#i know that my dad got the simpsons movie dvd from a friend of his. don’t know why. we never watched the simpsons

[inlovewithaspiderguy]

every so often I rewatch this and try not to cry with laughter

[popculturebuffet]

Top 12 Christmas Episodes!

Merry Christmas Eve Everybody! We’ve reached the end of my christmas reivews and what not on this blog. 

But as a wise barrel chested canadian man once said, I fucking love christmas, So if i’m finishing up the holiday on my blog I want to go big and stay home. So in honor of the holiday, my memories of it and just how GREAT it makes me feel i’m counting down my top 12 christmas specials! After last year’s worst of list I really wanted to do the oppsiite.. but it was naturally a lot harder. Shows usually put a LOT of effort into their christmas outings, even the ones who do so once a year, so the good FAR FAR OUTWEIGHS THE BAD. To show the contrast I could only find like.. 8 I was comfortable with putting on the worst list and even some of them aren’t that bad just not good. With the best of list? I had over 60 considered and even once I started narrowing down.. it was still around 30 or 40 REALLY GOOD specials I had to work down into this list. It took a lot of work and up to the last one it was really HARD to cut it down this far. But this is the best of the best of the best of the best of the.. you get the bit. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover and this review was already supposed to come out on christmas eve, so, since I won’t be able to use this for another year...

Er. Top 12 Christmas Specials.

12. Merry Christmas Johnny Rose (Schitt’s Creek) So I finally watched all of Schitt’s Creek this year.. and i’m kicking myself for not powering through it’s terrible starting decent ending first season earlier because the show is easly one of the best comedies of the last decade and rightly earned it’s emmy sweep this year. Heartfelt, hilarious, and starring some of the best names old and new in comedy, the show is really great and I recommend checking it out.. just again be aware the first few episodes are not very good and if it wasn’t vital to the rest of the show story wise, i’d just recommend skippping season 1. While the characters minus patriach Johnny are insuferable at first... it’s their growing from self absorbed assholes to still self abosrbed but really good and decent people that is the beating heart of the show. And no where more is this heart on the show’s sleve than at christmas time as this episode is baked in just how far our cast have come.

The episode centers on Johnny Rose, played by Eugene Freaking Levy who co created the show with his equally talented son Dan who desrves the lion’s share of the credit for the show’s upturn in quality. Since the Roses used to have big lavish christmas parties once a year, Johnny decides to throw the equilvent of what they can do on a budget at the Motel they all live in. But his family all has other plans with daughter Alexis, now happily with Ted again, meeting his friends for the first time, son David, played by Dan Levy, busy at his store with his partner, in both senses, patrick and his wife Moira having a performance with her acapella group. At first it just comes off as something typical of johnny: Something well meaning and what not but ultimatley just not something his family is into or that he planend well for.

It’s only when Johnny finds himself alone at the local diner with Moira coming to see him we find out why he’s REALLY doing this: the old lavish parties, which we see one of at the start.. ultimately ended up with him alone, sad and everyone off to their own corners. WIth the family having actually come together over the past 4 seasons, Johny simply wanted to celebrate that and says such in one of the best moments in the entire show and with one hell of a line.

"I just thought, in spite of all the hardship, we found ourselves coming together, the kids, you and me, as a family. And it just seemed like the perfect day to celebrate that. The perfect day for a Rose Family Christmas Party." But Moira has already taken care of it and thus takes JOhnny home to find all their friends and the rest of the family gathered, wtih the Jazzagals serandading eveyrone with a beautiful rendition of silent night. It’s just a warm, well done character piece that really fits the holiday while also really cementing what the show had become: a show not afraid to make dirty jokes or humilatie it’s cast but one that has a true sweetness to it. It’s only that the first half’s jokes don’t quite pop all that well and feel a bit at johnny’s expense that holds it back. Otherwise this is one i’ll be coming back to every year.

11. Father of the Bob (Bob’s Burgers) Bob’s Burgers is a damn great show i’m season’s behind on. Warm, charming, weird and with an expansive side cast played by a whos who of whose in comedy today. It’s a damn fine show and i’m happy it seems to have manatained it’s quality long after the simpsons and family guy lost theirs. And the show really loves christmas.. and halloween.. and valentine’s day.. and thanksgiving. Oh god does it love thanksgiving. Point is, the shows good at holiday episodes and loves doin em and has produced some stellar ones and I had a lot to pick from here.. but I ended up going with my gut and my personal faviorite. It’s not the most christmasy despite the trappings, but the character work is just too good to leave it out in the cold.  It’s Christmas Eve and the Belcher’s are visiting Bob’s Dad. As you can tell by the fact the most we’ve seen of him is a picture of his restraunt, big bob’s diner in the belcher’s living room and a flashback where he told bob to work instead of play as a kid that set off an episode’s plot, they don’t have the best relationship. Bob has a firm rule about not spending more than 15 minutes with his dad, as that’s the point they run out of things to talk about and his dad starts getting overcrytical and making jabs at bob’s life and restraunt. Linda, being Linda, decides to meddle and when she finds out Big Bob’s short order cook is missing, has our Bob fill in.  But as we see in flash backs it’s not THAT easy to repair things, as there’s a long, bitter history between the two: When a youngbob made his first unique burger and served it to a customer, his dad threw it out without even letting anyone taste it. He then offered bob a partnership when bob was a young man but Bob snapped at Big Bob in front of his friends and left to make burgers his own way, leading to where we are now. And honestly i’ts the perfect origin story for Bob and adds a lot of shades to his character. He’s obessed with the restraunt not just because he genuinely loves cooking but because it’s HIS. His place, to create creative burgers, his family and his regulars. It’s his corner of the sky. It makes the restraunt’s existance and surivvial that much more heartwarming to know the meaning behind it.

Naturally things end up blowing up with Bob pointedly serving the burger to make a point and Big bob walking out angrily and sadly. It takes bob’s gift from the kids, who had their own neat subplot of making gifts for bob in the basement, a snowglobe wrapped in newspaper.. to find out hsi dad kept the newspaper with the review of his first restraunt and kept ALL reviews of Bob’s Burgers. Despite being a stone faced critical ass on the outside, Big BOb STILl cared.. and bob relizes he needs to make amends and actually make an effort instead of just avoiding his dad or gettin gback at him. And through the power of gay club next door line dancing, and nick offerman whose a wonderful guest star here, the two reconcile with Bob admitting he shouldn’t of humilatied his dad even if he had to go his own way, and Big Bob admitting he’s hard to work with, the loss of his wife hit him hard, and he was a bit too much. The two hug, and it’s genuinely just a good, well done story of father and son that somehow gives even more dimension to Bob, an already pretty damn fleshed out character. Just a really great episode whose holiday timing makes it better.. though not being AS much a holiday episode as a really good bob’s burgers that’s enhanced by it is why this one’s so low. Next!

10. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (MST3K) I”m honestly surpised i’ts taken me THIS long to get to something MST3K related. I’ve loved the show since high school, first exposed to it thanks to a dvd from the library and continuing from there to present day. I love the show’s combination of riff’s on perfectly cheesy movie and fun skits with really good puppets especially for the budget. It’s just good comfort food in show form and no where is comfort food more welcome than christmas, and each era of MST3K, so far hopefully the show will come back again eventually, has had i’ts own damn good christmas special, with this being my faviorite out of the three. 

The other two are good: ironically I have a poster for the santa claus over my computer, or rather crow and tom as santa and pitch aka satan respectively. Yes really, that’s the premise. IT is as awesome and batshit insane as it sounds. Point is I like that one and year without a santa claus, this one just has more personal warmth to me. I jus tlove the holiday feeling of joel and the bots readying for christmas in the host segments. It just feels like christmas and it’s wonderful to see the bots act like kids.  That being said.. it’s still also fucking hilaroius, with the mad’s hilariously petty wish squisher, a device that turns good gifts into socks and other unwanted presents, the best Crow T Robot quote of all time as he gives joel his santa wish

And of course, one of the best and most patently insane christmas songs ever: Have Yourself a Patrick Swayze christmas, which has become oddly sweet after his death and got me to watch road house for the first time last year... and it’s as awesome and wonderfully rediclous as this song inspiried by it and even better once you get the refrences

But while the host segments are what push this film into the list, the movie is still a delightful bit of 60′s cheese as, to restore their children to being children, a couple of martians kidnap santa to bring christmas to mars. Fights iwth robots, an asshole martian and an obnoxious sidekick named droppo, yes really, insue. IT’s just some fun cheese for the holiday and a staple of my holidays. 

