#i know some of these are brief mentions

[lyranova]

Mocha Dreams and Earl Grey Realities:

Chapter 1: An Awkward Reunion 3 Years in the Making

Summary: For the last 5 years William Vangeance’s life had been quiet and peaceful, he went to work at the Blackbird café, hung out with a few friends, and finally felt like life was going his way. Until one day when he receives a call from some old friends pleading for him to become the guardian of their 17 year old daughter Neva in order to protect her from an unknown danger.

And during this time, William’s peaceful life only becomes more loud and chaotic as he suddenly finds himself “responsible” for a woman named Zera Cassia after supposedly winning her in a poker game.

Meanwhile, after being in Witness Protection with his mother Ciel for the last few years of his life, Yuno Grinberryall is doing his best to live a “normal life”. However, he finds that it isn’t as easy as it seems, especially when he feels that he’s constantly being watched. But after meeting Neva Belmonte, who is in a similar position as him, he finds that he isn’t as alone as he first thought.

A/N: Hiya guys, I hope you’re all doing well! This is my contribution to @loosesodamarble ‘s Butler AU! That she’s set up 🥰 (which can be read HERE!)! I’ve had a lot of this plotted out/written since September, and I hope you all enjoy~! Also the poem William recites is one by Tao Qian 😁!

OC’s that’ll be mentioned in this AU: Solara Equinox (belongs to @/thoughtfullyrainynightmare), Josele Canty (belongs to @/loosesodamarble), Briar Rose (belongs to @/koneko-pi), and Acylla Rhine who belongs to @/faewraithsworld)!

Word Count: 3,367

Warning: This Series will Contain Mature Scenes and Themes throughout and each chapter will be labeled accordingly!

————

Whistles, shouts, and footsteps could be heard echoing throughout the Clover Train Station. Families traveling to and fro, people talking on their cell phones as they walked to their trains, people laughing with their friends as they waited. It was one of the busiest places in the city besides Main Street.

William quietly paced back and forth on the platform, the train he was waiting for had just pulled in, and now all he had to do was wait for the people to disembark the train. He watched as many different faces stepped off the train and onto the platform, but none of them were who he was waiting for.

He continued watching as he paced slowly, the sound of people chatting and the sound of his own thoughts steadily drowned out the sound of his dress shoes clicking against the stone floor of the station. What if he was at the wrong platform, and she was sitting there waiting for him? What if he had the wrong time? Or what if he was at the wrong station entirely?

He shook his head, no, he had everything right. He had asked Idalia multiple times earlier that day, and he even wrote it down, so surely this was the right place! Maybe she just hadn’t gotten off the train yet? Or maybe, no, could they have missed each other?!

William groaned as he slumped forward, this was his first time being in charge of someone, and he had already screwed it up!

Suddenly, he felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned around and saw the person he was waiting for.

Neva Belmonte. His ‘little sister’ as he jokingly liked to refer to her as since they looked so similar, despite not being related, and had known each other since she was a small child.

“ Oh, you’re here. Did you have a good trip?” William asked as he quickly took her bags from her, and the young girl nodded.

“ I did,” She told him softly as she let him take her bags. “ It’s been a while since I’ve been on a train, it was nice.” She added as she looked around the train station.

The two stood there a bit awkwardly. Neva was usually a quiet and soft-spoken person, but it seemed to be even more pronounced now that she was in a new environment.

“ You got taller.” He said, trying his best to break the awkward tension between them. Neva nodded.

“ 3 Years will do that.”

“ R-Right, of course,” William agreed with a nervous laugh.

William had been friends with Neva’s parents ever since he was around 16 years old. They happened to meet by chance when he started working at Idalia, Neva’s mothers, bakery. The couple had kind of adopted him as one of their own after that. Even though Julius was his father figure and main benefactor, the Belmonte’s also took care of him. They were like…an Aunt and Uncle of sorts. While Neva was more like a little sister.

But due to him being busy with his work, the last time he had seen Neva was when she was around 14 years old, when William had gotten his new apartment with his friend and co-worker Yami Sukehiro. He had invited Neva’s family to Clover so they could see his new living space and also spend some time together before the family went back to their hometown.

“ Shall we go? I’m sure you’re hungry and tired after the trip.” William asked, and Neva nodded.

The two began to quietly make their way out of the train station, steadily maneuvering through the sea of people. Until they finally made it outside, where they were slightly blinded by the bright afternoon sunlight.

