#i love her guess for bdubs

[mertensia]

I saw some posts of people getting their friends to guess hermits names so I got my friend to do it, and boy did she not disappoint!

Template by @savviathan !

Original post!

[raticalshoez]

Sorry guys. I'm ranting about Joel again because djskakaka that's my favorite guy. This post is a direct result of the tags in a post I reblogged and I just HAD TO TALK ABOUT IT MORE.

Okay, so Joel always carries himself to high regard. He has lots of confidence in himself, is generally apathetic and dry to any matter that doesn't concern him, and he overall loves to bite back at things. He's a big fan of chaos and violence, and stays generally bitter when things go badly for him. He can be ruthless and reckless and that's just natural for him because he's one of the many Life Series wolf-coded characters.

But something about Joel in Secret Life is just...kind? He's kind and caring, in his Joel Smallishbeans way. Especially in later sessions.

In Etho's little remembering the past era, he reassures him that he does still care for him. When Lizzie invites everyone to her party in a rushed frenzy, he attends because he thinks it's only fair. When Pearl was apprehensive about her task being guessed, he purposefully wastes his guess so she doesn't have to be worried around him. He trusts Jimmy to assist him with his task even while everyone else is cautious about his red name status. And when it all came down to it, Joel tells Martyn to stay back after all the reds have dropped like flies because even if all the reds were a threat to them, he still didn't want to see them all die in one episode.

In Secret Life, Joel still has everything he's always had. He's still bloodthirsty and holds silly grudges, evident with the whole Scott thing this session. He's still cheeky and likes to mess around and make sarcastic comments often, but at the end of the day he's Joel. He tends to stay loyal to his allies and I think he's more thoughtful than lots of people realize.

This may be part of the reason I love the Mounders. They were all sort of distant in the way they would wander off and do their own thing, but when it came down to it, they always stuck by each other. They remained loyal despite what seemed to be really loose ends tying them all together, and that means SO much to me! I guess it makes sense though; a team with the lonely wolf girl from Double Life and the lonely wolf boy from Last Life were enough to neutralize the whole, "Bdubs can be kinda disloyal" thing and the whole "Mumbo was apprehensive of any color lesser than he was" thing.

Anyways. Life Series Joel Smallishbeans. That's my guy bro...THAT'S MY GUYYYYYY

Also! The post that inspired this was by @simplydm! Their post about Joel's comment to Martyn reminded me how much that scene made me orbit around the moon so I thought they deserved to mentioned in this. Sorry to them if uh they didn't want to be tagged though. I will remove it if that ends up being the case!

[whereispearlescentmoon]

Adding to my Nosey Neighbor thoughts from earlier:

(@bigb-enthusiast and @mapleejay pspspspspsps)

Imagine it begins to snow on the server. Pearl lets it fall on her, still, watching from atop their tower. She's shivering, but doesn't really notice, hands stiffening slowly on her spyglass as she stares at the Mean Gills chatting. She says nothing, but it hurts. Somehow it feels like a betrayal to see Martyn and Scott getting along so well. She starts to lose circulation. She still does not move.

BigB sits on the opposite side of the tower, though indoors, clutching his own spyglass. He doesn't really need it to look down and see the Clockers. Scar is waving around a sword as he talks for emphasis. Cleo doesn't even flinch. Cleo turns her back to Scar to talk to BDubs. Cleo will never turn her back to BigB again.

(Pearl will. She will turn BigB's sword towards her and look away from him, begging him to kill her so he can live. He won't anyways, even with the extra time. Neither will she. Both of their blood will mingle together on Scott's sword.)

BigB can't watch anymore so he turns back inside. It's only then that he realizes Pearl isn't inside. He climbs up to meet her but she doesn't respond to his greeting. He sits down next to her and pulls her spyglass away.

"A little cold, huh?"

"Oh, yeah. I guess,"

The snow has started sticking in his hair, but it's already piled on her shoulders and hood. He fights the urge to wipe it off. Pearl's reaction to touch is...unpredictable. She forgets shes not alone sometimes, even if you're right next to her. He tries not to think about what it means that she doesn't think the people talking to her are solid enough to touch.

"I'm going to head inside, I think Jimmy's heading over to ask about Judy again,"

The aforementioned man is loitering on the bridge outside their tower, being way too loud if he's trying not to be suspicious. Grian shushes him and BigB is reminded of late night meetups that felt like betraying Ren and freedom in equal measure where both of them spent half the time shushing the other and the other half giggling.

He begins to climbs down and trusts that Pearl will follow him. The inside of the tower is warm and what little snow was clinging to him begins to melt.

Pearl won't come back inside until Jimmy has come and gone. Falling snow doesn't have the same bite as sitting directly in powdered snow, but she is tinted blue all the same. BigB will place a hand on her, fingertips first to warn and then the rest when she has acknowledged that he is real, and guide her towards a furnace. She will hiss in pain as the blood returns to dying nerves and feeling returns to fingers that are scarred from the frostbite of a previous life. They will never talk about it.

(In the next life she will drop dripstone on his head and he will be reminded of his skull splitting open in time with Ren's. And he will feel like he's speaking with Ren's voice as he banishes her from Love Island. They are back in the Box and she is a demoness who has brought death with her. But she will tilt her head and ask "Nosey Neighbors?" and he will sigh and forgive her, remembering how the time he took from her tasted.)

[theminecraftbee]

Scar's busy trying to make their rock look prettier. Cleo leans against it. It's cold against their back; good. They still feel the heat of burning mansions and anger and TNT and burning pyres. They don't have long now until they're yellow. Both they and Scar know exactly what they'll do then.

They and Scar do, at least.

Bdubs is loudly muttering indistinct things to himself while repeatedly shoving a hoe into an enchantment table. Cleo watches for a bit.

"Scar and I have some people to get revenge on tomorrow," Cleo says.

Bdubs nods. "Oh yes. Those nasty Bad Boys, they won't know what's coming to them! Just as soon as I finish dealing with this stupid hoe."

Scar snickers from the corner. "But Bdubs, I thought that was -"

"HEY!" Bdubs says. "WATCH IT!"

"Yeah Bdubs, I thought you were good with your hoes," Cleo says, because they've never been one to let a joke like that just go by.

"I'll have you know that I'm excellent at handling hoes. The best at it. The best at hoes," Bdubs says. Scar laughs so loud he nearly chokes.

"Wow, didn't need to know you thought that," Cleo says.

"I'm - no you idiots!" Bdubs says. "You're putting things in my mouth!"

"Like the hoes?" Scar says.

