#i know this doesnt mean much especially when things feel like they suck

[faerociousbeast]

also um i know things can be bad and im not sure how much help i can be but im here to listen if needed. hugs and support 🫂🫂🫂

[mitchievousness]

.

[weebsinstash]

Hi I’ve been watching Hazbin Hotel and I found your blog which is amazing by the way , and I was wondering what are your thoughts on yandere Alastor ?

Thanks babe! ^^ so i was discussing this with someone recently and, to avoid doing that thing where I have too any concepts on the same post, I'm going to stick with a specific idea I've had of him recently which I will call "canon accurate yandere Alastor"

imma be honest and say this version would fucking suck depending on your preferences because he

-doesn't love you romantically and doesn't let YOU date

-doesn't wanna fuck you either AND DOESN'T LET YOU FUCK ANYONE ELSE EITHER

-probably does not consider you an equal by any means, like he considers you a good friend and you're charming and lovely and whatever, but he sees you like.... you'd be puking into a trashcan and he's the one holding your hair back, "now see my dear, this is why you shouldn't go out drinking without a proper escort~" like there's a vague layer of condescension and there's a huge massive power balance and experience balance between you two

Like. He's. He's kind of condescendingly cunty to you, he's vaguely looking at you with the energy of "MacKenzie oh my gosh MacKenzie you're so drunk, you're wasted, oh my god let me drive you home, no girl I'm taking your keys, you're too--" like do you get what I mean? He's a traditional gentleman and he comes along and uh, he thinks he sees this raw potential and charm inside of you that he thinks is being wasted by your modern lifestyle which can literally include

- your diet

-your tech use or what you use from day to day

- how you dress

-how you TALK

-how you spend your time

-who you hang out with

Just picture he meets you, you catch his eye, maybe you're at the hotel, and he's entertained by your sarcastic witty replies to his antics that maybe even get a chuckle out of him. You're a spitfire and he likes that!

.... and then the next time he sees you you're like vaping weed from a pen, looking at him with half lidded eyes, playing a game on your phone, too scattered to fully hold a conversation with him, to focus, to be as entertaining to him as before, and he's grinding the teeth in his smile, "oh no, this won't do at all", especially when he sees negative affects such maybe you're watching things he doesn't approve of or you're being harassed idk

I feel like since Alastor canonically drinks and is quite a heavyweight apparently, he wouldn't mind his darling drinking, but he would definitely control how much after a while. If you get too wasted in front of him too many times, he'll completely cut you off. Folks are you aware that getting too drunk can cause an alcohol induced panic attack that can literally take away your ability to move your hands and arms and make your mouth numb. I found this out recently :) whoops. And I feel like Alastor sees that shit and you'd have to EARN HIS TRUST for him to let you drink again and uh, I don't think that's possible

You're kind of like a bestie but you're also like a toy he's playing with and he doesn't like to share. He'll drag you away from doing other things with other people, especially if he doesn't approve of what you're doing and or with whom. He basically views you dating other people as lowering yourself to people who are beneath you and would only want you to give yourself to someone who deserves you, and he doesn't think ANYONE deserves you except him, and he DOESNT LIKE YOU THAT WAY so the man is just like FORCING CELIBACY ON YOU. Like have you ever seen videos of people taking their domesticated lovely groomed pets outdoors and like a stray or even wild animal version of it comes along to. Hump. And the owner is freaking out, "get the fuck AWAY I don't know where you've been" or at least Should? THAT'S Alastor watching 'other people trying to predate upon you' aka YOU trying to get laid or date

You'll be cooking something and he'll come up and try some without asking, "Hah! This is terrible!" and either watch you so he can tell you what he thinks you did wrong once the dish is finished or he takes over and asserts that he wants to show you to do it "the proper way!" and if you're female he potentially inserts a comment about how as a lovely lady you should know your way around a kitchen (in like a positive "I'll show you so you can know for yourself" way but like the underlying misogyny is there lol)

He'll take you out drinking and dancing but don't you dare let him catch you throwing it back or being mildly sexual, or he'll immediately tell you you've had too much to drink and take you home and you two spend the rest of the night like drinking tea listening to the radio, reading books, or watching old timey TV.

Lastly... I can absolutely see Alastor making some kind of deal with his darling for their soul. He CAN do that (and I think technically anyone in Hell can deal with souls, it's apparently part of the becoming an Overlord process). But I can just see him taking his darling's soul in exchange for anything, it might be really small, it might be really important, but he sees it as safeguarding your beautiful lovely little soul from anyone else who might take it. It truly is like THE HIGHEST FORM OF OWNING YOU, CONTROLLING YOU. It's all according to whatever is in the deal, but I'm sure there's other basic caveats you get... like him being able to summon you at will if you agree to it so he's randomly yanking you away from other people or tracking you when he doesn't know when you are.... or restraining you so you stop running away from him and running out on the town to act so... vulgar

[artdcnaldson]

beyond ready to match your freak on this, sick and twisted, i luv it >:)

i think this is the night he finally cracks a little... youve been rilling him up for so long at this point, lying to him, ignoring him, purposely making him jealous, hes had enough of this little game. especially when he notices you didnt even bother with panties under your skirt...

so there you two are, in his bedroom once again. his cock is right there, right in front of your face, you can basically smell his musk from where you're sitting. whining at him when he's telling you to beg for big brother’s cock. its so dirty, you really should be disgusted by this, but hes so intoxicating like this. something is different in his eyes from last time you two where sitting like this. theres a desperation in his eyes, like hes begging you to push him into the deep end.

suddenly he's telling you that if you beg real pretty for it, he might let you touch him... oh boy... why did he say that, he'll regret saying that in the morning. but for now he's too occupied with the dirty, depraved prayers slipping from your lips. if patrick could hear them now he would be sick to his stomach, honestly what's wrong with you both??? making his sweet little sister call art her big brother and beg him, on her knees, to let her touch him?? but neither of you are thinking about that at all.

i think, after reveling in your praises, he lets you move closer. tells you to take care of his balls while he jerks himself off :(((( he still wont let you touch him with your hands tho. but maybe he lets you come off the floor, instead he sits against the headboard and lets you lay between his thighs, making such a mess on his sheets. even while lost in pleasure and depravity, art keeps insisting that this doesnt mean that he'll ever fuck you. this is for him, not for you. he doesnt believe you when you tell him youd never tell anyone, youre too much of a slut to keep it to yourself. maybe he'd even rest his pretty cock on your face while youre sucking his balls :(((( makes you beg him to slap your face with it :((( so mean of him!!!

-🐞

GODDDD thank you for matching my freak <3

“Say it and I might let you touch me. If you beg pretty enough— if you’re a good little sister.”

And you know how bad it is when the words slip past your lips for the first time. Know it’s fucked up to fantasize about. But you’re so wet it’s dripping down your thigh where you sit between his legs. Patrick is so far from your mind, reality is a hazy blur around whatever the fuck exists outside of Art’s dorm room.

Because you he was like a brother earlier, just to make him mad, and now he’s making you eat your words. It’s the worst thing he’s ever asked you to do, just the sheer taboo of it all. It’s all fake, you remind yourself, and you want him so bad you’d do anything.

