#i literally miss him so much all the time every day
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purinfelix · 2 days ago
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Gavi bf headcannons 👉👈
pablo gavi bf headcanons ˚⟡˖ ࣪
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a/n: aaaa haven't written for my baby in agesss thank u for this req anon !! (ik it's preeeetty old so i hope u don't mind sjdnfdksjnf)
★ was actually quite shy before the two of you started dating, and even at the beginning of your relationship - just because he seemed intimidated by the idea of you and didn't want to put a foot wrong when talking with you
★ but as soon as he got comfortable with you he's talking your ear off about everything
★ like i just know he has the craziest gossip from the lockerroom and has opinions on absolutely EVERYTHING
★ just so so so clingy like you're literally amazed at how he used to function before the two of you started dating bc now he can't go more than like a day without seeing you
★ it isn't like a possessive clinginess (in reality it's actually a lot simpler) - he just knows he feels happy around you, and he loves you, so why wouldn't he want to spend every waking minute with you?
★ like, if there is a situation in which you have to spend time apart he's not going to stop you, but just know he's not going to enjoy it at all and the minute you reunite he'll have to make up for lost time
★ that and maybe a thousand texts about how much he misses you or tiktoks because everything he sees reminds him of you
★ love language is 100% physical touch like is there even a question ...
★ and it's more than just hugs and kisses it's interlocked pinkies, goodnight kisses on the back of your nape - if the two of you are lying on the couch or bed doing your own thing he'll throw a leg over yours just to feel your touch
★ thinking about that time kuonde said he's really fun to tease bc he's so easy to rile up ... yeah
★ like of course it's all loving but you just love the look on your boyfriend's face when you tease him - his pout and pleading eyes ...
★ definitely not a morning person at all, you've spent way too many mornings struggling to wriggle out of his grip in fear of being late for work/class
"Baby, I need to go," you say sternly, though given the fact that you're boyfriend's eyes are still closed you don't feel confident you're going to get your way. "Mmf," is all you get in response, as well as him strengthening his grip on you and burying his face into the side of your stomach.
★ (just remembered that clip of him snoring LOL) - which you actually didn't notice for like a year into your relationship because he always made sure you fell asleep first, it just makes it easier for him to rest knowing you're comfortable
★ but one night when u woke up to get some water you were absolutely shocked by how loud he could be (you opted to sleep on the couch that night because you wouldn't have been able to rest otherwise - but he came and found u in less than an hour because the empty space next to him woke him up)
★ as much as he hates to admit it, he lovesss being babied like he'll try to hold out as long as he can and put on a big manly front but the minute you're cooing and calling him pet names he's melting immediately
★ doesn't fully understand things like makeup/hair/clothes but what he does know is when his girlfriend looks extra beautiful
"I like that thing you did with your hair today, it's really pretty," he hums as the two of you are getting ready to leave on a date. "Oh? My blowout?" "Yeah, sure, it looks good on you - same as when you get those little white lines on your nails done." "French tips?" "Yeah, you tell your nail lady that and I'll pay for it."
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ninzied · 15 hours ago
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a high school au
alex is a yapper. he yaps in math class. in bio. in ap us history with miss bankston (who only pretends not to love it he swears). he does not, however, yap during english third period. there's this boy with blue eyes who looked at him strangely when he said jane eyre was overrated.
alex hasn't spoken up since.
.
henry is shy. he knows that makes him come off a certain way to some people. it doesn't bother him. usually. he has his books, and bea, and pez.
"that alex is hysterical," pez says one day at lunch. what?
"oh, i know, what a riot. in maths the other day he—"
henry is confused. henry has literally never heard alex speak, except for that one time he made a devastating comment about jane eyre that had also given henry a lot to think about actually.
he hears alex laughing at the start of third period. henry feels speechless as he watches it happen.
he's spellbinding. he's beautiful.
he's clamming up the moment henry sits down.
oh, god. so it's him, then; it's henry. he's horrified to have had this sort of effect on someone, let alone someone as vibrant as alex. henry's shy, not cruel. and now he's feeling a bit wounded too.
he turns very purposely to look alex in the eye. brown eyes. very brown. framed by these obscenely long lashes as alex stares back, mouth open, not speaking. henry feels speechless all over again too, all from simply looking at alex.
oh.
*oh.*
now he thinks he's starting to get it.