William frowned, it was mid-morning when he arrived…he suddenly looked at his watch and gasped.

It was 11:30…and his shift at the Blackbird was supposed to start at 12!

“ Neva, I know you’re tired, and I’m sure you just want to go to the apartment and rest, but my shift at work is about to start. Is it alright if you come with me and hang out there for the afternoon? I’m only working part-time today, so I should be done by 6.” He told her, and the young girl nodded.

“ Yeah, that’s fine,” She agreed softly. “ Although you could just give me directions and I can walk to your apartment by myself…” She added as she began to follow him down the street towards the café.

She had a point, he could have done that, but he had strict instructions from her parents that he was not to let her go anywhere alone unless it was to his café or his apartment after school.

Why? Because Neva was in danger.

Currently, Neva believed she was being transferred because Clover Academy was better than the high school in Drysor and that going to Clover Academy would help her future. But in reality, she was being transferred due to threats being made against her. At first her parents had believed that maybe it was someone from her school playing pranks, but slowly the letters became more and more unhinged. Because of that, Idalia called William and begged him to take her in as his ward and keep her safe, hoping that maybe if Neva left the city she would be safer.

“ Please keep my Little Diamond safe.”

William sighed softly as Idalia’s words echoed in his head. How could he have said no to a mother's desperate plea? Honestly, even if she hadn’t asked him to take Neva in, he probably would have offered anyway.

Her safety and security was the most important thing.

“ What’s going on across the street?” Neva asked softly as her eyes drifted to her right. After being pulled out of his thoughts, William turned to his right as well.

Across the street, there were various boxes and furniture sitting in front of the empty store, along with what appeared to be vases and flowers. The sign above the store was covered with a big white sheet, and there appeared to be people moving around inside.

“ It looks like a new shop’s moving in across the street.” William muttered as he watched various young women walk out of the shop, pick up various items from the street and inside the box truck, before they happily walked back into the empty store.

“ What do you think it’ll be?” Neva asked, her soft voice holding a curious tone in it. He hummed from beside her.

“ I’m not sure. It could be a clothing store, or maybe an antique shop? We’ll only find out for sure once it opens.” He told her with a small smile before he patted her shoulder. “ We’re here. You go on inside, I have to go in through the back, so I can change into my uniform.”

“ Your uniform?” Neva asked with a frown, and he nodded.

“ Yes, unlike when I worked at your parent's bakery, I can’t just wear my normal clothes. We have to wear uniforms in order to keep with the café’s themes.” He explained before he turned and began to walk down the alley next to the café.

“ ‘Theme’? What kind of café is this?” Neva muttered as her gaze slowly drifted from the door to the sign above the door that read ‘The Blackbird Café’ in beautiful cursive with the image of a small blackbird.

Just what kind of place was it? Was it maybe one of those animal themed cafés where they had dogs, cats, and exotic animals?

She shook her head, there was only one way to find out, and that was by going inside.

As the platinum blonde haired woman walked inside, a young man with dark black hair, amber eyes, and a serious expression walked out of the alley way and onto the street.

———

Neva’s purple eyes widened as she stood inside the café. The design appeared to be European inspired. Men walked around wearing crisp suits, the furniture was made of varnished wood and held an assortment of fancy tea sets, table mats, and china. As her gaze drifted up the ceiling, she could see the main dining area was lit up by a beautiful glass work chandelier. She instantly looked down at her pair of jeans, sneakers, and light purple top. She felt completely under dressed.

“ Hello, and welcome to the Blackbird,” A voice said calmly from beside her, she quickly turned to the side and saw a much taller man in a crisp but slightly more casual suit. His dark hair was a bit messy, and he had a bit of a stubble mustache and beard, but he didn’t look unkempt or ‘too casual’. “ Is it just you, or will someone else be arriving later?”

“ Um, just me…” Neva said with a small frown as her eyes scanned the café in search of William.

“ Hey, you’re Johnathan’s kid sister, right? Uh���Nina isn’t it?” He asked, a confused frown appearing on his face.

“ It’s Neva…” She corrected, and the man quickly nodded and scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

“ Ah, that’s right, my bad. It was hard to understand Johnathan’s blubbering when he talked about you.” The man said with a small chuckle, and it was Neva’s turn to frown.

“ You keep mentioning ‘Johnathan’, but I don’t know anyone with that name.” She said with a confused tone, but he shook his head.

