#i legit don’t even know where she wants me to ‘cut back’ ?!

[johndonneswife]

my mother has been calling me every day ‘just checking in’ to ‘see how i’m doing’ and she’s been asking me what’s new etc…today i was like ‘oh…nothing’ and she MANIPULATED me like ‘something is wrong!!! why don’t you trust your own mother!! what did i ever do to you!!! i always do everything wrong why do you hate me just tell me what happened!!’ and i was like holy fuck calm downnnn. then i made the MISTAKE of venting bc our rent is going up so fucking much and it’s the last thing we need right now and she just goes ‘well at least you’re healthy. think of POOR EMILY!!! she has cancer! she’s going through so much! you should be grateful you don’t have cancer like she does!!!’ like no shit of course i’m happy i don’t have cancer but why are you pulling out my friend’s cancer card to make me feel bad when YOU MADE ME!!! tell you why i was upset and you…asked…me…why i sounded…sad…..omg she is driving me nuts i’m about to change my phone number

[kelppsstuff]

So like what if Adam didn't die and lute managed to come out of the battle WITH an arm?

I want both of them to suffer a little so hear me out

What if our dear reader is an exorcist? So of course she's an angel!

What'll their reaction be if the two witnessed their dear close friend, the sweetest angel and friend they had the fortune to meet in their long lives, sacrifice herself so that the two of them would go back safely? (Forcing herself to go beyond her limits, healing all of their wounds and even opening a portal back to heaven just for the two of them.)

+ the fact that they're both horrible people and the only person who cared for both of them, tended their wounds, always there to back them both up, is now gone?

Angst is calling for me to make the two of them suffer a lil

Omg yes! This is such a good idea! I love making characters suffer! ALSO I do every request so don’t be afraid to send them! And it may take me some time to get to them, but I shall get to them. Sorry it took so long hope you enjoy! By far the favorite thing I’ve ever wrote. Like legit made me cry.

“I’m so fucking sorry!”

Part One| Part Two

Masterlist

Warning: death, angst, cursing

Summery: Adam and Lute watch you die, the only person they loved

—

“Are you guys sure about this? I mean what if her father shows up?” You spoke to the two exterminator angels.

They both looked to you simultaneously and there eyes softened on your worried form. Lute was the first to speak up to ease your worries. “It’s gonna be okay. Lucifer was the one who let us do this yearly anyways.” You nodded your head. She was right but you still worried.

“Don’t worry about it, hot stuff. If he shows up I can handle him.” Adam spoke ever so confidently. “Promise?” You were so afraid for them. Adam walked over and gave you a hug, kissing the top of your head. “Promise.” You reached out for Lute, wanting her to join the hug as well.

As she joined the hug you spoke from between their chest. “After the battle let’s all go and have a beach day.” The two angels laughed and agreed.

—

You hurried to Lute as you so saw her rip her arm off. You never flew so fast in your life. When you got to her you stopped her from flying after Vaggie. “We have to help Adam!” She spoke frantically.

“And I will. You need to sit down and let me help you first.” You sat her on the ground and placed your hands over where her arm should be.

A white glowing light came from your hands as you focused on rebuilding her arm. You started to feel dizzy as blood pooled in your moth. You could see black spots but when you were down Lutes arm had been good as new. You would t even know it’s been severed if not for her uniform sleeve. You two went to stand but the ground rumbled. You looked up and saw a golden light. Adams golden light came down in the middle of the hotel.

You quickly threw Lute away from the beam and got hit instead. A cut was in your shoulder. In went clean through. Your arm was fucking toasted from the severed nerves. You finally blacked out.

—

“Welcome to heaven.” Saint Peter spoke as you arrived at the golden gates. Though you weren’t interested in him, more so the man beside him talking to another female. “Then when the concert was over a BUNCH of girl came to the back to meet me. It was awesome.” The man spoke. You quickly intruded the conversation. “You play in a band?”

The man is what seemed like a mask turned to look at you, while sipping his drink loudly. “Sure am babe! Your looking at the first man!” Your eyes widened, but not because he was first man. “What part in the band do you play.”

You showed no interest in him being the first man. Normally that would piss him off but this time he didn’t care. “Guitarist.” Your smile widened.

You looked to the girl, clearly wanting her to joking the conversation as well. “Are you apart of the band?!” You were so excited and nice. It felt refreshing for Lute. “No.” Her voice sounded cold, though talking to you sparked a warmth inside her. “I’m Y/N.”

Lute smiled and extended her hand. “Lute.” You started to excitedly shake her hand. Happy to make a new friend.

Adam wrapped his arm around you both. “I’m Adam.” Well two new friends.

—

“You guys what?!” You asked, eyes wide at what just came out of Adams mouth. It was a slip up on Adams part. They had just gotten done with the extermination and Adam was use to telling you everything. So he may have slipped up and started talking about the extermination.

“Listen babe. It has to be done.” Adam was worried. Worried that you would get kicked out of heaven if Sera found out you knew.

Lute was the one who explained the whole situation. How the sinners were up-rising. How it needed to be done to protect heaven.

To both Adam and Lutes surprise you understood. It made them happy that you were accepting of it. For the first time they truly felt like someone wouldn’t leave. Sure they had each other before this but there friendly relationship really started from you being there glue.

“Okay babe but now that you know you have to become an exterminator like us.”

That made you nervous but Adam and Lute always stayed with you during it. They also didn’t expect you to kill anyone. All you needed to do was wear the uniform one day a year.

—

You stared at the papers that needed to be done. Since you didn’t kill the demons you demanded to do Adams paperwork.

You slowly blinked. You were tired but you had an hour to finish this and give it to Sera.

A coffee was placed right in front of you. You looked up and saw Lute. You smiled at her and grabbed the coffee. You also grabbed her hand and gave her a friendly kiss on the lips.

It was something you two had started doing recently. A way to give each-other the attention you craved.

Just as that had happened Adam walked through the door. His eyes widened. You were quick to explain it was platonic before he could assume anything. One he understood what happened he demanded you start doing that with him. He demanded the same thing from Lute as well.

As time went on many people believed you were in a poly relationship. But y’all were platonic friends who did romantic things sometimes.

Sure y’all all had sex together quite a bit, but no one ever felt any romantic feelings. It was all friendly and it felt natural.

—

You groaned awake at the sound of Adam shouting. “All of man-kind came from these nuts!” You opened your eyes to see Lute staring down at you, panic in her eyes. You smiled at her. Though your moment was cut short at the sound of Adam gasping. You looked over to him and saw a little maid stabbing him. You and Lute shouted Adams name as your hurried to fly to him. Fuck.

“Adam look at me your going to be fine.” You spoke your tone in confidence despite the tears running down your face. He smiled at his two girls looking over him.

He may have lost two wives, but he gained two best friends he would never replace for a damn thing.

You started to heal his wound with your hand like you did Lutes arm. You could feel pain all throughout your body as you pushed your limits. Your eyes started bleeding as did your nose.

Lute was conflicted as she watched you. She knew you needed rest but she didn’t want Adam to die. All you had to do was save Adam she would get you to a hospital.

But you weren’t making it back.

As Adam eyes opened he felt better than the first day he was made. He looked to Y/N and she smiled at him. Happy he was okay. He went to talk but she fell to his side. Her breath shallow. He hurriedly got up and looked her up and down. At that moment the portal closed and all the angels were gone beside him, you and Lute.

“Fuck babe look at me.” Your eyes were distant but you focused back in on him. Your Adam. Your apple.

“I love you, Apple. I love you too, wild girl.” You said to them both. Making them cry harder. “I love you too. More than anything.” They both said to her simultaneously. You closed your eyes and a portal opened.

“Fuck!” Lute shouted. She knew you weren’t going to make it.

“I’m so fucking sorry!” He spoke loudly as your eyes started to flutter closed. “It’s okay. Be happy. And go have that beach day.” Lute sobbed in her hand as she fell to the ground.

Adam gripped to you harder his tears falling to your chest as he cried silently. He couldn’t shout anymore. “Come back to us.” He whispered. You didn’t complete his wish. The one time you didn’t give him what he wished for.

Your breathing stopped and your halo fell. “I’m sorry baby.” Adam cooed in your ear, as he started to rock the two of you. Begging for god to give him back the one of the two woman he ever loved. You and Lute.

He looked to the sky. “You cruel manipulative bastard! Was a good person. I thought god was supposed to be merciful.” Lucifer watched as the first man shared the same rage he once had with god. “I have never asked for anything! I didn’t ask for Lilith. I didn’t ask for Eve! All I ask is to bring Y/N back to us.” But god did not respond. Leaving Adam to turn his rage to the group watch.

“I will kill you all!” He shouted, the tears coming from his eyes seeming endless. “I will have my vengeance.”

He picked you up as Lute grabbed your halo. The two walked through the portal.

They did have that beach day, but it was your funeral. Where your body was buried where no one could find. Only him and Lute. The two hugged each other as they both lost the person they loved most.

—

OMG I HAVE NEVER CRIED WHILE WRITING SOMETHING UNTIL THIS DAY! But I hoped you enjoyed! And I do take requests so please send away!

- kelp 💛 (someone help I’m dying from heartache)

Taglist

[ipseitydelrey]

Could you maybe do a fic about Carmy and the reader where they dated all through high school and carmy asked the reader to marry him and she says no bc she doesn’t want to hold him back from going to NYC ?

THIS TOOK SO LONG IM SORRY

as they go by ☆ c. berzatto

ship carmen berzatto x fem!reader

warnings angst with an ambiguous ending (sorry babes <3), slight manipulation?, a hell of a lot of arguing, possible break-up (choice is yours), not beta-read

word count 1.5k

summary initially, you were fine with having a long-distance relationship with carmy while he was in new york city. after all, you’re just his girlfriend; you were happy with that, and that’s how you want it to stay when he’s gone.

a/n this took so insanely and unnecessarily long and i am so sorry for postponing this fic. took a while and it was difficult to write, but i felt determined to finish this. disclaimer: not my best work but i legit tried

The proposal came as a shock. You were sure it had been many seconds, maybe even a minute or two since Carmy had uttered the words “Will you marry me?” as if it was a common phrase, thrown out into the open.

To be fair, you both did discuss the possibility of marriage in the future. But you were naïve high schoolers, merely seventeen and blind to the problems you’d have to face in your personal and shared lives.

You weren’t annoyed or angry that Carmy had gotten the opportunity in New York City; on the contrary, you were happy. It’s a great thing for his career in the culinary world, and seeing him be so excited about the prospect made you feel so proud to see how far he had come.

Granted, maintaining your relationship while he was in New York and you stayed in Illinois would be hard. You told him to expect a lot of phone and video calls, as well as a bombardment of messages, but you didn’t know at the time that he would be gone for a year at least. Still, you both agreed to try.

You could handle being a long-distance girlfriend, but being a long-distance wife?

“I don’t know,” you default to as no other words could come to mind.

Carmy looks at you confused. “You don’t know?” he parrots. “What do you mean?”

You open your mouth, but no words come out.; you don’t even know why you couldn’t just say a simple “yes” or “no.” It’s hard to look him in the eyes, especially when an argument is now inevitable, so you keep your eyes glued to your fidgeting hands in your lap.

“Well, um,” you stammer, struggling to find your verbal footing, “I don’t…wanna move to New York.”

Although you only see a blurred version of him through your peripheral vision, Carmy nods slightly and purses his lips. “I know that already.”

You sigh softly, thinking of what to say next. “I’m comfortable here — I like it in Chicago. It’s just…I don’t know if we can make a long distance thing work if we’re married. I’d be busy and I’m sure you would be too, I don’t know how we would be able to see each other in person if our schedules are so full.”

He sighs; you don’t know if this is actually how he feels, but you swear that he’s annoyed that you didn’t say yes. “Is that it? Y’know, I can just stay here if it worries you—”

“No,” you’re quick to cut him off as you snap your head to look at him. “I don’t want you to give up on an amazing opportunity just because of me.”

“There’s other Michelin star restaurants in Chicago,” he reasons. “I can apply to one of them and stay here.”

“But New York!” You didn’t mean to say it that harshly, so you breathe and try to regain your composure. “I don’t know why you would want to give up being a chef in New York just for me.”

Carmy buries his face in his hands, but his mouth is still exposed. “I’m not…giving it up; I’m just relocating, that’s all. Why are you trying to put my career ahead of you?”

You scoff at the notion. “I’m not.”

“But you are,” he counters exasperatingly. “Why?”

Your lips form a line and you look down. The words are hard to conjure, but they come eventually. “You’ve just loved to cook for so long…and now you have a really good offer and I want you to take it.”

“I’ve loved you for longer.” You can’t really argue when it’s kind of the truth. But then again, he’s always had a interest in cooking — and you’re sure that he developed an interest in you after that.

Knowing that you won’t win this portion of the argument, you sigh, and try to change the topic…sort of. “There’s also another thing,” you mention, and he looks at you again. “I don’t think I’m ready for that sort of thing.”

His tone has a tinge of frustration. “You mean marriage?” he asks sarcastically.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” You’re starting to grow annoyed at his stubbornness; of course you knew he could get like this, but he’s really not letting this conversation go for another day. “You know I didn’t mean like that.”

“Well it’s the implication.” The hell does implication have to do with anything right now? “You’re saying it like it isn’t important for our relationship.”

“You couldn’t have waited until you got back from New York to pop the question?”

“I’ve waited and I’m impatient.”

“Carmen.” The nickname is no longer effective. It’s clear to him now that you’re genuinely pissed with him and have had it. “You’re not listening to me; I’m not ready. Please drop it.”

“Last time we talked about this, you were excited,” he says. “What changed?”

“Well, for one, age,” you retort. “We were, what, seventeen? It’s just teenage talk, and we were too young to be thinking about marriage already.”

You tiredly sigh, looking down at your hands again. “There’s more, isn’t there?” He doesn’t ask it like a question, but instead he says it like a statement for you to confirm.

Hesitantly, you nod. “Just— I’m not ready now, but that doesn’t really mean that I don’t want to get married ever,” you try to grasp at any rational explanation you can, struggling to try to explain why. “If you loved me, then you’d wait, y’know.”

Your eyes shoot wide at the realization of what just slipped out of your lips; did you really just say that? It sounds as if Carmy is thinking that exact same question. “I didn’t mean—”

“You think I don’t love you?” His voice carries a sliver of anger and insecurity as he asks that.

“No, Carm—”

Your words force him to look away from you, his brows furrowed and his nose scrunched. He breathes once through his nose deeply before abruptly getting up from the couch and making a beeline towards the bedroom. Worried, you follow his path and find him harshly opening the closet door and pulling out an old suitcase.

You stand there, a few feet away from him, realizing what he’s doing. “Carmy—”

“You want me to drop it, I’m dropping it.” He doesn’t even so much as glance at you as he tosses the suitcase on the bed and starts to grabs his clothes. “You want me to go to New York, I’m taking the fucking offer. I know you don’t want me here anymore; that’s fine.”

“That’s not true.”

