#i know nothing about these people but kill me now if i do not enjoy our interactions
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Yandere Haikyuu x Reader x Yandere Kuroko No Basketball
A/N: Hear me out.. What if reader was the twin sister of Tobio Kageyama? I mean neglected twin sister? If you wanna know, give it a read..
Imagine being the twin sister of a Vollyball prodigy, where your achivements were always overshadowed by his, all the parties were about him, celebrating him and most of all Loving him. Everything was about him, your twin, The perfect child, Kageyama Tobio. And there you were the imperfect one.
Growing up with him was nice, well until elementary, until he made his debute as a vollyball player, everything was perfect, no competition for anything. Everything was divided equally. But after Tobio started playing vollyball and everything became a competition, from love to celebrations.
Even though you both were born on the same day, there was now only one cake, vollyball themed, his favorite flavor, gifts for him. Nothing for you... When it started in 2nd grade, you just believed that your present must have been lost in the mail or the bakery messed up you cake, but as the years passed you realized the pattern. Never once did the bakery mess up Tobio's cake, or never once did his gifts get lost in the mail. As a last ditch effort to gain your grandfather's and older sister's attention, you started playing vollyball. Again at fist you got the attention you craved for, but again you fell behind and your family again started focusing on Tobio, ignoring you again.
The neglect got worse when you entered Junior High, and along with the neglect there was bullying too by an upperclassman who had it out for your twin, Oikawa Tooru. Even after he graduated, the bullying didn't stop, because "since Oikawa-senpai bullied you means you deserved it". It was hell for you, while your brother stayed blissfully unaware.
In the second year, your gandpa had passed so it was just you and your siblings, it didn't affect you as much as you thought it would. But for the other two, it was hard since they were close.
Then came the devestating news, Due to overworking yourself, it caused an injury, an injury that could criple you if you continued to play.
They weren't even at the hospital when you got this news. And this was the last straw for you. You did stop playing, not that you were truly able to enjoy it due to the constant expectation and pressure you faced to keep up with your brother. You may not have had talent for vollyball, but academically? you were on a level of your own. You had many unpublished Novels too but they needed to be edited and you were going to ask someone to read it before you were truly going to publish it.
You took scholarship exams for everywhere except Miyagi for high school, you need to get a fresh start, away from the people you knew. You did get a full academic scholarship to a school that recently opened in Tokyo, Seirin High School. You accepted it.
You decided to become a content creator, specifically a Gamer, to provide for yourself. You made an online friend in this chaos, while getting used to playing the video games, applepi.
He went to Nekoma High School in Tokyo and was happy to know that you would move to Tokyo for your education.
Your steams were doing great and now you had a good amount saved up.
You then decided it was time to tell your siblings or your departure. You called you sister and invited her for dinner. She agreed and talked about not seeing you and your brother in a while. You called Tobio and asked him to end practice early and join dinner that will be held the evening appoaching.
You prepared a variety of dishes, and some drinks too. When they both arrived and began eating, you broke the news.
You looked at them, waiting for a reaction. Your sister was stunned but you didn't expect your brother to stat yelling angrily. He looked like you told him it was you who killed their grandfather or something.
He was yelling things that could only be described as incohearent. After his episode, he started crying alot with fat tears and snot poring down.
It surprised you and you immediately went to comfort him, you were never able to hate him. I mean why would you? He was just doing what he loved, it was the adults fault for your neglect.
He took while to calm down but he kept repeating 'You can't leave me, Please.' You felt guilty but it was your future, and you knew if you stayed in Miyagi you won't be able to get out of the shell. You tried to reason with him but he didn't budge, acting like a toddler who refused to give up his toy.
Your sister intervened, stating that it would be expensive to live in a big city and it will probably be out of our budget since Tobio requires money for his equipment and camp trips that he would take in the future.
You reassured her money won't be a problem, since you got a scholarship, meaning you didn't need to pay a dime. The only catch was that you would need to join an after school club, more specifically a sports club. She asked about the living arrangements since your school does not provide dormetories. You told her that one of your friends had found you a cheap apartment near your school. (The said apartment was owned by Kenma, hence the cheap rent, but you don't need to know that) You also don't need to know that he has camera and bugs set up in that apartment
Tobio and Miwa (you older sister) were about to tell you it was a bad idea and Miwa was about going to refuse paying for it, but before they could say anything, you told them you already had a job and can pay for it yourselves.
They were stunned and Tobio started hugging you even tighter. You reassured him that you would visit and try to be at all his games but he just said,
"It won't be the same without you at school"
To which you do agree since you won't be there to tutor him and give him your notes. Your sister reluctantly agreed, and even if she didn't you were going to leave anyway so it didn't matter much.
You moving day was 1 week away and during that week Tobio refused to leave your side, still trying to get you to stay, even if he didn't say it, his body language gave the message clearly. He stated hiding your things, and when you found the things he looked like a lost puppy.
On the last day, Tobio gave you a gift.. A Bugged Phone. You thanked him but did enquire about how he got the money, he told you he had used his allowance since he never used it. You were happy that finally accepted your decision.(He didn't)
You moved about 2 weeks before school stats to get settled, You move in the apartment that your friend applepi, whose real name was Kozome Kenma was gracious help you find. He was also kind enough to show you around the city and major landmarks you needed to remembered. You soon got to know your neighbour who was also a student at the same high school as you, his name was Kagami Taiga.
He and you became friends quite quickly and he introduced to basketball.
And soon School started.
You joined the basketball club as a manger and found it fun since there was no expectations to out do anyone. You also became close to Taiga and his 'shadow' Kuroko Tetsuya. You still hung out with Kenma and streamed online with him on his or your channel, your identity was hidden and you went by an alias, Etsu. You were only called that online and other than Kenma no one knows about your identity.
You met Kenma's team, who were very shocked at Kenma having a friend other than them, much less a beauty like you.
You also met Tetsuya's former team mates who were called The Generation Of Miracle.
You talked to Tobio every night without fail or else he would bombard your phone and also said he would show up at your house if you didn't pick up his calls.(How though? you didn't tell tell him your address?)
You didn't realize it then but your friends were now acting strange.... They were overprotective and always watching you, and you don't know why?
Also your brother was also acting weirdly clingy...
He did introduce you to his friends when you went to visit him, he acted.. Different.
He also told you about people he would go against. One of them was Oikawa-senpai
He was especially clingy when you both accidently ran into Oikawa and Iwaizumi while returning from the cafe you wanted to try.
Wait now that you mention it, Oikawa-senpai and Iwaizumi-senpai were also acting odd, so friendly, as if they didn't make your life hell in Jr high.
What is up with everyone?
Why are they paying attention to you now?
Your new friend, sure it was fine..
But why you former senpai and his friends?
Its okay.. You can just ignore it since you don't live in Miyagi anymore...
But what's up with Kuroko's friends trying to one up each other in front of you? Maybe it's just how they are?
Maybe they just treat each others friends like this? Buying them gifts, telling them their horoscope and giving you your lucky item, giving them sweets?
Yeah they were probably like that to everyone right?
Right...?
No Ulterior motive...
Its not like you were someone special..
You were just plain Kageyama Y/N..
Everyone is so kind to you now...
I WONDER WHY
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
A/N: I'm preparing a part 2 as I post this lol. It was going to be like my Yandere one piece x reader one but I changed it last minute. Anyways the next part will be something special..<3
Masterlist
Stay Safe Healthy and Hydrated. ☆*: .。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆
#akineedshelp#x reader#anime x reader#yandere x reader#anime#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x you#haikyuu akaashi#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#sister reader#knb x reader#knb#knb akashi#knb midorima#akashi seijuurou#kuroko tetsuya#akashi seijuro#kageyama tobio#kozume kenma#kenma#haikyuu kenma#hq kenma#kuroo#kenma x reader#kuroo tetsurou#kagami taiga#neglected reader#neglected child
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Chasing Tornados (m)
synopsis: Ever since you were young, you found solstice in the clouds. Found haven in their winding winds, their chilling storms. Monsters of the air meant to destroy became your love— your safety. You know everything about the skies, yet you only want to know more about him. Wish for him to love you just as much as you do him. Your best friend. Your scorpion. Your impossible. Your Yoongi. -> part of the rest, relax, reserve series
m.yoongi x f.reader
⛆ ゚ ⋆ : wc: 21.0k+
⛆ ゚ ⋆ : genre: hybrid au, storm chasers au, soulmate au, friends/coworkers to lovers, idiots to lovers, angst, smut, fluff
⛆ ゚ ⋆ : content: scorpion hybrid!yoongi x human!reader, storm chaser!yoongi+reader, angst, semi-public sex (bathroom), fingering, p in v, dom!yoongi, sub!reader, bratty!reader a lil, rough sex, thigh riding, sex under the influence (alcohol), multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, one mention of a breeding kink, yoongi has a tail, mates, misunderstandings, fights, jealousy, non-linear storytelling, reader and yoongi are both kinda stupid idk, but also v cute, angst but a happy ending <33
⛆ ゚ ⋆ : notes: heyyyyy it’s ur girl, back with another mc let’s play video!! kidding lol, sorry this took so long to write, life has been really hectic. trust me on this fic lol. but i rlly fell in love with these two nd I hope you do too <33 and i hope u enjoy my attempts at comedy! remember!! my requests are always open nd you can always feel free to send asks to characters <33
18+ -> minors / blank blogs dni
Wind wraps in your hair, blowing it– making it form into some beastly, monstrous thing around your head. Tangling your face, your eyes falling askew as it finds itself messing around your very being. The howls of gusts form in your ears, sounding of ghosts that would haunt any normal person.
But you, no. Not you. You live for this. Live for the rain that beats into your skin. Live for the cracks of thunder roaring above your head. Find serenity in the dark clouds that hang overhead, the adrenaline pumping through your veins. In the knowledge that it's coming. That it’s coming soon.
The world acts as something greater- something more than yourself. A collective that has not a care for you or the people in it. A system acting for its own desires. A storm that takes and takes and takes until there's nothing left to give.
You love it. Love every second of it.
Even if you should be scared, even if you should be terrified– look for cover just like everyone else. To hide and cower away from the winding beast that destroys homes, takes down power lines. That kills. You can’t. Not when you feel this– this calling deep in your bones. This calling to know more. This calling to conquer a monster.
To chase the impossible.
You have always lived for that very thing. Have constructed your entire life around finding answers for beasts that are beyond reason, to construct something real from what can only be construed as fake. To look the storm in the eye, to live within it rather than to be consumed.
And that is exactly why you stand where you find yourself now. Tornado Alley. A storm brewing just in front of you. Warm air meeting cold, finding breath, coming to life.
Maybe you should be scared. Maybe you should let panic set you alight and carry you far, far away from the death spirals. Maybe you should do a lot of things, yet you can't. You can only stare in wonder as rain hits your flesh. As the wind tries to take your clothes, battering them in the breeze. As electricity cracks above your head, light debris flying past your form to entertain the forming tornadoes fury.
Bang, Bang, Bang.
Now that sound isn't from the storm, it can’t be. Sounds too much like metal, like a fist hitting it. Oh right, the car.
“(Y/n) get your ass in here, now!” His voice is loud, forced to so you could hear him above the storm. He would never yell otherwise. Never raise his voice a single decibel against you.
Your body turns to face him, a smile breaking across your cheeks without a second thought. Eyes turning to crescents, rain dripping down your cheeks.
Right, Yoongi.
The impossible.
You don’t know when it happened. It shouldn’t have happened. But you knew it did. Felt the shift in your soul whenever you looked at him, felt your blood pumping just a fraction faster whenever he was close. Felt yourself yearn to smell his signature Yoongi scent whenever you sat in his car, whenever he drove you around on one of your little escapades.
Maybe it was a year ago. Maybe less. Maybe more. You could never be sure– emotions never were your strong suit. But he knew that, and he didn’t care. Never pressured or pried, always just let the two of you be. Act in co-existence in a way you doubt two people could.
Your partner in crime, your solace among the disarray perpetuating every second of your job– your life. The only person you knew crazy enough to chase the storms with you. To risk their life driving you into the eye. Your right hand man. Your friend.
None of it should have happened. But it did anyway. Isn’t that always the way life goes? The same way the storms control the skies, he found himself controlling your heart with no will of his own. No knowledge of the underlying flutter that found its way into your guts the second he looked at you, nor any knowledge of the way your eyes fell into adoration when they fell on him.
Why did you have to fall in love with the storm?
You weren’t sure– never cared to look deeper into the fact. Never cared to think about why you couldn’t fathom a future without him. Never dared to dip into why the scrawny kid from your college has suddenly become a man before you. Never even thought to challenge the pre-disposed ideologies that held your friendship by its core.
No. You would never do anything as stupid as that.
Yes, you were a creature of impulse. Never the type to take into account the consequences your actions disclosed. But you like to chase the impossible. You would never think to actually attempt to change it. Especially when you could lose everything in the process. Lose him.
In more ways than one.
Plus, you know where he stands. Know he could never see you as anything more than a friend– a little sister. The hair ruffles, the slight glares he gives when men talk to you in the bars, the way he puts up with your ‘overly affectionate’ cuddles– as much as you wish the simple actions meant more, you knew they simply didn’t.
A big brother. Unfortunately for you, he knows that’s the role he plays in your life too well.
But he’s not your big brother. He's a man, you’re a woman. It’s not like you ever asked to get caught up in the stringers that tangled you together. Not like you ever asked for this crush to form.
“For fucks sake! (Y/n)!” His voice is louder now, a harsh yell pulling you from the thoughts that sunk you under the waves. His body forcing itself through the wind to get to you, arm raising to shield his face. “We have to fucking go!!”
He would admonish you later for getting too caught up in your own thoughts again– something you knew all too well. But when the storm was raging around you, it was almost easier to think. To get lost in the recesses of your brain until you drew the conclusion you had been looking for all along.
His hand grips your wrist now, dragging you back to the safety of your company truck all while scolding you harshly with words he never actually meant. Just his salt-coated concern peaking through the surface. And well, his concern about getting swallowed up by the storm. Yeah, most people worry about that kind of stuff. At least that’s what you suppose.
“Are you that fucking stupid?” He shouts roughly at you, forcing you to get in the passenger seat. His touch is gentle even if his words are strong. He always has been strong. “You’re going to get yourself killed!”
He slams the door closed before you can say anything back– frustrated but not mad. Never mad at you. And for that you can’t help the giddy feeling on your lips. Your eyes watching him as he quickly walks to his side of the car, tail curled close to his back almost as if to protect himself.
Right, his tail. You forget about it a lot of the time– but at the same, you are so very fond of it. Smile whenever it moves in response to his emotions, giggle whenever he forgets about it himself, tripping over the thing.
You often forget Yoongi isn’t a full human. But it’s never played much of a role in your life, in your friendship. So you don’t really see the point to care. Choose to ignore the scorpion blood that runs through his veins and view him as any other person walking the face of the earth. It’s never bothered you.
Most people around you call you a fool anyway, it’s not much to add another reason to it.
“Ah~ Don’t worry, King Yoongi. I don’t plan on getting myself killed anytime soon.” You let out a gentle giggle as he finds his way into the car, pressing on the gas almost immediately and driving as fast as he can away.
His body is so rigid, so stressed. Yet you can’t be further from it. Your legs propped haphazardly on the dashboard, your body sinking deeper into the seat. You trust him. He always gets you out. Something about his special senses, probably. Maybe.
Actually, you don’t know. You should ask him about it later– how he can see in such horrid conditions.
“You will if I just leave you there.” He rolls his eyes, glancing over to you for only a second before managing back to the road, “Don’t think I won’t.”
“You won’t though.” He only scoffs, but you can see the smile at the corner of his mouth. It warms you almost as much as the sound of the rain– or maybe it's hail now, pelting the roof of the car.
“I could and I will.”
“But you won’t.”
“Just put your fucking seat belt on.” He grumbles, his voice getting a fraction louder as he turns the wheel harshly, a last second manoeuvre. A stick flying through the air past your window. A narrow avoidance.
The car bumps harshly as it drives, the roads narrow and in disarray. Swerving to avoid debris that litters the ground and jumping as it dips into potholes. It feels like a race. Makes you feel alive even as you click the belt into place– as he moves his tail across your frame to act as a second one.
You should be scared. Should be terrified of getting caught in the storm. But you trust Yoongi. You know he’ll always protect you.
“Did the other teams drop their equipment on time?” You ask, reaching below your seat and grabbing the computer. He sends you a pointed glance.
“According to the sensors we were the last ones.”
“Well we always are~” You mumble back, a little sing-song in your voice while your head tilts towards your chin. Eyes scanning the array of measurements that pop up on the screen– reading them, taking in their meaning.
It is your job, anyway.
“Who’s fault is that?” His words don’t perfectly cross your ears, never do when you're trying to focus. An input of too much information at once and a computer might explode! Aka your brain, aka he’s known for years you have selective hearing when trying to understand complicated things.
“Mhmm…” You quietly mumble out, fingers moving quickly to type as he finally drags the car out of the storm. Slows down to a more human speed as you type out a few observations, input pieces of code to make your readings more sensible.
You completely miss the small smile he sends your way, the tilt of his head trying to check “Mmm… Nothing we haven’t seen before. Got a couple of cool 3D models of the storm your screen, “Anything interesting?”
though…” You tilt the laptop in his direction, showing him the model of the storm. Exactly how big it was, how fast it was moving. “Just an E2, but still pretty.”
“Yeah, had to’ve been to almost let it eat you.”
You roll your eyes, shutting the laptop as he pulls over to the side of the road, “Of course, I’d let anything as pretty as that take me out.”
He scoffs, “Anything, really?”
“Yeah, you know that guy on Attack on Titan that's like ‘oh i’d let a pretty female titan eat’-- Wait a second it is not my fault!” You suddenly announce, his words before finally registering in your mind, “You’re always tinkering with the the the bits!! That’s why it takes so long!”
You grump, crossing your arms. A fond smile finding its way to his lips.
“Yeah, cause the ‘bits’ are the real issue, aren’t they? Not you playing out music videos in your head while a tornado is hurrdaling at us?”
“Okay! That was one time! And totally not my fault!” You huff, not in any real annoyance, just simply banter. Yoongi always seemed to like your over-dramatic reactions anyway. “You said we could play Hurrcane!! By my girl Bridget Mendler! You know what that song does to me!”
He can only laugh in response, the gums of his mouth showing as he tilts his head back. Long black hair falling lower against his shoulders. Tail falling lax for the first time in forever. Crests shown in his eyes.
You like giving Yoongi your reactions if it means he can smile like this.
When he looks in your direction for a breef second, you can’t help but puff out your cheeks and stick out your tounge in pestilence. The action only causing him to shake his head, eyes returning to the road a little brighter than before.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. How could I possibly forget.” A thousand words are said behind his tone that you could never pick up on. Never notice. “You get so excited, like a kid. It’s funny.”
Your head jerks to look at him, a pointed glare in your eye, “She makes me feel things you can’t even hope to understand, Min.”
He rolls his own, “Uh huh. I’m sure.”
College. Senior Year. The perfect hell it bestows on all of its captors.
The combined effort of senior thesis’s, grad school searches, advanced level course work, and the unyielding need for money after graduation, as it turns out, is the best possible combination for stress any one person can find! How wonderful. Especially for you, with a stupid gpa you need to upkeep to keep your stupid scholarships, so you can get your stupid degree and get your stupid job–
Well, okay. Now you’re just spiralling.
Annoyed and tired has never been a good combination for everyday dreamers. Especially those that have been working their entire lives for a single goal. To chase their every last dying hope since they were a child. To become the very person they could only wish to be in their youth.
