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elizaxspears · 11 months ago

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Memories of Mortals and Madmen rework? tell me more

Okay! So! I realised that a lot of the old version progressed way too fast! Relationships weren't built and no one was given time to breathe to have some development and I realised (after playing throuhg TEW2 again) that Seb shouldn't still be working for the KCPD (TEW2 is taken into account but I'm not really following that timeline, just picking certain plot and fact points from it lmao), so I had to reimagine the story with that involved! I also wanted to give William more people to interact with since he'd just be all alone otherwise (which would be accurate but he needs someone to bounce off of that's not Joseph when Joseph isn't there!) Speaking of relationships, I wanted to fix William and Joseph's, actually give them more of a dynamic then have it happen for the sake of happening. The same thing goes for Ronald and William, as in the original story I had that relationships just thrown in last second. I also want to give Seb and Joseph more of a part too because they never felt like they had much of one! Seb was still upset over Myra and Lily (I mean, understandably) and Joseph was just kind of passive to it. I'm hoping with this rework, it's feel more like mutual pining at some point!

So, yeah! Lots of relationships changes! As for the plot itself, it's mostly going the same way except Lily will be an actual character eventually, the Undertaker's presence will be felt a bit more, the murder subplot for Seb and Joseph is more streamlined and makes more sense (Also make Joseph sound more Canadian. A lot more "eh's" because as a Canadian, I've never conciously realised how much I say it in every day conversation until writing Joseph xD) That's all I can really say without going full spoiler mde (not that really is any lol) but I'm REALLY hoping this rework turns out how I want it to!

Here's a small snippet from the first draft of the rework:

Joseph stares down at the business card he continuously flips between his fingers. He’s not exactly sure why he thought having lunch with William would be a good idea but after this morning, he just wanted to have a small break without feeling like he was losing his mind a second time. While things were still tense with Sebastian, it was work that made him feel like he’d gone mad. When he’d asked about the body he’d found last night, Wolfe acted like he’d never heard of such a thing. He’d even looked himself and there was no official report made but it wasn’t like he made it up. He knew what he saw with his own two eyes, which, he supposes, couldn’t be very reliable narrators at times. It was also the time he’d officially met William and this business card proved it. If there was no body, there wouldn’t have been a Grim Reaper but he supposes bringing that up wouldn’t set well with anyone at work.

A grim reaper. William. He still thinks the man is mocking him, especially when he looks at the number on the business card. 444-444-413 just didn’t seem real but of course it was. William may not have answered but he did call him back, so obviously, the call had gone through.

He sighs, looking out the window. Ten minutes into his lunch break and he wonders if William will show up at all. “I apologise but there was a soul that needed collecting before I met you.”

The cool, posh, English accent isn’t hard to distinguish and of course when he turns from the window, he sees William just taking the seat across from him. He looks just as he had the last two times Joseph had seen William, although he does seem to be leaning just slightly more on his right and there’s an even slighter pinch to his expression. “I’m just glad you came.” he looks William over. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” William dismisses his worry with a wave of his hand. “I merely had a run in with a demon when you’d called and I’m afraid I may have broken a rib or two. Nothing to concern yourself with.”

“A broken rib? Two?! Shouldn’t you be going to a hospital?”

“Goodness no. One thing you must understand Oda is that wounds like broken bones, bruises, cuts, things that may be fatal to a human are mundane to us. Our bodies will heal on their own so long as it isn’t a slash from a death scythe. Even a demon’s claw, while painful and more dire, will continue to heal on its own with a bit more rest. I’m sure by tonight, I will be fine.”

#black butler #the evil within #my writing

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bisluthq · 3 months ago

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It is I, the Aussie who has a disdain for the royal family back again lol. So regarding the purpose of the royals, there isn't an official mission statement as such lmao but they are meant to live a life of duty and service to charities, inspire and uplift us peasants, bring nations together, and be beacons of moral purity and virtue because the whole royal grift thing is that they were 'chosen by god' to represent the best of society.

But it's like that episode of South Park where Wendy asks what Paris Hilton did lmao. But anyway, here's what that in action looks like:

- a life of duty - so first you have to understand that the royals operate like a PR business. They want the monarch and the successor to be the most popular, so it's like if you imagine the KarJenners and how different members have been more popular than the others at different times, in the royal family Kim must always be most popular and has 10 Kris Jenners working on keeping her at the top... but Kourtney also has her own 10 Kris Jenners trying to craft her own image to be seen as valuable.

So anyway - the senior royals (the monarch, their children and the children of the member next in line to the throne) are all meant to pick a few causes and work closely with a few of those charities.

Charles was always passionate about bringing different religions together and organic farming, for these reasons he was mocked and labelled a bit of a hippie - but still a very posh one - and it's quite sad, because he wasn't the stoic, stiff upper lip type of royal we were used to. He was sensitive and passionate about the arts (probably still is, but I am not a fan of who he is now lol). He was held back from doing things he wanted to do because it didn't portray 'right image', but he actually had the potential to be a brilliant, gentle leader who could bring people together because he is fascinated by a lot of things, wanted to understand herbal and indigenous medicines and healing modalities - and look at the UK and its colonies, we're multicultural! He could've laid a fantastic foundation for combatting racism, but he wasn't traditional enough so the queen and her team prevented him from working with certain causes and limited his engagements because people thought he was eccentric. Who he was 30+ years ago is the King the royals need, but it was beaten out of him and he's just kind of there now. The monarch is meant to be neutral (the royals aren't allowed to talk politics or vote btw, they imply shit all the time but always need plausible deniability I guess), but it also means once they're monarch they don't really engage with their old charities because they can't single anyone out.

On the other hand Princess Anne has the most engagements/ photo opportunities, but does nothing meaningful. But Liz loved that she'd show up to a mining site and be all 'thank you for your hard work' and then go to a high school that day and say 'education is important ' so apart from her well known love of horses, idk what her passion charity is meant to be? But she isn't controversial so she gets permission to do all the engagements.

William talks about the environment and has for a while. With Harry and Kate they started dialogue on mental health but Liz didn't like talking about feelings so she tried to censor them and not have them tell personal stories. Charles was meant to break this tradition but hasn't.

Kate has assigned herself 'kids issues' but she spent "SEVERAL YEARS" working with experts to come to the conclusion that "a child's early years can have an impact on their future" and had a whole fucking gala with a PowerPoint to say things that THE GOVERNMENT was already funding. Smh. Like yes it's important but she made it sound like she had a solution or something when promoting the event lol.

Anyway that got long, but they're meant to promote charities but don't actually do anything. They might pour some cups of tea at a shelter or sit and speak with people at a rehab centre, but they don't give much of their personal wealth, they encourage the public to donate, they don't go and *work*... This is why I'm so disgusted by how they treated Meghan - she had ideas and like went and asked women for recipes and put it into a cookbook with all proceed going towards their charity, she contacted British stores and designers to create a capsule collection of clothing for women who needed clothes for a job interview and it was a 'for each sale, we will donate the same item' model - it sold out so fast! Harry started the Invictus games... It was actually DOING something more than a photo op!

They have this idea that whoever is being spoken about or papped is bringing attention to their charities, but they've been a newspaper version of real housewives for like 50 years now lol so they're delusional lol.

✨ inspire and uplift✨

So yeah maybe 70 years ago and even as recent as the thatcher years there were times when the royals being the face of the nation/ commonwealth, them stepping out and giving a speech about hope or something did inspire people and bring people together. And the weddings and big events were a big deal because so many world leaders were invited and it was like a political summit but glamorous. But the royals have been in their Flop era for at least 10 years, had a few hits, but tiktokers are outselling, so they no longer are needed to fill that void.

Bring nations together - basically the same as above and we have a mini Olympics, the commonwealth games. Sport brings people together (when it's not causing a huge increase in domestic violence) but yeah, the games give the same vibe as the Olympics and there's also a sense of security and comradery with other commonwealth nations as our allies. but that's like giving all the credit of what the Olympics do for people to the Greeks - they started it, but we've all shaped it, yk?

✨ uphold morals ✨

LMAO. The church of England/ Anglican church only exists cause a monarch wanted divorce and the bible said no. William will be the next head of the CoE and doesn't even attend all the big services. They sure don't practise a 'what would Jesus do' life - fucking around on their spouses, taking bribes, trading stories about their family to bury their own scandals and shame their family, hoard wealth, etc. Etc. So yeah, LOL.

People say they bring in tourist dollars, but people get pics outside the colloseum and Buckingham palace for the same reason - cool, historical buildings... Not because of who lives there now (mostly staff btw) and fuck eras tour brought in about 75% of what the royals are said to bring in to the economy! It costs on average, the cost of a pint for every person in the UK to keep the royals, but if they redirected that money into affordable housing, turned the numerous estates into luxury hotels and golf courses or other attractions on the grounds, the people of the UK would be much better off imo.

I'm sorry, this was very long and I have become biased against them because I think they operate a cruel, outdated business and hoard assets that could help people. Idk what a republic of Australia would look like, but ugh at them.

I mean Australia gets 0 benefit from them. Not even the tourism. Y’all need to abolish the fuck out of that.

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rillabrooke · 4 years ago

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OC Asks: 1, 9, 15, 19, 25, 46, and 92 for Danny, Carolina, Caleb, and Anna (sorry I picked so many lol)!

Oooooh *cracks knuckles* let's do this thing (I put it under the cut if you want to skip it - it's a long one :D)

1. How do they present themselves to others?

♤ Carolina likes to look cheerful - she wears a lot of pastels and pinks - so she usually is very smiley and congenial. However, after you're around her for a while, she drops the act and becomes Sarcastic Carole.

♧ Danny is naturally gregarious, and he doesn't try to hide it. He'll walk up to a perfect stranger as if he's their long-lost friend. He also likes to play a game called "Let's Pretend I'm Perfectly Normal, And If Anyone Questions My Missing Arm, I Will Look At Them Like They've Lost Their Mind". So conversations usually go:

So what happened to your arm?

What about my arm?

You don't have one...?

I don't have an... omIGOSH I'M MISSING AN ARM. WHO TOOK MY ARM??

◇ When Caleb Met Carole is a prime example of how Caleb acts around others. He's rather shy and withdrawn around most people, but he a talkative doofus around family and close friends.

♡ Since Anna has a public image to uphold, she plays the role of sweet, innocent, beautiful, charming, demure maiden. She only acts 'naturally' in private.

9. Why is their name, their name?

♤ I have absolutely no idea how I picked Carolina Marbury. It just magically came to me. *confetti*

♧ Danny Kessler was originally Danny Kessinger, but I had to change that for... reasons. (I have a name curse lol) I dunno how I picked "Danny", but I chose "Kessler" cuz my dad suggested as an alternative to Kessinger.

◇ For Caleb, I needed a name that started with C and sounded good with Kessler. Originally, his name was Carson, but I have a classmate named Carson and it just felt weird.

♡ Pretty self-explanatory: Anne of Cleves -> Anna Cleves. I wanted her to have a last name.

