#i love rewatching but i also like to watch it for the first time again
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omg thank you so much for tagging!! i adore this kind of interactive 🥰
last song i listened to: Living in a Fantasy by BWO (well…. actually, I've been listening to it on repeat for three days now.. it's the only thing I can listen to now.. my head hurts like hell and i need to distract myself from it.. and I've also had an obsession with this musical group for 15 years.. i love their music more than anything in the world..)
favorite color: navy blue! also all shades blue-gray, light gray colour and black & white 🤍🩶🖤
last book i finished: unfortunately it was Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen from "Vorkosigan Saga" and i don't like it at all, but one of my friends was obsessed with it and i give it a try (imho it was most boring 15 books I've ever read..) and now i'm reading again my beloved novel Bleak House by Charles Dickens..
last show i watched: …. Lexx TV series…. i wanna k!ll myself.. i hate it /j
sweet/salty/savory: salty, i don't like sweet and savory..
relationship status: single (i don't know if it counts.. one of my friends had platonic crush on me..)
most recent google search: moscow fashion week 2004 photos.. not even ask me why.. (i search it for very personal reasons..)
current obsession: …… help i got Lexx brainrot……. /j honestly i like this weird silly tv show and my obsession with it.. it so bad in every possible way.. especially when first time i watch it i was like a 6 years old..
[this vibe >>>> everything else]
looking forward to: i wanna finish my university project and spent weekend with my grandma. (also i want to sleep for all eternity..) now i think to rewatch Lexx with my friend irl, he also like this show.. and he's getting a new vinyl records soon, so if we both can find a couple of free hours we'll listen to music together.. a very simple dream but it's nice if i can just to do nothing several days.. my life mostly pretty miserable and theres nothing interesting going on.
tagging: umm.. i dont really want to tag anyone butttt @tylerpendragon @geears @elias-bouchard-apologist @kolchaksgold @disperatoamadeo and anyone who wants to join go ahead!
10 people i’d like to get to know better
Tagged by @poetichibiscus ! 👋 Thankssss it's fun getting to know people on here
last song i listened to: other than the lo fi beats i'm listening to at work, I think it was either Gucci Gucci by Kreayshawn or Can't Sit With Us by Honey C. They're part of my "hype up on the way to work" playlist, lmao
favorite color: purple all the way!
last book i finished: ohhhh man i'm not sure. i have a terrible, terrible habit of starting books and not finishing them. i THINK the last book i actually finished was a re-read of Venus in Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, and that was a while ago. Last book I started wassssssss either the Gottfried or Thomas of Britain version of the Tristan & Isolde romance (I kinda been bopping back and forth between them like an animal)...
last show i watched: slkfhalksd i think it was Yu-Gi-OH! VRAINS. i haven't had time to sit and watch a show in a while, either 😅
sweet/salty/savory: savoryyyyyyyyyyyyyy
relationship status: single and oh lord i have no idea how to mingle h el p
most recent google search: "can you buy me tampons text meme" <- important search
current obsession: the embarrassing obsession with disney's pocahontas is still ongoing. tbh, when you've gone out of your way to buy a laserdisc player because you needed to hear the commentary track found only on the 1996 special edition and nowhere else (bc you've scoured the internet for it and found NOTHING) there's probably no going back. incidentally, i think i'm gonna get into archiving media once i've made time to hunt down some more interesting laserdiscs to justify my impulse purchase with. (and if anyone wants a copy of that commentary track btw i made an mp3 of it all you gotta do is ask. just sayin'. just so you know.)
