failed a drug test? Nope. Do you like the Silent Hill movies? I actually haven’t seen them. What is one thing you need to work on to make yourself a better person? I have a few things I need to work on.

[fizzyxcustard]

Under The Mistletoe.

Fandom: Real Person Fiction (Richard Armitage)

Summary: This is an amalgamation of an imagine and Christmas special idea rolled into one. My original imagine was "Imagine Richard admitting he loves you but you are adamant he’s joking and he winds up blowing up at you through your stubbornness and accusing him of being a liar." This was then requested by an anonymous reader for it to be turned into fic. So, when Richard finally has you under the mistletoe, do you believe that he truly loves you? 

Pairings: Richard Armitage x fem!reader

Warnings: Angst, language

Word count: 1414

Comments/Notes: If you wish to be added to my tag lists for a particular fandom, character, or even everything, please send me an ask or a private message and I will add you. MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE! ;) Like always, this may just turn into a two-parter, which in this case I’ll probably write for New Year. 

Music listened to whilst writing this: Two Steps From Hell personal playlist on iTunes. 

Masterlist of fan fiction here

You stepped back into your flat, shutting all the cold air out, and you walked into the warmth and comfort. The day at work had been long, exhausting and at that point all you wanted to do was get into your pyjamas, make a mug of steaming hot chocolate and watch cheesy Christmas films. The very thought that you now had a week off for the holiday made you smile to yourself, and you had gotten through the festive work meal relatively unscathed. It had taken place at a local Chinese restaurant, and the majority of your co-workers had departed from the venue intoxicated, meaning that you had been designated taxi driver for three of them. The smell of vomit was still lingering from your back seat. Anthony, the one whose undigested meal had coated your car upholstery, had offered you money for a full valet, but you declined, not wanting to embarrass him further.

All of the drama from the last week was now over. The high demand in work, office gossip, employee secrets you had been asked to keep, and you could shut it all out.

Suddenly you remembered that Richard was due to come over. Your best friend of the last two years, a handsome actor who had come into your life by pure chance. How could you have forgotten that he was visiting? The headache of the day had caused you to tune out the one thing that made you happy: Richard. When life became overwhelming, and you found it hard to walk through all the stress and struggles, he was there. A comfort. An anchor. Your source of strength.

“Oh, shit!” you cursed, checking your clock. He would be due in ten minutes and you hadn’t even vacuumed, prepared any food or washed any of your dishes and utensils. You dashed around the flat, spraying air freshener in the areas that required it, and then lit a festive candle that smelled of apple and cinnamon. As for food, what on earth would you cook? You’d forgot to call into the local supermarket on your way home.

The door knocked.

You took a deep inhale, checked yourself over in the mirror and then walked to the front door. Behind the frosted glass you could see his outline and it brought a smile to your face.

Richard looked at you as you opened the door and grinned. Immediately he embraced you. “I’ve missed you,” he said softly.

“I’ve missed you, too,” you replied sheepishly. “Come in,” you ushered.

He looked around the flat, smiling at your love of Christmas. The living room had a large tree in one corner, covered in gold and red tinsel, with twinkling lights shining through the branches. A candle arch was perched in your front window, stockings were hanging on your wall, toy snowmen and reindeers were positioned either side of your gas fire. A thought hit him: he wanted to have been able to decorate with you. He imagined you both laughing, twisting tinsel around each other and singing along to festive songs and wearing Christmas jumpers.

“How have you been?” Richard asked, sitting down on your sofa. You sat down in the accompanying armchair opposite.

“Work has been so busy and I forgot you were coming, so I didn’t get any food from the supermarket on my way home. I’m really sorry,” you said, rubbing your temples for emphasis. “It’s not much of an excuse, I know.”

“Sweet, it’s absolutely fine. I know your job can be stressful. Do you want to go out somewhere?”

“Yeah, if you want,” you replied, faking enthusiasm.

“I can tell you don’t want to,” Richard said with a smirk. “You’ve had a long day. I won’t stay too long.”

“No, please. I’m sorry,” you said again, feeling ashamed and guilty. “Stay as long as you want to. You can stay the night if you want to as you’ve come a long way to see me.”

A couple of minutes later and you moved into the kitchen to make drinks for yourself and Richard. You had agreed to drive to the supermarket shortly afterwards and pick up some food. You would be eating late, but you both had plenty of time to enjoy each other’s company.

By now and your mood was starting to pick up; both of you shared in chit chat about your week. Richard wrinkled his nose and laughed at the story of your colleague spewing up in your car. “Oh, it’s gets even better,” you giggled. “The other two I dropped off, Mark and Julie, are having an affair so I dropped them both off at Mark’s house and Julie’s husband later found out about it. My work is full of constant drama, seriously. Affairs, back stabbing, stealing. There’s always something going on. I keep myself out of it all. It’s like the saying in Madagascar, ‘smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.’”

“It’s the best thing you can do. Don’t comment so no one can pull you into their rubbish,” Richard replied.

You never noticed Richard messing with something in his pocket. He was smirking as he pinned the item in your kitchen doorway. Proud of himself, Richard turned back to you, thankful that you hadn’t seen what he was doing. “What’s this?” he asked, drawing your attention away from what you were doing.

“Mmm?” you replied, shifting to stand beside him in the doorway. He was pointing upwards. Your gaze turned up to see a small sprig of mistletoe hanging from the wooden doorway.

Before being able to comprehend what was happening, Richard’s lips were against yours. The kiss was soft, delicate and gradually heat began to seep into it, drawing your bodies together. Richard’s arms curled around you, pulling you gently against his larger frame. He tasted and smelled divine. Aftershave wafted up your nose, and you couldn’t help but grab his shift and pull. Your movements were becoming more passionate as your hands delved into more intimate places such as backsides and breasts. A huge stab of doubt shot through you, like a rod of ice. You pulled away.

Both of you were breathing hard.

Richard watched in surprise as you backed away, and he noticed the question in your eyes.

“I’ve wanted to tell you for so long,” he said, his voice quiet. “I’m…in love with you.”

A wave of excitement crashed through your stomach, but it was soon taken over by that doubt once more. “You’re joking,” you replied. “This is just one huge joke.”

“Why the fuck would I joke about something like this?” Richard snapped; he could see the defensive nature of your stance and expression. His face contorted in anger and offence at your accusations of dishonesty.

“You don’t love me so don’t try and fool me into believing it,” you said again. Years of insecurity and mockery had caused you to build a mental and emotional dam in attempts to block out all the negativity and potential threats. And in that process, your trust had withered. There was barely any trust left inside you; everyone’s motives must be questioned because more than likely they were not in your best interests.

Richard’s eyes grew wide and he leaned towards you, his teeth bared. “Don’t you daretell me I do and don’t feel,” he growled. “I’ve been there for you every time you’ve needed someone; when everyone else has let you down, you’ve come to me. So, why the fuck would I choose to make a mockery of you?”

“You’re the same as everyone else,” you spat. “You try and gain my trust and then walk away…”

“Oh, grow the fuck up!” Richard shouted. “Not everyone out there wants to hurt you. Least of all, me. We’ve confided in each other, helped each other, but now as soon as I try and look to showing my true feelings, you close down on me. You need to learn how to stop treating people like they’re your enemy.”

Every word that Richard was speaking was true. You could not dispute the facts. He was correct. But that constant fear of rejection and mockery was chewing its way out of your gut.

“You won’t believe me, will you?” he asked.

“No,” you replied, a tear falling down your cheek.

In a flash, Richard was gone. Your front door slammed and he left you standing motionless, staring up at the mistletoe whilst tears streamed down your cheeks.

                                                         ***

Follow Forever tag list: @himoverflowers @shikin83 @theincaprincess @deepestfirefun @nowiloveandwilllove @houseofrahl​ @mynameisnoneya1991 @blankdblank @cd1242 @c-s-stars @thorins-magnificent-ass @patanghill17 @inumorph @leah-halliwell92 @msjava1972 @bespectacled-bunny @ghostlyandee @raindancer2004 @dottiechan @captain-almighty @hobbitlover23 @catthefearless @epicallychrissy @nelswp @adaliamalfoy @spn-obsession @armitageadoration @peneigh-dzredfohl @here2have-fun​ @greendragonette @thorinsraven @thophil2941btw @princessoferebor94​ @banlaochranda @wilhelmyna @gabrieleaquaman @rachel1959 @serpensortia06 @rcrispina @kategorically-challenged @tigereyesf @jumpingmanatee @tschrist1​ @inlovewithamantwicemyage @aspiringtranslator​ @princessofthefandomrealm @letsbeinspiredby @lilith15000 @lealina-scarsdale​ @scarsfanfictiontrash @mechromancing-cinnamon-roll @ra-of-light @jassy2101​ @durinsqueen @hariclea @onewithleaf @michelem703 @bthtallmadge2 @mariannetora​ @valuedabovehoardedgold @tiredwritersworld @xxbyimm @miabee0706 @fuck-off-you-stupid-goat @legolaslovely @meganlpie​ @dashesofink @buckysalefty @reignofglitter​

Richard Armitage tag list: @inkededucatednnerdy​ @birdkeeperklink​ @crazytxgradstudent​

[zayashmaya]

coconut cake, cinnamon rolls, yule log and toffee pudding for the Husbands and Mc? :O

LET’S DO THIIIISSSSSS

coconut cake: have you ever been on vacation with your f/o? where did you go?

- ok mc somehow gets marvus to go to sweden with her, even though he HATES the cold. he’s bitching and whining the whole way there until he learns to exploit his wife for warmth with cuddles by a fireplace. he ends up really enjoying skiing (it’s no surprise that he’s a bit of an adrenaline junky) although the ski lifts are something he had to get used to. but his favorite memory from this trip was when he saw the northern lights for the first time. marvus just silently watched this miracle unfold while mc happily clung to his arm and he got pretty emotional about the whole experience. he told her how much he loved her for being in his life and giving him the opportunity to see something like this, and to be free to do so. 

- mc and lanque have gone to the bahamas! and he really enjoyed it, despite him usually being more partial to places like morocco or spain. the first few days were spent lounging around at the beach taking selfies until they both got really bored (and lanque was hella tired of people constantly hitting on him). so they set off to explore caves and water holes, which made him slightly nostalgic. snorkeling was a weird experience for him, he never imagined that he could see what lies in an ocean without getting culled. needless to say, he thinks the bahamas are absolutely beautiful, and he develops a weird love for eating conchs (mc hates how they taste). 

- mc wanted to push tagora’s boundaries by suggesting they stay at one of those water bungalows in the maldives, where the cabins are on the water and you can just swim from your living room. but tagora was NOT having it, he is not fond of water, especially with how the salty breeze makes his hair smell. so they compromised by going to santorini. he finds the architecture really unique and endearing, and the view is to die for. they stay in a rented home that has a classic blue dome and overlooks the ocean, and the outside is surrounded by vibrant flowers. tagora really likes how reclusive it feels, where he can unwind and relax with mc and no one will bother them. they start to feel particularly bougie when they go to wine tastings at vineyards. lanque really wants to do this with them next time, he’s all about this life. 

cinnamon rolls: who has the bigger sweet tooth?

- out of all of them, probably mc and lanque! marvus is partial to sugary drinks but his ultimate love is spicy food, and tagora likes salty and umami. lanque is a sucker for an old-fashioned bakery shop where he can get fresh pastries. mc is a garbage can who chugs mountain dew and reese’s until she realizes her diet is way too awful to sustain. 

yule log: favourite holiday? is yours different from your f/o’s?

(im vibrating with excitement i love gushing about holidays)

- they all unanimously don’t buy into the quadrant appreciation day stuff, because every day is valentine’s day for them. marvus in particular loves to don the tinfoil hat and talk about how it’s a fake holiday created by companies to sell overpriced holiday crap. still doesn’t stop all three of the hubbies from pampering mc asjfhajl

- tagora goes apeshit for christmas, and lanque really loves this holiday too. they dont care about the religious aspect at all, they just love the cozycore vibe and spending time with family and eating dinner and opening presents (tagora’s love language is gifts and money). marvus is there for the eggnog and smooching under a mistletoe. mc makes them all wear tacky christmas sweaters and she dons an elf hat for the rest of the evening. and who am i kidding lanque also takes so much advantage of that mistletoe.

- marvus looooooves halloween, and it’s mc’s favorite holiday as well. they go HARD with decorating their home and outclassing every house within a 1000 mile radius, and they throw the best parties ever. mc eats all the candy of course. tagora and lanque aren’t THAT possessed by the holiday spirit but they definitely spend a long ass time preparing their costumes because they are drama queens like that. 

- mother’s day and father’s day makes the husbands a bit depressed because it reminds them of their lusi and they miss them :c tagora has the hardest time being apart from his lusus so mc gets him a ferret that he names abacus (lil abby!!!!) and this becomes the most spoiled ferret in all of existence. 

toffee pudding: how does your f/o feel about formalwear/black tie events?

- tagora gets anxious. he’s pretty good at socializing when he’s in the moment, but he spends a lot of time beforehand working himself up into a tizzy and busying himself with picking out just the right attire to impress the crowd. needless to say, he needs his emotional support alien with him at all times in case something goes wrong. mc is a master of rectifying awkward situations. sometimes he’ll bring galekh or lanque with him. 

- lanque thrives at these events and he looks ungodly attractive while doing so. he’s far more subtle in how he manipulates a crowd - it starts with winning over an attendee who just happens to have a lot of connections at the party, and before he knows it he’s being introduced to many people who fall under his spell. he doesn’t always bring mc along, mostly because she distracts him and sometimes he genuinely needs to do networking and less leering at his date. but mc will be damned if she doesn’t get a good look at lanque in a suit before he leaves. 

