#i love her so much honestly. who said that

[quarterlifekitty]

Weaknesses part 6: birthday present

cw: this one is nasty lol

Gaz wants to make home movies :) special lingerie for the occasion, a really nice camcorder you had no idea he had, a tripod he borrowed from someone who definitely doesn’t know what he’s using it for. And he wants to have you in literally every position you’ll let him get you in. One day, Gaz is going to get drunk and let slip that the video exists, and Soap is going to beg to see it, just so you know.

Ive mentioned what Soap wants for his birthday a couple of times, but I’ll say the more tame of my ideas again: no deodorant and he wants you to work out. Literally get as sweaty as you can with as much of your musk in your underwear as possible. Nothing to hide your natural scent. He wants to bury his face in your panties and your pits while her jerks himself off, then he’s gonna shoves his face in your cunt and spend a few hours down there.

Simon wants you to go somewhere with him wearing a skirt, and going commando. Some mid-thigh length number that he can easily slip his way under wherever you are, whenever he feels like it. Don’t worry, he’ll help you hold it down when a breeze comes by.

Price wants you collared. Who says just cause it’s his birthday, he should be the only one getting a gift? Don’t worry— he won’t have you leashed when you go out for his birthday dinner— just when you get home. Well, maybe in the car. But when you’re out, he keeps a grip on the back of the collar to lead you around, as casually as he puts his hand on the small of your back usually. And you KNOW the first thing that gonna happen when you get home is you getting on your knees, the leash wrapped in his fist while he pulls your mouth farther down his cock.

König wants heat roleplay. There, I said it. He already calls you maus, now he wants to see you wet and needy and desperate for him like a mammal in heat. Is he going to ask you to wear ears and a tail? No. Is he going to get so hard he almost passes out if you do? Yes. He loves the idea of you needing him and only him to be satisfied— that there’s a fire inside you that only he can quench. And to do so, he’s gonna have to fuck you raw until you’re dripping with him, bred the way you need to be.

Nikolai wants costumes and roleplay. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Teacher and schoolgirl, pilot and stewardess, slasher and camp counselor, knight and princess, evil advisor and princess (and yes, he gets you a different princess dress than the one from last year), he comes up with a new one every year. Once he even managed to get what quite honestly looked like authentic uniforms from world war 2, one Russian infantry and one nurse’s uniform.

[luvergirl-866]

something like love

part - 7

pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count - 10.7k

c/w - language, substance use, smut

a/n - took me five days but here’s your long chapter!! i really hope this lives up to your expectations! as always lmk how u feel and live react plsss!!! (also, this is completely unedited and i wrote parts while high. as usual. i will come back to edit later 🙂‍↕️)

There are a lot of things you can learn about somebody in ten years. There are the basics, of course: Their favorite color, and whether it changes every few weeks. Their middle name, and whether they like it. Their childhood stuffed animal, and whether they keep it hidden in a closet.

Then, as you go from knowing each other for one month to one year, and one year to five, you learn other things. You learn about their relationship with intimacy. You learn about why they occasionally stare into space for minutes on end, mind somewhere far away even though they make such an effort to stay close to you. You learn how to ask the right questions in order to crack their shell just enough that they open up to you without breaking.

Azzi knows Paige like she’s a fact—solid, unchallengeable, honest.

But this morning, she doesn’t understand a single thing about her. And that’s not for lack of trying.

After their perfect day turned weird yesterday, Azzi had woken up on high alert. She’s so used to Paige being an open book that it makes her endlessly uneasy when she does strange, mysterious things like creating an ocean between them while they’re sleeping in the same bed.

Naturally, being hopelessly in love with Paige has gotten Azzi used to watching her. Analyzing her. Prodding her and testing her reactions.

So when they first woke up, she watched: Paige, naturally, was still sleeping. She had subconsciously moved toward Azzi in her sleep, but not by much. Her lips were pink and slightly parted, cheeks flushed with sleep, back rising and falling softly. The bedroom window was open in an attempt to fight off the summer heat, and birds were singing outside, waking with the sun—which rose in gentle orange and pink hues, shining through the sheer curtains, painting Paige’s skin and hair pastel. In that moment, Azzi really couldn’t blame herself for falling in love with her.

After Paige woke up, while they methodically went about their morning routines, she analyzed: the first thing she noticed was the silence; unusual, unsettling, and oh-so loud. Paige was never a morning person but she was a chatterbox through and through—she’d always wake up talking Azzi’s ear off about nonsense, and she’d do it drowsily, but she’d do it nonetheless.

The second thing she noticed was the way Paige refused to look her in the eye. Not even once, not even for a second. There was no sleepy smile when she woke up to find Azzi next to her, no silly faces while the two of them got dressed, no lidded, sleepy eye contact through the mirror while they brushed their teeth side-by-side.

And the third thing: Paige wouldn’t touch her. Not to brush against the small of her back while she moved past her into the bathroom. Not to pull her hair back for her as she did her makeup. Not even to fix her blouse when she mistakenly buttoned it wrong.

Now, the two of them are in the kitchen, alone—Paige’s siblings are still sleeping and her parents are both back at work, which is a blessing, honestly.

It’s time for Azzi to prod.

“Paige,” she says casually, the first thing they’ve said to each other all morning, “can you make me some coffee?”

Paige looks up from where she’d been on her phone, expression almost surprised at having been addressed. She looks as if she’s about to point to herself and say, “Who, me?”

Instead, she glances suspiciously between the coffee machine and where Azzi leans against the counter not four feet away from it. Azzi almost dares her to challenge her, to say something snarky like ‘Why don’t you get your own damn coffee?’

Paige may be acting weird, but Paige is Paige. And things may be changing in ways neither of them wants it to change but she would still do anything for Azzi. So, without a word, she gets up from her barstool and heads to the Keurig, sauntering all cool and level-headed like she’s not acting odd as hell right now.

It’s a little disappointing that Paige still hasn’t spoke, but not surprising. Sometimes she needs some extra help.

“So…” Azzi trails, waiting for Paige’s eyebrow raise and ‘So, what?’ back. It doesn’t come. Paige stares intensely at the coffee machine.

“How’d you sleep?” Azzi finally asks.

Paige starts rifling through the cabinets for a mug while the coffee starts up. Azzi can barely hear it when she says, “Alright,” but it still counts because it’s something. Two whole syllables.

“Any dreams?”

Is she imagining it? Or does Paige stiffen up at that?

No, she’s definitely not imagining it. Because when Paige turns to finally look at her—for the first time this morning, mind you—her eyes are wide and—is that a flush creeping over her cheeks? “Why you askin’ about my dreams? Did I sleep talk or sum’?”

Puzzled, Azzi blinks at her best friend, wondering why idle small talk would get such a reaction out of her. “Um, no? Just asking.”

Paige narrows her eyes at her, but when Azzi just stares back at her, perplexed, she relaxes and turns away. “Oh. Aight.”

“Well, I had a dream,” Azzi says. “We were characters in South Park.”

On any normal day, this would’ve had Paige interested and on the edge of her seat like that. But today, Paige just hums, kneeling down to pull sugar and vanilla syrup from a drawer.

“And you sounded like Eric and I sounded like Stan.”

Paige straightens up, heading to the fridge. “They sound the same to me.”

Azzi glares holes into the back of her best friend’s head. “And we were playing basketball. But we were all short and stuff, so the ball was, like, as big as we were. I still got a ton of shots on you, obviously.”

Paige turns around with cream in her hand, Azzi flashes a dazzling smile, dimples and all. Paige barely even glances her way.

She’s not even going to argue with that? She’s not going to laugh at the sheer stupidity of that silly dream? She’s not going to fondly roll her eyes at Azzi’s grin?

Azzi’s starting to think something more sinister is going on here. Maybe alien abduction.

“P?” she asks, almost meekly, a last-ditch effort.

Paige merely hums, beginning to make Azzi’s coffee exactly the way she likes it, and that warms her a little bit.

“Hey,” she says, stepping closer, leaning against the counter beside Paige. “You good?”

“Uh-huh,” Paige replies. But her voice is…shaky. Not quite like herself.

Beginning to get a little concerned now—not just for the entire trajectory of their relationship but for her—Azzi lays a hand on her shoulder, gently so as not to spook her, almost like she’s a timid dog. “You sure?”

Azzi studies Paige’s face carefully. She’s gone pale, except for the blush on her cheeks, which is now brilliantly (and adorably) pink.

Paige nods, but Azzi doesn’t buy that one bit, and now she’s wondering whether this is really about yesterday like she’d originally thought. Maybe this whole time she’s been so self-centered to think it was about her. Maybe it’s got nothing to do with her at all.

The thought is so relieving it nearly makes her knees buckle.

Almost gleefully, Azzi reaches up to touch Paige’s forehead, and then her cheeks. “Are you feeling okay? Are you sick?”

“Azzi, I’m fine,” Paige insists, and she sounds so defensive that it has the opposite effect.

Sure of herself now, Azzi wraps her hands around the back of Paige’s neck, pulling her down so her best friend’s forehead is to her cheek—something Katie always did to her and her brothers when they were little. “I dunno, P. You feel kinda warm to me.”

“Shit,” Paige hisses, suddenly yanking herself from Azzi’s grasp, staring down at her hands. Azzi follows her gaze to find Paige has spilled a good amount of cream over the counter.

“Hey, it’s okay—“ Azzi begins, reaching for the roll of paper towels, but Paige holds up a hand to stop her.

“Azzi. For real. Just…listen, I need a sec, okay?” she’s still all wobbly, and her hands are shaking as she brings them up to rub at her jaw, eyes closed.

Surprised, Azzi rears back a few steps, putting distance between them. “P, what…?

“I’m fine,” Paige says, but it sounds like she’s on the verge of tears as she cups her own face with her palms and it goes against every instinct Azzi has but she begins to back away. Slowly, like she’s waiting for Paige to change her mind, for her to reach for Azzi and fall into her arms and tell her what the fuck is going on right now.

She doesn’t. And Azzi can only mutter, “I’ll be in the room,” before she’s out the kitchen, heading up the stairs and clutching at her stomach like she can somehow stop the anxiety boiling deep inside.

————————————————

An hour later, Paige is walking through the bedroom door with a jovial smile on her face.

Azzi startles when her best friend walks into the room, preparing to deal with this mood that seems to have overtaken her, and her jaw very nearly drops when she sees the expression on Paige’s face.

“Hey,” Paige says when she spots Azzi (who has been curled on the bed for the past hour, trying to stave off these new existential crises). “Watcha up to?”

Azzi doesn’t reply. She doesn’t even sit up. She just stares at this scarily bipolar form which has somehow taken the shape of her best friend.

“It’s too hot to be out today,” Paige goes on without waiting for an answer. She kneels down to rifle around in her suitcase. “So I was thinking the movies? Just me and you?”

And then she starts humming. Like, actually humming to herself.

Azzi has absolutely no idea how to approach this situation. She’s almost afraid to even move, as if Paige were a motion-activated bomb—because that’s kind of what it feels like right now.

“Yo,” Paige says at Azzi’s continued silence, standing up with a pair of shoes in hand. “You wanna go or not?”

Azzi wishes she could bask in it—the sudden normalcy, the way Paige is talking to her and looking her in the eye and no longer seeming on the brink of passing out. But it’s such a stark difference from this morning that all Azzi can do is wonder what happened in the past hour to cause such a severe change.

“Azzi,” Paige urges, and for some reason that’s what gets Azzi moving.

She sits up straight, staring Paige dead in the eye when she asks, “What is up with you?”

Paige doesn’t get defensive, and that tells her everything she needs to know. “Nothin’. Just wanna go watch a movie.”

Azzi doesn’t return her friend’s charming smile. “Don’t play, Paige.”

Paige has the audacity to look confused. “Huh?”

If she’s going to play dumb, that leaves Azzi no choice but to be direct. “I’m just wondering why you were acting bitchy to me all morning and now you’re walking in here, acting like nothing happened?”

“Oh, that,” Paige replies, but there’s nothing convincing about her clueless act. It’s obvious in the way she averts her eyes, crosses her arms. “I just didn’t feel good, like you said. But I took some medicine, so we’re up.”

“Uh-huh,” Azzi replies.

“Yeah.”

“So, you didn’t feel good. That’s it.”

“Yep,” Paige replies cheerfully, kneeling down to start putting her shoes on.

“And that’s why you couldn’t touch me, or talk to me. Or even, like, look at me.”

Paige stares down at her feet, fiddling with the laces, tying them slowly to put off the inevitable moment she’ll have to stand back up again. “I dunno. Didn’t notice I was doing that.”

“Paige,” Azzi says, and Paige must sense that she’s really serious now because she looks up, watching her swing her legs over the edge of the bed. “Please, just talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Paige replies simply, standing with one shoe untied to sit by Azzi on the bed.

Her detachment, her false answers and carelessness, are so frustrating it almost makes Azzi want to cry. “If you’re mad at me about—what I said yesterday, at the lake, then just tell me. I don’t want things to be weird between us just because we’re not talking—“

“Whoa, hey, slow down,” Paige says, and the hand she places on Azzi’s knee is so comforting she really could cry at this point. “I’m not mad at you. Did you think that this whole time?”

“Obviously.” Azzi widens her eyes at her emphatically. “What else was I supposed to think, when you were acting all weird towards me?”

Paige frowns at that, looking genuinely troubled at the notion of Azzi’s internal conflict. “I’m not mad at you, ma, for real. I just—“ she sighs, taking her hand off Azzi’s knee to run over her face. “I couldn’t really sleep last night, my mind was going like a hundred miles per minute for some reason.”

“About what?” Azzi asks.

There’s that same reaction from earlier—the stiffness and the blush. Like she’s embarrassed, or maybe even guilty?

Seriously, what is that about?

“Oh, nothing,” Paige replies airily, waving her off despite her mildly visceral reaction to the question. “Just a buncha stuff. And then, well…” she trails off, glancing at Azzi to see if she’ll be able to get away with it. She’s met with a stern glare that clearly says don’t you dare close up on me again, and sighs before continuing. “I’ll be real, I did have some dreams last night, once I finally fell asleep. And they were—they kept waking me up, but every time I fell back asleep they’d just come back again.”

“Like, scary dreams?” Azzi asks, brows furrowed. Paige has occasionally had nightmares while they were together, but they always have her jerking around or talking in her sleep so much that it wakes Azzi, who will wake her best friend and speak softly to her of good, happy things in order to lull her back to sleep. It’s never affected Paige so badly that she was a completely different person when she woke up.

Azzi watches Paige’s throat bob as she swallows thickly before saying, “Something like that.”

Azzi doesn’t reply. She doesn’t really know how to—doesn’t know where she stands right now, in this weird, unfamiliar territory they’ve stepped into.

Paige speaks for her, never good with lingering silences. “Hey, uh, a few of my cousins up here—they’re around our age, and they’re gonna be throwing this big party tomorrow. They invited us to go.”

Azzi hesitates. “They invited both of us?”

“They wanna meet you. Since you’re my…”

“Girlfriend,” Azzi finishes.

Paige nods slowly. “Right.”

“And you really wanna go? With me?” Azzi asks.

Paige scoots a little closer, lays her hand palm-up on Azzi’s leg. When Azzi takes it, instinctually, it’s like finding her footing again. “Don’t wanna go anywhere without you.”

One of these days, Azzi will learn her lesson. One of these days, she’ll straighten her spine and figure out how to tell Paige no, how to say what she really wants to say.

Today, though, is just like any other. That is to say, Azzi falls for pretty blue eyes and prettier words, and says what she knows Paige wants to hear: “Okay. Why not?”

Paige grins at her, and Azzi almost forgets this whole strange morning, their little argument yesterday, the kiss that preceded it.

Key word: Almost.

Because there’s this sinking feeling in her stomach that won’t quite let her forget.

————————————————

Getting ready for this party is turning out to be absolute hell.

“Azzi, just get ready at the hotel.”

“No, Paige.”

Paige sighs dramatically. While Azzi has spent the past thirty minutes stressing, carefully picking an outfit that will be cute, reasonable for the weather, and won’t wrinkle during the two-hour car ride to the next town over, Paige has been sitting peacefully on the bed, making unhelpful comments and showing Azzi TikToks every two minutes.

“At least do your makeup there. It’ll sweat off during the car ride.”

“I have a good setting spray.”

“Azziii, for real, I wanna get on the road,” Paige says, practically whining at this point.

Sighing, Azzi shakes her head, knowing she’s going to lose this argument no matter what. “Okay, fine. But still—my outfit.”

Paige, apparently finally deciding to be helpful, rolls off the bed and sits beside Azzi by her suitcase. “You got so many outfits to choose from.”

“None of them are working.”

“Just wear basketball shorts like me.”

Unfortunately, Azzi isn’t sure she’s masc enough to get away with basketball shorts, a sports bra, and an oversized button-up quite like Paige can. But Paige wouldn’t understand that.

“What about these jeans?” Azzi asks instead of answering Paige’s suggestion.

“Nah,” Paige says, “it’s s’posed to be hot tonight. Wear shorts.”

“Okay…” digging around, Azzi finds a little pair of shorts she isn’t really sure why she brought—she could never wear them around Paige’s family. With all the rips in the front, and the way it hugs her ass, it’s not exactly family-friendly. But for a party…

Spotting the way Azzi’s hand is lingering over the shorts, Paige grabs them up and holds them in front of her. She appraises them for a moment before putting them in Azzi’s lap. “These.”

“You think?” Azzi hesitates.

“Yup,” Paige replies simply. “Think they’re cute. And you won’t overheat.”

With some more help from Paige, Azzi finally ends up in an outfit that the two of them have deemed suitable for the occasion.

(“Are you sure it’s not too…slutty?” Azzi had asked, looking at herself in the mirror—Paige came up behind her and brushed her hands over her waist and said, “Nah, looks perfect on you,” and Azzi’s decision was made.)

Now, an hour later, only halfway through their mini road trip, Azzi highly regrets the tiny shorts and tinier top.

From the driver’s seat, Paige side-eyes her and smirks when she sees her wriggling around for the millionth time, trying to get comfortable. “You all good?”

“These are up my butt,” Azzi complains, pulling at the hem of her shorts.

“So I’ve heard.”

“Paige!” Azzi’s top begins to slip and she yanks it up, frustrated. “This is uncomfortable.”

“I told you to get ready at the hotel.”

Azzi should’ve been prepared for the I told you so, but it still makes her mad and she crosses her arms, staring out the window with what she’s sure is a mean pout.

Paige reaches over to tug on one of Azzi’s braids. “You sulking over there?”

“No,” Azzi replies, even though she very much is.

There’s a moment of silence, and Azzi is beginning to think Paige is done with the conversation before she says, “Why don’t you just take ‘em off?”

Azzi can’t help but laugh a little at that. “You wish.”

“I’m serious,” Paige replies, and with a quick glance at her side-profile Azzi realizes she’s telling the truth.

“You really want me to strip in your car?” Azzi teases, and before, this is something Paige would’ve laughed at before playfully flirting back. But now, Paige’s eyes widen and dart over to her, and Azzi is maybe not completely teasing.

“Chill,” Paige replies simply, voice betraying nothing even though the blush on her cheeks says otherwise. “Just don’t wanna hear you complaining for the rest of the drive.”

Of course, Azzi is not going to take off her shorts. Things between her and Paige are already weird and, not to mention, she’s wearing a thong. It would be crazy. It would be inappropriate.

But these shorts are really tight. And they still have an hour to go. And maybe Paige would give her The Look, the one Azzi hates and doesn’t understand but is also coming to associate with those charged moments between them, the moments where things shift and change and it seems as if any minute one of them is going to surge forward and—

Slowly, Azzi reaches across herself, and unbuckles her seatbelt.

Paige’s breath hitches. “Watcha doing?”

Azzi hums, and her fingers move to her own stomach, letting them trail down playfully to the button of her jeans, watching Paige’s eyes go from her to the road and back. “Just taking your advice.”

“Oh,” Paige says.

Azzi pulls the zipper down.

The two of them have seen each other in various states of undress countless times before—last year, Paige even got so drunk that Azzi had to help her out of her clothes completely and into the shower. But Paige was laughing and rambling and tripping everywhere and Azzi’s sole focus was on making sure she didn’t slip and crack her head open on the shower tiles.

Azzi’s never given herself the opportunity to look the way she really wants to. And she’s been operating under the fact that she would never be looked at the way she wants to be, either.

But now, as she lifts her hips off the seat and wriggles out of these tight little shorts, Paige is looking. She’s looking so hard they might crash.

The shorts slide down her leg, dangle around one of her ankles. Azzi lifts her foot and delicately plucks it off. Tosses it into the backseat.

Paige’s hand twitches on the center console. Fingers splaying wide open like they need something to do.

Azzi has spent practically her whole life giving Paige whatever she wants, because that’s what you do when you’re in love with somebody, isn’t it? And so there’s really no thought to it when she takes Paige’s hand. Nothing tentative in the way she lifts their joint hands, pulls them into her lap. No hesitation when she presses Paige’s hand into her bare thigh.

Paige is staring firmly ahead now. The hand still on the wheel is fisted tight, knuckles bloodless. And when she mutters Azzi’s name, it’s quiet but unmistakable.

