#i love mean egotistical men

[ryujnn]

do i have a type…? cause i’m noticing some similarities… it’s interesting….

[eyesthecolorofarson]

dead serious where Danny is fucking pathetic. Phantoms a great superhero! He’s competent, kind, charismatic, so funny, and got his species human rights!

Danny?

Absolute wet rag of a man.

He can’t cook, he can’t sleep, he’s gifted which means he gets good grades but doesn’t know how to study so big shit he needs to study for he fails, he fails at every social interaction he takes part of, he can’t dress, he can’t fucking sleep, he’s sad and pathetic and useless.

And Damian fucking loves it.

He’s so much like his mother it hurts. They both love pathetic, wet cats of men. He can be smart enough for the both of them. And egotistical. And good looking. And a cook. He can be everything, he’s happy as long as Danny exists by his side.

Tim: Seriously, what do you see in that guy?

Damien: He makes me laugh

Danny: works hard and gets good results as Phantom

Damien: 🙄🥱

Danny: sets his kitchen on fire trying to microwave takeout and takes so much melatonin he accidentally overdoses and needs to be rushed to the hospital but when he wakes up he accidentally falls out of bed, rips his IV out, and bleeds on the floor for ten minutes before thinking to call someone

Damian: I need to fuck him RIGHT NOW

[harmeu]

Falling Tears

(BSD MEN REACT TO THEIR SPOUSE CRYING)

(GN!Reader)

Dazai Osamu:

We all know Dazai is one to shrug off people's problems as if it were a measly little thing that was nothing to fuss over. The casual “You’ll be fine~!” But we all also know that Dazai cares for you. He loves you. If you were to sob in front of him it’d send him into an overdrive of broken worry.

You were tired. Sick and tired. It felt as if everyone was shrugging you off of your problems and you ran to the agency bathroom because your throat closed up and felt water appearing in your eyes. 

THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.

You knew those footsteps. It was your boyfriend. Dazai. You immediately began trying to wipe the tears, imagining that if Dazai were to see he’d try to stifle his laughter because of all those times he waved off your problems and vents. Sadly the tears couldn’t stop and now you were a flushed mess looking down to avoid his gaze. It was piercing.

“Darling what's this? Why’re you trying to hide your pretty face from meee~?” He cooed tilting your head up, having a playful smile but it broke as he noticed your tears. 

“Oh..what happened.?” 

“No one listens or takes me seriously. Not even you! I’m tired. Go away.” You try to shrug him off but he grasps your hands pulling you onto his chest.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He frowned, his face softening. “I’m the asshole for ignoring. I should've known.” Worry was evident on his handsome face and you flushed at his words. You really needed to hear that. As Dazai apologized he peppered your face with kisses.

“Next time slap me if I brush off your problems. I might like it if you slap me though.” He winked which you scoffed at, holding back a chuckle.

Chuuya Nakahara:

Chuuya, despite being someone who definitely needs anger management classes will get immensely suspicious if you were to get the tiniest bit of a frown on your face. “Are you alright?” He’d constantly ask and once you break down his heart shatters.

You collapsed onto your bed spasming a bit from trying to hold back your tears. You knew you could tell Chuuya your love about your problems. Though there was a thing inside of you that said that he would be forcing himself to comfort you so you kept your mouth shut silently sobbing into a pillow curled up.

You flinched as the door knob cranked open revealing your boyfriend with wide eyes as he saw you so disheveled.

“What's wrong doll?” He murmured going to you and sitting beside you on the bed taking his gloved fingers to stroke your back delicately.

“I-I’m sorry I don’t wanna bother.” You mumble back looking back down at the pillow you sobbed into.

“Tell me who did it.” Chuuyas glare becomes more pronounced as seconds pass and you almost chuckle at his overprotectiveness.

“I’m just tired.” You say averting your gaze.

“I can be your stress relief.” He stared and flushed at his own words, scowling. “Not like that! Like..my arms are free for you.”

You laughed and dug yourself deep into his chest nuzzling as Chuuya put his chin on your head, kissing it gently.

Ranpo Edogawa:

This piece of shit of an egotistical man will KNOW your sad but won’t do anything about it. He’ll brush it off like Dazai in a more childish way. “I have better things to do!” He’d say casually sucking on his lollipop. But those once closed eyes would widen at the sight of your tears coming on display.

Everything and everyone was so mean. Why can’t they just understand you're tired?! You’ve tried. So. Many. Times. To talk to your boyfriend about your problems but he’d change the topic with what he was busy with.

Thinking no one was here you buried yourself into your desk of the agency, silent tears slipping out your eyes as you took a shaky breath, hands trembling beneath the desk. You sniffled but then heard a drop of some kind of food. Ice cream. Splat on the ground as you lift your head to see your boyfriend staring at you wide eyed, his glasses barely holding on.

“What?” You say annoyed wiping your tears so you don’t embarrass yourself further.

“You're crying.” He said as if it weren't the most obvious thing in the world.

“No shit.” You rubbed your eyes frantically realizing the tears wouldn’t stop which turned into a sniffle fest and you averted your body from him in a fluster.

Footsteps came closer and you felt arms wrap around your waist from behind and a face nuzzle into your neck.

“Did I do it.?” Ranpo mumbled a childish tone evident in his voice.

“Your part of it.” You said between tears and then your boyfriend kissed the back of your neck sending shivers down you. You try to glare but he uses the puppy dog look to manipulate you. Damn it.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled averting his gaze.

You didn’t fully accept his apology but you did accept the kisses he kept giving you during this encounter making you flush.

(FIRST POST IN LIKE MONTHSOMG anyway)

[ddollfface]

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤…

Types of Readers Baki Men Would and Wouldn't Get Along With

Guys, I think I popped off... (don't say anything about my grammar)

Kaiou Retsu 

Like: If we're talking about romantically, I think Retsu would be the best fit with somebody who's strong, confident, and level-headed. To be confident doesn't equate to being loud, instead, I'd think those who are the most silent are the most confident. If you have to scream out to the world that you're strong, then you're likely overcompensating. Retsu doesn't really like those who are loud (as mentioned above), seeing as he wants somebody who's always thinking of different outcomes, trying to defuse the situation as much as possible, but also having strong morals that he aligns with. Retsu would get along best with someone who loves to communicate and is emotionally mature, that is, if you ever want to have a long-lasting relationship with him.

Dislike: Honestly, I think somebody who's very immature and can't sit still. Retsu is very calm, always observing, and then reacting. He doesn't like to be brash or make split-second decisions because he feels that they'll never amount to anything productive (though he does have his moments lol). But, overall, I do think that Retsu would freeze if he was ever around, or romantically involved with a reader who's very confident, loud, and just scatterbrained. It would freak him out, causing his brain to go into overdrive, and unlock all of his protective instincts. I mean, how do you expect him to react when he never knows what you're doing? You're always speaking your mind and acting on impulse! Who knows what trouble you'll get into!

Orochi Katsumi

Like: Katsumi needs someone who can keep up with him, someone who isn't afraid to come out of their shell eventually. He wants someone who’s charismatic, allowing for easy conversions between the two of you. Katsumi wants to date his best friend, his partner in crime, his ride or die, if you will. He won’t get along with someone unless they’re similar to him, in the basic sense. You don’t need to be extremely strong (though, he will find that very hot), too outgoing, or loud, you just need to share some common interests. He doesn’t mind someone who’s more introverted, but he does want to be that person they act a fool around, the person they let loose and be themselves, even if they’re still tame. Katsumi is a bratty kid at heart, and he wants special affection from his lover, something that only he can have. In return, they’ll have all his attention, his heart, and soul, something he’d never give to another person. (puppy!bf energy ngl) 

Dislike: At first, I thought that Katsumi would absolutely loathe a shy darling, but the more I thought about it, I realized that he’d actually hate being with someone who’s aloof, or just disinterested (i.e. Shizuku from HXH). Katsumi loves to talk, to run his mouth all day, and if you’re not listening, then it’ll break his heart. He wants to be seen. Like I said in the paragraph above, he wants his lover to be his best friend, the person he relies on and looks to when in need (depending on the situation). Though I do agree with the idea that Katsumi is very egotistical, he’s still insecure (as are most with such a big ego) and cannot handle someone he holds so dear disregarding with ease. He doesn’t want to be replaceable, seeing as he doesn’t think of his darling as such. Therefore, he’s expectantly the same energy in return. He’s your ride or die, so you gotta match that energy, or else it’s over :/

Matsumoto Kozue (She's my wife btw) 

Likes: Someone who’s playful, caring, and touchy (basically Baki lol). I like to think that Kozue enjoys soft, wholesome relationships, finding comfort in light touches and laying in each other's arms. She wants to be held and cared for, and she holds herself to the same standard. She wants someone who goes with the floor, understanding that life has its ups and downs, and overcoming things as they go. It puts her at ease to know that her partner is competent enough to assess the situation and not get emotionally stunted. Kozue just needs stability in a relationship, and it can be shown in different ways depending on the person she’s dating/and their preferences. You don’t need to be verbally affectionate, telling her that everything is going to be alright, instead, you can use your actions. There are plenty of ways to provide stability, and Kozue eats it up every time. 

Dislikes: Someone who is really hothead and can’t handle change, someone who’s insecure in themselves. Their insecurity (and I mean aggressive insecurity, where they push it onto others, Katou) makes her nervous and it just settles a horrible foundation in the relationship. She gets fidgety, constantly worrying that they’ll have an outburst/mental breakdown. Kozue is a sweetheart, so she obviously cares for her darling, not wanting them to feel unloved and have panic attacks, but it’s difficult since they won’t let her in. She needs someone who’s both physically and emotionally available, someone who won’t push her away when they’re mad. Of course, it makes sense to want space when you’re angry, but when you’re constantly angry, refusing to talk things through, and resorting to violence to get what you want, it’s a no-go for her.

Kiyosumi Katou

Likes: If you were to ask Kiyosumi what his type is, then he’d tell you with a wide grin that he likes them dumb and fuckable, playing up this playboy facade (that majority of people see through). Maybe he’ll even add a cheeky laugh, saying that a shy thing would be pretty cute too, but don’t be fooled. This man is so needy, wanting any affection he can get. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not a cinnamon roll or whatever the fuck. Kiyosumi is a grown man with some… violent tendencies, and manipulative ones as well. He isn’t mature and acts brash whenever he can, overestimating himself when face-to-face with a stronger opponent. Nevertheless, Kiyousmi wants a lover who’s motherly, or caring, someone who’ll listen and look through his little facade, caring for him even though he’s being an ass. Or in other words, he just wants patience. Deep down Kiyosumi understands that he’s not the easiest to get along with, but once you get past his original cocky attitude and bitchy presence, then you’ll meet a new side of him. A side that’s far calmer, no longer instigating and picking fights, just watching. If anything, he becomes a little pouty (lol), and he’s far more clingy, wanting more domestic affection. But do keep in mind that this will take years to build up to, he needs a foundation of trust to let himself calm down. Once he realizes that you aren’t going anywhere, then he treats you with care 

Dislikes: He loathes stupid people, and I mean genuinely stupid, like a bimbo, not reckless stupid. He cannot maintain a conversation with someone who cannot comprehend that people in the ‘20s could in fact see color… Though he wouldn’t mind fucking around with a bimbo, having a one-night stand and such, he wouldn’t be able to maintain a long-term relationship with them, nor would he be able to respect them. And that’s a pillar of trust for Kiyosumi, if he doesn’t respect you, then you’re not getting anywhere in the relationship. If Kiyosumi thinks you’re lesser than him (be it through smarts or strength), he’ll absolutely bully you to oblivion, never giving you a moment of rest. If he paired with someone genuinely stupid, no matter how kind they are, he would berate them, creating a toxic relationship. Yeah… I do not recommend, it really would just be a messy, one-sided relationship that would just end in tears.

Hanma Baki 

Likes: This was a little difficult for me since Baki meshes so well with many different types of people, so thinking of a singular personality he goes with is unrealistic. Though if we’re talking about romantic partners, then I think that Baki would really like a S/O who’s kinda bratty, but in a nice way(?). He wants a back-and-forth, some type of conversation that’ll get a chuckle out of him every time he thinks about them. He’d like a comedic darling, whether their comedy is through dark humor, sarcasm, or just being a clutz, he doesn’t care. Baki just wants someone who’s a little lighthearted, who wants to make the situation more enjoyable through humor. This type of darling would have a brighter outlook on the world, seeing the world through a lens of low expectations and easy-flowing thoughts. They don’t have to be loud, nor do they have to be extremely talkative, Baki is okay with some silence. He doesn’t mind just enjoying each other’s presence, but I think he’d like someone with a sense of humor, being drawn in with their witty comebacks/comments.

Dislikes: Honestly, there are not many types of people Baki doesn’t get along with, seeing as he has an easy-going personality that most enjoy. That just means that if he doesn’t like you, then you’re likely a POS. I think that for Baki to not like you, and genuinely dislike your presence, you’d have to be extremely rude and not in a funny way. You’re just annoying and nit-picky, whilst having no accomplishments yourself. Similar to the expression ‘those who live in a glass home shouldn’t throw stones,’ Baki believes that if you haven’t accomplished anything and don’t relate to someone’s struggles, then keep your mouth shut. You don’t have a right to comment and berate others for trying hard, even if they don’t do too well, when you don’t strive for anything yourself. This type of person would just irk Baki, and there’s no way he’d be able to have a romantic (or platonic, for that matter) with them.

