#i know. i know i’m a horrible person. i know they don’t love me and i know i don’t deserve for them to love me so why are they pretending

[arcanegifs]

This is the last time I'm going to be annoying about this, I swear.

A few examples of that I, a gifmaker, personally love seeing under the tags:

Analysis of said scene, show, or character, especially the long ones going in depth that span like 1000 words

People saying how crisp the GIFs look and how nice the coloring is THANK YOU. ILY GUYS. That's always huge praise for me.

Reacting with how emotional you got with the scene. How painful and emotional or how touching a scene is.

People making funny jokes, memes, comments, etc.

Literally ppl horny posting LMAO. It's super funny to read and I love seeing all the unhinged comments.

Seeing how much you loved the show and its characters

Things I don't like seeing under the tags. And these are just two very specific things:

How much you hate the show, how much you think a scene is bad, how much you hate a character, the ship, the creators, etc. or how much you dont like this ship anymore, calling a ship horrible because ____ reasons. OKAY! I get it! But I don't want to see that. Make your own hate post on your own blog! You're free to have an opinion on how much you hate something. Just do it on your own blog.

Asking why I leave out certain scenes out, why I decided to gif this scene, or not gif more of these characters. Sometimes, I'm just exhausted. I can overlook things. You guys don't know how draining making gifs can get to me, especially the scenes that are really long. But I do it because I LOVE Arcane, the story, and the characters, and the particular scenes that I make gifs of. I have my own biases too. Of course I’m making them first. Please, just make them yourself instead of complaining under the tags of my edits. Yes, I can see them.

Don’t get me wrong, I wholeheartedly appreciate everyone who supports and follows the blog. I want to make a million more HQ gifs of this amazing show, but sometimes, the very rare negativity can still get overwhelming, to the point where it demotivates you.

Arcane is extremely special to me because it's such a fantastic show, and that alone motivates me in trying to create more GIFs. Honestly, if it was any other fandom or show? I would've probably left already. Arcane is THAT great.

I know the block button is there. I use it too, but sometimes, the amount of effort and time you exert to create FOR FREE just isn’t worth it. And that’s why gifmakers and creators stop making things for fandom. It’s not fun anymore. It’s not worth it.

Some people think that making my style of GIFs is easy. Then great! Since you think so, then do it yourself and help create for the fandom too! I wholeheartedly encourage you to do it!

TLDR: Don't be rude on people's fanwork, especially when they are created FOR FREE. If you don’t like their fanwork, you can make them yourself.

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

i can’t be the only one who thinks rose’s flings with humans were partially self destructive

rebecca sugar often describes rose as self destructive. people self destruct in many ways.

i say this as a girl who’s been in relationships where i knew i was treated poorly but subconsciously believed it was what i deserved. if a good person who knew me well showed interest, i’d feel confused. i think you’re so good and i’m nothing like you type of thing.

(if you couldn’t already tell, i also deal with self hatred, though i’m a lot more self aware than i used to be)

rose saw the good in everyone but herself. she was naive, impulsive, & had a tendency to “worship” those around her, believing they were better than her. she was fascinated by humans but didn’t know the norms or labels of human relationships. she didn’t know or understand much about humans, period. i.e., letting a human baby climb a ferris wheel in greg the babysitter.

rose was initially drawn to humans out of fascination. she saw so much beauty in the most simple parts of humanity.

but people don’t always have the best intentions

i can’t help but wonder if some people took advantage, knowing that rose didn’t understand everything about human relationships. for some humans, i’m in no doubt that they found her intriguing & her powers were obviously beneficial for them, but they didn’t respect her or care to try & get to know her. i’m sure some humans weren’t horrible, but clearly her connections with all of them until the 90s were unremarkable. they’d be attracted to her for surface level reasons.

rose thought this was just how human connections worked. even though it would feel…bad sometimes, rose believed she deserved to feel that way. after all, she said herself that it was “a good thing” if people didn’t know her well.

she didn’t think she deserved genuine love from someone who truly knew her, someone who knew her past self. when a relationship felt good, she’d feel guilty, despite deeply & genuinely loving that person who cared for her.

that’s why she’s so surprised when a human treats her with decency in we need to talk. why she laughs when he says the word respect. why she says, “is this not how this works?”

