#i know that's legit impossible but just
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Yes Hello to all my fellow Miss Lemon fans out there:
If you love her as much as I do, then 6.2 Hickory Dickory Dock is the episode for you
Now let us all just take a moment out of our busy day to bask in her glory:
That coat with those hats?? ICONIC she has such a flawless style
and this little scene where she's like 'this is just a quirk of Mr. Poirot's, don't worry about it' fellas help she's so cute
also HELP lads she took Poirot's comment about Inspector Japp's 'healthy appetite' way too literally!! LEMON SOLE! she's so funny aagh
Also she looks really damn good in burgundy wow
Also you know I hate the trope where guys tell ladies to take their glasses off and let their hair flow in the wind because they'd somehow be 'sexier' or whatever. That is just simply not true. Case in point: Look at how cute Miss Lemon is in her glasses!!
Just. Everyone just. Look at my favourite girl. Look at her!!! Her filing system is perfect! Her filing system could kick your ass!!!
#Okay. don't kill me. but I'm gonna say it.#She has red/auburn hair. Which we all know is a weakness of Hastings'.#so like. Why didn't the showrunners kinda push them together more?#like in the books Miss Lemon was supposed to be 'impossibly ugly' or whatever the quote was#but show!Felicity is cute and adorable and beautiful and lovely and flawless and okay sorry I'll stop. but anyway. My point is#they get this absolute gorgeous cutie to play Miss Lemon and made her sorta exactly Hastings' type and then they don't do anything with it?#No implications like we get with him and Poirot? No touching or preening or lingering glances or smiles?#Sure in the Adventure of the Italian Nobleman Hastings legit punches a guy in the face for her#but she's not there to see it!#and we sorta get a whumpy scene in Double Clue where she's tending to his wounds with iodine so they could have played that up#esp. if they were really trying to no homo everything.#but they didn't. like. he barely looks at her in that scene.#And maybe they were just trying to stay truer to the source material but like. They still could have *implied* a great deal#and they didn't. IDK it was just. an interesting choice is all#they certainly imply a lot of things about him and Poirot (for which I owe them my life LOL) so it probably would have been super easy to d#maybe they were afraid of pissing off the fans? idk#or maybe those Hastings/Poirot implications were a simple result of the exceptional acting chemistry b/w David Suchet and Hugh Fraser#which of course fits into the canon of Poirot having the absolute biggest soft spot for Captain Arthur Hastings that is humanly possible#ANYWAY I LOVE YOU MISS LEMON YOU ARE MY QUEEN#and like okay I guess I can see how Pauline Moran isn't '''''''conventionally attractive''''''' or anything#but given the right storyline I could see Hastings being down bad for her version of Felicity Lemon#but maybe that's just because *I'm* down bad for her LOL#Poirot series#Poirot#Felicity Lemon#Miss Lemon#back on my screencapping bullshit#also if you made it through all of these tags bless u what a trooper you are thanks for listening to my ramblings
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hate teacher.
so angry.
he told me my 6 months worth of work has to be scrapped and entirely redone in 2 weeks. thats literally impossible. i am the tiniest inconvenience away from having an entire meeting with him to read him a 5 page essay on how he has been of no help this entire semester and last and how he has done nothing but inconvenience me all year.
hes seen the work many times before but only brought up the issue now. 2 weeks before a progress report. He told me the thing hes been having me work on for an entire month cant be part of my progress report because its not specific enough.
IF THIS WAS GOING TO BE A PROBLEM HE WOULD HAVE ALREADY KNOWN AND HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE I WAS 6 MONTHS IN.
he blatantly holds favoritism as every other student (they all happen to be cis men) get all the help in the world yet i get no help at all and when he tells me i have to scrap all my work he doesnt even point me in the right direction just says redo it you have 2 weeks.
this is a group project but every other group is doing one project with all people working together yet mine is doing one project each person meaning i cant even get assistance. two of the people in my group HAVE NOT SPOKEN A WORD TO ME SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR.
he is also needlessly rude. instead of just politely saying there might be an issue he feels the need to make me feel like an idiot for not realizing it sooner. I am half convinced this man finds joy in publicly humiliating and shaming me in any way possible. You are a grown ass man what the actual fuck. You are in your god damn 50s.
#loser speaks#vent#i am two seconds away from yelling at him in front of everyone#i am going to continue with what ive been working on till the progress report than fix after and if he doesnt let me im kicking his ass#it is litterally impossible to redo it in the time i have#i can legit use half the stuff i have even after redoing but only if he lets me keep going with what i have till the report#i am almost baffled this man even has his job because every issue ive asked help on hes clueless#like more dumb than me. did not know how to help and i had to figure out myself#HOW DO YOU HAVE YOUR JOB IF YOUR DUMBER THAN YOUR STUDENTS#also he just. cannot get his thoughts across#every time he talks its like random nonsence with no meaning#none of his words MEAN anything#like. is it so hard to answer a simple question with a straightforward response?#typing this out tho has made me realize this man is an idiot and a giant baby so i actually dont care anymore#honestly im better than him and am going to do so much greater things than he ever did so im just gonna ignore him#get through the year and ill never have to see him again 👍
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Accidentally been isolating myself for like 2 yrs now so my goal this yr is to be more social and basically almost went into cardiac arrest inviting a rando to queue up with me on ovw
#vark posts#they said yes and we've been playing for like 3 days now :^)#its been perfect actually#ive gotten to the point where i just legit dont know how to talk to ppl#legitimately i feel like i just copy other ppls words everytime i have a convo or type up a post#cause it feels impossible to string words together#this person & i dont talk much but we mess around a lot in game#and its been doing wonders to fill that socialization need without stressing me tf out#ik i need to go more out of my comfort zone and have conversations but im proud of myself for even just initiaing it#also dont diss me for playing ovw again lol#its unfortunately good for interacting with ppl lol
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@staff If my dash turns into that messy, confusing thing everyone been complaining about i will be very upset. Please don’t do this!