looking forward to: getting through this paralegal program so i can get a raise and maybe also upgrade apartments bc that would be Nice
Tagging: @subway-dove @anisaanisa @iveneverbeenmorestressedinmylife @elephantlovemedleys @t3acupz @mandoratheevilchaser @devilatelier @spacedewey @intrinsicallydisordered @ithinkimaperson and anyone else who wanna 👍
#tag game#щитпост#+ я невероятно счастлива что наконец-то вспомнила пароль от тамблера и снова могу тут обитать!!#файнали все оуэнто посты будут залайканы <3
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do i want to watch a new show? no. i want a yellowjackets that i have never seen before but that is the exact same. i wanna get hit by a car and then lose all memory from 2020 onwards so i can watch it all over again for the first time
#i love rewatching but i also like to watch it for the first time again#the horrible truth about life is that for this to happen you need like 6 years of repressing everything abt the show#learned that when i rewatched the 100 (2 seasons and a half lol) and BARELY remembered Anything#but lingering attachment to characters stayed#beautiful experience i will be chasing forever
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I've been rewatching the first two seasons of The Bear so I can watch the third season that just came out and man the character writing in this show makes me froth at the mouth it's like some of the best arcs I've ever seen in a TV series
#little infodump in the tags bc no one I know is watching this show so I need to spill all my thoughts somewhere LOL#Richie is my favorite he makes me go ballistic especially in the episode Forks#just rewatched that episode and it always makes me cry when he has his moment where he finally Gets it#he's such a shit stain of a guy I would probably hate him if I knew him in real life lmfao but as a character he is so fantastically writte#I also really love Marcus but he hasn't had as big of a development as Richie has#Sydney is awesome but she's. so much like me in the way where I cringe at her sometimes LMAO#when she's acting super sarcastic and holier than thou I can't look directly at it it's too much like me when I'm at my worst DHF;LKDFH#god I hope Marcus and Sydney get together they are so cute#unusually good chemistry for a straight ship LOL /hj#I also love Tina but my only complaint with her is that I kinda wish her arc in the first season took a little more time#bc she started off as a real asshole just like all the characters did but she had a much more sudden switch#but I guess it makes sense for her now that I think about it bc she's shown to be a very sweet and compassionate person#it's just that she doesn't trust Sydney at first so once she gets over that then she's sweet with her too#excited to learn more about Ebra he reminds me a lot of an old coworker#also obvs no spoilers for season 3 please I haven't got there yet#lyla's talking again
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God... Steven Universe is so good
#el speaks#steven universe#I finally sat down and rewatched/caught up with it!#and finally watched the movie!#next... FUTURE!#I was still basically caught up with all of it but I wanted to see it all on order#I can't believe the first season was 52 episodes!!#I already know some stuff that happens in Future but I don't care#it's ok to still watch something even if you know things!#I was also fueled with spite to watch this because of... some random person no one has ever heard of at all that really hated this show..#and Rebecca Sugar for some unholy reason (gee thank goodness we don't know who that is at aaaallllll)#;)#seriously though if you don't like something or utterly despise it that's ok! just don't be a jerk about it! or flat out lie about it!!!#please and thank you!#I've learned... I guess you can say I changed? Huh? Get it! It's like that's the whole point of SU!#sorry for the mini rant#I've just always been a fan#but I never felt like I was a real or close enough fan because I couldn't always watch it... apparently I've kept up with it pretty well#I love this show so much#it really has inspired me (and one of my stories that I keep close to my heart)#seriously... it's a little shameless at times... if it wasn't for SU idk if I'd all these characters and story (maybe but just different)#sorry again just so nostalgic
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A big part of the Haikyuu rewatch is watching the characters interact and worrying that I fandomized their relationships too much in my head, particularly with the Karasuno first years because Hinata and Kags keep Yamaguchi and Tsukishima at arm’s length for so long. But then I remember. Oh wait the squad is literally Hinata’s phone background by the end of the story. You don’t put a picture of just some dudes in your after school club as your phone background.
#ane discovers character development takes time who wouldve thought#personally I think wthe change happens when Yachi and Tsuki start tutoring them#It’s around the time that there’s a shift in their bickering so that it’s more. ‘familial’ isnt the term I’m looking for but like#the kind of razzing you can only do with someone you know#Tsukishima for example starts bringing up specific things they studied together to dunk on Kageyama not remembering any of it#And another subtle thing I noticed- cause again I started going like ? did I fandomize my entire perception of Tadashi too much?#cause for the first season he doesn’t interact with ANYONE but Tsuki. Like practically not at all except to brag about Tsuki to others#But I have a sneaking suspicion that this starts to change around the time that he starts getting on the court more often as a pinch server#Probably because it gives him more courage#Cause I remember him having a lot to say in the Shiratorizawa match#and I remember him getting along with Yachi! So like I’m keeping an eye out for those changes#haikyuu!!#Also my favorite part about rewatching Haikyuu is how the reveal of Kag’s backstory really does affect. Your entire perception of him#Like I know its probably cause he’s my fav but I always feel so frustrated when people assume the worst of him and so sad that even Oikawa-#who knew him back when he was a very happy and shy kid- doesn’t even question why his personality had such a sudden shift#but then I realize that the only reason I’m so aware of these changed is because Kageyama has ‘opened up to me’ as an audience member befor#Furudate waited hundreds off chapters to tell us that he’s been grieving a loved onesince a little before the very first scene of the manga#So that it would feel like we earned it#Idk how to explain it like when you meet someone who’s hurting it takes a lot of effort and patience for them to tell you why#in the same way bc we stuck by the story for so long and watching Kageyama learn to be more open#we got the privilege of learning why he was closed off in the same place#but Kageyama didnt give anyone at his old school the chance to stick around- not Kindaichi or Kunimi or anyone#So it makes total sense#kageyama tobio#hinata shouyou#yamaguchi tadashi#tsukishima kei#yachi hitoka#karasuno first years#my post
