#i know these are such obvious choices but it was this or blue bird | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lonelywretchjervistetch · 4 months ago

Text

The State Birds Initiative: Delaware (#1)

Welcome to the first official poll of the State Birds Initiative! Now, before the poll, one thing real quick. My suggestion is that you read the post below before voting in the poll below. That's especially important if you're lacking any context about the birds being presented as the new (or old) State Bird of the First State, Delaware. This is to be fully informed as to why these are being presented, and to make your choices appropriately. Lastly, some of these birds, you will notice, go against some of the rules listed in the introduction post. All is explained after the jump where the explanations are, I promise you that. But with that...OK! Here's the poll!

More details after the jump!

Welcome to Delaware, the First State!

Admitted into the Union in 1787 as the first state of this country, Delaware is the nation's second smallest, giving it the additional nickname "the Small Wonder"! Its capital is Dover, its most populous city if Wilmington (pictured above), and it's best known for its proximity to the Delaware River and the Delaware Bay, which it's actually named after. This does mean that Delaware Bay, for various reasons, will be one of the most important features of this post, since the wildlife that gathers around it is pretty ubiquitous in the state.

But OK, enough grade-school reporting of basic state statistics. What's Joe Biden's home state actually like, from the view of the citizens? On reddit, a user named hajisaurus said that Delaware is like a small town, but as an entire state. Compact, but eventful and familiar. Another user, raycooke, referred to it as the US condensed into miniature, with business in the north, beaches in the south and east, and farms in the middle. But the general vibe, it seems, is "familiar". Not overly friendly, but definitely close enough to be familiar. Also...the Bobbie.

God, that's a good looking sandwich. Invented in Delaware? Hell yeah. Anyway, off of turkey and onto birds. Personally, what all this says to me is that the chosen State Bird should be an easy-to-find sight, found throughout most of the state, and familiar to Delawareans in general. Something common but uniquely Delawarean would be great. In terms of habitat, water-bound seems appropriate, especially looking at beaches and estuaries. Again, the entire eastern border of the state touches the Delaware River or Bay, meaning water is somewhat important to the state (as is seafood).

Now, those Delawareans amongst us may have different opinions of what makes Delaware Delaware, and what represents its people most accurately. Which...yeah, I'm not from there, and I've only been there twice, and that's because I drove through it. Maybe went to one rest stop near Dover. And for the record, SOLID-ass rest stops in Delaware along the highway, just saying. Great job there, Delaware. But, yeah, PLEASE tell me if there's something else to take into account. And that goes for ALL of the states in this series, by the way. I can't claim to be an expert in any way here, so please call me on my bullshit if you feel that you have to. But, with that said, let's talk about what I do know: birds.

Red Knot (Calidris canutus)

For many of you, especially the bird-inclined amongst us, this was always going to be the obvious answer to this question. The Red Knot is an iconic Delaware bird for birdwatchers, as they're attracted to the state in MASSIVE numbers during migratory seasons. It's one of the most important and famous migrations in the country, and the flocks of Red Knots and other shorebirds are the main attraction. Why? Easy answer: the Atlantic Horseshoe Crab (Limulus polyphemus).

Delaware Bay is the site of the horseshoe crab's largest migration in the USA. This isn't the only place in the country they're found, but it's DEFINITELY the largest population of the species by a SIGHT. And speaking of iconic species, the horseshoe crab certainly fits the bill as a charismatic species of conservation concern. Which is why it may be curious that I'm highlighting the Red Knot, since they, y'know...EAT horseshoe crab eggs, alongside other birds in the great Atlantic seaboard migration. But that's actually why horseshoe crabs are so important.

Red Knots, amongst other shorebirds, depend on the horsehoe crabs for food, as these stopovers in Delaware Bay allow them to continue with their journey. Without the horseshoe crabs of Delaware, their life wouldn't be possible, and certainly not in the massive numbers found during migration. Understand, this is a threatened species, especially in the United States, that gathers in Delaware Bay in the thousands, with 2022 numbers being about 39,800 in a population. That's HUGE. The Red Knot is a symbol of this ecological boom, and both species should be celebrated. That's the reason the Red Knot is often given as the answer to this question of State Bird of Delaware, including by the Lab of Ornithology's article posted last year. Plus, it's got an iconic appearance, it's easy to find, and it tells a great story (which also includes a migratory distance of ~9,000 miles, which is crazy). Perfect, right?

...It doesn't breed in Delaware. It actually doesn't even breed in the United States. No, the Red Knot breeds in Nunavut and Greenland, above the limits of the Arctic Circle. I meant it when I said the Red Knot used Delaware as a stopover site. As such, it's an event when they arrive in Delaware twice a year...but they do leave. Pretty quickly, even. So, sure, the Red Knot is a great candidate for a number of reasons, but...is it OK if it doesn't actually breed in the state? I'd argue for it, since Delaware is is highest abundance of the species during migration in the country, and it's iconic in that way in particular. But I'll leave that as a question for you all to decide.

Let's go on to the next one, shall we?

Ring-billed Gull (Larus delawarensis)

OK, this one might be cheating a bit, since the bird in question is found basically...well, everywhere. It's definitely not native to Delaware alone, and doesn't even breed there. So why even include this bird in the running? Easy answer: it's in the name. It's the only bird species in the world with the state of Delaware in its scientific name. However, this is also cheating, since the name actually refers to the Delaware River, not the state itself. That's because the bird was first described and discovered along the river, which flows from New York, through New Jersey and Pennsylvania, until ending in Delaware and the Delaware Bay. And yeah...technically that was in New Jersey. BUT STILL! Only bird with Delaware in the name, just sayin'. And after all, if the Red Knot can be considered despite not breeding in the state, then...what about the Ring-billed Gull? Or...maybe I'll save this one for New Jersey.

American Kestrel (Falco sparverius)

OK, this one I'm actually a bit enthusiastic about, partially because I love raptors, and I especially love this raptor. The American Kestrel is a small falcon, and is in fact the smallest falcon (and raptor) in North America. About the size of a mourning dove, they're pint-sized predators, specializing on insects, rodents, lizards, and the occasional sparrow or songbird. They're also versatile, living all over the USA in various habitats. And that, of course, includes Delaware. This is a breeding species in the state, so it already has that above the other two previously discussed! And to top it all off...it's literally a small wonder. Come on, man! This is perfect! A scrappy falcon that's literally red, white, and grayish-blue!

But, OK, if it's common all over, why specifically Delaware? Because it's actually threatened in Delaware, fun fact. This is prominent enough to have inspired the Brandywine Zoo to work with the American Kestrel Partnership (part of The Peregrine Fund, who we'll discuss again on another day or five), and start the Delaware Kestrel Partnership, which monitors kestrel populations in the state. The species' population has decreased by 88% in Delaware and surrounding states in the last 50 years, which is...dramatic. It's a species that desperately needs saving and attention, and work in Delaware can be applied in the kestrel's entire range. Look, I beg you to check this out, because it's a fascinating set of projects. And honestly, this alone would have me include the American Kestrel on this list. Plus...that would also make this the first raptor to become a state bird.

Yeah. Take a look. NO raptors amongst the State Birds. Insane.

Great Blue Heron (Ardea herodias)

Now, this one seems out of nowhere, but hear me out. For whatever reason, the Great Blue Heron (Ardea herodias) seems to be completely ignored as a state bird across the entire country, despite it being one of the MOST iconic birds in the United States. I mean, come on, almost all of us have seen a GBH at some point in our lives, especially if we live near water. But why suggest it for Delaware specifically, then? Well, the herons breed in Delaware, so that's checked off. They're found in the state year-round, making them easy to access and identify with. They're definitely iconic in appearance. They highlight the marshlands and wetlands of Delaware as an important ecosystem of concern. And...uh...

Look, I'll be straight with you. "Blue Heron" is the closest I could get to...another set of words associated with Delaware and birds. Because honestly, it's genuinely somewhat difficult to separate Delaware from those two words, and this would be a fairly minor change that would allow the use of that term with little fuss! And honestly, the Great Blue Heron isn't the worst choice in the world for Delaware, even if it admittedly barely breeds in the state compared to others. And...like...oh, goddammit, fine, let's get this over with.

Delaware Blue Hen (Gallus domesticus)

Delaware. Look at me. Why...in the blue HELL...did you choose a goddamn chicken as your state bird? I mean, for God's sake, it's not a wild bird, and even if it is a breed developed in the state, IT IS A CHICKEN! What possible reason could there be to choose this bird over all the other possible birds? And look, I like chickens as much as the next guy. Used to raise and keep them as a kid, so I do love them, but this just feels wrong. But OK, let's make the argument for them by looking at Delaware's original argument.

So, from basic cursory research, the Delaware Blue Hen dates back to the Revolutionary War. Apparently, one of the regiments of the American army raised fighting game chickens that were so well-known, the regiment itself became known as the "Blue Hens". It's also possible that the leader of this regiment, Jonathan Caldwell, had a special blue hen that had blue offspring, and the men in the regiment also took to calling themselves "Sons of the Blue Hen." Which means...shit. That means the Blue Hen actually has cultural relevancy specific to the state of Delaware. Damn, that's actually a good argument for their assignment. But with that said...there actually is a problem here.

The Delaware Blue Hen doesn't technically exist.

Yeah, this isn't actually a recognized breed of chicken, despite the INSANE amount of devotion Delawareans have for it. I mean, military regiments, sports teams, even the unofficial nickname for the state is named after the Blue Hen, and it's technically not a real chicken breed. Instead, they're actually American Game hens that are crossed with Andalusian Blue hens to get that iconic coloration, but they're not actually an isolated breed.

So...what does this mean? Because this is genuinely a problem, right? Delaware's state bird doesn't actually exist, AND it's a chicken. Well...I have a proposition for you, Delaware. Because I do recognize the fact that the Blue Hen seems to mean a lot to you, both now and historically. So, if that's the case, we need to recontextualize this guy in a couple of ways. So, here's my proposition...

Make the Delaware Blue Hen the State Game Bird.

Haven't brought this up yet, but some states have what's called a "state game bird" alongside the actual state bird. Game birds, by the classical and nonscientific definition, are members of the Galliformes and Anseriformes that are associated with hunting and food. And technically...the chicken counts. Yeah, Delaware easily could ratify the Delaware Blue Hen into service as the State Game Bird, which makes even more sense when you consider its role AS A SPORTS MASCOT! See what I mean? But that's not the end of it.

You'll also have to find some way to get the hen recognized as an independent breed. I have NO idea what the process is for that (I guess this is the pathway to do it?), but it's probably gonna take a bunch of breeders and number of years to turn this into a defined breed. Hell, as it stands, not every chicken hatched to a Blue Hen is even blue. So, hey, get on it, Delawarean chicken breeders! Make you state proud!

And that's the information on the candidates for the Delaware State Bird! Will the Delaware maintain its place? Will the Red Knot take it, despite the controversy surrounding the choice? Will my bullshit proposal for the Great Blue Heron actually resonate with some people? Up to Tumblr!

As for the next state, it's time to hop next door to Pennsylvania, and to a State Bird that also technically doesn't exist...for a somewhat different reason. And yes, for the record, I know the below GIF is technically the wrong species, BUT MY CHOICES IN GIFS ARE FEW

See you soon, and happy birding!

Introduction to the State Birds Initiative

69 notes · View notes

comicaurora · 1 year ago

Note

Have you seen the new Superman show on adult swim? Himbo Clark Kent rights

It's off to an extremely encouraging start! Thoughts under the cut!

I like how they portray Clark's super-strength and how comfortable he is flying and using super-speed. They really feel like innate characteristics of his body rather than powers he switches on and off - things he keeps toned down when people are watching, but things that are always present regardless. The number of times I've pulled a push door or shoved something that was stuck and thought "if I had super-strength I wouldn't get a Take Two on this because my hand would've gone straight through that" is clearly something the showrunners have also thought about. This Clark lives in a world of cardboard and physically cannot stop himself from putting his hand through it at least once a day.

There's a physicality to the way Clark takes hits that really communicates how little he feels them most of the time. Eyes open, mouth closed, immediately getting back into the fight after getting punched into a crater. This is stuff I also think about when I draw supernaturally tough characters in combat situations, and it's cool to see someone else doing it - especially since one of my very few complaints about the older DCAU is that Superman always took every hit like it was a fully incapacitating blow, which Worf'd him pretty constantly.

I also like that we have so far never seen Clark angry. We've seen him scared, flustered, disappointed - but not angry. Even in fights where he's taking serious hits, he's only motivated by wanting to protect and save people, even his opponents - he so far has never been motivated by a desire to destroy. That feels like very good writing for Superman.

It's currently a little unclear how exactly his powerset is scaling - it looks like the blue-eye-glow-and-suit-emblem thing is a legitimate powerup that lets him hit harder and recover faster than his normal baseline, but how exactly that works isn't clear yet - although that is very obviously going to be a plot point later, since they keep giving him little flashes of the story of Krypton's destruction and what shenanigans they were getting up to when it exploded.

On that note, Kryptonian tech has never looked or felt so otherworldly. I love the distorted electronic backward-voice choir they use exclusively for when Clark is on the ship. I love that hologram Jor-El can't speak English, but can clearly understand Clark - also this is the coolest Jor-El has ever looked. Some comics wax poetic about how Clark is an alien space god who only pretends to be human, but I like how this show is firmly putting Clark on the side of the audience with regards to how unsettling the "alien space god" vibes truly are. He can't understand the nature of the ship or the words of its holographic inhabitant, he's not really interested in what it means or where it came from - he just wants to know who he is, or rather who Superman should be. And I like that he concludes that Superman should be him - the heroics he was already doing, except this time on purpose. Superman should not be this spooky glowing alien god thing, even if that's the vibe we get from Krypton itself.

I like that the ship gave Superman his modern no-underpants-on-the-outside suit and Ma Kent was like "we can do better than that" and added the underpants back on.

I also like how much setup there is for future plot stuff that a DC-familiar audience can see coming. Clark hasn't used any of his vision-based powers yet, and it's possible he doesn't know they exist. No sign of Lex Luthor or Kryptonite yet, two problems we know will become more severe with time. We've already got Amanda Waller being stoically nefarious in the background. Young Hot Deathstroke is a hell of a design choice and I am Here For It.

I also appreciate how many little referential jokes are packed into the dialogue, ranging from the obvious "it's a bird it's a plane" to some hella deep pulls like Jimmy Olson's youtube channel.

And fundamentally I love how this show starts from the jump with the thesis that friendly, humble, Normal Man Clark is the real person, and Superman is the job that Clark Kent does. The title of the show is "My Adventures With Superman." The POV character is Clark. He is the "my" in that title. This is Clark's story about Superman.

I really, really hope Batman eventually shows up, because this Superman would make that hilarious.

#asks #not aurora #media recs

410 notes · View notes

mc-lukanette · 1 year ago

Text

Luka headed down the sidewalk, taking his time to simply enjoy the sounds of the world around him. His father had given him first dibs on tickets to his next concert - just as Luka gave him first dibs on new guitars he made - but it didn't start for another hour, so he was free to take a walk to see if any inspiration struck.

