#i lied hes my wife
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megah3rz · 1 year ago
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congratulations to Asagiri Gen for winning the Dead Wife Award while being neither a wife or dead
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silentheiss · 18 days ago
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AU, where Luo Binghe meets Shen Yuan under different circumstances. Precisely, when one of his wives comes to him to ask for divorce.
Because she’s kind of in love with Shen Yuan, as it happens.
It goes like this:
Shen Yuan is having a great time being a transmigrator. He had quite a safe landing with being an NPC who’s never been mentioned in the book, so he’s not about to be killed by Luo Binghe anytime soon, and he’s doing great avoiding him.
Until he meets Ban Li. She’s so pretty and feisty she bound to become Luo Binghe’s wife one day, and Shen Yuan doesn’t want to be seen next to her when it happens. He’s not a suicidal idiot, despite what Ban Li says the first time they meet.
“-an utter degenerate! To face a Venomous Flying Spider in your own! What the hell were you thinking?” She yells, after cutting two back legs of the spider in one sharp swing of her sword, rendering beast to a withering, scaly pile. “At least you had a presence of mind to cut the wings first! Idiot!”
Who gives compliments like that? Shen Yuan sighs and positions himself more comfortably on the ground.
“As this one already said, everything was under control.”
“Ha!” Ban Li barks out, her eyes glowing green. Ah, must be a demoness, then. “Under what control? Be thankful for this one’s grace or your legs will be cut off!”
Shen Yuan laughs and offers Ban Li some sweets he always carries in his pouch. Things go smoothly after that — Ban Li accompanies him for next week, claiming she has a task of exterminating beasts in the area.
“Husband will want a report soon, but this one has time to spare.” Ban Li mentions one day.
“Ban Li is married?” Shen Yuan freezes. “Isn’t it inappropriate to- I mean for us, to. Uh.”
“This one was unaware Shen Yuan was courting.” Ban Li giggles, twirling a lock of her hair around her thin finger.
“I’m not!”
Ban Li laughs and leans closer to Shen Yuan, eyes glimmering.
“If you were,” She says, low and intimate. “I would agree. I would leave my absent husband and runaway with you.”
Ah. Now Shen Yuan sees how it is. Ban Li is not infatuated with him. She’s just-
“Ban Li, are you unhappy in your marriage?” He asks, heart breaking for this feisty, sweet demoness.
“Will Shen Yuan make it better?” Ban Li asks pitifully. Shen Yuan nods.
He will talk to that good-for-nothing husband of her and make him let Ban Li go. She’s promised to Luo Binghe, anyway, for plot purposes. He’ll just help smooth the process.
Several days later Ban Li takes Shen Yuan to a camp. It’s big, obviously expensive, and Ban Li looks almost shaky as they near the biggest, most impressive tent.
“Ban Li’s husband is… powerful.” Shen Yuan notes.
“He is.” Ban Li nods. “But this one doesn’t need his power.”
“Of course you don’t.” Shen Yuan nods. “We’ll make him see sense.”
Ban Li smiles at him, teeth sharp and eyes sharper.
“Shen Yuan is confident even in the face of the Emperor.”
Shen Yuan freezes.
“Ban Li.” He says, very quietly and very slowly. “Are you married to Luo Binghe?”
“Not for long!” Ban Li answers brightly.
Oh shit. Oh fuck.
“Ban Li.” Shen Yuan groans. “What the hell? Why on earth would you want to divorce Luo Binghe?”
“To stay at Shen Yuan’s side.” Ban Li says.
“Have you gone mad?” Shen Yuan demands. “Are you completely, utterly crazy? Who in their right mind would want to leave Luo Binghe to stay with me?!”
“Shen Yuan!” Ban Li whines. “You promised!”
“I didn’t know you were going to divorce the best person in the whole universe!”
Ban Li gasps at him.
“Do you want to marry Lord Luo?”
“No!” Shen Yuan says. “I’m a man, Ban Li.”
“So what?”
