#i love that we can believe all this bs but not in the climate change crisis

[richardsphere]

Leverage Redemption Log: The Work Study Job

Ultraviolet catastrophe is indeed a great bandname.

Girl walks in, "how could you"... im putting money on plagiarism? (its the only crime i can think of a student could figure out. Sure he could be working on a quantumphysics/nucear radiation based weapon for the military, but a student wouldnt know) Pressed continue, im right. Stage fright/anxiety. As someone who has never been diagnosed with anxiety but has some pretty anxiety-esque tendencies... this will be a hard episode for me. --- Skipping over the "client meeting" bit, cause nothing much happened there (besides the obvious) Back at the theatre Breanna has the powerpoint. Turns out, not only is he a fraud he's also a climate-change denialist (not because he doesnt believe in it, lobbyists just pay him).

Turns out Harry used to go to this school (he also used to do "little yellow pills")

Harry and Breanna are ideologically seperated? (i dont think they are, Harry isnt saying "the system works", for godssake he's on team leverage AKA team fuck the system) but we're gonna be force-fed some BS here. But Breanna is being really harsh here. Like all Harry is saying is "I have connections here, and I have built up enough credit with 'donations' that these doors are open to us".

Harry: Look guys, The slow option exists and any crime involved in getting her her research back could permanently destroy the girls legitimately and ultimately cost her the very future we're trying to get her back. If we steal it from him and she gets her stuff back, he'll just claim she stole it from him. Sad Parker: But I love crime! Harry: Ok you can do a little crime, as a treat.

Sophie is calling the shot: We'll at least give the official route a chance. (She does not seem to be under any illusions it'll work but have to get started somewhere) --- I agree with Sophie, "ultimate frisbee" is a dumb name for a sport.

Dean Alreadyforgothisname drops a tech billionaire, which feels like either someone we'll return to later in the episode or a future mark.

Elliot is stealing the camerafeed for Breanna, But gets spotted by someone who redirects him elsewhere to fix whatever needs fixing. Parker complains that college campusses, campussi? Campi? are too easy. The one way to prevent Elliot from kicking your ass: Be someone he genuinely likes and/or pities. (he's gonna be evil isnt he? Obligatory third act twist) Harry cant distract this guy too long, They find the stuff (its behind the whiteboard) but while Parker manages to hide Breanna is found --- Breanna, when a mark says "oh you're the janitor" your response is "yes let me just take the trash out", confirm their suspicions and biases. But now that you've failed the slam dunk exit time to flatter his glasses and ego, (and bait him with a new, promising student he can plagiarise next) He tries to bait her with an impossible question, but she sees through it and exposits that she actually knows what she's talking about. But breanna has made herself an opening next monday --- So he's looking to "sell" (techcically lease) the patent to this clean fusion research to an oil company.

Mr "genius" doesnt seem to understand what "installed backwards"means.

Breanna stalls and redirects the oilguy, Floyd is about to interfere with Elliot. Harry is going to request the hearing,

Floyd is suprisingly happy with Elliot. Are we shock-therapying the Oilcorpo?

Oh Floyd has friends (presumably the actual backbone staff of the institution, secretaries, accountants etc.) --- Ok so its a secret Illuminati order of janitorial staff. I've seen this joke before but also, dont mess with the janitors man. They know where the bodies are hidden as well as where to hide yours.

As far as taking Gray down, Elliot just won the fucking lottery.

Meanwhile Harry gets what amounts to an out-and-open admission of corruption from the Dean. (Rule number 1: Never admit to your crimes where Leverage is near. They have recorders in their ears. The Dean's job priviliges are hereby revoked.)

"we need all the crime". Simple line but it works. 8.6/10 --- New plan: Convince Gray that the girl stole the research from a third party and its way more valuable then he thinks.

Breanna tells Emma to help Sophie

Sophie on a greenscreen doing a Ted Talk, Elliot plants a book with Sophies thesis in the library.

Gray just entered the suplycloset/Sophies Lair. Sophie, you could've waited 1 minute, given him the time to steal stuff on camera and strengthen your futures.

--- Time to feign Tech Billionaire Status (that guy from earlier is getting dropped again) HARDISON IS PLAYING THE SPACEBILLIONAIRE! I am loving this. They really realised exactly how much leniancy a greenscreen gave them to work around this guys schedule. the legit look of glee on Sophie's face when she realises Hardison is joining this con. She (character) doesnt even need to fake it. (i dont want to presume on the feelings of the actor)

Hardison, you ducked up your coverstory in the first line. A tech billionaire admitting that their people did the work not themselves? God if only we lived in a world where that really happened. (i mean an ideal world obviously wouldnt have billionaires in the first place but one step at a time)

Gray has taken the bait. Sophie boner-baits him into a rush decision.

Problem with a violin scam, what if they have an actual buyer lined up. --- Ok so list of problems: Getting Emma in the room, Goading Gray to over-extend. Getting rid of a billionaire's security. thats 1 big problem and like, 2 quarters of a problem. (Emma is the legit issue, anxiety sucks)

Huh this tech billionaire is actually rather open minded and sensible. Ah they let him realise they're conning him to move the guards out of play.

All the janitors working together to funnel this guy into his doom. Gray tries to prevent Emma from meeting the Tech Billionaire just in time for commercial break. (he's about to gloat on a wire, while the billionaire is locked in a box with a functioning speaker hearing him admit everything) --- Oh yeah the billionaire went to school here, he's been in Gray's class and knows enough science to know that when a professor claims to have all the answers rather then admit "i dont know that, i'll look into it" from time to time its a big red flag. Obviously fuck billionaires, but on the scale of fictional billionares this guy is pretty good.

"I have Tenure" "We have a Harry".

[jerzwriter]

Do you feel like we are seeing a lot more far-right bigotry on tumblr this year than we have during pride month in the past? I saw one post from this meme blogger called "r4cs0" where he was claiming that Chipotle had changed their corporate policies to ban homosexuals from their restaurants after a homosexual man was caught stealing guacamole by smuggling it out in his anus. It was definitely fake news and I think a lot of people were reblogging it because they thought it was a joke, but if you go to r4cs0's blog there is actually a huge amount of homophobia, transphobia, dendrophobia and general bigotry going on over there.

Hey Nonny,

I definitely feel it. This pride feels really off to me, and I don't like it. I am speaking from a U.S. perspective, but I know this applies to other nations as well. The anti-rhetoric is always there, but it feels more blatant like they're more empowered. That's been happening ever since 2016, but this year feels more intense.

My personal feelings? Roe v. Wade was overturned. Now, that in and of itself still has me on FIRE, but like I said on day one, Roe being overturned was not just about Roe, and the far-right has no intention of stopping there. Between that and the far-right media, they're emboldened and not letting down.

I even see it in things that, in general, I don't put too much stock in. Like Target's decision to remove their pride displays from certain stores in the South. Now, I never saw Target as the biggest ally, and I think a lot of corporate pride is BS propaganda, but this isn't good. Why? When I'm in lower Manhattan, it's not the kids there that need to know they're loved and supported... they know. This happened in the communities where they are most ostracized, the most in danger. It doesn't sit well with me.

Also, a lot of companies are putting out their pride logo for a day, then taking it down. Excuse me, but fuck you. America is not a democracy, no matter how much we like to pretend we are, in practice, we are very much a corporatocracy, and right now, we need corporations to be allies more than ever - for lgbtq+ rights, women's rights, racial equity - and so many are backing down instead of standing up - and that's not good. I'm looking hard at where I spend my money these days, and I think we should all try to do that.

Now the shit you are reporting here, I'd like to say anyone who sees that and believes it should have their heads examined, but in our crazy-ass climate, who the hell even knows what's real and what's not anymore (and that's QUITE by design). It's disgusting and disheartening, and it is dangerous.

I'm old enough that I remember when pride was a lot more than a party - and honestly, that has to be remembered, and we need to focus on that. It's great to celebrate, it's important to celebrate, and we should celebrate. But we have to stay vigilant, we have to fight, and for those of us fortunate enough to live in more progressive areas need to really remember those who don't and work for them.

Here's my only hope... the younger generation, in general, is progressive, so I hope the future will be brighter. But don't think the forces at play don't know that the younger generation is more progressive and these bigoted dinosaurs' days are numbered. That's why they're doing all they can - who cares if it's legal or ethical - to consolidate power.

It's hard to see all of this. I've lived through a lot and seen things improve so much. To see things moving backward is just sickening.

Stay strong, Nonny. Sending you love and HAPPY PRIDE... no matter what.

[quillsink]

OKAY SO

living fosil is a term used to describe an animal, plant, whatever which seemingly hasn't evolved. If you looked at the fossil record and found fossils for example, horseshoe crabs, you would see that horseshoe crabs from then are the same as the horseshoe crabs from now, in other words, it wouldn't look like they evolved. they look the same as the fossils, hence the name- living fossil!

other examples of these creatures include; Ginko leaves, crocodiles, sharks, triops and coelacants (i love coelacants and i have an entire other infodump in my brain about them).

theres a LOT of misinformation about these animals that is used to promote bs theories such as the creationist theory (the theory that the earth is 6,000 years old, that god created Earth form nothing, that evolution doesn't exist and that humans lived at the same time as the dinosaurs) and cryptozoology (the search for cryptids such as the lochness monster that obviously aren't true (seperate infodump about that))

of course, these theories are bogus. An argument said by professionals is "if the dinosaurs truly survived for that long after the Cretaceous period, we would have found their bones alongside human bones and they would have looked like nothing in the past if they existed now because of the changes in climate and other factors that would have led to them not being adept to survive and thus to evolution. also dinosaurs are FUCKING huge im pretty sure we would have found them by now.". the counter argument made by believers in the previously mentioned bogus theories is "Ceolecants lived alongside dinosaurs, that can be found in the fossil record and they haven't evolved. they were thought to have been extinct after the Cretaceous period and there were none of them in the fossil record and yet we have found them today, same as in the past. CLEARLY, dinosaurs are still alive somewhere."

it's always "Coelacants HAVENT EVOLVED! living fossils DISPROVE EVOLUTION!" when in reality, if anything living fossils prove evolution.

i'm gonna use the horseshoe crab as an example. an inexperienced and not professional, like the idiot that is writting this, would look at the fossil and at the living creature and determinain they look exactly the same, that they haven't evolved. BUT, if you are a professional horseshoe crab person, you would see that a little tiny bit of their exoskeleton has changed. Just like one tiny hole. has changed size. so they aren't the same- they have evolved, just way slower then the usual.

An animal evolves when the habitiat around it evolves. if a lizards habitat goes from full of fruit to no fruit because of climate changes, that lizard will either die out or evolve to eat other things. if an animal such as a horseshoe crab lives deep, deep, underwater in a habitat that practically never changes, why would it evolve? if it aint broken don't fix it yk. Of course, with genetics and all of that, there is really not a way for an animal to not evolve, they will always evolve, just at a way slower pace.

the term living fossil is being debated in the archaeological community because it makes it seem like some creatures haven't evolved, when they did just again, really. fuckin. slow. living fossils are used by creationists and cryptozoologists completely out of context and never correctly. the term stibliomorph is being proposed as a candidate for replacing the term livong fossil, because it more accurately describes what these creatures are- lil shits that evolve at the pace of a snail.

and THAT is why i as so many others interested in this field think that stibliomorph should be used in place of livong fosil. thank you for coming to my ted talk lmao.

holy shit bro that’s really cool!! I learned a lot and that’s really interesting ajshajdjd please infodump more I love this

[starcchild]

[any and all of the halloween q's you want to answer! :D

To celebrate October, ask the mun about spooky Autumn things!