The way he packs is haphazard, rushed and angry; much like how he tends to cook when he gets too emotional. He doesn’t even take the time to fold some of the clothes, opting to instead stuff them in and hope they fit well enough to get the zipper closed. “You have all these excuses and you keep delaying it. It’s clear — you’re fine with marriage, but not with marrying me. You keep saying that you’re not ready, but you’re just too scared to say no. And now I have to do it for you.”

He does manage to close the suitcase and he’s fast to collect it and move past you. “Carm, please,” you turn to follow him, the initial annoyance from earlier flowing out of your body and being replaced with some sort of anxiety bubbling up in your stomach. “Let’s talk about this.”

“We did.” He’s white-knuckling the handle of the bag and he looks at you for only a second. You see a flash of anger, disappointment, and something else you can’t quite put your finger on in his eyes. He unlocks the front door.

“Carmen—”

And you’re interrupted by the abrupt slam of the door closing and the absence of him. Just like that, he’s gone; not even giving you a chance to change his mind or even explain what he means to you — what he meant to you.

You’re supposed to cry, but you can’t even try to force any tears out. You’re just numb and bewildered at how fast the situation unfolded.

You consider for a moment about chasing him like the end of an early 2000’s romcom, but you know that this isn’t like a movie. This isn’t fiction, it’s reality; he wouldn’t just accept you back into his arms like nothing happened, he’d be bitter and loathsome, even more so than he usually is.

You’re not sad. You can’t bring yourself to be sad over him, especially when he couldn’t try to understand how you felt. No, you’re…angry? Would that even be the right word for how you feel now that he’s gone?

You don’t need to think about that; you don’t want to right now. Instead, you drag yourself back to the couch where this all started and you fall onto its cushions, tired of him and tired of this.

The next step to take isn’t clear to you at the moment. You could call Carmy, you could wait, or you could not speak to him ever again. The choice is yours to make, but you don’t want to choose right now. Your eyelids grow heavy, and so you let yourself fall into a cold sleep.

would y’all want a part 2 or not? i’d only write it if y’all wanted it.

[thebearer]

no but i love your writing! ever since i watched s1 and 2 last weekend because of a youtube ad, i peaked in the carmy tag and was a surprised to see the amount of stories carmy had! would love a scenario where he’s married to a sassy, take no shit type of reader sim to natalie. his wife legit could work with him for all i care. but for whatever reason he does something w/o checking in— he prolly just forgot. she finds out and confronts him hella pissed (could be at family or during restaurant prep idc) and she says “oh, if carmen said it was cool.” not even carmy the full government name bro 😭. p much how natalie articulated it 🤣. can’t remember the ep but in early season 1 when marcus blew the fuse you can also include slick commentary from richie (and fak) if you’d like! tysm in advance 🥰. also if you don’t me me asking, do you have name/alias on this blog? what we can call you? enjoy your week

- 🥣

yes yes yes ahhhhh! he definitely needs someone who keeps him in line but walks that fine line where he can also keep them in line (bc dom!carmy is living in my heart rent free forever lol). also you can call me e if you'd like :) thank you for your sweet words! i hope you have a good week, and hope you enjoy this!

"What's this?" You ask Sydney, looking at the new box being unloaded from the truck- big and bulky in a crate, far too large to be a produce shipment.

"Uh, I think it's the new glassware for the bar." Sydney looked at her clipboard, back at you carefully.

"Glassware? What new glassware. We haven't picked that out yet." You frowned, looking at the crate carefully.

"Oh, well, it was in Carmen's notes for the day, so... I think that's the only shipment we have. Unless the hostess stand came early, which would be amazing, but you-" Sydney stopped her ramblings, seeing your soured expression. "You know what? Never mind, uh, ignore me. I'm just...Carmen's with Sugar and Richie in the back if you want to ask him."

"Thanks, Syd." You muttered, ripping the bell open with a shrill before bounding towards the back. You could hear them before you saw them, a familiar chorus of chatter and rising voices.

"Hey, so what's the delivery out front?" You ask, not bothering to wait for them to acknowledge you. If you did, you'd never talk, they all talked over each other.

"The new glasses for the bars." Sugar turned, smiling softly at you. "How are you doing?"

"Good." You muttered, eyes cutting to Carmen. "We haven't ordered new glasses yet."

"Uh, well, I thought you liked the ones from last week, angel." Carmen's eyes were bulged, clearly flustered.

"I said I liked them for basics, but I needed you to confirm a drink menu." You glared at him, arms crossing over his chest.

"You can't put the drinks in that?" Carmen asked, hand flying out towards the hall.

"Not if you want the specialty, no." You huffed. "Carmen, I told you to wait just a few days and we could get them at the wholesale market. The textured ones for the signature at least."

"Uh-oh," Richie muttered, snickering to Fak.

"Can you not use the glasses I got?" Carmen sighed.

"I can, but did you get enough? And did we decide if the signature is going in a whiskey glass or a cylinder one? Did you order double of those?" You lifted a brow, taking a step towards him. Richie and Nat watched, heads turning from you and Carmen like a tennis match.

Carmen paused, running a hand down his face. "N-No, but-"

"-So what are you going to do when we open and you run out of drinks, huh? When everyone orders the signature and it comes in different glasses? You think those travel groupie influencers won't notice? Won't post about it and make it a big fucking deal?" You countered.

"Then we'll figure it out!" Carmen huffed. "Look I gave the order to Richie, and-"

"-Hey, no fuckin' way cousin. You gave me your order." Richie held his hand up. "Sweetheart, Carmy said it was good so I just placed the order."

"Well, if Carmen said it was good, then it must be, right? He's the fucking boss." You snarl, glaring at Carmen furiously. "Seems like you've got it under control, Carm, so I'll leave it to you." You turn on your heel, furiously stomping away.

Richie and Fak wait until they hear the slam of the office door, to release their cackles. "Oooh! Cousin, you are in the fuckin' dog house now." Richie laughed, Fak's chorus of barks emphasizing his statement.

"Shut up, ok? Just shut the fuck up." Carmen growled, running a hand through his hair.

"Carmy, why wouldn't you ask her before you ordered? She's your mixologist." Nat sighed, shoulders heavy with disappointment.

"Also your girlfriend." Sydney added, poking her head in. "I told you to wait. Just saying."

"Thank you, alright, thank you all for your fuckin' helpful words." Carmen snapped. "Just... Nat, make sure they get all that shit set up right, ok? Make sure the dishwasher fucking works before we're open, please."

The office door was shut, and Carmen hesitated, reaching for the knob anxiously. He wasn't sure if he should knock- I mean, fuck, this is his office but... you were already so mad at him. Knuckles rapping on the door, he didn't wait for the invite in- knowing he'd never get one.

Carmen found you, sniffling in a furious pout in the corner, body angled away from the door. "Baby-" Carmen started with a sigh, shoulders falling gently at your upset state.

"-Don't." You snap, wiping your eyes. "Don't even start with me, Carmen." The way you say his full name sounds so bitter, too formal and full of malice to be from you.

"I-I'm sorry. I thought we agreed on it, and-and Richie was pressuring me and... And you're right. I shouldn't have made that decision without you, and I'm sorry." Carmen said slowly, waiting for your gaze to meet his, angry, wet, waterline.

"Yeah, you shouldn't have." You agreed bitterly, wiping your eyes. "I get this is your restaurant, Carmen, but don't ask for my help if you're just gonna do what you want anyways. That's-That's not nice."

"I know." Carmen nodded slowly, approaching you with the caution he would a wild animal. "I want your help. I do, and-and I like your idea that the house drink goes in the special glass. Makes it stand out."

You lifted your gaze up to his. "Yeah?" You asked, he nodded, sitting next to you. "Did you blow your budget?"

"No," Carmen shook his head, not a total lie. Fak had been able pull some strings with the new stoves, turns out he did have a guy. It left a little over five thousand left over.

"We could go to that place, if you want to. Go look and see if they have the glasses. Get a rough estimate of about how many we'd need." Carmen offered, his hand cupping your thigh gently, thumb rubbing over your leg in soothing circles.

"As long as Sydney or Nat does the numbers and not you." You snorted lightly, rolling your eyes at him.

He laughed, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I'll get Sugar to run 'em, alright? Then we can go. Call it an early night."

You beamed at the idea, letting him slide in next to you, melting into your side. "That sounds good." You hummed, letting your head fall on his shoulder.

"I-I'm real sorry I didn't as you ." Carmen muttered. "That was shitty."

"Yeah." You sighed in agreement. "I just... I want to be included in things." You asked, looking up at him sweetly. "Not everything, but-but at least the things that apply to my area."

"I know." Carmen nodded, his hand catching your cheek softly. "I'll let you handle it next time, alright? I trust your opinion."

"You don't have to do that-"

"-No, you're right, I don't. But-But I want to." Carmen nodded. "I know you're lookin' out for the best in this place just like I am."

[magicalbuttertarts]

Random request- Grayson Waller told a story recently that he nearly choked to death during lunch before Wrestlemania 40. Could you do a oneshot with a female reader where she finds out what happened AFTER the fact and how she reacts and comforts him?

If you don’t wanna do it, please ignore!

WWE Masterlist

This has not been proofread. Please enjoy though.

Warnings: mentions food choking. But nothing really

Requested by anonymous. I hope you like it.

WC: 485

©️ magicalbuttertarts 2024: do not repost or translate my work. This is the only place I post my work

I couldn't believe what I was watching.

I always watch interviews with the Grayson in them, but I was not expecting to hear how my boyfriend almost died.

“He legit saved my life the day before WrestleMania. So I eat the steak and I’m like, ‘Uh oh.’ I have some water, and when I had the water the water didn’t even go down.”

I am constantly telling this man to cut his food smaller, but does he listen?

Apparently not.

I hope he will now.

Grayson continued, “And I’m looking at Indi Hartwell there, and I’m looking at Indi like, ‘Hey, I’m choking,’ and she’s just sitting there smiling at me. Thank God this brother realizes what’s going on, cause in my head I’m going, ‘Dude, I’m going to die the day before I debut at WrestleMania. Like this is the worst time to die, it’s going to be so embarrassing.’ But then my tag partner came through, saved my life.”

Great, I am in Austin's debt now for saving his life. I wonder what stupid gift he will want this time.

As I became lost in my thoughts, the door to our hotel room open, Grayson calling out that it was just him.

I placed my laptop on the bed, and stood up, walking towards the smiling fool of a man I love.

"Hello, love."

"Why didn't you tell me you almost died?" My arms crossed in front of my chest.

"What?" He was taken back.

"The night before WrestleMania." It finally dawned on him.

He could tell by the look on my face that I was upset, just not at him, but the whole situation.

Grayson wrapped his arms around me, and I buried my face in his chest.

He kissed the top of my head a few times. "I'm sorry. I should have told you, but you just got in and I knew how tired you were."

I pulled my head back to look at him in the eye. "I don't care Grayson. You should have told me."

"The next time I am on the brink of death, you will be the first to know."

I giggled as I swatted his chest.

Grayson kissed me, muttering once more how sorry he was.

"You do know that I have to buy Austin a stupidly expensive gift now right?"

"Yeah, about that. He has already said what he wants."

It was my turn to choke. "Austin will be getting a pre-owned watch. Who does he think he is to ask for an $18,000.00 watch?

"He figured you would say that, so he is asking for a homecooked meal, with your lasagna when we get back home."

"Now that I can do Grayson."

He smiled and kissed me once more.

But he doesn't know that I will watching him a bit more closely from now on.

May have to get our friends on it.

Tag list: @lghockey @nicoleveno14 @madhatterbri @legit9thlunaticwarrior @hooks-martin @wwenhlimagines @melissahausen @faerieofthenightcourt @tahiri-veyla @crowleysqueenofhell

[peachdues]

Chapter 2 was amazing wow. Sanemi is in DEEEEEP

And look… not that I don’t understand sanemi and what he’s going through… but god my heart truly breaks for reader.😞 she woke up already scared like she knew that she was about to lose him. Clutching that poor blanket to her body like she was anticipating her nakedness and vulnerability in every aspect during the times to come. And for him to go radio silent? And probably prove every doubt she ever felt right? I can’t imagine how hard and painful it must be to lay yourself bare, mind and body, declaring your love and allowing him to be your first with only the hope that you would be something different, and you’re left alone at your most vulnerable. Ohhhh I’m afraid something like that would actually traumatize me lmao sanemi it’s time to lock in

Ahhh thank you so much!!

I love the consideration you give her (especially since I cut the chapter off right before her POV picks back up lol). Yeah, it’s a pretty tactless move on Sanemi’s part, even if he has a legit reason for why he’s avoiding her.

That said, I’ve always maintained that Compass isn’t angsty (at least, as between the main couple), so I think you’ll be happy to see how she handles it (which is. Leagues better than him). That isn’t to say she doesn’t have her doubts or anxieties — she does. But she understands him probably better than he does himself, and that means knowing who and what he is. Sanemi’s observation of her at the end of chapter one still rings true — she didn’t expect him to say he loved her back; she just wanted him to know where she stood.

All the angst in this story is either inside of Sanemi’s own head (boy needs to stop having thoughts before he gets hurt) or from external sources. I’ll actually go out on a limb here and say there’s no real miscommunication between them — at least, not like I’ve done in other fics!!

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Hi RTA ..

Adding to my earlier ask about Meghan stealing clothes from a photoshoot.

Vanessa said that this was a recent photoshoot that meghan has done AFTER megxit. She did this is California, the photoshoot happened in santa Barbara and that it was for a news organization (as opposed to a magazine). It was NOT reitmanns. And that sources from from the organization and designer team have confirmed this to her sometime in the last month.

So, now we have 2 confirmed separate incidences, reitmanns and this recent one, where Meghan stole stuff. As in simply walked away with things that she wanted to keep after the photoshoot and never informed or asked.

Vanessa is legit. She has previously done a profile on Meghan for Tatler and The Cut. She also came on Andrew's podcast 2 years back and dropped some tea back then.

Interesting. Thanks for following up!

In that case, the options are Time Magazine (for the hairdresser photos), The Cut, and Variety. I’m leaning towards Variety because it’s the seminal Hollywood insider publication that someone like Meghan would obsess over. The Cut is too new media and doesn’t fit in with her 90s/00s dream of worldwide domination.

And note, this could explain why she hasn’t gotten any more photoshoots - everyone knows about her sticky fingers and no one wants to risk it. Fashion and media is a small world so those people are absolutely going to talk to each other about this. Even though it may take time, years even, for it to trickle out to the general public, people in the industry would learn about it pretty quickly.

It may also explain the difficulty she has in finding people to dress her for events and she has to resort to the off-the-rack bargain Hermes and Carolina Herrera. And if that’s what’s going on, it may explain her avoidance of the Hollywood awards season despite all the manifesting - the people she wants to wear won’t dress her.

And now I’m rethinking the new stylist. Did she hire Adele’s stylist because Meghan realized she burned fashion bridges and thinks having a stylist to hustle on her behalf will get her back in everyone’s good graces? Something to think and speculate about.

(This is probably a good time to say that I don’t listen to podcasts or watch YouTube so a lot of those links y’all send me are going to be posted without being listened/watched.)