"Screw you guys," Bdubs says, huffing and returning to the steady chime of the enchantment table and grind of the grindstone. Cleo tries to catch her breath again through the laughter to remember her original point.

Wiping at her eyes, she leans back. "To be honest though, I have no idea what your plans are. You sort of just... vanished today?"

"Yeah. We lost you," Scar says. "Not very responsible parenting. Or older sibling-ing."

"Who said you were older?" grumps Bdubs.

"Well you see, the older sibling is normally taller, and -"

"Boys," Cleo says. They both stop.

"Sorry mom," Scar says, sounding not even remotely sorry.

"I regret you two," Cleo says.

"Awww. But you love us," Bdubs says.

"Absolutely not," Cleo says. "Besides, you're dodging my question. Where were you?"

"Well, I can't just tell you that," Bdubs says. "Then people will know!"

Cleo and Scar are both quiet for a long moment.

"That's sort of the point? It'll just be us," Scar says. "Us, your partners in crime, knowing where you were. That's all we're asking."

Bdubs harumphs. "And I said I'm not telling. They'll know if I tell you. The people who are watching. And they don't get to know, you hear me? Nope, I'm a man of mystery. I'm here to keep them guessing, I am!"

Cleo and Scar glance at each other. Scar is grimacing. Ah. He knows what Bdubs is talking about, doesn't he. Cleo's not sure they do. They almost do, but clearly not in the same way Scar does.

Still, they know enough.

Cleo huffs overdramatically. "Fine then. Keep your secrets. See if I tell you mine."

"You can't have secrets! You're our mom!" Scar says.

"You have a bizarre idea of how this works," Cleo says.

"Aha!" Bdubs says. "A - no I read it wrong. Gosh darn it."

He puts the hoe in the grindstone again, washing off whatever he'd enchanted it with. Cleo leans back against the wall to cool the burns they still feel. They prepare for the next morning.

[dmwrites]

“Do you have a clock yet?” Impulse asked.

It was a warm day, the bright sunlight sweetened by the gentle breeze off the sea. Everything was new, the next chapter in the life series, and yet, some things stayed the same.

Bdubs searched his inventory. “I don’t, actually, no!”

Tango made some joke about not being able to sleep away the night here, and under that cover of laughter and jokes, Impulse stole down to the rudimentary hole he, Tango, Skizz, and Etho were calling home. Perhaps it was a little silly, to use resources so frivolously like this, but Impulse didn’t care.

Every time Impulse made a clock, he was always surprised how easy the recipe really was. Some redstone, a bit of gold. It felt almost juvenile that such a simple thing held so much weight and history within it.

When the clock was finished, Impulse flipped open the lid and picked up a small knife someone had left around- probably Etho- and began scratching letters into the golden surface.

“Well, I better be off, I’m sure Scar and Cleo are missing me.” Impulse heard Bdubs say from above. He snapped the clock closed, panicked, and raced back up to the surface.

“Wait, Bdubs!” He thrust the clock into Bdubs’ hands. “For you. For old times sake, huh? And maybe a bit of a bribe to not target me.” Impulse laughed, and Bdubs smiled down at the clock.

“Oh, thank you, Impulse!” Bdubs replied, putting it in his off-hand. “For old time’s sake.”

——

“Listen, Bdubs, I have something for you.” Cleo said. It was, if Cleo had to guess, the last day the Clockers would be alive. They were all rushing around, gathering materials and weapons. “You don’t happen to have a clock, do you?”

“Uhh…” Bdubs dug in his pockets for a moment. “I do! Impulse gave it to me way back on the first day!”

“Of course he did.” Cleo muttered, rolling her eyes slightly. “Listen, we can give you a better one. Give it to me.”

Bdubs handed it over, and Cleo went down to their family anvil, ignoring Scar’s babbling.

It was a standard clock, she saw as she looked down at it properly, with a golden lid with a window to the top half of the clock- if you were in a rush, the top was all you needed to tell the time. Cleo took out her tools, and popped the lid, intending to carve something into the back side of the clock lid. It clicked open, revealing the simple sun and moon that told the time, and the scratchings that were already cut into the back of the lid.

For my soulmate -i

“Oh, Impulse.” Cleo murmured softly. She ran her thumb across the letters, tracing each one like she knew Impulse would have wanted someone else to do.

It was so painfully Impulse. Despite some mistakes in his past, he was sweet and kind and loving. And a bit of a bastard, but that was besides the point- weren’t they all. The clock was a given- of course it had been Impulse to give Bdubs a clock. It wasn’t hard to see how much Impulse adored him. And the inscription… Cleo sighed. There was no way that Bdubs had seen it. She brushed away the metal dust that marred the letters slightly; Impulse had probably been in a hurry and hasn’t had time to brush them off yet. Bdubs wouldn’t have let it sit in his pocket like that if he’d known… or maybe he would have. Bdubs was surprisingly unreadable sometimes.

She closed the lid gently, and flipped the clock over onto its back. There she carved out her own message for Bdubs.

mamma’s favourite boy

She buffed her carving with a cloth that looked like it had come from Scar’s shirt, until the gold shined. It wasn’t really about who loved Bdubs more- there’s more then one way to love a person, and no one was adored the way Bdubs was. He would carry two peoples love with him today. Even if he didn’t know it.

[blueishspace]

Double Life Remixed p.16

*Beginning of the session, Impulse's pov*

You and Cleo are doing pretty well, you don't know how but it seems drama has avoided both of you somewhat.

More specifically Drama has been happening just out of range of view from you since the beginning of the session. Close enough to be seen, far enough to not be involved.

First came Bdubs and Etho searching for a horse while being extremely akward for some reason, a while later you saw Ren and Grian pass by with paper in the hands and very mischievous expressions, following that was a very smug BigB who was being chased by a very tired Martyn... And then Martyn came back again... and again.

...You wish Skizz was here, he would have loved the soulmate mechanic at the very least... Oh well, maybe in the future.

At one point Cleo started narrating the events, you joined in too... you didn't plan it at the start but the location of your base is pretty good considering your field of view is wide.

Then of course after a few seconds of nothing...

Solidaritygaming was blown up by a Creeper. Smallishbeans died.

Well, that was quick. Two pairs already at yellow and both because of creepers...ironic.

You turn to Cleo, they are working on... something, you aren't sure what but considering the dust on her probably something to do in the mine.

Impulse: You know, this is pretty entertaining.

Cleo: Way less angsty when It's other people having drama with eachother instead of you?

Impulse: Yeahhhh pretty much.

Cleo: You know, we could incite some drama of our own.

Impulse: Oh? Something in mind Cleo?

