#i know it's not gonna look as perfect as it does onstage if he does it himself but it'd be better than this☠️

[fkinavocado]

controversial opinion but i really need him to cut it out with that hairclip like it's cute but shsjsjsjsn i miss the curlssssssss 😩

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

Tom and Bill as girl dad hcs but in 2023 maybe? It’d be funny if he dressed his kid like him for laughs, or bring the kiddo onstage

(hello! Yes I can but I have already done Tom and you can find it in my master list. Anyways, enjoy!)

Bill Kaulitz as a Girl Dad

He is such a sucker for his little girl I am not kidding

Man would let her get away with a bank robbery and still would coddle her

When she was born he was so happy

He didn't care if he had a son or a daughter

He would love both either way and just having a little human made him nervous and happy

Nervous about how they would grow up and basically any nerves any first time parent would have

But you and him made it and your daughter is perfect

He obviously takes her everywhere he goes

She is such a daddy's girl its not funny

He gets her shit without her even asking

Andif she did he would just get it for her no questions asked

Bill will give her anything she could possibly want just to keep her happy

But he would still teach her to appreciate things and that working hard for what you have is good

He does spoil her but shows her to be humble and appreciative

She loved watching you guys on stage when you guys were younger

She goes online all the time just to watch you guys when you were her age on stage

He dresses her just like him

He is in charge of her outfits because he's Bill

Your daughter is gonna look so good either way with those genes and outfits

Bill and you got hypocritism when she was growing up due to the outfits and taking her on tour and everything

But you guys didn't care and would not change it

Bill takes her to shops and just lets her get anything she could ever possibly want

She is her dad's twin sm along with Tom

It's scary how alike they are

Same hair, same face, same attitude, personality, same nails and same clothes

Bill gifts her so much of his old jewelry for her to wear and she cherishes that shit

He takes your daughter on stage and she's wearing his old jacket from when he was younger

Y'know the black one with yellow stripes one we see in the TikTok's of like in 2004? Idk but that one

She just messes with the entire band with you guys on stage

Your daughter has the time of her life with you guys

She wouldn't replace any of you guys for the world

The fans love your daughter and she is often signing things even when she is like two

Your daughter loves the attention of being on stage with you guys

She likes experiencing what you guys do and did for years since you guys were kids

She is with you guys so much and she loves you guys and would always want to spend time with you when she can

So many pictures and videos of her clung to her dad on his back or even being held by her dad on the bus and sleeping

If you guys had her young there was a lot of backlash from paparazzi because of your age but you guys held up

She loves doing his nails and hair ever since she was born

Would give her anything in the world

He taught her what standards are and to never lower them

Tom, Gustav and Georg are like her partners in crime against you and Bill

Those three would legit be so annoying with how much they care for your daughter

Intimidates her future boyfriends

Bill would simply have an attack once he realized his kid was actually growing up

Your daughter is taken in interviews with Bill so much that she is practically part of the band even when growing up

He taught her how to play instruments and how to sing also

He has some songs that were inspired by her and you when she was born all the way to every milestone in her life

No matter how old your daughter grew up, she could be twenty something but no matter what she still has a key to the house

And she always wanders in during the early morning, finds you and Bill asleep as she snakes her way in-between her two parents

She may have had a rough day or week, she may be sad, she may be tired, so she always comes to find you teo

Where she knows it's always safe

Bill loves his daughter and you sm

If someone told him that him playing on stage with you and your friends would turn into this?

He doesn't think he would believe it

But he's happy it happened and wouldn't change it for anything

[pancake-breakfast]

Tired and headachey, but not yet ready for sleep, so I will read more Trigun.

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 4, Chapters 1-2 below.

TriMax Volume 4 Covers

Knives looks so nice on the cover, you could almost forget he's a villain.

My Japanese isn't good enough to translate Nightow's chicken scratch without putting in more effort than I'm going to tonight, so I'm pretending that Vash is crying because he's hungry and really doesn't want to give up this, the perfect bowl of ramen, to someone else.

Ey! It's a tiny Zazie! Also, that looks like Ninelives again on the back cover, and if he shows up in this volume in any useful capacity, I might have to break something.

Also also, saxophone! I wonder how Midvalley's spine is doing.... (Better than Legato's, probably. That boi's gonna have back pain for life.)

I'd be screaming if there was a cockroach on my neck, too, Wolfwood.

"Killer Horn Blues." I WONDER who we'll see in THAT chapter!

Chapter 1: Countdown

Jessica, are you not like 15?

Does... does Vash know he's your sweetie? Has he agreed to this??

LOL, Vash brought the boys. He knows better than to be alone with her. Brad looks happy, at least.

Wait, does "the boys" here include Twolives?! How in the world!??!

Pretty sure the LAST thing Brad wants to do is insult Jessica's food.

LOL, Wolfwood looks like his brain farted out at the idea of a satellite with intergalactic communication abilities. Vash is probably right to try and clear up the situation, despite Wolfy's protests.

Oh, hey! I recognize that globe!

Interesting that it took them like 50 years just to get the comm signal working enough to send messages to earth.

Something something casual clothes Wolfwood!

Meryl wearing fringe!!!

This is... actually a really nice prayer.

Oop, machine go *bing!*

Uhhhhh... I hope the Earth ship is gonna bring supplies if it's heading this way, given how little the people here have.

Casual boys! Casual boys!!!

LOL, the girls are already drunk somehow....

Luida, thanking those who put in so much work but didn't quite make it to the day....

Heh, Vash's drinking tie has made an appearance.

Whoa. Angry Knives face jumpscare. Why's he gotta be like that??

Welp, that sobered Vash up real quick.

He was trying to make an angel arm in the last volume! Knives, sir! Put. That. Away!

Something sharp seems to be moving very fast....

Ohhh, Knives picked up the signal and isn't pleased.

He... he might make good on his threat. He has the ability. Also, glad he doesn't have his stupid helmet and that chest spike anymore. Also also, he needs to finish belting those belts on his one leg.

Brad might still be a bit iffy about Vash, but at this point, Vash trusts Brad. Their relationship has come a long way.

I honestly don't blame Vash for wanting to sneak out before Jessica notices. If I had someone that clingy forcing me into an uncomfortable romance situation, I'd skedaddle, too.

LOL, Wolfwood freezing outside. Insisting he comes along. Not giving Vash a say in the matter, really.

Jessica. Honey. Move on.

Chapter 2: Killer Horn Blues

So, we've gone through about half the Gung-Ho Guns at this point.

Looks Like Midvalley's band really killed it onstage, huh?

Heh, for all the weirdness in the Gung-Ho Guns, it seems like Midvalley and Hoppered get along pretty decently.

Ohhh, is this flashing between present time and when Midvalley was recruited?

Knives looks eerily similar to Vash here. His expression is almost kind. He looks like Vash when Vash is tired.

Dude. Midvalley. This is not a good way to live one's life.

Midvalley might have saved his bandmates' lives by telling them to stand down. He might be belittling himself for not noticing a bad deal when it comes his way, but in this flashback, it seems like he actually did recognize it, and perhaps just didn't know what to do about it.

Knives, knife collector. I like it.

I like how in the spread of the Gung-Ho guns here, Wolfwood's cross is unmistakable. Just in case for some reason the reader forgot, they're taking the time to remind you that this is where Wolfwood was some volumes back. Though, notably, Wolfwood himself doesn't appear to be in this shot? Or at least not recognizably. There's a lot going on here so maybe I'm just not seeing it....

Midvalley understands that someone interested in genociding the human race isn't going to stop once his elite chosen have wiped out the last of the others. He knows his life is forfeit as soon as the job is done. And he has no idea how to get out of this deal.

Eyyy, it's sopping wet cat Legato!

There we go. The reveal of what exactly Wolfwood's role is in all this, as assigned by Knives himself. I'm sure this will bode well in the long-term for Vash and Wolfwood's relationship and nothing bad will happen to either of them because of it.

Hahahaha, Legato didn't know. He feels left out. Unlike Midvalley, he somehow thinks he might be of value to Knives. He wants to be of value to Knives so bad. And it just makes him more of a monster.

Ah, Midvalley didn't manage to save is band after all....

Some part of him really, really wants to take out Knives. Even if the attempt will kill him.

For some reason, I suspect Knives knows Midvalley's feelings on this. I think Vash would know if their positions were switched. And Knives can figure it out, too.

I'm gonna pretend Wolfwood is jealous of Rem, this unknown woman who Vash is obsessed with, because he's misreading the situation and overly attached to Vash.

"A few million miles without water." LOL

Wolfwood's brain is too far in work mode right now. Stop it, Wolfy.

I hope that car is the girls.

YUUUUUUUUSSSSSS

Meryl flaunting her water as they drive by is priceless.

Heh. No more solo missions for the Gung-Ho Guns against Vash. They're losing too many of their numbers that way.

Archive

Trigun Volume 1: Covers + 1-3, 3 Detailed Thoughts, 4, 4 DT, 5-6, 5-6 + DT, 6 DT, 7-8, 9-10 || Volume 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 1 Supplemental Research, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

TriMax Volume 1: Covers + 1-2, 2 DT, 3-4, 3 DT, 5-6 || Volume 2: Covers + 1, 2-4, 5, 6-7 || Volume 3: Covers + 1-3, 4-5, 6-7

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

Just finished my rewatch and it’s swinging even more in favour of being my favourite show and it definitely might be the *best* show

The opening sets the tone so well but also, pleasantly surprised how long it took someone to die once we get into the show for real!

I do wish we could have got more of bryce but her onstage debut with them is so fun and she’s SO good

The title projection is COOL AF. I can’t remember if tcb said how they knew/found Joey but the lighting design of this show 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

Lauren’s soprano I cryyyyy

This is suchhh a good opening number 

Will NEVER STOP YELLING ABOUT LAUREN’S CHOREO I’LL ENGRAVE THE DAMN AWARD MYSELF

How anyone can say this show isn’t as horny as mamd with lauren’s scream/moan wait maybe that’s just me

Pete/steph I’m sorry I doubted you

The writing of this show is just so fun

Will is SO great as max

Obviously Grace is still unhinged but I do think she was a more grounded character in this show so while I definitely think it was a good move to make pete and steph more the main characters than they were originally I did find her fun to watch

Love this trio of nerds <3

“You don’t even need to try with me Pete”jokes 👏🏻 that are objectively 👏🏻 funnier 👏🏻

How did I not notice how GRABBY Lauren was in this scene the first time

Joey as pete I love himmmm

AND HE SOUNDS SO GOOD

Angela does these freudian slips VERY well 

Dirty girl alone really is hornier than anything in mamd

The spins are so dumb but so fun

This is such a fun group too

Ruth baby I’ll talk to you <3

“I don’t want to though” Need I say it again jokes 👏🏻 that are 👏🏻 objectively 👏🏻 funnier 👏🏻

The escalation from bully the bully to bury the bully is so funny

I don’t know what it is about the nighthawks song but I LOVE it

“I love being alive” is so devastatingly good, you KNOW. You know </3

The SFX makeup is also so cool

Still feel robbed of their finest work the smoke club kids but it’s FINE

Joey’s “oh no” is too good

Lauren’s face when steph and ruth almost hold hands is also too good 

Dan and donna <3 who are definitely married with dogs and kids

Hatchet town is so good

Okay didn’t notice Arm the first time

Barbecue monologues has no right being that funny

Lauren KILLS this scene. And just for once is such a great song and she also blends her character and normal voice really well. Took three hatchetfield shows but Jeff nailed it 🙏🏻

PAUL AND EMMA PAUL AND EMMA I know I already said it but it’s *perfect*, the flirting is perfect, and the 5 year joke *chef’s kiss*

Not even really a joke but spitting in his hot chocolate… objectively funnier

Twist of all twists (although I really should have foreseen it tbh) I am OBSESSED with if I loved you

Bisexual ruth special to us all <3

So glad we got a goof best part of live shows 

The lighting with max in the car is also very cool!!