9. The Three Wise Men (Letterkenny)  It’s no secret Letterkenny has quickly become one of my faviorite shows. After watching it last January, it’s become part of my being and one of my go too feel good shows, a funny as hell, uniquely weird slice of life show set in rural canada. While like it’s fellow recent legend of canadian television Schitt’s creek it’s first season CAN be a bit rough.. but it’s not as rough and getting through it is worht it as the show immiedatly picked up and became one of the funniest things to ever exist. It’s also uniquely tied to christmas as every year a season of the show has dropped on that day on it’s home streamer Crave TV in canada, and on boxing day here in the us. So it’s only fitting the show also has a REALLY great christmas special. 

It’s Christmas eve and our heroes the hicks, are having a christmas party. For the uniniated the hick’s aren’t really all that “hick” ish just hardworking farmers who still accept everybody and work damn hard. Leading man, terse talker and certified badass Wayne is suprisingly really into christmas, as he spent pretty much every holiday spouting out inacuracies about it but this day? He genuienly enjoys, even insiting on awful holiday drinks only and a midnight toast, the titular three wiseman (Canadian, irish and American Whiskeys, one shot of each). “It’s tradition”.  And thanks to tradition we get the main gag of the episode: most of the episode is wayne calling in various members of the town, most of whom he dosen’t like very much and some who deeply annoy him, to give them presents. And  while i’ve admitted to being a guy who dosen’t like a plot that basically repeats itslef.. it works here.. mostly because while the setup is the same, each member provides something new and hilarious: while it starts innocently enough with Bonnie Mcmurray, local fanservice, nice lady and fangirl of wayne, getting a camera and offering to be an elf, an offer wayne is forced to take up, it soon becomes a parade of weirdness and bullshit Wayne really dosen’t want to put up with and that really makes me laugh hard: Local loveable sex maniac and bar owner Gail goes on for a good minute about her sexual antics with Wayne’s beloved departed uncle eddie after Wayne gives him a picture of the guy, Glenn, another of wayn’es unwanted admirers and local pastor, obsesses over a christmas themed digeredoo, local druggies and emos the skids intitally refuse to open their gift out of prinicpal until wayne simply asks “What if theres drugs in it” (It’s insted vitamin d), the local hockey coach sings a hilarious and gloriously cringe song about having sex with his wife when they were alive and the hockey players make wayne uncomfortable both by crying a bit. Also tanis gets an apron. 

But even if the reactions horrify or piss off our hero into needing his elf’s help, the heart is in the fact that despite hating most of these people, he still got them a gift and one that’s hearfelt and well meaning. And naturally the sweetest is saved for his family of choice with the hicks: Squirrely Dan gets a pencil case for his oft talked about women’s studies class, Dary gets some clonge since he wears his barn clothes everywhere, and Katy gets an obscure korean christmas movie since her subplot that episode had been spent trying to get a christmas movie going, only for everyone to pick it apart: from the racisim of santa and co towards rudolph to pointing out how profoundly fucked up the premise of the santa claus is (including the fact various serial killers could’ve gotten the suit), which I agree with, it’s just a sweet gesture that shows how well he knows his friend. Overall it’s just a fun hangout of an episode that feels like a real christmas party and in these troubling times we could all use that. Now let’s all have a spit.

8. The Feast of Alvis (Sealab 2021) Another Christmas staple for me.. and a gloriously strange one at that. This time we’re checking under the sea with Sealab 2021, one of the earliest adult swim shows and the blueprint for the abriged series format, it took a dry hannah barbara show about an underwater research station and remixed it into the antics of a bunch of idiots and lunatatics throughuly unequipped for the task. Except Dr. Quinn, the only sane person aboard.. most of the time. It was comedy gold courtsey of Adam Reed, creator of the later Frisky Dingo, a throughly underated show, and Archer, which is like Frisky Dingo but refined into it’s truest and most sucessful form. It was magical and just talking about it makes me want to talk about it again at some point, probably in a best of list.  So naturally this madcap energy was perfect for the holidays. Originally the crew planned to use ACTUAL religions for this, but were forced by network to change it.. which ended up being one of those cases where the network ended up actually making the right call as the creators instead created thinly veiled substute for the various religions... and centered it around Alavanism, which is christianity.. but if christ was instead born in the us at some point, and instead of being a pacifist, was a drunken beligernt gun loving redneck who shot a guy in the face, has “vengance is mine” as one of his quotes (from said face shooting) and still had pomp and circumstance as part of his holiday.  Helping this though is our Alvian for the evening is Captain Murphy, the series best character and often the center of it’s best moments, played by the wonderful and sadly late Harry Goz, a half crazed half chidlish cloud cuckoolander who often comes off like a demanding child in an old man’s body. So naturally this holiday is for him and even more naturally he’s holding a massive alvis day cermeony that’s as batshit as he and his religion are in the main deck: he’s got buffalo, a buffet that’s deeply unsanitary, and a hallogen light mimickign the alvistide star that he wants to plop a baby under.  Naturally no one else is happy about this. Well Stormy, local hilarious dumbass, is as the only other alvian on board for this, and a general sucker for dumb shenanigans but he’s so plastared he’s even less coherent than usual and can mostly muster the desire to kick something’s ass or a weak “shut up” Most of all Quinn and his girlfriend debbie, who point out religious tolerance is a part of the sealab charter and that this kind of grotesuqe celebration really isn’t in season. I’ts also a nice dig at “War on Christmas Assholes”, long before that was as big a problem with Muprhy very much being the asshole and his cleebration rapidly crumbling. He also attempts to fire Sparks for being a wiccan stand in so yeah he deserves it. It’s all capped in Muprhy getting visted by a drunken halucination of his lord. All in all easily one of the best and most insane christmas specials ever put to film. If you have HBO Max watch it today or tommorow you will NOT regret it. 

7. Arnold’s Christmas (Hey Arnold)  A classic of my childhood, Hey Arnold is one of the best animated shows period. It’s something i’m not shy about saying, I bleivie I said it in my thanksgiving list and i’ll say it quite a bit. It’s not PERFECT, it has it’s flaws.. but it’s still damn good and the golden standard for slice of life shows. 

This episode naturally is one of it’s best and, while I didn’t catch as a kid the signifigance or what this was about, touches on of all things the vietnam war and the children who were helicoptered out. In a heart destroying story, Mr. Winn, one of Arnold’s boardinghousemates, reveals he has a daughter he has no idea where she is as to give her a better life, he made sure she got on one of those helicopters as an infant. While he was able to immigrate later, he never found her. Arnold being our own personal jesus, refuses to let this stand and goes out of his way to figure it out and goes on a quest that seemingly ends in failure. It falls on Helga to save the day as Helga actually gets what she wanted from her parents, a pair of nice boots, and gets the rare moment where they actually acknoledge her.. but loving arnold and seeing the noblility in his quest.. she gives it up. Just to make someone elses’ dream come true. He may never know who did it and tha’ts okay. An utterly heartwarming and heartbreaking episode. Nuff said. 