#tumblr experience#personal#I'm legit hoping this is just an elaborate prank#And I'll wake up and everyone will go 'ha ha! Psych!'#I'd be so mad but also relieved#I am legit scared of that#It's so . . . BUSY!#i just know that my ocd#and that 'can't tune anything out' thing my brain has#wouldn't be able to handle it#If my dash turned into that it would make tumblr impossible to use for me#and be a huge knock to my mental health
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ethan hunt & buffy summers: my girlfriend is a murderer so what that doesn't make her a bad person!!
#djfjgjg#i know this is. a very niche post.#idc#buffy in most of s3 and in 4x15 is like okay but what if faith's sorry or hurt!!! what if she needs someone!!!! i cant just leave her alone#ethan legit said THAT DOESNT MAKE HER A BAD PERSON#anyway. insanity taking over#jana.txt#mission impossible#btvs
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*slams hands on desk* paintings of saints staring at their mortal peers with passive aggressive judgement WHEN
enough paintings of saints where they're looking heavenward in ecstatic agony or down with love and mercy on their onlookers as they ascend. we need more paintings where the martyr is looking accusatorily directly at the viewer.
#the internal conflict#like the emotional kind rather than the schism kind#but that too i guess#inherent in the entire concept of saints fascinates the fuck out of me#there's the bet-hedging of 'yeah obviously god loves us and whatever but just to be safe we'll pray to a specialist'#that alone has so much resentment and fear wrapped up in it that it's WILD#then there's the way that sainthood kind of undermines what makes jesus special#like yeah he's on a different level and all but it turns out a TON of people can perform miracles#and you have to pull off three to even be a saint!#like okay this is for the sake of buying into the bit rhetorically#but the idea that there could be people who pulled off one or two legit divine miracles but didn't quite hit the mark as saints#is such a brain-breakingly huge fuck you to normal people while simultaneously taking the wind out of jesus' sails??#like yeah if you tried harder you could be inhumanly special too but even buying into the core conceit it's a functionally impossible bar#i know the point isn't that people should seek sainthood#but you KNOOOOWWWW that's the vibe for so fucking many people#and even if it weren't! that's STILL the goalpost that people will set for other people!#idk i lost the plot somewhere along the way here but man the whole idea that there's this huuuuge gray area#between entirely divine and entirely mortal#and you'll never know where you are on that scale and you're worse off for prideful speculation but also for not pushing for divinity#is some practically calvinist damned if you do damned if you don't shit#and it's hilarious to me to picture saints as people who nailed the balance between full-throated piety and tacit holier than thou vibes#like the idea that someone is surrounded by people who are like 'yeah peaseblossom over here--'#i had to use a shakespearean fae name because it was the only way to be sure i wasn't naming a real saint#'--is sooo devout. rubbing our noses in it all the time.' a#nd someone else is like 'omg mustardseed stfu; we all know she's literally going to be a saint someday.'#and peaseblossom walks by like 'oh hey ladies i didn't see you at 5am mass today' with her i'm not like other girls vibe fully on display#idk man it's just funny to me#ffd comments#ffd tags#religion
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so weird when my dad and brother say that they feel like we never talk. well yes I haven’t noticed an issue.
#og#well sorry one of you is impossible to get along with and the other is conservative#like I do legit feel bad#but with the amount of problems my brother has caused I do not feel sympathy for him#he has been provided all the help he could dream of#his own non acceptance is not my issue#and I don’t know what to talk to my dad about he’s just constantly sleep deprived and it’s like. oh yeah. math class. wow.
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WOAH I got posted to some shitty ableist subreddit again HOW SURPRISING.
And they have so little to go on that they're accusing me of being a fake alter just bc I'm narcoleptic, because "it's a physical thing we'd all have it" - acting as if there aren't also psychological symptoms that can cause sleep difficulties. HOW SURPRISING.
These people will do one google search and think they have a medical degree its legit so funny...............
- JuKo
#like I was directly observed by a psychiatrist and they confirmed I exist#but internet strangers know everything abt me from one singular thing I posted online OBVIOUSLY#brendiary#did#dissociative identity disorder#its almost like...... the psychological narcolepsy was a coping mechanism........#bc being unconscious benefitted my survival#like. hello? its not far fetched to say that some ppl undergo traumatic experiences that cause them to pass out / blackout#and obviously this can present in a system are they really this uneducated#again we have been observed by multiple psychs so its legit impossible to win with these ppl they just hate all mentally disabled folks#it shows#yes I get sleep attacks when im overstimulated#can u BELIEVE that sleep attacks arent always caused by a physical health issue... no way
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ok i’m going to say it. i think it’s annoying how some of my classmates make staying on campus at the library their whole personality….i know this girl that yesterday was like i’m not going to let myself stay at the library past 8pm today and i’m like???? 8pm???? our class ended at 3 😭 now why do you have to force urself to leave the library after FIVE HRS and be like oh man i wish i could stay longer like WHAT??? and she goes to the library on the weekends too. i’m like literally u r unwell. like this has to be some type of mental illness. and she doesn’t like it either she’s always like i wish i could leave but i have to go to the library for many many hrs i just do not get it. like i don’t get it at ALL.