15. Can you name five personality traits they have?

♤ Carolina - impatient, dedicated, hardworking, sarcastic, unstable

♧ Danny - outgoing, selfless, introspective, stubborn, charismatic

◇ Caleb - goofy, patient, unperturbed, charming, romantic

♡ Anna - hot-headed, manipulative, intelligent, cautious, posh (I'm really selling her, aren't I lol)

19. How do they influence the story?

♤ Carolina's road to fame is the main storyline, and most of the story is told through her perspective.

♧ If it weren't for Danny picking up the courage to call Carolina in the first place, Opposite Day wouldn't exist lol

◇ The love interessssssst. Thank you, Caleb, for getting rid of the CarolexDanny ship. Love ya 😘

♡ Uhhh TOTGA revolves around Anna's historical life, so uh... yeah. She's constantly throwing people's plans out the window which causes a lot of tension between characters.

25. If they were given the task to prank someone, who would it be, what would they do, and would the prank work?

♤ Carolina would prank Danny. That's not even a question. She's not that creative, so she'd probably do the ol' soap in the drink trick. Of course, Danny being Danny, he'd fall for it... again lol

♧ Danny would prank Cecilia or Caleb. I have no idea what he'd do (he's a lot more devious than I am), but it'd be something good-natured. It'd definitely work, especially if he recruits his cousins and/or Aunt.

◇ Caleb would prank Danny cuz they deserve each other lol. He'd definitely switch the salt and the sugar, but Danny would notice the difference and catch him :D

♡ Anna is a big meanie and would definitely pull a stunt on King Henry. She can't go too far cuz she likes her head attached, but she would replace the king's black tea with watered-down mud. And yes, she'd get away with it cuz the king's gullible as hekk lol

I mean, she plays tricks on him all the time: fluffs his pillow the wrong way, uses a salad fork to eat cake, sits in the king's chair, breaths too loud...

46. When is their birthday?

♤ Carolina - September 14

♧ Danny - December 3 (happy early birthday, Danny-boy!!)

◇ Caleb doesn't have a birthday :/

♡ Anna - September 22

92. If they were given minutes to live, what would they do? Who would they want to see or say?

♤ Carolina would want to be with the ones she loves: her mom, dad, sisters, Danny, Caleb, and (post-2022) kids. She'd reiterate how much she loves them and thank them for all they've done. I think she'd want to pass away while listening to music.

♧ Danny would want to be with Aunt Candice, Caleb, and Cecilia (and Carole, if possible). He almost died before, so I think he'd live life to the fullest and leave nothing to the last minute.

◇ Caleb would be with his parents, all of his siblings, Danny, Carole, and (post-2022) his kids. Like Danny, he'd leave nothing to the last minute cuz he knows life is fleeting.

♡ Anna would go out with a bang - that's for sure. First and foremost, she'd insult the king to his face (since she'd have no threat of beheading), then apologize for taking advantage of his stupidity kindness. If possible, she'd want to be with her brother William and her favorite maid Ivy.

Wooooooo that was long but I had so much fun writing about the OD gang :D Thank you for the ask!!

#oc ask game #original writing #writing #writing things #opposite day #opposite day: my post #i had to wait to come home and check their birthdays cuz i had them written down somewhere lol

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metaphorical-love-for-a-car · 5 years ago

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An Unexpected Reunion-- Malcolm Bright x Reader

oRequest; “the reader is an FBI agent who met Malcom in Quantico but they lost contact cause she went to do undercover work and now shes put in New York on. A case and they just catch up and be happy cause malcom needs happy” (anon)

Warnings; specified fem! reader, language, bits of violence, terrible writing

Word Count; 2.1k

Notes; I rewrote this like 5 times so I hope y’all like it lol

Trainees were separated into groups for various training sessions throughout the day, and a group was never the same. Everyone was rotated around. Your group for the day happened to do incredibly well in the training exercises. “Best so far,” you were told. They decided to reward the group by allowing all of you to have a paintball fight, writing it off as combat practice. Everyone darted to various corners of Hogan’s Alley. You hid behind a dumpster and readied yourself for the battle to begin. A thud from the inside caused your brows to furrow. Since the Alley was a mock town, you knew that there wasn’t any trash inside that would attract any critters. Nevertheless, you decided to check it out. You cracked open the lid, only for something to latch around your arm. “What the fuck, Bright?” He shushed you.

“Come on, this is the best hiding spot here! Anyone comes around, and you can easily take them out without being spotted. Just... just hurry up and hop in before you blow our cover.” You stared at him, blinking slowly. Was he serious? Malcolm’s eyes widened, causing him to look slightly frantic as he motioned you inside. Alright, he was completely serious. You clamored into the dumpster and hoped that no one heard the lid slam shut. Malcolm clicked on his flashlight. He raised a brow and grave you a sly grin. He started to speak, but you interrupted him.

“If you’re about to make this sexual, I swear to God I will shoot you in the crotch right now.” Malcolm grimaced, looking highly offended.

“What? No! I was about to ask if you had heard about how Johnson from the second group pissed his pants in the hostage simulation today,” he rapidly explained. Then he froze for a moment, giving you a doubtful look. “You wouldn’t shoot me this close range. You’re not that cruel.” You held up your gun.

“Wanna bet?” Malcom narrowed his eyes at you. He was challenging your capabilities. What was once a game of hide-and-go-seek turned into a game of cat-and-mouse. Either way, you weren’t losing. You leaned back and pulled the trigger. The paintball hit its target with a loud twap! Malcolm shouted a string of profanities as he curled into fetal position. You clasped a hand over your mouth to keep from laughing. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

“Bitch...” he groaned.

“You practically told me to!”

Fond memories of your old life were what got you through your secret life. Being assigned to go undercover for months on end was no easy feat. There were plenty of times you wanted to call it quits, but you couldn’t. So, you’d think of moments that made you happy. You were beyond relieved when you were able to return home. It was as if you could finally breathe again. You wanted nothing more than to sleep for at least two weeks straight, but, of course, you weren’t allowed such luxuries.

You had awakened too early for your liking but decided to spend the time catching up on all the shows you missed while undercover. You had just sat down with a cup of coffee when someone started banging on your door. You sighed, taking a long sip of your coffee and hoping that they would go away. Luck wasn’t on your side, as the person continued to try to punch your door down. You groaned and shuffled over towards the door. It revealed a woman with curly hair. She gave you a small grin and held up a badge. You squinted at it in an attempt to determine its authenticity. “Hi, I’m Dani Powell with the NYPD. Are you Ms. (Y/L/N)?” You eyed her for a moment before finally deciding that she was telling the truth about her identity. You slowly nodded, slightly confused as to why she was there. “Mind if I talk to you for a few minutes?” she asked, putting her badge away.

“Yeah... what’s... I’m sorry what’s going on?”

“Your neighbor was murdered last night.”

Your body tensed. Was she serious? Could a murder have seriously taken place right under your nose? You turned on your heel and hurried further into your apartment. Dani looked confused, hesitantly stepping inside. You fumbled through a drawer before returning with a badge of your own. “I’m with the FBI. Could I see the crime scene please?” Dani raised a brow at you.

“Let’s go talk to my superior first.” You nodded and slipped on a pair of shoes. Following Dani down the hall, she approached a man leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “Where’s Gil?” The man furrowed his brows at the sight of you. Okay, so maybe you could have at least brushed your hair before you walked out. You probably looked like a hot mess.

“Inside. Who’s your friend?”

“Special Agent (Y/F/N). FBI. I live down the hall,” you answered. The man seemed surprised, causing Dani to roll her eyes.

“Oh shit, really? I’m TJ.” He started to say something else, but Dani interrupted him.

“She wanted to see the scene, but I was gonna let her talk to Gil first.” You pursed your lips. Surely, it wasn’t the same person you were thinking of. There was a slight commotion from inside the crime scene before two men emerged into the hall. One was waving his hands widely, while the other looked done with his shit.

“Okay, so we’re looking for-” Your jaw dropped. Malcolm? Here, of all places? The world is quite a small place. “Cookie?” TJ and Dani’s faces wrinkled.

“Stinky!” Malcolm laughed at the familiar nickname as you threw your arms around him in an embrace. Gil smiled at the two of you.

“What am I, chopped liver?” You scoffed before giving him a hug too. TJ and Dani shared a look of confusion, which wasn’t lost under Malcolm’s gaze.

“Team, this is Cookie. Cookie, this is the team.”

“I’m sorry-- but Cookie?” TJ asked, almost astonished at hearing Malcolm call someone by their pet name. The profiler nodded. A smirk crossed his lips.

“We’ve been friends since Quantico. During training, (Y/N) snuck out of her room to steal some treats. Everyone’s called her that since.” You rolled your eyes at the mention of your nickname.

“And you’re... Stinky?” Dani asked with a laugh. You beamed at the opportunity to share your favorite memory from training.

“At some point during your time at the academy, a handful of trainees are dropped off at random points in the Prince William Forrest Park to test your survival skills. We somehow managed to bump into each other while wandering around and decided to team up. Two heads are better than one, right? So, we were trying to figure out a shelter situation when Stinky discovered a foxhole type thing. I warned him not to go in, but-” Malcolm interrupted you.

“I’m pretty sure you said, ‘We can’t go in there because your head’s too big. You’d get stuck and die before we even get a chance to go on a real mission.’”

“Shut up, Stinky, I’m telling a story. Anyways, the bastard decided to go in. Lo and behold! There was a family of skunks living inside, and he just barged right on in. The dude stunk. Bad. No one would go near him for about a week. So, the name Stinky was born.”

After telling the group a few more stories about Malcolm and learning a bit more about the case, you went back to your apartment to change into some actual clothes. They still required you to go down to the station and make a statement. Malcolm offered you a ride, which you gladly accepted. You hadn’t seen him since before he got fired.

As the two of you got in his car, you couldn’t help but notice how awful he looked. His hands were shaking, and he had heavy bags under his eyes. “You’re staring,” Malcolm joked, but, this time, the smile didn’t quite meet his eyes. You shook your head.

“Yeah, it’s cause you look like shit, Malcolm.” He turned his attention back to starting the car. He knew that you were being serious when you used his actual name. You watched his inner turmoil, no doubt debating whether he could confide in you. Turning your gaze away, you didn’t want him to feel like a bug under a microscope. “How long has it been this bad?”

“It’s been bad for a while now, but it’s gotten worse over the past few weeks.” His voice was small, and it made your heart ache. Shaking your head, you got out of the car. Malcolm’s brows furrowed. You poked your head back inside.

“Well? Are you just gonna sit there like a fly on the wall, or are you going to tag along with me?” Without a moment’s hesitation, Malcolm switched the car off and appeared by your side. You linked your arm with his, tugging him along. “Don’t ask questions, just follow my lead.”

You led him to a rather posh boutique not too far from your apartment building. Malcolm seemed a bit concerned as to what you had in store for him, and you couldn’t help but laugh. The older woman working there seemed a bit disapproving as the two of you walked in, giggling over some old inside joke. “Okay, seriously, why are we here?” Malcolm finally asked. You grabbed his wrist and looked at his watch.

“You have five minutes to put the most ridiculous outfit together. Loser has to buy lunch. Go!”