“I want my big brother’s cock.” It makes you shiver, makes your cunt clench around nothing, needy, desperate. You whine, grind against your heel. “Need it so bad. I’m so wet, Art, I can’t stop thinking about it.”

He laughs, revealing his teeth as he smiles wide. But there’s nothing warm or sweet about it. Just cold, cruel pleasure. “Yeah? You want big brother to fuck you so bad, huh? You stuff that pussy full of your fingers wanting it.”

You nod, and fuck, he’s so close you feel dizzy with want. Just want to open your mouth, take him into your warm, wet mouth, get him nice and wet.

“Say it again.”

You whine. “I want you so bad. Need big brother’s cock inside of me— wherever you want, Art. Just want to make you feel good. I want to be a good little sister.”

Jesus fucking Christ. Just hearing you say it makes him dizzy. It shouldn’t be as hot as it is. He readjusts, sits against his headboard and you whine when he moves away from you.

“C’mere, lay down between my thighs, but no touching.” So you do— obeying easily. Your hands are pinned beneath your stomach, you look up at him with wide eyes, just begging for direction.

He starts jerking off again, so close that you can hear every slick pass of his hand. And you feel so left out, almost want to cry with need.

“Be a good little sister, suck on my balls while I make myself cum.”

He might as well have offered you the whole fucking world on a platter. You don’t give him time to change his mind before your mouth is on him, laving the soft skin of his sack with slow laps of your tongue.

You moan, loud and debauched, because it’s everything you’ve been wanting so bad. It’s the taste of him, salty and heady on your tongue. And the feel of him pulsing in your mouth, twitching and needing release. You grind into the bed, finding a tiny amount of friction in the balled up duvet beneath you.

He groans when you suck one of his balls into your mouth, when he feels your moan vibrate against him, nearly cums on the spot. This is supposed to be fucking degrading, but he can see you grinding your bare, sticky cunt onto his blankets. Your mouth is so hot, so wet— your lashes rest against your cheeks, you look so fucking content between his thighs with his balls in your mouth.

He wonders if there’s anything he could do at all to curb your incessant lust for him. Slapping you hadn’t worked, incidental as it was. Ignoring you only drove you to whore yourself out to other boys. He doubted there was anything on the planet that you wouldn’t do, any way you wouldn’t debase yourself for him.

Jesus Christ. He should tell Patrick. He should come clean, explain how fucking bad things had gotten. It would’ve been better if he’d just fucked you once to begin with, now if he tells Patrick he has to reckon with… this.

“Can’t believe you’re fucking getting off on this,” he mutters, even as he strokes his cock to the sight of you, humping his bed and sucking his balls into your pretty wet mouth. “This is supposed to be for me, not for you. Doesn’t fucking change anything either. I’m not fucking you, not ever.”

He holds his cock over your face, presses it against your nose and forehead. You whine, nuzzle against it like you’re a fucking puppy. It makes his cock pulse, the sheer neediness.

He hears your soft pants, the debauched moans as you grind into the bed. Keeps jerking himself off against your face, bucking his hips, lets his cock glide against your soft skin.

“Beg for your big brother’s cum, honey.” You sob pathetically, hump the bed harder, faster, desperate in your need for release. He slaps his cock against your cheek, makes you whine. “Beg for it.”

“Please, Art,” you whine. “Need it. Need it need it need it.” You mouth at his balls, your moans all choked and strangled as you get closer. It’s so pathetic, so fucking hot he can’t help himself. He cums, making a mess of your hair, of your face.

The sound he makes, the feel of his balls drawing up, pulsing on your tongue, it’s enough to drive you crazy. You cum hard, tears slipping down your cheeks as you pathetically grind against his duvet. You keep lapping at his balls, let his dick get soft, rest flaccid against your face.

He pushes you off after a while, mutters something under his breath about how gross this all is. How fucking desperate and depraved you were.

It pisses you off. You’re the one with his cum drying on your face, in your hair. It’s not like you were the one who was getting off on being called big brother. I mean, you were getting off on calling him that, certainly. But you didn’t bring it up. That was him. He was just as fucking bad as you were.

So you steal his shower, don’t fucking talk to him as you grab your shit. He, chewing on his cuticles as you shove past him, heading for the door.

“Where are you going? It’s, like, two in the morning?”

You laugh. So now he wants to play at being the protective friend? “Fuck you, Art. I’m sleeping in my own room.”

He lets you go, tries to ignore the pang of longing. Whatever. Maybe you finally learned something.

[verboselocket38]

I think about this a lot when watching the show but like.... Just because the Vees are horrible people doesnt make the main characters any better?

Angel dust killed people, Alastor killed and ate people, Husk was a former overlord and owned the souls of many people, when Charlie saw her friend have a horrible boss whos been hurting him she doesnt do ANYTHING despite being the PRINCESS OF HELL. Theres a difference between being nice and being stupid, and Charlie is just stupid... like PAINFULLY stupid and childish.

Just because you try to show a character who is a "Worse Murderer" does not mean crap since your other characters literally killed people as well! They suck as much as the "worse murderer" if they killed ONE PERSON.

When Charlie wants sinners to be redeemed, it doesnt seem she puts rules on who can or cant go to heaven. So basically all they have to do is just do a bunch of trust exercises and trust falls and all their crimes are forgotten and they can happily prance in heaven with their victims 😊

People say that this is suppose to be apart of Charlie's "Nativity" and like- fine. I could of been OK with that if it wernt for...

A) Charlie was born in hell, she should know or feel that all the stuff seen and done in hell is "normal" by their societal standards

and

B) IF THOSE EXERCISES DIDNT WORK

Heres the thing, Sir Pentious goes to heaven in the final episode. All he did throught the series is trust exercies and that bit at the end to protect the hotel (He didnt sacrifice himself guys, if he did he would of atleast got a hit on Adam). I know his backstory will be mentioned in season 2 but assuming he killed someone when he was alive, that is not enough to redeem someone. I love Pentious but he doesnt deserve heaven, I'm sorry 😭

Like yeah- the Vees suck as people (Especially Val) but you cant act like the main characters are good people when they do the bare minimum and believe doing less drugs and trust exercises excuse you for murder.

Heck... Even in Helluva Boss our Main Characters are assassins and Striker, who is also an assassin, is the bad guy cuz hes trying to kill Stolas. They try to paint striker as "worse" when our main characters are equally as bad.

It doesnt matter if a character commited more murders than some other person that murders. At the end of the day they are still murderers.

Rosie: "She's flawed.... But who down here isnt?" BISH YOU ARE A CANNIBAL, THAT ISNT A FLAW.

Charlie: "Sinners made mistakes too when they were alive" MY GUY MURDER AND R*PE IS NOT A MISTAKE, ITS A HORRIBLE ACT. THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING WHEN THEY WERE ALIVE WHEN DOING THOSE THINGS!