she’s never had a relationship with a human that was caring & respectful. having conversations about respect & wanting to get to know a person are very simple things. this doesn’t make him “better” than any of the crystal gems—he’s just better than the other humans she knew.

as the next three years go by, rose continues to be self destructive. they don’t know about each other’s pasts & they have a shared coping mechanism: escapism. this is why sugar has said that they enable each other, which is unfortunate yet unsurprising because they cope in similar ways. she never opens up to him about her feelings surrounding past trauma, and he doesn’t either—even when some serious decisions are made. rose couldn’t stand herself & she didn’t feel deserving of love. the more people know about her, the less deserving she feels, which makes her avoidant & confusing in relationships.

nevertheless, she genuinely loves those around her, which is partly why she passes her life on to someone she believes deserves to live & be loved more than she does

as she said in nora’s tape in lion 4, i’m so excited for everyone who’s going to know you. from the very start, she believed that the best thing she could do for the people she loved was leave behind someone who deserved to be around them. someone who was worth loving.

with all of that said i hate the way the fandom talks about her character sometimes

[h-ngm-nssluttt]

Color My World

Jake Seresin x Reader

Ella Kazansky never thought she would be able to find someone to bring color into her world after her boyfriend Max passed away. But someone she least's expects brings the most vibrant new colors into her world.

This will be a series.

Color My World Chapter 1

Song: “Dancing with your ghost” - Sasha Alex Sloan

I sat in this uncomfortable waiting room chair, stared at that same stain spot on the carpet and looked through those same 3 magazines on the table in the corner for what felt like the thousandth time. I mean I guess if I do the math I’ve sat here in this same spot 30 times in the last 2 years. It’s routine at this point. I walk in the door, Sarah at the front desk welcomes me with a ‘good morning Ms. Kazansky’, I sit in this exact same chair and then I walk through that door in front of me, spill my feelings like they expect me to and then when it all over I go on with my life. Not that I’m doing much living. I think I’m just existing at this point because I honestly don’t know how to live after a loss like this.

Each week is filled with a therapy appointment, a grief support group, work and spending time with the one person who doesn’t look at me with pity or judgment for how I’m handling my life right now. Most of ‘our’ friends have given up on me… well more like I pushed them away because it hurt too much. Natasha Trace is the only one who hasn’t left and I’m honestly grateful.

The door opens and I see my therapist stand there with a smile on her face as she gestures for me to come in. I take my seat in the middle of the couch as she sits across from me grabbing her notebook and pen.

“How are you doing today Ella?”

I turn my head and glance out the window in her office as she says the same line she always does. And I lie like I usually do.

“I’m doing okay”

In reality id like to say ‘I’m feeling fucking horrible’ but everyone knows that wouldn’t go over well.

After talking about my ‘feelings and grief’ for an hour I make my way to my usual spot. Headphones on my head as I walk down the street towards the little coffee shop by the beach where Natasha meets me every Thursday to help me recoup from the therapy.

The slight breeze blows my hair around as I take a sip from my coffee watching everyone on the beach. Everyone smiling, laughing. Living. 

I smile as I watch him walk out towards the water. The muscles on his back moved with each step he took. The breeze blowing my hair around as I just sat there and admired him. God… how did I get so lucky. His blue eyes meet mine as he calls back to me.

“Well you coming?”

I smiled as I didn't waste a second before shedding my jacket and sliding my dress off before running to him in the water. The second I was close enough his arms wrapped around me and lifted me off my feet as a wave crashed around us. The sound of his laugh was muffled by the sounds of the waves. We stood there just holding onto one another. A random kiss placed on top of my head every few seconds.

“It doesn’t get better than this El…”

I smile as i pull my head back from his bare chest as i look up into his blue eyes that i love so much as a smile crosses his face

“I’m madly in love with you, you know that?”

“Trust me i know Max-a-million”

His smile grew before he leaned down and kissed me… 

“Earth to Ella….. How did it go today?”

I snap back from my thoughts as i  scoff slightly as I turn in my seat and look at Natasha

“same as usual. There’s no timeline on progress and healing. Apparently, I’m making progress according to her but I definitely don’t feel like it.”

