#i know someone who can protect us
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I mean, he kind of said it in the film too, didn't he?
#sing 2021#sing movie#sing johnny#sing 2#sing 2016#sing big daddy#sing marcus#lol memes#porsha sing#jimmy crystal#porsha crystal#i know someone who can protect us#translation: my dad can beat up your dad#marcus definitely could#sing memes#johnny seriously pulled a 'my dad can beat up your dad' in the film
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the way tattoo is so rough around the edges and has no idea what to do when faced with aran's overflowing emotions and tears (even the fake ones) but whatever gentleness he possess, even if it might not look like much to others, he's always willing to give
#GOD HOW I WISH THEY GAVE US MORE OF THESE TWO AND THEIR COHABITATION#AND ALSO OF TATTOO IN GENERAL#im just constantly rotating him in my mind like a microwave he's sooooo#like he's such a survival of the fittest and a screw them over before they screw you over kinda guy#all he knows of love is bleeding under someone fist to protect the few people he can allow himself to care about#because he can't have weaknesses or he won't survive#but he's also the one who invents and fixes things#who picks up trash and turns it into something different (maybe still trash maybe not)#he has these moments of extremely awkward and yet deep gentleness#and he thinks rosé proposing to jack was 'kinda cute'#he is teaching aran to survive and that aran /is/ capable to survive by himself#while aran is bringing out this softeness buried within him#AND I JUST NEED ARAN TO PROPOSE TO HIM BECAUSE THAT MAN WANTS TO BE ROMANCED AND NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE#idk what im saying ;;;;;;#jack and joker#jack & joker#tattooaran#tattooarun#m: txt
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hey guys 🤲 spare nille thoughts? s’il vous plaît???
#radio rambles#so many isat fics who brush over her addition to the found family#fine sure whayever but also. also#pls ? pls?#i still need to make a nille design………#in my mind nille is like 18 or 19 at best#raising her child sibling#and i think. i think. something so special about the party taking her in#and helping with bonnie. because. it shouldnt have to be her responsibility#ofc she loves bon but it shouldnt have. to be. her job to take care of then#and she still will ofc…. shes used to it now. instinct or smth#but having a whole family of ppl who are Equally (if not more after. everything) protective of bon ? like. pls 🙏#ALSO JUST#we dont know much about their home life… if nille and bonnie live alone etc#id like to think she has neighbors she might rely on sometimes. coworkers at jobs she wouldve had to have taken up#but just having like. actual and experienced adult influences in her life can be so powerful#someone to. talk to about. feelings#DO U UNDERSTAND ME. DO YOU THINK NILLE TALKS ABOUT EMOTIONS#about her own#auggh#this was supposed to be a short post but now ive said one billion things#oops#talk to me abt nille. in exchange. uh. nille design one day#ok?#isat spoilers#isat
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Dean is such a paradox for me because on the one hand, I have been actively triggered by him in the show, there are moments where, intentionally or not, the writers managed to create a portrayal of manipulation and abuse and control issues that it sets off actual alarms for me. And on the other hand, I would not have him any other way. There is something — not comforting, that’s too soft a word — about knowing where Dean’s actions stem from, having seen and learned all that we do about his childhood neglect and parentification and the trauma he goes through repeatedly in the show, and that he doesn’t come out clean. He comes out a goddamn mess who ends up hurting the people around him in reaction to his own pain!
There’s a reality there that’s. Almost nice, actually. Distressing to watch, but it is a fucking mess, it’s a good mess! He’s got zero healthy coping skills and a healthy relationship with say, his brother, is terrifying because it leaves him open to abandonment!
I’m not sure I’m wording this correctly. There is a way to be a good abuse victim. Take the pain, martyr yourself on it, and then, even if you have no support or idea how to, then you have to become a Good Person who never hurts anyone the way you have been learning to your entire life. Simply toss everything that shaped you out the door and emerge a saint with a tragic backstory. And Dean is not that. And that’s so fucking good. Everything that he has gone through continues to effect the way he treats the people around him, and he can’t fight the behaviors he might recognize as harmful because he also sees them as protecting him (or protecting Sam by keeping Sam with him.)
And sometimes, idk. It feels good to see a guy who didn���t heal the “right way.” Who mostly didn’t heal at all, just keeps the wound open because it’s easier that way.
#there’s a whole other bit to this about how like. it’s hard for fandom to hold the idea that someone can be both a victim and abusive#at the same time. that the ways someone has been hurt don’t always shape them into kindness and wide-eyed sympathy. occasionally it just#makes them hard to live with. and I think most obviously is the thing that a lot of what Dean does is an expression of love. of protection.#he’s very much his father’s son in that way. that’s why Sam. the guy he’s been Told to protect his whole life. is also the person he ends up#hurting the most. it’s tragedy. it’s realistic. it’s a good fucking mess.#and that’s why I don’t get interpretations of dean that are determined to shave off the ugly parts of his character. to me those are the#parts that make him a character worth revisiting. he’s so full of love. and he uses it to hurt people. he means to sometimes. a lot of the#time he doesn’t but hurts them anyway. he has been shaped by violence his whole life. and it’s just. I get why someone might take this#part of him away. to make him easier to love. because I get that he’s stressful to watch also like I get that. but he is.#he is compelling. in his anger and his controlling behavior and his strangling love. he is compelling in all the ways he has become this.#Dean’s degradation into these behaviors can be both a failure of a show that ran to long but also the believable trajectory of a man who#can’t heal. and I love him for that. I love him for emerging from pain as a angry sharp thing. I love that it brings the glimpses of him#being gentler and recognizing his actions as bad into stark relief. I love that this recognition often only lasts until he is hurt again and#then he backpedals into the safety of behaviors he knows will allow him to control a situation through force or manipulation.#it’s good fucking mess. you know? dean winchester everybody.#maybe I should have put all that in the main post. oh well. too late now.#spn#dean winchester#tw abuse
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Gifted Drabble - NewAgeAu - Q&A
As I said! I totally wasn't scheming :3 @spotaus
But i had to wait until you uploaded your drabble about very sneaky Cross to make sure I got more references and a better idea about his character :D
So... here we are :3 Also yes the name of the drabble is a very bad joke but i thought of it and it was too funny.