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uh oh besties, it might be time for my (almost) annual Dishonored replay again
#this time ill probably play it in german#im always a little curious about german translations ngl#i also need to replay disco elysium in german one day#ive been watching my friend play and hes been using the switching the languages back and forth feature a lot#and honestly some of the things in the translation really intrigue me#they translated 'innocence' to 'Schuldreine' which is a choice and I honestly love it#they could have said 'Unschuldige' or just 'Unschuld' but 'Schuldreine' is so much better imo#bc its not the most immediately obvious choice of translation#whatever thats a ramble for another day#point is: I replay dishonored a lot bc - and this is maybe a little embarrassing -#i have this really convoluted af rwby and dishonored crossover AU that has been plaguing (hah) my mind since like?? 2020 or smth#and im always like alright lemme replay the games and rewatch the show so i can work on it#and then i always stop after replaying the first game haha it has become tradition to me at this point#bc i get embarrassed :( of my interests :( again :( *kicks rock*#yea yea i know unlearning shame and all that im working on it. anyways dont mind me im feeling chatty today
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the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.
he never was.
#ramblings#incoherent beyond belief its 4 am#and im trying to avoid manga spoilers#might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything#actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers#manga readers know whats up#idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet#but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so#cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO#which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away#but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound#him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder#trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others#hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him#he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS#ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be#his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything#which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk#like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him#but.#hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late#both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR#also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot#the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it#CRAZY#if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga#ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE
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I finished rewatching Our Flags Means Death yesterday bc I didnt remember much of it except that there were gay (AS FUCK) pirates in it (and by god was I right) but what my attention damaged little brain failed to remind me was how fucking gOOD IT IS??? LIKE???? HELLO????
#srsly tho#how good can a show be#it literally catters to everything that I ever WANTED and my brain was like 'yeah lets not remember this'#altho it kinda sucks it was also very good for me bc it felt like watching it for the first time(-ish <- bc every other scene I was like#'wait I know whats gonna happen next its X right? oh its gonna be fucken awesome' and then it DID happen but 10000 times better bc i didnt#remember the details#like (spoilers ahead):#the first time Stede meets Izzy he fuckin BESTS HIM ON SWORDFIGHT??? WHAT THE- I ONLY REMEMBERED IZZY WAS GOING TO APPEAR ON THIS EPISODE#THIS IS BETTER THAN I EXPECTED#also Ed realises hes in Love with Stede waaaaayy earlier than I remembered and Oh God The Pining And The Longing i live for it#AND THEIR KISS OMGJSMABDJANDJABD#ANYWAY#im going to rewatch it (again) when the 2nd season is closer#our flag means death#ofmd
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when i say. i audibly gasped. when i saw elektra!!! in deadpool and wolverine!!!! i fucking GASPED
#put my hands up over my mouth and everything#i was not expecting that AT ALL#always liked her and her movie#ngl never seen daredevil#i would only watch it for her#don’t like ben affleck though#but i do like the memes lmao#but yeah#deadpool and wolverine#fucking ROCKED#mmmmm#hugh jackman#as#wolverine#specifically#hot DAMN#fucking phenomenal#guardiangabtime#yeah i saw the movie today hahaha#what gave it away#might go again tomorrow ngl#SO fun#also rewatched the original x-men movie tonight for the first time in actual ages#hoooooly shit#saw a meme online that said yeah i watch x-men for the plot. the plot: [pic of logan in his tanktop]#yeah that about sums it up#he’s just sooooooo#i don’t wanna see him hurt but boy do i love to see him hurt. he heals right away usually so it’s fine…#he’s just literally SO FUCKING COOL#i’m just SWOONING. i love him sooooo much 😍😍😍
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cant believe how oblivious i was as a child to how messed up lizzie's childhood was
#crunchyposts#mcyt#ldshadowlady#rewatched a couple of old lizzie and joel vids for nostalgia and i was like i should watch the draw my life. and oh my god#i only realized like when i got into the life series and got more into mcyt again#how fucked up it was and i went to the comments and everyone was going through the same thing#anyways now im watching her imp and skizz pod episode#rewatching that draw my life did heal me a little bit now that im closer to the age she was when she filmed this#im assuming????? i was a Small Child when i first watched it i dont remember how old i was dont think about my age#i was posting about being in high school last year im young#but i also did go through a pretty. fucked time and her saying like you can get better#because of the bad things that happened or in spite of it????? who knows but i love doing stuff out of spite so either works
