#i love growing up! change in my life is scary but watching myself change is beautiful

[septemberpdf]

looking in the mirror or just. being self aware enough to see my own changes is like the absolute most beautiful thing in the world

[kinardsboy]

I love picturing the moment Buck realizes that Tommy isn't getting bored of him or plotting to leave him behind. Not necessarily after a big traumatic situation -- I'm picturing them drinking coffee together one morning, Buck holding onto Tommy's hand, and Tommy saying something about mornings being better with Buck.

It was about seven months into their relationship, when Buck knew he was going to be with this man for the rest of his life.

Tommy had just finished brewing their coffee, neither of them had a shift today so they were going to the San Diego Zoo to look at the newborn otters.

Buck was still settling into their routines, getting used to having someone so kind and attentive to his needs- it made him happy- but at the same time it filled him with dread.

Dread because nothing good in his life ever lasted- Dread because Tommy was sure to get bored of him soon- get bored of taking these baby steps with him instead of dating someone who was already out for years prior. Evan knew Tommy would grow tired of taking care of him- Evan knew he was “so needy” and so it made it difficult to enjoy these domestic moments- because all he could think about, in the quiet, in the natural lull of the conversation- was when it was all going to end.

Tommy turned around to face Buck, holding both of their coffee mugs; when he suddenly paused.

It was.. scary. How accurately Tommy could read Buck. It left him feeling exposed- especially when Tommy was impossible to read. The man was so damn cool and suave.

“You know,” Tommy began, sitting down across from his boyfriend, getting his attention. “I used to love mornings.”

“Oh yeah?” Evan mumbled and reached out for his coffee, only half paying attention. Still worried about losing everything.

“Oh yeah.” Tommy nodded “I didn’t like the quiet of the night- so getting up and ready for work was no problem for me. Everyone always complained that I was too chipper in the morning- but hey if it gave me a reason to get up and get out of bed- then who cares right?”

“Mhm.” Evan nodded

“But then- this adorable- and dorky firefighter crawled his way into my heart and now,” Tommy sighed dramatically, placing a hand over his forehead for effect. “I hate mornings.. because morning means I have to drag myself out of bed- out of the warm embrace of my favorite person in the world.. and we have to go our separate ways.”

Evan looked up at Tommy’s words, snorting when his boyfriend was being over dramatic. “So.. what do you like now?” He asked curiously

“Now, Evan. I like nights. Didn’t used to before. Too quiet. But that same adorable, oh and dorky, firefighter that crawled his way into my heart?” Tommy hummed “well he also crawled his way into my home- my life- filling my house with laughter and his presence- and silly little trinkets to remind me of him when he can’t be there.” Tommy gestured over to the framed photo of the two of them at the aquarium, sitting on the coffee table. Then at the accompanying otter stuffed animal, lying right next to the photo.

“And nights? Nights mean reuniting with said favorite person. They mean sharing dinner and a conversation- they mean cuddling and watching a movie.. or doing something else.. while we watch a movie.” Tommy chuckled before continuing, “My point is.. you have - changed me. For the better. In such a short amount of time. Improved my life significantly.. and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” Tommy placed two fingers underneath his chin and pulled him into a kiss.

“Now come on. Let’s get going.” Tommy stood up, and headed for the door, leaving Buck to have a moment to himself.

I hope you enjoyed it ! :)

[strniohoeee]

Dolor Pt. 2

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N hasn’t seen Chris in a year and a half, but with the help of her friend she’s surprised by them🤭 Will those feelings still be there for one another?

Warnings⚠️: None, I’m not too sure how I feel about this one, but I had no other idea on how to write it so I hope y’all enjoy 🙃

Song for the imagine: ANGEL- Brent Faiyaz

Read part 1 here🫶🏽

Don’t ever leave my side, baby I’ll die

But from what I know, you’re always here to stay

You’re an angel in disguise

It has been a solid year and half since Chris and I broke up, a solid year and half of never seeing him or his brothers. It was very hard, but it also flew by. I wasn’t sure where a year and half went. It was honestly scary.

We both told each other we’d love to cross paths, and reconnect in a few months to be friends, but life got in the way, and that never happened. I’m honestly glad it didn’t, we were both so busy I believe it helped us move on from one another faster.

We all stood mutuals with each other on instagram and TikTok, but we just didn’t interact with each other. I watched them grow in all aspects, and it was amazing. I thought I’d be there to witness it first hand, but instead I was watching from the sidelines….it hurt me, but it had to be done.

My TikTok was flooded with videos of them from their tour they were just on, and it’s honestly crazy how much people can change in a year and a half. That didn’t even look like Chris. He was much more mature looking, sculpted cheekbones, shorter hair, stubble on his face…..Chris was looking good.

I shook that feeling off because I could not allow myself to fall back in love with Chris. It took me a long time to move on from him. I will always love the kid, but to fall out of love was hard. I hadn’t seen or talked to any other guys since splitting with Chris, and I wasn’t too sure if that was the same with him. Deep down I hoped it was.

I was scrolling on TikTok one day when I saw a clip of the triplets from their recent podcast video, they were doing a Q and A video, and somehow Chris pulled out a question asking about me. I decided to watch the video

“Okay so this person says how’s Y/N, and how have you been since the breakup. I’m currently going through my own break up right now, and I just need some advice” Chris read out

“So uh this is a good question. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve last seen Y/N, and it’s crazy to say it’s been that long, but it has. With the relationship we had and how special it was it took me a full year to finally be able to feel okay, and understand why we split up. It hurt and some part of me still hurts, but we told each other the night we broke up that we both will be okay because we’re strong, and that’s something I’ve been holding on to. I presume that she’s okay, I’ve seen her instagram posts and her TikTok’s, and she looks amazing. I actually really miss the girl. So I hope she’s doing great, and for you going through your break up just know everything happens for a reason and you’ll be okay take your time and work on yourself” he said

Oh god this was making it so hard for me not to call Chris and ask to see him….I missed him so badly

I scrolled some more and another clip popped up

“This person wants to know do you still love Y/N” Nick asked Chris

“Oh 100% that woman is my everything. Like we’ve said in the past we hope to cross paths again” Chris said nodding his head

This has to be a sign? Like this has to be a sign that I have to see him, that Chris and I are meant for each other right? Or am I being delusional……

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to call him, text him or just ignore all this and keep it pushing in life. I felt torn between my decisions

Today I was getting ready to film with Larray and Arrington. I had gotten so close to them within the last year, and we always filmed together. Larray was my biggest supporter in all this, and he was also friends with the triplets which kind of made it hard, but he never got in between anything. Although he hoped and prayed that we’d get back together one day I always told him time will tell.

He had an idea where we all stay in his car for 24 hours with special guests. I wasn’t sure who these guests were, and I wasn’t sure why he wanted us to stay in a car for 24 hours, but I agreed I knew it would be fun.

I had driven over to Larrays house, and let myself in

“YOOOOO” I yelled from the door

“Were in hereeee” Arrington yelled back

Oh god I was the last one here….I hated this, but anyways I walked to Larrays room, and when I walked in my heart sank

“Oh” was all I said as I walked in

“Hiiiii baby” Larray said, causing everybody to turn around with him the triplets face dropping

“What’s? Uh….whats going on” I said looking at Larray

“We’re filming a video, and I brought my friends” he said back

“It’s been so long” Chris said looking at me saddened

“It ummm it has” I said smiling at him

“We have missed you so fucking much….holy shit” Nick said running over and hugging me

“Uhh it’s been so fucking long I missed yall too” I said hugging him

“Matt you look so different now” I said jaw dropping and giving him a hug

“Good different I hope” he said hugging me

“Of course good different” I said laughing at him

I moved to Chris

“You look so different too” I said pulling him in for a hug

“I’ve missed you” he said hugging me tighter

“Missed you too” I said pulling away

After chatting for a bit Larray decided to film his introduction for his channel

“Alright bitches we are filming a 24 hour car video today, and of course I had to bring in my ride or dies Arrington and Y/N” he said and both Arrington and I made an entrance

“And then you know Larray had to stir the pot, so he brought the triplets” Arrington said to the camera causing us to laugh

“As uhhh most of you know there’s uh an elephant in this room between uh two people, but ummm we won’t talk about it” Larray said

And we just laughed at him

“You are so messy” I said to him rolling my eyes playfully

“Alright let’s get to the car bitches” he said and we ran out

I sat in the passenger seat, Chris and Arrington in the back, and then Nick and Matt in the third row

“Alright so right now we’re driving to Target which is 45 minutes away because Larray decided to do this video during rush hour” I said to the camera

“Uh- is that a drag?” He asked me

“It sure is” I said to him

“So Y/N….you said Matt looks different….you already had Chris so will you try another brother” Arrington asked me

I looked back at him jaw on the floor, as Chris and his brothers were laughing

“You weirdo Arrington, I will not fucking get with Matt” I said shaking my head

“Could you believe this kid” I said looking at the camera

“Ouuuu the fans want to know how many boyfriends since Chris” Larray asked me

“Boyfriends plural? Do they think I’m a slut….its only been a year and a half guys, and there’s been zero guys since Chris” I said shrugging my shoulders

“OHHHHHH CHRISSSS” Larray and Arrington yelled at him hyping him up

“She loves me too much to do that” Chris said to the camera

“Uh-“ I said turning around to look at him

“I’m just kidding” he said and touched my face playfully

“SAW THAT” Nick and Matt yelled from the back

We had finally gotten to Target, and Chris and I were paired up to go on the hunt for some things, and we had to vlog it together

