#i literally didn't do anything this time
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guys screaming and crying a new wip has entered the abi verse
#wip#i literally didn't do anything this time#i was just scrolling#and then BAM#a sudden malicious thought#what if i wrote this#but i have to finish the blood&cheese one first#which is almost done to my surprise#i also might need a beta reader for that one#i don't think i can do that alone#but oh well
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lil doodle to end the week
#dunno why I come up with little scenarios that focus on such minute details. lol anyway I GOTTA improve my line shading#my crosshatching has taken a dip. gotta pick it back up again#kuroshitsuji#black butler#kuroshitsuji fanart#fanart#sebastian michaelis#ciel phantomhive#digital art#elizabeth midford#lizzy midford#sketch#also wow I can't believe i missed reaper day. I was literally doing something and then got side tracked but i didnt stop myself cause i#thought 'eh I have time'#oh well it'll be done someday. plus i didn't see yana do anything so far so I guess i didnt miss such a big holidays after all...#welp it's expected. be happy for the reapers anyway!!!
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Reading again the last book of svsss (not counting the extras) because it finally released in my country and bingqiu hold hands a lot. Like, a lot lot.
And 75% of the time sqq is the one who initiates the hand holding. While still thinking that he's heterosexual. I can't stand this clown.
#how did i not notice how in love sqq is the first time i reas the book?#that man was only waiting for an excuse go defend lbh#and the moment he knows lbh didn't do anything before his qi deviation is over for sqq#now is ride or die for lbh#literally#svsss#scum villain self saving system#bingqiu#shen qingqiu
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Details in Stan's letter that still haunt me
(how long will I continue thinking about a two page letter that's technically not even that long because Stan's handwriting is fricking large? .....you don't need to worry about that.)
The bro code only shows up in the Lost Journal pages, and to me Stan's message feels like it purposely echoes Ford's "miss you" in the college photo (and for some reason the message doesn't appear in the website version of the photo?) ....or alternatively Stan simply noticed how distressed Ford was about this entire thing and wanted to support him in a way so he can be sappy but without the kids knowing, or both!
Stan's claim about the Oregon lottery contradicts what the Lost Legends website said about Tate McGucket's ability to predict the winning numbers!! ...but also breaking into the Lottery HQ is definitely a very Stan thing to do and it's not the first time small gags have been retconned
Despite spending most of his letter nonchalantly destroying him, the taunt about ripping a dollar bill in half is the only part where Stan is directly responding to Bill. Maybe it's the two of them having similar ways of thinking but it's rather specific considering Bill taunts the reader about it...
And after Bill spends an entire book calling Ford Sixer despite normally using a pretty wide range of nicknames for him, Stan then spends his letter mainly referring to Ford as Sixer, even though post-Weirdmageddon he tends to use a mix of nicknames. And it's not like he'd gotten to see Bill himself for long, let alone see him steal that childhood nickname (that is only used twice in the actual show btw!). Did Ford tell him what happened or...?
With all this and the website's "still on your mind" message, what I'm getting at is my tinfoil hat theory of Stan somehow seeing some of the pages the irl readers saw, even when it should be personalised to the specific reader, and he's been lying about it for some reason. Considering that the book flat out doesn't make an attempt at convincing Soos, I find it a stretch that whatever Bill was telling Stan via the book was an attempt to convince him either.
Wouldn't be the first time Stan's skimmed through a book and lied about what it meant to him.
