#i love liveblogging shit

[a-moth-called-mof]

You know the dsmp fandom had its several negatives but it's still one of my favourite fandom experiences of all time. It was so chaotic but it was so earnest. It felt like everything was some big fandom inside joke. It was so silly. It was poetic at times. I don't think I've ever seen a fandom with so much literary and metatextual analysis (though some have gotten close). It honestly is what got me into narrative analysis. I just love how some of us made jokes and we all ran with it. It was a mess at times but God it was so fun. DSMPblr. I will always love you.

[arthursfuckinghat]

The sun is your halo, for it is always above you.

Arthur and Weetabix 𑁦𐂂𑁦 Scarlett Meadows

[bacchuschucklefuck]

[realmrooikat]

I wonder if the number of lives a player on the realm has corresponds to the way corruption effects them?

we only have 3 case studies but going off of that -- Pangi, who got nulled with 2 lives, came back with no personality or memory changes, but allegedly is displaying some physical changes -- Ros, who had 1 life when she got nulled, came back without memories and personality changes but with no visible signs of corruption (obviously she's already ourple but. aside from the paleness theres no noticeable change) -- Pili, who died fully (and was presumably also sent to the null?), came back with both physical (madness induced corruption) and personality changes, as well as memory loss. Therefore maybe a player's lives correspond to how deeply the madness effects them? and maybe that's tied to the keeper's control over giving and taking lives? (i.e. giving Ros a life in the past)

also it should maybe be noted that Pili has complete amnesia, Ros has retrograde amnesia but only for things before the null and not the null itself, and Pangi seems to have no amnesia?

[nandermoenthusiast]

im just imagining nandermo in a very enclosed space like for some reason they gotta be chest to chest pushed up against a wall and its awkward for a moment but then nandors eyes are just boring into guillermos and guillermo has that uncertain but unwavering stare too, and is this what is gonna take for them to kiss?

[totheidiot]

mello as weird chucky doll in the drama is still infinitely better than those Godforsaken finger puppets near has idc

[sparring-spirals]

Jester follows Caleb in, dutifully, loyally, ready to fight on his behalf, of course. Of course. And Fjord balks, a little, everyone hesitates, for a moment. But she was always going to go in. She was always going to go in. How could they let Caleb go in there alone, facing Trent, facing his undead parents? Facing his worst fear, his worst guilts, his worst enemies. She follows him in.

How could they let Caleb go in there alone? With just his parents, with Trent. With just his parents, almost the same but not quite, speaking and moving, with Trent and his poison honeyed words. Facing his worst guilt, and a twisted form of forgiveness, and something he has been aching for but cannot have. She follows him in, because she loves him, because she wants to protect him, because shes sorry he has to face this. Because she. Is sorry.

She follows him in, because Jester is always willing to do what is needed to protect the people that are hers. Jester is always willing to do what she has to do to protect her people, whatever that looks like.

Jester follows him in, and looks at him and says- I'm so sorry. And casts Turn Undead.

[thewingedwolf]

loved the new acolyte episode. the way it plays with the nuances in the jedi by having indara refuse to get involved bc she wants to do things by the book vs sol who feels this connection to osha, this fear for her well-being and feels that’s more important than any rules. both sides getting angry and paranoid and it leading to aniseya, sol, and torbin reacting emotionally & violently. sol refusing to fight korli because he KNOWS he fucked this up. sol willing to accept the consequences but indara, like sol & the witches, is trying to put this child’s well-being over some arbitrary rule. it’s so good and such a good demonstration of both how the jedi council works to stop conflict and how it is completely unprepared to deal with natural human emotion and error.

and of course, as expected, mae is not The Evil Twin. she sets the fire on accident, it spins out of control, and she’s held into this anger for so long because it’s a justified anger! has it helped her? no! but it’s guarded her heart against the overwhelming grief of losing her entire culture in a moment. and then there’s osha, who has no idea the events she’s set into motion - all she wants is the room to figure out who she is without everyone’s expectations weighing her down!! she’s just a kid!!!!!!

[wnightingales]

“They say the hardest role you play is yourself. And you’ve all just witnessed thE PERFORMANCE OF A LIFETIME!”