"hi," henry blurts, before he can rush out of class and be sick in a bin in the hallway.
alex blinks. a shy smile forms. there are dimples. "hey," he says.
henry is blushing. he powers through. "so. err. what did you think about this week's reading?"
alex lights up. "ooh. so many things."
he pauses then, looking uncertain. "did you want to hear them?"
"please," says henry. "i'd like that very much."
.
alex is a yapper. he yaps through math, and bio, and every one of miss bankston's classes *obvi*ously. he yaps through english third period.
especially english third period.
the only time he doesn't yap is when he's too busy doing things like gazing at henry. sitting with henry on the bleachers, where the sun lights up his hair just right. nodding along to henry's passionate rants about poems.
watching henry eat something alex has brought them for lunch. eyeing the spot of sauce henry's missed.
"is there something on my face?" henry asks. "you keep staring."
"actually," says alex. he leans in.
they're both a little too busy to talk very much after that.
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aves-rook-laidir · 3 days ago
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I can feel myself becoming more and more familiar with DaTV now, like, the characters are becoming more familiar. I find myself thinking about them when I’m going about my day, filling in the gaps of who they are with my own headcanons. Like, did you know Emmrich is deaf in his left ear? He got slammed in his first week of combat training as an Apprentice. He was so annoyed about this that from that point on he worked really hard to practice combat, and to his, and everyone else surprise, was brilliant at it. It’s funny really, that this calm, gentle professor known for floating around picking flowers can knock you off your feet if you test him. Taash was the first to pick up on it, they didn’t bring it up just started fighting on his left.
Or Davrin, he keeps pushing off Bellaras attempts to talk to him about the gods, because he just can’t think about it. If he did it would be like a waterfall. He spent the most formative years of his life caring for Halla in the forest, Ghilan’nain is the Mother of Halla! His clan lived and breathed her worship, whether or not he keeps religion now, her presence is interweaved throughout his childhood, and it was all crap, she was nothing more than a psychopath mage, he can’t think about it.
Hallas make Bellara sneeze, but she denies it.
Lucanis was so overwhelmed that he missed his shot at Weisshaupt it took him nearly a day to utter a word to any of them, he left to be on his own as soon as possible and the moment he was alone he had a panic attack.
Harding often thinks back to Haven, and when the inquisition was just stating out. How she had thought back then that Varric and Solas were old friends, they way they walked together in the hinterlands, chatting about nothing in particular, felt so…comfortable. She misses those days terribly.
Neve didn’t lose her leg in some fantastic battle against the Venatori or a Dragon fight, she was just born without it. Sometimes people are just born different.
When Rook awoke from Solas telling her the truth about the Archdemons, she was so stunned and in shock that when she walked down the stairs to discuss with the others, she fell down them much to everyone’s alarm.
Having to fight a dragon in Treviso almost immediately after meeting cemented a close connection between Rook and Davrin, literally thrown into hell together.
Dorian was the only one able to get anywhere close to that dragon in Minrathos, managed to get a hit square in its eye, but it wasn’t enough. The Iron Bull was in the city the week before, but by the time the dragon attacked he was halfway to the Free Marches.
They all regularly play cards and games around the dining room table.
Taash keeps a small sketchbook on them where they likes to draw all the dragons they meets, they also pets every dog and cat they come across. They sneak hugs from Assan when they think no one is looking.
Emmrich gets Bellara to talk academic theory with him a lot as a form of distraction because he knows she lies awake at night having a never ending crisis of faith.
Bellara often worries and frets that Lucanis isn’t eating enough even though he’s feeding everyone. Lucanis worries the same thing about her.
Lucanis is dyslexic as fuck got really self conscious about how long it was taking him to read one of Neves novels, well, until he realised he literally wasn’t being judge at all actually.
Harding grows elf root to smoke it. Dream blunt rotation to be honest.
Communicating with the dead the way Emmrich does is harder than it looks, it takes a lot of stamina and if the connection is held for too long he’s prone to nosebleeds.
They spar and practice combat in the courtyard in front of the dining hall, usually one v one with the others sitting on the steps watching. Neve keeps encouraging them to take bets.
When Aves sleeps on the green couch, she often wakes up to find Assan curled up nearby. Either that or Emmrich hovering over her because she was screaming in her sleep again and he could hear her in the next room.
Taash and Bellara I’m still working on.
