#i love talking about this kind of stuff;;;

[tundrakatiebean]

I found out the tag limit is 30 on this post lmao anyway I had a very good year. I wish all of you so much good and light.

hey honest question, did anybody have GOOD stuff happen to them in 2024? cause it was really bad for me and for most people i know, so it would be nice to hear about anything that's been going WELL for any of you. even if it's small stuff. just to know there's light out there.

[melminli]

I LOVEDDDDDDD your Thanos “bang bang bang” post and it made me very curious abt how they know eo and stuff and like I’d love to read more about it in general if you don’t mind. It’s so great and I love your writing <333 have a fun day / night 🫶🏻

BANG BANG BANG ll

summary - thanos was always just such an easy person to argue with. you really hated the guy and that was something that was never going to change, even if your life was on the line and it fucking was.

pairing: (thanos) choi su-bong x fem. reader

word count: 1.8k

contains: violence, angst, death, drug use and addiction, dark content - just usual squid game stuff really

a/n: ty so much! this turned out kinda freaky but that is because thanos is a freak so, i didn't really have a choice.

prev. | masterlist

There was an eerie silence among all the participants for the first few seconds after the first death happened. The realization of what this meant for everyone present slowly sank in, and you thought that maybe the crazy man with all his screaming, wasn't quite as crazy as you originally thought. The real madman was probably the person somewhere upstairs or - you didn't know exactly where, but you knew that they were watching you.

“Don't move!” His voice shouted again, but this time with a completely different force. It may be that this was the most logical conclusion one could draw from what had just happened, but some seemed to throw all logic out of the window as soon as the fear of death hit. It only took one person to panic to set off a domino effect and from one second to the next loud gunshots could be heard, following the fearful screams of one person after another. The participants were being slaughtered like frightened animals in a cage, what kind of sick game was really going on here?

You too began to tremble as you looked down at the floor, dissociating and trying to ignore your surroundings as best you could. You had to stop yourself from flinching when the person right next to you was killed, even as you felt his still warm blood covering your cheek, even as a small river of it started pooling around your foot. You were most likely going to leave a trace of him all over the ground as soon as you started walking again - whoever he was. It didn't take very long for everyone who had moved to be shot, maybe half a minute - and yet it must have been the worst half minute of your life so far.

“Don't you dare move,” Thanos said in a voice you weren't used to hearing from him. “I'm serious, don't make me mad.”

You just looked at his back from behind, with a tense posture while you tried to regain control of your breathing again. Finally, there was complete silence on the pitch again. Even if it wasn't an entirely welcome silence.

The voice from the loudspeakers began to speak again and you already knew that this would be a voice that would haunt you in your nightmares. “Let me repeat: You can move forward while the tagger shouts, Green light, red light. If your movement is detected afterward, you will be eliminated.”

Ah, so that's what you meant with eliminated. A bit literal but no biggie! The game continued, but no one really dared to move a muscle even when the puppet looked away. You then saw Thanos shift slightly out of the corner of your eye and noticed that he was pulling his cross necklace out of his t-shirt. Safe to say, that you could barely believe what you were seeing right before your very eyes. You've got to be kidding me, they took everything we had from us, but he was allowed to keep that old thing? “Are you seriously going to take that stuff now?” you whispered in disbelief but didn't really judge him for it. You were this close to just laughing out loud at the absurdity of the scene, but you didn't.

“You don't have to be jealous, sweetheart,” he replied with slightly shaky hands as he stopped his movement abruptly when the doll finished talking. He just stared longingly at the colorful pills in front of him. “I don't mind sharing with you, you know that.”

You sighed inwardly at the thing you were about to do. You had been clean for maybe about six years by now and quitting drugs of any kind overnight was really fucking hard - definitely one of the hardest things you had to do in your life. On the other hand, your life was still as shitty as before, the only difference being that you were now consciously depressed and unhappy, so who cares? You could die every second anyway. “Thanks.” you just said after taking the pill out of his hand and threw the thing as quickly as possible in your mouth as soon as the doll looked away. Yeah, you were the biggest hypocrite on earth, old news.

It only took maybe a few seconds after that for you to feel the effects of the pill and then finally, all the stress started to dissipate. Your muscles relaxed, all the shouting about whatever felt like a soft pillow hugging you and the weird laying positions of the dead around you suddenly seemed incredibly funny. These were really strong pills, you could practically feel your whole body tingling. “Why are they all suddenly forming a line?” you asked with a grin and Thanos just hummed, not knowing the answer himself. “No idea, but watch this,” he said and waited until the puppet had turned towards you to push the person next to him, causing everyone in front of them to fall over too. “Ding! You lost,” he told them while wiggling his eyebrows and smirking after he watched them get shot.

You didn't even try to stifle your laughter at the scene. “You really are such an asshole.” you replied, shoving him aside this time after the doll averted its gaze. You then ran away as fast and as far away as you could so that he couldn't take revenge on you for what you had just done. However, you quickly stopped moving with both hands in the air as soon as the girlish voice emitted red light as if you were surrendering to her. You stifled your grin and pretty much failed when you noticed a slightly older woman standing relatively close to you. “Hey, are you trying to hide behind me to use me as a shield?” you spoke out without moving your mouth much and watched as she began to sweat more after you realized what she was doing. Still, she didn't pay you any further attention. “And now you're ignoring me too?” you spat out annoyed and grabbed her by the arm when you were free to move and pulled her in front of you against her will.

She tried to fight you off but you forced her further forward while she tried to defend herself. “You're older than me, aren't you ashamed of yourself?” You asked her and stopped walking before the robot's face turned towards you.

Number 57, who was still resisting your grip, stumbled a little to the side when you suddenly let go of her. She was about to howl in delight when she noticed how everyone else stood still. “No…” she mumbled out fearfully. “It's because of that bitch! I didn't -” she tried to defend herself to someone as she looked around the room, but her head caught the bullet before she could even finish her sentence.

“I may be a bitch, but at least I'm still alive.” you sang to her dead body on the floor before running past her. You didn't know how much time was left, but you had almost made it to the finish line anyway. You stopped with your back to the robot girl this time and it didn't take you long to spot the purple hair in the crowd. “Su-bong!” you shouted his name, since you had somehow gotten separated while running. You waited until he yelled back with a what?! “Last one there, gets fucked in the ass!” you yelled out without any shame or filter and saw his facial expression turn serious at the challenge. “Let's Go!”

The whole game went by relatively quickly once you took the pill from Thanos. It was actually quite fun, you thought to yourself as you both jumped around like two crazy people with grinning faces, waving your arms around wildly. I know it's not socially acceptable to say this, but I fucking love doing drugs! It was like everything around you was happening in slow motion and all the decisions you made felt foggy, like you didn't even realize what you were doing.

You loved being this person, it felt great to forget everything and just - not think. “I have won! No, really! You crossed the line two steps after me, I saw it!” you exclaimed before Thanos could object to a single thing. “Didn't anyone else see that?” you exclaimed in disbelief as if the others weren't busy staying alive while watching several others die right before their faces. You didn't care about the looks they gave you as you waved your hand. “No, they definitely saw it. I won.”

Thanos just gave in with a heavy sigh and a roll of his eyes. “Yeah yeah, I'm getting fucked in the ass which is gay, very funny.” he just mumbled to himself annoyed, and continued to avoid your gaze, but couldn't help grin again when you slapped him on the shoulder laughing. “Hey, why did we stop doing all this again?” he asked you when he couldn't remember the reason. All he knew was that he hadn't had this much fun in a long time, even though he knew that he always had a great time with you - no matter what.

You laughed. “Oh, that's because you promised me that we'd both get clean together, and then you spent the money I gave you for rehab on more drugs behind my back. “ you laughed along with him, even if Thanos frowned a little at the memory and you started to smile forcedly after remembering again how he had betrayed you. “Or what was it again? Was it something about that Youtuber you told me about…” you mumbled to yourself obliviously, feeling any sense of happiness begin to fade. You finally gave up, the details weren't that important anyway. “It doesn't really matter though, right? In any case, you used the money for something else, whatever it was. Even though you knew how hard I worked for it - hell, I didn't even eat most days to scrape it together, man.” you stated while you looked him in the face, even though he averted his gaze from you. “That's just fucked up dude.”

Exactly. You actually hated being this person. You might not remember it right now, but you would as soon as the effects of the pill wore off, which hopefully wasn't soon. You really hoped it wasn't soon, because you didn't want to be aware of anything that had happened today.

[plaidcowboy]

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ ⊹ send poods

content: rafe knowing you would love the dog he happens to see while meeting with barry

author stamp: thinking of the sticker that came with my depop order that said send poods

rafe skimmed his index finger back and forth on his hairline, in thought about what was going on in his family. he thought a little time talking about it with barry would help. they sat side by side in front of his trailer in lawn chairs, barry rambling off about ‘the tough stuff’ rafe was currently going through. “yeah man, you got to show them who’s boss. i ain’t saying go around hurting anyone, but..”

rafe sighed, exhaling from his nose. “alright, yeah thanks, that’s something i haven’t even thought of doing” he responded sarcastically. he meant it though. becoming violent was the last resort rafe wanted to turn to in order to deal with his issue. he felt he’s done enough harm.

“well don’t get mad at the messenger” barry said amusingly, raising his arms at the elbows where they rested on the sides of the lawn chair. “you came to me talking about some nonsense, i was just minded my business, counting..”

rafe heard a rustling from the bushes beside him. glancing over, he pushed from his lounging position in the chair, watching the bush while barry continued going off about rafe ‘interrupting’ his business mode concentration. the bush rustled once again. “yo, shut up” he quieted barry.

rafe reached for the gun he had tucked in the back of his jeans, slightly raising his flannel. “what are you pulling that out for?” barry and his voice raised, seemingly unaware of the possible threat hiding in the bushes just mere feet away from them.

the possible threat then leaped from the bushes, halting rafe mid draw of his gun. he sighed again. it was just a dog. “man, you out here pulling a gun on animals” barry teased. rafe turned his head to him, face set in a don’t expression. turning back to the dog, he let himself see that the dog was actually kind of cute. no matter how frustrated or demanding he may get with people, he was okay with animals. and this one looked like something you would just gush over. he remembered then that dog that you pointed out while you two were together the other day, saying how you would do the most insane things for it. the dog didn’t even ask for that, rafe thought. but he let you ramble on about how adorable you found the animal.

pulling his phone from his pocket, he proceeded to open his camera app, not minding at all doing something that he knew would put a smile on your face. aiming the camera at the surprisingly still golden dog in front of him, he snapped a picture the moment the dog hung his tongue out in a smile. so stinking cute. he sent you the photo, not bothering to add text, knowing you would be too distracted by the picture and not even care about what rafe said.

“did you just send a picture..”

rafe paid no mind to barry who had quietly watched the entire sequence in shock, not at all ashamed about what he would do for you. his phone buzzed not even a minute later with a response from you. some words that weren’t even real. words that looked to spell the sound of you squealing. words that were just button mashing. he chuckled down at his phone. you were even cuter than the dog.

his smiled dropped at your next text asking if you guys could keep it. no.

[hoshifighting]

idk if someone asked you this but i’m a new reader and I REALLY REALLY LOVE YOUR WORKS!!!

can you please make wonwoo, the nerdy president who u thought was innocent and sweet but he’s the one behind ur fave nsfw audio creator???? AND HE’S A HARDFUCKER.. not what u expected tho..

i don’t know if i make sense but please pretty please 😭☝️

Synopsis: where you discover that the nerdy class president is the one man who creates the most nasty NSFW audios that you spend long nights listening to. WC: 2.8k WARNINGS: smut, audio porn, masturbation, hard fuck, dirty talk (obviously), bad sleeping habits (because of wonwoo), fingering, spanking, dirty talk, pussy eating, penetrative sex, protected sex, wonwoo whining, a lil invasion of privacy.

you’ve been running on fumes all day, the hazy buzz of sleep deprivation clinging to your brain like static. it’s no surprise, really. your night had gone the way it always does: you got home, flopped into your chair, threw on your headphones, and let onyx_lens—your favorite nsfw asmr creator—drag you under with that stupidly deep voice of his.

it was kind of pathetic, actually. you barely remember what the script was about—something about obedience or whatever—but you do remember the sound of his voice sinking into your brain like warm honey, making you cum so hard that you blacked the fuck out right after. now here you were, bleary-eyed and trying to stay upright in literature class, the regret of last night’s poor choices catching up with you.

wonwoo, the class president who was somehow both effortlessly chill and annoyingly observant, had been glancing at you every few minutes. you could feel his eyes on you as your head dipped forward for the third time, only to snap back up like a busted bobblehead.

but, in true wonwoo fashion, he didn’t say anything. no scolding, no judgmental sighs—just quiet observation.

when class finally ended, you were ready to yeet yourself into a nap for a solid 72 hours. you were shoving your stuff into your bag when wonwoo’s voice cut through the noise.

“you good?”

you froze. his voice wasn’t the same as onyx_lens’s, obviously, but it had that same deep, smooth timbre that made your brain short-circuit for a second. it didn’t help that his question sounded so much like something out of an nsfw script. you turned to face him, hoping your face wasn’t giving away how flustered you suddenly were. “uh—yeah,” you said, shaking your head a little too quickly. “just tired.”

wonwoo raised an eyebrow. “not sleeping well?”

your brain screamed. your tired, half-horny brain screamed louder. the overlap of his voice and onyx_lens in your head was un-fucking-bearable. you managed to nod, muttering something about late nights and deadlines, hoping he wouldn’t pry.

he didn’t, but his next question wasn’t much better.

“think you could help me with the sci-fi project? your last lit analysis was good, and i could use the extra pair of hands.”

you blinked at him. “me?”

he nodded, adjusting his glasses. “you. unless you’re too busy with...whatever’s keeping you up.”

oh, you mean my nightly sessions with onyx_lens and my vibrator?

you swallowed hard and tried to play it cool. “nah, i can help.”

and that’s how you found yourself standing outside wonwoo’s apartment later that evening, clutching your bag. his place was exactly what you’d expect from him—minimalist, neat, and smelling faintly of coffee.

“come in,” he said, holding the door open for you. “make yourself comfortable.”

easier said than done. you perched awkwardly on his couch as he set up his laptop on the coffee table, your eyes darting around the room in an attempt to ignore how nice his voice sounded in person.

“so,” he began, sitting across from you, “any ideas for the project?”

you cleared your throat, trying to focus. “uh, maybe something about robots and humanity? like, exploring ethical dilemmas or something.”

wonwoo nodded thoughtfully, his gaze fixed on you in a way that made your skin heat. “good idea. we could tie that into the main themes from class.”

he leaned forward slightly, scrolling through a document on his laptop, and you couldn’t help but notice how his glasses slipped down his nose. you were so not prepared for this level of proximity or his stupidly deep voice.

