#i love not being able to trust my brain
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
kaeyachi · 7 months ago
Text
my recently cynonari obsessed brain: What if Cyno can safely handle 2 ba fragments of Hermanubis as an adult due to being companions/ having prolonged exposure to Tighnari, and Hermanubis recognized that closeness? (Tighnari being a descendant as well)
Cyno handled the 2nd ba fragment a bit too well for my angst-loving brain...
137 notes · View notes
foulfeast · 2 months ago
Text
Ohhhh i now remember why i got shy about talking abt ocs
24/7 fear that someone will tell me my ideas are cliche/stupid/bad in some other and it will hurt more bc these are my own creations and not just fun and play
#kurjatxt#i was trying 2 explain some stuff and i was immediately like#:/ does this feel like some kinf of weird hype for ancient mysticism and does that go into promoting the current day false ideas plaguing#people that make them drink unpasturized milk :/#is this too based on my view on magic from my enviroment bc it is based on my personal experience on seeking safety in#nostalgia and playing w the idea of balancing what you get from the past and integrating it into the future vs. just being stuck in the#past vs. the danger of completely rejecting the past told through the lense of smth i loved as a child: fantasy/magic/fairytales :/#and could be alienating and immature and demeaningly simple to other people who grew up in an enviroment already more inclined to#this kind of balance :/#or is me thinking about this demeaning to people bc i should be able to trust them to see what i make as silly ramblings by some random#tumble user just exploring their own experiences through story instead of trying to make some large sweeping statements about#the world and its reality :/#or is it bad of me to be careless about bc of COURSE i should put the upmost care into what i put out into the world and make sure that#everything i make is inclusive and as accessible to as many different types of people to relate to :/#or is that dumb is that limiting to art and am i giving a bad example and furthering the idea of people#havibg to make everything as palatable to everyone as possible JUST in case that nobody gets even slightly hurt or annoyed :/#man being a creator is hard OOPS that is also an evil thing to say being a creator is the luckiest thing you can ever be and ur just beinh#a whiny bitchbaby :/#<-#all that just. a small portion of the overthinking#and yk what it started from?#thr statement '<#in this world magic can be kind of more compared to how modern science is approached'#THAT SENTENC3#I AM SO STRESSED ABOUT#WhY IS MY BRAIN LIKE THIS!!!! I DONT KNOW!!!#sorry this is prolly the longest tags ive ever put on a post sorry to whoever opened the see more for this#its just. i think tj3 first tim3 ive been able.to expresw the circles my brain does and its kind of therapeutic#maybe i should start writing these circles down more often so i could see how dumb they rly are on paper#instead.of fretting inside my heae
7 notes · View notes
betterthanbatman1 · 1 year ago
Note
bman and jason have a seriously strained relationship as is, and our braindead coma patients at DC have no interest in fixing it because Drama Sells, so what do you think would genuinely help these two get back to something real?
Ooh, great question, Anon! Thank you :)
So, right if the bat (pun intended) we know that Bruce and Jason don’t get along well, specifically because of their dissimilar morals.
In DC comics, Bruce only sees in a black or white, this or that way of thinking. It’s either ‘continue to fight crime and leave the rest to the justice system’ OR ‘focus on controlling crime and killing criminals to protect others’. Jason on the other hand sees both of these as opposing morals, and he also recognizes that there is a middle ground which is ‘get rid of the absolute worst of them’. Because Jason understands Bruce, he knows that nothing will make Bruce take a life or do things differently (I mean, his own death didn’t make a difference to Bruce’s morals), but Jason also believes that Bruce doesn’t have to change who he is, he just needs to accept that Jason’s methods are right for Gotham. Ultimately Bruce killing Joker for Jason would have helped their relationship, because Jason would have known that he was loved and his life was worth more than the clown’s. And in UTRH Jason says “I’m not talking about cobblepot or riddler or Dent… I’m talking about him, just him” Bare with me, I know that Jason says this regarding Bruce killing Joker for a different reason being -Joker’s crime was a lot more personal. However I still feel like regardless if Joker hadn’t killed Jason, Jason would still feel the same way about Joker- meaning he’d still think Joker deserves to die because of the sheer brutality and sadism and absolute power the clown has on Gotham & it’s people. (More than any other Gotham city rogues!)
