#like the snowball effect you know? when things just start to accumulate

[foxballad]

Good news: i had a good conversation with my husband about what was bothering me (it’s just life stuff like our life here in canada and some things that have been happening) and we both came to the same conclusion that i should focus more on myself and prioritize myself more too so that’s going to be my new mantra for now on haushauah i love this man bc he always helps me when i really feel down and to see the positive things and try to hold on to it. So that’s what i’m going to try to do, it won’t be easy but what’s easy in my life? Lmao so yeah, i am feeling way better after talking to him.

Bad news: because of my shitty mood (and breakdown), i ended up not writing anything haushuaha but is still friday so i might still write tonight or not, we will see.

[gamerwoo]

[Tales from the Pack] Seungcheol: Stubborn (Bonus)

Characters: Seungcheol x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, fantasy, fluff, smut during the second half (fingering/eating out, a lot of praise, just cheol being really soft, unprotected sex [remember to use condoms friends!!!], unintentional sorta exhibitionism?????)

Word count: 4,544

Summary: You’ve heard the stories your relatives told you about werewolves when you were younger, but you always thought it was just a scare tactic to make kids behave. Well, up until you woke up in a den full of werewolves.

a/n: this part takes place further into the future during seungkwan’s part, and since it contains spoilers for the future, i recommend skipping this and reading up to part 8 of seungkwan’s series, and then coming back when you’re done!!

Previous | Stubborn Masterlist | TftP Masterlist

Maybe it was because everyone was on-edge about Seungkwan’s condition that was rapidly decreasing. Maybe it was because everybody was still a bit shaken up over Eunjin being what she was. But something was making your old habits of being a thief kick in. You hid in shadows, snuck around the house, and came and went like the wind. Hardly anybody saw you, including your mate.

You weren’t avoiding Seungcheol, not at all. You were just uncomfortable, and that made you want to stay hidden. You assumed it was the tension in the house, but you just didn’t want to be seen, heard, or noticed. Unfortunately, this also happened to effect Seungcheol who now usually had to sniff you out or simply follow the imprinting pull.

The last couple weeks, though, Seungcheol had gotten down your typical hiding places – although, he did almost trip over you while trying to find you because you were crouched down behind the counter while you sharpened the kitchen knives for fun. Today, though, he found you upstairs in Seokmin’s room.

Seokmin was a very positive person in the pack, and all he wanted was for everybody to get along. But because things weren’t working out between Seungkwan and Eunjin and there was nothing he could do, he typically hid away in his room and kept himself busy with reading or singing to keep his mind off of it. But today, you were hanging out with him while he tried to practice his weather power since he hadn’t intentionally used it before. It was only during those nights he had nightmares when it was developing that he’d used it -- but he didn’t even know it was him doing it -- and the few days he was first coping with the situation with Seungkwan. But none of those instances were intentional, so he wanted to hone in on his new power.

“Does it change the weather in town or just in our little area?” you wondered as Seokmin stared out the window, holding his hand out palm-up as his fingers slowly curled inward. Clouds started forming in the blue sky, turning it a grey color.

“I don’t really know,” Seokmin said absentmindedly as he watched the weather start to change at his own will. He suddenly looked over at you with a warm grin. “Do you like snow?”

You frowned, shaking your head. As a thief, you only had bad memories with snow. You didn’t really have a place of your own before, so you associated snow with being cold and struggling for the next few months. Sure, it was kind of pretty, but you never actually enjoyed it.

“What, really?” he asked, surprised that you didn’t like it. “Why not?”

“I was always stuck outside in the cold,” you said with a small pout, looking away from Seokmin and at the familiar grey sky that indicated snow coming.

Seokmin just smiled, “Don’t worry, I’ll show you how to enjoy it.”

“You’re really going to make it snow?”

“Just here – I think…”

Soon enough, little snowflakes began to fall from the sky. All you could do was frown as you watched, dreading when it would start accumulating. You knew you could just come back inside when you got too cold, but it was just the bad memories that were dragging you down.

You heard a soft knock at the door before you heard it open with a very quiet creak. You didn’t even have to turn around to guess who it was.

“What’re you two doing?” Seungcheol chuckled as he walked over to where the two of you were sitting on the floor, staring up at the window.

“Making snow,” Seokmin reported, letting his hand fall into his lap as he turned to look at the alpha. “You like snow, right, Seungcheol?”

Seungcheol shrugged as he crouched down behind and between the two of you, “Yeah, it’s fun – especially seeing the rest of you run around in it.”

Seokmin turned to you excitedly, “We shift and run around outside when it snows. The pack loves it.”

You just nodded, mumbling, “Good for you.”

“_____, do you not like snow?” Seungcheol wondered.

You shook your head in exaggerated movements to really get the point across. Seungcheol just smiled in amusement, putting a warm hand in the center of your back as he stroked it with his thumb.

“You can play with us in the snow tomorrow when it accumulates on the ground,” he suggested, “and if you hate it, I’ll bring you back inside and make you soup. Okay?”

You shrugged, mumbling an, “Okay…”

Thankfully for Seokmin, he didn’t have to sit there and constantly make the weather do what he wanted. Once he got it going, he didn’t have to do anything else until he wanted it to stop. 

“C’mon,” Seungcheol stood before he helped you up, “I need to get food in you.”

“Are Mingyu and Danbi back from Jiung’s?” Seokmin wondered.

“You just want to play with Jiwoo,” he chuckled. “Yeah, they’re back.”

“Finally!” Seokmin grinned, hopping up from the floor.

-

The next morning, you were awoken by the sound of howling and excited yipping. You groaned and rolled onto your other side, burying your face in your pillow to drown it out. You felt Seungcheol’s arms encircle you and pull you to his chest, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head.

But then you heard Yeji from downstairs shriek excitedly, “There’s snow everywhere!”

Your eyes opened, staying narrowed. You were definitely awake now.

“Guess the pack saw Seokmin’s little surprise,” Seungcheol said, his voice raspy and deep from sleeping.

Everyone had obviously noticed the snow falling the day prior, but about a foot or two had accumulated quickly on the ground around the house. A few of the wolves had already run outside to play, but apparently some people had just woken up and noticed – and by some people, you meant your overly-excited sister.

Soon enough, you heard feet bolting down the hall before throwing open your bedroom door.

“Seungcheol!” Mingyu was panting. “Seokmin made it snow yesterday, and look outside!”

“I didn’t realize snow on the ground meant everyone forgot how to knock,” Seungcheol said as he sat up and stretched his arms above his head.

Mingyu blushed a bit even though he knew he wasn’t interrupting anything, “Sorry. Are you gonna come outside?”

“In a bit. Let me bundle up _____.”

“_____, we can have a snowball fight!” Mingyu gasped excitedly. “I bet you’ll be really good at it.”

You rolled over, looking up at Seungcheol, “Is that the thing kids do?”

Seungcheol chuckled, nodding his head, “Yes. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re all just very big children.”

-

After being put in five sweaters, two pairs of pants – one pair being yours and the other being Seungcheol’s just because he thought they might somehow be better for you – and a hat, Seungcheol brought you outside with him while he wore just a sweater and a pair of pants. You looked up at the sky, scrunching your face as snow hit your skin. Seungcheol chuckled as he watched, taking note of how beautiful you looked with fresh snow falling into your hair.

The entire pack was out in the yard, even little Jiwoo who was bundled up in multiple blankets and was being held on Minghao’s hip while her father was enjoying the snow. Most of the boys were in their wolf forms, running around, rolling in it, or trying to catch snowflakes in their mouths. Mingyu was rolling a ball of snow with his muzzle while he helped Danbi make a snowman. Minghao was softly talking to Jiwoo about how pretty the snow was as her large eyes looked around in wonder, it being the first time the young child had seen the white, fluffy stuff. Those of the pack in their human form were tossing snowballs at each other and others while they laughed loudly.

The only person who wasn’t playing in the snow – that you could see – was Joshua. He just said the last thing he wanted was to be pelted with cold things. You couldn’t say you disagreed with Josh.

“How is this fun?” you grumbled, looking back at Seungcheol as you blinked snowflakes off your eyelashes.

“Well just staring at it isn’t fun,” he told you. “Go make a snowman or a snow angel or–”

“_____!” you heard Chan call. You turned your head just in time to catch a snowball to the chest. You froze, staring at the same spot while the youngest giggled. “Come play with us!”

“Ah, maybe after she gets used to the snow, Chan,” Seungcheol told him pointedly as he grabbed your arms and pulled you over to where Wonwoo and Danbi were now making snow angels together. “Why don’t you stay with Wonwoo while I go get changed. He’ll make sure you don’t get hit with anything.”

Wonwoo nodded up at you from where he was squatting down on the ground, not even looking as he put up a hand to block the stray snowball coming his way. As soon as it splattered against the side of his arm, he let it down and looked back down at his sister on the ground.

“See? You’re in good hands,” Seungcheol grinned as he pressed a kiss to your temple before he went back into the house.

Mingyu, who was watching the siblings make snow angels, pressed his snow-covered nose against your cheek as he sniffed your face. Even that made you make a face and recoil away from him, shoving his furry face away.

“So,” Danbi sat up with snow in her hair, “you really have never played in the snow?”

Wonwoo chuckled at his sister as he began to brush the snow from her hair, saying, “Not everybody likes snow, Danbi. Lilly was allergic.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “How can somebody be allergic?”

“I believe the doctor in town called it cold urticaria.”

“Excuse me?”

Wonwoo just laughed softly, shaking his head.

Seungcheol came back outside quickly, but he was in his wolf form this time. He ran up to you and nuzzled into your hair happily, excited to be able to play outside with his brothers. You couldn’t help but laugh at how happy he was, but it stopped when he moved his nose to nudge you in the side, moving you closer to the chaos of the pack.

“Whoa, what?” you asked as your legs were forced to move forward. “Seungcheol, I didn’t agree to this!”

Still, your mate continued to move your forward so you could properly experience the snow. Of course, the pack noticed this and started to get even more excited. Soonyoung bounded over to you, skidding to a stop and kicking up snow. 

The first thing Seungcheol tried to get you to try was making a snowman. He started by poking a snowball on the ground with his nose, nudging it around until it started to roll into a bigger ball. He looked up at you expectantly before he gestured to the growing ball with his head.

You huffed, “Seungcheol this shit is cold. I don’t want to touch it.”

He let out a huff of his own before pointing at the ball sharply with his nose.

You grumbled to yourself about how you didn’t want to, but you did it anyway. You bent down and began rolling the ball around until Seungcheol decided it was big enough to be a snowman base. Then he helped you make the middle and managed to maneuver it on top of the first ball with his muzzle. Then he let you make the head and put that on as well.

Yeji had ventured into the woods earlier with Hansol and Junhui to find pebbles on the ground since the property was completely covered in snow. So she gave you a few from her pocket for eyes and buttons. Then Seungcheol trotted over with a stick in his mouth and handed it to you. You very un-enthusiastically jammed it in the poor snowman’s face. Your fingers were numb, your nose and cheeks were red, and you just wanted to go inside and curl up under some blankets.

To add insult to injury, the wolves were playing too rough with each other, and Junhui skidded straight into your snowman, knocking it over and causing its snow body to splatter on the ground. Seungcheol looked down at the dead snowman body before he growled and leaped at the younger werewolf, wrestling with him for ruining your hard work.

You wished you were the snowman.

-

You walked into your bedroom with a towel still between your hands as you dried your hair, damp from the snow. However, when you walked into your room, Seungcheol was in there, still without clothes on. He had shifted back downstairs while you went to go get a towel to dry your hair, and now he was digging through drawers to find new clothes for the both of you.

This wasn’t the first time seeing Seungcheol naked. You’d taken showers and baths together plenty of times. But for some reason, your cheeks were heating up – and not just because you had been playing out in the snow.

You walked over to your mate – you knew he could hear you enter – and wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your nose into his back to warm it while your hands clung to his toned stomach, making him shiver from how cold they felt.

“I feel like an ice cube,” you whined.

“Yeah, you do,” he chuckled. “Do you want me to warm you up?”

You nodded, your nose rubbing against his back. Except, you were thinking of other means of warming up than he was. Most of the pack was still playing outside anyway.

“Alright, let me just find some–”

“Seungcheol?” when you spoke this time, your voice was a lot smaller than it had been. 

“Hmm?”

“Y-you don’t have to, like…put clothes on if, y’know…this is more comfortable…”

Seungcheol laughed softly, turning in your arms to face you. He cupped your face between his hands, eyebrows raised, “Is this your way of telling me you want to do something?”

You’d done things with Seungcheol before, sure. But you’d never actually had ‘proper’ sex with him before. It wasn’t that you were scared or didn’t know how, you just always felt a little uncomfortable knowing that the rest of the pack would be able to hear you. But now that they were all preoccupied outside…

You nodded, “I’m cold, it’s for my health.”

“_____, you’re not going to get hypothermia,” he laughed, rolling his eyes playfully. “What do you want me to do?”

“Well…” you began slowly, trying to ignore the heat that was now crawling to the tip of your ears, “I-I think I’m ready for marking.”

Seungcheol’s eyes widened, though he looked more surprised than afraid. The statement just took him off guard. You’d never even mentioned marking other than when you asked about how it worked and if the pain was bad, but you hadn’t mentioned it in a while.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his hands stroking up and down your arms. “You don’t need to feel pressured or anything.”

“Seungcheol, I really want to,” you insisted. “I love you and I want to be yours.”

“You are mine, with or without a mark,” he promised, a soft smile on his face as he placed the bend of his finger under your chin. “Look at Danbi and Mingyu – she wasn’t marked for a long time.”

“I promise, Cheol, I’m asking because I want it.”

Seungcheol nodded, “Okay. Then I’d be more than happy to mark you as mine.”

He smiled as he leaned down to press his lips to yours, softly and playfully at first but slowly growing in intensity and desperation. Your back hit the mattress, making both of you giggle as he toppled down on top of you, making sure to catch himself with his hands as to not actually crush you. But still, his lips never left yours.

“Guess it’s a good thing you don’t have all those layers on anymore,” he chuckled against your lips, one of his thumbs stroking your cheek that was still flushed from the cold.

Seungcheol sat up just enough to pull your shirt off over your head. He let his eyes scan over your body, a warm grumble resonating in his chest as his hands wandered over your soft skin, “You’re so beautiful, you know that?”

“Only because you never stop telling me,” you laughed softly, rolling your eyes.

“And I’ll never stop telling you,” he insisted before he was leaning down again to meet your lips.

His lips moved feverishly against yours like he couldn’t get enough of you. One hand cupped your cheek while the other held him up, his tongue pushing passed your lips to explore your mouth. Your arms were around him, fingers tangled in his hair to keep him as close as possible. 

Seungcheol’s lips began to trail downward, leaving open-mouthed kisses down your neck, nipping and sucking on your skin on their way. His hands moved to take your bra off, unclipping it behind you before sliding the straps down. That was tossed off the side of the bed, Seungcheol not even paying attention to where he threw it.

His lips went to one of your nipples, one hand massaging the other and brushing your nipple with his thumb. You moaned out his name softly, arching your chest up as your eyes fluttered closed. His tongue flicked over the hardening bud, looking up at you as he did so to watch every little movement from your face.

Seungcheol’s mouth continued its decent, his hands also moving downward to pull off your bottoms and underwear. You lifted your hips to help, and then he tossed those off the bed to join your bra on the floor.