“you okay?” he asked again, glancing at you.

you blinked, realizing you’d been staring. “yeah, just...thinking.”

his lips twitched into a small, knowing smile. “good. let me know if you need a break or...anything.”

the way he said anything sent a shiver down your spine. you weren’t sure if it was exhaustion, residual arousal from last night, or the sheer presence of wonwoo in his element, but your brain was a mess.

you were supposed to be helping him with this project, but all you could think about was the way his voice would sound whispering in your ear, saying things that would make onyx_lens blush.

you were so close to winning the “most pathetic college student of the year” award it wasn’t even funny. after much back-and-forth with wonwoo, class president of your downfall, you somehow convinced him to let you walk home alone. except the man still went all soft and paid for a taxi anyway, which, like… thanks? but also stop being so nice, what the hell.

it was nearing 11 p.m. when you got home, and as if on cue, your phone pinged with a notification: onyx_lens’s weekly live is starting.

you stared at it for a second, blinking in disbelief. today’s theme? "neon circuits and orgasm denial (a cyberpunk experience) 8d audio"

sci-fi-themed. of fucking course.

you almost laughed at the audacity of the universe for this one. was this some sort of cosmic joke? was wonwoo onyx_lens?! no way. no goddamn way. you shook off the thought as delulu nonsense and dragged yourself to the bathroom for a quick sponge bath.

by the time you flopped into your chair, headphones on, the live was already in full swing. that voice—that stupidly deep, velvety voice—flooded your ears as the chat buzzed with unhinged comments. onyx purred, and you were done for.

you couldn’t even focus on the sci-fi plot he was spinning, something about rogue androids, monster cock, neon vibrators and human experimentation. his voice wrapped around you like a silk chokehold, and you were gone—just a vibrating mess in your chair, coming undone embarrassingly fast.

fast forward to the next morning: you woke up feeling like a used dishrag. again. headphones still on, your phone dead, and the memory of last night’s live replaying in your brain like a broken record.

by the time you dragged yourself to class, you were running on fumes and vibes. your hoodie was scrunched up around your face, making you look like a cross between a gremlin and an overgrown baby.

wonwoo noticed. you could feel his eyes boring into you as you tried—and failed—to stay upright. you were so close to just giving in and laying flat on the floor. honestly, it might’ve been comfier than your chair at that point.

wonwoo, sitting two rows away, looked like he was internally debating whether to intervene or let you rot in peace. when the bell rang, you startled awake like you’d been electrocuted, nearly knocking your stuff off your desk in the process.

“you okay?” he asked, falling into step beside you as you shuffled out of the classroom like a zombie.

“i’m fine,” you mumbled, voice muffled by your hoodie. “just need food. like, now.”

you detoured to the convenience store on the way to his apartment, snagging an entire kimbap roll and tearing into it like a starving animal. wonwoo followed behind, holding your water bottle with a look that was equal parts judgment and amusement.

“you couldn’t wait?” he asked, watching as you ate half the roll in one bite.

“bro,” you said around a mouthful of rice, “if i didn’t eat this, i was gonna pass out on the cold asphalt. your problem now, mr. class president.”

he rolled his eyes but didn’t argue, just handed you your water like the reluctant babysitter he was.

this was going to be a long afternoon.

you couldn’t help yourself. the suspicion had been eating away at you for weeks now, ever since you first heard his voice in class and that nagging sense of déjà vu set in. wonwoo had escaped to the bathroom, and you had the perfect opportunity to snoop.

your fingers hovered over his notebook, but then your gaze darted back to your own screen. back and forth, back and forth. his notebook. yours. the coincidences were piling up like a conspiracy wall in your head. the voice, the specific vocabulary choices, even the cadence—how did i not notice this earlier?!

“fuck it,” you whispered to yourself, grabbing his notebook and quickly pulling up the site where you normally streamed your favorite asmr creator. just to check. just to confirm your theory.

your heart pounded as the site loaded, every second dragging like molasses. the channel page opened, and at first, it seemed normal. too normal. you almost clicked away, feeling stupid for even suspecting anything.

but then you saw it: edit profile. analytics.

your breath caught, and a sharp scoff escaped you as you crossed your arms. oh, my god. the realization hit you like a freight train. it’s him. wonwoo. class president. sci-fi nerd. “how the fuck did i not notice?” you muttered, half impressed by his audacity.

you were so lost in your spiraling thoughts that you didn’t hear him return—until his voice, practically kissed your earlobe.

“what. do. you. think. you. are. doing?”

you jumped so hard your knee slammed into the underside of the desk. whipping around, you found wonwoo standing over you, his expression unreadable but his jaw tight.

“uh—nothing?” you stammered, trying to slam your laptop shut, but his hand darted out and stopped you.

“‘nothing’ doesn’t look like you snooping through my computer,” he said, his voice dangerously calm.

your cheeks burned. “okay, fine, maybe i was curious—”

“you were curious?” his tone sharpened. “curious enough to invade my privacy?”

“invade your—bro, you’re literally whispering dirty robot sex fantasies to the entire internet. how is that private?”

“that’s different!” his ears flushed a deep red, and you couldn’t tell if it was from anger or embarrassment. “that’s content. this—this is personal.”

you rolled your eyes, leaning back in your chair. “oh, please. you’re mad i figured it out. admit it.”

he leaned closer, towering over you now, his hand pressing down on the desk beside you. “what do you want, huh? blackmail? are you gonna tell everyone?”

you laughed, loud and incredulous. “tell everyone?! dude, relax. i’m not gonna expose your little side hustle. besides…” you smirked, tilting your head to look up at him. “you should be thanking me. clearly, i’m a fan.”

wonwoo’s eyes darkened, and his lips parted as if to say something, but no words came out. 

“you’re a what?” he asks, your pulse skyrocketing as he stepped even closer, crowding you against the chair.

“did i stutter?” you whispered, the challenge clear in your tone.

his mouth crashed onto yours, teeth and tongue and frustration. you barely had time to process it before he was yanking you out of the chair, his hands rough as they gripped your hips and spun you around.

“you want to act like a brat,” he growled into your ear, his voice so reminiscent of his asmr persona that it made you roll your eyes back slighty, “then you’re gonna get treated like one.”

he bent you over the desk, the cold surface pressing against your chest as he yanked down your college skirt and underwear at once. his fingers slid through your folds, already slick just from being around him.

“so fucking wet,” he muttered, almost to himself. “you get off on this, don’t you? knowing it’s me.”

“shut your mouth,” you gasped, but it came out more like a moan as he pushed two fingers inside you, curling them and pressing them hard on your front wall.

“make me,” he challenged, his other hand coming down sharply on your ass. the sting made you gasp, your hips jerking against his hand as you tense on the desk.

the pace of his fingers was relentless, his thumb circling your clit in time with the thrusts. every part of your body was starting to be feveirsh, and you hated—hated—how easily he was unraveling you. you spent nights thinking about how it would be if onyx fucked you, and here you are. of course you would be a mess in a second.

“sorry” he mocked you. “am i too much for you?”

you clenched around his fingers, your nails digging into the desk as you tried to hold back a moan. “you talk too fucking much actually wonwoo,” you hissed.

“yeah, that's what's paying me at nights” wonwoo chuckled darkly, pulling his fingers out and flipping you onto your back with his big arms. before you could protest, he was kneeling between your legs, his mouth suddenly hot and insistent against your core, better than any other vibrator you insisted on using at night.

the sounds—the wet, obscene sounds of his tongue—mixed with your whimpers as he devoured you like a man starved. his hands gripped your thighs, holding you open as you tried to squirm away from the overwhelming sensation.

“stop—”

“stop?” he looked up, his chin glistening. “not until you admit i’m your favorite.”

you glared down at him, breathless and defiant. “you’re such an asshole.”

“and yet…” he smirked, diving back in and flicking his tongue against your clit until your head fell back, a broken moan spilling from your lips.

it didn’t take long before you were coming undone, your body shaking as his mouth pulled your clit. wonwoo didn’t stop, didn’t even slow down, dragging out your orgasm until you were a trembling, incoherent chaos beneath him.

wonwoo doesn’t waste a second after pulling back, his hands flipping you over again so you’re bent over the desk, your cheek pressed to the cool surface as he grinds against you. the thick outline of his cock rubs against your dripping folds, still covered by the soft fabric of his grey sweatpants. you gasp, your hips jerking back involuntarily, and his pearly-white smile flashes above you.

“look at that,” he murmurs, almost smug, as a dark spot begins to spread on his sweatpants from your slick. “you’re soaking me through.”

the way he emphasizes the word makes your back contort in shivers, but you’re too far gone to care. your fingers claw at the desk as he keeps humping against you, his pace quickening. when he finally pulls back, you hear the shuffle of fabric as he yanks down his sweatpants and briefs. the soft clink of a drawer opening catches your attention, and you crane your neck to see him sliding on a condom.

“you’re still melting all over my desk,” he rubs a hand over the curve of your ass. “can’t even wait for me, huh?”

before you can respond, his hand comes down sharply on your ass, the sting making you gasp. he doesn’t stop, spanking you again and again until your skin is flushed and burning.

“you look so pretty like this,” he says, his hand smoothing over the heated skin before gripping your waist and lining himself up. “all messy and desperate for me.”

when he pushes in, stretching you inch by inch until you’re full and breathless, pussy trying to clench at his big grith to adjust. wonwoo groans, his head falling forward as he sinks in to the hilt.

your walls flutter around him, and he moans at the feeling, the sound so real and raw that it sends a jolt straight to your core.

“talk to me,” you manage to gasp, your voice muffled against the desk.

he chuckles, his pace picking up as he leans down to whisper in your ear. “you want me to talk dirty? you want me to tell you how tight you are? how good you’re taking me?”

you moan in response, your hips bucking back against him as his words send you curling.

“yeah, you like that, don’t you?” he continues, his voice thick with lust. your moans grow louder, and he suddenly remembers the videos you must’ve listened to—the whining, the moaning. the thought makes his stomach flip, and he decides to give you exactly what you want.

he starts letting out soft whimpers, his voice breaking with each thrust, the sounds spilling out almost involuntarily. “fuck, babe, you’re gonna make me cum—”

the genuine desperation in his voice drives you wild, and your body clenches around him, pulling him deeper. he groans, his hands gripping your hips so tightly you’re sure they’ll leave marks, but you don’t care.

“please,” he moans, his voice high and strained. “let me cum for you. let me—fuck—”

you push back against him, meeting his thrusts as your own climax builds, your breaths coming in short, broken gasps. the room is filled with the wet, obscene sounds of your bodies moving together, and the tension snaps all at once.

you come hard, your body shaking as you cry out, and wonwoo isn’t far behind. his hips stutter, a guttural moan escaping him as he spills into the condom, his body trembling with the force of it.

he collapses over you, his chest heaving against your back as you both try to catch your breath. after a moment, he presses a soft kiss to the back of your neck, his voice still hoarse as he murmurs, “guess i’m a little better live, hm?”

you just let out a defeated moan, the coldness of the table soothing your hot cheeks.

“keep quiet about this, and i'll keep giving you more.” well, it's just an excuse that wonwoo said to fuck you over again.

[tiamathh]

2025: A Brief Look (love n career) ☆

Hi angels! Happy new year may all of you be blessed and prosper and get everything you want and more <33 This PAC has Love and Career the other 2025 PAC will include social life and personal growth! Love you take care 🤭 here's to posting more this year and being consistent which is my new years resolution LMAO LIKES N' REBLOGS APPRECIATED

Masterlist || Paid Readings + FB || Tip Jar

Love [1 -> 3]

Career [A -> C]

Pile 1 ♡

Hey loves! So your love life is going to be really fulfilling this year, starting off there is this deep focus that you will feel when it comes to your social (romantic and platonic) connections and these may be what you will be caring about more in this year. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, this year brings choices that align with your desires and what you may have wanted for a long while.

Dam pile 1 I am getting that you may have to make some really tough decisions this year, because there will be too many good choices, and it could make you a little confused, this im getting may be between a past love and a new one, one which you have been craving (past) and one which you may have wanted for along time (new) this is going to be tough for sure because the person from your past may come into your life this year when you are going through a time where you are on a nostalgia trip. This energy is sos trong that I just envisioned the 2oC, which talks about this year bringing a lot of harmony and balance in your romantic connections. This is the kind of love where you see eye to eye with the other person, and you guys have this almost atomic connection between the both of you, and is a pairing that feels equal and deeply cherished. If you’ve been waiting for someone special, this could signify a soulmate-like meeting. For the ones who are already with someone this year will deepen your bond, inviting more emotional intimacy and a lot of plans for the future, you guys will be taking things to the next level. However, as I already said with the tough decisions part, there may be moments of hesitation or misalignment in the way you express what you want and your emotions which can lead to miscommuncication that could have been avoided. You may feel overly idealistic, which could lead to disappointments if reality doesn’t meet your expectations entirely, you may also (due to your hesitance) hold back romantic gestures because of the fear of uncertainty.

Oof this year is definitely filled with a lot of healing, growing from your wounds and finding closure in simple things when it comes to love, if you’ve been carrying heartaches from previous relationships or struggles with self-love, 2025 will give you a chance to heal and almost get a restart. Romantically, the worst is a 100% behind you, as you are letting go of old pain and stepping into an environment which can foster a lot of love. Okay very very specific message, some of you may be welcoming or starting a new family this year, this can be with regard to fertility or marriage so have fun y'all and stay safe out there lol

x���

Pile 2 ♡

Hey pile 2, love in 2025 this feels like it is mostly for the people who may experinece romantic love or relationships for the first tie this year, I sense the energy of the AoC with new relationships and the energy here is very very fresh, and this year may be the beinning of that long romantic journey and dating life that you may have wanted for a long while. There are going to be a lot of celebrations this year and you may meet someone at one of these celebrations, I am getting the celebrations and joy will revolve around family stuff, like engagements, marriages, birthdays, a party related to your family fs though. This is also a message that things may be getting serious this year for the people who have selected the pile and are in relationships, theres a message that there will be huge milestones that will be achieved in love this year like moving with your partner, and for the singles one out there like me, this could also apply to you guys because your relationships may be getting serious this year.

This pile is the longterm pile for sure, whatever the case may be single or taken, you will find someone who will be there with you for quite a few years. However, theres a lot of confusion here, may be some of you feel like you do not deserve the kind of love that is coming your way or feel like the love is "too good" for you or that there are some terms and conditions applied that you did not know of. This fear due to a lack of self love is going to be the biggest obstacle when it comes to your love life, here you are your own worst enemy. You need to be more reflective and loving to you and you are being encouraged to reflect on your approach towards love both for others and for you. If there are opportunities but your heart is closed, then it will be impossible for love to blossom no matter how strong it is and how badly it wants to come into your life. Unprompted advice here, don't get caught up in the fantasy of a relationship or what it should look like, your relationship can be just as loving and deep as someone elses even if the ways of expressing things are different. Now I am also getting that you could be someone who may be used to rationalising things very often. You need to go with your ut this year when it comes to love, listen to your intuition do not make a pros and cons list (even though thats what i do) just let your gut guide you and you will have the best love year you have ever had muah <3.

x◉

Pile 3 ♡

Hi my pile 3 <33 this is an amazing pile because I instantly SAW cards as soon as I started, okay so starting with the 2 main cards that I saw here those being QoC and the 6oP rx. With the first card here you will be coming into a space where you will completely embrace your empathetic and nurturing side, not being too worried about looking tough anymore.

This card shows that you are embodying the traits of the QoC, which will lead to your cup being filled by someone else as well, maybe someone older than you (romantically) here, they will help guide you and in return love just being in your presence because of this warmth you will be exuding this year. You will be connecting with people on a deep emotional (heart) level, feeling seen and supported in ways you’ve always craved and this is a year where emotional connection is key, and you’ll notice that you will attract a lot of people who may need healing. However, even though thes epeople will be lovely, and you will help thema lot, remember it is not your job to "fix" anyone, and that not everyone will be as giving and ready to reciprocate all the effort and love you put in. Now with the 6oP rx, the same thing I just said is being reiterated that there may be moments where the give-and-take in relationships feels off-balance. You could find yourself giving more than you receive which could almost make you feel like you are obligated to give without getting anything back.

But 2025 has a lot of "victorious" energy, like its fast paced and there will be a LOT of suitors coming to you this year with minimal obstacles, you will be actively partaking and taking steps to look for people, maybe even being the one who approaches people ooo sexy bold energy coming from you here in the dating sphere dam. Although this year is very positive for you in love, and filled with potential you are being tested, how long are you going to stay when you feel like you aren't getting much? How much are you willing to give? It's going to test your perseverance and see if you can stand strong in these situations or maybe make the best of them. Just because you have been hurt before, you will be cautious but don't let these past wounds hold you back, you can always grow.

Ok I just saw the KoC, this is PERFECT OMGG okay okay so I love that we have gotten court cards for the same suit, this shows me that someone who embodies this energy is going to be coming into your life, to balance things out, and give you what you deserve, but you will have to go through quite a bit of rocky talking stages to find them, that is if you are able to identify what you want and from whom in a relationship.

