#i like overthinking apparently
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More Hawks but she's a LADY
#i didnt wanna post this here because of the booba grab but like#its not even that bad#this account is pretty much sfw but im sure yall can handle this LMAOOO#i like overthinking apparently#bnha#mha#my art#my hero academia#hawks#dabi#dabihawks
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messaging... texting even... communicating........
#odd taxi#my art#<- it has been AGES since i tagged smth as that#oddtaxi#ruiyuki#rui nikaido#yuki mitsuya#hey guys .. *scampers around like a scared animal* did u miss me..#i hope this makes sense like. i dont know how to draw flip phones can u tell theyre. texting each other like is that apparent#im probably overthinking so hard man but this took 3 hours im not gonna just leave it to collect dust the world needs to know#the world needs to know how much i care abt these two#so so glad i could finish this before pride month ends#doggirl and catgirl yuri will save the world i think
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9cce734d991b8b29601605a80b1e12d1/6112bd6e03d2b905-ed/s540x810/d91d51a1c9d4a3c0219fcf2fb21e67a753fff6f0.jpg)
Geo is the only one in the group with soft, human eyes.
I can't possibly be imagining it because I could've sworn in Smash 4 that Geo's eyes were visible during Mega Man's Final Smash, but are now obscured in Ultimate (See Below). For one, it does make him look super cool that way, but I wonder if it's also following another reason.
#I did think back in smash 4 geo looked a little lost in some of the older screenshots#but now that it's adjusted in ultimate it's only adding to my fun-overthinking about it#everyone else has cool bold non-human eyes and then there's you#but y'know my point in that is everyone else finds it unique#like how apparently elephants think of us like pubbies#hello our very human friend with the nice soft human eyes :)#doodle-daas#comics#smash bros#megaman#rockman#geo stelar#subaru hoshikawa#omega-xis#warrock#megaman exe#megaman.exe#rockman exe#hub hikari#saito hikari#megaman x#rockman x#rock volnutt#protoman#blues#bass#forte
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questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
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looks at the comment under an insta post of mine from an old friend i haven’t spoken to in years suddenly calling me a cutie. what are we.
#we used to share our stories and recently (a few months ago) have shared an email exchange where i said i was writing again#and she said she’d like to see my new stuff but i haven’t responded back with the files cause i got nervous#and my original stories are super gay to and you can never be to careful but then then. i see her follow chappell roan. and like a vid sayi#send this to a childhood friend that also ended up gay (she didn’t send it to me i’m not out) AND she follows poppylaur#like. the girl kisser number one. so she’s queer also. apparently. and now calling me a cutie like out of nowhere (she got insta recently)#and like now im thinking. do i. do i reach out. send the files. ask to get coffee and reconnect girl what are we#i’m super overthinking tjis#thoughts for the new year i guess
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actual crime that we never got to see arthur's dog
#“I think my dog can catch better than you”#<- listen I know that:#1. it was just a line they wrote in for the sake of a joke#2. arthur's the king so of course he'll have several hunting dogs#but since I like to overthink stuff#he said MY DOG#like a specific one#one that merlin is apparently familiar enough with to joke about arthur treating it better than him#so arthur is a dog lover#canonically#let's all think about this for a second#can you picture arthur playing fetch with his favourite dog#because I can and it is wonderful#arthur pendragon#merlin#bbc merlin#g thinks about merlin
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Continued from here:
The Cursebreaker laughed softly and nodded. "Our little secret," Miles agreed. Any that remained could be given to Kenneth, or held onto by one of the two for the future. Either way, it was certain to be put to good use.
The pat to his back received a subtle reach and squeeze to the other's lower forearm. More akin to a light graze of his hand around Otto's wrist; it was enough to show affection, yet not enough to be overly noticeable to anyone they passed by on their excursion down to the lower level of the Hideaway. The sleeping quarters of the Cursebreakers awaited them, and Miles held no qualms with showing the other to his dormitory.
Upon reaching that oh-so familiar, yet not at all unique door into his living quarters, the bottle was handed to the head steward for safe keeping. Then he eased the wooden barrier open and motioned in a polite half-bow for his friend to enter.
"After you, my lord."
