#i lied hes my wife
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
congratulations to Asagiri Gen for winning the Dead Wife Award while being neither a wife or dead



#i lied hes my wife#but seriously hes so dead wife core....#if there's ever a sequel that's set farther in the future u can bet that gen would be dead and this is how senku would remember him#or his ghost/memory would keep like poking fun at him when he's stressed#'oh my dear senku i would've thought you'd have learned by now when to let something rest...'#dr stone#dcst#gen asagiri#asagiri gen#drst
334 notes
¡
View notes
Text
AU, where Luo Binghe meets Shen Yuan under different circumstances. Precisely, when one of his wives comes to him to ask for divorce.
Because sheâs kind of in love with Shen Yuan, as it happens.
It goes like this:
Shen Yuan is having a great time being a transmigrator. He had quite a safe landing with being an NPC whoâs never been mentioned in the book, so heâs not about to be killed by Luo Binghe anytime soon, and heâs doing great avoiding him.
Until he meets Ban Li. Sheâs so pretty and feisty she bound to become Luo Bingheâs wife one day, and Shen Yuan doesnât want to be seen next to her when it happens. Heâs not a suicidal idiot, despite what Ban Li says the first time they meet.
â-an utter degenerate! To face a Venomous Flying Spider in your own! What the hell were you thinking?â She yells, after cutting two back legs of the spider in one sharp swing of her sword, rendering beast to a withering, scaly pile. âAt least you had a presence of mind to cut the wings first! Idiot!â
Who gives compliments like that? Shen Yuan sighs and positions himself more comfortably on the ground.
âAs this one already said, everything was under control.â
âHa!â Ban Li barks out, her eyes glowing green. Ah, must be a demoness, then. âUnder what control? Be thankful for this oneâs grace or your legs will be cut off!â
Shen Yuan laughs and offers Ban Li some sweets he always carries in his pouch. Things go smoothly after that â Ban Li accompanies him for next week, claiming she has a task of exterminating beasts in the area.
âHusband will want a report soon, but this one has time to spare.â Ban Li mentions one day.
âBan Li is married?â Shen Yuan freezes. âIsnât it inappropriate to- I mean for us, to. Uh.â
âThis one was unaware Shen Yuan was courting.â Ban Li giggles, twirling a lock of her hair around her thin finger.
âIâm not!â
Ban Li laughs and leans closer to Shen Yuan, eyes glimmering.
âIf you were,â She says, low and intimate. âI would agree. I would leave my absent husband and runaway with you.â
Ah. Now Shen Yuan sees how it is. Ban Li is not infatuated with him. Sheâs just-
âBan Li, are you unhappy in your marriage?â He asks, heart breaking for this feisty, sweet demoness.
âWill Shen Yuan make it better?â Ban Li asks pitifully. Shen Yuan nods.
He will talk to that good-for-nothing husband of her and make him let Ban Li go. Sheâs promised to Luo Binghe, anyway, for plot purposes. Heâll just help smooth the process.
Several days later Ban Li takes Shen Yuan to a camp. Itâs big, obviously expensive, and Ban Li looks almost shaky as they near the biggest, most impressive tent.
âBan Liâs husband is⌠powerful.â Shen Yuan notes.
âHe is.â Ban Li nods. âBut this one doesnât need his power.â
âOf course you donât.â Shen Yuan nods. âWeâll make him see sense.â
Ban Li smiles at him, teeth sharp and eyes sharper.
âShen Yuan is confident even in the face of the Emperor.â
Shen Yuan freezes.
âBan Li.â He says, very quietly and very slowly. âAre you married to Luo Binghe?â
âNot for long!â Ban Li answers brightly.
Oh shit. Oh fuck.
âBan Li.â Shen Yuan groans. âWhat the hell? Why on earth would you want to divorce Luo Binghe?â
âTo stay at Shen Yuanâs side.â Ban Li says.
âHave you gone mad?â Shen Yuan demands. âAre you completely, utterly crazy? Who in their right mind would want to leave Luo Binghe to stay with me?!â
âShen Yuan!â Ban Li whines. âYou promised!â
âI didnât know you were going to divorce the best person in the whole universe!â
Ban Li gasps at him.
âDo you want to marry Lord Luo?â
âNo!â Shen Yuan says. âIâm a man, Ban Li.â
âSo what?â
Shen Yuan feels like heâs going grey from the sheer ridiculousness of the situation.
âBan Li, weâre losing a thread of the conversations here.â He says. âYou cannot divorce Luo Binghe.â
âWhy?â
âBecause itâs stupid! Have you seen him? Heâs the smartest, strongest, bravest man ever. Heâs extremely good looking. Heâs lived through hell and persisted. Heâs amazing, Ban Li! You canât leave him to stay with me, are you kidding? I thought you were smart!â
Ban Li pouts at him, folding her arms like a petulant child.
âIf Shen Yuan is in love with Lord Husband-â
âIâm not!â
âNo? Then why are you praising him so?â
âBecause I have common sense?â
âI donât want to get back to harem while Shen Yuan is risking his life fighting dangerous beasts!â
âBan Li, Iâm begging you.â Shen Yuan says. âYou will regret your decision.â
âI will regret not seeing Shen Yuan anymore.â
âNonsense!â
âI will run away.â
âBan Li.â
âTry me. I will.â
Shen Yuan sighs, hiding his face in his hands. Heâs so going to die today.