Hanma Yujiro 

Likes: Okay, so this is kind of difficult for me to give an exact personality, seeing as Yujiro doesn’t really love. I don’t think he’s made for the romantic, homey type of love most people share with one another, instead, he was made for blood and war. A more primal love is fitting of him, a love might not be even love to begin with. Well, unless he respects you. I think what could really change the type of personality Yujiro likes depends on the type of romantic relationship he has with reader. If the relationship is that of a sugar baby/plaything, then expect the heartless playing that’s a mindfuck for the average person. But if it’s a genuine relationship, where Yujiro somehow got attached, then it’ll be quiet, a little eerie, but it resembles love far more than the usual mindfuck he gives people. I’m sure I could talk about this for days, so I’ll summarize by stating the basic things he’s looking for in both types of relationships. 

For starters, Yujiro isn’t normal, the exact opposite actually. He’s the definition of an anomaly, the unusual, the rare, and irreplaceable. It’s likely that there will be no one like Hanma Yujiro to ever exist after he, eventually, dies, though some don’t even know if he’ll ever pass away. As to be expected, Yujiro wants to surround himself with the unusual, especially if they’re to be his “lover,” or plaything, depending on the relationship. He’s somewhat similar to a crow, he likes new things, things no one has ever seen, the unattainable. This means that you’d have to be crazy special, or hella courageous, to earn the respect of Yujiro. And those are the types of people who attract his affection. Yujiro loves to interact with those who discover new things, whether it be a new fighting style, historical movement, or social change. Though Yujiro is egotistical, I do think that Yujiro likes to learn. Yujiro wants to grow, to accomplish, and to conquer, and how will he do that without learning about the world around him? He wants to be the best at everything, so that’s why he wants a darling who’s a specialist.

This means that you’d have to be smart, extremely so, whether that intellectual talent comes from your brain or your instincts, it doesn’t matter to Yujiro. He sees both types as valuable assets. I do think that he’d mingle better with someone who’s on the more observant side, who’s able to read him like a book. That’s the type of person who’d catch his interest, and if they can maintain his interest for many years, then they’ve successfully earned his respect(?). 

Dislikes: It’s safe to say that Yujiro doesn’t like many people. I could probably write a whole book on the many different types of personalities this man doesn’t mesh well with, but won’t because I think there’s a specific type of a person he absolutely despises, consistently that is. Those who are both lazy and chatty are the type that make Yujiro want to smash his head in, or theirs to be realistic, and I think it stems from his constant need to be fighting, moving, using his hands, anything. Yujiro doesn’t like small talk, wanting to just cut to the chase and get over with it, stop talking, and do some action for God’s sake! He hates mindless banter and believes that real men don’t use filler words to lighten the impact of what they say, instead, they should state their opinions with their chest. Because of this, I think that this would carry over to his love life (which is nonexistent, btw). Yujiro wants someone like himself in a sense, someone who knows when to shut up and just act. He gets pissed whenever a girl just talks his ears off, specifically not saying anything of substance, just babbling off about some useless crap he could care less about.

Biscuit Olivia 

Likes: Honestly, he’s the opposite of Yujiro, instead of hating everyone, this man mixes pretty well. This is likely due to the fact he has quite the ego, leading to him having quite the confidence in everything he does, never doubting himself and how he interacts with others. That being said, I think that Olivia would like someone who’s humble, sweet, and happy. Someone who’s just content being alive and treats everyone with kindness. This type of darling is someone who, though they were kidnapped, and possibly forced into working at the prison, will still reciprocate Olivia’s affections, leaning into his touch, and smiling up at him with kind eyes. They’ll also have a sweet heart, not wanting to spend any of his money. I stand with the Sugar Daddy Olivia movement, there’s no doubt that this man spoils his darling rotten. He spends money on you because he wants to, ‘cause it makes you flush and smile whenever he gives you a bouquet of flowers. But it makes his heart swell, seeing you flush and refuse, saying that it’s far too expensive and that he shouldn’t be spending money left and right. It’s not that they say this from a perspective of insecurity, but that they can’t imagine living a life of complete financial freedom. Of course, he’ll just assure them that he has all the money in the world, there’s nothing to worry about. Just let him take care of you! 

Dislikes: Anyone who doesn’t like Maria is dead in his book. If you don’t rock with his wife, then you don’t rock with him. I cannot imagine Olivia ever having another darling if it isn’t with Maria (in some type of poly relationship), or if she dies from her sickness. If Maria doesn’t like you, then there’s no way for the relationship to work. He needs both of his baby’s to be happy! And how can they both be happy if they’re fighting like cats and dogs? In most situations, Maria likely took an interest in you, and Olivia followed suit. I imagine that Maria doesn’t like many people, so to get on her good side is hella hard. IF you did, then you were probably really genuine, treating her like a normal person, and not the as the Unchainable’s Lover. You may have had some spunk to you, adding some snarky comments, but keeping it respectful and playful. From there, she was attracted to you and thought you were interesting, so she continued to request you (this is assuming that you work at the prison, or Olivia took Maria out somewhere idk). And the rest is history…

Jun Guevara 

Likes: Jun is a simple man with simple interests and wants, not to take away from his character or anything. Of course, as all humans are, he has complex thoughts and feelings, but he just chooses not to think about them too much. Now, that I say that, Jun doesn’t think, he just acts, listening to his feelings in the moment. That doesn’t mean he isn’t smart, his initial action is fueled and spurred on by his emotions, but is guided by his conscience. Because of this, Jun wants someone similar, a free-spirit if you will. Though he wouldn’t mind someone strong-willed, stubborn, or anxious, I think he’d match far better with someone who’s aloof, going with the flow, and speaking from the heart. They don’t think too deeply about things but aren’t stingy about expressing their inner thoughts and turmoil. They’re like an open book, and Jun respects that, finding it to be a breath of fresh air, something to look forward to. They’d have to be his peace in a sense, being his calm before the storm, voicing any ideas that they have without any inner motivation of taking advantage of him. Bonus points if they like the ocean or traveling, by sea preferably. 

Dislikes: Jun loathes those who are motivated by money and physical things, letting it dictate their decision-making, even if it causes others pain and suffering. These are the type of people that’d befriend someone well off just to sink their teeth into their neck like a leech, using them for what they’re worth before dropping them like they never existed. Jun finds these types of people to be corrupt, both mentally and in the way they lead their lives. For some reason, it brings some type of inner turmoil that he doesn’t want to address, and instead just acts on it, deciding to break, crush, and embarrass thoughts with such surface-level care. Another type of person Jun would hate is someone who liters, someone who doesn’t care for nature or those around them, and just lashes out, ruining the things around him. He finds a lack of care for nature to be an utter turn-off, something that’s also a corrupt way of living. So to put it in simple terms, I think that Jun greatly dislikes those who are sociopathic and act out of their own interests. 

inspired by: @iskratempestmadness

[cameronspecial]

The First Son And The First Spare

Pairing: FSOTUS!Rafe Cameron x Princess!Reader

Warnings:  Panic Attack, Swearing, Mentions of An Attempted Murder, and SMUT.

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 10.1K

Summary: Just because they are the children of world leaders, it doesn't mean that Y/N and Rafe have to like each other. But what happens when they have to get along with each other for the sake of their countries?

A/N: This is inspired by Red, White, and Royal Blue.

Masterlist

The traditional wedding march plays as Y/N watches her soon-to-be sister-in-law walk down the aisle. However, Y/N’s eyes can only see one person. She narrows in on the rude, egotistical, pain in her ass, who also happens to be the First Son of the United States. What she wouldn’t do to bash his head in with her bouquet? Unfortunately, it would be unbecoming of the Princess of England. Fiona finally makes it in front of Y/N’s brother, Prince George. The ceremony begins and Y/N feels as though time slows down. The only thing that can keep her sane is the hateful glares she sends Rafe. She prays no cameras to capture her un-Princess-like scowl. After an hour and fifteen minutes, George and Fiona kiss and leave the chapel. Y/N follows her siblings into the open air, catching Rafe’s gaze as she passes his pew. 

———

Greeting guests is one of Y/N’s duties for today as well as maintaining her family's reputation. While the newlyweds enjoy a moment in private, Princesses Y/N and Amelia exchange pleasantries with all the arriving guests. “I may not be into men, but I get why girls desperately fawn over him,” Amelia whispers to her sister while waiting for the Canadian Prime Minister and his wife to approach. Y/N addresses the foreign leader with a shake of her head before addressing her sister, “Thank you for coming, Prime Minister. Who are you talking about, Lia?” The younger girl’s flicks her eyes over to the next people in line. Y/N follows Amelia’s eyeline to Rafe. She lets out a low scoff, “You have to be insane to say that.” 

“Right, I forgot you have this irrational feud with him.” 

“It is not irrational. It is not my fault that he likes to bother me like a schoolboy. He is immature and a playboy.”

“Y/N/N, it’s called flirting. How can you not understand that he is delicious? I mean look at those ocean-blue eyes.”

“Being annoying is not flirting. I really do not understand the attraction of him. My Phelan is handsome and gentlemanly. That is attractive. Not whatever Rafe is.” 

Y/N shouldn’t lie to her sister, but she would rather be stuck in a room with her most conservative relatives than admit to finding Rafe hot. Little do the two royals know two children of a president are also having a similar conversation. “What did I do to Dad to make him send me here? He knows I hate England. Wheezie would kill to be here with you,” he mumbles to Sarah. She gives him a teasing smile, “You don’t hate this country. You hate the fact that one of its Princesses would rather be anywhere but near you.” “Please, I could care less about where Y/N wants to be,” he huffs, chancing a glance at the mentioned princess. “Funny how I didn’t need to mention her name for you to know who I was talking about. And before you try to argue, even if she likes girls, Amelia is a Princess, who can be places.” Sarah skips ahead of her brother without waiting for him to answer. He rushes after his sister to stand in front of the sisters of the groom.

“Sarah, it is lovely to see you again. Thank you for coming,” Y/N greets the First Daughter and sends her to Amelia. She turns to who is next in line, internally groaning once she sees him, “Rafe… Thank you for coming.” “What? It’s not lovely to see me, Princess?” Rafe taunts, feeling her fingers grip him tighter than necessary. She holds her head high and away from him, “You are meant to address me as Your Royal Highness.” She doesn’t say anything else; instead, she has her eyes set on the next people in line. Rafe walks toward the ballroom where the reception is being held. “How can someone so pretty have such a huge stick up her ass?” he grumbles under his breath. He thinks it goes unnoticed by everyone, yet Ms. Stick Up Her Ass hears it all. 

———

Y/N’s hands rest on Phelan’s shoulder and hand. They twirl around the room in time with the music, oblivious to Rafe’s stare. The lip of the glass meets his as he takes a sip of his drink. The rum burns his throat. He doesn’t get what she sees in Duke Phelan. The pompous ass looks like a massive buzzkill. Rafe doesn’t care though. Why would he? There is no care in him for the woman in Phelan’s arms. He must admit, when he first saw Y/N, fifteen-year-old him couldn’t believe she was as beautiful as her pictures. It was the first event he had to go to with his new presidential father and she was the only person there around his age. He was in anticipation of meeting her throughout the opening. Their meeting didn’t go how Rafe planned. He had no idea what he did to set Y/N off because he was only met with an icy gaze. It was nothing like the warm glow he saw her give other teens on television or even the adults today at the Olympics. “It is a pleasure to meet you,” she quips quickly. The words were polite; the tone was not. It differed greatly from how she addressed the others. From that day on, it left Rafe with so many questions and the only ability to return her behaviour. 

The song comes to an end and Phelan breaks away from her with a kiss on the cheek. “I must use the lavatory. I will be right back, Darling,” he informs her. She spends the time searching for a flute of champagne, heading to examine the cake her brother spent an exorbitant amount of pounds on once she found her drink. The flute is placed on the cake table. She doesn’t notice the other person waiting near the cake. “You looked so serious dancing up there. Do you ever have fun with that snooze,” Rafe comments, not turning in her direction. She rolls her eyes at him, allowing herself to go against decorum for him, “For your information, I have plenty of fun with Duke Phelan. Although, it is none of your business, sir.” He can detect her lies easily. He knows her tell. Her lies are given away by the slight tucking of her inner lip between her teeth. The minuscule tell keeps up with her royal appearance and is recognizable solely by people who know how to look for it. 

This is the longest they have gone without sarcasm dripping from their voices, so Rafe takes it as an opportunity to have a decent conversation with her. “Do you ever think about getting married?” he asks, giving her his attention for the first time since they started talking. She gives him a soft smile, “I do. I’ve always wanted a smaller wedding, even though it is virtually impossible because I am a royal. I imagine something more intimate, exchanging vows with the person whom I love. I could pretend for once that my whole country does not place me on a pedestal.” He doesn’t mock her for her dreams like she expected, which surprises her. Maybe, they can be civil with each other. She spots Phelan in the crowd and starts to make her way toward him. Rafe spots her champagne and gently places his hand on her shoulder to point it out to her. He overestimates his strength, causing her to stumble backwards from his pull. She slips on her dress and backpedals into Rafe, sending both of them flying into the giant white cake. The buttercream and sponge of the cake paint their skin and turn them into an abstract painting. Rafe tries to get out from under her. He slips on some icing and this causes him to fall on top of Y/N. She groans at his sudden weight hitting her ribs, placing her hands on his shoulder to push him off of her. He plops to his side at the same time that Phelan comes running to her.

Phelan hands her his handkerchief to wipe her hands off prior to him helping her up. Rafe wants to laugh at the ridiculous notion of getting her to clean up before she can be aided. If required to get her standing, he would’ve picked her up by her waist without a care for the cake getting on his suit. The handkerchief is handed to a waiter and Phelan brings Y/N to her feet. Rafe stands up with no help, going over to apologize to Y/N. “This is all your fault,” she grits through her teeth. She and Phelan make their exit for her to return to her spotless manner. 