*------------------------------------------*
Cross just sits there... He is such an idiot!
Getting caught?! As quickly as he did? that must be a record on how incapable he was.
It wasn't as if Cross had an excuse. Dream and Blue warned him! Warned him that the Knights were very skilled and watchful. That he had to leave as soon as he got the information and plans. Do not linger!
That had been the mission!
Instead he was a coward and just. Took too long. He spend too much time trying to form a plan instead of just acting. And then He tried to solve mysteries himself instead of just grabbing and leaving as soon as he could!
But he just... Cross groans.
He hadn't found anything fitting the brief. He hadn't been able to find anything that spoke about hurting people or raising taxes to hurt the poor or anything!
In matter of fact.
All he found was plans to improve the infra structure. To tax the nobels more and lower the taxes on people who earned less. He found information on how the king had contact with farmers to work on more structures and installations to help farmers recover from the change in weather and to fully utilise the land without exhausting it.
Projects on testing mixed crop planting and stricts rotation schedules to make sure the soil itself wasn't exhausted from nutrients or risks infections or fungi growing which would hurt the soil and specific crops.
There was even this whole program about apprentices!! something about orphans and children and teens on the straights and a way to offer them schooling and housing and even training with the people helping them! That the crown would pay these people for helping those who don't have family to count on!
It is still in draft clearly as it had been covered with sidenotes in this very elegant and curve handwriting. notes about how to pay for it. where to start it. which people to ask for posibilities. but also notes about how to check the children. how to make sure the children and teens weren't use or abused or even worse!
And... well... not too shortly after that one of the Knights just... Sat in the chair and spoke casually... Scared the shit out of him at the time.
How was that dude so quiet?! or so strong for that matter?
How could his magic had backfired so badly?
Cross sighs as he turns to his side. He is an IDIOT. How could he have gotten so reckless?
Drema and Blue would have already been happy with him getting anything back from the king's plans... maybe he just couldnt see the danger in them clearly? Hell if he knows what the state in the country is. He knows nothing about this place.
Maybe the things he saw was a bad thing? Maybe there was some... weird way to make them look bad?
Like.
Maybe there was already little nature? Sure Cross saw a lot of it on his way here but hell if he knows? maybe there is little in the cities or soemthing?
Maybe the nobels are already being taxed a lot? maybe this will make the nobels all poor? and euh.... Cross isn't sure how taxing the poor less could be bad but maybe there is some way?
the farming thing... Well... Cross isn't sure... maybe the farmers don't want him to micro manage or soemthing? maybe the king is being too controlling about it? that works...
The children are obvious. those are vulnerable kids and teens! Who are being used and exploited!! Well... he would have to ignore all the sidenotes about the kids wellbeing... and the notes about banning child labor...
Cross groans. Why is it so hard to see the things he is doing as bad?! Dream told him that Nightmare is corrupted and the thing ruling now is evil and terrible and needs to be removed to save his twin!!
Then why are the plans good? Maybe he is faking it? But why? XGaster never bothered to fake anything... He was just rightfully the king and people should respect him.
Cross frowns as he turns on his side. Ignoring the guard standing well guard outside of his cell. He tugs on the magical blocker on his arm. Making him unable to use his magic to summon any weapon or try to take control over someone elses magic again.
Well... Not like he can try that with the guard guarding him again anyway. Seeing as it is Dust guarding him...
Cross tugs on it again and Dust speaks "Don't bother. Those things can't be removed by the wearer."
Cross freezes and looks over. He thought he had been sneaky enough. The one with the panther mask stares back.
Cross frowns as he turns back to the wall.
The Knight goes quiet again.
Cross tugs on the band one more time. Just to be spiteful. Before laying back and staring at the wall.
Fuck... He is going to die here? Isn't he?
Maybe they will just starve him...
Or maybe they will first torture him to figure out who he works for.
Cross is going to have to withstand it until he dies. He can't give up Dream and the fact he is planning a revolution.
He can't ruin another revolution that could save and help so many people.
He will have to be strong. Not give in. Not even an inch.
"I apologise I took so long Dust. Thank you for keeping watch."
Cross freezes at the new but familiar voice. Cross had heard the voice before. He had seen the owner walk around and had been getting information on him.
The king.
The fucking king.
Nightmare himself!
Why was the king here?!
Sure Cross had been spying and stealing information. But was that really such a big deal to get the king himself to interrogate him?!
Then again... Shed's tail had aparently been removed and used for cat toys...
He is so dead.
A click and the door to his cell slowly creaks open.
Cross's pulse is beating so fast.
Footsteps walking closer. before the door creaks closed. and is relocked.
He is so dead.
A few more steps and then silence for a moment as Cross tries to keep his panic at bay. He regrets staring at the wall.
"I know you are awake. Speaking will be a lot easier if we face each other."
Cross keeps laying there. What does he do?! He can't ignore him. Come on Cross. Be brave. You faced down scarier threats!
'But you had magic back then.' his mind whispers 'You had a way to defend yourself.'
Still. Cross sits up and turns around. Making sure he is glaring. He is not going to give in. "What is there to tell?" His voice holds the challange. He isn't afraid. He will not give in. He is not going to give this so-called king anything!
Nightmare tilts his skull slightly. intrigue clearly. Cross doesn't like the fact that he seems just so... unbothered by Cross. Cross is the enemy! He is sitting in the cell after Nightmare's forces found him snooping around, trying to steal information.
So why is this king staring at him with just intrigued! No rage? No disgust?!
Nightmare speaks again. Seemingly taking his time to think about his answers. trying to be actually truthful? or trying to think of an answer that Cross wants to hear? Wait... Is the king already in cross's head and mind? is Cross already being tricked?
Nightmare's voice breaks him out of his spiralled thinking "I think I disagree. there is a lot to talk about."
Cross tilts his skull upwards. stubborn energy in his soul "I won't tell you anything about who send me or why. No matter what!"
Nightmare looks slightly amused "I don't exactly care about who send you or why."
... what?