“ Yeah you do, it’s that guy right there,” He said as he jerked a thumb over his shoulder, Neva looked and saw William standing in the kitchen area talking to another man with shoulder-length silver hair. “ Here at the Blackbird we don’t use our real names, we go by alias’s instead as a safety precaution. You can call me Alexander, but I’m sure Johnathan will tell you my real name when you two leave.” He added as he crossed his arms.

“ Since it’s your first time at the café, I’ll take you to Johnathan’s section.” He told her as he stepped aside, extended his hand out towards the dining area, and bowed a bit.

“ This way, my lady,” He said, his tone and demeanor quickly switching from casual mode to work mode. “ I’ll guide you to your seat and ensure that no harm comes to you.” He added, and the woman blinked.

What…on earth was going on? This was strange to say the least. But for now she would go with it.

“ Um…thank you?” She said, her tone slightly hesitant, but she slowly began to walk towards the booth that ‘Alexander’ had pointed at. As they walked, he stayed close to her, but not so close that she felt uncomfortable. Whenever something got in her way or nearly bumped into her, ‘Alexander’ moved the object or blocked it.

What kind of café was this?

She slid inside the booth and muttered a soft ‘thank you’ as he handed her a menu, he told her that her ‘butler’ would be there shortly and she nodded. She looked at the menu and as she stared at the cover, her purple eyes narrowed at the small bit of text just underneath the café’s name.

‘Butler Café’.

Neva blinked a few times as she read that small bit of text over and over again, before she let out a quiet groan and rested her head against the table. Now it all made sense; the outfits, the ‘waiters’ demeanor, all of it!

“ Is something the matter, my lady? You sound troubled.” A voice said from beside her, and she slowly turned and raised her head slightly to see William, or ‘Johnathan’, standing there with a calm but slightly concerned look on his face.

“ It’s nothing. I’m just now realizing that this is a butler café, I’m such an idiot.” Neva groaned as she lowered her head onto the table again.

“ If I may, you are far from an idiot, my lady. You’re just tired from your long journey, that’s all.” He told her before a soft hum escaped him. “ Maybe a small poem will help my lady feel better?”

Neva raised her head completely and blinked.

“ A-A poem?” She asked in surprise, and ‘Johnathan’ nodded as a soft chuckle escaped him.

“ Yes. In order to shorten the wait for my mistresses and masters teas and meals, I try to provide them with a bit of entertainment.”

“So…it’s a gimmick?”

“ I wouldn’t call it a gimmick-.”

“ But it’s a gimmick.”

“ If that’s what my lady wants to call it, then we shall call it a gimmick.” ‘Johnathan’ said with a sigh and shake of his head. “ Would my lady like to hear one while she waits for her tea and meal?”

Neva hummed unsurely, whenever she heard poems or listened to poetry she was always reminded of a very…vexing person back in Drysor. He always liked to recite poetry while being as vague as possible about the meanings when speaking to people, and it irritated her. Why not just be direct and less…odd? Wouldn’t it be easier to just tell people what you wanted to tell them, instead of telling them through riddles and poems that they most likely won’t understand?

“ My lady? Are you alright?” ‘Johnathan’ asked, the worried look returning to his purple eyes again, and Neva nodded.

“ Y-Yeah, I’m alright,” Neva said quickly. “ And sure you can tell me a poem…although I have a feeling I’m going to regret this.” She muttered the last part under her breath, and ‘Johnathan’ nodded.

And regret it she did.

“ I built my hut in a zone of human habitation,

But near me there sounds no noise of horse or coach.

Would you know how that is possible?

A heart that is distant creates a wilderness round it.

I pluck chrysanthemums under the eastern hedge,

Then gaze long at the distant summer hills.

The mountain air is fresh at the dusk of day:

The flying birds two by two return.

In these things there lies a deep meaning;

Yet when we would express it, words suddenly fail us.”

As ‘Johnathan’ finished reciting his poem, he blinked in surprise as Neva cringed and covered her ears slightly. Was…the poem not good?

“ Please don’t do that again.” She groaned as she looked away, and he tilted his head as he saw her shoulders tremble slightly.

“ Was that poem unsatisfactory? Would you prefer a different one?” He asked, and he watched her quickly shake her head as her shoulders trembled more.

At first, William had thought that maybe she was crying, but as he looked at the reflection of her face in the window, he saw that wasn’t the case. Her cheeks were red, and her hand was over her mouth, it looked as though she were trying to stifle her laughter.

She was laughing at him…

He hummed a bit, maybe this was a better way to break the ice between them.