———

“This is an absolute disaster, Y/N. We are supposed to be presenting a united relationship with the United States because of the upcoming deal the Prime Minister has with President Cameron,” her mother criticizes, showing the multiple headlines of the cake incident on the screen. Y/N’s head bows, “I am sorry, Mother. I will make a public apology to George and the public for wasting the money by destroying the cake.” “That will be added to the list of damage control. Nevertheless, that is not the main focus of this meeting. I called you here to inform you that you will be heading to America tomorrow,” Queen Isabel states, rounding her desk to sit in her chair. Y/N leans forward, “I am not sure I heard you correctly, Mother. Did you say that I am to be in America tomorrow?” “Yes, Y/N. You and Rafe shall pretend that you are actually the best of friends. You will appear at events and hold interviews together,” Isabel begins. “I do not care how much you both hate each other, you will act as if you love each other. Did I make myself clear?” Y/N nods at her mother’s warning, “Yes, Mother.” 

———

Y/N always prefers to fly commercial flights. Her mother rarely approves of such flights, except because this flight is not in the original travel budget for the year, a commercial flight was needed to stay within budget. It allowed Y/N to feel normal for once. She could people-watch without the stares of other people, not being recognized because of her coppery-brown wig. The different hair causes people to hesitate if they think she is her and they eventually chalk her up to being a look alike. The copper colour was chosen because it stood out but not too much. She spent her flight people-watching and reading over the dossier on Rafe. It doesn’t surprise her that he is studying Business at UNC-Chapel Hill, Ward after all comes from a business background. Even with the insistence of helping her from her bodyguards and assistant, Y/N persists in getting her bags herself. 

During the car ride, Drew, her bodyguard, quizzes her on Rafe for the upcoming interviews. “Where did he grow up?” Drew questions. Y/N doesn’t bat an eye, “Outer Banks, North Carolina. His father was from the Cut, which is the working-class side of the island, but with his developmental firm, he bought a house on Figure Eight, which is the wealthy side.” “You didn’t have to go through that whole backstory. You had it correct after the first sentence,” he notes. She gives him a knowing look, “You know I like to be thorough. Next question, we are almost at the White House.” “Right, who are his best friends?” Drew continues. She thinks about the question for a second, “Topper Thornton. Son of Dr. Cynthia Thornton and Cyrus Thornton, a lawyer. As well as Kelce Smith. Son of Linda Smith, CEO of Smith Enterprises, and Scott Smith, an investment banker.” “A very detailed answer as always,” he is about to come up with another question when the limo comes to a halt. “Your Royal Highness, we are here,” the chauffeur calls out from the front.

The car door swings open and Drew shuffles out of the car, holding out his hand for her. She brings her knees together and shifts her legs to hang out of the car. She looks around the North lawn to find it void of a certain presidential son. “You would think he would be here to greet his own guest,” she snarks when a fancy dark green car comes drifting dangerously close to her. Rafe exits the car with a smirk, “Don’t worry, Princess. You don’t have to be without my presence for very long.” She ignores his remark and pursues the Deputy Chief of Staff, Zahra, to where the interviews are being held. 

Y/N sits on the sofa with her back straight, which contrasts Rafe’s slouched position. The first interviewer arrives with a notepad and camera. “It’s nice to meet you, Your Highness and Mr. Cameron. I’m Esther Sparks from British Times,” Esther salutes, shaking both of their hands. “It is lovely to meet you,” Y/N returns with a smile. Rafe mocks her, “It IS lovely to meet you, Ms. Sparks.” He sends a devious smirk and she brings her eyelids close together. They answer generic questions about each other by different interviewers until they each ask one question that they both use to take turns to embarrass each other. “Tell us about the cake incident,” they would each press. 

“He very much wanted to try the cake.”

“She was so distracted by my beauty that she didn’t notice where she was walking.”

“He was very inebriated and he fell into the cake.”

“She was so jealous about her brother getting all of the attention.” 

Each answer received a laugh from the interviewers. During the final recording, the man behind the camera actually had a different eye-widening query. He lays out pictures from the wedding. “In all of these pictures, there is a fire within both of your eyes. Is there something more than a friendship that you have been hiding?” Rafe’s water spews all over the coffee table. Y/N hides her disgust whilst responding, “That is certainly incorrect. I am in a very happy relationship with Duke Phelan. Anything you have interpreted is not based on facts.” Only the camera captures the slight waiver of Rafe’s mouth into a frown as he processes her answer. Even he won’t admit it happened. 

———

Rafe waits by her bedroom door while she gets ready as ordered by Zahra. He didn’t want to escort the princess to the car, but Zahra argued that it would look good optics-wise if they went out to the car together. Right at twelve-forty-five, her door creaks to reveal the most laid-back outfit he has seen her in. She is wearing jeans with a plain pastel pink T-shirt. He has only ever seen her in formal pants, skirts or dresses. The most casual she has been in pictures is semi-formal. “Are you finished staring? We have somewhere to be,” she quips, leaving him to watch as her hair swishes from side to side. He chases after her and holds the door open to get brownie points with the media for being a gentleman. Once he catches up to her, he clarifies his reason for his earlier gaze. “I was staring because I didn’t know you owned jeans.” 

“I didn’t know you kept up with my wardrobe.”

“I… I don’t. You just always dress like you are going to a wedding or something.”

“Well, I’m sorry that I can’t always dress like I just rolled out of bed. I, for one, have to maintain my appearance.”

He chuckles at her retort, “Damn, look who finally got some good bite to her bark.” Her eyes form a circle and she has to stop the small stutter in her step when he opens each door they pass for her. He has to admit he really does like her new style. She looks more relaxed and comfortable. They both slide into the car, waiting patiently to arrive at the hospital. 

———

How can someone so rude be so good with children? They all sit in front of Rafe, listening to him read from the storybook. He would change his voice for different characters and the hand not holding the book would gesture wildly. The moment would be interrupted if she tried to join in on the reading, so she silently observed the scene. He really does enjoy entertaining the children. They feed off of his relaxed demeanour and return it back to him. A toddler waddles up to her, leaning back against her knees. She hasn’t exactly interacted with a lot of children, so she doesn’t know what to do with him. At this time, Rafe finishes his book and glances at the uncomfortable look on her face. He leans in, letting his lips meet the shell of her ear. “He wants to sit on your lap. Pick him up by the waist and put him on your lap.” She gives him a hesitant look, doing as he instructs. She struggles a little and Rafe helps her by gently pushing the boy onto her lap. The young child is satisfied with the result. He turns into her hold, sucking his thumb with his head in her neck.

A thought pops into Rafe’s mind that makes him reevaluate his life. Y/N holding the toddler brings up the image of her doing the same with their own children. To have those thoughts, he would have to like her and that can’t be right. He can’t have feelings for Y/N. He doesn’t even know her last name. She speaks like an old person all the time and she can’t stand him. This must be a mistake. A trick of his brain. Because there is no way that he is falling for her.

———

After a successful afternoon of spending time with children in the pediatric unit, Y/N and Rafe are heading back to the car. A pop sounds throughout the room and Y/N docks for cover in a panic. Rafe reacts on instinct, using his body to shield the crouching Y/N. Drew rushes the two public figures into a storage closet and orders them to stay there until he comes to get them. Her breathing starts to quicken, feeling like she can’t get enough air into her lungs. He hears the gasps she lets out and he grows concerned. She must be having a panic attack, yet he doesn’t know what to do. He hesitates in bringing her head to his chest and he demonstrates his controlled breathing. “In. Out. In. Out,” he mumbles, cupping her ear to muffle the commotion outside. She mimics his pattern. Her feet take a step back, “Thank you.” “No problem. I didn’t know you got panic attacks triggered by loud noises. It’s not in your file,” he voices. She shrugs, “I do not desire it to be public knowledge. It does not uphold a royal’s controlled behaviour.” “Did… did you want to talk about it?” he offers, sitting against the shelving unit.

“During my first royal tour, I was five, a gunman tried shooting my mother. In the chaos, I was knocked to the floor whilst everyone around me tried moving away,” she begins to recount. “I remember how much it hurt to feel the toes of everyone’s shoes hit against my skin. I was so scared I was not going to be found. However, I was more terrified of going back to a family that no longer had a mother. I had no idea what happened to her.” Tiny globs of water form in the corner of her eyes and he pulls her in for a hug. “Since then, loud sounds remind me of that day,” she explains. The mood in the closet holds a dark cloud over both of them. Their arms fall to the ground and their fingers gently brush against each other. He can’t think of a way of cheering her up; therefore, he tries to cheer her up by moving the conversation along.

“Why do you always sound like you have a stick up your ass?”

She chokes a little on a laugh, “What is it with you and sticks up my arse?”

“It’s always funny to get a princess to say ass.”

“That is very immature. And to answer your question, I may be the second born but I am still the first spare. If god forbid something happens to my brother or he chooses not to have a baby. I would be up to bat. No one wants a normal queen. They want an exceptional one.”

“That sounds like a lot of pressure.”

“It is but it is the pressure I was born to handle.” 

There is strength within her, except he can see how this expectation is chipping away at her. His pinky reaches for hers to provide comfort, “You may be born into the pressure, but it doesn’t mean you should have to deal with it by yourself.” Before she can answer, the door opens and the both of them jump apart. Drew’s eyebrows almost met his hairline at the sight of the pair. “The scene has been assessed and it is safe, Your Royal Highness. It was a child who brought a firework for his friend. No plans of harming you or Rafe,” Drew shares, holding his hand out for Y/N to take. The connection of her hand with another man’s causes jealousy to burn in Rafe’s stomach. 

———

Rafe felt victorious once he finally got Y/N to use a contraction. It was over text, but it still counted. Ever since the day at the hospital, they have been texting each other. He had asked Zahra for the princess’ number because he missed being snarky with her after she left for home. He hates how his heart tickles upon seeing her contact name pop up in a notification. Princess. His hand reaches for his phone, not being able to hold his smile in. If this photographer tells me to smile bigger one more time, then I’m going to cut my lips off and staple them to his camera. Rafe chuckles at her gruesomeness. It was surprising to him when Y/N divulged her love of gruesome movies. He couldn’t believe the prim and proper princess of England enjoyed the sight of bloody murders. It wasn’t just any kind of horror movie though. It was slasher movies that she fancied the most. She said it relaxes her, which only slightly concerned him. Come on, Princess. All he wants to do is see your pretty smile. 

She sees the flash of her lock screen with a notification. She can’t respond because the photographer snaps his fingers to catch her attention. Rafe is going to have to wait. After the photoshoot is over, Y/N gets changed into her sweatpants and jumper. She remembers she has to respond to his text, so she calls him instead. “Are my ears deceiving me? Is Princess Y/N actually calling me?” he teases, lying back down in his bed. He was about to get ready for the day; this was better. She shakes her head, “I am. Not because I want to talk to you, I need to work on my American accent. I’m planning on running for President. You know so I can actually be the ruler of a country.” 

“I’m hurt, Princess. And here I thought you liked me.” 

“There are a lot of words I would use to describe you, Rafe. Bring liked by me is not one of them.”

“I beg to differ. If you didn’t like me, then why are we talking right now?” 

“Because I am bored and for some reason, I keep getting texts from you.” 

A knock comes at his door before it is opened by Wheezie. “Dad needs to see you,” she relays the message. His head flicks up to acknowledge her and he moves his phone away from his mouth, “Okay, I’ll be down in a second.” A pout forms on Y/N’s mouth. “Aww, you have to go. But we literally just started talking.” “I know. I’m sorry, Princess. I think it is a good thing though. The more you talk to me, the more and more you sound like a commoner,” he jokes. She huffs, “Haha, I’m sorry that I no longer sound like I have a stick up my arse. I bet it’s disappointing for you.” “You really are getting better at sounding more human. I’m proud, Princess,” he lets out a disappointed sigh. “I have to go now. Bye.” With no other choice, he hangs up the call to go talk to his dad. 

———

After months of texting and calling, Y/N and Rafe are going to be in the same room again. Rafe is hosting his annual New Year's Eve party. All the most prominent children in the world are going to be in attendance, so, of course, Y/N would be in attendance as well. Rafe and she are on familiar terms with each other; nonetheless, she is dreading the party. The holiday season involves being cattled to different events to boost the family name and Y/N is exhausted. Any other year, New Year's Eve would be the pause in the season she needs. This year is different because of the cake incident. To make matters worse, she obviously misinterpreted the type of event this is because she is very overdressed. Her black and white plaid knee-length polyester skirt matches her blazer and with her long-sleeve button-up, she is burning up. Rafe can spot her easily in the crowd. Her outfit makes her stand out more and he loves it. He likes being able to quickly locate her. 

The dancing people part to create an easy path for him. He reaches her with a smile. “I’m glad you came, Princess. I was beginning to think you weren’t coming,” he taunts, kissing her cheek as a welcome. A whirlpool stirs in her stomach. Her hand grips her forearm, “Yep. I’m sorry I’m late. There was a delay on my flight. I also overestimated the dress code and now, I feel silly.” His head moves from side to side with a comforting look. “Don’t feel silly, you look beautiful. And hey, you’re using contractions so you fit right in,” he promises, a warm hand resting on hers. 