The LiB scene!!!!!!! It’s TOO good. I can’t even articulate how good

If there’s one thing about Joey Richter it’s he’s gonna make me cry with an emotional sacrifice scene 😭😭😭

Did get scared for one sec here in the reprise though even though someone already told me I was good 

HEARTBREAKING AND HE DOESN’T EVEN DIE </3

Grace saving the day is proof you can have a predictable “twist” that’s still good!

This song is so fun!!! It’s such a great closing number because we all know this is where the show ends!!!

And lauren’s DRESS!!! It was worth being totally surprised by that. And lauren’s choreo will never shut up about it bestie girl its SO GOOD

And I hateeee to say it but pete and steph probably should have kissed. Suspicious 

Also lauren in curtain call loml she looks so happy

It would have been a fucking blast to see this show in person especially for the first time, I should have done it tbh. I was so scared for WHAT. But they simply have to do it again sorry 2 weekends was not enough 

[the-mad-closet]

Nsft prompts

Another! Your boys this time~

Ryan/Carter 16 + 20 + 66 <3

You're a goddess, my friend. Thank you!

Before we continue, please be aware, the third section is written within the same universe as my 'angels like you' au. Please adjust accordingly.

16 - Voyeurism/Exhibitionist, 20 - Blindfold, 66 - Dubcon

~

16 - Voyeurism/Exhibitionist

"I don't know about this," Carter whispers as Ryan tightens his ties and checks the knots. The demon-raised man lifts his eyes to Carter, staring out beyond the closed curtains.

Ryan smiles, rolls his eyes fondly. "All you gotta do is say the word, baby," he reminds Carter gently.

The word doesn't come, though. "It's not that," he says. "I've just... never been put on display before."

Ryan laughs softly. "It's not so difficult," he promises. "All you gotta do is keep your eyes on me." Then he picks up the other item he brought today. "Or," he replies, "I can blindfold you, and all you have to do is sit back and feel."

Cart er thinks about this, then shakes his head. "No," he says softly. "No, thank you, Sir." Pale blue eyes settle on Ryan's, pinching nervously at the corners, but no less excited and no less ready.

Ryan smiles. Then, without fanfare, he reaches down and pulls Carter into a quick, firm kiss. "Good boy," he praises, just to see Carter flush. "I think that deserves a reward." He thinks about it as he slips the blindfold back in their play-bag and stows it away to the side of the stage. When Ryan comes back he leans down and whispers, "You want my cock, baby? As a treat?"

Carter whines a little when he replies, "Yes, Sir."

Ryan hums a little as he moves back with a smile. "Good boy," he replies. "You'll get your reward when we're done, okay?"

Carter nods eagerly. A bell goes off somewhere onstage, and Ryan breathes in and out deeply, settling into his role. He presses a last kiss to Carter's forehead, then murmurs, "Showtime."

The curtain rises, showing the pair off to a room of a couple dozen people. Ryan shakes off the jitters and greets the room with a smile.

~

20 - Blindfold

It's not often Carter wakes up blindfolded, but every time he does, he knows exactly what's going to happen. "Sir?" he asks softly, testing if he's allowed to speak.

Soft pressure at Carter's side. "Shh," Ryan whispers. Kisses trail up Carter's side, feather-light and with none of the usual bites. "It's okay," Ryan continues. "I asked Dad to take us off the schedule today."

Carter moans softly as the kisses make their way up to his chest, pausing briefly to suck on his nipples, then continue up to his neck. Ryan's voice appears next to his ear. "You just looked so perfect laying there, all soft and sweet," Ryan presses a kiss to the shell of Carter's ear, drawing a shudder from the Red. "I didn't want to share you today. So, barring anything Ranger-related," Ryan sighs, pulling Carter flush against his body. "You're all mine today."

Carter whines. "Yes, Sir," he replies happily.

Ryan's grin is obvious, even without Carter's vision to confirm. "Good boy," he praises, and Carter's face grows warm. "I don't want you to work at all today, okay?" Ryan says. "You're just gonna lay back and feel."

Carter can't say it's a hard job, but as warmth suddenly surrounds his cock, bringing a yelp from the Red's throat, Carter also can't say it'll be easy.

~

66 - Dubcon

"Sir?" Carter asks, looking up at Ryan with wide blue eyes. "Are you... sure?"

Ryan hums. "Yeah," he replies. "I'm sure, pretty boy. Come on, I want you to ride me."

Carter, unsure, crawls up the bed. He hesitates a moment, sitting pretty on his knees. The red collar around his throat stands out against his pale skin as he swallows nervously. It's clear to Ryan that Carter is nervous. So, in order to assist the nerves, Ryan deepens his voice and says, "Over my lap, pretty boy."

Carter whimpers a little, then complies. "Yes, Sir," he whispers, not looking Ryan in the eyes. He's hot and bothered now, no need to be nervous. Besides, it's just the way Ryan wants him. The perfect little demon pet to fulfill every one of Ryan's needs.

Ryan grins. "Good boy," he says. "My good boy."

Carter glances up, offering a little smile. "Thank you, Sir."

~

@estel-eruantien

[criceofpain]

cat-eyed | park jongseong

summary: you loved the makeup looks jay were getting from his stylist so you had to do one to him yourself... before he takes things to another level.

pairing: idol!jay x fem!reader

genre: smut, fluff

word count: 2417

warnings: mentions of natural phenomena (storms/typhoon), cunnilingus, vaginal penetration, usage of pet names, minimal impact play

Park Jongseong had the most beautiful eyes in the whole planet.

At least that’s what you think. You had a strange affinity for those beautiful brown orbs ever since you’ve seen them up close. The way his eyelids perfectly gave them their shape, and the way his eyelashes fluttered whenever he stared at you or something else had made them a wonderful pair you swore you wouldn’t get enough of. It was your most favorite part of his whole face.

As much as you love seeing them bare and puffy whenever you wake up beside him, you loved–no, adored them with accessories and adornments of any kind. His signature sunglasses and brushed-back hair look was your greatest waterloo, not to mention his smokey eye makeup everytime he goes onstage for music show performances. They made him look like he was a different person–someone so alluring yet dangerous as if he was Medusa turning Engenes into stone statues if he stares at them long enough.

With these thoughts came the idea of his stylist noonas doing all of these eye looks for him–them dabbing their fingers all over his face, and you couldn’t help but sometimes wish you were a stylist yourself. It’d give you more time to spend with your busy man, maybe go on quick dates without having to think about privacy. Unfortunately, everyone’s eyes are on him and his members, so you’d often spend time alone. 

Now, you and Jay are both huddled up in your bunk bed after his music video shooting, the very spot being his retreat whenever he finds himself at the peak of exhaustion. Your hands are on his hair while his arms are snugly wrapped around your waist–just the perfect sleeping position on a rainy afternoon.

“Jjong.” you mutter, looking over your shoulder to see if he was asleep or not.

“Yeah?” he immediately responds, letting you know that he was awake for a while. “Need help with something, Y/N?”

“Let me put makeup on you.”

He blinks at you, taken aback by the sudden statement. “Suddenly?”

You toss slowly to face him, giving him a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. “I've been wanting to work on my eyeshadow skills, love. You've got such beautiful eyes to put some colors on.”

Flustered, he bites the inside of his cheek, trying to hold back a chuckle or a smile. He never knew you loved his eyes so much. “I appreciate that, sweetheart, but what's all this for?”

You shake your head. “This rainy weather is seriously weighing me down and I could use some activity at home. Would you like to be my model, Mr. Park?”

“Damn, princess.” he mumbles, cupping your cheeks with his hands and squishing them. “As long as it doesn't require aegyo, I'm in.”

You squeal, rushing to grab your makeup bag after pulling away from your boyfriend’s hold. He stares at you with amusement as you lay out your brushes, slightly intimidated at the same time because of how much you were bringing out in the tiny bag.

“Okay, we've got our blending brushes over here… some highlight brushes… more brushes for the smokey eye because I'm a hoe for that look—”

“Ooh, Y/N’s gonna go all stylist noona on me now, huh?” he teases, scooting closer as you clip his hair away from his face. “I'd love to see you try.”

“Come on, Jay! You know I love the smokey eyes on you.” you protest as you gently dab some primer on his lids. “Makes you look like a sexy black cat.”

“I'm allergic to kittens.” he replies, and you can imagine him rolling his eyes through his eyelids.

“What does that have to do with anything?” you reply whimsically, proceeding to put some brown eyeshadow on him. “You're so fucking handsome right now.”

“Oh, yeah? Am I?”

“Mm-hmm.” you nod. “Now will you open your eyes for me, love? Wanna see how it looks so far.”

He obliges, slowly lifting his eyelids only to be welcomed by a sight that causes his jaw to slightly drop.

You were looking doe-eyed at him, lips slightly parted, cleavage peeking out of your neckline, and ass jutted out. He instinctively gulps, trying to hold back a groan and stop a potential hard-on to form a tent in his sweatpants. On the other hand, your clueless self ponders whether or not you've achieved the eye look you were going for. 

“Nah, not quite yet.” you mutter, clicking your tongue after. “Close them back, please?”

He sighs in defeat, lowering his eyelids so you can continue with the final adjustments. I could've stared at her for a little longer. “Are we there yet?”

“Almost,” you answer, slowly climbing up to his lap for a better view of his eyes. “Stay still for me, yeah?”

Fuck, did she just climb on my lap? Jay sucks in a breath as he fights to move a muscle. He didn't want to ruin whatever masterpiece you were making; he didn't want to pop a boner at the wrong time, either. The fact that your breasts were slightly squished against his chest didn't help, most of all. He was doomed.

“And we're done!” you chirp, causing him to open his eyes. “You wanna take a look?”

“Definitely.” I definitely want to pin you against this fucking mattress right now. “Show me.”

You tilt your mirror to the perfect angle so he can see the final product. In awe, he lets out a chuckle. That sound alone was enough to tell you that you did a good job. You loved this man so much.

“Fuck, that looks so Future Perfect, babes!” he comments, discreetly gazing at your figure through the reflection of the mirror. “I think I'm ready to perform with my muscles out now.”

Flattered, you plant a kiss on his chapped lips. “I'm glad you liked it, but we gotta do something about those lips. They're as dry as the Sahara.”

He doesn't say a word as you grab a lip balm from your bag, but flinches upon hearing the lid pop open. He silently watches as you aim the balm to his plump pair, taking you aback as he grabs your wrist, therefore stopping you in your tracks.

“I don't want anything on my lips except your lips, Y/N.” he says firmly, “Kiss me instead.”