((aw yeah dsfgjhsdgfhj

3. Favorite Halloween costume I’ve worn

sdfgjsdfgjh it’s definitely either my turtle Coulson costume or my Steve Rogers Avengers 1 era costume!! Turtle costume was just me dressed in a “suit” (aka black slacks a white button shirt and a black blazer from my mom’s closet dsfjghgfsd) and wearing my cap shield on my back and my friends joking that I looked like a turtle, and then my Steve costume was me wearing black jeans with a plaid button shirt tucked in and a leather jacket sdfgjhgsfd 

actually, with the latter, I attended my high school’s Halloween party with my best friend who went as Peggy and I have a picture still of her literally trying to drag me across the floor because I Refused to dance dgjhsdfhj

9. Favorite classic movie/book monster

werewolves!! I just,,, love shapeshifters and werewolves are cool sfdghjsgfdjhk

18. Favorite Halloween candy

uhhh I’m gonna go with kit-kats or almond joys! O:

19. Do you like going to Halloween stores?

kinda? like, I love looking at the decorations and costumes, but they tend to be crowded and up my anxiety like no tomorrow rip

23. Have you ever gone to a corn maze?

yes!! I went two years ago, actually, and it was a lot of fun!!

24. How about a pumpkin patch?

also yes!! the most recent was two years ago, but I’ve been a few times before that as well, and it’s also a lot of fun!!

27. Do you call apples covered in sweets: caramel apples, candy apples, toffee apples, or something else?

caramel apples! fun fact: when I first got my braces off, the first thing I ate was a caramel apple sdfgjhsdfjh

29. Do you believe in ghosts? If so, have you ever had an experience?

mmmm yeah! I’d say I do - like, I’m not a strong believer and I’ll call bs on almost every paranormal show out there (ngl tho, buzzfeed unsolved is my favorite sdfghjgsdf), but I do think something could be out there! I don’t like saying the science we know is the end all, since there’s plenty we still don’t understand yet, and I like paranormal stuff

with that I said I actually have had an encounter before! and with a shadow person which was something dsfgjhdgsfjh - first encounter was at a friend’s house, which had Major bad vibes bc she had a Ouija board that her little sibling played with with their friends and we were pretty certain that fucked something up (it was a group sleepover and downstairs was fine, but we were all afraid of going upstairs sdfgjhkfd), and then later one of her friends went into the office with a candle and it just. went out with no explanation (there was no air vent or fan/ac going, and no one blew it out so it was Freaky

my experience with a shadow person was with my best friend (the one who dressed as Peggy one year sdfgjhgsfd) and she saw it too! it had been standing in that lil hall entryway of the hotel room we were in, and later that night I rolled over and saw it next to my bed - arms resting on the mattress as it stared at me and it freaked me the fuck out dsfgjhkgfsd - but I did manage to get some sleep somehow! so if it was there to cure my insomnia,,, pls come back I wanna sleep sdfghjsfdgkjl

30. If you live in a climate where the trees change colors, do you like walking/driving around and looking at them?

YES!!

where I live currently I actually experience seasons instead of just hot, we’re living on the sun hot, hot, and warm, and I love it dsfgjhksgfdhj

I especially like walking around because I can take my camera with me and I can get pictures!! 

33. If you could be any legendary monster, what would you be?

MOTHMAN

because why not sdfhjfsdghj

honestly I’m already a cryptid in my neighborhood dsfgjhsdhj

[honeyymistt]

[1/2] hey, okay, it's me again. i feel like i'm treating you like an unpaid therapist but idk where to share this and how to get help (this is kinda lengthy, and i do apologise for that)

i think i'm running out of patience for myself on how to live with myself; all my favourite artists and fictional characters experience this same hollow loneliness but they just— keep going..... despite it all. i'm trying to keep busy with studying but that quickly led to an all-nighter and now i can't fall asleep despite my exhaustion. i think the goals i've had in mind for myself are too high, so i'm just going to spend the next week reading without shame or guilt and try to finally start learning russian. i don't really take care of my physical fitness bc i'm always tired and i feel like all my energy is spent on keeping in check with eating and taking care of my physical hygiene. i have so much time each day and yet at the end of the day i still feel like i did nothing even though i read and studied a lot. i just feel like i'm stagnated, still in my 16-year-old teenage mind bc i spent my youth numbing myself bc i couldn't stand my own thoughts. i havent talked to anyone really, besides my famil, in weeks, and i know loneliness is a common feeling most of us carry with us, but since i'm not very smart and don't know about a lot of things that matter, like history and art, i just feel so inadequate because all these people i look up to, and secretly aspire to be, are fundamentally different from me. they have rich inner lives even in times of despair, they know how to build their own lives in the rubble and just keep on going despite it all. i just feel like a shell of a human being (dramatic i know). i'm also aware that i'm highly privileged and don't have to worry about money and housing, etc. and i'm grateful for that but despite that I just hate myself and I wish I could be someone else and change; I've tried to over the past years but i never make any actual changes in my life? I don't want to die per se, I just don't want to keep on living like this.

[2/2] also, with the looming climate desaster and our world being ruled by capitalism i know a lot of worries and problems stem from that;;;; also i've had this very embarrassing conversation with my family a month ago; i was very drunk and ofc started talking about capitalism, etc. and lgbtq rights. they're very conservative, smart and well-read and i'm just the complete opposite— my point being, bc i feel so desperately lonely i'm trying to have these conversations with the people around me that are obviously only really meant to be had with close pals and not with 60 year olds who only care about the bootstrap theory etc. anyway my grandmother called me out on my bs and said "so what have you done in your life so far?" nothing. i shouldn't complain about other people, politics etc. and the patriarchal, white supremacist strucures around us bc i've never worked a day in my life...... it's just. i know she's right. but like i literally don't know how to hold conversations anymore and can never recall stuff i read accurately so i'm just talking shit the whole time. i'm so desperately trying to get their approval but i'm just not well-read and smart enough. i know being dumb is not the worst thing to be, i'm alive and living in a well-situated area, but it's the only thing i used to define myself with. my parents expected a lot of us as children and i couldn't deliver. so i pretty much forced them to stop pressuring me but i wish they did now. bc then i would be smart, worldly and have a bright future. i'm sorry for the long rambling. i also don't want to ruin your feed by my long asks...... anyway, if you have any advice i would be so glad to hear it. bc i feel like i'm going slightly insane. -💌 sorry for doing this <33 🤠 feel free to just delete this;;;

hi 💌-anon!!!

don't feel bad for sending this in. your long post is going to have a long answer and it ruining my feed is literally the last thing on my mind. if it bothers people, that's on them ;) similarly to the last ask you sent in, i kind of just pulled out a few things that you wrote and decided to give my perspective on it. i hope that reading some of my (very scrambled) thoughts will relax your mind and heart just a little bit. everything will be okay, i promise.

so the first thing that stood out to me was when you mentioned how all of your favorite fictional characters just keep on going when they feel lonely and i know how frustrating that can be because it's so glorified. they just keep going and then boom! things are better, right? i want you to remember that this is fiction and not an accurate representation of how hard the feeling of loneliness actually hits. so try not to compare yourself to your favorite character and beat yourself up if you're not dealing with loneliness as well as they did because everything in fiction is better and easier.

as for feeling exhausted because of the goals you've made for yourself, i know what you mean. i'm such a perfectionist and workaholic (i suffered from such bad burn out this year). i'm learning how to lower them as well. it's good to be ambitious. it's amazing to have big dreams and goals but you have to prepare yourself for setbacks and failure. so from now on, it's decided that you and me, are going to be accountability buddies. no more unrealistic goals and deadlines. i will hold you accountable, you will hold me accountable and we'll improve together 🤍

so you don't know about things like history and art and you claim that these are things that matter. but matter to who? are you genuinely intrigued by these things? if you are, then study it. read about it. ask questions. but if they just matter to your family, then i really don't think you need to know about these things extensively. it's always good to know things generally but if you aren't interested, then don't waste your time learning about it just to please others.

i could be completely wrong, but from what i understood from your message, you feel really lonely and you're starting to feel a bit stuck. you're surrounded by people who are different from you and that sometimes makes you feel suffocated because the conversations you want to have aren't wanted by others. the first thing i noticed in your message is that you repeatedly call yourself stupid or dumb. you need to stop that, okay? if you keep telling that to yourself, it will destroy a lot of opportunities for you. trust me, i know. you will turn down opportunities thinking that you're not smart enough for it but it's not true. you don't need to be smart to have a bright future. you can be creative, you can athletic, you can be selfless, you can be funny. maybe you just need to embrace who you are and trust that you will have a bright future by just being you. i'll tell you something: you don't need to be exactly like your family to have their success. you need a determination and a good work ethic. where do you start? stop underselling your intelligence. believe in yourself!!!

P.S i can tell that you're smart because your vocabulary is out of this world!!! and oh my god, can we talk about your punctuation? like bestie, you're ahead of the game. i also had to google what the bootstrap theory is. you are smarter than you give yourself credit for!!

another thing i would encourage you to do is to avoid "deep" conversations with your family. if your family is very conservative, there are going to be certain topics that they just won't understand and it might make you frustrated or feel misunderstood; it might make you feel more lonely. i would advise you to just stick to more lighthearted conversations with them. it's not that you don't know how to hold conversations, it's just that the people you're talking to aren't the right listeners.

my sweet 💌-anon, times like these are normal! we all feel lonely at times and i know it's tough and it's frustrating and you feel like nothing in your life is going to work out but i promise you, it will. the universe has it's way of doing that. if i could, i would give you the chance to see yourself the way i see you - full of potential, warm-hearted, and so so deserving of a good life filled with love, caring people and success. times are tough, but so are you. you haven't made it this far to only come this far!! remember that i'm here for you every step of the way and you can message me any time you need to. i will never delete it or ignore you. i love talking to you <3

[trishmilburn]

Wonho, Monsta X, The Culture of Online Hate and Standing Up for What’s Right

One of the challenges of being an author is knowing where to start a story. I find myself facing that same question as I begin this blog post. There are times when we are feeling so many emotions at once that it’s difficult to express them fully. But I’m writer, and I should be able to put feelings into words even when those feelings are like a maelstrom inside of me.

As many of you know, I dove head-first into the world of K-pop a year ago. It wasn’t something I sought out. It almost seems like destiny that it found me, and I’m so glad that it did. At the time I found K-pop, I was at a crossroads of a sort. Though I’d been publishing books for a decade, the market was changing and I was burning out on the types of stories I was telling. I still loved those stories, put my all into them, and I’m thankful to my editors, publishers and readers for the opportunities and support they’ve given me. But that creative part of me wasn’t truly happy anymore. And I had no idea what to do about it because this is how I make my living. Did I have to give up the idea of enjoying what I do in order to put food on the table and pay the rent? That was depressing, to say the least. After all, I’d left journalism because I wanted to write fiction full-time. I didn’t think I could go back to being a journalist in today’s climate.

Enter K-pop, which I found by way of watching Korean dramas. Not since I was a teenager into a variety of 1980s hair bands (Hello, Bon Jovi! You’re still awesome!) had I been so into music. And to be honest, I’m pretty sure I’m enjoying music more now than I ever have in my life. That is saying a lot considering I’m a 49-year-old white lady from the American South and that enjoyment is originating a world away in a country I’ve never been to. But K-pop is infectious in the very best way. Not only are the typically upbeat songs fun to listen to, the entire world of K-pop is fun and fascinating. It has brought me countless hours of enjoyment. I listen to K-pop in my car on long road trips to concerts in Atlanta and on short trips to the grocery store. Dance is one of my two preferred forms of exercise in addition to walking at our local beach, and the playlists are all K-pop. I love watching not only the official music videos, but also the dance practices, the goofy videos the groups do in Halloween costumes, and the variety shows on which you get to know them better. K-pop is a bright, colorful, happy-making world of singing, rapping, dancing, fashion, cosmetics and more.

Until it isn’t. Today is one of those days. K-pop is not immune to the current world of online hate. While social media has allowed me to connect with my readers and fellow K-pop and K-drama fans around the world, which is fantastic, we all know it also had a dark side. Behind a computer screen, people say the most heinous things to each other, often people they don’t even know. Often while hiding their real identities. But in the current climate, many don’t even feel the need to hide their identities anymore. They feel free to direct hate at others in the full light of day, and others egg them on. It’s disgusting and it harms people who do not deserve it.