As he rounded a corner and listened to the mixture of birds chirping, cars driving by, and his shoes against the sidewalk, the sound of footsteps quickly approaching hit his ears. He stopped in place, about to turn around to see what was wrong when a weight hit his back full-force.

"AH—!" came an alarmed female voice from behind him.

Luka stumbled forward, already anticipating his body falling onto the pavement when he felt two hands grip the back of his jacket. Apparently, whoever it was also overcompensated, because they pulled so hard in their attempt to "save" him that he was brought backwards instead.

The woman behind him grunted and Luka followed suit, the air leaving his lungs upon landing on what he could only assume was her lap. His vision blurred from the sudden movements and he could only imagine how she felt considering that she'd broken his fall.

"I-I'm sorry!" she cried out. Luka could feel her shifting underneath him as she started to sit up. "I was running late and I was in such a hurry, but that's no excuse to not look where I was—Luka?"

He stared as a face came into view above him. Mental clarity hit at the sight of his muse - the song in his head for almost a decade now - looking down at him. "Marinette?"

She helped him as he adjusted to push himself up, leaving them both sitting on the sidewalk and gazing at each other.

"I-it's been so long," she murmured, touching her heart. "Have you been doing....?"

Her voice trailed off as her eyes were drawn downwards. Luka could only guess that she was staring at her signature flower pattern tattooed on his arm, but he was too stunned himself to actually confirm that.

It had been hard to see earlier when the sun wasn't lighting up her face, but now it was obvious. Marinette's hair was dyed at the tips, and with his light blue color. If that weren't enough, her ladybug earrings had been replaced with dangling guitar picks marked with his symbol from Kitty Section: a dark blue lightning bolt outlined in pink.

He swallowed. He was dazed before, but now there was a rock concert going on in his chest. He'd carried his crush on her for years despite having thought that they might not cross paths again, and now she was apparently carrying him with her as well.

"...Ah—" He tried to snap himself back into focus, remembering, "You said you were running late."

"Huh?" she asked, as if she'd forgotten. Then, clapping her hands in realization, she corrected, "Oh, um... yeah, but I was late to being early!"

He blinked, clueless.

"I've learned my lesson." Marinette straightened her back, hitting her chest proudly with a fist. "I don't take chances anymore with scheduling! I need to be ready for anything to happen!" She paused, growing embarrassed as her posture sunk back down. "...Like this."

"I'm not complaining," he commented, chuckling to lighten her mood. Knowing that it wouldn't make her uncomfortable given her choice of appearance, he also added, "...I missed you."

Her lips wobbled with emotion. "I missed you too. I felt so bad about not having time for much of anything or anyone, especially after I revealed that I was Ladybug."

Luka remembered it, even if he wasn't there to see it personally. The miraculouses had all been reclaimed, and she'd announced it on live TV before giving up her miraculous and status as guardian. She'd revealed her double life to the world as well, feeling that it would be irresponsible to simply throw away everything (whether good or bad) that'd happened as Ladybug as if it wasn't a part of her.

Of course, the decision also required her to distance herself from everyone to readjust, both from the sudden spotlight on her and the obvious memory loss. Luka didn't know everything except for three key details that Juleka had relayed to him:

Her memories as Ladybug or doing anything for the sake of Ladybug were entirely gone, her relationship with Alya - specifically after she'd broken up with him - had massive gaps in them, and she couldn't remember why she'd broken up with him at all.

The implications weren't lost on him, and the light blue dye in her hair told him that it was at least a questionable decision not to pursue it.

"It's still a blur." She rubbed her forehead, squinting in distress. "I really don't remember any of it personally: I just read what was in my diary. It was such a mess trying to cope with some second life I don't have any memory of, and once I got myself my life and my work together, I didn't even know who to trust or who was really giving me business for me."

"I never blamed you for it." Luka shrugged, the idea of blaming a teenager for having the weight of the world on her shoulders was insane to him. Sympathetically, he added, "And you're not the only one who had problems."

"...I'm not?" She frowned at him, seeming equally supportive, then scooted closer to him and placed a hand on his thigh. "Is it because of your dad?"

He hummed affirmatively. "Dad wanted to show me off eventually, and once that happened I never knew who asked for me and who asked for me because of my dad." He shook his head, unpleasant memories coming back to him as he rubbed at the tattoo on his arm. "I always thought about checking on you, but with how fresh both of our reveals were, I didn't want to cause any more 'news' for you."

She stiffened, taking her hand off of his leg. "What? Wait, really?" She pointed back-and-forth between the both of them, then snorted. "Me too!"

Oh.

Luka couldn't help snorting along with her. It must've looked silly to anyone else, seeing two grown adults sitting on the sidewalk and laughing about old times and silly decisions, but they were already off in their own little world, too taken with each other to think about it.

He hadn't interacted with Marinette due to being out of the country for so long, and after that was when she was still dealing with the fallout of her reveal. He never got to truly take in how she'd been feeling from all the vague details he'd both seen and been given, but now he finally could.

She was positively glowing, a woman who finally had all her instruments playing to the same tune. He thought he couldn't love her song anymore, yet here they were, and a tiny, selfish part of him was absolutely preening himself that he took up such a notable part of it.

"Okay, that's it!" Marinette declared, pushing herself up to her feet. Hands on her hips, she puffed out her chest with determination. "We're way overdue to catch up! Are you busy?"

"No," his mouth immediately replied, brain supplying the unspoken rest that his dad would simply have to forgive him. He stood up to stand beside her, asking despite his enthusiasm, "Weren't you going somewhere though?"

"Hm?" Again, she seemed to have forgotten. Her lips parted in thought, followed by a sheepish laugh as she explained, "Oh, that? It... well, it wasn't really important actually—excuse me."

She looked around, then hurried away, flats clacking against the sidewalk as she approached a nearby garbage can. She dug into her purse with both hands, rifling around until she procured something that looked suspiciously like the ticket about to go unused in Luka's pocket.

Upon dumping it into the trash can, she turned to him, claiming, "Just, um, remembered that I had some garbage in my purse that I needed to take care of."

"It's alright." Luka didn't bother to suppress his grin, walking up to her to ask, "Where do you want to go?"

"Hm..." She tapped a cheek in thought, then suggested, "Anywhere? Maybe we could just... walk, and see what happens from there?"

"I like the sound of that." He tilted his head to encourage her to follow, turning to start walking again before a hand caught him.

"Wait!" She stepped to stand at his side, hands raised hesitantly. "...Can I take your arm?"

His heart was doing an encore now, pounding like a set of out-of-control drums, but he didn't let that stop him. He extended his arm to her, nodding in approval.

She bit her bottom lip in an adorably failed attempt to conceal her delight, fingers touching his arm gingerly at first as though she thought she might hurt him. Eventually, her hands settled along bits of her flower pattern on his arm, giving a gentle tug to encourage him along.

He kept up with her, walking side-by-side as all their plans for the rest of the day were left behind on the sidewalk.

#queuekanette #lukaneventte: No Context November #Flower Arrangement Shipping #Pro LukaMari #Lukanette

119 notes · View notes

stillness138 · 11 months ago

Text

Since there won't be any more expansions (and i'm a chronic procrastinator), i updated my personal top 10 Gwent card arts into a top 20, including the few sets that came since then and shuffling things around a bit.

It's a long one, hence the cut.

Personal top 20 Gwent card arts:

20: Bone Talisman by Bogna Gawrońska It's still the most festive looking thing i like. My beloved blue-and-bright red fidget spinner. I really can't explain my weird attachment to it any other way; i generally tend to like the item arts, maybe it's the collector brain, maybe it's because after Homecoming and most of the expansion sets since later 2019 onwards, these base set trinket adjacent arts became more prominent to me among a lot of new, more dramatic and bleak character and scenery art.

19: Ceremonial Dagger by Katarzyna Bekus The entire set of strategem arts from Merchants of Ofir is honestly packed, but the dagger is the one i found myself putting in my in-game profile the most. Maybe it's the item hoarder brain again, maybe it's the color scheme i find relatable if that makes sense, most likely it's the premium helping a bunch to make that choice too. The background weirdly fascinates me. Does it have anything to do with The Spiral? I have never attempted to really assign any logical meaning to the strategem arts, they're clearly more symbolic than anything, but it still makes you wonder.

18: Ard Gaeth by Katarzyna Bekus Somewhat related, here's another piece of wonky multiverse lore. And once again, it's the color that first grabs attention; the contrast of teal and this dusty red. Then one starts realizing the implied size and scope, the birds help with that, apart from being a cute composition detail. The shattery effect makes it look volatile, unstable, dangerous. Ominous. Which ultimately makes it fit with the rest of the Wild Hunt archetype in more than just lore.

17: Coup de Grâce by Lorenzo Mastroianni There are two wolves in me, one loves bright colors, the other actually enjoys a lot of the bleaker scenes. Although to be fair, Lorenzo Mastroianni is a big contributor to that. And it's no wonder, when he casually drops stuff like this. It's almost symbolic, lot less than strategems but certainly more than other, straightforward "war sucks" Gwent art. How do you visually represent something sad in a way that makes it hard to look away not just because of the tragedy but because of the beauty put into making that image? You ask Lorenzo Mastroianni, the modern classical artist, to do it.

16: Viper Witcher by Valeriy Vegera I once described Valeriy's art as "where Lorenzo uses a tight color palette, he uses every pencil in the case". This one is perhaps not as obvious an example, the whole piece has a very unified atmosphere especially from afar, but still, there are so many colors especially in textiles and skin. They're harder to register sometimes but it's how Valeriy does texture and shading. And somehow, he bridges the bleak and the colorful world too. Admittedly, this card also had to be here because mr. Viper is my son, and the voicelines are done by an actor with the nicest, smoothest bass i've heard since Peter Steele.

15: Naglfar's Crew by Anton Nazarenko I was surprised by how much i ended up liking this one. It's the implications, i think; enchanted to laboriously upkeep this monster of a ship, this 'and if you see it emerge from a breach in the sky, you know you're fucked' symbol of death and decay. It's dark in a way i find compelling, i guess.

14: Serpent Trap by Marta Dettlaff Back to the bright ones, i liked this art ever since i discovered it as Nature's Gift in post-Midwinter beta. The card saw play in Scoia'tael spell decks, and to me it became linked to Francesca Findabair for their shared spectral snake thing. But that all aside, the art is just so pretty. Vibrant, yet not oversaturated. And like the item arts, needed to balance out the cool and badass and the dramatic and tragic. Looking at it now, another point comes to mind; it's still grounded? The way Gwent art at large is grounded compared to other card games. Like it's not trying so hard (both this piece and the game's art in general). That's refreshing.

13: Chort by Bartłomiej Gaweł It reminds me of the first game's main menu. The Witcher 1 main menu is, to me, one of the most accurate representations of this universe, its atmosphere. Even if the "you kill cows, you get ambushed by the fucking baphomet" is a meme game mechanic, something about it is...witchery. Superstition, folk legends, and ultimately, monsters. Or that's my takeaway, anyway. But the Chort art, beside being on the more rare side in-game, has always weirdly drawn me in.

12. Oneiromancy by Lorenzo Mastroianni This was the Novigrad expansion key art before they turned it into a card, and i sure am glad they did. Lorenzo can get a bit weird, as a treat, someone said. Are they Condwiramurs and Corinne? Possibly! But i'll abstain from the schizo theories now. It's a gorgeous, well composed and executed surrealist piece. Inception if it had strong palpable atmosphere.

Denis Villeneuve > Christopher Nolan. but Lorenzo beats both

11: Funeral Boat by, you guessed it, Lorenzo Mastroianni One final yippee for the last card set. And my god it's beautiful. Tight composition can get surprisingly hard to coordinate and make decisions for, but this is so well-balanced. The left end of the boat is closer to the frame, but right side has the most noticeable color, the character's face, and of course the bird to even it out. As if to defend the title i gave him earlier, Lorenzo references Isle of the Dead in a way that, even if symbolic, fits into the universe perfectly. Someone stop me before i start rambling about similar concepts in different mythologies.

10: Dana Méadbh (now the token spawned by Call of Harmony) by Anna Podedworna The most famous Gwent artist enters the list. With a piece made around two, when you think about it very bold choices. The goddess of nature and life, glowing with inhuman light in a black and barren forest. Obscured by thin, bare tree trunks. But to make her emerge and stand out, that was necessary. And it's working wonders. A lot of the Scoia'tael faction is obviously green, all kinds of green, but even a simple choice like making it pop out of black makes the card art stand out among others.

9: Circle of Life by Oleksandr Kozachenko It has everything i usually look for in Gwent art; nature, color, atmosphere. A certain tranquility, perhaps. A little bit of story - the orange badge is the Kerack coat of arms. It's that environmental storytelling thing gamers keep talking about, complementing the character and faction drama of the rest of its card set.

There's a slightly changed, extended version, too, and somehow it's even better.

8: Gezras of Leyda by Bogdan Rezunenko As much as i tend to dunk on Bogdan for having played Blasphemous once and making it his entire personality, Gezras is easily the best school founder card art of the set. Once again, the choice to have these prominent arts on the more symbolic side paid off, and the result is a stalking nocturnal animal out for revenge, backed by a giant image of what simultaneously did him irrepairable harm and gave him the means to defend himself. The premium doesn't disappoint either.

7: Rioghan the Undying by Daniel Valaisis To nobody's surprise, the atmosphere, once again, got me hooked. I love the cold color, the dramatic flow, the big imposing silhouette of a ship in the background. Poor boy is the picture of misery. It's pure melancholy (something not that common in the Skellige faction by the way, which is a point in favor of Funeral Boat too), that i, of course, am inevitably drawn to.

he's just like me fr...

6: Witches' Sabbath by Michal Lisowski Did i craft this card already or not? The realist's complaint towards near-greyscale card art. I share this sentiment, if only for the comedy of it, but with a few notable exceptions, and this piece is the main one. The Robert Eggers comparisons were made already i'm sure, but it really is a take on the last good Witcher 3 quest with a dramatic, more dreamy, or you could say cinematic quality ramped up to 11. Gone is the fanservice present in the game and the unnecessarily grotesque depictions of fatness of other parts of this card set, and what remains is a beautiful, ominous callback to folklore and classical art.

5: Tinboy by Valeriy Vegera This is a baroque painting. The drama. Tinboy doesn't take that scarf off, ever. And here this poor soul is, their last will to live dragging it off him. On purpose? On accident? Probably both. The pattern marking Tinboy as a gang member staining with blood of a victim, something something symbolism. All in Valeriy's signature 'which pencil should i pick up next' style. Underrated piece.

4: Lara Dorren by Toni Muntean They finally got our girl. And once again, despite heartbreak, it's gorgeous. Soft, sweet colors with a necessary hint of melancholy (the lighting suggests it's sunset?), and a pure, painted quality without the need for texture assets. A scene like this is better left a comparatively simple and laid back tribute. Beyond the technicalities, i also really, really applaud Toni for the outfit design. This is the Aen Elle princess, dressed well but for the weather. And the fact her mostly blue clothes with yellow sleeves mirror Cregennan's yellow jerkin with blue details, and her red brooch above the heart might, beside contrasting with the blue, very well reflect his fatal wounds... well. As much as death on card art isn't always done the best, Lara is represented together with that which mattered to her the most. Despite being categorized among the Wild Hunt, she remains herself.