Shen Yuan feels like he’s going grey from the sheer ridiculousness of the situation.
“Ban Li, we’re losing a thread of the conversations here.” He says. “You cannot divorce Luo Binghe.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s stupid! Have you seen him? He’s the smartest, strongest, bravest man ever. He’s extremely good looking. He’s lived through hell and persisted. He’s amazing, Ban Li! You can’t leave him to stay with me, are you kidding? I thought you were smart!”
Ban Li pouts at him, folding her arms like a petulant child.
“If Shen Yuan is in love with Lord Husband-”
“I’m not!”
“No? Then why are you praising him so?”
“Because I have common sense?”
“I don’t want to get back to harem while Shen Yuan is risking his life fighting dangerous beasts!”
“Ban Li, I’m begging you.” Shen Yuan says. “You will regret your decision.”
“I will regret not seeing Shen Yuan anymore.”
“Nonsense!”
“I will run away.”
“Ban Li.”
“Try me. I will.”
Shen Yuan sighs, hiding his face in his hands. He’s so going to die today.
“Do you suppose your Lord Husband might need a librarian?”
Ban Li squeals and drags Shen Yuan into the tent.
Luo Binghe, who’s been silently listening to the whole conversation, hires him immediately. He doesn’t claim to know Ban Li well, but they definitely agree on one thing: Shen Yuan mustn’t ever leave.
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sneakingpasta · 3 months ago
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11 NEW DANMEI LICENSES AND A FINALE!!!! WE FEAST IN 2025
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o3o-lapd-o3o · 1 month ago
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DINNER IS (finally) SERVED
3000ish words later and part 8 is here! hope you guys enjoy!
(p.s my headcanons explainations are in the tags if you're curious)
(p.p.s credit also goes to @rin-solo for the first headcanon )
the post/thread that started this whole au
dinner scene: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7
there's a masterlist now!
*odysseus is making his way to the dining hall, while athena and poseidon are following behind*
poseidon: *looking around at the decorations/tapestry dotted around*
poseidon: *see’s a tapestry of what looks to be a very much younger odysseus in full king & armour attire*
poseidon: *stops walking, and turns to look at the actual odysseus in front of him, then back at the tapestry*
poseidon: *to odysseus with a sardonic tone* do your weavers like making you look like a boy, or was that a decision you made to make yourself look younger?
odysseus: *pauses his walking to see what poseidon is talking about*
athena: *also pauses and turns to poseidon*
odysseus: *sees the tapestry in question*
odysseus: *sighs* of course you point that one out 
athena: *who knew odysseus before he was king*
athena: *glaring at poseidon* uncle, you shouldn’t make assumptions, especially when you don’t know the facts
odysseus: *pats athena on the shoulder as he passes her*
odysseus: it’s fine athena
odysseus: *next to poseidon and looking up at the tapestry* if you must know, that is actually the age i was. 
poseidon: *not believing him* yeah right, you couldn’t be older than fifteen in this
odysseus: *turns to him with a sharp look* you’re correct, i was fifteen
poseidon: *slightly wary of odysseus’ mood* so… you became king at fifteen? isn’t that a little bit young for a mortal to rule a kingdom?
odysseus: *turns back to the tapestry* i was already the king, i was actually crowned when i was thirteen
poseidon: *shocked and confused* why would a child be given a kingdom to run?
odysseus: *looks down with a sad smile, at the memory of his father telling him about him losing his mind, and how sorry he was to place such a huge responsibility on his young son’s shoulders*
odysseus: well, i had no choice, but i would do it again if i had to… 
odysseus: *turns to athena* besides, i had athena to help guide me
athena: *smiles with a nod at odysseus*
odysseus: *starts walking in the direction of the dining hall again* anyway…enough of that, can we please just make our way to the dining hall now
*they all continue making their way down the hall*
poseidon: *notices a stain on the floor tiles not far in front of them*
poseidon: *points* i think your servants missed a spot
athena & odysseus: *both look to where he’s pointing*
athena: *chuckles to herself in knowing*
odysseus: *smirks* 
poseidon: *sees both their expressions, and is confused* 
odysseus: oh that..oh don’t worry it’s clean
odysseus: *shrugs* it’s just so hard to get bloodstains out of white titles
poseidon: *wide eyed* blood?