Pile 1 ✈︎

Pile 1 hiiii, your career in 2025 is all about stepping into your power and taking control of your career, you will be very structured and disciplined this year, you have a plan in mind and it will help you improve your leadership skills and be in the spotlight, I am getting star student/employee, someone others will aspire to be like. This year will help you improve your work ethic and create a solid foundation for your work in the future and embrace being in a position where you are in authority, you will also get way better at setting boundaries that means not doing more than you need to, and not being overly generous with the people who wokr alongside you.

You are going to be ON THE GRINDDD this year, working hard and being insanely focused, you will be putting in effort to also refine your communications skills mainly so that you can network more, maybe joining certification courses or mastering your craft but you will definitely be upskilling and trying to make the most of your time. I love this pile omg, you are going to be breaking free from unhealthy patterns or limiting thoughts you may have that could have held you back in the past, like stepping away from toxic work environments, not engaging in petty gossip, MAINTAINING WORK-LIFE BALANCE so you do not burnout and gaining more confidence in yourself. If there is someone with prominent fire energy in your life who may be causing some trouble, they will be toning things down, as you start becoming more self assured.

Although you will be making big big strides in your career and establishing yourself well, you may still find yourself in moments where you feel like you aren't financially stable or where family obligations can lead you to making choices you would not have otherwise, please keep in mind your family is important but you are allowed to make your own decisions removed from your family, not everything has to be done as a unit especially if it is very important to you.

x◉

Pile 2 ✈︎

Hi pile 2, 2025 is going to be a mix bag for you lot like although you’ll experience some significant new opportunities, it will have a lot of challenges. For some of you, there could have been like some strain and dificulty when it comes to financial stability or you could be feeling a lack of support from your family, you guys are my dreamers, you have passion and you want to pursue it, so the trade off for doing something you love is that things may be harder sometimes. You financial strain or lack of support you’ve been feeling might persist longer than you expect. There will be progress, but it may be slower than you’d like, and there might be times when you feel like things are still a bit unstable or just like stagnant, because it can be harder to see your own success and progress at times but trust me you will be progressing, but don’t lose hope babes because you will continue to rebuild, and the find financial abundance around the last quarter of the year.

Teamwork is a big thing here, you’ll need to focus on collaboration more than ever it's like when musicians colab with each other, very artistic vibes coming through here. Although you will have moments where you want to take charge or stand out, your growth will depend on your ability to work with others, being a lone wolf will only take you so far, you cannot and don't need to do everything on your own. I know it can be hard to put your ideas to words sometimes and articulate well, but just remember different opinions and ideas are not an attack on your opinions and ideas, they are simply just different and that's it. There will be a lot of breakthroughs and achievements, but most will require you to step outside your comfort zone and won’t always be smooth, and you may question whether your efforts are paying off or if its even worth it sometimes, wanting to take a more traditional route rather than making your own path.

x◉

Pile 3 ✈︎

PILE 3 MY LOVES this year you are going to get all the praise and recognition you DESERVE for all the work you put in. This will feel validating, and you’ll have moments to truly appreciate what you’ve achieved, but with this will comes the pressure to maintain that level of success, and you might find yourself feeling overwhelmed at times. Despite the recognition, you may find yourself holding onto things because of fears around scarcity or losing control and its natural to want to protect what you’ve worked hard for, but 2025 will require you to take risks. Invest in yourself, whether through further education, expanding your network, or making a different career move, trying to go for something new, will be crucial for growth.

While it might feel uncomfortable at times to loosen your grip, doing so will open the door to new opportunities that could lead to even greater success. The hard work you’ve been putting in will start paying off in a big way, and you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment as you complete major goals. This is a time of fulfillment, where everything you’ve worked toward begins to come together. However, within all this like fast paced stuff you may start to feel signs of burning out and may start having less and less time for your friends and family, it wil. be like you will have tunnel vision for olny work because you want to succeed so bad which is valud but if you don't take care of yourself, the challenges will just keep being added to.

Success doesn’t happen overnight, and sometimes it takes patience and steady effort rather than burning too bright and overworking yourself and then just not being able to keep up. This is your year to nurture what you’ve started and ensure that you’re building a solid foundation for the future, so don’t rush into the next big thing just for the sake of it. Now last message coming through is that there will be opportunities to resolve any conflicts or lingering negativity in your career. If you’ve been dealing with tensions at work or internal struggles about your career path, this is the year to let go of what’s been holding you back, where you will focus on releasing grudges, ego battles, or any negative energy that’s draining you and you will learn how to compromise better too.

All Rights Reserved tiamathh©® DO NOT PLAGIARISE, REWORD, STEAL!

[mandalhoerian]

Repost because tumblr's tags were broken yesterday and it ate my post up 😞 Spoilers and translation notes for Rafayel's intertidal zone & analysis because it kinda floored me, I was just as a blank page as he was throughout this. I had to watch it like 5 times to understand what the story was saying and dig into chinese and japanese versions of this to piece together what was really happening. It may be my idiot brain not getting it and maybe it was like the easiest thing to understand for you but. Yeah. I may be just dumb LMFAO AND!!!! There's also a theory of mine into how Rafayel is actually able to read mc's mind/wishes through their lemurian bond, so stay tuned for that I guess

EDIT: correcting some transcriptions of chinese characters and the translations. sorry about that! google couldn't transcribe it correctly. for clarity's sake i will also include original screenshots. please tell me if anything is wrong!

EDIT 2: Check out part 2 to this as well for stuff I missed!

EDIT 3: An Abysswalker connection I found

So Rafayel’s whole deal in this memory, I believe, is dependency. Like, too much intensity, too much need, too much fear -- about scaring her off, about what he sees himself possibly becoming in the future, overall just being too reliant on mc and getting scared by it.

Let's begin with this massive fear of being a taker, not just in the “I’m stealing someone’s fries” way, but in this existential, soul-deep kind of way where he’s terrified of turning everything he loves into something he exploits out of demand for his art. And yeah, it’s sad when you first hear him say it, but it’s also really interesting when you look at how this all ties into his relationship with MC and his inspiration source drying up because of her.

Before Rafayel became an artist, he looked at the world in this super pure, wholesome way. Sceneries and nature were just there, things to admire and feel awe over without needing to do anything about it. Like, imagine standing at the edge of a desert, looking at a sea that’s drying up. Sure, it’s tragic, but it’s also kind of beautiful in a raw, heartbreaking way. That’s how Rafayel saw things, he could appreciate them without feeling like he had to do anything.

But then Rafayel started creating, and suddenly, sceneries weren’t just sceneries anymore. They became inspiration. He wasn’t just admiring beauty, he was extracting something from it, its meaning, its pain, its soul, to turn into art for other people. And that made him feel all kinds of icky, because now he wasn’t just looking at the drying sea. He was taking from it. Just as he's using his people's pain in his art as well, that's also a thing.

Now let’s talk about MC. Rafayel loves her like he used to love those sceneries,,, in this pure, untainted way. There's a parallel here. But here’s the kicker, he’s not the same guy who can just admire something and leave it untouched anymore.

And suddenly, this is no longer only about losing inspiration for him.

This happens after he and MC get together, and it’s like all the pain and anguish that used to fuel his creativity just.. ... dries up. He can’t find that spark anymore because now his life is surrounded by love instead of suffering. In fact, his inspiration starts coming from her and it's starting to clash with how he makes art. In the phone call, he seeks her out and says he needs her so bad and she only needs to talk to help him out. This is the first wink wink nod nod of the story.

So what does Rafayel do? He goes on this big, dramatic trip to "find inspiration" (or at least his muse), but it’s not just about his art. He’s not just looking for inspiration, he’s trying to figure out how to be less dependent on her and becoming increasingly more restless over this. The temparature and physical discomfort is making things worse, he's anxiously overthinking, and imagine trying to fight this and the longest art block as of late off when all you want to do is indulge in this special person and be comforted like a lap cat all day every day.

He understands that if he lets himself indulge without restraint, one day his love for mc will turn into pure need. He’ll become more and more greedy, and he doesn’t want that and is afraid of being abandoned because of that growing neediness and dependency.

This is in relation to his art, because as @/dat-silvers-girl put in the comments, he's struggling with "the genuine fear of not being able to enjoy anything in life because all you're thinking about how to use it (as an artist)" . what if he starts doing this to her? to their love and relationship? take from her, and become someone who only takes in every area of life -- like someone who only exploits things by extracting what he feels about them to use it for his art. he's afraid of that, he doesn't like that and possibly doesn't like himself who does it. so why should she? she would leave him for sure, in his head, that's a solid reason to.

The first time around he brings up his anxiety about MC leaving him out of the inner realization of his dependency, the possibility of just what he can become, and fear of abandonment. she effortlessly soothes his worries. It's heavily implied they did it afterwards and after hearing "her life has already been consumed by him" he tweaked out a little bit and his "obsession" seeped through.

After it fades to black, he says ほら……僕もとっくに……君に侵食されてしまっているんだ…… which means "See... I've already been completely consumed by you too" in Japanese instead of the life being made a chaotic mess localization. While I think MC's line was jokey and lighthearted, I don't think this man is joking at all. Rafayel didn't say his life was consumed by her as well, he said HE was consumed. Ouh.

This took the edge off from him for a while but they hadn't gotten to the root of the problem yet, so he was back to square one after the memorial hall, because remember, he's trying to find inspiration as an act of making this dependency of his better. Pain and suffering are all around him here, which his inspiration feeds off of. The dried up ocean he could hear weakening, the skeleton of the whale, the burden of his people and homeland more prominent than before. And what does MC do? Tear through the perspective of pain and introduce a hopeful alternative, "Isn't it a surprise to see an ocean in the middle of the desert?"

This is a place that gave Rafayel the height of helplessness and suffering when he visited by himself before despite momentarily being hopeful after the locals told him such a place existed. But now, she was there to comfort him through his loneliness and pain, hug him, and give him hope yet again. He brings up how he wanted to come here with the most important person to him when he was still hopeful about it before consumed by the pain of it all, and that wish has been granted. That moment has to be so powerful for Rafayel. Literally light at the end of the tunnel.

It had me reeling that he just sat in the car after all that, staring at her for god knows how long until she woke up. He was probably overthinking again, but my interpretation that it was heavily emotional for him (it could have meant so little for MC but the world for him, she doesn't even know) and he wanted to be in that moment with her, just feel and look without restraint. Indulge a little. (I can just imagine him going just a little bit more, I'll go after she wakes up.) And like. His eyes are shining in the darkness is the description here. Perhaps he was feeling so much here. So much love. So much happiness. And he's about to go in for a kiss (heavy breathing and everything) after that, but holds himself back and actively has to pry himself away. He's feeling the neediness again.

That’s why he makes an effort to actively wean himself off and says he'll be okay on his own. What he says to her after MC is like "spoiling him" being all "hey you're sick maybe don't go? or let's go together?" (which is NOT helping Rafayel at all) is even more meaningful in Japanese and I didn't know why they left out this context, but the rearranged line would be "Do you want me to become a sea creature beached on the sand after the sea recedes, unable to breathe on my own ever again?"

Yeah. YEAH. This is about dependency. (He's saying don't coddle me I'll literally become that wolf tearing his shirt meme 😭)

So of course his stubbornness and anxiety force him to do things without MC and distance himself, he can do it. He’s determined to prove to himself that he can endure it on his own.

I also feel like part of the reason he insisted on going to the salon alone is that he’s still worried mc might come to dislike the version of him who's someone he's so sure she will leave, who isn't perfect and he hides behind the persona he's put up just for her. If he truly becomes addicted to her and shows her everything/his true self, and she ends up leaving him, it would completely break him. He's trying to be like "im so normal about her haha" but he's so not normal about her at all. He's literally obsessed I feel like, and perhaps this is him fighting it knowing it's not healthy.

and OOOH about why he ends up coming back from the salon all hot and bothered.

I have strong context that she flicked the bean in there after he left her high and dry in the car ("hot water washes away the stickiness from my body and his stifled breaths still echo in my ears, enveloping me along with the steam in the bathroom. The warmth from his fingertips lingers in the places where he touched me..." is the english. however, in chinese, it goes "熱水洗去身上的黏膩，壓抑的喘息迴盪在我耳畔，和浴室裡氤氳的水氣一起包裹著我." stating "the suppressed breathing" -- which doesn't have any possessive adjectives when I translated it on google and later explicitly asked chatgpt if it had any his/my adjectives involved, just to be sure. it said no but i'd like it if a real chinese speaking person could give their input on this !!! PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME WITH CHATGPT

so um. if the context is in fact the case that he heard her masturbating to him, the intensity with which he attacked her would be normal, I think 😭

I have belief that MC unconsciously shatters his "training himself to be without her" determination through their bond. She just keeps thinking about him the entire time. about him reading her thoughts, though. we still don't know all about the lemurian bond they share. I’d say it grants him some sort of mind/heart reading ability or connects their minds together (when she was thinking about whether she should hug him, he answered “yes”).

At the salon, I imagine Rafayel was already thinking about her like crazy. Then he realized, or perhaps, "heard" she was still worrying about him and thinking of him (as much he thought about her) and decided to go back. Rafayel probably felt that suppressing himself was only making her more anxious and unsettled. She's thinking all about him, unconsciously calling to him to come to her, she didn't want to let him go at all, wanted to go with him, etc...

but even if it was his own decision and no mind reading was involved... uh. If you ask me. He did quite literally hear her after coming back. That's also something that might make him think she wants him as much as he wants her, which made his self-restraint utterly meaningless from the start.

Disregarding this theory of mine proven wrong until a Chinese speaker helps me out here, MC returned to Rafayel's room. A translation omission happened here from what I saw. There are no possessive adjectives in the Chinese text about the room she returns to, and the Japanese one states she returned to the guest room (doesn't specify which one. She was also able to enter Rafayel's room without needing to knock before.)

so uh. she went into rafayel's room y'all. the line "this is my room, you're the one who walked in here" MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE. (SO LIKE. NOT ONLY DID SHE GO INTO HIS ROOM, SHE FLICKED THE BEAN THERE AND HE POSSIBLY HEARD IT. SHE'S MORE OF A FREAK THAN HE IS, I UNDERSTAND WHY HE LET GO AFTER THAT LMFAO)

I don't put it past him to get worked up after he finds her in his room post-bath even without my theory lmfao (idk why they put her in a dress when she should be in a bathrobe or something 😭)

His conclusion at the end of this memory that "he finds inspiration in pain and the art of creation is a part of his life. mc made him realize love and art are so alike. even if they don't complete him but burn him instead he wants them (love and art) with every fiber of his being" and MC says she doesn't like that, rightfully so.

So like. There's SO MUCH to unpack in here.

When Rafayel says he finds inspiration in pain and that creation is a part of his life, he’s admitting something raw and essential about himself: pain isn’t just a byproduct of his art, it’s intrinsic to it. For Rafayel, pain and art are intertwined in a way that’s almost inseparable. It’s like his muse isn’t just beauty, but beauty that hurts.

But then he takes this further by connecting art to love. He’s realized that both art and love demand the same from him: vulnerability, passion, and sometimes suffering. They don’t necessarily complete him (he’s not romanticizing them as salvation), but they burn him, wear him down, consume him (coincidentally, this is something he said to MC in the JP dub of this memory, that she consumes him), but also give him life. And for Rafayel, that’s the crux, even if they burn him, he wants them with every fiber of his being.

This is such a Rafayel thing to say. It’s dramatic, it’s tortured, but it’s also deeply SUBTLE. He doesn't spell all of these out, mind you, I got a headache trying to understand him. Or I'm just slow, I don't know. It shows how much he values creation and connection, even if they come at a cost.

