#i live in california all of these drawings are lies

[david-talks-sw]

"The Acolyte" wasn't 'woke' propaganda.

I had my issues with the show (you can check out my other posts to see what they were) but there's this notion that The Acolyte was created to spread The Message™ of "woke propaganda"... and I think there's a bit of a mix-up going on, there.

Because that's simplifying things a lot.

When you're a minority, you're not "being woke" when you're just being yourself! Conversely, you're not "writing to be woke" when you're a minority drawing inspiration from your personal experiences to tell a story.

I talked before about how George Lucas implemented elements of his personal life in his own films. In his own words:

"There's no way to write without writing from yourself. Y'know, the stuff gets made out of things that you care about… whether you've actually lived them or not. There are emotional issues that you deal with, and I think that's always a major factor with any writer. I don’t think— it's hard to write without having some kind of emotional connection to the material. I've never seen any reason not to. It’s easy to write that way. It's hard to write in the abstract. So when I write a scene, I write a scene that moves me or I care about, or is something that is personal to me." - George Lucas, Q&A with Lynne Hale, 1994 (StarWars.com)

Any piece of writing worth some salt needs to come from a personal place to some degree because that's where the heart of the story, the truth, lies. That's what an audience will relate to.

Example: The six original Star Wars films are purely George Lucas. As in, everything in those films, from the characters, to the cinematography, to the editing style, etc are all a reflection of who George is as a person and what he stands for:

anti-Vietnam / "fight the corporate & imperial machine"

60s-70s white kid from Modesto, California

single father of three

who defines himself as Methodist-Buddhist,

has an anthropology major and

a passion for Kurosawa,

cinema vérité,

cinema history in general

art and visuals and

car racing.

You see all that in those films.

Same thing with The Acolyte.

Leslye Headland drew from her personal experiences.

Among other things, Leslye is gay. So that's what she uses as inspiration to, for instance, craft Qimir's character motivation.

"I was on the treadmill being like, “What is [Qimir] gonna say?!” And my wife, who is a huge part of my creative process, finally she said, “What do you wanna say? Stop thinking of it like you have to somehow tap into a different guy.” [...] I was like, “I wanna say that people don't want me to exist as a gay woman, as a woman in this particular space, working in this wild sandbox.” There was a whole crew of people who believed in me, but deep down, I felt like, “I am unaccepted for who I am because of what I believe in and wanting to wield my power the way I'd like without having to answer to the legion of people that just exist out there.”" - Leslye Headland, Collider, 2024

She took this specific life experience of hers, and then made it more universal, so that a bigger audience could relate to it.

"By the way, I think everybody feels this way. I think that's why it resonates when you're honest about yourself, and you get personal about it. When [Qimir] says, “I want freedom,” that's what I want. I just want freedom. I want to be able to just be out there and be myself and be the type of artist I want to be without having to answer to anybody." - Leslye Headland, Collider, 2024

Same goes with Osha and Sol's relationship, or how she defines the Jedi Order. It derives from her own relationship with her father and how she felt being raised straight, in a Christian household.

If you have the time, listen to this audio clip where she describes that.

In the context of the whole interview, her voice goes down a few octaves and starts to crack a bit. This is a vulnerable moment, when she's talking about it... and it's this experience that she turned into fuel for her writing of Sol and Osha's father/daughter bond.

"There's this thing that's called benign sexism, and part of it is this paternal protectionism — it seems like this good thing, but like you said, there's this, “I have to protect you from everything. I have to make sure you're okay. I have to tell you what track to get on, and then once you're on that track, I need to support you.” Ultimately, what happens is — again, this is a father-daughter relationship — as women evolve in their lives and develop their own personalities separate from their fathers, at some point, they have to reject that protectionism. [...] She cannot stay a little girl or an adolescent or young adult. She has to, at some point, say, “I reject what you have told me I need to do to make you proud, to follow in your footsteps.” She has to do that." - Leslye Headland, Collider, 2024

Now... if we're talking consistency with the themes in Lucas' Star Wars, then yeah, The Acolyte misses the mark.

The Jedi Order isn't the patriarchy or the Catholic Church. They're more like Buddhist monks, George has stated so multiple times.

The Jedi teachings aren't narratively meant to be the same traits found in toxic masculinity or benign sexism.

When a Jedi tells you to be mindful of your emotions, it's not meant in the "boys don't cry" sense.

When they talk about letting go of attachments, it's not meant in a stoic "don't get emotionally involved" sense.

Anakin too, the whole point is that he's wrong, the narrative frames his fall to the Dark Side as his own fault, it's not meant to be perceived as a failure in upbringing.

But she's not the only one who does it. Filoni does it too, a majority of fans have this take on the Jedi.

And because of her experiences, I can see why her takeaway would be that. Same goes for Filoni, they're products of their generation, upbringing and experiences.

My point is:

Leslye Headland is writing from a personal place, when she's writing The Acolyte. It's partially informed by her politics because - like she quotes, "personal is political" - but when it comes to the writing of the show, it's personal first and foremost.

What this was, was a Star Wars fan (arguably the nerdiest one we've had so far, in terms of creators) putting all of herself in the creation of a show that perfectly reflects who she is and what she stands for, resulting in:

a story about growing past your father's paternal control and accepting that our guides aren't infallible,

where her wife holds a role and gets to wield a lightsaber,

a show about taking corrupt religious institutions to task

about the Sith and the Dark Side

and questioning the unquestionable

and exploring whether the good are really so good and if the bad are really so bad.

This was a project written from the heart, and regardless of whether the resulting art found its mark, I think it's important to note that it wasn't written to spread a propaganda message in some "pro-woke holy war" or whatever the hell the YouTubers are peddling.

[hellfirehottie]

California Dreamin' - Eddie Munson

Chapter Eleven - Lay all your love on me

Content warnings: Awkward first date (cute though!), brief mentions of trauma, Eddie flashback (okay, a lot of trauma for Eddie, oops!), goofy idiots in love, lots of sexual tension, smut! dirty talk kinda, thigh riding, hand kink / oral fixation kinda? thumb sucking lol. Praise kink, use of "good girl" , possession kink, public sexual activities / voyeurism, untouched m!orgasm (cause I'm a simp for simp Eddie), brief mention of vomiting.

"Don't go wasting your emotion, lay all your love on me,

Don't go sharing your devotion, lay all your love on me."

Lay your love on me - Abba

Saturday / Forest Hills Trailer Park / 12:30pm

[Eddie sways into his bedroom, towel hung low on his hips, humming along to the music playing on his stereo. He closes the door with his hip, dancing along to the music as he runs another towel through his drying hair.] 

Eddie: “Mmm-Mmm-Mhm, Oh yeah, mmm, pow!” [He dramatically throws his towels to the floor, dancing sassily around his room naked] “Mmm-hmm-Mhm, yeah!” 

[Eddie yanks open his drawers and pulls on a pair of underwear and jeans. Continuing to hum to himself he haphazardly opens another draw, looking at his shirts. 

His Hellfire shirt is shoved in the back of the drawer, unworn but clean since Nina had stayed over. He looks at it, contemplating, deep in thought. He looks at his recent favourite Black Sabbath shirt and goes to pick it up. His fingers still, as he looks back at the Hellfire shirt.]

Eddie: [quietly, to himself] “Hellfire or Sabbath, Hellfire or Sabbath, Hellfire or Sabbath. Damn it, just pick one!” 

[Eddie picks up the Hellfire shirt] 

Eddie: [smiling softly] “Hello, old friend.” 

[He pulls the shirt over his head, sprays deodorant and cologne, and pulls on his socks and shoes. Looking at the time, his eyes widen, and he runs out of his room to the kitchen, grabbing his keys on the way.] 

Wayne: [calling out from the living room] “Go get her, son!”  Eddie: “Thanks Wayne!” [bending down to tie his shoes] “Any words of advice?”  Wayne: “Just be yourself!”  Eddie: [smirking] “Garbage advice, Wayne!” [running out the door] “Don’t wait up!” 

[Eddie jumps in his van and speeds to Nina and Robin’s house.] 

Robin: [perfecting Nina’s hair] “And what are we going to do?”  Nina: [nervous] “Be myself. Not panic.”  Robin: “Good, and what are we not going to do?”  Nina: [rhetorical, uneasy]  “Be a messy, disastrous basket case?”  Robin: [wincing, sarcastic] “Needs work but it’ll do.” [smacking Nina on the ass as she walks out the front door] “Go get ‘em tiger!” 

[Nina rolls her eyes and closes the front door. As she turns around, she sees Eddie on the front door step, hand extended ready to knock on the door.] 

Nina: (shy) “Hi, Eddie.”  Eddie: (warmly) “Hey, gorgeous.” [looking at her up and down, smiling] “You look beautiful.”  Nina: [nervously] “Thanks, you too- I mean, you look h-handsome, you look good.” [she closes her eyes, embarrassed] “Fuck.” [smiling] “Sorry, I’m a little nervous.”  Eddie: (teasingly) “It’s okay, I know I look beautiful.” [Nina blushes, Eddie relishes in it] “Ready to go?”  Nina: [patting her backpack full of snacks, cheeky] “Ready when you are, beautiful.” 

[Eddie and Nina sing along to a mixtape Eddie made - the one he promised Nina he would make- for an hour while driving to a small village outside of Hawkins. Eddie lies down the picnic blanket he bought especially for the occasion, offering Nina his hand with a courtesy to sit down. They sit under a tree, unpacking their food.] 

Nina: (sweetly) “Ham and cheese or peanut butter and jelly?”  Eddie: “Peanut butter and jelly please.”  Nina: [handing him a sandwich, looking around curiously] “So, how do you know about this place?”  Eddie: [looking around, smiling] “My mom used to take me here when I was little.” [pointing at the park] “She used to push me on the swings there.” [pointing at the river] “And we used to feed the ducks there. And a secret third thing which will be revealed later.”  Nina: (teasing) "Ooh that’s ominous, I’ll refrain from asking questions since it’ll ruin the mystery.”  Eddie: (teasing her back) “Hey, you’re learning!” [Nina rolls her eyes and swats him playfully]  Nina: [smiling to herself, eating her sandwich] “I can just imagine little Eddie running around playing in the park. I bet you were a little terror.”  Eddie: (cheeky) “I’ll have you know I was a darling little angel as a child.”  Nina: (scoffing, cheeky) “What changed then?”  Eddie: [mock offence] “Hey! I’m still a darling little angel.”  Nina: (teasing) “Says the Satanist cult leader of Hawkins.”  Eddie: (laughing) “You got me on that one!”  ---------------------------------------------------

Nina: [lying back on the blanket, pointing up at the sky] “That cloud looks like a bat.”  Eddie: [smug, amused] “I think it looks like a cloud.”  Nina: [sarcastic, light-hearted] “You know, when you graduate you should seriously consider a career in comedy, you’re so funny Eddie.”  Eddie: [cheeky] “Or a cloud designer.”  Nina: [rolling her eyes but can’t help but smile] “You’re impossible.”  Eddie: [pointing up] “That one looks like a dolphin.”  Nina: “Where?” [she shuffles closer to Eddie, resting her head on his shoulder, his stomach flips] “Oh yeah, it does!” 

[Eddie squeaks with happiness as Nina lies down on him, he tries to cover it with a cough] 

Nina: (confused) “What was that noise?”  Eddie: [trying to play it off, embarrassed] “What noise? I didn’t hear any noise.”  Nina: (grinning) “You made a weird squeaking sound.”  Eddie: [dismissive, voice squeaky with nerves] “No I didn’t.”  Nina: “You’re doing it now!” [loving how embarrassed Eddie is] “What’s up with you?”  Eddie: [flushed, nervous] “You just lay your head on me, I thought it was cute.” [Nina grins harder] “And my body betrayed me and decided to embarrass me ‘cause… yeah…”  Nina: (teasingly) “Cute.” [she rests her head on Eddie’s shoulder again, smiling] “Should I expect squeaking sounds every time I touch you?”  Eddie: (cheeky) “Depends on how you’re touching me.”  Nina: [swatting him playfully] “Perv.” 

[Eddie blushes and presses a gentle kiss on the top of her head, inhaling her coconut shampoo and smiles to himself. Nina smiles as she feels the kiss on her head.] 

Nina: [Nina notices Eddie’s Hellfire shirt] “Hey, that’s my shirt!” [Eddie looks at her, confused] “That’s my sleepover shirt.”  Eddie: “Oh, yeah, uh, I made it a few years back.” (blushing) “I don’t wear it very often anymore.”  Nina: (flirty) “You should, it looks good on you.” [curious] “I’ve seen the rest of Hellfire wear that shirt but I’ve never seen you wear one. It suits you.”  Eddie: (flirty) “Really? Cause I think it looks much better on you.” [whispering in her ear] “Especially when it’s the only thing you wear.” [a shiver runs down Nina’s spine]  Nina: “Again, perv.”  Eddie: (cheeky) “Can’t help it, I’ve got a gorgeous girl lying on me who is feeding me sandwiches and cookies, I’m happy.”  Nina: (curious) “Why don’t you wear it anymore?”  Eddie: “Well…” 

Flashback - January / the trailer park / 8pm 

Wayne: “Right I’m off to work, I’ll see you in the- Eddie, you okay?” 

[Eddie is lying in bed, covers pulled high over his shoulders, glumly watching the snow outside.] 

Eddie: (flatly) “I’m fine. I’ll see you in the morning.”  Wayne: (concerned) “Not feeling well?”  Eddie: [tearing up] “I-“ [he clears his throat of his tears, stubborn] “I’m fine. Just tired.”  Wayne: [after pause, trying to uplift him] “You’ve got band practice tonight, right?”  Eddie: (quietly) “I’m not going.”  Wayne: “I see.”  [struggling] “Why don’t you give Dustin a ring? I know he’d love to help you with your new campaign.”  Eddie: “I scrapped the campaign.”  Wayne: (defeated) “Is there anything I can do?”  Eddie: [with a fake smile] “It’s okay, I’ll be fine.” (Gently) “I’ll see you in the morning.”  Wayne: [torn] “You know where I am if you need me.” [Wayne exits the trailer] 

[Eddie sighs, watching the snow fall. It reminds him of the ash falling from the sky in the upside down.] 

Eddie: [sighing sadly, tearing up again] “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, Chrissy.” 

[Eddie’s tears turn to anger. He looks around his room, enraged at the metal band posters, the D&D figurines, the clutter and chaos. He wants to tear his room to shreds. 

He begins heaving with anger. His trembling hands push everything off his desk onto the floor, he crumples up his bedding and tosses it across the room, he empties his clothes from his drawers onto the floor. 

The Hellfire shirt takes his eye. He snatches it and storms outside, picking up a bottle of whisky from the kitchen counter. 

He wrenches open the trailer door, slamming it behind him. The cold snow nips at his skin, aching the scars on his torso. This only fuels him more. 

He pours the whisky into the metal trash can and flicks a lit match into the bin. Flames woosh into the air, thick smoke melting the falling snow. He looks deeply into the flames, his anger mirrored in the violence of the flames. 

He looks at the Hellfire shirt scrunched in his fist.] 

Eddie: [bitterly] “It’s all your fucking fault. You’ve ruined my life.” [he holds the shirt over the flames, not enough for the shirt to burn] “It’s never going to fucking end.” 

[His lip begins to tremble again. His skin erupts into goosebumps, he becomes aware he is outside in winter in just pyjama trousers and a vest, no shoes on the cold snow.] 

Eddie: [hyperventilating] “I’m so sorry Chrissy.” [he begins to sob] “I’m so fucking sorry.” [he brings the shirt away from the flames and holds it to his face, using it to muffle his sobs and wipe his tears] 

End of flashback - 

Eddie: (uneasy) “After the accident last summer, nothing felt right, everything was too tight and suffocating and- well, it didn’t feel like me anymore. I started to dress more normal for a while.”  Nina: “Eddie Munson, normal? I don’t think you’ve been normal a day in your life.” [Eddie smiles a small smile, shaking his head laughing] “It’s understandable to lose yourself for a while after something traumatic, it happens to all of us.” [she smiles at him reassuringly] “I’m glad you’re wearing it again.”  Eddie: (softly) “Me too.”  Nina:  [realising] “Wait, you’re sharing with me.”  Eddie: “Um, yeah. Is that not okay? I thought it was normal to share this kinda stuff with someone you’re dating.”  Nina: “It is! I- I want to share with you too. If that’s okay?”  Eddie: (proud, soft) “Yeah?”  Nina: “I ran away from home. Kind of. I er-“ [picking her nails anxiously, Eddie takes her hand] “I had to leave, for reasons I won’t get into now, so I packed my bags and left in the middle of the night.”  Eddie: (softly) “I’m sorry.”  Nina: “Don’t say sorry, you’ve done nothing wrong.” [pulling at her hair] “I just had to get out of there, I couldn’t take it anymore.” [sighing] “I’m a coward.”  Eddie: [smiling sadly] “I know a thing or two about running and being a coward.” [he rubs his thumb over Nina’s hand he’s holding comfortingly, which is laid across his chest] “I doubt you were being a coward, you were probably scared.” [looking at the water nearby] “It’s okay to be scared. I’m scared too.”  Nina: (sniffling) “Wow, this got deep very quick.” [smiling sadly] “You know what we need?”  Eddie: [thumb rubbing her shoulder with his free hand] “What’s that?”  Nina: [turning to face him, grinning] “Ice cream.”  ---------------------------------------------------- Nina: “Stop stealing my ice cream, shithead!”  Eddie: [grinning, ice cream over his mouth, talking with his mouth full] “I was just testing it for poison.” [Nina rolls her eyes but can’t help but smile. Eddie extends his ice cream to her face, grinning devilishly] “Here, have some of mine?” [Nina innocently goes to lick the ice cream, Eddie pushes it so it goes on her nose] “Oops!”  Nina: [surprised] “Oh, you little shit!” [Eddie takes off running, cackling, while Nina wipes her nose] “I’m gonna get you, Munson!” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nina: [swinging Eddie’s hand back and forth with hers] “So, what now Batman?”  Eddie: [grinning] “Now to the fun part!” 