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zigrethsnotebook · 3 days ago
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[FAREWELL KISS]
Stan x Reader
words: 845
tags: sfw, fluff, Stan and Ford leave to go sailing
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Summer has come to an end. Stan has managed to get his brother back and the literal apocalypse has been averted. Even the kid’s thirteenth birthday party had been a complete success. After they had left it felt empty in the shack. And it was about to feel so much emptier as soon as Stan and Ford go on that sea adventure they are planning to go on.
You stood in the doorframe to Stan’s bedroom and watched him pack his last bags. You were happy for him, both of them. You really were! But it still gnawed at your heart that you would not get to see Stan, the man you had grown to love over the last few months, for almost an entire year.
“I expect you to bring me something, by the way. You know, some jewelry or… I don’t know, a really nice seashell or something.” A crooked smile was plastered on your face, hiding the heaviness of your heart at having to watch him leave.
Stan turned to you, a grin on his face. “I will bring you every treasure we find. Nothing but the best for the most amazing partner in the world.” His expression shifted to a more apologetic but appreciative one as he stepped closer to you. “I know this is hard. And I really hope this doesn’t put too much of a dent in our relationship…”
You took his hands in yours, locking eyes with him. “I know you and Ford have to go. You really do.” You looked to your feet, feeling tears welling up in your eyes. “I’m just going to miss you so much.”
Stan whispered a soft “I know, I know.” as he lifted one of his hands to your cheek, guiding your face closer to his. He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, then he lifted your face a little more and pressed another kiss to your nose. Finally, he made you look at him fully, making you look into those big puppy eyes of his. Stan pressed his forehead to yours, closing his eyes as you did the same.
“I’ll be thinking of you every day. I promise I’ll write to you, I’ll send the letters every time we go on land. Also the cell phone you got me? Ford said we mostly won’t have reception out on the open ocean but I will call you whenever we do.”
Some tears had slipped past your eyelids as he spoke. Stan felt the tears hit his fingers on the hand that was still holding onto your cheek. He didn’t want to leave you, but he wanted to sail away with Ford. And he couldn’t take you with him, that would be a kind of danger he did not want you to be in.
Stan shifted slightly, pulling your face even closer to his and captured your lips in a kiss. A promise that he’d be back. A promise that he wouldn’t forget you. A reminder how much he loved you.
He moved his lips against yours slow and steady, grounding you. You sighed into the kiss, raising a hand to his neck and pulling him even closer to you, unwilling to let go. But you had to eventually. And you did.
As you parted and looked into Stan’s eyes you saw his longing to stay here with you as he brushed the tears from your cheeks. You pulled away fully, gesturing towards his bags. “Go on,” you sniffled, “Ford’s waiting for you.”
Stan hesitated a little and then turned and grabbed his bags. You followed him outside where Ford was already waiting by Stan’s car. You walked over to Ford and hugged him, wishing him a safe journey and to see all the creatures he wanted to find. In the meantime, Stan had packed his bags into the car and walked over to you both.
You turned to him and hugged him as well. “Stay safe. You better come back in one piece.” Stan chuckled lightly and you pulled away slightly to look at him. “And don’t you dare fall for a siren or something out there, you hear me?” Stan gasped. “I would never!”
From the side, Ford chuckled. “It is unlikely. Sirens typically have no effect on Sailors who are truly in love.” You looked at Ford with a smile. “That’s what I like to hear.” The three of you laughed. “But Ford: You better take care of Stan out there. If anything happens to him I’ll blame you entirely.”
Ford chuckled sheepishly and Stan made you look at him again, easing your worries. “I’ll be fine, I promise.” He put his forehead to yours again. “I love you.” You took a deep breath. “I love you, too, Stan.” After a few more seconds you pushed him away lightly, taking a step back in the process.
“Okay, you two better leave now before I make you stay here.” The three of you shared another laugh as the twins seated themselves in the car.
“See you again next summer.”
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legendary-69420 · 3 days ago
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MOMENTS-2 (Extras ✨)
(Racing Hearts : VOLUME ?)
A/N : Before you read! Please dont attack me that I Blurred your Idol's Faces I do have a reason and that is to set up my original character If you are a die-hard fan of #Charlos or #lesteppen please ignore the images or skip. The blurred face guy is my OC! Mark Spencer This Is part of my story RACING HEARTS Moments-1 UNSPOKEN CONNECTIONS :
Masterlist : Racing Hearts : VOLUME 1
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(Timeperiod : Chapter - 13/14 of VOLUME 1)
Fan Comments:
"I'll sure miss Mark when he leaves."
