#i know i sound really negative
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finally got around to watch the dungeon and dragons movie and it was... good, i guess?
like it was an enjoyable movie, made me laugh, visually stunning with the world, characters were cool - kinda wanted to see more of them and their group dynamic.
but i suppose with so much hype around it, i had too much of an high expectation.
#it felt more as a first introduction movie than a standalone thing#esp with the characters#feel like the others beside the main dude didnt really get much time to delve deeper#esp that druid girl - i was looking forewrd to her the most#but she was just... there#did cool fighting stuff but dont really know much except one or two lines about her family#i know i sound really negative#and i did genuinely enjoy it!#but it just... i expected something more i guess?#even the emotional scenes didnt really hit#even the big baddie at the end was just... meh#they went all out on the costumes and the visuals - but forgot that we need to actualoy care about these characters to enjoy the story too#i feel as if this shouldve been a series#couldve helped flesh out the othee characters more and not make things feel so fast paced
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Mostly spoiler free summary of my viewing experience
#The boy and the heron#how do you live#studio ghibli#ghibli#in all honesty that movie was legitimately so fantastic and im like changed as a person#Story wise as well! It hits really hard if you know a bit about miyazaki and his legacy. Its a very personal movie i think#And you can feel it in every aspect#The eng dub voice actors were really good as well and the animation was beautiful as always#Also really loved the tone!!! The story really relied a bit on the use of negative space in both sound and pacing and i enjoyed that alot#in conclusion go read a article about miyazaki and his son and then go watch the movie it’s probably going to be one of my favorites#image id in alt
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that anon confession about how the psychics shouldve stayed as just toritsuka and saiki isnt something ive ever thought about before but it is making me now think about how... i probably wouldn't like saiki k as much if aiura didnt exist
i really believe that the three psychics were a necessary balance. toritsuka is arguably more important as a foil to saiki, but the vibe of the second season wouldve been totally different without aiura.
the protagonist who sees himself as selfish, and who does his best for others for the most part but really IS selfish at times because of his lack of hope in humanity, and then the perverted psychic who legitimately only uses his powers for selfish reasons until he meets the protagonist. thats already a good balance, but saiki doesnt benefit much from that. and then comes the psychic who is selfless to a fault and does TOO MUCH for the sake of others. NOW saiki is benefiting from this trio dynamic.
#thank you aiura mikoto for existing#i hope this isnt phrased as stupidly as it sounds in my head#saikis outlook on life is already so negative and i think he really needed to know people like aiura exist#and that power doesnt just corrupt corrupt corrupt#genuinely believe his later development would be extremely different without her#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#toritsuka reita#aiura mikoto#meows post
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Persecutors deserve better and not because they’re “misguided protectors” but because they’re people. -Kage
#sorry I’m just really fucking tired of seeing all of the positivity towards persecutors being ‘oh they’re just traumatized and confused’#like my guy there is a middle ground between ‘all persecutors are evil’ and ‘all persecutors are confused protectors/traumaholders’#I don’t know how to explain to you that you should care about others#you should care about people beyond the 2d versions of themselves that you want them to be#ok to rb#persecutor#system persecutor#actual system persecutor#endo safe#endo friendly#plural gang#pluralgang#inclusive plurality#anti endos dni#I heard we’re posting our old drafts to drown out some negativity in the pro endo tags#sounded fun#so here’s my contribution
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feeling a little down about myself & my blog lately, i cannot lie.