Sorry about the long post but this just makes me mad and I had to rant about it :/

[kinninggojo]

detailed fluffy/smutty headcannons! draco malfoy as your boyfriend.

i’m writing this as a continuation of “ive got my eye on you”, and sooort of requested by @dolcid. i’ll hopefully write a proper part two soon but for now here are some detailed, fluffy bf!draco headcannons to keep you satisfied. ive thrown some smuttys hcs in as well, so you really get the picture (i love reading headcannons so i hope you’re as pleased with this as i am!) <3

WARNINGS! SEXUAL CONTENT. SMUT. 18+

malfoy is a really good boyfriend. you’ve never had one before though so you can’t compare him to much :(

the way he confessed to you was really impressive though (and really turned you on! drunk kisses > )

he gets better and better at kissing every time you do it. he’s not very emotional but he’s passionate, if that makes sense?

when you’re kissing he doesnt administer alot of touch himself but he loves it when you touch him. he lets you run your hands all over his chest, it makes him groan.

when he DOES touch you, its usually your thighs.

despite all the kissing, he’s actually very cautious about going any further with you, because he knows you’ve never been fucked by anyone before. in the first few weeks, he sticks to hot makeout sessions with you.

he used to tease you for being ugly when you disliked eachother, he never meant it, by the damage it did to your confidence meant you never pursued a relationship before him so you’re really a virgin in every aspect. (slay tho <3)

draco doesn’t do dates really. he likes to keep you all to himself, he’s selfish like that. so he usually invites you to the slytherin common room, and takes you up to his dorm.

he banishes the goons from the dorm to spend time with you because he knows they make you uneasy.

he really cherishes quality time over anything, that’s his love language. he doesn’t have to be kissing you the whole time, sitting beside you whilst you read is enough for him. he’s enamoured with your presence.

he’s always been enamoured with your presence, even when he pretended to hate you.

draco is quite a grumpy boyfriend. not mean. just moody. he doesnt like other people. he especially doesnt like harry potter. or anything about any of the gryffindors. you pay it no heed, you just find it cute.

he takes things further one day and you let him eat you out. he doesnt do this alot. hes mostly a receiver.

he’s really dirty when he wants to be, its the fault of his smirk, it makes him look even dirtier.

draco is heavy on the dirty talking and teasing, after all your relationship begun because of his unremitting teasing.

so when he’s licking your pussy, he’s doing it whilst smirking and cooing annoyingly because of how red your face is going.

he gets really hard because its his first time going further than kissing with you. youre the first girl that hes had feelings for as well, so it makes it unreal for him. he gets so hard he has to ask you to suck his dick.

he doesnt beg you though! his voice is cool and nonchalant like it always is.

instead of cumming in your mouth, he comes all over your pussy because he likes how it looks.

when you two finish, he isn’t one for cuddling, but he lets you lay beside him in his arm, and fall asleep on his chest.

when its time for you to go back to your dorm, he folds all of your things up for you, stacks all of your books. hes weirdly a neat-freak.

when you aren’t hanging out on his bed, you’re watching his quidditch games.

one day he has a bad fall and ends up in the hospital wing, with his arm in a sling. typical draco!

he’s a hypochondriac lol!

you drop your studies to sit with him. he grumbles profusely about the pain and the sling. he loves complaining.

you shut him up by kissing him, which makes his expression harden because you two werent public about your relationship yet. but you dont care.

when he’s injured in hospital he lets you groom his hair for him. he cares alot about his appearance. its a frequent occurance. because hes not one for skinship its how you feel close to him.

he warms to the idea of cuddling a bit, but when he does he prefers to be spooned rather than spoon you. and he always does it under the blanket so no one could accidentally see.

he’s a tall, protective boyfriend. he usually wards “threats” away with rude, witty comments, or dirty looks. he doesnt care. you’re his.

when you’re in public, he stands behind you w his hands on your shoulders so he can protect you at all times if he needs to.

he gradually becomes more comfortable being emotional around you. not emotional as in sad or cloying but. he smiles more. not big cheeky smiles, but small ones you notice when you catch him off gaurd.

he kisses you alot before bed, you start sleeping over in his bed in the slytherin dorm, you get away with it because he becomes a prefect.

he kisses the top of your head and your hands/fingertips the most. you’re precious to him, that’s how he conveys it.

after a few weeks of sleeping in his bed, he makes the ultimate move on you and fucks you for the first time. “making-love” is a bit cringe in dracos opinion, he is draco malfoy after all. but it isnt senseless fucking.

he loves the power imbalance of you getting onto your knees for him and sucking his dick. like i said, hes a receiver!

he puts his big, pale hand in your hair and bounces it harshly on his dick. he doesnt make you choke on it though, he doesnt like that.

he actually doesnt fuck you in his bed, the first time. you both get so carried away that he takes you against the wall. from all angles. behind. from the front.

it’s rough, desperate fucking. youve never been fucked before. its such a new and overwhelming feeling. youve been pining for eachother for so long.

he cums all over your pretty pussy again, but not inside it (obvs) and admires it for a while whilst catching his breath.

you start crying after! it was such an intense experience that you get a bit… worried? overwhelmed? it’s not serious crying but you need some softness.

draco isn’t always the best person to rely on for softness but he knows that you need it right now after the way he’d just fucked you.

you cuddle properly for the first time. all naked and sticky (draco HATES that, but he doesnt mind tonight bc its you) and he kisses your head over and over.

hes not big on aftercare usually. but hes patient with you tonight. he lets you sleep off the feeling, and wear his big, boxy school shirt whilst you do so. it smells of him. you love it.

you love him.

he loves you too, hes thinking.

but you don’t tell each other just yet ;)

[oinkinpigprince]

Can I request Pim or Charlie x Gyaru reader?!

Sure thing! I don’t know much about Gyaru but my friend rlly likes the style so

Pim and Charlie x gyaru reader

Pim

He thinks your style is sooo cool!! He canonically watches anime(enough to have that iconic anime drawing style) so I’m actually 90% sure he knows what gyaru is, although not a lot he’s still able to recognize it

That being said, gyaru isn’t really represented good in anime(they’re usually bullies I think) so he might be a little scared to talk to you at first due to stereotypes

But he’s NEVER met a person he can’t befriend so he kinda sucked up his nerves and found out you were actually really nice!!