odysseus: yeah.. not long after i finished with you, i arrived back on my island to find my palace overrun with 108…mutts… all vying for my wife’s hand. 
odysseus: *waving his hand like it was a simple issue* so i made sure to deal with them all myself… unfortunately one of them left a stain.
odysseus: -oh look we’ve made it
odysseus: hope we haven’t kept them too long
poseidon: *shocked at all the new odysseus lore he’s unlocked*
athena: *laughing at poseidon’s expression*
odysseus: *opening the door* come on let’s head in
poseidon: *shakes away the shock*
odysseus: *to poseidon* i guess it’s time to introduce you to my wife
*they all walk through the doorway into the dining hall*
*there penelope and telemachus both stand not too far from the dining table; which has quite the feast laid out, and from the steam coming off of it, it had not long be put there*
odysseus: *heads over to his son & wife*
odysseus: *looks at poseidon* poseidon, you’ve met my son telemachus before.
telemachus: *can barely keep in his excitement* 
telemachus: hi- i mean good evening lord poseidon, i’m so happ- grateful you accepted my father's invitation for dinner. 
telemachus: *puts his arm on his chest, and leans forward in a  bow of respect* i hope you enjoy the evening.
odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon, silently threatening him to not be rude to his son*
telemachus: *looks back up at poseidon, smile on his face*
poseidon: *quickly nods his head in greeting to telemachus* good evening prince, your father tells me that this was all your idea 
telemachus: *raises a hand to nervously scratch under his chin* um… yes i guess it was
poseidon: well then, thank you for the idea to invite me.
telemachus: *hand leaves his chin and a big smile breaks out* well of course! you are my father’s friend after all!
poseidon: *eye twitches before he quickly composes himself* 
poseidon: yes… friend.
odysseus: *coughs* yes and now that you’ve both reacquainted yourselves again… telemachus why don’t you go speak with athena for a moment
telemachus: sure!
*telemachus makes his way to athena, and they start talking amongst themselves*
odysseus: *puts his arm around penelope’s waist* now, please let me introduce you to my wife; the queen of ithaca, penelope. 
penelope: *doesn’t bow like telemachus, but nods in greeting* welcome to our palace lord poseidon
poseidon: *nods back* thank you for having me queen penelope
penelope: *smiles but her eyes have a certain glint to them* 
penelope: my husband has told me all about your part in his journey home to us
poseidon: *totally not panicking a little* uh-
penelope: *glint leaves her eyes, but her smile remains*
penelope: -and also how you have helped out on his and my son’s fishing trips lately.
penelope: of course, i would also like thank you for taking the time to attend tonight
poseidon: sure… no problem?
odysseus: great, everyone has met everyone! 
odysseus: *to everyone* now, shall we sit down and eat the lovely feast the cooks have made us, before it gets cold?
odysseus: *moves to pull out one of the chairs at the head of the table for penelope as he normally does, when he notices that, there is only one chair instead of two*
odysseus: *looks up at the table and sees a piece of parchment with ‘mother’ written on it* 
odysseus: huh?
telemachus: *makes his way over to his father* oh! there’s a different than usual seating plan for tonight! i’ve put everyone's names where they should sit.
odysseus: *smiles at telemachus* oh ok, sure!
odysseus: well, i guess i should look for mine then, hey?
telemachus: yes, and please everyone else too!