#michelle speaks#my friends all go to the library after class & i’m legit like i do not like u ppl enough to stay after class lmfao.#like i am OUT of there. i am like BYE!!!!!! there is no one on this earth that could get me to stay after class fr…..#u know what maybe my adhd is a blessing in that it makes it impossible for me to b obsessed w going to the library…..#like i get going to the library to get ur work done but there is being normal abt it#and then there is like. the legit martyr complex some ppl get abt spending 12 hrs at the library every day 😭#like at a certain point ur just doing that to be like i’m soooo tortured i spent every day at the library 😔 like ok. u don’t have to? 😭
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Can I Fill You Up, Baby?

Synopsis. There’s no way he had a breéding kink, right? That was before he was balls-deep in you, cúmming in you for the third time in a row now.
Pairing. Multiple x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, unprotected, lots of cúm, overstim, multiple rounds, mating press, breeding, pet names (my girl), swearing.
Word count. 1.5k
A/N. DON’T LOOK AT MEEEE.

Boys who didn’t know they have a breeding kink.
Pfft, seriously? Those were straight out of hentai, he’d roll his eyes as his friends tittered about it. “Next thing you’ll tell me is that tentacle monsters are totally legit, too.”
Because he didn’t have a breeding kink, right?
Well, at least he didn’t think so…but right now, with you sprawled underneath him, eyes half-lidded, and dripping cunt sucking his cock in so deliciously - he thinks the idea might not be too far-fetched after all.
Ripping off what remained of your top, lips searing against your skin as he bit down hard - marking you. You were so fucking aroused, pretty pussy pooling and forming debauched little strings of slick that connect you to his heavy balls. Throaty, desperate little grunts leaving him each time they slap against your skin, in time with the tight, little circles he drew on your throbbing clit.
A quick, maddening tempo he was losing his mind to.
Right now, he was absolutely feral where he was usually suave in sex. For some reason, that image of you babysitting your friend’s kid earlier today burns into his mind, jolting some raw, carnal part of him awake as he keeps ramming his cock into your snug cunt. Over and over. Purposefully and sinfully.
Ah, how lovely you would look so round and glowing with his kid. You’d look so pretty carrying his seed. The swell of your belly just because of him - all him.
“Baby…” he starts, voice hoarse with need. At your answering mewl, writhing beneath him, he continues, words that come straight from his throbbing erection. “Can I fill you up? Lemme fill you up. Please, my girl.”
“Ah! Hah- yes. Yes yes yes, please. Cum in me baby, fill me up.” Raw, pleading whines leave your bruised lips. Drool already dripping down the corner of your mouth at how deliciously filthy he was fucking you.
Body trembling, a shiver runs down your spine as you watch his pupils dilate, cock twitching so animalistically inside you at your words. Thrusts increasing impossibly, his thumb was now frenzied on your clit, desperately chasing both your highs.
Now, you’ve heard of orgasms that sneak up on you. Silent, powerful waves that leave you speechless. And before you know it, you’re creaming around his thick cock. Stars behind your eyes and a breathless whisper of his name leaving your swollen lips.
Seeing you so debauched underneath him sends him over the edge as well, his own release exploding into your awaiting pussy. Filling you up. Hips never slowing down, pumping hot ropes of cum into you animalistically. Your walls flutter around him, as if desperately trying to suck his big cock back in with each thrust.
Yet, your moans turn into sensitive gasps at the way your loving boyfriend still doesn’t show any signs of stopping - even as your jolts of pleasure turn into nothing but mere tingles. Thighs clenching around his toned waist, a question.
“Shhh, don’t worry, pretty girl. One more, you gotta do is take it.”
And he’s pushing in again, swollen tip hot and still hard and hot against your sloppy entrance. Both of you hissing at the overstimulation. Oh. Oh, shit.
“Hngh- you’re-” God. Looking up into those darkened eyes, something carnal glinting dangerously in them - only one thought rings in your head, going straight down to your dripping cunt - you’d be lucky to make out of this in one piece.
You can do nothing but lay there and take it as large hands spread your legs even more shamefully. His cum warm and dribbling out of you, fully exposed to his hungry gaze. Body jerking as he manhandles your legs onto his sculpted shoulders. Folding you in half, pressing down down down-
A mating press. A fucking mating press.
Scratch that, you’d be lucky to make it out of this alive.
He doesn’t waste time.
Splitting you open on his thick cock immediately, pushing back into your tight walls. Head thrown back and eyes rolling to the back of his head so pornographically at the way your cunt flutters around him - wetter and sloppier than before with his cum, struggling to take him again. Warm - so warm with his seed.
God, he has to fight down some feral, animalistic part of him that wants to just plunge into you till his twitching balls smack your ass. Not even waiting for you to adjust.