[showtoonzfan]

Anyways I want to talk about Nerdy Prudes Must Die real quick, Starkid’s recent Hatchetfeild musical. I love the show, it’s amazing in so many ways, I can’t say much about it that others haven’t already said so I won’t be really vocal about how good it is, at least yet. That’s why I really want to share just a few criticisms or nitpicks I have, cause I don’t see a lot of people talk about that and I’ve personally been itching to get these out lol. Keep in mind I love the musical to death and I just want to see if other fans have the same opinions I do or not, if you disagree that’s fine! Spoilers for the musical!

- My biggest complaint is that I feel like Stephanie doesn’t get enough screen time. Not that she’s not developed or fleshed out, but after rewatching NPMD a million times you’ll know that the two main characters that get the most screen time are Grace and Pete. (Especially Grace cause she steals the show, not in a bad way tho). However, Steph is supposed to be a main character but to me she kinda feels like a side character pushed to the back. I’d say this starts when the kids plan to prank Max, and moving forward she eventually goes from someone being at the front to a follower until the near end where they have to summon the lords in black. I will say of course it does make sense, for a cast like this you have to move main characters to the back to leave room to develop others, that’s fine, but I still can’t help but feel that Steph lacked more.

I think of all characters she should have gotten her own song too, I was disappointed to hear that she actually DID have one and even a reprise until it was cut. Jeff had said it was about her being a popular kid and how she struggles with that, and I think it would have been really interesting to see, it would have added more. Though of course cut songs are cut for a reason, Jeff had said it didn’t fit or add anything but it’s still something I wish we had.

- Some fans have already said this, but it is distracting how glossed over the deaths of the characters are, mainly Ruth and Richie. Max’s death makes sense here, because he was a jerk and the theme of how the town and the kids didn’t care for him when he died and glossed over his death was done on purpose, but for Ruth and Richie…the characters they were actually friends with didn’t seem to care. For starters after Richie dies no one notices he’s gone, and when the gang do find out he dies, nothing really comes of it other than a “wait Richies dead?” Then the characters just move on, Ruth dies and the same thing happens to her, only a “wait she’s dead?” line and that’s it. Pete was the closest to these two and we don’t even get to see him mourn, or a simple line indicating that. I don’t blame the characters themselves but if you asked me if I thought the writing for the musical was just a teensy weensy rushed, I’d say yeah.

- That also leads to my other problem, “If I loved you” feels misplaced. The song itself is good but it takes place legit right after Ruth dies, a character who got an amazing send off. There isn’t time to process it at all because now Pete and Steph are arguing over their relationship, and after that Grace bursts in to kick off them leaving. I feel like “If I loved you” should have been placed before “Just For Once”, that would have been slightly better.

- Okay so this is just a nitpick but I didn’t like “Best of You”. For a horror musical (especially for Hatchetfeild) it feels VERY forced and preppy and it just threw me off I’m so sorry. That’s why I was thankful “Dirty Dudes Must Die” was the true ending because that fits more with the universe and the tone of the show. I guess it makes sense though because Jeff had revealed “Best of You” was an in universe pop song that the students were just singing, so after I heard that it made perfect sense on why I thought it was so cheesy lol because it wasn’t supposed to be a song for the show itself.

Still like some others have said, the way everyone is so happy in the ending throws me off. I get that they establish a few weeks had passed but after ALL of the hell the characters went through only to cut to them carefree at prom it’s….off putting. Like Steph is literally an orphan now and Pete’s friends are dead. And it doesn’t get addressed or acknowledged AKSKKSSM 😭

And that’s pretty much it regarding issues I had with the musical. It’s damn near perfect, I just think the script is a little rushed and the pacing is kinda all over the place. Other than that? It’s amazing and I’ll definitely talk about it more soon. Feel free to disagree with me!

[dreamfluxes]

Do you have some Ami's voice lines?

this took so long… i wrote this before 2.6 before rappa voice lines were released so bear with me! they’re all below the cut 😎

First Meeting:

You can call me Amihan. I'm just a lone drifter amongst the stars, no need to pay me any mind. Unless you need parts, of course. Don't ask me where I source them though, haha…

Greetings:

Heya! Wonder what sort of treasures we’ll dig up today?

Parting:

Fair winds, my friend! I’m sure we’ll find our way back to each other soon enough.

About Self: Captain

I wouldn’t call myself a captain, but I am the only member of the S.S. Nova, so everything falls to me. Navigation, repairs, cleaning, keeping stock… Solo ship life keeps you humble.

About Self: Mechanical Peg Leg

My leg? I carved the wooden bit myself. I lost it in a freak accident when I was wrestling a shark on my home planet— or maybe it was when I fought against that brute from the Annihilation gang.. or was it when I was doing repairs on my ship and that piece of metal fell— Ah! I’m getting carried away here, aren’t I? I’ll tell you another time!

Chat: Business

If you’re ever in need of some scrap metal or ahem, IPC approved goods, just message me. I have dealings in the trade– and you won’t have to pay the abhorrent prices they put up on the market.

Chat: Principles

You gotta give to take, everything has balance in this universe. Just so happens that I like giving miscreants a good flogging, and I like taking their belongings as my payment, and sharing that with people who really need it.

Hobbies

I like making these little carvings in my spare time… This one’s a horse, this one’s a dog. Um, this one’s supposed to be a shark. I’m not used to this kind of wood, so it’s hard for me to get the shape right. N-No, it’s not an excuse!

Annoyances

This might sound odd coming from me, but I get the worst motion sickness when someone else is at the wheel. No offense to Pom-Pom.

Something to Share

Look, I don’t believe in luck. If you want something you can’t just dawdle, waiting for something to happen. You need to take action. That’s all we can do in this universe.

Knowledge

Lushaka is a place filled with flooded ruins and seas so blue it’s hard to see where the water ends and the sky begins. The scholars there have tried to tell me about the ruins, but honestly, I’m more interested in the sunken treasures that are waiting to be found…

About Boothill

He’s a reckless one, isn’t he? We galaxy rangers tend to work alone, but you wouldn’t believe the amount of times he’s dragged me into the fray, even if it is just the tail end of whatever mess he’s gotten himself into. Not like I don’t enjoy it though, heh.

About Boothill 2

…I have a lot of respect for Boothill. I envy him sometimes, but deep down, I know I could never do what he could. To have everything taken like that… it’s… *sigh*

About Rappa

It might be a little hard to keep up with her way of… communicating, but I promise you, she’s got a good head on her shoulders. I trust her judgement. She reminds me of my little sister…

About Rappa 2

The Cosmic Ninjutsu Inscriptions? Rappa tries to teach me, but it just goes in through one ear and out the other for me. I’m not too good with words and remembering things like that, but I’m happy to indulge her.

About Aventurine

Ugh, if I have to hear him speak about luck again, I might just send myself overboard. Is it really luck if he’s putting in that much effort to scheme and calculate the outcome?

About Sampo

Sounds awfully like this guy who keeps undercutting me online– Once, I even tried to buy from him just to see if he was legit. Turns out he’s all talk. He even pretended to be a bot when I confronted him… No integrity!

About Himeko

I met Himeko and the Astral Express once upon a time, she offered me an incredibly bitter cup of coffee whilst talking my ear off about fixing the Express. I could only understand a quarter of what she was saying… but wow, she’s amazing to do all of that by herself.

Eidolon Activation

Dead men tell no tales.

Character Ascension

There she blows!

Max Level Reached

Time to take this seriously.

Trace Activation

All hands on deck!

Added to Team With Boothill

Keep up, cowboy!

Added to Team with Rappa

Er, how does it go again.. As the Cosmic Ninjutsu Inscriptions read: “Let’s kick some serious butt!”

Added to Team with Trailblazer

Up for some treasure hunting after this? Saw some untouched trash cans on my way here.

EXTRA:

rappa and boothills voicelines for ami

About Captain Yukaze

The Captain's attempts at learning the Cosmic Ninjutsu Inscriptions are commendable, but it seems she has a long way to go if she wishes to reach an acceptable level of ninjutsu. I worry for her…

About Ami

Ami’s saved my behind more than a couple of times— I owe her, but uh, I’m not too sure on how to really pay her back, plus she always denies whatever I throw at her, insisting she doesn’t need it. She’s not good with her drink, so a good malt’s out the window and she’s pretty set in her ways with her weapons so I can’t get her something new… I’m at my wits end here…

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hi Jalebi! How are you? I hope you’re doing well, I just saw your IPK edit on Instagram for its 13th anniversary and it’s so so good, really amazing.

My question is regarding consummation episode, like I have no doubt in my mind about whether they consummated or not but what really confuses me is the scene that’s followed by later on. Usually in any after consummation scene we see couple in the bed together cuddling but here Arnav and Khushi were in different places. And considering the fact that Khushi remembered all of it and then Arnav and Khushi also talked about it proves that it wasn’t their dream or imagination.

Then why they were shown in separate place? Is it because Arnav drove back home and dropped Khushi at Laxminagar so that their families don’t find out?

Hello Anon!

I'm doing well and thank you so much for loving my edit <3 (It's on instagram) I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME DOING IT :")

Lol you answered your question by yourself but this is my fav scene so here's a lengthy answer.

Ok, this is where our minds fill in. Cause even though TV shows things in far more detail than films do, sometimes they leave a gap where we can draw enough conclusion.

Off screen note: While I would've loved a post sex scene (which is also common in ITV), I do think they didn't have Barun for much time cause it was his birthday (I crack up every time I remember dude shot a consummation sequence for his birthday, lol insert Sanaya Nakuul laughing their heads off at this trivia), which means that apart from the vital consummation sequence, the rest of the episodes where filled with other characters and things they had to do. Which plot wise, imo, doesn't affect anything at all, it was cute seeing what the fam was upto.

I do think a few of us were like did it happen or not (pat on our backs for going yeah man let them make out pre marriage), but also there was a weird lot who was obsessed with thinking they are married so sex is ok or no they didn't have sex cause weren't married properly yet.

But yes, generally TV will have a sequence and I personally love after sex sequences cause it's just so warm and full of fuzzy feels.

Off screen note: Also, wtf was the editor thinking cutting out the shot where Arnav removes Khushi's waist chain? Sigh, that's sooo rude of them to cut.

But coming back to point before this gets too long, what happened was that Arnav-Khushi had great sex, and Arnav quietly dropped Khushi off to her home. He probably waited until she fell asleep and he sneaked out back because, lol, they are getting married in a few hours and the whole house would be up and it would be strange finding the groom in the bride's bed.

Lol.

NK would have a field day though.

So then we see that Khushi wakes up calling for Arnav, remembers she is back at home, thinks more about having had great first time sex and has an adorable moment of OMG I AM GETTING MARRIED TODAY.

Also, they do have the classic 'post sex talk' later in the day. Like the show does a fab job of showing that everything is going in a rush! Like everything is being done asap - and literally the only time Arnav and Khushi do get to chat is legit when they're dressing up.

They barely have the privacy to have a detailed conversation (I love that they TALK when it comes to sex) nor the time so it's just a sweet succinct conversation.

And it's probably my favorite scene in the show cause confident/mature Khushi and sensitive/vulnerable Arnav is my favorite combination.

Arnav's hesitation shows that honestly post sex they really didn't have time so they probably had to race home! Which is why he didn't get to aftercare much, didn't get to ask her how she's feeling. Perhaps he wanted to say more, reassure more. He knows what sex means to her - if just in case she felt pressured or had regrets or even the basic fact it was her first time, if she's feeling ok.

He corrects his question that if she's feeling ok after last night.

And that's what Khushi answers. She hears what he wants to say and not only says that she's fine but that she enjoyed it, literally enjoyed every minute of it and she can't wait to see him.

And Arnav lets out a sigh of relief.

It's one of my favorite scenes in the show. You know the ones which seal that the couple gets a happily ever after? This one.

Best,

Jalebi

P.S: Yes I love this scene. It gives me butterflies till date.

[goldenboywrites]

sinking

Scorpius senses a trace of magic as he enters his apartment. It is his first sign that something is wrong.

Because no one knows where he is, he made sure of that when he graduated from Hogwarts and left everything and everyone behind. For a while, they had tried to seek him out. Anytime they got close, he would move. Finally, it seemed they had given up, and he had been in Cashel, Ireland ever since. 

It’s been too long for him to remember who the magical signature belongs to, but his magic recognizes it, and he knows it’s not a threat. When he gets to his apartment door, he finds it locked. Slotting the key into place, he steps into his one-bedroom apartment and looks around. It takes a second until he faces a familiar red-head from his past.

“Lily,” Scorpius greets in a warning. “I don’t recall inviting you over for tea.” 

She smiles sweetly at him from his couch and crosses her legs, raising a finger to point at his hair. “Been a while. What, like five years? Also, I hate the brown hair thing you’re doing. It doesn’t suit you.” Scorpius reaches up involuntarily to tug at the strands, hating the wave of self-consciousness that overcomes him at her comment. “You always felt like you needed to hide and change, but no one ever asked you to.” 

And it’s just like her to assume that his life has been easy when in fact, the entire fucking wizarding world had wanted him to change and to atone for things he hadn’t done. “Why are you here?” 

At this, she straightens up, pulling a binder out of her bag and placing it on the coffee table. “Before we dive into this. Let me tell you what I do know. I know you’re in between jobs. Honestly, you’ve been in between jobs for a very long time. I know that you have been attempting for a while now to open up a hybrid herbology shop and potions shop but all of your efforts have been for naught. So I tracked you down because I believe in your dream and want to make it happen. I already bought the location; as we speak, it’s being constructed. We split ownership 33% and some change between the two of us, but mostly, it’ll be yours to run as you see fit.” 

Scorpius steps forward and slides the binder off of the coffee table. He thumbs through the pages slowly. “33% and some change,” He says mockingly, “between us does not equal 100%. What are you not telling me?” His gaze flickers to hers, and he sees the truth on her face. She’s mostly telling the truth. But the business plan itself is legit. She’s not even renting the building; she bought it. It’s in a cozy little area where Teddy owns his bar, and Rose has her business. She’s trying to get him to come back into the fold. To come home. 

“There is a third investor, but he is not fully committed yet. He’s my next st-”

“I will no-” He starts, but she shakes her head, glaring up at him.

“Can you relax for a second? It’s not Albus. As if he would ever want to invest in a business like this. You may have been gone without a word for five years, but he hasn’t gotten any better at potions in that time.” 

“I was going to say I won’t work with James.” He wasn’t, but that’s no one’s business, only his own. 

She doesn’t buy it; she just rolls his eyes and lets him escape with it. “It’s a good deal, Scor. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted, and I’ve wrapped it all up in a pretty little bow for you.” 

“It’s just like a Potter to expect me to drop my entire life to come running home to run your business. I know what you do. You do whatever easy work you want, and I’ll be doing all the heavy lifting.”

“There is one Potter who you should drop your entire life and come running home to, but he’s not here asking you to do that. He has never asked you to do that, even when he should have. If you want my honest opinion-”

“I don’t.” Scorpius cuts her off because he doesn’t want to hear it. And then, “I’ll do it.”