The room was, as one would expect, simple. It contained a bed, a small writing desk and chair, and an equally simple little bedside table. The bed was neatly made, blankets undisturbed -- or untouched, rather. On the writing desk was an array of papers, from half-finished letters to carefully read reports. Each one held a common thread of being disheveled, in stark contrast to the bedding. For the most part, personal effects were scarce; a sheathed sword was resting against the far wall. There were two items tacked up to the walls: a map of Storm, as well as an age-worn Rosarian banner, as tattered and beaten as the Grand Duchy herself, but still holding on just as proudly as her people.
And there were books, a few stacks of books scattered about. An open journal sat upon the desk's surface, though the current pages were still empty.
The door was quietly closed behind Miles, where he hesitated with hand upon the doorknob. "Please, make yourself comfortable," he encouraged. "I thought it best to go somewhere private, that you might feel more at ease in telling me more about yourself. About your life before this, about Deryn and your former family, about... well, you."
When the older man did turn around, there was a gentle, warm smile playfully tugging at the corners of his lips. "If, of course, it is not too painful for you to discuss. Curious though I am, and as much as I desire to get to know the two of you more --" There was a pause. The smile faltered for a split second, then returned anew with even greater sympathy in tow. "-- I also understand that there are some wounds that are far too painful to wish to talk about."
@hideawaysteward
#Encounters#Verse: From the Fire#hideawaysteward#Elwin looking at Otto while sounding like Alucard from Symphony of the Night: I'm interested in this#also I bullshitted where people sleep -- don't @ me okay#at first I kept Googling the second Hideaway's map and I did see The Bunks area#but then someone literally asked on Reddit apparently where the people there sleep and people brought up cool ideas about The Bunks as#well as more downstairs too by bringing up room + an inaccessible stairwell leading to the lower level???#so I basically just argued with myself for a while whether to have him be in The Bunks or downstairs and as you can see the latter won out#something something Cursebreakers being able to get up there and jump to defense easier/quicker if The Hideaway gets attacked again#don't mind me as I jazzhands my way out a window for overthinking this#ALSO I STILL HAVE THE OTHER REPLIES I OWE YOU DRAFTED TOO
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#well I just submitted my essay for my history class so I'm finally done with finals#I wish I felt happier or relieved or something but I don't. I feel awful. my body hurts from the incredible amount of tension/anxiety I had#trying to finish it before 11:59. I submitted it at 11:55. I have never come that close before and I hate it#the amount of anxiety I had you'd think the deadline was hunting me for sport#and what's worse is I felt all this anxiety and put all this work into it and I'm not even happy about it#I spent two days trying to figure out what he wanted us to write about because apparently he just seems to be really bad at instructions#like I thought maybe it was just me overthinking but I spent two hours talking to my mom about it and in the end even she couldn't figure i#so then I had only two days to gather notes make an outline write an essay. while burnt out and barely able to focus.#and while not knowing exactly what I was doing like is this what he wants. is it not. who knows I literally don't have time left#to figure it out I just need to write something and hope it works#but I hate being unsure it makes everything harder#especially because I really wanted to make a good grade. this was the class where I made a 78 on my midterm#which brought my class grade to a B but I'd been able to get it back to an A and I'd be able to keep it if I got like an 80ish on the final#the essay turned out okay idk if it's what he wanted but whatever at least I got the other requirements like word count and sources#but the CITATIONS...we had to use chicago which I'd never used before and let me just say. mla is the love of my life after this.#actually chicago might not be that bad if I got used to it I think my violence should be directed toward every word processor#that links footnotes. it is so STUPID that there isn't an easier way to make them different#if it hadn't been for trying to figure out footnotes on google docs I could've submitted it like ten minutes earlier#and with phenomenally less stress#I eventually had to make a choice as to what I'd give up: (1) submitting it on time (2) perfect citations or (3) word doc#which is what he wanted it submitted as#except when I tried that thank goodness I looked at the preview before I submitted it because I saw that it'd messed up the citations#I ended up submitting it as a pdf. on time. with perfect (maybe) (I didn't have time to double check) citations. but not as a word doc.#is it the end of the world? idk probably not but not meeting a professor's requirements is like. anathema.#all of that is to say that I'm going to cry and then let it go and get to bed and just. idk. I've reached that point where#I'm so tired and numb that it feels like I'll never feel better#anyway#maybe I hurt because of my meds and the side effects decided to kick in now because the grace of God held them back long enough#for me to finish#earl crow ramblings
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Alright chat before s2 starts tomorrow I want to put one more idea out there or rather, theory.
