#i like it but i need a change of topic <- i say with a post on flower symbolism in the first cs ending in my drafts

[daylightstring]

i manifested a new house for my family and some revelations about the law.

i’m honestly super emotional even typing this because housing has always been a huge issue for my family, but not anymore. it’s finally resolved.

basically, our lease for the house we’d been living in for five years was ending. now, i don’t want to take full credit for this manifestation because my dad worked incredibly hard to make this happen too. in my family, my dad is the only provider since my mum has her own mental health struggles, and me and my brother are focused on our studies. because of that, getting a loan for a good house was really difficult. but knowing the law, i decided to start affirming and visualising every time the topic came up, no matter what was happening in the 3d. i kept telling myself the house is already ours, only moving boxes is left. even when my parents were stressing about it, i stayed in my own reality internally.

luckily, once i started persisting, my parents found a really decent house in our area that was still within our budget. i kept affirming that the house was already ours, that all that was left was moving boxes. and guess what? we got the call that the house is officially ours. it’s a modern, four-bedroom house with a huge backyard. it’s beautiful.

this is probably my first really ‘big’ manifestation and it’s helped me understand the law on a whole new level. i had already studied the law a lot and understood the basics from reading source material, but actually living it through something life-changing hit differently.

when i kept repeating to myself that the house is already ours, that moving boxes is the only thing left, i realised this mindset is exactly what makes manifestations happen. nero knowledge, my favourite manifestation creator, always says that once you’re no longer dependent on seeing change in the outside world, that’s when it happens. whatever it is you want, you have to claim it with unbelievable conviction, so much so that even if you didn’t get it, you would still feel like you have it. that’s the level of certainty it takes. brazen impudence. refusing to accept ‘no’ as an answer from reality.

identity is everything. i hate to say it, but you need a strong self-concept to experience true life-changing shifts. that’s the real principle behind the law that every successful, enviable person has lived by. i know this because i tried to manifest a new house two years ago when i was deep in anxiety and depression, and it didn’t happen. my identity back then was someone terrified she wouldn’t get what she wanted, and the universe, being a mirror, simply reflected that.

stop identifying with labels that do nothing but hurt you. i understand trauma. i’ve lived it too. but you can’t spend your life staring at your wounds. you’re strong. you want to change. i know you do because you’re here, reading this, waiting for that big “aha” moment that will fix everything. but it’s not going to come from the outside. it will only come from you, when you apply the law and choose a new identity. like neville said…there is no one to change but self.

you have to stop caring in the wrong way. when i say ‘stop caring’, i don’t mean stop wanting your desires, i mean stop being so attached to the idea that once you have it, everything will change. there is no ‘after’. it’s happening now. right now. soak into that feeling, claim it, and live from it.

[musicalnobody]

Little Secret Ch. 1

General Shepard's Daughter X Simon "Ghost" Riley ⋆ Call of Duty ⋆ MDNI ⋆ 9.3k words ⋆ 18+, explicit ⋆ Read the tags ⋆

⋆ AO3 link ⋆

Summary: After finding out about Shepherds betrayal, Ghost is sent to raid his residence. What he finds there is too good to resist.

Tags: Rape/noncon, Kidnapping, Drugging (brief, no drugged sex), the dove is struggling, pov second person, daddy issues, daddy kink, reader is shepherd's daughter, unsafe sex, age difference (Ghost is late 30's, reader just turned 18 prior to the story), manhandling, restraints, handcuffs, crying, dacryphilia, breathplay, pet names, squirting, creampie, deepthroating, rough oral sex, no use of y/n, spit as lube, size difference, cunnilingus

A/N: First piece on tumblr! I haven't been on this site since like sophomore year of highschool, so I'm a tad nervous! I have only played a little bit of call of duty so if there's any inaccuracies don't come for me. This fic does handle a couple (to say the least) dark topics so please tread carefully!

Ghost hadn’t wanted to go on this mission, let alone be playing ISpy in the now deceased General Shepherd’s home, a large 3-story, 6-bedroom house that sat in the middle of multiple acres of forest. It was a solo mission, said that it was just meant to make sure he hadn’t left anything at his personal residence that could’ve provided extra intel. When Ghost asked, Price didn’t even think twice, remarking that Ghost was perfect for the job before handing Ghost the papers and sending him on his way. He was excited at first. Free access to the General’s residence to comb through his personal belongings? It soothed his kleptomaniac tendencies. But then Soap had to go run his mouth, the careless bastard making one too many jokes on the way that didn’t land correctly. So, there he was, stomping through the forest as a steady downpour reminded him that his gear wasn’t entirely waterproof.

When Ghost arrived, he was in a worse mood than when he started. He made sure to take a stop into Shepherd’s personal quarters to change out his underclothing for something a bit drier. The pants were a tight fit, having found a slightly bigger size at the very bottom of his drawers. The black undershirt shirt gripped every curve and crevice of his body. As he was putting his vest back on, he heard a noise from the floor below him. He quickly grabbed his gun and went to make his way down the stairs quietly. When he didn’t find anything, he went to find another room he could rummage his way through, finally settling on what looked like his main office. He hadn’t even meant to look at her, but she was too clumsy, stepping on a floorboard that creaked loud enough for Ghost to hear.

She was a doll, a tiny little thing with big, bright eyes and puffy lips that contrasted her dark hair. He tried taking his eyes off her, all pink and frills, but you just begged to be looked at. Your Mary Janes were perfectly polished, the ruffles of your socks covering the buckles, your dress was short, something he wanted to fix, a pink gingham that looked so tearable it might as well have been a crime his hands weren’t on it at the current moment.

Your hair topped it off, two pigtails sitting prettily on your shoulders, white ribbons holding them in place. He had to suppress a groan. You see, Ghost was nothing short of a pervert. The way you were carelessly wandering around the large house, unaware of the other soul that occupied it. He creeped around the office, waiting till you entered the next hallway before slinking out from the doorway. He needed to figure out who you were. Why you were here. So, he chased. Down the hallway, up the stairs, and down another long and empty hallway. He used the shadows to aid him, years of military training finally paying off.

There was always the option to go forward with normal military procedures, but Ghost couldn’t handle himself. He pulled out the vial and the small rag tucked in his vest, saved for special emergencies, usually someone who wasn’t cooperating. But who’s to say how you would react? After all, you were occupying Shepherd’s residence, you could be volatile. At least, that’s what Ghost told himself as he crept up behind you, rag ready in his right hand. Attack. Wrapping his left arm around your waist, there was barely time for you to let out the cutest little scream Ghost had ever heard before there was a rag in front of your nose and your vision was rapidly fading to black.

Ghost grabbed her body, cradling it as he gently opened the door that he assumed led to your room. It was as if a tornado of pink had swept through the room and left frills and lace in its wake, but as he scanned the room, he noticed something. A dingy cage in the corner of the room, large enough to fit your body and a pillow. Something had gone down here, and he was determined to figure out what, but not before utilizing that gear that had already been given to him. Ghost never claimed to be a morally correct human being, in fact, he’d claim quite the opposite, especially as he watched your sleeping body bend perfectly into a fetal position within the cage, tucked in with a light blanket. As he shut the door to the small cage, he smirked to himself, now he could pay attention to more important things: Ripping your room apart for information.

He started with your numerous bookshelves, grabbing a diary and throwing it on the bed to read later. Checking under the bed, he found there to be nothing but stuffed animals and candy wrappers, how cute, he thought to himself. He looked through your vanity, finding various skin care and make up items, as well as jewelry, many adorned with the letter S. But as he moved to your desk, he knew had found exactly what he was looking for. Right there, on the top left of the first paper occupying the desk, Shepherd. His precious daughter.

He had kept you here all along, hiding you from the outside world. Ghost grinned, he could see why Shepherd would keep you here, too innocent to introduce to the cruel world. After all, the General’s life was full of danger that could’ve fallen to her as well. He stepped back and went to go sit on the edge of the bed, grabbing the diary sitting in the middle. Breaking the lock, he started reading the first page.

“Dear Diary, Dad got me this diary for my 18th birthday, said that he was going to start to go on longer trips and wanted me to be able to catch him up on what’s happened.” There was a high chance that you had gone completely untouched your whole life, even a chance that you’ve never seen another male figure except for your father in your 18 years of life. He could almost burst at the number of possibilities that flooded into his head.

Ghost didn’t make it that far before he heard your small whimpers infiltrate his ears. He looked down at his feet and there you were, tossing and turning as the tranquilizer wore off.

“Rise and shine, princess.” Ghost growled as he kicked the cage doors.

⋆♱✮♱⋆

            Your head was pounding, thoughts begrudgingly swimming around trying to collect themselves. You heard a voice telling you to wake a up. A deep voice, one that traveled through your whole body, it was too deep to be father’s voice. You tried to stretch out your arms, the weight of your head enough to cause your arm to fall asleep, but as you go to extend it you feel the dull pain of your hand hitting the cage walls.

“No…” you whimpered “No no no no no,” you couldn’t be in the cage again, you didn’t do anything wrong, you hadn’t seen father in weeks. You hear another chuckle above you and force your eyes open. It takes your eyes a moment to adjust to the sudden light before you register the sight in front of you.

A man taller than your father stood menacingly over the cage. Large combat boots were the first thing your eyes fully registered. Caked in mud and larger than your head, your eyes traveled upwards till you saw the first glimpse of a color that wasn’t black. You yelped, your eyes filling with tears when you realized who was standing above you. You didn’t have any idea who he was, but you had seen him before. You saw him in papers that you overlooked your father reading and maps with red strings leading to his picture. You knew he was dangerous. “Don’t hurt me please, please I’ll do anything!” You pleaded.

“You should be careful promising things like that” he chuckled as he knelt down.  You scramble away from the cage door on all fours, pressing yourself against the back of the cage as far away as possible. “Awe come on angel, don’t be afraid” he cooed menacingly, moving to unlatch the lock “I won’t hurt you.” The way he was saying it almost made you let your guard down, but then the door was swinging open, and he was grabbing your ankle. You let out a cry and started kicking, but the second he felt your foot reel back so you could make impact his grip tightened.

“Unless you struggle.”

Suddenly, Ghost grabbed both of your ankles and yanked you out of the cage, cradling your head on the way out so you didn’t hit your head. You thrashed, not getting the hint. Ghost rolled his eyes, prepared for this sort of reaction from Shepherd’s brat. He quickly sat down and wrapped his arm around her waist once more, securing his other hand in your hair as he pulled you against his chest. “Stop. Struggling. Make this easy on yourself.” You knew something was wrong. Something had to have gone wrong on fathers last mission that had put you in this predicament. As you sat in his lap, struggling, you were throwing every childish insult at him, clearly not having learned many crass words in your time of confinement. Ghost could almost laugh at how easily he was able to keep you from getting away but couldn’t help but start to stir when you started moving your hips atop his groin. “Stop” he growled lowly, and his tone sent a shiver down your spine. His grip on your hair tightened and you cried out.

“Stop, don’t hurt me! Please!” tears were streaming down your pretty little face, and Ghost finally had the heart to let go of the tight grip on your hair.

“Oh you have no idea the amount of hurt I could cause you”

You frantically looked around the room, seeing your room now ripped apart, and mortifyingly, your diary sitting on the bed. Ghost followed your widened eyes and laughed when he saw the object of your fear. “You had no right to look through that!” You screeched, the waterworks starting back up again, this time in embarrassment. Now Ghost was intrigued, he had only made it through about a dozen entries

“Awe, what possibly could you have written in here that’s so scary? You know what, I think we should look through it together.” He said, and you can see him smile through his balaclava. Your heart might as well have stopped in fear, remembering exactly what’s contained in the small pink book. You realize quickly that your hands are still free and start struggling to pummel this large man in the face with your fists. Ghost snorts, easily dodging your fists and reaching into his pocket, out he pulls a nice set of silver handcuffs. Your tears, which you had somehow gotten to stop, start welling up in your eyes for a second time as Ghost seals your fate, wrangling your arms behind your back and clicking the handcuffs into place. He hoists you into the air, tossing you onto the bed, and grabs your diary. Ghost flips to the page he left off on, uninterested in your mundane retellings of the food you had ate and your studies, before pulling you once again, onto his lap.

“Are you going to tell me what this little diary contains before I continue?” he pries, and you shake your head while scowling at him

“It’s none of your business you brute!” Ghost huffs, before beginning to read your entry aloud

“Dear diary, things have been getting real lonely around the house. The maids have stopped coming around as much, I’ve heard murmurs among them that they haven’t received their payment for the week. I decided to go into father’s office to see if there was any explanation, but all I found were files on some scary men he’s after.” You wiggle again,

“that’s enough, that’s enough! You’ve read enough!” You plead, Ghost just laughs and tightens his grip on you before continuing

“I heard the maids gossiping about me, about how sad it is that the only people I’ve interacted with is them. How sad it is that someone like me hasn’t had a romantic experience yet. Of course, I don’t care or anything, father has his reasons. But since he’s been gone for so long it’s given me time to… explore.” Ghost cocks his eyebrow as he looks down at you, your face is beet red and you’re shaking like a leaf “I found one of his magazines in his office, but everything I read about didn’t help, it still just felt weird. I think I’m broken, I wish I could be one of these girls…” Ghost trails off as he finishes the entry before his gruff voice cuts through the silence

“Time to explore, huh?” The tears that had been threatening to fall finally gave way as you started bawling

“Please don’t tell father, I didn’t do anything, I promise!” Ghost just laughs

“Didn’t do anything? These entries don’t show you didn’t do anything little girl.” You try and curl in on yourself, as much as you can with your hands behind your back. He grabs your jaw forcing you to look at him “But don’t you worry, your father has been, taken care of, to say the least” Ghost says ominously, his whole body pounding with need, with a hunger. Fresh meat. Just sitting in his lap, defenseless. A pang of fear stroke through your heart, your body shaking as you realized just how much danger you were actually in. He let your jaw go, returning his gaze to the diary, eyes scanning the next couple entries. Descriptions of your first time exploring your body, only knowing how because of that mistaken find, how you desperately humped your pillows with restless want, and how you’ve asked the maids for romance novels. Ghost closed the journal, he had seen enough.

“Dirty, dirty girl” he growled, and suddenly your journal was thrown to the side and his hand landed on your thigh.

You whimpered, shutting your legs tightly to try to prevent his hand from travelling further. It was no use. His other hand moved from your waist to your other knee as he wretched your legs apart. God your reaction was pathetic, Ghost thought, watching as you cried out and squeezed your eyes shut. “Come on, don’t you want this” he drawled “I’ll give you what you’ve been dreaming about, sweetheart.” Your thoughts are racing a mile a minute, you don’t know what to do, the only thing you can do is try to get off his lap. This seems to excite him more, actively hearing him try to calm his breath down. You start to whimper, muttering stop between shaky breaths. Your attempts had officially failed, as your mutters seemed to snap the remaining control Ghost had, his hands digging into your thighs roughly. “I’m going to do whatever I want with you, and it’s within your best interest to not put up a fight.” His voice was as rough as the grip on your thighs, and as one hand kept your thigh open, the other started to trail closer to the cloth covering what Ghost really wanted.

“I don’t have anything you want!” You cried, panting as his fingers finally rested on the fabric keeping him from his prize.

“Oh but you do, you have something very special for me to take.” And finally, it really clicked in your head.

“No… No no no, you can’t!” you screamed, fighting the handcuffs keeping you from fighting back. Ghost had enough with your incessant struggling, ripping his hands away from between your thighs, they returned under your arms as he lifted you to throw you onto the center of the bed. The way he was able to maneuver you was dizzying, lifting you as if you were nothing. You went to scoot to the top of the bed, hoping the fluffy texture of your pillows would be enough to calm you down, you faintly heard Ghost snicker. Watching his hulking figure fully get onto the bed and crawl to the middle of it, grabbing your ankle. He pulled roughly and watched in amusement as you yelped in surprise, your head hitting the pillows. You shut your eyes tight, wanting to pinch yourself to escape this nightmare. Ghost groaned as he finally gave himself some well needed attention by rubbing his bulge through his pants, relishing in your fear.

“I can see why your father kept you locked away from the outside world, you’d never make it out there” he cooed, taking in the way your shaking had caused the strap of your little pink dress to fall off your shoulder. Your pigtails had been slightly messed up from the way he had grasped your hair earlier. Your face was wet with tears and your lips were red and puffy from your nervous biting. He needed those lips on his cock, needed your eyes gazing up at him as he wrecked your throat. “Get on your knees.” He commanded, and you opened your eyes to see him in front of you on his knees, still managing to tower over you. You almost scoffed at him, how the hell were you supposed to do that with your hands behind your back. It was like he could sense your attitude as he grabbed both of your pigtails and yanked you forward, forcing you to rearrange yourself to get to your knees. You could see him smile under his balaclava, but his cold blue eyes stared at you with a look of feigned care. “Good girl” he cooed. He released his hold on your hair, letting you fall face first into your covers as he went to unbutton his pants, you turn your neck, trying to see what the large man was doing now. As the sound of a zipper hit your ears, your blood ran cold.

“I have an idea, little one” Ghost said, fake saccharine dripping off his words, everything he said made you feel like you were walking on the edge. Unbeknownst to you, Ghost was pulling a bandana sized piece of fabric out of one of his vest pockets. He used one hand to yank you up again “Keep yourself up” he growled as he folded the fabric. Your brain couldn’t comprehend what was happening until you registered his heated stare and his hands moving to move this piece of fabric towards you.

What was going on, what was he doing? But then it clicked, too late. As you started shaking your head from side to side, Ghost grabbed your chin harshly.

“Stay still, or you won’t like the results” and suddenly the tears were pouring down your face again.

“Please don’t do this, I hate this part, I don’t want to go back there!” Ghost couldn’t help but smirk at your begging, the puzzle pieces of your past slowly falling into place.

“Awe, did your dear old father do this? Take your sight before putting you in that little cage. Letting you sit there and rot?” He questioned, knowing he hit the nail on the head, your fright in the cage earlier helping him gather this conclusion. Your sobs only got louder and more frantic, believing that’s exactly what this man was going to do to you as well.

If Ghost was a better man, he would’ve reconsidered his sick idea. But Ghost wasn’t a good man, evident by the way he yanked the fabric tight around your eyes.

A knot tight enough that only nimble hands would be able to pull it apart, you were close to hysterical.