He can see through the smile she offers. It doesn’t reach her eyes, which are slightly glazed over with bags just peeking through her concealer. His mood matches hers because suddenly his happiness depends on how she is feeling. “You look tired, Princess. Is everything alright?” he presses, stepping closer so his mouth is near her ear. Her head darts up, “Yeah, I’m peachy. A little jet lagged though.” He catches the way her bottom lip appears to be microscopically pitched between her teeth. “Come on, Princess. I don’t like it when you lie to me. So please tell me what’s wrong,” he implores. She exhales, “No offence, I really don’t want to be here. New Year’s Eve is the time that I get a break from being paraded around like a float. I can settle down in my room by myself in comfy clothes and as many movies as I want.” The corner of her lips droop downwards. “Why don’t we do that then?” he suggests, holding his hand out. Her breath hitches at his proposal, “You can’t leave your own party, Rafe.” “Ehh, it’s dead anyway. Let’s go,” he insists, tugging her out of the tent and into the White House.

His room is exactly as she imagined, although with fewer Playboy posters than she thought he would have. The sheets of his bed are crisply made and a peek in his walk-in closet shows clothes hanging at an equal distance from one another. Everything is pristine and in place, which isn’t surprising for the man she got to learn more about. He guides her onto the bed and leaves a pillow-width distance between them. The click of the remote causes the screen to light and he pulls up Scream. As the clock tickets toward midnight, the pair watch one slasher film from the franchise after the other. “Okay, I get why she stays in America in the second movie. No one expects to get chased after a serial killer again. But if it were to happen to me a second time, you bet your ass that I would be moving to a remote island somewhere after the second time,” Y/N fills the silence. 

He chortles, “I’m with you on that. How many times does Sidney need to get chased by a Ghostface killer before she leaves civilization? What would you bring to your remote island?” “Horror movies, a Swiss army knife and you,” she rattles off mindlessly. His head swivels toward her, “Me? What about your amazing boyfriend?” “I love him. I do. He just isn’t great with survival skills. I would die immediately if we were deserted,” she clarifies, reaching for the popcorn they popped earlier tonight. He nods, “Right. I’m from the Outer Banks, so I can fish and shit.” “Yes, you can. Ooh, look. It’s almost midnight. Change it to the countdown please,” she implores, accidentally pressing her breasts against his chest to grab the remote for him. He takes the remote out of her hand; their warm hands brush each other to make both of their breaths hitch. She pulls away as he switches the TV to display the New York Countdown. The crowd of people on the screen starts to count, watching as the ball descends. 

Rafe observes how the glow of the screen lights up her face. Her voice fills in with the partygoers. He is drawn to the way her lips move. They are stained a reddish mauve that makes him wonder what it would look like smeared on the skin around his mouth. The colour makes her lips even more kissable. He has to remind himself they don’t belong to him, yet he needs to know what they feel like on his. Fireworks go off at midnight and Rafe has to take this chance while he has the excuse of a midnight kiss. The pads of his digits face her head toward him. He leans forward and their lips meet. His mind searches for signs that she doesn’t want this. A push of his chest. A shake of her head. A yell of no. They don’t come. Instead, her lips move against his. The peck he was going to give her is reworked into something deeper.

She can’t be mad at him kissing her without any warning. She saw him leaning in for the kiss and had ample time to turn him away. He would definitely respect if she said it wasn’t what she wanted. This is wrong; she has a boyfriend. Nevertheless, her brain screams that it wants to know if his lips are as rough as she thinks they are. The contact of their mouths causes her to part her two petals. He matches her actions and slots his kisser against hers. The roughness isn’t what she expected; it’s less than she imagined. His hands maneuver to her hips to shift her onto his lap. She twines her hand in the field of his hair. Even if she isn’t pressing hard, she can feel the rock forming in his pants against the growing wetness of her pussy. The moment they are sharing creates a fire within her, akin to the one he normally builds. The difference with this one is that it is fueled by passion. Her head is woozy and she believes she needs this feeling to breathe. Being with Phelan isn’t like this. What she has with her boyfriend is soft like a cool breeze. It doesn’t spark this desire for more. It doesn’t have her chasing after it.

This makes her realize how wrong this is. She isn’t with Rafe. She shouldn’t sense the urge to be consumed by him, so she has to pull away. The tint of her lipstick coats his pale skin and he is wearing it with pride. The corners of his piehole droop like a wet towel. Her head wavers from side to side, “I should go. I’m really tired.” She swings off of him and gathers her things before dashing out the door. Leaving Rafe to wonder if he has ruined everything they had and possibly could have. 

———

Going back to no contact absolutely destroys Rafe. The kiss clarified everything for him. He loves her and maybe his crush on her from when he was fifteen never went away in the first place. After running his fingers through his hair in frustration for not following her out, he took a picture of the way her lipstick was practically tattooed onto his skin. This vision deserves to be remembered forever. The flowery scent of her perfume is imprinted in his memory. He flicks through the pictures as he listens to Zahra go over the different events he needs to attend in the following month. In the most non-creepy way, he wishes he had more candid pictures of Y/N. The only ones he has of her are the professional photos that show none of her personality. She looks so poised and stiff, which doesn’t show the whole of her. “Rafe, Rafe. Are you listening to me?” Zahra criticizes. He slams the phone down on the counter; nothing would be more embarrassing than getting caught looking at a picture of himself. 

He has no idea how to hide his lack of attention, “Uhh, you were talking about… How I need to go to LA?” “Stop looking at naked girls on your phone. I was talking about how you are going to go to the UK again for Prince George’s Charity Polo Match,” the Chief exasperates. His interests are piqued and he scrambles out of the meeting with Zahra calling after him. He is furiously typing on his phone. Hey, I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked. I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to be at your brother’s Polo Match, so hopefully we can talk. He hits the arrow to send the text and listens to the whoosh it lets out. It doesn’t take long for the sent under the bubble to change into read. It disappoints him that no bubbles follow the change. He doesn’t know why he thought she would respond.

———

Phelan sits beside Y/N in the Royal box with his fingers laced between hers. Thousands of eyes are probably on her, yet she can only feel one burning into her skin. She glimpses at him and their orbs encounter each other. “I need to talk to you,” he mouths to her. She disregards his attempt to speak to her and faces her boyfriend. Her lips plant on Phelan’s cheeks and his cheeks redden like a cherry. She moves to the shell of his ear, “Maybe you can meet me in the equipment shed in a few minutes. I have the urge to engage in coitus.” Phelan and Y/N are never spontaneous or lustful with their sexual intercourse. Phelan prefers the privacy of one of their beds and to be the one on top. While his slow pace is sweet, it can lead to Y/N feeling a little unfulfilled by the experience and makes her wonder what more is out there. She thought that maybe this could be the opportunity for that. Phelan leans away from her with a taken-aback look on his face. “We most certainly must not do so. We are in public and it would be inappropriate,” he scolds like she is a child. The hope on her face drops and she decides she needs to get some air. She excuses herself from her sits, heading to the equipment shed as she had originally planned. 

The hut is empty and smells of the hay tracked in by the riders, who were returning their equipment. Peace fills her soul. Finally, a moment without the stares of everyone on her. The rolls of the wheels cause her to turn toward the door. Is Phelan surprising her? Her teeth flash to the entering figure; they hide once she sees who it is. “What are you doing here?” she murmurs to him, not connecting their gaze. He closes the door and remains where he is standing. He fears she will feel trapped by him. “We haven’t talked since New Year’s Eve,” he expresses. She acknowledges his statement, “I am aware of that fact.” She keeps her sentences short. “I know I shouldn’t have kissed you. I’m sorry,” he apologizes with his hand on the back of his neck. 

Her head bobs up and down, “Okay, I accept.” He waits to see if she will add anything. Her silence lasts. “So that’s it. I make one mistake and we can’t be friends. I get that I made it uncomfortable and I’m not trying to say it is your fault, but you kissed me back too,” he points out, taking a step forward. She stares at him, “I should not have done that. I did not enjoy it.” A longing look fills his eyes and his head dips to be close to her ear. “Then why did you grip my hair so tightly.” Her eyes flit to his lips and she can’t contain herself. She throws her arms around his neck, pulling his face to hers. He groans at finally being able to feel her against him again. His hands bring her flush against him by the waist. He asks for permission to enter her mouth with a swipe of his tongue along her bottom lip. She allows him in with a slight moan. Their feet glide on the floor and she presses him up against the door. Being in control of this situation built a fire inside of her that she didn’t know could exist. No matter how hard or how much their lips are together, she feels like it will never be enough. A loud shout from outside snaps her back to reality and she can’t believe she did this against. Once again, she leaves him alone. 

However, this time, he isn’t going to let her run off again without talking about what happened. He chases after her, losing her in the crowd. When he finds her again, he can’t manage to get her alone. As the event comes to an end, she is rushing off back to Kensington Palace with her sister. 

———

He couldn’t let her go another time, especially since he was already in England. It was pretty easy to get into Kensington Palace when Amelia was such a big fan of him. “Let him through, Conrad. I like him,” she orders, beckoning Rafe into the palace grounds once the guard at the gate moves out of the way. “Thanks,” he says as they walk inside. She flashes him a smile, “You’re welcome. I’m secretly hoping you and Y/N get together. I already know you guys have kissed so we are almost there.” “Your sister told you about that?” he inquires with hope. If Y/N told her sister about the moment, then she is at least acknowledging it happened. Amelia shakes her head, “No, I can just tell though. She’s my sister. I have to go, but good luck!” She heads in the other direction, leaving Rafe to search for Y/N’s room. 

He finds it and knocks gently on the door. She calls out for him to enter. Her room is exactly as he expected. It is completely void of her amazing personality. The pristine appearance fits perfectly with the aesthetic that the royal employees push onto her. He wishes she would be allowed to plaster horror movie posters around the room. He wishes he could help her litter the room with pictures. Maybe they could’ve been of them on dates or kissing or being in each other's company. The political books on the shelves should be of the smutty romance books he has caught her reading when they were first getting to know each other. The room definitely needs more colour. 

She is sitting at her desk, staring him down. “Why are you here?” He walks over to her, “I’m tired. Tired of you always running off after we kiss, so we can’t talk to each other.” “Both times were a mistake. I have Phelan and I am perfectly happy. I do not want to see you anymore, so please leave,” she argues. His head moves from side to side, “No. Because we need to talk about it. I know we both felt that spark and we can’t just ignore it.”

“There was no spark. And even if there was, then why would it matter?”

“Why does the spark matter? It matters because we love each other and we deserve to give us a chance.”

“I am in love with Phelan.”

Rafe chuckles, “Really?” He towers over her; his breath hitting her neck as he brings his lips to ghost the skin of it. “So he satisfies you? With his kisses? With his touches? With his dick?” He kisses down her neck with each question and she knows she should move away, except she doesn’t. She craves the feeling of his lips and wonders the type of pleasure he can bring her. “We can’t be together,” she informs, thinking about what her mother wants for her future. A future that features marrying Duke Phelan. He disagrees, “Why not? Give me one good reason.”

“My mother says I have to marry Phelan.”

“I said give me a good reason. Aren’t you tired of doing what everyone else wants? If you had to be selfish about one thing, shouldn’t it be with who gets your heart?” 

“And what would you do with my heart?” 

“I would help you kindle the fire that burns in it. I would show you that you deserve to be treated as more than just a spare. Because you are your own person, Princess, and that merits the freedom of choosing who you marry.”

His tone drips with care and it squeezes at her heart. Beside her sister, he is the only person who can see past her royal side. “And who should I choose to marry? You?” she teases, placing a hand on his chest to steady her slightly dizzy head. His shoulders rise to his ears, “Maybe. I mean if you want to. Not know though. In the distant, distant future.” His cheeks redden at the thought and he rubs the back of his neck. “You’re right. I want to give you my heart,” she mutters to him. “I also really want to kiss you.” He takes this as an invitation to lean in. She stops him with a finger to his lips. “We can’t do that again until I break up with Phelan. It isn’t fair to him,” she tells him. He nods, “Right, right. I’ll text you the hotel I’m staying at. Come over when you do what you have to do.” 

“Okay, I’ll be over as soon as I can.” 

“Sounds good. Also, don’t think that I haven’t noticed you started using contractions again. But you know what would sound even better?” 

She giggles, “Get your ass out of here so I can go break up with Phelan.” 

———

Breaking up with Phelan felt like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders. He didn’t understand why she wanted to call it quits on them but eventually came around to the idea. She left him alone to cry into his pillow and went to Rafe’s hotel. She had one stop to go to first. She leaves the store wearing her newly acquired purchase and bounces in her seat while she is being driven to Rafe. She practically falls out of the car and rushes to the elevator. As soon as he opens the door, she attacks him with a kiss. Their lips separate with a grin and they laugh at her lipstick smudge on him. “In case, it isn’t clear. I want to be with you because you make me feel the most alive I ever have before. Like I can be myself with you and I won’t disappoint you,” she murmurs against his lips. Rafe grips her into his arms and drags her into his room, “You could never disappoint me. You are the most amazing person I have ever met.” They continue the kiss as he falls back onto the bed with her on top of him. 

Her hands go to the buttons on his shirt and start popping them out of their holes. She tugs his shirt off of him, not breaking their kiss to do so. His arms rest at the hem of her shirt and he breaks the kiss. “We don’t have to do this. I know it might be a little early. We can just watch a movie or get something to eat,” he offers. She shakes her head, “I need you, Rafe. Please, make me feel good.” His dick strains against his pants at her pleas. He loves the neediness in her voice. “Your wish is my command, Princess.” He rids her of her shirt and he almost drools at the sight before him. 