[They walk along the riverside to a small wooden stall. The stall has a big sign saying “boat rides” on it. Small rowing boats are stacked upon each other, and the giant pond in front of them is filled with laughter and chatter amongst the fellow rowers. ] 

Eddie: “Tadah!”  Nina: [excitedly] “We’re going on a boat?!”  Eddie: [happy at Nina’s reaction] “We are indeed.”  Nina: “Awesome!”  Eddie: [holding his hand out to help Nina on the boat] “Bow or Stern?”  Nina: “Either is fine by me!” 

[Nina sits on the seat at the end of the little boat, Eddie sits in the middle holding the two oars] 

Eddie: [cheeky] “Where to, m’lady?”  Nina: [glowing with happiness] “Wherever the water takes us, kind sir.”  Eddie: [amused, begins rowing] “I think the saying is ‘wherever the wind takes us.’”  Nina: [smirking] “Don’t be a smartass.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: [matter of fact] “You could not be more wrong.”  Nina: “What? Chucky is so much better than the Evil Dead!”  Eddie: [offended, cocky] “Chucky is a little asshole doll. Lock him in a cupboard and your problem is solved. A possessed woman with a chainsaw? Can’t lock her in a cupboard, can you?”  Nina: [equally as smug] “Don’t read from the book of the dead and there wouldn't be a possessed woman with a chainsaw, problem solved.”  Eddie: [scoffing] “Where’s the fun in that?”  Nina: [tutting, teasing] “I bet in a horror movie you’d be the dumb blonde who dies first.” 

[Eddie pushes up the sleeves on his shirt; Nina’s eyes linger on Eddie’s toned forearms] 

Eddie: [cocky] “I’ll have you know, I’d be the brave charismatic leader that saves your dumb blonde ass.”  Nina: [scoffing, cheeky] “Not if the thing I need saving from is spiders or deep water.”  Eddie: “I knew I shouldn’t have told you that, it was a big fucking spider in my defence!” [Nina giggles at him, he smiles] Nina: “Hang on, why did you bring me on a boat, on a lake, when you’re scared of water?”  Eddie: (shy) “I know you like water and I thought, well, I need to get over the fear sometime.” [looking away, embarrassed] “Just killing two birds with one stone or whatever.”  Nina: [grinning] “I think that’s really sweet of you, Eddie.” [he blushes] “And brave. I’m having a lovely first date.” 

[Eddie stops rowing and looks at Nina, mouth parted, eyes glassy.] 

Eddie: (small) “You think I’m brave?”  Nina: (oblivious) “I do.”  Eddie: [whispered] “Thank you.” [he looks around at the sky, confused] “When did it start raining?” 

[Nina looks around confused, holding her hands up to feel water drip onto her fingers. She looks ahead, behind Eddie, to see the large water fountain ahead] 

Nina: [rushed] “Oh my god, Eddie, the fountain!”  Eddie: [oblivious] “The what?”  Nina: [panicked] “The fountain, the fountain!” 

[The small boat begins to float towards the large water fountain in the centre of the pond. Eddie looks back at the fountain, then looks back at Nina with wide eyes] 

Eddie: “Oh fucking hell!” [he scrambles to grab the oars to manoeuvre them away from the spraying fountain. They both begin to get soaked from the water, both of them squealing and shivering under the heavy spray] 

Eddie: “Jesus H. Christ!”  Nina: [squealing] “Fuck me, that’s cold!” [loudly] “Eddie, the oars!” 

[the oars begin to drift off the boat and into the water. Nina lunges one way to grab an oar, Eddie the other. The boat rocks under the quick shift in weight.] 

Eddie: "Shit!” [Eddie lunges too far and falls into the water.]  Nina: [worried] “Eddie!” [rushing to his side to reach him] “Are you okay?” 

[Eddie emerges from the water gasping, he takes Nina’s hand and throws himself back onto the boat] 

Eddie: “Jesus, that is cold!” 

Nina: “Are you okay?” [both of them look at each other, completely drenched] 

Eddie: [sheepish] “Never better, babe.” 

---------------------------------------------------

[Nina and Eddie row over to the wooden hut, their time in the boat over, both of them completely soaked. The usher working at the stall raises his eyebrows at them and they smile sheepishly. They leave the boat, giggling into each other, and walk up the bridge back towards Eddie’s van.] 

Nina: [giggling, raking her fingers through her hair as they walk] “So, did that help conquer your fear of deep water then?”  Eddie: [walking oddly, stiff in wet denim] “There’s no deep water left to be scared of, I think I’ve swallowed half of it.” [Nina bursts into laughter, eyes struggling not to leer at the way Eddie’s clothes cling to his toned body.]  Nina: [coy] “Y’know, Eddie…”  Eddie: [oblivious, ringing out his shirt] “Hmm?”  Nina: [whispering in his ear, cheeky] “You’re the first guy who's ever gotten me this wet on a first date before.” 

[Eddie’s eyes go wide and his face immediately goes red. Nina cackles at his reaction and takes off running] 

Nina: “Race you to the car, Eddie!” 

Eddie: [fondly watching Nina skip away, heart beating fast, grinning, talking softly to himself] “Jesus Christ.” 

[Nina is sitting in the passenger seat as Eddie opens the door and gets in. He puts on the heater to warm up the car and dry off their clothes.] 

Nina: “You want the last donut?”  Eddie: “Sure.” 

[Nina leans over the centre console and offers the donut in front of Eddie’s mouth. He takes a bite of the donut, eyes locked on Nina. 

Strawberry jam from the donut lingers on the corner of Eddie’s mouth. Nina wipes it with her thumb and offers it to Eddie, he sucks it off her thumb. Nina’s eyes go wide, transfixed on Eddie’s lips and the suckling of her thumb. Her heart beats faster and she finds herself biting her lip. Eddie watches Nina’s reaction, turned on] 

Nina: [clearing her throat] “We should probably head back and get out of these wet clothes, huh?”  Eddie: [eyes scanning Nina, trying not to linger on her wet body] “Y- yeah we should.”

[Eddie begins to drive. The tension in the air is thick.] 

Nina: (shyly) “Thank you for a great date, Eddie. Even if we are drenched.” [blushing] “I kinda don’t want it to end.”  Eddie: [matter of fact] “It’s not over yet.”  Nina: [hopeful] “It’s not?”  Eddie: [grinning] “Chucky vs Evil Dead at my place.” 

[Nina hums contently. She presses the radio on and “Lay all your love on me” by ABBA plays loudly in the van] 

Nina: “I love this song!”  Eddie: “This song sucks!”  Nina: [exclaiming] “You’re tapping along on the steering wheel!”  Eddie: [embarrassed] “Am not.”  Nina: [enthralled] “You so are!”  Eddie: [stubborn] “I am not.”  Nina: [cheeky] “Hey Eddie?” [Eddie turns to look at her, she begins to sing at him loudly] “Don’t go wasting your emotion!” [Eddie rolls his eyes but smiles] “Lay all your love on me!” [the sentence trails off towards the end, her voice becoming softer. Eddie looks over at her, eyes twinkling with hope]  Nina: “Eddie?”  Eddie: “Yeah?”  Nina: “Pull over.”  Eddie: [worried] “Are you okay? Do you feel sick?”  Nina: [softly] “Just pull over.” 

[Eddie pulls the van to a stop at the side of the road. The road is empty] 

Eddie: [hopeful] “Everything okay?” Nina: “Kiss me.” 

[Eddie’s heart beats faster and he gulps, palms sweaty] 

Eddie: “H-here?”  Nina: “Right here.” 

[Eddie looks at Nina’s eyes searching for doubt. When he finds none, he confidently reaches across the van to kiss Nina; his large hands cupping either side of her face. It takes Nina’s breath away.

Nina shuffles closer, her hands combing through his wet hair. Eddie hums with content as Nina slips her tongue into his mouth, pulling her even closer] 

Eddie: “C’mere.” [Eddie pats his lap. Nina leans over the console, and with help from Eddie, straddles his lap. Before their lips can touch again, Nina pulls back]  Nina: “Wait!” [Eddie looks at her, pouting and confused. She reaches down the side of the seat and slightly reclines Eddie’s chair] “Much better.” [Nina giggles and Eddie looks at her with love in his eyes] 

[Eddie holds Nina firmly by the neck and pulls her down to him, reuniting their lips. As their tongues lick at each other, Eddie uses his large palm to pull Nina closer to him, their wet bodies pressed together, Nina’s weight on him] 

Eddie: [mumbling between kisses] “You really wanna do this here?”  Nina: “Don’t want to wait any longer.” [Eddie moans at her words] “Need you now.” [Eddie melts, moaning again] “Please, Eddie.”  Eddie: [riled up, checking the windows for passers by] “Doesn’t bother you we’re in public?”  Nina: (shyly) “I find it kinda hot, actually.”  Eddie: [resting his head back on the headrest, eyes closed, turned on] “Fuuck.” [Nina’s eyes light up at Eddie’s thick neck, how his Adam’s apple bobs with anticipation, she can’t help but lean down and kiss and nibble at it.]  Nina: [whispered in his ear] “Is it okay that I find it hot?”  Eddie: (hungrily, in bliss with Nina kissing his neck) “I find it hot that you find it hot.” [he brings her face back to his, kissing her heatedly] “Been wanting you all day.” [his hands go under her dress, stroking both thighs, both hips, her ass, her sides of her stomach] “This dress has been driving me crazy.” [he grabs harsh handfuls of her ass] “Take it off.”

[Nina leans back and pulls the dress off over her head. Eddie leans back to take in the sight, hands stroking the goosebumps on her skin.] 

Nina: (embarrassed) “Um…” [she pulls her underwear down her legs too] “They’re wet too…”  Eddie: (grinning, cheeky) “Only if I’m doing my job right.”  Nina: [red with blushing] “You’re on a roll today, perv.” [smirking] “Your turn, Munson.” 

[Eddie eagerly pulls down his trousers, Eddie and Nina having to manoeuvre carefully in the seat to remove his jeans, both of them giggling when they get stuck. With Eddie’s jeans at the footwell of the car, Nina paws at Eddie’s shirt, which he pulls off over his head.

Nina’s lingers trace Eddie’s tattoos and he shivers, wriggling underneath Nina. Nina’s body is once again pressed on top of Eddie’s, her naked cunt against the fabric of his boxers.] 

Eddie: “Oh god.” [Eddie bites his lip, enthralled by the sight of her bare pussy ghosting over his hard cock. His hands linger on her hips, his thumbs rubbing circles on her pelvis, his mouth watering. He softly mutters to himself.} “I can’t believe this is happening.”

[He looks up at Nina with eyes filled with want and adoration and feels his heart race, body igniting with heat and gulps with anticipation. Nina feels the twitch of Eddie’s erection against her core. She lets out a little whimper at the feeling, her clit throbbing.] 

Eddie: [breathless] “Keep making noises like that and I’ll cum right here right now.” [his jaw clenches with restraint]  Nina: (teasing) “Hot.” [she grinds up and down over him once, he begins to pant]  Eddie: [restrained] “‘M serious Nina, wanna make it last this time.” [stroking her sides, eyes closed, gulping] “Want it to be good for you.”  Nina: [spurred on] “You’ve been thinking a lot about the other night?” Eddie: (half joking) “You kidding me? I’ve been hard ever since.” [tucking her hair behind her ear, looking at her lovingly] “Can’t stop thinking about it, about you.”  Nina: [pulling back, Eddie whines]  “Eddie… I’ve got to ask.” [Eddie’s face drops in fear] “Is it me you want or is it just sex? Just so I know where I stand ‘ca-”  Eddie: [interrupting] “You. Definitely you.” [gulping, brave, looking deeply into her eyes] “Wanted you since I set eyes on you.” [brushing the hair out of her face] “Knew I wanted to make you mine.”  Nina: [with wide eyes, voice soft] “I like it when you say things like that.”  Eddie: (curious) “Yeah?”  Nina: “Yeah.” [kissing his neck, whispering in his ear, he shudders] “It gets me hot.” 

[Eddie rests his head on the headrest, eyebrows furrowed and eyes screwed shut, biting his lip with restraint as Nina kisses down the side of his neck, sucking on the column of his throat. Nina begins to grind on Eddie’s lap, causing a low groan to slip through Eddie’s lips] 

Nina: (softly, aroused) “Say it again for me.”  Eddie: [breathless as Nina kisses him] “I’m yours and you’re mine.” [Eddie’s hand weaves into the hair at the back of her neck as she gently bites his ear] “Jesus, Nina.”  Nina: [pulling back with flushed cheeks and rosy lips] “This okay, baby?” 

[Eddie’s eyes flick between Nina’s eyes and lips, and he answers her question by crashing his lips on hers desperately. He holds her tightly by the back of her neck, his free hand wrapping around her back to pull her flush against him.

Eddie’s cock aches desperately as its slapped against his stomach, Nina’s core only inches away from him, occasionally brushing against him, her thighs straddling Eddie’s hips.  Nina hums contently into the kiss, holding his face in her hands as they kiss passionately, Nina’s hips still rocking against Eddie’s.] 

[The windows of the van begin to fill with condensation, the music on the radio playing softly in the background.] 

Eddie: [mumbled into her neck between kisses] “I can’t believe I have you all to myself, I’m so fuckin’ lucky.” [whiny, desperate] “I’m so hard it hurts, babe, can’t contain myself around you.”[Nina moans and grinds harder] “Nina, I- I…”  Nina: “Tell me, Eddie.” Eddie: [kissing Nina’s jaw] “You have no idea how badly I need you.” 

[Nina pulls back, surprised, stopping her movements. Eddie looks at her with cheeks flushed and lips parted, disappointed by the lack of kisses and friction] 

Nina: “Need a hand?” [Eddie looks at her with raised eyebrows and a cheeky smile, Nina blushes, embarrassed] “I mean- I didn’t- not like that, I-“ [Eddie laughs at her pink cheeks] “Well, maybe like that…if you want?” 

[Eddie’s lips part with excitement, arousal evident in his eyes. He kisses her again and Nina takes that as her cue to lean back, palming Eddie over his boxers, squeezing him through the thin fabric. Nina’s heart races at the feel of the thick outline of Eddie’s hard covered cock, and finds herself clenching with anticipation. Eddie groans into the kiss, his grip now tight on Nina’s hips] 

Eddie: “Wait! I-“  Nina: [pulling back, worried] “Are we going too fast? I’m sorry-“  Eddie: [quickly] “No, no! I, er,” [flustered] “I want you to get off instead. Please.”  Nina: (confused) “But… you…”  Eddie: “I know, but I got off last time and I want to see it, I need to see it, please.”  Nina: (teasing) “So polite, we don’t have to take it in turns, y’know.”  Eddie: [grinning] “I know.” [determined] “But I wanna see you get off, I wanna make you feel good.” [holding her by the back of her neck again, looking at her with pleading desperate eyes] “Show me what it’s like, baby, please?”  Nina: (softly) “Y- yeah, okay.”  Eddie: “Like how we did the other night?”  Nina: [smiling softly, fond] “However you want, handsome.” [she has an idea] “Wait, one sec.” [she leans back to rearrange herself and accidentally leans on the car horn, it beeps loudly, she jumps with fright] “Shit!” 

[Eddie looks at her with adoration and amusement before bursting into laughter as Nina clutches her chest with fright.] 

Nina: “Fuckin’ horn scared the shit out of me!”

 [Eddie laughs harder and she scowls at him then she begins to laugh too, and the pair lean into each other in their laughter.

When the laughter subsides they rest their foreheads together, giggling softly, and then lightly kiss each other. 

After kissing for a few minutes, Nina moves again, her thighs now straddling Eddie’s thick right thigh.] 

Nina: “Is this okay?”  Eddie: [aroused] “Ye-yeah, it’s good.” [Eddie can feel the warmth of Nina’s cunt on his bare leg, it makes his cock twitch, he gulps. He strokes Nina’s thighs, horny, eager] “You can get off like this?”  Nina: (smoothly) “With you underneath me, like this? Definitely.” [Nina giggles as Eddie’s moans softly at her words. Eddie’s hands return to her hips, eager to begin]  Eddie: “Smooth.”  [smirking] “Ride away then, cowgirl.”  Nina: (cheeky) “And you call me the smooth one.” [she wraps her arms around Eddie’s neck, pulling their bodies closer, kissing each other firmly.]  Eddie: [mesmerised, running his thumb between her cleavage and down her sternum] “You’re the smooth one here,” [to himself] “So soft.” [he brings his thumb to Nina’s lips, rubbing it across her parted lips] “So beautiful.” 

[Nina takes Eddie’s hand cautiously in hers and pulls his thumb towards her mouth; slipping it past her lips and sucks on it gently as she begins to move back and forth on Eddie’s thigh] 

Eddie: [groaning] “Oh, fuck.”  [can’t take his eyes of her, practically panting] “You’re gonna kill me.”  

[Nina giggles as she removes thumb, kissing down the side of his hand, releasing it and begins kissing Eddie’s neck, her breasts pressed against his chest.

Eddie’s eyes close in bliss. I’ve died and gone to heaven, he thinks. Nina’s sits on his thigh and rocks herself back and forth as she kisses Eddie’s neck; feeling his racing pulse under her lips.] 

Nina: [panting, clutching at Eddie’s neck] “Feels good, Eddie.” [a harder grind down pushes Nina’s underwear against her throbbing clit, causing her to softly whine] “Really good.”  Eddie: [mumbled into her hair and shoulder, inhaling her deeply, guiding her hips] “Keep going, baby.”  Nina: [her head hangs back, hair trailing down her back as she moans, squirming against Eddie’s thigh] “Oh god.” [her hands roam across his shoulders and chest; she bites her lip] “You’ve got such a nice body, honey.” [rubbing his chest, eyes filled with lust as her hand trails down his torso]  Eddie: [in awe, flushed, achingly hard] “You think so?”  Nina: [dreamily, breathless] “I know so.” [her hand goes to his face, stroking his cheek, staring deeply into his eyes] “So handsome.” [chewing her lip, eyes closing, Eddie’s relishes in her expression] “Like having you under me.” [Eddie moans and grips her hips tighter, pushing and pulling her against his thigh, her chest heaves with her exertion.] 