âDo you suppose your Lord Husband might need a librarian?â
Ban Li squeals and drags Shen Yuan into the tent.
Luo Binghe, whoâs been silently listening to the whole conversation, hires him immediately. He doesnât claim to know Ban Li well, but they definitely agree on one thing: Shen Yuan mustnât ever leave.
#I will get back to my wips#I will#but first have some fanboy shen yuan wife beaming everything he touches#I kinda love ban li now ugh#svsss#bingyuan#svsss ficlet
767 notes
¡
View notes
Text
what if i wrote a âshen yuan transmigrates into a wifeâ oneshot but the whole premise is based on the song âgone, iâm goneâ from hadestown and its overall theme is wanderlust and freedom and it starts out as Shen Yuan settling into life in the palace and trying to avoid harem drama and thinking he can just live with his head down for the rest of his new life, only to be hit with a sudden intense yearning to explore his new world the likes heâs never felt before. What if he was sickly in his last life. What if he spent his entire last life indoors. Trapped between four walls. What if love is not a gilded cage. What if he begins clawing at the walls of his enclosure, desperate to escape because he wants to live, god please let him live. He canât do this again. What if he spent months preparing for his escape and in that same breath getting the attention of some of the other wives around him because he has changed and it makes them wary. what if he got bingheâs attention as he is wont to do. What if he left. What if Shen Yuan was born with a bottomless pit in his stomach and a gaping maw in his chest. What if he was starving. What if he was starving for the world around him. What if i wrote that. What then
#svsss#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#scum villain#scum villain au#scum villans self saving system#svsss au#luo binghe#luo bingge#its the same wife transmigration plot no.143 but its starry coded#and what if i made it a songfic what then. what if i titled it âlove is not a gilded cageâ#what if there was no system in this au. just shen yuan on his own#and what if i made it part of a oneshot series with each oneshot depicting an adventure shen yuan goes on#he will eventually find his way back to binghe but not before he finds himself first#what if starry went the fuck to bed#what if the wife he ended up as was someone childish or loud or considered naive and then suddenly sheâs not bc sheâs sy now#and he has no system and heâs alone with no allies and he is STARVING. he is ravenous. he wants to see the world please let him see the wor#world. let him out please please please please#all the wealth within these walls could never buy the thing called love#he cares for binghe greatly. thats his fave character! but he wants out please let him out. you wont even notice heâs gone orpheus#youâll find another muse somewhere.#luo bingge is a good hunter but shen yuan is a good hider.#i want ning yingying to find sy in the gardens one day and suddenly see her shizun. sy wanted to try doing sqqâs signature move bc it#seemed simple and easy enough and nyy saw him. and she asks him where he learned that. and he panics and lies and says in a dream somewhere#gnaws on the bars of my cage
276 notes
¡
View notes
Text
11 NEW DANMEI LICENSES AND A FINALE!!!! WE FEAST IN 2025












#Pfft having money?#Never heard of her#astrolabe rebirth#My husband and I sleep in a coffin#The villainâs white halo#Thereâs something wrong with the chief#The white catâs divine scratching post#The unseen immortal of three hundred years#Copper Coins#after the disabled god of war became my concubine#The wife comes first#the disabled tyrant's beloved pet fish#mistakenly saving the villain#thrice married to a salted fish#Feng Yu Nie#Bi ka bi#Mu Su Li#fei tian ye xiang#Lv Ye Qian He#Wu Shui Bu Du#Yang Su#Liu Gou Hua#Hao Da Yi Juan Wei Sheng Zhi#Danmei#seven seas#Mxtx#priest#Girl help I donât know these fandomsâ acronymsđ#The governor is sick
355 notes
¡
View notes
Text
DINNER IS (finally) SERVED
3000ish words later and part 8 is here! hope you guys enjoy!
(p.s my headcanons explainations are in the tags if you're curious)
(p.p.s credit also goes to @rin-solo for the first headcanon )
the post/thread that started this whole au
dinner scene: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7
there's a masterlist now!
*odysseus is making his way to the dining hall, while athena and poseidon are following behind*
poseidon: *looking around at the decorations/tapestry dotted around*
poseidon: *seeâs a tapestry of what looks to be a very much younger odysseus in full king & armour attire*
poseidon: *stops walking, and turns to look at the actual odysseus in front of him, then back at the tapestry*
poseidon: *to odysseus with a sardonic tone* do your weavers like making you look like a boy, or was that a decision you made to make yourself look younger?
odysseus: *pauses his walking to see what poseidon is talking about*
athena: *also pauses and turns to poseidon*
odysseus: *sees the tapestry in question*
odysseus: *sighs* of course you point that one outÂ
athena: *who knew odysseus before he was king*
athena: *glaring at poseidon* uncle, you shouldnât make assumptions, especially when you donât know the facts
odysseus: *pats athena on the shoulder as he passes her*
odysseus: itâs fine athena
odysseus: *next to poseidon and looking up at the tapestry* if you must know, that is actually the age i was.Â
poseidon: *not believing him* yeah right, you couldnât be older than fifteen in this
odysseus: *turns to him with a sharp look* youâre correct, i was fifteen
poseidon: *slightly wary of odysseusâ mood* so⌠you became king at fifteen? isnât that a little bit young for a mortal to rule a kingdom?
odysseus: *turns back to the tapestry* i was already the king, i was actually crowned when i was thirteen
poseidon: *shocked and confused* why would a child be given a kingdom to run?