“Alright guys I’m here with uh….my ex” I said to the camera

“What a great reunion” he said looking at the camera

“Who would’ve thought a year and a half later we’d be in Target shopping for a video together” I said looking at him

“I honestly thought it would’ve happened sooner, but I mean hey” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Oh whatever” I said rolling my eyes at him

Him and I were doing some shopping and grabbing some stuff, and we had found ourselves in the coloring book aisle

“Look the Disney coloring book, your favorite” he said leaning down to grab it

“You remembered?” I asked him

“Of course I did, and you only get specific coloring pencils cause you’re weird” he said laughing

“Hey don’t be mean” I said laughing at him

“It’s cute” he said smiling at me

“Do you ever think about us?” I asked him

“Pretty often actually” he said looking at me

“Do you think you see a future with me” I asked him

“I’ve thought about this a lot, and every time I picture my future you’re a main character in it” he said looking into my eyes

“This year and a half has been rough, and I so badly wanted nothing more than to cave and call you over, and just hold you tight” I said looking down

“I sat in my room for so many nights wondering if the decision I made was right, and after a while I just became numb to the feeling, but I want this again….I want us” he said

“I think we should start slow first. I want us to truly work out this time no break ups no nothing” I said to him

“I think so too, you should come film with us again we miss you so much, and the fans miss you too” he said

“I’ve seen…all over my tik tok” I said smiling at him

“Yeah they love you and I love you too so much” he said pulling me in for a hug

We finished vlogging some, and headed back to the car with everybody getting back in our original seats

“Okay everybody we are back, we’re going to go eat something and then we’ll be back in the car for the next 24 hours” Larray said

After we ate we went back into Larrays car trying to stick out this challenge and just chatting with each other asking each other questions

“How many girlfriends since Y/N?” Larray asked Chris

“None. I told yall she’s the love of my life” he said looking at the camera

“Awww Chris” I said looking at him

“HEY CITY GIRLS UP. Do not fall for this” Arrington said

“Shut the fuck up” I said laughing at him

“What’s one regret you have” Nick asked us

“I think my biggest regret was completely dropping you guys out of my life. Like no interactions no nothing that hurt the most” I said to them

“We appreciate that” Matt said

“How do you guys feel after seeing each other” Matt asked Chris and I

“Is this a hot seat? What are we doing” Chris said

“Shut the fuck up and answer” Nick said

“I feel at peace, like seeing him was the last piece to my puzzle. I still love Chris of course, and we’re hoping to take things slow, and eventually get together again” I said to them

“Yeah. I love her so much, and seeing her today brought back all those memories. Memories that made my heart flutter, and I knew I couldn’t let her go again” he said looking at me

“Yall cute as shit this has got to stop” Larray said

“So yall heard it here first they are back together” Arrington said to the camera

“WOAH WOAH NO” we both said putting our hands out

“We are taking it slow…we are not dating yet, and trust me you guys will know when we’re back together. It’s a maybe for right now” I said to the camera

“But she will be in our videos again” Chris said

“SHE WILL?” Nick and Matt said

“Yes she will!” He said to them

“FUCK YES FINALLY” Nick said getting excited

We had chatted for a good thirty more minutes before we decided this challenge was not going to happen

“Alright guys we did not make it, but we love you and we’re heading inside now” Larray said

“BYEEEEEE” we all yelled to the camera, Chris pulling me in and kissing my forehead

“Are you guys going to soft launch your comeback before I post this?” Larray asked us

“You know that’s not a bad idea actually” I said looking at Chris

“We could do that. I’d love to do that” he said pulling me in and kissing my cheek

“Yall soft launching but he smoochin on you” Matt said looking at us

“Uhhhh mind your business” Chris said sticking his tongue out at him

“OMG to keep it like private you guys could do like a couples shadow picture” Nick said

“Waittttt I love that let’s do it” I said to Chris

We had snapped the picture, and Chris posted it collabing with me once again so I can post and share it. Nick and Matt also shared it to their story saying the gangs back together and they can’t wait to film with me again. Immediately the love we got was INSANE

❤️nicolassturniolo,matthew.sturniolo,larray, and 450,000 others

christophersturniolo: I told you guys we’d always always find a way back to one another. Although we aren’t dating again we will be thinking about it for our future. I love this girl with my whole fucking heart, and I’m so glad we’re in each others lives again. She was my right person at the wrong time.My number one girl💍. Were back BITCHESSSSS🥳

Sturnioloteam: STFU THEYRE BACK

arringtonallen: mhmmm I was here for this picture so back off everyone

nicolassturniolo: mama and papa🫡

matthew.sturniolo: yall cute or whatever…..

larray: yall can thank me for this reunion MHMM💅🏽

Y/Nusername: my number one guy…love this kid so much💋

sturnioloooooo: I knew mom and dad would find each other again

The immense love we received was insane. Had you told me a year and a half ago today that all that pain would be gone, and we would find each other again I would laugh in your face. I guess I am making it to the end of his story….🥀

The End

I hope you guys liked this one I feel ehhh about it, but I had to have a happy ending🥹 but anywho let me get to writing some more 🖤

-J💅🏽

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

Lately all I've been saying about him is stupid sexual jokes so its probably hard to imagine how im crying my eyes out in the middle of the night thinking about him right now

I keep these things private. Not only because it's about my most sacred emotions but also because i have this (perhaps very human and normal) doubt that i would look back at the written words one day and "cringe". But the bigger my emotions are the more i want to express them.

I'm so thankful for Napoleon. Many people might find it extremely lonely to rely on a character like that. But I thought about it, and the truth is, the role he currently has in my life couldn't be taken by any person. It's exactly because it's so unrealistic to have such a perfect lovestory why I'm grateful to experience it in such a way. I'm fine with it. I don't cry because I can't feel him physically, those are happy tears in fact. Because lately I learned something about myself, and that is how big my trust issues are, and how much they grew during the past year. It's scary. I'm pushing people away on purpose. At the same time, all I've ever wanted was love. Even if I'm doing my best trying to see and fix my mistakes, this is who i am today. Napoleon is the source of love I allowed myself five years ago, for the first time. It's silly but while i did have favorite characters before him, i had a mental barrier that prevented me from imagining purely loving scenarios like that. Not because I don't deserve it, but because I felt vulnerable. I don't know what he did. Many have come after him, I keep seeking them out, i play otome and find love stories that cater to all my personal preferences when it comes to these things. But I've only ever opened up myself like that to him.

If i hadn't stumbled across him, i wouldn't have been the same person today. My passion for writing came with him. My reason for making a place in this fandom for myself is because i had love to express. Without this, i wouldn't have made the friends i found here, i wouldn't know how it feels to make so many people laugh, to want to surround myself with people and want to give so many positive emotions to them. I had an extremely isolated childhood. My first friendships weren't healthy because I didn't know what a normal friendship looks like. I'm not an extrovert. I don't think I've fully figured out how to communicate yet, but im learning.

If he was a real person, I wouldn't have listened to him. I wouldn't have trusted him, i wouldn't have opened my heart to him. Because im scared of that. I'm even more scared today when i no longer feel my mother's love, something I didn't see coming, and how she made me realize that not even familial love is absolute.

I'm crying because of how easy it is to love napoleon. To allow myself this love without any doubts that he would hurt me. And i don't let this be a substitute for real love, i won't stop seeking a person who will make me feel like that. But it will hurt when I find them, because that's how it is, at the beginning, I fully accept that.

I have known him since i was 17, and this might be an exaggeration but i feel like he watched me grow. Looking back at the things I've felt for him though the past 5 and a half years it's like reflecting on myself during that time. All the major things that happened during that time, i had at least some thought about how would he feel about it.

I'm scared of the future. I'm scared that if im not in the comfort of my room anymore when I close my eyes at night he would disappear along with it. But he's not tied to a place. I can take him everywhere I go.

I open ikevamp just to hear his voice from the drama cd's ending, and he says the line from the screenshot above and i cry harder. It's extremely rare for me to let out my tears in that way, i know they're happy tears because i just feel love and warmth right now and nothing else.

I feel very vulnerable sharing all of this but somehow i want it written down for a change. I want to let it out as if it's normal instead of viewing it like another feeling that should be locked away.

I might delete it when i wake up but just for tonight it's okay...

[thetriplets3]

hii hru?? can you do “lingering looks, they should have turned away seconds ago” from the prompt list with matt?? thank uu

started with this idea, got carried away and I have no idea if what I wrote makes any sense but enjoy and thank you for your request I loved writing this

⁵⁵⁵ change ⁵⁵⁵

Matt and I are best friends, always have been, probably always will be but he’ll never see me as anything more. I was always closer to Matt than his brothers. He was the first person I’d go to if I needed anything. Sick, upset, happy, hurt, excited, you name it Matt was first to know.

Matt has this ability to make anyone feel safe, welcomed and loved. He has such a warm gentle soul and his presence is always a comfort to me. We’re both very affectionate people, hugs, cuddling, linking arms in crowded spaces, or pats on the back in passing. I haven’t seen Matt and his brothers in about 8 months, other than FaceTime calls since I moved away for school. The semester has come to an end which means I’m back home for the summer.