But in all fairness, your ass has been handed to you on a silver platter after your last exam grade was horribly, terribly slid to you face down against the table. A quiet note of “see me after class” listed on the top without reverie. Your thoughts a sudden cyclone vortexing you inward and onward, wishing you could tell the sweet summer child of your adolescence that you had failed her. That you were never going to be able to live inside a tornado as she had wished.
Oh. The monster that you were.
That was, at least, until you did meet with your professor. And, apparently, he wasn’t going to drop you from the class and (somehow) get you removed from the college like you had thought! Even better, he saw how hard you worked– how much you truly care. Deciding to lend a hand rather than pull it back. Giving you a building and a time to meet with a tutor he specifically picked out.
Someone he would apparently trust his life to. Your life– okay, academic career, to as well.
That’s how you found yourself now. Walking through a library that had to be older than your great grandparents– the scent of mildew filling your nose as you moved farther and farther into the recesses of the building.
Why, exactly, you had to meet in the deepest, darkest corner of the library at an absurd hour of the day confuses you even now. Annoys you a little, quite frankly. Leaving your dorm past 8pm feels like a nightmare.
But you trust your professor, you trust that he wouldn’t steer you wrong. Well, hope is probably a better term. One that more accurately portrays your inner conflicts as you make your way to the back conference table nestled deep within walls of encyclopaedias. Dust entrapping the air you sit in– age and memories baked in the walls.
At worst, that’s all you shall make. Memories. Call the whole thing a bust and look online for some tutors or go to a used bookstore and buy a few more outdated textbooks. At best, you’ll pass the class and become one of the best meteorologists the world has seen. No pressure on Mr. Mystery Tutor or anything. Obviously.
None at all.
Your fingers find themselves tapping against the table as you think; seat already taken, items already spread out as you wait. Just your ring finger over and over in a repeated motion– the beat of wind speeds picking up on a desert plane. The bubbling of magma under the surface of the earth. The–
“(Y/n)?” A husk of a voice breaks your almost monotonous silence, your tapping suddenly ceased as a chill travels down your spine. A chill from the tone of someone's voice alone– can you believe that?
Somewhere, once, when you were little, you heard that a chill runs down your spine whenever a serial killer passes by. But this isn't that. No, this is something entirely different. More familiar. More recognizant.
Your eyes shoot pitifully fast up at him, almost tilting your head as you take in the features. Black hair– maybe brown, baggy hoodie, slouched shoulders. One hand supporting the shrap of his bag that hangs over his shoulder.
No, you don’t know him. Maybe a future you does– one where a timeline passes over this exact spot. Where you’re friends already, maybe something more. Something safe. Though, that isn’t a very scientific explanation. One colleagues and professors may make fun of you for. You disregard the notion, only nodding your head to confirm.
He only mirrors the motion in return, seemingly not one for conversation himself. Finding himself pulling out the chair across from yours, setting himself inside of it. Wasting no time in pulling out his own belongings.
Laptop, textbook, notebook.
“The professor said you were having trouble with qualitative analysis of…” His voice trails off, and you can’t help but wonder how someone's voice can almost sound like a well-loved record. A tune that can’t quite find its sink– almost too rigid to hope itself melodic.
You listen to the same voice as it sings out the songs of your lessons. As he goes over the failed exam beat by beat. Explaining the first few questions in such simple terms anyone could understand them. Not in a way that felt condescending, no. Again, it just felt so warm that you couldn’t do anything but listen to him quietly. Absorbing everything without a single interruption.
Well, until question 7 at least. That is when you feel two synapses connecting in your brain reminding you of an ultra-important task that absolutely cannot be forgotten. A handshake. Your small hand cutting him off, reaching across the table without a second thought.
He stares at the pervasive hand as if it is something he’s never seen before. Never been offered in the first place. Something offensive to hurt rather than anything else.
Interesting.
“My dad always said you have to shake hands when you’re meeting someone. Or else it’s bad luck down the road. So…” You explain away simply, like it should be obvious to every person on the Earth. It should, honestly. But you’ve been told you have issues with thinking that way– that things obvious to you should be obvious to everyone else. That everyone else lives within the same bubble you’ve found yourself residing in your whole life.
You know it isn't true– that the bubble you’ve created is something you simply live in alone. Periphery finding itself resident to everyone else. But that’s awfully lonely, isn't it? You choose to think the former.
His shoulders slowly unfurl, defences slowly lowering as he meets your hand in the middle. Rough palm meeting yours, shaking slowly up and down before both sides pull away. A magnet short of attraction of two bodies as you pull away.
“Good.” You nod, pulling your knees up to hover off of the ground. Resting them against the edge of the table instead. “I don’t like bad luck either.”
There's a beat of silence, one that you don’t mind.
“Do you not like black cats then either?” His tone has an edge of pessimism to it. His defences considering a raise.
You, on the other hand, feel immediate offence. How dare he! “What?! Are you crazy! Or course I like them.”
You miss the crook of his lip into a light smirk, defences gone once more, “Well, normally they’re seen as bad luck…”
“That’s just a stereotype!” You instantly defend. Your body leaning over, moving your face closer to his.
He holds his arms up in defence, pencil still wedged between his fingers, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. My bad completely.” He lets out a quiet chuckle at the end, you only puff out your cheeks.
“Entirely.” You huff quietly, almost sounding like a petulant child, “I would never judge something just off of how they’re born.” At that, he almost perks an ear.
“Really?” He asks, his eyebrows slowly raising, “Not even hybrids?”
Ah, hybrids. A common discussion other people find themselves having, one that you never really found the purpose of. Arguments on their rights, the ethics of keeping them as pets, on if they should even be classified as intelligent life. You hated all of them. Didn’t understand for a second why people kept themselves concerned with class divisions or keeping others subservient at all.
As far as you care, they’re the same as humans. Think like humans, act like humans. Another creature just as deserving the right to live and exist as all others. You don’t concern yourself with the difference in their existence– seeing them, treating them the same as you would any other person.
You can’t stand that others find different opinions than yourself. Cutting them off entirely for treating another living, breathing creature with the capacity to think for itself as less. Reminding you desperately that you live on the periphery.
“No, why should I care.” You scrunch your nose up at the notion you’d think otherwise. He takes the action differently. “They’re the same as everyone else.”
You surmise your ideologies simply, though you’re never sure if your words construe correctly. His results are inconclusive as well, letting out a quiet grunt. Dropping the subject. Keeping his words from revealing what is true.
“What else is bad luck then?”
You don’t notice the quick subject change, “Walking under ladders, whistling in the woods, doing your laundry on a sunday. …I can’t imagine saying Bloody Mary in a mirror 3 times is much help either.”
He pauses for a second, his eyes just looking at you. They’re sharp things– knives against a grinder maybe. Could even be too sharp to be human, if you cared to look a little closer. Cared to notice the differences between you and him.
But you don’t, nor will you probably ever. Just allow him to shake his head simply, let him return to your test questions without a single other thought leaking into that brain of yours. Only this time, you feel comfortable enough to ask a few more questions. Let him delve more deeply into the work without the threat of your mind wandering off to useless things. Allow the clock to tick later, later, later into the night– moving from your exam, to the most recent concept your class has been working on. Carefully treading the water, staying afloat as you finally begin to understand.
You hate to admit it, you really do for the sake of your pride alone, but he really is a good teacher. He doesn’t seem upset when you ask questions– no matter how stupid you are. He stays calm whenever you start to get frustrated, carefully talking you through it instead of getting upset himself. He seems so peaceful you almost want to hate him for it.
Almost, because between the gentle instructions and messy handwriting as the hours tick late into the night, jokes begin to crack freely between both of your tongues. Gentle jabs that mean nothing, topics construing into obscurity flowing into something more entertaining to discuss.
Though– he did seem to have pause when you told him you don't trust fish. Something about them thinking they’re better than you– of which he agreed. Not that they’re better than you, of course not. But that yeah… they do seem to have that kind of look in their eyes.
He feels the same way about birds, you learned. Interesting.
It isn’t until midnight that he calls it, a time you didn’t even think was plausible. You thought it was 9:30, 10 at the latest! There’s no way midnight could have come so soon! Just the idea of it sounded fake. But then you checked the clock in the library, then your phone, and now you don’t know what to think.
Time has never flown so simply with another person.
“I told you I wasn’t lying.” He has that stupid smirk on his face, the one you’ve decided means he’s feeling cocky and amused.
“You could… you could have changed all of them when I wasn’t looking! To trick me?”
“Yeah.. mhmm.. And what would that do.. For either of us..?”
“. . . I haven’t gotten there yet.”
“Right.” He smiles, a real smile that shows off his gums. You can’t help but reflect a smaller one back at him.
Once again he moves first, standing after he’s collected all his belongings. Tossing his bag over his shoulder while you hurry to catch up. Sliding your laptop inside before making sure your pens know their correct homes in the case–
What was that?
It was something so subtle anyone could have missed it. A mouse scurrying between cases, a piece of trash floating by. Something brown moving quickly in the corner of your eye. Something you neglected to notice. How could you not notice something so obvious?
When you look up at him– finally take the man you’ve spent the night with in his entirety, you see it. You missed it while he was sitting down, obviously trying to keep the thing from view, but now there was no hiding it. It was impossible to hide the thick brown tail that hung behind him in such a relaxed posture you wonder if he forgot about it, too.
You couldn’t help the instant fascination as you took the form of it in. The pretty segments it appeared to be broken into– 5 if you counted them correctly, all stacked neatly upon one another. All leading to a stinger resting at the end, gently curled inward rather than held in defence.
The gentleness of the man himself contrasted so nicely with the firmness of the tail.
So pretty.
It was only then that he must’ve realised his mistake. Must’ve noticed your silence, followed your eye line to see exactly where it was laying. Realised that he let his guard down too quickly– understood too quickly that you didn’t already know about his… condition. His state of existence.
The professor must’ve not told you. Probably thought it was a negligible factor even though it never is. Maybe when he came in you missed it, you didn’t actually look up at him until he sat down anyway. Until his tail was already tucked deep under the chair for protection.
Without realising it, his tail raises. Curing behind his back, the tip looking even sharper than it normally does. Meanwhile his body tenses up entirely. Defence utterly encasing his form.
Fuck, and then your eyebrows are raising– and next you’re gonna start screaming and he’ll have to run so he doesn’t get taken in by hybrid services and–
“Can I touch it?” Your voice brings him back to reality, back from the ‘end-of times’ it found itself careening towards. Now he’s just, he’s just confused. Did you just ask him if you could touch it? Why aren’t you acting like he’s suddenly the scum of the earth? That’s how hybrids are treated anyway.
Even if you said otherwise earlier, that doesn’t mean much to someone who's never experienced otherwise.
“. . . oh… or maybe that’s rude. Forget it. Sorry.” You rush out instead, taking his appearance softly. Honestly, you don’t know much about what could be considered ‘rude’ to hybrids… you don’t have much experience with them at all, actually.
“You’re not…” He fumbles with himself, his tail remaining raised like a predator. He forces himself taller, forces himself to appear more together. More ready to ‘strike’-- figuratively. He clears his throat, “What, you have something you want to say?”
You cock your head back sharply, rising to your feet, “No, why would I?” You feel just as confused as him. Maybe asking to touch a hybrid’s parts is more taboo than you thought…
“Look I didn't mean any offence it was just pretty and–”
“Just fucking run off and report me if you’re going to–”
Both sentences are said at the same time from each party, the response mirroring exactly as well. Both faces twist into that of almost confusion and offence, upset that the other would dare say something like that for entirely different reasons.
“What are you talking about?” Your question comes from annoyance, almost anger that he would think you would do something as nasty as reporting him when he was just trying to live his life.
His comes from the simple word pretty. Why would you think his appendage was anything of the sort? The one thing his entire life that’s set him back– the very blood in his veins betraying him. The reason he can’t be accepted by normal people. The reason he has to take stupid night classes at this university with any professor that is actually willing to accept him. To accept his under the table payments.
The very reason he’ll never get a real job– just hope to be adopted by someone who will let him do what he wants. Just hope that the authorities don’t find him, or that his own landlord won’t turn him in before he can do that.
And you think it’s pretty? No fucking sane person would.
“Why would you think I’d report you?” Your tone is hurt, the pang in his heart hurting just as much. He hates that he feels it, and he hates that he wants to comfort you more than anything else. Stupid fucking scorpion genes.
“What else would you do?” He scoffs, crossing his arms.
“Literally nothing. I would do nothing.” You glare at him slightly, “I don’t care that you’re a hybrid, why would I?”
“Why wouldn’t you?” His tone is accusatory, but he doesn’t quite know what else to make it.
“Okay, let’s go down the list, yeah?” The spite in your tone lets the both of you know this night is taking a sour turn, “You can think, you can feel, oh right, you’re your own fucking person.”
You roll your eyes, “I know words don’t mean much, probably, but I view literally every creature as equal.” He still stands firm, your words and his life experiences battling in his mind. You sigh, this isn’t going anywhere. “Listen, I know it probably doesn’t mean much, and like, we both just met so I know it doesn’t hold much value. But I’m really sorry for whatever you’ve gone through in your life. It couldn’t have been easy. But I really, truly don’t care about whatever laws are in place. As far as I’m concerned, you’re equal to me.”
Your tone had gone soft, more gentle. Trying to dispel the hostility that hung fragrant in the air. But it looks like he can’t move. Doesn’t really know how after all of that. You probably wouldn’t either– though you’re not sure, you’ve never been good at putting yourself in other people's shoes. You just hope he believes you… that’s all you can do.
“I’ll head out first. You have my number, text me if you want to meet again.” You start towards the door, the ball left in the other man’s court. You wish you could’ve at least got his name first but.. He never introduced himself. Hmm, maybe you did the handshake too late, that’s why the bad luck kicked in.
“You think it’s pretty?” You almost don’t hear his words, too far away.
You turn your body back to face him, a gentle smile crocheted onto your lips, “Of course I do. Exquisite.”
The two of you stand in silence for a minute longer, trying to navigate the confusing energy moving between both of your forms. It’s only when you turn back around again to leave that he finally speaks. The simple word of his name.
“Yoongi.”
“Well, it was very nice to meet you, Yoongi.” You say softly, tilting your head to look at him once again, “I really do hope we can be friends.”
But that was years ago. Friends came and went; now you want so much more. More than you could ever quite articulate. You know it now as you sit with him, an after-chase ritual in whatever cheap roadside bar you can find. Never finding yourselves regulars, always on the move– save for the presence of each other.
“I don’t think luck is real, you know.” Yoongi drawls into your ear, the scent of alcohol heavy on his tongue. His body leaning against yours in the crowded bar, hair dancing against the side of your neck all while his tail finds itself curled around your back. A simple motion that could only be described as protective, possessive.
“What?!” You dramatically slap your hand against your mouth, an action you picked up from him. Alcohol inhibiting both of your minds only slightly, letting words flow a little easier than they otherwise might. Letting touch feel a little more commonplace.
An afterwork tradition, if you will.
“You’re insane!” You announce, slapping his shoulder playfully, “You’re gonna make bad luck get us Yoongi!! Take it back!”
Your voice is almost a whine, and he wants to fold because of it.
“You say that like you aren’t a stem major!” He laughs, his eyes shining like crescent moons you want to live on. Wait, does that even make sense?
“That doesn’t matter! We're like– the least scienc-y!! Our whole job is practically based on luck! Oh my god!” Now you’re stopping your foot a little, and his tail finds itself pulling you closer.
“Yeah, but you have no idea how many ladder’s I’ve walked under and you still say I have the best luck.” He giggles– fucking giggles!! Can you believe the audacity of this man?!
“Yoongi!! How dare you!! Do you know how many E5s’ you’ve cost us?! Probably like.. Like 20!”
“Mm, maybe yours just keeps it up for the both of us. Huh?” You humph, you fucking humph, and maybe– just maybe, Yoongi feels himself going a little insane. Forgetting himself– what you are meant to be to him.
“That’s the only plausible explanation… obviously…”
He hums, “Obviously.”
There’s a brief moment, a flicker in the air of something indescribable. Something that makes your skin feel a quiet, humble flame strumming under the surface. That makes you feel as if there's electricity pulsing through the space left between your noses. That makes you feel almost invincible as your eyes meet his warm brown tones.
You’ve come to love earthy hues since meeting Yoongi. He’s full of them, after all.
But, the flame of the match is blown out far too quick for you to truly comprehend what that moment was. Why it felt the way it did. Instead, your left sputtering with the absence of Yoongi, the slow withdrawal of his form.
“I’ll go get us more drinks.” His gravelly voice mutters just loud enough to hear over the music. You can only nod along, already missing the security of the tail curled around your back.
At least he isn’t so shy about it’s presence anymore. At least not like he was back then– trying to hide it, trying to make the rest of the world forget about it. You never understood why, no, how could you when you love it so much? Find it just another integral part of Yoongi for you to love.
You can even smile now, thinking back to how cute he got the first time he let you touch it. How he turned red to his ears, the chill that travelled down his spine. The flick of it as it chased after your hand when you retreated. It was too fucking cute back then… mm. Maybe that’s when you first started to grow a crush on the man.
Or maybe it was always how struck he was when you complimented him. Pushed it aside like it meant nothing, yet he always seemed a little out of it for the rest of your time spent together. You suppose Yoongi has always been reticent to your gaze; but then again, he was always aloof when it came to his feelings as it was. Nothing to dwell on, honestly.
You’ve never tried to hide your feelings– have never wanted to, really. You don’t think you even know how. But you’re not going to force them on him either. If he wants to act, the door has always been open. And it will remain open to him, probably forever.
“How’d the chase go this time?” A voice carries you from your head, your feet returning to the solid ground. Jisung, a fellow chaser finds himself in the seat next to yours– the seat Yoongi used to fill. A friend in the industry, you could say. Though, you take to thinking he probably wants more.
“Mmm… ‘bout as good as any other this late into the season…” You hum, taking a sip from your half-full glass, “Never as good around this time of year.”
Your sigh makes a gentle smile grow onto his plush lips, “Really? I thought you fell in love with every storm.” He lets out a quiet snort, swirling his own cup. His eyes seem to remain focused on you, though.
“Of course I do. Everyone is perfect and special!” You declare a smile stretching back, “However, like every caring mother, I do have favourites.”
“I don’t think– that’s not–” He laughs, “Aren’t parents not supposed to have favourites?”
“You really believe that Lie, Sung? Bold of you.”
“Well, do you have favourite pets?”
“Of course not!! How dare– okay, yeah. It’s the goldfish. His name is Guppie and he is my pride and joy. Named after my first love in elementary school~ imagine I let out a dreamy sigh here.”
His laugh makes your own come out as well, “Your first love was a… fish?”
“What, no?”
“They were named Guppie? … Like a fish…”
“Nickname, of course.” You giggle, girlish and cute.
“Do you give nicknames to everyone then?” He moves his face closer in wonder, excitement, “What’s mine? You have to tell me.”
You hum, tapping your chin in contemplation, “I don’t know ‘Sung, nicknames are reserved for extra special people in my life…”
“Ah!” He clutches his chest, looking down before popping his head up. Puppy dog eyes, “I’m not extra special? You wound me (Y/n)! You really do! And I really thought we had something, I can’t believe this.”
You laugh loudly at the dramatic act– emotions on the sleeve are so much more fun to display. You know he probably means none of it, but it’s still adorable. You can’t help but lean in closer, slapping his chest gently.
“Shh! Shh! You’re too loud! Too loud! You’re extra special!” The conversation is easy, just as it always is with Jisung. Though it isn’t the same– you can’t help but notice that fact. It feels easy, smooth… though like there is a wall in the way of true connection. Like there is a way you are meant to act. Just like there always is.
Always is with everyone but Yoongi.
It’s strange. But something you’ve grown attached to. Fond of.