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one thing i’m really realizing about tv-watching lately is that i’m reaching a point where i can’t hold all these shows in my head. it takes so long to have a new season come out that i’ve forgotten all the details of what happened in the previous season unless it’s a show i’ve watched multiple times, which it’s usually not. then i feel like i’m doing wrong by the show by not rewatching the previous season(s) so i can watch the new one as the creators intended it to be watched, with all the emotional threads from the previous season getting picked up and returned to. like, i want those things to HIT the way they’re intended to, but usually they don’t for me in this tv-watching model because it’s been so long that i don’t remember the details of what’s going on or how i was feeling about everything going on on the show where it last left off. i can’t shake the feeling that i need to rewatch the whole show before the new season so it can register with me correctly ... but there are only so many hours in a day, i can’t do that for every single show i watch that drops a new season every year or every couple of years!
tl;dr this is why i am dreaming of majorly cutting down on the amount of tv i watch. my brain just can’t take it in this current format! there are already so many new seasons of shows i loved that i just haven’t seen for this reason. i find myself actively craving, like, limitations to my viewing so i don’t feel like my brain is going to explode. often i daydream of canceling all my streaming services except pbs passport and getting really into antiques road show and this old house.
#being a tv person in the 2020s babe!!!!!!#like -- i loved the first two seasons of servant SO MUCH#i was crazy about it#but then we tried to pick up s3 and i couldn't remember what had happened before#so everything felt off#(i think i might actually start servant again from the beginning since there will be two new seasons waiting for me at this point)#and i never watched recent seasons of you or the flight attendant or harley quinn or russian doll or so many more i could list#just because ... i can't remember!!!!!#currently having a bit of a tough time with his dark materials s3 for this reason#also rewatching 30 rock has me so aware of how much i miss when a show would be part of most of your year#like -- there's the 3/4 month break over the summer#but for most of your year you're getting new content with those characters#man i miss that!#that was really special and i really feel the loss of it#it was so much easier to follow a series that way#anyway this has been my overwhelmed tv ramble!#goodnight!!#dollsome's deep thoughts
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Kes????????
#The voice - The hair - The clothes to some extent - The ears - Her name even starts with a 'K'#What's that about?????#from the episode 'unforgettable'#first time I'm watching it! I mostly rewatch pre-Seven seasons so I can see B'Elanna and Tuvok more + they're a little goofier#Kelan(?): -huskily- Don't you wanna hear about our last night together~????#Chakotay: Hm?#Kelan(?): We....shared a kiss <3#OH!!!!! THIS IS THE 'that was a joke! don't deny it!' EPISODE <3#Tuvok: (tells a joke) / Chakotay: That was a joke!/ Tuvok: It wasn't a joke but if you think it was who am I to stop you?#Chakotay: We need a place to put this trained fighter. / Tuvok: The mess hall? / Chakotay: AHAHAHA~!!! But seriously can you-?#Tuvok: Yeah of course sorry. Back to the point-#HARRY'S SO COOL~!!!!#'No defense has ever stopped these weapons' Harry: Then we may be about to make history. <- ACTION LINE !!#he is what the writers wish Tom Paris was I've saidit once I'll say it again!!#Harry also knows what the best security detail squad is??? So tuned in to the crew. Love that man#SNRKEHEHE AND THEN HE HAS TO EXPLAIN FOREPLAY TO SEVEN#weirdass episode <3 I sense zero chemistry between them but I rarely sense chemistry for women-of-the-week#Chakotay just went from being super suspicious of her to loving her ardently#which I guess if I was Chakotay is fair. He's got ZIP going on#Honestly amnesia to amnesia to amnesia like a gd soap opera is so funny though - I love goofy shit#I wish she'd stayed just so that she and Chakotay could keep forgetting they loved each other through increasingly convoluted means#culminating in a coconut on the head#Chakotay sorry about your zero rizz v_v HILARIOUS how quickly she was like 'uhhh sorry dude I've GTG'#Funny episode where Chakotay went through a lot of shit and everyone else just had a mildly exciting few days#actually it would have been SO funny if she just showed up every so often like once every other season like 'Chakotay! I remember!'#and Voyager has to create a protocol about it. Kelan's back captain. It's gonna be a whole thing for like three days. Get the coconut.#Neelix was also really great this episode!! <3#This episode was underwhelming BUT...I have a special place in my heart for 'Something weird happened (shrugs)' episodes!#& I love the continuity cheat of just having them all forget it ever happened twice over
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You know, my day started really shitty and the weather is all gloomy, so I put all my hopes on a JD show in GMMTV p2. I was cautiously optimistic. So as soon as I got home, I checked Twitter and the first post I saw was Joong and Dunk kissing next a car. And I was like OMG!!!!! So I watched the trailer, and I actually squealed, because the concept is amazing and they are with FirstKhao (who GMMTV loves), so the script will also be great, and I feel like my whole day is made. (I actually had a stray thought about this leading up to part2, like if JD and FK get a series together, JD will finally be in a quality production. Maybe I should invest in lottery tickets 😂). I finally completely understood the etymology of the word 'fan', because I'm the "unfollow me right now" meme. I'm an adult with an actual job and I still squealed and flailed like Ongsa because JoongDunk finally get a chance to shine.