So back to the point, if Bruce acknowledged (like Jason does!) the middle ground of killing the worst of the worst, then that would bring the two closer together.
Listen, I get that Bruce killing would forever change ‘The Batman’, but Bruce doesn’t have to kill people to accept the ideology because he knows Jason is right, he knows crime is down because of Jason. But NO!, DC has to make him beat the shit out of his son instead of having a fucking conversation.
Which brings me to this point. For some reason DC seems to think that these two have to fight no matter what. If they went to have soup with Alfred they’d still end up punching each other for whatever reason. It’s ridiculous. Is this what they think readers want? I completely agree with you, Anon. Drama sells, unfortunately.
The next point is that Bruce needs to actually have faith in his son because guess what?, Jason needs his father’s support to do good. Actual good. Bruce second guessing Jason and not trusting him with missions is exactly what gets Jason frustrated, causing him to feel inferior, worthless, or unlovable in Bruce’s eyes. From a psychological perspective, if Bruce trusted Jason and told him he trusted him, Jason would feel so much better about himself and their relationship. It’s so much better for a child to prove their parents are right for trusting them (motivating them positively) than having a child strive to prove their parents wrong (motivating them negatively). Bruce needs to stop being so condescending and Jason will finally feel heard. Bruce treats him like a child which is just so wrong and demeaning.
Last point is that Bruce needs to spend more time with Jason as Bruce and not as Batman. Sometimes Jason needs his father and that’s okay. It’s up to Bruce to be there for him. Whether Jason is an adult or not, he should be able to feel like he can call or visit or ask for help from Bruce without Bruce getting angry or telling him he’s off the mission.
At this point DC just needs to get the whole family seeing some therapists.
In conclusion, things that would help mend Bruce and Jason’s relationship:
Finding a common middle ground among their morals
Bruce should not beat his sons regardless if they are ‘criminals’ in his eyes or not
Bruce killing the Joker (this would bring Jason closer to Bruce, but it does cause some changes in Bruce’s character).
COMMUNICATION (this is the first step in therapy probably)
Having them be partners and act like partners. Bruce needs to get off his high horse and stop being so condescending to Jason.
Similar to the above-Bruce needs to trust Jason and make sure Jason knows Bruce trusts him.
Spend more time outside of crime fighting. Idk go watch a baseball game or go fishing. Have some family dinners and talk about the times when things were easy and fun and silly, before everything went to shit. Jason deserves his dad and Bruce deserves his son.
Therapy (The whole family would benefit).
41 notes · View notes
slightlytoastedbagel · 1 month ago
Text
thinking back to that one scene in ORS where Kohane is thinking over when she first stepped into Weekend Garage (An singing in the back blowing her away) and when she goes through the door she is attacked by bisexuality (AkiAnToya singing and then she internal monologues over how she wants to protect this feeling and sing with them and other mushy things). this is truly the most polysquad moment ever holy bingle.
2 notes · View notes
franeridan · 1 year ago
Text
I really wish yamato had gone with luffy and I love that he asked to be considered a crewmate anyway and that luffy told him he'd always have a place on the sunny so I a hundred percent consider him a mugiwara but in my ideal one piece where the war ended differently and ace is still alive yamato is his. like obviously ace is dead and he hadn't been a captain for a while before then anyway, but in my ideal one piece yamato belongs to him. he's a spades. he's ace's crewmate first and foremost.