odysseus: *looks down with a sad smile, at the memory of his father telling him about him losing his mind, and how sorry he was to place such a huge responsibility on his young sonâs shoulders*
odysseus: well, i had no choice, but i would do it again if i had toâŚÂ
odysseus: *turns to athena* besides, i had athena to help guide me
athena: *smiles with a nod at odysseus*
odysseus: *starts walking in the direction of the dining hall again* anywayâŚenough of that, can we please just make our way to the dining hall now
*they all continue making their way down the hall*
poseidon: *notices a stain on the floor tiles not far in front of them*
poseidon: *points* i think your servants missed a spot
athena & odysseus: *both look to where heâs pointing*
athena: *chuckles to herself in knowing*
odysseus: *smirks*Â
poseidon: *sees both their expressions, and is confused*Â
odysseus: oh that..oh donât worry itâs clean
odysseus: *shrugs* itâs just so hard to get bloodstains out of white titles
poseidon: *wide eyed* blood?
odysseus: yeah.. not long after i finished with you, i arrived back on my island to find my palace overrun with 108âŚmutts⌠all vying for my wifeâs hand.Â
odysseus: *waving his hand like it was a simple issue* so i made sure to deal with them all myself⌠unfortunately one of them left a stain.
odysseus: -oh look weâve made it
odysseus: hope we havenât kept them too long
poseidon: *shocked at all the new odysseus lore heâs unlocked*
athena: *laughing at poseidonâs expression*
odysseus: *opening the door* come on letâs head in
poseidon: *shakes away the shock*
odysseus: *to poseidon* i guess itâs time to introduce you to my wife
*they all walk through the doorway into the dining hall*
*there penelope and telemachus both stand not too far from the dining table; which has quite the feast laid out, and from the steam coming off of it, it had not long be put there*
odysseus: *heads over to his son & wife*
odysseus: *looks at poseidon* poseidon, youâve met my son telemachus before.
telemachus: *can barely keep in his excitement*Â
telemachus: hi- i mean good evening lord poseidon, iâm so happ- grateful you accepted my father's invitation for dinner.Â
telemachus: *puts his arm on his chest, and leans forward in a bow of respect* i hope you enjoy the evening.
odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon, silently threatening him to not be rude to his son*
telemachus: *looks back up at poseidon, smile on his face*
poseidon: *quickly nods his head in greeting to telemachus* good evening prince, your father tells me that this was all your ideaÂ
telemachus: *raises a hand to nervously scratch under his chin* um⌠yes i guess it was
poseidon: well then, thank you for the idea to invite me.
telemachus: *hand leaves his chin and a big smile breaks out* well of course! you are my fatherâs friend after all!
poseidon: *eye twitches before he quickly composes himself*Â
poseidon: yes⌠friend.
odysseus: *coughs* yes and now that youâve both reacquainted yourselves again⌠telemachus why donât you go speak with athena for a moment
telemachus: sure!
*telemachus makes his way to athena, and they start talking amongst themselves*
odysseus: *puts his arm around penelopeâs waist* now, please let me introduce you to my wife; the queen of ithaca, penelope.Â
penelope: *doesnât bow like telemachus, but nods in greeting* welcome to our palace lord poseidon
poseidon: *nods back* thank you for having me queen penelope
penelope: *smiles but her eyes have a certain glint to them*Â
penelope: my husband has told me all about your part in his journey home to us
poseidon: *totally not panicking a little* uh-
penelope: *glint leaves her eyes, but her smile remains*
penelope: -and also how you have helped out on his and my sonâs fishing trips lately.
penelope: of course, i would also like thank you for taking the time to attend tonight
poseidon: sure⌠no problem?
odysseus: great, everyone has met everyone!Â
odysseus: *to everyone* now, shall we sit down and eat the lovely feast the cooks have made us, before it gets cold?
odysseus: *moves to pull out one of the chairs at the head of the table for penelope as he normally does, when he notices that, there is only one chair instead of two*
odysseus: *looks up at the table and sees a piece of parchment with âmotherâ written on it*Â
odysseus: huh?
telemachus: *makes his way over to his father* oh! thereâs a different than usual seating plan for tonight! iâve put everyone's names where they should sit.
odysseus: *smiles at telemachus* oh ok, sure!
odysseus: well, i guess i should look for mine then, hey?
telemachus: yes, and please everyone else too!
*everyone makes their way to the table to see where theyâre sitting (even though three of them already know)*
odysseus: *sees the parchment with âfatherâ on it*Â
odysseus: *expecting to have either athena or telemachus next to him*
odysseus: *watches as athena stands in front of the seat opposite him*
odysseus: *thinks itâs weird to put athena & poseidon together, but thinks telemachus has done is as they are uncle & niece*
odysseus: *then sees telemachus stood in front of the seat next to athena*
odysseus: wait-
poseidon: *sees his name and heads towards it, only to look up and see odysseus standing in front of the seat next to him*
poseidon: wait-
poseidon & odysseus: *both look at each other in horror that they're stuck next to each other all evening*
telemachus: *not noticing the looks of doom on their faces* isnât this great? itâs a family dinner, so what better than friends sitting together?Â
telemachus: *turning to penelope* sorry youâre by yourself at the head of the table though mother
penelope: *smiles and waves her hand* i donât mind
penelope: anyway, let's sit and eat!