3: Lydia van Bredervoort by Igor Klymenko The joy i felt when this was the art of Lydia they managed to get into the game. It's easily one of the best contest pieces and on par with the best Gwent has to offer - it has mood, and that ever present air of groundedness, realism, and in that, unfortunate tragedy. But similarly to Lara, it shows Lydia being her own person; doing what she loved and was good at without sight of Vilgefortz despite her being known as his ever loyal assistant. Likewise, it doesn't sensantionalize her condition, but references it in a subtle, tasteful, and even clever way. I also love her dress and the overall color palette. Igor understood.

2: Eldain by Anna Podedworna Couldn't help it, this asshole has me in chokehold and he's enjoying it. In my defense, this piece highlights everything Anna is known for, because she's damn good at it. Incredibly sharp main subject of the piece contrasted against a blurry background, which allows for insane details like the strings extending from the top of the lute. To add more fun to it, Eldain isn't even in the absolute foreground, but the piece is still composed smart, so he remains the main focus. His silly red collar on mostly green helps. On top of all that, the art tells a little story, something Anna often does too, and in this case it delightfully sums Eldain up. It's also the best premium in the game.

look at his little red ears from sitting against the sun aww

Honorable mention: Lake Guardian by Anton Nazarenko Like the following #1, this card has sentimental value to me as my second card reveal and artwork i made my best emote of. It was a perfect match, bird gals and all. It's a Sirin, bringing in a more obscure but not unwelcome mythology reference to the universe. And I love her vibrant, marble-like eyes.

1: Dol Blathanna Sentry by Lorenzo Mastroianni ...remains my favourite card art since that fateful day sometime in January 2018. I was just discovering what there was to know about Witcher, downloading Gwent in the first place out of need for more content as i was slowly reading through the first book. Gwent has done a lot to explore and build on this universe, and it has helped me contextualize a lot of things early on. I remember scrolling through the deckbuilder, seeing this art, and being struck by its mood, this aura of secret and wonder. "Oh, so this is what Dol Blathanna looks like..." It's quintessential older Lorenzo. Very much admitted brush work, fog, tight color palette. The little specks of blue in flowers and face paint work just right. Maybe it's a reference to Arthurian myth and Avalon, maybe to Greek myth and Hades, or maybe, as is often the case and was the case later (or earlier in this list), both. It spoke to me and my sense of wonder back then. It speaks to me when i search for comfort now.

now, time to tear Karol Bem to shreds in the top 20 least favourites xd

#shut up elis #the witcher #gwent: the witcher card game #fingers crossed tungle doesn't obliterate the links

24 notes · View notes

aritamargarita · 1 year ago

Text

ATTITUDE (… CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!!)

I feel very motivated. Yes it’s 5 am

It’s December now……..originally wasn’t gonna consider this canon but it is. We’re cooking again. WE DRAW CLOSER TO 2002!!!!!!! its december 24th 2001 in story!!!

this one’s a quick one since it’s just a one off chrystler chapter.

hopefully it’ll hold u guys for just a LIITTLEEE longer while i work on other things too. by the way when i rewatched the eggnog match, it was so fast it actually made me mad LMAO, well not much you can do there anyway so i tried improvising..?

‘TWAS THE RAW before Christmas and you’re sure there’s a lot of holiday cheer. You’re excited. What’s the night got in store?

You received a blue and red envelope in your locker today.

It’s painfully obvious they were invited to Smackdown and Raw’s Christmas parties, but you think it’s only because they want you to see what each brand had in store. They hadn’t started the draft yet, but you’re sure both General Managers had their eyes on a few picks…including you.

All you can hope is that the fans don’t get tired of you. It’s probably the only way you’d be allowed to be a free agent.

Before you can leave, your phone rings. You’re a little concerned, given that you’re at work and have never ever gotten a call. You’re about to enter the room, but you take a step back to quickly answer. “Hello?”

‘Hello, sweetie! How are you? Are you working?’

It’s your mother, and when hearing her voice, you sigh. “Hey, yes. I’m working. Is something wrong?”

‘No, no at all.’ It makes you sigh again, but this time in relief. ‘I watched one of your shows. That Jeff boy seems very nice. I’d like if you bring him home for Christmas!’

Oh, that’s not…

It takes you a moment to respond. “What? Why?”

‘He just seems sweet! That is a pure-hearted boy, and you seem to care for him enough. I’ll be expecting you two love birds.’ She says. ‘That is if you’re able to come home.’

“I’m not sure. I think I might, but only for a day. The next Raw doesn’t get taped until…well, next year. In January. I forgot when Smackdown was.”

‘I hope you do. We miss you very much. Give what I said some thought! I won’t bother you anymore. I love you!’

“Love you too. Bye bye.” And you hang up. You don’t think you’ll ever tell anyone what she said. You probably wouldn’t hear the end of it!

You take a deep breath and shake it off. As you walk through the door, you’re greeted by a camera and…Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco in elf outfits.

Wow, what a party Mr. McMahon has hosted…

Speaking of him, he was already at the door once he opened it. “I totally wasn’t listening to your conversation,” He clarified. You roll your eyes. But your boss is thrilled to see you, outstretching his arms.

“You’re the star of the night! I assure you, you’ve chosen the right party. You’re going to love it here.”

He tries going in for a hug, but you don’t react. Instead, he awkwardly reaches his hand out, and you shake it hesitantly. This is still your boss, after all.

“Everybody give a warm welcome to [Name]!” Vince announced. Great, now everyone’s staring.

You give a small wave as everyone in the room soundly greets you. Some of these people look familiar. Billy and Chuck, Terri, Christian, The Dudley Boyz….

And then there’s Stacy. Your eyes brighten once you see her in the room. She’s the only one you know well. She’s also excited to see you, hopping off of (who you can assume is) Bubba’s lap.

“[Name]! You came!”

“Hi.” You wave. “You look nice.”

Your voice is dry, which makes Stacy pout in return. However, your compliment puts her at ease. “Thanks!”

She then takes her hand and pulls on your shirt. “What’s with this? I thought you’d be all dressed up! It’s about to be Christmas! You dressed up when we were in WCW, remember?”

You do. It’s not because you wanted to, either. You didn’t really have a choice. Management wanted all the girls to come out in their little cute Santa’s helper costumes, and the moment you complained about it, you were told that you could just go for the day…and not be on TV.

You shake your head. “I’d rather just wear my regular clothes. Now, you may ask why again. The answer…is because I can. “To you, that reason was as good as any.

“Ugh, come on.” She whines. “I wanted to see you in something nice. I think the crowd would love it, too!”

There lies the problem. You scoff. “As if I’m showing any kind of skin in this landfill of a place called Miami. Of all the states we have to be in, it’s Florida?! Gross..” Your words incite booing from the crowd, but it’s not like you can hear them anyway. “This place sucks. I saw a man wrestling an alligator outside.”

“You’re silly. You should take a load off.” Stacy grins. Little did she know, you were dead serious. And the man was WINNING! Incredible.

You figured there was no convincing Stacy. She must’ve thought you were crazy.....if she doesn’t already.

She takes her hand and pats your shoulder. “It’s okay, [Name]. Maybe you’re just a little hazy from excitement. You should have some fun with us!”

“I don’t think I can.” You decline. “I’ve got a segment soon. So, not for long. Whatever’s going on here, I’m happy to see we’re all getting along.”

“I’m taking that you like it here?” Vince cuts in, then motions towards the other wrestlers. “See all the star power in here. That could be you. You can be involved. You sign with SmackDown, I promise you you’ll see that and more.”

You will consider. You’re not entirely sure whether or not you want to be with either brand because they have pros and cons. The problem is, which one would you rather deal with?

“Right, um..” You hesitate for a second, and Vince immediately jumps on his chance.

“Well, why don’t you come over and drink some punch? If that’s not your thing, we’ve got a lot of options.” He holds up a bottle of sparkling cider.

Man, he’s really trying hard, huh?

The arrival of Booker T grabs his attention, and you slink away to Christian instead. “Hey! Been a while.”

Christian looks around before looking at you with a grin. (Something you know he did on purpose) “If it isn’t my favorite fan! How’s it going, tiny?”

It’s been a while since he’s even called you that nickname, and it still does NOT hold true. You swear to god it’s not true. “I have definitely been fine! Just hanging in there.”

“I dunno, what you did at Vengeance was completely nuts. Are you sure you’re just hanging in there? Not gonna do the same to me, are you?” He asks.

“No. I just want to relax today! I really do.” You admit. You’re tired, and you want some time to think. This party does nothing for your racing thoughts, but the least you could do was try and enjoy it before leaving.

Which was probably soon.

“I don’t mean to butt in at all,” Terri comes over to you and rubs your shoulder. “But are you doing alright? The last time I saw you was when you mistook me for Torrie. And you had a bit of a meltdown during Vengeance.”

Wow, you really did leave a mark. Everyone must know about your little stunt. You fight a smile. “I’m just fine. I got my anger out and everything. I’m totally not mad.”

That was a lie. You are still mad and are unsure how long it’ll last, but you are still upset at Torrie. You’re still upset at Jeff and Raven as well, but the difference is that you don’t think you’ll ever forgive her for what she’s done so far.

Terri was going to speak again, but Vince loudly called everyone to attention. “You guys! Listen up, I got a surprise.” The door opens, and you don’t believe your eyes. “Courtesy of Santa himself, Santa’s little helpers!”

….Wait a second, these aren’t elves. They’re women! Did he seriously invite strippers?

They’re fully clothed, but their dresses were so short you might as well consider it next to nothing. It’s not like you’re complaining per se, but jeez. Wasn’t this supposed to be a kid-friendly show?

Haha, as if. You chuckle to yourself a bit.

Vince is introducing them as Santa’s helpers indeed. He takes “Vixen’s” hand to lead her onto a table.

“Alright,” You don’t want to stay around for this. “You guys have a good night, okay? I think I’m cutting it close. I need to get out in the ring.”

“But I’ve got a lot to show you, [Name]. You can’t just leave yet!” Vince tried to convince you, but you shook your head.

“Really can’t. But I promise I’ll consider Smackdown.”

You have to quickly exit before he can say anymore, but you can’t deny that you’re excited to talk in the ring.

Did you expect anything less from Vince McMahon? No. Hopefully, Raw would fare better.

Well, you’ll see soon enough.

It’s your turn to go out there, and you were pretty amped up about it. Sure, it’s another show of Raw, but it’s Christmas Eve, and Santa should be out and about now!

You want to show the crowd and everyone at home how excited you are for Christmas. Today’s another episode of Time Out with [Name]!

Once your entrance music plays, you push back the curtains and head down the ramp. Thanks to your stunt at Vengeance, you got a lot of mixed reactions from the crowd.

Jerry is the first to point it out. ‘Well, she seems to be in a good mood, JR!’

‘She sure is. I’m not sure if we should be on guard or not. That woman is a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode.’

Thankfully, they had given you a mic before going out there. The moment you slid into the ring and were faced to face with thousands of people, you couldn’t help but fall into a laugh.

“Okay, I know what you guys are thinking,” You begin. “Vengeance may have gotten a little out of hand! I get it. But if you were in my shoes, you’d understand! Anyway, that’s not why I came here tonight.”

JR can only shake his head. ‘Well, I’m sure we’d all like to hear what’s going on in that mind of hers.’

“I have an extraordinary guest today..” You trail off. “In fact, you all know him very well! He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake! It’s Santa—“

The Rock’s music plays instead. He quickly storms down to the ring, and you’re actually shocked that he interrupted you like that. The crowd cheers so loudly that you can’t even hear your thoughts. You figured it was a given. You’re in Miami, after all.

You start to talk as soon as he starts climbing into the ring. “Um, excuse me? Rocky?” The little pet name you call him makes him raise that iconic eyebrow toward you. “I-I didn’t call for you. I was waiting for Santa. But you’re more than welcome to wait for him with me.”

He stares at you momentarily, then reaches over the ring for a mic. There’s still more silence, and as you await your response, you look at him expectantly.

“..No.” He finally says. “The Rock came here to share a very important message with the MILLIONS—and MILLIONS—of Rock’s fans.”

“I get that.” You say. “I’m all for it, but this is my show. Like, jeez, if you’re gonna interrupt Santa, at least let me ask you some questions.”

“You think Santa’s coming here?! Miami is hot as hell, the guy’s gonna melt!” He’s got a fair point. But it’s Christmas! Santa would make a way to get here one way or another. “[Name], The Rock came out here because he has a few questions for you. You’re going to want to hear this, sweetheart.”

You’d be almost flattered at the pet name if it wasn’t for the slight derisive tone behind it. You can’t deny your curiosity, though. “Oh, pray tell!”

“You and The Rock both hate Chris Jericho. You and The Rock also hate….Stephanie McMahon.” He says. It’s true. Very true! You hate both of them. “And because we share the same hatred, The Rock has gotten you a gift. Consider it a peace offering.”

How sweet! Can’t refuse presents. Maybe Santa could wait for a minute. Hopefully, Austin won’t get too angry that you’ve accepted this.

He reaches over the ropes to one of the stagehands, and he’s handed a neatly wrapped gift. It is handed off to you, and you’re already excited, ripping it open as fast as possible.

The camera zooms in on your gift, and it’s…

…a book with a red bull on the cover. You look at him in confusion before repeating the title for the crowd. “The Rock’s night before Christmas? Did you really just give me a book??”

The Rock ignores your comment, and the crowd laughs as he takes the book away from you.

“You sure are. Here, let The Rock help you,” He flips open the book to one of the pages. “Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even….a mouse.” He pauses for a moment. “The weather was warm, not a trace of snow, just as The Rock got ready to whoop Chris Jericho.”

You nod your head. The only reason why you’re playing along is because of the Jericho line.

But he teases you anyway. “…See, there you go. That’s how you read a book. Go on, try it.” He hands it back to you.

You clear your throat. Guess that’ll be a way to pass the time waiting for Santa. “Jericho claims to be the best. The Rock has found this quite brutal. Clearly, Chris Jericho is a man who has no strudel.”

Whatever that means. The crowd goes crazy, though.

You look over to The Rock, and he nods in approval. He makes a motion with his hands for you to keep going. “I am a living legend! Y2J would sing, trembling with fear as he heads into the peoples ring…and faster, faster than Scrooge, saw the ghost of Christmas past—“

The Rock cuts you off, finishing the rhyme once and for all. “The Rock hit the people’s ring and WHOOPED Y2J’S ASS!”

Wow! What a wonderful Christmas gift. Not.

You thought it was something useful. For all you care, he could’ve gifted you a chair. A brand new kendo stick. Maybe even a steel pole. Hell, you’d even take a pair of socks over this book.

“Not to sound ungrateful, but this is my gift? No joke?”

The Rock nodded. “Well?? Do you like it?”

Your silence told a million words. The moment you’re about to speak, you can’t help but laugh once more. It takes you a minute to pull it together.