MC, on the other hand, challenges this perspective. When she says she doesn’t like that he views love and art as things that burn him, she’s pushing back against the idea that suffering is a necessary part of creation, or love. MC doesn’t want Rafayel to see their relationship as something that requires him to hurt. She’s telling him, “You don’t have to destroy yourself to love me.”

When MC says, “You’ll never have to burn for me,” she’s giving Rafayel an alternative to his destructive mindset. She’s saying that love doesn’t have to hurt, that their relationship can exist without him sacrificing himself on the altar of passion. It’s a refusal to let Rafayel romanticize pain as the price of love.

And I love that Rafayel goes, "Will you help me look for other parts in life outside of pain?" in response. This is NOT about art or inspiration anymore, and the way the dialogue is written is just AUGH. Again I had to rewatch this over and over again for the nuances and subtext.

I love MC's response, she knew exactly what to say. “I’ll always be the one who walks along the shore with you. Of course, diving into the sea bed is fine too. If it can snow in the desert, there will be a day when the ocean returns.”

MC’s response is layered with metaphors, but at its core, it’s about unwavering support and hope::

Walking along the shore: This represents safety and companionship. MC is saying she’ll be with Rafayel in the calm, in the moments where they’re just observing life without diving into its depths. She’ll be his steady presence, his grounding force.

Diving into the sea bed: This is an acknowledgment that life and love sometimes require going deeper and they may go through hardships, into the unknown, the murky, the challenging. MC isn’t afraid of this, she’s willing to go there with him too.

Snow in the desert and the ocean’s return: This is a symbol of hope and transformation beyond being a nod to The Sea of Golden Sand. Snow in the desert seems impossible, just like the idea of Rafayel finding inspiration outside of pain might feel impossible to him. But MC believes in the extraordinary, in change, and in the possibility that beauty and creation can exist outside of suffering.

Her words are a promise: she’s willing to stand by him, to face the unknown together, and to hold onto the belief that a new way of seeing the world is possible.

And Rafayel LOWKEY PROPOSES IN RETURN.

By saying “let’s watch the sea together,” he’s accepting MC’s offer of companionship and hope in the long run. He’s recognizing that life doesn’t have to be about diving into the depths alone, it can be about sharing the experience with someone else, even if it’s just standing on the shore and watching.

“Every sea”: This phrase is key. Rafayel isn’t just committing to one kind of life or one kind of inspiration, he’s opening himself up to all possibilities. Watching every sea means embracing all facets of life, whether they’re calm or turbulent, painful or beautiful. It’s a marriage proposal declaration that he’s ready to explore the world beyond pain, with MC by his side.

So. I love that his inspiration returns after his freak is accepted by MC because he literally feels the acceptance through the bond.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. This memory DRAINED me. They were just supposed to bang what the fuck happened. Why did I have to go treasure hunting to find what was going on in this card. anyway...

[kiwriteswords]

Maybe some already together hotch and reader parenting Jack?

Heartstrings Attached [Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader]

Masterlist || Ao3||Word Count: 3k|| AN: this was fun and really nothing like I have written before! I was re-watching The Nanny pilot where Maggie has her first kiss and Mr. Sheffield's reaction made me wonder how Hotch would react to Jack dating!

Tags/Warnings: established relationship, family vibes, mentions of Haley's death, Teenage Jack Hotchner, Jack's first kiss, Jack's first crush, Jack's first heartbreak, Sad Hotch Hours, Missing Haley Hotchner Hours, hurt/comfort, Jack preferring Reader over Hotch, angsty Jack, No mention of if Reader is BAU or not, future fic, fluffy fluff fluff

Summary: Navigating parenthood is hard enough, but add in teenage love and angst, and Hotch was in for it--grateful to have you at his side, he struggles when Jack prefers your comfort to his own.

In the Hotchner household, evenings typically unfolded with a quiet kind of routine, the kind that comes with the stability of an established relationship and shared space. But tonight, as Aaron Hotchner watched Jack, now a teenager taller than himself, pacing back and forth in your living room, he sensed a disruption to your usual peace.

Jack had always been an anxious kid--much of that hung on Aaron’s shoulders, from all that his job took from and brought into Jack’s life. 

"You seem... preoccupied," Aaron remarked, his voice calm as he set aside the case file he'd been reading. Jack stopped pacing and glanced at his father, then at you, who were curled up on the other end of the couch with a book in hand.

"It's nothing," Jack muttered, clearly wrestling with whether to share more. You looked over at Aaron, giving him a subtle nod, an unspoken signal between the two of you that said, 'Give him a minute.'

After a brief pause, Jack sighed and turned towards you, his expression torn between embarrassment and the trust he'd come to place in you over the years. "Actually, I... there's this girl at school."

You set your book down, your full attention on Jack. "Oh? What about her?" you asked gently.

Jack blushed, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as he mumbled, "I kinda like her. A lot. And I think she might like me too, but I don’t know what to do about it."

Aaron observed the exchange, feeling a twinge of something unfamiliar. Jealousy? No, it was more akin to inadequacy. Here was his son, coming to you with matters he was too embarrassed to discuss with his own father. But watching the ease with which Jack confided in you softened any hard feelings; if anything, it filled him with gratitude.

"What do you like about her?" you inquired, your voice laced with interest and devoid of any judgment.

"She's funny, and she likes a lot of the stuff I do. And she’s really smart," Jack explained, his eyes lighting up as he spoke.

"That sounds wonderful, Jack," you responded, smiling encouragingly. "Have you guys talked much?"

"Yeah, at lunch and stuff. I just... don't know if I should tell her how I feel, or even how to do that," Jack confessed, looking towards his father now.

Aaron cleared his throat, feeling suddenly on the spot. "Well, Jack, the truth is, being honest about your feelings is usually the best approach. It’s not easy, but it’s straightforward. Just... be yourself," Aaron advised, trying to recall how he’d navigated his own youthful crushes, which felt like a lifetime ago.

"You think I should just tell her?" Jack asked, his tone a mix of hope and nerves.

"I do," Aaron said, nodding. "But maybe you could start by asking her to hang out, just the two of you. See how it goes from there."

Jack considered this for a moment, then turned to you. "What do you think?"

"I agree with your dad," you said, your gaze soft yet earnest. "And whatever happens, we're here for you. It's okay to be nervous, and it's okay if things don't go exactly how you plan. What's important is that you're honest and respectful."

Jack nodded, taking in the advice from both of you. "Thanks," he said, a genuine smile breaking through his earlier anxious demeanor. "I think I’ll ask her to the movies this weekend."

"That sounds like a great idea," you encouraged, and Aaron couldn’t help but smile at the warm, supportive dynamic that had blossomed between you and Jack. It wasn’t the traditional picture of a family, perhaps, but it was yours, and it was filled with love and understanding.

Later that evening, as Jack headed upstairs, Aaron lingered behind with you, his expression thoughtful. "Thank you," he murmured, reaching for your hand. "For being here, for being you. For making things like this easier for him... and for me."

You squeezed his hand, leaning into him slightly. "We’re a team, Aaron. And I love being a part of this family."

He nodded, the weight of his earlier feelings of inadequacy lifting in the comfort of your presence. In this household, amidst the quiet routines and the occasional teenage turmoil, Aaron found not just solace but a deep, enduring partnership. And as he looked at you, he knew with certainty that together, there was nothing you couldn't handle.

Aaron Hotchner watched his son, Jack, meticulously adjust his collar for the third time in the mirror. The teenager's movements were stiff, each motion betraying a level of tension that Aaron knew all too well—it was a mirror to his own.

"You look great, Jack. She's going to think so, too," Aaron commented, attempting a reassuring tone as he leaned against the doorway of Jack’s room.

Jack met his father's gaze in the mirror, his eyes flashing briefly with a familiar intensity. "What if I don’t even know what to say? What if—"

"Jack," Aaron interjected, a bit more sharply than intended, "you've prepared enough. Overthinking it won't help."

The words were meant to steady, but they landed like a challenge. Jack turned abruptly, his expression hardening. "You don’t understand. It’s easy for you to say—"

Aaron felt a prickle of irritation. "Jack, I’m trying to help you. There’s no reason to—"

"Yeah, by telling me I’m overthinking? Thanks a lot," Jack snapped, his tone biting, and stormed past Aaron towards the stairs.

You appeared at the bottom of the staircase, having caught the tail end of the exchange. Your expression was one of concern mixed with calm. "Everything okay?" you asked, looking from Jack’s retreating back to Aaron’s tight expression.

Aaron sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "He’s just nervous," he muttered, following you and Jack to the car.

The ride to the movie theater was tense, the air thick with unspoken apologies and frustrations. Aaron drove, his hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly, while you sat beside him, offering a gentle presence. In the backseat, Jack was silent, lost in his own whirlwind of teenage angst.

When you arrived at the theater, Jack unbuckled his seatbelt and paused, his hand on the door. He seemed to struggle with himself for a moment before turning slightly. "Sorry for snapping, Dad. I’m just... really nervous."

Aaron nodded, a mixture of relief and concern in his eyes. "It’s okay, Jack. Just be yourself, she’ll see how great you are."

Jack managed a small, grateful smile before stepping out of the car and into the evening crowd. As he walked away, Aaron watched him go, a pang of helplessness touching his heart. It wasn’t just about tonight; it was the creeping realization of how much he would have to learn to navigate as Jack grew up.

You reached over, touching Aaron’s arm. "He’s going to be fine," you murmured. "And so are you."

Aaron let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. "It never gets easier, does it? Letting them face things on their own."

You shook your head, your smile gentle. "No, but we do get better at trusting them to handle it. And Jack knows he has us to come back to, no matter how it goes."

Aaron glanced at you, the steady assurance in your voice grounding him. "I don’t know what I’d do without you," he admitted, the weight of his role as a single parent momentarily overwhelming.

"You’d do just fine," you assured him, squeezing his arm. "But you don’t have to. We’re in this together, remember?"

He smiled then, a genuine smile that reached his eyes. "Together," he echoed, feeling the truth of that word deep in his bones.

As you and Aaron drove back home, the earlier tension melted away, replaced by a comfortable silence that spoke of shared burdens and joint victories. In that moment, Aaron knew that whatever challenges lay ahead with Jack, or with anything else, they were surmountable—as long as you were there beside him.

When Aaron and you arrived at the theater to pick up Jack, the sight of him waiting by the curb instantly signaled a change. There was a lightness in his step, a barely contained energy that was unusual for the typically composed teenager.

Jack slid into the backseat, a faint, almost secretive smile playing at the corners of his lips. He said nothing as Aaron pulled away from the curb, glancing occasionally in the rearview mirror at his son. Jack’s eyes were bright, his usual tension nowhere to be seen, replaced by an excited glimmer that Aaron had rarely witnessed.

The car was quiet, the silence stretching as Aaron and you exchanged knowing looks. Both of you could sense the bubbling enthusiasm Jack was struggling to contain, yet neither of you wanted to press him, giving him the space to share in his own time.

Finally, unable to bear the suspense any longer and always more attuned to breaking the ice, you turned slightly in your seat to face Jack. “So? How was the movie?” you asked, your voice casual but tinged with an undercurrent of excitement for him.

Jack’s response was immediate, his words tumbling out in a rush. “It was awesome! We...” He paused, a flush spreading across his cheeks, and then he burst out with it. “We kissed! It was my first kiss.”

Aaron’s eyes met Jack’s in the rearview mirror, a smile breaking across his face at his son's joyous exclamation. The car filled with a warm, buoyant energy, the kind that comes from witnessing a milestone in someone you love dearly.

“That’s great, Jack!” you exclaimed, your delight evident. “How do you feel?”

Jack laughed, a sound of pure happiness. “I like her so much. She’s amazing. And the kiss was... it was perfect, I think. I mean, I don’t really have anything to compare it to, but...” His voice trailed off, and he shrugged, almost sheepishly.

Aaron listened, his heart swelling with a mix of pride and a poignant touch of sadness at the reminders of his own first experiences with love. “It sounds like you had a really good time,” he said, his tone supportive. “I’m happy for you, Jack.”

“Thanks, Dad. And thank you,” Jack added, looking at you. “For the advice and... just for being there.”

You nodded, your expression soft. “Anytime, Jack. We’re both so happy it went well.”

The rest of the drive home was filled with Jack sharing more details about the evening—the movie they’d barely watched, the nervous moments leading up to the kiss, and his plans to see her again. Aaron drove, listening and occasionally glancing back at Jack, who seemed to grow with each word he spoke.

When you all arrived home, Jack bounded out of the car with a quick, “Thanks for the ride!” before heading inside, no doubt eager to relive the evening in his mind.

Aaron turned to you, his eyes reflecting a complex mix of emotions. “He’s growing up fast,” he murmured, the reality hitting him anew.

You reached over, taking his hand. “He is. But he’s growing up well, Aaron. That’s all we can ask for.”

Aaron squeezed your hand in response, the solidity of your presence grounding him. “Yes, that’s all we can ask for,” he agreed, the pride evident in his voice. As you headed into the house together, Aaron felt a profound gratitude for the family you had become, imperfections and all, bound together by moments of simple, shared joy like tonight.

Over dinner, Jack's enthusiasm was infectious. As he detailed his plans to woo his new crush with flowers and romantic gestures straight out of the movies, Aaron couldn't help but share amused, knowing glances with you across the table. Every so often, Jack would catch them mid-glance and roll his eyes, a grin unable to hide his embarrassment.

"You think I'm being too cheesy, don't you?" Jack asked a playful accusation in his tone.

"Not at all," you replied, smiling warmly at him. "It's sweet. It's nice to see someone still believes in doing romantic things. Flowers are always a good idea."

Aaron nodded in agreement, watching as Jack considered your advice. "Just make sure you pick ones she likes," he added. "It shows you pay attention."

Jack nodded enthusiastically, absorbing every piece of advice like a sponge. "I’ll find out what her favorites are," he resolved.

The conversation lingered on lighter topics as you finished eating, but the warmth of family and shared understanding lingered in the air.

Later that night, as Aaron and you were getting ready for bed, the atmosphere shifted to a quieter, more reflective mood. You turned to Aaron as he was folding his clothes, a soft smile playing on your lips. "You know, Jack is a lot like you," you mused. "Even as a teenager, he’s got your sweetness. And he gets this giddy excitement about someone he cares about—just like you."

Aaron met your gaze in the mirror, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Was I that obvious?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Completely," you teased gently, stepping closer. "I still remember our early days. Despite your stoic exterior, you had this way of showing your excitement that was... really endearing."

He turned to face you fully, his expression softening. "I guess some things don’t change," he admitted, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "I still feel that way, you know. Every day with you."

Your eyes lit up at his words, and you leaned into his touch. "And I love that about you, Aaron. It’s the little things you do, the way you show you care. It’s never lost on me."

The conversation lingered in the air, settling warmly around them like a blanket. It reminded Aaron of how much he still wanted to make you feel special, how even the simplest gestures could speak volumes.

"Jack gave me a good reminder; I think I’ll buy you flowers tomorrow," Aaron declared softly, more to himself than to you.

You chuckled softly, your eyes twinkling with affection. "I’d like that," you said. 

As you finished getting ready for bed, the connection between them felt as fresh and exciting as it did in the early days of your relationship, a testament to the enduring nature of deep, genuine love.

It wasn’t long until the atmosphere of the Hotchner household shifted dramatically one afternoon when Jack burst through the front door, his usual calm demeanor replaced by a storm of teenage angst. He rushed past Aaron and you, not stopping to greet or even acknowledge either of you, his footsteps thundering up the stairs. Moments later, his bedroom door slammed shut with a force that echoed down the hallway.

You and Aaron exchanged a look of concern, both sensing the gravity of whatever had upset Jack so deeply. Aaron's jaw set in a familiar, determined line as he made his way to Jack's room, knocking softly despite the previous display of anger.

"Jack, can we talk?" Aaron called through the door, his voice calm but firm.

There was a tense pause, then a muffled, "Go away," from inside.