But no. No, he must be careful with the mother of his children - treat you like fine porcelain. Just as soon as he breaks you like one right now.
Fuck.
One, harsh thrust. His achingly hard cock splitting you open, pushing against the heady combination of resistance and your walls milking him to insanity. Sweaty forehead meeting yours, he can’t decide between the sinful sight of your cunt clenching around his length and the way your swollen, kiss-bitten lips fall into such a pretty oh!
“Oh- hah! Baby, please. Don’t hold back.”
Not that he was going to anyway. “Then take it like a good girl while I breed you, my lil’ slut.” his voice low and husky, making your cunt clamp down in anticipation.
And before you know it, his tight balls are flush against your ass, thick head kissing your cervix so painfully good. Hips rearing back - back back back, pulsing veins massaging your walls as he pulls out till his furiously flushed tip is just teasing your entrance. Only to slam back into you with one rough thrust, with little regard for your poor, abused cunt.
The bed creaks in protest as he starts up a merciless pace, not taking the time to ease it in for either of you. Throbbing cock sliding in and out of your dripping cunt in rough, purposeful strokes that have you gripping the headboard for stability.
Your cunt stings in both overstimulation and the way his tight balls smack against you at his unforgiving pace, strings of slick and cum connecting you to each other. “Hah- oh. So good, pussy sucking me dry so good Hngh-” he gasps out over the lewd slapping of skin on skin, mouth moving before his mind does.
Ass burning at the friction of his pelvis. Cum leaking out of you to pool beneath you. It was so fucking debauched. He was absolutely too far gone. Completely set on filling you till you explode.
“Oh, fuck. Gonna cum. Gonna fill you up again, my pretty girl- hngh-”
You whine at the pain and pleasure, far too cock-drunk to form any coherent sentences, body arching up for more more more-
You both cum with a raw, fucked-out whimper. Your walls stretch painfully as it tries to accommodate both his fat cock and another spurt of his cum. Tears stinging your eyes at the sensitivity, all you know is a burst of pleasure and the realization of how absolutely full you are of his seed.
It leaks out of you, seeping into your skin and you can almost feel it sloshing inside of your snug cunt. Mind hazy and vision blurring at this point. Yet, he still doesn’t stop.
You’re probably sobbing at this point - you don’t even know. Completely drunk on you and the idea of breeding you and you-
“One more, my girl. One more. Gotta make sure it takes.”
Raw, absolutely feral empty promises ring in your ears as he keeps moving inside you. Sensitively twitching cock dragging so maddeningly against your walls. Letting out raspy whimpers with each thrust, now nothing more than shallow, mindless movements fueled by pure animalistic need.
Fuck, ah, you were gonna fucking pass out.
“Hah- Baby, I can’t- oh-”
“You will.”
You squeal as your thighs clench around him, clit pulsing in pain and pleasure as he reaches down to start his rough abuse on it again. A final thrust. Only one press on your clit. Hard.
Your orgasm - if you can even call it that, nothing more than a distinct spike of pleasure - hits you with a jolt. Moaning and bowing into his weeping cock as you ride your highs out together. His poor, abused cock coating your walls white once more in thin, hot spurts. It overflows inside of you, cunt dripping and too full to take any more.
Maybe you black out, you don’t even know. Only brought back by the tear that hits your cheek with a wet splash! - blinking away the haze in your eyes to look up at your overstimulated boyfriend. His throbbing cock now shooting blanks inside of you.
Breaths ragged, blood roaring in your ears, you feel a sudden emptiness as he pulls out. A disappointed whine leaving you despite your state. Cum gushing out of you, forming a pool on the already-soaked bedsheets. Warm and so fucking sinful.
Pulling back to admire the view, his eyes widen, jaw dropping slightly at the heavenly sight. Greedy eyes locked on you and your pussy and you - blood rushing straight to his twitching cock. Reproachfully, you look up to meet his eyes, pupils blown and half-lidded, an insane glint in them that jolts you to your very core - and your abused cunt.
One thing was sure.
There’s no turning back.
- GOJO, CHOSO, Nanami, OIKAWA, Suna, KUROO, ATSUMU, EREN

A/N. Goals amirite?
Plagiarism not authorized.
#jjk x reader#jjk smut#aot x reader#aot smut#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu smut#gojo x reader#gojo smut#choso x reader#choso smut#nanami x reader#nanami smut#oikawa x reader#kuroo x reader#suna x reader#atsumu x reader#eren x reader#suna smut#kuroo smut#tonywrites
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Friends with Benefits with Love and Deepspace Men
Pairing: Zayne, Rafayel, Xavier, Sylus, Caleb x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, creampie, friends with benefits, protectiveness, love confession, fingering, realization of feelings, denaial of feelings, mating press, desk sex, jealusy, flirting, referanced cunnilingus
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters | Commissions
A/N: I would legit want to be their friends. The benefit is heaing me yap about how pretty they all are and whatever my newest hyperfixation is.
FwB!Zayne always tries to keep things strictly professional between the two of you. There's him when he is your friend and colleague and him when he's making love to you on the surface of his desk. It's easy for him to cross between the lines, one moment he's giving you advice or talking about problem he has and the next he has his hand down your underwear and the other over your mouth, keeping you quiet. He's actually very good at going between the two modes and will never cross a line without your permission. Any feelings he might develop he will only show when he's being your lover, not when he's your friend.