“Please,” you blubbered “don’t put me back there, I’ll be good!” it was at this confession that Ghost groaned, a groan resonating from deep in the back of his throat. He had you right in the palm of his hands, so malleable that Ghost couldn’t bear waiting any longer.

“Alright, alright” he huffed “I won’t put you back in that stupid cage.” At this your sobs quieted, but only a bit, the vast unknown behind the blindfold still making you vulnerable. “What do you say?” He sneered, patting your cheek lightly.

“Thank you! Thank you, thank yo—“ he cut you off

“Thank you, what?” He growled. You racked your head for what he could possibly mean, you had no idea who this man was, no inkling of a name. Your thoughts were suddenly cut off with a slap to your cheek, the pain causing you to yelp out

“Daddy!”

Time stood still. For the first time that night, Ghost couldn’t breathe. “What was that doll?” He managed to grunt out.

Your brain was so fuzzy from the slap, words were just pouring out of your mouth, anything to try and please the man in front of you “Thank you daddy, thank you” and Ghost simply couldn’t stop the way his hand shot to yank down his boxers, releasing his throbbing erection. He couldn’t be blamed for the way he grabbed your pigtails in his hands and yanked you forward. You cried out at the strain, the lack of support without your arms making this a particularly uncomfortable situation. Suddenly, there was something fleshy prodding against your mouth, you whimpered. What did he want you to do? What was this? Ghost looked down at the young girl in front of him, the tip of his cock was inflamed, he needed relief.

“Come on, sweetheart. Suck.” He growled. I’m going to tear her apart. Your brain had to be short circuiting. Nothing in your books had described anything like this, not even close. Heated make out sessions and light touching were the furthest her books went. What did he even want you to do? He grabbed your chin, squeezing your lips apart before thrusting his hips forward. You were suddenly overwhelmed by the salty, musky taste of his flesh, your mouth forced open to accommodate his width. He had only pressed in the tip, and you were already struggling, trying to shake your head and force him out of your mouth, but his grip on your pigtails returned as he shoved another inch in your mouth. “Come on, doll. You can do it.” The praise made your mind spin as your mouth was opened wider than it ever had before. You tried to follow what he told you to do and suck on the member in your mouth, you hear a low groan above you, a small indicator to keep it up.

“You sure you’re a virgin, sweetheart? Cause you’re taking it like a slut.” It was at this point that he yanked your head forward onto his cock, hitting the back of your throat.

You sputtered, and the tears really started falling, first soaking the fabric and then rolling down your face. Ghost couldn’t help but laugh at the pathetic display in front of him, letting go of one pigtail to faintly trace his hand along the size of your face. You were trying to shake your head again, trying to breathe, when Ghost finally let up. Just to shove you right back down. You cried, and cried, but the more you showed your distress, the rougher his thrusts became. You were desperately trying to suck air in through your nose and the rare times when he would pull all the way out. Then, when you were finally starting to get the hang of it, Ghost kept one hand on your pigtail and moved the other to the back of your head and forced you to the base of his cock. The shock was immediate, your body trying to reject him and your gag reflex kicking in. Ghost growled, you could hear how his breathing had picked up, but that was the last thing you were focusing on as you were desperately trying to break free from his grasp. Drool was pooling around the sides of your mouth, sweat had your hair sticking to your forehead, as you desperately tried to breathe, Ghost making it increasingly harder to. “Come on baby, you don’t need air that badly, you can just be a braindead whore.” His words faintly registered as your head increasingly felt fuzzier. You could feel yourself giving up the fight, letting him force you to deepthroat him.

“Finally,” he groaned “Let yourself be used like a little fleshlight.” You felt filthy, mixes of fluids dripping onto your chest. Ghost’s hips stuttered as he threw his head back, a low moan coming out of the back of his throat as once again he shoved your head to the very base. You still weren’t prepared, and this time, it was accompanied by a salty liquid hitting the back of your throat. He was forcing you to swallow this liquid that you had no knowledge of, not aware of what it was at all. Ghost could hear your cries, your gurgles as he came down your throat. It only got him off more. Finally, Ghost ripped his cock out of your mouth, forcing your mouth open to inspect it, making sure you had swallowed all of his cum.

“W-What was that, what did I just swallow?!” You cried, letting your head fall to his thigh.

“Oh, relax my sweet angel, you’ll be just fine.” It hadn’t even passed through his mind that you wouldn’t have any idea what cum was, and the very thought that you didn’t was enough to get him stirring again. You were desperately trying to get your body to calm down, finally able to breathe. You still couldn’t see, and Ghost had no intention of letting you anytime soon. Ghost picked up his half hard member and stoked it a couple times to the image of you in front of him. You had made an absolute mess on your covers, a large puddle of spit and tears evident below you.

“What a messy baby.” He laughed, tilting your face up so you could “look” at him. He looked at you again and realized that he wanted you on your back, now. He leaned down to your ear,

“Do you think you can follow Daddy’s orders? He whispered, the grumble in his accent making you shiver. You slowly nod your head, scared for what would happen if you disobeyed his actions. “Lay on your back.” He demanded. You suddenly had a choice, try and turn around and flop like a fish, or fall back and hope you didn’t hit your head. Before you could choose, Ghost was choosing for you, picking you up once again below the arms and throwing you onto your back. Your head hit the pillows, and you let out a small cry of surprise. “Not moving fast enough, princess” your head was spinning with all these pet names, each one leaving you with a different feeling.

“You’re wearing too much clothing doll, I think we should change that.” He observed, letting his hand run up your thigh again.

“No, no, I did what you wanted, I don’t want you to see me naked!” you wept, trying once again to close your legs.

“Oh, come on, little one, haven’t you learned by now?” His voice reached your ears as you suddenly hear him unsheathe a knife from its holster. You suddenly feel what you assume is the back of the knife along the outside skin of your thigh, and you bite your tongue to stop the tears from falling again, settling to whimper instead.

“Daddy, please, please don’t hurt me!” Ghost sits back, sets his knife down, and pretends to ponder even though you can’t see him.

“Hmm, I think I know just what to do with you.” You lay there hoping that means you’ll be released from these handcuffs, your hands uncomfortably sitting behind your back, but he opens your legs again instead. Ghost grabs his knife again, lifting your dress to reveal your panties. White cotton with pink rabbits decorating the fabric, and a cute little pink bow in the center, Ghost almost lost it right there. How adorable.

He peels the fabric away from your skin, he knows he could do this the easy way, but fuck, the power he held over you was enough to make him feral. He held a knife up into the fabric and pushed, the fabric giving way under the sharp knife. You cried out, not expecting your underwear to be violated in such a way. He continued to expertly cut the fabric off your body, before disposing of the ruined cotton off the side of the bed. This time, the tears had no choice but to fall, and Ghost realized after the first sniffle. “Awe sweetheart, don’t you worry, I won’t cut you unless you disobey me.” Yeah, because that was supposed to make you feel better. You mewled pathetically, trying to save yourself one last time

 “Please! Just don’t cut up this dress, if you uncuff me I’ll take it off for you and then you can put the cuffs right back on. Daddy please, please!” You rushed, trying to save one of your favorite garments. Ghost tutted at your display of fear, genuinely thinking your offer through.

“Mm, fine.” He grabbed the key from another pocket in his vest, unlocking your cuffs and grabbing them, keeping them close to him. “Put on a show, babydoll.” He leaned back, hoping that he had shown you enough to scare you out of disobeying.

You really wanted to run, you should’ve. But instead, your body started moving, hips swaying side to side as your hands went to clumsily fumble for the zipper. Ghost just sat back and watched you struggle, watching as you finally got your hands on the small piece of metal. Slowly pulling it down, he watched as you slid the lace straps of your pink gingham dress down your arms. Everything you did was with such sensualness that Ghost couldn’t help but feel proud of the display in front of him.

“Good job baby girl, now take it off for me.” And with that you slid the dress down to your waist, over your hips, and suddenly Ghost was growling low. His hand crept closer to the cuffs again, and he pounced. Just as your dress reached the crease of your knees, Ghost ripped your hands away from the dress and joined them above your head. The show obviously stunned you, causing you to cry out immediately, your heart starting to race.

“No, I thought I was doing good!” You pleaded, but Ghost just laughed.  “Oh you’re doing great sweetheart, but you look so much better defenseless.” His words laced around your heart, squeezing tightly as you started shaking from the cool breeze. You were exposed, your dress bunched at your knees, your hands held above your head, and your simple white bra covered your tits, something Ghost wanted to change. But first, he wanted you back in those handcuffs. He grabbed them from his pocket and wrapped them around your wrists, tighter this time just to see you squirm.

“It hurts,” you sniffled, the words barely leaving your mouth before a loud smack was heard resonating throughout the room. He had smacked you.

“That, is hurt, princess.” He sneered, watching as your head dropped in front of you, chin hitting your chest. You were truly in the hands of a bad man. Tears starting to dampen the fabric again, snot running down your nose. Ghost let your hands fall in front of you this time before pushing you backwards onto the bed. Once you landed on your back, Ghost took the opportunity to take off the dress and throw it into the corner of the room near your closet. “I’m going to devour you.” He growled as he spread your legs. If it weren’t for the fact that your head was still pounding from the last time he smacked you, you probably would have resisted the motion, but you couldn’t find it in you. You felt his hand snake behind your back as he expertly took off your bra with one hand, his skilled hand taking off your bra and roughly palming one of your breasts in his hand. Your tits weren’t small by any sense of the word, yet Ghost was able to almost cover an entire breast with one hand, something that reminded you of his sheer size.

“You have such perfect tits for me to play with,” he growled as he leaned down in front of you, one hand still palming your breast. Ghost shoved his mask up to his nose and suddenly, you could feel his hot breath inches away from your cunt, you didn’t know he meant devour literally. But your theory was confirmed as you felt the long stripe of Ghost’s tongue from the bottom of your slit to the top of your mound. You cried out at this, not knowing what to do at the new surge of pleasure that radiated through your body.

“What are you doing, what are you doing?!” You cried, you knew this was wrong, nobody was supposed to do this.

“Come on little girl, just let yourself experience this.” His voice almost like the devil on your shoulder, urging you to let him keep going.

“I don’t want you to see me like this, I don’t want anyone touching there!” The way you didn’t exactly know how to describe it was driving him nuts, leaving most thoughts behind he decided to bark out

“Quiet, before I shut you up in a different way.” The threat hung in the air as you whimpered pathetically. Ghost took this as his cue to continue his attack on your cunt. Despite your cries and protests, you were wet, deviously so. Ghost couldn’t get enough of the divine nectar that was gracing his tongue as he dove into you at a rabid pace. Shoving his tongue as far as he could into your hole, the intrusion foreign to you.

“Oh my God! D-Daddy!” You screamed, you didn’t know what to do. You had never felt so much overwhelm in your life. Your walls were clenching around his tongue, and just that was enough for his erection to make itself very noticeable. The only stimulation being the small rubs against the covers when he lapped at you just right, his cock was once again flushed. The tip dripping precum. But Ghost had a mission. Your cries of “stop!” and “help!” were mixed in with broken moans, that’s how he knew he was getting closer to his goal.

As he shoved his face further into your pussy, lapping at your spongy walls, you were squirming and crying, hands grasping at the top of his balaclava trying to get him to stop. “I can’t take it!” That was what he wanted to hear. Switch. His tongue trailed up to your clit, and suddenly your body was ignited with a fire that you hadn’t been feeling before. Your screams grew louder and higher as you begged him to stop. “Daddy I can’t take this, somethings happening!” It dawned on him that you had definitely never had an orgasm before, and you could feel the wide grin that spread on his face as he continued his assault.

“Come on baby girl,” he growled out, voice muffled between your thighs. His lips wrapped around your clit, and he sucked, hard, and suddenly your vision was going white. You were seeing stars. Ghost had to hold your legs in place as you screamed “Daddy!” so loud that he was glad this was your own residence.

“You make so much noise, princess. So greedy” He tutted. Tapping on your clit with his finger.

The stimulation was almost too much, lighting a spark again. Ghost rose from his hands and leaned back on his knees, wiping his face with the back of his hand. “Such a delicious meal though, you did so good.” He cooed, and you preened with the praise, back arching and a small smile coming across your face, quickly overtaken by a look of fear again when you felt Ghost’s hands travel from your thigh to your core.

“What are you doing?” You said in a panic, “I’m sensitive!” you cried out, truly believing that would be enough to deter him. Ghost laughed, shocked that you hadn’t learned.

“No no, you owe me something baby girl,” And with that both of his hands were roughly grabbing and kneading your chest, pulling and pinching at your nipples as you mewled and moaned in abandon. He kept his left hand on your breast as he used his other hand to guide his cock to your pulsing entrance.

“What!” You shrieked. “What are you doing, I’ve had enough!” But Ghost wasn’t having it. Removing his hand from your breast with one last rough pinch to your nipple, he replaced it over your mouth to stifle your shrieking.

“Oh be quiet. I’ll take great pleasure in taking you.” You were already pushing against him, but still, the little lubrication you did have allowed the very tip to slip in with a “pop!” It was then that Ghost removed his hand from your mouth, and you screamed.

“Help, help, Daddy!” you cried. Tears readily streaming down your face. Ghost looked down and almost came on the spot, blood. Just a little bit, from the lack of prep. It was at this point that he didn’t want you blindfolded anymore. He wanted you to see how much he was wrecking your body. He wretched the tip out and you sighed in relief before Ghost’s hand snuck behind your head. Your breath hitched. Was he finally doing what you wanted? As the maker of the knot, he was able to take it apart quite easily, watching as the piece of fabric fell from your face. He rubbed his fingers between the soaked fabric, groaning as you still refused to open your eyes, afraid of what you would be faced with.

“Open your eyes, pretty girl. I want to see your eyes when I break you.” Your skin around your eyes was puffy and red, your eyes bloodshot, your mascara running down your face, lips cracked and bleeding from how much you had bitten them. You were the definition of wrecked beauty in Ghost’s eyes. You finally looked between your legs, seeing Ghost’s massive cock resting between your legs. Your sobbing started up again when you registered the red tinge on his tip, evidence of the strain the first time. “Oh come on baby, I can make this easier for you.” He cooed. He quickly leaned down and pulled his mask up to his nose, gathering a large wad of spit that he skillfully spat directly on your clit, watching as it slid down your pussy. “God, what a sight.” Ghost groaned as he pulled his mask back down.

“Please, please don’t do this,” you tried your best to get him to stop. There was no way this behemoth was going to be able to fit. You were going to die. Ghost just laughed at you again, “Come on, you know that won’t work with me.” He smiled underneath his mask and once again guided his member to your entrance.

“Three… two…” He didn’t let you wait. He shoved just a little more than the tip in, and even though the spit provided some lube, you still screamed.

“It hurts! It’s too much!” Tears were streaming down your face, the hulking man bullying his way into you had started to seriously break your mind. You were going mad. You swear you could feel your body tearing open, your brain was screaming at you to get him to stop. There was no way he was going to be able to fit. He was insane. Ghost must have sensed your growing anxiety, as he cooed at you quietly that you were doing “so good,” trailing his fingers from the center of your chest down to rest over your clit. Starting to circle his fingers around your sensitive nub, your cunt slowly started pulsing around Ghost’s dick. He wanted to take pity on you, really, he did, but you just looked so pretty stretched around his cock like this. As Ghost went to take one of your breasts in his hand again, you squeezed your eyes shut, but this wasn’t for long as the second Ghost noticed, a loud slap could be heard.

“You’re not being a good girl for me, isn’t that what you want to do, be a good girl?” He questioned as you tried to focus your eyes on the masked man in front of you. He was looming above you, one hand resting to the side of your head to steady himself and the other returning his harsh treatment of your breast.

Out on display like this, your body was shaking from both the exposure and the fear coursing through your veins. The slap had once again made your head fuzzy, like every time you received impact from his large hand, your brain reset. Ghost leaned back to inspect the way that you wrapped around him as he went to slowly push a few more inches in. There was one thing you were right about, and it’s that Ghost’s cock was most definitely too much for you. But Ghost didn’t have the heart to care, he would make sure it would fit.

“Don’t worry princess, you’re halfway there.” Your heart dropped, your sobs getting louder. At this, Ghost laughed, reminding you of the heartlessness of this beast.

“Go easy on me! Please, just this much, no more, no more!” You cried, and Ghost responded to this by pressing just a little harder on your clit.

“You need to realize that the more you struggle, the more this is going to hurt.” Ghost grunted out. But you didn’t care, you wanted him away from you. You utilized the fact that your feet weren’t bound and kicked your heel into his back. You heard a little “oof” before Ghost stopped all of his movement.

Uh oh. Something told you that was a bad move. A low growl reached your ears and your heart dropped to your stomach.

“You know,” He reeled back, stroking at his chin in faux pondering “that was laughable, mutt. We should really teach you how to kick properly.” His eyes looked down at you with amusement before narrowing “But that was also bad, very very bad.” His voice was thick, reaching your ears with such ferocity that your skin immediately erupted in goosebumps. Slowly, you could feel Ghost pull out, leaving just the tip inside. Without warning, his hand shot to your throat, squeezing immediately and causing you to choke on your breath.

“Oh you poor,” he slid in another inch, “sweet,” another inch “pathetic,” your head felt like it was surrounded by pillows and your vision had black dots swimming in front, you needed air, you needed- “whore.” And suddenly, he was thrusting his cock into you, A scream was ripped from your throat, the lack of breath causing it to die quickly. Your body was on fire, you couldn’t breathe, and you were thrashing to get out of his grip. But without air, your body was losing momentum quickly, and those black dots were getting increasingly larger. He hadn’t even moved, instead he squeezed your throat tighter. “Come on,” he grumbled lowly “submit.” You hadn’t had air for at least a minute, Ghost looked down at you and very faintly you could make out his grin through the mask. This sick bastard.

Despite you being the one with a hand around your throat, Ghost also couldn’t breathe. The way your cunt was pulsing around his cock had him trying to steadily gather air. “Fuck princess, you’re squeezing me so tight.” He groaned, but if you could hear him you didn’t make any indication of it. Ghost didn’t want to let his grasp on your neck go, your eyes were rolling back into your head. He felt like a teenage boy again, gathering the strength to not cum right then and there.

Finally, when the black dots had become swarms in your vision, he released. Your chest was heaving as you gasped for air, your head feeling as though it was underwater. But then your thoughts came back to you, and you broke down again.