6. Santa Claus is Comin To Town  Speaking of classics this is how you do a santa origin story. Not the first or last i’d see, and we’ll get to one of those in a moment. While i’m not a huge fan of Rankin Bass’ other big hit with Rudolph, this one really hits the spot for me and is only this low because it’s pacing is really slow at points. Otherwise this special is near flawless, looks good and holds up today.  As I said this is a good Year One for santa establishing how he became immortal, how he met the elves, he was raised by them, how he started giving out toys, how he met mrs claus you know all the stuff you’d ask about.  To me what really sells it the best though is Mickey Rooney as Santa. While I had no idea who played him till literally writing this article in my mind his earnesness, kindness and genuine nature just.. fit the old elf to me even as a young man and everything from his humble beginings to his wanting to help children just out of kindness to his teaching an old man to dance to his romance just feels.. genuine and warm like christmas should. It just makes me feel good and like others on this list.. FEELS like christmas if that makes any sense. Not a lot else to say. Burger Meister Meisterburger isn’t the best vilian, but it was the early 70′s and we weren’t quite to diamond levels of complex interesting villians just yet so fair enough. Baiscally I don’t have a TON to say about this special in short, I may review it next year, we’ll see, but  it’s really good, really fun and sometimes simple just works I guess? Speaking of stop motion..

5. Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas (Community) I love a good sitcom. I haven’t shared that love enough on here, I should try and change that at some point, but I do, as a fourth of this list should make crystal clear. So while sadly some of my faviorites like Brooklyn Nine Nine, Parks and Rec and Roseanne didn’t make the cut, Community thankfully did. Community is a show that’s really damn good and had THREE awesome Christmas episodes. All three, all winners and all in contention for some time. Regional Holiday music just barely didn’t make the cut. But ultimately I went with the best of the best, the most creative, most character driven, and most intresting. And the one that in Community’s traditional style, decided to take a spin on an old genre.  In this case Abed, the study groups resident pop culture junkie, guy who thinks in tropes and future Huey Duck, is seeing everything in stop motion and may get thrown out of school as a result. With his friends deeply worried, they turn to Greendale’s local psychologist and british areshole Professor Duncan, played by my spirtual father John Oliver. ALL HAIL THIS MAN

Duncan takes the two into Abed’s fantasy and thus into a rankin bass special where Abed slowly weeds out his friends and tries to get rid of Duncan, whose naturally only intrested in proving a case. It’s a fun, chaotic ride including christmas pterodactyls, and the cast all in bizzare forms based on what Abed thinks of htem. it’s really damn creative and beauitfully animated at that.  Naturally like most of these what clinches it is the heart and soul. We find out towards the end WHy this happened: Abed’s mom is spending christmas with her new family instead of him and it’s broken him to not be able to watch specials like they do> Thus the group rally behind their friend, beat duncan in a wonderful christmas number and watch specials with their buddy, as the weird ass family some of whom have or will make out, they are. 

4. A Charlie Brown Christmas With my love of comic strips and sentiment, it should suprise absolutely no one this is on here. I love peanuts and have only grown to love it more over hte years for it’s mealancholy, finely constructed cast and weird bits people forget about like Snoopy’s disco phase, that really damn good arc where his house burned down, his brother stealing his fiance only to have her stolen from him, the fact Lucy threw Linus out once, that peppermint patty was once held back a grade and her snores took her place at her desk, the fact there was a character named 5, Charlie Brown and Linus’ friend roy who introduced peppermint patty to the cast, the fact a character named crybaby boobie exists, the fact there are specials devoted to a pastiche of call of the wild, a friend of linus’ getting cancer, and Flashbeagle. Just flashbeagle. 

It is glorious. And I really need to add that to my review queue.. maybe for late january. Seriously, tis glorious. And I OWN this one. So yeah. What were we talking about? Oh yes the special that made all the specials, especially flashbeagle, possible: A Charlie Brown Christmas This one has always been part of my life, but even beyond it’s signifigance to me, having grown up with it and grafted it to my soul, it’s just .. good. It has some good commentary on the consumrisim of the holiday with Charlie Brown rightly a bit upset about it and ending up roped into directing a christmas play. Great gags, and charlie brown trying to stick up for a scragly tree no one enlse likes insue. Oh and scripture as this is probably the only overtly religious special on the list. Not that ther’es anything wrong with not being religious and celebrating christmas: i’m not anymore but I still do and while I respect people who celebrate the holiday int he spirit of christ I have none for people who bash anyone who dosen’t just see it religiously and whose over zealous about it. Your just as bad as war on christmas people and you should feel bad.  But yeah overal it’s just an inconic special whose clunkyness in production and audio just adds some charm to it. It shows it’s age.. but only in the animation and production values, which is just.. charming. It’s message is timeless, it’s characterization is perfect as you’d expect from peanuts in it’s prime, and i’ts ending is truly heartmelting. If you’ve never seen this one.. just go do that. I can wait. 

3. How Santa Stole Christmas! (Ducktales)  I”ll be brief on this one as, since it only aired a few weeks ago, i’ve already done a full review on it. But I will justify why such a recent special is this high up: because it’s just that good. It may of JUST been aired, but it’s as good as anything else here and age dosen’t matter. Quality does. There will likely be future specials worth this list i’m sure but for this moment in time this one earns it. It has Santa perfectly charactrized and tells an utterly heartrending story of friendship that ends up ending simply because the two are moving in opposite directions and of Scrooge learning the meaning of christmas. Not thorugh the ghosts, they already brilliantly messed with that one. It’s just really fantastic, gets the christmas spriit perfectly and uses the characters just as flawlessly. I will defintely be watching this one every year. Just a warm, creative, funny as hell special. 

2. Comfort and Joy (Justice League) Speaking of reviews I held off reviews of my final two so I could save more thoughts here. I probably still will review them eventually, especially this one, I just felt i’d be repeating myself or have to be brief like the last one. But yeah this one slaps. The Justice League cartoon is easily one of the best superhero cartoons, if not superhero properties, period. Taking the base already built in from the previous three dcau cartoons, this one builds out the world and expands it , and introduced a young me to my lifelong loves of Martian Manhunter, The Flash and especailly the green lanterns with John Stewarts badass reciting of the oath easily etched in my brain. The only reason he isn’t my faviorite lantern is because mogo exists.. aka the lantern that is a living planet. 

You can see why. But yeah Jon stuck in my mind. So it’s probably no suprise that the christmas special heavily featuring all three. It’s Christmas Time and after the league stops it’s usual disaster, they head off for their usual holiday activities. Batman and Wonder Woman are missing, but it’s fine. While I love both, especailly DCAU Batman, the episode is probably better off not trying to shove them in there just for the sake of it. One of the show’s greatest strength’s was character ballance, not forcing EVERY member of the big 7 into every episode and just using whose needed and shuffling them in and out FAR BETTER than say, Ducktales. Point is this, much like being loved by anyone, was not unusual and it makes the episode tighter. Even more so since this is the ONLY half hour episode in the first two seasons, the rest are basically hour long episodes split into two parters, though still paced for being two episodes so it’s good.. and three movie length three parters for the premire, and the season finales. Fun Fact: As a kid I missed starcrossed and thus had to find out second hand, and barely at that, why hawkgirl was gone at the start of unlimited. I still have not seen it. I will correct this eventually. It was a diffrent time. 

So yeah this episode not only has a main character cast of 6, with 3 other major supporting characters, but is handily split into three amazing plot lines. The first has Green Lantern try to teach Hawkgirl how to have christmas fun by playing on a snowy world, while Hawkgirl takes him to a bar to show how she celebrates.. i.e. getting hammered and starting a fight. Nanananana, she’s gonna start a fight. It’s a fun really sweet segment, and some nice ship tease between the two.  The other two though are what make this special.. not that the first one is bad these two are just really inspiried for the characters involved: For the Flash, who in this series is both Wally and a bit of a smug quipster.. we see beneath the ego and flirting he’s really a sweet, caring guy and spends his christmas finding a toy for the orphans in this case a rapping duck. 