For the first time, knowing that Paige can see her in her peripheral vision, Azzi lets herself look. Lets herself study the flutter of her lashes, the slope of her nose, the pink of her lips. Her sharp jawline, her furrowed brows, her neck and collarbones. And then her eyes travel back up to Paige’s, admiring the blue shamelessly as she whispers, “You can touch me, Paige.”

Paige’s throat bobs. Her fingers twitch. And then, slowly but surely, they dance over Azzi’s skin. Azzi gasps softly when they brush the inside of her thigh, and that seems to encourage Paige because then her hand is traveling higher up, up to wear her shorts would’ve been covering, tips of her fingers getting so fucking close to where Azzi has wanted her for so long.

And then she stops. Straightens her shoulders and focuses more sternly on the road, but her hand stays firmly put before it squeezes just a little bit.

Azzi’s eyes flutter shut.

They may or may not spend the rest of the car ride just like that.

————————————————

Even before they step inside, Azzi can already tell how bumping this party is. Loud music blasts from behind the front door, and flashing LED lights shine through the curtains on the windows. For the first time, Azzi gets a little nervous—with parties, Paige usually finds some random people to branch off with while Azzi hangs out with whatever team members came with them. Now, with just the two of them, Azzi worries about being left in a corner with a red solo cup and a headache. The thought makes her turn to Paige.

Paige, mid-reach for the doorknob, pauses when she clocks Azzi’s anxious expression. “Hey, what’s up?”

“I just—“ Azzi sighs, then clutches onto Paige’s arm, glancing nervously toward the front door and the party that lurks within. “Don’t leave me tonight, okay?”

Paige smiles softly, and Azzi thinks briefly that friends don’t look at each other this way. “I won’t, ma. Promise.”

And Azzi believes her.

When they finally get inside, Azzj counts on them being able to slip in unnoticed, considering how many people must be crammed into this house. But, to her surprise, they’ve barely even shut the door behind them before the foyer—and the open living room beyond—absolutely erupts. People were laughing and talking and singing before, but now there’s straight-up screaming as young adults crowd around the two of them, whooping and hollering and saying things like “Lil Paigey in da house!”

Paige laughs, waving people off as she reunites with old friends, and the crowd seems to be trying to separate them but Paige wraps her arms firmly around Azzi’s waist and doesn’t let go.

After a minute, the crowd calms down, letting Paige’s cousins come up and give her hugs, the three girls squealing (Azzi doesn’t think she’s ever seen Paige squeal before) as they gush about how much they missed each other and how good they look and Azzi almost misses it when one of them says, “Oh my god, hi! Cousin-in-law!” before she’s the one being attacked with hugs.

“I’m so happy we finally get to meet you!” One of them—Avery, Azzi thinks—says quite loudly in her ear.

The other one—Lauren—squeezes her so hard she almost lifts her off the ground. “You’re so pretty! Look at her, holy shit, you’re so pretty!”

After the initial shock, Azzi can’t help but laugh, the excitement from these two girls nothing if not contagious.

After a few seconds, Paige pulls them off her, gathering her right back into her side once she’s free. “Chill on her, we just got here!”

Standing beside Paige, and in front of these two girls, all three of which have matching smiles, blue eyes, and blonde hair, it’s sort of like seeing triple.

“Sorry, we’re just—we’ve been so excited to meet you,” Avery says, cheeks flushed as she grins warmly at her.

Lauren nods in agreement. “P has been gatekeeping you, for real!”

Azzi grins quizzically up at Paige, who shakes her head, thumb rubbing over Azzi’s waist. “Nah, y’all have her social media. I just didn’t wanna share my pictures of her.”

Azzi rolls her eyes, slapping Paige’s stomach with the back of her hand before turning to her cousins. “It’s really good to meet y’all, too.”

The two girls beam at her before reaching for her, each of them taking a hand and tugging.

Paige holds fast to her waist. “Hey, where y’all tryna take her?”

“Relax, we need to give her a grand tour!” Avery says. Azzi wouldn’t mind leaving Paige’s side just as long as she’s with these two girls, but Paige seems to have other opinions about it, if the way she’s relentlessly holding onto her says anything.

“I can come with you,” Paige protests.

“No, P, how are we gonna tell her your embarrassing stories if you’re around?” Lauren jokes, dramatically rolling her eyes.

Paige holds on even tighter at this, and Azzi sort of feels like a rope in a game of tug o’ war. “No way!”

“Paigeee,” Avery whines.

“Yo, for real, gimme my girlfriend back.”

Azzi nudges Paige with her elbow. “I’m good, P.”

Paige looks down at her incredulously. “What happened to, ‘Paige, don’t leave me, I’m sooo nervous’?” Paige asks, all whiny and flirty as she mocks her.

Azzi frowns. “That’s not how I sound!”

Finally, in her moment of distraction, Avery and Lauren manage to wrench Azzi out of Paige’s iron grip. “We’ll take good care of her, Paigey,” Avery assures, slinging her arm around Azzi’s shoulder. “Don’t even worry.”

Paige glares at the two of them, arm outstretched like she’s hoping Azzi will fall right into her, and she can’t lie, she’s more than tempted to.

But she also wants to hear those embarrassing stories her cousins were talking about.

“Go make her a drink or something,” Lauren calls over her shoulder as they whisk her away. “We’ll bring her back soon!”

Azzi sends a sheepish smile and wave her way, giggling when Paige flips her off. Maybe this night will be fun, after all.

————————————————

The tour only lasts around fifteen minutes, but by the time they’re finished, Azzi is missing Paige desperately. She thinks they may be getting a little too attached, but then, haven’t they always been?

When she finally spots Paige, man-spreading on a couch holding two cups, the relief only lasts for a second because then she notices that she is sitting next to a very pretty girl. A very pretty girl with dark skin and dark hair and a gold, glinting nose ring and a laugh that tinkles all the way across the room, even over the raucous noise.

“Oh, boy, look who found Paige,” Lauren grumbles beside Azzi.

Azzi looks over at her. “Who is that?”

“That’s Amariah,” Avery replies. “She grew up in Paige’s neighborhood.”

Amariah. The name rings a bell somewhere far back in Azzi’s memory.

“She’s had a huge crush on Paige for, like, ever,” Lauren goes on.

“And then, when Paige came up during Spring break in junior year, there was this party and they hooked up,” Avery says, and that’s when it clicks.

Amariah, of course. Azzi remembers the call she’d gotten that night, the way Paige’s cheeks were bright red as she told Azzi the whole story of how she’d slept with some random girl at a party. More than anything, Azzi remembers the jealousy, hot and heavy, that had burned in her stomach, and she remembers the way she’d ended the call early only to get no sleep that night—thinking of Paige with another girl.

“Is that so,” Azzi replies.

“Uh-huh,” Avery says. “I’d go get my girl if I were you.”

That’s exactly what she does.

Smiling gratefully at the two girls, Azzi begins making her way through the crowd, marching to the other end of the living room. Paige doesn’t even notice her walking their way, apparently too engrossed in whatever amazing thing Amariah has to talk about. It’s only when she’s a couple feet away that Paige looks up and sees her, and the way she beams almost makes up for everything. Almost.

“Hey, Az,” Paige says when she gets close enough to hear. “There you are.”

“Here I am,” Azzi replies, unable to keep from smiling back at her best friend. “That my drink?”

“Uh-huh. Been waiting for you.” Paige hands Azzi’s drink to her, then pats her lap, and it takes Azzi a moment to realize that Paige wants her to sit there. Her body starts moving before her mind can catch up, sitting herself sideways on Paige’s lap, skin heating up when Paige’s arm finds its place around her waist. “My cousins bother you?”

Azzi shakes her head, wrapping an arm around Paige’s neck and looking down at her. Their faces are close, noses practically touching, and she can see every detail of Paige’s features, the makeup gracing her eyes and lips and cheeks. Azzi wants so badly to kiss her, and Paige looks like she might be leaning in…

A cough. Loud and intrusive, and it’s not even really a cough—it’s an “Ahem.”

Paige, apparently remembering herself, tears her eyes away from Azzi’s to look over at Amariah. “Oh, my bad, I forgot y’all have never met.”

“We haven’t,” Amariah says, not so much smiling as she is baring her teeth. “Who’s this, Paigey?”

“I’m Azzi,” she says before Paige can introduce her.

“You play at UConn, too, right?” Amariah asks, and Paige and Azzi both nod. “Didn’t know you were comin’ up with P this summer.”

It’s likely been at least a year since Paige saw this girl, and yet she’s calling her Paigey and P like they’re best friends. It makes her tug on Paige’s neck, pulling her head closer almost protectively.

“Couldn’t leave her,” Paige says, and this time, when Azzi looks down at her, Paige does kiss her. Just a peck on the lips, but it makes Azzi take two large swigs from what tastes like the straight vodka in her cup. “Right, baby?”

“Mm,” Azzi hums around the alcohol in her mouth.

“Cool,” Amariah says in a tone that implies she deems nothing cool about this. And even with Azzi so obviously laying her claim, and Paige so obviously all dopey for her, she still has the audacity to scoot a little closer, brushing her hand flirtatiously against Paige’s shoulder. “So, where were we? You were about to tell me that story, from school?”

“Oh, uh,” Paige gives Azzi one last long look before turning back to Amariah, “yeah. Yeah, sorry, lemme try to remember…”

She knows it’s silly, but Azzi is furious. At Amariah, for thinking she has even the slightest chance with Paige, and at Paige, for talking to this girl when she has Azzi literally in her lap.

Azzi finishes off the vodka in her cup, letting it burn her throat and warm her belly. And then, instead of asking Paige to set it on the side table for her, she shifts, swinging her leg over Paige’s and sitting up on her knees so that she’s straddling her, and she only catches Paige’s shocked expression before she’s leaning over and setting her cup down.

“You finished with that, babe?” she asks Paige, and Paige nods wordlessly, handing Azzi her empty cup. When Azzi leans over again, she knows her tits are fully in Paige’s face.

With both their hands free, Azzi settles back down, sitting fully on Paige, arms around her shoulders. Paige smiles a little wide-eyed up at her, hands resting low on her hips. But then she turns right back to Amariah and continues her story.

What the hell?

Azzi watches Paige’s side profile as she speaks, looking at her just like she looked at her in the car earlier—and the thought of the car, the heat between Azzi’s legs and Paige’s fingers so close to her, possesses her to lean forward and press her lips to Paige’s cheek.

Paige doesn’t respond, doesn’t even falter in her story-telling, but her thumbs start rubbing circles on Azzi’s hips.

So, Azzi kisses her again. And again higher on her cheekbone, then to the spot beside her ear, and now she’s sort of just trailing slow, sensual kisses across Paige’s jawline, completely unsure how she got here but not about to stop anytime soon.

Paige’s hands slide to the small of her back, clasping behind her like she’s holding her in place. Azzi moves Paige’s hair—which is down, and Azzi loves when Paige wears her hair down—out of the way before placing a tentative, soft kiss on her neck.

Finally, Paige falters. Just a little, probably not even noticeable to Amariah—who is glaring daggers into the side of Azzi’s head, where she’s buried in Paige’s neck.

Gaining confidence from the way Paige’s hands begin rubbing her back, Azzi trails a hot path down the column of her throat and back up, practically licking her way up to Paige’s earlobe before she sucks on it, letting out the quietest, breathiest moan into Paige’s ear.

Paige gasps, but she doesn’t stop telling her stupid fucking story.

Her hands, however, find their way to Azzi’s ass.

Pleased with herself, Azzi takes Paige’s button-up and pushes it off her left shoulder, giving her so much access. She’s on a roll now, and Paige’s hands on her ass feel so good, voice lulling so nicely in her ears even though it’s another girl she’s talking to.

It’s practically feverish, the way she latches onto Paige’s shoulder. Scrapes her teeth against it, bites it, and then sucks. Hard.

Paige stiffens, squeezes her ass.

Azzi doesn’t pull away for what must be an entire minute. And when she does, she opens her eyes, studies the bright-red mark like she’s an artist and this is the best piece of her life. She knows that’ll be purple by tomorrow, and she’s too tipsy to care.

She goes back in and soothes her tongue over the spot, tasting the salt and perfume on Paige’s skin—god, how long has she wanted to taste Paige, just like this? Since she was fourteen? And now she’s finally doing it, and maybe she should suck another hickey into her neck, just for good measure, just to show this bitch Amariah who Paige really belongs to—

“Az,” Paige says into her ear.

Azzi shoots up, and her voice is raspy when she says, “Yeah?”

It’s then that she takes note of how flushed Paige is, how her chest is heaving with each breath she takes. She looks so good like this. Azzi can’t help but lean forward, nuzzling their noses together.

“Hey,” Paige says softly, squeezing her ass which does horrible things to her mind, “why don’t you get us another drink, mama?”

Azzi pouts at her. She does not want to leave this lap.

“I know,” Paige says even though she didn’t even say anything. “I just…” she leans forward until her mouth is beside Azzi’s ear, “can’t hold it together like this. I need a sec, okay?”

And that knowledge—that she has an affect on Paige—turns her mood right around. “Okay, okay.” Reluctantly, she slides off Paige’s lap, straightening out her shorts. “I’ll be right back.” And, somewhat smugly, she looks at Amariah, who is practically fuming at this point. “You want anything?”

“Nah,” Amariah says through gritted teeth. “I’m all good.”

“‘Kay,” Azzi says happily.

She’s not sure, but she swears she hears Paige say, “Thanks, baby,” on her way out.

Fire spreads low in her belly.

————————————————

Later, they find themselves on the floor, all over each other while a couple other girls sit with them. They’re using the drinks they’ve had as an excuse to be practically in each other’s laps, flirting and giggling like nobody’s business—even if they’re kind of making it everybody else’s business with how many people have clocked them tonight.

“Can y’all stop mating for a couple seconds?” Avery asks good-naturedly, elbowing Azzi.

Reluctantly, the two of them pull away from each other, but Paige’s arm stays slung around Azzi’s hips.

“Okay, y’all know what I wanna do?” says one of the girls. There’s only about five of them, all circled up and pressed together on the living room floor. “I wanna play truth or drink.”

“Fun!” Lauren says. “We should do it.”

“Okay, Paige.” This is another girl—Paige introduced them earlier but Azzi doesn’t remember her name. “What’s your body count?”

Paige glances over at Azzi, then uses her free hand to take a drink from the malibu they’ve been sharing.

“You keeping secrets from me?” Azzi teases, not nearly as bothered by this as she would be if she were sober.

Paige purses her lips, moving her head from side to side. “There mighta been a few girls I never told you about.”

Azzi gasps, even though she can’t really bring herself to care about other girls—not when Paige is all over her like this. “You gotta tell me later!”

“Yes, ma’am,” Paige replies, cheeky little smile and all. Azzi wants so badly to kiss her.

“Love to see Paige isn’t in her hoe era anymore.” The last girl—Azzi actually remembers this one’s name, it’s Riley—laughs.

“It’s about time she wifed Azzi,” Lauren says. “With how damn much she talks about her.”

All the girls nod, and the one whose name Azzi can’t remember says, “Can we blame her, though? Look at her.”

And then they’re all turning to Azzi, cooing and giggling about how pretty she is and about how ‘if Paige didn’t lock you down I would’ve.’

Paige pulls Azzi into her side. “This one’s mine, y’all can get your own!”

Everybody laughs and the game continues. A couple rounds down, when everybody has gotten a chance to both spill secrets and drink a little bit, Azzi gets asked the most personal question thus far, from Avery: “Out of all the people you’ve slept with, who gave the best head?”

Everybody giggles and Azzi is tipsy and not in her right mind so, instead of making something up, she tells the truth, which is, “I’ve actually never gotten head before.”

Everybody stops laughing, looking at her like their jaws might hit the floor. And then Paige is staring at her wide-eyed and she remembers, they’re dating, and she knows enough to know that Paige is an eater, and if the two of them were actually together she’d probably be getting head, like, three times a day.

So she covers it up with a laugh, waving them all off. “I’m kidding. I think you all know the answer to that,” she says, wishing more than anything she were telling the truth.

Paige kisses her cheek. But as somebody else gets asked a question, she’s still got her brows furrowed in Azzi’s direction, and Azzi wonders what she’s thinking so hard about.

For some unknown reason, she can’t wait to get to the hotel tonight.

—————————————————

The two of them don’t actually leave the party until close to one in the morning. They get far too caught up in beer pong, in dancing—in each other.

When they finally get to the hotel, they’re drunk, but not wasted. Thanks to Avery for making them have a glass of water in between each drink.

Of course, Azzi would rather not be wasted. It’s no fun. She loves this light, swaying feeling that comes with being the right amount of drunk.

But with the way Paige has been looking at her all night, she needs to be more inebriated.

It’s only a couple minutes since they arrived at their hotel room and Paige seems to be thinking the same thing. After she takes off her shoes, she flops face-first onto the bed and says, “Wanna be more drunk right now.”

Azzi giggles, walking towards her best friend and sitting cross-legged next to her. “Me too.”

Paige lifts her head. “Think they have champagne in here or sum?”

Azzi shakes her head.

Paige sits up and makes to get off the bed. “Nah, I’m sure they do—“

Azzi grabs Paige’s wrist. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she says, pulling Paige to sit beside her. “I just mean…we don’t need to drink more.”

Paige sighs dramatically. “Yeah, I guess you’re probably right.”

“No, silly.” Azzi giggles again. She is so in love with Paige. “I mean…” she reaches into her pocket. And then she pulls out the joint Lauren gifted her earlier. Pre-rolled and everything.

Paige’s eyes light up. “Did you…” she laughs, “steal that?”

“No!” Azzi replies, whacking Paige on the arm. “Nah, your cousin gave it to me. She’s so sweet, huh?”

“Uh-huh,” Paige says, rolling off the bed and rummaging through her overnight bag.

Azzi lays back against the sheets. “Paigey?”

“Yeah?”

“What’re you doing down there?”

“Nothin’, mama, just tryna find—yes!” Paige stands and Azzi leans up on her elbows to watch her crawl into bed. She’s holding something square and bright pink in one hand as she crawls rather seductively toward Azzi. “Lighter,” she explains when she gets close.

Azzi smiles widely, excitement bubbling in her belly.

“Hold it up,” Paige instructs, and Azzi does, bringing the joint to her lips, making dangerous eye contact as Paige lights it.

Azzi feels herself relax even before the first puff hits her system. Paige stays close and the smoke blows right into her face, making both of them laugh. Paige stares at her for a moment before saying, “Lemme go open the windows.”

While she’s gone, Azzi takes another two drags, and Paige narrows her eyes as she hops back on the bed. “Aight, slow down. Puff, puff, pass.”

Azzi smiles slyly as she passes the joint, watching Paige smoke it. Paige leans back on her free hand and Azzi lets her eyes rove over her covered shoulders, her sports bra, her stomach.

“Eyes up here,” Paige says, handing it back.

Azzi makes a face, too inebriated to care that she’s been caught.

“You wanna see ‘em?” Paige asks.

Azzi coughs a little on the smoke, “See what?”

Paige raises her eyebrows, then begins undoing her button-up before pushing it off her shoulders. And there, on her left shoulder, are three red marks, already darkening after just a couple hours.

“Huh,” Azzi says, taking another drag, “coulda sworn I only left one.”

Paige snatches the joint back. “Quit hogging this shit!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Azzi would usually roll her eyes, but that would entail taking her gaze from the hickeys on Paige’s skin and she’s not willing to do that for even a second.

“They’re brutal, huh?” Paige asks after two puffs.

Azzi shrugs, leaning up a little more on her elbows when she realizes she’s sliding down. The joint hovers near her lips as she says, “I’ve done worse.”

Something flares in Paige’s eyes at that. “To who?”

“Dunno.” When Paige raises her eyebrows, Azzi does it right back. “What? You’re not the only one who had a hoe era.”

“Didn’t hear too much about yours,” Paige mumbles, fumbling for her phone as Azzi takes a puff.

A moment later, R&B starts crooning through the room. “That’s because it’s private, P.”

“Mm-hmm.” The joint is short now as Paige takes another puff. “Were you being for real? Earlier?”

Azzi closes her eyes, leaning her head back. “About what?”

“That you’ve never gotten head.”

“Yeah,” Azzi responds. “I was being for real.”

“Hm.” Paige nudges Azzi, and she opens her eyes for another smoke. “Why not?”

“Dunno.”

“There’s no way nobody’s wanted to before.”

“Yeah, it’s not that.” Azzi’s eyes are hooded now as she looks into Paige’s red ones. “I just…I say no, when they offer.”

“Because you don’t want it?”

“Because it’s scary.”

Paige frowns at the joint, which only has a drag left in it now. “What’s scary about it?”

“It’s so…personal.” Azzi shrugs. “I’ve never trusted a stranger enough for that.”

Paige nods, still staring at the blunt. Azzi doesn’t think she’s listening anymore. “That thing almost gone?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.” Paige looks at her, then back at the joint. “Here, lay back.”

Azzi grins. “Why?”

“Bro, trust.”

Azzi does. So she lays back, watching as Paige lazily crawls on top of her, straddling her legs.

Azzi’s hands move on their own accord, pressing into Paige’s stomach just to feel the muscle there.

With her free hand, Paige moves her hand to Azzi’s chin. “Open your mouth, mama.”

There’s smoke in the air, pressure between her legs. Azzi squirms to try to relieve it.