*everyone but odysseus and poseidon sit down. both who have a death grip on the back of their seats*
penelope: *clears her throat* odysseus, lord poseidon⌠would you both please sit down.
odysseus: *snaps out of his staring at poseidon*Â
odysseus: uh sureâŚ
odysseus: *sits down and look back to poseidon, nodding his head at poseidonâs seat in the motion for him to also sit down*
poseidon: *still doesnât sit*
odysseus: *a millisecond of a flash of red eyes*Â
poseidon: *sits*
odysseus: *internally to himself* oh this is gonna be a long evening
odysseus: *to everyone* ok, everyone dig in!
odysseus: *to poseidon* can you get what you want for yourself, mighty sea god? or do you need a mortalâs help?
poseidon: *grabbing a lamb chop off a platter and tearing into it savagely in defiance*
odysseus: *rolls his eyes at poseidon, but goes to place a filet of fish on his plate*
*everyone has been eating and talking*
poseidon: *looks at penelope (who is talking to telemachus & athena) and then looks at odysseus*
poseidon: *thinking and then looks back to penelope*
odysseus: *to poseidon* is there a reason you keep looking at my wife?
poseidon: *jumps at little at being caught looking*Â
poseidon: *turns to odysseus* oh do not worry yourself, i have no interest in your wife
odysseus: *unimpressed* why do you keep looking at her then?
poseidon: im..curiousÂ
odysseus: *narrowing his eyes* about?
poseidon: normally you mortal men choose women younger than them for their wives⌠yet clearly your wife is; from my estimates⌠about a decade older than you
poseidon: *now with his hand under his chin, leaning on the table*Â
poseidon: do you perhapsâŚprefer older women odysseus?
odysseus: *hands tighten in grip around his cutlery*
poseidon: *notices odysseus hasnât responded yet*
poseidon: iâm right arenât -
odysseus: no.
odysseus: *his eyes may not be red, but are clearly full of anger*
poseidon: *eyes widen in worry* whoa whoa! no need to get angry, itâs just a simple observationâŚ. anyone if they pay attention can see the age difference
poseidon: *moves his hand to flick his hair back over his shoulder* itâs not a bad thing
odysseus: *takes a breath in to calm down and then slowly releases it*
odysseus: we are- were the same age⌠physically at least
poseidon: *confused* i donât follow
odysseus: *looks at poseidon* during the 10 years it took for me to get home⌠i found myself stuck on a goddessâ island for 7 of themâŚ
poseidon: okâŚ
odysseus: *closes his eyes* caly- the goddess had full control over everything on the island⌠her magic influenced everything⌠including a mortal's ability to age.
poseidon: so you didnât-
odysseus: -age? yeah
odysseus: *sighs and opens his eyes* when i realised i wasnât⌠i- i-Â
odysseus: lets just say i didnât handle it well
poseidon: *blinks at this new information* oh
odysseus: yep âohâ indeedâŚÂ
odysseus: *looks back at poseidon*
odysseus: didnât you think it was odd that i looked exactly the same when we met again, almost 10 years after our first meeting?
poseidon: in my defence⌠i was angry and trying to kill you, i wasnât really paying attention to how you looked
odysseus: *rolls his eyes* i guess that's true
telemachus: uh lord poseidon? may i ask you a question?
poseidon: *happy to not continue his conversation with odysseus*
poseidon: *to telemachus* ask away prince of ithaca
telemachus: is it true that you gave achilles his horses balius & xanthus?
poseidon: *amazed at telemachusâ knowledge*Â
poseidon: not directly⌠but yes i am the reason he came to acquire them. you see i gave them to his father peleus, as a wedding gift for his wife thetisâŚ
*poseidon continues to tell the tale, and odysseus speaks with athena and penelope while more time passes*
*the meal is continuing smoothly as can be*
poseidon: *notices that odysseus has only been eating the fish. not touching a single bit of pork, beef or lamb that's also on the table*Â
poseidon: *who has continuously eaten all meats available*
poseidon: *to odysseus* is there something i should know about the meat?
odysseus: huh?
poseidon: *points at the selection of meat in question* what's wrong with the meat? youâve only touched the fish.
poseidon: if i hadnât seen the others eat it, iâd worry youâd asked your cooks to poison it or something.Â
odysseus: *raised eyebrow* poison wonât hurt you though?Â
odysseus: *pointing a fork at him* also, why do you care about my eating habits?
poseidon: *frowning at the fork* i donât, iâm just-
odysseus: curious? poseidon, i thought you were the god of the sea, not curiosityâŚ
poseidon: *huffs* forget it-
odysseus: i canât
poseidon: *now his eyebrow is raised* youâŚcanât?
odysseus: *now using the fork to push the food on his plate around* i canât stomach eating lamb, pork or beef anymore
poseidon: *forever confused by odysseus* uh why?
odysseus: *gives poseidon a âdo i really have to explain everything?â look*
poseidon: *just stares*
odysseus: *once again sighing because of poseidon* well i thought youâd understand lamb⌠after the whole sheep incident with⌠your son.