[Nina’s hand reaches to the roof of Eddie’s van, searching for something to dig her nails into, pleasure coursing through her. Eddie kisses and bites at her neck and her soft moans become louder and more frequent, her grinding harder.] 

Eddie: [mesmerised, hands on Nina’s hips to guide her movements] “You’re so wet Nina, can feel it on my leg. You like riding my thigh, princess?”   Nina: “I do, Eddie, fuck!”  Eddie: “So perfect, such a good girl.”  Nina: [with wide eyes, aroused, moaning] “Say that again, Eddie.”  Eddie: [darkly, half lidded, panting] “You like me calling you a good girl?” [Nina whimpers in response, pressing herself down harder on Eddie’s thigh]  Nina: [pleading] “Please, baby.”  Eddie: [relishing seeing Nina’s reactions, confident, in awe] “Come on Nina, cum on my thigh like the good girl you are.”  Nina: [resting her head on Eddie’s shoulder, desperate] “Jesus, Eddie!” 

[Eddie’s head lulls on the headrest, eyes closed, breathing deeply as he tries to contain himself when Nina pants and whimpers in his ear; her breath tingling his damp skin. He wraps his arms around Nina’s back, pulling her tight to him to stabilise her, biting and kissing her neck as she grinds on him, determined to push Nina over the edge.] 

Nina: [moaning] “Jesus, Eddie, fuck!”  [she holds onto the car grab handle tightly, using it to stabilise herself as she grinds down harder on Eddie’s thigh] “I’m so close, oh god.” 

[He jumps to action and pulls Nina away from him to her surprise, yanking down the bra she wore to expose her breasts, confidently taking one in his hand and the other in his mouth. As Nina leans back in surprise, her hand catches the volume dial on the radio; the volume goes from quiet to loud, ‘I was made for loving you’ by KISS plays loudly in the car. Nina lets out a loud moan at Eddie sucking on her chest and her movements become harder and deeper, that tingly feeling in her insides becoming stronger] 

Nina: “Eddie, ‘m close, oh my god I wanna cum so bad, please baby, oh god!”  Eddie: [mumbles into her breasts, he gently bites and pulls at her nipple, her eyes roll back] “Love hearing you beg for me, sweetheart.”  Nina: [at breaking point] “Eddie!”  Eddie: [licking, kissing, biting her chest and neck, panting, wild, untamed, gripping her ass hard to force her movements when she begins to tire] “Say my name when you cum for me, lemme hear it, wanna hear it so badly.”  Nina: [head flung back, desperate, so close] “Fuck, Eddie!”  Eddie: [determined, heart racing] “That’s it baby, c’mon, say it.”  Nina: [gripping the hand rail tightly with one hand, the other clawing at Eddie, her thighs begin to shake] “Eddie, I’m coming, I’m coming, oh god!”  Eddie: [looking up at her as he kisses her chest, in awe] “Good girl, baby.” 

[That tips Nina over the edge] 

Nina: “Oh fuck, Eddie!” [her trembling thighs clamp down hard over Eddie’s, her body shaking with her orgasm, Eddie watches lustfully, in delight, trained on her every move. Her body blossoms as she orgasms, her shoulders pushed back, her chest pushed out towards Eddie, her head flung back in pleasure.] 

Eddie: [softly groaning] “Fuck.” [he relishes in watching Nina tremble above him, his own orgasm catching him by surprise as his stomach tenses, thighs twitch and balls heave as he cums in his boxers, his throbbing cock aching and twitching in his boxers] “Oh fuck, Jesus.” 

Nina: (dazed) “Did you just…” 

Eddie: [breathless] “Yeah, I did.” 

---------------------------------------------------

[Eddie is finishing up in the bathroom. He spits out toothpaste into the sink, humming along to “I was made for loving you” by KISS, stuck replaying on his head since the van. He can hear Nina laughing in the living room. 

His eyebrows furrow with confusion as he hears Nina talking, along with another voice. He walks out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist.] 

Wayne: “…And then he fell face first into the puddle of mud! It took his mother hours to get the mud out of his hair!” [looking up to see Eddie] “Oh hey, Eddie!”  Nina: [shyly, blushing at Eddie in just a towel, despite seeing him semi-naked before] “Hey, Eddie.”  Eddie: [surprised] “W-What are you doing here, Wayne?”  Wayne: [grinning, knowing] “I got an early finish at the plant. We just ordered Chinese. Our regular place was closed so we had to order from somewhere else.” Eddie: [suspicious at Wayne] “You got me the usual?”  Wayne: “Chow Mein with extra fried rice and-“  Wayne and Nina at the same time: “Duck pancakes.”  Nina: (smiling softly) “We know.” 

[Eddie looks at them fondly, heart warmed.] 

Eddie: “I’ll be right back.” 

[Eddie gets changed into his pyjamas, smiling to himself as he hears laughter from Wayne and Nina in the living room. He joins them shortly after, plonking himself on the couch beside Nina, pulling her into him, her legs bent over his long legs.] 

Wayne: “What are we watching then, kids?”  Nina: “Evil Dead, then Chucky!”  Wayne: [tutting, shaking his head] “The tripe you kids watch nowadays, sheesh.”  ----------------------------------------------------

Wayne: [with a mouth full of noodles, pointing at the television with his chopsticks, frowning] “Surely if they didn’t read from the scary book, none of this would have happened.”  Nina: [vindicated, excited] “Thank you!” 

[Eddie rolls his eyes but can’t hide the smile on his face] 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nina: [knocking on the door, worried] “Eddie? You okay in there?” [Eddie groans behind the door] “Can I come in?” [Eddie thumps the door closed, before vomiting again in the toilet] “I’ve brought you some pain killers and water.” 

[She hears shuffling on the floor and the door opens ajar.] 

Nina: [concerned] “How’re you feeling?”  Eddie: [pale, sweaty, clinging to the toilet bowl] “I don’t think dodgy Chinese and lake water mix.” 

[Nina stifles a giggle and sets down the glass beside him, handing him the pain killers] 

Nina: (teasing) “Pretty sure you’re just chickenshit scared of the Evil Dead, that’s all.” 

[Eddie laughs then groans, holding his stomach] 

Eddie: “Don’t make me laugh, it hurts.” [embarrassed, can’t look Nina in the eye] “You don’t have to stay, it’s okay.”  Nina: (softly) “Who else is going to hold your hair back?” [pushing the glass of water near him] “Drink.” [he gulps at the water greedily] “Sip, honey, sip. You’ll hurt your stomach more.” [he begins to sip slowly, putting the glass down and gasping for air] “Better?”  Eddie: “A bit.” [he watches as Nina runs a cloth under cold water and sits beside him. He looks at her with doe eyes, feeling ashamed. He looks down, embarrassed, speaking self deprecatingly] “Was our first date everything you expected then?”  Nina: [snorting] “It was the best.” [She wipes the cold cloth over Eddie’s face and rests it on his forehead, he sighs happily] “One of the most eventful first dates I’ve had.” [Eddie snorts bitterly, looking down] “I had a lot of fun though.”  Eddie: (unsure, hopeful) “Yeah?”  Nina: (fondly) “Yeah.” [wiping his brow, pushing his fringe back, Eddie avoids her eyes] “You know how to show a girl a good time.”  Eddie: [chuckling softly, eyes fluttering] “I do try.”  Nina: (softer still) “You don’t even have to try.” [Eddie looks up, eyes glistening hopefully] “I had a great time, Eddie. Lake water, dodgy Chinese and all.” [she presses a kiss on his forehead, he smiles peacefully] “Ready for bed?” 

[Eddie begins to move off the floor but groans] 

Eddie: “Not yet, the floor is nice and cold and my stomach still hurts.”  Nina: [patting her lap] “Come here then.” 

[Eddie lies down with his head in her lap, body curled into the foetus position on the floor. Nina gently presses the cold cloth against him as he sighs with content.] 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wayne: “Night kids.” [he walks past the bathroom to find the light still on.] “Kids?”  [Pushing the door open a crack, he sees Eddie asleep on the floor, head on Nina’s lap, Nina asleep against the cold tile wall of the bathroom. Wayne shakes his head, amused, talking to himself] “Well, Eddie, I approve.” [he turns off the bathroom light] “Goodnight.” 

A/N: So sorry this chapter took so long to come out! I'm genuinely sick of the sight of it now, it took so long to write and so long to edit! Hopefully chapter 12 will be easier!

Thank you for reading! Reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated :)

Comment to be added to taglist :)

Next Chapter : Chapter Twelve - Heavy

[ronancexists]

Things I would like to see in Stranger Things 5:

- Since Robin has done quite a few doodles on her red converse, I like to think she's quite good at drawing, so that can be a way for her to start up a conversation with Will

- And then Will confides in Robin about being gay and being in love with Mike because he had a feeling that she was like him and Robin confirming she was indeed like him and becoming his gay mentor (like you don't understand I NEED ROBIN AND WILL TO HAVE A CONVO ABOUT BEING GAY)

- Will (finally!) tells the party that he's gay (and Byler becomes a thing) but not before Robin comes out to the party in order to make Will feel more comfortable and to show him that they will accept him because that's totally something she would do as his gay mentor

- More Steve and Robin being "Platonic with a Capital P" cause we didn't get enough in st4

- Hopper and Joyce trying to corral the kids and control the situation as best as they can

- Joyce being a mother figure to Robin like she is with the rest of the kids and Robin becoming better acquainted with El, Jonathan, and ESPECIALLY Will because she didn't really get a chance to get to know the California crew before they packed up and moved so ya

- El traveling into Vecna's/Henry's/One's mind in order to be able to wake Max up and free her from his control because he said his victims stay with him in his mind so like 👀

- Max wakes up after El successfully rescues her from Vecna/Henry/One but she is severely incapacitated, like she's probably blind in one or both eyes and is going to need assistance walking for the rest of her life and is going to be stuck in the hospital for a few more weeks (possibly months)

- How and when the Upside Down was created

- What Will's connection to Vecna/Henry/One and the Upside Down really entails and how that could affect both him and The Party during this final stretch

- Vecna/Henry/One, the Demogorgons, the Demodogs, the Demobats, the Mindflayer, and the Upside Down along with whatever other monsters are down there get destroyed once and for all because I don't think shutting the gates is gonna do it this time

- Kali comes back to help El defeat Vecna/Henry/One

- Murray tries to figure Steve and Robin out but he can't because he's never seen anything like the two of them and it frustrates him to no end

- Then when he tries to psychoanalyze Robin she does it right back to him because she's a freaking genius and everyone is in awe of her because they've never seen Murray speechless before

- KAREN WHEELER DESERVES TO KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT'S BEEN GOING ON IN HAWKINS!!!!!!!!

- And I hate to say it but if Steve dies Robin dies too because despite the fact that she is my favorite character (close seconds are Nancy and Will) Steve is her platonic soulmate and they are codependent on one another and one just simply cannot survive without the other

- Like it would absolutely break my heart to have to see Robin try to live without her dingus of a best friend and to have to see Steve try to live without his wing woman of a bestie so if one dies both of them die

- Lucas defending Max's unconscious body with Erica from whatever creatures from the Upside Down want to try and take and/or kill her

- Mike and El break up because El realizes she needs to be her own person and because Mike is in love with Will

- Dustin is even more protective and stubborn about Steve heading into danger because of what happened to Eddie and he absolutely refuses to leave his side through the entire season

- RONANCE RONANCE RONANCE RONANCE (i know it's probably not gonna be canon but a girl can dream)

- Robin finally getting an onscreen kiss with her girlfriend or a girl she really likes (cough cough Nancy cough cough) (sorry Vickie but I feel like ur just too similar to Robin)

- And if Steve doesn't die (hopefully🤞) then please please please DO NOT have Steve and Nancy get back together after she breaks up with Jonathan when she finds out he lied to her about Emerson along with everything else that's been piling up between them

- Instead Nancy decides she's better off not being in a relationship (or better yet she gets together with Robin) and focuses on what she's absolutely sure she wants which is getting her journalism degree at Emerson (and Robin decides to go there too if they become a thing 😊)

- Because Nancy Wheeler is a smart, strong, fierce, badass, independent woman and she does not need to be kept in a cage by becoming a housewife who gives birth to SIX KIDS

- NANCY WHEELER DOES NOT WANT SIX KIDS

- I REPEAT, NANCY WHEELER DOES NOT WANT SIX KIDS

- Steve and Robin move in together and attend a community college together (Steve's either getting a teaching degree or a child psychology degree while Robin is doing something with linguistics) or they follow Nancy to Boston because Robin and Nancy are absolutely smitten with one another :)

- Meeting Steve and Robin's respective parents

Ok I think that's all for now 😅

[lotuslovers]

'The Weeknd' // E.Y Pt. 2

Pairing : female!reader x Eren Yeager, background angst jean kirstein x reader(bashing for the sake of the plot) 

w.c: 3.2k 

Summary : Caught up in a world of money, fame, girls, and lies as the man of your dreams is ripped away from you in an unexpected cheating scandal. In response, you make a move with another high profile artist but unexpectedly it becomes a bit more than you bargained for when feelings for the brunette become unearthed. Modern fame AU/Fake dating AU

Trigger warnings: none

pt 1 | pt 2

Saturdays were what you called ‘reserved days’. If you weren’t working or coming back from a long drive from your parent’s house, you were curled up with blankets and snacks binge watching your favorite tv shows and hiding away from your friends. The truth was that in the past two months, you began to throw yourself into working far more hours. Taking on clients on the weekends, even those clients who managed to get on nerves simply because they kept coming even though they refused treatment. Many claimed they were in perfect condition, despite the pain they all held.

These reserved days became far too frequent once you began working far too many hours each week. Your boss, a little older lady named Elma, had waved you off when you asked to take on an additional shift on Saturdays and Sundays. Leaving you to pile yourself up in your apartment, the small room you had managed to get a week after news of Jean’s infidelity had leaked to the public. The apartment wasn’t much, but until you and Jean could sell your joint house, you were stuck dealing with the mess that was the Southern California housing market.

Sasha had decided to crash at your house last night, sleeping on the coach after you both came back from an all night street food fair and outdoor carnival set up. She sat beside you as the tv played the newest episode that was released from your favorite reality show, you hummed watching as Miley, your favorite cast member, began to pace hearing Hannah expose a detail about the new addition that was just brought into the show two episodes ago. “oh my god” you mumbled, connecting the dots of an attempted sabotage against Miley. The guy had known her before the show had started, she hadn’t met him before. A flashback began to play of him with another guy speaking briefly what looked like away from the filming crew.

A light buzzing noise interrupted your concentration, coming from the coffee table in front of you. Ignoring it you kept watching, reaching to grab the bag of baked chips from the table as Sasha shot you a weird look. The buzzing died out momentarily before it began again, ringing and drawing both of your attention as you refused to look down at the screen of your phone. “Y/n, are you going to answer that? Sasha said from across the living room, lounging on the large loveseat you had claimed before the move. As your phone lays lighting up non stop on top of the glass table. Glancing at you she reached over toward the table annoyed and sighing loudly, grabbing the remote and then tossing the phone in your direction as she hit the pause button. Even though you knew to expect it, the name “Mallory” on your screen still unnerved you. Pouting towards the screen, “It’s my manager, one sec” you said whilst bringing the phone up to your ear and answering the call.

“Hey, what’s up?” you spoke nervously. “y/l/n have you seen my texts?” She paused and you just knew she had rolled her eyes since she was used to you dragging your feet during any type of media campaign. “Well, I have been trying to reach you. Did you see anything I sent over? I have some serious updates on Yeager and our rollout.” “Oh” you mumbled confused on how you had missed the media finally covering the story with Eren. It surely hadn’t been too long but you missed any new trends on your platforms. Nearly a week had already passed since the night of the party, the photos you took earlier in the night were already posted, some twitter and instagram blog accounts had began spreading rumors of you being spotted with another man, and a blurry photo from far away that Sasha had taken was leaked by a few big accounts. Lots of people began speculating since the rumors were true when the image had confirmed it. The photo had shown you shyly tilting your head back while looking over your shoulder, clearly giggling as a taller male stood with his hands around your waist with his head hidden behind you in the darkness. The outline of his eyes barely being made out behind the brown hair and the small amount of light. The photo had gone around already two days ago, even close friends of your ex had reached out asking about it nonstop, wanting to know who it was. Connie, even if a friend of both of you, began to pester Sasha too. Blogs ran with the photos, youtube channels included you in their weekly drama recaps, and your dm’s were all filled asking the same questions. Who were you with that night? Had you gotten over the messy breakup?

Both you and Eren’s manager had made it clear to both of their clients that the role needed to be followed without any interference or changes to make it a successful campaign, we both knew it was said mainly meant for Jaeger to follow. Zeke and Mallory had brainstormed, basing the rollout on the idea of an image of an unknown man being pictured with you leaked to blogs, which began to trend for a few days to stir up some controversy before the eventual dropping a photo with Eren’s face in it. Between both of them, they agreed the timing just had to be perfect to get through a suitable “hard launch” and we(Eren) couldn’t get in the way of the rollout. His social media privileges were limited after his last few controversies online.

“So you won’t believe it,” she cheerily said as her tone entirely changed directions, “me and Zeke had planned to leak the final photo with Eren in the next few days after a potential soft launch story, you know a story of roses or a cropped photo of the two of you sat at a restaurant, and yada yada. Well so we decided to risk an early release, an account called dion.alise is run by this well known blogger who has a small but loyal group of followers” she said. “okay so, she’s known for her celebrity gossip and ‘insider’s appeal’ since she is a makeup artist and hairstylist for major award ceremonies-” she paused as you hummed along letting her continue the usual debrief. “Anyways, not only did she leak the photos a little over an hour ago but right after the post she found someone at the party who had taken more photos but from another time that night. Go look at what I sent to your phone. It's the very first link.”