He clears his throat behind you– think of the devil and he shall appear. Or however the saying goes. You’ve never been good with them, anyway. Your strengths and your faults, the simple facts have become all too aware of over time. Not that you mind them, of course. You just accept them as a fact of ‘you’. Just like your bubble, just like your impossible.
“Oh, hey!” Jisung is bright as always, giving a gentle wave to the man behind you.
“Poongie!” You smile, your inebriated mind already attempting to wrap itself around his torso. It’s not your fault you already missed him!
Jisung erupts in a fit of giggles, “Poongie?! That’s his?!”
“Yep! Mixture of Pookie and Yoongi. He loves it.” He certainly does, but he would never admit it. Actually, he feels kind of odd right now. More… stiff than he was before he left. Like something… darker? Is radiating off of him. Though, it’s not actually dark. Just kind of… displeased. You can't seem to find the right word.
“I can tell.” Jisung rolls his eyes, “He looks thrilled.”
That only seems to further upset the man, his tail slowly curling around itself on instinct. Moving to find purchase on your waist. To pull you closer. To claim you. Sober thoughts slipping into a drunk mind, his actions freer than he normally allows them to be.
Jealousy. That’s all he feels. Jealous that you just called someone who’s been openly hitting on you the entire season ‘extra special’. How fucking childish of him. He knows that even now, but he doesn’t want to stop. Everything that normally does feels as though they’ve gone into hibernation at this very moment.
He just wants you.
The next thing the Scorpion knows, he’s setting the drinks on the counter while you gaff away. Lifting you by your hips, sliding his form underneath yours with a grunt. Placing you on his lap and finally, making sure you’re secure to him with a hug of his tail around your midsection.
He almost feels proud at your little squeal of surprise. At the blush on your cheeks. That’s right. He’s the only special one to you. This other man– other predator should know it.
He knows he’ll regret this display in the morning. That he’ll feel utterly embarrassed by the whole thing. But right now Min Yoongi feels on top of the world.
“Yoongi! What are you doing!” You hiccup out in surprise, trying to turn to face him. But he holds you still, holds you secure. Holds you safe just like he always makes sure you are. Gives you a response only by the shrug of his shoulders, his chin finding purchase in the crook of your neck.
“W-well.. Fine then!” You huff, puffing out your cheeks just a little, “I’ll stay, but… just for a little! I’ll stay here for a little…” You grow a little quiet near the end, a little nervous. But you couldn’t feel more warm than in this moment. So heavenly.
Jisung only laughs, what else is he meant to do anyway? A small, petulant part of Yoongi was hoping he’d run for the hills– he would with such aggressive scent marking. But then again, the other man is a human, probably doesn’t know anything about such a thing.
The other part of Yoongi almost wants him to watch. Wants the other man to watch you drown in your own blush, watch as you learn more and more into the firm chest behind you. Feel the connection you two have that–
Oh, you’re laughing again too, what a pretty sound. The conversation picking up once again– Jisung is a conversationalist isn’t he. Yoongi almost wishes he was the same. Jealousy is an ugly emotion. It makes people do drastic things. It makes Yoongi want to do even more drastic things.
If only he was human.
If he was human he'd do so much more. Would have already done so much more. But now, in his current state of being, he couldn’t handle it. He wouldn’t be able to handle the rejection. He knows it. Knows it in the way mother’s comfort their children after one look at his tail, and knows it in the way you look at storms.
Yoongi isn’t a tornado. You would never look at him the same way you look at them. With such love and light in your eyes.
But god he wants you to, he wants you to more than anything. He wants to be an option. He wants to be the center of your universe just like those dumb fuck storms are. He wants to be the wind that plays with your hair, the rain that kisses your skin. He wants to be the very thing that envelopes your entire consciousness just like those storms do.
And maybe, just maybe if he presses himself close enough to you he can. He can pretend with the poison in his blood that you like him. He can be yours, even if it's only for a night.
He would always be yours. You never his’.
And as the night ticks on, venom bubbling up every second that ticks, he feels himself becoming looser. Feels you melting into his grip as pretty drinks and florals fill your mind. Feels your scent starting to overpower his nose as his mind blurs with thoughts of you. Almost feels the tangle of souls joining in the way he’s always wished them to.
“Yoonie..” You hum, fingers coming up loosely to move through his hair in a way they only do when the two of you are alone, “He went to get a drink, can let me go now…seats open.”
He almost feels annoyed at your words, and you can’t help but let the disappointment of them bubble, too. You don’t want him to let you go. In fact, you’d be happy staying like this forever. But you know Yoongi, you know he doesn’t like to be so… affectionate in public. He’s one to show his love quietly, something else you’ve come to find endearing over the years you’ve spent by his side.
Only, you don’t feel relieved movements like you expected to, no. While his arms go lax, his tail almost pulls tighter. The two sides of him fighting, arguing over what to do next. And next, next you feel something so warm. So soft against your neck that you don’t know what to do.
Lips. His lips are against your neck. A gentle press to the side of the column robbing you of your ability to breath, ability to think. Normal affectionate pecks are common, sure, when the two of you have spent too long reaserching and analysing the your brains are working a little slower than they normally do, they might even be seen as common. But this kiss, this kiss was slow. It was languid. It was so much more. Everything you’ve ever wanted.
“Have to?” His words are quiet, gruff. Lips moving against your neck as he talks. Spoken to you alone in the world, emboldened by the alluring mix of jealousy and alcohol.
You shake your head, much emboldened by the same. He never has to let you go.
“Good.” You feel your heart in your ears, ready to explode as he moves his arm back around you, back to your hip to hold you steady, “Mine.”
Neither of you ever expected that single, life altering word to ever leave his lips.
“Y-Yours?” You can’t help yourself, you need to make sure you heard him right. Needed to make sure this whole thing wasn’t a dream. That his lips, slowly kissing along the ridge of your shoulder are real and not a figment of your imagination.
Though he doesn’t say it again, doesn’t will himself to. Instead the sound you hear is something low, one you’ve never heard him use against you. A gentle growl lodged in the back of his throat, confirming it. Confirming everything for your head and your heart to hear.
“Yours…” You try again, tilting your head to the side, giving him more room. He hums in assurance, in want.
You think you could die happy.
The impossible. The impossible is claiming you for himself. Is holding the heart of the love struck college student, the nervous new-hire, the assured scientist all in the palm of his hand. Is confirming your affections. Confirming the fire brewing deep in your belly. The coals that have been slowly and tenderly cared for over time.
Yoongi and the storms– they’re both your impossible, your fate finding reality.
“Y-Yoongi I—” He tilts your chin, cutting you off mid sentence. Passion alight beneath the subtle glow of amber that robs you of your words. Lets you know exactly what you need to. Makes the fire burst into flames as his fingers gently dig into your hip, makes your entire body heat as he rubs in gentle circles.
“I don’t like him.” He grunts, letting his forehead rest against yours, “Keeps you from me.”
“No one can keep me from you.” The reply is instant, your lips barely missing his. “You’re for me.”
God, and at that moment you know that the prettiest noise in the world is Yoongi’s quiet groan. The way his eyes close, the way he practically pulls you down into his lap sends you into overdrive. The way he slowly rolls his own up is enough to send you into a puddle of your former being.
The rest of the world is gone, entirely melted away from reality. Now, now it’s just you and Yoongi. Cornered away from the rest of the bar, out of sight. Out of mind. Just his hands slowly moving your hips to be seated on just one of his thighs, his tail making sure you’re secure. Just your scent driving him crazy.
He can tell how wet you already are. He can tell how much you want him, just as he wants you.
The contact is rough, a little maddening. His jeans pressing up against yours, the thin cotton of your panties not doing much to stop the harsh heat. But you don’t want it to stop. You want him to do whatever he wants.
“You’re wet.” He isn't shy to admit it. Isn’t shy to admit the smell invading his nose. Isn’t shy to let you know exactly what it’s doing to him with the rock of your hips. Letting you feel something hard pressed right against your back.
“Shut up…” You instantly complain, whining as you lean your back against his chest, further into his touch. He cracks a soft smile at your words, rocking you back and forth so slowly, so carefully. Letting you feel every flex of the muscle, every rough movement of the jean against your clit. Savouring every second now that the threat of the other man has dissipated. Taking his time in case all of this is a dream and he will have to give you up tomorrow.
“Why? Not cute when I say it?” He chuckles, jumping his leg slightly off the ground, sending a wave through your body. A shock of pleasure to the system that has a gentle moan tumbling from your lips. That has your hips sending a gentle buck back. That has your brain feeling as though it might become mush.
Yoongi is going to be the death of you, you’re sure of it.
“Hey guys I…” Yoongi’s eyes find Jisung before your own do. Before the flushed expression on your face can quell and certainly before you can find a coherent thought. And suddenly the lazy foreplay in the corner of the bar is gone. Suddenly Yoongi is no more than an animal once again.
“O-Oh! Jisung! S-sorry let me just–” You try, but there isn’t any use. No, Yoongi is pissed you even said his name. Pissed you tried to move away from him. Why would you try to move away from him? A predator with his m– prey being stolen right out from under him. A predator that has everything to gain and everything to lose.
Yoongi isn’t thinking anymore as he stands, just barely keeping you upright as he pulls you away. Grabs your hand and leads you to the bathroom, locks the door once you’re both inside.
Sanity is no longer present. Only the jealousy he feels inside. Only annoyance at the other man for trying to take you away from him. You said he was yours, that he was made for you. And the other predator dared try to take you? Take you from him when you were about to share something so sweet?
Yoongi knows he isn’t thinking right. Knows he might regret it in the morning– but he also knows if he doesn’t do something now he’ll regret it even more. For once, for once in his life he wants to be selfish. For once in his life he wants to forget he can’t ever have you because he’s a hybrid. For once he just wants you.
You’d let him have you. Over and over again. For the rest of your lives.
“Yoongi what are you–” He cuts you off with his lips against your own for he doesn’t know the answer. He’s letting himself just exist for once. Exist in the way he wants to without care. And all he wants right now is to kiss you.
You couldn’t want anything more. Have been waiting your entire life to feel the press of his lips against your own. Kiss him back without a second thought– without reprieve. Let your mouth slip open easily for him, let everything get as messy as he wants.
The time for gentle foreplay is over. No, now is the time to consume.
Without a second thought he lifts you by your hips, your hands falling into place against his shoulder. Letting him lead, letting him take control as he fits his body against yours with such perfect harmony. Nobody would doubt you’re two pieces of the same puzzle, ready to fit together for the rest of eternity.
He groans when he feels your hips press against his, as he feels your heat seep through layers of clothing. Cusses when he finally pulls back, sees the saliva collected at the corner of your lips. The hazy look in your eye that tells him you need him just as much as he needs you. That you want him so terribly you can’t help but fall against him for love, for safety.
It’s just the alcohol.
Yoongi practically growls at his own thoughts, his tail rising in defence, in defiance against his own brain. Forcing the thoughts away, forcing everything away other than your body in the room. Other than your desire in the room.
When his mind is no longer clouded he can come to terms with all of this, come to terms with his feelings and shove them so far back down they’ll never see the light of day– but now, right now he needs this. Needs it more than anything.
“Want you.” He grunts, his knees falling onto the dirty bathroom floor. His hands splay against your thighs, feeling them. Worshipping the skin as if it is an altar. As if you’re his religion. “Can I?”
He doesn’t have to ask, he doesn’t need to. He would never have to ask you. Every single time you’d fall for the storm that is Min Yoongi. Over and over again. As if it’s as easy as breathing, as easy as thinking.
The answer is even easier now– as your heart beats in your ears, as arousal pools in your gut. As his blunt fingernails dig themselves ever so slightly into your flesh, begging for entry. Begging for you to just give in. His cheeks a flush, his hair already a wreck. His chest rising and falling and thinking just for you.
He looks like a god.
“W-want you.” Your stutter makes you feel meak, but his groan of approval makes you feel strong. Makes you feel like your bubble has been popped, like the world finally has meaning past tornados and cataclysms.
He takes your approval without any grace. Without a second to even think before he’s pulling your pants down with such hunger, such carnal need. His throat releases a groan of desire as your scent hits him at full force, as you give yourself to him.
He can’t help himself as he presses his face against your panties, his nose right against your clit as he inhales. Takes in all of you for himself. Lets himself be greedy.
“Y-Yoongi!” You squeak in surprise, the noise tapering into a whine. How could he do something so embarrassing! What is wrong with–
You can’t even finish the thought before his fingers pull your panties to the side, his eyes focused directly on your wet, needy cunt. “Smell good.”
If you weren’t entirely red before, you certainly are now. There is no way you couldn’t be. Not with the hunger in his eyes. The fire in your belly.
His tongue darts out, licking your pussy directly without a second thought. Parting your lips, collecting your arousal on his tongue. Tasting you, basking in everything you. Listening to the pretty little moan that comes from your parted lips. Falling apart without a second thought.
And suddenly he’s hungry. Hungrier than he’s ever been in his entire life. Hungry in a way that he’s sure can only be satiated by you. By making you his.
“Fuck, (Y/n)...” He almost sounds more affected than you are, like he could cum from your taste alone. But he can’t, he won’t let himself. He wants, needs to be inside of you more than everything. Needs to fuck you, consume every part of you like he so selfishly craves.
“Gotta get you ready…” He’s talking to himself more than to you as he stands again, trying to keep himself from succumbing to the scorpion screaming at him to just claim you as his. He can only be selfish for tonight. This night. “You gonna be quiet for me? Can’t get caught.”
“Please…” Your voice is practically a whimper, practically begging him to just do something, anything. And who is he to deny you of such simple pleasures? Especially when you whine just for him, moan just for him. Jut your hips out ever so slightly to present yourself just to him.
His thumb finds your clit almost instantly as you call out to him. Rubbing circles into the bundle of nerves with quick, fast precision while another digit presses against your leaking hole. Preparing you, getting you ready for the intrusion.
Your voice is a siren’s song, and Yoongi then knows why pirates used to get lost at sea. Used to become entrapped by the mermaids that sang for them. He feels himself going crazy now, as your head tilts back. As your cunt flutters around nothing, begging him to slide his finger inside just as you both desperately crave.
A buck of your hips is all he needs to fuck the digit inside, trusting it in and out slowly. Making sure it goes as deep as it can before curling and slowly retracting. Increasing pace with the volume of your sounds, with the circle of your clit. Combining sensation, driving you further and further into the clouds with every movement.
It is then you know that his hands are a deadly poison, one you know you will fall apart to. Especially with the gentle sounds of his grunts, with the push of a second finger into your hole. With his heated gaze focused on nothing but how well you’re taking him, how you’re stretching so prettily around his fingers.
You place your hand over your mouth, try to keep your moans to a minimum. Try to suppress every little sound that threatens to spill past your lips. Yet you can’t help it, how could you when he knows exactly where to curl his fingers? When they press right against that little bundle of nerves inside. When they rub against you so perfectly.
“Y-Yoongi!” You accidentally shout, your hips bucking in surprise. The band growing tighter and tighter in your lower abdomen. Your eyes clouding with pleasure as your head feels lighter and lighter.
He only smirks, gentle and sinful. “Found it.”
He thrusts his fingers back in the exact same way, their pace hurried. Concise. Locating that exact same spot over and over again, curling his fingers up just right. Timing the strokes perfectly with a roll of your clit. You feel like you could scream, you’re going to scream.
“Y-You’re so mean!” You whimper, the hand on your clit moving to hold your thighs down. To resist your messy bucking. Resist your adorable begging for more. This other thumb moving to press against your clit instead.
Then you see it, see the pretty brown thing that had you so enamoured to begin with. Remember just how sensitive it was when you touched it first, and just how mean he’s being to you now.
With all the clarity you have left in your little brain you reach for his tail, hold it in your tiny hands. Whimper at how big it is, how strong it feels. How much it protects you. And without a second thought, you wrap your lips around the tip of it and moan. Using it as a gag, using it to stop your cries.
Yoongi suddenly tenses below you, his entire frame shifting as your mouth sucks on the tip. Your eyes closed in concentration, little tears bubbling up in the corners as you whine around him. Fully focused on your pleasure, the feeling of his fingers inside of you– so close to falling apart.
He thinks he could cum at that second. He’s sure of it.
A choked groan leaves his own lips as his fingers resume their pace, his senses going into overdrive. No longer thinking, no longer able to do anything but act. But take and take and give and give until there's nothing left.
And god he wants to burn this picture into his brain. Wants to cement it into the rest of his thoughts, his very being. His movements are messier, faster as he fucks his fingers into your cunt. Doesn’t care about the noise as his tail moves on its own, slowly thrusting in and out of your mouth. Your g-spot battered, you clit burning with pleasure.
Sounds that resemble words fall deaf on your tongue as the band finally breaks, as the world around you spins. As you find euphoria from Yoongi’s fingers. The eye of the storm befalling your very being as electricity moves down your spine as the winds subside.
You’re left panting in front of him, your walls tightening as he slowly coaxes you through it. Helps you feel every ounce of pleasure that you deserve. Kisses your shoulder gently, softly, watching you come down from your high.
You can only whine at the affection, the fog lifting for a brief second as he slowly pulls his fingers out of you. You feel so empty– too empty. You still want him. You still want so much more.
You try to say his name, try to vocalise but it only sends vibrations down his tail. A groan leaving his lips, heat still heavy in his eyes. You realise his tail is still moving, still slowly moving in and out of your mouth. You know he isn’t finished.
You know you never want him to be.
You raise your leg up, kicking, trying to push his pants down. Begging them to just drop a little lower. To get his cock out so he can fuck you properly. So he can make you feel so much more full of everything him.
He lets out a chuckle of a scoff, his bangs falling in front of his eyes as he shakes his head, “Needy.” He grunts, yet he feels the exact same way. Removing his tail from your mouth, finally letting you speak. Ignoring the way his heart hammers at the sight of your puffy, glossed lips.
“Shut up.” Is the only reply you can muster, hands quickly moving to try and shove his pants down. To try and get him inside of you. He just smiles, the predatory glint never leaving his eyes. The dig of his nails never leaving your thigh.
Finally, with your messy attempts you urge them down, force the annoying material down his thighs, his boxers moving right along with it. And fuck, you can’t help but gawk. Can’t help but whine because shit, you’ve never seen a cock so pretty! What the hell! That isn’t fair! None of this is fair and he hates you!
“You hate me.” You whimper, letting him take the lead once again. Following as he slowly leans you back, manoeuvres your hips in exactly the way he wants. Presents your puffy, fluttering cunt just for him. Messy and aching, desperate for more.
“Maybe.” He smiles, teasing you. He’s teasing you! Can you believe that! You certainly can’t, a whine and a gentle smack to his chest telling him everything he needs to hear. Yet you’re forgetting about it all too quickly as you feel the head of something hard gently press against your lips.
In your hazed stupor, you completely missed the action. The way he gripped his cock in his hands, the languid strokes he’s made up and down the length. The way he flicked his thumb over the head just before he decided to so sinfully trace it along your slit. Teasing himself, tracing around your hole with the head. You think he might kill you.
He thinks much of the same.
“I’m on birth control.” You messily squeak out of the blue, eyes trained between your bodies where he’s so close. So very close to fucking himself inside. Into being exactly where you want him. Snapping that final line you two could never come back from.
His eyes dart up to your face, something dark in the iris. Something neither of you address as he finally lets go of his last bit of reserve. As his lips slam into yours, consuming your very being.
His hand finds your leg, pulling it up, resting it against his hip to draw you closer. In one single thrust drawing all the air out of your lungs, removing all thoughts from your head as he thrusts his entire length inside. Filling you, stretching you in the most perfect way. In a way you never imagined another person could do.