Aaron opened the door anyway, stepping into Jack’s room to find him sitting on the edge of his bed, his face buried in his hands. "Jack, whatever it is, I’m here to help," Aaron offered, trying to bridge the gap with understanding.

Jack looked up, his eyes red and his expression one of raw, unguarded pain. "You wouldn’t understand," he snapped, his words laced with frustration. "You met Mom in school and then found Y/N so easily after Mom passed. You’ve never had your heart broken like this."

The comment stung, bringing with it a flood of memories—of Haley, of loss, of the deepest kind of heartbreak Aaron had ever known. But he had to laugh internally at the irony; Jack had no idea what real heartbreak was, yet his feelings were valid in their own teenage context.

"Jack, I may not understand exactly what you're feeling right now, but I’ve experienced loss, more than just once. I can try to help," Aaron said, his voice even despite the emotional undercurrent.

Aaron looked around his son’s room--oh, how it had changed so much over the last few years. The legos and drawings now replaced with soccer trophies and posters.

"It’s not the same!" Jack retorted, his anger flaring again. "You don’t get it. She said she just wants to be friends, after everything... after the kiss. I thought... I don’t know what I thought."

Aaron sat down beside him, trying to close the distance. "It’s tough, feeling like you’ve been pushed aside," he offered. "But it doesn’t diminish what you felt, or what you meant to each other."

Jack shook his head, the rejection too fresh, too raw. "Just leave, Dad. Please," he murmured, not meeting Aaron's eyes.

Respecting his son’s request, Aaron stood and left the room, the door closing softly behind him this time. He returned downstairs, where you were waiting, having sensed that the conversation might not have gone smoothly.

Aaron relayed the interaction to you, his features tight with concern and helplessness. "He’s really hurting," Aaron confessed, the weight of his role as a father feeling particularly heavy.

You stepped closer, wrapping your arms around him. "You did what you could. He just needs some time," you reassured him, your voice soothing. "Heartbreak is a part of growing up, as hard as it is to watch. He'll learn from this, with us to support him."

Aaron nodded, leaning into your embrace, grateful for your presence and perspective. "It’s just hard, seeing him go through it," he admitted. "Makes me wish I could shield him from all the pain."

"But then he wouldn’t really grow, would he?" you pointed out gently. "All we can do is be here when he’s ready to talk, ready to heal."

"Right," Aaron agreed, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "Thank you," he added, the gratitude in his voice reflecting more than just thanks for this moment—it was for every moment you stood by him, helping him navigate the complexities of fatherhood and life itself. Together, you would be ready for when Jack decided to open up, ready to guide him through the pain toward healing.

Later that evening, as Aaron sat in the living room thumbing through an old case file, he couldn't shake the image of Jack’s hurt expression. He was roused from his thoughts by the sound of footsteps descending the stairs. Looking up, he saw Jack hesitating at the foot of the staircase, his eyes darting between Aaron and the hallway where you were.

"Dad, can I talk to Y/N?" Jack asked quietly, his voice revealing his vulnerability.

Aaron felt a pang in his chest, torn between relief that Jack was seeking comfort and a sting of jealousy that it wasn’t from him. He thought of Haley, of how things might have been different if she were here, but then he looked at you, emerging from the hallway behind Jack, and his heart filled with gratitude. You had become an integral part of their lives, filling spaces he hadn't known were empty.

"Of course, Jack," Aaron replied, managing a supportive smile as he watched you approach, your presence reassuring and steady.

You gave Aaron a gentle look that seemed to understand his mixed emotions before turning your attention to Jack. "Let’s talk, okay?" you said softly, guiding Jack back to his room for privacy.

Left alone with his thoughts, Aaron reflected on his journey—the loss of Haley, the challenges of single parenthood, and the unexpected blessing of finding love again with you. It was a complex tapestry of grief and new beginnings.

When you and Jack reappeared a while later, there was a noticeable shift in Jack’s demeanor. He seemed calmer, more composed, and he walked straight up to Aaron.

"I’m sorry for pushing you away earlier, Dad. I didn’t mean to," Jack apologized, his eyes earnest.

Aaron stood, setting aside the file, and pulled Jack into a hug. "It’s okay, Jack. I understand. It’s not easy, and I’m here whenever you need to talk, okay?"

Jack nodded, returning the embrace. "Thanks, Dad."

As they settled onto the couch, Aaron next to you and Jack opposite, the atmosphere was lighter. Aaron felt the need to address the earlier tension and offer some fatherly advice.

"Jack, life... it throws a lot at us. Heartbreak, loss—it’s all part of it. But so is happiness and love," Aaron began, his eyes flicking to you, then back to Jack. "You have plenty of time to find your happy ending. And sometimes, it happens when you least expect it."

He reached over, taking your hand in his, a silent testament to his words.

Jack smiled, a touch of red coloring his cheeks as he understood the implication. "I guess you’re right. I’ve got time."

"And remember, no matter what, you’re never alone," you added, squeezing Aaron’s hand. "We’re both here for you, always."

The rest of the evening passed with a new sense of understanding and closeness among you all. Aaron felt a deep sense of peace as he looked at you and Jack--his family. At this moment, he knew that despite the trials and the losses, you had found a way to build something enduring and real. And for Aaron, you were indeed his happy ending, the unexpected joy that had come from a time of great loss.

Tag List: @zaddyhotch @estragos @todorokishoe24 @looking1016  @khxna @rousethemouse @averyhotchner @reidfile @bernelflo @lover-of-books-and-tea @frickin-bats @sleepysongbirdsings @justyourusualash @person-005 @iyskgd @hiireadstuff @kcch-ns @alexxavicry

[heylittleriotact]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the majority of death care professionals I’ve worked with have some sort of fucked up mortician-origin-story and got into funerals in the first place to either try and demystify death or cope with their trauma by constantly exposing themselves to it, and that’s literally what Emmrich has done his entire life and it’s why I love him so much.

Under the cut for some pretty raw death talk, including infant death, because fuck it - there’s a reason this pixel man lives rent free in my head and I’m about to get personal.

My Mom very unexpectedly and traumatically lost a full term pregnancy when I was 7. The first corpse I ever saw or touched was my dead sister. The first baby I held in my arms was dead.

What the fuck do you mean she’s dead? Why is she dead? She’s a baby. Babies don’t die. Old people die. Bad guys in movies die. Babies don’t.

And then from there it was like… months of infuriating and condescending bullshit from well-meaning people just wanting to reconcile with something that can’t really be reconciled with: people said a lot of stuff to me like, “it was God’s plan” or, “it wasn’t meant to be” or, “at least she didn’t suffer” or “God needed her more” and loads of other trite bullshit in the same vein, and it really, really fucked with me as a child.

I watched it destroy my already unstable mother and cause her to take out her complicated grief on me - her abusive tendencies sharply escalated after the loss. I think she resented me. I think she resented seeing how much the loss hurt me and felt that I had no right to be as upset as I was. I think she didn’t know how to support a grieving child when she didn’t even have the tools to support herself.

I felt so isolated and confused. I became obsessed with death and heaven and angels and the idea of a soul, and as I got older, I couldn’t let go of the belief that no child - or person for that matter - should have to go through what I did.

So I became a funeral director. Because if I could help one child in a horrific situation feel seen and validated, then I’d made a difference. If I could help one despondent mother towards the right resources, or even just fucking make her feel seen and validated too, maybe she’d wind up in a better place than mine did.

I wanted to say fuck you to death. I wanted to prove my defiance by helping the living people left behind pick up the pieces. I wanted to learn to handle the unavoidable, permanent, unfeeling existence of death with the cautious reverence that one would employ when handling a venomous snake. And I did. I helped a lot of people and it fed my soul in insurmountable ways.

I became that weird death obsessed friend who couldn’t talk about anything EXCEPT funerals and death and souls and embalming and what happens to your body when you die. If you had a curious question about death or funerals? I would jump on the chance to answer it for you. Needed help with the loss of a loved one? I’ve gotchu. I became The Death Guy (I guess I still kind of am - I’m still happy to front questions and help friends and family navigate death and funerals because the knowledge is all still there.)

Eventually it became a great way for me to bury other traumas that happened to me (an abusive childhood, sexual assault and all sorts of abuse at the hands of a partner) and just not really deal with them because I couldn’t: I didn’t have time to deal with my own shit because other people needed help more than me. After all, they were dealing with a death. My own problems were small in comparison, right?

It all caught up with me after living and working through the nightmare that was COVID, and I burnt out super hard, had a small breakdown, hit the sauce super hard for awhile, and developed a lovely anxiety disorder and full blown insomnia. Counselling and a career change have helped immensely, but yeah…

I obsess over this old man as much as I do because I see a lot of my own shit and insecurities and fears and unhealthy coping mechanisms in him, and I just want everything to be okay for him, because it ended up being okay for me. It just took a lot of fucking work to get there.

To be gifted a character as complex and real as Emmrich is some once in a lifetime shit, and I’m so glad he exists. Get his ass to therapy.

I'm glad we agree that Emmrich has an absolutely unconscionable amount of rizz. However, I also have a great appreciation for his proficiency at the great honored pastime of Being A Fucking Weirdo. My man goes to work at the Death Factory every single day and copes with his deep deep fear of dying by?? Cosplaying a skeleton? Taash was NOT WRONG when they called him the corpse guy. Even amongst other necromancers, he is THEE corpse guy! His best friend is a skeleton and he hasn't left the Cemetary Where He Lives for years. He is 90% ookie spooks and 10% bisexual disaster man. The only reason he's so suave and smooth is because the ookie spooks are actually load-bearing and manage to utterly obscure what a nervous wreck he is at all times of day. It's hard to give into the existential dread when you're spending all of your time saying shit like, "The tapestry of the Fade holds many threads."

I just know that this man is holding back the mother of all existential crises. He all but has it after he yoinks Rook out of the Fade but he bottles it back up so quick you KNOW that wasn't the whole thing. You KNOW that Rook is going to wake up in the middle of the night six months after Elgar'nan bites it and there Emmrich will be, lich or not, staring blankly at the ceiling and saying, "Darling, what does it all mean?" Emmrich Volkarin is a sexy, sexy man who needs therapy and some sleep and maybe an extended sabbatical from Dead People University.

[littlelamy]

𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓭𝓾𝓬𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓵𝔂!𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

author's note: so excited to show introduce you guys to holly!reader. also HUGE credits to @rafesplaymate for inspiration. i read her glamourmodel AU and became obsessed to say the least.

holly!reader has everything the kook life offers—money, power, designer everything—but honestly? she can't stop thinking about the pogue life. it's messy, it's chaotic, and it's fucking free. she loves the way they don’t give a shit about all the fake crap she’s surrounded by. she craves the simplicity of living in the moment, without having to worry about her daddy’s expectations or some fancy-ass gala. the pogues are wild, and that's exactly what she wants. it's her dirty little secret, but she's obsessed with it.

whenever holly!reader’s old man is off doing his bullshit corporate stuff, she knows it’s her time to escape. she doesn’t need anyone else but jj. he's always ready to ditch whatever he's doing just to pick her up, and she loves that. no questions, no bullshit—just him, her, and a car ride to wherever the hell they feel like going. she doesn’t have to play the perfect kook when she’s with him. it’s just fun, no strings attached. and let’s be real, jj’s exactly the kind of guy she needs to get out of her head. sure, it’s john b’s beat-up van, and the thing probably smells like a mix of saltwater, beer, and whatever they dragged in from their latest adventure, but it’s still the best fucking ride. it doesn’t matter if it’s not a shiny sports car—whenever jj’s driving, everything else fades away. he’s the only one who can make her forget about her fake-ass world, even if it’s just for a little while.

though the kook is very popular on the island, she has a special place in her heart for the pogues. holly might be the golden girl in figure eight—always smiling, always looking flawless—but deep down? she's tired of the fake ass smiles and shallow conversations. yeah, she’s got a crowd, but it’s the pogues who really get her. they don't care about appearances or how much money she’s got. they just... live. no masks, no games. she’d trade all the glitz and glam for a night spent with them in a heartbeat. but of course, she'd never admit that to anyone, 'cause that’d be a hell of a confession.

holly!reader is a definite tease. let's be real—holly knows exactly what she’s doing. whether it’s that flirty little smile or the way she twirls her hair when she’s talking to someone, she’s always got people on edge. she’s got the looks, the charm, and the attitude that drives people insane. but she’s not dumb—she knows how to use it. keep them hanging, keep them wanting more, but never give them what they want. it's all a game to her, and she’s winning.

holly!reader gained the nickname ‘playmate.’ it didn’t take long for everyone to start calling her 'playmate.' it's that mix of innocence and sex appeal, that perfect balance between the girl next door and the one you wanna fuck. holly owns it. she’s got that glamour look down to an art, posting sultry shots of herself in the most random spots—like, by the marina, on the beach, or even in her daddy’s mansion, just looking effortlessly hot. people talk about it, but hell, she’s the one getting all the attention. it's not her fault they can’t stop staring.

holly!reader is known for her glamour photos. you know the deal—holly!reader is always posting something. she's the queen of Instagram on the island, with every photo making people want to drop everything and come meet her. she's got the glamour shots, the beach shots, the “casual” shots of her looking like a fucking goddess no matter what she’s doing. you know she’s not just posting for fun—each shot is her way of saying, "look at me, fuckers." and honestly? it works. the Cut’s her playground, and she's the star of it all.

taglist: @namelesslosers @maybanksangel @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @rafesheaven @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @rafesangelita @sstargirln @rafedaddy01 @soldesole @bakugouswaif @skywalker0809 @vanessa-rafesgirl @evermorx89 @outerhills @ditzyzombiesblog @slavicangelmuah @alivinggirl @auroramadelyn

[strangevynl]

NOTICE | k.sm x reader

nerdyboycrush!seungmin x bsf!reader

warnings: eating disorders | anorexia | angst | one sided love.

—————

Seungmin was the epitome of "cool," though not in the traditional sense. He wasn't the jock, nor the rebellious bad boy, but there was something magnetic about him. With his glasses perched perfectly on his nose, messy but somehow deliberate hair, and sharp wit, Seungmin had the rare ability to be both the smartest kid in class and the one everyone wanted to be around. It didn’t hurt that his quiet demeanor gave him an air of mystery that only added to his allure.

Everyone knew Seungmin, and, naturally, everyone had a crush on him. Girls from every corner of the school would flock to him, hoping for his attention. Some flirted, others tried to offer help with his studies, but Seungmin’s eyes—those expressive brown eyes—always seemed to drift toward someone else.

And that someone else was “you.”

You had been best friends with Seungmin since middle school, and somehow, over the years, your friendship had deepened. He was the person you could laugh with, vent to, or simply sit in comfortable silence with. Yet, no matter how long you had known him, no matter how often you walked beside him between classes, he never seemed to see you the way everyone else did. He saw you as his best friend. His "just friend."

Meanwhile, every girl in school—whether it was the popular cheerleader, the shy new transfer student, or the class president—would make it a point to talk to Seungmin. They’d ask him questions about assignments, casually compliment him, or simply drop by his locker to chat. You couldn’t help but notice how his face would light up when they spoke to him. He was always so kind to them, so patient, so *interested.* And no matter how much you told yourself you were happy just being his friend, it stung every single time.

One day, as the two of you sat under the big oak tree in the school courtyard during lunch, a girl from your class—Hannah, who was known for having a sharp eye for cute boys—walked up to Seungmin. She had a flirty smile on her face and, without skipping a beat, leaned over to say something that made Seungmin laugh.

You sat there, pretending not to notice the slight tightening in your chest. You focused on your half-eaten sandwich, not wanting to give away how affected you were. But as you took a bite, you couldn’t help but glance up at Seungmin.

And, of course, his eyes were on her. He was looking at Hannah like she was the only person in the world, his smile widening as she said something else. You could almost hear the unspoken words in his expression, his interest in her so obvious it made your heart ache. For a brief second, his eyes flickered to you, but it was just a glance, a fleeting moment before his attention returned to Hannah.