Pim dresses like a Mormon so even though you two are both kinda dressy it’s two VERY different styles. You’re both dressed for two very different occasions

He thinks it’s really pretty!! He finds more feminine looks really attractive so he thinks you’re really pretty, even if it isn’t traditional femininity he still likes it because it’s you :33

The more out there looks he has to admire, with the fancy eye makeup and heavy accessories. It’s def one of those ‘on the occasion’ looks but he still finds them really special

Learning about the history of it is really fun, he loves learning about people and cultures so Pim will read up on it on his own time just to impress you

Absolutely loves it when you take selfies with him, it makes him feel really special! He does some cute little poses and smiles really wide

Charlie

He has literally never heard about Gyaru in his life. When he saw your outfit he had to do a double take, it’s just something he’s never really seen so it was a little shocking

That doesnt mean he thinks it’s ugly or sum, he doesn’t really mind it after a bit and even comes to enjoy it! Thinks its really unique and kinda cool

When you explain to him it’s actually more of a counter culture thing is when he really starts to dig it. Really respects you for wanting to go against beauty standards in a way he’s never seen

Even though he wants to pretend he’s this confrontational macho guy he usually freezes especially when the other party is bigger. But if something happens he’ll always be there to defend you

But you usually are able to speak up for yourself well enough Charlie just admires you from afar. Always there to back you up though

You are the underdressed boyfriend and over dressed partner duo. People don’t even think you two would even be associated with each other w/ how Charlie dresses and acts

Kinda forgets after a while how wild you dress up until someone asks to take pictures with you. He gets it but it always surprises him because you’re just his partner to him

[ryuluvr]

ryujin itzy headcanons (nsfw/nsft) (wlw)

warnings: dom ryu, sub reader, mommy kink, fingering, riding, public sex, orgasm denial, slight humiliation, slight overstimulation, cursing, praise.

feel free to send me asks with thoughts and suggestions!

• she’s huge on ‘any time, any place’. you can always tell when she wants you because she always has a certain dark look in her eyes and its enough to make you physically weak at the knees. sofa, bed, bathroom, kitchen, she literally makes it her goal to switch it up every time to keep it interesting.

• she’s also into public sex. it started off pretty tame like fucking you in shop fitting rooms or in public bathrooms, covering your mouth to keep you quiet so you guys wouldnt get caught. but it quickly escalated, for example getting you to ride her thigh in a corner booth in a club, leaving wet sloppy kisses all over your neck making you whine as you grind against her. thank god the music drowns you out.

• she loves to talk you through it, praising you during your climax. “that’s it baby, let it out. you’re doing so well for me.” GODDDDD

• she also calls herself mommy in third person and lets out a breathy moan every time you call her that title yourself. “mommy’s got you baby.. did i tell you to stop?” it makes you die every time without fail omfg.

• she works you up in the most torturous ways imaginable, putting her hands all over your body as slow and as light as possible, smirking at you because she loves to watch you become desperate. she kisses and softly sucks at the skin on your neck as she gropes your breasts, her thumbs soon running across your nipples from over your clothes, just enough for you to feel it and writhe under her because “it isnt enough, mommy.”

• she ALWAYS asks you if you feel good, sometimes moving her hands away from your core with a smug look on her face straight after, simply to be a little mean. “mommy’s getting tired baby, can you fuck yourself on my fingers?” of course she isn’t tired, she’s only going to suddenly pump into you when you least expect it.. she just wants to watch you put on a show for her first like the obedient girl you are.

• she loves missionary over any other position because she adores watching you fall apart below her, gripping onto the sheets underneath or trying to cover your face with your arms or hands. she finds it adorable when you’re embarrassed and vulnerable.

• “what do you want, baby? where do you want to be touched? use your words, my pretty girl.” UGHHH

• she’s extremely cocky at times. if your phone rings she’ll continue pleasuring you and order you to take the call, but doesnt get mad if you end it suddenly due to it being too much for you. it only turns her on more that shes the one making you feel this good. she knows you wont even have the energy to call them back once she’s done with you anyways. LORDDD

• her speed increases every time you come, often pumping into you with two fingers as she sucks on your clit. she wont stop even after you finish just to watch you whine and shake because you’re overstimulated, and truthfully, it hurts. she’s not mean enough to continue though, its just for a few seconds.

• if you come on her fingers she’ll take them out and get you to taste yourself. “how does my baby girl taste? mm good, right?” feeling you suck on her fingers only makes her groan. she could easily climax just from watching you. most of the time she’ll kiss you straight after just to taste you once more on your own lips.

• she doesn’t want it all the time as shes more of a giver, but on occasion she’ll ask you to touch her too. “just like that. fuck, baby..” she talks you through it, encouraging you the entire time and guiding your hands where she secretly desperately needs them to get off. her moans are breathy and low, often throwing her head back and bucking up her hips, especially if you’re eating her out which is her favourite thing ever omfg.

• she constantly curses under her breath as if she cant handle the way you make her feel, as if every time is her first. she grips onto your hair and tugs it slightly without realising but you don’t mind. you wouldn’t dare keep her waiting so you make her come as fast and as intensely as you can, she loves that shit.

• she LOVES eye contact, especially when she forces you to maintain it. she will grip your hair or your chin to make sure your eyes cant leave hers. “good girl, look at me. eyes on mommy.”

lorddd i cant cope

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for asking out my manager?

Hi there. Trust me this is a WIBTA and not just dating advice.

So I (35F) am basically working at my dream workplace. I cant say what exactly, because I know people follow this account there, but suffice to say its in a desirable industry with a lot of passionate folks, and while its a big (~150 people) place, there's an atmosphere of kindness and joy I've never seen anywhere else. I know a lot of you probably hate me for this, but I am truly aware how rare a workplace this is, and I am grateful. I dont take it for granted. Sometimes the work itself truly sucks, and the pay is outright atrocious, but when your coworkers have your back, it makes all the difference. They accept me even tho I'm trans, and when I've been sick or injured they make sure I'm taken care of. I feel like they are a family of sorts, and I've been working there for over a year now.

Anyways, this wonderful place is held up by a lot of wonderful people, but one in particular is my manager (30F). When I first got hired, I noticed she was cute, but more importantly she was welcoming and accepting. I set aside those feelings, of course, because its a workplace, but they havent gone away.

But lately, this all started to change. We now spend a lot of talking! We have lots of common interests, and there have been nights when both of us will stay for HOURS while the other works, just to chat about whatever! We even text a bit, even about not-work things. Sharing fandom stuff, whatever. The more and more we talked, the more I fell for her. I could hear her go on for days, even if its something I dont care about. Hell, she could read the dictionary and I'd be sitting there grinning because I get to hear her talk. I've got it bad! And then, a few weeks ago, she even brings up how she's given up on dating...but before I could ask more or say anything really, a coworker interrupted and the moment passed.

And here I am, weeks later, smitten like crazy. And I'd say "oh she obviously likes me, she sticks around for you, shares stuff with you" but she's like this with everyone. She's a bit airheaded honestly about it, I mostly find it endearing, but she could absolutely just be doing it because she talks like that to everyone. She's bisexual, and very pro-trans, so I dont think that would be an issue in any way.

But here's where the WIBTA part comes: I have told a couple other coworkers, and they brought up not only that its a dangerous move to date a manager, but also that it could hurt the workplace itself. I mean, this is a place where so many people get to have a joyful opportunity at life, and as I've said this is tremendously rare...what if I take up too much of this manager's time, and she cant be there for other workers? What if this manager gets fired for dating an underling, and gets replaced by someone awful? There's a whole lot of what-if's floating through my mind.

And then I start thinking, if I ask her out, wouldnt that be putting her in an awkward position? I mean if she doesnt like me, and has to turn me down, she still has to work with me, and I her. I can compartmentalize that, but...she might have more trouble. Is it selfish of me to even try, when I could just let well enough be? And on top of that, what did she mean by "giving up on dating"? It didnt sound like she was aromantic, just that she decided it wont happen, but maybe its just going to be a problem if I ask her out. It feels like the stakes of even asking her out are so high. So I keep chatting with her in hopes that I'll catch a lead, but...idk.