You scurried away, hoping that he would let loose and have some fun. Luckily for you, Malcolm wasn’t the one to back away form a challenge. Five minutes passed faster than you would have liked, but you thought you did pretty good. You were wearing large sunglasses, a tiara, and a jacket almost entirely made of rhinestones. You turned around and nearly fell to the ground with laughter. You hadn’t expected Malcolm to take the challenge that seriously. He was wearing sunglasses similar to your own, a feather boa, a shiny necklace, and he was even holding a single earring to one of his earlobes. What got you the most was his ridiculous hat, something you would only expect to see at the Kentucky Derby. His smile widened at your reaction. “Looks like you’ll be the one buying lunch.”

“I lost?”

“Obviously,” Malcolm scoffed.

“Oh, but did I really?” You quickly pulled out your phone, snapping a couple pictures. “I can’t wait to show these to Gil. He’s gonna die.” Malcolm’s jaw dropped. He put his earring down and held a hand out to you.

“Gimme.”

“What? Hell no, Stinky. You’re gonna have to pry this thing out of my cold, dead hands.” His eyes narrowed, and you immediately regretted your statement. Malcolm lunged at you, causing you to shriek and dash away. He cornered you near some clothing racks. His arms wrapped around you as he attempted to wrangle your phone from your hands. The two of you were too busy laughing and fighting each other to realize that you were inching closer and closer to the racks. As you struggled to get out of his grasp, Malcolm had the bright idea to suddenly let go, sending you tumbling forward. You landed on a clothing rack, taking the whole thing down with you. Malcolm roared with laughter and had to lean on his knees for support. “Fuck you!” you called out. He held out a hand, helping you to your feet. “You’re a jackass.”

“Oh, come on, you know you love m-” He was interrupted by the older woman clearing her throat. Her arms were crossed, and she was tapping one foot.

“I think it’s best if you two leave. Now.” You both apologized profusely and even offered to help clean up, but she shooed you out of the store, after taking back their clothes of course. You gave Malcolm a hard time, blaming him for getting you both banned from the store. After the two of you fell into a steady silence, walking side by side, you prompted him with a question.

“What were you saying earlier? I know I love what?” Malcolm laughed, almost nervously.

“I was going to say that you know you love me.” You pursed your lips and hummed.

“Maybe that’s why I’ve put up with you all these years, Stinky.”

“You’re not a ray of sunshine either, Cookie.”

“At least I don’t smell like skunk ass.”

“That was five years ago!”

~*~*~

Prodigal Son Tag List;

@ourfracturedomens

Permanent Tag List;

@blitchen

@blitchen-fics

#prodigal son #prodigal son fox #prodigal son fic #prodigal son x reader #malcolm bright #malcolm bright x reader #malcolm bright imagine #malcolm whitly #malcolm whitly x reader #tom payne #tom payne x reader #tom payne imagine #request

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untamedsinning · 5 years ago

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after dinner (fic)

uhhh something i drabbled last night and edited today. for that anon who was asking about my writing i guess! yea! im not using these characters actual names lol, they’re nicknames for them from a rp..you know how it is

alright uhh, eprocto/farting below the cut, ofc, that’s what you’re here for obviously.

“So how was it?”

The hand in Williams’ hair scratches behind his pointed ears, fingers softly pulling at blond strands. Head in Dare’s lap, they rested on the couch, just beginning to slip into a well deserved food coma.

It wasn’t as much food as he’d eaten in one sitting before, but Dare’s home cooked meal had been very filling, rich enough to make his stomach be quite protestful. Which is why he found himself in this position, hand resting on its bloated curve, groaning quietly.

“Hmmhm?” He asks to Dare’s question, not paying too much attention, as he can only focus on the way the pressure in his stomach seems to feel lower after letting it settle for a little while. He’s been trying to hold it in, but—

“How was dinner?” He clarifies, blinking down at Williams slowly.

A nice answer comes to mind for a second, but as he tries to open his mouth, Williams is cut off by his own body taking control, as the gas in his stomach gets to be too much, and a loud fart slips out of him, which embarrassingly enough goes on for a few seconds.

Face suddenly hot and blushing, he buries his head into his place on Dare’s lap, refusing to make eye contact. Christ, that was humiliating.

Dare doesn’t seem to mind, though, and laughs quietly, almost fondly. “Guess that answers my question.”

When the other doesn’t respond immediately, still flustered, Dare gently grabs Williams by the shoulders and lifts his head up, then pulls him forward a bit. Noticing the way he still looks away, he gives a sly but sympathetic grin.

“Awe, Strifey, is Mr. Perfect too embarrassed to admit he has gas?”

Did he really have to say it like that? Williams can’t come up with a dignified response, as the movement produces a loud gurgle from his belly. “Shut up.”

Despite his weak protests, he’s dragged completely into Dare’s lap, knees settled on either side. As his legs are spread, he can’t hold back another rumbling fart, biting his lip as it finishes. He felt like he was blushing to the tips of his and down to his chest, cursing his inner-workings for acting up at the worst possible time.

Still trying to hold back, he practically squeaks when Dare nuzzles his cheek, pecking his lips with a kiss. “God, you’re adorable.” He murmurs, somehow finding Williams’ bashfulness oh-so endearing. He lays a hand on the back of Williams’ head and pulls him forward so his chin rests in the crook of Dare’s neck, and their bodies are chest to chest. Feeling his smug grin, Williams notices Dare’s spare hand move to sneak underneath his button up and press on the lower part of his bloated stomach.

“Stop being so posh.” He says over the sound of another short burst of gas and the whimper that follows. “It’s me, Will. Just relax.”

From his compromising position and the light teasing, he really doesn’t want to, but seems to have no choice, as the hand on his gut is relentless. So Williams’ finally gives in and slumps against Dare completely, bearing down and releasing a low but drawn out one.

He can’t help the sigh of relief that he lets out as all that trapped gas leaves him, something close to a moan. Dare basically snickers, getting way too much enjoyment out of this. At least it was well-intended, wanting to let Williams know he was comfortable with this, but still amused about his ridiculous standards.

They cuddle there for the next hour or so, Williams grunting every few minutes to release more gas at the help of Dare’s fingers rubbing his belly.

When he’s about to doze off, gut finally quiet and settled, he hears Dare whisper to him closely.

“I should cook that again sometime.”

#indecent writing #eproctophilia #eprocto #dare&williams #y.. yeah!#gross!!

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mistressemmedi · 6 years ago

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Meeting the drivers - Canadian GP

Ferrari

Charles - he came out first of all the drivers. There was a group of guys that had a massive Ferrari flag and a Monaco flag and you could tell he was super happy to see it. He always has this look of “I can’t believe these people are here for me omg” on his face. He’s 10 times more cute and adorable in real life. Bless

Sebastian - he came out with Lewis, which caused the crowd to go CRAZY. They were bantering with each other, which was fun to watch. He went through the crowd as quickly as he could because everyone was pushing and screaming. He still took the time with everyone, and was super nice to @lookitsbee when her phone got stuck trying to take a selfie. His legs are so skinny (also, he has a scar?), someone feed him!

Mercedes

Lewis - ok he is so cute in real life? He was sooo happy to see team LH there, especially when everyone was chanting “VETTEL, VETTEL” in his face. He was very gracious and took his time with the two kids that had Merc gear at our corner.

Valtteri - DAT ASS THO. Ok, he came out last and we were all like “???? Where he at???” and then realized that he probably had press conference duties. I think everyone fell in love a little bit with him after he talked to us. I’m surprised by the amount of people that were telling him “I hope you win this weekend”. I think he was surprised too. Very nice dude though, although his beard power is too powerful for even me. His PR guy is a riot, we talked shoelaces.

Red Bull

Max - very business-like. Poor guy was probably not having the greatest time, he barely spoke a word. Although I managed to get him to smile and crack up a bit when I yelled “YO HAVE FUN THIS WEEKEND”. I even got a thank you. Mission accomplished.

Pierre - I still would like to throw myself into the sun after our interaction. FML. I was talking to his PR lady, her shoes were lit, and I don’t know how we ended up talking for a few seconds ABOUT SHOES. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I barely got a picture, I think he thought I was hilarious. Or crazy. Or shoe obsessed. Excuse me while I jump in the canal.

Alfa Romeo

Kimi - he is every bit the guy you see on TV. No bullshit, no PR face. He still took his time with everyone, and he is very much loved still. Amazing. 10/10 would drink vodka with him

Antonio - MY LIL BABY. We chatted in Italian while he was signing for the people around me, told him to enjoy the race and that he’s making us Italians proud. Also, boy loves his skinny jeans (emo boy at heart lmao). He was absolutely adorable, and he was so pleased when the people next to me tried to wish him well in broken Italian.

Renault

Nico - he is so soft. Him and Daniel get along so well, you can see by the way they interact. He was cracking jokes all around, high fiving all the kids on the way. Stopped for a selfie, great dude. Zeus is doing great btw.

Daniel - y’all, someone got him to sign a shoe. I KID YOU NOT, everyone was cheering. This guy took off his shoe and was holding it up and the entire corner started chanting “sign the shoe!”. When he did it sounded like a bomb went off because everyone started cheering all at the same time. Good banter all around, he’s a great sport.

Haas

Kevin - soft viking boy. Fact, he’s a lot smaller than he appears on tv? He is such a soft boy tho. Smiles all around, especially for the kids. Second time meeting him and chatting with him, 10/10 he’s a soft dog dad

Romain - he LOVES kids. He’s such a dad and you can tell. He is so patient and graceful with the mob of people yelling at him. He singled out every kid, made sure to thank them for being there, high fives and pictures all around. The little boy on the corner was ecstatic. Him and Kevin were out there the longest because they wanted to make sure they got to everyone.

Williams

Robert - there was a polish squad out there for him, and you could tell he was happy about that. Otherwise he is a real quiet guy, he said even less words than Kimi

George - I almost scream-laughed when he spoke because he sounds so british and so posh. Legit, think of the stereotypical British accent and that’s George. 20$ says he stops everything he does at 5 and has tea NO MATTER WHAT. Probably has a picture of the queen in his car #confirmed. Good sport though

McLaren

Lando - fucking yeeted out of there because he forgot he had a press conference. Didn’t talk to him, I’m quite sad. Yes, he is quite short.

Carlos - he is giving Fernando a run for his money re: luscious hair. He didn’t say much, but this have a bit of a conversation with the Mexican squad next to us.

Force India Racing Point

Checo - ok, so we had a bunch of Mexican fans right next to us. Hilarious people, they brought a selfie still and were here to partyyy. Some of them dressed up as Pink Panthers lol. I quickly got my autograph and stepped aside because I wanted these people to have their moment, you know? Checo was soooo fucking happy to see the Mexican flag. He took his time, had a few laughs with them, and was generally in a great mood. He’s very proud of who he is, and his country. It was lovely to see.

Lance - poor guy looked to dazed. I can just imagine the amount of PR he has to do at his home GP. He didn’t say much but he did make a point to sign for everyone around us.

Toro Rosso

Alex - he is such a happy kid omg. His face is literally the :3 emoji. He laughed when I told him to go for it and enjoy the track. He took a bit of extra time with us gals, great sport all around.