“As much as I would love to rag on Jericho, and believe me, I would LOVE to rag on him, that’s not what I expected. It’s Santa. And in the spirit of Christmas, it just so happens I have a gift for the crowd, too.”

The crowd cheers, but you already know what they’re thinking. You point a finger upward. “No, it has nothing to do with me taking my clothes off!”

And just like that, the crowd begins to boo. Aw.

Just as you’re about to spill the deets about your Christmas gift, the familiar tune of Kurt Angle’s music plays. For the love of god, you just want Santa Claus!!

“Sorry, guys..” Kurt insincerely apologizes from the top of the ramp. “All this talk about Christmas makes me think about something. What is it that you said about Santa Claus? He sees you when you’re sleeping..he knows when you’re awake?”

You scoff at the mimicking of what you said earlier, but he continues. “Well, if you ask me, Saint Nick is a pervert! I’ll tell ya what, I hope Santa isn’t watching tonight because I plan on being very naughty.”

How dare he drag Santa’s name through the dirt like that? “You can’t say those things about Santa. Most importantly, you can’t just say you’ll be naughty! You’re the pervert!” You accuse.

“You’re the only one thinking that way, [Name]!” Kurt accused back. “And boy, I am glad you’re not stripping out here tonight. Now that’s a relief. This is supposed to be a kid-friendly show!” Yeah right.

“Are you sure about that?” You question. “Earlier, there was—“

He quickly cuts you off. “As a matter of fact, you or anyone else shouldn’t be idolizing Santa. There is someone far more powerful than he is, and it’s Vince McMahon. In fact, he got your Olympic hero a very special Christmas present.”

“Vince makes little kids cry at that sight of him!” You accuse. “You think they’d idolize him??”

You’re unsure if it is true, but he’s scary. You remember when he ran towards you and Trish during that one match. A literal nightmare. “What did you get? I bet it’s not better than mine!”

“Don’t you know?” As Kurt is speaking, you can hear the crowd chanting ‘asshole’ around you. It makes you giggle. “It’s—“

“Woah, woah, woah!” The Rock interrupts. “Please let them finish calling you an asshole!”

You seem exasperated that your show has been hijacked yet again, on Christmas Eve nonetheless. “Guys, there’s gotta be a way we can settle this. You know, somewhere else?”

“No, no, you’re gonna wanna hear this,” Kurt says. Both of them have said that, so that means that you won’t like it as much..

“That present is a shot at the undisputed title. That’s right, tonight is going to be a triple-threat match. The Rock versus Chris Jericho versus Kurt Angle. Ho, ho, ho, it’s true!”

You had brushed it off when she said it in passing, but Trish really had a point when she said that the men ruin everything. This was already cutting into your time.

Kurt seems to be confident, though. “And I tell you what, Rock, your chances at winning the title in front of these sleazy hometown losers just went slim to none!”

“Let me just say,” You decide to add. “That Stone Cold Steve Austin would wipe you two off the map! Uh, no offense, Rocky.” You say, gently setting a hand onto his bicep. “If Vince McMahon had any good in him, which I doubt, he would let Austin into that triple threat and make it a fatal four-way!”

The jeering quickly turns into cheers, and you bow to your fantastic suggestion.

“Oh, absolutely not!” Kurt yells. He decides to make his way down the ramp, and you start to feel like this isn’t ending well. “I got this fair and square. Stone Cold doesn’t deserve this as much as I do. There’s a reason why Vince put the Olympic Gold Medalist into action and not some trailer park trash.”

Ouch. You wince.

“Seeing as you came out here and interrupted [Name] ’s little show..” Finally, the recognition you deserve. “Just let The Rock finish his Christmas message and he’ll tell you exactly how he feels about this whole thing—“

The sound of holiday bells fills the arena, and you immediately shush The Rock, albeit ruder than you intended to be. “SHUT UP, SHUT UP!” You yell. “IT’S SANTA!”

Lo and behold, it’s Jolly Old Saint Nick himself. Santa’s holding a red sack, which is likely full of presents.

More than likely, it was merchandise, and Santa reached in and began tossing things into the crowd. You’re giving him a standing ovation.

The Rock looks at you as if you’re insane. Even Kurt, who had just begun climbing the ropes into the ring, shoots you a look as well.

“Look! It’s Santa!” You exclaim, pointing right at him. “He’s right there! I told you guys he was coming!”

After a minute of throwing things out into the crowd, Santa chucks his bag into the ring and clambers in. You immediately hold out your mic for him to take. You’ll grab another one, you don’t even care.

“Ho, ho, ho!” Santa bellowed. This is really happening in real time. You skip over to the ropes and reach for a new mic as he continues talking. “Have you wrestlers been good this year?!”

You make haste to grab a new microphone. “I have!” There’s a giggle in your voice. “I don’t know about them, but I’ve been the nicest!”

Kurt shakes his head. “I don’t think so! You beat up poor Stephanie McMahon just a few weeks ago!” He calls back to your handicap match, but in your defense, she started it.

“That wasn’t my fault. Stephanie was trying to interfere! She even interrupted my show!” You shoot back. “You know, like you two interrupted mine?!”

He’s still not swayed. “She’s a potential business partner! You can’t just do that to a potential business partner!” Kurt then gives you a sardonic grin. “Personally, I’m just making it better.”

“A potential business partner? HA! Maybe on the street!” You laugh. “I swear to god, I will—“

Santa immediately puts a stop to your petty bickering. “Friends! There’s no need to argue. I can see how good you are in your hearts!”

That was so real. You smile, but The Rock is shaking his head. He points a finger toward him. “So, Santa, you came to The Rock’s hometown of Miami…..all the way from the North Pole? The Rock isn’t sure if he believes that.”

“What do you mean you don’t believe it?! He’s Santa!” You motion towards him.

Kurt doesn’t believe it either. “Yeah, right. I hate to agree with him, but look at him!”

All three of you turn to look at Santa at the same time. You personally see nothing wrong with him. “What’s the deal? This is definitely Santa.”

“…Well, [Name], whatd’ya want for Christmas?” Santa asks.

“See! How else would he know my name if he wasn’t Santa?” You question. You take a second to think about what you want, then bring the mic up so you can talk.

As soon as you’re about to speak, Santa Claus stands up and cuts you off. “Aht, aht, aht!” He waves a finger. “That was a test. Never tell your wish! Fret not, Santa knows all. Perhaps you’ll get what you want this year!”

You’re convinced and happy. That’s all that matters.

“Listen, ‘SANTA,’ Kurt sarcastically begins. “If you’re the real deal, I want to win the Undisputed Championship tonight. Can ya’ do that for me?!”

“I apologize, Kurt, but…. you’ve told me your wish; I don’t believe I can grant it.”

“HA!” You laugh. He’s not getting the Undisputed title for sure now. That’s one less thing for you to worry about.

“You can’t grant my wish...” Kurt repeats, nodding his head a bit. “Okay.” He shrugs it off momentarily, giving the impression that he’s about to leave, but he swoops Santa off his feet and into an Olympic Slam. As soon as Poor Santa hits the ground, Kurt angrily yells at him. “YOU’RE GONNA GIVE ME MY WISH, SANTA!”

“Wait!!” You yell. But it’s too late. “NOO! What’re you doing?! I can’t believe you!!!” You’re so distraught that your words are coming out way too fast. Kurt Angle just gave Santa an Olympic Slam!

To make things worse, Kurt pulls him right into the Ankle Lock. You’re yelling, but The Rock just stands there. That is until he decides to yank Kurt back and exchange blows with him instead.

As of right now, pain is all you feel. You kneel down to the fallen Santa, trying your best to help him up.

There’s one thing for sure. This Raw would be memorable…for all the wrong reasons.

Today’s matches are as follows…

RIKISHI VS. TEST

APA VS. BILLY AND CHUCK

TORRIE WILSON VS. STACY KEIBLER VS. [NAME] (EGGNOG MATCH)

RVD VS. LANCE STORM

CHRISTIAN VS. THE HURRICANE (EUROPEAN TITLE)

BOOKER T VS. MAVEN

BUBBA CLAUS VS. TAJIRI CLAUS

CHRIS JERICHO VS. KURT ANGLE VS. THE ROCK

You double take once you see your name alongside Stacy and Torrie.

Who put you in the eggnog match? You’re going to kill someone. This is probably one of the first gimmick matches you’ve had here, and it makes you reconsider shunning a bra and panties match…

….Nah, nothing would ever make you reconsider that. By some stroke of luck, you haven’t been signed up for one. However, you’d much rather have an actual match tonight!

Now you’ve got a bone to pick with Raw’s new owner. More than likely, he had something to do with this, so you can’t blame Vince THIS TIME. You may just start blaming him for shits and giggles, though.

“[Name]!”

You look behind you to see RVD storming down the hall. He doesn’t seem in the greatest of moods, but you still try and be friendly. “Hey there! What’s up?”

It’s a bit off-putting to see him so irritated. He seems so laid back. The moment he grabs your shoulders is when you realize that it may be serious. “Have you seen Chris Jericho? This is important.”

Seems like everyone’s looking for him. He is always causing trouble. You think it’ll only get worse now that he’s the Undisputed champion, but you can only hope someone else can beat him.

If that doesn’t happen, perhaps you’ll have to intervene.

He rubs his temple. “He attacked me on Heat before Vengeance. I know he’s performing tonight, but I don’t care. Lance Storm had a lot to say about it, so now I’ve gotta kick his ass.”

“I’m sure you’ll get it. My advice is to try the locker room. He’s vain enough to stay in there for days if he could. I’m sure he loves checking himself out.” You recommend.

RVD seems to relax a bit. He doesn’t think he can be mad around you, at least not for long. He lets go of your shoulders. “Alright, Miss Nitro. I’ll try.”

That’s like the second nickname someone’s given you. Can’t complain about it, though. It’s kinda cute!

Though you feel bad that you can only catch him in the halls, you smile anyway. “I’ll catch up with you later. I’ve gotta hit up the party. We’ve gotta hang out sometime. I really enjoyed it when we were a team.”

“Ditto.” He agrees. “Well, when you need a partner, come find me.”

You wave at him, he returns it, and you two go your separate ways. The main objective was to get to Raw’s party. Talking to Ric Flair was really important.

You could hear a distant “woo!!” from down the hallway. Yeah, he’s definitely in there.

You pick up the pace a bit to reach the door, and you quickly open it. Upon entry, you can see more people that you know. Trish, Jacqueline, Big Show, Hurricane, Tajiri, Torrie…

Seeing her sitting in Santa Tajiri’s lap, you can’t help but stare in awe. She seems surprised, too, not expecting you to be at the party. There’s a camera here, so it follows you to where you stand. You cross your arms.

They did an awful job of telling you these things.

You glance around again and notice that Edge is here, too. God damn it.

Once you and Torrie locked eyes, the room fell silent. Some of your coworkers are starting to get an idea of how unstable you are.

They just hoped you wouldn’t go ballistic on her right now. It’s a party! You’re supposed to be having fun! You get the gist, so you decide to clear the air. “I just want to talk to Ric Flair. I'm not here to fight or anything.”

Nevermind the fact you got an invitation..

Everyone seems to let out a sigh of relief, continuing their miscellaneous conversations. Were they really that concerned..?

The Nature Boy makes his way over to you. “You called for me?!” You flinch at his tone of voice. He’s so loud.

“Yeah, why’d you schedule me in that eggnog match?” You question. “I don’t want to be in it. In fact, there’s no reason for me to be in it.”

He grabs a drink from the table and raises it up toward you in offering. “I thought it would be a good opportunity, I wanna see you wrestle!”

You wave your hand at him. “You did! Remember that one match with The Rock? You fixed the match!”

“Not good enough! I wanna see some hair pullin’, eye scratchin’, clothes rippin’! Woo!” Ric chants. “You’re the only person that can deliver it! I've seen you go at it when you were in WCW!”

You can’t even get a word out before he’s yelling even more. “MERRY CHRISTMAS, FROM THE NATURE BOY!! WE ARE PARTYING DOWN TONIGHT, WE ARE LOOKIN’ GOOD!”

You really fight the urge to say: “Take your pills, old man,” but you instead decide to zip it for now. Guess you’ll have to participate.

Meanwhile, Edge makes his way over to you. He’s got garland wrapped around his neck like a scarf, and you know he’s still goofy as ever.

“Hey there, you.” He greets.

You wave. “Hi.” This is too awkward for you, so you cut to the chase. “We’re fine now, right? I saw you catch my kiss. I blew you.”

“Hah, blew me.” Edge chuckled. Ha, ha. You almost laughed, he’s sooo hilarious. “I don’t know why you came out there, but I kind of liked it.”

You’re happy. At least he didn’t seem to be mad at you anymore. He totally took things out of context. You wanted to map out a few things to say to him in your head, but it’s tough when Torrie talks so loudly in her squeaky voice.

It’s like she was doing it on purpose. Like she’s raising her voice so that you could hear. If that’s what she wants, so be it. You turn around to look.

“Wooow!!” She chirps, unwrapping a lingerie set from the box. “You want me to be naughty, don’t you?! It’s beautiful, I love it!”

God, you hate her. You swiftly turn around to leave but are stopped by Debra coming in with a tray of neatly placed cookies.

“Hey, sweetie!” She greets you with a big smile. “I’m glad you could make it! It’s not a party without my famous cookies!”

You’re gonna be honest. Those look like the sugar cookies from the store, but you’ll still eat them.

She hands over the tray to Ric. “Oh! Steve will be here any minute!” He’s coming too?! Cool! It is a little surprising to hear he’s actually gonna show up. Everyone in the room starts to cheer, including the crowd.

Alright, perhaps the night can turn itself around after all.

Eggnog shouldn’t be that bad. It's not your favorite drink, but it’s better than gravy. You bet poor Trish had to take so many showers.

It honestly reminds you of when Kurt hosed the Alliance down with milk. You won’t ever forget that night. You shiver just thinking about it.

The ladies of the night have already made their entrance. You’re the last one to come out. You don’t even bother dressing up all festive, as your gear will probably be drenched anyway.

Your music hits. Now’s the time to go out there and get this match done as quick as you can.

“And finally, introducing [Name]!”

For a moment, you stop midway on the ramp to look at the girls and the pool of eggnog.

If they said this was for a WCW taping, you would’ve believed them.

You finally reach the end of the ramp, looking over and shaking your head. You can’t believe you’re doing this. All the while, Torrie’s tossing candy canes into the crowd while you walk over toward the side. At least someone’s enjoying this.

As soon as you get down there, she turns toward you and coyly passes you a candy cane, but you slap it out of her hand. You don’t want that shit.

Stacy quickly takes advantage, yanking her over by the shoulder and slapping her. Stacy yells over to you, “Let’s throw her in!”

Absolutely. You give her a nod, and the two of you back over to Torrie. The both of you pick her up, adjusting so she doesn’t get hurt too bad when you toss her.

“One, two….” You begin to count, the two of you rocking back and forth. “Three!” And there she goes, right into the pool of eggnog. Some of it splashes on you, but you don’t care.