“Oh–” 

He cuts you off with a soft press of his lips against yours, slowly progressing into slow, open-mouthed kisses as he goes. You respond with a low hum as he runs a hand down the dip of your spine, all while grabbing the balm away from your hold. With your hands making their way to his hair, you deepen the kiss as you finally figure out what he's up to.

“Mmm…” you mewl softly, pulling away from his kiss with a pop. You spare a few seconds to stare at your work of art, and you swear you could've creamed your panties then and there–it felt like you were making out with the Jay of ENHYPEN in the backrooms of Music Bank right now. “It's exactly what I had in mind.”

“Is it?” he grins slyly, tracing circles along the supple skin of your stomach and eventually pulling off your top. “Oh, baby, I think I need to warm us up. It's getting cold outside.”

“Please, Jay…” you beg as he deftly unclips your bra, latching his mouth on your hard nipple. “I'm not gonna be able to touch you for days.”

He pins you down the mattress, hands above your head. A chuckle leaves his lips as he feels your hips squirming against his boner. “Let's make this count, then.”

The sound of the heavily pouring rain accompanies that of Jay's wet lips against your skin. He wastes no time traveling down south, licking and sucking on your stomach and thighs. A shaky breath leaves your lips as you feel his hand slowly tug down on your panties. 

“Fuck.” he almost feels himself drooling at the sight of the wetness that was pooling in your panties. “Already?”

You groan out, not wanting your boyfriend to drag on and tease. “Can you blame me? It was your fault for being so hot—ah!”

You look down to see his tongue already latched on your clit, fingers slowly prodding in your pussy. His siren eyes stare straight at yours, making you involuntarily clench as he strokes you roughly. A string of moans leave your mouth as he moves his tongue and fingers in various ways–incoherent mumbles of pleasure and excitement.

“I take it I'm doing this just right, hmm?” he teases just before he fully sucks on your clit.

“Ah! Fuck… more…” you cry out, squelching sounds filling your ears. 

He happily obliges, intensifying his actions that were to eventually lead to your first orgasm of the night. You instinctively clench your legs around either side of his head, which he secures with his strong arms. Heck. His biceps felt like steel enclosed in velvet against your thighs, and the way they were flexing didn't help with your already fucked-out self.

“Wanna cum…” you whine out between shallow breaths, feeling the knot inside you wait to let loose. “Pretty please, love… m’gonna cum!”

“Right, cum all over this face, baby doll.” he replies, rubbing the wetness from his fingers onto your clit. “Let it go, c’mon.”

With a final stroke of his thumb against your clit, you release all over his face and he hastily laps up your juices clean. You take another look at his face. With sweat glistening on his forehead, lips tucked up in a lopsided smirk, and eyes brimming with hunger and lust, he was all ready to make you his and only his for the night.

“You're a stunner from up here,” he comments, eyeing your naked body up and down as he pulls his sweatpants away, cock springing out of its confines. He then leans down to prop an elbow on either side of your head and gives your lips a messy peck. “My pretty little baby… are you sure you're ready for me?”

You confidently nod as you feel him coating his whole shaft with your wetness, to which he lets out a small chuckle. “I want all of you, my Jay.”

With that, he effortlessly slides himself inside your pussy, stretching and filling you to the hilt. Your hands latch onto his shoulders, moaning out his name as he hits your most sensitive spot.

“Ah… mmm… this feels like our first time.” you whimper as he gets himself moving on top of you. “So fucking good…”

“I know how much you like it rough, darling.” he whispers teasingly, leaving harsh hickeys along your neck as his thrust gradually picks up its pace. “So much, yeah?”

“So much—ah!”

He cuts you off with a series of hard, heavy thrusts. “Use your words properly, baby.” Thrust. “I wanna know what my baby wants.”

“Ha… want it rough and hard, love.”

“Good.” he coos, the telltale action of him swinging your legs over his shoulders making your heart race. “Just tell me when I have to stop and I'll do so. No buts and ifs.”

He proceeds to ram himself inside you, not caring whether your screams were waking up the neighbors next door or his phone was restless with missed calls and messages coming from his manager. It was just him, you, and the heat of the moment.

You can feel every inch of him as he goes balls deep inside you, and you're desperately holding onto the sheets of your bed in hopes to keep yourself steady, but to no avail. Your boyfriend doesn't look like he's slowing down at any time as a heavy hand lands on your ass cheeks with a sting.

The storm grows stronger as your climax approaches nearer. Jay’s hips snap fast and hard against yours and the way his hands were moving all over your body made it even better. The way your eyes rolled back to your head as he tweaked the position a bit has him going haywire.

“Fuck, you're so tight around me.” he sighs on your ear, thumb rubbing your clit as he drives himself deeper and harder. “You missed my cock that much, huh?”

You nod in response. “I can't believe I won't be seeing you for another week.” you grumble, back arching as he hits your sensitive spot again.

“I know, I know,” he replies, his free hand groping your breast harshly. “Let me make it better for now, yeah? Cum all over me like the good girl you are.”

“Ah—yes! Almost there, please!” you almost scream out as the sensations of his cock inside you and his hands on the most sensitive parts of your body send you into a state of euphoria.

With a final thrust, Jay triggers your orgasm which also triggers his shortly after. He mumbles a quick “I love you” as he feels your legs shake against his body, feeling a little lightheaded after all the work he has done.

“I love you more.” you say in between pants as he pulls out and lays you flat on the bed. “Ah, that feels a lot better.”

“I'm happy it does.” he replies, cleaning you up with a towel he found somewhere in your bed. “You want a shower?”

You roll your eyes at him. “Just promise me you won't put me in standing O’s or something. We gotta clean up. I feel sticky.”

“Alright, princess.” he chuckles, scooping you up from the bed and into the showers.

“Will you be gone by the time I wake up?”

“No, you won't be waking up alone tomorrow morning.” he mumbles, tucking you in your blanket as he kisses your forehead. “I'll make you breakfast.”

“Promise?”

He nods. “Yeah, I promise.” Peck. “Oh, and about the eyes?”

You look up at him, noticing how he still has the makeup on. “Mm-hmm, what about ‘em?”

“I don't think I can have them in any other way.”

You giggle, kissing his eyelids one last time before finally letting slumber take over the both of you. He puts you back in the same position as you were in an hour ago—snuggled up enough to keep each other warm on a rainy afternoon.

The privilege of looking at his beautiful eyes before you close your eyes to sleep was yours, and you're happy it is.

a/n: YAYYYYYY finally a fic! this was heavily inspired by jay's stage makeup (which i'm a hoe for) and how those colors in his eyes turn him into a different person onstage (peep the photo i used) 👀 this is for all the jay hoes AND for the current non-jay hoes who are currently swerving from lane to lane. mwah.

NSFW TAGLIST [OPEN]: @thots4hee @jaylaxies @ddeonuism @jojayke @vernonluvs @puphee @hee-pster @heeshalo @forjongseong (send an ask or a dm to be added!)

© criceofpain on tumblr, 2022

[lesbianjackies]

Brooklyn Baby

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 776

Warnings: Language, a bit of angst

Summary: You really wish Eddie Munson would stop playing with your feelings. (Inspired by the song by Lana Del Rey)

General Taglist: @gg-is-a-loser @yesshewrites1

Moots: @spidervee @iheardarumorthings @thewritingbabe @scandalous-chaos @ddejavvu @winterwisteria @abibliophobiaa @roxetteblack

Hawkins, Indiana is very different from Brooklyn, New York. You’re used to bustling streets, tall, busy buildings, and car horns honking even in the dead of night. Hawkins is small, and quiet. There are only a few stores and fewer restaurants and you’ve been to all of them. You like it, though; you like feeling like you’re the coolest person there, with your obsession with jazz and beat poetry and the novels you spend most of your time writing - you even sing in a band with Eddie Munson.

Eddie Munson.

You’re too cool for Eddie Munson, is what you always tell him.

“I know,” he’ll reply, smirking and twirling a strand of your hair in your fingers. “You’re like ice, baby.”

You’ll laugh, tilting your head back before covering your face. “Shit, that was terrible.”

Eddie’ll laugh as well, biting his lip before leaning closer. “I know,” he’ll whisper, and you’ll close your eyes for a kiss before he pulls away. Just like he always does.

You shake off your thoughts. You’re wearing a little white silk dress; your makeup makes you look like a 1940s femme fatale. Eddie’s letting you sing Lou Reed, your favorite artist, even though he usually sticks to current rock bands or original songs.

“You ready?” You feel his breath on your neck as he sidles up beside you.

You shiver. “Mhm.”

Eddie grins, patting you on the shoulder. “You’re gonna do great. You’re my Brooklyn baby, yeah?”

“Yup.” You force a smile, wishing his flirty remarks actually meant something to him. You sucked in a breath and walked onstage, which was really just a slightly elevated structure in the middle of a park.

Eddie began softly strumming his guitar, and after a moment you began to sing.

“Just a perfect day

“Drink Sangria in the park

“And then later, when it gets dark, we go home

“Just a perfect day

“Feed animals in the zoo

“Then later, a movie too, and then home…”

Eddie is mesmerized by your soft, haunting lilt of a voice. The strumming becomes subconscious as he focuses on you, watching the way the music captures your soul and takes you away from the world. You convey emotion like no one he’s ever seen, with your melancholy stares and delicate, ethereal movements. He loves you like no one he’s ever loved before, but he knows better than to get too close.

You’re a Brooklyn baby, cool as ice and hard as stone. His fleeting glances and flirtatious comments mean nothing to you, so he tries his best to make them mean nothing to him.

After the performance you follow him backstage; sweat glistens on your brow but it only makes you look more ethereal, like a goddess glowing and sparkling after placing an enchantment on a helpless man. Eddie knows not to get too close, but his body doesn’t; he feels himself stepping closer and closer against his will, and before he knows it his lips are on yours and he’s kissing you like his life depends on it.

You desperately kiss him back, grabbing his face and devouring him like you’ve fantasized about so many times. Then you break away, tears streaking mascara down your cheeks. You turn away, rubbing your arms shakily. “Please don’t play with me, Eddie,” you beg him quietly.

Eddie’s features twist in confusion. “What?”

“You don’t love me.” Your voice breaks. “Don’t flirt with me and touch my arm and kiss me like you care when I know you don’t.”

“(Y/N)...” Eddie takes a step toward you. “(Y/N), I’ve been in love with you since the moment I met you. I’d never play with you.”

You sigh, looking down. “Are you lying to me?”

“No, no…” He steps closer; you can feel his breath on your neck. “I wouldn’t lie to you. I couldn’t. Not when I look at you and feel like I’m going to melt into a puddle on the floor.”

You let out a watery laugh, relaxing when you sense his authenticity. “I’m in love with you too,” you tell him quietly.

Eddie grins, spinning you around and capturing your lips once again. “How would you like a boyfriend who’s in a band?” he mumbles against you. “You could brag about me to all your friends, cool girl. They’d be obsessed with you.”

“I’m obsessed with me,” you reply, kissing down his neck. “I don’t need them to be. I just need you to be obsessed with me too.”

He breaks away and cups your cheek, grin widening. “You don’t need to worry about that, baby. I’ve been obsessed with you for years.” He kissed you again.