Not QUITE as embarassing btu close. He runs into the Ultra Humanite whose destroying the toys because he hates the comercialism and how it dumbs things down for the kids. Have I mentioned that I love the Ultra Humanite? Because I do.. the animated version. The comics version is REALLY fucking creepy but this version? He’s fucking great, an intellectual whose a formidable threat.. and honestly sympathetic. His motive here, while misguided, is well meaning and his price for selling out the injustice gang and going back to jail quitely? one of the best gags in human history. Getting PBS to say “This program was supported by viewers like you.. and the ultra humanite” He’s just awesome and i’ts a shame he never returned for unlimited. His comic version, while not BAD is just.. not NEARLY as intresting or deep and I wish the comics would have him take after this version.  And that depth shows as once he learns what was going on, he willingly helps flash and simply reprograms the duck to recite the nutcracker. It’s a really nice gesture, that flash returns by giving his foe a christmas tree. Really good stuff.  And I saved the best for last. Heading home for the holidays, Clark takes Jonn with him since otherwise he’d be stuck at the watchtower and batman was apparnetly “Begging” for duty. Granted one wonders what his surrogate dad and adopted sons think but odds are alfred would just drag them up there anyway no mater how much Dick protested. And of course Alfred has watchtower clearance, he’s alfred: he’s the only one besides Diana looking out for bruce.. and no I don’t buy the bullshit from the batman beyond comics that never happened. And Clark too, this is true... but it takes a village to get bruce to go the fuck to sleep and most of that villiage is alfred. And if your wondering “wait won’t he be in danger”... the only thing that can kill this man is apparently bane. He’s survivied earthquakes, poisonings, turning into a supervillian via radaition induced crazies, yes really, apparently dying leading to the supervillian thing, being stabbed, being shot at, having to help raise damien... my point is the guy’s been through a lot in comics, I doubt the dcau version is any less resilent and god damn I miss this old man. Salute alfred, salute.  Where was I oh yeah, Clark insists on taking John home. And it’s stuff like this why I freaking love superman. Many dismiss him as corny, unrelaistic or boring.. all untrue. Sure he’s a boyscout, but he’s meant ot resprsent the best in mankind, what we can truly be powers or no, what we can achieve and the kind of moral, kind person we can be. He’s an inspiration for us all. And this kind of act is what shows that: his response to one of his friends having nowhere to go on christmas and not having been around the holiday? Take him to his house to share in the warmth and love.  And Clark’s parents here show WHY he’s the hero he is and why I freaking love them in all flavors.. except Zack Snyder flavor and even then tha’ts only for Pa “Letting people die is the right thing to do now i’m going to throw myself into a tornado to prove that” kent. But it’s christmas so i’m not here to bitch about zack snyder and if you want that in full, you can pay for it.  My point is they show, as they should how he became the moral paragon he is: they meet a man from mars, who they’ve never met and their son just invited.. and welcmoe him without a thought. While this isnt’ their first alien obviously, and they say so, it’s still really sweet they just warmly welcome the man in and give him their surrogate daughter/their sons’ biological cousin’s room while sh’es away. Oh Kara’s away conveniently skiing with barbra. Also she lives with them in this continuity. Also maybe that’s where dick is. I dunno, but I hope so. Dickbabs for life.. depending on the continuity. I”m still dick and star for life in the titans cartoon.  Point is we get nice of sweet, and hilaroius, holiday stuff: Jonn is suprised to see this side of clark: while he’s always warm and inviting as Clark.. he can also be relaxed, enjoy the holiday and get real spirited. For one day he dosen’t have to be superman. He can just be clark. Evne superman can take a day off.. and he’s superman, he desrves one. Let Bruce and Diana take care of it after they finish marathon sex and Diana finshes with Cheetaah and Maxwell lord.  But yeah as I was saying hilarious as we find out clark used to peak and they had to, and still do, line it with lead foil to make sure he can’t peak, and Martha gives John a sweater, saying his company is all they need for a gift and when it’s a bit big he charmingly grows into it. Jonn also walks among the humans a bit and we get a great little bit of him sneaking down a chimney after hearing the thorughts of a girl whose worried santa isn’t real. It’s just all great stuff that cumilates in Jonn joyfully singing a song in his native tounge while stroking Kara’s cat Streaky.. who sadly does not have a cape or super powers in this universe. Yet. Just a really good superhero story, a damn fine christmas story and one of the best episodes of a stellar show that thankfully is still remembered in this new age of heroes. 

1. It’s Christmas You Dorks (Harvey Beaks) Yup not probably a lot of people’s first choice but fuck it. I’ve loved this one since i saw it a few years ago shorlty after the series ended, having grown far behind and caught up just as it was ending... and regretted it as Harvey Beaks is easily one of my faviorite shows from the wall to wall hit parade that was the 2010′s. It’s charming, hilaroius, heartfelt, and creative.. and really weird if not as weird as CH Greenblaht’s previous show chowder.. but still weird enough.Thankfully Big City Greens is carying the banner for this kind of show, as is Craig of the Creek, so the kind of gentle, slice of life stuff hasn’t gone away, but this show was still it’s own thing and i’m sad it’s gone.  But while it was here it was spectacular and this is one of the best of em if not the best. And naturally for a show like this it has a neat approach: The episode is dialouge free, only having some singing in the last act and that’s diagetic, the characters singing a christmas song. We’ll get to that. This isn’t the FIRST silent christmas special i’ve seen, Courage the Cowardly dog did it’s own take on the nutcracker, but it’s still the best. And given Courage the Cowardly Dog is one of my faviorite shows, that’s high praise. Each segment is charming, unique, and well done. 

As for what each are: The wraparound is a gorgeously animated bit of stop motion or something like it where the spirit of winter goes around and turns fall to winter or helps the kid with winter fun. It’s a bunch of really adorable stuff. The first proper one is the kids having a snowball fight when a bunch of asshole adults interupt, and hte kids end up getting even by hiding in some snowmen. Again just some really fun, really well done stuff.  But the first one that really makes it follows Technobear, local wannabe ladies man in training who has a crush on Harvey’s mom and fantasies about giving her some lovely read shoes and skating with her. His hopes are dashed when instead her daughter michelle, the horrifing baby child pictured above, takes them instead. But not only is it heartwarming to see the stone faced future rule of the world crack a smile, Techno instnatly realizes whats’ improtant and takes the bby ice skating.  The next segment is just some goofy googus with the squirrels, the local crooks who are also squirreels, but it’s still pretty good. We then get Jeremy trying to be santa which is both funny but genuinely heartwarming and finally the best bit as Dade, local killjoy, gets annoyed at everyone singing a popular new christmas song instead of the old standard he likes and being a dick about it before softening a bit when Harvey genuinely offers him camradere. It’s just.. good stuff that’s hard to put into words, and given putting it into words is my thing, it really speaks to just hwo good this special is. it just, makes me feel nice, and really gets the spirit of the holiday in all it’s forms. It’s gorgeously aniamted, well paced, and never stops being entertaining and that’s why it’s both my faviorite and why every year.. i’ll be coming back to little bark. And if nothing else.. it’ll keep this warm, great show alive in my heart.  So with that I end this list. If you didn’t like it tha’ts fine, this is my opinon. But I wanted to share my faviorites with you and hope you’ll check them out this or next chirstmas. Until we meet again... Merry Christmas to all,and to all a good night. 

[adultswim2021]

Home Movies #39: “Coffins and Cradles” | May 25, 2003 - 11:00 PM | S03E13

It’s COFFINS AND CRADLES! The epic, delayed finale to Home Movies season three. Look, writing up Home Movies isn’t my favorite thing because the level of humor tends to be pretty consistent, and sometimes it’s tough to come up with things to say about it. But given the break we just had I guess I sorta missed it. I sure do like watching the goshdarn show. Don’t you?

This is is another eventful episode in the vein of season two’s finale where Brendon’s dad gets married. Speaking of him, he’s not in this, despite the fact the episode is about the birth of his own child. I guess it’s fitting given his character being a workaholic (produced by Dave Becky [Workaholics was not produced by Dave Becky, but if it were this joke would’ve been so perfect, don’t you think?]). Loren Bouchard and Brendon Small do DVD commentary for this episode and reveal that his absence was due to a scheduling issue. Perhaps that’s why this episode was so late? They also admit that they didn’t deliver this episode to the network until around Christmas time (presumably 2002), and they basically didn’t care. They run a tight ship over there at Adult Swim, don’t they?

