#i love having autism its like a superpower

[carefulkid]

I Can't Put My Frylock on It...

[skreebs]

Thinking about the ableism toward Jouno in the BSD fandom and it genuinely pisses me off so badly I want to hit people. I’ll be perusing the tag and looking at stuff and then I’ll see some random pop ups for AO3 and get shit like this

Now I don’t 100% know the context of this screenshot, for all I know this fic could be about him before he lost his sight, but either way it got me thinking and thinking got me angry and being angry means i need to complain. Jouno is already pretty shit blind rep, I’ll be honest. He’s the basic stereotype of “blind character has super senses because they’re blind” but can we give blind people literally ANYTHING else??? jesus christ. I’m pissed how BSD writes his blindness so as per usual I had to attempt to fix all of that myself, but attempting to fix it and removing it entirely are NOT the same and one is VERY MUCH SO WORSE. Again, not talking about this fic specifically but other ones I’ve seen that do this, or those “Jouno if he could see” edits. Spoiler alert, blind people can open their eyes.

I dont know why BSD and every other piece of media is so adamant on not giving visually impaired and blind characters white canes and just giving them "super senses" to get around it. It’s incredibly stupid and abelist to portray stuff like this. Disabilities are not super powers and thank GOD they didnt make that his ability but they still gave him that aspect and I guess it can be excused with SOME lore stuff like maybe he got really good senses from his surgeries but it just sucks that it happened that way at all? And then they don't even touch on how horrible having incredibly hightened senses to the point you can HEAR blood would be?? can you imagine hearing everyone internal organs around you 24/7 EVERYDAY? No one talks about that at all. That would be so fucking overwhelming its genuinely insane. Jouno is such a dear character to me, but genuinely when I remember him in canon without any of my headcanon explinations it’s just really sad that all I can say about him as representation is "well.. it could be worse".

I know there’s going to be at least one person saying “theres good blind rep in other shows though!!” Yes! I know! I’m super glad about that! But ignoring the bad ones doesn’t help much. You need to point out the issues to get good results. Recently, and by recently I mean about 17 hours ago, I watched/listened to the first episode of Daredevil, once with audio descriptions, and then after I watched without AD and had captions. I’m super glad that things are more commonly getting AD—it’d be a bit pathetic if the show with a blind main character was not accessible to blind people—but even with Daredevil, Matt still falls a bit into this stereotype.

Don’t get me wrong, seeing a character with a white cane has me absolutely elated, but from the single episode I’ve seen and what I’ve heard, he apparently also has some sort of super senses, and I know in the first episode he can hear heartbeats. I think super senses as a power is fine, but it’s just the fact they always give it to the blind characters. I, myself, am not blind, nor am I really visually impaired, I just wear glasses. However, as someone with a special interest in disabilities and also as someone that is disabled in other ways, seeing disabled rep fall into stereotypes over and over just really bums me out sometimes.

I think Daredevil is great so far from this one episode, I’ll probably be looking at more of it, but that is definitely just one gripe I have with it. I think Charlie Cox putting a bunch of effort into the role with the method acting and talking to people in the blind community and just all of that is amazing, I love to see that in anything, it’s just urrghh that it’s so hard to find a blind character that doesn’t have some kind of insane superpower senses with things. It reminds me of when characters with autism are so frequently portrayed as geniuses or their autism is only acceptable if it helps the neurotypical cast with “gadgets” or something. I dunno. Hard to explain, it’s 11 at night and I’m tired. Just don’t be ableist in any fandom or in real life. I shouldn’t have to even point out why this shit is disgraceful.

[bruciemilf]

Please, please, PLEASE talk about Talia..... I love her and I want to know more about her.... tell me about Bi-han's Cringefail wife whom he loves.

GODDD I LOVE LOSER WOMEN. I love their Ken/Barbie dynamic. Very much " Bi-Han has a great day everyday (lie) but Talia only has a great day when Bi-Han looks at her"

Bi-Han, Tomas, and Kuai Liang try EVERYTHING to teach her how to fight, but she's a natural flop.

This golden retriever of a woman is such a klutz and gets her ass beat by baby Lin Kuei. She gets distracted by their little uniforms.

VERY MUCH MOM OF THE GROUP; MOM FRIEND. Johnny called her "mom" by accident once and Kenshi NEVER let's him live it down. I like to think she's his bestie.

When he looks at her he's reminded of the nice girls who let him sit with them at lunch because the boys didn't want to be seen with the "theatre nerd" and its just NICE.

Talia's superpower is making friends. Even BARAKA likes her. Liu Kang picking other champions or disciples? He goes to her like "What Are The Vibes " and she's like a bloodhound

She took care of Mileena and Kitana when they were babies; Mileena sometimes gets so sad she's taller than Talia now. Doesn't mean she won't ask for uppies. Also; Step-dad Bi-Han would be so goddam funny.

But I'm completely enamoured by the image of Bi-Han being so fiercely protective of her.

PTalia, to him, represents true strenght for loving people and the world despite having every reason not to. And there's something in him that will freeze the world before her spark is killed off.

Also; Talia not being able to fight yet protecting Bi-Han anyway? Very much a " Dw I'll protect you" (is 5'3) and "I know you will" (is 6'2) dynamic. God I love them.

Plus; Johnny being like " so what flavor of autism is she" and Bi-Han being confused as fuck. "What did you call her "

[happyk44]

hiiii happy!!!! how do you feel abt jason's adhd? in my opinion, the books didn't really do a job illustrating it. how do you think it would manifest and affect him? i'd love to hear your opinion ☺️ i love you!!! 💖💓💗

Personally, I think of Jason as being autistic versus having ADHD. We know through Frank that having ADHD and dyslexia (both of which Frank does not have) is not an exclusive requirement to being a demigod. On top of that, Rick’s use of ADHD is not… great. My sister has been diagnosed with ADHD since she was five – she is very much the inattentive subtype, and I think Rick’s use of ADHD as a superpower of hypervigilance does sort of exclude people who primarily experience inattentive symptoms.