Today’s victim is Wonho from the group Monsta X. They are one of the four groups I’ve seen in concert so far this year, and their concert was fabulous. Wonho wasn’t feeling well during the show, but none of us knew that until he collapsed and had to be helped off stage. A bit later he came back out and apologized. I just wanted to wrap him in a hug and tell him he didn’t have to apologize for not being well. After all, these idols (that’s what members of K-pop groups are called) push themselves hard. They are constantly working, running on little sleep and little food to make it in a highly competitive industry that can easily discard them because there are always more groups debuting that can take their place. It’s exhausting just thinking about it.

An apology from a K-pop idol for the slightest perceived infraction or disappointment to fans is not unusual in an industry where them even dating is often considered a scandal. Not only do they have to perform their professional duties, but they are expected to be perfect with nary a wrong step, even before they became idol trainees. It’s unrealistic and it’s unfair. Who among us hasn’t done something in our life, particularly when we were young, that we regret? Something we learned from and grew because of having done it. Idols are not allowed this luxury of having been at any point a normal human youth. This is the fault of the companies they work for and the unrealistic expectations of certain segments of the fandoms.

Then there are the netizens who, for whatever twisted reason, love to cause chaos and do actual harm to the idols and their careers. That’s where we are today. There is a certain young woman in South Korea who has repeatedly caused problems for idols in one way or another. It’s often difficult to dig down to the root cause of why scandals blow up in K-pop, but supposedly she or her boyfriend posted some snarky comment about Wonho owing someone money. If that is true, there are ways of rectifying the situation that don’t include destroying someone’s career or life. Don’t take to social media where the person in question is not the only one who gets hurt. Wonho had also been the target of other malicious rumors for something taken out of context, and now Shownu, another member of Monsta X, has been targeted by false rumors. I don’t know that this is the case, but it feels very coordinated because of the timing. Monsta X just released a new album this week and are in their promotion period, and in the world of K-pop there is unfortunately an element that likes to try to tear down other bands so their own favorites can supposedly rise higher. This is complete nonsense and yet it seems to fester and spread like a disease. I don’t know the reasoning behind the attacks on Wonho and Shownu, but it’s part of a bigger problem – that of unchecked online hate.

I say unchecked because instead of the idols’ companies standing behind them, instead of them saying, “No, we will not let you tear down this person who has put his heart and soul into making his group a success and is beloved by fans,” they always put out the same kind of statement that the idol made the decision to leave the group for the good of the rest of the group members. I call a huge sack of BS! Even if Wonho did say he would leave for the good of his brothers in Monsta X – and I say brothers deliberately because K-pop groups become family since they live together, work together, vacation together, love each other – Starship Entertainment executives should have said to him, “That’s admirable but not necessary. We’re going to stand with you and behind you as we fight this. We will help you get through it, and you and the rest of Monsta X will come out stronger on the other side.” I would have admired them greatly for taking this stand, which is not something you see from the Korean entertainment companies. Instead, the idols are allowed to make sacrificial lambs of themselves for “the good of the group.” Again, I call BS. This is for the good of the companies’ monetary bottom lines. In no way do I believe that Shownu, Minhyuk, Kihyun, Hyungwon, Joohoney and I.M benefit from this. I’m sure in this moment their hearts are breaking and they’re worried about their dear friend, their brother, more than anything else. And yet they are going to be expected to perform to promote this new album in the midst of all this upheaval and heartbreak.

I chose not to have kids of my own, but in moments like these there is a dormant mama-bear instinct inside of me that makes itself known. I want to wrap all these boys, who are young enough to be my sons, in a protective hug and swat away anyone who dares take a swipe at them. I want to tell them that I’ll be strong for them while they’re hurting. I want to hold those attacking them to account and make sure they pay for what they’ve done. And I want to tell their company to grow a spine. I know the culture is different in Korea than it is here in the U.S., but how many times have you seen an American celebrity do much worse and no one bats an eye? There is a middle ground between letting people get away with true wrongdoing and destroying a person’s life and career for something that wouldn’t even be – and shouldn’t be – a blip on the radar here. And we should allow people to acknowledge youthful missteps that are relatively harmless – if they even happened – apologize, and move on. It’s called growth, and it can be an inspiration to others. If all of us who ever made a mistake as a teenager lost our careers because of it, there would be a lot of unemployed people walking around.

What needs to happen is this: all the Korean entertainment companies need to band together and say enough is enough. Rumors and magnifying small incidents to the point where netizens are ready to ride with torches and pitchforks should be called out and the instigators held to account, even by legal means. The companies need to stand behind their idols when they are attacked instead of throwing them away like they are disposable. Taking them away from everything they’ve worked for and their bandmates is cruel, not unlike ripping a child from his family and then telling them it’s their fault. If an idol has a problem, find them help. They are under so much pressure that it’s no surprise that they offer suffer from anxiety and depression, and unfortunately Korea still reportedly has an antiquated view of mental health. It’s part of the reason – along with external attacks – for their abysmal suicide rate. Look no further than Sulli, another K-pop idol who recently committed suicide after being attacked online for years. I don’t know that there has been a line drawn between those two things, but my gut tells me that it was at least a contributing factor. And I don’t want to hear of it ever happening again. Too many young, beautiful, kind, talented, giving lives are being lost.

Today, I’ve gotten next to no work done. I can’t pull my thoughts away from Wonho and how wrongly he’s been treated, how much he, the rest of the group and fans are hurting. I’ve been fighting crying all day because I know I’ll just feel worse afterward. I hate to see injustice. It just eats me alive inside. And unfortunately we are seeing more and more of it. Some might say there are worse injustices in the world than this. Yes and no. Yes, children ripped from their families at the border and genocide are great evils, but wrong is wrong. And what has happened to Wonho and other idols in the past because of online attacks is all kinds of wrong.

Wonho, if by some chance you and the rest of Monsta X read this, I hope you’re able to take comfort from the fact that you have many fans around the world who love you and who will go to bat for you. I hope you’re able to focus on those voices instead of the hateful ones. As a creative, I know it’s difficult to not focus on the vocal minority, the ones who say the negative things. Those are the voices that work their way insidiously into our brains, but we have to fight against them and remember that there are many more people to whom you have brought joy and to whom you will continue to bring job as a member of Monsta X if we have anything to say about it.

And to the decision-makers at Starship Entertainment, do the right thing. Do what is right, not what is easy or most beneficial to your bottom line. Bring Wonho back and stand up to the people who attack your idols, the people who work hard to make your company successful.

[ralfstrashcan]

3x21 Reaction / Commentary

I was seriously wondering if this was Alec because Magnus loss = melt down = shaky fingers but Alec would never voluntarily drink something so pretentious. But uuhhh I had thought Jonathan angry-flapped through the rift to Edom? Why he now here still?

More seelie queen crown, yeah!!

Not buying that whole “your demon blood is burning away your humanity” because, again, he lived years without being bonded to Clary so what's taken that “transformation” so long? Also, will he become like, a raven? A harpy? Oh no, I saw the promo. He'll be blond. Makes sense.

He just showed that he's not interested, stop harassing him you sick cougar.

Uhhhhh, objection your honor. That fake blade only contained like three atoms of the original Glorious. But whatever, details amiright.

Also if they wanna tell me it's the blade that triggered the transformation then a) wtf why would a blade designed to break something evil make the evil actually MORE evil wtf for a shit equipment is that b) can we expect some ridic changes for Clary too, that make her even more Mary Sue? c) if Lucifer was so badass, where is he? Something killed him, maybe? Since Jonathan is declared most uniquest thing to ever unique?

“A splendid pet bird. And he died a few decades back so I'd like to recruit you as replacement,. Whatcha say? I'll even drop bird themed pick up lines around you all day.” God I'm making myself sick.

BS when you think about it, because every individual is unique. Good luck salvaging the climate change and what not, seelie queen, on your heroic quest to preserve all that is unique.

#rejected, take that you prowling predator. Can you believe she annoyed him so much he just abandoned his pretentious cream drink thingy? So rude. Also nice touch that they remembered that thing with the flowers and Jonathan making them poor flowers wilt. Btw would that have worked if they were plastic flowers?? Haha ok sorry.

Wtf I'm very much not on board with the seelie queen having a weird Jonathan fetish. Also, if the sole reason she has it is that Jonathan is ��one of a kind” then I wonder why she wasn't ruthlessly hitting on Simon the same way? Or technically, before Simon became a daylighter, on Cain, getting him to leave the sewers and chill in the seelie realm instead?

1) Wow can you believe they managed to spare Malec's drama 3 seconds of consideration before getting absorbed in themselves again? Amazing. 2) Dude, you weren't in control of your actions while Clary was brainwashed and very much in control of her actions. That's not really comparable? But whatever.

Some great “love” you've got going on there, Maryse, writing Magnus off after, what? Half a day? Two days? Smh.

???????????????????? So they want to tell me Magnus plastered his magic like a bandaid over the rift but didn't really close it? Well, I am prepared with outrage to point out all the ways in which this is bullshit.

1) There clearly was no such thing to be seen from the other side.

Since Edom and Earth are two different dimensions and on Earth's side there was no rift in the dimension's fabric anymore that obviously means if the wraiths slipped through that Edom crack they'd either be lost in limbo or flapping around in some inter-dimesional space. But they couldn't reach Earth. So I fail to see how this is a problem.

2) How the hell do the NY Shadowhunters know about this? Since from their side the rift was well and truly closed? They don't know that Magnus has to keep his magical band-aid in place? The only thing they have to wonder about is why the hell Magnus hasn't returned yet since Magnus proved in 3x20 that apparently interdimensional travel works with normal warlock portals and those fancy pentagram things aren't necessary.

3) Uhhhh if Magnus has to stay there to keep up the magical band-aid (since exit options clearly aren't the issue here) wtf won't he tire at some point? Am I supposed to believe exhausting isn't a thing in Edom? What happens if he has to sleep? (Sidenote, what the hell do they eat in Edom anyway? Will he have to roast some shax demons? Disturbing.) Anyway back to the topic at hand, if I'm supposed to believe that Magnus is THAT strong he can keep up this magic (a magic that was so enormous he couldn't even achieve it from Earth) for eternity without taking a break, then I doubly don't get why he can't just SEAL the goddamn rift?! And don't tell me it's because band-aid magic is something he can do, and different from  rift sealing magic which is something he can't do. Because again, 2x20 is a thing where Magnus proves that he is capable of sealing a rift; so the only explanation of why he didn't do it in 3x20 is because the rift was too powerful. Now correct me if I'm wrong but to me Magnus + Enhanced Edom Powers equals He Closes The Rift, not Weird Band-Aid Magic. Wtf.

HAHAHAH I CAN'T!!!!! THANKS MAGNUS FOR POINTING THIS OUT!!! AND IN THE SASSIEST WAY POSSIBLE!!!!! IT'S BEEN BUGGING ME SINCE 3x10 XD XD XD

Love that shot.

1) Thanks, Lilith, for confirming that Magnus is in fact constantly supplying the band-aid with magic and thus exposing this whole plot line as completely frakkin illogical. 2) Wtf Lilith, why the heck did you go back to Edom in 3x16 if you wanted to murder Jonathan????? IT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL WTF 3) Where tf is Cain?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T

Wow that escalated quickly. I hate that even though Magnus knows it's just a trick to get into his head it still hurts him, because this is how he is: alwasy second-guessing his worth. He deserves better from all of them, deserves more from them, so he wouldn't feel this so keenly.

Ok, good save, I was just gearing up for a rage about why the hell Magnus is more powerful than the literal mother of demons who could defeat everyone, even with his Ddom-Edition-Powers because come on. However, Magnus must know that this is just a temporal solution because recovering means at some point she'll be recovered and, well.

Also, this shot haha.

Hahahaha I see he inherited the hell puns from Asmodeus along with the real estate XD

I mean, yeah, and then he acted like a total fool in his last few days. Great way to go, man. #stillbitter

“People mattered to Jordan. People, their troubles, their pain...”