*everyone makes their way to the table to see where they’re sitting (even though three of them already know)*
odysseus: *sees the parchment with ‘father’ on it* 
odysseus: *expecting to have either athena or telemachus next to him*
odysseus: *watches as athena stands in front of the seat opposite him*
odysseus: *thinks it’s weird to put athena & poseidon together, but thinks telemachus has done is as they are uncle & niece*
odysseus: *then sees telemachus stood in front of the seat next to athena*
odysseus: wait-
poseidon: *sees his name and heads towards it, only to look up and see odysseus standing in front of the seat next to him*
poseidon: wait-
poseidon & odysseus: *both look at each other in horror that they're stuck next to each other all evening*
telemachus: *not noticing the looks of doom on their faces* isn’t this great? it’s a family dinner, so what better than friends sitting together? 
telemachus: *turning to penelope* sorry you’re by yourself at the head of the table though mother
penelope: *smiles and waves her hand* i don’t mind
penelope: anyway, let's sit and eat!
*everyone but odysseus and poseidon sit down. both who have a death grip on the back of their seats*
penelope: *clears her throat* odysseus, lord poseidon… would you both please sit down.
odysseus: *snaps out of his staring at poseidon* 
odysseus: uh sure…
odysseus: *sits down and look back to poseidon, nodding his head at poseidon’s seat in the motion for him to also sit down*
poseidon: *still doesn’t sit*
odysseus: *a millisecond of a flash of red eyes* 
poseidon: *sits*
odysseus: *internally to himself* oh this is gonna be a long evening
odysseus: *to everyone* ok, everyone dig in!
odysseus: *to poseidon* can you get what you want for yourself, mighty sea god? or do you need a mortal’s help?
poseidon: *grabbing a lamb chop off a platter and tearing into it savagely in defiance*
odysseus: *rolls his eyes at poseidon, but goes to place a filet of fish on his plate*
*everyone has been eating and talking*
poseidon: *looks at penelope (who is talking to telemachus & athena) and then looks at odysseus*
poseidon: *thinking and then looks back to penelope*
odysseus: *to poseidon* is there a reason you keep looking at my wife?
poseidon: *jumps at little at being caught looking* 
poseidon: *turns to odysseus* oh do not worry yourself, i have no interest in your wife
odysseus: *unimpressed* why do you keep looking at her then?
poseidon: im..curious 
odysseus: *narrowing his eyes* about?
poseidon: normally you mortal men choose women younger than them for their wives… yet clearly your wife is; from my estimates… about a decade older than you
poseidon: *now with his hand under his chin, leaning on the table* 
poseidon: do you perhaps…prefer older women odysseus?
odysseus: *hands tighten in grip around his cutlery*
poseidon: *notices odysseus hasn’t responded yet*
poseidon: i’m right aren’t -
odysseus: no.
odysseus: *his eyes may not be red, but are clearly full of anger*
poseidon: *eyes widen in worry* whoa whoa! no need to get angry, it’s just a simple observation…. anyone if they pay attention can see the age difference
poseidon: *moves his hand to flick his hair back over his shoulder* it’s not a bad thing
odysseus: *takes a breath in to calm down and then slowly releases it*
odysseus: we are- were the same age… physically at least
poseidon: *confused* i don’t follow
odysseus: *looks at poseidon* during the 10 years it took for me to get home… i found myself stuck on a goddess’ island for 7 of them…
poseidon: ok…
odysseus: *closes his eyes* caly- the goddess had full control over everything on the island… her magic influenced everything… including a mortal's ability to age.
poseidon: so you didn’t-
odysseus: -age? yeah
odysseus: *sighs and opens his eyes* when i realised i wasn’t… i- i- 
odysseus: lets just say i didn’t handle it well
poseidon: *blinks at this new information* oh
odysseus: yep ‘oh’ indeed… 
odysseus: *looks back at poseidon*
odysseus: didn’t you think it was odd that i looked exactly the same when we met again, almost 10 years after our first meeting?
poseidon: in my defence… i was angry and trying to kill you, i wasn’t really paying attention to how you looked
odysseus: *rolls his eyes* i guess that's true
telemachus: uh lord poseidon? may i ask you a question?
poseidon: *happy to not continue his conversation with odysseus*
poseidon: *to telemachus* ask away prince of ithaca
telemachus: is it true that you gave achilles his horses balius & xanthus?