- marvus lives and breathes these type of events. his taste in fashion will depend on what sort of crowd will be there; he can tone it down a notch with a tasteful suit and a pop of color for his shirt, or he can be so camp that your eyes will bleed. he charms the whole crowd in attendance the minute he walks through the doors. he is loud and proud and in charge and everyone fawns over him. even when he’s relaxing somewhere, people will gravitate towards him. like lanque, he doesn’t pressure mc to come with him, but when she’s there, his attention is fixed on her. she’s at his side constantly or sitting in his lap, he’s not picky, just as long as she’s around. he loves getting ready for the event with her and asking for her input on what to wear and vice versa. they always coordinate their outfits. mc gets a little overwhelmed by the events that he attends (these aren’t small-time gatherings or corporate networking events, they are probably galas for rich people). marvus knows this, so he always makes sure not to leave her unattended for too long. they totally smash in a bathroom or something classless like that. if not there then definitely in the limo on the way back home adjfhaj

[bigfemguy]

actually no fuck it i’m just answering all of these

1. who is/are your comfort character(s)?

i have more comfort celebrities or comfort.. real people than comfort characters

2. lighter or matches?

i use lighters because matches are like. an investment. and also i can’t keep lighting like ten matches to smoke a bowl . but the i love the drama of matches

3. do you leave the window open at night?

in the winter, yes. i only leave my window open if i’m trying to make my room colder

4. which cryptyd being do you believe in?

any ocean one. you don’t fuckin know what’s in there

5. what color are your eyes?

dark brown :> i used to say sienna as a little kid to be quirky and different bc brown eyes are so common. like how other kids got to say icy blue or grey or hazel or green + brown . i wanted my own unique thing

6. why did you do that?

fun

7. hair-ties or scrunchies?

neither. but hairties

8. how many water bottles are in your room right

now?

three but two of them are like actual water bottles . like not plastic

9. which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

cold i’m a lesbian

10. would you slaughter the rich?

yeah

11. favorite extracurricular activity?

music shit. AH AND MUSICALS

12. what kind of day is it?

it’s a beautiful day outside, birds are singing, flowers are blooming. on days like this, kids like you should be burning in hell it’s 1:18am

13. when was the last time you ate?

noon yesterday

14. do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

this is called petrichor you stupid whore . and no it’s disgusting

15. are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

no but i want to be

17. are you farsighted or nearsighted?

i have astigmatism and am nearsighted

18. what hair products do you use?

rizos

19. imagine we're at a sleepover, would you paint my

nails?

no

20. do you say soda or pop?

soda

21. something you've kept since childhood?

stuffed animal. box for teeth. general disdain

22. what type of person are you?

not really

23. how do you feel about chilly weather?

yes

24. if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

smoking or tripping probably tbh

25. perfume/body spray or lotion?

perfume

26. a scenario that you've replayed multiple times?

i. do not want to admit that

27. about how many hours of sleep did you get?

none yet

28. do you wear a mask?

what kind of question is this

29. how do you like your shower water?

BURNING. HELL. DEATH. DESTRUCTION

30. is there dishes in your room?

are there dishes? yes

31. what type of music keeps you grounded?

what are you talking about

32. do you have a favorite towel?

no

33. the last adventure you've been on?

what do you classify as worthy of the definition of ‘adventure’. go fuck yourself

34. is there a song you know every word to by heart?

obviously??????? what is this question ?? literally everyone knows the lyrics to at least one song by heart

35. what's your timezone?

est

36. how many times have you changed your url?

twice

37. someone in your life, other than a relative, you've

known for 10+ years?

family friends

38. a soap bar that smells good?

no

39. do you use lip balm?

no

40. did you have any snacks today?

no

41. how do you take your coffee?

vanilla sweet cream cold brew. or like cinnamon and/or caramel macchiato or something of the sort

42. an app you frequently use besides this

godforsaken site?

discord. youtube. instagram. twitter

43. what's your take on spicy foods?

yes

44. you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

like so many people. like every person

45. can you remember what happened yesterday?

yeah

46. favorite holiday film?

no

47. what was the last message you sent?

i’m not checking

48. when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

i was extremely young i’m jewish

49. can you skip rocks?

yeah

50. i don’t remember the question exactly but yes you can randomly tag me in stuff

here’s weirder asks

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

lighter or matches?

do you leave the window open at night?

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

what color are your eyes?

why did you do that?

hair-ties or scrunchies?

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

would you slaughter the rich?

favorite extracurricular activity?

what kind of day is it?

when was the last time you ate?

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

can you drive?

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

what hair products do you use?

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

do you say soda or pop?

something you’ve kept since childhood?

what type of person are you?

how do you feel about chilly weather?

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

perfume/body spray or lotion?

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

do you wear a mask?

how do you like your shower water?

is there dishes in your room?

what type of music keeps you grounded?

do you have a favorite towel?

the last adventure you’ve been on?

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

what’s your timezone?

how many times have you changed your url?

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

a soap bar that smells good?

do you use lip balm?

did you have any snacks today?

how do you take your coffee?

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

what’s your take on spicy foods?

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

can you remember what happened yesterday?

favorite holiday film?

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

can you skip rocks?

can i tag you in random stuff?

[purplesurveys]

610

What is a question you get asked too much? On these surveys, it’s definitely the color of my nails. :) :) :) Haha but in real life, it’s “How your sem?” which can get tiring as a conversation starter but which I appreciate nonetheless because it’s a way for us to look out for one another. Worst grade you've ever gotten? In high school, I managed to get the lowest possible grade my school gives, which is a 68 but that was on an examination; the lowest grade I got in my card was a 78. In college, my lowest mark was a 2.50 from a fucking econ class, which is probably equivalent to a C in the other side of the world. Do you like colorful sharpies? No, I don’t really use them a lot. Do you do chores? We’re all expected to wash our own dishes in the house but other than that my mom prefers doing all the tasks. Who is someone you haven't seen in a while? Angela, definitely. I don’t think I’ve seen her since her birthday in September.

Do you think double-jointed people can type better than most people? I don’t know any double-jointed people and I know even less about their typing speeds lol. Do you have nice neighbors? They don’t make fusses and there’s like zero drama in the neighborhood all year so I guess that makes them nice. Some kids are fucking annoying though and like to play INSIDE OUR GARAGE and ON OUR PATIO. I literally just demanded my parents this weekend to have a big ass gate made (with spikes, preferably hahahaha jk) so these kids can’t find their way to our house anymore. How many pets do you have? I claim ownership for one pet, which is my own dog, but we also have a cat in the house. It belongs to my sister and I’m not close with it. What is your favorite website? Wikipedia. If you find the right topic, it’ll pull you in like a black hole and you’ll be reading up articles for HOURS. It’s been happening to me since 2008 lmao. Last present you bought for someone? The last ever gift I bought before tapping out was a pair of cute Marikina sandals for Gab’s sister. But that day I also bought Instax film for my sister, a garlic press for Gab’s dad, and massage oils for Gab’s mom. Who did you hang out with last night? I was alone last night and was in my room reading about serial killers by 7:30 PM hahahaha. What is the reason behind the last time you laughed? I was watching Try Guys videos before falling asleep last night and they’re funny guys, so. Are you more clumsy or graceful? Clumsy... I don’t think I’ve ever been described as graceful. More shy or outgoing? Shy. But outgoing if with the right people. What is your favorite fruit? Avocado, I guess. Who are your 3 closest friends? Gabie and Angela are my two best friends but then all my friends after them are kinda equal in terms of how close I am with them... I guess my second-closest friend would be Laurice. Are you in a good mood? A little bit, because we’re seeing the fun side of family today. But I’ll generally be sad by default in the next few days just because it’s Christmas season, and I don’t like the holidays. Do you like Mexican food? Sure, I crave them occasionally. What’s your favorite month? April, because birth month. Do you like myspace? I didn’t enjoy it in the brief time I had it just because it was such a foreign thing, both figuratively and literally – I was *very* new to the internet so I didn’t quite understand the early social media culture just yet, and Myspace also was never a thing here because everyone was using Friendster and/or Multiply in Asia. What did you last eat? McDonald’s fried chicken. What is your favorite hobby? Right now, it’s gem/diamond painting. Gab got me a set for Christmas (she allowed me to open it early so I can deal with the depression early haha) and it’s super therapeutic and, I now realize, more fun than coloring. What is something you have always wanted to do? Go outside of Asia. What time is it? Exactly 8:45 AM. What are you listening to? I can hear my mom’s very loud and powerful fan upstairs, but I also hear her shuffling in the kitchen as she’s making breakfast. Are you better at math or spelling? Spelling. What color are your eyes? They are dark brown. Is the sun shining? Yes. Do you like the smell of cinnamon? Now that it’s breakfast time I would certainly enjoy smelling it. Do you ever go camping? I’ve never done it before.

Last thing that creeped you out? I was watching a Try Guys video where they tried to drive while sleep-deprived, and the first half of the video was them vlogging their experience staying up the entire night – by 4 AM they were a bit delirious and they plugged in this weird montage of distorted hallucinations with sounds of children laughing, and I really didn’t enjoy that lol. Have you ever climbed through a window? I don’t think I have, no. We were locked out of the house once but we made my sister climb one of the windows because she was absolutely stick-thin as a kid. Do you like rock or rap better? Rock. Are you in a relationship? Yes. Do you like the band Hollywood Undead? I was never a fan. What was your favorite music video of 2008? I was only watching Beyoncé videos at that point hahahaaaaa. My favorite video of hers from 2008 was Diva. Are you wearing socks? Nope. Last candy you ate? I had a Crunch bar the other day. What is something that grosses you out? Accidentally touching food that already landed in the sink and is soaking wet. Do you take more than 10 surveys a day? Nah, not anymore. That was me when I started though. Do you prefer summer or winter? Winter, even though I’ve never experienced it yet and just because I mostly dislike summer. Do you watch football? No. I never got the hype but I am willing to watch Gab’s sisters’, who both play football, games. When do you usually go to bed? It’s always different. I can go to bed by 8:30 or at 4 AM, or in between. When did you last login to myspace? 2009, maybe. Who is the last person you called? My mom. What do you like about Tuesdays? That’s my car’s coding day, so that means I get to use one of the family cars which is slightly larger but looks a hella lot more luxurious lol. Do you like Taco Bell? Love Taco Bell. Sucks that it’s only in malls I never ever go to.

[naferty]

MM&M. How overboard did Tony go on the triplets' first Christmas? I can imagine them all sitting in they're little onesies and Bumbo seats surrounded by literally mountains of presents. Tony has an honest to God, handheld video camera and gushing over the babies while Rhodey is in the background like "they can't even open them and they think watching Happy jingle car keys is the height of entertainment. How did you manage to even find this much stuff for them?"

Tony goes so overboard it’s a miracle he doesn’t just buy every toy store on the planet. Rhodey helps reel in him and keep him level-headed, but it’s really Pepper and Jarvis that prevent him from making outlandish and spontaneous purchases. Pepper monitors Tony’s cards via Jarvis and Jarvis is always quick to let her know when Sir is considering purchasing a real sports car “For the future, Jarvis! They’ll grow up and love racing if I have anything to say about it.”

Pepper calls Tony in an instant to talk him out of whatever he’s thinking of.

“Tony, they’re babies. They can’t walk yet, let alone drive.”

“But they’ll get big and they’ll be reciting the measurement of power in an engine from memory before I know it.”

“Then you’ll sign them up from driving classes and when they get their licenses then you’ll consider getting them a reasonable car and not a speeding death trap.”

“…you are absolutely right, Pep. They need to learn to drive a sedan before they get their hands on anything that goes over sixty miles per hour.”

“Not what I meant, but close enough. How are they doing?”

“Eating me out of house and home.”

“Good thing you’re a billionaire then.”

“That and these buddies of mine on my chest can feed these bottomless pits no problem so far.”

“I didn’t need to know that, Tony.”

So no cars for the baby trio, but Tony improvises. What’s better than fast and loud sports cars? The child-safe, tiny, non-sharp versions that’s what. At a highly recommended toy store, Tony buys three of those wide wagon looking things and might or might give them an upgrade in his spare time (if he finds any), but no one needs to know that. Then he makes the mistake to turn to that one aisle that seemed to have absolutely everything he thinks his kids would enjoy and he loses all control. Not even Jarvis is able to stop him.

He buys dolls and action figures. Male, female, unspecified, doesn’t matter he gets them all. He gets doll cats and dogs and robotic ones that meow and bark to touch. He gets little dinosaur figures and toy houses and toy kitchens and adds in a purple toy scooter and a red toy motorbike because why not? Pulleys, basketball sets, mini toy golf courses, and a tiny trampoline. Puzzles and blocks and almost the entire nerf collection, including the nerf bow and arrow.

Somehow he ends up in the isle of stuffed animals and the drama queen that he is he walks into the aisle with opened arms and embraces the fluff and fur of manufactured animals.

Tony has to get a delivery truck in order to bring all the toys back to his villa. Somehow he manages to juggle three infants in his arms while ordering where to place the wrapped toys, organizing by size and color to bring out the beautiful green, red, blue and gold in the room.

“You see those?” He says to the trio, who are staring curiously at all the bright colors everywhere. “They’re all for you.”

Not really understanding but seeing something entertaining somewhere Harley and Peter begin to wiggle their arms excitedly while Riri’s eyes start to droop and soon enough she’s fast asleep in her mama’s arms.

“Yeah, it’s been a day. I think you’re onto something. Time to sleep?”

Harley and Peter blink before they begin to baby talk to each other. Tony huffs. “Already keeping me out? I thought I had until your teenage years for your rebellion to start.”

Putting those two to sleep is always a battle, but Tony doesn’t mind it one bit. Not when he got to watch them snuggle in their blankets and coo when they made small snuffling noises. He took this opportunity to nap on the small couch in the room and get as much sleep as he could before the little rugrats woke up for food.

On the big day, Tony wakes up bright and early. Not because he wants to get the place going and the holiday spirits up, but because Peter woke up hungry and decided Tony’s slept enough and needed feeding already. Naturally, what one sibling did the others were close behind. Harley and Riri stirred awake by their brother’s cries and together they made sure to let Tony know he’s not going to bed anytime soon.

Once their bellies are full and they’ve calmed down Tony starts getting everything together. He puts on holiday music, gets Jarvis to stream all the classic holiday movies as background noise, puts the baby trio in ugly holiday onesies and can’t resist wearing an ugly sweater himself. They’re all wearing santa hats and the smell of cinnamon fills the room. The firepit is bright and alive with the opening safely closed. A soft orange illuminates the whole place.

This is the sight Rhodey walks into. The baby trio cooing on their seats and Tony dancing around them as he sings Mariah Carey’s ‘All I want.’ The trio is swinging back and forth with his horrible rhythm, smiling through their pacifiers. Without Tony’s notice, Rhodey snaps a picture and secretly signs to Jarvis to record it all.

“You started the party without me,” he says when Tony finishes the last note.

“Honey bear!” Tony hugs him hello. “You’re here.” A little shocking since Rhodey has Carol and the rest of the team to celebrate the morning of the day with. Tony honestly didn’t expect him to show up so early. Maybe a quick visit later in the day, but not right then and there.

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“What about Carol and the others? They’re probably getting breakfast together right now. You didn’t join them?”

“And miss breakfast with you and the rugrats? Never.” Rhodey gives him another hug as if to prove a point (and soothe insecurity). “How are my rugrats anyway?” The baby trio blink at him with their Avengers binkies on full display. Rhodey quirks an eye when he sees their ugly onesies. “I feel overdressed now.” His polo and jeans clashing horribly.

“Don’t you worry. I have one especially for you. We’re going to match and we’re going to take all the pictures, eat every cookie we see until we can’t move and watch cheesy Christmas movies.”

“Ah yes. The true holiday spirit. Can’t wait.”

Tony lifted his arms up in excitement. “Then presents!”

“There we are. Was waiting for that one.”

Tony practically drags Rhodey forward, getting him to help set the table and bake the treats and get the eggnog ready because you can never go wrong with a little eggnog. He eventually squeezes Rhodey into the ugly sweater he personally picked out for him. One that had Iron Man and War Machine with Santa hats, red noses and bags full of presents, flying through the air.

“How did you even manage to find one?” Rhodey says as he stretches the bottom out to see the figures. He’s very impressed with it.

“I have my ways.” Tony refuses to tell him he called it in as a special order months ago in advanced. He doesn’t need to know that part.