Wanting to see all my friends, the boys invited me to stay at their home in LA for a few weeks. Arriving to their house I take everything around me in, almost inspecting the place. They moved here about 3 months ago but since I was away at school I haven’t been here yet. My inspection is quickly interrupted by Chris swinging the front door open and squealing my name out, before tackling me in a tight, much needed hug.

“Missed you kid” he says, ruffling my hair as I’m bending down to take my shoes off.

“You’re literally the child here, kid” I joke.

Settling all my stuff into Nick’s room, he and I head to the living room to watch a movie. I’ve made myself comfortable in the corner seat of the couch curled in a ball on my side, resisting the urge to fall asleep.

Hearing what sounded like something falling, my eyes curiously drift in the direction of the noise, stopping briefly on Nick whose clearly used to this type of thing before looking up only to be met with Matt regaining his balance. I smile, taking in his presence and energy. Our eyes meet and it feels like time has stood still. We’ve FaceTimed a bunch over the last 8 months so it’s not like I haven’t seen them at all but seeing him in person after all this time feels different. A good different.

Seeing how much he’s changed makes my heart do backflips. I was worried when I moved away that the boys and I would grow apart but they made sure to let me know it’s gonna take a lot more than me moving to lose them. They look happier, there’s a glow to them. You can tell that they’re at a good place in their life just by looking at them. Matt had this air of confidence around him that he didn’t have when I left. He seems more comfortable with himself and happy, which makes me happy. His style has definitely changed and improved since I saw him last. I’ve always loved his style and now he radiates confidence. My love for him grows seeing him in person after so long. The change of moving from where I grew up with all my friends and family around me to living alone half way across the country scared me to death. But now that I’m standing here in front of him, change doesn’t seem so scary.

“Hi sorry to interrupt this little love reunion going on but there’s a movie playing and this vibe going across the room is interfering with that so do something other than stand there please” Nick exasperates.

To appease him we breaks eye contact and Matt makes his way to me, sitting next to me. Opening his arms, inviting me in for a hug I scoot over with my blanket wrapped around me and melt into his hold. Like 2 pieces of a puzzle. Shifting to bring my knees to my chest, I rest my head on his shoulder awkwardly, not being able to fully reach it.

Sensing my discomfort he gently grabs hold of my legs pulling them to lay atop of his lap. Our eyes flicker to each other with a soft smile. Taking his hint to get comfier I rest my head between his shoulder and neck, wrapping my right arm across his body and letting the other lay in my lap. His left hand lies over my knees and the other securely around my back, his thumb mindlessly rubbing my arm.

My eyes shut for a moment taking this feeling in. This feels different than every other time we’ve cuddled. Usually it’s just a head against a shoulder, head on the chest but this feels like it’s beyond those boundaries. He’s holding me to him like he doesn’t want me to leave, the hands on my leg feels intimate, it’s like he’s trying to tell himself I’m actually here and he’s not imagining it. I’m not complaining. I’ve spent the last 8 months just dying to be back with my people, my safe place.

A tear slips from my eyes. My hand grabs a hold of his shirt, balling it in my fist. Feeling a hitch in my breathing he tightens his hold on me letting me know he’s here. He places a soft kiss on the top of my head.

“I’m here sweet girl, I’m not leaving” he whispers.

Wanting to see his face I shift my head slightly resting my cheek on his shoulder softly smiling up at him. I’ve always admired his perfect bone structure and his stubble makes him look much more mature. My favorite color lies in his eyes. My cheeks tinted pinks, watery eyes, and soft pout on my face causes a small laugh to escape his mouth.

“You’re so beautiful. You seem happier than when you moved, it suits you” his eyes scan over my face landing on my eyes “I missed you life’s not the same without you here” he continues looking at me, taking in every detail, wanting to remember this new version of me. “I love you” he says with a slight chuckle to ease the tension he might have created.

“That’s the first thing I thought when I saw you, you seem more confident and happy, still clumsy but you look at peace with where you are. All I could think about for 8 months was coming back and being here with you. The camera doesn’t do you justice” I say. The words I’ve been wanting to say for so long dance on my tongue, nervous to show themselves. “I love you”. Finally.

Hearing that makes him smile, making me smile. I can’t not smile when he does it’s irresistible. Placing a sweet kiss to my forehead, I nuzzle my head back into the crook of his neck as he holds me closer.

“I wasn’t aware I picked a romance movie, gross” Nick says with disgust and sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Change isn’t always a bad thing, it leads you to exactly what you need in life at the right time.

taglist: @antisocialties @iluvmatt @dwntwn-strnlo @fake-coolbeans @opheliaofficial07 @angelcake-222 @oneirophobic @strniolo

[diaperdaddies27]

Happy Mothers Day Post/ Update

Firstly, the big question I'm sure a lot of you want to know is, am I still going 24/7? Yes. Though, I can't say I haven't had moments of fatigue just from getting in my head as of late. However, I have stuck it through and truly feel all the better for it. Have I started losing control?! Yes, and no. I definitely after six months can say I have been struggling to feel the need to hold it past just when my bladder is full. Like when my brain wants to go, I just do. I don't have the second thought I used to have, or the worry of will my diaper hold it. Because I just have naturally been letting go so much. I definitely would say my control is waning. In the next 6 months at the year mark, I definitely feel I will have experienced some true accidents. I also get a lot of questions on how I can afford diapers regularly on a budget. Having received this a few times, I have started composing a guide to how I buy diapers. I plan to publish tonight or tomorrow for all the littles looking for the info. Quick baby math for you, kiddos. If you get a pack of 10 diapers for $40. That is an average of $4 dollars a diaper. That's a lot of money for just one pamper. Especially when sometimes packs get a bad one or even two. Then you're out $4 dollars and short on supply. Now you buy 80 diapers at $220. That's an average of $2.69 a diaper. Saving you roughly about $1.31. Which adds up. I know bulk seems scary, but the savings plus the amount you get each time. Makes do this system worth while, and affordable.

Next, I want to talk about my Mama. Just today, I told her that words will never do her justice. Because to me, she is truly exceptional and one of a kind. She is a natural nurturer. Not a day passes do I feel I can't talk to her about anything. She is always looking out for me and wondering about how I am. I wake most mornings to her. Good morning, texts. Waking me into the world. She makes me feel confident and safe about my life choices to be a little. Not only that, she wants to care for me just as much as I crave to be in arms. Every day, I grow antsy waiting to be with her irl. Knowing once I am, I will never want to let go. I want to lose myself to my little side fully with her. Letting go of the bigg me and just folding into her embrace. I want to be fed baby food, given naps, diaper checks, and changes no matter the time or place, watch cartoons while babbling around my paci trying to show mama, I want to play with toys at her feet while she reads or decides she needs me to service her, I want to nurse from her multiple times daily, have a bed time, be take to the park and out places, let mamaz dress me up. I want to let go and just be her baby fresh and new. I'm so happy I introduced her to Tumblr. I know so many littles message her and ask to feel cared for. To have babysitter for a change. Sharing Mama is hard, but it makes me happy to know she is so loving to so many. It makes me love her even more. She is truly beautiful body and soul. Happy mothers Day, Mama!! @mommyposts10

[liviavanrouge]

Voice Lines about Kioshio

Wriothesley

"Kioshio is such a good kid, when you give him the chance. He reminds me so much of myself growing up and I wanted to give him the chance to find himself instead of being forced to find himself. I hope that one day, he can take my place as Duke of the Fortress, I know that boy will make me so proud."

~

Lyney

"Kioshio saved me once when I was in some deep trouble with people who thought I stole from them. He came out of nowhere and boxed all of the harassers down, I did him a magic trick as a thank you and his eyes lit up like a young child seeing magic for the first time..although I think that was the case with him. I'm glad I got to show him something magical"

~

Lynette

"K-Kioshio...what about him...why is my face red. There's no need for me to answer that. He joins me for tea time and was once a special guest on a magic show me and Lyney did. I don't know much else about him aside from rumors I hear but he's kind to children and helps the elderly, so I can say that he's a pretty great guy"

~

Freminet

"Kioshio....he's nice to me and offers to take care of Pers if I can't take him with me. I came back once to him scowling at anyone who came close to Pers while he was holding him. I thanked him for watching my closest friend and went about my day. The next day I gave him a mini wolf like Pers that he named Perri"

~

Charlotte

"Kioshio is such a nice guy, he helps me get the latest scoop on things before other reporters! Whenever questioning is going on he always points to me and answers all and any questions I have. I know my boundaries though, he set them with me beforehand when it comes to this. Once you earn his trust and loyalty, he's a forever friend"

~

Arlecchino

"Kioshio has impressed me with his abilities, I've seen him interacting with kids from the House of Hearth on several occasions. He offers them candy and gives them shoulder rides, even climbing up or down things to get back things they've lost. Nothing but good things come from the kids if I ask them about him. Mason also says great things about Kioshio..maybe one day I should ask him to babysit the kids since they love him so much"

~

Chevruse

"I've seen Kioshio around, his willpower and kindness towards people is something I've seen on the regular. He's always so soft spoken to the victims of criminals and let's them take their time with explaining things. He holds no mercy for those who hurt the innocent, especially children. Whenever he's doing a criminal chase I toss him my gun and he takes it from there. He's such an amazing kid"

~

Navia

"Oh sweet Kioshio! He helps me out whenever the wind blows my hat or umbrella away. Me and him work together at times to catch criminals and he has quite the knack for it! Hehe! He calls me his Partner in Catching Crime and it always brings a smile to my face! Phibee also enjoys seeing Kioshio around when he visits. When he becomes the new Duke I hope to be the first to congratulate him!"