“Az,” Paige says, and Azzi’s eyes snap to her at the stern tone. “Open.”

Azzi obeys without hesitating, and she’s only a little surprised when Paige puts her thumb in her mouth, humming a little.

She doesn’t even need to be told before she closes her mouth around it and sucks.

Paige sighs, blunt damn near about to go out as she rocks her hips up against Azzi’s crotch just slightly. “So good for me, hm?”

Azzi nods, trying her best to keep her eyes open as she laves her tongue around Paige’s thumb. They hold eye contact for another moment before Paige remembers the joint and takes the last pull.

Azzi feels a little betrayed, thinking this was just a trick to get the last smoke, but then Paige is leaning down, pulling her thumb out and using it instead to hold her mouth open, and then she’s pressing their lips together, shotgunning the smoke directly into Azzi’s lungs.

It’s the easiest drag Azzi’s ever taken.

Azzi is only sort of aware that Paige doesn’t pull away once Azzi inhales. She’s only sort of aware that Paige’s tongue is taking advantage of her open mouth, licking into her, letting Azzi’s teeth graze over it while they kiss, open-mouthed and sloppy.

Azzi’s heart races when Paige’s hands begin to wander, feeling them go from her throat to her shoulders to her tits, where they hover.

“You good?” Paige mumbles against her. Azzi nods.

Paige squeezes her tits, fisting them up and then brushing her thumbs against her nipples, hard underneath her thin shirt and bra.

“Love your tits,” Paige mumbles, pulling away to kiss down her neck, reminiscent of their moment at the party earlier.

“Yeah?” Azzi breathes.

“Yeah, fuck.” Paige’s breath is hot over Azzi’s neck and she tilts her head to the side, moving her braids out of the way.

“Can’t believe what you pulled tonight,” Paige says, leaning down to nip at Azzi’s shoulders.

“On the couch?” Azzi asks. She can’t help but grin thinking about it.

“You got me all worked up in front of everyone,” Paige’s hands move down to Azzi’s stomach, playing with her belly piercing while she sucks hard at the place she just bit.

“Mm,” Azzi says, closing her eyes and letting the memory, paired with the feeling of Paige’s hands and lips, overtake her. “Couldn’t help it. You were talkin’ to that girl.”

“Yeah, fuck—so needy when you’re jealous, huh?” Paige asks, kissing at Azzi’s cleavage. “That’s so hot.”

“You’re so hot,” Azzi breathes. Under normal circumstances, she’d never boost her best friend’s already huge ego like this. But this is the farthest thing from normal circumstances.

Paige smirks against her skin, the cocky bastard. “Yeah? You think so?”

“Shut up,” Azzi responds, gasping when Paige sucks a mark into the top of her breast.

“This outfit—so fuckin’ slutty,” she says, biting at the sensitive mark she just made.

“You picked it,” Azzi reminds Paige, holding onto her shoulders in an attempt to ground herself.

“I changed my mind. Don’t want anybody to look at you, ever fuckin’ again.”

Azzi laughs breathily at this. “Want me all to yourself?”

Paige lifts her head up to meet her lips again, her arms wrapping around Azzi’s back and arching her off the bed, pulling her close. “You know I do,” she says, pulling back from the kiss to look at Azzi with something like reverence. “All mine.”

Azzi isn’t. All hers, that is. Not really. Not even now. Not knowing that all of this is pretend.

But, maybe Azzi has been all Paige’s since the day they met. Maybe a piece of her heart escaped her own chest and made a home happily in Paige’s, and maybe it will be there forever.

So she nods. “All yours, P.”

Paige smiles so, so big at her, and when they kiss again they’re both giggling, not even really kissing at this point.

“Wait, Paige,” Azzi laughs as Paige’s hand moves to her ass, “what’re we doing?”

“Kissing,” Paige replies.

“Duh, I knew that, genius,” Azzi says, flicking Paige’s forehead, which makes both of them dissolve into giggles again.

“But, seriously!” Azzi continues once she’s gathered herself. “P, you’re my best friend.”

“And you’re mine,” Paige says, nuzzling their noses together.

“Do you think it’s—like, okay? That we’re doing this?”

Paige licks her lips, pressing another kiss to Azzi’s. “We can say…we’re just practicing. We said we’d practice, remember?”

Azzi nods, remembering that conversation that feels so long ago now. “We did.”

“So, this is us practicing.” Paige kisses her again, “And it has nothing—“ another kiss, “to do with the fact like I love—“ yet another one, “kissing you.”

Azzi laughs, squirming away. “Paige!”

“Hmm,” Paige responds, eyes wandering down Azzi’s body.

“Hey,” Paige says after a moment, “do you trust me?”

Azzi brushes a strand of hair out of Paige’s face before cupping her cheek, smiling when Paige leans into her. “More than anyone.”

“So…” Paige smiles deviously, ducking down to press more kisses into the tops of Azzi’s breasts, “would you let me go down on you?”

Azzi laughs at the pure absurdity of the question. “P, don’t play like that.”

“I’m being so deadass,” Paige says, and when Azzi looks down, Paige is already looking at her. There’s no mirth in her tone, in her eyes.

Azzi’s stomach tumbles. “…Seriously?”

Paige nods.

“You…” Azzi furrows her brows, “want to?”

Paige leans up, kisses her tenderly on the lips. “You have no fucking idea.”

That is new information. New and insane and something she will work through tomorrow, when she’s sober.

Right now, all she can think of is the ache that’s been between her legs all night. And the way Paige could help her with it.

“Please,” Paige mutters against her lips, “wanna make you feel so good, baby.”

Azzi looks at her best friend. Her swollen lips, the hickies on her shoulder, her tousled hair.

And she says, “Okay.”

Paige’s eyes light up, and she wastes no time clarifying. Her hands go straight to Azzi’s top, making quick eye contact and pulling it off when Azzi smiles at her.

“Fuck,” Paige says, staring at Azzi’s tits through her lacy bra.

Azzi watches her with amusement, running her hands through Paige’s hair. “You’re no better than a man.”

“I’m not,” Paige agrees, leaning down to litter kisses over all the newly exposed skin. Feeling her lips over her warm skin is good, but it’s not…enough.

“Paige, can you…”

Paige’s eyes dart up to her, searching her face. “You want me to?”

“Uh-huh.”

Paige’s hands move up from her lower back to her bra clasp, and Azzi lifts slightly off the bed to make it easier. Paige makes quick work of it and then she’s sliding that down her shoulders, throwing it across the room like it’s offended her.

Azzi’s hazy as fuck, high and floaty and carefree, but when Paige looks down at Azzi and stares, everything suddenly feels too scary, too vulnerable. She moves to cover herself up, but Paige catches her wrists, pressing a kiss against one of them, eyes darting back to Azzi’s with a comforting smile. “You okay?”

Azzi nods, then shakes her head, then squeezes her eyes shut, embarrassed. “You’re just—looking at me.”

“I am,” Paige says, and Azzi hates the way she sounds slightly amused. “Az, look at me, for real.”

Reluctantly, Azzi does, and Paige’s eyes are all red and hooded and the smile on her face and dopey and she looks faded as hell, but this is still her best friend. The one who knows her, who sees her—who is seeing her like this, right now—and who still continues to be her best friend. To love her.

“I’ll stop looking, if you want,” Paige murmurs, leaning down to brush her lips against Azzi’s ear. “But I don’t think you want that, do you?”

The ache between her legs is nearly painful at this point. Truthfully, Azzi shakes her head.

“You look good, Az,” Paige responds, pulling away and leaning back down to her tits. “So fuckin’ pretty.”

She looks up through her lashes as she leans down and suckles a nipple into her mouth.

Azzi sighs at the first real contact of the night, hands fisting Paige’s hair to pull her impossibly closer, hips bucking up on their own accord.

Paige holds her down, mumbling at her to be patient while she trails kisses over to her other tit, licking around it and flicking her tongue over her nipple before she sucks a mark into the skin just beside it.

“Paige,” Azzi gasps, cradling her best friend’s head close. “P, feels so good, oh my God.”

“Yeah?” Paige asks, grazing her teeth over Azzi’s sensitive nipple. Azzi keens, hips fighting against Paige to reach up, looking for any type of friction. It makes make chuckle against Azzi’s skin. “She wants me so bad, huh?”

“Don’t refer to it as she,” Azzi giggles, and Paige laughs, too.

“I’ll say whatever I wanna say,” Paige replies, laughing a little as her kisses stray further down Azzi’s chest, head bobbing a little to the music in the background while she kisses her languidly.

Azzi smiles down at the top of her head. “This is so crazy.”

“What?” Paige licks around Azzi’s belly piercing, not stopping her when she bucks up this time. “That I’m bouta go down on you?”

Azzi nods, tilting her head back to look at the ceiling. “Yeah. Isn’t it crazy?”

“Uh-huh,” Paige replies, sucking a mark into Azzi’s abs. “Knew I’d do this someday, though.”

Azzi pushes her shoulder playfully. “You did not.”

“Did too.” She smile devilishly, wiggling her eyebrows while she kisses around the mark she’s made. “You couldn’t resist me if you tried.”

“Shut up,” Azzi says, rolling her eyes.

“Nah,” Paige replies, fingers moving to the button of her jean shorts and fumbling with it. “And you better fix your attitude.”

“What, before you fix it for me?” Azzi asks, lifting her hips to help Paige pull the shorts down.

“Careful,” Paige responds, throwing the shorts somewhere across the room. “Gonna fuck it outta you.”

Azzi nearly whines at the mere thought, and then Paige spreads her legs open and places open-mouthed kisses on the inside of her thigh, and she really does whine.

Paige bites the soft flesh there, soothing her hands up Azzi’s stomach as she does so.

Azzi’s head falls back once again, because she worried if she keeps looking at Paige she’ll come just from this.

“Mm,” Paige hums into her thigh, licking a long stripe up to where she needs her, tongue stopping just shy of her core. “Watchu want, baby? Want me to eat this pussy?”

Azzi’s hips cant up at the words, a breathy moan escaping her lips. “Fuck, P. Yes, shit, want you so bad.”

“Know you do,” Paige coos, pressing a kiss to Azzi’s cunt, clothed only in her thong. “So fuckin’ sexy.”

Azzi swears she’s actually floating at this point, levitating off the bed from Paige’s words, her touch, which has gotta be magic.

“Take them—off,” Azzi insists, hands going to the waistband of her panties to do it herself, but Paige stops her.

“I gotchu,” she mutters, kissing down her thighs while she pulls the thong down Azzi’s leg, and it soon joins the rest of her clothes on the hotel room floor.

She sits back on her knees, hands rubbing Azzi’s thighs as she admires her, all spread out just for her.

And then she bends down and presses the flat of her tongue against Azzi’s dripping cunt.

“Fuck!” Azzi cries out, the sensation against her pussy unfamiliar and sort of odd and so, so good.

Paige licks up her one more time, gathering her wetness before she separates her folds with her fingers and sucks her clit into her mouth, eliciting a surprised gasp from Azzi.

“Good?” she mumbles, pulling back just enough to look up at her.

Azzi nods, pushing her head down urgently. “Uh-huh, just keep going, baby.”

Paige smirks, looping her arm around Azzi’s thighs and pulling her closer, Azzi gasping as she’s jerked forward. She gets back to it, kitten-licking Azzi’s cunt, eyes closed as she tastes her, and then she opens them and groans. “Fuck, Az. Such a pretty fucking pussy.”

A flush settles over Azzi’s entire body at the words, goosebumps popping up over her bare skin even though she’s the farthest thing from cold.

Paige lays one of her hands flat against Azzi’s pelvis, using her pointer finger and thumb to keep her spread open while she places filthy, open-mouthed kisses over her cunt, tongue dipping into her like it did her mouth while they were making out. Azzi props herself up on her elbows, chest heaving, wanting to watch. Paige opens her eyes and catches sight of her—braids tossed over one shoulder, tits rising and falling, abs clenching against the pleasure in the core—and groans, sending vibrations straight through Azzi’s pussy.

Paige’s eyes stay open, all hooded and sexy, as she moves her head down and finally dips her tongue inside Azzi’s entrance, pulling a high-pitched whine from her.

Something flashes in Paige’s eyes and Azzi isn’t really sure what happens, but the next thing she knows Paige is burying her entire face in her cunt, tongue fucking up inside of her so good, and Azzi’s head falls back as she lets out a moan that’s downright pornographic. “Oh, P, feels so good—gonna come, ‘m so close.”

Paige only nods, doubling her efforts and moving her head back and forth, pulling her tongue out to lick repeatedly from her hole to her clit, creating a rhythm that’s absolutely deadly, and then Azzi’s legs are shaking violently and her thighs clamp around Paige’s head, and Paige sucks her clit into her mouth and shakes her head, and Azzi practically screams Paige’s name as she comes hard.

Paige eats her through it, slowing down but not stopping, Azzi falling back against the sheets, unable to hold herself up anymore.

“Fuck,” Paige mumbles into her pussy, and when Azzi tilts her head she finds Paige’s mouth and chin shiny with her own slick. “So pretty, mama. Look at you,” she kisses against Azzi’s hole, “comin’ all over my face like that.”

“Paige,” Azzi sighs, reaching down to push Paige’s head away from her overstimulated cunt. Paige doesn’t budge, kissing up to her twitching clit, causing Azzi to jerk. “Baby, it’s too much.”

Paige’s tongue comes back out, licking delicately at her entrance. “Please, Az. One more.”

Azzi shakes her head, holding onto Paige’s hair, trying to clamp her thighs shut. “I can’t.”

“Yeah you can,” Paige murmurs against her, nose nuzzling her clit while she tongues her entrance again. “Be such a good girl for me and take it, huh?”

Paige holds Azzi’s thighs firmly open, and Azzi is already dripping again, so that’s that.

Paige digs back in, slurping at Azzi’s impossibly wet cunt, eating her like she’s a woman starved. Azzi is still so sensitive from the last one and it almost hurts when Paige suckles her clit, but it also makes her whine, hips lifting off the bed to hump against Paige’s face.

Paige moans into her, teeth grazing ever-so-slightly against her engorged clit, and that does it—with a weak cry, blonde hair fisted in her hands, Azzi comes for the second time, hips immediately trying to get away as Paige works her through it.

Wiping her face with the back of her hand, Paige crawls back up Azzi’s body, smiling proudly. “Did so good, baby,” she coos, kissing Azzi’s cheek before collapsing next to her, pulling her into her side.

Azzi lets herself be held, tracing her fingers gently over the skin of Paige’s stomach. “You’re good at that.”

“I know, mama,” Paige chuckles.

“Hey…” Azzi presses her hand against Paige’s stomach and lifts herself up so they’re face-to-face, “Paigey, I wanna do you, too.”

Paige stares at her, then shakes her head. “Nah, I’m good, baby.”

“Please?” Azzi pouts. It’s totally unfair that she’s laying her, naked and spent, while Paige is still fully clothed.

“We gotta go to sleep, it’s getting late,” Paige replies, pulling Azzi back down.

“Why can’t I?” Azzi pries, laying her head on Paige’s chest. “I’d be good, I promise.”

“I know you would,” Paige replies, and she sounds like she means it. “I just…it’s okay. Really.”

Azzi doesn’t argue any more, because Paige is tracing soothing shapes over her back, and slowly but surely she’s being lulled to sleep.

But she does wonder, vaguely, if she will ever get the chance to do this again. And, more pressingly—what this means for them.

—————————————————

The next morning, the first thing Azzi does when she wakes is reach blindly across the bed for something warm and solid and snuggly with the name Paige.

Her hands fist cold sheets, and her eyes shoot open.

“P?” she calls, listening for sound in the bathroom. No answer.

Azzi looks down at herself, naked and bruised from the waist down.

Fuck. Fuck.

“Paige,” Azzi tries again, rolling out of bed and reaching for her phone. No messages. No note on the bedside table.

Pulling the sheet up to cover herself—even though nobody’s around—she navigates to Paige’s contact and constructs a message:

Hey, where’d you go?

She waits a few minutes for the answer, but when it comes, it’s wholly disappointing:

Went for a run. Be back by eleven.

The period at the end is all too telling.

Paige fucked her last night. And then left her to wake up cold and alone in the morning.

There’s nothing good about this.

@azzibuckets @smiths-fan--13 @ch12334 @makethemhoesmad @the-other-half @rosemariiaa @router2260 @guesswhoitsn @patri-ots87 @unadulteratedcyclepaper @ijustreadignoreme @pazzilover101

also lmk if yall want the songs i listened to while writing *that* scene 😼

[lovesickhughes]

SILVER BELLS   — nico hischier x reader 

a/n: happy december! here is the first of my upcoming christmas series. i loved writing this so much and feel like it was a great way to start the holiday season! a big thank you to @hughesinthebox for helping me with the ending of this fic, it honestly made it 10x better and more adorable, i appreciate you! i hope you enjoy 🫶🏻🎄🤍🧣

tags: nico hischier x reader

warnings: mentions of pregnancy (not the reader), FLUFF TO MY CORE

word count: 2.3k

series masterlist

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

“Alright, just one more button and you, my little munchkin, will be all ready to go,” You heard Nico coo to your eight-month-old daughter as he buttoned up her cotton onesie that provided an extra thick layer of warmth to take on the brisk December air. As for yourself, you paced around the main room of your parent’s house, gathering all the last belongings you needed for the family outing. 

Thankfully this year, the Devils’ schedule aligned perfectly with the holidays, giving you ample time to share with your family before Nico would soon be back to his busy schedule and captain responsibilities. 

Nico and you were visiting your parents in your hometown for this week, before travelling to visit Nico’s side of the family the following week. While your family decided to stay at home and spend time watching Christmas classics, your brother and sister-in-law, as well as Nico, you and your daughter Ivy, decided to attend the city’s Christmas market and Christmas tree lighting. 

You remember as a child, experiencing the amusing sights of all the houses in your neighbourhood decorated with bright and colourful lights, so when proposing the idea to your siblings and husband, they all were more than happy to reminisce over your shared childhood. 

Nico delicately placed Ivy in the carrier, buckling her into the seat, making sure she was adjusted correctly, before grabbing his own coat to put on, picking it up from the dining room table and sliding his arms through. When you had finished packing the diaper bag to go, placing it on the table next to Ivy, you peek over at your bubbly daughter, eyes growing soft at the sight of her features, knowing they were an exact copy of Nico’s. 

You sigh in content, “my sweet girl.” You said quietly, before reaching down to place a kiss on the soft skin of her cheek. As you stood back up, you felt the hands of Nico slide to your sides, squeezing softly, causing flutters to rush through your veins. 

You turned in your stance to face him, his hands still resting on your hips. 

“Hi, you.” You say through a giggle, trying your hardest to hold back the giddy feeling that erupted through your body. 

“Hi, baby,” Nico responded, leaning down to place a quick peck on your lips, before smiling into your eyes again. Your hands lift to come to his shoulder, resting around his neck and your hands finding the nape of his neck, scratching softly. 

“Thank you for getting her ready.” You thanked, smiling as you looked back to your left at your daughter who quietly babbled to herself. 

“You don’t need to thank me.” Nico responded with a squint in his eyes. He then reached down again to meet your lips, this time holding the kiss a few seconds longer with more adoration filled between. You both pull away, smiling at each other before getting your shoes on and bidding your goodbyes to your family staying home, and exiting the house to meet your brother, Noah, and sister-in-law, Lauren, who would be driving the group to the venue. 

Nico opened the one back door of the SUV, while you walked to the far side of the car, sliding into the middle seat to help Nico attach the baby carrier with Ivy inside, into the seat of the car, making sure it was secure for the drive to the market. 

“All ready?” Your brother asked from the driver seat, turning to look back at the three of you in the back row. Nico and you gave a nod, while Ivy was preoccupied with her new stuffed animal your Mom had gifted her as a welcome gift to Grandma and Grandpa’s. 

The drive passed by quickly, but the parking situation added an extra twenty minutes to the commute before you were all stepping out of the SUV. You walked to the trunk of your brother’s car, opening the door over your head and pulling out the stroller for your daughter and setting it up, while Nico began putting on the baby carrier he agreed to wear for the day for your daughter to have a better view. 

Placing the diaper bag in the bottom part of the stroller, you then reached in the side door of the car to unbuckle Ivy from her seat, her expression lighting up when she saw your face. 

“Hi, my sweet girl!” You exclaimed, mouth falling open in excitement, earning giggles and incoherent noises from your daughter who wiggled in your grip. Her legs bounced up and down in excitement as you held her slightly above your shoulders, and you pulled her in, peppering kisses onto her soft cheek. “Ugh, mommy loves you so much.” You mumbled into the side of her head while kissing the fluffy hood that covered her head. 

You turned to face Nico who already had his gaze landed on you, a look of adoration filling his eyes. The two of you swiftly placed your daughter into the carrier, Nico adjusting the straps on his shoulders, while you made sure the contraption was snug around all areas of your daughter to keep her safe. 

Once ready, the four of you and your infant set foot towards the city’s display. There was live Christmas music playing in the distance, while the noise of bustling cars and city life filled the background. 

“I’m glad we could do this,” Lauren said, and the rest nodded in agreement, “especially getting to show little Ivy the awesome Christmas lights.” She cooed as she looked towards Nico who had his arms out in front of him to let Ivy hold onto his fingers. 