Anyways, I am primarily concerned with if it would be a dick move to anyone in my workplace, especially her, but genuinely I am just lost here. I've never dated anyone at a workplace, but like. The dating apps suck, and I dont think I've ever felt this way about anyone before. I've even thought about quitting or finding another workplace to make it an easier decision, but I feel like thats even worse; like it would put pressure on her to date me because I quit for her or something. So how about it? Should I keep my mouth shut, or is love truly worth all risks?

What are these acronyms?

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

im such a big fan of the linda public school vs homeschool debate i think its a really interesting conflict, because obviously roman was homeschooled and it wasnt really beneficial towards him (which virgil could probably sympathise with regarding all of his mortal friends being terrified of him briefly), BUT also trying to tell logan or even patton that public school is the best option for their fae child is so obviously gonna be a problem, and then even when roman saw how logan was treated he didnt see how young it started and how much it was ingrained in him that he was wrong, and virgil didnt really see any of the worst of it so trying to commicate why its such a concerning idea is going to require bringing up some unpleasant things. but ALSO linda is not logan ((is it fair projecting his experiences onto linda or by trying to protect her are they gonna cause a complex anyway where she internalises being fae is wrong?)) or roman or patton or virgil and either choice could be uniquely beneficial or damaging just based on how she responds to her environment, which is impossible to actually determine without some trial and error, and id bet good money they dont want to risk the "error" part at all

just a very cool and interesting debate i feel, i enjoy how everyone has so many reasons to be so emotionally invested

thank you so much, you get exactly the vibe i was going for. the dichotomy of roman and virgil who were so so lonely as children due to isolation, versus logan and patton who were so hurt because of bullying, putting them in two very different camps as to what's best for their kid, makes it SUCH a hard conversation to have. they pretty much start having it the moment she's born and it continues for the next two years, and its the closest to genuinely angry they ever really get with each other. because theyre all really stubborn, but they rarely disagree on something this important so vehemently.

compounded by the fact that they dont yet know if she's going to age more like a fae or a human, and that being a visibly-6yo in middle school would theoretically make that issue exponentially worse

tentatively, im thinking that she will be homeschooled until she goes to college, and also that thats kind of one of the reasons why she doesnt do as well as she hoped. she had structure (in a house full of autistic people, you bet she had structure) but also a lot of freedom over dictating that structure, and the freedom to deviate from it when she needed to (in house full of ADHD people, you bet she was allowed to go run around in the yard whenever she needed a break).

so in college the combination of 1. less structure in the sense that she has less support network and people to hold her accountable and 2. less freedom in the sense that you can leave whenever you want in college, but the class doesnt stop and wait for you to come back, means she doesnt have the skills to make it really work for herself, especially compounded with the fact that she's emotionally much less mature than her peers

and that fucking sucks, for her and for LAMP. because you can debate for years, and you can do your best, and you can do everything right, and your kid might still wind up with baggage because of something you did. something you did and believed in your heart of hearts was the best thing for them.

the world is big and full of sharp things and you cant actually wrap your kid in bubble wrap. the bubble wrap is also full of sharp things, in this metaphor that immediately ran away from me.

all you can do is just keep stocked in bandaids, and hold their hand while you put it on.

[reorientation]

zyn anon. sorry to spam your dms, i just have some updates i can't really share elsewhere lmao. only one of my irls know im fucking this boy but she doesn't know it was for nicotine pouches lmao

im not even "exchanging" my "services" for zyns anymore. i didn't like them at all, but id still occasionally ask for a tin or two here and there. to not let it get to his head ☺️. a month and a half later im just doing it for free 😒 he makes jokes now that im not even fucking him for product. and jokes that he got me addicted to him instead. so you were right about me becoming a budding addict for a straight mans cock.

we never had a convo about us being official, but he made it clear early on that he wants to be the only guy fucking me rn. i asked if he sleeps around with other girls, and he said he doesnt need to when im so eager for him. :/. he calls me his girlfriend in front of his roommate and gamer friends, too. but not to people we know mutually.

he's also a lot more affectionate now. we've been on an actual date, it was surprisingly romantic and really sweet, and not just me blowing him in his car. though I did after but that's not the point.

i pretty much dress exclusively femininely outside of our programs unisex uniform, i used run errands in boymode but im not even doing that anymore. i have a chosen name that can be shortened into something kinda feminine sounding so he just calls me that. even in front of classmates who dont know i have a pussy, and one that hes been inside of. and the "nickname" is catching on with our classmates too lol.

z anon. forgot to include the update. sorry, i ramble a lot.

i skipped my last two T shots ☺️ im still waiting on my iud appointment in a few weeks. unfortunately this also means i havent really been letting him inside me as often, since im still really scared of pregnancy especially this early on in this weird situation. i am blowing him a lot though lol. it's a win win for me since being on my knees for him with his cock down my throat is so damn hot, especially when he's kinda fucking my face and pulls my hair during it. but fuck its probably been at least a week since his cocks been in me and i miss it. a lot lol. hes so manly and strong, i miss how feminine i feel when im under him. his body would just inadvertently pin me in place, im painfully aware of how small and feminine i am in comparison to him. how truly heterosexual it all is.

but i cannot trust myself bro like i know even if i insist on him using a condom ill end up asking for him to take it off. if he doesnt outright refuse. and like it's so difficult because that turns me on more. i know ill end up having his dick in me sometime before I get my iud, i just gotta be responsible and power through the demons.

im still dysphoric through this situation, especially since stopping T and the fear of like. the few times hes cum in me before havimg a little more serious consequences. despite taking plan b after each time. but the horny part of my brain has never been happier. whenever i feel like backing out, i send him nudes or text him smth risky just for extra self encouragement. but he's on a camping vacation thing rn with his family, and the service is shit and i miss him 🥺 even outside of sex.

like I want to become his girlfriend, truly. and that would have me become a girl for him. which basically means becoming a girl fulltime. i guess that would actually just be going back to being a girl. all for a straight boy 🤦🏻

its hugely dysphoric but kinda nice, like a part of me hates how he's so much bigger and way more masculine than me without any effort, even outside of us having heterosexual sex. i get so dysphoric that he's taller, bigger, way stronger and just so clearly male. but apparently, i enjoy being a girl for him more than i hate it.

(Previously)

You know, Anon, this is awfully romantic.

I mean, listen to yourself. You got into this as a whore, offering to suck his dick for discounted nicotine pouches, but now you're pining over him, and wanting to be a proper girl so that you can be his girlfriend. You're definitely still a whore, but you're a whore with a heart of gold.

Not a smart whore, though. So scared of pregnancy, but you stopped your T before getting on real birth control, knowing that you can't stop yourself from begging for his bare cock. You're so desperate to be a good girl for him that you're consciously ramping up the risk of having his baby, just so that you can return to full femininity a little sooner.