poseidon: *amazed at telemachus’ knowledge* 
poseidon: not directly… but yes i am the reason he came to acquire them. you see i gave them to his father peleus, as a wedding gift for his wife thetis…
*poseidon continues to tell the tale, and odysseus speaks with athena and penelope while more time passes*
*the meal is continuing smoothly as can be*
poseidon: *notices that odysseus has only been eating the fish. not touching a single bit of pork, beef or lamb that's also on the table* 
poseidon: *who has continuously eaten all meats available*
poseidon: *to odysseus* is there something i should know about the meat?
odysseus: huh?
poseidon: *points at the selection of meat in question* what's wrong with the meat? you’ve only touched the fish.
poseidon: if i hadn’t seen the others eat it, i’d worry you’d asked your cooks to poison it or something. 
odysseus: *raised eyebrow* poison won’t hurt you though? 
odysseus: *pointing a fork at him* also, why do you care about my eating habits?
poseidon: *frowning at the fork* i don’t, i’m just-
odysseus: curious? poseidon, i thought you were the god of the sea, not curiosity…
poseidon: *huffs* forget it-
odysseus: i can’t
poseidon: *now his eyebrow is raised* you…can’t?
odysseus: *now using the fork to push the food on his plate around* i can’t stomach eating lamb, pork or beef anymore
poseidon: *forever confused by odysseus* uh why?
odysseus: *gives poseidon a ‘do i really have to explain everything?’ look*
poseidon: *just stares*
odysseus: *once again sighing because of poseidon* well i thought you’d understand lamb… after the whole sheep incident with… your son.
odysseus: then after i escaped you with the wind bag-
poseidon: *rolls his eyes at the memory*
odysseus: we wound up on the sorceress circe’s island… where she turned my men to pigs. 
odysseus: i managed to convince her to turn them back, but it now feels weird to eat pork
odysseus: as for beef, short story is my men ignored my warnings and killed the sacred cattle of the sun god… so yeah beef is a no go for me also. 
poseidon: *wondering how one mortal managed to interact with so many gods on a journey to get home*
poseidon: *laughs at odysseus* and you’re letting that affect your eating habits? i expected you to be stronger than that odysseus
odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon* oh just like how you let my handling of your trident, affect you into doing as i say?
poseidon: *now glaring back* 
poseidon: *turns away from odysseus* whatever, more meat for me
*dinner continues, with telemachus asking poseidon more questions. poseidon loving the interest in him and telelmachus’ knowledge, answers the all the questions with surprising enthusiasm*
*eventually what was once a giant feast of food has nearly been cleared from the table, thanks to having two gods eating most of it*
telemachus: have you enjoyed yourself so far lord poseidon? 
telemachus: *smiling* it’s been really fascinating and fun to learn so much more about you
poseidon: *almost letting a small smile appear on his face in return*
poseidon: *instead just nods* yes, it certainly has been an interesting & knowledgeable evening
telemachus: what about the seating, was it a good idea to put you with my father?
poseidon: *wants to answer no, but feels a kick from under the table. clearly from odysseus*
poseidon: yes, you came up with an ok-
odysseus: *gives another kick* 
poseidon: -great idea
telemachus: *laughs in happiness* 
telemachus: oh but i can’t take all the credit
odysseus: *raises an eyebrow in curiosity* 
athena: *who is sipping wine next to him*
athena: *slightly chokes* wai-
odysseus: *suspicious* son, you must make sure to tell us who else to thank for this
telemachus: *not understanding the bombshell he’s about to drop* oh athena actually came up with the idea!
athena: *suddenly nervous with the two very intense stares directed at her*
athena: w-well it was just a suggestion really…
telemachus: no ‘thena! remember you said as it’s a family dinner, friends should sit with friends!
odysseus: *to athena with the fakest smile* oh athena, how considerate!
penelope: *who has been quiet this whole exchange*
telemachus: *as if he hasn’t already unknowingly thrown one person to the wolves* but i of course had to run it by mother first, as she was helping me with all the planning!