That was sweet.

HAHAHAHA THAT WAS HILARIOUS

Probably off to do something to enrage me, so same as always.

Oh look, he's robbing a bakery because being jobless and needing food doesn't mix well.

OMG I SUDDENLY REMEMBER THIS FROM THE 3B TRAILER. You know, Luke being all creepy in the back of a car? Wtf, honestly I think I'll have even less patience for Human!Luke than I have Inapt!Werewolf!Luke. They're really testing me.

“....like Sizzy” Hahahah okay I'll try to behave myself. And I had time to prepare, it was obvious they'd use that inspirational thing Maia said for Sizzy purposes.

Yeah...... #irony #obviously me behaving myself isn't working out, who's surprised? I'm not.

Don't they have fire extinguishers in the Institute somewhere? I mean, there's regulations for that, right? Lemme guess, that's remnants of the Glorious fake sword that pierced her? And now she can't be with Simon without killing him, hahaha, all Sizzy problems solved XD

When I saw this (in the Sneak Peek, but still counts) my first thought was “Aha NOW he tries to find a solution but when Magnus first lost his magic he couldn't be bothered RUDE ALEC WTF” lol ahahahah

Question time: 1) Didn't he have plants in there last episode?

OH RIGHT HE HAD!!! What happened to them? *Sherlock Voice* Did he eat them??

2) Why didn't Alec wonder where the hell Lorenzo was? Sure, he's a little preoccupied atm with losing Magnus, but he should have realized Lorenzo was weirdly absent about five hours into his happy little loft occupation???

3) I fully expected the scratching to be Chameleon!Lorenzo vying for attention, but seeing it, omg my heart broke a little. Can you imagine the desperation?? Poor evil lizard baby.

You know, I find it inherently troubling that Alec assumes Magnus always had this lizard and has only now decided to relocate its terrarium into the loft's main room, instead of thinking Magnus got the lizard as, idk, a pick-me-up after the breakup. I mean, what kind of lousy pet holder does he take Magnus for? Not even mentioning he has one, never taking care of it? That's not Magnus. Alec should know better.

Als Bohemian so incisively pointed out, why would he have created a pet cobra that he calls “baby” if he hated reptiles? And while, granted, Alec might not know about this, I believe Cat should. So wtf.

.....................................they honestly felt the need to tell her this? In grave detail and that this was their first kiss? Why would they do that?? Or did she look at the tapes??? So many questions.

Lol okay I didn't even intend to be so spot on with the Sizzy prediction. More importantly though, she won't be able to shadowhunt anymore.

Why is anyone (except Magnus (and occasionally Alec)) left in charge of anything, ever. *sigh*

But I mean, at least there's this

Small mercies (aka comedic pockets in a vast sea of illogic shit) I guess XD

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA I AM DEAD I CAN'T HAHAHAH HIS FACE!!!!!!!!!!

Jace is me, I am Jace

So.... many....... questions...............

Okay, so I'm severely confused. If this demon has info on what's happening in Edom right now, then either he left Edom after Lilith started gathering her army so there's a rift there somewhere, OR there's a way for news to travel between Edom and Earth, probably through, you guessed it, a tiny rift. So wtf, show, please explain because I don't understand.

..............................................................

The audacity. The fucking audacity. MAGNUS WILL BE DEAD, IS WHAT YOU SHOULD TAKE AWAY FROM THAT. NOT THAT THE RIFT REOPENS ARE YOU KIDDING ME WTF JACE I CAN'T BELIEVE IT I EVEN CURSED EXPLICITLY I NEVER DO THAT WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Wow. Alec, can you please punch him?

Don't get me wrong. They're shadowhunters, of course it is their duty to prevent this to protect the mundanes. But, delivery?! Show some worry at the prospect of the love of your parabatai's life dying??? before continuing with business as usual?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SAME CLARY, BECAUSE WTF?! I REPEAT, WTF!!!! Didn't she listen to Helen at all? It's not going to protect her, it's going to blast her to frakking pieces. Wtf how dumb is she??? Hääääääääääää?????

lol Simon, you'd just stab yourself in the eye with it XD But I appreciate the sentiment XD

I AM THIS CLOSE TO JUST, RECORD MY LAUGHTER BECAUSE I'M DYYYYYING OVER HERE OKAY HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA Also he should call Maia, because life as a werewolf suxx way less than life as a vampire. Then again, IMMORTAL HUSBANDS SIGN ME THE F UP, IMMORTAL ALEC WAS ENDGAME ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Okay, on a more coherent note. I LOVE this line. I was so painfully deprived of Alec throwing himself into risk and action just to protect and help Magnus during 3B that it's not even funny. So this was really awesome. But, consider this: if he really wanted to go through with it he'd have to wait like a whole day before the transformation is completed, so uhhh impracitcal.

YES. YES. PLEASE MORE OF ENRAGED ALEC SCOLDING THEM LIKE THE KIDS THEY ARE. (But, uh, ragefully running away from his sire in spe wasn't the cleverest move if he wants to go through with it immediately ahaha XD)

I mean, nice of them to contriubute. All it took was Alec (!!!!!) flipping his shit. It seems they didn't have the idea to look into something themselves. Lol I'm inclined to be with Lilith on that one, are they even worth it??? Smh.

Full disclosure, for the longest time I was sure those were burning dog shit piles XD

Can we talk about how Jonathan is at a point where he doesn't really seem to care if he lives or dies because everything is pointless to him? (Btw if I manage to actually write the epic 3x21+22 rewrite I have in mind then it'd start here.)

I mean this was smooth and all, but......? Wasn't Meliorn like, totally over Izzy? I'm meaning this in a premonition-y way, not just this line. His rekindled feelings come pretty much out of nowhere.

I get that this is the alliance rune from the books. But why the hell would she do that in this situation instead of a rune that allows Shadowhunters to survive in Edom? In which universe is alliance rune your first thought instead of resiliance rune?? Or just a plain Accio Magnus rune, ffs!!!Makes no sense.

This is epic and all, but excuse me while I roll my eyes real hard.

Also ignoring the seelie queen and her weird fetish 2.0 because who cares.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT LORENZO IS A FANBOY HAHAHAHA I BET YOU HE WILL CORNER SIMON AT SOME POINT AND BEG HIM FOR AN AUTOGRAPH HAHAHAHAHA

“As my first act on the Downworld Council...”

So you mean to tell me that from 3x02 til 3x21 actually only a week passed? Because the Downworld Council meetings are weekly scheduled??? Tf hahaha.

Hahahhahhaa I mean I totally get why he reacts that way. Also, may I ask the dreaded question: WHERE THE F IS CATARINA???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No honestly, I give up. I just. I give up.

Hahahahaha

“The angels wouldn't have given me this power if they didn't want me to use it.”

Premonition!Ralf: Ha. Hahahhahaha. Ha.

THE COMEDY WE DESERVE HAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA PERFECT!!!! Not least because it's immediately followed by

which makes it seem as if Lorenzo is complimenting Meliorn's prowess as a lover LOL

SIGH. So in 3x10 it was the portal that allowed Magnus to EASILY travel back to Earth, not Asmodeus kindly giving him a lift. So then let me ask why the hell he didn't make a portal like this in 3x20?! Did he already know he wouldn't be able to seal the rift but would have to keep it closed 24/7? Ridiculous. Also, why does Alec even ask this, since he saw Magnus use that exact same portal in 3x10.

I think you should have held frikkin hands.

HAHAHA ALEC, HONEY, WHAT WOULD YOU WRITE ANYWAY???? “We're right here, next to those withered trees. There's sand on the ground and wraiths in the sky. Everything looks red. And from here I can see that one ruin!!”

Weird Lorenzo & Alec bonding is intriguing. That's all I'm saying on the matter for now. I'm reserving judgement.

(Edit: After watching both 3x21 and 3x22 this clearly marks the point where Lorenzo's Instant Redemption Arc sets in and simultaneously comes to a close. Thanks, I hate it. Let antagonists be antagonists, dammit. At the end of the day not everyone is a goody two-shoes. That's life. UGH. Also, let me introduce my theory that while traveling between Earth and Edom Lorenzo's character was ripped from him in a severe Plot Convenience Turbulence. What a shame.)

But hell yeah to Alec's emotions running rampant and him being unable to control the magic. Another headcanon confirmed (that I didn't really knew I had, lol).

Hahahahha dude could you be any more pretentious XD XD XD

Hahahahahahaha this is the best day of my life.

Hahahaha Meliorn just got promoted to one of my favorites. Better late than never amiright.

I get this, this taking stock conversation, from a meta standpoint. But BITCH CAN YOU FOCUS ON MAGNUS FOR ONCE IN YOUR SELF-ABSORBED LIFE IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK WTF DAMMIT

Yeah, me too. Who knew demonic transformations came with a villain hairdo make over?? Nature truly is beautiful.

Me, watching: I might be totally oblivous, but did this crown always have a stripe thing on the top, too? Ralf, editing this reaction post: Yes. Yes it did. You're not as observant as you like to think. Me, reading that: .......harsh

..........do I have to understand why he isn't running away screaming? I get the instinct to wreak havoc because everything hurts and is pointless but wtf, the seelie queen is doing the exact same things Lilith did to him. Using him, only seeing him as a power source that has to be cultivated but has no feelings, no worth, and weirdly kissing him. He should, for all intents and purposes, be running for the hills. (But also, uh, neat nail polish and rings, seelie queen. You've got style.)

HAHAHAHA I mean, I already prepared two Jeliorn Dumb Comics, but this is reaching ridiculous levels XD XD XD I'm soooo here for it.

Hahahahaha XD XD XD

“Runes bubbling back, incredible” Yeah, no shit. I'm not buying. I could even largely argue my point, making references to the seelies that got “treated” in 3x17 that weren't rendered half-human-half-angel but mundane, meaning they lost their angelic part, too, meaning the serum removes angelic blood as well as demon blood. But since I couldn't care less about Luke (right now or in general? That's your guess to make) I'm not even getting worked up over it XD

Dude, you're aware this is like the perfect opening for getting a verbal diss, right?

Wow, three seconds a shadowhunter and here we are with the racist jokes again. That was quick.

Also, let me say how exceedingly ridiculous it is that Luke just walks out of there with a “No thank you” and Evil Praetor Guy does nothing against it literally because Luke said “But blackmailing me would mean you're evil ;__;”

bitch please

Look, can we appreciate this a little more? Like, a lot more??? Can I pause the episode here and stare at this for half an hour or something????? Alec saying he's willing to just, leave behind life as he knew it, very possibly never seeing anyone of his family again, just so he gets to stay with Magnus? I mean, that's some Major Immortal Alec Energy right there. Serve me more please.

..................wow instead I get Clary depriving me of a Malec Reunion Smooch wtf?! Uuuhhhh no thank you!!!!

AHAHAHA THAT SUFFERING FACE HAHAHAHAHA OMG AMAZING Kicked Pouting Suffering Puppy Jace <3<3<3

Btw what Jace said about Simon really gave me something to think about. I'm confused but intrigued. I like.

[nodaisieswithoutrainsies]

Need Help With Mental Health and Getting out of an Abusive Situation

Okay so here’s my deal. My mom has abused me (mostly mentally, emotionally, and financially, but there’s been a decent amount of physical abuse too) since I was about 12 years old. I’m 21 now. I went away to college for a few years but due to some unforeseen circumstances I’ve had to move back home until Fall 2020. It’s just me and my mom. We don’t talk to extended family, I don’t have a father or siblings.