But those kinds of symptoms are not easily rewritten as “benefits” (which. yeah. It’s a disability), so I get why he didn’t include it. I remember reading a while back that when the books were first published, rewriting ADHD as a superpower/benefit to kids who had it was a common narrative, so, like, okay, but also. It’s been two decades.

But anyway. Jason. Yes! In general:

He gets easily distracted by different tasks, but to other people it just looks like he’s multitasking

He forgets to take care of himself a lot, forgets to eat, shower, drink water, sleep, talk to people and be social, etc

Auditory processing issues. During long speeches he starts to zone out because the sound eventually merges into all the other background noise he’s trying to filter out (wind powers and wolf vigilance amplifies the sound of everything) so he often encourages people to just get to the point and be upfront, and gets frustrated when people won’t. Also can’t stand people who talk in monotone (which is ironic because I think Jason doesn’t inflect or shift his voice very much)

Leo definitely uses his voice in various tones during conversation, so while Jason is like “oh my god, please stop talking in circles I have no idea what you’re saying”, it’s a lot easier for him to listen to Leo’s rambling monologues because he doesn’t speak in one or two tones

If it doesn’t interest him, the conversation can start to blur together as well because he struggles to focus on what’s being said. Fortunately, just because of how CJ and New Rome are structured, most topics at hand are things he likes (ancient Rome, gods, politics, etc). Unfortunately, Jason doesn’t really have strong human connections and his position as the golden boy of Camp Jupiter, champion of Juno, son of Jupiter, etc, etc, etc distances him from a lot of people so casual topics, like video games or TV shows, rarely get brought up to him in the first place

The onslaught of sensory issues makes it hard for him to focus. He’s taught himself how to filter things out, but it’s a constant practice to do and gets very tiring

Object impermanence – if he can’t see it, it doesn’t exist. Luckily for him, he doesn’t own a lot of things, but for things he has to keep tucked away in a drawer (like clothing), he slaps labels onto the container/drawer. Everything else, like the couple of misc trinkets he owns, he keeps out and obvious

One of things he does to help it avoid blending into the background is using sharp colour contrasts. So if its important – like medication or something, he might use a bright yellow basket on top of a black dresser or whatever because the yellow stands out so sharply it’s hard for the basket to blend into the background and so he remembers to take his meds.

Another thing is moving location. So he might move the basket from one side the dresser to the other and back again every so often

He’s pretty good at maintaining habits and routine (autism), but also if something happens that throws off the routine it takes months to get back on track and it is the worst thing ever, it is grueling and he hates it. Habits and routine are not innate, they are a constant active conscious choice he makes every day

Making plans can be difficult, even in battle or on quests when strategy is key. He can get tripped up on the small details and overlook the larger picture, or be so focused on the larger picture, he doesn’t see the small details. Because people have been so reliant on him for strategy, he’s more or less managed to get away with looking competent, but it’s always a competition with himself to remain on task, instead of narrowing into something that doesn’t matter

People will often comment on how fast he can get things done but its literally that he gets things done fast because sometimes he waits too long to do the thing (procrastination) and now he’s got like five seconds to the deadline, OR he has a burst of focus and gets that thing done as fast as he can before the executive function dips

He does get bored easily, so he'll flit between task to task, but it’s really that he needs stimulation, needs to be doing something, and if he’s not doing something, he’s losing his mind, and because he lacks a core sense of identity, he flits from task to task to find something that interests him (but there’s so little that does because he does not know who he is and he’s just mimicking people and it’s not the same)

Emotional dysregulation

He gets lost in his own head a lot. Part of it is just standard dissociation, but the other part is that his brain is always on, everything is firing at all cylinders, there is no quiet, it’s just noise and reminding himself of things he needs to get done on repeat, 24/7, loud as can be and he can't turn it off or lower the volume. His brain is full of bees and they won't stop buzzing

As a result, he probably has pretty bad insomnia

I think he has a lot of trouble getting stuff started. Body doubling encourages him to get started on stuff, and he’s never not been surrounded by at least one other person, so when he starts living alone in Cabin One after The Lost Hero, he is so confused that he can’t seem to force himself to pick up his shirt off the ground. And it just stays on the ground for days. Until he runs out of clean underwear and has no choice but to pick it up to get laundry started

He doesn’t own enough stuff to be fully disorganized, but if he does, he’ll have the most organized areas in his room ever, and then his closet is a mess because “well I don’t go in there a lot”

I think he tries to keep a spreadsheet/list of items he owns that he doesn’t use very often, but he still has doubles of a few things. Also so many batteries. He’s constantly like “I don’t think I have enough batteries” and then he buys the batteries and comes back, goes to update the list on the back of the door and it’ll be like “you have batteries. Stop buying batteries. There are too many batteries” and then he throws the batteries in the box that’s overflowing with batteries and forgets they exist again, but then, when he does need the batteries, it takes him so long to find the box

He would self-medicate on coffee if he didn’t hate the taste. He also doesn’t like soda. Or chocolate. So, you know, RIP to him. He’s rawdogging life. At least Leo can inhale caffeine like his life depends on it

He has the waiting mode problem, where if he has something scheduled at a certain time, it doesn’t matter how much time he has until that thing, he just. Waits. For the thing. Like he could get so much done in that time, but he can’t. Again, body doubling has helped, but living alone makes it so much harder

Reward systems don’t work with him. He doesn’t get the same sense of satisfaction that a neurotypical would after getting a reward after task completion. So when he absolutely needs to get something done but his brain is like “nah we gotta sit here and stare at this wall for seven hours while dissociating”, he just ends up screaming at himself a lot

Jason’s probably in a burnout so intense that if he took a minute to rest, his body and mind would shutdown for like three years.

He forces himself to get things done and screams at himself the entire time, and it hurts in a way he doesn’t understand but he has to do these things because there’s no other choice and people are relying on him.