“Please spare me! I don’t want to die, please, just leave me alone!” Ghost wasn’t listening, instead going to pull his hips back slowly, teasingly, as your walls clenched onto him like no tomorrow.

“You feel so good though sweetheart, how could I ever leave you alone” he cooed, his voice still carrying a dark weight behind it as he thrusted forward again. This caused yet another scream to be pulled from your body. You were mortified; you had no idea what to do.

Ghost couldn’t fucking believe the scene that was playing out in front of him. The velvet that was wrapped around his cock was addicting, and it took every fiber of his being to not slam into you repeatedly. He was trying to be nice, trying not to jackhammer into you like there’s no God, and yet he could feel his self-control slipping away. Piece by piece, his resolve fell away. Instead of the spit acting as lube, your own wetness was starting to drip onto him, and it was turning him on to no end. Knowing your body was slowly giving into him.

Knowing your body was slowly giving into him was only making you cry out louder. It was getting to your head, feeling hazy and clouding right from wrong. You started really looking at this man, tears swimming in your vision. You looked right into his icy blue eyes, the military paint around his eyes making them look so stark in contrast.

The eye contact was the last straw. The way your teary eyes were staring so intensely into his, almost studying him, made him snap. “Oh princess,” a slow thrust here “don’t look at me like that” another thrust, a bit quicker this time. “You’re gonna make me lose my resolve.” He growled. With that, he quickened his pace, and oh how you reacted. Your moans graced his ears with a heightened pitch and increase in quantity. “You’re such a whiny little baby” he cooed, watching you squirm as he used the same tone to belittle you further, “Can’t even handle me like this, so pathetic.”

The tears rolled down your face. You didn’t understand how any God could leave you at the hands of a man so cruel, but for once, the extra crying seemed to work on him. Almost.

After patronizing you more and watching fat tears roll down your pretty little face, Ghost was hit with an idea.

As you closed your eyes, you suddenly felt his warm tongue lap up the tears that had trailed down your chest, causing you to shiver. “D-Daddy!” You moaned, not expecting the sensation as he slowly trailed up your chest, up your neck, to your jaw, and finally your cheek.

“You want me to be nice to you sweetheart?”

You nodded, eyes looking up at him with such want, such plea, that Ghost almost felt bad was what he was about to do. He went to pull out, teasing your entrance with the tip. But then you started wiggling, whining at the loss of the feeling, and Ghost just couldn’t take it.

“Too bad.” He growled, and with that, he slammed into you with no remorse.

The scream you let out could’ve broken windows, and oh how it was music to Ghost’s ears. “Oh yes baby girl, let it allll out, tell the world exactly who this pussy belongs to.”

The pace that he begun was like that of a jackhammer, your pussy was on fire. The squelching noises mixed with the sounds of your screams? Moans? (You couldn’t tell anymore) had you realizing just how ruined your bed was going to be once this was all over. If it ever ended. But slowly, against your will, your body started reacting. The pain slowly subsided, and it started to feel good. The fire was still ongoing, but it raged in your core instead. Every thrust left you clinging to your soul and you weren’t sure you were going to get it back. Just then, Ghost went to angle his hips just a little higher, grabbing your hips and starting to use you like a fleshlight. Your breath hitched, and suddenly you were gripping onto your covers for dear life.

“Daddy, daddy! There, oh my God, there!”

“Oh yeah?” His fingers grabbed onto your hips harder, adding more pressure and making sure it would bruise. He watched as you nodded before thrashing your head back and forth. He almost wanted to take his mask off so you could see the wicked smile etched across his face, but he knew better.

You started to feel the sensation you had when Ghost’s face was between your thighs, and you almost wanted to run from it. “No, no! It feels weird, I feel funny!”

Ghost took that as his chance to make you launch into orbit, using one hand to trail up your chest to your neck, and his other to rest on your clit. Making small circles, your mewls were just getting louder and louder. But that stopped when Ghost started choking you again, your hands trying to wrap around his arms and pull them away.

“N-No” you choked out, tears starting to stream down your face again. But for some reason, the feeling persisted. As he was thrusting into you with the strength of a God while cutting off your air supply, you realized your body was still feeling good.

“Come on baby, submit. You know you like this.” Your pussy was squeezing him tighter the longer he rested his hand on your throat. He reveled in it before he started feeling the familiar pulsing he felt around his tongue. The sensation had him loosening his grip on your throat, watching as you gasped for air.

���Daddy, I can’t take this!” You cried, digging your nails into his back.

He groaned “Yes you can angel, let go.” He picked up the pace by a notch, ramming into you like there was no tomorrow and God did you react. Ghost felt a final squeeze, before realizing his abdomen felt a little more wet than it did before. You had squirted on him.

The feeling was dizzying, fireworks were exploding behind your eyelids. The release was overwhelming, the way you screamed while digging your nails into his shoulders had you convinced there had to be blood. You felt electrified, panting heavily before realizing he hadn’t stopped, but his thrusts were faltering.

“Fuck, you can’t do that to me you dirty girl.” He grunted out. Resting one hand by the side of your head and the other on your breast, he started groping you before picking up his pace once again.

“W-Wait, I can’t take anymore!”

“Shhh, just a little more.” And then, with a particularly rough palm of your breast, he came. The thought of his cum being the first to fill you was enough to make his dick twitch to attention again, but he wanted to give you a break.

The feeling was unknown to you. You gasped quietly. You had just felt him twitch, felt the hot liquid hit your walls.

“Good job angel. You did so good for me.” He cooed, and you couldn’t help but writhe shyly at his praise. You felt him slowly pull out, and you whined at the loss. The empty feeling foreign after his onslaught. The wet feeling between your thighs seemingly growing by the second.

Ghost peered between your legs and groaned, watching his seed drip out of you slowly, before pulling his boxers and pants back up, turning around, and walking out of your bedroom. You tried to sit up quickly and fell back, whining loudly to try and show your distress. “Where are you going?” You shouted worriedly. You almost started to cry when you heard no response, but then you heard the faucet running. The large man appeared in the doorway holding a washcloth “I’ll give you the option, would you like a bath or just a rag?”

“Um… a bath would be nice?” You couldn’t believe you were letting this man pamper you after he broke into your house, but what else were you supposed to do? Your moral complaints were quickly quieted when he picked you up bridal style to walk you to the bathroom. He had somehow found the bubbles, and lined the tub ledge with the products that you used.

After finishing your hair, Ghost began to wash your body, taking great care to grope and caress each curve of your body. The bath felt too sensual, but you couldn’t be bothered to care when the water was so warm, when his hands were so comforting, when the feeling was so… nice. When all was said and done, he drained the bath, wrapping you in a fluffy towel and bringing you back to your room.

Pulling open your closet, Ghost’s eyes were assaulted with pink and frills. You had an array of dresses and outfits that he could choose from. He decided to randomly choose a pale pink dress that looked tantalizingly short, decorated with ribbons, lace, and bows, he could tell you were satisfied by his choice.

“Put this on princess, then we’ll leave”

“Leave?!” You panicked, scrambling away from him once again.

“You really think you can live here on your own? When all the maids have stopped showing up? What happens when you run out of food?” He growled; he didn’t have the patience for this.

“I don’t want to! Please don’t take me from here!” You cried, tears starting to well up in your eyes. “Daddy always told me I wouldn’t be able to survive out there, that they would eat me alive”

“Oh they would. Which is why you’ll be with me” He grunted. “You don’t have a choice little one, so make this easy on me, won’t you?”

The tears started falling as you nodded, grabbing the dress and slowly putting it on. You stood up and maneuvered around him carefully to grab white ruffle socks and some white mary janes, hearing Ghost groan behind you.

“You make it so hard not to rip your clothing off and take you all night long.”

You shy away from him, the statement reminding you that he was not a good man. As you go to grab underwear, he stops you.

“None of that, you don’t get that luxury”

You whimpered quietly, uncomfortable with the thought of going out without anything covering you. The dress was already short enough, one that you only wore when your father wasn’t around, and here he was, forcing you to go out of the house without. Too scared to complain, you grabbed a couple toiletries and your diary, before turning to him. “If you’re going to take me, can you at least tell me your name?”

His eyes narrowed. “Ghost.”

You opened your mouth to start to complain before shutting it again, accepting the answer. “Where are you taking me?”

“The base. Where Price will figure out exactly what to do with you.”

You swallow, not exactly thrilled with the answer but you nod anyways. Ghost checks over the room one more time before turning to you and picking you up bridal style once again, a shocked noise coming from your mouth.

“Can’t have you going anywhere sweetheart.”

And with that, you’re leaving the house for the first time in your life. He watches as you take in the woods around you, glad that the rain stopped a bit ago.

“Johnny will be waiting for us, you’re in good hands.”

You can't help but doubt that.

[lilacxoz]

When Satoru is in love,

Minors DNI

he’ll do everything to get to know more about you. He wants to know how different your life is compared to his. He wants to know what kind of perspective you were raised into. The things you interpret differently than he does.

“What do you think about the world we live in?” He’ll ask as the two of you sit on a bench by one of the many vending machines on campus. “You know, with curses and sorcerers?”

You’d let out a breath, your back against the wooden bench as your hands fiddle with the small aluminum can he bought for you. “As in like, if I think there’s something wrong with the world?”

Satoru would shrug, “sure. Under that context.”

You’d pout your lips in thought, his eyes focused on the chipped polish on your nails. “I guess…maybe there was always meant to be a balance.”

But what would top the cake, make him realize his sudden obsession was way more than he had anticipated, would be the small smile on your face.

“But I wanna be on the good side.”

When Satoru is in love, he wants to see you at your best and at your worst.

Which, he can admit, does sound a little selfish considering you’ll never see him at his worst. And honestly, he prefers it that way.

He’ll purposely ask you questions that are hard to answer and will gravitate towards sensitive topics. If you’re close to any of the other staff at Jujutsu Tech, then he’ll ask around about the things that are sensitive to you.

He doesn’t do it maliciously, of course. And he changes subjects quickly and seamlessly when he senses your irritation.

But he’ll do it over and over again, gathering every small fragment you give until he has a completed puzzle.

“You always ask me these mentally challenging questions,” you’d whisper as you laid in his bed on your stomach, his hand playing with a strand of your hair.

“Should I stop?” He’ll ask, his fingers pausing around your hair. Your eyes will slide up to his, your arms covering your lower face as you sink further into the pillow.

“No.” You’d say through an outward breath. Satoru would chuckle at your reaction, his fingers resuming their play on your hair. “Keeps me on my toes.”

When Satoru is in love, sex isn’t just sex. It doesn’t matter if you’ve done it with him before he fell in love or not, being intimate will feel so much more intense than before.

He’ll touch every part of you, kiss every inch with something so soft and beautiful. He knows how to show his love when he wants to, and being intimate is one of those moments when he does.

“I love you,” he’ll whisper when he first inserts himself. His body on fire, exploding down his spine as he tries to control his need for more. “I love you,” he’ll say into your neck before kissing you in your most sensitive places.

And when you say it back…gods, nobody could ever stop him then.

“Say it again,” he’d whisper, fingers curled into the fatty flesh of your hips. “Tell me you love me again,” his breaths are shaky, “I can tell you mean it.”

[yourlipstogodsears]

Injured on Duty Part 2

Summary: Robby stays by her side and checks on her.. his feelings for her become more apparent.

“Robby?” she says soft and sweet. It’s tone he’s fallen for. He has feelings for her but they can’t act on it because of the power dynamics in the hospital would be considered “taking advantage” of her.

His expression softens instantly at her sweet voice, his eyes locking onto hers. He swallows hard, pushing down the feelings he can't act on. "Yes?" He replies gruffly, trying to maintain some semblance of distance and professionalism. "What is it?"

“What’s the cafeteria got today”

He blinks, caught off guard by the sudden change in topic. A small smile tugs at his lips as he plays along, grateful for the distraction from his inappropriate thoughts. "Uh, let me check." He pulls out his phone, scrolling through the hospital cafeteria menu.

“Morphine makes me hungry” she mumbles.

His eyes widen slightly at her admission, a mix of concern and amusement on his face. "Morphine does that sometimes. It can stimulate your appetite." He continues scrolling, trying not to think too much about the fact that she's high on pain medication and still managing to be adorable.

“Do that have the mash potatoes.. fuck I could eat a boat load of them bitches” she says lazily her head lulling on the pillow side to side.

He chuckles, the sound warm and genuine. "Yes, they do have mashed potatoes. And I'll have them bring you an extra large serving." He sends a quick text, no doubt ordering her a heaping plate of comfort food. "Anything else my hungry resident needs?"

He nods when she shakes her head no, tucking his phone away. "Alright then. I'll make sure they bring it up to you as soon as possible." He pauses, his eyes softening as he looks at her. "You know, most people on morphine would be out cold by now."

“Thank you Robby I adore you”

He freezes at her words, his heart skipping a beat. He knows she doesn't mean it romantically—she's high on pain meds—but it still sends a jolt of warmth through him. "Yeah yeah, adore me all you want when you're high."

“You’re the best”

His face breaks into a genuine smile, trying not to show how much those words actually affect him. "Sweetheart, you're delirious." He checks her IV, adjusting the flow just slightly to make her more comfortable. "And stop making me melt right now, I'm trying to be a professional."

she nods and lays back on the pillow, “you gonna stay with me or do you gotta go be Dr. Mcsteamy elsewhere”

He lets out a soft chuckle, moving to sit in the chair beside her bed. "Dr. McSteamy has other patients, unfortunately. But I'll stay with you until your food arrives and you're settled." He reaches out, gently brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

she mumbles, “my arms feel like jello”

He nods sympathetically, understanding full well the neurological side effects of morphine. "That's a common side effect with pain meds. Your muscles might feel weak and clumsy." He glances at her slender arms resting on the blanket. "Need me to check them for you?"

“Iss okayyy” she slurs.

He smiles softly, appreciating her nonchalant attitude even in her drugged state. "Alright, just let me know if you need anything." He pauses, watching her for a moment before asking, "Are you feeling any pain right now?"

“Nope I feeel good”

He lets out a relieved sigh, a small smile playing on his lips. "Good. That's exactly what the morphine should be doing—blocking the pain signals to your brain." He stands up abruptly, making her blink slowly. "I'm gonna go check on something really quick, okay?"

He quickly exits the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. He walks down the hallway, his mind racing with thoughts of her drugged state and how adorable she looked. He checks on another patient briefly before returning to her room, closing the door softly behind him.

she smiles, “tell a friend to tell a friend.. he’s backkk”

He chuckles softly, rolling his eyes playfully. "Well, at least someone's keeping track of my whereabouts." He moves to sit back in the chair beside her bed, his eyes never leaving her face. "Feeling any better now that your favorite doctor has returned?"

“My emotional support grumpy attending”

He throws his head back and laughs, a genuine sound that fills the room. "Emotional support grumpy attending? I like that." He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "You know what? I'll take that title. Makes me sound almost cuddly."

He studies her for a moment, his expression softening. "You're something else, you know that? Most people would be curled up in a ball, crying and moaning after what you've been through. But not you. No, you're just smiling and cracking jokes like everything's fine."

she nods, “morphine is sooo nice”

He laughs again, shaking his head. "Yeah, morphine definitely has its perks." He stands up suddenly, moving to the foot of her bed. "Alright, since you're feeling so great thanks to the drugs, I'm gonna do something that might hurt a little bit."

“Oh?”

He grins mischievously. "Don't worry, I'll make sure to be extra gentle. I wouldn't want to mess with my favorite resident." He reaches out and gently lifts the blanket covering her shoulder he popped into place, his fingers brushing against her skin. "I just need to check something real quick."

He bites his lower lip, concentrating on his task. His fingers press gently against her collarbone, moving down to her shoulder. He grits his teeth slightly. He knows she's high on morphine, so her pain tolerance is probably through the roof. He presses down harder than he normally would, testing something.

He watches closely as her muscles twitch under his touch. He nods to himself, seeming satisfied with the results. He gently lowers the blanket back down, covering her shoulder once again. "Alright, all done." He walks back around to the side of her bed, sitting back down in the chair.

He watches her smile, feeling a strange warmth in his chest. He clears his throat, trying to shake off the feeling. "You know what? I'm gonna go get some coffee real quick." He stands up abruptly again. "Be right back."

She watches him leave.

He quickly exits the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. He leans against the wall outside, running a hand through his hair with a frustrated sigh. "What the hell is wrong with me?" He mutters to himself. "She's my resident, Off limits."

she lays in the hospital bed starting to fall asleep.

After a few moments, Robby pushes off the wall and re-enters the room carrying a cup of coffee. He pauses mid-step as he notices her drifting off to sleep. A small smile tugs at his lips as he approaches quietly. "Looks like someone's finally crashing."

He watches her sleep for a moment, his expression softening. He sets his coffee down on the side table and gently pulls up the blanket to cover her shoulders more securely. He sits back down in the chair, pulling out his phone to scroll through medical journals.

[uhhhj13iguess]

Hii, i totally understand if you don't want to write this. But can you do one with Peter where the reader has an eating disorder? where sometimes she just feels crazy amounts of guilt after she eats

hello hello, she's had some writer's block but you ask and you shall receive. wrote and rewrote this one a million times because me too girl, sometimes old habits really do die hard. loooooosely edited

old habits die hard

peter parker x fem!reader

summary: the world finds out you're spider-man's girlfriend, and the unwanted attention brings up some familiar feelings

wc: 1.1k

cw: talks about ed! feelings about shame and guilt with eating and body image, so pls engage with caution as it can be a sensitive topic! man makes a gross comment because men (ugh). petey is a sweetie at the end and always and forever

masterlist

"folks, looks like spidey has a new lover! sources tell us this is (y/n) (y/l/n), a student at our own ESU. no one has heard any details on the hot couple, but tip lines are open!"

peter stood quickly to turn the TV off, facing you with a concerned look.

you gave him a curt smile. "it's fine, pete."

"(y/n), i'm so sorry. i don't know how this happened, i-i swore i double checked before swinging off." he was pacing nervously, genuinely racking his brain for where he could've missed the camera. it was sweet, his concern for your privacy and safety. you stood to meet him and grabbed his forearm gently.

"peter, really. we've been together for four years now, i'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner," he gave you a sad smile.