FwB!Rafayel hides behind the flirting he does to make you believe he's not as serious as he is. There will always be a time for him to be your friend and listen to any problems you make have, go on movie dates with you, take you shopping and order your favorite food when you're sad. And then there is the time when he offers to take your mind off whatever is bothering you by holding you close while you ride his cock and breathe heavily against his neck. Occasionally you have said you loved each other, and both of you know it's true, but you want to take a bit more before your relationship takes that next step.
FwB!Xavier gets too into his own head about the whole deal because how is supposed to act that he wasn't balls deep in you the night before when you walk funny in front of him. Downright impossible for him to ignore the signs you give him. And he really does try his best but he doesn't want to make it seem like he only wants you for sex so he ends up texting you a lot while you're apart. Which only confuses things more. Truly he wishes there was an easy way for him to deal with this. Perhaps the best thing is for him to confess that he wants to be your boyfriend, not just the guy who makes you come and then never talks about it again until the next time.
FwB!Sylus teases you so much that you have no idea when he wants to be your friend and when he wants to fuck. There have been times where he deliberately made you think one thing only to do the other. Mindgames like these are fun for him, and watching you get all out of sorts because of it is even better. For as many times as he's fucked you into the bed he was also the one to comfort you when you were full of doubts and wanted nothing in return. Part of him hates that you still see him as a friend after all of that but he also won't force you to see him as anything else. Besides it's only a matter of time before you do.
FwB!Caleb is too jealous to stay just friends after the very first night you spend together. Stares at other guys that flirt with you so much a few of them actually took off running in the opposite direction. He didn't spend the whole night eating you out until you could no longer scream his name just for some other guy to swoop in and take you home. Try as he might to hide his jealous side it's very much impossible, his smile gets sour and tight every time you tell him a guy flirted with you. A man like him can only tolerate so much before he confesses to you while fucking you. Not even romantically, he growls it out while having you folded in half and just as he fills you up with cum.
#love and deepspace x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#xavier x reader#sylus x reader#caleb x reader#love and deepspace imagines#zayne imagines#rafayel imagines#xavier imagines#sylus imagine#caleb imagine#love and deepspace headcanons#zayne headcanons#rafayel headcanons#xavier headcanons#sylus headcanon#caleb headcanons#love and deepspace smut#zayne smut#rafayel smut#xavier smut#sylus smut#caleb smut#lads x reader#lads imagine#lads headcanons#lads fluff#x female reader
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💭.
#getting deja vu from the last time i researched pedestal fans 🥴#i remember now i didnt buy one bc its impossible to make a decision ?#EVERYTHING has mixed reviews#some reviews are legit and others are just boohoo its confusing#or its just $80#might just stick with this billion year old was white but turned yellow fan at least i know it works
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I know some people on here tend to think of this as a gimmick blog so forget that I'm like, a person but I don't think some of y'all know how much it means to me to be able to teach literally anyone anything.
I'm a severely disabled person (part of why it takes me Forever to answer asks sometimes lol), I can't work and I can't finish college.
Being a legit teacher has been my dream since I was SO little and while I've gotten to teach more than a couple times, my disabilities eventually made anything like that completely impossible. Which was CRUSHING for me.
This blog was literally just a desperate last-ditch effort for me to keep up my interest in my studies and stay away from deathly depression.
To have people asking me questions so I can ramble or thanking me and saying they've learned ANYTHING AT ALL from me isn't even something I've wished for since my illness' got worse because it seemed so impossible.
(That's the biggest reason I save every ask like that instead of replying. Asks thanking me or chattering about what you've learned from me are such a treasure to me, I can't bear to post them and maybe lose them.)
I cannot express how much I appreciate y'all but thanks, fr. Much love to you all. 💕
#sex education#asks#lemme be sappy for a second#it won't last long (bc im a bitch)#but i wanted to say it anyway <3
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I’m writing a SuperBats fic based on the realization that Superman/Clark should have a southern accent. Boy is a Kansas Farmboy! Him not having a southern accent is damn near impossible! I’m from a city that’s predominantly California speech due to the population, yet I have a thick Oakey accent because I grew up with a grandpa from Oklahoma. If I have an accent because I grew up with it then a boy from KANSAS should also have one! Now he could hide it as Supes bc having an accent like that would clock a few raised eyebrows. But Clark? Clark is KNOWN as a sweet southern boy. The whole world knows his Mama and Papa are from Kansas and that Smallville is a predominately farm county.
The fic plot is legit just Clark being a lil tired and slipping up around Bruce while in the batcave. Bruce is THRILLED! Then, oh god, then he goes to the Kent farm and bro breaks. Because not only does Ma Kent refuse to let Clark mask his real accent. But she also makes use of her supersons abilities around the farm.
Clark in flannel lugging around heavy broken equipment and whatnot while talking in a heavy twang just kinda kills Brucie.
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You knooooowwww... >.>
The only difference, technically, between a school in the Zone? And on Earth? Is the American government won't recognize your Zone diploma...
Not accredited. But like..... I'm JUST SAYING? If you didn't try to pass your school off as some Big Ivy League type? Pulled the "oh yeah, you'd never have heard of it, it's local." And the COMPUTERS say it's legit?
How many people will dig deeper?