Cleo: Just saying. Don't think most of them trust eachother, it wouldn't take too much to... push it.

Impulse: Hmmm yeah! Like how your brain works!

Cleo: Thanks. Knew I'd picked the right one.

Impulse: Yeah- wait what?!? Do you actually take people's brains!? I tought that was a joke!

Cleo: Oh yeah. All the time. I love brains.

Impulse: ... Is this a joke?

Cleo: I wonder.

Impulse: ... Well, that idea was good. We'll be the uh...

Cleo: Gossip girls?

Impulse: But I'm not a girl.

Cleo: Not with that attitude.

Impulse: You know what, nevermind, Gossip girls works-

Suddenly a blonde man appears, you guess you were a bit too distracted to notice him coming.

Martyn: Hey guys-

Impulse: Hi Martyn.

Cleo: No, BigB Isn't here.

Martyn: Dammit, ugh I need to go! See you later!

Impulse: Bye Martyn.

Prev Next First

[life-winners-liveblog]

Some Losers playing Mafia

DL!Jimmy: Hello everyone! Today I will be your Host!

*DL Tango claps his hands in support*

DL!Jimmy: Heh thanks rancher... *Cough* As I waa saying today we'll be playing Mafia! I'll pass around and give everyone their secret role soon...but first introducing everyone.

DL!Tango: Oh uh sure! I'm Tango.

DL!Jimmy: Then we have flower valley!

*3rd Life Jimmy and Scott wave their hands*

DL!Jimmy: The Nosey Neighbors!

*Limited Life Pearl nods and waves, BigB seems to be distracted*

DL!Jimmy: The Mounders... Minus Mumbo.

SL!Joel: He was busy.

SL!Pearl: But that's fine right?

DL!Jimmy: Oh yeah... Because we have 3rd Life Joel here! ... For some reason?

3L!Joel: I was bored.

DL!Jimmy: Makes sense to me.

~~~~~~

Once everyone has their role.

~~~~~~

DL!Jimmy: Night falls on the town, all is quiet and you all fall asleep.

*everyone closes their eyes*

DL!Jimmy: Mafia, open your eyes and look at eachother.

*3rd Life Jimmy, DL Tango and SL Joel open their eyes and look at eachother*

DL!Jimmy: Who do you want to kill?

*after some tought they silently decide to point to BigB*

DL!Jimmy: Perfect, close your eyes.

*they do*

DL!Jimmy: Cupid, open your eyes.

*SL Bdubs opens his eyes*

DL!Jimmy: Choose who to link together.

*Bdubs smiles and points to 3rd Life Jimmy and 3L Joel*

DL!Jimmy: Good, close your eyes.

*he does*

DL!Jimmy: Doctor, open your eyes.

*LimL Pearl opens her eyes*

DL!Jimmy: Who do you want to save?

*she points to BigB*

DL!Jimmy: Interesting, you can close your eyes.

*she narrows her eyes and then closes them*

DL!Jimmy: Detective, open your eyes.

*BigB opens his eyes*

DL!Jimmy: Who do you want to investigate?

*he points to LimL Pearl, Jimmy does a thumbs up*

DL!Jimmy: Alright, go back to sleep.

~~~~~~

DL!Jimmy: It's the next day, the sun is shining and everyone is ready to start their day when... ... Nothing happens.

SL!Bdubs: No fricking way!

3L!Scott: Did the doctor really save the first target?

SL!Joel: That like never happens.

LimL!Pearl: That's insane luck!

3L!Joel: How are we supposed to find the murderers if no murder happened?

SL!Pearl: We don't have proof so our only chance to get Mafia out now is to magically guess based on their reactions to the news mate.

DL!Tango: I mean, 3rd Joel was the only one to look disappointed.

3L!Joel: What!? I was talking about a meta game perspective.

SL!Bdubs: Suspicious..

3L!Joel: No It's not!

3L!Jimmy: I also think that's sussy.

LimL!Pearl: Ugh.

3L!Scott: Jimmy, love, please never say that again.

SL!Pearl: So we are just nominating Joel?

SL!Bdubs: I don't know...

DL!Tango: I am, I'm sure.

3L!Joel: Guys it was a joke!

DL!Jimmy: All in favour of executing Joel raise your hand.

*Tango, then SL Pearl and Bdubs, Scott then Jinmy and then SL Joel*

DL!Jimmy: Are there any other nominations?

3L!Joel: I nominate Tango!

DL!Jimmy: All in favour of executing Tango?

*Only Joel and Bigb raise their hands*

DL!Jimmy: Joel is officially eliminated from the game-

3L!Joel: Fuck you guys.

3L!Jimmy: And I'm not out first round! Woo!

DL!Jimmy: ... When suddenly Jimmy falls to the floor dead.

*Tangos and SL Joels expressions rapidly change*

3L!Jimmy: What? Cupid linked us??? That's...uggghh

DL!Jimmy: Night falls and the survivors fall asleep.

~~~~~~

DL!Jimmy: Mafia? Ready to choose a victim?

*Tango and Joel open their eyes and point at LimL!Pearl before closing their eyes again*

DL!Jimmy: Next, Cupid?

*Bdubs open his eyes and points at Scott and Joel*

DL!Jimmy: Doctor?

*LimL!Pearl thinks and then points to BigB, again*

DL!Jimmy: Detective?

*BigB points at Bdubs and gets a thumbs up*

~~~~~~

DL!Jimmy: Another beautiful day approaches, the birds are singing, flowers are blooming-

3L!Scott: Nice.

DL!Jimmy: When you find a corpse floating in the river ... It's Limited Life Pearl.

LimL!Pearl: Noo!

LimL!BigB: Damn!

DL!Jimmy: So, how would you say you died?

LimL!Pearl: Well I was talking a midnight stroll when suddenly... wam! Someone came from the bushes and attacked me!

LimL!BigB: ... That....

SL!Joel: That just sounds like an encounter with a wild animal? We found the truth, there was no murder, just a dire bear.

DL!Jimmy: You have 5 minutes to discuss from...now!

SL!Pearl: Do we have any idea?

SL!Bdubs: I don't fricking know!

3L!Scott: Do we know if we managed to get a Mafia out last turn?

Liml!BigB: No way to know for certain

DL!Tango: Dang.

SL!Joel: Then what?

SL!Pearl: Tango was the one to accuse 3rd Life Joel, I don't know hiw much I trust him.

SL!Bdubs: Wait that's true!

DL!Tango: What if It's you Pearl? Lyificating like a nastermind?

SL!Pearl: Me?

SL!Bdubs: Yeah freaking right, she would never!

DL!Tango: Well I'm nominating Pearl then.

SL!Pearl: And I'll nominate you back then.

3L!Scott: I'm nominating Joel.

SL!Joel: What!?

SL!Pearl: ... Why?

3L!Scott: Call it a gut feeling.

DL!Jimmy: So we have our nominations! Who votes for Joel?

*only Scott*

DL!Jimmy: Pearl?

*Tango and Joel.

DL!Jimmy: Tango?

*BigB, Pearl and Bdubs*

DL!Jimmy: Tango has been chosen, any other nominations? ... No?... Then Tango is officially executed and out of the game.

DL!Tango: I hate this.

DL!Jimmy: Come on! You did the best you could.. sit here!

*Tango sits next to Jimmy as everyone closes their eyes again*

~~~~~~

DL!Jimmy: Mafia choose your victim.