penelope: *eyes have totally not widened*
telemachus: she said it was a great idea!
odysseus: *now to penelope* oh my dear wife, a great idea eh?
poseidon: *just chugs back his cup of wine at the revelations*
*after a awkward moment (at least for 4 of them) they continue on finishing the meal*
*eventually the food is finished and the dinner has come to an end, everyone has moved away from the dinner table and are now sitting on cushion chairs or standing around them talking amongst themselves*
poseidon: *looking out the window seeing just how dark the night sky now is* 
poseidon: well this has been a lovely evening, but it is getting late and i have been away from the sea for as long as i can.
poseidon: *turning to penelope and nodding his head in actual respect* queen penelope, thank you for your hosting
poseidon: *without nodding at them* athena, odysseus… good night.
*before poseidon can turn to bid telemachus good night, the prince runs out the room*
telemachus: *yelling before he leaves the room* please lord poseidon, wait a moment! i forgot something!
poseidon: *turns to look at odysseus in confusion* 
odysseus: *just shrugs also confused* 
poseidon: *turns back to the door, telemachus long gone* uh sure.
*not long later telemachus runs back into the room dishevelled but holding something in his hand*
telemachus: *walks up to poseidon* 
telemachus: *bows and holds out something covered in a silk cloth to him*
poseidon: uh-
telemachus: it’s a gift! i’m not expecting anything in return, and i’m sure you have better things… but i saw it and thought you’d like it
poseidon: *blinks, but takes the gift from telemachus’ hands*
poseidon: *carefully unties the silk cloth*
poseidon: *breathes in sharply*
telemachus: *not sure if that's a good or bad reaction* uh if you don’t like it that's fin-
poseidon: *holds his hand to stop telemachus* 
poseidon: prince of ithac-
telemachus: telemachus- sorry for interrupting. please my lord, call me telemachus
poseidon: …telemachus. thank you, this is a very thoughtful gift. 
poseidon: i will cherish it.
penelope & odysseus: *curious over what's got the god of the seas ‘cherishing’ something*
athena: *small smile as she knows*
*penelope & odysseus move closer to poseidon who is still staring down at his gift. once close enough they can see in his hand is a a handcrafted glass/crystal hippocampus*
*poseidon ended up wrapping it back in the silk cloth, and placing it in his chiton. He then thanked telemachus again and bid him good night & farewell. odysseus offered to walk back to the cove with him, but poseidon waved him off and told him to stay with his family*
#poseidon: *returned home back to his palace*#poseidon: *once again looking at the gift this time with a small smile on his face*#amphitrite: *looking at poseidon* whatcha got there?#poseidon: *stuffs telemachus’ gift into his chiton* uh… uh…MOLY?!#amphitrite: *raised eyebrow* the king of ithaca… odysseus gave you…moly?#poseidon: this isn't from odysse- *cough* i mean; no… he didn't#poseidon: it's from his son.#amphitrite: *now both eyebrows raised in disbelief* the prince gave you moly?#poseidon: *panicking as he's the god of the seas not of lies*#poseidon: well they're descended from hermes… he practically hands out this stuff as you know…#amphitrite: uh huh... what ever you say husband#okay headcanon 1 - calypso said 'under my spell we're stuck in paradise' & to me this made me think well if she controls everything#then surely a goddess' magic can have other consequences like stopping a mortal aging. or extremely slowly aging.#once poor odysseus realises he wasn't getting older but his son and wife would be...he broke fearing he'd outlive them#calypso obvs doesn't also want the love of her life getting old/dying on her too#also credit to @rin-solo for this head canon too!#headcanon 2 - it actually happened while i was eating a burger. i thought man i'd struggle to eat any meat after all what ody went through#and so thats how that came to be! i believe he will eat goat/rabbit/chicken etc. but fish is easier with y'know ithaca being a island#so telemachus' gift has been revealed! i thought a hippocampus would be better that just a sea creature or horse. why not both?#also there will be a part 9...ody's revenge/punishment for athena and penelope's seating plan#but i need a small break after this monstrosity#odysseus epic#poseidon epic#telemachus epic#penelope epic the musical#epic the musical#epic: the musical#friends in higher places au?#nonsense thoughts