Cameras around you flashed and it almost blinded you for a moment, causing you to squint for a moment before rubbing your eyes.

Once you come to, you see Stacy raising her hand for a high five. You smile and give her one, but as soon as she turns her back on you to laugh at Torrie, you shove her into the pool.

What an idiot! It’s every woman for themselves tonight. While you actually start to find this fun, you foresee a messy shower in the future. Carefully, you step right into the pool. You didn’t want to slip and hurt yourself.

Of course, the first thing you do is to try and drown Torrie. Just to shut her up for a bit. You grab her hair, submerge her under the eggnog for a minute or two, and then pull her back up. She’s coughing and sputtering.

Stacy’s doing her best to regain some balance, even trying to grab on the referee for some leverage. You’re too focused on Torrie, though.

The smell of eggnog was starting to make you sick. You don’t think you ever want to see eggnog ever again.

You try to adjust to pull Torrie onto a very slippery STF, but you keep losing your grip every few seconds. You did your best to keep it on, though.

Torrie reaches her hand out, but there’s no rope to save her now. You think she’s just about to tap!….until Stacy got her head back in the game and broke up the submission.

Now, you’ll have to focus on her for a minute. There’s not much you can do in the pool, which is one of the reasons why you hated this match so much.

She drags you off of Torrie and starts slapping you around a bit. Seems like she doesn’t know what to do either.

That damn Ric Flair. What did you even get out of this? Definitely not a title match that’s for sure.

Either you do a roll up pin or you force them to tap. You’re leaning on the latter. You don’t know your time limit, so you’re gonna have to make do. You scoop Stacy up and slam her back into the pool, eggnog splashing everywhere.

Poor Torrie’s little Santa outfit was almost halfway off of her. Stacy was in the same state. You were smart enough NOT to dress in anything like that. The crowd can have them, but not you!

“You girls have five more minutes!” The referee whisper-shouted.

Five minutes, okay. That’s not bad. Five minutes…

Wait, FIVE MINUTES?! Not good. You start to panic inwardly, and Torrie is the first to catch on.

She comes out of character to check in on you for a second. That is, after she coughs out more eggnog.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine, but five minutes!” You exclaim, nearly losing your own footing, trying to adjust yourself.

You all need to start wrapping it up then. You’re almost disappointed it’s already almost over. Almost.

“Stacy!” You whisper-shout. “You’re gonna have to tap!” When you finish your sentence, you’re already moving to sweep her off her feet.

You really wish it was Torrie, but she’s too busy trying to get herself together. Man, if she threw up, there’s gonna be a problem.

Stacy desperately tries to claw at your arm to escape, to no avail. The referee circles around you two, and before you know it, she is tapping, causing eggnog to splash everywhere.

You let her go and shove her away, and the referee helps you up to raise your arm. You’re just ready to get the fuck out of dodge. You actually think that was the most embarrassing match you’ve been in.

“The winner of the eggnog match, [Name]!”

You snatch your arm from the referee and turn away to walk begrudgingly up the ramp, but don’t forget to bat your hand at the girls and the pool.

Your music blares in your ears, but it all sounds dull. All you care about is hitting the showers.

You’ve won, but at what cost? Sometimes, you really can’t help but hate your job.

As soon as you hit that curtain, Ric Flair gives you a round of applause with a smile. “Bravo!” Shockingly enough, he’s not being annoyingly loud. “Woooo! That was a show!”

“Good enough for you?” You ask sardonically. One of the stagehands passes you a towel, and you thank them. You use it to dry your face and hair. It’s gonna have to do for now.

God, you think you may have gotten eggnog in your ear…

“Hope you’re satisfied.” You have to hit your palm against your ear.

He just laughs, making you narrow your eyes.

“Listen, listen, I just have a deal for you. Because you did the favor of participating in this match, I’ve thought…how would you like to participate in the Royal Rumble?”

“What?!” You exclaim, nearly dropping your towel. “Are you serious?”

“Sure am. You see, I would like to surprise Vince. To keep him on his toes, I’m a bigger threat than he’ll ever know.” Ric explains. “There’s only 30 spots; I’m sure he will fill them quickly. So, you may want to talk to your fellow wrestlers. Maybe they’ll give up a spot.”

That’ll be hard to do. You know for a fact no man is willing to give up a spot like that. You’ll have to drive a hard bargain…

It takes a moment for you to respond. “..Well, I would love to, really! But I wouldn’t know how to get anyone to give up their spot. And I would have to just. I don’t know. I’m not sure.”

It was sprung onto you so suddenly that you weren’t sure what to do. Ric understands, luckily.

“Well, how about this? You take the rest of the night off. Go get cleaned up and think about it. Trust me, both of us are the winners.”

Now, that is an offer you cannot refuse. You’ll have to join the party next time.

For now, you just need to think.

#SCREAM IF YOU WANT IT!#DONT THROW THE TOMATOES DONT DO IT #wwe imagine #wwe x reader #wwf imagine #wwf x reader #wwe attitude series #RVD MY BELOVED #eh no tags for this one too lazyyy

53 notes · View notes

superpeeboy · 8 months ago

Text

Evil thoughts and headcanons about benny and gcbc below

Benny is mad-scientist-adjacent in my mind. He’s almost one of those but hes an engineer instead. Still a freak.

Benny has facial hair. its in the storyboards and I cling to it like a koala to a tree during a forest fire

Benny IS short but he floats to peoples height so most don’t even notice

Old ass men. Benny would be born sometime before the 80s so he could actually grow up during that time! 1970 something.

For that matter, GCBC is also old as hell. Similar age to benny but he did not age anywhere near as well 😭😭 UGLY!

Benny and GCBC play fight like dogs.

Benny is NOT SKINNY!! this man eats ice cream every day he would not be skinny! no!

And for that matter, GCBC isn’t skinny either. Fat GCBC or death!

Hard of hearing benny. He works with spaceships those things are loud!

I dont think benny would care about pronouns. I usually use he/him for benny but i really dont think hed have a preference like everyone calls him he/him so he just goes with it.

On the other clawhand, GCBC is WOKE!!! He/it good cop he/she bad cop, collectively he/they because they are literally TWO GUYS!!!

More lgbt stuff. I think Gay Cop Bisexual Cop is funny to say so i go with it for that reason. Benny is probably also gay HE LOOKS GAY!

Good cop probably likes to go to the library. He just looks like he does. Round glasses. NERD!!

Benny is more evil than GCBC. The girls that get it get it and the girls that dont dont.

…I LOVE EVIL BENNY! i must continue. I feel like in the drafts for the lego movie benny was just absolutely deranged and they had to tone it down a bit for the final film but i love that he was such a freak! like what was his issue. all the removed stuff ive seen with benny was just him absolutely tweaking. AND HE KILLED GCBC he did that in the draft script and it was so awesome and he didnt even feel bad i love it!!

outside of like actual stuff from tlm i also think people infantilize benny a lot and its fun to just make him absolutely horrible to spite that.

also! Benny has brain damage the evil way… I project a lot for this cuz GIRL ME TOO! he has poor control over his own limbs and cant hold a train of thought very well and i dont want to continue cuz i takea lot of this specifically from my own experiences but those are just a couple things 🤔

I feel insane talking about this but i swear bad cop has an interest in cowboys. when emmet and lucy escape it seems like the first place she checks is the old west (i know its jsut movie logic… BUT STILL!), the folks in the old west recognize her theyre literally shaking cuz shes SCARY!! and she knows her way around the place pretty well which both of those are probably from her job but IDC!! now when she said “get off my train” WHAT IF what if she just felt protective over old west propertyy also in the behind the bricks video she mentions cowboys even though they were NOT that big of a part of the movie!! evil speculating on a fictional characters interests 😭😭😭

if they were birds gcbc would be an owl and benny would be a blue footed booby. also not about my main slop characters but related to bird legos, metalbeard would be an albatross.

continuing with owl cop, hes an owl because owls have large circular eyes, yet their eyes can also be very reflective, and they can twist their heads about.

if they were cats gcbc would be a tiger just so they could say “you bit the wrong tigers tail” and benny would be a serval

if they were dogs gcbc would be a german shepherd, obvious choice, and benny would be a schnauzer

if they were fish gcbc would be good cod bad cod just for the name and benny would be a pleco

when picking good cop up he would curl up like a happy kitty hed really like being picked up and when picking bad cop up he would scramble and claw at you in fear of falling (she is a frightened animal)

Good cop would watch kids cartoons in his free time, if he had any 💀

Good cop the type of guy to say “geeze louise”

Good cop the type of guy say “you wouldnt hit a guy with glasses would ya?”

Good cop the type of guy to say “ohh butterfingers” after dropping something

Good cop the type of guy to look for his tv remote and say “if i were the tv remote where would i be?”

Good cop the type of guy to close the fridge door with his hips

Good cop definitely has the urge to just collect trinkets but not the time nor money, maybe on weekends hed visit thrift shops just to get random stuff

Good cop and benny both seem like they chew on things when nervous

Both good cop and bad cop like the color pink but bad cop would be a bit more embarassed to share that. at home they definitely have pink blankets and pillows and all sorts of pink

Everyone is autistic if you think hard enough.

I love how everyone agrees that bad cop takes after his mother and good cop his father. Unanimous agreement ive never seen anyone headcanon it the other way

I say this as a joke but i dont have any way that i think gcbc wouldve come to be so its basically my headcanon even if its a joke. Good cop ate bad cop in the womb. Thats why theyre like that. And ma cop was terrified because she was set to have twins and only had one baby. 💀💀

Benny has definitely been hit with the “Hes smart but he doesnt apply himself” thing in the past.

GCBC is not a pale white man. Not happening. He would not do that!

If they participated in a chicken fight, gcbc would be on benny’s shoulders (as the cops cannot swim)

Good cop’s eyes are so big they squash his brain

19 notes · View notes

cibeeorsomeshit · 7 months ago

Text

Pathetic Bird

A/N: Andrealphus/Stolas hate sex 🔞 I think Andre deludes himself into thinking Stolas suck but secretly lust and obsessed over him

read on ao3 twitter

Andrealphus grew up surrounded by crystal and diamonds that appealed to his peacock sensibility very well. Long ago when he first saw Stella’s betrothed, he was aghast (as much as a young child, albeit a Goetia, could be) at the future where this dull little gray thing would be a part of his family, and he voiced his disdain out loud.

No doubt Stella was thinking the same thing, though by insulting her future husband Andrealphus was insulting her prospect as well.

“At least I’m going to be a princess,” she sneered at her brother. “You will only be a marquess.”

Andrealphus burned her wardrobe for that. It was something Stella complained about to this day, even though their mother bought her twice the clothes she had before, all more colorful than the previous. Nothing like the colorless prince that lay in their future, no matter how bright his smile might be.

Even after they all came into their rightful thrones, Stolas was bland, all blue-gray and black feathers. Andrealphus hated the lack of colors on him, and standing next to Stella it was even more obvious how lacking he was. Only his eyes were worth looking at.

So what did Stolas think he was doing now, showing up to Beltane looking like that?

“What do you what?” Stolas said icily, only then did Andrealphus realize he had moved from his place next to the host, and was now directly in Stolas’ carefully preserved private space.

“Just wanted to see your new divorcee look.” Andrealphus tilted his head playfully, scanning Stolas up and down with what he thought must be devastating disdain. “Trying to show everyone you’re not bothered, are you?”

Stolas took a careful sip of his wine. “That’s your word.”

Andrealphus’ eyes twitched. Stolas never wore white, let alone billowy gauze white robes that stretched further than his tail feathers. Across the room, Stolas in all white with his blood red eyes cut a striking figure, up close Andrealphus noticed he was wearing a string of tiny, finely cut rubies with baroque pearls woven in. The fastidious need for perfect geometry made Andrealphus want to rip that necklace right off from where it nested in Stolas’ chest fluff.

“If you are simply going to vex me with your presence, I’m going to take my leave.” Stolas put his now empty wine glass on a table. Andrealphus snapped back to reality from his —irritation, as always when it came to his ex brother-in-law, and said the thing he knew was guaranteed to stop Stolas in his tracks.

“You didn’t bring your little imp whore?” Andrealphus twisted around in the perfect curve that placed him right next to Stolas. “Beltane is quite informal, you know. Guests of all…classes are welcome to come and get a taste of us. Trouble in hell?”

Stolas didn’t turn to face him. “Blitzø has no interest in this sort of event.”

“No interest in this, or in you?”

Stolas was resolutely staring ahead. Andrealphus let out a gleeful chuckle. “Oh, is that it! My, my, getting dumped by an imp is a new low. Honestly, even with how little I regard you, I thought you wouldn’t fall to this depth.”

Stolas started walking off. Andrealphus kept pace.

“Is that your reason for your unusual choice of wardrobe today? A new bedmate? I can see how it might give off the impression. People won’t have to do very much to get to your body with that glorified cloth you have on…”

Andrealphus wasn’t expecting Stolas to halt like someone had suddenly nailed his tail to the ground. Andrealphus managed to save the forced stop from being ungraceful with a teasing grin, turning back to savor the pathetic look on Stolas’ face, only to be greeted by a much closer prince, looking at him with half-lidded eyes.

Stolas pressed closer, so close his chest feather brushed against Andrealphus, and with a voice so sultry he never heard from anyone in the Goetia family, and never in the world from Stolas: “Are you offering?”

“What?” Beltane or not, the magic in the ballroom shouldn’t have let Andrealphus feel like he was suffocating all of the sudden. His words came out rough, parched. Stolas’ mouth dropped open. Hot breaths that smelled of wine and faint herbs spread across Andrealphus’ every senses. He swallowed thickly.

It was Stolas’ turn to tilt his head at him. “Are you thirsty?” Stolas started walking them backwards. Andrealphus had no clue where he was being taken, only that the noise of the ballroom faded, the lights dimmed as they pushed through a thick and musty-smelling tapestry, and they were suddenly much, much closer than they ever were in their lives. Stolas’ talon glided underneath Andrealphus’ fur boa and raked roughly through his feathers. “I can help with that.”

Stolas’ wet, hot tongue plunged into Andrealphus’ opened mouth, licking across everything, teasing the tip of Andrealphus’ tongue before wrapping around it in the most depraved way. Andrealphus wasn’t thinking. He couldn’t form a thought. His feathers puffed all the way out and he never felt this warm and tight in his body before. It was as if something wanted to claw its way out to reach Stolas.

But Stolas pulled away before he could be torn apart, and the aftershock from the tonguefuck was as thick and sticky as the string of saliva connecting them.

“You…” Andrealphus wanted to call Stolas a whore, a bitch, a disgrace or anything that would give him back some sort of control, but Stolas was panting right into his face and the black eyeliner was as sever as the suicide Andrealphus wanted to commit right now. Andrealphus’ hands gripped those impossibly narrow waist. Stolas moaned.

“You did come to look for a fuck.” Andrealphus wanted to hear Stolas admit that, at least.

Stolas laughed right at him. “No, Andrealphus.” Stolas flipped them around so Andrealphus was the one pressing him into the wall, grinding his ass backward “I think that was you.”