When I was 14 I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, Bipoar Depression, and GAD. When I was 18, ADHD was officially added in, and within the past month I’ve accepted my ASD diagnosis. I’ve been fully medicated for the past 7.5 year’s, and in outpatient therapy with the same wonderful therapist for that entire time. When I was 15 I voluntarily (it was my idea) put myself into a partial program for a month for suicidal ideation and depression and self harm. When I was 16 almost 17 I voluntarily (again, my idea) took myself to the ER to go into inpatient therapy in psychology ward at New York Presbyterian, but was only there for a week because the counsellors there all came to the agreement that I was in better shape than I knew and released me, but with a binder of coping mechanisms and into the care of that same therapist I still have. At this point in my life, I’m very self aware, I can take care of myself and my mental healthy by myself, and I’m extremely proud of the progress I’ve made to better myself as a person and take care of my mental health. My friends, my therapist, my boyfriend of 5 years (best friend of 8), and my godmother all agree and praise me for my progress.

My mother, as I said, has abused me. Getting worse and worse over the years (as I contrarily got better). When she’s in a good mood, she dotes on me and does everything for me and lavishly spends money on me and pines for my attention. None of which I ask her to do because.... When she’s in a bad mood, whether or not because of me (when the only reason it’s “because of me” is when I’m not feeling great and liked to be alone) she takes it out on me. Hits me, curses at me, threatens me, berates me, tells me I’ve made no progress and I’m crazy, that she’s a perfect mother, that nothing is wrong with her, she attacks me with specific hurtful insults (“that’s why he doesn’t really love you!”), and holds all of her good mood antics over my head. She’s called the police on me >10 times since I was 14. They always take me for an evaluation, I’m always let go saying the cops are crazy. This past Friday, she threatened and tried to kill me. Then lost her mind rocking back and forth on her knees. So I called and ambulance. Ended up in her freaking out and calling the cops on ME for originally trying to de-escalate what did in fact turn out to be a hostile situation. I got released, but not without all the nurses and paramedics tending to me, as well as the crisis counsellor setting me free, all giving me some support saying they believed me, giving me numbers of support places in the area to help adult abuse victims.

My therapist has a lot of interaction with my mom, as she gives out her cell phone, comes to my graduation parties, has had sessions with me and my mom, and has had us to her house before. Plus my mother frequently texts her and emails her insanities and false stories, accusations, and ramblings about me. So at this point, my therapist has diagnosed my mother with Narcossistic Personality Disorder, as well as Borderline Peraonality Disorder. My mom has briefly (~6 weeks) gone to another therapist, but that was years ago. She constantly denies she has mental health issues besides her depression (which she deals with by drinking excessively, self harming, and attacking me). She denies that therapy works (yet says it does for me). She’s manipulative of the people around her- spewing lies to police officers even when I’m calm, open about my bipolar/therapy/medication, and looking for help, spewing lies to her friends who never interaction with me so they don’t know anything except that apparently I’m the problem, and spewing lies to her sister, my aunt, the only family we talk to still, and her best friend/former girlfriend/my other parent of over 35 years. No one believes me except my therapist and friends and boyfriend. No cops, not people who “love me”, and obviously not her. She frequently tries to get me arrested or admitted to a hospital involuntarily. She has ~$16k of my money in her account that she keeps procrastinating giving me.

I recently opened my own bank accounts not attached to hers. I work, I go to school. I’m an aspiring Marine Geologist and I’d like to get my Masters and PhD. When I hopefully graduate May 2021, I will move to California to go to graduate school and make my own life. Away from her, never to speak to her again.

I don’t have much money, even once she does actually give me the money from her account. To finish my BS I need a total of ~$23k. My saved money was for school, not living expenses or car insurance or groceries etc. Hence why I moved home while I completed some prerequisites around where I live. I will move out if I absolutely have to, by my 4 cats are here, two of which are senile and sick. I don’t love my mom. I can’t at this point. I have PTSD or the similar diagnosis from the trauma and abuse. I keep denying family therapy because I’m not sure it’ll work if she doesn’t accent any responsibility or open her mind to realise IM not the problem. I have a car, which is not under my name and while I could switch it I can’t afford car insurance. I have my own furniture and stuff to furnish a place that I will be allowed to take with me when I leave.

At this point, family therapy is necessary to entertain her until I leave. I’m looking for advice, resources, anything any of you can give me to help me handle this and make my life good and achieve my ambitions. I’m a generally pretty happy person; I like to read, write poetry/prose/short stories/songs, go hiking and enjoy nature, hang with my friends, make new ones, love animals, volunteer at the humane society, act, sing, improv, be in theatre, sew, and give advice and love to my friends who need it. I’m an advocate for sexual assault victims (twice in my life), mental health, animals, climate change, women, LGBTQ+ community (bisexual and genderqueer!), and eventually for abuse victims once I get out of here. (And by this I mean I actively take strides to advocate for these causes, joining clubs and marches etc, not just saying that because I experience some of them). I’m not a bad person, I don’t think. I try my hardest to always improve, and I wish I was dealt a better hand (don’t we all?). I’m not asking for money, I could never. I’m asking for advice and resources and a community. Anything yall got for me I’d appreciate more than anything. Thank you for listening/reading, I know it was a lot. If you got this far or offer help, I’ll hit you up with a follow even though that won’t be enough to repay your kindness. Ugh sorry that sounded textbook. Idk. But thank you so much. I really appreciate your time and advice.

-Jessica (I’m from downstate NY by the way)

[timewindstudies]

Hey everyone! As you probably know, I’m a tenth grader in a CBSE school right now, and I wanted to give all the students who entered ninth grade some advice!

Most of this would probably apply to the ninth grade equivalent of any school system but there are some things which may only apply to CBSE schools.

here we go:

STUDY 

I’m going to warn you right now, subject material will get more complicated. Don’t be fazed by it, it’s actually quite simple when you get down to the basics. It’s basically embellishing everything you’ve learnt in middle school, and giving you extra information on it.

What I’m trying to say is, TRY AND KEEP YOUR MIDDLE SCHOOL BOOKS (especially for Math and Science!!!)

Please, please, PLEASE pay attention in Chemistry. Especially during the third chapter with the mole concept and valency charts and all of that. I, unfortunately, had the bad luck of being stuck with a chemistry teacher who was absolutely, completely and horrendously bad less than perfect, which ended up messing up my TENTH grade chemistry. Please. Pay attention to Chemistry, even if it’s your best subject. It WILL come back to haunt you.

For Math, please keep track of all the formulae you’ve learnt in past years. Remember them, they’ll come up later. You’ll show up to a test on algebraic functions, and realise you need the formula of a cylinder. Keep. Track. Of. Your. Formulae.

Talking about tests, figure out your mark distribution. I’ve made a post discussing CBSE’s current marking system, but you should also find out how MANY tests you will have, as numbers vary.

Social Science (History, Political Science, Geography, Economics) is a soul-sucking subject which deserves no love ever requires a lot of memorisation techniques, so I’d suggest making various types of notes for it from the beginning of the year.

Chapters to look out for:

Sound (Physics)

Ch-3,4 (Chemistry)

Biodiversity in Living Organisms (Biology)

Russian Revolution (History)

Climate (Geography)

EVERYTHING in Hindi (sorry I’m terrible at Hindi)

Polynomials (Math)

Get people to ask you questions! If you aren’t sure if you Truly know something, hand your notes to your mom and tell her to ask you everything.

Read your book. Read Your Book. READ YOUR BOOK.

Here’s the most important part. Your grades WILL drop. I promise you, no matter how great of a student you are, your grades will drop. People told me this before I started high school and I didn’t believe them, but it’s true. I entered high school as an A+ student and by the first unit tests my Social Science, Hindi and Maths marks had dropped to Bs. I later ended up pulling my shit together and got my grades back up to an A+, but the grade drop is a well known and horrible phenomena. Prepare yourself as best as you can. Work hard and become one of the lucky few who may avoid it.

SOCIAL LIFE

You’re going to go through changes in friendships. It’s totally okay.

You’ll meet some great people and some not so great people! Try to learn from all of them!

Don’t feel pressured to be in a relationship because it’s cool, or somebody likes you. Focus on you. Do what makes you happy.

You’re going to make mistakes. You’re gonna lead someone on, or hurt someone’s feelings or make someone feel small. Take responsibility, and learn from it.

BUT! Don’t blame everything on yourself either! Sometimes, people are toxic and you need to leave them right there! remember, do no harm but take no shit.

Go out and have some fun. Go to a coffee shop with your friends, spend a whole afternoon sleeping in your friend’s bed as they study. You’re going to make unforgettable memories.

+MISC

Deodorant!

Find a good skincare routine that makes you feel fresh.

If you like instrumental music while studying and harry potter, play an instrumental playlist from 8tracks or something and put on an ambient room in the background (harry potter common rooms are amazing!) my personal fave combo is this ravenclaw playlist and this ambient room . Don’t want harry potter? There’s a bunch of ambient rooms. This one is another one of my faves.

Start paying attention to certificates and stuff you get. Write them down somewhere!

DO ALL THE FUN STUFF THIS YEAR. RUN FOR COUNCIL. LEARN A LANGUAGE. THIS IS T H E YEAR.

Take care of your health, mental and physical.

It’s never as bad as it seems.

I believe in you!

Now, go ahead and enjoy your freshman year!

[opposite-idol]

Someone You’d Want

The first classroom of my life that I can remember is sitting underneath that window bright Where I would talk to you every day and night leading me to write words down line by line

While that feels like a lifetime ago back when I was someone else Still can’t tell if I was more myself then, than I am now or if I’m more myself now than i was then

Always hoped to see your face again to be welcomed back into your warmth again Back before my first and only heartbreak incidentally my heart was broken by you But all these years later in seeing who we’ve both become I think I love you even more now that I’m an adult and no longer fourteen years old

All the dreams I’ve been reaching for and grazing my fingertips against are all those little meaningless things you’ve kept for yourself And the grand life you used to live seems to have peeled back, now that you’re just not as famous

After one mistook coincidence in 2005 every time I hear your name or see your face it feels meant to be Hadn’t seen you in so long, I thought that would have gone But stumbling upon you here and now, I’m like “oh fuck here we go” as I begin to feel those same butterflies that fourteen year old me used to put into every sappy email and into every goddamned love song

And I’m brought right back to that bright window nook Where 2004 changed my life and heart forever Seeing you now having grown into exactly the person I always was so sure you would is throwing me off when you brush me off

I reach out my hand My fingertips graze the very tips of some strands of hair but my fist comes back with nothing but air You leave me hanging just like you did when I was fourteen

I know, I know, I know I should be angry In todays climate I should be disgusted by our past I have no desire to call you out That we did anything wrong is such a load of BS But maybe you don’t know I feel that way So when I reach out my hand, should I let it stay

But what I really want is to grasp at something I’m not going to wait for you Not because you broke my heart half of my lifetime ago but because I know who I am now and I ain’t got time for that

So I will reach out my hand and let my fingertips graze your arm, as I grasp at your form I try to pull you back to me But the thing about the internet, is that if you don’t want me or if you don’t care you can choose turn to air in my grasp

I know, I know, I know I should be upset In todays climate I should be worried about why I still try to grasp I have no desire to get back what we once had I can’t believe, I still can’t believe we only had a week So maybe you’ve forgotten about me So when I reach out my hand I’m not sure if I should pull it back right away or wait

You’ve grown into everything I ever imagined you could or would be I guess I just want to know to hear it straight from your mouth Is if I’ve grown up to be someone you’d want someone you’d want

[pretty-little-psych0]

It's Dragon Age day still in the U.S., so HAPPY DRAGON AGE DAY! This series means so much to me, I'm not even sure I truly comprehend it. DA2 and Inquisition, specifically. I was in high school when DA2 came out. I was gifted it for Christmas and I'd seen the trailer for it beforehand and I was super excited to play. Little did I know just how deep this series would worm its way into my heart. I cried when my Hawke lost his mother. Especially because my own family has been though so much, I still cry when thinking about the possibility of my mom just suddenly being gone. I loved Anders and his fight for his fellow mages. As a freshly out-of-the-closet teen, I applied much of this storyline to modern day LGBT stuff. Like, at 16-17 years old, I could see my Community easily ending up in situations like the mages in Dragon Age if certain people became elected. Maybe that's silly of me, idk 🤷‍♂️. Jumping ahead to Inquisition, this game couldn't have been released at a better time in my life. I had just moved to the next state over after living with my grandparents for a year and three months, to the day, my favorite band had dropped their new album the same day as Inquisition's release, and I was FINALLY able to start healing from my parents divorce. Even on the Xbox 360, I was amazed at the graphics and the new customization options. That's my favorite thing of any game I've played. Give. Me. Customization options. Choices, Characters I can identify with, the whole nine. I LOVE stimulating games that provoke emotion and deep thought. Inquisition had all of that. My first character was a female qunari saarabas named Maleficent (#obsessed) and when Cullen have his speech to the allied mages during the attack on Haven... 😍 I was so emotional, I almost cried lol. But, what really got me crying in the club was everyone singing to your Inquisitor in the aftermath. I love most of the soundtrack. And the tavern songs? Bops. All of them. I know it's likely gonna be 2022 (unless a miracle or two occurs) by the time we actually get DA4, but I'll happily wait it out! The pictures I've attached are my favorite characters. First and foremost is Flemeth. I just love her so much. From Origins to Inquisition, she's absolutely been my favorite. I think a lot of her advice also kind of applies to today's political climate. Particularly her advice from DA2, "We stand upon the precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. Watch for that moment. And when it comes, do not hesitate to leap! It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly!"