"Why tf he has to leave… I mean I love Charles' and Carlos' duo, but Mark and Charles were something else." 😢
"I miss his days in Ferrari… can't believe it was only for half a season."
"Dude came for half a season and stole everyone's heart. It's not fair." 💔
"Damn, it would be tough for Charles to let him go. I can already see him missing Mark like crazy." 😞
"I know Charles will miss Mark even though he acts like he hates him. Their connection was so obvious."
"Their friendship was so real. I’ll cry when Mark leaves. Like, they're the definition of what real teammates should be."
"Mark was the breath of fresh air Ferrari didn't know they needed."
"Mark and Charles had such natural chemistry… I can't believe it's already over."
"Mark being in Ferrari for that short time was the best decision. Charles was so much happier around him."
"Whoe thought Mark and Charles would have this kind of bond? I’m still not over them."
*"Can we talk about how soft Charles looks when Mark’s around? Like, he’s *smitten." 🥺
Masterlist : Racing Hearts : VOLUME 2 (Before Chapter 19)
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(Timeperiod- Before Chapter 19 of VOLUME 2)
Fan Comments:
"Thank god Mark stayed in F1. I can't imagine the grid without him."
"Hiring Mark in Red Bull was the best decision ever. He’s a game changer." 💥
"I thought they were only friends because they were teammates… turns out I was so wrong." 😭
*"The chemistry between these two is *crazy. Even though they’re on different teams, their bond is so obvious."
"They’ve been through so much together, and you can tell that no matter what team they’re on, they’re always supporting each other."
"I’m just here for their friendship. It’s so wholesome." ❤️
"I swear, every time Mark wins, I get so happy for him… especially when I see Charles supporting him like this."
*"Mark and Charles are the duo. Even when they’re not teammates, they make it work. Legends."* 🏆
"They really proved that being on different teams doesn’t change the bond they share. I love that."
"The way Charles helped Mark with his helmet 😩 so soft, they’re the definition of true friendship."
"Their respect for each other is unreal. I love how they can celebrate each other’s victories despite the rivalry."
"Their fist bump just says it all. No matter what, they’ll always have each other’s backs." ✊
*"Why do they have so much chemistry? Like, they’re literally *rivals* but still act like they’ve been best friends forever."*
(Timeperiod-After Chapter 19)
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Fan Comments:
"I can't get over how different Charles looks this season. He’s so much more relaxed and genuinely happy. Mark’s really done wonders for him." ❤️
"That look Charles is giving Mark is everything. You can tell he’s just so happy Mark’s back in Ferrari." 😍
*"Mark being back in Ferrari is everything. You can see how much it means to Charles, and I’m here for it."
"Look at Charles looking at Mark like that. I think the 'just friends' thing is getting harder to believe." 🤭
"I’ve missed seeing Charles this carefree. I’m so glad Mark’s back to help him smile again."
"You can see it in Charles’ eyes. He’s so in love with Mark, and I can’t blame him." 💖
"These two are truly the dream team. Just look at them celebrating together. They deserve all the happiness." 🏆
"The way Charles is just staring at Mark… he’s completely smitten. You can’t hide that kind of love, even with a glance." 😌
"Mark coming back to Ferrari was the best decision. Charles looks like a completely different person—so much happier." 🌟
"I’ve never seen Charles so genuinely happy and relaxed. Mark’s good for him, like really good." 🥰
"Mark and Charles' dynamic is just so different this season. They look so comfortable with each other."
"The way Charles is listening to Mark is so soft. He’s definitely hanging onto every word, and I can’t get enough of it."
"They’re not even trying to hide it anymore. The way Charles looks at Mark is the most obvious thing ever." 💘
"I can’t even imagine how happy these two are now. Mark’s back, and Charles has his smile back."
*"Their chemistry is unreal. I love that they’re not just teammates; they’re *best friends."
"Charles doesn’t even try to hide it. Every glance, every smile—he’s all about Mark."