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macksartblock · 1 year ago
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I keep listening to the new ep before I leave for work so I always end up with quick sketches lol
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sircantus · 2 months ago
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I genuinely cant sit through miscommunication plots or like. Stories where the character is so clearly laying lie on top of lie on top of lie in such a gritting-your-teeth-oh-no kinda way, like. Why is this enjoyable. Why is this funny? They are lying to everyones faces and its not even usually for a good reason its usually bc said character wanted to continue to look good or theyre trying to gain something or I DUNNO. SOMETHING SELFISH. Maybe if it was a DECENT reason like “oh im trying to protect someone” maybe ok start building the tower of lies i guess but NO its never even a good reason its always STUPID and USUALLY COULD BE FIXED IF YOU JUST STOPPED LYING BADLY
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you ever just write a short story about queer platonic Odydio where they were best friends for ten years but Diomedes began pulling away because life was way to hard and he was neglecting Odysseus in the process and Odysseus was trying and begging for him to connect but Diomedes was not paying attention at all, so Odysseus finally sends a text, “I can’t waste my energy begging for a minute of your time, goodbye” and that really fucks Diomedes up and then six months later he finds out that Odysseus and Penelope got married and he didn’t know which really REALLY fucks him up because he wanted to be there for them
inhaleeeee
so then six years later, Odysseus and Penelope are on a train ride, tour thing and a steward is like “hey this dude hates his room can he stay with you guys” and it turns out that the guy is Diomedes and instead of being “my best bitch how are you” Odysseus decided to pretend that he doesn’t exist. Like a bitch. Throughout the trip, Diomedes tries to crack Odysseus and make him acknowledge him but Odysseus is just like whoooooo? Then Diomedes corners Odysseus with a chess board and he can’t resist. While they play, Diomedes is like “remember when we played chess the first time we met” and Odysseus is like “dude I have no fucking idea who you are….unless” and then Odysseus breaks finally and is like “hi you little shit what do you want” and Diomedes is like idk, I love you, and Odysseus is like “what the hell is love supposed to do with anything”
they cry like a lot
insert Penelope
she’s talking to Diomedes and is like “you did hurt him. You both deserve healing and peace in life” and Diomedes is crying “I’m so sorryaaauhhhhhh” and Penelope tells him Odysseus and I have a kid and it really hurts when Odysseus talks about Diomedes to Telemachus and he can’t put a face to the name so Penelope asks if he would like to meet him and Diomedes says of course. Soooooo they have dinner and Diomedes is a godfather now yay. Odysseus is like “finally my son met him my conscience is eased” but then Telemachus notices that Odysseus and Diomedes have tension and start spitting bars for a hot second, “stop being afraid, love each other” and they start working on the relationship. SLOWLY AGONIZINGLY SLOW
But they have a car ride and that is like the gate way to fixing all their problems. So they all grow together, Telemachus is married (idk to who) but he has a kid (idk what her name is) but it doesn’t matter because Odysseus is dying
Damn.
so everyone is saying goodbyes and I love yous and all the good stuff and Penelope is like “goodbye my love we will be ok, spend your last moments with your himbo” and he is like “sick, that’s rad” so he and Diomedes have a final chess game and they just talk but they are also trying to draw the match out but unfortunately Odysseus is just that guy and before he wins he makes sure that Diomedes knows he forgives him and Diomedes weeps and gives him a hug and Odysseus dies
Odysseus dies in his arms and doesn’t win the game
whoops so ….
they have a funeral and after the funeral Diomedes is washing dishes when Telemachus gives him something and says it’s from dad and Diomedes opens the small box and it’s a chess piece.
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hermanunworthy · 2 years ago
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never again?