#the way yamato talks about ace is so wonderful to me so beautiful#the certainty he had in ace being the one who'd spearhead the new age rivals the trust the mugiwaras have in luffy#the only reason he wants to be on luffy's crew is cause ace told him so much about luffy he decided if it wasn't ace it had to be luffy the#i have this thing in my brain that if the asl brothers had all actually become captains and stayed so#there's a whole bunch of luffy's allies that would have actually been split between them#like i mean the only reason why they're with luffy is that cause he's the closest thing but#had ace and sabo gotten there first some of them would have aligned more with them than with luffy#like take vivi for example she's DEFINITELY nakama and no one will take that from her#but are you seriously telling me had sabo had his own crew he wouldn't have managed to actually steal her away#some of the royals and nobles luffy befriended are so sabo coded they'd have joined his crew in a heartbeat had he had one#same with ace there's a bunch of mugiwara allies that are so ace coded he'd have swept them away so easily.....#no but that's not even it with yamato#like that's just me letting my brain go but with yamato it's like#on paper#dude saw the new king in ace he'd have followed him to the end of every sea had he been able to#had ace gotten there when he knew haki already......#no yamatos definitely aces ace just lent him to luffy thats the hill I'll die on#on a side note i just read that one part where marco remembers ace whining that he wanted to go back to yamato#and i had forgotten that he smiles and cries at the memory#one hit ko a million hp lost i want to die what the hell marco my love marco my sweetheart 😭😭😭😭😭#oh i love marco so much......#i always loved him unreasonably even before the war when he'd barely done anything but the more oda writes about him#the more my love grows no one gets it he makes me so sad he deserves so much more my man my sweet 😭😭#izo too........he gets there like “are you ready to die” “I've survived enough already” IZO MY LOVE 😭😭😭😭#the wb pirates make me so sad man..... but marco and izo a million times more than anyone else sob sob they deserve better#sorry but i just had someone very angry abt what i said re vivi in my inbox so let me explain that#it was an exaggeration i wasn't being literal with it#no i do think understand specific circumstances it might have been true but i was exaggerating nontheless#very sorry the truth is i forget people actually read what i write m(._.)m#but also why be angry in my inbox I'm not even tagging these posts just unfollow me man
19 notes · View notes
pizzalover69420 · 5 months ago
Text
relate to prev reblog. yeah i lose steam REALLY fast trying to listen to others infodump or get into other people's interests unless i get lucky and hyperfixate on it. i feel like shit about it because past that i really do like listening to others, learning about new things, and stuff being shared with me :( the only combat ive had to this is multitasking with a very light task while theyre talking or showing me something but sometimes that makes me miss something and i feel bad having to ask to repeat or rewind because technically i wasnt paying attention. but im really REALLY trying. if i Dont multitask then i miss way more than i would if i didnt multitask. like im putting my 200% into this because i REALLY WANT THIS my brain is just convinced everything is oh so boring all the time
6 notes · View notes
ednaeflowers · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
edna's love language is quality time. she's spent 1000+ years by herself on r.ayfalke waiting for e.izen to come home—she will never, ever admit to it, but she's definitely felt lonely before through those 1000+ years, so quality time would definitely help bring her closer to someone. she will still, of course, tease whoever she is with: because of how she's like, the more she teases you, the more fond of you she is. she isn't the type who talks about how she actually feels, especially if it's sentimental or personal, so it's very subtle in how much she enjoys someone's company. she opens up slowly, but once you gain her trust, she trusts you.
it reassures her to know that she still has people around her. it'll make her feel more comfortable knowing that there is still at least another person she can be around since she literally lost the only person she could truly rely on—so, it makes sense that she doesn't want to lose more people. she is very "loud" about how she teases people, but very "quiet" in how she shows what's actually on her mind. to know what she is feeling, it's all in her actions.
1 note · View note
animationismycomfort · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
can’t tell me otherwise
Tumblr media
in case ya wanna use it
6 notes · View notes
iateyourburrito · 2 years ago
Text
The mortifying ordeal of being known vs the joy of participating in creation of oneself
6 notes · View notes
magnus-and-the-dragon · 2 years ago
Text
whyyyyy am i crying on my living room couch right now
2 notes · View notes
fingertipsmp3 · 25 days ago
Text
Sometimes I really need to keep my mouth shut