“The only thing you have is horrible taste in colors, but I’ll let this go for now. Come on. I hear my favorite movie playing and I am not going to miss another moment of Keira Knightley.” Rhodey snags Riri in his arms and makes his way to the large living room where his steps trail off when he sees the sight of a large tree struggling to keep presents under it and the glaring reflections of the wrappings surrounding almost every corner of the room.

“How… where did you even find all this stuff?” He says as he eyes the giant stuffed cat that’s about half the height of the ceiling.  

Tony tilts his head back to avoid Harley smacking the side of his face in curiosity. He can feel Peter kicking around without coordination, finding the action entertaining. “I ordered some online, but most I got from the store. You’d be surprised what you find when you dig in through stuff.”

“Why did you buy so much? They don’t even know what half of this is, or even know how to use it.”

Tony shrugs, not really finding an answer, and getting a little insecure about it. “I just… did. I thought they’d love it”

“They will,” Rhodey says with assurance, “when they get a little older. They will love it all, but right now, how about we settle with them playing with blocks and watching movies together?”

Tony gives a soft smile. “I can settle with that.”

[leesunnies]

TASK 001 - THE LIFE AND THE TIMES OF : 𝐿𝐸𝐸 ' 𝒮𝒰𝒩 ' 𝐻𝒴𝒰𝒩𝒲𝒪𝒪

GENERAL INFO

full name: lee hyunwoo nickname(s): sun, sunny gender & pronouns: cismale, he/him sexual & romantic orientation: bisexual & biromantic age & dob: twenty-two, may 4th 1997 birthplace/hometown: seattle, usa parents/siblings: aimee lee (mother), joseph lee (father pet(s): never has had a pet astrological sign: taurus dominant hand: right handed, but plays sports left handed handwriting style: neat and clean. all letters capitalized, small print ( ex. ) language(s) known/spoken: english (first language), korean (completely fluent), japanese (reading & writing only) religion: agnostic, but very spiritual current living arrangements: small studio apartment in a nicer side of daegu, parents fully pay for occupation/major: part time barista, part time youtuber, full time film student

PHYSICAL

picture reference: blood type: ab nationality: american skin tone/color: pale from his lack of time outside, but still a yellow undertoned tan birthmarks & scars: scars on his knuckles from boxing and mma as a kid height: 6’0” build: athletic and toned, but is leaning more towards a soft body (muscular but less defined) hair color: naturally dark brown, currently blonde hair length: a few inches past needing a haircut. longer on the top then the sides, the sides touch his ears eye color: dark amber brown diet:  coffee and bagels are the main part of his diet, he does eat both meat and vegetables exercise & level of fitness: tries to work out more, but has currently fallen out of it due to school how’s their posture ( or lack thereof )?: stands straight, but tends to slouch when he sits typical style of dress: anything currently in trend, fashion isnt his main priority. he typically wears hoodies, tshirts, and sweatpants body modifications: helix, conch, triple lobe, tracheas, on both ears

MANNERISMS

how does your muse walk?: slowly, but long strides, an air of relaxation and peace in his movements how does your muse talk?: his korean is very casual but slightly forced, english is very laid back and casual what accent/dialect does your muse talk with?: no specific dialect in his korean, but his english is very pacific northwest united states how would you describe the tone of their voice? are they loud or quiet?: depending on his level of excitement he can be either very loud or very soft what does their laugh sound like?: lots of breathy gasps for air, and snorts how does your muse typically smell?: versace dylan blue or azzaro wanted depending on which cologne he decides to wear what kind of air do they carry?: very comforting and calming, he prides himself on being a soothing person do they have a(ny) catchphrase(s)?: common vine quotes, a few are “what the fuck richard” “bb grill” “ah fuck, i can’t believe you’ve done this” and this list goes on and on what are their nervous ticks?: bites his nails, taps his leg/and or pen/pencil

PSYCHOLOGY

what makes your muse happiest?: puppies, or any baby animal, he loves them to death what upsets them the most?: being abandoned/lied to what are their hobbies? how frequent do/can they do them?:   he mixes music, doesn’t do it as often as he’d like but its very fun for him. he also likes to play basketball, but again doesn’t do it as often as he’d like. do they have any guilty pleasures?: those videos of dogs and children being reunited with their military parents, also greys anatomy, and basically any other drama. is your muse an extrovert or an introvert? neither?: ambivert, he has tendencies of both do they have high or low self-esteem? what about confidence?: pretty decent self esteem, he knows hes attractive, but he doubts his personality are they easily stressed and how do they normally respond to it?: not very easily stressed, if hes ever stressed he resorts to marijuana and alcohol what is your muses worst fear?: being abandoned, stems from childhood trauma what is your muses biggest dream?: to make it big in the film industry, whether as an editor, producer, or score/soundtrack designer is your muse a morning person or a night dragon?: night dragon all the way, he’s never fully awake till after noon how intelligent is your muse? do they acknowledge it?: rather common intelligence in stuff like maths and science, but smarter in english, music, and history. he doesn’t really brag about his knowledge describe their sense of humor: very dry, shows like the office and parks and rec, darker humor like shameless, and he is very vine oriented

RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES

are they currently in any sexual or romantic relationships?: no romantic, but he has ideals and people he would date, he’s very sexually fluid and will have sex with just about anyone what is their experience with relationships?: several bad relationships in his younger years, is afraid to commit although he likes the idea of being committed how does your muse view the idea of friends with benefits? have they ever had one? would they ever?: an easy way to release stress, likes being able to have a person with chemistry he can rely on how important is sex to your muse?: mildly important, he has to appease himself just about every night, but he could go a month without sex what are their biggest turn on and turn offs?: turn ons for him are very physical, for girls he likes smaller petite bodies, red or blonde hair, but for men he likes usually taller than him and muscular, facial hair and slight amounts of body hair. his turn offs are fairly easy, unhygienic, rude, and over cocky-ness does your muse find it easy to make friends?: yes ! he loves having friends, even if he doesn’t actually have things in common how important is friendship to them?: having friends is the only way he’s able to stay sane quantity or quality of friends?: he prefers quality, but he doesn’t mind quantity how important is family?: low on the list of things important to him are they close to their family? why or why not ?: not close to his parents, but on good terms, they had a slight falling out after his family kicked his nanny out at fifteen.

FAVORITES

activity: producing music & films animal: dog beverage: tequila, or dr pepper book: impulse by ellen hopkins color: navy designer: armani food: hamburger all the way, simple flower: tiger lily’s gem: opal holiday: halloween mode of transportation: flying, but usually on bike movie: labyrinth musical artist: tobi lou, logic, denzel curry, to list a few quote / saying: “when life gives you lemons, throw them back” scenery: wooded mountains scent: the smell of pumpkin and cinnamon weather: overcast, but slightly warm vacation destination: hawaii

ATTITUDES

greatest dream: to be famous greatest fear: being abandoned most at ease when: listening to his favorite records least as ease when: having to talk about his past worst possible thing that could happen: his parents completely drop him biggest achievement: 100,000 subscribers on youtube biggest regret: not telling his first boyfriend he loved him most embarrassing moment: accidentally insinuating a fourteen year old was drinking hard liquor to a partners parent biggest secret: his partying tendencies to his parents, also his sexuality to them top priorities: keeping him and his friends happy

[goldanddeceit]

Character Survey- Orianna Chant

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Orianna Chant

NICKNAME: Ori, Lioness, Songbird

AGE: 25

BIRTHDAY: The 14th Sun of the 3rd Astral Moon

ETHNIC GROUP: Miqo’te, Seeker of the Sun

NATIONALITY: Doman

LANGUAGE(S): Common, Doman, Ishgardian, Thavnairian

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Biromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Taken

CLASS: Monetarist

HOMETOWN / AREA: Doman Enclave

CURRENT HOME: Ul’Dah/Kugane

PROFESSION: Proprietor of the Golden Arcana, Alchemist

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Rose Gold

EYES: One pale green eye and one pale blue eye

NOSE: Button Nose

FACE: Heart shaped.

LIPS: Full lips usually painted with lipstick

COMPLEXION: Flawless, Porcelain skin.

BLEMISHES: None

SCARS: One that runs along her neck

TATTOOS: None, She has no clan marks.

HEIGHT: 4′9″

WEIGHT: 115 lbs

BUILD: Curvy and smol.

FEATURES: Extremely fluffy tail, She has slight canines not as pronounced as a Keepers.

ALLERGIES: None!

USUAL HAIRSTYLE: Long curled hair that is usually tamed back by being braided or held in a pony tail.

USUAL FACE LOOK: Often looks pensive, things are never out of place on Orianna.

USUAL CLOTHING: Orianna tends to wear a mix of fancier blouses or clothing that leaves little to the imagination. The fabrics she uses are rich and expensive but she tends to care little for what people see of her.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR(S): Imprisonment, Losing her children.

ASPIRATION(S): Build a life worth living for her kids.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Ambitious, Learner, Charismatic, Loyal

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Arrogant, Naive, Secretive, Cold, Unapproachable

ZODIAC: Taurus

TEMPERAMENT: Composed.

JOB STONE(S): Dancer, Black Mage, Summoner, Scholar

ANIMALS: Psychology wise she’s like a Lion

VICE  HABIT(S): Heavy drinker to escape problems

FAITH: Azyema though very loosely.

GHOSTS?: Yes

AFTERLIFE?: Yes

REINCARNATION?: Unsure

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Royalist

SOCIO POLITICAL POSITION: Monetarist

EDUCATION LEVEL: College Educated

FAMILY

FATHER: Junpei Masha (Alive, Age 50)

MOTHER: Aoi Masha (Alive, Age 47)

ADOPTIVE FATHER: Orion Chant (Deceased)

ADOPTIVE MOTHER: Ylisse Chant (Deceased)

SIBLINGS: Arisato Masha (Alive; Twin Age 25)

CHILDREN: Miwa & Mirai Rilemont (Alive; Twins, 6 Months Currently)

NAME MEANING(S): Orianna means Dawn, Sunrise, Golden. 

FAVORITES.

BOOK: Romances and dramas

DEITY: Azeyma

HOLIDAY: Ladies Day

MONTH: October

SEASON: Autumn

PLACE: Ul’dah, Othard, Kugane

WEATHER: Rain

SOUND: Violin

SCENT(S): Cinnamon and Cloves

TASTE(S): Butterscotch

FEEL(S): Silk Sheets

ANIMAL(S): Snow Leopard

NUMBER: 7

COLORS: Pastel Pink, Whites, Black, Reds.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Singing/Dancing, Alchemy

BAD AT: Asking and Accepting Help. Sharing problems.

TURN ONS: Domination

TURN OFFS: People who make assumptions, Smells, Not listening

HOBBIES: Singing, Painting, Alchemy, Music. The Arts.

TROPES: N/A

AESTHETIC TAGS: Royal Aesthetic, Gold

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC(S): Natalie Dormer

ALT FC(S): N/A

OLDER FC(S): N/A

YOUNGER  FC(S): N/A

VOICE CLAIM(S): Natalie Dormer

GENDERBENT FC(S): N/A

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: IF YOU COULD WRITE YOUR CHARACTER YOUR WAY IN THEIR OWN MOVIE, WHAT WOULD IT BE CALLED, WHAT STYLE WOULD IT BE FILMED IN, AND WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT?:

Don’t know the name but would probably be very GoT mixed with Peaky blinders in a political violent drama around Ul’Dah and her goal to advance control for herself and her allies.

Q2: WHAT WOULD THEIR SOUNDTRACK / SCORE SOUND LIKE?:

I have several playlists for Orianna on spotify from different points in her rp history. Currently she’s got a very; I’m in charge, I’m a goddess vibe going for her with her song choices.

Q3: WHY DID YOU START WRITING THIS CHARACTER?:

She started as a D&D character that I changed to fit the FFXIV universe and I fell in love with her more and all the stuff she’s had going on since then.

Q4: WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?:

She was different from the type of characters I usually play. Usually I play characters that are small time people, but she starts in an elevated position but she is a prisoner in it. That was the biggest draw for me, was having a character that is on the surface level “powerful” but in reality she is trapped and rebelling against what’s been dictated for her.

Q5: DESCRIBE THE BIGGEST THING YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOUR MUSE:

I’ve been told she’s very intimidating to approach in rp. So probably the only thing I dislike is that people are nervous around her.

Q6: WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR MUSE?:

Admittedly a lot. Orianna pulled a lot of traits from myself when I first started her.

Q7: HOW DOES YOUR MUSE FEEL ABOUT YOU?:

She’d probably hate me cause she knows who she is and what she wants and I do not. xD

Q8: WHAT CHARACTERS DOES YOUR MUSE HAVE INTERESTING INTERACTIONS WITH?

Nearly everyone who interacts with her is interesting. Biggest characters though are; Preston Ward, Giselle Lockhart, Nanami Nakamura, Kalina Fairhaven, Osha’li Jawantal and basically freaking everyone at the Arcana to be honest.

Q9: WHAT GIVES YOU INSPIRATION TO WRITE YOUR MUSE?:

Final Fantasy 14 of course and all the great people I’ve meet here!

Q10: HOW LONG DID THIS TAKE YOU TO COMPLETE?:

UH I wasn’t keeping track.

[yeoldontknow]

Ere

Author’s Note: happy christmas @yeol-stole-my-soul <3 i adore you so much and am so thankful i get to call you a soul sister <3 i hope you enjoy this gift as im pretty sure it checks some of your boxes~~ Pairing: Jimin x Reader (oc; female) Summary: After a long night of surgery, you come home to find Jimin waiting for you. You find comfort in him as you remember the night you met. Genre: AU; fluff; angst; drama Rating: PG-13 Warnings: some depictions and descriptions of blood; references to car accidents Word Count: 2,373

When you get home, your hands are shaking. This is not the tremor of anxiousness nor is it the tremor of regret or even anticipation, rather it is the quiver and quake of exhausted precision. All day you have held and nurtured bodies, made cuts into their skin and sewn their organs back together without so much as a furrowed brow. Even now, you can still feel them, the wet softness of life cradled between your fingers, leaving permanent stains on your empathy.

But now, now with the cool metal of the doorknob beneath your palm, you can shed the skin of your surgeon’s gloves and simply be you.

This you is tired, frowning at the ache in your back and the odd way you seem to have become numb to the tension in your toes. Walking feels complicated, heavy and uneven steps carrying you to your door with little thought behind the action. There's a growl in your stomach, the kind that reminds you your last meal was a black coffee and, as you push through your door, you realize through the fog of your mind that tepid drink was more than nine hours ago. You'd guzzled it, running to another operating room, and even when you focus on the memory you cannot remember the taste. Perhaps, you think, it is for the best.

With a heavy sigh, you drop your keys and bag on the counter, lowering your chin to your chest as you gather the strength to walk to your bedroom. Around you, the Christmas fairy lights glow like fireflies, signs and symbols of comfort and safety. He’s left the lights on for you, welcoming you home without welcoming you at all, and your chest clenches with ardor.

Glancing at the clock on the microwave, you frown. 3:00AM. All of you wants to be in your bed, pressed against the warmth of Jimin’s bare skin with his mouth at your shoulder. But the couch is closer, you think, and comfortable enough to be a cloud. The couch requires less motion and movement, less steps and less gathering of the strength you gave to strangers.

