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marvelwitchergilmore · 5 months ago

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Bloodied Hands

Summary: Colter Shaw x Fe!Reader -> When you get hurt on a case, Colter stays with you.

Disclaimer: I don't really know what this is. Mostly caring fluff with a little angst, I suppose. Descriptions of blood, surgery, being in hospital. Not proof read.

Having felt a familiar hand on your arm, you woke up to find Colter stood over you.

“I need to change your bandage.”

Too tired to reply, you nodded and he helped you sit up before, slowly, you lifted the hem of your t-shirt to allow him access to your stomach.

Colter was careful when he unravelled the old bandage, and he was doubly careful when he cleaned your wound and redressed it.

His fingers were light against your skin, trying their best to avoid hurting you.

“There. Done.”

“Stay with me?” You asked, opening your eyes long enough to take a mental image of his face.

He nodded after a moment. “Let me just get rid of these.”

He was back less than thirty seconds later, walking to the opposite side of his bed.

“Come here,” he said in a low voice.

Every movement you made was slow, but he waited. He would wait a lifetime if he had to.

Taking you into his side, your hand clung to his arm as they wrapped around you, your back toon propped against his chest.

“Anything else hurting?”

You shook your head a little. “I just want to sleep.”

“Okay,” Colter replied before absentmindedly kissing your temple. “You sleep?”

“Stay with me?”

“Always.”

It wasn’t long before your breathing became even and the tensed weight in his arms softened, drifting into a hopefully dreamless sleep.

But Colter remained awake. He couldn’t help but have his brain run over the last week. From when you surprised him at his trailer, dressed in a raincoat and carrying a foil covered dish.

Reenie had called you, telling you Colter was in the area and since he didn’t know you had moved, you decided to surprise him.

However, when Teddi and Velma called only a few minutes later, it turned out you knew the family considering you were the one to last treat their animals.

That night, you helped Colter with some research. Bobby would still be asleep and since you and Colter had nothing better to do than talk and catch up, you pulled out his laptop and began researching.

Colter smiled at the memory, seeing you easily get into his laptop.

You had grilled him slightly for using the same password as he did years prior.

That night, you fell asleep on his bed. But rather than wake you, offering to drive you home, he pulled a spare blanket from his cupboard and covered your body.

By the time you woke up in the morning, you were alone. But there was no surprise there. You figured Colter still went on his morning runs.

He called it a morning run. You called it torture.

By the time he got back, you were pulling on a pair of grey cable knit socks and tucking your yellow t-shirt into your jeans.

“Have you seen my-”

Colter found your hair clip on the side. “This?”

“Yes.”

Plucking it from his hands, you moved to find a mirror and twisted your hair around your fingers before clipping it back.

If Colter knew less than a week later he’d be carrying that clip in a bag of your belongings…it wouldn’t have changed anything. But it made him think.

Eventually, Colter and yourself managed to track the stolen animals to a farm across town. They had a couple of abandoned sheds a couple of acres away. Only, yourself and Colter had gotten separated.

And just as he was talking one of the thief’s down from murder, you were fighting for your life, surrounded by caged animals.

By the time your attacker, and the second thief, ran outside, he was met with police cars and armed officers.

Inside the first barn hadn’t just been animals, but also enough drugs to warrant a ten year prison sentence, minimum.

Only, as Colter was talking to the sheriff, he mentioned you.

“And where is your partner? We’d like her to check the animals over before we take them back to their owners.”

“Yeah, she’s…”

Colter looked round and finally spotted you. Except, something was different. Wrong.

He called your name, but you barely heard him. All you could do was look at your hands.

“C-colter.”

That was all it took for him to start running across to you.

“Hey, what- oh my god. Medic! Someone call an ambulance! Hey, hey, hey, what happened?”

All you could do was say his name again before you felt your legs grow weak and your body drop. But he caught you. Barely.

“Whoa, hey, hey, okay. Take it easy. Hey, y/n? Y/n, I need you to stay awake. Can you do that for me?”

“It’s gonna take a while before an ambulance can get out here.”

Colter looked you over. The sheriff was right. And you might not last that long.

“Put her in my car. I can get you there in half the time.”

Colter nodded, moving his eyes back to you. “I need you to stay with me, okay? This is gonna hurt, but we’re gonna get you to a hospital.”

You nodded, weakly.

“Put your arm around me.”

Within seconds, Colter was carrying you to the Sheriff’s car and getting into the back seat with you.

Half way, you passed out, so you couldn’t remember much until you woke up in the hospital a few days later.

But Colter could.

He was applying pressure to your wound, your blood swirling over his hand whilst his mother cradled your head and tried to keep you awake. He called your name. Louder still when you passed out.

It was a whirlwind, pulling up outside the hospital and carrying you inside whilst the Sheriff called for a doctor.

A bed was brought over immediately and you got rushed into the OR. They forced both Colter and the Sheriff to stay behind the doors and all Colter could do was stand there, watching you be wheeled away.

A few hours later, a training nurse walked over and handed him a bag of your things. And his mind went blank.

“Shouldn’t- shouldn’t she have her stuff?”

The nurse nodded. “We’re waiting on a room for her, but it’s best if you keep hold of her things. That way they don’t get lost.”

“S-so, so she’s okay?”

The nurse nodded, with a slight smile. “Your wife is going to be fine. Sore, for a while. And tired. But they say her odds look good.”

Colter felt his entire body suddenly relax and tears came to his eyes. “Oh, thank god.”

“I’ll ask the Doc how long it’ll be before you can see her, but I doubt it’ll be long. Once we get her set up, you can see her.”

“Okay. Thank you. And please, thank everyone for me. I- I don’t even-”

But the nurse just smiled at him. “That’s okay. I’ll be back in a minute.”

As the nurse walked away, Colter sat down holding your bag of belongings in his hand. Inside were your clothes, plus your bloodied t-shirt. Along with your hair clip.

Pulling out his phone, he made a call to Reenie.

“No, no. They said she’s going to be fine.”

“Not that I’m not glad they are, but why are they telling you all of this?”

“I ran in with her and-”

Then it dawned on Colter.

Wife.

“And they think I’m her husband.”

Rennie sighed. “Good. Let them keep thinking that. I’m gonna catch the next flight out. Please keep her safe.”

“Always.”

A few hours later, they let Colter in to see you.

They had you dressed in a hospital gown and you had a couple tubes in your arms. If you hadn’t been slashed with a knife, lay in a hospital and if he still didn’t have your blood on his hands, Colter would have thought you were at home, sleeping.

You looked peaceful.

Still.

Colter placed your belongings at the foot of your bed before sitting in the chair beside your bed. Even the thought of having lost you sent Colter spiralling. Which was why he reached out and touched your hand. He needed to know you were alive.

Then he started counting your pulse from your wrist with the machine beside your bed.

And he did that everytime he came in to see you until you finally woke up.

When you did, Colter was asleep, holding both your hand and your wrist. There was a blanket over his shoulders which you could only guess was from one of the nurses.

It took you a moment but everything came back and the last thing you could remember was Colter’s voice calling your name in the back of the Sheriff’s car.

Carefully, you removed your hand from Colter’s before pushing back the hair from his face.

“Colter?”

It took him a moment before coming round.

“Colter?” You asked once more, your thumb rubbing at his temple.

And when he did finally open his eyes, it took him a moment before he realised you were awake.

His hand came to yours before he placed it in both of his hands and he stood up. “You’re awake.”

It wasn’t long before a nurse came inside with a bright smile, once she saw you were awake.

“You’re lucky your husband got you here as quickly as he did. Breathe in for me.”

You leaned forward a little more, looking at Colter who had a little coy smile on his face. Clearly he hadn’t shut down the ‘husband’ thing. You took a deep breath in.

“Reenie’ll be glad to know you’re finally awake.”

And she was. She arrived a couple of hours later, rushing inside before hugging you as tight as she could without hurting you.

It wasn’t long after that, along with a few teasing words from Reenie about being ‘the happy couple’, that she got called away for a case and you were finally discharged.

“She’ll need help changing her bandages,” The nurses explained to Colter, handing him a couple extra supplies and a list of things you’d have to get and how to use them.

It was never a second thought to Colter to bring you back to his home. He could have driven you the hour and a half to your place, but he wanted you close. And safe.

You would be at home, and you would be with him. But…it was just something a little extra.

And you never questioned it. In fact, you avoided bringing it up to avoid the conversation that you should go home and that he should leave, most likely, for his next case.

And when you asked him to stay, you were glad he did so.

Because falling asleep in his arms was the place you felt most safe.

#colter shaw #colter shaw x fe!reader #colter shaw x reader #tracker cbs #tracker disney plus #tracker tv show #tracker x reader #xreader #fluff #hurt angst #mistaken for husband and wife #angst #justin heartly

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polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 11 months ago

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What is your opinion on Toji? Both as a character and as a (deadbeat) dad?

As a character he's masterfully written, and him being a deadbeat dad is an absolutely vital part of that.

Toji and Gojo exist fundamentally as mirrors of one another. Equal and opposite images. Infinite cursed energy and absolute zero. Both were born as the most powerful members of their clan alive, but Gojo was lauded for his gifts, whereas Toji was rejected.

Even the way the universe itself treats them (and the way they treat it in turn) are inverses of one another. According to Gege, Gojo is naturally good at everything he tries, and so he doesn't try most things. In converse, Toji is a natural failure who can't stop trying. He's a gambler who loses all of his money but is still parked at the tracks, placing bets that never win. As foils they work so so well.

Taken alone, Toji himself is fascinating because of how much he's aching with failure and lost potential. It reeks of a true tragedy--and, like most tragedies, a good deal of it was of his own making even if circumstance can't be denied. He's Hamlet: introduced to his own downfall by events outside of himself but fuck if he didn't help it on plenty on his own.

Toji is a character who was cast as cursed from birth. He was born extraordinarily powerful in a clan that refused to see it and actively vilified him for his abilities. And as the audience, we can see the sheer affront of that, because we can see him for how he truly is. He's very, very plainly one of the most powerful characters in the franchise. Gojo himself initially loses to him, and if Toji had listened to his instincts that day and left the second he saw Gojo returned? He'd probably have remained undefeated against him. He'd have survived to cause problems in canon even farther down the line.

And it's especially interesting in the fact that Toji is a character who can do something that no other character in the series can do: he can destroy fate.

Toji himself is a functional loophole in canon. From a meta perspective, Gojo functions as this archetype of the Unbeatable, but Toji is the exception. When it comes to the Star Plasma Vessel, fate should have ensured that the merger happened anyway, but Toji, again, catalyzed the exception. Gojo and Toji colliding is the unstoppable force meeting the unmovable object, and the sheer waste that the Zenin out of hand rejected someone that could rival Gojo Satoru stings at the audience with a particular sort of irony. They really did throw away with both hands the person that could have made them rival Gojo, and they did it because of their own prejudices and egos. Toji's story really is one of a tragedy, but the execution of him really does function uniquely in the genre.

And to speak briefly on tragedy--if we're talking about the classical conception of tragedy, it's defined by a reversal of fortune. It's good fortune to bad. Peripeteia. That's legitimately what makes a narrative a tragedy--the audience watches as the character's fortune reverses over the span of the narrative.

In the term of the broader narrative, Toji himself acts as peripeteia personified. He is what reverses Gojo's fortune. Gojo was his downfall, but at the same time, he was still Gojo's.

Gojo starts his interaction with Toji in a state of good fortune. He is already One of The Strongest. And, more importantly, he isn't the strongest alone--which is something he spends the rest of the narrative trying to reclaim. Every single time he teaches, he's trying to encourage the students to become his equal, with Yuuji, Megumi, and Yuuta being the most notable exceptions of this. Yes, he's doing it for their own wellbeing, but that doesn't change the fact that he's still trying to cultivate a status quo that he had and lost with Geto Suguru for other people. And he says this explicitly: he does not want them to be alone. It's the loss of Geto that truly defines Gojo's tragic arc, and it was Toji himself that caused Geto's loss.

He made Gojo The Strongest when he pushed him to the point of unlocking reversed curse energy. But, more importantly, he sent Geto on his descent into madness. Even calling himself a monkey was what fed into Geto's ideals--if it weren't for Toji, it wouldn't have happened.

The other thing that defines a tragedy is that tragic heroes are meant to be sent on their downfall because of some kind of fatal flaw. Hamartia. Outside circumstances set the ball in motion, but it's the character's own flaw that truly dooms them. A very famous example of this is Hamlet, who was set on his path to destruction by his father's ghost and his uncle's deceit, but what's widely considered to be the source of his change in fortune is his decision to not kill his uncle as he prays. Hamlet is a famously clever character, and this works against him as he decides to play god and try to not only revenge his father, but ensure his uncle's eternal damnation. It's only then that he begins to make the mistakes that ultimately doom him. If he had killed him in the moment and left his uncle's soul to God's own deliberations, then he would have likely survived the play just fine. He damns himself just as much as circumstances did.