But, that's not everything. Because then I logged into Tumblr and I saw that you posted an essay about Dunk to my ask from last week, and now I'm close to tears with how overjoyed I am. Thank you very much for taking the time and writing this manifesto that I'll use as a guide to better understand performances in the future. I love you too, you made this day way better than it already was 💜
P. S. As for the DMs, maybe when I'm less shy 😅
anonnnnnn i'm sorry it took me so long to reply to your last ask!! but yeah, i think you see why and i'm glad it made your day even better 💗💗💗
edit bc i forgot to mention: take your time about dming me, the links won't run away 😌💕
re: "I finally completely understood the etymology of the word 'fan', because I'm the "unfollow me right now" meme." I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING I LITERALLY MADE THIS POST THIS AFTERNOON:
so yeah, me too. me too. i too am that meme. i was already close to posting it hahahaha
as for the new JD show....
ok ok ok so i lucked out completely bc usually tuesday is my uni day but this week i don't have classes, so i was able to watch the entire stream live. and i was already mentally prepared for no JD bl again?? first of all because as i explain in my manifesto, i do want to see them in more solo projects (esp dunk bc out of all the series he's had or will have a major role in 3/4 are with joong which... as a fan i'm absolutely not complaining about but from an acting perspective it would be good for him to branch out)
and second of all, because i'd been talking and speculating with @moonkhao and a couple of days ago joong tweeted something about "this year i will get to play with that phi"?? and @moonkhao mentioned that win had recently followed joong and how it seemed like the two of them were gonna be in a series and we were all like "oh it's gonna be a het show for sure" (HA HA LOOK AT US NOW @moonkhao 🤡🤡🤡🤡) (ive never been more happy to be wrong tho fjkdfkkjdsg)
anyway so i went into the stream fully prepared for them to be in solo het-projects, right?? and when the trailer came on, in the very first shot it's joong and khao, right? but i totally didn't notice joong at first, bc i was too distracted by khao and the fact that first appeared right after and i was all "oh that's gotta be the rumored p'jojo FK mafia show"
and then joong appeared and i finally saw him and i went JOONG??????????
my eyes went big and my jaw dropped on the ground and my head was spinning with thoughts all "is joong gonna be just a side character in this?? or will dunk be there too?? holy shit what is happening????"