Contemplating the merits of the couch, of your legs no longer having to brace for everything and nothing at all, your vision starts to fade and your mind wanders. Focusing on the tree, you hear Jimin’s laugh as you decorated in a rush, ornaments placed haphazardly on branches and tinsel messily wrapped in irregular circles. You’d only had a few hours before your next shift, but Jimin ensured it felt like days, weeks worth of holiday cheer flooding your veins simply because his laugh cascaded over your skin, warm like cinnamon.

The memory quickly gets tainted with scalpel slices and measurements of drugs, sharp needles and cheeks wet with sweat or tears or, sometimes, both. Everything bleeds when cut hard enough, everything lives and dies, and you think briefly on how the smell of pine will soon fade from your house, even your own tree caught in a perpetual state of decay.

Grim, you think. Grim and grim, no room for seasonal happiness if you’re too worn and tired to feel it. Glancing back to the microwave, you sigh. 3:10AM. Definitely late enough for the couch and, you assume, sleeping by the tree will rebuild the sense of merry taken from you daily, continually chiseled away with saline and silver blades.

The warmth of the flannel blanket draped over the sofa lingers in your mind before it is wiped from your focus, strong arms winding around your chest and pulling you against a strong body.

‘Only one hour late,’ Jimin whispers into your ear, lips pressing warm kisses to the shell as he speaks. ‘Must be a new record.’

‘Car accident,’ you hum, settling back into his embrace and feeling your muscles relax. ‘Black ice,’ you continue, and you almost regret saying the words.

They’re heavy things, warped and distorted with personal feelings, tragic feelings, and you can feel Jimin tense against you. He breathes deeply into your neck, processing his thoughts and collecting his composure.

‘Did they make it?’ he murmurs eventually, and you hear the way he delicately gives shapes to the word, kisses them free with kindness.

You hesitate in the luxury of his closeness, and it pulls a frown across his lips in apprehension. Smiling slightly, you press yourself flush against him and nod. ‘Yes. They all did.’

‘I'm glad,’ he murmurs, squeezing you tightly as though he imagines it was you who had been injured. Always he does this, holds you close and remembers the easy way skin tears. Any word of an injury, similar or otherwise, and immediately he is reminded of the way blood sticks. Even well past its removal, you can feel it there, a scar upon your gentleness.

For a while you remain this way, his soft breath cascading through your hair and down your neck, warming you deep into your bones with every exhale. Draping one arm back and around his neck, your fingers tease idly at the individual strands until this motion halts. You're drifting, dozing, comfortable in his touch and in this love, adrift and at peace.

When you wake, you find you are in bed. Beside you, Jimin is not a sleep, merely blinking at you slowly as though he is admiring all your hardest parts - all the hard things that soften when he is near. Jimin wears wonder on his face as though he does not know how to keep his love for you a secret, as though he does not want to. Daily, you wake to find him surprised you are in his bed, and, daily, you too are hit with the overwhelming sensation of luck. In a daze, you blink at him, and let two fingers trace the silken length of his cheek down to his jaw.

‘I'm glad they made it,’ he says again, weaker now than he did before. Gentle, and implying so much more than mere affection for memories. His voice is thick, heavy with meaning, and it makes you press yourself closer to his chest.

‘Me, too,’ you affirm, and even in these few words you know you're matching his reverence.

‘I'm glad you stayed,’ he says, stroking meekly at the real truth of his words.

Glad you healed him. Glad you loved him. Glad you did not run when he needed you most.

‘Me, too.’

You meant. Oh, how you mean it.

THREE YEARS AGO - DECEMBER 20

You aren’t sure when you got used to the rhythm of the ER, when the blur of colour and abrupt movements of hands became singular, discernable actions, but you keep pace easily, unphased by the woeful sobs of people around you. It takes you several minutes to notice him, sitting silently in a corner attempting to make himself small. People less wounded than he scream as though their very limbs have been torn, but he lets the blood drip from his forehead down into his eyes and does not blink it away. Across his skin, it is smeared, either by his hand or someone else’s in the efforts of letting him see, painting his face with handprints and blood prints. Still, he does not move, shellshocked and lost in thought, as though the act of bleeding reminds him he is alive.

Dropping a chart back on the counter, you rush to him, kneel in front of him and watch the way he does not acknowledge you. Inside himself, he is swimming, seeking answers to questions his mind cannot fathom but asks just the same. For a moment, you linger on your knees, immobile and patient, waiting for a flicker of recognition to spark in his eyes.

When it does not come, when he remains frozen as though time has stilled around him, you lean forward and try to ease him back into the world.

‘Hey,’ you try, keeping your voice soft.

At the sound of your words, he becomes present though not altogether alert. He tugs the blanket wrapped around his shoulders tightly around him, and fixes a pleasant smile on his face.

‘Sorry?’ is all he manages, weak and disoriented.

‘Do you know your name?’ you ask, studying his eyes for signs of pupil dilation. ‘Do you know what day it is?’

It takes him several seconds to answer, the silence hanging heavily between you, thick with tension. While he gathers his thoughts, you start counting time, hoping and praying his head injury is not severe, hoping and praying the gash on his cheek is not deep. And as you count time forwards, so too do you count it back, wondering how long he had been sitting on this chair waiting to live or waiting to die, and feeling strongly about neither.

‘Jimin,’ he offers eventually, nodding with a slight wince. ‘Park Jimin. It’s December 22.’

Sighing with relief, you lean back on your heels and reach for his wrist.

‘I’m going to take your pulse now, okay? Jimin?’

Lingering over his arm, you scan his body for other injuries. Externally, he appears fine, though he has sunken in on himself. Already relatively slim, he suddenly looks fragile, withdrawn and surrendering easily to the pale horror that comes with trauma. Something about him, about the small way he caves inward, about the way he looks at you as though you are a tether, a hope, makes you feel protective of him.

And so you smile, reassuringly and hoping that it’s enough to wipe the worry from your features. He needs the warmth, you can tell, craves the knowledge that things will continue even if they will not be fine.

Jimin simply nods, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth as he watches the gentle way you ease his arm down towards you. Beneath your fingers his skin is cold, covered in a slick sweat that comes from shock rather than heat, and you find yourself holding tightly to him, irrationally imagining him fading away.

As you watch the hands of your watch move in circles, you feel Jimin’s gaze all over you, pressing and penetrative. Somewhere in his analysis of you, he decides you are the answer he has been seeking, you are the missing piece, and he leans forward abruptly, hoping to get close and hoping to know.

‘Will they live?’ he announces, breaking your concentration.

Your gaze flashes up to his, and you stifle the surprise that builds in your chest at seeing him so wired. His eyes search yours for truth, hard and no longer wandering. He means to pull it from you, means to confront the ugliness of death and hopes that you will greet it at his side.

Still, his questions means he can remember, and means that he is now in the throes of remembrance. It’s a good sign, one that means his short term memory has not been affected, and the thing you need to worry mostly about now is concussion or neck injury.

‘You know you were in an accident?’ you ask slowly, making him answer important questions first.

‘Yes, I…’ he tries, looking beyond you as he struggles to form words. ‘We....they were hit.’

You know the details of the case: drunk driver on black ice, speeding, careening around a corner into two cars and a telephone pole. The scene was bleak, and one car was on fire - you do not know whose. Some lived, some died, and these are the details he does not need to know, not just yet. Not until you have what you need from him first.

Keeping the tone of your voice calm and even, you comfort him by holding his hand. ‘Did you hit them?’

Again, you know he did not, but it’s important he remembers on his own.

‘Yes,’ he says, before furrowing his brow and quicky amending his answer. ‘No. I was hit first, and I went into them.’

Them. The family of five, jovial and happy, or so you like to think. They might have been, and perhaps would have been, and yet.

‘They had children with them.’ Jimin shakes your hand and makes you focus on him, distraught by this statement.

‘It’s not your fault,’ you nod, keeping your voice serene.

‘I know,’ he presses, urgently shaking his head, dissatisfied. ‘But, will they live?’

With a sigh you turn your gaze away from him, glancing at the charts on the desk you abandoned when you saw him. Three dead, three critical. He does not need to know the details, only that some have hope.

‘We don’t know until they come out of surgery,’ you say, turning back to him and keeping your voice detached.

Jimin remains unhappy with your answer, upset that is unclear and erring on the side of etiquette. Promises of non promises, unclear and vague truths, the perpetual management of expectations tasting bitter on both your tongues.

‘Did he live?’ he asks, and this time his voice is hard, demanding. Now, he will not let the question go.

‘No,’ is your cool response. ‘He was dead on the scene.’ You’re unforgiving with the way you the say words, and you do not feel ashamed for your judgement.

Another gurney is rushed through the doors, your eyes following it as it moves briskly down the hall towards OR 7. The pull to move tugs at you, the need to help and useful flooding your veins all at once, but Jimin’s hold on your wrist is stronger.

‘Stay with me,’ he pleads, eyes boring into yours and making you feel flushed.

The blanket on his shoulders has fallen down, nestled now in the crooks of his elbows, but he does not seem to mind. Now, all his hope and faith relies on you.

All of you wishes it was simple, that you could devote your night to him, to watching him heal. But you know that you cannot, that he is not the only deserving soul in the room. And so you sigh, offering a compromise before breaking both your hearts.

‘I’ll stay as long as it takes you get you patched up.’

You did not think you would stay forever.

But he did. Oh, he did.

AN #2: for @writtenwhalien​ xx

[h-styles-babes]

Can you do 13 and 23?

#13 “i could kiss you right now!”

So, I’ve combined these requests to give you this. Sorry it took a little long. I’ve been pretty busy with school, but i finally got a bit of down time to write this out. Hope you like it, and thanks for the request :) xx

When Harry had called Y/N and asked her to meet him at a local cafe between their two flats just off campus, she figured it was just for a quick meet up like they usually did. So, she’d donned a jacket to protect against the biting cold of a late fall day in London and trekked her way the short walk from her flat to the warm shoppe.

Harry and Y/N had met their first year of uni during their very first class of the year, and they’d been pretty good mates ever since. It was the first time either of them had been in London for more than a day’s trip, both having been from other parts of England. Harry was from Holmes Chapel, a small village in Cheshire, and Y/N was from Malmesbury, a similarly small village in Wiltshire. They’d bonded over their humble upbringings and their similar tastes in music, as well as their love for baking. It also helped that they were both studying law and were in many of the same classes and made sure they were always together for any projects and study groups.

Three years in, they were thick as thieves, and they spent most of their free time together with the occasional added company of Niall, an Irishman whom Harry shared a flat with, and Y/N’s own flatmate, Penelope. Harry and Y/N remained the closest out of the bunch, though, and many mistook them for a couple, even though there’d never even been an inkling of anything other than platonic love in their friendship. They usually just laughed it off, and Y/N only really blushed when Penelope brought it up now. 

It was fair to say Y/N had a bit of a crush on Harry. She always had, really. His cheeky grin and his disarmingly green eyes were the first things she’d noticed about him the first time she saw him, and his charismatic personality and intense care for others were a close second, and that was only because he hadn’t spoken for at least ten minutes the first time they sat beside each other. The feelings she had for him got brushed aside within the first month of knowing him, though, opting for being a good friend as opposed to trying her hand at getting anything else. Looking back now, that had been the best decision she could have ever made, because Harry and her shared a bond that she didn’t even share with her mates that she’d had since she was a toothless little girl in primary. 

Y/N shook out her umbrella under the awning of the shoppe, already spying Harry through the large windows. He was at their normal table, two cups of tea already sat in front of him, and Y/N had to smile at the gesture. Harry grumbled every time Y/N stood at the counter to order, looking over the menu to find something to drink when he knew she’d just end up ordering the same thing she always did, so he took it upon himself to get it for her if he arrived first, avoiding the headache. Y/N really only did it to annoy him and see him flush a little when he got worked up over it, but she also enjoyed knowing that he knew her well enough to order what she liked. Harry had the patience of a saint when it came to anything else, but for some reason, Y/N’s ordering skills were his downfall. She found it hilarious. 

Harry ran a hand through his long curls, something Y/N had come to love. When her and Harry met, he’d had a pretty standard, shaggy haircut where the ends of his hair only really began to curl a bit, but Y/N was pretty sure he hadn’t cut it since. It was now just past his shoulders, forming full ringlets that always looked so lush and always smelled of the coconut shampoo he used in the mornings after his workouts. She’d teased him about its length when he first started growing it out, but she’d developed a soft part for his signature locks, and she quite enjoyed running her fingers through it when he’d lay his head on her lap while they were studying or watching some telly. 

“Hey, thanks for gettin’ this for me,” she said in greeting, dropping a kiss to the top of his head before she pulled out her chair. “Bloody cold out there.”

“Well, it’s December…” he reasoned, a smirk pulling at his lips. 

“Thank you, Harold. I had no idea.” Y/N rolled her eyes and blew a bit at the surface of the liquid in her mug. The scent of chai hit her in the face, and she hummed in contentment at her favourite winter-time tea. Technically, it was still only fall, but it was cold enough that she considered it to be winter. Honestly, she’d drink chai tea at any time of year, but the spicy scent from the cinnamon in it reminded her vividly of the winter months.

“How’s it going, love?” he asked, once they’d both settled. 

“Good, just finished up that essay we have due for Jameson’s class,” she shrugged. “Still gotta do the editing and resource page, but it’s done otherwise.”

“I’ve still gotta get my conclusion together,” he groaned, sitting back in his chair. He scrubbed his hands over his face before pushing one back into his hair. “Only got a few days left.”

“You’ll be fine, H,” Y/N brushed off with a wave of her hand. She knew Harry enough to know that he always stressed about things like this, only to pull through with high marks once he turned it in. She’d watched him stress and ramble about how he was going to do shit on something, only for him to pull absolute gold out of his arse and turn in an immaculate piece of work that deserved to be bloody published. It was incredibly annoying, but she found his worrying beforehand a little endearing.

“I know,” he huffed, leaning his elbows back on the table. “I’m just anxious for holiday, I think.”

They only had a week left before the term ended for Christmas and New Years, and they could feel the antsy-ness creeping up on them. Both were excited for the time off and get back to their families and have a bit of a relaxation before they went on with their last term before graduation. They were so close, but the break was much needed and felt like it couldn’t come fast enough. 

“One more week of exams and papers,” Y/N nodded. “Then we get to go home and pig out on junk and watch as much telly as we want.”

“Got my best mate’s wedding to go to, too,” Harry added, his tone suddenly becoming tense, fingers darting up to pull at his bottom lip. 

Y/N squinted her eyes at the gesture. Harry’s oral fixation only really presented itself when he was nervous about a situation. The lip pulling, biting at his bottom one with his front teeth, licking them, dragging his fingers along the corners—they were all his tells. Y/N was curious as to why he was nervous, now, though. Last she’d heard, Harry was excited about his friend’s impending wedding. He’d been asked to be a groomsman and he’d been elated to get to wear a fancy tux and spend a day with his mates from back home. She was unsure of where the nerves were suddenly coming from and why.

