#honestly im better than him and am going to do so much greater things than he ever did so im just gonna ignore him

[loser-jpg]

hate teacher.

so angry.

he told me my 6 months worth of work has to be scrapped and entirely redone in 2 weeks. thats literally impossible. i am the tiniest inconvenience away from having an entire meeting with him to read him a 5 page essay on how he has been of no help this entire semester and last and how he has done nothing but inconvenience me all year.

hes seen the work many times before but only brought up the issue now. 2 weeks before a progress report. He told me the thing hes been having me work on for an entire month cant be part of my progress report because its not specific enough.

IF THIS WAS GOING TO BE A PROBLEM HE WOULD HAVE ALREADY KNOWN AND HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE I WAS 6 MONTHS IN.

he blatantly holds favoritism as every other student (they all happen to be cis men) get all the help in the world yet i get no help at all and when he tells me i have to scrap all my work he doesnt even point me in the right direction just says redo it you have 2 weeks.

this is a group project but every other group is doing one project with all people working together yet mine is doing one project each person meaning i cant even get assistance. two of the people in my group HAVE NOT SPOKEN A WORD TO ME SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR.

he is also needlessly rude. instead of just politely saying there might be an issue he feels the need to make me feel like an idiot for not realizing it sooner. I am half convinced this man finds joy in publicly humiliating and shaming me in any way possible. You are a grown ass man what the actual fuck. You are in your god damn 50s.

[biscuitboba]

Not to be crazy about luffy (and zoro) again, but i actually can't stop thinking about luffy and the way he values the people that he holds dear? I think that the more luffy loves someone, the greater the support and respect he will give to the person's ambition.

Remember how a person's dream or ambition is a very integral part of one piece? Thinking about how luffy is probably the person who respects zoro's dream the most (and ofc vice versa cuz THRILLER BARK!) And i just can't-

With luffy we all know that he doesn't really mind dying if it means he's in the process of fighting for his dream, so with the whole zoro vs mihawk fight, luffy of course can only support (from afar) and watch his first mate fight the fearsome warlord.

No matter how much he worries for zoro's life, he just can't get in the way of zoro's dream. He knows that better than anyone not to get in the way of someone else's dream. And their deal (back in shells town) only strengthens luffy's resolve to let zoro face mihawk and not get in his way.

Luffy's concern for zoro is very palpable, but despite this, he stops johnny and yosaku from interfering, making sure that no one gets in the way of zoro's fight. That just proves how much luffy respects his first mate's dream. Like you can see that he is cleary frustrated, clenching his jaw, he is doing everything in his power not to approach his first mate and interfere. But after mihawk slashed his first mate, luffy literally lost it, and well... we all know the rest (he had to intervene)

Im sorry but god, zoro vows to never lose again, him pointing at the sky with his sword as he shouts his words... and of course the iconic moment where for the first time someone calls luffy by his future title, im not normal about it

Also mihawk acknowledging luffy and zoro's compatibility right away will always gets me, cuz honestly dracule mihawk, how???

Real talk, but what i love about zoro and luffy's relationship is how they acknowledge each other's strength. They always say things like "he is strong, he got this", "there's no way he is going to lose", "he will be fine", "it's him, no need to worry", et cetera... Like they have so much trust in each other's strength, that oftentimes they don't even feel the need to worry about the other person, because they are confident with each other's abilities.

But on the other side, sometimes (by sometimes i actually mean quite a lot) they can't help but to feel worried for each other. Especially when the other person gets hurt or attacked right in front of one of them. The worry intensifies when one of them faces a tough opponent or acts rather recklessly. And i think about that a lot.

Ok so, returning to the discussion in my first paragraph, about how luffy will always respect the ambition/dream of his loved ones. Especially if the person is strong, he will really respect that person's strength. A very clear example for this one is after leaving thriller bark and finding out something is wrong with ace's vivre card. The crew asks luffy about whether he wants to go after his brother or not, luffy replies:

Like we all know about how much luffy likes to brag about his brother's strength and also how much he loves ace. But exactly because of that.. luffy chose not to go after his brother at that time.

Now, not to make everything about zolu (who am i kidding? I actually will always make everything about zolu), but thinking about the way luffy put his trust in zoro to fight for his own dream in baratie, and the way luffy feels confident enough to fall asleep for a minute during the fight with big mama and kaido... because he trusts that his powerful first mate will be able to take care of himself, but more importantly, luffy trusts his first mate to keep him safe from danger. In this not essay i will-

[tumbleinthenet]

SamFrazie with 6, 8 and/or 21?

i'm so sorry... you're going to get so many headcanons spewed at you and almost none of them are going to make sense. take this all in assuming that sam: 1. is blastokinetic and 2. killed her father on accident as a child, thus thoroughly destroying her already tense relationship with her mother and probably seeing her very rarely from that point on.

6.) What about their environment influences them?

they're short of options for other people to talk to, honestly. they're very similar kinds of girls, brought up in homes that were never normal, even if the aquatos were happier than the booles in myself and my friend's shared headcanons. frazie grew up molded by the experience of being an eldest sister and so did sam. they have to protect their siblings from the bullshit their parents put them through (though i think sam does a better job of that). i don't think frazie is the oldest technically, i do think she's dions younger twin, but being the eldest sister is still a very unique experience.

they're very abrasive in very specific ways (a little violent, a little unhinged). they don't have much experience with other people their age. they're just going to kind of drift together no matter what. (sorry if this answer makes no sense for this question, its 2 am and im having trouble parsing it so i just threw in every kind of answer i thought made sense)

8.) Is there a third party involved that influences them in anyway?

in most cases, it's probably their brothers that push things forward. raz and dogen being friends would be a good enough push for sam to check out raz's other siblings, and frazie knows sam was the least fucked up to raz when it came to everything so she doesn't dislike her as much as she initially does the other interns.

in some cases, norma is the linchpin. i just don't super ship her with frazie which has led to me putting her into kind of an antagonistic role sometimes? frazie battles her sexuality long enough to confess to norma, they don't have a very fulfilling relationship (norma's bound to other things. she likes frazie well enough but she's probably a little nervous about her own sexuality along with familial pressure and the image of herself she likes to put out into the world. a partner, especially one as reckless and wild as frazie, just doesn't work for her. she gets colder and colder and eventually turns away from her completely.), sam picks her up when she gets dropped and becomes the surprise rebound. they bounce off each other better than expected.

there's also donatella? i don't think she has any specific role in things, but my view of her is as a woman who does not hold any particular liking for her daughters. i love dona. i think she's great. i also think she's a boy mom, and her only involvement with her girls is to teach them how to be proper women. i don't think frazie's into that. i think she worries a lot about how her mom thinks of her. tala's the little primadonna to be; it was never going to be her.

she feels a lot like she's worth nothing in the family dynamic (she has nothing that's her own as compared to her siblings, she has nowhere to go and nothing to be without the circus) and i think dona influenced a lot of that thinking just for bringing up the boys to a different standard. i think she's very much a papa's girl but he fucked her up too, in different but very noticeable ways 😭

21.) How much of the issues are external vs internal?

for them, it's probably more internal. i think of frazie as having a really hard time coming out, and struggling with being a lesbian not because she hates herself for being one or hates the idea, but because she worries a lot about how she'll be seen by her family and by the greater public. it takes a long time for her to get to the idea of being in a relationship, and once she's in one, she's pretty private about it with everyone except dion, when they're getting along well enough for him to listen.

sam talks about it pretty much openly, though it only comes up on occasion. the external bits of this are that frazie has a hard time with pda and it does Not Feel Good for sam, as well that she just really struggles with knowing when is too far. frazie is used to talking with her siblings, she knows what they can take both physically and mentally, and even then she sometimes hurts their feelings. she probably hits the wrong button with sam a few times and doesn't know how to apologize, even if it's kind of hard to tell when sam's feeling hurt at all.

sam, imo, has kind of a fear of intimacy but is trying? she nuked her home life pretty hard and doesn't know how to come back from that. she puts people at lengths. they both don't really know how to navigate a relationship but it's super frustrating to her that frazie doesn't even seem to be trying to get over her own hurdles.

just as well, they really don't know how to communicate. it's probably their first relationship ever in any world where norma isn't a part of the situation, and they don't have many close relationships with people outside of that. plus, they're teenage girls. they're still figuring themselves out. being psychic doesn't help everything. they have to figure out how to talk to each other.

[supernatural-bias]

hello. i am curious about Ezra,,, im splitting these into different asks to maybe make it less overwhelming...

What is their favorite kind of social event?

Are they upfront about their feelings?

Who are they most honest with?

Is there a habit they have that they learned from someone else?

What would it take for them to get into a fight?

Have they had a meaningful encounter with an animal?

Is there an activity they used to enjoy that they now dislike?