“ Since that poem wasn’t to your liking, might I tell you a different one?” He asked, amusement entering his voice and appearing on his face. Neva quickly shook her head as she turned to face him.

“ T-That’s okay-!” She tried to say, but he shook his head and began to recite another poem despite her protests.

“ Should we try to stop them?” ‘Alexander’ asked his boss, Nero, and she shook her head.

“ Just let them be for now. We aren’t busy and there aren’t many customers right now. So just let them be, if they get too rowdy, or we get a big lunch rush, then you’re allowed to step in.” Nero said as she looked at Neva cringing in the booth as William continued to recite poem after poem. Making everyone watching either laugh in amusement, or roll their eyes in annoyance.

Meanwhile, inside the ‘empty’ store across the street, an ash-blonde haired woman watched the two with a curious gaze through her shop window.

“ I wonder what’s going on over there.” She mumbled curiously, and the young black haired man with amber eyes came to stand beside her.

“ No idea.” He said bluntly, making the woman beside him chuckle.

“ Ooh, I see, since you’re no longer on the clock it isn’t your worry or concern?”

“ Exactly.”

“ Wow, that's kind of cold.” The woman giggled, and the young man sighed.

“ I guess. Can I leave now?” He asked as he turned away from the window, and the woman shook her head.

“ Nope! Your mom promised me that you would help me out here until 3, and that’s what you’re going to do!” The woman said with a bright grin, and the man sighed.

“ Isn’t that called exploiting a child for free labor?”

“ You call it ‘exploiting a child for free labor’, I call it a ‘friendly favor’!”

“ Unbelievable.”

“ Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to pay you in food!” The woman said with a giggle as she handed him another box. “ But first, you gotta earn it!”

—----

Later that evening, 6pm.

“ Thank you for the meal, and for letting me stay here until Johnathan’s shift is over.” Neva quietly told Nero as she stood at the counter and waited for William, the other lady nodded.

“ You’re welcome, anyone that’s a friend or family member of my butlers is welcome here, and judging by how many dessert plates you had today I think you’ll be coming here often.” She said with a ghost of a smile as she looked at the small plates being cleared from her table.

“ Ah…yeah, I think I might be.” Neva admitted with a sheepish chuckle, and she turned when she felt someone tap her shoulder.

“ Are you ready to go?” William asked as he stood there, and she quickly nodded. “ Goodnight Ms. Nero.”

“ Goodnight Johnathan, Neva. Be safe on your way home.” Nero said softly, her eyes not looking up from the pile of receipts in her hand.

The two nodded before leaving the café.

They quietly walked together down the street, the awkward tension that was there earlier between them seemed to have dissipated since they were now talking and laughing a bit more comfortably like they did years ago.

“ Isn’t your apartment this way?” Neva asked as she went to turn left but William kept walking straight.

“ It is, but we’re not going to my apartment,” William told her, and began to explain as she frowned. “ I live with someone, Yami, I mean Alexander, to be exact. I thought it might be uncomfortable for you to live with a stranger so I got us a different apartment.” Neva nodded slowly.

“ That makes sense. But you could have just stayed at your place and I could have gotten a dorm room at the academy-.” Neva began, but he shook his head quickly.

“ It’s alright I don’t mind. Besides, your parents insisted on you living with me, and frankly I insisted as well.” He told her, and her frown deepened.

“ Why?”

“ Because you’re in a new, and much bigger, city that can be quite dangerous. So it’s a way for us to keep you safe.”

“ You’re all way too overprotective.” Neva muttered with a small sigh and shake of her head, but she didn’t argue, and started walking straight ahead.

William sighed in relief. While it wasn’t a complete lie, it wasn’t fully the truth either.

“ Whatever happens, you cannot let Neva know about this. Please, William, it’s for her own protection!”

He quickly shook his head as Idalia’s words echoed in his head again. While he didn’t really agree with keeping this from Neva, he also didn’t want to tell her about it either…

There really was no good way to go about this.

“ Are you coming? I don’t know the way to the apartment and I need to get some sleep if I want to go to school tomorrow!” Neva shouted as she noticed that William wasn’t following her.

“ Ah right, sorry. I’m coming!” He shouted back as he began to walk quickly towards her.

For now he wasn’t going to worry about whether he should tell her the real reason she was here or not, instead he would focus on making sure Neva was safe, happy, and comfortable in Clover just like he promised her parents.

————

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all have a good day~!