Since he’s been groomed for leadership since day one, he’s never really had a chance to breathe that the other kids would get, so even when he finally has the chance to rest, it’s like his mind knows how unsafe that would be because shutting down completely would never be safe for him (trauma!!) so he just refuses to rest, which involves a lot of him getting lost in his own head or hyper-focusing on something (like spreading recognition of minor and forgotten gods) instead of. You know. Breathing

I think a lot of his issues with ADHD become more present after TLH when the quest is over and he’s alone. CHB has structure, but its not as narrow as Camp Jupiter’s routine and structure, and Jason lives alone, operates his own schedule, doesn’t really have other people to remind him of things, etc, etc, so the sudden shift makes him start to spiral a bit in his fears of incompetence.

It’s not that he’s incompetent, he’s very competent, but his problems were never as evident because other people had his back as he had theirs. He’s kind of like people w/ undiagnosed ADHD or autism who leave their support systems for university and suddenly school and life is the most difficult thing in the world, when before it was a lot easier

Timeblindness does affect him a lot, especially when he's doing something he enjoys. He wears a watch everywhere. And has a lot of backup watches

A lot of these probably overlap with autism but like, lol, I do primarily view him as autistic.

[bytedykes]

What is ORV actually about? I assumed that it was like... A modern psychological thriller with a bit of queerbait, but now I'm seeing your posts and reblogs tagged ORV that are all kinda surreal and fantasy type stuff, I feel like I saw the word isekai a couple times? So what is ORV actually?

ok i have been sitting on this ask for a few days bc i. have no idea where to even begin trying to explain what orv is about

here's a post by tumblr user ot3 that does a better job of explaining orv than i ever could. below the cut is MY attempt at an orv summary

"what is orv actually about?" this is a wonderful question. i don't know. i did nothing but read this novel for 2 weeks straight and i could not for the life of me tell you what orv is "about"

the thing about this book is that if you're reading it, it makes perfect sense. the events are linear. there is a bunch of mindfucky bullshit BUT it all happens in a relatively straightforward way. i understand orv perfectly. but at gunpoint, could i put the events in chronological order? no. pull the trigger

ok. orv is about a salaryman named kim dokja who has the most uninteresting boring life in the world. this is a lie. he does nothing but go to his job he's about to get fired from, eat convenience store kimbap, and read webnovels. he reads a specific webnovel (twsa) that has been updating daily for 13 years straight. he has been reading it since he was 15 through his entire adult life

twsa is about the apocalypse, starring protagonist yoo joonghyuk. the day kim dokja reads the last chapter and eagerly awaits the epilogue to be published the apocalypse happens. exactly like in the webnovel. now armed with a .txt file of twsa and his autism superpowers he navigates the apocalypse trying to reach his ideal ending

orv, for lack of better term, does not take itself very seriously at times. frequently, even. at least half of the major plot points are comprised of complete bullshit. every few chapters i had to put the book down and go "no fucking WAY is this actually happening" but it was! it was happening every time! its hysterical!

orv is also extremely meta. every time you think "ok it cannot possibly get more meta, this is it, this is the peak" ur wrong. u are wrong every single time until the very end of the epilogue. it can ALWAYS get more meta. orv is 100% the most meta thing i have read in my life

on top of all this, pretty much anything you can think of has happened in orv. "orv is a book about everything" while an exaggeration, this is true. it really fucking is. it has everything in it. you know that poem by shel silverstein, "everything on it"? that's what reading orv is like

it tackles many serious topics (such as: loneliness, the desperate desire to connect with other people combined with the inability to allow yourself to be loved, finding the things that push you to keep surviving) and many topics that are. not that (such as: "what if a dumpling had a face how would that work", "what if gay people were insane and not even friends", "what if a guy was so autistic his brain started eating people", "what if a monkey was actually 4 monkeys" and more such things. wouldnt that be fucked up)

orv definitely. yeah. surreal and fantasy type stuff is a very appropriate descriptor. a modern psychological thriller is... also appropriate i suppose. "a bit of queerbait" is NOT appropriate because orv is built on queerbait but not in the sense of it being baiting. in the sense of it being canon but unsaid. like its not canon. but it is. its canon and it is constant. there is an archangel that ships said queerbait she is a proud yaoi supporter. this is a real thing i am not making up

on top of that insane queerbait. there is insane polycule bait as well. like i need you to understand that while its not "canon" in the traditional sense of the word it IS real and it IS on screen and it IS as explicit as it could actually be without it actually being, you know, explicit. it literally makes me feel insane

ISEKAI. RIGHT. im not really familiar with isekai as a genre so take this paragraph with a grain of salt but orv is more of a reverse isekai? the fantasy world comes TO the "real" world. however there are in fact multiple isekais-within-the-isekai later on. multiple types of them even

anyway orv is also heavily based on the theme of stories and like. god i hope you've read ot3's post because im sure they explained it better. its a very theme-heavy piece of media where the rules of the world aren't based on logic but based on how they can further the themes. its very intricately constructed and like

it will blow your mind. god. i dont even know what im saying anymore. its good is my point it is so fucking good. orv changed me. it is a very hopeful piece of media and i am sure that rereading it will devastate me even harder than it did the first time

TLDR: orv is an insane long book about literally everything and at least half of those things are complete bullshit but are incredibly integral to the plot. somehow. it is very worth reading and will change ur life forever

[i-dont-know-nor-care-go-away]

I think. Words like gaslight and lobotomy and neurospicy should never have even made it online at this point. (Hyperbole) One TikTok musician wrote a song. Titled Neurospicy and it's so. Bad.

Im gonna break down why the song is bad. This is for education. Also bc im a little piss baby and I love complaing. Do not go harass her.

Disclaimers:

I am just a Tumblr user.

My opinions are whay they are because :

I am self diagnosed autistic. I did years of research. Many autistic people said "you are definitely autistic" If I don't have autism, I know I am at least neurodivergent. I know a lot about Neurodivergency from loved experience, mine and my (diagnosed ) friends. I read a lot of discourse on disabilities.

I cannot find confirmation if the creator is claiming to be neurodivergent or has a doctor or self diagnosis. I hate this song so much I really don't care if she does to be honest. Don't harass her tho.