[takemealivelh]

send me more pictures - lh

luke and french model. he goes for tour. she stays for work. sexting. mentions of eating disorders.

1.3k

FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED

luke packs his things while edie is laying on his bed. stomach against the mattress and a sad expression on her face. i can’t believe you’re leaving for eight months. that’s a lot. 5sos leave on the 2nd of april so they can be in the uk for the fourth. first night of tour. luke comes back december 16th. he’s gonna stay in a australia for a few days to spend time with his family. he asked edie several times to come with him. at least for the australian leg of the tour, love. please, he said. i have to do fashion weeks, luke, she reminded him. and a bunch of photoshoots. edie is a sought-after model. she’s french and came to the states when she was eighteen to try out her luck. she met luke at one of the fashion shows she d back in 2019. she was wearing philipp plein when luke walked for him. they met in the after-party. it was funny because they fucked in her hotel room before even getting to know each other. but that’s life right now. you fuck someone, then you meet them.

i hate to leave you here, why do you have to work so much? he asks.

i could say the same thing about you, she smiles softly. 

luke kisses her lips tenderly before going to his closet and taking out his favorite green silk shirt. here, he says and hands it to her. so you can think of me, he smiles. edie grabs it and immediately puts it on over her tank top. it smells like you, she says.

hands on your face, edie. move like a gazelle. those were the instructions of the photographer and creative director of paper magazine. she likes these photoshoots because they’re artsy. she doesn’t have to try too hard to be sexy because art is the goal here. what she really wants to do, besides modelling, is being a creative director. make unexpected decisions to produce new pieces of art in magazines. she does as they tell her to do. it comes easy to her. back in france, her mother used to take her to ballet and modelling classes. but she took all the art and design courses available for people her age. not many as sixteen was too young.

she leaves him at the airport. luke hugs her goodbye as the flashes of the cameras blind them. they’ve always had to deal with paparazzi. especially when they started going out to bars on dates. the pictures weren’t exactly the best. more than once edie felt bad about her body. she’s still recovering from an eating disorder. luke held her tight every night and roamed his hands over her torso and thighs. you’re so gorgeous, so sexy, you’re perfect. he would whisper in her ear the most comforting things. edie liked that he seemed to understand her, he always knew what to say to make her feel better. fuck them, they would both laugh.

when she drives back home, she catches a glimpse of the green silk shirt that’s peeking out of the bag she brought to luke’s place. they don’t live together, but they live close enough to spend almost every day in each other’s company.

luke goes out onstage. amsterdam. one of his favorite places. he and the band do radio shows and a bunch of interviews. some people ask him about his girlfriend, and he always seems to blush. when he gets to paris, he thinks about meeting edie’s mom. he’s talked to her over video calls. but it feels weird. meeting her without edie around. so, instead, he sends her flowers. he gets a thank you call and they talk for a bit. i’m worried about edie, she tells him. what do you mean? he holds his phone between his ear and shoulder as he takes out his wallet to pay for a cup of coffee at the shop near the hotel. i think things are getting bad again. she’s losing weight too fast. i’ll talk to her, he promises.

that night, after the show is over, luke texts edie. she replies immediately. i’m wearing your shirt, she says and sends a winky face emoji. luke is in his hotel room and he laughs on the bed, wearing sweatpants and a white shirt. i bet you look good, he texts back. oh, i do. she sends him a picture of her cleavage, barely covered by green silk. oh, so this is what we’re doing, he teases. maybe, she replies. edie sends another picture, this time of her ass. luke smirks and palms himself over the fabric of his sweatpants. no panties? he asks. just your shirt. it’s so soft. luke’s fingers can’t text back fast enough. do you miss me? of course, i want you in my bed, she says. he decides to reach for his semi-hard length under his briefs. you would love paris, i could fuck you in this balcony. overseeing the eiffel tower. there are a few typos in his text because he’s using his left hand. right hand busy pumping himself until there’s precum leaking from him. you could fuck me in this green shirt from behind. no one will notice. his pace quickens. send me more pictures, he asks. and she does as he says. three pictures are sent at the speed of light. one of her chest with the shirt completely unbuttoned. another of her legs, silk barely covering her pussy. the last one is a boomerang of her face blowing a kiss. good enough? luke’s eyes scan the photos. they arouse him, he wishes he was there right now. he misses her terribly. you make me so hard, babe. let me see. he sends her a picture of his erection and his hand holding it. you’re so big, she texts back. 

goodnight, sweetheart. luke sets the burning phone on the nightstand and lays on the bed with his heart racing and feeling tired. he didn’t ask her about how she’s feeling. but he’s exhausted from the show and the visuals he got to see just recently. maybe tomorrow.

edie wakes up at 8 am. she goes to the bathroom to shower and then back to her room to get dressed. she takes out a measuring tape and counts the inches of her waist. she’s lost 2.3 inches since luke left four months ago. is that healthy? she stopped having breakfast and started taking diet pills. is that healthy? she gets a call while she’s putting on her pants. it’s luke. salut! how are you? she sits on the bed. i’m good, love. touring’s been great. she can hear the smile on his voice. i’m so proud of you, luke. they talk briefly about how’s work doing and how tired they both are. i’m so tired i could sleep for a day or too. i’m so tired i want a truck to hit me. they laugh. no, but hey. i need to ask you something. luke’s tone turns serious. yeah, what’s up? she hears a heavy sigh on the other side of the line. are things getting bad again? he asks. what do you mean? i just... i got a call from your mom. she’s worried you’re losing weight way too fast. edie falls quiet. should she tell him about all of this? the crying and the rage ripping through her veins. she just wants to look good. and she wants him to tell her she’s sexy. she wants him to adore her body. i’m fine, luke, she lies. i was sick for a while. i spent days on the bathroom, the model chuckles. alright. he doesn’t really believe her, but he doesn’t want to push her too much either. especially because he’s not there to comfort her.

[haikyuuublog]

Haikyuu Characters as Theater Kids: Inarizaki Edition ft. Sakusa

Sakusa:

Came to practice just to see what was going on and Atsumu pressured him into trying out

Atsumu tried to dance with him and Sakusa swatted his hand away. He then proceeded to speed walk to the corner and use the entire supply of Purrell to “rid himself of that annoying germ”

Atsumu asked him if he thought he was contaminated jokingly

Sakusa just responded with “yes”

Then Atsumu asked, “Would you still love me if I was a germ 🥺”

Sakusa never returned to practice again

Atsumu:

Gets mad every time someone in the audience so much as whispers during the show

Does the fist thing on stage even though there is no music or chant. It looks really stupid.

Gets in fights with Osamu all the time omfg

He was banned from being on the stage at the same time as him because they would throw hands in the middle of the play 😤

Osamu had a line where his character insulted Atsumu’s. Atsumu glared at him yelled, “Ok, I see how it is. Insulting me during the play so I can’t fight back. Jokes on you, I’m gonna fight you anyway!” And then he tackled him and they literally fought onstage.

After the show, people thought that the fight was part of the actual play and Atsumu got praised because “wow, that fight choreography looked so realistic!”

Despite the praise, the instant the audience left, Stage Crew Iwaizumi grabbed them both and said, “the next time you two fight each other in front of me, the fight’s about to get A LOT MORE REALISTIC”

I need to mention Stage Crew Iwaizumi whenever I have the chance because he lives in my head rent free 😌

Atsumu is also so fucking cocky and brags about how good he is

I actually think he would have a good singing voice which is unfortunate because he has a right to brag 😔

Is a ridiculous perfectionist too so he would really want to be the best and put in the effort

Does not cooperate with the other actors and complains nonstop

Has driven away people trying to audition because he straight up will tell them they suck

Really goes all out on stage though. This attention whore needs the standing ovation

Osamu:

Eats on set

Like he brings a whole ass meal and if he’s hungry he will bring the food on stage

One time Atsumu said, “you don’t need to bring food because I’m already a full course meal”

From then on, he brought food for everyone but Atsumu

He does cook all the time for everyone else though

It’s on sight every time he and Atsumu are in the same vicinity

Kita:

Literally the ideal cast member

Hardworking, practices consistently, a leader, smart, patient, cooperative, graceful, doesn’t need to be the center of attention, memorizes all the lines so he could fill in for any cast member etc.

I have no critiques: like he’s genuinely perfect

However, he is really intimidating sometimes

Atsumu complained all the time about Osamu not giving him food. He kept making these annoying passive-aggressive remarks towards him. Like Osamu would mess up a line and Atsumu would be like, “Well MAYBE if you had actually GIVEN someone food, this wouldn’t have happened” or Atsumu would forget a line and be like, “Damn, I’m so HUNGRY, it’s hard to think.” And would just pointedly look towards Osamu.

One day Kita had had enough. In the middle of a scene, this man gets up on stage, walks straight up to Atsumu, and stares him down. He doesn’t say anything. He just stares. With intense eye contact.

Kita is 175.2 cm (5’9”) and Atsumu is 183.6 cm (6’.03”). Yet somehow it felt like Kita was the one looking down on him

Atsumu ended up profusely apologizing and promising he’d never complain about it ever again

Kita basically used only eye contact and his presence to make Atsumu shut the fuck up

So yeah, like I said, Kita’s an absolute saint 😇

Suna:

Records everything to post online

He has a tea account where he posts all the videos; it is mainly the Miya twins fighting

Has amassed so many followers

Some videos he has not posted because he “wanted to use them for future reference”

Atsumu said that suspiciously sounded like blackmail and Suna gave no response which was more concerning than if he said anything

Aran:

Another great person to have in the cast

Helps keep people in line (mainly the Miya Twins), is a good actor, is supportive of everyone

Similar to Kita, he is very mature and poised on set (unlike most people *cough cough* the Miya Twins)

He helps keep them humble too. Especially Atsumu.

Every time Atsumu says something outta pocket, Aran calls him out. His favorite one to say is, “Until you fix your whack ass dye job, you have no right to talk shit about anyone.”

On one hand, Aran does mean to roast him, but also he genuinely really wants Atsumu to fix his dye job.

Which is incredibly valid

Because it’s really bad

He has a bet with Osamu on if he can convince Atsumu to change his hair color

Unfortunately for Atsumu, the color Osamu would secretly dye Atsumu’s hair with was hot pink

But honestly, it’d still be an upgrade 🤷‍♀️

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N:

I had a really long day of work today, and I really wanted to get out these headcanons before the day is over. I know I said this about last post, but I really don’t think that these ones are as well-done as the others. I’m sorry that they’re not as funny or creative.

Also, this whole post is basically Atsumu slander. I would like to say that I love Atsumu. I kin Atsumu. I simp for Atsumu. But will I ever stop slandering Atsumu? No. No I will not.