#ℕ𝕆 𝕆ℕ𝔼 𝕄𝔸𝕂𝔼𝕊 𝕀𝕋 𝕆𝕌𝕋 𝔸𝕃𝕀𝕍𝔼 / out of character.#i don't feel like i'm good enough nor that people really want to interact with me lately - i know half of it is my own fault#for not replying to ask memes quick enough & i know i get a ton of those - but idk it feels exhausting to not have like .#someone who is ride or die with me about our muses i guess. feels lonely. is the best way to describe it.#i feel like i'm constantly having to fight for my position in people's zones & it's getting really exhausting to me.#which is mainly why i don't bother being active so much lately; i feel as if i've lost interest in chasing people who don't care about -#whether i'm here or not i suppose#maybe it sounds like i'm just whining & i should be happier but i don't know#tumblr hasn't been exciting for me in a hot minute i won't lie#negative tw#vent tw#tbd /#sorry for this super honest vent but it's just how i'm feeling
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of course everyone can dislike a character for whatever reason but tbh i've never seen hate for any OM character that isn't at least 30% bullshit
#it's almost always#someone only focusing on the characters negative traits#and bringing up shit from s1#(aside from belphie. thats fair. murder is wrong ig)#i know this sounds rude but at some point yall just sound really whiny#from me#waba talk
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ok fellas this post is really different from my other stuff so i'm putting it under the cut for people who don't care and also because i'm slightly embarrassed
ok so. is it unusual for a girl to want to have a deep voice and a flat chest and a more square face and also feel slightly jealous of men and want to sound like them and look like them
and also is it unusual to want to be all that, but also simultaneously not be very bothered very much by how you look right now or by being referred to with she/her except for sometimes when you think about it too much. because i usually don't think about it except for sometimes where i suddenly just get really sad about being a girl or i'll always have this faint feeling that i am just unhappy about it
and also is it unusual to try to ignore it and go about your life being unbothered by it even though deep down it does kinda bother you but you can't really. like. say anything to anyone because your family won't react well and neither will your friends because they'll think it's weird and uncomfortable. i feel afraid to ever feel this way because i know the people in my life won't react well to it
so like. genuine question please lmk wtf is goin on because i'm unsure if it's normal and i've felt like this for a long time and it's confusing me and i don't even know what i'm going to do with the information once i know i'm just sort of lost LMAO
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#vent#ig???????????#it's not even funny (it's a little funny) how the only reason i've like. thought about this was because i am becoming#more and more jealous of actors in the musicals i watch#greaseball when i get you. when i get you#like i know it IS possible play as male characters in musicals or something as a girl if i ever wanted to#but the thing is i want to look like them and sound like them and i want to be masculine#this is me questioning my gender on my fucking cats the musical tumblr blog everybody point and laugh#might delete later depending on how embarrassed i get ARGH#I FEEL SHEEPISH#had this in my drafts for a long time but i'm caving in and posting it because i had a bad night last night thinking abt it#and i need to know. also i'm lying in bed having to get up and i don't wanna so i'm making excuses#anyway again. i'm embarrassed feel free to ignore this is so stupid#ok. being brave about this#i don't like being negative on here. idk if it's negative but it might come off that way and i don't want to be awkward#also idk how sharing it here will help. but i don't really know what else to go to#if nobody got me i know tumblr got me can i get an amen#keep adding tags to this like it's going to change anything. post the damn thing idiot#why am i adding so many tags like i'm hyping myself up in the mirror JUST POST IT
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places chin in hands. do you guys ever think about how, in-universe, TSAMS is kinda psychological thriller/horror-y?
Like. We watch it from the outside, duh, but it's literally canon that the characters are always being recorded by a third party and they never know which parts of their life will be uploaded for thousands of people to see.
It isn't a detail that's ever focused on because honestly, if it was, everything would probably just spiral and then explode or something. But I think about it a lot.
#xero says things#like. sorry i know this is gunna sound ridiculous. for example hastune miku HDKSNDK#she is an example of the negative outcomes of this. their life is broadcasted and so they get fans and inevitably some of those fans are-#-more than willing to track them down themselves#and there's nothing they can really do about it!!!#if this was a darker series then shit would get out of hand so fast!!!#i just think its wildly fascinating sometimes tho jqkdnwkf#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams
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I'm normally one to not worry so much about the quality of writing with these shows because to me they've always just been "the dumbass fnaf rp /aff". But. What the hell is this character assasination.
The fuck do you mean Moon suddenly doesn't care anymore. The fuck do you mean he's okay with killing Earth.