Her breasts are barely contained by the dark red lace cupping it. The material barely kisses the top of her nipples. Y/N was nervous about buying this for Rafe; however, with the way he was staring at her, she determined she chose correctly. This set makes her feel confident and sexy, which contrasts with what Phelan prefers for her to wear. It was always soft pink and covered her assets completely. Very feminine and cute. She prefers this feeling over that. She gets up off of his lap to slide off her pants and he takes off his. She has to stop herself from drooling at the size of his length. Even though she has never done it before, she wants to know what he feels like in her mouth. She drops to her knees and hesitantly reaches out for his cock. He can sense her doubt, “You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to, Princess.” “No! I want to. I just never done this before,” she reveals, dropping her hand down to her side. His eyes widen, “You’ve never had sex? You should’ve told me this was your first time, Princess. I would’ve made it more special.” “I’ve had sex. It’s just… Phelan’s idea of foreplay is running a finger through my folds and then squirting lube on his dick before he pushes into me, missionary style,” she explains. 

He gives her a soft smile, “I’m sorry he never made you feel as good as he should’ve. I’ll make sure you get to experience everything you want to. But that is going to be the last time you think about him because the only man you are allowed to think of is me.” He joins her on the floor and guides her onto the bed. He looks up at her, “I want to show you how good foreplay feels and then I can show you how to give me a blow job. Is that okay?” She bobs her head and butterflies fill her stomach. He takes off her matching lacey thong and her legs spread for him. She can’t wait to fill his lips against her pussy, so she eagerly shoves his face into her heat. His chuckles send vibrations through her core and she throws her head back at the feeling. He sucks on her clit, flicking his tongue at it whilst he does so. 

She doesn’t know what to do with her hands, so she threads them through his hair. After a few more sucks, he moves his tongue into her hole. He laps at it like she is his final meal. “Do you like how this feels, Princess? Am I making you feel good?” he seeks her assurance as if her moans and pulls aren’t enough of an answer. She brings him back to her, “So good. More, please, Rafe.” He continues his assault on her pussy and goes back to devouring her. She screams at the feeling, grinding against his face. His hands find her hips and hold her down against the mattress. He presses his face further into her. He can fill her walls trying to grip onto his tongue, so he gives her a finger to cling to. She tightens around him as he moves his finger in and out of her, using his mouth to stimulate her clit. She adjusts to the finger and he uses another finger to stretch her out some more. This is when she starts to contract around him and a knot starts to build in her stomach. Her back arches as she pulls his hair, “I’m going to come.” Her words motivate Rafe more and he speeds up his motion to bring her to her high. Her walls relax against him and he pulls out of her. “Look at my princess all wet for me. I’m so proud of you. You want to know what you taste like because you taste fantastic,” he praises. Wonder fills her and she moves his head to hers. She can taste herself on his lips. 

He comes to stand between her legs as they make out and she can feel his hard length against her pussy. She parts their lips, looking down at his hips. His dick stands tall against the bottom of his stomach. “Can I suck you off now?” she asks in a small voice. He twitches at the thought of her mouth around him, “Of course, you can, Princess. You start off doing what you think is right and I’ll tell you what I like.” He helps her stand, grabbing a pillow off of his bed for her to kneel on. Her knees rest against the soft cushion. She gently takes him into her hand and examines every inch of him. The veins running up and down his cock call to her. Her tongue sticks out from the cavern of her mouth and she traces along them. She moves from the base of his penis up to his tip. 

The tiny slit on the tip is oozing with pre-cum and she kisses it. Salt fills her mouth. She peppers it with another kiss before trying to take him into her mouth completely. He hits the back of her throat and she has to pull away with a cough. Rafe lets out a low laugh. He cups her cheek and keeps her off of him for a second. “Look at my eager princess, who just wants to make me feel good with her mouth. You need to sle help you.” His hands go to theow down a little. Don’t want you hurting yourself. Here, let m back of her head and slowly direct her back onto him. With the more controlled movement, she can get a better hold of her breathing. “See, there you go. You are doing so much better. Breath through your nose, Princess,” he advises. She follows his instructions and this helps her get farther down his cock without the need to come out for air. She isn’t able to take his full size, so he continues to aid her in handling what she can fit. His dick starts to spasm inside of her mouth and he tries to remove himself from her mouth. She doesn’t let him. She grips his wrists to stop his attempt and her head continues to bobble against him until ropes of his cum release into her mouth. She swallows the salty substance and drops him out of her mouth. 

She licks her lips to gather whatever is pooled around her mouth. He yanks her to his feet and brings her lips to his again. He unhooks her bra, throwing it somewhere in the room. He kisses down her neck to her nipple and starts playing with the bud with his tongue. She moans at the feeling. He uses a hand to give attention to the other nipple. The manipulation grows wetness in between her legs again. Her hand goes to try and relieve the tension. His grip halts her movement, “Nuh-uh. The next time you come again is going to be on my cock, Princess.” He spins them around, so he can flop onto the bed. “Come ride me, Princess. Take what you want.” Lava must be running through her veins because she has never been more turned on by something. 

She straddles his waist and her hand goes between their bodies. The tip of his dick finds her entrance thanks to her help. She sinks onto his girth with her head thrown back. She can feel every single inch of him thanks to the position and he is hitting places within her she didn’t know existed. She anchors to his hilt, staying still so she can adjust to the feeling. “God, how can you feel this good?” she questions as she starts to raise her hips. Rafe chortles, “Because you are doing so well for me, Princess.” His tip remains inside of her before she slams herself back down of her. This is so much more different than she is used to and she loves it. She gets to set the pace. She gets to determine how hard it is. She knows Rafe doesn’t want her to think about Phelan, but she can’t help but curse him for never letting her experience this. He can tell she is driving pleasure from the harsh piercing of his cock, so he decides to show her how much better it can get. His hand grips her waist and he keeps her still. His hips buck up into her with all of his force. She lets out a pleasured scream as she jerks forward. Her hand lands on his bare chest and her nails start digging crescents into his skin. 

“God, Rafe. Keep going,” she begs between moans. Rafe grins up at her, “You like that, Princess? You like it when my dick drills into you? What do you think the people of England would say if they saw their beloved princess likes to be fucked like a dirty whore?” “I love it so much, Rafe. Please, let me move,” she requests. Rafe’s grasp on her loosens a little and he helps lead her down his shaft. The combination of both their movements gets him to hit her G-spot repeatedly. She starts to constrict and a bud of pressure starts to form in her stomach. Rafe’s thumb presses onto her clit, moving in a circular motion to intensify her enjoyment. 

The tension of her walls around him causes him to spasm inside of her. She senses that his end is near; regardless, she doesn’t get him to pull out. She wants to experience everything that he has to offer. He is brought over the edge before her and he doesn’t think about removing himself from her as he does so. She can feel his seeds seeping into her, continuing her descent onto him to come too. His pace doesn’t let up and his thumb presses harder into her clit. “You can do it, Princess. Come for me. Show me how tight you can get for me,” he demands. The bud inside of her finally blooms into a flower and she comes undone around him. She drops so their chests are pressed against each other. Their drive doesn’t stop, just slows down until they have both finished coming down from their high. They clutch to each other like a baby koala to a mother koala. He smoothes her sweaty hair back with a kiss on her forehead. “You did so good,” he whispers his applause. “I am so proud of you. You made me feel so good. Did you like it, Princess?” She nods in his hold and kisses his collarbone, “I loved it. I’ve never felt like that during sex before.” “Well, that’s a damn shame. Whoever left you unsatisfied didn’t deserve you,” he notes.

The couple hold each other for a few minutes, taking in the serenity of being together at last. He slips out of her and they both feel the rush of their fluid out of her. She monitors as he moves around the room. She can hear the bathtub begin to run and he returns to place her into the warm water. Y/N scoots forward to let him in behind her. He rests her back against his chest and interweaves their fingers. The silence is good for their voices after all the noise they make during sex. “Why did you hate me before we even said a word to each other?” he ponders out loud. 

She shifts in his hold and rests the back of her head on his shoulder. Her shoulders meet her ears, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” She can feel the outburst in his chest as laughter emits from his mouth. “Don’t play stupid with me, Princess. I’m talking about how I almost got frostbite when you first set eyes on me.” 

“Right, that. You are going to think I was a little ridiculous or hate me for what I tell you.” 

“I promise I won’t. I just want to know what triggered our four-year feud. You know so that I don’t make the same mistake with the next princess I meet and I can bed her faster than four years.”

She giggles and slaps the arm wrapped under her armpits. Her mood changes at the remembrance of the topic she is about to disclose. “I hated you because you had a dad,” she speaks out into the world. His arm close in around her some more to provide her with comfort. He kisses her cheek, “Princess, everyone, at least biologically, has a dad.” “I know. Except, you had a dad when I just lost mine. I didn’t want to go to the Olympics that year. It would’ve been filled with too many memories of the person I lost because my dad used to take me,” she clarifies. “And I was right. Everything reminded me of my dad. It hurt too much to be there. However, I had to maintain my composure because the world was watching and when I saw that you were there with your dad treating you like how my dad used to treat me, I envied what you had.” He nods to show that he is still listening. “It was a stupid thing to get upset at. It’s not like you had any control over it. Then, you reciprocated my attitude and I guess we got into a vicious cycle.” He plays with her fingers, “I see, I’m sorry that you felt that way and that I didn’t give you a chance before being rude to you too. I knew you lost your father and I didn’t think about that. “You don’t need to apologize. I guess this whole thing is just a miscommunication,” she makes it out to be what it truly is. Rafe’s chin digs and lets up from her head, “Yeah, I’m just glad we cleared everything up. I love you.” “Me too. I love you too,” she concurs. 

They get out of the water and wrap themselves in the fluffiest robes. Their hands are connected as they head back into the bedroom. They flop down onto the bed and he loses himself in his thought. She rests her head against his chest, “What are you thinking about?” “I hate your room,” he articulates. She lifts her face to look at him, “Why?” “Because it doesn’t have any of your beautiful personality. I mean where were your smutty books? Where were your Scream posters? Where were the other colours of the rainbow?” he justifies. Her head falls back onto his chest, “Apparently all of those things don’t match the palace’s aesthetic.” “That’s stupid. I’m going to help you add some life into your room and we can start with some of my sweaters. I want to leave you with some piece of me when I go back home,” he informs. Her eyes find the bright blue sweater hanging in his open closet. Her heart skips a beat at his offer. “I like the sound of that. I have a feeling you are going to get me in so much trouble,” she thinks out loud. “I am. I’m going to turn you into such my rebellious princess.” 

Taglist: @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @tv3verett

[respectthepetty]

Elyes is rich, toxic, and egotistical. He also crosses the line every chance he gets.

He is the title character of Bad Guy My Boss, but he isn't even bad. He just has one brain cell, and it's in the wrong head. *wink* PENDEJO!

He is a Black Brooder who wants his Happy Human secretary.

But he has no idea how to actually get a guy since most men just throw themselves at him, so all he really knows how to do is boss Pat around.

And now he is going into extreme boss mode by demanding the most outrageous stuff (because he is a pendejo!).

But he is failing to realize that his behavior is simply making Pat darker.

Although I fully believe Pat is wearing black here because he does love Elyes, the barrier between them is thick and heavily on Pat's side!

Even when Elyes tries to bring them closer in his little frame,

Pat pushes him away and the barrier comes back up on Pat's side.

Not only is Pat placing boundaries with Elyes, he is also reflecting on his position because even though Pat loves his boss, does he want to be another name on the roster like all these other men he is buying gifts for and scheduling appointments for booty calls with Elyes?

And even more, Elyes is in a relationship with his company, so does Elyes even really care about Pat or does he only care that Pat is good for the company?

Elyes is the bright light of Pat's life.

Pat's entire life revolves around him because Elyes is the center of his universe.

But it doesn't mean he wants to be in that world with him anymore.

So as much I love the shoe shots of Elyes stepping up,

The visuals are making it clear that Elyes is crossing Pat's boundaries in his attempt to get closer.

So even though the episode ended with what looked like Pat and his barrier dissolving under Elyes's kiss,

I don't think he was moving his hand on Elyes's arm because he was falling into the kiss, but so he could get a better grasp to push him away since the barrier quickly reappeared.

Because the director is Term, who also directed Chains of Heart, and that show, if anything, was a visual buffet of barriers, boundaries, and bars, so I feel confident that the barriers are intentional in this show as well.

So I'm here for the visuals.

And people crossing the line.

In more than one way.

[i-may-be-an-emu]

TELL ME ABOUT THE MEN!!!!!!

HELLO!!!

GLADLY :DD

THE MEN. :)

They’re called shoot from the hip (sfth) and are @shootimpro on youtube, tiktok, instagram, facebook, x/twitter, as well as on linktree, patreon and ko-fi.

They’re London based but have done shows outside london like in Scotland (Edinburgh Fringe) and even to Spain. They want to hopefully go to other countries in the future too!!

From left to right they’re Sam, Tom, AJ and Luke :)))

(this will probably be LONG so putting a read more lol)

Ok so they do improvised comedy and their shows have two halves (generally with a break in the middle) they play lots of short drama games in the first half and then improvise 20-30 minute (on average) plays in the second half, sometimes with another game at the end.