Dany - my boy. Honestly. First off, he is as much of an awkward dork as you would imagine. The support for him was amazing in our area, I think people are quite happy to see him back for real. I chatted with him in Italian, my brain short circuited and I could not English at that point. He was super nice about it haha. He saw the guys with the Mexican flag next to me and greeted them in spanish. Then talked to someone else in French. Then English again. Daamn Dany, showoff.

Overall experience was a m a z i n g. I’m glad I got to chat with some of the drivers. And some of the staff too, it’s nice to see the PR teams let loose.

Looking forward to next year.

#f1 #formula 1 #canadianGP

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thefearlessgastronomist · 6 years ago

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Cookbooks I’m Excited to Dive into in 2019

Cravings: Recipes for All the Food You Want to Eat & Cravings: Hungry for More

BY CHRISSY TEIGEN

I used to be indifferent to Chrissy Teigen. She was that lady married to John Legend and a television personality (what exactly does she do on Lip Sync Battle anways?)... but that that was about it. I didn’t even know or remember her as a model.

Then her cookbooks came out. I don’t know what it is about her recipes, but I think everyone was just as surprised as me at the success of Chrissy’s cookbooks. And naturally, their popularity piqued my interest. While many ingredients and meal ideas are day-to-day staples (like pork chops or mac+cheese), the spicy twists and Thai turns on various foods truly are recipes for food you want to eat. Paging through both books, I’m fairly certain I said “Yum” or “I want to try that” for just about every recipe. Not to mention, her humor makes her so incredibly personable.

Pull Up a Chair: Recipes from My Family to Yours

BY TIFFANI THIESSEN

I’ve mentioned Tiffani before, but let me do it again.

The first recipe of hers that I tried in my own kitchen was the Blackberry Jam portrayed on her show, and it became an instant hit (I even gave small jars away as parting gifts for a family get together; it is amazing on vanilla ice cream). As simple as making jam may be, I knew then that I wanted to try more of her recipes. I immediately ordered her cookbook when it was released.

Some of her recipes I might consider slightly posh, but trust me when I say they still easily doable and sound absolutely delicious. Just remind me to try her Grilled Artichokes again, now that I actually know how to properly eat them. *facepalm* Also, her hostess flair comes through in the last section of the book called “Picture Perfect Parties” – which has menu, decor ideas, and other such notes for hosting various types of get-togethers (i.e. tailgates, brunches, family campouts, etc.)

The Home Cook: Recipes to Know by Heart

BY ALEX GUARNASCHELLI

Over the years watching Food Network and Cooking Channel, I’ve really become a fan of Alex Guarnaschelli. She’s a fellow Italian (Italians have an unspoken bond lol), the first female to win Iron Chef and the second overall female Iron Chef (after Cat Cora), but really... the lady just knows her stuff. When I heard that she was releasing a cookbook, I was super excited to get my hands on it. Yes, me being excited about books of any form is a recurring theme for me.

One thing I look forward to in Alex’s cookbook – as well as with Giada’s down below – is experiencing how a fellow Italian does Italian food (although that is merely a portion of The Home Chef). We all have our own interpretations of Italian dishes based on our individual backgrounds. But I suppose that could be true of many cultures and many dishes.

Also mildly prevalent in Alex’s cookbook is the sort of... “upscale” demeanor that I might associate with professionally educated chefs. It’s not many cookbooks you find recipes for bouillabaisse, unless they trained went to culinary school or studied in France – or in Alex’s case, the two combined (she attended La Varenne Cooking School in Burgundy, France).

Magnolia Table: A Collection of Recipes for Gathering

BY JOANNA GAINES

I always try to resist the charm of Chip and Joanna Gaines... but guys, it’s really hard. And, not gonna lie, a lot of the merchandise from their line at Target is SO PRETTY and on my wishlist 😍 Damn you, Gaines’s.

While I am not entirely into the modern farmhouse aesthetic showcased on Fixer Upper or loosely included in their Target line, I am really feeling the down-to-earth homey recipes that Joanna shares in Magnolia Table. Many have that “fresh from the farm” Southern feel (based on her childhood in Kansas), where a handful of others include her Korean and Lebanese heritage.

Eat What You Watch: A Cookbook for Movie Lovers

BY ANDREW REA

I discovered this book at work and I absolutely LOVE the concept! In fact, I’ve been plotting a project for myself with a similar concept (more on this later).

Eat What You Watch encompasses 40 recipes to help recreate the amazing food moments in film – butterbeer from Harry Potter, the apple strudel from Inglorious Basterds, the titular ratatouille from Ratatouille. Essentially, this cookbook is the PERFECT way to combine my two favorite things. And I’ll get to watch some new movies in the process 😋

Giada’s Italy: My Recipes for La Dolce Vita

BY GIADA DE LAURENTIIS

I have an... interesting connection to Giada de Laurentiis.

Noooo, no it’s not just because of our shared Italian heritage (she was born in Rome!), but rather a foodie experience I had a few years ago.

In late 2016, I traveled to Las Vegas with my aunt for her birthday. As a special birthday meal, we dined at Giada’s namesake restaurant on Vegas Strip. Sparing you the details, I think this was actually the first fancy-ish and refined dining experience I’ve ever really had. I spared no expense and splurged as much as I could, from appetizer to dessert. I really don’t know how to explain it properly but Giada just holds a special place in my and my aunt’s hearts thanks to this experience we shared. Later on, I even planned and together we cooked an entire meal inspired by our experience, utilizing Giada’s own recipes from her website Giadzy.

Unlike her other books, however, I felt that this one was more authentic. There are the people that want “everyday” and “weeknight” recipes for oversimplified meals, but Giada’s Italy to me just felt more... real. More Giada than her other titles. And, as I mentioned along with Alex Guarnaschelli’s book, I look forward to tasting Giada’s interpretation of Italian food, especially knowing that Giada’s recipes incorporate a Californian flare, spawning by her childhood in Los Angeles.

Bread Illustrated BY AMERICA'S TEST KITCHEN

This cookbook is part of my ever-evolving desire to cook more items from scratch. As an Italian (I know I know, I’ve already mentioned this too much in this post), there are two things we (or at least I) really love as eaters: pasta and bread. It seems only natural for me to be excited to utilize this book. And, of course, it makes the house smell amazing! There’s nothing like the aroma of baked goods. I am always so fascinated by how varying measurements of flour, yeast, and wet ingredients can create beautifully diverse loaves of bread.

Mediterranean Cookbook

EDITED BY MARIE-PIERRE MOINE

A final repetition of this concept – Mediterranean Cookbook is another way I want to discover Italian food interpretation. However, this title is also much, much more than that. The Greek, Spanish, Andalusian, etc. foods within Mediterranean Cookbook allow me to uncover the flavors of the entire region, flavors that go well beyond Italy. I just might have to get over my distaste for olives to tackle this one.

Equally as entertaining will be trying to understand and use the titles of dishes – most, if not all of them, are not in English. But, if anything, I consider it a way to immerse myself into the culture of each dish.

Regions include (listed in the index): Middle East, North Africa, Morocco, Portugal, Spain, France, Italy, Sicily, Greece, and Turkey.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: The Book of Greens: A Cook's Compendium by Jenn Louis with Kathleen Squires In a strange turn of events, I've taken an interest in *gasp* salads and vegetables and healthier foods 😝 And while I also purchased The Vegetable Butcher by Cara Mangini a couple years ago, I knew it couldn't hurt to get my hands on a book just about greens; how to select, break down, cook them AND what flavors pair well with them. Let's be real, I just love any book that is essentially an encyclopedia for chefs. Instant Pot Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook by Sara Quessenberry & Kate Merker Now that I have two Instant Pots in my possession (a 3-quart and an 8-quart), it is now a matter of actually using them. My first meal from the Pot was butternut squash soup, and I have since experimented with hard boiled eggs, a pot roast, and chicken breast (both from frozen!) that all turned out wonderfully... but I would definitely love to add more to my Instant Pot reportoire. I may still enjoy cooking the old fashioned way, but you can't deny how well the Instant Pot works. The Kinfolk Table: Recipes for Small Gatherings by Nathan Williams I got this book as an absolute steal at a garage sale; I think I literally only paid 10 cents. I may not read Kinfolk Magazine, but I was immediately drawn to the beautiful composition and cultural aspects of it. Not only does the cookbook encompass recipes from around the world, but also the stories that inspired them from the people who shared them. Although The Kinfolk Table is divided into Brooklyn, Copenhagen, The English Countryside, Portland (Oregon), and "The Wandering Table," the book's contributors span the entire globe.

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jerseydeanne · 6 years ago

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DM best Comments

Best rated The comments below have not been moderated

Jack Roth, London, United Kingdom, 8 hours ago Time to end this £300 million a year taxpayer funded ‘royal’ farce - Republic now. (Replies) New7883258 robzil45, cheshire, United Kingdom, 6 hours ago Why don’t you shut up yourself AmazingGrace77 People are entitled to their opinions,we are not all royal lovers and why should we be? New26153 Tiny CO2, Warrington, United Kingdom, 6 hours ago Most of the money goes towards upkeep of OUR buildings. Security. Entertaining guests of the UK and protecting our figure head and her family. Almost all of those costs would happen with or without the RF. New10166