You smile at the sight, feeling a warmth run through your veins. “Me too, I appreciate you both coming with,” You smile at your brother and his wife, “It’s almost time you two bring a little one like Ivy into the group.” You joke, nudging your brother who walked beside you, pushing the stroller for you, despite the protest. 

You arrive at the street that hosted the Christmas market, white tents being set up on either side of the street, all filled with small businesses selling their products. It varied from homemade foods like flavoured dips and jars of pickles, to handmade ornaments and other decorations for the holiday season. You all perused down the street, finding little gifts to give to your family members and friends. 

A couple of hours had gone by before the sun had started setting and the thick snow clouds began to cover the night sky. The plans followed that you would attend the Christmas tree lighting in the main quad of the venue, before heading back to your parents’ house for dinner. 

Ivy had periodically napped throughout the day, and thankfully had a moment of energy, perfectly enough at the time the massive sixty-foot tree would be lit up and glisten in the snow that had just begun to fall. 

The crowd gathered around, forming a circle around the barricades as the workers hustled in preparation. Nico stood closer, wanting Ivy to have a view of the lighting, while your brother stood next to him and they chatted amongst themselves. 

Lauren and you stood behind, gazing at the pair, a warm feeling in your heart at the sight. No one would have told you even three years ago that this is where you would be, married to the Devils’ captain with a kid. 

Nico had – without a doubt – changed your life for the better. He provided you with love and a sense of security and there was never a moment where he didn’t bring you joy. And to make it even better, sharing a child with the man you loved was the biggest blessing you could have ever received. She was your lifeline and more, and you wanted nothing more than to provide with all the love you had to give in your heart. 

The countdown began, everyone chanting the numbers in anticipation, and you peered over Nico’s shoulder to see your daughter’s reaction. When the number reached one and the tree erupted in a bright, illuminating essence, the squeals from your daughter made your stomach flutter in a mother-ly instinct. You smile at her and reach your hand and place it on her small torso, rubbing up and down as you whisper sweet nothings to her. 

You look up at Nico who is already smiling down at you, a bright smile erupting across his face before he leans down to kiss you. The kiss is soft, but filled with affection and desire. 

When you pull away, you smile at your husband again, before lifting yourself on your toes to place a peck on his rosy cheek, cold to the touch from the winter air. 

“I love you,” you speak softly so only Nico can hear. He smiles at you even brighter, placing another quick kiss to your lips. 

“I love you more, honey.” He smiled back. 

When you step back behind your brother and Nico, Lauren nudges your shoulder to reach your attention. 

You turn to face her, “Y/n,” she says seriously, “with the way Nico looks at you, and how you are as the most adorable little family,” she pauses, pulling you in closer to her frame, “I can’t wait to tell Noah we’re going to have one of our own.” She says through a smile, a shocked expression falling onto your face in excitement. 

“You’re kidding, when did you find out?” You asked excitedly. 

“About a month ago, I was waiting to share the news, but I felt like you deserved to know a bit before the rest.” She spoke softly, smiling. 

You gave her a quick, but tight hug, careful not to bring attention to yourself and sister-in-law. 

“Ivy’s going to be so excited to have a little cousin.” Was all you could think now having revealed Lauren was expecting. 

–

Later that night, after Ivy was fed with her bottle, and placed in her portable bassinet, Nico and you were now getting ready for bed, sharing the bathroom that was across the hall from the spare room you were occupying at your family’s house.

Nico had already changed, so after brushing his teeth, he made his way into bed, careful to not disrupt Ivy’s peaceful state. 

You follow shortly, turning off the hallway light and quietly retreating back to the spare room, avoiding making too much noise to prevent waking any other family members up. Shutting the door behind you softly, you walk to the side of the bed you would be sleeping on, quickly stripping from your sweatpants and sweater you had been wearing while watching classic Christmas movies with your family after a delicious dinner. 

Nico, from his side of the bed, reaches on his side attempting to reach for your bare hip that was only covered by the thin layer of your black lace underwear. He manages only to snug a finger under the fabric, letting the elastic snap back against your skin with a smirk written on his face. You playfully scold him for his attempt, before quickly slipping on your pair of Christmas themed pyjama shorts and matching button-up top. 

Climbing into bed, you immediately find yourself in the embrace of Nico, his arm wrapping under your frame and around your shoulder, while his other arm meets the side of your hip, his hand lightly gripping your body. 

“How was your day, my love?” You asked as a small whisper, cautious of your sleeping daughter. Looking up at Nico, you admired his features, his moustache growing more prominent as you insisted he regrow one after the month of November, and his tired but soft eyes looking at you. 

“Amazing, Ivy’s reactions made my whole world.” He smiled with excitement as he recollected his thoughts from today’s events. 

Before you could respond, his face nuzzled into your neck, inhaling your scent, his facial hair tickling your face and earning a giggle from your lips. You lightly push away from Nico, placing a kiss on his jawline before he laid on his back and you hovered over him. 

“You can’t say anything yet, and you’ll find out soon,” you whispered, “but, Lauren’s pregnant… she told me today.” You said through a smile, having to bite your lip to prevent yourself from making any noises of excitement. 

Nico’s eyebrows raised, eyes widened and mouth slightly fell open in surprise, “no way, good for them.” He smiled before he paused for a moment, looking like he was trying to gather the words to say something else. 

“What?” You encouraged softly, giving him a slight pout. Nico’s hand reaches and meets your hip again, slipping under your shirt to run his hand up and down your back. 

“Nothing, well–” he pauses, almost looking nervous, “it can’t help but make me want to have another one.” He states, earning a shocked expression on your face in return.

“Really?” You clarify and he responds with a nod. 

“Maybe not right at this moment, but I’d love to give Ivy another sibling or two. I want nothing more than to make a family with you and now that we’ve started, why stop?” He proposed. Your heart melted hearing those words fall across his lips, so much that words could not describe how you felt. You plant a slow, intimate kiss on Nico’s lips, Nico inhaling sharply through his nose at the contact before melting under you. 

You pull away, your breathing hitched. 

“So I take that as a yes?” Nico offered through a laugh, and nothing else would be a sufficient response other than bringing your lips to his again, nodding your head in agreement at the offer. 

Oh, how the Christmas season brings an array of holiday surprises. 

[gejo333]

Can you make a fic based off of wife!reader & husband!miguel?

Miguel was with his friends downstairs and they were pretty drunk after all those beers & Miguel had said something hurtful to reader? Just pure angst 🙂‍↕️🫶🏻

Your Spiderbite Hurts Me the Most

Miguel O’Hara x Wife Reader Oneshot

Sorry I haven’t answered this in so long!

Hope you enjoy it! 💕

Wc: 1.7k

————————————————————————

Your tired gaze stared half-heartedly at the paper in your hands. Another negative pregnancy test. As soon as you saw the result your crumbled up the paper and threw it into the bin underneath the sink. Taking a deep breath as you lean your hands against the marble counter top.

"Y/n! Where did you go?! We're out of beers down here!" Your husband's voice roared from downstairs followed by his boastful laugh.

You claw your nails against the palm of your hands daring for blood to spill. Not like your husband would care if you hurt yourself. Probably wouldn't blink an eye if you slit your wrists here and dropped dead on the bathroom floor. Your gaze went to the large sparkling rock on your left hand as you felt another piece of your heart break. With every fiber of your being did you miss the man who gave you this ring five years ago. How you would do anything in the universe to get that version of your husband back.

"Y/n!"

"Coming!"

You make sure you look presentable before rushing downstairs to the main living space. You put up a loving and happy smile as you head towards your husband who was sitting down on the sofa chair talking with his friends from work.

"Finally you come down. Can you get us more beer?"

"Is that seriously why you called me downstairs?" You chuckled trying to hide your annoyance.

"We're out of beer. I thought you could be a doll and go get us some more." Miguel slapped your ass making your face redden in embarrassment as you slap his hand away, glaring down at him. He and his friends only laughed in return as he grabbed you by the waist and placed you on his lap. You pulled back as you could smell the beer on his breath.

"Don't you think you've had enough?"

"I've heard enough of your complaining. Am I right?" He laughed followed by his other friends.

"Hey Miguel maybe you should go teach her a lesson in the bedroom." One of his guy friends chimed in. You felt your gut raise to your throat as you saw the creepy look on his face as he said that. God when did Miguel start hanging around such sleeze bags? You missed his old colleagues like Jess and Peter. But after your last miscarriage about a year ago you haven't seen them since. You honestly haven't seen your real husband either.

"How about you guys enjoy the football match and I'll pick up more beer and snacks for you." You get out of Miguel's lap before he can decide if he wants to take up his friend's suggestion.

Without evening a glance from your husband who went back to talking to his friends as you grab your coat, gloves, scarf, and purse and head out to the store.

The ice chill of a December night wrap around your body as you walk outside. Maybe you take the long way. Let him and his asshole friends wait longer.

As you walk on the street you notice all the Christmas decorations throughout the city. If anyone was in their apartment they wouldn't even know it was the festive holiday.

A couple not much older than you and Miguel walk past you, arm in arm enjoying each other company and whispering sweet comments. You felt extra cold on your right side, the side Miguel was always on when walking outside together arm in arm as you rest you head against his bicep. Now you rarely go anywhere together and when you do your always a foot a part from each other.

You quickly wipe a tear falling down your cheek as the couple walking past you briefly smiles at you in pity.

As you walk into the store you notice a woman look up at something in the sky in awe as you hear her say to someone, "Look! It's Spiderman."

You lazily walk down each isle trying your best to waste more time and annoy your husband. After getting the beer and chips your husband likes as well as a couple of bottles of Chardonnay for yourself you lazily push the cart passed the electronic section where quite a few people were stopped in front of the TVs watching the news.

"Wow that spiderman sure is amazing." Said one man.

"I saw him in person once. He is so big!" Said a woman.

"He has the perfect physique. I wonder if his face is just as attractive." Said another woman talking to her friend.

"I heard he has a deep voice." She replied.

"Whatever girl is with him is so lucky. I'm jealous."

You rolled your eyes from the conversation you eavesdropped as you decided you spent enough time in the store. Ever since this superhuman appeared from nowhere three years ago everyone in Nueva York has been adoring him. Sure, your grateful that the crime rate has gone down significantly, but you didn't understand the hype around him.

After checking out you head back to the penthouse apartment you supposedly called home. Despite such a horrible year between you and Miguel with the constant fights you still loved him with your whole being. You hope maybe one day the man you fell in love with would one day come back to you with a loving smile and open arms to hold you close.

You take a deep breath before sighing as you turn the key in the lock before entering. As you enter the living space all eyes were on you.

"Finally she's back. What took you so long? The store is only two blocks away."Miguel impatiently asked as he walked up to you and snatched the case of beer in your hands.

"Your welcome?" You lightly glare at him which he returns before heading back to the living space.

You stomp after him as he sits back in the same spot. He looks up to you in question for standing in front of him.

"Seriously Miguel?"

"Ooo someone is in trouble with the missus." Said one of his friends who became quiet when Miguel shot him a glare.

Miguel grabbed your waist and forced you to sit on his lap. With the death grip he has on your waist you dared not move.

"Your mind is in circles today. It must have been when you banged it earlier today when cleaning under the table. She such a clutz, no wonder she keeps having miscarriages. Even if we could have a full time pregnancy she probably wouldn't be a good mother either." Miguel chuckles.

A smack echoed in the room as his head was turned to the side with a large red mark and small scratch on his cheek from the large diamond on your wedding band. You immediately got out of his arms and stormed upstairs to your bedroom.

You laid on the bed facing the alarm clock on your side of the bed watching as the hours went by. It wasn't until the clock struck 3am that you heard Miguel stagger into the bedroom. You felt arms pull you against a warm body as lips met your neck.

You wiggled your body out of his grip.

"Por favor mi amor." (Please my love)

You turn your head to face him as you shoot him a light glare. "I'm not in the mood Miguel. Your words really hurt me. I can't barely stand to look at you right now."

You heard him sigh as a chill was felt against your back from the lack of his warmth. You felt the dagger in your heart press deeper, making it hard for air to come into your lungs.

The deafening silence was too much to bear as you immediately get up from the bed and head to the closet to get dressed. When your dressed you leave the bedroom to head downstairs, immediately your followed by your curious husband.

"Where are you going at this hour?"

"Out." You head to the front door to grab your purse. Before you could leave you were stopped by his hand around your wrist. You glared up at him.

"It's not safe for you to be out by yourself. If you need to go for a walk so badly let me come with you." You see concern in his brown eyes, making yourself almost consider his offer. His soft eyes briefly remind you of time before all this heartache. But his words from earlier appeared back in your mind and your bleeding heart once a again turned cold.

"I'm going on this walk to get space away from you." You opened the door a few inches before it was slammed closed again by an hand above you. Your back was against the door with Miguel right in front of you inches away. His fingers lift your chin as his eyes move from your lips to your eyes.

"Please don't go. At least wait till morning. Then we can go out and talk." His lips brushed against yours but before they fully met you pushed him back.

"No. I don't have anything to say to you. I'll only talk to the Miguel who loves me and treats me they way he use to and wouldn't dare speak the words you did today or have you been treating me this past year. If you keep this up...I don't...I don't think I can stay in this marriage any longer." You look to him, eyes wide in shock from your words before you opened the door and left.

As you made it outside you were relieved that he didn't follow you. You continue to walk until you find your self in Central Park where you find a bench.

As soon as you sit the tears fall down your face as you contemplate everything that's happen this year wondering what went wrong. Your weary body and mind succumb to the cold of the night as you pass out from exhaustion on the bench.

Miguel stood before your sleeping state. Reddish-brown eyes gaze down at the clear exhaustion shown in your face in worry as he picks you up bridal style, whispering, "I promise you'll shed no more tears after tonight."

————————————————————————

This definitely will have a sequel. I should have the next chapter of “An Unexpected Match,” out soon! Hope you enjoyed this one shot!

[brynn-lear]

Paper Canes (Yandere!Capitano/Reader)

Chapter 3 overview: Some people bet on their lives, some bet on their death. Alice of the Hexenzirkel had to learn that in a rather unsettling way.

CW/Tags: slowburn/soft yandere themes, afab!reader, unrequited love/obsession. While this fic isn't "too dark", the reader isn't mentally stable. Please prioritize your health first, you matter.

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2

You're always unhappy around Alice.

Alice is, by every account there is to be counted for, a very whimsical woman and a non-traditional mother— someone who will certainly die unconquered. If there comes a time when there would be no naysayers to disparage her name, then it would be safe to assume you no longer reside in Teyvat. The Tsaritsa duly noted your fervent distaste for her. You've sent infertile insults on her way and turned malicious thoughts into plans once or twice, but that fiery woman is no different from a cockroach. Christening the formula, you were certain you'd molded your schedule perfectly to avoid her mischievous gaze. Alas, you were wrong, and being wrong makes you unhappy—

Unhappy to have yourself wholly examined.

"I'm glad I roped you into a tea party with me! Here I thought I was shooting in the dark when I guessed you'd take the long way back."

This encounter happened on October 20th three years ago.

The year you lost your youth.

"If you're so painfully aware of how much I do not want to be here, why go to such lengths?" You grumbled, less of a question and more of an attitude show.

Alice poured you a cup of tea. In a way, you envied her. The iridescent flecks in her crimson pupils, the silky cream hair that drapes on her shoulder… a woman of her description was worth making a monolith for. What a shame that this was not your flavor.

Capitano's honestly far more gorgeous. But the last time you told him that, he said you shouldn't tease him.

"Isn't it obvious?" She laughed awkwardly, thanking good fortune for crafting an environment wherein you'd stab her with words, not weapons. "I'm not about to let a cute lovelorn woman ruin her chances of romance, you know?"

"Romance?" You scoffed.

Before you were Granny (Y/n), you were that "attention whore" of a harbinger. Your strength lies in forming connections and throwing extravagant social events. Balls, tea parties— you name it. It's what caught the Hexenzirkel's attention in the first place. No discrimination between humble folk and high culture. You were THE woman people seek as a medium for self-expression.

Though, if you were frank to anyone who would be willing to listen, you have got to be the most secretly antisocial host that ever graced public spaces. Outside those play-pretends, you keep to yourself.

So what the hell is she talking about?

"If you were reading your life as a novel, you'd swoon!" Alice grinned. "You know, the most you'll lose is some time and energy, but the most you'll gain is a lifetime with the Captain!"

Unlikely. If you were leafing through the pages of that novel, you'd see clearly how you went from going through life with spontaneous survival tactics before diving headfirst to unplanned survivor's guilt. Not that misery was ever willingly placed in one's schedule, of course.

"Don't care." You glared. "Don't use my life as a basic framework of history to write a cheap and marketable romance. I'm not a damsel in distress."

Alice laughed behind her painted nails. "Can you even defend yourself if I chucked a glove at you?"

"Do you want a show of hands?" You raised an eyebrow, irritated. "If so, there's nothing for me to demonstrate, I'm not—"

"Strong as you used to be." Alice's smile faltered. "Because you're giving up on the greatsword, right?"

She hovered her hand above yours hesitantly, before tenderly circling your palm with her thumb.

"I see through your facade; I know that your strength is dwindling." She sighed. "You're worried that you're falling behind—"

"I am. Mine may have slowed down thanks to the boughkeeper's help and pity, but I'm still rotting. The honor of strength is one I can freely do without. I'm confident I can still obliterate you."

"Indeed." Alice's eyebrows furrowed. "But is that any excuse to allow Pulcinella to plot against your back? To let him sweep that title off your feet and give it to a child who shouldn't be in danger?"

Ah, so this is what this is about. Not your non-existent love life.

Alice wasn't harassing for the sake of shenanigans. She wanted your hold on the 11th seat to remain firm so that a child wouldn't be forced into a life of hardship.

Subjectively neglectful as she may be, she is still a mother.

"Who says I want to continue being a harbinger?"

Alice froze upon hearing that challenging remark.

"Ruffie—"

"Don't call me that." You slammed a hand on the table, making not only those resting on the top jump but Alice as well. The table cracked. "If a kid replaces me, then so be it. Why should I give a damn?!"

What kind of self-absorbed fool would grieve over an empire of dirt?

Alice didn't look at you. Instead, her unsteady gaze was on the pack of cards that nearly fell off the edge.

You picked it up and snapped.

"What? You wish to play?"

Alice cleared her throat. The smile resurfaced on her face, eager to return the momentum she once had. "S-Sure! Why don't we play a game?"

As she was about to reach for the pack, you pulled it back.

"Hmm. I don't want to," you droned. "Let's have a bet."

Alice paled slightly. "A bet?"

"Don't think I haven't heard of your tales. I know you have a penchant for making others' lives infinitely worse." You put the deck down. "So, why not strike a deal."

"I didn't invite you here to make an enemy out of you."

"It's a friendly competition." You remarked. "I believe you'll agree to my terms."

Alice shifted from her seat. "Oh, okay then, I'm listening."

"Since you so badly want me to remain as the 11th, if you win I'll do as you wish. When challenged by that child Ajax, I won't hold back and let him scamper back." You shook the box. "However, if I win…"

You paused.

After scavenging through the shelves of your mind, finding a desire for fulfillment was surprisingly a chore. That isn't to say you have the world in your palms. There was no grand wish to shock her. If anything, what you wished was simple…

"Rest assured, Tsaritsa will say yes to an upcoming babyface." You smiled outwardly. "And you have to create a potion for me in return, witch."

"A potion…?" Alice batted her eyes, and suddenly, her mood lightened. "Could it be… You want a love potion too?!"

…

The room dropped a few degrees.

"Get a grip."

"K-Kidding, kidding!!!"

"And what do you mean by too?" The words slipped past you without a second thought. As you were about to retract them, thinking yourself above mindless gossip, Alice answered:

"Capitano asked if true love potions are possible, but started chickening out because of his morals— or at least something to that effect." Alice giggled. "He was so flustered and oddly ashamed of himself, you should've seen him!"

…

No, you'd rather not. Ignorance is bliss when it comes to your old friend. Whatever excites him is his business, not yours.

…

After a few rounds of silence, you spoke up.

"Wow, Alice." You said. "You are terrible at this."

The woman was set on making Klee shine, but her grasp of Kaeya's card mechanics failed her. She forgot that his burst demands a character switch to trigger its effect— a misstep that voided her melt strategy. Kaeya's card is squandered under her shaky command. Alice was left clinging to a dying Klee and Jean, the game slipping further from her grasp.

But all is fair in love and war.

You're shit at the game too.

Sure, she might have fumbled by leaving her last Jean card unequipped, but at least she wasn't as cursed by bad luck as you were with dice rolls and card draws. Broken Rime's Echo was the only gem in a heap of trash. Simply put, you've lost Columbina and a Pyro agent card.

You're deadset on winning with a terrible hand— she's locked in on having her precious golden child as the claimer of spoils.

Alice has her daughter, while you have…

"Isn't this adorable? You have your knight in shining armor with you!"

"He's not." You rolled your eyes. He knows what he truly is, and it's certainly not "your" knight.

"I could use a couple of astrology readings to check your compatibility~"

"No. Your readings are usually not just comments, but an arm-chair doctor level diagnosis."

"Yet I'm helpful, aren't I? Perhaps I've garnered polarizing reviews, but I was still deemed a wonderful advisor."

You glared.