The plays are so much fun (they’ve got 38 of them up on youtube so far!!) and they’ve also released two full specials (full shows) which you can find on their channel :)

(just a note that for a few of the older ones (apart from the first one) they were filming on an iphone and just projecting their voices, the the audio and image quality can be hard to deal with)

they have SO MUCH CONTENT because during covid they did zoom-style improv shows with eachother and you can watch them as a patreon

they also have SO MANY VIDEOS that are just the regular public ones!!!! They upload short ones of the games and some 5-10min ones of the games too, as well as the long forms (plays)

Now some info about the guys :D

Samuel Thomas Russell-Holmes:

Birthday 21st July 1989 (35)

Married this year and expecting a baby!!! :)

wears a red flannel a LOT (less recently, but still a LOT, it’s his Thing)

he says some very risky things sometimes but also has the audacity to look shocked when the others do it lol

Fav colour is green

he’s 5”10

brown eyes

currently producing a radio show for the bbc called wing it (available in December!)

if he were a Disney Princess he said he’d be Rapunzel

VERY GOOD AT ANIMAL (specifically goat/sheep) NOISES

kisses Luke a lot lol (kisses all of them a lot, but specifically Luke- I counted like the madman that I am lol)

great at talking in Spanish gibberish, often paired with opening his shirt buttons

loves fantasy things

wrote an audiobook called “Evergreen”

his mother and grandfather are/were successful actors

Has a drama degree

Low spice tolerance

has eaten raw egg live on camera

can be a tad egotistical but we love him

Thomas Mayo-Woodman/Hodgson-Mayo:

HES SO TALL (this man is almost 2m tall- he’s 6”5.5 :0)

brown eyes

his birthday is 10th July 1989 (35)

Married to a drag king (@pipdream on insta, tiktok, youtube, ect.) who’s pronouns are they/them

Wrote a graphic novel (it’s called Future it’s about space lesbians)

literally one of the sweetest and kindest souls on this planet I’ve never met him but every time he says anything it’s like WOW OK YOURE SO NICE AND KIND AND WONDERFUL (everything I’ve heard from people who’ve met him is SO NICE)

SO GOOD AT IMPROVISING (specifically Shakespearian-style) MONOLOGUES

his favourite colour is red

has two english degrees (very good with grammar and words)

has adhd

makes a garbled choking noise very well (you have to hear it to get what I mean I guess lol)

has eaten a teabag live on camera

He’s the “dad” of the group

Very hard to make him laugh on stage (but he’s been laughing more, recently!!) and each one is treasured

so kind did I mention he is kind

lovingly called a squid or squidboi by the fandom because of one time he like stuck his hands in his sleeves and was like “I’m a squid”

does a lot of admin work for sfth and handles the finances (at least he did, they might have someone for that now I’m not sure) and takes care of the patreon

Alexander Thomas Jeremy (AJ):

Birthday on 4th November 1991 (32)

CONFUSION KING /aff (he gets confused easily but we love him for it)

He’s bald and gets made fun of for it RELENTLESSLY (again, lovingly)

Absolutely ANGELIC singing voice

Blue eyes

born in Manchester(UK) but grew up in France (fluent in French)

makes movies/short films on youtube!! He’s working on a new one now and you can find them @atjeremy on youtube (that’s also his insta and you can see stuff about his films there too!)

does a lot of the editing for sfth and has a lot of input into which longforms to upload apparently (all of them decide tho I think)

he’s such a himbo (/aff)

fav colour is blue

He’s 6 foot tall

On their covid livestreams would always forget to get costuming ready

his rapping is BEAUTIFUL (words that barely rhyme at all and make NO sense 😌)

can deliver GREAT one liners

so good at playing children it’s crazy

can do magnificent cartwheels and loves to jump on the others with no warning

lots of muscles but lost an arm wrestle against Tom

Thinks he can’t do an Irish accent but I think it’s pretty good

also has a drama degree

Luke Christopher Manning

Birthday is the 23rd October 1989 (currently 34 about to be 35)

Hazel eyes

hes not short but he’s the short-EST, 5”7.5

gets made fun of for his height a LOT (lovingly!!)

SO good at accents

so good at playing women

also so good at playing children

such a good actor overall

says THE MOST UNHINGED THINGS

people think he’s innocent (somehow) but he’s SO unhinged

took his pants off live on stage (wearing underwear but still lol) (AND it’s on youtube hahaha)

lives in Spain with his long term girlfriend (fluent in Spanish)

so much attitude in such a small guy (/aff)

often compared to Macaulay Caulkin looks-wise

plays bass guitar in a band

Teaches acting (to kids??) in Spain

also has adhd

also has a drama degree

His favourite film is back to the future I believe

So confident in himself (this is a very good thing)

people say he “doesn’t age” and looks really young but I personally think he does look his age

sometimes called “Luke Womanning” as a play on his last name because of how amazing all his female characters are

They’re all really close friends and met at uni and started doing improv around 13 years ago together! Started gaining popularity 2022 and are gaining more and more fans every day!

Um. Whoops I wrote a lot lol. (It totally hasn’t been an hour of me just writing this hahahaha)

anyway I love them so much :)))) (as you can probably tell)

anyway!

THANK YOU SO MUCH ANON THIS ASK MEANS SO MUCH TO ME :DDDDD

[rosemarie333]

Astro Opinion(Vedic Sextologyyyy 🔞)

I should be sleep but at the same time I can’t because I want to do this one HEHEHEHE

Please do not read if under the age of 18.

ANYWAYSSSS this is my own opinion. All women are safe and sound here but not necessarily for the menzies LMAO sn sn all is welcomed buttttt my opinion is strong so beware. Also I am not well versed in astrology that well but I’m using my own opinion from my experiences with others soo hehe let’s get started!

I’m writing this and tbh I feel like a weird energy when saying this like someone is sitting my stomach and i feel like spinny like IMMA SPEAK WITH MY CHEST STOP IT SPIRIT

1. NOWWWWW girlie don’t ever get me started on a jupiterian man. They are the ones with the biggest THANGS ever but every one that i met doesn’t know how to rock the boat. Like how god bless u with a big one yet you not don’t nun?????? PLEASEEEEE help me. I remember my first ex who was a vishakha moon, uttara bhadprapada sun and jythesta rising like you would think he’d know what to do but baby no. LIKEEEEEEEEEEEE it was so many times i would leave unsatisfied and i don’t know why i kept going back😭😭😭😭. AND we had 7th house synastry AND FUCKING 5th house (well i did to him and my venus was in his 7th) and it still wasn’t good lol idk what lies i’ve been told but bitch 8th house synastry is where it’s at FUCK THE 5th ( i’m kidding LMAOOO)

2. Martian Men, please dm me🙏🏾. I know some people can’t handle the aggression and tbh i can handle it to an extent but like at the same time i love aggression (i’m a krittika sun and venus in kritikka in as my ak in my D9 which i’m not proud abt but I LIKE AGGRESSION). I had a fling with a Dhanishtha sun and Pushya moon man and omg it was great. I also watched Claire Natiki (love her!) where she talks about ashleshas wanting to be dominated and advising us to try martian people bc they have warmth to them we don’t have LMAO bc yk where serpents and we have this cold coiled energy which was SPOT ON BITCH he made me feel some thangs and really took me out of my shell. Too bad he was immature and he wanted to fit in with losers. i think he was a uttara phlanguni rising.

3. Moon men count your days. Y’all are so fucking conservative just like the ladies and for what? I dated a chitra sun man with a magha moon and i think ashlesha rising with a hasta venus and here i am reading that debilitating or fall placements do better than the exalted or the other one and BITCH WHERE WAS THAT IN HIM! LMAO LIKE his whole thing around sex was very tip toey and i respect that he wasn’t necessarily domineering and things but he wasn’t so nice to me in the sexual topic of things. i can attest i wasn’t the best either as reassuring him and i wasn’t perfect in the relationship 😭😭😭(bc i’m a sexual person he felt that i would cheat on him like nigga wtf u mean u cheated on everyone you have been like BE SCARED OF URSELF TF!) anyways he cheated on me and ghosted me after i stupidly took him back so💀 even i’m lunar dominant and i can be conservative at times but tbh i can’t and could never hide the fact that i’m a sexual girly 🤷🏾‍♀️. once i taught him what i liked it did get so much better tho ngl😋

4. Saturn mennn i have a love hate relationship with y’all likeeee very dominant which is what i like but y’all also sassy like how that works? LMAO

Never had an experience with solar men but they are very egotistical and yk CHEATERS so

Mercurial men idkkkkkkk i haven’t experienced any one of y’all so YALL SAFE or venusian men that i remember LMAO. But venusian men are def the type to fuck the baddest in the room for the status LMAO imo idk.

As someone with a sun DK and saturn AK lol 😭def a pattern i see but overall i think i had the best experiences with martian men tbh hehehe hbu y’all! (would love to hear other’s experiences)

[sweetheartmotives]

I saw your request to the void for story requests! Here I am to oblige, if you'd so please.

Would you be down to write about a Yandere!Prince, who falls in love with a low tier noble. Just the idea of going to a party to for our coming of age, expecting nothing given how low your family is in status, only for the crown prince to fall in love at first sight!

Or something like that xD. Hope you are taking care!

-🌟

𓆩:*¨༺✧♛ Yandere prince ♛ ✧༻¨*:𓆪

Desc and possible Cw: Yandere themes, reader is tired of everything and everyone, reader is a lil hater, the prince is an egotistical jerk [what did we expect], and probably some wrong info about the medieval times. [Please forgive me if anything is wrong, I'm a bit misinformed.]

Let me know if I missed any!

As a low-tier noble, you never expected to be invited to a royal party, let alone the coming-of-age celebration hosted by the crown prince himself. Your mother had insisted on dressing you in some of your grandparents' old clothes, which may not be as elegant as what the other guests will be wearing, but they'll do. Nervous knots twist in your stomach as you prepare to attend the kingdom's most exclusive event. Would the prince even notice you? Let's be serious: even though your mother had you bathe three times in a row, sewed your grandparent's old clothing to make it look presentable, and did your hair in a nice way, you still wouldn't be noticed. After finishing getting ready, your mother added some finishing touches and sent you off to the party.

As you walk toward the kingdom, the cold winter air blows past you, causing you to shiver and pout. This is total bullshit. Why did the prince decide to hold his coming-of-age party in the winter? This is bullshit! BULLSHITTT!!!! As you internally cuss out the prince and his parents, you enter through the kingdom's gates and into the castle, where beautiful women and handsome men make their way to the ballroom to meet the prince. You scoff quietly and follow behind the crowd, heading toward the ballroom.

As soon as you and the crowd enter, the sparkling chandelier springs to life and lights the entire room with a powerful glow that nearly blinds you. And now that I mention blinding, the light shining off the gold vases and wall decor is so darn bright it's burning your eyes! Damn this place! You squint and focus your eyes on the dramatic prince on his father's throne, cross-legged. What a prick! First, he hosts this stupid party in the middle of winter, aka the time when the weather is the coldest it's ever been, then he turns on that bright ass chandelier that nearly blinded you all, and now he has the audacity to act like he's above all of you? I mean, he is royalty, so technically, yeah, he is, but still! What a jackass! You scowl and stand behind the beautiful women in big, puffy dresses. They'll cover you nicely with those giant dresses; btw, they do look super nice, so you might compliment them later.

The prince clears his throat and stands up, placing a hand on his chest while the other sneaks its way behind his back. “I welcome you all to my ceremony; today we are celebrating me, of course, and since I'm the most important individual here, it's quite obvious I'm the one who is getting celebrated.” The prince said it very smugly as he smirked and waved his hand around as he spoke. “I invited some men here since I don't want any of you ladies to go home tonight feeling disappointed, so have fun mingling about! Now, we will begin dancing in 3, 2, and 1.” The prince steps down from the throne and snaps for a butler to turn on the music. Just as soon as he [the prince] snaps, a butler turns on music. The crowd claps and begins to spread around the ballroom. Some women try to ask politely for a dance with the prince, and some men ask a few women around to dance. This is truly ridiculous. To you, of course.

You sigh and make your way through the crowded room, aiming for a nearby balcony to hide away until the party is over. Everyone knows that the prince is an egotistical jerk, but no one has ever said anything because of the fear of getting executed or something like that. You don't know, and you don't care; you just want to leave. I mean, you could leave, but you'd be reprimanded by your mother for leaving the prince's ‘ceremony’, if you could call it that. It's more of a show-off party for the sake of boosting the prince's ego. It's bad enough that he's a jerk, but he's a jerk with an ego as big as a windmill.

Unknown to you, the prince has already got his eyes set on someone. You!

After a while of leaning on the balcony and staring off into the nearby scenery, someone comes beside you. You feel an arm against yours, and you turn your head to look at the person—it's the prince! You give him a mean, judgy look in hopes he'll find you unappealing and go away. He only smirks in return and opens his mouth to speak. “What are you doing out here? You should be out there celebrating me with the others.” He says smoothly, his tone of smugness never leaving for a second. You roll your eyes and look at him. “I'm out here because I want to be out here," you say plainly, still praying, no, hoping that your attitude will drive him away. The prince chuckles and rests his elbow on the balcony's railing, placing his head in his hand. “Seriously? Why? Don't you like celebrating the one who's your soon to be king?” He replies, smiling smugly as he chuckles even more. You scoff and look away from him, deciding to ignore him.

The prince, after 30 seconds of silence, smiles even more and snaps his fingers in your face. “Hey, you shouldn't ignore your higher-ups. It's impolite.” He smirks and giggles. You give him a confused look as you judgely look him up and down. The prince laughs and throws his head back. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” He says in between laughs, clearly finding your judgmental look funny. “Because you're annoying.” You reply harshly, not holding back your annoyance, even though the person you're talking to is royalty. He laughs even harder and smacks the balcony rail in amusement. “Wow, so mean~ you're even more than looks! I think I love you already.” He smirks and giggles even more. You deadpan. Excuse him? Did he just say he loved you? You blink in surprise for a few seconds before scowling and giving him another judgmental look. He laughs even harder at this and takes a few minutes to catch his breath from all the one-sided laughter. After that, the entire night [the rest of the party] is just you and him, him laughing his ass off while you scowl and keep giving him those amusing judgmental looks.