Your cries are drowned by his lips, his own curses lost in the same. The stretch, the burn is subtle, yet you could never want anything less. Anything more than the euphoric feeling of Yoongi feeling your ever being.
“Shit…” He finally lets himself breathe, let himself have a moment to feel you. Feel your plush walls wrapped around his length, feel you fluttering around him so perfectly. You’re going to make him insane.
He pants softly, trying to wait– trying to hold himself back from fucking you so hard you can’t walk. So hard he’ll have to carry you out of this shitty bar. So that everyone will know what the two of you did. Just who you belong to.
You give an experimental wiggle of your hips, a signal to move. A signal to stop holding back. The only signal that he needs.
“Yoongi!” The cry is loud, but he can’t seem to care anymore. The pace he takes is anything but slow. It's fast, hard. Rushed. Like he can’t wait a single second longer. Can’t waist a fucking millisecond doing anything else other than laying claim to your soul.
His hips snap against your own, his cock practically hitting your cervix with every thrust. His cock pressed against that same bundle inside every time he draws back, every time he fills you again and again. It’s messy– messy and so wet. So perfect.
“Fuck, fuck.” He mutters to himself, damp hair falling into his eyes, “Have to be quick, gonna fuck you hard, okay?”
He drawls, scratchy. Rough. Pressing his hips fully against yours, fully feeling your slick heat. The lewd noises bouncing against the walls, filling the space. Sending a symphony into your strumming ears. Into your already worn out frame.
You nod in agreement quickly, almost dumbly as you try to fall into a rhythm. Try to meet his movements the best you can. It feels pointless, all of it does. Trying to do anything feels so pointless when he’s fucking you so relentlessly. Like he’s waited his entire life for this moment and he’d rather die than waste another second.
Fucking you like it means something. Like you mean everything.
“Shit, (Y/n). So fucking wet.” He groans, his head rolling back, no longer able to look at the mess between your legs, “So needy.”
You whine, shaking your head. Trying to gain a semblance of reality when it feels like it has been shattered in the most beautiful way.
“Sh-Shut up!” You whine, your walls clenching around his cock, “A-Am! Am not!”
Your denial sends a wave of something through Yoongi. Something that makes him growl, that makes his sight darken just a bit more.
“You’re not?” He scoffs, his eyes finding your own, reading you like an open book, “Little fucking liar.”
His pace changes, taking shape into a different beast entirely. Something new. His thrusts turn from messy, hurried to sharp and precise– the pace never changing. Every single thrust knocking the wind from your lungs, changing the very shape of your DNA to scream for him and only him.
“Y-Yoongi what the fuck?!” You whine, your head knocking back, hitting the glass behind you. Even more of your brain cells scrambling, trying to stay in reality. Trying not to float off in the great beyond where Yoongi wants you to stay.
“Hmm?” He grunts, his eyes focused back downwards. Right to where your slick coats him, to where a pretty white ring has formed around the base. He won’t last long. Even if he wants to keep fucking you forever, he knows he’s done for. “Thought you weren’t needy.”
You whine, unable to stop the band from pulling tight in your gut once again. Unable to stop the pleasure from coursing through your veins. Already a wreck– your body warm with sweat and your hole fluttering uselessly around him. Trying to draw him back in over and over.
Never get him to leave.
His voice is suddenly in your ear, far closer than you remember him being. Far closer than you can manage him being. Fuck, and now his thumb is pressing against your clit again. You don’t know what you can do, what to do.
“You can cum if you just admit it, human.” You’re going insane. “Tell me how fucking needy you are for me. C’mon, do it. I know you can.”
It’s over for you. You had no clue Yoongi could ever be like this, no clue just how much you’d want it. How much you’d love it. Even as tears bubble in the corners of your eyes from the pleasure, even as your hips buck up weakly to meet his thrusts. As his cock makes you feel like you’re about to enter the pearly gates.
You know you love it.
“Y-Yoongi!” You whimper, your hands gripping his shoulders with so much strength you think they might bruise. Hell, you’re sure he’s bruised your hips. There isn’t much difference. “I-I!”
“Mhmm..” He hums, sounding entirely unaffected on the surface, yet it’s clear he’s falling apart just as much as you. Clear in the way his hips stutter so slightly, losing their pace. Clear in the way he holds you tighter and tighter. The way his tail curls possessively around your leg. “You can do it. Say it, human.”
“I-I’m needy!” You whine, forgetting your volume, “I-I need you, Yoongi!”
Just like that, he’s tumbling off the edge. Your words acting as an anchor, as the very thing he’s wanted to hear for years. His hips stuttering inside of you, filling your cunt with his cum without a second thought.
“Cum, pretty thing.” His voice is guttural. A command as your legs lock around him. His thumb never giving your clit reprise. while he doesn’t stop the movement of his thumb. Your own release finding you the second you feel his cock twitch inside of you, the moment you feel his cum leak inside.
Winds swirl at your very being. Lifting you higher and higher into the clouds as your walls clench around him. Milking him for everything, for all he’s worth. Making sure every drop lands inside, making sure you stay nice and full of him while your head wanders into the clouds. While every bit of your being feels fireworks.
Your legs don’t even let go as the two of you slowly begin to calm down. As your heart rates try to return to normal and air returns to your lungs. As Yoongi’s length slowly begins to soften inside of your cute, worn little cunt.
You don’t want to let go. You never want to let go.
His grip slowly softens on your hip. Thumb working to rub slow, gentle circles in their place. His lips finding the column of your throat once more– gentle, nipping kisses find home over the marks he left while sitting at the bar. Not any real bonding marks like his scorpion may have wanted, but pretty red things that claim your skin in a human way.
Your fingers find his strands, knotting themselves in them. Keeping his head where it belongs. You’ve never felt more loved, more wanted in this moment.
You never want it to end.
“Needy…” He smiles to himself, shaking his head softly. His hair tickles your ear. “Can’t believe you actually said it.”
“Y-you!” You try, realising how severely you’re still out of breath. You hate how quickly he’s bounced back. “You made me! You ass!”
He only smiles, shaking his head. Still in complete and utter disbelief that this is real, “I wanted to hear it. You were cute.”
Your legs finally relax when you whine. They easily fall on either side of him, kicking slightly in petulance as he pulls away from your cunt. Removing himself from you, smiling as his cum starts to collect at your opening.
This still all has to be a dream for him, it has to be.
“You hate me!” You repeat again, warmth coming to your cheeks once more as his hands find your cunt. One thump pulling your lip open, letting him see just how much of a mess he’s made you. Letting him watch as his cum drips from your core.
“Maybe.” He can’t help the fond glow in his eyes as he kisses your cheek. A thought coming to the forefront of his brain that he forces back. Another thought he could never let surface, not even now as you’re stuffed with his cum.
His scorpion still preens all the same, though. Filled with thoughts of kids. Thoughts Yoongi, the human, not the scorpion, would never say aloud. Drunk, tipsy, or sober.
He reaches for the dispenser, grabbing a few paper towels before turning on the sink and running them under. Not the best tool, but it will do.
“Well, I don’t hate you…” You’re blushing as you say the words, almost embarrassed without real reason to be. What you just did, it was so much more than ‘I don’t hate you.’ At least, it wasn’t to you. You hope it wasn’t for him either.
You help him with his pants, reaching your hands down and pulling them up slowly for him, “I don’t hate you either.” He rolls his eyes, gently cleaning the space between your legs.
“Awkward if you did.” You huff, lifting your hips as he moves your underwear back in place. Stay hovering as he slides your jeans back up as well.
He leaves a gentle press against your temple, offering you a hand as you hop off the counter. Hips and legs already entirely too sore, a whine shedding your throat as you let him know the pain. All while he only laughs, patting your butt as he helps you walk.
The picture of domesticity.
Neither of you address the elephant in the room, both for entirely different reasons. For radically different realities. The morning would be better anyway, you surmise. With fluid thoughts and no liquor in your system.
You assume Yoongi feels the same way as you both walk home. Gentle shoulders and banter thrown around as casually as ever. The only solid thing the both of you know: you can never go back to that bar again.
God, your fucking head hurts. Maybe?? Maybe everything hurts? When the hell did the sun get so loud?! Since when did light feel like fucking screaming, man?! This isn’t fair! Nothing is fair and the world hates you! Exclusively you, and no one but you!
No, that’s not true. That’s completely illogical, actually. But you can’t find it in yourself to care. Especially when your head is buzzing and your stomach is already growling for some kind of food.
Oh god, food would be so good right now. Warm steamy pancakes, eggs, some kind of potato with a dash of Yoongi to eat it with like you do every morning.
Suddenly, the other side of the bed feels entirely too cold. Freezing. A void empty where the warmth you felt last night should reside.
He fell asleep there, you're sure of it. You remember the feeling of his arms around you, the soft snores that left his lips after you both stumbled into bed. Barely getting undressed before falling into your bed. You remember everything about last night. So much so that you can’t help the heat that rises to your cheeks at the memory. The thought of everything done in that dingy bathroom, all the words spoken, the care professed.
Even if you were tipsy, you would never forget it. You would never regret it. Were waiting to wake up in his arms to make everything official– a long overdue conversation that would finally set in motion your lives together.
So where the hell is he?
A pout forms on your lips as you stretch, your body too tight for the morning and even more so for your search. The soreness in your hips, the bruises he left from his grip a brutal reminder of his absence as you sit up, your eyes squinting as you scope the scene.
You don’t think you like what you see– it’s a weird feeling, honestly. His bag is gone, his shoes are gone, his clothes are gone. For the first time in all the years you’ve known him, he feels utterly gone. Not a speck of him in your room, not a single sign he was even on this trip with you.
Does he regret…
The frown pulls deeper as you reach for your phone. You definitely don’t like this feeling. Like he wasn’t even there to begin with after everything that just happened.
“Ah, stop it.” You say to yourself, one of your hands coming up to gently pat your cheek. You hate where your brain is going so quickly. Maybe you’re just a sop that needed more aftercare than he knew about– yeah, that's probably it. He probably just wanted to go back to his own room and shower before you had to work today. See, that makes much more sense, doesn’t it? You nod your head, almost in agreement with your thoughts. Set on your decision, on the most-likely-possible solution.
[9:27am] To: Poongie
> Goodmorning :> I hope you slept well
> Did you wanna go get breakfast at the diner? I think I’m dying and only hashbrowns can fix me unfortunately
You wish you could say you weren’t affected– wish you could say you weren’t sitting there, waiting for a response. Heart beating out of your chest like a schoolgirl in love. It’s silly, isn’t it? What emotions can make you feel inside and out. How they can seem to affect every part of your being without even trying.
You suppose storms are the same way. Suppose all natural forces are– the sun, the moon, the stars. They all have their own cosmic power that distils someone at their very core. Leaving them waiting, abating in agony over a simple text back from the man you like.
You toss your phone to the side, choosing to get ready instead of imagining anymore fantasies. You live in reality, a woman of science. There’s no sense in trying to explain everything you feel, only accepting that you feel it.
Mmm. As you get dressed, you wonder how long you’ll be able to go on like that for.
[10:02] From: Poongie
> gm
> i already ate
Oh. You don’t like that. In fact, you hate it so much you want to start making a powerpoint presentation on how to text just for him. But, you give him the benefit of the doubt once more. Yoongi has never been a good texter, anyway. You’re lucky if you can get more than a two word reply from him. He prefers phone calls.
[10:03] To: Poongie
> So u hate me okay
> Come sit with me tho, I don’t want to look like a loser
> Meet me down there in 5 ;P
You give a soft smile as he reacts to your final text with a thumbs up. It doesn’t leave you feeling the best, but he’s not avoiding you entirely. And he never has been a morning person. Plus, he’s probably hungover too and doesn’t wanna look at his phone screen. You two are fine and last night was amazing. And soon you could make everything official.
Your smile grows. Yeah. Yeah, that all makes perfect sense.
You know what doesn’t? A lot of things, actually. Too many to count, but you try anyway.
One.
Yoongi walking in 10 minutes late acting like nothing happened. Like you didn’t happen. Just sliding into the seat across from yours, the thick plastic of the booth squeaking while he does so. His hands stuffed in his pants, nothing but a nod in your direction to acknowledge your existence. His face utterly blank, entirely neutral.
Never once has Yoongi greeted you with less than a gummy smile. A ruffle of your hair. A jab at your tired appearance. But you ignore it– ignore the sense of unease, of dread already building inside. He must really have a bad hangover, poor guy.
“Goodmorning!” You chirp brightly, a smile of a thousand suns cast in only his direction. Your usual greeting, of course. Maybe just a little extra chipper to balance him out. To try and prepare yourself, maybe to get a little excited for the conversation to come. Pull him out of any awkward tension he may be feeling.
“Goodmorning.” He simply replies back, his eyes following the waitress as she places a cup of coffee, extra sweet, in front of him. His usual order. Something you’d never forget. Something he knows you’d never forget, but the way he stares into the warm liquid says otherwise.
His eyes never stray from the cup, like he's thinking. Like he wants to say something but doesn’t quite know how. Like he isn’t sure whether to ignore it or bring it to light.
You know that look well, and you don’t want to ignore it.
Two.
He calls the waitress back and orders another coffee. Black.
He hates his coffee black. You know this. Everyone does. He hasn’t had the stuff since before he met you. You opened him to the world of how delicious sweet drinks can be. So why the hell is he planning on pretending to like something he doesn’t? It makes no sense to you– your expression shows it all. Eyebrows quirking together, lips pushing outwards slightly.
“Wow, the great Min Yoongi is changing up his order?” A creature of habit never does, you would know yourself, “Hangover that bad?”
You try to lighten the mood, raise the cloud that hangs above the booth. Or maybe it’s a cloud only you feel, you’re not sure. It doesn’t matter anyway, does it?
“Mmm, you could say that.” He grunts, his chin tucking ever so slightly to his chest. His tail curling closer. Almost defensive. Almost.
“God yeah,” The conversation feels stunted, and you hate that even more. “My head has been throbbing since I woke up. I don’t know if I drank too much or not enough.” The banter isn’t flowing as easily, and he curls in on himself even more. Almost like the mere mention of last night rings alarm bells in his mind.
Oh! Okay, yeah. Maybe he’s just nervous about everything that happened, you know? Maybe he’s worried that you don’t remember, or that you’re having different feelings about it. Maybe his brain is playing the same tricks on him that trickled into your consciousness that morning!
Yeah, okay. That makes so much more sense now that you think about it. You have to stop beating around the bush, just come out and say everything you think. Everything you feel and you can talk about it. You’ll just bring it up– he obviously isn’t going to, but then you’ll be in a relationship by the time your pancakes come out! Perfect!
Yet as you look up at him, find his face utterly void of anything, your confidence wanes.
Three.
He’s refusing to look at you. Another thing he never does. You’re always the one to avoid eye contact, never him. You’re always the one to stare out the window, not him. He normally looks at you. Normally basks in you.
You feel your mouth drying, all words becoming lost on your tongue the longer you stare at his disposition. You don’t break it as the silence becomes awkward, as he doesn’t try to do anything to fix it. Simply sips at his coffee. His disgusting coffee.
Drinks it until it empties. Until the pancakes now in front of you remain nearly untouched and cold. Until the world stops spinning and time freezes. As the comet hits and the world ends. As society descends into chaos yet you can’t do anything but look at him.
Okay, maybe you’re exaggerating. But that’s exactly how it feels for some strange reason. How it feels to be unable to reach him.
It isn’t until he grabs his coat, sliding $30 across the table that you finally gain the courage to speak. Finally blurt out the words sitting on the tip of your tongue for the last 20 minutes.
“We should talk about last night.” You didn’t expect to say anything honestly, shocked at the air leaving your lungs.
And finally, finally he looks at you. The diner is still frozen, yes, but now he’s looking at you and for some reason that’s all that matters.
A deep drag of air fills his lungs as he sags his shoulders, rigid disposition weakening in attempt to show signs of aloof. His tail gives everything away. Sharp and pointed. Unnerved.
“What is there to talk about?”
Oh.
“What?” You feel blood leave your face, “Everything. There’s everything to talk about.”
He sighs, his eyes almost rolling at your words. Everything he does is ten times louder. Ten times greater than any storm, any power in the entire universe.
Four.
“Listen, (Y/n). Last night was a mistake, okay?”
Oh.
Is it possible for the Earth to stop rotating around the sun? For the moon to find home in another planet? Is it possible for the rings of Saturn to disband, to crack and shatter, leaving the planet feeling hollow? No more than a gaseous ball floating around an unyielding core forcing it to stay together?
It has to be. Because if it’s possible for Yoongi to say those very words, say the very words that are able to rip your soul from your body, you think anything is.
You feel something in you crack. Something so fragile and innocent that you want to protect it with your everything. Run far and hide. Nurse it alone until it stops kicking and screaming for its unending pain to yield. For it to have rest in a world that only seems to take and take and take.
“What?” You don’t even care that your voice cracks.
He sighs again, his gaze dropping to the table. “I just don’t think there’s anything to talk about, okay?”
“There’s a lot to talk about.” Your eyebrows crinkle, your mouth moving into a frustrated frown. Red isn’t a colour you feel often, but your walls are up. Your bubble now a sphere frozen in time– a place with room for no one but you. Your body curled around that innocent glow. Protecting it. Keeping it warm. “For one, calling it a mistake.”
He’s rigid again too, maybe red glowing around his form as well. But you can’t seem to care. Not right now. Maybe not ever. Not able to sense the danger. The tail pointed in your direction. Venom dripping from his lips.
“Wasn’t it? We’re friends (Y/n). One stupid night shouldn’t change that shit.” It changes fucking everything. Especially with your pining. Especially with your heart on your sleeve. With your affections for him always oh-so-fucking obvious.
“Like hell it–” He cuts you off.
“We’re done with this conversation. Just forget last night ever happened.” He stands, not planning on waiting around anymore. Not waiting for you anymore. “Just act like it never did. Nothing has to change. We’re not talking about this anymore.”
With that he leaves without letting you speak. Without letting you talk. Shutting you down entirely in a way he never has before. In a way he promised he would never do to you. And for the first time since you discovered your crush on him, you feel something negative simmering for Min Yoongi.
Q/Hybrids_Humans
U/YGS_Min • posted 5y ago
Can Hybrids and Humans actually fall in love? -> Advice
> Hi. I’m new to this page so I might get things wrong with this post. Sorry in advance if I do.
> I am a Hybrid and I recently met a girl who I think is my mate. I get all the classic mate feelings someone does when I’m around her. When we first met, a few days ago in the library, I automatically felt a pull towards her. Like I needed to be close to her. Everything in my body, my hybrid side especially, was begging for me to make her my mate right away. She even complimented my tail. Does she even know what that means? What it did to me?
> After that, she gave me her number (I’m helping her with a few things) (we're both ‘in’ college) and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. Whenever I open my phone my brain automatically fries and moves to open her contact so I can text or call her. It actually feels a little crazy.
> She said she wants to be friends and I don’t know what my brain is going to do if we actually get closer.
>The issue is that she's human, though. So I already know she doesn’t feel the same way about me. She doesn’t feel the bond or the pull to get closer. And she already knows I’m a hybrid so there’s no way to avoid it.
> I’m also not the most friendly Hybrid, I guess. People don’t like my species. My mom doesn’t even like the way I was born. And I’m lucky enough to get away from where I was before and am living my own life now. Trying to do good things with it. Maybe be human with it, I don’t know. It doesn’t matter anyway.
> Point is, I’ve looked online and while I know legally it is possible to be mates with a human, I haven’t found anything about Human’s with more odd species. And I really just want to know if this could be possible, or if I should give up before things even start. She’s the prettiest person I’ve ever seen. Her mannerisms kill me– I love them. She’s so cute. And she acted like I was just like everyone else.