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Fan Comments:
*"Those lingering touches are *everything. You can just feel the chemistry between them through a simple hand on the thigh." 😍
*"Mark's hand on Charles’ thigh… I’m not okay. They’ve got a whole unspoken language between them."*
*"Look at how Charles is staring at Mark's hand on his thigh… like he’s *memorizing* the feeling. Ugh, I’m obsessed."* 💖
"The way Mark rests his hand on Charles’ bum… just… wow. They don’t even try to hide it anymore." 😏
"That hug. You can tell these two are more than just friends. They’re home to each other." 🌙
*"The more I see these little moments, the more I’m convinced these two are *meant* to be."*
"I honestly can’t get over how much they touch each other. It’s like they can’t stop."
*"Can you *feel* the love through these pictures? I swear, these two are so in tune with each other."* 😍
"Look at Charles' face when Mark’s hand is on his thigh. He’s looking at it like it’s the most precious thing in the world."
*"It’s the way Mark holds Charles close, his arms around him like he never wants to let go. *That’s* the kind of love I want to see."*
"Their hands are constantly in contact. It’s like they don’t need to say anything, they just get each other."
*"Those photos are *too* soft. You can see they’re both falling for each other, one touch at a time."* 💓
"When did Mark become this touchy-feely? I’m not complaining, but wow, he really can't keep his hands off Charles, huh?"
"I honestly can't take how intimate these moments are. It's just the little things that show how deep their connection really is."
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(These took forever to edit 😭😭😭😭)
Comment and share your thoughts and remarks!!!
Moments-3
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fujii-draws · 8 months ago
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OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.
#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter.#he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point.#and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!!#hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do!#the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into-#one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT.#but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb.#I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time.#and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances.#and doesn’t want to hear any excuse.#but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment.#NOW. CHAPTER 17.#UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN#Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC.#IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!!#BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’#WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM.#(​NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.)#and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through.#despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up.#like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him.#that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying.#just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner.#IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD.#and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore.#he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had.#and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT.#<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but.#eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind.#I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags
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whirlybirbs · 3 months ago
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it’s 5:20am i cannot sleep i am consumed with thoughts and yearning for keigo takami i need to be euthanized
#literally these days all i do is Lay Awake and Wither Away#the nightmares have been exponentially worse lately#fun fact ur local fanfic author has Problems.#idk man there’s just something haunting about having reoccurring nightmares about your ex and every time u close ur eyes it’s throwing u#right back into the pit of hell that was that relationship#it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine i just no Longer Trust People#anyways this is a vent post and it is so cringe and lame#i just have never Hated an ex before so there’s a lot i’m coming to terms with especially considering how Fake he is#idek man IDEK!!!!!1!!1!1!#i rlly sacrificed so much to love and live with him and he said ‘mmmmmm now i have u in my grip’#whatever it’s fine he’s stinky and honestly the fact honey (the blog intern and my cat) doesn’t miss him AT ALL says so much#seriously she is so nonplussed by his absence it’s wild#eating fine sleeping fine shitting fine#SAYS A LOT. SAAAAYS A LOT. whatever whatever whatever#i would hit that emotionally immature man with my car if given the chance and yknow what. nick if ur reading this you’re one of the#most.#emotionally immature people ive ever had the misfortune of knowing.#what a shame you lost me#the best thing and healthiest thing that ever happened to you#because of your own actions and your own inability to take accountability for your mental health and actions#tell your mom i say hi#and tell your exes im sorry i ever doubted any of them x_x#WEEEEE what a vent#listen to big sister birbs when she says don’t date men who have something horrific to say about each of their exes
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disposal-blueeee · 5 months ago
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from this thing lolz
ty to @cherry-207 for the idea !! XPP
vargas by zarla-s