[schatlabsunlimited]

Piers Headcanons | Music

Because I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately, lemme just lay some stuff down to share:

he’s a vocalist, first and foremost

he composes all his music, so of course he plays instruments too

he plays a whole range of instruments and he’s not gonna stop trying to learn how to play more

he probably collects instruments, but i honestly don’t know if he has the money and space for that since Spikemuth looks poor af and i think he doesn’t charge entry for his concerts there

but i’ll assume that he does anyways as long as he and Marnie are decently fed lol

recording equipment too

he definitely plays guitar, bass, keyboard. probably even a keytar

for drums, i think he also knows how to play, but i think he’s more likely to use drum pads or an electric set since he goes straight to recording his stuff when he’s on it

he records lotsa random ideas and gets a few really good ones polished enough

he’s always in his head with ideas and feelings so literally anything in the moment could end up becoming a song

seriously, dude’s just a one-man music machine and nothing can stop him

i swear, even artist blocks can become music

he’s just that musically expressive even though he looks like a tired grump who just wants to sleep and never wake up

speaking of sleep, he probably gets a lot of wild ideas from his dreams

so he just starts recording or writing down lyrics the moment he wakes up

i personally don’t think he’s formally trained, but he takes music so seriously that he figured everything out well enough on his own

he’s a pretty disciplined guy, ngl

things have to be perfect when it comes to his music

he has standards he has to uphold as a self-made artist

but he definitely isn’t a stickler or killjoy

for one, he does not discriminate any genres

obviously, he’s all about punk and hardcore genres

he’s all down for starting mosh pits and screaming his lungs out onstage

but he doesn’t think any less of “softer” genres

pop? cool. jazz? alright. opera? nice. rap? not his forte, but why not. country? sure, especially if it’s something he can do for acoustic nights. edm? sucks that he can’t sing here, but it gets the crowd going so he’s okay with that.

he loves and respects all genres equally, and will definitely participate in an intelligent conversation about any type of music, despite his clear preferences

just don’t be a rude genre-elitist jerk, and you’ll be good with this guy

dude’s actually pretty chill and is open to changing preferences and opinions

he makes his own music most of the time, but he occasionally covers other artists too, if the mood’s right for it

he values expression as the art itself

he loves music because of all the feelings, emotion, and passion it can convey and evoke

he loves expression because he’s a shy boy otherwise

he knows his own flaws, and that’s what makes him so strong

that’s why he pursued music as his passion because it’s life-changing to him

and it never ceases to fill him with awe every time he experiences something new with music

he loves the fact that his musical journey would be an endless one that’s full of surprises and knows no limits

music is his best friend

music is his life

he will always have some form of music with him, always, til his very last breath

he will not hesitate to put it aside for his responsibilities, though

for example, he took on becoming the Gym Leader and didn’t really pressure Marnie too much about taking the role from him, since he loves her and he also wants her to pursue her own ambitions first

he is a good brother and a good Gym Leader because of this, and it’s kinda sad that he fails to see this sometimes

but hey things got sorted out by the end of the game’s story, so yay!

I really wish he charges better for his concerts ugh he deserves the money

also he’s definitely gonna be using the money and exposure to breathe life back into Spikemuth so he really really deserves the money lol

once that’s done, do free gigs and benefit concerts as much as you want, bruv!

I’d love to hear your opinion on Piers, dear reader! Agree? Disagree? Tell me why 😁

[broadwayandnetflix]

Overprotective, Much? - Bill Hader x Reader

Theme: Fluff + Angst

Warnings: Sexual Terms, Language 

Summary: You and Bill have been secretly dating for two years now, only to complicate things one night when you partake in a very risque sketch unbeknownst to him?

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Ahhh Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays! This was a request sent in by @berkmansbabe​ I really hope you enjoy it! And it somehow fits what you were asking for! Have a good rest of your year everyone, hopefully 2021 is better? 

It was nearly four in the morning the last time that you checked, and you were almost half asleep over your laptop. Squinting one eye open, you gazed around the room to find a selection of your coworkers staring at you with little smirks.

"You're drooling, Y/N," one voice calls out; it had to be Mulaney's.

"Okay, you didn't have to tell her that!" another one chimes out, Jost?

Furiously you wipe the drool that was currently dangling from your chin and give the two the meanest glare that you could possibly muster.

At four in the morning, Tuesday's were the worst. Okay, well, technically, it's Wednesday now.

Mulaney only smirked before sliding a post-it note your way. You grimace, reading the details of the message scrawled out in what appeared to be Jost's messy script.

P. G. A. D, weekend update, orgasms onstage.

You practically gape at the note in awe; you were a writer, weren't you the one who was supposed to write this shit? Not perform it.

"Um, I'm not complaining, but isn't this more up Kristen's alley?" you protest, trying not to sound whiny.

"She's on vacation this week, and honestly we think you'd be perfect for it." Jost says matter of factly, giving you a small smile.

"Fine," you sigh before flopping back onto the table to get some more sleep. Earning another chuckle from the boys.

-

It ate at you all week, but I mean, you had the potential. If anyone would understand your feelings, it'd be Hader. His anxiety always got the best of him, and it hurt you to still see the man so stressed and uncomfortable.

Often, you'd be the one to find him after a sketch, rubbing soothing circles into his back. While he stares off rigidly into the curtain, he was fantastic at his job; it just didn't sit well with his anxiety. Although you knew it followed him home, into the late hours of the night, disappointment settling in.

It wasn't public, but the two of you had managed to make things work for the past two years. You had met Bill back when he had first arrived at 30 Rock, as you had gotten hired the same year Mulaney did.

Seth, who was practically your best friend at this point, could tell within an instant that you harbored a small crush for Hader. Often picking at you with little side comments that'd make you stammer and feel your body heat up in embarrassment.

For some time, you didn't even realize that Bill had reciprocated your feelings until he asked you on a date. The two of you curled up back at his place while he showed you some of his favorite movies, it was nice, and the rest was history.

The only problem was, it was safer not letting the rest of the group know about this advancement. God knows what they would do to Bill onstage with sketches...you didn't wanna know.

Alongside the fact that the two of you had quite a bit of an age gap, it wasn't that big, but you knew that Bill often internalized the seven-year gap between the two of you. You were only twenty when you had started at 30 Rock while Bill was twenty-seven. You loved him nonetheless, but you could tell it made him stress a little.

So you both kept it a secret, although you were pretty sure that Meyers and Mulaney knew at this point. While Jost continued to remain oblivious towards your little endeavor.

For this sketch in particular, maybe it was best to keep this one secret as well. Rarely did you ever perform on the show, and you wanted Bill to be proud.

-

Seth, who had been motivating you all week, motioned you into his office early Thursday morning.

"Okay, just spoke to Lorne about this, we're gonna fit you into one more sketch due to Kristen's absence." you nod apprehensively.  

"It's the easiest thing ever, all you have to do is sit there with Franco, and Hader, and read the cue cards about environmental issues. Keenan will cut you off, and you should be good." Seth explains before giving you a quick thumbs-up, causing you to smile slightly.

"God I am so nervous, is that normal?" you admit as Seth sits back into his seat.

"Oh my god yeah, it is not always easy going up onstage like that, but trust me you have the talent and potential. Lorne hired you for a reason, I'm sure if you brought this up to Bill he could give you a few tips on how to release stress." Seth replied as he gave you a warm smile.

You nodded, thanked him for the advice, and began heading back towards the writer's room to help the rest cut the left-over sketches that you all had mulled over during that week. Only to run straight into someone, their hands instantly going out to hold your shoulders steady. 

"Oh I'm so sorry I didn't even see where I was going!" you yelp, only to look up and see Bill trying to hold in a laugh. Only causing you to laugh slightly as well at the situation the two of you were in. 

"You okay?" he asks sweetly after taking in your somewhat frazzled state; without a second thought, you shook your head and went into his arms.

"I'm just stressed," you murmured into his chest as he quickly reciprocated the hug and wrapped his arms tightly around your waist. 

"About what?" he replied softly, his hold growing just a little bit stronger, that is until the two of you heard nearby footsteps and quickly broke away. 

A random production assistant walks past while you and Bill clear your throats awkwardly. 

"Uhm, I am actually going on a sketch this week, you're gonna be in the same one actually. It's with Keenan, I just barely ever go on, since I am a writer, you know?" you exhale softly, only to look back up to Bill. Who is nodding furiously in agreement.

"Oh my god, I mean, you know me," he stops to chuckle, "Y/N, I am a literal mess, I mean don't act like I am totally oblivious to you and John changing the cue cards before Stefon sketches." Bill exclaims as you find yourself beginning to smile.

"I mean, it's really cute seeing you break babe," he fake gasps. "I mean you just make it look so easy sometimes even when I know you're stressing out." Bill sighs slightly before meeting your gaze.

"It's not easy, it never is. It's just you learn how to cope over time, if you want I'll meet you at the end of the sketch. Does that sound okay? Just like you always do for me, which I can never thank you enough for." he says, grinning as you slowly nod in agreement. 

Giving you a quick peck on the forehead, he explains he has to go back to his costume fittings and that he'll see you later in the night. 

He always knew how to help. 

-

You watched anxiously while Seth said the cue that would lead you on stage. Letting yourself take a deep breath, you allowed yourself to block out the situation's overwhelmingness.

 Also, was it always this hot up here? 

With the cue cards coming into focus, you delved into the script, finding yourself ease into it over time. It was comforting to hear the audience laugh at your delivery, often seeing Seth trying to hold back a grin. 

Especially upon the time, you began to describe what made your character Tamara Parks go into orgasms from her specific condition, of Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder. 

"With the help of my physician I was able to find treatment, and today I can say that I am fully-" you let out a moan, trying not to break as you look down. Only to continue on the moaning and the appearance of discomfort as the script goes on. Seth progressively tries not to laugh as well.  

It almost was shocking that you were pretending to be aroused on live national television. Still, clearly, you were doing something right given the reactions that had been intended. 

You began to find yourself grateful for the ability to look down and away from the audience to compose yourself against the fake orgasms you were portraying. Seth's hand leaning to rest upon your shoulder, setting your character's orgasms off even more until the sketch was nearing its finish. The crowd applauded as Seth called you offstage. 

-

You had let out a breath that you didn't even know that you had been holding the minute you had left the stage. Clearly, you had done the job just as Meyers and Mulaney had anticipated, the crowd going wild, it felt nice, but you also felt like you needed a nap. Many of your coworkers had come up to congratulate you, but all you wanted was just to see Bill.

 Except, Bill and Fred were going up to another sketch for Weekend Update, you had asked a production assistant for some water as you took a seat in a nearby corner. It wasn't long before you had spotted Mulaney from out of the corner of your eye, within seconds; his eyes met yours, and he rather awkwardly stumbled over.

You had to stifle your laughter at how ridiculous he appeared in that moment, his rather tall figure colliding with the floor as he slid down beside you. 

"You did fantastic out there! See, I knew you could do it!" he whispered enthusiastically while nudging you playfully in the side.

The two of you commented on the show's progress and or which sketch that you had written was your favorite. Until your stage manager had motioned for you to go on for your second sketch of the night. John gave you a reassuring smile before giving you a little push off into the side wing you were supposed to enter on. 

-

The sketch was going well, that is until you felt an intense stare out of your peripheral vision coming from Bill, who was sitting beside you. Instead, it felt more dominant and tense than comfortable and safe as his thigh began to press up against yours. You gulped slightly before Keenan made his way over to you, feeling Bill's thigh against yours, almost making you lose control. 

The skit's premise was that Keenan's character would never let the guests speak, which was probably a good thing as soon as the cameras went off of you; you had to stifle a moan of your own, a real one. 