Now, Seungcheol was laid down on his stomach between your thighs, pushing your legs open to make room for him. Seungcheol had seen you like this before already but it didn’t stop the heat rushing to your cheeks or the urge to close your legs and hide from his eyes that were locked on your heat as the yellow began to dot red.

“So beautiful…” he whispered, brushing his index finger through your folds before teasing your slit.

You whimpered softly, covering your face from embarrassment.

Seungcheol chuckled seeing your expression, dipping his head closer to you, “You’re cute when you’re shy.”

You felt his tongue lick a stripe from your slit to your clit, and you bit your lip to keep from moaning. Your hands went to his dark hair as his lips wrapped around your clit and sucked lightly, flicking his tongue over the bundle of nerves. You already knew what Seungcheol’s tongue was capable of, and yet, it still took you by surprise.

“Don’t keep in those noises, baby,” Seungcheol cooed as he teased his finger at your entrance again. He slowly slid it in, smirking a little at the way you said his name in a quiet moan. “The pack is outside and they’re not paying any attention – nobody will hear you.”

He began pumping his finger slowly, curling it to reach all the spots he’d learned you liked while his lips and tongue worked on your clit. You let out a moan that was a little louder this time, your hips starting to grind up into Seungcheol. 

He added a second finger, curling them the same way as he pressed his tongue flat against your clit and let you grind against his face, growling softly as your hands tugged at his hair. He started scissoring his fingers in you, stretching you out for what was to come once he decided you were prepped enough. For now, he just wanted to enjoy the soft moans and mewls that fell from your lips.

You felt a knot starting to tighten in your lower abdomen, so you started rocking your hips faster. Seungcheol noticed the signs of your incoming release – your hips speeding up, the way your eyebrows knitted together, the way your whines started to get higher – and removed his fingers, sitting up and away from you. Had you not known Seungcheol planned on giving you exactly what you wanted very soon, you would’ve never let him hear the end of your complaining.

You watched as Seungcheol stuck his two fingers in his mouth, lapping up your juices as he smirked at you with red eyes, “You taste so sweet, princess.”

“Cheol…” you whined, covering your face with your arms.

He just chuckled, leaning down above you to move your limbs away from your face, pressing a kiss to your lips. He kissed you softly for a moment as to try to get rid of any nervousness you might’ve had before he gripped his member, stroking it a few times to get it fully hard before he was teasing your folds with the tip. He smirked at the way your hips wiggled and bucked up slightly.

He pulled back just enough to look at you, all of the playfulness melting away, “Are you ready?”

You nodded, moving your hands to grip his shoulders.

“Just tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

You nodded again, so Seungcheol lined himself up with your entrance. Then he was slowly pushing into you, letting out a soft groan and an even softer “fuck” as his head dropped into your neck. Your fingers dug into his shoulders as he stretched you out, your eyes squeezing closed. It definitely hurt a little but but not enough for you to want him to stop.

Once he was completely inside, he stilled, his lips brushing across your neck in small kisses to help you relax. When you finally gave him the okay, he moved at a slow pace, trying to make sure you weren’t uncomfortable in any way. You���d done other intimate stuff but he’d never been inside you – and he knew you’d never had sex before – so he didn’t want to hurt you. He was even honored you trusted him with this.

“You’re doing so well, baby,” he hummed, capturing your lips in a sweet kiss as his hips continued to rock at a steady pace. 

You let out a quiet moan at his praise, your arms wrapping around his neck to keep him close to you. He smiled against your lips, the happy grumble in his chest vibrating against yours. One of his hands moved down your body, raising goosebumps until he reached your clit. His fingers worked circles into it, drawing soft mewls from you that were music to his ears.

“Do you feel okay?” he asked quietly.

You nodded, biting your lip softly. The pain had slowly gone away, leaving you with only pleasure that was slowly building the knot in your stomach back up. The look you gave him with your eyebrows knitting together in pleasure but your eyes almost begging him to do more was enough to almost send him over the edge, especially with how amazing you felt around him.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered, using his thumb to gently tug your bottom lip from between your teeth. “My beautiful little mate.”

He sat up as his own orgasm began to approach, determined to get you to cum before he did. He knew it would distract from the pain of marking and that was his biggest priority. Seungcheol wanted to avoid hurting you at all costs, at least for your first time. 

His fingers started moving quicker as he started aiming his thrusts into a new spot, making you moan out his name and grip the sheets beneath you.

“You’re doing so good for me, baby,” he moaned, his dark bangs sticking to his forehead with sweat. “Fuck… You take me so well; you’re so amazing.”

Your orgasm started to approach a lot faster than you thought it would, your moans and whimpers growing louder and more needy. Seungcheol could tell you were getting close from the way you clenched around him, but he couldn’t have you cumming just yet.

Seungcheol removed his fingers from your clit, placing both hands on your hips as he rolled his hips into yours. You whined, the quickly building high dying down a little bit because of the loss of stimulation.

“Just hold on a little longer, love,” he grunted, trying to get himself closer to his own high. His eyes closed as his head dropped back, the sight of his toned body shining from the light sheen of sweat on his body making him look godlike. “You feel so amazing, I’m almost there…”

Your high was still building with every thrust of Seungcheol’s hips, though. You pulled him back down to you, trying to distract yourself by leaving little kisses and love bites along the column of his neck and across his collarbones. Seungcheol groaned at the feeling, his hips suddenly sharply thrusting forward into you. With the burn of your orgasm approaching, you bit on Seungcheol’s shoulder – not enough to break skin or anything – to hold yourself back, clenching around him.

That was enough to tip him over the edge, one hand going back down to your clit and rubbing into it quickly. Your eyes squeezed shut as your body tensed with your orgasm.

“Let go, baby,” he said softly, but his voice was a growl.

It hit you harder than any other high you’d had, but it was the second wave that really got you. It came with a sudden sharpness in the crook of your neck, but it had you crying out Seungcheol’s name as your toes curled and your thighs locked around his hips. It felt amazing.

After riding out both of your highs, Seungcheol took his teeth out of you and dragged his tongue across the wound to help it heal. You whimpered at the feeling of him pulling out of you, his release and yours dripping slowly down your thighs.

“It didn’t hurt too much, did it?” he wondered.

“No,” you sighed, letting your fingers drag through Seungcheol’s dark hair. You smiled up at him softly when he pulled away to look at your face. “I love you.”

He grinned, bumping your nose with his own, “I love you, too. Thanks for letting me do this – it means so much to me.”

Your sweet moment was cut off by a knock at the door, which had Seungcheol’s head whipping around to look at the door.

“I want you guys to know,” Joshua’s voice came from the other side, “that I didn’t go outside, and I heard everything. Also, you’re lucky Seungkwan’s on his deathbed or you’d have two disgusted wolves here.”

Your face turned completely red as you hid in Seungcheol’s neck while he laughed at you.

“You said nobody could hear!” you whined.

“Yeah, well,” he shrugged, not seeming to care if his brother heard or not, “I guess I forgot about Josh.”

[thepursuitofunderstanding]

February 10/2021

I wonder if part of the reason that I haven’t become completely undone in regards to my bipolar cycling is because of our relationship? That is, you make me aware of myself and hold me accountable. It seems that many people with bipolar disorder just sort of plummet or fly without really noticing their movement until suddenly they can’t not notice it anymore. How do I explain this? For, this lack of awareness of one’s internal self doesn’t seem to merely be an attribute of people with bipolar disorder. Rather, many, many people seem to partake in this manner of living, this tendency to exist on autopilot most of the time. To not really be present with and through themselves, and therefore also not observing themselves. This tendency to exist on autopilot, to pawn oneself to the world as Kierkegaard would say, or “falling prey” in Heideggerian terms (I think), is merely a bigger issue with it comes to bipolar people. As many things are I suppose, for the stakes are infinitely higher when one is bipolar. 

For, when one is bipolar and not watchful of oneself, it seems then to be a sort of snowball effect. At least, from my understanding of bipolar disorder thus far. Like how when one starts to feel a bit depressed they tend towards things which actually make their depression worse. Things like withdrawing, eating shitty food, isolating, ceasing to exercise, ceasing to do the things that they once enjoyed, etc., etc.. This is the vicious cycle, it feeds on itself. The more that one starts to display the “symptoms” (if you will), of depression, the more depressed that one becomes, and then the more pronounced the symptoms become and on and on and on until one can hardly get out of bed anymore. 

This sort of plummeting of one’s mental health is self-overcoming. That is, it is forever outgrowing its bounds. So if one doesn’t notice or pay attention to the shifting, it transforms from something small (small seems like the wrong word. Depression never feels small. Even a touch of depression can devour a person.) into a massive gaping hole. 

This self-overcoming that I detect in bipolar disorder is easier for me to conceive in regards to depression. But perhaps that’s only because I’ve had so much more experience with depression; I’m intimately attuned to the nature of depression. I think that I can really only say that I’ve had one pure and continuous experience of mania. I’ve had touches of mania at other times, but it’s never gone on and on for months on end like what I’m experiencing right now. Or the manic episode that I had those few years ago. Thus, it’s still hard for me to detect in myself. Because when one exists in such a state for an extended period of time, one forget what “normal” was before and this new elevated state becomes the new normal. Ahh yes! It is this continuously shifting threshold of “normal” that seems to characterize bipolar disorder. Other people seem to have a rather set and stable “normal”, an anchor point, if you will. For us bipolar folks, this anchoring doesn’t really exist, we’re endlessly transitory. Our “normal” raises and lowers (and sometimes completely disappears) depending on our life circumstances and our mood. 

To return to the idea that started this whole wandering, I have you. You force me to look at myself. Thus I can see that I’m sliding into mania a bit here. And thus, maybe? I can attempt to disrupt, or at least lessen, the cycling which could lead to an accumulation of too much mania. If this is even possible in the first place. For there certainly does seem to be a level of bipolar cycling that is entirely out of my control. But there is also a certain amount of this that is in my control: I can decide how I react to, and interact with this cycling of mine. That is, I can remain on autopilot and become a pawn to this bipolar cycling or I can turn towards it and attempt to grapple with it. But, and this is very important, turning towards and grappling is not just an activity/decision that one engages in once. To bring Kierkegaard back into this (was he ever really out of it?), it is not like getting a sickness once and then just forever carrying it with one. One must, every moment, choose to turn towards this grappling. It must be continuously chosen and renewed. And this is exactly where you help me, because I know that I couldn’t maintain this turning towards and grappling if you didn’t hold me to it. Thus, in a very real sense, you have indeed saved my life--just as I have always said and known. But now my understanding of exactly how you do this has materialized for me to articulate. 

Perhaps the reason that I haven’t plummeted or flown to irrevocable heights and/or depths is because I have been so intimately aware of my movements. Because I’m so aware I haven’t got truly lost in any of these movements, not for any extended length of time at least. I’ve known where I am for the most part. Although it could also just be said that perhaps my bipolar cycling also just isn’t as intense (yet?) as some other people’s. Maybe it’s a collection of these things? Who the hell knows. 

All that I can discern is that it’s absolutely imperative that I do not ever stop writing. Such a thing could very well be a decision that culminates in the loss of my life. I am 100% serious about this, the stakes are clear to me here. I will die if I don’t write... This used to be something that I would claim in a more figurative sort of sense, but now I understand that the truth of this claim to be literal as well. I will die if I don’t write. 

So, alas, it seems that our relationship will have to persist until my death. You’re stuck with me, and me with you. What a glorious thing, a marriage of sorts. No matter how strained or brutal our relationship might get (I’m thinking here in terms of when I start trying to publish and all the inevitable rejection letters cause me to curse you) I can never leave. Now, the question, can you ever leave me? Is that a possibility? Or is “leaving” an option that is only open to me? Something to consider... Could writers block be conceived of as you leaving me perhaps? I don’t really know, I can’t say that I’ve ever really had writer’s block before. Of course, I’ve also never been this focused on writing before either. 

[a-simple-lee]

Close Combat

Peter Parker, Bucky Barnes, Sam WIlson, Reader

Synopsis: Nothing is off the table when you’re snowball fighting with three Avengers.

(Requested by an anon)

________________________________________________________________

Peter Parker has helped you on many combat missions. You’re not new to the battlefield; tough, merciless opponents are practically a given. That’s why the pair of you have become an experienced team. Both of you have faced many impossible challenges, and come out better for it.

But this?

This is war.

And it’s brutal.

Breath forming clouds in the frigid air, both of your hands numb as you prepare a sizeable armoury, ducking to avoid attacks every few seconds. It’s chaos, and you’re not sure whether you’ll make it out alive.

Peter’s frantically building up your defenses, making sure you both have a shield to hide behind.

“I’m gonna go out,” He starts, grabbing a missile.

“No, don’t! We’re not ready!” All the same, you start gathering the stash of weapons you’ve accumulated, preparing for the worst.

And then he goes charging over your makeshift barrier, straight into the line of fire. You both see the missile coming. Neither of you have the time to stop it.

“Pete!” You cry, a knot of panic in your stomach when you realize it’s too late for him.

The snowball hits Peter square in the chest. He collapses for dramatic effect; the first casualty. You stifle a giggle at his theatrics, and peek over your snow fort towards the opposing team.

“You’re gonna pay for that, Barnes! Wilson!” 

“My ass we are!” Falcon’s crimson goggles peek over the top of their wall. A snowball comes hurtling towards your face which you dodge just in time. Peter is getting up off of the floor, clutching a handful of snow behind his back. 

“You monsters! Attacking a child! How could you?!” You lob a couple of well-aimed snowballs towards their end, and manage to hit Sam’s face. Bucky pops up for a second to lob a small barrage of snowballs at your fort with considerable force, and your snow fort takes some damage. Ice spatters onto your hair with each impact, and you curse to yourself before trying to rebuild your shelter.

“You won’t get away with this!” 

“We already have!” Bucky crows, tossing a snowball in Peter’s direction for good measure. Pete deflects it, and vaults over their fort in one swift motion - you stand up taller, making yourself vulnerable to attack to see what he’s doing. 

Sam all but screams as Peter grabs him by the shoulders, and shoves a good chunk of snow into his coat collar. 

“Ah, fuck- NO! SHIT!” He struggles to take his coat off before the snow has time to completely melt, stumbling away.

“Aha! TAKE THAT!” You cheer. One of Bucky’s snowballs hits you in the stomach; it’s got a considerable amount of momentum and almost winds you for a second.

“Jeez, Buck! Could you throw those any harder?”

“What, is that a Challenge?” He chuckles, adjusting his hat. 

“Uh-” You hesitate, collecting some snowballs and darting in front of your snow wall to run towards Bucky and Sam’s fort, dodging several of Bucky’s attacks but earning a snowball to the arm which you worry will leave a bruise. You throw two for every one he sends your way.

By the time you’ve finished ducking and diving towards the enemy stronghold, both you and bucky have taken a couple hits. Peter and Sam have resorted to wrestling, which doesn’t seem to be going very far. You round the wall to confront Bucky, and try to ignore the kicks and insults the two are throwing at one another in amongst their laughter.

“Okay, ceasefire!” You cry as Bucky prepares to chuck another snowball straight at you, and step forward. “I’ve come to negotiate.”

“You can’t win. We’ve got Pete,” Bucky says, holding his snowball at the ready. You mirror his position with one of your own.

“Yeah, well it seems more like he’s got Sam.” You mutter, glancing past Bucky’s shoulder and smiling when you see Peter flip Sam onto his back.