So, in the short few weeks following Lily Potter’s visit, Scorpius moves back home. Not home, home, but in the area. He unpacks, repacks, and then unpacks again. He is committed to this; a part of him wants this. He won’t back down now. 

Two weeks after moving back home, Scorpius dyes his hair back to his original white blonde and gathers the courage to see the progress in the shop. He studied Lily’s binder front to back and sent her his edits and demands. That kept him busy for a bit, but he’s been itching to see the shop. 

So he goes. He avoids Rose’s shop because that is not a confrontation he is eager to face. Depending on how the day goes, he will stop by Teddy’s bar because he was the only one Scorpius kept in constant contact with when he moved away, and there will be no confrontation with him. The rest…will have to be baby steps taken very, very slowly. 

The sign for the shop is up when he arrives. ‘LAS BOTANICALS & POTIONS’ it reads. The name stops Scorpius in his tracks. Three letters, three owners. Lily, Scorpius, and then it clicks. And he knows, he fucking knows what the ‘a’ in the name stands for, and he knows he’s been played, probably by all of them. But it doesn’t matter. He committed; he made the move already. He was contracted into this because Lily Luna Potter crosses her t’s and dots all of her i’s. His hands curl into fists as he reads the sign repeatedly, looking for any other meaning in the name, but he knows her far too well. He knows all of them far too well. 

He knows Albus will be there when he steps into that store.

So he walks in. 

And there he is, standing behind the register in all of his glory. Every moment between the two of them hits Scorpius like a bullet. It had always been them, side by side. Two people but one soul. It had gotten more intimate, deeper when they were teenagers. First kisses and shared touches. Until Albus wanted more, and Scorpius said no. He remembers that day as if it were yesterday. They had been sleeping together for a few months at that point. Albus was making their plan for after graduation. He asked, already expecting the answer, if they were together and Scorpius had been so struck by it, scared of its commitment, the realness, his last name tarnishing Albus’ reputation, that he had said we are not together. 

He moved the day after graduation and hasn’t looked back since. 

Until now. 

“Did you know?” He asked, his gaze scanning over the man’s features. He was five years older, but he would always be Albus Potter. Scorpius would always know him in a crowd. “LAS,” He said, pointing at the signage inside of the store. “I assume it stands for Lily, Albus, and Scorpius?” He couldn’t tell by looking at him if he was in on it. The Albus he had known always wore his emotions on his face, but the man in front of him annoyedly remained neutral. “What did she do to get you to agree to this? From what I remember, these were subjects you had no interest or talent in school.” This wasn’t what I signed up for. He wanted to scream because he was scared and felt backed into a corner, all while Albus was eerily calm and collected. “Forget it,” Scorpius said with an air of defeat. “Tell your sister I don’t appreciate being deceived, and I’m backing out.” 

@magiclwritings

[wiypt-writes]

Rawhide

Chapter 13: Put On Your Red Shoes And Dance The Blues

Summay: It’s the clash of the titans as Hydra and Shield finally face off, but as Rumlow and Steve come to serious blows, you realise that the only way to end it all might be to sacrifice the thing you value the most…

Warnings: Descriptions of violence, angst, language…more angst…death…ooooh but who???

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction. I do not own any characters contained within, bar the reader and any other OCs that may be mentioned. I do not give consent for my work to be reposted/translated to any other site. Please comment, like and reblog.

W/C: 5.4k

A/N: So here it is, the penultimate chapter! Thanks to @spectre-posts for reading and adding in her thoughts...

Main Masterlist // Rawhide Masterlist Chapter 12

Rumlow blazed around the office he was in, kicking the chair over as he went. Langley, long used to his friend and leader’s temper tantrums, merely took a deep breath as he waited. 

“I will not have your Omega sister and her weakling pack get the better of me!”

“Look, if it wasn’t for Carter…”

“How the fuck did you not spot that she was a double agent?”

“Well, technically she was kind of a triple agent.” Bryce’s nostrils flared. “I mean, if she’d been Hydra pretending to be Shield, that would have made her the double agent, wouldn’t it? But she was Shield, pretending to be Hydra pretending to be Shield I mean…” He was cut off as Rumlow gripped him round the throat. Langley automatically landed a punch to the side of Rumlow’s face, and the man dropped him, recoiling from the blow a little. “Know your place, Brock…” he hissed, massaging his neck. “My family put you at the top of Hydra, remember that.”

Rumlow snarled before he sank down into the chair. “And we have no idea where they’ve gone?”

“If we did, you think we’d be here?” Bryce scoffed, “We’ve spent the last two weeks searching. Problem is, Shield have mobilised now they know that we’re gearing up for a fight. Up until your…experiment on my sister, they had no real proof. Now they do. Blue states up and down the country are taking up arms. Even those people that maybe hovered between accepting some of our views but not all of them are swinging to their side because they don't support another war. Montana is now basically impenetrable thanks to Odinson and Stark…”

“They won’t be in Montana, that’s too easy.” Rumlow shook his head. “Locking the state down…that’ll be a diversion.”

“I know that!” Bryce snorted.

“Boss?” 

Both men looked towards the door, where Rollins stood, an excited look on his face.

“What?”

“We might have a lead. One of our sources has seen two people, matching the description of Y/N and Rogers, in Bristol. Church Street Wharf to be exact.”

“Is it legit?” Rumlow demanded.

The guard nodded, “he’s a solid source, and what’s more so, he’s taken a recording on his phone so that we can verify it. He’s sending it through now.”

*****

The more you tried to pull your arm away from Steve, the stronger his grip was. The tears were now pouring down you face.

“Steve…let me go…”

“I can’t do that Omega, I need to keep you safe.”

“You can’t!” You sobbed, “I’m sorry, I love you, I really do but…Rumlow, that stuff he shot me with…”

“Was fake…” His voice was desperate, and you shook your head, sadly.

“I wish it was, but he did something to me…there’s something going on and all I know is I can’t fight the Omega part of me anymore…it’s wants him and it disgusts me! Why do you think I ran? Huh? I can’t trust myself!”

“Please, baby…” Steve’s face broke and a piece of your soul did too, and he released his hold on your wrist. “Just please, ‘Y/N get on the ferry… Banner is working on it as we speak, we can fix this. I know we can. We’ll go back until he figures out how to reverse whatever it is that it’s done. You don’t need to leave!”

“You know he ain’t gonna be able to,” you shook our head. “This is breaking my heart and it hurts so much because I love you…I know I do, but…it burns inside…every time you kiss me it really burns because my body is telling me I’m his now, and…”

“Don’t…don’t say that…our bond…” Steve’s eyes were full of tears.

“It’s fading…” you swallowed, hand pressing at the mark on your neck as you cast your eyes down, “don’t pretend you haven’t noticed…” At that your fingers moved your collar aside to show him. Steve studied the once prominent infinity bond on your skin, and he felt his chest ache and throat as he studied it. You were right, it did look a little lighter.

He took a deep breath, his voice cracking.  “Please… just please, come back. Give it a month, or a week. Let Banner try…”

“You have Hydra to…”

“Fuck Hydra!” Steve snapped, his hand running through his hair, before both his large palms covered his face. With a groan, he dragged his fingers back down through his beard and shook his head. “I don’t care about them, not anymore. I love you, I can’t live without you…you gotta give us a chance…”

“You know what the awful thing about all this is?” You whispered, wiping the tears from your face. “You haven’t once tried to Alpha Command me to do as you say.”

“I don’t want to…why-“

“And we both know why.” You smiled sadly, “you don’t want to because you’re scared it won’t work. Scared that I won’t answer to you anymore.” From the look on Steve’s face, you were right. You looked around, your arms hugging your chest, before you took a deep breath. “Fine, I’ll…I’ll come back..but…I can’t…I can’t promise…”

“I know…” His lips brushed your forehead, “but we gotta try, huh?”

You nodded, and looked at his hand as he held it out. Tentatively, you slipped your palm into his, fingers twining together. Steve pulled you into him a little, casting what he hoped was a surreptitious look around, before he led you back towards the ferry.

Neither of you noticed the man a few yards away, with his phone out, pointing the camera in your direction…

*******

As the video cut off, Rumlow scoffed. “Pathetic. He’s actually begging her…”

“Where does that Ferry go?” Bryce looked at Rollins.

“Prudence Island. Secluded enough for a safe house.”  He smirked.

There was a pause as Rumlow and Langley digested that news, before the latter broke the silence. “It could be a trap.”

“I don’t think so.” Rollins shook his head. “They were taking great pains to hide from the CCTV, if it hadn’t been for our guy being there, right place right time…”

“Rogers ain’t that smart.” Rumlow shook his head, “and it aint his style. He’s a soldier, like me. But he’s also persistently blinded by his need to do the right thing, the honourable thing, meaning he doesn’t always see the bigger picture.” His fingers drummed on the desk as he mused through his thoughts. “You know, I’ve been waiting for his Alpha Challenge for the past two weeks, fighting to defend his little Omega Whore’s honour, but it never came. And now we know why.” Rumlow then chuckled. “He’s had bigger issues, because the serum worked.”

“Looks that way…” Langley arched a brow.

“So there’s nothing to make us assume the Alpha one won’t.” Rollins cut in, and Rumlow pointed at him, nodding.

“Guess not.” Langley spoke again, his voice flat.

“What is the matter with you?” Rumlow looked at him.

“I don’t know, I’m just not sold…”

“More like you want to take the serum yourself, because you can’t stand the fact that soon you’ll have no chance against me in a fight.”  Rumlow rose from his seat as Bryce scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Well, neither will Rogers. I almost had him beat last time, and that was without the serum. If it hadn’t been for his guard dog… “ he trailed off and looked at Rollins. “Tell everyone to ready the lab…I want it doing this afternoon. In the meantime, get some of our troops out undercover, see if we can locate this safe house.” He moved out from behind the desk, stopping as he smirked once more. “Shouldn’t take too long, Prudence Island ain’t that big… “

******

“You think this plan is gonna work?” Clint asked from his vantage point in the tree that sat on the boundary of the property. 

“Not if you keep talking.” Bucky mumbled back. 

"Not for nothing, Steve's thrown it together quick and our girl in there seems a bit...."

“She’s nervous, wouldn’t you be?” Natasha spoke over the comms. “Stop talking and keep your focus. They could be anywhere.”

"Yes, ma'am, Widow ma'am." Clint snickered.

“Amateur.” She replied sardonically

Sam cut through, "knock it, we've got incoming."

Clint scanned the horizon, his sharp eyes licking up t hee movement of a vehicle. The headlights off. “I see it. Can’t tell if it’s  them…”

“Who else is it gonna be?” Bucky snarled.

“A lost civilian…” Clint replied.

“Quit stalling, light ‘em up Hawkeye.”

"With pleasure."

Clint reached for one of his arrows, clicking the small button on the side to arm it. He took aim, and let it fly. It landed perfectly, five foot or so in front of the vehicle, exploding upon impact with the ground.

The car swerved and came to an abrupt stop. Two men exited, armed and scanning the area.

“He he he,” Sam chuckled, “I love it when they do that.”

Clint selected another arrow, “let’s see if this gives them the message…”

This time, upon hitting the ground, it sent off loud crackles of gunfire. The two men were quick to duck and dive back into the car.

Bucky sent a round of ammo their way, watching as it pinged off the bonnet of the car as the driver put it hastily in reverse. It down round, and Bucky continued to shoot until it was out of sight.

“Well, that saw them off…” Sam stated.

“They’ll be back, that was just the scouting party.” Bucky sighed, “I’m gonna head up to the house. Natasha, Clint, any more trouble holler.”

"You got it," Nat replied, her comms giving a crackle as she did so.

Bucky made it back within ten minutes. Steve and yourself awaiting news. "Scouting party cracked through, I'm estimating we'll have about thirty before enforcers show."

Steve didn’t miss the spike of fear that shot through you, your hand instantly moving to your bond mark, but it stopped short of touching it.

Rather, you rested your fingers against your collarbone and tucked your other wrist under your bent elbow. "We should be ready. Rumlow will send everyone, then he'll follow. I don't doubt Bryce will be by his side. He's not the enforcement type."

"Well it's taken them longer than we anticipated." Steve looked at you then to Bucky. "How far out s Fury and the rest of back up? "

Bucky called it in, "Hill says ETA thirty."

"Steve..." You whispered.

"I know. But it's a fight we have to take."

You stood numb. You knew that Steve was right. Rumlow wouldn't stop at anything not until he had you. "Stick to the plan." Steve looked at Bucky then turned to you. “Please, stay hidden in the storm shelter. Banner will be there…”

Your breath shook as it left your lungs. "I..."

“Omega…”

“I’ll take her.” Bucky said, “c’mon, Doll…we don’t have much time.”

Your pleading eyes looking at Steve for a final chance, but he just stared. A snarl to his features. You steeled yourself and turned away, following Bucky out the back door.

*****

The sound of gun shots, the unmistaken yells and grunts of fighting rang out in the air in the grounds surrounding the safe house. Hydra had come, and come in numbers.

For the most, Shield held their own. Fury, Hill and Coulson directing their troops, as Steve commanded his. 

But he had one person on his mind, Rumlow. And so far, he was nowhere to be found.

Fury's team had wounded and casualties. Steve and his team, few scratches, close calls and oh there would be bruises. But it was no longer just a battle, this was an all out war. The open fields gave little cover. The tree lines smoked and burned.

Steve dispatched two agents easily, Bucky to his left as they charged through the ranks.

“Where the hell is he?” Steve yelled, “where is Rumlow?”

“I haven’t seen him…” Thor replied, swinging his arm as he took out three agents at once. Steve then raised his shield and sent it flying in an arc, the familiar whoosh and clang almost soothing to him as it flew back to his arm having ricochet off numerous soldiers.

"I'm getting a little tired of," he paused to throw his shield into the neck of a goon, "playing these games."

“Yeah, as far as games go I’ve played with better odds.” Tony’s voice cackled on the comms.

No sooner had Tony spoken, a loud rumble sounded and Steve instinctively looked up to see a large black and red helicopter approaching from the distance.

“Hydra?”

“It ain’t ours!” Fury yelled back.

"It's about time," Steve growled.

The Hydra troops seemed to pull back and part as the chopper circled. Fury and Hill yelled at their soldiers to fall in as Steve stood still, watching as it touched down in the middle of the field.

Steve's steel gaze stared as Rumlow exited the doors, fourth in line. Bryce preceded him as did two armed men. Sam's comms broke the deaf air.

"I got three more this way," he grunted as others piled out from the other side.

“I see them…” Steve muttered. His eyes then turned back to Rumlow.

There was a snide, almost prideful smirk on his face as he stared back at Steve.

“Where’s your little bitch?” His voice rang out across the battle lines.

Steve wasted zero time sending his shield in reply. He wasn't in the mood for talking.

Rumlow managed to grab one of the soldiers to his side, pushing him into the shields path. He gave a yell and a grunt as he fell to the floor, the shield bouncing back to Steve’s arm.

“Oh, okay…well, doesn’t really matter. Once I’ve killed you, she’ll be mine anyway. That is, if she isn’t already.”