If you legitimately have the knowledge, you legitimately have the knowledge. Not YOUR fault you left out the whole "extra-dimensional" part. It makes folk nervous! And nervous folks get stabby.
So like? If you were ALREADY planning to "Move" as you euphemistically put it? Talked it over with your VERY concerned folks and friends? Who do NOT like the look of the steady but concerning rise of Anti-Ghost Powers That Be? Who finally put their foot down and reminded you that you are a TEENAGER and it's NOT your responsibility to fix the world?
Well...
Fuck those guys, I guess. You'll miss the old house, but Team "Taking our ball and going literally anywhere else" makes some good points. Why ARE you putting up with this?
And honestly, you've never SEEN your dad have so much fun. Him and the Reality Realtor just sorta... Vibe. Himbo to Himbo communications. Smatters of advanced physics. Fudge. It's great.
They move the portal. Collapse the old one in a way that makes it impossible to recover or recreate. You... kinda don't want to ask. They had that "mad scientist glint" in their eyes.
And while everyone's checking out brochures to different realities? You? Head off to the nearest College. It's the Zone, so technically you could go to any of endless billions. But you'd like your education some time this century.
Cue! Danny Fenton! Entering?
Academia's wet dream. A sprawling CITY of a college. Where the classes are on EVERYTHING and the price is FREE. People have Obsessions okay?? They NEED to teach. Debate and discuss! Study! Right papers and read them! It's been going on a while! And what happens when you find a subject that's NOT covered?
YOU COVER IT!
It's like if New York was a College. Good fucking luck find the dorms. Sleep on the floor like the rest of us, you casual.
Danny was Not Prepared ™.
He loves it though.
Classes on aeronautics next making the perfect sandwich, shoved next to historical basketry, stacked above alien slam poetry. But only on Tuesdays! Ever shifting. Breaking his Fenton Born Adhd in to a fine PASTE to be smeared upon bread. Happy mental stimulation chemicals go Brrrrrrrr
If it wasn't wildly inappropriate, he would LICK IT to claim it as his then wrap around it and gaurd like a territorial cat. He thought he HATED school! Turns out he just hated high-school. College though? College, or at least ZONE College, is fuckin AWESOME.
He's sit in SO MANY random classes just cause.
Picked up and dropped them at a whim. When they no longer sparked joy. He's been a flighty bitch and for once? No one CARES. No one says "you HAVE to commit and stick with this FOREVER once you choose this" and? It just? It's so FREEING! He's learned so MUCH!
He's probably gonna come back!
Which? Is how a deeply, DEEPLY weird aerospace engineer from supposedly bumfuck NOWHERE, end up working at Wayne Industries. He's.... a lil crazy behind the eyes. Ha ha... CONCERNING ™!
Dude sleeps on the lab floor. Has weirdly spotty knowledge. Can be an unprecedented genius one second and not know who the current president is the next. Doesn't know what DAY it is. Forgets to eat. Tried to make a fusion reactor out of the break room toaster before Sandra from accounting distracted him with pictures of her cat.
It's like he wanders through life blissfully unaware that he is both terrifying and about three seconds from killing them all. Then FUCKING TRIPS because he forgot to tie his shoelaces again.
Who hired this man?
WHY!?
I mean, we KNOW why. Probably to put him on a watch list. But? He's like a terrifying murder puppy! Built like a tank! That's stoned out of its mind half the time. And have you HEARD his college stories? That CAN'T be legal. Was this guy raised in a cult!? Aaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!????
@hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @babbling-babull @dcxdpdabbles @hypewinter
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Text
Our Soul
Agatha Harkness x Reader
Word Count: 2.3k
Notes: Requested, soulmate au, mostly fluff, like the smallest dash angst maybe
Summary: When searching for coven members, Agatha finds her soulmate. Her nerves about the woman being involved only grow when The Witches' Road turns out to be legit.
An: Sorry the request took so long, I did simplify it a bit I hope that it's still enjoyable.
Masterlist
Agatha made a mistake. The moment she had looked into Y/n’s eyes, she was sure of it. She’d always thought finding her soulmate would be this horrific thing. That the description of having your soul intertwined with someone else's sounded painfully, boring, and wasteful. Yet she had it all wrong.
It was the soft pull of a flower to a summer breeze. It was as if something warm finally reached her freezing soul. The souls were translucent with glowing specs shinning inside. Agatha’s, dark purple like her magic; Y/n's, golden like the tint of her irises sparkling in the sun. They twirled up together, two halves becoming one whole. Then they lay flat, into a singular form.
She visualized it, beautiful, all encompassing, and complete. However she was still horrified in some ways. She glanced at the paper with Y/n’s name scrawled across it and then back at her. It was too late to take back the offer. The way that Y/n's eyes lit up at the mention of the road was impossible to miss.
She’d have to do something about it. There was no way she was going to let her end up like the rest of the people on the list. Y/n dying was nowhere in Agatha’s plans.
Y/n made a mistake. She was sure of it when Agatha’s hand pulled her down on to the road. The way her mind had called Agatha’s hand a perfect fit for her’s. The entire reason she had agreed to come in the first place was now jeopardized. All because of Agatha’s illustrious blue eyes, her cunning smile, and the warm softness of her hand in yours.
She was here to find her soulmate. That’s all she wanted from the road. Yet here she is swooning over Agatha Harkness, known most for her treachery. It felt like she was failing her one true love.