This song is very obviously using neurodivergency for slang as adhd and autism. I'll try to use the most accurate language because it's improtsnt that people with NPD BPD and Schizophrenia and other disorders and disabilities are recognized as neurodivergent. Just a reminder that its their word/space too

(

[Intro]

One, two, three, four

I might be a little spicy

A little bit neuro spicy

Isn't everyone a little bit spicy?

Spicy is better than bland

)

-Oh god. I don't want to be like "oh all these adhd people are just trying to be trendy" bc they aren't. But you either are neurodivergent or not. You can't be a little spicy. If you are questioning, do research. Don't write a song about it for clout?? Again idk if she is but still the phrasing makes me upset.

The second line is literally just "well isn't everyone a little Adhd?" Like. C'mon. That minimizes the struggle of being fucking disabled. And living with that disability. If everyone was a 'little disabled' then it would just be a human limitation not a disability?? That's like basic abelism 101.

Third line, one neurotype is not better than the other. Being neurodivergent means your brain works differently. If we start treating all autistic/adhd people like they are better bc they're cooler and smarter, most adhd/autistic people that have higher support needs will be even more left behind. It feels like those "not a disability a different ability " or "actually autism js a superpower" No. Stop. If your autism makes you smart, goof for you, but I'm not gonna let high and medium support needs people be pushed even father aside. It is ok to be disabled, and we need to accept that.

(

[Verse 2]

I have trouble with boundaries

A spicy little ginger man found me

He likes that I'm a little bit rowdy

He holds my sweaty hand

)

Line one, I don't like that she says she's "a little spicy" and then immediately goes to "I have trouble with boundaries." If you can't respect boundaries, that's on you. I understand that neurodivergent people sometimes can have issues with boundaries like forgetting them or something, but it isn't a part of being neurodivergent. It's part of being human. Neurodivergent people are capable of respecting boundaries. Even if neurodivergency makes it harder to remember or respect boundaries, that isn't a silly little hehe, thats part of a disability that needs either work or some accommodation. This line doesn't have pure abelism in it, but I don't like the implications of it at all.

Second line, this is me being a hater but I genuinely thought she was talking about ed sheeran there for a second. Or a ginger bread cookie man. The phrasing of that was so odd to me

(

Verse 3]

My brain and mouth don’t talk much

They don't usually sync up

So sometimes words I think of

Are louder and faster than I planned

)

Nothing bad with this I just really dislike the music

(

[Verse 4]

Einstein was a little spicy

Newton was a little spicy

Darwin, Edison, spicy

Imagine if they started a band

)

Stop conflating neurodivergency / Adhd + autism with being good at shit. It's not just something that makes you good at things. It is likely that they had some neurodivergency and we should celebrate the accomplishment of disabled people. But this paired with the "spicy is better than bland" line just isn't giving. I can feel the "autism js a superpower" energy. Again I'm bitching on internet for fun but still

(

[Outro]

It'd probably sound like

My doc says that I'm spicy

But even she's a little bit spicy

Isn't everyone a little bit spicy?

Spicy is better than bland (Two, three, four)

I might be a little spicy

A little bit neuro spicy

Isn't everyone a little bit spicy?

Spicy is better than bland (Wah, haha)

)

I promise you your doctor did not say you were "spicy" bc that's. Giving mal practice. The line just pisses me off bc it does. Thay isn't how any of this works.

Second line. Stop headcannoning people as neurodivergent. Not everyone js a little bit neurodivergent.

Last couple lines are just the chorus.

Even if the writer has autism or adhd I'm begging them to read one or two disabled theory books or at this point even some Tumblr posts. This creator has a pretty big platform and it's disappointing to see really basic abelist bullshit from someone who could easily find resources on this topic or hire/ask someone for a sensitivity read.

[haejjoon]

BARKBARK I LOVE TRANS HCS im not trans myself but when i see how happy they make my trans friends & my partner???? TOSSES THEM AROUND LIKE CANDY u get a trans hc! u get a trans hc! WE ALL GET TRANS HCS

also may i say. adhd/autistic phantoms ? good shit

also ur mention of how trans goro is more common than trans akiren makes me wanna pop off about infantilization in fandoms and how it ties into misogyny, trans-misogyny and nsfw content and its characterizations and just fjbvkfnb. im a social sciences major and i LOVE discussing infantilization in the context of sex and gender and disability i love that shit. anyway idk where i was going with this but tldr i love ur characterization of goro <3

OHHHHH ANON YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST STARTED.....

prefacing this by saying: i have adhd. although i haven't been able to be properly diagnosed (with the things hooked up to my head etc etc) thanks to america's stunning healthcare, i am like.. 99.999999% sure i have it. my therapist, who i used to see regularly, agrees that i probably have it.

NOW. i'm sure we all know that futaba sakura our favorite gremlin girl ever exhibits some clear symptoms of autism. i don't need to get into it because there's a million and one analyses out there about her behavior, but i will say that i both love/hate how atlus depicted her. on one hand i love that the group just.. accepts her for who she is, i love that they don't try to change her, i love that they don't fall into the "ooh you're so smart though so your disability MUST be a superpower!" trap, and that they mold around her to suit her, and not the other way around.

THAT BEING SAID.....

i have SUCH a bone to pick with how they decided to go about her 'healing' arc. the phantom thieves give her a week--a WEEK--to readjust to society. and yeah i guess that while you could argue that she's just had her trauma supernaturally lobotomized out of her, it doesn't change the fact that she's... still gone through it, you know? just because she learned to stop hating herself for things out of her control doesn't mean her social anxiety disappears in a snap. she turns out alright by the end but the extremely pushy nature of the thieves to get her out of her shell ALWAYS rubbed me wrong. taking things slow and one step at a time is wonderful, and i'm glad they decided to go about that approach instead of just throwing her to the beach like they originally wanted, but they still should have taken it... slower. one week is HARDLY enough.

also, i fucking hate how they constantly talk about her while she's in the same room as them, as if she can't hear what they're saying. they said things like, "oh she's pretty normal, huh" and "she can hold a conversation just fine!" and while their behavior isn't one completely out of the ordinary for dumb teenagers to exhibit, it still really, really pisses me off that they do it wiht her in the SAME ROOM. im sure it wasn't meant to come off this way, but i always got the feeling that they attributed her 'quirkiness' to her not understanding how groups worked at all, which is why they were so open about discussing HER MENTAL HEALTH without including her in the conversation.

okay i'm done with futaba--quick hcs im throwing out there: ryuji has adhd, yusuke also has autism, mishima has autism, goro has ocd. boom bam bop, you've been hit by the 'tism beam.