#sunny's art#vargas#edgar vargas#vargas zarla#scriabin#zarla s#scriabin vargas#would add shitpost tag too but i made so much effort on these to call it shitpost#this took me like 4 days . it could've taken two but i had to go out most of these days#this is just another “ i forced myself to color this thing just to practice coloring ” piece#went crazy with this one X3#changed pretty much all of my brushes#bye square-shaped brush . i'm gonna miss you#i feel like edgar would actually find this cute tbh#it's perfect for them and they both know it#i know that the actual meme doesn't really look like my artstyle#but this is the first time i draw a face from that angle okay#that's all bye#nevermind i want to rant about something .#okay it's like . everytime i draw edgar i struggle a lot thinking of the clothes i want to draw on him#so i literally took a screenshot of every thing zarla has drawn on him so i can yk . pick something out of there#well on this one drawing she made he had this pretty beige cardigan and i was like okay sure let's get that one#then . was just coloring and when i tried to shade the beige it just looked dirty and ugly#why when other people do it it looks good and when i try to do it it just looks ugly ??!!1!1?!#funny enough this is the third time this happens to me#it also used to happen with gray . i just changed the color of the shading to dark blue and boom fixed#so i had to change it to green . looks better like that anyways#so i'm thinking . does beige look bad on edgar or it's just that i don't know how to shade beige in the first place#( probably second one#i think this is actually all
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brucequeensteen · 11 months ago
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character wrapped 2023 💥
tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me
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will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)
i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^
#and now i will explain them all in detail#cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there#*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly#em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come#she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much#i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on#aziraphale.........no comment#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week#and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them#hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said#martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me#sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well#these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her#her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though#then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3#kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me#stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year#i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time#and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen#but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality#enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness#tag game#🍪
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6mayhem · 14 days ago
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anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years
#especially now that im back into literally the only interest we actually share on a deep enough level to enjoy it together LOL#i mean we were also both into hannibal but thats just not an enjoyable show to watch together its too much effort#but wow that time we read das boot slash fanfic on the bus together that was awesome#and the time we wrote fanfic together lol LITERALLY WHY DID WE STOP#he has only gotten cooler and more comfortable with his gayness since then we need to write fanfic again ‼️#anyway i feel sorry for every person in my life but i dont think anyone ill ever know could ever have as close a relationship to me as him#were platonic soulmates lol but like not in the spiritual sense bc its pretty obvious that its not some supernatural bond#its juuuust shared trauma haha and the fact that our trauma is so complex and layered that only we will ever truly understand each other#there has been a really rough patch where we practically did not talk for 4... 5? whole years im serious. maybe on the weekends sometimes#while we were stewing in our own shit. but now were inseperable i think it actually pisses off the rest of our family because every time#theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car#and drive somewhere and hang out there for the rest of the day and night and only return at like 3am drunk#in a sense i guess were catching up on all the missed time#to be honest we both had some horrible shit going on in our heads me with the transgenderism and toxic relationship#him with his anger issues and (what he calls) psychopathy. like ill say this much he was not a good person as a child he was a devil#he was quite literally what some describe as born evil like u know those satans spawns kids that cut off babys fingers and dissect rabbits#all that yk. and i was his first and most frequent victim due to availability lol and my parents did not know any of it and if they did#they ignored it. so yeah u can imagine the relationship was a little strained and for a long time i lived in fear of him#also due to all the death threats and attempts on my life HAHA its kinda funny because i can say all this all detached now#but i think to anyone else this sounds mad as hell. like im not talking roughhousing or being mad at each other#he was always scarily calm and hyperintelligent he was actually diagnosed with some form of like super high intelligence that#makes kids capable of being really manipulative and thats what he used at every turn. everything was always calculated that was scary#if he was nice to me i would question if he was trying to lure me somewhere to hurt me yk?#anyway. sometimes those old thoughts come back when were hanging out alone but mostly i know hes changed and worked on himself#sorry oversharing oh wow
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secret--history · 1 month ago
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the whole 'there are not very many Great Causes worth fighting for these days' from Julian scanned as WAY more out of touch than the moon landing thing for me the first time i read tsh