If we accept the premise that Gojo's story is one of tragedy, then we have to ask what his fatal flaw is. And I'd argue that it's his own isolation.

Gojo is strongest on his own, but every thing he's ever lost can be linked back to the isolation that comes with that. Most notably, again, being Geto Suguru, and the fact that Kenjaku was able to use Geto's body as the way of sealing him. Gojo's own untouchability is what leads him on the path to his own destruction, and it's something that Toji specifically takes advantage of in the course of their fight, and it's something that he exacerbates when he inadvertently leads to Gojo's permanent loss of Geto. Toji really is the one to best expose Gojo's fatal flaw and take advantage of it.

But the interesting thing about Toji is that he really begs the question as to whether his own journey is that of a tragedy or a comedy.

Okay, so not to open this huge can of worms with classical infighting, but all of the definitions that we get regarding what makes a tragedy comes from Aristotle's Poetics, and the second book of it where he defines comedy is lost to history. We've been fighting about what exactly he meant to say ever since. The book's gone. People say we have ideas about what's in it but the book's fucking gone. It's gone.

Anyway Aristotle's fucking dead and it's my turn to wear the philosopher hat, and I'm saying that it's also a reversal of fortunes from bad to good. If there's any classics scholars reading this please keep walking i can't go back to this war.

There's a really good argument that Toji is a tragedy. Fuck, he has a fatal flaw flying so blatantly that he says it out loud in his death scene--his own pride. His inability to admit to his own failure or potential for it. He wants to win, even when he knows he can't. It's what leads him to fight Gojo a second time. It's what leads him to place bet after bet when he never, ever wins.

But there's one glaring issue: if tragedy is a reversal of fortunes from good to bad, did toji ever have good fortune to begin with?

If it just starts as bad and stays as bad, it's not a tragedy by definition. It feels tragic to the audience, but it's not a tragedy in narrative form. So what is Toji's good fortune in this narrative?

I'd argue it's actually Megumi. And we are left to decide whether or not he lost or gained his good fortune in his last moments of his life.

I've talked about Megumi's function in the narrative with the concept of fortune in other posts, but fuck if I know where they are. Megumi himself, as a character, is not fortunate. He's actually sort of fucked. He's doomed by the narrative from the start, but he does seem to be a sort of fortune for other people.

It's literally in his name. Blessing, but not blessed. A blessing is something that's bestowed on other people; blessed speaks to your own state of fortune. All of Megumi's seeming fortune only exists for the sake of other people, with the most notable example being his Ten Shadows Technique.

Megumi as Gojo's foil is another conversation entirely that I won't go into, but it's interesting how Gojo's relationship with his technique is indisputably one of being blessed, and Megumi is stuck as a blessing. Again, it’s almost explicitly said—Gojo states “I alone am the honored one” when describing his own relationship with his technique. But the Ten Shadows Technique is what consistently dooms Megumi in his own narrative, and it’s usually because of other people.

He was trapped into life as a jujutsu sorcerer because of it, and his relationship with it is interesting because he does not understand its true value but everyone else does. The higher ups. The Zenin. Sukuna. Megumi has no space within the narrative to breathe and grow naturally because other people have taken his existence as a boon to them and use that to his direct detriment. He’s a blessing. He isn’t blessed. He is good fortune for others and it robs him of his own.

And he was Toji’s Blessing first.

In order to really, properly analyze whether Toji’s narrative is a tragedy or comedy or neither, we have to analyze his relationship with his own fatherhood. It’s time for a massive departure into that.

The thing is that toji sort of fucking sucked at being a dad. He was a deadbeat. I’ve seen a lot in fandom that tries to construe his actions as a father in a more favorable light, but I think doing so robs him of his narrative depth.

Specifically, I’m talking about his decision to sell Megumi to the Zenin.

And like. I’ve personally seen a lot of posts that sort of justify it as Toji doing what was best for Megumi, that his family would take care of him better than they did Toji because he had cursed energy, but that's sort of patently untrue? Like, parents who are worried about their kid's wellbeing and are trying to get them guardians with better means don't put off the actual transfer of guardianship because they're still negotiating the purchase price. They don't sell them to a family they know is abusive to begin with. He already knew Megumi had cursed energy. They were just waiting on his technique to appear, specially so that they could settle on the final price, and in that time, Megumi was left with Tsumiki to fend for themselves. If he really thought that the Zenin were going to take care of him, he should have tried to get them to take custody sooner.

Moreover, there's just a lot of steps you can take before selling your kid to your abusive family when it comes to their wellbeing. Namely, actually stepping up to the plate and raising them yourself.

"They'll treat him better because he has curse energy" was Toji's justification for selling Megumi, and it's one he plainly didn't believe himself in the long run, because in the end he risked it all on this sixteen year old gayboy who just killed him rather than actually trust his family to take care of his son. Up to the point of his death, Toji just wasn't a good dad.

He was never around. He left a four year old in charge of a three year old and left them both unattended. He gambled away their money at the tracks instead of, you know, feeding them. The money that he did leave them for food was canonically a part of the down payment for selling Megumi. He was so absentee that he straight up forgot what Megumi's name was.

But, undeniably, it's Megumi who he thought of as he died. It's Megumi he tried to take care of.

Remember that tragedy is classically defined as good fortune to bad, but Toji didn't have any good fortune to start with. Like, he wasn't even living a particularly good life. He was an eternally broke absentee dad with a gambling addiction and an insecurity complex so big he needed to kill those teenage homosexuals over it. I'm pretty sure he only owned one pair of pants.

But if we accept Megumi, the son he once loved so much that he named him blessing, as his one good fortune, then he didn't have him either at the start of action. He had abandoned his only good fortune and left him, ultimately, at the mercy of his family.

And that's what changes on his death bed. Toji finally becomes the type of dad that takes care of his son.

If Toji hadn't died, there wouldn't have been the catalysis for change. He probably would have gone through with the sale. I'd like to think that he'd live to regret it, that he'd go back and save Megumi, but it's really up in the air as to whether or not he ever would. But undeniably, when he tells Gojo about Megumi as a last ditch effort to save him from his family, that's the first moment we really see in canon where Toji doesn't have any ulterior motive when it comes to Megumi. He doesn't get any benefit out of it anymore. His kid is going to be sold off to the Zenin in a few years time. Do with that what Gojo will.

This is even more interesting when it comes to the only moment in canon where Megumi and Toji interact: in Shibuya, where Toji is resurrected and fights Megumi.

To my understanding, Toji was compelled to fight whatever was most powerful in his immediate proximity, which made him go after Megumi. The second he realizes that it's his son he's fighting, he stops the fight, asks for his name, and kills himself to stop the resurrection spell, with his last words being that he's glad Megumi's Fushiguro instead of Zenin. He didn't even hesitate. He didn't take care of his son in life, but he died for him without even needing to think about it.

Saving Megumi from his family (albeit, partially because he was the one who endangered him to begin with) was the only really good thing Toji did with his life that we know of, and he dies glad. He dies knowing that Megumi was raised as Fushiguro instead of Zenin.

So. Was Toji's journey one of bad fortune to good? Or good fortune to bad? Or just... bad fortune to still bad fortune? It can be argued for any of them, but it's really undeniable that Toji's failures and successes as a father are integral to his character's complexity.

He was a shit dad. But he died for his son. And I think you lose a huge amount of his character if you deny either of those.

#Fushiguro Toji #jjk #toji fushiguro #papaguro

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fandom-shitposter · 10 months ago

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Back to the beginning

The Bad Batch story begins at the point where the prequel movies end and TCW finishes. Palpatine has risen to power, claimed a palace for himself, and is confident that nothing can stop him now We first see Omega in the scene where Palpatine is giving his address to his new clone slave army in a way that is the exact opposite to the way he appears He's making a virtual appearance, all shadowy and indistinct. A blue flickering holo image of a wrinkled old man shrouded in a cloak and buried in shadows, while Omega is making a personal appearance in a strongly lit blue toned room. She's young and smooth faced and not obscured in any way. She also observes 'her' troops So we're mirroring events once again and Palpatine's rise to power is replayed as Omega's fall from power. She fails to secure her desired 'apprentice', fails to win over the Vader character on the team despite making sure to be there when he regains consciousness, and is then chased from her palace. Later the chip plot is exposed (not that the boys didn't already know about it) and her mini army get their chips removed against her wishes while she can only watch, but the person whose chip goes off and subsequently attacks her only gets stunned instead of killed, unlike poor Fives She wins some small battles by foiling the Batch's plans to work against her behind her back, like in the episode where Echo dresses up as a droid, but overall power just continues to slip from her grasp and there's nothing she can do about it She panics when Hunter is lost, then sabotages Crosshair's plans to get the others to come and help him out with the less obvious subplot that he's been working on all this time, she once more fails to win him over to her side because he has no interest in playing apprentice to her, and by the time S2 starts she's been reduced to trying to offer Hunter gold and jewels while they're on Serenno in a parallel to winning Dooku over with offers of money and glory. Which once more fails to get her the loyalty she desires from him. The main advantage Palpatine ever had was that no one knew that he was the bad guy, but Omega lacks that advantage. They've known what she is and what she's done from before the show started so she was always going to lose Now she's in Tantiss she's further from having any power than she's ever been in her life. Cut off from the outside world and any way of summoning help from her own personal Dooku by the communications blackout and the need to keep the laboratories meticulously clean

She has nothing here, and she's still not going to win over her desired apprentice. All she can do now is maintain her pretence of innocence and try to break out for long enough to call for help before someone with more power than she now has works out what the source of her power is and takes it for themself. And once that happens and things have been publicly exposed she'll be available to get picked up by her long term partner in all of this and and move on to the role she's playing in the Ahsoka show as the Ventress to his Dooku. And this is why we'll be seeing so much of TCW S1 in TBB S3, because we're going back to the start of the prequel era. That means dredging up old characters, referencing old scenes and harking back to old plot points that were dropped in there right from the early days Grievous, Ventress, the Malevolence arc, Wolffe's eye being taken, and so much more So it might be time for a clone wars S1 rewatch if you're feeling up to it, just to refresh your memory In the broader scope of the trilogy of current shows Omega plays out an Anakin like role, but within the Bad Batch show she's nothing more than mirror universe Palpatine

#the bad batch

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loonysama · 2 years ago

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[image: a purple banner with the words Work in Progress Wednesday in a cursive font]

Work in Progress Wednesday

Creators: work on or post something from your WIP. This is your weekly reminder to get something down on paper (real or virtual). It’s also a chance to share your progress with your followers and give them a sneak peek of what’s to come!

Fans: leave a comment on an unfinished fic and let the writer know how much you love it. Reblog an artist’s sketch and let them know you can’t wait to see the final product. Send someone an ask cheering them on!

Feel free to repost this image!

🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️

Thanks @milficwriter for the tag! This is from my upcoming Kristoff x Ryder AU I'm working on for Valentine's Day and Frozen Smut Week.

❤️🐻❤️🐻❤️🐻❤️🐻❤️🐻❤️🐻❤️🐻❤️🐻❤️🐻❤️🐻❤️

Kristoff filled his grill with charcoal briquets, and he set the lighter fluid and the lighter at opposite ends of the table. He inspected the plates to make sure they were still clean, and adjusted the forks that had been blown askew by the wind. Then he folded some carrots into foil and set them on the tray on the side of the grill, and he went ahead and seasoned the steaks even though Ryder hadn't gotten there yet. He could always add more seasoning later.

Then he waited. He still had two minutes to kill, assuming Ryder got there on time. It was reasonable that he might get there a few minutes late, but there really was no way to know.

Suddenly he felt a breeze at his chest, and he felt ridiculous for listening to Anna when she said to unbutton three buttons. He tried two in front of the mirror, and he saw her point. But three felt a little exposed.

"What do you think, Sven?" he asked the dog whining at his feet. "Is it too much?"

The doorbell rang mercifully before Kristoff had any more time to agonize over the stupid button.

Sven greeted Ryder with a full body hug, shoulder massage, and a facial. Kristoff usually pulls him down right away, but Ryder wrapped his arms around Sven, and said, "You must be Sven! It's so good to meet you. I've heard so much about you!"

Ryder's dog Yelana, a small, sassy mutt with matted white hair and cloudy eyes, began barking right away. Kristoff ducked down and let her smell his hand, never missing a single waft of patchouli gifted to him whenever Ryder moved. Yelana sniffed his hand hesitantly and licked his fingers a few times. Then she ran into the house and quickly found a spot near the back door to lie down.

“Alright, Sven,” Kristoff said, and finally removed the dog from Ryder’s shoulders.

He only allowed himself a brief glimpse of Ryder's eyes before he felt a mild flush, but then he accepted that he was going to be just a little red the entire time Ryder was there anyway, so he might as well let himself have the privilege.

"Hey, sorry we're a little late. I went left when I should have gone right. And I mean, your instructions were so clear."