At that Steve audibly scoffed. “What do you mean by that? Course she isn’t yours, she’s mine. We share a Soul Bond.”

Rumlow scoffed, “cut the shit, Rogers, we both know that’s a load of crap. Her mark is fading, I know all about it!”

Steve’s face visibly faltered, even if his stance didn’t.

“Guess that serum I injected her with worked better than I thought.” Rumlow continued to goad Steve. “But, how about we put the one I took to the rest, huh?”

Steve sent his Shield in Bucky's direction, the former soldier catching it quickly. He cracked his neck and his knuckles, "let's dance."

“He’s mine!” Rumlow yelled out, as he advanced, “kill the rest of them but leave him to me!”

The private protection spread out, leaving Rumlow alone; including Bryce.

“I’m gonna enjoy this,” Rumlow picked up the pace as the rest of the Hydra army also began to rush forward once more.

Like a clash of titans, the two came at one another. Steve made first contact, his right hook sending Rumlow a step or two back. Rumlow cracked his neck as he went in with a punch of his own. Steve was quick to duck, flying in with a left hander to Rumlow’s gut.

Rumlow bent forward and Steve's well padded knee met the Hydra head's nose. He dropped down to the decaying grass with a thud, his back finding no cushion. As Steve drew his hand back for another punch, Rumlow rolled to the side and the captains fist connected with the floor where seconds before, his opponents head had been.

It gave Brock the opportunity to get to his knees and wrap a forearm around Steve's neck. But with his fast reflexes, Steve flung Rumlow over him and onto his back again.

"I'm gonna fuckin' kill you, you son of a bitch."

Not even winded, Rumlow cackled and fixed a hooked knee over Steve and pulled his right arm through for an arm bar in defense.

With just a split-second of freedom before his arm was straightened, Steve grabbed onto his lapel with his trapped right arm. He slid his left elbow under Rumlow’s right leg and began shuffling his own legs around to the side. His hips under Rumlow’s foot, he began to twist and roll, eventually turning his entire body inwards which allows him to sneak his head out of the vice like grip. 

Rumlow lost his grip entirely on the Shield Captain and he flexed his back and popped right up. He dove at Steve's midsection but, his tackle failed and Steve was able to suplex him again to the ground.

"Serum's a fail, you fuck."

Rumlow laughed, “shows what you know.“

"I'm waiting."

Rumlow stood straight, grinning as he seemed to be weighing something up. And then, Steve saw the flash of a blade as it slid down the mans sleeve.

“So much for a fair fight…” Steve arched his brow.

“Fuck fair,” Rumlow gripped the blade in his right hand, “I came to win.”

Steve knew his hand to hand combat was already top game, but he knew how quick Hydra could train with a blade. But Steve did as Steve always did, and didn't back down. Instead, he stuck his arm out and extended his hand. He opened and closed his fist, inviting Rumlow to come at him again.

Rumlow slashed at the air in front of him, causing Steve to jump back. Again and again the blade swiped him, Steve dodging in what felt like some kind of perverse dance. Left, right, back, forward, twist…

But, a stray bullet hissing by caused Steve to dodge that ultimately setting himself up for a prick to his side from the blade. He hissed, jumped backwards, and as he did so he heard a yell to his right.

A familiar voice.

Despite himself, he turned and saw Natasha crumpled on the floor, blood pouring from a wound in her neck.

"Nat!"

He saw a whirl as Bucky flew past, diving at Langley who had administered the blow, taking him down in a tangle of limbs. The two men began to grapple, flashes of metal arched through the air, Bucky using Steve’s shield to deflect the blows from a now rabid Langley.

Steve stood, watching his friend for a split second, but it was a split second too long. It was the distraction Rumlow had needed, and before Steve had time to realise what was happening, he felt a searing pain in the back of his thigh.

Rumlow had taken advantage and plunged the blade into his leg.

Steve dropped to one knee, and then the blow to his face from Rumlow’s foot caused him to crumple backwards. “You know, that’s always been your weakness, Rogers. Your friends. Loyalty. You care too much. It’s the reason you could never be a ruler, never be as great as Hydra has made me.”

Steve spat the blood out of his mouth. He moved to get up when another blow hit him in the face. 

“You can’t see the bigger picture, can’t see that sometimes you gotta make sacrifices for the greater good…” Rumlow leered over him as Steve lay, the blood from his nose trickling down his throat.

Then he saw the blade as it moved in Rumlow’s hand. And the he gasped as the man’s knee pressed into the middle of his chest.

“Imma enjoy this…almost as much as I’m going to enjoy breaking in Y/N. My only regret is you won’t be there to see it.”

Steve swallowed, attempting to buck Rumlow off, but it was no good. His eyes tracked the blade as it moved towards his neck, and then your voice filled his head.

“I got you, Alpha…”

Before he could even scan the area for you, your shout rang out loud and clear.

“Enough…Brock! Enough…”

Rumlow's head snapped in your direction, distracted and amazed.

“Call them off.” You swallowed, “let Steve go and…you can have me.”

Steve's eyes went wide. "No!" He argued.

A sadistic laugh rumbled Brock's chest, "Oh, 'Mega, I'm gonna enjoy this."

A final harsh blow to the side of Steve’s head left him seeing stars as you felt the tears prick your eyes. Your gaze then flicked to Natasha. Bruce (who you’d arrived with) was now tending to her, attempting to stop the blood flow.

Everyone seemed to have stood still, Hydra and Shield alike. Bucky and Sam took the opportunity to head over to where Steve was laid, unmoving on the floor, whilst Pete, Tony, Thor and Clint all gathered round Natasha and Bruce, shielding them from any attack which may or may not be oncoming.

“Little Bird…” Thor began but you shook your head.

“This isn’t worth it…I’m not worth it.” You whispered, your eyes flicking from him, to Natasha who was thankfully conscious, and then to Steve. Steeling yourself, you took a deep breath, and looked at Rumlow as he advanced towards you. “You got what you wanted. Just call this off. Please.“

As he stood in front of you, his hand gripped your wrist painfully and his eyes studied your neck. “Well, well…not so infinite, huh…”

The way he pronounced the word, like it was something dirty, made you choke a little as you licked your lips. “Oh, it was…until you…you injected me. It’s been fading ever since. If it wasn’t for that, you wouldn’t have stood a chance. And you’ll always know that, no matter what you do to me. That you couldn’t ever have taken me, or defeated Steve, without that Serum. Because you simply weren’t strong enough.”

A stinging blow landed to your face and you heard a roar from Steve, who was now staggering to his feet. He swayed, as Bucky and Sam held him up.

“Rumlow…I’m…”

“You’ll what?” Brock laughed, “I have her, she’s here. Begging for me to take her and save you.”

Steve looked at you, and you blinked back the tears. “Steve…”

“Please don’t…” he whispered.

“Please don’t...” Rumlow mocked, “God, you really are fucking pathetic. That all you got, ‘please don’t’? You can’t even stop your Omega from sacrificing herself…” He looked down at you, then to Bryce, and finally to Steve. “I mean…one Alpha command from you would stop this but….oh, yeah, silly me…I forgot. Your bond…it’s worthless now.”

Rumlow yanked you closer towards him. Steve made a move, a snarl rippling from his chest but Bucky and Sam were quick to hold him back. They knew that they were beat, and Steve wouldn’t make it two steps towards you before being gunned down.

A hand gripped your hair and your head was yanked painfully to the side, exposing your mating gland and the faded gold infinity bond. Smirking, Rumlow’s  gaze on the defeated faction, his tongue fell from his mouth and laved up your neck.

You winced, your eyes filling with tears as they locked onto Steve’s face. His expression was sheer devastation.

“I’m sorry…” you whispered, those blue eyes you knew and loved were swimming with tears and you couldn’t look anymore.

With a sigh, you closed your own. And then, as Rumlow’s sharp teeth latched onto your neck skin, the sound of your beloved Alpha’s bellows of distress were the only thing you could focus on. You waited with your eyes screwed shut, every nerve in your body was on fire, the adrenaline coursing through your blood as you fought the instinct to scream.  You could hear nothing but your pulse thudding in your ears, Rumlow’s pants and groans of delight as he laved up the blood on your neck.

And then, you felt him pull back, a frown on his face.

“What’s the matter, Brock…” you whispered, as you opened your eyes, “don’t I taste good?”

For a moment, he merely blinked, and then he moved his hand, pulling the thin, flesh like strip from his mouth. “What the…”

“One of Erskine and Banner’s inventions.” You spoke softly, as he looked at the two puncture marks where his teeth had bitten into the curious item he now held in his palm. “Still in the prototype phase, doesn’t have a name yet but…oh, and speaking of Erskine… the serums were both fake. Shield switched them out before you raided the lab.”

You saw his gaze slide to your neck, and his features slid from puzzlement, to shock, to anger in a matter of seconds as he saw your Soul Bond was there, as bright and as vivid as it always had been.

“Gotcha,” you smirked.

****

24 Hours Ago…

After your little scene at the ferry port, you and Steve made your way back to the safe house. You followed your alpha to the door, where it was opened from the inside. Bucky, Sam and Clint waiting for the pair of you.

“Banner not here yet?” Steve asked as you headed in.

“No, he’s still putting the finishing touches to the, well whatever you wanna call it. As soon as he’s done then he’ll be on his way with Tony and Thor.” Sam informed.

“And he’s confident it’ll work.”

“It’s a potent neurotoxin.” Bucky nodded, “the only reason we’ve never used it before is because there’s no known antidote.”

Steve took a deep breath, “well, let’s just say I’m very glad Hydra didn’t get their hands on that…”

Client's eyes drew up, "how'd it go? Play the part?"

“Oscar worthy.” Steve smirked, and despite yourself you grinned.

“Think they’ll find this place?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, we made sure our vehicle was noticeable.” You nodded.

"Now, we wait." Bucky nodded.

As you waited, you went through your plan, over and over again. The first part was already in play. By pretending that the serum had worked, that you were feeling its effects and as such, your bond to Steve was fading, it would give Rumlow false confirmation that the Alpha serum would make him stronger. This, you hoped, would cause his arrogance to win out, have him mobilise and break cover, and more over leave him complacent on the battlefield.

Whilst Steve was still intent on ripping Rumlow’s head off, he had acquiesced and listened when you’d pleaded with him that you needed a plan B. And, after days of deliberation and plotting, that plan was finalised. Should Rumlow get the drop on Steve, then in you’d come, acting the part of the subservient Omega, all the time having a deadly poison concealed on your body. Concealed in plain sight, a small invisible pouch right over your mating gland. You knew Rumlow wouldn’t be able to stop himself from taunting Steve, that he’d try to bond you there and then, and when he did, his teeth would pierce the pouch, unleashing a fast acting, deadly neurotoxin, that would leave him dead in a matter of minutes.

Steve wasn’t completely happy about it, and you knew that he would do his absolute utmost to not even let it get to the point of needing to use you, but you also had no intention of letting any of your friends die. No matter what, you’d be walking onto that battle field and offering yourself up. Because, for some reason, you knew it had to be that way. You knew it had to be you.

A few hours post your return, Steve’s phone went and it was Natasha.

“They’re in the area, just picked two of their goons up. Following the route your car did.”

“Alright, hang back…” Steve took a deep breath. “Inform Parker and have him call me when they pass his watch point. Then we’ll know for sure they’re following the trail.“

"You got it, Cap," she said.

Steve sensed the smirk in her voice.

With a scoff he cut the call, then looked at Bucky and Sam.

“You know the plan. The scout party needs to escape, notify Rumlow they’ve located us.”

"Got it," Sam replied. Bucky merely nodded. 

Clint picked up his bow and smirked. "'Bout time."

“Wait for my signal. As soon as Parker calls I’ll let you know.”

"Yup," Clint followed Sam and Bucky out.

You eyed Steve with a look of major worry. "I hope this works.

“Well, if Mohammed can’t go to the mountain…” he shrugged, “I know it’ll work.”

“What makes you so sure?”

Steve looked at you, before he smiled softly and pressed his lips to yours. “It’s your plan.”

*****

“You fucking bitch…” Rumlow snarled. Those Omega skills you’d been honing with Nat kicked in as you saw the blow coming a split second before he went to make it. You ducked under his arm and twirled around, backing up quickly towards where Steve was stood. Rumlow advanced on you but only made it three or four steps before he stopped, his eyes widening, as he struggled to take in air.

He grasped at his neck, clawing at the collar of his uniform as his face was rapidly turning a puce colour.

“Pretty potent neurotoxin.” You stepped back towards him. “I estimate you’ve got about thirty seconds left.”

You watched as Brock fell to his knees, scratching at the skin on his neck, and you looked down at him, your eyes locked on his, relishing the fact that his pupils were now blown with fear.

“Wanna know the really, really funny thing about all this?” You looked at him. “When I came up with our little plan, it was Thor that had the most faith in it working. Because he’s always said that it would be Hydra’s inability to embrace things that you cannot understand, those which you simply refuse to believe that would eventually be your downfall. And here we are.” You smiled, “I bet you never in a million years would have believed that a lowly Omega could even dream of such a plan, let alone enact it like I did. And, to be honest, I probably wouldn’t have been able to had it not for those extra little abilities my Soul Bond seems to have given me. You know, such as shielding my mind and emotions from you. Had you done your research, give any sort of credence to the fact that this-“ you ran your fingers over your mark, “-might actually be what the myths and legends say, you might not be about to die.”

At that point, Rumlow began to foam at the mouth, his body convulsing as he lay back. Blood was trickling from his nose and his eyes, as he lay looking up at you, the veins in his neck and temple popping. A gurgling noise rose from his throat, before he suddenly stilled, his head lolling to one side. Unseeing eyes looked out of his head, around at the Hydra troops who stood motionless, looking down at their now dead leader.

It was as if time had stood still, no one moved, no one said a word, that was until you heard a familiar voice screeching at you. You wheeled on the spot sharply, as you saw Bryce raise his gun in your direction.

And then it all seemed to happen in slow motion, Steve’s shield arched through the air, knocking the gun from his hand, as Bucky, Sam and Tony ran forward. Whilst Fury barked orders, you watched as the three men surrounding Bryce pushed him to his knees.

“I’ve told Hill and Coulson to clean up.” Fury spoke, as you kept your eyes locked onto your brothers, eyes that were so like your fathers. “They’re beaten, they know they are. We can get the back to our camp and then contact the World Security Council. We’re going to need their help if we want to unite the states…”

“Hydra will never be beaten…” Bryce shrieked his voice almost hysterical, “cut off one head…”

“Shut up.” Sam groaned.

“He has a point.” Steve spoke, looking at Fury. “As long as Hydra have someone to rally around, someone spouting their bullshit cause, they’ll never be gone. And, as such, neither will Shield. We agreed, neither faction can survive. This blue vs red…it has to stop.”

“Then we get rid of him.” Bucky stated, “what was it Rumlow said, you have to make sacrifices for the greater good…”

“Buck, we can’t…”

“Can’t what? Kill him? I assure you, we totally can…”

A heated debate then broke out, the phrase war crime being uttered once or twice, all the time you kept your eyes locked on your brother.  In that split second, a hundred memories from your previous life flooded your mind. The cruelty you'd suffered at his hands, the pain and anguish you'd felt when he had killed your first Alpha.