You looked down at your hands, willing the heat that had rushed to your cheeks to subside. “It’s fine,”you told yourself. “You’re his best friend, and that's enough.”

But deep down, it wasn’t enough.

🎐…..

A week later, you were walking to your next class when you bumped into him in the hallway. Seungmin’s eyes widened in surprise, and he quickly adjusted his backpack strap, offering you a sheepish smile.

“Oh, hey, I didn’t see you there,” he said, his voice warm and familiar, just like it always was.

You managed a tight smile, trying to act like you weren’t just thinking about his constant attention toward other girls. “Hey,” you replied, glancing up at him.

“Hey, are you alright? You look a little… distracted,” he said, his brow furrowing in concern. You could tell he was genuine, but you also knew he didn’t understand what you were feeling. He never did.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you said quickly, shaking it off. “Just… thinking about stuff. You know how it is.”

Seungmin nodded, oblivious to the weight of the unspoken words between you. "Right, right. So, I was wondering if you wanted to study together later? I’m trying to get ahead in physics. I know you’re like, the best at it.”

You hesitated. The offer made your chest swell with warmth because, for a moment, it felt like you weren’t just his "friend"—you were something more. “But am I?”you thought, shaking the doubt out of your head.

"Yeah, that sounds good," you said, your voice steady despite the storm of emotions in your chest. "I’ll meet you at your place after school.

As Seungmin gave you one of his genuine, effortless smiles, you tried to ignore the ache inside. You were his best friend, and you’d always be there for him. But sometimes, just sometimes, you wished that the way he looked at you could be the same way he looked at everyone else.

The study session later that day was almost painfully normal. You sat next to Seungmin at his desk, working through problems in physics like you always did. But this time, you couldn’t stop thinking about the way his eyes lit up whenever another girl walked into the room. His smile was easy, effortless. His attention was easy to earn, if you were a little more than just a friend.

By the end of the session, as you packed up your things, you felt a knot in your stomach. Seungmin didn’t notice, of course. He never did. He was too busy asking if you wanted to grab a snack or if you were free for a movie on the weekend.

But as he smiled at you, a little too wide this time, a quiet voice whispered in your heart: “Maybe this time, he’ll see you differently. Maybe, just maybe, one day, he will.”

But until then, you’d be right by his side, even if he couldn’t see the feelings you kept hidden behind the smile.

🎐….

Days turned into weeks, and your growing distance from Seungmin became more apparent, even to you. You didn’t spend as much time with him after school, no more study sessions or spontaneous trips to the convenience store. He tried to reach out a few times, but you brushed him off with excuses. “I’m tired,” you’d say. “I have a lot of homework.” It wasn’t like you were lying; it was just that the homework had become the perfect excuse to hide from him, to hide from everything.

You felt safer alone in your room, away from the world that reminded you of everything you weren’t.

The weight loss continued, and soon your clothes hung loosely from your frame, the reflection in the mirror becoming harder and harder to recognize. Your ribs were more pronounced now, your arms thinner, your face sharper. For a fleeting moment, you thought you might actually be happy with the changes. Maybe if you could just get thinner, *prettier,* then maybe—just maybe—someone like Seungmin would finally look at you the way you’d always hoped.

But deep down, you knew the truth. It wasn’t just about your body it was about the part of you that had been slowly fading away, trying to fit into a mold you were never meant to. You’d been chasing something you’d never get, and each pound you lost felt like a part of your soul slipping away with it.

🎐….

One afternoon, while sitting alone at lunch in the library, you heard footsteps approaching. Your heart sank when you looked up and saw Seungmin standing there, his gaze soft but filled with something you couldn’t quite place. You hadn’t seen him in a while, and he seemed different somehow—distant, like he wasn’t sure how to approach you anymore.

“Hey,” he said, his voice tentative. “Mind if I sit with you?”

You bit your lip, forcing yourself to smile. “Of course.” It was a hollow gesture, though, and you both knew it.

Seungmin slid into the seat across from you, setting his lunch tray down with a small clink. He didn’t start eating right away. Instead, he just looked at you, his eyes tracing your face in a way that made you uncomfortable.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said, his tone neutral, but there was a tightness around his jaw. “I know I haven’t been the best at… well, understanding, but I thought we were still friends. I thought we could talk about anything.”

You didn’t know how to respond. The words that had been boiling inside you for weeks were stuck in your throat, the anger and hurt mixing with a deep sadness you didn’t know how to explain. You wanted to shout at him, tell him how much his rejection had destroyed you, how much it still hurt every time he laughed with another girl, how much you wished you could just be someone he could care for the way you cared for him.

But instead, you just stared at him, your fingers fidgeting with the corner of your book.

“I’m fine, Seungmin,” you said, repeating the lie you’d been telling yourself for months. “I’ve just been… busy.”

He frowned, leaning in slightly. “I don’t believe you,” he said softly. “You’re not fine. I can tell.”

You could feel the heat rise in your face, a mixture of guilt and frustration. You wanted to snap at him, to tell him to mind his own business. But you couldn’t. You just couldn’t.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you said quickly, the words rushed, almost pleading.

Seungmin looked at you for a long moment, his eyes searching your face. You could see the concern in them, but you couldn’t bear to face it. The last thing you wanted was for him to pity you.

“I’m worried about you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’ve changed. And I don’t think it’s just because of school.”

You froze. There was no way he could know. He couldn’t know the lengths you’d gone to in order to change yourself, to try and fit into some version of “perfect”that you knew wasn’t even real.

“I’m fine,” you repeated, this time your voice firmer, even though your heart was breaking. “Just leave it alone, Seungmin. Please.”

His expression softened, but there was still a flicker of something behind his eyes—something that you couldn’t decipher. “I’m not going to leave it alone,” he said, his voice more determined now. “I’m your friend. And I’m here, okay? Whether you want to talk about it or not.”

For a second, you almost wanted to tell him everything—how you’d felt so invisible for so long, how his rejection had torn you apart, how you’d convinced yourself that losing weight, changing who you were, would somehow make him see you. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t bring yourself to show him the broken pieces of you that you were desperately trying to hide.

Instead, you just looked away, trying to keep the tears that threatened to spill under control.

“I don’t need your help,” you said quietly, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

Seungmin’s eyes widened slightly, as if your words had stung more than you realized. “You don’t need my help?” he repeated, his voice gentle but firm. “You don’t need anyone?”

You swallowed hard, trying to steady your shaking hands. “No. I don’t. I’m fine.”

There was a long silence. Seungmin seemed to search your face, as if waiting for you to say something more, to open up to him. But you didn’t. You couldn’t.

“I’ll leave you alone, then,” he said finally, his voice quieter now. “But just know, I’m here. Whenever you want to talk.”

And with that, he stood up, his tray untouched, and walked away. You watched him go, your chest tight with a mixture of relief and guilt.

But as the door to the library closed behind him, a cold, heavy emptiness settled over you. For a moment, you thought about calling out to him, about telling him everything. But you couldn’t. The distance between you had grown too wide. You’d built up too many walls.

And no matter how much you wanted him to see you, to see the real you, you couldn’t tear down the ones you’d put up, not now.

---

The weeks dragged on. Your weight continued to drop, and while you were more withdrawn, you started to notice people around you especially Seungmin looking at you differently. Some of the girls who used to talk to him started whispering, glancing at you with something that resembled envy.

But you didn’t care about them. You didn’t care about anyone except Seungmin. You had spent so long wishing to be someone who could be noticed, someone who was worthy of his attention. But even now, when you had finally become someone different, it still wasn’t enough.

And deep down, you knew something even more painful than that: He might never look at you the way you wanted him to. But the hardest part was realizing that you might never look at yourself the way you wanted to either.

——

That night, you found yourself sitting at a study table, surrounded by half-open notebooks and the faint buzz of other students working in the background. But your mind wasn’t on the textbooks in front of you. It was on him—Seungmin.

Yes, you were back at his place after he requested you to study with him. you can never seem to restrain yourself when he asks you for something it was always one of his charms, his round boba eyes looking at you pleading beside the lockers for you to study for the exam with which ended up with the both of you here. Studying like the old times

You had tried so hard to push those feelings away, bury them deep, pretend you were fine, but every time you saw him—every time he smiled at you or talked to you like nothing had changed—it became harder to ignore. It wasn’t the rejection that had hurt the most. It was the fact that it felt like he only saw you as his best friend. Just a friend.

You stared down at your notebook, the words blurring together, your hand shaking slightly as you tried to focus on your notes. You couldn't anymore.

The words bubbled up from somewhere deep inside of you, and before you could stop them, you turned to Seungmin, who was sitting across from you, tapping away on his phone. His usual easygoing expression was there, but tonight, you could barely look at him without feeling the weight of everything you had been holding back.

"Seungmin…" Your voice trembled, and you hated how fragile it sounded. He looked up, sensing the change in tone, his brow furrowing in concern.

"Yeah?" His eyes softened, and in that moment, he looked so oblivious to the storm swirling inside you.

You couldn’t do it anymore. "You have no idea, do you? How much this… all of this has affected me."

He blinked, clearly confused. "What are you talking about?"

You inhaled sharply, your chest tightening as frustration and pain flooded through you. You didn’t care anymore. You didn’t care about holding it in or pretending you were fine. "When you rejected me, Seungmin… it crushed me. You said you liked me, but not that way, and it’s like you’ve been treating me like nothing changed, but everything changed! I didn’t just get over it! I couldnt”

Seungmin’s face went still, and for the first time, you saw something flicker in his eyes—something like guilt. But it was too late for that. You had to keep going, or you’d never find the closure you needed.

"I lost so much weight after that. You know that, right? I thought if I changed how I looked, maybe I’d be good enough for you. Maybe you’d see me differently. But no matter what I did, it didn’t matter, because you’ll always just see me as your friend! I was so stupid to think you could feel the same way about me. I was just a friend, and that’s it. I wasn’t even enough to make you see me as “more."

You felt the words hit the air like a slap, the raw emotion in your voice a stark contrast to how carefully you’d kept it buried for so long. The room felt heavy, and for a moment, you weren’t sure if you’d said too much.

Seungmin was quiet. Too quiet. You dared a glance at him, only to see his face twisted in an expression that was too hard to read.

"You…" His voice cracked, and he looked down at his hands, his fingers pressing into the paper on the desk. "I didn’t know… you really felt that way. I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, you know that, right?"

Your heart hurt hearing him apologize, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was too late. “I know you didn’t mean to,” you said softly, shaking your head. “But you still did. And it changed everything.”

The silence stretched between you two, thick with all the unsaid things. You watched Seungmin, who was struggling with his words, looking at you like he didn’t know how to fix this, because maybe, in some twisted way, he couldn’t.

"I never wanted to make you feel like you weren’t enough," he said quietly, his voice sincere, but it still felt distant. "I… I just never saw you the way you wanted me to. I see you as my best friend. That’s all I can see."

Those words—those exact words—were the ones you had dreaded hearing from the moment you’d confessed. You had known it all along, deep down, but hearing it from his lips, right in front of you, was still a punch to the gut.

"Yeah," you whispered, blinking back the tears threatening to spill over. "I know."

The realization hit you hard. He would never look at you the way you wanted him to. No matter how much you changed, no matter how hard you tried, he would always just see you as his friend. And somewhere inside, you knew that was the part you had to let go of.

Seungmin looked like he wanted to say more, but you couldn’t let him. You had already said everything you needed to say. And as painful as it was, you felt like a weight had been lifted—finally, the truth was out.

Without another word, you stood up from the table, your hands shaking as you gathered your things. Seungmin called your name as you walked away, but you didn’t turn back. You couldn’t.

It was time to stop pretending. Time to stop chasing someone who would never see you the way you wanted to be seen. Time to start moving on, even if it meant leaving a piece of your heart behind.

🏷️: none yet!

[synvil]

Interested // VID : 002 » Viewing Pleasure (( Camgirl! Series ))

a/n : ahhh thank you for the love and support ! <3 feel free to leave thoughts, comments or suggestions, either in the comments or my ask box! :3 picture found online.

btw i can’t fucking think of titles for the life of me.

synopsis : things between you and jj get a little tense. meanwhile another person seems to grow infatuated with you and you’re getting a little excited for your next stream?

agh i’m so bad at titles and summaries ;-;

Vid : 001 // Vid : 003

viewing pleasure m.list

“Add to cart~!”

You squeal in excitement, unable to contain your joy as you make your first purchase online after your payment came in from your first stream.

"Haha, I can't believe it. I can even afford to get same-day delivery."

JJ stands at a distance, watching you with his arms crossed and his lips in a thin line. His eyes are unable to leave your form, constantly trailing up and down your body, always finding itself on the round of your ass. He bites his lip, attempting to be discreet as he taps his fist on the surface of the countertop a few times before clearing his throat. "So, I assume it went well."

“You kidding?” You whirl your head towards him with shining eyes. “It went way better than i thought. I’m so relieved.”

JJ gives a bitter smile, his brow twitching slightly. “So you made some decent money then. That means you’re not going to stream anymore?” He says, making his way over, pulling at his shirt to tuck it over his pants in hopes it covers the visible erection.

“Hmm.. no, I might continue.” You say, watching as he takes a seat beside you, and his brows furrow. “What? I thought you made enough money for rent.”

“well, yeah, but I like being able to make so much money.. and I had a lot more viewers for my first stream than expected.” You reason, setting your phone down after making the purchase. “I mean, I don’t have to stress about finding another job that pays me so little, and with streaming, I can work any time, any day.”

JJ sits up straight as he narrows his eyes at your reasoning. Being able to make money fast was nice but it shouldn’t be at the expense of your body online. “[Name], what about all the creeps online? Who knows what kind of weird old perverts were saving videos and pictures of you?”

Your frown becomes evident on your face, but part of you knew he was right. Streaming wasn’t the safest activity and you didn’t want to sound greedy, but having that much money was more important to you right now. You’d only keep going to make enough to save for bills and stuff, while also saving enough for your own miscellaneous purchases. But..

“I know you’re right but i’ll be okay, J. Besides..” a flush overcomes your cheeks as you shyly look away, feeling embarrassed to admit this to your best friend.

“I kinda liked the attention.. It’s nice hearing and reading everyone complimenting me and liking what they saw. I might do more, but I won’t go crazy with it. I’ll only do it until I make enough in savings.”

JJ hitches a breath, his eyes widening when he hears your confession. It wasn’t anything serious but the way his cock twitches and his heart pounds makes him look away. “You..like showing off your body?”

“Y-Yeah..” You nod in confirmation, pink tints on your cheeks as you look away.

The blonde swallows a bit, holding his breath to gain some control as he turns away. “Shit.”

“JJ?”

“I gotta go. Talk to you later.” He abruptly stands and walks off, heading out of your house and to the door, shutting it behind him as he mounts his truck and drives away.

Your taken back and wonder if your confession drove him away, sighing softly and feeling a bit of guilt filling you up as you turn back to your phone and try to distract yourself.

“Who would’ve thought?..”

Rafe found himself repeatedly looking through your photos on your social media, in disbelief that you were on Kildare Island with him. And it pissed him off knowing how close you were with Maybank, seeing the many pictures of the two of you together.

If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve assumed you two were together.

But how has he never seen you before..? He’s practically grown up with JJ yet he can’t seem to recall ever seeing someone like you around.

Surely he’d remember someone so fucking attractive.. his thumb can’t seem to swipe away from your bikini photos.

Before he could admire any more, Topper sends him a text.

‘Bro, were you watching the link I sent you? Holy shit, she’s so hot. What I wouldn’t give to get a chance to fuck her.’

Rafe scoffs at the text as he rolls his eyes. Of course he noticed Topper's user donating money to your stream as well. Topper was really irritating sometimes. It seems all he could care about was sex and money. You definitely seemed like the type of person who was very sweet, innocent and pure.. someone who he could easily destroy and corrupt from how petite you were, as he hovers over you and slowly travels his hands down to your cunt, the same pussy you were rubbing just yesterday and—

“What the fuck?”