Kristoff smiled until Ryder did, and then they both laughed nervously. Kristoff extended his hand, but Ryder rushed in for a hug.

Kristoff was taken aback, but he enthusiastically folded Ryder into his body so comfortably, followed by a kiss on Ryder’s cheek, and a “Happy Valentine’s Day” whispered into his ear.

Ryder planted a slow and deliberate kiss on Kristoff’s lips, which Kristoff would have extended if Sven hadn't been impatiently banging his tail against the carpet.

“Well, come in,” Kristoff said, stepping out of the way. "We're gonna be on the patio if you want to head over. I'll be right there." Kristoff took his time locking the front door so he could button the third button. But then a hit of patchouli calmed his nerves, and he decided to leave it.

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

Tagging: @keeshya6 @firawren @thecassadilla @leaves-of-laurelin and anyone else who wants to post a WIP Wednesday snippet!

#wip wednesday #frozen #rydoff #kristoff #ryder #frozen smut week #frozen fanfic

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cygnusdoesthings · 4 months ago

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I mean. That works. But I was thinking more retorty. Like. Cutting things. Like. Responses to bullies in fics.

You’re the human equivalent of a participation award. You're like if a naked mole rat and a bald ostrich mated. You're like a corpse flower, the way you smell. You should apologise to the tree that's purpose is simply to replace the air you breathe. You are single-handedly bringing down the world's IQ. You would win the Darwin Award. Your standards are so low that it's a tripping hazard in Hell. Your grades are even worse. Your hygiene is that of a teen going through puberty, and the only reason you're a leader of your friend group is because they all take pity on your stupidity. I bet you'd walk into a glass door. You'd look into a mirror and laugh at yourself because you didn't know it was you. I bet it took you years to figure out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' and the ABC song has the same melody. I thought you were smart, but then you opened your mouth. That's because light travels quicker than sound, by the way, because I'm assuming you don't know that. You know, because of the way that can't even make your own lunches. You can't tell the difference between 'desert' and 'dessert. If minor inconveniences were personified, you'd be the spitting image of it. If I showed you a picture of an apple and an orange, you'd say they were the same thing. If being smart and likeable was a person, you'd be the foil to it. Foil is the opposite, by the way. It's an English term, just so you know, which I'm assuming you don't, because you're about as smart as a newborn dust mite, and half as significant as one. And while we're on the topic of dust mites, did you know it's actually their shit that people are allergic to? Again, another similarity between you.

All of these have been made up by me except for the light travels faster than sound, the naked mole rat, and the tree.

Tumblr, I need your help. What are your most creative, scathing insults?

(Please reblog this so it gets to the most people. Smiles.)

#cyg chats #quotidian convos

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blueskittlesart · 2 years ago

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Opinions on fi as a companion? A lot of people dislike her personality but I find her endearing

fi was an ok companion except for the fact that i played the wii version and every single time i restarted the game she would go through the whole "master, your health is getting low" dialog when i got under 3 hearts and it was annoying as FUCK. thematically i think she works well as a companion but also (and more so, imo) as an eventual foil for the weapon that ghirahim becomes. watching him slowly become less and less human and more and more weapon until he eventually becomes almost a mirror image of fi, the companion you've grown to rely on and trust over the course of the game, was honestly a really cool thing to experience for the first time. She and ghirahim are particularly well-written foils because as he becomes less human she becomes more so, and yet their arcs both culminate in them going dormant inside their respective masters' swords, but FOR OPPOSITE REASONS. Ghirahim offers himself completely to demise as a last-ditch effort to appease him and to win the battle against link. he is completely relinquishing control and turning himself into an object of destruction with no will of its own. Fi, on the other hand, goes dormant after the battle has been won, and her decision to leave link is not so that she may be used to win a battle, but because her battle has already been won because link was so connected to her and able to use her to her full potential. Because he spent so much time working with her and bonding with her and nurturing the master sword that she became so human, so able to empathize and understand him, that she knew immediately when her job was done, and that she had to leave in order for link to live his life uninhibited. TLDR i think fi was a REALLY good companion narratively speaking lol

#add this one to the list of things i didnt realize i felt strongly about until someone asked me <3 #asks #zelda analysis

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my2phetaliaheadcanons · 2 years ago

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Genuine Question, I know the 2p is supposed to be like, a darker version of the normal Hetalia, but what are the general rules for creating them?

2p’s are very interesting and fun to create. Personally, I don’t think there is a wrong way to create them, but I’ll start off with a bit of their history and then go into how I do it. Also, those unspoken rules.

Hidekaz Himaruya made released images of his characters with alternate designs. In his comments about the images, he said they were drawn as if they ran their own evil organizations (1). Mix that, the darker designs with an anime/manga with no set villain and BOOM! The 2ps were officially, unofficial.

This is part of the reason why they started so dark. It also allowed people to explore a deeper foil for these characters. Digging deeply into the sins of their own country and force the representative to confront them. Sometimes that was shown by having them being an internal entity that waits for the cracks in the mental wall like a predatory beast behind cage walls. Other times it was a physical being that was scorned residing within the same universe or in another one connected by the reflection of a mirror.

That is the interpretation that I enjoy. I loved reading all the stories that were sprinkled with horror and thriller elements due to the 2ps coming to collect what they believed was theirs, even IF they were wrong.

Over time it turned to a focus on flipped personalities and appearances rather than the villain mindset. There isn’t anything wrong with it and some of the stories are actually pretty cute.

But I will admit, as it grew more popular, I longed for the darkness that originally attracted me to their themes in the first place. Which is part of the reason why I started writing for them and why mine have that darkness within them and gave them the purpose of protectors and providers. Plus being inspired by lots of different authors.

On to the rules!

There actually aren’t a lot. Mostly just make your 2p the opposite of the 1p. For mine, I liked including some commonalities due to their similar upbrings. Almost like one would see in siblings, but then switching around some key traits to create someone new.

I’ll use both the Americas for example.

Both Allen and Alfred are loud and prefer actions to words. Where they differ is that Allen knows when to bow out and regroup. Alfred on the other hand will stick to the same strategy until it kills him. This can be broken down even further via people’s own interpretation of these two characters.

Another example would be my short; Bonding. This one show some of the differences that are shown when both French representatives interact.

If you want to make them dark or evil go for it. If not, you can make them as lighthearted as you prefer. These are fan creations and are yours once you create them. Have fun and make it yours!

I’m sorry this turned out to be so long. I hope it answers your question and feel free to ask more!

https://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Another_color#cite_note-anaza-1

#2p hetalia #2p headcanons

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aspoonofsugar · 3 years ago

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It's interesting how the semblances of Neo and Emerald are similar but they work differently (Emerald internalizes and Neo externalizes).

Hello anon!

Yes, I quite like how Emerald and Neo’s semblances are at the same time similar and very different and I would love for them to be used to foil the two characters more. Who knows? Maybe we will get a deeper foiling in volume 9.

As for now, we can just try to compare their two semblances and highlight how, even if they have simiral effects, they are at their roots opposite.

First of all, I have written a little bit about the topic of internalization and externalization here. It is a little bit outdated, though.

Emerald and Neo are both motivated by the love for a person:

Emerald: I don’t care about Salem! But I owe Cinder everything

There was one thing To help escape the misery And now it’s all disarrayed You took my whole life away You sent me back to nothing Now you’ll pay

This is because they lived difficult lives in poverty:

I’m the one Who rose out of filth and was loved by no-one

I was nowhere I had no one I felt nothing Lost without a voice and on my own

But were given meaning by another person finding them and taking them in. As a result, they became very loyal to this person to the point of assisting them in their criminal plans.

However, the two illusionists have also shown some differences.

Emerald’s first reaction to Cinder’s “death” is mostly self-destructive:

While Neo’s one to Torchwick’s is to look for someone else she can project her anger and pain on.

In short, Emerald (for what we have seen) internalizes, while Neo externalizes. This fits with the different nature of their semblances.

As a matter of fact Emerald is able to create individual hallucinations. She enters her targets’ minds and destroys them from inside:

I’m the one I’ll race with your eyes and you’ll never outrun Illusions Will conquer your mind and will make you fulfill my design

Neopolitan’s semblance is about projecting images for everybody to see. She is a living hall of mirrors and the world is her screen to show a silent movie.

Of course, the both came from poverty part has been proven wrong :’’’) Still, the basic idea still works, I think.

So, Neo’s power is about projecting her own mind outside, so that others can see it:

So, at its root, Overactive Imagination is an active affirmation of Neo’s self, but it also shows how self-centered she deep down is. After all, it is an ability that turns Neo’s fantasies and so her vision of the world and personal narrative into reality and forces it on everybody else. It can be seen as an externalization of her interiority in both its potential and its flaws.

Emerald’s semblance instead is about entering others’ minds and mess with them:

As you yourself have said. The first externalizes, while the second internalizes.

Why is that so?

These opposite approaches have to do wtih Neo being fundamentally active and with Em being fundamentally reactive.

Neo has no problem showing others who she is, even if others find her odd. As a child, she tries to repress herself, but she never truly manages it. Her real self always finds a way out. Neo is a character that acts for what she wants. She wants to see the city? She runs away. She wants clothes? She steals them. She wants to escape her room? She burns the house down.

Her being active is shown also in her relationship with Torchwick:

Then a candle's flame Brought a brand new name

The song implies Roman is the one who calls her Neo, but this is subverted in Roman Holiday:

“She had given Neo’s name because her own would have been giving away too much information, but in a way it was an even more personal thing to share. When she heard Roman say it aloud, it felt right.

It felt real.

It felt like her.”

Neo introduces herself as Neopolitan. It is her choice. Roman’s role is simply to accept this choice by using this brand new name.

Emerald is instead scared of showing her true self to others:

Emerald creates a child version of herself who is well dressed and owns a bike. It is a rich version of Emerald because she must think that is the kind of child others would stop by to help. She does not believe she is likable or lovable. This is why she makes an illusory alter-ego, which is both true (she deep down is a crying child) and false (she is a street rat with nothing).

In general, this is Emerald’s way to approach others:

Emerald: Just left the stadium after your amazing fight! You guys were awesome!

Ren: Because she’s scared. Just like us..

Emerald: Or maybe because I know how to get out of here. Anybody coming?

She either fakes an overly friendly demeanor or acts tougher than she is. In any case, she hides her true self.

This is because she is scared she won’t be loved. All in all, Emerald is dependent on others’ approval and this leaves her as mostly reactive. She doesn’t find Cinder. Cinder finds her and Emerald’s first reaction is fear that turns into love when Cinder gives her a surrogate of security. When Cinder “dies”, Emerald does not go on a rampage of revenge. She has a mental breakdown and is literally engulfed by fear (Salem). Later on, when she discovers Cinder is alive, she does not go looking for her, but simply waits for her return.

This is a reactive behaviour and Emerald keeps exhibiting it, even after joining the main group. She does not take action, but reacts to others’ ideas and plans. This is because she is deep down a scaredy cat that needs to grow into her own person.

Of course, all of this has also to do with Neo and Em opposite upbringing and with what they want as a result. Neo wants freedom, while Em wants security.

Anyway, at its root Neo’s semblance is about self-expression, while Emerald’s about trickery and hiding the truth. Why should I let others see the real me? I’ll justy hide, or show them a beautiful woman or a crying girl.

This is also why thematically Neo’s illusions are real, while Em’s have no real consistency.

In short, Neo’s power is an affirmation of the self, while Emerald’s a mask of the self.

At the same time, this also means that deep down Neo’s semblance is about herself, while Emerald’s about others.

In Roman Holiday, Neo’s semblance is used to explore who Neo really is. It comments her growth and self-actualization. Emerald’s hallucinations are about her entering people’s minds and highlighting others’ flaws and projections. Similarly, Neo uses her illusory powers mostly on herself, while Emerald uses them on others.

This also means that Neo’s approach to things can lead her to be stuck in her head, while Em’s, even if timid and flawed has the potential of empathy:

Emerald: I knew I sensed some weak minds nearby.

She can feel others’ minds. She is conscious about others and clearly she can be sensitive to their needs. She just needs to overcome her fear of refusal and earnestly interact with others.

Neo’s inability to see outside herself has instead led her to fall and spiral:

So, as you can see, there is actually the potential for a wonderful foiling between these two characters. Unluckily, I am currently missing the interpretative key to really make a proper analysis of these two :’’’). There are some hints here and there structurally, but I still do not have the piece that sends everything clicking, as for now.

That said, maybe it will come in the upcoming volume. Speaking of which, I would love if Em and Neo woulf foil in relation to their relationship with respectively Oscar and Ruby.

As I have written here, Ruby and Oscar themselves seem to have an externalization/internalization foiling somehow:

They seem to have an internal/external motif going on.

This is firstly shown in the battle against Cordovin:

Oscar: Right, but her missile launcher doesn’t lock in, it pops out! Without her shields, one well-placed shot could detonate the missiles while they’re still in the launcher!

Jaune: The missile launcher springs out… but the raw dust gets locked in!