"I'd give you your flowers; I'm certain you have helped many sort out their… issues. But I don't need your help or perceived pity. I'm rowing life smooth sailing."

You used Capitano's burst.

Jean gracefully exited the battle with a soft murmur about Mondstadt.

"Oh no, Jean!..." Alice looked genuinely upset. "Well, you don't have to say it, I can tell you need friends. One that wouldn't inflict…what does your coworker call it? Ah, right— vicarious trauma."

Getting personal huh? What a sour loser.

You laughed a little too loud, bitter. "Vicarious trauma… That's an even bolder diagnosis."

Once people are done singing praises, anyone can see you've lost more friends to "drowning" than you have in wars.

Alice cooed. "Still, you didn't deny that you need a partner— a soulmate. So why not let the lovesick Captain in?"

…

You quietly took a sip.

It's chamomile tea. Your favorite.

Which so happens to also be Capitano's. That man has a habit of forming his own opinions only after hearing yours.

Does he think having a lot in common means you'd reciprocate his feelings too?

… Surely not, he's smarter than that.

"His goals do not align with mine. He's best suited for a woman who would settle down. If you care so much, why not recommend him to one of your lady friends?"

"Everyone in Teyvat knows who he has eyes for."

"Ugh. Stop boring me with your half-baked drivels."

"Don't you pity him, even just a little bit?" Alice's voice softened. "Considering what he's going through right now?"

You froze.

There was a time… There was a time when he almost had a family of his own. But "his" poor dau—

You shook your head.

"I don't." You insisted.

"You're adorable— and a terrible liar to boot. Did you know that you keep looking up like Celestia would strike you for lying?" Alice sighed.

Upon having that epiphany, you fixed your collar and made a loud mental note to fix that habit.

You drew a card.

…

Seelie and Fatui Conspiracy.

You held back a grin.

Columbina… was she to praise for this dumb luck?

After a few rounds, you've activated both while Alice placed Liben and healed with sweet madame.

Capitano's on the brink of death.

How typical of him. Almost nostalgic.

"You'll lose," Alice said bluntly. "You really should think Capitano over. You're just hurting him and yourself by pretending not to know his feelings…"

You droned out her ramblings. None of that matters. You'd sooner get dressed for this stupid card game than a love confession.

There it is.

The seelie had its 3rd stack.

It gave you Adeptus Temptation.

…

But you don't have enough dice so you had to tune for cryo for now.

Klee had close enough energy for a burst, but Alice decided to play safe and heal.

You laughed, smiling at her without breaking eye contact.

"I was supposed to protect her, Alice. But I chose to host parties. When she lay in the hospital for her first, second, third, the fourth surgery, waiting for me, I sent a letter instead. I made an oath to protect her but what did I do? I sent two lousy paragraphs for some agent to read. And you think I have the heart to play sweet dolly in your game of house?"

You let out a short chuckle, the type only visible when the body slightly moves. Your disbelief is palpable, and your voice cold.

"You're funny, Alice. I'll give you that." You glared. "But you're too distracted."

Neither of you mentioned her name.

Was it out of respect or shame?

Who knows.

You don't want to remember her either way.

You made the last move.

…

…

…

"I… lost?"

"Wow, really, wow I never would've guessed you'd lose." You replied dryly. "It was such a close match too, oh wow."

You shrugged. "It's honestly so disappointingly anticlimactic the way you lost. Aren't you supposed to be a master of all things immature?"

Capitano wouldn't have won if it weren't for the attack boost. The last support card buffed his damage by 3 points… You'd thank him and Columbina after this but they wouldn't understand TCG.

"You mean childlike— oh whatever, that's not the point!" Alice whined. "I demand a rematch!"

"Denied. It's time you honor our deal."

She sighed. Alice slowly knocked her forehead on the table, deflating like a pathetic balloon.

"Fine… What do you want?" Alice pouted. "Is there anything in life you could want anyway?"

Yes.

Yes, there is.

There is something intangible that you wish to grasp for yourself but slips through your fingers.

You loosened up, your harsh stare replaced with a lazy smile.

Before uttering words like a prayer before the crusade.

"From here on out, I'll officially give up on both my title as a harbinger and my greatsword."

Victory was claimed. And maybe it was wishful thinking, but someday you hoped…

"Might as well replace it with a cane."

That this tragedy will be bested by another.

With what else, but Death itself?

Today is October 20th.

It's been a full year since you've taken this conventionally unappealing form. Conventional to Dottore's goals, at least.

"You must be Granny (Y/n)!" A floating fairy approached you, both hands on her back with a curious expression. "You asked the traveler to help you shop right?"

"That's right," you feigned a weak smile. "Would you all be cute little darlings and accompany a grandma for lunch?"

They both saw an elderly woman, covered in small bandages to hide the disgusting rot. You wore a humble peach blouson dress and sandals. Picture the perfect image of an old money retired widow squandering her resources for life's simple joys.

Hook, line, sinker.

"Of course! Leave it to the Traveler and Paimon to help you!" Paimon cheered, tugging Lumine, who smiled in response.

Lumine is a sweet little lady.

Not that she's young, mind you. The lass' lifespan can't be belittled. But just as you'd let her believe you're a grandmother, you'd wrongly treat her like a granddaughter. Conventional wisdom, as Dottore would say. And convenience doesn't mean right.

Watching Lumine's eyes, though dim, feign cheerfulness made you chuckle. You have to admire the girl; her mud-splattered legs and worn-out cape surely signify adventure. She reminds you of her brother. The prince had a knack for finding trouble, too— even though you'd argue Dainsleif is worse than him.

"So, what do you want to eat?"

You smiled and pulled out a ridiculously long list. "My pearl companions just couldn't stop raving about these delightful flavors ever since they got their dentures sorted, so of course, I simply had to try them myself!"

The rest of the conversation flowed smoothly, much to your chagrin. Being a conversationalist has its perks, but you seriously wish aiding Dottore was not one of them. You admitted you don't have enough knowledge to dispense good judgment on what to spend— and Paimon dominated the recommendations with food.

To be honest, sweets no longer excite you. You're used to war rations. Desserts as a pleasure are characteristically superficial in value.

But here you are, licking Natlan's rock candy desserts like a child…

"I was wary about trekking here in Natlan. I've never seen travelers who came from this nation— thought this was a fantasy land when I was a young lass!" You feigned worry. "I've only heard that they enjoy gladiator matches."

"Yeah, kinda!" Paimon spoke. "Paimon thinks they really like to grow strong. It might just be their love language!"

Is that right?… That reminds you of someone.

Someone with an imposingly tall figure and soft ocean gaze.

"The locals might have mythologized tough love as useful trauma." You hummed, amused. "Then again, their archon is a human, not the Tsaritsa. Natlan's ingrained belief to die and be reborn so patriotically is worthy of close inspection. Perhaps I assumed we shared the same values since those are what the nation I hailed from taught."

You rarely explore, so it's not in your best interest to push your own uninformed beliefs onto another's culture when yours also has its flaws. The masses will always be influenced by dogmatic forms of traditions. This is just Natlan's vibrant flavor.

Though Lumine teetered on musing about how Lady Furina is human herself, a witness must remain a witness. Not that Arlecchino didn't report about this months ago.

"Where are you from, Granny?"

You chuckled. "Where else but Snezhnaya, dear?"

"Ooooh that makes sense!" The fairy buzzed excitedly.

Not Snezhnaya. Khaenri'ah. But they don't need to know that yet.

Lumine stared at you. You're certain she's already figured out the truth. With those eyes of yours, you'll have to push that you're a 'descendant'. Only a matter of time before she'd act on her curiosity.

"Oh, how does it make sense, pray tell?" You closed your eyes as you sipped your soda. Too sweet for your aged tastes, but manageable.

"P-Paimon didn't mean anything bad by it!"

"Well, I wasn't assuming that you were going to say a bad thing about my homeland, Paimon. That is, unless, that's what your darling head was mulling over?" You teased.

You're no stranger to the two's estranged relationship with the Fatui. It's all Tartaglia ever talked about in letters addressed to you.

The flustered guide turned to Lumine frantically. "T-Traveler, a little help please!"

Before the traveler could come up with a lousy excuse, the souring dragons had snatched your attention swiftly. The rhythm of their flight made you stare up in awe—

And bittersweet nostalgia.

"Ruffie…" You muttered.

Lumine tilted her head curiously, which snapped you out of your trance.

"W-Where was I? Ah, yes." You cleared your throat. "Natlan's views are so needlessly breathtaking. Each generous ray is no different from the golden strokes of a weathered paintbrush. Even with my poor eyesight, I can still spot the river below us, glittering like powdered azure. The nation moves and rests at once."

You sighed, feigning your happiness enough that it became the truth. "Fascinating, is it not?"

"Huh, Paimon didn't know you can be so poetic."

"One can be poetic when they describe something worth seeing. Though I wouldn't dare say it beats my homeland when I know Snezhnaya is my home." You forced a smile.

"Only a fool would swiftly divorce knowledge; you'd do well to remember that, young ones."

'You are mine in this life, and if there is another life beyond Teyvat, then you are mine in there as well.'

'Yours? Is this yet another vow of loyalty? You shouldn't utter such words carelessly, lest you'll be misunderstood. Do not chain yourself to these ruined bones.'

'… I'm afraid you are the one who misunderstands.'

'Either way, you must learn not to sacrifice so much. A bleeding heart like yours must steel his resolve to be a true Captain.'

Capitano will never forget those bold words he uttered directly in your stunned face one passionate evening. He remembers, now fondly, how hard his grip on his sword was and how white his knuckles were. You, three years ago, stood as the 11th to the 1st— yet the distance in your strength was far from outmatched. Divided only by a mere fraction.

Yet here he was, back on the scenic cliff where you and he had that conversation. Admittedly, that exchange would not have happened if the locals hadn't lent liquid courage. He'd long forgotten what the collaboration mission was, but he'd be damned if he forgot the celebration. When his expedition team grew rowdy with their shenanigans, Capitano groggily asked you to accompany him for a walk. Since you kept mostly to yourself at the time, you gladly took his hand and saw unfitting yourself out of the lively scene.

Today is October 20th.

What a day to reminisce.

Just by standing here on Tetipac Peak, he could almost hear what was from five years past. Sense it, even. Once, you brushed strands of his hair out of his eyes and gazed softly. It was as if it was only you and him- the village and his men nearby ceased existing. Just you, him, and Natlan's gorgeous views.

That simple gesture alone fattened the greedy beast inside him. One that would hastily discard morality for a mere taste.

That simple gesture alone repurposed the prison in his mind into a sanctuary.

'Gorgeous.'

'G… Gorgeous? With this tiring visage?'

That was the first and last time someone called him that.

'You've no idea how much that makes you even more enchanting. Hmm, hmm. You have beautiful blue eyes, Captain. A gaze that pierces through one's soul is a powerful asset. If I were born in your body, I'd certainly elevate my status in one way or another.'

'… A face as scarred as mine? An asset?'

'I adore your scars. Those are marks that tell a hundred tales. I'm jealous of your men who all have the privilege of seeing that face every day.'

'… Then perhaps this is a face I'd only let you see.'

'Haha! And then what? Do you intend to wear a mask or helmet often?'

'... Perhaps. I'm aware that I'm beyond repair—'

"Lord Capitano."

He blinked, turning around. Capitano shouldn't have daydreamed so deeply. It's been a while since he had failed to sense another's presence. One of his people knelt before him, despite her cool demeanor, a good captain could tell that matters plagued her mind.

"Elena. Is there something to report?"

It is far from uncommon for Elena to appear when Capitano is in his lonesome. He has specifically instructed the fatuus for this discreet duty. A trained eye may be misguided in speculating the nature of Elena's loyalty— but the truth is there's nothing beyond the usual master and servant. If masters normally instruct their servants to spy on the object of their desire, that is.

"Yes, sir," Elena spoke. "Granny (Y/– Lady Ruffiana has departed to the restaurant at the People Of The Springs, sir. She is with company."

He hummed. Before, Elena would much rather work on paperwork taller than her stature than assist a grandmother's spine. However, as his blue eyes assessed her sharply, the lines on her forehead tallied more genuine concern than before.

…

"Come… Come again?"

"She has decided to hire someone from the Adventurer's Guild to accompany her to lunch, Lord Capitano."

…

Capitano, ranked first of the Fatui Harbingers, was rendered mute.

Maybe he didn't hear that right.

"A restaurant in the People of the Springs? I believe I have heard about it... Golden Dusk, yes?" Capitano looked away.

...

"Is there something on your mind, my Lord?"

"Golden Dusk... is that not a… place for young adults to court? As a lunch... date... of sorts?" He tensed up slightly. "Why would she? And with who, Elena? I believe you are wise enough to investigate their name."

Elena blinked.

The word date in this context sounds foreign when born out of the strapping Captain's battle-weary lips. Futile as it was, she bit her tongue and made certain no comment about how weak he came across. Worse, he was completely unaware of this. Just replaying the dry despairing sound in her head felt wicked.

Besides, a date is what he first thought of? This is (Y/n) they're talking about. She could just be sizing someone up.

How whipped is he? It's a famous tourist destination. Elena swears it's as if everyone but Capitano knows that his affections for (Y/n) have been broadcast to Teyvat several times. The art of subtlety is lost to him.

… It shouldn't surprise her. Capitano is also rotting, so much worse than your case.

Capitano isn't your knight in shining armor.

He feels his bones erode, mixing with his blood like a sickening fruit juice. The vile dark and metallic liquid that frequently visits his tastebuds reminds him how little time he has.

Capitano's obsession over you is no doubt a public spectacle.

Maybe to him, he's just a loser in a tin foil.

And yet, Elena knows that no matter how much his eyes dim, those piercing blue stares still reflect your visage. Ex-eleventh to everyone but reigns as one in his heart. It's cheesy, it's cliché, it's sickeningly sweet- it's Capitano, a man desperately in love.

Elena was wrong about one thing, though. Capitano suspects you know about his feelings.

She very kindly answered. "She's with the traveler, my Lord. Ruffiana had told us that should you ask, the money you had lent her last night was for commissioning Miss Lumine."

Quickly, the tension disappeared from his shoulders. He pinched his temple. Ah, of course. Befriending Persons of Interests has always been La Ruffiana's modus operandi—

He stilled, eyebrows furrowed.

As much as Capitano loathes to acknowledge this, you are no longer a Fatui Harbinger and therefore have been stripped of that duty.

"...What for?"

Truth be told, he's unsure if he wants the answer. Receiving the straightforward assumption might be akin to seeking his ruin.

Elena looked at him with a face that asked why he was troubled by this. He shot a furtive glance over Elena's shoulder. That shy motion confirmed her suspicion.

Here he goes again. For a split second, Elena hoped his curiosity stemmed from a work-related issue rather than whatever this was.

"... To… spend time with her, sir. That's what she said when Felix asked."

Elena didn't know either; she was running on vague inferences. Before you left, you said you wished to get to know the traveler more. You've even asked Capitano's informant, Ashe, for her preferences, attitude, what she would like to eat, and more…

Shit.

In a sense, it does sound disastrously like a date, doesn't it…

"Elena."

"Yes, Lord Harbinger?"

"Move my plans for a later date, report to the Archon that I have another urgent matter at hand."

"P-Pardon?!" Elena's eyes widened. Is he serious?!

She then saw that glint in his eyes. Though only for a brief moment and an inopportune angle— there was a melancholic and faraway stare from the man who towered over her. He had his lips pursed, distraught like an abandoned puppy.

Grieving for a woman who never wanted him.

'You're the bane of my duties. But without you, my purpose seemingly lacks meaning. You make me whole, (Y/n).'

'Haha, I'm your bane huh? Drunken words sure let out sobering confessions.'

'… Is that crude joke all you've concluded from my loving words?'

'What's that?'

'… It is nothing. Forget that I have wasted a smattering of your time.'

Elena cast her gaze downwards. Better not speak of it out loud.

"Of course. Would you like assistance in—"

"Yes, please, if you would." Capitano cleared his throat. "I assume you know what to do. Let us make haste."

"Understood, Captain."

Taglist: @macaronilovingracoon, @lucienbarkbark, @meimeimeirin, @notthefib987, @meowmeowakutagawa,

@peachymonkgeh, @definitely-asexual-volcano, @brainemptynothoughts, @aenishas, @kapitankarate,

@goldenglow149, @ionkknowhattonamethis, @futuristicprincesscrown, @average-scara-fan, @sleeplessskeleton,

@pix-stuff

A/n: i had to put the author's note at the very bottom because man, once this fic is complete yall will notice how much foreshadowing have already been sprinkled since chap 1 to 3 HAHAHAH-//shot

I had to cut a few more dialogue between Lumine and (Y/n) to the next chapter since it's exceeding the average word count I set up. anyways sneak peak

hehe okay now i'll adios again, I still have to code WhoDrankIt (HSR otome game) :'))

[blorger]

10/10 contribution friend, the Dobby Dilemma totally adds a new dimension to the whole conundrum.

As for the Lucius thing, Dumbledore is often shown to be downright wrong about the inner workings of the Death Eaters (and pureblood stuff in general, like the Black family succession rules), which is honestly quite baffling since his inside source is right at the top of the org.

I honestly think it's a bit of a fumble of jkr's part because she wants to have her cake and eat it too: in the first books especially, she wants us to think that Lucius is a Big Bad, an all powerful enemy with ties to the government, the school and all things magical but when push came to shove and she escalated the stakes in the books (basically from OotP onwards) he's not one of the villains she chose to be an actual Big Bad, she introduced more dangerous characters like Bellatrix and Greyback instead.

In this new re-imagining of the Death Eaters, a Lucius at the very top of the food chain doesn't make much sense: he's not a true believer like Bellatrix and Barty and he's not a bloodthirsty maniac like Greyback; Lucius is, by design, someone who operates from behind the scenes, someone who, like a wise man once said, doesn't want real power, just money and the illusion of power (because with real power comes real responsibility). Lucius is shown time and time again to act only out of pettiness and his own interest, which means he doesn't really work as Voldemort's n2 (which is how Dumbledore refers to him in more than one instance).

I think that when jkr makes Dumbledore give his big wrap-up speech at the end of CoS, she's tidying up any loose ends and making Lucius out to big the Big Bad simplifies the narrative. Why did this extremely convoluted chain of events happen? because the evil guy was up to no good, case closed.

The Dobby thing, on the other hand, is just sloppy writing in my opinion. jkr has this tendency to use her secondary characters in a rather exploitative fashion, basically she changes them to fit the purpose of the situation they're in. In book 2 Dobby needs to know of and like Harry before he even meets him so she sets him up to be a beacon of hope for an underground Elf resistance movement fighting against their oppression. After CoS, this supposed elf resistance is never mentioned again and elves are re-imagined to love their own enslavement in a Stockholm Syndrome type of way in order to give Hermione a side plot with S.P.E.W.

Basically, Dobby is there to be a helpful (but not TOO helpful, so he can't be too smart) character who helps the plot along. What is Harry's conflict now that he's back at the Dursleys and they're intimidated by him? Let's have Dobby artificially create one. How do we set up this book's main mission? Dobby has heard vague things.

In my heart of hearts Dobby heard Draco complaining endlessly to Lucius about Harry during summer vacation (and Lucius's irritated responses), conflated that with the various Ministry raids on the Manor (and the Malfoys' reaction to them) and decided that they were plotting to harm Harry. I like the story much more if it's driven by a bunch of people who don't know what they're doing stumbling their way to success.

Look, listen, this is a very important question for the culture: why does the hp fandom at large like to act like Lucius Malfoy meant to open the chamber of secrets?

Book 2 Lucius Malfoy was clearly in his live laugh love era, the Great Diary Reshuffle of 92 was very much an improv moment, a petty action to mess with a Weasley and get rid of a cursed artifact at the same time, I'm sure he went home feeling real proud of his innovative problem-solving.

Even when Draco recounts the letter from his father, all we get from Lucius is basically "sit tight and watch", not exactly the words of someone invested in the outcome.

I'm very much in the "the diary was left to Abraxas Malfoy and Lucius had no idea what it really was" camp, tho that is just a personal spice I like to add to the books, am unsure of jkr's actual intentions (if she even thought it through to that extent)

[myechoecho]

When the Phone Rings, ep4

Well I guess I was wrong about Sa Eon knowing she can speak. I didn't have any strong feeling about that anyway. He was definitely shocked when he heard her cry and when he saw the police video of her speaking. I don't know what he thinks about that yet, but as for Hee Joo her trauma is deep set. She can only speak when she's alone or with her dad. It was pure rage and betrayal with the kidnapper and honestly she was more talking to herself. The panic attack is bad enough to get her to speak. The phone has been the buffer she needed to actually talk to Sa Eon. The phone has allowed them to be brutally honest with one another.

Sa Eon immediately took care of her father, whom he didn't even know about, moved him to a better nursing home and personally got him settled. Showed her father respect and care, put socks on him and told him that he will personally protect the two of them even though her father is unlikely to understand.

We get to see a flashback of when they met as children. Their mothers were both awful to them in different ways and the two of them were outcasts. I will say that I thought the line "when did you grow up so much" was flat out weird since they are only 2-3 years apart in age.