[thresholdbb]

what's the threshold theory

There was a post about how Tom is the only crew member who isn't really affected by the Borg, and there's a theory that he has so much luck because he saw the past and the future when he crossed the transwarp threshold. He saw the past and the future, all of time and space. There's some subconscious part of him that remembers that experience. In fact, Tom refused to play a part in Chakotay indulging Annorax's temporal incursions, probably because a part of him knew nothing good could come of it.

If we extend that same theory to Janeway, some of her wild luck with time travel and other crack plans starts to make sense. She doesn't verbally hate time travel until after the events of Threshold, since it happens in Time and Again without complaint. Janeway has an uncanny knack for time travel, as evidenced every time she deals with it. She hates time travel, but it might be because part of her knows exactly how to manipulate the timeline. She manages to avoid the "inevitable" temporal explosion in Future's End, saving both Voyager and Braxton. She resets the entire timeline in Year of Hell, and no one else followed her reasoning. She pulled it off flawlessly. In Relativity, she senses the incidents are all related, despite it being just one reading that connects them. By the time she's involved, she has a temporal incursion factor of .0036 and a time travel protocol named after her, even if that may just be Braxton's personal grudge. Then there's Endgame, where she intentionally changes the timeline. Up until this point, she has been dragged into time travel, but for the first time, she jumps in on purpose. How does Admiral Janeway know how to get them home sooner in a way that completely avoids the Temporal Integrity Commission? It's because she has seen all of time, and part of her knows exactly what needs to happen so she can get Voyager home and do it in a way that becomes baked into the prime timeline. Maybe she doesn't consciously remember what happened during her transformation, but the experience lives in her mind somewhere, guiding her decisions.

[brodorokihousuke]

the fact that Apollo probably knows about all of Phoenix's cases (no doubt in decent detail) is so, so funny to me. he's the closest we get to a straight up Ace Attorney fan in-universe

I mean shit i can see him remembering more details than Phoenix himself... though Apollo probably knows it comes off as a little creepy so he doesn't bring it up that often 💀

[legionofpotatoes]

star wars outlaws

[myxhul]

One thing that bugs me every time i rewatch tlok is that one scene in book 3 where tenzin tells korra about the time when she was little, explaining how the red lotus tried to kidnap her. So, he, korra's father, sokka, and zuko went to rescue her and stopped the attack, locking the red lotus in their respective prisons.

Although my little zukka brain thrives with the fact that zuko is supposedly just there, chilling in the south pole post-retirement or whatever, i really think it would have been much better if insted of him, it was katara the one fighting alogside the others. It would have made so much more sence because one- she is one of the most powerful waterbenders on earth therefore totally has the power and skills to stand againts the red lotus, and two- yes, you can argue that she might still be greeving over her husband's passing but i think if sokka, zuko and tenzin were able to be there and help in the battle it wouldn't be much of problem for katara to be with them too. Aang is best friend and a family to both sokka and zuko and tenzin's literal father. If they were ready and willing to fight, so could she.

And isn't trying to protect korra also trying to protect her family in some sort of way? Katara was clearly very enthusiastic about teaching korra waterbending as a child, why won't she stand up against the red lotus for her, too?

It's disheartening to see how both the comics and tlok seem to sideline katara's character as if her contributions were not significant. Like she just isn't that important in the first place. It’s just awfully depressing tbh.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]

a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious

i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me

as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Bury Your Gays

Horror

a scriptwriter in hollywood who’s getting attention & an Oscar nom after working in the industry for years, but is being pressured by algorithm-obsessed producers to kill off the queer characters in the season finale of the show he writes

and when he starts getting stalked by the monsters he wrote (based on traumas of his past) he has to figure out how to survive, along with his best friend and boyfriend

[daz4i]

please please please share dazai fear analysis 🤲

hehe well i'm not gonna get too in depth (mostly bc my brain isn't at 100% atm) but a short version bc i don't wanna leave you hanging,

i'm basing this on no longer human and yozo, like most of my dazai analysis hehe. in nlh he talks often about how painfully afraid he is of p much everything, because he doesn't understand people, and he doesn't want to get caught if he does anything wrong, too afraid to say no because he doesn't know how the other person will react, etc

i think. if you apply this reading to bsd dazai, a lot of his behavior makes sense, as well as adds depth to him and his more questionable actions

a p obvious example: the whole meursault arc, i think he is genuinely afraid to die, because he knows if he does then fyodor will come out on top and hurt his loved ones, destroy the whole world even. clearly, he is afraid of losing the people dear to him (but that's a very normal reaction lbr lol)

a general example: his constant acting like everything is fine to hide his real emotions - which, during his early mafia days, took form in looking blank and emotionless - can be a fear response of not knowing how other people will react to his true feelings, either due to past trauma where his emotions were dismissed or he got hurt for expressing them, or imo, more likely, due to a lack of understanding other people and not quite knowing what'll tick them off