As you saw Colin's face flash to the forefront of the metaphorical slide show, all you could see was the fear in his face as he told you to run, before he turned back to what he knew would be his certain death, to give you chance to escape.

With a slow movement, you reached out your right hand…

Moments later, a loud bang echoed around the field, causing the arguing party to jump. Bryce slumped to the floor, a perfect shot landed right between his eyes. You were aware of everyone staring at you as you tossed Natasha’s gun to the floor and took a deep breath, simply staring at your dead brother’s body.

“Fuck Hydra, and fuck him.”

**Chapter 14**

[holidaywishes]

Happy Halloween

Hate Sex Part 4

Requested: 🤷‍♀️

Summary: After a rather awkward date with Auston, the two of you decide it’s probably best to leave things alone; but Halloween brings you both back to bad habits.

Warning: smut, some fluff and a bit of angst

  Author’s Note: Yes, I’m back. To be honest, I should be writing a sample for my ghostwriting thing but I can’t bring myself to sit down and do it. As you can tell, I started this all the way back in October and kept coming back to it but I never felt like it was finished. I feel like the voice is a little different in this one, maybe less snarky? I don't know, it's just different. I personally don't know how much more I can add to this story but if people keep requesting chapters, I can write some -- maybe just tell me where you want it to go lol. This one is long AF but hopefully, it fulfills everyone’s craving though.

  masterlist

the other masterlist

xx

Auston’s P.O.V

  Hearing (Y/N) say that there could be something more than sex between the two of you was almost like having air back in your lungs. But now where did you stand with her?

  “Wait,” Morgan stuttered as he sat across from you, both waiting for your server to bring your meals to the table, “what exactly are you asking me to do?”

  “Tell me I’m allowed to ask her out…” you awkwardly scoffed

  “You’re both adults. You wanna ask her out? Ask her out. You don’t need my permission,” he said, allowing a smile to spread across your face, “but she’ll probably say no”

  “Wow. Thanks”

  “I’m not gonna lie to you, Matts,” he started, leaning his elbows on the table, “she’s really not your biggest fan. Even if the two of you have been hooking up”

  “Yeah but she said s—

  “She didn’t say anything,” he interrupted and you furrowed your brow in return, “not about starting anything. I just don’t want you getting your hopes up…”

  “So I’m just supposed to leave it, her, alone now?” you asked, hoping for a different answer

  “Ask her out,” he said, “but if she says no, yeah. Let the situation end because if you keep going with the whole fuck buddies thing, one or both of you are going to get hurt.” You bit the inside of your cheek as you took in his words. You knew he was right, you were too emotionally invested already but you thought she was too and the idea of possibly cutting that off wasn’t something you were looking forward to.

xx

  You weren’t sure what to do now. Knowing that Auston had said he wanted more and that you had said you felt something as well had become all-consuming; not that you knew what any of it meant. The two of you hadn’t really talked since that night in the bathroom and now things were getting tense amongst your shared friend group.

  “What would you do?” you asked your best friend during a lunch break, “if you were me?”

  “What would you want to do?” she returned

  “No no,” you scoffed, “don’t do that. I asked what you would do, I really wanna know”

  “It seems pretty clear to me,” she added easily, a smirk quickly appearing on her face, “you both said you have feelings for each other, so it seems clear that you should go for it”

  “That’s what you would do?”

  “That’s what I know you would do,” she urged, “if it was anyone else”

  “It’s just that things are so weird!” you said, exasperated, “I mean I legit hated him and I always thought he hated me, and he probably did, but now he’s saying he has feelings for me and I’m changing my mind? Is that really what’s happening?”

  “Apparently”

  “If anything happens, it would be a terrible idea”

  “I think the terrible idea already happened,” she teased, “whatever happens now is probably a pretty normal thing.”

  “I just don’t like making anyone uncomfortable,” you admitted, “Tessa is asking me questions because Morgan is asking her questions because Auston is asking him questions. Yet, we haven’t spoken since we had sex in the bathroom so…”

  “Why did you have sex in the bathroom?” she asked and you shook your head once before shrugging, “I just mean, you always said public sex was a no, that it would never be the thing you did”

  “And then I did it…” you added with a heavy sigh, “I don’t know. I mean, it really did just sorta happen and there was alcohol involved — I guess I just got caught up in it, in him, that I didn’t really think about where we were.” When she smiled at you with that terrible poker face she had, you furrowed your brow, “what?”

  “You don’t think that your answer just now deserves a second look?” she asked before telling you that she needed to go back to work. “I’ll talk to you later, okay? I love you”

  “Love you” you said as you hugged her back and went your own way. As you drove back to your office, you thought about everything your best friend said, searching for more clarity on everything you’d talked about but only wound up more confused than you started.

xx

Auston’s P.O.V

  You decided just to go for it. Ask out (Y/N) and see what happens. But things were different now. Aside from the fact that you hadn’t spoken to her in months, you were now starting to rethink whether or not she actually meant what she said — because, if she did, why hadn’t she reached out either? You shook your head at your own thought and forced yourself to pick up the phone anyway

  “Hello” (Y/N)’s voice sang from the other end of the phone

  “Hi” you said shyly

  “Auston?”

  “Yeah, uhm,” you replied, clearing your throat to waste time as you thought about what to say, “what are you doing?”

  “What? You called me…” she giggled, a giggle that you could picture the perfect smile with, “how did you even get my number? I’m pretty sure I never gave it to you. For obvious reasons…”

“Mo gave it to me,” you said, “and I just meant what are you doing right now? Are you busy?”

  “Depends…”

  “On?”

  “On what you want.” You smiled, rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly as you paced around your apartment

  “I want— would you like to go on a date with me?”

  “No” it was almost a whisper and you could tell she was caught off guard

  “I mean a real date. In public. Sex completely off the table, not even a thought for either of us”

  “Why?” she asked, “why now? After everything?”

  “Because,” you answered, finally taking a seat, “I know how I feel but I want to be able to get to know each other. I’m really not as bad as you think I am”

  “That sounds like something a narcissist would say”

  “I promise,” you smirked, “I’m not a narcissist. I’d love for you to call me on all my bullshit but, to be fair, you’ll have to learn about me first”

  “You’re serious?”

  “Yeah…” you scoffed. There was silence on the line for a while and you dropped your head as you awaited her polite refusal

  “One date” she finally said and you tried your best to contain your surprise

  “Really?”

  “One date and if it doesn’t go well, then we stop,” she continued, “stop everything. No random calls out of nowhere. No second dates because you want another chance to change my mind. No hookups in bathrooms or hotel rooms. Nothing. It all ends”

  “That’s no fun” you joked

  “That’s the point,” she said sternly, “and that’s the deal.” You chuckled a bit at her seriousness but let your shoulders relax

  “Okay,” you agreed, your smile now beaming, “so are you free tonight?”

xx

  The date was... awkward. It was as if Auston forgot how to interact with not only you but people in general and you couldn’t seem to make it any better. You honestly didn’t know how

  “This is a nice place” you said to fill the empty space

  “Thanks,” he replied, coughing on the sip of water he had taken, “I mean, it’s not mine obviously so I don’t mean ‘thanks,’ I just mean...” You raised your eyebrows as he stumbled over his words before taking a breath, “I’m glad you like it”

  “I’m a little confused...” you whispered, leaning in so only the two of you could hear, “why are we here?”

  “It’s a date..?” he replied hesitantly as if to say ‘did you not get that?’

  “No, I know,” you scoffed, “but why here? I mean... it’s nice. It’s fancy but I don’t know, it doesn’t really seem like you”

  “Aren’t I supposed to be this super arrogant jerk who likes only the best?” he chided and you grinned sarcastically

  “Yes,” you quipped, “but this place isn’t even that. It’s... too fancy for me, yet, not fancy enough for the person you think you are”

  “The person I think I am?”

  “Exactly”

  “What does that even mean? Either I’m arrogant or I’m not, you can’t decide it’s both”

  “I’m not deciding it’s anything, I’m saying this is how it is. You have this image of yourself, an inflated ego that people gave you, and it comes across in everything you do.” Your explanation left his face contorted into what seemed like permanent confusion, “you are not a god, Auston, you’re just a hockey player. Everyone has just made you believe that you’re more than that because... they felt like it. So, you became what they wanted and now you have no idea who you are”

  “You really can’t go an entire conversation without fighting with me can you?”

  “I’m just being honest with you, Auston,” you scoffed, leaning back in your seat, “maybe I thought you’d respect that”

  “Maybe it comes across as condescending” he added, his own scoff mimicking yours

  “Maybe you’re just too sensitive”

  “Maybe you’re meaner than you let people believe”

  “And what if I am?” you sneered, arms crossed as you stared across the table at Auston, one eyebrow raised slightly

  “Then you can’t really say I have no idea who I am when no one has any idea who you are” he replied. You scoffed in return before grabbing your purse and flagging down your server

  “Hi, sorry,” you said politely, a shy smile appearing on your lips, “can I just pay for my meal”

  “(Y/N)…” Auston sighed, “come on that’s ridiculous”

  “When you have a chance, I’ll just grab my bill”

  “So.. it’s separate?” the server asked and you nodded

  “No” Auston countered

  “Yes” you insisted, smiling at the server before sending him on his way

  “Seriously?” Auston scoffed once more

  “I don’t want to be indebted to you. This way I won’t owe you — for anything”

  “I can’t tell if this is mature or petty”

  “That sounds like a you problem.” The server came over with your bill just then and, luckily, he brought out the machine with him so you were able to tap your card and go. “Thank you,” you said to the young man who clearly thought this date was going better than it had, turning to dismiss yourself to Auston, “look, we gave it a try. But we made a deal — if the date didn’t go well, then that would be it. No more. So, thanks, I guess, for the terrible decisions I’ve made these last few years. It’s been a wild ride, but one I never should’ve gotten on”

  “Okay the metaphors are a little much” he said, grabbing your arm as gently as he could to stop you from leaving

  “Let go” you said gently

  “Stay”

  “Why?” you groaned, “to argue some more? To disagree over fundamental parts of each other's personalities? No, sorry, I don’t need that. It was… interesting knowing you Matthews. Catch you in another life.” You left the restaurant hastily, sighing to yourself at the idea of wasting your time before quickly smiling when you realized this meant you could get your life back to normal. Back to when Auston was just some over-hyped, narcissistic man-child who you never asked to have in your life in the first place.

xx

Five months later

  Morticia Addams was always a good choice. Last minute or first thought, alone or couples costume, it always garnered the right kind of attention. It was one of your favourite go-to costumes and you’d always worn it well; perfecting it over the years, of course.

  “Morticia again?” your cousin, Martha, scoffed when you came out in your floor-length, tight black dress

  “It’s a classic” you laughed before fitting your black wig onto your head

  “If I had known that you were going to wear it this much, I never would’ve dressed you up all those years ago”

  “You’re just mad that it works so well on me”

  “Are you ready?” she sighed as she rolled her eyes

  “Yeah,” you smirked, “just gotta put on some lipstick. Go meet me in the car.” Martha’s heels clacked on the hardwood floor as she made her way to the car and you paced around trying to make sure you had everything you needed before going to Tessa and Mo’s Halloween party. When your cousin pulled up in front of the house, you made sure everything on you was where it needed to be — no malfunctions tonight.

  “So wait…” Martha started, “do you think Auston will be in there?”

  “Probably,” you responded, moving your coat to the backseat, “he’s part of the team”

  “Have you talked to him since that date?”

  “Nope” you replied, popping the p as you fixed your lipstick and fell back in the seat

  “So after five months, you’re gonna see him,” she said and you nodded to yourself before turning your body to face her, “what’s that gonna be like?”

  “It’ll be fine. We both agreed to go our separate ways and there shouldn’t be an issue with both of us being there,” you admitted, “we’re just going back to how our lives were before all the bad decisions.” She smirked and shook her head, pushing the car door open and walked to your side of the car

  “Alright,” Martha sighed as you got out of the car and headed toward the house. You spent the first hour grabbing a drink, talking with a few people you knew and meeting a few you didn’t before finally finding Mo

  “Happy Halloween!” he greeted, stretching out his arms and his Dracula cape

  “Happy Halloween!” you returned with a smile

  “Morticia?” Tessa asked as she handed you another drink as she approached the group

  “Yep!” you said happily before noticing her smirk at Morgan who shyly took a sip of his own drink, “what?”

  “Nothing,” Tessa smirked, “you look great.” You weren’t sure what was going on but she wasn’t telling you something. You decided not to let it get to you in order to enjoy the rest of the party; that’s when you saw him.

  “Of fucking course” you whispered to yourself when you noticed Auston in his Gomez Addams costume

  “You guys knew about this, didn’t you?” Martha asked Tessa and Mo with a small laugh

  “Oh yeah” Mo replied

  “I mean,” Tessa corrected, “we knew about his costume, not about hers. It really was all a happy coincidence.” Overhearing Tessa, Mo and Martha made you roll your eyes as Auston made his way to your group, finally stopping softly in front of you. He stood silently for a moment before outstretching his hand to you, grabbing yours to continue the coincidence; this was not a couples costume but he seemed to have everyone else fooled

  “Cara Mia” he smirked before kissing the back of your hand

  “Well isn’t this a… strange coincidence” you scoffed

  “Or it’s fate” he teased, leading you to shake your head and walk away toward the kitchen. “Oh come on,” he groaned as he followed you inside, “why not just play along?”

  “Because,” you replied as you poured yourself another drink, “we agreed to go back to normal life. Normal life didn’t include us playing along with anything.” When the music changed to a slowed-down version of the Addams family theme, courtesy of Martha and Tessa, the group around you and Auston began encouraging you two to dance.

  “What’dya say?” Auston said softly, his palm open toward you and the chanting began to get louder, the peer pressure setting in; you groaned and took his hand with a glare. As he placed his palm flat on the small of your back, you corrected the train of your dress from where it had wrapped around your own legs.

  “I’m doing this so I don’t get shunned,” you chided, “not because I want to”

  “We’re back to that, are we?”

  “We never really left it”

  “Yeah, well...” he paused, leaning in to whisper in your ear, “you look stunning tonight”

  “I know” you whispered back, hoping he didn’t hear the blush you were trying to hide. Your bodies moved together seamlessly and you forgot how terrible that date was for a second, only to be brought back to reality when he moved his hand just an inch down onto your ass and you pushed him away; promptly ending the dance. You walked quickly past him so you could get back to your cousin and enjoy the rest of the party, doing your best to ignore Auston... yet again.

xx

Auston’s P.O.V

You were happy you decided to go as Gomez Addams tonight, if for no other reason than (Y/N) as Morticia. She looked beautiful and bringing her out into the middle of the room for a dance made you flashback to the moments that made you fall for her and when she walked away, you couldn’t help but follow her; even though you knew you shouldn’t.