Then there's Morrigan. I like Morrigan because she's kinda like me. I'm a Witch in my everyday life, and I love learning about magical history and the things most have forgotten or stopped caring about. So to see a character who is kind of the same, she knows so much magical lore and wants to protect the older magicks as best she can, regardless of how feared they might be in her present day; it's something I gravitate towards and I really respect her for that.

Cassandra is just awesome. In DA2 and most of Act 1 of Inquisition, we see her as this, like, brick shit house; doing what it takes to get stuff done while taking no BS from either side. But when you talk to her, she's so unsure of things. But, she still has her faith. I think that's definitely important, no matter who you are, that you have something or someone to believe in and maybe let guide you on your path in life.

Dorian. Good God, I love Dorian. The relationship with Dorian is similar to the one I have with my boyfriend. My boyfriend was so used to the typical hook-up culture that's infiltrated and (in my opinion) contaminated the gay community, specifically, that I had to teach him how to be a boyfriend, not just a lover. So my Inquisitor's relationship with Dorian ALWAYS goes on for the entirety of the game. No FWB, no "just for fun". I'm an "all or none" kind of dude. Also, that mustache? Daaammmnn 😍

I'm all about that #ApostateLife, but I do like Vivienne, especially because even though she comes off as this conservative, frigid bitch, she does show a softer side to her once in a blue moon (i.e. Duke Bastien's death). I also love the way she reads people to filth because it's so eloquent, you almost don't realize she's actually just committed character assassination.

Solas is one of my favorite characters for one main reason, and that's his uniqueness. Even before we find out his true identity, he's still the only mage we've encountered in all three games that has such a deep understanding of the Fade. I hope we learn more about the real elven history in DA4 because the tidbits Solas gives at the end of Trespasser are just not enough. I. Need. DETAILS! As for the Solas romance, even now knowing he's the Dread Wolf, we deserved better than just "oops, this isn't working, peace!". Like, we've all had a break-up like that and it hurts because you don't get any closure from it, no real reason why they left. And again, even knowing he's a "bad guy", OUR LAVELLANS DESERVED BETTER! But, that's also what makes him such a good character, to me. The fact that he elicited that reaction, that emotion, from me.

The Inquisitor. Regardless of whether it's Trevelyan, Lavellan, Cadash, or Adaar, my favorite line of theirs is from Trespasser: "Shit! Damn it! We save Fereldan and they're angry. We save Orlais and they're angry. We close the Breach TWICE and my own hand wants to kill me. Could one thing in this fucking world just stay fixed?!" I love it. Especially in the British female voice. I also absolutely LOVE telling off the Exalted Council. Whether I'm disbanding the Inquisition or not, these mofos almost don't seem to care that I saved their lives AGAIN, (and at the cost of my Anchor arm!) just that I won't ask "how high" when they say "jump".

[getyourblisson]

Paris Climate Accord - Elite Hoax

For those of you that are all up in arms about the Paris Climate Accord or Paris Climate Change Agreement (it doesn’t really matter which name you call it by).  You may not like me much after reading this, you may choose to unfriend me, or you may choose to just stop reading here.  If you don’t want to open into your consciousness and read the full picture; then “frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

That being said; I am all for supporting mother earth and our environment.  However, THIS deal pushed forward on the date that it was, scheduled to start in the year 2020; is nothing but a big HOAX by the ELITE “top” (they are really the bottom of the pits) financial families.  This deal is nothing more than one of those elaborate scams packaged in a way to make you believe it is for the environment.  It lacks consciousness, concern, and humanitarian all over it.

Imagine this, here is a bomb ready to explode on a certain day and time.  It arrives to you as a “gift”, a “peace offering”, “support” for something that you want that has some piece of connection with consciousness - such as having concern for the environment.  This bomb, however, doesn’t look like a bomb; because, well, if it did, you wouldn’t accept it.

So instead it is packaged in a way that looks like a really pretty; gift wrapped in organic paper, with some seeds that you can plant.  With it comes some very specific instructions to leave it in it’s wrapping so that it will better nourish the earth and your environment.  You are told that by doing this, all your troubles will go away; because it has a magick power to heal you and give you a better quality of life.  You are then to keep it safe right in the middle of where you do everything, or keep it with you at all times to get the greatest benefits.

However, what they don’t tell you is that this is actually a bomb with a tracking device that will make your mind and body too weak to do anything.  So here you are holding onto it while it drains you out completely.  Then when the time comes for it to explode, you start hearing the ticking and realize it is a bomb; but you are too weak to move and get out of the way of it’s explosion.

Does this sound a bit exaggerated to you?  Does this sound like something out of a SciFi film?  Well you may want to think again.  I assure you if you really connect with your true consciousness and tune into what your body is saying you will uncover the truth of the horror that is trying to be passed off to you.

All throughout the coding of this is illuminati, draconian, and elite agendas.  Everything in it codes up to their “secret” numerology and code messages.  In this agreement even has code alignments to New York’s 9-11 Twin Tower Attack.  YES, it is connected.  This whole agreement is designed to make you believe you have no consciousness, that you are nothing more than a human being who is helpless and worthless.  It is connected to greater severance from your true nature of consciousness.

In the realm of codes, 2020 is highly significant.  There are 2 aspects to it.  In the realm of true consciousness this is the year that the Angels begin to reclaim consciousness for humanity.  This is the wake up call; the year that begins the “redemption” that is remembering our true nature and self.  The time where forward movement can happen from the stagnation that has been teaching us.

However, this does not fit in with the non-consciousness based plans of the Elite that want to keep their power.  This is the year that they want to move everything into a One World Money - the New World Order; which will compile the resources to only a few (even fewer than there are now); and everyone within this select group wants to be the one holding the power.  In codes the year 2020 is when money is no longer available; a crashing of financial resources.  The illusion of money becomes blown; because we will need to learn to live outside of it.  We are already there; but the Elite are scrambling to put this new system in place in order to maintain control.

This agreement implemented in that year is the catalyst being used - unless of course people stop buying into it; and that will cause them to look to something else.  YOU DON’T NEED AN AGREEMENT TO TELL YOU TO BE RESPONSIBLE - YOUR CONSCIOUS SELF IS ALREADY THERE.  However, if they make you so dependent and weak through material things, electronics, Smart BS this and Smart BS that; you leave yourself vulnerable to their choices.  Every Chemtrail they spray through the sky is to enhance their ability to create your programming to focus on material things instead on your true nature of consciousness.  It is designed to make you tired, depressed, sick; or at least believe that you are these things by disconnecting your from your true state of consciousness.

This agreement is all about teaching you a lesson in the realm of codes and placing you as a victim to the Elite’s choices.  Each country that “buys in” on it, the world leader - NOT THE CITIZENS - is promised “immunity” from certain things.  However, if those countries with the largest resources buy into it; those countries will lose all voice moving forward and we will be looking at much worse fates; because those resources will last only a few short years, and then the Elite will go forward with destroying the environment even more rapidly.  Those that buy in are turning over the lives of their citizens to slavery and abuse more horrific than you can imagine.

Restructured and put through at another time we can get a totally different result.  This agreement in codes at that time opens the door to the revolution pattern that is Apocolyptic.  Their distortions are enormous right now.

Take the Movie “23″ for example - another distortion they are programming people into.  In the movie the number 23 is connected with the “Evil” or “Devil”.  However, the true aspect of this number connects with change into consciousness.  However, by using this movie to program you to believe that it is “Evil” then when that redemption of true consciousness arrives under this coding pattern you will see it as evil and reject it.  Instead you will feed the grid shift of Elite control; and turn over your own true nature to them.

WAKE UP - GET CONSCIOUS.  The media is on “THEIR” side not yours; because that is who is paying their bills.  Keeping your connection to consciousness and looking bigger than the bill of goods you are being sold stops these agendas from being put through.  Remember who you are pure loving consciousness.

[mistralrunner]

Trespasser Liveblog, Part Four: The Keeper and the Betrayer

In which Menel has a disarming experience. Featuring rampant headcanoning.

Obligatory angst re: my party being trapped on the other side of the Eluvian, truly helpless now, and the last time they saw Menel things were looking truly horrible, and this is going to be a long conversation cause Solas likes to hear himself talk and that whole time they’re stuck there helplessssss. Cassandra just finally reunited with Menel after they were separated by their respective duties and now it seems like they had so little time time, and Sera is holding back the urge to shoot arrows at the stupid mirror cause that will only make things worse but she can’t do anything, everyone left to shoot is dead or gone, and Dorian is a mage who was able to work out a way to travel through time once but for all his brilliance can’t figure out how to unlock the Eluvian

And on Menel’s end realizing they didn’t make it through, Menel who had taken comfort in at the very least his friends were at his back, and now they aren’t, and with the chaos of the battle and rushing through the eluvian he hadn’t held on to those last moments, Menel whose pain at being alone is mixed with a bit of this chilling instinct telling him that of course it would be this way

So I recall petrification is in some of the mage spell trees but that seems to be less permanent? It’s hard to tell sometimes with mechanics to story and what qualifies as average magic. Definitely petrification on that scale is insanely op.

Well, Egg, haven't heard your voice in a while, especially because I did two whole DLCs between Inquisition and Trespasser

Goodbye Viddasala and the tragically plot-irrelevant book on your shoulder

“That should give us more time” isn't comforting

Wait I can flat out say he's the Dread Wolf???

YES

SWEET CREATORS YES

I was not looking forward to having to deal with the “legasp you’re Fen’Harel I’m so surprised it wasn’t obvious or anything” dialogue and it’s so in character for Menel to piece things together especially as he was meant to be a Keeper, he knows the lore

Plus it’s amusing that the Viddasala thought she knew everything but Menel pieced together the actual truth

I do wonder if Menel had happened to pass this information along to the party with everything going on cause with his anchor breaking down he could die before that and it’s probably important information

Actually, he almost certainly wrote a letter to those he cared about in case he didn’t make it and at some point I should write it out cause angst

When I watched @inner-muse play I kind of found the ending anti-climatic cause I guess I was in the big final boss mindset and the saarebas didn’t feel like a final boss but then the Viddasala gets turned to stone before you can confront her. Playing it now though, I find it really works, which is to some degree being more invested in and attuned to the story and knowing that in the end the Viddasala was sadly just another pawn in the chess game, but I also think the choice of character helps. Menel is a thinker and diplomat and teacher, only fighting because he’s forced into it, and this entire DLC was trying to resolve things peacefully and just getting violence thrown at him instead of debate or answers, so ending this with a conversation actually is a relief and an achievement. Plus for Menel this is the equivalent of a final boss battle. It’s of wits and wills and old Dalish tales, of knowing that you’re facing the Dread Wolf himself and he will play with truth and lies like the trickster god he is.