#like to the point of it being actively jarring when i got to him saying that#the secret history#'they landed on the moon??' well okay i guess it's not really their area#and they've been really out of touch with the news since it's also not really their area + they've been#off to the woods/a country house/etc and getting very drunk and killing deer and also people#i don't remember the exact dates re the moonlanding + the events of the book but like.#Sure. that's probably fair or at least kind of understandable#that could Feasably Happen On Accident at least#but julians like 'there isn't much worth fighting for these days' and um.#if you pay attention to literally anything happening in the world at any given moment at all. ever.#....what? literally what do you mean by this?#there have always been So So many Great Causes that people are dying for all the time constantly forever#and even if you've somehow managed to comoletely block out literally every piece of news/political development/etc#that's not really a reason to assume there Aren't. that's a reason to go like. well if there are any Great Causes left today then#I don't know about them. and even if we assume he's defining what makes a cause worth fighting for by classical values#and saying that that means for example that he wouldn't necessarily think of say the civil rights movement or liberatory movements etc#as fitting (which i think is also probably debatable- it comes to mind that the athenians valued (their own) freedom. political engagement#was valued but only the right kind from the right people. etc. what i'm saying is that#no i don't think they actually fit what julian would be thinking of as the classical mind's* idea of a great cause worth dying for#but also you could debate that/frame things differently/etc (*presumably there is a more particular subset of the population he has in mind#than just 'classical' or 'greek' in actuality. like. specifically those from whom we having writing/would have citizenship/etc.))#i'm certain there are plenty of arguments to be made. like plenty of people are fighting for various countries#it's not like wars or empires have stopped existing or other myriad conflicts have stopped existing#also in typing this i've realised he was maybe forshadowing henry's death#and now i need to go look up the exact quote and make another post i guess.#(also disclaimer that i'm aware i've phrased a lot of this clumsily. it is midnight these are the tags of a tumblr post and i am not sober.)#anyway to rephrase my initial point i just think with the moon landing thing that's One major event you missed.#if you're saying that there are No Great Causes Worth Fighting/Dying For (with the understanding that you think those are a thing#that can exist) then i think maybe you managed to skip out on hearing about significantly more#than just the one major event. that's much harder to manage i would think
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carefulfears · 1 year ago
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sometimes i think about the end of founder’s mutation and the baby photo of jackson that mulder had at his kitchen table and think about how scully must have given him that picture, at some point, after, and get really sad
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kavehater · 7 months ago
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I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness
#There’s this specific part of the song#It srsly alters my brain chemistry#Anyways#i hate tumblr sm#Idk like I Gen hate being on here sm#No matter what account I make no matter if I tell ppl about it whether I don’t tell ppl I just hate this place soooo much#Like if I have a following it sucks because it’s rlly lonely if I don’t it’s still lonely and then if there’s nobody at all it’s lonely#Loneliness is what got me to discord boy so like :D#The fact I am genuinely missing him sm I’m gonna krill myself 😻🙏#Also I think I hate talking to minors cause these kids be letting themselves get groomed all the time I’m so tired of seeing it#The creep in my course is being so weird to Raisa who is a minor … I can’t help but think it’s all my fault … I invited her to the pharm gc#To show her how messy it was ….#I didn’t expect her to follow and accept requests of everyone …#Anyways I just am so annoyed. Like I wish I could have one person just one where I can be confident in being their no.1 but every time I th#Think I’m maybe somewhere high up on someone’s list of important ppl I realise I overestimated my position even tho I’m rlly self conscious#And being myself down over that. Also I still hate Eid. I hate Eid sm. How do ppl genuinely enjoy Eid. Idk if I’ve ever been excited for Ei#It’s like I’m just suddenly getting more sick of ppl by the day. I Gen don’t like talking to ppl at all even tho I used to rely on talking#To others like its sustenance now it’s just such a hassle to me because I’m so sick of being unimportant to literally every single person I#Have ever known. Literally everyone except maybe dahlia idk. the only person who has never gotten mad/snapped at me o is dahlia#And knowing my luck that will soon be taken from me too. Anyways good riddance to tumblr i loathe this site and im sick of the mind games#All the time from just existing on here. Gen makes me feel ill. I’m so sick of that girl I like and sick of everyone. The only time ppl car#Is when I cause a scene. And ykw atp I loathe being showed sympathy and pity for these sorts of posts because it just feels like a big joke#Cause why couldn’t you just care when I was fine. Why do you ONLY care when I’ve had enough of your bad behaviour. How does one make someon#Like me go mad with all these things#Istg if I come back to this dumb site whether to this acc to the tora one or my other account everyone has permission to beat me up.#dora daily#Tldr;I HATE ppl and everyone ever + I’m just sick of pretending like everyone doesn’t suck cause how can ppl be so insufferable intolerable#Insane horrible in every way and ppl like them. How do they live with themselves when they’re this aggravating. Every day I hate ppl more#Because their mannerisms their everything is just so embarrassing.#Essay tags 😻😻😻