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leeneir · 1 year ago
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hiii ^_^!!! I hope ur having a wonderful day. Rlly love ur iso hcs (i’m srry i’m saying it again but their so good 😭.)
I was wondering could you do a pt.2 of the relationship hcs? Like how Iso would act once the relationship has rlly set in and he’s completely comfortable with us?
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thank you!
Ahhh!!! I'm so happy you love ny hcs!!!😭😭🫶🫶 PLEASE DONT APOLOGIZE IM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL THAT PPL LIKE MY STUFF LOL
I hope that this is to your liking!!<33
Relationship 2.0; Iso x GN!Reader
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Im ngl yall, I'm the thpe of person to write a 100k slowburn romance buildup but when it comes to actually writing the relationship itself... mind is wont to blank...
Your relationship is hidden from the others. Even with the no frat rule being tsken out of procotol policy, Iso is keen about keeping your relationship private. The only one that knows are Sage and whoever you're close/best friends with.
Don't get me wrong, he's not ashamed of you or your relationship or anything like that. Behind closed doors, Iso is the best boyfriend you could ever ask for. I mentioned it in the last post, but he's really just a big softie.
Iso turns in for the night at a designated time without fail, but you know that he doesn't actually sleep. You'll make up some excuse to the others to check up on him in his room.
Some nights, he'll let you in and you both talk about your day and it's relatively peaceful, some nights, he wont even let you knock, using his sixth sense to sense if your near his door and instantly pull you in without a word, holding you close to him and burying his face in your neck. That's his way of saying that he missed you very much💜
Very cuddly, he likes having the reassurance that you're alive and breathing by keeping you close to him.
He calls you by your name, and he'll ask you to do the same. Sure, he likes his new name "Iso", but Zhao Yu much rather preferred the intimate connection to you have when you call each other by gov names which was something he didn't get often. Names are a not so fun thing for him. (He's a lil traumatized, but that's for another post🤭)
When it gets cold, Iso also runs cold. If you run warm, you can put your hands on his face and he'll lean into the touch or you can grab his hands and just hold them. It's enough for him. If you run cold, it's the only time he's fine with PDA, aka snuggling on the couch.... joined by the other agents.
When it comes to jealousy, ik I mentioned it in the other post too, but he has another reaction. If Iso see's you with another agent that's flirting with you, he'll come up and offer you to listen to music with him. As you listen and are distracted, he stares at the other agent with his 'assassin' glare per se.
One day at a sleep over with the other agents, you guys play a classic game of truth or dare. It's your turn, you say truth. Jett goes in for the classic "Do you have a crush on anyone here?" And you deny it. You can feel someone staring at you, and once the others are distracted, you turn to Iso who has subtle smirk on his face, nodding his head back to signal that he wants you guys to leave. You playfully roll your eyes.
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demonbarberofbeepbeep · 9 months ago
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morning toddheads
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littiaye · 2 years ago
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she would totally be kick ass i just know it
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214c · 5 months ago
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doodles from my tokyo trip
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edgamz · 1 year ago
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You’re nothing without me !!
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coffinkissez · 4 months ago
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me after a long day being visibly alt and queer and yelling back at street preachers 😊😊😊
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crows-of-buckets · 5 months ago
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Just remembered there's not gonna be any guides when Veilguard drops... My actions are actually gonna have consequences this is terrifying
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xxplastic-cubexx · 2 months ago
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Magneto voice claim options… Graham Mctavish, Paul Saint Peter, John Burgemer (Tien), Peter Cullen, Matt Mercer (for a younger Magneto), Keith David, and Jason Maranocha.
Charles Voice claim options… either David Kaye (who already voicdd him) , Y. Chang, or David Vincent.
Though i’d share this. Have a nice night
john burgemer for erik highkey a funny pick like everyone else (bar mercer ibut you did specify 'yong' so ill be Moderately forigivng) is an appropriate fit tbh but idk burgemer is just so strange if im lookin at tien as a reference point... w hat tien doin here. ...... everyone else tho i can see well to a degree
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