Really?? After EVERYTHING. Everything he's done to keep his family safe and make them happy. All the character development he's gone through. All his struggles with trying to prove he's better than the old him.
He's just suddenly.
A cold-hearted villain. That's it.
I'd actually be on board with this if it weren't for the way they're seemingly doing everything in their power to just turn Moon into an irredeemable asshole- There were some really interesting lines in "Moon KILLS EVERYONE" that make so much sense, like when Moon mentioned everyone getting in his way to stop him from doing things when he just wanted to do something, and now he's decided "fine, I'll BE selfish then for once" for example. I really like that as a motivation, but why would he just stop caring for his family?? I would've been on board if it was something like how I thought it was going originally, that he's convinced this is the only way to bring Solar back, if he can just do this then everything will be okay again. He knows this is bad but it's the only way, right? He doesn't want to do this, doesn't want to hurt his family and tear his relationship with them apart, but it'll all be worth it. Maybe this is selfish, but he needs to do it. Maybe they won't forgive him, maybe Solar will hate him too, but at least he'll be alive, right? So long as they're all alive and well, he can live with that. And then the others are fighting back because they don't want Moon to go down this path, they don't want to lose him, too. We can find another way, please just stop.
As it stands it just kinda feels like they're forcing things in a specific direction in order to justify whatever resolution they have planned, which at this stage seems to be bringing the Old Moon back. And honestly, bringing back the Old Moon is a fascinating concept to me, it would be so interesting to see how that would go- how would he react to everything that's happened in the time he missed, how would he interact with Sun, how would Sun interact with him now that he's started coming to terms with how toxic their relationship had been. But at the expense of whatever the hell they're doing to the New Moon? Not worth it to me.
I also have a lot of feelings about the way Earth just COMPLETELY decided "oh okay screw you then" with barely a hint of actively wanting her brother back- like come on you're telling me that when the Creator betrayed her she struggles to come to terms with it for weeks, but with Moon she gives up just like that??? But I. Honestly barely even have the energy anymore.
Why. Just why.
#tsams#the sun and moon show#the lunar and earth show#tlaes#tsams moon#It was honestly so hard to get through todays episodes#I had to stop every couple minutes to just scream#Why was Monty the only one who sounded appropriately distressed and confused at Moon suddenly not caring??#does everything that's happened mean NOTHING???#It really kinda feels like it#Also Puppet. You couldn't have just#Oh I don't know#turned Moon OFF???#HE'S A ROBOT#OFF SWITCH UNTIL YOU GET THINGS SORTED. PROBLEM SOLVED.#argh I don't like being so negative#sorry#just needed to vent
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you know i think i had gotten kinda lucky finding so many great to ok totk reviews bc i went to search yesterday (my god is youtube shit at searches now man, i want to see stuff for what i searched for not 20 things other people watched) but there truly is some utter shit there
i went through some that boiled down to angry gamer mad about game (kinda glad really bc seeing someone that actually is like that it makes me feel less like im doing the same xD) one of which saying the only reason the building is in there is bc they were trying to copy ... FORTNITE??? and another ones big point was that .. the graphics and animations are the same which ... just sounds like one of those pokémon people angry that a new game doesnt redo every single model and animation for 400 NPCs
(also one with a one step away from porn thumbnail that later i saw someone else talk about and apparently og video was about zelda being ..... too ... woke ... actually made me a little curious bc what the fuck could possibly be woke in totk?? sonia having slightly darker skin????? but theres no way im giving someone like that views lol)
and a huge portion is videos making fun of bad reviews for totk ...... which i dont think i need to explain why thats not worth anyones time lol
i find it sad how hard it is to find more diverse kind of people making totk reviews since id love to hear someone that may understand and know more than i do talk about it, new perspective and all that (also since most reviews i found good are really taking everything at face value with no one really looking at how the whole hyrule kingdom vs evil desert man is kinda ... not cool) but then again i know how youtube can be and how extreme some hardcore totk defenders are so i probably wouldnt want to get into all that either :U
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#kinda#i did find a few from poc but they largely didnt really end up saying anything and were more of what the game is#or the audio was actively hurting my ears#i know not everyone can afford good audio equipment but theres a limit to what i can listen too#:(#im gonna keep looking every now and then and update the big post when i do find soemthign thats at least fine#i know it might sound like im obsessed with this but its just kinda good to hear others talk about it#and it can point out stuff i didnt realize before either#both positive and negative
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hey ho I just noticed that amongst many of your posts you have some pretty nasty things to say about yourself! As a concerned follower I am here to tell you that does you no good whatsoever, and have expierenced where it can lead you to! (Even when said in jest)
As an outside observer I have determined that exactly 0 of your negative statements are true, so don't believe the lies you tell yourself! Change statements like "my art sucks" to "my art is pretty neat!" (Because it is) "....just kill me" to ".... just give me shrimp" (or fav food/object) "I feel awful and lonely" to " I see the sun rise and its beautiful, I feel nice." And "I have more friends than i realise" ( notice something beautiful or do things you like and appreciate them, you'll start to feel better I promise!