From the looks of it, I guess he's already decided who his future spouse is.

───────────────────────────────

Welcome to the end credits! This is where I will give information on my new or previous yans!

The prince is bisexual! He just needed an excuse to invite men so he could take a look at his options in both categories.

Hello 🌟 anon! Thanks for requesting, this was super fun to write, and it was probably the fastest fic I've ever written, haha! I hope you and everyone else are doing well! I hope you enjoyed reading as I enjoyed writing! (^ω^)

───────────────────────────────

[ddejavvu]

may i please have some more coachesdaughter!reader x hockey!james. the one you wrote was delicious. maybe where she's like "what if my dad finds out, he'll kick you off the team" and james is all egotistical like "nah, he can't afford to"

sorry to be so late and have a good rest of multiverse monday

today is multiverse monday, send me any au you can think of! :)

this post is 18+, minors dni.

James takes care of you after sex as well as he can in a three-stalled women's bathroom in a sports stadium. It's a low bar, but somehow he manages to perform better aftercare than previous men have in the comfort of their own homes.

He kneels by your spread feet on the tile, pressing sweet kisses to your thighs that have barely stopped trembling as he trails a warm, wet paper towel through your puffy cunt.

When you flinch at his touch he apologizes, gently wiping away the slick mess between your folds.

"There y'go, angel," He croons, producing your panties from his pocket where they'd been for safekeeping. He helps you slide them on, letting you readjust your skirt afterwards as he stands. "All clean. You feel alright?"

"Yeah," You nod, and it's truthful, but you're glum about it. James notices the dull tone of your voice and frowns, cupping your cheek and tilting your face towards his own.

"What's the matter?" He asks, concern dipping his brow in the middle, "Are you hurt?"

"No," You shake your head, "No, Jamie, I'm okay. I just- I'm scared."

"Scared," He frowns, "Of what?"

"Of getting caught," You confess, "I'm worried about ruining the team. You're the best player, love, and if my dad finds out we've been-" You cut yourself off, blushing slightly, "Well- he'll kick you off, or something. And everyone would be upset with me for getting the best player in trouble."

"No," James hums, kissing your forehead, "That's not true, love. You said it yourself, 'n I don't mean to brag, but I'm the best player on the team. Your dad can't afford to chuck me."

"You're underestimating how angry he'd be-," You start to spiral, but James cuts you off with a kiss to the lips this time.

"No, you're underestimating how much your dad wants to keep paying his bills," James chuckles, "Don't worry, love. Worst I'll get is extra push-ups, 'n I bet you'd like to see my arms after those, wouldn't you?'

"Stop," You beg, mortified even in the confines of the restroom after sex, "Don't get caught, James."

"We won't," He promises, letting up on the teasing even though his favorite thing is to fluster you, "Only other person who knows is Sirius, 'n that's just 'cause he caught me coming back. But he's not gonna tell, I swear. Pete, on the other hand," James muses, "Well, let's just hope he never finds out. The guy can't keep a secret to save a life."

[wyrmguardsecrets]

Worst race in WoW rp? Human males.

I now go out of my way to avoid any rp with human males (or worgen males who rp in human form), especially if they're played by white cis men. They are the most problematic group in the game bar none.

They consistently fuck up any rp they get involved in because their character is just an egotistical projection to compensate for their personal male inadequacies. Their roleplay is either some DEUS VULT holy warrior bullshit where they godmod their racism all over any non-human characters, or they try hard as fuck to be Tommy Shelby when really they're just Tommy Wiseau with a "u wot m8" accent. OR they're a "wise old sorcerer" who exerts their intellectualism onto any young woman standing alone in the Lamb. Oh, and let's not forget the assholes who want to be as close to the rank of king as lore-abidingly possible–all adult toddlers with a raging case of megalomania.

The ego cis men imbue their characters with has singlehandedly dismantled so many public rp hubs and guilds because they HAVE to be the big man on campus. I've seen it happen time and time again, where one or more will show up uninvited to a brawl or dispute of any kind across SW because they metagamed learning about it. They HAVE to be the strongest, smartest, funniest, most vicious, most aloof, most politically savvy, and most connected, which just translates to blowhard attitudes and unnecessary conflict as they try to assert their dominance over everyone else. Women? Holes to fuck. Men who love their wives? Spineless cucks. Non-humans? Inferior or a device to be used (i.e. having a draenei as a meat shield). Everyone is an NPC and just a means to an end for their rp. Oh, and their ERP? So much attention to detail when it comes to their muscles and dick veins that it ironically borders on homoerotica.

And if you sit in vc or chat with these guys, it's the biggest stroke fest. They oocly rip on whoever confronts them, make dumb jokes about other OCs, and fellate themselves for writing 10 bAdAsS paragraphs every emote. Nevermind the unapologetic sexism, racism, and trans/homophobia that runs rampant in their discords and guild chats. And if you call them out on their toxic behavior or piss them off, they will gang up on you and gaslight you into a coma until you no longer feel safe on your own character.

Now, because I know their egos are so fragile that I expect some ragey responses and attempts to insult me or say #notallhumanmales, but tbh they can all fuck right off. I've been here 12 years and every single person I've ever known on MG has a horror story involving a human male OC. They're sexual predators–Andrew Tate wannabes–and deserve to be ostracized and ignored.

.

[idyllicwillowtree]

Vickie's Friend

Genre: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: Robin isn’t the only one chatting up a lady while volunteering at Hawkins High. 

Word count: 1.5K

Warnings: swearing, use of y/n, gay stereotypes?, earthquake mention, fluff

Author’s note: I like the idea of Vickie having a friend they could go on double dates with lol let me know if you want another part!

Main Masterlist

Saturday, March 29, 1986

“Okay, then we sort by age,” you hear Marge say. Looking up from the baby clothes you were folding, you see she’s talking to none other than Steve Harrington. He quickly bends down to rescue some fallen clothes, as he follows Marge, “We’ve got infants, girls, boys, men, women…”

You scan the gym with new found excitement. Wherever Steve was, you knew Robin would be close by. They always seemed to be together whenever you saw Robin outside of school. When you spot her, you couldn’t help but let a smile slither onto your face. She was assigned to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, alongside your best friend. You watched as Vickie came out of the kitchen, freezing the moment she saw Robin.

Unfortunately, you were interrupted from watching the rest of their interaction when Marge brought Steve over, “and Steve, this is Y/N. You guys can work together on this new pile,” she said, motioning to the clothes you just started organizing.

You never really cared for Steve. He seemed a bit egotistical for your liking but if Robin allows his company then he couldn’t be that bad. Truth be told, you wanted a chance to talk to him one-on-one to see if he and Robin were dating. Vickie was convinced they must be together since they’re basically joined at the hip, but you weren’t so sure. You’ve seen Steve back when he was in High School all over whatever girl he was dating at the time, always one to show off public displays of affection. But you’ve never seen him do that with Robin so now was your chance to do some investigating.

“Hey Y/N, good to see you,” he said with a sad smile.

“Hi Steve, you too,” you said softly.

You and Steve had a couple of classes together back in the day so you knew of each other but never really had a conversation outside of school before. On any other day if you saw Steve at a grocery store or something you’d probably pretend not to recognize him and turn the other direction. But there’s something about a giant traumatic earthquake that made you happy to see that he was okay. 

As you both work, you notice him glancing over at Robin every once in a while and smiling to himself. 

“Oh wow,” he said suddenly.

Looking over at him, you see he’s holding a piece of clothing with the most atrocious pattern you have ever seen. Patterns were all the rage right now, but this was just too much. Steve unfurrowed it to fully reveal a giant pair of hammer pants with stirrups. Half of it was neon yellow and the other half was black and white checkers. Fortunately, it was missing a huge chunk of fabric in the crotch area so you wouldn’t have to subject it to some poor person who recently lost their house.

“Now why would anyone want to donate this? It had to have been an accident,” you say sarcastically.

“Maybe I’ll take them home. I’ve been meaning to get a pair of parachute pants that’ll actually accentuate my junk,” Steve laughed.

“It’ll make life easier in the restroom, that’s for sure.”

Steve barked out a laugh, his hair moving out of place as he shook his head. Your heart swelled and your palms began to sweat as you chuckled alongside him. Succeeding in getting Steve to laugh left your cheeks feeling warm.

“So you and Robin work at the video store, right? Family Video?” you pry, trying your best to sound casual.

“Yep. You and Vickie rented Fast Times recently, didn’t you?”

You stiffened, “y-yeah, how’d you remember?”

Steve’s movements stuttered, he tried disguising it by scratching the back of his neck. “Oh, uh, just cause Robin and I liked it,” he cleared his throat, “how’d you guys like it?”

“Well, Vickie and I loved it. We happen to be normal,” you say with a laugh, “Dan, on the other hand, did not.”

“Dan?”

“Vickie’s boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend.” Steve stood up a little straighter and turned to look at Robin, watching as Vickie said something that made her laugh. “They got into this weird passive aggressive argument about it and I was there to witness it all,” you shuttered dramatically.

“They broke up over Fast Times?” Steve chuckled.

“No, but I’m sure it didn’t help,” you giggled with him. “I say good riddance though, I don’t know what she saw in him. Thank god she’s single now.” Now her and Robin have a better chance, you thought. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be talking shit about Vickie’s ex-boyfriend to you.”

Steve flung a kids t-shirt over his shoulder, “no please continue. I love the drama,” he said, sending you a smile that awoke the butterflies in your stomach.

“What about you and Robin? How’s that going?” 

“Me and Robin? Oh, we're not dating. We’re both very single,” he said.

A victory smile made its way onto your face and you pushed down the instinct to pump  your fist in excitement. You were right, Steve and Robin were just friends. Maybe part of you was happy that Steve was single too.

“What?” Steve said, looking at you head on now.

“W-what?”

Steve’s eyes had a sparkle to them as his face broke out into a smug grin, “you smiled. After I told you I was single.”

“Did I?” you turn away from his gaze to continue folding, doing your best to push down the blush that was creeping up your neck. “You also told me Robin was single. Who’s to say I’m not smiling about that?”

Technically, that was true. You were excited that Robin was single, just not for your own sake. You couldn’t help but tease him back a little.

“Hey, there’s no reason to get defensive,” he held his hands up in surrender. “For the record, if you told me you were single I’d probably smile too.”

Your head whipped over to him in surprise. Was Steve Harrington flirting with you? Were you flirting back? 

You smiled shyly, looking back down at the blouses you were folding, “well it’s a good thing I’m single then, isn’t it?”

It was Steve’s turn to look at you in shock before he quickly recovered, looking like the cat that caught the canary. Your eyes connected and it was like all the pieces started coming together. He looked at you like you were the most precious thing on earth. Despite the hardships your town is going through right now, you couldn’t help but feel hopeful for the first time in forever. 

-

“Our best friends are gonna start dating now, aren’t they?” Vickie laughed.

Robin giggled at the dopey look on Steve’s face, “oh, most definitely.”

-

A few days earlier…

Friday, March 21, 1986 

“I just feel like if I start trying to date now and I fall in love, or whatever, I’m just setting myself up for disappointment because what if we move away from each other after graduation or something? I don’t know, does that make sense?...Vickie? Vickie, are you listening to me?” you said, turning away from the road to look at your friend in the passenger seat.

Vickie’s mouth was agape as she continued painting her lashes with mascara, “yes, yes, I’m listening.”

“What did I say?” you challenged.

“Something about…I don’t know, wanting a boyfriend?”

You slapped your hand against the steering wheel in frustration, “No! That’s not, ugh, nevermind.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It’s seven in the morning and I’m just not built to handle these deep conversations when it’s this early! And now we have to go to this stupid pep-rally and I woke up looking like an actual dead person!”

Glancing over at her you noticed how fidgety she was being. She kept going back to retouch her lip gloss and was tugging at her red bangs, trying to get them to cooperate.

“Ohhhh, I see what’s happening,” a shit-eating grin spread along your face. “You’re nervous about seeing Robin,” you sang, teasingly.

“What? I am not!” Vickie’s fair skin immediately turned a violent shade of red.

“Yes you are! You really expect me to believe you’re freaked out over a stupid basketball game? And you know what else I think?”

“Uh, I really don't care what-”

“You’ve gotta ditch the stick and go after Robin!”

The corners of Vickie’s mouth turned down, “the stick?”

“Yeah, I’m talking about Dan. The stick being his penis,” you said plainly.

“Ew, gross, don’t say penis!”

“The fact that the word itself grosses you out, tells me you’d be a lot happier with someone who doesn’t have one. Someone like Robin!”

“We don’t even know if she likes girls, Y/N.”

“Her favorite movie is Children of Paradise, Vick. I don’t know of any straight girls who can sit through a foreign film, let alone call it their favorite.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Vickie said in defiance.

“Okay fine. But we both saw the way she was staring at that Phoebe Cates standee in Family Video. You can’t forget about my ‘Operation Fast Times’ plan.”

Vickie rolled her eyes and scoffed in frustration, “I still can’t believe we did that.”

“It’s the perfect plan! She’ll see you paused at 53 minutes 5 seconds and boom, you’re in!”