“Okay, negotiation cancelled. Let’s settle this.” Bucky starts, immediately lobbing his snowball at you and making a dive to tackle you. In the commotion, you manage to lift up his hat to crush your prepped snowball underneath it, which, judging by the string of swear words that follows, Bucky doesn’t appreciate. You laugh as he pulls away to bat the snow from his hair.

“Oh, you’re getting it now!” He mutters, promptly tackling you to the ground. The pair of you roll around in the snow for a second, each trying to get the upper hand. You end up with Bucky directly above you, and try to grab some snow - you reach around and shove it under Bucky’s jacket as best you can. Bucky responds by flipping around so he’s sitting above you, immediately shoving snow under your jacket - it’s freezing, and starts soaking into your jumper within seconds.

“No, no, no, NO!” You move your hands from where they’ve been trying to hold Bucky’s away, and struggle to shove your coat off. It’s flung some distance away, and leaves you free to brush off the frozen snow stuck to your side. Bucky’s laughing, but continuing to put snow on top of you. When he realizes the coat isn’t there to trap the ice against you anymore, he changes tactics, and starts shoving handfuls under your shirt collar. You shriek, the freezing snow melting instantly against your skin and puddling underneath your back. Bucky’s gloves quickly get soaked, and he tosses them aside, trying to pin you so he can shove more snow down the back of your neck instead.

“Just admit you lose!”

“Never!” You laugh, screaming as the second handful of snow is shoved under your jumper. “Ack, wait NO! NOHOHO!” You can’t tell if you’re laughing because of the silliness of the situation or because Bucky’s fingers keep brushing against the skin of your neck.

“Something funny?” He taunts, and you tilt your neck in an attempt to block him, which only traps his hand there.

“It tickles!” You manage to wrestle a hand free to pry his arm away from you, and turn onto your back - but Bucky quickly grabs your wrist and pins you again.

“Oh, does it?”

Shit.

His hand snakes under your partially soaked jumper to squeeze your sides - his fingers are freezing, and you’re immediately thrown into hysterics, kicking and trying to squirm away with very little success.

“Wait, wait NONONONO-” You plea, but Bucky’s not listening. He’s too busy laughing at the havoc he’s wreaking. “DAMMIT- your hands are cohohold! Nohoho!”

“Oh, they’ll warm up. Don’t worry.” His hands dart up and down your sides too fast for you to bat them away; he jumps from drilling his thumbs into your hips to counting your ribs, and then spiders patterns over your neck.

“Please!” It’s too difficult to make sense of the sensation - the only thing you know is that you’re incapable of coping with them gracefully, because Bucky’s not holding back, and you’re pretty sure you can’t laugh much harder than you already are. Although you’re quickly proven wrong when Bucky shifts to better pin you so he can focus on a particularly bad spot that has you cackling. “It tickles!”

“Good.” Bucky snorts. “You surrender yet?”

 “HELP! PETE! PEHETER!”  You tilt your head to your left to look for him. Your comrade has Sam in a headlock. It only takes a fraction of a second for him to be distracted enough by your cry that Sam can turn around and tweak him in the side.

“SAM! No!” You hear him yelp, and soon you’re not the only one dissolving into uncontrollable laughter.

You win some, you lose some, it seems. But at least there’ll be hot chocolate at the end of this battle.

[lanaisnotwool]

411 Income Avalanche

http://moneyripples.com/2020/08/04/411-income-avalanche/

Chris Miles, the "Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor," is a leading authority on how to quickly free up and create cash flow for thousands of his clients, entrepreneurs, and others internationally! He’s an author, speaker, and radio host that has been featured in US News, CNN Money, Bankrate, Entrepreneur on Fire, and spoken to thousands getting them fast financial results.

Listen to our Podcast here:

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/moneyripples/2020/06/25/411--start-an-income-avalanche

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Hello, my fellow Ripplers! This is Chris Miles. Your Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor. And we welcome you guys for a wonderful show. A show that’s for you and about you. Those are that work so hard for your money, and you’re ready for your money to start working harder for you. Now! You want that freedom. You want that cash flow. You want the prosperity. Today. Not 30 or 40 years from now, if you’re lucky, but right now, right? So you can have that freedom to be able to do what you love with those you love. And whenever you want to do it. And you get to work because you want to. Not because you have to. You get to work by choice. You get to have an empowered life. And that’s exactly what we’re here to do. But on top of that, it’s not just for your own prosperity, but this is something for you to create a ripple effect in the lives of others. To be a blessing in the lives of those around you, whether it’s your family, your community, or across the world.

And guys that is the ripple effect. I am here to create in your lives. And thank you so much for your part of it. Thank you for downloading and bingeing and doing everything you guys do. Like I love watching us grow all the time. And that is in large part to you guys. And thank you so much for living the example, not just being here is the word, but doers as well.

Here’s a quick reminder. Check out our website. MoneyRipples.com. You know, not only do we have that great ebook Beyond Rice & Beans, Seven Secrets to Free Up Cash Today. That’s great for you to be able to access and find money quickly. But there’s great blogs on there now too. Including videos of this very show that you can check out. So make sure you go and check that out today.

So today, guys, I want to talk about, you know, really a concept that I’ve referred to on the show, and I’m just kinda throwing out a little sound bites of it. But I want to go in depth of what it really looks like because there’s two really big prevailing mentalities when it comes to money. There’s the accumulation mentality, which is almost what everybody teaches you to do, right? It’s all about net worth is about building up your savings and compounding over time, you know, using that stuff. And I’ll tell you that it doesn’t work. I mean, most of the conventional things are out there. Don’t work. I mean, for example, I mean the stuff I teach is not conventional, right? This is not mainstream. Hey, I’ve been telling you guys to take out key locks. I just had a client thanking me because we actually talked in the beginning of March saying, Hey, you want to get access to that home equity now. And guess what COVID hit, you know, of course it was already hitting by that point. But I said, do you want to get access now? He did it. Then a month, he got the cash out and then he was laid off.

And of course people would think, why would you go into debt and get laid off? Right now, you know what he’s doing? He’s emotionally saying, wow! I never thought it feels so good to know, how did we get 120 grand out of my house that now sitting in savings. And even though he’s got some unemployment coming in, that’s great and they’re doing fine. He’s like, I got this extra cushion of money that is there for whatever, you know, in case something was wrong or even better yet I can invest it and make it work for me. And guys, that’s a very different mentality. And how many are telling you, “Go into debt”, which I’m not telling you, by the way, I’m just saying, Hey, the equity, the assets you have available, let’s leverage it. Right? And so when I talk about money, it’s about acceleration, not accumulation.

It’s not about building up money and saving over time and going the long, hard path that really may or may not get you there because whatever money you do have, you gambled in the stock market, right? I’m not telling you to do that. I’m saying go for things that have real assets, especially create cash flow. I’m about acceleration. Acceleration of using cash flow to keep building. And the constant we talk about today is that Income Avalanche, right? You got the debt snowball method that you hear people talk about. Well, this is the opposite, but it’s income instead. It’s like, how do we get cash flow to keep building upon itself to keep growing exponentially getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. That is what I’m going to talk about today. And so I want to illustrate that. So first let me explain the concept.

What is this that you’ve got a certain amount of assets or money, whatever it might be. Now, some of you guys are in the beginning stages. Some of you might just be at a point where you say, Hey, I need to start building up an emergency fund. Great! Do that. You know, I would recommend going back to the wealth building step-by-step podcast, I did just recently. A great step-by-step showing the order of how you should be doing these things, right? So maybe you’re needing to start out, but I know many of you that are listening are already at the point you have savings. You actually have more savings. The fact you say, Hey, I’ve got money coming in. What do I do with it? Right? What’s next? And so I actually want to bring up an example of someone I just talked to recently, one of you, in fact that had reached out, I was actually connected to them through a turnkey real estate investment company that said, Hey, you’re looking for a financial advisor?

We know a guy who’s not a financial advisor, but will help you do the things that you had hoped a financial advisor would do. And so they referred him to me and in very cool situation. And cause it’s fresh in my mind. I want to use this an example of how this looks, because ultimately what it is, it’s like this exponential curve, your cash flow, your income, your passive income, you know, starts at year one, but it doesn’t just take time to get there. It does take time, but it grows steadily more and more each year until you eventually hit your cash flow goal. And this could feel daunting for some of you because some of you might say, okay, Chris, my goal is 10,000 a month. That’s my cash flow goal. That’s the passive income I want to create. So I work because I want to, not because I have to. But I’m only at 2000 a month or maybe with what I have right now, I could create 2000 a month. We go from 2000 to 10,000. That’s a big gap. How do I get there?

Good news. This is where this comes in.

It does require discipline like anything, right? But I want to show you what my mindset’s like and how I see it differently. Because when they came to me, they said, Hey, we’re starting to get some money in here. You know, more savings than we’ve had for a little while. And what do we do with it? What do we do to make it work for us? And they’ve went to every other financial advisor says, well, you could put it in these mutual funds or maybe put into an annuity. You know, that kind of basic stuff that they’ve told them, right? I said, you know what, what’s your goal? And they said, our goal is 2000 a month. I said, Hey, watch this.

So here’s their situation. They have about 50,000 savings. They are able to cash out somebody from his 401k. He was actually laid off from work or furloughed, right? So as a result, he might get hired back anyways. But as a result because the cares act, you can access up to a hundred thousand dollars of your IRAs or 401k’s without the 10% early withdrawal penalty. So even if you’re not 59 and a half, and these guys are in their late thirties, if you’re not 59 and a half, you can access up to a hundred thousand dollars, without that 10% penalty. You will pay taxes, but at least you’ll avoid the penalty. So as long as you’ve been affected by COVID in some way, shape or form, you know, even if it means you didn’t get the bonuses you usually get, or your income changes or your hours change or something changed, or you got furloughed, that’s the easy one, all those things, right?

So anyways, I say, all right, you got about 50,000 savings. You got some money from your 401k. That’s what you have right now. 401ks that are currently still in them. They’ve got about 284,000. So over 280,000, they just started a Roth IRA with 9,000 in that. They have a rental property. They actually bought a ramp which is probably through this company that referred me. A company I’ve actually had on the show before. In fact, a couple times. That’s cash flowing them 350 a month. By the way, mazing returns, when you consider their out of pocket costs with the down payment and everything, was only 16 grand, but they’re making 350 a month. Guys. That’s like a 26% return. I told them, I was like, Hey, that was a golden property you bought last year. Don’t expect that every time. I just tell people, if you can make 12% return on your money, cash on cash return.

That’s good. So anyways, We make it 350 a month on the property. Cool thing is they don’t have any real extra cash flow because they’re not making as much money, but they’re not in the hole either. They’re actually doing okay. They do get an extra gift of 15,000 a year that they get from family too. That comes from a grandparent’s estate. So that’s kind of cool. Cause that adds to building this income snowball, this income avalanche, right? Now they have credit cards. You see that one here, They’ve got like 8,500 credit cards. They’ve got some student loan, they got an SBA loan. They have a mortgage. I told them all their loans are great, but I would pay off. And this is number one. So I talk about strategy. Again, their cash flow goal is 2000 a month, right? So what the resource they have, they’re thinking, okay, we know it will be awhile before we hit 2000 a month.

You know, we know we’ll be several years down the road. So maybe we’ll just invest, you know, pay the 401k back, keep the money in the 401k, let it grow. You know, we’ll build a Roth and he put a property inside of it. That was kind of their, their thinking, right? And that their cool thing is they’re looking at these creative strategies. I was like, wow, they’re really thinking outside of the box more. And then I saw their situation. I said, you know, but I wouldn’t do any of that. And I said, Hey, this is not a recommendation, by the way, for you guys, anybody looking at this, just cause you see this here, this does not mean this is the recommendation. I said, here’s what I see. I said, first and foremost, with the cash savings you have, I would pay off that credit card because the 8,500 it’s payment is $218 a month.

And they said it was only 10% interest. It’s not a bad interest rate for a credit card. But I said that 218 a month, like if my goal is to make 1% a month on my money. So if I have 8,500 bucks, I would want it to pay me. If I invested, I want to pay me at least $85 a month. So you just drop off the two zeros. If you have 20,000, you want it to pay you 200 a month. If it’s 30,000, pay you 300 a month. If it’s 55,000 pay 550 a month. That’s my goal, right? When I look at investments. But when I look at debt, if I know that I can beat that well, beat that number, you know, 8,500, you’re hoping to maybe make 85 to a hundred bucks in an investment. But if they pay off the credit card, it’s guaranteed 218 bucks a month.

I say, guys, that’s a no brainer. You would want to pay off the credit card. But the rest of the loans, I would leave it alone. They’re actually not that bad. Their monthly payments are pretty low compared to the balance. If you remember my cash flow index formula, I talked about, right? Very good cash flow indexes. They’re high. And so we don’t want to pay those off necessarily. So they just keep paying those like normal. Here’s the other thing and I get, this was not a recommendation, but I said, here’s an option you have, you already started to do it. What if you cashed out your Roth, you know, the 9,000 and then they just barely put it in. So it wouldn’t be a big deal. And if they gained some money, you know, maybe they keep the gains and they have Roth and leave it there. But they could access the 9,000 for the Roth and the 401k.

They’ve got about 284,000. So that’s about $290,000 that they can potentially use. Now in their minds because they’ve been trained like everybody else, don’t touch that money. Right? Don’t touch that 401k. Don’t touch anything. And I said, well, you’re in a position you could potentially touch, you know, access that money. And so I’d say with both of you guys and they have both, you know, either they got furloughed or they quit their jobs recently. So these were 401ks that were accessible. If you work for a company, you may not be able to access your 401k, maybe through a loan, but not often through cashing out. That’s pretty rare you can do. What’s called an inservice distribution. So in their case, they’re both old 401ks, 401ks with old companies that they worked for. So I said, Hey, you could cash that out. Now they have up to $150,000.

They could do total between the two of them. Cause there’s 200,000, you can access without the 10% penalty. So I said, if you do do that, that’s 150,000 and maybe they pull out a little bit more, you know, maybe they pull out the full amount. Maybe they don’t pull out the full amount, right? Maybe they only pull out 240,000 more. You know, maybe they leave 50,000 and whatever, it doesn’t matter. I just told him like, Hey, if you bought 290,000, here’s the thing. You will have about $70,000 in taxes based on their tax brackets and everything. Now companies will likely withhold probably almost 60,000 of it. But I said, Hey, either way, you’re gonna need about 70,000 withholding from tax. That leaves only about 220,000 right? Now, 20,000. That needs to be set aside for emergency fund. Now they already have 50,000 savings. They already got that there.

So of the total, they got, you know, 220,000 plus the 50,000, right? That’s 270, make sure 20,000 is left in their emergency fund. You know, that sort of thing. Now the rest I said, you know, only invest 230. And by the way, this is some stuff. This is easily going deeper than even I told them, I think, at this specific, but I want to illustrate this for you guys as an example. So we took 230,000 of that money. Now, granted, I know actually doing the math currently. We could probably do a little bit more, but Hey, may could be able to do 250,000, but I think 230 is a good conservative number because it leaves a good amount of money in their pockets about 40,000 bucks in their pockets there. And who knows? I said, even with emergency savings, maybe some of that goes into infinite banking policy, right?