Take a moment to slow down and just breathe and observe all the good things around you (go outside if you have to)
Heres a book that talks about changing your inner monologue for the better, "What to say when you talk to yourself" by Shad Helmstetter its definitely worth a read
I love you and sending a crushing bear hug to you! 🫂🫂💙💙💙
Unfortunately yes I have many bad things to say about myself (I am my biggest hater).
I've been around some pretty toxic people in the past (and present, most of them are my relatives, yikes) and I guess it's just easier to say negative things about me rather than hear them say things (behind my back).
I try to do better but when you don't fit into society the way other people do, it's kinda disheartening, makes me wanna give up.
Sometimes I wish I was like everyone else honestly, or have some confidence.
I'll definitely try to check out that book, thanks for the recommendation :)
Many hugs to you too anon 🫂🫂
#I'll say my art is pretty neat when that becomes true#honestly I don't always fit society's 'geed person' archetype so I guess that has settled deep in my bones#I have very low empathy(?) I rarely feel 'bad' for other people. sure I don't want anything bad to happen but I don't start crying when I#hear that someone I don't know died. or someone I know. I don't really cry actually. once or twice per 3 months#I have difficulties with expressing my emotions (and I feel like I don't feel fully. not like other people do)#I'm trying to take moments to appreciate life(?) but even life doesn't always feel real. like a chore you have to power through. most days#surprisingly I go outside almost every day for around an hour to walk. the city I live now has a harbor and I love the sea#there are too many people there tho... I don't like people. they're loud and don't pay attention to their surroundings#the times I've been almost ran over by bikes or cars is surreal#not art#text#ask#anonymous#I didn't mean to make you concerned about me. don't be. there really isn't anything you can do#one of my other negative traits is that I'm extremely stubborn. almost nothing can change my opinion about something#I try to do better but that unfortunately isn't always enough#society has failed me on many levels and it's hard to see the 'bright side' when a literal war is happening#and people you know will hate you for who you are#sometimes I use words like 'disheartening' and I can't remember if the translation I have in mind is for the actual word or something else#I don't mean to sound so depressing I just feel like I might actually jave depression. or autism. or just something wrong
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Man I just finished Babel and I was excited to read discussions online because there's so much going on in it with so many little things and just....angry white people. Everywhere. Truly a dead dove moment.