“What’s wrong?” she finally asked. “Yeh were so excited for the wedding just last week. Why are yeh nervous now?”

Harry cringed. He was about to have to spill his secret to his best mate at uni about the lie he’d been keeping up with his friends from back home. He’d also have to propose his ridiculous idea to her and hopefully plead his way into getting her to agree to it. He felt pretty shitty to have kept the story up for so long with his friends, but it had been innocent at first, and then just progressively gotten out of hand. He didn’t think it’d come this far, though, and he knew it was all his fault. He didn’t see a way out, really, and he was hoping Y/N would just agree so he wouldn’t be revealed as a liar at his best mate’s wedding.

“I’ve done something stupid.”

Y/N snorted. “What else is new?”

He scowled at her as she giggled over the rim of her mug. “I was only gonna tell yeh ‘cause I needed your help, but I’ll go elsewhere if you’re gonna be mean ‘bout it.”

She quelled her laughs, only a few slipping out as she apologized. “Sorry, sorry. What’s the problem, H? How can I help?”

“I may or may not have told my mates—on more than a few occasions—that I couldn’t hang out when I was back home because I was spending time with my girl.”

Y/N gave him a deadpan look. “Why on earth would yeh do that? Yeh haven’t got a girl. And can’t yeh just tell ‘em yeh broke up or summat?”

“I ran out of excuses to avoid goin’ to parties and pub crawls. My liver couldn’t handle it anymore,” he whined, a drama queen as always. “Tellin’ ‘em I had a girl was easier than just tellin’ ‘em ‘no.’”

“You’re an idiot. Still doesn’t explain why yeh can’t just tell ‘em yeh broke up. Happens in real life, H.”

“Problem is, I already told ‘em I couldn’t hang out the first night I got back because I had to pick my girl up from the train station then. Said she was visitin’ over the holidays.”

“You’re an actual idiot,” she repeated, shaking her head. Only Harry would get himself into this sort of situation with no way to back out.

“I know! I fucked up.”

“So how exactly am I supposed to help yeh?”

“Gonna need someone to go to the wedding with since I already fucked up and put down that I’d be bringing a plus one. Now I need a plus one. Just pretend to be my date.”

Her eyes widened and she sat up straighter in her chair. “You’re not asking me to pretend to be your date, Harry. I’d really be your date to the wedding. You’re asking me to pretend to be your girlfriend. The girlfriend that your dumb ass made up.”

“Yeah, alright,” he relented with a sigh. “I’m asking yeh to pretend to be my girlfriend. Just for a few days. I’m going home on a Tuesday, the wedding’s on a Friday. Yeh can be back home by Saturday evening.”

“I haven’t got anything to wear to a wedding, Harry!” she protested. She was a jeans and jumpers sort of girl. The only dress she owned was one that was appropriate for job interviews and formal presentations. It was very business-like, and was definitely not something that was wedding-worthy.

“I’m sure Gem’s got something yeh can borrow,” Harry assured, already knowing his sister and Y/N were around the same size. Y/N had a few more…assets than he’d ever cared to notice about his sister, but they’d made it work before. Y/N had visited him in Holmes Chapel enough times to become friends with Gemma and swap clothes with her when need be. 

“You’re really gonna make me do this?”

“I’m not makin’ yeh do anything,” he reasoned. “I’m askin’ nicely. And you’re agreein’, because you’re my best mate and yeh love me.” He shot her a cheeky grin, hoping it would get her to agree faster. He really did have to get back to his flat to finish his paper. And he had work later in the evening, so he was in a bit of a time crunch.

“You’re really lucky that I do love yeh, Styles,” she grumbled.

“So, is that a ‘yes?’” 

“Yeah, sure. Like weddings well ‘nough.”

So that’s how she ended up on a train to Holmes Chapel with Harry the Tuesday after the beginning of their winter holiday. Anne and Gemma knew Y/N was tagging along with Harry to his mate’s wedding, but they didn’t know that she was pretending to be his girlfriend, as well. Neither his mum nor his sister were to be in attendance of the wedding, so it hadn’t been necessary to tell them. They just brushed it off as Harry asking Y/N to be his plus one and her getting to spend a little time with the Styles-Twist family during their break from school. 

Gemma wouldn’t be showing up until the next day, with instructions from Harry to bring a few dress options for Y/N. Gemma was more than happy to comply, and she promised her brother she’d bring a few things she knew his mate would like.

Harry and Y/N agreed to act as couple-y as need be in front of his friends, not uncomfortable with showing physical affection toward one another anyways, even though she huffed and rolled her eyes through a lot of the discussion, still unable to fathom just how stupid he was to have gotten himself into this mess. She’d play nice when they were around his friends, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t take the piss out on him any chance she could get otherwise. 

Anne was all smiles and warm hugs when Harry and Y/N walked through her front door. Anne always loved Y/N, liking that her personality was a perfect compliment to Harry’s. She’d  once accidentally voiced her opinion that she thought Harry and Y/N would make a good couple to Harry, which he’d immediately shot down. Anne could understand that they were just good friends, but she really thought they’d be better in a romantic relationship. And she wasn’t entirely convinced that both of them weren’t attracted to the other. She saw the way Harry’s gaze would linger on Y/N whenever she was in the room, even if he was having a conversation with someone else. And she saw the way Y/N’s lips would perk up in a little grin any time Harry was around, even if he wasn’t talking to or near here at the time. Anne was pretty sure they were smitten with each other and just too blind to see it. 

Anne asked them about how school was going as she brewed up a pot of tea after they’d put their things away in Harry’s room. They took turns chatting about how studies were going and their anxiousness at finally being in their last part of school. Both Harry and Y/N would be carrying on to get their masters degrees, but it was nice to finally be done with their initial studies. They’d be qualified to get jobs in their fields, now, and actually utilize the skills they’d been learning for the last three years. They’d also be going to the same school again, still in London. They were glad to still have each other as support as they moved on to a different chapter in their lives. 

Y/N stayed in Gemma’s room that night since it was vacant, but the following day, after Gemma arrived, she stayed in Harry’s room. It wasn’t uncommon for them, sleeping in the same bed together, and no one else thought anything of it. At this point, everyone who knew Harry and Y/N were used to their comfortable dynamic. Gemma had initially teased them about sleeping in the same bed together the first time Y/N had come out to visit, but it was just that once. It was a little weird now if they didn’t share a bed.

Wednesday evening, Y/N and Harry got hooked into going to see his mates down at the local pub so they can all hang out in a relaxed environment before the wedding. Harry no longer has an excuse, since they’ve all got to meet his “girlfriend” at some point, and Y/N points out that it’ll be an easy way to get introductions out of the way. So, Harry and Y/N get dressed after supper and head down to the pub. When they’re about a block away, Y/N grabs onto Harry’s wrist, trying to get his hand out of his pocket.

“What’re yeh doing? It’s cold,” he whined. He put a jacket on before they left, but it hasn’t got any pockets, so he’d been forced to put his hands in his jeans for warmth, but it wasn’t enough. 

“Hold my hand, yeh knob,” she scoffed. “We look like we don’t even wanna be near each other.”

“That’s not true!” he protested. “We’re nearly bumping into each other, we’re walking so close together.”

“Harry, you’re super affectionate. It looks weird when someone like you isn’t touching the girlfriend they claim to care about.”

She’s got a point, Harry realized, so he easily slipped his fingers between Y/N’s dainty little ones, surprised to find them so warm. She smirked as she took their joined hands and shoved it into the large pocket of her jacket where it’s much toastier than the outside air. Harry flashes her a content grin before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

When they made it through the door of the pub, Harry immediately spotted his mates, all sat together in a large corner booth. Liam sat in the center, his arm draped around Cheryl’s shoulders, holding her close to his side. They were the ones getting married this weekend, and they looked completely content to Y/N. She knew Liam was a year older than Harry, and Cheryl was a few years older than her fiancé, but you couldn’t tell that just by looking at them, Louis was there too, sat on Liam’s other side, his girlfriend Eleanor sitting next to him, their hands intertwined on the table top. Y/N had never met them personally before, only ever seen their social media accounts via Harry and heard stories, so when the group spotted the entering the pub, all their eyes lit up with excitement to finally see Harry’s girl. 

Harry extracted his hand from Y/N’s, only to wind it around her waist and settle it on her opposite hip in a move he’d seen the other lads do with their girls numerous times. If Harry and Y/n were stood together, he’d usually just throw his arm around her shoulders, but that seemed a bit too platonic in the moment.

“Harry! Yeh made it, mate!” Louis shouted to be heard over the chatter in the pub and the music that was playing throughout the room. “Almost expected yeh to flake out on us again.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he helped Y/N slide into the booth next to Cheryl, who grinned happily at the extra female company. “Fuck off, Tommo. ‘M here, aren’t I?”

“And yeh brought your girl!” Liam shouted happily, leaning across his soon-to-be wife to get a better view of the woman Harry had walked in with. “I’m Liam, and this is me missus, Cheryl.”

“Nice to meet you both,” Y/N reciprocated with a smile as Harry slid in next to her. “I’m Y/N. Congratulations, by the way.”

“Thank you, love,” Cheryl beamed, and Y/N was a little surprised by her Geordie accent. She knew enough about Liam and Louis, but she’d never really learned much about their partners.

The group settles into a comfortable conversation while sipping on pints. Y/N easily answers everyone’s questions, keeping everything truthful until they ask about how she and Harry got together. She honestly tells them that they met in class their first day of uni, but she knows Harry’s only been using the excuse that they’ve been dating for the last several months, so she explains that they’d been good mates for awhile until it just kind of blossomed into something more.  

Harry had been prepared to jump in and manipulate the story a little bit if need be, but Y/N was handling it well on her own, so he slung an arm across her shoulder and sat back, listening to her tell the story of their fake relationship and watching his friends fall in love with her. He wasn’t surprised, honestly. He’d fallen in love with her within a few days of knowing her. He wasn’t really sure what type of love it was, though. He found her attractive, obviously—she was one of the most beautiful women he’d ever met—and he hung on just about every word she said, but she’d never shown any interest in him, so he’d kept his feelings platonic. He’d take loving her as a best friend any day over muddying their relationship with feelings that might not be reciprocated. 

About two hours into their night, Liam suggested a game of darts since all the pool tables were occupied. The couples were put into teams, and Harry smirked, knowing Y/N and him were about to wipe the floor. He’d discovered in their first year that Y/N was extremely good at darts. She’d explained that her family had a dart board, and it had been a bit of an ongoing competition with her cousins over the years. Harry can’t recall a time when he’d seen her miss her target, even when she was right pissed. 

They set the game up in elimination style, so the other two couples played against each other first. Before they began, Louis called out a bet, saying that whoever won overall wouldn’t pay for their drinks for the rest of the night, the tab to be picked up by the two losing teams. It wasn’t much, but it was enough encouragement to make it an actual competitions as opposed to six people just dicking around in a bar. 

Harry and Y/N sat back as they watched the other teams due it out on the board. Y/N snickered when Cheryl tossed it and it stuck into the wall just above the board, a squeak emitting from her mouth.

“How do yeh think they’ll react when yeh go up there and throw ‘em perfectly?” Harry asked, leaning into her to mumble the words into her ear.

“Think they’ll be a little mad we hustled ‘em,” she chuckled.

Harry shrugged. “Their own damn faults for suggestin’ the game. 

“Yeah, but they didn’t know I’ve basically been trainin’ my whole life for this moment,” she joked, bumping her hip into Harry’s.

He laughed and pulled her into him, their chests flush together. Y/N sighed at the warmth his body radiated to hers. He was always so cuddly and smelled so good that it was hard for her to refrain from pressing her nose into his neck and living there. Although, since the people around them thought they were dating, she couldn’t see why she couldn’t do just that. So, she pushed up onto her toes and buried her face into the juncture between his shoulder and neck, nuzzling her nose against his skin.

His grip around her shoulders tightened and she felt more than heard the chuckle bubbling in his chest. “What are yeh doin’, pet?”

“You’re warm,” she explained, winding her own arms around his waist, under his jumper. She thought he had a t-shirt on underneath, so she was a bit surprised when she made contact with bare skin, though she didn’t pull away. He really was warm, and she was basking in it a little bit. “And yeh smell really good.” He always smelled really good, but it wasn’t often that she was able to sample it straight from the source like that.

“How much have yeh had, yeh weirdo?” he teased her, but he just pulled her body closer to his. “Usually only get this cuddly when yeh’ve had a few.”

“Only the one,” she promised. “Can’t I just enjoy your warmth? Yeh know I’m always fucking freezing.” It was true. Something about poor circulation and a normally low blood pressure meant her hands and feet were always cold, and Harry was a perfect way to warm them up.

“Oi! Love birds,” Louis called, drawing their attention. “Li and Cheryl are shit, so it’s you and us. Get your arses over here.”

Harry and Y/N parted from their embrace and walked to join their new opponents. Y/N let Harry go first to lull Eleanor and Louis into a false sense of security. Harry wasn’t bad by any means, but he was just pretty average, kind of like how El was when she went right before him. Both racked up a decent amount of points, but Louis looked cocky as he stepped up and threw the darts. He got one bullseye, which had Liam, Cheryl and Eleanor cheering. Louis smirked over his shoulder at Y/N, like he was happy to know she was watching him beat her. Harry pursed his lips together to keep from smirking and giving away his confidence that he and Y/N were definitely about to kick their asses. 

The rest of Louis’s darts were well-aimed, but none of them were as good as his first attempt. When he handed Y/N the darts after he’d retrieved them, he sent her a playfully competitive wink with a, “Good luck, love.”

Y/N rolled her eyes behind his back, and Harry chortled at her reaction. 

“Yeh’ve got this, love,” Harry called out, sending his support and encouragement, even though he knew she didn’t really need it.

Y/N smirked at him with a slight lift of one brow, her silent way of saying, “I know I do. We’re about to win free drinks for the rest of the night.”

“Yeh can move up closer if yeh want, love,” Louis called out. Y/N couldn’t tell if he was trying to be helpful or taunting with his words. She’d noticed both Eleanor and Cheryl had stood about a half a meter in front of the mark that was set into the ground for the dartboard, but she knew she’d probably do some damage if she stood that close. She threw hard enough to make he darts into the little holes the first time.

“I’m good,” she assured without looking back at him. She squared herself up and took a dart in her right hand. 

“Watch this,” Harry muttered to Liam, who had taken a place next to him when Y/N had vacated it. 

Liam furrowed his brow at Harry’s comment, but turned to look quickly when he hear the thwack of the dart hitting the board. His jaw dropped when he say it sticking out of the center red mark of the board.

“Lucky shot,” Louis called out, though he sounded a little unsure of that. Harry shook his head with a little smile. Louis had always been really competitive, since he was usually the best at whatever game they were playing. He didn’t like to be shown up, and Harry could tell Y/N’s first bullseye was getting to his friend a bit. He couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when the next ones she threw were just as perfect. 

“Can’t wait until you two have to buy the rest of me pints,” he continued, trying to sound more sure of himself. 