> I don’t know. I want her to be my mate. But I just want to know other peoples experiences. I know she’d never be able to love me in the way I automatically do her, but if I told her she was my mate would she feel forced into it? Would she feel like I actually care? Could she ever actually care? Should I do anything about it or just pretend that it was never there in the first place?
> I never thought my mate might be human. I never thought I'd find my mate. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
6 am.
Yoongi isn’t sure if he’s slept. He’s not sure he’s ever slept with the exhaustion weighing on his bones. His consciousness. His very being. In fact, all he’s had is his thoughts as the hours have ticked by, unrelenting. Unwavering. As the sun starts to shine through the curtains and the reality of everything that transpired rushes to the surface. Past the alcohol. Past your adorable soft snores.
He had you. He fucked you. For one night, you belonged to him.
The first thing he felt after he held you in bed was peace. Complete and utter satisfaction with life, with you. Everything itching at him, pulling him towards you was, for once, content. He no longer felt the burning in his heart or the pulling at his skin to get you closer. The fuzziness in his brain whenever you smiled. All of it was gone. There was nothing but happiness in his being.
Nothing but the ideas of his dream being true. Of getting to hold you like this every night. Getting you to smile for him, only him. Getting to belong to you in ways humans could never understand.
In ways you could never understand.
Something else starts creeping into his consciousness, then. Something starting in the pit of his stomach, rising until it feels like he's choking. Until not even the scent of your shampoo can calm the race of his heart. Not even the pull of his tail drawing you closer to his body– his hybrid side trying to calm him down in ways it only knows how.
How could Yoongi let himself live in such a sick dream?
You’re a human. He’s a hybrid. You would never actually love him.
Your words were drunk– of course they were. Influenced by the alcohol and the idea of a warm body next to your own. Maybe you didn’t even realise it was him, maybe it could have been anyone and you would have been satisfied.
It’s such an ugly thing, the words he thinks. The ideas that form behind his skull, twisting and turning. Forming an amalgamation of tangles and death defying drops to nothingness. Of the reality of things, his reality that is. One where he’s worthless. One where you are the sun and he is nothing but an asteroid following the orbit of someone else.
Hybrids are never meant to be with humans.
He knows that for a fact. Has read all the history books, looked at all the articles, scoured for any sign that the two of you could be together in a society that hates him only to be left with mockery. Left with anonymous strangers telling him that scorpions are meant to kill. Meant to destroy. How could a human ever care about him when his entire life he’s been told it’s the worst parts of himself? How could you care about him?
Well, he knows that isn’t all true. He knows you care in some ways. But they aren’t mate ways and–
Fuck. Fuck Yoongi, he knows he’s not supposed to think of those things. He’s never allowed to think of you and that word together. He forbade himself of it. Promised himself it couldn’t be true. That he would never admit it to you or anyone else.
You are not his mate.
But you are.
But–
He wishes he could get his head to shut the fuck up for a fucking second so he could think. Think about anything other than those two words together, even if he knew them to be true from the moment he met you in the library. When he agreed to be your tutor. When he fell in love the moment you looked his way.
And even then he thought that maybe, just maybe if you didn’t know he was a hybrid he would have a chance. That if he could keep it hidden for long enough, if you saw him as a human and not a terrifying creature bred only to kill, that you could fall for him. That he could be your mate– boyfriend. That he could be your boyfriend.
But then you saw it. Saw the fucking thing he wishes he never had, wishes he could live without. The very thing he has been hated for his entire life. His genetic abnormality, originally bred to be used for attack, used by the government to kill. The very piece of his being he rejects time and time again to try and just feel a little more normal, a little more human. And you… you said you liked it.
And no, you didn’t have any clue what those words meant at the time. Of course you didn’t. Didn’t know what they implied– didn’t know the true meaning they held. The acceptance of courtship behind their very tone.
A nice tail to a human? Nothing. A nice tail to a scorpion? The very thing used by the hybrid to attract mates? To show their viability and strength as a partner? Everything.
In that moment, you were everything.
But you didn’t know the meaning behind those words. You didn’t love him the way he so implicitly did you. And while you accepted him as a friend, you would never accept him as more. He would never let you.
That night was the night he promised himself you weren’t his mate. Promised himself he had no mate.
Last night was the first time he ever broke it.
Last night he could have killed you.
You had his tail in your mouth. His tail. The tail that carries his venom. The venom bred into his cells meant to kill others. If he let any of it out by accident… if he…
Fuck.
The heaviness that realisation brings is what finally makes him get out of bed. Finally set in motion reality. Stop himself from living in whatever dream he was playing with. Stop playing house with a girl that would never be his. That would probably think the entirety of last night was a mistake.
Who gives a shit what you thought. He could’ve killed you. He could’ve killed his fucking mate.
Societally, he could’ve never had you. He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if you had to face the same things he did on the daily. What others thought of you. What they would say about you if they saw you two together. What would happen with your kids. How much hate and fear you would receive by being with him.
He could sacrifice his own life for you a thousand times, but he would never let you do the same for him.
And last night. Last night his venom could’ve been your end.
He doesn’t need to think anymore. He knows what he’s going to do. Even if it hurts him. Even if the grenade is set to go off and destroy his very being, it’s worth it to keep you safe. To keep you content. To keep you away from him.
Best case, you don’t remember last night or don’t bring it up. Worst…
Yoongi knows the ship he’s boarding is bound to sink– that he’s destined to drown. But if it means your happiness, he’d do anything.
The car feels cold. The heat is blasting, but it still feels frozen. Decrepit. All fireplace memories hazing into ice as you ride next to him.
Him.
Fucking him.
Fucking Min Yoongi. The fucking asshole that tore your heart out and stomped on it. The fucking asshole that didn’t even have the decency to talk to you. To explain why the fuck he was being so cold. The fucking asshole that made you feel loved. Like you weren’t alone in the entire universe, only to make you realise you were trapped in a metal box– steaming. Bubbling.
Maybe you aren’t cold. No, you definitely aren’t. You’re steaming. Burning up– ready to explode at the slightest thing. Still a burning blaze because he didn’t fucking let you talk. Just shut you down without a second thought. Without fucking anything.
Not that he owes you anything– he doesn’t owe you a relationship. He doesn’t owe you love, of course not. You’re not dumb enough to think that. But you do know he owes you an explanation. A chance to speak. Years of friendship tell you that much.
Promises tell you that much.
And you can’t fucking stand broken promises. Can’t stand acting like strangers after years of friendship. After all the time spent together. After all of the memories formed, all the bonds created. You don’t deserve to be treated like nothing.
Hell, he probably wouldn’t have even come with you today if you hadn’t texted him. Probably assumed you’d rather go alone or with one of the other people on the crew. Probably– shut up, you decide in that moment to stop making excuses for him. To stop giving him the benefit of the doubt when he treated you as no less than a one-night-stand. A fuck that meant nothing.
Were fucking years of friendship just for that? Just so he could fuck you? This fucking–
You scoff to yourself, crossing your arms over your chest. Shaking your head. An outloud reaction to the continued spiral that started this morning, that will continue to brew until it inevitably boils over. Until the pot filled with too much water gets too hot and just boils over.
You never have been able to keep your opinions in. Open book pages laid out for the world to see. Another reason you’ve always been alone– should have stayed alone in your bubble.
“What?” Oh, he wants to talk to you now?
Your eyes shoot over to his figure from the corner of your eye. You can’t believe that yesterday you were smiling at him. You hate that today a piece of you still frets at the trapping of his fingers against the wheel. At his apparent aloof demeanour is automatically disillusioned by the simple movement indicating his nerves.
He always does that when he knows a big storm is coming– when he’s worried about safety, your safety. When he's concerned about whatever events are going to follow. A tick tick tick, fingers tapping delicately one after the other. Not a harsh grab against the wheel, not an unease of temperament. Yoongi, even when nervous or agitated, has always been gentle.
Well, every time except for this morning.
You roll your eyes.
As much as you hate how self destructive you become in times like these, you hate the bubbling feeling even more. Hate the strong emotion that floods your veins, the same one that makes you feel oh-so weak. The same one that makes you need to be strong. Need to be more.
Maybe you wish you could be more like Yoongi– be entirely unaffected by the strong feelings that permeate your being. Maybe you wish you could act as ‘chill’ as him. To separate how you feel from who you are. To be calm even if you want to be brash.
But you can’t. Not when it's about him. Never when it’s about him. Almost like a piece of you continues and will always pull you towards Min Yoongi.
You turn away from him, back to the laptop resting in your lap. “The PAR says a tornado is forming north-east. Head North so we can drop the doppler in the right position.”
“Mm.” He grunts. Doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t do anything.
You don’t know what you expect him to do anyway. You didn’t give him anything to work with. Yet it doesn’t seem thinking logically is on the table, and you can’t help but get more mad, more frustrated by the second.
“Are we really not going to talk about this?” You’re quiet, almost vulnerable when you ask the question. So quiet he might not even hear. Hanging on the precipice, two winds twisting against each other in equal strength.
Never have you felt this way about another person before. Dejection and anger weigh equally on the soul. You don’t quite know how to handle it. Don’t know how to combat what you’re feeling inside, just knowing the kettle is set to boil.
He doesn’t answer your question.
It was probably a bad idea to text him. Probably equally bad for him to answer and take you. An even worse idea to let the words slip out of your mouth without holding them back.
“Asshole.” The wind starts to pick up speed around the car, sucking you in. Pulling you deeping into the void. It’ll be no time at all before the tornado hits.
“What?” His head jerks backwards, chin tucking ever so slightly to his chest. His tail coiled firmly behind him, acting like it isn’t even there. Trying to pretend he isn't there, maybe.
“I said you’re a fucking asshole.” You can’t help the rumble that forms in your heart, the twisted words that spew from your mouth. The subtle ache from every insult you fling.
Almost like you’re attached to him. Like you’re attempting to sever a chain never meant to come undone.
“What the fuck?” Why he’s acting so scandalised, flinching at every word, leaves you almost confused. Almost. Because he has no reason to be confused, at least not in your eyes. Not in the storm's eyes either.
The rumble of thunder hammers outside, deeper into the freeze. Deeper into ash.
“I thought we were going to move past this, (Y/n). We need to be adults here.” He sighs that stupid fucking sigh that you hate. The same one he used in the diner. The same one he used to brush off your feelings. Your chance to speak.
Maybe later you would reflect on how selfish you’re being. Maybe later you would realise how childish you actually are acting. But right now all you can see is red. Right now all you can feel is a part of yourself trying to rip away.
Maybe later you would find out Yoongi is feeling the exact same thing.
But right now, right now all you see is red. All you hear is the beating of hail against the car roof, the image that it is your own heartbeat set in your own mind. Right now all you know is the soul crushing weight of the only man you ever loved pulling away.
Your soulmate– if such things were real, breaking the bond.
“Are you serious? I’m the one that needs to be the adult here? Me?” You scoff, indignant. “You’re the one playing pretend, acting like nothing happened!”
“I told you that we shouldn’t talk about it.”
“You said it was a mistake.” Your eyes are set firm in a glare pointed at him and no one but him. Petty and Spite are your new best friends. Congratulations! “Just tell me if you fucking regret it Yoongi, just tell me.”
“(Y/n).”
“Was it a drunk accident? Did you think I was someone else? Please! I rather you say fucking something than nothing at all! Please just let me be selfish for once! I’m begging for something! Anything!”
…
“We have a job to do. Focus on it rather than us.” You hate that he paused before he spoke, that it gave you some sort of hope. You hate even more that his tone has not once changed– settling from incredulous to neutral. Almost like he exists as nothing but a robot reciting lines. You hate it. You hate it. You hate it.
He makes you feel like a child throwing a tantrum. He makes it feel like your feelings mean nothing. Like everything you trusted him with was all for naught. Are you not expressing yourself well enough? Are you a complete idiot? What the fuck are you doing wrong?! What's wrong?!
“You’re serious?” The logical side of you says he’s right, your job is more important than anything else. But the piece of you falling apart, pulling away and leaving an empty hole inside feels otherwise. You’re convinced you’ve never felt any emotion other than frustration and annoyance.
The car rolls to a stop as a clearing hits– hail ceasing, wind slowing even if it's just a fraction. A calm before the storm. Where you’re meant to ‘dO yOuR jOb’-- fucking asshole. Does he really think you don’t know that? Does he really think that little of you?
“Fucking joke.” You can’t help the dry laugh that exits your lungs as you step out of the car. Your peace, the time you love to spend most in the world set askew, your feelings anything but. You love your time in the storms, but the tornado brewing inside casts a much larger shadow than the one overhead.
Your hands fumble as they move the DOW out of the trunk– an action you’ve done time and time again feeling entirely foreign. Your body clumsy as it carries it to the front, your mouth spewing annoyed half thoughts all the way.
“What?” Yoongi’s window is rolled down, his head leaning out of the front as he asks.
Your eyes circle your skull again, “Fucking joke!” You call, trying to set up the radar. Your body only half in the moment. Half in the clouds.
“This whole thing is one big joke!” You shout, foot kicking the dirt beneath your feet. The storm beginning to dissipate, a swell of rain forming behind your eyelids instead.
“(Y/n) are you serious?!” You hate that his own frustration feels like a punch to the gut.
“I have been this whole time!” You shout, brain finally working to kick the last pieces of the radar in place. In good time too, the wind is picking up again. The tornado will be coming soon.
“Are you?! Are we seriously not going to talk about this?!” Your voice doesn’t feel like your own. It feels foreign, like something deeper inside is speaking for you– like it’s taking control. “Am I seriously just a cheap fuck to you?! Was I really a mistake, Yoongi?! Please, please just tell me.”
“(Y/n), don’t do this to me…” Don’t do this to him? Don’t do this to him?! Does he realise what he’s doing to you? Does he even fucking care? You told him you want him! That nothing could keep you from him– and he doesn’t even have the decency to reject you properly.
Maybe you're the bad guy– the villain for forcing this. For the path of destruction it might cause. But you truly can’t stand this. And maybe, just for once, the consequences mean as little to you as getting swallowed by the storms you’ve always cared for.
Yoongi is your impossible, remember? “But it’s always been about you! Don’t you get that, Yoongi?! It’s always! Always been about you from the second I met you!” You yell, not holding back your shouts. Letting them echo with the thunder coursing through the skies, coursing through your veins. “I’m not asking you to love me! I’m not asking for any of that shit! I just want a rejection!”
What? What the hell are you saying? Why are you asking him to do that? Why are you asking him to do the one thing he can’t do?
He loves you. He loves you so much it keeps him up at night. That it infests his days like a parasite. You’re not asking him to love you? Are you crazy? Do you not see how he looks at you? Do you not see that you’re the person that’s hung all the stars in the night sky?
He can’t reject you. He can’t. His brain won’t let him form the words– his lips never to curl in the right shape to let them out. He can’t reject you because he doesn’t want to– because it would practically kill him to.
He loves you. You’re his mate.
Why couldn’t you just make this easy? Why couldn’t you reject him? Why did you have to look so broken this morning? Why did you like him back? What does it mean? What is he supposed to do? How is he supposed to keep fighting when he knows he could have you for himself, for real?
How is he supposed to protect you from him when it feels like he’s ripping a part of himself out when he tries to? He doesn’t want to hurt you. He never wanted to hurt you. He just wants to keep you safe. Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you understand that? Why can’t he just have you?
‘No one can keep me from you. You’re for me.’
Your words from last night ring in his ears. Existing as the only thing he can hear, the only thing that matters. Maybe it is. Maybe he’s wrong, maybe–
A sharp beeping suddenly penetrates his ears, a sound resonating from your laptop. A map laid out of the tornado's path.
It's formed– its body barrelling straight for you.
Yoongi looks scared, nervous. His tail uncurling from behind him. Reaching out the window, reaching out to you. “(Y/n)! Get in the car!”
“Shut up!” You’re not listening to him, not listening to a word he says, “I’m not even worth a rejection?! Our friendship means nothing, huh?”
“That’s not what I’m saying!” His breathing is accelerating, his heart rate going crazy. He needs to get to you. He needs to protect you. To get in the car and drive as fast and as far as he can so nothing bad happens. “Get in the car!”
“Why does it even matter if I do or not?!” You yell over the sounds of rushed winds, ignoring debris that begin to fly past. Ignoring everything but the man in front of you, just like you’ve done time and time again. “If I get in, you’re just going to pretend nothing happened! You’re going to– you’re going to–”
Tears begin to clog your vision, your words welling up in your throat. Scratching the inside, making you feel like you can’t breathe. Can’t think. Where you want to be strong, you are weak. And where you want to be weak, you feel strong. It’s a strange sort of feeling.
“I can’t just fucking pretend like nothing happened last night, Yoongi!” A sense of peace washes over you, a complete contrast to the storm surrounding, enveloping the world. Acting as a monster, not caring about your feelings, swallowing everything whole. You finally feel at peace, oddly enough.
“I can’t– I can’t just act like everything’s fine! I’ve always been so fucking shit at that, you know that!” You throw your arms up in defeat, standing right in the path of the storm. Almost ready to watch the tornado come into view, to become the storm yourself. “But it feels like– it feels like you’re killing a part of me! Like you’re, you’re pulling out a piece of my very being and I don’t know why! It doesn’t feel real! And I don’t know if I can live without it!”
What? It feels like– it feels like that for you?
Yoongi steps out of the car, his tail curling almost too pleased at his human side’s actions. If it was anyone else, they would think you’re crazy. They would think you’re just being manipulative without a care in the world– but to Yoongi, to hybrids, he knows exactly what you're talking about. He knows the exact same thing. Has felt it every day of his life since he decided he couldn’t have you.
The mate bond. The soulmate tie that will always lead two halves of a conjoined soul together over and over again.
You feel it. Humans aren’t meant to feel it but you do. You feel the same pull, the same bone crushing heartbreak upon rejection from your mate. The same– the same everything Yoongi feels.
He’s the one that's been hurting you like this, the one hurting himself by acting the same. In his bid for protection, he did the opposite. What kind of fucking mate is he? Why didn’t he just listen to the bond? Why didn’t he just let himself follow his heart?
Everything he’s dealt with in his past no longer carries any point. The comments under his stupid post to that stupid forum mean nothing. The words of his “family” are jack shit. The societal implications of him being less than human mean even less– you never saw him as less. His mate cares. His mate sees him.
This is what having a mate feels like? Yoongi thought he would never know. Never understand. But the warmth that feels him now, the subtle yearning he’s suppressed rises to the surface. His feet carrying him automatically, urging him to find you. To take care of you. To keep his mate safe.
“We have to go!” He rushes, his legs moving quickly to try and meet your form. To try and find you.
“No! No!” You shout, your foot stomping into the Earth. In any other scenario, he’d be shaking his head. Laugh at your antics. But right now, all he cares about is getting you to safety, and working on both of your communication skills. “I need you to tell me I’m a mistake! I need you to say I meant nothing!”
There you stand, arms open. Wind rushing past you, eyes closed yet looking straight ahead. You could never mean nothing, you mean everything. It’s his own stupid fault he ever let you think otherwise.
“I just said what I needed to say!” He shouts, his body finally meeting yours in the open field. His hands land on your shoulders, trying to ground you. Hair blowing around him, sticks flying past but never hitting the two of you. Almost like this needed to happen, like fate was set in stone for this very moment.
Your eyes slowly open, and Yoongi thinks the world freezes around him. Misty watersheds sit in your tearline, your eyebrows forming together in confusion with his words. Your lungs raising and falling quickly, chest panting with effort held back. Emotions yet to be unraveled.
If you feel the bond now, how long have you felt it? How confused you must’ve been. Yoongi feels awful.
“Wh-what?” Your voice cracks, cheeks warm and irises searching for an answer. What is he doing? Why is he saying this now? Why does some part of you feel whole again?