Basically, they make opposite uses of the same weakness. On one hand Oscar thinks to destroy the cannon from the outside. On the other hand Ruby evolves Oscar’s idea and destroys it from inside.

In the Atals arc, the opposite happens (metaphorically).

Just when Ruby is telling the world the truth about Salem, Oscar does same, but in Salem’s inner circle. It is the same basic idea applied externally and broadly and internally and in a focused way.

So, I would love if Oscar’s relationship with Emerald were to foil Ruby’s one with Neo. It can tie with the two characters juxtaposition and complementary journeys.

Thank you for the ask!

#rwby #neopolitan #emerald sustrai #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

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ossifer · 2 years ago

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the most maddening part for me is all the ways they parallel and foil each other

narratively Max is the ultimate subject and Rachel the ultimate object; we experience the game through Max's eyes and are given an insight into all her thoughts, memories, and opinions on other characters while Rachel is only extant as secondhand accounts, rumours, graffiti, and her dead body; we come to know Max more intimately than any other character, while we know almost nothing about Rachel that isn't coloured by someone else's perception of her. the subject and object comparison even plays into their aspirations, Max the photographer versus Rachel the model, both sharing an eye for art and images yet being on opposite sides of the camera, a paired symbiosis

Rachel's past actions and her disappearance are what the plot revolves around, but she lacks any agency in the story itself, and in life she was defined by her wish to leave Arcadia Bay but in the end she was unable to do so; Max is the point of view character and the story is all about her character arc, her power grants her more agency than any other character, capable of outright overriding past events like William's death, and the final choice outright allows Max to decide the fate of Arcadia Bay — and Chloe, who Rachel was very close to in life — in a way that contrasts how Rachel was ultimately unable to escape from it

it's strongly implied Rachel was something of a social butterfly in life, flitting between a lot of Blackwell's social groups and having a reputation that outlives her; Max is shown to be a very anxious individual who is paralysed by the prospect of making mistakes until she literally gains the power to rewind unfavourable outcomes, constantly second guessing her choices even after getting the ability to undo them, and is commented upon by others as being quiet and easy to overlook — except in the William lives timeline, wherein she occupies an eerily similar position to Rachel. during the game Max is able to emerge from her chrysalis and emulate Rachel's charisma through her rewind allowing her to game the system, display social tact she lacks without it, say the right thing

oh and speaking of overlapping positions, Max and Rachel literally occupy the same position in Chloe's life. when Max leaves, Rachel takes her place, becoming the closest person to Chloe during her five hear absence, and when Rachel goes missing? Max comes back. they never meet, but they each fill the space the other's absence leaves. it's the same with Victoria (who also mirrors Chloe!): she's antagonistic to Max for reasons unique to Max but it's easy to put it down to the ways Max resembles Rachel, and read it as Victoria's fear/resentment of Rachel being inherited by Max

we don't know for sure what Rachel and Max would've thought about each other had they met in life, what their relationship would've been, but like you said, that's what makes amberfield so interesting! it's a ship defined by negative space, letting your mind fill in that absence by interpreting what we know and extrapolating their relationship from it

(that being said I will always hate dontnod for not even giving us a glimpse of rachel in the alt timeline! I know her full time job is haunting the narrative but fuck, couldn't you have given us a picture of them together at least? 😭)

obsessed with amberfield rn because it can be so many different things depending on how you interpret literally everything about the game

#rachel amber #max caulfield #amberfield #life is strange #i just. i love them okay? i have Thoughts #thanks for the tag ash lol i needed to get this out my system

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magicaththedemigod · 4 years ago

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an extensive analysis of “the song of achilles” by madeline miller

Or: things I noticed and couldn't keep to myself.

Because I just finished reading it and have many feelings about it, I've decided to compile all of them into a very lengthy Tumblr post.

This will be broken up into three parts:

1. Foreshadowing

2. Dramatic (and regular) Irony

3. Fatal Flaws

1. Foreshadowing

Miller does such a delightful job with foreshadowing. The number of quotes I could be spitting at you right now... but I digress. The main job of foreshadowing, especially in a tragedy like "The Song of Achilles," is to set the characters up for their tragedy.

What I like most about how Miller goes about it in this book is that she doesn't attempt to pull a shocking twist out of nowhere; instead, she takes an approach which allows the reader to fully marinate in their despair.

For example, this quote:

Achilles shook his head, impatiently. "But this was a greater punishment for her. It was not fair of them." "There is no law that gods must be fair, Achilles," Chiron said. "And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Do you think?"

Let's take a moment and unpack some of this. For context, this is a conversation between Patroclus, Achilles, and their mentor Chiron. They're discussing the tale of Heracles, who's driven to madness and ends up killing his own wife and kids.

From reading the book, (SPOILER ALERT) you know that Achilles' own pride and honor end up forcing Patroclus to impersonate him in order to save the Greek army, and in doing so is killed by Hector. The fact that Chiron directs this question, "And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Do you think?" to Achilles, who is left behind after Patroclus' death is such delightful foreshadowing that I almost threw the book across the room when I first read it.

Achilles slumps into such a depression after Patroclus dies (really, after he kills Patroclus with his own fatal flaw), that he even loses the ability to care about his fame or honor anymore. He feels the greater grief, so to speak.

Even after he dies, Patroclus is left behind, unable to rest properly because they never put his name on the tomb. In that sense, Patroclus is then the one left behind, experiencing loneliness and grief.

The book is full of little hints like this, and that's part of why it's almost torture to read as someone who knows how the Iliad goes. As I said before: the foreshadowing in this book is meant to have the reader in pain from the beginning because you know nothing is going to work out in the end.

2. Dramatic (and regular) Irony

Yes, that's right. I'm about to rip into your soul.

Probably one of the biggest parts of classical Greek myths is dramatic irony (the audience knowing something the characters don't). In plays, the ending is almost always announced before the play begins. In fact, the audience most likely already knows the story from previous tellings or just general knowledge. It makes sense that it would be one of the biggest players in "The Song of Achilles."

As usual, let's start with a quote:

His eyes opened. "Name one hero who was happy." I considered. Heracles went mad and killed his family; Theseus lost his bride and father; Jason's children and new wife were murdered by his old; Bellerophon killed the Chimera but was crippled by the fall from Pegasus' back. "You can't." He was sitting up now, leaning forward. "I can't." "I know. They never let you be famous and happy." He lifted an eyebrow. "I'll tell you a secret." "Tell me." I loved it when he was like this. "I'm going to be the first." He took my palm and held it to his. "Swear it." "Why me?" "Because you're the reason. Swear it." "I swear it," I said, lost in the high color of his cheeks, the flame in his eyes. "I swear it," he echoed. We sat like that a moment, hands touching. He grinned. "I feel like I could eat the world raw."

First of all: cute. Second of all: wow, so much pain.

As you know, Achilles is the opposite of happy at the end of the book (well, maybe after they die, but we'll get to that later). Though he swears it here with Patroclus, the two of them make decisions that ultimately lead to their downfall: Achilles decides to abandon the Greeks after they slighted his honor, Patroclus decides to help them even if it means risking his life, and Achilles lets him do it.

So let's talk about dramatic irony. The irony here is that you know, maybe just from this exchange alone, that Achilles isn't going to be the first happy hero. You know there is a war coming, know that Achilles and his famous heel will get himself killed. You might also know at this point that Patroclus will die first and send Achilles spiraling into grief before that happens.

It's painful, truly. Achilles spends his last days in utter agony, wanting to die but unable to kill himself, and Patroclus can only watch on as a ghost (spirit?). Even when Achilles does die and his ashes are put into their urn (seriously, how did any scholar ever think they weren't lovers?), they still have to wait to be reunited.

But there's still more. Consider these lines:

Hector's eyes are wide, but he will run no longer. He says, "Grant me this. Give my body to my family, when you have killed me." Achilles makes a sound like choking. "There are no bargains between lions and men. I will kill you and eat you raw."

Sound familiar? That's right: "I will kill you and eat you raw" sounds an awful lot like "I feel like I could eat the world raw," doesn't it? Another parallel from Miller: one from a time of happiness, the other from a time of extreme grief. However painful it is, I really live for connections like that.

And I've got one more for you:

Achilles shook his head. "Never. He is brave and strong, but that is all. He would break against Hector like water on a rock. So. It is me, or no one." "You will not do it." I tried not to let it sound like begging. "No." He was quiet a moment. "But I can see it. That's the strange thing. Like in a dream. I can see myself throwing the spear, see him fall. I walk up to the body and stand over it." Dread rose in my chest. I took a breath, forced it away. "And then what?" "That's the strangest of all. I look down at his blood and know my death is coming. But in the dream I do not mind. What I feel, most of all, is relief." "Do you think it can be prophecy?" The questions seemed to make him self-conscious. He shook his head. "No. I think it is nothing at all. A daydream." I forced my voice to match his in lightness. "I'm sure you're right. After all, Hector hasn't done anything to you."

See where I'm going with this? I don't think I need to explain this one.

3. Fatal Flaws

That's right, one of the most essential pieces for a tragedy: hamartia. For those who might not know, hamartia is the fatal flaw that ultimately leads to the downfall of a tragic hero or heroine. In every single piece of classical greek writing, if the story is a tragedy, the main character will have a fatal flaw that makes it so.

Take Achilles:

I looked at the stone of his face, and despaired. “If you love me-”

“No!” His face was stiff with tension. “I cannot! If I yield, Agamemnon can dishonor me whenever he wishes. The kings will not respect me, nor the men!” He was breathless, as though he had run far. “Do you think I wish them all to die? But I cannot. I cannot! I will not let them take this from me!”

You probably already know what his fatal flaw is: pride. He needs the fame, needs the glorious memory of his deeds to live on forever, so badly that he is willing to sacrifice his life and what might’ve been a fulfilling and long life with Patroclus out of the limelight. His fatal flaw is what spurs each of his actions in the later half of the book, including the moment where he decides to leave the Greeks to their deaths for slandering him.

Even Patroclus has a fatal flaw: his love for Achilles.

That night I lay in bed beside Achilles. His face is innocent, sleep-smoothed and sweetly boyish. I love to see it. This is his truest self, earnest and guileless, full of mischief but without malice. He is lost in Agamemnon and Odysseus’ wily double meanings, their lies and games of power. They have confounded him, tied him to a stake and baited him. I stroke the soft skin of his forehead. I would untie him if I could. If he would let me.

Though riding into the center of the fighting, especially dressed as Achilles, will make Patroclus the prime target, he decides to do it anyway. And not out of fear for Achilles’s life; he knows how important his pride and reputation is to him, and out of desperation will do anything to keep Achilles from being devastated when it doesn’t work out for him.

(Honestly, this is the part where I start to hate Achilles for doing this to Patroclus... it’s like he doesn’t even consider Patroclus his equal and does everything without consulting him.)

Of course, Agamemnon has a fatal flaw as well. He is like the mirror image of Achilles, so proud and stubborn, righteous and arrogant. However, he is the darker image, the one that revels in taking things by force and, of course, raping women like Briseis. He serves as a poignant foil for Achilles, highlighting all the ways the traits they share can easily become corrupted. It’s part of why this novel works so well.

I hope you all enjoyed this book as much as I did. Truthfully, I did have a few problems with it, but I wanted to trying picking it apart anyway. And if you haven’t read the song of achilles... what are you doing reading these spoilers??

#why can you visibly see where i get tired #achilles #greek myth aesthetic #analysis #patroclus #song of achilles #greece #greek posts #not the language though #this is so long #effort #first time ive ever wanted to write an essay #dark academia #dark acadamia aesthetic #this took me three days #greek mythology #iliad #homer

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sakkac · 4 years ago

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re: fumetsu no anata e as of chapter 139.2

this started as a response to @bestbonnist‘s post on chapter 139.2 but now i’m just dissecting differences and similarities between tonari, mizuha, and kahak like im writing an essay for a uni class. i interchangeably use he/they pronouns for fushi and my writing may be clumsy (bc im not actually writing for uni ❤️).

mizuha is a broken mirror to tonari (and kahak a foil to the two aforementioned) in this modern-day arc, especially in their expressions of love for fushi. tonari’s love for fushi is aged over hundreds of years and mizuha’s, at first glance, is an infatuation just based on how long they’ve known each other. im the biggest kahak stan ever, but even i understand kahak’s love started as an infatuation for parona’s form. though, i’d consider the word infatuation compromised when it comes to defining mizuha’s love, bc u cant be sure if her love for fushi is entirely her own, seeing as it had been passed from generation to generation of guardians.