~

Sigewinne

"Kioshio is a nice guy, he doesn't mind helping me tend to patients and holds the more wild ones down so I can perform first aid. He's protective of me too I can tell and I just....I hope one day he becomes the Duke. He deserves it with how hard he works with Wriothesley to change his course in life. Next time I see Kioshio, I'll give him some paper flowers hand made"

~

Chiori

"Kioshio? Ah yes...he's such a good boy, always comes to check up on me and brings me my favorite food and drink. Whenever there are troublesome customers in the shop, he's just a simple call away and he scares them off while I work. I personally made his outfit as thanks to him for helping me with the latest most troublesome customer. I'll keep quiet on what the boy did, let's just say the customer decided to throw themselves out the window after a threat he made"

~

Furina

"Kioshio? He's a little scary to me but he's a sweetheart. He's a grouchy one of course despite that and you never see him not wandering around Fontaine. He checks up on any and everybody starting from the children and working up to the elderly. He's even kind to criminals who give themselves up willingly and dare I say to kids his age who got into...trouble with the wrong people. Him stopping that rock slide that day....I can confidently say that Kioshio has found his sense of self and the path he wishes to follow from now on"

~

Neuvillette

"Kioshio is going to go down in history as someone who saved Fontaine. He was so heroic going to stop the rock slide from destroying some of Fontaine. Who knew what would've happened had he not pieced things together. I know Wriothesley is so proud of him, and I was so happy when he adopted the boy. One day, he's gonna become the greatest Duke anyone has ever seen"

~

Clorinde

"Kioshio's strong resolve and his loyalty towards others who earn it is something I admire about him. When he wanted to learn how to wield a gun, he learned quite quickly and knew how to use it responsibly. I see much greatness in that child's future, with Wriothesley teaching him, he is going to grow into a strong but gentle adult, I wouldn't be surprised if that boy ended up saving other regions like he did for Fontaine"

[lucigoo]

Weekly Roundup: 18th November - 24th November

Hey hey all (sorry were late againm but at least its only 1 day not 4 months .... lol)

So, I have written 5,495 words this week, which isnt a whole lot, but ut has made me hit my 50,000 word goal this month so WHOOP!!! Im at 51,505 words for November at the moment. I also finished another 2 wips, so of my 63 wips, I have finished 11 and im feeling pretty proud tbh.

But, as always, here are the fic recs for others first!

Value - didoandis - Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Geralt/Jaskier, soulmate au)

Summary: The four lives of Julian Alfred Pankratz: noble, sex slave, soulmate, bard.

roots - not1_2write - Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Geralt/Jaskier, Warlord au. This is legit one of myfav fics ever!)

Summary: Jaskier saves the Warlord's daughter. Despite his family ties, he's allowed to stay in Kaer Morhen while he recovers from his injuries. Eventually, it becomes home.

No Grave Can Hold My Body Down @chaoticangel666 (Bilbo/Thorin, get your tissues ready!)

Summary: Bilbo returns to The Shire after the Battle of the Five Armies. He might be going insane though, because why does the ghost of Thorin Oakenshield keep showing up when he least expects it?

Follows the events from the end of The Hobbit until the end of The Lord of the Rings.

Under the Eucalyptus [+Podfic] - xinasvoice - Harry Potter (Sirius/Remus, muggle au with wonderful disablity rep)

Summary: On his first day working at the queerest zoo in the Australian outback, Remus meets Sirius, whose smile is bright enough to knock him over. Sirius doesn’t speak aloud, but that doesn’t stop either of them from falling in love.

A soft romance about the value of slowing down enough to listen to each other and watch the sun rise.

I Was Pledged to You, To You I Pledge Myself - anarchycox - Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Geralt/Jaskier, alternate first meeting, its just cute asf tbh)

Summary: When he is four, Jaskier escapes out his window to avoid a boring family dinner where his cousin was getting betrothed to someone. He just wanted to hear the frogs. Frogs sound neat.

That daring escape, and the rescue that it required changed his whole fate, because he was the one who ended up betrothed to a witcher - the plan to marry when he was 20. He didn't really care he got to hear the frogs croak, what did he care about this Geralt of Rivia?

As he grows up though, he ends up caring a great deal.

Scenes from Jaskier's life of meeting every witcher but his betrothed, until one day in a shitty tavern, he finally meets Geralt.

ruffled - PenAndInkPrincess - Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Geralt/Jaskier, Fae Jaskier au)

Summary: Supper secured and stuffed away in his trousers, he looks up to find the silver-haired stranger in the corner, the one person who hadn’t heckled him. The man is objectively gorgeous, with fascinating hair and a body that makes Jaskier’s mouth water a little.

Oh yes, he decides quickly, he will be climbing this stranger like a tree.

He’s a little wrong-footed when he works out that the stranger is a witcher with big scary swords Jaskier’s heard horror stories about, but after a quick moment of thought, he also thinks about how very many things the fae elders have been wrong about all his life and decides to ignore them once again. The witcher–Geralt of supposedly Rivia, even though Jaskier can tell from his accent that that’s a lie–tries to get rid of him, but Jaskier is nothing if he’s not determined, and he’s simply too damn interested to get scared off easily.

The witcher has clearly not realized that Jaskier is something to be hunted, and Jaskier, well, he’s never excelled at silly things like self-preservation.

As always, I hope you have a wondeful week, see you next time <3

And, as always, here are my fics. As I said, there are only two this week, but im pretty rpoud o the fact thats another two that have just been languising in my wip folder now finished and uploaded!

The Night I Couldn't Stay Beside You - Lucigoo89 - Harry Potter (Remus & Hope, please mind the tags, especially the MCD and grief ones!)

Summary: Its the full moon again. Remus hates each and every one of them, buy especially this one as he looks down a this mother and can do nothing but hope she will still be there when the monster leaves him gain for another month.

All he can do is hope that she stays, thats all he wants, all he will beg and plead and pray for, his mum to still be here with him when he awakens with the moonset.

And last but not least

Finding my fate in the sensory room - Lucigoo89 - Harry Potter (Sirius/Remus, it is a fic for a very dear friend of mine but I hope you all enjoy it to)

Summary: Remus is tired, exhausted more like and so he takes his hyper 4 year old into the empty sensory room to have alittle bit of peace and quiet.

Unbeknownst to Remus, that one action, on that one specific day, would change four lives for the better.

[ineffabeatlemindpalace]

How Our Flag Means Death impacted my life

It’s been said so many times but the impact this to show has had on me is beyond comprehension. I am still living in the aftermath. Every day, I cannot grasp my luck of finding it and loving it. Hyperfixation or not, it’s been a while so I conclude it is safe to be put as a special interest by now; to care so much about something that makes you feel good and understood, is utterly important to have, I have realised.

My experiences in other, different, fandoms on Twitter as a teenager, have been very different and I guess it has something to do with growing up and learning more about yourself as much as it has to do without approach and handling of it all – we are all here for this show and we are damn grateful for its existence. We do not take it for granted and so we lovingly create more art and thereby put more love into the world. Isn’t this what life is all about? Adding care and love.

Coming back to my point, ever since starting to watch Our Flag Means Death, I have had this inner sense of calm inside of me, which I never had before.

It is hard to explain but I did notice that my sensory issues, especially misophonia, have been less of a problem. And that is huge. There is one noise source in particular, which is the fridge, if you want to know, but it can be triggered by anything, and I have been struggling with this for many years… There only has to be some trigger, such as the wind howling too strongly or any other sound, really, and I feel like the world is going to collapse because every thing gets too loud and too much.

Now, for a few months, it hasn’t been like that. It was almost scary at first due to the unfamiliarity of the absence of, well, mental pain…

Regarding the show’s successful portrayal of queerness – yes, that has been life–changing for me as well.

I have identified as nonbinary as long as I can think. I vividly remember this specific moment from my childhood when I was sitting there, on my own, thinking, I do not feel like a girl, I do not feel like any gender, I just feel like myself. It’s a strange memory to have but it was so vivid that I treasure how it stuck with me.

When I was a teenager, I never had any romantic, God forbid sexual, interest, except for the occasional crush on a boy or girl, which naturally made me conclude that I was bi or pan. As of today, I am still not feeling any of these attractions. However, as I explain in this post, some kind of attractions have been felt. One thing is clear, if I do feel anything beyond, it would be for any gender.

The show basically says, whatever, we’re all queer, and that is so beautiful and validating to me because my family and other surroundings are so heteronormative that I often question my validity and worth.

There have barely ever been other queer people in my immediate surroundings, which means that acceptance or even understanding is not something that I would expect.

In hindsight, this is a big part of why I always struggled with confidence and self-love.

There is a lot I could write about my family history but I will just shorten it to, I did grow up without a father from the age of 7 and my relationship with him is rather torn.

I am so moved by how they decided to give Ed and Stede these backstories regarding their relationship with their fathers and families and portray these issues in such a delicate and serious manner and how they can impact your whole life.

I am thankful for how serious they have taken all of these things.

These are characters that have experienced similar difficult upbringings and are struggling with the consequences into their adulthood.

I have never gotten an official diagnosis but from my childhood experiences and later struggles in life it is safe to say that I am neurodivergent. The relationship with my mother is very difficult as well, which definitely played a part in how I never understood that some of my behaviour and so on was a result of being different in that way instead of deliberate. During my childhood and teenage years, there have been instances of different kinds of abuse, however I will not elaborate further.