Nightmare continues, at his aparently obvious confusion, as he explains "I know there are people who wish to know what I am doing. I know people are scheming against me. It is nothing new. Even a spy as yourself is nothing new." he looks amused "The fact they even send you implies they know close to nothign about me, my land or my home. Or, that they don't care about you at all."
That.. that doesn't make any sense?!
Ngihtmare nods "I do apologise you swore your loyalty to those who know nothing of the target they send you to spy on. Otherwise they would have known that I am aware of what goes on in my castle and land." he smiles "they would have known that my Knights are everywhere and good at their jobs." he shoots Cross a look "They would know that i am aware of who is suposed to work where at which moment."
Cross feels his mind lock up as the information filters in... How... how hadn't Dream known this?
Ngihtmare waves a hand casually "You are a rather inexperienced spy. Not that it matters. As there is very little any type of skill could have done against me and those of mine. Either your employers know nothing of me which means they aren't much of a threat quite yet. Or they were willing to throw you away as some sort of test against me or you. Which just makes me unimpressed with them overall."
Cross just stares at the ground.
The Knight speaks softly "Way to ruin his worldview my king."
a moment of silence before "I apologise. I shouldn't have said those things. You did not deserve to hear those or have to worry about which case is true."
Cross snaps "Why am i not dead yet?!" He had heard about the terrible punishment this parasite of a king does. How he hurts people for jsut the hell of it... From Dream... form the guards working here... It makes no sense that Cross is still alive. Unless he wants to torture him of course...
A moment of silence.
Ngihtmare speaks a bit softer but still sure and confident "You meant no harm. You were here for a few days and no one was attacked. Neither myself, my knights, my servants or my people in the city. I do not see why i would punish you with death if you did not do a crime earning such a thing."
Cross glares up "And if i had hurt someone?" So he was just doing this own test?! this is just a test. That Cross can deal with. Cross can deal with someone trying to trick and test him!
The king chuckles and shakes his skull "It is very bold of you to assume you would have been able to hurt anyone. Just because we aren't obvious you were not walking around unnoticed or unwatched. If you had made a single move to hurt someone you would have been stopped and caught right away. I must admit however if you had tried that this conversation would be going very differently."
Cross frowns, wait... "If i moved to hurt someone? Anyone?"
Nightmare nods "Of course. The people who work for me are people who's safety i take very seriously. They are willing to work for me. in trade for their servitude i make sure they have what they need and want and more importantly. That they are safe to live their lifes." He sounds so certain and the answer is instantly.
He didn't even need to think about it.
Cross's mind is swimming as he tries to focus. This makes no sense... Why is he implying that he only punishes those who deserve it? That isn't waht others said. This... this is weird. This is the weirdest interrogation he has ever been part of. But he manages to find his voice again "What do you then even want to know?" It isn't like he knows anything.
Nightmare watches him "I am curious about the Lost Kingdom."
Cross flinches as he looks away. "It isn't called lost..." it isn't lost... it isn't! His... his brother- Nine is trying so hard to fix the mess Cross left behind. the mess Cross helped cause. It may be broken and a bit of a mess but it isn't lost. Lost implies there is nothing that can be saved from it.
A soft hum before he speaks again "I apologise. It is a name i took over from others." a moment of silence "I supose I am just curious what made the most loyal of knights of that land leave the country he was working on protecting."
Cross freezes. huh?
Nightmare waits for a moment but when Cross doens't answer he continues "It doesn't make sense to me. Your every move and motivation was from trying to protect the country you served. Yet here you are. Instead of there."
Cross looks to the side. He... he had tried to protect but he failed everyone. He always failed... He made the most terrible mistake of mistakes... How could he stay? they didn't want him to stay. He didn't deserve to stay after that.
Cross looks to the side and speaks "No one wanted the loyal dog of the tyrant to stay. so i left." there.
a moment of silence. "Seems a bit of a harsh name for someone who was loyal to the country."
Cross glares "I wasn't! I just did what the old tyrant wanted!" Like an idiot who can't think for himself. He just did whatever his father told him. Too blind and too stupid to see that XGaster was hurting others.
Nightmare continues to look at him "And you believed in him to make the right choices for the country. That is the job of a king. Make sure that what is done is done to improve the land. improve the country. improve life for the people. It is not your fault that XGaster didn't honour his rule. That he did not do what he was suposed to. What he was sworn into."
Cross can't hear this. Not form sometone who is suposed to be eveil but seems to know so much. Who seems to know what it means to be king yet who isn't suposed to care. Why is this thing who is possessing an innocent acting as it he cares? How would this thing know what makes a good king?!
Cross asks him as much. "Why do you care!?" it is more of a snap than a question.
Is it... Is it Nightmare? Influencing the thing brainwashing him and controlling him? Fighting back?
Dream would be happy to hear that.
Nightmare still thinks about the question. He looks ahead of himself with a tiny frown. Seemingly thinking.
Cross however can't help that notice how blue the cyan eye is. Clearly unnatural. Toxic even... Yet calm. There is no rage hidden that Dream warned him about. No edge of insanity or madness. Just calm and insightful thoughts. Control over his mind? but that makes no sense if he is brainwashed...
The body is not at all what Cross even expected to once see. Ngihtmare had this imposing presence. The fact his form was covered with a goop that had melted over one of his sockets didn't help. The way those tentacles on his back moved and idled. Seemingly without a single thought- wait... didn't octopusses have like... brains in each tentacle. Did that mean that Nightmare had five brains working and thinking for him?
Still... The corruption is so clearly... strange. Dream had told him that the powers given by the ritual was suposed to make a king and warrior of light. Of good. This form is proof that Nightmare wasn't suposed to gain this power. It is dark and moving and changing... But Cross can't help but think it doesn't look that bad, that the name corruption doesn't quite fit. It doesn't radiate any harm in anyway. Not like that time in the hall... Is... Nightmare able to control the presence it gives off? Why wouldn't he use it now? The slight magic he can still feel is potent and strong and unlike anything Cross ever felt before... But it isn't like other poisonous magics Cross had learned about. That he had trained to recognise. It is strange...