(chapter 134, read right to left)

tonari and mizuha aren’t that different once you look deeply into the both of them. mizuha’s personality and actions are factors in tonari’s dislike of her, but what ultimately repels tonari from mizuha is that she knows they’re similar, and that manifests most clearly in how she reacts to fushi being with mizuha. i.e. resenting fushi for using her friends’ vessels to help their “love life” in chapter 135.5. she can’t stand mizuha bc mizuha is able to express her love for fushi and fushi does not reject (or accept) it; tonari still hasn’t fully admitted to herself that she likes fushi romantically (perhaps because she can’t separate it from the devotion that led her to harden her body to poisons and to promise her corpse to rest at fushi’s feet), so seeing mizuha appear to progress further than she has irritates her. as for kahak, tonari only has the biases of the other pseudo-immortals and her own of past hayase reincarnations to rely on. (this is not as plot-related, but these two also both like books. kahak read tonari’s fushi book, so i wish they actually met, but in a world where tonari didnt hate hayase beyond death.)

tonari as a child seemed like she thought herself superior to others, perhaps a natural result of her upbringing. she was raised on a prison island, but she herself never committed any crime; banding together w other kids like her, writing about her life in her book (which keeps her separate from or above others in a way). but this thinking ceases at her relationship w fushi. however, i believe this started before they even met. tonari’s childhood dream at seven years old was to write a book her father would be impressed by. she also used to believe in god, while her family was still whole. she even prayed to god when he decided to participate in the tournament in chapter 35. however, she stops referring to god by the time her father had shown tarnish. coincidentally, she meets fushi, who would “upend everything... jeannanda and [her] fate.” she ends up, instead of writing for her father, writing a book to allow a peaceful existence for fushi for whenever they decided to come back. this act shows that the adult tonari has written fushi to a level above her, out of her reach.

(chapter 35)

here i’ll quote ray’s words about kahak and tonari: “she also has a surprising amount in common with Kahaku, too, with the ‘I want to protect you even if you disagree.’” the way tonari had waited and honed her body for fushi resembles kahak’s attachment; she had finished living for herself, so now she was only allowing herself to live to further create an ideal vessel for fushi (which also brings up one of hayase’s goals). the difference is that kahak lived for fushi because, as raikkousaki said, fushi was the only thing he was “ALLOWED to live for.” however, while tonari is unquestionably devoted to fushi now, what pulled her to him was black hood’s coercion. as a result of black hood’s words to her, she manipulated fushi into helping her solve her problems, to save her from the island. this first “meeting” also revealed that she was attracted to their white hair; she later admits that she admires their fair skin, contributing to the idea that she could view fushi as the equivalent of a god or at the least, a vision of purity (which is :/ imo, bc of her dark skin). we should also keep in mind that, this, technically her first impression of fushi, and his later display of violent immortality in the arena would further his image as a “legend.”

mizuha was exposed to fushi’s immortality and reveres him like tonari and kahak respectively do and did. instead of the specific word “legend,” it’s “immortal monster.” her first formal exposure to fushi’s fabled power was not unlike tonari’s, since mizuha had went into her grandfather’s library and read on fushi in chapter 124.1. after this, she manipulates fushi to save her, again paralleling the beginning of tonari’s relationship with fushi, but it’s from her overbearing mother and herself. both tonari and mizuha forced their problems onto fushi, but mizuha doesn’t have black hood stepping in front of her saying “you must lead him.” instead, she may have been influenced by the left hand, but i believe mizuha’s thoughts are majorly her own (left hand lies in wait within mizuha’s consciousness like a predator), and what they appear to say is that she’s leading fushi until he decides to follow her willingly. as for kahak, we only have a few pages on his childhood and what we can make of it and of his actions as an adult is that he was willing to follow fushi wherever they went, until left hand betrayed them both.

mizuha’s superiority complex comes from a different place than young tonari’s; she was a prestigious child from young, in addition to her fear of her uniqueness fading as she aged. this caused her to feel separate from other children. when she meets fushi, she sees how different he is from everyone else and uses subtle ways to keep him with her, while never directly admitting she wants him to stay with her, except for ch 125′s “i’m scared. stay with me tonight,” after her mother’s sudden murder. she usually uses excuses instead, like cutely demanding fushi to walk with her after school and go on dates with her.

(chapter 36 vs. chapter 128.2)

as fushi was introduced to the people around tonari and mizuha, they received similar reactions, i.e. “your hair is so pretty!” and “woah, his hair is white!” in the pages following these, the similarities continue into tonari and mizuha gaining ownership over fushi: in ch 36 oopa declares “tonari found him. so he belongs to tonari,” while the islanders try to get on fushi’s good side, and in ch 128 fushi goes out of their way to ask which club mizuha belongs to when asked to join a club (vocalizing her claim on them so she doesn’t have to directly do so).

(chapters 38, 106, and 139)

when the opening comes for mizuha to actually admit her feelings in chapter 139, she tries, but demands instead, “so... love me.” this recalls kahak’s confession to kai in 105.3, that he wants to “protect fushi’s humanity.” kahak and mizuha were both covered in blood when they spoke, but the atmospheres and characters are different; mizuha is clever w her words, but still too immature to let go of her pride, whereas kahak was the exact opposite. he rid of himself of his pride for fushi when he was a child, but said a lot of the wrong things to fushi when it came down to it. additionally, mizuha, when she wants something, she’ll phrase her words so that it seems like there’s only one choice: to follow her. this has been the case for others including fushi (chapters 120.2′s testing of hanna with “if i died, would you cry for me?” and 132.1′s “i’ll teach you about love” and the following guilt-trip). tonari is more direct with her words and meaning than either mizuha or kahak, bc of her personality. she directly confronts fushi when she realizes he had felt betrayed by her in chapter 38, because she still needed him for his plans. but mizuha is more direct with her actions; in chapter 129.1, she latches herself onto fushi, while trying to get information out of him. after the failed marriage proposal, rather than physically attaching himself to fushi like mizuha, kahak used acts of domesticity and protection to subtly appeal to and maintain his space next to them.

(chapter 38 vs chapter 139)

tonari’s “there are people in this world who are better off dead” above isn’t far from the knockers’ reasoning behind “wishing for death is paramount to being dead” and the reason for mizuha’s mother’s death: left hand decided to “eliminate the cause of [mizuha’s breaking point’s] stress.” what this shows is that tonari can also justify murder, though granted, this is from a hundred chapters ago. however, this black and white thinking comes back in the modern era where tonari holds prejudice against mizuha because of her relation to hayase. tonari knows her dislike of mizuha is unfair, she can’t get around it. tonari is still as prideful as she was when she lived on jeannanda; it’s just that she is able to use fushi to justify her opinions now. i also want to bring up mizuha’s reaction to her mother’s death and funa’s knocker’s “purging and guidance.” mizuha seems comfortable with the sight of death, despite having a more normal childhood than tonari, because her actual main concern overwhelms it; she is always thinking on how she can appeal to fushi (almost like kahak), or in other words, how to salvage her pride. so instead of being concerned over being the actual murderer, she is concerned with appearing as a murderer to fushi.

so to actually answer ray’s question, objectively, tonari’s love is as excessive as kahak and mizuha’s. but personally, i think tonari’s love for fushi right now is also unhealthy, though it comes out of good will. kahak’s love also ended in fushi’s benefit, but it was undoubtedly unhealthy. and ofc, mizuha’s love is also unhealthy; she reaches for fushi for perfection, tonari reaches for fushi for humility.

#fumetsu no anata e #kahak #fnae spoilers #🔖#long

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marvelslut16 · 4 years ago

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Forties themed party

Prompt number: 3 “you did this?”

Fandom: Marvel

Paring: Steve Rogers x reader

Rating: T

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: Swearing probably. Sharon Carter is an ass- I feel like that’s a running theme in my Steve fics.

A/N: I indulged myself with some 40s slang in this piece. I was crying while writing this because it was the first time I’ve listened to the Ink Spots since my Grandma died, so I’m sorry if it sucks.

While Steve Rogers was physically turning thirty-four, he was technically turning one hundred. Every year around his birthday, Steve would swear up and down he didn’t want a big party, and you somehow reigned Tony in every year. But this year. You actually approached Tony first, wanting to throw a big birthday bash for Cap’s hundredth birthday. Steve always got reminiscent of the forties around his birthday, so you approached Tony with the idea of a forties themed party.

Everyone would have to dress in vintage forties clothes, the music would be from then- nothing new, and you even convinced Bucky to wear his old Sergeant uniform- on loan from the Smithsonian. Bucky absolutely loved the idea, he too wanted to be transported back to his old life even for just a few hours. Somehow all the Avengers kept the party a secret from Steve- even Peter and Scott.

The part comes together nicely, Frank Sinatra playing from the speakers, caterers dressed up like they’re in the army, and bartenders choosing between skirts or pants. Bucky was in awe at how you transformed the inside of the banquet hall to look like a dance hall straight out of the forties.

“Happy Birthday, Stevie!” you yell when he walks into the hall. Your voice gets drowned out in the crowd, but his eyes immediately find you, almost like he heard you in particular.

Steve is dressed in his original Captain America uniform, the one he wore for all of the shows- also on loan from the Smithsonian.

Before you can make your way to Steve he’s being swallowed by a crowd of his friends and coworkers, each wishing him a happy birthday. You smile fondly at Steve, before heading to the bar to get a drink. Bucky soon joins you, not wanting to be stuck in the middle of the crowd with Steve anymore.

“Looking good, Sarge,” you smirk, fixing Bucky’s tie as he leans on the bar beside you.

“Not so bad yourself, Doll,” he gives a pointed look at your choice of outfit. “Someone’s being a little obvious today.”

“How on Earth did you convince him to wear that?” you ignore the comment, glancing down at the Captain America USO dancer outfit you found.

“I told him a certain Dame wanted to see him in it,” he chuckles lightly, glancing back at Steve and the now thinning crowd. “Thanks for doing this (Y/N/N), I know it’s for Steve but I didn’t realize how much I missed it.”

“Well it may be Steve’s party, but it’s for you too,” you smile widely at your friend. “You weren’t here for me to throw a huge hundredth birthday party for last year.”

“This party’s a real humdinger!” Steve exclaims happily when he reaches you and Bucky, Sharon hanging off his arm.

Sharon Carter, your acquaintance whom you don’t really like. She always seemed to make everything about Steve a competition with you; who he said good morning to first, he got to go on a mission and undercover with him, who he smiled at in a meeting. You’re secretive about your feelings towards Steve, the only person you actually told being Bucky. But Sharon doesn’t try to hide her affections in the slightest, always following him around like a lost puppy.

“It’s like we’re back home,” Bucky affirms, giving you a fond thankful smile.

“I can’t believe Sharon did all this! Steve’s statement shocks you, but the triumphant smirk on Sharon’s face tells you she already took all the credit. If you tell him the truth you’ll look jealous, Sharon no doubt would make a big deal out of it, saying you always try to steal her thunder or something of that nature.

“What are you-” Bucky starts, but you put a hand on his bicep to stop him from continuing, shocking both him and Sharon.

“I couldn’t have planned a better party myself,” you smile sadly,grabbing a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and knocking it back.

You planned on telling Steve tonight, pulling him onto the dancefloor and confessing your feelings for him. Ask him to go steady with you. But your plains have been foiled because of Sharon. Of course Steve has a soft spot for this Carter too.

“Care to go cut a rug?” Bucky sticks a hand out for you to grab. You giggle lightly at the forties speak, but place your hand in his with flourish.

“I’d love to, Sargent,” you giggle louder as he twirls you onto the dancefloor. Billie Holiday’s voice fills the room as Bucky tries to teach you some swing dance moves.

After five songs you and Bucky head back to the bar to grab another drink and to cool down from all the dancing. “You’re quencher, dollface,” he hands you a cold drink.

“Why thank you,” you accept the drink, taking a small sip as your eyes scan the room. You find Steve off in a corner talking to Tony, Sharon surprisingly nowhere in sight.

You cover your mouth in shock as the song Maybe by the Ink Spots starts to play. You close your eyes and you’re transported back to your grandparents' living room when you were a kid. All the little details you’ve forgotten over the years come into focus and it’s like you’re there again. A tear slips down your cheek as you sway slightly along to the song.

“I remember my Grandparents dancing to the Ink Spots when I was a kid,” you admit, feeling Bucky’s concerned gaze on you. “All I’ve ever wanted is a love like theirs.”

“Can I have this dance, sweetheart?” you open your eyes at Steve’s gentle voice. He gives you a small smile, reaching up and wiping your tears away.

You're acutely aware of the fact that he’s never danced with a woman before, anytime anyone asked him to dance at a party he’d always say he was waiting for the right partner. He told you about his missed date with Peggy, the both of you convinced at that time he’d never want to dance with anyone else.

You nod, placing your hand in his and letting him lead you back to the dancefloor. He pulls you in close to him and you rock back and forth to the music, the opposite of your dancing with Bucky. You rest your head on Steve’s chest, the mirror image of what your grandparents looked like back in the day. You asked Steve if he liked the Ink Spots back in the day the first time you met him, that question kickstarting your friendship.

“You did this?” he doesn’t need to clarify, but he does anyway. “You planned the party, not Sharon. Don’t even try to deny it, Tony told me this was all your idea.”