(...Now I kinda wanna see a story about the family reading their versions of the book and making fun of it while Stan is improvising every single one of his pages and blatantly ignoring Bill's attempts to mock and taunt him)
But also I'm fascinated by the letters that only showed up on the website (aka the Soos+Wendy+McGucket+Pacifica ones). I'm assuming that Mabel had stuck them on after Stan's letter... but they were basically eaten by the book itself because seeing Stan's letter kick-started Bill's breakdown which takes up the rest of the book
#im wearing this tinfoil hat with pride i know something is up!!!!#like three things in one letter??? ...i mean the handwriting is another thing but for another reason that i already mentioned elsewhere#(of course i also love the idea of same coin theory being flat out the reason why stan's perceiving the book differently)#gf meta#stanley pines#stan pines#ford pines#book of bill#bill cipher#also i'm still kinda annoyed that pacifica got a letter over candy and grenda cos like.... she didn't really do anything in w3 lmao#meanwhile grenda literally ripped bill's eye out and the girls were the main ones holding him off!!! give them respect hirsch!!!!#they helped with the unicorn spell!!!! they're an extended part of the group!!!! they saved stan before!! give my girls respect!!!!!!#also some folks are assuming that the 'miss you' message was directed at mcgucket but if it was for him#i feel like it'd be scribbled on the page itself and not be part of college ford notes in the bg (and ford would use a different cipher)#mind you the photo itself is a day after he met mcgucket so there's no reason why ford would direct it at him#they literally just became besties!!!#and this is a ford recently estranged from his brother and is still trying to convince himself he only feels anger towards him#(i saw some saying that ford shared the bro code with mcgucket too and im ??? theres an entire page about him hiding his childhood stuff#i get there's the 'oh disney!!!' easter egg now but ford at that time was pretty touchy about anything regarding stan#(alex saying that if mcgucket had found his stan o war photo ford wouldve lied and#brushed it off as an inspiration to his career in science instead admitting that he's holding onto it cos he misses his twin)#plus he'd show another recent code that wasn't made by literally kids if he really wanted to share one imo#but also j3 is him using them to hide info from mcgucket!!!)#two sides of the same dollar bill#thisisnotawebsitedotcom
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brush test slash rendering practice with ayem
#morrowind#almalexia#the elder scrolls#tes#tes fanart#art#id in alt#ok that's all the tags this needs ANYWAY#i started this 1. for experimenting with coloring from dark to light#2. because i wanted to draw someone kind of back turned to the camera#3. rendering practice for hair particularly#4. to go from sketch to rendering rather than doing lines to see if that doesn't smooth out my workflow a bit#5. because i've never actually used this brush past flat coloring#and out of those 1. i don't think i had enough of an idea of the palette or process to jump into dark to light painting so i did scrap that#and go with my usual “flat color with one of the mid shadow tones add shadows add light”#i do think that painting from shadows out is a thing people do digitally i just think this wasn't the drawing to test it on for me#i think i'd need to look at some other peoples processes and start with a more fleshed out idea of where to go#2 and 3 i think worked out. i'm gradually figuring hair out which i think is sick#4 i also think worked out for me which is also sick because i do get caught on lines a lot. they're fun sometimes but i think some drawings#benefit better from not having them and that it might be a bit faster#and of course everything i do is so that i can draw slightly faster and better for next artfight#as for 5. i have mixed feelings on this brush but that might be because i hate change. and also because i started this drawing on the 15th#of november and finished it yesterday. so im kind of just sick of working on and looking at it#it was a valuable learning experience and i think it came out well! i am also going to drop to my knees and rejoice when i can finally#close this file out and free medibang paint from under it so i can work on Literally Anything Else#thank you almalexia for being my test subject i should've used a reference for your armor when i did the sketch but i didn't#maybe the crown looks weird because of it maybe it doesn't. not my problem anymore i can draw other elves again#my art#iiii think i forgot a my art tag last time
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crowley saying "if any harm comes to aziraphale because of this i will–" to gabriel is SO fucking special to me bc he was so clearly afraid of gabriel after the trial like just look at his reaction when he first sees him and him saying he spent a WHOLE NIGHT worrying that gabriel's gonna smite him like he's actually terrified and still after ALL THAT he still threatens gabriel and i just think threatening someone like THAT is actually so vulnerable bc he's making it abundantly clear that he cares for aziraphale and wants him safe and that aziraphale is HIS to protect and he WILL protect him no matter fucking what and i just i can't deal with how outright and upfront crowley was this season not only with aziraphale but with other people ABOUT aziraphale too like he was really not fucking around this season and he needed everyone to know aziraphale is his and made gabriel almost JUMP OUT OF A WINDOW for wanting to hurt aziraphale and the vulnerability of it all is making me go NUTS
#that sceen plays on a loop in my mind i can't get over it#and the fucking 'its always too late' that follows after makes me wanna bash my skull into pieces like oh my GOD he is so fucking scared an#tired and its ALWAYS TOO FUCKING LATE and aziraphale is always getting into trouble bc he's literally the best fucking thing ever and#crowley was too late to save him one time and he's literally terrified out of his mind that it's gonna happen again like you can't tell me#the bookshop fire didn't leave a HUGE scar and impact on crowley and made him literally scared shitless to let aziraphale out of his sight#again let alone leave him alone w his abusive ex boss like my bbg was going thru it SO MUCH this season and just wanted aziraphale safe and#he would actually do anything ANYTHING for him and i genuinely need to lie down for a minute hold on#good omens#good omens s2#azicrow#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#ineffable spouses#good omens season 2#ineffable husbands#go s2