Moving to follow her instructions, you tapped to place her on speaker phone and scrolled through notifications to open the bubble of what she sent to you. Scrolling up past a dozen links until you go to the first one from today, noisily Sasha saw and moved over to the nearest cushion as you clicked on the link. Mallory began talking again as you sat still looking over the post displayed on your phone, “The rollout is going to look a hundred times more organic, just look how grainy the photos are but we can still tell who’s in it”. Sasha hummed next to you as she pulled out her phone, shooting you a look when you stopped attempting to respond to your manager's voice. Looking at the photos under the title: “EXCLUSIVE: Y/L L/N AND EREN YEAGER TOGETHER, MYSTERY MAN CONFIRMED?” One image of you looking over at Eren from the beginning of the night as you led him outside to speak and the next few were far away photos of the two of you outside on the porch barely seen with the dimly lit patio. Through most of the photos it was clear who was there, the dress you wore had lamented in was you as the profile of you left no question. ‘Ren, wasn’t hard to recognize. There was an aura around him, the way he looked at you, pointedly but his face was not obscured by bad lighting or his hair. The recognizable smirk smile he wore and the black ink that barely peaked out from his sleeves left no questions. The tattoo you failed to recognize that night started mockingly back at you. There was no room to lie about who was there anymore and you were unsure if you were glad or annoyed with that fact.

But seeing the post made whatever you had with Yeager feel a million times more official, even if it was for the publicity you could not deny the warmth that flushed through your cheeks as you looked at the photos and how later that night you would end up making out in his car. Glancing back up, Sasha moved slowly to reach down to your screen, swiping and zooming between the photos. A brief guilty feeling coursed through you looking at her, even though she was your closest friend you decided not to tell her about the new “relationship” between you and the singer. Had she taken this photo? Had she known about the car ride and ‘Ren? Mallory repeated something but it was unclear if she said something to someone else in the office. I thought I heard my name but I was focused on the girl beside me. Whispering away from the phone, “Was that you and Niccollo?” You turned fully to the left, she shook her head. “Of course not-” cutting herself off as my manager interrupted. Should that have been a relief? Or a weight on my chest that I decided to keep those moments to myself.

“Please tell me you have looked through the comments and your analytics” she asked excitedly as if looking through new stacks of data. A new notification popped at the top of your screen alerting you to an image she sent you. Scrolling down to screenshots of the trend in profile visits from today on your instagram. “There’s a lot of opinions on the pair of you but overall it’s a lot of positive receptions, honestly far more than what Zeke expected especially for his brother.” “Look into his music, his most recent releases just began trending higher on the charts and the music category on both Spotify and Youtube for his music videos. Don’t even get me started on the reposts from the blogs and them eating the situation up. Your follower count has gone up within the hour and I got a text from Jaeger’s manager that not only are his streams going up but he has had a new influx of followers.” Her smile was heard through the phone as some confusing thoughts filled your mind. Were you and him official? What were you supposed to say if anyone confronted you in person? The last week’s endless conversations with Mallory should have told you how you react but you were unsure you wanted to voice anything when you hadn’t known any clarity between him and you.

“Hey Mallory” Sasha chimed in from beside you, “I’m here with her and she’s super excited on the rollout. Sorry we’re busy at the moment, we can’t chat for too much but thank you for the update.” I began to move to stand up and give Sasha a grateful smile, “yeah thank you so much, sorry for the late reply I have been in the middle of a lot since its my day off.”

“Oh no worries, I just needed to update you on the recent developments. I’ll text you any new information, take care okay babes?” she said before we said our goodbyes to end the call.

The red button clicked as silence filled the room, I paced around and looked at the tv show paused on the screen and I no longer wanted to watch it. My life was beginning to feel like another episode that was poorly thrown together. “What are you thinking? I can hear you angrily pace around” she said, frowning from the couch.

The hardwood floor felt cool beneath my socks, the small sounds of the air conditioning running brought my focus back and away from the loud flow of blood pumping to my head. I was angry right? Not at the media rollout, I was supposed to be angry at Jean? Any thoughts of him had made me shrivel up and scowl. I had felt anger at him, I wanted him to feel humiliated knowing I was moving on and especially with his old friend. But now, I wasn’t angry or focusing on him. The small anger I felt rise in me was a small tide of unease, a fear and a dislike of what was to be expected now? I felt so serious and committed to exploring being single and Eren made me feel more committed than any label had. He wanted me, was interested in and had liked me for years before I was living such a stable life. I hated to admit it but I was afraid, we weren't even really dating. The comments and reactions are from others who don’t know the amount of nights I cried in the last week wishing I wasted five years with someone who loved me and not Jean. A part of me felt an immense guilt that ‘Ren could only “have” me now that Jean had hurt me. He still controlled me after the break up, the night with Eren I felt like relieved of the burden. I felt like someone truly cared for me and I felt like I had a choice. I chose him, just like he always had. When we younger and even know. The glances from years ago and claims from friends that he was interested finally made sense, Jean's possessiveness when in front of him made sense. Part of my felt unworthy of his interest, I wanted a shot at love with someone I wanted. Yeager was that but it felt off in front of the eyes of thousands.

“I don’t even know. I think I’m so overwhelmed thinking about everything that has happened these past months that this is stressing me out so much” I finally broke the silence, ignoring the tidal wave that was begging for me to release. I turned and moved to sit back down, grabbing the remote to push play and hopefully allow Sasha to be distracted to not question me further. By the look she gave me I knew it did not distract her but she chose to not bring it up.

-

Hours later, Sasha had needed to head home and take care of her dogs while Niccollo got ready for his shift.

Around Midday I ate lunch, checked my emails, responded to a few texts from both managers, and spent some brief time scrolling slowly through the trending topics online. Easing myself through slow scrolls past the brief mentions of myself, after a while I kept seeing Jean’s name in the conversation and it turned my stomach. A feeling tugged at my mind the entire day, I wanted to know how Eren had felt. His name was trending, but so had far more negative news on his past issues with Jean and it felt inappropriate for me to reach out when I felt like I was hurting his image. In some reactions I was called the issue, who “quickly” moved on from her ex and purposefully got together with someone he publicly had issues with. It was true in a sense, but I hoped the news would impact my ex far more negatively.

I fidgeted, hovering my finger above the call button on his contact before my screen flashed. An incoming call from lit up, the name “Ren” taunted me. I urged myself to at least wait ten seconds to not seem too eager, clicking accept I said, “Hey” I said. “Hey,” his voice rang out loudly, “I wanted to talk to you. I haven’t had the chance all day but I’m hoping you’re free now”

“Yeah I am, its my off day today" I said. “Okay great, I had Zeke over when the blog posts dropped.” “Oh”

“Yeah, I wanted to see how you’re dealing with it,” he spoke. “I never really saw you as the type to be use to all this coverage. I told him we might want to wait a few more days-” I hurried to interrupt him. “It's okay ‘Ren", his nickname easily slipped out. “I know you mean well but I’m sure your brother told you they need to stick to the schedule” I spoke.

“well- yeah but if you needed the time it could all wait” he spoke earnestly, his side of the call was quiet and it surprised me. I never thought about how his life must have looked daily but I imagined he was in his own apartment. Sitting on his couch, maybe petting his dog or watching a game muted while listening to the sounds of the phone held to his ear. I imagined as I look around my own living room.

“Thank you, I know but we already agreed and they know what they are doing. We can’t really argue with Mallory or Zeke since it’s started.”

“I guess you’re right but let me know if it's too much, yeah?”

“Yeah, I will” I agreed.

“Good, I also called since I wanted to ask are you busy tonight?” he shyly asked, “because if you are I totally understand but um-” I listened feeling the heat hit my cheeks. “Do you want to go out tonight? Maybe get something to eat. Or we could stay in, you can come to mine and I’ll order food or something.” He rushed out the last words.

“Would it be okay if you came over to mine and we could eat in?”

“YEAH, yeah” he repeated a little in disbelief. “Does Thai food sound good? I can send you a link to a place's menu and pick some up later”

“That’s perfect, I’ll send my address” I said.

“Great- can I come over around 5?”

“Sure, but ren,” “Yeah?” he said hesitantly. “This isn’t a date, you’ll have to actually ask me out on a date” “

So we’re already planning second dates now?” he teasingly said.

“No, just making sure I make you know just because the internet says you 're together doesn’t mean you don’t have to put some effort in. If this is going to work, I want this to be slow but serious” I said.

“Trust me, I want to see how this goes but I also want you to want me” he said. ‘So did I’ is all I could think. “I know Eren,” I said “I’ll see you later and we can talk more later yeah?”

“Yup, I will text you when I’m on the way”

As I got off the phone, I went to tidy around the house before I could even prepare to get ready. Checking and double checking that everything was nice and neat. The nerves hit me despite knowing Eren would not judge my tiny slightly shambled home. A bell chimed from my phone, turning around as I looked around the room before spotting the small device. I found it innocently looking up again from the coffee table, this time the message wasn’t from Mallory or perhaps Eren saying he was headed over. One word,

Jean: hey

[lkblackham]

There are many things to say.

But really, everything can be said in one image.

Handala is a character that was created by Palestinian cartoonist Naji al-Ali. Handala is a 10-year-old boy who is a refugee, most often drawn with his back to the viewer - representing how the world has turned their back on Palestine.

Naji al-Ali was a refugee. He was forced out of his home with his family at the age of 10 during the 1948 Palestinian expulsion - an incredibly violent and excruciating event that was central to the current-day displacement and persecution of Palestinians today. Naji al-Ali grew up in a refugee camp. He went on to join the Nationalist Arab Movement, but was expelled several times and finally left altogether.

He eventually found his voice with drawing political cartoons, which were widely distributed and read. He was forcefully detained in 1985 by Israeli forces during their invasion of Lebanon, but managed to get out. He then left the Middle East altogether and moved to London, where he lived until he was shot in the neck outside of the office of the newspaper he worked for. He fell into a coma and died shortly afterwards. His assassin was never officially found, although there were strong suspects.

Naji al-Ali never committed an act of violence against anyone. He spoke through his art. Handala was/is his most famous character. al-Ali described him as being drawn as a humanisation of Palestine - channelling himself as the 10-year-old boy who was violently forced to leave his home, poor, wearing worn clothes and no shoes.

In al-Ali's words: "Handala was born 10 years old and he will always be 10 years old. It was at that age that I left my homeland. When Handala returns, he will still be 10 years old, and then he will start growing up."

He also said that Handala would "reveal his face to the readers again only when Palestinian refugees return to their homeland."

(Just to be clear, I'm pulling all of my info and a fair bit of wording from Wikipedia here, but you can easily find this information corroborated all over the Internet.)

With the current attempt at blatant genocide being perpetuated by the Israeli government against the Palestinians once again, artists all over the world are showing their support for Palestine by drawing themselves with Handala, or their own version of Handala. I'm not Palestinian, or even Arab. I'm just a white girl from California who barely knows anything. But this - I can at least do this.

I don't often talk about my Ph.D here, because it's usually so difficult to describe in such a way that I can convey its importance. I joke all the time that I'm just getting a degree in comics, but the reality is, it's much, much, much more than that. Comics are, in my opinion, the oldest form of art there is. And the reason comics are viewed as being a "low" or "crude" form of art - sometimes to the degree that it's not even regarded as "art" at all - is that they're accessible. They're so easy to read. They're so easy to publish. They're so easy to understand. And this accessibility has been recognized by artists and political authorities. Comics have been used as weapons to perpetuate political agendas. And they've been used to protest that weaponization. They've been used to spread lies, and truth. Sometimes both at the same time.

Naji al-Ali used comics to tell his story, and the story of all Palestinians - a story that is, horrifyingly, still being hidden. I would implore all of you to read, and to watch, and to listen, and to give whatever you can, to help the people who have been hidden all this time by hateful words and violent agendas.

[laresearchette]

Friday, January 13, 2022 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: SERVANT (Apple TV +) SUPER LEAGUE: THE WAR FOR FOOTBALL (Apple TV +)

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS PRESENTS THE TIDAL ZONE (Premiering on January 14 on YTV at 9:30am) GOLD, LIES & VIDEOTAPE (TBD - Discovery Canada)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

AMAZON PRIME CANADA HUNTERS (Season 2) THE TEST (Season 2)

CBC GEM BUMP (Season 3) FALLING THE U.S. & THE HOLOCAUST

CRAVE TV ALL ABOUT STEVE BACHELORETTE BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA THE BOXTROLLS CAMP COLD BROOK CITIZEN KANE DINE YOUR SIGN: (Season 1) ENEMY THE FABULOUS BAKER BOYS THE FIVE-YEAR ENGAGEMENT FUBAR FUBAR 2 HELL OF A WEEK WITH CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD (Season 1) HIGHWAY THRU HELL (Season 1) I AM BRUCE LEE INCENDIES MID-CENTURY THE MUNSTERS MY DOG SKIP A SINGLE MAN     TEEN MOM: GIRLS NIGHT IN (Season 2) VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS WOMAN IN GOLD YOUR HONOR (Season 2, Episode 1)

DISNEY + STAR THE FLAGMAKERS RETROGRADE THE TERRITORY

NETFLIX CANADA BREAK POINT DOG SKY ROJO (Season 3) SUZAN & FREEK TRIAL BY FIRE

GRAND SLAM OF CURLING (SN) 2:30pm: Canadian Open - Draw #14 (SN1) 6:30pm: Canadian Open - Draw #15 (SN/SN1) 10:30pm: Canadian Open - Draw #16

NLL LACROSSE (TSN/TSN5) 6:30pm: FireWolves vs. Thunderbirds

NHL HOCKEY (SN) 7:00pm: Jets vs. Penguins (SNWest) 10:00pm: Oilers vs. Sharks

OHL HOCKEY (TSN4) 7:30pm: Oshawa Generals vs. Kitchener Rangers

NBA BASKETBALL   (TSN2) 7:30pm: Warriors vs. Spurs (SN Now) 8:00pm: Thunder vs. Bulls (TSN2) 10:00pm: Nuggets vs. Clippers

MARKETPLACE (CBC) 8:00pm: 8:00pm: The People Vs. The Phone Giants: We put the big three phone companies to the test, revealing how you can get the best deal. And we compare Canada’s high prices to other countries.

HOUSE HUNTERS (HGTV Canada) 8:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE):  It's baby fever for two couples who are in a hurry to buy a home before their first baby arrives. In Washington, DC, expectant parents are at odds on price and location, and in California, a couple is conflicted about the cost to get their dream.

STUFF THE BRITISH STOLE (CBC) 8:30pm: Underneath the late Queen Elizabeth II’s coronation throne was a sacred stone that was stolen from Scottish kings. One Christmas night, a group of Glasgow students decided to steal it back.

THE NATURE OF THINGS (CBC) 9:00pm: Rat City: Remarkable superpowers make rats the evolutionary heroes of the animal kingdom.

TRANSPLANT (CTV) 9:00pm: Bash tries saving a couple whose wedding was waylaid by gunfire; Mags' demanding teen patient needs birth control; June struggles with an old habit; an activist patient puts Theo in his place.

SAVING THE MANOR (HGTV Canada) 9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Dean and Borja decide to close their vacation rentals and give their total focus to a long, hard winter of restorations to the manor; first up is the main floor of their historic Stables building.

MID-CENTURY (Crave) 9:00pm:  A couple rent a vacation home haunted by the spirits of the architect who built it and his two wives, as well as their deranged, living son.

CRIME BEAT (Global) 10:00pm: Cindy James: Terror in the Shadows Part 2:  For seven years, Cindy James told police she was being stalked; when the Vancouver nurse's lifeless body was found two weeks after she went missing, and no suspects, a coroner's inquest is called in hopes of solving the mystery.

KEN & BARBIE KILLERS: THE FRIENDS SPEAK (Super Channel Fuse) 10:00pm:  From the outside looking in, the relationship between Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka was picture-perfect, but it was a different story behind closed doors.

CAMP COLD BROOK (Crave) 10:50pm:  Strange events plague crew members of a reality TV show when they visit an infamous backwoods camp that was the site of a mass murder 20 years earlier.

[elfwreck]

The "x open houses; y homeless people" stats often also don't mention things like "many of those open houses are in places with extreme weather or no jobs or both, and aside from that, are often just not near substantial numbers of unhoused people."

I'm in the SF Bay Area in California. We have a lot of homeless people.

It does not matter to those people how many empty houses or apartments there are in Birmingham, Alabama. (One of the cities with a high vacancy rate. The highest rate is Orlando, Florida; I assume that's part of the magic statistic juggling and there are tons of "vacant" units that are basically reserved for spring break & summer vacation rentals.)

National vacancy rate is about 11%. (Much of that will be "waiting a couple of months between tenants," and some is "shut down for long-term repairs," and some is "absolutely nobody wants to live in this half-broken shack on a dirt road that's 8 miles from the nearest gas station or store of any kind, but someone used to so we're calling it a house and saying it's vacant.") San Francisco vacancy rate is under 3%. Poorer cities, of course, have a higher vacancy rate - Richmond's runs at about 7%.

A lot of the "wake up, sheeple!!!!" posts are either based on outright lies, or draw on statistics that cut out all the nuance that explains why the problem hasn't "just" been fixed by throwing some money at it.

Money would help. Money would help a lot. But a lot of the problems cannot be fixed by finding a dollar count and attempting to remove those dollars from the ultra-rich.

I am in favor of removing a lot of dollars from the ultra-rich. But we also need a plan for what to do with them, and that plan can't be developed by looking at vague national statistics.

https://x.com/hankgreen/status/1750973895824572763?s=46&t=WLunzndd86TYqPF2E217iQ

[dustbunny105]

Hey, so, Workshops for Gaza is a group of writers and educators who, as the name suggests, have been offering online workshops to benefit Gazan families affected by the genocide. Each workshop is a minimum $60 donation to one of their promoted campaigns-- one of which is very close to meeting the target, btw.

Anyway, there are a few upcoming that I've got my eye on and I was wondering if any of my mutuals-- or anyone following me, really-- would be interested in signing up for one of them with me so we can chat about it afterward. If you're interested but the cost is prohibitive, I can afford to cover one other person.