When Agatha stops abruptly at the last step, Y/n crashes into her. Agatha is quick to tug at her wrist, pulling the gorl back into her, rather than tumbling backwards.
“Are you alright sweetheart?”
Y/n watches Agatha’s eyes scan over her, worry easily perceived. The younger woman respond with a loose nod. She was being pulled in by the current of Agatha’s crystal-esque eyes.
“Yeah,” is all she can manage to say.
She smiles slyly knowing she had Y/n flustered. Agatha doesn’t let go of her, the older witch’s pull persisting. The older woman doesn’t trust this road. She knows it isn’t real, that this shouldn’t be happening. Whatever this is, she wouldn’t let it claim you.
While she takes charge of the others, Agatha never strays far from her soulmate. She felt like she had to protect Y/n. After the road’s first test Agatha knew she was right. Mrs. Hart was dead, and everyone was shaken up about it. Especially Y/n.
As everyone walks away from her body, Agatha falls in step with Y/n.
“How are you holding up?”
Y/n’s gaze stays on the ground she shake her head slightly, as if she expects a thought to fall out, “I don’t know.”
“Is this your first time dealing with that kind of thing?”
Y/n tilts her head, “Agatha we’re hundreds of years old. I’m no stranger to death or dead bodies. It’s just… been a long time.”
“Right.”
“Why’d you bring her?” Y/n couldn’t help but ask.
Agatha fumbles for an answer. The truth being that she didn't think things would go this far. This was supposed to end in the basement. She would’ve stolen everyone’s powers then manipulated Mrs. Hart’s memories and she would be none the wiser. She was intended to be a placeholder not a carcass.
Y/n watches Agatha carefully wondering what kind of lie she would tell, how the woman would spin the story. Instead she sees a small dip in the character Agatha was always playing.
“I didn't think she'd get hurt,” it’s a small, but honest truth.
Agatha was scared of the woman’s response. Perhaps Y/n would call bullshit and turn on her. Everyone was always so quick to point a finger at her. She had been taking the blame since she was a child all that time ago. So it would be nothing new to her.
“I believe you.”
Y/n doesn't know why she said it. She didn't plan on responding, but something inside of her was begging her to speak. It was another flaw in her eyes, wanting to bring comfort to Agatha. The woman that was distracting her from her soulmate.
Agatha is fighting the urge to question why Y/n believes her. She didn't deserve the girl's trust. She’s starting to believe she didn't deserve Y/n. Yet that didn't necessarily matter anymore, their souls were already intertwined.
“We should try summoning another green witch,” Y/n suggests.
It causes a bit of commotion in the group, but with no choice left, they try it.
“M’lady.”
When Rio Vidal comes crawling out of the ground Agatha lunges at her. The rest of the group is stunned by their clearly complex past. Agatha’s not the only one who reacts to The Green Witch.
Y/n’s eyes widen, “Oh no.”
When Rio sees Y/n she turns away from Agatha. She stalks towards the woman, cautiously taking Y/n’s hand in her. With a charming smile she presses her lips to the backside of the younger witch’s hand.
“Mi vida.”
Agatha watches with her jaw nearly on the floor. The blush on Y/n’s face told her everything she needed to know.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
Rio drops Y/n’s hand, “What? I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd come by, help out.”
“So are you a green witch?”
Before Rio responds Y/n cuts her off, “As green as it gets, let’s keep moving.”
“I like that idea,” Agatha seconds that and begins to walk off, Y/n trails behind her.
The rest of the coven eventually joins.
“So... you know Rio too?”
Agatha keeps her gaze straight ahead, “Yup.”
Y/n let’s out an amused huff of air, “Seems like we know her in the same way too.”
“It does look that way. I gotta say, I would've never guessed she was your type.”
“At one point in time I thought she was my soulmate. You have to admit under all that cunning is someone so tragically lonely, but eternally beautiful. I always doubted that love would exist without fear of her."
Agatha knew what the girl really meant when she said ‘her'. Death had an air of beauty about her not only in appearance.
“Rio is everything you said, but you forgot to add irritating,” Agatha adds.
Y/n laughs at her, “Always showing up at the most convenient times for herself. Which just so happens to be inconvenient to everyone else.”
“I can't believe you thought she was your soulmate.”
Y/n looks away bashfully, “Well you must’ve too all things considered.”
Agatha disputes the statement instantly, “I never really bought into the whole soulmate thing.” She takes a moment to look into Y/n’s eyes, “At least not until recently.”
“Why not?”
“Agatha didn't believe in any of those kind of happy ending fairytale like romances sweetheart, just not in her character,” Rio steps in between the pair to get in on their conversation.
“Something to do with you maybe?” Y/n shots at Rio.
Rio gasps in faux-shock, “No, I’m the perfect wife. Right, my love?”
Agatha rolls her eyes, “Ex-wife, current thorn in my side.”
“Aww she’s so grumpy without her magic, Y/n. She’s usually a much more cheerful spirit.”
“Fuck off,” Agatha starts walking faster.
She reaches over Rio, to grab Y/n’s wrist pulling her along in a similar way she did down the road in the first place.
Whatever conversation that was going to play out died upon seeing another trial. By the look on the witch‘s face it was obviously Alice’s. The outfits, the rock band, the grunge of it all was a bit fun at first. Yet the fun never lasts in these things, especially when threatened by a generational curse.