PLEASE DO POP OFF ABOUT THE INFANTILISM it's honestly such a gross sight.... the amount of times ive seen goro depicted as some small, feminine twink is genuinely staggering, and it's always left such a bad taste in my mouth because i KNOW it's because his character, at least for the majority of the plot, is polite and soft spoken.

not to mention how incredibly fetishizing it feels. i won't get too into it, but the amount of shuakeshu ive seen where one is drawn/written as larger than life/confident/suave and the other is meek/skinny/easily embarrassed? ohhh my god. please. akiren isn't some smooth jerk who makes goro blush with a well-placed quip, and goro isn't a crazed yandere who shuts akiren away from the rest of the world. they're both fucking losers who don't know how to process their feelings for the other because of their very, very embarrassing rivalry. stop degrading one to fit your perfect mlm narrative.

sigh i didn't mean for this to become a social commentary or anything, but .. lo and behold... here we are. i'd love to hear your thoughts on my takes, anon, and i'd love to hear the thoughts for anyone who read thru this too! while i do have adhd/am trans i can't speak for those who fall under the autism spectrum or for cis gay men, so if you'd like to correct me in my thinking PLEASE go ahead and do so, i'd love to be educated on topics i don't fully understand. have a good one <3

[whumpiary]

🥇 Pick one aspect of your story that you are particularly fond of. Anything at all. and

🧿 Whether you actually get there or not, what are your hopes for your OC's future? !! -wildfaewhump

Oh my these answers got long. Putting them under the cut!

🥇 Pick one aspect of your story that you are particularly fond of. Anything at all.

I am fond of the lore around supernatural abilities that I have! Even if its more... implicit and implied rather than ever explored outright lol. Maybe one day.

The first ideas spawned from two places: a) the concept of empathy being like... a positive evolutionary trait. And then following the thread of okay, so if empathy is a step forward in evolution, then what happens when that steps forward, or when other "gut feeling" things step forward, or mutate, or spin out of control. And, b) a slightly reactionary thing to when people go "neurodivergence is a superpower!" "survivor instincts are a superpower!". Because like... no, lol, but also if those things were like a superpower, would it actually help anyone? Could you actually do anything with a superpower if you're already disenfranchised, locked out from support, isolated from community?

Cass can feel what people want (see: fawn response on steroids) and even change what they want and control, but does that actually help him to find care and connection? Does that actually get him what he wants? Lou is hyper aware of the emotions of people around her (see: hyper empathy in ND people), and even trace and manipulate memories through those emotions, but does that help her understand people or does it just make her frustrated and cold because connecting with anyone is overwhelming? Harley can (kind of) predict the future, (and don't autism and trauma backgrounds both make us so so good at predicting patterns), but does that actually help them to lift themself out of the situation they're stuck in, or does it just leave them bracing for impact and frozen?

I think it's interesting conceptually, crunchy in pratice, and I fuckin' love chewing on it. Would hate to ever actually explore it in the text itself lmao, but I'm really proud of it as a take on supernatural abilities and how they might manifest and intersect with the way we know brains do things in our world.

-

🧿 Whether you actually get there or not, what are your hopes for your OC's future?

I've said a few things about this before but I have a relatively clear vision of (at least) Cass and Josiah's future! Cass ends up working in early childhood education (pre-school age). I kinda like the idea of him maybe getting into some volunteer advocacy work at some point, because he figures out its a constructive place for his anger and sense of injustice to go, but also maybe he just runs one of those like rage yoga classes for kids.

This happens before present timeline, but is also one of those headcanon-y things that just never comes up: Josiah used the pay-off he got from the Facility to buy a small block of apartments* and gets an income from being a landlord, he lives on that during times it's hard for him to keep a day job down. Cass and him eventually live in the top floor apartment of that little block.

For a while, Josiah continues to do trade work, mostly as something to do during the day because he's never not worked, and he kind of likes laboring.

I like the idea of Cass coaxing Jos into making baking a full time thing. He wouldn't want to run the front of the shop but I can see him opening up a little cafe where he gets to bake his goods, maybe cook a few meals, and has someone chirpy in the front to deal with customers. I reckon he'd like that.

*(he got upset when he found out that Lou and Mal were being kicked from the place they loved because the landlord was selling and realised he had enough in the bank to make an offer, so he did and didn't tell them until like six months later.)

[wetslug]

Autism has a HUUUUGE range of presentations and with that, a huge range in how it impacts people's ability to do normal things.

I'm sure it's good that the language has evolved and people don't really use "high functioning" versus "low functioning" anymore, but it has bugged me how this super diverse diagnosis ends up with a really reductive singular label in the discourse.

Like, someone who is a little particular about what they eat and how they dress saying "autism is my superpower! I love being neurospicy :)" feels honestly kind of insulting and minimizing when I went to school with boys with such bad social skills and impulse control that they would just undress in the middle of class or attack classmates with whatever was at hand. That's to say nothing of people who are completely nonverbal or have more severe disabilities that stem from severe autism.

I think a weird drawback of some of the modern conversation around autism and its acceptance has actually made it harder for people to talk about the hard parts of it. I'm sorry if that's something you're going through.