_______________________________________________

Part 2

[thewolvesofthenorth]

The Idea

Chapter One to GUY.exe

Series Masterlist ❖ Main Masterlist ❖ House Of The Dragon Masterlist

Rating: 18+ Word Count: ~700 Summary: Rhaenyra comes up with a "brilliant" idea, but you're not the biggest fan of it. Warnings: Angst, language, fluff (so much fluff!) A/N: The song GUY.exe by Superfruit was my inspiration.

Next Chapter ⟹

You were done with men. Absolutely done. It was the fourth date you’d been on that week, and it was an utter failure. Apparently, men didn’t like when a woman was smarter than them.

“Ughhhhhh,” you groaned, lightly banging your head against your desk.

“If you keep doing that, you’re going to lose some brain cells,” came a voice from the doorway. You looked up and glared at your best friend.

“Fuck off, Rhae,” you shot back. You and Rhaenyra had been best friends since university, bonding over your mutual love for cake – particularly lemon cake. You’d both fought over the last piece in the cafeteria, with you being victorious, but you decided to share with her, and the rest was history.

“Things not work out with, what was his name this time?”

“Tyland,” you answered.

“Ah, that’s right. Doesn’t he work in banking or something?”

“Yeah, but I guess he didn’t like the fact that I could do math faster than him.” Rhaenyra scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Of course not. Men like him are all high and mighty until they’re not.” You let out a sigh and sat up.

“Whatever, I’m over it,” you replied. “I don’t have the time or patience to do this anymore. Not when I have so much going on with work.”

“Oh yeah? How’s that going?”

“It’s going. It could always be better, but we’re making progress.”

“What are you working on now?”

“Just working on fine-tuning the AI and ironing out a few bits of code.” Rhaenyra sat down on the couch in your office and stretched her arms.

“Sounds soooooo fun,” she said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. “Robots are going to take over the world one day, and it’ll all be your fault.”

“Ha ha, so funny,” you said, throwing a crumpled piece of paper at her head.

“Seriously, the robots you guys make are so lifelike that you wouldn’t even know they weren’t human until they opened their mouths.”

“Yeah, well, it’s called innovation. Besides, the AI we’re designing is meant to learn,” you retorted. “It’s called programming.”

“Yeah yeah yeah. I’m just saying,” she said with a shrug. “Anyway, I didn’t come over for a science lecture. Want to drown your sorrows in some cake and ice cream? This new place opened downtown and the food there looks delicious.”

You laughed at the expression on your best friend’s face.

“With how much you talk about cake, you might as well live in a bakery.”

Rhaenyra scowled at you and got up. “Whatever, like you’re one to talk.”

You laughed as you started putting on your shoes.

“Cake hasn’t let me down so far,” you chuckled. “There’s no risk of heartbreak and will always be there for me.”

“True,” she said , standing up. As you went to grab your keys, you heard her snap her fingers. “Seven hells, I just had the most brilliant idea!”

“What?”

“You should just make yourself a boyfriend!”

“What?”

“Yeah! You have means to do it. Well, almost..”

“That’s a stupid idea,” you said, rolling your eyes are her mediocre suggestion.

“No, it’s not! You could totally do it,” she encouraged. “You’re a fucking genius. Come on, don’t tell me that the thought hasn’t crossed your mind before.”

“It hasn’t, actually,” you said, waving her off.

“You know it’s a great idea. Admit it.”

“Rhae, I am not going to waste my research and work on synthesizing myself a boyfriend. There are better things I could do with my time and effort.”

“Pfft, whatever. Just think – you wouldn’t have to deal with egotistical men or go on dates that are bound to fail.  You would have the perfect guy.”

“I guess… It’s still a stupid idea though.”

“Pssh, it’s totally not. I’m just as much of a genius as you.”

“Uh huh,” you said with a shake of your head. “You keep telling yourself that.”

As the two of you made your way to your car, you couldn’t help but think about Rhaenyra’s idea a little more.

Maybe that is something that could be done.

But I’m never admitting that to her.

Next Chapter ⟹

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Which one? (Hannibal/Will)

Description: Both of them like Y/N and when she finds out she was to choose

Word Count: 714

Request:

Hi could you please write a fanfic, where both Hannibal and Will are -obsessively- interested in the reader, who is completely oblivious. After she finally realizes their interest, she needs to choose one of them (preferably Hannibal) and it ends in smut?

Author’s note: I completely forgot to add the smut I’m so sorry but I hope you like it! Also feel free to send in request. I’m currently on a Challengers kick but I’ll take anything!

Hannibal and Will have lots in common even if they don’t want to admit it. Hannibal though does but Will would rather die than admit to anyone that he is like the physiatrist. They share something that one could kill the other for: feelings for Y/N. They both knew it and hated the fact that they both liked her. She was oblivious to it which made it better for them but also annoying.

They both wondered if she had feelings for one of them. She never showed signs of it but that didn’t mean she didn’t have feelings for one of them. It was rather annoying to everyone around the three watching it all go down. Will would glare at Hannibal anytime he talked to Y/N and Hannibal planned to eat Will anytime he talked to Y/N. Y/N just thought the two guys were just being nice. “Will, Y/N probably wants an older man that can show her the best time.” Hannibal told him as they walked away from her. “I am an older man to her, Hannibal. You would be an elder to her.” Hannibal snorted at his comment.

Y/N was almost 30 so both men were older than her. Y/N wasn’t ever picky with the ages of her partners, as long as they were around her age or older. The day that Y/N realized that they both liked her was when she overheard their conversation. “Y/N would choose me. I’m smart, good looking and I have an accent.” Hannibal told Will. “She would choose me. We have more in common and I make her laugh harder.” Both had great points but Y/N was too shocked to even think about it. Both of them liked her? She had to get away before they saw her listening to them. 

The next day was like any other except that she was well aware of what they were doing. Fighting for her love, attention. They both were good looking men. How could she choose? “Guys we need to talk.” She tells them, her voice had a hint of sadness in it. They looked at her waiting for her to continue. “I know that you both like me.” She states at looks at the two of them. Hannibal hides his shock but Will’s eyes widened. “Oh my how did you know?” He asked. “I overheard you guys talking about it.” Hannibal looked down as did Will. She had to choose one of them. “Who are you choosing and why is it me?” Will gave Hannibal a weird look. “You don’t know that.” He said. Y/N looked between them….

Will’s Version 

“Hanni you’re very nice but I like Will.” She said to the older man. Will wanted to celebrate and laugh in Hannibal’s face but he was too mature for that. Hannibal nodded and gave her a small smile. He was embarrassed that Will was right and sad. “But we can still be friends.” She told him. “I’d like that.” He said and walked away. Will walked up to her and cupped her face, “Thank you.” He said before leaning in and kissing her. 

Hanni’s version 

“Well because I like you Hannibal.” She answered his egotistical question. Will looked shocked. Hannibal smiled and turned to Will. “And see I was right.” “Hanni, don’t be mean I can always change my mind.” She told him. He nodded and turned to her. She looked at Will, “You’re a nice guy Will you will meet someone.” He smiled at her words. “Thank you Y/N.” He said and walked away. Hannibal held out his hand for Y/N to take. She took it and they began walking. “Don’t be mean to him.” Y/N said. “I won’t.” He lied, knowing that he would. 

Both 

“No, I can't choose.” They looked at each other and then back at Y/N. “What do you mean?” “I like you both.” She said. Neither of them saw that coming which changed everything. “So you want us both?” Will asked. Y/N nodded, feeling ashamed. Hannibal noticed the guilty look she had. “Hey, don't be ashamed. I’m sure we can work something out.” He said and looked at Will. Will smiled and nodded. That something happened to be both guys kissing her neck on her bed as she sighed in pleasure.

[hermesmoly]

Reading Ajax by Sophocles for the first time: Part 1

some notes and comments! (I am reading the version translated by Ian Johnston) and tagging @katerinaaqu because I REALLY want to hear their thoughts as well as @venomspecs for being the catalyst for me to read this! :>

Odysseus calling Athena "the god I cherish the most" is so sweet they really are mentor and mentee

"We don’t know anything for certain." Man what a powerful line, It can be used for so many contexts within the Epic Cycle

I love how Odysseus' first reaction is "How could he have done something so reckless?" just. ugh speaks to him as a character and as a comrade

"and kept on chopping down and slaughtering, the ones with horns by slicing through their spines, until they made a circle all around him." CHILLS. DOWN MY SPINE.

"I kept encouraging him" ATHENA NO???

" But the sweetest laughter comes from mocking enemies. Is that not true?" I love this specific unhinged Athena so much

I like that Ajax speaks in the Third Person. I can very much see him doing that

Ajax really thought Athena would choose him over Odysseus XD

"I see that in our lives we are no more than phantoms, insubstantial shadows."

Athena of course uses this Ajax scenario to scold Odysseus over "never ever speaking against gods or be egotistical" I cantttt

"Envy creeps up against the man of wealth and power. And yet, without the great, we lesser men are fragile ramparts in our own defence."

I feel so bad for Tecmessa ;; she and her son deserve a lot more

"Come, help me kill myself" I mean, what do you SAY to that,,

"these awesome hands, against tame animal" Oh Ajax.

"If with my distorted mind and eyes," so Athena permanently blinds Ajax? Eye fatigue? Or is it more metaphorical...

Ajax's last conversation with his son is quite interesting. He loves his kid enough that he agrees with Tecmessa about her decision to keep him away from Ajax's madness. Trusts Teucer to take care of him. Gives him his own shield. "My other weapons you will bury with me." Does the kid even fully grasp that his dad is going to kill himself?

"Father, with god’s help even a worthless man can be victorious. But I believe I’ll win glory on my own without them." DAMN he said that to his father with his whole chest!

Telling Athena, the Athena, to go "stand there with the other Argives" IS SO??? Ajax you are impressively sacrilegious

Stopping around line 930 since this play seems to be 1700+ lines long ^^ Will continue tomorrow since it is late night here.

[64-jungle-planks]

Night at the Museum: Redesigning Characters (Bonus)

Character profile: Napoléon "Le Petit Caporal" Bonaparte

This character is based off of and takes inspiration from the historical Napoleon Bonaparte.

Real Name: Napoléon Bonaparte

Nickname and Meaning: Le Petit Caporal - A term of affection from his soldiers

Age: 40-41 (Late 1809, early 1810)

Time Period: Napoléonic era frace

Family: Josephine de Beauharnais (ex-wife), Marie Louise (wife)+ seven siblings none of which were brought back besides Louis-Napoléon Bonaparte- his nephew

(Headcanons under the cut)

Based on/taken from History:

Pompous

Very overly confident.

Egotistical. He hasn’t seen his own downfall yet and feels he can win more.

On December 2, 1805, in his greatest victory, he defeated the combined Austrian and Russian armies in the Battle of Austerlitz.

signed treaties that created the Grand Duchy of Warsaw

Late 1809, early 1810, Napoléon’s roughly around 40-41

Still loves Josephine, but planning to divorce.

Upset she wasn’t remade alongside him

From Napoléon's memory, Joseph Bonaparte is king of Spain, but isn’t doing well.

Stupidly cute smile

+ Sensitive + Honest + Intelligent - Nepotist - Aggressive - Forgets other people have feelings

My own silly headcanons:

Has put on weight, he’s not used to fighting with it.

Napoléon likes to steal pop-it’s and water wigglers from the gift shop. He always has to have something in his hands to fidget with- normally it’s his gloves or a snuff box or taking apart and cleaning his pistol. Now that he has access to modern fidgets, he likes to taking the green ones.

He also really likes clicking mechanical pencils

He loves inventions that make life better in little ways. Canning food was invented in his life (he’s actually the one who offered a prize of 12,000 francs to improve the food preservation methods that existed at the time which led to canned food being invented) but there was no simple way to open the cans. He loves can openers- taking them with the promise of returning them to just take apart and put back together.

If your gossiping, he obviously eavesdrops. Napoléon cans and will butt into your conversation about someone and listen like you’re saying the most interesting thing in the world. If he can’t come over to you, he will do the lead paint stare at you.

Still acts like he’s emperor.

Originally thought the average height of humans gained a lot of height. He was envious up until he learned whoever created his mold got his height wrong and he’s 5’2”, not 5’7”, then, Napoléon was just pisssed off.

He loves to infodump about his victories and will call over his men to help act them out, sneaking small fibs in to make himself look even better than he already does. If you ask him about his losses, you’ll only get a stare in return and a quick “Non”. (Credit @frombottlealleytotheharbor)

“Hey, do you remember [insert battle he lost]? What was it like?” “…Non.” “But… weren’t you there?” He starts walking away. “Non.” “But—“ “NON!”

He gets into fights with Al because Al is someone who clearly doesn’t respect him. The Capone trio love to tease him - especially Frank and Al. Ralph watches with a grin, which is somehow even more infuriating to Napoléon.

Sometimes getting out of his box, he looks like a well-loved stuffed animal. It takes him a moment to get himself together.

Loves watching true crime and reality TV shows. Isn’t the biggest fan of Horror movies.

Somehow got his hands on a cigarette, absolutely died after one puff. Napoléon threw it onto the ground and stomped off coughing, vowing to never do it again.

He’s so very envious that Al and Ralph had even a bit of time with their sons while they were alive. François Charles was born after the time he was made, and it makes Napoléon feel so homesick and want his kid- one that he doesn’t even know. He absolutely adores Louis Napoleon, who he only met a few times.

Loves ABBA, originally he disliked, but he's grown to like it now that he knows the meaning

I gave him his Laurel wreath just because I thought they were cool and also to show that he's still very pompous and full of himself.

Unfortunately no doodles, I haven't had time!

Étienne Champenois belongs to @lidensword and Gustave Bréant belongs to @all-yn-oween

Frank, Al, Ralph