So we know that the red gate at the diamond level probably leads to like, a lobby or something. Probably a no-pvp zone. Assuming that every civilization has a lobby exit gate at their last level (depending on the weapon this might just be instantly accessible) Is there actually a way out? Or is this it? Are they suspended in the void? Is there ever really anything outside of the civilizations? Is it an apocalypse out there, perceived to be that way? Or is it. Nothing special? Personally what I'm going with until its proven wrong: There is no true exit. Death is the only way out of PVP civilization. The whole thing with Evbo's immortality, his obsession with trying to get down lower and see if there's anything outside of it. Wouldn't it be fucked up if there was actually just nothing except this hell that he put himself through for no reason? The guy in episode 1 might've had a point there, and might've been the smartest guy Evbo ever met. The point of the whole game being to not play at all.
Putting himself in a cycle of dying and living and dying? Probably the worst idea he had, assuming I'm right. Which considering everyone seems more concerned about prolonging the inevitability of death? Farming for durability, paying for immortality with said durability? What if they already knew there was nothing out there, and nobody thought to tell Evbo. Either because they didn't have the heart to crush his dreams, or fear that it would break him. Could you imagine how devastated he would be if he got that revealed to him? That there isn't a way out, that nobody is going to escape PVP Civilization. There is no Chosen One, to lead everyone out of hell.
#pvp civilization#pvp civ spoilers#pvpciv#sympathytea overthinks#dark as fuck theory i know#since religion is. a particular focal point that Evbo seems to really like in his stories#and this is apparently also tied into the simulation series according to him#i wouldnt be surprised if this was also just a simulation#but it feels weird for that to be the big reveal right?#since he mentions it offhandedly like it wasnt a big deal in the Evmo pvpciv lore video#so honestly i dont think. thats it.#or atleast not entirely#we have both the creator and the chosen one as “religious” figures and maybe like. regular gods in there too#personally for me i think the multiple religions thing is interesting as a concept#because it also! ties into the death escape theory#we are naturally obsessed with the afterlife and also deeply afraid of it and its clear these people are too#and don't want to be caught dead.#so. it just makes sense right? if there was a way out why would these people not be going towards that?#someone must've tried already right? id imagine it wouldnt be too tough to just mine through the walls assuming they arent in adventure mod#assuming this place has been around long enough for people to have already settled on the lower layers and be having a civil war about it#nobody remembers their lives outside of this civilization#what if they just never had one?#anyway im rod sterling
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okay turning off anon for a bit! might turn it back on when i feel normal again
#with misha on his chaos tour across european cons...#lol no but i really need a min to like. breathe and return to what brings me joy here#cause apparently i'm now a medium/big blog in this fandom??(?) and that feels wrong tbh and i feel.. watched? so i overthink everything#not explaining this well but basically i feel a bit uncomfortable and like there's more responsibility now#which is a little bit silly cause it's not that serious!!#super honest moment at 1 pm on a tuesday ✌️#anyway <3
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everynoe stfu i just had an epiphany..../ apparently i can be verbally articulate?
#june shines#ok this is going to sound silly but#i'm working on an assignment for music cog and the teacher has recordings of the lectures up#and i was looking for a detail from the discussion and i am a Professional Yapper™ in that class so i heard my own voice#and like. i actually articulated my thoughts clearly. like im sitting here and im like wow i did not fuck up as many words as expected#i am weird about talking#but i guess maybe i fixate on my stuttering and overlook all the times where i am apparently very clear and articulate#anyways slight ego boost though i still find listening to myself talk a little Wrong#like it's just embarrassing idk#but everything is embarrassing if you think hard enough about it#(guy who overthinks)#the trials of juniversity
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can I just say. how absolutely mentally exhausting it is to constantly be questioning the intentions behind someone's words and actions
#momo rambles#I have a coworker at work who I KNOW doesn't like me#and numerous times she's told me that she likes smth I have#today it was my hoodie#and I know from a friend that apparently she'll tell someone she likes smth of theirs but she actually hates it#and she talks bad about it behind their back#and lowkey I think she's tried to get me in trouble a few times???? she also avoids me a lot#and I am a small shaking scared cat with trauma and trust issues#PLEASE just say what you mean#if your actions are not matching your words I am going to spend every second anxiously overthinking my dynamic with you#if you have an issue with me just tell me 😭😭😭#it's so exhausting#I'm mentally exhausted#sorry guys I needed to scream that one into the void LMAO#and none of my irls follow me here
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why is my roommate crushing hard on the guy she has explicitly and repeatedly stated is beat-for-beat a male version of me. should i ponder this
#she's bisexual and we've always been rly close and share clothes constantly... idk we're dark mirrors of each other#im not gonna overthink this but apparently she talks abt me to her friends all the time..... sus?#again she's obsessed with the indian film bro obsessed with catcher in the rye who dresses looks and acts like me but male#like do i overthink this yes or no. we're not rooming together next year btw and semester ends soon so anything goes atp
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re ivm: called my friend and sent her some screenshots and she said im incredibly dense rip
#at least i know i wasnt overthinking things (i am but like he does apparently like me)#helena talks to the void#ivm
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New year, new me, new pinned post..?