"seriously, i'll be okay. i think it'll be a lot at first, but everything will die out and people will stop caring."

"but (y/n)," he paused to look at you, a genuine look of distress adorning his features. "the monsters."

you stifled a laugh, soon understanding he was serious. "pete. i'm gonna be just fine. i mean, come on. i'm spider-man's girlfriend."

peter beamed at you, reaching his arms out to pull you in for a hug. "that's right. and i'll always protect you."

maybe this wouldn't be so bad, you thought to yourself.

that was last week.

to say your life had flipped upside down in a matter of hours was an understatement. by early evening, your address had been leaked, and news vans flooded your block.

by the next morning, your class schedule had gotten out. hordes of reporters waited for you outside the chemistry building, none having any regard for boundaries. you were shoved around as strangers asked the most personal questions to you, microphones heavy in your face.

by that evening, people had found out where you worked, stopping into delmar's to ask you if it was really true'

by the next day, you were starting to wonder how much more of this you could take.

never before had you been so widely perceived, and it was eating you alive. to be looked at, to be judged, for everyone to suddenly have an opinion on you — it was your worst nightmare.

but you couldn't tell peter. he already beat himself up over it enough, and you couldn't stand the thought of worrying him even more. so you dealt with it. you did your best to dissociate and block everything out, and over time, it grew easier to smile and keep walking.

by the next week, one comment on your weight from a sleazy paparazzi had changed that.

"sweetheart, there's no way spider-man's able to keep all that up in the air."

instantly, you felt fifteen again. a shame, a sense of guilt around your body. something you'd worked on so hard for so long to keep away.

you didn't mean to let it get to you. you told yourself you wouldn't relapse after several years over a greasy man who found your work on the internet.

you didn't mean to let it get to you, really. you just told yourself peter didn't need another thing to worry about. he'd been through enough lately (even just... in general, as a person), and you refused to be someone who added to that stress.

you didn't mean to let it get to you, but everything had started to feel really hard again. it was the last thing you wanted to happen, and maybe that's what you felt guiltiest about: not being stronger and preventing it.

but there you sat, in bed with peter and a fresh, piping hot pizza he'd just had delivered. you stared as he reached for the slice, mouth watering as you watched the cheese stretch with his pull. glancing back down at your plate, the slice peter had served you was glaring back from your lap.

you felt nauseous at the internal fight you were having. torn between the guilt of eating, the damaged self-esteem, the shame of being this weak — you couldn't eat if you wanted to anyway.

so far, you'd been better at hiding it. so good, you'd even convinced yourself maybe you really just weren't hungry. only eating as much as you needed to. but as you sat in front of your boyfriend, you felt downright pathetic.

peter's soft voice drew you out of your head. "hey, bug. you okay?"

"yeah," you responded too quickly. "yeah, i'm fine. how was school today?"

he gave you a hesitant look. "bug, you've been really off the past week. you know you can talk to me, always. about anything, right?"

you looked down to your lap, setting your plate to the side and letting out a sigh of frustration. peter grew worried, concern adorning his features.

"yeah," you nodded, not meeting his eyes. "i know. i'm good."

he didn't like that answer. he said your name, sternly, almost cutting you off in anticipation of your dismissal.

"(y/n), come on. you're not talking to me about something. and i think it has to do with you not touching your favorite pizza in the world, refusing subs after your shift the other night, and every morning when you've turned down breakfast,"

tears flooded your waterline, begging to run free. peter grabbed your hands and sent the droplets down your cheeks.

"honey, i'm sorry. i, i just... i'm just worried about you, okay? i know you. and you haven't been yourself for a little while now."

and that was enough to break the floodgates. you curled into his chest, sobs racking through your body as you let him in. you told him everything — what people had been saying about you, your past, and the inability to keep the two separate.

peter held you the entire time, never once speaking. he gathered you in his arms, cradling your tired body as he listened to every word you spoke. he drew shapes on your arms, his breathing exaggerated to steady your own as you told him everything you'd been going alone. his heart was aching for you.

as you began to calm down, he shifted to lay you in bed, immediately going to curl into his side once more. with your head on his chest, he knew exactly what to say to put your mind at ease and get you back in control.

he was right. he'll always protect you.

[harukyuu2]

hello!! May I request a fic about wind breaker (including Togame jo) scenario when they "accidentally" walk in on you while you're changing? Thank you!!!!!!!!

-‘๑’-⇢ ˗ˏˋ Woah! Sorryyy! - wbk boys seeing you change:࿐ྂ-‘๑’- !! - Haruka, Suo, Togame and Endo !! (Endo's part is pretty suggestive, implied fem!reader in some cases, small revision only :p)

"Hey, where do you have your... FUCK, DAMN—" ♡ Boy smashed your door closed without even saying sorry, too much embarassment— he cant handle it! You didnt even notice him until he smashed the door, it was like a split second interaction! ♡ You never saw him SOOO red, like— he always blushes! But today?? You can almost see smoke coming out of his head, his red has the saturation on a 100% ♡ His brain isnt working, he cant even form a sentence to you or even look you in the eyes, he feels like he's gonna explode if he does. ♡ If he didnt run out of your house by now, you can reassure him its fine, but youre gonna get embarassed mumbles until he's actually able to think without that image in his head. ♡ At the end of the day, with a looot and i mean A LOT of reassureance and patience for his blush to go down, you'll get your usual nervous boyfriend again, maybe even an apology! ♡ Still, that image of you stayed in his head for more time than necessary— and he probably felt guilty, but also youre too pretty in his eyes! He isnt sure how he got you still.

"...You know im— im sorry or whatever for...fuck, you know! not knocking or somethin'...whatever, damn—"

"Sweetie, are you ready to left alrea— Oh. Sorry!" ♡ He's actually SO CALM, he stands like "🧍‍♂️" checking on you a quick second before leaving politely, you cant even hear him walking, the only sound in the room is his apology AND THATS IT. ♡ Tbh, its surprising you catched him in a situation like that. Suo, as a boyfriend, know everything you need or what youre doing, or what youre about to do...His mind is literally connected to yours— so him thinking you were ready and it was wrong? First time you caught him out of guard. ♡ He stares at you. More than he usually does. You could catch him staring at you and he wouldnt look away! His eyes are literally glued to you (They were already, but now more than always) ♡ Now, Suo can be mature— like reaally mature, but still he's a teenager! So he feels a little embarassed, he's just good at hidding it. Not lying, the image doesnt leave his mind and he feels really inmature for it! ♡ He doesnt know how to bring the topic without making you uncomfortable, but he needs to. So, at night, when youre about to fall asleep, pretty dozed off from reality, he finally turns to cup your cheek and sweetly murmurs— whether you remember it or not, well... he's just going to play it silly in the morning.

"That color and laces looked good on you, darling. Sweet dreams, sorry for not knocking."

"Babe, take your time, but just so you dont scold me later, fireworks start at— ...uh, sorry. Uhh, that color looks good on you! I mean, sheesh, alright— im leaving, im leaving..." ♡ SLOW ASS TURTLE. Talks with you without noticing youre changing. Another man who just stands like "🧍‍♂️" while looking at you for a whole ten seconds and he tries to fix it with compliments just for you to have to push him outside of the bedroom ♡ He hums outside of your room, wondering if he made you uncomfortable or something, relationships are something new for him too— so he has zero idea how to handle this situation at first. ♡ He wont lie that he finded you pretty, thats a normal thing! Well, he guesses...so he wont see complimenting you on it as a bad a thing, but he does understand that not knocking was wrong (and not moving quickly too) ♡ Being on his side was silent for a moment before he leaved a sigh, scratched his neck before ruffling your hair and apologized in a cute way— he learned to talk a lot better after his fight with Haruka and always expresses himself honestly with you.

"'m sorry im just saying this now, i should had knocked...anyways, you looked pretty though...i mean it! You know i love you, right?"

"Babyyyy...Hurry up so we can go on a walk already! do you want to— DAAAMNN, that one looks good on you! is that the one i gived you money to buy? i should buy you another, but in blue and— Dont push meeee...!" ♡ Clingy, whining, sassy ASSSS...He wont leave that room until you try to push him like a good damn minute. Worst of all? While you push him out of the bedroom, he would make sassy remarks of other colors you could try that would look better with a damn big grin in his face. ♡ Apologizing? Nah, he's more into the old good "teasing my girlfriend until she feels the urge to beat me!!", íf you two went to the shopping...yeah, probably points out a store that sells them only to annoy you more. ♡ Follows you around even if youre mad or something, complimenting you on the way and even if he feels playful,(Literally everyday) will squeeze your waist just to scare you and finally get your attention directed to his face. ♡ Once you two are back to your house, he's teasingly tracing the contour of your bra through your shirt, holding you close and not letting his eyes fall from yours, he tempts you through them only to finally squeeze you into an hug since he's a romantic one, of course..!

"Im not going to apologize for finding you pretty, babe. Were not in a backwards world, arent we? So stop frowning and i'll spoil you in more gifts!"

I got confused and i made headcanons D: But i'll probably make a scenario for Togame if you rlly want it !!

[paulyenvol6]

The Bolter (Part 2)

I feel like I have to write a part three because I need more fluff and Joel scenes with the baby but I kind of escalated with this and wrote so much so I'm gonna put it in a new chapter. Enjoy :)

Part 1

Contains: angst, anxiety, panic attacks, fluff, lots of tears, comfort, sweet Joel who's a little scared of opening up, reader has long hair, nicknames (honey, pumpkin)

Wordcount: 7,755

Masterlist

4 months later

"Let me at least help you with the box," Maria rolled her eyes but you stubbornly grabbed the edge to lift the object into the air.

"I got it."

"Oh y/n, you know that it's not good to lift heavy things in your state. C'mon just lemme…"

You frowned and gently pushed her arm away. "I said I got it."

"You're one stubborn thing," Maria said but defensively raised her hands in the air. Then she walked over to the table letting her gaze lazily wander over the maps and books laid out on the wooden surface.

"You know, Tommy and I went hunting yesterday… It was so cold, I think I sat by the fire for three hours afterwards. But it was nice. You know that I love spending time with Benjamin but every now and then I just enjoy a few hours just with Tommy."

You smiled and then wiped over your forehead with the back of your hand to remove the droplets of sweat that had formed there.

"That sounds good. But yeah, the weather is nasty at the moment."

Maria nodded slowly and then darted at you like she was uncertain whether to say her next words. But of course she did.

"Joel took Benjamin while we were gone."

The silence that followed her words was almost unbearable and you could have heard a needle drop on the floor. The soft expression on your face tensed, your jaw clenched and your fingertips prickled, but you refused to let anything show and so turned your back to your friend as you placed one item after another from the box on your kitchen shelf. To Maria that seemingly wasn't a sign clear enough to drop the topic yet because she continued.

"Joel has changed his nightstand. He built it with Tommy. And he has new curtains which are olive coloured and it's such a lovely contrast to the couch."

At first, you intended to just ignore her words and come up with a new subject, but when you heard Maria clear her throat again you abruptly turned around to glare at her.

"It's not necessary to update me about everything that's happening in his life, you know?"

She shrugged her shoulders, her nail scratching over the rough surface and her eyebrows lifted.

"I'm not. Just a few things that I heard through Tommy."

"His fuckin' curtains, Maria?" The addressed scoffed, her eyes wandering to you again.

"You know what's my take on all of this. I get that it's hard and I said this a million times already, but you have to talk to him. For the child's sake at least."

You forrowed your brow, a thudding ache in your temples.

"I can raise it on my own. I don't need Joel."

Maria sighed loudly, approaching you and putting a hand on your shoulder.

"I know you can. I'm not sayin' you need to get back together with him just 'cause you're pregnant. We're not living in the 60s anymore. But all I'm sayin' is that he has the right to know."

You refused to show her how deep her words cut and that she truly had hit a nerve. You had found a good friend in Maria but she didn't need to know everything.

"He made it clear what he thinks of children. Why tell him? Why bother him? He doesn't want children and so nothing's gonna change if I tell him."

Maria's hand on your shoulder tightened and you squirmed watching her through gloomy eyes.

"And what is your vision for the future?" she asked and you had to surpress a desperate exhale. "What if Joel's gonna see you outside and notice that you're pregnant? I don't even wanna start with what's gonna happen once you deliver the baby. You think you can hide it from him for the rest of your life?"

"Maria," you said, tears glistening in your eyes. It wasn't like you denied any of what she had already told you a million times, it was just that you couldn't deal with this right now.

Perhaps you should have moved on from him by now. Well, you hadn't. Your heart was in pieces, you rarely woke up without a headache, you just couldn't find any joy in life, and the effects of your pregnancy didn't help either.

"Please," you added and that was the moment your friend realised that this wasn't the right time to talk into your conscience.

She sighed and then pulled you towards her, her hand cradling your head just the way Joel always used to and you let out a long frustrated sob that Maria reacted to by securing her grip around you and soothingly caressing your back.

"Oh y/n, it's okay… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it..."

You granted yourself a short amount of self-pity before pulling back and rubbing over your eyes. The feeling of your eyes being all puffy and sore had become so familiar over the past few months that you didn't even notice it anymore, because you felt you were spending more time crying than not.

"Sorry," you apologised but Maria shook her head.

"It's okay. I'm sorry, I… I don't know, I guess I'm just tryin' to help you. But I don't think I am helping."

You chuckled bitterly but squeezed her arm. "You are. You are helping me by being here for me. I can't imagine how much worse all of this would be without you."

Your friend gave you a sad smile and then straightened her shoulders.

"I think I'm gonna leave now. Is that okay for you or do you need me?"

You pursed your lips, swallowing loudly because you felt that you actually wouldn't mind having her at your side every day for 24 hours but you couldn't be egoistic now. Maria had a family that needed her way more than you needed her so you forced a smile upon your mouth and slightly shook your head.

"No, it's fine. Maybe I'm gonna watch a movie. Or go for a walk."

You definitely wouldn't do either of these things. You hadn't been able to pull yourself together and go outside if there wasn't any need for it since the breakup and watching a movie only reminded you of Joel. You had caught yourself many times thinking about what he would have thought about specific scenes while watching a film and obviously it had only made you feel more miserable. So no, you had lied to Maria and would probably spend the rest of the time staring at a wall or sleeping or perhaps if you would feel unusually well today – although nothing hinted at that fact so far – read a book. But Maria seemingly didn't spot your lie and just nodded knowingly.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I think some fresh air would be good for you. Just call me if you need anything. I told you, Tommy is very understanding."

"Thank you, Maria. Seriously," you whispered and meant it.

She nodded again and then hugged you firmly, slightly swinging you to the side, the warmth of her hands wandering through the fabric of your hoodie and prickling on your skin. You almost would have sobbed again because anything that reminded you of Joel and your time together in the slightest way already caused you immense pain and right now you just missed feeling Joel's arms around you so much, you weren't even able to vocalise it.

Fortunately, you managed to hide how close you were to breaking down once again and lasted until the door was shut before letting the tears flow. It was an exhausting and tiring cycle at this point and you feared you actually weren't capable of making it stop. You woke up crying and went to bed crying and the worst part was, all it took was a book or a picture or even just a smell. You sometimes even felt ashamed about your behaviour especially when Maria saw you like that but what were you supposed to do?

One weekend a few weeks ago, you had changed your tactics because you felt you couldn't go on like this. It had caused a series of unplesant events which had lead to you swearing to never leave the house again if it wasn't absolutely necessary.

You called Maria one morning and asked her to go to the town centre and have breakfast with you. To say she had been surprised was an understatement. As soon as you had hung up, there had been a quivering, dangerous bubbling in your stomach, but you had ignored it and dragged yourself out of the house and to the café where Maria had reserved a table for two. But long story short, the morning had ended with your tears spilling in your coffee and all of the other guests giving you uncertain glances all throughout breakfast.

Not only had you completely embarrassed yourself and disturbed everyone else in the café, you had also come the realisation that Joel had surely learned about your dramatic scene as well. Jackson was a small town after all and dramatic outbursts like these usually reached the ears of even the most secluded citizens of the city.

After that you had given up just as quickly and spent the next days on your couch again and although you felt terrible about being so dramatic and not being able to move on, you didn't have the energy to force yourself to try and get out of the house. It was easier to sink into your cushions and cry thinking about Joel.

Was it helping you? You didn't know. You felt horrible most of the time but you had felt horrible in the café with Maria too and at least no one could watch your crying sessions in your living room so there it was. You preferred the quiet company of your blanket and hot tea over humiliating yourself in front of the whole town so it was an easy choice.

You slowly headed to the couch and rubbed over your swollen tummy a few times while sinking down on it. You were almost five months pregnant now and by now there was a prominent bulge and you caught yourself lovingly caressing it every now and then. Of course the baby was another reminder of Joel and there had been times when you had to cry over the fact that it had been him and you that had created the little child in your belly but the baby had also been a source of happiness to you during these hard times.

Watching your stomach grow, thinking about what it would feel like to hold it in your arms and imagining yourself strolling through the park with the child in a pram. You currently felt so miserable, you sometimes believed you would never be able to smile or laugh again, but you would have to. You had no choice. The baby was on its way and you would push through this horrible time for the baby's sake. Once it would be born you would care for two living creatures and while you were neglacting your welfare at the moment by rotting in your living room, you couldn't do the same thing to the baby. You had sworn to yourself to protect and shelter it so this was what you were going to do.

You slightly spread your legs getting in a comfortable position and then closed your eyes as you felt the quietness of the room make your head drowsy. It was quiet in here a lot these days. Your hand was still resting on your stomach, rubbing in soft circles because something about it never failed to comfort you although you sometimes involuntarily imagined that it was Joel's hand in the place of your own hand.

His large hand brushing over the swell of your tummy and his soft puppy eyes taking in each curve and line of your face while you sat on the couch for hours, the mere presence of each other enough for the two of you. His perfect fucking eyes… His curly soft hair…

Before you could even realise it you had drifted off to sleep and when you woke up an hour later the beautiful sun was gone, replaced by a shadow of clouds hanging over the town. You sighed and stretched your arms, a loud yawn escaping your throat. Then you looked at the clock and thoughtfully bit your lower lip. You weren't hungry for dinner yet, but you couldn't think of anything you were in the mood for. For a brief moment, just a flickering short thought, your mind wandered off to Joel again.

No. This wasn't helping.