What is a topic they would be excited to talk about? 

wow!! lots of questions! i'll do my best to answer them all tonight with as much energy as i can, but we'll see. grins

what is their favorite kind of social event?

movie nights honestly. ezra doesn't really look forward to normal social events, and he hardly gets to experience them anyways being a hunter and all. but movie nights, especially once everyone settles down in the bunker, is always his favorite way to spend the night with all the people he loves, even if it means fighting over what movie to watch. save him a seat between cas and dean

are they upfront about their feelings?

more than dean, and sometimes even sam, but that's not saying much. all three of them are some sort of emotionally incompetent. for a while, mainly the first few seasons, ezras whole shtick was being secretive (literally no one knew he was a ghost for most of season three), but later on, once he's spent years upon years with the winchesters and their acquaintances, he definitely gets better at expressing his thoughts outloud

who are they most honest with?

i'd be lying if i said dean and sam. the three of them lie to each other all the damn time for "the greater good" or to "protect each other," and then get mad when they find out everyone else has been doing the same thing. hypocrites. ezras probably the most honest with cas, and then most definitely jack in the last few seasons

is there a habit they have that they learned from someone else?

i think i've mentioned this in one of my song analysis posts before, but ezra chants stuff under his breath a lot to remember things, and he sort of picked that up from other hunters when he first started out in the hunting scene

what would it take for them to get into a fight?

easiest way is to try and snatch his beanie off his head or to attack him first. second easiest way to trigger a fight response is to attack his friends/allies

have they ever had a meaningful encounter with an animal?

you know, i don't think so. but i am doing my rewatch right now, which means i'm rewriting and adding a lot of ezra lore as i go, so maybe that could change

is there an activity they used to enjoy that they dislike now?

dreaming. having dreams when be was young was always great. but now, as he grows older and more and more shit happens, ezra finds that most of his dreams are nightmares. don't get me wrong, he still loves to sleep, but prefers if it's dreamless

is there a topic they would be excited to talk about?

the obvious answer here is the xmen. that's his special interest, baby. other than that, maybe the music he likes? there isn't much else he's been steadily passionate about throughout the years. it's sad, but after he died for the first time and got caught up in everything with the winchesters and heaven and blah blah blah, he sort of lost time to do anything he loved

[spacedlexi]

hbo tlou spoilers (and the game too) just rambling to myself bc i gotta get these thoughts out of my head

feeling.. conflicted about that episode still. wasnt gonna say anything but im a little bit nervous about how joel and ellie are being handled at this point just like overall

ellie to a lesser extent i just feel like shes a little.. one note almost (they gave her the joke book and she had some nice moments with sam at least). theyre just playing so hard into the spitfire side of her but game ellie was way sweeter and kinder than i think people remember? when i started my re-playthrough even i forgot how like.. chill she was honestly. a lot of her anger was reactionary/in defense and not always just immediately antagonistic. hbo ellie needs more softness to her its starting to annoy me a bit how just outright hostile she is to literally everyone

but in joels case.. the changes they made this episode honestly i feel were detrimental to his character development. they make it seem like joel asking tommy to take ellie is more about the fact that hes aging and hes afraid hes going to get ellie killed, so he needs tommy to take her because he has a greater chance of making it back. and they side step a bit the selfishness of joels request. when in the game it was SOLEY about joels selfishness and how he could tell he was starting to feel protective of/close to ellie and wanted to stop that shit immediately by passing her off to tommy so he could just wash his hands of the whole thing (which would also put tommy at risk and maria chews him out for it (which i wouldve liked to have seen in the show but alas...)). and the argument he and ellie get into (after she runs away!!) is supposed to be the culmination of those feelings and how hes pushing her away and hes afraid of being a dad again (im NOT your dad. and we are going our separate ways). but ultimately chooses to stay with ellie and that choice is SO IMPORTANT!! and now in the show its like... ok so... now youre Not afraid of.. getting her killed? because you STILL have a bad ear and ptsd? (that he wouldve had for a while anyway so honestly its a little funny theyre playing it up so hard all of a sudden him clutching at his chest all the time is just kinda funny to me again where is the subtlety i dont see it). and like with this change it makes their argument (and their reconciliation) less powerful honestly to me at least. that argument they have is seared into my brain its still one of my favorite scenes but i just wasnt feeling it as much with this different set up of events (and also imo the game still has the better actor performances PLEASE watch those scenes if you havent)

and this side stepping of joels selfishness as a character is honestly a problem for me. and im afraid what it might mean for future episodes. because joels selfishness is very integral to his character. knowing what i do about whats coming down the line, and how theyve been talking about the “cure” so far, im so 😬 just clenching my teeth so hard. because they just... keep saying every once in a while that “there can never be a cure making a cure would be hard how would you even manufacture and distribute it?” (squinting REAL HARD AT THAT LAST ONE!!) and im soooo nervous that they might downplay just how much of a selfish asshole joel is and how they might try to make his future actions less terrible.... or justify them in some way..... or something equivalent to downplaying what happens..... 

i mentioned it a while ago but these are arguments the fans have been having since summer 2013 but what annoys me about it is that none of it even matters!!! because the Only thing that matters is joels selfish choice. not whether hes right or wrong. the ambiguity is the whole point!! the selfishness is the whole point!! joel doesnt care and hes gonna do whatever he thinks is necessary regardless of the repercussions. and i am just so afraid theyre gonna undercut that. I HOPE THEY DONT IM CROSSING MY FINGERS SO HARD THAT THEY DONT WE CAN CELEBRATE IF THEY DONT but sometimes people are afraid to let their characters be shitty and have flaws and act selfishly and joel is a bit of a controversial character already. i hope they dont try to make him/his actions more “acceptable” somehow. i LIKE that hes like this it makes him INTERESTING

but yeah the rest of the episode was fine i guess. loved seeing jackson. oh but i will say that the end of the episode felt so uneventful to me which is hilarious based off of what happens, but the way things play out in the game is SO TENSE and drawn out that in comparison was just really weak in the show unfortunately. im sure it was a “for time” reason and like it still gets the idea across but again just more reason for me to stand by the game still being The True Last of Us Experience. looking forward to the left behind episode tho i am so excited to see my girl riley again 💔

[surferblues]

could you do an elvis!austin butler one with the “i've seen the way you look at her, if she is the one, then leave. be with your true soulmate” prompt and could the ‘she’ be like one of elvis’ costars or a girl he’s been around, it doesn’t matter though!

blindsided | a.b

pairing austin butler x fem!reader

warnings suitable for under 18, angst, mentions of cheating, cheater! austin, and breaking up.

“Why are you lying to me when the proof is right here?” You shouted, anger and disbelief clear in your voice. You were furious, which was something that wasn’t uncommon in your house.

“I wasn’t out anywhere with her.” Austin defended himself, hot on your heels as you walked towards your shared bedroom. You had to admit, he was a convincing liar, but that didn’t change anything. “You’re crazy, honestly, Olivia is just a friend!"

“There’s videos of you and her on a date!” Your voice cracked. You were fighting everything in you not to cry. You knew every time you cried he won.

"oh, ok, it's a crime to hang out with a friend now, right!” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

you began walking towards your closet, empty suitcase dragging against in your other hand. "where are you going?" he followed after you, scoffing in disbelief as you roughly opened the closet doors.

"nowhere." you murmured calmly. your hands didn't grab anything of yours, instead you reached for his clothes. "im going nowhere." you spoke in-between breaths.

"this is the reason why Olivia is so much better than you, at least she respects my personal space!" Austin's hand slapping the door. he said his cold words full of anger, not even realizing what he said himself.

but you swear, you felt your heart stop as he said those words. you had always had suspicions that Austin and Olivia had a greater bond than you and he could ever have.

but you thought you were going crazy, hallucinating.

turns out you were nothing but sane.

"wait, baby, i didn't -" he tried to excuse himself, as he saw your flushed state. the tears welling up in your eyes but you kept it together. You were never one to cry in front of someone else.

“Don’t call me that.” Your voice cracked out, shaking your head as you began stuffing every thing that was yours in the suitcase.

“Don’t call me nicknames, don’t give me the eyes, don’t…. I can’t even look at you without feeling sick.”You muttered as you refused eye contact, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“You’ve lost every privilege you’ve ever had to me. I am not yours, not baby, I am nothing to you. And you’ve made that clear.” It broke him into pieces.

He tried to think of something, something to say that would stop you from leaving - but what he did couldn't be undone.

[mumblesplash]

okay this has no relevance to anything but im fixating on it right now: how the HELL does any artist do clothing folds and creases. do they just put those things wherever they feel like and hope it looks right? do clothes crinkle in a consistent pattern i have yet to notice? this has baffled me for years

well as with a lot of art things the Correct answer is ‘observe, practice, do photo studies’ but you know full well i don’t do that. i am consequently not The Greatest at clothing folds, but i HAVE spent a greater than average proportion of my life thinking about how cloth moves, so i have some thoughts and can elaborate a bit. however my most useful advice probably boils down to ‘if you get stumped try to find an artist that did something similar to what you’re going for and try to emulate their style’

again, i’m not claiming to be an expert here, but speaking for myself the short answer to your question is ‘i mentally simulate the material i’m drawing and approximate the effect of the movement i’m imagining on the folds of the cloth’. the cool thing is that different types of fabric move differently, and you need to account for that when drawing it. i can already tell i’m not going to be able to put this into words very well, so i’ll include a bunch of examples like i did with the shoe tutorial

obviously stretchy, tight clothes are the easiest (think leggings, superhero costumes, etc) but second place probably goes to well-fitted button-ups and slacks with little to no stretch in them. with this cloth it’s just a matter of figuring out points of tension and moving out from there

these types of clothes are basically just 2 dimensional planes cut into specific shapes and manipulated through the third dimension. all you have to account for in figuring out how they fold is gravity and the position of the person wearing them, and you don’t really have to conceptualize them with any thickness or stretch.