*SLJoel opens his eyes and points at BigB before closing his eyes*

DL!Jimmy: Since the new linked couple is still alive Cupid will sit this night out, Doctor?

*nothing happens for a while*

DL!Jimmy: Perfect, Detective?

*BigB points at Joel and gets a thumbsdown*

~~~~~~

DL!Jimmy: Another day begins, the sun rising in the distance when you hear a scream!

3L!Scott: No!

DL!Jimmy: When you arrive It's already too late, BigB has been killed... How?

LimL!BigB: I'm going to say, attacked while visiting Pearls grave.

LimL!Pearl: Awwwwwww mate.

DL!Tango: Don't speak! You're dead!

LimL!Pearl: Well so are you!

3L!Scott: I still think It's Joel!

SL!Joel: Well I'm saying It's you!

SL!Bdubs: Uhhh-

SL!Joel: No, I'm nominating him.

SL!Bdubs: Wait-

3L!Scott: Right back at you!

SL!Bdubs: ...

SL!Pearl: It's like they haven't heard you.

Dl!Jimmy: So we have our nominations! Who votes for Joel.

*Scott*

DL!Jimmy: And Scott?

*Pearl, Joel and Bdubs*

DL!Jimmy: Other nominations? No? Then It's decided! Scott is out if the game... And soon Joel too dies...

SL!Joel: Another link double execution?!!

DL!Jimmy: Tango, SL Joel and other me where the Mafia, since all the members are dead the villagers win!

~~~~~~

3L!Scott: So, who was Cupid in the end?

SL!Bdubs: It was me.

SL!Joel/3L!Jimmy: You!

[firequeenofficial]

I mentioned in a post about Real Life my criteria for an "iconic" teamup in the life series. My one and only rule for this category is the teamup needs to be directly referenced and acknowledged or repeated either in a later season, or in an outside series/setting.

(I want to make it clear this is my own personal criteria - you can categorise them however you want, this is just how I think about it in my head)

My current (probably incomplete) list is, in no particular order:

Desert Duo - this one is obvious, they can't stay away from each other, were paired again in Double Life, and came dangerously close to teaming again in Secret Life.

Treebark - they're so obsessed with each other. Martyn helped Ren the entirety of Last Life, then sought him out again in Double Life.

Team TIES - thank you, MCC, for letting me add this to my list.

Team BEST - I have these as two individual iconic teamups, BE (because Ethubs, both by themselves and as Clockers subcategory) and ST (because Skizz and Tango have their every season thing going on).

Clockers - they honestly had quite a lot of the vibes from this before Limited Life, LimL just strengthened it. Then, in Secret Life, they picked up where they left off, and also referenced it at least once that I can think of in Hermitcraft. (Also, that one clip in I think Cleo's video where they played TCG and Bdubs stopped gloating after Cleo threatened to use her mom voice)

Flower Husbands - unfortunately, this pair does fit into my category, even if I don't like it, because they went for it again in Empires.

Ranchers - I don't even need to explain this one, but I will, because I never have and never will pass up an opportunity to talk about Ranchers. They cannot stay away from each other. Every time they're in each other's vicinity, they gravitate to each other, they flirt, they subconsciously mimic each other's body language, they call each other "My fellow Rancher".

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss - this is the teamup I mentioned in the post, saying they became iconic when they teamed up in Real Life.

Bad Boys - these three were iconic long before they teamed up in Limited Life, by virtue of being them. They are brothers in every universe, and they make it everyone else's and each other's problem.

Boat Boys - they're so obsessed fr.

Mean Gills - these idiots have fallen in love ten million times by now.

I'm debating whether I should add the Gossip Girls (Impulse and Bdubs) to this, purely for the fact that Impulse used a clock to symbolise a wedding ring in Grian's Guess the Build video.

The point is they're all so totally Not Normal about each other that sometimes you need to find a threshold for Not Normal, below which it falls back into Normal category just so we have done semblance of normalcy going on here.

[hmshermitcraft]

(Divine Poly Soup Group, Implied Grian x Scar x Mumbo)

When Gem (Goddess of Nature) and Impulse (God of Wealth) started dating Pearl (Goddess of the Moon), they kinda expected her older brother Grian to pull them aside for a chat.

What they did not expect is Grian somehow killing them both with the sun. When they respawned, he told them if either one broke Pearl’s heart they’d get an early visit from Cleo (Goddess of Death).

In Grian’s defense, Pearl did something similar with Scar and Mumbo when they first started dating.

Bonus dialogue:

“How did we get killed by the sun?? We’re gods!”

“Yeah, so is Grian. And he’s the sun god, so-”

“Wait really? I thought it was Bdubs.”

“Nope! Bdubs is sleep, remember?”

The thing is, Gem would say she's pretty good friends with Cleo as well. So she guesses it's mutually assured destruction. Not that they have any intention of hurting Pearl, they're a very healthy relationship thank you! Born over a love of good soup.

Pearl found the whole thing hilarious, with an empathetic pat on Impulse's shoulder and giggled, "That's Gri for you." So it's good to know, at least, that it isn't them specifically he has a problem with.

[miraluscinia]

do you think you could make a list of which hero is who? sorry it’s just confusing

Yknow, i was planning on revealing them one at a time, but there's 18 characters and i feel like it's gonna take me some time to even begin drawing the next person, so why not reveal it now?

Here's a list of who is who, as well as a bit of info (this is a long one so brace yourselves);

The Architect = Grian

- as already revealed, Grian's power is psychokinesis (which is closely related to, but is not telekinesis). The first part of his poem, "Mind over matter", reveals this but there's more to it than that. His wings are also thought to be part of his powers, but whether or not that's true will be revealed in the actual story i'll write. The character introduction hinted at some things, but I'm not gonna point them out until much later.