You let out a dramatic whine, pressing a pillow on your face to muffle the cry and then hit with your fist against the armrest of the couch. Why did everything have to be so goddamn complicated all of the time? Why couldn't you stop thinking about him?

The bad mood hung over you all day long, even when you tried to read a few pages or play the piano, and finally you gave up and tucked yourself into bed at 8pm, your mind still wide awake.

The next day started equally unpromising and when you sat at your kitchen table watching your cereal with disgust and your stomach already rumbling although you hadn't taken a single spoon yet you figured that you had to do something. You would inevitably lose your mind if you kept going like this.

A sudden force took over you and the adrenaline shot throught your veins, making your nerves prickle and your heart pound in your chest. You pushed the bowl away from you to rise to your feet and let the invisible strength guide you towards the door. Whatever you were about to do, it was better than drowning in self-pity on your couch so you actively shut your mind off while your feet carried you to the wardrobe, your hands automatically reaching for your coat and then the door handle.

You were welcomed by sunlight which seemed to only encourage you and for the first time in weeks you felt something similar to hope. Your face was drawn with determination and pugnacity as you strolled through the streets and of course you involuntarily were headed towards a very specific building just a few houses further down the street.

Every confidance and energy magically left your body at the sight of the mailbox.

Joel Miller.

Just reading those two words did something to you and activated this longing in you that you so desperately had been trying to fight over the past weeks.

Joel Miller.

The words rang in your ear as if it was him who said them and suddenly you didn't feel strong at all. Suddenly you felt like you wouldn't even have the strength to walk back to your house anymore, your feet anchored in the alleyway beneath you and an invisible weight heavily pulling at your body.

Joel Miller.

You gulped and the sound seemed to echo in your head. This was so goddamn wrong. You couldn't sneak up on him like a pathetic weasel and show him that you after four months still weren't able to accept the fact that he had broken up with you. As if you hadn't embarrassed yourself enough already. But what was definitely even worse than confronting him was standing in his front garden like you were some kind of obsessive stalker who couldn't decide on whether to approach him or not so you chose to back out again.

Perhaps the option of talking to him would come up again, maybe solely for the purpose to somehow feel better, but you should think about it surrounded by your own four walls instead of right in front of his door. Yes, you would weigh it up and then if you decided to visit him you would come prepared and ready to see him after all those weeks.

"Y/n?"

You froze in the motion, your mind blank and your eyes springing open. Everything around you went silent. Perhaps you had only imagined the words in your head; it would be no surprise considering the emotional torture you currently went through. No wonder you were beginning to grow insane.

You hadn't heard the approaching footsteps and neither had you heard the loud breathing close to your ear but when you felt a hand on your shoulder you flinched and abruptly spinned around. You tasted copper on your tongue and your throat felt raw. Joel looked exactly the way he had when he had left you four months ago but in some way he seemed like a different human being.

"Y/n," he whispered or at least you believed it was what he had said because you didn't hear him but could only watch the movement of his lips.

Your view was shimmering and you swallowed hard to fight the dryness in your mouth. You had to say something, explain yourself and your awkward behaviour but it was hard to when there was this high-pitched ring in your ears. His lips moved again but this time you were incapable of figuring out what he had said and therefore you panicked. Tears stung in your eyes and your hands began to shake while you saw him scan your face through your blurry view. Your chest felt hollow and sweat broke across your shoulderblades, your fingers curling and uncurling like you were trying to grasp something.

In addition the cold air bit and nibbled at back of your neck, the wind like shards of ice against your sensitive skin. You cringed and felt your bottom lip tremble, your pupils nervously wandering between Joel's eyes when you felt his grip on your shoulder tighten.

"Let's get you inside. You're shivering."

You were so relieved about the fact that you had finally been able to comprehend him, that you didn't think about the expand of the content of his words until you stepped through his front door, the familiar scent of his home that reminded you of leather and sandlewood heavy in your nose. You sniffled, perhaps to enjoy the smell for a little bit longer and then let your glossy eyes wander over his living room, the comfortable couch you knew all too well, the armchair you had often sat in when the two of you were still getting to know each other and were too shy to sit close to each other and the floor lamp in the corner that radiated the most beautiful kind of yellow light.

You didn't know how long you were staring but when a hand gently pulled you to a chair you allowed it, your body fully trusting that Joel would guide you. He sat down across from you, his hands resting on the surface of the table as he watched you closely, your stressed state of mind not lost on him.

"Are you all right?" he demanded to know, his eyes twitching worriedly when you dropped your gaze to your hands folded in your lap.

You felt awful. NNot only had you probably unsettled and disturbed Joel with your unexpected appearance in his front garden, you were now in his living room, which brought back many memories, each of which hurt like a twisted knife stabbing you in the heart, and he was probably too polite to tell you to fuck off.

Perhaps he was just pitying you. Thinking of you as a helpless child that couldn't take care of herself and now he had to babysit you and make sure you wouldn't pull some other humiliating shit.

"M'sorry," you mumbled and hiccuped which made you press a hand on your mouth. "Sorry," you repeated before a hand reached for yours and grabbed it to squeeze it lightly.

"Don't," was all he said but you finally were brave enough to dart at him. "S'alright."

Silence. You had endured a lot of silence since Joel had broken up with you, but you didn't know if it was his presence or the fact that you had fallen in love with his cosy little living room as much as you had fallen in love with him, but either way, right now you didn't mind silence. No, you even needed it like air to calm your upset mind and the longer you sat quietly, the more you felt your heartbeat slow down and your brain starting to work normally again.

The minute of rest made it possible for you to take a deep breath and although Joel didn't take his eyes off you for a mere second, it was like the two of you had come to some kind of silent understanding and as if he could read your mind he gave you just the perfect amount of time before clearing his throat.

"Why are you here?" he asked and grabbed his coffee mug to toy with the handle.

Your pale face drew with fear because you hadn't been able to prepare youself for this question, let alone figure out why you were actually here. So instead of answering you brought your hand to the edge of the table, scratching over the wood with the nail of your thumb. Your hair fell over your shoulders making you feel more shielded from his piercing gaze and despite feeling ungrateful and horrible for ignoring his question you waited and waited. You didn't know what for, but maybe there would be some sign or some disruption or perhaps he would say something, maybe even tell you that he had missed you.

"Do you want some tea?" Joel suddenly asked and the sound of his voice made you twitch. It was so strange to hear his voice after weeks of missing it and imagining it in your head and now he was actually here sitting at the same table as you. And maybe he was just being polite or seeing it as some kind of charity work, but at least he hadn't left yet.

"Yes," you answered, your voice croaked and thin but his eyes seemed to brighten up a little, relieved to finally hear you speak for the first time.

"Okay. S'gonna take a minute, but I'm gonna hurry up."

He rose to his feet, his hand brushing over the backrest of his chair and when he headed to the kitchen door, an ache spread in your heart cutting off your air supply. Perhaps it was the memory of him leaving you all those nights ago but a fear gripped you and squeezed so hard you saw white for a brief moment. You wanted to scream for him not to go and beg him on your knees if need be but fortunately a little something in you remained sane and held you back before Joel would officially declare you as mentally ill.

But that didn't mean that you didn't do anything and watched him leave in silence. The burden on your heart was simply too heavy, the pain in your chest too sharp and the throbbing heat in your head too intense. Something was urgently punching you in the stomach, right between your ribs, as if to demand your attention and so you raised your voice and although it was high and weak, it made Joel stop before he could reach the doorstep.

"Joel."

He turned around, his brown eyes concerned but curious and the slight nod of his head encouraged you enough to say the following words. You didn't know where they came from and what made you actually express them, but you did and what followed felt like the passing of years and years of time.

"I'm pregnant."

The silence that haunted his living room was so thick and loud, it pressed down on your shoulders, pushing you deeper into the chair and your skin was prickling with the aftermath of your announcement. Now that the words were out you wondered what had driven you. Where the strength to make your tongue and lips form those words had come from. There had been countless occasions to tell Joel back when the two of you had been a couple but each time your body had refused to cooperate and now you had suddenly managed to do it. And although your body was tense with cold fear you felt relieved as well. Nothing was standing between him and you now and sure, it would be a lie to deny that Maria had been right. As the father he deserved to know about his own child no matter the context and no matter what he had revealed about his personal attitude towards children. It was only fair.

There was a crease between his brow but you couldn't figure out if it was caused by anger or overload or being moved or perhaps even felicity. You silently watched him giving him the time to process those two words that still seemed to linger in the air that was thick with tension. It had taken you a lot of time to understand what it would mean to have a child as well so you patiently observed your ex - boyfriend who now bit on his bottom lip and whose eyes seemed to be glistening with tears but it was hard to tell over the distance.

And then a muscle in his forehead twitched and the next thing you felt were his arms around you. Joel had approached you, stepping in front of you and leaning down to hold your head against his chest, your face pressed against his neck which gave you no choice but to inhale his perfect scent. It was so good, so beautiful that you were crying within seconds but this time it didn't matter because you were almost certain that it hadn't been you who had produced the quiet sniffling sound the now reached your ears.

He held you so firmly and tightly like he wanted to make sure if you were actually there or perhaps he was scared to lose you and you wished you had the ability to tell him that you wouldn't go away. How dearly would you have liked to whisper in his ear and express how much you loved him, how much you had missed him and how much you wished to never pull away from this hug.

To say that you had cried a lot over the past few months would be an understatement, and although you had hoped that it had helped you deal with your emotions at least a little, right now the crying part felt like letting it all out all over again. The pain, the hurt, the love, the frustration. Everything was slipping past your lips against Joel's broad chest and he caught it, his hand cradling your head letting you know that he was there to take away the sorrow and that you now didn't need to worry anymore.

"J-Joel," you whimpered just to do anything because the accumulated tension and emotions in you threatened to be too much. You needed to scream or squeeze something. Everything was a strange mixture of joy and happiness about finally getting to be so close to him again, sadness and despair about the past miserable weeks and fear that this wouldn't last. That he would draw back any second and leave you in the cold again, the warmth his body radiated fading any moment and his arms that held you so securely pulling away so you had to hold yourself up on your own again.

But nothing hinted at the fact that he would do so any time soon. His fingers were entangled in your hair holding you like you would collaps without him which probably wasn't far from the truth. He had stepped between your legs, his other hand on the small of your back to make sure every inch of your body was as close to him as possible. And then there was his breathy voice brushing over your ear like a promise. A promise not only to reassure you that he was here and that this was real, but that no matter what would happen, it wouldn't be like last time.

"Yes. I know," he said, gently rocking you at the sound of another broken cry. "I know… I'm right here, pumpkin."

"I don't want you to go," you sobbed, your hand pinching the hem of his shirt while your other rested next to your head against his chest.

"I'm not gonna leave you… Don't you worry…"

But then you felt his hand on your head loosen and you twitched in panic as he pulled away, your eyes round as coins and your hands instantly grabbing his chequered shirt to prevent him from leaving you.

"S'alright," he cooed and took your face into both of his big hands. "Just wanna take a look at ya."

Your chin trembled and your pupils avoided him, but his eyes were on you and so were his thumbs that gently caressed your wet cheeks like you were something fragile that he couldn't believe he got to hold in his hands.

"Joel…," you mumbled again, your fingers tightly closing around his wrists and your eyes pleadingly looking up to him under your lashes.

"Yes, pumpkin. I'm here. N'I'm sorry…"

He sounded… sad and genuinely regretful while he had breathed these words and hope was bubbling in your stomach. And even though you knew how dangerous it was, you couldn't bring yourself to question your optimism right now. This was too good and the blistering liquid that escaped from your eyes along with your twisting insides was evidence enough that this was just the medicine you needed. Not a reality check or a reminder of Joel's words about offspring.

"N-No," your voice was overflowing, your fingers digging into the skin of his underarms like you couldn't believe yet that he didn't intend to drop you any second. He tightly clenched his teeth as if he was in pain and then leaned in to kiss your forehead, his lips soft and careful, shy almost.

"I'm sorry about all of this," Joel whispered once he looked at you again. His eyes were glistening as well and you could make out the traces of tears on his face but just couldn't figure out what it meant. He gulped, his adam's apple moving in his throat before his gaze dropped to your belly.

"When… I mean… when did you find out?"

"A few days before…"

There was no need to finish the sentence; Joel slowly nodded, his hands remaining tight and warm around your face.

"An' why didn't you tell me?" was his next question and the blood in your veins froze at his husky voice.

The thought of being confronted with his dislike for children once more made your stomach turn and you didn't know if you would be able to handle it a second time. But now his question lingered in the air and not answering wasn't an option. He deserved to know everything and now that you had taken the first step to clear up the air you intended to lay all of your cards on the table. Still, it took you a few seconds to sort out your brain, to form the words in your head, and as your pupils danced frantically, your eyes staring into space, Joel let go of you, which you responded to at first with a disapproving moan, but then he pulled up a chair, sat down close to you and took your hands in his.

"S'okay. Take your time."

His thumb drew patterns over the back of your hand leaving goosebumps on your arms and you granted yourself a few more seconds of watching his beautiful thick fingers before clearing your throat and concentrating in an attempt to control the mess that was your brain.

"'Cause of what you said," you whispered, eyes twisted in pain at the memory. The wound had had over four months to heal, but it was still fresh and talking about it seemed to open it up and heal it at the same time.

You searched in his eyes for a sign that he understood what you were talking about but you didn't and so you ignored your racing heart and the way your body rejected to talk about it and explained to him.

"You… you said that you didn't want any kids… I wanted to tell you before, but… I don't know I was overwhelmed and then I planned to, I really did, but-but… you know there was our fight and then you said that and-and I was scared that you would… I don't know leave me when I tell you and you were angry with anyway. And then you b-broke up a-and… and I just couldn't."

There had been a break in your voice at the last word and your gaze had dropped to your lap. Saying these words had been hard enough already and looking right into Joel's eyes? There was no way you would have handled it without at least helplessly clinging to his body.

He didn't reply at first which you were more than thankful for because it took you a couple of minutes to collect yourself from the confession you had just made and once Joel trailed with his thumb over your knuckles, softly clearing his throat you felt strong enough to meet his gaze. You had to. You had to work out what it all meant for your future.

"I'm sorry. I really am." He leaned towards you again, this time kissing your temple, and you involuntarily grabbed his hand that was holding your head, feeling so in need of any kind of physical contact.

"I… Listen, I…" He exhaled loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers, his eyes closed and then made another attempt.

"I know I said that. And… I don't know in that situation I might've meant it, but…" He sighed again and almost furiously ran a hand through his hair.

"Jesus… I'm really not good at this stuff."

This time it was you who gently squeezed his hand and he gave you the faintest hint of a soft smile.

"The point is… I think I said it 'cause I just never thought having another kid would ever be an option. I didn't think about it. After… After she, you know… After it happened I was… I was at the lowest point in my life a-and I… I had all these thoughts thinkin' I could never have a child again 'cause I couldn't risk goin' through somethin' like that again. I had a girlfriend once an' at this time I was so fuckin' careful not to get her pregnant 'cause it was just a few years after the outbreak and I thought that havin' a child now would be the worst thing that could happen not only because of… you know, her, but also 'cause we were still tryin' to get a grip on everythin' and… you know, adapt… to everything."

He exhaled again but this time he did it out of relief.

"With you it's not like that." Your heart jumped.

"I… I don't know I met you and-and got to know you and everythin' was perfect… but it never crossed my mind that children… you know, were still an option. And that's why I said it when you mentioned her. Maybe 'cause it brought back old memories and old things that I promised myself back then and I just said them 'cause it was sort of an instinct. Or maybe 'cause I was angry at you and I just wanted to make you feel how terrible I felt after it happened so you'd feel bad. Make a scene or I don't know… Anyways, I didn't mean it. It meant nothing to me and that's why I couldn't even remember. And I wouldn't have said it if I knew that you were pregnant."

A single tear escaped from the corner of his eye and your eyes followed it all the way down until it touched the curve of his lip.

"I'm sorry, too," you whispered, the muscles in your chin twitching when Joel pulled your hand to his body to gently cage it between his own hand and his chest.

"No. Don't ya say that."

"But I am. I said awful stuff and you don't have to deny it. You had every right to be angry with me."

A sharp sniffle escaped you as a fresh wave of tears broke forth, mirroring the sun’s slow descent beyond the horizon. It was so sudden and intense that Joel's lips parted in shock and the was fast to move his chair even closer to you so your dropped head could lean against his shoulder.

"I missed you so much, Joel," you cried, the pain of the past 4 months crashing down upon you and you could do nothing but let it all out.

You surrendered to it, allowing the sadness, the fear, the anger and frustration, the regret and loneliness to get into your system and afflict your cells like a disease because you found it was the only way to eventually heal. And once again, you felt that with Joel at your side you were strong and courageous enough to face the sorrow, his support being what you needed to deal with the memories that you had been so frightened of over the last weeks.

"I missed you too, pumpkin. So so much…"

You clung to each other for life, seeking the comfort you had longed for so long and for the first time in months you actually felt that you could breathe freely. Nothing was restricting your air supply, no lump, no thickness in your throat that made you want to puke on the floor. You enjoyed the closeness for a few more minutes before preparing yourself for yet another thing that you felt you had to get off your chest.

"B-But...what you said the next day..." you began, looking up at him nervously as he retreated slightly.

Your eyes were begging for him, yearning for him to tell you that everything was going to be fine and that his reasons for breaking up with you were nothing more than meaningless excuses for feeling overwhelmed by circumstances.

Joel sat down again but didn't lose contact with your hand for a second.

"I know," he murmured and rubbed over the lower half of his face. "I… God, I don't know…"

"It was because of the fight, wasn't it?" you tried to help him, watching him precisely while he lay back in his chair.

"Kinda," Joel replied, rubbing his shoe tips together.

"Christ…," he cursed and you knew how difficult it was for him to express his thoughts. Joel wasn't the kind of man who usually faced his fears and vulnerabilities and talking to you about why he had felt the need to push you away from him? You couldn't emphasise enough how much you appreciated the fact that he tried for you.

"I mean, yeah, it kinda was 'cause of the fight. I… I did have doubts about the age gap thing sometimes, you know? Specially when we started datin'. But yeah, I mean you're a grown-up an' you can make your decisions and… maybe I'm an asshole but I wouldn't have ended our relationship because of it."

He nodded a few times, as if going over what he had just said and realising that he was on the right track.