(which might sound silly, bc he purposely ticks people off and looks to annoy people. but, this is a way to have control over the situation. that if the other person gets mad at him, he clearly knows why, he knows what he did to cause this, so this is like a precautionary measure to make sure he's not caught off guard. his fear isn't quite of their anger, or even getting hurt by their anger, but rather a lack of control or understanding of the situation)

a possibly controversial example: the way he acted with akutagawa during the dark era. i think, if you look at his actions as "basically a kid who is afraid to see this kid he found get hurt in combat, so he tries to make him stronger no matter what, and in the meantime is afraid to get attached in case the other kid does die so he tries to distance himself from him emotionally" it ofc doesn't excuse his actions, but imo, makes them. a bit more understandable, in a way. at least enough to somewhat empathize with him more

[this might be a slight side tangent but i have this hc i firmly believe in, that dazai caused ryuu's lung disease by injuring him somehow (given how he doesn't have it in the beast universe), and one of the reasons he's more gentle with atsushi is because he's afraid to hurt him too. not the main reason, but i do think it may add some depth here]

i do think he eased up after being in the ada for awhile - life became mostly predictable, nothing he couldn't handle - but. things changed, and now he's on edge again (turning you to story's lovely analysis that i keep referencing in a lot of my own dazai analysis bc it's so so good). fyodor coming back into his life certainly didn't help, either

now. since i can't not bring up his relationship with chuuya. i do think he has an easier time trusting chuuya because he knows he can handle himself. he doesn't feel the need to control him - always leaving him a choice in their plans - because he's not afraid of what could happen to him, he knows chuuya will be fine. also, their relationship started in such an awful way he doesn't need to hide his emotions around him :P this is why i think he has an easier time being with chuuya really, he's a momentary break from being in constant fear. this might also be why he's so obnoxious when chuuya's around lmao (idk how much of this is actual analysis rather than "if you read them this way it adds a nice depth" so feel free to take this part with a grain of salt, i will always be the first to admit i'm not the best at reading skk hehe)

and while i didn't finish sb yet he does seem to be. really afraid in a lot of the scenes he's in, from what i read so far askjdfg bc now chuuya is in real danger! in a way he can't predict! this hasn't happened yet! (but i could ofc bc very wrong abt that lol)

(also i gotta say. i think this is what odasaku was for him too - ofc in addition to other things - bc he knows odasaku wouldn't hurt him or react in a bad way even if he did anything outrageous. and that's in part what made his rejection in beast so devastating for him, bc it shakes up one of the only safe things in his life)

i'd say, dazai's fear isn't paralyzing, at least not for more than a second a time. it makes him active, makes him overthink, over-analyze, over-prepare. and at the same time, he does it mostly from behind the scenes, through nudging and subtle encouragements, because he may possibly fear that if he went at it with full force, the people he already got attached to will reject him (bc at his core, i think he doesn't want to be alone, but that's a topic for another time). but more importantly - that he will become like fyodor, or like mori, who see people as disposable if it helps them further their goals

^now this is more of his current self, at least. i'd argue mafia!dazai's fears were different, more of a direct fear from people and how they might hurt him, so it's best for him to go along with what they say. and, a fear of a lack of meaning. he does constantly look for a reason to live, and that may come from a fear that his existence is truly meaningless (and while for most people this fear may express itself as fearing death as well, in dazai's case it's his suicidal tendencies. kind of like proving his fear is real, the way a kid might look at the monster they think is scary to convince themselves it can't hurt them. he will die and prove his existence WAS meaningless, but that idea can't actually hurt him at the end of the day if he chooses it. idk if this analogy makes sense to anyone but me tho lmao sorry)

i. don't know how clear this is. i may have lost the plot there at some point. again let me clarify this is obviously not a "this is how dazai is and any other reading is wrong" but more like "if you apply this reading it changes the context of his characters and explains his behavior and how i personally see him". also a lot of projection 👍 ajsdfghj feel free to see it as just a thought experiment if it doesn't quite fit your perception of him :)!