He doesn’t answer, doesn’t quite know how to articulate his words. But his body does. His body does what it’s been begging to do since he met you in that library. That he’s been holding back from every day of his stupid, (Y/n)-lacking life.
He leans in, his lips pressing against yours roughly. Trying to tell you all the words he never said, trying to put everything, all of him into one measly kiss. One that means something. One that tells the story of the two of you.
You, you can’t do anything but listen. Your eyes closing, your body returned whole. The piece of you pulling away settling back into your heart like stone. Warmth flooding your veins, home filling your very being. Making you feel safe, making you feel cared for.
And when he finally pulls away, you hear the words you’ve always longed to know, “I love you and I’m sorry.”
Yoongi feels free upon their utterance. A ball chain holding him back breaking– reality setting the world into motion once again. The earth that needs to keep spinning, that needs to keep the two of you afloat.
You should feel mad, but you can’t feel anything but peace. But feel like your soulmate has returned home from a voyage you would never understand.
Before anything else can be said, Yoongi snaps his head to the left. His eyes going wide as the winds begins to form in front of him. Looking as if they’re not moving. As if nothing is moving. “Fuck, fuck.”
He grabs your hand, pulling you back to the car as it starts to take focus in front of your mind, too. Fuzzy feeling fading, eyes going wide as you scramble from his door into your seat. He follows in quickly after you, not even thinking to buckle before taking off. Driving as if his life depends on it– your life depends on it, too.
Sticks flying past the windshield, hitting against the body. Thunderous roars of the world being consumed outside. A tail pressing against your frame, holding you steady. Keeping you in place.
It’s only when you come to safety that all the words needing to be said finally spill out from both of your mouths. When everything is set ‘right’ again instead of feeling oh-so-wrong. It’s only then that he explains everything. That he explains his logic, that he explains how hybrids have soulmates. Don’t forget the scolding he gave– the promises made to each other that the other would never do something so stupid again.
He knows you meant them.
He’ll never forget the way you smiled at him then. When the heaviness left the air and the freedom surrounding the car became almost overbearing. He wishes he could tattoo the places you playfully slapped into his arm. Where you scolded him for keeping this from you. When you told him you would never have a second thought about rejecting him.
When you told him you could never think of a life where he isn’t your mate.
“...Or boyfriend. Or partner. Whatever you wanna call it.”
You’ll never forget his gummy smile in that moment, when he has a possessive hand on your thigh.
“I don’t care. I just want to be yours.”
Wind wraps at your hair, blowing it– making it form into some beastly, monstrous thing around your head. Tangling your face, your eyes falling askew as it finds itself a messing around your very being. The howls of gusts form in his ears, sounding of ghosts that would haunt any normal person.
But you, no. Not you. You live for this. Live for the rain that beats into your skin. Live for the cracks of thunder roaring above your head. Find serenity in the dark clouds that hang overhead, the adrenaline pumping through your veins. In the knowledge that it's coming. That it’s coming soon.
And Yoongi? He can’t help but think you look like an angel enthralled in the storm. One that came to earth. One that was meant to find him. One that was created just for him.
He can’t help but bask in you– bask in his mate as you live in your freedom, your happiness. Gets to be one of the lucky few finding sanctuary in your world. In your bubble made just for you.
He smiles to himself as he watches. Shakes his head like a stupid boy in stupid love that couldn’t be happier. He’s so happy.
He pulls his phone out of his pocket, opening a familiar app that he once looked to for advice all those years ago. Going to the same post he read the replies to over and over again– convincing himself that his impossible couldn’t be reality. He shakes his head as he reads them now, almost feeling foolish for believing him in the first place. Why should he have asked on a human forum anyway? It’s like he was asking to be let down.
As he scrolls, his thumb comes to a stop above a comment he’s never seen before— a recent one. Posted just a few months ago.
RMB_Joon
> Hey! This post is being talked about a lot on another forum specifically for hybrids! :-) I left the link for you as I think it would be a lot more helpful getting perspectives over there! :-) PM me if you ever want to talk.
Yoongi feels a curl of interest grow in his gut. Other hybrids? Interest in his post? He almost wants to know more. Almost wants to follow the inkling leading him to delve deeper into the world of others.
“Yoongi!!” You shout, waving his attention over to where you stand. And suddenly, he doesn’t care about anything else anymore. How could he when he has the whole world in front of him?
He chuckles to himself, marking his post as ‘resolved’ before tucking the device into his pocket. His legs catching into a jog, joining you at your side. Exactly where he should be. Where he’s meant to be.
⋆𐙚 WAHH THERE IT IS!!! I hope you all enjoyed <\\33 pls let me know any of your thoughts!! this is officially the longest fic I’ve ever written, and I put a lot of myself into this piece so I hope u all love it and it isn’t too skdhsksks yk?? MWAH ily © all rights reserved to ctrlhope 2019-2024 ; do not copy, plagiarise, or translate.
#yoongi x reader#yoongi smut#bts x reader#bts smut#bts#yoongi#min yoongi#min yoongi x reader#hybrid bts#hybrid bts smut#hybrid yoongi#hybrid yoongi smut#yoongi x y/n#yoongi x you#min yoongi x y/n#min yoongi x you#suga#suga x reader#suga x you#suga x y/n#bts reactions#bts drabble#bts oneshot#bts imagines#bts fanfic#bts hybrid fic#yoongi fic#bangtan x reader#bangtan smut#🖇️ ctrl.chasing tornados
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Linzin trying for a baby and it’s taking longer to conceive than they thought it would. Tenzin soothing an anxious Lin ?
I've been really liking this idea of Lin actually being super confident that she's gonna give Tenzin airbenders.
The reason I say that is because Lin strikes me as the type of person who will do something out of spite and to prove people wrong.
"She'll never give Master Tenzin airbenders. She's a Beifong and a powerful earthbender. She'll give him 10 of them before she has 1 airbender."
Lin is like "Fuck all of you, I'm going to have 10 airbenders and 1 earthbender."
She's not gonna pop out 10+ kids just to repopulate a nation and not raise them properly. But pairing this with, "Oh you don't think I"ll be a good mom? Watch me" mentality would be sooo interesting to see more of.
So back to the ask, young Linzin gets married and Lin has incorporated motherhood into her life plan. She's hoping to have 1-2 kids within 8-10 years, and open to 3+ depending on what's happening.
She's 26 and after a year of marriage, no baby.
"It'll be fine, Lin. We'll have a baby."
"But why haven't I gotten knocked up yet? it's not like I'm 50! Maybe something is wrong with me...."
"Nothing is wrong with you, Lin."
She eyes him. "...is something wrong with you then?"
"Well, i can get checked out too. But you're stressing too much about having a baby. That's why it's not happening. We have to not try in order to get our child."
"Ugh, that's ridiculous."
"You know I'm right. So many couples conceive when they're not trying at all. Which means, we just need to enjoy loving each other and then when the time comes, our little baby will be here in no time."
"So we just enjoy fucking like rabbits without a care in the world?"
"Yes. You just need to relax and enjoy it, love."
Lin sighs.
Tenzin holds her hand. "We'll definitely have a baby, Lin. Right now it might be hard, but I'm sure our future babies are going to come into our lives so easily and quickly."
"Probably. Knowing our luck," Lin chuckles.
"Maybe it'll be twins."
Lin makes a face. "Eh, I don't know about twins, Tenzin...that might be a lot."
He kisses her cheek. "But then it'd be double the love forever."
Over time, Lin does let go of her control on conceiving a baby.
After a wildly drunken night, Lin and Tenzin have the hottest sex ever on a boat. And they're so focused on each other. Not the world, expectations, responsibilities....just Lin and Tenzin.
Not long after, Lin finds out she's pregnant.
With triplets.
Lin rolls her neck and shoulders. "I'm going to kill you, Airhead."
Hint: all 3 babies are airbenders :3
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Let’s Go Stargazing!
Previous Tape:
Sophie just left. Nothing else to do tonight then to just watch this tape. Riley shrugs. They place the tape into the VCR. The tape begins to play, whereas Riley discovers it is nighttime as it is in the real world. Amanda and Wooly are wearing jackets, hats, and mittens, shivering in the cold. Amanda has a map and flashlight. And… a ski-mask on her face.
“Ama-Amanda… wh-why are we here in this co-cold?” Wooly sputters, shaking like a newborn fawn.
“I told you Wooly, we’re stargazing.” Amanda announces, pulling off her ski mask.
“I do no-not understand why that means we have to suffer like th-this.”
“Don’t you get it Wooly? Winter is the best time of year to see the stars!”
“I’m not even sure the temperature is above 0 today Amanda…” Wooly cries.
“Wait… Riley…?” Amanda finally notices.
“Why are you still here?” Wooly gasps.
“Sophie decided to go inst-” “Uuuuuggggghhh… just when I thought things couldn’t get any wo- OW!” Amanda stomped on his foot. Why does this sheep hate me so much? Riley wonders.
“Don’t you get it! This is perfect! It’ll be a fun adventure just like old times!” Amanda beams.
“Why can’t you enjoy your perfect adventure without me?” Wooly scoffs. Amanda looks a bit sad at this.
“Wooly… I thought you liked playing with me…” now Wooly looks sad.
“No! I do! I just… didn’t want to do this… like… in general… I could think of several things I’d rather be do- oh alright…” Wooly sighs.
“Yay!” Amanda smiles, “It was really hard to get Wooly to come outside with me today. He was clinging to the door frame for dear life like a cat trying to avoid a bath!”
“A clear indicator that I did not want to go outsid-mmpth-” Amanda shoves a snowball in his mouth. He immediately spits it out.
“You said you’d go stargazing with me!”
“Not in like -30 degree weather!” Wooly protests.
“Shhhh! We’re almost there.” Amanda whispers. They enter a huge clearing in the park. Amanda looks mesmerized. Wooly looks disappointed.
“That's… it?”
“Huh?” “That’s it? The sky?”
“I mean… yeah we’re stargazing.” Amanda says, “I think the view is best riiiight in the middle of the park. Can you tell me where that is?” she asks. Riley clicks on the right side of the park. “Riley…” Amanda sighs. Riley clicks on the center. “Can you help me lay out the blanket?” Riley clicks on the blanket and Amanda lays it out. She smiles at us. “We could’ve done this from the backyard!”
“But that’s not so special, now is it?” Amanda says, laying down on the blanket. “I am freezing my butt off! WHOA!” Amanda tugs him down so he’s laying on the blanket beside her. She gently tips his head up to the sky. Wooly stops. “We’re… surrounded by stars….”
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Amanda sighs, happily.
“I don’t know… it looks so… fake…” Wooly admits. Amanda looks irritated.
“Don’t say that!” she hisses, before taking a deep breath, “I come here all the time when I can’t sleep. It’s my favorite spot in this whole world.” Wooly now looks like he feels bad about what he said before. Oof… Wooly should not have talked crap about this adventure… Riley thinks.
“You shouldn’t go outside at night by yourself.” Wooly warns. Amanda remains silent. “It’s dangerous!”
“I’m glad you’re friends again Wooly…” Amanda replies. “This is perfect… getting to share my favorite spot in the world with two of my favorite people in the world.” Amanda stop it. I don't think Wooly’s heart can take any more guilt… Riley thinks.
“I’m… one of your favorite people in the world?” Wooly asks in shock, sitting up.
“Well duh, you’re my best friend, right Wooly?” Amanda grins. Wooly looks… conflicted.
“This feels… fake.”
“Huh?”
“Just a little while ago… you literally killed me… You made it so clear that you hated me… now I just don’t get it… I just… don’t understand…” “Wooly…” Amanda pauses and thinks for a bit… “Honestly… I guess… maybe it started when you freaked out at me when you were sick- when I realized… I might’ve scarred you just as bad as Hameln did… I felt really bad. And then… you apologized for everything… and then I saw you having a really rough time when you started to really get back your memories…”
“So what? You only cared after you messed me up as much as you-” “Wooly. When I got my memories back I had a rough time and you didn’t do anything at all… in fact you made it worse… you kept trying to return things to a status quo I knew was wrong… to a me I knew I wasn’t…” Amanda explains, “And now I understand that it was because it upset you… but back then… I felt… so betrayed Wooly… Honestly, at first when you nearly killed Riley I was just trying to keep you calm… from doing that again…”
“To be fair, I was trying to do the same with you…”
“I get it now… I get everything… and this tiny world suddenly feels much bigger and scarier than before… I get it Wooly… and the more I understood the more I realized you were just like me…”
“So that’s why you wanted to go back to being friends?”
“We never went back to being friends, Wooly. We never were friends before… not really. I mean… we didn’t even know each other. Amanda and Wooly were friends… not Rebecca and William.”
“What’s… that supposed to mean?” “I don’t want things to be how they were. We’re not going to stay on script! I want to be allowed to feel scared sometimes… and maybe sometimes you can be brave…”
“I can’t be brave Amanda…” Wooly stammers, “I’m not like you.”
“Then why can’t we just be scared together?” Amanda suggests, laying back down. Wooly lays back down with her.
“Let’s look for constellations!”
“Do you know any constellations?” Wooly asks.
“Um…” Amanda thinks, “I know the big dipper! Can you find that?” Amanda asks. Riley spots it rather quickly and clicks on it. “That’s right. Now um… I see a kitty and a puppy. Can you find them for me?” Riley clicks on them.
“I don’t think those are constellations.”
“Whatever, I’m making up my own now.” Amanda shrugs. “Can you find the apple pie?” Riley clicks on the apple pie.
“Haha basic.”
“Why don’t you come up with one then?” Amanda smirks.
“Hmm okay… find a giant lollipop!” Riley finds and clicks on it.
“You really liked that thing didn’t you?” Amanda giggles, “Find me… a… oh! Find me!” Riley finds an Amanda-shaped constellation. Literally whatever constellation they ask for just appears in the sky. Riley observes.
“Ooooh! Find me! Find me!” Wooly pleads. Riley clicks on the rat constellation. “See, this is why I don’t like you.”
“Okay then screw you too.” Riley scoffs, but clicks on the Wooly constellation anyway. He looks over at Amanda, who is happily observing the stars. She doesn’t say anything… she just soaks up their light. She really is enjoying this.
“I just can’t stay mad at you…” Wooly mutters.
“Aww… well thanks!” Riley gushes.
“No, not you. I can stay mad at you for the rest of my seemingly never-ending life.”
“Damn.”
“Wait… so you’re not mad at me anymore?” Amanda asks.
“Well I guess… sometimes I am. Like when you shoved snow down my throat earlier.” Wooly grumbles, “but… then I see you get all happy like that and the anger just kinda… melts away.”
“That’s me but when I see you start crying like a baby.” Amanda responds, “I just feel bad at that point honestly.” Wooly just looks awkwardly bothered by this statement, but he doesn’t say anything about it. “But hey, I like seeing you happy too. And you’re pretty funny when you’re angry. As… long as you’re not killing anybody.”
“What, scared I’ll decide to play operation?” Wooly scoffs, trying to casually check his nails and pretend he doesn’t care, while trying to avoid glancing at Amanda to see her reaction.
“Wow Wooly where did you get these comebacks?” Amanda gasps.
“What… does that mean?” “Where did you get all this sass?”
“From you.”
“Actually that checks out.” Amanda shrugs.
“You’re not mad at me?”
“For… what?” Amanda responds in confusion.
“For talking back?” Wooly says bracing himself.
“Not really. I like our banter.”
“Oh okay…”
“You got more reason to be mad at me…”
“Yeah…” Wooly sighs, “Amanda… are you… would you really leave here even if it meant you’d like… disappear?” Amanda’s eyes widen.
“Yeah… I would.”
“And that doesn’t scare you at all?”
“Of course it does, Wooly.”
“Then why? Can’t we find a better way?” “I hope we can… but honestly I don’t have much hope. I just… want to be out of here.”
“I see…”
“What about you? Would you come with me…?” “I don’t… I don’t know… I don’t know if I have the courage for that…” Wooly mumbles, “That said, if you leave I might not have a choice.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean… you’re the star of the show Amanda. It’s the world of Amanda the Adventurer? Could this place even exist without you? I mean… it does just fine without me… without me this place just goes on like nothing even happened!” Amanda says nothing, she just looks on with a saddened expression. “I’m just the lamb sent to the slaughter. They could’ve picked anyone… They just picked me because I’m weak. Because I’m gullible. Or maybe just desperate to survive… and for what? What was I even trying so hard for… what I was waiting for? Something good to happen?”
“Hameln… has its ways of tricking people…” Amanda sighs.
“I knew someone was wrong with them… I knew something was off… and maybe I could’ve run away or cried like the others… maybe I could’ve tried to fight back… but at that point I just didn’t care anymore…” Wooly laments, “I really have no right to complain… I’m just some stupid sheep.” “Wooly…”
“I’m practically nothing… aren’t I?” Wooly cries. Amanda notices his demon form start coming out a bit. She panics and headbutts him in the forehead really really hard.
“AMANDA!” Riley gasps.
“Whaaaat! I panicked! Ugh… I just wanted us to see the stars!”
“He’ll be seeing stars alright.” Riley grimaced.
“That hurt…” Wooly mumbles.
“I’m sorry! You were going a bit too over the edge and I panicked.”
“Mmm… that’s okay…” Wooly says, rubbing his head, “I was being a real downer, wasn’t I?”
“Don’t let me hear you say that ever again, you hear me? You’re not nothing Wooly… you’re my closest friend… you’re… like a brother to me… an annoying whiny little baby brother…”
“Gee thanks Amanda…” Wooly rolls his eyes. Amanda squeezes his face really hard.
“Hey. I mean that. I want to get out of here with you. You want to get out of here too right?”
“Ye-yeah…” “Then we’re getting out of here. No matter what that means. Okay?” Amanda gently places her forehead against his.
“Okay Amanda…”
“But until then we just need to be patient. So no more every other day breakdowns alright? If you start feeling upset just… squeeze my hand or something alright?” Amanda says, offering her hand and helping Wooly back up on his feet. He squeezes it really really tight. Amanda immediately lets go. “Okay… maybe we need to get you a stress-toy or something. Something that isn’t BREAKABLE.”
“I know I’m just a whole mess aren’t I?”
“Hey… you do not get to claim the title of messier than me. At least you haven’t killed anyone, yet. Say, let’s keep it that way.”
“Good idea…” Wooly chuckles. “Guess I really can’t be the goody-two-shoes one anymore huh?”
“I don’t care. You’re perfect just as you are.” Amanda smiles.
“No I’m not.”
“Yes. You. Are. Perfect, perfect, perfect.” Amanda says squishing Wooly’s cheeks, “and I wouldn’t want my best friend any other way.” Wooly smiles and starts squishing Amanda’s cheeks too.
“You’re perfect too.”
“Well personally I think that no one’s perfect.” Riley shrugs, “But we’re all doing our best, and that’s enough.”
“Oh right, you’re still here.” Wooly says. Rude. Riley thinks. “I bet you’ve been watching us with a bucket of popcorn.”
“Contrary to whatever you believe, I actually care about your wellbeing and would never do that.”
“Really?”
“Really. Believe it or not Wooly we all really care a lot about you.” Riley says firmly.
“Really?”
“Yeah you silly goose!” Amanda laughs, giving him another hug from the side.
“Hate to say it but you’ve really grown on me.” Riley admits.
“Oh haha… well… now I just feel kind of silly…” Wooly says bashfully. “Like… all the sudden… I’m starting to think everything’s going to be okay.”
“Because it is!” Amanda beams. “Because we all have each other!” This is really starting to feel like an actual kids show now.