I loved the interview. I've seen some comments about how Sa Eon is toxic etc but Hee Joo is also kinda a freak. Girl has been obsessively studying his press conferences to the to the point she's not only memorized them all but can actively predict what consonants he will say based on the sounds his tongue makes hits the roof of his mouth (what in the bionic hearing is that??!!). Now Sa Eon knows she's not oblivious to him and thinks this obsession is hot and will obsess on it himself.

I adore the speech he had her interpret that specifically coded for them. That speech laid him bare and I also love how everything else falls away and it's only them. So far that has only happened when they are speaking as 406 and Sa Eon. The other people in the room must have been baffled.

Hee Joo finally gets the opportunity to tell him that he should learn sign language so they can communicate properly. I still don't know why he hasn't but the promo shows that he will learn.

Another thing I was wrong about was Hee Joo being on the other end of the text messages arranging the bride swap. I am now thoroughly confused about the sister. Hee Joo only has the one sister, unless I've completely missed something. Her mother said the Chairman's bio daughter was deaf. I even went back and checked. Sa Eon's father would have definitely thought that being deaf was a flaw so I don't know why he'd want her over the "flawed" Hee Joo. Is In A more nefarious than I thought? I am SO curious about her and how she ties into all of this.

I love how Sa Eon protected Hee Joo from the thrown glass and then put her behind him while his father raged. He kept firm hold of her hand in the elevator, while telling her not to pay them any attention. The comment that "they are the type of people who can easily replace their children" gave me pause though. It makes me wonder if Sa Eon had a sibling who did something and he was forced to be the replacement, similar to Hee Joo.

This show is so good it has two reveals at the end. First we get Hee Joo telling Sa Eon her deepest insecurities. Sa Eon staunchly defends her. He may not know her well, but he does know her. "She's not just supplementary pagers, she's a brand new language" made squeal. Sa Eon finds her on the roof on the phone. We get a flashback and find out that Hee Joo yelled at the police to get them to stop. They told this to Sa Eon, and he gets the video of it. It will take him some time to process it, but I am guessing he knows her mother has something to do with it.

Judging from the promo, Hee Joo will still be mute. But that will start to change. Are they on their way to becoming a power couple that will take down their parents and the kidnappers? Please yes.

[spiderb00]

Care and love - Manon Bannerman

Manon Bannerman X Reader  Synopsis - Your girlfriend had the most stressful day of all, the least you could do was treat her like a princess.  Genre – Fluff  a/n - honestly, I found it all so cute, I want a Manon for me :( (request)

Manon had had one of the most stressful days of her life, all she wanted was to get home and rest. As soon as Manon woke up, she saw that her day was going to be bad, she spilled coffee on her new shirt, was late for her appointment, and couldn't keep up with the girls' rhythm in the new choreography they were rehearsing. Manon was quickly frustrated, wishing that this day would end as soon as possible.  

It was only when she saw a message from you coming that she seemed to let out a breath of air that she didn't even know it held. Your message was simple, nothing out of the ordinary, just a "Hello my love, how is your day going?", that was enough for Manon to want to cry right there. 

Composing herself, the girl sent an objective message, she was too tired to type anything at that moment. So, knowing your girlfriend well, you knew something was wrong when she just replied with "I'll be at 10."  

When Manon opened the door to your apartment, with the copy of the key you had given her, you were in the kitchen, finishing dinner. Manon walked to where you were quickly, wrapping her arms around your waist and resting her head on your shoulder blades. The girl stayed there for a long time, the two of you silent, just enjoying each other's warmth.   

"Hard day?" You asked, finally turning around and facing the shorter girl, Manon's hands still on your hips.   

"You can't even imagine. I kind of wanted to cry..." She says, as she passes her hands relaxedly up and down your skin.   

"Do you still want it?" You asked, of course if she wanted you would be her shoulder, where she could leave all the frustrations of that day.   

"Actually, I just want to take a shower, and be close to you." Manon says, intertwining her hands with yours.   

"Alright, I see, I've got you darling." You said, pulling away slightly, making Manon curious.   

Returning minutes later, you directed the girl to your bathroom, where she saw everything you had prepared for her. The bathtub was full, there were bath salts and lots of foam, scented candles were mirrored everywhere illuminating the bathroom, and music played softly over the speakers.   

 Again, Manon felt like crying, but not the one she had felt all day, no, this was more like a cry of joy, she was very excited to have a person who cared so much about her to do such a thing.   

"Oh my love, you didn't have to do that." She said, tears in her eyes as she stood facing you, standing on tiptoe and pulling you in for a light kiss.   

"I wanted to, besides, you deserve this, you're exhausted." You said as you guided her to take off her clothes.   

"Can you do just one more thing for me?" Manon asked unsurely.  

"Whatever you want my love." You say, looking at her with a smile that Manon found comforting.   

"Can you help me take the braids off? They're really starting to bother me now." She said, getting into the tub, you follow right behind.   

"Anything for you." You said, positioning yourself behind Manon.  

Now, Manon had her back pressed against your front, her braids slowly being delicately undone by you. Your hands seemed so soft that the girl swore she could sleep there, that moment seemed like calm in the middle of all the chaos she experienced earlier.   

When all her braids had been undone, you slowly got up from the tub, between kisses and caresses, you both put on your pajamas and soon after you were having dinner in front of the television, where Manon's favorite program was on.   

After you've washed all the dinner dishes, you and Manon immediately headed towards the bedroom, where the curly girl lay comfortably on your chest.   

"Thank you." Manon said softly.   

"You don't have to thank me, I love you, I'll do it as many times as you need." You said, kissing her forehead and pulling her to snuggle closer.  

A few minutes later, all you could hear was your girlfriend's soft breathing, and it was there, listening to her relaxed, that you fell asleep. 

hihi, here I am after my relatives left

[inheritedbelly]

The Weight of a New Life

"Raine… Raine," I said, my voice sounding much deeper, but I assumed it was just because I was still sleepy. "For God's sake, turn to your side! You're snoring so loud, like a tractor! Raine?" I reached out, expecting to find my girlfriend's slender shoulder, but instead, I touched a sweaty, hairy, and broad shoulder. I widened my eyes in shock. Between me and her, the first thing I noticed was a huge, rigid belly. No, a mountain of belly!

"Raine?! What the hell is this?!" I tried to jump up—or at least I attempted to—but my body felt like it weighed a ton. I collapsed back onto the bed, my round belly resting heavily on my legs. My skin looked aged, and my arms were covered in gray hair. As I turned to my side, a body rolled over—it was a man, just as old and big as I was. My mind raced: "Raine?!" It had to be her. The transformation must have happened to both of us. "Raine!" I yelled, my voice hoarse and deep. "We… we’re old men!"

She blinked, still confused, and brought her hands to her face. As soon as she felt the rough beard with her fingers, she quickly pulled her large, calloused hand away. Her tongue brushed against the thick mustache now sitting above her lips. "No!! Nooooo!!!"

She turned to the side, saw my new form, and froze in shock. Horrified, she rolled out of bed, standing up with her hands pressed against the enormous, hairy belly now hanging from her frame.

"What happened to us?!"

I wanted to run to her, to comfort her, but the moment I tried to get up, I realized it was going to be a battle. My legs felt like tree trunks, my back ached as if I’d carried a truck, and the heavy, drooping belly had completely shifted my center of gravity. "We’re… our neighbors?"

That’s when we realized that, somehow, we had become the old neighbors who owned the flower shop in the building. Later, we found a letter explaining everything. They had stolen our bodies and taken over our lives! They ran away before we woke up and told no one in the building where they had gone...

The following weeks were a nightmare. Raine, once a beautiful and refined girl, was now a man named Mario (according to the documents we found) and went into a crisis."Tomas, I look horrible! Look at this, I have a penis, and I can’t even see it because of this huge belly!"

"Welcome to my world, darling! We’re in the same boat," I grumbled. "My name is Alfredo now, apparently, and I have a belly so big it looks like it could swallow a horse whole."

I had to teach things that, honestly, I never thought I’d have to explain to Raine, like how to shave (she cut her face about twenty times) or how to pee like a man. Although, given the way we were now, we could only pee sitting down.

"This is disgusting, Tomas," she yelled as I tried to explain how to clean herself in the shower.

On my end, I was suffering too. Climbing the stairs in this building without an elevator was a challenge. And bending down to pick something off the floor felt like trying to fold a refrigerator. The worst part was showering; my belly was so big I had to lift it just to reach certain parts.

"Can you see your feet? Or have you accepted you’ll never tie your shoes again?" I asked Raine, trying to be funny.

After a few months, we gave up hoping the two would return and undo the swap. But honestly, what sense would it make? Giving up a young life to come back to this heavy one… "So, this is it," Raine said one night while we sat on the couch, shirtless, with her lying on top of me. "You’re not going to leave me? Even now that I’m a hairy, fat man?"

I looked at her — or rather, at him, at Mario. Her eyes, even in a wrinkled and chubby face, were still the eyes of the Raine I loved. I sighed, stroking her belly (she loved that now) "I never wanted to leave you. I still love you, Raine… or should I say Mario! I love you, and honestly, I still find you attractive, even as a 60-year-old man, haha."

She smiled and got up. We tried to kiss, but our bellies collided — it was like a natural airbag.

"I still need to get used to this part," she said, laughing.

"Yeah, I guess we’ll have to adjust. But honestly, it’s not that bad. The two of us, eating whatever we want, not working too hard, living a quiet life," I replied as she — or rather, he — leaned in to kiss me, successfully this time.

[xjulixred45x]

I'm trying to be active again and i though: "what could be a better way of coming Back from the Dead than a critique to the soap opera that has become Helluva Boss?"

So here we are. My personal Critique to the episodes Ghost Fuckers and Mastermind.

I'll be honest, i saw both of them in one sit bc i delay seeing Ghost Fuckers SO MUCH that IN THAT TIME Mastermind come out, then i realized i could't keep doing that and accept my fate(seeing the episodes when i was doing nothing importart and Home alone).

AND GOOOOOOOD-

First of all, Ghost Fuckers.

The first half, absolutly GROSS and incredible out of character for many characters.

I liked Millie A LOT in this Episode bc she represented how i was feeling trough this first half, CONFUSED AS HELL AND MAD AT THE BAD DIRECTION OF THE BOSS(vivziepop).

I get it, we are suposse to see this reaction of Blitz as natural and that affect him a Lot, BUT:1-that wasn't Even a BREAKUP(i'll talk of it later) and 2- it's super out of character for BLITZ OF ALL PEOPLE.

if You tell me that Stolas is neglecting His duties after what happen, yeah, i can believe that, BUT BLITZ? The one who all motivación trough the seasons was to keep His business AND employees aflot is not only neglecting His job BUT ALSO USING THE MONEY OF SAID JOB (THAT HE HIMSELF SAID WAS IN CONSTANT RISK OF BANKKRUP) FOR IMPULSIVE PURCHASES???

What the actual Hell.

Even Loona just allowing this and doing what Blitz told her to do feels strange, that's HER PAY TOO, and she just dosen't care or dosen't understand what is happening??

Moxxie is My spiritual animal when i was doing Homework from Collage. The only joke that i find funny in this Episode. Believe me kids, there's nothing more scary than BANKKRUPSY.

Also, seeing that most of our own knolege from Hell is based on Blitz since the Start, it's feels so strange and incrongruent that he still insist on the Ghost theme. Specially when he likes to make fun of humans for those kind of things.

The whole secuence of Spooky Kind of Love just have me...there.

And we got to the second half! Where i have more problems Even though is the Best party of the episode.

Millie blows up and tells Blitz what we all want to Say, he gets offended for no reason, they get diferent ways, Blitz starts allucinate bc of the infester demon, making Even more OBVIOUS His insecurities. Again. For i don't know how many times.

Millie finds him and she tries to make him see that he dosen't destroy everything by remembering how they meet. It was actually a pretty cool scene. We Even get to see more of Millie when she first got out of Wrath, her insecurities, how she was at the job, when they get the IMP Bulding, etc.

Half a point for the develomp to Millie(TWO SEASONS LATE).

they find the demon and he posses(?) Blitz for some reason, and meanwhile Possesed Blitz tries to kill Millie, Blitz has to revive His traumas AGAIN. For GOD sake just leave him alone FOR FIVE MINUTES--

Millie kick His ass, they kill the demon, finished the job, the end.

This is the Best example of the Main problem of Helluva: His Tone problem.

The first half and the shorts, for example, are the characteristic humor of Helluva we are used to, that the people want to see, and just a little bit of lore. And that works ALONE, it's funny, it's dynamyc.

BUT THEN they spit lots and lots of Lore in our faces, Mysteries, Flashbacks, Angst, comfort, ALL IN THE OTHER HALF, and it's TOO MUCH.

Those halfs work on their own, but not togheter. That's the Main problem. And Vivziepop dosen't decide which one want to prevail.

NOW, MASTERMIND

Which of MASTERMIND only has the title

WHY ANDREALPHUS KEEP SAYING THAT HIS SISTER IS HOT?!? SPECIALLY IN A CONTEXT LIKE THAT???!

Stella could have been waaayyy more better for this Episode than him honestly, maybe hiding the fact that Stolas was doing something ilegal SO she can personally report him and make a case as she as the poor Woman who was cheated on(which is not a lie-) and have all the assets of Stolas for HERSELF.

THAT COULD HAVE BEEN MORE INTERESTING THAN THE GAY PEACKOWT. But WELL.

The dementors from Harry Potter go to arrest IMP, and they have a trial where Andre says that "Blitzo force himself on Stolas to take possesion of the book" which was funny for me bc is sounded just like the Stolas Stans🤣

They got Striker! He's fine! But he lies saying that Blitz is the one who wanted Stolas Dead(which is another thing that bothers me, WHY WOULD STRIKER HELP THE GOETIA WITH HOW MUCH HE SAYS TO HATE THEM??) and Blitz tries to defend himself saying that if he wanted Stolas Dead he could do it HIMSELF(good point thoug)

Blitz is sentenced to DEATH and is LIVE STREAMED IN ALL RINGS OF HELL AS A LESSON OF NOT GOING AGAINST THE LAWS OF SATAN.

But then Stolas appear and instead of explaning himself like a normal fucking person he starts to sing. I didn't listen to the Song, to much Cringe in one sit. But Stolas take all of Blitz Blame.

BUT OF COURSE SATAN WOULD'T EXCECUTE A ROYAL BC AND I QUOTE "YOUR LIFE HAS ACTUAL VALUE" ARE TOU FUCKING KIDDING ME--

Instead they take away His assets and legions and passed them to... Andre (which is weird, wasn't supposed to be Via? Andre Say it HIMSELF in a previous Ep. But WELL, i'm searching for LOGIC in this show-) and Stolas has to live like a normal Hell citizen for 100 years.

Bascically just turn him into a normal person.

The good side is that the imps start admiring and hiring IMP services more, Even seeing Blitz as a hero for standing to Satán(and honestly good for him).

Stolas dosen't have anywhere to live anymore so Blitz takes pity and they go to His place, he Even bathes him and gives him clothes.

THIS FACE

Brings me so mucho JOY.

and the fact that Blitz it's giving him SPACE, GIVING HIM A PLACE TO STAY, AND COMFORT AND HIS WORST MOMENT, KNOWING THAT STOLAS WOULD'T DO THE SAME FOR BLITZ(bc he NEVER has done it as far as we are in the series), ITS JUST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHG-

I'll pretend the episode ends here, thank You very much.

CONCLUSION:

Episode 10 just make Even more visible the HUGE tone problem with the series, Vivzie dosen't Even know what she want in the series, if it is a comedy or a melodrama. And it end up wasting great opportunities to develomp her characters in each case.

Not only that, but that the torment to Blitz has to STOP, SERIOUSLY, the writers love to make him SUFFER but at the same time we don't confirm ANYTHING, it's a stupid attempt to generate "intrige" and to extend this series Even more. At the price of it's own protagonist.

3/10

Episode 11 feels like Fanservice with a Lot of unnecesary drama. And convenience of the script.

WHY are there the other sins?? Why nobody besides Vasago asked about Stolas or quesrioned Andre?? How could't Stolas Know about the whole trial things before?? WHY THEY ARE SINGING??

And of COURSE, the lesson of the day with this Episode is that if You are power class and Disobay, You get EXCECUTED, but if youre a Royal, You just have to pay taxes now. Fucking. GENIUS. VIVZIEPOP.

5/10( only for Stella and the Scenes with IMP)

Overall, just a soap opera i would recomend if You turn off Your brain.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

[vickytaa]

I can't escape the way I love you. C.S.

based on "I love you" by Billie Eilish

_______________________________________

Chris and y/n have been dating for a couple of months, but they never made it official, and that didn't use to bother either of them. Well.. only at first.

She knew from the beginning that Chris wasn't into relationships and that he was a player, but she didn't listen at all. She was blinded by love.

They went on dates, talked for hours, gave each other's little details like love notes, and obviously made out, they even held each other's hand on public, just like a couple.

And it was great for both of them. They loved spending time together. Until her parents and friends started to ask when they would make it real; I mean, it was real, everything between the two of them, the love, the teasing, the joy... but they weren't actually dating. They weren't a couple. They were just... people who do things like a couple but aren't?

It was complicated. She was really into him, and he was too, but he was scared of commitment and everything that comes with being in a relationship.

On the other hand, she was looking forward to it. She has done everything to become his. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough. Honestly, it was tiring; trying so hard to get something that you know is not possible over and over again, failing repeatedly.

And when she tried to talk about it with Chris, he would just brush her off and leave, or sometimes he would try to explain why he was so scared, but he'd get frustrated and yell at her. Most of the times she would end up crying alone while he silently leaves.

Last night, they were cuddling and watching a movie when this thought passed through her mind. She knew it wasn't going to end well, but everything was hurting her so much.

"Chris..." She said, looking up to meet Chris's gaze. "Yes, sweetheart?" He knew what was about to happen. The fight, the cries, the silence, the yells. "I... I can't take this anymore." She says, adjusting herself so now she's sitting right in front of him.

They were face to face, each other's gaze interlocked. The tension in the air grew heavier. The look in her eyes was full of pain, filled with unspoken hurtful things.

"I- we..." She took a deep breath and continued speaking, "This is not good for me. I know your fears, but this is killing me. I- I don't want this anymore." She says, tears rolling down her cheeks non-stop. Chris looks down to his lap, breaking the eye contact.

"But... I want to be with you," He said. She was a bit surprised by his response. "Me too, Chris. But not... not this way. I'm sorry." She said, getting up from the bed and starting to grab her things. "If you want to be with me then, alright, I'm here, tell me you love me." She said, her voice cracked.

It hurts. It really hurts to see her crying, wanting to hug her and tell her everything is going to be alright, but it wasn't. He has talked about his feelings with her and his brother to see what he could do to fear them, but when he was able to do it, he would regret and leave.

He remains silent. He didn't want her to leave, but he also didn't want to fight his fears yet. Her chest tightens with his silent answer. She looks at Chris, wanting to believe this wasn't real and everything is fine. She was devastated and knew she had to end up things with Chris, so she did it.

She left

Today, y/n and her friends were talking at lunch about today's party at Freddy's. Everyone was going, there'll be tons of alcohol and probably drugs. Which sounded perfect for Y/n. She was super excited. Suuuuper.

"You have to go. Everyone's going, " Anna said, giving her sandwich a big bite. "No thanks, it is not my thing," Y/n said. She knew Chris was going to be there. Her friends insisted on her until she accepted. (She was forced).

The day went on, and the only thing that remained in her mind was Chris.

A love fading slowly, torn at the heart. The words drowning in a sea of doubts without being able to come to the surface. Her eyes, mirrors of a weary soul. His eyes reflect the fear that separated them.

She feels trapped in a maze with no way back. Only memories of the two of them remain, like decay. Tangled in shadows, hearts torn apart.

Love is a cruel game that makes us suffer and climb.

She wasn't the type that let's anyone see right through. But with Chris... He saw her. Really saw her. He even saw that she only wanted to hear those 3 words from him.

3 words, 8 letters.

And that was it. No more doubts, arguments, crying, anger, no more nothing. And yet, he didn't say it.

7:32 pm.

She decided she had to go clear her mind and maybe laugh a bit with her friends. It's been a while since she last laughed.

She got dressed, but her thoughts kept circling back to the same place. She tried to convince herself that she didn't love him anymore, but what a lie that was. He was everything to her, her first love. But why does love hurt so much? Maybe they were right when they said that broken people break others.

She drove to the party, got out of the car and stood there, frozen in front of the door. She took a deep breath and finally went inside. She quickly found her friends and they started to enjoy the night.

About an hour had passed since she arrived. Now the music was a bit slower, so she decided to take a break. She leaned against the kitchen counter, looking around, trying to find a familiar face.

Her gaze found him. A girl sat on his lap. Hands all over her body. She felt fire running through her veins. And all of a sudden, his eyes, once two stars that only shone for her, were now fixed on another. A kiss, soft as rose petals, stolen, insignificantly. The world stood still, spinning around that image that pierced her like an arrow.

She had built castles in the air with her love, dreaming of shared laughter and knowing glances. But now, those castles were crumbling, leaving behind a sea of sadness. Every brick of illusion, every window of hope, turned into a fragment of a broken heart.

As their lips separated, the blue eyes landed on her. Even with the music blaring, her heart's rhythm slowed to a mournful beat. A shroud of betrayal and deceit cast a shadow over her soul.