This is a HALLOWEEN episode! Everyone is in costume for a lot of it! Mr. Lynch is a kittycat! His turn is a little cartoonish, where his obsession with being a kitty cat actually yields him crawling around on all fours and licking people, but goddamn is it funny. He eventually starts replacing random words with “meow”. McGurk finally almost has sex with Paula’s friend again, now a cult member who randomly knocks on McGurk’s door, but he suffers a heart attack while dressed like a broad. Tom Kenny is very funny as the doctor. He has an incredibly memorable gag where he is in costume wearing Groucho glasses, and when he takes them off he just looks the same only slightly less severe. There’s a lot of really good stuff in this one. Okay? get off my back!

MAIL BAG

It’s Mail Bag! We are kicking things off RIGHT with Kon, who posted on ANIME SUCKS with me and all our big dog friends (it’s a couple posts back, you go find it):

I have come around to becoming an outright anime liker, as well as, I'd like to think, a more evolved thinker overall, but man I still look back fondly at how much fun it was to hate anime and make people pissed. Even just thinking of phrases like "Inugaya" or "The Gay O" is enough to crack me up.

The GAY O is pretty good lol. It’s hilarious to think that stupid shit like this would rile people up so bad. I remember some dork with a Mario 64 avatar being like YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE, I HAVE TO USE THIS and it was just a JPG of a middle finger, and he thought he like GOT US GOOD. more like GOT US BAD.

What cartoons did you watch before adult swim. Do any of them stand the test of time? Do any of them specifically not stand the test of time. I'm not from the states so I'm curious what you guys were watching when you were younger.

Check it out I watched SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, HOME MOVIES (EPISODES 1-5), and that’s it! Nah just joshin’. I watched The Simpsons from the first episode and it basically was the most important thing in my childhood. The Critic was good, I see more cracks in it now but when it’s funny it's real funny. Duckman was mostly wonderful, real dicey humor compared to what’s considered “too rude” these days. I think I might love Duckman MORE now.

Oh yeah, Ren & Stimpy is still sorta amazing. South Park and Family Guy meant a lot to me before Adult Swim, and I’m lightly defensive of both of those shows. King of the Hill was GREAT early on. I most recently went through all of Beavis and Butt-head which goes down very smooth and is one of the only shows I can stomach “binge watching”. There’s some enormously funny stuff on that show and it’s just so soothing to watch. It’s funny to say that about a show that caused such an overblown moral panic.

Basically all the kid shit I watched sucks big time and isn’t worth revisiting seriously, but I have a soft spot for Ducktales. I just wish Disney+ had a RANDOM button, because I ain’t trying to watch every episode these days, you know?

I hope you liked that, person that is probably a friend of mine who is tricking me into typing a sincere answer so he can make fun of me during movie night

Brak has been kidnapped! He was last scene milling about town! Thundercleese said he passed his house around noon. It is now 6PM and he's not home for dinner! What are you gonna do?

I’m sorry but my daughter is in town and this is the first I’m hearing about this. My dog desperately wants to fuck her so I can’t leave them home alone together even though she is “of age”. I will call around and see what I can find out, but I can’t do much about it until tomorrow morning. But I secretly hope he is dead.

Can you do something cool when you wrap up a specific show for good. Like when you get to the last episode of Sealab or The Brak Show you say your overall peace with the show and then say: "This goose is cooked!" followed by an Encarta clipart of a goose.

Yeah I should do something like this! THIS IS A GOOD IDEA! Also I will rank every character on fuckability and do a cum tribute to the winner :D

[lovemesomesurveys]

survey by tickticktmr

What's the best food to have at a sleepover? Pizza, chips and dip, and some kind of dessert.

How did you meet the last person you shared a bed with? She’s my mom.

Do you like the yellow cheetos better or the orange ones? Yellow Cheetos?

Where did you buy the shoes you wore today? I didn’t wear any shoes today; I didn’t go anywhere.

Do you have any half siblings? My older brother is my half brother, but we’ve never referred to each other as such. He’s my brother.

How many DVD players are in the house? We just use the PS4.

Do you like the last song you heard on the radio? It’s been a few years since I’ve listened to the radio, so I don’t remember what the last song I heard was.

Do you know anyone who has been on TV? Yes. Two of my middle school teachers were on a few game shows like Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Family Feud, and some other one that I can’t remember at the moment.

When going shopping for junk food, what's the first thing you pick up? I like to get some Hostess or Little Debbie snacks now and then.

How would you react if you found out you had a long lost sister? Wow. I’d be completely shocked to say the least and have a lot of questions. It’d be such a weird feeling. I’ve always wanted a sister.

At sleepovers, do you usually stay up all night or actually go to sleep? I was always the last to fall asleep and the first to wake up. I hardly slept at all.

Is there anything in the room you're in that's really dusty? Yes. The top of my bookshelf and some stuff on another shelf of mine could use some dusting.

Do you know anybody with different colored eyes? Nope.

Are any of your relatives vets? No.

Who cleans the most in your house? My mom.

Do you own any shirts that cost over $100? No.

What about any shoes? Do you think that's a lot of money for clothes? Not $100, but close. Yeah, it’s a lot. Especially for a shirt.

What's the movie theatre in your town called? It’s a chain.

How many minutes do you consider late? Anytime after the expected time. 

Is there any jam in the fridge right now? Hm. I don’t think so, actually. 

What did you get your best friend for their last birthday? A mini Loungefly Disney backpack.

What about your mom's and dad's last birthdays? My best friend is my mom. As for my dad, I got him a couple shirts from one of his favorite sports teams.

What kinds of food do you dunk into milk? I use soy or almond milk, but anyway brownies dunked in milk go quite well together. 

Do you have any current or past teachers on your facebook friends? Yes, I have 3 former teachers on Facebook.

Are there any baby pictures of you up? No.

Do you have any friends who have bleached blonde hair? I have in the past, yeah.

How much sugar do you like in your tea/coffee? With tea I usually only need a packet, maybe two. With coffee, if I’m having cream (like Half and Half) and sugar then I usually put 4-5 packets.

What color is the cereal in your cupboard? Like a cream color with blue on top (it’s blueberry Frosted Mini Wheats).

Are you wearing any jewlery that a boyfriend/girlfriend gave you? I’m single.

Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever given you jewlery? No.

Have you ever seen the last person you kissed cry? No.

What's the closest store to your house called? CVS.

Do horror movies scare you more when they're 'based on a true story'? That definitely makes it creepier.

Do you still talk to the last person who hurt you (emotionally)? No.

Is there an outdoor movie theatre where you live? Not in my city, but in one nearby.

What color was the last food you ate? Sourdough bread color, ha.

Have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? Yeah. Only less than a handful of times, though.

How expensive is too expensive for a pair of jeans? Uhhh. I mean, the jeans I’ve bought were like 20-something bucks and they were perfectly fine.

After seeing a movie, do you go to a site to enter a review about it? No.

Have you ever done that? No.

Would you consider McDonald's a restaurant? You can eat inside, but they don’t bring the food to you or wait on you, though. Aren’t those things part of what makes a restaurant a restaurant as well or no?

Do your parents vote? Yes.

Are there any creepy pictures up on the walls of your house? No.

What's the last thing you were excited to eat? Wingstop the other night. It was goooood.

Do you ever hit electronics if they don't work? No.

Who’s the most romantic person you ever went out with? Ty.

Is there anything hanging from the ceiling in your room? My ceiling fan.

How would you react if your best friend was pregnant/got someone pregnant? My mom had a hysterectomy several years ago, sooo.

Do you know who Lisa Simpson is? Yeah.

Have you ever had a crush on the last person you spoke to online? No.

Have you ever seen the last person you hugged dressed up fancy? Yes.

(If your parents married), Do you know where they got engaged? They’re not married.

What color was the last cup you drank out of? It’s a clear glass.

What was the last picture you printed of? I have no idea. It’s been a long time since I’ve printed out any pictures.

What restaurant has the best fries? Wingstop fries are good.

What does your mailbox look like? It’s gray.

Have you ever gotten something stuck on the roof? No.