Y/N barked out a laugh, and quickly threw the remaining two, sinking them into the board right beside the first one, all well within the red mark in the center. Y/N turned to see Louis’s mouth dropped open in shock, eyes trained on the three perfectly thrown darts still wiggling a bit in the board.

“I’ll take that pint now,” she announced.

The other girls cheered while Liam laughed at Louis’s put out face. Harry hopped off his stool and gathered her in a hug, lifting her a few centimeters off the floor. He laughed joyfully as she giggled at his boisterous reaction. He knew she was going to kick their asses, but he was still giddy about watching it happen.

“I could kiss you right now!” he exclaimed, still laughing and spinning her slowly. He was so impressed by her and he really liked that she’d put Louis in his place so effortlessly. It was a beautiful thing, really, seeing her take him down a few pegs so easily.

Without thinking, he brought her down and pressed his lips to hers, capturing her bottom lip between both of his. He hummed as his eye dropped closed, feeling her soft mouth against his slightly chapped ones. 

Y/N’s eyes widened at first at the sudden kiss, taken aback by the ease with which he did it. They’d never kissed before, aside from quick pecks to the cheeks and forehead. She’d always wondered what his berry pink lips would feel like against hers, and she was pleased that they were so warm and plush. She dropped her eyes closed quickly, only now remembering that they were surrounded by people that thought they’d been dating for months, now. It would be weird if they saw anything amiss with this kiss.

Their lips parted and met again quickly, slotting them even closer together than the first time. Y/N whimpered slightly when the tip of Harry’s tongue drug lightly against her bottom lip. Harry knew that meant it was time to disengage, though, not wanting to get into anything in a crowded pub with his mates watching them. 

Harry pulled back, his hands cradling her head, and he hadn’t realized he’d moved them from her waist at any point. His breathing was stilted, grappling for breath but also at a loss for it at the same time. Y/N eyes bore into his as they looked at each other, her lips parted slightly as she seemed to try to regain her own breath. 

“Oh, shit,” she whispered, so only her and Harry would hear. What had they just done? That was no pretend kiss to appease any onlookers. That was genuine and real and had a lot of emotions she hadn’t really knew were there between them. She’d always had a crush of sorts on Harry, but she never thought it’d been reciprocated. 

“Don’t run away,” he urged, stooping to press their foreheads together. “We’ll talk about this, yeah? Just don’t run from me, pet.”

She nodded. “Yeah. Okay, Harry.”

He sighed, shoulders sagging in relief. “C’mon, let’s get outta here.”

[aviationfiction]

XXVII

Autumn Dupont

The medley of the roaring waves filled the spacious master suite and my eyes slowly opened to adjust to the sunlight while listening to the serene sound. Within my first line of sight were the mahogany wooden panels of the ceiling and I slightly sat up to take in all of my breathtaking surroundings. The tangled pale flat sheet on the spacious bed fell to my waist and slithers of goosebumps trickled onto my skin as my nearly bare upper frame became exposed. I’d been left alone for the additional sleep that I almost never have and yet his scent overpowered the salted fragrance of the sea to the point of nearly fooling me into believing my love was still in the room. More than just within the decorative bedding, I could smell his aroma powerfully exuding from me though the warmth of his body was absent. Thoughts of my painful night riddled me with embarrassment and suddenly I wanted to do nothing more than bury my head under the cool grey blanket and return to the deep slumber I was once in. It started with a vicious migraine that I masked on the nearly four hour flight to our Caribbean paradise, then that transitioned into a random nose bleed and nausea as I expected, and lastly a spell of sobbing on the bathroom floor that left my man riddled with confusion while desperately trying to help me. Pressure. Though I couldn’t come out with it right then and there, it was nothing more than that. Isaac was the trigger. Although we didn’t have another spat, the sight of him glaring at me as I arrived to the company to prepare for the trip effortlessly crushed my spirit and rattled my nerves immensely. He’d officially superseded the minor issues Dante and I were having just the day before and I could do nothing to get his words and that scowl of judgement out of my thoughts.

My cries in that master bathroom were less about his words and actions but more of a pointless plea for Shane. I needed his arms wrapped around me, his tender words of encouragement, and his brotherly love. I needed my greatest friend. Despite their differences between one another, he’d always been the one to be the mediator between Issac and I whenever we fell out with one another. He’d always bridge the gap to some type of peaceful resolve. There’s no doubt that he’d be able to do now if he were still here, physically within our family. Now I’m left to figure it out on my own because the last thing I want to do is take our sibling issues to my parents as a child would. I doubt he’d inch any closer to respecting me if I did. For now, I’m riding an emotional roller coaster and shamefully taking someone who doesn’t deserve it on the ride. The pain in his facial expressions as the tears poured out of my eyes is all I can see. I was supposed to be catering to his physical pain and yet he was on the floor with me laying in his tight embrace as his words soothed my breakdown and eventually sent me into a slumber. I have no recollection of how he removed all of my clothing and got me into the bed. We’re supposed to be here for the sake of celebrating him in the midst of him getting a much needed break from his everyday life and of course, myself and all of the drama that comes with me, would start of such a beautiful trip with my troubles.

My first task after climbing out of bed was to stare at the unbelievable view surrounding the Hawksbill Estate Dante rented out for our Turks and Caicos getaway. God knows how many tens of thousands of dollars he dished out so we’d be able to say in such a place. It’s multi generational design was clearly constructed for large family holidays or corporate retreats and yet we’re here with nearly all ten bedrooms and ten and a half bathrooms to ourselves. The only additional space being occupied is the one of the chef he hired to keep me out of the kitchen and he’s so far out in the guest house that I’m sure to forget he’s around. The tour I’d taken of the place was half-assed. I’m quite sure I haven’t even seen half of the grounds but I’d been baffled and weakened in the knees at what I’ve seen thus far. I could attest to never having seen any place as beautiful as this one and I wanted to believe he felt the same, but he was far too consumed with my satisfaction of all that he’d chosen, to allow me to take in his own excitement. By the time we were back inside and settling in, my mood began to take a turn for the worse and put a damper on the remainder of the evening and our night.

A proper freshening up and cleanse was next. My attire for the day was all I intended to wear for the next couple of days we’re on this island; a bikini and a pair of sheer white shorts as it’s cover up. I’d chosen a Zimmerman light denim polka dotted style bikini with scalloped ruffles throughout both pieces out of the dozen I packed. I didn’t bother with make up. I simply moisturized my face and ran my fingers through the wavy tresses cascading down my back to give them some fluff. Before exiting the master bedroom, I skimmed through the trivial topics Heather left in my inbox and scoffed at the two filthy ones about me not answering her because I was bouncing on Dante. I thought about ignoring her but I tossed that idea out of the window and responded to just about everything she said while on my search for the ever quiet man of this villa. When I found him, he was seated outside beyond the kitchen’s grand opening at the wooden table with a laptop to the right of him and a bowl of grapes on his left. While standing near the island, I took in the fumes of whatever cinnamon filled concoction Chef Aleem was preparing on the stove. In an instant, Dante’s eyes were leering at me and summoning me to come forward without him ever opening up his mouth to speak. My lips sightly parted at the sight of his glimmering skin as the sun cascaded over it and the beauty of his physical form and aura left my mind and body in dismay as my feet responded to his call.

“Good Morning.” As he leaned his head up, I leaned mine down to capture his lips but swiftly drew myself back when his lip came into mind. I then scanned his face for another spot and settled on kissing the frown lines dawning his forehead.

“Why are you acting like I have some type of contagious sickness? It doesn’t even hurt. Kiss me.”

“Dante.”

“Kiss me.” I obliged his command, but with caution. My lips gently pressed into his and though I could feel the swelling he didn't flinch or wince. He even took it upon himself to deepen what I’d planned to be a simple peck. Our eyes met once he drew his head back and his fingers affectionately slithered across the skin of my cheek. His warm smile comforted me.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Since about eight thirty.” Rather than taking a seat along side of him, I sat on the opposite side of the table so we’d be able to properly face one another. After dropping a grape into his mouth, he slid the bowl towards me so I could have a taste of his snack.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I’m probably never going to wake you up if you’re sleeping, unless there’s an emergency and I or someone else really needs you. Other than that, no. You barely sleep as it is.” He glanced at the screen of his Macbook Pro and returned his attention to me. “Besides, we’re on vacation. I’d like to think one of the perks of that is sleeping for however long you feel like sleeping. Right?”

“And yet you woke up at eight thirty.”

“It’s not like I forced myself to get up. My body’s just used to being an early bird. How are you feeling?” I was hoping he’d avoid that question so I could escape the possibility of having to explain myself and the whirlwind of emotions I was experiencing last night. As weird as it sounds, I don’t want to be that person towards him; the one with the problems that he has to constantly cater to. I’d rather he not have to tread carefully with me or feel like he has to persistently be concerned about me. I’ve dealt with and am still heavily dealing with an overbearing set of parents who have yet to ease up; though my father isn’t as overdone with it as my mother. I’d rather not have him be an addition to that because he believes I’m all screwed up.

“I’m alright. I was a bit stressed out and my emotions responded to it. It happens to everyone from time to time.”

“I don’t know if you remember, but you were whimpering about a headache in the middle of the night. I asked you about medication but you didn’t answer me and drifted back to sleep minutes later. Do you have your medication with you?” In every conversation we have whenever I’m traveling, that’s a question my mother always asks me before I leave and in text messages or a phone call as soon as I land wherever. To hear it coming from him nearly made me crawl under the table.

“I have it.”

“Can I see it?” My face contorted into a deep frown at his request and I quickly jerked my head back in confusion.

“For what?”

“Because I need to know how to take care of you if you’re not feeling well.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal.” His once relaxed face tensed and he leaned forward to rest his arms on the table. As he thought about his next statement to me, he pulled his lip in-between his teeth and exhaled.

“It’s that big of a deal to me Autumn. I want to know how to take care of you. You see how you showed up to that hospital and made sure they were taking care of me properly and then took care of me for the rest of the evening and all throughout the night the other day? I want to be able to do that in return. You don’t have anything to be ashamed of when it comes to me because I’m not ashamed of anything when it comes to you. Yeah, I may be reluctant to have you around my immediate family, but that’s only because I want to protect you. It is not because I’m ashamed of you knowing how screwed up they are. I’d rather be assured in knowing that if you’re not feeling so well, I know what to do to make sure you’re okay whether it be because you have a headache, a stomachache, or a paper cut.” The sound of the waves crashing against the sandy shore filled our ears as we stared at one another in silence. To be genuinely in love with someone means to accept that person for their flaws first. The good is the easy part. I’m willing to accept his; I just fear what he will not accept all of mine. There’s this part of me that helplessly and foolishly hopes that what we have continues to blossom into a forever and there’s the other part that painfully torments my mind with images and a reality of seeing him blossom beyond me with someone else. Yet I continue to irrevocably fall for him. I love him.

I left the table without a word spoken and went to retrieve the container I carry the bottles of pills in. When I returned, I dumped all of it’s contents out on the table and began to explain each and every prescription to him; whether I currently use it or not. Plavix, Lipitor, Zoloft, over the counter Bayer, Ambien, and a ton of others I have been on and off since my time in the hospital. In the midst of my verbal explanations, he examined the bottles, milligrams, and even opened them up so he could get a good look at the pills. His questions were minimal. He simply nodded in understanding and caressed my hand in appreciation of my opening up about something so private.

“The doctor and I are working towards getting me off as much of it as possible. This is why I don’t take any of the sleeping pills. The Bayer is for the migraines.” The cinnamon I smelled upon my entry to the kitchen was pancakes and I certainly didn’t hold myself back from the plate placed in front of me. Pizza aside, I try to eat moderately, but that’s not what a vacation is about. I plan to consume every bit of their fluffy sweetness with the turkey sausage and cheddar cheese and spinach eggs side.

“Other than migraines and your hand, does anything else bother you?”

“No. My hand is an in and out kind of a thing. It was bothering me the other day, but today? Not so much. I could have corrective surgery but I’m not. I feel like those type of procedures make things worse. I’d rather not have a knife cut into my flesh unless it’s absolutely necessary for the bettering of my health.”

“Or for childbirth, if it’s necessary.” I halted before I could get the fork near my mouth and I stared at him. My exhale remained caught in my throat and I’d gone blank of a response for such a bold statement. We haven’t had many conversations about children but I know enough to understand that he certainly does want a family. He prefers to have three but wouldn’t mind there being more if they should come. In the time we’ve spent together, I can easily determine he will not allow his past and the strained relationship he has with his family to deter him from being the best father to the offsprings he’ll help bring into the world. He has the demeanor of a hands-on dad, who won’t be too prideful to get dirty with his son at the park, hit the dance floor with his daughter at a father-daughter dance, instill into his son the value of women and why they should be highly respected, and cry a pool’s worth of tears upon seeing his little girl in her first prom gown. His children will be spoiled while also knowing the value of what’s truly important; humility, generosity, love, respect, and honesty. Whether he has the three or a football team worth of them; they’ll be lucky to have such an upstanding and genuine man as their father. They’ll be just as proud of him as he will be of them.

“Yes. Of course if a woman cannot deliver her baby vaginally for a particular reason than a Cesarean section is necessary.”

“We’re not talking about women. We’re talking about you.”

“Hypothetically.”

“I don’t do hypotheticals.” His snicker wasn’t condescending. He’d done it because we were in accord when remembering he made that same statement once before when we were speaking about the same topic. I’ve imagined us having children. Hell, I’ve imagined us doing everything together. I just didn’t know he’d been doing the same. For the past two years, I’ve gone in between writing children off as a never going to happen type of situation, to possibly adopting at some point in my life, to sperm donation. Yes, my mentality was just as broke as my heart and spirit. Andreas damn near shattered my hopes in becoming a mother. He dismissed us having a child so much that I eventually determined it was me who wasn’t fit to be a mother rather than dealing with the harsh reality of the man not wanting  to have children with me. He was on top of my birth control renewal appointments far more than I was. I was left to watch the girlfriends and wives of his players start or extend their families while I wallowed in our misery.

“You’ll have to marry me first.” I jokingly tested the waters with laughter. Sure, I’d like to be a wife and be settled into a home properly before having children, but there’s no pressure here and I can’t even predict when that time will come. I’m not even sure if it ever will.

“I will.” Flutters filled my stomach to the point of me dropping my fork back into the plate. The statement flowed out of his mouth so easily. My startled gasp was low but he’d been observing me so intensely that I’m assured in him having noticed it. His assertive manner spoke his truth and he glared at me almost daring me to refute what he’d just stated.

“You sound sure about that.” Would he have said it if he wasn’t? Lying to one another isn’t something we do, but optimism can have it’s pretenses and false hopes. There isn’t a single person on the planet who hasn't said they’re going to do something but ends up never completing the task or accomplishing the goal. Realistically, we cannot do it all. So, no matter what this is, I cannot fault him for his hopes and desires within the moment.