She looks at me as she rests her arms across the table

“I think you have. At least a little bit. Ella, the grief isn’t going to go away overnight you know”

“I know… I just didn’t think it would still be hurting this badly to miss him almost 2 years later”

“And I wish for you that it didn’t hurt this much, but your entire world got flipped upside down… How are you feeling about it being almost 2 years?”

“I honestly don’t know. It honestly still feels like it was yesterday. My mom keeps trying to get me to move back home”

“She wants you to move back onto base?”

“Yeah. Both her and dad. They seem to think that me leaving my place is the best idea to help move on. I came home last week and I found her there trying to pack up some of his stuff… I flipped shit. Told her to get out. She’s been calling but I won’t pick up”

Natasha looks at me with a shocked expression

“she just went into your place and touched his stuff?”

“Yeah…”

“Have you made any progress on putting any of it away like your therapist recommended?”

I sigh as I look away from her back out to the beach

“I tried… I really did but… I just can’t do it… it makes me feel like I’m trying to get rid of him…”

I open the door to my place and flick on the lights. The sound of Gizmo running to the door fills the silent house. I smile as I lean down and give him a quick pet before dumping my bag by the door. I sit down on the chair. His chair. As I sit there quietly. Everything in this room of his is just where he left it. The jacket tossed on the bench by the door. The empty glass next to the Jameson bottle on the cart by the record player. Everything. Gizmo sits between my legs and lets out a whine.

“I know. I know… I miss him too”

If you stepped into my place you would think he’s still here. Between all of his things, the pictures that litter every available surface like the fridge, the walls, the tables. So many memories scattered around. Memories that make me realize my life is all black and white now. The kitchen where we would dance and sing while making meals together is quiet and lifeless. The breezeway where we would lay on the couch on rainy days with the French doors open just listening to the rain. I haven’t opened those doors since. The laughter that would fill the living room when we would have a game night together. Gone. The boxes of games forgotten in the corner of the room. The only thing that hasn’t changed is music. I will constantly have his favorite records playing. Honestly if I sit there, close my eyes and listen I swear it feels like I can hear his voice singing along. I can still see his smile, hear his laugh as he would dance with me around the house. But the second I open my eyes it’s gone. I’m alone and that nagging feeling in my body… the feeling I can’t describe is there to remind me that he’s gone.

The day Max died was the day all the color was taken from my life… because Max put all the color into my life… and now I’m back to black and white.  

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First chaper and second chapter will be about Ella, Jake will make his appearance in chapter 3!

This is my first time writing a series on tumblr so be patient with me. I am going to create a master list for this series as well.

If you would like to be added to the notification list shoot me a message!

Chapter 2 coming shortly!

[beerok23]