Have you ever had a surprise party thrown for you? No.

Is the room you're in organized? It needs some re-organizing. 

Would your mom make a good president? I honestly think she could.

The 2nd class you had last time you went to school: ever skipped it? Yeah.

Do your aunts and uncles have kids? All of them do except for one of my uncles. I have a total of 3 aunts and 8 uncles.

Is this survey interesting so far? Yeah.

Do you say fancy or formal? Or something else? I use both, just depends what I’m talking about.

Does your English teacher have kids? I’m done with school.

Does your computer make a lot of noise? It doesn’t make any noise.

Do you see movies at home or in the theatre more? Well, now I’d say at home, but pre-Covid I would have said in the theater.

What's your favorite thing to eat during a movie? I always get popcorn when going to the movies. I miss movie theater popcorn.

[simpsonsnight]

Episode #92

Homer the Vigilante Season 5 - Episode 11 | January 6, 1994

Hey everyone, it’s Homer the Vigilante! This is the one where a spate of cat burglaries causes Homer to become a Homer the Vigilante! This is a really good episode, and it ends with a fairly specific parody of It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World so make sure you find that instagram account where they show Simpsons scenes next to scenes of the stuff it’s parodying before you watch this episode! Or get the Criterion blu-ray of the movie I guess, it IS nice seeing Sid Ceasar in HD This episode is “one of the good ones” for sure, yes, but as far as classic Simpsons go it’s in the middle quality wise. This episode DOES have one of my all-time least-favorite jokes that the classic era holds, and it’s the scene above where Homer uses Bart’s novelty “rapmaster” bull horn to go do safety announcements with and a bunch of teens mistake him for Hammer. Incredibly weak gag, uncharacteristically so, and it hints at the lame reactionary dad element of the writing staff that will soon completely take the show over. Not to pile on this one brief joke, but I also compare it to the South Park scene a few years later. When Simpsons parodied South Park, they carefully excluded Kenny because at the time South Park “permanently” killed Kenny off. This turned out to only last one season of South Park, so that joke is partially a weird relic even though South Park is still on an fairly popular. The same deal here: MC Hammer is a kitschy reference people still make if they’re of a certain age, but the fact that kids call him Hammer is a reflection of MC Hammer dropping “MC” from his stage name. It’s an attempt to be current that ultimately backfires, because “MC Hammer” is funnier now than-- Actually you know what? that’s all bullshit. I’m doing the thing where you brag about getting a reference by criticizing the reference. It’s a bullshit thing that bullshit people do. And tonight, I am a bullshit people. That’s a Don Rickles reference by the way. Don Rickles? Who would get THAT in 2020?????

MAIL BAG

Time for-- whoops, unbold please. Time for mailbag where my many cool fans (and not my friends who are being rude/disrespectful to me) write some nice thoughts and content to me... Let ‘er R.I.P.!

do you ever thing bart and homer

Yeah :(

David Mirkin has worked on a lot of great stuff and oversaw the peak of the Simpsons but he's kind of a creepazoid and not the pimp daddy he thinks he is. Oh well. Would have loved to see what his American Young Ones would have looked like.

David Mirkin kinda sucks shit to be honest. I got nothing against the stuff he’s written but he was one of the more insufferable aspects of audio commentaries on the Simpsons, and he shut out Chris Elliott from the Get A Life DVD extras. It’s true! Mirkin bragged about having a “creative control” clause in his contract (possibly one that applied to all the producers). When USA Network aired Get A Life reruns with music replacements, Mirkin made them pull it because of said music replacements. Chris Elliott had actually been involved in a season one DVD set for Get A Life originally produced by Sony which presumably also had music replacements in it. Chris Elliott had actually mentioned that the set was fully produced and copies of it were just rotting away in a warehouse, but “the man” didn’t want you to see it. Turns out “the man” was David Mirkin, who eventually struck a deal with Shout to release the complete series with all the music cues in tact, thank goodness, but according to Chris Elliott during an interview on The Best Show with Tom Scharpling, he wasn’t invited to participate in the DVD extras for the set. I guess Mirkin was being spiteful. Now we have a weird DVD set where the bitrate is all fucked up because there are moments where Mirkin PAUSES THE SHOW to explain stuff even more long-windedly during the commentary track.

[nostalgiaispeace]

2176.

What’s the best food to have at a sleepover? pizza

How did you meet the last person you shared a bed with? at his cousin’s birthday party

Do you like the yellow cheetos better or the orange ones? orange

Where did you buy the shoes you wore today? i didn’t wear shoes today

Do you have any half siblings? i do

How many DVD players are in the house? one

Do you like the last song you heard on the radio? i don’t remember what it was

Do you know anyone who has been on TV? yeah...me

When going shopping for junk food, what��s the first thing you pick up? chips of some kind

How would you react if you found out you had a long lost sister? idk

At sleepovers, do you usually stay up all night or actually go to sleep? i go to sleep

Is there anything in the room you’re in that’s really dusty? probably

Do you know anybody with different colored eyes? no

Are any of your relatives vets? no

Who cleans the most in your house? me

Do you own any shirts that cost over $100? hell no

What about any shoes? Do you think that’s a lot of money for clothes? no

What’s the movie theatre in your town called? i don’t even know lol

How many minutes do you consider late? 10

Is there any jam in the fridge right now? yes

What did you get your best friend for their last birthday? i don’t remember

What about your mom’s and dad’s last birthdays? i got my mom a tshirt

What kinds of food do you dunk into milk? nothing

Do you have any current or past teachers on your facebook friends? yes

Are there any baby pictures of you up? yes

Do you have any friends who have bleached blonde hair? yes

How much sugar do you like in your tea/coffee? not a lot

What color is the cereal in your cupboard? brown

Are you wearing any jewlery that a boyfriend/girlfriend gave you? no

Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever given you jewlery? yes

Have you ever seen the last person you kissed cry? yes

Would you rather work at a gas station or be a maid? gas station

What’s the closest store to your house called? big lots

Do horror movies scare you more when they’re ‘based on a true story’? no

Do you still talk to the last person who hurt you (emotionally)? no

Is there an outdoor movie theatre where you live? yeah but it’s kinda far

What color was the last food you ate? brown

Have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? yes

How expensive is too expensive for a pair of jeans? 40

After seeing a movie, do you go to a site to enter a review about it? sometimes

Have you ever done that? i’ve never left one

Would you consider McDonald’s a restaurant? a fast food one

Do your parents vote? my dad dodes

Are there any creepy pictures up on the walls of your house? no

What’s the last thing you were excited to eat? idk

Do you ever hit electronics if they don’t work? lol sometimes

Who’s the most romantic person you ever went out with? my husband

Is there anything hanging from the ceiling in your room? no

How would you react if your best friend was pregnant/got someone pregnant? i would be happy for them!

Do you know who Lisa Simpson is? i think so

Have you ever had a crush on the last person you spoke to online? no

Have you ever seen the last person you hugged dressed up fancy? yes

(If your parents married), Do you know where they got engaged? i don’t

What color was the last cup you drank out of? orange

What was the last picture you printed of? me

What restaurant has the best fries? rally’s

What does your mailbox look like? it’s silver

Have you ever gotten something stuck on the roof? probably

Have you ever had a surprise party thrown for you? yes

Is the room you’re in organized? not really

Would your mom make a good president? lol no

The 2nd class you had last time you went to school: ever skipped it? -

Do your aunts and uncles have kids? yes

Is this survey interesting so far? sure

Do you say fancy or formal? Or something else? fancy

Does your English teacher have kids? -

Does your computer make a lot of noise? no

Do you see movies at home or in the theatre more? home

What’s your favorite thing to eat during a movie? popcorn

[toomanysurveys9]

What’s the best food to have at a sleepover? either chips or cookies. maybe even both. we usually have both when my brother and his girlfriend sleep over here or we sleep over there. oh. and tacos. tacos are always good.

How did you meet the last person you shared a bed with? that would be wyatt and jacob. i gave birth to wyatt. and i met jacob in middle school. he used to sit on my lap at lunch and eat my lunches since i didn’t eat them. he also sat on my lap in choir and copied my homework.