“Autumn, I love you. We’re in a relationship and I’m in love with you. What comes next?” He too had dropped his fork in his plate but not because of nervousness like myself. He’d done it to rid himself of the distraction so he could speak his mind. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to just say it. I didn’t know if it needed to be something said after some major romantic gesture like in one of those sappy black and white films you love so much or if it needed to be something said at the most random moment of quality time we spend together. Ultimately, I figured that I’d just say it whenever I wanted to let it out and that’s now. I love you. I love everything about you. I love how kind you are and how you put others before yourself even though there are times when I wish you wouldn’t. I love how when you walk into a room, you immediately light it up with your presence and you bring peace to those amongst you. I love how open minded you are and how you’re always willing to encourage people to be the best versions of themselves. I love how you constantly push for people to take care of themselves first and everything else later. I love that little face you make when you’re concentrating on something and the smirk that follows once you’ve figured it out. I love how you dance around the kitchen while you’re cooking and sing along to every song on one of your playlists. I love how you now sleep so close to me, that we share a pillow, and you barely leave any space for my head.” I’d gone from trying to cease the fluid filling my eyes to full on laughing with him at that revelation. He’d chosen to work on breaking me out of my habit of sleeping on the edge of the bed to now suffering some consequences because of it. I’m sure my big ass forehead plays a part in it.

“I love how you’re always asking questions and showing interest in what I do for a living and what I’m working towards for the future. I love those dresses that you wear to bring me to the brink of a heart attack. I love how you stare at me when you think I’m sleeping and the way you trace your fingers over my chest. I love your awareness and how intuitive you are. I love the way you hug me when you know I’ve had a bad day. I love how much we laugh together. I love how much we share with one another. I love how much you love your family. I love your positivity, even in the midst of the pain that you’re still healing from. I love what you bring out of me and how you’ve motivated me to work harder at achieving what I truly want. You make me feel joy. You make me feel loved. I pray that I’m making you feel the same way.” I imaged this moment a couple of times but I believed it would be those three words of affirmation of our bond but in a simplistic manner. Though I feared blurting them out to him because it would officially be myself giving my all without looking back, in the back of my mind I was assured that I’d be the first one to say it. Given how much of a hopeless romantic I am, sadly, it’s within my nature to shower people with love verbally and physically whether they deserve it or eventually don’t. My thoughts of loving Dante were for me and I marveled in them on good days and worried about my pace on the bad ones. I knew I loved him when I could do anything more than pray for his well being every single night before I go to bed and every morning when I open my eyes. I knew in every flutter of my heart and tingling within my core at the sight of him and the privilege of being within his presence. I knew whenever I yearned for the next time we’d be together on some part of the globe basking in the company of one another with no interruptions or intrusive minds. I knew when I was dashing through my bedroom and stepping into my shoes in a panic before Fredrick could finish explaining what happened to him just two days ago. I know now as I sit here staring into his beautiful eyes while silently hoping they’re the last set of eyes I see as I peacefully leave this earth when I’m somewhere near or slightly over a hundred years old.

“I love you Dante Elliott St. James. I love your entire being through and through. You’ve shown me how to live again and despite being my significant other, you’ve become one of my greatest friends.” The smile on his face may have been the biggest it’s ever been and he quickly stood up and leaned his long torso over the table. I met him halfway.

“Say it again.”

“Which part?” I pecked his top lip.

“The love part.”

“I love you.” Our lips fully met and the smile he held against my own pulled a giggle out of me.

“One more time.”

“I love you.”  

“I love you too.”

“Including my big head that takes up so much space on your pillow?” His laughter was just as loud as it was when he said the sweet joke. He then kissed my forehead.

“Your forehead is stunning.”

“Shut up.”

Our lips collided again and I forced myself to the best of my ability to keep my tongue from doing what it craved for out of concern for his stitches. My love, on the other hand, couldn’t care less. Though the table was a barrier between our frames, it did nothing to stop him from groping one of my breast with his large palms and sensually tugging on my bottom lip with his own. He was showing me where his mind had gone but it was already there as soon as his eyes landed on me while I stood in the kitchen.

“Had you not been laying hands on people two days ago, we could finish what you’re starting. Now we have to be careful because you’re injured.”

“Say what?” He raised an eyebrow and gave me a challenging glare. “You finished with that?”

“The plate? Yeah.” He drew himself back and quickly made his way around to my side of the table. Before I could halt his actions, he effortlessly swooped me up into his arms. My laughter superseded my need to protest about the bruise on his chest. His stride was swifter than I expected it to be.

“Careful now. You’re injured and an old man in addition to that. I wouldn’t want to do any damage.” His smirk worsened the aching between my thighs and I kissed the very top of his forehead because of it.

“This shit talking is quite interesting.”

“I can back it up though. I’m just not too sure if you can.”

“Which one are you trying to give up today? Your voice or your capability to walk?”

“Dante!”

He kicked the bedroom door closed after our entry while our laughter meshed in the sweetest melody. If he took too long getting my barely there bikini and shorts off, I’d hand him a pair of scissors so he could chop it all away.

I’ve been craving him for long enough.

“Look how beautiful….”

The water was the perfect cool my body needed as it battled against the heat of the blazing sun while also not freezing my feet to death. I contemplated running until the ocean water was covering just about all of me but instead I merrily stood amongst the shore admiring it’s subtle waves and the way the soaked sand felt in-between my toes. While my hair blew with the light winds and my skin soaked up the luminous rays so that I could achieve that sun kissed glow that people already swear I already have. I couldn’t help but to take in the tranquility of the moment, the essence of the being resting on the sand just about a foot away from me, and God’s talents for having created such a breathtaking space. Despite what I know cost him far more than I would have ever wanted him to spend, just being here, immersed into such an environment, with a man that is every bit of it’s reflection is priceless. They say heaven is the ultimate paradise, but I’d like to think the creator gifted us with surroundings such as this, so we could have just a taste of what’s waiting for us beyond this life. I’m basking in it. I’m thankful.

“Breathtakingly beautiful.”

I turned at the sound of his raspy voice and chills trickled along the nape of my neck and slithered down the depth of my spine as his intense glare panned over my entire frame. He’d just seen it in all of it’s glory while further acquainting himself and amorously taking his fill of the most intimate parts, and yet he stares as if no other woman has shown him better. A faint throbbing arose in between my thighs and I lowly scoffed at the rage within my once dormant libido. Despite my urge to see the beauty of the islands, I’m far more consumed with the appeal to remain locked in the confines of our posh villa while panty-less and on a mission to leave our mark on every room possible.

“I’m talking about the view.”

“As am I.”

“That view.” I extended my arm towards the ocean so that he took could take in its horizons but I quietly accepted a defeat as he continued to eye me.

“You make it look better.”

“Dante…” My huff was followed by our simultaneous smirks and I quickly turned around so my blushing wouldn’t be the source of his teasing. I would have laughed had he been carelessly flirting like he tends to do from time to time, but I’ve quickly learned how to differentiate those moments and the ones filled with nothing but seriousness. I’d like to believe that statement was a mixture of the two.

“I’m happy to see you in better spirits.”

“Being here certainly helps. How could I ever focus on the nonsense of what’s back home while being surrounded with all of this? That would be a disservice to you and myself.”

“The nonsense meaning Isaac?”

“I suppose so. I’m not ashamed of you or any of this, but I’d rather not have you be viewed as an escape from my problems or as my dependency. That’s not fair to either one of us and it leaves this looming cloud of negativity there. Despite our differences, I’d like to think my older brother knows my intentions and if he doesn’t, I certainly wished he’d simply speak to me to understand them much like I’d be willing to do for what I don’t understand about him. Shane was the genuine talker amongst the three of us. The man could talk a cat down from a tree. Though he and Isaac often butted heads, he still spoke to him with love and looked out for him like a brother would. He was never much of an argumentative type of man; just wordy.”

“Raise your words, not…” I quickly turned to glance at Dante while his relaxed frame peered up at me.

“Not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” We finished the Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi quote in unison and my heart instantly fluttered as if I’d heard the sound of my brother’s voice through his own. The silence that followed was a result of my emotions and my lips slightly fell agape at the moment we just shared. I remember the first time Shane told me that. I’d been crying to him about an argument Andreas and I had over the most trivial situation. We were only dating at the time. He enraged me to the point of my screaming at him and he walked out on me. Though I didn’t expect it, we went days without speaking to one another and I was sure that our relationship was over. I wept to Shane as if the man had died and admitted my part in what happened. It was then that we an depth filled conversation about the pointlessness of yelling and the lack of proper verbal expression and misunderstanding one tends to deal with whenever it’s happening. That goes both ways. Words are far more powerful when they’re being expressed when we’re of proper sound, mind, and body.

“He’d always say that to me.”  

“It’s great advice to give.”

“I miss him.”

“I know you do.”

Suddenly the ocean appeared like nothing more than a massive space of my tears for the loss of such an exceptional being. Shane was the standard of what an upstanding human being is supposed to be. It’s not too often that I question God and the decisions that he makes because certainly he knows best, but I’ve yet to get on board with him snatching my brother, mentor, and best friend out of my life like the most vicious thief in the night. What purpose did that serve? He left a hole in my family that can never be filled. The grieving has yet to end. Instead it’s a topic that we tend to divert from to save ourselves from having to bear one another’s burdens of pain. Between my life and health unraveling in addition to my meltdown over my brother’s death, I am conscious of mine being the heaviest to bear for everyone. I’ll never understand the pain my parents felt in having to bury one child while consistently keeping their strength together to make sure they didn’t have to make arrangements for another. I suppose that’s the silver lining in all of this? Is that God’s gift? If you run down all of the details of our family’s history and all that we’ve gone through personally, Lillian and Silas Dupont could have outlived all three of their children. Today, two out of three are still alive and kicking. Maybe that’s why they’re a lot more positive about this life shit than I’ve been.

“He’s here with you. I tend of think of my uncle in the same manner. I have this belief that those who had a hand in guiding us throughout our lives is continuing to do so in the afterlife in some aspect. Shane’s around and I’m sure that he’s proud of you. He knows that you can handle yourself baby.” Within seconds, his arms were wrapped around my waist and he drew me back into his chest. The soft kiss to my neck was a soother.

“The same can be said for your uncle.”

“Yeah, I know that. Uncle Harry literally groomed me for it. He’d always tell me that life isn’t promised and he wouldn’t be around forever so I needed to take in as much knowledge from my elders as possible. Our time together was always a mixture of fun and him dropping tons of knowledge; even about shit that I was too young to understand  or I shouldn’t have been hearing about. He did it because he noticed that my manhood started a lot earlier than it should have.”

“Do you feel like you had a childhood?”

“Not really. In some cases, I feel like I did childlike things such as playing basketball at the Boys and Girls Club, watching cartoons, and playing video games in my bedroom but for the most part I don’t think I had the mentality of a kid. I always had to analyze everything and figure out solutions and conclusions for myself. I had to understand what should have been beyond my years. I’m not hurt about it because it’s the reason why I’m not so bitter today. I can admit that there’s some animosity within me towards my family that I do need to work through before I can have my own, but other than I’m alright and that’s because I wanted to be.” I turned around in his arms to be face to face with all of his handsome glory and I searched for the pain that I know he often sees in my eyes but I couldn’t find any. Indifference? Sure. Pain? No.

“You want to work through the animosity so you won’t inflict the pain of your childhood onto your children?” While he shook his head, he used one of his hands to tame my hair as the wind had it’s way with it.

“No. I’d never do that. I want to work through the animosity so that my children will know where their St. James last name comes from beyond myself. Eventually, I’d hate to know that they have two living grandparents and an uncle who they know nothing about or never met in person. As screwed up as it sounds, I know if I were to find out that I’m going to be a father tomorrow, I’d never share that news with them. I’d want to shield and protect the pregnancy and eventually the child from the toxicity. So hopefully before that time comes, all is well enough.” His words made perfect sense as they normally do and I confirmed my agreement with a kiss to lips. I could never argue with that despite my love of family unity. Every parent wants more for their child than what they had for themselves. In his case, it goes beyond the materialistic aspects of life. He’d like for his children to have a genuine understanding of a family dynamic and it’s importance.

“Two years right?” His light chuckle and the shrug of his shoulders made me raise an eyebrow.

“Maybe. I said two years but you never know. Life has it’s way of throwing curve balls into your plans from time to time.”

“Yeah….okay.” I jerked my head back and we quickly share laughter over him tossing in the possibility that his children could be planted within my womb sooner than he planned for. My womb being the incubator for his children is still the unbelievable part in all of this. I’m not that special. Hell, the thought of being a mother in two years or less dances on my nerves quite a bit. I don’t know where the hell I’ll be in two years. It’s such a short length of time.

“Do you have a hidden talent? Well, you do, but one that everyone can know about.”

“What?” His eyebrows flew up in amusement and my head dropped onto his chest as I did my best to mask my laughter.

“What’s my hidden talent that everyone cannot know about?” The laughter worsened as I shook my head in embarrassment at such a slip up. My bashfulness wouldn’t allow me to boldly blurt out the way the flicker of his tongue nearly made his apartment the last place I’d be seen alive. He savored me on that table; defying my warning of time and unhurriedly tasted me and lapped up my body’s nectar as it seeped out to him. I almost joined him in his desire to remained locked in the confines of his bedroom while we explored one another because of that. The dress I chose for the evening further enticed him and I paid the beautiful price of that when he made his irresistible face my seat as soon as we were in private again. Had I not avoided and playfully argued down his advances just a while ago, he would have done it without a concern for that cut inside of his mouth. Instead, I straddled his lap and took his mind off of it. The feel of his flesh…My God.

“Autumn.” The tips of his fingers raised my chin so our eyes could meet and he smirked as he eyed the lip I’d been biting while I drowned in my salacious thoughts.

“The piano. I can play. That’s my hidden talent.”

“You play very well?”

“Yes. I’ve been playing for a long time. I took a liking to my music teacher when I was in middle school. He was this quirky and super intelligent guy who could play just about any instrument you handed to him. He taught me and I kept up with it. What’s yours?”

“Mine isn’t as great as you being able to play the piano. Can you sing?”

“Fuck no. I sound like a dying bear when I sing. I can only play. Tell me yours now. ”

“I can draw.”

“Really? What kind of drawing do you like to do?”

“Sketch or abstract art.”

“Were you taught?”

“No. I stated doodling on paper when I was a kid and it sort of took off on it’s own. Shane’s the writer, poet, and fashion connoisseur. Isaac’s the singer and numbers expert. I’m the artist and visual aesthete as Shane liked to call me. If it were up to me, I’d tell you he over exaggerates things because he can be a dreamer, much like myself, especially with that Pisces state of being all within him. If you let him tell it, I’m a visual expert.” His eyes narrowed while listening to me and his thoughts went elsewhere. He pondered something and eventually nodded his head.

“Let me see your portfolio.”

“What portfolio?” My laughter of disbelief made him narrow those chocolate brown eyes of his once again and he stared into my set of emerald to call my bluff. “Portfolios are for people who want to pursue those endeavors in a professional manner. I draw for fun, I interior designed my parents house and my own house, a bit of Heather’s too, and I only help out with family related events. That’s it. I have no interest in doing any of that professionally.”

“Well your parents home looks incredible so there’s clearly some skill there and you’re not about to tell me that you don’t sketch on paper. So I’d like to see.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“What is there to think about?”