Yeah, title that all replaces your name Solas does have a point there and yet not. They might have similar trappings, male elven rift mages who like learning and studying ancient things, who are known more for their titles than their true names, but their choices are what matter. Menel listens to others and is willing to accept change, to take the scars and heal even when it’s hard, and seeks to use the past to move forward, and Solas is stagnant despite all that he experiences. I love literary foils.

Well at least he admits the Dalish legends have some truth to them

Menel is sympathetic to some degree, but still on guard, and still trying to wrap his mind around caring for Solas as a friend and being aware that this is the Dread Wolf, and while Dalish legends may not have all the details, they generally have a core of truth, and the Dread Wolf has already deceived him before.

Okay saving the elven people is good, we’re currently being subjugated and divided in numerous ways and there’s a great deal of work to be done to move forward—wait what is that about the world dying?!?!?!?!?

Our people OUR none of this yours versus mine bs, Solas, the elves live even if they’ve grown and changed you’ve learned nothing

“I never thought of you as someone who would do that, Solas”

Be a jerk, maybe, but genocide, seriously?

Menel uses guilt trip. Like Josephine, he kills with kindness. Unfortunately it is not truly successful because Solas is all tied up in his I feel guilt but your deaths are a sacrifice that I must make to assuage my guilt about the other apocalypse I caused. Ugh.

“I had plans.” re: the fact that the Evanuris/Creators will be released by tearing down the Veil

Yeah they've gone so well so far that’s so comforting

I’m sad I can't ask about the Forgotten Ones. Cause Dalish legend says those were also sealed away with the Creators so they should also be a concern if Solas tears down the Veil. I still think the Forgotten Ones are the Old Gods, but I guess the Forbidden Ones like Xebenkeck could also be a possibility.

"I am not a monster"  Not taking pleasure in destruction doesn’t mean you’re not a monster, just a different flavor of monstrous you Egg.

You know, I don’t entirely buy the running out of time thing. I think he gave just enough time to answer the questions he wanted to answer, and stopped before Menel could strike any further under the pretense of “there’s nothing I can do”.

I’m not sure Menel could have survived with the Anchor but I’m not ruling it out. I can’t take Solas at his word cause of course it fits his agenda to claim that Menel couldn’t have handled it and Solas was almost certainly purposely aggravating it. Plus even if Solas believes that a mortal couldn’t have handled it and all he was doing was speeding up the process of the Anchor breakdown, he tends to underestimate mere mortals a lot.

Also the contrast between their outfits is so good and I need to write a separate post on just that

...I can’t believe Menel is being conflicted about the saving versus defeating thing, really Menel

Then again it is so like Menel to wish that he could solve this problem by changing a god’s mind rather than a war against a god cause he knows the latter is insanely dangerous and will likely result in mass casualties, but he’s angry at being manipulated and frustrated at himself for being duped and knows that the fact that Solas hasn’t been persuaded despite learning the people of modern Thedas are people doesn’t bode well

Menel tries so hard to be good and kind and Solas was a friend and he’s still dealing with accepting that “Solas” never was. Just another humble guise of the Dread Wolf. Cause in the end regardless of whether Solas’s opinions of people in this world were changed, regardless of the experiences and the teamwork and solidarity in the Inquisition, what matters is that he seeks to destroy this world.

You know Solas, you claim to be wise, yet there are three things all wise men fear: a sea in a storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man, and Menel is pissed.

Still, it feels like a defeat. All of it really. The Qunari are repelled, but the world is imperiled again, and by a force far more tricksy than Corypheus, and Menel ends up choosing war over a likely futile attempt to reason with an unchanging god.

The very end of the conversation I headcanon went differently. I love this meta on how Solas probably took the anchor which is BAD, and I feel like Menel as a rift mage would have suspected and picked up on it, and tried to either retain the Anchor or perhaps turn the momentum of Solas tearing it away into destroying the Anchor or having it slip out of the Dread Wolf’s grasp. Better to die than let Solas carry out this insane plan. It was futile, Solas’s plan to weaken Menel was extremely effective and the power difference between them is so insane, but that didn’t stop him from trying. It did mean that the removal was far more agonizing and was far closer to killing him. Menel was definitely on the ground screaming as Solas dismissively walks away. The Dread Wolf disdainful about and pitying these pathetic mortals who can’t be grateful for the time he’s given them, perhaps shaking away the slightly unnerving knowledge that Menel fought back harder than he expected.

Still debating whether Solas allowed the others to run through the eluvian cause he feels bad and Menel’s death could lead to chaos and pain even if he is going to destroy the world anyway and then they found him there cause angst, or whether Menel dragged himself back through the eluvian. Maybe both. Also I like to think Menel’s arm wasn’t fully disintegrated and Cassandra was the one to chop it off and then Dorian cauterized it or something and Sera was again in pain because she can’t put arrows in it to fix things and Solas ran off so she can’t put arrows in him.

Although the logistics of the chopping would be a bit weird as his arm is encased in armor and you would probably not want to be touching the arm to get the armor off to chop it off? Unless the mark was burning to the point where it was melting the magically reinforced armor which is a terrifying thought.

And somehow Menel mustered the strength to march into the Council.

Yeah, Solas is a threat but it’s official I’m disbanding the Inquisition

Okay not sure what speech to give on the disband side

That speech worked well “We will not become what we once fought against” indeed

Everyone's legasp

I was kind of expecting a mic drop with the book cause dramatic but given Menel would likely never do that to a book handing it off to Josephine works too

Sorry to leave you there after such a short speech but I’m pretty sure Menel collapses not long after

And the party together one last time

Now for epilogue slides! I love the art style here

Oh good no mass unemployment issues post-disbanding I was honestly worried about that

Cassandraaaa

Staying on the Exalted Council and working with Leliana, and the braid

And the fact that she and Menel don’t give up their respective goals, but still frequently meet up excellent

Plus the image of them suddenly appearing at each other’s side is beautiful

That smile too

Also hurrah for Josie bringing back her family’s trade

So we don't know what happened at Weisshaupt except it's apparently settled cause Hawke is back in Kirkwall and Thom Rainier is walking in and out no problem?

I wasn’t expecting any news on Mahariel but I’m still disappointed. At least I know she’s probably alive since the Warden is mentioned if they romance a Leliana made Divine

Sad they don’t mention any efforts to cure and help tranquil

Aaand nothing about Dalish. Admittedly in this game there’s no opportunity to do anything for the Dalish cause it’s so human centric with ancient elven aesthetics and antagonists. I just really really am terrified because of the vallaslin on the elf in the epilogue slide that the writers are going to retcon things and have the Dalish side with the Dread Wolf despite him literally being the villain in their story and him constantly dismissing and hating on the Dalish

And nothing about the Well. Given all that happened you’d think that the Well would have come up for more than one dialogue option and I admit I really wanted at least a hint of what the consequences of the ending of Inquisition were on Menel’s geas.

Ah, final scene

It’s really nice to see Leliana in her spymaster outfit again.

Honestly this is a dream team: Cassandra, Leliana, Scout Harding. And likely Josephine and Sera are helping too despite officially being involved in other things.

The Inquisition arguably saved Thedas and changed Menel and ended up despite its Chantry origins bringing people from a variety of backgrounds together, and accomplished some impressive things like giving the mages at least some degree of independence, but it was in a way a quasi-antagonist, very close to becoming a different sort of evil and Menel was very aware of that throughout. And now he is finally free: he’s passed through the fire that changed him and many others, and it is done. He still has a lot of healing and soul-searching to do, especially given the really really stupid awful revelations on elven history in Trespasser that I wish I could just deem not-canon, and also has the sword of Damocles that is his geas to Flemythal, but he's finally moved forward to another chapter of his life. 

And I still can’t believe its actually over.

[buckyscurvylover]

If someone shares their opinions online, they give others the right to make comments on that. I love anna but that bisexual thing was BS imo. Not even all women feel sexual attraction. Also, one can't generalize a huge group of people even when people don't know themselves fully. I thought I was straight till I actually fell for a girl, I never had fantasies about women or thought of ever loving one before; even when a person can "explore" new attractions how can you use science to prove smt?

Indeed - if people post an opinion, then others have the right to comment on it. As long as it remains civil, at least. Once people start getting into Ad Homs and personal attacks and so on - that’s when it becomes inappropriate, however tempting it is sometimes! As you rightly point out, sexuality is a very broad and complicated topic. Some people are never entirely sure in themselves of their sexuality. And using a single study not even looking as bisexuality to try to justify a simplistic belief is not the way to do it. I do agree that bisexuality is a bit of the “unwanted stepchild” in some respects, and that far more needs to be done to have it accepted - the way that Amber Heard was treated after the domestic abuse allegations became public is case in point, people were (explicity and implicitly) using her sexuality as a way to justify what happened somehow - but that’s not the right way to do it. When it comes to science, certain things are measurable - you can measure arousal, for example, based on changes in body responses. They have equipment that measures vaginal lubrication or penile response. They can measure pulse rate etc - but that can be a sign of many responses, not just arousal. You can draw certain conclusions based on self reporting, too, comparing it to other things, including reactions to pornography. But you have to be VERY careful about how you use that information and whether the conclusions you are making are valid and supported by the data. A lot of people misunderstand “science”. It’s not strictly about proving or disproving things with 100% accuracy. It’s about saying “Here is the best evidence we have on this topic so far, and it suggests that X is true, and this is how sure we are based on the data, but should later studies demonstrate that our results are wrong, can’t be replicated by other people, or simply expand on the topic to make our results irrelevant, then we will change our stance to adjust for that new information.” For a lot of people, that can be hard - they think that is a flaw, when in reality, following the facts, the evidence, seems to me to be the far more logical way to view things, as does altering your opinion when the weight of evidence suggests it’s necessary - as opposed to blindly believing something and then forcing the evidence to fit your scenario, or cherry picking data or studies to support them. This happens a lot in certain hot topics - climate change, antivax sites, creationism, etc - but it’s one that everyone needs to watch for. It can be very easy to find yourself in an echo chamber where you only ever look at one side of a scenario, and that means you can end up with skewed beliefs. 

[oselatra]

Capi Peck’s “eternal optimism” for the future of Little Rock

City Director Capi Peck, who represents West Little Rock’s Ward 4, wants to consider a change in the way the board is elected, as does Mayor Frank Scott. But unlike Scott, who wants to eliminate the election of at-large directors to the board, Peck would like to seek a blended ward structure and term limits for directors. City Director Capi Peck, who represents West Little Rock’s Ward 4, wants to consider a change in the way the board is elected, as does Mayor Frank Scott. But unlike Scott, who wants to eliminate the election of at-large directors to the board, Peck would like to seek a blended ward structure and term limits for directors. Under Peck’s plan, each of Little Rock’s seven wards would elect a director. But Peck says at-large positions “serve a purpose,” and she would propose that wards would combine — perhaps two or three together — to create “super wards” to be represented by an at-large director. Having at-large directors is “what that prevents is turf wars,” Peck said. “I’m not [this] way, but some of the city directors, they’re really not interested in projects unless it directly benefits their ward. “One of the most important things that’s going to happen in the next few months is creating a way for us to have a community-wide, very thoughtful conversation and study about the at-large directors,” Peck said. Peck, 65, is one of the board’s younger directors. She said the aging board, and the ensuing decades-long tenure of some of its directors, is evidence of the need for directors’ term limits. “I hate that we look the way we do,” she said. “I get how that would piss people off. Get them out. I get that. … I think we have a lot of challenges. I think we all do share something, all of us. We want Little Rock to be a better place for everybody, I just think that there’s a tactful way to go about doing that, and so I hope we proceed with a lot of consideration and patience and respect for each other, even if we don’t agree.” Peck said she supports a time frame of 60 or 90 days for a study with citizen input on the at-large positions, followed by a special election to determine a course of action. “I think that the people selected [for the study] must represent our city,” she said. “I think if we’re 42 percent African American [as a city], I think we need to have 42 percent African-American representation. We need to have some young people and we need to have some older people. I’d love to have a Hispanic person [and] there needs to be equal gender representation. It needs to be a true reflection of our city.” Peck added that she believes Scott is “determined” to deliver on his campaign promise of a more transparent City Hall by the time he gives his state of the city speech, which he must complete by March 31. She said one of these campaign promises manifests in the creation of Scott’s transition board and the citizen-led subcommittees each board member chairs. The subcommittees — on finance and administration, education, mobility, economic development, public safety, inclusion, quality of life and transformation and government reform — will meet with each corresponding city department, board or commission and make recommendations for Scott’s four-year plan for change. “I think that the mayor has given himself a very daunting task to get all of these pieces in place by the state of the city address,” she said. “There’s so many moving pieces, and his vision is grandiose. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it, but I mean, [there’s a] learning curve.” Peck said she supports Scott’s embrace of the strong-mayor role, and with his recent move to take on direct supervision of six city departments (police, fire, finance, human resources, planning and public works), she said Scott’s hiring of the new police chief will be a crucial decision. “I just hope we don’t get all distracted and bring somebody in that’s maybe had a great history someplace [else],” she said. “I just think it’s so important to find somebody invested in Little Rock, that already gets it. … I just hope we hire a homegrown person, I really do.” Peck said Little Rock Police Department Assistant Chiefs Alice Fulk and Hayward Finks, who have applied for the chief’s job, are qualified for the position. She added that among the responsibilities of the new chief, an external investigation of the LRPD’s no-knock search warrants should be a top priority. “I think it’s very disturbing,” she said. “I think it’s super disturbing. I think that is something we need to move forward on immediately. … I think an internal investigation is BS. I’m sorry, that’s ridiculous. That is ridiculous. It’s very disturbing. I mean, it’s a paramilitary organization.”