Do you like the yellow cheetos better or the orange ones? orange i guess? i didn’t know they had yellow ones.

Where did you buy the shoes you wore today? i haven’t wore shoes today.

Do you have any half-siblings? i do not. i have two adopted siblings, though.

How many DVD players are in the house? two i think.

Do you like the last song you heard on the radio? i don’t remember what it was.

Do you know anyone who has been on TV? yeah. the actress who played ginger on gilligan’s island is a cousin. i don’t know her or anything though. just see her at family reunions.

When going shopping for junk food, what’s the first thing you pick up? lately, snicker’s ice cream bars.

How would you react if you found out you had a long lost sister? i would be very, very confused. but i already have five siblings, so what is one more? i would wonder why neither parent would have mentioned it though before now.

At sleepovers, do you usually stay up all night or actually go to sleep? when i was younger, i was always one to go to sleep first. these days, i’m always one of the last to go to bed. funny how that changed.

Is there anything in the room you’re in that’s really dusty? yeah. the house needs a good cleaning.

Do you know anybody with different colored eyes? no one comes to mind.

Are any of your relatives vets? not that i’m aware of.

Who cleans the most in your house? probably my grandpa. i want to clean but the energy just isn’t there at the moment.

Do you own any shirts that cost over 100$? noooo.

What about any shoes? Do you think that’s a lot of money for clothes? no, i do not. the most expensive shoes i have are the under armor ones i paid like $40 at ross, and that was even a lot for me. $100 on a single clothing item is a lot of money. What’s the movie theater in your town called? linway cinemas.

How many minutes do you consider late? any time after you are supposed to be somewhere is technically late.

Is there any jam in the fridge right now? no.. we do have grape jelly though.

What did you get your best friend for their last birthday? i got kayla a starbucks giftcard, and jacob a gopro.

What about your mom’s and dad’s last birthdays? we got mom some fancy, expensive makeup. and i don’t know what we are getting my dad yet. we were going to get him a saw but he went and bought it himself last night.

What kinds of food do you dunk into milk? oreo cookies and cinnamon powdered donuts.

Do you have any current or past teachers on your facebook friends? yeah. i have quite a few past teachers and professors on there.

Are there any baby pictures of you up? on facebook, yes. Do you have any friends who have bleached blonde hair? i don’t think so.

How much sugar do you like in your tea/coffee? i don’t drink tea, and rarely drink coffee. but i guess two or three sugars usually gets put in my coffee on the rare occasion that i do drink it. i usually prefer iced or frozen coffee though. although lately i’ve been really wanting a cappuccino.

What color is the cereal in your cupboard? fruit loops, frosted flakes, raisin bran, and captain crunch.

Are you wearing any jewelry that a boyfriend/girlfriend gave you? not at the moment, no.

Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever given you jewelry? yeah. a few times.

Have you ever seen the last person you kissed cry? that would be wyatt, and yes. he’s my one and a half year old son. it breaks my heart still.

Would you rather work at a gas station or be a maid? i’ve worked at a gas station before, so that.

What’s the closest store to your house called? martin’s.

Do horror movies scare you more when they’re ‘based on a true story’? i guess so.

Do you still talk to the last person who hurt you (emotionally)? yeah. we’re married.

Is there an outdoor movie theater where you live? not where i live.. but there is a drive-in maybe forty or so minutes from here.

What color was the last food you ate? tan.

Have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? my mom, yes, many times since my grandma randolph passed away eight years ago. my dad has never even taken a sip of alcohol as far as i’ve seen..

How expensive is too expensive for a pair of jeans? i struggle spending even $30 on jeans... at least for myself. i wouldn’t even blink if it were for jacob, wy, or ellie.

After seeing a movie, do you go to a site to enter a review about it? i do not.

Have you ever done that? nope. i have not.

Would you consider McDonald’s a restaurant? a fast food one, but yes.

Do your parents vote? my dad does. my mom doesn’t really because she struggles with reading..

Are there any creepy pictures up on the walls of your house? nope.

What’s the last thing you were excited to eat? tacos last night. lol.

Do you ever hit electronics if they don’t work? not usually. but i’m sure it has happened.

Whose the most romantic person you ever went out with? no one. lol. i’ve never been with anyone all that romantic.

Is there anything hanging from the ceiling in your room? our ceiling fan and light.

How would you react if your best friend was pregnant/got someone pregnant? if jacob got someone pregnant besides me, we would have some issues and be getting a divorce. if kayla was pregnant, i would be confused since she’s not seeing someone and is 100% against having another baby, especially right now, so i know she would not risk getting pregnant by a random one night stand. but i would be there for her 100%.

Do you know who Lisa Simpson is? yes.

Have you ever had a crush on the last person you spoke to online? i don’t remember who that was, but probably not.

Have you ever seen the last person you hugged dressed up fancy? that would be wyatt, and i guess so. not SUPER fancy, but pretty fancy. :)

(If your parents married), Do you know where they got engaged? i do not know where they got engaged. i just know my mom asked my dad to marry her, and then when they got an engagement ring for my mom, my dad proposed to her with it in the van, on one knee and everything.

What color was the last cup you drank out of? red.

What was the last picture you printed of? probably wyatt.

What restaurant has the best fries? sportstime.

What does your mailbox look like? it’s black, and just looks like a basic mailbox.

Have you ever gotten something stuck on the roof? pretty sure that happened a few times when we were younger.

Have you ever had a surprise party thrown for you? nope.

Is the room you’re in organized? no and it is driving me crazy! we have so much to do...

Would your mom make a good president? noooo. definitely not.

The 2nd class you had last time you went to school: ever skipped it? i don’t remember what class that was, but i didn’t really skip classes in college.

Do your aunts and uncles have kids? all of my mom’s brothers do have kids. she doesn’t have any sisters. and my dad’s brother and sister both have kids as well.

Is this survey interesting so far? eh. it’s okay.

Do you say fancy or formal? Or something else? typically, formal. but i interchange it sometimes.

Does your english teacher have kids? i’m not in school anymore.

Does your computer make a lot of noise? no it does not.

Do you see movies at home or in the theater more? at home. we don’t go out to movies too often anymore.

What’s your favorite thing to eat during a movie? either candy or popcorn with jalapeno stuff on it. depends on my mood as to which i prefer.

[wbwest]

New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/01/06/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-1617/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 1/6/17

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2017, where we’re gonna lose even more celebrities than we did last year! That’s right, kiss Betty White goodbye!

  On the movie front, since we last got together, I saw Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Yeah, it didn’t do much for me. Now, let me back up a bit. I did miss the first 20 minutes because I had double-booked the night. So, I did miss the setup, but my friend caught me up so I’d know who everyone was. There was Hector “Space” Gonzalez, and Trixie Bang Bang, and Gay Karate Man, and He Who Shoots From Canister Vacuum. And they were fighting the evil Sir Capes A Lot, who was building the Death Star. I got all that. Still, something about it just left me empty. I feel like it’s a giant Easter egg of a movie for those hardcore Star Wars fans, but I’m not sure what it offers the casual fan. ***SPOILER ALERT***I mean, it’s just one big suicide mission. It’s impressive how they’ve worked it into the existing tapestry of A New Hope, but it’s not a story that had to be told, especially since no one made it off that beach. Just kinda bummed me out***END SPOILER***. Anyway, every Star Wars fan I know loved it, so I’m happy for them.

I finally watched the Justice League Action special I mentioned in the last post. It was OK. I mean, I loved that a lot of familiar voices were back, like Kevin Conroy and Khary Randolph, but I’m not sure I’m sold on the animation. First thing to remember is that it’s not the Justice League/Justice League Unlimited that we got over 10 years ago. It’s aimed at a younger audience, and the episodes are best described as “bite sized”. In the special, the Trinity team up with Captain Marvel, Swamp Thing, Green Arrow, Plastic Man and John Constantine to fight evil D’Jinn brothers. It was OK. Like, it wasn’t riveting, but it felt like the kind of thing that would be released directly to DVD. Not sure I’m gonna be DVRing it every Saturday morning. What did y’all think?