looser fitting things like tunics and dresses are harder, but you still don’t have to account for stretch or thickness most of the time. zoe’s dress here, for example: it’s structured and folds almost geometrically when she moves, with lots of thin straight lines. (also you can see here how i really am sorta making things up, all the lines i’ve made are just suggesting folds and movement, nothing too exact)

because you now have more environmental factors to account for flowier cloth can be tricky, but if you get good instincts for how it moves it’s really good for communicating dynamic action, like how here the wind is plastering his tunic to the front of him and billowing it out behind him:

this drawing is actually a pretty good example of several different types of clothes. jason’s shirt is form-fitting and has stretch, it barely folds at all. his pants aren’t as tight, the fabric in those folds according to the way he moves, but the fabric still doesn’t have much thickness to it. his jacket has no significant stretch to it, but it’s both thick and soft, so on someone with a frame too small to properly fit it bunches up with a lot of softer shapes and almost ‘loops’ at joints, and the little girl’s dress has a lot of fabric to it but is just draping, because she’s not really moving much here

the same leather jacket on jason has a lot less drape to it and is honestly way easier to draw lmao

a good thing to remember with this is if you have a more abstract/cartoonish art style like mine its usually better to aim for ‘doesn’t look wrong’ than ‘technically correct’, which i myself could stand to keep in mind more if i’m being honest. people don’t tend to really Look at things unless they look wrong

…and as usual when i try to explain how i draw things i can’t tell if any of this is even the slightest bit useful, but hopefully getting some insight into how i think about stuff is at least kinda interesting. if anyone has specific follow up questions feel free to hmu 

[blorbosondeck]

fic rec masterlist

canon divergent/finale fix its

Anamnesis

THIS! FIC! this fic lives in my head rent FREE it is so good and it makes so much sense in the narrative that the shitty finale concocted, as to why they wouldn't mention cas or anyone else and its just. so good and they write chuck in the most villainous way that i love!!!

"Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be. Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19."

Sunset Sound: Stairway to Heaven by @adhdeancas

GOD FUCKING CHRIST this is so good and sweet and im such a sucker for team ups and reunions!!! its 3:30 am rn and i just finished it and i love it SO much it made me laugh a lot and the last few chapters i had the stupidest grin just plastered to my face

The Closer the Star, the Greater the Parallax by @rocksalts​

repressed bastard dean submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known and receives the rewards of being loved but only after some miscommunication i LOVE this i read it last night and it’s a fast favorite. my interests have overlapped and i am INTO it

“When Dean sits down to watch some bullcrap Discovery Channel episode with Cas, he doesn’t expect to actually learn anything. Except, with Cas explaining, he makes an effort to connect the dots.”

Don't We All Deserve To Be Happy?

VERY sweet and a VERY good pick me up. all around feel good fic!!! 

"Post-canon fix-it, divergent from 15x19 where Jack stays and Dean doesn't die and Cas comes back and everyone is happy. Take a shot every time I'm salty about the finale."

Keep Your Love Alive

okay. okay okay okay this may be my favorite finale fix it just because of how well reasoned it is. like this feels what should have happened i love it SO much

"Dean gets to spend eternity sharing beers with Bobby on the Roadhouse porch and riding around in his Baby with Sam. He’s at peace… or he feels like he should be. But a few things nag at him: Where is Cas, and everybody else Dean had been hoping to see in Heaven? Why does he feel like he’s stuck in a loop, reliving the same memories over and over again? And who are the strangers wearing Sam’s and Bobby’s faces?"

The GoldenRod Revisions by @aethylas​

this is one of the most well written things ive ever read. the script format DID make it feel more real and honestly? this is better writing than this show deserves. the finale that could have been ♥️

“A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.“

Ascend by @wanderingcas​ 

THEE finale fix it fic!!! written by the AMAZINGLY skilled and talented @wanderingcas !!! it’s 50k of angst and hurt/comfort and pure bliss

“Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?”

Things Happen (They Do, And They Do, And They Do) by THEE @sobsicles

i KNOW everyone has already recommended this and likely you’ve all already read it. but it has to go here bc REPRESSIOOOOOOOOON i LOVE this so much it is one of the most perfect things i’ve read. are you bisexual? did you have a kind of weird relationship with your best friend and not realize that how you felt about them wasn’t necessarily how other people felt about them and you were maybe a little bit in love with them but were too repressed to realize it? you’ll feel seen. maybe a little too seen

Closer (isn't close enough)

are you a sweet and sappy yet horny bastard? do you like cas exploding light bulbs? you will like this.

“the one where they finally talk about what cas said before the empty took him”

You and Your Husband

it is exTRMELY sweet!!! repression dean strikes again <3

"Five times Dean corrects someone about his relationship with Cas, and one time he realizes he doesn't need to."

Tall Grass

miscommunication and a slowburn! despite being written in 2017 and finished in 2018, it feels like a fix it. ft. plant obsessed cas <3 

Invictus

a LOVELY and short (relatively) finale fix it

“They saved the world. They're free. It's done.

Except it's not, and carrying on is the last thing any of them are thinking about.

They still have someone they need to save.”

Unchained Link

post finale- it’s a great case fic and i am compelled i want more!!!

"It's after the end of things. Life continues on while Dean is "livin it up" in heaven. But it's never that simple, is it? A freak occurrence sends Dean into another time stranded back on Earth. And he thought his hunting days were over. But, no worries. His knight in shining armor comes to the rescue. Hijinks, therefore, ensue."

fun and time unspecified

Ladies and Gentlemen, This is Love Potion No. 5

very funny and sweet! miscommunication at its finest ♥️

"Cas gets drenched with a mystery potion from the ‘love spell’ shelf and... Dean has a sneaking suspicion, angel or no— the spell may have taken effect. And Cas might be in love with Sam."

The Way We Were

Y'all. It is so good its a great mix of funny and serious- extremely fun to see dean as like a base bisexual

"Dean and Castiel pose as a couple to gain access to a gated community known as 'The Glen', a pleasant if secretive location that the boys believe might be linked to several dead bodies showing up over the years bearing signs of ritualistic sacrifice. All seems well until Dean's memory is affected from an incident during a solo exploration, leaving Dean convinced that their cover story is true. Castiel is left trying to resolve their case without taking advantage of an increasingly enthusiastic Dean"

While You Were Sleeping

this is basically just the movie but replacing sandra bullock with cas. this is my comfort movie and imo, one of the most perfect rom coms. the fic isn’t finished but i still have the tab open on my phone and i will straight up go back and re read it when i need a pick me up. 

aus/rewrites

The Harvelle Gospels: Offscript

i know everyone ever ( @jewishcharliebradbury ) has recommended this fic. and for good reason go fucking read it

“The Apocalypse is averted, the angels are in Heaven, and Jo is free from the threat of possession. Somehow it couldn't be farther from a happy ending.“

absolute riots

An Ineffably Profound Bond

i honestly would have put this in the finale fix it section! look. i know. i know you've been burned by crossover fics before. but this is Thee good omens/spn fic you want. its funny as hell and immensely satisfying. im weak for everyone working together tropes and that is this

"After Chuck sets 'The End' in motion, the remaining members of TFW make a miraculous escape. Not willing to waste any time, Castiel comes up with a plan to travel to one of the other worlds to try and get help from the angels there, but after a fight with Dean, it's the hunter who gets sent into an alternate universe,with seemingly no hope of return.

When a mysterious human with a heavenly weapon shows up in Aziraphale's shop, he and Crowley learn that their world is not the only one. Now it is up to them to decide whether or not they want to join forces with the human and help him save his world or simply find a way to send him home."

Somebody Up There Likes Me by @lafilleredige

cas is hit with a spell that turns his vessel into a woman, hijinks and sexuality crises ensue etc etc sam is a supportive and bitchy little brother and its all SO fucking funny and also. horny as hell i love it i love it i LOVE it

“’Dean doesn’t want to talk about your breasts, it’s making him uncomfortable because he hasn’t acknowledged the complex fluidity of human sexuality.’“

Stray Cat Strut

a long crack fic that IS one of the funniest things i’ve ever read and i can’t explain why. it’s so ooc but its so funny that i don’t care. if you need a laugh you gotta read this

"Sam and Cas are immediately in love with the adorable kitty they find outside the bunker door, and occupy their time planning how to convince Dean--who they believe is off sulking after a botched hunt--to let them keep their cat. Along the way, Dean learns to use a litter box and hears some confessions he maybe wasn’t supposed to hear, all while realizing just how much he loves Castiel.

Now all Dean has to do is convince Cas and Sam their new pet cat is actually him before they do something crazy--like neuter him!"

canon compliant or slight canon divergence

Give

by @doublestuffedimpala post season 7 episode 7, kind of ambiguous ending but truly a cas is happy to bleed for the winchesters fic

Punch Like Bones 

short, post 5x04 homoerotic moment that i wish we’d gotten

[anonil88]

Malcolm and Marie live blog

I don't usually do liveblogs for movies but yea.

Spoilers ahead!!

I love that its modern timed but very 70s stylized.

A tune indeed.

When you are high and drunk on success and

How the white critic reacts is why I feel like gatekeeping my scripts. At the same time some things I do make are about race or involve.

Marie sitting on the patio smoking is a mood whenever men are talking.

So he's pretentious and unaware.

Whoever chose the music for this, I feel like we would be Spotify mutuals.

Can this nigga stop pacing.

Also can he stop talking;

Marie is so tired and unimpressed.

Also little booties matter and are to be bitten.

Oooo the tension and the jazz.

Title Card over mac and cheese.

Shitty boxes mac and cheese but still mac and cheese.

Tbh i always wonder if spouses/significant others get upset when their spouses don't acknowledge them during speeches.