***

Like Ward 3 City Director Kathy Webb, whom Peck refers to as her “partner in crime,” Peck is a graduate of Hall High School and avidly supports the restoration of local control to the Little Rock School District, and like Webb, she said she’s frustrated by the city board’s lack of say so on the issue. “We can continue to talk about that, but ultimately, we can’t do a damn thing,” she said. “Public schools are the backbone of our community, and I think that it’s taxation without representation. … I’m not saying that [dissolving the school board] might not have been necessary [at that time], but by God, that was years ago. That was 2015. It’s 2019. It’s time. The charter schools don’t have to be accountable. Look at some of their scores.” Peck said another important issue the city faces is its tight budget, which she hopes will be helped by state legislation that would require Internet merchants to collect sales tax on sales in Arkansas. Peck has owned and run Trio’s Restaurant since 1986, and said her 32 years of experience in the hospitality industry — including her 12 years on the Advertising and Promotion Commission, which governs the Little Rock Convention and Visitors Bureau — have given her a unique understanding of the importance of tourism to Little Rock’s revenue stream. “The tourism impact on the city had always interested me immensely because of quality of life issues [and] because of the fact that when people come into the city, whether it’s for leisure or for business, we have these temporary taxpayers,” she said. “In our trade, we call it getting heads in beds and butts in seats. You’ve got these folks that are here and we have this revenue stream, and through that revenue stream, after we take care of things like managing the River Market and the Statehouse Convention Center; we think [about] investing in attracting more tourists, because we love the temporary taxpayers.” Peck is the fourth person in her family to be in the hospitality business in Arkansas. Her grandparents, Sam and Henryetta Peck, owned downtown’s Hotel Sam Peck — now called the Hotel Frederica — and that history has shaped her outlook on Little Rock. “[Being] that sort of ambassador, making people feel welcome, inviting people into my restaurant like it’s my home: I have that sort of philosophy about not just visitors to Little Rock, but people who live here, too,” she said. According to Peck, Webb talked her into running for Ward 4 city director when former director Brad Cazort didn’t seek re-election for the position. “My first thought was, ‘I’m not qualified,’ ” she said. “I don’t have a degree in political science, and [Webb] said, ‘Are you kidding me? You’re a successful business owner, [and if] you can run a restaurant, then you can do this, because you’re used to listening to your customers, or your constituents, and being diplomatic and getting answers and putting out fires.’ ” After her election, Peck volunteered to work on the Parks and Recreation, Racial and Cultural Diversity, Zoo and Central Arkansas Library System commissions. In addition to her work with these commissions, she said one of her goals is to develop a senior center for the city. When Carelink Fitness and Wellness Center, a senior care facility and fitness center, closed the doors to its Little Rock location in July because of funding issues, the city was left without a dedicated community center for seniors. Peck said she was part of the push to make the Mayor’s Task Force on Aging a formal city commission. The task force will now work to make Little Rock a more “livable city” under the AARP’s Network of Age-Friendly Communities guidelines. Along with her responsibilities as city director and her duties at Trio’s, Peck is involved with the Hunger Relief Alliance and the Arkansas Homeless Coalition. She’s a member of Congregation B’nai Israel, and she recently helped organize Little Rock Cares, a two-day citywide drive to provide food and care packages for furloughed federal employees. Though she is a self-described “dyed-in-the-wool, blueblood, yellow-dog Democrat,” Peck said she wants to use her nonpartisan position on the city board to help unite an increasingly politically divided culture. “I’m a child of the ’60s, so I’m used to protest, I’m used to speaking out,” she said. ‘I’m a longtime feminist, so that’s not new to me. But this climate that we live in now, will it always be this way? Is this going to be permanent even when [President] Trump is gone? How are we going to heal? How are we going to treat each other with respect and have the patience to have a common goal, which is to better the world and better ourselves and help our fellow man? To take care of people that need to be taken care of?” Peck also calls herself an “eternal optimist,” a perspective she said she’ll need going forward. “I’m a dreamer. I continue to be optimistic,” she said. “Otherwise, I would just be so depressed.” Capi Peck’s “eternal optimism” for the future of Little Rock

[annecraigsblog-blog]

NOV 24 2018 SAT WEBINAR BY MY GURU PARAMASHIVA PARAMAHAMSA SRI NITHYANANDA SWAMIJI

Subject for todays webinar - Cosmis Union through Tantra - Glimpses of Paramashivoham – PART 1…

Listen i will directly reveal some of the most important sacred secrets revealed by Paramashiva in the Vedas and Agmas without mincing words.

Your identity feeling you associated with gender is the first space needs healing. Your idea you are male , female is mediocre , mentally retarded , unconscious identity. Be very clear it is mediocre idea. You are male or female is mediocre , mentally retarded. People who can’t be creative and seeking tolerate the idea posted by others are called mediocre. When you don’t have enough energy , guts to be a seeker and recognize yourself on your own independent intelligence you tolerate the label put by others male or female. That is first abusal done to you.

That is the first danger to you. Without encouraging you to explore , seek , identify your gender , somebody pushing the idea you are male , female and forcibly making you to align to that idea is the worst and first sexual abuse you go through. If you are a seeker and decided to revolt the ideas put on you about your sexual identity and start seeking and exploring on your own ,your sexual identity you are part of the cosmically elite class. It is only the cosmically elite, rich have the powerfulness to say no to others label on them and explore , start seeking their identity. You might have married and have kids you can see when you started allowing the label. It is not too late. Too much of social pressure on you , your seeking gets destroyed by forced labels just like too much of cow dung dumped on Diamond. First thing you need to understand not to go with the label put on you and be mediocre. Claim your freedom , your independence. Decide to explore your identity , the sexual dimension of your identity. During the time you explore you need to be celibate. You need to stop all the external sexual activities only then you can dig deep.

This will be the greatest achievement you can have. Recognizing your sexual identity with integrity will make you realize. I’m not telling you are male or female. Come to the right conclusion for the right reason. Understand in the whole population of human beings only 7 percent are completely male and 7 percent are completely female. Other than this 14 percent the whole thing belongs to different genders. There are 11 genders. You may be part of this 14 percent. Do little research , drill come to the conclusions after the right understanding, cognitions ,reasons. Right cognitions with the right reasons manifests as powers in you.

First step is exploring your sexual identity. When you first started feeling about your sexuality. Your body , mind , your reactions to different people. It will not be to opposite gender it will be to every body including animals, sometimes even trees. My body responded even to Arunachala hill. I could feel when I’m in the breathing space of Arunachala and how my body will feel when I’m outside Arunachala hill. The way my body responds to Arunachala.

It is like too intimate. My body will respond to the Arunachala hill. Look inside go back and start seeing how you started identifying yourself by the wrong ideas by others.

First sexual abuse is always ideological , not physical. You are made to believe you are male and female and forced to believe by others belief. Please do not sexually abuse them by forcing them to believe they are male and female. Give them freedom , let them recognize on their own. When their body responds and the responses they go through to different people. Let them evolve , let them come up , just protect them that they are not sexually used by others till 21. If you can do this. This is the biggest great help you will do to your son or daughter. 21 may look long period. Life flowering in the body without getting abused with the gender identity will liberate once for all. If the first chain cannot be tied no other chain can be tied. The child lives like Jeevan Muktha. You can reclaim the child.

Gender identity is the string if you cut that all patterns will be destroyed. You will be free from all patterns.

Realizing your real sexual identities and liberating yourself by wrong sexual identities labeled by others. All those cognitions right , wrong , good , bad , fear , greed starts from the sexual identity you started. I have experienced absolute union with Arunachala. I have experienced Arunachala in the form of the beautiful hill and in the form of Arunagiriyogeeshwara my Guru and in the form of Moola linga. I had the opportunity to hug him. In those days we had a access. Understand before the Kumbhabhishekam when they do the pranaprathishta the public will be allowed inside the Garbha Graha and touch the main deity.

I tell you i have experienced in all this three forms. I have experienced the true liberation from that i tell you. That liberation makes all my cognitions what is love , good , bad , fear ,greed. All the cognitions evolves from that cognition that’s why all the cognitions only liberates.

I do not experience anger or violence in my cogniton even when they try to attack me. If you try to attack me i will move away from you so that I can be available to other people. That’s it. If you are happy with me I will be happy with you.

Because all these strategies evolved from the liberated cognitions. I do not pile up stress in the system. The system is living in the state ,space , powers and being of Paramashiva. First step is digging out your real sexual identity. When that happens multiple revelations you will have. All the BS dumped on you by others will be washed away.

Recently i was going through the revelations there are about 600 tantric literatures. One directly by Paramashiva and by his incarnations. Paramashiva takes incarnation. Dhoorvasa muni , Muneeshwara is considered to be one incarnation. Don’t think only Vishnu incarnates. Paramashiva incarnates. There are 100 incarnations of Paramashiva.

Directly whatever he revealed through the Vedas and Agamas that is called as Shastra Pranama. Whatever his incarnations revealed it is called Aptha Pramana. I found Tantra is going to be the greatest solution for all the big problems humanity is facing including climate change. Weather is temporary , climate is much bigger than weather. Biggest problem we are going to face now is climate change.

Complete being is so much in love with the nature. He will never be a part of the gang abusing the nature. First step for cosmic union is digging out your gender identity. I will help you to do on your own and i can also make it for you. If you are a kind of a person who enjoys your own effort i will let you do on your own. If you feel Oh!! I’m tired then i will do it for you. Or little you do and i will do little both of us can do. All three I’m okey.

I want you to identify your original sexual identity. You don’t want others opinion about you , to make the permanent decision or solution. If you understand that much i can help you further. I want you to understand that.

Few minutes i want to lead you to the genderless pure space before the age of 7. Fortunately i can make you do time travel. Paramashiva has empowered me. Let me push you to that original space. You had that space genderless space before society labeled you as male , female.

Close your eyes and sit straight i will guide you. Below the age of 7 your internal organs, intra organs , consciousness you were having that very space. Close your eyes and humm the Maha Vaakaya intensely. Om Nithyananda Paramashivoham….

Go back to the pure space of Prathyagathma chaithanya reflecting Paramashiva Ardhanareeshwara , Shiva Shakti swaroopa , pure tantric space of cosmic union , Ardhanaareeshwara.

OM NITHYANANDA PARAMASHIVOHAM…..