YEEE its so goddamn frustrating like dont get me wrong obviously i have low-support needs compared to most ppl on the spectrum but with the current social openness of diagnosis i find myself comparing myself to nt people AND nd people now and still feeling shitty 😭😭 i know u shouldnt compare yourself to Anybody but hehhghhhh its hard

[the-tmnt-ficfinder]

Some more random qhestions

What's your favorite animal

What's your favorite mythical beast (think dragon, sphinx, phoenix)

Would you want to be someone else instead of yourself?

Some more personal ones (you don't have to answer these)

Have you delt with mental health issues before?

Have you been diagnosed with autism / ADHD?

Do you sometimes wonder what is the meaning of life?

Some more light hearted ones. (And also hamster)

If you could have a superpower, what would it be?

Birds or reptiles?

What did you want to be as a kid?

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood (trick question, a woodchuck couldn't chuck wood)

What's your favorite animal

"I love animals in general, as they're so precious! Though, my favorite animal is a red fox. They're very noisy, and cheeky and playful XD besides that, I'm a huge cat person lol and I currently own two cats!

What's your favorite mythical beast (think dragon, sphinx, phoenix)

"Man, you're gonna think this is either crazy, or awesome. I've got a few favorites, but they're kinda niche. The Kirin, the Nuckelavee, the Ningens, Wendigos, the fae, and of course, Paddler who lives in Lake Pend Oreille (Pronounced Pond or lay. Yeah, i know its pronounced really weird, pretty sure its French). If you don't know who Paddler is, he's basically like another loch ness monster, who lives in a different place. You might wanna look some of these creatures up if you're curious, but be warned, some of them are pretty scary in appearance. Then, if I absolutely had to give a basic answer, is a faerie dragon allowed? They're so precious!!"

Would you want to be someone else instead of yourself?

"If you asked me that a year ago, I would have said yes. Though, right now, I'm quite content with being myself ^^"

Some more personal ones (you don't have to answer these)

Have you delt with mental health issues before?

"Yup. Some pretty serious ones actually. I had smiling depression for a very long time, among other issues that were pretty bad."

Have you been diagnosed with autism / ADHD?

"I have not been officially diagnosed, though I have done an insane amount of research, and can confidently say that I'm high sensory, and have ADHD ^^ Not sure about autism, pretty sure not, but we'll see in a few years when I eventually have the time and money to get diagnosed lol"

Do you sometimes wonder what is the meaning of life?

"That is something I used to wonder a lot about when I was younger, but as I grew not as much. I think, life just makes more sense to me now. In a way I suppose."

Some more light hearted ones. (And also hamster)

If you could have a superpower, what would it be?

"That's a tough one!! There are so many superpowers!! Um, maybe have a perfect memory, like PERFECT, or the ability to shapeshift. I'd probably use it to constantly change my hair color lol."

Birds or reptiles?

"I have to pick?? Lol ok ok, if I have to choose, then snakes. They're cuddly danger noodles ^^"

What did you want to be as a kid?

"You're gonna laugh XD I wanted to be many different things. Among those is a farmer, a professional artist, a martial arts instructor, and, wait for it... A cashier who is also a fairy princess lol. These are all from varying ages XD"

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood (trick question, a woodchuck couldn't chuck wood)

"He would chuck as much wood as a wood chuck could if a wood chuck could chuck wood!!!"

Thank you for the questions!! These ones were such fun to answer!!!

Also, is that your hamster?? Its so cute!!! I just wanna *Pets the precious thing*

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

Just some queer disabled writing thoughts

I love queer-focused stories. I love coming outs and gay pining and identity uncertainty. 

I love disability stories, where people get diagnosed, get help, find themselves. 

However, I am tired that they are so often the only stories queer, disabled characters get. Their journey, their narrative arc, is their queerness or their disability. And while we need those stories, we also need stories where their queerness and disability are completely, entirely incidental to the narrative journey they’re on. A factor, sure, but not the whole story. 

Not to make it about myself, but make it about myself. For example, this is why, when outlining my story with an autistic heroine, I agonized over her ability. My first instinct was to do the lazy thing: give her heightened senses because of her autistic sensory issues. But quicky I hated that. I hated contorting her disability into a superpower when her disability didn’t make her magical. Her magical powers happened elsewhere, and it felt cheap to act like autism made her a hero. Her autism makes her human while her traumatic transformation complicates it. So, I made her power invisibility. A person comfortable with making themselves as small and unseen as possible. It has some ties to her autistic identity, but also just being a traumatized teen with a superpower like no one else she knows. People love to give her attention but she just wants normalcy. 

And her story? About figuring out who her family is while trying to hunt down the family she lost. Her autism plays a role, but it isn’t her only story. 

It’s just exhausting to feel like so many stories end at diagnosis and disability. Real people with those things keep going. They struggle, survive, suffer, fall in love, marry, have kids, advance their careers, break hearts... they are dynamic people with so much life in them than just their labels. Those labels are so important to parsing their identity, and its why those kinds of identity stories are so important. But it isn’t all the stories queer disabled people can tell.

As a kid, I didn’t want my identity story. I needed it when I was a teen, but before I knew who I was, it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted stories where people that felt like me, looked like me, were heroes fighting dragons and going on grand adventures and being heroes and villains and complicated, loved people. They are queer and disabled and those things are features, but not the main story. There’s so much more space in the world for more than that.

And that’s what I’ll write, because those stories are important, too. 