“Stop” you whined as you ran after her, reaching out to grab her arm but not before she could run up the stairs

“Auston, go back downstairs,” she said, “back to the party. I’m just looking for a bathroom”

“You’re sure you’re not just ignoring me?”

“Can’t I do both?” she smiled sarcastically and you scoffed to yourself. Her pacing between closed doors to find a bathroom proved fruitless and she was soon brought back to you. “You can’t seriously still be trying to do something…” she scoffed, “it’s been five months and that date was a disaster”

“That’s very true. It was a disaster,” you admitted, moving one step closer to her, “and, yet, I haven’t stopped thinking about you once”

“That’s your problem, not mine. I told you that if the date didn’t go well, we’d go back to being nothing to each other”

“Is that really what you want?”

“Are you trying to coerce me into backtracking?” you took a step back in surprise at her words

“What? No, of course not”

“It sounds like you are”

“Well I’m not”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Jesus (Y/N)!” you groaned, exasperated, and threw up your hands, “why can’t you admit that you felt something during that dance?”

“Because it was just a dance!”

“Why can’t you admit that you had feelings for me?”

“I didn’t. I felt… something. But they weren’t feelings for you. It was all lust. Everything between us has been just sex and you know it”

“BULLSHIT!”

“Keep your voice down!” she yelled in a whisper as she pulled you into a nearby room, “my god, you’re so dramatic”

“You’re lying to yourself if you think it’s all been sex”

“Auston, we haven’t seen or talked to each other in five months! I think that makes it pretty clear”

“I don’t,” he said, “I wanted you to stay but you left so I gave you your space”

“Because you thought you were too good that I wouldn't just break and call you?” you groaned and rolled your eyes

“Because I knew there was something there, that we had something, but I wasn’t gonna force it.” You admitted and you hoped she could hear the softness in your tone, “and yeah, sure, I guess I thought you’d realize that too.” You could tell she was hesitant but, once again, the two of you moved together like magnets. You set your hands on her hips, staying there while she stared up at you, a look so intense that you gulped in return.

xx

“Fuck,” you thought to yourself, before feeling his hands slowly climb your body until they cupped your face and, unintentionally, left you breathless. He leaned down with a smirk before kissing your forehead first as if to build the tension and your hands instinctively fell on his waist. When his lips finally met yours, you stepped into him and it wasn’t long until his hands were roaming your body, the kiss intensifying to the point of heavy breathing. “Wait,” you broke the kiss harshly and turned away from him, “we can’t keep doing this. This is dumb. This is bad. Toxic.”

“You’re toxic, I’m slipping under” he teasingly sang as walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist

“I’m serious” you whispered, feeling his hands move up your body until they cupped your breasts and pulled your body into him, earning a moan from you. His teeth grazed your neck as he placed kisses from your ear to your collarbone, his hands still firmly holding your breasts

“You look so fucking good right now,” he said breathlessly into your ear, your hands now finally raising to lay on top of his while your head dropped back onto his shoulder

“Fuck” you moaned, moving one hand to the back of his neck as he massaged your breasts. You finally turned back around, hastily removing his clothes with lips intertwined. Your dress wasn’t as easy to remove, being so tight, so Auston had to pull away from the kiss again to find the zipper on the side of your dress and let the fabric fall to the floor. He lifted you up and brought you to the bed, placing you on the edge so he could remove his pants. You pushed yourself back onto the pillows and Auston climbed on top of you shortly after, pulling him down to push your bodies together as his lips crashed into yours.

“Are you okay?” Auston asked suddenly, making you furrow your brow, “I just mean, should we keep going?”

“Yes,” you smiled, twirling your fingers in his hair as he kissed your neck. You hadn’t noticed his hand move down your body until he slid his fingers into your underwear, his calloused fingers moving up and down your folds. When Auston slid his long middle finger into you, you dug your nails into his shoulders and bit your lip to hold back the volume that would surely come out.

“The music’s loud,” he whispered, “you can be loud”

“Someone will still hear,” you said breathlessly, a small moan escaping your lips finally, “fuck”

“Come on,” he urged, planting kisses on the backs of your hands that clutches his shoulders, “be loud. You’re so wet, I wanna hear you scream my name.”

“You always do,” you breathed, “oh my god”

“Scream,” he said and you caught his smirk when you looked down, shaking your head before letting it fall back on the pillow. “Scream” he repeated

“You sound like a serial killer” you laughed, placing your hand on his cheek, bringing his face to yours and planting a kiss on his lips, his fingers working faster to bring you to your high. Your legs began to shake as he put a little bit of pressure on your clit, leading you to bite his lip in pleasure

“Cum, baby”

“Don’t call me baby”

“Cum” he repeated firmly. You continued the kiss, grabbing his hair so tight that you were sure you were going to tear a chunk out. He broke the kiss one last time, biting your collarbone and kissing the inside of your wrist before whispering one more time, “cum.” Something inside you unlocked and you moaned loudly as your body arched into him and your climax consumed you. “There she is” he smirked

“Shut up” you scoffed as Auston rolled onto his back, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and settling in. “What are you doing?” you asked

“What do you mean?”

“This isn’t what this is” you sighed, adjusting your head on his arm before gesturing to where it lay behind you

“Just taking a break…” he scoffed, forcing you to look up at him and furrow your brow, “that okay with you?” You shook your head, deciding to climb on top of him

“Just… shh” you whispered, Auston’s thighs tightening under you while his arms stayed behind his head. His eyes boring into yours as you began to ride him slowly

“Fuck” he breathed, moving one hand from behind his head to explore your chest, fingers trailing from collarbone to breast to nipple. You moaned quietly, hands resting on his chest as you kept your movements slow, feeling Auston’s breathing increase as he took his other hand from behind his head and placed it on your waist; squeezing your side as you moved up and down his length. You began to pant as you rode him, slightly faster now, letting your head fall back as you took in the pleasure you were feeling.

“Fuck” you moaned through heavy breaths and Auston rose up, bringing his chest to yours, halting your breath in your chest as your breasts were pressed against his body; hands gripping your sides intensely. The only thing going through your mind, when something could get past how close you were to your climax again, was how wrong this was. Knowing how terrible the two of you would be as a couple after that date, how he could so easily use someone to make you jealous, the way neither of you tried to make anything healthier if you really wanted to make something work. Because, damn, the sex was good. You brought his lips close to yours, planning on muffling your moans with a kiss when Auston grabbed your hips and kept himself deep inside of you, leaving you nearly shaking at the sensation.

“Don't” he breathed against your lips, making you furrow your brow in confusion as you rocked desperately against his hips; was he seriously telling you not to cum? “Don't say this is the last time”

“What?”

“You always say that this is the last time,” he sighed, hands still on your hips, keeping you in place, “that we can't keep doing this, but then we always end up here. Like this. Doing this...” he kissed your collarbone as you rode him slowly

“You know it's true”

“That doesn't matter”

“Yes it does” you scoffed

“Why do we keep ending up like this then? Naked and moaning in a dark room together?” With one strong thrust, you let out a small whimper and your legs went limp; you slid off his lap to lay on your back as you caught your breath

“Everyone makes a string of bad decisions in their 20s. I'm getting it out of my system”

“Oh is that what this is? Why didn't you say so?” he scoffed, jumping out of the bed to start getting dressed again, “I never would've taken you on that awful date if I knew that's all this was”

“Don't be a baby” you groaned

“You're stringing me along”

“What?!”

“You agr--”

“Do. Not!” you growled as you interrupted him, finally getting out of bed, and taking the top sheet with you to wrap around your body, “I never said that we should be something. I said that this was always a bad idea but for some reason, I couldn't stop myself from doing it”

“And then you said that you were feeling something!”

“Because I thought I was!” you yelled, dropping your head to your hands, “I was wrong. It was the post-sex high I guess. We're not the people who end up together. We fight, we fuck and we go our separate ways. That's it”

“It doesn't have to be...” he practically whined, “I mean if we just tried”

“What is it you like about me?” you asked before leaning down to grab your clothes from where they were strewn on the floor, “tell me honestly because I'm genuinely curious”

“You're smart,” he started, “you're... passionate, fiery, and infuriating but beautiful in spite of it”

“In spite of it?” you scoffed, hastily pulling up your underwear under the sheet and turning your back to him to put on your bra as the fabric fell to the ground, leaving you feeling more exposed than you thought it would. “Real charming,” you finally said, an eye-roll pairing with the harsh tone of voice you gave, “that's really what I would want my partner to think of me. That I'm beautiful in spite of everything else about me. As if that mattered the most”

“That's not what I said” he scoffed right back at you

“Oh but it is”

“No it's not!” he raised his voice slightly, putting on the last bit of his costume before approaching you once more, “I said you can be infuriating because you can be, just like you are now, but that I don't care because-”

“Because I'm beautiful” you sarcastically smiled, arms crossed over your still nearly naked body

“Fine, yeah, that's what I said,” he conceded, “but what's wrong with me thinking you're beautiful? And did you miss that I said you're smart and passionate?”

“No,” you said, stance firm in disobedience, “but it doesn't mean anything. Not once you mentioned how I looked”

“Why?” he asked and you could tell he was honestly curious. As if he was a student learning something new for the first time; like he'd never known that there could be something wrong with complimenting a girl on her appearance. You furrowed your brow, softly, as you thought about your words

“Because it negates everything that you said before it. I can be beautiful to you, sure, that's great. Thank you,” you explained, as politely as you could muster, “but if it's following that I'm smart and I'm passionate and I'm strong and I'm brave, for me, it's as if you're saying it's amazing that someone who is all those things is also beautiful. Like they're mutually exclusive. One or the other.”

“Okay...” he started, scrunching his eyebrows together in clear confusion as he sat down at the foot of the bed, “but if I don't say you're beautiful then you'll be offended. There's no winning!”

“Relax,” you teased, “look, maybe there's a girl who feels differently than I do. Maybe she wants to be told she's beautiful and maybe that's all that matters to her. But I would much rather hear someone say 'You're beautiful but I care more about your mind and your heart than your body.'” Your voice was softer now, you felt a sudden need to nurture this man who'd pretended to be so macho this whole time. You moved toward him until you were standing in front of him, placing the palm of your hand on his cheek, “I've spent too much of my life worrying about how people think of me based on how they look at me. I'm tired of being pretty or not pretty enough to someone and I don't want to be with someone who is still caught up in 'appearances matter.' Does that make sense?”

“Yes,” he said clearly, deep brown eyes piercing right through to your soul and you could feel yourself being pulled in again, “I'm sorry. I just... I want you to know how amazing I think you are and how amazing we could be if we decided to give us a shot”

“Auston...” you sighed, finally sitting down next to him, “Passion, desire, comes from a lot of different places but ours came from hate. It made the sex great, amazing even, but it's not like that means we're on track to start a relationship. I mean you don't really believe that, do you?”

“I mean, I could,” he admitted and you tilted your head, “I've grown legit- legitimate feelings for you,” he corrected his abbreviated word in what you considered to be his way of sounding more mature. “You can't argue with me on that because you're not me”

“You can see how this wouldn't work though, can't you?” you tried, hoping to somehow, someway, get through to him. Knowing that the two of you could easily end up in the same place another five months from now but that you would always leave feeling the same way -- like you were purposely running toward red flags because it meant you didn't have to commit to anything real.

“Maybe,” he sighed, rubbing his face harshly before dropping his elbows on his knees and looking straight ahead at the door, “but I also know what I'm feeling and I think we'd be stupid to ignore that you're feeling something too.” You took a deep breath, annoyed at the loop you'd found yourself in, and stood up to find your black dress strewn on the floor. Stepping in and shimmying into it slowly so as to not rip the zipper - a very real fear at this point in the night.

“Help me with this, won't you?” you asked, referring to the zipper that you could clearly do up on your own but you knew it would force you to feel his breath on your skin. Auston finished zipping your dress and placed his hands on your hips for a moment before kissing your temple

“I've never met anyone like you before,” he whispered and you turned your head slightly toward him, “I don't want to lose you.” You stood there for a minute, facing forward, Auston's hands on your hips, his chest against your back and his breath cascading down your neck. You took a minute to embrace the moment and appreciate how solid he felt behind you, scanning your mind desperately to find the same... hope he seemed to have about you with him. You fell back against his chest, a motion you'd done before when you needed to feel reassured; his steady heartbeat let the once chaotic mood in the room settle almost instantly.

“I wish I knew what to say here...” you admitted, finally turning to face him, your eyes slowly scanning his body up until his caught yours

“Say that you don’t wanna lose me either” he leaned down a little, fingers grazing your arms slowly

“I want…” you hesitated, turning away from his kiss at the last minute, “something normal. Something easy, uncomplicated,” you said simply, looking away from his eyes only long enough to watch your palms flatten on his chest. “I don’t think that’s with you.” His eyes searched yours and all you could do was give him a look of sympathy, knowing that’s not what he wanted to hear

“So I guess that’s it…” he huffed, backing away and you nodded, “or just until next time? Yet again?” You took a step toward him, feeling the train of your dress drag on the floor before you stopped in front of him, holding his hand in yours as you kissed his cheek. Whether it was the end or not, you couldn’t be sure, time had proven that you weren’t as strong as you thought you were, but right now, at this moment, you knew it had to be goodbye. You let go of his hand and turned to walk toward the door, looking back at him once you stood in the open frame, his stillness telling everything you needed to know.

You weren’t used to seeing him this vulnerable, even in times when you wished he would be, and you hated that you knew how much this was going to hurt him.

[endlessthxxghts]

Can I please request a vibey 🖼️ ?

And because im greedy 🤭 can I give you a 📝:

“Sundays aren’t meant for working”

And as I share your love of coffee; im a Pedro style strong as fuck, caffeine instead of blood gal 😆 here’s Peña drinking his.

Also as you’re being so generous in your asks: fun random fact: during both of my pregnancies I didn’t have any weird cravings etc…I did however find the smell and taste of coffee utterly repulsive; literally made me 🤢 weirdest thing in my life! And went when I gave birth. Thank fuck.

HEYYY BAYBEEEE 🩶 SAVING THE BEST N LOADED ONE FOR LAST ILYSM YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMAN (everything under the cut🙂‍↕️)

Javier fucking Peña is so fine, I want him to spit that battery acid into my fucking mouth. Dear- Lord- 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 ANYWAY-

First, here’s your moodboard hehe! You give me someone who’s so loving, so full of life and light in the most fun way, and I’ve always just associated pink with you!!! Like not entirely that pale/baby pink, but the darker, magenta kind of vibe that’s vibrant!! And also i can’t help but think you smell so good LMAOOO i don’t know what it is. You just give the vibe of someone who always smells so nice no matter what. also…. you give me FREAKY KINKY VIBES HEHEHEHEH. And from one freaky kinky b*tch (respectfully) to another… I KNOW ONE WHEN I SEE ONE!! MUCH MUCH LOVE TO YOU🫶

Second… I feel like you know where I’m going with that prompt. Joel Miller. He takes on a job on Sunday. He doesn’t usually, but he does this time around. So you spend the morning being the world’s worst menace… to you making him his morning coffee in only his shirt, to the way you let your kisses linger so much longer than you should for someone who’s about to go to work… God. He’s late because of you, and Tommy (if this is pre-outbreak) gives him shit because Joel didn’t realize you left a hickey on his neck, and of course Tommy knows a fresh one when he sees one… Joel calls you on his lunch, and he scolds you for leaving a mark, and you can’t help but tell him… Yeah, well, what did you expect? Sundays aren’t meant for working, baby. (AHHHHHH WAIT I THINK I ACTUALLY WANNA WRITE THIS !!?!?!!!?)