Since I’ve been a booster of it since the development stage, it’s with heavy heart that I can confirm that Girl Meets World has been canceled by Disney Channel. I was a huge fan of Boy Meets World, as I feel like I basically grew up with Corey, Shawn, and Topanga. Their stories weren’t as zany as the TNBC fare, but they weren’t always heavy, either. Sure, every now and then you’d get an episode about how Shawn’s poor white trash, but those episodes were few and far between. So, that’s kinda what I expected from Girl Meets World. And I’ve gotta say I was disappointed because that show got heavy as FUCK sometimes! Is there a God? Why did Maya’s dad leave? Is Farkle autistic? It’s like every episode just HAD to teach a lesson. Oh, and they reminded us Maya was poor white trash every possible chance they could get.

I loved the legacy aspect of it, but it just didn’t hit on all cylinders like I felt Fuller House did (which, by the way, was just renewed for a 3rd season on Netflix). Sure, Full House was treacly dreck, but then again, so was a lot of Boy Meets World. They were both ensconced in the world of TGIF at one time or another, and had similar ingredients. I just feel like Fuller House came back with nothing to prove, while Girl Meets World seemed like it was fulfilling some mandate from Disney that it had to be educational. It is surprising, however, that it’s not getting a fourth season, as Disney tends to love their 100-episode runs – the point at which the shows become no longer profitable to produce. Sure, Even Stevens and Lizzie McGuire only ran two seasons, but later hits like That’s So Raven and Hannah Montana got four seasons.

To be honest, part of me feels like the cancellation stems from star Rowan Blanchard’s tweets last year, where she came out as identifying as queer. Now, Disney is a pretty progressive company, but I’m not sure they knew how to spin that, and the renewal question has been up in the air since then. Still, a lot of folks are discussing the fact that Raven-Symone is a lesbian, yet she has her That’s So Raven reboot coming to Disney Channel, so maybe I’m wrong. Some fans are hoping the show will be picked up by Freeform (formerly ABC Family), where it could tackle more mature themes, but I think it’s done for now. The final 3 episodes air this month.

In TV news, there were a few bait and switch situations this week. First up, it was reported that Will & Grace was definitely coming back for a limited 10-episode run following the success of that voting video they did a few months back. Recurring guest star Leslie Jordan started blabbing that it was a done deal until Debra Messing finally came out and said that nothing had moved past the talking stage at this point. On the one hand, I loved Will & Grace during a tumultuous time in my life, but I’m kinda done with it. I want a Will & Grace reunion about as much as I wanna see a Mad About You reunion (God, that was a horrible finale!). Still, Hollywood’s out of ideas, so I’d say it’s still happening.

Next up, reports came out of The International Consumer Electronics Show that Conan would be moving to a weekly schedule, a la Full Frontal with Samantha Bee and Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. It’s been rumored that the show had been having trouble booking high profile guests, and the best ratings came from when Conan would travel and tape on location. By the end of yesterday, however, TBS reported that there were no plans for a format change “at this time”. So, just like with Will & Grace, it’s happening. They’re just upset they couldn’t get in front of it fast enough.

Speaking of cable shows, Archer is finally moving to FXX this season. The original plan was for FXX to be Fox’s cable comedy network, while FX would handle the dramas. However, when FXX launched, it just became the home of The Simpsons until It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia got shuffled over there. The fact that they didn’t move Louie and Archer, however, made it seem like a vote of no confidence for the spinoff network. Archer’s is little long in the tooth these days, and it’s no longer the crown jewel it once was, but I wonder if it’s got the juice to get more eyeballs on FXX. I hope it works because I love Man Seeking Woman and You’re The Worst over there, and they could both use more viewers.

In comic news, DC Entertainment President Geoff Johns confirmed that there would soon be an announcement regarding a new DCTV television show. Now, it’s not clear if this is another Berlantiverse series, a la Arrow/The Flash, or an unconnected show like Gotham. I’m curious if it’s just a confirmation of the Black Lightning show that had already been ordered to pilot by Fox, or if it’s something completely different. Also, it’s being reported that Johns will write some Watchmen comics this summer. This is a terrible idea since so many fanboys treat Watchmen like it’s their Bible, so there’s no way this will be well-received. They tried the Before Watchmen series, which didn’t really catch fire. They just had to go and reintroduce the concept in DC Universe Rebirth #1, so now I guess they’ve gotta do something with it. I’ve never felt Watchmen was “untouchable”, but I have no desire to revisit that world, so this project simply isn’t for me.

In wrestling news, it’s being reported that Diamond Dallas Page and “Ravishing” Rick Rude will be inducted into the 2017 class of the WWE Hall of Fame during Wrestemania weekend. The latter one really means a lot to me. I think Rick Rude was my first favorite wrestler because he was my introduction to the concept of a “ladies man”. The way he would pick a random woman out of the audience, and bring her into the ring. He’d kiss her, she’d pass out, and then he’d gyrate over her. That was a true pimp move right there! Like most wrestlers, he died before his time, so I guess he’s gyrating over angels now.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

Supergirl star Melissa Benoist divorced her husband of 21 months, Blake Jenner

Woody Harrelson is in talks to portray Obi-Wan’s mentor in an upcoming Star Wars film

Former UFC champion Ronda Rousey lost to Amanda Nunes in 48 seconds, after training for over a year for her comeback.

A Charmed reboot is in the works at The CW. It’s reported to be set in the 70s, but will have some kind of connection to the original series.

Mariah Carey “lost the plot”, as out British friends might say, when her pre-recorded track messed up on New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. She claims they intentionally sabotaged her for ratings, while Dick Clark Productions reports that she didn’t even come to soundcheck.

80’s pop star Richard Marx and wife, former VJ Daisy Fuentes, subdued a crazed passenger on a Korean airline. In other news, how the Hell did Richard Marx land Daisy Fuentes?!

It was revealed that Drew Barrymore’s upcoming Netflix sitcom Santa Clarita Diet is actually a zombie show. Meh. I’ve been over zombies since 2006.

In Arizona, folks reported seeing a winged demon, heralding the beginning of the apocalypse. Yup, 2017 is gonna be swell!

When I first heard about The Mick, starring It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia‘s Kaitlin Olsen, a lot of thoughts went through my head: Is Sunny over? Is Fox gonna bury it? Will it even be funny? Luckily, I got my answers pretty quickly. No, Sunny is still going, as they scheduled The Mick around its shooting schedule. Fox didn’t bury it, but instead gave it some prime real estate after one of the last regular season football games of the season. And was it funny? Yeah, it’s funny.

If you haven’t heard of it, Olson stars as MacKenzie “Mickey” Murphy who’s going nowhere in life. She’s got no money, no prospects, and a deadbeat boyfriend. She decides to pay a visit to her wealthy sister to hit her up for a loan when the FBI raids the party, carting her sister off to jail for fraud. Once released, Mickey’s sister and brother in law flee the country, leaving their 3 kids in Mickey’s care. There’s the college bound bitch daughter, there’s the privileged snob teen son, and then there’s the precocious little boy who doesn’t really know what’s going on. Of course Mickey butts heads with the older two, while befriending the maid, Alba. The pilot plays out somewhat predictably, as most of it had been shown in TV spots leading up to the show. It’s the second episode where things really kick into gear. A loan shark comes after Micky, while she and Alba are getting high at a rave. Meanwhile, the kids’ bitchy grandmother has come to take over the house, and grandma doesn’t play!

I thoroughly enjoyed both episodes that aired this week. As I said before, it debuted on Sunday, which I feel is a better night for it. Instead, however, its regular timeslot is Tuesdays at 8:30, following New Girl. It being a Fox show, however, it probably doesn’t have a prayer. After all, I thought Grandfathered would be a sure thing, and now Stamos is back on Fuller House duty. No, I doubt we get a second season of this thing, but I’ll enjoy it while it’s here. That’s why The Mick had the West Week Ever.