Cross decides to focus on the clothes he is wearing. It is clearly high quality stuff. not to forget the golden accents and actual bands around the tentacles. the clips with apple motifs. the detailing of branches like swirls in the same cyan colour as that eye, just less obvious because the fabric is slightly see through.
It makes for one intimidating image. One that the king carries with confidence and familiarity.
Nightmare speaks "I care because i wish to understand. We learn by understanding others. Even if i don't agree with someone doesn't mean i don't have to understand them. In matter of fact. the only way to truly disagree and be against something is to understand or at least know about the concept. When it is about why people do certain actions it is important to learn their motives and reasons. to understand why they did what they did before casting out judgement."
Cross can't deal with him... how is this suposed evil tyrant so understanding?
He is nothing like XGaster.
Nothing at all.
Cross can see that so clearly and so easily. This is someone who knows what he is talking about and who doesn't just say what you want to hear. Cross thought he knew what he was going into. He thought he would meet a man simular to XGaster.
Someone who manipulates. Someone who lies. Someone who turns every answer into a small insult. Someone who tells you how to think and why you are an idiot for not thinkinf like that from the start. Someone who believes himself to be perfect and not capable of fault.
Cross believed his father to be rightful in being this way and thinking that way for so long. It wasn't until after the revolution Cross finally noticed the cracks in the facade.
Cross thought... he figured he would be able to see through whatever mask Ngihtmare is wearing. Metaphorical of course. But he can't... he is failing. He can't figure this out.
Is... is cross being an idiot again? is Nightmare lying to him and is Cross still just unable to see it?
Or is there no mask to see through? no mask to spot the cracks in?
What does he do?
Nightmare waits and remains quiet until Cross actually focusses on him. When he does Nightmare speaks again "I wish to know what happened there. In your home."
His home...
"It isn't my home..." not anymore...
Nightmare nods and speaks again "Then what happened to the country that you used to serve and protect. What caused the downfall?"
Cross looks to the side "A revolution obviously..."
Ngihtmare nods and waits.
Cross glares "I was an idiot and could not pick a side. I couldn't fight my brother who lead the revolution but i could also not betray my lord. I ended up trying to help both yet messed everything up." he glares at the king "I made everything worse." all because he just couldn't pick.
Ngihtmare tilts his skull "Rather extreme. Thinking just one person can make or break a revolution."
Cross blinks.
Nightmare nods calmly "I am not saying that you couldn't have made it go better. That is always an option. However. A revolution... a rebellion. It is the same thing, and it is messy. it is dangerous. One person can not make things go perfect. that is impossible."
Dust coughs lightly into his hand. The king shoots him a look but nothing else happens.
The king turns back to him "You are not responsible for everything that happened. could you have helped? Yes. But... the choice that you made also enabled you to do the few things you could. the little bits you did to help your brother. If you had picked to defend the old tyrant. You would have had to hurt others."
Cross glares down "I know i should have helped."
Ngihtmare shakes his skull "That isn't what i am saying. the point i am trying to make is. You never know what you would have done in the other two situations. You could have joined your brother. but then you would have had to fight the very people you trained and fought beside before. The same people who know you through and through. who know how you fight and move." and he looks at him. "You helping them. either side of the conflict. would have meant you would have been at a different position at any given point. The things that happened wouldn't and couldn't have happened because your actions in this... neutral choice also had consequences and effect. It meant that XGaster stationed you as a guard. if you hadn't been available he would maybe have used two others to gain the same protection you gave him. You didn't stop the revolution when they got to you. instead there would have been two guards guarding the door." And nightmare give shim a moment to let that information sink in.
Cross stops... he... hadn't thought about... all he could think about is how he could have made things different. Thinking about how his skills could have helped specific moments... he hadn't considered that... him helping them from the start would have chanced everything...
and the moment where he could have helped... may never have even happened.
Cross shakes his skull "Things would have been better if i had picked a side."
The king considers it "Maybe it would have. Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe by not picking a side you were able to do enough damage control for both sides that enabled it to even be successful. Maybe not picking a side made it last longer. You can not know which choice would ahve been better as you never saw the options."
Cross isn't sure what is even going on anymore. He had believed... He had been sure that him not making a choice just made everythign worse. Everyone agreed. Everyone must have agreed or else they wouldn't have made sure to remind him about his mistake each moment they could...
right?
Nightmare nods before getting up. Cross only now notices that Nightmare had been using his own tentacles as a chair "But I think I have pushed you too far already with my questions. You need rest and time to process and calm down. Food will be brought to you later." he turns towards the cell door and exits.
The king nods to the guard and starts to walk away.
Wait...
Wait!
Cross jumps up and rushes to the bars "Wait!"
The king stops and turns back to him "yes?" and he waits.
Cross pants "You said... Way before... at the start... There had been others like me. other spies. Where are they now?" Dream said others had been send before right? Or maybe even other forces. That Nightmare killed them?
Nightmare tilts his skull "My knights or I myself spoke to them. Much like I am doing wiht you. Those who meant no harm and held no wish to hurt those here... They were offered a change of scenery. They mentioned they couldn't and didn't want to return a failure to their old leaders. There is always room and a need for people willing to work and help."
Cross frowns "And those who did wish to return home?"
Nightmare looks unbothered "After making sure they were no threat they were released at the border. With a warning to not return. Once is an happening after all, one people can learn from. However if it turns out they lied or wished to return to do harm after all they were punished for their crimes."
Cross looks down as his mind spins "Oh..."
Nightmare waits for a moment longer before nodding "Rest up. I will come back either tomorrow or the day after to continue our conversation." he turns and leaves.
Cross slowly lets go of the bars and goes back to the bed in the cell... He can't help but notice that it is actually rather comfortable here.
Sure there are bars and he is locked in and unable to use magic...
But there is fresh air. Some natural sunlight comes in through the barred windows. It isn't cold or wet. There are warm blankets and soft places to sit...
Even if it is a jailcell. It is comfortable at least.
Cross rolls back up on the bed and thinks.
His mind going over the past conversation and thinking about what he learned. For it having been suposed to be a way for the king to learn about Cross it was just Cross learning about Nightmare.
What had the king even wanted to learn? All Cross told him was how he thought about things and experienced it. Not even how the revolution happened or what events took place.