You know, I got this anon after your last ask:

They're not quite right, in that this first update doesn't include a pregnancy announcement. But it's been a bit since you sent me this, and reading what you sent me, it's not hard to imagine you having already gotten started on the path to being a cute little baby mama to your straight boyfriend.

But even if you haven't... You're never going to be able to forget what this was like, will you? Losing your virginity to a straight man, and so easily losing your identity with it. Being pinned down by him with your legs spread and his bare cock in your pussy. The simple force of a man on top of you, and how simple it was to slip back into womanhood and welcome him in.

[spamsandsuch]

since i havent posted anything gaster related in, well, idk how long but its been a long time, i decided to prolly to give an update thats been in my au for awhile but i never actually posted abt it for some reason

so instead of two gasters now theres three. Rather than following the alternative gaster route it relates more to the shard theory now. Heres some concept art i drew recently

rough info under cut

One shard is “Aster” (first; renamed Aster because just calling him wingdings got kinda old and confusing)  and while he has a shard in their soul his body is a physical vessel part of the game (aka hes like a normal lightner that can interact w/ both light and dark world. I refrain from calling it the “real world” cuz the point of utdr is that its a game). He doesnt know this though and has no prior memories after “waking up” for the first time in the game, but they know something is up and thinks the dark worlds has something to do with it (hence why he is holding experiments relating to them). He sucks major ass though cuz he doesnt think of them or darkners as “real” and treats them as such bcuz he doesnt think their actions hold major consequences when interacting w/ darkners/darkworlds 

Second shard (middle) is currently unnamed (tho that may change) and is half physical and half part of the void (but how physical its body is fluctuates). He knows their reality is a game and is pretty content with that. He barely remembers his previous life but doesnt question it — he knows he just is, not what, why, or how. Because of that, he doesnt care what people call him because it doesnt matter much in the grand scheme of things. While knowledgable in many things, he also easily forgets things too as he sometimes has trouble recalling certain things. He also doesnt entirely understand emotions, but it knows he likes seeing or making living things happy so he is often kind to others. He is also well intentioned and genuine, but sometimes doesnt understand what may be good for others to hear. Because of this, he is willing to casually share with others the knowledge that the world is a game to the few people who know its existence, but doesnt recognize that this may be scary information to some. It is also the same gaster that convinced Jevil the world is a game.

Third one and last shard is also nameless (again, this may change) and completely part of the void—meaning, in the light and dark world he doesnt exist, but can still visit them. He cannot interact w/ anything, though, which he finds frustrating esp when observing the other two gasters. He has more memories of his previous life than the second gaster, but its still few as well as scattered—most of the time he cant make sense of them, which is also frustrating. His form is also never constant, but he struggles w/ coping with the inconsistency of his body so he tries to form like the other two gasters whenever he can to maintain his sense of self. He also knows the world is a game (for obvious reasons) but still recognizes that consequences that occur in the game have weight — whether negative or positive. As such, he has a stronger sense of judgement and morality when it comes to others but cannot act upon the majority of things because he barely exists — which is also something hes frustrated with; because he cant interact w/ the world, he concludes he’s incapable of guiding or helping others. The only other being he can actually communicate w/ is the second gaster, he later finds out though; as a result, he often sticks to hanging out with the second gaster for company and also because seeing Aster’s actions make him feel sick. Additionally, he feels a weird sense of kinship with lightners and darkners for some reason — but especially darkners. He sorta almost sees them as his children, but doesnt entirely know why. 

[yourstrulyray]

s4 beginning prediction + hetty power because im going insane :3c (warning it's very yapful)

nigel temporarily goes back to the shed because hes still not over the wedding (isaac lied about the "he understands" thing to make him not look like a total failure in front of the other ghosts) and sorta just. mopes. theres a possibility jenkins would be involved but idk 🤷‍♂️

thor and flower's wedding wouldve probably been being prepared... only if, isaac were there. he'd been gone for a while, which brought concern among the ghosts, they thought he mightve went to properly apologize to nigel but its been over half a day so everyone thinks he went missing. one of them visits the shed to see if isaac was there (lets use pete as a placeholder because hdjsnf im too lazy to type). nigel explains that isaac never went to the shed, or knew where he was, or cares, which confuses pete because isaac told them he reacted fine. then boom miscommunication-while-the-other-is-absent situation, blalala pete continues by saying isaac has been suspiciously gone for a little over 12 hours already, which then does concern nigel (finally)

thor is super stoked for the wedding but flower says she doesnt want to wed until they find isaac. this sort of irritates thor because he wants to get married as soon as possible, just to prove how loyal he is and how much he loves flower, but she puts friends first. thor and flower go on a minor respite (haha get nisaac'd) because of this

its almost the end of the day but they still cant find isaac. one of the ghosts suggests he got sucked off, but that's just too much to handle (especially for nigel), so sasappis suggests that maybe the puritan ghost isaac let go of that one time kidnapped him for revenge. also diabolical, because she probably got sucked off. buuut that doesnt mean she did, riiight??

so

yeah. they decided on that. but there's NO way in heaven nor hell are any of them gonna walk through dirt. this is where my prediction for hetty's ghost power will come in: echolocation. you know how telephones were used to, well, talk to people from far away? and also phones from her time ring loudly? well I think that when she expresses a very strong emotion or uses enough strength like thor, it triggers a ringing sound and gives off a "feeling" of someone's prescence/where a person is. im thinking maybe she could use this power to find isaac through the dirt, but honestly she might end up finding patience instead. theres a chance. but oh well !!!!

also another minor/side quest thing, im hoping hetty brings nigel along with finding isaac. given their previous beef in s2, i think they'll have a mini arc where they both just accept the fact that isaac loves them both equally, and no one is more important to him than the other, allat stuff. also putting each other to risk because, well, theyre in the dirt they cant see shit. hoping that during their traverse under the ground they'll both learn to value each other ,,,,,okay thats just cheesy

now i have no idea what will happen when they find isaac. but its exciting to think of it‼️‼️

[liverpool-enjoyer]

hey yall forewarning this is easily the most embarrassing post ive ever made on here. like im not talking normal levels of tumblr cringe/oversharing, i mean youre probly gonna judge me and think somethings genuinely wrong with me. but i really need to get it off my chest so. yolo.

also tldr at the end in case you wanna spare yourself lmao.

mkay so recently i havent been online, because ive been really sad. and the reason im sad is that gavi got a girlfriend. which i realize is probly the stupidest and most juvenile thing to be sad over but hear me out (or dont lmao its a free country do whatever you want).

its not like i ever thought i had a chance with him or anything, im not stupid. but ive known for a very long time that, due to my asexuality (and other things but mostly that), i am never going to have love in my life. so for me, daydreaming and fantasizing about being gavis girlfriend was like,,, how i coped, i guess. it was a form of escapism for me. and now i cant do that anymore bc hes someones boyfriend and fantasizing abt another girls boyfriend just feels wrong. and pathetic.

it doesnt help that all my social medias have algorithmed so that hes all over all my feeds. and to be honest, looking at him just makes me think of his beautiful girlfriend who has everything i could ever want and i feel this horrible awful nauseating feeling in my stomach and i feel envious and sad and a slew of other things. it sucks that someone who once unknowingly made me so happy now does the exact opposite but hey what can you do.