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i think i really need to learn how to cold quit things... one habit i have that really bothers me is checking my phone first thing in the morning bc it's "just for 5 minutes" "just to see if anyone sent me anything important" no bitch literally nothing on your phone requires you to check your phone first thing when you open your eyes!!! stop it
#i want to keep it cute and say i drink water or some shit but i check my phone THEN drink water guys it's true#i like to think i'm pretty productive / do well w my time bc i get to studying/errands pretty quickly#but sometimes i think about how those minutes spent on my phone could be spent reading the book i said i didn't have time to read#or doing a quick stretching exercise#or just getting myself together before a long day of studying idk. anything really#i need stricter regulations for myself ik it#i am doing good rn but what is good if u could literally be the best just by being off ur phone more
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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
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any other spoonies or people with fibro/chronic fatigue/myalgic encephalomyletis/adhd/etc start just *trying* to think of the steps to a complex mental task have an immediate brain shutdown and get sleepy/fatigued/feel drugg/ed and physically exhausted immediately after doing so bc i feel like im going crazy and googling/duckduckgo-ing yeilded only like, mayo clinic articles defining chronic fatigue so. lol
#pls fuckin help me#chronic fatigue#me/cfs#MECFS#spoonie#autoimmune disorder#text#tbd ........#myalgic encephalomyelitis#this is the whole reason why most of the time i literally CAN'T draw when im not physically tired its bizarre#and has gotten worse so gradually over time that i didn't notice it really didn't used to happen until recently#it happens with almost anything intricate but especially with anything creative#like taking trazodone or a heavy dose of xanax but nothing actually happened#it gradually fades over the next hour unless i keep trying to do something that takes a lot of brainpower#which is unfortunately most things
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hey! as the first season of connor bedard gets underway i, your local indigenous hockey fan, have a request of you: please don't let this kid's sure to be marvellous and jaw-dropping rookie season make you complacent with the racism of the blackhawks as an organization. it is beyond heinous that they were able to secure the first overall pick this year for a number of reasons i'm sure we're all familiar with, but i am pleading with the hockey community not to let the racism of this org fall through the cracks.
they drafted connor bedard and handed him a jersey with a giant racist caricature on the front. their mascot is named tommy hawk. they continuously fail to curtail their fans' egregious displays of anti-indigenous racism at games.
i'm not going to ask anyone not to post about bedard. i know he's huge news and i'm bummed as all hell that i won't be able to enjoy the beginning of what is sure to be an incredible career myself. but i am asking, given that his presence on the team is likely to increase the prevalence of people making and reblogging posts about the blackhawks, that you please care, loudly and actively, about the racism of this organization and how much it hurts indigenous fans to see that go unquestioned so often.
consider mentioning it in posts. consider amplifying the voices of indigenous fans and community members about the issues of these types of sports organizations. consider reading up on the history of the person they claim to 'honour' with their hideous effigy of a logo. consider censoring the logo in your posts if you are able to (please do this if you are able to). consider tagging posts so that indigenous fans are at the very least able to blacklist that team and not have to see it.
above all, please just. don't forget about it. don't forget about us. we belong here too.
#gav gab#connor bedard#chicago blackhawks#i jsut. it makes me feel sick every time i see that thing.#this racist caricature of a native man's head on their jerseys on their ice in their locker room#a native man who had his body mutilated in death including having his head removed#it's fucking grotesque and it makes me literally sick#i was really looking forward to see what that little wizard boy could do!#and now it is wholly ruined for me#and i keep seeing people just. posting about it like this team is normal. like it's any other team#no ethical consumption under sports is true but some things ARE worse than others#and there is no justification or excuse for being a blackhawks fan in the year 2023. there just isn't.#and like..... it bums me the fuck out for bedard himself too#like he didn't choose this#he just got like. put into this situation#it sucks#he's a teenager and now he's in the middle of this whole mess he didn't create and isn't responsible for#and i can't expect him to do anything about it#but boy was i excited to see him play#and now it just..... yeah#well.
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"Since you've named yourself after Julius fucking Caesar, perhaps I'll follow in your lead and choose one of the conspirators." "Interesting," says Giuliano. "Should I worry about finding you at the center of some kind of conspiracy that ends with my death?" "Not from me," replies Ascanio. He sounds tired. "Not anymore."
informally, some kind of. conversational follow up to the last comic. I'm trying to get the atmospheric conversational whimsy out of my system because I have a vision of the vatican as a body in active decay, a point of infection spreading out and poisoning the well, a jaw unhinged that people walk into over and over, and I am so close to figure out how to convey this visually. maybe.