#was at my friend’s house for tea#her mum mentioned she has a doctor’s appointment next week which kind of unfortunately coincides with my friend’s daughter#getting out of school. and my friend has to work that day#they were both scrambling around and arguing like ‘well can’t you cancel the appointment’ ‘can’t YOU cancel the shift’ etc#(kid can’t walk home by herself. she’s 4 and honestly an agent of chaos)#so i was like ‘uhhhh third idea? maybe i could take her to the park and we could just be there until her grandma gets out of the appointment#so now i am. doing this. apparently#the school and the park are really close by each other and the kid looooves the park and also seems to love and trust me#for god’s sake i put her to bed tonight because her mum was getting ready for work#it’s just being out in public. as the only responsible adult in charge of a child. that is not mine. and she can run around#and has a mind of her own. PROBABLY nothing will happen but my brain has already started to foresee scenarios#where she decides to run into traffic or something. and i’m like ellen WHY did you volunteer for this. this type of shit is EXACTLY#why you made the decision to not have kids. it’s the responsibility for another human life#i think what i need to do is put in a failsafe. ‘if you hold my hand the entire way to the park you can have a lollipop’ (of course for this#i have to bring a lollipop). then if she gets bored of the park before her grandma shows up i will pull up youtube on my phone#i mean the ultimate failsafe is 999 but hopefully it won’t come to that because the last time i called 999 they put me on fucking hold#(my mum was having a horrendous asthma attack. i didn’t just call them recreationally)#i know there’s someone thinking ‘why not just drive her somewhere’ i don’t have a car OR her carseat babes#i also can’t ride a bike. it’s really fun being an utterly useless childless adult. i really enjoy being good for nothing#here’s hoping her grandma’s appointment takes like 10 seconds and she then motors to the school and renders me redundant#i guess i could bring someone with me but i SHOULD be able to handle this on my own. for god’s sake she’s 4 years old#personal
1 note · View note
itsalwaysdark · 2 months ago
Text
whining hours . sry
#like idk i try to like. imagine a future where i have like. friends. you know. Bare mimimum i have People i talk to. who arent lamp. and i#just cant imagine it happening again#like. i genuinely feel like i cant connect to ppl anymore and idk how id like. i dont see a way for me to do that ever again since i cant g#to school and like. sny job im able to get wouldnt be the kind where i like. meet people or make friends. and last year when i eent out wit#the express purpose of Making friends i literally couldnt. speak to anyone. like i just sat alone with my headphones on until it was time t#go home ... i dont know how to like. initiate casual conversation#+ like. i worry i get way too invested in any potential friendships bc i want so badly to be Normal and have friends and then i freak out#rly badly over something trivial. and thats entirely my fault like I need to work on not letting my freakouts effect the person im freaking#out abt. yk. like its my stupid brain that just gets rly rly overly defensive and weird abt everything its not like. I need to work on that#and thats another reason i dont knowif ill ever be able to make friends again is bc i genuinely dont trust myself not to get overly attache#way too quickly and then explode or something. idk#i also think maybe im just not meant to have actual lasting relationships with anybody ever. yk. like maybe im not meant to ever have roots#and maybe i just wont ever get to have stability and my life will always be entirely transient. Perhaps thats for the best so that i dont#have t like. lose ppl. and ppl dont have to deal with me#+ if i make bad decisions there r less ppl to care abt it. you know. which is a plus. idk#theres like. some parts of me r like desperate for friends and for love and to just . feel like i exist and Talk to people and like. have#stability. and then the rest r like No this is good bc we cant hurt as many ppl like this and also we dont deserve any of that so this is#for the best. and i just have to sit here like ok ! bc if i seek out friendships that part shuts it all down and if i dont the other part#makes me feel miserable and lonely. like damn i am destined for misery. but whatever. it doesnt rly matter DHRNFJFN im just being whiny#it just feels like i need like. ok this is my abdicating responsibility and is the reason i dont have friends disclaimer. i know that. very#aware. but i like. i need somebody to be the one to reach out to Me bc i like. i cant reach out to ppl like. i cant Try to initiate#conversations . but i think if there was a person who like. initiated conversations w me and started a friendship with me i like. i think#itd help me get used to Having a friend again and then id like. id be better at maintaining it and eventually id be able to pick up th#weight. but Obviously nobody wants to like. put in all that effort for somebody whos incapable of returning the favor possibly ever. yk#i need to just bite the bullet and humiliate myself and reach out even if its embarassing and even if it makes me have to throw up#<- happened one time when i tried to talk to someone new. which is so. oh my god. there r ppl who have avtual fucking issues and then im#just like boohoo i tried to think abt a conversation starter and got so anxious i fucking threw up. GOD. i hateit i hate it i hate it. but#wtvr. ik i cant actually expect that from anybody basically like. ik its a stupid wish. idk. i just wish i had somebody who could help me#like. remember how to mask and how to socialize Like a real person. and wouldnt mind that im like. weird right now. and would be willing to#talk to me until i got normal and stuff. wtvr. idk ... 10000 lashings
1 note · View note
neverendingford · 6 months ago
Text
.
1 note · View note
caelum-in-the-avatarverse · 7 months ago
Text
Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.
So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.
Lurkers really are great, tho
I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.
Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.
The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.
Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.
There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.