[childeproof]

It’s Crazy Man, Bunny Teeth, and Super Rad for the ask game? ^o^)/

- @sheepie-self-ships

it’s crazy man! w/ neuvillette: “what was your first date with your f/o like?“

for the first official date him & sacha went to the opera together,, sacha, who formally sang in a chorus, was fascinated by the style. it was at the edge of its seat for the whole performance!

neuvillette is no stranger to watching operas, so he got them one of the best seats in the house and was mostly amused by sacha’s interest

they don’t talk throughout the performance, mostly using body language and bursts of eye contact to communicate feeling or thought; they’re not in tune, not soulmates, just two guys who grew up more formally than most

^^ they both prob know fan language, lol

anyhow, the opera quickly becomes their fav date spot. they typically go for a light meal before or after watching a performance :)

bunny teeth! w/ jfk ( clone high ): “what is your f/o’s favorite thing about you?”

he’s enamored by my autism.. i’m only half joking

jean-michel ( jm for short ) is my 2nd s/i for clone high and the one i pair with jfk,, he is autistic and i think jfk fucks with it.. lol

but for serious, probably jm’s artistic skills and dedication to it, he’s always drawing or creating something and it’s like he’s not only living up to his clone father’s reputation but in some ways exceeding it in the clone high verse ( he’s known!! online he’s rlly popular ) ( he doesn’t show his face in any videos though but ppl @ school know it’s him :p )

jfk can’t claim to be THAT dedicated to any hobby and i think he rlly admires jm for that

he desperately wants to model for jm & has probably not so jokingly offered to nude model for him just to get closer to him and flirt,, he flirts with jm the same way he flirts with every other romantic interest he’s had

jm is kind of oblivious to romance ( autism ) ( self projection not saying EVERYONE with autism is oblivious ) and i think he thinks of friendships a lot more so it’s only once he becomes comfy as friends that he considers jfk romantically

anyways yea prob his dedication to his craft,, jfk admires that a lot. and his smile but that’s for another day.

super rad! w/ jesse pinkman: “if you and your f/o had superpowers, what would they be?”

amelia wld be like word girl and for her that would be 100% a dream come true. if i had to limit it to one, probably super hearing or strength

but i rlly think she’d be like word girl with multiple powers that, unlike word girl, she’d have loose control over

jesse pinkman wld have super speed umm I love speedy heroes I think they’re always the cutest. the super speed cocky ish maybe a little flirty but goofy and charming and maybe a little immature but u know. ok u know the archetype y’all know what i’m talking abt. don’t make me list names.

if he didn’t have super speed i honestly.. gah can’t even imagine it.

he would try to speedily sneak up on amelia and she’d go “i heard you coming..”

imagining them as the incredibles now.. them being two married super heroes.. TOO SILLY! ABORT MISSION!

[vizthedatum]

Food aversions and radical changes in preferences, as I’m currently living it

Written around 7:33 on a plane today.

—

Regardless of what’s happening, I will aim to describe my health as holistically (in a narrative way) as I can.

For the past 2 years or so, I’ve been consciously unmasking my autism and adhd as much as possible.

I am burnt out, and I’m tired of lying to myself while performing… life.

But that’s only a part of the puzzle for me.

—

Today I’m going on a solo trip for my mental health and self fulfillment. I’m also figuring out what’s going on with my body.

—

Usually on planes, I ask for “ginger ale, no ice.” Apart from Dr. Pepper - ginger ale is one of my other comfort pop drinks. And it’s my go to drink for flying .

And besides I’ve just been perpetually nauseated and while there is no proof really that ginger ale helps that much because of its sugar content, it helps mentally.

Today, ginger ale tasted like vomit. What the actual fuck??? I tried some from another can - disgusting. (Should I collect more data? Was it just these particular cans???)

—

Earlier today, when visiting with my brother, I asked him to order things I knew I would like - I ate out of a need to nourish my body in some way (including mental nourishment).

It was easier to eat with another person - harder to eat alone it seems.

It’s been so hard to eat since the beginning of this month. And the fatigue that happens is so cyclical with it (if I don’t eat, I’m fatigued; if I do eat, I’m fatigued - really high amounts)

I just started a course of antibiotics last night (X-safe antibiotics) - and like okay? I’ve been on and off antibiotics for MOST OF MY LIFE - I know what the nausea from that feels like - this is not that. This isn’t an allergy either.

Besides I have been feeling nauseated for weeks.

I’m so sad about this because I love food. I love eating.

It’s also weird because (only using this as a comparative example) when I was with my ex-spouse, I was nauseated in a very different way (I chronically threw up nearly daily for an extended period of time due to a mix of chronic pain and overdoing recreational and medical cannabis - it was a huge problem - I was perpetually stressed and manipulated and blah blah (see my other posts).)

THIS DOES NOT FEEL LIKE THAT.

—

I can smell things so much more acutely. Almost like a cursed superpower. I’m so glad I’m masking (physical face mask!) because it limits how much I smell.

—

All the while my breasts (so conflicted about them from a trans/dysphoric perspective) and lower abdomen ache and pound. (Also in a different way than the usual period/PCOS/IC/endo way… similar, very similar, but so different)

I’m also sad because I need to re-do AND intentionally figure out my entire nutrition plan. Sigh.

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I MUST DO. And I’m trying my best to ask for help but I do *feel* like a burden even though I know I’m not. If it were my friend, I would help - so I know that this is ok.

I haven’t looked this up but is there any guidebook for newly unmasked autistics who may or may not be dealing with an unplanned X (lol sorry I know it’s obvious - I won’t get direct confirmation until later) who already have multiple pelvic and reproductive chronic health issues?!?!

*laughcry* even with all my knowledge, even with me working at an institute specifically for reproductive health, even with everything… it’s like a fucking mystery.

—

And I wish my mom was actually the type of person who could help me out, because… I fucking need a familial mentor who has gone through this to help me EMOTIONALLY. But she barely has any empathy even though I love her. And we aren’t talking. I did see her, in all her beauty, today when she dropped my brother off… we didn’t speak according to my boundaries.