Hi! I'm Aster, and if you were to ask a fun fact about me I would say that:
✧ My name has to do with a flower named after its star shape🪻⭐
✧ The most famous Aster I can think of is Ari Aster ( a movie director) , coincidentally I was a film student in far away past.
✧ Aster reminds me of Asterion, the minotaur from the labyrinth myth. ←As seen by the way my brain works, I'm one of those mythology obssessed people.
Additionally, and perhaps the most important but not particularly fun fact is that I love art in all it's ways, shapes and forms. Literature, music, movies, writing. The specifics never matter, I'm always down to experience and learn about it. Which means I blog about whatever narrative is consuming my soul at that time.
The ones that have been living in mind for some years now are:
✧Full metal alchemist
✧Hirano to Kagiura and, to a lesser extent, Sasaki to Miyano
✧Given (not so much the sequel, I still have complex feelings about that one)
And probably many more that I'm forgetting rn. Believe me, brain empty but also brain perpetually full with references, which means that I never shut up.
So yeah, if you can take my constant yapping about Hirano Taiga we could be friends and probably get along lol.
This is the closest we'll get to a face reveal lol.
5th? I think, fun fact of the day: I think the coolest design decision you can take is making the character a redheads. However, through my life my favs have always been blonds. Kudos to you if you recognize the 3 of them lol.
#I'm a little bit stupid and 100% anxious so I've been overthinking this#A LOT#I was having a hard time shrinking down my personality into the most digestible amount of lines of text#and guess what#apparently people's personalities are much more larger than words!#and then I realized that my approach was all wrong..?#cuz somehow introduction posts are actually never about who the person is(?#they are much more focused on what the person likes/posts about#it just so happens that I link my likes to my personality a tad bit too much#you might be what you eat but I am the stories I've experienced (lol. I literally have a whole college essay on this)#so anyway#I was like “Should I mention Genshin here? I once talked for 3 hours about Tartaglia so like I'm pretty damn obsessed” but no#if you are gonna see me as a gamer (which I'm not) please think of me loving assassin's creed#my feelings towards Genshin are too complex for me to actually tie it to my reputation#-said the guy talking about Genshin in the tags of their pinned post#something something I realized that I have frewill and I can use my blog to archive my own art#but then I panicked about that#so this counts as going through exposure therapy#if you have recs on anything#(mangas/animes/documentaries/songs/whatever. Please give them to me)#I'm a recommendations hoarder lol
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Good news: i had a good conversation with my husband about what was bothering me (it’s just life stuff like our life here in canada and some things that have been happening) and we both came to the same conclusion that i should focus more on myself and prioritize myself more too so that’s going to be my new mantra for now on haushauah i love this man bc he always helps me when i really feel down and to see the positive things and try to hold on to it. So that’s what i’m going to try to do, it won’t be easy but what’s easy in my life? Lmao so yeah, i am feeling way better after talking to him.
Bad news: because of my shitty mood (and breakdown), i ended up not writing anything haushuaha but is still friday so i might still write tonight or not, we will see.
#ღ ⸻ jane speaks .#just to make things clear that#my breakdown was because i was thinking we were going to leave the country bc of the new immigration rules#but apparently i was overthinking things about it#some other life stuff was bothering me too but#there is nothing i can do about that so i will just try to let it be#and focus on myself more like i said#also i hate that when i am feeling sad i start to feel sad about literally anything#like the snowball effect you know? when things just start to accumulate#and when you notice you are about to have a breakdown 😭😭😭#anyways i just wanted to post this bc some people here were worried about me#and thank you all so much for reaching out!! ❤️❤️❤️
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