These struggles are always individual and personal but I will just say that I do suffer from the fear of being abandoned and yes, it makes maintaining relationships, such as friendships, challenging.

Because you constantly feel like you do not deserve anyone caring about you or enjoying your company. Genuinely, I have never believed this.

Even if I have learned to like myself more and be confident in my abilities. I still feel like a burden whenever I am with someone else. It doesn’t go away. Part of it is due to struggling with social cues as well as the general preference of being alone.

And I do enjoy my own company. But it would be nice to one day find someone I can fully trust and freely share my thoughts with.

Basically, what Ed and Stede have found in each other… and I guess what makes them so different to other ships is not only that they are actually a canon couple but the way they are so natural and gentle with each other?!

They accept each other wholeheartedly.

They see each other in such a genuine way… unconditionally. Not without hardships but always with such a willingness to make it better, to keep fighting, continue to live for the sake of love and love only.

Another serious struggle has been my eating disorder (anorexia) which (along with overexercising) lead me to have secondary amenorrhea for many years, which in turn, was a very blissful thing for me due to gender reasons. A big thing that has happened shortly after discovering the show has been my period coming back. My reaction was denial, then anger, then determination that I would not let this bring me down…

The show did ground me in that emotionally, I have handled it, somehow, and carried on.

I am so thankful for it all and much, much more.

There is so much to say and never enough words to express my gratitude. This show means something different to everyone. Everyone finds bits and pieces in it which make them feel the same kind of appreciation and love and this is just my share.

If you’ve made it to the end, thank you, dear reader. Sending you a warm hug, if that’s alright with you.

[non-binarypal7]

15 people, 15 questions (on the 15th! 😄)

Thank you very much for tagging me in this game @xagan @theflagscene @visualtaehyun @telomeke ❣️ I loved learning about y’all 🥰

1) Are you named after anyone?

My middle name was given to me in honor of my great-grandmother (one of her children was also named after her and kept that name her whole life, so I don’t feel bad about the fact that I’m changing both my first and middle names legally 😁) (even if no one else had been named after her there still wouldn’t be any reason for me to feel bad about changing my name to better suit me) 😁😁😁

2) Last time you cried?

A couple days ago in the lead up to a traumatic experience that I won’t go into but on the whole I don’t mind crying!

3) Do you have kids?

No, and I don’t plan on passing on my genes, but I can see myself potentially raising a kid in the distant future. There’s a very good chance that I’ll never be a parent, and I’m extremely fine with that. I think the ideal parenthood situation involves people who are adamantly certain in their desire to be parents (and who are prepared to respect the autonomy and complete personhood of their children) I have lots of other thoughts on parenthood, but I’m veering away from the question 😄

4) What sports do you play/have you played?

My primary sports are tennis and basketball and I really miss playing them. I played them frequently growing up and now it’s been quite a while since I played either, though the last time I played basketball was almost a year ago and it was a satisfyingly homoerotic experience and I played well under pressure, so at least I have that to sustain me until the next time I can play

5) Do you use sarcasm?

I do, but pretty infrequently, and generally only with people who I’m confident will understand and not be confused or hurt by it

6) What’s the first thing you notice about people?

If it’s an in-person meeting, probably their height, mannerisms, accent, facial expressions if I can see their face; if it’s a text-based meeting, probably their writing/spelling/grammar/punctuation style, use of emojis and/or emoticons, etc. + degree of formality for both in-person and online meetings

7) What’s your eye color?

My eyes are a bit of a kaleidoscope of colors, but the most dominant color is green

8) Scary movies or happy ending?

I don’t watch many scary movies, but I can enjoy a scary movie with a (relative to the plot) happy ending, like The Blue Hour directed by P’Nuchy Anucha Boonyawatana 😄 The Blue Hour isn’t extremely scary, but I’ll take any opportunity to encourage people to watch that film 😁

9) Any talents?

I love to sing ☺️

10) Where were you born?

U.S.

11) What are your hobbies?

Writing (predominately fan fiction and poetry, I’d like to journal and write poetry more often), engaging with Thai media, and learning languages (Spanish, Thai, and Japanese are my primary target languages) are currently my main hobbies

12) Do you have any pets?

Yes 🥰 Luna is a wonderful doggy whom I love very much

13) How tall are you?

163.83 cm (5 feet 4 and a half inches)

14) Favorite subject in school?

Ecology

15) Dream job?

I feel capable of being fulfilled in numerous fields - ideally I’d like to help contribute towards environmental activism and sustainable practices, as well as regulations to hold companies accountable for their environmental and socioeconomic impacts

Tagging @dropthedemiurge @thepancakelady @7nessasaryevils @ablazenqueen @fairlylokai @ullvide @topcatnikki @fandork @springkitten @arisprite @wereflamingo @gaym3bo1 @ragingbyesexual @rares-posts @kornswasianguyswag

[quantumshade]

🔥favorite and least favorite doctor who episodes (if you can choose at all lol)

OUGH this is hard... can i do top five and bottom five maybe

bottom five:

let's kill h*tler. do i need to explain this one? i don't think i need to explain this one

spyfall part 2. i don't think i need to explain this one either.

girl in the fireplace. i know that's the one my pfp is from. rose is just so pretty in it. anyway. it's a poorly written episode that gets way too much praise, not to mention just how painfully ooc everyone is. you can really feel how much moffat hates rose in that one. and also it feels so gross when you think about how the real madame de pompadour was groomed from age 6 to be a king's consort and basically allowed no agency in her life whatsoever, coupled with moffat's weird obsession with "someone meets the doctor as a little kid and grows up to be obsessed with him" is so painfully... icky.

kill the moon. outside of being an awful episode with a weirdly anti abortion message, it's the episode that made SO MANY PEOPLE give up on my baby girl twelve. if you stopped watching twelve because of that episode i'm begging you on my knees to give him another shot his era is so so good other than a couple stinkers.

legend of the sea devils. i cannot even begin to express my sheer hatred for this episode. everything about it sucks so so bad and i'm beating it with hammers in my mind 24/7. it's just everything i hate about the chibnall era coalesced into one steaming pile of dogshit.

top five:

heaven sent. sorry to be basic but. heaven sent. i love it so much it's so perfect. and reading it through a classics lens makes it even better. i'm planning on doing the capstone for my degree (partly) on this episode as a modern representation of katabasis. the acting, the music, rachel talalay's directing, g-d. it's so good.

dalek. honestly every single one of nine's episodes fuck so hard and i don't dislike a single one of them. but eccleston really acted his ass off in this one and it's such a wonderful exploration of the doctor's time war trauma. it's the only episode that manages to make daleks scary. rose is amazing in it. "it's not the one pointing a gun at me" and "and what about you, doctor? what the hell are you changing into?" "oh rose. they're all dead" OUGHHHH. the ending hits so fucking hard.

mummy on the orient express. i think i'm legally obligated to put this one on my top five because i have watched it nearly a dozen times this year alone. it's such a good episode. great monster. clara and the doctor both get to be incredibly bisexual. it's the one episode of doctor who in which the phrase "sex machine" exists. what more could you possibly ask for.

the christmas invasion. it's sooooo good it's so good. it's tied with the husbands of river song as my favorite christmas special, but it's higher on my list of Overall Episodes. if that makes sense. again rose is incredible in it. david tennant makes the entrance of all time. they're so in love and so fucking stupid about it. song for ten... well i woke up today... and the world was a restless plaaaace.... it could have been that way for me........

the pilot. bill is gorgeous and perfect and wonderful. twelve being a wacky professor was the best choice anyone has ever made. it's like a crash course in doctor who but also a fun and well made episode with absolutely gorgeous music. i love it i love it i love it. murray gold put the s10 soundtrack on spotify right now.

it's so hard limiting myself to just five... i'm sure i'll think of an episode tomorrow and be like DAMN that should have been on the list... but that's okay <3

[petalsonmoon]

first love is a little foolish. is dangerous when it is also the last.

(english is not my first language so my sincere apologies. gwen didn’t die and they just broke up. life happens).

"getting married seem scary."

you walk with a slow pace without direction, just enjoying how beautiful the hotel garden is.

“perhaps” he answers.

“i mean they knew each other since high school. we” you gesticulate and he lets out a small laugh “we actually saw their love grow during it. we were there so we know they will last. we know their love is real and true.”

“so you’re saying because we’re old now we won’t have that.”

he looks at you and you take a deep breath as if you were thinking about the answer that was on the tip of your tongue “yeah.”

the lightness in your conversation makes you not want to stop talking “no. i’m just saying that being an adult is just… too serious. i can’t help but feel childish using the word crush to describe someone i like to a friend.”

he tilts his head with a small smile on his face. he haven’t change one bit.

“you may have a point.”

“right???”

“but we can find true love as an adult… and we have the maturity and perception of the world that makes a relationships last.” he points to where the party was happening with his head “they were just lucky. and had time on their favor.”

"wise words.”

“i know you remember i was the top student of our class” you roll your eyes at his words.

a breeze hits you as if it wanted to show that it was listening to your conversation.

“i just really miss the simplicity of high school." the drink in your hand was starting to get hot. you take a sip and feel the alcohol warm you up.

"it's a way to put it."

you lean against the wall outside the hotel. "you don't agree."

"i didn't say that."