#not that there's anything wrong with atmospheric whimsy but i kind of want to get into the gross body horror of it all#literally. allegorically. for the vibes. its just hard to pin down the abstract thought of 'oh we should High Rise the Vatican' you know#(High Rise by JG Ballard is what i'm referring to here) like how do I achieve this. well. first. is i must lay out the vatican and become#intimate with the visual set pieces. then i can talk about how this building could literally be hazardous to your health#however. drawing the vatican. is very. uhhhh. man I do not know enough about medieval-renaissance architecture to be inventing#anything and that one book that collected interiors of rooms and houses in renaissance art is NEVER ANYWHERE EVER#and if it is then it's always around when i cannot afford it. i feel like i am in a specific kind of torment torture box#i will not be defeated tho. i can design a vatican through other means.#ANYWAY. i think antidepressants would've made ascanio an unstoppable menace in the vatican#there's a bunch of stuff being referenced here but my pdf reader does not want to cooperate with me so basically we're playing around with#ascanio's household staff (alessandro) that whole thing wrt to ascanio & acts of piety/charity (such as covering dowries etc)#uh. that's it! this time i didn't accidentally call giuliano by his brother's name. which is . sherhhg. so there's a fic i was writing.#italian renaissance tag#komiks tag
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This was all the way back from the end of 2.3.
Hey Sparkle what the fuck.
#So out of left field#she didn't even anything to do with 2.6! she didn't even make an appearance!#I wonder if she had anything to do with it all or if she just knew from Silverwolf's script and is fucking with us#it's hard to tell with her jfkdjsklajd#...by which I mean I wonder if she was like playing both sides the way Reca did#I don't think she'd fully side with Primitive or anything bc people turning into monkeys doesn't seem like it'd serve her.#how are they gonna appreciate her art form like that?!#also Acheron literally just impersonating a Galaxy Ranger was enough to get her a death sentence. Sparkle is wild but she's not stupid.#And aligning with Primitive seems like a fast track to a messy execution. no one wants the Galaxy Rangers on their ass.#fun side note about the current mr. cold feet's pop-up shop event going on:#I think this Sampo really IS our Sampo and not Sparkle in disguise or anything. just that some outside influence might be fucking with him.#he WOULD have been on Penacony right around the time all this happened. and he was closely in cahoots with Sparkle herself.#and memetic viruses- whether from Penacony memoria or say maybe a meme crate unearthed out of the snow-#are known to have the possible effect of making one horribly nihilistic. to the point of giving up on life. just saying.#(don't actually know that it's much of anything but GOSH is it a lovely thing to daydream about uwu)#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail sparkle#hsr sparkle#sparkle#hsr 2.3#hsr 2.6#penacony#hanabi#hsr hanabi#honkai star rail hanabi
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Cross and Dream would be unstoppable. In a bad way. Those two are both overworking machines and Blue is so so tired of having to wrangle them into resting.
#utmv#undertale au#both of them have an awful mindset about work#they think they need to run themselves into the ground for it to be good#Dream because he thinks there's always things to be done#and Cross almost as a punishment to himself but also as a distraction#pushing his body further than it can go#and getting his brain to stop thinking altogether#can't think about how much of a fuckup you are if you can't think at all#I think If Cross were to become a more fixed part of the Star Sanses' lives then Blue would just have a lot more on his plate#I do think he already takes care of Dream somewhat#but Dream won't fight him too much on it#he's more reasonable#Cross is anything but helpful and reasonable#And then if Blue ends up confronting him that's just more reason for Cross to feel guilty#because he feels like he's wasting Blue's time who's been so nice and helpful and has welcomed him so easily and he's really sorry-#and Blue's just like 'bro. you're literally doing it again just stop'#and Blue just wishes this fucking guy would chill out.#he didn't have so many reservations about tearing AUs apart#anywayyy#fun thoughts#messy ones but y'know
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This month's feature is Crazy:B, with this edition releasing alongside their new Valentine's Day single 'Lovebug'! (written and produced by my hopes and dreams)
art-only version below the cut!