I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available. 
I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.
I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.
So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.
But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.
I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.
Should we gatekeep fandom?
I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--
A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.
That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.
See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.
So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.
The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.
And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”
Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.
Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.
And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.
However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community. 
I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.
And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company? 
And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)
But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.
Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.
Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.
Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists. 
While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:
Tumblr media
[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom 
OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]
-
“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.
I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.
It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits. 
So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.
And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.
So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.
Think of it like a garden gate
When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.
The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people. 
Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it. 
Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.
My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.
But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.
I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.
Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.
And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.
Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.
There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.
6K notes · View notes
l00katthesky · 1 year ago
Text
——
0 notes
jinxvex · 20 days ago
Note
could u perhaps do casual dominance hcs w sevika..? :3
♱ casual dominance w/ gf!sevika headcanons!! ♱
Tumblr media
i've been mf WAITING for this one!! it's time to get down to the biz folks... 🙈😏🤫
cw: sfw & kinda nsfw towards the end!, possessiveness, manhandling, dumbification??, curse words, touching, suggestive themes!
Tumblr media
♱ sevika is, without a doubt, the dominant one in the relationship. that's not to say a woman can't be versatile! it's just what she prefers. the dynamic between you two is not only what makes things work well in your relationship, it makes you perfect for each other.
♱ she doesn't mind a few swear words from you here and there, but she is on it if you're beginning to pick up the habit of using them. she doesn't like her sweet girl using such filthy language! unless she's fucking it out of you. a simple "fuck! god damn it!" when you drop something has her going, "hey, watch your mouth." or "language, baby. where's my sweet girl at?"
♱ i mentioned this in another post, but she's the driver! that hand would be on your thigh, squeezing as the other rests on the steering wheel—just to let you know she's still thinking of you as you two quietly listen to music. you enjoy each other's company that way.
♱ sevika does not tolerate attitude from you. whew, girl! you'd be in for a treat if you rolled your eyes at her or gave her lip because you happened to be in one of your moods. she isn't afraid to scold you. she absolutely grabs your chin to force you to look her in the eye, "who do you think you're talking to, huh?" + "nuh-uh, baby. no."
♱ she literally picks you up by your waist to move you wherever she wants you to go (AHHH). + (think when loris was bringing vi back to her apartment when she was drunk and emo but in a hot wlw way).
♱ sevika LOVES to rub the front of your thighs when you sit on her lap, whether that be when she's gambling or at home. she doesn't even let you try and get up, you're stuck there for hours!
♱ sevika enjoys turning your brain to mush; she loves watching your eyes gloss over as she talks down to you and tells you what to do. she knows you'd do anything to be her good girl.
"hey, go hand me my cards, baby." she demands gently as you two get up from the couch, ready to venture to the last drop. she pats your ass softly before you nod and briskly rush over to where her cards rest on the kitchen table. when you return, you drop the cards into her large mech hand. your eyes peer deep into hers for confirmation that you did good. she leans in for a kiss, a kiss that deepens and lasts. as you kiss passionately, her human hand snakes up to your neck and presses down firmly before pulling away, "that's a good girl." + "mm thank you, baby. what would i do without my woman?" she smirks against your open mouth.
♱ if anyone is staring at you in public/trying to flirt with you, TRUST she's pulling you in for the sexiest, NASTIEST kiss and sticking her tongue down your throat (IN FRONT OF THEM). she makes out with you as she glares into their eyes from across the room! her eyes would be screaming, "she's mine, and if you ever look at her again, you're dead."
(i would LIKE to say she orders for both of you at a restaurant, but you'd definitely be the one going all, "yes! thank you! and she'll have the chicken salad with toasted croutons!" as she sticks her face into the menu LMAOFOOO.)
♱ for some reason, sevika does not let you pay. ever! she loves being able to take care of you—to provide for you.
"i got it this time, gorgeous." you huff and turn towards her, "you pay every time, vika!" you exclaim as she pulls you in closer to whisper into your ear, "let me take care of you, hmm?" + "just wanna give my girl the world. can i do that for you?"
♱ oh! and if you try to run when she's fucking you from behind, she IS placing her hand at the small of your back to keep you still so you can take everything she gives you! she goes, “mhm, take it. don’t run.” + “you need this, slut.” that's all!
needless to say, she loves you real bad!! 🫣
1K notes · View notes