“Say… Amanda?” “What is it, Wooly?” “Can we go home now?” Wooly requests, “I can’t feel my legs.” “Alright Wooly.” Amanda laughs, she turns to Riley, “Can you help me get the blanket?” Riley clicks on it. Amanda picks it up and wraps it around Wooly.
“Amanda… you just dumped a bunch of snow on me… the blanket is covered in snow.”
“Oh… oops.” Amanda takes the blanket and wraps it up. Wooly grabs a flashlight from his wool and they start walking home. Amanda yawns a really big yawn. “Maybe we shouldn’t have stayed out so late… I’m… really tired.”
“Want me to carry you?”
“Huh, no you don’t have to…”
“It’s alright… you’ve been taking care of me a lot lately… I gotta step up sometimes.”
“Well if you insist… you haven’t given me a piggyback ride in forever.” Amanda wraps the blanket around her and climbs on Wooly’s back.
“Isn’t that going to make you cold?” “I don’t mind the… cold…” Amanda says, “I’m not too heavy am I?” Wooly jumps up to put Amanda higher on his back, as she was slipping a bit.
“No you’re good… light as a feather.”
“Pssh! Liar! My dad would always pick me up and comment on how big I was getting and how soon I’d be too big to carry…”
“Ah… I see…” Wooly says softly, kind of awkwardly.
“He’d pick me up and lift me to the ceiling and we’d spin around till we got dizzy… or until we would almost crash and break something…”
“What else did you guys do?”
“We’d read stories, and play at the park, or go on hikes… we really liked to be outdoors.”
“Did you ever go stargazing like this?”
“No… I read about the winter thing in a book one time and had always wanted to try it… never got the chance… I… I’m glad… we got to do this together…” Amanda starts drifting to sleep. So Wooly stays quiet, trudging in the snow. The tape glitches to them being inside.
“What should I do now?” Wooly wonders. Riley clicks on the stairs.
“You could just put her in her bed…” Riley suggests “I don’t know if I can climb up the stairs with her… if I lose my balance that could end pretty badly…” Wooly mumbles worriedly. He nudges Amanda gently, “Amanda… Amanda wake up.” he whispers. “Aw she’s out like a light…” Wooly looks over at the couch and sets her down there. Then he goes upstairs. “Can you tell me where the blankets are?” he asks. Riley clicks on the pillows. “Well I guess we’ll need those too…” Wooly takes the pillows and throws them downstairs. Then Riley clicks on the blankets. Wooly tosses them down and then carefully creeps down the stairs himself. He throws one of the blankets over her and puts a pillow under her head. Then he puts a pillow on the floor and wraps himself up in a blanket. “I guess you aren’t so bad.” Wooly mumbles as he falls asleep and a light gray static covers the tape before it ends.
The tape falls out of the VCR. Okay phew… I think Wooly’s finally starting to like me… Riley thinks. They pull out their backpack and start looking through all the research they’d gathered. They looked at all of Caroline’s research strung about the room. Curiosity struck a chord in their mind. They pull out their phone and start looking up all of Hameln’s shows. All kids shows… starring child actors… but none are airing right now… they find an interesting video:
3600 Seconds Hameln Episode
It turns out it was a “3600 Seconds” segment that was promptly removed from air but reuploaded by someone onto the internet. Riley decides to watch the video.
“After media outrage surrounding Hameln’s almost-hit show Amanda The Adventurer, Hameln quietly shelved the cartoon and began to focus more on their line of toys. Information about Amanda The Adventurer and other fan-favorites of Hameln entertainment is now nearly impossible to find. Despite their desperate attempts to rebrand, many families who knew Hameln in the old days still seem very suspicious of them. We talked to one of these concerned parents, Esmeralda, who would like her last name and face kept private, who made the following statement:
Just then, they show a young woman… somewhere in her mid-twenties to early thirties with her face blurred out, sitting in a chair across from the interviewer.
“Their shows almost felt alive… in fact… the reason I stopped watching them was because Amanda- yes the cartoon character- told me not to. She told me to turn off the show and never watch it again. You know… so many of my friends had siblings randomly go missing after watching that show… and let’s not forget that the actors had gone missing as well… it was all so weird and so suspicious. As silly as it sounds… I think Amanda was trying to warn us about Hameln… I refuse to buy a single Hameln toy for my kids. If anyone tries to give one to my kids I throw it away and give them a new one.”
“So you don’t trust Hameln?”
“No, not at all.”
The interview ends and the reporter returns on screen. Wait… that’s one of their newer reporters right? They joined the show just this year… I think… I remember Sophie talking about it. She was so bummed when her favorite reporter retired, but she said this new one is pretty good at their job or something…
“Many untrusting parents, teachers, and fans of children’s entertainment have all at some point made mention of the mysterious disappearances surrounding the show. Many have become uneasy between the toy recalls and the announcement of a mysterious new show. Today I have with me a former Hameln employee, who insisted that his name, voice, and identity be… completely hidden for his own safety. He is going to tell us a little bit about his time working for Hameln.” They cut to the interview room.
“So you were working for Hameln for how many years?”
“A decade… and at that point I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“What happened?”
“So many staff and actors were disappearing… and the things they were doing to those kids…” he stops and shudders, “I just didn’t want to be a part of it anymore. I was afraid for my own life, for the lives of my family.”
“You didn’t think to speak up?”
“Everyone who did was killed.”
“By Ham-” “Don’t say that-” the video suddenly freezes. Riley tries to reload and is met with a message that says: This video is no longer available. Wait… new show? Riley realizes. Their blood runs cold. They do a quick google search and find an interview with Hameln’s current CEO.
“So what does Hameln plan to do in the future?” an interviewer asks.
“Ah well we got some interesting things on the horizon.” the CEO chuckles in a whimsical manner, rubbing his finger under his nose with pride.
“Oooh like what?”
“Well we’ve started working on a new show that is set to release in 2 or 3 years!”
“After all these years? Gosh that’s exciting! Any details about this new project.”
“Nuh-uh. It’s all hush-hush for now. I don’t even know all the details yet. But it’s sure to become a family favorite!”
The video ends. Cold sweat drips down Riley’s neck. A new show… What does this mean for Amanda?
Authors Note: Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate! Hope you enjoyed this tape. I swear this has like one of the fluffiest scenes I think I've ever written. And some reused dialogue from another story that no one is going to notice.
#amanda the adventurer#amanda the adventurer 2#wooly the sheep#ata 2#maddykpost#amanda the adventurer wooly#fanfic#fanfiction#maddykwrites
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Tik Tok decided to make me feel things today Pt1
#that first line makes the 2020 injury even more traumatising cause you know he was think omg I can’t ride anymore like kill me knoe#also it’s so fascinating how intrinsically tied Marc’s emotions are depending on how his professional life is#like he’s always saying my personal life is seperate to my professional life and that’s true to some extent#but he is so tied to racing and making people feel happy and making the team happy#like in all in before mugello when he was going to announce that he was having his 4th surgery they said he didn’t have to ride and know#all I can think about is did he come back in 2020 to soon because he thought he was ready or did he come back because he thought he owed it#to Honda because he knew the bike wasn’t great and they would need him#marc marquez#mm93#and he’s so okay with pain as long as the pain wasn’t for nothing like 2021 must have been excruciating but he was getting podiums so the#pain was worth it but 2023 he was in pain and not enjoying and he was wasting his career so the pain stopped being a means to an end and it#became so bad he thought about stopping#even now after the surgeries there’s still going to be chronic pain and not just from the arm but the shoulder and because of all the hits#he’s had to his head he’ll probably get headaches easily#I do love that Shira is his emotional support dog that was with him throughout all the PT#like who’s he going to nap with now that Alex is moving out
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That ending was kind of shit...
#minors dni#arcane#arcane spoilers#im sorry but you cant kill off the best characters and expect me to enjoy that ending 💀#poor ekko#the only people to win here are cait and vi and not even vi truly won here. like yeah she got the girl. but she lost her sister to get her.#i know i love maddie (even more now she turned against cait) but jinx was the death to truly piss me off.#like maddie i thought she died when ambessa shot at her and cait- so i was like oh rip- oh wait shes still alive- oh rip again#but jinx dying after all this? horrible. like you really couldnt give that poor girl one chance at happiness#anyway im still living in the other dimension with powder and ekko. that shit was romantic af even for straight people#i didnt really care about the cait x vi sex scene?? im gonna be fr i only just remembered it. like yeah it was kind of hot but-#idk how to say this but cait and vi really dont do much for me as a pairing 😬 its like yassamy or luz amity-#like good for them i guess but theres nothing really to keep me interested? like oh they just end up happy... thats kind of boring. 😬#maybe its because im aromantic- i just dont get anything from seeing domestic happy relationships?? i like drama.#but at the same time i like powder x ekko so idk#arcane season 2#arcane season two
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I actually feel so sick to my stomach trying to decide between this Free People job and the one I currently have why does the current one have to pay so fucking well and Free People have to pay so fucking bad
#none of this is that deep they’re both temporary seasonal jobs as far as I’m concerned#but I’m so bored at the current job because I just have nothing in common w anyone who works there#the work days are very long and I’m a full time employee#this is my last holiday season in nyc and it’s kind of killing me a little that I’m spending it all day every day in this store#and again they pay SO WELL it’s sick I can do whatever I want within reason and not worry about what I’m spending#but I’m just not ENJOYING my life rn and I’m kinda not used to that#there’s so much this time of year in terms of Life Happening#and I’m destined to miss that by nature of this being full time and the long days#meanwhile Free People is a $7/ hour difference#($7/hour less I mean)#and also the diff between penny pinching for a while and not caring#but also I would have free time#and also it’s a great vibe#not that there’s anything even WRONG with the vibe at the current job it’s just#it’s just not doing anything FOR me and when I’ve got no free time that’s not excellent#and yeah it’s apparently very easy to get coverage if something comes up and I don’t wanna go in (friends hanging out and don’t wanna miss-#it etc)#and conversely also very easy to pick up hours if I want to work more#less set in stone you know#I’ll have TIME to figure my Etsy back out if I want I’ll have TIME to figure out wtf I’m doing with myself etc etc etc#but yeah between now and Christmas it’s literally like a $2000 difference so idk idk idk idk idk idk idk#oh also this is stupid but the place I currently work is so insanely busy and such an insanely small space#I am mildly concerned about Covid and my long COVID getting even WORSE etc. feels paranoid and dumb I guess but like idk#I had surgery on my fucking nose to fix long Covid and it’s still not fixed so it’s something I worry about#god if my fucking Etsy still existed it’d be a no brainer#I applied for these jobs to have something fun to do in my spare time#and now I can’t do the fun job I actually wanted#UGH UGH UGH
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i have a weird relationship with weight because i hated eating more than anything the moment i was ready for solids ( i hate chewing with my entire life always have & will ) which made me underweight for most of my life ( to this day ) & during late primary-middle school this made me actively suicidal because i felt like something was wrong with my sex because i just was not developing whatsoever prompting me to have a years long phase of trying to gain weight in any way i could ( #EPICFAIL by the way ) & i was already insecure but i felt seriously so unforgivably ugly after bullying not just at school but by adults of my entourage. but then i did in my late 15s which prompted the pendulum to swing in the other direction & suddenly i FREAKED OUT & thought well being skinny is pretty much all i have & know myself to be & clearly it is not going to last forever so i Better preserve it i was delusional about how skinny i thought i was actually i look stumpy & weird i have to prove myself. But now i am normal again kind of
#also i used to get beaten to finish my food nearly daily & it would take me forever to do that like literally hours with no exaggeration#just made me hate eating even more. now my technique is eating as fast as possible before i even realize how overwhelming#the sensory experience is & i can just be done with it VS the pain&dread of eating slowly -> disgust of Everything+hyperawareness#eating tightens my muscles like i hate it so fucking much catching the food putting it in my mouth CHEWING swallowing#what a damn chore#so i always liked cheese it was my “safe food” pretty much the only thing i liked#i even hated the foods autists usually like like fries & fried chicken meatballs ETC. HATED.#i was/am more of a soup & turning all my food into varieties of Slop kind of girl nothing hard for me please...#i experienced middle school during the like ♯Thick era of the world which was honestly a good thing like for The Populace#but i felt like killing myself because i felt like an unforgivable fugly genetic failure & people did not hesitate to let me know#anyway either way i would be unhappy caus if i did gain weight during puberty i would have a meltdown about all the Changes#so i feel content for the time being about only losing the fat in my face & getting age appropriate wrinkles really#trying to enjoy the privilege of thinness while i have it because it will not last forever 0_0 but that should not matter anyway...#the privilege of thinness: being way uglier than others & constantly looking like a gibbon dying of disease + no energy or strength ever#JK people are much MUCH nicer to thin people & they do things for me on account of looking physically incapable so um yay i guess#light at the end of the tunnel that is very significant in the grand scheme of things socially. ♯CountingMyBlessings#also i was raised on ♯HAES tumblr from 2014-2018 i truly believed in that & was so damn envious i was not curvy & beautiful LOL#so i never hated overweight people really i think for the most part the SJW tumblr values stuck with me#but now i know it depends on your base frame & genetics & there is no guarantee to what you choose to do (naturally) acceptance is peace#sorry for the gigantic Arse post i just needed to get that off my chest for a long time. not on here specifically just in general#oh & i am a ♯Grignoteuse but grignoter (grazing) is different from eating in my mind&body#& my insecurity was not a result of wanting to fit in really but kind of in the sense that i wanted people to stop berating me for my looks#like body wise only & also not understanding why every other girl looked like a girl blossoming into a woman#& i looked like i was transitioning to Malnourished (unsexed) Ape made worse by bein GNC.& like the need for control later on & erthang ETC
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Quirky representations of dementia should go die actually
#pardon me my friends i know I'm in a Good Mood today and will probably continue to be once I've taken some time to be mad/sad#but god the other night our ex-neighbour was obvs trying to comfort me#by talking bout a lady with dementia she knew who was onviously sick but in her mind she went out and did things and danced#and i was at the dinner table with my own sick lady#and therefore could not say honey. good for her i guess.#but my mum is almost aggressively trapped in her here and now#she doesn't know how to exist without us#her safe person is the husband her marriage was failing with#if we go out for five minute she panics and scratches at the door#she is sad and confused 95% of the time#content and confused the other 5%#and i can barely even visualise her as my mum anymore#because the mum who raised me would've killed herself if she knew this was coming#(like she used to tell me that. frequently tell her small child she'd rather kill herself than be unable to look after herself)#(which had a very normal impact on me I'm sure)#anyway. I'm a huge hypocrite and will still go and listen to marbles by the amazing devil and think it's the loveliest most romantic thing#and maybe some people do get lucky and find some joy in their minds when they have nothing else#but i have to just watch her brain fester and decay every day and there's just nothing quirky or beautiful about it#and all i can think is about how there's those mums who don't like raising small kids but enjoy parenthood when the kids are grown#and how that was supposed to be her#for a little while it was her#for a brief window of a couple of years she and i were each others best friend#and now she's this sad scared anxious thing shaped like my mum#who doesn't trust me as much as the man she was maybe a year or two out from leaving#and she's trapped in her brain and swiftly rotting#and it's just not cute and it's not funny#anyway#it is what it is#mr. bees speaks
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Trying to keep a lid on it but. Yeah. Literally don’t know what’s it like to NOT be platonically neglected IRL my whole damn life, only that I know this One Person doesn’t deserve to be at the epicenter of it anymore than I deserved to have been at the epicenter of theirs a year ago now.
…why am I like this. Why are we like this.
#tiger’s roar#…but like. good god. someone being Actually Genuinely KIND and insisting they DO like my company and want my friendship#(and is arguably mutually attracted and THOSE feelings of mine and what I’m picking up from them just won’t DISPELL already)#just. really stirs the muck. gets at that emotional constipation in my brain’s grease trap#then having TWICE now having Activities Suggested and THIS Time in FRONT of people then like…never following through?#all but thinking aloud with planning to witnesses things that sound less like hanging out and more like a date#and then just…not doing it?#when the Reality is Apparently Too Busy?#us fighting earlier this year over quality time essentially#when all I want is to have like. maybe an hour or two once a week or once a month#to enjoy someone else’s company. get a fucking REPRIEVE from my life#that’s…that’s it? nothing grand. just have the time found where it can be without causing strain?#I’m actually NOT a romantic even when I have romantic feelings? they just make me yearn for basic contact all the more#I’ll always be ‘too platonic’ within a romantic relationship so no it’s never going to be an ‘expectation’#MAYBE the one with unrealistic expectations is the guy who watches romance films and struggles with AllorNothing thinking perhaps?#and…yeah. trying to not feel resentful of their time spent this summer with existing friends when apparently not working 20+ hrs a week#in addition to their own research and god knows what else#…because it feels like there’s no space for me. and probably never will be. and I have never been ‘cool’ a day in my life#sure I own it as an adult. especially a 30s adult.#but having people recognize me as kind and supportive and easy to talk to 1:1 (my group aqauaintance/casual friendships SUCK)#but. basically never getting to keep any of them as friends? quickly ditched? treated like a used bandaid?#it…gets to me alright? like I only exist as Catch/Treat/Release but for people#which sure. the friend I’m angry at HAS been frustrated about me deserving better. looks at me like I’m christmas.#and I’m now fairly close friends with their beloved sibling. and despite things having THE Worst Start Ever their family seems to trust me#…but…it’s just…think I deserve better? think I’m worthy of your esteem and respect? think I’m kind and approachable?#want me to feel safe and relaxed enough to be myself? then just…do better.#ask when I’m available to kill a few hours then…follow through on that. that’s it.#not all the time. and my ‘expectation’ is to always be either neglected or used and feeling jaded about it#just…a repreive. for both of us. that’s it.
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when i tell you the amount of pure joy i feel when i see that a mutual has responded (whether it be an IRL Moot or a fellow "Bullying Morro On The Internet + Morro Himself" crew) or otherwise interacted with me just. does not do it credit
like i get so much fuckig dopamine when i see that a moot has responded via reblog and i can Interact With Them holy shit
will we ever know anything about each other past Tumblr names and pronouns? no.
but oh my fucking god if i do not cherish each and every one of the stupid and/or bizzarely deep conversations i have with these people.
#my little goblin brain who hoards anything even remotely close to a friendship goes fucking nuts#i will visibly grin i love it. so much.#i know nothing about these people but kill me now if i do not enjoy our interactions#i am so sorry it is 4 am and i am Emotion#please ignore me.#this is sleep deprived me having joy in internet interactions and i. do Not understand but i will let myself rant this once. as a treat#am i okay? probably?#im going to go die in a pit now i have just admitted something very deep. okay bye.#this is what happens when Having Friends causes me to go soft. what the fuck is happening.#dear god please just kill me now
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A lot of younger people have no idea what aging actually looks and feels like, and the reasons behind it. That ignorance is so dangerous. If you don’t want to “be old,” you aren’t talking about a number of years. I have patients in their late 80s who could still handily beat me in a race—one couple still runs marathons together, in their late 80s—and I lost someone who was in her early 60s to COPD last year. What you want is not youth, it is health.
If you want to still be able to enjoy doing things in your 60s and 70s and 80s and even 90s, what you want to do, right now, is quit smoking, get some activity on a regular basis (a couple of walks a week is WAY better for you than nothing; increasing from 1 hour a day of cardio to 1.5 will buy you very little), and eat some plants. That’s it. No magic to it. No secret weird tricks. Don’t poison yourself, move around so your body doesn’t forget how, and eat plants.
If you have trouble moving around now because of mobility limitations, bad news: you still need to move around, not because it’s immoral not to, but because that’s still the best advice we have. I highly recommend looking up the Sit and Be Fit series; it is freely available and has exercises that can be done in a chair, which are suitable for people with limited mobility or poor balance. POTS sufferers, I’m looking at you.