Maybe we diversify their savings. At least it’s earning better than point, nothing percent with the bank. Right? So anyways, investing 230,000 for cashflow at 10% is 23,000 a year. We bumped that up to 240, great! Now they’re making 24,000 a year. Now, remember what is this cashflow goal? 2000 month or 24,000 a year. So he could basically do it here. So I get, I just took 230 and making 23,000 a year. I think that’s a good conservative number. There’s several places they could do that. They do real estate. It could be even more, but even if it’s just, you know, like AHP fund, right, the AHP fund that here we talk about, they pay 10% a year. Cool. That’s 23,000 a year. Now, I go to number five on the strategy list here. I say, reinvest this 23,000 of cash flow. So that cash flow they’re getting rather than consuming it, keep it, you know, build up that savings.

And again, it could be put into life insurance or whatever else, but either way, 23,000 plus the 15,000 gifts that they get each year, that’s $38,000. So in their second year they got $38,000. They can now invest again. So with cash flow and everything, investing that, whether it’s, again, AHP, it could be real estate or whatever conservative number adds about $4,000 a year. So now they’re 23,000 becomes 27,000. Right? Now they do it again the next year they take the 27,000 and take the 15,000, from the family gift. This could be true for you guys. Maybe you don’t get a family gift, but maybe you’d get extra cash flow you’ve been saving, putting way. It could’ve been money you put into your 401ks, maybe money that you just have leftover each month. That bigger, that number is the faster this grows, by the way. So anyways, they’re taking that 27,000 plus the 15.

Now that’s $42,000. They have to work with. So that makes 4,500 a year. Again, I think these numbers are very conservative compared to the options that are available. And I even did this in case they couldn’t quite do the real estate options we wanted. I want to make sure this was realistic. Well now their total in year three, jumps up to 31,500. So remember they started at 23,000. Now they’re at 31,500 of cash flow a year. By the way, if you want 31,500 from mutual funds, that means you can’t be pulling out more than about 3% a year. This would mean that the equivalent of this would be like having over a million dollars sitting in a mutual fund that you’re pulling out 3% because we have a million dollars at 3%, you’re pulling out 30,000 a year. They’re already by year three at 31,500, not waiting for age 59 and a half, which is over 20 years away for them. Right?

That’s another thing that’s crazy. Why invest in vehicles that don’t match your objective? You know, why put money in a 401k if you want to retire before 59 and a half, that’s ridiculous. That’s like throwing money away from you. It’s locking up in prison and saying, Oh, sorry. I guess it can’t work for me after all, right? You don’t want that. You want your money working for you. They want them out of prison doing their thing. So already by year three, that’s 31,500. Well guess what? 31,500 plus another 15,000. That’s over 46,000. Maybe now they’re making over 5,000 a year and you could see how this keeps building. You know, that we keep adding more and more on this cash flow side, you know, that keeps growing and adding up, right? Like, so what happens? You keep buying bigger and bigger assets that keeps going, and we’re not talking about selling and repositioning out of properties to buy more because equity growth and everything else that’s beneath the surface.

We’re not talking about the fact that their mortgages are getting paid down too. So what’s happening is we’re taking about, you know, 300,000 or so of their money total, right? In total. Even after paying the tax, a big chunk of that to taxes. And still now it’s got way more cash flow coming in. Then if they had waited however many decades for their money to turn into over a million dollars inside of a 401k. You see what’s happening here? Like this is just speeding up everything. Now it might sound amazing or it might sound too good to be true to some of you. But the truth is that this is something that happens every day. And in many cases, these numbers are better. Again, they can be more conservative, depends on the situation of life, right? And what’s going on, you know, I’ve lately with everything going on with people being furloughed like I’ve had, we’ve had to get pretty creative on finding different investments that are secure for them, but also providing good cash flow.

In fact, even helping provide some income when they don’t have the income coming in, or it’s not the full amount of income they’re used to. And so this is the cool thing, is that even a situation like this really within the first year, and this is what I told them, I said, really, within the first year, guys, you can actually hit your 2000 month goal. They’re like, how? How’s it possible? Well, it’s about finding the resource. Figuring out where the money is. Again, they never really considered that they could use that money elsewhere because you know, everybody does a great job marketing to you telling you don’t touch your 401k money. Don’t touch the equity in your home. Don’t touch these different assets that you have that really could be used to accelerate and even create good, steady streams of income for you.

And just like everything. Cash flow is the real path of freedom. When you have more income coming in than expenses going out, that is true freedom. What happens though is that many of us are taught that it’s about accumulating and compounding and not, you know, not doing anything with your money, you know, just letting other people manage it and try to make money for you. And the truth is that does not happen. You know, first off, most of those managers are, have their hands tied on what they can and can’t do, even though they know better with their funds, they can’t always buy and sell the way they think they should. So they have to think in a very different perspective. And if, again, if you’re lucky, you can take all these high risks in the market to maybe average what, 6% maybe 7%, if you’re really lucky. Longterm, because remember the real rate of return of the S and P 500 last 30 years has been seven and a half percent, not 10 or 12, seven and a half, right?

So you’re taking all this high risk of all these ups and downs and try to be in it for the long haul and delaying your gratification, delaying any real life, especially when you’re alive, right? All the stuff that’s happening and what’s can actually happen in truth is not an accumulation type of model. That’s been proven to take way too many years for your life to make it really truly work in a good way to create freedom. And then instead do an acceleration model, which is about cash flow. Passive income now.

So guys, that’s the thing I want to share with you is that, this the stuff I see day in and day out, this is the stuff that oftentimes people can consider. Maybe their mind starts to play with it. And then they retract again because it’s uncomfortable or it’s unknown. And they don’t know where to go.

Guys. There is places you can find good returns. You can actually take control of your financial life, not turn it over to somebody else and hope and pray. They do something with it, but have real control of your money. Take less risks. Get regular, stable, steady income from your money, get your money working for you now. So you work because you want to not because you have to. That’s what this is really all about, right? It’s about creating that legacy, creating that ability to create a ripple effect through the lives of others. And imagine what you could do for your family and what you can create for generations beyond you. Even it’s changing their mindset, how their lives can be so much better than your own by doing and teaching and living by example, this very thing.

Guys, this is the reason why I’m teaching you this stuff. This is why it’s so exciting for me. This is why I left being a financial advisor because when I saw what was possible, being a financial advisor sounded stupid. This is why I couldn’t do that anymore. That’s why I had to leave the industry in 2006. And I’m telling you the last 14 years, man, there are some amazing ways to create good solid cash flow. But it does require patience. Requires discipline. It requires you to do everything we can to minimize that risk. So anyways, guys, this is something that you think is good for you. You can always shoot me an email, Chris@MoneyRipples.com and say, Chris, how’s this apply in my life? But right now, guys, I hope this just expands your mind to realize this income avalanche can become something amazing and truly profitable for you. I hope we make it a wonderful and prosperous week and we’ll see you later.

[we-golden]

What you wanted.

Not NSFW. Just a bit sexy. Random drabble.

Inspired by “For All the Lovesick Mad Sad Geniuses,” and that one (1) gif above. It sounds better if you read it in his voice in your head.

...

A whisper. That’s all it takes. It’s the final of many elements accumulated over time, the snowball effect in full motion. A whisper, a lingering gaze. Salacious tones of voice, piercing looks. I always thought of eyes as sensual. Tantalising mirrors, mane not to touch, but to admire. And even though the images of your body kept on flooding my mind, your curves and creases, smoother than the words which leave your lips only to paralyse my senses, it’s your eyes that I kept staring into. You always were so daring; it was all a tactical game for you. To see how long it would take me to break. To see how long I could stand merely eye fucking you before I’d lose control, and crave more. Take more.

I know you found it excruciating. I saw the way you shifted in your seat, crossed your legs lightly, in a weak attempt to tame your growing desire. Everyone in the room understood what’s going on.

And then you whispered. “Meet me in the hall... Two minutes. Don’t make me wait.” You surrendered. My daring love, I would’ve surrendered if you didn’t.

I didn’t let you talk. I had to feel your lips on mine, and I wouldn’t wait. That temperament of mine. One rushed decision, and down go the dominoes. Shallow breaths, slightly reddened skin. Hazed thoughts, albeit one thing was clear.

I had to have you.

I loved seeing you like that. Slightly dismantled, lingering around me with a lazy smirk perched upon your lips. My territorial marks apparent on your neck with shameless glory, sentimental evidence of our little rendezvous.

Things were far from over. It was not enough to satisfy our needs. My lips still craved to taste yours. I know you wanted to be entranced in the sensation I could give you. “My darling, don’t be shy,” I told you. “Tell me what you want.”

When I close my eyes, I can still feel your skin beneath my fingertips. Your body covered only by my shirt, the material loosely clinging to your figure. Your smile so bright. But that night, it was illuminated by the glistening light of the stars above.

You looked so beautiful.

I held you from behind. You stole my shirt, I had to stay warm somehow. I knew that it wouldn’t stay on you for long, anyway. I wanted you to relieve the sensations that scattered your own clothes on the ground in the first place. And it was my turn to whisper. I repeated the praises, so well deserved.

You slipped out of my embrace. Only to start dancing. You know I loved it when you danced. I couldn’t wait, it didn’t take me too long to join you.

“Careful with that little dance,” I whispered, my body beginning to sway to the rhythm with yours. “You’re putting ideas in my head.”

But that’s exactly what you wanted. You always got what you wanted. Did what you wanted. And now that you left, I can’t help but wonder.

Why didn’t you want to stay a little longer?

[suzzblhgfdsbjkjds]

Ive been inspired to write my thoughts and experiences on depression.

Thing is that it's a silent killer. You don't really realize you're depressed untill everything around you changes. You change most drastically than everything else. It has an accumulative effect, it snowballs itself into fruition and by the time you start to notice that something ain't right it's been not right for a whole lot of time. Depression, something I often am uncertain of,do I really have it? Because I've been like this for a really long time, I'm not sure if I'm not just that kind of person now or whatever is going on, I rly don't have a way of comparison, I just remember that I was happy somewhere along the line of my life, but I can't recall the feeling. And by happy I mean fine, or okay. Not necessarily 'happy' but the opposite of miserable and empty. I guess I should call it peace. You lose yourself, you lose your interests, you lose your reason for existence. When it was at it's peak I slept from dusk till dawn, I skipped lectures, I failed classes, I didn't workout anymore, I didn't do anything besides sleep. And that itself creates a ground for depression to sink it's roots into. It's autotrophic in the way that it makes you create your misery and then feeds itself out of it, making itself even more impactful.

Depression is like onions as Shrek would say. It has layers and it's problematic in many different ways that compliment each other at the same time, you can't tackle one and expect it not to reappear if you shift your focus on the others. Its doubt in everything, and I did that, I doubted my friends, my family and myself, it's also fuel for every insecurity, it makes them grow a thousand times, it zooms into them, it makes communication so bad, because even the thought of speaking to someone about it is overwhelming.

Something that breaks a person is the fact that this is who you are now, you ain't going back. In my case I won't be going back to my previous plan of education, I won't be the same personality, I won't bring back the words I've told different people, I can't rewind the traumatic experiences, I can't delete the memories and thoughts about permanent solutions, I can't get rid of the eye shadows, the coping mechanisms i developed, the hairs I ripped out.

But the worst of it all is that it never goes away. Even if you get better, even if you're hanging in and you're progressing you're just one dead relative, one failed exam, one rejection, one quarrel with a family member or a friend, one of something triggering and you're back in there. Like it never left, and it didn't.

Yes it gets better, but you've got an anchor on your leg, you just wait till you get to the deeper ends of the sea again.

No one really has the power to help you, only to support you while you help yourself, it's a one man/woman journey and you gotta understand that, because I've been relying on people to heal me, and that makes relationships toxic and you lose your loved ones, you don't win the battle that way.

The number one tip I could give is to just focus on the current, the sounds right now, the light or darkness around you, the air in your space, don't dwell in your mind, it's intoxicated and will lie to you, and it WILL convince you to believe in things normally you would never agree with. You happen to have the enemy inside you , and the trick is to not take it out along with yourself. You start to self destruct and that's a strange opiate which I can't out with words but it's common and you should avoid things with lasting damage. You'll feel better destroying yourself in that moment, but when the moment passes you're left with the scars of whatever you've done to yourself, not necessarily talking about physical scars.

But let me tell you, there is good in every bad, light in every darkness. You'll become stronger by the time, you'll learn how to handle it more and more and you'll know how to help other people, you'll empathize a lot easily, you'll appreciate the smaller things , even the things you never saw before.

Depressed people have that unspoken connection between each other, they really understand what just can't be put into words or logic. That don't mean they can help each other, but it does give the perspective that you're not really alone, even tho it feels pretty lonely locked inside your own head.

I wish everyone going through this to make it out alive and well. They truly are special, like all people, magic and blessing in this universe they are.

You can't really knock depression out, you can't kill it, but what you can do is make yourself stronger to endure it's punches and do the things that wouldn't let it develop further.

[bentonluna]