“Yeah,” you admit into his chest. “I thought that you’d like being transported back to your time for such a big birthday.”

“This party had your name written all over it,” Steve slowly spins the two of you, the action earning intrigued glances from your friends. “I was surprised when Sharon said it was her idea, and then you didn’t deny it when I brought it up.”

“Sharon’s in love with you, she would just call me jealous if I denied it,” you out Sharon's feelings, if Steve hadn’t already caught on. “I didn’t want to get in an argument with her and ruin your party.”

“(Y/N), I love it,” he pulls back slightly so you’re looking into his eyes. “I love you. I have for a long time now.”

“I love you too, Steve,” you smile at him, ecstatic that he feels the same. “Bucky said I was being a little obvious about my feelings with my outfit today.”

Steve chuckles, eyes racking over your figure, “I love the look, think you could wear it later?”

“Steven Grant Rogers! That’s no way to talk to a lady!” you laugh and playfully smack his arm.

“(Y/N), will you go steady with me?” there’s a small bit of fear in his eyes, but they mainly shine with hope.

“I’d love to, Stevie,” he pulls you in for a kiss, both of you smiling into it. “I was planning on asking you the same thing.”

Permanent tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen @rexorangecouny @mrs-malfoy-always

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hatchetfieldtheories · 3 years ago

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Return to Hatchetfield-Town - TGWDLM Part 3

Have I been putting off this part because of sad Bill? Maybe. Or is it because of all your amazing Ridiculous Hatchetfield Theory submissions? Yeah, you were right the first time. I just can’t deal with sad Bill.

We left part 2 of the TGWDLM rewatch where the Scooby Gang had turned up at the spooky mansion, which can only go well, and we come back in part 3 as they’ve left the tied up resident bad guy alone with the one person who has a weakness for said bad guy.

Links to previous parts

It’s Ted loving time and I make no apologies for it.

Am I the only one who saw the scene with Ted and Charlotte and immediately got sent back to MAMD’s Joey and Sally? It’s so good seeing Joey and Jaime acting opposite each other like this again, they both bring the same amount of chaotic brilliance.

I have no jokes to make for this, I just needed a gif of the “slap” here. Beautiful. Iconic.

Here we see a bit of the true Ted, the Ted we see in Time Bastard. He’s an idiot sure, but its obvious he is actually a hopeless romantic who really cares for Charlotte, underneath an exterior of “sleazeball”.

When I originally read what happens in Time Bastard I will admit it didn’t really fit with the image I had in my head of Ted. Ted is first and foremost played for laughs. He’s selfish and arrogant and funny. But rewatching TGWDLM, especially with Time Bastard in mind, you do see where Joey let’s Ted’s façade drop. You see it at a greater extent later when Charlotte dies and Ted goes off on one to Bill. But you also see it here (I’m sorry Ted fans):

Serious gifs, who is she?

Now. What’s happening in this next little scene? Are we ready for some tin foil hatting?

What do you want Charlotte?

Continuing our theme of characters explaining what they want in clear and certain terms, Charlotte starts praying to God, then Sam wakes up. Was Sam waiting for everyone else to leave before “waking up” in order to target Charlotte? Or were Charlotte’s prayers answered by an Eldritch being with the capability to control the Creedy Chorus? Later Sam says that he “saw god”.

In Black Friday, Linda attempts to issue in the “birth of a god.” God is certainly a word the Devil Dolls are happy to attribute to themselves. Somehow I don’t think it would have mattered if they had gone to a Methodist or Presbyterian church.

Opinion time: Tied Up My Heart is a full on rock bop and deserves way more praise and acclaim. You could have told me this song was from Rock of Ages and I would believed you.

“Don’t you twust me” – serious Wiggly vibes there Sam.

This is kinda catchy Sam!

In part two we briefly discussed when Hidgens became infected, and there is some theories that believe he was infected from the moment he touched the blue brain goo, leading to Show Stopping Number happening.

Charlotte was infected the minute she touched Sam’s brains. Like Hidgens, it happened slowly, but its very clear it had begun to take root in this song. Tied Up My Heart is to Charlotte, what Let It Out is to Paul. They both find themselves dancing without meaning to, they both begin to hear the music. I’ve mentioned previously that Tied Up My Heart is the only song in which there is an offstage chorus, which would be strange unless for the first time we’re hearing the show as Charlotte is hearing it – she’s beginning to hear the rest of the Hive.

The only difference between Charlotte and Paul is their wants during these pivotal numbers. Paul is trying harder to fight the song because his want is to destroy the meteor. Charlotte isn’t able to fight the song because her want is Sam… and the song is giving her that.

I think this is the part of the musical where most people pause and proclaim… what the hell am I watching. Which, you know… valid.

Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is?

Ted just casually predicting the ending of the show. Take out the head and the whole thing falls down – an historically inaccurate statement in the proceedings of Hatchetfield’s apocalypses.

Exhibit A – Taking out the meteor does not stop the hive.

Exhibit B – Sending a Nuke into the Black and White does not stop Wiggly.

I don’t know what Nerdy Prudes will be about but heads up to the characters – maybe don’t try and destroy the root of the issue as your solution.

Obviously there is a lot of story in Emma and Paul’s discussion here, a lot of which gets unpacked and revisited in Forever and Always, but I’m not really going to delve into the specifics of it here. My biggest take away from this conversation is that Emma explains her past, and her intentions for the future, but at no point is it ever clear what her want is.

In a musical where character’s are killed because they want something, is it any wonder Emma is the one who survives at the end? She doesn’t have any big, ultimate want. She’s jaded and tired, until the end… when what she wants is for Paul to have survived.

This shows a clear distinction between how Pokey and Wiggly operate (and the others, but we’ll discuss them when we get to Nightmare Time.) Both of these Bothersome Brothers use wanting as their tool of chaos but in very different ways.

Pokey wants you to want something, in order to tempt you with that in order to destroy you.

Wiggly wants to find holes to fill with exaggerated, artificial echoes of a want.

The new game at Toy Zone – Bop Ted

Does anyone else forget for a bit how amazing Jaime’s voice is and then finds themselves entranced when Join Us and Die happens? I’m sure there is some lore in this song but I’m far too distracted.

If we refer back to our Violence over Time chart from part two of the rewatch you will see we have now fully arrived at the point where the Hive has stopped trying to just entice everyone with fluffy feelings before murdering them, and are now just resorting to “we’re gonna kill you and it’ll hurt a lot.”

I know there is plenty of discussion regarding whether Hidgens is good or bad, infected or not infected etc – but none of that matters. What matters is he makes the same crappy puns I make in inappropriate situations and I think that’s beautiful.

“The Charlotte you knew and loved was gone the minute a note came out her mouth.” – Snape’s back with the foreshadowing again.

Hidgens then proceeds to subject our heroes to a very intricate test to find out who is human, and who is the musical Doppleganger (one of the AJ Holmes fans there). I’ve seen Moana once, and I became obsessed with the bioluminescent crab so I don’t remember any of the other songs apart from Shiny. This is a problem because the only other song I know from Moana has now become Paul’s version of whatever it is he is singing. I refuse to believe there is any other version of that song.

“Their tactic is to hide amongst us, and as their numbers grow, they become more bold.” – yes Hidgens – we’ve all seen the chart.

Acting Masterclass with Corey Dorris

Bill gets a phone call from Alice, she’s stuck at Hatchetfield High and her girlfriend and the other kids have become singing and dancing zombies. Is this a prequel to High School Musical?

Its worth noting that Alice has locked herself in the Choir room – Hatchetfield High’s number one place to hide when things are going badly - x

Look what happened Nightmare Time.

Corey Dorris’ face pulls on every heart string I possess. Not Your Seed is a fantastic song, with some superb singing by Mariah, but the heart of this song is Corey. Bill is a broken man from the moment he echoes Alice’s words that Grace Chastity is a Nerdy Prude. And the voice crack!

Small warning here for a very brief discussion about suicide. If you want to skip past scroll to the next gif.

The song is an attempt to bring Bill to the Hive, but I think the plan from the start was to push him to shoot himself. Bill wants his daughter back, he wants her to be a part of his life, but unlike with Charlotte, where Hive!Sam attempts to convince her he’s not really dead and wants her, Hive!Alice uses Bill’s want to break him further and further, swinging between Alice’s love and disdain for her father. This isn’t an attempt to lay a trap and kill him when he falls in it, it’s a blatant push towards him killing himself. The Hive only picked up the gun because Paul was there to stop him.

I also find the mirror of this moment to later in Watcher World very fascinating. We obviously know Pokey and Blinky are brothers, and I wonder if the set up leading Alice to point a gun at Bill in Watcher World is Blinky’s twisted humour, echoing what he knows happened in another timeline. A horrible joke that would be lost on Bill and Alice in that timeline, but very recognisable to all of us Watchers.

Once again the Hive could have easily killed Paul, but they don’t. They make a big song and dance (get it?) out of how the guns not good enough to kill him with and then they start singing at him just in time for the army to turn up. The Hive had no intention of killing Paul yet, though obviously they can’t let him know that. Paul has been chosen as their Hero. He’s got work to do.

Hatchetfield High Homework

Just the one this week, I’m currently doing an Ask series where I attempt to make ridiculous sounding Hatchetfield Theories make sense. You can find them by searching Ridiculous Hatchetfield Theories. Go and have a look and follow the wonderful people sending them in.

When the rewatch returns, we get our first peep into the world of PEIP.

#return to hatchetfield town #hatchetfield #starkid #hatchetfield theory #hatchetfield theories #team starkid #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm

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linkspooky · 4 years ago

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Eren and Historia

Eren and Historia have a connection to one another. No, I don’t think they are romantically connect, nor do I believe they are co-conspirators plotting to destroy the world together. However, the narrative is pushing the idea that Eren and HIstoria are somehow connected and continually pushing them next to each other. Eren kissing Historia’s ring is the trigger for his vision that commits him to the path of destroying the world. Eren uses Historia as a reason to accelerate his plan. Eren confides his plan solely in Historia. The reason this line is drawn between the two characters is that they are CHARACTER FOILS. Eren and Historia are two people who seem like opposites but they’re actually incredibly similiar to one another. Almost too similiar to ever et along. The extreme similarities between Eren and Historia, and their character foiling underneath the cut.

1. Historia’s Regression

So I’ve gotten countless asks on my opinion of Historia’s behavior in the final arc. My opinion is that we’re being shown the result of her regression to her pre-uprising arc self. Is this the best writing choice for Historia’s character? I do not know. There are two schools of literary analysis that boil down to “Is the writing good?” or “what is the author trying to say?” and I much prefer to stick to the latter. I think the text is attempting to portray Historia regressing on her character arc, and as a person to mirror Eren’s own regression.

Everybody is regressing in the final arc. Armin lets his poor self-esteem sabotage his decision making ability like he did in Trost. Mikasa is struggling to find a way to live without Eren and see herself as a person seperate from Eren because of her codependent nature, once again like Trost. Annie wants to pretend that this all has nothing to do with her, like in the female titan arc. Hange can’t make a decision without Erwin around and wants to leave it all up to him even though he’s literally dead. The characters in the final arc are written as still struggling with what we think they should have gotten over with in earlier arcs. Heck, Jean still beats up Reiner over what happened to Marco.

It’s not because after all this time the characters haven’t progressed in their character arcs at all. It’s because the story structure of Attack on Titan is chiastic. The beginning and the end are written to mirror each other.

Chiastic structure, or chiastic pattern, is a literary technique in narrative motifs and other textual passages. An example of chiastic structure would be two ideas, A and B, together with variants A' and B', being presented as A,B,B',A'.

Sometimes instead of character development being a straight journey from point A to point B, it’s instead more like a helicopter hovering around the point, continually circling it. The character has brief moments of revelation where you think they’ve had their big change only to regress later. Lemme use this example from Tokyo Ghoul to illustrate my idea.

A character seems to be progressing, and we believe they are, only to regress in the end. I think narratively there is a very strong reason for Isayama using this style of character development. Every single major character is either a child soldier right now just barely on the cusp of adulthood, or they like Levi were child soldiers at one point or another. The adults, few that they are, are all either cast as incapable of acting as strong decisive role models (Hange) or are killed off eventually (Erwin).

It’s like what Magath expresses in his final words, these children were never allowed to have a normal life because of him. If the narrative is about the evils of using child soldiers on both sides, both the Scouting Corps and Marleyans, then it would make sense that every single character is portrayed as either a child unable to grow up or an adult that has continually failed them.

What we are being shown is every major character with an arc struggling with being unable to truly grow past who they were as children. Even when given the oppurtunity to grow, they falter with it, because they are child soldiers stunted by their trauma and that’s not an easy thing to overcome. Rather than a straight line we’re shown a circular process. Gabi and Falco are the only characters being shown with fully straight line arcs, but they are also far simpler than the other characters because they are children, and not stunted adults acting like children. Armin is passive, day dreaming, indecisive like he was when he was a child. Mikasa is overly attached to Eren like she was when she was a child. Heck, even Connie’s major flawed decision this arc is wanting his mother to return. Whcih is a symbol of wanting to return to the safety of childhood that he was suddenly and abruptly cut off from.