#enstars#ensemble stars#crazy:b#rinne amagi#niki shiina#kohaku oukawa#himeru#i love how this project was so i draw anything other than eden and bees and i immediately go back to drawing bees#me throwing all my schoolwork to the wayside for this one#i hope you know i was literally sitting in class instead of the project i have due in a week#i have been sitting here rendering for nearly 4 hours straight to get this out on time#and i still didn't#but it's okay it's close enough#happy (late) valentines day#i don't disklike it but i can definitely do better on this one#oh well#no one is more difficult on me than myself#enseason#if happyele won’t make the bees valentines event then I will goddamn#put their asses in more pink stat#the pink hoodie in my comic yesterday was foreshadowing#I thought their outfits were too plain and then they ended up being worse to deal with than the trickstar ones#you’ll see why whenever I post the sheets#that poor n in the masthead is never gonna see the light of day I’m so sorry
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I still don't think Ben did anything wrong during "Duped." He deserves to do normal teenage boy stuff like see a movie on opening day, and he was trying to give himself that while also saving the world AND supporting his girlfriend's tennis match. He didn't spend enough time with his duplicates to realize that they had opposing personalities to their assignments — it's not like he sent his asshole-self to Julie's match on purpose.
#ben 10#ben tennyson#tbh julie's match is the least important thing in that episode to me#how often does ben get to take time for himself??#sumo slammers is pretty much his ONLY interest since he doesn't have time for anything else#he had to stop playing soccer and he has to shut down his whole house just to play a fucking video game#LET THE MAN SEE A MOVIE FOR ONCE!!#i also do not care that ben didn't pause his game to take a phone call with julie for this exact reason#he's a teenager it's literally not a big deal if he's kind of a jerk to his girlfriend#should he be? no but he also shouldn't be saving the world he's 16#he SHOULD be seeing that movie#he's a kid his relationships just aren't that deep idk why the fandom has such a problem with them
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I hate when people are like "I already didn't like xyz so it's not difficult for me to boycott it unlike those loser customers that actually Liked the thing which I could never understand bc I was never a customer uwu" bc like. That literally isn't boycotting lmao. That is just Never Being A Customer In The First Place, which means nothing actually.
Boycotts are primarily about applying pressure (or completely making it impossible to operate) via financial/commercial/economic impact. AKA it's about money and capital.
If you already weren't spending money on a product/franchise/company, then you were already never part of their sales data, and you just doing nothing & making absolutely no change to your daily life and just continuing to not be part of their sales data as normal, has literally no material impact. You were already never a factor. The people who WERE customers & WERE part of the sales data & ARE withdrawing their money from those sales figures actually ARE making a material impact.
"Supporting" something isn't about vibes or thoughts or feelings or you telling your best friend how much you like a thing, "support" in a meaningful sense is specifically material. It is financial. Refusing to continue supporting something means taking the money you were previously spending on it & putting it elsewhere. If you were never spending money, you were never supporting it, and therefore it doesn't make any difference if you continue to not support it. Boycotting is something CUSTOMERS and CONSUMERS do.
SO STOP FUCKING BRAGGING ABOUT IT & STOP MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY ARE BOYCOTTING FOR "EVER LIKING XYZ TO BEGIN WITH" & STOP SPREADING THIS FALSE IDEA OF HOW BOYCOTTING WORKS LMAO sorry for capslocking I remembered I was annoyed
I just hate this low-morale mean-spirited bullshit some people do in the notifs on boycotting info posts where they arbitrarily moralize about something they just don't understand so they can pat themselves on the back for doing literally literally nothing AND inadvertently spreading misinfo in the process. Be quiet. Go do something that matters. There are plenty of posts going around, including from Palestinians themselves, with lists of references for how to help Palestine & other similar causes for people currently in crisis, please please do something For Real instead of boasting online about your fandom superiority complex as if it means anything.
#txt#It's annoying but more than that it shows that you have no desire to understand how meaningful action actually WORKS#You are not DOING anything you literally have no right to try to demean ANYONE who actually IS.#anyway just saw a comment on a post that annoyed me. I'm normal again sorries.#Like I'm a comics fan but I HATE the MCU so I was never going out and watching MCU movies anyway#I can't “boycott” CA4 bc I was never a customer to begin with. That's just me not watching another movie like it's a regular day.#But I CAN spread information about the boycott in hopes that people who might be actual consumers will see it & decide to boycott#& I can do that without insulting them bc if they're boycotting then they are engaging with more material action than I am on that issue.#But like it's not even really the insulting I care about so much as the “bragging about doing nothing (& spreading an incorrect idea of how#boycotting works in the process)” that actually bothers me most#BE WARNED THIS IS NOT A WELL-THOUGHT OUT INFORMATIONAL POST OR ANYTHING#so I may have worded things dumb/awkwardly bc I'm frustrated and I didn't like Plan Out this post#I made it on the fly in 5 minutes after getting annoyed about something I have seen enough times to be frustrated about it#coincidentally this whole post also doubles as me explaining why piracy isn't a real crime#it's a fake crime made up by people who care about Theoretical Money They Could Maybe Have but has no basis in material reality
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