John sounds so much like his dad but I really hope his acting style differs from his dad a lot.

Guilty confession?

He did not profit off of his partners backstory and then not even acknowledge her.....I.....

If that ever happened to me catch me cussing my partner out during the beginning credits, the end credits, in the car, and at home.

GASLIGHTER!

The way I'm excited for Zendaya to give me some, oooo can she work with Regina King. Please on my knees I pray.

Um no that's not your job to coddle your lead.

He's a dick and the type of dick who makes himself look like a good person around other people.

If Sam Levinson is trying to make his viewers more of misandrist, it's working.

I feel like Marie has her flaws probably a lot of them and we will surely see as this continues, but Malcolm needs to learn how to apologize sincerely.

70s vibes! 70s vibes!

Them kissing and talking about criticism and dreams makes me miss a partner. A partner that I've had and haven't had.

Women really are behind every great man.

Yea sir you fucked a happy moment.

Oh visual allegories for looking in from the outside and cat and mouse chasing and looking from the outside in.

She's saying she doesn't feel noticed by you.

Gas lighter :0 he called her an emotional support dog, bruh.

I would LOVE to co-write or take a writing class held by Sam Levinson. The fights i write are very much in this same realm of reflection and anger and monologue.

Sam.....sam.....are all the sides inside of you doing okay sir?

The ugly side of dating and being in a relationship with someone who struggles with their own demons.

Honestly I could close my eyes and listen to this script being read without seeing these characters visually. Just close my eyes and get a sense of these characters like it was a radio story.

Oh. Oh this is a new wheelhouse of Zendaya acting; a different voice is like breaking through here and her expressions aren't the same we are used to. You can literally hear another character in there....hmm.

Mans is outside really fighting with his invisible demons lmfao.

Selfish ass, how after everything she said you came out of it thinking about your own craft and self instead of how you hurt her.

So she's conditional.

Me: did sam (a white man) say nigga this many times in his script or are the actors adding their own inflections. Not just the lingo used but the topic of race and directing etc. being written by a white writer about black characters is always gonna be a critique when you're writer is a white person.

Alexa play Broken Girls by Saba

He is so hurtful.

A clown nigga a clown look in the fucking mirror you bozo head ass looking like you need some Mehron clown white and a size 16 in clown shoes.

John is doing a really swell performance and reading of these lines.

He is reading her for her insecurities by bringing up his experiences with other women and that.....is yikes.

Arguments can get messy like this in real life but it takes a lot of maturity and control to either not let it get to this point or have a healthy conversation afterwards.

This film is really shot on some very crisp lenses.

They sitting there like 🚬🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️.

Leftover Mac and Cheese and unfinished cigarettes.

The nyt etc. pay walls are so annoying, but there is a work around look at the articles on incognito or add a period at the end of the url.

He sounds like his daddy so much here, weird, this is the only part I'm eh on the dialogue it feels real but a bit out of pace in how they are bouncing off one another.

Nail scissors? So the end is not the only part he based off of Marie. 🙄

ITS A GOOD REVIEW YOU DINGUS but also its a full review they are going to critique things. She isn't wrong though he did profit off of a woman's story that was not his own to profit from.

Yes Malcolm because unfortunately all marginalized people look through a lens of life that is inherently political because of the world they live in.

He is so mad and upset and had a lot on his chest. But I think he Malcolm and Sam are talking about something thats an issue and a non issue. Being critiqued for you art is hard but also Malcolm is not super self aware. He's like a stand in figure of for example rich depop sellers who wanna be oppressed so badly they yell at others instead of examining their own personal behaviors and ethics.

Oh Marie, when you know the spark is gone and you pick fights because.

He ain't even ask her to read?

One critic I have for most of hollywood actors is they learn their cry and that is it. A change from this is Margot Robbie, I adore her fluctuations of crying being similar but the crying is carried differently for each character. If I had to say any actor that does a cry scene amazing its this woman right here (Amy Adams)

You stole her story from her and gave it away, she has a right to be upset and angry and a rubber band ball of emotions.

Citizen Kane, not the cinematography, but the story is it even that good? (Unpopular opinion but meh, maybe in my rewatch it will be better.)

But that is what people want authenticity and whatever authenticity means to them. What is real for one is false for another.

To be honest look at the criticism of Euphoria, well earned, but a lot of people were like this isn't real even though he literally wrote about his own life. People said it was inauthentic like....wtf.

Ahh the smoking is just a habit, he quit and she didn't.

CAST ZENDAYA IN A HORROR MOVIE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. Get Lupita and Zendaya and some more black actors preferably less known ones in a horror movie. One with a interesting script and story, directed by Regina King. Please and thankyou.

I love Marie yep that was amazing.

Behind every great man is a greater woman, one that deserves her credit for how she has stood behind. I wonder the stories of those women, what they have sacrificed or not sacrificed. Their thoughts and feelings when the world is surrounding their partner and views them as a plus one. (I'd write a short script about this but I think do I have the time, can I, or am I equipped ?)

He is a shitty person for bringing up his exes, like she even said I don't wanna know any of that.

Imagine being on anti depressents and rarely having a sex drive and then when you do your partner starts talking about their exes and tearing you apart for all your faults.

I love when you see peaks of Zendaya's cadence in roles.

Tension, what if's and he didn't even bring her up in his speech.

Marie to herself and the audience:

He is not afraid that he will loose her but as my character says in my unreleased story, "i can't wait til you give me a fucking reason to leave your ass." Malcolm expects everything in order for not even doing the bare minimum and she is only asking him for something as simple as consideration. She just wants him to be considerate. He wants to get married and considers their relationship like rolling down a hill at full speed and he cannot apologize, he cannot be considerate, and he cannot admit his wrongs. He can only offer her I love yous that he probably does mean but he does not back up outside of what he's done for her in the past. The past which was more of her experience than his and he sees his part in it as a burden. He doesn't use his own vantage point of the past to further his career he uses her. He does all of these things without a real apology or thankyou because he is not afraid to loose her.

The restrictions of quarantine and the panorama have made Sam's writing very no frills. I wonder how other films from other directors and writers that are filmed in small contained crews like this will be structured. But this was a very good movie gonna add to my letter box 3.3-3.5

Oh shit this is my song,

Ratings/overall thoughts:

Script is like a C+, B- : I could go into my heavier big brain thoughts on the script but I don't feel like it. You catch hints of it above it centers conversation on race and privilege, mainly the writers and questions i have that won't be answered but Sam did make me grow disdain for Malcolm over a short time. Which is sometimes hard to do because im one sympathetic person but the sympathy i have for Malcolm is at 0. Maybe a 2 at some scenes but then it quickly goes back to 0. Some parts of the dialogue miss the mark or hit the are off balanced. While some of it like Malcolm's bathroom speech albeit mean is really strong or their conversation when he comes back from peeing really shines for me.

Performances: B+ to A- because they carried the script further than it could of gone with less talented actors. The monologues do well to showcase their current skill levels which are already high af and leave room for anticipation in where these actors go next.

Zendaya holding a knife: A+ with a gold star. That switch on and off and on is delectable.

John being a shitty boyfriend but following Marie like a lost puppy: B+ with a good job written at the bottom of the paper, Malcolm being nervous a frantic dialed up with more realistic nervousness would have sold me completely on Malcolm's anxious waiting.

Cinematography: A and a participation award.

The mac and cheese: A+ for the easy mac. Wish it was like Annie's or Velveeta.

Cigarettes: Participation award and their picture hung up for student of the month. Why the grill lighter? Everytime Malcolm opened up his mouth Marie was like sparks fly.

The music: A++ with a prize. Whoever picked the music probably makes good Spotify playlists.

[jennrypan]

Ok good things about this finale cuz honestly it was a solid episode, extremely stressful and they didnt actually deal with the issue they said they were goin too but anyways--

Butcher..protecting Hughie in his..own special way, love to see it (did it with MM too, his love language is knocking his family out for the greater good and thats not good--)

Also I like Annie and Maeves relationship soo much?? The friendship i didnt know i needed, like Annie actually made her want to be a hero cuz unlike all them Annie genuinely wanted to help, always wanted to help and its just "Fuck if YOURE still good after everything..maybe the world isnt too bad."

Black Noir aint have to die like that and i am FUMING. FUCK-- Anyways. Reggie (~A-Train) is finally after so damn long realizing the consequences of his actions and its good! Its about time they all get consequences for being cunts. I feel bad for his brother though (but honestly blue hawk deserved to die, idc, Ill give A Train a slight pass on that one)

The Deep being this overly pathetic, fish fucker lacky is always hilarious. Hes just such a loser, also. Ashleys haair oh my goddd. Like..shes been in so much stress and the fact Homelander just made her take off her wig for no reason. Insane. Ashleys a dick sometimes but i feel bad for her cuz when she first started she was probably happier and eager to assist which is sad.

Also ..Ryan is..annoying. After everything his mom taught him. He just immediately turns the other cheek cuz his crazy dad said some nice things?? Like..he shouldve just said fuck Butcher AND Homelander and maybe go with CIA Lady again?? And now hes with a bunch of trump supporters which is not what you want a little kid to be around (and Jeanines loser ass step dad, MM better kill his ass. Hes crazy)

Also. Hughie deciding to amplify Annies powers instead of taking the V cuz he cares about her and knows she cares about him just!!!! Them!!!! They are perfect!! also. God modw Annie for the win!! I hope they use that more next season, i want her to fly- she needs it, let her be op !!