"You know me, pumpkin," he then whispered, his voice soft and tender as his sparkling eyes took in your face and you couldn't help but melt under his gaze and at the sound of your favourite nickname. His voice embraced you like a warm blanket making you shudder and softly smile as Joel thoughtfully twisted his lips and the continued.

"You know that I ain't good at this stuff. Never was. An' I… I guess I panicked. When I heard you talk that night… and you spoke about openin' up and me drawin' back from you… I reacted. I reacted the only way I know and I shut down."

He paused, his lashes fluttering as he stared at the table as if there was anything interesting to see there.

"Maybe… I don't know, maybe it got too real. Maybe you became too real. The fact that you're here in – in my life and don't intend to leave and I… it was like a natural reaction. 'Cause it's what I do. I never was good at this and ever since… you know, ever since it happened with her I… I didn't want anyone to be that close again. 'Cause I fuckin' know what it feels like to lose someone like that. And I just… I saw in that moment how close you had gotten, y/n and seein' how much it hurt me that I hurt you… I realised that maybe I went too far with lettin' you in."

He sighed and let go of your hand, placing them on the table instead to trail his thumb over the rough surface.

"The thing about… her is that I – I just can't talk about it. It's… it's been 20 years and I – I just can't. And then you brought it up and – and it hit me like a… like a goddamn wrecking ball or somethin'. It was too much. But not just 'cause I didn't want to talk about it and it hurt so much but 'cause I realised that maybe…" He stopped again slightly shaking his head and sat up in his chair.

"I realised that maybe opening up to is what I would like? I mean I was stressed 'n' all and it was too much at once, but the thought of – of you gettin' to know more an' lettin' you in wasn't… so far away. And it was kinda pleasant to imagine talkin' to you 'bout it. 'Cause you're kind and – and sweet and I trust you but these feelings were so new and strange that I got scared and left 'cause I thought that would be easier."

He sighed like a massive weight had just dropped off his heart and perhaps that was exactly what had happened. Your tearful eyes were on his mouth as he still avoided your gaze, but as his flickering pupils sought you and your answer to all this, you drew your eyebrows together, tears threatening to spill again.

"I don't know if all of that makes any sense," Joel mumbled.

"It does," you breathed, nodding over and over again while a few silent tears ran down your flushed skin. "Thank you. For telling me."

Now it was him who nodded and to you it was a promise. A promise that Joel wouldn't bolt again. That he wouldn't take the easy path next time and run off because things became uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, Joel. I should've told you earlier. And I should've been more sensitive regarding… you know."

"S'okay. I didn't exactly make it easy f'you," he whispered, his voice hollow but stable.

You grabbed his hand that felt warm and soft despite the marks the years had left on his skin and clenched it so tightly that it must hurt but Joel didn't even flinch.

"And m'sorry too. All of the shit I said… Goddamnit, honey, I didn't mean it and I… I – I mean if you want it… I'd like to raise this child with you. Of course I would."

Your heart not only jumped, it seemed to pirouette. It was racing, pounding so loudly you could hear it in your ears and for the first time in months there was no weight pulling your limbs down. No, you rather seemed to defy gravity and felt so light that you would surely be able to ascend from the ground if you wanted to. But of course you didn't. All you wanted was to stay in this house with Joel until the end of time.

"Really?" you breathed, softly chuckling when his fingers wiped away a tear.

"Of course, pumpkin. I love you. I love you more than anythin' in this goddamn world. You're my air, my - my reason to keep goin'. I need you, honey and these last weeks have been hell."

Seeing your nose wrinkle as more and more tears streamed down your cheeks, he put his hands on your waist to pull you towards him once more and this time moved you to sit on his lap, arms sliding around your waist to keep you close.

"B-But then why d-didn't you come t-to me?" you sobbed, your nails digging into his shirt like your claws wanted to claim your prey.

"I did. I wanted to every single day, but I… I was scared that you hated me an' that I would only make things worse. I thought maybe you didn't wanna see me."

"I love you," you pressed against his hair, shivers coursing through your arms and your fingertips buzzing with adrenaline. "Never leave me again."

"I won't. I promise you, baby."

His fingers wove through your hair with tender precision, untangling every stubborn knot and once your hair flowed down your back like soft silk, his palms gently settled against your waist.

"We're gonna have our own l'il family," he whispered pulling back to meet your gaze and gently, carefully and lightly as the soft spring breeze outside brushed with his hand over the curve of your belly caressing you through the fabric of your sweatshirt and exploring where life was growing in that moment.

You bit your lip as you looked down at him, the colors around him suddenly brighter, the outlines of objects sharper. Even the shadows seemed to recede, the living room bathed in golden light, and the birds outside were singing a little louder than usual. This man had just lit up your world and everything from your own future to the future of this world seemed more optimistic. Full of possibilities and options.

"I'm happy, Joel."

The pats of his fingers stroked your cheek right next to the corners of your mouth, tracing your laugh lines and although it was still unfamiliar to smile again it felt natural to do so while sitting on Joel's lap, your torso pressed against him and strands of your hair hanging in his face.

"So am I, pumpkin."

And then you kissed him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@thoughts-of-bear-undercovers @bbabycass

And shoutout to @mrspascalsworld

[sshiostwordblog]

That's not stupid at all omg!! I'd definitely read it :D I think oc x canon and yumeshipping is awesome and people should do it more tbh

SOBS TYSM you're so kind (I ended up writing the fic but it's quite long. Feel free to skip for anyone who's not interested in reading), I just hope it's at least slightly entertaining to read. Here you go (It's my second time writing a fanfic and English is not my first language so... I'd love some feedback if anyone is willing to read.)

『 ೈ𝘈 𝘕𝘦𝘸, 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 ♡』 

Lee: Albedo Ler: (OC) Shiro Tickle fic summary: Albedo gets strangely accustomed to this new, sweet individual who came to Mondstadt. The issue is… this new friend is a little too eager. Word count: 2773 words

Nights in Dragonspine were undoubtedly cold, the soft breeze of the wind was a common sound to hear within the snowy mountain. At times like these, Albedo was used to dealing with nothing more than his sole presence along with the slight feeling of the cold air hitting his skin. Things changed for him not too long ago, when they hired a newly arrived guy to take a role inside the range of the Knights of Favonius. At first, Albedo paid no mind to him. He was reserved and very dedicated to his work, after all. When you’ve got a large number of mysteries to uncover and turn even the smallest of observations into a wonder, it’s certainly difficult to preoccupy yourself with the people around you. But this tall Anemo user, Shiro, who arrived recently and now worked as an art teacher for therapeutic purposes, had seemed to take an interest in the alchemist from the very first moment he laid eyes on him.

At first, it was one conversation. The blond indulged in a small interaction about their occupations, nothing relevant. He learned that the taller male apparently came from Inazuma, having experience in using art as therapy methods. Art piqued Albedo’s interest as a topic, obviously, and soon he found himself getting slightly more invested in getting to know his new co-worker.

A conversation turned into two, strangers turned into acquaintances and soon enough Shiro was looking for excuses to spend time with the alchemist in his free time.

“Could I accompany you today?” he would eagerly ask, looking into Albedo’s eyes with that warm smile of his. “Can you tell me more about that?” he poked at Albedo’s knowledgeable nature another day, pushing him to explain further. Shiro would take no for an answer, of course, but he would also eventually trick his way into getting a yes and spending more and more time with Albedo to the point it was nothing short of exasperating, if not a little endearing.

 He would insist in helping Albedo with research and studies, sticking around for the most complex things even if he had little to no comprehension about the subject. The difference in knowledge was laughable, clearly. Shiro would often know nothing about the complexity of Albedo’s researches. He was much simpler. Emotionally and psychologically intelligent, yes, but when it comes to Albedo’s level of smarts…

“Shiro, could you please pass me the Starsilver shards?” Albedo’s calm voice had requested in this current day after months of interaction, said brunet being next to him and carefully trying to recognize the materials the alchemist needed for his experiment.

Here they were, already more than acquaintances. How did Shiro get this far?

He turned around to meet the blonde’s eyes with a hint of uncertainty in his own, smiling sheepishly at him.

“Here…?” Shiro handed him something, yes, but needless to say… it’s not what Albedo had been asking for. Again, he couldn’t blame the brunet. This material he requested only grew in Dragonspine and Shiro was still not entirely used to Mondstadt. Perhaps he forgot. A fond chuckle escaped the blond, shaking his head in disbelief. He should feel bothered about being slowed down like this; with Shiro around, his work was ten times slower. And yet… he couldn’t bring himself to care much. Shiro had grown on him by this point, him and his eager self. He was genuine and transparent, but not energetic to the point of being tiring. Shiro was calm most of the time and a good listener. Comforting.

Still… he wasn’t as good of an assistant as sucrose. The brunet was clearly not assistant material. Not for complex things like these at least.

“Maybe I should just… get it myself.” Albedo tried to say, before meeting Shiro’s look of disappointment and biting back a small huff of laughter. He would’ve felt bothered months ago, but not anymore. He was slowly getting used to the brunet’s presence, even If he initially had trouble with maintaining relationships and connections. “Hold on, I can get it, I swear.” The brunet claimed, before rushing to grab another thing that ended up being the requested ore.

When Shiro showed the material and saw the smile of approval in the blonde’s face, his eyes lit up just like a puppy getting a treat. There was something about Albedo he just adored from the start. Time passed by as he observed how the alchemist worked; asking him about things and hearing him explain in detail about the subjects he found so interesting. Shiro didn’t understand a single bit, but he found himself quietly listening with a smile on his face.

He would perk up every time Albedo asked for his help, and there was nothing different this time. “Shiro?” Albedo called out, turning to look at him in the midst of his work. “I need you to use your Anemo vision on this for a second? Just focus on deviating the elemental energy here,” he pointed at the setup that was in front of him, clearly a mix of substances.

The brunet would be asked to do these kinds of things from time to time, it was nothing new. Albedo had his back turned on him, too focused on the items on the table in front of him to look behind. He already knew Shiro was there, so why bother.

The catalyst approached from behind and lifted his hand to reach over Albedo’s shoulder to do as requested, his hand already accumulating elemental energy.

A soft noise stopped him, however.

It sounded like a gasp coming from Albedo, who had flinched slightly. Did his soft whirl of Anemo hit Albedo by accident? Did he hurt him?

He pulled his hand back, tilting his head to the side with a hint of worry in his eyes. “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten my hand so close…”

“Ah— no, it’s fine.” Albedo interrupted, sooner than he would’ve liked. “It just brushed my ear and- um…”

All Shiro did lately was paying attention to Albedo, it took him less than a second to notice the faint, precious blush decorating the alchemist’s cheeks. It was an endearing sight… but also confusing.

Why would the calm and collected Mr. Albedo be blushing?

“…It just tickled briefly, that’s all. We can continue.” Albedo picked his words back up, clearing his throat and attempting to be professional about it, turning to look back at his work and avoiding the brunet’s look of realization.

Albedo wasn’t one to pause or hesitate often. He was swift and calculating. He had hesitated just now, because… Shiro was just so eager about getting to know him and pay attention to him. There’s a big, fat chance he would…

“Ticklish?” Shiro repeated, making Albedo’s blush grow the slightest bit, trying to cover it up with a small cough. He would’ve been professional about this with anyone else, but after getting to know this sweet, persistent brunet he knew Shiro would hyperfocus on that small piece of info.

Albedo had to regain his composure before the other got any ideas. “Yes, it is a… rather normal response within the body’s nervous system to touch. Why do you sound so surprised?” The alchemist tried to say, even though he knew that look on Shiro’s face. It was already making his stomach feel all fluttery.

Before meeting Shiro, these things wouldn’t happen. He would’ve been by himself, working peacefully without these silly interruptions.

“You? Ticklish? That’s… adorable.”

Being praised from time to time however… he couldn’t say he minded all that much.

Albedo left out a shaky sigh, bringing a hand up to rub his temple. “It never fails to amaze me, you’re the only person who can say those things to me so casually…” “And you could tell me to stop it, but you never do.” Shiro pointed out, before he felt a knowing smile grow on his face the moment he noticed Albedo looking away. “I’m surprised you’re focusing on that instead of your work.”

The blond shook his head dismissively and decided to continue. Distractions like these were unacceptable within his working ethics. He reached for Shiro’s hand and did the requested process to continue his experiment, assuming the brunet would just drop the topic.

That is, until he felt another soft, tingly breeze against his ear a minute or so later, making him stop in his tracks.

It elicited the same brief reaction, making Albedo flinch and gasp quietly before covering his ear. This time, he turned to half-heartedly glare at the brunet, watching how Shiro looked away and played dumb; pretending he didn’t just use his vision again for that.

“What?” Shiro said, biting back a smile. “Is something the matter?”

He knew what he was doing.

Albedo sighed yet again for the millionth time that day. “Shiro, please...” he tried to say, hoping to reason with his… friend. They could be considered that, at this point.

The brunet looked like he had stars in his eyes from the mere prospect of Albedo being ticklish. Albedo, on the other hand, couldn’t fully grasp why… why him? Why so much attention towards him? Why did Shiro enjoy being this close to him? Doesn’t he find it boring at the very least? He had quickly taken an interest in Albedo and done nothing more than wanting to be around him apart from working.

It would usually take a little more effort to maintain a connection but with someone like this, sticking around no matter how busy Albedo can get… deep down, it was a little refreshing.

Albedo’s train of thought was quickly interrupted by another tingly breeze against his ears, this time a little more persistent.

He couldn’t help it, a sweet giggle poured out of his lips before he could stop it. “Was that a giggle just now?” Those words reached Albedo’s ears, causing them to turn red. He looked back at Shiro, but was surprised to be met with an adoring gaze instead of a teasing one.

Shiro’s smile looked like it could split his face in half from how hard he was smiling, his eyes sparkling affectionately because of the breathy giggle he just got to hear. It was too much to process, being stared at so adoringly.

Albedo looked away once again, sighing softly. “Shiro… don’t look at me like that...” A pure, loving and affectionate look. He wasn’t used to someone being so transparent about… liking him. It was so obvious.

“But I’ve never heard you laugh apart from a few chuckles! Besides, laughing is therapeutic too.” The brunet said, suddenly a bit more lively than he usually would be, leaning closer to Albedo while looking at him with those pleading eyes and silly smile. “Can I hear more? Pretty please?” Albedo opened and closed his mouth in pure, utter disbelief; trying to get some words out. Only Shiro out of all people would tell the renowned chief alchemist “Pretty please”.

“I— I don’t see how this is—” The blond tried to say, but rapidly went silent at the sight of Shiro’s puppy eyes. How does one deal with someone so eager? The second that reluctant sigh escaped Albedo’s lips, Shiro knew he had a green light to continue his little shenanigans. It was almost immediate; cold, delicate fingers fluttering around Albedo’s ears, causing him to let out a silent gasp before dissolving into giggles. He scrunched his shoulders up and tried to weakly bat at Shiro’s hands to push them away.

“Shihihiro! Pfft- Aha- S-seheriously—” Albedo tried to say, small titters slipping past his lips. This was the first time he found himself blushing this hard. “W-we- I got wohohork to dohoho—”

Shiro’s soft fingertips were persistent, sliding down and pushing through Albedo’s silky hair that felt so nice to the touch, beginning to wiggle against his neck. It was, surprisingly more sensitive than the shells of his ears.

Sweet squeaks and breathy giggles came out of the alchemist’s lips as he gave up on pushing the brunet away, instead focusing on covering his own involuntary smile instead. Why wasn’t he pushing Shiro away? He was technically stronger, smarter, could come up with strategies swiftly…

But then all of a sudden, the sensations stopped. Leftover titters were still slipping past Albedo’s lips as he tried to recover, confused by the sudden pause. He was naturally curious too, after all.

“I would stop, really,” Shiro began, resting his hands against Albedo’s shoulders from behind. You could hear the smile in his voice. “But, um… the issue is… you haven’t really told me to stop now, have you? Why are you letting me have my fun?”

Before Albedo could answer, he felt those same cold and wiggly fingers slipping under his coat and squeezing his side. He burst into another fit of breathy giggles while leaning back; his back pressed against Shiro’s chest.

“Ahahahack! Wahahahait—” Hiccups started to leak through the alchemist’s sweet laughter, feeling Shiro’s free hand wrap around his wrist, pulling Albedo’s hand away and uncovering his bright smile.

“Your laugh is… so sweet.” Of all the things Shiro could’ve said to make this feel humiliating, he just… kept praising. Was it normal to feel this warm and fluttery?... Another mystery to uncover once this nonsense is over.

Shiro kept going for a minute or so, fluttering his fingers ever-so-slightly, poking from time to time, wiggling and even blowing air against Albedo’s ears. Work was, for once, the last thing in Albedo’s mind. All he could do was melt into a puddle of giggles until Shiro finally decided to let up.

He hadn’t noticed he was this ticklish, since nobody usually attempts such a thing while near him. Only someone as refreshing and casual as Shiro would pull out a stunt like this.

He didn’t know how many minutes passed since this started, or how long did he leave his work unattended. All he knew is that by the time Shiro had stopped, his hair was all disheveled along with his flushed face.

Shiro stared at the giggling alchemist, thinking it was a lovely sight. He’d be doing these kinds of things more often, to keep Albedo from getting engrossed in work.

“Hm, I think I’m the first person that gets to see the chief Alchemist smiling like this…”

Shiro could’ve pointed out Albedo was a mess, he could’ve pointed out how unprofessional this was. All he did, however, was talk about the blonde’s smile.

Calmly and carefully, he lifted his hand and fixed Albedo’s hair making the blond gasp, before Shiro pulled away and turned his attention to Albedo’s work. So casually. As if nothing had happened at all.

Albedo was still panting slightly, covering his mouth once again while staring at the brunet dumbfounded. What… what just happened?

“Th—… um…” He tried to speak, but it was an impossible task at the moment. He was a little too disoriented to figure out what just happened, his skin still tingling with the remnants of Shiro’s playful attack.

“You’re not going to get to work?” The brunet tilted his head innocently, his sparkling eyes holding no remorse or malice. His smile so warm, so satisfied. As if he hadn’t just… just…

“…Y-yes… yes, yes. You’re right…”

Albedo cleared his throat and fixed his clothes, trying to ignore that fluttering feeling that grew even stronger when Shiro fixed his hair so casually just a few seconds earlier. The only occasions in which he engaged in physical touch were when Klee hugged him. He wasn’t used to this.