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lonesomedotmp3 · 2 years ago
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it does genuinely piss me off how much of the greatest things about my old school was built off the blood sweat and tears of this one incredible passionate lovely teacher and they never ever ever gave him anything in return until he left for a better school during my a levels 😐 and then I had to have the shittiest teacher alive for othello instead of him who would have slayed it and I'm NOT bitter about it out all
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realcowboysdrinkjuice · 2 months ago
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i’ve been moving in for the last two days i’m excited to lay down and have podcast episode >:] completely forgot about it until i saw someone liveblogging it and quickly scrolled past lmao
#it’s gonna be so much later in the day for me now since i jumped ahead 6 whole hours 😔#for streams though the only one i regularly watched live was charlie slimecicle so that won’t be too much of a change#AS LONG AS HE DOESNT HAVE AUDIO ISSUES DAMMIT#it’s only happened a few times but every single time it’s happened it was when i missed stream#it’s like it was targeted#fnaf stream ages ago that had the crazy segment w ranboo that barely got saved by a mod i missed that stream#the driving game pacific drive or whatever it was called i was eating w family but i think that one got saved#missed the one ages ago where he leaked mariana’s number lmao but that wasn’t audio issues#and then the klowns i don’t remember the name i only remember that it’s klowns w a k#but luckily that had like four other povs so that wasn’t the end of the world#but literally every time i miss a damn stream i stg#every other time it’s fine#like dude why#is it because i wait for you to go offline to renew my sub so you don’t acknowledge me#smh#cellbit taught him how to add music and not have it be in the vod but at what cost#bro keeps accidentally putting his mic on that one lmao#to be fair that’s only a few times but it feels like so many times just because it’s like it personally targeted me#confirmation bias your honor#my post#im yapping so much#most of the people i talk to are asleep all morning for me now#they’re hopefully awake now tho unless their sleep schedules are FUCKED#but i’ve been the only one in the discord it’s just a wall of just me and i don’t want to keep making it longer im already the most active#and there’s only like 3 other people
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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I was on call for nearly 7 hours between streaming my samurai game, watching anime, and then just chatting some. Which was really great for getting my mind off things!!! Hung out with a good assortment of friends, which was pretty great.
Though. Now I'm alone again. Which I usually enjoy. But it also has me remembering why I was on such a long call to start with...
I have therapy tomorrow, and I don't know whether I should mention this. She's primarily my grief therapist, so it'd maybe feel weird to spring something else on her... but I don't know...
#speculation nation#just kinda remembering again how fickle it all was.#all the compliments... the 'i love you's... nearly 6 months of them...#dropped so suddenly for a days-long infatuation...#ultimately i guess it's for the best that this happened before i got Too deep into it.#unlike my ex from 2020. where i was literally living with him and genuinely contemplating eventual marriage.#the idea was floated vaguely of my recent ex and i living together next year if we were still together by then.#so if she's gonna be so shallow and selfish as to drop me just like that for a new 'love'...#going so far as to say she doesnt actually love me & every time she said it was just automatic impulse...#like. ouch.#adding in the fact that i admitted to her that i struggle with trust and abandonment issues#due to prior experiences with being dropped for being too difficult or having someone choose some1 else over me...#she promised that i was the only one she wanted to actually date... but then turned around out of nowhere and said she wanted to add one#but when i stood my ground and voiced my concern about her daying someone else given the obvious communication issues going on#(aka her standing me up without warning and ignoring me all day. which she said was bc she was too distracted by the person#she's in 'love' with. to the point where i just wasnt even a thought in her mind...)#(though i literally called her when she didnt show up to the time we agreed on. idk how she'd miss it. but oh well.)#anyways i was rightfully worried about it. and Thats when she ignored me again only to say she couldnt see us working out#bc there was no way of her feeling the same way with me that she does with Her...#frankly i think shes blinded by infatuation and is going to regret this later down the line.#throwing a good thing away for a passing fancy who's planning on moving away soon Anyways.#but. well. it's not my problem anymore is it? even if she begged for me back theres no way i would#after the absolute shitshow that's been the past day.#and it sucks bc i really did like her and spending time with her. but im glad it happened now. before i got too deep in it.#i'll give myself time to recover. focus on my interests again. and school.#and in a few months' time maybe i'll join the dating pool again. this time with a better idea of my wants and boundaries.#it really sucks to have 10 exes. it's kind of embarrassing. but with each one im learning more about myself.#in time maybe i'll find the person that's right for me. who wont drop me bc im too much of a hassle or bc someone else is better.#i have worth as a person. im not perfect but plenty of people do like me.#and i'll find the person who wants to stay with me for good. sometime. eventually.
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