(Since I haven't properly introduced the rest of the cast yet, I'll avoid mentioning their powers or any other info. You guys will just have to either wait for their introductions, or take a wild guess. I'll just give you guys some behind the scene of each alias and poem)

Vex = Scar

- I honestly had a hard time coming up with the alias for Scar. Eventually, I settled for Vex because some fans headcanon Scar as a vex hybrid, also because the name means "to bring trouble" or "to annoy by petty provocations", which is close to what I plan for Scar in this AU. Also, his poem "A silver tongue, a voice that sways" not only gives a nod to how he usually swindles people in the life series but it also hints at what his power is.

The Mechanic = Mumbo

- I mean... i think it's kinda obvious the person whose poem says "Where machines are present, his genius stands" is gonna be Mumbo. I think i could've thought of a better alias for Mumbo, but I just couldn't at the time, and I guess this has already stuck so... yeah, Mechanic it is for Mumbo.

Trapline = Impulse

- I haven't really watched Impulse that much so I didn't really know what power to give him. But then I watched one of his build and seek videos and I learned that he's good at redstone, so I decided to make his power have something to do with machines as well. And since we already have Mumbo as the tech guy, I just decided to have Impulse be the trap guy. Hence his poem, "A snare unseen, a trap well laid". The alias Trapline just sounded cool to me.

Scarlet Moon = Pearl

- I mean... i think the alias already gives it away. Anyways, Pearl's alias and power was one of the ones that came easy to me. I wanted her whole theme to still be tied to the moon so... Scarlet Moon it is. As for her powers, the first line of her poem, "Gravity bows to her lunar might", kinda gives it away.

Timekeeper = Bdubs

- I don't know much about Bdubs as well, nor have I watched any of his POV (i found the life series through martyn so i mainly watch his pov), but i've seen fanfics and fanart alike of him having a clock and his moss cloak thingy, so i decided to base his power on that. So the first line of his poem, "Time bends where flowers bloom", gives a nod to that, as well as hint at his powers. Bdubs' powers is one of the things I'm very proud of. His character in this AU is also one of the more complex characters. As for his alias, the public only knows about one part of his powers so I thought, "what would people call someone with that power?", and I came up with Timekeeper.

Blaze = Tango

- I actually feel bad for giving Tango a very basic alias, but i really can't think of anything else. I only really got interested in Tango during Double Life, cuz him with Jimmy is really wholesome. I noticed that fanon is that Tango is a blaze hybrid so I just took that and ran. I also loved his reaction in Double Life to the ranch burning, so the last part of his poem, "Heat and flame, in fury's daze", gives a nod to that as well as his powers. Honestly, most of the characters' poems hint at both their powers and something that reminds me of them.

Phantom = Etho

- Honestly, i don't really remember my exact thought process on why I chose Etho's alias and power to be what they are. I think it was literally because his skin is a character from Naruto, and so i guess I just thought, "Naruto... ninja... invisible, yes, yes." And i said i won't mention the characters' powers but actually, the first line of Etho's poem, "Invisible steps, shadows in tow", already gave it away. And there's more to his powers than that anyways, so I guess it's fine.

Maestro = Ren

- Ren's alias gave me a hard time cuz I couldn't think of something that sounds dramatic enough. I ended up going with Maestro since the word means "a master usually in an art", and since Ren gives such a theater kid vibe, I went with it. Now, I had a bit of trouble with his power, mainly because it's similar to another character's, but I evntually found a way to differentiate the two so it's all good now. I just love Ren and Martyn's dynamic in 3rd Life, and in any interaction they have honestly. Ren's entire poem gives a nod to his dramatic theater kid vibe, but the line "Illusions dance, a show so grand" hints at what I plan for his whole character to be in the AU. And it also parallels the other character with similar powers to Ren.

Fortress = Cleo

- Cleo was one of the harder persons to think of a power and alias for. So i went and looked through videos and fanfics alike to see what i can pick up, and I noticed that in most fanfics I read, Cleo is often depicted as a strong and reliable person, and I can get that vibe in the videos I've seen of them. What really solidified my decision for her power, though, is that one moment in Double Life where she tells Martyn that they're both survivors, and that really stuck to me. As for the alias, the word fortress already gives the impression of strong and formidable, so I went with that. It felt like a weird alias the first few times, but it eventually grew on me, and now I kinda like it. The first line of their poem, "Strong as stone, yet swift to mend", also hints at another part of their power.

Mirage = Martyn

- I love his and Ren's theater kids vibe, and it's one of the reasons why I made their powers to be so similar. The reason for Martyn's power and alias is mostly because he's well known for always sneaking around without being seen most of the time, and being able to get away unseen as well. It's also that one line from Skizz during Secret Life that really cemented the power and alias. Skizz was complementing Martyn's ability to sneak around unnoticed and commented, "I'm honestly only 50% certain that you're standing in front of me." Also, aside from the powers, Ren and Martyn's poems are also very similar in the first part. Whereas Ren's is "Illusions dance", Martyn's first line, "Illusions twist, reality bends", not only hints at what differentiates his powers from Ren, but also references how Martyn likes to gaslight people, especially during Secret Life.

Sanguine = Skizz

- Skizz's alias and power are ones I'm most proud of. Every character's powers mostly have more than one part to it, and Skizz's is one i really like. One part of his power, I got inspiration from a fanfic I read in AO3 called "Wake the Dead" by Kiki_the_kiwi. The other part, i got inspiration from the way I noticed Skizz usually becomes in the life series (which martyn also pointed out during his interview in the Imp & Skizz Podcast). The first line of Skizz's poem, "Blood and battle, strength reborn", references this. As for his alias, it took me a long time to pick. I wanted something that suited his power and his character, and I eventually ended up on Sanguine. While it's not the most cool-sounding name, its meaning actually suits Skizz's character in this AU. Sanguine has two meanings, the first being "someone who is cheery" and the other being "blood" or "bloodthirsty", so... you can probably guess why I chose this alias for Skizz, and it also suits the way his power works.

Fenrir = Joel

- Actually, Joel was the hardest to think of a power for because his chaotic nature in the life series doesn't really leave me with a solid idea. Eventually, I just stuck to his 3rd Life vibe, which involves wolves. Hence the alias Fenrir, which is some sort of wolf Norse god, I'm not really sure, I didn’t research it that much (i also just really like the name). As for his powers, the same with every other character's powers in this AU, there's more to it than the surface level. The last part of his poem, "Strength in the pack, yet prone to fall", hints at this.