Rafe lets out a shaky breath, catching himself and his thoughts, unaware of his hardened cock in his tight jeans, the desperation to be freed evident from how painful it was becoming.

He brings his hand down and palms himself for a moment, doing anything to relieve himself before he grunts and pulls his hand away. There was no way he was going to be jerking off to someone he didn’t even know existed until now.

“Shit, I need some fucking air.” And despite the restricting pain of his jeans against his cock, he swipes his keys off his desk and heads out, taking his bike on a ride.

"Ugh, so damn stubborn." JJ plops down on his couch, dragging a hand over his face as he inhales heavily. He pulls out his phone and finds himself scrolling through social media. The blonde was sitting at home, frustrated at your insistence to keep streaming. Surely you made enough to cover rent for the next month or so, so why did you want to keep streaming for everyone to see?

It fills him to the brim with jealousy. No one should be looking at you in that way. Much less, a particular kook.

Shit, he was so distracted by you that he forgot what happened during your stream. "Fucking Cameron.. the nerve of that bastard." He scowls, conflicted about what to be more annoyed at. You continuing to stream or Rafe Cameron being one of your viewers.

“Delivery!”

Pounding on the door snaps JJ from his thoughts as he looks up from his phone, thumb instinctively shutting off the device to hide the fact that he was sifting through the photos of you two together. “Comin’!”

With a sigh, the blonde runs a hand through his hair as he makes his way out of his room towards the door. He opens the front door to see a familiar man behind the screen and he feigns a smile. “Rich, always a pleasure.”

Growing up on Kildare meant a lot of the residents knew each other, including the delivery man, who had a mutual disliking towards JJ, grimacing at the sight.

But JJ merely just shares a playful grin. “It wouldn’t kill you to smile, y’know. Afraid you’ll get wrinkles?” He jokes and the man rolls his eyes. “Shut it, Maybank. You’re lucky I don’t throw your damn package in the ocean.”

JJ gasps at that, widening his eyes childishly. “Well, that’s not very environmentally friendly!” He laughs as he takes the box from his hands. “But anyway, what the hell is this? I didn’t order anything.”

“Well, it’s not my problem now.” Rich hands over the device and pen for JJ’s signature. JJ fiddles with the box, inspecting it curiously before taking the device to sign. “What is it?”

Grunting in annoyance, the delivery man swipes the device from Jj’s hands. “The fuck should I know? Piss off, Maybank.”

Scoffing at the rudeness, JJ turns around and kicks the door shut with his foot before walking over to the counter in the kitchen. He finally sees the address line on the box and recognizes his house address but the name piques his interest.

“[Name]?” He murmurs, confusion lacing his eyes as he pulls out his phone. “Must’ve forgot to change it from last time..” He taps along the screen before reaching your contact.

« [Nickname] / Princess 😘😍 »

Out of curiosity, as he’s typing away a message, he goes over to a drawer and pulls out a pocket knife before heading back over to the package. It must've been the package you had ordered earlier.

‘Hey, a package came to my house with your name on it. Think it got sent here by mistake. Want me to drop it off?’

Once sent, JJ sets aside his phone and cuts through the top of the box with ease, expecting it to be some clothes or such you bought for yourself.

But the item inside was completely unexpected.

JJ’s mouth becomes dry as he attempts to wet it by swallowing whatever he could as he looks inside.

Inside the box was a remote controlled, vibrating toy.

“D-Did she buy this for her next stream..?” JJ breathily exhales, his jaw clenching at the way his hardening cock twitches at the imagination of you rubbing the vibrating wand over your clit, and the possible lewd noises you’d illicit.

“Fuck..” Maybe another stream couldn’t hurt. He was conflicted. He couldn’t let you do this on camera, but he’d be damned if the thought didn’t excite him. His mind reverts back to your words.

‘“I kinda liked the attention..”

“Y-You liked showing off your body?”

“Yeah..”’

JJ clears his throat as he closes back up the box, finding a roll of tape in his drawer and securing it back up before setting it somewhere else for you.

As he sets it down, his phone buzzes from a text from you.

‘DON’T OPEN IT JJ! I’ll come by and pick it up soon’

JJ grunts at the message and exhales sharply, turning off his phone. “Too late..” He mutters under his breath.

“Thanks, J. I’ll try and stop by later tonight. Need anything while I’m out?” You take the box from his hands, JJ seemingly uncharacteristically avoiding your direct gaze. Regardless, he shakes his head as he clears his throat, leaning against the doorframe as he crosses his arms. “Hey- So, you’re streaming today?”

You carry the box towards your car, visibly relieved to see it untouched and smile lightly before turning to JJ. “Yeah, why? You gonna try and talk me out of it again?”

“No-! No-“ He clears his throat again when he realizes his outburst and awkwardly scratches the back of his head. “Uh, just- good luck, y’know. I’m sure it’ll be great. And hey- we can reschedule tonight if you’re not feeling up to it.”

You set the box on the bottom of your car in the back and furrow your brows at his words. “Thanks. But we’ll see. I should be able to come over on time if I’m not busy, but i’ll let you know.”

“Of course.” The blonde manages a smile, sending you finger guns before he waves you off. “Drive safe.”

Entering your car, you wave goodbye before pulling out and driving towards the Yacht Club, on the border of the Cut and Figure Eight.

“Dude, you should’ve watched til the end of the stream. It was amazing.”

Topper’s voice is heard when Rafe Cameron steps onto the large dock, walking past various other patrons on the benches and tables, and stepping up to the bar where Topper and Kelce stood.

Kelce shakes his head at Topper’s gushing. “Nah, man, streamers aren’t my thing. I mean, why would I spend so much on some girl i don’t even know and won’t even get to touch.” Kelce notices Rafe approaching and nods at him in acknowledgment. “Hey, you agree with me right?”

“Agree with what?” Rafe says as he stands beside them and Topper scoffs lightly. “You watched the link I sent you right? God, she’s so hot. You should’ve seen what she did before she ended her stream. I bet she’s streaming again today.”

Rafe barely manages to hide his eye roll, his hands clenching into fists. If he was holding a glass, he was almost sure he’d crack it. Something in him stirred the more Topper talked about you, and it made him angry. He had to maintain his self control before he punched the shit out of him.

But it made Rafe confused. Why was he so angry every time Topper opened his stupid fucking mouth? He had the exact same thoughts about you.

Was it because another man was talking about you? It wasn’t like you were his. He hardly even knew you. Is it jealousy?

Tch. Rafe Cameron, jealous? He hasn’t felt jealous since years ago, when his then still alive father was always favoring his sister over him. Rafe Cameron was not jealous.

He barely pays attention to Kelce and Topper, and instead catches a familiar voice nearby.

“Thanks, Sofia. It was actually more helpful than I thought, so thanks for telling me about it.”

“No problem, [Name]. I actually watched it last night, you were great.” Her playful wink makes you laugh a bit bashfully and embarrassingly as you wave it off. “I’m still a bit shy but I think what I bought today will help me a little more this time.”

Sofia slides something across the counter for you and you send a grateful smile as you pick it up. “Thanks. Good luck with the rest of your shift. I should be free this weekend if you’re down to hang out.”

“Actually, this weekend was when I was planning to stream.” She says apologetically and you only grin at her. “I’ll be watching you then. I could learn a thing or two.”

You both share giggles with one another before she’s called somewhere else and waves goodbye to you. You wave farewell and take the item off the counter before turning away.

But as soon as you do so, you meet eyes with someone, who’s staring intensely at you with parted lips, almost like they couldn’t believe you were standing before them.

Giving an awkward smile, you pull yourself away from the counter and turn to leave, heading back to your car.

“Time to go.”

a/n : so ima be honest, i didn’t fully watch every episode of obx, so idk how completely accurate the places are and the availability of pogues being able to just enter these establishments, so im changing it up to just being, whoever’s got the money can come in, even though im sure a lot of country clubs and such are invitations only.

anyhoo hoped you all enjoyed! i’m actually tryna figure out how to get more involvement with Rafe and how to get him introduced- like should he walk up to her or dm her orrr ya. any suggestions would be lovely!! <3

spoiler : i have a plan to invite one of them on stream or one to practice off camera ;)

AH SHIT I POSTED WITHOUT THE TAGS CAN PPL SEE THIS PLS

taglist : @haruvalentine4321 @lilithblackkk @sleepiibunniiii @kiiyomei @mariamadison6-blog @livinobx @doesnt-care

unedited nor proofread.

[mrcrawly]

Jayvik headcanons

hello jayvik nation im dumping these here bc im almost done with the second chapter of my fic and these have been stewing a while

Viktor

has the most beautiful curly calligraphy handwriting ever but it's so curly and fancy you genuinely can't read it

Ibuprofen allergy. source: my twisted mind

fidgeting with stuff all the time. paperclips, pencils, clips, rubber bands, the buttons on his vest

bonus to that one: he messes with his vest buttons so much that Jayce is constantly having to sew them back on when they come off

chronic nail biter

big sweet tooth

great cook but a shitty baker

"get even" kind of person; probably holds grudges from the second grade

doesn't cry very often but can be sensitive in the sense that he cares very much how his closest friends view him and internalizes their opinions

love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service

likes to be touched but not held (autism)

hates winter because it makes his joints hurt, summer is unbearably hot and he can't stand it, he has spring allergies; default fall enjoyer

animals really like him and strays tend to show up at the lab or follow him around

children like Viktor. Viktor doesn't like children back

kids will sometimes randomly talk to him and tell him things in public and he doesn't have the heart to be mean to them or ignore them so he just sits there like "mhm ☺️" while they talk until their parents apologize and walk off

probably has a pet reptile (a turtle or some kind of lizard methinks)

cold natured and wears seven hundred billion blankets to bed every night no matter the season

identifies as male in the sense that he was born a man and just never bothered to think much about it but doesn't fully grasp the concept or purpose of gender. could tell you what makes a man a man or what makes a woman a woman but doesn't understand why nor care

interested in jayce from the beginning but never felt as if he was in competition with Mel

sorry they can pry the JayMelVik love triangle out of my cold dead hands ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

not very affectionate because he doesn't know how to discuss his own feelings but very good at soothing other people

Jayce

dysgraphia (i think that's the term?) – not many issues with reading but not the best with writing

viktor is hyperlexic so it works out alright

AMAZING at drawing. like if he didn't have the passion for science he would be an artist. he draws out all their diagrams and blueprints and Viktor labels them

can cook pretty well but doesn't like to do it; if he stays at Viktor's place then Viktor always cooks for him

likes baking because he controls every single thing that goes in and it's very exact

both he and Viktor have chronic pain in their hands (carpal tunnel) from spending all their time taking notes and working with small delicate parts

he doesn't complain about his even when it bothers him because it feels silly knowing how bad Viktor's pain is every day 💔💔💔💔

10,000 step haircare routine but Viktor's looks better anyway

used to be prone to acne as a teen (if accutane existed in arcane he would have been an accutane kid)

(i was an accutane kid and im projecting)

shaved regularly pre-hexcore because his father had facial hair and he looks a lot like his dad anyway; he was always a little worried if he grew it out it would remind Ximena too much of his dad and make her sad

took entire days off of work and pushed deadlines back when Viktor got bad just so he could stay with him when Viktor was in too much pain to do practically anything

used to deliberately sleep in the lab because Viktor would stay late and he didn't want Viktor to be alone in case he passed out or something happened

love languages are physical touch, gift giving, and quality time

money doesn't exist to him when he's buying other people things. can't do secret santas at Christmas bc he constantly exceeds the budget

simultaneously one of those people who legitimately cannot accept gifts and feels bad when people give him things

was genuinely so in love with Mel; used to have dreams about marrying her and living somewhere quiet with her

most definitely forgave her for manipulating him on the council and understood her but it was just never the same

bottom. argue with the wall

OUGHHHH my shayla 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

guess my favorite character challenge level impossible (it's so unbelievably obvious)

[seat-safety-switch]

Have you ever noticed how much a single home appliance can improve your life? I'm not talking about like Roombas, or bagel slicers, or even pressure washers. No, I'm talking about the machine we all know and love: the humble sandblaster.

To be able to nip out to the work area and spend a few minutes completely stripping a piece? Way better than blowing an entire afternoon on sanding it down, or even waiting for what passes for paint stripper these days to get around to making the stuff a little bit gummy. Pays for itself, really, and then you can get back to what you really care about: maybe welding, or brazing, or even spending time with your family, showing them how to use the sandblaster to make their dreams come true.

You might not think you're the kind of person who needs a sandblaster. "I hardly ever have to remove coatings from things," I hear you say. The truth of the matter is, you'll find a reason to use it. Maybe you want to get into repainting Hot Wheels, so you can give them to orphans? What a noble use of your sandblaster, good thing you have one. Trust me, you might as well go right to the store and pick it up.

I'll make you a deal. If you buy one right now, I'll come on over and teach you how to use it. I've got this diff cover that just will not come clean, it's all soaked in oil, nasty job. Perfect for a trial by fire. Hell, if you hurry, and you have some good beer in the fridge, maybe I'll even let you run the machine for me. How can you say no?

[bitsandbobsfromrandomfandoms]

Harry and Ginny's relationship always seemed very shallow to me. It just didn't seem like they had enough substance between them to end up married.

I even think that Harry had more in his interactions with Luna than with Ginny. Such as how he invited her to Slughorn's party, regretted it and then turned around and had a great time with her. I personally loved how she recognized him even when he was polyjuiced in DH by his facial expression 🤣

The point is, even before I saw the very real possibility of Harry/Draco, I didn't buy Harry/Ginny as a couple and it took me a long time to figure out why.

In fiction, there is this trope called the "cool girl" and it is often contrasted with a "needy, hypersensitive, ultra-feminine uncool girl". There is an excellent deconstruction of this trope here.

In OotP, Cho, from her perspective, had every reason to be traumatized and emotional but this was off-putting to Harry. Ginny was literally written to be the opposite of Cho, she's the "cool girl" to Cho's "uncool girl". In DH, Harry even says he likes that she's rarely weepy and he thinks having 6 brothers toughened her up.

People like Ginny from the books but when you stop to think about it, she comes off more as a one-dimensional caricature than a character. She's basically the cool girl trope to a T and she and Harry don't talk about any of the heavy emotional things. All of that stuff just remains unsaid between them and honestly, that is not something to want in a marriage.

When you have been through some bad shit in your life and you're in a committed relationship, you'll be awfully surprised how much effort you have to go to, to talk about that stuff because all the bad things you bury rears its ugly head and affects the relationship.

What I don't get, is that there was so much time to rectify this. It's like Harry didn't really start to notice Ginny existed until the 6th book even though he's been spending the summer with her family almost every year and she's in same house as him. We don't know anything about her, we get "she's pretty, great at quidditch, they're dating and Harry's happy" 🙄

They dated for about 3 months when Harry was 16! And he broke up with her to go Horcrux-hunting. You really expect me to believe they ended up married? And not to put a finer point on it, but even when this sort of thing happens in real life, it's rare! This is dumb. It's giving that stunted view of love that people have when they're teenagers where you meet someone at 16 and you stay with them forever.

At best Harry/Ginny seems like a dead-end kind of love where there is no possibility for change or growth and at worse, they might not be good for each other at all. This could have been avoided altogether if she was developed as a character.

I keep thinking about the fact that hinny is kind of the opposite of drarry in the sense that Harry really shouldn't know that much about Draco but he does, while he should know a lot about Ginny but he doesn't.

Harry and Draco aren't friends and aren't even in the same House but Harry is so attuned to him that he remembers items Draco looked at in a shop more than 4 years previously, knows every detail of his appearance down to the exact shade of his eyes and skin, and can recognize him instantly just by the sound of his footsteps or a glimpse of him from far away. He also knows a lot about Draco's interests and beliefs and can usually tell his exact mood just by a look at his face.