The three I'm most interested in are under the cut:

UNDISCIPLINED: A TRANSPACIFIC HISTORY OF SOLDIER REBELLION

Simeon Man

August 4, 2024 (Sunday)

10-12am PST

"Undisciplined" will focus on the history of soldier rebellion in the context of U.S. imperialist wars since 1945. Participants will learn how drafted and enlisted people of the U.S. military and other U.S.-backed armed forces organized themselves and collectively refused participation in the U.S. war machine.

Simeon Man is the author of Soldiering Through Empire: Race and the Making of the Decolonizing Pacific (UC Press, 2018). He teaches U.S. and Asian American history at University of California, San Diego.

To register for “Undisciplined,” donate to Hamza (suggested donation $60 USD / 56 EUR, please donate more if you can!) then fill out the registration form.

MIYAZAKI MODE Nina Li Coomes August 13, 2024 7:30-9:30pm CST “Miyazaki Mode” is a generative workshop that will use the work of Hayao Miyazaki as a jumping-off point for participants’ own creative practice. It is open to artists and writers of all experience levels but will specifically use writing-based exercises that draw on visual sequences and discussions of several Ghibli films. A familiarity with Miyazaki's work is welcome but not required!

Nina Li Coomes is a Japanese and American writer living in Chicago. Her work has won fellowships at Hedgebrook, Tin House, and Aspen Words. You can read it in the Chicago Reader, Eater, and the Believer, among other places. To register for “Miyazaki Mode,” donate to Ahmed’s family (suggested donation $60 USD / 47 GBP, please donate more if you can!) then fill out the registration form.

SEEING THE STANZA: USING EKPHRASIS AS A BRIDGE BETWEEN POETRY AND VISUAL ART Brittany Rogers August 25 2024 1-3pm EST

In “Seeing the Stanza,” participants will learn how to write ekphrastic poems, a genre of poetry which uses vivid language to describe or respond to a visual form of art. Participants will explore ekphrastic works by poets such as Tiana Clark and M. Mick Powell, then generate their own ekphrastic poems in response to contemporary forms of visual art. Brittany Rogers is a poet, educator and lifelong Detroiter. Her work has been published or is forthcoming in The Hopkins Review, The Poet Lore, Indiana Review, Four Way Review, Underbelly, Mississippi Review, Lambda Literary and Oprah Daily. Her debut collection of poetry, Good Dress, is forthcoming from Tin House Books in October 2024. She is Editor-in-Chief of Muzzle Magazine and co-host of VS Podcast.

[taekookfests]

single parent fest - fic reveals season 2

I know his name, I think about him every day. by Alice_KimTJN [link] 56.7k Words | Completed | Mature 

When Kim Taehyung comes back to Korea with his little daughter, his best friend Jeon Jungkook is there for him, ready to help him and put back together the broken pieces of him. But what happened between two best friends when without warning ancient feelings resurface together with an old promise that for Jungkook very much still stands? Broken and blue, Kim Taehyung finds Home again.

raising chaos by goofyarmy [link] 54k Words | Completed | Explicit

“Oh, no, don’t get me wrong,” Jungkook purses his lips. How does he explain what happened without scaring the new teacher? “She wasn’t bullied or something like that.”

A flash of surprise crosses Taehyung’s face, his eyebrows raise just the slightest before going back down. “Okay…”

“It's just that… she can be difficult,” Jungkook confesses, guilt all over his voice.

“I’m used to difficult kids,” Taehyung replies with a smile.

OR

When single father Jeon Jungkook has no other choice but to send his problematic 7-year-old daughter to a new school, the help he needs comes in the form of the sweetest teacher he has ever met.

Sweet lies - or The moment I knew who you are by Btsbangtan7 [link] 47.6k Words | Completed | Mature

Taehyung an Omega was short on money and saw an opportunity to get back on his feets, babysitting for a little two year old pup.

What could go wrong... Just the one note that they only want Alphas but who cares right, he just needed to hide his rank for the job!

He's not in the slightest attracted to the Single father Jungkook, not at all..

And Jungkook was never in his life more confused to suddenly feel something for an Alpha who turned his world upside down!

(You Know It's Not the Same) As It Was by Ship_Awakens [link]  31.1k Words | Completed | Explicit

In which Taehyung and Jungkook have always been close, but when Taehyung’s daughter crash lands in their lives, pulling them even closer together, they start to realise that feelings they thought were unreciprocated might very well be after all…

call it what you want. by moonchild__04 [link] 28.3k Words | Completed | Explicit

Taehyung, forty-years-old, travels along California with his kid, Nicholas, fourteen-years-old: a vacation made of sun, sea and surf. Taehyung desperately wants to rebuild the relationship with his son. His life is satisfying, he has a brilliant job and a nice apartment and a very smart best-friend in New York City, but something is missing, even if he doesn’t even realize it - until he meets him. Jeon Jungkook, thirty-three, a backpack and a notebook full of drawings and dreams. Jungkook is headed to San Francisco to search for a part of his family, but something - someone - holds him back where he is. In the middle of their personal crisis, Taekook fall in love in the most unexpected and sudden way. 

Anam Cara by Karla24WinTaeBear [link] 27.6k Words | Completed | Explicit

Kim Taehyung has been working two jobs to support his pup when Jeon Jungkook bursts into their lives. Taehyung has been burned by love before and now hates alphas even though one of his jobs has him constantly surrounded by them. Will Jungkook be able to break down the walls around Taehyung's heart and prove that he's the alpha Taehyung needs but didn't ask for?

The Paper Knife Murder by NaymeeTR76 [link] 27.1k Words | Completed | Mature

Detective Inspector Jeon is called to the estate of mega rich and powerful Chairman Kim to investigate a murder.

Coming face to face with a blood soaked Kim Taehyung and his small daughter, Jungkook hopes beyond all hope that this beautiful man is not the culprit.

Come back Home (to me) by aa3 [link] 25.4k Words | Completed | Mature

Taehyung knew the present was unpredictable, but he didn't think that his past would bump into him in a supermarket of all places. And then begins the continuation of his stupid heart's yearning as his past finally wants to comeback as his present.

Jungkook doesn't have a lot of regrets, but one thing was running away all those years ago. And now as he looks at what he lost due to that he just doesn't know what to do. And Jungkook really is trying to trudge that path of past to redo his faults.

In-between them a pre adolescent Ryujin, the daughter of the said self-torturing past , just might want to bang their heads together and make them see sense.

sex education (let’s talk about you and me) by loveremainsthecure [link] 21.6k Words | Completed | Explicit

When sex therapist Taehyung finds out it’s time for his son to take sex ed at school, he decides to create his own class in hopes of offering a more inclusive, sex-positive approach for the students. After getting his idea approved, Taehyung’s excited to start. There’s just one catch: he has to teach the class with assistance from Jungkook, Taehyung’s least favorite person and his son’s favorite teacher.

I dare you to kiss all the moles on my body by tanniesmorningdew [link] 15.5k Words | Completed | Mature

Taehyung is just trying to give his daughter the best that life has to offer, even if it means taking insults for his profession until he breaks down

Jungkook teaches etiquette to young children, he's good at his job, until he meets a parent who is even more impossible to deal with than the kids he teaches.

Kookie and the Bears by Ablyba649 [link] 6.1k Words | Completed | General Audiences

At twenty four, when asked "are you seeing anyone?" Taehyung had said "yes". 

He wasn't. But by the next family holiday, at the age of twenty five, he was a father. 

At twenty six, he was engaged. 

At twenty seven he was married. 

Now, at twenty eight he was divorced and sole custodian of his daughter

Spring Love by taekoosmoon [link] 4.7k Words | Completed | Not Rated

Bakery owner Jungkook on his usual day at work meets a cute little girl who apparently has an obsession for breads and left her father behind ... for breads. On cue a panicked Taehyung stumbling into the bakery only to see his darling daughter laughing with a pretty boy. Oh and Taehyung loves pretty things.

you know I have no chingu! by kicksomeacid [link] 33.5k Words | Ongoing | Not Rated

"I have a son, his name is Hyunjin, and he’s five years old. He’s in kindergarten and if you’re wondering, his favorite subject is art.”

“Well, he’s not very good at it,” Jungkook mumbles.

In which Jungkook discovers his secretary of three years has a child, and he's less than thrilled.

lavender haze by firewaterkv [link] 9.1k Words | Ongoing | Explicit

All his life Jeongguk has liked to plan. And plan. And plan some more. So when takes his kids to Hawaii for their first vacation as a family, he's confident nothing can go wrong. Until his ex-wife unexpectedly shows up and throws a wrench in his plans. Caught off-guard and wanting to seem less pathetic to her and her new boyfriend, he blurts out he's dating the kids' babysitter, Taehyung, and luckily, Taehyung decides to go along with this act for the next four days.

But soon the act starts to feel too real, and Jeongguk finds out that no matter how much you plan your life, it manages to throw some (welcome) surprises your way.

Peripheral Encounter by Maddyinluv for ifyoudontlisten [link] 6.1k Words | Ongoing | Mature

Taehyung, a divorced, workaholic office worker, is in the middle of a road trip with his teenage son when he stumbles into Jungkook. They contrast in appearance, personality, and struggles, but somehow they feel a string that draws them together. Who knew that the chance meeting will alter the lives of the three of them, and possibly more?

you're still in my bed, when morning comes by tanniesmorningdew [link] 3.8k Words | Ongoing | Mature

Kim Taehyung swore he would never date anyone with a child, he doesn't hate kids, just the burden and implications of having to take care of someone else's responsibility

Jeon Jungkook hasn't dated or fallen in love with anyone in years after breaking up with the mother of his child. Not until he walks in a studio to get his tatooe done and he meets the owner

Or

Can past hurts be healed or there's too much baggage for love to blossom?

To all the Kims I've loved before by littlemeowmeow_7 [link] 2.3k Words | Ongoing | Teen And Up

Single father Jungkook divorced of his wife because of lack of communication. Tired of seeing him lonely, twins Jongin & Taemin (11 yo) decide to write a letter to all their dad ex’s crushes in high school after finding a mysterious memories box. What they did not expect is receiving three answers of three men all named Kim. Chaos ensue.

of sweet smiles and lollipops by kalleninlove [link] 2.1k Words | Ongoing | General Audiences

The five times dentist Jeon Jeongguk catches Taehyung’s daughter stealing lollipops from his desk, and the one time she doesn’t.

Speak now (or forever hold your peace) by charjooning [link] 2k Words | Ongoing | Explicit

"Speak now or forever hold your peace."

"I object."

Everyone gasped as Jeongguk turned around searching for the voice and what he saw froze him

His lost lover, Taehyung holding hands with a child.

(a huge thanks to @/prplannie for helping me compile all these fics!)

[brookriver-mudlark]

snwo

[mint-yooxgi]

{18} - Hotel California - Yandere!Demonic Entities!Ateez X Reader

Yandere AU & Demon AU - Based off of This ask and Hotel California by Eagles

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Slight Humor

Pairing: Ateez X Reader

Words: 7,826

Warnings: Blood and mentions of wounds. Violence. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: So, I know this part is a bit shorter than all the rest, but it’s quite plot heavy in my opinion. It really sets up a lot of what is still yet to come, and essentially what the sequel will be about. I’m super excited to write everything out and tie everything together. Not to mention the repercussions of someone’s anger next chapter hehehe anyways, as always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

Main Story - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine - Part Ten - Part Eleven - Part Twelve - Part Thirteen - Part Fourteen - Part Fifteen - Part Sixteen - Part Seventeen - Mini Masterlist

The next ten minutes after you lose consciousness are the worst ten minutes of their entire lives.

“Yunho-“ 

“Already on it,” the taller male cuts his Captain off, gaze focussed on you body as tears line the corners of his vision. Like hell is he going to let you slip away from them now. Concentrating, Yunho holds on to your mind, cradling it gently as he tethers you to him.

San and Mingi are quick to carefully lift your body back onto the desk. Still, those goddamn arrows stick glaringly into the air, the silver gleaming almost mockingly in the light. Each male can smell your scent becoming stronger with every second that your blood continues to spill out of you.

The sound of tearing fabric finally draws Seonghwa back into reality, his tearful gaze locking onto your unconscious form being surrounded by his brothers on all sides. He takes a step forward.

Immediately, Hongjoong’s eyes are flashing, a warning snarl tugging at their leader’s lips as he glares at the eldest.

“Stand down.”

“I can help-“

“You’ve done enough.” Yeosang’s tone is harsh, the younger’s heated gaze being directed towards the eldest for only a brief moment before turning back to the task at hand.

The first arrow is removed from your back.

“Don’t-“

“Seonghwa.” Hongjoong’s stern gaze locks with the eldest’s. “Now is not the time.”

“Like hell you can keep me away from her,” he snarls back, teeth bared threateningly as his emotions consume him once more. Tears fall freely down his face with each breath he takes, a wild look in his eyes.

With a flick of Hongjoong’s head, both San and Jongho part from holding onto your body to restrain Seonghwa from taking another step closer.

“Let me go,” the eldest begins thrashing in their grip as they begin to drag him down the hallway. “I need to see her. I need to help.”

“Do you think you’re going to be the first person she wants to see when she wakes up?” San hisses, quite harshly, in the eldest’s ear. “You fucked up. Big time, Hwa.”

“She could have died!” His voice nearly shakes the whole house as they reach the stairs. “She could still die!”

“You think we don’t realize that?” Jongho spits, fear reflected in his gaze as his grip tightens around the eldest. It’s certainly a task dragging him up the stairs and into his room. “You think I don’t understand the fear you felt seeing her body hunched over like that, with arrows protruding from every angle? You don’t think I felt that same terror consume me when I smelt her blood?”

The eldest goes quiet, yet he still struggles to get free. To get back to you, and help you in any and every way that he can. To beg for your forgiveness, even in your unconscious state. He needs you to know that the words he spoke were some of the worst lies of his life. Words spat harshly in anger. In fear.

“You’re not the only one affected by this, Hwa.” Jongho’s voice is low, stern as he and San practically throw the eldest inside of his room. “But you sure know how to make it worse.”

“And now we are stuck on guard duty while the love of our lives bleeds out downstairs,” San’s eyes are sharp as he glares at the eldest, his hands shaking as he plops himself down into a side chair.

Jongho crosses his arms over his chest as he watches Seonghwa sit, defeated, on the side of his own bed. The eldest rests his elbows on his knees, leaning forward as he cradles his head in his hands, gripping onto his hair for dear life. More tears fall shamelessly down his cheeks, dripping onto the rug below.

“She’s going to hate me now, isn’t she?” His voice comes out much softer than before, reflecting how broken he feels. His heart squeezes painfully in his chest.

The two younger demons share a look between each other, blinking at how suddenly Seonghwa’s mood has changed. Neither are expecting the eldest’s voice to go so quiet as they watch his whole body begin to tremble, sobs wracking his entire form.

“I fucked up, and now the last memory she’s going to have is of me making her feel like she’s a burden.” His hands begin to tug at his roots, eyes squeezing shut as tears fall shamelessly from him. “I didn’t mean it. I never meant it. I don’t want to lose her. I can’t-” he chokes on a sob, “I can’t-“

“Seonghwa,” Jongho sighs, moving over to crouch in front of the eldest, and managing to get him to lift his head and meet the younger’s gaze. “No one understands your fear more than we do right now, but that does not excuse what you just said to her. You let your fear control your anger, and your anger control your words. You made your choice to protect her, just as we all did. She made the choice to protect a child. There was no reason to get mad at her for that. We all know that given the situation, if you were in the right state of mind, you would have done the exact same thing.”

“The child wasn’t even a target until she moved to protect him.” He voices, weakly.

“You think I don’t realize that?” Jongho’s eyes narrow slightly. “She had her reasons. You know as well as I do how certain instincts take over in life or death situations. You don’t think, you just move.”

Which is exactly what happened when they saw that very first arrow pierce your shoulder. All logic flew out of the window. All that was left was the urge to protect you, and destroy all those that opposed you. No one hurts you and gets away with it. No one.

“I failed her,” Seonghwa’s voice is but a whisper as more tears fall.

"If that’s what you truly think than you’re dumber than I thought,” Jongho sighs once more, standing back to his feet as he takes a seat beside San, whom they can tell is listening intently to everything that’s going on downstairs as he sits with his eyes closed, back pin straight and grip deadly on the arms of the chair.

“None of us want to lose her,” San blinks, focussing his gaze back in on the male on the bed in front of him. “Sure, it’s fucking shitty what happened, but you’re not going to change it now. We have bigger shit to deal with than whining about who’s fault it is, or ‘what if’s.” 

“How can I not blame myself?” Seonghwa stands, his eyes flashing as that familiar fury lights behind his orbs. “I swore I would never let anything hurt her, and now she’s bleeding out because of my mistake!”

In an instant, Jongho has shoved Seonghwa back down into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. He holds the eldest down by his shoulder, his fingers digging harshly into the eldest’s skin.

“You’re not the only one that feels this way, Seonghwa,” Jongho’s voice is cold as he purposely stares straight ahead, refusing to look down at his brother for the time being. “We all let her down. If she hadn’t of caught that first arrow-“

“She what?” Instantly, San is on his feet, his heart pounding as a newfound terror rushes through his veins.

“The first arrow was aimed right at her head,” Seonghwa breathes, eyes staring at his hands as his whole body goes still. “One moment she was gazing out into the forest, as if something caught her eye.” His own squeeze shut in realization. “The next she was holding an arrow pointed directly at her forehead.”

San inhales sharply. “She noticed before any of you.”

“Not even Wyno was the wiser,” Jongho exhales, sitting beside Seonghwa on the bed.

“How many-“ San swallows. “How many times was she actually hit?”

The two on the bed lift their gazes to meet San’s, nothing but pure terror shining in their eyes.

“Five,” Jongho breathes, swallowing the dryness in his own throat. “After she caught the first arrow, she immediately got hit in the left shoulder.”

“Pulled it out instantly, though.” Seonghwa recounts, rubbing a hand over his face. “She was furious.”

“Furious?” San’s brow furrows, recalling the way blood stained the front of your shirt as well. “At you?”

“No, I don’t think it was directed at us,” Jongho says, standing back to his feet. “I think it was at whoever shot at her.”

Before any of them can say much more, Hongjoong’s voice is echoing through their heads.