Also Soldier boy was really good. He was such a big piece of shit, also..i do like how he was gonna go through with the plan and they shouldve friggin let him THEN jumped his ass. Also. He was the WORST and Jensen did so well, its so cool to see him in things like this and I hope hes in more stuff, maybe a movie next?

Also..Head Popper (i forgot her name 😭) is fuckin runnin for vice president?? Please-- get her- also I like how the group is gonna stand up for themselves especially Frenchie, cuz Butcher treated them all like shit for a while and he better apologize to all of them and at least he didnt object to Annie joining them (also..i hope the way to keep him alive they give him permanent v or SOMETHING please-- he better not get a redemption by dyin for someone istg-)

Just.hhh this show. The writing and character arcs are sooo much damn better than in the comics and i love it, im barely even goin through other parts of the episodes cuz so much happened but yeah just!!!! Cant wait for season 4

[milks-writings]

✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀ ｡⋆♡° ✫  ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀ ｡⋆♡° ✫

✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀ PAIRING: Takanobu Aone x GN!Reader

✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀ WARNINGS: swearing, one nsfw joke

✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀ REQUEST: How’s it going??🌸 Im the anon who requested Aone thing some time ago and it was👍🏻👍🏻So i’m very happy i again can ask your brilliant mind to write something, scenario maybe 🥺with polar bear Aone who has a childishly cute crush on reader and tries to get their attention. Like chocolate bars and everything, but also are very scared of them to be afraid of him you know?? But once he has a very difficult match and is sad and insecure about it, the reader comes and gives him a lucky kiss AH💋

✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀ A/N: OMG I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG BUT SCHOOL HAS BEEN LATELY REALLY STRESSFUL

I hope you like the Scenario! <33

✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀ Masterlist

✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀ Scenario: Good Luck kiss with Aone

Takanobu Aone

He didn’t know how he should confess to you. Honestly, it was his first time crushing on someone, so all the feelings that built up in his stomach, heart and mind over the time were overwhelming to process for him, so instead, he thought that those feelings were feelings of guilt and the fear that he hurt you. Leaving every day some chocolate or a sweet small note on your desk was the least he could do before he could face you again, thinking that small gestures like that would make him feel slightly better.

But then again, what did he do wrong?

Nothing, if he thinks really hard about what happened in the last weeks. But maybe you were just not comfortable around him? And that’s why he felt horrible? Even though it didn’t make any sense, that’s what he believed the most. Out of everything he was scared of, besides playing against a strong volleyball team and loosing, you being scared of him was one of his biggest fears.

And those two fears were seeming to come up to him today. The volleyball game against Karasuno and him waiting for you to respond to his letter he gave you two days ago, but sadly you could only answer now since you were busy yesterday. So now two things at once would happen.

Usually, aone was rather a realist and would not think of something too positive or too negative. He tends to look at the reality but this time, it was really hard for him to do that. Thinking of only the worst was not an option to him, never was, never will be, but for today, it was different.

His mixed feelings made him feel more nervous then he should feel, and his stomach kept making flips, thinking that you would simply reject him and make him even more nervous before the game. You promised to come before the game, but would you really? Maybe you would be too late? Maybe you would not show up at all?

His heart made a few flips, causing him to mess up a few spikes and blocks due to being unfocused. It was stupid to get distracted so easily. It was his fault for being so whipped for you, but then again, was he really whipped or did he only feel guilty for possibly making you feel scared? While in his head the fog began to spread, making his thoughts unclear and unorganized, partly also very confusing, his heart clearly showed its feelings.

He liked you. He just couldn’t accept it yet. It was not like he hated you, it was not like he disliked the thought of liking you. He was just scared, scared of rejection, scared that you didn’t like you back. His heart rate would always go 180 whenever he caught a glimpse of you, even if it was less than a second, he immediately recognized you. So when he-

“Aone!” The voice caught him off guard, and not only him, but also most of the team mates looked over at your figure. “Oh. Hello Y/N” Aone greeted you, surprised but definitely not disappointed. The team mates gave him a look of approvement, signalizing him that he should go and talk to you. So he did. The steps felt like jumps, making it harder to walk and his lung started to run out of air, making the atmosphere between Aone and you a little weird, but you soon have taken notice of it, so the words rolled off your tongue. “Are you nervous?” So three simple words turned his world around, and slowly he nodded, giving you the sign that he could not even answer with words. “that’s okay. I would be nervous too” A small laugh escaped your mouth, giving his cheeks a pinkish tint. “The game will start soon” he informed you. “Yeah I know… I also have to go soon to get a seat…” Your voice trailed off into the empty air, leaving him almost even more nervous behind. "So good luck.” With reaching up to his cheek and leaving a small smooch on his cheek, the kissed place grew even more red, and it felt like all the weight got lifted off his shoulders, replacing the nervous feeling in this stomach with butterflies. “Thanks” he replied, the usually straight line that rested on his lips slightly going up into a smile. “I am sure you will do great” With one thumb up, you left the white haired male behind.

Maybe you were even greater and he wasn’t scared of feeling rejected, but scared that you would force yourself into this.

But that seemed not to be the case.

Instead of leaving him giddy and worried on the court, you managed to brighten his day. Not only a little, but much more than you could ever think of.

And the good luck kiss was much better than any chocolate or small sticky notes with sweet words.

The kiss felt like he already had won a game he always wanted to win.

«𝐛𝐲 𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞»

✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀ LOYAL PEEPS: @elianetsantana​

[forthisone]

Shadow and Bone Trilogy Book Review

Long, rambling, sometimes-capslock thoughts on the Shadow and Bone trilogy, having just a couple of hours ago finished reading the trilogy of Shadow and Bone, Seige and Storm and Ruin and Rising.

MALYEN ORETSEV IS TOO PURE FOR THIS WORLD AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

Fair warning: Major spoilers for the whole series and ending, entire focus on Mal/Alina 😅 I apologise for nothing.

I THINK THIS MIGHT BE THE FIRST TIME I’VE EXPERIENCED A SHIP I REALLY LOVE HAVE A HAPPY ENDING. Hooooooly shit. It feels good.

😭😭😭

Leigh Bardugo really served up everything I want to see! Give me all the tropes! All the angst! All the longing! AND with a happy ending?! *chef’s kiss*

I’m shook.

It feels amazing that for once in my life, something I ship has finally finished front and centre and I am absolutely here for it!

So let’s first clarify that I went in to the books just after finishing S1 of the Netflix show, already head over heels in love with Mal/Alina and rooting for them the whole way through. They are the reason I read the books. In the stories that I enjoy, I value love above all other aspects of the story; it’s just who I am.

The Pain of Siege and Storm

I admit, about 50% of this trilogy and the majority of Book 2 and early Book 3 was me in pain just wondering why they couldn’t be together and why they kept pushing each other away. Book 2 was an emotional rollercoaster ngl. I was frustrated that they spent so much time being miserable around eachother but were never allowed to be happy or give in to their feelings? They are best friends. Mal wants to support her. LET HIM SUPPORT HER. Let her confide in him and find comfort in him.

Endgame? Not Endgame?

This went on in a similar vein for some time and towards the end of Book 3, I was getting increasingly worried they weren’t endgame and this was indeed all leading up to Mal ultimately sacrificing himself... which obviously did happen...

But when Alina says “Bring him back to me.”, I just thought “THANK YOU. VINDICATION. THIS IS WHAT HAPPINESS FEELS LIKE.” and I knew we were home and dry and my god it felt good.

But I was so happy with the ending. It’s exactly what I wanted to happen, though I didn’t expect it... AND THEN IT HAPPENED. For them to go back to how they were and live the rest of their days in quiet happiness. Neither of them asked for this. They just belonged with eachother.

The last line of the book:

They had an ordinary life, full of ordinary things - if love can ever be called that.

HAPPY SIGH. YES.

More on this below.

People hate Mal?!?

I... don’t understand why so many fans apparently don’t like Mal. ?!?!????!? I had heard this before reading and went in to the books with trepidation. I was waiting for him to do something awful to justify the hate and... it just never happened. Is it just the way he behaves in Siege and Storm? Because I do accept he is slightly more problematic in the books than the show but Y’ALL KNOW HE WAS ONLY IN THAT PIT OF DESPAIR BECAUSE HE FELT LIKE HE WAS LOSING HER. She never really reassured him that much, if anything she confirmed his fears (from his pov anyway). And he was right to doubt her, because she was doubting her feelings too in secret, and he could feel it.

BUT. But he accepts it in Ruin and Rising. He grows into it. He accepts they can’t be together as they are. And he still stays, only to protect her, to keep her safe. He never asks for more than that. “You are my flag. You are my nation.” Roast me over a slow fire.

You will never, ever convince me not to root for the childhood best friend who loves her unconditionally and knows her better than anyone else and will die for her and will spend the rest of his days just being close to her, to protect her, even if that’s all he ever gets. This is the hill I will die on.

And then she comes back to him. 🤧🤧🤧

The Love Square

So, in terms of love interests for Alina:

Mal >>> Nikolai >>>>>>>>>>>>> Darkling

Wasn’t a fan of the love square here. I understand if she has feelings for different people, I respect everyone’s right to ship what they want, but I honestly had whiplash. One second she’s “in physical pain” missing Mal, next she is “drawn to” the Darkling, then wants to kiss Nikolai. I’m extremely monogamous and that’s probably why all this chopping and changing just felt really jarring to me.