- me, five seconds ago, standing in my gf’s doorway without pants on, reenacting Toni’s reveal

[turnaboutstar]

so fucking excited to see them interact omg

[ratatoier]

missa stumbling over his words and then saying "philza you make me nervous" in spanish so phil doesnt understand... they are everything to me

[secriden]

Ummmm... Fadel, my love? Maybe you should, oh, I don't know, take your own advice maybe????

[arthursfuckinghat]

The Mexican dictator's main captain: "This raid is important, but something doesn't feel right.."

John, with a straight face: "Maybe you just need to take a piss or something"

[espioakakeith]

lmaooo in Kayfabe, The Rock just spent AT LEAST $77-$113k tryna woo Cody lmaooo

[freakinator]

ros says that she believes that ppl can get respect through both fearful (by having everyone fear her) and loving (by embodying their own hope) means but she feels as though shes been forced into going down the fearful path cause of how everyone treats her

pili then says that this is why he doesnt think he and ros can ever get along cause they have such fundamentally different mentalities cause he thinks fear is the only way to get ppl to respect others and that you cant fix the unfixable

ros tthen reasons that you dont need to fix someone to be friends with them and that nobody has the right to fix others just that if they were nice then they could get along and points out how pangi and pili get aling (also someone else but i didnt hear)

pili then says that pangi respects him cause he knows that he cant beat him and they get along well cause of that, ros then points out how clown is nice and how pili is comfortable with him and pili says he just has a weird obsession with him

pili then says that being nice means that you get stepped on and ros points out that pili saying that implies that he thinks ros is weak which she doesnt think is fair and asked who shes let step on her and pili says he doesnt know

ros then points out the kingdom and how theyre so locked in cause of her kindness, pili then says that hes more of a loner and ros asks wouldnt he wabt to be part of something

pili then says that ros hasnt been gone through what hes been through and that hes cursed with misfortune, ros then says that hes sorry to pili but points out how shes surrounded by death as well but in a different way, pili then says that its different cause ros is still here but all it takes is a creeper

ros then says that pili should start thinking of the present and that pili should start valuing his comrades instead of thinking things like "if flame dies tomorrow im cursed" as an example, pili then reasons that thats the exact reason that he distanced himself from pangi cause he doesnt want him to die

ros then says that if pili needs to kill then the whole realm can help him but pili reasons that the keepers of the realm wouldnt allow it, that foolish was the first and last given death he can have

ros theb says that if pili just opened up to the others on the realm then they could help him, pili then says that he doesnt look for payment wheb hes being helpful, ros then told pili about how happy flame was when pili helped him and pili says he just did that cause he wanted to hang out with flame

ros then tries to relate to pili by saying how she feels useless and pili then says that everyone has their own strengths and intelligences and gives him helping sausage as an example, that his building is equivalent to pilis killing and that building is what makes ros ros and that hes not calling ros weak its just that her strength lies somewhere else

ros then says that even after this conversation whatever hapoens will happen and pili agrees and that hes so excited for clown to kill him and ros asks him why hes so excited and pili excitedly says why wouldnt he, clown is the best fighter and hes gonna get beat and hes gonna get humbled and experience ego death

pili then says that its not cause hes a clown fan, its cause he just loves getting humbled and will always fight the strongest player on any server hes in and ros asks hypothetically what would happen if she was the best pvper on the server and pili replied that he would have to go after her

ros then asks pili why hes been targetting her and pili replies that its cause he was just looking for a way to provoke clown, ros then asks if thats really it that he was just targetting her cause of clown and pili replies theres actually more than that and ros asks for a percentage which is