sam my, Westworld, Togo, 6 hours ago This looks bad on the RF, why do you think she is concerned??? Let a charilty fund the so called RF, why not. Tax payers are tired the burden, so many other worthwhile projects could be funded for that money. New21164 Elle, Out there, Canada, 6 hours ago More made up trash by the DM. New7942 SmartTop, SnowdoniaSurf, United Kingdom, 6 hours ago What I find repulsive about Meghan Markle and Harry is that they use the Royal muscle with legal and the like to BULLY or “STRONG ARM” others. It is repulsive because they are not even using their own money. Funny Meghan Markle immediately started pushing “her weight around” but she is nothing more than a “TAKER” from the royal legal powers that be. New31291 Mythoughtsonthings, East Coast, United States, 6 hours ago Tourists never actually see much of the RF. I can’t imagine how much more money England would make if you got rid of the RF, opened up much more of Buckingham Palace and Windsor and other palaces. Keep the guard and the pomp and circumstance, but why taxpayers are funding these celebrity “royals” is beyond me. New22276 Janet, UK, United Kingdom, 6 hours ago She and Harry will regret not seeing him they had two years to meet him. The size he is with whatever health conditions he has mean he won’t live for long. Meghan will never be forgiven by the public for ignoring her dad. She was on talking terms with him before the wedding. She will go downn in history S the one than ruined the royal family. I hope they all go after the Queen. They have no standards look at Charles/Diana/Camilla wjat a mess that was a national disgrace why would or should we have that representing our nation. It’s time they all go away. New28252 BrandyCohen, New York City, United States, 5 hours ago Maybe this is the American in me, but thank god 1776 happened. How do you hard-working Brits do it? You pay money out of your own pocket for these people who live the posh life while you go without and subsidize it. The Royals seem like nice people, but so does my neighbor down the street. I’m sorry, but I don’t get the fascination. Americans shouldn’t become royalty. We abhor to class system. Always have and always will! New28204 sweetsexything, vancouver, Canada, 5 hours ago You guys are right! The Queen cannot decide Harry’s bride. However, the British can decide which Royal Family needs to be supported. Harry and Meghan (who shows up at least £2k for an event) need to fund themselves. But this is only a dream. Queen Elizabeth has been supporting non significant royal family members such as the KENTS. And it is ridiculous to hear that someone suggested, support Doria and Mr. Markle living and house expenses. I hope the British is not supporting Doria. But…. but… maybe RF is already supporting her since she is not working anymore. Ridiculous!!! Sleeping Britain. New9208 Pgtips2018, Ashford, United Kingdom, 5 hours ago Rubbish! It will be the ruin of the country if that ever happens. Our beloved Royal Family is what makes this country great! New12750 JR, San Francisco, 5 hours ago Great point, @Mythoughtonthings - whenever I’ve spent time in England it hasn’t been to “hopefully see the Royals”. Castles, museums, parks, cities, restaurants, etc will continue to exist with or without the RF, and I would definitely continue to visit. Over time, I’ve come to agree with folks who think that the Queen’s reign would be a good point at which to bring down the curtain on the RF, a fitting finale. She’s done a great job, but pondering the next monarchs doesn’t fill me with confidence that they’ll lead as well. At ALL. New16153 redder, Vienna, Austria, 5 hours ago It creats billions New10734 ShireView, Cheltenham, United Kingdom, 5 hours ago Jack Roth is going to be mortified. He is a red tick addict. How can you green tick him? New2434 bingofan, West, United Kingdom, 4 hours ago Lol @Jack - Check out Republic`s own poll taken in May. Only 16% of the British people would like to see the monarchy come to an end on the death of HM the Queen. Even Meghan and the US Markles will not be able to bring it down. Charles will be King. New8335 D63, Greenville, United States, 4 hours ago LoveThisLife, do tell more! New342 Aunt Ann, Forsyte Change Bayswater Rd, United Kingdom, 4 hours ago I¿m confused! Eberyone said Meghan was the narcissist. Now she tells us that, it Is her Dad who is the narcissist (one finger pointing at him, and three fingers pointing back at herself?!). What on earth does all those mean? New1682 UhOhGameOver888, Babylon, United States, 3 hours ago Bingofan, people support the Queen, that is who they support. She embodies the monarchy and that is who they are supporting in those polls. Charles on the other hand is without question despised widely and deeply. Go to YouGov . co . uk and look up Charles aggregated rating for public approval per many, many YouGOvv polls. It is -7. That’s right MINUS Seven! And Camilla’s is -20. MINUS Seven and MINUS 20 is ABYSMAL. Big Ears may go for broke and force through his coronation after HM passes but he won’t be on the Throne long. Either he will step down for William or the monarchy will end. The BRF will never survive a King Charles and Queen Consort Camilla. New1258 mforever, London, United Kingdom, 3 hours ago Aunt Ann - A true narcissist has a complete lack of insight and will often portray themselves as the victim when they are in fact the villa in. Mr Markle has consistently been portrayed as a shy, humble man in stories from several years back and until today. New354 mforever, London, United Kingdom, 3 hours ago Aunt Ann - A true narcissist has a complete lack of insight and the narcissistic perpetrators typically portray themselves as the victims. Mr Markle has consistently been portrayed as a shy, humble man in every story written about him describing him from years back until today. New337 SenseMaker, Seattle, United States, 3 hours ago That means Like Father, Like Daughter. And an apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. When I read it, it’s such an irony that she calls her father narcissist when she’s also one. LOL New862 LightDweller, Bournemouth, United Kingdom, 3 hours ago Harry, you and your grotesque wife need to go. Neither of you are fit to represent this country. New895 Xbox-vs-playstation, Virtual world, United Kingdom, 3 hours ago So when Cornyn said the same thing DM readers hated him. Now the royal family has someone brown they dislike the royal now New416 UhOhGameOver888, Babylon, United States, 2 hours ago Brown. … What a joke! Meghan has lighter skin than many Anglo people. And SHE’s the 0reo who narrowed her nose, straightened her kin ky hair and hides it with wigs, dates only Whyte rich men, and has one sole B la ck friend (Serena W., who is really more of an acquaintance than a friend). She has never affiliated herself with any B l ack community-focused work, centrist or otherwise, despite claiming to be an “progressive activist”. She is the biggest r@ce passer ever. She only turned her “Royal” wedding into Amateur Night at the Apollo Theater because it fit her R card agenda against the Royals and the U.K. Press to do so. It was just another exploitative brick in her PR wall. New468 Kittenwhisperer, Hove, United Kingdom, 2 hours ago Jack dear heart I’ve missed you! New523 Lappidoth, UK, United Kingdom, 2 hours ago She tried entering while flipping the r card by releasing a statement on it before she got in there. Problem is, we can’t stand the sight of her, regardless to skin, although we are a bit gingerist now if that counts for anything? I put my comment in, some snowflake had it removed, feel free to consult my profile. My comment stands.

New560 Be Aware, Los Angeles, United States, 8 hours ago Of course she’s past all that - why, she’s a successful gold miner!! (Replies) New4542799 LittleMissChester, Chester, United Kingdom, 7 hours ago She’s embarrassed of him. She’s very materialistic and is very self absorbed. She doesn’t want an embarrassment like him hanging around. New25373 Nomdeplume, melbourne, 7 hours ago No fan. But I never believe a story that says 'close friends’ or 'source’. New36183 Audreyshepburn, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, 7 hours ago She doesn’t need to be reminded of her trashy family background anymore. New51169 JS, Somerset, United Kingdom, 7 hours ago The sick, elderly daddy she has publicly stated she adored, who brought her up alone and spent all his money on, has been unceremoniously dumped as the self styled humanitarian has no further use for him. New19320 LittleMissChester, Chester, United Kingdom, 7 hours ago I’m not saying he is but I believe she thinks he is New1484 Whitewinger, Ktown, United States, 7 hours ago Obviously she does Audrey…they ARE her family..whether she chooses to associate with them or not..personally just from the fact she has not even seen her father since she got married speaks volumes about HER. New15195 Babe, In Belgium, 7 hours ago Team Meghan. You like her dad so much, you are welcome to him. New19028 Louisa, London, United Kingdom, 7 hours ago @ Nomdeplume - “close friend” has always been recognised in the industry if not actually from the horse’s mouth, then from someone instructed to speak on the person’s behalf. The DM has run many, many stories with a close friend or source cited, and they’re always pretty close to the truth which inevitably with this woman, shakes out sooner or later. New9209 AmazingGrace77, London, United Kingdom, 7 hours ago Do you know her or are you talking from experience…. New21045 Ingie_1999, Nowhere, United States, 7 hours ago Watch when she gets pregnant … Oh, brother! New23239 Mbb, Chicago, United States, 5 hours ago She’s worth her own millions do some research! New14927 Tuneful, Silver Spring MD, United States, 5 hours ago So HE’s the narcissist?! Talk about “pot, meet kettle.” New7103 Eve, London, United Kingdom, 5 hours ago @Mbb, they know, just the sort of people who hang on to being negative at all costs. New234 HRH 2, London, United Kingdom, 5 hours ago Mbb: then why didn’t she dress like this before Harry, eh? She didn’t even own a home or car. She spent all her money on PR to get into the circles of someone rich and famous in the UK. New7120 lokoti, norwich, United Kingdom, 4 hours ago The same applys for her marriage- she’s been down that road many times! New566 LeeG., Branson, United States, 4 hours ago So many catty remarks. Meow. New5316 FunnyToo, Atlantic, Western Sahara, 4 hours ago Spot on! Move onto the next mine after one is depleted! If anyone thinks this helps improve her image in any way :) :) :) :) :) :) New635 miaumiau66, Nowhere, United Kingdom, 4 hours ago Golldd digggg@ New674 Taurus777, Botosani, United Kingdom, 4 hours ago Once he dies she’ll be crying for ages..no matter what lies she tells herself now. New1444 UhOhGameOver888, Babylon, United States, 3 hours ago “Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder with a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.” That’s the textbook definition of narcissism. That fits Meghan Markle the user to a T, not dumped Papa Markle who sacrificed so much for her – he could have lived very well off his multiple jobs income and his lottery winnings but instead he sank it all into Meghan and lived in a modest, low-rent flat. Who has Meghan EVER sacrificed anything for? She uses and dumps people and pets and hasn’t a giving bone in her body. New11140 CelesteT, Devon, United Kingdom, 2 hours ago Gameover, you are spot on! Narcs come out on top because they will trample over anyone to get there! That is Meghan to a T not her poor old lonely father.

#DM #best comments #heaven #thank you #submission

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hellyeahrihannafenty · 7 years ago

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The Totality: Rihanna | ELLE Magazine

Let’s just call Rihanna what she is: the coolest woman on the planet—with beauty, talent, attitude, and personal style to spare. Here, the global megastar answers questions from a cross-section of her famous fans.

Somewhere between releasing her debut single “Pon de Replay” (to blitzkrieg effect) in 2005 and sitting down to discuss international education with Emmanuel Macron in 2017, Rihanna has become much more than a pop star. The music is still absolutely vital, yes—her eighth album, Anti, which has been kicking up dust on the dance charts since it dropped last year, was deemed by Forbes to be one of the most successful recordings of all time—but as an icon, she represents something far greater: what a woman can achieve when she tackles her career, and her life, on her own terms. Rihanna is always fearlessly, unapologetically herself, whether she’s making maverick fashion choices on the red carpet, calling out body shamers, or adding yet another unmistakably RiRi-stamped endeavor to her string of (singer-actress-designer-entrepreneur-philanthropist-etcetera-etcetera) hyphenates. We can now add beauty mogul to that list.

The singer has poured her uncompromising attitude into a much-awaited makeup line, Fenty Beauty by Rihanna, poised to launch with a big bang of 91 products on September 8 at Sephora (expect lines) and on the brand’s website (Internet = broken). Its focus, perhaps surprisingly from a practiced maquillage peacock who has been known to rock vivid blue and ink-black lipstick with defiant flair, is gleaming, satiny, flawless skin, built around an assortment of user-friendly highlighting and contouring sticks, and a whopping 40 shades of foundation. “The biggest void I’ve found in the industry is the lack of variety in foundation shades,” Rihanna tells us. “That’s one of the things that was most important to me—to make sure everyone was included.” It’s a nod, too, to the complexion-perfecting gateway drug that ushered the Barbados native into beauty in the first place: “Foundation was the first product I ever owned,” she says. “It was like magic, and I’ve been in love with makeup ever since.”

Avidly hands-on throughout the collection’s development, Rihanna helmed everything from the playful name selection (there’s a gold powder highlighter, for instance, dubbed Trophy Wife) to the packaging, which, like its creator, is multifaceted, with tough, graffiti-inspired outer boxes opening onto sleek, streamlined, sweetly pretty individual products. “There are plenty of options out there when it comes to makeup,” Rihanna says. “My approach with Fenty Beauty was just to do things my way.”

19 QUESTIONS FOR RIHANNA, FROM 20 OF HER FRIENDS AND FANS

Tyra Banks, Model/Entrepreneur: You’re so successful and surrounded by people who want to please you. Who gives it to you straight?

Rihanna: For me, it’s my mama. They all fake, LOL, and fired!