I liked Nikolai as a character but I valued their friendship and I just wanted their relationship to remain platonic. I’m happy with how his storyline ended too. I hope he’s okay!

Mainly I did not understand why she was still drawn to the Darkling after all the loved ones he slaughtered in front of her. Fuck him, honestly (Ben Barnes I still love you though).

But this line near the end kind of summed it up for me, I guess:

Merzost. Darkness. You could hate it and hunger for it at the same time.

But I no longer care about any of this because my ship was endgame, baby! 😭😭😭

The Finale

I am glad Mal become more “important” in the end. That there was a magical bond between them. (I feel a little dumb I didn’t see it coming that he was an amplifier, because I did clock on to the jolts of light that happened when he grabbed her wrist and thought it was foreshadowing something).

I like even more that they agreed they would have found each other despite it.

“Maybe that brought us together, but it didn’t make us who we are. It didn’t make you the girl who could get me to laugh when I had nothing. It sure as hell didn’t make me the idiot that took that for granted. Whatever there is between us, we forged it. It belongs to us."

I was waiting for the scene in the conservatory the entire time and it was so perfect! Worth the wait! I can’t wait to see the aesthetics of it in the show. The flowers, the greenery... the lanterns. It was so pretty in my head!

I could pretend I wasn’t a saviour or a Saint, that I could simply choose him, have a life, be in love. That we wouldn’t have one night, we would have thousands.

It was a perfect ending for me really because I got both the angsty hero-sacrifices-himself-for-protagonist-and-greater-good scene AND the happy ending. I’ve honestly been spoilt 😂 My shipper heart has never been so satisfied.

The actual plot of the ending was a complete blur and I have no idea what happened other than Alina lost her power and the Darkling died and... some other people became light summoners? I think? I was so focused on whether Mal would live or not I couldn’t really process the rest! I will have to reread.

It’s a shame that Alina no longer has her power and that Mal lost some of his tracking skill in the end, but... I’ll take it for a happy ending where they spend the rest of their lives together as equals. It’s not like Mal stole her power from her. They both made sacrifices and in the end, they still won.

The shrieks of the volcra erupted around me as the Fold began to unravel. It was a miracle. And I didn’t care. The Saints could keep their miracles. The Grisha could keep their long lives and their lessons. Mal was dead.

I love that most of the book is all about her feeling the pull of her powers, feeling changed by it, drifting from Mal… but in the end, when it’s all done and over, she doesn’t care. She wants none of it. She chooses him. She wants him back. This is what I was waiting the whole series to read, honestly. Love conquers all, baby.

I just love that there were all these passages about their love not being possible because “they weren’t the same people any more” and the boy and girl from the orphanage were gone... and yet, it ends with the boy and the girl at the orphanage. Just like how it started. It's so obvious to me now that the whole story was about THE BOY AND THE GIRL. Every Before and After. It was right there all along.

THANK YOU, LEIGH BARDUGO.

My soul can now die happy.

I thought it was a really beautiful story.

Would happily reread. Will happily reread.

Im definitely going to continue with the other Grishaverse books too.

Can’t wait for more of the show because I’m honestly in love with the casting and this pairing and this series. Please, please, God, let it be renewed, and with the same cast, and covering the whole trilogy!

[mamingle]

Villain!Mirror Drakath ideas

1. He really didnt want to force order, but maybe enemies and allies taunted/accused him for not killing bad guys? He got fed up with it and decided to act

2. Betrayal of Mirror Gravelyn played heavy role in him making that decision, his closest friend tried to kill him, because she didnt feel protected, because she didnt feel like he was protecting this realm enough. It makes Mirror Drakath heart ache for what he believes "failed at"

3. He will lock up every hero/good person in prison/dungeon in order to prevent them from being hurt by him. The first thing he does is capture M!Gravelyn, lock her up solemnly and telling her "its... For your own good. I cant let you be hurt by me or others..." Not realising that he IS hurting her

4. He will defeat and do that to the Hero too (you can put your Ezyra in here for imagining it better or anyone's character really) once he finds you trying to stop him. And, if you know Lord of Order class, Mirror Drakath will surely aim to incapacitate you from doing any harm. Perhaps he turns into Prime Order Drakath to ensure his victory against evil? Then suffers abit of burn scars, but himbo will be fine, trust me

5. Chaos Drakath has a small inner panic once he realizes "holy Lore, he IS going chaotic!" and helps you & Mirror Gravelyn to escape prison/dungeon with his portals (like the ones he used in Chaos Twin's chapter). Because Mirror Drakath is too busy being a villain to care about it

6. Mirror Gravelyn regrets her actions and Mirror Twins join you two to fight along side Hero to bring her good old himbo buddy back

7. Mirror Drakath just vents out about his feelings. But promises to make things right. Such as helping bad guys to rebuild their stuff to have abit of evil head-start, getting some chaotic advice from Chaos Drakath that will not do big harm, but will be enough to balance things out

-i probably don't need to type that im Shroom at this point :p

YOOOOO THIS IS SO GOOD SHROOM!!! This is a whole ass story outline and I am LIVING for the angst :D

A series of bad events stacking up on such a short amount of time while he’s trying his best to regain some semblance of order back into the Mirror Realm after the whole Malgor fiasco definitely seems like a good breaking point for Mirror!Drakath. ESPECIALLY if it’s combined with having the people under his care beginning to doubt him and his abilities since, let’s face it, he became a mess in the short time his Lords of Order were captured back in the birthday event, so who’s to say his performance hasn’t worsened since his Lords DIED as a result of the Chaos War? (Here’s hoping that the Lords of Order who were brought back couldn’t stay in the present timeline and had to be put back in the past because of paradox reasons)

Even with all his allies and powers, he’s still one man, and being the main defender of the Mirror Realm meant that he’d probably stretched himself thin more than once trying to help as much as he can. Poor guy’s probably too stressed and sleep deprived to make sound decisions, so I honestly can’t blame him for going ape shit askldjadasf

I also love how you reinforced Mirror!Drakath’s motives through what happened with Mirror!Gravelyn, since I do personally see him as someone who takes the brunt of the blame when things go wrong in his world, and having a close friend go rouge just from shady promises of a more peaceful world from a guy who’s known for being a major manipulator is definitely a blow to his ego as a Champion.

Also the angst!!! OH THE ANGST!!! I’m a sucker for characters unintentionally hurting their friends for the ‘greater good’ trope XD

And oh man, Mirror!Drakath becoming an enemy is a TERRIFYING thought (and yes, I have red the movesets for the Lord of Order class, and good lord I have never been more scared of a support ASDJKASJK)

AND HIM RESORTING TO GOING PRIME MODE AT THE COST OF HIS OWN SAFETY IS GOD TIER EMOTIONAL DAMAGE ;-; just the thought of him forcing himself to keep fighting even when he could feel his body getting more and more damaged the longer he keeps himself Prime is just AAAAAAHHHH SHROOM WHY :ᗡ

AND YESSSS RELUCTANT HERO CHAOS!DRAKATH AND HIS HANDY-DANDY PORTALS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY :D (bastard’s actually good for something after all HAJSHJASHF)

And of course at the end of it all when he inevitably loses and gets his senses back after an emotionally rousing speech from Mirror!Gravelyn and the Hero, it would be revealed that all Mirror!Drakath really wants is for someone to be there for him when he needs them (and maybe therapy. Man’s got a lot of issues to sort through).

Give him a nudge to the right direction and a chance to let go of some of his pent up emotional baggage and he should be good to go (plus the guilt of his actions should keep him in check in the next time the thought of seizing total control over the Mirror Realm crosses his mind again)

BRAVO SHROOM :D once again your ideas have given me the case of the brain worms so GOOD JOB!!!

[swimfuel]

okay humanstuck thoughts under the cut

i owe a lot of this to @/rhythmic-idealist's kankri/vantasposting bc holy shit theyve got such a big brain (ill link to their individual posts when im on desktop since im using this to keep all my thoughts straight and i agree with most of what they say wholeheartedly)

general status quo stuff:

signless works in an extremely demanding career involving helping others (i'm leaning towards an attorney who works with organizations and does pro bono work), and is also extensively involved in social justice work outside of his job... he is very rarely home

he loves and cares for his children deeply and tries to express it whenever they're face to face, but the couch in his cramped and messy office has seen far too much use over the years for him to have been able to say it enough

his habits of working himself to the point of exhaustion are handily passed down to his kids btw

the kids had to grow up quickly because signless was out of the house so often and so consistently—kankri, who was already pretty high-strung, has to learn to take care of himself and karkat

they grow up near ms firuzeh maryam, who's their pseudoaunt/grandma (she took in a nine year old kavana vantas when she was about twenty), but they just call her ms rosa

they spent a lot of time in the maryam house growing up, with miss rosa's two nieces. porrim is a year older than kankri, while kanaya and karkat are the same age

kankri grows kinda sensitive to people trying to mother him since it rubs against the notion that he's the "adult of the house" and that he can take care of himself and karkat just fine