Third, I am also a Pedro style caffeine drinker!!! Although I do love my sweet drinks, I will always fall back to my americanos or straight up espresso shots on ice. It’s a drug. And I’ll never quit. 🤭🤭🤭 and omg??! I’m so sorry that happened during your pregnancies??? I would CRY omfg how did you go about your days knowing you couldn’t even stand it??😭 Did your husband still drink coffee around you? HAHAHA. This was my sister in law, but with garlic!! She legit puked on some days because my brother (her husband) would merely open the fridge and she could smell the garlic from her bedroom—door completely closed—and she would puke. The body is so crazy, yet so fascinating. Thank you so much for sharing this with me omg!!! I love hearing things like this!!!🥹🥹

All my love🩶🩶🩶

[rottentiger-art]

I hope you don’t mind me, but I’m inspired to organize the whole anon asks regarding PCA into one and adding some stuff. Here’s basically my take of what I think happened:

Pacific Coast Academy was actually accredited by the Department of Education of California. Originally, it was an all-boy’s school until that changed when girls where allowed. Thus, becoming a coed boarding school. The last dean, Charles Rivers, goes through a hard time in his personal life and borrows some money from the school, swearing to himself that he’ll pay it back. Then, him borrowing money repeats again and again.

The school board starts noticing inconstancies in the school finances and an investigation is done, which reveals that the school is basically near bankruptcy. The media somehow catches wind of it and has a field day, twisting things for their own purposes. There’s uproar and backlash from the public. Then, the rumors start floating around that PCA is a diploma mill. There are even pictures from events that happened at PCA that are taken out of context to explain why PCA is a scam. Some parents who have their children in the school get worried about this and make the decision to start pulling their children from the school.

The media, the public backlash and parents pulling their children from PCA leads to the downfall of the school. It has no choice but to close its doors. 15 years later, everyone still believes that PCA was a diploma mill and let teenagers loose in the campus. None of the students do anything to dismiss the rumors, because no one believes them when they tell the truth.

Fast forward a little to after Logan and Quinn’s marriage. Logan buys the PCA campus out of impulse, then gives it to Quinn as a wedding gift. Quinn just sighs at her husband, asking what was his intention in buying it and he’s like, we rebuild PCA back to its former glory…? Quinn doesn’t think it’s a bad idea, so she runs with it and pulls a few strings here and there from people she knows in the science field, talking about how she’d like a STEM curriculum for her new school. People are on board with her idea, because, duh, Dr. Quinn Pensky is like a big deal and she’s legit so, of course, the new PCA campus won’t go to hell like the last one.

Long story short, Quinn works from the ground up to make sure that PCA is up to standards, hiring qualified people, making sure to do background checks, etcetera. When everything looks good, Quinn steps back and lets the people she hired take over, only making sure that they come to her for funding and such. Logan gets involved and talks the staff into setting up a scholarship for talented students who can’t afford PCA and proposes that it’d be called the Pensky Scholarship.

And when it’s time to inaugurate the new and improve PCA campus, Logan and Quinn are there to cut the ribbon. Both are known as the patrons of the PCA campus.

If one Stacy Del Figalo causes a storm over her investigation over what truly happened on the old PCA campus, then that’s another story. The End.

This was so good, so sorry it took me a while to answer it. But I loved it. You did a great job at putting it all together and honestly, I'd 100% read a fic like that.

Some things I'd like to add to this AU. Mostly headcanons.

I really want their friends to get involved on this AU too, damn, even Zoey. Like I said, I think Chase being a teacher shouldn't go to waste, I'd like to see him teaching at PCA.

I definitely need Lola to appear, in whatever way she could help. I doubt she would take on a teaching role, but I'd like for her to be an inversionist (bc I refuse to believe she's not a famous and successful actress now). Maybe even make special appearances at the school, support and help build the Drama Class (idk the name). I bet the theater kids would freak out about her.

Same thing for Michael, I'd like for him to be an investor and be involved in the music department. As a producer he must know a lot of artist and the kind. Maybe he recommends a some people to take on the teaching role there (a failed artist that desperately needed a job could be a fun character lol)

I really don't think Zoey would leave her job as a producer, but let's pretend: I think Zoey would work as an Art Teacher, since that was more her thing than being a producer. And/or a temporary dorm advisor, until the school is fully staffed (I'd be funny to see her take on the role Coco had, specially considering she kinda acted like her on the movie)

Lola and Michael could do the same too, take temporary roles, if their schedule lets them.

idk what Stacey and Mark would be doing tbh, I'll leave that to anyone else who wants to add lol

probably still chasing the Malibu murderer.

now, about Quogan:

I really want a pregnancy plot to emerge at some point during this AU, and it motivates them to create the school they want their future children to go one day.

So maybe they were kinda like "what do we do with this place now?" but when they found out they're pregnant they got motivated af and emotional about it.

Obviously, Logan wouldn't let Quinn overwork herself and Quinn would keep Logan at bay so he didn't go overboard like he did with the wedding. Tho I assume by then he had learned his lesson, I'm gonna give him credit.

I like to think being able to work together, having a project of their own, specially while expecting, brought them closer (if that's possible). Like all the process was stressful at times and there probably were some disagreement/fights, but overall, it was an enjoyable time, precious memories to recall later one.

I also just love the idea of Quogan working as a team.

I did have the hc that Logan restored and engraved their bench, I'd like to see this on this AU too, I always loved engraved and dedicated benches (@honeyflower15 wrote something similar on their story "Quogan at PCA", fully recommend that fic, it's my s5 now)

PCA now would also be adapted to modern times, equipped with TEKMATE technology, I'm sure.

Maybe they both go a little over the top there, adding stuff they wished the school had when they were younger and maybe exaggerating the vision :p

Imagine, they keep a journal together, documenting their journey of building and transforming PCA. They write down their memories, challenges, and triumphs, creating a beautiful story that they can share with their future children with photos and all *sobs*

I'd like to see Lyric get involved too! omg I can see her invite herself on the project, maybe trying to convince Quinn and Logan to hire her as a musical teacher/art teacher or smth and throw a fit those jobs are occupied and Logan finding something else for her to do XD

For the inauguration day, Logan and Quinn cut the ribbon together, it'd be so cute, Quinn holding the scissors and him behind her, placing his hands over hers, ahhhh

I imagine their speeches are like, heartfelt, emotional, they would talk about their own experience at PCA (in general) and how they hope this new generation [camera dramatically pans out to their baby/toddler (who I assume it's already born bc school building and organizing takes a loooot of time) in the arms of their aunty Lyric] has the same experiences as they did. And obviously promises of not letting PCA fall again like it did and keep everything in check.

the order of the speeches go like this on my head: first Zoey (bc, of course), Chase, Michael, Lola, Logan and then Quinn. Or maybe Logan and Quinn gave the speech together.

There would probably be stands to showcast the different subjects that would be teached at PCA, for the science, chemistry, engendering and all that stands I think Quinn would had given the opportunity to some interns of her to organize those (she paid them, of course)

Quinn's success (as well as Michael, Lola, Zoey and Logan's) would definitely drive parents to trust this new PCA, wanting their children to reach that level one day. So, it'd give them good publicity or smth.

I feel like Zoey would offer to give the Facility Tour, idk why.

Lola and Michael would handle the performances and demonstrations. I assume because of their fame, there were a lot of willing participants and aspiring students that took the chance to perform under their guidance.

Quinn and Chase would deal with the Parent and Students Orientation. Quinn would deal mostly with the Q&As, since she's more informed about the School's insight, administration, etc. Chase would offer his insight as one of the Teachers and all that, telling them of his teaching methods and stuffs.

Logan would have organized the Celebratory Gathering (yes, I had to look up what a school inauguration day looks like shhh)

I promise, he learned his lesson, not over the top celebration this time. But he definitely left them impressed.

I imagine a cute moment at the end, where when the day is done and the guest and parents have left already (I'm assuming the Inauguration Day is a day before the first day of School, so the new students must be settling in their dorms and going to bed by then and classes would start the next day, idk), and Logan and Quinn are sitting on their bench, with their kid in arms, sleeping, just quietly enjoying the moment, satisfied with how they day turned out like and just so happy *sobs, an exaggerated amount*

Like, such a cute picture, they're sitting on the same bech where they shared their first kiss, on the place they met, now with a kid of their own, happily married and having rebuild their school, allowing other children to have what they did *sobbing but like so fucking much omg*

I suppose Zoey and Chase would be having a little moment somewhere too, but wgaf about them.

and an extra headcanon: their bench becomes like a urban legend now, some school lore idk, where there's the rumor that If you kiss on that bench, a timeless bond will be sealed, and your love will endure for eternity. Or some corny shit like that, idk. It has to be a first kiss tho.

Okay, that's all I got for now. Still don't know who they'd hire as dean, but definitely someone trustworthy, not just anyone, like you said, Quinn would have ran a bg check. There's much more to add and I invite anyone to keep contributing to this lovely AU.

And thank you again, anon. I loved what you did!

[theflagscene]

Growing up is realizing how toxic TharnType was.. like really

🤭🤭🤭 Ngl, when I got this message a couple days ago I legit giggled. I was not expecting it, and it took me a second to figure out where it came from until I remembered my answer for day eleven of the 15 Day BL Challenge. Then the Booping happened and the next day I was at the hospital with my dad all day because he was going in for heart surgery—it went well btw—so I just got around to replying to this today. I apologize for that my dear anon 💕

I felt kind of lucky because I came into TharnType when the second season was about to air, so I had heard of some spoilers about the first season, plus I had seen Love By Chance multiple times so I was familiar with Type and some of the other side characters—Techo, Tum, Tar, Kengkla, Technic, etc.

I legit gave Mame a pass when watching LBC, not everyone’s first novel is great and the screenplay did what it could, ya know? But as time went on, as a queer person I started to get the sense that she was one of those rare hetero writers that actually do kind of fetishize gay men, which I really didn’t want to think was still happening in—at the time—2019.

But after I watched both TharnType seasons, and LBC and DSN, all of which have interconnected storylines and characters, I couldn’t help but not think that. Which is why by 2021, I sort of stopped giving her the benefit of the doubt as a writer even though I desperately wanted her to do better, so much better. And to be fair, Wedding Plan and Love Sea were both okay, I think those have been her least offensive scripts to date.

But getting back to TharnType lore, I remember actually writing up a ‘problematic trope’ list in my notes app whilst watching the series and oh boy, it’s a doozy! Let’s break it down, for anyone who (somehow) has not sat through the trash fire that was the highest heat BLs of 2019/2020 and the various storylines that tie back to TharnType that span four different series.

Heavy trigger warning for under the cut: SA/r*pe/DV/ped*phila/blackmail/ab*se/stalking/in*est/predatory behaviour/emotional manipulation and ironically enough, homophobia.

Right off the bat, the first thing in the very first episode was the comparison of gay men to pedophiles. Type was 100% allowed his trauma from what happened to him, but if Mame had done even an ounce of investigation into actual statistics, she’d know that pedophiles typically don’t identify as any type of sexuality outside of being attracted to underage people, that is their sexual preference. So no, a man assaulting a boy does not make him gay, it makes him a pedophile, full stop.

Violent homophobia: Not just outright blatant hate speech but Type is violent towards gay people, and specifically Tharn when he finds out that he’s roommates with a gay man. Also Type’s father literally chases him and Tharn with a machete when he finds out that Type is dating a man, so yeah.

Sexual assault and rape: Tharn assaults Type in the shower as a way to ‘get back at him’ for being homophobic, playing into the classic predatory gay stereotype. Techno is drugged, stalked, blackmailed and date raped by Kengkla (LBC). Tar is gang raped and was ‘so broken’ that he literally ran away to France (LBC/TT). Fiat forces a kiss onto Type against his will (DSN)

Domestic abuse: Type hits Tharn many times throughout their relationship, he constantly slaps, punches and kicks him and yet always is allowed to get away with it because of his traumatic past and jealousy issues. Uh, no, no no. You do not get to abuse your partner or anyone in your life because of your trauma, get thee into therapy!

Stalking: Kengkla is obsessed with Techno, he stalks him and often pays his best friend Technic—Techno’s little brother—to snap pictures of the older man when he’s sleeping or changing to give to Kengkla, as well many other things. It should also be stated that they are high school students whilst Techno is a university student, so they are putting Techno at risk with the law because Kengkla is underage. (LBC)

Lhong stalks Tharn for years, even going so far as to run off any potential suitors and hire bikers to rape Tharn’s—extremely underage—boyfriend Tar. (TT)

Fiat stalks Type and dismisses that he has a boyfriend, not caring about it because he’s convinced that he’s in love with Type after being treated by him for a sports injury (TT2)

Incest: Tum, Tar’s older half brother is in love with him and has been for many years. He hates Tharn for breaking Tar’s heart so badly that he ran away to a different country, not knowing about Tar’s rape. Tharn is the only one he tells and to Tharn’s credit, doesn’t tell anyone out of respect to Tar. Eventually it comes out and Tar tells Tum what happens and also tells him that his trauma from the event has left him sex repulsed and broken, unable to love or trust anyone… besides Tum that is! Of course, because Tar loved his big bro all along as well.

Emotional manipulation: Ummm *gestures wildly to every character* take your pick!

Blackmail: Kengkla and Technic—again I cannot stress this enough, Techno is Technic’s brother!—drug Techno during a party, strip him and then put him in bed naked with Kengkla. When he wakes up the next morning with a teenager in his bed and no memory of what happened, he rightfully panics. Kengkla then tells him that they had sex—up until this point Techno had no interest in men—and Kengkla promises that he won’t tell anyone what happened if Techno will sleep with him one more time, Kengkla wants to lose his virginity to him since they didn’t actually have sex, Techno was passed out due to GHB that had been slipped into his drink. As of TharnType2 it is heavily implied that Techno and Kengkla are still together, and that Techno has no idea about the truth behind how he ended up with an underage boyfriend his first year of university.

Dishonourable mentions: Kidnapping, slut shaming, toxic jealousy, racism, classism, misogyny, mishandling of mental health issues, a grown man being perversely obsessed with a teenage girl and extremely harmful LGBTQ+ stereotypes.

Seriously, nothing about TharnType was good or romantic. It was toxic waste and even as a trash/hate watch, I could not enjoy it. I don’t use this term lightly, but the whole series just gives me the ick. And remember those were just all the interconnected storylines that directly involved Tharn and Type, none of those touch on AePete, TinCan or PhugunCirrus. All of which have their own issues, many many issues, but it really does seem like TharnType are the atomic bomb of BL couple fuckery.

Whew! 😅