10 Steps to Attract the Life You Want

By Heather Mathews Author of Manifestation Miracle

“What you seek is seeking you.” - Rumi If I told you that you could create the exact type of circumstances you want, would you call me crazy? What if your very thoughts could create ripples of change that not only impact your life… …but those around you as well? Philip, a call center worker from the Philippines certainly didn't think so. He dreamed of moving overseas so he could secure a better life and provide for his family. But at every turn, his own mind shut down every opportunity he thought of. For instance, Philip considered seeing an immigration consultant, but he either “didn't have the time” or “couldn't afford it��. So, he resented his situation and cursed himself (and the world) for his “bad luck”. He didn't realize that the real culprit was his mindset - not his circumstances. And it seemed like the more he ruminated, the more bad things happened. Thus, he kept feeding the cycle of being stuck in a rut and feeling bad, trapping him even more. That was, until his aunt Sara introduced him to the Law of Attraction. Turning the tide Before she moved to California, Sara had been close with Philip and treated him like a son. She had her own share of struggles finding greener pastures abroad, but she applied the principles from the Law of Attraction to overcome them. So she sent a few books on the topic to Philip through Amazon so he could gain the clarity to turn his life around. Click Here To Discover the Lazy Person's Secret To Get Everything You've Ever Wished For  At first, Philip didn't really think much of it, but he decided to read through the books since his aunt went through the trouble of sending it over. After he started applying the lessons he learned from the material, things started to change for him. It came as a complete shock to Philip - he never thought in a million years that making a simple shift in his thinking could have such a direct and POWERFUL impact in his life. And soon enough, the fog of negativity and despair around Philip lifted and he found a way to make his dreams happen. Through his persistence, he was eventually able to borrow the money he needed for the consultation fees, and learned the step-by-step process to get work overseas. Philip was finally able to find a fulfilling and rewarding career in Australia. Not only does he get to support his family back home, he also made friends and enjoys his new life abroad. Just a few months ago, Philip's parents started their own business, thanks to his help. At the rate they're going, his family could save enough so they can pass on their business to another relative and follow Philip to Australia. ould wait for Philip to take the offer so they can move there instead. Whatever option Philip chooses, the possibilities for him are almost limitless. But he's just one of thousands who made the Law of Attraction to work for him. Like Philip, a lot of people are initially discouraged to try because they think it takes a lot of work. But the reality is that it's surprisingly easy to get started. You just need to follow these 10 Super Simple Steps to Attract Everything You've Ever Wanted: Step #1: A little gratitude goes a long way The first thing you should learn about the Law of Attraction is that it operates on energy. YOUR energy, to be exact. Everyone has a different kind of energy they bring into the world, and it affects them in ways they often don't see or appreciate. The secret lies in the FREQUENCY of a person's energy - and you need to raise yours in order to change your life. Think of your unique energy as a sort of gas that fills the space of your reality. Whatever “gas” or “energy” you pump out into your immediate space will define your existence. Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, said this in his book, “Man's Search for Meaning”: “To draw an analogy: a man's suffering is similar to the behavior of a gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore the "size" of human suffering is absolutely relative.” So if you want to invite great things into your life, you need to set the stage first. And you can do that by leading with the right energy. That's why being grateful and appreciating what you have is powerful way to re calibrate your frequency. Most folks hold off on feeling this way for AFTER they get what they want. But that's putting the cart before the horse, as the saying goes. When you LEAD with gratitude, it will act as the precedent for everything good that follows. Click Here To Discover the Lazy Person's Secret To Get Everything You've Ever Wished For  What I like to do is start of my day by making a list of things that I'm grateful for. If I miss anything, I save it for later and update my list at the end of my day. And when I go over my list during the weekend, I'll see exactly how much good stuff I've accumulated. This creates a kind of snowball effect and helps me attract even MORE good stuff down the road. Step #2: Be generous This can be a challenge for some people if they feel like there isn't enough to go around. But if you take the initiative to SHARE whatever you can without asking anything in return… … you'll generate the kind of energy that attracts prosperity for everyone… …including YOU. Again, this is the Law of Attraction at work. Try offering your time, talents and material wealth to those who need it - you'll soon invite blessings without even trying. Step #3: Visualize your future What I find amazing about kids is how powerful their imaginations are. When they role-play with other children, you can see in their eyes how REAL their games are to them. This is something that's lost on grown-ups, and it's important to recapture that ability to envision the kind of reality you want. The Universe likes to play games with us- the better you are at visualizing, the more you'll be rewarded. Like I said, a certain type of energy attracts a certain kind of reality. So if you focus your energy and thoughts on that dream job you want or the car you've always wanted to drive, you'll raise your frequency to ATTRACT those exact things. Step #4: Let the negativity pass When the bad times roll in and you feel like dirt, sometimes it's better to step aside and let it run its course. Having negative thoughts and emotions are totally normal, but you don't always have to wrestle with them. You can simply acknowledge what's going on in your inner world - then CHOOSE to keep moving forward anyway. Let this negative energy pass through your system like bad case of gas. The sooner you let it do its thing, the quicker you can get back to what you were doing. (Sorry for the fart analogy, but it get the point across, doesn't it?) Step #5: Never stop growing It's good to have a daily routine in your life, but not at the expense of your personal development. Most people are so set in their ways that they're afraid of the thought of doing something new. Then they complain about their humdrum lives, or that some folks “have all the luck.” Breaking out of your comfort zone is never an easy thing, but it's a step worth taking. No matter how loaded your schedule is, find some chunks of time to do things that will help you grow. Whether it's taking an online course, joining a community, or taking up a hobby, this is a powerful way to attract new and exciting things in your life. Step #6: Avoid the “toxic” crowd There are people who seem hell-bent on pulling others into their world of misery. Whether they're trying to lessen their own pain or simply enjoy doing it, you need to steer clear of them. Instead, choose people who will have the opposite effect on your psyche. Not only does a person's energy attract circumstances, it's also CONTAGIOUS. So make sure you hang out with the people who'll inspire you to achieve greater things - and not bring you down with apathy or inaction. Click Here To Learn How to Force the Universe to Manifest Your Dream Life  Step #7: Give yourself permission to succeed Most of the world's most brilliant people were put down in some way. Somewhere along the way, someone told them they'd “never make it” or were “destined to fail.” In your own life, certain people have tried to discourage you in some way. They might have tried putting you down when you were growing up - or it could have been last week. It doesn't matter. What's important is that you understand that NO ONE can put labels on you. And more importantly, they can NEVER give you permission to achieve what you want in life. You need to do that for yourself. Don't let their words define your “story”. You don't have to fit whatever petty narrative they're trying to force on you. Step #8: Affirm who you are Instead of feeding into the lies that people tell you, let this be the day to start living your truth. Create statements that embody the truth you choose to be, AND to live in. People do this all the time. When Elon Musk tried to launch the world's first privately owned rocket and failed, he told himself, “I'm going to try again, and I WILL get that thing into orbit.” (Well, maybe not exactly like that, but you get the point.) And so his company SpaceX went back to the drawing board and got it right after the third attempt. Elon affirmed his truth and it manifested into reality. In the same way, you can choose to affirm whatever truth applies to you. Be honest with yourself and acknowledge the things that TRULY matter to you. You know it, and the Universe knows it. The key is to repeat it yourself every day. For example, if you know deep in your heart that you want to make a better life for yourself, you can say something like this: “I may be struggling right now, but I know deep inside that I have what it takes to improve my life. I see myself transforming into a happier, wealthier person who makes other people's lives brighter.” When you operate from even the tiniest shred of truth, you can grow that into a powerful force over time. Step #9: Fail spectacularly Here's something most people don't know about the Law of Attraction: before you can enjoy success and find true happiness, you need to crash and burn. It's better to go after what you want and risking failure rather than playing it safe and not trying at all. To create order in your life, you'll have to embrace the chaos that comes before it. This is where you'll find the real lessons, even if they hurt a little. (Or in some cases, a LOT). Think of yourself as the beautiful Phoenix, like in the legends. Imagine burning off bits and pieces of yourself that you don't need. As you rise from the ashes, you're reborn into a NEW YOU. That's evolution. It may be an imperfect and unpleasant process, but the results are worth it. Step #10: Remove your BIGGEST barrier to success People don't realize that their greatest roadblock is none other than their own mindset. They may say they want something to happen, but don't REALLY mean it. For instance, someone might want to lose weight, but they don't want it bad enough. Worse, they might not actually believe they can shed those pounds. A part of them refuses to acknowledge the faintest possibility of it happening. This is pretty much why people NEVER attract the things they want in life. In order to remove this barrier, you'll need to change something inside you. You need to dig deep and understand WHY you don't want it as much as you say you do. Are you scared of suffering through the process of getting what you want? This is what turns most people off - they simply can't process the discomfort involved with growing up. At the same time, you need to deal with the reasons why you think that your desired reality is impossible. It could be some deep-seated beliefs brought about by past events, or experiences growing up. Once you sort this out, you'll be free to do what you want without any pre-programmed beliefs holding you back. Now, these ten steps we just talked about will get your foot in the door. Once you start doing them regularly, you'll experience remarkable breakthroughs you didn't think were possible. But if you want to witness even MORE changes on a massive (or even cosmic) scale, you need to check out my FULL course called Manifestation Miracle. Like the name suggests, I enjoyed nothing short of a life-changing revolution not too long ago. In a lot of ways, my situation was the same as Philip's. I worked myself to the bone and felt unfulfilled. I was trapped in my soul-crushing career. Even though I needed the money, I HATED having to put up a hollow appearance of a happy, successful businesswoman. But then I discovered how turn my mind into a magnet for prosperity and abundance… Learn how I unlocked the secret to ATTRACTING anything AND everything I wanted - CLICK HERE to watch the video now…

[spacemilkies]

Bart Allen x reader

summary: He’d ran to the past purely by the determination to unselfishly prevent the future from fallling into ruin.

For that for that act of valor, wasn’t he allowed this one selfish want ?

Notes: It took me awhile to come up with something. Sorry for the lateness. Here’s a little snippet drabble thing.

When he’d first appeared he wasn’t quite sure who was more surprised. Naturally he managed to send the premature flock of superheroes into a mild panic.

That wasn’t entirely intentional. So far into the future calculations were somewhat accurate at best. Nathaniel had planned for the when, but the where was more abstract in nature.

So yes, Bart was equally as astonished to not only find the machine in working order but to find himself at the center control panel of Mount Justice?

Now that was crash.

All his idols were in attendance.

The creative and instinct driven Beast Boy.

The premature and determined Robin.  

And oh man, the notorious Nightwing in the flesh.

And then there was you.

For a moment Bart wished for nothing more than looser suit to drag away the spandex from red itch crawling up his neck. The poster on his wall had depicted you as an older hero, matured in both your talents and prowess. But there had been plenty of opportunities for him to imagine what it might have been like to fight beside you.

Share the excitement and spoils of victory.

If only he’d been born a few decades earlier.

If only you hadn’t-

The time capsule hero jerked in response,“Careful now, watch the claws!”

As part of the infamous Allen lineage, all speedsters relied on that split second decision where time slowed to their advantage.

It separated life from death.

Freedom from capture.

“Now that would have not been crash. Seriously Robin ? I have your action figure man. “

Bart shook a non threatening fist from his perch atop the massive screen. He’d narrowly managed to avoid quick shot of cable. The young hero hadn’t even been aware of his speed inclement yet smartly chose to go after his legs.

He couldn’t put it past the detective.

It was obvious that his window of opportunity would have dwindled. During his fanboy episode the startlement had worn off.

And now he was outnumbered.

… yet still a little crash.

Yeah, he expected to feel the mode shortly after.

But damn did he enjoy going head to head with the best of the best.

Sure, they were still in their youth and nothing compared to what they would be in the future but damn wasn’t it still a thrill.

No one could blame him for at least attempting to shift out of the bindings. His vibrations only managed to encourage the current Robin to tighten the ropes further.

Bart wasn’t entirely certain that he hadn’t taken a bit of pleasure in the act.

“You’re from the future? Ha, right dude.”

Bart’s attention whipped over to the green meta human, taking in the distinctively furry texture of his skin. Funnily it had been a small detail the cameras managed to miss when capturing his likeness.

“Oh man, Beastboy if only I could get started on you.” Unfortunately, Bart had seen enough movies depicting the consequences of speaking so openly about what was to come.

No, he would need to be sensible here.

Regardless of how easy it would be to drag these chump- eh- heroic deities.

“Look, no hard feelings. I’m one of you!” His hand twitched from the desire to bring it to his chest in emphasis. “ Name’s Bart Allen. You know, of the Barry Allen legacy? Really, the speed should have been an indicator.”

Among the skeptical faces it was yours he kept darting to the most. He couldn’t help it. You were just so young and so here.

And right in front-

Oh well … was right in front of him before Robin had taken the initiative to cut in between, effectively severing the point of contact.

Bart would have been more baffled had he not understood the root of the protective stance.

It didn’t help that bat family was incredibly rich.

They just had to be eligible bachelors to boot.

Speaking of the family, where had the older bat flown off to?

“Dude if you’re honest we can figure this out. And then you can go.”

Bart tried extremely hard not to roll his eyes but it was painful. The littlest bat really needed to brush up on his interrogations. The summation of this little group was only the junior leagues.

Once he really got started talking they were going to have to draw out the majors.

“What if he is? It wouldn’t be the craziest thing to happen here,” your voice trilled over silence.

Okay, maybe crossing spacial dimensions was a little different but it was the future! He obviously shared some connection to the Flash- grandson did he say?

All you were saying is that you couldn’t rule out the impossible without considering the possibility.

Your gaze flickered uncertainly to the bulky machine sitting like a quiet observer.

Beside you Robin scuffed I’m firm disbelief. Granted it too a lot to get the junior detective to think outside of the realm of possible. You were starting to think he was being a bit close minded.

The two of them had barley known one another for twenty minutes and you could already feel the bad blood thrumming under the veins. It was obvious that Bart knew something they didn’t but was it so inherent that Tim would react out of instinct ?

“Not you too,” he groaned. He caught your eyes from the side. “A tourist ?”

Okay, that was an odd thing to call oneself given the situation. It was hard to determine what was more concerning.

That fact that a kid would travel so lightheartedly into the past without considering the consequences or how easily accessible it was for him to do so.

Beastboy settles his arms across his chest,”I don’t know man. I mean, yeah, I’m green but from the future? That’s a little crazy.”

“Batman will deal with him,” Tim reasoned under his breath.

As subtly as you could, you reached for him, finger tips just skimming the callouses of his own. While his face didn’t portray emotion, your loose grip tingled with the ripple of calm you were trying to make mutual.

Unbeknownst to you, the red haired speedster followed the minuscule movement with a grimace.

“Easy, Robin. If he travel from the future he must have accumulated quite the thirst. Barry’s grandson, right? That’s quite the journey.”

Bart watched Nightwing with interest as he reapplied with a glass of water in hand. Bringing his tied hands up, he accepted it with a shallow nod. He was a little thirsty but more in the lack of proper clean water kind of way and less of a time travel exhaustion.

It wasn’t until he’d taken a few sips before the subtle insinuation of the offer became apparent.

Now he was realizing how one graduated out of the Robin role.

“Ah, you’re not really worried about the culprit. You just want this.” Bart probably added more of the wanted specimen than necessary when he spit heartily into the glass much to the grimaced disgust of some of the observers. “There you go. Authentic DNA of the Allen family. Just don’t go cloning anyone.”

His gaze widened comically at the thought. “Oh man, that’d be so crash though. Surely Dick Grayson could figure out the proper cloning sequence. Just ask Connor.”

It had started off as a joke and tumbled horridly into a snowball effect after that. What could he say? Once he got started talking, it was just downhill from there.

To say the hero was affronted would be putting it off lightly.

“I know all of you guys? Future guy remember ?”

He gestured to each member individually.

“Dick Grayson.”

“Garfield Logan.”

“Newly appointed Robin, Tim Drake.”

And then there was you. Your eyes were already comically wide by this point as if already knowing your fate.

It didn’t matter really. He was immediately overshadowed by Beast- Garfield was who didn’t find it very crash to be the last one to get he knowledge party.

By the end of it all, he’d left the heroes more confused than the moment he’d arrived.

His ride had unfortunately arrived before he alleviate some of their obvious worries. The tell tale sound of the dimensional portal gate called out the name of another rememberable hero, but he was already shaking past the restraints before the computer could finish the introduction.

Besides he had his own history to change.

And somehow managed to alter his own future in the midst of it.

With the current Flash properly save and hopefully alive in his future, he was more than ready to return to a brighter more lively lifestyle.

When he returned, you were all better prepared for his arrival. Not so much for the older man that ‘Impule’ had hastily referred to as his great grandfather with no little excitement and current Flash and Kid Flash in tow.

It was like a backwards family reunion.

Nightwing’s analytical results had proved the impossible, well possible. Bart Allen was a direct descendant of the Allen family.

The red haired future superhero seemed to take the news with the strongest stride, not doubting his truth for a second. Part of you felt for him, this had to be his only chance to properly meet the senior Flash.

Regrettably, the meeting was cut relatively short as his urge to go home out ran the present desires. He was still an erratic variable of the future and had no place here.

A few hugs were exchanged amongst family, the current leagued Flash expressing his anticipation on meeting him again in a proper timeline.

You found yourself longing for the same. Eager to see his origin and watching the child become what you’d witnessed today.

“Well this has been crash, but gotta run.”

God, were you not looking forward to the puns though. A mutual groan rumbled amongst the gathered crowd in agreement.

Impulse had nearly disappeared into the awaiting machine before his body staled as if forgetting something. After saving the life of a hero you couldn’t imagine what other time altering event he could have on his agenda.

Then his gaze locked with yours.  

Your hair fluttered behind you from the sharp gust of wind from, a noise of shock barely escaping your lips before his swallowed it down.