Eminem, Rapper: You don’t seem like you’re ever thinking about trends when you go in the studio, yet you end up setting them. What are you looking at when you start your recording process?

Rihanna: I rarely know exactly what I want to do, but always know exactly how I want it to make me feel. Feeling always leads the sound!

Wyclef Jean, Rapper: The last time I saw you was at the World Cup. If you could be any football player in the world, who would it be?

Rihanna: Cristiano Ronaldo. But then again, Beckham did marry Posh Spice.

Laura Kim and Fernando Garcia, Designers, Oscar de la Renta: What’s your best vintage find?

Rihanna: On New Year’s Eve, 2016, I bought this costume from 1952 that was worn in the movie Singin' in the Rain.

“Rihanna is today’s most fascinating performer, a mysterious amalgam of amiable warmth and glittering charisma. With her keen creative eye for line and color, she has become a fashion icon, like Audrey Hepburn. Yet she is a tempestuous wild child and international adventuress, like Ava Gardner. Most importantly, as an artist in this overmechanized age, she bravely draws on deep wells of pure emotion, endearing her to millions of fans worldwide.” —Camille Paglia,Author/Critic

Tricky Stewart, Record Producer: Do you remember the first time a crowd gave you goose bumps singing all the lyrics to your song in concert?

Rihanna: Yes! I was on tour, and the whole crowd started singing “Take a Bow” word for word…to the point that I couldn’t even sing. They performed the entire song for me.

April Bloomfield, Chef: What do you cook when you want a little comfort?

Rihanna: Bajan macaroni pie, which is our version of a baked mac ’n’ cheese.

Zac Posen, Designer: What’s your secret family recipe?

R:It’s a secret! LOL. But they make a mean “cook-up” and pepper pot. Both are Guyanese recipes.

Jacquie Aiche, Jewelry Designer: What’s your favorite body part?

R: Well, my favorite body parts on pretty much any woman are the collarbone and shoulders.

Charli XCX, Singer/Songwriter: What’s your ultimate karaoke song?

R: Bon Jovi, “Livin’ on a Prayer”; Journey, “Don’t Stop Believin’ ”; Brandy and Monica, “The Boy Is Mine.”

"Rihanna brings ‘global gumbo’ to the culture. Her voice unites the world through positive music vibes." —Wyclef Jean, Rapper

Danielle Steel, Best-Selling Author: I love your shoe passion, especially your collaboration with Manolo Blahnik. How much of the designing do they let you do?

R; They really give me all the creative freedom I could ask for, but of course I have this unique opportunity to work with Mr. Blahnik himself, so his expertise is always more than welcome!

Kelly Fields, Chef (Willa Jean, New Orleans): Your preferences in fashion and art appear to embrace the entire scale of highbrow/lowbrow—which is how I like to cook. I’d love to know if your preferences in munchies run along that same scale?

R: You mean KFC on a private jet is not normal?

Laverne Cox, Actress: You’ve had so many iconic fashion moments and take so many risks. The CFDA Awards Adam Selman dress in 2014—what gave you the courage to take that risk that was so perfect and elegant yet daring?

R: Dear Laverne, I took advantage of my titties before they go south. I saw my window, and I took it.

Pharrell Williams, Musician/Producer: You’re a pluralist in every sense of the word. Did you always have these dreams to do so many things, in addition to being an artist? Or have you just figured that out along the way that there are other things you can do very well?

R: I’ve always been a dreamer…or let’s just say I kept my options open. In my heart, I knew singing was gonna be in my future, but I considered psychology, hairdressing, banking, teaching, acting, modeling, aviation, and philanthropy. I just didn’t know I’d pretty much be doing all of these things eventually!

Gary Ross, Director, Ocean’s 8: What’s the first thing I should do when I get to Barbados?

R: [Fast-food] Chefette and a rum punch!

"I love Rihanna. I love that she is herself with no apologies. Her sense of style and self is unique. I love how she transforms herself with each album, each campaign. Always evolving. A true icon." —Venus Williams, Tennis Champion

David Copperfield, Magician: I’m not kidding, this is a real offer: I can make you disappear and reappear anywhere in the world. Where do you want to go, and why?

R: Ten minutes before I lost my virginity…and I’m holding you to that offer. LOL.

Emilio Vitolo, Restauranteur (Emilio's Ballato, New York City): What’s the name of the soup dish that’s the most popular in our region of Italy?

R: It’s my favorite on your menu...pasta e fagioli.

A$AP Rocky, Rapper: Tupac, Bob Marley, and Time: Fuck? Marry? Kill?

Shit, well, we stay killing Time. Fuck Tupac. Marry Bob, duh.

Olivia Wilde, Actress: What’s the most valuable mistake you’ve learned from?

No cheese for Jay Brown before a flight.

Patricia Field, Stylist: Would you consider having a cocktail with me sometime in the near future? I’d like to get to know you better. (Not hitting on you.)

Your place or mine?

"Rihanna’s MTV 2016 VMA performances were groundbreaking, paradigm- shifting moments in female swag. She represents badassery, positive self-esteem, and in a great way. She is powerful and vulnerable simultaneously, which makes her a revolutionary. Yes, she’s sexy, but once she’s got your attention, I don’t think you can ignore what she’s saying to you: She is curated and deliberate without feeling staged, and her intent is as real as anything out there. I respond to her as a writer, a woman, and a fan.” —Courtney Kemp, Showrunner/Creator, Power (Starz)

HERE, RIHANNA'S INSIGHT AS THE PROPRIETOR OF FENTY BEAUTY

ELLE: When did you first wear lipstick?

Lipstick always got me in trouble. Whether it was at home as a kid, or my early teenage years in my career, I always had the urge to wear it. So I broke all those rules. Now lipstick is like my li’l secret weapon!

What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done/tried for beauty? Would you do it again?

A corset! I’d do it again, though. I’d wear it every day if I could make it out alive!

What makes you feel dressy/“done,” beautywise?

My finishing touch is usually my highlighter. I love highlighter—it just adds this sense of fantasy to any look.

"What is incredible about Rihanna is that in a world facing a deadening crisis of leadership and the constant negation of creative efforts, her music globally moves and inspires us to be completely alive without restrictions or prohibitions." —Richard Phillips, Artist

Of all the celebrities you’ve met, who smells the best?

[Photographers] Inez and Vinoodh! Inez smells delicious. She actually gifted me her scent, because I always asked her about it.

Who’s your hair idol?

This is probably confusing to most, but it’s in between Toni Braxton from back in the day with all her short haircuts…and Cindy Crawford. She had the most effortless yet stunning hair.

Who’s your makeup idol?

I have to go with Veruschka. She made makeup look like silk!

This article originally appears in the October 2017 issue of ELLE. [Buy]

#Rihanna #Elle #Elle Magazine #Fashion #Fashion Icon #fenty beauty #cosmetics #full article #interview #2017 #magazine

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mermaidsirennikita · 7 years ago

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Chances are that once queenie croaks the monarchy goes with her. Liz II really is the last royal you can respect and accept as sovereign, while neither Charles, nor his sons or anybody in the family has this air about them. They don't have that true monarch inner stamina, like Liz, they just look and feel like some posh well groomed people. But like Kings? Nuh. I'm not sure monarchy will survive for long past Liz II's death imho. It's very outdated already and holds on Liz being a trooper.

What’s this “air” lol? The Windsors are no different from you and me, and never have been--they’re just more inbred and lucky.

If polls and the amount of money Kate and William’s wedding and babies have brought in are any indication, the monarchy is more popular than it has been in a long time. Elizabeth is not great catch of a person, imo--she’s been tone deaf in the past, was actually not that great a parent by all accounts, which can account for some of the less than intelligent decisions her children have made, and made some truly horrible decisions in the immediate aftermath of Diana’s death. People tend to forget that the most universally iconic person from that family was not originally from that family, hated it, and left it. I don’t doubt that Elizabeth is loved in England by many, but she’s not so popular in countries that her nation used to colonize--India still wants those jewels back girlie!--and here in the U.S. a lot of people consider her Diana’s bitchy mother-in-law who just should have let Charles marry who he wanted vs. bringing some 20 year old virgin into the mess that family was. I think pretty regularly the most popular people in the family are, according to surveys, Elizabeth, William, and Harry. The younger generation have been more emotionally open to the public than anyone was before them--which is good. It makes them look less like freaks of nature who are all a part of a tiny gene pool and more like normal people. Henry generated a ton of good will for the family by serving in the military as normally as he could. William and Kate’s babies have been welcomed in MY country by various landmarks lighting up pink or blue.

Elizabeth isn’t a monster, but she is a remnant of a time when the monarchy was cold and inaccessible and frankly horrendous at times. When she was growing up the family was a fucking mess--her grandfather wasn’t a great parent, her father was thrust into a role he shouldn’t have had to take on, her uncle was a Nazi sympathizer who sniped at his family for the rest of his life because his Nazi sympathizer life wasn’t as luxe as he wanted it to be. Margaret lived a miserable life in part because Elizabeth wasn’t as supportive of her as she wanted and in part because Margaret probably had a lot of mental health issues naturally that weren’t tended to because God forbid the royal family look weak, so she married a wastrel and descended into alcoholism. Philip is a racist who people just sort of brush off because it’s cute that old people do that. And Elizabeth... might not have as many direct issues as everyone else because she doesn’t let them out. But she lets it happen. She turned a blind eye to her son being absolutely miserable with the choice she pressured him into making; she ignored public outcry for a more emotional response to the death of her grandson’s mother because she was no longer a part of the family. Elizabeth was--and is, though she’s gotten better--incredibly out of touch. Her daughter-in-law caught the public imagination, did more charitable work than anyone in that family ever did, and revitalized that family. The Windsors were so desperate for relevancy that they tried to make Charles *CHARLES* the “adventure man” playboy prince when really he was a super shy virgin who couldn’t drive until he met Camilla. And even then for the large part he was pretty much stuck on that woman and that’s why he’s married to her decades later.

William and Harry could be as quiet and withdrawing as they obviously want to be, but people would still love them and still want to know how they are because they’re Diana’s sons. Because love her or hate her, she was pursued. People wanted to know her. And now the boys are doing things like bringing attention to mental health problems, working with the homeless--Harry had an HIV test done on Facebook Live. It may not be regal, but it’s human; and that’s what people want more than anything else.

If they could leapfrog over Charles they probably would, but they can’t and William very obviously does not want that. But unless there is an actual movement on the government’s part to get rid of the monarchy (which I doubt there will be) they aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. And again I take issue with this idea of regality because the Windsors are basically a gigantically fucked up family who are lucky that they ruined the right lady’s life and had her long enough to get two princes out of her.