Her chest tightened, growing heavier with each passing moment. Today, a love once vibrant was shattered. Her mind raced, a whirlwind of thoughts, questions, and uncertainties.

A lump formed in her throat, and it felt like she was drowning in the silence that surrounded her. All those around her seemed to fade into the background.

Her body was failing her. The suffocating grip of anxiety and despair urged her to flee that place. With dwindling strength, she stumbled toward the exit. Tears that had once sparkled with joy were now a torrent of agony, sorrow, and resentment.

Yet, she couldn't bring herself to blame him; she knew her love was unrequited. Her anger turned inward, a bitter indictment of her own capacity for such profound affection.

Chris unceremoniously pushed the girl away and chased after Y/n. A whirlwind of emotions swirled within him, but all that truly mattered was her. He'd never intended to become this person, yet he found himself trapped in this role. As they stood outside, gasping for air, their hearts felt like shattered glass, slowly piecing themselves back together.

He tried to grasp her delicate wrist, but she retreated. "No," Y/n whispered, her voice barely a breath. Her heart, once vibrant, was now a flickering ember. The haunting scenes played on repeat in her mind.

This is why Chris can't say 'I love you'; it's because he doesn't truly mean it.

"I... I'm sorry. I truly want to change, but..." Chris began, but Y/n's voice cut through his words, "No, Chris! You don't understand! There's nothing you can do to change-" Her voice trembled. The music faded into the background, replaced by the symphony of their broken hearts.

"I can't escape the way I love you! And... and... I don't want to..." Y/n continued, her tears a relentless downpour. The boy's heart, hanging by a thread, was slowly being severed. "But I love you... and it's killing me"

She turned around and started walking home with her head bowed, feeling as if the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. The dry leaves crunched beneath her feet, mimicking the sound of her broken heart. Every step was a pang in her soul, a reminder of what she had lost.

Night enveloped her in a cloak of darkness, the same as she felt inside. The stars, once so bright and close, now seemed distant and cold. She wondered if she would ever feel the warmth of his love again.

_______________________________________

[winchesterwild78]

Twinkle Lights

Master List

Characters: Reader x Male companion

Warnings: Cheating, (I don’t condone it, but let’s be honest it does happen), forbidden love, angst, language, masturbation, light smut.

A/N: Just a quick story that came to me. Honestly the male companion could be anyone. When I wrote it I thought about Jensen, and some of his characters he plays. I didn’t want to name the male, I wanted you, the reader, to decide who he was. Happy reading. 

*This one got a little long…sorry not sorry.*

Word Count: 5890

All work is my own, don’t take it or copy it. Reblogs, likes, and feedback are always welcomed.

Minors DNI 18+

Reader’s POV: 

It was a chilly December morning, so the warm liquid of the latte I drank warmed me up. I sat at the small table in the back of the coffee shop waiting for the man who answered my ad. I had recently gotten engaged and I wanted to reach out to my father to let him know. The only problem was, I didn’t know who he was, well not really. 

My mother and him weren’t married when she got pregnant with me. I had pictures and some things to go on, but not much. My sister encouraged me to put out an ad to see if anyone could help me locate him. My fiance, Aaron, was less than thrilled.

“I don’t understand why this is so important to you that you have to put the wedding on hold to find a man who abandoned you before you were born.”  I sighed, “He didn’t abandon me, mom and him broke up before she knew she was pregnant. He was gone by the time she found out and she couldn’t find him. I need him to know I exist. I have to know if he wants to be in my life. Before we move on to our next chapter I have to complete that one.” Aaron sighed, “Well you know how I feel about this.” I sat in stunned silence, “I know, but this is something I have to do.”

I received an email reply to my ad a few days ago. The man said he had information that might help locate my father. So we agreed to meet at this coffee shop. 

I sat drinking my latte as my mind raced with thoughts and nerves. The sound of the bell above the door pulled me from my thoughts. In walked a tall, incredibly handsome man. His hair slightly longer, but perfectly styled, his beard trimmed and outlined his strong jawline. His eyes a beautiful shade of green and his eyelashes long and brushed against his cheeks when he blinked. His shoulders were broad which made his shirt stretch slightly across his chest, revealing a perfectly toned body. I bit my lip and my breath caught in my throat. This man was sex on two bowed legs.

I made eye contact with him and held my breath. Oh god, please don’t let this be who I’m meeting today. 

He continued to walk over to me. “Y/N?” “Yes, hi. Thank you for meeting me today. Please have a seat.”

He sat across from me and we talked about what I knew about my dad. I showed him the pictures and he shared what he knew about him. 

“So this is Michael Baker. He worked with my father for about 15 years. He was like an uncle to me. We’ve kept in touch over the years. His wife just recently passed away, he has two children, a boy, Jacob and a girl, Savannah. Well I guess three.” He nodded at me. 

“Wow, so I have more siblings. Do you happen to know where he is now, or a phone number? I would love to reach out to him.” 

“Yeah, I have his address and number.” He wrote the address down and his number. 

I took the paper, shaking. How was I going to start this conversation? Would he want me, would he even talk to me?

That’s when I felt a hand on mine. I looked up into his green eyes, so full of compassion, “Want me to stay while you call him?” I bit my lip and nodded. 

I pulled out my phone and dialed the number. My breath caught in my throat. The ringing of the phone echoed in my ear. “Hello?” I heard a deep, male voice say. 

I let out the breath I was holding, “Um, hi. My name is Y/N, you don’t know me, but I believe you knew my mother, Y/M/N.""Wow, yeah I knew her years ago. How is she?” “Oh um, she passed away. I’m sorry.” I felt a hand holding mine, a light squeeze encouraging me to continue. 

“Oh darlin’ I’m sorry to hear that. Your mama was a very special woman.” “Thank you.” My heart was beating so loudly in my ears everything around me was muffled. I took a deep breath and said everything I needed to in one breath, before I lost my nerve. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I wanted to find you. You see, I’m your daughter. Mom was pregnant with me when the two of you split. She didn’t know she was pregnant until after, and she tried to find you, but couldn’t. I’m not expecting anything from you, but I just had to make sure you knew I existed before I got married and started that part of my life.” I finally took a breath. 

The line was silent. I was terrified. “Mr. Baker? Are you still there?” “Yeah, I’m still here. Wow, so Y/M/N was pregnant. What’s your name again?” 

My voice soft, “Y/N.” “That was her mother’s name. Very beautiful name.” 

We continued talking and made a plan for me to drive to meet him. He couldn’t drive due to a leg injury, so I offered to drive to him. 

When I hung up I looked at the man sitting across from me, “Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me.” We stood and he pulled me into a hug. His arms were strong, and held me tight. “Good luck, Y/N, and congratulations on your engagement. Please tell your father hello for me.” I nodded and he left. 

I called Aaron and told him I found my father and was planning a trip out to meet him. “This is foolish. You’re wasting time and money on this. You talked to him, why can’t you get the closure you need over the phone?” My heart sank. Walking out of the coffee shop on the phone, the tears started to fall. 

“Aaron, this is something I need to do. Please support me in this. I’ve always supported you.” “Do what you need to do, but remember our engagement party is next week. You need to be home for that.” I wiped the tears away, “I will.” 

I climbed in my car and cried. I was torn between meeting my father and being here with my fiancé. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was doing the right thing. 

Green Eyes POV:

I may have held onto her a little longer than I should. Seeing her so vulnerable but so brave did something to me. She was beautiful, and kind. Her eyes are the perfect shade of y/e/c. She’s engaged and I’m with someone, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how she bit her lip when she was nervous or how she fidgeted the whole time she was on the phone. 

When we said our goodbyes I saw her exit the coffee shop on the phone. No doubt planning the trip with her fiancé. Then I noticed her in her car, crying. 

Oh it broke my heart. I couldn’t help myself, but I walked to her car and lightly tapped on the window. 

Turning around in surprise, she wiped her tears away. “Hey, are you okay?” I asked as she rolled down her window. “I will be. Thank you. Aaron isn’t happy with me going on the trip, so I have to decide to stay or go alone. I don’t know what to do. I want to meet my father, but Aaron thinks it’s a waste.” 

I touched her arm, “Darlin’ if it’s something that will help bring you peace, then it’s not a waste of time. Why don’t I go with you? I know the area well, and I’d love to see Mike again.” 

She looked stunned, “I can’t ask you to do that. Besides, your girlfriend wouldn’t like you traveling across the country with some random woman.” “She’ll be fine, besides she’s on a girls trip. So, what do you say? We can split everything, gas, food, hotel.” 

“Okay, let’s do it. Here’s my address. Be there in about an hour and I’ll be ready.” 

I nodded and took her address. My fingers lightly brushed her hand and I shivered. 

Reader’s POV: 

An hour later I was sitting with my bags packed and reeling from the last argument I had with Aaron. He was pissed that I agreed to travel with a stranger. I told him it was safer to travel with him than alone. Before Aaron left he said he hoped my father was worth the arguing he and I were doing, and the strain it was causing in our relationship. I scoffed, “it’s only causing strain because you’re letting it. He’s my father for fucks sake. You have no idea what it feels like to not know where you came from. Now that I have an opportunity to find out, I’m going to take it. You, as my fiancé, should be supportive.” He turned on his heels and stormed out. 

I sat waiting and then I heard the rumble of the car. I looked up and saw the most gorgeous car I’d ever seen. She was sleek, black and from the looks of her, well taken care of. 

I walked to the driveway as he exited the car. “She’s beautiful.” I said as I stepped closer with my bags. “Thank you, she’s my pride and joy, my Baby.” He said as he took my bags. 

I smiled and nodded. Climbing in the front seat I ran my fingers over the beautiful black leather seats. She was breathtaking. When he climbed in the driver’s seat he saw me and smiled. “Are you ready?” I nodded and he backed out of the driveway. 

The total drive was going to take a little over ten hours. Since it was December, we had to be careful of the cold temperatures, and potential ice and snow on the roads. 

We passed the time talking, listening to music, and taking in the sights. He was so easy to talk to, and his laugh was amazing, especially when he’d tilt his head back and it came from his belly. 

I wouldn’t admit it, but being with him was easy, and in another life I could see myself with him. 

Green Eyes POV: 

I could tell when I picked her up she had a lot on her mind. She looked like she had been crying again. No doubt another argument with her fiance. Then she saw my Baby. The way her eyes lit up, the way her fingers danced over the leather, had my mind racing. Once we were on the road we talked, she loves the same music I do, and her smile could light up the darkest night. She was stunning. 

I wouldn’t admit it, but being with her was easy, and in another life I could see myself with her.

As the hours ticked by I was getting tired, and I could tell he was too. I lightly touched his arm, “You know we should probably stop for the night, grab a bite to eat and sleep.” He nodded and found a nice hotel to stop at for the night. 

He came back to the car with a key, “They had one room available, but it has two beds. I hope this is okay. If not, I can sleep out here. It’s no problem.” 

I touched his arm, “No, it’s perfect. I’m not going to let you sleep out here. Let’s get settled and grab something to eat.” 

I took the room key and he grabbed the bags. Walking into the room, it was nice and clean. There were two queen beds, a small television and a small table to the side. He placed my bag on the bed furthest from the door. I smiled slightly when I saw it. 

I sent Aaron a text to let him know we stopped for the night.

Me: Hey, just wanted to let you know we are halfway through the trip. We stopped for the night to eat and sleep. Back on the road tomorrow. I love you.

Aaron: Are you sharing a room?

I scoffed, really. This was the only thing he said?

Me: Yes, it was the only room available, but there are two beds and I’m sleeping alone. For your information he offered to sleep in his car so I/you weren’t uncomfortable. 

Aaron: So why isn’t he?

Me: Because I was not going to let him sleep in a fucking car, Aaron! Jesus, we are sleeping in separate beds. Don’t you trust me?

Aaron: I don’t know what to think anymore. 

Me: Wow, okay. We’ve been together for 4 years and I’ve never given you a reason to doubt my commitment. This is crazy. I’m going to eat, take a shower and go to bed. Good night, Aaron. I love you.

Aaron: Good night. 

My heart sunk, I can’t believe he’d think I’d throw away what we have. 

We went to a diner in town and ate dinner. I chuckled when he ordered two kinds of pie. “You gonna eat both of those?” I asked with a grin. He smirked, “Nope, we are”, and handed me a fork. After dinner and the pies we went back to the room. 

“Hey, I’m gonna jump in the shower if you don’t mind.” I looked at him as I got my pajamas and clean panties out of my bag. “No, darlin’, it’s all yours.” 

I nodded and walked in the bathroom, closing the door behind me. 

The hot water cascading around me was a welcomed feeling. It was chilly outside and I needed to just release the stress of the day. I washed my hair and body. Stepping out of the shower I wrapped my hair in a towel, dried off my body and pulled on my clothes. Looking in the mirror I realized the pajamas I brought weren’t ones I typically wear around mixed company. The shorts were short, and the top was thin, leaving not much to the imagination. I took a deep breath before exiting the bathroom. I hope I didn’t make him uncomfortable. 

Walking into the room, the steam from the bathroom followed me out. His eyes flicked up and I saw him look over my body then quickly looked away. 

“Shower’s all yours if you want. The water pressure was amazing.” I said as I took my hair out of the towel. I stood with my back to him, brushing my hair. 

As he walked past me to go into the bathroom I noticed his tense jaw. I was worried I made him uncomfortable, so I crawled into bed, pulling the blanket up and under my chin. 

I heard the shower turn on, then the bathroom door opened. He walked out without a shirt on. “Forgot my clothes.” He turned and looked at me in the bed. He chuckled, “Cold?” I just nodded. My breath quickened as I took in his body. 

My thighs clenched together. Ugh! I’m not going to survive this. I heard his belt hit the floor and I could only assume his pants too. I started to fantasize about the rest of his body. What the hell is wrong with me? He’s with someone and I’m engaged. Stop fantasizing about him. Then I heard a sound from the bathroom that confused and excited me.

Green Eyes POV:

God she’s beautiful, and those pajamas, fuck! Her perfect ass and perky nipples, just teasing me. The way she looked at me when I went back in the room. God I could take her right there. I felt myself getting aroused. My cock, straining against my pants. I needed a release. After removing my clothes, my hard cock sprang free and the pink head was covered in precum. 

I climbed in the shower, flashes of her body, her lips, her perfect body in my head. I fantasized about being with her. I took my cock in my hand and the feeling pulled a moan from my lips. This was wrong, I shouldn’t be fantasizing about her, but fuck I couldn’t help it. I pumped my cock, slow at first, but as the images of her played in my head like a record my movements became faster, more urgent. I was panting and moaning her name. Biting my lip to try to contain the noise. I was chasing my release with images of her under me, on her knees and her lips kissing mine. When my release hit, it hit hard. I grunted and spilled my seed all over the tile wall. 

I should feel ashamed, but something in me stirred. I didn’t feel ashamed, I felt unrepentant. 

Reader’s POV:

As I laid in the bed, thighs still clenched together I heard noises from the bathroom. At first I wasn’t sure what it was. Then I realized he was masturbating. A blush formed over my cheeks. I tried not to listen to such an intimate moment, but I couldn’t stop myself. I felt the arousal start to pool in between my thighs. My panties soaked. My hand found its way to the hem of my shorts and panties. I slipped my hand in and gently started to touch myself. I was soaked, and my clit was throbbing with need. Every grunt and moan from him, pulled a moan from me. I thought I heard him whisper my name, but the sound of my blood pumping in my ears was starting to drown him out. I continued rubbing my clit, and sliding my fingers in and out of my wet pussy. I was close to my release. 

I started rubbing faster, moving my hips in rhythm with my fingers. My pointer and middle finger on either side of my clit, rubbing it, faster and faster. My other hand found my hardened nipples. I pinched and pulled as I got closer and closer. I heard his grunts come faster, so I knew he was close. “Oh fuck, yes!” I whispered as my release hit. My body shaking and my walls clenching around nothing as my release flowed through my body. As I slid my hand out I heard the water turn off. 

He came out of the bathroom, hair wet, no shirt and gray sweatpants on. His cheeks slightly flushed, and I know he noticed mine were too. I wasn’t sure if he heard me, but if he did he didn’t mention it. 

He climbed in his bed, leaned over to face me and to turn off his lamp, “Good night, sweetheart.” My heart fluttered, “Good night.” 

I laid back staring at the ceiling. My mind raced with thoughts of what I had just done. Guilt creeped in, but I quickly pushed it away. It’s not like I slept with him. It was just a fantasy. I had no idea he was facing the same turmoil I was. 

The next morning the sun peeked through the crack in the curtains and left a ray of light across his face. I noticed freckles peppering his face and flecks of gray in his beard. He was gorgeous, even asleep. 

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to change. After taking off my pajamas I realized I left my shirt on the bed. I put on my pants, and bra and slipped out of the bathroom. I glanced at his bed, his eyes shut. I walked to the foot of my bed and grabbed my shirt, darting into the bathroom to finish getting dressed. I let out the breath I was holding. I don’t know what I would have done if he woke up. 

Green Eyes POV:

I woke up early, seeing her still asleep. Her blanket had slipped off, exposing her legs and curvy body. My mind flashed back to last night and a little guilt seeped in my heart. I cared about my girlfriend, but damn was she something else. I noticed she started to wake up so I pretended to be asleep. 

She got out of bed and went into the bathroom. I heard the door open and saw her look out. I closed my eyes enough to make it look like I was asleep. Then she came out of the bathroom in her bra and pants. God she was sexy. Her curves and body filling out her bra and jeans. I saw her grab her shirt and hurry back in the bathroom. I bit my lip. 

I waited a few minutes to “wake up” once she got back in the room.

Coming back into the room I noticed he was still asleep. He stirred a few minutes later and stretched. I tried to look away when I noticed his morning situation, but my god was he, gifted. 

“Good morning, Y/N.” His sleepy, gruff voice broke the silence. I swallowed, “Good morning to you.” I smiled. As I turned away, he adjusted himself. “I’m gonna get dressed, we can grab breakfast and hit the road if you’d like.” 

I was putting on my sock and shoes, “Yeah, that would be great, thanks.” He grabbed his clothes and went into the bathroom. When he came out he was dressed, except for his shirt. 

Fuck! This man is going to be the death of me. I felt my cheeks flush red with heat. I turned away and started to pack, hoping he didn’t see me. Once packed I grabbed my bag and was starting to carry it out of the room. He stopped me, “No, darlin’, let me carry that.” He took it in his hand and slung it over his shoulder, then he grabbed his. Walking out to the car, he dropped them in the trunk. 

We double checked we had everything and turned in the key. “Ready?” He asked. I nodded, “Yes, I’m ready.” 

Grabbing a quick breakfast we were on the road within an hour. There was about 5 hours left. I checked the weather and saw snow was coming this evening where my father lived. “Hey, it looks like around my dad’s there is snow coming in tonight. I hope it’s not too much. I don’t want you to get stuck up there with me.”

He turned his head quickly. Almost like he was offended. “Hey, it’s going to be okay, and if we get snowed in then so be it.” 

My heart raced, my eyes met his, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just didn’t want to cause you issues with your girl.” He just nodded and kept his eyes on the road.

A silence filled the car. I didn’t know what to say, so I pulled out my book and started to read. He turned on the radio, softly, and I read. About 3 hours later he pulled into a gas station. “I need to stretch and fill her up. Need anything?” I closed my book, “I’ll get out and stretch too, I’ll grab drinks and snacks.” He nodded and I grabbed my purse, walking into the gas station. 

I went to the restroom and grabbed some snacks and a few things to drink. As I approached the cash register I looked to the right and saw some mini pies. I smiled and grabbed a few. I paid for my purchases and went to the car. 

He came back a few minutes later and slid in the driver’s seat. “I got drinks and snacks. I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I took a chance and got some things I like. Oh and I got you some mini pies.” 

His head turned and he looked at me with a smirk, “You got me pie?” I nodded and smiled. He grabbed the bag and started digging through it. I giggled as he pulled out the pies. “Wow, sweetheart, thank you.” 

The next thing I knew he pulled me to him and kissed me. He pulled back quickly, “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Shit! I’m so sorry.” I placed my hand on his chest, “Hey, it’s okay. I promise.” 

He nodded, turned his body and started the car. I noticed his jaw was tight and his frame rigid. My heart ached. 

His lips were so soft against mine and that kiss sent electricity straight through me. Aaron had never kissed me like that, and I’d never felt that when he kissed me.

The rest of the drive to my father’s house was pretty quiet. I was thankful it was only a few hours. The tension in the car was building. 

Pulling into my father’s driveway I anxiety started to build. My hands trembled, and I fidgeted. I felt his hand on mine. I looked over at him and he smiled softly, “He’s going to love you so much, sweetheart. Just be yourself.” 

I nodded and opened my door. He stayed in the car as I approached the front porch. I took a deep breath, knocked softly and the door opened. Standing before me was my father. I knew right away I had his eyes and nose. 

“Y/N?” I nodded. He threw his arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I let out the breath I was holding. When he let me go, he looked at me, “You look just like your mother. So beautiful.” “Thank you.” 

“Would you like to come in? What about your friend in the car?” I nodded, turned and motioned for him to come in. As he approached, my father instantly recognized him. He pulled him into a hug. “Man, look at you. All grown up. You look so much like your father. It’s great to see you.” 