Starstrike = Scott

- For Scott, i mostly stuck to the most common winner symbol for him, which is stars. His powers isn't as complicated as the others, and the last part of his poem, "A shield, a blade, a step so sure", hints at what he can do with his powers. As for his alias, I guess it just sounded cool to me. I wanted something that relates to his star theme, but also gives the impression of someone not to be messed with, so I went with Starstrike.

The Canary = Jimmy

- Honestly, do I even have to explain? Lol! Jimmy's powers also got inspiration from the same fic I got for Skizz, which is "Wake the Dead" by Kiki_the_kiwi on AO3 (you should really check it out). And his poem, "The first to fall when danger is near", also references his Canary Curse.

Quake = BigB

- i honestly didn't know much about BigB as well, but from what I remember of him, mostly in 3rd and Secret Life, he was mostly mining/digging underground while stuff happens on the surface. His poem, "A rumble deep, the earth obeys", kinda also hints at this, as well as reminds me of his backrooms shtick in Secret Life.

Flora = Gem

- I kinda feel bad, but I honestly gave up with Gem, since I know less about her than others members since she's still a bit new to the life series, and I didn't really watch any of her stuff before. But the vibe I got from her is that she's sweet, but also kinda dangerous. So i thought, the alias Flora sounds sweet, but since it refers to plants and the like, it could also mean danger since there are dangerous plants. Her powers, though, isn't what you would initially think. Like I said, there's more to the characters' powers than what is on the surface level. And Gem's poem, "Nature's strength in her entwines", not only hints at another part of her powers, but also references where I got the inspiration for her powers, which is a certain character from the anime/manga called "Bungou Stray Dogs".

Nightshade = Lizzie

- Lizzie's power was one of the easiest to think of, but of course, there's more to her powers. The name Nightshade is something I really like, and with it being a beautiful plant usually associated with darkness and mystery, I thought that it suits Lizzie well, especially in the AU. Her poem, "In darkness she dwells with deadly grace", further insinuates this.

Aaaand, that's all of them! Sorry for the long post, but I also wanted to share my thought process in picking the alias for each character. And while I don't want to reveal too much of their powers until they get properly introduced, i figured it's fine to touch on the behind the scenes of it for a bit.

What do you guys think? Also, for the anon who asked, I hope this clears things up! :)

[alienssstufff]

I wouldn't consider myself a analysist, because I'm not big brained nor have good enough memory for that; but like (and this may be my bias speaking) double life changed life!Pearl so much in the way it just amplified her already existing traits. She's very sheep in a wolf's clothing to me especially after dl made her even more disenchanted with the inherent isolation of later life sessions (what w/ being forced into that by day one of dl, immediately distrusted at a level only just barely below reds themselves). Like I could be getting the characterazation completely wrong, as I don't remember the seasons very well, but Pearl's playstyle very much feels like she's just capitalizing on her "hidden" chaos, being the kindest ally but also down to be unhinged when the moment calls for it, losing that kindness so fast in double life from being rejected and never getting it back nearly as strong as before. I feel like life!Pearl has gotten so use to the games and Watcher schennagins at this point that she just leans hard into the premise and her innate chaos <2 (can you tell she's my favourite character lol /silly)

Post-DL!Pearl I love her especially! Do I think she’s even more chaotic than she was in DL? No but for sure DL changed her like Whwhwh permanently she’s my fave winner bc of how prevalent that development is, to make those choices on her terms - not bc the game tells her to. Her POVs are very refreshing bc -in compare to everyone else- she’s so relaxed (bc she’s won before), and she makes it clear she’s not here to win (she already has)- she wants to have fun and uplift her friends :]

Her around ppl that aren’t her teammates is… a wildcard- but the trust in her allies is unshakeable. she reminds me of a mentor figure to them she wants what’s best for the team…. I don’t like the way ppl have been undermining the Mounders this season bc they aren’t attached at the hip 24/7, to Pearl they mean a lot to her SHE chose them and vice versa. so much that they’ll mutually go do things behind the other’s back that would help them survive in the long run and she trusts them with her LIFE. This especially between Pearl and Bdubs and their allyship makes me so delirious evrrytime she brings him up I’m getting Nosy Neighbours deja vu :[

“They’re Mounders (Joel and Bdubs), they would never betray me like that.” -Pearl ep6

“You can’t just TAKE him (Bdubs), he’s a Mounder.” -Pearl ep5 in the building competition

[the whole thing with Joel and Bdubs wasting their yellow-life guesses for Pearl ep6]

“I’m not here to win. I here for Bdubs to win.” -Pearl ep6

“I can’t. I can’t… she’s (Pearl) my biggest cheerleader. I can’t do that do her.” -Bdubs ep6

That part in SL Session 6 when Pearl, her dogs, and Bdubs hid in the skeleton farm away from the Wither/Warden fight, and when a red name (Martyn) found them- I wonder if she was ever scared the game would take Bdubs too like it did to BigB last season… I mean it already took Mumbo.

[fountainpenguin]

Etho Session 3 Liveblog:

slkdfjklsdjfsl 18 seconds in and I'm already losing it.

Etho: "I'm here with Cleo! :) Cleo's looking at the sky... because Cleo likes the sky. So blue, so pretty. She might've got hit by a car and now her neck is broken."

Etho bemoaning the lack of water, then turning around like "Oh, here it is. I'll just make an infinite source block."

Etho following Bdubs around and dunking water on him.

Bdubs: "??? Why are you trying to wash me??"

This is especially funny in the context of Bdubs in Session 2 accidentally relapsing into the roleplay of being Cleo and Etho's kid before Cleo reminded him that was a different series slkdjf.

sldkfj Bdubs peering out the window at the needy boys like "Oh, that's sweet, they've got BigB... I really wanted them to find another."

?? Etho is my 3rd POV. I've seen Tango and Grian so far and this is my first close-up on Impulse. What's that man doing with his skin? Did he kintsuji his face?

slkdjf Etho getting three hearts from the Heart Foundation. His first two decisions are to run to Cleo and tell them they need to bring their enchanting table over to share, then to give Cleo his heart.

Smart move by Etho to approach Pearl and offer to help her when his job is to attempt sabotage.

Me watching Martyn accuse Pearl, having already seen Tango's POV and knowing they did a lot of backpedaling and back and forth and checking the footage to see if Martyn had already used his one accusation of the session, and knowing the result was that they do let Martyn fail Tango: "Uh-oh."

Me watching Jimmy do something similar with Mumbo because I'm pretty sure he also made an attempt to call Tango out: "Uh-oh."

All fun and games in the end, though. Gotta be human and make mistakes; keeps you humble.