Somewhere behind you the sound of Tim’s shock tried to reach you but it was lost to the soft press of lips molding against your own.

Then it was over.

And you were left wading in a pool of soft baby blues.

“Oh man, I wish you could have married me instead of Drake.”

And left you stranded.

“Now I should really get going. Be nice to me in the future!”

He raced back to the machine with a sloppy salute, before sliding inside the machine. The only sound it gave was a clank of metal as the latch sealed.

And then the silence stretched on for several seconds.

“Isn’t he supposed to be in the future by now,” Garfield asked unhelpfully.

“He better be.” You felt Tim appear at your back, his growl echoing a darker intent.

There was a drawn out groan, as the metal protested the slow opening of the door. It was likely the slowest you’d ever seen and of the speedsters move as Bart reluctantly stepped out of the machine.

Something told you he wouldn’t be returning home anytime soon.

A sheepish smile pulled at his lips as his gaze darted across the room.  

“Anyone else feeling the mode?”

[excathedras]

Hold Onto Your Butts: I’m Coming Out

     Oftentimes, when I look back at myself, it seems like who I am now is the product of a coalition of different people all taking control of my life for different periods of time. Who I am now and who I once was are, at times, unrecognisable, though a number of central things about me remain. I can remember writing stories when I was six years old, imagining characters and a world vastly different from my own. I have pictures of myself in a purple velvet leotard at ballet, and in pink lipgloss at my first orchestra concert playing in an elementary school cafeteria. These are the big ones that come to mind, but sometimes, it is very difficult for us to look back and understand how the smaller things have snowballed over time. For me, these include trust issues that have accumulated from constant moves, a changing world, and the selfishness of humanity that seems so new to me. Another one is my adoration of classics, which began during the Scholastic Book Fair at my school, when my English had finally gotten good enough to read the popular “Goddess Girls” series, which has led me, almost a decade later, to pursue that sort of thing as a career. 

     Some things, however, are even more difficult to understand, let alone recognise. With the increasing attention of the general public to the inner workings of the LGBT community, especially with understanding gender on a global stage, this allows a place for a personal reflection of my own self and how I feel and how I want to be perceived and, in some ways, how happy I am with the body I was born into. For me, those questions have been incredibly difficult to answer. The way I see them and myself has changed many times over the years, and, though it seems backwards, has become more confusing to me the more I learn about what gender truly is and how I choose to define it for myself. 

    When I was little, my hair didn’t grow much. It is wild, Greco-African, and my white adopted mom had no idea what to do with it, so we left it to it’s own design, and it made like unkempt undergrowth. In my second grade class, I remember my teacher splitting the class in groups or halves in different ways, sometimes by eye colour, birth month, patronymic name, and, occasionally, length of hair. In that case, all of the girls were on one side, and all of the boys, plus myself, were on the other. My mother complained to the school once I asked her if that made me a boy, or less of a girl. What I couldn't articulate at the time, and haven’t been able to until recently, is that I never saw it as a degrading or empowering thing. It is just how things were and just who I was, and I didn’t think more of it than a cisboy about being a boy or a cisgirl about being a girl.

     There are hours, days, months, where I feel trapped in my own body, out of place distinctly not who I am. I look at government forms and don’t know how to label myself. I see transmen’s transition diaries and I wish that could be me. I look at ancient statues of men both virile ( The Antinous Braschi ) and dumpy ( any visual art of Socrates ) and I know that I would be happy with bodies like theirs. My schedule of ballet classes includes classes with the men just as they do pointework. I think of men, and I include myself. Yet, at the same time, I take a lot of pride in my femininity and the parts of me that are distinctly womanly, whether they be from my physical self or from within. There is power in me that comes from feeling effeminate, and the history of women is something that instills a great sense of identity and belonging in me. A great part of me takes solace in my desire to be masculine and in the ways that I am masculine. Another part of me is quelled by my feelings of femininity. This is all well and good, and many people can relate, but the issue is that these parts are not created equal, not all the time, and the presence of both is dominating in my scholastic, artistic, natural, and spiritual life. 

     For so long, I thought of transgenderism as an ensnaring commitment for me, in which fulfilling my view of myself as a man meant that I would have to sacrifice my femininity, or to stay a woman would mean lying and suppressing a large part of me for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to do either, so I ignored it. Which, as it turns out, is also not a great thing to do. I faced a manic number of years going through reinventions and obliterations of myself as I tried to force myself into a binary I knew would never make me happy. I bullied myself with the words of ignorant people with my own form of “self - help conversion therapy”. I told myself it was a phase. I told myself I was just doing it for attention. I told myself that I was making this all up, and that there are only two genders, and that I was between the phase of committing to being a transgender man or just staying a woman. I told myself to just settle for what I have because I’m beautiful and because it’s easier to just stay put and that it’s safer to stay put, and that, if I’ve already lasted this long ignoring these strange wills, I can live the rest of my life like this too.

     I found myself a few months ago taking a myriad of “Am I Transgender?” and “What Should My Gender Be?” and “Am I Nonbinary?” quizzes, as if cisgender people need to validate their gender so many times. The last time I did something like that, I was asking if I was a lesbian, and here I am, a decade later, still liking women. For some reason, I didn’t (or more accurately wouldn’t) put those pieces together. I would lie on some of the tests, seeing two answers for each question. One answer described, albeit shallowly, how I felt. The other answer was perfectly how I wanted myself to feel. One allowed for dynamic personality and the room for me to feel comfortable, and the other sought to place me in a box. Some tests came back saying I was distinctly male or distinctly female, and these were only a temporary comfort. Some tests came back saying that I exist out of the gender binary. And somewhere along the way, I figured that lying to myself or denying myself was no longer going to get me the answers that I wanted, so I started to research. 

     Instead of telling myself that I was nothing more than an attack helicopter who would never be taken seriously, I started reading articles and hoping that they would reassure me, in a healthy way, that I was simply cisgender and trying to protest societal norms. Considering this post, I’m sure you can assume that the effect they had on me what the exact opposite of that. Instead, they taught me about the history of gender across numerous societies and its presence in nature, as well as what gender means in a practical sense, and how to find what it means in a self - centric sense. As strange as this sounds, the most prominent and most important thing that my research gave me is validation in my confusion. I hardly understand how I identify myself; there is no word to encompass me and my identity entirely, but, in real life, there are no labels like that. We have broad ones, such as being transgender, being a student, being an American, but those experiences are different and beautifully undefined (You may have noticed an influx in my use of this word in my writing, in fact, as it has shifted for me from being something to be afraid of to something take refuge in.) for everybody. I don’t have all the answers about myself, but nobody has the answers for themselves either. To want to conquer those mysteries is to not want to enjoy youth, or enjoy life, or enjoy the intricacies of humanity and the human experience as a whole. 

     Some days are better than others, some days are filled with confidence and pride in my diverse self, and others have me feeling out of place and lost. The hardest step in this journey has been being able to come out to myself. I had a very distinct idea of who I was, and deviating from that and re-examining that meant being unsure and admitting that I am not as strong as I like to present myself as. I revel in the good days, and in the bad days, I remind myself that I should be happy with my confusion and my vulnerability; I am too dynamic and too broad to ever fit in a box. I don’t know how I define being nonbinary yet, but I have a long time to figure it out. And in the meantime, I know where I belong, I know who my friends are, I know where I want to go, and I know who I want to be, and that’s more than enough for me. <3

TL;DR

     I would like it if you referred to me with they / them pronouns and any variation on the name Frankie you want. Gendered terms of endearment like “gal”, “bitch”, or “bro” are just fine. I’m begging you not to treat me any differently akdakjdsa

[jack-kellys]

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE DAAAAAY!!!

here's a fic for the holidays that will make up for @suddenly-im-respecsable's and @papesdontsellthemselves's angst

———

a snow party for the rest of our lives

words: 1800ish a bit more

warnings: cursing, nsfw jokes, its race guys

———

“Can we open any?”

“No.”

“Pleeease?”

“Race, you are a grown-ass man and you still use that tone with me?”

Albert slumped forward as he felt Race drape himself across his back with a long sigh.

“Albie, how am I not supposed to think about presents for an entire day?” Race asked, fitting his chin in the crook of Albert’s shoulders.

“Well,” Albert considered, bringing Race’s arms around his stomach. “Know how it snowed last night?”

He felt Race nod, his gold curls tickling his neck.

“You know how a lot of people are away or inside, too?”

Race nodded again.

“Then do you wanna…have a snow party in Central Park?” Al smirked.

Race let out a long gasp at the prospect, making Al laugh. Exactly the reaction he wanted from Race.

“Uh how about abso-fuckin-lutely?” Race beamed. “Acting like we’re ten years old on Christmas Eve day is an immediate yes.”

Albert kissed Race’s temple, then hooked his hands under Race’s legs and hoisted him onto his back, making Race laugh—and Albert’s heart melt—and kiss the back of Albert’s neck as he carried them to their room. He dumped Race on their bed and went to his dresser, pulling out clothes for Race.

“I can pick my own shit, Al, what,” Race laughed.

“No, you can’t, cause you never put enough on, and I’m not letting you get frostbite,” Albert countered. Race shrugged in agreement, putting on what Albert picked as Al went to go get changed himself.

Soon enough, the two were both bundled up and ready to go. Albert couldn’t stop smiling at Race, with his soft blue scarf matching his eyes like that.

“You look adorable,” Albert said, rather shyly. Race blushed, leaning down the slightest amount to kiss Al’s forehead.

“So do you, beanie boy. Now let’s go!”

•••

Race practically pranced around the streets as it started to snow again, spinning whenever there was enough space on the sidewalk. Albert couldn’t stop smiling—Race had this special naivety about some things that made something in Albert’s chest bubble with happiness. He couldn’t imagine never feeling that way again.

“Albie, c’mon! We’re almost there,” Race grinned behind himself, practically skipping the last steps into the park.

“I know this was my own idea, but Jesus, man, you’re like, five,” Al huffed.

“No, I’m twenty-five and having a good fucking time! You should try it,” Race said with a cheeky smile, making Albert roll his eyes.

They walked a few steps inside, taking in the trees laced with white, the air filled with the silent beauty of snow.

“I forgot how amazing it was this time of year,” Race breathed, a serene expression on his already pale face, eyelashes adorned with snowflakes.

Albert’s eyes were only on Race, watching his excitement with a full heart. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, really amazing…” he said softly.

And just like that, the moment was over, Race looking at Albert with mischief in his eyes. “Do you wanna build a-“

“Yes, but no singing that or I’ll literally punch you so hard you’ll miss Christmas,” Albert said with a straight face, zipping up his pockets so nothing would come out of them. Race gave a singular nod in return, his lips pressed together before laughing. He knelt down to the snow, packing a small snowball and then rolling it to accumulate its size.

“You do the bottom one. I ain’t into that heavy shit,” Race said, presumably working on the middle.

“Yes you are. You’re only like thirty pounds behind me on the bench press,” Albert deadpanned, starting on the bottom anyway.

“Shush, babe.”

They continued their snowman, laughing as their proportions were way off.

“Oh, no,” Race gasped, “we don’t have anything to put on him!”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” Albert said, dejectedly taking his beanie off and placing it on the snowman. Race removed his scarf in solidarity, wrapping it carefully around their creation.

“Our son’s all grown up. He’s come so far from just being the bottom,” Albert said, wiping a fake tear away.

Race smirked. “So have you,” he snickered, making Albert’s jaw drop before his face went red.

“The worst part,” Albert growled, “is how fucking good that was.”

“Haha, that’s what I say whenever you to—“

Race didn't get to finish his dirty sentence because Albert tackled him into the snow after screaming “you little shit!”

Albert leaned over Race, Race’s eyes scrunched closed. He blinked one open.

“‘The worst part,’” he mocked, “‘is how fucking good this is.’”

Albert was in a state of shock. “I literally—oh my god, we’re not gonna fuck in Central Park,” he groaned.

“Yeah, but I’m on fire today, ain’t I?” Race smirked. Albert slowly returned it, an idea forming in his head.

“Fire, huh?” he said, gathering some snow in his hand. “Better cool you off then.” Then, he dropped it directly on Race’s face without any sign of emotion.

Race immediately shrieked, swiping it off of him as Albert burst out laughing, only to earn him a wad of snow in his face as well, his nose quickly feeling like it was going to freeze and fall off his face. Albert scrambled off of Race a good distance, packing a snowball and chucking it at where Race still lay. It broke apart on Race’s stomach, making the other boy sit up with a furious expression. Albert nervously started making another one. Race’s wrath was quite terrifying. His own would be, too, if he didn’t show it so often. Race’s was almost secret. Albert scootched himself backwards, throwing another one at Race. He dodged it, now coming towards Albert, who froze mid-backward crabwalk, resting on his arms as he watched Race storm towards him, snow whipping around his icy eyes. Al stared at his stomach as Race put his boot on it, pushing Albert into the ground with a small “ouff.”

Race leaned down. “This is so nostalgic. Just like old times, if ya catch my drift.”

Albert rolled his eyes. “There is no way you ain’t happy when I top,” he said, resting his hands behind his head with a sly smile.

“You cocky bastard,” Race shook his head, taking his foot off of Albert, who took it as an invitation to sit up. “Nope,” Race said simply, kneeling and pushing him back down, meeting his lips with his own.

Albert wanted to resist it. He really did. He was cold, and in the snow, and his face was still wet from the snow Race had pressed into it.

But he kissed back anyway, hands coming away from his head and moving to Race’s cheeks, immediately feeling warmer. Albert felt Race’s hand sneak up his side, and rushed to meet it with his own before it could reach his pocket.

“Race,” he muttered around Race’s mouth, “I already said we cannot fuck in Central Park.”

“Not my fault you get hot in the wrong scenarios,” Race hummed.

Albert thought back to Thanksgiving at Katherine’s house. Whoops.

“Well, it is a little your fault,” Al shrugged, pulling his lips away from Race’s.

“Not my fault you can’t resist meeeee—“

Albert sat up and heaved Race over his shoulder, then stood, grabbing their belongings from their snowman.

“Fuck you, man,” Race said, banging Albert’s back with his fist.

“Yeah, y’ clearly wanted to, which is why we’re getting a coffee break. Cause of your bad behavior,” Al retorted. Race kept whining as Albert took them to a nearby Starbucks.

Finally they were settled with their respective drinks, Albert blowing on his hot chocolate while Race sipped his white chocolate mocha, Al rolling his eyes.

“Ain’t that practically just warm milk?” he scoffed.

“Ain’t yours?” Race retorted.

“Fuck off.”

They ended up talking until it was dark, which was no big surprise. They always found something to talk about.

“Shit! We have to go skating!” Al said suddenly, standing up.

Race followed suit. “Have to?” He cocked his head.

“Yes,” was all Albert said, offering his hand to Race as they threw out their cups and left.

“Alright, well, we going back to the park or try Rockefeller?” Race asked, Albert thanking the heavens he had dropped his inquiry.

“I was thinking back to the park. Not as many people,” he shrugged.

“Sounds good!” Race smiled, swinging their hands.

They made it back to the park, finding the rink all set up with lights The ice glowed against the dark, making Albert smile.

“Haven’t been skating in a while, have we?” Albert murmured. “Kinda wild, considering….the entirety of high school.”

“Let’s make up for it then. You go really fast the whole time using your hockey skills and I will only spin the whole time,” Race said, effectively making Albert laugh.

The moment they got on the ice, though, it was like someone hit a switch.