“You think anyone out there was planning on touching you? After divorcing a perfectly respectable wife for a lowly creature?”

Stolas turned his head all the way around and grinned wide enough that it nearly split his face apart. “I think you got the description backwards.”

Andrealphus gripped Stolas’ face with one hand and rucked up the fabric covering Stolas’ backside. Even without parting the fine feathers there Andrealphus could see the slightest pink among them.

He let go of Stolas’ face so he could use both hands. “Good lord,” Andrealphus sucked in a hissing breath, rubbing at Stolas’ puffy and already leaking hole “How often does that animal fuck you? You look like an overused toy.”

“Blitzø knows what he’s doing. Unlike someone,” Stolas said in a bored tone. He reached behind and slipped into himself easily. “I’m going to cum whether you’re going to do something or not. Leave if you want.”

Andrealphus gritted his beak, and for a second he did consider leaving Stolas like this. But then he saw the hand Stolas didn’t have inside of himself was playing with his necklace, and the color scheme was abruptly and undoubtedly intentional. Andrealphus saw red.

Why was Stolas still thinking about that imp? It had been months. It was all over the news and every gossip circle that they had fallen out. The imp was taking on more clients than ever and Stolas was barely seen outside of his palace. And yet here he was, picking his jewelry based on who it reminded him of, a fucking dirt poor commoner that threw him away once the opportunity came.

Stolas’ fingers were ripped out of his hole and replaced by Andrealphus’ cock, pushing all the way in until they were flushed against each other and Stolas was rising on the tip of his talons, gasping from the rough intrusion.

“Haaaaa…” Stolas laughed, though it mixed with his moans. “Of course you would be soooo familiar with that spell. Still trying to pretend you’re not as salacious as the rest of hell?”

“Stop talking.”

“Hmmm, well, when I’m with Blitzø my mouth is usually otherwise occupied, or unable to speak all together. As I say, you might be able to conjure a cock, but whether or not you know how to use iiiiiiiiiiit—ohhhhhhhhh…”

Andrealphus’ movement was all hard thrusts and bruising pace. He didn’t want Stolas to talk back at all. “I suppose—I understand why Stella would say—ah—you are bad in bed, your body is so obviously made to be fucked—”

“Do not bring that woman up,” Stolas bit out. And that was no good, the talking back, the still coherent thoughts, the not shaking knees. Andrealphus wanted Stolas to walk out of here with the clear limp in his steps so that everyone would know he just got well and truly fucked. He wanted Stolas to show up next time, dressed in crystals and aquamarine, pathetically broadcasting to the world how much he wanted to sit on Andrealphus’ cock and never get off. Just a shuddering, wet mess of a whore born into a royal’s body. Stolas was letting out tiny strings of “oh, oh, oh—” in time with Andrealphus’ thrusts. The feathers on Stolas’ back were straining to puff out through the sweat that matted them.

Andrealphus didn’t want to drag this out. This was a quick fuck in the secluded corner behind a tapastry, nothing more. So he pushed in hard and pressed a finger just below Stolas’ opening, stimulating the sensitive spot from both sides, and just as Andrealphus planned, Stolas came with a shuddering gasp, twisting his torso around and pressing his thighs together to milk the sensation longer.

Andrealphus pulled out and came on Stolas’ tender backside, rubbing the stickiness into Stolas’ legs in a possessive haze after experiencing continuous pleasure rather than one single good orgasm, better than he had remembered in a while. In his orgasm-muddled mind, he let his talons linger on the thighs he never knew would be so lovely to the touch. Just as his fingertips started to trail further down, Stolas stood up straight, draped his robe over his glistening hole and efficiently combed every feather and fabric back in place like he wasn’t a mess of drool and Andrealphus’ cum a few minutes ago.

“Have a good rest of your evening, Andrealphus,” Stolas said, red eyes never even glancing at him as he adjusted his necklace, swept past him and left nothing but the vacuum of his absence.

And if Andrealphus froze that entire part of the palace and few of the staff in the aftermath, it wasn’t fucking enough.

#helluva boss #stolas #andrealphus x stolas #andrealphus #my writing

12 notes · View notes

ziteyra · 1 year ago

Text

A fish out of water

A two part Oneshot

Part 1

Aounung X female! Metkayina

🌪️themes: veeeery slowburn, fluff, love, foreign environments, dates, fighting

🌪️ Warnings : none :)

🌪️ Characters: Aounung, little bit of Loak, female Metkayina Tribe Navi

🌪️ Summary: Anoung takes Loak up on a rekless bet on how long he would survive in the jungle. This is where he meets a mysterious forest Navi and slowly (or not) falls for her

🌪️ Wordcount (🥹) : ~ 4k

🐟 Notes: I am so sorry. I went incredibly overboard with this. Like jesususuususus. Don't know if even Eywa can forgive me for this half-finished monstrosity. Anyway, enjoy. Take your time. Have a nice week. Love ya

It all started with a stupid bet. Aou'nung felt remorse even thinking about it.

While beating Loak in of their thousand diving contests he went a bit too far with their banter.

As he usually did he called Loak all kinds of names. Both slow as a stone and as good of a fiber as his I ran. But Instead of playingly fighting the accusations as he always did he proposed something.

"Sure, I might not be fast in the water yet or the best at riding my Ilu but I bet you wouldn't even make it to the forest brother."

Aonung as stubborn as he was took him up on the offer. He fell right into the obvious trap. Telling their parents they wanted to have a tour of the coral reefs both Loak and Aou'nung snuck out without much hustle.

Thinking back at it Aou'nung had to congratulate himself both for his stupidity and bravery.

Loak landed the two of them on the outskirts of the forest just by the edge of the great cliffs that border the Metkayina territories.

"Well then, go on Aou'nung. I'll meet you back right here in three days. And if you swim back or leave in any way I'll tell everyone what a wuss U were." Loak grinned as he took off high above him on his Ikran. Aou'nung never really liked that animal, but now with him standing so close to the edge of the cliff and the forest right in front of him, he had to admit how useful one of them could be.

The first few hours were strange but easy for him. He felt the unknown terrain between his feet and saw many strange but beautiful animals he had only heard his father talk about.

As soon as the night set tho, both his mood and the forest changed completely. He couldn't just walk in a straight line through the forest anymore as he did the hours before neither could he trace back his steps. As beautiful as the big leaves and trees were in the day, they now just blocked every passage and every small ray of light trying to find its way to the ground. Even the calls of the once beautiful birds just echoed from tree to tree as Aoung had never heard it before.

He wasn't ready to admit defeat yet but he also knew that there wasn't much of a different choice for him but to keep going.

Right when the sun was completely gone from the sky and some tiny specs of moonlight could be seen he found a more or less safe and comfortable place to rest.

He had only taken a small woven blanket with him which he laid on the ground and moss beneath him.

Sitting down he realized how unwelcoming the forest truly felt to him. Even the shades of blue both of the sky he had seen during the day and of the flowers and trees seemed to be different from his skin. It seemed way more fitting to the patterns and tones on Kiri's and Loak's bodies now that he could take a closer look.

Although his blue skin seemed unnatural to him, there was still a soft glow coming from the familiar patterns on his body. In a way, he had rarely seen it. While the water usually reflected these lights and made them glow much brighter, here in the forest it seemed much more like small far away stars.

As much as he was fascinated by that it also startled him that there was a comparable glow coming from around him.

As he rubbed his eyes, trying to get them used to the odd lighting, he noticed that all the plants around him and even the tree bark emitted a glow much the same to his skin. Like the plants and corrals of the ocean, there was a glittering coming from almost every corner of the forest. A bit colder, he thought, than under the sea but maybe also not that different.

"Eywa lives and breathes in everything. Both nature and Navi, even if they are as strange as you" Aou'nung heard a voice coming from right above him. He tried his best not to jump to his feet immediately to not show any fear, but instead just turned his head in every possible direction.

"What are you, pale boy ?" the voice asked again, this time with a more fierce tone.

"Why would you care ?" Aou'nung replied. "And if you need to know, I'm the son of OLO'EYKTAN. I'm one of the most feared warriors of our clan and I am here to prove that a forest like yours is no match for me. They are nothing more than our island jungles."

"I see." The voice softened as without a sound a tall and majestic body Fell from the trees above him.

Before Aou'nung a tall Navi spanned her ornated bow a focused on him sharply with both of her yellow eyes. She was much taller than him and had skin as dark as the night sky with a pattern of glowing dots that seemed to hypnotize him the longer he looked at them.

Still, without fear in his voice, he answered: "I'd be grateful if you could help me navigate this forest of yours just for the next two days. I'm here more or less on a bet. With a friend of mine who looks just like you, he was a born Omatecicaya just like you, I suppose."

Her face remained unchanged but her head and long braids tilted a bit to the right. "Of whom do you speak? You surely are no son of our olo'eyktan. And you do not fit in here. You stink of fish."

Again Aou'nung shivered a bit under the harshness of her words, he could feel her judging gaze all over him.

" I come from the Metkayina. We belong to the sea like you to your strange forest. Now would you *please* take down your bow."

She didn't seem to move not even blink as Aou'nung slowly raised his hands and tried to carefully aim the bow away from him. "I am not your enemy, do you hear me?"

"You truly are no threat, fish men." His opponent answered. As quickly as she pulled to bow it disappeared behind her back. "But we can't leave you unsupervised."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Aou'nung asked kind of relieved that the bow was gone but still concerned with her ominous answers.

"You will do whatever you need to do and I will keep an eye out for you. Now go!" The Navi snarred and as silent as a bird she disappeared into the tree branches above him.

"I don't even know your name," Aou'nung called out into the leaves above his head, now feeling kind of harmless being dismissed that easily. He at least wanted to make a lasting impression on that woman. And if she was anything like Loak that shouldn't be hard.

"Hey, did you hear me? What's your name? I'm Aou'nung, you know. The fastest diver of my village." He yelled into the night sky. But no one seemed to answer, only rustling leaves

and a little orange-eyed monkey screamed at his question.

Aou'nung squinted his eyes and looked closer at the animal. There seemed to be two or three just sitting in a smaller tree next to him.

An excellent choice to prove himself he thought, and even to gather something to eat.

Quickly brushing away all the smaller and bigger leaves in his path he made his way just under the tree. Securing his dagger on his bag he tried to grab a strong-looking liana and started to mount the tree, pulling himself upward.

It took him longer than expected and the moment he got close to the first real branch he realized that he was almost out of breath. He had no idea how to find a hold on the strong tree bark and even less how to coordinate his feet around the slimly Liana.

As he sat down on the shaky tree branch he couldn't see even a hint of the monkeys. Only the rustling leaves but this time coming from quite a distance beneath him.

A bit concerned with the height and not trusting the branch under him he pulled the remaining Liana up and wound it around his hips. Securing him like they used to secure small children, back in his village, to their parents when they go out onto the greater ocean for their first real swim.

While finishing his last knot, he felt something small pulling on his locks.

"I knew you'd come back eventually. And even if it was only to congratulate me on my climbing skills." he cheekily smiled. However, as an answer, he only got to hear a deafening scream of many small voices. Harshly turning around he found out where those screams were coming from.

He hadn't found the monkeys but much rather had the monkeys found him. More than 20 of them were gathered behind him hanging from branches and grinning their long sharp teeth at him. One of them had mustered up enough strength to sneak up behind him and was now holding multiple curls of his hair.

He only had enough time to pull back his hair as the monkeys unitedly started to jump towards him bringing the all tree branches to a concerning shake.

Even his half-hearted attempt at escape was quickly stopped by his own professionally bound knots which stopped him from even standing up and the monkeys started to gather around and on top of him only preventing him from completely falling off the tree.

It took more than an hour and in Aou'nungs mind more than days when the monkeys finally lost interest in him. He was lucky that he only had a few bite marks on his arms and upper body. The played with his hair tail and even his dagger with him unable to stop the rampaging hoard.

As he hung from his branch and the first small rays of sunlight reached his eyes a familiar face appeared before him.

"I am impressed Aou'nung, son of the olo'eyktan. I have never seen a fish be defeated by Syaksyuk so easily. They normally don't even hunt." She landed smoothly on his branch not even making it swing. Still, this time she got closer to him and inspected his bruises and spots. Aou'nung realized she smelled like the forest around him with a sweet aroma of earth and flowers all mixed like the green nature around him. She reminded him nothing of Kiri or Loak and if at all much more like their mother. As she carefully caressed his wounds he finally found his voice again.

"Couldn't have left me hanging a bit longer could you ?"

She smiled and Aou'nung thought to himself that maybe just for that, hanging around on an old tree branch for hours was worth it.

"You did not attack them, that was very good of you. Eywa says do not attack what you do not need or what doesn't hunt you. One day we all go back to her." she still smiled and her voice sounded like a song Aou'nung hadn't heard since his childhood.

"Again, I still don't know your name. How can I even thank you for your rescue if I don't know it."

"You do not need to, I did not rescue you, Aou'nung," she whispered, continuing to smile.

While Aou'nung tried to process those words she again disappeared into the woods but this time looking back at him with a grin on her face.

Aou'nung knew he shouldn't have been surprised but still, he couldn't help but feel disappointed. Now, a little less hopeless and still with her faint smell in his memory he started to loosen the knot binding him to the tree. He almost forgot about his bet with Loak, now focused on a new mission. To find his secret follower again and at least find out her name.

Still shaking in his legs he managed to balance himself on the branch and look around to fully take in his surroundings. Sadly, he couldn't quite remember which direction she climbed off to but he was sure it couldn't have been far.

Though his eyes weren't even yet comfortable with the night he could already feel the sun rising again under the thick roof of leaves the forest made up above him.

Not risking to climb any higher he decided to make his way downwards again in the hopes of many being able to find some kind of footprint to follow. Although he didn't expect much he still felt disappointed reached the ground. His feet and hand bruised by the climbing, he lay close to the ground like he once saw Loak do it when. Back then he remembered, Loak tried to teach him and his sister about their technics of hunting and gathering by reading the footprints and clues the animals of the forest left behind. And even though he could make out some kind of marks on the ground he could neither identify which animal they belonged to nor which way they were heading.

Laying on the ground, his tail twitching restlessly, he felt like an idiot. A fish out of water he thought. How Loak would laugh at him for being even worse at this than he was at diving. Even while Loak wasn't that bad at it as Aou'nung had to admit to himself.

Words of his father came to his mind back when he thought about talked the always present Way of the water.

Like a river, Aou'nung, finding his way through a mountain, must be ever-changing. Never resting until we can be one with Eywa. All our senses must help us to be like the water.

Aou'nungs stomach clenched together as thought about his father. He had never been this far away from home and the only thing keeping his mind straight was the memory of a Omatecicaya he might never see again.

"All our senses," Aou'nung spoke to himself and closed his eyes. He knew he would never be able to find anything familiar on those strange forest grounds but there was one thing he could recognise again. Both her smell and her step were something he would surely never forget again.

And he knew that she had to be somewhere around him. Watching and waiting for him to perhaps embarrass himself again. He smiled thinking of her many even being truly impressed by his skill and immediately concentrated himself.