"but you have remarks." you see an almost imperceptible smile on his face.

"it was simple because we didn't have to worry about reality so much. but i really don't miss being that emotionally vunerable."

he stops walking in front of you. he looks at the ground like he’s lost in his own head, as if he were thinking about the reason for saying what he said. it’s easy to come to the conclusion that he is the most beautiful man of the party. the most beautiful you've ever seen if you're being honest to yourself.

but like he said, let's not let our emotions speak louder.

"well some of us didn't date the most beautiful girl of the entire school at the time, parker" hearing his laugh takes you directly to 6 years ago, when you both were still in high school. "some of us were actually losers."

"you were not a loser."

"oh i was more than that. i was a nobody."

"that's dramatic." he looks at you with a teasing smile but with a gentle voice. something about this man makes you wanna tell him all your secrets and insecurities because you were sure he would never judge you or your choices. "i saw you."

"did you?"

"of course." he frowns lighly. "your headphones were like a part of you, an organ. you got angry very easily with your loose hair so you always ended up tying it. you had this keychain that always announced when you were getting close, and it was really sweet when you never once forgot to give me a good morning before bending down to your locker bellow mine."

if he had continued you were certain your eyes would have filled with tears.

"but you didn't really see me, did you?" you whisper.

his eyebrows rose lightly and you understood it as a sign of confusion. you would never see him again after today, so why not?

"i was too in love with you, parker."

one thing that haven't changed about him was that peter looked into your eyes while you talked to him. he pays attention to people. he listens.

"when you started skateboarding, i made a promise to myself to learn and buy one just so we could have that in common." you laugh a little, trying to distract yourself from the pressure of being watched intensely. "when you appeared with those bruises and black eyes from god knows what i talked to you. i always tried to distract you so you’d smile at least once during a tough day."

you really wish you had a bottle of champagne on your hand right now.

"i couldn't do much because... you know."

you couldn't look away from his tie but you were able to see him nodding. he was in a relationship for gods sake. a beautiful one.

despite everything, your head being like a hurricane of thoughts your racing heart and warm body, you smile. "you broke my heart peter parker but you also were the reason for it beating faster."

and yet the chocolate brown of his eyes was cozy. it's impossible not to like Peter Parker.

he takes a deep breath. the next few seconds are filled with an indescribable silence and it's almost as if nothing had happened.

in a slow movement he takes his hand to your free one. he takes it gently but doesn't make any more movements, just watches you holding hands.

"saving up to buy a skateboard. such a loser."

"ridiculous."

"and did you learn?"

"a little. but the uncertainty of not knowing if i wouldn’t just fall and die didn't let me learn completely."

he scoffs. "you're unbearably dramatic."

"i'm just saying you can fall from that thing and hit your head on the corner of a table. so dangerous."

you hardly notice his thumb caressing in your hand causing butterflies to fly in your stomach. jesus y/n you're an adult. what is this.

“i see you now.” his voice is so sincere that you can't divert your eyes from his.

“it’s the first time we see each other in 6 years pretty boy.”

you don’t really know why your voices are so low. but it makes you feel like you’re in your own little world.

“and yet” he takes a step forward and a breeze hits you, as if she were encouraging him. “you are childishly blushing right now.”

you lower your head, leaning your forehead on his shoulder. you don’t really know what to say anymore.

“it’s okay to feel nervous around a crush, lovely”

you silently laugh “you’re always so calm.”

“so you’re not hearing my heart going insane over there?”

with his free hand he raises your head until you find his eyes. mesmerizing.

his forehead meets yours. you could feel his thumb caressing your cheek.

so he kisses you. a warm and slow kiss. it has a meaning though you can’t really understand it yet.

you feel a drop of water on your forehead but you take your time to slip up. there’s no rush.

he moves away and hugs you tight. your heart relaxes.

[will80sbyers]

I knew and didn't know at the same time, at first I didn't have the words to describe it and I thought everybody felt that way but then I started to receive the message - I don't know how or from where - that it wasn't something people were supposed to do or like, it was weird and I was already weird enough without adding that to the list, so I was straight because everybody was straight and I was supposed to like boys so I had to put away the extreme jealousy I felt for my first best friend because it was weird and I had to only look at boys... Then I started to learn that it was ok I guess? and "love is love" but being bisexual is just something that people that want attention do and it's mostly because they liked having sex(omg!) with a lot of people and they also only did that because guys found it sexy...! Well, it is but... Um, no, just for boys, I mean... Then growing up I luckily stumbled on feminism 101 and got a few of those bs ideas out of my mind but I had always been straight so there was no point in thinking about it anymore I had found a boy I liked a lot and oh yeah that's love and yeah I do like boys for sure. After the first heartbreak of my life here she comes, the most beautiful girl I've ever seen is in my school but the reason I go and introduce myself in a very extroverted way is not because I knew that I liked her but because "she had good vibes and I felt like I had to introduce myself" cut to a few years later and we are best friends now but I feel so weird around her all the time and I don't know why and sometimes I think I'm having gay thoughts but actually it's just that everybody has weird thoughts like that it's normal and we are both dating guys anyway...I'm not comfortable cuddling with girls because I don't like people touching me anyway unless we are dating that's the only reason... I'm not comfortable changing in front of girls or watching them change because I am not ok with how my body looks and it's just insecurities and wanting privacy.... That's it.

I'm not having weird thoughts when I look. Because sometimes I look.

Cut to the second heartbreak of my life and losing her because I was too depressed to reach out and I let the friendship slowly die and we didn't go to school together anymore and she was dating someone and I wasn't... I was still straight in my mind.

Then things get better and I meet the second boy that I've been in love with and make new friends and start so many tv shows and these shows are... Not straight, and then I join a fandom online and at the same time start meeting a bunch of queer people in my old university but I'm still " straight!!!!" so I feel out of place(I was in the closet and didn't want to think about being queer at all) and don't pursue those friendships and then I end up leaving because it's not the right university (no one will ever be) and then one year later I'm still in love with my boyfriend but I can't deny it anymore and now I'm feeling good about it actually, it's scary but I'm taking a bit of confidence in it and letting myself think and imagine a relationship with a woman and it's nice. I can see myself in it. I'm okay and I'm bisexual and I start telling my friends...

and here we are lots of years after the third heartbreak of my life I'm still bisexual... as I always was 💗💜💙

[weird-dere-writes]

@kweenkatsuki-fics this post this is to answer your question about the flowers in the tags on the proposal post! And perhaps give a little insight on me as well :3.

Ichigo got and put those flowers on the sides of that letter both because he simply knew I liked them but also because they have a meaning too! One I taught him about uwu.

Water lilies and lotuses are technically different flowers, but they are essentially the same to me (at least aesthetic wise) uwu. And both have very similar meanings. They are my favorite flowers 🪷🩷 (like how you love sunflowers! 🌻🤎).

Water lilies are often associated with birth and resurrection, purity and majesty, and enlightenment

Lotuses, similarly, symbolize rebirth and purity, with the added meaning of overcoming adversity

As far as lotuses go specifically, I heard something from an art therapist I used to watch a lot (cus i wanted to and perhaps still do want to be one, one day). She learned it from someone else too ofc. But the saying is "No mud, no lotus".

Based on how lotuses (and water lilies) push up out of the mud to bloom into their pretty selves. The adage meant to remind one that you cannot grow into something more beautiful or just more in general without going through something hard that might teach you things.

Idk the idea of rebirth in general is just something so close to me because i am always wanting to grow and evolve into a better version of myself. I want to experience a rebirth of sorts in my body, my character, my style, my intellect and more many many times. Get comfortable with the idea of change so it isn't always as scary when it counts. Its why I want my first tattoo to be an ankh on top of a lotus/waterlily 🫶🏾. Just something really simple n relatively small.

Anyways back to the proposal. Like I said, Ichi got those flowers because he knew I like them. But I think deep down he also wants them to represent two things.

What he feels I've done as his partner and love so far. He feels I've changed him for the better; made him a new man. He feels like his life is different with me; he thinks differently. And perhaps he thinks me to be majestic too~ <3.

What he wants for our relationship to be going forward. He wants our love to be pure and true, and something only we share with one another. He wants us to continue discovering new things about one another and to grow/evolve together (as individuals and when we come together as a couple uwu). And most importantly he wants us to come out of hard times stronger :,))).

also gonna tag @katsukikitten @strawberrystepmom and @burnishedcrown for some more ichidere and also just twyla lore 😚💋💋💋💋

[f1luver-95]

Fate Charles Leclerc Story…

…Chapter 1…

                 ...January 2022...

Today was the day.... the day that I would be walking down the aisle to my future. It's scary to think that at 26 years old I will be someone's wife.

I can't help but smile as I remember the times when I was five years old dressing up in our mothers wedding dresses with my best friend Lucy. We would dream about how our lives would be as we grew up. 

We would always say that no matter what or no matter where we were in the world we would always be there for each other through the good, the bad and the ugly. Lucy has always been my person, we were inseparable growing up, and too this day we are still inseparable. She is the only person besides my family that I can count on, she loves me unconditionally. 

It's crazy how much has changed since the days when we would dress up in wedding dresses and plan our imaginary weddings. 

Looking at myself in the mirror... my blue eyes starring back at me as I took a deep breath. 

My long brown hair in a low bun with wisps of hair framing my face. My freckles hidden under the layers of makeup that I never usually wore, I looked unrecognizable. 