[corfisers]

i really need to finish this one day

[br1ghtestlight]

i love the lack of romance in hfjone bcuz not only are none of the main characters protrayed as being involved in any romance or being interested in romantic relationships but NOTHING in the entire show implies that ANY characters are interested in romantic relationships or that ROMANCE AS A CONCEPT EVEN EXISTS IN THEIR WORLD its so funny. like yeah none of the characters at all in the ENTIRE show are in a romantic relationship or shown experiencing romantic attraction but it isn't even implied that romantic relationships are a thing in their world. bryce's mom is the only family member mentioned by his sister and while Charlie has a mom his alleged dad is NEVER mentioned even as a baby. the closest we get is that in a small clip of taylor's info page on airy's computer we see that her parents are divorced but thats it for the entire series. we dont even know if these mfs produce asexually or not THEY MIGHT. Most aromantic world ever created im kinda obsessed. no lgbtq characters but no straight characters either baby!!!

[tracle0]

what's the colour wip? @khufiya-khaufnak-antariksh

Oh howdy hi @khufiya-khaufnak-antariksh! How's it going?

Colour WIP yeah! It's. The newest WIP idea I've had that I might even pursue! Mmm. How do I go about this?

Basically, it's set in a world with magic based on colours, in the form of stripping pigments from objects to use sort of like AtlA waterbending.

You have secondary mages - Oranges, Greens, Purples - who control only their colour, and primary mages - Reds, Yellows, Blues, who control their colour as well as the secondaries they create from them (Yellows having control over orange, yellow and green, for example!)

The story follows a Purple mage, Fina, who has been hidden away for all twelve years of her life for fear of being taken away like all the other Purples are for 'mandatory training' that only Purples undergo, and come out of different and subservient. Her cover is blown when she uses magic outside the house, but before she can be snatched away, she's saved by a legendary blind mage named Red (you'll never guess what colour he controls), and she swiftly finds herself apprenticed by him in order to learn her magic properly.

At the same time as training, she finds out that Red is also planning a heist - he's heard rumours of a new technological development that can strip pigments from anything and everything... including mages. He's put together a small team of different mages in order to break into the facility this object is kept in, destroy it, and get out safely.

I've been chewing on the idea for. Gosh, a hot minute now. My records imply January this year, so it's been stewin' good and proper! I'd like it to be my 2023 NaNo project if I can, but we'll have to see, mm?

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

hm luz definitely heard the collector’s ENTIRE tantrum in king’s tide from kikimora’s bubble. notably when he said he “taught [belos] magic stronger than anybody’s” and also showed him the draining spell. luz had no idea what the collector could do before that. her guilt at helping belos before king’s tide felt like it mostly came from showing him the light glyph and the general betrayal of looking up to phillip all season only to find out he’s an asshole and also belos.

but in season 3 luz knows that the collector was the reason belos could do the day of unity stuff in the first place. and because she helped him, she assigns herself all of that blame as well. and that knowledge in addition to stress from the day of unity was why she took a nosedive from impulsive and people-pleasing but still upbeat straight into crippling depression. and also disregarded eda’s “my life is great bc im friends with luz the human” speech from separate tides.

i wonder if luz told her friends anything that happened during her confrontation with belos before they arrived. she definitely didn’t tell amity willow and gus about the stuff collector said but i wonder if she told hunter about it, since he already knows about the collector thing. i doubt she did bc he didn’t have any reason to need to know and luz certainly doesn’t like to talk about it.

also im pretty sure luz never told her friends about the whole petrification thing? and the sigil thing. the petrification thing because again, i doubt she wants to think about it or worry her friends and there’s no need for the others to know. the thing with luz giving belos a sigil because for all she knows she just made him MORE angry. luz wasn’t there when kikimora told king belos couldn’t stop the draining spell. as far as luz knows belos COULD have stopped the spell but the sigil just made him panic long enough for king to find the collector to do it instead. add that one to the pile, i guess.

[0525s]

it’s not even like i could go in the first place but shinee’s 15th anniversary fanmeeting after a very long hiatus being held in a convention hall with no raked seating + limited visibility + very limited capacity + no official beyond live announcement is so… 🙃

[lupismaris]

I was brave today, and it was really truly worth it.