Underwater, the smell was not as important but one thing he learned was to recognize even the small ripples and waves animals and Navi made while navigating through it.

Just like that, he spend the next hours rigorously hunting an illusive smell and the image of a Navi that just wouldn't leave his mind. Only did he stop when reaching a great clearing between all the trees and bushes. He didn't know how long he had been walking but he saw the sun standing bright above his head. When he looked around he felt a sense of accomplishment as his search brought him to an arrow garnished with the same ornaments he had seen on her bow a while back.

Pulling out the arrow from the thick tree he saw something behind it that he never expected to see at such an unfamiliar place. A great and running river broad and lively almost like the ones he knew from home.

Walking along the river he recognized a familiar voice, but not in the lovely tones he remembered, much rather screaming and cursing in ways he had rarely heard before. Gripping the arrow tight Aou'nung immediately started sprinting towards the noise.

Arriving at another clearing where his Navi, he had searched for so long was fighting intensity with a big menacingly looking fish.

Not a second went by and Aou'nung immediately jumped here to help. He knew that fish although he had rarely seen it out in the open ocean. It has scales as thick as a stone and if you didn't know where to hurt it you were better of leaving it in peace. But Aou'nung knew exactly where his weakness was, using the arrow he still held in his hands, he rammed it right under the giant fin of the fish hitting it right in the heart. Just in a few seconds The big twitching body Lost all its strength and fell onto the two jamming them together.

"Little fish! What are you doing here, is supposed to be the one guarding you." She gasped out in surprise but quite possibly also because of the fish pressing heavily on her chest.

"Well you kind of neglected your supervision duty and at last, didn't even tell me your name. I had to come and find you."

And there it was again that beautiful smile Aou'nung had hoped to see. "Well then, you did. Aou'nung defeater of the great Syaksyuk's would you know to help me get rid of this big fish?"

Now it was Aou'nung's time to smile as he pushed away the fish from both of the back into the water. "I know these fish," he says, still gasping for air a bit. " But I never expected them to be here, they belong on the islands of my home not in these sweet rivers."

"It's the RDA, they are disturbing Eywas's peace. Fish are where they're not supposed to be and people are fleeing their homes." now stopping to smile and looking at Aou'nung.

"I never thought of that." He replied, now feeling almost nervous, seeing her again all tall and mighty standing before him.

"You said, you are here because of a bet? Well then it is a dangerous bet, these days it is not safe in the forest for fish like you. Please, go home you see what can happen" Even the last bit of Aou'nungs confidence faded as he heard that but he wasn't about to leave. Not until he proved himself, that was his goal.

"Well then, you think a little fish like me can't prove himself worthy of knowing the name of a Syaksyuk like you? Then let me show you." even before she could react to being called a Syaksyuk Aou'nung pulled her close to him and threw himself into the running river. He knew he did more than just surprise her when he saw the astonished look on her face.

Again he couldn't help but smile.

The waters they were in now, although of an unfamiliar river, felt like a piece of the home had found him between all these strange plants and animals. Aou'nung was with that, more than ready to show her a part of his world.

"Aou'nung what are you trying to do ?? Do you want to drown me ?" She screamed at him as they both resurfaced, her gasping for air.

"Well, you never wanted to tell me your name. So, since a little fish out of water isn't probably worthy of hearing it, I wanted to show you what a fish in water can do. Even if it's not the ocean."

To his surprise, he heard her laugh out loud for the first time. "No my little fish. That is now what I meant. But go on." she grinned "Show me what makes you so special, son of the great olo'eyktan."

With the hand of her sentence, she quickly put her hand on his head and pushed him beneath the water's surface.

Satisfied with her approval, Aou'nung wasn't going to come up again that quickly.

He dove around her once or twice as he watched her head over the water follow him.

A bit along the river bed he spotted something. While there weren't any Ilus or coral reefs for him to show of to her he had discovered a little swarm of glowing fish in the distance.

Completely in his element again he gestured her to follow him but waited unsuccessfully for a response.

He reemerged from the water just to have a clear look at her happy but slightly confused face. "You are very quick underwater, that I must admit. But what was it that you wanted to show me Aou'nung? I couldn't hear a thing."

" This is the language of the Metkayina." he moaned. More annoyed by himself than her. How could he have forgotten the countless days he spent teaching Loak and Kiri just the simplest of things? But he knew it wasn't in vain. And it did also make quite an impression.

"I can teach you a few phrases if you like. But first follow me, as quietly as possible. Or just hang onto me if that's easier. " he exclaimed all proudly feeling a bit like his father once teaching him.

"Sure you can little fish, but I want to grab onto your tail no matter how nice you ask" she boldly countered his daydreams and brought him back to the river.

Sighing he dove back under the water with her right at his tail and although she was by far not as good or quiet of a swimmer as him, they did manage to reach the small swarm.

Aou'nung smiled at her astonished face underwater and signed just the word for fish to her.

Slowly and again and again he repeated it until she picked on and started to do it herself.

Looking incredibly proud of herself, Aou'nung pulled her back above the water worried she might forget to breathe as focused as she seemed.

"Look little fish !!! I can understand you." This time not talking to him but the swarm right in front of them. " You couldn't have been a better teacher Aou'nung. But what are those called? I've rarely seen them before."

"They are similar to your Sloapek," Aou'nung responded knowing that he at least managed to show off a bit. " Or pincer fish as the sky people call them. Small and harmless to us, but for little prey it can be quite deadly." Saying that he pinched his fingers together like two big claws and started wandering towards her.

"Although they look quite pretty, especially at night, just one bite and they got their prey caught forever." He says as he now furiously started to tickle her, water splashing all around them and both of them laughing.

Her laugh sounded beautiful to Aou'nung, like the sounds of those many colorful birds he saw on his first morning in the forest.

He couldn't remember if he ever heard anything more calming to him.

Hours passed for what felt like minutes to Aou'nung as they playfully swam and splashed through the river. Only when the sun started to set did they both realize how much time had passed.

"Well, I suppose you did you did keep your promise and continued watching over me. You even continued to hide your name from me."

" That is true little Aou'nung. But I realized I want more than that. Maybe I should have shown you our world from the beginning. Come on, now you can follow me.”

he didn't need to hear that twice. Without a word more spoken the two of them left the water.

Her wet hair gracefully wound along her shoulders and swung in the tact of her steps.

Over and over he was fascinated by this mysterious creature, like fire and rain her mood changed and he was willing to change with it just to be hers.

#avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #aounung #atwow fanfiction #james cameron avatar #aoung x reader #aoung smut #soooooon #im to tired #aounung au #Aounung avatar #avatar ao'nung #avatar twow #fanfic #fan fic writing

38 notes · View notes

mysticsparklewings · 2 months ago

Text

Obscutober 2024 Day 17: Avolation 🪽

----------

Avolation (n.)

the act of flying [away]; flight

[obsolete] evaporation

----------

Today I bring you art with a big side of Mixed Feelings™️

You might say all of the good ways to tie my ideas together for this one just seemed to fly away before I could fully grasp them. 😅

Click the "Keep Reading" and we'll talk a bit more about those ideas and my general process. ✨

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

----------

Today I've done my level-best to stay on-task, so hopefully if this description doesn't take too long (...or randomly delete itself...) hopefully this one should be going up a little earlier than usual.

That said, we have another one that...I like it, but I'm not sure this is necessarily "the best" that I could do for the prompt.

Birds and feathers for "flight" felt like an obvious "must" to me. But I did want to include some slightly less conventional ideas; I thought about butterflies and was really close to including them, but while I was looking for references, I spotted a dragonfly picture and changed course.

I think butterflies one might associate a little bit more with calmly flittering around flowers, delicately pausing to sample the nectar, etc. Meanwhile, dragonflies move fast and generally in my experience are quicker to fly away when approached than butterflies are.

I was planning on including some kind of flower from the beginning—see more or less what I just said about butterflies—but similar to the dragonfly, I spotted a dandelion while I was looking for butterfly references and said: Wait a minute. Dandelions would actually be kind of perfect, because their little wispy seeds "fly away" in the wind.

And, weed or not, I have a really big soft spot for white dandelions. [And baby's breath—Anything that passes for springtime snow without actually being snow.]

I also wanted to get clouds or cloud-adjacent shapes in their somewhere both because clouds > sky > things fly in the sky, but also as a more subtle nod to the obsolete definition since clouds are part of the water cycle and evaporation in that way.

The thing is that I'm not sure I managed to tie all of those ideas together in the most satisfying way. And I had a lot of space leftover that, as you can see, I ended up filling with just a little hatching, some dots, and...tiny triangles. 🫤 I don't know why, the triangle just felt like they worked. Maybe they're seeds the bird was eating and dropped, I don't know.

But I only really made efforts to change what I originally did with the clouds, and I am at least much happier with the final cloud shapes you see here. I'd had more trouble than I anticipated making the birds and dragonflies in the first place, so having to do them over was intensely unappealing.

I think it's sort of the opposite problem I had shortly ago on Day 15. That day I had a bunch of strong ideas, and trying to jam them all together gelled really well. Here...The ideas were strong, but they just didn't coalesce as nicely as I'd hoped.

Likewise, I think the color scheme is doing some of the more heavy lifting here. I mostly went with the first choices that came to mind; The only significant changes are that I went with more of a BlueJay-Blue for the bird instead of a brown or more Robin-like color scheme, and a lot of dragonflies I see around here are more of a dark reddish brown, so I went with a much brighter orange-y red. I really wanted to keep things light and kind of airy to go with the clouds/evaporation thing.

The final product isn't bad, and I like a lot of the individual pieces. I just think it needs some help in tying all the pieces together that I apparently simply did not have in me today. 🤷‍♀️

Ah well. I do have slightly higher hopes for tomorrow's word at least—It's one I've been really looking forward to. 😉 Let's just hope I don't end up hyping it up too much like I kinda did Day 8. 😅

And let us also hope that I don't have the issue with finding music for today's cross-post on Instagram like I did yesterday. I found and made something work, but I had a pretty different song in mind that I thought was a perfect fit and Instagram for whatever reason doesn't believe the song exists. 🙄

Oh the many little idiosyncrasies of social media, I loathe you so...

----------

See the Prompt List

Obscutober Concept Inspired by nikolas_tower

----------

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

3 notes · View notes

whichuniverseisthis · 1 year ago

Text

Sooo... I did a thing. Here's the list of Pokémon I think would fit the td reboot cast. Choices are based on either esthetic, personality, certain characteristics or a mix of everything. I'm planning on doing the other casts as well, btw.

Axel: Scizor - I thought about an "axe" Pokémon, and the only thing that came to mind was Kleavor, but since I didn't want to give her a Pokémon from 200 years ago (no, I don't count the fact that you can have it on SV), I thought about the closest thing to it, and that was Scizor, which is still pretty fitting, if you ask me.

Bowie: Meowscarada - I decided to have Bowie and Priya foil each other. I haven't played SV, but from the Pokédex entries I've read, it seems like Meowscarada uses deceit to hit it's enemies. Plus, I think Dark type fits Bowie pretty well, and it also has his color palette (green and purple, though in reverse quantity).

Caleb: Dragonair - At first I wanted to go for a pink Pokémon since it's his main color, but I already headcanoned Milotic with Alejandro, so I went with the next closest thing. Plus, if in season 2 his own description ends up being true (strong and kind) Dragonite could be pretty fitting too.

Chase: Impidimp - A reddish little trickster gremlin who likes to cause chaos. I don't think I need to explain more.

Damien: Kecleon - Decided to go with his "biology nerd" side. A Kecleon seems like a species he would be really interested in, while also being a not-too-strong Pokémon.

Emma: Morpeko - I couldn't help thinking about the "Bad Emma" during the pole challenge. Plus, an overall cute Pokémon who gets angry because of a specific reason seems pretty on point.

Julia: Zweilous - Two-faced Dark type Pokémon, violent and strong. The colors are actually the opposite of hers (white, yellow and light blue vs black, blue and red). She probably wouldn't use it too often, but it does fit.

Millie: Gothita - I started thinking Psychic types would fit her well, so I started looking into it, and Gothita's Dex description is funnily on point. Observes other Pokémon and Humans to watch things only it seems to see (self-explanatory), and it apparently talks alone (which could represente her notebook).

MK: Nickit - Didn't know whether to go with the technology side or the thieving side, but in the end I chose the more obvious one.

Nichelle: Mime Jr. - A pink little Fairy, who becomes a full fledged performer (both as Mr. Mime and Mr. Rime), is the closest thing to an actor I could think about for her.

Priya: Quaquaval - Foiling Bowie, a Fighting type fitting of her, with her same blue palette and oriental elements in the design. Meowscarada and Quaquaval also have a weakness and a resistance to each other. Also a callback to when she acted as a bird to save Millie from the cassowary.

Raj: Alolan Vulpix - Ice type who become a Fairy type, the more trickster type (he was the one who came up with the idea to stop the raptor). Funnily enough both Ice and Fairy are super effective against Bowie's Meowscarada.

Ripper: Stunky - Do I really need to explain this? At some point he even does the same pose.

Scary Girl: Mimikyu - I could have gone with any Ghost type, but I thought about when Zee said she dressed like a doll, so I decided it was either Mimikyu or Banette.

Wayne: Alolan Sandshrew - Ice type who's also a Steel type, more strong willed and super effective against Raj's fairy (the leader and more competitive).

Zee: Slowpoke - I thought Water types fit Zee pretty well, and Slowpoke is probably the laxest and dumbest Pokémon I could have chosen. Psyduck was also an option at some point, but Golduck was too cool-looking for him.

24 notes · View notes

stillness-in-green · 6 months ago

Text

Pair of Advisor (Anime-Style) Asks

For @shockersalvage and @plf-advisor-stan, with thanks for your patience. I've got another ask from salvage coming down the pipe shortly, but it developed a rant on me that I want to give the space of a dedicated post, whereas these two covered quite similar ground!

First up!

I went and looked up the scene out of curiosity, mostly to hear what his voice sounds like in advance of the hospital stuff, and wow that is not the voice I would have gone with; it sounds way too old. I realize the advisors are all supposed to be heads of bases and such, but it’s very clear from their designs that a number of them are still rather young people, and I feel quite strongly that Scarecrow should have been one of them, the better to have him, Spinner and Shouji all fighting for control of the crowd at the hospital, all thinking about and representing different visions for the future.

(Putting the rest of this under a cut, because between the two of them, they got fairly rambly, and also the second one has a bunch of pictures.)

Getting past my gut response there, the pep talk framing is a little strange, given the fact that he’s the second-ranked behind Nimble, so it’s pretty weird for her to be in need of a pep talk from him. On the other hand, given the way the dialogue flows, I would not have to strain myself to imagine that Nimble is rolling her eyes a bit to herself at Scarecrow reiterating all this stuff they already know and replaying a message they’ve already heard half a dozen times because he likes to hear himself talk and also feel validated by the higher-ups. XD

(Man, I also still dislike the choice for Skeptic’s voice actor—or if not the actor himself, at least the emotional range they’ve directed him to play the character in. Needs to be 300% more spastic-sounding.)