i know it sounds stupid, but i dont think i'll ever feel for someone the way i feel about him. hes the most beautiful person ive ever laid eyes on and oh God i was right this does sound stupid ok lets continue

oh and let me be clear (you hafta read that in obamas voice) im aware that feeling this way toward a complete stranger (or anyone for that matter, but like especially a complete stranger) is EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY. unfortunately, knowing that my feelings and thoughts are unhealthy doesnt stop me from having them.

so yeah. now that ive lost my form of escapism, all i can think about at any given moment is how lonely im going to be. its hard to enjoy much of anything these days when all im thinking about is how im never going to receive romantic love, and now i cant even daydream about dating gavi to cope with it. because all i can think about when i try to is how hard his girlfriend would laugh if she found out some pathetic worm halfway across the world was fantasizing about her man.

so yeah thats it. i know that every time i angst abt my asexuality (which is a LOT like holy shit why do ppl still follow me), my friends tell me that its ok because im going to find someone someday. and i appreciate it, i really do. it means the world. but my friends saying that i'll find love doesnt make it true. plenty of people have died alone and unloved before, and i am going to be one of them.

tldr: a guy ive never met got a girlfriend n im having a depressive episode abt it LMAOOOO

[karoochui]

I just wanted to say I am so enamoured with Binary Insurgence! I eat up everything, every little crumb, you drop about it and the entire idea is so interesting to me! I'm so in love with stories and worlds like this! I'm also curious to know about the relationship between Sun and Moon, if it's alright to ask. How was it before the fire compared to after? Does their relationship begin to mend (because I'm certain over the years it deteriorated) when y/n comes back into the picture? If any of this is too spoilery or you just haven't fleshed it out yet then you don't have to answer! I'm just super curious about the boys and how you see their dynamic/relationship. I just look forward to seeing how their bond has grown and/or broken and how it may be mended over time.

AHH im glad you like it so much!! Im happy to talk about what i've got, but you are right not everything is fully fleshed out. I have points i wanna get to but while im brainstorming and planning i make up a lot of stuff as i go and then go over it again later to see if i like it or can connect stuff in any way. I have 3 chapters for Arc 1 fully summarized as of now! (Which probably doesn't seem like a lot but i like my chapters long, so it's quite a bit actually).

I wanna say, too, that i'm planning for the first story to be more in the perspective of the reader, so most things about Sun and Moon's personal thoughts and feelings are gonna be more implied than said. I might have some switching points of view, i'm not sure, but i haven't found a place i'd do it or think it's relevant. The sequel is gonna be more from their perspective since it'll mostly be about them.

NOW! I see Sun and Moon as brothers, so they really treat each other in a way that's like that. Before the fire they get along pretty well. Most instances of issue would be when Moon blocks out Sun when he fronts, or just mutual panic over the fact Moon lost his shit w/ the virus. They'll have their disagreements about things (i havent planned specifics yet) but generally they're chill. Sun just worries about Moon hurting people, but Moon worries too. With the way the virus functions in this AU it's hard for Sun to fully fault Moon for what he does, especially because he's also affected by it but not nearly as bad. (I'm gonna explain this more in another ask i have).

Plus, even before the virus they were always glitch/bug-ridden because technicians fucked up their programming continuously after removing them from the theater to work in the daycare. So they had to kinda navigate through that together, glitches and errors on both ends (though not deadly). They hate P&S bc of this, obviously. Hardware fixes suck but they fucking HATE software examinations.

Later on though some issues come into play whenever Sun starts getting worse by being further exposed to the virus (it gets worse for him when they eclipse) because it presents itself in Sun differently than it does Moon. He gets snappier and angrier at times (that comic i made that's captioned "well someones snappy") and while they both understand he doesnt mean the shit he does it's still not great. And nobody's gonna just let themselves be talked to like a dog even if the reason it's happening is because of something the other person can't really help. They're still relatively fine at this point, though.

It's at the end when shit goes really bad, because this part of the story does end badly. I won't spoil specifics but after the fire Sun loses his shit. He starts trying to put the blame on Moon for everything (the virus enhancing his already bad habits/fucking with his line of thinking) out of grief and anger. That carries over into the apocalypse and he just gets worse in general. He gets irrational.

It's a long period of time though, so he eventually also manages it, in his own way. But! I did say before in an ask that in the sequel he's "not evil, persay, but he's a fucking nut". He damns Moon to an hourglass to just fucking get rid of him about 100~ years before they meet you again (he fully thinks he's in the right for this (and he also just hates him) and the only reason he really even stayed around after that was to make sure Moon didn't get out again). He's not a bad-intentioned individual, but he's off the fucking wall at many times bc of the virus having made him worse. He's stubborn as all hell to an infuriating degree, he's irrational, hard-headed, reckless, and while a good bit of his old, kinder self is still pretty prevalent he can be downright fucking mean if provoked. Again, worse than before, and it doesn't take much these days! I always imagined him to have more dramatic, snappy, diva aspects to his personality (even before Help Wanted 2 came out) bc hes so theatrical and intense, so basically take a Sun that's like that, crank it up to 100 and put him in a Bad Situation. That's what Round 2 Sun is like at his worst. He's not a complete lost cause though, and he's far from dumb when he does stuff, just clouded by his own judgement. He doesn't think anything's wrong with him (or does he?).

Moon doesn't really hate him like Sun hates Moon, because although he knows that what happened (the ending of the first story) is technically both of their faults he just feels guilt. They do fight a lot, though. Most of it is Moon trying his best to tell Sun that he's basically full of shit and not seeing things right after Sun starts something, but Sun's at the point where he's gotta learn by consequence. Part of the reason he's so bad is bc 1: hes been infected by the virus for so long now and 2: in his grief, anger, and resentment he's learned to live with it rather than fighting it.

But the sequel is gonna be a feel-good story! Falling in love w/ the reader all over again, i want things to get cleared up - or at least some kind of middle ground between Sun and Moon - the whole sha-bang.