50% cause of the day 1 bullying

20% cause he was bored

20% cause of clown

10% cause she was just there

ros said okay after each percentage and pili noted that ros sounded offended when he said that he killed her cause of boredom and pili says that he just has a different definition of fun from her and that he knows its messed up and pili says yes

ros theb asked if hes been through therapy and that theres a thing in therapy where the patient reasons out why he wants to kill ppl and asks what he would do if someone killed pangi and he said he would get revenge, ros then asks about bad doing it and pili thinks that thats exactly what bad wants cause of bads actions and that all he wants is his little telenovelas and tells her about bad insinuating that he has a crush on someone cause he made the mistake of saying hes interested in someone and ros asks if thats why bad said that ros should take pili out on a date and pili said yes and expanded on what happened

ros then says that pili desires closeness with someone and that he feels strong emotions amd that he also inspires strong emotions in her (mainly anger and the like) but that while he wants to inspire fear and destruction she wants to inspire hope and protection and that she dislikes pili insinuating shes weak and thats why she keeps retaliating against pili and pili says he didnt even notice that and ros said thats exactly what she meant and pili apologizes then says that he can be too honest or too much of a liar, pili then says to not try to understand him cause of that but ros says that she does understand him

ros tthen says that if theyre gonna continue their rivalry to wait for a week while she continues building the castle which pili was upset about cause he cant wait to get killed and ros says he should make the most of the week and that he should fix things

pili then says that whatever happens in the week is exactly what he wanted and to not worry about him, ros then says that theyll make it a fun thung but also maybe that he shouldnt be killed cause hes on his last life and pili tells her not to worry about it and that they can just kill him if they wanted

ros then kills some mobs and says that death is everywhere and pili says that death doesnt matter until its someone close to you and ros says that pili has done a good job in that respect cause none of the ppl close to him have died yet and pili agrees saying that pangi hasnt died yet then told to ros to be careful about pangi cause hes gone unstable cause of something pili caused

they tthen say their goodbyes and pili says that he cant wait to hate on ros tomorrow and ros remarks on that and pili says that its a good thing cause their rivalry pushes them to their best like batman and joker from the lego series and ros agrees and that shes gonna watch it

they then say their goodbyes fr

[sparring-spirals]

Compromise. Im not going to actually WRITE meta but i AM going to lay out a list of things I'm thinking about broadly and thematically and would probably write meta about if i were properly caught up and informed, but is instead influenced much more by early campaign F.C.G:

**edit: no this is kind of meta again. sorry.

- F.C.G grappling with the questions of: being made. purpose. whether it matters if you find your own purpose if you were made with one in mind and you "choose" something else. Can you actually? Does it matter? Is your choice a choice at all?

- Wanting so badly to heal people and help people and the unique fear of waking up and seeing damage done by your own hands. To the same people you wanted so badly to help. You extend healing and you offer comfort or kind words but all the while, in your core is a tightness. In your core is a danger. How much good do you need to do to get the blood off your chassis? Can you, at all?

- Metal body. Metal hands. A little wheel. You were a turtle once and it felt so wondrous to breathe. You try out tongues or little wooden legs or whatnot but it always comes back to an inorganic metal body and empty insides no matter if youre filling them with liquids or secret goods to smuggle or pastries (faux warmth). Maybe everything like wooden legs dangling off a metal body. All for show.

- A coin in hand. Looking for a higher power. Thinking about choice. Deferring choices.

- You love your friends, so much. You love people being kind to each other. You love your boyfriend and their wonderful way of thinking. You love being alive. Even when you doubted you were at all. You love, truly and deeply.

- Ashton raging at F.C.G for being a martyr. For aching for a good enough reason to get himself hurt or killed or blown up. Ashton looking at F.C.G knowing they're all messed up inside and trying so hard to stop them from letting it destroy them.

- Ashton always worried about how they're always trying to find a big enough cause, a good enough reason.

And so with those things, I remembered about F.C.G:

- F.C.G looking at their friends all down. Ashton laid out unmoving.

- F.C.G with something awful in their core. Ready to spill out. The same something awful they were always worried about. They were always aware of.

- F.C.G always looking for that reason. For that bigger and better cause.

- F.C.G always feeling like they didn't understand purpose, like it was so. unattainable- finally, briefly, startlingly- sure. Finally free of doubt. Their friends down and something awful and destructive in their core and one last thing they can do to maybe make things worth it, and the ability to choose it. They were made for something. They chose what to do with it.

- F.C.G finding that reason. F.C.G making that call. F.C.G thinking it was worth it.

- I think because of him, they succeeded. They won. That is certain.

- I think. "Worth it". Is always a subjective thing.

- I think. A self sacrifice is never just one person giving everything up. A self sacrifice, unfortunately- is one person making a choice.

And everyone else caught, in the blast radius.