The worst part was… Albedo couldn’t figure out whether it bothered him or not. Having someone around like this, so transparent and so strangely comforting.

Maybe, just maybe… he should be slightly more permissive around Shiro next time instead of being so careful.

[professional-rat-eater]

"Hey anon, these are not equivalent and I think you know that. Yes, I’m sure there more people like Armand who were groomed by a 2000 YEAR OLD VAMPIRE in the 16th century. Maybe there’s enough for them to start a support group for each other."

Genuninely I don't understand why being a fictional vampire only works when it comes to giving nuance to the the way DM is depicted in the story but not Armand Marius

So Marius does deserve nuance. The nuance does not change what he is. That was the entire point I was making. The same is true of Armand and every other character. His actions are his actions. I think the inner workings of Marius’s brain are fascinating, but he did what he did. Once we agree on that, then we can get into the nuance.

Marius being a vampire only exacerbates and adds to his predatory nature. His type of evil is very real. That’s why it gets to me and a lot of other people, compared to other characters whose behaviour tends to feel very heightened. It’s not that the other vamps aren’t also doing things that are real, but hurting children is hurting children and most people tend to be more sensitive towards that topic than 90% of other things. Yes, he’s 2000 years old and a vampire. But he’s still a pedophile, and the way he treats Armand, all the many types of abuse he subjects him to, not just sexual, are incredibly real. I could take apart his dialogue line by line and compare it to the behaviour of real pedophiles. I could also take apart Armand’s behaviour line by line and highlight exactly when he’s continuing the cycle of abuse that was started by Marius (and due to all his other many instances of trauma but that’s a whole separate post.)

It’s not to say it’s not also true that Armand is predatory. He is. All the vampires are, but my post was not a deep dive or character study on him or Marius. It was a point about the way we approach analysis of him and characters in general. Frankly I’d need thousands and thousands of words to do him justice. I’ve made more nuanced posts in the past, and I’ll probably make more in the future because I actually like him as a character. You shouldn’t assume one post completely encompasses every last opinion I have on him or is anything close to a full analysis, especially when that’s not that the post was about. Marius deserves nuance as much as anyone else. If he weren’t a believable, layered character, I don’t think I’d care about him half as much as I do. He moves like a real predator and his vampiric abilities have little to do with it, but they do make it worse.

But your point isn’t disconnected from the point I was actually making. I love talking about Marius and Armand and Daniel and every other vampire, but how on earth can we be expected to have sincere conversations when there are people repeatedly denying key parts of who these characters are? It would be like attempting to downplay Armand’s involvement in Claudia’s death. It doesn’t make sense to do it.

Devil’s Minion, from an objective standpoint, begins with Armand stalking and terrorising Daniel and attempting to recreate key elements of what he endured under Marius’s care, but with himself as the perpetrator. Marius’s relationship with Armand, from an objective standpoint, begins with Marius acquiring a child who had been repeatedly subjected to sexual abuse from a brothel, and beginning a sexual relationship with him.

Both of these things are true. Though I tend to write sympathetically towards Armand, if you went through my posts I think you’d find that I mention how evil he is pretty consistently. If he weren’t evil, he wouldn’t be the character I like so much. If Marius weren’t so well written, I don’t think I’d hate him as much. But ultimately my point is that in order to discuss these characters, we need to begin with an honest foundation. Pretending Marius wasn’t a child predator does the opposite of that. He was one. That’s just a fact. It’s not all he was, but it was still a pretty significant part of him.

[silverofthunder]

Skeletá •• review

i need to do this because reasons. not a professional music person so not gonna be that kind of review but anyway...

.

Piecefield: the choir opener is so beautiful and i love how this song is so hopeful. liked this already on the first listen, fell in love after that.

Lachryma: this song was a hit for me right from the start. i love everything about this song. this just scratches my brain the right way.

Satanized: the first single and i wasn't immediately sold but when i listened to this more, i fell in love. very catchy and groovy.

here i need to say that the 3 singles didn't really prepare me for the rest of the album. after these everything just went into a very unexpected direction.

tbh, there was like a millisecond when i thought i wouldn't like the album but the feeling passed quickly.

Guiding Lights: excuse me but this hit right in the feels and then i was sobbing. love the rawness of vocals, it's just fucking beautiful. ♡ i was waiting for these ballads and this delivered.

De Profundis Borealis: a beautiful start, and then boom, a unexpected change but damn this is so good. and the ending, fading part, is lovely.

Cenotaph: knowing what this is about, i thought this would be sadder but instead this is quite hopeful. still cried while listening to this. very synth heavy and i love it. a beautiful song in its own way. ♡

Missilia Amori: i'm a simple woman. when a song like this starts to play, i'm on my knees instantly. i don't care how cheesy or corny or whatever the lyrics are, this is rock 'n' roll for me baby. instant hit for me. 🫠 this FUCKS. very old school, btw, too.

Marks Of The Evil One: aaahhh, awesome! i'm sure this is gonna be playing in my head at some point. nailed again!

Umbra: already a fan fave it seems and i can see why. synths in the beginning, yeaaahhh baby. the cowbell! tbh, i didn't expect this fast paced song and i was like "???" at first but hey, this is so damn fun! the guitar + synths sound so cool.

Excelsis: why did you have to do this TF? like damn, i didn't need to cry more. such a beautiful song to end the album. 😭❤️ this is so comforting but also sad and i can't. i probably can't ever listen to this without crying. the ending lines have destroyed me. 😭

...

overall thoughts:

very different from previous albums. this really goes into the core of being human. damn, i'm still so amazed by this album and i will be so for a very long time.

i love how more raw the vocals sound and i think Tobias really showed his best vocals in this. he has such a unique and beautiful voice (and yeah, i've said that million times but i feel like i can never appreciate his voice enough). ♡

also, i kinda feel this isn't as polished album but it's not a bad thing. it just makes everything feel more... authentic. this kinda goes all over the place, yet it makes total sense. because that's what being human is.

for me, it's easy to connect with this album. this was just what i needed now. ♡

and then the hot topic: where does this album settle in my list?

well, i have to say that i don't want to compare this with other albums at all. i love the album and i love the change that has happened. this album shook me but i'm glad it did. change is not a bad thing and oftentimes it's even needed in life to be able to continue forward.

so yeah, the album slaps hard.

[lover-of-mine]

Hi, I'm new in your blog and I wanted to ask you about Eddie and Shannon's relationship, Eddie's sexuality, and how it's seen by the fandom. Aside from the fact that I'm a buddie shipper, seeing various discussions about Eddie's sexuality and how it affects his relationship with Shannon makes me wonder if his character is bisexual like Buck or gay like Michell. We know that the show is capable of handling a plot about a seemingly heterosexual character who later accepts his sexuality. Michell is proof of this. Although his sexuality is presented to us from the first episode, it's what breaks his relationship with Athena. In addition, in a way, although we understand that Michell loved Athena as a wife and mother of his children and still loves her, this feeling isn't romantic, and it's something he knew about himself but refused to accept. He said, "I thought you could fix me", this suggests that even though he repressed his sexuality, he was always aware of it. With Eddie and Shannon this is different, there are analyses that talk about Eddie loving her but not being in love with her, and Eddie's plot sometimes feels contradictory to his own experience with Shannon, marriage due to pressure from the church, parents, pregnancy. In itself, their marriage didn't fail because Eddie didn't love her but because they were two young people with the pressures of a child with a disability, they were two people who possibly loved each other but Eddie was not a stable partner in the first years (understandable from both points of view), what we know about the Diaz grandparents, among other things, is proof that perhaps in another context they could have loved each other. But then you have Shannon asking for a divorce after she found out she wasn't pregnant (again both almost repeat the same story, the ending is uncertain because the variables changed), even so this is like a slap in the face for Eddie because at the end of the day Christopher and this supposed new baby was what would lead them to unite their lives again, not really a romantic feeling as a couple. Kim's arc is where I'm most confused about Eddie and his relationship with Shannon. He tries to recreate certain moments of him and Shannon together with Kim, his words when Kim dresses up as Shannon, and the deleted scene of Eddie and Chris talking about how he met Shannon. I know there's analysis of that scene focusing on Buddie and how it parallels their relationship, but I don't want to make it all about Buck, I'm not even sure that even deleted scene means that, since ultimately it would only reinforce Eddie's romantic feelings for Shannon. These conjectures are what make me question whether Eddie is bisexual, demisexual, or gay. I feel like in this case, Eddie being gay blurs Shannon's role as if she never existed and makes it all about Buddie. At the same time, I feel like Eddie could have the same storyline as Michell. I'd like to know your opinion on this topic or if you have any posts about it.

Hi, darling, welcome to the madness. I don't like discussing this but I have thoughts, so...

First of all, I don't think Eddie is strictly gay, never did. Second of all, I don't think Eddie is equivalent to Michael. Third of all, in the end, I genuinely don't care as long as Eddie is out and with Buck.

Let's discuss Michael first since it's the first half of your argument and he is the thing that people bring up the most and it's easier to evolve into what I want to say. When I say they are not equivalent, I mean the way that the show never tried to make us to believe Michael was straight, we are introduced to him as he comes out as a gay man who wanted a family and was with Athena because she was his best friend and could give him that. At no point, do we have the concept of him being in love with her or attracted to her. So you don't need nuance there. Michael was always gay to us. That's why that works.

When you try to apply that to Eddie, you need way more nuance than the show is willing to give him. I think the fandom decided that Eddie didn't love Shannon because they don't like Shannon and they keep pretending that him loving her doesn't make sense. You can dislike Shannon, she was written as irredeemable and that creates many problems, but Eddie loved her. That's an established fact of Eddie's character whether people like it or not. Their relationship didn't fail because of a lack of love, or even a lack of sexual chemistry considering Christopher didn't magically come to be and they were fucking a lot when she came back. We can sit here and discuss the nuances between love and in love and how a gay man can deeply love a woman who changed his life and still be gay and how he didn't really enjoy sex with her, he just didn't know anything else until the end of times, but the reality is that Eddie believes he was in love with Shannon. And like it or not he was presented to us as enjoying sex with her in a way that was explicitly opposite to Michael and Athena because sex was a problem in their relationship, as exemplified by Michael saying Athena complained he "doesn't lay her like other men" or their therapy sessions and the celibacy of their relationship. Eddie and Shannon were ending up in bed all the time. "Oh, we suck at this." "Really? 'Cause I feel pretty good about how that went down." People can tell me they only had sex once and she got pregnant and that the s2 sex was performative and Eddie didn't want to do it or like it all they want, but that is a lie. The thing with them is actually about how love is not enough and they can't force it to be for the sake of "being a family" in a way that Shannon understood and asked for a divorce over it, but Eddie never managed to get there because she died before he could move on.

Eddie will never be able to look at their relationship objectively. Shannon is dead and Eddie was forced into a space where he has to romanticize her because he needs Christopher to have someone in his life that gives his mother grace. The thing with Kim is about the fact that Eddie misses her. He will always miss her. She was half his life. She's the mother of his child. They were married for years and as much people like to pretend he was deployed for their whole marriage, that's just not true. And she died in front of him. Shannon is a core part of what makes Eddie Eddie. And while the same is true for Athena and Michael, they were able to work through the separation to the point where they could see the way they were best friends and co-parents and nothing more. Eddie is never gonna get that chance. Eddie never got closure and he will never get it the way he needs it. Everyone in his family hates Shannon to a degree that forces him to put her on a pedestal to counter that, so that he can give Christopher pieces of the woman he loved, not the woman who left them because Chris deserves to grow up not hating his mother. So he has no one who knew them both that can help him untangle his feelings. So he will never be in a situation where he questions if he was in love with her or not. He can question whether she was the love of his life or not, and he can question the fantasy he created where they work things out, but I don't think the show cares enough to allow Eddie to question the very nature of their relationship to that degree.

Which is why I don't think they can pull off making Eddie strictly gay. They would have to put in question everything Shannon meant for Eddie's character and frankly, given how careless they are with Eddie's story, I don't want them to try and question that. It would be bad. Plain and simple. Eddie is not the bi stereotype like Buck was, and confirming Shannon as Eddie's high school best friend and making him demi would be cool even if expecting the show to deal with micro labels is a crazy dream, but for me the ideal scenario is Eddie unlabeled. Put him in an "I loved Shannon then, I love Buck now, I don't care what that makes me" and make him unlabeled. He's not gay, he's just not straight. Because anything else is putting into question the core of Eddie's character construction. Eddie was always written as the widower (his archetype is widower single father and it has been since he was introduced) and to make him gay would make the audience assume he never loved Shannon, because let's face it, the ga does not have enough interest to understand that sexuality is fluid and a gay man can love a woman and still be gay, and that would make his whole character fall apart.

Buck hasn't been labeled in universe, let's just not label Eddie.

[zosan-secondchances]

The Pirate King of the North: Part 25

Warning: Long post ahead and some One Piece spoilers. Contains strong language and explicit content.

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 (Special) | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26

Doflamingo

This is a fun little new trick, Fukaboshi. Did Daddy teach it to you? What say you show it off next time we have another dinner party, hmm?

Fukaboshi

Don't change the topic. And don't force my hand, brother. You wouldn't want to do this the hard way.

Doflamingo snarls at him angrily and lunges forwards but is only able to nudge his head and shoulders. Fukaboshi's water abilities remain strong. The ever swirling vortex that holds the Warlord constricts his body in place.

Doflamingo

Don't you dare call me that, fish scum. I never have thought of you as one.

Fukaboshi

You're right. I shouldn't. Especially after everything you've done.

It's a shame…. You had every potential to do good and look at you now.

Doflamingo

Tch. You don't know me at all. 

Fukaboshi narrows his eyes and hovers himself away, pulling the trident from the Warlord's face to slam its base onto the sandy floor.

Fukaboshi

No…. Something's changed.

Doflamingo

Nothing has changed. I've always been like this.

The mermaid king hesitates and carefully observes the state of the man in front of him. Seeing that the Warlord is too maddened, he judges that he will have no chance to change his heart by appealing to him at this point. He presses on back to the original matter at hand.

Fukaboshi

Tell me where Sanji is, Doflamingo.

At that, the tall blonde remains quiet. Through the cracked lenses of his sunglasses, the mermaid king sees his eyes move ever so subtly to the side, towards the shore where he'd emerged from. When he follows his gaze, he sees a dark shape half buried in the sand. He approaches it.

Doflamingo

Don't!

Fukaboshi pauses on his tracks and glances at him with an intrigued brow. He continues his careful approach. As he gets closer, Doflamingo’s rage worsens.

Doflamingo

I SWEAR, IF AS MUCH AS LAY A SINGLE FINGER ON HIM–!!!

Fukaboshi 

Sanji?

The mermaid king's eyes widen in surprise when he recognises the stranger's familiar blonde hair and curled brows. He doesn't question his new form but instead, he gently scoops him up and carries him in one of his large arms.

Doflamingo

WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY?! When I get out of here, I will gut you and the rest of your family!

Fukaboshi ignores him and quietly floats inland, never taking his concerned gaze off the unconscious young man.

Fukaboshi

Heart Pirates, I need your assistance.

From behind a large boulder near one of Jaya’s forests, Bepo, Penguin and Shachi come out of hiding and run towards him.

Bepo

Did you find them, King Fukaboshi?!

Fukaboshi 

Keep Sanji safe. I think he was knocked out cold.

Bepo

Ahh!! Chore Boy! Give– uh…

As soon as the mermaid king passes the young man into the arms of the polar bear mink, the three Heart Pirates stare at the stranger in confusion. After a short moment, Penguin breaks the silence.

Penguin

We've been doing this for a very long time but not once have I seen this as a symptom for getting “knocked out cold”.

Shachi

Are you sure it's him, Mr. Fish King?

Fukaboshi

I am certain.

Bepo

He looks so…different. Younger! How can you be so sure?

Fukaboshi

Just a gut feeling.

And…Doffy there isn't too happy.

They all turn their attention to the still writhing and raging Warlord in Fukaboshi's water hold.

Bepo

You did it…. You really did it! You captured him! Captain will be so happy!

Shachi

I'll get a dry towel for Chore Boy.

Penguin

Right! Let's get to work!

Bepo

Right!

The Heart Pirates hurriedly make their way towards a nearby treeline and settle the younger Sanji on the soft grass to nurse him.

Doflamingo

I will kill. Every. Single. One of you.

DO YOU HEAR ME?!

Fukaboshi glares at the Warlord and returns to stand in front of him. He holds his trident aloft and slams the blunt end onto the ground. From the impact, a loud gong-like tune emanates from the weapon and reverberates through to its very tips. The sand shifts like a wave of water and the force travels out to the open sea. Doflamingo makes a growling sound at the back of his throat but stops struggling about.

Reiju

Fukaboshi!!

A familiar shape appears from above. With Law on her back, the pink commander descends and takes a run towards the mermaid king. When she gets closer, they notice her bulging heart-shaped eyes and legs spinning about, moving around left and right like a toy top.

Reiju

FUKABOSHI, MY BEAUTIFUL PRINCE!!! Your long wavy locks and bedazzling scales never fail to brighten my day!

Please, PLEASE ignore the ugly man hanging off me! My heart only belongs to you!

Law

QUIT IT!! You’re making me dizzy! Put me down!

Reiju

Psh.

When Reiju finally settles, Law spots the water-bound Warlord and gawks at him in bewilderment. He hops down from the commander's back and approaches Doflamingo cautiously.

Law

You…. How is this possible?

Fukaboshi

You must be Trafalgar Law. I heard so many good things about you.

Law

A pleasure, Your Highness. I assume this is your handiwork?

Fukaboshi

Please, just “Fukaboshi” will do. Any friend of the Pirate King is a friend to Fish-Man Island. And yes. A mutual friend of ours insisted I get more creative with my combative skills so… here we are.

Doflamingo

Well, well…what lovely new friends we’re all making today. Don't think this is all over, Law. You're the reason why this all started in the first place.

Reiju

I think it very much is the end for you, Doflamingo.

Great job, Fukaboshi! You really did it this time!

Fukaboshi half bows to her with an appreciative smile.

Reiju

Have you seen Sanji and Roronoa Zoro by any chance? He and this one had thrown themselves off Skypiea and fought midair. We couldn't catch up in time and lost sight of him.