You were flustered beyond belief, and you couldn't tell why for the life of you that Bill was screwing with you on live television, but he was, and it was working. Of course, you appreciated the man's dominance but now was clearly not the time, except all you could feel was the heat pooling at the pit of your stomach. 

While you were slightly annoyed with him, something about that leather jacket he was wearing was really turning you on. Or the way he did all of this was genuine ease like he wasn't putting you in complete arousal right now was so intimidatingly hot. 

The crowd's cheering almost caught you off-guard as you realized the sketch was over, and Bill and Franco were getting up to leave the stage. You almost had to steady yourself as your legs felt wobbly and out of place, but you managed to maneuver yourself off the stage with as much grace as you could possibly muster. 

It didn't take long for you to feel Bill's hand slip under yours and tug you along to a back room, his taller figure looming over yours with a side of him that you had never seen before. His lips practically hovering over yours as you inhaled deeply and ultimately tried to compose yourself only to stammer your words a little bit.

"Um, heh, what did you do that for?" you murmured quietly so that only he could hear you.

"You really think I would let you get away so quickly with that sketch, I simply had to remind you that you're mine babe, mine." he growled as he leaned down close to your height, whispering the words in your ear. 

Your breath hitching at the contact, goosebumps spreading directly across your skin, and your heart skipping a beat. Except, you were in public, for crying out loud; why couldn't he have waited to save this for the bedroom later tonight?

"I-um, Bill did you forget that this is sorta a live show?" you retort back, stepping away from his slight hold. It finally hits you all at once, "Wait, Bill, are you jealous of my sketch with Seth?" you quickly ask, his eyes widening before quickly denying it.

"What? No of course not since when do I get jealous Y/N?" he says defensively, only to see you start to form a small grin.

"Oh my god you totally are!" you practically yelp, his eyes staring daggers at you.

"Hader, quick change happening for Daveheart in four minutes!" Bobby calls as he walks past the two of you unbeknownst to the little debacle going on. 

Bill's eyes darting between yours and the dressing room, you sigh and motion for him to go-on for how you would somehow resolve this later. After the door closes behind him, you allow yourself to slide down against the wall once again, trying to compose yourself after everything that had just happened.

-

It doesn't take long for him to find you, this time in a Scottish get-up, you were assuming, and still painfully as ever, you still couldn't help but think that he looked hot, even with his long brown wig. 

He sits down beside you, looking at you with a hesitant look in his eyes. 

"Okay, so maybe I am jealous okay?" he admits quietly, completely catching you off guard. "It's just sometimes I wish we didn't have to have this weird age gap, or have to worry about judgement from others or the press. I guess, just seeing you like that today, it just really made me jealous. Proud of course, I mean babe you killed it out there, I didn't even notice that you were anxious. It's just hearing you moan like that, god that was so hot, the things you do to me." he says, no longer making eye contact as he goes into his little tangent. 

God, you loved him. 

You sigh before wrapping your hands around his, before slowly pushing forward to envelop him in a kiss. He hesitates for a split second before going in at once, his hands reaching up to cup your face deepening the kiss.

It was like a breath of fresh air whenever the two of you had kissed, whether in the late nights after shows and you can see the sunrise. Or in walks home from work, fingers entwined, and quick glances before sneaking a quick kiss, or even just whenever Bill can spare one. 

The two of you pull away, only to catch your breath for a second. Bill's wig now tousled, and his eyes staring at you with admiration that you couldn't help but melt under. 

"You know Bill, I wouldn't change a thing about us. I love you just the way that you are." you say softly, sneaking in a little kiss before pulling away to finish your statement, a small pout grazing his lips. 

"Just maybe not during a live sketch, please?" you giggle softly, his eyes never leaving yours. 

"Hey, Y/N, I just wanted to say that you killed it out there-woah, what's going on here?" Seth calls out, startling the two of you; you moving to jump away before Bill quickly stops you.

"We're dating!" you blurt out randomly, "we have been for the past two years, and its time that we probably tell others about it."

 You clamp your mouth shut, ignoring Bill's jaw-dropping, and focusing on Seth entirely.

"Oh my god I knew it! Mulaney get your ass over here, we've been right this entire time! Hader and Y/L/N have been boning for two years." Seth yells over to John, who was busy cleaning up the cue cards as the show was coming to an end for the night. 

You practically groan, digging your head into Hader's chest in pure embarrassment as Mulaney comes bounding over to cheerfully laugh at your combined misery.

"And to think that Jost said that we were lying about the two of them, guys come on we're gonna go tell Colin!" Seth exclaims, beckoning for the two of you to follow to the writer's room down the hall. 

"Might as well join them," Bill whines as he pulls you off the ground and drags you along after them. 

[twistedtummies2]

What are your thoughts on the Twisted Wonderland casts doing Little Shop of Horrors

(whistles) That's a hard one, Anon. Let me see... So, first of all, let's address the true star of this show, Audrey II, the man-eating plant. Putting aside all kinky thoughts (hey, look at my pen name, you know who you're asking), I imagine the plant would still be played by a puppet, if we're talking a stage production at the school. So, who would voice the Mean Green Mother from Outer Space? Well, I USUALLY try to avoid casting the staff members, unless otherwise dictated, but...in this case, I cannot resist. I would say, without question, it would have to be Sam. Sam is the PERFECT casting for the voice of Audrey II: the plant is supposed to have this smooth, lusty, powerful, Southern-accented voice, and is a manipulative creature, very Mephistophelean in nature. I can think of no character who has both those qualities EXCEPT for Sam. He's based on Dr. Facilier, he HAS to play Audrey II. If you tied me to a chair and DEMANDED I cast a student, however...I guess either Jamil or possibly Idia. In the latter's case, I think it could be funny, because Idia finally has a role where he doesn't actually have to be seen by the audience at all. And he can use his tech savvy to doctor his voice, if needed, to make it sound better. No one would ever realize it was him. ;) The Prefect would play either Seymour or Audrey (the human, not the plant). I'm not sure which I prefer, so I'll also give each one a character alternate. For Seymour...hmmm...well, to be honest, Idia has the closest personality of anyone there, but I HIGHLY doubt you could drag him onstage. I'm gonna say Deuce, and Epel for Audrey. I know I use those two A LOT for these types of roles but...I'm sorry, they just seem to work VERY well for these kinds of relationships. Maybe it's because of their own relationship in-game, I dunno. Next, our secondary antagonist, Orin Scrivello. Orin is a real toughy to cast, because he's sort of like the Joker: he's a pure evil monster, a sadistic girlfriend-abusing cad who does what he does just because he enjoys it. He legitimately "gets off," without putting a finer point on things, on causing people pain and discomfort. But he's so enthusiastic and has such a great sense of humor about him and the situations he's in, it makes him an entertaining character. On the other hand, unlike the Joker, he's not especially flamboyant or superficially childish. In fact, despite his title of doctor, he's kind of a bullying thug. I narrowed it down to two options: Floyd Leech and Leona Kingscholar. Both of them have pretty sadistic edges to their characters, and both would look good in a leather jacket. (Ha Ha Ha.) Floyd, I think, has Orin's more "psychotic" side down pat; he's the one I can see as more likely to gleefully sing about his own evil. On the other hand, I think Leona has the more domineering, thuggish edge Orin has down pat. So I guess it depends on which you think works best for your interpretation of the character. The only other major character of note (I'm not counting the Chorus, because I kind of imagine them just being played by Faceless characters) is Mr. Mushnik, the owner of the flower shop. If we're casting staff, I kind of want to put Crowley in that role. Mostly because Crowley and Mushnik have some similar qualities, in my opinion. Both are kind of loveable scumbags. XD If we stick to a student, I'll say Azul. Because he's just always easy to use in "businessman" type roles. :P

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

this might be a weird thought but the way jensen performs masculinity (and i KNOW it’s a performance cause like, have you SEEN the mockumentary?) is just.... so inherently queer to me lmao

ok. okokokokokok. you asked for this. i have a LOT of thoughts on this. it’s gonna be under a cut because i’m gonna be annoying and psychoanalyse a celebrity i’ve never met(and hope i never do) but trust and believe when i tell you i know what i’m talking about so

you want my opinion? here goes. there is absolutely no way jensen ackles is straight. i hear you, ‘how do you know that he’s bi? that’s invasive and creepy’ but may i counter that point by saying how do you know he’s straight???? why is the default for everyone heterosexual? that’s a toxic mentality to have; ‘oh you don’t know for sure so just treat him like he’s 100% straight just in case’ like....what? heteronormativity drives me wild i’m sorry

and also, um, just to, um, prove my point that this man is decidedly not straight™(i really don’t want to do this but like it has to be said) we KNOW he’s not straight because his d*ck has spoken for itself around misha, like, four times. I HATE SAYING IT!!!!!!! but, um, straight men don’t get aroused by men. ...do i really need to explain myself further???? that’s what i thought(and don’t give me the ‘it could have been for unrelated reasons’ or ‘that wasn’t a boner!’ crap because um good lord yes it was and misha caused every single one so no it wasn’t a coincidence i’m gonna move on before i collapse into myself like a dying star)

anyway, on to the topic at hand which is jensen and his performative masculinity. and it’s a juicy one.

after the unconscious amount of hours i’ve put into watching and subconsciously judging jackles, i have come to the conclusion that like, 90% of how he presents himself and talks and even moves is an act. it’s a facade. it’s a shield. he is not that person. it actually seems exhausting, because he tries to compose himself in this macho, manly, confident and effortlessly cool way, but he’s not that person he desperately wishes he was and wants to be perceived as. he’s on guard every second, even the slightest tilt of his head is like, pre-meditated in some way? if i’m going FULL body language analyst mode, i’ve noticed he has a certain posture he always shifts himself into, and it’s very ‘pursed lips, stoic faced, gruff voiced, square-shoulder, broad and manly’ but, not to be rude jensen, it kind of reads as a little kid imitating the adults he thinks are cool? oof i am going IN huh(it’s out of love though i promise)

he is trying to be this person at every second:

because that’s who he wishes he was, because that’s how he gets validation from the people around him that he looks up to; straight white guys. but to me, who he presents himself to be at conventions is just as much of a performance as this whole eye of the tiger bit is.

oh i should mention i know his body language isn’t naturally like that because how he naturally carries himself is actually pretty flamboyant? like he seriously must be toning himself down HARD

examples:

there’s no tension in his body here as opposed to the eye of the tiger gif. i’d describe it as...generally loose and free? he’s at ease when he moves like that and you can see it.

oh and dude!!! DUDE!!!! how could i not mention the fucking SPECTACLE that is his voice??? jensen. i watched season one. i know where your voice naturally sits. THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE. and there have been so many accounts of fans visiting jensen in his trailer and being surprised that his real voice is two octaves higher. again, his performance of masculinity is all encompassing. he can’t even talk normally because, in his mind, that’s a chink in his armour.

and, like you said, anon, this whole smokes-and-mirrors gong show of ‘i am the cool texan man’ is inherently queer. who are you trying to impress??? guys??? that’s pretty gay dude.(btw: gay[honorary])

i feel like i’ve already read this man for filth but i have to keep going bc i have so much to say

ok next thing i’m gonna talk about is how jensen says one thing but everything else about him tells us the exact opposite. another HUGE element of performative masculinity, ONE THAT DEAN WINCHESTER IS A MASTER OF. have i mentioned how dean and jensen are like mirrors of each other when it comes to their sexuality and queer identity??? because it is fascinating how everything i say about jensen also directly applies to dean.

allow me to introduce the grumpy face™. as in, the face he glues on when he’s enjoying doing something but doesn’t want to let anyone know it. and it’s ALWAYS when he’s doing something that could be seen as unmanly in any way. (and when i say manly i mean the ‘ideal’ version of manhood that doesn’t really exist but that jensen seems to be striving for[and dean too])

prime example is this video he did with daneel. the grumpy face™ doesn’t budge the whole time as he’s like,,,,playing an instrument and acting like he doesn’t want to bc i guess that’s too girly??? but i also find this video fascinating because the joke IN it is kind of that they’re both poking fun at him for being so insecure about playing a freaking flute. because, i mean, he gets into it, but he wants you to think he is not.

also this picture.

what is this. i hate them. jensen is smushing himself into misha’s forehead but noooo his face is telling us ‘i hate this’ because CLEARLY he does. also misha’s so happy ew gross

he does that face in photo ops with misha ALL THE TIME but how many times has he also literally asked the con goers if he can also have those photos on his phone too? because of course he actually loves touching misha and is actually a sentimental fool but he tries so hard to hide it and fails so spectacularly.

oh and this. and of COURSE this. actually let’s talk about the hitch kiss for a hot minute because it’s a perfect example of exactly what i’m talking about

(he is so transparent guys. he tries so hard but he’s so obvious.)