Okay, that was a long tangent but I hope I have made my point on what I mean by regression. Eren and Historia are paralleled with each other because they more than anyone else, are regressing to their childhood selves. Where we see at least hints of progress with other characters (Armin, MIkasa, Jean) indication that they will eventually rise to the responsibility of adulthood we see only stagnation for these two characters. It’s because once again Eren and Historia are incredibly similiar as people. Heck, even the fact that they’re regressing the most is paralleled. The same chapter in which Eren declares he’s using the child Ymir’s power to destroy the world, we’re shown a flashback of Historia first and foremost.

Eren empathizes with little girl Ymir, and Historia was told as a child that she should learn to be like Ymir, always kind and always putting others first. They both see themselves in Ymir and it symbolizes why they are connected, because deep down they are both that powerless little child.

There are two big connections between Eren and Historia immediately. Number one is that the inciting incident of their trauma is the same. Yes, Historia grew up in a household where she was eteranlly bullied and belittled where Eren grew up fairly love and secured but they both suffer from the same traumatic incident.

A titan suddenly killed the person who was the symbol of unconditional love and security in their lives, for Eren it was his mother, and for Historia her older sister. In a situaiton where they were completely powerless, they watched a titan kill their security and destroy their home and are rendered homeless children after that point. They both join the titan corps as a way of survival. The reason that Eren is shown encouraging his father to pull the trigger and completely eliminate the Reiss family, is because narratively these two events are supposed to be connected. They’re narrative parallels. Eren suffered the loss of his mother which is the root of his trauma, and then has a hand in inflicting that same trauma on Historia.

They are two people connected by the nature of their worst trauma and what it did to them. Every time they try to progress as people, they instead regress because what happened then was so fundamanetally damaging it robbed them of the ability to be able to grow up. They will never feel like they have the security that children need in order to grow into adults.

Historia and Eren are mirror images even in their lives. Eren is an ordinary child given an ordinary childhood. Historia was marked as different from birth and raised as a special person. However, they ended up in relatively the same position. They both regress. The nature of Eren’s regression should be obvious because he’s trying to destroy the world. In essence Eren has remained the same character all throughout, his primary goal was to kill all the titans beyond the walls, it’s just his target that has changed.

So, let’s focus instead of how Historia has regressed. I will say before I begin though that Eren and Historia regress as opposites. Eren will always choose to be active, even if it means stealing agency from others. Historia will always choose to be passive, even if she has power over others. When they are pushed into a corner by circumstances they fall back on their worst habits and that’s why we see them regress. Externally, they have different mechanisms to handle it. Eren steals agency, Historia gives up agency. Internally, it’s practically for the same reason, because whatever security they have is continually ripped away from them leaving them unable to grow as people.

So what is Historia’s regression? Basically Historia, like Eren is lacking of a sense of self. Historia has no consistency deep down to show who she is. Even with most of the other characters as childish as they can be have this, Mikasa is overprotective and likes family, Armin is a dreamer who wants to explore the world, Annie is self centered and wants a peaceful life. Eren even comments about this in regards to himself when comparing himself to Eren. Eren centers himself around violence, war, and his hatred. Armin has something else besides fighting, in order to build himself around. Therefore, Eren considers himself lacking as a person in comparison to Armin. Who would Eren be if he wasn’t trying to destroy all the titans? That’s a difficult question to answer.

Historia is much the same way. Historia builds herself and her self of identity around the roles that other people ask her to play. The little girl Ymir is kind because she always did what others ask of her. Historia is always performing some role for the sake of everybody around her.

I wouldn’t say that Historia’s arc in Uprising ends on a triumphant note, but rather an ambiguous one. The arcs aren’t lines, they’re circular. Historia even questions herself if she’s moving for the sake of herself or others.

Here is how I see uprising. Your interpretation might differ. Historia steps out of the role of Krista. Historia, tries to be herself for a moment. At the end of the arc, rather than true liberation Historia chooses to step back into the role of queen. The only slight progress made is that she doesn’t entirely listen to Erwin’s orders. However, even her act of slaying a titan within the wall was a pre-planend action, a performance. It’s just one Historia altered slightly to give herself a more centered role.

If Historia is not someone moving to help others than who is she? We know she’s spunky, angry, etc. etc. but as a character she hasn’t really developed goals or wants and needs outside of that. We continually see her on the brink of that point, but never quite crossing the line.

Eren and Historia are at the center of their existence very performative people. The reason nobody quite understands Eren is that he’s always putting on an act around other people.

Eren and HIstoria even doubt the same things in chapter 68. That is to say, they doubt themselves. They doubt if they are really truly people who are capable of moving for themselves. Eren sees himself as someone who has nothing special about him, and therefore doesn’t matter. Deep down he’s always viewed himself as a weak and pathetic person. Historia doesn’t think she’s capable of making decisions for herself. It’s because they’ve been continually made to feel helpless all of their lives, that they doubt themselves to this degree.

Their response to this is to perform for everyody else around them. Eren si continually performing as this super strong, determined child ready to fight the whole world. Whereas, Historia is performing in the roles that other people give her. She is Krista Lenz. She is the queen Historia Reiss. She is, always, always, always, what other people need her to be. Whereas, Eren performs what he wants to be, which is powerful.

When Historia and Eren break down it is shown just how deeply similiar they are inside. They become what they continually are made to feel like, helpless children. Eren is constantly boasting about how he is going to kill all the titans, and yet deep down he’s always believed that he was all talk and that for him there was nothing behind those words.

It’s the same for Historia just in an opposite direction. Historia is constantly talking about helping people, but deep down she doesn’t see herself as a genuinely altruistic person. Not only does she see herself as helpless (therefore incapable of helping people because she can’t help herself) but she sees her motivations for helping people as selfish.

In the Uprising arc we even see this parallel. I mean I know many people interpret this as Historia’s big moment of independence, which is also a valid interpretation. I’m just giving you my interpretation. I also see this as Historia having a massive mental breakdown in the middle of a crisis moment. When they are pushed to their absolute limits and they can no longer pretend, Historia and Eren both break down and we see what they view themselves as. Eren sees himself as a crying and begging child insignificant, unpowerful, and helpless. Historia sees herself as a selfish child and a bad person. This is also something that reflects their upbringing. Historia was continually made to feel selfish due to being an abused bastard, for wanting even the most basic necessities a child needs like love and security. Eren had his security ripped away suddenly when his mother died and he was at the time, a helpless, crying child only able to watch.

When Eren breaks down he says the same thing always. Nothing has changed from back then. Nothing has changed from when I saw my mother died. When Historia breaks down she says she can’t live up to the expectations of other people around her.

Eren and Historia both see themselves as fundamentally unable to change from who they were as children, and that’s why we see them regressing to their most childlike selves here in this final arc.

2. What is the point of Uprising Arc, then?

I know I read uprising differently from most of the people on this site. However, I’m not saying that Historia didn’t grow in Uprising at all, or even that she doesn’t have a chance to grow. Honestly, I think Uprising does a good job at portraying the complexity of Historia’s character and why it’s really, really hard for her to grow in a straightforward manner. She’s not really the heroine of the story where she defeats the bad guy, and then overcomes her flaw in a dramatic fashion at the end of the arc.

Okay, so I’m going to try to address how Historia’s arc is still... you know, an arc, even though it doesn’t continue on in a straightforward fashion from Uprising. Uprising isn’t pointless because it shows us the great depth and complexity of HIstoria’s character, and also establishes why it is so hard for her to change. It’s not a straightforward arc, more of a dig into her psyche. Historia steps out of the role, Historia tries to be true self for a moment, Historia steps into another role at the end of the arc. It may seem pointless to read it this way, but I’m going to try to dig in from this point forward to show the complexity that this demonstrates.

So, like I said Historia is a character who lacks a sense of self. The reason that Eren perceives this of her so strongly that it’s what forges their friendship in this arc is because Eren is the same way.

Eren picks up on the fact that Historia was always striving to meet the expectations of everyone around her, because Eren is very much the same person. The kill all the titans thing is an act. Everyone around him believes it to such an extent that not a single person, even his closest childhood friends understood him enough until it was too late.

Eren also tells Historia he sees her as a normal girl, because it’s who Eren wants to be accepted as, but feels like he never can be. Before I go into uprising itself there’s the big inciting events for both of them that lead into where their characters are in the lead up to Uprising.

Eren and Historia both have a moment with their respective love interests in the prelude to this arc. Historia begs Ymir to come back with her so they can both live on as themselves. Mikasa tells Eren that he doesn’t need to be able to defeat titans, that what he did for her was showing her the small kindness of wrapping her scarf around him that day was enough for her.

It’s Mikasa and Historia who reach out, but Ymir and Eren both refuse that closeness. Eren chooses to fight, and Ymir chooses to sacrifice herself to Reiner and Bertolt.

I know a lot of people take issue with this writing choice, but sorry this post isn’t about the quality of the writing, just how it all comes together in the big picture. The point is, Historia and Eren are both offered what they have always wanted which is to live as themselves with a person who loves them for who they are only for it to get them taken away.

There’s also an interesting irony written in Ymir’s death. Historia has always idealized the path of a martyr. She always thought living a good, selfless, altruistic life is what would earn her the love of her sister.

Part of the problem is, the only source of love both Eren and Historia has was taken away so suddenly. Historia got the idea in her head, that all love was conditional and she had to act good in order to earn that love because love was never freely given to her. So Historia’s martyr act is a way to earn love. However, Ymir’s choice inflicts upon Historia the pain other people feel when she decides to martyr herself.

The path of the martyr isn’t a good one, it’s thorny, and wracked with pain. What Ymir does is a genuine act of altruism. She makes a choice out of sympathy for both Reiner and Bertolt who have suffered all their lives just like her, and also a belief her sacrifice will buy something for HIstoria in the bigger picture. It’s at least partially an altruistic decision, and Historia’s not happy about it at all, she’s downright bitter. Because, Historia isn’t the altruist deep down inside she pretends to be. Historia idealizes self sacrifice and selflessness, but when faced with the harsh reality and consequences of such behavior she realizes this is not what she wants.

Ymir’s death throws the narrative Historia has always held onto into question, because she’s now the victim of somebody else’s self sacrifice. By killing herself, Ymir has also deprived Historia of her place in the world. Which sends her into self doubt. This moment of reflection is once again where we see the real Historia.

Eren calls out the fact that Historia is actually very selfish. When she’s not performing goodness, most of her worries and actions are centered around herself. Everyone is out risking her lives, and Historia is kind of busy like “Who am I? Why won’t people love me for the real me?” These questions are selfish because they are focused and centered around the self. Historia is, egocentric in the way a child is, and the way that Eren is, because she doesn’t have a fully developed self.

Uprising is where we’re shown very clearly that rather than having a centralized sense of self, a goal to focus herself around, all of these things normal characters have Historia is someone who wildly swings between two.

Historia is indecisive on whether or not Krista or Historia constitutes the real her. There is the act that Historia portrays on the surface as someone who always worries about others, and then her history (Gosh, golly gee I wonder why her real name is Historia... obvious symbolism is obvious). The question for HIstoria is which one she should let efine her, is she defined by the trauma she accumulated by being born into this world, or the person she wants to be. Historia’s failure to reconcile herself between the two extremes is what results in her behavior, as swinging back and forth between both.

I don’t believe that the point of uprising is to show Historia finally reconciling these two, but rather to show her wildly swinging between the two. HIstoria is someone who wildly swings between great feats of selfishness and selflessness.

We are given several hints of Historia’s progress in this arc, but also several unhealthy signs of her back sliding. For exmaple there’s the scene where Levi infamously bullies Historia into calling herself the queen. One this scene fundamentally demosntrates what Historia’s problem is, she can’t make decisions or act for herself because she doesn’t really know what she wants.

And when Levi beats her up and pushes her, she decides to perform again. Now the question is if you see the final climactic scene of Uprising as her triumphantly overcoming this cycle or falling back into it. My interpretation is that it portrays the swinging between.

HIstoria, confronted with the feelings of insecurity she’s had since childhood unable to feel consistently loved or that she was even worthy of love is about to fall back on her mechanism of total and complete selflessness. Believing that her self sacrifice will at least mean she was a good person that meant something to the world, that her self sacrifice will earn her something. The reason that Eren yells I’M NOT NECESSARY is it’s because what their trauma made them feel like, and deep down what they’re afraid of hearing.

Historia first appears entirely passive and selfless, then she takes an active role and screams she’s the worst girl on earth and she’d rather let the whole world die than sacrifice one person. Her response isn’t to reconcile these two entirely divergent selves, but rather we’re being shown her flipping between them.

Historia declares one moment she doesn’t care about the rest of the world they can all die, and the next moment she says that if there’s a crying child she will always help. What we see is not a reconciliation so much but rather a flipping between, because it’s Historia’s tendency to swing back and forth between the two.