odysseus: then after i escaped you with the wind bag-
poseidon: *rolls his eyes at the memory*
odysseus: we wound up on the sorceress circeâs island⌠where she turned my men to pigs.Â
odysseus: i managed to convince her to turn them back, but it now feels weird to eat pork
odysseus: as for beef, short story is my men ignored my warnings and killed the sacred cattle of the sun god⌠so yeah beef is a no go for me also.Â
poseidon: *wondering how one mortal managed to interact with so many gods on a journey to get home*
poseidon: *laughs at odysseus* and youâre letting that affect your eating habits? i expected you to be stronger than that odysseus
odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon* oh just like how you let my handling of your trident, affect you into doing as i say?
poseidon: *now glaring back*Â
poseidon: *turns away from odysseus* whatever, more meat for me
*dinner continues, with telemachus asking poseidon more questions. poseidon loving the interest in him and telelmachusâ knowledge, answers the all the questions with surprising enthusiasm*
*eventually what was once a giant feast of food has nearly been cleared from the table, thanks to having two gods eating most of it*
telemachus: have you enjoyed yourself so far lord poseidon?Â
telemachus: *smiling* itâs been really fascinating and fun to learn so much more about you
poseidon: *almost letting a small smile appear on his face in return*
poseidon: *instead just nods* yes, it certainly has been an interesting & knowledgeable evening
telemachus: what about the seating, was it a good idea to put you with my father?
poseidon: *wants to answer no, but feels a kick from under the table. clearly from odysseus*
poseidon: yes, you came up with an ok-
odysseus: *gives another kick*Â
poseidon: -great idea
telemachus: *laughs in happiness*Â
telemachus: oh but i canât take all the credit
odysseus: *raises an eyebrow in curiosity*Â
athena: *who is sipping wine next to him*
athena: *slightly chokes* wai-
odysseus: *suspicious* son, you must make sure to tell us who else to thank for this
telemachus: *not understanding the bombshell heâs about to drop* oh athena actually came up with the idea!
athena: *suddenly nervous with the two very intense stares directed at her*
athena: w-well it was just a suggestion reallyâŚ
telemachus: no âthena! remember you said as itâs a family dinner, friends should sit with friends!
odysseus: *to athena with the fakest smile* oh athena, how considerate!
penelope: *who has been quiet this whole exchange*
telemachus: *as if he hasnât already unknowingly thrown one person to the wolves* but i of course had to run it by mother first, as she was helping me with all the planning!
penelope: *eyes have totally not widened*
telemachus: she said it was a great idea!
odysseus: *now to penelope* oh my dear wife, a great idea eh?
poseidon: *just chugs back his cup of wine at the revelations*
*after a awkward moment (at least for 4 of them) they continue on finishing the meal*
*eventually the food is finished and the dinner has come to an end, everyone has moved away from the dinner table and are now sitting on cushion chairs or standing around them talking amongst themselves*
poseidon: *looking out the window seeing just how dark the night sky now is*Â
poseidon: well this has been a lovely evening, but it is getting late and i have been away from the sea for as long as i can.
poseidon: *turning to penelope and nodding his head in actual respect* queen penelope, thank you for your hosting
poseidon: *without nodding at them* athena, odysseus⌠good night.
*before poseidon can turn to bid telemachus good night, the prince runs out the room*
telemachus: *yelling before he leaves the room* please lord poseidon, wait a moment! i forgot something!
poseidon: *turns to look at odysseus in confusion*Â
odysseus: *just shrugs also confused*Â
poseidon: *turns back to the door, telemachus long gone* uh sure.
*not long later telemachus runs back into the room dishevelled but holding something in his hand*
telemachus: *walks up to poseidon*Â
telemachus: *bows and holds out something covered in a silk cloth to him*
poseidon: uh-
telemachus: itâs a gift! iâm not expecting anything in return, and iâm sure you have better things⌠but i saw it and thought youâd like it
poseidon: *blinks, but takes the gift from telemachusâ hands*
poseidon: *carefully unties the silk cloth*
poseidon: *breathes in sharply*
telemachus: *not sure if that's a good or bad reaction* uh if you donât like it that's fin-
poseidon: *holds his hand to stop telemachus*Â
poseidon: prince of ithac-
telemachus: telemachus- sorry for interrupting. please my lord, call me telemachus
poseidon: âŚtelemachus. thank you, this is a very thoughtful gift.Â
poseidon: i will cherish it.