They started out slowly, holding hands and gliding along, but quietly. The earlier jokes and name calling was gone. Albert felt like they were the only two people in the ice, like it was a performance—a dance between them, everyone else only watching, not skating along. Race turned inward, resting his hands on Albert’s shoulders and skating backwards as Albert placed his hands on Race’s hips. Race was smiling, a small but sentimental quirk of his lips that sent Albert’s heart reeling.

“You look really perfect, Tonio,” he breathed, blushing slightly.

Race’s smile widened. “So do you, Albie.” He pressed a soft kiss to Albert’s lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Sunshine.”

Soon enough, their time was done, and they had to get off the ice for the next group.

“That was so perfect, babe,” Race beamed. “Best Christmas Eve ever!” He unlaced the skates quickly, putting his boots back on and standing up. “But I am so ready for blankets, holy shit.”

Albert grinned, his heart hammering in his chest as he stood up as well. “Me too. Let’s go home.”

They walked through the park again, the path still snowy, Race rambling about how much fun he had today, but Albert stopped walking.

“Oh my god, Al, and then we—Al?” he stopped to, turning around. He gasped, his hands over his mouth. “Oh my god…”

Albert was kneeling, a knee in the cold snow, and pulled a black box out of his now unzipped coat pocket.

“Hey,” he said.

“H-hey,” Race laughed, gesturing for Albert to continue. Albert took a shaky breath.

“You know that I’ve loved you since we were fifteen. You even called me out on it, scaring the shit out of me until you kissed me. And then I knew it’d be fine, y’know? Cause you were by best friend. You are my best friend. And I know it’ll be fine—well, more than fine, the best, actually—if I could spend the rest of my life with you. I want to so bad, Antonio. I can’t spend my life without my best friend. So...Sunshine, w-will you marry me?”

He swiped at his own tears as he looked at Race’s face, tears streaming from his as well. Race nodded, coming down to where Albert was kneeling.

“Yes, oh my fucking god, a thousand times yes!” he cried, throwing his arms around Al, enveloping his lips in a passionate kiss. Albert kissed back, arms tight around Race's back as they crashed backward into the snow. They laid there for a moment, giggling and crying, until Race asked, "wait, shit what's the ring look like?" Albert laughed, sitting them up and actually opening the box. Inside was a silver band with tiny yellow gems circling in the middle.

"Yellow?" Race smiled. Albert blushed, looking shy.

"You're my sunshine, babe."

Race hugged him tighter. "Jesus fuck, I love you so much!"

They walked home arm and arm, a new accessory on Race's finger.

[tarithenurse]

Snow everywhere

Pairing: Sam Wilson x fem!(semi)OC Prompts: ”You murdered my snowman!” & “Snowball fight” Contents: THE FLOOOOF! Oh…and a little hint of sexy time if you squint and tilt your head just right, but nothing explicit. A/N: I apologize in advance for making the OC’s appearance specific, but I got an idea as I was writing this. So, without (much) further ado: here’s my contribution to @devilbat‘s Holiday Challenge/Celebration/Bonanza/Fun.

Already before pulling the curtains aside, Sam knew today was the day. He didn’t even have to look, because the light was much brighter and there was a silence lying over the world that brought peace and comfort. Of course, the reason for coming out to the small town in the midwest was to enjoy the quiet compared to Washington where he lived, and his grandma’s hometown also served as a reminder of where he came from. His family. That’s what the holidays are all about, right?

Throwing the duvet aside, the veteran shivered against the cold air that suddenly surrounded his skin, eliciting eruptions of goosebumps and spurring him to get into the warm shower and figure out what to do with the day ahead.

Time off from missions and Avengers-duty isn’t the same as having nothing at all to do. It’s later in the afternoon on a day spent with revisiting old haunts, a bit of shopping, and more coffee than should be consumed in a day with the veterans at the local nursing home.

Sam loves their brazen sense of humour that he’s able to uncover under the old layers of dust and forgotten memories, and somehow, he’s got an easier time connecting with them than a lot of people his own age. Things get easier with his fellow generation if they’re veterans too, but they always know exactly who Sam is, the moment he introduces himself. It bothers him more than he likes to admit. The old folks just see him as another young punk.

But the coffee! Oh, man…the coffee. In an effort so run off the caffeine-jitters, the hero has pulled on layers and layers of soft training clothes and set off in a steady running-pace as the darkness battles fruitlessly with the electric lights reflecting off the snow. A few flakes are drifting from the heavy clouds above, making the town look like a holiday ornament in a snow globe.

Puffs of air form before him with each timed breath as his feet carry him down long forgotten paths of the summers spent visiting his granny. Past the old neighbourhood where newer buildings have replaced the old, single-story houses, making it hard for Sam to recognize where she was born, lived, and died. Granny spent her entire life in the same town, and now it’s changing so fast that she probably wouldn’t have recognized half of it.

Stride by stride, the runner’s carried to the park where he passes the new generation of inhabitants that are busy with their own games in the last moments available to them before their parents will tell them it’s time to head home and get ready for supper. A dog has mixed with them, joyfully yapping and running about, trying to catch the snowballs the kids toss at it. Each time it gets one the snow breaks apart, turning into a crumbling mess and it doesn’t understand where it went. In confusion, the animal looks around again and again in search of it to the onlookers’ amusement, Sam’s included. Still looking at the scene over his shoulder, the veteran doesn’t pay attention to where he’s going before it’s too late and the uneven, snow-covered ground makes him stumble and fall, crashing heavily into something and taking whatever it is down with him. Everything’s a swirl of white snow, yellow light, and dark shadows until he manages to sit up and brush the snow out of his face.

The first thing Sam notices is the broken carrot in his hand. The next thing is a clear voice coming from just a few feet away.

“You murdered my snowman!”

Blinking confused, he focuses on the shape of a woman with a bright blue scarf tugged partially into the grey coat. Cheeks and nose with a hectic pink from the cold…or indignation.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!” Sam pushes to his feet, realizing too late that he’s now stomping around on the remains of the snowman. “I’ll uhhm…I’ll rebuild it!”

Clear, blue eyes glitter ominously, making him think of ice crystals. “Oh, you better!”

Next second, she smiles brightly and pushes the white-blond hair out of her face. She’s not wearing gloves? Not being one for the cold, it seems like madness to Sam, but he doesn’t dare comment on it for fear of being the targeted of the wrath that had seemed like a frigid snowstorm. Instead, he begins dutifully to uphold his promise.

“To whom am I gonna dedicate this work?” Sam glances over at the slender figure.

The woman flashes him a crooked smile before busying herself with making snowballs. “You can call me Skadi.”

That name’s not from around here. “I’m Sam,” following her lead, he sticks to the first name only, “nice to meet you.”

Patching up the broken parts of the snowman proves simple enough. But as he’s wiggling the top on, it bothers the dutiful soldier in Sam that the structure isn’t stable, and so he begins to fortify it together with Skadi as the snow begins to fall gently from above, providing them with more of the building material while they make small talk.

She’s beautiful, Sam admit to himself. Clear ice is in her eyes; her skin is pale and rosy like the sunrise on snow; and somehow the cold crystals seem to weave around her, clinging to her hair and coat without seemingly bothering her. Slender, pale finger with turquoise-painted nails are moving quickly, expertly shaping the snow according to Skadi’s will and creating details in the figure they’re building together.

They’re the only people left in the park now, still she doesn’t seem in a rush to get out of there even as they step back to admire their handywork. It’s a prime example of a snowman. According to Sam it might even be the best, showing qualities that he’d otherwise only expect from actual sculptures. Circling the figure, he admires the pattern of swirls and cartoonish snowflakes Skadi’s traced on what looks like a knitted sweater on a plump, little man (with a very short carrot-nose).

“Damn, lady, you’re an artist with snow!” The words slip out before he’s thought them through but seeing her bright smile from the other side of the cold statue makes him relax. “I’d forgotten how great it is to play in the snow…”

“Then I guess…it’s a good thing I found you.”

A flurry whips her hair around her face, nearly obscuring the devious smile that precedes the perfect launch of a snowball hitting him square in the chest.

“Oh, that’s how it’s gonna be?” Bending down, Sam scoops up handfuls of snow, only to drop it when a new projectile crashes into his hands.

“Bring it, summer-boy.”

Skipping backwards, Skadi taunts him to try his best to get a hit in. Each time he misses, her laughter rings out clear like a bell in the winter night, while she on the other hand lands one snowy orb after the other, showering him in cold fluff that mixes with the puffs of air from each exhalation.

The first time one of his snowballs finds the intended target it hits her on the back of the head, effectively making her stumble, and for a moment Sam freezes, afraid that she might get upset. Suddenly, he feels the cold that’s soaked into his shoes and the numbness of his fingers…and just as quickly, he forgets it again. Clear laughter like a song long forgotten spurs him on a wild chase where neither of them care anymore whether the snowballs are fully formed or if it’s just loose avalanches pushed through the air, covering them in white powder that melts slowly wherever it’s near enough their skin. Still, Sam seems to be getting the worst of it. Changing tactics, he decides. Drawing on everything he’s learned since Steve’s started with the “on your left”-training, the man goes all in on a sprint, tackling Skadi into a soft mound of snow that’s been accumulating in a dip in the terrain. There they tumble around until the gentleman has ensured that the woman’s on top. His hands are resting on her hips beneath the silver-grey coat. Eyes like ice sparkle as they meet his warm gaze. So different and wild. Blond hair falls around their faces like a thin curtain that keeps the rest of the world away, hiding how their lips brush lightly and Skadi’s minty breath mixes with his.

“You’re cold, winter-princess.” This close Sam can see the tiny crystals caught in her lashes.

Taking time to place slow, cooling kisses along his jaw, the woman finally reaches his ear and whispers: “You can try to warm me up, summer-boy.”

…

Next morning when Sam wakes up, Skadi has already left and when he pulls the curtains aside he sees that the snow’s melting.

…….

[simplemoneyman-blog]

Make Saving Easy and Spending Hard

  This post is also featured on Gen Y Finance Guy.   A part of me has this weird conspiracy theory that we spend so much because we are subliminally trained to do so. This is evident with incentives like rebates, points, rewards, free “trials”, cash back and even free merchandise (which is not really free since we did spend in order to be eligible for it in the first place).   There are also so many ways or methods of spending which are so easy and right at our fingertips and thumbprints. We don’t even have to take out any real money or even credit cards. Merchants may have our payment information stored online or we may have payment information stored on our smartphone that we can just scan at so many places. By the way, the security around this is a whole other story, which I won’t get into here.   Therefore, if we can make saving easy and spending hard, it can help us achieve financial goals including a respectable retirement balance or an emergency savings cushion that allows us to sleep at night.    

Make Saving Easy Using Automation

  Automate Savings   Simple things can be done to automate your savings; all of these just follow a set it and forget it mentality:   Automate contributions to your retirement plan – whether you work for a company or are your own boss, you can contribute to your retirement plan at regular intervals. If your employer offers a matching contribution, be sure to contribute at least up to the amount of that match.   For example, let’s assume your employer matches 50% of your contribution up to 5% of your base pay. Let’s say your base pay is $50,000. This means that 5% of your base pay is $2,500 ($50,000 X 5%). So you should at least contribute an annual amount of $2,500 simply to obtain the employer match which is FREE money.   Automate Health Savings Account contributions – you can contribute to your health savings account every pay period. This is an account that allows you to contribute pre-tax dollars to a fund. Generally, participants receive a credit card that can be used to pay for copays, prescriptions and for other medical related expenses. You can set the amount you’d like to contribute and best of all; it lowers your taxable income!   Automate contributions to your brokerage account – you can set automatic deposits from your checking account into your brokerage account at intervals, such as monthly. Then you can invest in stocks and ETFs. It doesn’t have to be a big amount, but something to get the ball rolling – the snowball of investing. J   The key is consistency in your savings. Once consistency is established you’ll be in a better position to reevaluate and up your savings rate. Maintaining a high savings rate is crucial in establishing lasting wealth. Over time, saving becomes easy with the help and power of automation.   Using automation as a tool for saving has proven to work. From a study in Denmark, John Friedman of Harvard’s John F. Kennedy School of Government indicates that you actually save more when you do not pay attention. He goes on to say that the implementation of passive saving policies like automation is significantly better than activities such as tax incentives to save.     Automate Investing   The brokerage account I’ve had for years, Scottrade, has a Flexible Reinvestment Plan tool. I just go into my account every so often and to make sure it is operating as intended (i.e., the securities of funds I want to reinvest in are designated at the proper percentages, what my flexible reinvestment balance has accumulated up to, when the next trade date is, and the transaction history to make sure dividends are transferring into this account as they should be).   Apart from Scottrade I also use Robinhood. This platform doesn’t have an automatic reinvesting tool, so I manually reinvest about once a quarter. But the benefit is trading is free on Robinhood, which is one of the reasons I signed up for an account over a year ago.   One of the key benefits of automating your investing is dollar-cost averaging. This is the art of consistently investing in the stock market so that the prices you buy at average out over time. And we all can agree that over time the stock market does provide positive returns.   And even if you started with dollar-cost averaging 5 years ago into Vanguard’s S&P 500 Index Fund (VOO), your investment would generate a return of almost 16%:  

        Make Saving Easy Thru Reinvestment of Dividends

  Dividends are one those great things that make saving super easy. Once you invest in stocks or funds that pay out dividends, you can just sit back and relax, a little bit that is.   As I mentioned earlier, some brokers have a feature which automatically reinvests dividends earned into securities you designate. If yours doesn’t, be like me and set a reminder on your calendar to check up, maybe quarterly, to reinvest your dividends.   As time goes by, dividends earned and reinvest will begin to accumulate and it may be a good idea to consider tax efficiency on dividend income.    

Make Spending Hard By Using Only Cash

  It may be hard going to the ATM on a regular basis and withdrawing cash. But I know people that do that and as a result, they are disciplined with their spending. Try it out and see if it works for you.   It may be good to start out with a small amount as it may make you cognizant of your routine spending. Ofcourse, the amount is different for everyone whether it’s $20 or $40 or $100 a week. Once you get in the habit of using only cash, you’ll actually become better at researching purchases to find the best deals and ignore bogus sales tactics.    