Here’s my defense of my point. Uprising ends on an ambiguous note. As I’ve said above uprising doesn’t end on Historia becoming her full realized self, but rather wondering if she’s become her full realized self.

Not only that but everything that seems like it was forward progress initially in uprising becomes undone later. Erwin is freed in Uprising, Erwin dies the next arc. Eren says he doesn’t need to become a special person to change the world, Eren is back on his bullshit by the time skip. The uprising puts the good guys in charge of the government and so now the government is no longer an obstacle to the path of saving humanity. The Jaegerists come take over in a second uprising, and the government becomes an obstacle once more. Even the decision they made to never feed Historia to a titan in order to sacrifice the world, is something the main characters go back on as they debate on whether or not to have her eat Zeke. Everything that seems like it’s forward progress becomes undone.

So why would Historia’s arc not become undone, too? This isn’t a question of quality of the writing. If you think this is a bad writing decisoin you’re completely valid I just am trying to remind you this isn’t the place to have that discussion. The deicsion to regress however, portrays the conflicts the characters are dealing with as cyclical ones. My argument is that as a whole Attack on Titan is being written as a cyclical story where characters circle.

Eren and Historia are just the two biggest contenders of this regression. Which is why we see them conspiring together in this the final arc. (Yes there is a problem with Historia being mainly offscreened) however narratively the decisions we are shown Historia making in this arc are all passive ones. Also ones meant to pacify the people around her.

Eren will always choose to be the activest character he possibly can, and to take agency even if it means stealing it from others. Historia will always choose to be passive, and will give up agency even if it means people steal things away from her.

We are kept mostly out of Historia’s head. We are also kept mostly out of Eren’s head. What we are being shown recently though is a continuation of what we witnessed in uprising. Uprising ended with the question of if Historia is Krista Lenz, or Historia Reiss unresolved.

This scene is Eren browbeating Historia into submission so she’ll go along with this plan. However, for HIstoria it’s also a confrontation with both sides of herself that she has shown to other people. Eren is basically telling HIstoria there are two wildly different hers, there is the Historia who would sacrifice herself, and the Historia who would say fuck the entire world she’s not sacrificing herself even if it makes herself the enemy of humanity.

My argument is that the story has gone to great length to portray that to some extent, both of these HIstorias are real. Historia is someone who swings between wild feats of selfness and selfishness. Historia can say both of these things and mean them, that she wants to sacrifice herself for the sake of the world, fuck the world she wants to be herself.

The same way Eren can imprison his friends, tell Mikasa she’s a slave, tell Armin he’s useless and that he’s despised both of them always, and also believes that he’s doing all of this for the love of his friends. Eren can say both and mean both, because he also does this inconsistent swinging back and forth.

The foiling between the two of them shows how utterly broken Eren and Historia are as people due to the neglect they faced as children. It’s not actually a question of whether they are good or bad people. (Though Eren, is a jerk). It’s to show how unhealthy these mechanisms are. They mechanisms they rely on to survive, do not allow them to grow or develop all the way as people so they remain stunted. Historia is still in an incredibly unhealthy and precarious position in regards to her identity. Eren’s mechanism is to take agency, Historia’s is to give it up, the result however is the same between the both of them.

We see Historia make a choice. In all fairness we don’t know what that choice is. However, we also know what she didn’t choose. She knew what Eren was going to run off and do, and what he was planning, and she didn’t stop him.

Another important part of the final arc is showing how everybody else’s decisions also led to Eren doing what he did. Armin’s choice to never confront Eren’s real self turned him into Eren’s enabler. Mikasa’s inability to try to live without Eren, made her completely unable to see this coming. The scout corps in general was unable to stop Eren, because they didn’t understand him. Historia also made a choice to enable the situation to happen in some way, because she didn’t choose to just... tell somebody else what Eren was planning, or stop it.

While yes, she may be trying to stop it all on her own. It’s still a choice she made that’s frighteningly similiar to the choices Eren has been making all along. That is the choice not to trust people, the choice not to openly communicate what she inteded, the choice to instead go off on her own and try to solve everything by herself.

That’s also the choice she always makes when backed up against a wall, and therefore it’s a sign of regression. I don’t think Historia is conspiring with Eren or even agrees with him. However, I do think she has made a similiar choice as Eren which is to try and attempt to solve everything on her own without trusting the others which is why we’re seeing her get so much foiling with Eren in this the final arc.

Historia will overcome this regression when rather than swinging between Historia Reiss, and Krista Lenz, that she is both, and always has been both. You are who you are deep down inside. You are also who you pretend to be. The choice to show Historia’s wavering between makes her arc longer, difficult, more frustrating, but it also shows how hard it is for Historia.

It shows the struggle of someone like Historia with lifelong trauma. How hard it is for her, not to be a queen, or a good girl. How fundamentally, it’s difficult for her to even juts be a normal person. And how in the end that’s what she is fighting for, to rediscover herself as a normal girl once more after being denied that by the environment around her her entire life. Historia too, can be a normal girl in the face of all that trauma.

#historia reiss #eren jaeger #aot meta #attack on titan #attack on titan meta #attack on titan theory #eren meta

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cadykeus-clay · 4 years ago

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Would you mind sharing your thoughts about vex and Beau being cross campaign foils?

so!!!! first things first: apologies for taking weeks to answer this, finals + having adhd sometimes makes my brain turn to mush and forget every ask ive ever recieved. second of all, i’m assuming you sent me this bc of what i said in my vm vs. m9 how they view the world meta. and i’ll be real with you. i have exactly 0 memory of what was going through my head when i wrote that line, so i am simply going to type out a bunch of thoughts that i have on the similarities and differences between beau and vex and i hope that lives up to what you were expecting jsdflksjdksld

I'll detail some specifics in a moment, but overall, I think beau and vex share a very similar kind of trauma of exclusion in their formative years, that's caused them to have a lot of similar traits that manifest in different ways - for vex, she maintains control through her material posessions and beau finds an emotional control in her asshole-ness. I've broken this down into 5 points on which I think comparing the two really emphasizes that claim:

1. daddy issues: both beau and vex have awful no good terrible very bad dads. both syldor and thoreau can suck my ass. they both raised their kids with little love and impossible-to-meet expectations, alientating them and leaving them with lifelong feelings of inferiority and unbelonging. If beau and vex were to meet, i think they would have a very friendly toast to shitty dads, and then have a good drunk vent about it an hour later.

but, at the same time, the actual minutae of their trauma and the ways it manifests are nearly polar opposites. syldor wanted nothing to do with vex, or else wanted her to somehow become a full elf. her issue was that she would never be able to belong, despite her desire to, and as she grew up it lead to her being overly protective and even possessive of the people she found who DID accept her as she was.

With beau, rather than exclusion, her father created an environment of toxic inclusion. He created a role for beau to belong in, disregarding her distate for actually fulfilling it. And, as such, she ended up making herself into someone who could have no expectations and pushed away anyone who tried to set them up for her. In the end, they both came to love themselves by abandoning the woman their father wanted them to be but for vex it was the laying down of an impossible dream and for beau it was the picking up of a mantle she had feared to wear.

2. brothers: now, on the topic of family, I also think its really interesting how their interactions with their brothers play out. We've got vex and vax, tied at the hip til the very end and then some; and then we've got beau and TJ - decades apart and with beau barely acknolwedging TJ's existence. But, even that distance between beau and TJ didn't stop her caring for him when they actually met. She gave him lucky Jade, and she entertained the idea of kidnapping him to get him away from her stinko dad.

And I'd espeically like to talk about what she said outside the hag's hut - "I think Luc and TJ could be best friends", in comparison to the way Vex reacted when Vax told her was going to Zephrah with Keyleth for the year break. There's an aspect to the way they interact with their brothers that lets them slip back into those bad habits they formed growing up (NOT that i'm claiming vex and vax were like toxic for each other. but even good relationships can have unhealthy moments).

With Beau, when she offers to give her happiness so TJ can grow up safe, she's trying to take on the role she's ""supposed"" to fill - the big sister, the protector - because she failed to fill the one her father set out. And with Vex, when she grows jealous of Vax, it's because she's afraid that his leaving with keyleth is a sign that she no longer belongs in his inner circle, and she falls back on that childish, desperate desire to do anything to be accepted unconditionally.

3. romance: spoilers for 5 or so most recent m9 eps (115-120) if you haven't watched them ahead!!!! at this point, both vex and beau have an endgame romance - percy and yasha respectively. Obviously as the m9's campaign is still playing out, that could change, but like. yasha wrote her a love letter and they're officially going on a date so i'm counting that as at least endgame-track rather than just random flirting. What's interesting to me is that they both seem to flip between the SAME roles between their (in-game) general perception and their actual pursual of romance.

Vex gets characterized as a pretty big flirt, right? She's got the winks, the casual "darling". She's flashed grog her boobs on multiple instances with little prompting. Beau, similarly, has easily the most game out of anyone in the m9. She's slept with two guest characters and at least one more npc in the events of the game. Caleb made her a fuck mirror in her room in the mansion. And yet, in both of their actual romantic endeavors, they became the shy, uncertain type.

Vex only confessed her feelings when Percy was laying dead before her, and not an hour of game play before percy kissed her in the woods, she had a talk with vax about how she was pretty sure he didn't like her that way and she didn't want to pursue it. Beau, similarly, spent a very long time convinced that yasha wasn't looking for love after zuala, especially not in anyone like her, asked everyone in the party if they thought yasha ACTUALLY liked her, just to be safe, and then still terrified to ask her out after recieving a literal love letter. I'd argue this shift comes from that same sense of unbelonging - they're very good at pretending they fit a role but doubt their actual right to take it when the opportunity is presented. This time, the role is the lover rather than the daughter.

4. authority: Both vex and beau grew up shunned by the upper crust of society, and grew to mistrust those kinds of people. And yet, both of their arcs result in them assuming such a position. Vex, thrown out of high society gets her place as a baronness, and Beau, running from leadership of her father's business ends up a top member of the Cobalt Soul. There's not a lot here, but I find it interesting how both of their stories involve them shedding their baggage regarding authority and power and assuming it in a way that they feel comfortable in - invitation by someone she trusts for vex, and a promise of freedom of will and control for beau.

5. their deadliest sins: this is the point at which their similarities culminate and transform to a fundamental difference. despite everything they share - shitty childhoods, the small piece of family that's still good, flirtiness masking shy love, and a mistrust of those in power - vex and beau are such different characters because of their biggest vices. Vex, both in game and out, is "the greedy one". She's stingy with money, she haggles for everything, she mourns the loss of physical objects. Beau is "the mean one". She cares little for people's feelings if they're not in her immediate circle, she focuses on her tough guy image, she laughs at things she knows she shouldn't.

And, over the course of the campaign, as they find unconditional acceptance, they grow away from these traits (I won't say they grow out of them) because they heal from the things causing these vices to begin with. I've always been vocal about vex's greed being a manifestation of her class insecurity, and beau's asshole-ness stemming from her fear of being forced back into another position of complacency. And I stand by that now - all the similarities in their backstories are what tally up to these different women.

Despite her careful tally of party funds and her reflexive bargaining, vex is not cruel. she is not angry on her own behalf. She saves two boys from the market in the city of brass at great personal cost, she relinquishes an entire dragon's hoard to the devastated city of Westruun, she took the time to save a baby bear from a cage when she could have just cut and run after escaping her own. She's the first one most people go to when they need a shoulder to cry on, and she's devastated when they don't (thinkin about when Scanlan left). She carved "forgiveness" into the bow she stole from a man after killing him by proclaiming how much she loved someone, because she knew anger had no place in her heart.

And Beau, Beau is a bitch and she's harsh, but she doesn't hoard or protect like vex did. she spends her money without much of a second thought. She pitches in to help her friends buy a ton of glowsticks, and she loves to indulge in material desires like drink and good food and the nicer inn room. She's a member of an organization that's about making knowledge public rather than guarding it. And, though this may be controversial, I think her position with bowlgate of "its not our problem what cali wants to do with it", her long-standing mistrust of their alliance with the bright queen and and more recently with the tomb takers of "i want to go in and talk, rather than assuming they're antagonistic, even if it puts us at a disadvantage" are both examples of this non-possessiveness too - she has no need or desire to get involved in controlling what other people are doing.

so, i guess the general conclusion here is: vex struggles to let go of things, of money, of people. beau struggles to let herself be known in case she gets wrongly interpreted again. they both fight feelings of inadequacy, they both fight the feelings of not belonging, of 'doing it wrong', they fight the perception of them as shitty people because of the shells they hide in despite their absolute hearts of gold. but at the end of the day, vex's story is one of having to lay down what could never be hers so she can carry what is, and beau's story is one of allowing herself to be known so a place can be made for her.

#hope this is what you and that other anon were looking for jdsflkdsajfsaldfsa #critical role #vexahlia #beauregard #long post

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