The nerves of the wedding making me feel nauseous. I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and that I could throw up at any minute. 

I could feel a small tear form at the corner of my eye as it slowly rolled down my cheek. I reached up and wiped it away as I contemplated my next move. I had watched enough romantic movies to know, I wasn't supposed to be feeling this way on my wedding day.

Was it cold feet or was it my body telling me that marrying him was not the right decision? 

Before I met Jake I was a different person then the one staring back at me today. 

But now that I'm staring at my reflection in the mirror, I'm starting to hate the person I have become. I have become someone who lets herself be manipulated, treated like crap and never stands up for herself, because I was scared to rock the boat. 

I've become the women who begs to be loved by the person who is treating her horribly.

I have been so focused on making him happy that I have neglected myself, and what I needed to make myself happy. 

Growing up my parents made sure that my sister and I always knew how strong and powerful we are. Somewhere along the way I lost that sense of empowerment, and all I wanted was to get that feeling back.

I  used to love going on adventures. Lucy and I were constantly going on fun adventures, traveling the world and exploring different countries and cultures. 

Heck I even spent my early 20's living in Australia and England, working as a live in nanny. 

Working with children is one of the only things that truly made me feel happy and free.  Like I can be 100 percent myself.... I  feel confident and I'm not afraid of being judged when I am with children. 

I could escape from my head, the part of me that is constantly worried about people judging me. So I made it my mission to make working with children my career. 

Jake always hated that I chose to work with children as my career. I would always hear 'get a real job,' 'your job is so easy anyone could do it... I could even do it if I wanted too.' 

Every single time he would make those comments he made me feel useless and worthless. 

Did I  really want to marry someone who made me feel this way? 

If you asked me six years ago about my wedding day, I would have told you it would have been the best day of my life. 

Things at the beginning were perfect, he swept me off my feet and made me feel so loved and like I was his priority. 

Sadly things have been different ever since Jake proposed to me. His mom moved in with us when she divorced her fifth husband.  The second that she told Jake she was getting a divorce she started making statements that she couldn't be on her own and that she needed her son to take care of her. The next day Jake packed up her stuff and she moved in with us... not that I had much say as I was the one to move in with Jake. 

Over time it became evident that he was slowly choosing her over me, canceling our dates so that he could be there for his mom. 

I absolutely hated it when I was alone with her because she would make comments like, 'why are you on birth control and using condoms? Your supposed to be giving me grand babies...' meaning that she went through our garbage can in our bedroom. 

Every time I would tell Jake what she would say to me he would not believe me. After a while I wouldn't tell him, because what was the point if he wasn't going to believe me anyway. 

It was almost like he had only proposed because his mom forced him. He was not interested in any part of the wedding planning and every time I mentioned it to him he would roll his eyes or not even look at me, to busy playing his video game.

Every time he would get mad at me he would tell me he loved me a little bit less each time. He would make comments that I was stupid or dumb when I didn't understand something.

I couldn't help but wonder if I was making the right decision by marrying him. 

Did I truly love him, or did I love the idea of getting married and starting a family? 

Everything was setup for the wedding. We had booked a hotel venue, that has a gorgeous event room that over looked the Miami waters. 

I heard a knock on the door, breaking me from my thoughts. 

I turned around in the chair I was sitting in and saw my little sister Katie and Lucy walk into the room, a nervous look on both their faces. 

"What's wrong?" I questioned as I quickly jumped up from the seat I was sitting in and rushed over to them. Fearing that something had gone wrong with the venue set up. 

Katie was in charge of making sure the tables were set just the way I had envisioned. And Lucy was the person the vendors were supposed to contact if there was something wrong. 

"We are so worried about you, you have not seemed happy the couple of years but especially the last 6 months. You are supposed to be so happy leading up to your wedding." Lucy said as she pulled me into a big hug.

"Danielle, please don't be mad at us. We did it because we love you, and you deserve to do the things that make you happy." My little sister Katie said as she walked farther into the room I was occupying holding a small white envelope in her hands.

I looked at her, curious. "What are you talking about?" 

"Just read the letter." Lucy said as she looked down, afraid to look me in my eyes. 

My eyes glanced down at the letter that was now in my hands. I looked at the address that the letter came from and it came from Monaco, which confused me even more. I didn't know anyone from Monaco. I quickly opened the letter and began to read. 

Dear Ms. Danielle Andersen, 

Thank you so much for applying for the nanny position. 

We are extremely impressed with your resume, and your experience as a live in nanny in both England and Australia. Your previous employers could not say enough good things about you. 

We look forward to welcoming you into our home and into our busy lifestyle, we believe you are the perfect fit.  

We look forward to getting to know you better, 

Kelly Piquet and Max Verstappen 

I looked up from the letter shocked, what has just happened? What had I just read? 

Max Verstappen... wasn't he the formula 1 racer? 

I didn't know much about the sport just that he was consistently winning races. 

They wanted ME to be their nanny...

Just the thought of traveling to new places made my heart jump in excitement... Something that I hadn't felt in a while. 

"Oh, Katie... Lucy" I started before pausing, trying to find the right words to say as a tear slowly started to roll down my cheek. 

My head spinning as a million different thoughts ran though my head. 

I thought about the letter I just read, and the marriage I was about to jump headfirst into... the marriage that seemed to be already falling apart at the seams. 

"Elle, I have seen you suffering in silence for years. I've seen you slowly lose your light and your beautiful smile." Lucy said as she cupped my face between her hands, using one of her thumbs to gently brush away the tear that was slowly running down my face. 

I could see her take a deep breath as Katie started speaking. 

"We miss your smile; we miss your adventurous spirit. The moment you met Jake, you have been slowly but surely losing yourself to make him shine and be happy. When has he ever put you first? When has he ever established boundaries with his mom? You spent 4 years in a relationship where all you did was put them first. For gods sake you neglected your own happiness to provide and take care of them." 

Katie took another deep breath as she pulled me into her arms for a big hug.

"Last week we were looking for nanny jobs overseas for you, and this one popped up. I quickly called Lucy and we decided that we should apply for you; we hoped you would get it. So, you could leave this place, and start over."

Tears welled in my eyes as I pulled both her and Lucy into a big group  hug. 

My wedding dress suddenly feeling a little bit tighter than when I put it on 10 minutes prior, as the nerves of what I was about to do started to get the better of me. 

"Katie, you're supposed to be the little sister, when did you get so wise?" I said as I gave her a big hug, thankful for the comfort as tears started to roll down my face. 

"I'm going to do it. I have been sacrificing my happiness for way too long. Traveling and being a nanny makes me happy. Now I just need to go tell Jake that I don't want to get married anymore." 

"I love you big sis! Now go tell Jake, I'll go tell mom and dad that the wedding is cancelled." Katie said as she gave me a big hug. "I'm so proud of you for finally choosing you, for finally doing what is going to make you happy." 

"I'll go tell the venue and the vendors that the wedding is cancelled." Added Lucy as she gave me another big hug, before making her way down to the event space. 

I picked up the glass of champagne that was sitting of the table beside me and chugged it before making my way out of the room and down the hall was to where Jake was getting ready for our wedding. 

'That's odd.' I thought as I noticed a pair of red heels right by the door of the suit, that the hotel wedding venue had given us. 

With each step I took I could feel my heart beating faster and faster as I noticed things around the room. 

Looking for any sign or signal that something was not right. 

Every step I took, I could feel my heart sink as the realization started to sink in. 

The further I stepped in the room the more I noticed, there were two glasses of half drank wine sitting beside a box of untouched chocolate covered strawberry, and an opened box of condoms. 

'What the fuck?' I questioned. I could feel my body start to shake in anticipation of what I was about to see next. 

When I got to the door of bathroom, I could hear the sound of the shower running, as well as the sounds of loud moans echoed through the room. 

Instantly my heart dropped, 'how could he do this to me on our wedding day?' I could feel the tears weld up in my blue eyes. 

I was not going to let him see me cry, I was not going to give him the satisfaction of letting him see me hurt. 

I took a deep breath and mustered up all the courage I could, as I reached for the door handle. 

"Elle" screamed Jake as soon as he saw me. Quickly trying to cover up the person he was having an affair with his body. 

To my surprise, the person he was having sex was my childhood friend Alexis. 

"YOU!" I screamed as I pointed at him, "How could you? And with my friend." 

"Elle, let me explain" stuttered Jake as he frantically reached around for a towel as he stepped out of the shower. 

I looked over towards Alexis and I could see her smirking at me. Just the sight of her smirking at me made my anger boiling inside of me come to a head. 

"Elle, babe. It's not my fault that you couldn't satisfy Jake sexually. I'm only giving him what you couldn't." Alexis said as she twirled soaking wet blond hair around her ring finger, the biggest smirk on her face. 

"Alexis, babe" I mimicked " a little word of advice, he's only with you because you made it easy for him. Do yourself a favour and get out now. You don't want to have to deal with him or his mother."

"And YOU, are you fucking kidding me... after everything I have put up with for you. You couldn't do the decent thing and tell me you wanted to end things instead of cheating on me with my friend. I dealt with the constant lies and manipulation from both you and your mother. I had to live with the controlling behaviours, afraid to stand up for myself.  I put up with all of that for you because I loved you. I put your happiness before my own. I stopped doing the things I love because of you. I was losing myself to make you happy. And you didn't even notice, you were too busy fucking my best friend."