Conversely, Harry and Ginny are in the same House and Harry has also spent every summer since second year living with her, plus holidays during 5th and 6th year. They also start dating in the end of sixth year. Despite this fact Harry has never even been in her room till 7th year and when he goes in, he shows no sign of recognition at the posters he sees there. You'd think, for example, that he would already know that she likes the Harpies and the Weird Sisters and thus think about how of course she has that in her room, or something. Who are her friends? Who knows? Certainly not Harry! What kind of wand does she have? Harry doesn't know. (Even though he does know both of these things about Draco). What does she want to do after graduating? How did she handle the trauma of what happened with Riddle in book 2? Does she have any insights from that that could be helpful? No idea. Harry's doesn't care and isn't interested in finding out.

Honestly, when he thinks of her it's mostly about her physical features. And even then, her eye color only gets mentioned once - in book 7, and we still don't get the specific shade. I'll buy that he feels lust for her. But love? Honestly I find myself once again thinking about the parallels between hinny and ron/lavender.

Consider:

Versus:

Kinda sounds like both the relationships being described are light on the talking side of things...

Also guess what the first thing Harry does after kissing Ginny, the alleged love of his life is? If you guessed "looks lovingly into her eyes" or "says something to her" you'd be wrong. Here's what goes down:

That's right guys, gals and nonbinary pals. He looks right over the top of Ginny's head (and isn't that a metaphor for their relationship right there - he's literally overlooking her to think about other stuff) to check in with Ron. His actual priority - the person whose opinion and regard he actually cares about.

[erinwantstowrite]

Hi I know you mentioned you being aroace just a couple days ago and I was wondering if maybe you could explain more in depth about how you found out your sexuality and what not? If it’s not too personal…

I’ve always sorta struggled since I haven’t had any crushes as a kid except for maybe one and that’s just cause ppl kept asking me who mine was… so I don’t even think it was a legit crush?? So not only do I not know who (looks,gender, that sorta thing) I would like … am I ever gonna like someone to even find that out???

I know you said Superman on the new trailer was hot ahaha so do you still experience that sort of physical attraction? I’ve been told when people question which gender they like, to pick which one looks more attractive to them but I’ve never really experienced that sort of physical attraction so I can’t tell that way either…

I think any thought of a crush forming was more towards their personality as well. Looks I guess are more of a second thought I think..? Even then I can’t tell if this is “you’re such an awesome person I wanna be besties with you” really strong feeling or an actual “I wanna date this person” feeling.

The only person I’ve gotten really close to discerning it as officially crush was someone from work who was older by a good amount… which can be/is pretty weird.. Lots of people my age are just a little too crazy for me.. I guess??? Idk and even now I can’t tell if that was just “glad to have someone as a friend sorta thing. I’m really sorry if this is too personal and u don’t have to respond to the ask directly either I was just hoping on maybe some advice for some clarity if possible… as I get older and realize I’ve never dated/had that sorta infatuation it feels so excluding at times.

Also I am hoping for a feast AND desert with this “‘soon’ but still haven’t posted it two days later” chapter plz and thank you

I hope this made sense and wasn’t too invasive!! :(

when i was younger, i was reading about this kind of thing online and i didn't find anyone like me. i think it's about time that i come full circle and make my own post. i've got like half of my frontal lobe developed and i've been figuring out a lot of things about myself these past couple of years, and there might be someone out there who needs to hear this (´-`ʃ♡ƪ) so if anyone is interested, below the cut is a very long talk about how i figured some stuff out

when it came to my sexuality, i only started considering it when i was in middle school, going into high school. (which would be when i was 12-13). that's when a lot of my friends started having crushes on our classmates and i realized they were being serious when they said they had crushes on people. they had figured out their identities as being a lesbian or bisexual, and they had relationships. (or as close as you can get to that in middle school).

i started to panic and think that i was lagging behind. and i really started to repress my feelings about dating people and romance and what that would entail. i found out through the internet about being pansexual. at the time i thought "oh, they have the same attraction for everyone!" and i slapped it on myself because i thought it would fix everything. i even came out to my parents as pansexual and for a while i left it at that.

i had an idea of romance. i shipped characters in media and i knew that my parents really loved each other. there were a lot of examples for love in my life that weren't the best, but having two parents that actually did care about each other made me want that for myself in the future...

but that's in the future. i personally didn't think about it much because we were still kids. for a while i didn't think anyone else was being serious, that they were just trying it out quicker than i was ready for. it was a strange feeling. i guess i still believed we were playing make believe, or copying what we saw on TV or with our parents. often when my friends asked me who i had a crush on and i felt pressured, i would pick someone that i thought i wouldn't mind dating if i had to. someone would be "interested" in me and i would say "okay" because i felt like that was part of this game we all seemed to be playing. i've had a few "boyfriends" over the years that got people off my back when i had them. in elementary school it was this boy that didn't pick on me, another boy that was my parents' friend's kid. in middle school i had an online boyfriend and a couple of "crushes" on friends of friends, someone just a little far out of my circle that didn't shake anything up. my friends would help me get together with a person and they'd seem so excited for me, so i just went along with it.

then it hit me that they weren't doing it just to do it, or playing pretend. they actually felt something when they were interacting with their crushes. i started to reread books and rewatch media and really grasp what they were saying. the feeling of having butterflies inside them when they talked to each other, blushing when something was said? i thought that was about a general anxiety people get when talking to other people. but there was always something more to it that i just... didn't get. no matter how hard i tried, i didn't understand what that something was.

then started coming the pressure to do the same, to fit in. that's why i accepted a label of pansexual. it was "strange" but at least it didn't feel "broken." i could deal with people telling me that i was wrong for liking more than just boys. but to say that there was no one on the table gave me an anxiety i'd never felt before. like i would be letting down my family, that the entire course of my life would shift. i wouldn't walk down the aisle because there would be no wedding. my parents wouldn't have grandkids. my friends would go on to have lives completely separate from mine, we'd have nothing in common anymore. so i stuffed it all down and made myself believe that this wasn't who i was.

it really mixed me up because i did have a couple of "crushes" that felt real. there were a few girls i was friends with, there were boys in my classes (usually class clowns...) that i'd get excited to see every day. when i thought about dating them, it felt nice. any other time when i thought about dating someone, i'd get this awful feeling in my gut that i later realized was dread. i was fully convinced it was different from all the other times. that "different" that i didn't understand before.

it was different! but not for the reason i thought it was. those people made me laugh, they listened and remembered things about me (that i didn't get much of during that time of my life), and most of all: they didn't like me back.

there were literally no expectations in their eyes for things to go away from friendship. and i think that's what made me like them, but not as a crush. it was relief. there was always an expectation for other people (specifically boys) that if we were friends, things would stray from friendship at some point. not with these people. that relief, combined with all the other good feelings they gave me (class clowns...) made it so much easier to fall into a friendship that i didn't have with other people. and i was in denial for so long that i thought of those friendships as crushes because they were different from other friendships.

there were a couple of times that i got close to having to face my sexuality and it felt like a gut punch. there were a couple of people i was friends with (that i didn't have crushes on) that i had previously thought "if i had to pick someone" about. but when they actually told me their feelings, i would run away. in one case, i literally ran away. i changed my entire routine so that i wouldn't have to face them. and i'm a creature of habit, so of course i took that step back and asked myself why i was having such a strong reaction. my friends didn't understand why i was so panicked about these confessions. especially because before, i "liked" people and had no problem with it.

part of my feelings were that no one would actually like me (which only furthered me not wanting/not considering romance). some of the confessions that i got were fake/pranks, and it would really mess with my head. i wasn't skinny, i knew i was strange and awkward, and i could be very brash and stubborn. i had a weird sense of humor and i missed social ques. i got a lot of "you should be a lawyer" and complaints of being bossy when i was growing up and i always knew they really meant "you're a bitch." i wouldn't understand why i felt so othered from my peers like that until i learned i was possibly autistic, and i only found that out a couple years ago. combined with being plus sized and not conventionally attractive, i didn't get much breathing room. if i wasn't perfectly calm all the time, if i didn't force myself to be overly nice to people, and if i wasn't funny, i'd get told i was "draining" to be around.

i did a lot to try and fit in. i kept my hair long because people would compliment it, i tried to wear skirts instead of pants/shorts, i'd wear comfy clothes and the like so i didn't look like i was trying too hard. a lot of my personality was forced and i was the one who was being drained instead. i ended up having to get a radar for when people were just messing with me. and so when a real confession happened, there was a combination of anxiety about if they were faking or not, doubt that they could actually like me, and then a deep rooted fear about if they were being serious.

instead of the relief i should have felt when i learned it was a real confession, i still felt scared. it would be the same anxiety as if someone asked me to get on the world's tallest roller coaster in the world and i had just seen a chunk of the roller coaster fall in front of me.

that part made it even harder to come to grips with my sexuality. i thought if i gave up on being a hopeless romantic, i'd be giving in to all the times someone told me "I just don't see you dating anyone." being unlovable was a death sentence in my eyes. and it didn't help that i've lived in the south all my life. i was already strange and going to hell for a multitude of things. turning around and telling them that i was going against every expectation set of me to get married and have kids by 24????

(i should clarify that my parents had never been the ones to put this in my mind. when i came out as pansexual, they had only been confused about what the hell that was. the rest of their reaction was "i mean... we could already sort of tell." and while my parents had hopes for my future, i knew deep down that while they'd be a little sad not to have those expected memories with me, they wouldn't turn me away. and they would very likely be happy to create a whole different set of memories with me.)

i have my current friends to thank for me coming to terms with who i am. by the time i was in college i had started to question everything. my middle school friend group had been majority queer but we had gone to different schools or just faded apart. in high school, a majority of my time was spent in band. and while i was one of those people who had friends in a variety of friend groups, the closest friends i had were the people in my section that i sat next to every day. and in the present time, only a couple of them remained straight churchgoers. even though they've changed now just like i have, during high school i was a different story.

going to college opened me up to a far different experience. by this point i'd shifted from pansexual to bisexual. my college experience wasn't... ideal. or really healthy in any aspect. but meeting these people did dislodge the mindset i'd had for most of my life. and my current friends have changed my life. the fear that i had about being aromantic has now become the relief i needed my entire life. it doesn't feel broken, or wrong, or strange. sometimes i do feel sad about it, or question if this is really the case. maybe one day i'll meet someone who shows me that "different" feeling i'd been waiting to understand. but i grew past the societal expectation of needing a partner to be fulfilled in life and i'm so much happier.

life doesn't need to be about that partner. i have many, many friends and family to grow old with. i have a godchild!! one day i'll have my own house to celebrate holidays and achievements at, to host my friends and family. i'll have pets that i love and i'll have my own career, and i'll be happy because i never needed to fit expectations to be happy.

when it comes to anything sexual, it's sort of the same feeling as when i had "crushes" on people in real life. though also different? i don't look at real people and feel an attraction beyond knowing that they are attractive, objectively. i can feel attraction sometimes in a physical sense, but i have no interest in having anything personal happening between us. a fictional character has no interest in me, and so it feels safe to think that they're hot and to express it. like sure, yeah, i have a crush on them! i get giggly when Captain Smoker from One Piece shows up on the screen, and the new Superman makes me think "oh! okay!" but if they were real and in front of me? i'd probably... lose that attraction, like it was never there.

here's the kicker, though, and might sound weird at first: you don't have to put a label on yourself

yeah, i do consider myself aroace. but the world is ever changing and so is the human experience. it helps to have a basis, to understand your feelings and work through them. it's nice to be like "there is a name for this" and to find a community through that. i'm not saying there's anything wrong about figuring out your identity and saying "I'm this, this, and this!" nothing at all wrong with that. but we're all figuring ourselves out, all the time. it doesn't end when you put the label on. you have the entire rest of your life to continue learning things about yourself and the world around you. i wish i'd known in middle school that i didn't have to rush it, that i have every opportunity to take it one phase at a time. a human life seems fleeting, especially when you're looking back on your past and feeling like the time flew by. but that's just our perception of it as we look back.

what i mean to say it that it's okay to backtrack. it's okay to change your mind. it's okay to not put a label on it. it's okay to put a label on it. it's okay not to tell anyone, if you don't want to. it's okay to say "i'll figure it out." and it's okay if you don't. it's okay if you sit up in bed one day when you're 60 years old and go "that's what it is." as long as you live your life listening to yourself and not trying to meet an expectation you think you have to, then you're doing it right.

and it's okay if you lived your life like i did, and you didn't do any of that. being a human is messy and that's part of life. you're not gonna get it right the first time- but even then, sometimes you will! there's a nuance and a spectrum to everything you experience. take pride in who you are even if you don't have a clue yet. be kind to yourself. you're gonna be okay.

[tsukii0002]

Mc and Luke have gone to get some stuff to continue celebrating the new year in the House of the Lamentations.

Luke: Hey Mc, don't you think a new year is kind of scary?

Mc: What do you mean Luke?

Luke: I never thought about this before coming to Devildom…. but things can change a lot in a single year…

Mc: *sighing* Yes, things in a year can change a lot, we don't know where we're going to be next year.

Luke: *looking at the ground* To have things that make me feel secure end or think that something I love is never going to be the same again… makes me feel insecure.

Mc: …

Luke: In a way… a new year is scary, I'm scared that the world I'm so happy in will be totally different, *looking at Mc* that my relationships… my relationship with you won't be the same.

Silence fell between them

Mc: *smiling* The new year is like a symbolism really, everything can change any time Luke, just because we enter a new year doesn't mean everything hasn't changed before.

Luke: That's true.

Mc: And change isn't always bad… sometimes it's scary and can make us anxious, but things come to an end and there's nothing we can do about it.

Luke: I know…

Mc: But, they also start, great things can begin, or they don't end and simply transform *placing their hand on the angel's shoulders* changes are part of our life and we have to learn to live with them.

Luke: But what if we change? what if we are no longer the way we were and… and we can't be together anymore?

Mc: Then, I will make an effort to get to know you again and to be your friend again, change doesn't mean forgetting, and if it's so important we can try that, with us, our relationship can transform.

Luke: *with crystalline eyes, making a little pout* I will also try my best to make you always love me Mc, even if you become an angel or a demon.

Mc: *smiling* Thank you Luke *hugging him* sometimes we worry so much about what's to come or what we can't change, that we don't see what we can do now.

Luke: *hugging them back harder* You're right Mc… if we only worry about the future we can never be happy.

Mc: You're right Luke, that happens to us a lot *leaving him and holding out their hand* now, we should get back, they've all taken too much Demonus to leave them unsupervised.

Luke: That's right, *taking their hand* we'd better hurry.

The two walked back on their way to the House of the Lamentations.

Mc: By the way Luke… has anyone said anything to you about this New Year's thing?

Luke: Solomon started talking about how little a year has always meant to him and how much it means now… he was actually laughing a lot, but it got me thinking about a lot of things.

Mc: Got it, no more human drinks at parties, noted.

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Well, well, happy new year to all of you!!! 🎉🎉I hope you have started 2025 on the right foot and, as they say, I hope this year brings you only good things. Although we all know that almost never happens, in one year life can change a lot, to unsuspected points. When I started 2024 I never thought that Obey me! would end (I know it is only the official content of the game, not the franchise, but you know), although it is one of the things that has helped me to pass a not very good year for me, but life goes on, and just as things that we do not like can also come good things can come. Regarding a purpose for this new year in this blog well, keep creating content, create more complex stories about these characters that I love so much and focus more on world building and solve the mysteries that have been left open in the Devildom (now that everything is in our hands), work more on my Mc and draw a lot, a lot. Just as I hope to continue to see the Obey me! fandom alive and creating as many wonderful things as it has been so far, even more.

So, after this badge, it only remains for me to wish you a happy new year! And the wish that things will only get better for everyone.

Thanks for this year 🩷, a hug from this sheep in hell.

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