penelope & odysseus: *curious over what's got the god of the seas âcherishingâ something*
athena: *small smile as she knows*
*penelope & odysseus move closer to poseidon who is still staring down at his gift. once close enough they can see in his hand is a a handcrafted glass/crystal hippocampus*
*poseidon ended up wrapping it back in the silk cloth, and placing it in his chiton. He then thanked telemachus again and bid him good night & farewell. odysseus offered to walk back to the cove with him, but poseidon waved him off and told him to stay with his family*
#poseidon: *returned home back to his palace*#poseidon: *once again looking at the gift this time with a small smile on his face*#amphitrite: *looking at poseidon* whatcha got there?#poseidon: *stuffs telemachusâ gift into his chiton* uh⌠uhâŚMOLY?!#amphitrite: *raised eyebrow* the king of ithaca⌠odysseus gave youâŚmoly?#poseidon: this isn't from odysse- *cough* i mean; no⌠he didn't#poseidon: it's from his son.#amphitrite: *now both eyebrows raised in disbelief* the prince gave you moly?#poseidon: *panicking as he's the god of the seas not of lies*#poseidon: well they're descended from hermes⌠he practically hands out this stuff as you knowâŚ#amphitrite: uh huh... what ever you say husband#okay headcanon 1 - calypso said 'under my spell we're stuck in paradise' & to me this made me think well if she controls everything#then surely a goddess' magic can have other consequences like stopping a mortal aging. or extremely slowly aging.#once poor odysseus realises he wasn't getting older but his son and wife would be...he broke fearing he'd outlive them#calypso obvs doesn't also want the love of her life getting old/dying on her too#also credit to @rin-solo for this head canon too!#headcanon 2 - it actually happened while i was eating a burger. i thought man i'd struggle to eat any meat after all what ody went through#and so thats how that came to be! i believe he will eat goat/rabbit/chicken etc. but fish is easier with y'know ithaca being a island#so telemachus' gift has been revealed! i thought a hippocampus would be better that just a sea creature or horse. why not both?#also there will be a part 9...ody's revenge/punishment for athena and penelope's seating plan#but i need a small break after this monstrosity#odysseus epic#poseidon epic#telemachus epic#penelope epic the musical#epic the musical#epic: the musical#friends in higher places au?#nonsense thoughts
176 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Sequestered cardinals spin the bottle truth or dare sleepover LETS GOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
#conclave 2024#conclave#cardinal benitez#cardinal Tremblay#cardinal tedesco#reposting because my wife (tumblr) betrayed me (didnt show this post in the tags) and I would love to know y'alls thoughts!!!#cardinal lawrence#cardinal adeyemi#cardinal bellini#omgggggg the shit and shenanigans these mfs could get up to?!??!?!?!#aldo would dare tedesco to give up his vape for the rest of the conclave and tedesco would just loseeeee it hahaha#of course there is a kiss dare at some point as these old men get progressively drunkk!!!!!#sabbadin confesses his love to bellini#bellini to thomas and thomas to vincent!!!!!#ahjajsbshsjsndjdkd#ALL THE SECRETS COME OUTTTT#+PEOPLE TOO!!!!!#Adeyemi dares Tremblay to not betray anyone for the rest of the conclave or some petty shit and tremblay is likee come awnnn mannn#they start arguing and eventually end up making outtt#bellini amd tedesco too?!?!??!#what if aldo takes a hit of the vape just to see what the fuss is all about gets addicted and lies to tedesco that he lost the vape đđđ
143 notes
¡
View notes
Text


I keep listening to the new ep before I leave for work so I always end up with quick sketches lol
#plus teen Sparrow and Rebecca bc I love them Iâm sorry#dungeons and daddies#dndads#dndads spoilers#sparrow oak garcia#mercedes oak garcia#willy stampler#rebecca oak swallows garcia#normal oak swallows garcia#lincoln li wilson#Iâll draw more for the ep later this is just what I have initially lol#âLark looks around for his brotherâ where IS he Anthony?? whereâs my wife??#my artwork
578 notes
¡
View notes
Text
blondie boutta pounce dot jpg
#fitzier#hodgving#Everybody give it up for the discovery of the first and possibly only Hodgson-Crozier parallel in the entire show!#They are nothing to each other but they both love a tgirl going through an identity crisis#with a beautiful tragically-cut-short character arc to match.#The Terror#george hodgson#George Henry Hodgson#Wait I lied they also both love (1) consuming things they're not supposed to#(2) telling weird childhood stories that make you cry somehow#and of course (3) casually calling hickey an idiot <3#Starky's Original Posts#these two screencaps are from the exact same HD video btw Hodgson is just relegated to blurry bg character in 90% of his scenes#AND MOST OF THE SCENES WHERE HE IS THE ACTUAL FOCUS ARE DARK AS SHIT SO YOU CAN'T SEE HIM ANYWAYS#BITING AND KILLING PEOPLE!!! SHOW ME MY WIFE DAMN YOU!!!
129 notes
¡
View notes
Text
you ever just write a short story about queer platonic Odydio where they were best friends for ten years but Diomedes began pulling away because life was way to hard and he was neglecting Odysseus in the process and Odysseus was trying and begging for him to connect but Diomedes was not paying attention at all, so Odysseus finally sends a text, âI canât waste my energy begging for a minute of your time, goodbyeâ and that really fucks Diomedes up and then six months later he finds out that Odysseus and Penelope got married and he didnât know which really REALLY fucks him up because he wanted to be there for them
inhaleeeee
so then six years later, Odysseus and Penelope are on a train ride, tour thing and a steward is like âhey this dude hates his room can he stay with you guysâ and it turns out that the guy is Diomedes and instead of being âmy best bitch how are youâ Odysseus decided to pretend that he doesnât exist. Like a bitch. Throughout the trip, Diomedes tries to crack Odysseus and make him acknowledge him but Odysseus is just like whoooooo? Then Diomedes corners Odysseus with a chess board and he canât resist. While they play, Diomedes is like âremember when we played chess the first time we metâ and Odysseus is like âdude I have no fucking idea who you areâŚ.unlessâ and then Odysseus breaks finally and is like âhi you little shit what do you wantâ and Diomedes is like idk, I love you, and Odysseus is like âwhat the hell is love supposed to do with anythingâ
they cry like a lot
insert Penelope
sheâs talking to Diomedes and is like âyou did hurt him. You both deserve healing and peace in lifeâ and Diomedes is crying âIâm so sorryaaauhhhhhhâ and Penelope tells him Odysseus and I have a kid and it really hurts when Odysseus talks about Diomedes to Telemachus and he canât put a face to the name so Penelope asks if he would like to meet him and Diomedes says of course. Soooooo they have dinner and Diomedes is a godfather now yay. Odysseus is like âfinally my son met him my conscience is easedâ but then Telemachus notices that Odysseus and Diomedes have tension and start spitting bars for a hot second, âstop being afraid, love each otherâ and they start working on the relationship. SLOWLY AGONIZINGLY SLOW
But they have a car ride and that is like the gate way to fixing all their problems. So they all grow together, Telemachus is married (idk to who) but he has a kid (idk what her name is) but it doesnât matter because Odysseus is dying
Damn.