The ballad was once again the key to the trial. Almost reminiscent of your way onto the road, singing the ballad helped Alice defeat her curse. However it was not without a cost, as Teen had some how gotten injured.
The responsibility fell on a group. A second trial and second death was looming over the group. The care and distress in Agatha’s movement was stark contrast to what had happened when Mrs. Hart died.
Y/n couldn’t help it as she silently asked Rio if it was the boy’s time. Lady Death stood silent, pensive, as if she herself was gauging the situation. Then she shook her head.
It was during this time that his wound was healed. Though he lay unconscious, it was general consensus that he'd be alright. While this placated the others, Agatha was not leaving his side.
The rest of the coven went to set up camp for the night. Y/n knew she wasn’t obligated to stay with Agatha and Teen, but she wanted to.
Whatever Agatha was feeling, for once it was plain on her face. The moment was fragile, something Y/n was mindful of as she sat quietly next to Agatha.
“Have you ever lost something so pivotal to your existence that without it, you no longer feel whole?”
“My brother,” Y/n’s gaze lingers on Billy.
“Do you… have you seen him in other people?”
Y/n nods, “Sometimes I can’t help it. I see someone that looks like him or likes the things he likes or acts like him, but they’re not him.”
Agatha turns her attention to Y/n. The far away look in her eye makes the older witch move close to her.
“What happened to him?”
Y/n’s bottom lips curls up into her mouth, “I happened.”
Agatha’s hand finds it’s way on top of Y/n’s. The younger witch intertwines their fingers. Y/n lets out a large breath, trying to center herself.
“My son,” Agatha whispers. “I see Teen and I see the kind of boy that mine could’ve grown to be .”
“Agatha,” Y/n says her voice softly.
Agatha clears her throat, “Let’s go see what kind of camp they’ve set up.”
She stands abruptly, but makes sure to extend her hand to the other woman. Y/n takes the help to stand. Agatha is reluctant to drop the girl’s hand, but she does. That doesn’t keep the woman away from her. Y/n walks close enough that their arms brush as they walk to camp.
When both sit, the other’s are full of laughter, reminiscing about their battle scars. Agatha shows off her's and the rest give her a roar of laughter that she didn’t expect.
The laughter dies down as Rio talks about having a scar. Something that both Agatha and Y/n know to be false. The younger of the pair can’t help, but glare as Rio spins a tale of a woman. Someone that Y/n knows to be Agatha.
A trick to rile the woman up. It works as Agatha storms off. Rio tries to go after her.
“I think you’ve done enough,” Y/n stands to stop her.
Rio raises her hands in defensive before gesturing them in the direction Agatha ran off in, “By all means then, you go after her. Just remember at the end of the road, your soulmate will be waiting for you.”
“Fuck you Rio,” Y/n goes after Agatha.
She finds Agatha just standing in a field. Y/n approaches her, moving to stand in front of Agatha. The powerless witch doesn’t look at her.
Y/n takes Agatha’s face in both of her hands. Agatha’s expression has a million facets to it. Sorrow, regret, anger, but most prevalently Y/n sees a plea.
“Death has a nasty way of lingering doesn't she?”
A single tears slides down Agatha’s cheek. Y/n wipes it away with her thumb.
Her laughter is shaky, “You didn't have to come after me.”
“Agatha, I wanted to be here,” Y/n reassure her.
“I don’t deserve you,” she leans into Y/n’s touch.
It’s like Y/n’s says it to herself when she speaks, “ I decide what I deserve.”
Agatha’s crystal blue eyes meet Y/n’s, “And what about your soulmate?”
“This isn’t about that.”
Agatha’s holds Y/n’s in place against her face, “What if it is?”
Y/n’s eyebrows furrow, “What are you saying?”
Agatha steps out of the woman’s hold. Her hands move wildly as she talks, “Don’t you feel it? When we locked eyes, I saw our souls mixing. I know that you're too good for me. I’m this no good evil hag, with a reputation that makes dictators seem like saints. I don’t deserve to have a soulmate, especially one as good as you.”
When Y/n looks into Agatha’s eyes she feels it. She sees what Agatha saw when they first met. Their souls coming together, in what is certainly the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.
Tears form in Y/n’s eyes. She strides over to Agatha, again cupping the woman’s face in her hands. Y/n smiles through her tears.
“I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.”
A smile fights it's way onto Agatha face, “Didn’t you hear what I just said?”
“Agatha I’ve dated the physical embodiment of death. I don't care,” Y/n tucks a piece of Agatha’s hair behind her ear.
“I’m no good-”
Whatever Agatha had planned on saying didn’t matter to Y/n. The younger girl plants her lips on Agatha’s firmly. The older woman melts into the kiss the words dying on her lips.
“You’re good to me,” Y/n breathes out as the kiss ends.
Agatha hugs Y/n’s waist, keeping her close. Their foreheads rests against each other. The brunette’s eyes slowly open. There’s fire behind the blue orbs
“I will be, I promise.”
The road wasn’t finished and Agatha had yet to regain her power. However, she already felt more complete with Y/n in her arms. A part of her restored upon connecting with her soulmate.
#lowkeyerror#agatha harkness#agatha x reader#agatha harkness x reader#agatha harkness#agatha harkness imagine#rio vidal#billy maximoff#agatha all along
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