Making Spending Hard By Preplanning Your Weekend or Leisure Time

  Often times the weekend will come around and we have no idea what we want or need to do. We have no plans or preparation in place and that can be dangerous. As a result, you may not have meals prepared and will eat out more.  You may not have free activities scheduled so instead may drive to your local mall or shopping center and become a consumer looking to buy something just to fill in the time.   By preplanning your weekend, you’ll be able to deliberately put thought into activities and run the costs/benefits and advantages/disadvantages of those activities. This doesn’t mean you should deprive yourself. You’ve worked all week and may have to work on the weekend too. You deserve to indulge in something you or your family will enjoy. There are plenty of low cost or free activities to enjoy such as a picnic at a part, visit the museum. If you live near a metropolitan area, there are museums that cover so many topics (e.g., history, outer-space, and nature).   And if you need to buy groceries or run errands, try using a list. We’ve implemented this and it really helps on staying focused in the store(s), saving money and time. There have been many times in the past where we’ve either bought something simply because we were indulged at the grocery store and at the same time forgot to buy something we actually needed. This was the result of not using a list.     Have you implemented any of these saving or spending strategies? Which ones are the most and least effective for you?   _________________________________________________________________________

I use  because (1) it’s free, (2) it tracks all of my accounts and overall net worth, (3) my account balances automatically update, (4) it shows how my investments are diversified and allocated in various sectors, and (5) can use built-in tools like “Investment Checkup” to get….wait for it…free personalized advice!   Read the full article

[manimaranmatthews]

10 Steps to Attract the Life You Want

If I told you that you could create the exact type of circumstances you want, would you call me crazy? What if your very thoughts could create ripples of change that not only impact your life… …but those around you as well? Philip, a call center worker from the Philippines certainly didn’t think so. He dreamed of moving overseas so he could secure a better life and provide for his family. But at every turn, his own mind shut down every opportunity he thought of. For instance, Philip considered seeing an immigration consultant, but he either “didn’t have the time” or “couldn’t afford it”. So, he resented his situation and cursed himself (and the world) for his “bad luck”. He didn’t realize that the real culprit was his mindset – not his circumstances. And it seemed like the more he ruminated, the more bad things happened. Thus, he kept feeding the cycle of being stuck in a rut and feeling bad, trapping him even more. That was, until his aunt Sara introduced him to the Law of Attraction. Turning the tide Before she moved to California, Sara had been close with Philip and treated him like a son. She had her own share of struggles finding greener pastures abroad, but she applied the principles from the Law of Attraction to overcome them. So she sent a few books on the topic to Philip through Amazon so he could gain the clarity to turn his life around.

At first, Philip didn’t really think much of it, but he decided to read through the books since his aunt went through the trouble of sending it over. After he started applying the lessons he learned from the material, things started to change for him. It came as a complete shock to Philip – he never thought in a million years that making a simple shift in his thinking could have such a direct and POWERFUL impact in his life. And soon enough, the fog of negativity and despair around Philip lifted and he found a way to make his dreams happen. Through his persistence, he was eventually able to borrow the money he needed for the consultation fees, and learned the step-by-step process to get work overseas. Philip was finally able to find a fulfilling and rewarding career in Australia. Not only does he get to support his family back home, he also made friends and enjoys his new life abroad. Just a few months ago, Philip’s parents started their own business, thanks to his help. At the rate they’re going, his family could save enough so they can pass on their business to another relative and follow Philip to Australia. ould wait for Philip to take the offer so they can move there instead. Whatever option Philip chooses, the possibilities for him are almost limitless. But he’s just one of thousands who made the Law of Attraction to work for him. Like Philip, a lot of people are initially discouraged to try because they think it takes a lot of work. But the reality is that it’s surprisingly easy to get started. You just need to follow these 10 Super Simple Steps to Attract Everything You’ve Ever Wanted: Step #1: A little gratitude goes a long way The first thing you should learn about the Law of Attraction is that it operates on energy. YOUR energy, to be exact. Everyone has a different kind of energy they bring into the world, and it affects them in ways they often don’t see or appreciate. The secret lies in the FREQUENCY of a person’s energy – and you need to raise yours in order to change your life. Think of your unique energy as a sort of gas that fills the space of your reality. Whatever “gas” or “energy” you pump out into your immediate space will define your existence. Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, said this in his book, “Man’s Search for Meaning”: “To draw an analogy: a man’s suffering is similar to the behavior of a gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore the “size” of human suffering is absolutely relative.” So if you want to invite great things into your life, you need to set the stage first. And you can do that by leading with the right energy. That’s why being grateful and appreciating what you have is powerful way to recalibrate your frequency. Most folks hold off on feeling this way for AFTER they get what they want. But that’s putting the cart before the horse, as the saying goes. When you LEAD with gratitude, it will act as the precedent for everything good that follows.

What I like to do is start of my day by making a list of things that I’m grateful for. If I miss anything, I save it for later and update my list at the end of my day. And when I go over my list during the weekend, I’ll see exactly how much good stuff I’ve accumulated. This creates a kind of snowball effect and helps me attract even MORE good stuff down the road. Step #2: Be generous This can be a challenge for some people if they feel like there isn’t enough to go around. But if you take the initiative to SHARE whatever you can without asking anything in return… … you’ll generate the kind of energy that attracts prosperity for everyone… …including YOU. Again, this is the Law of Attraction at work. Try offering your time, talents and material wealth to those who need it – you’ll soon invite blessings without even trying. Step #3: Visualize your future What I find amazing about kids is how powerful their imaginations are. When they role-play with other children, you can see in their eyes how REAL their games are to them. This is something that’s lost on grown-ups, and it’s important to recapture that ability to envision the kind of reality you want. The Universe likes to play games with us- the better you are at visualizing, the more you’ll be rewarded. Like I said, a certain type of energy attracts a certain kind of reality. So if you focus your energy and thoughts on that dream job you want or the car you’ve always wanted to drive, you’ll raise your frequency to ATTRACT those exact things. Step #4: Let the negativity pass When the bad times roll in and you feel like dirt, sometimes it’s better to step aside and let it run its course. Having negative thoughts and emotions are totally normal, but you don’t always have to wrestle with them. You can simply acknowledge what’s going on in your inner world – then CHOOSE to keep moving forward anyway. Let this negative energy pass through your system like bad case of gas. The sooner you let it do its thing, the quicker you can get back to what you were doing. (Sorry for the fart analogy, but it get the point across, doesn’t it?) Step #5: Never stop growing It’s good to have a daily routine in your life, but not at the expense of your personal development. Most people are so set in their ways that they’re afraid of the thought of doing something new. Then they complain about their humdrum lives, or that some folks “have all the luck.” Breaking out of your comfort zone is never an easy thing, but it’s a step worth taking. No matter how loaded your schedule is, find some chunks of time to do things that will help you grow. Whether it’s taking an online course, joining a community, or taking up a hobby, this is a powerful way to attract new and exciting things in your life. Step #6: Avoid the “toxic” crowd There are people who seem hell-bent on pulling others into their world of misery. Whether they’re trying to lessen their own pain or simply enjoy doing it, you need to steer clear of them. Instead, choose people who will have the opposite effect on your psyche. Not only does a person’s energy attract circumstances, it’s also CONTAGIOUS. So make sure you hang out with the people who’ll inspire you to achieve greater things – and not bring you down with apathy or inaction.

Step #7: Give yourself permission to succeed Most of the world’s most brilliant people were put down in some way. Somewhere along the way, someone told them they’d “never make it” or were “destined to fail.” In your own life, certain people have tried to discourage you in some way. They might have tried putting you down when you were growing up – or it could have been last week. It doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you understand that NO ONE can put labels on you. And more importantly, they can NEVER give you permission to achieve what you want in life. You need to do that for yourself. Don’t let their words define your “story”. You don’t have to fit whatever petty narrative they’re trying to force on you. Step #8: Affirm who you are Instead of feeding into the lies that people tell you, let this be the day to start living your truth. Create statements that embody the truth you choose to be, AND to live in. People do this all the time. When Elon Musk tried to launch the world’s first privately owned rocket and failed, he told himself, “I’m going to try again, and I WILL get that thing into orbit.” (Well, maybe not exactly like that, but you get the point.) And so his company SpaceX went back to the drawing board and got it right after the third attempt. Elon affirmed his truth and it manifested into reality. In the same way, you can choose to affirm whatever truth applies to you. Be honest with yourself and acknowledge the things that TRULY matter to you. You know it, and the Universe knows it. The key is to repeat it yourself every day. For example, if you know deep in your heart that you want to make a better life for yourself, you can say something like this: “I may be struggling right now, but I know deep inside that I have what it takes to improve my life. I see myself transforming into a happier, wealthier person who makes other people’s lives brighter.” When you operate from even the tiniest shred of truth, you can grow that into a powerful force over time. Step #9: Fail spectacularly Here’s something most people don’t know about the Law of Attraction: before you can enjoy success and find true happiness, you need to crash and burn. It’s better to go after what you want and risking failure rather than playing it safe and not trying at all. To create order in your life, you’ll have to embrace the chaos that comes before it. This is where you’ll find the real lessons, even if they hurt a little. (Or in some cases, a LOT). Think of yourself as the beautiful Phoenix, like in the legends. Imagine burning off bits and pieces of yourself that you don’t need. As you rise from the ashes, you’re reborn into a NEW YOU. That’s evolution. It may be an imperfect and unpleasant process, but the results are worth it. Step #10: Remove your BIGGEST barrier to success People don’t realize that their greatest roadblock is none other than their own mindset. They may say they want something to happen, but don’t REALLY mean it. For instance, someone might want to lose weight, but they don’t want it bad enough. Worse, they might not actually believe they can shed those pounds. A part of them refuses to acknowledge the faintest possibility of it happening. This is pretty much why people NEVER attract the things they want in life. In order to remove this barrier, you’ll need to change something inside you. You need to dig deep and understand WHY you don’t want it as much as you say you do. Are you scared of suffering through the process of getting what you want? This is what turns most people off – they simply can’t process the discomfort involved with growing up. At the same time, you need to deal with the reasons why you think that your desired reality is impossible. It could be some deep-seated beliefs brought about by past events, or experiences growing up. Once you sort this out, you’ll be free to do what you want without any pre-programmed beliefs holding you back. Now, these ten steps we just talked about will get your foot in the door. Once you start doing them regularly, you’ll experience remarkable breakthroughs you didn’t think were possible. But if you want to witness even MORE changes on a massive (or even cosmic) scale, you need to check out my FULL course called Manifestation Miracle. Like the name suggests, I enjoyed nothing short of a life-changing revolution not too long ago. In a lot of ways, my situation was the same as Philip’s. I worked myself to the bone and felt unfulfilled. I was trapped in my soul-crushing career. Even though I needed the money, I HATED having to put up a hollow appearance of a happy, successful businesswoman. But then I discovered how turn my mind into a magnet for prosperity and abundance…

[stevepattinson]

Few innovations and important technologies in Fleet Management

In coming years, there will be more than 20 billion associated gadgets being used, driving innovation organization predicts. Associated gadgets are as of now in the home – learning indoor regulators and coolers can interface with Wi-Fi – yet the "Web of Things" (IoT, short for the immense organization of associated gadgets) is likewise having a major effect in the car space. Renting, vehicle rental, public transportation and automobile producing are largely being upset by associated gadgets. For instance, the incorporation of IoT and telematics makes new development open doors for the car business through extra equipment, programming arrangements and portable applications.

The innovation and advancements occurring in the Vehicle Fleet Management is problematic and exceptionally captivating for conveyance drivers and coming about which it significantly diminishes the weights of fleet activities. We have picked a couple of critical advancements that is certainly going to change the Vehicle Fleet Management and Fleet Management Services for your business. The presence of boundless advances and developments in the customer biological system is more than the mechanical advancements that took put in corporate world. This places a desperate requirement for organizations to look out for the most recent innovation developments that is getting quick actualized in the fleet tasks. It additionally prompts the fleet chiefs to include this advancements into their fleet management business and afterward improve profitability.

As a fleet administrator, you have more innovation accessible to you than any other time. That is something to be thankful for. The most recent advancements in fleet management are making it simpler to decrease fuel costs, improve driver conduct and lift your eco-accreditations. Here are five advancements to watch in coming years. One more day, another item advancement. Innovation is moving quick to the point that you can scarcely go 24 hours without knocking toward the most recent must-have item in your area. However as anybody acquainted with the separable canine sack will let you know, not all "fundamental motoring developments" are very as basic as they guarantee.

The business is right now experiencing a phenomenal time of change. It started with the coming of the cell phone, which lead to the ascent of web-based media. At that point the development of the cloud and large information and it's snowballing today with the consolidated impact of various uber patterns, for example, the sharing economy, client/buyer centricity, urbanization, ecological mindfulness and exponential innovative advancements like Computerized reasoning (man-made intelligence), mechanical technology, Web of Things (IoT), Augmented Reality/Increased Reality, energy stockpiling and blockchain, also quantum figuring, nanotechnology, biotechnology and materials science.

By interfacing vehicles to the web to send data or get orders, associated gadgets make it conceivable to gather information that prompts better knowledge into business frameworks. Impact shirking frameworks are a significant apparatus for improving fleet wellbeing and limiting expense and harm. Frameworks can utilize visual and perceptible alarms to caution drivers of approaching crashes, hazardous path changes, following excessively close and other expected risks.

By utilizing creative advances the designer gets the best occasion to fabricate an item or administration without the requirement for a fleet vehicle along these lines decreasing the general cost consumption. One of its sort is disintermediation of vehicles achieved while creating the distant imagine advancements. It will offer the fleet management the accommodation to imagine from anyplace at some random time. You can make the fleet activities more common and a lot simpler to use for better normalization to be benefited inside representatives and clients.

Another use of disintermediating vehicles end up existing when playing out the advanced far off diagnostics and utilizing programming downloads to fix machines consummately. It will totally dispose of the requirement for a specialist to go to the far off diagnostics issue and afterward cut down on support cost. The Fleet Proprietor would now be able to download the restorative programming and afterward override their capacity in offering the fleet support forever.

The most recent telematics items track fuel go through with amazing precision. Better still they show you precisely how much inefficient driving practices cost your business in pounds and pence. Unfortunate propensities like unforgiving slowing down, quick speeding up and erroneous apparatus use are logged for every driver, permitting you to discover precisely where execution needs to improve to drive down your fuel spend. While not carefully identified with telematics, some fleet chiefs are starting to utilize wearable tech to screen the rest nature of their drivers. The thought and it's a questionable one – is to utilize the rest information accumulated by wearable tech to pass judgment on a driver's qualification for the street. It can likewise be utilized to ensure drivers are getting the lay they need on their breaks.

We additionally observe a move in plans of action from B2B to B2C/B2B2E. In the (car) money related services industry, we see proof of this through the union of retail (B2C) and fleet (B2B), like in private rent and with credit items being offered with esteem included services. Client ventures start and end on the web and purchasers expect enabling/ground-breaking, self-overhauling apparatuses, requiring a solid spotlight on UX (versatile first obviously, yet cross-channel). This implies that limits are obscuring between back, center and front office. They are not, at this point isolated (frameworks or layers) yet rather extraordinary use cases in the business environment.

In corresponding to the group of contraptions associated with the Web of Things Innovation the fleet vehicle would likewise be engaged to convey bother free across various vehicles and framework availability. It is assessed that the fleet vehicle will deliver a monster of on request noteworthy information at ongoing premise by bury associating vehicles safely. At present these voluminous information of exchanges are tie utilizing the prescient investigation and later on it will move to prescriptive examination methods making a portion of the serious component combinations like advanced driver scorecard, mileage reports and successful fleet management. The utilization of wearable innovation is additionally prone to occur advancing the fleet vehicle and making things simpler for drivers to get scrupulous about the atmosphere controls, seating controls and coloring windshields and so on.

Artificial intelligence driven self-governing vehicles is a model innovation that can be placed into greatest use for Fleet Management reason. The inquiry is the point at which this Independent Vehicle innovation is getting feasible for business. As of late, the general set of laws has just cleared a path for another climate and apparently should no sooner get presented. Fleet Self-governing Vehicle certainly is a magnificent open door for Conveyance management notwithstanding representing a little concern and danger in the brilliant city.

For the most part any Fleet activity is booked to run inside the important working hours and need to totally hold fast to street wellbeing consistence. It requires each fleet drivers and supervisors to think about the transfer subtleties and the necessary time length determined at incredible accuracy. This will likewise impact the conveyance driver to decide when to stop and afterward progress with fleet activities.