so everyone is saying goodbyes and I love yous and all the good stuff and Penelope is like âgoodbye my love we will be ok, spend your last moments with your himboâ and he is like âsick, thatâs radâ so he and Diomedes have a final chess game and they just talk but they are also trying to draw the match out but unfortunately Odysseus is just that guy and before he wins he makes sure that Diomedes knows he forgives him and Diomedes weeps and gives him a hug and Odysseus dies
Odysseus dies in his arms and doesnât win the game
whoops so âŚ.
they have a funeral and after the funeral Diomedes is washing dishes when Telemachus gives him something and says itâs from dad and Diomedes opens the small box and itâs a chess piece.
#odysseus#diomedes#odydio#odydiopen#odypen#truthertalks#tagamemnon#diopen#telemachus#qpr Odydio#Also failed to mention Diomedes on the fly lied about his room#He found a steward with the weakest of all backbones to be his bitch#But Odysseus knew better#So he went sneaky-sneaky into Diomedes original room#And saw his room was completely fine#Odysseus: This bitch (twirls hair with evil in his heart)#When they crying after the chess game Odysseus takes a minute to say#Listen that was hot#that was fye#Pulled a me right there yes you did#Penelope is pushing and begging Odysseus to make up with his platonic wife for life#Penelope: Babe you have my heart#Penelope: but dear god fix it before I fix it and you know damn well I will fix it
99 notes
¡
View notes
Text
I genuinely cant sit through miscommunication plots or like. Stories where the character is so clearly laying lie on top of lie on top of lie in such a gritting-your-teeth-oh-no kinda way, like. Why is this enjoyable. Why is this funny? They are lying to everyones faces and its not even usually for a good reason its usually bc said character wanted to continue to look good or theyre trying to gain something or I DUNNO. SOMETHING SELFISH. Maybe if it was a DECENT reason like âoh im trying to protect someoneâ maybe ok start building the tower of lies i guess but NO its never even a good reason its always STUPID and USUALLY COULD BE FIXED IF YOU JUST STOPPED LYING BADLY
#i remember one time my friend put on a movie where it was this guy who kept lying to his wife about his job that he got fired from#and then he lied about being able to afford a trip to the bahamas or something to look good in front of her friends#and then he lied about the quality of the flight#and it kept going for like 30 mins of this guy just LYING and the wife just being mildly disappointed but going along#and i turned to my friend like: what is this even about#she was like: it gets good dont worry#it did not#it so did not
89 notes
¡
View notes
Text

never again?
#i miss my wife tails (my video game spouse i lived an entire alternate lifetime w)#it FASCINATES me that lincolns speedrun sim lore is still relevant#he still feels like its real?? hes legit mourning it???#thats traumatizing bro#unhappy pride month love isnt real#lincoln li wilson#lincoln li wilson fanart#dungeons and daddies#dndads#dndads fanart#dndads spoilers#dndads s2 spoilers#my art
483 notes
¡
View notes
Note
hiii ^_^!!! I hope ur having a wonderful day. Rlly love ur iso hcs (iâm srry iâm saying it again but their so good đ.)
I was wondering could you do a pt.2 of the relationship hcs? Like how Iso would act once the relationship has rlly set in and heâs completely comfortable with us?

thank you!
Ahhh!!! I'm so happy you love ny hcs!!!đđđŤśđŤś PLEASE DONT APOLOGIZE IM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL THAT PPL LIKE MY STUFF LOL
I hope that this is to your liking!!<33
Relationship 2.0; Iso x GN!Reader
Im ngl yall, I'm the thpe of person to write a 100k slowburn romance buildup but when it comes to actually writing the relationship itself... mind is wont to blank...
Your relationship is hidden from the others. Even with the no frat rule being tsken out of procotol policy, Iso is keen about keeping your relationship private. The only one that knows are Sage and whoever you're close/best friends with.
Don't get me wrong, he's not ashamed of you or your relationship or anything like that. Behind closed doors, Iso is the best boyfriend you could ever ask for. I mentioned it in the last post, but he's really just a big softie.
Iso turns in for the night at a designated time without fail, but you know that he doesn't actually sleep. You'll make up some excuse to the others to check up on him in his room.
Some nights, he'll let you in and you both talk about your day and it's relatively peaceful, some nights, he wont even let you knock, using his sixth sense to sense if your near his door and instantly pull you in without a word, holding you close to him and burying his face in your neck. That's his way of saying that he missed you very muchđ
Very cuddly, he likes having the reassurance that you're alive and breathing by keeping you close to him.
He calls you by your name, and he'll ask you to do the same. Sure, he likes his new name "Iso", but Zhao Yu much rather preferred the intimate connection to you have when you call each other by gov names which was something he didn't get often. Names are a not so fun thing for him. (He's a lil traumatized, but that's for another postđ¤)
When it gets cold, Iso also runs cold. If you run warm, you can put your hands on his face and he'll lean into the touch or you can grab his hands and just hold them. It's enough for him. If you run cold, it's the only time he's fine with PDA, aka snuggling on the couch.... joined by the other agents.