Oh now I'm putting together the pieces, Etho's going to confess his love to Joel in the end in an attempt to make people believe he has the same task as Scott... Although he did re-roll his "make someone believe you have the same" task, so hmm...

[Watching a few more minutes] - Gotcha, Grian cut the part out of his video where he told Etho to go say "I love you" to someone.

slksjdf so let me get this straight, Etho was given the job of saying "I love you" to someone with the attempt to make them say it back, knowing full well that Scott successfully got Cleo to say "I love you" back to him, and Etho STILL chooses to pursue Joel and say "I love you" to him instead of Cleo, his basing partner this season. Incredible. No notes. Long live the Boat Boy goofballs.

?? Again Jimmy accuses Etho of a task, so maybe Yellows are just allowed to guess until they get it right? In which case both Martyn and Jimmy are in the clear. I may have misunderstood the rules; will have to watch more POVs to be sure.

Etho's so good at throwing people off his trail with false tasks. He spends the session dumping water buckets on people and building walls to separate people for no reason.

Mumbo calls him "washed up" and Etho immediately dumps the water bucket on himself slkdjf. GG.

[askthehcc]

To the Hcc I was wondering who all is a part of the LGBT+ community?

Cleo: I’m pan and non-binary, pretty sure Bdubs is aromantic, but he wouldn’t know the word for it.

Impulse: I’m also aro and I’m pretty sure Mumbo is ace.

Cleo: False is Bi, but isn’t really into relationships, at least for now.

Impulse: Again, I’m not certain, but I think Tango might be grey-romantic.

Cleo: That’s a point, I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen him show interest in anyone…

Impulse: Me neither, which is why I think he might be Grey.

Cleo: but not totally Aro?

Impulse: … no comment?

Impulse: I’m pretty sure he’s also *somewhere* on the ace spectrum.

Cleo: Don’t just brush over that, Impulse!

Impulse: Let’s see who else… Oh, Zed wouldn’t care what pronouns you use, but he’s not really ever labelled himself, so I guess I’d just go with vaguely gender queer for him… Maybe even agender?

Cleo: What do you know about Tango, Impulse?

Impulse: Anyway, I really should be getting back on shift.

Cleo: Oh my god, does Tango have a crush?

Cleo: Impulse, come back and talk to me!

---

Scar: You know, I’ve never really thought about it? I suppose I’d consider myself Pan?

Tango: Hesitation?

Scar: [shrugs]

Scar: I’ve never really been that interested in anyone.

Tango: Apart from that girl in college. Remember in second year?

Scar: [sighs] Yeah… Bonita.

Tango: She didn’t speak English, dude.

Scar: But you did a great job at translating from Blaze!

Tango: And then you asked me to go on a date with you and she slapped you!

Scar: It was your fault for mistranslating! I meant for you to come with us on a date and translating!

Tango: Scar, my man, you asked her for a three–

Scar: I meant as a date with you translating!

—-

Zedaph: You knew exactly what he meant, didn’t you?

Tango: Yeah, of course. I’m fluent in Blaze and Scar. I just didn’t want to spend my entire second year translating for them.

Zedaph: Have I mentioned how much I love you?

Tango: Uh, yeah dude. We had that whole confusion in second year, remem–

Zedaph: I meant platonically!

---

Joel: I'm gluten free.

Lizzie: That's not what the G stands for, Joel.

Scott: Yeah, you're not queer because you can't process gluten, Joel.

Joel: Yeah and I'm not proud about it either.

Joel: Bloody hate stupid wheat!

---

Lizzie: [Looks around]

Lizzie: Keep this between us, yeah?

Lizzie: Grian came out to me about ten years ago, after we tried kissing with each other when we were like, fourteen.

Lizzie: He kissed me and pulled such a face afterwards and I was so offended, so obviously I kicked right off about it, of course, and then he said that it's had nothing to do with me.

Lizzie: And that's when he told me that he was actually gay.

Lizzie: He seemed really embarrassed about it and I don't think he's ever openly spoke about it since. I don't even know if he's mentioned it to Jimmy.

Lizzie: But I did have this little bracelet making phase and I didn't want him to make him a rainbow bracelet cause it felt too obvious, so I looked up the flag for gay men and made him a blue and white one instead.

Lizzie: He wore it for a good couple years after, too.

Lizzie: To be honest, Scott might know, cause he's pretty brushed up on these things, so he probably recognised it.

Lizzie: But yeah, he won't talk about it and I'm not sure how proud he is exactly, but... you know what?

Lizzie: I'm proud of him.

[disenchanteds]

okay now ep 2

the wild card is literally they are always starving but they cannot eat normal food they have to chomp on stones and dirt and grass and wood and everything that isnt usually food and each one gives them a different effect (including poison) and they have to figure out which foods actually feed them AND THEN it gets randomised every like hour or so? (they have 3 hour recording sessions so idk exact timing so) and so they start from square one again and there was A Lot Of Death

now so every life series cows are important for food u see but then thats where all the mayhem and stealing happens and impulse goes over to gem and joel to accuse them of stealing his team's cows when they didnt and it was actually martyn but none of them know that and so the next time scott cleo pearl and impy comes over gem says "i dont like you impulse" AND THEN SHE TURNS AROUND AND SAYS TO PEARL "and i dont LOVE you because you betrayed me last season" and just the pure fact that gem said love instead of like for pearl??!? the fact that she just rounded on pearl like that even though pearl has done nothing??? *cries in despair* and now we have gempearl divorce arc

TO MAKE THINGS WORSE bdubs found out that cobblestone wall causes poison and gives it to pealr and asks her to eat it but pearl already knows what it does so bdubs asks her to give it to someone else and she tries to give it to gem but gem refused and did not want to trust her even when pearl said she would eat it with her and then pearl eventually gives up and walks away while saying "i should try this on someone else but everyone else is my ally" BUT GEM OVERHEARD IT and turns to scott who was just standing there and said "wHy would she say that SHES INSANE" even though from pearl's pov u can basically tell that pearl believed that with gem she wouldnt take the aftermath too hard and would laugh about it with pearl and then forgive her while others might not but GEM TOOK IT THE WRONG WAY AND UGHHHH

and then heres more stuff they've said on livestreams

basically gem has been playing through subnautica and there was this one scene where a person breaks up with someone else and says the line "i would like to reduce our hours together. to zero" and gem basically reacts to it by saying "wow i've never heard a breakup line so cold before...reduce our hours together to zero. i should try that line on pearl" head in hands WHY gem WHYYY

and then pearl on her stream said "why are people saying i betrayed gem when she was actively trying to kill my mounders (her alliance team) the whole time and i actually allied with scar for the last episode and never had any actual alliance with gem so really she betrayed me first" and guess what SHES RIGHT. i really need to lock them in a closet and have them talk it out i swear. and during the secret life finale even, pearl literally said to gem "lets sword it out gem lets sword it out" when pearl couldve killed gem with a bow easily and pearl is also better with an axe and has lost to gem multiple times with a sword but idt gem heard it and scar and gem were already battling it out so now we have gempearl divorce. i am both so enthralled but also in pain. save them please

there is actually so much more that happened in this ep but i'll prob talk about it tomorrow together with ep 3 because im sleepy eepy and i have to watch ep 3 that just came out too

OKAY OKAY TOXIC YURI TIME OKAY. gem NO DON'T DIVORCE HER but also I am SO here for it they should get more toxic but also PLEASE DON'T CAN YOU BE HAPPY PLEASE but also YESSSS TOXIC YURI

[wireman-au]

SWAP COMPLETE.