If Nightmare had wished to know those it would make sense. Then it would gain Nightmare insight to how the revolution managed to be successfull and what to defend against.
And yet...
and yet...
He didn't. All Nightmare wished to know was what Cross did.
It doesn't make sense.
None of it does.
It doesn't take long but eventually a maid comes along. a human and she bows in respect to the Knight before turning towards Cross with a smile "Hello there. I brought you some food. It are roasted potatoes and a salad." she puts it on the little opening to push it into his cell "Once you are done please place it back in this same area. Makes us able to clean it up which will leave your area a bit cleaner!" she smiles happily before nodding once she sees Cross paying her attention.
After that she turns away, bows to the Knight again,before leaving.
Cross makes his way to the food slowly but the Knight standing guard doesn't make a single move to take or mess with it.
Cross grabs his food and takes a seat on his bed again. He eats it slowly and feels his hand shake once he realises it is actually good.
It is taste and warm and filled with nutrients.
Why are they treating him so nicely?
Cross just... doesn't get it...
Maybe he can ask the next time Nightmare comes to him to talk?
Maybe he can get some answers after all...
*------------------------*
In case you guys don't get the title name. It is a joke. Because Cross is being interrogated but it is more a mutual Q&A...
I will leave now.
#utmv#NewAgeAU#nightmare sans#Cross sans#dust sans#Cross freaking out about the cell door being opened and him thinking he is about to die.#meanwhile nightmare thinking: oh. that is creaking loudly. we need to send someone down here to oil the doors.#Just. the differences in energy here people. So funny.#But yeah. Nightmare? Just wants to understand.#He learned that the best way to know what people think and do is just to... ask them and try to understand the why they did something.#by understanding he gains more insight in what people do and want and need and what they can do to gain these things.#It helps him to udnerstand the more normal people from his place as king.#Also he is just curious how someone as loyal as cross could end up so far away from the very people he swore to protect.#(doing a bit of research to see why loyal people would leave because of his knights.)#but all he learns is that... cross felt like he had failed in his job and so left on his own as a form os self punishment.#So now he is trying to understand why he would feel like this.#all so he knows waht to watch out for with his own knights and to know how to reassure them.#To make sure he knows how to let them know that he trusts them and mistakes are allowed.#Cross is just having many crisis because well...#he isn't used to someone this powerful just having an honest normal conversation with someone so low in comparisson#Which for nightmare is normal (he got rit of the old advisors for experts in certain fields who were originally much more normal civilians)#It is a whole culture shock that nightmare is causing because he works so very different from the people in power cross is used to.#but yeah.#the first conversation between nightmare and cross which eventually lead to a career switch for cross.#that is the one i wanted to play with and explore :3#I had to change it a bit after Spot uploaded their drabble but i am proud to say most of it still worked :D#Enjoy <3
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say hi to me i don't know, i just remembered being so much brighter, i guess
cigarette ash like wildfire burning holes in the nighttime open scars feel like barbed wire white lies flying high like a ceasefire dropping flags on the shoreline this is as far as i can feel right 'cause what you don't know can haunt you
and all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think for a while
don't drag it out living like that doesn't mean a thing
so let's, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars 'cause happy endings hardest to fake
and i wanna let you know i wanna let you go but i just can't bring myself to speak but this is how it goes the end credits, they roll this bridge was built over kerosene but we can watch it and all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think
so let's run, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars you can wish away forever but you'll never find a thing like today
#miraculous ladybug#felix fathom#marinette dupain cheng#felix graham de vanily#🌃#ml amv#felinette felinette felinette FELINETTE#i'm shrimping so hard i'm gromping i'm making absolute tempura#yes the 2 am coco pops félix post was made while i was finishing this yes i am constantly experiencing inconsolable félix feelings#félings even. GOD GOD GOD okay listen#i could do a line by line analysis of this song and how i made the amv i have too many thoughts to put in the tags i am exploding#but in summary REPRESENTATION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPLIQUE. FUCK ME#félix's trauma an open scar leading her to the art room as far as both of them will go to feel right#ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS TO KEEP ADRIEN AND THEN MARINETTE SAFE#it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark huAHUAHHGAG I MTHRWOING UP it's how he doesn't care what she thinks of him#how she sees him whether she hates him he's Chosen her as someone to protect and he will DO IT he will TAKE HER WHEN HE RUNS#i don't care if you beat me i know i have this under control and i'm protecting you and everything is going to be okay EXPLOIDNGNIG#tomorrow is a mile away tomorrow where i find out who you are tomorrow where we have to come apart#this is how it GOES you're the hero i'm the villain adrien is the lover i'm the monster i'm the cousin#marinette and félix and Knowing each other is so#THEY DESERVE SO MANY OTHER DAYS THEY DESERVE TO SLOW DOWN AND BE WITH EACH OTHER AND NOT HAVE TOMORROW PULL EVERYTHING AWAY AND UAHAUHGAUGH#i'm not well about them. félix and freedom and escape#ALSO i have so many feelings about félix cherishing the people he wants to save so much he was willing to do the same thing that led to#his own trauma and use the peacock miraculous TWICE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ARE YOU KIDDING ME#you can read it differently but right now come with me ARE YOU KIDDING ME#also ALSO i often think about how felinette standing in front of réplique is a reference to pv felinette#and me placing that directly before the wish is a nod to how the pv was rewritten into canon miraculous. a meta wish... felinette remains#but also in universe you can wish away the world that once was and you'll still never find another thing quite like félix#and who you were and could have been to each other today... cherish him marinette... please cherish him for me#i hit tag limit on this essay so i'm not tagging the episodes i used in the amv but i used all eight félix episodes as always
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You know what? I think any and all scenarios that put Rex in a crossover or an AU where he ends up in a different universe should have him be 100% on board with whatever shenanigans he’s faced with. He winds up in, say the BBC Merlin or Once Upon A Time universe? Or the MCU teaming up with a young Peter Parker and/or Miles Morales? He’s utterly unfazed. Nothing throws him. Ahsoka is with him like “Rex, we’re totally out of our element here, be careful” and Rex is just like. “Ahsoka. We agreed to help this kid, which means I’m responsible for protecting a young, stubborn, hotshot with magical powers I don’t understand. No offense, vod’ika, but this is just another Tuesday for me.”