#the “you can't trust white people” theme might be a little like...aggressive but gosh you are not wrong#rf kuang#it was such a good depiction imo#it felt so much like explaining to white (or sometimes black) people what the problem is#especially felt like explaining being queer to straight people#i feel like a lot of people have at least a vague intellectual understanding of racism even if they don't see the racism#babel an arcane history#babel or the necessity of violence#also she captured a fair bit of mixed race and chinese diaspora feelings#also also i can see the relationship to the secret history and the fact that this is a rebuttal of dark academia while being dark academia#also realizing i dislike dark academia tbh#just...the ye olde university feeling is not my style#hence i went to engineering school where it had a je ne sais quois that i think is widespread neurodivergence#the good old boys clubs just do not interest me and i cannot really care about their lifestyles#it's not bad mind you it's just not for me#babel however is the exception that made me realize i dislike dark academia#hated the cloisters#got a rec for the secret history and had negative interest in that#i really want more and better depictions of engineering school and like...any similar experiences to what i had#they just do things like the social network where it's still a rich kid good old boys club but now with “nerds” who are just business majors#like the big tech guys of the modern era are primarily business guys not like...building computers in their basement#give me aome barely functional people who lean heavily into being weird once they go to school and they have hijinks like#updating archlinux and giving the other people shots if you get xyz system working again#first to get x11 back? REST OF YOU SHOTS. first to get internet back? SHOTS. sound? SHOTS. window manager? SHOTS.#or like...drama over your roommate not knowing how to do basic adult things like boil water or do laundry
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Nah man, I really gotta stop doing certain things
If you don’t wanna read you don’t have to, I’d say it’s KIND OF a vent but not really because I can’t take myself seriously like at all-
First things first there is one major thing I gotta stop and it is I HAVE TO STOP SAYING SORRY 24/7 my PARENTS have told me to STOP BUT I DONT- ITS INFURIATING. It’s like- you ever like try to go cold turkey on a habit that you do but you end up still doing it even if that cold turkey didn’t last for even an hour? YEAH ITS LIKE THAT- it’s a habit that I’ve built slowly upon and now it’s become a problem because anytime I DO say sorry over something minor my parents tell me to stop. I get they’re trying to help me, I love them for that, but it’s difficult when you assume anything you do and that you get a look for is your fault. Not their fault either if anything it’s mine for creating the habit but I’m telling you I just can’t stop it. It’s hard, and I hate it 💀
Second, I am a yapper. And there ain’t anything wrong with yapping first of all it’s just a problem and issue for me because I realize that I ain’t a multitasker. When it comes to be narrating to myself while doing something, chances are, I ain’t getting anything done because im too busy telling my life’s story to A WALL. And it’s especially become a problem because my mom (although is very interested with what I have to say) always tells me that I really just need to get stuff done and over with. I respect that, so im REALLY gonna try and just shut up. And I gotta be honest here I talk way too much for one person dude I just need to stop 😭😅
AND FINALLY, something I’m really trying to stop but it just keeps coming back to me!
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Listen if I had the ability to clone myself: I would sit her down and give her a lecture on what she does sometimes ain’t very smart and I REALLY gotta stop doing it.
But I gotta wait, cuz time does take a little bit and I know it’s gonna be a slow process getting these habits to stop. But you know what, that’s okay. I’ll be patient with myself, I’ll try to be. I’m gonna be okay. We’re all gonna be okay together.
🫂
#Vent(?)#Random#I was very tempted to write something but I know that imma sound like a hypocrite for it and it’s a bad example#I don’t want you guys to talk down on yourselves. don’t hurt yourselves. and especially don’t feel like you don’t deserve anything#I know you all do.#and hey you ain’t alone. I mean I’d once say I was the peak of good mental health but look at me now 👍#I mean I seriously cannot take myself seriously like at al in fact I joke about it a lot. but this brain of mine is really thinking of some#diabolical shit I’ll tell you that much#but fr tho guys. it’s okay#we got this. we ain’t giving up on this one. we gotta spite this world that keeps giving you negatives#YOU ARE A POSITIVE! out of all the negatives you get Remeber that you are a positive in this world. and you’re doing great at keep onward!!
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ugh. some thoughts.
really been trying to find the joy in drawing/writing again and honestly it's been such a challenge. friends have told me it's most likely depression that's making it hard to feel motivated and tbh they're probably right.
hoping to get back into being creative in the way I Want to be at some point tho. I miss it. there's still so much with my stories and characters that I haven't been able to share or explain and I wish I knew how without it feeling like this daunting, impossible task.