[fictionfixations]

wasnt planning on making a post but im doing it now so uh

helluva boss the full moon episode (i dont remember which one it was. s2 ep8?? i think? idk)

(i just realized i said 'hazbin hotel' my bad. if i make a mistake like that uhh oops)

and yall are stolas defenders so im gonna talk about blitz (dont get me wrong i love both of them)

let me talk about it

(i dont know if i make any sense so oops)

notice how during stolas' proposal basically (cant help but see the gem as like a wedding ring ngl) blitz's eyes are shining because he cant help but hope

and then when he goes 'ohh youre just fucking with me right? this is some roleplay shit right?'

because its so incomprehensible in his mind that this is what he truly thinks it is.

anyway people have explained before about how stolas then proceeds to shut him out like being faced with blitz being in denial about it and taking it as a rejection

meanwhile blitz is like 'wait a second you were SERIOUS?'

and then hes like 'wAIT' because hes trying to understand. to comprehend that stolas was being real about it. that someone wants him. but then he doesnt have the time to think about it because stolas is leaving and he doesnt want stolas to leave

and yknow how blitz is hes kind of an asshole so then he defaults to being angry and frustrated. (i wonder if he feels like he'll only be heard by being angry and yelling. or if by being angry, by shutting people out and being the one to break it off makes blitz feel more in control. anyway-)

no but listen before this hes like 'what the fuck?' stolas leaves, blitz follows him in silence still in that confused and hella surprised state because it was so unexpected while stolas' talking about stuff

hes silent for awhile (probably trying to make sense of it while half-listening)

and then stolas is like 'thats enough to know what this is' and THEN blitz gets all angry and yelling

and inside hes just like. ..thats it? but its like. stolas is going to leave. and he doesnt want him to go. but he also doesnt know how to express that (especially with stolas having completely shut him out at this point in his own feeling, so set in the rejection without realizing that blitz hadnt actually rejected it. had been in disbelief instead of an actual no. and i get why he didnt stay to continue the conversation it just. sucks. so bad.)

("Can I get a fucking minute to think" got stuck in my head) and then blitz gets angry and blames stolas because thats whose infront of him. someone he can yell at and get angry which is so much easier then trying to decipher his feelings, or stolas' feelings. to try to understand. to be vulnerable especially in front of someone who he may like but its also complicated considering the power imbalance, or how all royals are asses so surely stolas cant be different, how its just a transactional relationship and nothing serious.

hes also saying things he doesnt necessarily mean meanwhile stolas is taking it to heart like 'this is how he really feels about me' when that isnt true (blitz is kind of just making excuses. and instead of being 'set free' as it might seem to stolas, it seems to him like stolas is just. throwing him away. getting bored of him. hes ignoring the love confession stolas just says 'i want you' PLEASE be more blunt about it oh my god theres so many wordings that i have an issue with from stolas im going to be honest.

like LISTEn he goes 'i want you'. blitz is in denial. stolas then starts to acceptance/resignment and blitz is like 'wait a fucking second'

so blitz who thought they were going to have a sexy time. suddenly gets hit with feelings out of the blue. and he doesnt do good with those. and its so incomprehensible that he doesnt believe it. and then basically stolas rejects him right after with blitz realizing 'wait you were serious?' and then gets angry like 'what? no, it can't be over. ..well fuck YOU then!' like. he kind of feels betrayed? like 'how dare you spring this feelings bullshit on me (and then LEAVE)'

also is he projecting? has he experienced something??? and i really dont think hes had the chance to properly process so he's just shoving it aside and focusing on the then and now. which is stolas leaving and dismissing him which blitz takes offence to and accuses him of being like all the other royal assholes. because he doesnt know how else to communicate. this is not to say that he isnt an asshole because he is, but id like to say that theres reasons to all of it.

ALSO ALSO. i think its less that blitz believes stolas to be like that but (besides reasoning to himself that stolas is just like all the others so he can distance himself and cut ties even if it hurts) that its because thats the position stolas has and so its what he turns to for insults. i had more to say about this part but i already forgot, oops.

and ive seen people talk about this too but stolas conversing through words while blitz converses through feelings. so its like for blitz youre not meant to listen to what hes saying but to listen to the feeling? meanwhile stolas being through words (thus probably feeling like 'i want you' is explanation enough while blitz needs more clarification then that)

and potentially with stolas being all horny around him cause haha my crush is here and hes hot and i love him and aaah making blitz think stolas just wants him because of what he can offer? (and maybe if hes never faced love that its unrecognizable? especially towards him?) a thought to go onto another time

also another thought to go down. you think after blitz realizes hes serious that hes trying to coomunicate. with the 'can i get a FUCKING moment to think'

and then his mouth goes on autopilot and starts insulting him trying to stall trying to get him to stay even if its with hurtful words because thats what hes used to thats what he does (also defaulting to anger)

just like yelling at him trying to get stolas to just stop walking. to stop turning his back on him.

and hes just running on anger at that point because he didnt get too long to process that stolas was serious so a part of him still thinks that its just. not real? and hes running off of that because again its so much easier than being vulnerable with someone

blitz has. probably been very trustful of someone, only for them to betray him and hurt him and use him so ahdishfu

also probably blitz's attempt at trying to get them to actually communicate

to get him to stop. stand still. stop leaving. stop moving. just turn around, face him, and talk. to get all their feelings out and explain. to clarify.

maybe he even wants stolas to get angry because that's what he's used to. wants him to get angry so they can get it all out there. maybe wants a part of him to feel vindicated of 'he was right, stolas was an asshole', the part of him that doesnt want to be close to anyone in fear of being hurt

..and then stolas doesn't react how blitz expects him to. (because they DONT understand each other at all! they don't interact all that much outside of sex, and stolas offering it to blitz is rejected)

blitz realizing 'wait... shit...' to wheres hes immediately brought out of his anger by stolas' words

'goodbye'

also it almost sounds like blitz is saying 'Stolas, wait I'm s-' as in 'im sorry'

realizing it wasnt going as he expected it to. that stolas really was serious. that stolas was hurt. that stolas was going to actually leave and blitz. doesnt. want that to happen. so then he. tries.

and then goes 'what the fuck' when he appears outside

and honestly sometimes a lot of relationships need space from each other to realize who they are without them. and also to realize how much they care about the other, yknow? to understand their feelings without anything else complicated thrown into the mix.

listen: blitz could go back into complete denial like 'no fuck stolas actually-'. realize he misses stolas, actually.

cause i feel like he really did try at the end only to get shut out (its a really complicated situation because ive also seen people talk about how blitz yelling could remind stolas of stella(?) i think the person he divorced)

and it could be seen as rejection of him trying to do feelings talk. which he could double down on his 'no one can love you, itll only bring you hurt' idea, or bringing other people hurt (as in his mother's death or fizz getting hurt)

but i feel like he also needs time to just realize things. to think things through instead of being faced with immediately having to respond because theyre talking face to face. immediately having to respond because stolas is leaving and if he doesnt say anything then that'll be it.

its complicated. honestly, though. i feel like its for the better for them to have this break. to rebuild their life without the transactional relationship. i just wonder how they'll get back together (daughter plotting time? maybe?)

i wonder if hell has therapy. (...but also. what if the therapists were corrupt and didnt hold any form of patient privacy???)

hh

anyway i dont know if i made sense. ive just had these thoughts stuck in my head so ive just been spewing out all the ones related to this so i could stop thinking about it

a;sp a;sp o hjavej oirhfrj

holyfuck ok

also also i have more to add

okay so you know stolas' line of 'you have no obligation to touch me or to bed me'

you know what that sounded like with loona having told blitz 'hes getting tired of you'

it sounded like stolas didnt want blitz to basically touch him anymore. which is probably blitz' interpretation of it and thus his anger of 'you think you can do this shit just because im an imp and youre a royal?' or whatever (hes not even touching the fact of the gem. its 'am i not good enough? i can do better!' because the book was the only reason in his mind why he could interact with stolas. and just. aghhh)

any more thoughts im shoving here in the future before i get more brainrot over this