(and it also kinda underlines the fact that kankri has no idea what he's doing at the best of times)

and ironically enough, kankri becomes overbearing and naggy towards karkat in his own right, which forestalls them becoming close in any brotherly sort of way

they grow up really just... unable to communicate with one another clearly

karkat develops his ornery exterior in response to kankri's constant stream of opinions and frantic attempts at making up for the presence of a guardian in the house

i think there would actually be some really interesting parallels with rose in this au.. maybe i'm drawing from my own experiences as well but i think he'd begin to assume that every time his brother opens his mouth, he's going to criticize karkat

but instead of reacting like rose with the "making yourself more of a puzzle"/passive aggressive stuff, he gets a more defensive/hackles raised/"argue with you before you can argue with me" approach

and the thing is that they do love each other and would take a bullet for the other etc etc etc.. but they don't know how to express it because they've fallen into these shitty patterns

and it really doesn't help that kankri has grown somewhat resentful of signless over the years... that mix of resentment and fear and love gets more extreme and more polar every time signless gets injured during a political demonstration

i think kankri and signless would also be slightly closer than karkat and signless, as signless' job really only started to ramp up when karkat was less than years old and kankri was in his early double digits

kankri autistic btw its word of god (i am god)

karkat has a pet crab. its name is also karkat. he vents his frustrations to it.

i feel like the vantases exemplify both the best and worst parts of their aspects with one another as well... the strength of their bonds keeps them together and grounded, but TOO grounded. [insert Blood rant here]

the Blood rant:

i define Blood as bonds, responsibility, and the "core". if Life is the fertile soil and everything living on a planet's surface, then Blood is the gravitational core of the planet keeping everything together

i also think Blood, Heart, & Mind work in tandem to define a person just as blood serves to connect the pieces of the human body... Heart is the soul and the self, Mind is the application of one's self through active choices (agency), while Blood defines both the self and the choices one makes in greater detail [and, as an aside, Life provides the physical spark of life needed to keep the heart pumping blood]

OKAY wow that got tangential anyways

SO BASICALLY! too much Blood makes you stagnate, so for example:

kankri is split between staying home with karkat or going to college across the country and being truly unbound for the first time in years

another crisis of Blood: signless is caught between his empathy and responsibility to the whole world and his responsibility to his own children

okay so here's more status quo stuff:

the maryam and vantas kids grow up together and its hilarious because you'll see them all together and its just like (girlboss) (girlboss) (physical manlet) (emotional manlet)

the maryam girls are actually miss rosa's nieces but she took them in when they were both pretty young

the pyropes know the vantases well enough considering pyrope senior and sign have known one another from their respective legal practices for years, but they live on the other side of town

the leijons lived in town when kankri and meulin were very young, but they moved and travelled for a long time before coming back and reestablishing their roots

the captors (psii being one of sign's oldest and closest friends) move into town with the peixes family pretty early on though

the condesce is.. a horrible spouse and guardian, to put it plainly. she's very emotionally manipulative and isn't averse to smacking people around, including her own family. she moves herself and her perfect little family into town so she can properly oversee a new business venture close by

feferi is one of the best young swimmers in the country and has a pretty good shot of getting onto the olympic team.. a lot of this drive to be perfect and to be better results from the condesce's unrelenting pressure and thinly veiled resentment throughout her whole life

so yeah psii, )(ic, feferi, and sollux all live together and it's really not great for anyone involved. (meenah ran away years ago, and crashed on aranea's couch for a pretty long while—mituna moved out with latula for college before psii and the condesce got married)

it gets bad to the point of sollux staying with the maryams for two months while the adults try to sort out that absolute clusterfuck and get the divorce proceedings going (meenah finally convinces feferi to get out and come stay with her and aranea for the duration as well)

in terms of relationships i think latula and porrim were really really close in high school, and probably had some kind of unacknowledged thing going on for a while that never actually turned into anything because latula and mituna were going steady

kankri has had a crush on latula for years but never acted on it for similar reasons

meenah still carries a lot of that give no fucks attitude (it's developed moreso as a defense mechanism here) and can't understand why feferi refuses to leave the condesce with her

okay back to VANTAS MANPAIN i also think that karkat feels the weight of a lot of expectations on his shoulders as well

he feels responsible to live up to the example his dad and his brother set, even if it's to his own detriment—and kankri's oblivious rambling about his grades and his teachers and all his clubs certainly aren't helping the matter

kankri is one of those overinvolved kids taking a million AP's while simultaneously shitting on the collegeboard at every single step

hes this super overachiever anal retentive perfectionist type dude and (just as karkat preemptively criticizes others to forestall their criticisms of him only to harshly criticize himself) kankri subconsciously holds the people around him to the same expectations he holds for himself

so karkat also develops this sense of lacking which, in combination with everything else, culminates in self loathing and thinking he has to solve everyone else's problems and getting horribly mad at himself for every little mistake

GOD i have a lot more but lemme post this before i accidentally close out of the app and lose it all

more little details:

vriska's mom and terezi's mom HATE each other like HATE HATE HATE one another it's so bad

karkat wrote a ten page review of my immortal in middle school

jade is one of nepeta's best online friends

sollux can't raise one eyebrow at a time.. karkat gives him so much grief about it

the vantases eat a lot of shitty renditions of persian dishes until karkat learns to cook because literally the only person in the world with a CHANCE of getting KANKRI VANTAS to make an EDIBLE DISH is miss rosa

kanaya is really good at persian dance too but is VERY VERY embarassed to perform in front of people.. however porrim definitely is not

karkat has insomnia while kankri just stays up stupidly late for assignments that really shouldnt be taken that seriously.. but they both have the same rumination/sleep anxiety thing where your brain goes insane with horrible and depressing scenarios as you try to sleep

and more ideas that i thought were interesting but idk how to fit in the context of this au:

signless and disciple getting married pretty late in life after having been in love for years, the vantases move in with the leijons and karkat suddenly has two sisters

nepeta and karkat are both juniors at this point, meulin is probably in her third year at a local college nearby while kankri is about to start his second year at a university pretty far away

the kids in general honestly but ill figure it out

more random hcs this time with kids:

kanaya and rose get into a flame war online that gradually settles into elaborate courtship rituals

also nepeta + jade online besties

also bec can inexplicably still teleport

the first sbahj movie comes out and the next six months of dave strider junior's high school career are absolute hell

actually hc that dave senior goes by d strider professionally. the d stands for a lot of things

aradia and dave frequent a lot of the same forums but never end up really interacting

meanwhile karkat and john frequent a lot of the same forums and DEFINITELY end up interacting. this turns into grudging (at least on karkat's part) friendship after they find themselves fighting for their lives defending an objectively shitty movie together on the same thread

[kanohivolitakk]

Some ramblings about Memory and why I’m happy it wasn’t canonized

Honestly the more I think about the story, the happier I am that Memory (a winner of the Memories of the Dead canonization contest) was never officially canonized. And Im saying this as someone who absolutely adores Nidhiki as a character and would've liked to see more content of him, especially one that explores his psyche in a nuanced manner.

Before we go on a few disclaimers. First off, yes, I'm aware that Memory is fan-made and that some people see critiquing fanfics as bad, at the very least unless the author personally requested it. And I completely understand that sentiment given that fanfics are hobbies and the writers may not always want critique on stuff they worked on for personal fun and passion. Thing is, Memory was not only submitted to a canonization contest, but was one of the winners. The only reason it (and the other winners of the contest) weren't canonized was because Greg wasn't allowed to visit BZPower anymore (or had it to do with LEGO quitting Bionicle g1 completely in preparation for g2, don't remember tbh). In other words, Memory was this close getting canonized, and was only left out due to external circumstances. That makes criticizing Memory fair game in my opinion.

Secondly: I actually like Memory as a story. It's well written, explores Nidhikis character in an interesting way and has a really interesting theme of how some individuals are forced into roles they didn't want to by circumstance. I think it fills in gaps from the lore nicely (especially the ending). And not only does the story use Mimic (a Dark Hunter I desperately wish was used in canon) it characterizes and uses him rather well. Him acting as a pararell/comparasion to Nidhiki is a solid way to showcase the storys central theme. All in all, it's a solid story in vacuum. Even as part of the larger Bionicle mythos I do like some elements of it and have adopted them into my headcanonverse.

That being said, I have one major issue with the story specifically regarding how it relates to the greater Bionicle canon. And that is, giving Nidhiki a "my original teammates were killed by Dark Hunters and now I desire revenge" type of backstory doesn't work for his character and arguably makes him less interesting.

First off, I understand why the writer chose to do this decision, to paint Nidhiki in a more sympathetic light. In canon, Nidhiki isn't really a sympathetic character (or at the very least wasn't intended to be one, ymmv whether or not he can be seen as one). He is selfish and his reason for betraying toa Mangai boils down to desire for glory and self-preservation. So wanting to give Nidhiki a more sympathetic backstory in order for the reader to understand why he is like that and thus sympathizing with him makes sense especially given how Bionicle doesn’t really have that many sympathetic villains to begin with and Nidhiki is one of the few who could easily be written in a more sympathetic light without making his character worse thanks to his backstory being rather tragic and there being a few hints of him being a more sympathetic character than the canon presents.

Thing is, by giving Nidhiki a desire of wanting revenge against Dark Hunters, I feel the writer misses a major part of Nidhikis character, one that could be easily expanded on to make him a more sympathetic and understandable character: his pragmatic opportunism born out of survival instinct.

Nidhiki is largely driven by pragmatism and self-preservation, by making actions that benefit him. This sense of pragmatism most likely comes from him coming from Tren Krom Peninsula: a harsh climate where you had to be pragmatic in order to survive. Pretty much everything from his characterization boils down to this survival instinct, this desire to survive taught by harsh living conditions. This is the core of his characterization and something worth keeping in mind  both when trying to understand him and writing him. And while the writer of   Memory does understand this to some extent, I feel they only saw it as part of his character rather than the main core of his characterization and driving force of his actions.