Fukaboshi doesn’t look too impressed at the sound of the Demon Warlord’s name but as he’s in the audience of one of his favourite Vinsmokes, he keeps his composure.

Fukaboshi

I'm afraid I haven't seen Roronoa Zoro. I've just called for my forces to return. Hopefully they will have better news for you. As for Sanji–

The tide rapidly drops and all eyes turn towards the body of water. When it rises, a large form emerges from the depths, accompanied by two gigantic seakings tailing it closely. The creatures remain partly submerged and stop just before the shallower side. Shirahoshi floats with her own bubble over the land to join the crowd, looking tired and emotional.

Shirahoshi

Big sister Reiju! I'm so glad to see you safe! Did you find Sanji?!

Reiju

Erm…

Fukaboshi

The Heart Pirates are tending to the Pirate King as we speak.

Reiju

Oh, Fukaboshi, you're the best!!

Reiju jumps to kiss Fukaboshi on the cheek then immediately runs inland to join the Heart Pirates by the treeline.

Shirahoshi

This is great news about Sanji! But uhm…big brother, my seakings found a uh… sky seaking, I guess?

Fukaboshi

A…what?

They look towards the seakings in the water. When Shirahoshi waves at them, they shift their long tails apart to reveal a giant snake partly wrapped over their long bodies for support.

Law

NOLA?!?

The two giant creatures assist Nola towards the shore, curling and stretching their long tails to carefully carry her through. Thanks to them, her head stays above the surface but the rest of her body falls limp in the waters. They can tell that she's in no shape to move. Her body is riddled with scorch marks and cuts which Law deduces were from the fires and the raiders’ attacks. He quickly trudges through the shallow end and places a gentle affectionate hand on her massive nose.

Law

What are you doing all the way down here? How did you even get here? Is Skypiea gone for good?

The creature coos softly at recognising his voice. She weakly opens her eyes and looks straight at him. To Law’s surprise, she winks. With a groan, she slowly opens her mouth widely and everyone on the island gasps in shock.

Inside her gaping maw, the entire population of Skypiea stood. They cover and squint their eyes until they adjust to the light. At which point, Wyper, Gan Fall and Conis carefully make their way down from Nola's tongue then through between her fangs.

Wyper

So this is the blue sea…. The air is… different–ah.

As soon as the three Skypieans jump onto the shallow waters, their legs quiver at the odd sensation.

Conis

Why are the clouds like this? So weird…. It's all water.

When they walk further and onto the sandy ground, they are met by the mermaid king and his sister. They stare at each other curiously, eyeing the different features on their bodies in amazement having never seen species of their kinds before. 

Conis

You… you have a tail! And gills! And you can fly? So cool!!

Shirahoshi

And you have wings and…those pointy things on your head! That’s so fascinating! Oh…this is just a coral bubble. We need it to float around on land.

Fukaboshi smiles warmly at them.

Fukaboshi

You must be the sky people. I welcome you. I wish your arrival was in better circumstances. It’s not normally this…

He glances behind him towards Doflamingo.

Fukaboshi

…unpleasant.

Wyper

You don’t say…

Wyper marches angrily at the bound Warlord.

Wyper

This must be the Doflamingo we've heard so much about. I should kill you right here, right now for burning down our home.

Voice

Wait!

Red and green blazing auras descend from the sky. When they land, Yonji  approaches Fukaboshi and the crowd surrounding him while Ichiji hurriedly makes his way towards the Heart Pirates with the unconscious Niji in his arms.

Reiju

Oh, Niji…. Lay him here, brother. Gently now.

Ichiji

You got Sanji, then? Wait…

Reiju

It’s a long story….

Gan Fall

It’s you! Wyper, Conis–look! It's the green Northy!

Yonji

God and Skypieans… I… I took part in the destruction of your home and I will take full responsibility for my actions.

Wyper’s face turns red from fury.

Wyper

You… WHAT?!

Reiju

Hold on!

Before Wyper could lunge at Yonji, Reiju runs and puts herself between them. She holds her brother's hand behind her protectively.

Reiju

Doflamingo controlled him against his will. He couldn't fight it!

Wyper

I don't care about your excuses! He deserves to be punished!

Reiju

I agree. But not here. Not like this.

Gan Fall steps forward from behind and lays a gentle hand on Wyper’s shoulder.

Gan Fall

The girl is right, Wyper. We can’t rush into these things. Just remember, this young man rescued us from those pirates and somehow helped us find our way down here. 

Having left Niji in the Heart Pirate’s care, Ichiji joins them to chime in.

Ichiji

Yonji did well, sister. He did exactly what God said and single handedly flew the snake down with his winches to save everyone from the fires. It wasn't easy. We’re lucky we ran into Shirahoshi.

Gan Fall

See, Wyper? Level your head. He deserves a fair trial. You’re not going to run away, are you, young man?

Yonji

No, sir. I meant what I said. I will accept the consequences of my actions.

Gan Fall

A brave and honourable decision. We will certainly attend your hearing and we will take that into account. I suppose we’ll just have to trust you to come along.

Reiju

And what of Doflamingo’s crew?

Yonji hesitates to speak. He shifts his legs and rubs the back of his arm uncomfortably. When Reiju sees them, she notices that his sleeves are covered in dried blood.

Yonji

They’re taken care of.

Ichiji

Under my direct order, Reiju. They didn’t give us much of a choice. They were relentless.

Reiju

Oh…

Wyper

Tch.

Wyper crosses his arms and averts his gaze, unsatisfied with the whole situation and Gan Fall’s decision to not take immediate action.

Yonji

I’m sorry. I know my apology isn’t enough and it will never be. I don’t expect you to forgive me at all.

Wyper

You bet we wo–!

When the warrior glares at the commander, he freezes. He sees a mirage of Zoro and Sanji’s faces circle around his green-haired head. When they merge into one, the illusion pops, revealing Yonji's face behind it. Blood suddenly bursts out of Wyper’s nose. His eyes roll to the back of his skull as he faints but Yonji catches him by an arm and around his waist in time before he hits the ground.

Yonji

Woah, woah! Are you okay? What happened? I swear, I didn’t do anything.

Wyper groans, his eyes spinning in circles.

Conis

OH! It’s because you look like… erm… I’ll explain later. Come on, Wyper. Sit down and have a second.

Conis leads them under the treeline with the rest of the injured. Yonji sets down the dizzy warrior to recover in the shade. Back on the shore, Law rolls his eyes after realising exactly what the Skypiean was talking about.

Law

Now then…

The doctor approaches Doflamingo until he's just outside the vortex of water that binds him. He taps his own shoulder a couple of times with his sheathed sword, glaring at the man. Doflamingo simply returns his gaze with a menacing smile.

Doflamingo

I hope you’re happy, Trafalgar. This is a very heartwarming reunion…seeing old friends and making new ones. Quite touching.

Law

You have something that belongs to me.

Doflamingo

You would think so.

Law

Fukaboshi, I need to search him.

Fukaboshi

You’re welcome to. He’s too weak in the water to resist. Though I must recommend a non-Devil Fruit user to assist you. If you so much as touch those waters, you’ll find that your energy will drain in an instant.

Law

I see. In that case–

Doflamingo

You can search me all you want, Law. But you’ll find that I have nothing in my possession that’s of interest to you.

Rosinante is lost. Again. Thanks to you.

Law narrows his eyes at him and grits his teeth angrily, resisting every urge to beat the living shit out of him.

Voice

Big bro! We found the swordsman!

All eyes turn back to the sea and watch Fukaboshi’s brothers emerge from the blue waters. With their own bubbles, they float their way up to the island. In front, Ryuboshi leads the way with a weakened and bloodied Zoro on his back. Manboshi follows closely behind them, carrying all three of his swords in his arms.

Law

Zoro-ya!

Zoro struggles to lift his head over the mermaid prince's shoulder. As soon as he sees Law, he raises his arm, showing off the Heart of Skypiea in his hand. The doctor feels a great amount of relief wash over him.

Doflamingo

Tch.

Reiju

MY PRINCES!!!

Shirahoshi

Wait, big sister! Close your eyes!!!

Clasping her hands under her chin, Reiju spins and circles around all three mermaid brothers. Lecherous hearts pop out of her eyes.

Reiju

My three favourite royal mermen…all in one place?! I have…to resist…. BUT I COULDN'T BE ANY HAPPIER! MY GORGEOUS HANDSOME BEAUTIES! PLEASE ALLOW ME TO EXPRESS MY UNDYING LOVE!!

Before she can, Reiju suddenly turns into stone. Her stunned body falls onto the sand with a heavy thump and they all stare at her awkwardly.

Shirahoshi

I’m so, so, sorry Reiju!

Big brothers! I told you to wear shirts!

Manboshi

Oh no… not again.

Ichiji sighs in exasperation and drags Reiju’s petrified body by her foot though the sand and up on the grassy terrain where the Heart Pirates are currently tending to the injured–some more than others.

Ichiji

Here. Another one.

Heart Pirates

WHAT?!

Bepo

What's with everyone just suddenly fainting?! We’re not even under attack!

Penguin

Captain!! We are severely understaffed right now.

Shachi

I don’t even know how to help this one!

Ichiji

Trust me, she's pretty helpless. Just give her time and make sure nothing breaks off.

Bepo

…Oops…

Ichiji

…Like that. Yeah…. It’s probably best that you don't tell her that you snapped some of her hair.

Back on the sandy shores where the friends gathered, Ryuboshi approaches the mermaid king.

Ryuboshi

Big brother, what do we do with the Demon Warlord, do-re-mi-fa~?

Zoro attempts to push himself to look up but his head flumps back onto the mermaid prince’s shoulder. When the crystal heart slips from his grasp, Law catches it on time.

Fukaboshi snarls at the sight of the swordsman and crosses his arms.

Fukaboshi

This one you can throw back into the sea.

Neptune Siblings

WHAT?!

Doflamingo laughs out loud.

Doflamingo

For once, we are in agreement, King Fukaboshi.

Fukaboshi

Hmph.

Shirahoshi

That’s so cruel, big brother! No! I must insist that we help him!

Fukaboshi

Do what you want. He can drown or bleed to death for all I care. Both, if we're lucky.

Shirahoshi

Stop talking like that!

Zoro

Let…let me down.

Ryuboshi

A–are you sure, swordsman? You look badly hurt, re-mi-so~

Law approaches and assists Zoro off the mermaid prince. He hooks his arm around his shoulder to keep him up.

Zoro

Traffy… I failed him. I couldn't…

Law

He's here. Come on. I’ll take you to him.

Relieved to hear the news, Zoro lets the doctor drag his feet. Fukaboshi’s unhappy eyes follow them as they make their way inland. The rest of the crowd tails them, eager to hear the exact events that unfolded in Skypiea, and to check on Sanji and the rest of the injured. Now alone with the mermaid king, Doflamingo speaks.

Doflamingo

I can die happy if you promise to kill him.

They watch quietly as Law sets the swordsman down onto the grass where young Sanji lay. Weakly, Zoro crawls towards him and sits next to his body while Law and the Heart Pirates start their preparations to attend to his injuries. With a hushed low voice, Fukaboshi responds to the Warlord.

Fukaboshi

I’m not making such promises.

Doffy…

Doflamingo’s eyes drop down to the ground and expression on his face turns sour, fully expecting the lecture that comes next. Fukaboshi finally turns to look at him directly.

Fukaboshi

Can’t you talk to me? I thought we used to be friends… good friends. I trusted you with my life. If it’s about the Demon Warlord, I don’t like him either. Sanji was insistent that he fight him head on but from what I was told, that was back then. How could you do this to him?

The Warlord’s head droops lower.

Fukaboshi

Is there… something else? What changed, Doffy? The three of us made a pact for life. I find it hard to believe that–

Doflamingo

Fukaboshi…

Doflamingo raises his head slightly, watching the group fuss over the injured ones. The remaining Skypieans finally build up the courage to set foot onto the island to allow Nola to rest her jaws. They flood inland to explore.

Doflamingo

Have you ever had something in your life that you’d do anything for? Something you’d give up everything for.

Fukaboshi takes a moment to process his words. He watches his own siblings reunite with their extended Vinsmoke family, shaking hands, lightly wrestling with each other and assisting the Heart Pirates in caring for Sanji, Reiju and Niji. He wonders what could possibly have occurred to Doflamingo to have him change so unexpectedly and so drastically. Afraid that the Warlord would clam up if questioned too quickly, Fukaboshi resists the urge to bombard him with questions and instead chooses to answer him directly.

Fukaboshi

Yes.

Doflamingo

I used to think everyone and everything was disposable. Replaceable.

Doflamingo bears his gaze at the unconscious blonde in the distance.

Doflamingo

This is all new to me. It disgusts me. I find myself vile and weak.

Fukaboshi

It’s not a weakness, Doffy. What you’re feeling is–

Doflamingo

Fukaboshi, I’m cashing in.

Fukaboshi

Wh–what?

Doflamingo tilts his head and locks eyes with the horrified mermaid king.

Doflamingo

To make it easier for you, I will leave. You won't have to see me again. But I can't get stuck here or anywhere.

You’ve always said that you owe me for taking part in giving your people a place in the Levely. Here's your chance to free yourself of that debt.

Fukaboshi

You’re mad. You can't be serious! You're asking for too much, Doffy! People want to see you face justice. And so do I. Especially for what you did to Sanji and his brothers. However, the reason why I’m going to insist on taking you into our custody is so you don’t get killed or worse–locked up to be mistreated by the Marines. Understand that I'm already doing this for you.

Doflamingo

Come now, viejo amigo. I know you’re a man of your word.

…What do you think Sanji would do in your place?

Fukaboshi’s eyes widen at the question. His hand grips the trident tighter, suddenly so unsure about the situation at hand.

Fukaboshi

…He would honour the deal.

----------

Bonus: Combined Portraits

(Really, I just wanted to upload them here so I can embed it in AO3. Don't mind me)

[geekynichelle]

Slight spoilers...

Also just to get this out of the way, I don't mean anything I'm going to say in a "woe is me/reverse colorism is real" kind of way, I just want to be matter of fact. That, and both my parents are Black so my ancestry isn't the same as Hailee Steinfeld, but I am somewhat ambiguous looking.

Right before I saw the movie a video was recommended to me about the character of Mary in Sinners, and obviously I didn't watch it in case there were spoilers, but the title implied that the person felt like she was a character that didn't work. Based on what happens in the movie though, I kinda disagree because without her a few things do change and she does move the plot forward.

"What are you?" is a question Mary gets asked by Sammie, and it's one I've gotten often growing up. I sorta wish I'd answered "human" sarcastically since I never really had a problem with being dry witted with other topics. It got me in the habit of constantly feeling the need to explain myself to others, although to be clear I did get that question more from white people. Operating in that weird area of privilege and marginalization can be rather alienating at times, and from experience it is a bit dehumanizing especially if no one else can really relate and you don't want to come across as acting like you have it the hardest of all. I feel comfortable when I'm around Black people, and I've never tried to pass for white, but I don't like to pretend I experience Blackness the way the vast majority of Black people in America (or even in my own family) do. I've worked through any lingering identity issues I've had in the past, but when I'm out with my mom's side of the family especially, I do feel like I look like Mary, a pale face that stands out. Mary's attempt to use her privilege to get the 411 on the white vampires backfiring is sorta what it feels like to be around white people that portray themselves as safe and cool. If you lower your guard you will get eaten, and passing won't help you then.

I don't know what could have worked for her in the 1930s, because I can't imagine not being able to be around my family for their safety and mine. I do know that considering the themes of Sinners, her identity issues directly relate to the idea of true community and acceptance. The asian couple weren't Black at all, but they contributed and clearly felt comfortable being around Blackness (not just Black people) and that was why they were able to be at the function. In spite of everything Mary was welcome and her mother was with the people, but doubt crept in, and that feeling of being othered, and that is why she was the first of the main group to turn.

Ultimately I guess it was nice to see a character that looked like her that actually didn't want to hide or run away from her Blackness, while still acknowledging the privileges that come with passing.

[brittlesoldier]

So long story short in case I write too much: I think it's purely the idea that Helly has not been moulded by the world compared to Helena. He likes that she's a more "pure" version of herself.

One of the show's main topics is Nature vs. Nurture. Children are a symbolism we see often in this show, not only literally but also in the way innies are described. Obviously they represent "nature", the true self before life has had an impact on you.

The reason this works (to me) with the whole idea of leveling the tempers is based on my understanding of the "humors". The theory of the four humors comes from the theory that everything was made out of 4 basic elements, and this was applied to medicine. So in a similar way they used to believe that every human was essentially made of four humors.

The interesting thing is that they believed everyone had a different default balance of these four humors and that slight difference is what made each person different (nature). And when there was an excess of any of these humors it manifested in illness both mental and physical. That's where labeling the tempers/humors comes in, except what works for one person may not work for others.

I forgot to mention that food was thought to be associated with the humors, so when someone needed their humors balanced they would often eat certain foods/change their diets. Something we're introduced to on S1 and that's brought back on S2 both times through Helena's character is the three raw eggs Kier ate every morning. The eggs Helena hates, but Helly likes. The ones Jame wishes she ate raw. But not only food: physical health, our environment and even the seasons could imbalance the humors.

I think at the beginning Helena may have had some similarities to Kier based on the four temper idea, nothing else. And I think Jame tried to mold her after him, thinking they were the same. But by doing so Helena was being changed (nurture). Her whole life is controlled. She swims in the morning even though she almost drowned, she eats eggs which she hates because it was Kier's favorite breakfast, she lives in Jame's house, she embodies autumn but we've only seen her live in winter.

I think the answer is simply that Helly still hasn't bent to the world. She doesn't have Helena's baggage, her tempers haven't been balanced to devoid her or a sense of self. So the similarities to Kier that Jame may have seen in Helena are still there in Helly but it's more natural. And I understand what he means. If Kier was a cult leader that's still successful (and heavily relies on his image) it means he probably was a natural leader, just like Helly especially in the final episode of season two. Meanwhile Helena is told what to do and what to say. Like when she's doing PR for the company. She's not allowed to step out of that. The problem that Jame doesn't seem to see is that he cannot make another Kier without destroying Helena, and therefore all he liked about her.

I think it's simple but the symbolism is very interesting. Sorry for the rambling lol

so does nobody wanna talk baby helena............ 👉👈

[ducktracy]

there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love

[puppppppppy]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you