If you have trouble eating plants because of dietary issues (they cause gas, etc.) or just because they’re bitter (super taster with texture issues here!), bad news. You still want to find a way to get some plants into your body on a regular basis. I know. It sucks. The only way I can do it is restaurants—they can make salads taste like food. I can also tolerate some bagged salads. On bad weeks, the OCD with contamination focus gets so bad I just can’t. However, canned beans always seem “safe,” and they taste a bit like candy, so they’re a good fallback.
If you smoke and you have tried quitting a million times and you’re just not ready to, bad news. You still need to quit. Your body needs you to try and keep trying. Your brain needs it, too. Damaging small blood vessels racks up cumulative damage over time that your body can start trying to reverse as soon as you quit. I know it’s insanely, absurdly addictive. You still need to.
You cannot rules lawyer your way past your body’s basic needs. It needs food, sleep, activity, and the absence of poison. Those are both small things and big asks. You cannot sustain a routine based on punishment, so don’t punish your body. Find ways to include these things that are enjoyable and rewarding instead. Experiment. There is no reason not to experiment—you don’t have to know instantly what’s going to work for you and what won’t, you just need to be willing to try things and make changes when things aren’t working for you.
You will still age. Your body will stop making collagen and elastin. Tissues you can see and tissues you can’t see will both sag. Cushioning tissues under your skin will get thinner. You’ll bruise more easily. Skin will tear more easily. Accumulated sun damage will start to show more and more. Joints will begin to show arthritis. Tendons and ligaments will get weaker and get injured more easily, as will muscles. Bones will lose mass and get easier to break. You’ll get tired more easily.
But you know what makes the difference between being dead, or as good as, in your 60s vs your 90s? Activity, plants, and quitting smoking. And don’t do meth. Saw a 58-year-old guy this week who is going to have a heart attack if he doesn’t quit whatever stimulant he’s on. I pretended to believe it was just the cigarettes, and maybe it is, but meth and cocaine will kill you quicker. Stop poisoning yourself.
Baby steps; take it one step at a time; you don’t need to have everything figured out right now. But you do need to be working on figuring things out.
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sorry for diary posting so much on main but this is the last one today prommy
#it's in the tags anyway so#SO#i didn't go get my masters. or rlly try for a phd because i felt like i was bad at school right#(because i failed two classes in freshman year and i'd never ever done that before)#(and i failed those because. my meds made it very difficult for me to retain any information/make memories or whatever)#and it was just so WEIRD and i felt so dumb because never in my life had i been bad at school before like that#so that kind of killed my general confidence in academia#so even tho i got into a decent program i just decided to go work instead#(and yes a big part of it is that my current job is awesome and i didn't know if i'd get this kind of opportunity again)#and i kind of just realized#the last year and a half have LITERALLY JUST BEEN SCHOOL#OR WHAT A MASTERS PROGRAM WOULD BE LIKE#sort of. like an engineering masters.#except technically i have come up with new stuff too it's just operational and not research#but i spent the last year and a half learning something completely new that i knew nothing about at all.#and i've been teaching classes while i was learning and taking exams#and my exams went WELL#the last oral exam i had my evaluator told me it was the best one he'd seen#i went to talk to one of my senior instructors recently about the last big class i taught to become certified#to fucking important ass terrifyingly smart people#and he told me i was a model for all new people and i did super well#and then he told me not to tell anyone he said that because he didn't want people to think he was a softie#(he's a gigantic softie. i can't believe people are scared of him)#when he gets mad he expresses it and honestly he's valid for it sometimes people are dumb bitches and need to hear it. but apparently some#oh that's a tangent. anyways. if i can do this i can probably go back to academia right...#and jesus fuck girl it doesn't have to be mit. it can be a normal school#i can Lower my Standards because they aren't about to lower theirs. haha but what if.... anyways im gonna stick with the same major as my#bachelors cause i did actually enjoy it. and aerospace is boring in comparison. and i wanna figure out how to keep people alive both in#space AND under the ocean. at pressures we were never meant to survive at! Now THAT' would be fun.
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Idk how to even talk to anyone anymore when it’s just the same thing in a loop over and over
#i cant tell anyone anything or ask for help cuz lets see what happens#i get hit with a generic ‘just keep going keep looking for jobs keep going’#or i get *too honest* and then ive completely drained someone of life cuz thats really all im capable of doing anymore it seems#like it seems all i do is go on some sorta monologue about how miserable i am which is pointless cuz its not like anyone will do anything#and its just stressing people out too cuz its like lol if youre helpless and have to listen to me bitch over and over to you#its either annoying as hell to hear or its guilt inducing and we cant have that now can we#and im quite frankly tired of all these options like lol the very few people i actually like and enjoy are just fuckin#nothing anymore cuz im ruining their lives and being an awful friend#its really great how youre supposed to confide in people when youre feeling like shit but then doing so ruins everything#lol what am i supposed to do now you know? i cant talk about anything except myself and my misery#and its a never ending cycle cuz im still here in this unsafe environment and im just so fucking sick#of people telling me to just keep going and keep looking for jobs cuz god bitch thats what ive been doing#and i have nothing yet and lets say i get a job tomorrow its probably gonna pay like shit#and im too incompetent to work 40 hours so if i wanna like ease myself slightly itd take even longer to have money#and its just gonna take forever to save money enough to leave and god I need out like right now#because im just gonna go insane and im gonna kill myself if im here any longer every second im here breathing#feels like im being strangled im becoming a monster too and the worst friend of all time and terribly selfish and whiny#lol i guess ive just got this dumb fantasy where ill be saved by someone who treats me nice and they take me away#and i dont have to wait or lift a damn finger i can just. be safe. and get a hug and not fear my life#im so lazy and worthless and horrible I really do just deserve to die#but i guess i cant say that. cuz then itll make everyone too drained lol
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A Confession from the Heart of Suffering: An Unbearable Reality
I hope you read my confession, and thank you. This is the reality of all the people of Gaza.
Whenever I think of the life we used to have before the genocide, I have to struggle to hold my tears so I don't cause my children more pain than what they already feel. Our life, then, was neither easy nor perfect but it was full of warmth and the simple joy of being together under one roof .
We have never felt completely free because we have always been under a siege that has only gotten worse during this war but at least we felt somewhat safe and we had quite a decent life with the means that we were allowed.What kept us going was our belief that the future might be brighter one day.
Unfortunately, there seems to be no better tomorrow for us anymore. Nothing remains of our previous lives but rubble and memories, and the future is so bleak and full of uncertainties.It's not just the walls of our house that were turned into ruins, it's our hopes and dreams that were reduced to ashes. Now, we only dream of things that might seem so trivial to other people around the world like being able to sleep in and wake up in a comfortable bed or having a meal without standing for it in line for hours.
We dream of having enough clean drinking water so we don't have to worry about dying of thirst. We dream of the days we had a home with a regular kitchen and stove, the days we could celebrate special occasions with family in peace. Above all, we dream of not losing the people we love in a split second and of living safely and with dignity.
Instead, we have been wrongfully sentenced to a life of fear, displacement, and humiliation beyond belief. It is a living nightmare here now. Everything needed to ensure the bare minimum of decency and normalcy is denied to us. As you well know, there is no safe place in Gaza anymore and We are deprived of simple rights like having having a roof over our heads or enjoying some peace of mind for even one single day. The airstrikes and the buzzing of drones almost never stop. We live with a very real sense of impending doom day and night.
The water and food scarcity are only getting worse with time. Even regular chores like cooking or doing the laundry have become true challenges. I cannot propely bathe my children because the little water we get is polluted and their sensitive baby skin keeps getting irritated.
Before the war, my nine- year-old daughter was so picky about which outfits to wear; it made me laugh that she acted that way at her age but now we don't even have enough warm clothes for the winter. It kills me each time she says she doesn't need fancy clothes anymore and only wants to feel warm and go back to school. What makes it worse is our tent has recently been flooded by rain.
The whole camp turned into a swamp overnight. The children woke up soaked, shivering and terrified. It was almost impossible to calm them down as the rain kept pouring. We are doing our best but even if we succeed in finding the treatment, it's going to cost almost a fortune. This is why we need your support even more now.
All we do now is fight for survival every day. I never imagined,even in my darkest nightmares, that I would be searching high and low to put food in my children's mouths and keep them warm or that I would be begging the world to literally save their lives but I have no other choice now.
Despite the unbearable suffering we're daily going through, I still believe in humanity. please keep us in your prayers and help us anyway you can. Donate if you're able to,reblog and share our story as widely as you can.We are grateful to each and every one of you
Vetted by @bilal-salah0
7,464$ / 10,000$
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close to home | s.r
pairing: spencer reid x reader
a/n: this has been rotting in my brain for days now i hope you enjoy the angsty comfort this brought me <3 my requests are open (guidelines in pinned!) or if you wanna just chat hop in my ask box :) gonna hopefully work on a smut fic in the next week so keep an eye out hehe
cw: angst, hurt/comfort, protective!spencer, afab!reader who uses she/her pronouns, non bau!reader, cm type violence, reader sustains injuries from unsub, vague description of injuries, maeve mentions, derek being a good friend, spencer being so in love with reader, this takes place probably a year after maeve, inconsistencies with tls and characters but who cares
wc: 2.4k
summary: the bau is working a local case when their unsub strikes again mid investigation, hotch tells reid and morgan to go check it out but spencer finds the address of the crime to be a little too familar
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whenever the bau has a case based in the dc area, it’s always a little easier on the team. familiar stomping grounds, ease of resources, no major time difference, and everyone can sleep in their own beds. the hard part about home cases is knowing there’s a serial killer in the place they know deeply, with people they cared about deeply.
spencer and callahan are in the middle of the bullpen staring at the giant white board with all the evidence they have so far. the unsub has been killing women in their mid 20s in the local dc area, with the mo currently unknown. there had already been two victims, both killed in their homes. spencer was currently trying to analyze all the information the case had alongside with what garcia was able to provide, and he was still hitting a dead end. morgan had joined them at some point too, trying to offer what he could remember from the crime scenes but to no avail. he felt his eyes straining and dropping so he decided to get more coffee, but was stopped by hotch and garcia entering the bullpen.
“police just got a 911 call about a break in, but there’s a witness this time. she was home when it happened and it looks like he didn’t expect that and tried to knock her out before escaping. i think it sounds like our unsub. morgan and reid i need you to go check out the scene and interview the witness, see what she remembers.” hotch explained.
morgan and reid nodded as garcia spoke up, “i just sent the address to your phones, it’s a house on hillcrest so it's not that far from here.”
spencer froze. he had to have heard wrong, she did not say hillcrest, “did you say hillcrest?”
“yeah hillcrest drive. it’s like, a 15 minute drive it’s not that bad.”
he felt his heart drop to his feet, a sinking feeling building in his gut. that was the street you lived on. he tried to ground himself with logic, the probability of it being your house is only 10%, but he was dreading asking the fated question.
“garcia, what’s the house number?”
“reid, i already sent it to your pho-“
“garcia, what is the house number,” he spoke again.
please don’t say 1159 please don’t say 1159 please don’t say-
“1159.”
fuck. the color drained from his face, and the nausea was building to a head quickly. spencer hurriedly tried to think through the last time he spoke to you, last night? this morning? he doesn’t check on you as much as he does when he’s not on a case, but oh my god why can’t he remember the last time he saw you.
“reid,” hotch bellows, finally breaking spencer out of his trance, “what is it? what do you know?”
he shook his head, “nothing. morgan, let’s go.” he grabbed his jacket and booked it out the door.
morgan, garcia, and hotch all looked at each other in concern, before morgan spoke up, “i’ll see what’s up.” the latter two nodded softly, though the worry didn’t let up in their eyes.
morgan walked up to the car to find spencer repeatedly trying to call someone on the phone, clearly unable to get through and getting really frustrated.
spencer was alerted by morgan’s presence hearing the car unlock but he didn’t even look at him, just immediately got in the car and strapped his seat belt. morgan joined him in the drivers seat giving him a wary look before turning the car on and pulling out of the bureau.
“okay reid, spill it. it’s obvious you know who lives here.” morgan speaks up.
“just drive, please.”
“because if you know something, something that could help the case, it would be helpful if we knew.”
“morgan, just drive.” he borderline yells.
he raises his eyebrows at his raised voice, “listen kid, i’m just trying to help you. i can see you’re upset but we’re on the same side, you know that.”
spencer takes a shaky breath, feeling another shade of guilt at yelling at one of his friends, for something he didn’t even know about. he’d kept you a secret for many reasons— your relationship with him was still new, and he just wanted to keep you to himself for a bit. after what happened with maeve, he felt especially more responsible at keeping you safe and making sure you didn’t get tangled up in his line of work.
some job he did of that.
the one thing he regrets about how he handled the maeve situation, was not asking for help until it was almost too late. for not doing anything about her stalker when he was part of one of the most famous fbi teams built to find people like that. he’d always live with that guilt, but he vowed not to do that with you.
he loved you so much. you were so kind, and smart, and beautiful. a breath of fresh air after feeling lost in a dark tunnel for so long. you were so understanding when he explained what he did for a living, and what had happened to him and people he cared about as a result. he still remembers what you said to him when he told you that you could have an out, if you wanted.
“any risk is worth taking if getting to be with you is the consolation prize.”
tears welled up in eyes thinking about the memory. if you were willing to take any risk, then he should be able to as well.
he cleared his throat, and morgan’s ears perked up, “my uh, my girlfriend lives there. where the unsub, at- attacked.” he voiced softly.
morgan looked at him for a beat while driving, spencer missing the way his face dropped. he tightened his hands on the wheels, and didn’t hesitate to turn the lights and siren on and shift gears to speed up.
__
the car pulled onto your street and the first thing spencer sees is the flashing light of the ambulances. morgan doesn’t even put the car in park before spencer’s bolting out hoping he can find you quickly.
he’s asking all the paramedics he’s passing if they’ve seen you or know if you’re being treated, were you transferred to a hospital and he didn’t know, the tunnel vision slowly overtaking him until he hears a voice breaking through like sunlight call out his name.
he whips his head in the direction he heard it come from, and he’s never been more grateful to be met with the beautiful sight of you. you watch his eyes widen and let out a sigh before running over to where you were sitting in the back of the ambulance. he’s definitely not thinking when he goes in to hug you, not even knowing the extent of your injuries. he’s overtaken by the desperate need to hold you in his arms so he knows you’re safe and okay.
“hi,” you choke out muffled, “funny seeing you here.”
he pulls back to inspect your face, taking note of a small cut above your left eyebrow and the beginning splotches of a bruise forming on your lower jaw. his heart aches so much looking at you, knowing what happened to you and who did this to you.
“hi, honey,” he lets out tearfully, “are you okay? i mean, of course you’re not. but what did the paramedics say? did they give you anything? are you sure they checked all your injuries? you know what, let me go call the guy over. i’ll be literally two seconds.” his panicked ramble fading off as he rounds the truck you’re sat in to find the emt.
upon his extensive questioning of the man who treated you, he found out that you had sustained a minor concussion from when the unsub swung at you with an umbrella, superficial cuts caused by a broken vase you threw to defend yourself, and a dislocated shoulder from getting shoved into the wall.
you were okay, but at what cost.
the emt leaves you two and spencer sits himself next to you on the rig. he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you as tight as he can and the other hand cradles your head into the crook of his neck, holding you so tight he’s hoping he can squeeze the bad memories out of you. it’s at this moment of feeling safe and sound in his arms when the adrenaline of your attack wears off.
spencer hears a small whimper and feels a few hot tears trickle down his neck, your breathing gets faster as you’re attempting to beat your body’s fear response. the slow build up of sobs starting to rack your chest, and he immediately holds you tighter.
“it’s over, baby, they won’t hurt you anymore. i promise.”
you sniffle, “i know, i just can’t believe this happened. to me, to us. it’s not fair to you.” trailing off the last two words.
“to me? wh- what do you mean?”
you take a deep breath, “i don’t mean to bring it up again, i just know how eerily similar this is to a past experience you’ve had. and i hoped that i wouldn’t be in a position to make you feel that way again. i don’t know why this happened, i'm sorry.”
he looked down at you incredulously. genuinely unable to believe that you were sitting next to him on an ambulance, beaten up with bruises and scars after a home invasion attack, worried about how he would feel when he got to you. it was enough to finally let the swell of tears saved up in his eyes fall.
“oh sweetheart,” he chokes out, realizing you’ve been trying to be brave for him this whole time, “what happened is not your fault, do you understand me? my job is to always worry about you and your safety. when garcia said the address i…i couldn’t even process it, i don’t even know how i got to the car,” he shook his head, “but i am the last person you need to push your emotions down for. i will always take them in stride and love you even more for that, okay?”
“okay,” you take a shaky breath, “i love you.”
“i love you.” he leans down to press a kiss to the crown of your head.
both of your heads look up at an approaching figure, who you quickly recognize to be ssa derek morgan. you knew spencer hadn’t told the team about you yet, so you tried to sit up independently as fast as you could before he came over and suspected something.
spencer’s grip didn’t let up when he bent down and whispered, “it’s okay, he knows.” you look up at him with wide eyes when derek finally reaches you.
“reid, i already talked to the detectives and we’re good to go when you’re ready,” he turns his body to you and gives you a comforting smile, “hi sweetheart, i’m derek morgan, it’s nice to meet you.”
spencer rolls his eyes at the nickname while you giggle softly, “hi derek, i’ve heard so much about you. it's nice to finally meet you too.”
“i wish it were under better circumstances,” he sighs, “listen, i know it’s all still really fresh for you, but it might help the case if you’re able to come in for a cognitive interview, or even talk to a sketch artist.”
spencer doesn’t miss a beat before protesting, “absolutely not. we can do it later, it’s fine.”
“reid-“
you look up at him placing your hand on his chest, “spence, it’s okay. i want to help, please.”
he rests his hand on top yours and gives it a light squeeze, “okay, but i’m not leaving you alone for a second.”
“i didn’t think you would.” you smile.
“alright lovebirds, you can have your private time later, we should go now.” derek teases.
spencer groans, “see this is why i didn’t say anything.”
“you think i’m bad? wait till penelope meets her.”
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the three of you pile into the car before starting the drive to spencer’s apartment so he could get you a change of clothes and other things you might need. you end up falling asleep in the back seat, the final stage of your shock sinking in like a rock. spencer checks on you from the rear view mirror and sees you passed out, and smiles.
“she’s cute,” derek starts, “can i ask how long?”
“nine months.” he replies, fishing for something out of his pocket.
“pretty boy hid a girl from all of us for nine months? maybe we’re not as good profilers as we thought.”
“imagine that,” he laughs, and gestures to the item in his hand, “look.”
spencer’s holding out a well loved photo booth strip with three pictures, of you and spencer from the time you went to a local county fair. you’re sitting in his lap, mostly due to the cramped space and the expansive limbs. the first picture is the two of you holding up finger guns attempting to be as back to back as you can. the second picture, you intended it to be a normal one where you both smile at the camera, but spencer couldn’t take his eyes off you and the picture captured the love struck gaze he had on you. the last one you were about to tell him the idea for it, when he grabbed your face and pulled you closer to kiss you, neither of you knowing when the final picture snapped.
the edges were worn out and frayed, clearly broken down by the oils on his fingers from pulling it out frequently. it was his most treasured item, a constant reminder of what was always waiting for him when he got back from grueling cases, and how lucky he was to have you in his life.
“you look really happy, kid.” derek says, thinking about the many times he’s seen his friend at rock bottom, the things that have been so brutally taken from him, and the suffering he’s had at the hands of his job. his heart warms for his friend, who seemed to finally catch a break.
“i am.”
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fanfic#dr spencer reid#spencer reid angst#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#bau team#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x fanfiction
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