Just... Rex as a non-magical, non-superpowered, non-force sensitive character in every setting, who absolutely does not know the first thing about any of this stuff, but from the sheer repetition of dealing with Jedi nonsense (mainly Ahsoka’s nonsense) over so many years, has just developed a nonchalant, unblinking acceptance of the craziest stuff. Like, in superhero or fantasy settings you usually have the side-kick/best friend character a little confused like: “what’s going on? [explanation filled with complicated jargon] In ENGLISH, please!” But instead of that, Rex (who is NOBODY’S sidekick) is just there like; “The kid got bitten by a spider, now he’s magic, the Quarren-looking creature is the enemy, we need to secure the area and neutralize him with a serum injection before we can safely recover the hostage. Keep up, Shiny.”
Just...just picture Rex in a crossover situation where you have this young protagonist superhero/sorcerer/insert-genre-here who’s very green but also talented on their first serious mission scared out of their mind trying to save someone, trying to scramble for the quickest explanation they come up with to get Rex to trust them that “I know where they are I just can’t explain how I know, you just have to trust me” and Rex is like “Yeah, yeah, sure you can sense it. Lead the way, kid. Follow your instincts but don’t get into trouble without backup, okay. I’m right behind you.” The kid just stares at him wide-eyed for a second like “wait -- you, you belive me?” and Rex is just like “This ain’t my first rodeo, kid. Now get moving, time is of the essence here.”
#captain rex#rex#ct 7567#star wars#rexter#rex and ahsoka#ahsoka tano#look at it logically right#after order 66 ahsoka is very much alone with no one to talk to about any of this force jedi stuff#and rex is like the only person who actually knows she is alive; and i think he'd be there for her while she has trouble meditating#or reconnecting with the force or whatever#just so she has someone to bounce ideas off#and after a while he just he gets the hang of it okay#after serving by ahsoka's side all these years; frankly thers's not much else that could throw hin#he; a clone trooper; is practically family with this young girl who is like. an avatar of the light side of the force#i just imagine rex just. gets used to all the crazy jedi stuff at some point#ahsoka's troubled one day#like rex can i vent to you for a sec#he's just *drinking tea* sure; vod'ika; what's up#ahsoka: so I teamed up with maul to protect mortis from falling into the empire's control right#rex: naturally; continue#ahsoka: and...well#Ahsoka: turns out we're force dyads#rex: *looks up halfway through a sip*#ahsoka: that's...that's when two force-sensitive individauls have a bond in the force#they are your opposite; your mirror image; your foil#different from you in every way but your journey in the force and your fate are one#rex: so... you're twins. batchmates. different duty; same mission#ahsoka: exactly!
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I want to preface this post by saying that I love the cat king as a character, especially one that has such a major impact on Edwin and his relationship with his queerness and learning to be okay with it; HOWEVER, I also believe that everyone that genuinely believes he should be a love interest for Edwin should read this. (Also if you just like the cat king as a character and want to understand his character better and why his and Edwin’s relationship is not something that would be healthy or “real” for either)
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#the cat king#i do not ship them but I don’t want to hate on those who do (mostly) I just want to kind of inform people of the creators meaning for their#Relationship because I keep seeing people saying they hope they get together in s2 and it’s really confusing to me#Their relationship stems from the cat kings own narcissism and predatory behavior and Edwin’s need for someone to push him into under#Standing that his queerness doesn’t have to be torture and can be something giddy#even if he doesn’t return those feelings#The cat king does like Edwin but he doesn’t know anything about him. He likes the game and then he likes the kindness he’s shown despite#Knowing the cruelty he’s presented to Edwin#Queerness and preformance always go hand in hand#He’s a older secretly insecure character#Edwin is the younger#genuinely kind character that shows him that projecting his hurt will never get him what he wants#It’s about the isolation of queerness and the walls put up and the coping mechanism used to protect yourself even at the risk of hurting#Those just like you. That kiss from edwin was to say “I’m sorry your loneliness had caused you to be cruel. It’s the easiest way to feel.#And while I cannot and will not give you what you want or need#you deserve to feel happy and not like you have to gain the attention of uninterested people#I can’t even explain all my thoughts about their dynamic it’s just so much it’s just about the predadation from older queers because of#The trauma they’ve endured and the cycle of hurt and the way we can break the cycle with kindness while also protecting our youths by#Healing those traumas#Something the cat king learns and accepts#Off topic but I don’t like people defending their age gap because#Yes; Edwin is 86#but he died with a teenage boy brain and then spent 70 of those years in hell where he certainly was not getting his brain developed while#The cat king has possibly hundreds of years of sentience and experience. The power imbalance is not if y’all. And that part of their dynami#Is actually very clear I think but some people didn’t catch it?? Or didn’t care??? Idk man
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i wanna rewatch 911 but that means I'll have to stare at taylor kelly's face for several fucking hours
#all i can see when she's onscreen is bobby about to throw himself off of that building#I don't care how many redemption arcs they try to give her to make us like her she'll never be redeemable for that#first of all because she WASN'T SORRY and I'm not about to forgive someone for something they don't even apologize for#also fuck that part of the fandom that's like 'they just hate her because she's a girl boss' truly from the bottom of my heart FUCK YOU !!!!#also fuck the writers because i don't know how they looked at buck who's as loyal and protective as a pitbull and thought#'yeah he'd still want to date her after she tried to profit off of his pseudo father's suicide attempt“#and I haven't even caught up with the episodes of Ana's ableist ass yet. pray for me#anti taylor kelly#anti bucktaylor#anti ana flores#911#abc#fox#buddie
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Sketch I accidentally put too close between other doodles