—

AND OMFG THE PERSON NEXT TO ME JUST GOT COFFEE AND I CANNOT HANDLE THE SMELL

coffee

It smells so bad

I used to love the smell of coffee

—

*tries not to meltdown and visibly be a frazzled queer coded autistic on a full flight*

*goes to bathroom and breathes*

[ishhbowl]

tell me about your oc’s they sound cool :3

OKOKOK SO! i have many oc universes but the one i was talking abt is my (eventual. i will make it someday i promise) webcomic Into Orbit!! its about four teenagers in the year 2009 who’s town is getting invaded by aliens and wacky hijinks ensue :)

^^^this is the only piece of (some of) the mcs i have on hand, there are more but im on my phone rn 😔

the one at the bottom is jaz phuong!! she/her bisexual grunge enthusiast who has dreams of owning a motorcycle, but unfortunately she is Fifteen Years Old and cannot drive one. truly a tragedy. however she makes due with wearing a motorcycle helmet roughly 60% of the time (has gotten into detention several times refusing to take it off.) she can come off as gruff and intimidating at first, however she just has autism and social anxiety and doesn’t know how to talk to people. she is the coolest one here by far tho. and also my favorite to draw. i love her <3

going clockwise, the next character is theo rivera!:3 he/him token cishet (however he is ace and gnc!! so still a win for the gays) and jaz’s reluctant friend/bestie/boyfriend depending on where you are in the story. hes a silly goofy mischievous little boy with a bad temper that he tries to keep under wraps. when he’s in a really bad mood, though, he sneaks out into the junkyard next to his house and smashes shit with his trademark Baseball Bat Never Once Used To Play Baseball (tm), which will absolutely not ever get him into trouble what are you talking about. he rides on the bike pegs he insisted jaz attach to her bike and they are so incredibly important to me do you understand

next up is shelley “shel” bloomberg, he/him worlds most cringest boy (its a feature not a bug). he’s grayromantic and gay, but he doesn’t know it yet so shhh!!!! hes a massive alien fan, local believer of every cryptid ever (he WILL show you "proof" if asked), avid xfiles watcher and scifi enjoyer. basically hes a huge nerd and we love him for it. usually he gets made fun of (*COUGH* SYLV *COUGH*) for his interests, but its lucky he knows his stuff, seeing as their town is about to get invaded by real-life actual aliens!! can most likely be found on call with his brother alex, playing his scuffed (absolutely NOT pirated he would never do such a thing stop lying) copy of the sims 2, or looking for extraterrestrial life using his handheld telescope. or just looking at space bc you know. space cool.

finally, we have sylvia mahji, she/her the most beloved of girls in the whole wide world. unlabeled sapphic who is POSSESSED BY AN ALIEN!! UH OH!!! well its really more of an unwilling symbiotic relationship but still UH OH!! dont worry her and her alien parasite become buddies (or more... hmmm.........) as time goes on. and she gets alien superpowers. hell yeah. she often ends up being mean to people in an effort to fit in, however all she really wants is friends :( her and theo used to be besties above all the resties but they started drifting apart at the beginning of the story, something to be discussed over the course of the plot. also she and shel are neighbors and have a rival relationship, like they hate each other so much for literally no reason. can you tell i like rivals to friends relationships. oH YEAH AND SHES FUCKING CRACKED AT BASKETBALL GIRL IS BALLING FR

other characters include: spacegirl!! the aforementioned alien parasite of sylv. she, although her name would make you think otherwise, is not a girl but an alien. i dont have a design settled on for her, but i do know that i want her to be humanoid, and she's got a green and pink color scheme :) when she takes control of sylv's body (because she can do that. forgot to say. eyah) sylv's eyes turn green and other eyes open up all over her body because cool :thumbsup: she came on the same spaceship the invaders coming to earth are from, but she just wants to see earth and have fun!! and maybe prevent her evil tyrant alien leader from taking over another world!! who knows!!

another important character is alex flores-bloomberg, shel's half brother, scene kid, and all around goofy guy :3 transmasc he/him, really just here to cause problems and get myspace followers. shel's father absolutely hates him and that fact is only partly because he stained his entire bathroom with hairdye. he's two years younger than the rest of the cast, a point that will be constantly used to make fun of him. i love him dearly. you get it.

uhh eyah thatsit :3 i could go on about them forever and everr so if anyone wants to know more about a specific character(s) or the plot or whatever pleasepleaseprettyplease ask!! ^_^

[nextinline-if]

HEY WONDERFULNESS DROP YOUR GAME RECS

Thank you hey-its-franky and anon! <3

Here are my IF Recs:

So, now I'm going to take this opportunity to do my visual novel recommendations <3 hehe :D all of these are on itch.io

In no particular order, visual novels that live rent free in my soul...

Royal Alchemist and Royal Order by @niftyvisuals - I love romance combined with skill checks. I felt like the plot was really well fleshed out, too.

Andromeda Six by Wanderlust Games. - <3 sci-fi and also Calderon and Damon are mine!!

Ebon Light by @underbliss - this was the first visual novel I ever played and it's sooooo good, it really caught me off guard.

Infinite Stars - another great sci-fi one.

Imperial Grace by @synstoria - this one is gender locked and it's an otome but I'm a suck for royal things (hence my own game haha).

Red Embrace: Hollywood by @argentgames- oh shit, this game is gritty and deals with some heavy shit in the best way. 11/10. Can't sink my teeth into it enough ;D Markus is just...chef's kiss.

When The Night Comes by Lunaris Games - August is just...incredible and I love them so much <3 their romance route really f'd me up (in a good way).

Errant Kingdom by Lunaris Games - you don't have to romance in this game. I do enjoy that, personally, and I love Lucien and Erik with a vengeance.

Gilded Shadows by @steamberrystudio - this one is GxB genderlocked as well but damn Ari is *heart eyes*.

Super/Human Identity by Rock A Role Games - pretty cool premise and gotta love superpowers.

Oathbreaker Season 1 and Season 2 by @larkylabs - also otome/genderlocked but I think the plot and characters are fleshed out really well. The kid is adorbs.

Our Life: Beginnings & Always by @gbpatchupdates - I was so surprised by how lovely this was! At the end of my first play through, Cove had discovered he has autism and my partner has autism, so I thought that was pretty cool and I went and gushed to him about the game. So much representation and variations in this game! 100/10!

But there are other VNs I need to try but hard to choose. If anyone has a good recommendation for what I play next, please pass it along <3

[itsmetheabnormalone]

Also the fact that I’m autistic when they’re not around (or even when I’m alone)

The fact that I’m autistic even when it’s inconvenient seems to absolutely baffle some people