#spoiler alert: i find elizabeth fascinating and sympathize with her on a psychological level #but i don't think that excuses the fact that she wasn't a good parent #and spent years trying to have her cake and eat it too #like lol you can't live as a 1950s queen and still be loved in the 80s and 90s girl #also seriously the royal family has a ton of shit stolen from countries they've colonized and that's another very fucked up thing #sure technically those things belong to the crown as an entity and not the family #but like...#come on #Anonymous

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bloonstuff · 8 years ago

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@theskamgirlsdeservebetter had me thinking what a Northern Irish Skam would look like. I feel like it would be set in Belfast, naturally. Maybe Eva would originally be from Holywood and had gone to Rudolph Steiner. Maybe that’s why she feels a little less intelligent than everyone else and struggles a bit, even though she’s very smart. Her accent would be slightly different, more posh, because that’s how people from Holywood tend to be. Think more Jamie Dornan as opposed to someone with a Belfast accent, which is harsher. I mean she could be from closer to the border and that would explain a different accent etc but I just like the idea of her going to Rudolph Steiner for some reason. And I’ve met people who have moved from Rudolph Steiner in later school years to help with their schooling because it’s alternative education doesn’t suit them. Maybe Eva has dyslexia or something.

I feel like the sectarian divide would probably feature and they’d have at least one season set near the Twelfth and parade season. I feel like rather than William being some rich douche, perhaps he’s from a rough loyalist family and maybe connected to the paramilitaries in some way. Which honestly suits the fact he’s called William because you know.. King Billy and all. This also suits the violence we see from William.

Noora would still be a feminist, obviously, but I feel like it would be more of her political views and her views on sectarianism etc that would be a big issue between her and William. Maybe she was brought up in a mixed family and it’s always been important to her to have a diverse set of friends and not let that divide dictate anything in her life. Or maybe while she’s not particularly religious, she could be a nationalist. Which would definitely be an obstacle between her and William. Lol.

Then we have Sana’s character, growing up in such a polarised country that lacks in racial diversity, and not fitting into either of the main camps of Catholicism/Protestantism or rather nationalism/unionism. And how the fact Northern Ireland is so stuck in the past it breeds a lack of understanding towards minorities and racism.

Vilde would have her pregnancy scare and it would be even scarier due to the fact abortion is illegal. She could contemplate the reality of finding a way to get to England and what it’s like for young girls who find themselves in that situation.

Isak would face coming out in the last place in the UK without equal marriage, with a political party in power that believes being gay is wrong and businesses should be allowed to refuse gay customers and gay people shouldn’t be allowed to adopt. Where your family will vote for those people because unionism is important above all else.

And don’t even get me started on our mental health system and what it might mean for Even.

#northern ireland #skam #my thoughts out loud #norn irish skam #headcanon

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thefloorisbalaclava · 8 years ago

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Intention - Shay Cormac x Fem!Reader (Part 1)

A/N: I’m pretty sure this was a request from @bunnyyumyum (you probably don’t remember sending it...it took me forever to get to and I’m sorry )about Templar!reader leaving England for America and joining the Colonial Rite. Shay shows her around NY and ends up catching feelings...but reader is not going to make it easy as you’ll see in this first part.

I’m not very confident about this one but maybe you’ll all like it more than I do.

Also this was supposed to be out for Shay Patrick’s Day but I suck and its late.

Words: 3,171 Warnings: None. Unless you need a warning for a very drunk and flirty Hickey lol.

This was the hundredth time in a few weeks that you had regretted getting on this ship to New York. Another stormy night had you holding on for dear life and trying to keep your dinner down.

“When will it end?!” you shout to no one. You were frustrated, tired, nauseous and just wanted off this ship already. The first few days were exciting – you had never been out at sea so you took in everything with childlike wonder. You even talked to the Captain until you were sure you were boring him with your questions. Now, you couldn’t wait to be back on land. Though you only had a few more days to go, it felt like forever.

You were eventually able to get to sleep though the stormy seas almost threw you to the floor a few times.

Why didn’t I just stay in England? You think to yourself. The truth was there wasn’t much left for you there. Your grandparents were the only family you had left and while your grandfather was busy with Templar business, your grandmother pestered you about getting married; that was not something that was in your immediate future. Instead, you wanted to follow in your father and grandfather’s footsteps. You expressed the interest to your grandfather and while he was excited about it, he didn’t want you to stay in England. Your father had just been killed and he didn’t feel that you were safe.

So here you were – on a ship sailing for the New World. Your grandfather had been in contact with a man named Haytham Kenway, who you assumed was the Grand Master of the Colonial Rite in New York. This man would be ‘taking care’ of you, so to speak, while you adjusted to life in a new place. He had made the same trip himself so you hoped he would help you feel at home somewhat.

In the final few hours of your trip, you stayed above deck, the sea air whipping around you. You inhale deeply as the Captain approaches you and apologizes for the stormy seas. He knew who your grandfather and father were so that made him a little more nervous than he had to be.

“There is no need for you apologize, Captain,” you reassure him. “You got us here in one piece and it’ll take more than a few stormy nights to get the best of me.” You smile at your little lie, knowing that you were ready to give up more than a few times during the trip. Your overconfidence got you into trouble more than you cared to admit.

“Land, sir!” one of the crewmen shout to the Captain. “Shouldn’t be more than three hours now, sir!” You smiled at that and the Captain let you look through his spyglass. You giggled when you could spot land; you were so close. You looked behind you almost as if saying goodbye to what was and looked forward again to say hello to what would be…your new life.

A few of the crewmen helped bring your belongings on deck as others helped drop anchor or ran off the ship looking for the nearest tavern. Some of them offer to carry your things down the gangplank for you, but you refuse.

“I’m quite capable of carrying my own things, gentlemen,” you say, grabbing the handle of the largest chest and dragging it behind you. You struggle a bit and hear a few snickers behind you which stop as soon as you turn on them. “Fine. Just help me off the ship then I’ll take care of it.” The men rush to your side and get your things off the ship quicker than you could have. You thank them, give them some money, and they go off to probably spend it on drink.

You look around the docks for anyone who may be this Haytham Kenway you were supposed to be meeting. Right away, a smartly dressed man (overly dressed if you could say so yourself) catches your eye. He was the only one with a long, flowing cape and looked as though he’d rather be anywhere but here. The man next to him looked a little more comfortable but also overly dressed in black and red robes with a rifle strapped to his back.

As you make your way over, you try to keep an eye on your belongings as well; you really didn’t need to be robbed on your first day in America. Haytham turns to you first and you flash him a polite smile which he doesn’t quiet return but you guess the twitch in his lip was supposed to be a smile.

“You must be the Grand Master,” you offer your hand and he takes it, “It is an honor to meet you, sir.” You finish with a small curtsy. The man standing next to Haytham laughs quietly then clears his throat. You look at him and squint but quickly turn your attention back to the Grand Master.

“The honor is mine, my lady. Please call me Haytham.” He let’s go of your hand and holds it out towards the man next to him, “This is Shay Cormac. Shay this is the traveler from England I was telling you about.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Cormac.” You only bow your head towards him since he seemed to find something amusing about your curtsy.

He takes your hand without you offering it, making you gasp. “Pleasure…and please, call me Shay.” He smirks and you snatch your hand back more aggressively than you wanted to.

“Please don’t mind him,” Haytham says, “He still doesn’t know how to compose himself around the fairer sex. We have been working on it.” The Grand Master flashes you a small smile this time and you laugh while Shay looks away sheepishly.

“I have a few belongings just there,” you point at your things, “Will someone be able to help me?”

“Ah yes, I’m sure Shay won’t have a problem getting your things to the tavern.” Haytham looks at Shay who seems a little less than excited that he’s been volunteered.

You walk him over to your things and pick up one of the smaller chests. “Thank you, Shay,” you say with a forced smile, “I owe you one.” You turn to make your way back over to Haytham.

“You rightly do,” Shay mumbles and you turn to him.

“I beg your pardon.”

“Nothing miss, just thinking out loud.” He lifts the other two chests with no problem and walks past you. You watch him, shocked and, you hated to say, impressed.

“We’ll be staying at the Green Dragon tavern, I hope you don’t mind. You’ll have your own room and all the privacy you need,” Haytham says.

“I don’t mind.” You smile, staring at Shay’s back. You turn to look at everything that was going on around you and run into what feels like a wall only to realize it was Shay. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” you say, embarrassed.

Shay turns to you and nods, “It’s nothing, my lady. We’re here.”

You look up at the building and the people going in and coming out. Surely this was the wrong place, you couldn’t stay here.

“Here we are,” Haytham confirms your fear. As you enter the building, you draw more attention than you would like and you find yourself moving closer to Shay.

He turns to you and gives you that smirk again, “Are you all right?”

“F-fine,” you lie, following Shay and the Grand Master up the stairs. It was a little quieter up here and you welcome that. There were a few men sitting at a table in deep discussion except for one who was drinking from a bottle and looked as though he had had enough about two bottles ago.

“That one’s trouble,” Shay whispers close to your ear and you jump. You glare at him and he shrugs, “Just thought I’d warn you.”

“I don’t need you to warn me about anything or anyone, Mr. Cormac. I am quite capable of taking care of myself, thank you.” You sounded a lot haughtier than you liked. Shay frowns and walks over to the table to join the other men.

You were about to walk into your room when Haytham called you over, stopping you in your tracks. You walk over to where he stands next to the table and before he can speak, the man who had been drinking from the bottle drops his feet to the floor and sits up as straight as he can in his chair.

“Who do we ‘ave here?” He slurs, ogling you openly. “You holdin’ out on us ‘ayfam?”

Haytham sighs and rolls his eyes as you try to hold back your laughter. “Please try to act like you have some sense of decency, Thomas.” He places his hand on your back to move you in front of him so that everyone could get a good look at you. “This is the person I’ve been telling you about. She made the same journey I made years ago, and is looking to become part of the Colonial Rite.”

You took the time to look at every man in turn, smiling gently and nodding. “It’s an honor to meet you all.”

One of the men clears his throat and stands, smoothing his clothing and his moustache, “I am Charles Lee, ma’am. How do you do?” He kisses your hand, his eyes never leaving you.

“Oi, Charles! Get off her, will ya!” the man called Thomas says almost making you laugh again.

The man next to him stands and introduces himself as William Johnson. He’s a little quieter and reserved. Thomas struggles to stand but does eventually and walks around the table to you.

“You must be Thomas,” you say holding your hand out to him but instead of taking your hand he wraps his arms around you and pulls you against him making you gasp.

“That I am, you beauty. I’d like to get to know you a lil better.” He winks and drags his tongue over his teeth before Haytham pulls you away as gently as he can. “C’mon ‘ayfam we was just ‘avin a bit o’ fun!”

“I don’t think the lady here is up for what you consider fun,” Haytham bites out.

“Ah, just because you’re a posh one don’t mean she is. Ain’t I right, love?” Thomas winks again and looks you up and down. You only smirk and look down so no one else catches the smile on your face.

“Moving on.” Haytham turns to Shay, “You’ve already met Shay. He was born and raised in New York and knows this place like the back of his hand. Isn’t that so, Shay?”

Shay stands and nods, “Yes, Grand Master.” His accent was starting to grow on you. As for everything else, well, only time would tell.

“Well, it’s wonderful to meet all of you. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to rest. I’ve had quite the journey and I’m afraid it’s taken a lot out of me.” All the men stand in respect and Thomas raises a bottle to you.

“If you need any help with that, jus let me know will ya?” He takes a swig and you laugh as you walk away, shaking your head. You were sure he was about to get a good scolding.