#i gotta get better at figuring out where battle scars would go... esp bc i'm so detailed about moe all the time LMFAO#one thing about the moefonse dynamic. is i think each envies the other to a degree.#in my notes i once described alfonse's feelings about moe as seeing an angel.#a beacon of the beauty life has to offer and hope. the magic and awe of seeing someone who is overtly and unapologetically queer#the beauty of seeing someone just fagging it up. with attitude. outspoken and crude.#writing that note was extremely funny though like. moe? we're talking about the same guy?#my shitass fuckhead homunculus who has every disease? guy who failed in every facet of life EXCEPT for the Bad things?#bc that's all it is and all it ever will be? a bad fucking thing. that guy????#well. it's a matter of perspective... perhaps.....#another focal part is how each have made all-or-nothing sacrifices to live the way they live.#alfonse will never be his own person so long as he's a prince and eventually king. he will always be whatever he Needs to be.#but he's also someone who's wired in such a way that. this makes sense for him. this IS what he wants and embraces it#esp for the good of all. 'those w power should use it to protect those who don't' (ashnard interaction)#that's his mentality. that's what he believes in. that's what he's going to embody no matter the cost.#meanwhile... moe. well. you know about moe. it's a tale as old as time for queer people unfortunately.#endlessly complicated on moe's end as well. the way it both resents and envies what alfonse is able to do.#idk i can talk about it forever. but i gotta organize my tags here i CAN'T HIT LIMIT 😭😭😭#moe tag#fe alfonse#moe lore#summoner oc#my art
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idk saying ‘i don’t see it in you’ to a being who you were told is REALLY good at masking when it tells you it wants to talk about the having multiple people in your brain disorder and then not asking a single follow up question seems. counterproductive
#like yeah no shit. ae’m here to protect baal of course ae’m not gonna go around telling everyone that the reason we’re so different now#is cause baal doesn’t want to be alone at front#can we talk to someone who’s gonna walk us through it and figure out if it actually is did#(and if it isn’t why we’re not alone in here)#instead of just going ‘i know nothing about you and you obviously aren’t comfortable going into detail on your trauma but i don’t see that’
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thinking abt kunikida in the sheep au…
#‘how would this work’ i dont know but the VOICES#sorry this IS meant to be kunichuu. for my sake#imagine how it’d be like having another ability user in their group. someone chuuya can share the burden with#but also chuuya who doesnt WANT to drop that responsibility. smth smth natural instinct is to protect#vs kunikida who is loud and idealistic and takes leadership#not in the ‘IM THE LEADER’ way but in the ‘LET ME HELP YOU BITCH’ way#also him doing silly magic tricks with his ability to entertain the younger ones :’)#him and chuuya taking turns keeping watch. letting each other rest for once#kunikida being fiercely defensive of chuuya. he recognises chuuya’s strength but isnt afraid it would be used against them#bc he knows how loyal chuuya is. also ‘if chuuya ever hurts one of us ill hit him so hard he dies’ and hes 100% serious too#chuuya finds it so cute#maybe this is ooc but idc we’ve never even seen 15! kunikida. god i need it so bad#ALSO. kunikida with a sheep bracelet… it is Blue :)
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Tag drop: Jingliu
#tag drop#jingliu. [ and so i wield my blade to the very end. until the “stars” have been cut down from the sky. this oath: i will never forsake. ]#jingliu: ic. [ trapped in childhood nightmares; she tore off a spread of black silk from the edge of her skirt and covered her eyes. ]#jingliu: inquiries. [ ice waves as sharp as knives spreading like transient flowers in the air. freezing all and everyone they contact. ]#jingliu: countenance. [ when you live to be a thousand years. each day is carrying the weight of a mountain through an interminable maze. ]#jingliu: introspection. [ why do you wield a sword? / this is like asking a poet why they wrote poems. this is the only way for me. ]#jingliu: meta. [ this sword in my hand... naught but a needle compared with the heavenly bodies. how can i use it to cut open a star? ]#jingliu: little notes. [ this is the first time she understands “wanting to live”. before now; she was simply someone ready to die. ]#jingliu: wishes. [ unsheathing this sword without merit is to blaspheme the divine will of the reignbow arbiter; and invite calamity. ]#jingliu: etc. [ to the xianzhou; i am but an abandoned pawn: a wandering swordmaster. ]#jingliu: the sword. [ if a day comes that the quivers run empty; and starskiffs crash who will protect you and i then; or the xianzhou? ]#jingliu: florephemeral sword. [ a sword: 3 feet; 7 inches in length. weighing nothing. and it glowed as if a sliver of moonlight. ]#jingliu: shattered sword. [ a sword: 5 feet in length. weighing 3000 catties. unyielding: mirroring the defiance; hubris of its creator. ]#jingliu: cangchang. [ when devoured; we had to face the truth that our lives were but a grain of sand in the river of time. ]#jingliu: hcq. [ their faces still linger before my eyes like a bygone dream. yet dream will eventually fade. like clouds from the sky. ]#jingliu: memories. [ given the choice between staring at the abyss with a troubled mind and marching blindly: i choose the latter. ]#jingliu: jing yuan. [ in an endless night; there is nothing closer than the bright moon. always hanging in the sky. ]#jingliu: imbibitor lunae. [ even after your rebirth. your techniques haven't changed. / when i move it's like… / … like you never forgot. ]#jingliu: baiheng. [ the things that we said and did together have all been shrouded in a layer of mist. a mist i cannot see through. ]#jingliu: yingxing. [ some are born with unparalleled foresight; intelligence; but make the ill-advised choices at destiny's crossroads. ]#jingliu: blade. [ that broken sword... you don't want to let go of the past. do you; blade? ]#jingliu: yanqing. [ that move was a token of my appreciation; young man. we were fated to meet this day and in days to come. ]#jingliu: v. youth. [ you can use this to vanquish those that took everything from us. ]#jingliu: v. sword champion. [ she knows it all. swords are a part of her body: the intake and release of her breath as she walks. ]#jingliu: v. traitor. [ and i will suffer my eternal punishment. that is the only way to keep the memory of the pain from fading away. ]
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detective comics #509