She’s stabilizing. The tremendous sense of relief that floods the room is visible in the way all of their shoulders relax, chests deflating as they release a breath of air. She’ll be okay.

Where are you now? San asks, already back onto his feet for the moment.

They’re all in her room. Mingi replies. Yeosang and Yunho are washing the blood from her as we speak. Wooyoung and I are making her another tonic for when she wakes up.

If it weren’t for that little bit of Yunho’s blood already in her system, things would have been much worse. Wooyoung comments, and all of them stiffen the slightest bit.

Did you feed her your own blood, then? Jongho voices the question on all of their minds as both he and Seonghwa stand from the bed.

It was a little more complicated than that. Wooyoung sighs.

Complicated how? San quirks a brow.

Instantly, the three of them are teleporting themselves to your room to see Hongjoong sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Hands which are still covered in blood. Your blood.

Slowly, they watch their leader lift his head. 

Hongjoong’s piercing gaze is immediately on Seonghwa, eyes narrowing at the eldest. “Have you managed to calm down?”

A curt nod is all he receives in response before his gaze is shifting to the other two beside the eldest.

“He’s got a lot to make up for once she wakes up,” San shoots a pointed look at the male beside him, who sends a sharp look back.

“Just let me see her,” Seonghwa turns his gaze back to the man on the couch, sad eyes pleading. “I need to know she’s okay.”

Either Yeosang has impeccable timing, or he’s doing it just to personally torture the eldest, but as soon as the words leave Seonghwa’s lips, the door to your bathroom is opening. Yeosang steps out, immediately followed by Yunho, who is carrying you gently in his arms. Your eyes are closed, arms resting on your stomach as your chest rises with even breaths.

“She’s still unconscious,” Jongho blinks, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“She probably won’t wake up for a while,” Yunho replies, stepping towards your bed where Yeosang has already pulled back the covers. “She’s lost a lot of blood.”

Carefully, and with the gentlest of ease, Yunho settles you beneath your covers. He angles you so that you’re laying on your stomach, pillow tucked securely beneath your head and arms so as not to aggravate the muscles in your back. They may have been able to heal you, but that doesn’t mean the area won’t still be tender for a little while longer.

It was all for naught, though, for in the next second, Yeosang is laying on the bed with you, pulling you into his arms as he curls you into his chest. His one hand gently strokes along your spine, holding onto you tightly, as if you may slip away at any given moment.

“Did you at least gut the bastard that fired those arrows?” His gaze is sharp as he turns to look at both Seonghwa and Jongho.

“We left none alive,” Seonghwa replies, matter of factly.

“So, you managed to kill the man with the red bow, then?” Yunho turns to them before sitting on the edge of your bed, hand reaching out to rest on your lower leg, just to be able to feel your warmth and know you’re still alive. That you’re safe, and what his brothers and he did worked.

“There was no hunter who carried a red bow that I saw,” Jongho’s brow furrows.

“How many ambushed you?” Hongjoong’s brow furrows, intertwining his fingers together in front of himself.

“Twenty.” Wooyoung answers for them as he enters the room with Mingi in tow. “Yet none of them used those silver arrows.”

Walking over to your bedside table, he places a glass of red liquid onto it.

“Are you sure?” Hongjoong shifts his gaze to Wooyoung who’s own eyes are locked onto your sleeping figure.

“Positive,” Jongho nods, brow furrowing.

“Then, he got away,” Yunho frowns.

“How would you know about the man with the red bow?” Seonghwa’s eyes narrow at the younger male.

“I took the liberty of searching her memories once she stabilized,” Yunho meets the eldest’s gaze with a firm one of his own. “First of all, it was a cloaking spell that covered their approach. One that fooled even the likes of you. If she hadn’t bothered looking past Wyno when she did, and taken note of the stillness of the woods, I-“ his voice catches. “We’re lucky she caught the first one.”

Yeosang visibly stiffens in his spot, along with both Hongjoong and Mingi.

“How many arrows were shot at her?” Yeosang’s voice is low, his fingers pressing a little firmer into your skin.

“Six.” Wooyoung replies, noticing how you seem to stretch in your sleep, your one arm draping over Yeosang’s waist and falling directly into his line of sight. Immediately, he’s on his knees, reaching out and grasping your hand in his, holding onto you for dear life. “Five met their marks.”

“Do we at least know who did this?” San spares a look around the room.

“It’s like we said,” Jongho breathes. “Miyeon’s got allies.”

“Wyno was in the midst of telling us how Miyeon prepositioned her with an alliance, along with a man with silver arrows and a red bow,” Seonghwa moves to sit in one of the side chairs, running his hands through his hair. “Apparently, Miyeon has an army now.”

“Well, we think it belongs to that man,” Wooyoung adds. “No one in their right mind would follow Miyeon on her own.”

“Wyno also mentioned that this man and her seemed to be bonded somehow,” Jongho goes on to say. “She said he seemed devoted to her.”

“And the alliance?” Hongjoong quirks a brow.

“Is null,” Seonghwa shakes his head. “Believe me, we got that lecture from Wyno already.”

“Good,” Hongjoong nods. “I didn’t believe Wyno would accept something so rash.”

“Yeah, and apparently Miyeon didn’t appreciate her answer,” Wooyoung sighs.

“Perhaps you all were just at the wrong place, at the wrong time,” Yunho comments, brow furrowed.

“Which raises a whole bunch of other questions, then, too,” San leans against the one pillar in your room.

Briefly, Jongho explains how the rest of the conversation with Wyno went, informing the others about the potential threats to come.

“This man,” Yeosang frowns, lips tugging downwards, “you said Wyno described him as having a scar over his left eye?”

“Yes,” Jongho nods once in confirmation.

Yeosang’s lips purse, brow furrowing even further as his arms tighten subconsciously around your figure.

“Do you know him?” San asks, pushing himself off of the pillar in the process.

Yeosang nods. “His name is Dimitri. He’s one of the most powerful warlocks of the realm. I-“ he lets out a sigh, “I trained him briefly with the bow, and I taught him how to make arrows. I just never thought he’d do something like this.” Then, more to himself, “I thought the style of arrow was familiar.”

“Wait, that Dimitri?” Mingi’s eyes nearly bug out of his head. “I thought he was dead.”

“I thought he settled down with his wife, and two kids,” Yunho blinks, lifting his hand only briefly as you shift slightly before settling it back onto your leg.

“Whatever the case, I’m sure Miyeon has something to do with it,” San spits, anger pulling at his features.

“If the army Miyeon is boasting to have is his, we might be in for a little more trouble than we’re anticipating.” Jongho sighs. “Not to mention the remains of that scattered uprising we have to deal with tonight.”

A sharp inhale is heard throughout the room.

“I’m not going-”

“Like hell you aren’t,” San rounds on the eldest, their gazes locking as both males narrow their eyes at each other.

“I’ve already decided that both Yeosang and Wooyoung will be staying back to watch over her,” Hongjoong shoots them both a sharp look. “The rest of us will have to deal with the council as quickly as possible. You said Wyno wanted us to bring this up to them, anyways. You need to be there to explain what happened.”

“But Jongho-“

“That’s an order,” Hongjoong’s voice is firm as he cuts the eldest off. “I’ve already granted you leniency by allowing you to stay this long in her presence. Don’t push your luck, Hwa.”

“You can’t keep me away from her.” The eldest’s eyes narrow as he watches his captain stand from his spot. “You can’t push me away.”

“No,” Hongjoong meets his gaze, and the fury Seonghwa sees shining behind his eyes has him blinking in shock. “You did that yourself.”

“You think I don’t realize that?” Seonghwa retorts, his own anger bubbling beneath the surface of his skin for the nth time that day.

“I don’t know, Seonghwa,” Hongjoong turns fully to face him. “Do you?”

“You got mad at her for protecting a child, Hwa,” Mingi spares a glance at his brother out of the corner of his eyes. “Then, you went and said that.”

“Did you actually not care if that child died?” Wooyoung, who had been resting his chin on the edge of your bed as he sat on the ground, turns his attention to the eldest.

“Of course I cared,” Seonghwa spits, eyes blazing at that question having to even be posed. “I simply cared more about her in the moment.”

“You have some serious explaining to do when she wakes up,” Yeosang states, quite pointedly. “If she’ll even want to see you.”

Seonghwa’s breath hitches.

“Did any of you know?” San’s voice comes out slightly smaller than they expect.

“About her sister?” Yunho meets the younger male’s gaze. “No. I didn’t.”

Each male shakes their head.

“None of us did,” Hongjoong sighs, running a bloody hand through his hair. “Though, that’s only half of it. Isn’t it?”

At this, they all turn to look at Seonghwa, who visibly shrinks beneath their gaze.

“You don’t need to lecture him,” Jongho shoots a pointed look around the room. “I already did. He already feels bad enough about it.”

“As he fucking should,” Wooyoung spits, nothing but venom lacing his voice. “I was there, too, Hwa. We all felt that panic seize us; that terror taking hold and flooding our veins. It’s not a fucking excuse for making her feel worthless.”

“You don’t think I’ve regretted those words most of all as soon as they left my lips?” Seonghwa rounds on him, eyes shining as tears of frustration line his vision. “I swore I would never hurt her, yet that’s what I seem to be constantly doing.”

“If all you’re going to do is argue over her unconscious form, then leave,” Yeosang snaps, voice low and tone harsh. “She doesn’t need this right now.”

“I get it,” Seonghwa laughs once, dryly, his lips twitching as a single tear blazes a new trail down his cheek. “It’s what you’ve all been thinking since we got back, anyways. She doesn’t need me.”

In the blink of an eye, Seonghwa has disappeared from your room, leaving the others standing there in shock. However, before any of them can go after him, Hongjoong raising a hand in the air stops them.

“Leave him be,” he sighs, rubbing a hand over the side of his face. “Let him cool off first. He needs to sort out his own head. You all know as well as I do that he says things he doesn’t mean when he’s upset.” Hongjoong turns his head towards your sleeping figure, another small rush of relief flooding his veins as he sees the steady rise and fall of your chest against Yeosang’s. “Case in point.”

A few nods is all he receives in confirmation.

Letting out a long exhale through his nose, Yunho reluctantly removes his hand from your leg. Standing to his feet, he cracks his neck. “We should probably get ready for tonight, anyways.”

“Exactly,” Hongjoong nods once. “We need to take care of our own before worrying about anything else.”

Without another word, the five of them leave your room. Not without shooting some longing glances your way first, of course.

Lingering at the door, Hongjoong shoots once final look in your direction.

“Don’t worry, Captain,” Wooyoung smiles at him faintly. “We’ll take care of her.”

“We’ll let you know if anything happens,” Yeosang adds, locking eyes briefly with the elder male who nods once before softly closing the door to your room.

Only, the door doesn’t stay closed for long, for in the next second, a loud mewl is heard from outside, promptly followed by the door opening just a crack. A tiny, black blur darts in, immediately jumping onto the bed and crawling up alongside your body until he reaches your head, sniffing at your newly healed shoulder lightly.

Another mewl escapes him, Kuroo’s wide, golden eyes turning to look at each male with nothing but concern shining within.

“She’ll be okay,” Yeosang chuckles, reaching over and petting Kuroo’s head lightly. “You don’t need to worry.”

“Why don’t you stay,” Wooyoung grins at the cat who already is curling up against your back, purring lightly. “I’m sure she’ll love knowing you’re protecting her while she sleeps.”

Another mewl is heard, more pointed than the last which has both males chuckling once more. 

Soft smiles tug at their features, though, there’s a hint of sorrow to each of them, as they continue watching over your sleeping form for the time being. Both vow to never let anything like this happen to you again. They never want to see you in such a state if they can help it. 

Wooyoung can still feel the way his hands shook as he figured out just what type of poison coated those arrows. A simple mixture which only affects humans. It’s one of the reasons why your hands burnt when you touched the metal. 

He will never forget having to pour his own blood into your open wounds in order for the antidote to take effect. You were unconscious, and it would have taken to long to feed it to you normally. Thank fuck Mingi was there to get the mixture flowing through your veins, while making sure your heart was still pumping.

Still, you’ll need to drink the tonic as soon as you wake up to make sure there’s no lingering effects from the poison. Also, to make sure you’re properly healed. They all did their best, but you’ll still be a bit stiff. Your body isn’t used to such changes, or magic yet. The shock alone of having been impaled by five arrows within the span of ten minutes would have been enough to kill anybody.

Maybe you’re just lucky.

Wooyoung’s hand tightens around you own, resting his head against his one arm.

No. He shouldn’t be thinking like that. Yes, it’s damn lucky that you survived, but Wooyoung knows you’re strong. Yunho’s blood running through your system be damned. You fought to survive today, and you won.

Besides, they wouldn’t have let you die. Not in a million years, least of all now. Not like this.

At least once Yeosang figured out the type of arrows that were used, he was able to remove them quickly. He will never forget the way your whole body spasmed as he removed the final two. They were the worst ones, embedded deeply within your back and causing you to bleed out almost uncontrollably. They’re seriously lucky you didn’t pass out from blood loss sooner.

At least you’re okay now, and they have an idea of who they’re dealing with. Miyeon and her little ‘army’ won’t get away with this so easily. After all, if you hurt one of them, you hurt all of them. No one touches you and gets away with it. Absolutely no one.

Hours pass like this, with the two of them watching over you as you sleep. Wooyoung opts to move to the other side of the bed, propping himself up with his one arm as Kuroo continues to rest against your back, curled in around Wooyoung’s stomach. His hand rests on the small of your back, thumb gently rubbing circles there as Yeosang continues to hold you in his arms. 

Neither male says anything, yet they do not need to. The silence is a bit tense with worry, but with each breath you take, the rise and fall of your chest eases that lingering tension. They both know that it’s only a matter of time before you wake up. They’ve done all that they can for now. All that’s left to do is continue watching over your sleeping figure.

If only it weren’t so hard waiting this time around.

Before they left for the evening, each of their brothers popped their heads in one last time to check up on you. Even Seonghwa lingered for as long as he could in hopes he might catch a glimpse of consciousness returning to your form, so that he could immediately apologize, and beg for your forgiveness.

At least the eldest has seemed to have cooled down, finally.

Only, the longer he lingered with you not so much as shifting, he felt his heart squeezing painfully in his chest. Letting out a sigh, Seonghwa reluctantly pulled himself away, meeting the others swiftly in the foyer.

“Ready to go?” Yunho sighs, straightening out his jacket stiffly.

“No,” San grumbles, voice rough as his arms cross in front of his chest. “Are any of us?”

“The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can get back here and watch over her,” Hongjoong reminds them all. “She’s safe with Yeosang and Wooyoung all the same.”

“We know,” Mingi replies. “It’s just hard leaving her knowing what’s happened today.”

“I know it is,” Hongjoong exhales a long breath through his nose. “Let’s just hurry up, and be done with this.”

Immediately, all six of them are transporting themselves to their throne room. They each take a few minutes to compose themselves before they begin this council. The last thing they want is to fuck something up now, or be ambushed again.

With their guards up, and senses on high alert, the six Kings enter the grand hall.

Seonghwa remains unusually silent, face stoic as he gets lost inside his own head. There’s too many thoughts flitting through his mind right now to focus on one single thing. All he does know, is that he wants to get back to you, and make things right as soon as he possibly can.

The first ten minutes of the council is a blur. Jax goes over some basic things with all of them that they couldn’t really care less about. Until finally, the five rebels that were caught are brought in front of them, four cursing and thrashing all the while.

Each King takes his time to observe the three males, and two females forced to their knees in front of them. Hatred shines in each of their pure black eyes, snarls on their lips as they spit harsh words towards their supposed leaders. That is, until Yunho silences them once and for all.

There is nothing quite like the look of fear that takes over a demon’s face when they realize they’re finally powerless within their own minds.

A twisted smile pulls at Hongjoong’s features as he slowly steps forward, a hush settling over the gathered council.

“I’m only going to ask you this once,” his eyes flash, stalking down the line of the five captives and exerting complete dominance over the entire room. All are silent, waiting for their King to speak once more. “What cause did you think you had to oppose us?”

Hongjoong stops in front of the male furthest to the right, staring down his nose at him. Normally, the scrutinizing gaze is enough to send any demon trembling in their spot, but apparently not this demon.

“Go to hell,” he spits on the floor at Hongjoong’s feet, snarl of disgust tugging at his lips.

Hongjoong’s brows raise, clearly amused by this male’s audacity.

In the blink of an eye, the man’s entire throat is torn out, blood dripping from Hongjoong’s hands as his claws retract. His eyes close as he shakes his head, tutting all the while as the male chokes on his own blood. A moment later, he goes limp, his blood soaking into the floor of the grand hall.

Stepping in front of the next demon, one of the females who visibly cannot keep herself from shaking in fear now, Hongjoong’s eyes flash open.

Immediately, she freezes, transfixed by his piercing gaze.

“I am not in the mood tonight to play games,” his tone is firm, commanding. “Do not test my already thin patience.”

A brief pause, as the female demon takes a deep breath to steady her nerves.

“We were promised a new world,” she begins.

“Shut your fucking mouth, woman!” The second male beside her hisses.

A resounding crack echoes throughout the hall as Jongho snaps the male’s neck without a second thought. Allowing the now limp body to fall to the ground, the youngest sends the woman a polite smile to continue, though she’s not at all reassured.

“Who promised you a new world?” Hongjoong’s voice manages to draw her attention back onto him for the time being.

“Our leader, and his Queen.” She replies, noticing how the six of them all tense at her words. “He said she’s the one true heir to the proper throne.”

“Which throne, prey tell, would that be?” Mingi quirks a brow, a fire lighting behind his eyes as he stares down at this woman.

“One that doesn’t allow whores to rule freely over us,” the second woman spits, ignorant to the way all of the King’s eyes flash as they turn to glare at her. “One that doesn’t submit to dirt.”

A sickening crunch is heard as San tears her heart from her chest, dropping the organ unceremoniously back down to the floor in the next second. A look of disgust rests on his features as he flicks his hand, blood splattering in droplets across the remaining two demon’s faces.

“And just who is this leader of yours?” Hongjoong inquires, noting how the woman’s trembling gaze is back on his in an instant.