I don't know when I'll get around to actually sharing art again (or writing, if ever). was hoping that I'd manage to get some of my mental and physical issues in check recently for just long enough to get back into the swing of being creative, but that hasn't seemed to work. everything feels bad, both artistically and physically. I'm struggling to keep up with the frantic pace at which my brain comes up with story concepts and intriguing character interactions, even tho everything in me wishes I could turn it into tangible artistic expression so I can get it out of my head and share it. it used to be easy. I don't know why it's not now.
I'm just . tired, I guess.
#spectre says#text post#negative#vent post#delete later#sorry#i probably shouldn't post this idk#tbh i know i've said this a million times but. even if i'm struggling to draw or whatever#i'm still open for asks. i want so badly to talk about my characters and the things i've been unable to explain through art#but i can't get my own thoughts together enough to know where to start with that in like. just a random post#and asks would be a great way for me to actually focus on one concept at a time based on whatever you guys are curious about#but i hate sounding like i'm begging for attention/interaction i just. genuinely don't know if anyone is interested otherwise#and if you guys do want to know more you HAVE to tell me directly#because vague forms of engagement are difficult for me to comprehend or read between the lines of#i can't read minds obviously ><;;#i know ask culture has changed a lot over the years tho and a lot of ppl don't like sending them out of being shy or whatever#which i understand#it's kind of an awkward form of engagement that no other site really has#so no pressure i'm just letting you know that I won't know if any of you guys are interested in learning more about my stuff#if i'm not told directly is all#anyway. tangent aside#its just been rough mentally my dudes. hopefully things clear up at some point and i won't feel so dead all the time#and actually have the mental clarity to continue drawing/writing like i used to again;;; God willing;;
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🌷
#‘If you don't want to answer’ anon#yeah it’s a bit to early to talk about it and knowing this fandom it probably will never be the right time either#i tend to agree with you because I’m that sort of person that stands up for others when I feel there is something wrong going on#i like to confront people and I like to make things very clear#knowing this about myself I always struggle when the others dont do the same#and yeah if you keep Louis out of the equation#as you said he suffered from it too but still took the chance to speak up#(even if his fans are nasty and mostly stupid and i tell that with any possible intention of sounding rude and pretentious)#so you know his words fell a but unheard because that rage and hate kept going#i tend to agree with you on that#but they don’t ever talk or take any position like ever#it’s frustrating because you can’t take actions and try your best to soothe such strong negative emotions#and the fact they didn’t and never do… yeah it’s disappointing but also not really?#cause i don’t expect them too yk?#i think that if they were aware of what was going on now they are now already guilty tripping#i hope they’re taking care now but also i hope this is some sort of wake up call#to stop such waves of criticism and anger towards someone unreasonably#and just show support and do whatever you can to protect humanity#with kindness and respect. not only with words you know
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#( ooc )#negative tw#(( man idk if i'll ever be able to truly enjoy tumblr rp again at this rate ))#(( people have been nothing but kind to me ))#(( and yet i still get the nagging feeling that in the long run i just don't matter ))#(( there will always be other better alastor rpers ))#(( or vox rpers ))#(( or any other muse on my list ))#(( there's always someone that's more established and put together and just overall a better writer ))#(( i look at everyone on my dash and as much as i want them to write with me ))#(( i 'know' they can do better than me ))#(( they can find someone else that's more reliable and can write those awesome long term slowburn plots ))#(( i take too long and i'm too inconsistent and my writing isn't that good ))#(( i don't think i'm terrible ))#(( but i do feel like everyone else is better than i am ))#(( and i feel like my partners can do so much better ))#(( it really keeps me from reaching out to people to write things ))#(( what's the point if they can find someone better? ))#(( that's how my brain works and i hate it because i really do want to write ))#(( but i lowkey view everyone else as competition of sorts ))#(( bc (and i know i sound like a broken record) everyone else is better than me ))
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