Runaway Groom AU - Chapter 17

With the compliments of my beta @somewhere-in-wales

Excerpt from Chapter 17 - Spirits

It was past 8 in the evening, and he was taking a stroll down the high street. After the longest day of the year, the shops were finally all closed, and all the owners had gone home to their friends and families. It was a particularly cold night, and Aziraphale could feel the chill passing through his immaculate beige coat down to his core. You could spot little puffs of air coming out from his mouth, but his recently grown beard was proving to be really helpful to protect at least his cheeks from the glacial winter. Aziraphale was so engrossed in his thoughts that he almost didn’t notice the sound of steps on the pavement behind him. He was being followed, and when he eventually realised it, he turned around in one quick motion, startling the person who was approaching him. “Fuck, Az, you scared the shit out of me!” Aziraphale chuckled at his best friend’s colourful language, “I’m sorry, Anathema. You shouldn’t have been following me like a pickpocket, then.” Anathema narrowed her eyes cunningly, “It’s funny that you should mention pickpockets, because that might have something to do with what we’re about to do tonight.” “What I am about to do is go home and wallow in the misery of the distasteful, troubled, fragile existence that I’ve carved out for myself here.” Anathema scoffed, “You sound just like Crowley.” Yes, I do. So what if Aziraphale had spent the last couple of days reading all the pieces Crowley had published in the last ten years? What if he’d been inspired by his almost lyrical language? Sue him! “What do you want from me, Ana?” Aziraphale sighed in exasperation, and the fact that he’d just short-named her was proof enough of his distress. “It’s late, it’s cold, and I want to go home.” “No, you don’t. Because tonight you will be haunted…” Anathema moved her fingers in what was supposed to be a spooky gesture, “By Three Spirits.” It was Aziraphale’s turn to narrow his eyes at his friend, “What are you talking about?!” “Without their visits you cannot hope to shun the path you’re treading.” Aziraphale had known Anathema for years, and she’d never used those two verbs since she’d become a British citizen, not once. Good Lord, he knew British scholars who’d never used the word ‘shun’. But Aziraphale knew who did use it. “Why are you quoting Dickens to me, Anathema? You know I don’t like him that mu—” Anathema thumped her feet on the ground, “Will you just shut it and let me act?!” Aziraphale smiled tenderly at his friend and waved his hands so that she knew that she could go on with whatever silliness she was up to. “I am here tonight to warn you that you have yet a chance and hope of escaping a horrible fate.” “This sounds a little bit improv.” Anathema scoffed, “Maybe if you let me finish, Mr. Scrooge, you would understand!” “Right, sure. I can most certainly shut up.” “Thanks,” Anathema nodded hard at him. “Can I take the visits all at once and have it over, Anathema?” Aziraphale was deliberately misquoting the novel, now. But two could play this game. Anathema gave him a scornful look and mouthed a silent ‘fuck you’. Aziraphale replied with a whispered ‘love you’.

[READ FROM THE BEGINNING]

TAG LIST

@firephoenix2305 @on1occasionfork @moralsofanalleycatsposts @captainblou @bellisima-writes @shadesofecclescakes

With the ineffable trailer created by @ineffablerainstorm and the support of my second beta @pookasluagh 💛🧡

[randomalistic]

Wait you guys are actually buying Disney products I thought it was a joke

(READ TAGS FOR FULL CONTEXT Sorry it’s long dies

[supergraphicultramoderngirl]

aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[calamitydaze]

long tag ramble below u have been warned

[laniidae-passerine]

I think some of you guys hate Izzy more than you ever liked Ed and no amount of “he’s my special babygirllll 💞 she’s just a sparkle princess you can’t hold her accountable for anything 🥰✨” posts are gonna be able to hide that

[cats-in-the-clouds]

it is unfortunate when i go to prayer and cry my eyes out and the only response i really hear is that i simply have to bear it. like usually i can get my emotions out and once they’re settled i hear a rational solution but it sucks when i don’t get the answer i want. i just have to keep waiting. like normally i hear something that gives me strength but wow apparently i’ve hit a new low

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

people begging me to do something to make a certain someone happy aren’t taking into account that i hate this person and i will revel in the knowledge that i kept them from getting the most perfect version of what they wanted. in fact i hope they mourn the loss of this for the rest of their life and die unhappy about it

[miodiodavinci]

(head in hands) man.

[yourheartinyourmouth]

seriously can we talk about how fucked up it is that someone told my husband to divorce me just bc i am disabled and can’t power through incredible misery like NTs apparently can

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

.

[phoe-ix]

“are you okay?” “You alright?” “Do you need a break?”

Tf you think?

[monokumis]

Communication is so important in relationships. I know I’ve struggled with it before in the past because I was made to feel like I was making things up or getting ignored. But if you tell me you value communication, I expect you to actually listen to me when I communicate with you. Do not play the victim, do not say I am unfairly judging you, if there is an issue I will come to you and say it. I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think you could improve and become a better person. I poured my all into you and loved you so much, what a shame that you never cared half as much as I did and hated me for even trying. I’m doing the responsible thing of realizing enough is enough and that I need to let you go, even if it hurts. I refuse to stay in an abusive relationship with someone who can’t communicate why they hate me. As much as I hate what you did to me, I also realized my own self worth. I shouldn’t let others walk all over me just so they won’t leave, so they’ll like me. My life has so much more value than that. I went into this relationship hating myself, but I’m leaving it now full of love for both myself and the people in my life who want and appreciate my love. I’m so grateful to them, and I’m grateful to you for showing me how much other people love me. I’d wish you the best in life, but you already had it.

[chaosnojutsu]

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