As to the colors….yeesh. Scarecrow’s pretty straightforward—I expect I’ll have more opinions once we see him unmasked and I can check his head-stripes and his scar. The birds-egg blue for Cementoss’s cousin is at least eye-catching, and probably any color they chose would look pretty strange, given his appearance! I do like that they maintain his somewhat uncertain, pensive expressions (insomuch as those can be read off of him in the manga). I'll have one other observation to make about him (his wildly inconsistent height) which I'll cover in the next ask.

Nimble, though. MAN, if I could sit down and have a chat with whoever in the BNHA production staff is so unbelievably enamored with blue-eyed blonde women…… Why would you look at her strange paper-strip hair and think, “Yeah, obviously yellow-blonde is the right color for this. And give her purple-gray eyes, which is far enough from blue for plausible deniability. And the blocky dude can be a shade of blue chiefly associated with blue cotton candy, but The Girl definitely needs to have a skin tone indistinguishable from the palest and most conventionally attractive female characters in the show. Oh, and of course make her shirt pink.”

Just yeesh.

As to lumping in The Question, it’s a pretty strange choice to make, given the explicit dialogue being played there about how all three of Spinner’s advisors—obvious heteromorphs, the lot of them—were placed in his regiment Because Of Who They Are. The group shot the anime uses seems to mostly understand that,[1] given the anime-original designs of the rest of the people in the shot, but The Question is not a clear heteromorph; he pretty much just looks like an alternate dimension Mr. Compress. Kind of feels like the animators just wanted to minimize the amount of designs they had to come up with, so they grabbed the only one of the other Support Regiment advisors who could feasibly be a heteromorph and threw him in there, even though including him kind of misses the point—that it’s only Spinner’s underlings who are specifically and universally heteromorphic, not the entirety of the regiment he co-leads with Mr. C. Which we know because neither Galvanize, Band Jacket Guy nor even The Question visibly qualify as Obvious Heteromorphs the same way all three of Spinner’s advisors do.

1: Mostly. There’s a Hero-looking gal whose closest thing resembling a non-baseline feature is an unusually squared-off chin, which mostly comes off as mild cartoony caricature rather than a truly divergent facial structure. There’s also a bowl cut dude two over from her who would need to have some truly bizarre eyes hiding under that hairline to make him anything other than baseline as all get-out.

Anyway, I see between this and the ask below that the anime’s made a few calls about adding them in where the manga never indicated their presence! I wonder if that means it will also try to show more of them arrested when the anime inevitably gets to the tiresome scenes of the police talking about how they’re for-sure-definitely wiping things up at their designated battlefields? Most of that stuff is, I think, just floating talk bubbles in the manga, but the anime will have to kill several seconds of time for voice actors to read those lines, and I think pretty often will try to fill that space with actual illustration of what’s being talked about, which Horikoshi only does when he’s in full montage mode, seldom when he’s in active/ongoing action. Having more advisors available increases the number of Known Faces the animators can use for such filler shots.

While I forever crave more about them (more on that shortly), I definitely don’t relish the anime’s increased screentime being all A) still-frames of advisors when their group is being talked about in broad terms or B) anime-original shots of them being arrested!

Thanks for the ask, and I should have the other one up before the day's out!

---

Second up!

Also included in the ask were the following screenshots!

I gave my general opinions on the anime-mode advisors in the answer above but ohhhh my heavens, the sizing is so funny. So, so funny. A lot of the issue is probably that Horikoshi is not very consistent either, of course, but wow they weren’t even trying to keep #3 consistent there, were they?

For some comparison purposes, here’s Scarecrow’s first panel where you can really, fairly judge his height:

A true short king. Smolest of boys and realest of meowmeows. Scarecrow they could never make me hate you.

Look at him. Mentally try to move him back to where he’d be standing directly next to Hose Face. He’s, what, maybe four feet tall? No wonder he has to stand on top of a tall building to give his speech.

Then look at this one, where he’s of a very comparable height to Koda (height: 6’1”):

Then these two, where Horikoshi can't decide whether he's a little shorter or a little taller than Nimble, but certainly over 4’0”!:

So he’s a bit all over the place—and that’s hardly unique to him; Horikoshi draws pretty wildly inconsistent heights even amongst his main cast.

But man, #3 is on a different level even from that.

Let’s expand the frame on that last picture, shall we?

Now, when I had looked at this shot in the past, I had mainly been focused on the faces of the characters in it, particularly Bindi the Younger because I was so pleased to see she’d escaped her even-more-ignominious-than-Piercings-Dude no-hit wipeout against Edgeshot. I hadn’t paid a great deal of attention to Not!Cementoss save to note that he was pretty big. Like, wow, look how tall he is when he’s standing there behind Scarecrow’s shoulder!

But of course, if you look closer, he’s not standing behind Scarecrow’s shoulder. He’s standing in the background, with probably at least three rows of people standing, roughly, between him and the people in front. It’s given away by the silhouetted black heads of the people who are actually standing right in front of him:

Like, not only do those presumably-grown men not quite come all the way up to his shoulder, the width of them compared to him is just cartoonishly shrimpy. The guy is a giant, clearly built on a scale taller and heavier than any normal human. Wow!

…And then of course you go back to this shot and just have to shake your head.

Still, even if his height’s pretty inconsistent, his width is less so. He’s in profile in the shot above, but compare this one, from the advisors’ introductory spread:

He’s taller than The Question, if not by a monumental degree, but even if he were facing the camera directly, his cube-shaped head would still be 2-3x wider than The Question’s.

So it’s a shame that, as your screenshots show, on top of his height being much reduced the anime can’t even manage to keep his width intact. Sad.

Thanks for the ask!

#bnha #plf advisors #stillness answers #shockersalvage #plf-advisor-stan

5 notes · View notes

schermit · 2 years ago

Text

@churromancermasterofchurros @dyinggoosenoises

Thanks for introducing me to this!

Name: You can call me Justin!

Pronouns and gender: I'm a man! He/him is fine.

Sexuality: Honestly, not sure. At this point I'd probably say bisexual. Is that a dumb answer?

Country: US

Top 5 fandoms: Hard question. Probably:

I love the Arcane Ascension novels recently.

Avatar-TLA is an obvious choice!

The SCP Foundation has taken up hours of my time.

The TTRPG community.

I'm throwing in the tumblr wizards here because that shit jives with me for some reason

What is your Most forbidden snack:

Sometimes I smell the cat treats and I get the urge to shove fistfulls into my mouth.

Would you pet a bug: I have pet bugs before.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class:

I have like three eyebrow hairs that will seemingly grow infinitely long if I don't fucken handle them. Also I eat the tails of shrimp too.

What does the color blue taste like: The blue ICEE/Slurpees.

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen:

I love when the sunset hits the mountains and you can see rainclouds in the distance. It's one of my favorite vibes. Look at my blog's banner for reference.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done:

I locked my keys in the car like twice in one week once. I know there are stupider things but my brain must be repressing them now.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say:

I don't even know what to pick seeing as I worked in retail for most of my life. Probably any time a parent would let their kid try to pet the large birds at the pet store I worked at. Those things can amputate fingers.

Hyperfixation song: Currently it is Love's Not Enough by Lane and the Chain

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username:

Username is a portmanteau of a portion of my name and the word 'hermit.' My profile picture is of the plague doctor costume I made!

Dream career as a child: Veterinarian. Turns out you have to cut and stab things.

Dream career as an adult: Probably like successful Twitch Streamer or something. They make bank.

Thoughts on cilantro: I don't even know anymore. I thought I liked it but the last few times I ate it it tasted bitter. So yes I guess? Maybe I got a bad batch.

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why: Uh, not in real life but I was banned by the gamefaqs Pokemon Mystery Dungeon forum because I posted I was 12 like an idiot.

What is your cursed food combination:

I used to put mayo in a slice of bologna and roll it up like some sort of fucked up taquito.

Trans rights? Um, duh! Live your life, people. It has no bearing on mine. I wish I could give everyone struggling a hug. I have a few trans friends/relatives and seeing what they go through breaks my heart sometimes.

And instead of tagging people, if you follow me and you see this, feel free to reblog with your answers. I'd love to read them. :)

#long post #196 #questions

25 notes · View notes

poisonheadcrabsalesman · 1 year ago

Text

New in Town

Original work featuring @bellygunnr's and my ocs :o)

Sometimes the apartment where you live is overbearing and the new guy who moved in definitely has something wrong with him but he's trying his best, even if it makes the AI antsy.

You don't know the newest tenant, the one who was placed into 3-C on the corner above you. You haven't seen him on your morning run or the afternoon mail check or even on your evening trip to the shop on the corner.

You have seen a beat up yellow monstrosity in the parking lot and heard the whispers of a new guy, newer than you from both Mrs. Troy and Señora Goncalves. Mrs. Troy told you over tea after you heard it from Señora Gonclaves after little Samuel showed up at your door with a dish you had to wash and return.

You had no trouble eating, but apparently everyone in your building thought you couldn't feed yourself. Or maybe they just worried. It was sweet, if you hadn’t already caught the interest of an all-seeing mother hen.

It was just funny to you how it worked out. It was hysterical that Mrs. Troy was third in line to bother you about the newer than you guy. Kingfisher hadn't shut up about the new guy, being uncharacteristically verbose despite not attacking you, your lifestyle choices, nor the state of your laundry.

"He has a worse sleep schedule than you, so it's no wonder you don't see him. His background check has some obvious tampering, but I put him in 3-C for a reason and he hasn't done anything except fiddle with his tech and talk to me." It ends the tirade with a synthesized huff and you feel its cameras turn to you for a response.

"Sounds familiar." You reply easily, smug satisfaction welling up as you wait.

"Ugh, fine, yes. You were interesting for other reasons. And more obviously normal and boring. He's interesting and weird and perhaps a danger so I need to keep an eye on him."

"Maybe if you upped the listing price, Landlord, then you wouldn't get all these strange men moving in."

"Hmm. Yes, attracting strange single men with nothing good going on in their lives has led to some problems."

"Ouch! Where's the first law draw the line with “do no harm”? You get mean when you're worried." You toss back as you rummage through your fridge. It was getting a little barren. You stand and peer out the window above the sink. Flowery curtains do nothing to obscure your view of the clouds coming in.

"I'm not worried. I'm vigilant."

"Uh huh. Well, Vigilant, that bright yellow eyesore is coming down the lane so you can creep on your new favorite tenant some more." You snip back.

"He better not be bringing in any more weird plants. You humans and your need for green and fresh air." It grumbles.

You peek out between the blinds and see the man stumble out of his car weighed down by grocery bags.

"Maybe I should go check the mail." You say.

"It hasn't come yet."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to look."

"It's too early for contact! You'll give something away! You're terrible at controlling your face." Kingfisher’s usual blue waveform fuzzes into orange as it gets riled up.

"Nothing but nice things from you today. Why don't you sit there and get some datapoints from me having a normal interaction with a normal guy that you're probably freaking out with your terrible nosey looming."

You stare in silence at the camera above your front door. The interactive screen next to it has returned to the cool blue of Kingfisher Apartments. Complete with the bird logo shooting daggers at you with its eyes.

It extends for the length of time it takes for you to put on your shoes and grab your mail key off the table.

"I don't loom."

"We'll talk about it when I get back, okay dear?"

You close the door and take the stairs at a light jog, reaching the bottom and ducking into the mailbox alcove right as the new guy rounds the bushes and comes into sight of the front door.

You fumble the key into the lock and get the box open in time to hear him start to struggle with the door. A quick glance at the lobby camera. You wink, just to be annoying.

"Oh hey, let me help you with that!" You say, a polite smile on your face. It is genuine, but inside is another kernel of glee as you pat yourself on the back for this performance. "You're new, right? Welcome to the building, I'm over in 2-F."

The new tenant nearly drops his bags and whatever expression was on his face as he mumbled to himself during the journey from the car to the front door is gone.

He stares at you like kicked a kitten in front of him. You smile and then look away, eyes darting as you reflect on how you might have fucked up while holding a door open. This stranger looks like he's being crushed under the weight of too many plastic bags for a single journey up three flights of stairs.

The headphones around his neck make an unpleasant sound and he puts one handful of bags down to mess with the volume. It’s an old thing, analog tech with buttons and wires and not a touchscreen in sight.

"Sorry, yeah hi I'm Aiden. I haven't really met anyone here yet. Just had to run out and grab some food." You look him over as the guy overcorrects into nonchalance seemingly at gunpoint. After a moment his face drops again and he looks like he's wincing.

You, having worked retail, carry on like nothing out of the ordinary has happened. "Nice to meet you, I’m Graham. Can I help you get this stuff up the stairs?"

His eyes dart from you to the cameras to the staircase and the elevator.

"Or we can take the elevator, if you'd like. Looks like you have a lot to carry."

"Stairs!" He nearly shouts, "Stairs are good. I could use the exercise."

You blink and plaster some kind of grin to your face. Stooping to grab his bags and think of some normal conversation points, you grunt as you lift the four bags he had in his left hand.

He looks at you as you let out a soft 'oof'. You readjust the bags and smile. What the hell did this guy buy at the gas station up the road?

One bag is filled to the brim with instant mac and chips, but the other 3 are heavy as hell and seem to have milk, butter, and sacks of sugar and flour?

"I uh, needed some essentials."

"Hey man, no worries. I was the same when I moved in." You say through grit teeth. You work out so this shouldn't be hard, but goddamn what kind of guy buys 3 packs of butter when he moves in. Is he eating it by the stick?

"Like I said I'm over on the second floor if you need anything, and the neighbors around here are nice. They'll feed you as soon as look at you." You huff a laugh as you turn up the second landing. "Where are you?"

He struggles behind you with his own bags, now split between both hands. You can't hear the noise from the headphones but you swear it sounds almost like laughter. "3...C" He heaves out between gasps for air.

The guy is at least a head shorter than you and then some. He’s also skinny as hell. Wiry type of build buried under a bulky jacket and fraying shirt. He doesn't have any bad vibes about. Just weird. Antsy. The kind of guy you'd imagine gets drug along into things or accidentally gets in over his head.

3-C seems to mock you both as you make it to the apartment. The threshold seems less friendly than the other off white rooms; something about whatever is behind it sets off your nerves in a way the guy, Aiden, hasn't. Something like a chill passes over you and you look over your shoulder while he unlocks the door.

He stumbles inside with his bags with a sigh of relief, and then remembers you. There's anxiety in his eyes as he looks over his shoulder into the gloom of the room. You smile and hold out the bags and wish him well again.

"Welcome to the building." You smile and wave over your shoulder. You keep your pace normal until you reach the stairwell and jog down it. It's not until you're in your own apartment again with the door locked do you say anything to Kingfisher.

"Can you get haunted?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Aiden seems fine, scared, hiding something, but I didn't read him as dangerous. But his apartment feels...off. Scary off."

"Oh so we're using your gut to vet people now? And of course I can't get haunted. Ghosts aren't real."

"You don't know that."

#my writing #oc tag #OC: Graham #OC: Kingfisher #other's ocs #original work #When not going insane about my other guys I am sticking these guys in a blender

26 notes · View notes