[ID: Bruce Wayne sleeping in his penthouse, his eyes squeezed shut as the narration reads, ‘Gordon's strained laugh sounds hollow, but it echos in the Batman's mind... and haunts his dreams...” Bruce awakens to a hand on his shoulder and before he can think, he's twisting it and holding it down. The panel expands, revealing the hand belongs to Alfred as he's almost toppling over! He cries out, “M-master Bruce—my arm!” as Bruce groggily realizes who it is. He lets go at once as Alfred moves to the end of the bed and holds his arm while stammering an apology, “S-sorry, s-sir... Sorry if I startled you.” Bruce looks at him with aghast as he cries out, “My god, Alfred—I almost broke your arm!” Alfred reasons, “You must have been having a nightmare, sir.” as Bruce sits up and puts his face in his hands. He weepily dismisses, “A nightmare—what kind of an excuse is that? Old friend... forgive me...” Alfred reassures, “Nothing to forgive, sir. Just bad nerves, sir.” END ID]
#THIS ONE !!!!#bruce and his neverending guilt complex#just immediately regretful and so apologetic as alfred is quick to reassure and dismiss it#holding his arm because of fucking course it still hurts but when bruce lifts his head he stops ....#always thinking of how he was a caretaker for bruce since he was a small child/infant and how many little things bruce does now will remind#alfred of those days#he likes his grilled cheese q certain way. he cries if he thinks he hurt someone. he blames himself for a lot. he gets bad nightmares#like so much has stayed the same as so much continues to change but the love and care thry have for each other is always there#(<- guy who is always number one in bruce is disabled and needs a caretaker but also in how the people around him know bruce loves and cares#about them. its not about not being loved its about how heavy his love is and how bruce will subconsciously use his love to harm himself#(from blaming himself to his parents murders and jason's future death to something as simple as this and how he'll beat himself up#for hurting alfred and not able to protect him as well from himself)#(like his mental illness is forever using his stupid bleeding heart against himself as a reason for why hes awful)#this is all fully sidetracked im just fucking wired today sorry lol#but while im talking and something more related to the panel itself::#after this line bruce looks up and says ‘the batman suffering from bad nerves? lets hope not. gordon can worry about the election but i#cannot afford to. still its not just the campaign. lately so many other things are pressuring me—mostly as bruce wayne’#and like !!!!#it wasn't about batman! it wasnt about his burdens and responsibilities!! alfred was telling HIM. BRUCE. that its okay#and bruce automatically ‘its not because batman cant behave like this’ like !!!!#batman is the priority in the sense of he thinks he needs it to protect people. even his family even alfred and every single stranger#he won't ever allow himself any grace even while sleeping because batman cannot afford those ‘slips’#just GOD 70s/80s batman makes me insane for forever and ever amen#c: detective comics | i: 509#crypt's panels#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#alfred & bruce#‘awake or asleep—it scarcely matters anymore. the nightmare never seems to end.’#<- nightmare bruce tag <333
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having a normal one about brad and birdie again
#no spoilers for definitive edition here because i haven't played definitive joyful yet and haven't gotten any new birdie content in painful#lisa rpg#i know that half the things i say about birdie are looking Too Far Into It#but also they give us another bearded b-named addiction riddled wreck ruining his life because he's haunted by the deaths of young family#members he feels he should have protected (one of whom even committed suicide) and you expect me NOT to go 'wait that sounds familiar'#honestly the 'like/love' parallel really gets to me because it's so throwaway and i don't know why it's THERE#terry and buzzo say that (and ofc lisa originates it) but that makes SENSE#they're both categorized as someone deeply devoted to someone in the armstrong family. ofc that parallel is made#but why BIRDIE#brad's shirt pattern when he's young is the same pattern as birdie's poncho too#god it's not even just brad#dustin's least favorite thing being 'letting people down' and birdie's being 'being a failure' ESP. with the context of his children like#and (prefacing this by saying i do NOT think birdie was at all the type of father marty was) there's even similarities to marty#like you're telling me the companion who visually looks most like marty is *checks notes* the alcoholic single dad whose kid killed themsel#like there are so many weird things that are canon traits of the armstrong family that you can also see in birdie it's WILD#i'm not even saying i think any of this is THAT intentional or deliberate. like i think having fathers that failed their children on brad's#team is an obvious and deliberate choice but i don't think all this minutia w/birdie was intentional. i acknowledge i'm a lil insane#(birdie has rosy cheeks like marty because they're both drunk. fly also has the same shirt pattern so it's recusing assets. i get it)#there's just a weird amount to pick at if you want to
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I love trauma! I love being traumatized!
#sepiasys.txt#I love that B has basically just reconfirmed(?) that he has made himself a father figure to me!!#(is tired and annoyed/pissed off)#Things were fine when we went out but then it came time to get stuff to buy from target and yeah that was a trigger ig idfk#fucking awful experience. tempting to never go outside again despite knowing WE DO LIKE OUTSIDE!!#Motherfucker says he's responsible for us; not the first time.#coming to the conclusion that he basically acts like a parent to me felt like it was a completely new realization; but also like I should've#already come to this realization? Completely unfamiliar but logically makes sense enough that I should've already known.#So anyways I DON'T WANT A PARENT I WANT A FRIEND??#Specifically I want someone who is fine with us going in two different directions and meeting back up. He doesn't like when I'm separated :/#Bro got me feeling like a little kid again which was so fucking unpleasant. I felt too tall in the store.#On the walk home in familiar territory was fine ig. I want to punch him. but I've already fucking hurt him enough. whatever.#He told me that my saying this felt similar to back home hurt him. like it was rude/mean. That pissed me off more.#Like yeah I'm not considerate half the time of how others might feel; I dont think about it. BUT DUDE I AM/WAS LITERALLY HAVING AN AWFUL#TIME HERE AND YOU INTERPRET ME EXPRESSING MY PAIN AS BEING RUDE TO YOU!?#Like fuck I get you are the reason I'm here and I'm grateful for it; still rather be here than home; BUT ARE YOU FUCKING FR? ARE YOU KIDDING#Motherfucker saying he just wants to protect me and shit and thats not the first time either but THAT FEELS OVERPROTECTIVE AT A POINT DUDE#I know I'm traumatized and ik you are too but like fuck dude my needs and your needs do not fucking align if thats the case FUCK#I'm so pissed off and yet I can only express it as if lukewarm instead of fuming. Whatever. fuck this shit. fuck everything. 19 pizza rolls.
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