While Nidhiki loosing his teammates does add more fuel into him not trusting anyone and developing this pragmatic mindset (something Memory does pretty good job showcasing), I also feel that it's kinda unnecessary. It feels as if it exists as this big push, this big traumatic event that shaped Nidhiki's mindset into this pragmatic self-survival we see in canon and I just...don't feel that suits him. It makes more sense if rather than one big traumatic event that made him what he was it was a series of smaller events, it was him living in a place with a certain mental climate that forced a certain mindset just so he could survive.

The backstory also feels that like it exists largely to give Nidhiki a history with and grudge against the Dark Hunters which just...doesn't make sense at all when you give more context into canon. Like, if Nidhiki had a grudge against them I doubt he would've interacted with Lariska the way he did in BOADH let alone agreed to betray his team, no matter how good opportunity it felt like. Well at least it gives him one more reason to despise TSO and his organization and that’s always a plus if you ask me.

However,the main reason I don't really like this is because it feels kinda cliche and makes Nidhiki less interesting than he could be. Like, it feels that the easiest way to make your audience to sympathize with a villain is to give them a tragic backstory of them loosing a loved one that made them bitter and cynical. It just feels like a cop-out, an easy shorthand. It feels such "been there done that" and does more harm than good for Nidhikis characterization, feels like its there to make him more sympathetic through tried and true means than actually trying to understand him and what makes him tick, and building up a more sympathetic portrayal from there.

What makes this all worse is that I do think you could make Nidhiki a more sympathetic character without resorting to cliche tools like that. And thats by focusing on expanding on whats already there: his desire for survival and self-preservation. While it does make him rather selfish, its also what makes him understandable and (for lack of better term) real. While we want to talk about how self-righteous and good we are, truth is that desire for self-preservation and survival is a driving force that can override (or at the very least heavily affect) our moral compass, especially if you come from a traumatic upbringing. And like I said, the harsh survival of the fittest nature of T.K Peninsula certainly was that kind of place where Nidhiki was essentially forced to adapt a certain mindset. It’d be cool to see him slowly develop this mindset from the environment he grew up in, to have whatever potential goodness and optism he once had be eroded through him having to come in terms with the messed up nature of the world. it would’ve made him much more interesting, sympathetic and tragic character than he is in canon, all while feeling unique

That being said, I understand why the writer did the way they did. Like I said, Nidhiki isn’t exactly the most sympathetic character in canon, and wanting to give him a backstory that’s easy to sympathize with is an easy and good way to do that. It’s also worth pointing out that Memory was an oneshot, so the writer didn’t have time to go through everything Nidhiki went through before becoming part of Toa Mangai and as such, it’s easy to understand why the writer choose to give one big event that changed his mindset. I also dont think giving Nidhiki revenge motive is inherently bad (I mean its basically canon he wanted revenge against Lhikan), nor is making him more emotional and not just a pragmatic opportunist (if anything making him emotional is more than welcome in this house). But I feel that Memory just kinda, changes his character in such a drastic way that didn't sit with me, at least not completely. It kinda makes him an archetypical "I'm aloof and refuse to work with others because I lost my friends against these villains" type of character. Not only is that rather cliche that's also not what Nidhiki is like...He's more interesting as an opportunist who became such due to the harsh nature of Tren Krom Peninsula rather than your archetypical edgy shonen anime rival whos aloof because tragic backstory murder.

So yeah, Memory is a good story but I’m happy it isn’t canon because while it was an interesting take of my favorite Bionicle character, it being canon would’ve done more harm than good for his characterization as whole I feel. Also you can make a character sympathetic without having to resort to “they saw someone close to them die and desire revenge because of that”, especially when it doesn’t fit to that characters characterization as whole.

[kaonite]

Can we hear about your Misraaks headcanons pls?

hahahaaha ahah okay so this turned more into picking him apart rather than headcanons but i mixed them in there ::3 (im so sorry, i cannot be coherent at all and gushed profusely. i promise my writing is way different than the way i type this out.)

for some reason it wont let me add tags??? so i hope no one is upset by that!

-misraaks doesnt know how to be 'normal' per say, barring the fact he IS an alien(this goes with my super personal headcanon that the wolves just breed some ODD eliksni. 110% there’s something SUPER up with the wolves (or gentle weavers) as a whole. there's something in the ether turning the wolves into human simps) and is just a weird guy? Who 'turns their back' on their own without being a little fucking odd? i mean if i saw a almost 7ft tall lady and she dragged me away from my attempted suicide (thats some baggage already) and offered peace in a my cultures way id rethink my ideals too (theres more to it i know but humor me!) Also unlearning ALL you've been taught was rough and trying but he was a young mind and to be honest... that's probably for the best (no doubt sjur did use him against the wolves but i really feel their friendship was genuine, full of a lot of love and respect after he stopped being an angsty vandal with unresolved mommy issues)

-he puts on this show of being strong and unyielding but if he trusts you he just crumbles and is bare to the bone about everything. misraaks isn't afraid of being honest per say, he may come off brash but he's just telling it like it is... no sense in beating around the bush. he's not an asshole but being raised the way he was uh... some tact had be learned. 

-no no no it's not bc his mother may have been strict and terrifying to some degree so he has to be the strongest  or he feels he'll fail everyone he knows. so when someone breaks down his walls he's just a soft, sappy individual who just wants everyone to have a peaceful life together while trying to be strong for everyone else at his own mental expense. hes so passionate, charismatic and driven even with all the odds stacked against him, the fucking STRENGTH in that. (DREG STRENGTH GO! even tho he's not a dreg u get my meaning, everyone so far has deemed him as such) what a king! ❤ (praksis u call him foolish again i'll break every one of the generators in your lab)

-brings me to my next headcanon that the nightmare in the moon, horkis? Is his mother and all the teachings that she and others brought upon him as a child up until meeting sjur concentrated into one being. that if he doesn't bleed for the cause, die for the cause, then he has failed his people.  OOPS! IT'S ALL DEEP SEATED TRAUMA! 

-also headcanon she was the one to dock him? to make it extra good when he thinks back on her in the misraaks lore tab 

(I normally don't slander moms bc damn if anyone slandered my mom id throw hands but bungie gave me the scraps and im working with them and misraaks seemed like he had a pretty standard, though super strict, upbringing ::) )

-he appears haughty, self-assured and a bit cold though that's just how he projects himself... he's not actually that way? I mean, hes pretty calm and collected. he expresses a deep  loyalty and love for Sjur and cares for his fireteam immensely. He trusted his fireteam enough to take them to her resting place, how is that not vulnerability we otherwise don't really see? 

He'd throw down for his friends and loved ones because that's just how Eliksni ARE. kin is everything, even friends. he just has a different way of showing it. 

-misraaks... okay i have to say he's into poetry, or talking poetically. the way he speaks is almost... romantic (not in a bad or spicy way!) i just know that boy really SPEAKS in such an eloquent, thoughtful sense. there's a lot of meaning and love in his words. he doesn't just SAY things to fill the silence. every word has a meaning, a purpose. i love that about him. 

-okay maybe i headcanon his fireteam being all around goofballs with him at times of respite, softening out his sharp edges. making him loosen up and enjoy the little things in life rather than worrying about the bigger picture. (bungie where's that getting drunk with his fireteam lore tab? i would like to see it. you have it with the yw and crow... it's the least you could do for the misraaks stans...) i just feel its hard for him to sit and do nothing, just to fool around, be a "normal person" due to the fact his whole life up to his moment of wanting to create house light has been death and war. He was MADE for war. it'd be hard for him to adjust to a 'happier' existence without a little prodding

-he doesn't care about glory, or is doing what he does for selfish gain. he genuinely just wants to help, to create peace. so if anyone approached him with the kell of kells title he'd promptly tell them to shove it (sorry misraaks... you're in the same boat with the young wolf... you can't escape your destiny)

-can we talk about how much misraaks unlearned from sjur then YEARS later is with dusk, meets the young wolf (that annoying bastard of a guardian! :) ), they spare him then it seems like something unlocks in him. like we were the final catalyst to his dreams being real. no longer did he want to be canon fodder, or use his crew as such, he wanted to lead... to be better, to do better for his people along the guardians. maybe he could be better than just another solider dying for a cause they didn't even know at that point. he could be everything his kind rallied against and be GREATER than he was taught to be , not stepping on those deemed less than him. his MIND 

-can i just shoehorn something in real quick. I don't believe he'd practice docking after everything. I just can't see it and i always see him having trauma around docking so why would he wish that on others as a treatment under his kellship? It took him A LONG ASS TIME to unlearn how fucked up it is and how their society as whole is (ie. he literally fantasized about his mother docking him. how is that not absolutely insane to hear?)  also it'd be useless at this point, he'd need people at their prime, not missing two arms for an old, unnecessary dark practice. he doesn’t want people to fear him, if your people fear you are you truly a leader?

*cuts this ask open with a knife and lets loose a character interpretation more than headcanons* OOPS

am i projecting? maybe but bungie gave me crumbs and i am going to use them

im holding back a bunch of thoughts bc most of them center around much more personal headcanons bc this is my emotional support eliksni :') plus ive written so much already im pretty sure you all think im insane.

If anyone has anything to add feel free! Id love to hear it, you may have some ideas/headcanons/interpretations i didn't list or i never though of! of course... most of this is projecting, who doesn't do that to their fave?

and honestly, i am so open to talking about him in depth, if you want to, shoot me a message! I'll get to it! :3