1. misha was never supposed to be onstage with him. so it’s a boldface LIE and OBVIOUS PLOY TO GET MISHA TO KISS HIM when he says ‘they’d like us to make out now’. but of course the way he says it is ‘oh my god can you believe what these crazy panel people are making us do haha but i mean what they say goes amirite’. same energy as ‘oh my god did you just dare us to kiss rn???’ ‘....no i didn’t’ ‘oh my god i can’t believe you’d ask that haha but i can’t say no to a dare lol’ it’s the SAME THING

2. the fact that he was in the worst mood before misha came onstage and FAKE KISSING HIM made him feel...SO?? much better? like not just a little better a lot better like, again, that says a lot, because if they weren’t dating he would not be in a better mood if misha kissed his cheek unprompted. bc that cheek kiss wasn’t a joke it was a genuine sign of affection and AHHHH

3. after the kiss happens. you know, the one that jensen actively leans into and is smiling like an idiot the whole time through and is quite clearly having the time of his life during....he says ‘well, that was uncomfortable’. .......my guy. um. i don’t know how to tell you that i do in fact have eyes and you are NOT pulling the fast one you think you are

like i’m so sorry jensen but i have you pegged. it’s literally no use.

god there’s so many instances of him doing this with misha specifically. the whole ‘ew gross lol’ but then everything about him tells us the exact opposite. like this(i hate this. how dare he say ‘he has though, hasn’t he?’ LIKE THAT?????)

so yeah my point with that is he really wants us to think he is one thing when he is the antithesis of what he’s trying to be. he really likes those things that he talks down about, and everything he’s loudly projecting is all to hide how he really feels. he went to a gay bar with daneel, for crying out loud. he wants to play a role in drag. he’s queer and he likes it. pov: you’re jensen ackles train of thought: ‘ok so i really like this thing that people might make fun of me for or call me gay for liking so if i just say ‘lol as if’ and make a grossed-out face they will be FOOLED. i am a genius. hey misha wanna blow on my ear lol i meAN GROSS EW’

i have two more things i want to talk about when it comes to this topic so PLEASE bear with me anon this is why you took so long to answer clearly lmao

ok so we’re now going to go over my favorite hot take of all time. which is ‘how do we know dean’s performing masculinity? because sam isn’t.’ only replace dean with jensen and sam with jared and oh my god do we ever have a case

jared is as STRAIGHT as they come. he is secure in that knowledge. and that’s why he is perfectly comfortable treating misha like this:

and not try to scream ‘i am not enjoying doing this!!!!!!’ at us. because he doesn’t care what we think of his sexuality like jensen does(because he has nothing to hide whereas jensen DOES)

something i found the other day that no one has brought up but i SCREAMED upon finding it is this one clip THAT I CAN’T FIND OH GOD but i promise i’m not making it up. i can’t believe i can’t find it guys it is gold. i need need NEED to talk about it. and if anyone knows what i’m referencing and can apply links in any way i will love you forever but here’s what happens off the top of my head:

ok so i’m a bit too braindead to explain it perfectly but um basically it’s a j2 panel and someone brings up magic mike and i think jared says ‘yeah i didn’t watch it’ and then jensen says ‘all the way through’. stupid joke. whatever. the joke is that jared is gay for watching magic mike.

and then i literally kid you not. jared gets this like ‘jesus christ ok dude? lol’ look on his face and then goes ‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ and jensen gets a guilty look on his face and walks away. and jared did not say it as a joke. he was being dead pan and earnest. and jensen knew it too, he knew he was projecting. i wish i could show you guys the clip i promise if i ever find it i’ll link it but IS THAT NOT SO DAMNING FOR JENSEN????? like come ON. also proves my point that when you compare how they feel about watching magic mike. jared doesn’t care bc watching it just doesn’t interest him, but he also thinks that just watching it in itself doesn’t make you gay. jensen however.......has a different mindset, clearly.

‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ is actually a great title for my next and FINAL section(we’re almost there folks) which is how jensen projects his insecurites about his own sexuality and relationship with misha onto misha.

i hope by now we’ve all seen this video of jensen impersonating cas. it is a blatant microaggression on his part. and like obviously homophobic. it’s like in his mind if he makes fun of them for being gay it makes them both less gay somehow??? it’s self-deprecation in a way??? let’s just tell it like it is: that impression was just jensen’s overt internalized homophobia rearing it’s ugly head. he does it a LOT too when it comes to misha.

i mean:

and that whole mess where he’s making fun of misha for being a bottom in their panel in 2016? ‘so you’re saying, like with football terms, there’s a handler and there’s a receiver heheheehe’ jensen you’re not exempt from being gay just because you know football terms lmao

oh and his OTHER impression of misha where he mocks him for...bicycling...because it’s not a manly enough sport??? jensen NO ONE else has ever thought this hard in their lives about what constitutes as masculine enough to be a sport before. that’s all you bud. we don’t find those jokes nearly as funny as you do. you are reaching, sir

the good news is that misha thinks it’s hilarious and knows it’s projecting on jensen’s part and will tease him endlessly for it. many stories come to mind, like that one photo op story where they’re literally dressed in rainbow banners and pride stickers but when misha goes to hold his hand jensen said something like ‘no way’ and then misha stepped back, put his hands on his hips and went ‘that’s the part that’s too gay for you???’ and jensen LOST it

or when that whole underwear thing happened(messy messY MESSY BTW) and then a fan asked a question about what dean and cas would do in rome and misha just said ‘when in rome’ and jensen makes a face like ‘are you serious’ and then misha says ‘you can’t look at me like that anymore, because of what you did!!!!!!’

OH and that whole story about when misha suggested they put jensen in the closet for that cat video....yeah um

and then when jensen was asked to do bisexual finger guns for a photo op and the con goer said ‘he looks bisexual here’ and misha literally said ‘oh he definitely looks bisexual here. i would say he’s actually closer to the gay side of the spectrum’ so..um...make with that as you will

OH MY GOD i’m finally done. wow. WOW. that was a lot. i hope i’ve blown your minds. ty anon i really wanted to talk about this and i hope you’re happy with the outcome!!!!!!

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

Okay let’s talk spies are forever it’s a musical it’s about spies

Firstly gotta say that I am so damn proud of TCB for making this happen it was so so cool to hear this songs revisited and all the original cast were SO much better than they already were in the original show. And the new additions also killed it

I was gonna try and stay on focus with the songs but immediately have to shout out Joey’s hair it really is so damn luscious. Still think there’s a little too much mustache but it is a Look and he does rock it. And while we’re at it fucking Lauren Lopez’s hair ma’am. MA’AM. God bless you and your curls I’m eternally grateful and also dead and in heaven. And the ring my god why did they need SEVEN diamonds I didn’t wanna keep looking at it but I kept looking at it it’ssofuckingsparkly. And definitely wasn’t emotional about it one bit

BUT back to the actual show lol love seeing these gay spies back together and love how much they emphasised they were gay because the subtlety makes sense in the show but we want everyone to know they were lovers

Curt has always impressed me with Spy Again and the emotional journey he goes on is perfect but hearing it live really made me appreciate his voice. Also taking someone’s drink during the song and then proceeding to accidentally spill it was a big Agent Curt Mega move

POMME I’d never seen/heard any of his performances my #1 thought with him had always been thank you but fuck you for giving us that story about them flirting, but his voice was also SO good and he was so funny. Joe’s DMA is so distinctive but this had the same essence without being an imitation it was so great. The start of Somebody’s Gotta Do It was him onstage asking Clark if it was his number and he said hi to Denise both nights (idk how many shows his parents went to but both that I was at) and made a joke about not having seen the show and been meaning to watch it for 6 years and then we get baby boy running on stage with his “sorry I’m late” and he’s just SO GOOD as Sergio. But “wife” got me just as much as I was expecting and there was a lot of hip game definitely at least the last night and doing it to emphasise wife was not it Joey. Not. It. Also didn’t think about hearing the dialogue so the wedding anniversary bit was also no. And I had an anon talk about Pomme hanging out with J&L but them singing this song together also made me like,, 🥺 But Joey’s VOICE I continue to be impressed by how much he’s improved

Then Eyes on the Prize I my beloved. Adore Lauren’s Cynthia. “Curt shut up” when he’s not saying anything? Perfect. Love the range in this song because her high notes are the most angelic thing to ever exist in this world but she controls the switches so well. And definitely the last night the growl in “die on me”,, babe do you want me to pass out? Okay and AJ!! He is so fucking funny, the way he does the “you gotta’s” and then just walks away so casually. And Lauren’s sustained notes at the end my goddd she’s fucking incredible. Really need her to not sing with her hands so much when she’s wearing the goddamn ring though

And man Tessa with Pay Attention is also perfect every time, 150% vibes and energy. Talking about Curt’s beard when he doesn’t have a beard always gonna be funny. This song was also about making sure everyone knows they’ve got great asses, apparently

Eyes on the Prize II truly sensual as FUCK. In a funny way but also a Lauren you gotta stop way

And we did get (a slightly censored) Not So Bad! They really handled it so well, and Brian really emphasised the “I’M Jewish”, it was even more over the top ridiculous, they cut the dance break to check in, and said a very explicit “fuck Nazis” at the end. Love them

Like I’ve said, fucking adore Joey’s Vanger Borschtit but AJ was so fucking great, I knew they wanted to change some but they changed a LOT of lyrics which was fun

Doing This is such a great song MK and Curt are really great (we know I’m not her biggest fan but the way MK sang the “in your mother’s home” part really hit something in my brain but are we gonna act like Lauren wasn’t the best part of it, no. She’s SO funny. Okay wait also in my head she did a really pretty riff but I’m actually 96% sure I’m making that up lol

And then my favourite part of the show, Lo coming onstage to say “best song in the show” and then “oh not that one, the one I’m about to sing”. Uproarious applause. She takes a bow. Incredible. Genuinely her stage presence and command of an audience is insane

One more shot is suchhhh a fun song and I really wish Esther could have been there but Brian was SO great

Then One Step Ahead honestly the first night I was just like my god Joey is Hot. So either I was just distracted or they did up it by the last night but like getting close enough to kiss, Joey checking out Curt’s ass, THIS is what this song is. And again, Joey’s voiceee. And the return of “time-a decide!!!” Can’t believe I almost forgot

Then Spy Dance is another really fun song and made even better by Lauren maybe fucking up and then laughing at herself bby girl I love you

And huge shoutout to Clark (and Pierce) for WRITING the most amazing songs and accompanying

This really just emphasised even more how *incredible* this show is, I’m so grateful I got to see it and I really really hope this is the start of even bigger things for them

Honourable mention to Lauren’s little runs when she was going offstage you’re the most adorable person I’ve ever seen

Everyone get the digital ticket!!