We all walked in and I noticed the pictures around the house. I could only assume the pictures were of his children and his late wife. Then my father spoke, “Wait, Y/N, you said you were engaged. Are you two engaged?” In unison we both said no. 

My father looked bewildered. I explained everything to him. “Well, I sure am glad you reached out. If I had known about you I would have been in your life. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” 

“It’s okay. I know mom wanted to tell you. She said she reached out to your sister, but she told her she didn’t know where you were.” My father shook his head, “She never did like our relationship. My sister was always trying to hook me up with her best friend. When your mother and I split I went back home. She knew where I was.” He hung his head, “Damn, all this time I could have known you, maybe been married to your mom.” 

“Did you love her?” I asked him. His face tight, “More than anything. She was the love of my life.” 

The next few days I spent with my father and met my brother and sister. It was an amazing time, except for the tension between myself and my companion. 

I couldn’t figure out what I did, or what happened. The next morning, the day before we were supposed to leave, I sat on my dad’s porch sipping a coffee, thinking. I didn’t hear the door open. My dad stepped out, “Hey kiddo, everything okay?” 

I looked up, “Yeah, well I’m not sure. My fiance, Aaron and I have barely spoken since our last fight, and to be honest I’m confused.” My father gently touched my shoulder, “Confused about your fiance, or perhaps another man?” He motioned his head towards the house. 

I took a deep breath, “I just met him, he’s got a girlfriend and I’m engaged, but…” “But you can’t stop thinking about the possibilities?” I nodded. “Well, I can’t tell you what to do, but some fatherly advice, follow your heart. If something feels right, you’ll know, and if something feels off, you’ll know it.” 

I stood up and hugged him, “Thanks, dad.” He smiled and pulled me tight, “You’re welcome baby girl.” 

Later that night we all decided to go to the Christmas light festival in town. Walking beside him, I could feel the heat radiating off of him, and when the wind blew just right I could smell his cologne. I inhaled deeply, taking it in. My dad, sister, brother and their families walked ahead of us. 

The laughter of other people surrounding us. I finally got the courage to talk to him. “Hey, is everything okay? Things just seem off.” “Yeah, everything is okay. I just feel bad for kissing you. I know you’re engaged.” 

I gently touched his arm, “Hey, it’s okay. That kiss was..” I stopped myself and looked in his eyes. He stepped closer. Our bodies close, his fingers lightly brushing against mine. “That kiss was what?” He asked, eyes locked on mine. 

I bit my lip, “That kiss was perfect.” I whispered. He leaned in closer, his lips ghosting mine, “Tell me to stop.” I stood there, “No.” His lips landed on mine. The kiss was soft at first, then his hands went into my hair and he deepened the kiss. I moaned into his mouth.

The kiss was absolutely magical and full of so much passion and need. As we pulled back from each other, I saw his eyes full of so much love. The twinkle lights above us casting a halo of color around him. I knew I wanted him, I knew this was who I was meant to be with. 

We made it back to our room, clothes were shed and he began kissing down my body. Taking my nipples in his mouth as his fingers played my body like a grand piano. His body hovering over mine, “Tell me to stop.” He whispered. “Don’t” 

That was all the permission he needed. He pushed inside me, and the days of want and tension just melted away. Every touch, every thrust, every kiss brought us closer together. Our bodies tangled together for hours, whispers and promises made in the middle of the passion. Both of us forgetting the commitment we made to another person. At that moment it was just us. 

We both fell asleep in each other’s arms. Around 3am his phone went off, and I glanced at it, seeing his girlfriend’s name and a message that read: “Hey baby. I got home early. I hope your trip is going well. I can’t wait for you to get home. I love you.” 

My heart sank. He’s not mine and I’m not his. We can’t be together. We’ve both betrayed the other people in our lives. I looked over at him. His eyes closed, for the first time since that first night, his jaw relaxed, and he had a slight smile on his face. 

My heart sank. I knew what I had to do. I cried the whole time.

Green Eyes POV:

The light of the sun peeked through the slightly opened curtain. I stretched and reached for her. Last night was perfect, she was perfect. When I reached for her, the bed was empty, cold. On her pillow a note. My heart sank.

By the time you read this I’ll be gone. These past few days with you have been amazing. Last night felt like nothing I’d ever felt before. You and I both are committed to other people, and I can’t come into your life and ruin that. I’m supposed to be getting married, and now I’m just confused. I know if I stay the feelings I’m feeling won’t let me walk away from you. I can’t, no I won’t make you decide between me or her. You’re an incredible man and I honestly wish things were different. I’m sorry. I’m so incredibly sorry. You deserve so much more than a letter. I just wish I could give it to you, but I can’t. Please take care of yourself, and I’ll always be grateful for you and the time we’ve spent together. 

Forever,

Y/N

I took a deep breath. She was gone. I packed my stuff up and headed back home. The drive home was quiet, but oh so loud. Thoughts of us, of last night, of the first night, the whole trip played in my head. 

Reader’s POV: 

I hated leaving him. I just knew if I stayed I’d never leave him. Stepping out of the airport back home I felt the cold air cut right through me. I walked back into my house and dropped my bags. I sat on the couch and cried. Letting all the emotions I’d been holding in, out. 

A few days later I was standing in the middle of a restaurant, surrounded by most of Aaron’s friends and some of mine for our engagement party. My sister was here and she pulled me to the side. “Sweetie, are you okay? You’re here, but you’re not.” I just looked at her and broke down.

She pulled me into the bathroom and I told her everything. She held me tight, “Oh sweetie, it sounds like you fell in love with him. Why are you going through with this engagement? I can see you’re not happy.” 

My phone kept ringing. I looked at the caller ID, it was him. I silenced it. It rang again, and again I declined the call. He kept calling. My sister looked at me, “Honey, answer it. Hear him out. If he wanted to just walk away he wouldn’t be calling you.” 

When the phone rang again I answered it. “You have to stop calling me. I’m at my engagement party.” “Sweetheart, please.” “I can’t. Aaron didn’t do anything wrong, your girlfriend didn’t do anything wrong. We did. I did.” 

“I’ll walk away from you darlin’ if you can tell me you don’t love me.” My breath hitched. The tears started to fall. My sister put her hand on my shoulder. “I uh..” 

“Sweetheart, don’t cry, please. Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll walk away.” I looked at my sister, “I need some air.” She helped me out the backdoor of the restaurant. My hands were shaking as I held the phone.

“I want you to know I don’t regret what we did, baby. I’ve never felt what I felt with you. I broke up with my girlfriend too. Not because of us, well not completely because of us. We had been drifting apart, it was mutual. I just thought you should know that.” I sobbed harder. “Please stop. I can’t do this. I’m supposed to be getting married.” 

He sighed, “I understand, I’m sorry darlin’. I hope you have an amazing life full of the love you deserve. I’ll let you go.” My heart broke. “No, wait, please.” A silence filled the air. “By the way, you look beautiful tonight. That dress fits you perfectly.” My breath hitched. I looked up and saw him standing near the corner of the building. 

I ran to him, threw my arms around him and held him. “Tell me you don’t love me, Y/N.” “I can’t, because I do.” He lifted my chin and kissed my lips, deepening the kiss. “Good, because I love you too.” 

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[strangegardendelusion]

andres dumb plan hinges too much on the idea of "stolas will come save blitz because he loves him and then hold himself accountable so i can take his legions! obviously!" when theres like. no implication that anyone really knows what blitz and stolas's relationship is, or that they even care about each other, especially not when stella said, "he finally realized that filthy little beast was only using him to gain access to his grimoire", like, what about that implies that stolas would give a shit if anything happened to someone who was "using him"? thats right - it doesnt! if andres plan had been properly executed in the stupid ass way he set it up in the episode, then blitz wouldve been executed, and fuck all wouldve happen to stolas after. if anything, hed be treated like a hero who was used unfairly by some low life, who was then slaughtered on tv to remind the lower citizens of hell not to fuck with the upper crust. imagine if that had happened, forcing stolas to go back to his home by himself; no stella since they divorced, no via since shes turning 18 soon, and no blitzy, ever again. maybe they shouldve just done that tbh, that way he could take over the show completely, since thats obviously what viv wants so damn bad. (also, stolas possible redemption arc when he realizes his actions actually DO have consequences!) or, i dunno, if she had the maturity to let other people look at her 3 year old script without surrounding herself with yesman, she mightve realized that she couldve kept EVERYTHING she wanted and still had the same ending, at the price of having stolas do the bare minimum and say, "he didnt force himself onto me, i.. forced myself onto him." the ending with all the imps hating stolas would make sense (because they know hes a rapist), blitz being able to even acknowledge any care he has for stolas might make more sense if he'd even SAY what he did wrong to blitz in front of EVERYONE important in hell, being a way to make up for his manipulative behavior and him hiding his face at ozzies, especially if stolas said, "i'm so sorry, blitz. for getting you into this mess, for everything ive done to you.." after blitz says thank you when they return home. (thats just the way i'd write it, because i cannot fucking stand that blitz says, "thank you, stolas, for saving my life," when blitz, at minimum, has saved stolas's life 3 TIMES AND HAS NEVER GOTTEN A THANK YOU ONCE BEFORE THIS POINT and was even INSULTED over saving him the best he could, because blitz needed to be there for his DAUGHTER first like a good dad, which is obviously something stolas has never comprehended since his sacrifice and willingness to die for his former forced sex slave in mastermind proves that, but stolas saves blitz twice, the second time being when hes holding himself accountable for his own actions that nearly got his "lover" killed to begin with? oh, heres a gold star, a thank you from the guy you forced to have sex with you to keep food on the table for his family, and a free imp to wash you just like when you were 12 i mean a totally not trauma bonded bf!)

Honestly, anon, interesting points all around! I didn't even think about all you said before you mentioned it.

Now, having blitz died is a very interesting idea

I mean, it would be very cool to see how each character reacts to his death, like having loona experience her sadness by turning it into anger and having millie and moxxie grieving with each other the best they can.

It would also be very interesting to see stolas hitting the deep end as he realized how his life is falling apart

I could see stolas trying to reach out to everyone blitz knew, and nobody wanted to do anything with stolas

From then on, the series would follow stolas as he deals with everything

[maxdibert]

Hello!! I love your blog so much, super enjoyed your Snape analyses 🫶

If I may ask, what is your opinion of the notion of "Snape didn't love Lily enough to give up dark arts for her"?. It's something I see a lot when people take badly about Snape, and especially, with JKR (👎) having said that Lily would've loved if he wasn't so enamored with dark magic.

Thank you very much! 😊🫶

I find this utterly ridiculous. I don’t understand all that nonsense about “dark arts are horrible.” So many things in the lore require dark arts, many solutions come from dark arts, and, in general, dark arts are necessary in that society. Sure, maybe in the context of the ’70s generation, dark arts were seen as a red flag, but Lily literally downplays the bullying Severus suffered just because “at least the Marauders don’t use dark arts.” Like, what kind of argument is that? Does abuse hurt less depending on the weapon used? Is it less of an issue if I shoot you rather than stab you? Honestly…

Look, no one should have to change who they are or what they like to be loved—that’s utter nonsense. You don’t have to change for anyone; love doesn’t work like that. Obviously, there are limits—if you’re an alcoholic, for example, then yes, it’d be good to go to rehab. I’m not talking about extremes like that. But when it comes to personality, no one can demand that you change. No one has the right to tell you how you should be or think and then reproach you by saying, “if you don’t change, it means you don’t love me enough.” That’s trash—it’s control, it’s trying to mold someone into your image, and that’s not how it works. Either you like someone for who they are, or you don’t. But this “oh, if only they were this way, maybe…” Well, then you don’t like that person; you like a completely different type of person—and that’s fine, but let’s not make excuses.

“If Severus hadn’t liked dark arts, maybe Lily would have loved him.” Okay, well then, there was no way Lily would’ve ever loved him because Severus is who he is precisely because he liked dark arts. He liked them before he got involved with future Death Eaters, he liked them when he allied with Voldemort, and—most importantly—he still liked them after leaving Voldemort. It’s part of his personality and identity, regardless of his life stage or what side he’s on. A Severus who didn’t like dark arts wouldn’t be Severus; he’d be someone else entirely.

The issue with how love is often perceived stems from this toxic, traditional ideal of romantic love that we’ve been conditioned to accept. It establishes patterns of behavior that involve losing or giving up our individuality for the sake of our partner, and that’s not how it works. If Lily didn’t like the dark arts, then she and Severus were never going to have a future. He can’t demand or expect her to tolerate something she despises, and she equally doesn’t have the right to expect him to give up something that’s important to him. Similarly, Severus didn’t need to stop being himself to win over Lily—he needed to find someone who didn’t care about his interests or who was compatible with them.

Love isn’t about giving things up; it’s about finding someone who is compatible with what you bring to the table—whether because they have no issue with it, share those interests, or have their own qualities that balance yours. That’s it.

If you have to change or mold your personality for someone else, then what you have isn’t love—it’s a farce.

[kacchanrawr]

mha final volume spoilers

For the past few months I've kinda just come to accept MHA's ending to be whatever. Not the best, but not the worst I've seen it's fine whatever. But seeing the final volume extra content honestly just has me genuinely hating the ending. I'm trying to keep an open mind cuz it's not officially out yet and leaks can be kinda dubious, but I'm genuinely so upset.

Ig the main feeling I have is: genuinely what's the point??? I mean there's a lot of things going on in mha and depending on what you care about ig you could feel like everything's fine and resolved, but personally? Just no. My main problem a few months ago was with Toga's death, but now I'm just even more pissed.

As so many people have probably already discussed: killing the villains off after all this stuff about saving them is a fucking problem right?? With Toga's case specifically (cuz she's my fave and I care the most about her), it's her just dying after she finally found the love and acceptance she's always wanted from Ochako. Like why? Even if you can technically make sense of it with her explanation of "I want to live life as I please", it's just stupid and distasteful. It would be one thing if she said that cuz she was just running away to be free, but to kill her? Of bloodloss of all things? Idc abt people going oh thats sooo poetic, no i think it's stupid. So many other characters have lived after going through worse like for fuck's sake, Edgeshot's still around.

What's the point of that emotional resolution if you don't show the aftermath, of her being able to live happily, or at least how she'll go on with life from then on? She didn't have to die, she could've just escaped or whatever (I was hoping that was the case when there was no mention of Toga's body). But by killing her, the only message I got from mha's whole saving the villains thing is: "sooo maybe having empathy for the deviances of society is important actually, but it's kinda inconvenient to deal with them." And even if that wasn't Hori's exact intention, that's what his story seems to be saying by killing off the villains.

And then the fucking nail in the coffin is the fact that Hori used Toga's death to drive Izuocha. It was one thing when he did it with the cliff talk when Ochako was mourning Toga (I always found it distasteful okay), but it's so much worse to write Toga literally pushing Ochako to Deku. So not only did Hori kill off the queer character who finally had her resolution and romance so he won't have to deal with her, but he's really following through with the Bury the Gays trope by using her o push the girl she loves to a man? Ew.

The worst part is that even if Izuocha got together and they're canon or whatever cuz of that last part, the way Hori did it is so fucking mid. Like seriously, if you were gonna do my girl dirty like that for that het romance, at least make it good?? But noooo. I mean they don't have to be like kissing and getting married and having babies or whatever (that'd just be shit), but at least have them properly get together. What is that "implied romance" ass handshake?? There's no fucking reason to make it implied, they're not queer or forbidden or complicated or anything. Bro just didn't wanna commit to actually fleshing out their romance. And you used Toga and her death for that, for absolutely fucking nothing?? The funniest part is that everything Togachako did is infinitely more romantic than that handshake, so how am I supposed to be convinced by this "implied romance"? (anyone who says implications enough for izuocha I'd say the bar's just on the floor for you cuz they're het)

And then there's Bakugo. I mean I was fine and whatever with the original epilogue, but what the fuck? So you're telling me bro lead Project Deku Hero Suit or whatever for 8 years, only for Deku to reject him when asked to be a part of his agency? It may or may not have been explicitly stated that they'd be in a hero agency together whatever, but I feel like it was a natural conclusion that they'd end up working together/closely as a hero duo? Win to save and save to win, wonder duo defeating ShigAFO together, that hospital talk about competing together for the rest of their lives, him being the one to reach out to Deku at the epilogue chapter, hello? DEKU REJECTED THAT AND FOR WHAT. Also ok fine this may sound stupid to be upset over, but why the fuck is Bakugo rank 15. Like we do just be writing whatever I guess

I'm still holding on to some hope that the leaks were ass and inaccurate. Or maybe even completely fake cuz the chapter's been getting a lot of AI art allegations? Though it's also probable that's just the leaker who used AI to get high res pictures of the leaks. IDK MAN JUST PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE COMPLETELY ACCURATE PLEASE LET ME STAND CORRECTED

[hamliet]

Hope you are having a wonderful day! Just wanted to ask, what's your take on Rhaegar Targaryen? What kind of person do you perceive him as? GRRM has so many characters praise him but many of his actual actions were so shitty

Good question! My interpretation: he's a person.

No, but really. I think he is neither the conniving groomer many view him as, nor the heroic, romantic prince with a heart of gold. But I think he started out more as the heroic, romantic side than the other.

Do I think Rhaegar loved Lyanna? Yes, I genuinely do. I realize that take isn't popular but my guess is that it fits better with Martin's view of a Romantic world, and also fits better with Lyanna's character. That said, I also don't think Martin will ever clear it up and will leave the idea of whether this is love or not up for debate--because it can be debated. I guess I should say I think Lyanna and Rhaegar both believed they were in love and felt that way until they died. However--

However, love doesn't magically make the world better. This is the part where Martin's view takes a melancholy semi-deconstructionist look at Romanticism. Martin's MO in doing this, through other characters like Sansa, is showing us that fairy tale logic-- "knights are brave and faithful" "love saves the day" and "true power is kindness"--doesn't work on a daily level, but it doesn't mean there is no value to the ideals it teaches.

Idealism seems to be at the root of Rhaegar's character, honestly. He's kind of like Sansa, but if Sansa was still unwise as an adult with a lot more power and agency. Idealism of romantic love. Idealism of being a brave heroic king who fulfilled the prophecy to save the world. He fully believed in these things, and they made his life and the lives of everyone he loved worse.

Rhaegar is married to Elia and essentially ditches her and their two kids to run off with Lyanna, who is a teenager facing a marriage she doesn't want with someone who claims to love her but isn't faithful to her during betrothal, much less marriage. The tragedy of it is that Lyanna runs off with someone essentially doing the same thing to his wife that Lyanna didn't want to be done to her as Robert's wife.

Still, I think Rhaegar was probably genuinely fascinated with Lyanna when he found out she was the Knight of the Laughing Tree and promised not to reveal her. Thus, true love was all that mattered, right? Except... that's not how the world works.

But did Rhaegar really love Lyanna or was he just using her for the prophecy? Again, I think why can't it be both? I do think the prophecy idea played a role in Rhaegar's motivations to pursue Lyanna. He wanted a third child and thought he had to have one for the prophecy, but Elia could not have more children physically without killing her.*

So, my thinking is that grinding to determine whether his motives were prophecy or purely love miss the point and negate the tragedy of the situation. He loved Lyanna but yes, he also saw opportunity and assumed destiny would guide him. And that hubris ensured that both Lyanna and Rhaegar died.

Rhaegar is an idealistic man who believes so strongly in his sense of purpose--a purpose greater than himself that genuinely will save people--that he forgets to look down and look around him at the life he's actually living and the lives around him in favor of the potential lives he could save. His hyper-focus on prophecy is his tragic flaw that brings about his downfall and death of so many people, and it didn't need to happen this way.

In focusing on a dream idealistic forbidden romance and coming child, he neglects his living wife and children, who are then assaulted and brutally murdered. Instead of true love idealistically triumphing, he actually loses to the man whom Lyanna did not love but who was betrothed to marry her, since Robert kills him. In his belief that the prophecy would be fulfilled through him, he forgets that he is himself human and all humans have weaknesses and die.

Rhaegar had the best of intentions but the worst of the worst of implementation, in other words. Or maybe more accurately Rhaegar was all about theory, and he forgot practice and everyone around him paid the price, particularly the innocents like Elia, Aegon, and Rhaenys. The questions that stem from this drive many of our characters and are at the heart of the questions Martin wants his readers to ask.

And: his life wasn't entirely in vain, because his son Jon lives.

*(Aside--to his credit, Rhaegar does not force Elia to have sex and have another child even though he could have. Like, bare minimum yes, but it's also not a coincidence that we're told that Aerys the Mad King routinely brutally assaults Rhaegar's mother (and one of these attacks leads to Daenerys's birth) because in Westeros it's not assault if you're married. Side note: also not a coincidence that what isn't seen as assault but is leads to Dany while what is publicly seen as assault but isn't leads to Jon.

Even throughout Fire & Blood, we read about husbands who unquestionably love their wives having sex with them and conceiving kids strongly against medical advice--Robert and Alyssa, Jaehaerys and Alysanne, etc. Rhaegar doesn't do this, showing that he's trying to do less harm to others around him. But, he still humiliates Elia by taking off with Lyanna--and his actions do lead to her death and the death of their children. And even if they hadn't, there's an emotional toll. So, did he really do less harm, or more? These are the sorts of questions I think Martin wants his readers to ponder more than answer.)*