“I’m sensitive about my shit, sir.” His chuckle was the source of my smile and he grazed my cheek with his fingers.

“I’m no critic when it comes to you. I’m nothing less than awestruck by everything that you are and do.”

“Dante…” Yet again, he’d given me one of those compliments that left me breathless, speechless, and filled with flutters. As his hands trailed down my arms and took in the goosebumps his words left all over my skin, I sighed in bliss. There was no other feeling within my body.

“I’ll show you some of what I have when we return. I keep it all in a box at home.”

“What were you in school for? You’ve never told me that.”

“Well, I was a biology major and a statistics minor. I was also pre-med.”

“What kind of a doctor were you looking to become? I figured you were interested in medicine when you were at the hospital and damn near about to tell the doctor how to do his job.” My hand lightly slapped into his chest and my eyes playfully rolled at his commentary. I wasn’t that bad. I simply wanted to make sure those sutures were well done so he wouldn’t have any ugly scarring later on. I’ve seen some unnecessary scars and there’s nothing you can do about them once they’ve made their mark and healed. All it takes is actual care and genuine concern about the well being and future well being of your patient to make sure you do an excellent job in treating them.

“Obstetrician. I have a genuine respect for the field and to be able to witness the miracle of life all the time would have been nothing less than incredible. My hand not being one hundred percent has drawn me away from that. I’m sure I could still bust my ass and make my way through school but I’d certainly be limited in what I could do and I’d eventually expose myself if I tried to mask it. In addition to that, I’m not as passionate about it anymore. I want to be one of those people that can throw themselves into anything and just settle but I’m not that woman. I want to love what I do for a living.”

“We both know that I can identify with that very well. If you don’t pursue the medical field, is there anything else that you want to do?”

“I don’t know.” I do know. Though I was interested in medicine, my brother and I often meshed our hidden talents together for future goals that we were going to execute together. He was even willing to wait for me to finish medical school and start my residency before we could begin to put it all into play. Though that particular passion still lingers within me, the other half of it died literally and figuratively. I cannot picture myself doing any of it without he and his expertise there to further enhance my talents. He’d shake me and call me foolish if he were standing in front of me right now but he’s not and that within itself knocked my courage down quite a few notches.

“Deep down inside, you do know, and when you’re ready, it’ll happen.” Yet again, he’d read right into me. He never fails.

“What makes you so sure?”

“There’s a voice within you that seems to be telling you that you cannot do whatever it is that you want to do. Silence it by proving that you can. Trust yourself.” He meshed his lips onto my forehead. “I believe in you. Your family believes in you. You just have to believe in yourself because that’s the most important part.”

“I should have agreed with your idea to stay in for the evening.”

Coco Bistro. Though I insisted that we have dinner outdoors at our villa, Dante persuaded me in not wasting my desired attire for the evening on a private dinner. Instead, we went for a night out on the town and eventually ended up at the bistro for a bite to eat. With it’s one of a kind setting amongst the largest palm grove on the island, it is said to be a food lover’s fantasy and I was swayed once I heard about it’s local and fresh cuisine. I can be a bit of a sucker for an excellent seafood dish.

“Why?” I placed yet another spoonful of the roasted sweet potato and butternut squash soup in my mouth while his lust filled glare washed over me. I’d been going between the soup and the grilled shrimp satay and their Jamaican curry dip while he’d yet to touch anything. He ordered some sort of a grilled flatbread with caramelized onions, truffle cheese, fresh arugula, and chorizo. I was enjoying it far more than he was and per usual, he didn’t care. One of these days, I’m going to stop eating out of his plates. I hope.

“I want you.” What I thought was simple had been nothing more than a teaser for him and he’s done plenty to inform me of it. His hands and those fingers have been all but inside of me as they grazed over the crush black velvet of the dress and the smoothness of my skin whenever eyes weren’t on us. I chosen to wear the crystal lace up detailing on the side of it widen enough to show a nice amount of skin but most of all, so he and anyone else who paid attention would know that there’s absolutely nothing under it. My black Jimmy Choo heeled sandals were the perfect match. After having allowed the wind to tussle with my hair throughout the day, I pulled it back into a sleek ponytail for our evening.

“Maybe next time you’ll listen.” We smirked at one another, mine as flirtation and his as a quiet warning for what’s to come.

“I don’t know if this is going to sound cliche or if it’s going to sound like nonsense to you because you don’t know how to take a compliment, but you are by far one of the most beautiful women of all time.”

“Shut up.” I couldn’t refrain from laughing even if I tried. I always find statements like that to be so farfetched and unrealistic. In our stroll this evening as we took in the ambiance of such a stunning place in the world, I’ve seen a number of beautiful locals and visitors amongst us. Whether you deem them to be traditional beauties or unique, it was noticeable. That goes for anywhere else in the world. In addition to that, beauty’s in the eye of the beholder and given that he’s my man and loves me, the bias is there. I also have to wonder if he’s saying this to me because our waitress cannot seem to refrain from ogling over him whenever she approaches our table. You’d think in every time that she’s given me her back to stare at, I’m not nothing more than a nuisance standing in between her and the opportunity to invite him into her space.

“I’m serious.”

“You’re biased.”

“I’m not.”

“Yeah, okay. Says the man who has women drooling all over you everywhere we go. From L.A. to Miami, to Paris, to New York, to London. I don’t care where we are. They’re drooling. Our waitress is doing it tonight.” I don’t know if I should be admitting that I’m so used to that when it comes to the men in my life but I am. With Andreas, it was the norm. There was no denying his appearance was eye candy for women but they also had no issue leering at him, shamelessly flirting, or speaking with him whether I was within his presence or not. I’m used to waitresses speaking to and offering to serve my significant other first and damn near forgetting my presence. I’m accustomed to quietly observing and yet having nothing to say about it because ultimately, what can I do about it? Andreas thrived off of the discomfort I felt while it happened. He found my “jealousy” to be hilarious. I can admit in some cases I was jealous, but in most, I felt insecure. I began pondering which one of those women would be the one to finally lure him away from me but little did I know, I was looking in the wrong direction.

“I didn’t notice.” A nonchalant shrug followed his response.

“How didn’t you notice?”

“I was looking at you.” I used my left foot to lightly kick him and he widened his eyes with laughter.

“You play too much.”

“I was.”

“Sure you were. You’ve barely touched your starter. Are you even going to have a main course?”

“I am.”

“What are you going to have?” I’d already chosen the pan seared fresh salmon. It was either that or the seafood pasta, but the thought of salmon, smashed buttered redskin potatoes, and the sautéed spinach left my taste buds yearning for it.

“It’s not on the menu.”

“What?” I reopened it to understand why he had a lack of interest in the already delicious choices there and then pondered just how much pull he had to influence the chef to create a personalized dish for him, but the expression filled with mischief on his face left a flustered one on my own. I silently thanked God our table had some seclusion from the other guests.

“I’m going to order for you. You want steak? Lamb? Salmon?” The grilled black angus sounded like more of his speed.

“I want to go back to the villa.” His words beckoned my body and without hesitation the fluttering within my chest was in an unwavering accord with the throbbing exuding from the other half of me. “Can we order your food to go?”

“Yes.” The response went flying out of my mouth before I could comprehend what he asked. I just about called him rude when he raised his arm and summoned the same waitress towards us while she was in the middle of serving the other customers. He refused to wait.

“What do you want to eat?”

“The salmon.”

“Anything else?”

“No.”

Twenty minutes. That’s all it took for my serving to be in Dante’s possession and my body to be swiftly trailing behind his as we made our way to the awaiting chauffeured vehicle. The frustration on his face in response to the pace of our elderly driver was my amusement and I all but thought the man would hop over the driver’s side seat and drive the car himself. Had my arm not been wrapped around his shoulder, I’m certain he would have.

“I can’t believe you said that out loud.” My giggling most likely worsened the situation and yet I couldn’t stop as he used the keys to open up the door. He’d call the man Driving Ms. Daisy with no regard for his feelings. The confusion on his face after my aggravated lover spat the joke out was my cue to apologize with laughter that I could not cease.

He didn’t bother with flipping on the hall’s lighting. My dinner was tossed on the nearest entryway table and my back pressed against the door as it faintly closed behind us. As his body closed the space between us, the gleam in my eyes heightened as the moonlight glimmering through the door’s narrow windows and cascaded over his breathtaking face. My essence entered his realm and my weakening body cried for him.

“I love you.” His words were followed by his hand wrapping around my neck and his lips meshing into my own. His kiss was synonymous with his words. His tongue wrote it amongst mine and as his hands peeled away the velvet, I knew he planned to express that same sentiment to one more part of me.

Our gasps filled the space surrounding us. The coolness of the mahogany wooden door was no match to the raging heat radiating from our frames. The quivering of my lips against his and quavering of my thighs as one remained locked around his waist as he hoisted my body just enough for his sauntering drive and caress, left my being drowning in an addicting delirium. My mind pleaded for reality as the sounds of my love belted loud enough for anyone to hear.

Deeper.

Our cries for one another were in a competition of passion, with myself being the victor.

Slowly.

His determination to make me feel every stroke didn’t go without failure. I unraveled before he did. The trembling and pulsating of every limb coaxed him to fill me.

Our chests heaved in a plea for air as my limbs remained locked around his own.

All of my possessions remained on the floor of the foyer as he carried me away to the master suite. Once my body was resting in the middle of the bed, the rest of his clothing was discarded. Within seconds, he was nestled between my warming thighs with his lips pressed to my ear.

“I love you.” God, I could listen to him say it forever.

“I love you too.”

He slowly dipped back into his haven; my flesh curving around and latching onto him in instinct.

The sounds of my voice and the roaring ocean were a song for him; one that only his ears would ever hear.

I’ll sing it all night.

I’ll sing it forever.

[seriouslyblacklikemysoul]

Chocolate Moon - Remus Lupin x Reader

Request: a young Remus x reader based on "I'm a monster" " no you're a drama queen that's what you are" :)) thanks babe  Warnings: None? My English? Gifs aren’t mine/ Credits to their original owners. MASTERLIST 

You weren’t an idiot. Maybe not the cleverest witch, but not an idiot. You knew something was wrong when your friends would vanish for a couple of days each month. And it took you approximately five seconds to put two and two together. After all, you knew them- you had bonded over chocolate pudding last Christmas when you had all stayed for the holidays. However, you did grow closer to one Marauder in particular.     He was different. He was quiet but his ideas were loud, he was shy but he stood up for the people he cared about, he was sweet yet sarcastic. And he was kind-so kind. How could a person like that not believe in themselves? He was perfect. And that’s how you fell.     It began in such a subtle way, you would have never imagined how fast it could escalate. It was the way he would always whisper the correct answer under his breath but never exactly raise his hand. It was the way his eyes would twinkle with mischief even when he was scolding the rest of the group. It was the way his face would lit up every time he saw an old book or chocolate. It was the way his hair shined while the sun danced around his messy strands. It was the way he smelled-like cinnamon and ink and more chocolate. It was the way his lips curved every time he said your name. You were hopelessly in love with your best friend.      You were about to enter their dorm when you heard muffled voices, trying to keep it down.  “I want to tell her... but I don’t know” Remus whispered. You decided to do the exact same thing that you thought of as the lowest point of desperation.  “She is our best friend, Moony. And I’m pretty sure she can figure it out on her own” James reasoned. You were impressed. Usually, James is not the one that makes sense.  “If she hasn’t already” Sirius added. At least, they thought you were capable of reading between the lines. That was comforting.     You knocked and waited until you didn’t know what to do. They weren’t really going to pretend they weren’t in, right?    You rolled your eyes-Fine, if they didn’t want you inside, you wouldn’t beg. You were about to turn and leave when Sirius opened up. A fake smile was plastered on his face. You arched an eyebrow. “Hello, love” he greeted you way too cheerful while he stepped aside to let you walk in. With just a quick glance you realized why it took them that long. Remus was nowhere to be found.  “Hey, guys. Where is Remus?” you asked casually since those four were a package deal so you wouldn’t raise suspicion.  “Library” they said in unison. You gave a knowing smile.  “Library, my ass. Remus, come out of the bathroom” you said slightly annoyed. There was absolutely no need for him to hide in order to avoid you. You would have left on your own. You just wanted to make sure he was alright since last night was the full moon.     You were staring at the closed door with a very hard expression-cold, annoyed and hurt. Slowly, it crept open, revealing a guilty-looking Remus, who wouldn’t look at you. You scanned him for any severe damage. You saw a small scar across his lips. That was new. You sighed and dropped the vacant expression.  “Why were you hiding Remus?” you questioned, taking notice of how the other guys had slowly moved towards the door, waving goodbye to a wide-eyed Remus and leaving you alone.  “I wasn’t hiding” he said quietly-still not looking at you. You took a step back and sat down on his bed. You knew it was his-it was the only one made.  “Remus, I am tired of being lied to. Respect me enough and tell me the truth” you simply told him. It was what you wanted. The truth coming from him.     He walked over to you and sat down next to you, not that close but not that far away. He looked at you, locking eyes with you. You took in his beautiful face. His big eyes and his plump lips-and his scars; you loved his scars. “I’m a werewolf” he muttered softly, after a second. He waited for you to spit insults at him and run away, and maybe tell everyone. Because he truly believed that he wasn’t worthy of anything else.    You just kept looking at him and sent him a warm smile. He was puzzled-he furrowed his eyebrows and his lips parted.  “Why aren’t you running away? I’m a monster” he asked you utterly bewildered. You chuckled and moved closer. You could hear-feel- his heart pounding faster than usually.  “You’re a drama queen. That’s what you are” you said nonchalantly. And to think, you called Sirius a drama queen. “But-but..” he trailed off as you brought your hand over his newest scar on his lips. Oh, how you had imagined those lips, wondering how they would taste. “But nothing. How on earth could you possibly believe I would run away?” you rhetorically asked but he answered nonetheless.  “Because I’m dangerous” he said but you snorted. He gulped hard.  “Yeah, very. I’m more worried about you getting hurt because of it, really” you sheepishly confessed. You were too close. Merlin, save me.     He brought his hand upon your and intertwined your fingers with his. “Why?”. It was a very simple question. A very very simple one. You could have said because he was your friend. You knew you could-but you didn’t want. It was now or never.    You quickly leaned forward and pecked his lips with yours. It lasted about two seconds. But those two seconds could either make you the happiest person alive or they could ruin your friendship.     He was taken aback and he withdrew his hand. You felt like you had been slapped as you removed your hand. Great.    You stood up abruptly and turned on your heel, ready to leave but his hand grabbed your wrist, making you turn and face him.  “What was that?” he asked shyly, his cheeks red. “For someone as smart as you, you’re dense” you whispered. Slowly he started grinning like a mad man and you thought that maybe he had gone mental. “You like me?” he asked too excited to hide it. You cracked a smile at his childish expression. “I really do” you answered, reaching for his lips. This time he responded faster than what you thought possible-still smiling. “What about a date?” he mumbled against your lips. You let out a small laugh. “I would love to”. 

Tags: @starsepot