“I don’t-“ her whole body shakes as he leans in, “I don’t know.”

“I don’t have time for lies,” Hongjoong hisses, grabbing her harshly by her hair and tilting her head back as his eyes flash. “I need a name.”

“Don’t tell him,” the final man hisses, and despite being forced onto his knees, he rests quite proudly in his spot, head held high. “He’ll just kill you anyways. It’s what happens when you fall in love with a worthless human.”

All of their eyes flash at this, but it’s the eldest who reacts the quickest.

A dull thunk is heard as the man’s head hits the floor, torn clean from his shoulders. A fury ignites behind Seonghwa’s eyes as he scans the crowd of the council, practically daring anyone else to say something negative about you just so he can relieve some more of his anger.

The entire room goes silent.

Hongjoong leans in once more to the final woman left kneeling before him, tears trailing down her cheeks as her whole body continues to tremble.

“I just need a name,” he coos, crouching in front of her and tilting his head almost innocently. “A single name, and all of this will be over.”

Her eyes briefly dart around the room, looking from one King to the next, and finding no sympathy in any of their eyes. She swallows thickly.

“Malik.”

Silent whispers begin to echo throughout the room from the attending council, a few letting out startled gasps. The shunned general’s name is known far and wide throughout the realm. A name which hasn’t been heard in years, ever since his banishment.

“Silence!” Hongjoong’s voice booms, and immediately, the room goes still. Turning back to the woman, a maniacal smile stretches across his features. “And what of his supposed Queen?”

“I don’t know,” she shakes her head vigorously. At least, as much as she can with her hair still in his grip.

Hongjoong tilts his head threateningly, eyes wide and wild. “Don’t test me.”

“I don’t know, I swear!” She sobs. “We never met her in person, Malik only talked about her in passing, saying her identity was best kept hidden until the time is right.”

Hongjoong hums, “I see.”

The woman lets out a small breath in relief, her shoulders relaxing the slightest bit as she believes she is safe for now. She’s answered all of his questions, so they should be letting her go any second.

“We appreciate the information,” Hongjoong grins unnervingly.

In the blink of an eye, the woman collapses to the ground, body still as she lays dead upon the floor.

Letting out a long sigh, Hongjoong stands back to his full height. Briefly, he allows his piercing gaze to scan over the room, noticing how both Mina and Otis stand off to the side, the daughter half hidden behind the father. His eyes narrow.

“Are you aware of what your other daughter has been up to recently?” His tone is firm as he begins his interrogation of Otis in front of the entire council.

“No, Your Majesty,” Otis is quick to shake his head. “I haven’t had contact with her since the last meeting.”

Hongjoong’s brow quirks. “Is that so?”

“Please, whatever she has done,” he immediately drops to the floor in a formal bow, pressing his forehead to the ground beneath their feet, “accept my deepest and humblest apologies.”

“Oh, it’s far too late for that, now,” Seonghwa spits, eyes blazing as he watches Otis lift his head.

“We all have bigger issues to deal with,” Hongjoong’s voice echoes around the room, drawing every head to him as he paces just in front of the crowd with his hands crossed behind his back. “Miyeon, it seems, has gone forth and promoted a new era amongst us, proclaiming herself the ‘One True Queen’ for this rebel cause.”

“You lie!” Otis gasps, sitting back onto his heals as he observes his Kings with wide eyes.

“You dare accuse us of trickery?” San straightens, shadows being cast over the room as his figure seemingly grows to tower over all those gathered before him.

“No,” Otis is quick to shake his head, shrinking back beneath the scrutinizing gazes of his Kings. “Never, My King.”

“Then, keep your mouth shut.” San’s eyes flash, and immediately Otis goes silent.

“As I was saying,” Hongjoong clears his throat, drawing the room’s full attention back onto himself once more. “Miyeon has aligned herself with the rebel cause, but that’s not all. She has also made it her sole mission to seek alliances with our neighbouring realms in hopes of destroying us.”

“But why?” Mina steps forward, a look of pain shining in her eyes. “Why would she do that?”

“Please, Mina,” Jongho raises a hand to signify her to ‘stand down’. “Let us finish.”

“My apologies, Your Majesties,” she bows her head, taking a step back.

“You were all here last council when she made a scene,” Mingi’s eyes are sharp as he scans the crowd, locking in on Miyeon’s own clan in the next second. “You saw her vain desires first hand.”

“Miyeon has deluded herself into thinking she owns the throne, and she will stop at nothing to claim it.” Hongjoong continues. “Already, she has made an alliance with Dimitri, The High Warlock. One of the most powerful to have lived in centuries.” 

A collective gasp travels through the room, more hushed murmurs following.

“Not only that, but she has already propositioned Wyno, The Alpha of the Dragons, to join her cause.” Hongjoong’s steps are slow as he stalks along the edge of the crowd. “She did not take too kindly to Wyno’s rejection, and subsequently attacked the nest in retribution earlier today. That is where your two remaining Kings are right now. Both Wooyoung and Yeosang are dealing with the repercussions as we speak. We are lucky the ambush did not turn one of our own against us.”

“Already, Miyeon boasts of an army she has to destroy our realm in order to create this ‘New World’ of hers,” Yunho goes on to say, his voice commanding and firm. “We surmise it belongs to Dimitri, comprised of his own following of sorcerers and hunters alike, as well as anyone else she can ensnare in her little mind games.”

“We must resolve this quickly, lest we all want a war on our hands,” San speaks once more, gaze narrowed as he scrutinizes the crowd. “Prepare yourselves for the worst, and report any and all sightings of Miyeon, Malik, and Dimitri to us. Immediately.”

“Spread the word, far and wide,” Seonghwa voices, gaze dark and brooding. “A storm is coming, and Your Rulers are prepared for the worst.” His eyes flash. “We will not break easily.”

A moment of silence settles over the entire room as they let the information sink in. That is, until Hongjoong’s sharp gaze is piercing through the crowd once more.

“Someone clean this mess up,” he spits, eyes flashing. “Until then, dismissed.”

None of them wait a moment longer to hear another word from the council, teleporting back to their home in an instant. The front foyer greets them, as empty as it was when they left.

“Were you able to search their minds?” Hongjoong turns towards Yunho, noticing how the other four do the same almost immediately.

“I searched them thoroughly, but it seems as if they knew about as much as that one girl did,” Yunho responds with a sigh. “At least we know she was telling the truth.”

“Years without hearing so much as a peep from that traitor, and this is how Malik decides to return?” San huffs, running a hand through his hair.

“Well, we always knew he was one for grand displays of power,” Mingi exhales a long breath through his nose. “We didn’t appoint him our general for nothing. He was- is strong.”

“Of course Miyeon would align herself with the man who committed treason,” Jongho scoffs, shaking his head. “At least they have something in common.”

“Perhaps that’s how she won him over.” Yunho suggests. “It wouldn’t take much to convince him of violence. Especially against us.”

“How long has it been, anyways?” Seonghwa frowns, crossing his arms over his chest.

“At least twenty years,” Jongho breathes out.

“Let’s just hope, once word spreads, we can find them all quickly and dispose of them without a hassle,” Hongjoong sighs, rubbing a hand over the side of his face. “The last thing we need is for a repeat of today to happen any time soon.”

“Agreed.” The other five all reply at once.

“We should inform Yeosang and Wooyoung of what occurred at the council,” Jongho adds, receiving a curt nod from their captain.

Turning towards your side of the house, all six men begin to slowly make their way to your room. Hongjoong leads the pack, followed closely by San and Yunho. Jongho and Mingi are not far behind, leaving the eldest to take up the rear, much to his discontent. If he had it his way, he would have transported straight to your room the second he got back.

“Do you think she’s woken up yet?” Mingi does his best not to sound too hopeful, but he cannot hide the small gleam in his eyes.

“We’ll see,” Yunho replies, somewhat gruffly. As much as he wants to hope you’ll be awake when they open your door, he know you probably won’t be. You’ve suffered too much damage today, and lost a lot of blood. Besides, it’s far too quiet in the house for you to be awake.

A soft knock is all the two males receive before your door is opening slowly to reveal their brother’s all standing in the doorway.

Hongjoong cannot help it, a small laugh escapes him at the position he finds you in. Kuroo rests like a loaf of bread on your back, while you seem to have trapped one of both Wooyoung’s and Yeosang’s arms beneath your body as you lay on your stomach.

Slowly, the six men file into the room, Kuroo observing them carefully.

“Comfortable?” Yunho chuckles, a small grin pulling at his lips.

“I haven’t been able to feel my arm for the past hour and a half,” Yeosang deadpans, blinking once.

“Oh, like you’re complaining about it,” Wooyoung rolls his eyes playfully. “You practically swooned when she pulled your arm into her grip.”

“Say’s the one who turned as red as a tomato when it happened,” Yeosang counters, shooting his brother a sharp glare.

“I never said I didn’t,” Wooyoung defends himself, voice slightly higher pitched than normal. “I am more than content to lay here with her like this.”

“Who said I wasn’t?” Yeosang quirks a brow, feeling you shift slightly in your sleep.

Wooyoung cannot keep the smug grin off of his face as you tighten your grip subconsciously around his one arm. He chuckles, sticking out his tongue mockingly at Yeosang who seems to now be wearing a slight pout on his lips. Looks like you loosened your grip on his own arm when you tightened it on Wooyoung’s.

“I take it she hasn’t regained consciousness yet, then?” Hongjoong moves to sit at the end of the bed, placing a hand gently over the back of your calf covered by your blankets. The warmth he can feel radiating from your body comforts him, even if only slightly.

“Not long enough to hold a conversation, if you can call it consciousness at all.” Wooyoung replies. “We’ve managed to feed her some of the tonic, but nothing more.”

Sure enough, when they look at the glass on your bedside table, it appears to now be two-thirds full.

“I don’t think she’ll even remember drinking it,” Yeosang sighs, reaching over to brush his free hand lightly over your head and noticing Kuroo turning his head to watch his every move. “Let alone waking up for thirty seconds. Her eyes didn’t even open once.”

As soon as Kuroo deems Yeosang’s movements not a threat to you, he’s turning his head back to the six males all converged around the end of your bed. He starts purring lightly at feeling Yeosang scratch over his back, eyes falling shut as he continues to rest on your back, offering you comfort in his own way.

A nod in understanding is all Yeosang receives from his captain.

“How did the council go?” Wooyoung asks, eyes scanning over each of his brother’s intently.

“About as well as you’d expect,” Seonghwa sighs, eyes never having left your form since entering the room. 

So badly does he want to pull you into his own arms, whispering his deepest and sincerest apologies into your ears. To assure you that he’ll always protect you, and that he’ll always be here for you. That you are not a burden, and you never were, nor will you ever be. Only, he cannot. Every time he tries to take a step closer, Yeosang narrows his eyes at him pointedly. Not to mention the fact that both Jongho and San step slightly in front of him as if to block his path.

To say the eldest is frustrated for the moment would be an understatement.

In no time at all, Hongjoong, Yunho, and Jongho have informed both Yeosang and Wooyoung about the events of the council and what they have learned. At the way they see Yeosang’s eyes close, their brother heaving a great breath, they can just tell he’s tense.

“Damn Miyeon,” Yeosang spits. “Should have fucking killed her when we had the chance.”

“Believe me, you’re not the only one feeling that same sentiment,” San flexes his one hand, knuckles cracking as he does so. He can still feel the dried blood caking his nails from when he tore out that woman’s heart earlier that evening.

“I’m surprised Malik is back,” Wooyoung voices. “I would have thought we would have had to deal with him sooner.”

“Still, him popping up now of all times isn’t good,” Mingi states, sharing a look with the younger male.

“How long do you think Miyeon’s been planing this?” Jongho’s brow furrows.

“Probably much longer than any of us would care to admit,” Yunho sighs, rubbing a hand over the side of his face. “The fact that she’s managed to ensnare two deadly men into helping her, and who knows how many others, is not a comforting thought.”

“You’re telling me,” Hongjoong shakes his head, attempting to wrap his head around the situation. “Either way, there’s nothing more we can do tonight. Let’s all just get some rest, and regroup tomorrow.”

“But-“

“Tomorrow.” Hongjoong is quick to cut the eldest’s protests off, Seonghwa’s gaze finally breaking from your form to look at his captain.

“Come on, let’s let her rest,” Jongho begins to usher the eldest out of your room, along with San who attempts to linger behind everyone else in hopes he’ll be asked to trade places with one of his brothers on your bed. “We’re no use to her all high-strung and tense.”

Making it to the door, Hongjoong is quick to turn to the two males still laying on your bed with you. “If anything happens-“

“You’ll be the first to know,” Yeosang nods, assuring his brother with a small smile.

“Don’t worry, Captain,” Wooyoung grins. “She’s in good hands.”

“I know.” Hongjoong smiles softly, gaze flitting over the scene before him one last time. She always will be.

Content hums of agreement echo in all of their throats as their captain’s words resound through their minds for the evening.

With one final look your way, Hongjoong closes the door.

[paladinsbrainrot]

‘Dear Billy’ Vs ‘Dear Mike’ - Analysis

This was something I had touched on my side-blog, but I feel as thought I’ve acquired enough information for this to become a full-blown analysis. I found it a bit odd how the teaser for 004 started with ‘Dear Mike’, and the trailer started with ‘Dear Billy’ so I did some further investigating. 

Through this, we can see some similar themes which parallel Max and El’s letter. There are two main conclusions that I can draw from these parallels, which may determine El’s true feelings while she wrote this letter to Mike, and why she covered it up with lies, and Max’s inevitable death. 

‘Dear Billy, I don’t know if you can even hear this. Ever since you left everything’s been... a total disaster. For awhile we tried to be happy. Normal. But I know that’s impossible.’ 

‘Dear Mike, Today is day 185. I think I have finally adapted. I even like school now. I have made lots of friends. Even so, I am ready for spring break. Mostly because I get to see you. We will have the best spring break ever.’ 

So, where to begin? 

We can see in 004 that El’s letter is NOT actuality, and she’s covering up what is actually happening to her with lies so that Mike doesn’t worry, or either for her own personal benefit, so she can try and convince herself that this is how life works and that this is what is supposed to make you happy. Either way, we know El is lying because the bullies, and that one girl ignoring her as she passes through the halls.

So, if we use Max’s letter and overlap it with El’s, we can possibly see the consequences of this season and what she truly feels. 

‘Dear [Mike] I don’t know if you can even hear this

I’ve had my suspicious about this scene for quite some time, and after viewing this scene through multiple different perspectives, I’ve come to the conclusion that Mike is probably piling up El’s letters and saving it for a specific time to read all of them. 

I genuinely don’t think El’s single letter would fit onto three (or more pages), even if it did drag on for a few more sentences. So either Mike isn’t reading El’s letter (which would ALSO be a possible conclusion for this theory) or he’s waiting to read them, which means he isn’t reading them when they come. 

Or... a theory that I thought of just now, El’s letters get mixed up in shipping and don’t arrive on time, and instead arrive at a single time, which explains how Mike has a bunch all at once... ouch :(

But my theory is simple, El doesn’t know if Mike is reading her letters because of any of these theories I have just stated. 1) He isn’t reading El’s letters, 2) he’s waiting to read them, or 3) they don’t arrive on time. Therefore, she doesn’t know if he can even hear it. 

‘Ever since you left, everything’s been... a total disaster

Even though Mike never essentially LEFT, they are still seperated and will be for the majority of the season. Everything seems to turn into a disaster, as El is getting bullied and even after this letter is sent, El willingly gives herself up to the lab in order to save her friends, resulting in disaster in Hawkins. 

‘For awhile we tried to be happy. Normal. But I know that’s impossible.’

This may be referring to El and Will (hence the ‘we’), as Will doesn’t seem to happy either living in this environment. But El, oh poor El. We see El trying to fit in and be a normal teenage girl, but she finds that she can’t be happy because her friends lie in Hawkins, where she believes she belongs.

She tries to be happy, as seen in the first frame, greeting her ‘friend’, but then she ignores El she realises that it’s impossible to fit in, because she’s just THAT out of place here in California. 

Now, what can we draw from these parallels: El is not happy, and Max’s letter reveals the truth in her feelings, and what is actually happening. 

In my post on my side-blog bringing attention to these parallels, I’ve noticed a lot of people and what I first drew to was that it can parallel Mike and El as siblings more than them as a romantic relationship. Obviously, they don’t have the same awful relationship as Max and Billy, but it can further prove that their relationship isn’t a romantic one. I believe I’ve made a post where I note a couple of the instances where Mike and El have been referred to as siblings, and here is just a little highlight:

- The Party explaining to Mr. Clarke that Eleven is Mike’s Swedish cousin - Eleven wearing Nancy’s dress - Being compared to Holly (Lucas saying “She says 'no’ and 'yes’. Your three year old sister says more!”)

I’ve also seen people point out that this could lead to Mike’s death, but I feel like it leads to El’s true feelings and Max’s death more than anything else.

Now that we can see how Max’s letter overlaps El’s, we can see how El’s letter overlaps Max’s. 

‘Dear [Billy] Today is day 185.

This may be insinuating that Max talks to Billy every day, or if not every day at least often. We see Mike call El everyday in S2, and El keep track of the passing days in S4. Who’s to say Max doesn’t do the same? 

‘I think I have finally adapted. I even like school now. I have made lots of friends.

This may be the only part of the letter which doesn’t fit, but that’s not to say that it completely doesn’t. In El’s letter, we can see that in this part she lies, which can mean that Max is doing the same thing. The only characters who seem to be making new friends are Lucas (his basketball buddies) and Mike and Dustin’s new Hellfire Club friends. It seems like Max hasn’t been making many friends, much or less a social life. She doesn’t seem to be enjoying school either, hence her new counselor, and that audition tape. 

‘Even so, I am ready for spring break. Mostly because I get to see you.

Spring break... seeing Billy... uh oh.

This may be the foreshadowing of Max’s death, because as I don’t think Billy is returning (as an alive human being) and reuniting with Max, I think instead Max will be seeing Billy during Spring Break because she is the one dying, reuniting with Billy in Heaven (... or wherever they end up LOL)

Max seems to be going through absolute HELL this season. I genuinely don’t know how she will be able to survive all of this, Vecna, depression, breakups, I seriously don’t know.