AND THEN DUNK CAME ON AND BY THIS POINT, IN ADDITION TO SITTING THERE WITH MY EYES AND MY MOUTH WIDE OPEN I ENDED UP SLAPPING MY HANDS ON MY MOUTH TRYING NOT TO SCREAM AND I WATCHED THE REST OF THE TRAILER AS WELL AS THE PRESENTATION/INTERVIEW AFTERWARDS LIKE THAT
i was literally shaking oh my god dfjkjdfkjdfkjdfjkdsjk
anyway. i'm not gonna be normal about this thanks
#i'm actually anti-firstkhao bc i dream of seeing first kiss all the gmmtv boys at least once#this is another one of my missions/agendas jkfjkdfg#HOWEVER. when it comes to pairs that joongdunk could have collabed with#i think FK are quite possibly the most ideal option that JD could have been paired up with#like they could have been paired with a couple i personally don't care about or worse. they could have been paired with [redacted]#i don't mind watching joong and dunk share a screen with the love of my life first kanaphan kjdfkjdsfjkg#also JD in a p'jojo show?? yes please??#i was hoping they'd get to do a show either with p'jojo or p'aof some time#i really hope it's gonna be a quality script!!!!!! (i wasn't super into only friends and nlmg kinda bored me)#bc i really hope that maybe then more people will finally see that dunk IS in fact a good actor#or else i'm gonna have to write another 7.5k words as a part 2 for my acting manifesto next year dfjkdfkjdf#asks#anon#the heart killers#gmmtv 2024 pt2#adrm#i think i need to go rewatch the trailer again now that my thai class is done dfkdfkdfgf
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Me rewatching True Detective, fully knowing of the fact that I'm incapable of being normal abt anything, and finding myself getting increasingly more insane about it as the days go on: ah look it's consequences of my actions
#this is why theres certain things i feel like i can never rewatch/reread again bcs they will take over my life#generation kill? i keep delayinf watching it even tho i rly want to bcs i know its just gonna take me over again#i didnt think id get obsessive abt true detective#bcs when i watched it the first time i noted that it had a fandom but didnt get into it at all#so im like yeah okay this is safe to rewatch! i like it a lot but its not gonna make insane#guys. i regret to inform you i feel insane.#lol also sry this whole break has been me rediscovering old fandom loves#so i keep having to be like 'WHY DID I GET BACK INTO THIS'#its just a stop gap i think tbh#BUT WHY DID I GET INTO THIS SO SOON BEFORE F1 COMES BACK UGGHHHHHH#also i think another factor is that have no one to talk abt vett/onso meta or AUs with#so my brain is just constantly searching for smth to latch onto#i keep getting sucked into old things and rediscovering my love#and its all very fufilling but ah man it makes me feel so insane ig#love bursting out of its seams and all that#haha just hoping tho main fandom will be a bit more active and communicative once it starts up again#stop my eyes from wandering anf all that#but anwyays yeah. i feel sooooooooo crazy abt TD#every time i watch another ep my brain is like 'man i wanna rewatch from the very start again'#im very loath to finsih things yknow?#theres a difference btwn completely starting smth over when you finish it#and savoring the world youre in before finishing it#yeah you can watch smth an endless amnt of times. but theres smth abt existing in that space btwn the start and the end#but aaaaghhh every aspect i just am so desperately into it#catie.rambling.txt
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that screencap of Hunter that got scrapped is another reason why I can’t get myself to rewatch “Thanks To Them” 😭😭😭
#for the record it's because that scene is VERY FUCKING SAD AND I WOULD JUST START CRYING AGAIN#and also this episode in general is SAD AS FUCK OUGGHHH#LOVE the Halloween aesthetic it had going on#but it BROKE me the first time I watched it so I'm reluctant to watch it again#AND ALSO because I have a FEW criticisms about the episode (not that many tho)#and Some People (Hunter Stans) kinda got me to not like the episode that much lol#but it's weird because I can rewatch FTF without a problem and for#WAD it might be easy too but THIS ONE OUGGHHHHH#not maintagging this#aggie posts
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sorry I'm still on this when you go most of the show thinking that the prince utena kept in her heart was akio thus everything plays into the same system under his control EXCEPT it WASN'T him it was utena's own idealism in wanting to spare someone else pain and that idealism led her astray so many times but it ALSO led her to the girl she would one day love and that potential for love was there the whole time!! and the whole time she was searching, that secret was hidden away waiting to be discovered!! I mean it gets me
#when she looks at anthy and she's like you seem so familiar. because she's been missing her all her life!!#listening to the ost again. distraught#the first time i watched this show i was like hm corruption arc#it's going to conclude there's no shining thing that's an idealized adolescent past you can never return to#because the black rose arc is very much like. these guys are stuck in the past and it sucks for everyone#but on a rewatch and i may change my mind when i inevitably rewatch again at some point i think that it's like#more complicated than 'there is no shining thing' and also more complicated than power of queer love inevitably saves the day#it's more like. the beautiful thing you're looking for isn't what you think it is#and the characters won't find what they're looking for by doing all the things they've already done#get creative. turn into a car and escape the narrative. idk#meet someone's eyes and listen to what they're actually saying for a second and then you'll calm down#certainly advice i should have taken as a teenager. god#well maybe avoiding the car thing. bc of the many tickets i've received by getting distracted & forgetting what the speed is meant to be
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