[natromanxoff]

12 - Nicknames...

Hello Playmates. Firstly a slap on the wrist for me. In the last thingy that I wrote I said that we were at Madison Square Gardens when John Bonham died. Well, according to someone in the good ol' U.S. of A. we were in Boston that night, so I was a day out. Also this very kind person, who "didn't want to burst my bubble," informed me that David Lee Roth said the same thing every night. I'm sure he did, I just said that I liked his onstage patter. There has to be some sort of joke about bursting bubbles and pricks, anybody know any?

Did we all get our Spring magazines? Credit to young Jacky and Val, they still do a great mag. In it were the answers to the last competition, and I have to be honest, I didn't have a clue about most of the questions. But here is a little bit of trivia. Q.8 (who, according to Roger, first suggested Another One Bites The Dust be released as a single) The actual very first people to suggest AOBTD be released as a single was The Royal Road Crew. We were lurking around at Musicland Studios while the fab ones were mixing, and I think it was Jobby who said it would be a huge hit. When we told the band they just glared at us and told us to mix some more cocktails. I suppose Mr Jackson saying it sounds more impressive than "Our pissed road crew said ..."

Q.10 (where did the "young man" who was stung on the knee by a wasp come from?) I had completely forgotten about "Two Sharp Pencils." The verses in that song, The young man from Dundee and The lady from Bude, were two stupid rhymes that I used to recite, and RT liked them and made a song out of it. I really hate to take to much credit (lying bastard) but 'Two Sharp Pencils' is also one of mine. It's very hard to explain, but the pencils are placed in a good looking girls ears, and whilst holding the pencils you can pull her head to .......... Enough said. Don't go all sexist on me, it was only a joke.

Q.20 (it was a question about who's nickname was who's) Nicknames. I did not know that Deaky's nickname of Birdman was common knowledge. Here's a little competition from your's truly. Does anyone out there know how he got it and when he got it, and anything else that goes with the story?????? Still on the subject of nicknames, some of you smarter people might have guessed that most of us had them, and that Crystal isn't my real name. It's actually Susan. When I started to travel with the band the first person to inherit my drum keys was a young guy, compared to the rest of us, who had worked with bands like the Thompson Twins. He wore stupid clothes like bondage pants, so Trip gave him the name - Mr. Modern, and it stuck. Whilst on tour in Japan, Mr M met a charming lady who we named Madam Butterfly, and this charming lady gave him his very first dose of the clap. By the end of the day Modern was getting very pissed off with us all, because every time he saw anyone, we would all clap him. I wrote on the gong flight case "Mr Modern has the Crap," and the last time I saw the case it was still on it. The last drum monkey we had, on his first day of rehearsals plugged a 110v keyboard into the 240v power supply and blew it up. British people here might remember a TV program called Auf Wiedesein(!), Pet. Ratty remembered the name of the arsonist in it, and so we had - Moxie. In-between these two wonderful people we did have someone else. We had a European tour coming up and Modern had moved on, so I interviewed a few people at Pembridge Road. I told one guy he had the job and asked him if he had anymore questions, and his first was "Who does Freddies gear?" He only knew me as Crystal, so I replied that Ratty did it. "Who looks after Brian?" Jobby. "Sound?" Trip. "Lights?" Idiot Boy. By this time he's looking a bit bewildered, and I said, "Obviously these are all nicknames and here's a little tip, you're gonna get one, and if you don't like it don't say anything otherwise it'll stick." Sound advice. A few weeks later we all turn up in good old Munich to start rehearsals. I'm in Rogers suite and said, "I suppose you should meet your new roadie at sometime." So I get on the phone and call his room, and when he answers the phone I said, "Hello Shag Nasty," and the dickhead said "I DON'T LIKE THAT." Welcome Shag.

We had to start how we meant to carry on, so we all headed to the Sugar Shack that evening. This could have been Spike's first day as well. Us old timers know how to pace ourselves, but dear old Shag has to drink himself into oblivion in the first hour, and proceed to pass out. A red rag to a bull. We pile him up with glasses, bottles, ashtrays and anything else we can find, and after a few hours Brian decides to head off, and being a nice guy said he would get Shag back to the hotel. We get him down to the limo and throw him in the back while Brian gets in the front, and on the way to the hotel he decides to decorate the limo with, amongst other things, diced carrots. So far this is not good job security. During sound checks Roger would spend forever tuning his kit, and during the show, with the heat of the lights and his pounding, would continue tuning during the show. On one occasion, sound check over and kit perfect, we head off until showtime. During the first number of the set RT is looking a bit put out, and after the first song starts frantically re-tuning the drums. This continues for quite a few songs until he starts to look relaxed. After the show Shag is summoned to the dressing room, and RT said, "Er Shag, after the soundcheck did you re-tune my kit? And the reply was, "Oh no Rog, I wouldn't do that, I just tightened up the loose ones." Back in Berlin and it's five minutes before show time, and Gerry comes up to me and says, "Look's like you've got your old job back for tonight." Why? I look round and Shag is being carted off on a stretcher, with an oxygen mask, drip and everything. What else can this clown get up to? For the last two million years Queen have finished the show with Rock You, then Champions, when the lights would come down, FM running around like a madman, RT standing up and hitting all his cymbals and playing just the bass drum with his right foot, BM playing the never ending power chord whilst keeping an eye on the drummer and JD wondering where we're going clubbing. As the lighting rig came to a standstill, Rog would sit down, and cue the rest of the band for the finish with two smacks on the snare drum and then an almighty crash of the cymbals, and it's over for another night. Play the tape. Shag had done this a couple of dozen times already, so you would think he knew. Wrong. On one night, Rogers doing his standing up bit and our beloved Shag thinks, "The stool is in the way." so he removes the offending stool. When Roger goes to sit down, there's nothing to sit on and he goes arse over tit off the back of the riser, and he's lying there winded. I tell Shag Nasty to hide for a while and try and get the drummer to his feet, and needless to say he's very pissed off. The lights have stopped and Brian has played the longest chord in the history of the universe. Roger finally gets back behind the kit, does the two hits and cymbal crash to finally finish the show, and then completely trashes his kit. I'm glad I didn't have to rebuild it. Needless to say, Shag did not last to long. Until next time.

Crystal

[1d-discourseoftheday]

Sat 9 Jan ‘21

LP Show Act 4, the Final show was today! Liam told us over and over it was gonna be a long event today but honestly it flew by? It was so good! The show opened right into an absolutely blistering 1D set and just kept going strong from there. The little commentary he had in the first part was to say again that he has a different understanding of the 1D songs then he did when younger and about how when he's doing those songs he gets flashbacks of being onstage with the band and where he'd be and stuff. Only You & I gets a different treatment, with a cute title card intro about the hard year, thanking us for providing a livlihood for his team by supporting the shows through the past year and saying “we can do this together... You & I”, plus it has footage of fans lip syncing along spliced in during the chorus. The highlight there though is when Liam hit that high note, and thanks to his recent comments I think we all know he was thinking about Zayn when he did; way TMI but that's Liam for ya! ANYWAY there's an intermission and then the hits just keep on coming, including Nina Nesbitt coming out to do Rita Ora's part in For You, plus an interlude where they chat and play some of her tiktok content (but with a lot of bleeping-- it WAS a family show!)

I have been a big fan of his chaotic format in the previous streams, with all the interaction and mixing it up with different parts- I feel like it both played to his strengths and was perfect for 2020 and I wouldn't have traded it- but this was very cool for the big last show and it felt like... more serious? It was straightfowardly just Liam and the music and the songs- TBH it felt very influenced by Louis' stream, with the format and also the lighting and set design. The sets were prerecorded, but aren't really edited; he's playing the songs live and back to back, just not TODAY. Plus with the prerecorded version we got Liam joining in with us (and his sisters) to also post about how great the songs were as they aired and interact with fans a bunch, so that was lovely. Anyway it's awesome to get these versions of Liam's songs (I would say the best ever version of some of his solo stuff honestly), especially as it seems like this will be the last time we hear some of them as he moves on to new things- as he says at the end of the stream, “I'm gonna take a little bit of time out right now but next time you see me I'll be singing some brand new music.” Fans hoping for new music TODAY were disappointed but he's gotta go write the songs first! Something to look forward to! He finishes it all on one last high note: “Thank you. Here's to the future.”

But that's not quite all the Liam! Before the big event, he did a live from home, with Maya and Winston the puppy present. He upset some by saying that Zayn wasn't in the 1D chat “because he isn't in 1D”, I mean...yes? He quit? It is what it is guys. Well, I'll also upset others by saying that Maya was very funny! I agree with Liam that her answer to his question- what kind of trend he should start about fans saying looks like Jesus- being “LPhasRisen” is, in fact, hilarious, and I also agree with Liam about Zayn's videos-- “he goes to town on the videos doesn't he?” (and that Vibez is lovely.)

Zayn meanwhile is doing Vibez promo and it continues to be a TREAT. Today we got late night instagram “answering” questions over a backdrop of Homer Simpson decked out in Nobody Is Listening gear, GOOD TIMES. Do you ride a horse often, “eh what?!” do you celebrate, “in general? or for specific reasons?” fave song “the next single” tell us more about it? “yeah it's me ft me” but does he really love yoga or was that just snark? The world may never know.

Also online, Louis! He tweeted during Liam's show “Hope everyone's doing alright! Stay safe”- but was he watching the stream? “Of course!!”

And the JHOlivia love triangle tabloid soap opera continues-- if they're trying to get people talking about Jason Sudeikis it's working (I had to bite the bullet and look up how to spell his name! It's that bad!); unfortunately for him despite the tabloid reports everywhere you look that suggest that he was the victim of H and O 'becoming close' before he and Olivia's breakup (which is weird given that until like yesterday we'd been told for months that O and J broke up at the beginning of 2020 and he never saw fit to correct that), what rumors are saying is that in fact he really did cheat (as opposed to her pretend thing). So why would Olivia sign on to this charade to make him look good at her expense? Who knows man but if the players' priority is publicity there's no denying that's working.

Anyway Niall posted from his bike ride, and Trump's deletion meant everyone went up a notch in the twitter “most followed” rankings, with Niall having most out of our five and the only account coming between Harry and Louis being Real Madrid (football club) which is all right I guess, I feel like they're probably good with that.