Quickly I slipped off the engagement ring that had been on my ring finger for the last for two years, throwing it on the ground as I walked out of the room, my head held high so that they did not have the satisfaction of seeing me cry. 

When I got into my car the tears ran down my cheeks like a waterfall as I desperately tried to wipe them away. 

"Fuck them." I screamed out in frustration as I put my car in dive. 'I deserve better than the way he treated me. I'm going to find someone who treats me better than Jake ever did'

I quickly turned onto the highway and made my way to the apartment I had been living in for the past 3 years. 

In record time I packed up my belongings and put them into the trunk of my vehicle. Thankfully I didn't have much things at the apartment. 

I drove to my parents house to drop off my belongings, as I only planned on bringing my carryon and one suitcase. 

I was going to drive to the airport and hop on the first flight out to Monaco so I could start me new adventure. I was not going to let anything stop me from being myself and happy again. 

I could see my parents standing at the door, waiting for me when I pulled into their driveway.

"Oh Elle," my mother said as she pulled me into a big hug as soon as I stepped out of the car. "I'm so proud of you, what you did takes a lot of courage and strength." 

"Hey, it's my turn to hug her now." My dad teased as he pulled me from my mothers arms and gave me a big hug. I couldn't help but smile as a tear rolled down my cheek, there is something about a fathers embrace that makes you feel safe and loved. "I'm so proud of the women you are today. I will always be here to support you, no matter what." 

"Hey! Is it my turn yet? Elle has a plane to catch" Katie whined as she pulled me into her arms for a big hug. "Love you big sister, amazing things are about to come your way. Please promise me something... If love comes knocking on your door, please don't be afraid to answer it. I have a feeling your person is on his way to you." 

"I promise." I said giggling. 

"Here's your plane ticket." Dad said as he handed me a plane ticket. "As soon as Katie told us about the job opportunity we booked your flight." 

"But how did you know you I was going to take the job?" 

"We had faith that you would finally see what we have been seeing for the last three years. You deserve the world Elle. Fight for what you want and don't settle just because your afraid of the unknown." My father said as he pulled me close for another hug. 

"If you ever need us, please call and we will be on the first flight to you." My mother added as she gave me one last hug. 

I waved goodbye to my sister and parents and hopped into a Uber making my way to the Miami airport to start my new adventure.

Once I got to the airport I thanked the driver and made my way inside the airport my carry one and suitcases wheeled behind me. 

There was only a small crowd of people at the airport, so checking into the flight and going through security was effortless. 

Before making my way to the gate, I stopped by the Starbucks and got myself a grande ice Carmel macchiato. 

I was just about to start walking when I felt something knocking into me, causing the coffee I was holding in my arms to spill all over me. 

"Oof" I gasped out, looking down at my now coffee stained white T-shirt. 

"oh mon dieu." The handsome stranger said, as he looked down at my now stained t-shirt. 

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking." 

His thick French accent catching my attention. 

I looked up at the stranger who had bumped into my me and I couldn't help but get lost in his beautiful green eyes. 

I could see a faint blush on his cheeks as he was embarrassed about knocking into me. 

"Please don't worry, it was an accident. I also wasn't paying attention to where I was going." I said smiling at the stranger hoping to make him feel better about the whole situation. 

"Anyways, I  kind of like the new look. I know I usually drink my coffee not wearing it, but I think this could be a new fashion trend." I joked trying to make this beautiful stranger laugh. 

It was music to my ears when his laugher filled the air. 

"Here, please take my sweatshirt. It's the least I can do for ruining your shirt." He said as he pulled the hoodie  over his head and held it out for me to take. 

"Oh no, really it's okay." I said as I tried to hand back the hoodie that was now in my hands. 

"Please." He begged, as he smiled at me. 

"Fine," I huffed admitting defeat as I pulled the hoodie over my head, catching a whiff of the cologne he was wearing. Damn he smelled amazing. "Thank you." 

"It's the least I could do, it looks better on you anyways." He said as he ran his fingers through his hair smiling. The movement, allowed me to see his bicep muscles that were peaking out from his white t-shirt. 

"Calling passengers on flight 130 to Italy. The plane is ready for boarding. Calling all passengers in first class to board first"  Rang through the speakers throughout the airport.

"That's me." The stranger sighed as he gave me a small smile. "Have a safe flight." 

"You too." I said as I watched him walk towards his gate. 

I couldn't help but giggle as I thought about what just happened, as I made my way to my gate. This kind of stuff happens in movies... not to normal people like me. 

                  …Charles's POV…

As I rushed to reach my gate, my mind couldn't help but drift to the beautiful brown hair, blue eyed women. 

I couldn't get the pictures of her wearing my hoodie out of my mind, the way it hung loosely on her petite body. 

The images of her smiling face engraved into my mind the moment I bumped into her spilling all her coffee on her. 

Thankfully she was drinking an ice coffee or the accident would have been more serious. 

The sound of her laugh when she joked with me about me spilling her coffee all over her. I could tell that she was trying to make me feel better about the whole situation.

As I reached the gate, slightly out of breath I could see my little brother Arthur standing at the gate waiting for me to board. 

"Bro, What took you so long?" He questioned as he saw me rush towards him a big smile on my face. "Dude, why are you smiling like that? And what the hell happened to your sweatshirt?" 

"Bro, I think I just ran into my future wife." I sighed as her adorable smile pierced through my mind. "I just wish there was some way, I could find her again." 

I quickly told him what happened as i handed the lady at the gate my passport, and boarding pass. 

"Bro, if it's meant to be you will run into her again, hopefully not making a fool of your self this time." Arthur teased as we walked towards our seats.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Seven Several Sentences Sunday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

FANON speculation for season 7

Tagged by: @spotsandsocks​.  Thank you for tagging me💕.

___________

I’m sharing seven several sentences from chapter 5 of “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

I’m so excited about Chapter 5 for several reasons but mainly because Buck and Eddie finally face their toxic parents so they can talk about things they’ve been avoiding, i.e., Helena’s impulsive need to control her children and the rest of the secret the Buckleys have been hiding about Buck’s conception.

___________

Here are two snippets from chapter 5 since Eddie’s still in El Paso and Buck surprises his parents after he arrives in Hershey.

___________

Eddie argues with Helena

Helena looks down then back up at him. “Maria told us the fire captain who went to Dennis and Patricia’s house offered you a job here in El Paso so why don’t you just accept it and move back home? I can help you with Christopher’s care and you wouldn’t have to travel all the way from Los Angeles every time I want to see you.”

Eddie huffs and furrows his brow.  “Mom, there’s a lot of I’s in what you just said and you want me to move back home.  We don’t live here anymore…  our lives are in L.A.”

Eddie hadn’t realized it until he said the words out loud that his and Chris’ home is not in El Paso anymore but he’s so frustrated with his mom trying to control him that he pushes the words down in a box so he can deal with them later.

Helena scowls at him but he’s undeterred.

Eddie frowns at the look she gives him then in a low voice he asks, “Why are you always trying to control me?”

She snaps back, “When have I ever tried to control you?”

“Well… let’s see… you tried to take my son from me before I moved to L.A. You’re constantly making negative and rude comments in front of everyone about what you think Chris can and can’t do and you make him feel like a baby. He asked me why you always do that and I tried to explain it but the truth is you did the same thing to me when I was growing up.”

She shakes her head no and exasperatedly responds, “When did I… I never did that Eddie, that’s not true.”

“It is true because you had something negative to say about everything I did and every choice I made.  You were never satisfied unless I did what you wanted me to do.  You belittled Chris’ mother and you’re still doing it but she’s been dead for more than five years.”

Buck’s parents finally tell him the truth

“We had to try Evan; I mean we loved Daniel even though he was…” Phillip trails off, shakes his head then continues. “We couldn’t just sit around and let him die.  Now that you know the whole truth, me saying it again won’t change anything but Daniel was our son.”

A horrifying laugh escapes Buck’s lips and it surprises not only his parents but it surprises him too since it sounds terrifyingly scary.

“Well… I’m your son too but you never tried to save me not even once!”

Margaret and Phillip gasp.

Buck keeps looking at them and he doesn’t look away when he says, “A few months ago, you watched me while I was in a coma for days and I almost died… and you’ve known about this my whole life but you didn’t tell me… why?”  He shakes his head in disbelief.

When they don’t respond he says, “Mom, I guess your actions explain everything you’ve ever said to me and about me.”

“Evan, what do you… I mean how so?”  Margaret asks.

All the memories from his childhood come flooding back and he continues.

“You mean you don’t remember… because I do.  You despised me when I was growing up but now… I—I finally know why.  You never wanted me in the first place and the reason has always been because of your secret, am I right?”

He can see his mother visibly swallow but he’s undeterred and he keeps talking.

“You literally hated me and that’s why you told dad when I was five years old after I fell off Daniel’s bike, “We live with a reminder every day!”  I remember it and now I know that I’m a reminder of what you did and you can’t stand to look at me!”

___________

Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Will be posted soon.

__________

I’m enjoying writing this fic because it’s giving me the chance to unravel the mess that was the 6x18 ending for Buck, Eddie and Chris.  Also, it’s taking them places the show refuses to go including Buck driving to Hershey, PA to face his parents and Eddie trying to decide if he should accept a job with the EPFD and relocated himself and Chris back to El Paso.

Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading

Read chapters 1, 2, 3 & 4 on AO3.

No pressure tagging: @shortsighted-owl​