Also, can we focus on the fact that in El’s letter she stated that she is ‘ready’ for spring break? She could have used another term like ‘excited’ which I think would have fit it a lot more. But I think they’ve used ‘ready’ instead because it tells us that both girls are ready for what’s to come, El is ready to get her powers back as she willingly gives herself up to the lab, and Max is ready to have this all end and be over with. Both girls have been preparing. 

But I feel like at least we can conclude that Max AND El are going to be having a rough time this season. My heart goes out to both of them.

Thoughts?

[beesmygod]

teens and weird adults like me of tumblr, i am asking a favor of you: please arm yourself with the knowledge of how the Internet Archive National Emergency Library lending system operated prior to its dissolution so you are not bamboozled by the weird barrage of bizarre lies being spread about it. for a group of people who claim to love reading, none of the people criticizing it apparently bothered to actually look into how the archive functioned and are now willing to destroy one of the most important and valuable resources available to everyone, everywhere.

i’m going to try to make my case here, and i have no doubt there will be gnashing of teeth from people arguing the letter of the law over the spirit of it but i will address that as well. the “damage” done to publishers was near nonexistent but in exchange the publishers who have filed the lawsuit are willing to destroy the archive under the crushing weight of monetary punishment.

the Internet Archive is literally an online library and is recognized as a library by the state of california. it is not a pirate site.

you cannot download the books on the internet archive website. the only book available for download are those in the public domain. all other books can be checked out the same as you would check out any other e-book at any other brick and mortar library. you can borrow the book for 14 days. the books are protected with DRM and copyright protection to prevent theft.

the books online are purchased or donated, and then scanned. you can only borrow as many books as there are physical copies available at the library. so if there is one copy of war and peace  available as an e-book and i check it out, you will have to wait until i’m done with it to check it out yourself. this is slightly different than how regular libraries do it, but regular libraries are currently at war with publishers over e-books and how they fit into libraries.

the national emergency library was temporary. it was slated to last from march 24th to june 30th. it was made specifically in response to the pandemic.

the only change to the current process of book lending was the suspension of wait-lists. this means that for 3 months, multiple people could check out the same book for 14 days. they were able to accomplish this by using the collections from the phillips academy andover, marygrove college, and trent university. the statement from the Internet Archive includes this information:

During the waitlist suspension, users will be able to borrow books from the National Emergency Library without joining a waitlist, ensuring that students will have access to assigned readings and library materials that the Internet Archive has digitized for the remainder of the US academic calendar, and that people who cannot physically access their local libraries because of closure or self-quarantine can continue to read and thrive during this time of crisis, keeping themselves and others safe.  

... Public support for this emergency measure has come from over 100 individuals, libraries and universities across the world, including the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT).  “Ubiquitous access to open digital content has long been an important goal for MIT and MIT Libraries. Learning and research depend on it,” said Chris Bourg, Director of MIT Libraries. “In a global pandemic, robust digital lending options are key to a library’s ability to care for staff and the community, by allowing all of us to work remotely and maintain the recommended social distancing.”

... A final note on calling this a “National Emergency” Library.  We lend to the world, including these books. We chose that language deliberately because we are pegging the suspension of the waitlists to the duration of the US national emergency.  Users all over the world have equal access to the books now available, regardless of their location.

ok, there are 2 things i want to address now:

the argument that by supporting this writers don’t make money: the fault for this does not and will never lay at the feet of librarians. after reading all of the above, i would find it very difficult to sincerely believe that an author’s royalty money was severely impacted by three months of 14 days library checkouts. we really cannot allow ourselves to start declaring libraries as our financial enemies because they allow the poor to access things they otherwise would not be able to access. institutions that make information freely available to the public need to be preserved at all costs (source: was librarian).

this is a fault in the publisher. the publisher is the one who profits the most from a book sale and the publisher is the one who is filing the lawsuit. the publishing industry is a group of leeches that cling to you as you slowly attempt to make a living.

a library does not hurt profits. a library is a public service.

even if you want to adhere to the letter of the law, i find it extremely difficult to condemn the actions of the internet archive. there was no financial reason for what they did, no malice and no ulterior motive. their national emergency library was a response to brick and mortar libraries being closed in the wake of a pandemic and shutting off a stream of information to people who needed it (especially students!). in response to catastrophe they stepped up and offered a solution. to condemn them under false pretenses (as many did, by calling it a pirate site and weirdly claiming you could download books an unlimited amount of times [?]) has been calamitous.

this was a huge post lol. if you really read this thank you. i hope it made sense. my motive for writing this is not bc i think writers should be poor and should work for free so don’t get it twisted (i draw a dumbass webcomic so i Get It). i just really like libraries and am really upset at the smear job this one got.

please donate to the internet archive.

[sepdet]

So many people's homes, businesses, pets, lives have been taken… but in every aerial view, the blackened mass of the Banyan Tree draws my eyes. The Banyan Tree. It was the biggest in the world, a city block in size.

 Arts and crafts festivals are held under it.  It's 150 years old, so Hawai'ian kings and leaders, elders and generations of families gathered under its branches.

One of the early interviews was with a man who said he was the last off the dock — that he stayed until the fires "came through the banyan tree" before rushing to the ocean to save himself. This is what he meant.

It's all one tree. It's badly charred, but they think they might be able to save it. I hope so. I feel like it will be the heart of the Lahaina community more than ever if it does: scorched, scarred, diminished, but regrowing.

But right now it, and they, are stunned and hurting, and have lost so much.

And yes. Extreme weather is here. Hawaii has never had fire storms before. California didn't used to, but now they happen every year. I'm afraid many parts of the world are going to have to get used to this new weather phenomenon. and too many politicians still are being paid by fossil fuel interests. 

If you live somewhere with such a leader —=congressperson, minister, governor, or other representative — you can help by calling up their office or writing them, or writing a letter to the editor in your local newspaper, reminding them that fossil fuel companies' own scientists predicted this in the 70s and 80s, and that global warming had broad scientific and public consensus in the 90s until fossil fuel companies launched a well-documented, billion-dollar disinformation campaign. Tell leaders that if they've taken money from big oil or coal, the repeated their lies or protected fossil fuel subsidies at the expense of green energy, these deaths and hundreds of thousands more are on their hands. Tell them they are selling out you, their constituents, as well as their own children, for money.

If they're a Bible-thumper, call them Judas.

Lahaina, Hawaii. Before and... now.

Extreme weather is here. We did this.

[hookechoes]

It’s a little bit wild how people sometimes just… assume Mike was being a total asshole/moron/idiot or whatever during his first couple of days in California who didn’t give a shit about El and what she was going through. Like, okay. Think about it for a second. Think about the situation he believed he was walking into versus the one he actually found himself in.

It’s established that El has been lying to him, about almost everything, even little things like being good at math. He trusts her, so he believes her. He thinks he’s walking into a nice week with his girlfriend, who has new friends, a new family, and is happy and thriving and excited to see him. The situation he thinks he’s walking into with Will is clearly different and more strained and muddled for various reasons (that’s a different post altogether), but he’s taking comfort in the fact that he and El are strong and steady and good together.

But then that one rug he’s standing on, that he felt secure on, gets swept out from under him. He’s totally blindsided by Angela’s cruelty because he believed everything El told him. It never entered his mind that she would lie to him. He has to very quickly adjust everything he thought he knew, and suddenly the people he thought he knew best look like total strangers, almost indistinguishable from every other unfamiliar face in Lenora. And then El hauls off and schmacks Angela with a roller skate hard enough to concuss her, which, personally, I am all for (if there’s one rule I live by it’s Talk Shit Get Hit), but from Mike’s perspective, again, he literally just discovered that the bullying was happening at all. Just a few minutes ago he believed everything was fine with El, and now here’s some stranger in front of him with blood gushing from her face and and another stranger with a bloody roller skate in her hand. The only person he can trust at the moment is Will; even though they just fought, even though he’s been weird and cold all day, he’s the only one Mike feels he knows in that moment, the only one who told him the truth. So he sticks to Will’s side instead of trying to comfort or help El; maybe he does this because he realizes that maybe he doesn’t really know her anymore, and doesn’t know how to help. (Not to mention that the vibes she’s giving off are very strong Don’t Come Near Me vibes.) I just feel like expecting him to know what to do or how to help her in that moment is a little absurd.

Was he being a bitch when he said “She didn’t look fine”? Yeah, absolutely. There was no need to do that. But at that point, I feel like he had every right to be a little angry with El.

Obviously, when he takes the time to calm down and think about everything, he reminds himself that he does know her, and he loves her, and he wants to make things right. He wants to know what’s really been going on and he wants to help her, to comfort her. So he goes to her and tries, as gently as he can, to draw it out of her; he knows what being bullied is like and he’s trying to understand where she’s coming from, trying to make her see that she can talk to him. But she shuts him out. She cannot communicate effectively why she lied to him, she cannot answer his question. Instead she hits him with more insecurities he had no idea about—everyone thinks I’m a monster, so do you, and you don’t love me anymore because you never say it. At this point, she really is trying to be honest with him about what’s been tearing her apart; she is saying okay, you want to communicate, let’s get to the real issue: I don’t believe you love me.

This is the point at which I do start to get frustrated with Mike, because goddamn. Yes, El was wrong to lie to him, but she’s also doing her best to be honest now and she’s so upset, just tell her you love her and you can figure out the rest later. She’s literally begging you to. But ultimately, overall, their communication problems are NOT just because of Mike. BOTH of them are fucking it up and neither of them want to truly acknowledge their role in it. They’re both trying to do better but they just keep missing what the other is trying to do. It’s not toxic, it’s not abusive, imo. It’s just two damaged kids trying over and over to connect and failing.

[alreadycrazystuff]

Now that I'm not emotional I'll vent:

Stranger Things S4

Be careful there will be spoilers❗

I don't know how I'm going to organize this but I can already tell it's going to be messy:

First of all, I didn't like it. And I'll explain what I didn't like:

Vecna: yes, I was excited to learn more about The Creels but the plot of Vecna ​​being Henry/Peter/001, it was kind of bad lol. There were many unanswered questions and in the end we find out that El being "the reason" that it all happened was even worse. But you know what's even worse? that it was Vecna ​​who created Mindflayer and probably the Upside Down. Like, he's the villain but being responsible for everything? it's only now, after three seasons, that we've learned of his existence. He was never mentioned before. How does he, out of nowhere, take credit for everything? He was the "mold/original version" for the other kids in the lab, and for the creation of Eleven's powers. He's probably the only one who has "natural powers", did he only create the Mindflayer, which possessed Will and Billy, because of Eleven? Does he only wants revenge? Did he create the Upside Down because of her or for her? What does this have to do with D&D? Also, what does it have to do with killing teenagers? He's just another villain who wants to end the world because his life was pathetic.

Eleven: My girl, what they did to you? What was it about her losing her powers and then getting them back later? It would be easier if she hadn't even lost. And now she has new powers? Like??? The 8 year old Eleven was much more cool than the 14/15 year old Eleven. She didn't need a boy to make her feel stronger, she just needed to remember her mother's love and feel loved by her. Remember that she was born and that being alive is what is worth fighting for. Not a boy who can't write ily in a letter (and that she had to BEG him for him to say it). First getting the Byers to move was stupid, of course El couldn't adapt to school, she never had time to socialize with other people. They showed her vulnerable because of the bullying, for not having friends in California, for her father dead, for being away from her boyfriend and for not having powers and how hard that would be for her. How would she handle anger, bullying and hate against her without her powers? It would have been so much better if they had made her understand that the real world is like this, that you will always deal with people who don't like you and won't understand you, and what really matters it's the people who love you and what you think of yourself. I know it's a difficult concept (I know I speak from my own experience) but she is so much more than a hero, or weapon, or Brenner's experiment. She would understand that her actions have consequences, that hitting someone has consequences, that you can't blow people up when they hurt you (I'd love that). Instead they made her go back to the lab to get her powers back because she can't live in the real world because they wouldn't win without her powers. It was again used as a "weapon" and nothing more. It was like taking one step forward and two steps back. Why did they make her have this new experience if it was to come to nothing?

Mike: what the hell was Mike this season? They really said goodbye to "smart Mike" and now he's just selfish and dumb. Like okay he has no idea of ​​Will's feelings okay, Will hasn't declared so it's okay, but Mike is so dumb now omg. Did he really believe it was Eleven who asked Will to do that drawing? The D&D drawing??? because he is the "heart" of the group?? Awful. Has he learned nothing since the last season? Saying that Will sabotaged his day with his girlfriend, avoiding hugging Will, or not listening to what Will had to say, or BLAMING WILL BECAUSE ELEVEN HAD LIED TO HIM, ignoring Will's existence and using Will's words to confess to El, like??? Is he incapable of thinking for himself? Does he always need other people to say how he feels about himself because he can't? He needs to copy from someone to say he loves El because he can't do it by himself like??? Will was literally telling him what to say, and you want me to believe he really loves her? It's bullshit!! And that conversation in the van, like, Will had to remember or say that Eleven loves Mike? why? Mike already knows!!! Or he should know since SHE IS HIS GIRLFRIEND AND SHE SAID SHE LOVES HIM!!! I remember S3 why Will had to remind Mike of that? They made Mike so stupid this season it's unbelievable. He didn't believe that Eleven loves him for what he is but when Will said he did? And I'm not even going to talk about how he went from "Will, D&D is for kids" to later joining the D&D club, so the problem was Will right. And let's not forget that he "idolized" Eddie and let that affect and change his style, but he didn't say anything about Eddie's death? or did he not know???? Mike was the worst. What I've seen about him is that he's a bad friend, selfish, self sabotages, doesn't know what he wants or what he is and it seems like he's still the only one who lives in a child's world, or in a fantasy world, it's not Will, it's Mike who doesn't want to grow up, who lives in the comic book world, he's not ready for the real world with real problems, he can't even talk or express himself to other people. It scares me how he's going to become when he's an adult, we've seen that the others (Dustin, Will, Lucas and Max) are much more mature than he is. I don't know how they're going to fix this. I was quite disappointed with how he was portrayed this season, totally different from what Mike was in S1 and S2. He's so immature it's sad, like him comparing himself to Lois Lane, it was a pity. Mike in S1 & S2 knew what he wanted and was determined in everything he did, since season 3 he started to go blank like a white wall. He lost his essence and now his world lives around the version he created of Eleven in his head. He lives in his own fic. I'm sad.

Will: I love him and he didn't do anything wrong the Duffers did. Made him say cringe things like "you are the heart", talk about D&D out of nowhere or talk about Argyle being stoned. He is more than that. He's not just D&D/Mike/Eleven". The scene with Jonathan was cute but he didn't say anything? I know, I said I didn't expect him to come out but not say anything to his brother? He could have said that he was upset with everything that happened, or being mad with himself for not having the courage or that the world is not fair to people like him, or that he will never be happy because bad things happen to him all the time, he could have said anything, but he didn't and the scene ended so fast it looks like it was cut. I was expecting Will to go deeper this season instead they made him third wheel again, sacrifice himself for others again, give advice to Mike and El even though he has never dated anyone before but he is old enough to see that their dating is made up of lies and that without the intervention of other people, they will break up because their "love" is not enough to keep their relationship. They (Milkvan) need support from others to keep dating each other. They put Will in California to be between Mike and Eleven again, he was put in a van for nothing but finding Eleven, and to help Mike say "I love you" to Eleven. He only existed for the Eleven and Mike plot. Wow 👏👏 And don't tell me they didn't have time, that ST is only about fantasy and supernatural stuff and not about relationships, they had enough time to do both, the Duffers didn't because they were lazy. They put countless flashbacks of S3, made Max have an mv with "Running up that Hill" in the background, made Nancy horny for Steve because he was shirtless, for no reason, they did the whole plot of "The Hellfire cult" for no reason, created Russian story (boring) for no reason (Hopper taking it for dead in S3 was stupid, like how it was with Eleven "lost her powers"), they made Eleven asking Mike why he didn't write "I love you" in the letters, they did that Suzie's family scene for what? nothing, Argyle and Jonathan saying "blep, blep, blep" FOR NOTHING. They could have written anything for Will, he only appeared like what 10 minutes or 15 minutes on screen? He is the main character. It would have been better if he had stayed at Hawkins at least he would have had more screen time than he did in the cali gang. And in the end he felt Vecna? Only touching his neck again. Being given as "gay" but not being addressed. It's not a cursed word, they love to say fa*, fairy, freak but they can't say "gay" or "lesbian"? 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

There were so many bad things this season, repeated S3 scenes, the same mistakes again, new characters added only to die for no reason and be easily forgotten, Will's birthday being forgotten, they could have just switched on camera recording, Billy being told as a hero, Max's ending just to be sad and shocking. Eleven as the hero of the day again, and wow they love giving scren time to an idiot right (Jason and his followers/Billy). How much they contradict themselves during the season was insane, saying that El will have her own path, that Mike is strugguling, Will's sexuality would be addressed. Jonathan and Nancy still lying to each other, Jopper and Murray having their history separate from the others again, Steve still likes Nancy and needs to be in a love interest to be happy. Ugh it was a headache!

I'm tired.

I still think Byler will be endgame I just don't want it anymore lol how things turned out this season was just a waste of time, the fact that we waited three years for this is disappointing So much money, more time, more episodes to be trash. I'll just pretend that Stranger Things ended up on S2. And we thought Duffers were geniuses 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ I'm embarrassed guys. I love Will Byers, Jonathan, Steven, Eleven, Max, Dustin, Argyle, Lucas, Joyce, Eddie, Nancy, Karen, Hopper, Bob, Owen, Robin, Mr. Clark, Holly, Erica, Murray, Kali and baby Mike, the good Mike, the S1 & S2 Mike.

I will not deactivate or delete my blog, I will continue to speak bad of ST4 I have the right, I'll still share fanarts, and fanfics and wait (not so excited) for S5. Feel free to talk to me, I'll still be here, I'm not deluded, I'm just a fan of what was Stranger Things.