Your name is Bdubs. You are currently sitting on a bench on the street in your coworker's neighborhood. About a block down the road, there's a bar you've personally decided must at least be a little evil. On either side of you, your coworkers are mother henning you. It's unnecessary. They both know you've done this song and dance before.

They both hate you've done this song and dance before.

Whatever. Two more years and you're done with your contractual obligations, and you'll have enough hazard pay that you and Etho and Cleo can all go retire to like, you don't know, a town outside a ski resort in Colorado or something. Live where all them rich, fancy celebrities live. Or, well, maybe not that, but retire to the country and you can finally actually use that architecture degree you sold your soul for. Maybe.

Anyway, none of that matters that much, given that, at the moment, you're still reeling from both having briefly been someone else (what?) and also no longer having a migraine (this should be fine but it's weirder than you thought it would be).

"I'm going to do it. I'm going to kill a general of the United States Army," mutters Cleo. "I'm actually going to do it."

"Chill out!" you shout, irritated.

"You chill out! I just watched you nearly collapse for no reason but the thing they put in your neck!"

"Yeah, well, it's supposed to help me be better, isn't it? Wouldn't'a done it if there weren't upsides."

"Oh, I can name a few reasons they would--"

"Wouldn't'a sent me out on a mission if there weren't upsides, or at least, few enough downsides to make it worth it," you clarify. Cleo shuts her mouth and looks away. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

You take stock of everything that's happened since you left base two days ago:

You've been dizzy.

You've been nauseous.

You've been having trouble sleeping--weird, because you could fall asleep on a bed of nails directly in front of stadium lights, but there you are.

You've been getting migraines.

You've been--weird. You don't know how to put it. You've been weird. Cleo knows it. You know it. You're pretty sure in the like, three hours worth of talking you've done to Etho today, he knows it.

There's been something scratching at the back of your head, like it's trying to get in.

It's stopped. You don’t think that’s because it’s gone. You suspect it’s because it won.

You have to admit Cleo has a point. You aren't going to say anything, though. She's already mad enough she might commit a federal crime and get you both disappeared for, you aren't sure, threatening the integrity of classified military experiments? Like, you're not sure you own the thing they implanted in you, which is--

Which is--

Focus. It doesn't matter for today. For right now. As long as you stop Cleo from committing a murder, you're probably all good.

"Uhh, guys, you two... okay?" Etho asks.

"Peachy," you say. "Don't even have a headache anymore."

"I hate that they do this to you," Cleo says.

"Yeah, uh, count me in. Towards. The hating things," Etho says awkwardly. God, you love that man. No one else could declare his loyalty so badly. "So I guess you're allergic to alcohol now or something?"

"What? No, that can't be it," you say. "I refuse. If I don't get a beer after this I'm suing."

Cleo huffs. "Well, if I have to perform CPR because you try to drink a beer, that's not my fault."

"Oh, screw you."

A shudder runs through your skull. It rings like a bell. You stick out your tongue and don't say anything yet; you'll put it down in the stupid diary later.

[CONNECTION GRANTED.]

Besides, the sooner you get your current job done, the sooner you can go home and ignore all of this.

[crowza]

Hermitcraft cooking tier-list

as compiled by @mawofthemagnetar and I with further explanations below the line

Great Food, Totally Safe

This cook will make sure your food is safe and tasty no matter your species! Pretty self-explanatory.

VintageBeef - All butchers are great cooks ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Renthedog - Great at grilling, even if he generally prefers meat on the rare side. His steak tartar is to die for.

Impulse - While his area of interest is more centered around candy, he can make you a decent dinner.

EvilXisuma - He learned how to cook out of spite. Major stress-baker vibes.

Iskall, PearlescentMoon, GeminiTay, Welsknight - These guys are all functional adults. They can cook.

Great Food, but Watch Out

This cook will make you a wonderfully tasting dish. However, it might not be harmless. Eat at your own risk.

ZombieCleo - Your meal will be meticulously prepared with skill, love, and heart (often literally). Its a shame the only people fully capable of appreciating her hard work are fellow members of the undead.

JoeHills - The food will be either great or a biohazard. Its anyone's guess which one it'll be this time. That's the Joe Hills Difference.

CubFan and GTWS - While the food will be excellent, the Vex have odd rules surrounding food. Make sure you have a lawyer present.

StressMonster - She may be a great baker, however those skills do not necessarily transfer. Compliment her pastry, steer clear of her casserole.

Mediocre in all contexts

Not good, nor hazardous. The plain white toast bread of cooks.

TFC, xBCrafted, Etho - Bachelor pad people with bachelor diets. Can make a store-bought mac-n-cheese.

Xisuma, FalseSymmetry, Hypnotizd - They just eat MRE's. Can cook an egg if need be.

The food will be Bad

Self-explanatory. You will not leave the table feeling good about yourself.

MumboJumbo - The man is incapable of handling the pressure of cooking for another person. The end product is not worth the emotional toll.

Grian - Under not circumstance should this man be given access to an oven.

Zedaph - His food is not contaminated thanks to his proper PPE usage. That is the highest compliment anyone could give.

That is a Biohazard, Do Not Eat

Just don't.

Keralis - oh you know, (read EHK series for context)

DocM77 - Despite being Ren's grilling buddy, he will put redstone on the food and forget to tell you about that. Do not eat.

TangoTek - Believes that blaze powder is an appropriate spice to use. Do not eat.

Bdubs - This man will eat things out of the garbage. Unless you can guarantee the ingredient's freshness - Do not eat.

iJevin - He isn't fully in on what is appropriate to feed humans. Preparing and cooking food seems like a waste of time. Absorbing it whole is much more efficient. Do not eat.