Your room was on the small side but anything was better than that thing you called a room on the ship. You sat on the bed and sighed. Once your grandfather sent you more money you would find yourself a nicer place to stay.

You change out of the stiff dress and into breeches and shirt, you’d put on the bodice later. The bed wasn’t as soft as you liked but you fell asleep in no time. Your dreams were rarely happy ones but that was something you kept to yourself.

You woke feeling a little more rested but you didn’t want to get out of bed just yet; someone was about to change that. There was a knock at your door and with a groan you get out of bed to answer it forgetting your state of dress. When you open the door, Shay’s eyes widen slightly before he looks away, “I, uh…”

“What is it?”

“You’re not…” He stammers.

You finally look down and gasp finally noticing that you still hadn’t put your bodice on over your shirt. You move behind the door, leaving only your head poking out, “W-what is it, Mr. Cormac?”

The rakish grin on his face was bothering you but it was also a little charming. “I’ve been volunteered…again. This time I am to show you around New York per the Grand Master.”

“I could rightly show myself around but since the Grand Master ordered it I guess I have no choice. Just let me get…properly dressed and I’ll be right out.”

There was that smirk again. “Right. I’ll let you get ready.” You swear you seem him wink before he turns away.

“Scoundrel,” you say quietly as you lace your bodice expertly. You fix your hair and step out of the room, drawing attention to yourself once again.

Thomas is the first to speak which isn’t very surprising even in the short time you’ve known him. “Oi, looky here! Where you off to lookin’ so lovely?”

You scoff at that and shake your head, “You flatter me, Thomas – I just threw this together…it’s much more comfortable than that dress.”

“You know what’s even more comfortable, love? No clothes at all!” Thomas laughs at himself and you find yourself laughing as well until Shay looks at you.

“Thomas, watch yourself!” he scolds, focused on you. “If you’re ready, miss…”

“I am. Goodbye gentleman and Thomas do save some for the rest of us,” you joke as you walk to the stairs hearing Thomas laugh out loud behind you.

Shay’s heavy footsteps are right behind you as you step outside. “What was that?” he asks.

“What was what, Mr. Cormac?”

“That…banter you were having with Thomas?” He stands in front of you blocking your path so you have to look up at him.

“It was just that. Banter. Is there something wrong with that?”

“I told you to steer clear of that one,” he scolds.

“It was harmless! It’s not like I jumped onto his lap and kissed him!” You walk around him and can’t decide which way to turn. He catches up to you and grabs your arm. “Let go, Mr. Cormac.”

“No. You don’t even know where you’re going and if I lose you I can forget about coming back.”

“I’d figure it out…eventually,” you say as you look around the area dumbfounded.

“Right. Let’s go.” He takes the lead and you follow reluctantly trying your hardest to keep up with his large steps. Haytham was right, Shay really did know this place like the back of his hand. You knew you wouldn’t remember half of what he was telling you but his voice was nice to listen to.

Soon you were walking beside him instead of behind him pointing out things you liked and laughing. “Do you have family, Mr. Cormac…a wife, children?”

“You have to call me Shay…and no I do not. The Templars are the closest thing I have to a family. There was someone I once considered a brother but…that was long ago.” He seemed to be lost in thought, his face not showing any sign of how he really felt. He looks up at the sky then at you, “We should get back, it’ll be dark soon and I could use a drink.”

“Okay Shay.” You walk next to him silently, glancing at him every now and then. He turns to look down at you suddenly and you look away.

“Will you be joining me for a drink?” he asks and you can hear the smile in his voice.

“Sure, no harm in one drink,” you say, “Unless Thomas is there.” You both laugh as you reach the door to the Green Dragon and Shay holds the door for you. Luckily, Thomas is nowhere to be found as you both settle down at a table and Shay gets the drinks.

“Hope you’re partial to ale,” he says placing your pint in front of you.

“Yes, thank you.” You take a sip and look into the cup. “Are you sure this isn’t water?”

Shay laughs loudly taking his seat across from you, “I’m afraid it’s the best they have.” You both drink quietly for a time, glancing at each other every now and then. You could already see this was going to be a problem. You couldn’t let this happen. No distractions. Just as you were about to speak, Shay does as well, “I was wondering if you’d want to…”

“Shay,” you push back from the table and stand, “Thank you for the tour and the drink. I shall see you tomorrow. Goodnight.” You walk away, wringing your hands and unable to look back because if you did you would want to go back. You would want to stay. He would say something that made your heart beat faster. He would say something that would make you look at him in a different light. You weren’t here for that. You were here for the Order and that was all.

In your room, you undress and get into bed. Just as you were closing your eyes you hear a scratching sound at your door. You light the candle next to your bed and find a piece a paper that had been slid under your door. You pick it up and begin to read:

You did not give me the chance to tell you how much I enjoyed tonight but I will tell you in this letter: it was the most I’ve smiled and laughed in a long time. I understand why you rushed off and I don’t blame you. We have only just met but it wasn’t my intention to scare you away. I was only going to ask you if you wanted to see my ship tomorrow.

I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me but, yes, I am attracted to you even when you do look down your nose at me.

Meet me down at the harbor tomorrow morning if you would like to see The Morrigan. If not, then I understand. I ask nothing of you except for a little of your time…and for you to call me Shay.

You read the letter three more times before putting it away and getting back into bed. You had a decision to make and it wasn’t an easy one. It wasn’t your intention to give him the wrong idea or to lead him on. It also wasn’t your attention to hurt him either.

Your first day in America and you’ve already run into your first complication and, of course, it was a man.

#Shay Patrick Cormac #Shay Cormac #Shay Cormac x Reader #Haytham Kenway #Assassin's Creed #Assassin's Creed: Rogue #AC Rogue #headcanon

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yeseggsy-blog · 8 years ago

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hey im an old friend, just thinking of u, hoping ur life is going well. if i may ask why did u switch to amanda instead of mindy?

Hello, old friend. I hope you end up seeing this.

After research and reading lots of books for professional women on how best to succeed in the working world, I’ve found that going by a name like ‘Mindy’ subconsciously infantilizes women in the minds of men and sometimes other women. ‘Mindy’ ‘Katie’ ‘Julie’ are more likely to be looked down upon and trivialized, even subconsciously, than ‘Amanda’ ‘Katherine’ and ‘Julia.’ It’s not fair, and I don’t like it, but that’s what my books are saying. It’s like William vs Billy. One is more approachable, the other more professional. (Looking at you Billy Bob Thorton, breaking the rules.)

So after going by ‘Mindy’ for 10 years, it’ll take awhile for the switch back to really sink in, you know? I’m going by Amanda online, and ordering food under the name Amanda and it’s still kind of weird lol. But I gotta get used to it.

I’m getting married in like 7 months, and my married name sounds so posh and powerful, gotta get used to it

probs more than you needed but that’s my reasoning

#Anonymous

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harryandmeghan0-blog · 6 years ago

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8 Of The Craziest Myths About The Royal Family

New Post has been published on https://harryandmeghan.xyz/8-of-the-craziest-myths-about-the-royal-family/

8 Of The Craziest Myths About The Royal Family

There’s always gossip surrounding the Royal Family and not just because Meghan Markle’s family just loves a chin wag with the press. But how on earth do we sort out the fact from the fiction, dahlings?

Well when it comes to the Markles, you might want to tune into MTV’s new show The Royal World (which starts 7th November at 10pm on MTV) to see Meghan’s nephew Tyler and a whole host of other posh people with royal connections live in a house together. Omg!

BUT FIRST, CHECK OUT THE EXCLUSIVE PROMO FOR THE ROYAL WORLD BELOW…

But until then we’ll just have to clear up a few crazy AF myths about Prince Harry, Prince William and the rest of the fam because no one likes fake news…

1. Elizabeth I was actually a male imposter

This is some soap opera shiz and we love it. Apparently it was actually Dracula author Bram Stoker who wrote in his 1910 book Famous Impostors that when Lizzy was a child she was sent to the countryside to escape the plague but actually ended up falling ill and dying. Her caretakers were so scared of her father, Henry VIII that when he came to visit they scrambled to replace her with another child. It turned out that there were no girls that looked enough like her so they chose a little boy who fooled the King and went onto rule the country. She ended up being named the Virgin Queen because she never had a sexual relationship. Obsessed.

2. Prince Charles wastes a ton of eggs each day

According to Jeremy Paxman in his book On Royalty, Charles demands seven boiled eggs each morning for breakfast but only eats one. Apparently he likes to mull over the level of how cooked he wants his egg each day. But the Prince was clearly bothered by this and set the record straight on the family’s website after a fan asked if it was true. A spokesperson wrote: “No, he doesn’t and never has done, at breakfast or any other time.” We’ve had that same rumour plague us…

3. The Queen is a binge drinker

I mean we’d take her out if this bad boy was true. In 2017 her former chef Darren McGrady was misquoted saying that she drinks a strict four cocktails each day. After realising a bunch of media outlets had picked the story up, he issued a correction. He told Reader’s Digest: “I’m pretty confident she doesn’t have four drinks a day. She’d be pickled.”

4. The Queen doesn’t want Charles to be king

Family dramaaaaa alert! Because Prince William and the fam are so popular, many people believe that the Queen wants to skip a generation and make William the king when she passes. But it turns out this isn’t true and she doesn’t actually have the power to pick her successor. Bet Charles is well put out though.

5. Meghan Markle must curtsy to anyone within the Palace who outranks her

Around her wedding in 2018, a rumour circulated that because Meghan was just a ‘commoner’ she had to curtsy to anyone in the Royal Family that was of a higher station than her, i.e. Prince William and the rest. It turns out that this is only half true. Although she would have to curtsy in a formal setting to Queen Elizabeth, Prince Philip, Prince Charles, Duchess of Cornwall, Prince William, and Duchess of Cambridge, she wouldn’t if she was just hanging watching Netflix with Kate Middleton. Royal expert Myka Meier told news.co.au: “If it’s in Buckingham Palace at a formal event, yes, she would curtsy. If she’s just passing Prince Charles in their private home on a typical day, I don’t think she would be expected to curtsy every time to his Royal Highness. He is, after all, family.”

6. Prince George isn’t allowed to wear trousers

It’s been thought that the little Prince is forced to wear trousers even in the coldest Winter months, which seems cruel tbh. Thankfully we don’t have to call Childline because there is no such rule. It’s totally up to Kate and Will what they dress him in. Give the boy a break you guys.

7. The guards at Buckingham palace are actually all actors

Lol no. They are all members of the British Army and protect the security of Buckingham Palace. Wouldn’t that be a really pointless acting job? Oh and word of advice, turns out they get really mad when you ask them…

8. Harry and Meghan’s child could be a royal and run for U.S. president.

There’s been a lot of chat that Megan and Harry’s kid could simultaneously be President and King or Queen. Can you imagine? You’d be life’s eternal winner. But according to American law this isn’t the case. It reads: “No Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under [the United States], shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign State.” Boooo.

And now, check out some exclusive The Royal World vids just for your highnesses….

Don’t miss The Royal World when it lands on our screens on Wednesday 7th November @ 10pm – only on MTV!

Source: http://www.mtv.co.uk/the-royal-world/news/8-of-the-craziest-myths-about-the-royal-family

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