[pastafossa]

I have two questions:

1. Have you ever considered writing a book that you would want to get published?

2. I wonder if you will explore Matt’s blindness in TRT. Like for example at the end of the day Matt did lose his eyesight and maybe sometimes wished he could see Jane. It doesn’t have to be a big thing because Matt has accepted his disability but like a moment when he’s just really wants it. Idk I thought it would cool

1. I’ve thought about it, yes! And I’ve actually got an (unedited) trilogy of vaguely humorous, post-apocalyptic scifi adventure books that’s like... halfway written, and that I’d love to get published. I was actually in the process of working on Book 1 when Covid hit, and then my writer’s group kinda... collapsed, which is when I promptly discovered that as an extrovert, I desperately need interaction to make The Story go. No interaction, no drive (and that’s also why fic works fine). And sometimes I toy with the idea of starting up again, maybe with a new writer’s group. I’m also looking into taking a lot of the original elements of TRT and then self-publishing that (with some changes to get Disney off my back obvs), which would let me keep the fic up, too. Not sure! I definitely have plans to try to get a book published eventually though!

2. Sometimes I’ve thought about it! I may touch on it eventually, though very, very delicately. Like you said, it wouldn’t be big because I really do think Matt’s accepted he’s blind and he doesn’t see it as a bad thing, and it’s really not. I do admittedly think he probably still gets understandably frustrated at how blatantly inaccessible some things still are (ex: i literally walked by a coffee shop that had a printed piece of paper inside the window in small print that said ‘large print or braille menu accessible on request!’ and I was like... ok but a blind/visually impaired person can’t read that???). Cause that’s the truth of it - he is still blind. He’s got a disability that affects his day to day and even if he’s happy the way he is (or that’s how I read him), he still needs his aids. I’ve tried to make that clear in TRT - Jane’s taken up his labeling system with braille, she leaves things in *very* specific places because Matt’s got an organization system he needs, he uses his ear pieces and refreshable braille display. And yeah, as someone who’s disabled myself, I could see him now and then going... ‘I wish I could see just for a second’ when there’s no solution for something - when he’s touching old pictures of his dad, or now and then when he’s with Jane, in the same way I’m sometimes like, ‘I wish I could literally run somewhere without pain, just to feel the wind’. It’s a passing thought usually, but it’s probably there now and then for him. So the thought’s rattling around in my brain, definitely. If the right moment in fic comes I can see touching on it!

[crimsonscloud]

have yet to work on the Chloe Meta more because i have other things to do but i'm thinking about it, so here's a few things i'm rotating in my mind:

chloe is an epithet of the greek goddess demeter and refers to the young, green foliage or shoots of plants. chloe's tattoo contains leaves, thorns and flowers.

max's vision of the storm at the lighthouse comes right after chloe curses the bay for "taking away everyone [she] ever loved" and this is then followed by a sudden snowfall. demeter is believed to have caused winter and famine when persephone left to be with hades.

the newspapers max can find talking about the animal deaths and other anomalies describe them as "inexplicable" and there's no apparent environmental explanation for them. what did this immediately make me think of? the forest fire in before the storm set by rachel, which is also described as mysterious.

off that, rose amber describes chloe as a "force of nature" when you talk to her in before the storm and says this could be why she and rachel get along so well. side eyeing that.

"this could be rachel's revenge... our revenge." do you see the prospero/prospera and ariel parallels here. because i'm seeing them.

in max's nightmare, the "ghost max" in the diner starts to tell max she's being stupid and that "someday chloe will destroy-" but gets cut off when chloe comes over to the booth. since she was just talking about her being toxic for max (getting her in trouble, forcing max to time travel to save her) the first interpretation is that that's what she means, i.e. chloe will destroy max through her own self destructive behaviors. but when i read back through the transcript for polarized and saw this bit i went eyes emoji at it because "ghost max" could have also been talking about the storm.

the storm and the associated anomalies persist in some way relating to chloe even in other timelines. max sees beached whales in the alternate timeline, where that chloe is still angry at the world, even if she's better at hiding it. watch her reaction if max refuses the choice she gives her. in the comics, waves!chloe builds a sculpture that is called "the storm" (this chloe also keeps getting flashes of deja vu from the dust timeline, so that's interesting). when i saw this panel i jumped. look at the symbolism in there. chloe builds "the storm". chloe builds the storm.

in general the devs of before the storm like to put a lot of focus on stating how destructive chloe is as a person. life is strange also loves to use the personality powers trope. this is definitely the case with max -- she questions her decisions, she's hesitant, she can be a little slow to action sometimes, so: time powers. for chloe, someone who the devs describe as "a wrecking ball" and being very brash, and someone who harbors a lot of resentment and anger (justified or not), wouldn't a destructive power like that (however you classify it) with such a connection to her emotions fit her?