When it comes to jealousy, ik I mentioned it in the other post too, but he has another reaction. If Iso see's you with another agent that's flirting with you, he'll come up and offer you to listen to music with him. As you listen and are distracted, he stares at the other agent with his 'assassin' glare per se.
One day at a sleep over with the other agents, you guys play a classic game of truth or dare. It's your turn, you say truth. Jett goes in for the classic "Do you have a crush on anyone here?" And you deny it. You can feel someone staring at you, and once the others are distracted, you turn to Iso who has subtle smirk on his face, nodding his head back to signal that he wants you guys to leave. You playfully roll your eyes.
#valorant iso#iso valorant#li zhao yu#valorant#valorant iso x reader#i love iso#iso#iso x reader#hes my wife#i love my wife#iso x reader hcs
212 notes
¡
View notes
Text
morning toddheads
#look he did have fun#he liked it#*walter white voice* he liked it. he was good at it#you know what i do think he loved her a little bit too#final scene is so sad#everything faaaaalllllsss apaaaart#i guess when i say i don't think sweenett is love#i do think they love each other in their ways#but the lie about lucy is so enormous#so central#to have lucy still alive and badly needing help#and have nellie continuously hide that from a man who is GRIEVING HIS WIFE#and trying to avenge her#it bothers me a lot#so i think the betrayal at her lying to him is multifold#it's not just you LIED to me#it's YOU lied to me#i thought you were on my side#all our confidences and tender moments had this lie beneath it#who are you#even#idk. i'm writing my fanfic and im in my feelings#their relatinoship is so complicated#what is love anyway#WHAT IS IS LOVE#baby don't throw me in the oven#in the oven#anymore#text post meme#sweenett
87 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Intrigued by the takes where people believe that rook and solas have actual chemistry that isnât solas just dangling a lure that rook smacks at like a cat without fail. They have anti chemistry to the point it becomes chemistry. If you ship them you have to make the mutual and/or one-sided hatred pop. âOh rook gets to see the actual solas thatâs why they have chemistryâ he is LYING to them!! He is putting on a face and mannerism that are all lies so that he can manipulate them to do his bidding! That should be the sexiness, the loathing and his naughty little lies
#when he lied to his beautiful wife it was while âhem heeem whimperâing all over the place#the lies with rook are him barely holding back how much he wishes he could slam the door on their fingers#like he hates them so much except for maybe like 2 endings LMAO#and even then itâs âdarn ya bested meâ and âthanks for giving me the chance to bone my wife again sayonara IDIOTâ#like I feel like he respects them obviously but he also respected sera and they tormented each other#only thereâs no comraderie there he just thinks rook should trip and die when he doesnât need them#in fact he yearns to be the one who feels bad for tripping them#prawn posts
19 notes
¡
View notes
Text





doodles from my tokyo trip
#tsubasa reservoir chronicle#princess sakura#syaoran li#fai d flourite#no kuro because i am a FAILURE but he is my wife.
35 notes
¡
View notes
Text
mmmmrrrpppphhhh................. Molly-Beth......... grrrrrrrrrrrr.............. O'Shadie..................... mmmmmmmmmmmmm............ O'Shones................ raaaaaaaaaahhhh....... Sapphic Molly..........
#guys karen is literally dating mary-beth and mary-beth is dating molly and molly is also dating karen#lowkey fw charles and molly too that one fic on here is STRONG propaganda for them i fear#like i used to fw them as friends cuz charles and molly are my favs so OBVI charles's âI didnt know her that wellâ was WRONG cuz they're li#terally besties trust#morshea is okay......... ig.....#idk kieran and mollys ship name but i have seen them around and to me i def see them as friends more than lovers#i just think molly deserves someone who will actually love herđŁ#i loveeeee being a multishipper#Molly O'Shea#Molly OâShea#Mary-Beth Gaskill#Mary Beth Gaskill#Sadie Adler#Karen Jones#MollyBeth#O'Shadie#O'Shones#uhhh idk marybeths and karens ship name....#KarenBeth#shoulda known </3#uh uh#O'Gasones#sure!#would add the âxâ tags but i dont have enough tag room for them all#âB-B-B-But they're all straight and have boyfrien-â I DONT CAAREEEEEEEEE LET ME HAVE FUUUNNNNN LET ME LET MOLYL HAVE A HAPPY ENDINGGGGGG#LET THE GIRLS HAVE A HAPPY ENDING PLEASSEEEEEEEEE IM BEGGING YUOI ELAVE ME A ALONE IF YOU DONT LIKE DONT INTERACTTTTTT#ugh ykw in my mollybeth beauty and the beast au gaston is no longer dutch hes karen and hes no longer a BITCH and instead of dying at the e#nd molly and karen start passionately making out and marybeth is like âykw hell yeahâ and joins them and they live happily ever after#is that one meme âme my wife and her 7 foot tall snobby wannabe princess turned beast by a random witch like 10 years agoâ#FUCK YEAH LESBIANISMđŁď¸đŁď¸đŁď¸đŁď¸â¤ď¸đŠˇđ¤đ§Ąâď¸âď¸âď¸âď¸đĽđĽđĽđĽ
12 notes
¡
View notes